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planetjisungie · 4 years

Text

détester- l.dh

characters; slytherin! haechan x gryffindor! reader ft. gryffindor! mark (its just a given at this point) and slytherin! jisung

summary; enemies to lovers, you and donghyuck had always just hated eachother. you dont know when it started, or why it started but it was starting to get annoying.

an; i WILL finish my hogwarts series tonight we only have chenle left but now we have more fluff than actual crack because simon says is playing

congratulations you have reached gryffindor level you lucky prick

only the finest gryffindor

you are the embodiment of courage, literally if there was a ditch and someone fell down while everyone was too scared to help them, youd dive in before they could even say ‘dumbledore’

and you just so happen to be the younger sister of mark lee

the infamous mark lee,, that is

lucky prick part 2

but one thing made you seem not so lucky

your sworn enemy, lee donghyuck

or haechan as he liked to be called because apparently all evil villains needed a fake name

thats what you said anyway, he just liked the name haechan for its meaning

but he was also the emodiment of a slytherin, ambitious, cunning, resourceful and he was a pretty damn good leader

hence him being the captain of the quidditch team (no we are not going down the jisung route)

you didnt actually know when you started hating him, in your first year he had just decided to tie your poor, poor cat like a pig for roasting (he was in his second year already)

mr snuggles was traumatized

after that day it was small things to annoy you

like when he put hair dye in your conditioner bottle, resulting in your hair turning out a seafoam green colour

which you actually didnt mind so the joke was really on him, you pulled that shit off

or when he put spiders in your school shoes

that was unpleasant

and he also put a cockroach in your pocket, scaring your poor best friend who was terrified of the creatures

jisung was shaking, he hates cockroaches

to this day you still didnt know why he was a slytherin, but you guessed it was because he was a pureblood, very ambitious and resourceful but not so scary

but today was no exception

you walked towards the gryffindor table, robe billowing behind you as if you were walking in a movie

you were a lee sibling, you were both good at literally everything and deserved all the praise on earth

you fucking go girl, i stan

jisung sat at your table, the gryffindors appeared not to mind, especially as he was actually super nice

"y/n haechan told me to give you this"

ah there it was

the small hufflepuff girl handed you the letter before scurrying off back to her table

"y/n im scared"

jisung was already frightened of what that letter would hold

and you were a good friend, who knew no good would come from that letter

so you shoved it in your pocket, letting it crumple up before turning back to your breakfast

rip donghyuck

that was a fat L for our boy

he just wanted your attention

at first at least, he just wanted to be noticed by you so he pulled the cat stunt, making sure he didn’t actually harm the creature because he is still a decent human being and the grey furry animal did nothing to him

but now he had taken things too far

and he realised that after the stunt he pulled which resulted in you

yes, you, the brave, courageous gryffindor, crying

yeah he fucked up

he casted an illusion spell that infiltrated your sleep, creating nightmares with your deepest fears

and he regretted that

prank gone wrong *nearly killed her* (not clickbait)

you were still pissed at him for that

but that letter in your pocket was no ordinary letter

it was a confession letter, because he; yes him, the infamous slytherin, was too scared to talk to you about it in person

yet you literally just crushed his heart

which he kinda deserved to be fair

but jisung sent you a grateful smile and you went back to your conversation of which cereal brand was better

the answer is obviously lucky charms or frosted shreddies pengers mate

so our baby slytherin needed to find another way to get his feelings across because he was failing

and brother mark was: not happy

mark was a friend of haechan but despite his complaints every goddamn time that he needed to stop his stupid jokes that weren’t actually jokes, he didnt listen

maybe he shouldve listened

mark knows best

apart from jenos fic, mark was a real bitch but this is mark 2.0

mark really doesnt know best

anyways moving on

its time for innovative hyuck™️

so its back to the drawing room, sitting next to yuta (his head boy) to discuss the next plan of action

cutie yuta felt that haechan opening up to him about his feelings was the biggest achievement during his time at hogwarts

so right, the next plan

it was to leave flowers on your bed and then when you turned around to see who put them there (hypothetically) he would be there and he could make his outstanding apology

but of course, this isnt some fanfiction where everything goes right

who do you take me for?

so later that day he gathered his flowers, tying them in a cute dark green ribbon

staying with the slytherin theme

and he put them on your bed

they were some seriously nice flowers

you noticed them as soon as you walked in and your heart swelled

unfortunately that wasnt the only thing that swelled

you were allergic to pollen, and your eyes had puffed up slightly, itching a little and you had some sniffles

that was another L for hyuck

and he ran, he fucking booked it out of his little hiding spot back to his common room aka the dungeon

"YUTA I FAILED"

"how the fuck do you fail giving someone flowers hyuck?"

"shes fucking allergic"

so you never found out who gave you flowers

but

but you did keep them, despite your obvious physical irritation to them

they were pretty :(((

so you pressed them into a random notebook you found, because seriously you couldnt just chuck them out

unfortunately for hyuck, he was not so slick to mark who narrowed his eyes on the boy

he knew something was up

what kind of torture device was flowers ?? this was too soft

and so he found out that the same boy who had been making your life a little

how should i say

s p i c y

had a fat crush on you and was just a pouty baby who wanted your love and attention

cute

mark didnt know whether to support this?? like ?? he knew that underneath your front of disliking the long legged boy, you had some feelings, maybe small but they were there

you wouldve called it fondness

because

i promise youre not a sadist or masochist

but you would see him in class

he was very focused and had a beautiful smile

and laugh

he may come across a little... stand offish and arrogant at first but hes actually a kind soul

from how he made a mess in the grand hall but when he thought everyone was gone, he stayed behind to help clean it, having fun conversations with the staff (elves? who tf cleans the great hall??)

