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#i also had to wait until i got home so I could upload more than 10 photos -_-
promiscuousasexual · 2 months
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i waited until i had all the drivers to post this, took me until this morning actually
here’s the garages in saudi arabia having all the drivers’ names in cursive arabic!! :
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red bull
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mercedes
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ferrari
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mclaren
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aston martin
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alpine
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williams
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vcarb/RB/visa cash app RB/idk
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stake
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haas
edit :
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and here's ollie bearman's!
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ador3sturniolo · 6 months
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Stargirl
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An - omg I feel like I haven’t posted in a year what. Okay so earlier this week I went to a hockey game, and something happened while I was there and I wanted to write a fic about it. And I wanted to do Nate because I love Nate, and we need more Nate fics out there asap. And the song has nothing to do with the fic, it was the song I kept playing while writing this 😭
Paring - Nathan Doe X FemReader
Summary - You go to one of Nate’s hockey games
Warnings - Kissing, NOT PROOFREAD
Requested - Nope
ALSO YALL, I FIRST WROTE THIS IN THE BEGINNING OF OCTOBER SO THERE WILL BE HALLOWEEN THEMED THINGS HERE, SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO UPLOAD
I hadn’t realize how late I had slept in until I heard my alarm go off more than 30 times, most of which I had just sleep through. I check the time and see it’s a little past 3. Shit. I had so much to do and had it all planned out. I was to clean my house, get a gift for Nate, go grocery shopping, and decorate for fall. I’ll just eat some food while I’m out but right now, I need to clean up my place. I have u til 6:30 to get everything done on my list. Considering Nate’s game starts at 7.
I clean my house, lighting candles and turning on fairy lights I have setup around my house. I take a quick shower and put on my freshly clean clothes. I do a slick back bun, not trying to do anything fancy. I get into my car and make a quick stop at Starbucks to get a drink. I also did an online order for my favorite lunch place in town so it’s ready for pickup when I get there. I pickup my lunch and eat in my car as I drive to target. I put my Starbucks in the cup holder of my cart and push it too the food section.
I grab my list of food and start putting it in my cart. I decided to grab some cookie dough for me and Nate to back after his game. I go over to the floral section and grab a bag of white, blue, and purple pair and place it in my cart. I’m on my way towards check out when I spot the cutest pair of matching pj sets. There was a vampire, pumpkin, and ghost option. They were all so cute but I decided to get the ghost ones. I check out and go home to eat dinner and decorate.
I decided to make something, quick, easy, and delicious. I play my fall playlist as I grab my last year bin full of pumpkins, signs, pillows and blankets. It only takes me around 30 minutes considering I cleaned earlier. I looked at the time, with not much time left I had to get ready. I put the totes back and head to my room. I put on a pair of leggings and his hockey jersey that he gave me. I take out my hair and do two French braids. I take some face paint type makeup I have and write his number on my cheek.
I put on my shoes and grab his flowers and teddy I bought him earlier that week. I grab a blanket so I don’t get cold at the rink. I drive to the rink in only 10 minutes. I head inside and get a ticket. I’m greeted inside by the triplets. They all look over at me and walk my way.
“Finally, we’ve been waiting for like 5 hours” Nick says rolling his eyes
“Nick, we got here 5 minutes ago-“ Matt chimed in
“Oh hush.” Nick says, crossing his arms, clearly annoyed.
“I’m so excited to watch my boyfriend play!” Chris says clapping his hands. Nick, Matt and I slowly turn towards Chris, giving him a confused look.
“Fine, I can’t wait to watch her boyfriend play” Chris says sarcastically but rolling his eyes.
“That’s what I thought.” I say pushing Chris a little bit jokingly. We all walk to the rink, getting a rush of cold air as the door opens. I could feel goosebumps approaching my skin. I wrap the blanket around my shoulders and sit down with the triplets. We sat and waited for the game to start. It only took a couple scrolls on insta before the players came walking out of the locker room and onto the ice to warmups. It wasn’t hard for me to find him, considering I had his number imprinted into my brain. Before I the warmups ended, I went to the snack bar and got myself a water and chips for me and the triplets. I head back just in time for the game to start. We all stand up and start to cheer, like the rest of the crowd. I only had my eye on one player the whole time. Every time he scored a point and I would jump up and down and scream for him. The three looked at me like I was insane but I didn’t care.
The game was over and Nate’s team won! We all wait for Nate outside of the locker room to finish up, but before he comes out I need to use the restroom. I come back not too long and see the brothers talking to a man I wanted to hug the first I saw him on the ice. He noticed me and started walking towards me. I ran up to him and gave him a hug.
“You did great tonight, I’m so proud of you.” I say giving him a peck on the lips.
“And these are for you.” I handed him the flowers and teddy bear, he then looked up at me with a smile that would make my heart melt.
“Thank you so much baby.” He said as he went to the side of me and wrapped his arm around my waist. He turned back and waved to the brothers as he started to walk with me out of the building. I help him load his things into my car, and we get inside the car after.
“So I had a really fun night planned out for us, but if you don’t want to do it, that’s okay and we can do something else.”
“It’s whatever makes you happy my love” I couldn’t help but blush at his words.
“So, my house is all decorated and I had candles going so it smells really good in there, and the house is clean so a bonus! And I was thinking we could make cookies and watch a movie together? And there’s also a surprise with that.” I say almost out of my seat from how happy I was.
“If that’s what you wanna do.” He says smiling back at me.
“Of course it’s what I want to do, but I wanted to know if u wanted to do it.” I say turning on my car, pulling out of the parking lot.
“I’m okay with anything you want to do.” He says looking out the window. I smile as I continue to drive back to my place. I pull into my driveway and get out of my car.
“Let’s take showers first tho.” I say unlocking my front door. He nods as I unlock the door and walk in. We take off our shoes at the front and walk to my room where my shower is.
“I’ll go first, I’ll be quick.” I say as I start to take out my hair. I hop in the shower and wash my face, get out, and wrap myself in a towel. I walk out into my room and too my closet, telling him it’s his turn on my way. He gets off the small couch I have in my room and head into the bathroom. I quickly get dressed into the pajamas I just bought for us. I sit down at my vanity and start doing my night skincare. I hear the shower turn off and with Nate walking out with the towel around his waist. He points at the pair of clothes on my bed.
“What’s this?”
“It’s yours, to wear! Tonight! To match with me!” I say turning around, show I’m in the matching set. He gives me a sigh but walks with it into the bathroom to get changed. I do a little clap of achievement, as I turn back around to finish my skincare. I hear the bathroom door open and see him walk out, giving me a sigh and looking down in disappointment.
“Hey! You look amazing! Don’t give me that I hate this energy, it’s supposed to be fun!” I say putting all my things away and getting up.
“I feel so weird in this.” He says throwing his hands like a baby
“Why? You look so cute!” I say walking towards him.
“Can I just take the shirt off? It feels tight.” He says scratching his neck
“Not yet! I wanna take a picture” I say grabbing my phone out. His arm wraps around my waist as I put the mode to 0.5x and turn on the flash. We smoosh our heads together doing a kissy face as I take the picture. I look at the picture to make sure it was okay then I put my phone down.
“Okay, let go make some cookies” I say kissing his cheek and walking out of my room. He follows close behind me. I grab a pack a Pillsbury cookies from the fridge and preheat the oven.
“How about you put on 6, and I put on 6” I say grabbing a tray from my cabinet.
“Good with me” He says giving me a smile
“Can I take my shirt off now?” He says whining
“Fine, Stop acting like a baby” I say as I start to put on my cookies.
We both finish putting on our cookies and put them in the oven. I walk over to my couch and turn on the tv.
“What would you like to watch?” I say looking up at him.
“I don’t know, you pick.” He says sitting down next to me
“Mhm, Corpse Bride? The Nightmare Before Christmas?” I say leaning back and laying my head on his chest
“Corpse Bride, The Nightmare Before Christmas is a Christmas movie.”
“No it’s not!” I say as I scoff
“It is tho!”
I shake my head and get up to go take the cookies out. I put them on a plate and organize them in a cute way. I bring the plate to the couch along with a blanket.
“Hold the plate while I put the blanket on us.” I say handing him the plate. I sit down, covering our legs and a little bit of my waist. He sets the plate down on the blanket.
“Do you like tonight?” I say putting my head on him again.
“Of course” He says kissing my head. I smile in happiness that I was able to make tonight special.
“I love you” I say lifting my head up.
“I love you more” He says giving me a peck on my lips
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An - OML I AM SO SORRY ML FOR NOT POSTING FOR A MONTH. I KNOW THIS ONE IS BAD BUT I FELT LIKE I NEEDED TO POST SOMETHING OR I CANT FUNCTION RIGHT SO HERE IS THIS 🫶🏼
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ladythornofrivia · 8 months
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popsicle
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pair: sanzu x reader
warnings: cheating, sanzu being naughty, and toxic husband with profanity, secret affair, mentions of depression, mentions of insecurities, sanzu being h*rny and flirty, sanzu being a douchebag, but still lovable in his own way.
a/n: sorry being inactive. i’ve been obsessed with Getou, hence I changed my username. oh yes, i also have an ao3 account, yay!
• On a hot summer day, you stayed at the house, waiting for your husband to come home. It happens quite often when you’re bored and repressed by the expectations of what it means to be a good wife. Cleaning, pampering, and the means of being a “tidy wife”.
• Your husband didn’t come home that night. The food you prepared went into the fridge or at the trash bin, sometimes you ate the whole meal to a point where a husband shames your big appetite. Kept bragging about how the girls in porn magazines have much better figure and features. You couldn’t help but to feel down. You know that in your heart the girls in magazines have more plastic than the ocean combine.
• One morning, you overheard him talking in his sleep, moaning, even. You didn’t want the noise so you slept on the couch. Though when you went to the bathroom, you overheard your husband talking, awake. You have no clue to who he was talking to, but his expression said otherwise. And it wasn’t promotion.
• The next morning, your husband was nowhere to be found. And feeling a little lonely, the urge to touch yourself from the tightness in your pajama pants, so you quickly went onto the couch, took off your clothes, and tried to find a pornographic video you could find on your phone. From there, you stumbled across the video, also in the couch, you find yourself watching a gorgeous man with long pink hair and teal eyes under the long white lashes, brutally pounding his dick inside the girl’s cunt. With a girl’s whiny moans, it was almost a deal breaker, but with a gorgeous man before your eyes, he winked at the camera and sped up his thrusts against her. You finger coated with cum, but it wasn’t enough. You wanted more. You wanted to be in the same position as the girl on the video.
• And with that, you found yourself lucky with enough time in the house, wanting to be seen on the internet. At first you posted videos and selfies on the account, taking three shots until finding a perfect photo, but decided to upload all of them together. Then you decided to become as a part-time cam girl. Doing a first video of masturbation was awkward at first. So you took a shower and put a lot of skincare to make an effort of looking flawless on screen first. The moment the awkward tension has gone down, you sat down, without undergarments, with your spread legs, your fingers dipped down into the hole as your breasts bounced for every movement shifted. Coming down from a high climax was real accomplishment, thus planning to have more brand new lingerie to tease the audience.
• The next morning, your account on the cam website blown up. Your cam girl views went viral through pornographic websites, your figure is and your skin are lustrous and flawless. Even on the tweets, you have gone viral—your body has gone viral. Many likes and many comments. And all the pornstars wanted to collab with you. Most of all, what got your attention is when Sanzu subtweeted your videos and commented on every single pictures you posted, praising you with dirtiest comments.
• Everything is perfect. Except the efforts of keeping secrecy from your husband, living as a double life will be impossible, unless blurting out that you’re making good money from the elicit websites. With your husband ignoring your existence, it should be easy, despite being hurtful by his intentions. At night, you waited for him to fall asleep to do your naughty sessions online. More views had gone up, and with your social media accounts, pornstars have bombarded you with not so flirting and thirsting. You ignored all of them except for the gorgeous man with pink hair who goes by the name of Sanzu. Sanzu is the most popular pornstar/camboy. Although you’ve seen him from the screen, you wanted to know what he sounds like.
•Even in your dreams, you dreamt of him fucking you in you and your husband’s bed. Everything were hopes and dreams, but then days changed when your friend decides to set up a group hangout, you and your friends hung out at the department store to wear for the karaoke. Accidentally bumping against a tall frame, you apologized immediately, you looked up and saw tall men in suits. When one was about to grip on your shirt, the other man stepped in and told the other guy to back off. You immediately noticed the long pink hair, but you have never seen a gorgeous face with diamond-shaped scars. Maybe you’ve mistaken the man for Sanzu. Maybe he isn’t Sanzu. He looks like him, but he looks terrifying.
• Though you weren’t the only one checking him out. Sanzu checked you out with a long teasing glimpse and gave a smirk. For a while it’s been awkward full of groups, but eventually you and Sanzu hit it off, hanging out and singing in the karaoke. Sanzu wanted to be alone with you; he figured out who you are based on your birthmark on your neck; your hair style tucked at the backside. He couldn’t help but to flirt with you more as you separated your ways from the group. Luckily your husband wasn’t home.
• Sanzu bought two popsicles—both strawberry flavored—a perfect way to savor the sweet, hot summer. As you relished the taste of popsicle, Sanzu couldn’t help but noticed your tongue swirling on the tip, then trailed down at the length. When he cleared his throat, you looked up at him, realizing what you’ve done, thus behaving like a good girl.
• You and Sanzu talked until he said, “I know who you are. I did my research after my own live stream. You’re (y/n), the girl with good grades and reputation, never drink or do drugs, never had sex, even with your husband. Your husband won’t be home for a while; he’s out with his mistress. He always leaves early and arrives here later at night.”
• You staggered, licking your lips as you stare at Sanzu drinking and eating the sight of him like a popsicle. “How did you know?”
• Sanzu chuckled, trailing his fingers onto your skin. “I know my ways of knowing everybody. You’re aware of the organization that controls the area you’re living in right now. I kill traitors and cheaters alike. Sanzu, second commander in Bonten, to King Mikey.”
• You figured it was Bonten, the infamous group who tries to patrol every street and buildings. Living in a shelter is too much of getting your naïveté to grow.
• “Open yourself up to me, and I can show you ways of what it means to have a man inside you,” he coerced, lifting your leg inch by inch.
• With a comply, you let Sanzu ripped its way into you with his cock, rocking his hips as your couch creaked. Moaning, your arms strapped around his muscled body, breathing and moaning into his ears. Sanzu chuckled, kissing your neckline. “Hold onto me, kitty. It’s going to be a bumpy ride. Just for a record, I don’t have condom with me.”
• His efforts on making you feel satisfied, your needs of pleasure came soon to an end, but you don’t want it to end. Sanzu felt sadness in you, so he gave you his phone number. But since you don’t have a smartphone—restricted by your husband, he gave you his spare phone, and has another one in his other pocket. And within days, you and Sanzu talked, as if you guys have known each other for a long time. Each time you texted Sanzu, you feel elated as if single. But feeling guilty each time your husband’s footsteps came. Hiding your double life and a phone from Sanzu wasn’t easy. Your husband wanted to spend time with you, but you declined and said you’re heading out for shopping groceries and clothes, when all you did was fucking Sanzu in his penthouse.
• After months on spending each other’s company, you came back into your house and your husband beaten you almost to death, saying how unreliable and liar you are. The next day, you couldn’t face Sanzu, but Sanzu figured out your husband beaten you up to a point he ordered his men to kidnap your husband and kill him without remorse. After that, for a while you haven’t seen your husband, not that you care, of course, and Sanzu eventually came into your place, notifying you of your husband’s passing. You knew your husband’s dead, and delved into Sanzu’s arms, crying.
•Kissing at the top of your hair, Sanzu said, “You should move in with me. Pack your most valuable things and we can fuck each other as long as we like. I can treat you better than that man. You’re special to me, (y/n). And I don’t ever plan on letting you go. I’ve seen the way you lick the popsicle, and I can’t help but feel a little jealous.” Thus he unveiled his mask, and kissed onto your lips, with a following of slow and sensual fucking—no cameras and live stream involved. Your life is in content with Sanzu, and with Sanzu, your freedom has been granted more than ever.
• “Get down on your knees,” he said, gripping your hair softly. “I want you to lick me like a popsicle.”
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papercupids · 1 year
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home - kim mingyu
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pairing -> kim mingyu x reader
genre -> way too much fluff.
summary -> an year after that confession, you're so glad to have mingyu by your side, and hope he stays that way, forever.
a/n -> this can be read as a standalone but i wrote it after writing "a second longer," so this is the part two for it. also apologies for uploading shorter works, but i've got a good one for mingyu's birthday for sure !! :)
word count -> 400+
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When you entered the apartment, it was out of a romcom movie, with petals lining the floor and the smell of vanilla candles gracing the air, knowing mingyu, though this wasn’t unexpected. He always loved going out of his way to show his love for you. 
And there he was, setting the table, his hair which had grown out for the time being were disheveled as he seemed to mutter something to himself as he prepared the table, you walk slowly behind him and place a stray strand behind his ear, to which he looks back surprised and then smiles, and then wrapping his arms around you. 
“Look who it is!”
With the both of you smiling ear-to-ear, it was a moment you would never forget, small moments like these when you were so sure of yourself, and this, the connection you shared with this person that you wanted it to last beyond forever. 
“You didn’t need to do this, gyu,” you say softly, he didn’t need to, but you appreciate what he did, part of loving him was understanding his love language and speaking to him in the same language so you take out your bag and open the zipper.
“Wait, wait, close your eyes,” 
And you take out the paper ring you made, and place it on his ring finger, when he open his eyes and grins with his fangs on full display, this paper ring has made him more happy than anything worth millions has.
“Until i put a real one here,”
You kiss him, and it doesn’t feel any different than the first time, he doesn’t fail to make you feel like you’re the most important person in his world, and stagnation point? Never heard of it. Everyday is just something new, like rereading your favourite book and finding new lines everyday that you love. You don’t think you could grow sick of reading it.
Dinner was perfect, your favourite pasta, your favourite wine and your favourite person, you don’t think it could get any better than this.
Later, when you’re on the sofa, watching something you can’t pay less attention to but mingyu is laughing at, you look at him and feel nostalgic for the both of you an year ago, they were oblivious to so many great moments you’d spend together in that one year, and then hopeful, for the next few years that you would spend with him and probably look back at this moment. 
You've found your home, kim mingyu. 
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superlinguo · 2 months
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Research Data Management. Or, How I made multiple backups and still almost lost my honours thesis.
This is a story I used to tell while teaching fieldworkers and other researchers about how to manage their data. It’s a moderately improbable story, but it happened to me and others have benefited from my misadventures. I haven't had reason to tell it much lately, and I thought it might be useful to put into writing. This is a story from before cloud storage was common - back when you could, and often would, run out of online email storage space. Content note: this story includes some unpleasant things that happened to me, including multiple stories of theft (cf. moderately improbable). Also, because it's stressful for most of the story, I want to reassure you that it does have a happy conclusion. It explains a lot of my enthusiasm for good research data management. In Australia, 'honours' is an optional fourth year for a three year degree. It's a chance to do some more advanced coursework and try your hand at research, with a small thesis project. Of course, it doesn't feel small when it's the first time you've done a project that takes a whole year and is five times bigger than anything you’ve ever written. I've written briefly about my honours story (here, and here in a longer post about my late honours supervisor Barb Kelly) . While I did finish my project, it all ended a bit weirdly when my supervisor Barb got ill and left during the analysis/writing crunch. The year after finishing honours I got an office job. I hoped to maybe do something more with my honours work, but I wasn't sure what, and figured I would wait until Barb was better. During that year, my sharehouse flat was broken into and the thief walked out with the laptop I'd used to do my honours project. The computer had all my university files on it, including my data and the Word version of my thesis. I lost interview video files, transcriptions, drafts, notes and everything except the PDF version I had uploaded to the University's online portal. Uploading was optional at the time, if I didn't do that I probably would have just been left with a single printed copy. I also lost all my jewellery and my brother’s base guitar, but I was most sad about the data (sorry bro). Thankfully, I made a backup of my data and files on a USB drive that I kept in my handbag. This was back when a 4GB thumb drive was an investment. That Friday, feeling sorry for myself after losing so many things I couldn't replace, I decided to go dancing to cheer myself up. While out with a group of friends, my bag was stolen. It was the first time I had a nice handbag, and I still miss it. Thankfully, I knew to make more than one back up. I had an older USB that I'd tucked down the back of the books on my shelf (a vintage 256MB drive my dad kindly got for me in undergrad after a very bad week when I lost an essay to a corrupted floppy disk). When I went to retrieve the files, the drive was (also) corrupted. This happens with hard drives sometimes. My three different copies in three different locations were now lost to me.
Thankfully, my computer had a CD/DVD burner. This was a very cool feature in the mid-tens, and I used to make a lot of mixed CDs for my friends. During my honours project I had burned backed up files on some discs and left them at my parents house. It was this third backup, kept off site, which became the only copy of my project. I very quickly made more copies. When Barb was back at work, and I rejoined her as a PhD student, it meant we could return to the data and all my notes. The thesis went through a complete rewrite and many years later was published as a journal article (Gawne & Kelly 2014). It would have probably never happened if I didn’t have those project files. I continued with the same cautious approach to my research data ever since, including sending home SD cards while on field trips, making use of online storage, and archiving data with institutional repositories while a project is ongoing.
I’m glad that I made enough copies that I learnt a good lesson from a terrible series of events. Hopefully this will prompt you, too, to think about how many copies you have, where they’re located, and what would happen if you lost access to your online storage.
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The Book Keeper
Kili x Reader
Fandom: Tolkien
Summary: On an unsuspecting summer afternoon, Gandalf the Gray shows up on your front porch and, much like he did to Bilbo, sweeps you up into an adventure you never could have imagined. With the knowledge of things to come, will you be able to change the ending?
Note: For my sanity, we’re pretending the book describes the dwarves the way they look in the movies. Also I’m gonna deviate a bit from book canon and dip my toes (more like my entire leg) into movie canon just because things flow a little better that way. Also also, I took some liberties with the Dwarvish courting customs. I will probably also be uploading this to AO3 at some point, separated into chapters for easier navigation. 
Bear with me and behold my Magnum Opus.
Warnings: canon-typical violence, the Hobbit spoilers, alcohol/drinking, some angst but a fluffy ending, mentions of injuries, kind of a slow burn but very fluffy
Word Count: 45k
Reader Is: Female, from our world, 23 years old
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Stuck. You were stuck. You read the last few sentences back to yourself, but they didn’t make anything click. You’d lost your steam and now, you were stuck once again.
Writing was a lot harder than it looked, that was for sure, but writing something fantasy? You were finding the task nearly impossible. When you’d started the project several months before, it had seemed so fun. You’d grown up on Narnia, on Lord of the Rings. Building your own fantasy world would be quite the task, you’d known, but perhaps you didn’t know quite how time consuming it would be, let alone when you added in the characters and their characterizations, which fantasy creatures to include, how the magic would work, how the weapons would work and so on and so forth.
Thinking about it too much gave you a headache, so you sat back in your chair, closing your laptop. Maybe you needed a break. Some more caffeine, maybe, some stretches for your strained neck and sore wrists.
You stood up and walked to the kitchen to make yourself an iced coffee, filling a glass halfway with ice before pouring in some cold brew and milk. You slipped a bamboo straw into your drink and stirred the liquids until they were better acquainted with one another.
You looked around the kitchen, thinking. This was your parents’ house. You’d moved back in with them after graduating college until you could figure out what to do with your degree. Your dream, of course, was to be a full time writer, to adventure, to find inspiration for a great story, but for now, you were working part time at the local book store, writing your stories in the time you were at home.
Most days, you were left to your own devices, your parents out of the house and the place all to yourself. It was quiet. Kind of lonely, if you were honest, and so you spent most of your days escaping into movies, books, and your own fantasy world. It was kind of monotonous. You couldn’t even count how many days you’d lost this way.
“Is this what burnout feels like?” You wondered, chuckling and shaking your head. It probably was, you reasoned. You’d spent so long at school that now that you were done, you didn’t really know what to do with your life, and…even if you did, you didn’t have the energy to do it.
You let out a long sigh, which was interrupted by the ringing of your doorbell.
Maybe it was the lap desk you’d ordered on Amazon, you thought in passing, walking in that direction. But when you got there, there was no box sitting on the porch. Instead, there was a tall man in a gray cloak and a gray pointy hat standing there.
“Um, hi?” You asked, your eyes narrowing at the stranger, who you were beginning to believe wasn’t just someone cosplaying Gandalf.
“(Y/N) (L/N),” He grinned. “I’ve been waiting to meet you for quite some time, now.”
“Gandalf?” You asked, and he nodded, seemingly proud of your answer.
“Hello, dear girl.” He tipped his hat to you. “May I come in?”
And while there was some part of you telling you this was simply too good to be true, another, more desperate part of you knew if he was real, he wouldn’t be here without good reason. “Uh, yeah, of course. Come on in.”
So, you made him a cup of tea and the two of you settled in to the couch in your living room. Gandalf looked around, amused by your house. He’d seen many houses in his time, although none quite so…modern. It wasn’t often he got the pleasure of travelling to your realm.
“So you’re…the Gandalf. Gandalf the Gray. From…the Tolkien books and stuff.” You wondered, sipping your iced coffee, still in a state of total shock. Maybe you’d fallen asleep at the keyboard and this was nothing more than an exhausted hallucination, cooked up by your writer’s block.
“Quite the same.” He nodded, a glimmer of amusement in his wise eyes. “I’m sure you’re wondering what I’m doing here.”
“Yeah, I…I am.”
“You see, I’m in need of some assistance. For an adventure. One you are…quite familiar with.”
You stared at him for a long time before remembering you should say something. “I’m not sure what you mean.”
“Oh I think you do.” Gandalf took a long sip from your Captain America mug. “Is there not a book you read in your youth that you wished…had a different ending, perhaps? One you loved very dearly, but…one of the characters you cared for had their own ending cut short…”
You gulped and thought for a long moment, the pieces clicking into place, despite the fact that you were afraid to put them into words. “Are you talking about…?”
His eyes glimmered. “You know what I’m talking about. If you want to come with me, take me up on this offer, all you need to do is follow me out that door.” He pointed to the front door and you stared at it. It didn’t look special, altered, but you knew his magic worked in mysterious ways.
“Why would you want me?” You asked quietly, suddenly unsure. The hope in your chest began to dwindle. “I’m…I mean look at me, I’m not much of an adventurer. I’m a writer. A college burnout. I don’t…” You chuckled pathetically. “I don’t know what I’m doing with my life.”
“You know, I had a Hobbit tell me this very morning that he wasn’t much for adventures either.” He shrugged. “But I believe you know the outcome of that as well. All of this time travel business is rather complicated, isn’t it?”
“What’ll my parents think if I just disappear? How long will I be gone?”
“When I bring you back, it’ll be as though you never even left.” Gandalf reasoned, tilting his head. “And after all, won’t an actual adventure help your story along?”
He drove a hard bargain, that was for sure.
You glanced down the hall towards your room. “Should I…grab my book, then?”
He winked. “You’ll need it.”
You walked to your room and scanned the shelf where you kept your fantasy books. There it was, nestled in there next to Narnia. The Hobbit.
You’d loved the book as a tween when you’d be forced to read it in middle school, but in all honestly, you hadn’t really touched it since. You’d watched the movies, sure, but they were hardly accurate. Your fingers tingled as you took it off of the shelf, and when you got back to the living room, Gandalf was gone.
“Gandalf?” You called. No response. “Gandalf?” Nothing again.
You looked down at the book and back up at the front door. It hadn’t changed at all. It looked ordinary. And yet, you felt a tug in your chest pulling you to see if what the wizard had said was true.
You chuckled and sighed. Or, you’d made the whole thing up in your head. Gandalf had never been there and never would. He didn’t exist.
And then you looked at the coffee table only to find your mug still sitting there, full of steaming tea.
And so, at the risk of feeling like an idiot, you walked to the door, opened it, and stepped over the threshold…into a cozy hobbit hole.
Immediately, you looked back, wide-eyed, expecting to find your front door from the outside, but instead seeing the wide, round door that stood at the entrance of Bilbo Baggins’ home. There was plenty of chatter inside, the deep voices of several rowdy men and one panicked, flustered hobbit.
“H-hello?” You called into the house softly, tentative. You walked a little further, following the voices. “Hellooo??”
Faintly, you heard a now-familiar voice. “Kili, would you go fetch our guest? Seems she’s a bit late.”
You heard a few voices murmur “She?”
Your heart raced as you stood there, waiting. You heard heavy footsteps, and then finally a figure came around the corner. There he was. Kili, the Dwarven Prince, the youngest of the dwarves in the company. He stood a head shorter than you with shoulder-length raven hair and a dusting of stubble across his chin. He was handsome, very much so, in fact. Just the way you’d always imagined him to be.
“Kili.” You whispered, the breath stolen from your lungs as you stood there, bewildered. This was real. He was real.
His breath hitched and he stared at you for a long moment, eyes sparkling as he looked up at you. “I-I’m sorry, have we met before?”
You blinked and shook your head. “Oh. Uh, no. Sorry. I’m (Y/N).”
Kili smiled, charismatic as ever. “You must be this Book Keeper Gandalf speaks of.”
“I guess I am, yeah.” You nodded, staring down at your shoes, shy all of a sudden. You’d been dreaming of this moment for years. Meeting him. Changing things. And yet, being here, doing it…it was terrifying to say the very least.
Your eyebrows furrowed when you got a good look at yourself, though. These were not clothes you were familiar with. Well, you were in a way, you supposed. These were the clothes you’d described the main character of your book to be wearing; a long orange hooded cloak, leather armor on top of a flowing white top. Around your right ring finger, its point facing outwards, was a claddagh ring with a green gem set into it.
You reached up to see if your ears came to a point, and surely enough, they did, just like the Sunset Fae at the heart of the fantasy story you’d been writing. Weird.
“We’re all in here.” Kili motioned behind him, to where he’d come. “Are you from around these parts?”
“Oh! No, I’m from…pretty far from here, actually.”
“Whereabouts?”
Gandalf saved you from having to answer that question. “Dwarves, this is (Y/N) (L/N). The Book Keeper. She’s come all the way from another realm to help you on this journey.”
The rest of the dwarves murmured amongst themselves.
“What does that mean, Gandalf?” One of the dwarves asked.
“Another realm?” whispered another.
“It’s true, what he says.” You confirmed, nodding and letting the words come to you. “Where I come from, there are many tales of this adventure, the things that…have yet to unfold for you. I’m pretty familiar with them. Gandalf thinks I’d be able to steer you in a better direction at some points.”
“Prophecies?” Asked a deep, stern voice. Looking at him, a regal dwarf with dark brown hair, a streak of gray near the front of his head. Your heart raced. He was Thorin, no doubt, and he was every bit as intimidating as you’d heard he’d be.
“Sort of. Where I’m from, it’s presented as a work of fiction, actually.” You nervously tucked a strand of hair behind a pointed ear.
He stiffened. “Are you an elf?”
Your eyes widened. “What? No, I’m not. I’m, uh…”
“She’s human.” Gandalf stated. “Where she’s from she’s human, that is. Our realm’s magic has changed her, it seems.”
“Human?” Kili whispered. Until he spoke, you’d nearly forgotten he was standing beside you, staring at you. In fact, his eyes hadn’t left you since you walked through the door.
You nodded, taking in the company for all that they were. Thirteen dwarves, one hobbit, and one wizard who had whisked you away from your normal life into something much more exciting, it seemed. You couldn’t help but get a little choked up, looking at all of them. They had so much left to endure, to survive, to experience.
“I want to help.” You assured them, your voice cracking and a tear slipping down your cheek. “I want to help you. If you’ll have me, your highness. I ask nothing in return. I’m merely…along for the adventure.”
Thorin thought for a long, hard moment. You waited on pins and needles until finally, he relented, “how could we refuse an offer like that?”
***
The next day came and with it, the beginning of the adventure. The dwarves loaned you weapons. Namely, Kili had. In fact, he hadn’t really taken his eyes off of you since the two of you met. It had been less than twenty-four hours, and he already seemed endlessly fascinated by you.
“Tell me again, what is a telephone?” He asked, amusement heavy in his tone.
“It’s a little device that lets you talk to someone really far away.” You explained.
“Incredible.” He chuckled. “And a camera?”
“It’s like a little box that captures memories. Preserves them as a picture so you can look at them later. Sometimes they’re even built into the phone.”
“Did you bring one with you, by any chance?”
You laughed and shook your head. “No, I didn’t, unfortunately. I’m not sure it would have stayed like that when I came here anyway.”
“Right.” Kili was quiet for a few moments as you walked on. “Do you think a telephone would work between realms?”
“Probably not. Why?”
“How else will I keep in touch with you when you go back?” He was flirting, now.
“Maybe Gandalf would bring our letters back and forth.” You suggested, partially joking, but the look it put on his face made you think it wasn’t a joke to him.
“You’d write to me?” He asked sincerely, catching your gaze with his own.
“Of course I would. I’ve been reading about you for years. It would be nice to make you read about me for a change.”
You caught Balin grinning in front of you, an amused, knowing look on his wise face. You’d always admired the oldest of the company. He was wise and kind, looked out for the rest of the dwarves like they were his kids. You hoped maybe at some point, that kind of affection would be turned to you as well.
Soon, you all came upon Gandalf, who had the horses for the journey. Each dwarf claimed a horse while Gandalf pulled you aside, a large bag in his hands. He gave it to you, a glimmer in his eye.
“I thought you could use some supplies for the journey. Some things that might bring you comfort in a strange and unfamiliar land.” He winked.
“Thank you.”
“Gandalf, it seems we’re a horse short.” Thorin informed the wizard. Bilbo had just arrived, and seeing as you weren’t a part of the plan until the day before, it made sense there wasn’t a horse for you. But that did raise the question: what were you going to do?
“Oh, are we?” Gandalf raised an eyebrow, feigning innocence. He counted absentmindedly while the dwarves saddled up. “Well, I suppose one of you will have to take the Book Keeper with you, if it’s not too much trouble.”
“I’ll take her!” Kili offered a little too enthusiastically and a little too quickly. Fili laughed at his brother’s display. He’d never seen him behave this way before. He’d had fleeting crushes, sure, but he’d never been desperate like this. He met your eyes, cheeks reddening and shy. “I…if you’d like me to.”
You grinned. “Sure, Kili. Thank you.”
“You seem smitten.” Gandalf commented quietly and you looked up at him.
“Have been since I was like twelve, but I think you knew that when you asked me to come.”
He laughed. “I know many things.” He replied cryptically. “And I knew we’d need someone with a strong motivation to turn the tides.”
“Well, let’s hope I’m the girl for the job.” You chuckled, slinging your bag over your shoulders. “Thank you. For everything.”
“Don’t thank me yet.” Gandalf chuckled.
You took a peek inside the bag he’d packed you and sitting right on top was a Polaroid camera. It looked out of place in Middle Earth, but you had a feeling it would come in handy.
“What is that?” Fili asked, he and Kili wandering over to you.
“This.” You pulled it out and held it up. “Is a camera.”
“A memory device!” Kili said, excited. “How does it work?”
“Like this.” You turned the camera so it was facing you, Kili, and Fili with Gandalf and some of the other dwarves standing in range, and you pressed the trigger. The camera clicked loudly and then a few moments later, a black square spit out the front of it.
You handed the undeveloped photo to Fili, who looked at it quizzically.
“This is blank.”
“It takes a second to develop. If you shake it, it helps.” You instructed him, and he took your advice, shaking the photo until slowly, figures took shape on its surface, the colors brightening. “See?”
“It’s us!” One of the other dwarves said excitedly, looking at what was unfolding amongst the party’s youngest members.
You grinned. “Yeah, it is.”
***
Once the excitement had died down and everyone was starting to get onto their horses, bidding the Shire one last goodbye, Kili helped you up onto the back of his horse with a strong tug. You adjusted yourself, an arm tentatively settling around his waist.
“You’re going to have to hold on tighter than that, Book Keeper.” He smirked, pulling your arms a bit tighter around himself. “I would hate to have you fall off and hit your pretty head.”
“I’ve never ridden a horse before.” You confessed, cheeks flushing red.
He furrowed his eyebrows. “How do you travel, then?”
“We have…um, motorized vehicles. No horses involved, usually.” You tried to explain in a way he would understand.
“Your realm sounds strange.” One of the other dwarves noted. You were pretty sure it was Ori, but there were a lot of names. Aside from the handful of them that you could identify easily, it was easy for them all to fall to the background. It was your personal mission, however, to make sure you knew them all pretty well before you left.
“Yeah, it kind of is. Especially compared to Middle Earth.” You chuckled.
“Can you fight, girl?” Thorin asked, skeptical of this girl his nephew already seemed too fond of.
“Admittedly, no. There’s no real reason to fight where I’m from, most of the time.” You told him, honest about it. You had no reason to make an enemy of the king of Erebor.
“We’ll teach you how to take care of yourself.” Balin assured you. “Kili there is an excellent archer. I’m sure he could teach you a thing or two.”
“I did archery at camp once.” You reminisced. “I was awful at it.”
“Oh, nonsense.” Kili shook his head and looked at you over his shoulder, smirking and confident. “We’ll make an archer of you yet.”
“We’ll give you sword lessons with Bilbo.” Dwalin joked.
“Good. I’ll need all the lessons I can get.” You chuckled to yourself.
***
The first night on the road, you all stopped just before sunset and set up a camp. You helped the boys unpack things, helped cook dinner, and before long, you’d all settled around a fire, eating dinner and talking amongst yourselves.
The fire’s warmth felt good on your skin, and once the sun went down the rest of the way, the stars in the sky were stunning. You exhaled a long breath, letting go of the stress you’d been holding in. One day down and nothing had gone wrong.
Gandalf was at the edge of camp, smoking his pipe. You felt safe with him there, like nothing could go wrong as long as the wizard was present. You knew, though, that at some point, he’d have to leave, and you’d be more or less on your own.
You pulled the book out of your bag and flipped past the beginning, reading by the fire’s light.
“Checking our progress?” Kili asked, sitting beside you, his leg touching yours and his warmth seeping right through your clothes.
“Something like that.” You chuckled, nodding. You flipped the page and brushed a piece of hair out of your face.
“How are we doing?”
“It’s hard to tell. Everything is so…condensed. There are weeks or even months between some of the major plotpoints.” You informed him, closing the book and letting it sit in your lap. “We should be okay for a while, I think.”
“And then what?” Asked Bilbo, obviously very nervous about the possibilities of this adventure.
“Trolls.” You replied, scrunching your nose.
“Oh.”
“I have to figure out how much I’m supposed to tell you…what things need to happen and which ones can be avoided.” You shook your head. “It’s a tough call to make.”
“I trust you to make the right decisions.” Thorin said, his voice stern, but a little warmer than it had been since he had met you.
“I’ll do my best.” You promised. The chill of the wind caused you to shiver a bit and Kili took notice immediately.
He got up, walked to his supplies, and returned moments later with one of the blankets he had packed, draping it across your shoulders. You were a lot warmer, but you weren’t sure it was entirely from the blanket.
“Thank you, Kili.”
“Of course.” He nodded, sitting beside you again. “You know, you haven’t told me how you knew my name.” His voice was quiet, soft.
You crossed your legs beneath yourself, curling further into his blanket. “What do you mean?”
“Back in the Shire, even before we introduced ourselves to you, you knew who I was.” He looked at you, his eyes sparkling once more in the firelight. The way the orange glow lit up his features made him look so…princely. Sometimes you forgot he was royalty. Times like this, though, it was impossible to not remember.
“Oh. Yeah. That.” You chuckled, looking away from him and instead at the fire in front of the two of you. “I’ve had this book since I was about twelve years old. I’ve read it a handful of times…I guess I could just tell it was you. It’s going to take me some time to put the rest of the names to the faces, though.”
Kili smiled, a warmth blooming in his chest. You didn’t recognize most of the others, but you recognized him. This was shaping up to become quite the adventure indeed.
***
Travelling so much after you’d been comfortable staying in one spot at home was, admittedly, a lot to adjust to. The first few days had taken their toll on your body. You were sore all over from riding on horseback for long hours and, additionally from sleeping on the ground every night. Some nights, you got lucky and the group would stop in a grassy area to make camp, but most nights, it was hard rock beneath you, which wasn’t very forgiving.
One of the days brought the group to a village, where you were able to replenish supplies in the market. Kili bought a beginner’s bow and a set of arrows to teach you to shoot with. He and Fili had been appointed as your unofficial bodyguards, as well as your teachers and they were taking the job very seriously.
They took you out hunting with them, and Kili thought it would be the perfect time for your first archery lesson.
“So what do you remember of your archery lessons in your realm, Book Keeper?”
“Not a lot.” You chuckled. “I remember how to notch an arrow, I think. It was hard to pull the string back.”
He smirked, handing you the children’s bow and quiver full of rudimentary arrows. “It just takes practice is all. We’ll have to build up strength in your arms, work up to a full size bow.”
“You think I’ll get good enough for that?”
