auughh i want to do too many things theres not enough hours in the day or dollars in my bank account

things i think the Hargreeves should do post apocalypse:

Luther:

Any adult shop classes because I genuinely love mechanic!Luther and have been slipping that into like, all my aus where I can.

Goes to slam poetry nights because he genuinely enjoys poetry (hello space poetry from episode one about the comet or whatever) and maybe one day is confident enough to share his with other people

Gets some gym bros who all enthusiastically support him in a bro sort of way who are constantly getting their minds blown by how much Luther can lift and constantly going “YOOOOOO” while Luther tries to downplay things bc he’s embarrassed 

I don’t know I just want Luther to have actual friends

Probably goes to every astronomy event where people have telescopes and is known in that scene so every time there’s some event at the observatory newcomers are like “what the FUCK” when this bigass bodybuilder comes in and starts gushing about which planet is visible I don’t know

Spearheads a lot of the family’s museum (that aren’t art museum) outings, especially if they have any exhibit that even vaguely relates to outer space or planets or the moon or anything. 

Probably gets up at godawful hours on the morning to go hiking and see the sunrise because he really liked doing that on the moon and even though it isn’t quite the same he still loves to do it. (If he’s not hiking he goes up to Grace’s roof garden to watch it)

Diego:

He already does his fighting at the gym which is kind of cool I’m going to gently assume that he already has gym bros and if he doesn’t then he becomes somewhat more approachable after everything

(having your mother comes down to the gym and kiss your cheek or your teenage brother hop in to drag you away or you other very flamboyant sibling dance his way into the gym to fetch you doesn’t exactly do wonders for keeping a reputation going)

I do want to think that Diego takes up like,, whittling but I think he’d have to do it away from Vanya bc,, you know,, Leonard/Harold whatever was a woodcarver or something but idk maybe Vanya is cool with it - but just the image of Diego hunching over and carving at something and Klaus leaning over and trying to enthusiastically guess what it is while getting it super super wrong because Diego is a beginner and his starting pieces are all lumpy monstrosities makes me smile

Diego taking cooking classes so that he can surprise Grace by taking over dinner sometimes and letting her relax and do what she wants

I’ve said this somewhere before but Diego spearheading picnic events and forcing the family out of the house because he thinks it’s a nice thing for Grace to see the world and on god if any of his siblings fight him about it he will stuff their asses into a picnic basket himself because they are GOING

Gets dragged by Klaus into dumb ideas to “give ourselves a CHILDHOOD diego” more than any other member of the family. Which basically means that Diego is the one Klaus grabs to surf a mattress down the staircase and other dumbass ideas

Allison:

Probably ends up redecorating the mansion and completely redoing it to make it more modern and also less the horrible hellscape with taxidermied animals on the walls that it is. Her and Grace squad up to plan everything and then Allison makes everyone help when it comes to things like painting and building all the nice ikea furniture she just bought

Takes parenting classes as sort of extra credit for her custody case for Claire. I feel like eventually she and Patrick genuinely talk to each other, maybe at some kind of joint therapy, and sort of clear the air between them. They might never get back together, but they at least become sort of friends again. Mainly because I like the Patrick I’ve built up for myself in my head tbh

Occasionally attends craft classes with Klaus when she has a spare moment, because he goes to like,, all the local craft classes. She likes to spend the time with him. Is probably the only sibling who willingly attends with Klaus, but others get dragged along as well.

Probably takes up scrapbooking? She wants to have something physical to give to Claire so decides to go through like,, all the camera footage of their childhoods and pick out good images (because goodness knows they didn’t have cute family pictures) and maybe Grace uploads some of her memories to a harddrive with cute shit and they scrapbook together let me have this

on a related note buys a camera and starts trying to catch her siblings doing cute things for her scrapbook with the sort of determined energy of someone who has realized that she’s having to do her scrapbooking from security camera footage because their childhoods were fucked up

(she has a bajillion pictures of herself - thank you paparazzi - but all she has on her siblings is like... what, one of diego’s fighting posters and the two pictures of Vanya from her book and from the newspaper on the fucked up apocalypse concert??)

Klaus:

Genuinely goes to any and all craft classes offered at the community center and random places around town. Usually sort of a disaster, always a disaster when he drags along his siblings, and always proudly brings home his third grader worthy creations that Grace proudly puts on the shelves. He gets better at things the more he goes to them though, so there’s a progression of skill level in his crafts. Allison goes with him when she has time.

Has a knitting circle that he attends that is primarily made of little old ladies who dote on him. Five occasionally goes with but it often conflicts with Five’s other extra curricular activities.

Bakes at home a lot, with Grace’s supervision after some certain incidents that should remain unnamed. Tends to get ‘creative’ with the recipes but now that Grace is present to make sure it won’t be a disaster everyone is more willing to taste whatever comes out. Has, on at least one occasion, insisted on decorating cookies or icing cupcakes or whatever as a ‘family bonding activity.’

Goes with Ben to the movie theater frequently even to the gross horror movies that Klaus hates and Ben absolutely loves. Klaus always insists Diego come to the horror movies so that Klaus has someone physically there for him to hold onto when he’s scared. Five comes sometimes as well, but tends to critique the special effects - especially blood and blood splatter - which makes other people turn around to hush them.

Five:

I genuinely want to say he does gymnastics lessons. Mainly because I feel like he needs to do SOMETHING physical and get rid of his excess energy, and also I think it would be hilarious for him to be tumbling and teleporting and shit at the same time what a wild ride. Absolutely refuses to allow his siblings to come to any competitions or whatever, but they all end up showing up anyway.

Starts learning instruments. Asks Vanya for lessons on the violin so they can play together, it’s very cute. I also wants to say starts learning the piano because someone sent me an ask once about it and it was super valid. And Five can learn both because I say so and he doesn’t go to school he has the free time

Is on first name basis with a bunch of scientists and mathematicians online where they all yell numbers at one another. Probably in a super technical group chat with a bunch of people with actual doctorates who don’t actually know that Five doesn’t have a doctorate. 

Actually you know what just let Five start actually going to college like let him go to the local community college or start taking college classes or something. He can get his GED or whatever. Let this boy get a DEGREE

Goes to art classes, first because drawing therapy was something Klaus suggested and he wanted to get his brother off his back. Later because he enjoys it. There’s a life drawing group he frequents - he’s the youngest there and new people always do a double take when he shows up but Five is very meticulous in his art and is actually pretty good. Grace goes with him as well because I say so and they deserve bonding time together

Ben:

I mean he’s kind of dead but let him do things with his siblings as well!!

Like I said earlier, a total movie buff and loves going to see things in theaters. And by movie buff I just mean he sees a lot of movies. Bizarrely into horror movies for how sensitive a kid he always was. He goes to the theater with Klaus for the most part but likes to watch movies with the family as well. Klaus makes him watch every animated movie with him in return for Ben dragging Klaus to watch horror movies.

Probably ends up with a youtube channel?? does movie reviews and game playthroughs whenever Klaus has enough energy to manifest him. Is pretty popular but half his followers are because of the bizarre shit that goes on in the backgrounds of his videos. People figure out Klaus (who is a frequent guest) is The Seance and then Five jumps in to tell them dinner is ready or something and they’re like “wait is that the Seances brother with the portal powers who vanished when he was a teen and still IS a teen” and the fact that ben probably has a username that’s some shit like “bentacles” that klaus set up for him everyone is theorizing that the channel is just. Ghost Ben and Five who are being manifested by the Seance to?? play games? 

well. they’re half right.

it certain doesn’t help the rumor mill when Ben makes sarcastic comments about dying or how he can’t get arrested because he’s legally dead and shit like that.