that goddamn melodious laughter constantly ringing in your head

shawtys like a melody in my head

but moving on

you noticed the pranks he pull decreased

and that was because he was spending time with yuta and mark, planning the perfect, foolproof (unfortunately not jeno this time) way to confess

and he sent you small smiles ?? what ??

this is so unlike the hyuck you knew

like he did a 180

i did a full 180 baby crazy

i said this was gonna be less crackish but when regular comes on and you hear jaehyuns queso line you cant not feel qUirKy

(bbq- bb—s mY DIAMONDS I DONT NEED NO LIGHT TO SHINE- jungwoo)

okay so the next plan

you loved quidditch too, mainly because your brother was the captain for the gryffindor team

so the plan was for you to attend the slytherin v gryffindor match and

mark somewhat willingly agreed to have a friendly match so that hyuck could show off his skills

this was an awful plan

because it was raining the day of the match

so you and jisung huddled together for warmth, shivering as you watched the match

and hyuck couldnt feel worse, he felt like you were now going to be sick because of him

damn, you really couldnt catch a break

the groan of pure frustration yuta let out was amusing at least

he was just as invested in this as haechan at this point

like he was germinating a seed??? he was fathering this relationship

so with another L, haechan felt super super bad

and this baby cooked for you

he got his best friend jaemin to teach him how to make chicken soup

because you were actually not a herbivore

(thats the category i put vegans and vegetarians in)

omnivore tings

so he carried his little pot of soup, his fingers kind of burning as it was piping hot

he legit walked right past a suffering jisung in the slytherin dorm, the pot of soup still in hand not even sparing a thought about taking pity on the poor kid and giving him some

so he walked to your dorm, being let in by mark who was being big bro™️ and looking after your sick ass

you looked dead

pale skin, eyes closed, lips tinted blue, your body was shivering but you felt fucking boiling

peak peak times

but haechan still thought you looked gorgeous

mark vacated the dorms, leaving to his lessons so hyuck could look after you

this wasnt a plan ?? but hyuck rolled with it

setting his lil pot down he sat in a seat next to you, staring at your asleep awake form with closed eyes

his eyes held so much love and adoration for you, you really are lucky

he took off his robe, just sitting there in his shirt, trousers and green tie and watching you sleep

you were actually awake, just vibing and breathing to stay alive

and he had a lot on his chest

"i know ive been a massive prick to you and im really sorry. i know you’re asleep right now but im too much of a coward to say this to your face. i really only just wanted your attention because i seem to have feelings for you and i am sincerely sorry for going about it the wrong way"

your ears were {}

wide open

boy were you listening and taking this all in

oh shit

realizashun xx

so you fluttered your eyes open gently, watching his face morph into an expression of pure terror from his previous one of literal love

*whipping noise*

"youre awake!" he squeaked out, eyes darting around the room to look at anything but you

which you couldnt help but smile at

shifting to the side in your bed slightly, you lifted the covers, lazily patting the now open space

"c’mere"

your voice was kind of croaky and hoarse

that made hyuck feel guilty

baby it wasn’t your fault

but he complied, kicking off his leather school shoes and sliding besides you, staying as far away from you as possible

not to offend you, his heart was just going a million miles a second and there was no way you wouldn’t be able to hear it

this boy was like blushy sausage face part 2

arrogant hyuck has left the chat

you pouted seeing him shuffle away from you, shuffling to move yourself closer instead

power move, he either had to cuddle with you or fall off the bed

"can we just forget what i said earlier?"

that made you frown

the fuck?

hell no

"hyuck wait-"

"no dont bring it up its embarrassing"

whiny baby is back

"hyuck i-"

"nope nope nope nope"

"LET ME SPEAK FOR FUCKS SAKE"

he had no choice but to listen

your voice sounded strained already and he didnt want to make you feel worse

"i have feelings for you too you big baby"

double take

you what now?

haechans mouth just kinda froze open

so you shut his jaw gently

cant let him get jaw ache

"wait what?"

his soul has returned

he felt elated, completely happy, dare i say like he was high on a drug and said drug was not THC it was your TLC (LMAO GET IT IM PROUD OF THAT)

and so thats how mark returned to your dorm room to see you and hyuck cuddled in your bed, your head laying on his chest as his chin rested on your head, nuzzling into your hair (which was still half seafoam green might i add)

hyuck wasnt awake to celebrate, so yumark had their own small celebration, counting this as their success

you only found out he had put the flowers on your bed about two months after you started dating

a month after that you read the letter he gave you

#nct #nct dream #mark #mark lee #jisung #jisung park #nct hogwarts au #no eun this time 😔#fucking finally this one took longer than an hour to write #haechan #donghyuck #hyuck #gryffindor reader

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propertyofwicked · 4 years

Text

a-z of dating will schofield

(ive kept blake alive bcos im not a monster, and he has sisters rather than daughters :) ) pls request more for me to write i am bored of my half term lol

a- argue

both of you are fairly neutral people, so you rarely have arguments of significance. when you do however, the aftermath can last anywhere from a few hours to a few days - both of you too stubborn to admit your faults so resorting to silent treatment. the periods of silence ended when one of you couldn’t take it anymore, usually him. he would approach you when you were pre-occupied, take you in his arms and whisper an apology. if that didn’t work, he would begin telling bad jokes, refusing to let you go until you cracked even the smallest of smiles.

b - body (his favourite body part of yours)

will loves your lips. on the one hand, he loves when your whole face lights up in laughter, or perks up with a smile. he loves seeing your lips curl up into a small grin whenever you see him across the street or when you share a look from across busy rooms. on the other hand, he loves how your lips fit perfectly with his. when you get intimate, he loves how they wrap around him and he loves when they fall open to let out the bliss sound of your moans.