The prince winked. “I know you will.” He searched the trees and spotted a sturdy branch that would be within your reach so you could retrieve the arrow once you shot it into the bark. “Aim for that branch there, the one with the moss growing on it.”
“Alright.” You pulled an arrow from the quiver and notched it, slowly pulling back the string. You tried to account for distance, but when you released the arrow, it arched pathetically and skidded through the fallen leaves on the ground.
“You’re tense.” Kili noted, taking a step closer to you, his eyes the tiniest bit flirty. “Do I make you nervous?”
“A little.” You admitted, laughing. “I mean, all of you do, not just…” You paused. “Being here is a lot. I’ve looked up to you guys for a long time. I’ve wanted to come here for a long time and never thought I would ever get the chance to. I guess I just don’t want to let you down.”
“You couldn’t disappoint me even if you tried.” Kili said. “I know Uncle can be a bit…stern sometimes, but I don’t think it’s untrue to say we’ve all been fascinated by you. It’s obvious where you’re from is quite a bit different than here, but you haven’t complained once, as opposed to the hobbit, who complains on the hour.”
You laughed a bit at that. It was true, Bilbo had been rather fussy and timid thus far on the journey.
“You’re not like anyone I’ve ever met before, you know that?”
You smirked. “Really?”
“You’ve just got this…spark.” He shrugged, snapping a twig beneath his boot as he took another step closer to you. “Every time we turn a corner, it’s like your face just lights up with wonder. It’s like you’ve never seen a tree before.”
You burst into laughter. “We have trees in my realm, Kili.”
“Do you? I didn’t know.” He teased.
“Where I’m from, I have to travel quite a ways to see really beautiful places, and here, there’s a new one every few miles. I’m trying to soak it all in before I go back, I guess.”
He hummed, chuckling to himself. “Yeah, well, it can be dangerous sometimes, too.” He motioned to the bow in your hand. “Notch another arrow.”
You did as you were told and Kili stood behind you, examining your stance. You felt a large, rough, warm hand on your shoulder, guiding your elbow a bit lower. It was like your skin was electrified where he touched you, goosebumps pricking up on your arms, your heart racing at his proximity.
“Relax this hand.” He advised, his fingers curling around the hand on the bow. “Touch your thumb to your lip. And take a breath in.”
You inhaled.
“Release.”
You let go of the arrow and it shot right into the branch Kili had told you to aim for. “Woah!”
“There you go! See? You’re a natural!” He praised, that brilliant smile of his on his face. “You’ll be slaying beasts in no time.”
“You think so?”
He met your eyes, his smile softening into something more meaningful. “There’s not a single doubt in my mind.”
***
A few weeks had passed. You had managed to help the party avoid the conflict with the trolls, but had still wound up in Rivendell, in Elrond’s care. Thorin didn’t much care for elves, but he was managing to keep control of his temper.
Elrond had prepared a great feast for all of you, a celebration to welcome you to his land. And thus, you got to sleep in a proper bed for the first time in weeks. In your chambers, there had been a dress laid out for you, silky and orange, as well as an intricate elven circlet with a few gemstones on it.
You changed into the dress without help and headed down to the celebration, where the others were already seated at a table. Immediately, you felt fourteen pairs of eyes on you as you made your way to the only empty seat left, the one beside Kili. Huh. You wondered how that had happened.
“There she is!” Gandalf exclaimed excitedly, causing your already red cheeks to flush even redder. You didn’t like being the center of attention like this.
Gandalf, Elrond, and Thorin had a table to themselves, the rest of the party at a longer table.
“The Keeper of the Book, I presume.” Elrond said, tipping his head. “Pleasure to meet you. Gandalf has told me all about your journey from another realm to be here.”
“It’s an honor to meet you Lord Elrond.” You told him, heart racing as you met yet another hallmark character who had made a mark on your young adulthood. You curtsied. “I apologize if some of your customs escape me. I’m…not very familiar with them, admittedly.”
“That is quite alright.” He smiled. “I’m sure it has been quite the learning curve already.”
“I brought you a gift.” Gandalf confessed, presenting a glass bottle from beneath the table, a black cherry cream soda you were fond of back home.
You gasped, excited for even a taste of home after all of the time that had passed. You knew things had barely begun, though. It would be a long time before you would be able to go to a grocery store again. “Oh my gosh. Thank you so much! I’ll cherish it.”
You walked to the seat that had been left for you and sat down.
“You look different. Did you do something with your hair?” Ori asked innocently.
“Yeah, I pulled a few strands in the front down.” You chuckled, twirling one around your finger. “I’m also wearing a dress instead of pants, so that might be it.”
“Dressed up for these elves, but not for your traveling companions?” Gloin teased and you chuckled, twisting off the metal bottle cap and taking a sip, relishing in the sweet taste.
“My apologies. I’ll be sure to get all dolled up for our next hike through the mud.” The dwarves all laughed. “It kind of reminds me of my prom dress, actually.” You noted, admiring the shimmering elven fabric.
“What’s a ‘prom?’” asked Fili.
“It’s a dance, a big formal event in my realm. The boys ask the girls to go with them as their date and it’s a big deal. There’s always drama about who’s asking who. It celebrates your coming of age, kind of, because it’s at the end of high school. Everyone dresses up really fancy and dances all night. It’s a fun time.”
“You went to this prom? Someone asked you?” Kili asked.
“Funny story, actually. Someone did ask me to prom. Serenaded me with this big dramatic song and everything; it was a little much if you ask me, but we were friends, so I was excited to go. I got my dress, got everything ready, and then a few weeks before the dance, he told me he didn’t want to go with me anymore and asked someone else to go with him instead.” You said, taking a long sip of your drink.
“How dare he disrespect you like that?” Kili shook his head. “One would be lucky to have the opportunity to take you to an event of that kind!”
“Yeah, I was kind of upset about it. My friends ended up taking me with them, but I still got left alone during the slow songs.” You shrugged. “It was a while ago, though. I don’t think about it a lot anymore.”
Kili huffed. “Good. He doesn’t deserve your attention.”
“Is that ale, lassie?” Dwalin asked, distracted by the bottle you’d been sipping from.
You laughed. “Oh, no. It’s soda. It’s like a sweet, sugary drink from home. This one is black cherry flavored.”
Kili hummed curiously and you turned your attention to him again.
“Do you want to try?”
He looked from the bottle to you and his eyes softened. “You’d share with me?”
“Yeah, of course.” You shrugged, sliding the bottle to him.
Kili took a tentative sip, smiling as soon as the sweet drink hit his tongue. “You’re right. It is quite sweet.”
“Do you like it?” You asked and he nodded.
“I do, but…you should enjoy it. I have a feeling it’ll be a good long while before you get another.” He slid the bottle back to you, his warm hand lingering on yours for a moment. You couldn’t fight the blush that overtook your cheeks, you only hoped it wasn’t too noticeable to the other dwarves.
After the feast, there were some other festivities. The elves started dancing and playing music, moving with grace. Most of the dwarves had had a few drinks too many by that point. You could tell Kili was a little drunk, too, and Dwalin had told you earlier that the youngest dwarf was a bit of a lightweight.
At the moment, he was across the room with Fili, drinking and laughing while you took in the festivities. It was nice to see them have fun together. You hoped you’d be able to ensure they would have fun like this for many, many years to come. It saddened you to think of the end of the journey. That was the whole point you were here, of course; everything would be more or less smooth for the dwarves and their wellbeing until that final battle. But one wrong move, one missed moment and it could all be for nothing.
The more you got to know the dwarven princes, and their uncle, for that matter, the more you knew it would devastate you if you failed.
“Are you alright, Book Keeper?” Balin, perhaps the only sober dwarf at the moment, asked, sitting beside you at the edge of the party. “You seem distracted.”
“I’m alright, yeah,” you nodded, taking a sip of blueberry-flavored mead. “Just got a lot on my mind is all.”
“About the journey? Or are you homesick?”
“Definitely not homesick.” You laughed. “I don’t know what it is about this place, but…I kind of feel like I was always supposed to be here. Born in the wrong realm or something.”
“You fit in well.” Balin agreed. “The company has taken to you fairly quickly as well. Especially, ah,” he got a mischievous glimmer in his eye, “a certain dwarf prince?”
You blushed, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear. “Yeah, it seems he has.”
“Can’t say I blame him. Beautiful woman from another realm comes here and saves us from trolls and who knows what else…” Balin chuckled.
The two of you looked across the room, where it looked like Fili was giving his brother one serious pep talk.
“Kili hasn’t had much luck in matters of love, I’m afraid.” He told you, his voice softer, as to not be overheard. “His looks are a bit unorthodox by Dwarven standards.”
“Really…” You murmured, shocked. “Well, by human standards—of my realm at least—he is…very handsome.”
“You think so?” Balin grinned.
“I have since the very beginning.” You told him. “He’s…” your voice got quiet. “He’s incredible.”
“Sorry to interrupt, my lady.” One of the elves came up to you, offering his arm. “Might I have this dance?”
When you looked up, Kili was about halfway across the dance floor, frozen on his way to you, staring at the elf who had offered you his arm.
“I’m flattered, really, I am.” You told the elf. “But, um, I’ve promised this dance to another.”
“I understand.” He bowed and made his leave.
Once he saw that the elf had left you, Kili’s eyebrows furrowed and he continued crossing the dance floor to you.
“You turned him away.” Kili stated, sounding confused. “Why?”
You shrugged. “I’ve had my eye on someone else all night.”
“Oh. I see.” Kili’s face fell and he started to turn, but you grabbed his wrist.
“You, Kili. I’ve been waiting to dance with you.” You chuckled.
Immediately, that handsome grin of his found his face and he took your hand, taking you out on the dance floor. His arm settled around your waist, pulling you close, while the other hand held yours. Despite the height difference, it worked.
“I haven’t found the time to tell you yet, but…” He paused, staring at you like you were made of starlight. “You look beautiful tonight, (Y/N).”
You smiled and your heart pounded. “Thank you, Kili.”
“Of course. I hope this dance can begin to make up for the ones you spent alone that night.” He tucked a piece of hair behind your ear, his large hand warm and gentle. “I wish I could have been there to make it right.”
“I wish you could have been there, too. You would have been an awesome date.”
“You think so?”
“Yeah, of course. It’s not every night a girl gets to dance with a handsome prince.” The way you said it was kind of teasing, but you meant it. He really was handsome and he literally was a prince.
He chuckled, blushing at the sentiment. He was quiet for a while before he said, “It feels like you were meant to be here.”
“In Rivendell?”
“In Middle Earth.” Kili clarified. “With our company.”
“I was just talking to Balin about that, actually.”
Kili smiled kind of sadly before continuing. “You don’t think you’ll be able to stay, do you? When all of this is over?”
Your breath hitched and you met his eyes. “If I’m given the chance…I will. In a heartbeat. But I’m not sure if that’s how this works.”
“Okay.” Kili nodded, willing to accept that answer. “Well, for the record, I hope you do. Things would be boring without you around.”
“I hope so too.”
***
The days ran into one another, as did the weeks. You were accustomed to the road now. You spent most of your time riding with Kili, but every so often, you rode with some of the other Dwarves as well. Balin liked to trade stories with you, Dori and you would talk about what kinds of wine you preferred. They were all good company and they took care of you, looked after you.
Kili had been continuing his lessons in teaching you to shoot, and you’d made quite a bit of progress. Fili taught you to use a sword and how to properly put on armor. You had many long chats with Bilbo about the Shire and warned him to send him a message back home to ensure his family members didn’t sell his furniture while he was traveling back home.
You even got to know Thorin a bit, although he was still very guarded, especially to the two outsiders of the group. You knew eventually those walls would come down, but you also didn’t blame him for having them; he’d been through a lot.
It was night once again, and you were trying to sleep, but it was a particularly noisy night. The crickets were especially loud. Kili was taking the first watch with Fili, so, as he did whenever he was on watch, he put his extra blanket atop you to keep you warm.
“She’s so beautiful when she sleeps…” You heard Kili murmur to his brother, convinced you were out for the night.
“Have you told her yet?”
“That she’s beautiful? Yes, countless times, brother.” You could imagine the dwarf’s confident grin as he said it.
“Not that. Did you tell her that she’s…your One?”
Now that was news. You didn’t think Ones were a thing. Not as far as you knew. You were certain they were something cooked up by the fan community in your world, not something that was real.
You heard Kili sigh before replying, “I don’t even know how to begin to tell her that. Not when I don’t even know if she’ll still be here after we fight the dragon.”
“Then you should be making the most of the time you have with her while she’s here!” Fili whispered passionately. “Not every dwarf is so lucky, you know.”
“I know that.” Kili was quiet for a long moment before relenting, “I’ll tell her. As soon as I can figure out how.”
“Good.” Fili said, sounding proud of his efforts. “It seems she really cares for you, brother.”
And though you were tempted to say something, to break the silence and tell him then and there, you didn’t want the brothers to think you’d been eavesdropping. There would be a better time to tell him; you only hoped it would come sooner rather than later.
***
With your new revelation, every day became a new adventure, a waiting game in which you would see whether or not Kili would confess to you the way he felt for you. Looking back on all of the evidence, it seemed especially obvious. Right from the very beginning, he’d been enamored by you and the world you came from. Now you knew why.
This was, of course, alongside the usual adventure of running from monsters, in this case, a group of goblins. Although you knew it was important for Bilbo to get the ring, and it therefore needed to happen, you still weren’t particularly looking forward to it. The trolls, you had been able to evade with the logic that the elves in Rivendell would give you whatever weapons the dwarves would have recovered from the Troll cave anyway, which they had.
You’d all slept in a cave to escape the storm raging outside, bedrolls close together. Kili slept facing you. Every once in a while, you’d open your eyes and look at him, to make sure he was still there. One of those times, he was looking at you, too.
“Can’t sleep?” He whispered, his voice deep with exhaustion.
“I’ve got a bad feeling about this cave…” You admitted, something sinking in the pit of your stomach. You felt bad for not telling them, but it had to happen and you knew if Thorin had known, you’d all have set up camp somewhere else.
“Mmm.” Kili hummed, nodding. He scooted his bedroll a bit closer to yours and your heart leapt in your chest. Maybe this would be the moment he’d tell you, finally, the thing you knew he’d been holding in for so long. “Well don’t worry your pretty head too much, Book Keeper. Whatever happens, you’ve got thirteen fiercely loyal dwarves here who will do anything to protect you.”
You nodded, exhaling a shaky breath.
“You never did tell me what that ring means.” Kili said, drawing attention to the claddagh ring, still wrapped around your finger. “That’s a beautiful emerald. Did someone from home give it to you?”
“It’s a claddagh ring. I don’t have one back home, but it just kind of…appeared on me when I got here.” You admitted. “I’ve always been fascinated by them. When you wear it like this, on the right hand with the point facing outwards, it means you’re looking for love, but you haven’t found it yet.”
He was quiet for a moment, nodding. His hand reached out, his fingers brushing yours, warm and calloused. They were warrior’s hands, and seeing his with your own just felt right. The contrast between you was perfect. “What would happen if you…found love?”
“Then you flip it over so the heart is upright.” You told him. “And if you get engaged, it moves to the other hand.”
“I quite like that.”
You chuckled softly. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” He smiled.
A cold wind blew into the cave and you shivered, pulling your blankets closer.
“Come here.” Kili’s hand wandered from yours and instead pulled you closer to him.
You surrendered to his warmth, to his scent of leather and campfire and pine. His hand cradled your head, combing through your hair with gentle fingers. It did calm you down enough to finally get some decent sleep for the night.
But just before you drifted off into slumber, you heard Kili whisper, “Sleep, Amrâlimê.”
And you did get a few hours of quiet peace before the floor of the cave opened up beneath you.
Thus began your long descent into the goblins’ cave. The company screamed all the way down until you were met by hundreds of terrifying goblins, shuffling you all to the feet of their king, a massive, horrifying thing who looked at you all like you were their next meal.
“What do we have here? Thieves? Spies? Assassins?” The king said. “Why are you here dwarves?” His eyes fell on you. “And an…elf?”
“Close enough.” You muttered, heart absolutely pounding in your chest. You were pretty sure you were about to pass out from the shock of it all.
“Bring the tall one to me. And search them all. Every crevice.” The king ordered, and one of his henchman kicked you in the back of the knees, forcing you to the ground with a pained yelp, dragging you over to their king, who hoisted you off of the ground by your hair.
“Don’t you dare touch her!” Kili yelled, struggling against the goblins that were holding him, but it didn’t seem to stop the other goblins from beginning to search you. “DON’T TOUCH HER! LET HER GO NOW!”
“Ohhhh, the youngest dwarf has a soft spot, does he?” The goblin king laughed, holding you in front of his face to get a closer look. “I can’t begin to see why.”
“Let me go, you big ugly bitch!” You squirmed, kicking the goblin king straight in the eye, causing him to flinch and drop you onto the ground, hard. You groaned and tried to get your bearings. Luckily, you were close enough to the dwarves that they were able to tug you back behind them. Gloin grabbed your leg and dragged you into the middle of the company again while Bifur and Bofur helped you to your feet. Your head hurt from the hair pulling.
“OW! She’s a feisty one.” The goblin king rubbed his eye and pointed at you with a hideous finger. “Fetch the torture devices. We’ll start with her.”
“Over my dead body you will.” Kili readied himself, eyes dark and voice as intense as rumbling thunder.
The other dwarves all took up a position of attack to protect you. Even though their weapons had been taken, they were still willing to fight for you.
But they didn’t get the chance to. At precisely the moment you needed him, Gandalf busted through the wall of the cave, stunning the goblins for a few moments with blinding light and giving the dwarves the chance to pick up their weapons.
The battle broke out. You did your best with the weapon Dwalin hastily shoved into your hand, but for the most part, you just followed the rest of the dwarves, keeping an eye on Kili and dodging the goblins that came at you. He fought harder than you had ever seen him, an intense fire burning in him. It was, perhaps, the scariest and most exhilarating experience of your entire life.
One of the goblins’ claws scratched your arm and you winced, swinging your sword at him and taking him out. The group reconvened on a bridge only for it to collapse beneath you, sending all of you plummeting, plummeting, plummeting down to the bottom of the cave. You laid there on your back, pretty sure this was what a cracked rib felt like. You sputtered and tried to lift your head from the hard surface beneath you.
“(Y/N)?” You heard Kili’s voice as the others began to get their bearings. He looked through the group, becoming more panicked by the second. “(Y/N)?!”
“I’m here.” You groaned weakly, raising your hand so he could find you. “I’m okay.”
“Thank Mahal.” He let out a relieved sigh walking to you and helping you to your feet. “A-are you hurt?”
“I’m okay.” You nodded, out of breath with tears in your eyes. Your knees wobbled, but he held you upright, supporting your weight. Then your eyes widened, remembering. You looked up and sure enough, more goblins were climbing down towards you. “We have to go.”
“Towards the daylight!” Gandalf insisted, leading the charge out of the cave and into the light of the nearly setting sun.
Once you all were finally able to stop, you collapsed to your knees, catching your breath. Kili knelt beside you, looking you over.
“I’m okay.” You told him. “I’m nauseous and definitely bruised a bit, but I’m okay. Are you?”
He reached up and brushed the hair out of your face, his hand pulling your face down towards him. He rested his forehead against yours, closing his eyes and letting out a long, shaking sigh. “I’m okay now.”
“Gandalf, um…” You reached into your pack and pulled out the book, using your bookmark to open to the chapter you’d all arrived at, still quite out of breath from the whole ordeal, but still focused on the adventure and the group’s safety. “You might want to call the Eagles now.”
“A very good call, Book Keeper.” Gandalf nodded, counting the dwarves before getting a moth’s attention.
You looked around the group and noticed one was missing. Bilbo. “Guys, where’s Bilbo?”
“I think he slipped away before the goblins grabbed us.” Nori said while the others started frantically looking around for him.
“I knew it. I knew he’d run right back home at the nearest opportunity.” Thorin said, shaking his head. “We will not be seeing our hobbit again. He is long gone.”
“No. He isn’t.” Bilbo walked out from behind a tree, appearing seemingly from nowhere. “I fell into a cavern. It was difficult to find a way out. I’m sorry.”
Thorin hesitated for a moment before looking at Bilbo. “My apologies. I just thought—”
“I know what you thought. I’m…not quite acclimated to this lifestyle. I miss my books and my reading chair and my hobbit hole. That’s my home. That’s why I’m here. Because you don’t have one; it was taken from you. And if I can…I want to help you take it back.”
The company shared a long, warm moment in the sun, which was interrupted by the sound of the wargs on the horizon.
You groaned. “Great. Right on schedule.”
“You knew—” Fili realized.
“Yep.” You nodded, exhaling a breath. Kili pulled you to your feet. “I know a lot I’m not supposed to.”
“Out of the frying pan…” Thorin started, his voice wary of the oncoming danger.
“And into the fire.” Gandalf motioned forward. “Run!”
So, once again, you were on the move, running to the edge of the cliff, away from the angry, snarling beasts on your trail. The group climbed up pine trees and just before the wargs arrived at the base of the tree, so did the Eagles.
“A very good call indeed, Book Keeper.” Thorin praised.
You chuckled. “Thought the group might prefer to not be torn apart by giant wolves.”
You got onto the back of one of the eagles, followed quickly by Fili and Kili, whose arm fastened around you, holding you in place. You looked at him as soon as he touched you, not quite surprised it was him. It always seemed to be him.
“Breathe, Amrâlimê.” He spoke softly, the word cradled so gently on his tongue. “You can breathe now. I won’t let you fall.”
“Okay.” You nodded, adjusting to a slightly more stable position on the eagle, your arm wrapping around his back for extra support. You took in the sights of Middle Earth. It was absolutely gorgeous from this high up, especially now that you were up and out of harm’s way.
“Are you okay?” he asked again.
You nodded and looked at him, admiring the way the sunset framed his features. Leaning forward, you pressed your forehead against his and closed your eyes for a long moment, repeating his sentiment from earlier. “I’m okay now.”
“Good.”
It was quiet for a long moment before you asked quietly. “What does that word mean?”
“Oh…it’s not in your fancy book?” He teased, a cheeky smirk gracing his handsome face.
“It’s not.” You confirmed.
His eyes softened, the wind blowing through his silky dark hair. “I think you know what it means.”
You tilted your head, eyes exploring his own. “I think I do too…”
***
A few hours later, the company arrived at Beorn’s house, tucked into the woods. Gandalf went with Bilbo first, instructing the rest of you to come in small groups spaced about five minutes apart, as to not overwhelm the skin-changer with guests all at once.
Finally, you rolled up your sleeve to look at the cut on your arm. It didn’t look deep, but it did look dirty. You didn’t even want to know where that goblin’s claws had been. If you weren’t careful, you’d get an infection.
“Let me see it, girl.” Balin said, motioning you over. You walked to him and sat on a large rock, letting him look over the wound. “He got you good, didn’t he?”
“Looks like it, yeah. It doesn’t hurt too bad anymore.”
“You’re hurt?” Kili asked from somewhere behind you.
“She’s alright, Kili.” Balin assured the prince, a knowing twinkle in his eye. “We’ll get her cleaned up, lad.”
Fili pulled Kili off to the side while Balin and Oin tended to your arm, putting a disinfectant that stung pretty bad on it before wrapping it in gauze.
“Thank you.” You told them sincerely.
“And thank you. I have a feeling our injuries would have been a lot worse had you not told Gandalf to call the Eagles when he did.”
“Yeah, I figured the rest of the journey would probably be a bit easier if I didn’t get a leg ripped off by a giant wolf.” You chuckled, shrugging.
“How are things with Kili?” Balin asked, his voice incredibly quiet.
You glanced over to where Kili and Fili were standing, talking very passionately about something. They were definitely out of earshot, though.
“Can you keep a secret?” You asked him, heart racing.
Balin nodded, his eyes kind. “Of course, dear.”
You took a breath and let the words fall out of your mouth all at once. “I think I’m falling in love with him.”
Bofur perked up when he heard this, turning around with a huge grin on his face. “I knew it! I heard you two last night having a little chat.”
“I forgot you were on watch.” You chuckled, cheeks burning. “I…I don’t know. I think he feels the same, but—”
“He feels the same.” Balin took your hand in both of his. “I’ve known that lad for his entire life and I’ve never seen him so enamored with anyone before.”
Bofur agreed. “Seems he had a rather rude awakening when the goblins almost had their way with you.”
“Yeah…” You thought back on that moment. You’d never seen him yell like that before, never so angry, and all because you were in danger.
“We already consider you one of us, lassie. Not just anyone would be brave enough to kick a goblin king in the eye.” Dwalin said, coming from behind you and putting a strong hand on your shoulder. “And if you feel strongly for him, you should ask him to court.”
Your eyes widened. Ah yes, the ever-elusive dwarven courting customs. “How do I do that? No one’s ever explained it to me.”
The other dwarves chuckled.
“That explains a lot.” Bofur smirked. “Tell you what, we’ll—”
“(Y/N), Fili and I are leaving.” Kili told you, motioning in the direction of Beorn’s house. “Would you like to come with us or wait for the next group?”
You looked at Balin, who nodded, encouraging you to go.
“Go with the lads. We’ll speak yet.” He promised.
You walked with Kili, glancing back at the three of the dwarves who now knew exactly how you felt about their prince. You only hoped it wouldn’t spread through the rest of the group like wildfire.
***
When the next morning came, Beorn, who was a spectacle in and of himself, served a hearty breakfast for you, Gandalf, Bilbo, and the dwarves. It was a beautiful morning, fog lingering in the trees, sunlight streaming through it.
For the first time in a long time, you felt utterly safe. You knew nothing would happen while you were at Beorn’s house. In Mirkwood shortly after…that was a different story altogether. But for the day, you were safe from goblins and wargs and whatever else was lurking out in the distance.
Part of you wondered if Bilbo had gotten the ring, if it had been worth not warning the others of the perils of that specific cave, but you knew you couldn’t ask him. Not now at least.
You sipped a mug of warm tea Gandalf had made for you, its steam gently waking you up. The mug was very large, as was everything in Beorn’s house, which seemed to make the dwarves look impossibly small, and, you hated to admit it, very cute.
“You sleep okay?” Kili asked, mouth half-full of scrambled eggs.
You nodded. “I slept fine. Did have some weird dreams, though.”
“About what?” Fili asked, perking up.
“I was at a school for wizards in this massive castle and the stairs were moving and I couldn’t get to class.” You told them, chuckling. Maybe Hogwarts was real too, somewhere. After all, Middle Earth was.
“We almost got killed by goblins and you’re having nightmares about school?” Bofur asked, incredulous.
“She’s taking this Book Keeper thing to new heights.” Ori added, laughing.
“I’ve been out of school for almost a whole year now and I’m still having nightmares about it.” You chuckled, shaking your head. “I really don’t think they’ll ever stop.”
“How long are humans from your realm in school?” Dori asked.
“We start school around age five, sometimes sooner. We graduate high school at eighteen, and then if we choose to go to college after, most graduate around twenty-two or twenty-three.” You told them, causing Kili to promptly choke on his drink. “Are you okay?”
“How old did you say you were?” Fili checked again, his eyes wide.
Dwalin slapped Kili’s back until he regained his composure.
Thinking about it further, you weren’t sure age had ever come up with the dwarves. “I’m twenty-three. Why?”
They all shared looks between each other, some laughing softly, others looking genuinely shocked.
“Guys, are you okay? How old are you?” You asked, heart racing. “Dwalin, how old are you?”
“I’m a hundred and sixty-nine years, lassie.” He said.
“Oh my god.” You muttered softly, a hand on your mouth. “Seriously? The whole time?”
“He’s being genuine, Book Keeper. Dwarf aging is quite different than that of men.” Balin told you, trying to be gentle.
“I’m only eighty-two if that makes you feel better.” Fili offered, his eyes sincere.
You stared at him. “It does not.”
“And on that happy note, I believe I’ll borrow the Burglar and the Book Keeper for a moment.” Gandalf said, a mischievous smile on his face as he stood from the head of the table.
“Perfect timing.” You said, grabbing your mug and following after him. Bilbo walked beside you, so you looked down and asked. “How old are you?”
“I’m fifty-one.” Bilbo replied.
“See, that seems more reasonable.” You laughed, still in disbelief. “A hundred and sixty-nine…”
Gandalf led the two of you to Beorn’s gardens, which were quite lush and beautiful, filled with all manner of plants. A few chickens wandered the property and wildflowers grew along his cobblestone fence.
Bilbo bent down and picked an acorn off of the ground, tucking it into his pocket. You grinned. Cute.
“I’m merely here to check your progress. How is everything going?”
“Well, I’d say.” Bilbo said, sounding a bit unsure. He looked up at you for insight.
“We’re looking good on my end.” You nodded. “These next few days are going to be rough, though.”
“Undoubtedly.” Gandalf nodded. “The two of you should…formulate a plan together before leaving for Mirkwood. I’m sure some teamwork could help smooth things over.”
“I think so too.” You nodded.
“Excellent. Discuss. I will see you in Erebor.”
“Where are you going?” Bilbo asked.
“I have some unavoidable business to attend to, I’m afraid. But all of you are in good hands.” Gandalf assured him, nodding before walking back into the house to say goodbye to the other dwarves.
As soon as you and Bilbo were alone, you asked him, “Did you get it?”
He looked puzzled. “Did I get what?”
You wiggled your ring finger, holding up your ring.
He thought for a moment and then nodded, confirming. “I did, yes. Was I supposed to?”
“Yes. Good.” You exhaled a sigh of relief. “Don’t tell the others. But…you’ll need to use it on occasion. As you see appropriate. I don’t want to make you overthink it.”
“Good. Alright.” Bilbo nodded, considering. “What was this working together Gandalf was talking about?”
***
When night fell, some of the dwarves started a fire. Balin and Bofur pulled you aside. Kili and Fili were off scouting the edge of the property to make sure nothing was coming for the group, giving you the perfect opportunity for a lesson.
“What do you know of dwarvish courting, Book Keeper?” Bofur asked. “Anything?”
“Admittedly, not a lot. I know there’s braiding involved, but that’s about it.”
“That’s a good start, lass.” Balin smiled. “So, when a courtship begins, generally, the dwarrowdam, or, the woman, in this case, will ask the dwarf she fancies if she can braid his hair.”
“They make a courting bead to present to them, to braid into the hair. Something meaningful.” Bofur added.
“Okay.” You nodded, taking in the information.
“If he feels the same way, usually he’ll already have made a courting bead and will present it to her in return. If he doesn’t have it ready quite yet, he’ll present it to her as soon as it is.” Balin explained. “But the woman is always the one to initiate, unless, of course, it’s two men, in which case the oldest of the two will begin the courting.”
“And then they’ll go off somewhere private and braid the beads into each other’s hair. It’s quite romantic.” Bofur smiled.
You stared at the ring around your finger, the claddagh ring you’d carried with you the entire journey, the one Kili seemed so fascinated by. You thought it would look rather beautiful braided into Kili’s dark hair. “Would…um…” You slipped it off of your finger and handed it to Bofur. “Would this work? As a courting bead? I’d have to resize it of course, but…”
He smiled knowingly. “This is the special ring you explained to him in the cave?”
“Yeah, it is.”
“I think that would be perfect, dear.” Balin nodded. “We can teach you how to make the bead once we get to Erebor.”
“Okay, perfect. It won’t be long now.” You told them. “This next leg of the journey is going to be rough, as a heads-up.”
“That’s what I feared.” The eldest dwarf nodded.
Bofur handed you back the ring and you put it on again. “We’re in good hands, though.”
You nodded, serious. “I’ll do my best.”
***
The next day, you all stood at the gates of Mirkwood and a sinking feeling settled deep in the pit of your stomach. You did not like this. Not one bit.
“Are you alright?” Kili asked, his hand on your arm. “You look as though you’ve seen a ghost.”
“I know more than I’m supposed to again.” You told him, your voice soft, scared.
He looked up at you, taking a step closer. “Anything you can tell me?”
“Not at the moment, no.” You shook your head. You turned towards him, suddenly more serious and remembering something from the Hobbit movies you’d seen long ago. Up until this point, everything had been by the book as far as you knew. But in the case that something leaked over… “So, if, um…theoretically of course, if there’s a bunch of orcs shooting at us at some point on our way out of Mirkwood, don’t take any chances that would let you get shot in the leg with a poisonous arrow, okay?”
Kili’s eyes widened. “What? I’m—”
“It probably won’t happen. Most likely. But there’s one version of the story where it does and I just…I don’t know what I’d do if you—”
“I won’t.” Kili grabbed your arms with his large hands, stopping your rambling. “I promise you I won’t take any chances that would let that happen.”
You nodded, exhaling a sigh. “Okay. Good.”
“Does anything like that happen to me?” Fili asked, scared suddenly.
“No.” You assured him. “I’d tell you if it would. I’m not letting any of you die.”
You all set out through the gates, doing your best to stick to the paths. Things got very disorienting very quickly, however.
The group began to wander, confused, forgetting things and losing track of time. All hints of what direction you were going were gone, so you followed whichever dwarf happened to be in front of you at any given moment.
After a short time, you began to question everything. It was hard to tell how much time passed. You all wandered, going in circles, the dwarves bickering between themselves about which way was which. You felt utterly dizzy, confused and unable to ground yourself in the moment.
“(Y/N), are you in your right mind right now?” Bilbo asked you, grabbing your attention.
“Not particularly.” You admitted, shaking your head. “Do what you have to do. I’ll see you on the other side. Stick to the plan.”
“Plan, what plan?” Ori asked.
“There’s a plan?”
“What’s a plan?”
They went around and around while Bilbo climbed up into the trees to get a bearing on where you were. Most of them didn’t even realize he had left. And the next thing you knew in your bleary state, there were gigantic spiders descending upon all of you.
***
When you came to, Bilbo had cut you and the others free from where you’d been suspended up in the trees, the webs encasing you sticky and disgusting. You used your dagger to slice your way out of them and get to your feet, taking a head count of everyone that was present. All of the dwarves accounted for.
There were hordes of spiders, giant and covered in fur. You fought your way through a few, counting dwarves every second.
When you spotted Kili, however, he was pinned beneath a giant, shrieking spider. You drew an arrow and shot it quickly, putting to use the archery skills that very dwarf had spent hours teaching you. The spider slumped over top of him and Kili kicked it off of himself, looking to see who’d shot it and unsurprised to find that it was you.
He hurried over, a proud glimmer in his eye. “I told you we’d make an archer of you.”
“And it seems you were right.” You laughed, you eye tracking movement in your peripheral. There were more spiders, yes, but there were also elves, plenty of them, and they were coming in hot.
You looked around for Bilbo, but didn’t find him.
“What’s wrong?” Kili asked.
“Do you trust me?”
“Always.” He answered without hesitation.
“I have to go. We have a plan.” You leaned in and kissed Kili’s cheek, causing him to look up at you, dumbstruck.
A grin slowly spread across his face, processing the first kiss between the two of you. “Be safe.”
“I’ll find you soon.” You promised and took off into the trees, just in time to evade the elves who were apprehending the rest of the dwarves.
From your place up on a branch, you kept an eye on Kili as they hauled him and the rest of the company away, and you caught sight of Bilbo in another. He nodded at you and you returned the signal, waiting for the elves to all leave before meeting him down on the forest floor.
“I’ll go in with you and steal one of their uniforms, change, and then linger outside their cells until you get to us. The guards will be drunk tonight because of the festival. They should be drowsy enough that you can get the keys without too much trouble. On your way up to the rest of us, split the keys in half and I’ll unlock half of the doors to get them out faster.”
“Smart thinking.” Bilbo agreed.
“We’ll have to give them some time to get inside and out of our way before we can head inside. In the book, they’re held here for a few days. I think we can get them out in one.”
“Ambitious,” he said, thinking over the plans. “Ah, right. Well, if you don’t mind me asking since we have some time, are you and Kili…?”
“Seems to be the question on everyone’s minds.” You laughed. “Um. No, not yet. Not officially anyway. Balin and Bofur gave me a lesson on dwarvish courting rituals, though, so I kind of know what I’m doing now.”
He grinned. “Moving on up in the world, eh?”
“Something like that.” You shrugged, sitting for a moment and resting your cheek against your knee. “I don’t think I’ve ever loved someone this much before, Bilbo. I genuinely don’t know what I’d do if something happened to him.”
“That’s how you know it’s real, I think. That fear might protect you.” Bilbo said, wise from the journey. “Might protect him, too.”
“I can only hope so.”
***
Breaking into the elves’ fortress in Mirkwood was easier with a hobbit as a companion, you decided. Bilbo was good at going unnoticed, but especially so when he could sneak into the armory invisibly and retrieve Silvan elf armor for you. You slipped into it quickly, entrusting your bag of things to Bilbo for the moment until you’d be reunited with him.
Then, you went up to the cells where they were holding the dwarves, careful to calm your pace. For the first time in your journey, your pointed ears came in handy. You were able to sneak past any elf you passed without question. They thought you were one of them.
“You there, will you not join the festivities?” An elf asked you. Upon closer inspection, this was Legolas, his blond hair and Orlando Bloom complexion unmistakable. Oh shit.
You did a double-take. “Oh, Prince Legolas. I was going to see the prisoners before joining.” You smirked. “Not every day we have thirteen dwarves in our custody. I’m rather curious.”
“An unusual day indeed. I’ll admit, they are rather…interesting creatures.” He agreed, laughing. “I’ll save you a dance, then.”
“I’d be honored, my prince.” You curtsied, holding your posture carefully before walking past him without any further questioning. You chuckled. Little did he know the only prince that had your attention was a dwarven one.
You reached the hall where the cells were not long after that, looking into the doors and counting. Ori, Dori, Nori, check. Bifur, Bofur, Bombur, check. Balin and Dwalin and Oin and Gloin, check, and finally, Thorin, Fili, and Kili.
Fili was the first to notice you. He stood there for a long moment, staring at you, his eyebrows furrowed. It couldn’t be you, could it? Not dressed like that, surely. Perhaps his eyes were playing tricks on him, despite the fact that they’d only been there for a few hours.
“(Y/N)?” Fili asked, his voice hushed. “Is that you?”
You turned to face him, keeping the stiff elven posture you’d adopted to fit in. You smirked. “I put on some elf armor and suddenly you don’t recognize me, Fee? I’m offended.”
At the sound of your voice, Kili rushed to the bars of his cell. “Amrâlimê!”
You walked to his cell and rested your hands on his. “I told you I’d find you.”
“Where’s Bilbo?” Thorin asked from the next cell over.
“Grabbing the keys.” You told him. “And then we’re busting out of this place.”
“Were you spotted?” Nori wondered.
“Walked right past every elf I saw. They think I’m one of them.” You shrugged, tucking your hair behind one of your pointed ears. “Even managed to trick their prince. He’s up at the festival saving me a dance as we speak.”
You didn’t miss the tiny jealous grunt that left Kili’s throat at the mention of another prince, but you didn’t address it either.
Dwalin let out a proud, bellowing laugh. “Well done, lassie!”
You shrugged. “These ears of mine finally came in handy for something.”
“I happen to think they suit you.” Kili said, looking up at you. He looked so impossibly small in his cage.
Your heart ached. You couldn’t wait to get him out of there. “Is that so?”
“I happen to think most things suit you, actually.” He amended, a flirty grin on his face.
“Don’t get too comfortable, Miss Elf Guard.” Bilbo teased, tossing you a set of keys. “We have some dwarves to free.”
You quickly found the key to Kili’s door and unlocked it, followed immediately by the rest of the dwarves on your side of the hallway. The two of you led the others all the way down to the cellar, to the barrels Bilbo had located. You had almost forgotten this part of the adventure. And if it wasn’t too deadly and terrifying, it might actually be pretty fun.
“Are you sure about this, lad?” One of the dwarves protested as they started climbing inside the barrels.
“Trust me.” Bilbo said, looking to you for support. “Trust us.”
“This is one of the best parts in the book.” You told them. “It’ll all work out. I promise. It might even be fun.”
“There might be room for two in this one,” Kili told you, scouting the biggest barrel.
“I don’t know if it could support both of our weight.” You reasoned, thinking quickly. “And we have to get going so the Elves don’t stop us.”
You climbed into the big barrel, preparing yourself for the plummet downwards.
Kili nodded and climbed into the barrel beside yours, his hand reaching out and touching yours.
“Hold your breath.” Bilbo warned, pulling the lever and sending the barrels rolling down into the water tunnels beneath the castle. He took your tip about the floor and came down moments later, gripping the rope on Thorin’s barrel.
“Well done, you two.” Thorin praised. “You never cease to amaze me.”
“He would have figured it out without me, just for the record.” You told him. “Maybe just a little slower.”
You all started paddling, getting out of the elven tunnels a few minutes later, under cover of night. The stars were quite beautiful. You couldn’t help but stare at them, trying to recognize constellations in the still-unfamiliar sky.
“No sign of orcs.” Kili pointed out. “Nor poisoned arrows.”
“Good. Let’s hope it stays that way.” You chuckled, paddling beside him. Bilbo was still swimming alongside one of the other barrels. “Bilbo, there’s room in mine.”
“You don’t think I’ll sink you?”
