#i am talking. The Jepsen Hour
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grad school essay writing soundtrack: girlpop
#i am talking. The Jepsen Hour#carly save me#ms jepsen. love u#others on this playlist but she is my babygirl#in undergrat i tried like. video game music. worked a bit ! sometimes#one term i was just listening to michael buble during all my homework??? freak era#hurgle says things
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ROTI phone hcs, go!!!
Anne Maria:
The phone case is pink.
VERY PINK.
Pink & purple leopard print. I am right. You can’t fricking deny it
She has a phone string with purple and golden charms on it
It’s a pretty new model.
There’s a crack on the upper right corner.
She has trouble typing up the code with her nails, so she has Touch ID.
Her lockscreen is probably some bad pic of her and her gal pals or a great one of her and Vito
Her home screen is some dreamy purple background. Probably some clouds with tiny sparkles all around
Her ringtone… this one was hard. I don’t know any techno! I decided to go with like the one song I know, Evacuate The Dancefloor by Cascada.
She has a special ring tone for Vito, Everytime We Touch (also by Cascada)
She talks about the most unhinged gossip on the phone in public
Every contact is saved with a pretty emoji next to them (Jo insisted that if she HAD to have her name saved with a heart, it had to be the black one)
B:
…
…
Nah, kidding.
He has a clear phone case. Simple, but efficient.
His phone is pretty old, and he knows it inside out.
His phone has been through some shit, but the screen is somehow intact.
His Lock Screen is probably some pretty science-ish thing, like a butterfly nebula.
His Home Screen is just one of the default ones.
His ringtone (I don’t know why anyone would call him, but anyway) is some instrumental… I can’t come up with what he’d listen to tbh.
Absolute meme lord. Has a meme or a GIF for every occasion.
He has one alarm at 6:30 every day and never misses it (TEACH ME YOUR WAYS B)
Brick:
Black leather phone case. Dare to tell me I’m wrong. I am not.
His phone is absolute blasted. You cannot tell me there aren’t at least ten cracks. That man is a KLUTZ
These bullet points really show you who my favourite character is up until now
His lock screen and home screen are the same green army pattern background.
He changes the Home Screen to a picture he stealthily took of Jo
Old model.
iPhone? What is that???
His ringtone is absolutely awful. No song in mind, but Brick just sounds like someone with absolutely no taste in music.
Reveille is his alarm sound which goes off at 0600 hours every day. He’s also an adept at waking up with one alarm. Bro is always ready to seize the day
Talks ridiculously loud over the phone
Has absolutely no social media. He is nowhere
Cameron:
Bought a phone with the prize money
It’s one of his most prized possessions
His mom bought him one of those mom phone cases with the wrap in front (I don’t know how to word that correctly)
It’s black
His lock screen is a picture of a butterfly. Not just any butterfly! A Danaus plexippus (AKA a monarch butterfly - the orange and black ones with those little white dots)
His home screen is a picture of him with Mike and Zoey
His phone is a pretty new model. His mom was afraid it would overheat too much if he had an older one
His ringtone is You’ve Got A Friend In Me
He doesn’t need an alarm because his mom wakes him up every day
Dakota:
Pink,pink,pink!
Bubblegum pink!
She has a personalised pop socket! It has D written in gold and the rest is - you guessed it - pink
Her lock screen is a picture of her and Sam (cutie piessss)
Home Screen is her favourite picture of her
It’s the newest model (obvi)
Touch ID & Facial recognition for easy use
Has paparazzis on speed dial
Her ringtone is Call Me Maybe by Carly Rae Jepsen
If you have some time, check out the music video. The last few seconds are PRICELESS
She has every social media app you can think of
She’s verified too!!
Uses emojis religiously. Always uses !! or ?? instead of a single sign
Dawn:
Got a phone solely to be able to give tarot readings over call
She gives the money she makes from it to associations
She has a clear phone case, but she put an upright Fool card in it
It symbolises innocence and free spiritedness
I looked it up on Wikipedia. Thanks Wikipedia (Henry Cahill would be disappointed)
It’s a decently old model, but she doesn’t plan on changing it anytime soon
Somehow always charged
Her homescreen and lockscreen are different pictures of her friends (both human and animal)
Has a ringtone, but she can somehow always sense when someone will be calling a few seconds before it starts ringing
It’s probably some New Age music (Gwen: 😖)
Always answers 3 to 5 business days after you send a message. It’s better to call her directly
Jo:
A simple black phone case
Her Lock Screen is just a black background with white text that says: “Why are you even touching my phone?”
Her home screen is literally the worst picture of Brick ever.
She always manages to catch him at the worst moments
He used to hate it, but he finds it endearing now
Again, you can really see who are my favourites rn
Her workout playlist goes hard!
Her ringtone is It’s My Life by Bon Jovi
She doesn’t have an alarm
Alarms are for chumps
You’ll die before you ever see her use an emoji.
There’s a few cracks around the lower corners
It’s a miracle there aren’t more considering how much it falls while she runs
Her voice mail says: “It’s Jo. Just don’t call me.”
Lightning:
Newest model. There is no way he isn’t one of those people who change phones every time a newer one comes out
Has a personalised phone case.
It’s a blue one, with yellow lines, his jersey number and his name
Both the Home Screen and Lock Screen are pictures of him
As it should, king!!
His workout playlist is also great
He listens to Brick’s music recs too much though, so it’s not as good as Jo’s
Only sends voice messages
Sends every sports video he ever sees to Jo and Brick
Jo nearly blocked him because of it
Has an awesome group chat with the rest of his football team
Again, my favourites really show
His ringtone is Moves Like Jagger by Maroon 5
Thought Jagger was a football player for the longest time
Mike & Co.
Mi: Black phone case so the system won’t go crazy
Mi: His Lock Screen & Home Screen is a picture of him and Zoey
The System: Writes out entire convos in the notes app
V: Everytime he’s in control, he changes the Home Screen to a picture of him and Anne Maria
V: He also calls her every single time
Cutie pie
V: voice messages are his thing
V: definitely dropped it a dozen times. It’s cracked all over.
S: Follows every gymnast you can think of on social media
S: She’s the reason Mike has a Russian keyboard too
S: Her and Simone Biles are literally besties
S: Forced him to install Duolingo to learn Russian
Mi: He makes her learn Italian
MS: Tries to install dating apps every time he’s on the phone
MS: Searches for “Single Women In The Area” way too many times for it not to be concerning
Reminder: He’s married.
MS: Mike changed the password and no one can tell him what the new one is
C: “Alarms? Back in my day, we woke up with the sun!” *disables it*
C: Also doesn’t know the new password
Ma: Are you kidding? Obviously doesn’t know the password.
Ma: Guessed it once, and changed Mike’s ringtone to fart sounds
Mi: The original ringtone was Under Pressure by David Bowie & Queen
V: Likes to change it to Ice Ice Baby because Mike won’t notice it instantly
Ice Ice Baby <3 Thank you Laurie Elliott
Sam:
A Mario phone case. No other option.
His Lock Screen is the same as Dakota’s
CUTIE PIESSSSS OMG I LOVE THEM SO SO MUCH ASIDHDHS
*cough*
Anyways, his Home Screen is probably some game related Easter Egg.
Not an actual easter egg jic someone gets the wrong idea
His ringtone is Jump Up Superstar by The Living Tombstone
My personal fav version is the one by VGR
It’s a pretty new model
Dakota offered to buy him a newer one but he said it wasn’t necessary
It always has a low battery percentage so he carries a charger everywhere
Definitely a moderator on a few gaming rated subreddits or Discord servers
A lot more low-key than his gf on social media
They have matching profile pictures
Scott:
His phone is a hand me down
It’s so old it’s nearly a family heirloom
Dude doesn’t have a phone case
It SHOWS. His phone is beat up.
His lockscreen is a photoshopped pic of his sister’s head on the body of a donkey.
They’re each others biggest hater
His homescreen is just a big pile of dirt.
It always reminds him of home.
I’m having so much fun with this one you have no idea
Scott and Jo have the most insane Twitter beef I swear
There’s a Tumblr account dedicated to it.
Scott also has several fan accounts (all ran by me lmao)
His playlist is absolutely insane.
The only Kanye songs I listened to are Monster & American Boy - because he’s awful - and they’re both 10/10 songs I fear
Scott actually has an amazing taste in music
Dude probably loves Whistle
I hate to admit it but it’s a good song
His ringtone is Right Round by Flo Rida & Ke$ha
Staci:
Phone case is light blue.
Both backgrounds are family photos
The family group chat is crazy
She makes it her job to alter Wikipedia articles every weekend
Her calendar is full of family functions
Her ringtone is Beautiful atiful Liar by Beyoncé and Shakira
Unfortunately her music taste is great too
Her voice messages are infinitely long. So are her voice mails
Multiple people from Total Drama (Jo and Scott) have her blocked
Zoey:
Her phone case is clear. She slipped a Polaroid photo of the Revenge cast inside
She made her phone string herself. It’s full of cute charms like little mushrooms, flowers, ladybugs, leaves…
Her Lock Screen is a cute (and slightly goofy ) picture of her, Cam and Mike
Her Home Screen was a group selfie taken on a girl’s night she had with the Revenge girls. Jo has her middle finger out - it was painted black at Dakota’s insistence-, Dakota and Anne Maria are posing while Dawn and Staci have each other in a half-hug and Zoey is taking the picture and doing a peace sign
I should draw that sometimes…
Anyway, Zoey is definitely an avail emoji user too. Also kaomojis (/*•*)/
Her ring tone is Take Me Away by Christina Vidal
Freaky Friday anyone??
She posts the cutest pics on social media
Tries to defuse the Jo/Scott beef
Fails, miserably
#total drama#tdroti#total drama revenge of the island#tdas#total drama all stars#td anne maria#td b#td brick#td cameron#td dakota#td dawn#td jo#td lightning#td mike#td scott#td sam#td staci#td zoey#zoke#td zoke#samkota#jockjockjock#i love them so so so much#headcanon#td headcanons#Spotify
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bad buddy ep 7 (rewatch)
how many times does pran pull out his entire (extremely intense) set of markers and not use them:
total so far: //// / (the fact that he pulled out actual watercolors before he used these markers lmao)
so i honestly don't have too much to say about this episode because it's kind of perfect to me. it's like a pop song that runs for exactly the amount of time you want and ends on that perfect upbeat (think, carly rae jepsen's i didn't just come here to dance).
this pat reaction is truly one of the most relatable thing that has happened on screen.
there is nothing i can say about this scene that has not been said and resaid and honestly every word is deserved. fucking perfection.
i am just amused that he's wearing a shirt that says wellness while pretending to be sick
next on the costuming, this makes me wonder shirt. like damn this show really is into the foreshadowing.
also while i said last time pran could have talked. fucking wai could have brought things up at any point with pran personally. (he's soooo annoying this ep) also considering the shit that patpran are pulling in broad daylight it would be a miracle if he hadn't picked up any clues. (i have a pet theory that korn's chill reception was a combination of being chill but also simply having figured it out most of the way and picking up the massive hints that patpran have not really been doing that much to hide, like korns been questioning pat since ep 1)
pran the fucking warrior!!! i love that he is both the extremely neat clothes, and waking up 2 hours early, and the, fuck you up if you fuck up his play vibe. love me a multifaceted king.
and yeah, honestly, i love this episode. it just brings me so much joy. we finally get to see them show each other how they feel and know its reciprocated and bask in that.
#bad buddy#badbuddyrewatch#bad buddy ep 7#the serotonin from this ep can carry me through many many days
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May! Officially springtime, I wanted my May playlist to key off of 'Les Fleurs' by Minnie Riperton, a song my bff shared in our family discord and has haunted me since (positive).
This playlist put itself together pretty quickly, and basically was in its final form by mid-month. And, since part of the whole point of me even starting doing monthly playlists was because I am prone listening to the same playlists over and over (and over), I had no problem spending two weeks of workdays listening to the same series of songs. It's comforting! My comfort playlist is six songs long and I used to play it on a loop through most of a workday at a Bad Place I Worked. Three hours of syrupy spring joy every day was a delight.
The vibe for May was, if I may quote what I sent my bestie in describing it: "Flowers and joy sweetness and fierceness is the vibes, Middle finger in a lace glove." I mean, I think I achieved that, anyway.
Several covers on this one, like the Cowboy Junkies covering Vic Chesnutt 'Flirted With You All My Life,' which is a hard one to cover for a lot of reasons but this is (to me) a successful attempt. The 'Goodbye Horses' cover by Dead On A Sunday is also a new favourite, it doesn't really change much about it, but it's just a good damn song. The Cardigans singing 'Sabbath Bloody Sabbath' hit me so unexpectedly, I was delighted.
Related media to some of the songs:
I enjoy the music video for Indigo De Souza's 'You Can Be Mean'.
An Dro's arrangement of the Hieronymus Bosch butt music is probably my favourite version, and I'm grateful to this Tumblr post for introducing this artist to me.
There are two songs from Schmigadoon! season two in here, if you can find a way to watch it (Apple TV+) and are a musicals fan you're in for a treat. It's a damn tragedy how they've got so few clips for this show and were consistently late in sharing what little they had or in making songs available quickly on Spotify. It's a musical show! You're a giant network! Anyway, enjoy this Chicago-inspired piece that is not on this playlist but is a delight nonetheless.
Anyway here's a link to May's playlist on Spotify, with the track list below the cut.
Also embedded if you like that:
'Les Fleurs' - Minnie Riperton
'Like Her Before' - Em and Dzeej
'You Can Be Mean' - Indigo De Souza
'Feel The Way I Want' - Caroline Rose
'Temba, Tumba Y Timba' - Los Van Van
'Army Dreamers - 2018 Remaster' - Kate Bush
'Hieronymus Bosch Butt Music' - An Dro
'Friends' - Ween
'Replacements (feat. La Roux)' - Chromeo
'Scarborough Fair / Canticle' - Simon & Garfunkel
'Athena' - Tristen
'Flowers Never Bend with the Rainfall' - Simon & Garfunkel
'Wear Your Love Like Heaven' - Donovan
'Petals' - Mariah Carey
'Lady May' - Tyler Childers
'Miracle' - Caravan Palace
'Hothouse Flower' - Tristen
'Lavender' - Oneida
'Sussudio' - Phil Collins
'For Real' - Mallrat
'Invisible Light' - Scissor Sisters
'This Must Be the Place (Naive Melody)' - Talking Heads
'Cut To The Feeling' - Carly Rae Jepsen
'Sabbath Bloody Sabbath' - The Cardigans
'Babalon' - Twin Temple
'Bustin' Out' - Dove Cameron
'Concerto In G' - Roger Neill
'Goodbye Horses' - Dead On A Sunday
'Faraway Look' - Yola
'Paradise' - Sade
'Electric Feel' - MGMT
'Sugar on My Tongue - 2005 Remaster' - Talking Heads
'Sweet About Me' - Gabriella Cilmi
'Suspended In Gaffa - 2018 Remaster' - Kate Bush
'So Sweet' - Nurses
'The Windmills Of Your Mind - Mono Version' - Dusty Springfield
'Bitter Sweet Symphony' - The Verve
'The Orchids' - Psychic TV
'Patchouli in the Morning / The Outlier' - An Dro
'Sugar Daddy' - Thompson Twins
'Kaput' - Dove Cameron
'Sweet Turns Sour' - Macy Rodman
'Savoir Faire' - Beth Ditto
'Sweet Poison' - Naked Eyes
'Violet' - Hole
'Eat The Acid' - Kesha
'Wave Catalyst (Low Tide)' - Pacific Coliseum
'Flowers - Medieval Style Instrumental' - Stantough
'Time Bandits' - Angel Olsen
'Flirted With You All My Life' - Cowboy Junkies
'Then Came the Last Days of May' - Blue Öyster Cult
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thank you @francophones hehehe
name: pipit
sign: libra gang rise up
time: 10:30 am (my bedtime 🥲)
favorite band/artist: i don't really have a single favorite ;;; i always love carly rae jepsen & hozier. lately i've been listening to chappell roan, pink pantheress, and new jeans.
last movie: ridley scott's legend (1985) ... why'd they cast tim curry as the villain... obviously he was going to out serve!!!!
last show: we shant talk about it (bad season) (not good) (terrible)
when i created this blog: 2013 i think??
other blogs: yes 💜 (i have a defunct kpop tumblr and a defunct k-indie tumblr lol)
do i get asks: occasionally ;;;
followers: i have some, tis true ❤️
average hours of sleep: not so good... 😭😭
instruments: i played the cello for many years when i was younger, but i haven't touched any musical instrument in a long time ;;;
what i’m wearing: matching set of green cotton pajamas hehehe
dream job: an academic librarian :> i studied history, specifically focusing on science & medicine, in college and honestly i loved it & considered going into academia haha
tagging @monacoprince, @formula1squids
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Double Media Feature
So if Die Hard, Sirens, and Brooklyn 99 had a baby...it would be this. It is hilarious. A bomb diffuse team on NYE trying to beat a record. It's short, it's great, it's got Jacobi, Loveless, and Eiffel from Wolf 359. I laughed out loud and started talking to the podcast.