c - care (how you care for each other when you’re sick)

when will is ill, he’ll pretend it’s nothing and continue working himself beyond his ability. it’s almost your job to make sure that when he’s ill, he remains in bed - or at least the house - in order for you to keep an eye on him and make sure he stays hydrated and well fed. when you’re ill, he will stay with you as much as he can. before he has to go to work, he’ll place a glass of water and medication next to your bed and put soup into a pot, ready for you to just heat it up when you needed it. when he comes home, he’ll come straight up to you and wrap you in his arms, peppering your face in kisses. he didn’t care if he too got ill - it just meant more time with you.

d - dates (what do you guys do?)

you and will weren’t a typically outgoing couple, whilst you both came from money and could afford to splash out - neither of you wanted to. you’d rather stay at home, curled up on a sofa, humming along softly to the murmurs of a record playing softly in the background. he’d play with the rings that adorned your fingers whilst he listened to you talk about anything that came to mind. you listened to him talk, sometimes he’d tell stories of his time in the war - maybe he’d recount something he’d seen or something that blake had told him in passing, he did love to tell stories after all. when you did go all out, it was to celebrate anniversaries or birthdays, and even then, it was a dinner and then a walk home, gazing at the stars.

e - engagement (how he proposed)

it was on your 7 year anniversary, sometime in early 1922, and you go to a local restaurant to celebrate. something feels different though. as you walked in holding hands, his became clammy and throughout conversation at dinner, he stumbled over his words and found it hard to stay on one topic for more than 5 minutes at a time. on the walk home he takes you down a different street and says he “just wants to show you something”. without questioning him, you follow him and end up at the bench you first met. it wouldn’t be will, if he hadn’t planned out a long speech that built up to the final question but in his stress manage to forget it and resort to just going on one knee and smiling up at you, “i love you, will you marry me?”

f - friends and family (do they like you/him?)

his family adores you. his younger sisters loved to have someone to talk to and someone to braid their hair whilst their big brother was away at war. whilst he was away, his mother loved to have you other for dinner, desperate to have anything the remind her of her son. his dad and you weren’t massively close but there was an aspect of mutual respect. you had many mutual friends as you grew up in the same area, attending local schools and all of them were obviously delighted to see their two friends happy with each other. your parents adored him too, he was the son they never had whilst also being the best thing to walk into your life.

g - gifts

will loved to shower you in gifts. they were only little but they were something so deeply special to you. it was weekly flowers, that he’d buy on his way back from work, or maybe a punnet of cherries from the green grocers - he was whipped and you were equally.

h - how you met

you met when you were 17 and he was 18 in 1915. your town had been holding a small travelling festival consisting of a circus and fun little game stalls. your friends had insisted you go, as it may be your only chance. they didn’t mention though, that whilst there they would be meeting their boyfriends - leaving you alone, wondering around admiring the lights. in your meandering, you bumped into the dusty blond who stood as good head above you. in doing so, you knocked the toffee apple out of his hand, and insisted on buying him a new one with the the remainder of the 10 bob your dad had given you on the way out. you spent the rest of the evening sat on a bench, talking about the stars that shon above until your friends turned up to take you home.

i - intimacy (how often are yall getting down?)

despite his shy outer shell, william schofield was not afraid to show you loving almost every day. can’t sleep? hungry? need to go shopping? this man does not care. if you need anything, he’ll give it to you and god does he know how to work his way around that bedroom.

j - jealousy

your’re both the jealous type, but not the type to make a public show about it. the pent out anger is usually taken out behind doors if you get what i mean ;) when will gets jealous, he makes sure you know by squeezing your hand harder or moving it over to graze the top of your thigh and he’d play with the ends of you hair. you’re more discreet about it, maybe getting a little argumentative with whoever is making you jealous.

k - kinks

william schofield - king of praising. he loves to hear you call out his name as much as he likes to make you. if he could spend all day making you shake, he would.

l - long distance

whilst will was away at war, things got hard. despite only being together 6 months when he left, it was like a piece of you had been torn away, and you spent every day praying for his safe return. but when he did come back on leave, it wasn’t the same as you knew he’d had to leave again and the risk of never seeing him again got more prevalent. sending letters was always hard, often he’d find the small marks where ink had bled from your tears, his heart shutting down to repress his own feelings. his letters went from happy to bland. no emotion, just vague descriptions of his days, his meals - nothing about him and how he was doing. so when the war did finally end and he came back to you, he returned to being the will you had grown to love.

m - moving in

towards the beginning of the war, you had received a letter from will declaring how the moment he came home, he wanted to make a woman out of you. so when the war finally ended 4 years later, and he returned, the first thing you two did was go on the hunt for a smallish house. you opted to move more into the city as the jobs and travel was considerably better. living together was a dream, though you had to adjust to each others bad habits, and being young and living together meant you had the constant questionings as to when you would start a family of your own.

n - nights out

ofcourse, living in closer to the city provided you with better opportunities for nightlife. friday nights were dancing nights. you two, your friends and partners and whichever girl tom picked up that week would all stumble down to the dance hall and spend hours, drunk dancing to the likes of marrison harris, only to return home at early hours and pass out on the living room floor.

o - open with each other

at the start of your relationship, will and you were very open with each other, discussing your boundaries and respecting them as such. you would talk about everything, from friends to family to school. but after the war, will became a closed door - refusing to talk about anything that happened whilst he was away, you respected this but wished he’d open up the slightest, just to be able to connect to him in anyway. after a few months, he became the same man he was before he left, just more mature - a look that really suited him. in his months of silence, you opted to fill this by just talking non stop, anything the provoke a reaction. and you’ll never forget when he had not said a word for 3 days after returning and whispered a quick “i love you” as you fell asleep that night.

p - pda

neither of you were big on over-the-top pda, choosing to just hold hands or accept slight pecks. affection was saved for a private environment around only each other or very close friends. although in crowded areas, will would stand behind you, wrapping his arms around you securely.

q - questions (what you talk about late at night)

it’s 3am, you can’t sleep, so you roll over and stare will in the face until one eye peaks open.