“You’re lighter than I am.” You pointed out.
He couldn’t argue with that logic. Fili and Kili both helped hoist Bilbo into your barrel for the rest of the fairly smooth ride. There were a few dips and small waterfalls every so often, but the current wasn’t too harsh.
“Is it like this in the book?” Gloin asked and you nodded.
“Yeah. In fact, in the book, there are lids on the barrels. But it’s, uh, harder to steer that way.”
“I was going to put lids on them?” Bilbo asked, incredulous. “Thank you for steering me away from that option, Book Keeper.”
“That’s my job.” You chuckled, making the most of the ride until, eventually, it ended and the group pulled their barrels onto the shore.
“How’s our progress?” Thorin checked.
“We’re ahead of schedule. Our ride into Laketown won’t be here until tomorrow morning or afternoon.” You told him. “We were actually supposed to be in that elven prison for a few more days, so…we’ve got some time to get our bearings. And we won’t have to cut it so close hiking up to Erebor.”
The king grinned. “Excellent. Great work.” He turned to the rest of the company. “Set up camp for the night. Eat some food. Tomorrow, we journey to Laketown.”
You helped the others unpack some of the belongings, drying out things that had gotten wet. You scrunched your hair, draining it of excess water, and set out a bedroll for whenever you settled down. It was dark, but you couldn’t exactly tell how late it was.
Some of the others started a fire to dry themselves and cook dinner, which was whatever fish had slipped into their barrels on the way there. You found a private spot and changed out of the elven armor into your sleeping attire before returning to the group.
Kili was sitting near the fire, his bedroll now set out beside yours, and two plates of food in his lap. You sat beside him and he handed the extra plate to you, which you were grateful for. It had been a long few days, or however long had passed while you were trapped in those wretched spider-infested forests, and you were hungry.
“Thank you.”
“Of course.” He nodded. The two of you were quiet for a long time before he finally asked a question you could tell had been eating at him for a bit. “What would have happened if…theoretically, I had been shot with that poisonous orc arrow?”
“Hard to say. In the version of the story where that happened…you were pretty injured from it, got progressively sicker and sicker and then when the company left for Erebor, you had to stay behind.”
“Oh.” He looked at you, his eyes serious. “I would have died, wouldn’t I?”
“No.” You shook your head. Not at that moment, you thought darkly, keeping it to yourself. “Well…it’s difficult to say, because in that version, you caught the eye of a very beautiful elf warrior. She healed you before you died from the poison. And she’s not here, so I…I really don’t know what would have happened.”
“Well…” He processed the information for a moment before a soft, tender look overtook his face. “I did happen to catch the eye of another woman with elf-like ears this time around. I think I prefer this one, actually.”
“I can’t heal you if you get poisoned.” You reasoned, insecurity eating at you, despite the lack of competition. You hadn’t seen Tauriel in Mirkwood, which probably meant she didn’t exist. Probably. She wasn’t in the book, after all, but neither were a lot of the other details you’d lived through that Tolkien had seemed to skim over in his version.
He took your hand in both of his, calling your full attention to him. “Maybe not, but…you did prevent me from being poisoned at all, which, I would argue, is better.” One of his hands wandered up to your cheek and you caught his eyes lingering on your lips for a long moment before he said. “You gave me this earlier, and I’ve been meaning to give it back to you.”
You watched him, curious. “What?”
Kili moved closer and pressed a long, lingering kiss to your cheek, causing your face to flush with warmth. He whispered, his voice deep and gentle, “Thank you for letting me borrow it.”
***
The next day, just as you had predicted, Bard found your group on the banks of the river. He was defensive at first, but eventually granted the group travel into town in exchange for whatever gold you all could scrape together.
For the first part of the voyage, you were all able to wander about the ship. You pulled out your Polaroid, assessing the damages it had incurred thus far. Part of you expected it to be totally busted, its parts flooded in your ride down the river, but it was functional. Maybe Gandalf had enchanted it to be indestructible.
“Is it broken?” Bofur asked, curious.
“I don’t think so, actually. I definitely thought it would be after everything it’s been through.” You chuckled, holding it in position and snapping a picture of him. A few moments later, it spit the picture out the front. You handed it to him and he watched as it developed.
“Fascinating little thing.” Bofur noted, tilting his head.
“Yeah, it’s pretty cool.” You agreed, tucking it back into your bag.
“Couldn’t happen but notice you and the young prince last night.” Bofur smirked, mischief in his smile. “We’re still on for your smithing lesson, then?”
“As soon as possible, yes.” You nodded. A nervous laugh wrenched its way out of your lips. “I don’t know why I’m so scared.”
“It’s a big moment. I don’t blame you for being a little nervous. But it’s very obvious to me and,” he laughed, “well, everyone else that the lad cares for you. And I, for one, happen to think you’d make a lovely addition to the family.”
“Thank you, Bofur.” You wrapped your arms around your bag, cradling it to you. “I think I needed to hear that.”
“Book Keeper, if I might have a word.” Thorin said, motioning you to the front of the ship.
You nodded and stood from your spot, walking up to meet him. You noticed Kili was sitting on a crate at the back of the boat, his legs dangling from it. He appeared to be working on something very small, but you couldn’t tell what it was from where you were.
“What’s on your mind, your highness?” You asked, standing beside him, staring out into the fog.
“I’ve heard murmurs of something within the company, I was hoping you would confirm or deny them.” Thorin started, looking amused. “I don’t think it should be news to you that my nephew cares for you, yes?”
“I care for him as well, Thorin.” You assured him.
“Mmm.” Thorin nodded. “I hoped as much. I just ask that…if you do not wish to court him, don’t string him along. The boy has had his heart broken too many times. This time, though, I feel he would never recover from it.”
“When we get to Erebor, Balin and Bofur are going to help me make a courting bead.” You told him. “I should have told you long before now, but I never found the time or opportunity.”
Thorin grinned. His hand came to rest on your shoulder, the other resting on his belt. “That is most excellent news. Do you know how you’ll be making it, yet?”
“I don’t know the specifics. I’ve never smithed anything in my life.” You shook your head. “In my realm, smithing isn’t as prominent as it is here. But I was planning to use this.” You held up your hand, showing him the ring. “Balin and Bofur said it should be something sentimental. This ring is usually used to show relationship status in my realm.”
“I heard you discussing it with him the night of the goblins.” Thorin smiled softly. “I didn’t get very much sleep that night either. I think that would work quite well as a courting bead.” He met your eyes, his gaze sincere. This was perhaps the first time you’d connected with the king on a personal level on the entire journey, but you were glad you were finally getting the opportunity. “After everything you’ve done for us, I would be honored to have you as my niece.”
Your breath got caught in your throat, tears pricking your eyes. “You have no idea how much it means to hear you say that.”
“We’re approaching the gates!” Bard warned. “Get back in the barrels.”
With some protest, the dwarves got back into the barrels they’d come there in. You started to climb into the barrel beside Thorin’s, but Bard stopped you.
“You won’t need to. Just cover those ears of yours.” He told you.
You nodded, using your hair to cover their extended points, looking to Bifur to ask if they were covered. He gave you a thumbs-up before ducking back into his barrel. You inhaled nervously and settled yourself as casually as you could on a crate in the corner of the boat.
It was then that several pounds of fish were dumped on top of the dwarves. You cringed for their sake. You had a feeling this was going to be a very smelly evening indeed. You heard a few quiet groans from them, but otherwise, they remained silent, hoping not to blow their cover.
Next, Bard took the ship to the entrance of town, where he was stopped by the gate keeper. He initially was approved to enter until the disgusting little weasel Alfrid decided to pay a visit.
“Oi! Who’s the girl?” He asked, his unibrow scrunching as he looked you up and down. God, he was even more disgusting in person somehow. You were hoping he wouldn’t be real, but it seemed Tolkien had skimmed over him in the book as well. You couldn’t say you blamed him.
“She’s paid her passage. Therefore, she’s entering town.”
“Now, now, now, no one gets into my town without a more…thorough investigation, let’s say.” Alfrid rubbed his sleazy little hands together and you did your best not to gag at the mere thought of him touching you.
“You will not put your hands on her.” Bard said, defending you. “If you so much as breathe on her, I’ll see to it that the whole town knows.”
Alfrid seemed to contemplate this before relenting. “Fine, but if she steps even a toe out of line, she’ll be sleeping in the dungeons.”
“And she won’t.” Bard assured him, seeming annoyed. Not long after, the boat continued, through the narrow waterways to an alley between some buildings. Bard started dumping barrels full of fish-covered dwarves. He instructed them on how to swim under his house and up through the toilet.
“Count yer blessings, lass.” Dwalin muttered before jumping in.
“Oh believe me, I am.” You grimaced at the strong fishy smell wafting from your companions. Once they were all out of the boat, you went with Bard through the front door of his house, met immediately by his daughters and his son.
“Da, who is this?”
“A traveler.” Bard replied. “Bain, get them in.”
Bard’s son walked down the stairs and signaled the Dwarves to start coming into the house.
“If you speak a word of this to anyone, I’ll rip your arms off,” Dwalin threatened, coming out of the murky waters first.
“Why are there dwarves coming out of the toilet?” Bard’s oldest daughter wondered.
“Will they bring us luck?” The youngest asked.
“I can assure you, they are very lucky.” You told her. “They’ve brought me nothing but luck, in fact.”
Kili walked up to you, sopping wet, his clothes and hair thoroughly soaked. You couldn’t help but chuckle a little at his pitiful state, handing him a towel. He buried his face in it before using it to scrunch his wet hair.
“Not feeling so lucky at the moment, however.” Kili muttered. He handed the towel back to you and started ringing out his shirt, water splattering on the floor. “He didn’t touch you, did he?”
“Who?”
“That…sleazy gate keeper man.” Kili looked pissed.
“Alfrid.” Bard’s eldest daughter said, rolling her eyes. “He disgusts me.”
“Yeah, same.” You agreed with her and looked down to Kili, who wouldn’t make eye contact with you, instead, his eyes were fixed on his dark blue shirt, ringing excess water out of it. “He didn’t touch me. He didn’t even come near me.”
“Good.” He nodded, his eyes still serious.
“I’m pretty sure if he’d have breathed on me I would have puked on the spot.” You joked, which did get him to smile again.
“Is he that hideous?” The dwarven prince finally dared to look up at you, a mischievous glimmer in his eye.
“Literally the ugliest person I’ve ever seen in my entire life.”
“Truly gruesome.” Bard’s daughter agreed, cringing. She looked at you and offered her hand. “I’m Sigrid, by the way.”
“(Y/N),” you introduced. “This is Kili.”
The dwarf in question did a little bow. “At your service.”
Bard came into the room, carrying a variety of tools and makeshift weapons. He set them on the table all at once.
“Oh no, these will not do at all.” The dwarves started going through them harshly.
“We need iron-forged weapons! Not fishing supplies.” Gloin shook his head.
“All of the weapons in town are held under lock and key in the armory.” Bard told them. “These are the best I can do.”
“Book Keeper?” Balin looked to you for advice.
“Um, let me check.” You reached into your bag and pulled out the thin paperback book you’d been referencing the entire time. You used the table of contents to flip to the chapter about Laketown. “Okay, so um, under cover of night, you sneak into the armory to take the weapons, you get caught, but when you tell the Master and the rest of the town about the quest, they celebrate and give you weapons and a feast and a place to stay.”
“What is that book?” Bard asked. “Is she a Seer?”
“Not quite. Just a…reader, I suppose.” You shrugged. “I’m from a place where all of this is a story.”
“A feast sounds quite nice…” Fili raised an eyebrow. Bombur nodded in fierce agreement.
“Then we do what the Book Keeper says.” Thorin nodded at you, grateful for your guidance. “We leave at nightfall. Ready yourselves in the meantime.”
***
The dwarves set out to retrieve the weapons sometime after dark. You stayed at Bard’s house with his kids, waiting nervously to hear the commotion in the middle of town begin. Bard, obviously, had quite a few questions for you.
“You’ve been traveling with them? For how long?”
“Quite a while. Almost half a year now.” You said, just now realizing how long it had been. “It doesn’t feel like it’s been that long, though. They’re a lot. They’re loud and kind of messy sometimes, but…they’re fiercely loyal. They’ve saved my life more times than I can count. I really do consider them family.”
“You knew I’d find you on the bank of that river, then?” He asked, his dark eyebrows furrowing.
“I was counting on it.”
“Interesting.” He nodded.
“How long have you known the younger one? Kili, I think his name is.” Sigrid asked.
“I’ve known of him for years. I’ve known of all of you for years, actually. But I met him at the same time as the rest of them, why?”
“You two seem to have known each other for ages.” She sighed. “The way he looks at you…It’s like there are a million stars in his eyes.”
“Oh I know.” You laughed softly. “Once we get to Erebor, I’m finally going to do something about it.”
A call came from the center of town, echoing into the distance. “Explain yourselves, dwarves!”
“Oop, there it is.”
“Just as she said…” Bain mumbled, thoroughly impressed.
You got up and rushed to the door, following the crowds of people into town, where the dwarves were being held by guards. You were careful to cover your pointed ears just in case their attention wandered to you, but you were sure the rest of the townsfolk were pretty well distracted.
“I am Thorin! Son of Thrain, son of Thror, King under the mountain! I have come to reclaim our home from the dragon Smaug!” Thorin declared, fire in his eyes. He really did sound like a king when he spoke like that. You got chills up your spine just listening to him.
The crowd began to murmur about a prophecy, the word whispered amongst them. The Master perked up at this. He, like his lackey Alfrid, was absolutely grotesque, any sliver of dignity eaten away by his immense greed.
“If we succeed in our quest, we will share our bounty with Laketown.” Thorin promised. You knew when you all actually arrived in Erebor, that might change, but you hoped you’d be able to convince him to keep his word. “You have my word. All we ask is weapons and shelter until we make our leave.”
The Master thought about it for a long moment before he made his decision. “Welcome to Laketown, dwarves! Let us eat, drink, and be merry to celebrate their quest to reclaim Erebor!”
The townsfolk all cheered and the guards finally let go of the dwarves. You walked to Kili, who looked up at you with stars in his eyes, just the way Sigrid had described. It sent warmth blossoming through your stomach.
“You always seem to be right, Amrâlimê.” He murmured, his arms settling around your waist and pulling you close to him.
“I wonder why that is.” You chuckled, arms wrapping around him as well. You tilted his head up towards you with a gentle hand. “Everything go okay? Well, until…you know.”
“More than okay.” Kili smiled that boyish grin of his. It was at times like these that it was hard for you to believe he was hiding seventy-seven years behind that youthful face. “I cannot wait to get to Erebor.”
“It’s close now, isn’t it?”
“Very much so.” He nodded, pressing up on his toes to kiss your cheek before tugging you into the pub, where the rest of the group was beginning the celebrations.
Musicians were in the corner, playing lively lake shanties, the bartenders were slinging drinks faster than you could comprehend, and there was more food than you’d seen since the group left Rivendell so long ago. You settled into a seat in the corner, at a table with Fili, Bofur, and Kili, the last of whom left to grab drinks. While Kili was away, Fili leaned forward to speak to you over the noise.
“(Y/N), would you visit the market with me tomorrow?” He asked, feigning innocence. You suspected there was something going on, but you didn’t call him out on it.
“Yeah, of course, Fili. Shopping for anything in particular, or…?”
“Supplies and whatnot. For Uncle.” He added, although you were fairly certain it had nothing to do with Thorin.
“Okay, sure, I’ll help.”
He grinned. “Excellent.”
“You like mead, right, (Y/N)?” Kili asked, sliding a mug to you. “You seemed to like the kind the elves had in Rivendell.”
“I do like mead. Thank you.” You grinned and took the mug of the drink, taking a few tentative sips. It was good, but it was very strong.
“I asked if they had blueberry, but they didn’t, only raspberry and some strawberry.”
“It’s good.” You assured him. “You remembered what kind of mead I had all the way back then?”
“I remember everything about that night.” He winked.
The company drank and ate and drank some more. You hadn’t been drunk in a good, long while, so you finally let loose a bit, giving into the warmth and numbness of the alcohol flowing through your veins. You got a bit giggly, watching the dwarves dance and joke around.
“It’s all about unwinding and having a good time, isn’t it?” Ori rambled, rocking in time to the music. “That’s what these adventures are for.”
“Absolutely.” You nodded. “We have a phrase where I come from…‘maybe the real adventure was the friends we met along the way.’ And you guys are like my best friends. I love all of youuu.”
Kili turned to look at you very dramatically, bewildered at the way you were talking. “You’re drunk!” He laughed, pointing.
“So are you!”
He shook his head, though he was obviously lying. “Nonsense. I can hold my beer.”
“Bullshit, laddie!” Dwalin bellowed. “You’re the lightest weight of all of us here, the lass included!”
“Am not!” Kili huffed, crossing his arms.
“I’m a lightweight. Very much so.” You argued, shaking your head. “I’m only (height). It goes straight to my head.”
“He’s only 4’10”!” Gloin’s laugh echoed off the walls, and the whole company laughed with him.
“Oh right.” You shook your head. “I always forget.”
The band picked up a lively tune and Kili abandoned his drink and the laughing company. He took your hand and tugged you onto the dancefloor that had formed. The two of you did your best to follow along with the dance the people of Laketown were doing, twirling each other around, skipping along to the music around and around and around.
You and Kili laughed and laughed, dancing until the music stopped and you lost your footing, inadvertently pulling him down with you. You landed in a heap on the floor, his strong arms on either side of you and his face right in front of you, his warmth radiating onto you, even warmer than it usually was, due to the alcohol in his system.
Finally, things seemed to slow down as you sobered up due to his proximity and that look in his brown eyes. You imagined him leaning in and kissing you, what his lips would feel like against yours, rough and filled with passion and fire. You imagined the way his scruff would feel against your skin and the way his large, strong hands would wander your body. You wanted it. You wanted him.
“Are you alright?” He chuckled, looking you over for damages, but only finding a tipsy Book Keeper with flushed cheeks.
“I’m great.” You insisted, leaning forward and resting your forehead against his. “I’m always great when you’re around, Kili.”
You didn’t miss the way he lit up when you said it. Instead of replying, though, he pressed a messy kiss to your cheek and pulled you to your feet again. You walked back to the others, some of whom were grumbling and exchanging money with one another. If you didn’t know any better, you would have sworn they were taking bets over when and how you and Kili would finally kiss. Unsurprisingly, Balin and Thorin and Bofur were on the receiving end of most of the coin.
You walked, albeit a little wobbly, back to your chair. Once you settled, Balin handed you a mug of what you came to realize was water. It always seemed he was taking care of you, and you very much appreciated it.
“Lassie, could you settle a bet between us?” Dwalin asked.
“I’m a lil’ drunk, but I probably could.” You tilted your head, crossing your legs on the chair you’d settled on. “What’s going on?”
The company laughed a little at your drunkenness.
“Great. Do you know what a One is?”
“I can count.” You insisted, furrowing your eyebrows.
The dwarves all laughed, and then Bofur added, “With a capital O, lass.”
“Ohhhhhhh. That makes more sense.” You giggled a bit and took a sip of water, praying for some sobriety for this conversation. “I do. Kind of. They’re like soulmates, right? Like…and correct me if I’m wrong…the belief that you were created as half of a whole and that your One is the other half?”
“I told you. Pay up.” Fili held up his hand. He tilted his head to you. “Thank you very much.”
“Did he tell you that?” Dwalin asked, shoving a few coins into the golden prince’s hand.
“No.” You shook your head. “I read about it where I’m from.”
“There are works about Ones where you’re from?” Ori asked, genuinely curious.
“Oh yeah.” You nodded. “They’re not in the Book so I didn’t know if they were a real thing or not, but there’s some works about them, yeah.”
You took a long sip of water from your mug and missed the look Fili gave his brother.
Once the party was over and the sun was just beginning to peek over the horizon once more, you all headed to the lodging the town was providing for all of you, a large house with plenty of beds, and claimed one for yourself, falling asleep almost instantly. And yet, drifting somewhere between asleep and awake, you swore you felt a pair of soft lips against your forehead.
***
Before coming to Middle Earth, you’d never had a hangover before. Sure, you were twenty-three, but while you were in college, you’d been focused on finishing your degree. You’d been drunk, sure, but never badly enough that you were hungover the next day. And yet, now, you had a pounding headache that could only be explained by the mere amount of alcohol you’d consumed the night before.
Most of the dwarves were still asleep by the time you came around, their snores all too familiar by this point in your journey with them. You spotted Kili in a bed across the room next to an empty bed you assumed belonged to Fili. He was still passed out, snoring. You smiled to yourself. There he was, your Prince Charming.
You reached for the book in your bag, which was hanging on the end of the bed you’d found yourself in.
The sun was up now, and streaming through the windows, so you opened the book and read the next couple of sections. What came next was the hike up to Erebor, then a confrontation with Smaug, and then, said dragon would be killed by Bard. You wished there was something you could do to stop the destruction. Smaug would destroy Laketown and kill many of the people who lived there. There would be survivors, sure, but…there must be some way to warn them, surely. But there was also the chance that if you told them to evacuate town, Bard might not be there to stop the dragon. You were pretty sure he was the only one who could.
You sighed. Sometimes your knowledge of things to come was a blessing. It had helped you protect the company, keep them ahead of schedule on their journey. Other times, like this, it made you feel guilty, even though there was no real way you could save the men of the village. Some things had to happen; Smaug’s death was one of them. And besides, you’d seen the Master, you knew he was skeptical of the dwarves as is. If he knew it was kind of their fault the dragon would be headed towards Laketown, you had no clue what would happen to them. Then none of you would make it to Erebor. In fact, he’d probably burn you at the stake for being a witch while he was at it.
“You ready to go?” Came Fili’s gruff whisper. He was all dressed and ready for a day on the town. Right. You’d agreed to go to the market with him.
“What time is it?” You asked, eyes bleary.
“Sometime after noon. The market is open. Thought I’d let you get some sleep, though.” He grinned and waggled his eyebrows at you. “You had quite the night last night, Book Keeper.”
You motioned to the rest of the dwarves that were still out cold. “I think we all did.”
You stretched and got out of bed, rummaging through your clothes for something suitable to wear and changed quickly before meeting Fili outside the house, your bag slung over your shoulder.
“Is there anything you need from the market today, Book Keeper?” Fili asked. “I scoped out the stalls earlier. The merchants have agreed to furnish us with anything we need before we leave.”
“Did you see anyone selling dresses?” You asked. “Not anything super fancy, just…clean and nice.”
“I saw some, yes. Any particular occasion?”
You paused, looking at him and the mischievous look in his eye. “Why, what do you know?”
“Oh nothing, nothing…” He shook his head, walking along. “I think I did see one. This way.”
Fili led you down through the market stalls to one run by a kindly old woman. She had several simple dresses. Vibrant greens and oranges. They were perfect now that the leaves were changing color. The orange would go well with your cloak, but the green would match the courting bead once it was made. Choices, choices…
“Hello, lass.” The old woman greeted you. “How can I help you today?”
“I’m looking for a dress.” You told her. “I love this green color.”
“It matches your ring, dear.” She smiled, noticing the gem around your finger.
“That’s what I thought, too.” You told her.
“Is it for any occasion in particular?”
Fili looked away, pretending to be distracted by something in the next stall.
“It is, actually. It doesn’t need to be anything very fancy, but…I’m planning on wearing it to tell the man I love that I want to court him.” You told her.
She gasped, her eyes twinkling. She took your hand in both of hers. “I have just the thing.”
She led you by the hand into her house and let you try on the perfect dress. Its fabric was soft, a deep emerald green. Along its hem, several wildflowers were embroidered with sage green and lavender thread. It was beautiful, though not too flashy, and it went perfectly with your ring.
It was absolutely perfect.
Though she insisted you didn’t have to pay her, wanting to give it to you for the occasion, you gave her most of the coins Gandalf allotted you at the beginning of the journey. You’d been saving them for something special, and this felt right.
Once you changed out of it, you met Fili back in front of the stall. He looked at you, expectant.
“Well?”
“I found one. It’s very nice.” You smiled, patting your bag. “Now, what did you need to buy?”
“Hmm?”
“…for your uncle?” You reminded him.
“Ah, right! For Uncle! Yes, um, just some provisions is all. More food, some supplies; rope and wood and things…”
“Mmhmm.” You hummed, unconvinced.
Fili led you through the market, purchasing a few things here and there. But you could tell he was just biding his time until he finally asked what he’d actually brought you there to talk about. “So um…It seems none of us have ever asked you how humans from your realm…court.”
You laughed in disbelief. “Oh my god.”
“It’s not for me!”
“I know that.” You shook your head.
Fili stared at you, waiting for more of a reply. “How might a dwarf go about that? About courting a human. A human woman. If he so wanted to. I don’t. No offense, of course, you’re lovely, Book Keeper.”
“Fili…” You hesitated for a long moment. You knew he and Kili were close. Beyond close, in fact. You trusted Bofur and Balin to keep your not-so-secret secret, but could you tell Fili without indirectly telling Kili?
Fili’s expression fell. “Do you not love him?”
Your took a breath, forming your words. “Fili, I love your brother more than I have ever loved anyone in my entire life.”
He breathed in relief. “Thank Mahal…”
“It’s just that, um…Balin and Bofur are teaching me to smith a courting bead for him. Once we get to Erebor, I mean. I wish I could do it sooner, but I want to do it properly.” You breathed, fiddling with your claddagh ring nervously. “I want it to be perfect.”
Fili looked at you for a long time, his eyes soft. “You really do love him.”
You nodded. “I do.”
“Well…” He scratched the back of his neck. “He sent me here to get information on how to take matters into his own hands. My brother has never been…patient, let’s just say.”
You laughed. “Oh, I know.” You thought for a moment. “Just tell him…it’s a long, complicated, confusing process, but…flowers are usually a good start.”
“Is it actually complicated where you’re from?”
“Yes. I wish our customs were as straight-forward as yours. With humans, it’s all a guessing game. You go on a few dates together, but there’s always the question of who asks who out, and who pays for the meal and when do you have a first kiss, when do you take the next step, it’s all…experimenting and feeling things out. And sometimes, you think someone is really into you and they’re not and then your heart gets broken because they were acting like they liked you, but they didn’t and they just slowly stop talking to you altogether. Or maybe things moved too fast and it scared them away…so many things that could go wrong. And then you don’t know how many dates you go on before you’re actually considered dating, well, courting, I guess. Same thing, really. Could be three or four, could be a lot more than that…it’s rough.”
Fili was stunned silent for a long moment. “That does sound…awful.”
“It is.”
He looked around awkwardly, unsure of exactly what else to say. “So…what kind of flowers do you want?”
***
That night was the last night the company was staying in Laketown. Your efforts had bought the group some extra time to spend on the hike up to Erebor. You were spending the evening to yourself. The dwarves were out drinking in the pub, so you were in the house alone, preparing your things for more travel.
You sat on the bed you had claimed and went through your pack, organizing your clothes, folding them in piles. You pulled out your stack of polaroid photos and started shuffling through them. There were so many that you and the dwarves had taken over the course of the journey. The guys making silly faces, cooking dinner over a campfire, dancing and singing songs together, visiting all kinds of beautiful places together. You’d always known Middle Earth would be beautiful, but you had no idea the extent of it. And yet, after having been there for so long, it was beginning to feel more like home to you than the realm you’d come from.
You stared at one picture in particular, one of Thorin, Fili, and Kili all together. You couldn’t stop the tears from flowing down your cheeks. It was about time you faced the inevitable. Your own personal quest to save the line of Durin was nearing every moment. You weren’t sure what to do about it. You hadn’t told anyone, obviously. You didn’t even know what they would say. And if you did tell them, there was the chance that it would make them nervous and even more likely to die. Or, worse, one of the others could die as well. That blood would be on your hands.
You found yourself wishing, now more than ever, that Gandalf was there so you could ask him for advice. He was the only one who would know that to do.
Instead, however, the first to wander back from the festivities was none other than Bilbo Baggins, a smile on his face and a wooden mug of something in his hand.
“(Y/N), what are you doing in here all alone?” He spotted the tears running down your face and stopped, his expression softening. “Are you alright?”
“I’m okay,” you nodded, sniffling and wiping away your tears as quickly as you could. “Just, uh, taking a little stroll down memory lane, I guess.” You held up some pictures and he nodded, walking closer.
“You know, if there’s anything you need to talk about, I’ve got open ears.” Bilbo offered, closing the door behind him. “I may not be as wise as Balin, but I like to think I’ve acquired some wisdom of my own on this trip.”
“Thank you.” You chuckled, nodding. “I appreciate it, Bilbo.” You let out a long, shaking sigh. “I really wish I could tell you what’s going on, but I don’t want to put you in harm’s way.”
Bilbo nodded, thinking for a long moment before replying. “Whatever it is you’re facing now…you’ve been carrying it for a while, haven’t you?”
“For longer than I’ve known any of you.” You admitted.
“Well, whatever it is you’re carrying…you don’t have to carry it alone. If you need to tell someone, it can be me. You’ve carried my burdens, let me share yours.”
“Okay, well…” You choked back a sob, pulling the book out of your bag. You flipped through the pages at the very back of it, scanning the tiny words carefully. What you hated the most about it was how easy it was to miss. Like an afterthought. One sentence that broke your heart a million times over.
You pointed and handed the book to Bilbo so he could read it for himself. You couldn’t bear the thought of reading the words out loud. “Am I allowed to read straight from the book?”
You nodded, so he allowed himself to scan over the words, and as soon as he did, he let out a sigh and shook his head.
“Wow, (Y/N), I’m so…” Bilbo exhaled. “You’ve known this the whole time?”
“That’s the reason I’m here. Gandalf told me…he said I’d be able to change it. To try at least.” You shook your head, new, hot tears trailing down your face. “I don’t know. I’m just…so scared.”
“You have every right to be.” Bilbo said. “And, especially now, with everything between the two of you…” He handed you the book back and looked you in the eye. “I am so sorry. Have you…have you spoken to Gandalf about it since then?”
“Not directly. He’s never here for long.”
“Ask for his advice. I’m sure he’ll know what to do.” Bilbo assured you. “And if he doesn’t, well…you and I are rather good at making plans together. We will figure this out.” He took your hands, very serious. “You’re not going to lose him, alright? I promise you.”
You sniffled and nodded, looking at him for a good, long moment before pulling him into your arms. “Thank you.”
“Of course, Book Keeper.”
***
The next morning, bright and early, just before the company was set to leave for Erebor, you knocked on Bard’s door, nervous. In your hand was a note, a warning about the dragon that was set to come for their town. You explained it as well as you could in a way that you hoped he would understand. It was inevitable, but if he was prepared, it might prevent damage to the town, save some lives.
When he opened the door, he had a dismissive look on his face before he saw that it was you.
“Oh. Hello. (Y/N), was it?”
“Yeah. Hi Bard. Um, so, you can take this with a grain of salt if you want, but I thought you should know.” You handed the note to him and he held it, hesitant.
He raised an eyebrow. “A prophecy from the Book Keeper?”
You nodded. “So it would seem. And thank you for helping the dwarves. I know they probably didn’t thank you properly. I’ll do my best to make sure they hold up their end of the bargain.”
He stared at you for a long moment. “Thank you. Best of luck to you.”
It was a weird moment when you stepped down from his stairs, back down to the dock where Kili was waiting for you. It felt significant. Bard had an impact on you when you’d read the story as a child. It felt…right to help him now. And you knew how important he’d be for the outcome of the story and everything that would come after Smaug’s death.
Not long after, the company boarded a boat and set off towards the shores nearest Erebor. It was beautiful. The waters were fairly calm, the sky was alight with color…You watched as Laketown got smaller and smaller behind you, the Lonely Mountain growing closer and closer.
You caught Kili squinting at the distant grass, searching for wildflowers, no doubt. You couldn’t stop your heart from melting at the sight.
“I bought some things at the market in Laketown. When we get camp set up, I’ll have Thorin send Kili and Fili out to scout for a bit.” Balin told you, his voice quiet. “And then we can get started.”
“Awesome.” You nodded, a chill running up your spine. It was finally happening. You stared at the ring around your finger and couldn’t help but smile thinking about its future. “Thank you, Balin.”
The old dwarf smiled, a twinkle in his eye. “Don’t mention it, dear. I’m quite excited myself.”
Six of the dwarves paddled the boat for a few hours. Not long after, they switched. Kili had been paddling during the first shift, so once he was finished, he plopped down in the seat beside yours, his leg resting against yours. He kept staring up at the Lonely Mountain, his eyes absolutely glimmering with excitement to finally have reached your destination.
“Isn’t it beautiful?” He asked, his voice soft and sentimental.
“It really is.” You agreed, nodding. You imagined years from now when the rest of the dwarves journeyed to Erebor from wherever they had gone to since, business bustling, children laughing. You knew it would be so beautiful. You hoped you’d get to stick around to see it. You still weren’t sure how it would work when everything was done.
Kili slipped his hand into yours and squeezed it excitedly, bringing it to his lips. You swore your heart skipped a beat. Any of the dwarves that witnessed this interaction laughed softly to themselves.
The boat landed some time later when the sun was beginning to tickle the tops of the hills nearby. Thorin decided to camp as far from the mountain as possible, as to, hopefully, not wake the dragon overnight, but he would have dwarves posted on guard all night just in case. He was ever-grateful you’d bought them an extra day of time. The following day was Durin’s day, which meant that around tomorrow evening, the dwarves would enter Erebor finally, and, inevitably, Bilbo would wake the dragon.
Yikes.
As soon as you got out of the boat, you spotted a crate not too far from the shore and scrunched your eyebrows at it. While the others started unloading things, you walked over to the big box and noticed a piece of paper sitting on top of it. Upon closer inspection, it was addressed to you.
“What is that, lass?” Dwalin asked, noticing your absence.
“It’s addressed to me.” You read the words in your head.
My Dear Book Keeper,
Do not stress to much over the days to come
It will all work itself out in the end.
Well done so far. Enjoy these with the company.
I’ll see you soon.
-Gandalf
“It’s from Gandalf.” You told them, pushing the lid off of the crate to find a whole bunch of bottles of black cherry cream soda. “He brought us that cream soda I like.”
“I wonder what it tastes like…” Dori wondered.
“We’ll have it with dinner this evening.” Thorin declared. “For now, set up camp and keep an eye on the skies.” He stared up at the mountain for a long time. It would be quite the hike tomorrow, but you knew it would be well worth it.
Sometime after they got the boat unpacked, the camp set up, Thorin sent Kili and Fili out to scout and Balin and Bofur found you not long after, looking excited.
Balin took a tiny kit of jeweling tools out of his bag and unrolled it, showing you all the tools he had at your disposal.
“Alright, lassie, do you have an idea of what kind of design you’d like to do?”
“The bead should be pretty thick, right? Is this circumference okay, or should it be smaller?” You asked.
“Let me see.” Balin held out his hand and you carefully set the ring in his palm. He pulled out the little glass eyepiece he used for reading to examine it more carefully. “Kili’s hair is quite thin, so it might be wise to bring it in a little bit, but in terms of thickness, yes, it should be a thicker band.”
“I got some chains at the market. They’re silver, so they’ll match.” Bofur said, presenting a few broken pieces of jewelry he’d picked up at the market. Well, either he had picked them up or Nori had…borrowed them, one of the two. “Should add onto it quite nicely once it’s melted down.”
“Wait, is she courting Kili?” Ori asked, completely unaware until that very moment that something was going on between you and the youngest prince. “Why am I always the last to know?”
“She will be, but for now, keep quiet, lad.” Dwalin, roughed up Ori’s hair. He met your eyes over the fire and winked at you. “Would hate to ruin the surprise.”
The three of you worked quickly, with Balin and Bofur directing you through every step of the process. The other members of the party occasionally chimed in with advice. Thorin watched the whole exchange with proud eyes. He didn’t say much, but you could tell he approved.
And once it was finally done and cool enough to touch, you couldn’t stop looking at it.
“I think he’ll love it.” Bilbo said, smiling proudly.
“It is quite beautiful, (Y/N).” Thorin complimented. “Very impressive for your first work.”
“I had some really great teachers.” You said, emotion welling in your voice. You looked at all of the dwarves that were around you, Bilbo sitting among them as well. This was your family. These were your boys, and even with Kili and Fili out scouting for the moment, you still very much loved and appreciated each dwarf in attendance. “You guys really mean a lot to me. All of you. All of your advice, your comfort, your lessons…I will carry all of them with me for the rest of my life.”
“Don’t go all soft on us now, lass.” Dwalin tilted his head, compassion in his dark eyes. “We’ve got plenty of time for that.”
“Right.” You laughed softly, nodding.
“When are you going to do it?” Dori asked. He’d always been something of a hopeless romantic, as he’d told you. Loved the idea of young love and the innocence and beauty that came with it.
“I was going to wait until the day after tomorrow to do it. I can’t give too many details now, but…I don’t want to distract him while there’s still a dragon here.”
“That’s a good plan.” Balin put his hand on your arm. “Best of luck to you, dear, but I doubt you’ll need it.”
***
Kili and Fili came back sometime later, and once they did, the rest of the party finally got into the drinks Gandalf had sent. You’d all found some large logs to sit on around the fire. You’d tucked the bead into a pocket for safe keeping and were sitting there, staring into the flames when Kili approached, a bouquet of wildflowers in his hand. They were beautiful, purple stalks with smaller yellow flowers in between.
He seemed nervous, standing for a moment before deciding to sit on the log next to you. You could tell he was rehearsing in his head how to word what he was about to say next. Thinking about it, you had been a bit vague in the advice you’d given to Fili.
“These, um…I picked them for you.” He said, handing the bouquet to you. “I hope you…like them.”
“These are beautiful, Kili.” You assured him, holding the flowers and admiring them for a long moment. “Thank you.”
“Of course.” He nodded, taking a shaky breath. “I’m glad you think so.”
There was a moment of quiet and you could tell he was contemplating asking whether or not this meant you were courting now, but he didn’t say anything else, unsure of exactly what to say. So, you decided to fill the quiet.
Setting the flowers carefully on top of your bag, you took Kili’s hand and leaned on his shoulder. “I’m really glad I came here, Kili.”
“To Erebor?” He asked quietly.
“To Middle Earth.”
He squeezed your hand. “I am too.”
“It’s been a while since you’ve spoken of home, lass,” Dwalin pointed out. Everyone was circled up now, facing the fire and sipping on their bottles of black cherry cream soda.
“Yeah, you don’t talk about it much anymore.” Ori agreed, nodding.
“It’s…well, it’s pretty boring, honestly. I’m no fighter. I’m a writer. I’ve been writing a fantasy novel, ironically enough, but I got stuck and didn’t know where to take the story.” You shrugged, lifting your head from the dwarf prince’s shoulder, but not letting go of his hand. “There’s no elves or goblins or trolls or…magic there. We latch onto these stories of whimsy and adventure so much because we don’t have it where I’m from. It makes us feel alive.”
You were quiet for a moment, fetching the book from your bag.
“I’ve had this book since I was twelve years old. I had to read it for a class when I was in middle school. Usually I hated reading things I was forced to read, but…I knew this book was different. I could feel it, even then. A classic adventure, a quest to kill a dragon, but there was so much more to it. My friends and I were excited to read the assigned chapters every week to see what trouble you guys would get into and then fight your way out of. It was fun. And at the time we were reading it, they were also in the process of making movies about you guys.”
“What’s a movie?” Fili asked, seated on Kili’s other side.
“Oh. Right. Well, um…a movie is like a play. Kind of. Except the whole thing is recorded with a camera. Imagine if my Polaroid could make moving pictures with sound. It’s like that. Moving pictures with sound that tell a story. And so my classmates and I all took a trip to the theater together to see them and it was really special. I couldn’t imagine then that I’d ever be here, that I’d ever see these events with my own eyes, intervene in them. Even before I knew you guys existed, you had a really big impact on my life. You all got me through some tough times.”
“And you’ve gotten us through tough times.” Bilbo smiled. “I’d say we’re probably even now.”
“I don’t know. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to repay all of you for everything you’ve done for me. So I guess I’ll just have to stick around and keep trying.”
“Will you stay?” Kili asked, his voice quiet. “A long time ago you told me if you got the choice, you would. Is that still…how you feel?”
The company was quiet, waiting for your response.
“If I get to choose, I will absolutely stay here. If you’d all have me, of course.” You were looking at Kili now, your other hand joining the first, holding his. “I don’t think I could live in a realm that doesn’t have you in it.”
Kili leaned forward and pressed a kiss to your forehead before pulling you into his arms. You reciprocated the hug immediately, surrendering to his warmth. You felt the tears trail down your cheeks. Unlike the night before, you weren’t sobbing, you weren’t sniffling. You were barely making any noise at all, but that didn’t seem to stop the tears from flowing.
“(Y/N), you will always have a place in our halls.” Thorin said, watching his nephew embrace you. “You and the Burglar both. You’re our kin now.”
“Once we get the library back in working order, we’ll need a Book Keeper.” Nori pointed out, causing the others to laugh.
You nodded and pulled away from Kili. He noticed your tears immediately and reached out to wipe them away.