So what am I working on while I do this?
I am revitalizing a copy of Maurice I bought from a used book store that fell apart upon opening it. I think the person who originally bought it never read it. It was a really copy glued together size 9 font affair with no margins. Add to this the fact that the book is close to 30 years old....and you can imagine the amount of damage. Maurice one of my favorite books. I think I like it for the reasons that other people like Jane Austen. I don't really care for Jane Austen, but I love the movie adaptations. They're great background noise. Plot wise though I get frustrated because it's still the upper class discarding the lower class (I am looking at you Sense and Sensibility) or supposing to lean into challenging class expectations by doing exactly what is best case scenario (That would be you Pride and Prejudice). The only one I really liked was Lady Susan and really I liked that one because it was SO much like Les Liaisons dangereuses.
Maurice is a favorite because Maurice chooses Alec and Alec chooses him. They really do forsake EVERYTHING for one another. I guess it's like what Pride and Prejudice would be if Darcy really did pick someone beneath him and the story was told from his side....or if any of the men in Sense and Sensibility had actually stood by any of the women they had knocked up or abandoned. It's more romantic to me I guess because it's.....
Yupe it's both of them going full Carly Rae Jepsen.
I've managed to get the thing type set correct, got the page numbers on there and did a few additions for my own sake. The joys of binding means that I can make the book "better."
Really by better I mean more user friendly. I've added a table of contents, and about halfway though an index (I had to redo it twice now, it's hard on the spirit to have SUCH failure), and the update of the global stance of homosexuality for 2022. I'm currently at over 100 hours on this project, but I think it's well worth the time given that legislation I saw take root in Virginia. I worry for the state of minority and queer texts with things like that in the wings, but to be fair I also worry about another Hays Code era given that some of the books tangled up in that lawsuit are straight couples.
This is how these things kind of start....legislation and the law can be dangerous. But maybe I'm paranoid. But...given what Texas and Florida and even Georgia have going on...needless to say I'm cultivating avenues to protect banned/challenged books. We always say it's to protect kids, but it's really about just removing chances to curate empathy I think. It's to casually and quietly make people "weird" or "strange" and in doing so make children grow up believing that those people might be wrong or evil. That's how you teach children hatred.
Now thinking about what I'm doing....I guess Maurice was the right choice to bind and customize. The whole book Maurice is struggling with who he is...
When I'm finished, DM me if you would like a copy of my edition? Anyone interested in my hundred of notes regarding the symbolism that I did when I was proofing my screwed up print outs that @evil-robot-cat had to pep talk me through?
#Spotify#wolf 359#one week#comedy#podcast#zero hours#pride#gay#literature#classics#e.m. forster#durham#virginia#hays code#virago publishing#pride and prejudice#carly rae#time:bombs#jane austen#sense and sensibility#lady susan#les liaisons dangereuses#bookbinding#alec#schudder#bisexual#texas#georgia#florida
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✨🎶👀
✨ This is something I've known and heard from many people over the years but goddamn I feel like I always nail dialogue!! It's definitely one of my strongest points as a writer at least— part of why my capstone project was an experimental TV pilot. In saying that, I feel I should mention that I have a degree in Creative Writing? Which sometimes I feel lessens my work but also absolutely doesn't. I studied the craft and got good. It's most obvious when I look back at my old fics that I've removed from FFN. I feel really proud of how far I've come :)
🎶 I do!! ADHD brain needs things happening constantly or I, personally, will die. Call me insane, but I don't have (and won't get) Spotify Premium so I listen to all of my music through YouTube videos. As of late, it's been a lot of Penelope Scott, MCR, Ado, Carly Rae Jepsen (specifically the EMOTIONS album), and The Mountain Goats. One or two songs from other artists peppered in there for extra flavor (i.e. earlier it was "San Cristobal" and "Crying at the Wawa" by Mal Blum, currently it's "Someday" and "What You Know" by Two Door Cinema Club). If I ever need to REALLY focus though, I pop on BLOOD👏RIGHT👏TEN👏HOURS and crank the volume so high that people get concerned for my well being. Something about it puts me in a writing trance.
👀 Oh I'm sitting on so many WIPs right now. Partially finished chapters for my two long form fics, for instance. Many stories I've plotted out that will likely never see the light of day outside my planning notebook. A fic for a non SP fandom that I will never release. What's currently on my mind which is to say what I am currently procrastinating while answering this ask is fics for Gregstophe Week! I'm trying to get them done way in advance so I can focus more on running the week when it comes around. I can't talk much about them without also giving away the themes of the week (those will be publicly announced in due time) BUT here's bits from two of the ones I've got:
(the initial "he" in the second one is Gregory if that's not obvious)
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Beyond Radio Presents - Castlist 011 - Ep 1 - What I Did Last Summer - The 40th Annual Music Party
This is the first of 3 episodes focusing on a few music-oriented stories from this past summer. The first episode talks about things from my 40th annual music party (the Castlist 002 episodes from the fall of 2018 talk about the #1's at the parties). It was a great party, the weather cooperated and there were a few key moments that I talked about in the episode. Here I am posting the top 50 songs from the party game and the top 50 artists of the last 40 years.
We mentioned and/or used 43 songs in this episode. And I brought up the Peanuts cartoon and the TV Kids Incorporated.
The top 50 for the party game.
1 PINK Never Gonna Not Dance Again
2 KELLY CLARKSON Happier Than Ever
3 HARRY STYLES Music For A Sushi Restaurant
4 SAM SMITH & KIM PETRAS Unholy
5 PINK Trustfall
6 LIZZO About Damn Time
7 MILEY CYRUS Flowers
8 MANESKIN The Loneliest
9 HARRY STYLES As It Was
10 HARRY STYLES Late Night Talking
11 GHOST Jesus He Knows Me
11 THE WOMBATS This Car Drives All By Itself
13 MAMMOTH WVH Mr. Ed
14 JVKE Golden Hour
15 TAYLOR SWIFT Anti-Hero
16 SHINEDOWN A Symptom Of Being Human
17 GUSTER Emily Ivory
18 LEWIS CAPALDI Forget Me
19 PALAYE ROYALE f/ LP Line It Up
20 CARLY RAE JEPSEN Beach House
21 KEITH URBAN Brown Eyes Baby
22 PANIC! AT THE DISCO Don't Let The Light Go Out
23 GHOST Spillways
24 KELLY CLARKSON Mine
25 DOLLY PARTON World On Fire
26 LUKE COMBS The Kind Of Love We Make
27 KATE BUSH Running Up That Hill (A Deal With God)
28 ELTON JOHN & BRITNEY SPEARS Hold Me Closer
29 ED SHEERAN Eyes Closed
30 SZA Kill Bill
31 LIZZO f/ SZA Special
32 WE ARE SCIENTISTS Handshake Agreement
33 JESSIE WARE Free Yourself
34 MAMMOTH WVH Epiphany
35 SON MIEUX Multicolor
36 WE ARE SCIENTISTS Turn It Up
37 DOJA CAT Vegas
38 DNCE Move
39 BEYONCE Summer Renaissance
40 IMAGINE DRAGONS Bones
41 FALL OUT BOY Love From The Other Side
42 BEYONCE Break My Soul
43 LIVE Operation Spirit
44 MANESKIN Gossip
45 BEYONCE Cuff It
46 RUFUS DU SOL On My Knees
47 TEGAN & SARA Smoking Weed Alone
48 ARCADE FIRE Unconditional (Lookout Kid)
49 COIN Brad Pitt
50 CARLY RAE JEPSEN Talking To Yourself
Top Music Party Artists 1983-2023
pos/# of songs/Points
1. 27 1421.4 MADONNA
2. 25 1342.4 U2
3. 26 1292.5 PINK
4. 16 958.5 LADY GAGA
5. 19 830 KELLY CLARKSON
6. 19 818.9 BRUNO MARS
7. 14 738.2 DUA LIPA
8. 13 716.9 ELTON JOHN
9. 11 690.4 ADELE
10. 13 619.8 R.E.M./MICHAEL STIPE
11. 18 617.6 EURYTHMICS/ANNIE LENNOX
12. 11 576.6 INXS
13. 12 546.4 MATCHBOX 20/ROB THOMAS
14. 10 544 JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE/N-SYNC
15. 8 542.5 ED SHEERAN
16. 11 540.6 CHRISTINA AGUILERA
17. 12 525.2 KYLIE MINOGUE
18. 8 524.3 ALANIS MORRISSETTE
19. 15 523.9 BEYONCE/DESTINY'S CHILD
20. 13 522.9 BRITNEY SPEARS
21. 9 502.4 HARRY STYLES/ONE DIRECTION
22. 10 492.4 THE KILLERS
23. 11 474.5 MAROON 5/ADAM LEVINE
24. 9 459.9 CELINE DION
25. 10 454.2 BACKSTREET BOYS
26. 11 451.2 GEORGE MICHAEL
27. 9 439.8 BLACK EYED PEAS/FERGIE
28. 9 422.4 IMAGINE DRAGONS
29. 10 419.1 SHINEDOWN
30. 11 415.9 FOO FIGHTERS
31. 8 413.3 SAM SMITH
32. 9 411.2 ARIANA GRANDE
33. 8 407.7 KEANE
34. 11 404.8 RIHANNA
35. 11 398.3 JANET JACKSON
36. 9 375.2 BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN
37. 9 368.3 PRINCE
38. 9 361.7 TAYLOR SWIFT
39. 10 361.6 MARIAH CAREY
40. 6 358 LINKIN PARK
41. 10 356.7 KATY PERRY
42. 9 353.5 STING/THE POLICE
43. 8 352 COLDPLAY
44. 8 350.9 THE WEEKND
45. 7 345.8 DAVID BOWIE
46. 6 344.4 LIZZO
47. 8 342.6 JONAS BROTHERS/DNCE/NICK JONAS
48. 5 336.3 MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE
49. 7 336.2 RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS
50. 5 330.3 TRAIN
Check out this episode!
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I was tagged by @kvothes to name 10 songs I love by 10 different artists and u know what... I'd love to! Now I'm a person who likes to listen to the same music for 15-20 years in a row plus I'm a FM radio top 40head and somebody who never knows what's going on and who loves slop. But these are some songs that I can never listen to enough times in a row!!!!
1. No One Dies From Love by Tove Lo - ok not to be like "WHY is NOBODY talking about this" but like why is nobody talking about this!!!! Not only does it fuckin whip ass and slap but she says "no one dies from love..... guess I'll be the first.... will you remember us.... or are the memories too stained with blood now?" HELLO??????????? THE FACT THAT THIS ISN'T BEING DISCUSSED AT ALL HOURS RIGHT NOW???? THIS IS A FUCKIN SONG!!!!
2. Western Wind by Carly Rae Jepsen - is this the best CRJ song I've ever heard in my life??? No... that's "I Know You Have a Girlfriend" which isn't on any American streaming services so I have to listen to it 200x in a row on YouTube which is dehumanizing. Sitting here rewinding it with my fingers... ok. HOWEVER this is a new CRJ song and I love it and it has changed me. The verses are like fine but the chorus sounds soooo good.... "DO U FEEL HOME FROM ALL DIRECTIONS??????"
3. Dark Green Water by Great Grandpa - @notthequiettype put this on a playlist (btw if anyone posts a playlist or a song I'm not joking when I say I slam the link and listen immediately like if u think nobody cares think again bc I am on top of it) and it stopped me in my tracks!!!!!! About 3 minutes in it gets quiet and ur like ok it's winding down... then they pop off and start yelling again and it HITS!!!!!! She's like "hold on best I can to a space where... ALL 🗣 THINGS 🗣 FADE 🗣 INTO DARK 🗣 GREEN 🗣 WATER!!!!!" voice breaking.... absolutely yes bitch.
4. BITM by Leikeli47 - Spotify put "Money" by Leikeli47 on their Taurus zodiac playlist a couple years ago and as a Taurus I listened to it and was just like yes..... YES!!!!!!! She just dropped a new album and maybe it is being overshadowed... but it completely fucks!!!!! "U MIGHT WANNA LOOK BOTH WAYS BEFORE U THINK ABOUT CROSSING ME"..... YES!!!!!! I WANNA GO CRAZY
5. Teach Me by Miguel - ok like I said I listen to the same songs for decades... this is from an extremely important 2010 album and is without question one of the best horny fuck songs of all time. IT WASN'T EVEN A SINGLE?????? ANYWHERE WE ARE~ I'M DARING U TO DEMONSTRATE~ THE FRONT SEAT OF MY CAR~ CLOSE UR EYES AND ACCELERATE~ IF U NEVER SEEN SATURN~ TAKE A RIDE ON MY ROCKET BABE~ UR BODY IS A PARTY AND~ I JUST WANNA CELEBRATE~ brother that's fuckin music!!!!!!
6. Diane by Cam - this is sort of a reverse Jolene where miss Cam finds out she's fuckin another girl's man and she's like oh my god I'm SO sorry I had NO idea we BOTH should dump his cheating ass. Full force galloping at full speed music and this bitch is SINGING her HEAD off!!!!!! "ALL THOSE NIGHTS THAT HE'S GIVEN TO ME... I WISH THAT I COULD GIVE THEM BACK TO U!!!!!"
7. Come To My Window by Melissa Etheridge - I learned what the dictionary defines a lesbian as because this song came on the radio at some point when I was a young child so like between 1993-1996 probably and I was like now this is a fuckin song and my mom was like "hey u know Melissa Etheridge is a lesbian" and I was like what's a lesbian and my mom was like (paraphrasing) "a woman who loves other women" and I was like oh my god... remember when Applebee's used this song in a commercial to promote their curbside pickup???? JUST THINKING ABOUT IT MAKES ME SCREAM... LESBIAN APPLEBEE'S???? CRAWL INSIDE.... WAIT BY THE LIGHT OF THE MOON!!!!