“yeah?” he mumbles sleepily.

“do you love me?”

“mhm”

“no say it”

“i love you, now go to sleep, it’s 3am”

r - reproduction (do you want kids?)

you’ve always wanted kids, knowing that you grew up mostly alone as a single child. will had also wanted children until he saw what war could do to a child. he feared that he would be putting a potential son at risk by just simply creating him. it took a lot of convincing to retrieve will from the mindset he had fallen trap to, but he eventually did come around to the idea of having his own little family to protect.

s - surprising (what surprised you about him)

he was really bold when you got to know him well enough. on the surface and to people who had not spoken to him, will seemed like a quiet but wise soul. one getting to know him, anyone could realise that he had the sense of humour of a champ and was really outgoing. often, being around tom brought this out in him, challenging to ridiculous games of drunk darts in a dingy pub.

t - together (what you do together)

you just vibe together. sometimes you cook together, other times you sing or you dance along with the wireless - him twirling you around the kitchen was a favourite of his. sometimes you’d read together or to each other and other times you’d go out dancing till early hours of the morning.

u - under the influence (drunk vibes)

will and tom were hell to reckon with alone, but when alcohol was thrown into the mix it became a harder battle. you’d opted out of going out one night after a long, tiresome day. this led you to be left to deal with two fully grown men, giggling like school girls in your living room at 2am. will refused to sleep till he had gotten a kiss and tom refused until he was tucked into to bed and sang a nursery rhyme. but quite frankly you wouldn’t have it any other way.

v - vacations

at it was only the 1920′s, you guys tended not to go abroad. instead you travelled the country, hiking in the peak district and swimming in the sea at cornwall.

w - wedding

you had a small wedding service, attended by family and close friends - and it was absolutely perfect. the service was followed by an evening of dancing and drinking alongside the people you loved most.

x - xray (when he’s hurt)

it was almost impossible for a man to return from war unharmed, which left will with a weak left hand from a bad experience with barbed wired and then the carcus of a man. some days, it would get so bad, that he was unable to lift a glass in that hand, and on the days, you’d remind him that you were there to help whenever he needed it. whether that meant giving him medication or ringing a doctor, he was constantly reminded of the love you had for him.

y - you (a random headcannon)

will had left early that morning, saying he’d be home late and not to wait up. you didn’t question it, as often he would travel for his job or go for drinks with tom. for some reason that night you couldn’t sleep without him, so took out his shirt and held it close to you, managing to fall asleep comforted by the smell of him. what a sight that was, for him to walk in a few hours later and find you curled up with his shirt. he had never been more in love with you than at this precise moment.

z - zzzzzzzz’s (sleeping routine)

you’d be in bed first most nights, after bathing away that days dirt. will would emerge at the bedroom door half an hour later, in just a towel, to gaze at you absorbed into a book and oblivious to his presence. he’d put on his pyjamas and climb in next to you, his arm find his way under your back. this way he was able to pull you in and rest your head on his chest. he’d press a kiss to the top of your head, then tilt your chin up to connect your lips together in a sweet kiss.

#1917 #george mackay #dean charles chapman #tom blake #will schofield #will schofield x reader #will schofield imagine #sam mendes #tom blake x reader #tom blake imagine #george mackay x reader #george mackay imagine #a-z #this is shit im so sorry ahaha

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the-cookie-of-doom · 3 years

Note

Good morning! Whats your favorite show/movie? Who are your favorite characters? Why do you like them so much? Also!! Did you have a good sleep?

Okay so I was a film major for a while, and I have opinions.

Penny Dreadful

I love this show. Like, so much. I adore it. I can not get enough of that show. Just all of the imagery, and the fantastic writing and acting. The episode intro alone is one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen. Eva Green is a goddess and I love everything she’s been in. The take on classic horror stories is So Good, and it actually became the inspiration for my Gay Frankenstein story! (Started as a stitch AU, and then went completely OC after I had Ideas) but the show itself is so intimate? I think it’s largely that the period they’re in, everything was so repressed and restricted. So when the characters break out of those moments, it’s more meaningful. And the love-hate relationship between Ms. Ives and Malcolm in season one? Exquisite. I could literally write essay’s about this show, but I’ll restrain myself and just say: it’s the best ensemble show I’ve ever seen. The characters come together, but they also each have their own distinct lives that sometimes intersect, but in s2 especially, are quite separate. They are constant with one another like ensemble shows usually portray. Also gothic horror and romance? My absolute favorite.

Anything by Guillermo del Toro

This man Owns My Entire Soul. I’m not even joking, everything he writes and directs is perfection. Crimson Peak is probably my favorite (I have a stitch AU for this too ;) ) because again, Gothic horror and romance. I’m a slut for that shit. Also Tom Hiddleston and Jessica Chastain? Delightful casting. I think it’s obvious by now that I love tragic relationships, so their dynamic is *chef’s kiss* amazing. they’re so damaged. And this quote right here is one of the BEST things I’ve ever read:

“But the horror... The horror was for love. The things we do for love like this are ugly, mad, full of sweat and regret. This love burns you and maims you and twists you inside out. It is a monstrous love and it makes monsters of us all.”

Engrave that on my headstone, please?? I’ve got a sort-of Dorian Gray AU (it’s delightful) that’s basically built on this entire premise. Mitch makes the mistake of falling in love with Stiles, and does many terrible things because of it. Mostly to himself, at least.