“Oh, Amrâlimê, there’s no need for tears.”
“Someday you’re going to have to tell me what that word means,” you whispered, a soft laugh escaping you.
He smiled. “Soon.”
“Promise?” You held out your pinkie finger.
He stared at it for a long time. “What am I meant to do with this, Book Keeper?”
You reached for his hand and shaped his fingers, tucking them all down aside from his pinkie. “This is a very important human custom where I’m from. Sacred almost. Everyone pay attention.” You told the others, linking your pinkie with Kili’s. “We call this a Pinkie Promise. It’s an unbreakable oath.”
“Why are you just teaching us this now?” Fili laughed.
“Unbreakable, you say?” Kili laughed, his pinkie curling tighter around yours.
“Unbreakable. Now you have to tell me someday.”
He smiled. “Deal.”
***
You didn’t really get much sleep that night. Too much on your mind. The next morning, the dwarves packed up their supplies just as the sun was peeking over the horizon again. It was going to be quite the hike. Honestly, you were excited for it. It felt right, finally being there after everything you’d all been through to reach Erebor.
While getting ready for the day, you put some of the flowers Kili had given you in your hair, tucking them into the single braid that sat on your shoulder.
Kili gasped and you looked down at him, his eyes fixed on your bare finger, just now noticing that your ring was gone. “Amrâlimê, where’s your ring?”
“Oh.” Your eyes widened and you looked at your hand and then at him. “I guess it must have slipped off at some point.”
Kili started scanning the ground for something small and shiny. “Fili, help me look.”
“For what?”
“For (Y/N)’s ring!” Kili exclaimed, exasperated.
You bit your lip, unsure of what to do. You looked to Balin for advice, who shrugged, chuckling.
“We can look for a moment, but we must get going.” Thorin insisted. “We have no time to waste.”
“Uncle—”
“It’s okay, Kili,” you met his eyes.
“But your ring…”
You reached out and tilted his face up towards yours. “If it’s meant for me to have, it’ll find me again.
His eyes softened and he let out a breath. “You are wise beyond your years, you know.”
You shrugged, smirking. “Seems you guys have rubbed off on me.”
After the slight delay, the group got moving again, walking closer and closer to the base of the Lonely Mountain. There were footpaths up to the entrance, sure, but they were steep, and since the mountain had been uninhabited for so long, they had eroded in the weather, making it difficult to walk.
Kili went on ahead of you, offering his hand and tugging you up when the steps were too steep. Sometimes, he’d let his hand linger in yours, fiddling with your fingers. You would never forget the way he looked at you, like you were made of starlight. No person you had ever been romantically involved with had ever looked at you like that before. God, you wanted to kiss him so bad.
Finally, after hours of hiking, the group reached the landing where the secret door was hidden. You pulled out the book while one of the other dwarves consulted the map. The sun would be setting soon, so all there was to do was wait.
“Are we sure this is the spot?” Ori asked.
“Yes.” Thorin nodded. “Book Keeper?”
“We’re all good here. Just keep an eye out for the hole. Watch for it while the sun is setting just in case, but it should show up by the light of the moon.” You told them. “But yeah, make sure you double-check during the sunset, just to be safe.”
“Good, good.” The king nodded, resting for a moment. “The light of the moon?”
“Yeah. Would have been a real heart-breaking moment for a second until Bilbo spotted it when the sun went down and the moon came out. The rest of you all gave up, but he didn’t.” You told them, tucking the book away again. For a bit, you took a seat against the stone wall and drank some water, tired from the long hike.
“Are you alright? Is there anything you need?” Kili asked, kneeling in front of you.
“I’m just a little tired. How are you doing?”
“I’m doing well.” He settled in, sitting with you. “Those flowers look very beautiful in your hair like that.”
“You picked some lovely ones, what can I say?”
“Are they…adequate?” He wondered, his eyes sincere and unsure.
“They are perfect.” You assured him, taking both of his hands in yours. You so wished you could just do it here and now, just tell him everything and ask to braid that beautiful hair of his. But it was so close to the door opening. There were bigger things to deal with, more important matters at hand. “Kili…”
“Yes, Amrâlimê, what is it?” He searched your eyes.
“Can I sleep on your leg? I didn’t get very much sleep last night and things are about to get…difficult when that door is opened…”
“Oh. Yes, of course, come here.” He adjusted into a position that would be comfortable for you.
You laid down, using his thigh as a pillow, pulling your cloak around yourself as a blanket.
“Get some rest, Book Keeper.” Balin told you. “I have a feeling we’ll need you once we’re inside.”
You nodded and let yourself close your eyes. And when you did, you felt Kili’s careful fingers playing with your hair, gently lulling you to some well-needed sleep.
***
When you awoke, the sun was setting and the dwarves were watching carefully for the keyhole to open. Kili had not moved at all. His hand was still playing with your hair. You hummed and stretched, turning to look up at him. He smiled once he saw your face.
“You sleep well?”
“Mmhmm.” You nodded, sitting up. “Thank you.”
“Just in time.” Bilbo said.
The sun continued to dip beneath the hills, and soon, the moon emerged. Sure enough, there was the keyhole. You smiled. You were right. Of course you were, but it still felt good. However, you knew what else this night would bring.
“There it is…” Thorin murmured, holding up the key as the thrush knocked against the stone.
“We’ve done it. We finally made it.” Balin was clearly getting emotional, his voice betraying him.
Dwalin put a hand on his brother’s shoulder, nodding. The dwarves all stood at attention, watching anxiously as Thorin slipped the key into the hole and turned it. The door gave way, drifting open into the Lonely Mountain.
Kili’s breath stuttered and when you looked at him, his eyes were watering. You took his hand, giving it a supportive squeeze. You knew how long he’d been waiting for this moment. He’d grown up hearing tales of Erebor, their stolen homeland, and had longed to return.
Balin and Thorin lead the other dwarves inside tentatively, touching the stone walls and looking at the carvings upon them. Balin explained one of the carvings, one depicting the Throne of the Kings with the Arkenstone sitting in it, its rays of light shining out, representing the seven dwarven kingdoms.
“I cannot believe it.” Fili whispered, eyes watering as well.
The dwarves were careful to not make too much noise, but they all spent a lot of time embracing each other, celebrating silently before going back outside to wait for the Burglar to scope out the scene. Bilbo did, however, pull you aside to ask for some advice before heading down.
“Balin has requested I retrieve the Arkenstone if I find it…What advice do you have on the matter?”
“You’ll find it down there.” You knelt down to whisper in his ear, as to not be overheard. “Hold onto it. Keep it somewhere safe. You’ll need it for…the days to come. But don’t tell the others.”
“Okay.” He nodded. “Thank you.”
“When, um…when we hear the dragon start moving, we’ll come down to help. It’ll all work out.” You were confident on the matter, and that helped instill a bit of confidence in him as well. “Any other questions?”
“No, I don’t think so.” He shrugged. “Here goes nothing.”
“Master Burglar,” Kili approached suddenly, a tentative look on his face. “I have a request as well…”
“I’ll see you outside.” You told Kili before leaving the both of them there.
Fili was waiting outside with the others on the balcony where you were all waiting together. You hadn’t told them exactly what was coming, but they knew they’d need to be on alert.
“Did he tell you what he’s requesting from Bilbo?” You asked Fili.
“I’m sworn to secrecy, Book Keeper.” Fili chuckled. “He made me do a Pinkie Promise and everything.”
You laughed at that. “Well, I could never ask you to break a Pinkie Promise.”
A short while later, Kili came out to stand with the others. You looked at him, curious, but he didn’t tell you what he’d asked for, only brushed the hair out of the front of your face, warmth in his eyes.
“What now, Book Keeper?” asked Dwalin, his hands resting on his belt.
“Now we wait.” You told them. “Shouldn’t be long. Maybe an hour or so. And then we’ll need to go in there and save him.”
“Does he—”
“He knows.” You assured Dori, who looked concerned for your hobbit’s wellbeing. “I told him. We’ll go down there and drive the dragon out and then…he won’t be our problem anymore.”
“And just how do we do that?” Thorin asked.
You reached into your bag and opened the book, flipping to pretty close to the end of it. “In the book, he just kind of gets pissed off and leaves. I doubt it will be that simple, though.”
“Is it ever?” Ori whined, leaning back against the stone wall.
You spent the next hour listening for any tiny sound that would signify Smaug had awoken and was chasing Bilbo. Nothing yet. You decided that waiting was the worst part, especially when you had a faint idea of what would happen next.
“Something bad is going to happen, isn’t it?” Kili asked, his voice a mere whisper. “That’s what you’ve been so stressed about lately.”
“Everything with Smaug is…easy compared to what comes after.” You confessed. Until that moment, you thought you’d been hiding it well, but Kili saw right through the façade. “That’s what I’m worried about.”
“Mmm…” Kili nodded, taking your hand in his, admiring your fingers before bringing it to his lips. “I will not let anything happen to you. None of us will.”
You nodded, but you didn’t have the heart to tell him it was him you were worried about.
Soon enough, there was a loud rumbling from within the mountain. You all got to your feet and rushed inside, down the spiraling staircases to the massive treasure hoard of Thror. It was…even more massive than you could have possibly imagined. And at the center of it all, was Bilbo, scrambling to get away from the massive beast.
You gulped. There he was. Smaug the Terrible. Big, monstrous, and coming straight at all of you. Fire welled in the dragon’s throat and you all ducked behind a marble staircase.
“You dare challenge me, dwarves?! Over the inconsequential life of one little hobbit?!”
“You think yourself so terrible, Smaug?! You underestimate our strength!” Thorin bellowed. The group split up, distracting the dragon, going separate ways all with one goal: the forges.
Unsure of where you were going, you, Kili, and Fili followed quickly after Thorin, down, down, down the massive fortress into its depths. Erebor was impossibly large, and, seeing it for the first time, you doubted you’d ever learn your way around it.
Smaug’s fiery breath nearly scathed you a few times. Its heat was close and scorching, giving you an even better motivator to keep moving. Eventually, the group all made it down to the forges. You counted the heads as quickly as you could, and when you did, you sighed in relief. This didn’t last long, however, as Smaug quickly rose from the stairwell, peeking through the massive gate that barred him from entering the forge.
The dwarves took cover behind massive metal beams, as did you, however, Smaug didn’t breathe fire, as you’d expected him to. Instead, you heard him land on the other side of the gate, an intrigued growl forming in his throat. You heard a loud clang and then felt his sharp claws cut through your pants as he scratched you, reaching carefully between the large metal bars.
You let out a yelp and collapsed to the floor, using your arms to scurry back, out of his range. It seemed you were bleeding, but it didn’t look like it was too deep.
“You.” He hissed, his eye staring at you, helpless on the ground. “You do not belong here.”
“M-Me?” You asked, staring up at him. The dwarves moved uncertainly, some of their eyes on you, some of their eyes on the beast.
“Yes, you. Mortal girl with the ears of an elfling.” His eyes narrowed and then he snarled, “Book Keeper. You reek of the Mortal Realm.”
Your eyes widened and your heart began pounding even harder in your chest. “I—”
“It’s endearing, really. That you think your existence here matters.” He shook his head. “That you could save them from me.”
Your eyebrows furrowed. That was not the way the story went. It never had been. Although maybe Smaug’s dragon-sized ego had caused him to overlook that part.
“Leave her!” Kili shouted, rushing in front of you and leaving the safety of his post.
“Kili, don’t—!” But that didn’t stop him from pulling you off of the floor, supporting your weight with an arm around your waist, a weapon in his other hand, pointed at the dragon.
Kili’s expression darkened, fire in his eyes. “Harm her again and it’ll be the last thing you ever do. I swear it.”
Smaug laughed. “The dwarf cares for you? Despite the fact that you have no right to exist here? Hilarious. And pathetic.”
“She has every right!” Fili joined his brother and your heart raced even faster as every other dwarf and Bilbo stood in front of you, ready to defend you from the massive dragon beyond the gate.
“You know how this story ends, don’t you?” Smaug asked, his voice arrogant. He took a few heavy steps further. “You cannot win. There is no happily ever after. Not for you and certainly not for them.” You could see the fire welling in his chest, and before you could even comprehend what was happening, the fire exploded from his mouth.
It was too late. You nor the dwarves had time to take cover. It would all be for nothing. The journey, your friendship, all of your moments with them…burned to ash.
In that same moment, your hand shot forward, and as if by magic, the flames dispersed as though hitting an impenetrable bubble, a halo protecting you, Bilbo, and the dwarves.
A tear streaming down your cheek, you stood there, hand extended, protecting them with whatever magic this was, whatever power had been hidden inside you all along. Your gaze hardened and though you couldn’t see it, your eyes shined gold like the endless treasures inside the mountain. “I’m writing my own ending, slug.”
Smaug’s fire fizzled and he gasped as though it was being stolen from him, pulled straight from his mouth. He coughed. His chest lit orange, like he was preparing to breathe more fire, but the light inside of him flickered before going out completely. His eyes narrowed at you. “What have you done?!”
“Not sure. Want to find out what else I can do?”
Snorting angrily, Smaug turned around. You heard the breaking of stone and then nothing.
Your knees wobbled, a wave of exhaustion washing over you as you lowered your hand. The dwarves all murmured in amazement and confusion as the dragon fled. You collapsed, but Kili caught you on the way down, his strong arms softening the blow of your knees on the cold marble floors.
“How…how did you…?” Bilbo mumbled, confused.
“I don’t know.” You told him. “I…I don’t have any magic.”
“Well, that certainly looked like magic to me, lass.” Balin said, impressed with your work.
Dwalin smiled, proud. “I knew you had it in you.”
“Let’s make sure he’s left before getting too comfortable.” Thorin insisted.
“Good plan.” You told him, trying to stand, but finding your strength depleted.
Thorin shook his head. “Book Keeper, stay here. You’ve done enough for us for one night. Oin, gather supplies to treat her wound. Kili, you stay with her until she’s fit to move again.”
“I will.” Kili nodded, watching as the others left.
You exhaled a shaking breath, collapsing into his arms. Kili knelt there with you for a long moment, your breathing heavy, shoulders shaking. He held you, careful but firm, his touches deliberate and comforting.
After a while, you pulled away to look up at him, ash smeared on his face and pure starlight in his eyes.
“Kili…” Your eyes watered, voice wobbling. “You…”
“It’s alright.” He brushed the tear from your cheek. “We’re alright, look at me.”
You choked out a sob, staring at him for a long moment before finally, finally…
One of your hands rose to his cheek, tilting his face up to yours. You looked into his eyes for a moment and then leaned in, pressing your lips to his. He reciprocated immediately, like he’d been kissing you for centuries, his lips exploring yours, passionate and soft. Your heart pounded as your noses clashed, your hand wandering back into his hair and his strong arms tugging your body closer to his, chests flush with one another. The feeling of his scruff against your skin was everything you’d imagined it’d be that drunken night in the tavern.
After several minutes, you finally pulled apart, resting your forehead against his, your breathing heavy.
“It means ‘My Love.’” He told you, stopping to take a long, shaking breath. “Amrâlimê. It means ‘My Love.’ And I call you that because…you are my One. I’ve known since that night in the Shire when I turned the corner and saw you standing there.”
“Kili…” Your voice was soft. “The whole time?”
“I didn’t want to…scare you off.” He chuckled at the ridiculous notion. “I know humans don’t have Ones, even here. But that is no excuse. I should have told you so long ago. My brother has made that known at every opportunity.”
You slipped your bag off of your shoulder and onto the floor, reaching into it for a very special pouch. “I didn’t lose my ring.”
His eyes narrowed. “What do you mean?”
You tilted the pouch’s contents into your palm and held up the courting bead you had created from it instead. “I…”
“Is this a courting bead?” He asked, disbelief heavy in his tone and tears welling in his eyes. “You…you made this? You’d give up your ring…?”
“For you.” You set it in his palm and cupped his face in both of your hands. “I love you, Kili. I love you so much, and…if you’d let me, I’d like to braid your hair, court you the proper dwarf way.”
He let out a sob, throwing his arms around you and holding you tight. “I…I thought you’d never ask.” He pulled away to press another passionate kiss to your lips. “B-but my bead isn’t finished yet. I…I asked Bilbo to find an emerald for me, the finishing touch.” He touched his nose to yours, smiling softly. “They’ll match.”
“I can wait as long as you need me to.” You assured him, kissing him again, and then one more time for good measure. “I would wait a century for you, Kili.”
“I can’t believe this is happening…” He smiled into another kiss. “We must tell the others. Can you walk?”
“I think so.” You nodded, the two of you getting to your feet.
You were a little wobbly, but Kili took one of your arms around his shoulder, supporting you every step of the way. Sure, your leg hurt a bit, but you could hardly think about it after everything that had just transpired.
Eventually, you both came upon the other dwarves, who had started clearing out the commons. Some of them, Balin and Bilbo and Thorin, were out on a balcony, watching Smaug as he flew off towards Laketown. Oin had set up a makeshift infirmary in the corner of the room, and as soon as Fili saw you and his brother enter, he rushed over, taking your other arm and helping you to the cot.
“Does it hurt?” Kili asked as they set you down and Oin started examining the mark.
“A little.” You winced as the older dwarf poked at it.
“It’s not too deep and the bleeding has already stopped.” Oin noted. “It will probably hurt for a few days, but it should heal up just fine, lass.”
“Thank you, Oin.”
“I’ll apply a salve and get you wrapped up.”
Oin rummaged through his supplies while Bilbo rushed into the room, an excited expression on his face. “They shot Smaug down! The people of Laketown, they shot him down before he even reached the edge of town!”
The dwarves burst into joyful celebration, but you sat there in shock. Huh. Maybe warning Bard had some unforeseen consequences…
“Oh shit.” Your eyes widened. “He didn’t…burn the town down?” As Oin tended to your wound you reached for the book, desperately flipping to the end.
“He…he didn’t have any fire.” Bilbo said, his voice quiet.
“That…might be a problem.” You told him, taking your lip between your teeth. “Or not…? I really…wow, I didn’t see that coming.”
Before anyone could say anything else, Thorin and Balin returned to the fold, accompanied by none other than Gandalf the Gray. The relief was palpable as soon as you saw him. Good. At least now you’d have him to talk to.
When he spotted you amongst the dwarves, a mischievous twinkle gleamed in his wise old eyes. “Ah, the Book Keeper. Making a splash, I see.”
“Yeah, it seems like it.”
“There is much we must discuss.” Gandalf said. “Oin, are you done with her?”
“Aye.” Oin nodded. You stood and followed Gandalf further into the depths of Erebor, out of earshot of the other dwarves. As you were walking away, you spotted Kili in the corner of your eye as Bilbo handed him what appeared to be the aforementioned emerald.
“So, where do we even begin…?” Gandalf murmured, lighting his pipe as he settled into the chair at the end of the table that appeared to have been the grand dining room a long time ago. There was quite a bit of dust. “I suppose we’ll start with something light; How’s Kili?”
You laughed. “Kili is good. No poisoned arrow to the leg, no near-death in Laketown…and um, we’re actually…well, we’ll be courting soon.”
“Dwarvish courting rituals?” Gandalf raised his eyebrows. “I must say, I’m impressed. Show me the bead.”
You pulled it out of its pouch and handed it to the wizard, who smiled a knowing smile once he examined it.
“I thought that claddagh ring might come in handy, although I must admit, not for this exact purpose.” He noted, smug. “Congratulations! Well, onto the…other matters at hand…Laketown seems to be rather in-tact, does it not?”
“Yeah, that, um…just happened. Smaug got me in the leg, one thing came to another, and he breathed fire at us, but I…stopped it? I think. With a…well, with like a force-field. A bubble around me and the others.”
“Oh…very interesting indeed…” Gandalf thought on this for a moment, inhaling from his pipe before letting the smoke tumble from his lips. “That is something I did not foresee.”
“I think it…weakened Smaug. It was like I stole his fire.” Your voice came out soft and uncertain. “That’s probably why…”
“Very possible.” He nodded. “Well, I suspect that soon, the Master and the rest of the town will be here, demanding their pay.”
“You don’t think that’ll change?”
“I doubt it. And Thranduil and his forces are on their way as well. It seems the Battle of Five Armies is still coming.”
You were quiet for a long time. “Um…Gandalf…”
His voice softened when he saw the look on your face. “Yes, my dear, what’s wrong?”
“I can save him, right? That’s why I’m here? To save them?” You asked, your voice catching.
Gandalf reached across the table, letting his hand settle on top of yours. “I picked you for a reason, (Y/N). I would not have chosen you if I didn’t believe it could be done. And now that you are here…you are not alone. I think you know that.”
You nodded. You blinked and a tear slipped down your cheek.
“You know what they say, my dear, love is unpredictable. It seems you’ve recently learned just how powerful it can be.”
“Thank you.”
He gently wiped the tear from your cheek. “Don’t thank me yet. Celebrate with the dwarves. Celebrate with your beloved. You’ve earned it. I’ll be seeing you soon.”
***
Gandalf spoke with the rest of the company briefly before leaving, you assumed, to see where the elves were setting up camp, if they really were that far in their journey. You hoped you’d at least get a few days of peace before the war broke out. You needed it.
Bombur cooked up one hell of a dinner and Dori had gone digging through the wine cellars to find something extra special for the company to celebrate with. Oin had changed your bandages once, but when he did, he noticed that your wound had already mostly closed up. You were going to be just fine. Well, physically anyway.
You’d changed into the dress you’d gotten in Laketown, the green one embroidered with purple wildflowers, not unlike the ones Kili had given you.
“You look lovely.” Fili complimented. “Is that the one from the market?”
“It is.” You smiled and did a little spin. “Do you think he’ll like it?”
“Take a look for yourself.” Fili motioned tilted his head towards his brother on the other side of the room, staring at you with stars in his eyes. Fili’s hand touched your shoulder before he walked off with Bofur and Dwalin to get everything ready for the feast.
Kili walked to you, staring up at you in awe. He gently touched the fabric of your dress. “Is this new? I’ve never seen you wear this before.”
“I got it in Laketown.” You confirmed. “Do you like it?”
“Oh, Amrâlimê, I love it.” He brushed the loose hairs out of your face, and pulled yours down to his, kissing you gently. “Emerald green happens to be my favorite color.”
“It does?”
“Well, it’s my second favorite color.” He admitted, his voice soft. “My first favorite is the color of your eyes.”
Your heart welled with warmth and your lips crashed against his once more, his kiss stealing the air from your lungs until you were interrupted by the sound of footsteps coming down the hall. So, laughing, the two of you joined the others for the celebration.
You all settled in the dining hall Gandalf had taken you to. Some of the dwarves had cleaned up a bit, dusting areas where you’d be eating. Balin got some of the torches going to bring light to the place. It was so big. The ceilings were impossibly high, the walls carved into green marble. It was a place that had been expertly crafted by the most talented architects around, you were sure of it. There was care and skill put into every detail.
“Would you like some wine, Book Keeper?” Dori asked, a bottle in his hand.
“Just a little this time. I think we all remember what effect alcohol has on me.”
The others laughed softly. You were in the seat beside Kili’s and he kept resting his hand on your thigh beneath the table, the warmth of his hand causing similar warmth to pool in your stomach.
“You two look rather glowing this evening.” Fili smirked. “Any news you’d like to share with the rest of us?”
“Ah, yes.” Kili cleared his throat and the chattering dwarves all sat at attention. “Uncle, if I may…”
“Please do.” Thorin nodded his head, expectant.
“Our beautiful Book Keeper has presented me with a courting bead.” Kili said, his hand slipping into yours. “And I have obviously accepted her proposal because…she is my One. We’ll begin our courtship after tonight’s feast.”
The company burst into cheers and applause that echoed off of the walls of the dining hall.
Thorin reached to his nephew, putting a hand atop Kili’s. “Congratulations, nephew.” He looked to you. “And congratulations, (Y/N).”
“Thank you, your highness.” You nodded your head.
“No, no more titles.” Thorin shook his head. “You are one of us now. You can refer to me as Thorin, if you wish.”
You knew in your heart that he was right. This was your family. These were your people. And now, more than ever, you were honored to be surrounded by them.
“Tomorrow, we’ll have a meeting discussing further steps and the things to come, but tonight, we have much to celebrate.” Thorin announced.
The feast that followed was perhaps the best celebration you’d experienced with them thus far. Some of the dwarves got very intoxicated, including Ori, who was laying on the floor in front of the fireplace, mumbling something about cheese. Fili and Kili had a few drinks together, but Kili had stopped drinking before the others to prepare for what was to come.
Fili, Gloin, and Dori left for a while at some point and when they returned, Fili whispered something to his brother who laughed and thanked him. After a while, everything seemed to calm down. Some of the dwarves wandered the halls to find a place to sleep, and Kili took that as his opportunity to escort you to the bedrooms.
In a place the size of Erebor, there were countless bedrooms, but Kili led you down the halls to what you felt was a very sacred place, lit with torches. And along the floor, there was a trail of wildflower petals, not unlike the kind Kili had given you, leading into one of said bedrooms.
“These are the rooms set aside for the royal family.” Kili explained, kissing your hand. “The one at the end of the hall is for the king. The one next door is the one set aside for Fili because he is the heir, and this one has been prepared for us.” He pushed open the door, and led you inside, closing the door behind you.
The flower petals trailed to the edge of the king-sized bed, which had been dusted and dressed with fresh bedding. The entire room was clean. There was a pair of large closets carved into the wall, a large window with a bench seat beneath it, a large desk and a giant bookshelf. The torches were lit, casting the room in warm firelight, although you could imagine just how stunning it would be once the sun came up and started streaming through the windows.
On the desk, there was a vase filled of the wildflowers Kili had picked for you, their colors still as beautiful and vivid as when he’d first presented them to you.
“Do you like it?” He asked, searching your eyes.
“It’s perfect, Kili.” You reassured him, squeezing his hand. You reached into your bag and pulled out the pouch containing the courting bead. “How do we do this?”
He grinned, cheeky. “What, the other’s didn’t tell you the specifics?”
You smirked. “Let’s just say I’m a hands-on learner.”
Kili pulled you in for a kiss, his lips a little firmer now than they had been during your previous kisses, a hand wandering into your hair. While your lips were on his, he tugged you to the bed by your hips and the two of you sat on its edge side by side. He lingered for a long moment before pulling away to reach into his pocket.
Very carefully, he presented his courting bead. It was a little thinner than the one you’d made for him, a more intricate band with a swirling silver design, some leaves carved into the precious metal. In the center of it, was a beautiful glimmering emerald cut into an oval. You gasped when you saw it. Kili had obviously been working on this for quite some time.
You immediately teared up. “Oh my god, it’s beautiful.”
He grinned. “I’m glad you think so.” Kili rested his forehead against yours, his lips mere inches away. “I’m sorry it took me so long, Amrâlimê. I’m sorry all of this has taken so long. If I could do it all over again, I’d have told you the way I felt that first night in the Shire. I have wasted so much time unable to kiss you. And oh, how I have wanted to kiss you.”
You kissed him, your movements long and slow. You felt him smile against you before you mumbled, “That makes two of us.”
“Until recently, I didn’t know that the men of your kind were supposed to initiate courting—sorry, dating." He admitted. “Fili um…”
“I know. He told me.” You chuckled.
Kili laughed sheepishly. “Oh.”
“There’s no real hard and fast rule, but generally speaking, it usually is the men that make the first move.” You told him, a thumb rubbing his cheek. “I don’t mind waiting, though. I’m pretty patient. And the flowers you picked for me are very beautiful.”
“So it starts with flowers. What comes after?”
“It doesn’t always start with flowers, but they are definitely a good way to tell someone you’re interested. After that, they usually ask you on a date. They’ll take you somewhere, a restaurant or a theater or somewhere more creative than that. They might hold your hand or kiss you. If the date goes well, you usually plan another one.”
He smiled, his eyes exploring yours. “That sounds fun.”
“It is sometimes.”
“And then what?”
“And then, after a handful of dates, they ask you to be their partner, their boyfriend or girlfriend. And you keep going on dates and getting to know eachother. Sometimes you move in together, sometimes you wait. And after a long while, they propose.”
“Propose…?”
“Right. Um, they propose a marriage engagement. A betrothal, I guess you would call it.”
“Ah.” He smiled, nodding as he took in the information. “Well, I will need more details on how to properly do that when the time comes.” Kili took your hands. “But for now, I’m going to teach you how to do courtship braids.”
Kili fetched a brush from the desk and returned to you, gently brushing the tangles out of your hair. “Now, the courtship braids are typically done to mirror one another, so that when we’re standing side by side, they’ll be next to each other.” He told you, pressing a kiss to your cheek and then your neck.
You flushed at his warmth, at the softness of his lips against your tender skin. “That’s romantic.”
“It is.” He agreed. “Which side would you like yours on?”
“The right.”
Kili began to very expertly braid the hair on the right side of your head. It was something similar to the French braids you’d done as a girl, although it didn’t incorporate all of your hair. It sat in the middle of the hair on the right side of your head, some hair in front of and behind it. Once he reached the ends of your hair, he secured it with the courting bead he had spent so long crafting.
And then, you did the same to him, on the left side of his head. He talked you through the process with encouragement and soft laughter, and at the end, you decided it looked pretty good. Kili helped you secure it in a way that would ensure it wouldn’t come out. The bead looked good against his dark hair, contrasting well.
Once it was in place, Kili cupped your face in his warm, calloused hands, touching his nose to yours. He exhaled a long breath.
“I love you, (Y/N).” He said the words slowly, significantly. They sat heavy on his tongue. He gazed into your eyes. “I want to build a life with you and now that we’re here…it finally feels real.”
“I know what you mean,” you whispered. “I can’t imagine a life without you in it.”
You knew then that the two of you were sitting in the eye of the storm, that in a few days or maybe longer, there would be elves and men and orcs at the front gates of Erebor, ready for battle. You didn’t know what the future held, not for certain. But you knew as long as you lived, you would always love Kili, whether or not you got to spend that time by his side.
You had loved Kili since he was mere paper and ink to you, you loved him now that he was flesh and blood and warmth, and you would love him forever, even if he was just a distant memory.
And so, you kissed him with a little more passion that night, held him a little tighter in your arms, relished in the feeling of his skin against yours, his hair between your fingers, and his lips slotted to your own. You loved him like it was your last night together, and for all you knew, it was.
***
The next morning, sun streamed through the window, casting the room in color and light. By the time you opened your eyes, Kili was still asleep on the pillow beside you, deep snores rumbling from his lips and one of his thick arms around your waist. His courting bead glistened in his braid, the only one adorning his soft hair.
You admired him for a long, quiet moment. He looked so peaceful. Your handsome prince. You pondered it for a bit, what your wedding might look like. What your life together would look like after. The details were fuzzy and uncertain, but your heart ached to know, to get that chance when all the dust had settled.
His face did look rather human, you supposed, taking his face into consideration now that you finally had a good, long, intimate look at it. The others in the company, aside from maybe Thorin and Fili, all had a very different look about them, something more distinctly dwarvish that you couldn’t put a finger on. Perhaps it was their noses. But Kili…if he were a little taller, he’d fit seamlessly into your own realm, you were sure.
You laughed internally at the thought. You weren’t sure what Kili would think of your realm, in all honesty. It was quite different than the one you had spent the last several months in, that was for sure.
Kili stirred, blinking a few times before his eyes truly settled on you, bathed in sunlight on the pillow in front of him. He smiled.
“Good morning.” He whispered, his voice impossibly deep with sleep. He reached up to brush the stray hairs out of your face. “You know, I had quite the dream last night.”
“Whatever might it have been about?”
“It had something to do with…you and I…” He murmured, scooching closer, his arms pulling you so close to him that you now shared just one pillow, mere inches between your faces. His leg slotted between your legs and his lips did not hesitate to begin exploring your own.
You smiled against him, a hand wandering into his hair to keep his face close to yours while the other found itself curled against his hairy chest. He deepened the kiss, drawing a hum from the depths of your throat.
He stopped to look at you.
“You know, I think I had the same dream.” You told him, eyes scanning every detail of his face, committing it all to memory. You wanted to remember this, how you felt in this exact moment, the honeymoon-like bliss of this first morning.
“Really…” He murmured in mock shock. “How strange.”
“Very.” You giggled a bit before finally confessing, “Kili, is now a bad time to tell you I’ve had a crush on you since I was twelve?”
His face lit up, that youthful smile you’d fallen in love with quick to overtake his features. “I knew it!” He laughed triumphantly. “I knew there was something in your eyes that night. That’s why you recognized me before you recognized the others.”
You smiled, coy. “Perhaps.”
He stole another long kiss.
“Don’t let it go to your head.” You smirked.
He grinned, mischievous. “Pshh, me? Never. But I don’t think it’ll come as a shock to the others that I’ve been your favorite dwarf since the very beginning. You’re not very good at hiding it, you know.”
“Really. Good to know; I’ll have to make more of an effort, then.”
He touched the tip of his nose to yours. “Well…I wouldn’t worry about hiding it too much. I think they can handle the news. They’ll just have to accept the fact that I’ve won the race to your heart.”
“There wasn’t anyone else in the running. It’s only ever been you.”
Kili smirked, kissing you one last time before saying, “I know.”
The two of you got dressed for the day and walked down to breakfast together, hand in hand. Bilbo perked up at the sight of you, smiling warmly when he saw your matching braids tied with matching beads.
“Good morning, lovebirds.”
“Morning, Bilbo.”
“Sleep well?” The hobbit asked innocently, sipping a cup of tea.
Gloin chuckled and muttered, “I’m not sure they did much sleeping, lad,” which caused said hobbit to promptly choke on said tea.
You laughed and sat down in the spot you’d been sitting the night previous, beside Kili, who got you each a serving of food. By now, he knew all of your favorites by heart. He set the plate in front of you and punctuated it with a long kiss on your cheek. Now this you could get used to.
It was so nice to have everything out in the open, not that it had been that much of a secret before. Now there was just one last challenge to conquer, that of your lover’s impending doom.
The rest of the dwarves trickled in slowly, grabbing some breakfast before taking a seat at the long table. Thorin was the last of them and he looked absolutely exhausted. There were dark bags beneath his eyes, a slowness to his step. He sat at the end of the table all at once. It could have been the new environment causing this, you reasoned. An unfamiliar bed, an unfamiliar peace and quiet that he hadn’t been accustomed to on the road. There was, however, a little voice in the back of your head that warned of what would happen to Thorin because of all of the gold in that seemingly endless treasure room.
You’d forgotten about it until now, and you deeply hoped you were wrong.
Your concerns subsided a bit when he noticed the beads in yours and Kili’s hair and smiled, proud of his nephew. Thorin was still in there. He could be reasoned with, you were sure. Although, you weren’t sure how long that would last.
Once he got some food, he started the meeting.
“So, Book Keeper, Smaug is dead. What comes next?”
You were quiet for a moment, figuring how best to word it. “So…they call it the Battle of Five Armies.”
“Battle…?” some of the dwarves murmured.
“The five armies being the dwarves, the men of Laketown, the elves of Mirkwood, and two groups of orcs, or, in some interpretations, the orcs and their wargs. It’s…well, it’s not good. First, the men and the elves will come. The men will want compensation for slaying Smaug, and also the gold they were promised while we were in town. The elves come because…well, because Thranduil wants pretty elvish gems or something…”
Thorin nodded. “The white gems. I am familiar.”
“Right. And the orcs come because…they’re orcs. I don’t really know their motivation other than the fact that they crave violence. When the orcs arrive, the elves and men aid us in the battle, but there are…casualties.” You said the word carefully, trying to hide how much it hurt. You knew Kili noticed, though. Sometimes, you swore he felt your emotions.
“Are there more dwarves than just us, lass?” Dwalin spoke up, leaning against the table as he weight the information you were presenting.
“Yes. I believe you call for your cousin, Dain and his forces. They arrive and they do fight alongside everyone else.”
“I’ll send for him today, then.”
You nodded. “That would probably be a good idea, yeah. Um, Gandalf said he was going to check on the status of things, to see where the elves were, I think.”
Thorin was quiet for a moment before asking the one question you were fearing. “And what of the Arkenstone? Is it here?”
“It is here. Somewhere. I’m not sure exactly where though. The book tends to skim over details like that sometimes.” It wasn’t technically a lie. You didn’t know where it was, although you did have a pretty good estimate…
Thorin nodded, his face serious. He thought for a long moment. “We’ll need to get the forges going as soon as possible, ready armor and weapons for battle. The bedrooms and kitchens will need to be prepared. We are about to have several guests…”
The king beneath the mountain designated roles to the party to prepare the place for war. Balin stayed at the table to ask you further questions.
“So what are we to do when they arrive at the gates, lass?” He quieted his voice despite the fact that the king had gone down to the treasure room with his nephews to look for the Arkenstone. “Would Thorin not have honored his promise?”
“He, um…” You shook your head. “Things are going to get weird around here. He succumbs to dragon sickness; it clouds his judgement. He breaks his promise to the men and hesitates to join the fight at all, despite the fact that his people are out there fighting the attacking orcs. I’m hoping we can steer him otherwise this time around, but…it might be difficult to break through to him.”
“If anyone can, I’m sure it’s us.” Balin nodded. His face fell, though, before he asked the next question on his mind. “And these…casualties?”
You were quiet for a long, long moment. You opened your mouth to speak, but instead, you burst into tears.
“Oh, lass…” Balin stepped closer, putting an arm around you to comfort you.
You flipped to the page in the book and handed it to Balin, marking the second time ever someone other than you had gotten a glimpse inside of it, and at that same section, too. Balin read it silently and nodded, solemn.
“I feared as much.”
“It’s…that’s the reason I’m here at all.” You finally admitted, wiping the tears from your cheeks. Balin offered you a handkerchief. “When Gandalf came to me…that was my end of the deal, the promise that I could…change things. Save him. Save all of them.” You took a shaking breath. “It’s not written in that part, but…Thorin doesn’t make it either…”
“Mmm…” Balin hummed, his voice low. “Does anyone else know?”
“Bilbo does.” You confessed. “He, um…found me crying about it in Laketown the night before we left. But that’s it. Just you two. And Gandalf, obviously.”
“I wouldn’t tell the lads.” He advised, his voice trembling the smallest bit. “I think it would make them nervous. Could make it worse.”
“I wasn’t planning on it, but…Kili knows there’s something going on. I don’t know if I’ll be able to hide it from him.”
“He loves you.” Balin nodded. “And I know you love him, too. And I know how much it must have hurt you to carry it this long. But I will not let that happen to either of them and I know you will not either. We saw what happened with the dragon…maybe there’s a way to bring that power in you out again.”
You nodded, considering it. “That’s actually a really good idea.”
Balin rested his hand atop yours. “We’ll figure it out, lass.”
***
Later that day, the dwarves congregated on the training grounds to brush up on battle skills. Kili had spent most of the afternoon readying the archery range while the others sharpened weapons and reinforced shields. Thorin was the only one not present. He was still searching the treasure room for that damn Arkenstone.
Balin had informed the others of the plan, to awaken that magic inside of you again, so they were all brainstorming methods of doing so.
“Maybe it has to do with the fire.” Nori suggested. “The fire of the dragon oncoming.”
“Perhaps…” Balin nodded.
“Worth a try.” You agreed.
“Here goes.” Gloin shrugged, preparing a flaming torch.
Kili’s eyes widened, stepping between you and the flame. “Now wait just a second, are we sure this is the best way to figure it out?”
“The lad is right.” Oin nodded. “There was real danger involved with the dragon. Perhaps it’s the intensity of the battle that sets her off.”
“No!” Kili protested. “Does anyone have any ideas that do not involve hurting my beloved?”
The others laughed, thinking for a moment.
Dwalin had a mischievous look on his face. “I have a theory.” Then, out of nowhere, he threw a dagger at Kili.
Without even thinking, your hand shot out in front of you and before the dagger made contact with Kili, it bounced away, defying the laws of physics as though it had hit a bubble, clattering to the ground moments later.
Everyone stood there in shock, staring at you and Kili and your outstretched hand.
“Oh.” You said softly, lowering your arm and staring at your palm.
“The lass wasn’t the only one in danger that day, remember.” Dwalin crossed his arms, smirking proudly. “She’s a protector, whether she’s realized it or not.”
“She’s been protecting us with her knowledge all this time.” Balin agreed with his brother and took your hand. “And now, you’ve found a magic of your own.”
“And I intend to use it.” You told the rest of them. “I came all this way. We all did. I’m…I’m not going to let anything happen to any of you. This battle is the reason I’m here; the rest of it was just the icing on the cake.”
“We trust you.” Fili said, meeting your eyes. “We all do.”
Your heart ached. It was still scary, thinking of the oncoming battle and everything it could cost if you didn’t succeed. But this power inside of you, this love you held for the company, you knew it wouldn’t let you down. You knew you wouldn’t let them down.
You couldn’t.
***
That night, you didn’t get very much sleep. It started with a nightmare. Your subconscious had chosen this exact moment to remind you that you had watched the extended edition of the Battle of Five Armies once. Seeing Kili lifeless and pale, laying on that stone slab, lit by gentle flickering lights…You’d all but forgotten what their funeral had looked like. You wish you’d never remembered.