8. Spud Infinity by Big Thief - springy sproingy jug band science fiction porch music.... music to think about how u are a small and in the dirt but at the same time u are everything in the sky. KISS THE ONE U ARE RIGHT NOW KISS UR BODY UP AND DOWN.... OTHER THAN UR ELBOWS. Brother I'm losing steam they shouldn't let me write about things I like
9. Cat & Dog by TXT - I think everyone should listen to this kpop song at least once. I will never forget sitting here getting my mind blasted wide open by it. TXT set a precedent with this and they haven't disappointed me since. THEY GOT THESE LITTLE BOYS BARKING ON THE TRACK RIGHT OUT OF THE GATE!!!!! The English version they say "it's no coincidence it's a kitty-incidence" think about THAT!!!!
10. Stay (I Missed You) by Lisa Loeb - this was recently featured on the tv limited series Station Eleven where someone who was born after 99% of the population died in a flu pandemic sings it on a karaoke machine. This proves how important this song is... Stay by Lisa Loeb transcends total global collapse. DID LISA LOEB DIE IN THE FICTIONAL PANDEMIC???? OH GOD... btw if u still haven't watched Station Eleven u simply must. It sounds bleak but it isn't and made me cry so hard from joy that my face separated from my skull. SO I - I TURNED THE RADIO ON I TURNED THE RADIO UP AND THIS WOMAN WAS SINGIN MY SONG!!!!!!
#music#I'm so sorry#and yet#NOT sorry at all!!!#thank u for tagging me!!!#if anyone wants to do this...#wowowow
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Things that would improve Columbo (in this order):
1. Acknowledgement that Lt. Colambo exists
2. Peter Falk is 3 inches shorter
3. Columbo sucks on comically large spiral lollipops instead of cigars (bad for lungs)
4. Columbo announces who the murderer is by kissing them (a la biblical style)
5. Dog is in every episode
6. Mrs. Columbo is announced as canonically over 6 feet tall
7. Columbo gets to know who Carly Rae Jepsen is
8. Beach Day episode where it's just an hour of Columbo playing fetch with Dog at the beach
1. ABSOLUTELY YES, colambo is real, columbo talks about him constantly and is constantly going off abt what a great detective he is
2. also yes cause then he'd be shorter than me which overall i think would be a big win for manlets 💞
3. he always has one out of nowhere, everyone else is like "where tf did you get that" and he just 😶s (it was in his raincoat)
4. finally. bisexual columbo will be CONFIRMED
5. dog needs to be on screen every single second or i will pass away
6. i've been a tall mrs. columbo truther since day 1 so i am 100% down with this
7. every episode should start like make me a perfect murder, but with him singing/humming along in the car to a carly rae jepson ride
8. there's no murder, the only mystery is trying to find dog's frisbee. lord forgive me for saying this but MAYBE there could also be a tasteful smidgen of tiddie like in troubled waters 😳
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with great power I [lee jeno]
summary: there are two things jeno loves most about his life. one being spiderman, the other being you, his best friend. there’s just one issue: after your father’s death, you decide you hate both spiderman and yourself.
pairing: lee jeno x reader
genre: superhero au, high school au, coming of age, best friends to strangers(ish) to lovers, fluff, ANGST, minor crack
warnings (for this chapter): language, violence, gun violence, the mafia, parental death, police presence, sexual references, bullying (ily san im sorry), the dreamies being dicks to each other, police corruption, towards the end jeno experiences something similar to sensory overload, americanized names, pop culture references, VERY jeno centric
song rec: we go up - nct dream // any song - zico // 21 questions - waterparks // talk (remix feat. megan thee stallion & yo gotti) - khalid // sunrise - ateez // i really like you - carly rae jepsen // dare - gorillaz // stray kids - the tortoise and the hare
word count: 10.5k
a/n: this is so late...... i blame attack on titan. but hey!! better late than never :] a huge thanks to @doderyscoffee for beta reading <3
main masterlist // story masterlist
chapter one: jeno and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad week
Jeno despised Tuesdays. He was pretty sure that Tuesdays despised Jeno as well because all of his worst days just so happen to be Tuesdays. He was 96% sure that, if there was a god, his day off was on Tuesdays, or that the planets aligned in such a manner on Tuesdays that it caused universal despair and misery. If he was to take Donghyuck's word for it, his chakra attracted negative energy the most on Tuesdays.
When Jeno was 5, his goldfish Pippin had died on a Tuesday. When he had his ass handed to him on the playground by San Choi in the third grade, it was a Tuesday. And in the seventh grade, he'd failed his Spanish test, missed his bus and walked home in the rain only to find out that his Aunt Sunny was at work, he'd left his keys in his locker and that had to wait an hour before she got home to unlock it for him, all on a Tuesday.
And wouldn't you know it, here he was, late for the first day of senior year, which was, of all days, a godforsaken Tuesday.
In his eternal wisdom, he'd stayed up gaming with Renjun until two in the morning, and because of it, slept through his three alarms, one set at six-thirty, the other at 6:45, the last one at 7:00.
He'd woken up at 7:17, to the sound of his elderly neighbor's pet chihuahua barking at a pigeon, checked the time, immediately panicked, sped into the shower, gotten dressed in a haste, grabbed a few granola bars from the pantry, and ran out the door while trying to jam his backpack closed, and managed to catch the train at 7:40, which took about twenty minutes to get to his stop, plus a ten-minute walk to school, and class started at 8:10. Not to mention he’d have to stop by the office and pick up his schedule. At best, he’d be five minutes late to his first class. But tardies were tardies, regardless, and the last thing he needed was to lose his perfect attendance streak.
He fished out his phone while standing on the train, waiting for his stop, scrolling through Instagram, and liking random pictures. A ping! from his phone caught his attention, then two, then a third. He smiled softly when your name popped up on his screen.
[7:48 AM]
y/n: pssst
y/n: shithead
y/n: where r u ????
[7:49 AM]
y/n: i can sEE u online on ig u know
jeno: …… i'm on the train
jeno: woke up late
y/n: YOURE GONNA BE LATR
y/n: LATE*
y/n: ON THE FIRST DAY OF SENIOR YEAR
[7:50]
jeno: probably, yeah
jeno: it's the school district's fault, why would they make the first day of school on a fkn TUESDAY
y/n: ohhh yeahh its terrible tuesday
y/n: [sent an attachment!]
[7:51 AM]
jeno: SHUT UP
jeno: you're not funny >:(
jeno: how dare you laugh at my misfortune
y/n: au contraire im hilarious
jeno: meanie :(
jeno: im gonna be late i hate it here
jeno: it'll end up on my permanent record and i'm not gonna get into college and then i'm gonna die,,,
[7:52 AM]
y/n: sometimes ur worse than hyuck i swear
y/n: FIRST OF ALL permanent records dont even exist !!!!!! its propaganda duh
y/n: also ur literally never late
y/n: im sure o n e tardy wont do anything chill
y/n: dont be stupid youll be fine
Don’t be stupid. Too little, too late, he thought, already having got off the train at a previous stop. Now, he was looking for an unoccupied street or alleyway, which, for once, was easy, taking a deep breath before he did the exact opposite of what you’d told him not to do. Don’t be stupid.
The buildings are low, he thought to himself, it’ll be easier to see me.
Don’t be stupid.
Too late!
Thwip!
Jeno didn’t hesitate to use the web fluid to pull himself up onto the wall, climbing in a haste, before running and jumping onto the next building. He quickly built up a quick pace, using the web fluid occasionally to swing onto a building slightly out of jumping range.
Signs in English, Chinese, Korean, and Spanish flew past him as he seemingly flew over the Queens traffic, leaving Flushing behind and crossing quickly into College Point quicker than he would if he took the train. He glanced to his left and caught a view of the bay, and far across it, the LaGuardia airport watchtower.
Jeno had lived in New York City his entire life. He knew Queens like the back of his hand, knew every dingy alleyway, every sketchy street, which restaurants to avoid if you didn’t want to get food poisoning, which convenience store aunties were the nicest and didn’t pinch his cheeks too hard. It was his home, and most likely would be for the rest of his life.
But seeing it like this, flying past him below as he glided with ease from building to building would never cease to be a sight to him. It was like watching from the perspective of an outsider, seeing people in their cars, walking along the street gave him a brand new perspective. A Jeno’s eye view, he called it, since he was pretty sure he was the only one in New York City.
Another noise from his phone brought him back to reality. He shook his head, stopping briefly to catch his breath and fish out his phone briefly.
[7:57 AM]
y/n: let me know when u get here !!!
No time to respond, he put away the phone and continued his trek to school. He had less than ten minutes to get there. But he knew he was already at least five minutes away, much quicker than he would be if he had decided to stick to the train. He smiled a bit to himself, feeling ever so slightly smug.
The hustle and bustle of the city definitely proved challenging to find a place to land without many eyes, but he figured it out eventually, landing behind a dumpster in an alleyway behind a restaurant that he knew was about three or four blocks from the school. He figured it would be a lot better to take it on foot from here. The notebooks he was carrying in his backpack bounced up and down with every step he took.
After what seemed like forever, the gates to the school appeared in his view, and Jeno felt a joy in his heaving chest, something he would have never thought would happen upon seeing the absolute hellhole that was Samuel Morse High School.
[8:06 AM]
jeno: just did >:D
Picking up his schedule was both quick and insanely long. He couldn’t stop himself from tapping his left foot while the secretary found his schedule and handed it to him. “Kibum, please hurry,” He muttered, and Kibum raised an eyebrow at him, but his gaze was teasing. “That’s Mr. Kim to you, in school at least.”
He handed Jeno his schedule a few seconds later. “Tell your Aunt to come pick up her casserole dish, by the way. She left it at my house after my last viewing party.”
“The Bachelor?”
“Please. We’re too classy for that. Drag Race.”
“Ah. I see.”
“Jeno,” Kibum said, staring up at him from his desk, his gaze now much more serious, “Get to class. Happy first day of senior year.”
“Thanks, Mr. Kim.”
He managed to make it to chemistry class at 8:09 with seconds to spare. His eyes quickly scanned the room upon entering, hoping his friends were in the class with him. He caught a few familiar faces, most of which, like San Choi's, he wished to avoid. No one paid him any mind. Everyone was still speaking to the people next to them, no doubt exchanging stories of summer vacation.
A hand shot up towards the back, waving at him. A smile stretched across his face as he registered your face, feet not hesitating to carry him towards the empty seat next to you. His heart skipped a beat at seeing your smile, and he tried his best to ignore it.
“Hey,” You greeted, “That was fast. I thought you said you were gonna be late.”
Jeno shrugged, eyes landing on the dark shade of the lab table. “The train was a lot faster than I expected, apparently.”
You wrinkled your nose. “Why do you smell so bad?”
“I, uh… ran a little.”
You grimaced, and Jeno tried to casually sniff at his slightly sweaty clothes. It’s not that bad. “I still don’t understand why you won’t let me drive you to school. You’re literally next door.”
“I don’t know,” He answered, rolling his eyes, “Maybe it’s because when it comes to that truck, you are absolutely insane. You won’t even let me drink water in that thing.”
The truck in question, a faded red 1998 Chevrolet S-10, had been your gift to yourself for your 17th birthday. You’d spent two summers saving up to buy yourself a truck, and that was what you were able to get for what you had. To say it was a huge piece of junk on wheels was an understatement.
The thing smelled like mothballs no matter how many air fresheners you bought it, the engine sounded like an old man having a coughing fit, and there was a very suspicious stain in the backseat that wouldn’t go away no matter how many times you scrubbed it. But for some reason, you treated it like it was your own baby. The amount of times you’d yelled at Jaemin for trying to put his feet on the dashboard was too high to count.
You mirrored his movement, eyes rolling as you sighed. “At least let me drive you home after school today. Maybe you can stay and we can finally watch Blade Runner.”
You’d been trying to get him to watch the film for almost a month now, begging and pleading because you insisted that he’d love it. He offered an awkward stare, before opening his backpack and pulling out a notebook. “Can’t,” He mumbled, “I’m headed into Manhattan. I have my internship afterwards.”
“Oh, yeah,” You said nonchalantly, eyebrows shooting up as you remembered, “Park Industries.”
He was about to reply when Mrs. Baker, the chemistry teacher, finally entered. She’d been working at SMHS for 30 years and had never, apparently, been nice, if his Aunt Sunny’s stories were anything to go by. However, she had apparently always spoken as if she smoked two packs a day. She was rambling about the importance of making the most of senior year academically, adult responsibilities, college, and whatnot. You and Jeno exchanged glances often throughout the monologue, hoping it would end soon.
“Enough of that,” She said after what seemed like an eternity, “Everyone quiet down, I’m going to call roll.”
Names were quickly called, and Jeno was ready to pull out a pencil and start working with you until Mrs Baker demanded a switch in seats, beginning to call on random names in an effort to deter everyone from speaking.
"Please not with Choi, please not with Choi," Jeno muttered under his breath, glancing warily at San, who was staring ahead, looking bored.
San had had it out for Jeno ever since day one, in first grade. For some reason, everything Jeno did seemed to annoy the other boy. He wasn't funny enough, or too nerdy, or too quiet. Jeno was always too much or too little for him.
You touched his forearm, and he looked towards you.
“You’ll be fine,” You said softly, trying not to alert the teacher, “You’re not gonna get paired up with him, and you can take it to the office if you need to.”
“Yeah, because I’m sure Coach Peralta would be thrilled if someone tried to get his precious midfielder in trouble.”
“Choi, San,” Mrs Baker’s voice rang throughout the room, and Jeno braced himself for the worst, eyebrows furrowing with worry.
“You’ll be sitting with… L/N, Y/N.”
Jeno’s shoulders slumped, but your face remained impassive. You picked up your stuff, and pouted silently at Jeno in apology, before making your way to the front.
“Lee, Jeno,” Mrs Baker called a few minutes later, “You’ll be sitting with Jang, Yeeun.”
He breathed out a sigh of relief. Yeeun is nice, Jeno thought to himself, I could sit with Yeeun. She wasn’t part of his main friend group, but he had tutored her in math during sophomore year in exchange for her helping him with Spanish, and they’d been pretty friendly ever since.
“Hey,” Yeeun greeted as Jeno sat down, and Jeno smiled at her.
“Remember, these will be your assigned lab partners for the rest of the semester. No changes, no exceptions.” Mrs. Baker sat down at her desk, before beginning to talk about something Jeno didn’t really pay attention to.
You exchanged glances with Jeno, and he gave you a look of sympathy as you gestured at San with your eyes. San was talking to you about something—probably bragging about some soccer achievement—but you weren’t paying him much attention. Jeno swallowed something growing in his throat as he looked at how your hair looked today.
It was nothing relatively new, the same hairstyle you used on most days. But still, there was a bit of a shine to it. He wondered vaguely if you had changed your shampoo, the other day you’d been complaining about how itchy your normal shampoo made your scalp—
“You still haven’t told her about how you feel?” Yeeun asked quietly, and Jeno’s head snapped back to look at her, eyes wide.
“W-what? Me. Like Y/N…” He laughed nervously, trying to keep his voice down. He scratched the back of his head, avoiding Yeeun’s accusatory stare. “You’re hilarious, Yeeun. Tell another one.”
Yeeun shook her head. “You’d better hurry before someone else snatches her up, Jen. She’s not gonna wait around for you forever.”
“I don’t like her, Yeeun.”
“Keep telling yourself that.”
“Hey! Jeno Lee!”
“Hey! Jaemin Na! What do you want!” Jeno answered as he sat down, mimicking Jaemin’s tone next to him.
“Well, for starters, a million dollars, and second, a date with Yiren Wang, but I doubt you can help me with either of those, so...”