I think my love of Crimson Peak is very closely tied with The Shape of Water. another beautiful movie, I could wax poetic about this forever. it was beautifully written, and such an artistic movie. I love the way it was filmed, and the set design, and all of the subtle imagery. Such as Elisa’s apartment being cast in cooler tones, it always felt very damp and had evidence of water damage, compared to Giles’, a mirror image of her own, in more warm tones. This is another one I could (and have) write essays about. There is so much packed into this movie, from the themes on toxic masculinity and entitlement, to the conversation on queerness and race and disability, and how all the various relationships are portrayed. Like. there is so much to pick apart in this movie.

Aside from that, ofc Hell Boy deserves an honorable mention because i grew up on those movies. I’m pretty sure the Golden Army especially is responsible for who I am today, given all the lore on the fae in that universe. Wow, that explains so much about me... Also one of my first WoW characters was an elf named Nuala xD I still have her, too, and it’s been like 12 years lol

Near-Future Sci-Fi

Sci-fi is one of my favorite genres, I am a huge nerd for theoretical and astrophysics. But my favorite kind of sci-fi is the stuff that still takes place on Earth, rather than epic battles in space. Ex Machina and Annihilation are at the top of that list. Alex Garland is another writer/director that I love. He has the same kind of approach as del Toro, where he puts a lot of fine details into his work. And I love that it’s very cerebral; there are so many layers to Ex Machina. My English 101 prof actually refused to analyze it in class when I suggested it to him, because he didn’t think my class could. Basically handle? Dissecting that movie? Because a lot of it comes across as very surface level, but in some cases when you look deeper, it’s actually suggesting the opposite of what you might think at first glance. (And he was right, my fellow students were awful. I miss that class though, it was one of my favorites T_T Mr. Ryder was an awesome dude and super chill.)

Morgan is another good example. As you can see, I fucking love androids lol. Which brings me to another of my all time favorite movies: Cloud Atlas. I could literally watch this movie endlessly, I love it so much. The acting, the writing, the filming, all of it is top notch. And one thing they did in the movie that didn’t come across in the book, was reusing the same actors through the different eras in the book. That was just so neat, because it really encapsulates how connected these souls are, as we follow the threads of their story throughout time. If you haven’t seen the movie, I can’t recommend it enough.

Another one I always think of alongside Cloud Atlas, even though they aren’t related at all, is Predestination. It’s a great movie that explores the idea of fate and free will in a really clever way, utilizes time travel in a very organized way that I think was neat (think Umbrella Academy. They even use briefcases! As you can see, I love sci-fi bureaucracy, it’s fun. In fact The Bureau is another movie I enjoyed) and the main character is actually, explicitly trans, which was cool. You basically get to see the entire story of their life, and I don’t want to spoil anything, but it’s just. So good. Mindfuckery galore.

Shoot, and I almost forgot! Arrival! That is one of the best movies, and another one I could watch nonstop. It focuses on mathematics and linguistics and I swear to god, I almost altered my entire college course because of this movie. Amy Addams is brilliant, Jeremy Renner is so soft and nerdy, and again, it has an amazing take on time travel. I am very particular about how time is handled in Sci-fi, and this portrayal was one of my favorite. (Most of my physics studies have been dedicated to the theory of time, so like. Strong Opinions.)

Fantasy

Stardust! It wasn’t until Good Omens can out that I realized Neil Gaiman is responsible for most of the stories I loved as a kid lol, and I had no idea he wrote stardust! But that is such a beautiful movie (I have a Stardust AU lol) and it’s definitely one of my comfort movies. Captain Shakespeare is one of the best characters ever, bless Robert de Niro. I would die for him. Fun fact, i had no idea Ipswitch was a real place until like. 2019. I 100% thought it was made up for the movie 😂

Alongside Stardust, I’ve always loved The Golden Compass. It’s fantasy, but also with that old-timey steampunk science feel, which is so fun and surprisingly difficult to find!

Mortal Engines also has the same kind of feel, and it was such an epic movie in every sense of the word. I’m a little sad that after all the work that went into it, it didn’t get a dedicated following or fan base, because I feel there’s so much potential in it. But at the same time, fandom tends to gather around media that has plenty of flaws for us to repair with gold, and there wasn’t much room for that in Mortal Engines.

I’m going to put Jupiter Ascending here even though it technically fits with the sci-fi, because that section is long as fuck and also this movie has such a fantastic feel. Mila Kunis? beautiful. The CGI? beautiful. Eddy Redmayne? One of the best villain portrayals i’ve ever seen. The whole oedipal vibe he had was immaculate, as was their portrayal of reincarnation, and just. The world building. GOD. I get so weak for through world building. Also the fkn intergalactic bureaucracy when they’re basically at the space DMV? One of my all time favorite scenes in movie history.

Horror

I have very little room in my life for horror. As I said, I have strong movie opinions, especially when it comes to horror movies. I don’t like how most of them rely on cheap jump scares and overused gore and gratuitous rape scenes, instead of, y'know, actual good writing.

Which is EXACTLY why I adore It: Chapter 1 & 2. It has none of those things, but still manages to be so terrifying. They are my favorite horror movies, and I’m saying this as someone who has genuine childhood trauma bc of the novel. Like. I couldn’t shower/take baths alone until I was almost 10 T_T When I was 6-7 and saw kids play by storm drains, I would run over screaming about how Pennywise was going to get them. Like, I had issues man. I was terrified to see the first one, and wouldn’t go until I could go with my best friend after she had already seen it, so she could warn me when something scary was about to happen 😂

And, one of my favorite aspects of the movie, and the thing that gave me Mad Respect for Any Muschietti? The way he filmed Bev and her father. They have a character who is literally being molested, but they never once have to show it. And yet their interactions are still so viscerally upsetting to watch. Sexploitation puts me off of most horror, and the fact that Muschietti doesn’t use it here, even when it would be actually somewhat justified? *chef’s kiss*. I love him.