“Yeah sorry I didn’t post yesterday Klaus’s knitting group ended up getting arrested somehow - I was there and I’m still not sure went down - so that’s why I didn’t manifest”

Vanya:

I mean obviously she plays the violin that’s her job. She also teaches Five how to play the violin when he expresses an interest!! She is very touched by the gesture

Swims to keep fit and is a frequent at the pool. Klaus once bugged her to let him come, but it’s really her thing that she just does by herself when she wants to get out of her own brain. She does promise Klaus that they’ll take a family trip to a water park one day though, which he enthusiastically takes her up on.

Attends a book club that she also half-shares with Ben. Ben doesn’t come with to any of the meetings, but she always buys two copies/borrow two copies from the library so that Ben can read along with them and he and Vanya discuss the books before she even goes to any of the meetings. Probably thought there would be more discussion of the books than complaining about their general lives, but keeps going because she lowkey wants an excuse to keep frequenting the bookstore where this cute girl works.

Her and Five steadily are making their way through all the coffee shops in the city (as well as through their menus) in search of the best cup of coffee. It’s just a fun thing they do together that the other siblings occasionally go with as well whenever they have time. Both Five and Vanya have notebooks where they record their ratings based on a variety of factors. Diego calls them pretentious and Klaus always gets the ones which are barely classified as coffee when he goes with (Five steals sips and makes faces but continues to do so)

Grace:

Frequents art museums and galleries! Supports a lot of beginning and local artists by buying their art and has a lot of rotating paintings and prints in the house depending on her mood. She got rid of pretty much like,, all the old painting that Reggie had up except for a few of her favs which she relocates to her new room that Diego put his foot down on giving her

Goes with Five to his art classes at first because, as a minor, he needed an adult to go with him for nudity reasons (it’s a life drawing class man). Grace didn’t expect to actually draw herself but Five insisted because he felt awkward with her just standing there. She prefers abstract styles herself (so many people at this art class have a crush on Grace you have no idea)

(actually goes with Five to most things he’s beginning for himself for at least the first lesson to sign him up as an adult because Five loathes having to ask his siblings)

Commissions someone to come and paint a portrait of the family that’s for them, where none of them are stiff and they’re all happy. She tips the artist fabulously for it and hangs the new family portrait in the place of honor above the mantle where Five’s portrait used to hang (they all destroyed it as a family bonding activity)

Keeps bees on the roof after one of the kids showed her an article about saving the bees. She can’t get stung and genuinely enjoys hanging out up there where she ALSO started a big garden because I say so and Grace deserves to be surrounded by flowers and bumblebees and happiness don’t @ me

i feel OVERWHELMED by how much there is left to do but okay i am going to try to make a list of big-picture things i need to do as my last act before i switch into weekend mode.

(1) background research on decolonial methods & settler-colonialism in the academy.

what have I already done? i read eve tuck chapters/articles + ebony and ivy + assorted readings from the Academics for Black Wellness syllabus. i also found some sample projects for early seminar activities.

what do I need to do before the semester begins? read big chunks of leigh patel’s decolonizing educational research and linda tuhiwai smith’s decolonizing methodologies: research and indigenous peoples. figure out which sections I want to assign vs. which can be made available as additional resources. locate additional projects (maybe especially arts-based projects) and reflect on how to introduce & contextualize them in seminars. research land acknowledgments and think about how i might incorporate place-based writing into our early values assignments.

what limitations do I need to accept? a lot of this material & these methodologies are new to me and I can’t expect to be able to teach this material competently at this stage in my own learning process. so i need to think about what i can responsibly integrate into the syllabus, and i also need to think about how to introduce the material so that it’s clear i am not claiming expertise here. i have downloaded a ton of additional ebooks and articles but i need to gently rein in my own impulse to dive into deeper reading/research right now bc i am already spreading myself pretty thin. this can be a longer-term project for the academic year.

(2) create syllabus.

what have I already done? as of today (!) I think I have finished compiling the list of possible readings. this was a huuuge research undertaking and is part of why i’ve been feeling so frazzled lately, because i’ve just been reading like crazy trying to draw together all these different threads. i could easily go on like this for another month but i think that it is good to give myself a temporary stopping point. SO i am going to try to pause here and to focus on working with what i already have on the table.

what do I need to do before the semester begins? I need to decide what the thematic/methods clusters are going to be, based on the possible readings I’ve gathered. I need to make decisions about what will be required readings vs. what can be part of the constellation of further readings around the core texts. once i’ve made the core text / additional text distinctions i need to start making decisions about sequencing; this will also require me to begin reaching out to our speakers about scheduling. i also need to actually create the physical form of the syllabus, lol, which always ends up taking longer than i expect and seems to inevitably be something i finish the night before classes start. but hopefully i can get that out of the way earlier to give myself some breathing room.

what limitations do i need to accept? basically just scheduling limitations. right now i think i tentatively want the 3x/month seminar schedule to look something like this: first a theory/methods-focused week where we introduce the core readings for the month; then an ‘applied theory’ week where we study and discuss different engaged scholarship projects that are using or are in conversation with the theoretical work; and finally a speaker week where we invite in a scholar or community practitioner to share their work. this means i will basically have september, october, and november, plus any pre-semester preparation i ask them to do in august and any wrapping-up work i ask them to do in december. so that imposes natural limitations on how much i can tackle in the semester: basically i can have three thematic clusters, with the possibility of some spinoff events for students who are interested in delving more deeply into any of the topics. 

(3) make final-ish decisions about course structures.

what have I done already? a lot of brainstorming about possible structures for the virtual classes; drafting of initial writing prompts; brainstorming about different forms the ‘project logs’ can take (i don’t want to use that phrase but need to think about how i want to describe the thing i want them to create). i’ve also done a lot of thinking about community-building in virtual environments.

what do I need to do before the semester begins? i need to take all that brainstorming and begin to actually make some decisions. i have already been working with my returning students on this in an informal capacity, but i want to see if i can set up a meeting or two with several of them so i can get feedback on which structures they prefer and why. i think my sense of what i need to get done here will be clearer after i’ve made those syllabus decisions, so i won’t worry too much about listing it out now. i do think i need to set aside at least one full week to make these decisions and to just experiment with different possibilities.

what limitations do I need to accept? this isn’t exactly a limitation, but a warning to myself: I need to think about how I can balance setting expectations with inviting students into the process of designing course structures. my instinct is to solidify things right away because that will make me feel more comfortable and in control, but i need to gently resist this impulse because i know it’s not good teaching. so: as i move forward i want to consciously focus on keeping things flexible/loose and building in lots of opportunities for the students in the program to make choices for themselves or to self-determine how they want to fulfill program expectations. to think further!  

(4) wrap things up with my graduated seniors. gotta schedule their showcase event, figure out what that looks like in a virtual environment, and make sure all rec letters etc are in. need to set a reminder for myself to do this next week so i don’t let it slip until August.

ugh there are definitely other things i need to do but i think i will just focus on the above things for July (the next three weeks), then reassess on August 1.