Jeno glanced at the rest of the table. Along with Jaemin, Mark, Renjun, Donghyuck, and you were watching the interaction between the pair. “Where are the munchkins?” Jeno asked, noticing Chenle and Jisung’s absence. No one could really call them munchkins anymore. That nickname dated back to middle school, before the two underclassmen had gone through growth spurts.
“Eh, they should be here soon,” Renjun said, chewing on a french fry, “How’s your day been?”
“Pretty good so far, I guess. I got AP Calc with Mr. Washington later, though. That man wants me dead.”
You rolled your eyes. “He doesn’t want you dead. I’m telling you, you and Hyuck have been spending way too much time together. You’re being more dramatic than usual and Hyuck’s being more… weird than usual.”
“And just what is so weird about being enthusiastic about senior year, Y/N?” Donghyuck asked, shaking his head, “It’s our last year in this hellhole, I’m excited that we’re finally getting out of here. And besides—”
“Please don’t bring up the fact that you’re abandoning us next year.” Chenle seemingly appeared out of nowhere, sitting next to Renjun, Jisung following quickly behind him.
“Hi, Sungie,” You said with a smile, and Jisung smiled back. “Hi, Y/N.”
“What were you saying, Hyuck?” Jaemin looked at Donghyuck, who had taken the quick interaction as an opportunity to take a bite of his sandwich. His wide eyes darted to the slim boy, cheeks stuffed with chicken.
“Oh,” He replied after swallowing, “This is gonna be my year. I’m getting male lead for the winter musical and no one is gonna stop me.”
“Do you even know what musical you guys are doing yet?” Mark asked, “What if it’s like… Shrek?”
Jisung made a face. “There’s a Shrek musical?”
Mark nodded, and Renjun laughed.
“I don’t know about male lead, if it’s Shrek. You should try out for Donkey,” The Chinese boy joked, “With those front teeth, you’re a shoo-in.”
The entire table was silent for a moment, before snorts and chortles started pouring out from everyone except Donghyuck.
“Fuck you, Huang.”
Renjun flashed the friendliest smile he could muster. “Not if you paid me a million dollars.”
The subject remained on extracurriculars, everyone in your group except for Chenle and Jisung now wary of college applications. Donghyuck had been in theater ever since middle school, Renjun was in the robotics club and the debate team with Jaemin, who was also in the student council. Mark was on the math team with Jeno, and you had founded the film club.
"You're not gonna believe who asked to sign up for film," You huffed, looking kind of confused. The rest of the table looked at you expectantly, and you pursed your lips, almost as if you were trying not to laugh.
"San Choi."
Renjun scoffed. Jaemin raised his eyebrows before letting out a single, humorless laugh. Jeno made a face, poking his plastic fork at you.
"What is San Choi doing asking to sign up for film?"
"Fuck if I know. He said he needed one more extracurricular if he wanted to get into some college in Florida and he liked going to the movies, so he wanted to try out film."
Mark rolled his eyes. "I swear there's nothing in that guy's head but hot gas. It blows my mind."
"He's a dick," Chenle grumbled, "I'm still not over how he and Wooyoung taped Jisung to the flagpole last year."
Jisung scowled. "I thought we agreed to never bring that up again."
“Do you think they’ll finally calm the fuck down this year?” Jaemin wondered, looking wistful.
You took a sip of your coke and shook your head. “Doubt it. They’re not the hateful eight for a reason.”
The mood at the table turned tense, until Jaemin frowned at his french fries, before sighing and clapping his hands together dramatically. “I would like to hear,” He mused, “About the nuance that theatre gives the cinematic masterpiece that is Shrek when converted into musical form.”
Donghyuck beamed. “Oh, it’s amazing. You see…”
If it was difficult to get Donghyuck to stop talking in general, it was impossible when it was about theater.
The conversation continued on until the bell rang, and the eight of you had to go your separate ways. Jaemin and Jeno had the same class, so they both walked together down a relatively calm hallway. Jaemin looked both ways, before finally lowering his voice.
“So, you’re going to see Mr. Park today?”
Jeno nodded, looking down at his shoes. “He said he wanted to give me an assignment. Says there’s something big going on.”
Jaemin’s eyes lit up with curiosity. “Did he say what kind of something?”
Jeno shook his head, pouting slightly. “I’ll let you know tomorrow.”
Once school was out, Jeno was getting ready to get onto the subway once again, this time heading towards Midtown. It was only day one and, as Jeno had predicted, Mr. Washington probably was out to get him, because he’d swamped the class with homework.
As he left the school, he spotted you in the parking lot, leaning against your car door, texting someone. He glanced at his phone. He still had plenty of time, he figured. He walked over to you, and when you looked up, you smiled.
“Hey!” Your voice had that signature tone of enthusiasm to it, and Jeno smiled back immediately.
“Hello,” He sing-songed. “So, I was thinking… are you free on Friday night?”
You looked somewhere above his head, furrowing your eyebrows before you perked up again and nodded. “Yep! Why?”
“I’m free after nine. Maybe then I could come over to your house? So I can finally get you to stop harassing me about Blade Runner.”
You grinned, pumping your fists enthusiastically. “Hell yes,” You answered, “Do you want me to get like, some frozen pizzas or something?”
“Pizza sounds good,” He said. “Who are you even waiting for?”
You made a face that made it seem as if you’d just gotten a whiff of rotten milk. “Well—”
Your response was interrupted when the school doors slammed open, and eight figures poured out, carrying themselves with confidence Jeno both envied and despised. He frowned, trying not to react at their loud whooping and laughing. The Hateful Eight.
“Oh.” Jeno averted his gaze, meeting your eyes again.
“Yeah. If you don’t hear from me later it’s because I jumped out of my truck because I don’t wanna work with—”
“Well, hello, gorgeous!” San’s voice filled the parking lot, and Jeno took a deep breath. Your mouth stretched into a tight-lipped smile at the unwanted ‘compliment’.
“Hey, San.” Your friendly passive aggressive tone almost made Jeno smile. “I’ve been waiting here for like, fifteen minutes. You could have just given me your number and asked me to send you pictures of my notes, you know.”
He shrugged, turning his body so that his back was turned to Jeno. “Sorry, babe. Coach wanted to talk to us about the upcoming season. When he gets going, it’s hard to get him to stop. And besides, where’s the fun in just asking for pictures when I could come here, talk to you, and take the pictures myself?”
You didn’t respond, but rather pulled out your backpack and began digging through it. When you pulled out your notebook, you handed it to San, who flashed a wink at you. You barely held back a gag.
“Thanks, Y/N. I’ll just be a minute.”
He walked over to the hood of your truck, and just as you were about to continue your conversation, two figures slung their arms around both of Jeno’s shoulders, causing him to flinch.
Out of the fifteen soccer players on the team, San and his best friends—seven of them, to be precise—were the worst. The others were pretty nice. But right now, seeing two of those seven surround your best friend made you uneasy.
Wooyoung was loud. He was also a temperamental brat. His dad owned three used car dealerships over in Brooklyn, so naturally, he thought he owned the entire world. He wasn’t someone who would get too physical in fights, like San, or Jongho, or Yeosang. But when he was angry, he could easily get you to jump into the stratosphere by yelling at you once. Over the years, he’d made several teaching assistants and substitute teachers cry, only getting let off with a slap on the wrist every time.
Yunho was terrifying for completely different reasons. He was friendly, but a little too friendly to the people he wanted to control. He could read people like books and could easily manipulate whoever he wanted. But he wasn’t afraid of getting physical either, especially not when he was built like a goddamn Power Rangers Megazord.
All in all, they definitely weren't anyone you wanted near you, near your friends. Especially considering how much they had it out for your friends.
"Hey, buddy," Yunho said, looking down at Jeno with a wide smile. "How was summer vacation?"
Jeno gnawed on the side of his cheek as he considered his answer. "Um, it was okay." He looked at you to catch your eyes darting between San, Yunho and Wooyoung, like you were analyzing the situation. "I kinda stayed in and played video games most of the t—"
"Cool, cool," Yunho answered, carding his free hand through his bleach blond hair. "What about you, Woo?"
"Oh, dude, it was so cool," He bragged, "I went to Brazil for like, a month. I went clubbing with Instagram models and shit, it was wild."
You stared at him as he patted Jeno on the back rather aggressively. "Where did you go? Have you ever even left New York?"
You knew the answer. Only a few times when the debate team went to compete in different states. Jeno spoke up again. "Well, yeah a few t—"
"Doubt it," Yunho scoffed. He craned his head back. "San, you done yet?"
"Almost!" San answered. Yunho turned to face you, and for some reason his smile seemed genuinely kind. “What about you, Y/N?”
You never understood why it was that the soccer team hated your entire friend group, but seemed to tolerate you. It made no sense.
So you shrugged. “Not a lot, I guess. Did my summer reading. Hung out with my friends.” You flashed a reassuring smile at Jeno. “Right, Jen?”
Immediately, he relaxed a little bit. “Yeah.”
San appeared from behind Yunho, Jeno and Wooyoung. “Thanks, Y/N. I owe you one.”
You waved your hand, wanting them to get rid of them quickly. “Don’t mention it. But next time, just text me for my notes. I have to get to work, so…”
“Oh! My bad,” He answered with fake remorse, before unlocking his phone and handing it over to you. “Here. For next time.”
You stifled a deep sigh, punching in the numbers hesitantly. “Just for homework, got it?”
San took his phone back, holding a hand over his heart and raised his head. “On a gentleman's honor,” He declared, and you bit back a laugh. Jeno looked like he was going to hurl.
“San!” The team captain—Hongjoong—called from a few feet away, “Are you guys done yet or what?”
“Coming!” San yelled back.
“Alright, we’ll let you go,” Wooyoung said, patting Jeno on the back again, a bit too harsh for comfort. “Bye, Y/N! See you around.”
The three of them stalked off, leaving you and a very frazzled Jeno. “Dicks,” You muttered once they were out of earshot. “You good?”
Jeno shook his head, waving his hand dismissively. “I’ll be fine.”
You tilted your head, frowning. “Jeno—”
“I gotta go,” He said quickly. “I’ll see you later?”
You nodded, offering a lopsided smile. “Yeah. Be careful!”
Jeno offered a deep bow, fluttering his eyelashes. “On a gentleman’s honor,” He sighed, adding a very bad British accent to it. You burst out laughing, eyes squeezing shut.
You didn’t catch the way Jeno’s shoulders relaxed at the sound.
I want you to know now
Baby, it could go down
I don’t wanna talk about it
Baby, let’s just go now
The train ride into Midtown didn’t take too long. He spent it digging through his backpack for his Park Industries lanyard, listening to music and thinking about you.
When you talk right to me
You gon’ have to do me
Every time you think you’re leaving
You running back to me
You’d met Jeno when you were six. Truth be told, he didn’t really remember. For him it was like you weren’t there at one point and by the time you were, you were thicker than thieves. It was a difficult time for him. He had just lost both of his parents, and was moving in with his Aunt Sunny and his Uncle Jinki, who were barely out of college at the time. He’d had to move to a new school and basically restart his entire life. You were the first sense of stability in his life for months.
Your mom lived next to his aunt and uncle. So naturally, you went to the same school and went on the same bus. And somewhere along the way, you two clicked. You’d introduced him to Renjun, Jaemin and Donghyuck. You were there to comfort him whenever he got pushed off the slide by San or Wooyoung.
He was there for you when your stepdad and stepbrother moved in when you were nine and you weren’t sure how to deal with it. He was there when your mom died when you were thirteen. He’d introduced you and your friends to Mark, Chenle and Jisung.
And you were there when his Uncle Jinki got killed when he was fifteen. And because fate had an especially cruel sense of irony, it had happened on a Tuesday. You didn’t know, but at the time, he had just gotten his powers. Your comfort and words unknowingly had a secondary effect: he made the decision to use them for good, and… well. The rest was history.
Can we just talk? Can we just talk?
Talk about where we're goin'
Before we get lost, lend me your thoughts
Can't get what we want without knowin'
Just like when he met you, he didn’t recall an exact moment where he realized he’d fallen in love with you. He knew there was a world where he loved you, but wasn’t in love with you. And he knew that there was a world here he’d fallen in love with you—he was living in that world now. He realized he was living in that world maybe when he was sixteen, and had been stuck in it ever since.
You were it for him. He’d had crushes before. But never something like this, where he was so aware of your presence around him. It wasn’t the way he was hyper aware of someone like San, or like Yunho or Jongho. It wasn’t out of anxiety or fear, where a shift in mood activated his fight or flight. He was aware of you in a way that only people who truly know each other do, where he could pick up on subtle changes in your behavior, but not out of fear. Rather, out of a desire to take care of you and to not have you worry about anything.
I've never felt like this before
I apologize if I'm movin' too far
Can we just talk? Can we just talk?
Figure out where we're goin'...
As the train rolled into the station that was a fifteen minute walk from Park Tower, Jeno put away his headphones and took a deep breath.
The “Jeno Tingle” as his Aunt Sunny called it—Jeno hated the term—had taken him a few years to gain control of. And while he could never truly turn it off, he could at least tune it out enough to be more at ease. The only time he did so was at school or when he was studying, just because he wanted to feel normal, and because being aware of everything going on around him really messed with his concentration.
Jaemin didn’t understand. “If I was able to tell whenever Seonghwa was behind me because he wanted to scare me into doing his chemistry homework, I’d never turn that shit off,” He’d said once. But truthfully, Jeno didn’t really care. Because while yes, he was still slightly scared of the “hateful eight”, he knew damn well that if things got to be too much, he could kick their asses if he wanted to.
It was his friends he worried about. He couldn’t be around them 24/7. You, not so much. He knew you knew how to fight. Even worse, he knew that San had the hots for you so you were off limits to the rest of them, be it bullying or flirting. But for everyone else… Well. He couldn’t hover over them like some guardian angel.
Now that the “Jeno Tingle” was on, it allowed him to sense everyone within a certain range around him. He could zero in on certain sounds with ease, and his reflexes became heightened. Halfway on his walk up Park Avenue, he jumped away from a chihuahua on its leash a second before it started barking at him.
When he entered the first floor lobby of the Park Building, he scoured the crowd of employees and visitors until he landed on one familiar face.
He'd met Doyoung about a year after his dad started dating your mom. Things between your parents were starting to get serious, and Doyoung was four years older than you were. When they moved into your house, Doyoung as your new stepbrother became the de facto chaperone and babysitter. If you wanted to go to the mall with Jeno, he had to take you. Every time you dragged Jeno to the movies, Doyoung had to go also.
To an extent, it wasn't that bad. Doyoung was cool, and he was smart—he was the one who got Jeno interested in computers and chemistry. He graduated high school at 16, and finished his bachelor's degree at 19. He'd also interned at Park Industries, and secured a job there almost immediately after college.
To an extent, he was the whole reason Mr. Park knew who he was, because of one incident. It was relatively soon after he started the whole vigilante thing. Jeno, still figuring out how to maneuver on the webs that shot out of his wrists, had accidentally crashed into your backyard late at night, when only Doyoung was awake. He was standing in the back door while he was waiting for his dog to finish peeing.
Initially, the older boy had freaked out, thinking that it was a burglar or something. When he yelled out that his dad was a cop and was asleep in the house, Jeno panicked, and pulled off his mask, holding up his hands.
“Woah, woahwoahwoah! Doyoung! It’s me, it’s me!”
Doyoung’s eyes had widened to the size of saucers, paying no mind to the dog as it sauntered up to Jeno, before turning onto its back in a request for belly rubs.