You woke with a start, sitting straight up and breathing heavy, trying to clear the image from your mind. There would be no funeral. It was fine. Everything was fine. Except, that didn’t seem to stop the tears from flowing.
Kili was still sleeping. You didn’t want to wake him; he’d need his rest for the days to come. So, you slipped out of the bed as quietly as you could and walked through the halls to the kitchens. Dori had been kind enough to organize all of the tea and polish some of the teapots. You put on a kettle and waited for the water to boil.
You heard footsteps coming down the hall and wiped at your tears, partially expecting it to be Kili. You were surprised, however, when it was Bofur that came through the doorway.
“I knew I heard someone in here. Thought you might be my brother.” He chuckled. “Can’t sleep?”
“Nightmare.” You told him, shrugging when the kettle started to scream. You pulled it off of the hot burner and switched off the heat, pouring yourself a cup of hot water and beginning to steep some Chamomile in it.
“Ah…Sorry to hear that, lass.” He nodded. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“I kind of…can’t. It’s about the days to come…” You sighed. “Specifically about the worst possible outcome.”
“I see.” Bofur hummed. “Well, if it is what I think it is…I don’t foresee it happening. You’ve kept us out of trouble. This too will pass.”
You nodded, sniffling. “I’m just scared. I know I can do it, especially after training today, but…if I fail…”
“Right.” He nodded. “I had nightmares before we left home, you know. Us dwarves…we all pretend to be so fearless, but I was very afraid we wouldn’t make it here. That it would all be for nothing. I know you fear…losing him. But I think he fears losing you too, lass. Sometimes, fear is all that’s keeping us alive.”
You were quiet for a long moment, letting it sink in. Bofur was right. “You’re wiser than the others give you credit for, you know.”
He laughed. “Yeah, well…you pick up some things in your travels.”
You sipped your warm tea.
“The courting braid suits you.” He noted. “Do you mind if I take a closer look at the bead Kili made?”
“I don’t mind.” You lifted the braid from your shoulder and presented it to him so he could see.
Bofur’s eyes scanned the bead and he smiled. “I saw him working on it on the boat to Laketown. I don’t think he knew then that you had plans of making one at all.” He chuckled. “I could tell he was getting desperate to tell you how he felt.”
“Oh yeah. He had Fili ask me for human courting rituals.”
“Now that, I did not know.” Bofur laughed. “Hence the wildflowers, I presume.”
“Yeah, exactly.” You giggled, taking another sip of tea.
Another set of footsteps trekked down the hallway, this time coming from the direction of the royal chambers. Sure enough, it was Kili. He looked relieved when he found you.
“There you are, Amrâlimê.” He walked into the kitchen. “Are you alright? Why did you leave?”
“I had a nightmare.” You confessed. “I didn’t want to wake you.”
“Have you been crying?” He noticed your tearstained cheeks as he got closer, his warm fingers slotting into their place along your jaw.
“A bit.” You nodded.
“Come back to bed.” He whispered, kissing your nose. His other hand slipped into yours and squeezed.
“Okay.” A tear slipped down your cheek and he was quick to wipe it away, leading you back down the halls to your shared room after the two of you bid a final goodnight to Bofur.
Kili closed the door behind you and walked to the bed, pulling the covers open for you. You settled back onto the comfortable mattress, laying on your side.
“Now, what is it that has you so worked up, my love?” He whispered, an arm settling around your waist. “You’ve been crying a lot lately, haven’t you?”
You responded with more tears, crawling into his arms and burying your face in his shoulder. He held you tight, doing his best to comfort you with his touch.
“Oh, hey, hey, it’s alright. We’re alright.” He said, his voice soft and sincere. “You don’t have to tell me if it hurts too much. Is it nightmares about spiders?”
“No…” You shook your head, your voice muffled by the fabric of his sleep shirt.
“Goblins? Smaug?”
“No.”
“Mmm, so something very scary, then?”
You took a shaking breath. “The scariest thing I can imagine.”
“Hmmm…” He hummed thoughtfully, his hand gently stroking your hair. “Do you want to know what the scariest moment of this trip has been for me?”
“What?”
“When that goblin king hoisted you into the air by the ends of your hair, dangling you above the rest of us, threatening to torture you right in front of me mere hours after I’d finally gotten to hold you in my arms for the first time.” He shook his head. “And the second was when that accursed dragon hurt you and started threatening you. My worst nightmare…is losing you.”
You took a shaking breath, pulling away so you could look into his eyes, bathed in the moonlight streaming through the window.
“I put the pieces together a while ago.” His voice shook. “I know…I’m not meant to survive the battle. In the story you read growing up, anyways.”
A tear rolled from your eye and your breath caught in your throat. “Kili…”
“I thought it might be the dragon that got me. I didn’t know there would be…more danger after.” His thumb expertly swiped your tear away. “And I don’t blame you for not telling me. But I’m not scared. Not of that.”
“Why?”
“It’s like you told Smaug. My ending is getting a rewrite, and I trust you with the pen.” He touched his nose to yours. “The way I see it, I know for certain I’m going to spend the rest of my life with you, whether I have two more days or two more centuries.”
You kissed him, your lips salty with tears, and his moving gently against yours. “I love you.” You sobbed.
“I know you do.” He kissed you again before rolling over and pulling you on top of him. His lips gently pecked the top of your head and he held you tight as you cried against him. “I love you too.”
***
The next day was the day Dain’s forces arrived. Thorin and the others escorted the new dwarves into Erebor and they began preparing for war, forging weapons, adjusting armor, training battle skills. Sometime in the early afternoon, Thranduil, Bard, and their armies arrived at the front gate.
You sat nearby, hidden within the walls, listening as Thorin and the dwarves heatedly debated with them. Thorin refused to give up his treasures, and you weren’t sure if it was because of the dragon sickness or if he knew they’d need their help when the orcs arrived the following day.
“Dwarves, I know you are hiding your precious little Book Keeper within those walls.” Thranduil’s arrogant voice echoed from the back of his reindeer to your very ears.
Your eyes went wide, heart racing as you listened.
“Bring her to me for a…discussion, or we begin our attack immediately.”
“Thranduil, this is madness.” You heard Bard rebuttle.
“Madness or not, I would like a glimpse into the future as well. I believe it’s only fair.”
“You’ll not have a single word with her!” Thorin shouted.
“Thorin…” Balin reasoned. “Let’s think about this.”
“What is there to think about?” Kili joined the conversation. “She is my beloved, not a bargaining piece.”
You stood up and walked to the dwarves. “I’ll go.”
Kili turned around and shook his head. “No. Amrâlimê, who knows what he wants with you? There has to be another way.”
“Maybe I can reason with them, get them all on the same page about the battle.” You tilted your head and reached into your bag, pulling out the book and handing it to Kili. His eyes widened. He’d never touched it before, let alone been entrusted with its wellbeing. “Look after this until I get back, okay?”
Kili took the book and nodded, his eyes serious. You leaned forward and pressed a long kiss to his lips before walking through the front gates. And while you were distracting the rest of the party, Bilbo was able to slip away unnoticed as well.
Thranduil looked over you with curious eyes. They were almost unnaturally blue, celestial. His hair was long, platinum blond like his son’s had been that brief moment you saw him. “Come, child.” He held out his hand and you took it, allowing him to pull you onto the back of his reindeer and take you to the ruins of Dale, where the elves and the men were camped together.
When you got to the tent where the leaders had been planning, you were pretty surprised to find Gandalf already there.
“Book Keeper, I apologize for the elf king’s…brashness. He did not believe me that you existed.” Gandalf apologized.
“It’s okay.” You assured him.
“So, tell me Book Keeper. How is it you are able to tell the future of our world? And how were you able to sneak through my palace unnoticed?”
“I have a book about the dwarves’ adventure from my realm. Where I’m from, all of this is a work of fiction. That’s how I know what’s going to happen.” You told him. “And I didn’t sneak through unnoticed. I was actually spotted by several of your guards. They all thought I was an elf, including your son.”
Thranduil stared at you with those weird, big blue eyes. He looked kinda pissed, but he was graceful about it.
“She speaks the truth.” Bard said, his eyes grateful. “Without her warning, Smaug would have burned Laketown to splinters. I was able to shoot him down before he even reached the edge of town because she told me exactly where and how and with what to shoot him. It worked.”
“I’m glad I could help.” You told him.
“She means well, Thranduil.”
“I will be the judge of that.” The elven king tilted his head, his voice cool and emotionless. “Tell me, Book Keeper, do you know why I am here?”
“You want the white gems in Erebor.”
“They belong to me.”
“That seems to be subjective.” You replied.
“How dare you, you insolent girl—”
“Thranduil, please.” Gandalf calmed him.
“What of the men, then?” Thranduil challenged, crossing his arms.
“The dwarves promised them gold in exchange for the weapons we were gifted in Laketown.” You replied. “And Thorin is being…stubborn on the matter, admittedly.”
“I have tried to argue that your tip about Smaug and the value of his hide outweighs the dwarves’ debt.” Bard informed you. “My people are being stubborn about it as well.”
“No, they’re right. Thorin should pay you for everything you all did for us. I can try to convince him, but I’m not sure he’ll budge.” You shared a look with Gandalf that told the wizard everything he needed to know.
“There is a larger problem at stake here, is there not, Book Keeper?” Gandalf pushed. “Larger than sums of gold or indebted jewels.”
“There are orcs coming. They’ll be here tomorrow. If we don’t all band together to fight them, to finish them off, they will not stop until all of Middle Earth is conquered, all of your people killed.” You told them.
“Why should I believe a word you say?” Thranduil’s eyebrows furrowed and his eyes settled in your hair. “How do I know this is not a distraction to pull my focus from what matters to me? Is that not a dwarven courting bead braided into your hair? Your interests are vested.”
“I do have a vested interest in the dwarves; of course I do. They’re my best friends, my family. One of them is the love of my life. But I have a vested interest in the rest of Middle Earth, too. I grew up on the stories of this place, stories about you, about your son, Legolas and the amazing things he’ll accomplish someday. But if the world is overrun by orcs, I don’t think any of that will happen. Sure, in the short term, the dwarves and the men would get wiped out and you’d be able to hide in Mirkwood, but you wouldn’t be able to hide forever. They’ll get you eventually and it will have all been for nothing, your eternal life wasted when you could have changed the outcome.”
Thranduil was quiet for a long moment, processing your monologue. “And say I do help you…Will you guarantee I am given what I am owed?”
“You have my word.”
Bilbo appeared in the entrance of the tent, tucking his ring into his pocket. “I’ve brought some…insurance that Thorin will pay after the Battle.”
“Bilbo?” Gandalf raised his eyebrows.
“Hello, Gandalf.” Bilbo reached into his coat and presented the Arkenstone, at which Bard’s eyes widened. “Thorin values this gem more than anything. Surely if you present it to him, he will give you what he’s promised in return.”
“How is this yours to give?” Bard murmured.
Bilbo shrugged. “I took it as my 14th share of the treasure in the mountain. With the guidance of a certain Book Keeper, of course.”
You looked from Thranduil to Bard. “Please.”
“If you can provide the women and children of Laketown safety during the battle, I swear every man will fight to the last breath.” Bard offered.
“Done.” You agreed.
Thranduil stared at the Arkenstone for a long, long while before meeting your eyes again. “Since it is orcs and not just dwarves we will be fighting…I’ll call for reinforcements.”
You exhaled in relief. “Thank you.”
“We have been collecting dragon hide from Smaug.” Bard added. “It seems only fitting to offer the dwarves some for armor.”
“Thank you, Bard. Also…do me a favor and pretend Bilbo didn’t give you the Arkenstone. Claim you…found it inside of Smaug’s remains…or something.” You asked. “It’ll save us all some trouble with the king under the mountain.”
“Done.” Thranduil nodded. “Now, my son will escort you back to Erebor, if you so please.”
Your eyes widened. “Um, sure. Thank you, your highness.”
Bilbo stuck around to talk to Gandalf for a moment while you walked outside the tent to find Legolas standing there with an amused grin.
“I saved you that dance.” He teased.
“Yeah, sorry about that. I’ve actually…got a prince of my own waiting for me in Erebor.”
“Well, he is very lucky, then.” Legolas took your arm. He led you to his horse and helped you up onto the back of it. “I could not help but overhear that you’ve heard stories of me, where you’re from?”
“Yeah. About sixty years from now, you kind of save the world. It’s pretty awesome.”
“Mmm.” Legolas nodded, impressed. “Good to know. And I suppose you’ll be around to guide us then as well?”
“I hope so.”
The ride back to Erebor was rather short. Legolas dropped you off at the bridge, where Kili was pacing outside. He lit up when he saw you’d returned, rushing to you immediately and handing the book back to you.
“How did it go?”
“Really well, actually.” You told him, pressing your lips to his for a moment before asking, “Where’s your uncle?”
“He’s…in the treasure room.” Balin answered. “I’ll go fetch him.”
Kili walked with you back inside, his hand tight in yours. The dwarves all assembled in the throne room. Thorin, who was now wearing a large gold and silver crown on his head, sat on the throne carved from stone. He really did look the part, now.
“What did they say?” Thorin asked. “Negotiating for treasure, no doubt.”
“Partially. I told them of the orcs that are coming and…they’ve all agreed to help fight. Thranduil, in exchange for the white gems, and Bard in exchange for the gold they were promised in Laketown and the safety of their women and children during the battle.” You explained, heart racing as you watched the expression on Thorin’s face for any sign of anger. “Bard is also sending us pieces of Smaug’s hide to make armor from. They’ve been…dismantling the dragon.”
“Mmm…” Thorin hummed and then went quiet for an uncomfortable amount of time. “Book Keeper, I must admit, I am quite impressed.” He nodded, a proud look on his face. “You will make a fine princess one day.”
“Thank you.” You exhaled in relief. “The orcs will be here tomorrow, rather early in the day. We don’t have a lot of time.”
“Then we will spend all night preparing.” Thorin decided. “Dwarves, to your stations. We must prepare for war.”
***
Not long after your negotiation with the other camps, the women and children of Laketown came to the gates of Erebor. At Thorin’s request, you helped them get situated and comfortable. Being a human woman yourself, the king under the mountain knew you would be able to offer them some peace of mind.
You and Dori passed out blankets and pillows and food, making sure everyone got settled in the room Thorin had designated for them. It was tucked pretty far into the mountain, so he knew they’d be safe.
You spotted Sigrid and Tilda in there with their brother Bain, discussing something. Sigrid looked up and spotted you, smiling.
“Hey, glad you guys made it. Everything going okay?”
“We’re doing well,” Sigrid smiled. “Da said you warned him about the dragon. Thank you.”
“Yeah, of course. I…your whole town was so kind to us, I couldn’t imagine letting it happen without giving you some kind of warning.” You told her, handing the girls some blankets.
“What’s that bead in your hair?” Tilda asked, pointing to the silver band holding your braid together. “It’s new, right?”
“It’s a courting bead, from Kili.” You told her, smiling.
Sigrid gasped, excited. “Does that mean that you’re finally together?”
“At long last.” You confirmed, giggling. “Yeah, he’s…he’s amazing.”
“Is that him?” Tilda pointed to the doorway and sure enough, Kili was standing there, scanning the crowd for you.
You thought it was kind of funny. Among the dwarves, you’d always stood out like a sore thumb. You were the tallest of the company, just barely taller that Dwalin, and therefore, you’d been easy to spot among them, but now, surrounded by your own kind, he had some trouble seeing you.
“Over here.” You waved, drawing his attention.
He entered the room, walking to you and taking your hand. After a moment, he recognized Bard’s kids and nodded in greeting. “If you don’t mind too much, I need to borrow our Book Keeper, get her fitted for some armor.”
“Of course.” Sigrid smiled. “Congratulations, by the way.”
Kili straightened up a bit when she said it, proud. “Thank you.”
As the two of you walked to the forges, where the others were hard at work, he pulled your hand to his lips for a kiss.
He grinned mischievously and glanced over at you. “You told them?”
“Of course I did. I’m very proud to be yours, my prince.” You said it kind of teasingly. With the other dwarves and elves and men in Erebor for the battle, the formalities were a bit more important now than they had been during the rest of the journey, bit it still felt weird addressing him with his title.
His cheeks reddened. “You don’t have to call me that, you know.”
You winked. “I know.”
“Uncle wants me to wear a crown.” He sounded annoyed talking about it. “I don’t know, it just doesn’t feel like the time for that.”
“Things will calm down after tomorrow. Reach some kind of normalcy.”
“I hope you’re right.”
You shrugged. “I usually am. It’s part of my job.”
He chuckled and shook his head at you. The two of you walked into the armory, where Dwalin was anxiously waiting for you, large pieces of Smaug’s hide waiting on a table in front of him.
“Woah…” You murmured, looking at it. “That is…wild.”
“It’s quite tough. We tested some weapons against it and most of the blades can’t pierce it.” Dwalin agreed. “Our prince here has requested that your armor be made from it.”
“Oh.” You looked over at Kili. “He has, has he?”
He took your hand with both of his, pulling it to his chest and looking up at you with those warm brown eyes. “I want you to be protected, Amrâlimê. You insist on fighting alongside us tomorrow and I know I cannot change your opinion on it, but I need to know you’ll be safe.”
“I want you to be safe, too.”
“We’re reinforcing the company’s armor as well, at Thorin’s request.” Bofur informed you from the next stall over, holding a weapon so hot it was glowing bright red.
“Good.” That did make you feel quite a bit better.
“I need your measurements, lassie. Thought you might be more comfortable if your beloved did it.” He handed Kili a tape measure and a pad of paper and winked at the dwarf prince, who chuckled and walked with you to a more private corner.
It was sort of intimate in a weird kind of way, Kili taking measurements for your breastplate, the sleeves, the length of your shoulders. And when you were done, he relayed the information to Dwalin to make sure your armor would fit correctly.
Afterwards, the two of you left the armory.
“What does Thorin have you doing for the rest of the day?” Kili asked.
“I’m on Laketown duty with Dori. Making sure all the people are comfortable, bringing them food…”
“Mmm…” Kili nodded. “Do you have anything…pressing to be doing right now?”
“Not particularly.” You answered.
“Good.” Kili grabbed your wrist and pulled you into a small storage room in the hallway. He pushed you against the wall and crushed his lips to yours, passion in every movement. You always forgot how strong he was until moments like this.
You let his lips explore your own for a good long while, limbs mingling with each other’s bodies, your fingers wandering into his soft black hair. You knew you wouldn’t have many of these moments left. In fact, this might be your last one, so you made the most of it, kissing him in a way he wouldn’t soon forget. And once you each came down from the high of your love for one another, he spent a long, quiet moment admiring your features.
“I’ll never tire of that.” He whispered, gazing up at you. “Although, I hope that the moments we steal after the battle will last longer than this.”
You leaned down and kissed him, your lips soft and slow. He melted against you, his eyes fluttering shut as he stood on his toes to be able to reach them. You wrapped your arms around him, pulling him to you. It wasn’t often the two of you embraced while standing, and it was made clear why almost immediately, as Kili’s face only reached your chest, but he didn’t seem to care, his arms tight around your waist.
You rested your head against his, exhaling a long breath and just letting him hold you for a moment. “It’s going to be a long, long night, my love…” You murmured, pressing a kiss to his forehead.
He chuckled darkly. “It already is.”
“What does Thorin have you doing?” You asked.
“Weapon maintenance, mostly.” He shrugged. “He has Fili doing a lot more.” He looked up at you, fingers gently touching your courtship braid. “I sharpened your swords.”
Your heart just about melted. “Thank you.”
“I want to make you some new ones…when things settle, of course. Some daggers, too, if you want. I’m admittedly not a very good weaponsmith, but Dwalin’s offered to teach me. It’s a dwarf thing…crafting gifts for your One, especially while courting.”
You smiled. “That’s really sweet.”
“You think so?”
“I can’t wait to learn more. All of this is still new to me.”
“Of course it is…we dwarves love our secrets.” He took your hand and pressed a kiss to each of your fingers, one by one. “And I cannot wait to tell you each and every single one of them.”
You nuzzled your nose against his. “That makes two of us.”
***
Once the sun set, the mothers started getting their children ready for bed, but many of them had trouble getting their kids to sleep. Gandalf wandered into the room, smoking his pipe. With him, he had a small red book tucked under his arm.
“Book Keeper,” he smiled, that familiar glimmer in his eye. “I’ve brought you another. Thought a story might help get the young ones to bed.”
“Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs,” you read from the cover, chuckling. “Seems appropriate.”
Gandalf nodded. “Quite.”
You rounded up all the kids for a storytime and they sat expectantly in front of you, waiting for you to begin. “Now, this is a story from my realm. There are dwarves in it, sure, but they’re not a lot like the dwarves here in Middle Earth. Their names are a little silly; there’s one named Sneezy and another named Sleepy.” Some of the kids giggled at that.
“Is there a princess?” Asked a little voice.
“Of course there is. Her name is Snow White and she is the fairest in all the land.”
“How about a handsome prince? Is there one of those?” Fili’s voice asked from the back of the room, a smirk on his face.
“There does so happen to be a handsome prince, yeah.”
“Is he a dwarf?” Kili asked, taking a seat beside his brother.
“Unlike my own, no, he’s not, unfortunately.” You smirked at him. “Come here, you wanna help me read this?”
“I suppose I could.” Kili stumbled forward, getting a little push from his brother. “But only if I get to be Sneezy.”
You smiled as he sat beside you, looking over the cover of the little red book in your hand. As the two of you read the story to the children, alternating lines, he couldn’t help but do something he’d thought was impossible: somehow, he managed to fall even more in love with you.
***
After the kids were all asleep, Thorin called the company together one last time. You all stood in a circle, Gandalf finally with you all once again.
“Tomorrow is a fateful day for us all.” Thorin looked to each member of the group. He was wearing the crown of the king and looked extremely regal. He had been born for this, raised for it. You could only hope that you’d be able to protect the line of Durin when the battle finally arrived. Maybe it was the waiting that was the worst part.
You let out a sigh, closing your eyes. Kili took your hand and gave it a squeeze.
“Burglar, Book Keeper, thank you for everything you have done for us.” Thorin pressed his lips together. “This may be our last night as a company. I do not know what tomorrow holds for us, and for the sake of our confidence…” he made eye contact with you and you could tell that some part of him must have known, “I do not wish to have any more glimpses into our future.”
“Understood.” You nodded.
His closing words sent a chill down your spine. “Eat well. Get as much sleep as you can. Tomorrow, we defend our home.”
You settled between Kili and Fili, managing to get some food down despite the sinking feeling in your stomach. It was rather quiet, given the volume you’d come to expect from the group assembled around you. One last night with them…one last night together before your new life in a still-strange land would get turned upside down for better or worse.
Some of the dwarves played instruments they had, turning to music even in their darkest moments. Bifur was sitting in the corner of the room, carving something out of wood with his knife. You leaned on Kili, your head resting against his. You felt the warmth of his arm around your waist.
Unsure of what else to do, really, you pulled out the book one last time and skimmed the words about the battle. But that was the problem: there wasn’t much. Bilbo passed out in the version in your hands, was unconscious for the majority of the action and only came to when Fili and Kili were already dead and Thorin was dying from his wounds. Not particularly helpful.
You shook your head and shut the book. You gazed into the flames for a very long time, considering chucking it in there and watching it get devoured, but you decided against it. For one, it was your only copy, and for two, you weren’t sure exactly what was tying you to Middle Earth and you didn’t want to risk getting yeeted away early. So, instead, you got up off of the floor and walked across the room, handing it to Gandalf.
“You may yet need this.” He said, his eyes twinkling with something unrecognizable.
“There’s not a lot about the battle in it…”
He looked rather surprised. “There’s not?”
You paused for a long moment. “Gandalf…do you not know what’s in the book?”
“I’ll admit, I don’t know the specifics, dear.” He chuckled and blew his pipe. “I know the big things, sure, but not every detail.”
You stared at him for another long moment. “Okay…interesting. Anyway…will you hold onto it for me? Just in case?”
“Ah. For safekeeping.” He nodded and took the book from you. “I will see that it is returned to you promptly after the battle.”
“Thank you.” You turned and walked back to where you had been sitting before, where Kili was anxiously waiting for you. Before you could settle into your original spot, he pulled you onto his lap and pressed a long kiss to your cheek. You closed your eyes and basked in his warmth and the warmth of the fire.
You looked to each member of the company in attendance, the once-timid Bilbo, your future brother-in-law, the two who had taught you how to show Kili just how much he meant to you, the healer who had treated your dragon-inflicted wound, the quiet scribe who had been writing down every detail of the adventure. It went on and on. Each dwarf had put their own unique fingerprint on your heart.
Bifur walked up to you and muttered something in Khuzdul, handing you something small. When you examined it further, you found it to be a little wooden bird, the thing he had been carving the whole night.
“He said it’s for you, so you’ll remember him when you go back home.” Kili translated for you, his voice gentle and soft and a little sad.
“Oh, Bifur, it’s beautiful.” You choked back a sob and stood, hugging the gruff dwarf, who instantly returned the gesture. “I could never forget you.” You wiped your tears away. “I could never forget any of you. I’ll…I’ll treasure all of you for the rest of my life.”
You knew in your heart that was the truth. No matter what would unfold the next day, no matter where you wound up when it was all over, the company would live in your heart forever, you were sure. In fact, you didn’t think you could forget them if you wanted to. And you could only hope that when the battle came, you’d give them a reason to remember you, too.
***
When morning came, everyone was bustling through the lonely mountain, preparing for war. There was a nervous energy floating through the air. It was getting to you too. You couldn’t remember the last time your heart had been at its normal pace, but it had been racing all day.
Watching the dwarves armor up was surreal and haunting, especially watching Fili and Kili help each other into their armor. Dwalin carried your armor to you, glimmering and red, like the autumn leaves beyond the hills. You faltered, seeing it for the first time. Smaug had been evil, sure, but you couldn’t doubt the beauty in his scales. You could only hope they’d protect you now, that they’d protect all of you.
“Kili, get your beloved ready. The elf scouts have spotted something headed this way.” Dwalin called before leaving you to attend to other duties.
Kili immediately turned his attention to you, rushing over to help you into your armor. He guided your arms into the sleeves and fastened the straps in the back, his fingers moving quickly and expertly, securing it in place. It was pretty heavy, but you felt well-protected in it.
“How does that feel?” he asked, searching your face. “Too tight?”
“It feels good. Thank you.”
“Of course.” He nodded, his hand lingering in yours for a moment.
Tears welled in your eyes and his expression melted. He pulled your face down to his, resting his forehead against yours for a long moment. “Amrâlimê, I will be with you the entire time. Fili and I will not leave your side, I swear it.” He promised, pressing a kiss to your lips. “I will not let anything happen to you. None of us will.”
“I’m not worried about me.” Your voice broke and a tear slipped down your cheek.
His eyes met yours, his expression bittersweet. This was love, he felt it in his bones. Here, in the face of your first real battle, you were worried about him.
“Dwarves! Assume your stations!” Dain and his men walked briskly through the mountain, getting everyone ready.
You swallowed and closed your eyes, wiping at your tears and pulling away from Kili. Fili handed you your weapons, freshly sharpened and ready for battle, even if you weren’t.
“Nothing to worry about, Book Keeper,” the older prince reassured you, a hand on your shoulder and confidence in his voice. “We’ve got this.”
“I hope you’re right.”
You followed the rest of the company out of the mountain and onto the battlefield where, just as you’d predicted, the Orcs tunneled through the hills opposite you all, storming out in a mighty horde. Most were on foot, but some were on the backs of their wargs.
And thus, the battle began.
Because of your warnings in advance, there were forces ready in all the places you knew the Orcs were start, and more forces ready in the places the orcs would eventually reach. The elven archers took out a good number of them as they advanced, but more Orcs poured out of the tunnels and into the open field.
You followed Kili and Fili’s lead. They barely let any Orcs get to you, but the ones that did, you were quick to dispatch with your sword. It was intense, like everything was moving at two-times speed. You kept your eyes on the boys at all times, watching for anything that could possibly harm them. In the corner of your eye, you caught Thorin a few times and made sure he wasn’t getting hurt either.
You’d lost sight of Bilbo a long time ago, and the rest of the company was pretty well dispersed throughout the crowd.
“You…” A deep, gravelly voice hit your ears and your heart about leaped out of your chest.
Before you knew it, a large hand swung at you, taking you off of your feet. You skidded through the dirt, grimacing.
“(Y/N)!” Kili yelped, rushing towards you, but quickly pulled back by another large Orc.
“The little Book Keeper.” He laughed an awful laugh, towering over you in all of his horrific glory. “You do not belong here, human.”
“I keep hearing that, yeah.” You seethed, getting to your feet despite the blossoming bruises you could feel beneath your armor. “You must be Bolg.”
“In the flesh.”
“You didn’t hear about what happened to Smaug when he said that to me?” You asked, fire burning in your chest, tingling in your fingertips. “I’m wearing what’s left of him.”
“Confident for an Other Realmer. Such a shame to see it all go to waste for a miserable company of dwarves.” He chuckled. “Come with me instead. I could use your insight.”
“And just why the fuck would I do that?”
A blade pressed against your neck from behind, dangerously close to piercing the skin. You felt a strong, tree-like arm wrap around you and your feet left the ground. “In exchange for your life, perhaps?”
“NO!” Kili cried, killing three Orcs on his way to where you were standing, his brother beside him and his uncle not far behind.
Bolg paused, looking to where Kili stood, amused at the emotion on the dwarves’ face. He laughed cruelly. “This is more than concern for their prophet. This one loves you.”
Kili ran at Bolg, slicing through the armor on his thigh and piercing the skin. Bolg grabbed him by the neck and raised him up into the air to get a better look at him.
“And the prince, no less.” He plucked up Fili with his other hand, dangling both of them in the air in front of you, tiny and helpless, struggling against Bolg’s monstrous grip as he began slowly choking the life out of them. “The end of the line of Durin in my very hands.” He grinned, displaying his sharp teeth. “Tell me, girl, who will die first, the heir or the spare?”
“Neither.” You hissed, a hot tear winding down your face and that familiar, blistering power blooming inside you once more.
Thorin slayed the Orc holding you, and as soon as your feet touched the ground again, you thrust both of your hands forward at Bolg. The emotions poured out of your chest at the sight of Kili and Fili dying, their faces filled with pain, groans strained as he squeezed their vocal cords. The image of their funeral flashed in your mind one last time and something clicked inside you, unleashing hellfire upon Bolg and the rest of his wretched army.
For a moment, nothing happened, but then, a crater eroded in his chest, a blinding, golden light tearing him apart from the inside out. And in the same moment, the rest of the Orc army erupted into flame, the same fire you’d stolen from the dragon whose hide you were wearing as a chest plate.
“YOU WRETCHED LITTLE WITCHHHHH!” He hissed, dropping the brothers as he disintegrated before your very eyes, reduced to ash, his voice echoing into nothing, the only remnant that he had ever existed.
The battlefield went silent, the three remaining armies looking around after their opponents had literally disappeared while they watched. After the silence came their victorious cries. The battle was over, hardly any casualties had taken place aside from the attacking orcs.
You rushed to Kili, frantically checking him and his brother for injuries. “Kili! Oh my god. Are you okay?”
“I’m fine, Amrâlimê.” He assured you, his breathing heavy now that he was free. His voice was a little hoarse, but that seemed to be his only injury.
“Fili?”
The older prince smiled. “I’m okay, too.”
You exhaled a huge sigh of relief and looked back at Thorin, who nodded at you, uninjured. It felt like a million pounds lifted from your shoulders. They were alive. The battle was over and they were alive.
Another sigh pulled itself from your lungs and something shifted within you. You were dizzy, utterly exhausted. You swayed on your feet a bit, eyelashes fluttering.
“My love?” Kili whispered, concerned, his hand touching your arm.
“I’m okay,” you insisted before falling into his waiting arms, your legs giving out beneath you.
The dwarf prince lowered you to the ground gently, finding a soft patch of grass before he searched you for injuries. He didn’t see any blood, nowhere had your armor been pierced, and aside from a small cut on your cheek, you appeared to be fine. He pulled you into his lap, his arms cradling you.
Your breathing slowed, but your heart continued to race and tears were quick to begin trailing down your cheeks.
“What’s wrong? What’s going on?” Bilbo rushed over to you, appearing from thin air. The rest of the company slowly assembled around you. “Did she…do that?”
“I don’t know.” You told him. “I feel…I don’t think I’m injured, I just feel…floaty.”
“Get the girl some water.” Oin insisted.
“I can’t find a wound on her.” Kili told the medic, his voice getting thick with tears and desperation. “Please, tell me what’s wrong with her.”
“You will find no injury, Kili.” Gandalf walked through the crowd of humans and elves and dwarves. “She is quite alright. This is…” He shook his head. “Well, this is the end of the spell I used to bring her here. The magic has all been spent.”
“Oh.” You murmured. It made sense when he said it. You could feel it, the fact that you were slipping.
“Well do something! There must be some spell to keep her here! Please!” Kili’s voice broke and his eyes left Gandalf’s meeting your own as he cradled you closer. “Please, I can’t lose her.”
“It’s okay, Kili.” You told him, your hand reaching up to brush his cheek, for once wiping his tears away. “I…I served my purpose. You’re alive. Fili and Thorin are alive. The line of Durin is safe. You’re safe. I…I wrote my own ending.”
You heard some sniffles among the group, namely from Balin and Bofur, but there were tears glimmering in the eyes of Dori and Ori and Bombur as well.
“You can’t leave us yet, lass.” Bofur said, taking off his hat and staring down at you. “Before the feast? Before the celebration?”
You laughed softly, looking up at the hobbit and each dwarf standing there. Your very best friends. Your family. Your heart already ached when you imagined just how much you’d miss them in your world without magic. “It’s bad timing, isn’t it? I…I’m not ready yet. I’m not ready to go…”
“Stay.” Kili whispered, pulling your face to his, his lips tasting of his salty tears as he kissed you. “Please, stay with me. Please.”
Part of you expected his kiss to be magical, to halt the sinking, floating feeling inside your chest. You expected True Love’s Kiss to save you at the end of your fairytale, but it couldn’t. It seemed nothing could.
“I’m sorry.” You sobbed, trying to sit up so you could embrace him better. “I’m so sorry, Kili.”
“It’s not your fault.” Kili shook his head, pulling you into a more upright position and pressing his forehead to yours.
You felt a tingling numbness in your fingers, and when you looked down at your hand, you found that they were disappearing, breaking into glowing silvery light and floating up into the cloudy sky. “No.”
You looked up at the company, at Thorin, the new king under the mountain, at Bilbo and Gandalf, and each of the others. “S-stay out of trouble, you guys. All of you. I love you so much and…I’m going to miss you for…well, for the rest of my life.”
“Book Keeper…” Thorin spoke, his voice going soft as he knelt down beside you and his nephew on the ground. “(Y/N)…If there ever is a day you come back, you will always have a place in our halls. I meant it when I said you would make a great princess and I mean it when I say it would have been an honor to have you as my niece.”
More tears slipped down your cheeks and you took the hand he offered you. “And it would have been an honor to have you as my uncle.”
Fili approached next, a weepy look on his face as he pulled you into a hug, the disappearance now working its way up to your elbow making it a bit more difficult. “Thank you. For saving my life.”
“You knew—”
“I figured it out.” He shrugged, lowering you back into his brother’s arms. “I’ll never forget everything you’ve done for me. For us. Take care of yourself. Find a new adventure.”
“You guys were the greatest adventure I’m ever going to get.” You looked up at the hobbit. “It’s going to be an amazing book, Bilbo. I should know, it’s the one I’ve been reading the whole time.”
Bilbo gasped, his eyes widening. “My book?”
“Why else would it be called The Hobbit where I’m from?” You chuckled. “Although, I bet your version will turn out bit different than the one I’m familiar with.”
“I would never leave out the best character.” Bilbo wiped a tear from his cheek. “Although, I think I might write a happier ending for her, if it’s all the same to you.”
“I can’t wait to read it.” You looked up at Kili, who hadn’t stopped crying since he’d first started. “Hey, hey, it’s okay.”
“No it’s not.” He shook his head. “I…I was supposed to be the one that didn’t make it. You…”
“I’m going to be okay.” You promised him, your nose resting against his.
“That makes one of us.” He murmured. “You are my One, my other half. I can’t imagine going on without you here with me. I don’t want to.”
“Someday, I promise you, we’ll see each other again. This isn’t the end for us.” You whispered, kissing him fiercely and he reciprocated immediately, his lips passionate against yours. You linked the pinkie that hadn’t disappeared yet with his own.
“Y-you said once…if something was meant for you to have, it would find you again.” He tightened his finger around yours until it started to disappear, too. “I swear to you, I will find you again.”
You nodded, whispering the words you’d been reciting in your mind for so long, just in case this was the outcome of your adventure after all. “I love you, Amrâlimê.”
You continued to vanish as the company watched. The last thing you felt of Middle Earth was a pair of lips against your own and the warmth of your lover’s arms around you.
And then everything went white.
***
When you opened your eyes, you were standing on your front porch in your pajama pants again. The sun shone bright in your eyes, birds chirping up in the trees, and the slightest breeze blowing through your hair.
You blinked a few times, looking around you to ground yourself. You were back home, except…it didn’t really feel like home anymore. You weren’t sure it ever would again.
Blinking away tears, you turned around and walked inside, half-expecting to wind up right back in Bilbo’s hobbit hole, but no, it was just your living room waiting on the other side of the threshold. You walked out the front door again, desperate, but had no luck. The only thing beyond that was your front porch again.
“No…” You mumbled, leaning against the wall before sliding down it, hiding behind your knees. “No, no, no…please…please! Take me back! Gandalf, please…”
You expected something magical to happen, for someone to appear from thin air and comfort you, but for the first time in about six months, you were left completely alone. It was the same day you’d left, only minutes after you’d first gone, and yet every moment you’d spent away was real and tangible. You remembered everything. Every hour of every day, the vast majority of them spent at Kili’s side.
The tears wouldn’t stop flowing, and you feared they never would, not so long as you were locked out of Middle Earth.
As you sat there, questioning everything your life had become, you couldn’t help but question if it had really even happened at all. Maybe it had just been an intense hallucination. After all, nothing around you had changed. But then, you caught a glimpse of something glimmering in your hair.
Kili’s courting bead, the very one he had spent so long making for you, was still carefully braided into your hair.
And your heart broke all over again. It was real and so was he. And so was the little wooden bird tucked in your pocket, Bifur’s parting gift. You sat there with both of them for a long time, staring at them, feeling them in your hands and forcing yourself to believe that you could go back. That one of these times you closed your eyes, you would be in Erebor again.
It took about an hour for you to get back on your feet and walk inside, only to collapse onto the couch, something inside of you deeply broken in a way you weren’t sure could ever be fixed.
The days passed slowly at first, each one a new burden, heavy and unstable. The hours seemed to crawl by. You had constant headaches from crying so much and you had trouble sleeping. When you did manage to get some rest, you had dreams of the company, of hiking with the dwarves, chatting with Bilbo, kissing Kili one last time. And then you’d wake up and relive the heartbreak all over again.
After a few weeks, it seemed to get a little easier. None of your friends knew why you were so heartbroken and you didn’t know how to begin to explain it to them, so you didn’t, and they never asked.
You got back to writing and, Gandalf had been right, your adventure had sparked something. You knew exactly what the story needed: a dwarf prince.
You’d finished the book in record time, poured all your energy into it. You’d hired an editor to clean it up for you, got the interior formatted, and commissioned a cover from an artist online. And then, a few weeks after that, it was in your hands and available online. It helped fill the hole in your heart the tiniest bit.
After about a month, you went with your friends to a comic con. You knew there’d be Lord of the Rings stuff there, and you knew you wouldn’t really be able to avoid it. You didn’t expect, however, for one of the first tables in the Artist Alley to have portraits of Kili, Fili, and Thorin right at the front of their display.
“You’re really in a Lord of the Rings mood lately, huh?” Your friend Conner asked when he caught your eyes lingering on them.
You shrugged, unable to explain to them exactly what had sparked it. “The Hobbit, but yeah, I have. Couldn’t tell you why…”
Obviously, you bought all three prints, and obviously you bought a poster of Erebor a few stalls later and obviously you cried in the car on the way home and put them up on your bedroom walls as soon as you arrived. Maybe it would hurt a little to see Kili’s face every day, but you’d been sad every day since then anyway, at least now you’d be able to see him.
Some sense of normalcy had returned to your life, sure. You were able to make it through a few days at a time without bursting into tears, but you knew, no matter how much time passed, not a single one would without you thinking of him in some way, shape, or form.
He, like the rest of the party, had left a handprint on your heart, a tattoo in your mind that would never fade, whether or not you wanted it to.
***Six Months Later***
It was now, finally, your twenty-fourth birthday. Snow was falling outside and your friends were beginning to arrive for a birthday party. It helped to have people there. You didn’t want to just be celebrating alone with only your thoughts for company. So, instead, you purchased plenty of pizza, plenty of adult beverages and fun alternatives for your non-drinking friends, which of course included black cherry cream soda. You had a banging birthday playlist going, some fun movies playing in the other room, and lots of snacks in the kitchen.