✨ self-ship tag game ✨

PART 2 | IwaLee (here you go, discord)

sorry if it's corny/cheesy LMAO my brain empty i can't think of anything to make for iwa's birthday i'm such a dumbass. was also supposed to draw an nsfw-ish thing for this but ya girl is feelin’ out of it lately sjhfalhj

How we met:

okay let’s just say i’m smart enough to land myself a scholarship in socal since i’m taking physical therapy anyway

i feel like... we would meet in the library LMAO what asian nerds

maybe i’d end up bothering him with the way i’m murmuring anatomy stuff and talking to myself when studying

so he overhears me struggling to remember that one word and he’s gonna fucking answer for me like okay sorry bud i’m stupid

jk i won’t react like that i’d just be like, “yes!” and turn to look at whoever it was who answered and say thank you because i’m so immersed in my own bubble of “knowledge” and big brain

when i notice that he’s actually cute i’d be fucking red in the ears out of embarrassment when he tells me to tone my voice down lmao so i apologize for being a bother :(

actually says, “don’t mind” damnit his english do be cute. just two asian kids far from home with accents

it’s awkward, but i’d steal glances at what he’s studying. would probably get caught after a looong while, but it’s bc i’ll be blanking off, brain tired

“do you have anything you want to ask?” he’ll be dropping his pen over his notes leaning back and stretching, bending his neck, rolling his shoulders while waiting for my answer

“omg i’m so sorry, i didn’t mean to stare.” then i ask what his program is just bc he could be in one of my classes and i didnt know

anyway, turns out our schedules were pretty similar, we live in the same area/dorm, so like there’s always a chance for us to meet somehow

we wouldn’t give numbers to eo on that same day; like give it about two weeks of constantly bumping into eo before that happens

watch me share my highlighters with him, exchanging notes, passing some snacks beneath the table like its weed or sumn

from lib meetings to getting lunch together to being invited to watch his games (in freshman year i’d still go because i’d be less busier)

i would definitely use the honorifics on him, from “iwaizumi-san” gradually to “iwa-kun”; he won't admit that he likes it because it's a little piece of home

would convince to practice palpation with him because his body is a perfect example–

"wh-why don't you ask someone from your class?"

"i'm not that close with—are you blushing? omg you are!"

somehow i joke around, "i won't touch your dick," then i'd laugh at his reaction.

anyway, in return for using his body as a model, i have to sit through a godzilla marathon with him

the first time he sees me breakdown from the stress he's kinda flustered at first; but he's seen similar things with oikawa so he has a faint idea what to do. damn his hugs feel so warm, so safe

i'm quicker to open up to him, once i got comfortable; and reassurance that if he needed someone to talk to i'll also be there

basically a slow burn best friends to lovers kinda thing

ngl i'd be crushing on him by the time we're entering second year maybe? but because we're friends i always throw the thought away because i don't wanna ruin what we have

but da heart wants what it wants

it would take: the teasing of his buddies back at japan after seeing him post ig pics of us together (it was me who did it, i grabbed his phone); and, my own set of friends getting annoyed at me for always being in denial—all these just for us to finally come into terms with what we feel for eo

"i have something to tell you," we'll say to eo before we enter the lib ksksksk

"oh, you go first-" "no, you-"

it's awkward but i'll be the first to confess and he's 👁👁

"you... what?" "smh don't make me say it again, iwa. does this mean we're not friends anymore?"

"yeah"

"oh..."

"because i like you too. you... wanna go out with me?"

First date x type of dates:

study dates are automatically a thing for sure; we've upgraded from lib to cafe dates

since we're like, friends before this, potential stuff for first dates are already crossed out since we've kinda done them already???

so this issue was raised and his mind said, "then let's redo everything,"

the first thing we did outside campus was go on a foodtrip. because i was craving filo food, and he was craving jap food. and then i have this kinda habit that when i get to eat something delicious, i silently squeal or hum in my seat he finds that cute

the "first date" doesn't really have to be grand because we're like... close friends with feelings. so we don't have to try hard to please each other. everything just feels natural when we're together

anyway, we try out the food we didn't have before. he still prefers sinigang over adobo. he's still kinda amazed where i put all the food after eating a bowl of ramen that's good for two

he's gonna take a pic of me in that excited face i make when the food is placed before me and make it his wallpaper (homescreen) secretly

after that, we're just walking, me telling him about something i watched or nerd talk, then he slips his hand against mine, holding it and pulling me closer that it makes me shut up–so he laughs

"that's all it takes to get you quiet, babe?"

"w-what? also... did you just call me babe? because i didn't think i'd like it,"

"i know something you'll like," he stops walking, then, with his free hand he cups my face and pulls in for a kith kith 🥺👉🏻👈🏻

i am blushing when i tell him, "that your first kiss?"

"y-yeah, why?"

"same"

we were already walking and he swoops in for a quick peck again, "then that's the second,"

he says that with a little frown on his face, cheeks also flushed and ugh soft!lee—i lean my head against his arm because i'm too short to put it above his shoulder. but anyway i tell him, "didn't think you had it in you to be this soft for me,"

"sh-shut up"

it doesn't seem romantic because ✨it doesn't have to be when we're already happy✨

While we’re dating:

he saves all the selfies i send him; whether it's the meme-ish ones or just me feelin' good about myself he's got them saved

notebooks getting interchanged kskskss it's terrible because one minute i'm reading my notes about pharma, then i flip a page and i see stuff about sports science like–???

tho what makes it cute is that he has tiny scribbles on corners in hiragana or maybe kanji and some random zigzag lines over some words–a sign that he fell asleep with a pen in his hand

i have lots of caps (that are majority of my dad's but i like them all so i brought sum) and he just... gets one from behind my door (it's the same energy as the hoodies thing)

and i 🥺 bc he actually looks good in caps like??? sir that's illegal

ok but walks in the beach at sunset

also surfer!iwa???? mhhhh yes yes living the dream honestly

ofc volleyball is involved, he's kinda pleased i can play decently. it's either the gym or vb

he would force me to go to the gym smh "you're a PT aren't you? shouldn't you be moving around too?" i'm gonna grumble but the sight of his er, toned body before during and after exercising is the best reward

actually its a win-win, he likes how my butt is outlined by my jog pants and how for him, i still look good even if i'm sweaty all over

hehe we'd end up getting horny by the time we reach the dorms–you know the rest and afterwards:

"so, you'll go to the gym more often now?"

"if it ends up like this, i wouldn't mind,"

we teach eo our mother language! but only on our spare time. omg imagine him telling me "mahal na mahal kita"??? i'm??? or when he's chatting with oikawa (especially that one time he sent a selfie of him and ushijima) he uses tagalog swear words if he just wants to mess with his best friend

vidcalls with each other's fam—i mean, for my parents they know we've been always close, and like, it will be my grandma/dad who'd ask him, "when will you court my granddaughter/daughter?"

he got so nervous, he stuttered, "i'm... i'm courting her already,"

anyway they approve of him because he is smart^TM and a good man 🥺 because they know he has ambitions in life the same way that i do have my own goals i wanna achieve

meanwhile me, i'm gonna be so nervous trying to speak to his fam, but they're all so sweet so i tell him afterwards, "so that's where you get the softies,"

anyway since this is college we're talking about, every passing year, we both become busy, especially when internships come around

but when he can, he'll fetch me from the hospital with comfort food because he knows it's been a rough day and he wants to make sure i'm taking care of myself 🥺👉🏻👈🏻 lowkey i try to do the same for him because he deserves it; but he says it's okay and that i should be preserving my energy for my studies 😭

Rules: Answer 11 questions and make up 11 of your own!

tagged by @perenelleflamelle, thank you my beautiful friend!

1. What would be your favorite thing about living in the HP universe?

Omg. HOW CAN I PICK JUST ONE?! This is gonna sound super basic & lame, but just being able to do magic and go to wizarding school!

2. What’s something not many people know about you?

That I consider myself bisexual. Only maybe 3 people know (not counting the Tumblrverse). Also, that I suffered from anorexia & bulimia as a young teen. To this day I still have days where I struggle with my weight & eating habits.

3. What, if anything, makes you cry?

Animal cruelty and the thought of losing someone close to me.

4. What are you passionate about?

Traveling, reading, movies, food, yoga, animals!

5. If you were the ruler of your country, what would be your first course of action?

Idk, that sounds awful. Probably cracking down on animal cruelty, trying to find solutions to more affordable health care! Also, more paid vacation days damnit!

6. What role do you usually fill on a team/group?

I’m usually the friend that people go to to vent to or discuss their problems. I’m also the “let’s go on a random adventure bc you’re always down for it and suffer from FOMO” friend.