"You're the spider guy everyone's been talking about!?"
"Spider man," Jeno had answered, voice cracking as he dusted himself off. He cringed at the sound of his voice. "...and yes."
Of course, his cover was blown, and he'd begged Doyoung not to tell anyone, especially not you. And while Doyoung had promised not to tell you, it didn't stop him from telling his boss.
That had been almost three years ago now. The rest was history, and after that Jeno didn’t have to run around in bright red sweatpants and dollar store swimming goggles. Now, he had a nanotech suit that allowed him to activate protocols of the suit through voice commands using something top-secret Mr. Park called D.R.E.A.M technology. Direct Response Engaged As Machine—yeah, Jeno didn’t get it either.
Doyoung offered Jeno a smile as he escorted Jeno past security, showing them his employee clearance pass. "Hey. How have you been?"
Jeno shrugged, recounting his day in minor detail as he was led into an elevator labeled authorized personnel only.
This elevator only went up to the 35th floor, seeing as everything past that was only cleared for a certain list of people approved by Mr. Park and his security team, and everything past the 90th floor were Mr. Park's private living quarters.
Now, as Doyoung led him to another elevator to head up to the 85th floor, which was always where Jeno got to meet with Mr. Park—which wasn't often, maybe once or twice a year—he wondered where he would be if he hadn’t surprised Doyoung that night. He would probably still be using those ugly red sweatpants as part of his disguise.
"How's Y/N?" Doyoung asked.
"Oh, she seems okay. That guy who hates me keeps coming onto her though. He's a huge douchebag."
Doyoung frowned. "He's not harassing her, is he? Because if he is—"
"He just won't stop flirting, even though she clearly isn't interested," Jeno said bitterly, "He isn't physical or anything. Trust me, it wouldn't end well for him if he was."
Doyoung wasn't quite sure how to respond to the younger boy's dark tone. He looked down, clearing his throat awkwardly.
“So… how’s the apartment?” Jeno asked. Doyoung perked up instantly.
“Oh, now that Taeyong’s moved in and did his interior design thing, it looks great. He’s really done a great job at it.”
“When am I gonna meet this guy? He sounds cool.”
“He’s really cool,” Doyoung hummed, cheeks heating up. “Things are getting really serious.”
Jeno smiled at how flustered Doyoung, who was normally so level headed and calm, became at the mention of his boyfriend.
“You guys sound like a really good couple,” He said. Doyoung chuckled, waving his hand. “Oh, well—”
The elevator dinged, and Doyoung sighed. “I’ll tell you later. C’mon.”
The hallway it opened up to was lined with pictures of the company's history, starting from pictures of black and white of people in vintage clothing, to pictures in sepia tones to finally pictures of the current CEO at locations around the world: Chanyeol Park.
Jeno walked behind Doyoung as he led him down the hallway, before stopping in front of a door, and a friendly looking man in a suit.
Junmyeon was a part of Chanyeol’s Security and Intelligence team, and often sat in on these meetings with Jeno. The chain of contact also included him. If Jeno couldn’t contact Doyoung (which rarely happened), he’d contact Junmyeon. And if he couldn’t contact either of them, or it was an emergency, only then could he contact Chanyeol. So far, that had only happened once.
"Hey, Junmyeon," Doyoung said, "Mr. Park's 4:30 is here."
Junmyeon nodded, before smiling at Jeno and giving him a wave. "Hey, kid."
Jeno offered an awkward grin. "Hi, Mr. Kim."
Junmyeon rolled his eyes sarcastically. "Kid, you're making me feel ancient. I've told you a million times, just call me Junmyeon."
Jeno shuffled awkwardly, before nodding at the older man, watching as he pressed a button on his earpiece. "Hey, Yeol. Jeno's here."
The muffled response was barely heard, but Jeno automatically understood what Mr. Park said. Junmyeon turned to open the door, and let the pair inside. The “office”—if it could even be called that—opened up to more of a lounge, than anything. A wall of glass overlooked the Manhattan skyline, but Jeno knew that from the outside it looked only like a wall, due to camouflage technology developed by Mr. Park himself. As Doyoung and Junmyeon stayed back, closer to the door, Jeno took a few steps toward the man in question.
Chanyeol was standing a few feet in front of the glass window, working on a holographic model of a new piece of tech. His face was turned downward in a concentrated frown. He barely spared the teenager a glance as he said fondly, “Hey, kid.”
Jeno was used to this. Chanyeol wasn’t cold per se, but he wasn’t warm at all. He knew that Chanyeol cared about him, even if he didn’t really show it in a conventional way. Chanyeol was a very… eccentric man, so he had his own way of saying and doing things.
“Hi, Mr. Park. Um… you wanted to talk to me?”
“Yep! Needed some help from the friendly neighborhood Spiderman… A little birdie told me about something going on in Queens.”
“Queens?” Jeno asked, gripping the straps of his backpack. “You mean, other than the usual stuff?”
“Other than the usual stuff,” Chanyeol repeated, nodding. With a wave of his hand, the hologram disappeared, and another one appeared in its place. This time, instead of a 3D model, a few pictures and another, smaller 3D model appeared. Chanyeol turned to face him, frown deepening. He pointed at the model—a long, shiny oval-shaped purple stone. It reminded Jeno of an amethyst, but instead of turning white at the base, it turned to an iridescent jade tone. “You know what this is, right?”
Jeno nodded, remembering seeing the rocks all over the news when he was a kid. “That’s… that’s a Chitauri stone. From the invasion a few years back.”
Chanyeol nodded, standing up straight. “These stones have the potential to power weapons with no need to recharge, or change them out. They’re an infinite, extremely strong power source, Jeno, and in the wrong hands can be very dangerous.”
Jeno took a deep breath, feeling his stomach sink slowly. Chanyeol sighed. “Cleanup of the city after the invasion was long, and difficult, and obviously the government and the company weren’t able to get everything. It caused a black market to pop up. Now, the NYPD has been investigating it for years, but they have their limits… that’s where you come in.”
“M-me, Mr. Park?”
Chanyeol gave him a crooked, reassuring smile. He pointed at one of the pictures, which was of a man who most likely didn’t know he was photographed. He was walking somewhere, face looking angry and stern.
“You don’t know who this is, right?”
Jeno shook his head, and Chanyeol turned his head to nod at Junmyeon. “You’re up, tough guy.”
Junmyeon huffed, before walking up to Jeno. He put his hand on Jeno’s shoulder as if he could tell that he was growing anxious.
“Jeno, that’s Henry Duke. From what we understand on the intel team, he’s one of the cornerstones of the alien tech black market. He’s one of the top dogs. From what we understand, he likes to be present for all major negotiations that his group makes. A source of ours told us that there’s going to be a negotiation on Friday night not too far away from LaGuardia. We want you to go out there and just get a feel of what’s going on.”
“Just watch them, right?” Jeno looked at Junmyeon, who patted his back reassuringly. “Just watch. Don’t engage unless you absolutely have to.”
“You can do that, right?” Chanyeol said quietly, crossing his arms. “Because if not, then it’s totally—”
“Yeah, of course I can! Friday—shit, Friday. At what time are they supposed to be meeting up?”
Junmyeon furrowed his eyebrows, before answering, “Around eight or nine.”
Jeno bit his lip, thinking about the promise he’d made to you. It would just have to wait, he supposed. Chanyeol rarely asked anything this big of him.
“Alright,” Jeno agreed, “I’ll do it.”
Chanyeol grinned, clapping his hands together.
“Perfect.”
They discussed logistics briefly after. Doyoung would be on call with Jeno, his custom made suit allowing them to communicate, letting Doyoung see everything Jeno was seeing via a video feed coming from the ultra thin lenses placed in the white eye sockets of the mask. Doyoung would then report to Junmyeon, who would report to Chanyeol, who would probably report to the FBI. Jeno was only to engage if absolutely necessary.
After that, he set out on patrol. He usually found some discreet place to hide his backpack, and then went all over Queens looking for trouble, quite literally. Around five thirty, he stopped a robbery in Murray Hill. Then, around seven, he stopped a man from stealing a woman’s purse in Elmhurst. Nothing too much.
Around eight, he finally headed home, this time dressed normally, using the train and not web fluid. He walked home, tired, knowing that he’d immediately have to do that cursed AP calc homework. When he got home, he opened his backpack pocket to look for his keys, rummaging between his notebooks and other things.
Shuffling through his stuff, he furrowed his eyebrows as he couldn’t find them. Thinking back, he remembered this morning, when he’d left in a rush… and had very obviously left his keys on his desk.
“Shit,” He muttered to himself. He rubbed his eyes tiredly, remembering that Aunt Sunny had said she’d be working overtime tonight. He could very easily sneak in through his window, but he was pretty sure he’d locked it the night before, and it was too early. People’s lights were still on—anyone could see him if they just looked up, and then he would be screwed.
Huffing and zipping his backpack up, he marched up to your house, before ringing the doorbell. He shifted his weight back and forth, from his heels to the balls of his feet, until the door opened up. A familiar man with a face just like Doyoung's, but older, with graying hair and arms scarred and muscled from years of working on the police force stood in the doorway.
“Jeno?” Your dad offered him a warm smile. “Hey, kiddo, what’s up?”
“Hi, Mr. Kim,” Jeno said, smiling back. He shifted nervously. “I, um… I left my keys in my room this morning, and my aunt’s working late, so… could I… maybe wait here? Y/N’s home, right?”
The man nodded. “Of course, of course. Come in!”
Your dad had always been super friendly, even from the day Jeno had first met him. You'd told Jeno once that he was the only real father figure you'd ever had. Once everything settled after him and your mom got married, you started calling him dad altogether. And since you and Jeno were practically glued at the hip, he got along with your dad almost as well as you did.
“Okay.” Jeno stepped in and set down his backpack at the base of the coat rack next to the door, as he’d done a million times before. Jeno stepped into the living room, and sat down on the couch. He folded his hands in his lap and looked up at your dad.
"I think Y/N's in the shower, but she should be done soon. You can just wait here if you want… have you eaten anything yet?”
“Uh, I had a granola bar on the train, but that’s it.”
“We have some leftover pasta here, if you want—”
“Thanks, Mr. Kim, really! I’m fine.”
Your dad nodded, sitting down on his recliner. “So, have you started your college list, yet? Y/N said you wanted to stay here in New York.”
Jeno nodded, pushing some hair out of his face. “Well, yeah. It would make things a lot easier, I think. I might want to apply to NYU, but I think I’ll just go to community college, or something.”
Your dad shook his head. “You’re a pretty smart kid, Jeno. I think you could get into Columbia if you set out to. Plus, Chanyeol Park doesn’t give out internships to anybody. That’s your secret weapon.”
Jeno smiled. “Well, you’ve got a point.”
Your dad gave him a friendly punch on the shoulder. “Come on, trying won’t hurt!” Your dad made a face, and then rubbed his knuckles. “Have you been working out? Those muscles weren’t there the last time I did that.”
Jeno laughed, trying to think of an excuse. “Oh, a little bit? The house needed some fixing up over the summer, and I wanted to help Aunt Sunny, so…”
“Jeno?”
He turned immediately, eyes landing on you at the base of the staircase. You’d changed into an old t-shirt and pajama pants. Your hair was slightly damp. “What are you doing here?” You asked, with a curious smile.
His shoulders slumped, and he grinned sheepishly. “Terrible Tuesday strikes again. I forgot my keys.”
You grimaced. “Brutal, dude. You wanna come up?” Your eyes moved to your dad. “Or am I interrupting guy time?”
“Oh, definitely,” Jeno answered, playing along. He took a cocky tone as he rested his hands on the back of his neck. “Your dad was just telling me about how much the NYPD needs me.”
You stifled a laugh. You dad seemed to be holding back a laugh too. "Hey, you're joking, but if you keep working out like that, and if by some impossible chance, the college thing doesn't work out… We might just be able to catch Spiderman if we finally got some brain cells on the force."
"Ugh, dad," You groaned, unaware of Jeno's gut twisting, "Not again."
"Yeah, Mr. Kim," Jeno said, scratching the back of his head, "He's not that bad."
Your dad shook his head. "Look, I don't hate the guy. In all honesty, crime rates have dropped since he started doing his thing. But he thinks he's above the law, and his methods can be a bit… unorthodox sometimes. He’s been undermining us for years and his tech is state of the art. Makes me wonder about what we should do to modernize the force."
Jeno looked downward, wondering what would happen if your dad knew the truth.
"Well, I guess we may just never find out. Jeno'd make a horrible cop. He couldn't hurt a fly if you paid him a million dollars."
But you came to the rescue as you grabbed his backpack, and soon enough he was up the stairs with you, heading into your bedroom, laughing to yourselves when you heard your dad jokingly call out, "Fifteen inch distance, you two! Door stays open!"
He sat on your desk chair while you lay on your bed, limbs splaying out.
"So you left your keys."
Jeno groaned. "Don't remind me. I was in such a rush to leave, that I… I forgot. I'm so stupid."
You rolled your eyes, rolling over onto your stomach to look at him. "You're not stupid, Jen. You made an honest mistake because you were in a hurry."
Standing up, you walked over to him and leaned against the desk. "Seriously, Jeno. What's gotten into you, lately? You freak out about every little thing. It's starting to worry me."
Jeno shook his head. "I don't know," He admitted. "I think I'm just scared about how after this year, everything changes. Renjun’s headed upstate. Jaemin’s going to Boston. You want to go to LA. I think Hyuck and I are the only ones who want to stay here. I just… I don't want things to change."
Your expression turned sad as he continued. "Everyone is expecting great things from me. You're smart, Jeno. You can get into an Ivy. Or, you have a Park internship, you'll be fine. What if I don't want things to be fine? What if I want them to just stay the same?"
You stayed silent for a few moments, trying to think of what to say. Jeno was relatively level headed for someone your age, but even he had moments of doubt and panic. It made moments like these difficult. You sighed before grabbing him by the hand. Wordlessly, you tugged him over to the bed, sitting him down and leaning your head on his shoulder. He could feel the dampness in your hair seeping slowly into his shirt.
"I guess I understand what you mean," You mumbled, trying to reason with him, "But come on. You wouldn't really want everything to stay the same. You can't tell me you want to keep getting AP calc homework. And I definitely doubt that you'd want to have your ass kicked by San for the rest of your life."
Jeno looked at the floor. "You're right. But you know that's not what I mean—"
"I know," You huffed, "I'm just saying. Change… it's inevitable. The longer you fight it, the harder it is."
Jeno nodded. "This sucks."
"It does," You agreed, taking his hand in yours. "But at least we have each other's backs, y'know?"
Something of a smile appeared on his face. You were so close to him, leaning on him, stroking his knuckles with your thumb. He hoped you couldn't hear his heart pounding in his chest.
"We really do, huh?" His voice turned quiet, with a bit of a sleepy lull to it. He allowed his head to rest on yours. "You're so comfortable. Can I like, use you as a pillow for the rest of my life?"
You giggled. "I'll consider it on two conditions."
"Oh, you'll consider. How generous of you."
"Yes, I'll consider. Now, do you wanna hear my terms or not?"
Jeno raised an eyebrow. "Go ahead," He said, before putting on his best Marlon Brando voice, "Make me an offer I can't refuse."
Snorting, you lifted your head off of his. "Okay. One, you finish your calculus homework here before Sunny gets home."
He pursed his lips. "Okay, I could probably do that. What's the other one?"
"Let me drive you to school for the rest of the year."
Jeno stared at you, and you nodded, eyes wide. "Trust me, Jen. You wouldn't need to wake up so early! And plus, you can't text the guy manning the subway asking him to give you five minutes because you need to find your keys."