You were wearing a short-ish silver dress and had done your makeup for once. The bead Kili had given you so long ago was on a chain around your neck. It was hard trying to do the courtship braids without help, so you’d given up on them, instead choosing to wear it as a necklace. It didn’t mean anything to the people around you anyway. They didn’t know the power it held.
“Hey birthday girl!” One of your college friends, Chelsea, said, coming in through the door with a veggie tray and a gift bag. “Brought you some accessories.”
“Oh did you, now?”
Inside the bag, there was a sash and a crown that both said Birthday Princess on them. You chuckled, slipping the sash over your head and perching the crown in your hair. Ironic, you thought. Well, at least now you looked the part.
“Is this mead? Why do you have mead?” asked Ethan, who was standing in the doorway to the kitchen, laughing and reading the label on the bottle. “Where did you even get this?”
“One of the party stores had it.” You shrugged. “It’s like wine but sweeter.”
“Huh.” He poured himself a glass and you sipped the same drink from the solo cup in your hand. It was blueberry flavored and very good. Perhaps not as good as the kind the elves in Rivendell had served, but good nonetheless.
More friends kept arriving. You all chatted in the living room, beneath strobing LED lights, vibing to the music on your party playlist.
“What’s on your necklace?” Your friend Cianna asked, taking note of the bead around your neck.
“Oh, a friend gave it to me a while back. It’s an emerald.”
“It’s pretty.”
You nodded and touched it gently. “Thanks.”
Eventually, once everyone you’d invited was accounted for and you’d all had your share of pizza, your friend Natalie prepared the birthday cake, poking a bunch of candles into its surface and lighting them after. And yet, just before they could sing and before you could even dare to make a wish, there was a knock on the door.
Phil walked to the door, a party had on his head, and pulled it open, staring for a long moment before saying. “Uhhhhh, (Y/N), did you hire a bunch of cosplayers?”
“No, why…?” You blew out the candles without a thought and stood up from the table, cautiously walking towards the door, followed by the rest of your group.
“Um, hello, we’re looking for (Y/N) (L/N)…is she here?”
Your heart raced. You’d recognize that voice anywhere.
“Bilbo???” You peered out the door, and sure enough, a hobbit and crowd of dwarves stood there, all clamoring to see into the house. Ori was looking through the window and waved excitedly when you spotted him. Except…he was taller than you remembered. They all seemed to be, in fact.
“Bilbo Baggins?” Chelsea murmured in awe. “THE Bilbo Baggins???”
Phil stepped aside, still looking for the words to say, but none came. He’d been expecting another pizza guy or something, not…this.
“What are you guys…How did you…?” You were flabbergast. You had to be hallucinating. It simply was not possible. You blinked a few times and looked at your friends, who were all, seemingly, seeing what you were. “C-come on in.”
Bilbo walked in, taking off his scarf. There was snow caught in his hair and his cheeks were rosy from the cold. You wondered how long they’d been out there, or, rather, how far they’d traveled to get to your front door.
Pushing past the others, Kili was the next to enter the house, rushing straight up to you and collecting you in his arms, his lips capturing your own. You melted at his touch, falling back into all of the emotions you’d been refraining from feeling for the past several months. His kiss drew a hum from your throat, his arm wrapping tight around your waist.
When he finally pulled away, his hand wandered up to your face, brushing the stray hairs out of your eyes. He took you in for all that you were in this realm and though you looked a bit different from the way you’d appeared in Middle Earth, it was indeed the same Book Keeper behind those eyes. He’d know his One anywhere, even in a realm beyond his own.
“Happy birthday, Amrâlimê. You look beautiful.” His finger touched the tip of your ear, which was no longer pointed, and was instead, the smaller, rounded human ear you’d grown up with. He laughed softly, amused. “Your ears are so small.”
“Kili, I…” You giggled in disbelief, looking up at him for the first time ever. “How are you here?”
“Gandalf dropped us off down the street.” Fili explained, kicking off his snow-covered boots and setting his swords on the floor. “Said he’ll be back with his present later.”
“He also said the rules of your realm may affect us the way our realm affected you.” Thorin explained, much taller than you’d seen him last. “Which seems to be the case, Book Keeper.”
“I…see that.” Thorin was even taller than Kili was, as opposed to his previous height of just past your shoulder. He looked even more regal this way, you decided.
“I’m sorry, what is going on?” Cianna asked, looking from one dwarf to the next.
“Did the lass not tell you about her big adventure?” Bofur teased, carrying a small bag with him. “You forgot your camera in Middle Earth.”
“Right.” You chuckled, taking the bag he handed you. “Forgot about that.”
“And your photos. I’ve organized them for you.” Dori handed them to you in a stack.
The rest of the dwarves filed into the house as your friends looked on in wonder and confusion, waiting for some kind of explanation.
“So uh…to make a long story short, about six months ago, Gandalf came by and swept me off on an adventure. And I kind of, uh…stole Smaug’s fire and used it to wipe out the orcs in the Battle of Five Armies. And fell in love with Kili. And then when I got back, it was like no time had passed at all, Narnia style.”
“That’s the abridged version.” Bilbo said, grinning.
“You know…that kind of explains a lot.” Conner said, thinking back on all the merch you’d bought at comic con. This was, perhaps, why you had cried when you found action figures of Kili and Fili in one of the bins full of toys at said comic con.
“You still have it.” Kili whispered, a finger carefully touching the bead hanging around your neck. “I-I thought…”
“I forgot how to do the braid.” You confessed. “I didn’t want it to fall out.”
He kissed you again, softer this time. “Well, it’s a good thing I’m here, then.”
Natalie pointed to the cake, the candles of which you’d just blown out. “Um, we have birthday cake. There’s ice cream, too.”
“Well why didn’t you say so?” Bofur laughed, walking towards the cake.
“What’s ice cream?” Ori asked, following him.
Balin walked up to you and took your hand as he passed. “Happy Birthday, lass. Good to see you.”
“Thank you, Balin.” You laughed. “You have no idea how good it is to see you guys.”
“Where’s the ale, lassie?” Dwalin draped a heavy arm around your shoulders. He was impossibly tall at human height.
“Have you ever had a margarita?” You asked, mischievous.
“Can’t say I have.”
“Come on.” You took Kili’s hand and led him, Dwalin, and Fili to the kitchen, where you and Cianna started serving up drinks.
Kili stopped at the counter, where he noticed the bottles of black cherry cream soda. He smiled softly and grabbed two, one for himself and one for you. When you abandoned the bar and walked back out to the living room with Kili, the dwarves were mingling with your friends, getting acquainted with one another.
You spotted your friend Taylor across the room teaching Bofur and Bifur how to play ping pong. Ori was in the other room watching whatever movie was on the TV. You were pretty sure it was Tangled. Gloin was scolding Nori for attempting to pocket something while Dori showed Phil and Conner the stack of photos from your Polaroid, telling stories of your adventure. Thorin was standing in the corner with Dwalin and Balin, sipping from a red solo cup, a sight you never saw you’d see. Meanwhile, Chelsea was chatting with Bilbo, asking him everything under the sun about the Shire.
Fili sat on the armchair next to the couch, his feet resting on the ottoman in front of it. “Nice place, Book Keeper.”
“You think so?”
“It’s cozy.” Kili agreed, removing your birthday princess crown for a moment before detangling your hair with the comb he always seemed to have tucked in his pocket. He set to work, putting the courting braid back in your hair, where it was meant to be.
You undid the clasp holding your necklace together and slipped the bead from the chain, handing it to him carefully so he could fasten it to the end of the braid once again. Once it was done, he carefully set the plastic crown back on top of your head.
He leaned in and kissed your cheek and then your lips, lingering against them for a long moment.
“I missed you.” You told him, touching your nose to his. “I was starting to think…I might not ever see you again.”
“How long has it been for you?” Fili asked.
“About six months. It’s been…really hard.” You shook your head. “I was starting to think the whole thing had been in my head…”
Kili frowned. “It’s…only been a few weeks in Erebor. The victory celebrations have barely dwindled.”
It felt like he’d stolen the breath from your lungs. For you, half a year had passed and for them, it hadn’t even been a month? The time travel stuff would never make sense to you, not entirely.
“Wow, that’s…” You shook your head. “Wow.”
Kili took both of your hands, serious all of a sudden. “I cannot imagine what that must have been like for you. Every day without you felt like an eternity. But I intend to make up for every moment.”
“Good.” You kissed him again, interrupted by a tap on your shoulder. You turned to find Natalie leaning over the back of the couch, her eyes locked on Thorin across the room. “Oh hey, what’s up?”
“That’s Thorin, right? Over there in the fur.”
“Thorin Oakenshield, in the flesh. He’s king under the mountain now. And he did not die in the Battle of Five Armies, so he’s got that going for him.” You assured her, twisting the cap off of your cream soda. You couldn’t help but smirk a little. You knew the look on her face and…you couldn’t say you blamed her.
“Uh-huh. Cool. And he’s…single, right?”
Fili choked on his drink and Kili let out a hearty laugh, thoroughly amused.
“Yeah, he is.”
Natalie downed the rest of her drink and adjusted her hair. “Alright good. I’m going in.”
You saluted her as she walked away. “Godspeed.”
“Uncle is that well-known here?” Fili asked, watching her go.
“Only to the nerds, but…we’re all nerds here.” You chuckled. “You three are…very popular among The Hobbit fans, especially the women.”
A smile snuck across Fili’s face. “I am too?”
“Yes, you are, Fili.”
There was a final knock at the door and you stood, walking to answer it. You were unsurprised to find Gandalf there, a proud look on his wise features.
“Quite the party here, Book Keeper.” He said, stepping inside, a book tucked under his arm. “I apologize for my tardiness. I had a meeting with a lion run a bit longer than expected.”
You stared at him for a long time before blurting, “Are you…talking about Aslan?”
That mischievous gleam appeared in his eyes once more. “Oh yes, Aslan and I are old friends. I needed his help putting the finishing touches on your gift.” He handed the book to you. “Happy birthday, dear.”
“Thank you.” The book in your hands was your own, the copy of the Hobbit you’d left in Middle Earth.
He winked. “Check the back cover.”
You took his advice and opened to the back of the book, where a necklace was tucked. It was silver and circular, several symbols along the edge of it and three emeralds embedded in its surface in a triangle. It buzzed with an unfamiliar power. “Woah…”
“This, dear Book Keeper, is a Charm of Return. I needed special permission to acquire it, but it will allow you to travel to either realm as you please. I’m sorry it took me so long to get it to you, but it took quite some time to convince the Council to grant my request.”
You hugged him tightly, your heart racing. “I don’t know how to thank you. This is…”
“It is I that owes you, dear, not the other way around. You have done immeasurable good for Middle Earth, and…come sixty years from now, I may need your expertise once more.” He looked around the room. “These friends of yours wouldn’t happen to be in need of an adventure, would they? I’m sure there are a handful of hobbits, an elf prince, a dwarf, and a few men that could use some guidance and I doubt you’d be able to be in all of those places at once…”
You laughed. “I think a lot of them would be very interested in that offer.”
“I will keep them in mind.” He tipped his hat. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, it seems your friend is in need of some help at the ping pong table. Two against one is hardly fair, especially where Bifur is concerned.”
Gandalf walked away and Kili stood at your side again. When you felt his presence, you looked down out of habit, but he guided your chin up instead, laughing. It was, decidedly, odd being taller than you. He didn’t necessarily mind, but he was pretty sure he preferred your height difference the other way around.
“What did he give you?”
“My book. And an enchanted necklace.” You told him, your arms looping around his neck, resting on his shoulders. “Our relationship is no longer long-distance.”
He tugged you closed to him, a strong arm around your waist as he dipped you back, exploring your lips for a long moment before pulling you upright again. “Good, because I much prefer having you close to me, Amrâlimê.”
You reached up to touch his face, your thumb grazing his stubble. Honestly, you were still trying to convince yourself that he was there, that he was real and not merely a dream, as he had been for the past six months. But no matter how many times you blinked, he was still there, his leather and campfire and pine scent just as strong as you remembered it to be, his warmth vivid and real. “Me too.”
“You keep looking at me like you’re afraid I’ll disappear.” He whispered, his voice a bit sad, his eyes searching your own for some hint of what you were feeling.
You teared up a bit. “I kind of am.”
“Oh ghivashel…” He pulled you to his chest, one of his hands cradling your head, gently petting your hair in an attempt to reassure you that this was real, that he wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon. He pressed a long kiss to the crown of your head. “I swore to you once that I’d find you again. Now that I’ve found you…I swear to you, I’m never going to lose you again.”
“Promise?” You asked, your voice wobbly.
He pulled away and offered you his pinkie, a tearful smile on that handsome face of his. You linked your pinkie with his, locking the promise.
Ethan peeked out of the other room. “Hey, (Y/N), can you hook up the Switch? I have to kick…” He looked behind him and asked. “Sorry, what’s your name?”
“I’m Ori.”
“I have to kick Ori’s butt at Just Dance.”
You laughed. “Oh absolutely.”
You helped connect your Switch to the TV, and as you did so, you couldn’t help but notice Thorin and Natalie stepping up to the ping pong table opposite Taylor and Bofur. Yeah, something about that felt right, too.
“Now, what is this Switch of yours?” Fili asked, looking on with curiosity as you switched the cords around before, finally, the menu popped onto the TV screen. The dwarves in the room made noises of awe.
“Remember how I told you about video games? This is that.”
You took a seat on the couch beside Kili and handed one of the controllers to Ethan, who showed Ori, Dori, and Nori how to play while the rest of the dwarves gathered around, interested to see how it worked.
You draped an arm around Kili’s shoulders and rested your legs atop his. Kili’s hand settled on your thigh and he stared at you, obsessed with the proximity after weeks of being apart. He thought you looked so beautiful in your glittering silver dress, your birthday princess crown and sash.
“What?” You asked, catching him staring at you.
He kissed your cheek, his arm wrapping around your waist. “It just…doesn’t feel real. Being here. I’ll admit, I never thought I’d get to come to your realm.”
“What do you think?”
“It’s very different than I’m accustomed to, but I think it definitely explains a lot about you. I like it, of course, but I’m not sure I could ever adjust to living here, not fully.”
“It’d be quite the learning curve.” You agreed. “That’s how I felt with Middle Earth, in the beginning. It felt…unreal. Every morning I expected to wake up back in my bed, like it had all been some fantastical dream, and…once I came back here, I kept expecting to wake up there instead.”
“You belong to both.” He tucked a piece of hair behind your ear, still half-expecting it to come to a point.
You nodded. “I belong to both.” Your hand wandered to the enchanted necklace around your neck. “And now I can.”
After a few rounds of Just Dance, one of your friends put in MarioKart instead, attempting to explain the game to Fili, who showed an interest in the racing game. Seeing the opportunity to step away for a moment, Kili looked at you and asked, “Can you show me your room?”
“Yeah, of course.” You stood up and took his hand, leading him through the living room, down the hall, and into your room.
He looked around, curious. His eyes lingered on every poster adorning your walls for a moment before stopping on the prints you’d gotten at comic con. All in a row, you had portraits of himself, his brother, and his uncle, and above them, there was a poster of Erebor, bathed in mist.
“Where did you get these?” He asked, staring at them.
“At a convention I went to this year.” You shrugged. “Reminded me of home. I left all my pictures there, so things like this are the only way I can really see it.”
“Home…” He repeated the word, nodding. “It’s been hard sleeping without you at my side. Our bed feels empty without you.”
Your heart leapt when he said it. Our bed. You took a step closer to him, stepping into his warmth. His hand rose to your cheek, pulling you in for a long, slow kiss. He had to crane his neck down in order to reach your lips, which caused him to chuckle.
“What?” You asked, amused.
“Is this what it’s like when you try to kiss me?” He asked, looking down at you from his elevated human height. You figured he was probably about six feet tall like this. Thorin and Dwalin were even taller yet, wherever they were in your house with your friends.
“Yeah, pretty much.” You stood on your toes and kissed him again. “I can’t say I mind, though.”
“I suppose I never asked how you felt about it. About the distance between us.” He sat on the bed, pulling you towards him so you were standing between his legs in a way that more accurately mimicked your usual height difference. “You don’t care? Even the human men in my world are usually taller than their beloveds…”
“I couldn’t care less.” You poked his nose with the tip of your finger. “You’re a dwarf, Kili. Your height is part of who you are, and…I love every piece of you. I don’t care how tall you are compared to me, all I care about is you.”
You settled on his leg, pulling his arms around you and pressing another passionate kiss to his lips. He kissed you hungrily, like he had been the one waiting six months to do so opposed to the other way around. When you separated, he rested his forehead against yours and took a long breath.
“Would you like your birthday present now?”
“You got me a present?” You asked.
“Of course I did, ghivashel.” He nuzzled his nose against yours and reached into his pocket, pulling out a small wooden box, which had been painted forest green.
He handed it to you, his arms wrapping tightly around your waist as you opened it, only to find a claddagh ring, very similar to the one that had been turned into the bead braided into his hair. Instead of hands on either side of the emerald, however, there were tiny silver leaves, like the ones he’d worked into your courting bead. It truly was gorgeous. You could tell he’d made it himself, which only made you love it more.
With careful hands, he slid the ring onto your right ring finger so the heart was upright, signifying that you were in a relationship. He pressed a long kiss to your cheek. “I’ve been wanting to do that since you told me what your ring meant that night in the goblin cave.” He admitted, his voice soft and deep. “I’d just stare at your ring and think about how badly I wanted to flip it over, to call you mine. And someday…I want to be the one who gets to move it to your other hand.”
“I want that too.” You assured him, whispering against his lips.
“I didn’t know Gandalf was going to bring us here when I started working on it. I just…needed something to distract me from the hole in my heart.” He kissed your forehead and then your cheek and then your lips. “They’re calling you the Emerald Princess of Erebor back home.”
“Are they?” You asked, amused. “I’ll admit, it has a ring to it.”
“Among your other titles, of course. Book Keeper, Fire Stealer, Realm Traveler, Orc Burner…” He searched your face before adding, “You’re a hero, you know. To all of us. When it was looking like you might not be back…Uncle was in the process of commissioning a statue of you, especially once he found out it wasn’t just my life you’d saved.”
“So he knows, then.”
“We all do.” Bilbo was standing in the doorway of your room. He took a look around. “It’s nice in here. Sorry to interrupt, ah, the others are beginning to tell stories to your friends and we thought you might like to be present for that. Also, there’s only one slice of cake left and Bofur said you two haven’t had any yet.”
“Thank you, Bilbo.” You smiled and stood up.
“Is that the Shire?” Bilbo pointed to a poster hanging on your wall. His eyes narrowed at it, examining it further. “Is that my house?”
“Yeah, it is.”
He pointed to a print of Frodo and Sam and Merry and Pippin. “Who are they?”
“Well, that one is your nephew. Technically, I guess, he’s your cousin, but you two call each other nephew and uncle. He’s…he’s going to do great things someday.”
“Huh.” Bilbo nodded, leading you and Kili back down the hall to where the others were all congregating in the living room.
Some had gotten refills of some their drinks, and some of the dwarves were trying the human snacks they’d found in your kitchen. Dori was trying to convince Ori to try a margarita, but he insisted that he didn’t like green food and that also applied to green beverages.
Bofur handed you a paper plate, upon which was the last slice of birthday cake, and two plastic forks. He winked. “Thought you might share with your beloved.”
“Thank you, Bofur.” You and Kili settled into the spot that was left for you in the makeshift circle that had formed in the living room.
Gandalf was perched on a chair in the corner of the room, on the edge of the group, as he often was. Fili had a bit of frosting caught in his beard as he ate the second to last slice of cake.
“Is it good?” You asked, laughing softly.
“It’s fantastic, Book Keeper.”
“I’m glad.” You handed Kili the other plastic fork.
Kili broke off a piece of cake and held his fork in front of your mouth. You ate from it playfully. It was nice, getting to be domestic with him, given that so much of your time together thus far had been on the road, weaving in and out of danger.
“So…” Chelsea pressed, your human friends all waiting anxiously to hear about your time in Middle Earth. “What was it…like?”
“Anything specific or just in general?” You asked for clarification.
“In general, I guess.”
“It was…everything I could have imagined.” You shrugged. “Like, the movies don’t even begin to do it justice, Middle Earth. We started in the Shire, at Bilbo’s, travelled to Rivendell, through Mirkwood, through Laketown, to Erebor. It took a long time, not just the nine hours that are on screen. Like, the book is just the cliffnotes, you know? Being there, doing it…It was spectacular. Scary sometimes, sure, but I think it was worth it.”
“What’s your scar from?” Taylor pointed to the long, jagged mark running up your arm. “Was it actually from dog-sitting or…?”
“A goblin got me, but that’s not even the big one.” You chuckled and stood, pulling up the skirt of your dress the tiniest bit, showing off the large mark left from the dragon’s talons. “Smaug did that.”
“Holy shit…” One of your friends murmured.
“The little scar on my cheek is, surprisingly, the only one I got during the Battle of Five Armies, but that one healed up so well, it’s hard to even see it.” You sat back down next to Kili.
“Meet anyone cool?” Ethan asked.
“Most of them are in attendance.” You replied, and the dwarves chuckled. “I did meet Legolas briefly. And Elrond. And we stayed with Bard for a bit; his kids were really nice. Also Thranduil is like…kinda mean.”
“He is an acquired taste, that is for certain.” Gandalf piped up from the corner. “Not entirely unreasonable, though.”
“What was your favorite part of the trip, lass?” Bofur asked, that mischievous twinkle in his eye.
“If that isn’t a loaded question…” You chuckled, shaking your head. “I honestly…I feel like there are too many to count. There were a lot of moments that really stuck out to me and I loved them all in different ways for different reasons; staying at Beorn’s, riding in the barrels down the river, the party at Laketown…” You took Kili’s hand and he gave yours a squeeze. “Obviously, I’m not single anymore, so I loved every moment that led up to that, as well, and…all of the moments since then, too.”
The group sat there for a while, reminiscing, telling stories. Balin recounted the moment you stole Smaug’s fire. Bofur told them all how wasted you’d been at the aforementioned party in Laketown. Fili recalled when he’d spotted you outside their cells in Mirkwood, disguised as an elf guard and Dwalin bragged that you’d stood up Legolas at the Festival of Starlight that night, managing to trick every elf you passed, including their prince.
“I have a story.” Kili spoke after a while, and everyone piped down, eager to see what he had to say. “So, that first night in the Shire, shortly after Thorin arrived, Gandalf informed us that there would be a mysterious fifteenth member of the company. He said fifteen was a lucky number and that, in addition to our Burglar, we were in need of a Book Keeper to…keep the record straight, or something of the sort. And I thought to myself, we have Ori for that, he’s a scribe, what more could we possibly need to keep the record of the adventure? We waited for a bit. Waited a little longer. And then I hear this little voice in the distance, down the hall and around the corner. Didn’t think much of it.”
You listened carefully. In all your time together, he’d never told you what was going through his head the moment you’d met.
“So Gandalf sends me to get her. Up until then, we didn’t even know she was a woman, which was a bit of an upset among the company. I wasn’t anywhere near the door, so I wasn’t quite sure why he’d sent me of all dwarves, but I stood and walked out of the room and down the hall and when I turned the corner and I…I saw her standing there, looking very lost and something happened, then. It was like she was glowing, this stunning, beautiful woman, and the first word out of her mouth is my name.” He chuckled and shook his head, squeezing your hand. “I’m sure I stood there, gaping at you like an idiot for a good, long time before finally asking if I’d met you before because surely, I would have remembered if we had. As it turned out, she’d come from an entirely different realm to help us.”
You caught a proud look on Thorin’s face, amusement in those blue eyes of his.
“I remember that tense moment after she was finally introduced to the company. I didn’t know whether or not Uncle would let her come along on the journey and, if he didn’t and she went back home after journeying so far to get to us…Even then, I knew she’d be taking half of my heart with her if she left.”
“Awwww…” Natalie pouted.
“But he let her come. And…I know for a fact that I wouldn’t be sitting here with all of you if she hadn’t.”
“And the rest is history.” Fili said, grinning.
“I’ve got a question.” Gloin said, holding up a copy of your book that had been lying on the coffee table. “What’s this, lassie? The Prince and the Prophet?”
“That’s my novel. I finished it when I got back, published it a few months back.”
“You just casually published a novel?” Bilbo asked, thoroughly impressed. “Is it that easy in this realm?”
“It takes time, sure, but actually getting it out there is kind of easy in this realm, depending on how you go about it.” You shrugged.
“Let me see.” Kili held out his hand and Gloin tossed it to him. He looked at the cover and he couldn’t help but notice the resemblance he and the love interest shared, right down to the height difference with the main character. “Second in line for the throne, first in line for her heart.” He read the tagline and his cheeks reddened.
“Well that sounds familiar, doesn’t it?” Fili joked, taking the book from his brother’s hands and holding it up so the others could see it side by side. “Kind of looks familiar too. Huh.”
“I knew it!” Phil pointed, triumphant. “I fucking knew it!”
“Ohhhhhh. Kili. Killian. I get it.” Cianna agreed, and everyone in attendance laughed.
Kili laughed in disbelief, his face right in front of yours. “You named him Killian?”
“As they say, write what you know.” You laughed, shielding your face by taking a sip from your drink. “I needed something to bury myself in. Try to fill in the hole in my heart a little bit, you know?”
Kili pressed a long kiss to your cheek. “All too well, Amrâlimê.” He raised an eyebrow, mischievous. “Do you think I could have a copy? Being your muse and all, I think it’s only fair.”
“Of course you can.” You laughed.
“Are there any mentions of the heir to the throne, Book Keeper? Prince Fillian, perhaps?” Fili asked and your friends all cracked up.
“No, of course not, that would be ridiculous.” You scoffed. “His name is Finnian and he has an intense passion for musical theater.”
The company erupted into laughter. You took a long moment to look around the room. It was like that last night before the battle in a way. You knew the magic of this night was limited. Once it was over, you’d never have this feeling again, this swirl of nostalgia and camaraderie and home, the mix of both of your homes together. Sure, now you had the ability to go back and forth, but you weren’t sure you’d ever get to have them all together in one room again. Only time would tell.
Hours later, the party finally ended. You had lots of help cleaning up, and your friends slowly started leaving to go back to their homes, unsure if when they woke this crazy night would be more than a dream. Some of the dwarves left as well, escorted by Gandalf out the front door and back to Middle Earth.
Once you finally had the place in a relatively normal state and you, Gandalf, Bilbo, and the Durins were the only ones left, you felt Kili’s presence behind you, warm and close. You turned into his arms, resting your head against his chest. He pressed a long kiss to your forehead and then murmured against your hairline the words you had been waiting to hear all night, “Come, Amrâlimê. Let’s go home.”
***
The celebrations in Erebor when you returned were unlike anything you’d ever experienced before. Dwarves, Elves, Men, and a wizard and a hobbit and a Book Keeper all celebrating together, one last time before they’d all go back to their own settlements and move on with their lives.
The men, Bard had told you, were considering moving to Dale from Laketown, in order to be closer to Erebor for trading with the Dwarves. Many of the dwarves that had come to fight alongside the company were staying, too, to help restore Erebor to its former glory. A lot of work had to be done to get it to that point, Thorin had told you. Especially since a dragon had torn his way through the place to escape the woman who’d stolen his fire.
Speaking of Thorin, he’d granted you a title and a gilded emerald circlet to go along with it, declaring you as an honorary Princess of Erebor, although given your relationship to his nephew, you would have married into that title soon enough anyway. And these days, you weren’t the only princess in Erebor. Dís, Kili and Fili’s mother, had made the journey in your absence, joining the rest of her family in their ancestral home. She had been incredibly kind to you and had welcomed you to the family immediately. Her brother and sons trusted you like their own, so she did, too, especially once she heard everything you’d done for them.
Slowly but surely, the Lonely Mountain was becoming less and less lonely, abuzz with people, the smithing industry up and running again, and every torch lit with warm light.
After another week, Bilbo decided it was finally time to go home. He and Gandalf prepared for the return journey. Bilbo wanted to slip out unnoticed, but the company caught word of it and gathered one last time to see him off at the gate.
“If any of you are ever passing Bag End…Tea is at four. There’s plenty of it…You are welcome anytime.” Bilbo said, his eyes sincere, and his voice wavering.
The dwarves all bowed to him one final time, each of their eyes glassy with tears.
“You’ll have to come back to visit someday.” You said, a tear trickling down your cheek, the pink light of sunrise flushing the scene with warmth and beauty. “For the wedding.”
Bilbo’s eyes softened and he took a step forward. You knelt down to the ground so he could give you one last hug before leaving for the Shire after all this time. He whispered in your ear, “I wouldn’t miss it for the world, Book Keeper.”
He started to walk away, stopped only by Thorin, who followed him up the path for a more private goodbye. Kili wiped a tear from his cheek and turned you towards him, gazing up at you as he had so many times before. “This is it, isn’t it? This is the end of the story?”
“It’s the end of the book, sure, but…” you shook your head, “it’s not the end of the story. It…well, to me, it feels like the beginning of a new one, except this time…I have no idea what’s coming next.”
Kili pulled you down to his level, pressing a long kiss to your lips. “We’ll find that out together, Amrâlimê, one page at a time…”
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sw33t-d1vine · 3 months
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I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND.
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WILLIAM AFTON x GN!READER
— cw : fluff , reader is bad at baking , silly silly..!!!!
— word count , 607
— a/n : hi guys life is kicking me in the butt . sorry for no uploads 😓 anyway , silly question for u all !! what r some other fandoms or interests r u guys into ? im into Genshin , Identity V and spiderman ^_^ !! its just a silly question , id like to know my followers more !! ALSO , this is inspired by n incident that happened to my friend where she cooked cookies in the fucking microwave
・Enjoy what you read ? come join my discord server to see sneak peaks and chat with me and other friends ! Link in my pinned post :)
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— Baking was hard, for some reason.
You didn’t do it often, so it definitely was a lot more complicated than it should’ve been. You had to make sure you followed the instructions right and added just the right amount of each ingredient.
Your boyfriend, William Afton, was out. You didn’t have a reason to really make anything for him, you just wanted to. So, you decided to make some chocolate chip cookies.
It was going smoothly. You added all the ingredients correctly, you made sure the batter was stirred right and now you were shaping them into hearts! It was so cute, surely your boyfriend would love them.
Then, the actual baking process came. You had set each of the little heart dough cookies into the plate. You didn’t need the instructions for this, it was obvious on what to do next.
So, you put the plate in the microwave, set the timer, let them sit and left the kitchen, content with what you finished.
You couldn’t wait for the cookies to be done! You knew William had a sweet tooth, especially for cookies and brownies. It was funny, you wouldn’t expect a man like him to really like sweets all that much, but he truly enjoyed them.
As you continued to think of how much William would love the sweets, you suddenly smelt something burning. You paused, sniffing, and furrowing your eyebrows, before sniffing again. It wasn’t until the fire alarm went off that you realized the microwave was on fire.
It was on FIRE.
Immediately running to get a fire extinguisher, you panicked, silently hoping William wouldn’t come home to a microwave on fire.
You returned, using the extinguisher to put out the fire, and letting out a long sigh. You set the extinguisher down, looking at the microwave.
Just as you were about to grab the burnt cookies out of the microwave, you heard a click from the front door.
William was home now, and he let out a tired sigh. Before he could even speak, he smelt the burnt cookies, and raised an eyebrow, walking over to the kitchen. “Darling.. I’m home.” He peaked his head in.
You stood there awkwardly, giving him a small smile as you held the burnt cookies with the mittens. “..Surprise..?”
William narrowed his eyes at you, watching as you shifted your hold on the plate. His eyes looked down at the cookies first, before trailing off to the microwave. “..What happened..?”
“Uhm-“ You set the plate down on the counter, waving the mitten around to clear the air. “..Well, I was trying to make you cookies, but… that didn’t go as planned.” You looked away, cheeks flushing a bright pink in embarrassment.
William looked at you for a long moment, before letting out a laugh. He walked over, “I appreciate that you tried to make me cookies,” He looked closer at the cookies, “But you don’t put them in the microwave.. Not unless they’re intended to be cooked in it, my dear.”
You let out a small, “oh”, shrugging your shoulders. “..I wanted them to be ready before you got here, so I thought the microwave would be quicker than the oven.” You explained, glancing at the microwave. It would be a miracle if it continued to work..
“Ah, well.” William hums, “Why don’t we cook some together? And this time we use the oven?” He teased, which made you grumble and blush. “..Okay.”
The rest of the day was spent making cookies and cleaning up the mess you made. You learnt your lesson and would make sure to never use the microwave for cookies ever again..
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audistorium · 3 months
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How I Even Got Here: A Letter from Lemon to Hopeful Creatives
This is going to be a lot. But maybe that's why we(I) made a tumblr. This is a place stories like these can be told.
Four months ago I was not a showrunner.
Four months ago I had no idea what to do.
Four months ago I had little to no friends in Audio Drama as a whole. There were a small handful of twitter people I knew, and I was a ghost in a few discords because I was afraid to ask anyone anything. But.. I was mostly riding solo.
I spent several years learning nothing but sound design after becoming completely enthralled by The Sandman. Shortly after I found SCP Archives and indie Audio Dramas that blew my mind.
Yet even with all that time making soundscapes and learning the intricacies of sound design under my belt, I still felt that gnawing imposter syndrome of creating a show. I've now learned this is pretty widespread in AD creators. Funny how that works, isn't it?
Who was I? Some broke kid from Arkansas that's fascinated by productions of sound and theatre of the mind? A less than well known comedian that wanted to tell the weird tales that manifest from nothing in my brain? I guess in the end that didn't really matter to me. I wanted to tell the scary stories that popped into my head and combine them with later episodes that tell funny ones. An interweaving web that I couldn't get out of my head until I brought it to life.
I talk about the night I uploaded my first episode a lot. My hands were shaking. My heart was nearly beating out of my chest and my face was buried in my palms for a while. I ended up saying "Fuck it." and hit upload. I sat there for a while just watching the episode pop up on different platforms one by one.
There it was. The thing I built up and wrote and worked my ass off for so long for. "What now?" I wondered.
I sat there for an hour kind of looking at the Spotify cover art that had been done well over a year before this point. Yet somehow it felt more real now. More tangible. This was something I could hold in my hands now and say I created. That was an unreal feeling. It was even more mind bending to think that this was only the start of the journey.
I got on Twitter that night and posted about it. It did not take long for someone to reach out. That person was Jesse Hall. Someone who showed me enough kindness to say all of these things that spelled out to me: "Hey, there are communities out there of people that want you to keep making these"
I ended up finding my home, The Liminal Lands discord. A show hiding out in a discord for another show. The thing is, though..
There really WAS this sense of community in it.
Since that point I have been in shows that previously I was only a fan of. I have met people that have been doing this for like 10+ years that treat me as a peer. I have other friends now that are also new showrunners.
I've been asked to be the sound designer in two different productions that are aiming for Tribeca. How nuts is that?
While it does mean my own show has to wait a second, this is incredible that people actually want to involve me at such a level when I feel like the biggest imposter in the room.
It has not been an easy past four months. Not even remotely. I wrote, voiced and sound designed episode 2: Lemonal in 24 hours because I felt like I needed to tell that story. It was one that was very personal. I've been able to share experiences of helplessness, death and fear. But also personal growth.
Soon, of my own humor.
I can put all of myself into this and I never have any intention of stopping that.
Four months later, I am a showrunner. I am the writer, sound designer and often one of the voice actors in my own show.
Four months later, I am confident in what I am capable of, and I am extremely proud of what I've been able to do because so many caring people pushed me and told me that I can do this. That If I stop punishing myself and telling myself my work is bad, I'll learn to love it more. So I did.
Four months later, I have friends that I would not trade for anything in the world and I think that things are only going up from here.
If you stumble across this as a hopeful creative, and you're not certain that you can accomplish what you want.. Well. Look at me.
I had nothing and no one. Our very small budget got us 3 covers and published. Good enough.
Now I have people that care enough to make me better every day. People that just want to be involved in what I made. That is extremely cool, and nowwww, every time I make something new I improve. I couldn't ask for anything better.
Take the leap. People will help you. People will support you.
I promise.
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vhygoxo · 11 months
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Pale Moonlight
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After your grandfather Atera passes you decide to move in with your grandmother. Since this is your gap year after graduating, you get to decide what you want next, assuming this is a great opportunity. Moving to one of your home reserves you're ready to start your new life. When you finally come back after being distanced for so long secrets and mysteries of the reserve start to unravel.
Paul Lahote x Reader
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Chapter 6: Discovery
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Finally back with a new chapter! Which is probably surprising lol since I took a long break. But I do have more chapters in store. I want this story to be focused on not only being Paul's imprint, but also into the life of the reserve, the characters stories. But other than that enjoy! I know we're in a drought for Paul lahote content. I’ll also be uploading imagines and other Wolfpack content in the future 🫶
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Chapters
1. Homecoming
2. Emissary’s
3. Connection
4. Prey
5. Awakening
6. Discovery
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As the next morning came I tried to stay in my bed for as long as I could. My eyes eventually fluttered open, my bones felt weary, throat dry and parched.
I wasn’t so sure I wanted to get out of my bed. Not after everything I experienced yesterday. Thinking of all I have to face it made me stuck to my bed.
It’s still hard for me to digest everything. How am I supposed to live knowing what’s truly out there? What type of life awaits me for me?
Vampires are real and one had attacked me. Until Paul Lahote, a man I barely know, was the one to rescue me. All in the form of this huge vicious grey wolf.
Learning about Paul’s true nature, including the others, about how they’re all ‘shifters’. It all made me feel crazy. I wasn’t sure how to react to their explanation. What made me feel crazy was that I somehow understood everything.
Living with my grandparents in the summer and visits in between I learned a lot. Many stories live in my head because of me simply listening to my grandfather.
He wasn’t the type to sit us kids down. Just a few times in the winter for story time if we were lucky. Other than that you’d have to catch him at the right moment.
He’d tell them randomly, while we drank tea, or went for a car drive, even just sitting quiet at home. It all depended on what mood my grandfather was in.
I always believed him even when his stories seemed ridiculous. Our people, indigenous people as a whole, we have certain ways.
Somethings that are even mysterious to us. Stories of folk tales and local creatures were common to hear and know about.
It’s a totally different experiencing said stories in real life. It was easier to think of them as just stories. But now I know that there is truth to such stories. It all made life feel surreal for me.
Eventually I crawled out of bed once the questions in my head started to eat me up. I needed answers, explanations, anything to help me understand. I knew there was only one person that could help me.
My grandmother was up and waiting for me downstairs. I could sense her as I got my self ready. The air was filled with tension and uneasiness.
“My girl” She exclaimed as I came down the stairs. I gave a weak smile before we headed to the couch. Sitting down beside her she squeezed my hand comforting me.
“How did you rest? Are you feeling okay?” My grandmother fussed over me as she brushed the hair away from my face. I smiled and cupped her hand softly.
“I rested well enough. How are you holding up?”
“Oh my girl… I couldn’t help but worry over you. I know you must be going through a lot right now… Thinking a lot… Here have something to eat first. Get your strength back”
With the food ready she and I ate our breakfast. I somehow felt at peace once we began to eat in silence. For this brief moment it felt as if nothing had changed. All I focused on was my grandmother and this moment. Bracing myself for what I know I have to face eventually.
Once we had finished and cleaned up we sat back onto the couch. My grandmother had stepped into her room. Before she came back out carrying a small cedar box.
“What is that?” I asked once she sat down with me. She smiled at me softly before she opened the box. It had initials and some florals carved into the box. Once opened there were small carved trinkets and pictures.
“Your grandfather made me this box. Originally it was meant for jewellery. When he’d go hunting he’d carve me pieces of jewellery made from antlers and bone. Necklaces, rings, earrings, all hand made by him. Little tokens of love and affection. He carved this box for me to keep everything in it. Over the years I kept our memories together in this box”
She skimmed through her stacks of pictures. Old pictures of her and my grandfather as a young couple. Their friends and events they attended. She pulled out a set of pictures for me to look at.
“This was around the time your grandfather shifted. He had just turned 17 before a stray vampire began to lurk around the reserve. It made him and his fellow pack members shift. All of them were only 16-18 at the time”
“Pack members?”
“…What exactly did Sam and his friends tell you?”
She paused to look at me after questioning me. I stopped looking at the pictures to focus. Trying to remember what I was told.
“Well… I know everyone besides Kim and Emily is a wolf. I—I mean shifter, that they take on their spiritual forms, which is the shape of the wolf… right?”
“Yes they’re called shifters. For you to understand I need to explain some things”
My grandmother looked at me eager to know my decision. I could see she was nervous as I was. But I trusted her to know that she’ll be honest and explain everything I don’t understand. I nodded my head in agreement before she started.