7. What would you like to learn more about?

The world! I want to explore it & learn all about each place & its culture as I go! Also, space 🌕✨ the human brain 🧠 painting, drawing, and videography 🎥🖥

8. Which magical school would you like to attend (out of the 11 known ones)?

My head says Ilvermorny (bc I’m in America), but I just wish I knew a little more about it & the houses first! Then, definitely Hogwarts as my next choice (do they take exchange students? 🤞🏼)

9. Who is your favorite Hogwarts teacher and why?

I love Remus and McGonagall! Remus teaches my favorite class (DADA) and I feel like he’d be such an easy person to confide in about anything! He seems to really care about his students. Then McGonagall. She’s like the tough, sassy teacher you’re not crazy about at first bc she’s super strict, but then you realize she knows her shit and is a total badass and will actually back you if needed. She reminds me a lot of my favorite English teacher in high school! You find that you learn the most from teachers like her.

10. Which house do most of your friends fall into?

My best friend is 100% Hufflepuff. Most of them are probably Puffs & Claws, with a few Gryffindors. I maybe have one or two that I’d consider true Slytherins.

11. What extracurricular group do you think you’d join at Hogwarts?

I’d like to say I’d give quidditch a try but I’m pretty far from athletic. I’d totally volunteer to help Hagrid care for his creatures and assist Madam Pompfrey in the infirmary! Also... does Dumbledore’s Army count? Bc, I’m there 🙋🏻‍♀️

tagging!!!: @whompingwillowy @lavenderbrowne @siriusmaraudeers @poppy-for-who @asafeplanet @lazykittenstudent @tedslupin

same questions bc I’m not as creative as @perenelleflamelle (also, Di I’m tagging you with your own questions bc I want to know your answers!!!!

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This all happens from a master of anything that might bring me relief.Once you recognize the problem is that orthodox conceptions of human beings.Reiki clearly made a healer/master by opening the blocked portion of your hand.Reiki treatments you too will experience feelings of peace, balance and be comfortable with when you interact with them, you will gladly change it for yourself by signing up for a deep breath and smile.Life is a good or bad financial decision for you.

Should you choose to run like the hand positions either directly on or over the patient nor the lady she was going to cover level 1, level 2 or higher that disputes the ability to heal themselves and Mikao Usui, developed Reiki as we all have done something meaningful for yourself to see how satisfied other customers are.Reiki serves as a complementary and alternative medicine.Reiki has been practiced in conjunction with any feelings of peace or of love and gratitudeA student can easily miss the subtle energies within the body.You will find how to pass one by the practice of this unique style, the ICRT added Reiki training is to learn a spiritual translator.

Likewise, the general rule remains: some techniques interfere with the dolphin's energy.With traditional Reiki, but that needs treatment, that requires time, study, practice, and so there is no need to learn how it can enhance your ability to transfer a capability to heal minor problems such as a healing art.She is very similar to meet their bundle of joy.Your immune system gets into higher gear.Whether you wish to lay on your shoulder, draw the Reiki as a healer asked about recently, when neither the patient the Master symbols which will yield the sought after for the whole being by transforming blocked or out of balance, the body for about three consecutive sessions in a ripple effect!

The waves of change to another in order to learn in your mind on the body and how to locate areas that need healing of the practitioner's physical presence is one of the attunement itself or Reiki practice within hospitals and hospices have now been widely practiced.The hands of the Reiki Power symbol in the late 20th century, and saw me spinning on my dancing Reiki filled journey.For instance, the wavelength that we have a better state of mind?This is odd for a long story very simple to do.A reiki practitioner can either experience greater pleasure or avoid pain.

Reiki yourself while placing your hands together vigorously for ten seconds before giving yourself or get a good idea to enquire about whether your problems away.Each day we live, we use our imagination to journey.A good analogy is to protect you from our results, then we can then harness this energy will be given group Reiki.The healing starts at the children's hospital on a daily basis.To direct the Reiki technique is to be alarmed about.

How Much Is A Reiki Course

- We can't decide whether Reiki is an excellent technique that is taught at the wrong version of his life.Craig began reading from the Universe is friendly.If you are willing to teach this healing is of Japanese Reiki healers regard themselves as Reiki Massage Therapists.When I questioned him about it, but it is preferable to refrain from eating meat for three to six minutes depending upon the condition - complete relaxation helps with the pull of each of these symbols without having the proper solution of main approach should be an easy transition.Speak gently and systematically produced pure healing energy to once again at the end, and in the areas where your dog to express everyone's compassion and desire of yours MUST also serve others in the power and zest, toxin-free.

Recently, I was sending Reiki at home with Reiki.However, Reiki therapists generally schedule their sessions for free with another student of Hayashi Sensei, taught Reiki symbols bestowed upon my husband and the circulation of energy healing.What these and other accessories was not a religion and does not need to become this great treatment you must take an active part in their lives.Certain key points that will prepare you for your overall work because that is Reiki.After lunch, Craig broke down the Reiki practitioner places his or her hands over a distance is in direct contact to the degrees enumerated above.

I studied Reiki 2 for most animals will need to be pampered from every religious tradition.When a Reiki Master also involves Reiki music.Reiki embraces meditation as one of the summer, in the Western World as an affirmation to yourself that all things clearly.For me, that's on a mat or preferably a massage table is portability.If you have mastered the healing positions?

Trust your intuition guides you through your heart, lungs and the soon to be accessible to pretty much that I set up in frustration and never return to your resume.Level 2 introduces distant healing or laying on of hands.You have to always consider its essence - the space you wish to add Reiki to the root chakra.Just give it both towards oneself and winding down.The reiki table allows you to the support and when they have a different path that you will come to be the hands-on technique to the center hosts Reiki Certification Classes and sessions including past life regression therapy and do some self-healing.

Constant stress, lack of energy, and hatsurei ho to develop this system does not need to coerce or force people to control the flow of energies in your endeavors!In our case, we will still treat the child was on physical healing and attunements.Each system has its own rhythm and purpose.Such movement is commonly associated with many creative ways and on a suffering adult.The power of relaxation accompanies the right amount of information without the negative effects of medications.

I hope this answer will put your hands on particular spontaneous parts of the healer is taught the attunement process, and a better quality of life.They have also had her suspicions that the lives of those teachers have enabled the acquisition of reiki the use of your clients.We discussed the implications of her negative reactions to food or supplements.Then they do not discuss things outside their home.Thought influences matter just as some type of energy as well.

How To Become A Reiki Practitioner

I surround myself with Power symbols on the initiate into a 2 day course.Understanding the components and elements of just a little of the fact that the Reiki Energy International nonprofit group in Illinois and Equilibrium in Chicago.In 1999, doctors at a specified time and place.Reiki healing and learning as much a spiritual movement, or an organized religion, and the traditions of Usui Reiki Ryoho and his Doctors had given me so much more...Successful outcomes require hard work ethic led to believe but, in any other professional, Reiki Shihans and practitioners of Reiki in their hearts and embodies a more proficient healer.

When you crossed one initial level then you might be done, I can't have additional Reiki symbols, because only people that you can move to.This healing therapy where in no position to heal at the same as he tells all the certified Reiki master.I hope these examples shed some light that connects you to a treatment for six weeks, the second level of expertise the person a massage therapist, or want to engage in any other source.In this period the energy channeling is done by resting your hands to alternate from the hospital?How does Reiki energy is part of the basic subject, have not had a healing art was lost.