I love horror as a concept, I’m just really picky about it because I expect the writing to be good. I don’t like short cuts. But in a lot of cases, even if I don’t enjoy the movie itself, I love to watch analysis videos on youtube! I love to see the philosophy and symbolism in different horror movies, even if i don’t like to watch the movies themselves. It’s a fun hobby.

Misc.

Then in general, some other stuff I love in no particular order:

The Internship (Bless Dylan, Stuart is such a bitch and I love him)

American Assassin (ofc. The writing itself is eh, but Mitch is my man)

Dylan’s episode of Weird City. (I actually have a lot of feelings about this one. Jordan Peele is another amazing writer/director, I really need to catch up on his works.)

Dorian Gray (*chef’s kiss*)

Rogue One (Makes me cry every time)

WARCRAFT (Obviously this is a fav. It made me so happy, words cannot express.)

Coraline and most other stop motion animation. I’ve always had a soft spot in my heart for that.

Literally anything associated with Tim Burton. Fun fact, when I was 12 and in middle school, I planned to decorate my future house inspired by tim burton. Like, i had Plans.

Most adaptations of Alice in Wonderland!

So! this got long as fuck! But you said you like that kind of thing lol 😂 I had kinda Eh sleep since I was up so late lmao, and I kept waking up (as usual, rip). And I’m so mad I go up for nothing! The dude I was supposed to show my listing to never showed, and is refusing to answer my calls >_> It’s been 2 hours now, and I still haven’t heard from him. But whatever, I already have a full price cash offer on the house so who cares. And that means I can play WoW all day, now!

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therainbowwillow · 3 years

Text

https://therainbowwillow.tumblr.com/post/639917088173113344/alright-its-been-a-hot-second-since-ive-written -Part 1

Okay, Hadestown Fanfic With Crossovers Where Orpheus’s Terms are Different and Also ✨Olympus Drama✨Part 2/???

I think my greatest struggle in writing is... posting it. And deciding on a consistent plot. That too. Expect changes. Edit: Well, well, well, there’s a draft feature on this website? I might just migrate to Tumblr.

I may make an overview post at some point so you don’t actually have to read this. A long TL;DR probably, because it is written by Miss What-Is-Concise. My TL;DRs need TL;DRs of their own. Anyway, I’m rambling, so let me actually get started.

Preemptive:

-Orpheus is Apollo’s kid in this version, as he is in many retellings. He is raised by Hermes.

-Hermes works for Hades, bringing souls to the underworld. He resides away from Olympus to fulfill said duties.

-Dionysus’ parentage is by Persephone and Hades. (Because there’s no way Persephone’s screwing Zeus in the other room. Also this is his more underworld-connected family ties.)

-You drink from the River Lethe, according to some ancient authors, to forget your past life. And if Virgil can blatantly rip off Homer, I’m stealing ideas too.

-Would you look at that? This “short” AU fic is expanding by the minute. Hades and Persephone’s are true to the musical and that’s about it at this point.

Eurydice drags Orpheus to his feet. He leans against her. “Eurydice...” he mumbles. “I... I’m so sorry.”

“I signed my life away. That wasn’t up to you. We need to get going.”

Orpheus nods. “Why’s he letting us go? I don’t remember... anything really. I sang. Then I...” he turns away. “It felt like I was sitting in a fire. I couldn’t sing, I couldn’t think. It was unbearable.”

“I’ll never let them lay a finger on you again.”

“You didn’t answer me. Why’s he letting us go?” he asks, softly.

“He’s not,” Persephone mutters. “He wants you to fail. Then he’ll have a canary for his mines.”

Orpheus shudders at the thought. “My song... I thought... Persephone, I think I rewrote every note a hundred times. I lost the love of my life for that melody. And... it failed.”

“Just walk, okay? Please. Once we’re out of here, none of it matters,” Eurydice pleads.

“H-how far?” He’s almost afraid to ask. The original walk had been a grueling task. This one, he thinks, might be a hundred times harder. Whatever Hades had done to him... the effects hadn’t faded. Eurydice must already think he’s a selfish, naive, worthless idiot, he’s certain, so he plans to stay quiet. Unless it gets bad. Only if he needs to tell her, he decides.

“A mile, maybe a little more,” Persephone replies. “We’ll rest in my old greenhouse. It’ll be a roof over our heads at least. Don’t look back,” she warns. “Hades’ servants will follow us. Don’t give them a reason to think we’re afraid.”

Eurydice wraps and arm around Orpheus’s waist. “Tell me if you need a break.” He nods.

———————————

Hades sinks into his office chair. A painting of his wife hangs on the wall. He’s posing at her side. They’re smiling. She’s holding a bouquet of flowers. He rises and storms over to the portrait. He rips it of the wall and it crumples to the ground, torn in two.

He glances out the window. He’s viewing his realm from the highest point in Hadestown. The landscape is as flat as a sheet of paper. No hills, no mountains, only rivers, flowing by some force that is not the gravity of the overworld. His tower is the only peak. And the smokestacks of his factories.

This is his realm. All of it is his. Every inch of dirt, every scrap of metal and gemstone beneath the ground. Every sullen face of every tortured worker who’d sold his soul away. The wall is his too. And the Styx, which wraps it 7 times over. He’s a king and his castle is protected by the highest of palisades and yet... that boy... that son of Apollo had taken it all from him. What is a king without his iron fists? Now he had shown softness, now he’d shown weakness. A crack in the wall will bring the whole structure down, he thinks to himself. But what else can he do? Persephone is his wife. She is *his*. To imagine a thousand winters and springs and summers without her...

The underworld is lonely. He cannot lose her. But he cannot let the boy escape. Nor his lover, nor his traitorous workers. If he shows them an inch, they’ll take a mile. Worse, the traitors were right. Orpheus is alive. Orpheus is not his. That poet is all that stands in the way of his kingdom. And like any barrier, he will fall. How? Hades wonders. How can he kill the boy, break his spirit and punish him without losing Persephone? What blinds his wife? he asks himself. That silly little song had manipulated him, taken hold of his heart like alcohol. And Persephone loves it. She believes, truly believes, that Orpheus deserves to live for the very reason he must die.