Jeno gnawed on the inside of his cheek. You did have a point, and to be honest, he could probably refrain from putting his feet up on your dashboard.
"Deal."
You grinned. "Awesome," You answered, before nodding towards his backpack. "Now get to work, Einstein."
The rest of the week wasn't that bad. Yes, you were absolutely batshit insane about your truck in the morning, but he soon realized he didn't really mind. Not when it allowed you both to spend some twenty extra minutes together in the mornings, and they were spent joking around and listening to your extremely varied playlist.
On the other hand, he was saddled with more and more homework, greater and greater expectations. The looming threat of Friday's mission rolled around, and it made Jeno feel like time was passing much too slowly but also way too quickly. There was so much on his mind. He had chemistry with you on Thursdays in the afternoon, which also meant that San was there. Which also meant that sometimes, his heightened senses would pick up on San dropping a tacky pick up line which made Jeno want to punch him in the jaw.
Finally, finally, Friday afternoon rolled around. As he bid you goodbye and promised to see you later, he tried to ignore the feeling in his stomach. The feeling that something was about to go very, very wrong. He went out on patrol, ready for Doyoung to set up the call and tell him where he needed to go. It didn’t help that there wasn’t a lot for him to do that day. Crime had seemed to slow down altogether.
When the time finally came, and the sun was beginning to set, Doyoung rang in at about 7, telling him the location. An old warehouse near LaGuardia airport, hidden from prying eyes. Jeno made his way to the place, avoiding security cameras Doyoung warned him about, and found a place to hide. There was a hole in the warehouse roof, which allowed him to peer right into the building without being seen. It was about thirty feet from the ground.
“Why is it always old, abandoned warehouses?” Jeno grumbled. He heard Doyoung laugh quietly.
“Beats me,” Doyoung sighed.
And so they waited. Jeno wondered vaguely if you were still working. He wasn’t sure. They made time talking quietly, until a black SUV rolled into the warehouse. “Woah, Doyoung,” He murmured, “Hold up.”
Jeno leaned forward, but quickly realized he probably wouldn’t be able to hear what was being said. “D.R.E.A.M, activate Heightened Intelligence Protocol.”
Activating Heightened Intelligence Protocol.
The protocol allowed Jeno to use the lenses over his eyes to zoom in on specific targets, as well as use a microphone embedded in the suit to pick up audio from far away and feed it directly into his ears.
He watched as three figures got out of the car, a fourth remaining in the driver’s seat. The trio stood in front of the car, and Jeno recognized the man in the middle as the man Junmyeon had been talking about.
“Alright, there’s Henry Duke,” He said, “The one in the middle.”
“Got it,” Doyoung replied, sounding satisfied. “Now all we have to do is wait for the other party.”
“Did Junmyeon’s sources say anything about who it would be?”
“No. They weren’t able to find that out. Guess we’ll just have to wait and see.”
Jeno’s eyes never left the man. “Do you think it’s something international?”
Doyoung sighed. “I’m not sure. If it is international, then you need to be even more careful.”
“Got it. I think—Wait, here they come.”
A second vehicle, this one another black SUV, rolled up not too far away from the first car. The lights turned off and the engine sputtered to a stop, and four men stepped out of the vehicle.
Jeno’s stomach dropped, and of its own accord, his mouth let loose a quiet, “What the fuck,” as he registered the person leading them.
“What?” Doyoung asked, before realizing what—who—he was looking at. “...Is that my dad?”
“I think it is,” Jeno whispered, fingertips suddenly numb. Who was he kidding? They both knew who it was.
“So,” One of the men next to your dad said, “You show us yours, we’ll show you ours?”
Henry Duke clapped his hands together with an impish grin. “I suppose. Reagan, get the case.”
One of the two men standing beside him started off toward the trunk of the car. “It caught me off guard when I heard that the force wanted to purchase these. Almost made me wonder if this was your attempt at a sting operation.”
“What made you change your mind?” Your dad asked. Jeno swallowed at how cold he sounded. This wasn’t your dad, and it didn’t seem like Officer Kim either. This was someone Jeno had never met before.
“Honestly, Kim?” Duke raised an eyebrow, shrugging. “It was you. Your cooperativeness and willing to feed us information, as well as your… insurance agreement. And besides, you made a very interesting point when you said that the Avengers Initiative and Park’s alum Spiderman is ruining the way the law operates around here. That type of bitterness… hard to fake.”
Your dad huffed. “We’re fucking tired of it.”
The man leaning against the car your dad had stepped out of scoffed. “If this helps us catch the little asshole, then so be it.”
Jeno frowned. “I’m not little—”
“Jeno, shut up!” Doyoung snapped.
“—Alright, then.” The man holding the briefcase—Reagan—clicked it open, as if it were a prize reveal on The Price is Right. Five guns, all modified to hold glowing Chitauri stones were placed carefully together side by side.
“You know the basics. No radiation. Keep it away from security scanners and x-rays. They will blow up. And second of all, these are at half the price, along with the promise from the chief of police that my business won’t be touched, and will only be distributed to officers in on the operation and have agreed to turn off their body cameras when they decide to use these weapons. Should this not be a sting operation, we’ll be back here to negotiate.”
Jeno leaned forward, watching anxiously.
“Yes, sir,” Your dad answered, nodding. “We have the money here.”
“Hand it over, then.”
That was when Jeno made his mistake. He leaned forward too much, and proceeded to fall right through the hole, bringing down some scraps of the roof with him. As he tumbled through the air, the zoom on his lenses caused him to grow dizzy as he had no idea what he was looking at. He caught himself before he could fall, clumsily commanding D.R.E.A.M to go back to turn off the current protocol. His vision returned to normal, and he swung up onto a rafter holding the warehouse up.
“So, we have company.” Duke didn’t sound as amused as he had before. His face turned into a sneer. “Get him.”
In less than a second, before Jeno could say anything, five guns were pointed directly at him. He managed to swing away before any bullets could hit him.
“Jeno, get out of there now,” Doyoung ordered.
“What about the guns?” Jeno asked, swinging to another rafter. “They know I’m here, I might as well get them before I go—”
“No! Jeno, listen to what I’m telling you. You’ve done more than enough, and you need to let it g—”
Your dad aimed, and a bullet fired right at Jeno’s chest. For a second, he forgot that the chest area of the suit was lined with bulletproof material. While it didn’t shoot into his chest, it ricocheted right off him, and since he was in motion, it somehow caused the bullet to bounce back in the direction in which it came.
The wind was knocked out of Jeno, but it was nothing compared to watching the bullet land in the middle of your father’s chest. On the other line, he heard Doyoung yell, followed by the sound of something falling. And then, as he made his way back towards the hole he’d fallen out of, he couldn’t rip his eyes away from the body as it crumpled to the ground.
The others around him scrambled to get back into their respective cars. Jeno was back on the roof now, trying not to hyperventilate. “I’m sorry,” He gasped, “Do—Doyoung, I-I’m sorry, I didn’t want to—”
“Jeno, you need to get out of there, now,” Doyoung said, voice raspy. “GO!”
So he did, and Doyoung cut off the call once he was out of the vicinity. Jeno didn’t blame him. He swung across buildings, feeling numb as he looked for the apartment complex roof where he’d decided to hide his backpack.
When he finally did, he changed in a hurry, before slumping against the wall and forcing himself to take deep breaths.
Doyoung’s dad—your dad—was dead. And it was all his fault.
He cried on the way down the staircase. He cried on his way to the subway. The entire time, he ignored people’s stares. Suddenly everything was too loud, and if he met someone in the eyes he’d just about break down in the middle of the station.
As he got onto the train, Jeno thought about all of the things your dad had done for you, and for Jeno. All the times he'd taken you both to Coney Island in the summer when you were younger. The year Pokemon Go came out he took the both of you driving around in his car so you and Jeno could catch as many Pokemon as you could.
He’d formally adopted you when you were thirteen. You were his daughter in nearly every sense of the word, regardless of blood. And now he was dead, because of a stupid mistake that Jeno had made.
What would you say if you knew? He didn’t want to know. Checking the time on his phone, he saw he’d gotten a message from you just three minutes ago.
[8:36 PM]
y/n: lemme know when ur outside!! :)
“Fuck,” He murmured, wiping his eyes. He knew he needed to stop crying before he got to your house, and he had about ten minutes before he got to his stop, and then another five minute walk to the neighborhood. He focused on taking deep breaths and taking long swigs from his water bottle in the meantime, trying to tune out the sound of other people talking and the sound of the train on the rails.
The walk was the longest five minute walk he’d ever taken. The flashing lights of convenience stores did nothing to calm him down. As the stores in his peripheral vision began transitioning into suburban homes, he felt his heart speed up again. The constant movement as he walked meant he missed his phone vibrating in his backpack as you rang his number.
After what seemed like an eternity, two familiar houses came into his line of vision, and his shoulders slumped as he spotted you on your porch, looking small and teary, curled up into a little ball. In one hand, you were clutching your phone.
His stomach twisted as he put on a confused tone, even though he knew damn well that you knew. “...Y/N?”
You stood up, running to him and burying yourself into his chest, crumpling into his arms. You would have fell over if Jeno hadn’t held both of you up.
“Jeno,” You sobbed, “You’re n-not go-onna believe it.”
He brought a hand up to caress your hair, holding back tears of his own as he asked a question he already knew the answer to.
“Y/N, what happened?”
taglist: @decembermoonskz @itsapapisongo @lenaluvs @crescentjen
#kwritersworldnet#nct angst#nct x reader#jeno x reader#jeno angst#jeno fluff#nct au#jeno au#kpop scenarios#kpop angst#kpop imagines#nct dream x reader#lee jeno x reader#my writing
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Today is the 1 year AO3 anniversary of Slow Show by @mia-ugly. I am beyond grateful that this experience (and it is an experience) has existed in my life for a year and felt it needed commemorating. 🎂
I’m not a creator but I made this playlist for me, so I could take the fic with me, have it with my eyes closed, while driving -- you get it. Today seems like an appropriate day to share it.
It’s a. It’s a lot. Excessive you might even say. Tumblr will only give you the first 100 songs in this, so, Spotify will fulfill you (or overwhelm you). If you hit my username on the playlist, there are separate playlists for each chapter.
This is also on Apple Music, if that’s your jam, just hit me up and I’ll send you the link.
🎉 Happy Slow Show Day!! 🎉
13 pages of track-lists and excerpts below the cut. Godspeed! 💙
Key:
Songs from Mia’s soundtrack
Songs from the Fic
.
--Title--
Slow Show – The National
_
--Prequel--
Loverman – Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
Devils – Say Hi
_
--Chapter 1--
Here I Go Again – Whitesnake
_
bad guy – Billie Eilish
-trash a set and shag your husband
_
Something About You (ODESZA Remix) – Hayden James
-what it would take for Avery Fell to let his guard down
_
A Little Wicked – Valerie Broussard
-The handkerchief in his hand is now stained purple
_
You Light Me Up In the Dark – The Hounds Below
-His hair catches the light like a halo, making him look more of an angel than ever.
_
Lazarus – David Bowie
-This could be a problem
_
--Chapter 2--
Unsteady – X Ambassadors
-much easier than talking about the way his heartbeat is still racing
_
Heart of a Dog – The Kills
-Call me darling again.
_
The Twilight Hour - Still Corners
-Looked across the set and thought, Ah fuck me. I’m in love with him.
_
God’s Mistake – Tears for Fears
-Avery: He’s closed his eyes again, mouth going flat and still.
_
Lounge Act – Nirvana
-Tell her all the terrible things I want to do to her husband
_
Transatlanticism – Death Cab for Cutie
-There’s a strange urgency tonight, though, and Crowley can guess why.
_
Do I Wanna Know? – Arctic Monkeys
-What could it hurt?
_
Clueless – The Marias
-“Better - yeah. ‘S late.”
_
Motel – Meg Myers
-The hotel room is another disaster
_
--Chapter 3--
Alone in a Room – Asking Alexandria
-“I’m having a moment here!”
_
Since You’ve Been Around – Rosie Thomas
-makes Crowley feel like he can breathe again
_
Home Again – The Disco Biscuits
-It’s starting to feel like home again
_
Every Other Freckle – alt-J
-Perfect. Ridiculous and impossible and perfect.
_
Something For the Longing – The Orchids
_
As Far As I Can See – Phantogram
-it’s been a really, really long time
_
Sinister Kid – The Black Keys
-“Mothering buggering shit-”
_
All These Things That I’ve Done – The Killers
-Crowley fists one of his hands against his forehead, shuts his eyes tightly.
_
--Chapter 4--
I Like Me Better – Lauv
-I liked the outline of your face under the stagelights
_
I Do This for You (ft. Marlene) – Giorgio Moroder
-“Let me see what I can do. About your precious Hamlet.”
_
The Longing – Imelda May
-Avery POV: “Look at him like - like - you can’t let him see the way you look at him.”
_
Just a Man – Los Lobos
-Avery POV: like he’s being led into battle and not onto a set to do the job he loves
_
World In My Eyes – Depeche Mode
-wants to make that bastard purr
_
Tired (ft. Gavin James) – Alan Walker
-Let me be a magpie for you
_
Blow My Mind – The Benjamin Gate
-Avery: “I know you now.”
_
Breathe You in My Dreams – Trixie Whitley
-Crowley’s seen that expression on Avery’s face in his dreams
_
Love Me Like That (ft. Carly Rae Jepsen) – The Knocks
-What have I done to - oh. Oh. Right.
_
Like Real People Do - Hozier
-“Sure, angel, what- whatever.”
_
Clearly – Grace VanderWaal
-Crowley waits for the rest of the night.
_
Gwendel – PeelsDeen
-Az sits in the back seat, away from Crowley. Alone.
_
Now I’m In It – HAIM
-Avery POV: It’s a look like an open grave, a look like desire tempered with grief…
_
Flesh for Fantasy – Billy Idol
-Crowley isn’t lonely for the rest of the night
_
--Chapter 5 (Avery POV)--
Smalltown Boy – Rosborough
-1978, Hartlepool
_
Bright Horses – Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
-1986, Newcastle Upon Tyne
_
The Runner – Foals
-1991, Bristol
_
Shock To Your System – Tegan and Sara
-Tracy: “Why d’you let them?”
_
Cracking Codes – Andrew Bird
-“Forever, of course. I’ll never -”
_
Colour me In – Damien Rice
-Their fingers - just touch. Slightly.
_
I’m Not in Love – 10cc
-Less to regret by not ever speaking of it.
_
--Chapter 6--
Electric Current – Lower Dens
-“I’ll let you know when you find it.”
_
Guess I Miss(ed) You – The Daylights
-Keep talking, keep him here a little while longer.
_
Reflecting Light – Sam Phillips
-“don’t meet his eyes like that, it looks like it’s a lead-in to a kiss”
_
King of Pain – The Police
-a good reminder of the kind of life he’s got to live
_
I Wanna Get Better – The Bleachers
-and Avery’s gaze is so gentle it hurts a bit
_
Feather – X Ambassadors
-Avery: “Someone has to”
_
Darker Side - Jonny Lang
-Avery: “Oh - good Lord.”
_
Firestone (Acoustic) – Conrad Sewell
-“Will you show me?”
_
Velvet Gloves and Spit - Timber Timbre
-“Anthony - ”
_
Wrong – Depeche Mode
-Avery: “I have to go.”
_
F**k it I love you – Lana Del Rey
-“Not your fault, angel”
_
--Chapter 7--
Somebody to Love – Queen
_
Heavenly – Cigarettes After Sex
-“I fucking still.”