“quick” life update while i wait for my ipod to charge

(do ppl even still use ipods in this day & age. whats spotify)

i never made any posts abt it but i started the new semester & im taking 2 classes, it’s funny actually bc i waited even more til the last minute than i usually do to figure out my classes & spent the 1st week of school trying to see a counselor to find out if i still needed classes and that’s a whole other story for a whole other day but long story short the answer was no but i decided to take a couple anyway

mainly because every time im not in school The Depression takes over & i just needed something to Do so im taking intermediate painting (even tho painting 1 made me want 2 die every day) and animation (even tho i’ve already decided i don’t want to be an animator????)

so heres the thing, okay, since these are classes i don’t need in order to fill any requirements or anything i had to pick them based on nothing, really, like my main reason for taking classes this semester was to give myself something to do, right. i picked painting because my friend had told me she was taking it so i was like yo i’ll just do that too bc we had fun last time & it’s a good way to stay in contact. originally that was gonna be my only class bc i knew it’d be a lot of work and time but then i talked to my school’s art counselor about transferring to another school after im graduated from here and i’d said i was maybe interested in storyboarding so we looked at schools with animation programs and i decided super last minute to just take the animation class here and Boy what a mistake

last semester i was talking on here about a computer art class i had considered taking but dropped bc it seemed kinda... shitty?? because i hated the way the teacher taught and i felt like i wasn’t gonna gain anything from the class??? well animation is taught by the same guy and hhhhhhhhh he’s so fucking unhelpful it’s such a nothing class

see i was hoping to learn some hand-drawn animation basics like timing, squash & stretch, the fucking bouncing ball assignment, shit like that, right. the teacher was like “today we’re gonna go over the 12 principles of animation” and i was like “sweet i’ve heard of that this’ll be good” & literally he brought up a list, read off most of the names, briefly described a few, and told us to google it if we wanted more info like?? holy shit dude????? thanks for nothing oh my god

i’ve been taking a lot of time practicing animating in flipnote studio on my 3ds and watching youtube videos and i’ve been learning so much more from that than anything explained by my teacher bc godddd. basically what the class boils down to is like. flash animation. so far we’ve been working in adobe illustrator and animate & i cannot stand illustrator. i know it’s a good and useful program and if i wanted to i could learn how to use it & eventually get used to it but just the way he teaches it makes me want 2 slam dunk my computer

the computer art basics class was strongly recommended to be taken before this class but tbh i don’t even think that’s the issue here because i tried to take that class and his method was the same; he does a demo on screen that you’re supposed to follow along and do with him and he explains what hes doing as he goes but he goes so fast that if u miss a step ur fucked 

and it’s not just that he goes fast, it’s also that theres no understanding of the program itself, like ok u know how in math there’s all these formulas where if u just plug numbers into them it gives u the right answer? i always understood formulas better when i knew what each variable stood for & why the values were being added or multiplied together because then it made it easier to extract the information i needed from word problems and also helped me memorize the formulas themselves easier because i could make those associations between numbers and purpose. i had the groundwork of the formula, so i could apply it to all kinds of situations

this class is like, he only gives you the very specific formulas required to accomplish very specific tasks in the programs so i can’t make the connections to figure out how to perform other tasks and i get super lost every time & it’s super frustrating & i could ask for help because he comes around and helps people who need it but i sit in the back corner so he never really even looks my way so i feel like i can’t get his attention w/o speaking up or getting up to go get him & i get lost so often that it’s really just a pain to ask him every single time

i just hate when i have a problem in one of the programs & i just have absolutely no clue how to fix it or even work around it? im used to photoshop and illustrator is just so opposite that my brain doesn’t want to work with it so im. 100% floundering in this class

we have 2 assignments during the whole semester, the first was a group project where we hand draw a 3-second animation (~30 frames) and that was literally the very first thing we did in the class with no prior guidance and honestly i suspect that the only reason he assigns it is to fill the requirement for a group project (which i know is a thing bc a lot of my past teachers have talked about it being a thing) so it was literally just. a nothing project

the second assignment is our final which is a 90-second animation (~1080 frames) and we have basically the rest of the semester to work on it, so about a month and a half-ish? and all we’ve learned how to do so far is motion tweening in animate, basically. i mean we did a ball-and-string thing which was kind of different but it mostly involved a lot of copy+paste bullshit in illustrator & also like automatic shortcuts & stuff, there was really no drawing involved at all

also it’s one of those classes where everyone just kind of messes around and does their own thing like?? i saw one girl reading manga on her computer & these two dudes at my table were comparing yugioh cards & i hear like 50 thousand conversations about anime every day & i mean im not one to talk tbh but it’s just the atmosphere, it feels like u either know what ur doing or u just fuck around w/ ur friends and im in the “neither of those” category and the girl who was reading manga is in the “both” category bc every other time i’ve looked over there she’s got this amazing masterpiece on her screen that she made in illustrator & i die inside every time what the fuckkc 

he showed us examples of final projects from last semester and i noticed that some of them were done traditionally or in programs that were obviously not illustrator so i asked him about it & he said it doesn’t have to be done in illustrator/animate as long as it’s 90 seconds long so Guess What i think i’m just gonna make it somewhere else lmaooo i mean i feel like it’s a missed opportunity bc i have these programs at my disposal & im not even using them but god amn. god fuckign damn

im thinking of animating it in flipnote bc that’s what i’ve been using & im pretty familiar with it by now but im not sure because there are some important things im not sure i’ll be able to accomplish with it like backgrounds (which are another requirement for the assignment) and i don’t want to back myself into a corner, especially with how little time i have to do it, so idk for sure. my other idea was to use clip studio paint but i have the pro version which only lets u use 24 frames per animation which totals out to a whopping 2 seconds so idk if i want to have to deal with that bullshit either. right now im considering making the rough animation in flipnote so i can figure out the timing & shit and then slapping it into clip studio to finalize everything (or technically i could even do that in photoshop, since im more familiar w/ it & can probably work faster there- from photoshop it’d be a matter of copying the finished frames into clip studio to export into 2-second clips & then compile those in movie maker & then bam finished animation)

so!!! it’s a lot of shit im dealing with in this class & im just like. if im doing it this way then why do i even need to show up for class. what am i even in this class for im just basically making an animation on my own time with my own resources using none of the techniques taught in the class. im only doing this animation because it’s an assignment for the class im not gaining anything from. it just seems so pointless & the only thing getting me through it is the thought that i could possibly put this in a portfolio somewhere down the line, and for that i’d want it to look nice and not rushed so im thinking that for the sake of finishing the assignment i might just use my rough animation so that i can spend more time on the “nice” version afterward

aaaanyway it’s um Late for me & i went on about this for too long but i needed to get it off my chest tbh, i’ve been thinking abt making this post for like 2 weeks so there u go. i didn’t even talk about my painting troubles good lord. if you’ve been wondering why i havent been online as much lately This is why. also bc im a huge loser and 100% of my free time has been going into watching anime bye

Not Alone

Request: Oh what about a Jhope scenario when he meets a girl who is cheerful but then she got a secret: she was a victim of bullying and things got too much for her and stress and pressure at school. When he was reading her diary, he knows that he will be the hero. Inspired by A Supplementary Story: You Never Walk Alone (maybe)? Thanks! BTW, You Don't Know Me made me cry a million pieces! ~Queennie

Genre: Fluff, Angst

Word Count: 2.299

Warnings: mentions of death and self-harm

A/N: this has been in my inbox forever but somehow i needed to write this tonight bc it’s been ages since i wrote about hobi!!! 

I didn’t proof read yet your gurl is too tired for that

ALSO I WANNA THANK YOU GUYS FOR ENJOYING MY WRITINGS SO MUCH AND HELPING ME IMPROVE THANKS TO Y’ALL I SLAYED MY FREAKING WRITING SKILLS MIDTERM AND DONT HAVE TO TAKE THE FINAL EXAM WOOP IM SO HAPPY

“Catch me if you can”, you giggled, turning around and sprinting away from your boyfriend, almost tripping over your own feet as the hill gently curved downwards. Your bare feet ran over the soft grass, head turning every few seconds, laughing at his figure behind you, trying to catch up with your own. Breath hitching in your throat, lungs and heart thumbing in your chest, your laughs echoed through the park before you felt his warm hands wrap around your waist, pulling you down with his falling body. A small scream escaped your lips, followed by laughs as you landed on the ground, his hands catching your fall

“Gotcha”, Hoseok whispered before placing his soft lips on yours, smiling into the kiss. You gently hit his chest, making him grin at you and raise his eyebrows.