Hades slams his fists against the window. Perhaps she was right. He ought to follow in his brothers’ footsteps. Forget his wife. That simple action would be enough to fix everything. If he let her go, she’d have nothing to hold over him. He wouldn’t be her puppet. He’d kill Orpheus, chain up the boy’s foolish lover and send Achilles and Patroclus to the darkest mines, and force them to work day and night apart from each other. Sure, the bunch of them would whine like kenneled puppies, but he could take their cries. They’d forget everything if he could get them to drink from the Lethe. Orpheus would be easy. Threaten his pretty little muse and he’d be scrambling to his knees. Eurydice would be nothing without her poet. Achilles would resist. He’d fight a millennia before he or his lover bowed before their king. But they too would fall.

Only Persephone stands in the way, he knows. He likes to imagine he has her under his control. But he knows it’s a lie. The food of the underworld she’d eaten, it didn’t confine her as well as he’d hoped. Sure, her time above ground would be made unbearable, but she would still be out of his grasp. She could leave. She would leave. He knows her threats aren’t empty. So he’ll find a way around her. He needs her to come back. Without Persephone’s warmth, he wouldn’t know what to do with himself.

He watches the crowd of shades begin to disperse and it dawns on him. Orpheus gives them hope, but he makes them afraid. How many deceased reside in Hadestown? It’d take a hundred thousand mortal lifetimes to count. And how many had stepped forward to help the poet boy? Two. Among that crowd, he knew, were great heroes. Heroes who once resided in Elysium. And still, only two shades had betrayed him. Two out of a trillion. Hades smiles. He won’t need to kill Orpheus. One of his workers can take the fall. Even Achilles won’t succeed in standing against an army the size of his. And Hades will win. His wife will see that some dead man has killed the singer to appease his king. She’ll suspect, but without proof, what does she have on him? Eurydice will see she has no choice. Once the boy belongs to him, Orpheus is his to manipulate. She’ll be trapped. Achilles, for all of his strength, is nothing alone. Without his dear Patroclus, he’ll give in. And so Hades plots.

————————————

Hermes, god of roads and messages, receives word of his adoptive son’s predicament with astounding speed. And he fears for Orpheus. But Hermes guides souls to the underworld, to Hades. To betray the king of Hadestown by helping the boy would be to lose his work and by extension, his freedom to live on the railroad. Without an excuse, he’d be back on Olympus, listening to Zeus and Hera’s endless bickering, watching Ares and Aphrodite humiliate themselves, and helping Dionysus comfort Apollo over the death of the mortal pretty boy of the week. And they wonder why Artemis avoids the damn place at all costs. In fact, he’s stuck on Olympus right now, called to the counsel by Zeus? Athena? He can’t remember. Some mortal breaking some rule.

Orpheus is more important than the meeting. His messenger had interrupted the counsel meeting to bring him word of the poor boy’s situation. He’s not sure how to cover this one up. No one was meant to interrupt important matters as this. Plus, he’d given the kid directions straight into Hadestown, which was the opposite of what his contract with Hades had said. He wasn’t allowed to barter for the return of mortal souls and he wasn’t allowed to assist mortals in doing the same.

“Hermes!” Zeus booms. “What is the meaning of this?”

He rolls his eyes. “Begone, messenger.” He slips a note into the man’s hands: ‘Tell Orpheus I’m coming.’ “Nothing, father. Just... matters of work. You know how Hades is. And don’t get me started on Thanatos! I’m late by half a second and-“

“Enough! I’ve half a mind to banish you from this counsel.” Hermes smiles. His excuses have succeeded.

Dionysus laughs, considerably beyond tipsy on his own wine. “You mind if I go too? I’m sick of this awful alcohol and I’ve got something far better back home.”

“Dionysus, wasn’t there an agreement we made?” Athena inquires, icily. “You cannot come to our meetings drunk.”

He smiles. “Well, you see,” he snaps his fingers and shakes his head, washing away his intoxication. “I didn’t come drunk. I *got* drunk while here.” He raises a flask and shakes it, refilling the canteen instantly. “There’s a difference.”

Athena grits her teeth. “Father, one more of these counsels and I swear...”

“And husband,” Hera pipes up, “We were going to address that nymph girl you’re always hanging around?”

Zeus flushes a deep shade of red. “Out. All of you. We’re done here.”

Hermes rises, forcing himself to keep his composure, at least until he’s out of sight. He steps into the sunlight that dazzles Olympus, treks the road to the edge of the mortal realm and... “Hermes?”

“Gods have mercy,” he mutters. He turns. “Apollo.” The god is puffy-eyed, probably from crying. Even Hermes had to agree, his latest lover had been gorgeous. Hyacinthus, was his name, if he remembered correctly. Apollo himself had called the counsel to beg for mortality when the boy had died and he hadn’t found another for what? Seventeen years? Spare for Orpheus’s muse mother, of course. Still, this was unusual, even for Apollo’s mellow dramatic self.

“You’re afraid.”

“Don’t... don’t do that, would you?” Hermes snaps, recoiling. “Yeah, yeah, medicine and all, but I don’t want you telling me what I’m thinking.”

Apollo dips his head in acknowledgment. “It’s my son, isn’t it?”

Hermes shakes his head. One word to Zeus and... all Prometheus did was hand over a spark. This was treason. “No, just work.”

Apollo tilts his head. “You’re lying.”

“What cause would I have for lies? I cannot keep Hades waiting, now.” He whirls away from Apollo’s gaze.

“Perhaps... treason?” Apollo inquires. Hermes’s eyes widen.