“Long ago Taha Aki and our ancestors were blessed with their nature from our relatives the wolves. Fierce spiritual warriors stronger than any force. As a means to protect and guide our tribe. Only certain men in the tribe are blessed with this gift. It’s a lifestyle few can walk”
She handed me a picture of a huge dark grey wolf. Almost as if his fur was black on the top. Looking at the handwriting on the photo inscribed was my grandfathers name.
“They had dealt with the colonizers easily enough. It’s why despite our small tribe we always kept our territory despite many enemy attempts to take it. When our people first came across the cold blooded vampires it changed everything. We had never come across such a threat. Whole villages would be slaughtered in a matter of a few hours at the hands of a few vampires. They looked human but quickly our shifters knew they were unnatural”
I felt my own blood run cold. Terrified at the thought of vampires. My throat felt as if it was slowly closing as I remembered Victoria. How fast she was and how close I was to death.
“When the first shifters killed them they ripped them to pieces. Our warriors decided to collect all the pieces to place together. To inspect and see the vampire up close. Everyone in the village had gathered to come take a look at the beast. It laid there stiff, it’s insides grey and solid, the skin reflected like gemstones. Everyone was amazed our warriors killed such a powerful creature. All until the limbs started to move, quickly the body squirmed to join back together, some pieces did and tried to fight back once more. Pale and cold because they’re undead, immortal, their bodies are made of stone”
I gasped shocked at what I was hearing. It made me think of how Victoria’s skin felt. Like cold sandpaper but solid and hard. There was no softness in her icy grip. Even when Paul bit down onto Victoria I could hear crumbling and cracking. I almost thought she was a porcelain doll with how awful the cracking sounded.
“Quickly the body was tossed and burnt in the fire. All until nothing but ash was left. Burning them is the only way to truly kill a vampire. Our shifters are the only force powerful enough to defeat them. This has been their duty for centuries. Our true protectors and guides of the Quileute tribe”
I sat quiet dumbfounded at what was being told to me. My grandmother just patiently waited and observed my reaction. My mouth was agape from shock and surprise. I wasn’t quite sure what to say but I knew I had questions
“Wow… I… I somehow understand… But I still have a few questions if that’s alright”
“I understand my girl. But you need to know what a heavy responsibility it is to be a shifter. It takes great discipline and dedication. It’s a delicate balance between spiritual and physical nature. If you aren’t balanced it can be volatile. It can be a difficult process harnessing their true nature. There are some aspects you can’t control”
“…Such as imprinting right?” I asked which made her whip her head at me taken aback. Even I sat up straight nervous. I could tell it caught her off guard as she coughed.
“Grandma … I don’t fully know what an imprint is. I didn’t get to fully ask either because I was too shocked and upset. I understand somewhat about how shifting works… All I know is this imprinting with Paul involves me. That’s what they told me from what I remember. I… I just don’t know how I fit into all this. I’m not a shifter or anything magical as far as I know. Or am I? Is this what you're struggling to tell me?”
“No no you’re not a shifter my girl” She said slightly giggling at me. At this point I had too many questions. But I really wanted to know what an imprint is. Since I know this connects me to Paul somehow. What role do I play in all of this? Grandma sighed before she recollected herself.
“Well… Even for me it’s difficult to explain. An imprint connection really depends on the people in the connection. You see when the colonizers came, they took almost everything from us, you know? Genocide, Residential schools, day school, all of it took a toll on our people. It was a struggle to even carry our traditions so most of our teachings about shifters, their nature, what we knew was lost. It’s been about 3 generations since your grandfathers time and since we last had shifters amongst us”
She explained as I sighed defeated. Slowly sinking into my seat. My grandmother rubbed my back in comfort. Before she started to explain once more.
“Over the years we’ve gathered what info we do know about shifters. Some of the teachings have been coming back. All we understand is it’s a lifelong bond. That only happens once a lifetime between a shifter and their imprint. It’s a strong spiritual bond that links two for life. Some even believe it lasts beyond life”
I sat silent for a moment to think. It made me rethink of Paul’s words before I left. His brief explanation to me of what an imprint is.
I remember the look on his face, a frown filled his face with eyes that were sad, one of the reasons I wanted to leave so quickly. I caused a lot of trouble for not only him but for everyone.
“... Y’know…That’s all Paul really said to me before I left… Now that I think about it. I didn’t really understand what he meant at the time. But he said that we— that I can choose what we mean? I’m guessing he meant this imprint connection”
She had grabbed my hand and held it close to her. I sat worried until she gave me a warm smile. There was a short pause before she sighed
“My girl… As much as I want to sit here and explain everything to you. I think it’s best you just talk to Paul”
I felt uncomfortable as soon as she suggested such. I didn’t quite know how to face Paul. I had hardly knew him before all of this. Now I’m suddenly inter-soul-twined with him? It didn’t help he was quite upset about all of this.
“Grandma—“
“Remember I’m an imprint myself. When your grandfather imprinted on me he made sure I understood right away. He just wouldn’t have it either way”
“You were also the one to say you and grandpa got married quickly. Is it because he imprinted on you that you guys got hitched?”
Her face had flushed red it was the first time I’ve ever seen her get flustered. I felt I should’ve bitten my tongue to stop myself. But it was too late the words were spoken.
“Y\n”
“I’m sorry! But I’m just worried. I still don’t fully understand what any of this imprint business has to do with me and Paul. Does this mean I have to get hitched with Paul right away? Like you and grandpa? Except I have to with some stranger I don’t know?—“
“—This is why I’m suggesting you talk to Paul. Imprint connections vary for me and your grandfather it was different. Yes we got married but it was because we loved and eventually understood one another. Not just because of this imprint connection. Y’know we have other imprints on the rez here. They’re great examples of how different imprints can be”
I only knew Sam and Emily were imprints so far. But them too are basically married, already engaged, despite being in their early 20’s. All I knew from Kim was they’ve been together for awhile. Leah didn’t really like Sam from what I understood.
“Like Sam and Emily? But they’re engaged as well”
“Yes but there are others. Quill has his own imprint also you know”
Hearing the words come out of my grandmothers mouth shocked me. This whole time I’ve been home Quill hadn’t bothered to bring up his imprint? Much less let me meet her?
“What? Quill?”
“Yes Quill has his own imprint. I bring it up because his relationship to her is different from that of Sam and Emily, and also me and your grandfathers. Claire young is her name, and she’s only 4, she’s the niece of your friend Emily” Hearing so surprised me and I could feel it express on my face. My grandmother scolded me as I felt myself cringe. I couldn’t help it since it shocked me to know this about Quill.
“They aren’t together y\n but they are imprints. Quill has since taken her in almost as his own daughter. With the approval of her parents of course. They know about all of this also. It was understood that the two needed to be together and Quill decided he would become whatever Claire needed. He’ll become a friend, a brother, a father, whatever Claire needs. For now he serves her as a older brother\father figure”
“… And you said before this is something sacred right?”
“Yes my girl and no one gets to choose their imprint. In the old days we understood imprinting and it’s nature to be more connected to the wolves. Rather than our human nature. It’s why our people never fully questioned it. Wolves bond for life it’s just in their nature. When our ancestors were blessed with the gift of shifting we understood imprinting was one of the gifts that came with it. Instead of questioning we adapted, it’s why it’s important for the imprints, to define the connection between them. Otherwise your connection can falter and be fatal”
“Wait—fatal?” Before she could answer me someone had knocked on the door just then. Interrupting and startling the two of us. Both of us were heavily into our conversation we hardly realized someone was here.
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I got up and walked to the door quickly. Opening the door there stood Quill. A solemn look to his face. I was surprised to see him standing here. Usually he texts or calls me to make sure I’m home.
“Hey Y\N”
“Hey…”
“Is that Quill?” Our grandmother asked me, I stood aside to let him in, stepping in he greeted her. She rose from where she sat and came over to us. I wasn’t quite sure how to react to Quill’s sudden appearance.
“I’m glad you stopped by so soon Quill to check on y/n. Me and y\n were just finished visiting. I’m sure you and her have a lot to talk about. So I’ll leave you two as I’ll be heading over to Sue Clearwater’s… I need to thank her for helping you last night”
“Oh— Grandma I’ll come with you I want to thank her too” I said trying to grab my shoes to leave. She shook her head and held my hands. Stopping me from grabbing them.
“My girl it’s okay you stay here and visit with Quill. Let your cousin explain what I can’t. You need all the help you can get”
She assured me, eventually she made her exit, leaving me and Quill alone. Honestly I felt as if my grandma was glad for Quill to step in somehow. After settling in our spots at the porch table outside Quill began to speak.
“Well jeez… I don’t really know where to start… First of all how are you?”
“Me?…I’m not even sure… I feel I’m stuck in shock if we're being honest” This comment earned me a smile from Quill. Who was busy examining my neck and throat area carefully. I opened up my shirt collar to fully show him. I was still feeling tender and sore but there wasn't much redness anymore.
“Sorry I just have to see… When I seen you not moving on Emily's bed I was panicked…I'm just really sorry this happened to you—”
“Quill look I know you're feeling a bit guilty about all of this but it isn't your fault. I’m not severely damaged or anything. I'm fine infact I'm grateful to be alive. How many people can say they were attacked by a vampire and lived?” I attempted to comfort Quill who I could tell was feeling bad. He sighed and shifted in his seat.
“I’m really glad to hear that. Yeah… You’re right I don’t see much scars that’ll be left on you… So that’s good. Honestly… But look y/n… I'm sure you have a lot of questions… Right? About all of this and how you fit into it. I'm here not only to check on you but also uhh… In better terms inform you. So any questions you wanted answered I can help you with”
“Really?”
“Yes really all of us know how it is when you first learn about all… of this. It's confusing and hard. Doesn't make it easier on you since you were attacked” I nodded silently in agreement. Feeling assured by having Quill here to support me. As I sat I thought of what questions I wanted to ask.
“I just wanted to be the first to tell you of how much support you can rely on. In truth I’m so glad you finally know about this. It was a struggle for me not to say anything to you. But I want you to know you can depend on me for anything”
“Really? You were going to tell me before I was attacked?”
“Yes of course and all of us here who know about it. We just wanted to ease you into this life but shit happened so fast. But good thing is you finally know. We all support each other here and now you’re one of us. You’ll learn who all knows eventually” Quill said earnestly which even I could feel he was being honest. It was a true comfort to hear that from him.
“Thanks Quill. I appreciate it truly, y’know at first of course this was all scary, but since I woke up I somehow feel better about all of this. The more I listen and understand anyway”
“Really? I’m glad to hear that. Of course I don’t want you to be shy to ask anything. But I don’t wanna push your limits and overwhelm you y’know? Do you think you can handle it all?” He sat awaiting for my answer. I nodded and took a deep breath in as an attempt to calm my nerves.
“So shoot your shot and I'll do my best to answer”
“Okay… Can we talk about when you first shifted?” Quill sat for a moment thinking back. He opened his mouth to speak but paused once more. I could tell he was nervous about all this also.
“Ok well… I shifted a bit after grandpa died, sometime after Jake and Embry, it was crazy y\n. I was younger back then. I thought I was going through some crazy growth spurt. I was constantly angry or on edge. It wasn’t until Sam approached me along with the boys. Once they told me about everything…I just… I just tried to survive. Y’know? Its been crazy to adjust to. But all in all it isn’t hard to maintain. It’s definitely a different lifestyle I thought I’d live”
“Yeah that I can understand. But can I ask what about your imprint? Grandma was telling me about some little girl named Claire? What’s that all about”
“You heard about Claire?” Quill asked as he started to sweat. I could tell he was becoming more nervous. I nodded yes and awaited for an answer.
“You understand how imprints work right? I—I’m sure grandma told you by now”
“She did and I somewhat understand. Not as fully as I’d like to since everyone keeps telling me I define it? I don’t know to be honest. I’m just curious on what you and Claire’s connection is like. If you don’t mind me asking”
“Well… All I can say that part is true, about defining it, me and Claire for example. I don’t know if you know but she’s only four. For her… She views me as an older brother. And that I will be since it’s what she decided. That’s something I’m fine with, with our bond it’s sacred, and I’m blessed to be chosen as her sworn protecter. And in a way she’s also my own protector” After hearing Quill’s words it made me feel reassured somehow. Realizing despite this divine connection both can still have a decision on the matter. Maybe Paul really was my own sworn protector. It could even be that I’m Paul’s protector. Who fully knows?
“… How do you feel about being Paul's imprint?” Quill asked me and I felt my stomach rise. Not that I was feeling scared but I felt more nervous than anything. I wasn’t even sure what to say to Quill. Although I liked and respected him I don’t know who he is fully.
“I'm not sure how I'm supposed to feel. I hardly know Paul and suddenly we're… we're… I don't even know yet…” We sat in silence for a moment before Quill patted my back again. Although I was struggling it was a comfort to know I have Quill with me.
“There's a lot you still need to learn about. But you don't have to figure out all of it today. Just take your time we all figured you'll be resting for the next couple of days”
“By we do you mean Paul, Sam, and the others?”
“Yeah… We're all pretty close… Soon you will be too” Quill said assuring me. Talking with him was making me remember how I was back at Emily’s house. Since I was so stressed I reacted pretty harshly to them all. I felt betrayed somehow and scorned. After the smoke cleared I feel I shouldn’t have behaved that way. I wasn’t sure how to face any of them again.
Paul crossed my mind as well, I wished to know what he feels about all of this, how he views this connection. Remembering how he saved me from a worser fate. If we are truly bonded then how do we move forward?
“Quill… From what I remember you guys are mindlinked right? Or is it interlinked?” I asked him and he smiled. “You can call it a mind link yes” he sort of laughed before correcting me.
“Well.. either way… can I ask something?”
“Anything”
“Do you know how Paul feels about this?” This made Quill straighten his posture, feeling he was nervous again, he sat quiet for a moment. Almost as if he was deep in thought. I wondered how their mindlink was for them to experience.
“I know a little a bit about the mind link. You guys can understand each other in the pack… right? Or maybe you can explain it to me”
“Well… Yeah… it's hard to explain. I don't know what Paul thinks exactly including the others. But I can feel everyone’s emotion in the moment if that makes sense. If I tap in now I’ll know what he’s feeling but not what he’s thinking of or seeing specifically. An example is I can sense he’s angry but I won’t know what’s making him angry unless I ask. —Not saying he is angry right now! I’m just saying as an example. Just to be clear ok?"
“Oh? Oh okay…”
“The only one who can send ‘messages’ at any moment is the alpha. Our leader who is currently Sam. He can send and cross the boundaries in our mind at any given point. It’s like a huge group chat when we're wolves though. We can hear every thought from each other wether we like it or not. This is to help coordinate us but most of the time we’re all pissing each other off"
“Really?… That's actually really cool” I said smiling at him. Quill finally relaxed after explaining everything. Looking relieved and proud of how I was handling everything. Quill paused for a moment before scratching his head. Closing his eyes to breath in and out. He was deep in thought before he sat up to speak.
“From what I can pick up and understand is Paul feels… Worried”
“Worried? About what?” I asked and somehow this made Quill laugh. Confused I raised a brow at him. He shifted in his seat realizing his behavior.
“More like what aren’t we worried about. Look y/n we're dealing with the vampires, Victoria, the cullen family, Bella and Jacob their whole mess, shit just straight up surviving. Next is your sudden attack—”
I felt the hairs on the back of my neck rise. As if all the nerves in my body were being alerted. Looking around I didn’t realize Quill stopped mid sentence. He too could sense someone coming. Suddenly a truck revved in the approach.
It was a huge black truck, I hadn’t seen it before, even if I did I wouldn’t recognize who owned it. It wasn’t long before they parked. Out from the drivers door stood Paul his self.
Looking at my phone I realized I had missed a 2 texts from him. One asking if I was up, and another that he was on his way, I hadn’t checked my phone all morning. Paul looked so big, he was almost taller than his truck, seeing him come closer I felt my heart race. I didn't think he would show up so soon.
“Y/N”
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“Paul”
I called out surprised as he walked up to the two of us. I couldn’t help but take note of his build and size. Quill got up and grabbed his hand, in turn Paul pulled him for a hug, they did briefly before they both patted each others back with strength.
“Well I appreciate it Quill. Truly. Don't be afraid to drop by more” I said as Quill came over to hug me next. He agreed before pulling away to make his exit. Suddenly my eyes met Paul's as he walked over to sit down in Quills spot.
“It was great seeing you y\n but I gotta go. I just wanted to stop in and check on you before this guy did. While I was on my break anyway” Quill said as Paul smiled at him.
“You were lucky to not be on morning shift you shitass” Paul replied. At this point I hardly seen him smile. It made him look more kind I noticed.
“Ill message you guys later” Quill said as he slightly smirked at me. I felt my face flush warm, across my nose and under my eyes, I didn't even want to face Paul in fear he'll see my face like this.
His eyes were dark and fierce. I wasn't scared but more nervous, I felt super aware of myself, and how I looked. I didn't expect to see him so soon. I wasn’t sure how to face him after everything.
We watched Quill run to the treeline. Quickly shifting into his wolf form. I gasped and paused to watch him. Amazed at such a sight although it was quick. Disappearing fast into the tree line.
“It's good to see you. How are you feeling?”
“Me?… I’ve been better… it’s good to see you too… What brings you by?” I asked finally sitting down back into my chair. Hoping I didn't come off as too nervous. He smirked and kept his stare into me.
“Well you of course. How did you sleep?” He asked looking at me more than curious. Saying such words as if it were matter of fact. Being around Paul in a setting like this, with his questions, it all made me blush.
“I uh… I slept okay after I had my meds… I didn't really get to thank you or any of you guys properly for the help you gave me” I said which made him shake his head no.
“There's no need for that. We're all just glad you're safe… And—” he had paused before closing his mouth. Looking like he was afraid to utter another word. I furrowed my brows waiting for him to finish.
“And?”
“… Unchanged… Look it's just… We were worried you might've…”
“Unchanged?… You mean turn into a Vampire? Like Victoria?”
I finished his words since he was apprehensive. Paul looked a bit shocked I said so before him. But he nodded and agreed with me. I felt my heart rate steadily rising. Thankful myself I wasn’t changed.
Paul's eyes trailed down to my neck. Except his stare was intense, eyes lingering, along the collar of my shirt. I felt I was under a microscope.
His eyes wondered everywhere for a moment. But somehow I didn’t mind. It reminded me of how Quill behaved just earlier. I looked at him as I spread the collar of my shirt slightly. I wasn’t sure why I was so willing to show him my wounds. Maybe because I knew he needed reassurance.
Finally I realized I was sitting with my neck and chest flushed open. Almost as if he noticed how it was making me feel he pulled back and adjusted his self. His stare softened as I fixed my shirt.
“Sorry… I just want to make sure you’re not too hurt…” he said explaining his self. Eyes peering downwards staring at his hands. I smiled at his somewhat meek behaviour.
“It's okay that's how Quill was too. But I'm fine now, really, there isn’t much wounds or scars thankfully. The meds help with what pain I have… And also…” I trailed on nervously. I wasn’t sure how to bring up the imprint situation with him. I wasn’t quite sure how sensitive this was to him.
But Paul held onto every word I was saying. He awaited for me to continue on. Looking at my lips while I talked.
“Uh… I had a talk with him and my grandmother. About everything so far…” I said as he leaned in closer. Raising his eyebrows I could tell he was earnest in what I had to say.
“It was… Hard when this first happened to me. But somehow I feel more at ease.. Especially with what I know now… I feel sorry for how I reacted last night… it wasn’t right of me”
Again Paul shook his head, this time he made sure to face me, I looked up back at him. My hearts pounding so loud now I wonder if he can hear it. I also wonder how sensitive their senses are since they’re wolves.
“Don't be sorry for anything. If anything it should be me apologizing. I really am sorry y\n. I wasn't fast enough to be there for you in time. I should’ve just came straight to your place instead of you walking to meet me. Hell I should’ve just picked you up as planned”
“Paul wait—”
“You were never supposed to be in involved in something like this. Ever. If I wasn’t so slow in meeting you this wouldn’t have happened at all—”
“Paul—”
“If I was even a second late to get to you—”
I felt my hand reach across to him. Instead of holding his hand I touched the arm of his chair. Like an instinct I felt I had to stop him from speaking anymore.
“But you weren’t a second late. You were able to save me before anything happened. There’s no use worrying over something that didn’t happen. I’m here alive and unchanged shouldn’t that matter?”
With how silent Paul became I wondered if I said something wrong. Or maybe he was the type of guy who didn’t like people interrupting him. Either way I felt as if I did something to him.
Paul looked surprised at my words as he looked at me. His gaze softened and he took a deep breath. I could see his huge shoulders relax as he nodded in agreement. His brows were still furrowed.
“No… You’re right… I am really glad you are here safe and sound… It does matter” A soft grin spread across his face. I wasn’t with him long but already I wondered why was I ever scared of a man like this. If he wanted to hurt me he would’ve just let Victoria have me. Why waste his time?
“So… You talked to Quill and your grandma? What did they have to say”
“Well… They tried helping me understand how shifting works and everything attached… including um…” I paused feeling my stomach doing flips trying to say imprinting. But with Paul here so close to me. Staring at me intently holding on to my every word. I felt so nervous to even bring it up.
It wasn’t just some connection, this is serious, imprinting is a literal soul connection. As much as I liked Paul I didn’t quite know him yet. And this is a serious soul tie that somehow links us. Paul laughed slightly as my face flushed red.
“You’re feeling better right? I know you’re still learning things. Especially about imprinting”he said not even shy to admit it. As if he was looking for a rise in me he paused. I scoffed at him which earned me another handsome smile from him.
“We don't have to figure out everything right now y\n. I know this is a lot for you so I don't want to push anything on to you”
“Actually I want to talk about this whole imprinting thing. If you're alright with that. The more that’s explained I feel better” I asked Paul to ensure he was ready. To which he nodded his head agreeing with me.
“That's fine. So, what do you want to know?” Paul asked me curious. I braced myself mentally for what I was about to bring up.
“It's just… I don't understand what makes our imprint connection” This had made him stunned from what I could tell. He leaned back in his chair thinking hard. Paul’s overall energy is intense, even though he’s nice, I can’t help but feel intimidated.
“Everyone else has their own… definition. Quill and Claire they're basically siblings… Emily and Sam are going to be married… What about us?” The more I spoke the more I felt my face flush warm. I felt as if I was poking a sleeping bear to wake. Or in this case a wolf. I didn't know Paul enough to know how'd he react.
“Well… I don't expect you to remember but back at Emily's. I had told you that we both decide what our connection is. This imprint bond connects us mind and body. But we have to define it. For now let's just decide to be friends” Paul said with a sincere smile. I felt myself relax at ease knowing his thoughts.
“Friends?” I questioned him also a bit surprised by his suggestion. Paul had sat up straight in his chair hearing me say this.
“Or I could just serve as your protector. Nothing more. Guard you and your home for the time being. You're probably feeling uneasy about Victoria and all the other leeches lurking around—”
“I wouldn't mind being friends with you Paul” I corrected him. Of course I wanted to be friends. I just didn't want to force anything onto him. Friends is a great start to try and navigate this connection.
His handsome face smiled at me once more. And I could feel my heart beat quicken whilst looking at him. It was crazy to think how this imprint bond strongly influenced me.
“Alright friends it is then. But I'll still be serving as your protector anyway”
“My protector huh? How generous”
“It really isn’t. It’s the least I can do after everything you went through. This is what my role is as your imprint” I could sense Paul was serious especially with his tone of voice. All I could do was nod my head in agreement. Soon Paul stood up from where he sat.
“You’re feeling better right? How do you feel about us going to Emily’s?” He asked me as he looked down at me. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to see everyone. I hesitated to answer to which I think he could sense my unease.
“I think it’d be good for you to talk to all of them. They’ve been worried about you also. And I’m sure they can help you adjust to all of… this” Paul suggested to which I gave a weak smile. I shrugged my shoulders before I stood up to join him. I was going to have to face all of them eventually.
“Sure… I mean it’s just…” I felt hesitant about going back to Emily’s. To which I tried to explain myself to Paul. Who had turned to face me. His huge figure made it feel as if he was looming right over me.
“Don't worry we'll just go for a bit. If you feel uncomfortable or it's too much ill drive you back home. OK?” Paul said trying to assure me. I nodded as we walked to his parked truck. He had followed me to my side of the truck. Opening the door for me to get in I was surprised by his manners. Instead of questioning I just got in.
I couldn't help but like him a little more after such a gesture. As he walked around back to the driver's seat I adjusted my hair. Worrying about my appearance. Getting in the truck he smirked before starting the engine. Pulling into reverse and exiting the approach. He handed me the aux cord to which I refused.
“You don't wanna play music? I have bluetooth if you don't wanna use the aux”
“It's alright, you can put something on, it's your truck” I said as he shrugged his shoulders. Using Bluetooth he connected his phone to the stereo. A familiar song came on that surprised me.
“Is this /favoritebandsname l playing right now?” I asked curiously as his smile widened. His dark eyes still on the road.
“You like them too?’
Paul asked to which I nodded my head profusely. It made me happy to at least have similar music taste. From how Paul is I assumed he'd be my opposite. He had turned the knob for the volume up, the music blaring out the truck, I started to feel better. Definitely more relaxed and calm than this morning.
The two of us drove down the road, windows slightly open, as music filled the air. As I tried to mentally prepare myself to face everyone back at Emily's. Although It was a comfort to know that Paul would be by my side through this. I braced myself for what has yet to come.
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End of chapter 6 what y’all think? To stay updated on new chapters follow me and turn on notifications 🤍
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haleyhunwritess · 1 year
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Hiii!!! Could you write a 🤍 fic or drabble with dad!bucky and steve is seeing reader but bucky doesn’t know and they have an argument about something and bucky says something really hurtful so then steve goes to comfort her🥺🥺🥺🥺
🤍 drabble for dad!bucky and reader having an argument then steve comforting her because they're secretly dating
a/n: WAIT I LOVE THIS, also i'm sorry i've been trying to upload more for the celebration but i've been a bit busy with school :(( i'm gonna try to answer more this weekend hopefully (btw i love the ideas you guys send in) also i'm so sorry i keep making these longer than they need to be, you're all probably so sick of my writing at this point😭😭
𝐡𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐲’𝐬 𝟏𝐤 𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭
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"You couldn’t behave just this once? You had to embarrass me infront of my colleagues," Bucky mumbled, as slumping down on the couch.
You recently started working with your father, as an intern of course. You were still in college but it was summer, and unfortunately your summer plans got cancelled. As a birthday present, your mum had bought a trip to Paris. Just for the two of you.
Unfortunately, before the end of the semester, she got into a car accident. When you got to the hospital, she was in surgery. You and Bucky waited there for hours. Steve came by to try to get you both to go home but neither of you moved. Finally, the doctor walked over to you guys. The pitiful look on his face already making you queasy as he said the words that changed your life in an instant. She passed away, she didn’t make it.
Bucky thought that maybe working with him this summer could help you take your mind off of things. At first, it was actually nice to have work as a distraction. But lately, the workload has been more than usual. It’s been tiring and hard but you’ve been trying your best. Today, however, someone else made a mistake and you got blamed for it. You tried to stand up for yourself but no one would listen to you. You looked to your dad for help but Bucky just shook his head and apologized on your behalf.
“I didn't even do anything! Why do you always have to argue with me" You yelled once again, as you threw your bag on the couch.
"I don’t want to argue with you, but you messed up and you need to learn how to take accountability for your actions!" Bucky yelled back, no longer caring about keeping his voice down.
You scoffed in response, "I wish Mom was still here, she wouldn't do this to me. She would stand up for me, she wouldn't believe some other kid over me."
"Fuck I wish she was here so she could see you right now, she'd be nothing but disappointed in you. Thank fucking god she's not here to see you like this, she'd be so fucking ashamed." Bucky instantly regretted what he said, but it was too late. The harsh words already left his mouth, and there was no taking them back now.
You both stood there like that until the sound of the front door pulled you out of your thoughts. You noticed Steve had walked in with takeout in his hand. You completely forgot he was coming over for dinner tonight. You looked back at Bucky before running upstairs to your room.
"Wait sweethear-" Bucky got cut off as you slammed your bedroom door shut. He quickly got up to follow you but Steve stopped him.
"Just let me go talk to her first.” Steve said, knowing you’d be too upset to see Bucky right now.
“I didn’t mean to say that… I just felt guilty when she said what she said…I didn’t mean to h-hurt her, fuck please just go check on her.” Bucky quickly wiped the tears away, knowing there was a chance you wouldn’t be able to forgive him for what he said.
Steve patted his back, before making his way upstairs to your room. His heart broke listening to the quiet sobs coming from your room. He lightly knocked on the door, “Angel, are you in here?”
“Go ‘way, don’t wanna talk…” You mumbled, putting the covers over your head.
“Come on, angel, you don’t have to talk it’s okay, I just wanna make sure you’re okay.” Steve waited for a few minutes, hoping you’ll let him in soon. He sighed before turning the doorknob, surprised to find it unlocked, and walking in.
He walked over to you, and sat down on the bed before carefully moving the blankets down. You looked up at him, with your tear-stained face, still sobbing quietly as you kept thinking about what Bucky said.
“Oh baby, look at you. All these tears don’t look good on my angel, come on let’s dry these up.” Steve carefully wiped away all your tears with his sleeve before pulling you closer to him to let you lay your head on his lap.
“H-he said that…” You couldn’t even finish the sentence. You wanted to tell Steve the harsh words you’d heard earlier. You didn't know that he already heard them as soon as he walked in. It took everything in him to not beat the shit out of Bucky at the time but he knew you needed him more though.
“Shh shh, it’s okay, he didn’t mean it. You know how much he loves you. He didn’t mean what he said, I promise. And I know for a fact that she’d be nothing but proud of you if she was still here.” He quickly shushed you, not wanting you to cry again. He tried his best to soothe you with his sweet words. It helped a little but you couldn’t help but wonder if Bucky was right. Would she be disappointed?
“Do you think she’d be disappointed in me? If she ever found out about us? Actually, do you think he’ll be disappointed in me if I ever told him about us?” You mumbled.
Steve thought about it for a second before replying, “Maybe at first, but I’m sure he'll come around. He'll will have to come around, angel, because I’m never letting you go.” He mumbled, burying his face in your neck, making you giggle a bit.
“I miss her alot…” You mumbled, as you could already feel the tears making their way back.
“I know, angel, I know. We all do…” Steve laid there with you until you fell asleep. Stroking your hair, and rubbing your back every now and then. All he wanted to do was take your pain away. You didn’t deserve to feel this way. You were his angel, all he wanted to do was protect you.
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athetos · 3 months
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Okay, a bunch of theories (and mysteries that need to be solved) for severance season 2 I’ve conjured up:
- Irving’s outtie is actually undercover, and might have figured out a way to recall some of his memories, even if it’s only in dreams or through art - he keeps painting the hallway to the test floor, and occasionally paint drips when his innie is at work. The fact he already had Burt’s address written and circled on the map also lends a lot of credence to this theory. Plus, while the stuff was hidden in a false bottom, I kind of wonder if he expected at one point for his innie to take over outside of work. He could have used a cipher for his information, but chose not to. Maybe his chip was tampered with by the same woman who reintegrated petey… maybe they’re working together?
- and he’s so intent on exposing Lumon because he knows that they’re planning to use this shit for military purposes. It always goes back to finding ways to kill other people, and what’s better than soldiers with no baggage or memories of home to weigh them down, that have literally nothing to live for outside of war, and at the end the original consciousness won’t have ptsd or be able to leak information?
- was all the navy stuff really Irving’s, or his father’s, or a mix of both? Is he trying to avenge his father who died in war, potentially due to Lumon’s involvement? I’m betting it’s that.
- Gemma was absolutely a test to see if mark would recognize her, and he couldn’t. But why use her as a guinea pig? She supposedly died in the car accident a minimum of one month before mark joined Lumon, and mark has been there 2 years, with ms Clare only being awake for a little over 100 hours in that time. No, they had her in their possession before he joined. I think they might have been looking for test subjects, and had enough power and money to straight up abduct people with severe injuries from the hospital and tell their families they died. Or, perhaps Gemma was conscious and they got her to consent to experimental life-saving medical procedures from Lumon, with the caveat that she would work for the company afterwards… and never leave it, living on the test floor. Probably left that part out though.
- the “revolving” is probably some shit where they upload their consciousness into a computer. They’re possibly the board. Scratch that, they’re probably the board.
- what was so important about that card that milchick needed to do overtime contingency to find it?? Why risk him seeing his family or even getting a single glimpse of his outtie’s life over a stupid card?? Even if they’re related to sleeper agent shit, why couldn’t it wait until he was back at work the next day?? I’ve seen some people say they didn’t want them to know they could smuggle shit out (which let’s be real there’s no way the writing detecting scanner works), but wouldn’t the outtie have noticed it on him? If they knew he didn’t have it, then just wait until the following day it must be at work…
- okay were the sex workers severed or not. Actually i really fucking hope not because that opens way too many fucked up shit.
- harmony had medical equipment that said “Charlotte cobel” on it. At first i thought oh wow maybe it’s a dead partner, but reflecting more it’s got to be a dead (or presumed dead) daughter. Lumon could have offered to save her life or treat her if she worked for them, which would give her major motivation and explain why she had such an intense breakdown upon being fired. Plus - she had to know all that breastfeeding stuff from somewhere!
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Gunshot (DSAF Fanfic)
(Disclaimer: I’ve not been doing great lately with keeping up with my fics, and I’m sorry this has taken so long because of that. There will hopefully be a mass upload soon. 
Also, I’m not a doctor so I don’t know exactly how this stuff works bare with me. I’m just a weirdo who likes DSAF, creative writing, and the occasional nice spot of gore. I did look at an article on first aid for this particular type of wound to keep it somewhat accurate, but it may be a little off. Feel free to murder me in the comments for my medical malpractice.)
It was a relatively normal day at the Fazbender’s pizzeria, although it didn’t feel that way. All day it had felt like something was off, like something bad was going to happen.
Everyone had felt it, even Matt seemed slightly uncomfortable, his smile less pronounced than usual. Which honestly was an improvement but it was still creepy.
Jack and Dave had spent most of the day hiding in the Saferoom playing Uno.
Of course phoney comes in to yell at them from time to time, but they just ignore him.
The two men were enjoying this day despite the sinister aura, of course they were, they were in the Saferoom which had a very particular lack of Matt.
Eventually the fun had to come to an end however, when Dave did something that he never could have known was anything but harmless; he complained about being hungry.
Jack had brought food today (that had been the deal, he brought food, Dave brought Uno), but they had long since run out. 
Initially Jack ignored Dave’s complaints as they didn’t have to wait much longer until their job was over and they could go home, but he wouldn’t stop. 
Eventually Jack accepted defeat and ordered a pizza (yes they were in a pizzeria, but even with both of them being nigh unkillable zombies they weren’t willing to risk consumption of the toxic waste Freddy’s tried to pass off as pizza.)
“When is it gonna get here! I’m dying!” Dave whines, “You’re looking more appetizing by the minute. If it’s not here soon we’re finally going to find out if you’re an orange or a tangerine.”
“Relax Aubergine, it’ll be here in 5 minutes, company guarantee. Also if you try it I’ll tase you.”
“I’ll eat your taser. I’ve done it before.”
“Pah! Empty threats I’d tase you till you fucking exploded.” Jack says, taking out the taser in question and activating it as a sort of threat. 
Dave was unperturbed, simply snatching the taser, and with a smug face, swallowing it whole, the object making for a strange outline travelling down his giraffe-like neck.
Jack’s face was one of fear, astonishment, slight arousal and annoyance.
“We were talking for about 5 minutes Sportsy, better go get that pizza~” Dave says, with a wide smile across his purple face.
Jack just sits there for a moment, staring blankly, Dave acting as if he didn’t eat a taser. Eventually he silently stands up and basically runs out of the room.
Dave lays back in his place (he had brought a pillow in, stolen from Jack’s house of course, so he wouldn’t have to lay on the filthy floor.)
A few minutes later he hears a gunshot. 
Dave just rolls his eyes, he doesn’t care if someone got shot.
He does however care that 12 minutes later his Sportsy isn’t back.
Suspecting that Jack had been caught by Phoney or abandoned him Dave stands up and for the first time that day, leaves the room.
It doesn’t take long to find Jack.
The orange man is laying in a pool of his own blood with a clear bullet wound visible on his chest staining his uniform a horrible crimson, the wall behind him has an indent in it for where the bullet impacted, seemingly having gone the whole way through. Fortunately the wound is on the right side so it didn’t hit Jack’s heart. Unfortunately it seems to have fully punctured his right lung as Jack now lays on the ground breathing shallow, and his frantic movements slowing.
He’s alive. Barely. And whoever did this got away.
Dave rushes to Jack’s side and grabs his shoulders. “HOLY FUCK OLD SPORT ARE YOU OK?!?”
Jack looks like he wants to say something but can’t. Probably because he’s now drowning in his own blood and that makes talking slightly difficult.
Dave has absolutely not dealt with something like this before. Sure he’s been shot, he recalls dying that way once, although he could be wrong because he was pretty high at the time he thinks it may have happened.
However being shot doesn’t exactly teach one what to do when someone else is shot. Especially when you either died from it and used borderline magic to shake it off, or happened to have a surgeon father figure who unfortunately for this situation never explained how to do any of this. Well Dave wasn’t exactly sure Henry was a surgeon, but he did say he was a doctor and had spoken about doing them before.
Although Dave mostly saw him as one because of a strangely vivid dream he had of waking up on an operation table with his chest open, his heart in Henry’s hand and when he panicked Henry injecting him with something that ended the dream.
Back to the matter at hand, Dave had absolutely no idea how to help Jack at all. Although at the very least he knew he couldn’t help him here and thus decided to pick up a barely conscious Jack and carry him back to the Saferoom.
Dave propped Jack up on the pillow he had brought.
Fortunately sitting up was exactly what Jack needed because now that he was no longer on his back he could let the blood escape his mouth.
The tangerine broke into a violent coughing fit as Dave watched in horror, and then, as if he had done it before, he shakily reached up to his mouth and shoved his fingers to the back of it, activating his gag reflex and prompting him to puke up massive amounts of blood on the floor.
“S-sport…” Dave manages to stutter out, most definitely not having expected Jack to do that.
“I’m pretty much immortal so I should be able to survive this.-“ Jack says between heavy coughing. There’s a strange hissing sound coming from his bullet wound. “Without treatment probably. I’ll… I’ll still probably need you to… help… so I don’t die now.” Jack’s voice is fading as he collapses on his side, breathing heavily.
Dave sits him back up again and Jack immediately repeats the same process as earlier, puking up the blood filling his lungs.
“How can I help ya?” Dave says, uncomfortable with seeing Jack in such a pathetic condition.
“…cover… holes…” Jack manages to choke out, visibly getting weaker.
Dave stands up, scanning around the room for something to cover up the bullet wounds with.
His eyes land on a roll of duck tape. He snatches the tape off the table and presents it to Jack. “Will this do Old Sport?”
“…yeah… just… shirt… off…” Jack seems to be fading faster by the minute. Jack is ALMOST immortal, but not quite. He’s still quite killable but can survive more. If Dave doesn’t act soon he’ll really be gone. Dave isn’t sure what he’d do in a world devoid of Sportsy, they’d been together so long that having him die on him… no it’s best not to think about the worst case scenario. Jack WILL survive. 
Dave strips off Jack’s shirt, noticing the blood around the wound foaming. He wipes it aside with his sleeve then starts to apply the duck tape over the bullet wounds, adding probably far more tape than he needed.
Jack hacks up a little more blood and then lays back, breathing deeply. 
“That was a fucking close one.” Dave comments. 
“I’ll say.” Jack says flatly, still recovering. “Is this my pillow that went missing?”
“…no.”
“Sure it’s not. Stop breaking into my house.
“I don’t want to~” Dave purrs. “The fuck happened anyway how did you get shot?”
“It was the Candy the cat fucker. He broke in again and I didn’t have my taser on me because SOMEONE ate it, so I couldn’t stop him. He shot me, and then bolted. I don’t think he realized the gravity of what he was doing until then.”
“Sorry Sportsy…”
“For what? You just saved my miserable life. Ok maybe I don’t like the fact that I’m alive upon further consideration but I doubt I’d prefer being dead.”
“If I hadn’t eaten your taser none of this would have happened.”
“Yeah well it was honestly pretty funny and it’s more of a mild inconvenience once the bullet wounds are covered.” Jack shrugs, before wincing in pain.
“Still…” 
“I promise you I’m not mad. You’re forgiven. You just need to buy me a new taser.”
“Well if you’re happy I’m happy. You still haven’t gotten me food. I’m not a patient man, Old Sport.”
“I don’t want to stay here any longer than I have to…”
“Good then we can pick up some MacDongalds on the drive to your apartment.”
“…I take it that that’s your special way of inviting yourself to my home again?”
“Oh absolutely. I’ll never give up an opportunity to go home with my Old Sport, plus, you clearly can’t drive right now, and my home situation is… not one. I got evicted last week because all Fazbender’s pays is tokens and you shockingly can’t pay your rent in tokens.”
“Sure you can if you get a good landlord.”