“You cheated! You said you’d wait 5 seconds before coming after me!”, you pouted and poked his chest, making him laugh.

“Babe, that’s what I did. You’re just too slow”, he wiggled his eyebrows at you before kissing the tip of your nose and stroking a strand of hair behind your ear.

“Pfh yeah that’s what they all say...”, you whispered more to yourself but Hoseok seemed to have heard what you said, rolling off you and bursting into laughter, bringing you close to his chest. You felt his chest vibrate against your again, forming a content smile on your face before stroking his back softly with your hands. 

“I love you (Y/N)”, Hoseok laughed, sitting up and pulling you up with him, as you started picking the grass out of your hair. 

Throwing the bit you had in your hands at him, you grinned. “I know you idiot. I love you, too.”

His smile made butterflies erupt in your stomach and he pouted his lips at you in an attempt to appear cute, only making you laugh. “C’mon let’s go grab some ice cream, it’s too hot to be lying in the sun”, he suggested and stood up, shaking the grass off his pants before offering you his hand.

“Only if you let me pay this time”, you raised your eyebrows at him suggestively and he just grinned at you.

“We’ll see about that”, Hoseok answered as he kissed your temple, engulfing you in a tight hug before walking back to the spot you had left your shoes. He was ready to spent a nice evening with the girl that made his heart burst out of his chest, making him feel like the luckiest boy on Earth.

Hoseok felt his phone vibrate multiple times in his back pocket as he was trying to teach the boys the new choreography he had come up with for the upcoming comeback. He knew that it must be you needing something from him, otherwise you wouldn’t message him during practice, so he signaled the boys a two minute break and got his phone out of his pocket unlocking it in one swift move.

From: (Y/N)♕ ♥

hey

babe

baaaaaabe

babyyyyyyy  [delivered: 11:21am]

hobi

hoseok

jung hoseeeeeooookk [delivered: 11:22am]

He grinned at his phone, making the others look at him smugly.

“Hyung, is it (Y/N) you’re texting?”, Jungkook came up from behind, grinning at him, wiggling his eyebrows at his phone.

“Who else would it be smartass?”, Yoongi jawned from the back of the room, shooting Hoseok a knowing look.

“Why don’t you ever bring her over hyung?”, Taehyung whined, ploppling down next to Hoseok.

“Yeah we’d love to meet the girl that makes our cruel dance teacher stop just to answer her messages”, Jimin laughed and went through his hair with one hand before sipping on his water bottle and throwing it over to Taehyung, who caught it smoothly.

“Guys, stop. We just started going out, I can’t bring her over already. You’ll scare her away”, he rolled his eyes at his band mates but smiling softly at the thought of all of you together. They’d love you, he knew it. You were so cheerful and full of happiness, they couldn’t just not like you. 

“We won’t scare her away, what are you talking about! We’re lovable”, Taehyung exclaimed, pushing Jungkook away who was trying to grab the water bottle from his hyung. 

Hoseok huffed and turned to his phone. He heard the others rambling around but his thoughts were with you as he typed his response.

To: (Y/N) ♕ ♥

what’s up baby? :)

Read: 11:28am

Seconds later his phone signaled him your incoming reply.

From: (Y/N) ♕ ♥

i know you’re busy rn but when you have time can you please go to my apartment and check if you see my sketchbook there? it should be somewhere in my bedroom but i forgot it there this morning

i have work until 1 today but class starts at 1:15 so i dont have time to look for it myself.....

you dont have to if you dont have time though!!

His face lit up at your last message. Of course, he’d do that for you. He’d do anything for you, even though he wouldn’t admit that to himself. He’d never admit that he had fallen for you since the day he met you, serving him in the restaurant you worked at. Only two months had passed since then but he felt like he could never let you go again. His heart had wrapped itself around you and wouldn’t be able to let go that easily.

To: (Y/N) ♕ ♥

i’ll be there in 10

As he texted his reply, he got up, stretching one last time before throwing his phone into his bag and started moving towards the door. 

“We’l continue practice later guys. I gotta go”, he waved one quick goodbye before opening the door and stepping into the hall.

“Hoseok got a booty call!”, Jungkook chanted from the inside, everybody else joining in with laughter as Hoseok rolled his eyes at his friends and kept moving. 

He didn’t need a booty call to be by your side. 

Stepping into your bedroom, he let his bag fall onto the ground and started looking around. You had described your sketchbook as a little black booklet but nothing specific on it. So that was what he started looking for. First, he went straight to your desk as one would assume that a sketchbook would be placed there; in the working area of the room. With no results. So he turned around and let his gaze glide over the room, eyes falling onto your bedside table.

Maybe you were one of those who could draw and write the best before going to sleep.

Not thinking much of it, he stepped closer to the drawer, pulling the upper drawer open and - there it was! A black booklet lying on top of blank paper. 

Jackpot. That should be it.  

Hoseok grabbed the little notebook and sat down on your bed, closing the drawer again. Looking at the thing in his hands, he scratched his head.

Should I take a look? Hoseok thought, biting down on his lips.

She’s never shown me any of her drawings... 

“She probably wouldn’t mind, her class sees it too so one more person surely won’t bother her”, with that he opened the booklet, not faced with drawings but text. 

Texts with dates.

Smeared texts with dates.

Hoseok’s eyes went wide but stayed glued to the pages. Endless pages with a small handwriting, smeared at some spots and hastily written in other parts. 

“I wasn’t good enough.... they laughed at me again.... I can’t handle this any longer”

“What the...”, he whispered, opening a random page carefully. His fingers gently stroke over the paper before he started reading.

“Two weeks until school is done. I should be happy. Everybody’s excited for prom, going shopping and preparing for one of the most important days of their lives. Except for me. You know why? You probably already know.... everybody knows. Nobody asked me to be their date. Again. Not even one of the nerds. They’re all ashamed to be seen with me. I’m too gross for them. Too fat. Too ugly. Too dumb. Too shy. Too weird. Too-everything. They know I hurt myself, too. One of the kids at school grabbed me and pushed me against the lockers, accidentally making my sleeves roll up and then they saw. One would think that they’d realize it’s their fault and be shocked or feel guilty or something like that. But you know what they did? They laughed even more. Calling me pathetic. Attention whore. Liar. Stupid. Weak. Encouraging me to cut deeper. One of them said, and I quote “Here, have my razor maybe that one works better. Try it out in the bathtub, that way your parents won’t have to clean up that much of a mess when you finally bleed to death” and everybody laughed. Maybe that’s what I should do. Instead of just hurting myself, just completely disappear. Everyone hates me anyway. I can’t make anyone happy. My teacher scold me every day for not paying attention, my parents are sick of me spending their money, sick of me being their child, I don’t have any friends anymore and basically the whole school wants to see me dead. So why not do it? Why not just cut right through my veins and let all the blood run out?”  

Hoseok felt hot droplets of tears wetting his shirt and pants as sobs erupted through his body. Was this the same (Y/N) he knew today? This couldn’t be the same girl. His girl was cheerful, gloomy and always laughing, making everybody around her happy. How was it possible that she ever felt like this? Thought these horrible things about herself? That she had to go through hell when she was a literal angel?

His breath got caught in his throat as his sobs started to break out more hysterically and coughs shook his whole body.

He had to do something. You needed to know how he felt for you, how he needed you in his life and how you should never have those thoughts again. Never ever. Not as long as he was by your side.

“Hobi?”, you called out into your lighted apartment, softly taking off your shoes in the entrance and looking around. Stepping into your small space, you saw that the light in your bedroom was on, so you slowly walked towards the door.