_
Will Do - TV on the Radio
-“You too. I’ll see you there.”
_
Monster – Colours
-No wonder Avery ran off like a thief after a heist
_
Swallow My Pride – Ramones
-“I feel fucking ill about it.”
_
I Was Wrong - The Oh Hellos
-Avery: “I’m the one who has to apologize, not you.”
_
The Lost Art of Keeping a Secret – Queens of the Stone Age
-Avery: “Please don’t tell anyone”
_
Wait for Me – Kings of Leon
-Avery: “Right now, I’m just - a bit in pieces.”
_
Don’t Stay – X Ambassadors
-“You can - stay or leave or - whatever you like.”
_
The Moth - Aimee Mann
-Avery’s eyes meet his, and then it’s like a car accident
_
Red Door – Julien Baker
-“I can - I can wait longer.”
_
Can’t Pretend - Tom Odell
-“I wasn’t apologizing for that. This morning. I won’t.”
_
Come Down to Me – Saving Jane
-Avery: “You were wonderful”
_
Secret Smile – Semisonic
-And if sometimes he catches Az watching him between takes
_
I Want More - KALEO
-Az laces both of their hands together, stares at them.
_
I’m Gonna Do My Thing – Royal Deluxe
-“So don’t tell me what will hurt me. I know what hurts.”
_
--Chapter 8--
Perfect Day – Lou Reed
_
Remember to Breathe – Sturgil Simpson
-“You can’t sit in the car all night you absolute nightmare”
_
Wild Love (Acoustic) – James Bay
-The two of them stare at each other and then both look away awkwardly.
_
Seasons – Future Islands
-finally, fucking finally, he’s exactly where he wants to be
_
Closer – Tegan and Sara
-Avery: “if you like”
_
I Want All of You – The Verve Pipe
-“If you think I can survive this without looking at you -”
_
Use Me – Miguel
-whatever he sees in Crowley’s face makes him come to some sort of decision
_
So Much Love – Depeche Mode
-Love, he said love
_
Don’t Be Scared, I Love You – Bill Ryder-Jones
-I know you, Crowley wants to say, but doesn’t.
_
Become My Dream – Silya & The Sailors
-“Even if - anything, angel.”
_
I Belong In Your Arms – Chairlift
-For nearly two weeks it goes like this.
_
Faster - Matt Nathanson
-“You’re going to fucking kill me, angel -”
_
Come Together (feat. Sivu) – LAUREL
-In case you think they don’t wake up together
_
The High – Kelela
-Az has pulled a stool over to the edge of the tub
_
Just in Time – Valerie June
-Then Az’s hand is on his shoulder, turning him around.
_
I Can’t Take It – Tegan and Sara
-Avery: “Don’t rush, just - like this.”
_
Like This – Jake Scott
-Avery murmurs and it takes Crowley back to their first kiss
_
Terrible Love – The National
-Flinches away from him.
_
Help You Out - Emarosa
-And he nods.
_
--Chapter 9--
I Remember You – Ramones
-The first person Crowley loved was a liar.
_
Brighter Skies - Race Banyon
-As if they were cut with a jigsaw, as if they were meant to fit.
_
Not Tonight – Tegan and Sara
-When they reach the edge of the city, his hand slides out of Crowley’s.
_
As Sure as I Am – Crowded House
-So Crowley kisses him.
_
A Promise – Miriam Makeba
-And for awhile, he believed her.
_
Mistaken for Strangers – The National
-They’re only two small words, but they still make Crowley’s teeth ache.
_
Hey, That’s No Way To Say Goodbye – Leonard Cohen
-“Good-“ Swallow, speak, leave.
_
The Fear – Pulp
-Crowley should have been smarter this time. He really should have been.
_
Take Me – Leela James
-“I’d like you to close your blinds.”
_
Whenever You Want It – Clare Maguire
-“What do we do now?”
_
At My Weakest – James Arthur
-“It will be.”
_
Komm zurück - Fotos
-For years and years and years, nothing did.
_
Come on Get Higher – Matt Nathanson
-their feet sliding in the tub
_
Lay Down – Sarah Proctor
-I want to wake up with you.
_
Sort Of - Ingrid Michaelson
-Why is my heart breaking?
_
Fairytale of New York – The Pogues
-Just pump that shit straight into his veins.
_
What Are You Doing New Year’s Eve? – Ella Fitzgerald
-Avery: “What do you think?”
_
We’re Gonna Have A Real Good Time Together – The Velvet Underground
-“You want to grab dinner somewhere?”
_
Hiding – IAN SWEET
-Crowley stops walking. Looks at Az in the darkness.
_
Romance Dawn – Radkey
-A slice of light cuts through the darkness.
_
Crown of Love – Arcade Fire
-Crowley feels like the world has never been darker, and his heart will never stop beating
_
Devil’s Backbone – The Civil Wars
-He thought he was ready for this conversation, but at the sight of Az’s face, his throat has gotten too tight to speak.
_
Sinners – Lauren Aquilina
-“If this all goes down in flames, if it all falls apart - we can go off together.”
_
Please Forgive Me (Song of the Crow) – William Fitzsimmons
-Avery: “It’s over. I’m - I’m so sorry.”
_
Start a War – The National
-He twitches and trips and yet somehow manages to walk away without falling over.
_
Broken – Daley
-And this soft heartache was somehow the sharpest of them all.
_
--Chapter 10 (Avery POV)--
Daily Battles - Thom Yorke & Flea
-He tries to remember these things - but the background is still a chorus of beeping machines. There’s nowhere he can be but here.
_
Everybody Wants You - Red Hearse
-Go out and surround himself with people much more interesting and available than Avery. Better people, certainly.
_
A Thin Line – Blackchords
-But still - roads not taken, and other fun middle-aged spirals.
_
My Own Soul’s Warning - The Killers
-When was the last time someone asked Avery that? When was the last time he asked himself?
_
Who Am I - NEEDTOBREATHE
-I miss you. There. It didn’t hurt as much as he thought it would.
_
Wait for Me - Jack Curley
-What he wants to say is ‘don’t find someone else. Not yet. You and your black leather and your cut-glass profile: you’re gorgeous and God knows other people want you.’
_
Coming & Going – Amaal
-“Two ships passing in the night,” he says quietly. Then he takes a swallow of wine, lets it roll down his throat. “If you were here -”
_
Iron - Woodkid
-Crowley leaves him there, pressed against the wet brick wall. Crowley leaves him there. Crowley steps between Avery and a camera, and then leaves him.
_
The Greatest Bastard - Damien Rice
-He can’t be the person that kicks Crowley into the ashes again. He can’t hurt him like this, and Avery’s going to hurt him - he already has.
_
No Right to Love You – Rhys Lewis
-He deserves someone like - like Daniel. Deserves to be loved in the daylight.
_
If It’s Hurting You - Robbie Williams
-Time is a tricky business when you’re dying slowly; it skips like a flat stone on a quiet lake.
_
Happy For You – Gayle
-But surely - surely he’s allowed just this much. Just one message, just so Crowley knows that - that he’s happy for him. That Avery is so happy.
_
I See You (ICU) - Phoebe Bridgers
-When Avery sees Crowley on the red carpet, it feels like the sudden remembrance of a lovely dream.
_
Once In My Life - The Decemberists
-Crowley: “I know there’ve been some - hard times. That’s - that is what it is. But for me - it’s been a privilege. A dream. So.” He nods and nods and nods again. “Thank you.”
_
Coming Down - Dum Dum Girls
-Tracy: “But I wasn’t. I was hurting you. This whole time, Az.” She shakes her head, wiping frantically at tears that won’t stop falling. “He loves you.”
_
I Don’t Know Anything – Little Voice Cast
-He’s afraid of finding out that all this time - he was doing the wrong thing anyway. He’s afraid that Anthony Crowley will never talk to him again.
_
Sweet Sour - Band of Skulls
-"And you're fired"
_
Heart Attack - Devarrow
-The sun is still rising when Avery gets out of the car, closes the door behind him. Though some of the roads have changed, his feet still know the way down to the docks of his youth. He was never a sailor, but the shoreline is familiar as a childhood sweetheart, as a long lost love.
_
Landslide - Robyn Sherwell
-He’s alone, and he’s nearly fifty years old. He could get on a ship, he could throw himself into the sea. There’s no one holding him back anymore.
_
All I Can - Sharon van Etten
-And he knows. He knows.
_
--Chapter 11--
Salvation - The Strumbellas
- there’s a moment where he swears he sees a young idiot in black standing in the crowd. Red hair gelled up into spikes, black t-shirt full of holes and safety pins. A young man who has no idea how much he’s about to lose.
_
Soldier - Fleurie
-And he’s still fucking here.
_
Easier – Mansionair
-Then he gets the fuck above ground and he calls Beez (oh great, they’re his emotional-support-asshole now. That’s healthy).
_
Deep End – Holly Humberstone
-“I brought you cheese,” Beez says, and Crowley starts crying.
_
Falling Short – Lapsley
-For the next few days, he lets his stupid body do what it needs to do to keep himself upright.
_
Chariot (Stripped Version) - Gavin DeGraw
-Shit, this was a bad bad idea.
_
Quiet Light - The National
-There’s a text from Az later that night, and his name on Crowley’s phone makes him feel like jumping off a cliff.
_
All That We Had is Lost - Postiljonen
-He’s not allowed to be in love with that man anymore. Wasn’t ever, really.
_
Heal - Tom Odell
-It makes a rather hysterical laugh well out of his throat. Anthony fucking Crowley. You are still alive.
_
Let Me Go - HAIM
-Crowley tries to ignore the soft, injured expression on the other man’s face as he turns away.
_
A Beginning Song - The Decemberists
-“What’s more frightening than having a choice?”
_
The Spark - William Prince
-And he likes to think he would have just burned the world to ashes with the power of his love, would have said fuck everyone, I choose you – but who knows.
_
Sharp Scratch - The Slow Show
-So stupid, I know, and I’m - sorry, I still love you and I’m tryin’ to stop and I will I just - needed to tell you that. I’ll be fine. You’ll be fine. Just miss you.
_
Beautiful & Brutal – Plested
-Crowley moves without thinking. Falls like a stagelight, glass everywhere. He walks forward and is kissing Az before the door has even been pulled shut.
_
Bad Chemistry - Fake Shark
-“I’ve been - thinking about this -” Az says between darts of his tongue against Crowley’s overheated skin.
_
All We Do – Oh Wonder
-“But I - I love you. And I can’t - hide. It hurts too much.”
_
Broken Strings - James Morrison (ft Nelly Furtado)
-“I wouldn’t survive it. That way it was. I wouldn’t.”
_
Stole the Show – Parson James
-But even on their distant shores, Crowley and Az don’t stop looking at each other. It feels like an ending. Maybe it is one. Not a happy ending, but not a bad one either.
_
Level Up - Vienna Teng
-excerpt from Anthony Crowley: Out of the shadows, under the spotlight
_
The Wire (Alternate Version) – Patrick Droney
-Avery: “I’m rather in - in love with you.”
_
Sweet Thing - Van Morrison
-“You can stay at my place. If you like.”
_
Falling in Love - Cigarettes After Sex
-“I love you. I’ve missed you, and I love you, and I want you -”
_
Stay - Cat Power
-He watches the slow flicker of awareness in Avery’s blue eyes. The curve of his mouth into a shade of smile that Crowley’s never seen before.
_
Freedom - George Michael
-“To the world.”
_
--Chapter 12--
Banks - NEEDTOBREATHE
-What he wasn’t used to was bringing someone else down with him, and jail would be a bloody blessing compared to seeing Az grey-faced and staring out windows, or that one time Crowley’s pretty sure the man was crying in the bathroom, trying to swallow down the sound so that Crowley didn’t notice (he clenches his hands into fists just thinking about it).
_
Black Mambo - Glass Animals
-“It’ll have to be.” Crowley drops to his knees. “There’s a lot of ground to cover.”
_
Florets - Grace VanderWaal
-Crowley can let his fingers curl against Az’s palm, can watch him open as a flame, not caring who notices.
_
Sight of the Sun - fun.
-That this longing won’t destroy him, and won’t destroy Az either. It’s not a shovel for burying Crowley alive - it’s a spade for planting things.
_
Pale Blue Eyes - The Velvet Underground
-Az drops his hand onto Crowley’s knee (“What is this song? I rather like it.”).
_
Only Everything (Acoustic) – Quinn Lewis
-“It’s nice to have someone make it for you, right? Sometimes,” Crowley says softly, too much love in his throat and in his hands. It’s hard to breathe around it, especially when Avery is looking at him.
_
The Book of Love - The Magnetic Fields
-“You bought a cottage for us.” Crowley is an animal being taught to speak through scraps of meat and electric shocks. “This cottage.”
_
Say You’ll Be Mine – Christopher Cross
-Avery: “But if you wanted -” Fuck, there are tears in Avery’s eyes. “If you want. I’d like to call you my husband. I’d like to say ‘let me ask my husband,’ or ‘I brought my husband with me’ or ‘my husband won a BAFTA’.”
_
Anthem - Leonard Cohen
-Their broken edges match. And somehow, the light still shines through.
_
Precious Love – James Morrison
-When the light catches them both, they shine. And so do you. So do we.
_
Good Man (acoustic) - Josh Ritter
_
_
If you made it this far...wow, hi hello. So, this is ours and my musical exposure is limited, if you’ve got a better song for an excerpt, feel free to shoot it over, more than happy for this to be a living changeable thing. 🤡
#slow show#slow show playlist#tumblr html code after read more is some bullshit#it's fic for your ears
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20 Questions: Answers for Sadhbh
@happysadhbh
Honestly, I have no idea what she would answer for like half of these but like I’m going to try to think like Sadhbh and we’ll see how I fucking do. But like the ones I really don’t know well I’m going to have fun with
Who is your celebrity crush? WE HAVEN’T TALKED ABOUT THIS??? I don’t know the only Irish celebrity I can think of off the top of my head that’s sexy enough to be crush worthy is Evanna Lynch
What is your favorite color? Blue
What are 2 of your favorite hobbies? Reading
What do you do for a living/what is your occupation? Teacher
Fill in the blank: “I am one of the world’s best ____” Singers
Fill in the blank: “I am one of the world’s worst ____” Customers (though not a Karen)
It’s your night to pick a movie. Will you pick something action-packed, laugh out loud funny, or something in the family-feelgood genre? Definitely laugh out loud funny, have you met her?
About what range is the number of shoe pairs you own: around 10, 20-30, 40-50, or 60+? 60+
When it comes to fashion, are you more about wearing what looks good or wearing what feels comfortable? Looks good - don’t think I haven’t noticed that all her clothes are designer (like who wears designer clothes on a show like this though like that just feels like she’s throwing away money)
About how long does it usually take you to get ready to go out: 10 minutes, 20 minutes, 1 hour, or >1 hour? 1 hour. I don’t know anyone who has that many fancy clothes who doesn’t take at least an hour.
What cuisine is your favorite? Irish? Is that even a cuisine? It just feels right.
Are you almost always early, late, or on time to events? Early
What is your favorite season in the year? Spring
Which metal do you prefer: gold, silver or rose gold? Gut is saying rose gold. Trusting my gut.
Are you more of a homebody or are you full of wanderlust? Wanderlust. Again. Have you met her?