“…Say Sportsy does that apartment building of yours have any places for sale?”
“Nope, looks like your stuck in the dumpsters Aubergine man.”
“):”
“Oh don’t be like that…”
“))))):”
“Fine you can stay in my apartment until you can get your own.”
“:D”
.
.
.
The two didn’t talk much on the drive to Jack’s apartment. They didn’t need to. Jack was resting, still shirtless, which Dave definitely didn’t mind- wait no, gay thoughts bad. Not right now. They both knew Dave wouldn’t need any directions to get to the apartment.
They stopped at McChungis where Jack ordered nothing but a small burger smothered in horseradish, and Dave ordered a truly unholy amount of fries and milkshakes. (McDangDangDanglds accepts fazcoin!)
Once they reached the apartment building and parked, Dave helped Jack limp up to the elevator, where they terrified a young woman with a child with both their mannerisms and Jack’s bullet wound.
They eventually get to Jack’s floor and find his room after some trial and error (Jack didn’t remember his room because it was a somewhat new place, he was running on adrenaline, and he was tired. Fortunately but creepily, Dave did.)
Once they get into the apartment, Jack sits down.
“So, what should we do now Spo-“ Dave is interrupted by the sound of Jack loudly snoring, now curled up on the couch.
Dave picks Jack up bridal style and brings him to his room, laying him down gently. 
Just as he’s about to walk away Jack pulls him back instinctively. Dave decides he’s tired anyway and he’s always up for anything that puts him closer to Jack, so he lays down beside him.
“I love you.” Dave mutters under his breath before falling asleep.
“I love you too…” Jack replies, it’s hard to say if he were awake or not.
(Note: Again, sincere apologies for this taking 100 years to make, please do give Reqs I’m just slow but I will get to them.
Well anyway I hope you enjoyed your Ouija brand Davesport with a side or bullet wounds!)
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@derrygirlstrash hello! So I saw your idea and I felt really inspired to write it!! So here you go! Hope you enjoy it, but also I’m going to apologise for my terrible attempt at trying to write characters from Derry, hopefully I used the Derry slang in right places and used them correctly, but sorry if I didn’t lol. It’s my first time attempting it and my first time writing something since March last year. And my first time writing anything Derry Girl related.
Anyway, enough about that, also big thanks to @sapphoren-is-my-drug for helping me with the bits I got stuck at :P I’ll probably also upload this to Ao3 later too :D
Derry Driving.
“Mammy please, someone’s gotta teach me how to do it,” Erin pleaded with her ma in the kitchen of the Quinn household.
“Aye and it won’t be me,” Mary replied as she cooked the family’s dinner for the night. Erin letting a huff of frustration out.
“What about daddy?” Erin asked, giving her dad a hopeful, pleading look.
“I’d love to sweetie, but I just don’t have the free time.”
“Why not? Why ye so busy?” Joe interjected.
“Because I have work Joe, what else do you think I do during the week?” Gerry asked.
“Nothing useful I bet, ye eejit,” he answered, Gerry just rolled his eyes and returned to reading the newspaper. He was lying however, he loved his daughter but he had heard horror stories from others who had attempted to teach her.
“So is there anyone here who can teach me how to drive?” Erin asked, she was getting desperate now.
“I can do it,” Joe chimed in. Anna was sitting on his lap, the two of them watching the tv together.
“Wise up Da, ye don’t even have a license anymore,” Mary spoke up before Erin could agree. She loved her Da but she knew he wasn’t the best person to teach Erin how to drive. “Oh I know who can teach ye.”
“Please do, because I’m all out of ideas Mammy.”
“Why not Kathy’s wain, he’s got his license,” Mary suggested, a hand on her hip and smile on her face as if it was the best idea since sliced bread.
Erin’s cheeks went the slightest shade of red at the suggestion. Instantly she was reminded of the kiss she shared with the wee English lad. Since then, the two of them hadn’t really progressed their relationship beyond being friends, though that was more her choice than his. But he was happy to wait until she was ready, that much she knew.
“Catch yourself on Mammy, James hasn’t even had his license for that long,” Erin scoffed. “I don’t think he’d even be allowed.”
“Well I don’t know who else can help, none of the driving instructors wanna help ye, on account that you’re terrible at driving.”
Erin gasped, did they all think that? Was she really that bad, her lip began to quiver a little. “Is that really what ye think Ma? That I’ll never be good enough to drive?”
“It’s not that Erin, it’s just… I just… I think ye need someone who…” Mary struggled to find the right words to explain to her daughter that she just didn’t have the patience or bravery to be in a car with her.
“No, it’s fine, I guess I’m just that much of a dose when it comes to driving,” Erin said, holding her head high, she wouldn’t forget this betrayal. “Well, seeing as James is my only option, can I call him?”
“Call him? At this time of night? Catch yourself on Erin, it’s far to expensive with everyone else making calls,” Mary answered.
“But Mammy, he’s my only choice now that ye don’t wanna help me,” she said, attempting to force some tears into her eyes.
“Aye, take pity on the poor critter Mary, she’s gotta learn some time ain’t she?” Joe chimed in. Mary sighed and Erin knew victory was in sight.
“I’ll be as quick as I can on the phone ma, promise!”
“Fine, but no more than ten minutes.”
“Ye the best Mammy,” Erin squealed with delight, running to give Mary a quick hug before running off to get on the phone.
“Lord give me strength,” Mary muttered under her breath.
Erin stood in the hallway of the Quinn family home, phone pressed to her ear, eagerly waiting for someone from the Mallon house to answer. After a few rings, someone finally answered.
“Aye, what ye want?” The familiar voice of Michelle answered.
“Michelle, evening, is James around?”
“JAMES? What ye wanting to speak to that dicko for?” Her friend yelled down the phone, Erin having to hold the phone away from her ear for a brief moment in an effort to protect herself from going deaf.
“I need his help with something.”
“Oh ye do, do ye? And what can that English perv help ye with?”
“I need his help with me driving, no one around here wants to help me with it.”
“Driving? Is that code for wanting to ride him? I forbid it Erin, it’s incest!” Michelle exclaimed loudly. Erin rolled her eyes, she and James hadn’t done anything close to romantic since their first kiss some time ago now.
“Catch yourself on Michelle, I need him to teach me how to drive a car as no one else in Derry wants to, not even the driving instructors.”
“Oh that’s bad craic Erin, bad craic indeed.”
“Aye I know, so please can you put James on the phone, I don’t have long till Mammy forces me to hang up.”
“Arch, fine… Oi dickhead! Phone call for ye!” Michelle yelled through the Mallon house. Erin guessed Michelle’s Ma and Da were out for the evening.
Rather quickly she heard James’ footsteps approaching.
“Who is it?”
“It’s the pope ye dick.”
“The pope?”
“Of course it ain’t the pope ye eejit, it’s Erin, she’s got something to ask ye, now don’t go being a perv or I’ll have to smack ye into next week.”
“Erin, hi, how are you?” The familiar English accent of her friend spoke, his voice totally not sending butterflies to her stomach.
“James, I’m cracker. I need a favour though.”
“Oh? What do you need?” He asked, sounding genuinely eager to help her with her problem.
“Well ye see, I need… could you… I need someone to teach me how to drive ye see.”
“Teach you to drive? Why me? I mean I’m flattered you’d ask me, but isn’t that why driving teachers exist?”
“Well, funny you say that, apparently none of them wanna teach me? Can ye believe that craic?”
He could believe it actually, but he wouldn’t tell her that.
“No, that’s rather strange.”
“Aye, but anyway, will ye be my hero?”
“Of course, for you, anything,” he said with a playful tone, but he couldn’t see the reaction it was giving her cheeks, she could feel the heat rising through her face.
“Cracker! I owe ye big time James, I do.”
“Nonsense Erin, it’s what friends are for isn’t it? Besides if you know how to drive I won’t have to help Michelle.”
“I heard that ye dicko, ye on yer way to earning a slap!” Erin heard Michelle yell out. She couldn’t help but smile.
“Well if I pass me test, I’ll take you out for an ice cream? That’d be class wouldn’t it?”
“Yeah, that’d be great Erin, so when do you want to do this?”
“How’s tomorrow sound? Say round ten in the mornin?”
“Yeah that works for me. Whose car would we use?” James asked. “I’m sure I could convince my aunt to let me borrow theirs.”
“Ach don’t worry bout it, I’m sure I can convince daddy to let me use his.”
“Alright, it’s sorted then, I’ll meet you at yours for ten then.”
“Aye, ye made me delighted, so I am,” she said, her face beaming with a smile.
“Alright, times up missy, now saunter,” Mary said, walking into the hallway.”
“Gotta go now James, say bye to Michelle for me would ye.”
“Sure thing, see you tomorrow,” he replied before the line went dead.
“So it’s sorted then?” Mary asked inquisitively.
“Aye Mammy, but I’m gonna need to borrow daddy’s car tomorrow… if I can… please…”
“Of course ye can.”
“Thanks Mammy,” Erin said happily and hugged Mary.
“Yer welcome, now get to the kitchen, dinners almost ready.”
The rest of the evening flew by for Erin and before she knew it, it was nearing ten in the morning. She chalked it down to being excited about getting to learn how to drive properly, with someone that would take the time to help her, unlike all those who thought it was too much of a hassle. Time definitely didn’t fly by because she was excited to spend time with the wee English fella, definitely not.
Quickly she went and checked the time on the big clock, almost ten she saw. A moment later she heard the knocking at the door and raced towards it, swinging it open to be greet by the comforting sight of curly hair and green eyes with a warm smile to boot.
“James, how are ye?”
“I’m good, thanks for asking, how are you? Ready to start driving?”
“Am I ever! I’m going with James now Mammy!” Erin yelled back into the house.
“Okay, watch yourself now,” Mary called back.
“So what’s the plan?” Erin asked as she closed the front door and walked with James to her daddy’s car.
“Well I was thinking I could take you to a quieter road or maybe a car park that isn’t being used, might make it easier without other drivers around to bring out any nerves,” he replied as they reached the car, Erin handing him the keys.
“Aye, that’s cracker James, maybe you ought to be a driving instructor?” She said and she got into the passenger seat at the same time as he got into the drivers seat.
“I have a feeling not many people around here would want an English man telling them what to do, even if it is how to drive a car.”
“Aye, you’re probably right.”
James proceeded to drive them to a car park in town, the two of them making easy conversation, luckily for them it was relatively empty, only a small handful of cars taking up some of the spaces, it would do perfectly for their first lesson.
“Alright, let’s swap seats,” James said, exiting the car. He waited until Erin was at the drivers side and in the seat, shutting the door for her before quickly walking over and getting into the passenger seat. “So first I have to ask, have you actually done any driving before.”
“Yes… well actually not really, ye see I’ve never managed to get it out of first gear. I always be stalling the car, so I do.”
“Right, okay, turn the car on then,” he instructed and she did as instructed. “Now, the trick is to let your foot slowly lift off the clutch until you feel it bite.”
“Bite? What ye mean let it bite?” Erin asked, but as she asked she let her foot lift from the clutch, causing the car to lurch forward, lucky the hand brake was still engaged, preventing them from moving. Erin let out a squeal. “Ach, you must think I’m a right eejit.”
“Hardly,” he said, sounding rather calm she thought. “Took me multiple attempts before I stopped stalling. Let’s try again, but slowly lift your foot, once you feel the car wanting to move forward, gently press down on the accelerator,” he said gently, she smiled nervously at him, how was he so calm? Normally the driving instructor would be yelling at her by now.
Turning the key in the ignition again, the car revved to life. Taking a breath she thought on his words, softly spoken and calm, calm, that’s what she needed to be. Gently she began to lift her foot off the clutch, thinking in his words and to feel when the car wanted to move forward. She felt it, she began to smile and gently pushed her foot down on the accelerator. If the hand brake wasn’t engaged, she was sure they’d be moving.
“I did it!” She squealed in delight, clapping her hands. But in her excitement, her foot lifted from the clutch, causing the car to stall and lurch forward once again. “Fuck, shite, I’m sorry.”
James couldn’t help but laugh. “It’s fine Erin, want to try it again but with the handbrake off?”
“Absolutely, so I do, this is cracker James, you’re pretty good at this teaching thing,” she said, flashing him a smile. She could’ve sworn she saw his cheeks flaring up a little at the compliment.
“Yeah… um… right, let’s try this again, we’ll just try to move into that next space across from us,” he said, pointing to the parking space right in front of them.
“Right,” Erin nodded and turned the car on again. Once again she followed what James had told her. But the car wasn’t moving. “It’s not moving James!”
“You have to put the handbrake back down,” he told her.
“Oh, right, so I do, well I’m broke,” she laughed nervously.
“Ah it’s okay, it happens, here I’ll help,” he said, reaching for the handbrake. But as he did, so did she without seeing. Their hands soon collided. They were always so warm, his hands, it’s why she always wanted to grab them when she was having a cack attack.
“Sorry, go ahead,” he told her, pulling his hands back and placing them in his lap.
“Right,” she nodded, the car still running, she disengaged the handbrake and once again, she lifted her left foot until she felt the car bite, but this time it started moving forward, albeit, very slowly. So gently she pushed down with her right foot, the car very slowly gaining speed. “I did it! I actually did it!” Erin exclaimed happily.
“Congratulations,” James said proudly. “Now, the more you lift your foot off the clutch, the more you put your foot down on the accelerator, I hope I’m making sense.”
“Aye, I think I get ye,” she replied honestly. This driving thing wasn’t so bad after all she thought.
“Okay, now stop,” James instructed as they reached the next spot.
“Ach, why stop now, I think I’ve got the hang of it.”
“Okay, only if you’re sure, let’s try moving into second gear,” he said. “You know how to do that?”
“Aye, I think so, move the stick thingy into the number two spot yeah?”
“Yep, that’s it. We’ll stick two staying in second gear for now,” he said gently, his eyes then went wide. “Um Erin, you need to turn now.”
“Turn, what ye mean?”
“The steering wheel, turn it!” He said, a little more panicked. His slightly panicking made her panic too.
“Shit! We’re gonna crash!” Erin cried as they approached the small stone wall. “James help!”
Quickly James grabbed onto the steering wheel; attempting to turn it, but Erin’s hands had gripped it with vice-like strength. So he went for the next best option and yanked the handbrake up. But by then it was too late, sure they weren’t going fast, but fast enough that her daddy’s car gently hit the stone wall as the car lurched forward as it stalled, due to Erin not putting her foot back down on the clutch as the car came to a stop.
“Shit, shit, shit! Oh no, me Mammys gonna kill me now. I’m such an eejit, I’ve ruined daddy’s car!” Erin began to sob.
“Hey, it’s alright, I think it was just the bumper, likely there isn’t any damage as we hit it with a very low speed,” James said, hoping to make her feel better about the tiny little accident. It didn’t work, she continued to cry.
He gently put a hand on her shoulder, rubbing it in a comforting manner.
“It’ll be alright Erin, if anyone notices I’ll tell them it was me that caused the damage,” he said, his green eyes looking into hers as she turned to look at him.
“You’d do that? For me? Wise up James, no one would ever believe that.” He shrugged his shoulders.
“Well they can’t prove you did it either. You know, you did really well, like really really well, especially for someone who's never gotten it out of first gear before.”
“Ye really think that?” She said, her tears slowly subsiding.
“I really do,” he replied, his smile making her feel warm and safe. She saw his hand raising up towards her cheek, she wasn’t sure what he was planning to do with it. But before she could think about it anymore, his thumb gently wiped away a tear. She practically leaned her head into his soft warm hand.
“There, all better?” He asked. His eyes looking into hers, deeply looking into hers. She smiled at him and before one could say fuckadoodle do, they leaned and and their lips were pressing against each other again.
A wave of feelings crashed through them, memories of their first kiss rushing through their minds, though this time it was James who had her cheeks gently placed into his hands. And it was James who began to deepen the kiss.
Erin felt over the moon, here she was, snogging one of her best friends. She knew she should stop, she knew she shouldn’t be kissing James, Michelle’s cousin. But she didn’t want to, she had never felt this happy, her stomach felt like it was literally doing back flips inside of her and in an attempt to deepen this kiss, she opened her mouth ever so slightly, with James leaning further over to her side.
But suddenly there was the loud, disturbing and distracting sound of the car's horn beeping loudly. In an attempt to allow James to deepen this kiss, she had accidentally leant on the car's horn. And in her fright, she accidentally bit down on James’ bottom lip as she pulled herself back.
“Shit! Oh fuck, ow!” James cried out as he fell back.
“James! Shit, I’m so sorry, shit! I’m such an eejit!” Erin yelled. She had gone from feeling on top of the world to absolute crap in the span of seconds. Across from her, James sat, holding his lip in pain as it bled out, she just hoped he was okay and that no blood had gotten on to the seats, her Mammy would kill her.
In a panic, she took off her jumper and shoved it into James lap.
“Use it to stop blood from getting everywhere. Shit, I’m so sorry James.”
“It’s okay, really,” he said, as he gladly took her jumper which just happened to be red as well and held it up to his lip that was bleeding profusely. But as much as it hurt, he couldn’t help but laugh.
“It’s not funny James,” Erin cried. She was feeling broke to the bone again and just plain awful.
“No, it really is okay, you didn’t do it on purpose,” he said, trying to make her feel better. “We must be destined to having something loud interrupt us when we kiss, I’m just glad it wasn’t Michelle this time,” he said with a light teasing tone.
“I… I guess ye right,” she replied and sighed. “I think, I don’t think we’re ready for this yet.”
“Yeah, I think so too, but I’ll still wait for you,” he said, gently taking her hand into his.
“I know ye will James, I know ye will. One day though, one day,” she said and smiled at him.
“Yeah, one day. I think we should head back now though.”
“No, not yet, can ye… can we stay like this, just a little longer?” She asked, enjoying how his thumb was gently caressing over the top of her hand.
“For you Erin, I would do anything.”
Fin
Hope you all enjoyed it!
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manuedws · 2 years
Text
Too late to apologize - part 3
Too late to apologize - part 3
part 2 here
She still had a lot to do before she got back on the road : She had to erase the evidences on her own phone,  and have the two morons who were leering at her evilly do her a little favor. She shot them a quick glance with a small smirk, then focused on her phone again. 
She took a deep breath then made a backup of her messaging application, and sent this backup to the drive of a secondary gmail account, an account that she deleted from her phone once the upload was done.
Another glance in direction to the two guys to make them wait a little more. 
She went up in the conversation with Lily and erased the moments when it was question of the blood bond which united them.   Then she clicked on HIS name, and their last messages  showed up : 
- "You must get out immediately, a fire has broken out. - Jake ?  - Please tell me everything's ok - I'm coming to get you."
Then she wrote a last sentence   :
- "Contact on avali's forum"
She was feeling so much pain, it was torture not to know if he was alive, if he was out of the mine …. She knew he would surely not forgive her,  but she was ready to do anything to keep him alive.   
- "Mc  - I love you  - I love you too Jake"
She selected all the lines and as she clicked on the  'delete' button, a tear ran down her cheek. It was a piece of her heart that disappeared with those words.
With trembling hands, she scrolled the conversation up and erased all traces of their feelings for each other until nothing was left …
- "I'm sorry" ,she said in a whisper.
It took her some minutes to catch back control. "The show must go on", she thought.
She quiclky took a look at the two guys while she sipped the rest of her coffee, and stirred her empty paper cup, knowing It was only a matter of time before the two of  them came to her. She focused again on her phone , and logged to the dark forum and wrote a quick message,  which she left in the drafts :
- "On my way to Duskwood, I'm going to clear the exit of the mines, hold on" 
'Out of coffee?', Said the dark-haired guy, with a fake smile, handing her a cup, while sitting in front of her.
She took the coffee,  looking at him right into his eyes, which seemed to unsettle him. He continued : 
- "You looked completely desperate when you came in earlier, and I  am not one to give up on a pretty girl in need "
The other guy also comes and sits at the table but stands back, it seemed like they had agreed on who was going to try to hit on her.  She replied with a few words,  encouraging him to continue the conversation. The tall guy was talking about his car, his job, his second home With a view of the beach … blah blah blah . In accordance with what she had heard previously, the two men were heading towards the sea, in the opposite direction to her destination.  At first glance, she had already found him unpleasant and uninteresting, but  at the sight of the wedding ring on his finger, and hearing his stupid spiel, she classified him in the category of big assholes.
It was very difficult for her to seem interested, especially since she had to unpack the disposable phone and send the FBI on the wrong track. 
The phone was half charged, which seemed to be more than enough, so she put it on silent and entered a random lock code. She didn't need to remember it, it was just extra security in case the phone was found more quickly than expected.
Then she wrote a simple text message to her personal phone number  : 
 "I'm fine, I would have liked to meet you in Duskwood, but it's too crowded ;) so i had to leave. I will contact you soon. Jake :)"
  then she scheduled the message to be sent  in an hour. 
The phone was old, but she didn't need a smartphone. She didn't plan to use the messaging app they had been using to communicate. She wanted to send a simple text message, a text message that will not pass through the internet network, but mobile network , and which could be easily and quickly traced. Satisfied, she slipped that old phone in the back pocket of her jeans.
She apologized to the two men : she was awaited, and had to leave. Disappointed at first , the tall brunette reiterated the  invitation to join them for a few days of heavenly vacation, to which she replied that she would think about it. 
-"show me your car" , she asked him suddenly, while giggling.
The guy wouldn't have missed this opportunity for anything in the world and as  the three of them headed towards his car, he thought he had won the game.
She pretended to be impressed,  asked to sit in, and while she was faking enjoying the leather under her fingers, she slipped discreetly the phone between the backrest and the seat.
Finally, after giving the guy a fake phone number, she got back to her own car, relieved, "Bon voyage" She sneered, when she saw the two guys were already leaving the highway station.
MC made the rest of the journey without stopping and  décided to immediately go to  the waterfalls as soon as she reached Duskwood.She was strangely calm.
There were many vehicles, including police and emergency vehicles parked on the side of the road.  She parks her own car slightly back, and took a look at her phone : 
There was one text message, which she immediately transferred to a number not saved on her mobile, but which she knew by heart. She put on her big black jacket and pulled the zip up to her chin before taking the narrow path leading to the waterfall.
It was 11 p.m, it was completely dark and she was progressing with a firm and determined step  by the light of her flashlight and guided by the sound of  voices she was hearing in the distance. She felt like she had been walking for hours, her pulse racing, the lump in her stomach felt like she was gasping for air. Finally she emerged at the edge of a large clearing, in which reigned a great commotion. 
She had been walking in the dark for several minutes, so her eyes had a little trouble adjusting to the brightness of the numérous spotlights that illuminated every millimeter of the area.
 In addition to firefighters, there were also heavily armed military personnel, dog handlers, local police and of course the FBI. Everyone was recognizable by their outfit. Near the waterfall, she saw a man in his forties whom she immediately identified without having ever seen him before as Alan  Bloomgate. 
Further to the right, men were busy around something. She blinked several times before she could identify the form. With horror, she réalised It was a large black bag. 
Everything was jostling in her head, she had to see, she had to be sure it wasn't him, lying in that bag.  She started running across the clearing without hearing the injunctions to stop, or  Alan yelling at the soldiers to lower their weapons. His two powerful arms intercepted her  and prevented her from going any further to approach the body. She struggled, trying to continue on her way to the corpse, but the cop was holding her tight and was way much stronger than her. He yelled at her that she needed to calm down, and that it wasn't her friend in the bag. Somehow, he recognized her as soon as he saw her. 
When he had managed to get her attention, he explained that it was a firefighter who had gotten into the cave to try to limit the fire, but he had been surrounded by flames. His colleagues had succeeded in getting him out of the mine,  but unfortunately it was too late. The man died a few minutes later.  Richie had been discovered unconscious at the entrance of the cave, he had been taken to the hospital immediately, his vital prognosis was not engaged. He added that no one else seemed to have been in the mine. 
She was nervously rubbing her feet, digging furrows in the ground. Looking at her, he found her pretty, her face was soft, her curves feminine, and despite the obvious state of confusion in which she was, he could see in her her strength and her determination. He was waiting for the right moment to ask her to confirm what he had deduced from the behavior of the young woman : There was someone else of mine, Someone who mattered to her.
- "Why the fuck are you here ?"
sounded a loud voice behind them. She turned back to face a man with a closed face, dressed in a formal black suit, and shrugged at his sight.
- " Do you already know Mc ?"
Alan asked , obviously very annoyed. The FBI was starting to get on his nerves. After all, he hadn't called them, and it was bad enough that they showed up and took over, embarking on an all-out manhunt. Almost all of the city's workforce had been requisitioned to pursue a fugitive of whom he knew nothing. 
And now... Looks like they've already interviewed the main witness in Hannah Donfort's case. 
- "MC ? You have already become so close? "
Laughed the fed,  and then turning to Alan, he said to him :
- “So it is  useless for me to introduce you to our probie :  Special Agent MARTINS, from the  Cybercrime Office”
part 4
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givethemsmut · 3 hours
Text
Dom Mysterio x Reader
Tumblr media
Smut
Friends to Lovers
Flash backs coming up!
I don’t own WWE characters, it’s all for fun
Not edited (once I upload everything from my phone I’ll do a read through 🙌🏻)
Chapter Four | Where it all started…
I didn’t question how Dom got from the airport to the house we grew up in when I ordered my own Uber. In the car I texted Angie, his mom, letting her know he knew. I also told her about Raw and the disaster it was. 
Dom knew and was making everyone pay for it.
Me: I’m gonna stop by for some clothes but then I’ll grab a hotel room.
Angie: No, you aren’t. You’re coming home for the holidays. Dom can be pissed, we did what we had to. He’s only upset because he’s in love with you.
Me: It’s just like Rey said, you don’t find forever at Seventeen. 
Angie: And what if you did?
I didn’t respond to her last text when I focused on the sun peeking out. Pulling into the driveway I contemplated how I felt for Dom. He was easily the best person I knew but I couldn’t get past not being good enough for him. He deserved so much better than me.
He didn’t even know why his family took me in. Only his parents knew and they promised to keep it secret. 
Ringing the bell, Angie pulled me into her arms and squeezed me like she missed me. Hugging her back I let myself feel loved the way they tried for years. 
“Go get some sleep. It’s early. Your room is untouched.”
Taking her advice I crawled into my old bed in nothing more than panties begging Dom would pity me enough to simply ignore me if he picked up round two in my room.
Once I woke up I dragged myself to my feet, padding my way to the shared bathroom from our youth. Still yawning and stretching I didn’t realize the shower was on until I heard Dom moan. 
It was an unmistakable sound that had lived rent free in my head long after our first time. It was the perfect amount of breathy and demanding that instantly had me wet. “Fuck, I’m so hard.”
I stopped in my tracks when I realized he wasn’t alone. His iPhone was propped up on the shower shelf and the way he was breathing I could tell his hand was touching himself. My breath hitched in my throat when I slowly backed out of the bathroom.
Standing in the doorway I listened to Dom keep moaning while his hand choked himself. “Show me how wet you are,” he barely said above a whisper and I felt my knees weakened. I wanted nothing more than to open the shower door and slip inside with him but he needed to hate me to move on. We couldn’t keep falling into bed and get over each other too.
Tempted I touched my own panties, savagely teased by the outline of his toned muscles.
I rummaged through my clothes for a hoodie and some sweats. I needed space, I needed my world to stop revolving around him for a few seconds. So I did what anyone else would do, actually go home. My real home.
I lived on the same street as Dominik, only my father was ruthless and my mother was submissive unlike his parents. Maybe enough time passed where we could make up, start over, forgive each other.
I couldn’t have been more wrong.
At first it was going well… until I voiced my endless debt for Dom’s family taking me in. That led to another fight and that fight ended the same way… with my father’s fist colliding with my face. 
It wasn’t exactly like the first time… 
Rey knew we were friends and saw my bruises. He asked Dominik to have me over for dinner and when they could get me alone they asked me for the truth. No questions later I was living with him and sharing a bathroom with Dom.
Nursing my bloody nose and already swelling eye I waited until it was late enough to sneak in without being seen by anyone. Especially Dominik. 
Collecting my things in my duffle bag, whatever I left behind thinking this was home and left what used to be my room barren I tiptoed into the bathroom to clean out my medicine cabinet. Swallowing some Advil with my handful of faucet water I choked them back. 
The door creaked open and Dom leaned against the door frame in the dark. There was no way he could see me, not in the pitch black.
Keeping my head down I ignored him, filling my makeup bag with anything I didn’t want to leave behind. 
“It doesn’t feel good hurting you.”
“It’s fine, Dom. I deserve it.”
Sighing, he stepped closer, running his hands through his hair. “I have been in love with you since I met you. When you asked me to take your virginity, all I wanted was for you to give me a chance.”
“Your dad said it best: no one finds forever at that age. I was living with your family, I owe them everything for taking me in. I had no one else, Dom. You have no idea what it was like at home. I couldn’t betray them by loving their son. I couldn’t be the person you fell for just to disappoint everyone when I didn’t live up to the demand.”
Coming even closer, I could tell he was trying not to reach out and touch me. “My family loves you. You are family.”
“Exactly. I couldn’t lose them,” I clapped back when I turned around without thinking.
Dom’s hands cupped my face, holding me in his hands and demanding to know what happened. “Who did this? What the fuck happened?”
He wasn’t going to let it go or be okay with a lie. “I thought I could finally go home. Guess daddy dearest wasn’t ready to forgive me.”
Dominik stormed out of the bathroom, chasing after him. I grabbed my hoodie and ran after him begging him to stop. His fists were clenched and when he slammed on his parent’s door I wanted to disappear. “You fucking knew and didn’t tell me? That’s why you took her in? Because her dad was beating her?” Rey was in his boxer briefs half asleep with the door cracked enough to hear his son’s rant. “Why didn’t you fucking do something? You’re a fucking fighter.”
“Dom. Dominik. Go cool off, we’ll talk tomorrow.”
Pushing the door open on his dad it felt like the live event all over again. “Just like her getting pregnant? You kept vital information from me.”
“Son. Don’t do this. She’s been through enough.”
“And I was kept in the dark. I told you not to fuck with my family. She’s my family, not anyone else, her. Why is he still breathing? Why isn’t he in jail?”
Rey dropped his head trying to stay silent. “She asked me not to. That’s why. She had been abused her whole life and didn’t want to be the girl who survived, she wanted to live.”
“How the fuck could we live on the same street as him. You just took her in, no questions asked and expected me not to love her? You knew how much I fell for her. You fucking walked in on losing our virginities. How the fuck could you not tell me she got pregnant.” Pushing his dad with so much force I gasped before stepping closer.
Interrupting, I touched Dom’s chest pleading. “Dom please. Please, come to bed. I’ll explain. Just leave your parents out of it.”
His head jerked in my direction, seething with anger. “Come to bed? And what, pretend it’s okay for one night? Every time I fuck your it ruins me.” Squinting down at me he forced my face in his dad’s direction. “She tried to go home because she thought she had to choose between family and me. So she never did until I ruined shit. You guys let her go home to get beat. You could have stopped him a long time ago.”
“Dominik, what did you want us to do?”
“What I’m gonna do.” Dominik already had skinny jeans and a graphic tee on when he jogged down the stairs and made his way to my childhood home. 
Running after him in a long hoodie and panties I pulled on him so hard he had no choice but to stop. “Don’t do this. Getting arrested isn’t worth it. Losing your career isn’t worth it. I don’t regret him hitting me. It brought me here. I’m begging you, Dom. Just leave this alone and I’ll do anything.”
Towering over me his lips moved dangerously close to mine. “You know what I want. Are you agreeing?”
Shaking my head yes I let the tears fall. “Just come to bed.” Walking by his parents I apologized, keeping my face down and repenting for the trouble.
“Mija, don’t be sorry. Your family.” Rey squeezed my arm. 
Pushing Dom into my room, closing the door and locking it I pulled the hoodie off. Dom’s body barely moved, hovering next to mine. “We don’t have to do this right now. You got me back inside.”
“There’s rules…” I slipped out of my panties before standing up straight against the door completely naked.
Looking down at my naked body his tongue swiped his lips. His hands grasped my hips, “okay. Rules. Tell me the rules.” 
Dragging his hands up my body to my breasts I gasped. “Dom.”
“Baby the rules. Need the rules,” his chest was pounding and his voice was breathy. 
His fingers pinched my nipples playfully, “You have to call and text everyday.” I bit down a moan trying to stay strong, “No other girls. And we have to take it slow.”
“I want to come inside you…” his voice trailed off when I pulled the shirt over his head and he kissed my mouth so gently it felt unreal.
Slipping his tongue inside my mouth I undid his jeans and prayed for him to take them off quickly before I changed my mind. I was nervous when our hands laced together, both naked in the middle of my room, butterflies filling my stomach the same way when he first fucked me.
“Dom, wait, wait…” my body was being pulled into his hips trying to clash while his mouth kissed my neck. I was so wet that I wasn’t even sure it would feel good when I made my last confession. “No one’s been inside me since you… the guys and dates, it was just so you could hate me.”
“This is my pussy? Say it, Mami.” 
Shaking my head yes Dominik lifted me up into his arms, walking over to the bed and ending up on top of me. “No one but you.”
“Fuck baby. I’m so fucking hard right now.” The second his palms held my thighs up I felt him slip inside me. Every inch rubbed up against every nerve, forcing my hips to grind against him and my whimpers to be uncontrollable. 
“Dom,” I whimpered when he went too deep, hitting parts of me that screamed. 
Lowering down over me, pinning my legs at his hips, and covering my neck in lazy kisses. “Relax, mi amor, I know how to make you feel good.”
Dominik wasn’t lying. Every slip up we had ended in earth shattering orgasms and the lingering desire for more. When he touches me everything writers for him even more.
“I’m scared of messing it up,” I whispered into his chest as his thrusts picked up speed. 
His hands smoothed down my face and body weight sat on his elbows. “You can’t mess it up when we haven’t even tried.” Moaning into my mouth our tongues swiped at each other. “Let me take care of you. Let me love you.”
“Dominik, Dom. I’m close,” I whimpered into his mouth when his out of breath chest heaved against mine.
“Don’t come yet baby. Me vuelves loca, mi amore.” The way he spoke Spanish made my pussy only get tighter as he thrusted his way inside me over and over. Every inch of him was covered in my arousal by the time I felt my body tensed. “I’m gonna come, Mami.”
He didn’t have to tell me, I could feel the way he pulsed and jerked inside me. Our bodies drove each other crazy and the way we came shook through us.
Dom was off for two weeks for the holidays which was unheard of. Ever since he skyrocketed to the main roster of WWE Dom was never home.
Waking up cuddled up into Dom’s arm was surreal. It felt like a dream but it had been true. Turning into me his lips found mine before he even opened his eyes. “Do you regret it yet?”
His body was pressed again mine, every inch of him stiffening up. “Do you hear that?” Pausing we both listened when it became clear as day. It was his mom and dad having sex. We broke out into a fit of laughter trying to unheard  our own payback.
“Let’s show them how it’s done, baby.” Helping me into his lap I straddled him as he sat up against the headboard. “Come here,” he whispered before our tongues wrestled in between our mouths.
Pushing my hips up I felt Dom’s knuckles graze my puffy pussy as he guided himself inside me. I held my breath with every inch I sat down on until I exhaled a quiet moan. “That’s it baby girl. Goddamn, that feels good.”
Slowly rocking my hips and crushing my clit against his body I started to shake all over. My legs vibrated and my heart was racing as Dominik’s hands cupped my ass, picking up my pace.
“I want as much of you as I can before I have to leave for Raw.”
His confession felt like a brick dropping through my stomach. He was leaving and I wouldn’t be with him. Even if we got pregnant in some dangerous game of fixing the problems we had I would be pregnant and alone all over again.
His mouth found my neck, my chest, and sucked my hard nipples into his mouth. His tongue bullied my nippled in his mouth and I gasped trying not to come right then and there. 
“Do you know how many times I touched myself to this? How many times have I came all over toys just imagining riding you?” I couldn’t believe it was happening. “Dom. I’m close.”
His hips started to push back and his hands only grabbed onto my hips tighter. “Fuck, mi amore. I’m gonna come inside you.”
Leaning into him, my nipples scrapping his chest and my mouth colliding with his neck I whispered, “Come inside my pussy papi. I want it so bad.”
His face turned into mine as my hips bucked into his lap and all of his inside of me felt hard enough to get hurt on. “Oh my god. It’s so hard,” I purred into him.
“Mi amore, me estoy corriendo,” his breathy voice only made me wetter as his grip held me in place from rolling my hips anymore. Trying to grind myself over our matching orgasms his grip got tighter. “Don’t move baby, don’t move.” He groaned out against my shoulder, wrapping his arms around my waist and moaning out loud. 
“Dom. Dominik.” Trying to catch my breath I shook on top of Dom when he relaxed back into the headboard. 
Pushing me down next to him he got between my wet legs, both of our orgasms coating my pussy. “I wanna taste you, hermosa. I wanna know what you taste like after I make you come.”
Dom’s tongue licked my pussy and I writhed against the bed. I gasped and moaned without realizing I might have been too loud. “Dom, oh my god, Dom I can’t.”
The way Dominik licked every sensitive part of me without trying had my body shaking. I felt like I couldn’t breath and my legs were going to fall off. “Can’t what baby? Come in my mouth for me?”
My back arched and my head tossing back as his tongue slipped inside me. My entire body was shaking when my knees automatically closed around his head as it rolled up me. 
Landing next to me he pulled me into him as I barely recovered. “I love the way you taste. I love everything about you. I actually have a confession too…” I clamped my eyes closed only for a second hoping it wasn’t Rhea related. “I knew you wouldn’t let it happen again so I set up cameras in our condo that night. I have the video of us fucking. That’s what gets me through being without you, on the road, everything.”
“Dom!” I playfully hit his shoulder. “I want to see…” 
“I had someone edit for me so it’s not so bad when the cameras switch between each other. Reaching for the night stand he realized his phone was still in his room when he poured out of bed. Pushing his pants on he went through the shared bathroom before coming back. 
Handing me his phone I started getting nervous. “I’m gonna shower, hermosa. You watch.” Rolling onto my stomach and pushing into my elbows I placed the phone against a pillow and pressed play.
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keefwho · 3 months
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January 16 - 2024 Tuesday
10:59pm
5.5/10
This morning I took my last shower at my parents. They weren't home so I was able to blast the GDQ stream over my phone while I got clean. For breakfast all I ate was a can of spaghettios warmed up by the heater so I could produce as few dishes as possible. I made and uploaded a few avatar pics as well.
In stream I warmed up with Ena sketches again. Then I worked on the big nanachi commission. A few of them had joined to watch and were apparently in a Discord call. They were fun to have in chat. I wanted to keep streaming when I was done but I had other things to move on to. After stream I took an hour to focus on cleaning up the place now that I got hot water back. I wiped down the sink/mirror, kitchen, and fireplace. Also removed some boxes and stuff laying around and vacuumed very thoroughly. I did this instead of jerking off which I regret.
Lunch was some really good rice a roni. It's cooking time ate into my afternoon work time and instead of wait until it was done cooking, I started my work anyways. I did half of a request before it was done cooking, I ate, and then I finished that request while in Ena's server VC. Then I worked on a Hitch x Misty pic for an hour and almost finished it. I left the call to do my yoga which was hard since I missed a few days and they tend to get harder as they go on. Then I moved onto my project which is when Daisy became free. Once again I think I need to step back and start over with what I'm doing, I didn't have as much of a plan as I needed. We watched a really rough episode of Bojack tonight and then continued our pony text adventure. I found it very hard to be creative with it tonight as much as I wanted to. We did that until bedtime which I played Kingdom Hearts during. Had some frustrating battles but I got through them.
I once again put on my MarsMiner persona and it works great, it just feels easier to do what I gotta do without the complications of how I 'feel' or what I 'think'. That can be saved for the appropriate times. I don't feel like I did the best job enjoying my free time though, I still felt a need to perform. I was also very horny today since I finally have the facilities back to clean up properly but instead I did my chores and chose not to stay up late to do it. I know better than to let those kinds of feelings make decisions.
2:11am
I woke up to jerk off because I couldn't ignore it. I really gotta listen to my body more. It's only natural to be sexual. I'm always hesitant to talk about it like it's an important thing in my life because there can be so much shame in being too sexually active even though there shouldn't be. It's not even a huge thing for me, not like it is for some people I know. But still I feel like I should never talk about it or if I do, I can't treat it like it's important. In this case it was important because my body needed it and I had to interrupt my sleep for it. I should have taken care of it earlier instead of keeping it at the bottom of my priority list. This is like a self care thing for me, I gotta do this for myself.
On another note I had some crazy deep post nut shower thoughts about my life and my past and what it all means to me. Sometimes I wish I could individually talk to everyone in my life that isn't here anymore for what feels like no reason. Like all the people I feel like should still be there. It feels like there's been so many. Maybe I can talk to some of them and just be open about feeling bad about how it all went. All I really want is closure, but I also can't bank on ever getting it. Closure might mean re-adjusting to what life actually is now instead of dreaming about what it could have been. I often find myself living a different reality and it holds me back so much.
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