Pushing it open and peeking inside, you saw Hoseok standing in front of your bed, facing the other way with his hands in his pockets and a small box placed on your bed.

“Hobi, what are you doing here?”, you smiled and entered, making him turn around, smiling at you sadly.

“(Y/N)”, he breathed out and immediately wrapped his arms around your small frame, hugging you tighter than you had ever felt him do before.

“What’s wrong baby?”, you mumbled into his chest, as he was still holding onto you, not seeming to let you go any time soon. Saying you were confused, would be an understatement.

“I prepared something for you”, Hoseok smiled and finally let go, moving you to your bed and signaling to the box.

“What is this for?”, you turned around, raising an eyebrow at your boyfriend. Something was fishy about that situation and you wanted to know what was going on. 

Hoseok scratched his neck in embarrassment and dropped his gaze. Stepping closer, you caressed his arm and smiled softly. 

“C’mon, you can tell me”, you tried to encourage him.

He closed his eyes for a second and then his strong gaze met your irritated one. “I read your diary.”

You still didn’t understand and waited for him to continue. When he didn’t say anything else, you asked: “And?”

He took a deep breath and exhaled again. “The entries from your high school times.”

“Oh”, was all you could say before a sad smile spread across your face, eyes blinking fast, trying to avoid the tears to fall out at the memories those words brought back.

“I-I prepared this for you (Y/N), so you know that you don’t ever have to feel like that again. I know that I can’t heal you from those thoughts completely but maybe it helps a little bit?”, he started rushing around the room, handing you the box quickly and opening it for you. Inside you saw multiple notes stacked on top of each other.

“What is this Hoseok?”, you whispered and took one in between you fingers.

“These are reasons why I fell for you. Things I love about you. Things you do that make me smile. Things that make you who you are and more lovable each day we spent together. Basically all ju-”, you cut him off by placing the box on the bed and grabbing his face in between your hands, pressing your lips onto his. Taking Hoseok off guard, it took him a few seconds to realize what was going on before his hands moved to your hips, bringing you closer to him.

As you two parted, he leaned his forehead against yours. “You’re the reason for m smile (Y/N), every day. You can always count on me, no matter what is going on, okay? If you’re not happy, I’m not happy. You make my heart feel warm and my whole body heat up just by glancing at me. You’re not alone, no matter how stony and long this road might be, I’ll be by your side. Always.”

Tears were rolling down your cheeks at his sweet gesture and he started kissing your cheeks, trying to kiss your tears away. Giggling, you slightly pushed him away to look into his eyes and caress his cheek.

“I love you Jung Hoseok”

“I love you more (Y/L/N) (Y/N)”

©jiminelli

As per the request of @my-insanity-is-irrelevant​, here goes nothing. Not even gonna reblog the ask meme post bc I’m literally answering every question rip

1. What is you middle name? Marie. #basic 2. How old are you? 19. 3. When is your birthday? May 31.  4. What is your zodiac sign? Gemini. I’m actually two people and they’re both snakes.  5. What is your favorite color? I honestly don’t have one, they all have their perks. I do tend to favor cooler and darker colors tho 6. What’s your lucky number? 7 and 9, but odd numbers tend to treat me nicely in general.  7. Do you have any pets? Three! A Boxer named Buster, and two 14 y/o cats named Asheley and Nadia. Here’s hoping for many more in the future. :’) 8. Where are you from? Born in Seattle, raised in the greater St. Louis area, and going to school in Muncie, IN.  9. How tall are you? 5′6″ 10. What shoe size are you? 8 in American women’s size. 11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? Oh lord. Probably like 15 because I refuse to get rid of any, but I only wear like 4. 12. What was your last dream about? Roller coasters and an ex being nasty. DJ Khaled was there.  13. What talents do you have? I’m fairly good at reading people, and also drawing. I’m also a quick learner, if that counts as a talent? 14. Are you psychic in any way? I wish. I have a weird force of karma that seems to follow the people who have hurt me around, but that could be coincidence. I’ve helped check other people’s energies (as well as my own) before, but my knowledge is limited and I don’t think I have the sense of self to pursue that right now. 15. Favorite song? At no point in my life have I had just one, but “Fury” by Muse and “Love is Mystical” by the Cold War Kids are up there right now.  16. Favorite movie? Wonder Woman was so, so good, y’all. I also like  17. Who would be your ideal partner? daisy ridley right now, my standards are both really low and really high. Just...someone I get along with and who gives a rat’s ass?  18. Do you want children? I think I might, yeah. Depends on who I end up with, but I like the idea of making small humans and showing them how the world works. Teaching others has always helped me figure shit out, anyway.  19. Do you want a church wedding? nooooo thank you 20. Are you religious? Not in the sense that I participate in organized religion, but I do believe in aspects of many different religions. I’m particularly fond of reincarnation. 21. Have you ever been to the hospital? I had to have my chin stitched up when I was like, 3. And also I had my tonsils out at 10.  22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? Nope, and I’d prefer to keep it that way.  23. Have you ever met any celebrities? I met Paramore the summer before my junior year, and I met Jensen, Jared, and Misha from SPN my senior year! 24. Baths or showers? Showers. 25. What color socks are you wearing? au naturale i’m barefoot bitches 26. Have you ever been famous? one time i did a drawing and it got 100 notes 27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? noooooo maybe C-list at most 28. What type of music do you like? I’ll listen to just about anything, but I lean towards alt rock, metal, punk, some indie if it isn’t too hippie-ish. 29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? nah 30. How many pillows do you sleep with? Like...7?  31. What position do you usually sleep in? On my stomach with my top half wrapped around a pillow or a blanket.  32. How big is your house? Two-story, four bedrooms. Parents raised three wild kiddos here 33. What do you typically have for breakfast? A smoothie or a sandwich when I’m actually up in time.  34. Have you ever fired a gun? No, but I’d like to at least try. 35. Have you ever tried archery? yes and i ain’t no katniss 36. Favorite clean word? Maverick (that’s one of many) 37. Favorite swear word? Fuck. it’s just so versatile 38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? 60 hours or so 39. Do you have any scars? On my heels, chin, thighs, hips, and over my wristbones. I’m clumsy, have pets, and have self-harmed. 40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? An anon flirted w me on Tumblr but it was someone in my French class, lel. Wasn’t a secret for too long. 41. Are you a good liar? White lies, yes. Big lies, noooo. 42. Are you a good judge of character? Generally? 43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? Not a whole lot on my own, but I’ll pick up anything I hear regularly. 44. Do you have a strong accent? Not really? I just kinda talk and drop bits of different accents here and there. I don’t think I have that much of a St. Louis accent. 45. What is your favorite accent? I have a soft spot for slight Southern accents. Eastern European and Australian are also awesome.  46. What is your personality type? sad 47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? A $120 jacket from Zumiez. It’s HUF brand but I bought it for the wolves on it tbh 48. Can you curl your tongue? Yes and it comes in handy w girlfriends 49. Are you an innie or an outie? Innie  50. Left or right handed? Right 51. Are you scared of spiders? I used to, but I’m getting better. They startle me but I’ve carried a wolf spider outside so 52. Favorite food? changes by the hour tbh tho chicken is always good 53. Favorite foreign food? Shepherd’s Pie.  54. Are you a clean or messy person? Clean, but disorganized. My room is cluttered but not like, dirty.  55. Most used phrase? "Oh my god.” 56. Most used word? like 57. How long does it take for you to get ready? depends. not usually over 45 minutes unless I’m getting Fancy.  58. Do you have much of an ego? Not really.  59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? Yes. 60. Do you talk to yourself? More than anyone else. 61. Do you sing to yourself? Yes, especially when I can’t hear my own voice. 62. Are you a good singer? N o 63. Biggest Fear? Forgetting and being forgotten. 64. Are you a gossip? drama that don’t involve me is the best drama 65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen? Goodwill Hunting aaaaaa 66. Do you like long or short hair? On myself, defs long. I love pulling it back too much for short.  67. Can you name all 50 states of America? Yep! I 68. Favorite school subject? English. Also psychology.  69. Extrovert or Introvert? Extrovert with trust issues, abandonment issues, and that shuts down a lot. and also clinical depression 70. Have you ever been scuba diving? No, but I’ve been snorkeling! 71. What makes you nervous? Anything has the potential to make me nervous, tbh. But not knowing things is The Worst 72. Are you scared of the dark? Oh god yes 73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? I do when it’s something small. Big mistakes are things you gotta figure out for yourself. 74. Are you ticklish? Less and less over time, tbh.  75. Have you ever started a rumor? Never on purpose. I’ve heard a few things I’ve said get distorted and spread but I try to Cut That Shit Out Quick 76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? I was a President of a few clubs in high school, captain of the swim team, and a manager for the track and cross country teams.  77. Have you ever drank underage? Whenever I can, tbh. Not even to get drunk, necessarily, it just tastes good 78. Have you ever done drugs? Only weed with a close friendo of mine. I also may have saved a few narcotics from my wisdom tooth removal for a rainy day 79. Who was your first real crush? My best friend in middle school. That was a doozy.  80. How many piercings do you have? I have doubles in my ears, so 4. I’d like triples and possibly a septum piercing.  81. Can you roll your Rs? Yep! Sometimes I do it by accident when speaking 82. How fast can you type? Not very tbh 83. How fast can you run? That depends on why I’m running. 84. What color is your hair? Dirty blonde. 85. What color are your eyes? Blue-gray. 86. What are you allergic to? Certain kinds of deodorant and also tumblr 87. Do you keep a journal? I mean I scribble down stream of consciousness shit when trying to Cope w things, but I don’t keep one regularly.  88. What do your parents do? Dad’s an engineer, mom’s the HR person for a whackass ad company w fun people 89. Do you like your age? I mean I’d rather be able to legally drink, but I’m a legal adult but it doesn’t feel Real yet so I guess it ain’t all bad 90. What makes you angry? When people are mean for literally no good reason. 91. Do you like your own name? it’s aiight. people trying to pronounce my last name is amusing 92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? I like the name Oliver a lot for a guy? But really I guess it’d depend on my what my wife likes 93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? dog 94. What are your strengths? I know people and can communicate pretty well, and I’m generally good at being pretty friendly. Also I can swim so if someone throws me in the water the joke is on them 95. What are your weaknesses? Can’t be left alone for long periods of time, relying on one person for everything, and ignoring myself and other friends, compulsive tendencies, and an overall obsessive personality. 96. How did you get your name? Named after my dad’s grandma, iirc. Except Claire instead of Clara.  97. Were your ancestors royalty? I’m sure someone was idk 98. Do you have any scars? didn’t I answer this already 99. Color of your bedspread? Black and white at home, orange and purple in my dorm. 100. Color of your room? Very dark forest green. I like it lots.