Where do you rank on the competitive scale: not at all, only for fun things, or competitive about most things? Not at all
Are you more logical and methodical (left brained) or creative and artistic (right brained)? Right brained
When sleeping, do you consider yourself a bed and blanket hog? Definitely seems like a blanket hog
If you could have a private music performance, what 1 band or artist would you have perform? Carly Rae Jepsen? Call Me Maybe just feels like a song that’s her vibe
Which version of shower singer are you: I don’t, I might if a song’s stuck in my head, or just about every shower is my own private concert. Every shower is a private concert.
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even if you have to cry, don't let your crown fall
a love letter to luxor’s ches elswood
Well, it’s finally time that I feel ready to post this, and while I’m aware it may be bittersweet with my upcoming departure, I hope you enjoy it nonetheless. Today I present to you a three hour Ches playlist, divided into sections and covering her entire time at Luxor, from when I first picked her up in June of 2019 all the way to now. There’s quite a few plot references, and small (and not as small) references to other muses throughout, especially when it comes to Elliot, so keep an eye out for those as well!
I’d like to thank Lex for giving me the idea to make these, and her support throughout the process because without her, these playlists wouldn’t even exist. And thank you to everyone who has gone on this journey with us, while I’m sorry I need to dip out early after this event to focus on my health, I love y’all so much.
The standard Ches tws apply (poor mental health, alcoholism, etc etc), and anything I think may be a bit abnormal / section exclusive is noted on the sections.
twist me like a key, then you open the lock | pre-luxor:
the section of time before I played Ches at Luxor, very James heavy. additional tws: Death (Sign of the Times), Toxic relationships (nothing explicit tho)
Sign of the Times (Jasmine Thompson) [ Remember everything will be alright. We can meet again somewhere, somewhere far away from here. ] // Sweet Ophelia (Zella Day) [ Singing like it's a full moon, careless now that he has you. Turns you on to the right songs, promises that you're hooked on. ] // Couple of Kids (Maggie Lindemann) [ Now I'm fallin' heavily, recklessly, trying not to lose my sensibility; but gravity, it pulls me into you. ] // Glowstick (Sofia Karlberg) [ You play me like a line-up; long con, you make me wise up. ] // Crying in the Club (Camila Cabello) [ Ain't no crying in the club, hey, hey, let the beat carry away, your tears as they fall, baby. Ain't no crying in the club, hey, hey, with a little faith, your tears turn to ecstasy. ] // Ember (Katherine McNamara) [ Reignite; you lost your grip on me, and now I blaze wild and free. ]
nobody shows up unless i'm paying, have a drink on me cheers to the failing | summer & fall 2019:
the first time I was at Luxor playing ches, from June - October 2019
7 rings (Ariana Grande) [ Been through some bad shit, I should be a sad bitch. Who woulda thought it'd turn me to a savage? ] // I'm a Mess (Bebe Rexha) [ “It's gonna be a good, good life;” that's what my therapists say. ] // OMG (Little Mix) [ Oh my gosh, I did it again. He said I broke his heart, it keeps happening. ] // Only Angel (Harry Styles) [ Couldn't take you home to mother in a skirt that short, but I think that's what I like about it. ] // LA Devotee (Panic! At The Disco) [ Drinking white wine in the blushing light, just another LA Devotee. ] // Woman Like Me (Little Mix feat. Nicki Minaj) [ I made a few mistakes, I regret it nightly. I broke a couple hearts that I wear on my sleeve. ]
all of this emptiness i've been sharing, it never comes when i want it to | winter 2019:
the period of time Ches went home to be with her family and was away from luxor
additional tws: vomiting (Habits (Stay High))
Carmen (Lana Del Rey) [ Darlin’, darlin’, doesn't have a problem lyin’ to herself ‘cause her liquor’s top shelf ] // How You Remind Me (Avril Lavigne) [ And I've been wrong, I've been down, been to the bottom of every bottle. These five words in my head scream, "Are we havin' fun yet?" ] // Playing God (Paramore) [ This is the last second chance (I'll point you to the mirror). I'm half as good as it gets (I'll point you to the mirror). I'm on both sides of the fence (I'll point you to the mirror). Without a hint of regret, I'll hold you to it ] // Habits {Stay High} (Tove Lo) [ Staying in my play pretend, where the fun ain't got no end. Oh, can't go home alone again, need someone to numb the pain. ] // Bedroom Window (The Pretty Reckless) [ As I look out of my bedroom window; is it all real or just fantasy? I have lost touch with what makes me human, I have lost touch with reality. ] // Impossible Year (Panic! At The Disco) [ There's no sunshine, this impossible year; only black days and sky grey and clouds full of fear. ]
i wouldn't say you got the best of me, i'd say you got me somewhere in between | spring 2020:
Ches’s return to Luxor, and the months following leading up to her mass text about Leo’s dad following the Lake Bash
3 O'Clock Things (AJR) [ Would you go running if you saw the real me? Maybe you'd love 'em, yeah, maybe you'd feel me. ] // Wild Heart (Bleachers) [ Well, everything has changed and now I can't tell what matters. I will find any way to your wild heart. ] // Rise (Katy Perry) [ When the fire's at my feet again and the vultures all start circling. They're whispering, “you're out of time.” But still, I rise. ] // Don't Stop Me Now (Queen) [ I'm a rocket ship on my way to Mars on a collision course. I am a satellite, I'm out of control. ] // Princesses Don't Cry (CARYS) [ Girls, so pretty and poised and soft to the touch, but God made me rough. Girls, so heavy the crown, they carry it tall, but it's weighing me down. ] // Save Rock And Roll (Fall Out Boy feat. Elton John) [ You are what you love, not who loves you. In a world full of the word 'yes', I'm here to scream... no, no (no, no). ] // Making a Monster out of Me (Katherine McNamara) [ And I don't know how to recollect the morals that I always did possess. Don't know where its leading me. ] // We Don't Have To Dance (Andy Black) [ You're never gonna get it, I'm a hazard to myself. I'll break it to you easy. This is hell, this is hell. ]
tonight it's alright, i can see the tunnel at the end of these lights | summer 2020:
summer camp and the months leading up to a new school year
Night Owls Early Birds (Foxes) [ A wild fire inside me burns. Why do I look like I'm wear for worse? Save me, save me, go underneath the ground. ] // Too Much (Carly Rae Jepsen) [ When I party, then I party too much. When I feel it, then I feel it too much. When I'm thinking, then I'm thinking too much. When I'm drinking, then I'm drinking too much. ] // Royal Blue (Alberto Rosende) [ My regrets are a shade around my neck I know. It's torturous, and there's a burden that I can't let go. ] // Who You Selling For (The Pretty Reckless) [ And when Roger showed me I was building a wall. I've been waiting a long time, waiting a long time, waiting a long time, waiting for it to fall. ] // Heavy (Linkin Park feat. Kiiara) [ You say that I'm paranoid, but I’m pretty sure the world is out to get me. It’s not like I make the choice to let my mind stay so fucking messy. ] // The Archer (Taylor Swift) [ I've been the archer, I've been the prey; screaming, “who could ever leave me,” darling. But who could stay? ] // Everybody Lost Somebody (Bleachers) [ And there's a reason I wake up alone in strange places, a reason I see myself in a million faces, a reason I can't stop it all from changing. So come on, motherfucker, you survive, you gotta give yourself a break. ]
no cameras catch my muffled cries. i counted days, i counted miles | fall and winter 2020(/21):
a new school year, from the start of the semester right until the aftermath of the kings’ party
So It Goes (Guards) [ I don't know who I am but I do know who I'm not. I'm just looking for a friend, I'm still searching for the plot. ] // Wasabi (Little Mix) [ Love to hate me, praise me, shame me; either way, you talk about me. ] // Think Before I Talk (Astrid S) [ Maybe I should think before I talk; I get emotional and words come out all wrong. Sometimes I'm more honest than I want. ] // Miss Americana & The Heartbreak Prince (Taylor Swift) [ No cameras catch my muffled cries. I counted days, I counted miles to see you there, to see you there. And now the storm is coming, but... ] // Sober Up (AJR feat. Rivers Cuomo) [ Won't you help me sober up? Growin' up, it made me numb, and I wanna feel somethin' again. ] // The Show Must Go On (Queen) [ Empty spaces, what are we living for? Abandoned places, I guess we know the score, on and on. Does anybody know what we are looking for? ] // Waiting For A Friend (The Pretty Reckless) [ My head is like a prison cell, I'm all by myself. I'm waiting for my friend to come and break me out. ] // Sober (Demi Lovato) [ I'm sorry that I'm here again, I promise I'll get help. It wasn't my intention, I'm sorry to myself. ] // Eight (Sleeping At Last) [ I'm just a kid who grew up scared enough to hold the door shut, and bury my innocence. But here's a map, here's a shovel, here's my Achilles' heel. ]
i got this handled, i don't need rescuing | spring and early summer 2021:
ches’s progress from the end of march until now
The Man (Taylor Swift) [ I’m so sick of running as fast as I can, wondering if I'd get there quicker if I was a man. And I'm so sick of them coming at me again, 'cause if I was a man, then I'd be the man. ] // Princess (FLETCHER) [ But we're all going through it, so why do we do it? Why do we hide? ] // Humpty Dumpty (AJR) [ If I can't breathe, then you can't see, but aren't you excited that I'm giving you the best me? ] // My Mistake (Gabrielle Aplin) [ Am I jaded? Am I meant to feel this way? I'm a loser, getting beat by my own game. But if I falter, well, at least it was my mistake. ] // The Climb (Miley Cyrus) [ The struggles I'm facing, the chances I'm taking; sometimes might knock me down, but no, I'm not breaking. ] // breathin (Ariana Grande) [ Some days, things just take way too much of my energy. I look up and the whole room's spinning. You take my cares away. ] // Clean (Taylor Swift) [ Ten months sober, I must admit just because you're clean, don't mean you don't miss it. Ten months older, I won't give in, now that I'm clean, I'm never gonna risk it. ] // Not a Pop Song (Little Mix) [ A hamster on a wheel that's how it feels tryna be real. These unrealistic expectations said we'll make it if we fake it. ] // Queen (Loren Gray) [ Eyes on me like I'm a prize but you better recognize I'm not your angel 'cause I belong to me. ] // The Cure (Little Mix) [ This happiness was always inside me but Lord, it took a minute to find me. ]
#musings ( playlists )#all of my heroes died all alone ( musings )#death tw#abuse tw#alcoholism tw#alcohol tw#vomit tw#vomiting tw#vomit mention tw
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for day two of @souyoweek2020
yosuke’s birthday or sunny || SPOTIFY LINK
yosuke hanamura has dedicated large chunks of hours to creating hyper-specific playlists for moods and friends; but never once has anyone made one with him in mind. well, that was until yu narukami shoved a cd in his hands while looking uncharacteristically shy. his partner didn’t say anything other than a mumbled ‘happy birthday, i thought it was time i returned the favor. call me when you’ve listened to it all the way through.’ yosuke never did end up calling-- choosing to throw rocks at yu’s window at nearly midnight to get his attention.
(lyrics that really made yu have gay feelings for yosuke under the cut)
anything for you by ludo: i'd give up anything / anything for you / i’d give it all / all of this is true / but the best story that i could ever tell / is the one where i am growing old with you
d&d is gay (but so am i so this tracks) 2.0 by newgrounds death rugby: sophomore year was a lonely lonely time / i had only my hand to talk to / junior year was slightly less lonely / cuz i had only you to talk to
like or like like by miniature tigers: i watched you get undressed /
i must have turned bright red / 'cause i couldn't stand to face you /
'cause i liked what i saw
strawberry by paul baribeau: and i see all kinds of things when i look at you
you in january by the wonder years: i’m measuring heartbeats in miles away / you held me together / i used to burst and decay / we got off the airplane a couple of runaways / im glad that you stayed
i will by mitiski: i will see your body bare / and still i will live here / so stay with me / hold my hand / there’s no need / to be brave
in a river by rostam: we got dreams we keep together / we got time to spend / oh hell yeah
tim i wish you were born a girl by of montreal: tim wish you were born a girl / wish you were born a girl / so i could've been your boyfriend / i know it's not possible now / i just never met a girl / i like half as much as you
a complete list of fears ages 5-28 (approx) by the yellow dress: oh but mainly losing you / these days mainly losing you
lvr boy by awfultune: your love hit like a brick to the face / and when i put up a fight you put me back in my place
pearl by austin p mckenzie: i thank god for this feeling every day / i wonder if he thinks it's okay
talking quietly of anything with you by free cake for every creature: talking quietly of anything with you / your face in the lamplight / i wanna frame it
making the most of the night by carly rae jepsen: baby take my hand now don't you cry / i won't let you stay here i won't let you hide / no more tears don't waste another day / go on and fight don't lay down to die / come on get up you'll make it through okay
old college try by the mountain goats: i will walk down to the end with you /
if you will come all the way down with me
the bro duet by alexander sage oyen: no homo but let's find an apartment together / no homo let's save money by sharing a bed / looking into your eyes
/ made me realize / that i love you more than you could ever know / my bro
#do NOT @ me. yes i have issues#souyoweek2020#souyo week 2020#souyo#persona 4#isaac viddy game posting hours
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ugh, okay. this is now a sappy end of the year post. by the time you read this i shall be knee deep in karate dads and eating banana bread at LesbianCon but i just wanted to say that this year has been.... horrible. awful. not the worst year of my life (hello, 2017! ❤️) but still a bad one. that being said, there was a lot that kept me anchored amongst the chaos. my eternal thanks, appreciation, and love goes out to:
- dirk bogarde and leslie howard for being my 2020 actor discoveries and making the wildest and gayest movies that made me insane
- kate @1985directedbyyentan for our semi-regular movie nights, for putting up with me the night i got so stoned while watching pride & prejudice that i disappeared for three hours and then came back having forgotten everything that had just happened, and then again for getting stoned on the night we watched that one batman movie and i couldn’t stop giggling, but mostly for being one of my very best friends and a regular panelist in Da Simp Patrol
- the approximately 200 people who watched sweet smell of success (1957) for the first time this year because of my inability to shut up about it
- the movies i revisited this year and now consider all-time favorites: the third man and double indemnity
- this section from richard siken’s litany in which certain things are crossed out:
- those of you who let me trust you with my precious writing, of which i am terribly self-conscious, and live-messaged your breakdowns to me in the DMs about it
- a special shout-out goes to @deadpanwalking for giving me the kernel of an idea that would go on to be one of the best things i’ve ever written, which also just so happened to be ssos fanfiction.
- taylor swift, carly rae jepsen, and fiona apple for beating me to death in that walmart parking lot. god love ya.
- the TGNLBL (too many to tag but it’s been an honor being blocklisted with you tonight) for teaching me to stop caring so much about what others think of me, and to stop feeling ashamed for having interests. my therapist told me this year that over the year he’s noticed a strong change to the way i react to shitty people and i literally had to say, “thanks, it’s because i and a bunch of internet strangers got blacklisted from an HBO fandom” but LIKE. it is TRUE and i love you all.
- all of the new friends i made this year
- but especially to lys @little-water-lily for waking up every single day and choosing violence in our DMs 🌸
- burt lancaster, for being sexy, and to tony curtis for being a gay man that god forgot to flip the gay switch on for
- this photo of me that i was taking at the exact second i heard that that kirk douglas died ❤️
- cobra kai for truly keeping me SANE this year (CK fandom, ily) and the fandom gatekeeper @fulltimehabibti who made an entire social media platform lose its mind about two dudes who do karate.
- [semi truck drives by] for being a literally fucking insane piece of media that i don’t even know how to talk about yet. maybe this year.
- and lastly, and as always, to my 🍯❤️
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