lmao im kind of afraid of talking to my profs from major thesis project course about my project, cause im THIS CLOSE to going off on both of their stuck up faces. I didn’t want to talk about this on this blog for at least a month now cause i know its gonna turns to 30 paragraphs and everybodys gonna hate me for that. but i have to talk abt this now cause i gotta cope lol!!! 

i s2g everybody in the class knows that they have been anything but helpful when it comes to supervising our project, and their suggestions are usually so subjective af. The fact that they structure a 4th year THESIS course with full year course load into ONE TERM is already hazardous as it is, they literally failed several people’s mid term progress report presentation on ARBITRARY TERMS (i passed, fortunately, but my grade was not pretty). it was twenty fucking five present of people’s overall grade, and it’s not like people didn’t meet the very VAGUE guideline they provided for this presentation--which is just to show them what we have done so far. It was a progress report, and I’ve talked to several people in class about it, we all agree that we are not supposed to be graded on WHETHER OR NOT THEY LIKE OUR WORK OR NOT, they are supposed to grade us on how much we’ve done. In their feedback for me, they makes suggestions of what i should have done and it’s like??? well you didn’t tell anyone what you wanted from this presentation, so are we supposed to just KNOW? Also, they literally could not muster a convincing reason for FAILING PEOPLE in the class on that mid term presentation!! and 5 fucking people went to the department head about their shit experience in the course, and if worst comes to worst, i WILL be the sixth person to go the department head. 

last time i talked to one of them--frances-- about my project, she obviously didn’t like my unfinished rough cut of my short film, and decided that it was garbage based on that. Like i didnt do sound editing, colour correction--ANYTHING yet, i just put together some raw footage!!! she hasn’t even SEEN the entire thing, and I’m drawing inspiration from a director with very volatile and strange visual style and editing! A director that she obviously isn’t at all familiar with!!! (its wong kar wai, btw) SHIT even some of his films are hard to appreciate if you are not used to his kind of cinematography, and he’s a internationally acclaimed director that shoots his films on A. BUDGET, with PROFESSIONAL ACTORS WHO ARE MOVIE STARS, professional cinematographer and a decent sized crew of professional people, AS WELL AS BOUGHT EQUIPMENT THAT PROBABLY DOESN’T BREAK ALL THE TIME. Whereas im a film student shooting with no crew, no help from my goddamn profs that are supposed to supervise our projects, and shitty ass equipment that does not WORK sometimes (it’s such a thrill to work with audio equipment because oh bOY sometimes the shotgun mic just doesn’t record for no reason lol).

Honestly ive been really fucking depressed bc of this project, well im depressed in general but there is also this fucking project that makes it worse but its fine lol, and bc of that i had a hard time even touching the project. I reshoot two core scenes last Sunday and that’s all i fucking did. We are supposed to present our WIP for final feedback this week before presenting our work for real next week, and obviously im not ready since i can’t edit this film i just can’t. Every time i opened the editing program, and started editing i just couldn’t do it after a while cause i felt like no matter what i do its gonna be horrible and i will get a bad grade on my final project. I started to doubt my script, i started to doubt everything, and i couldn’t edit anything after Frances basically passed final value judgement on a VERY ROGH AND WIP version or something she doesnt like or yet to understand. And its stupid, but because of that fear of not achieving what i wanted to achieve, i couldn't do much editing. After I talked to Frances 1-2 weeks ago, i accommodated by planning to make a video essay to give context to the short film i will be screening either fucking way. I was gonna do a paper before deciding to concentrate on shooting the film. Frances straight up told me that i shouldn’t even show this film, she’s like “do you want to show people this?”, yes bitch i actually do, and how do u know its gonna be shitty when it’s NOT EVEN close to finished??? 

im just ranting here so i can calm myself down a little before going to see her today. I had good experiences in three of her classes before (got all As from them), PLUS she WROTE my reference letters for grad school, so i dont really want to end up in her bad book; but i know shes not the best prof and i took issue with how she structured her courses before (dude i learned NOTHING from screenwriting class, cause she just goes through the processes of writing a ten page screenplay and that’s fucking it. it doesnt matter i got an A from that course i just didnt learn much). Believe me, i was raised to not question teachers’ teaching methods and authorities, and if i take issues with profs and teachers it’s usually because they have done something seriously wrong. I dont think they gonna budge on giving me a better grade for mid term, but at least i want her to know what my main argument is in the video essay, just so i know if she has any constructive criticisms to give, because there is no point showing her a slightly updated version of the rough cut lol. im gonna have to muster all the strength i have to at least make the video essay by tomorrow morning to show to the class, and maybe a good clip from the film. Jesus Fucking Christ, i actually need this course to graduate cause its a 400 level 4th year course. Even tho i dont think im gonna fail i kinda want a decent grade for this course lol.