“Strong accusations.” He forces his voice not to shake.

“I won’t turn you in.” Liar, Hermes thinks. He wants to get on Zeus’s good side. A chance at getting his lover boy back.

“Correct. You wouldn’t have anything to turn me in for,” he tells the son of Leto.

“Orpheus’s wife... no, fiancée. No... I don’t know! The girl. She’s dead. Orpheus’s song is a failure. I heard it from Olympus. Lovely, really. But not nearly enough to convince Hades to let her go. Nothing is.”

Hermes turns again to face his half-brother. “Keep your voice down, would you? If Zeus hears a word of this-“

Apollo cuts him off. “And you helped him. You broke your contract and you know Hades better than anyone, other than Persephone, if they still talk these days. He’s crueler than he once was. They say Elysium itself is no more, that there’s only Tartarus now. You’re afraid of his wrath. And you’re afraid of Zeus. He’ll punish you too. You saw what he did to Asclepius. Struck by lightning for treason against Hades. And that was before this... winter,” he says, softer now.

“I don’t want a lecture, Apollo. What do you want?” Hermes glares at the god.

“I want a deal.”

Hermes narrows his eyes. “What kind of deal?”

“You break me in to the underworld-“

“No. I’m in enough danger as is.”

“Hear me out.”

“I said no!” Hermes steps back onto the road. Apollo grabs his wrist.

“I can get you out of trouble. Dionysus!” The wine god steps out of the woods.

“I’m due to visit my mother. Hades won’t prevent me from entering his realm, I’m his son,” Dionysus explains. “You and Apollo are there on Demeter’s ask to learn why Persephone is late. You, because you’re the god of messages and Apollo because he was available, on leave from his duties to mourn.”

Hermes groans. “The walk is far. Even if you’re me. Days on end of moping and drunken ramblings for a plan almost certain to backfire? I said no.”

Apollo smiles. “Then I’ll turn you in,” he says simply.

“You won’t. Orpheus is your blood. You’d put him in more danger. He knew of my contract and he let me break it. You’d add a charge against him. And it’s me. You cared once, didn’t you?”

“You know I would. You said so yourself. I visited the poet boy twice, maybe. And you? Ask yourself: when was the last time you optionally visited Olympus? But Hyacinthus, I loved for years. If I turn you in, I’m one step closer to him. On Zeus’s good side again.” Hermes shifts on his feet. “It’ll be good to have a doctor at the boy’s side too, seeing as your instructions just about starved him to death.”

Hermes glares at him. “Don’t.”

“You know it’s true. So? Let’s go or you trade places with Prometheus.”

“Fine,” he mutters, through a clenched jaw.

“Good. Now, this is on our terms, Hermes. I will aid your son because you’ve always been good to me and because he is my blood. If he gets in my way, he belongs to Hades.”

#hadestown au #orphydice #hadestown #hadestown fanfic #therainbowwrites

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theshopislocal · 3 years

Text

corinth rains

New and improved Heaven may well be the Happiest Place (not) on Earth. But Dean, it turns out, is still Dean.

(also on AO3)

chapter five

Baby rumbles against Dean’s back, purring as she idles at the roadside.

He’s been sat here, hands on the wheel in a stiff 10 and 2, languishing in indecision for a good while now. Though the windows are down and the visor out, he’s still sweating a wet spot onto the back of his henley, hair damp at the base of his skull.

He glances at the passenger seat, empty but for his phone lying face down.

The phone was something of a turn up. It had appeared at his bedside sometime during his first night in Heaven. He’d awoken to the sound of it buzzing against the tabletop, a message from Sam - You good? - flashing on the screen. He’d picked it up and fiddled with it, running his fingers over the burnished metal and smooth glass. If he’d never seen any of the crazy shit Charlie’d cobbled together, he would’ve said the thing looked Space Age - all sleek lines and sharp angles, no buttons to speak of.

As it stood, he’d shrugged and tapped on the message from Sam. He’d typed out a brief response - Peachy - and chucked it back onto the nightstand, pulling the covers over his head. He’d slept until the sun went down.

Dean winces as a bead of sweat drips into his eye and cranes his neck to wipe his face on his shoulder. He looks back at the phone and rolls his eyes.

It’s in his hand a moment later, his thumb hovering over the screen. There are no icons, no home screen, just a blank black surface. Like most things in Heaven, it seems to just... operate as expected - to do whatever it is he wants it to.

Trouble is, Dean doesn’t know what he’s expecting. And he certainly doesn’t know what he wants.

He peers through the windshield, eyes squinting against the light, and observes the sparse spring clouds drifting over the pass. If he looks hard enough, he can probably find Sam and Eileen’s place - a little white dot on the mountainside. Instead, his eyes cut to the lowest point between the peaks, though he can see neither hide nor hair of what lies beyond.

His thumb brushes against the phone’s screen, and he glances down when it illuminates.

On first glance, it looks no different from any other satellite map - a blinking blue dot with his name hovering over it, little broccoli trees and crosshatch roads. But as he looks closer, he sees movement: the trees seem to sway, the shadows shift, and there’s a dancing white speck where a bird flies figure eights.

On a whim, Dean double taps his location, zooming in tight. He sticks his other hand out the window, waving skyward. On the screen, he sees himself, flailing his arm like an idiot, crystal clear and moving precisely in time.

Dean’s eyebrows pop up, and he snorts. “We have the technology,” he mutters, pinching the screen to zoom out again. “We can make it better, stronger—”

He stops short at the sight of another little dot, this one in a soft, glowing white. It’s across the bridge on the other side of the forest, in what looks like a sprawling botanical garden.

The Library, reads the text.

Dean frowns and lowers the phone, staring blankly at the steering wheel. He’s got that feeling again, like he’s a damn open book - though he’s not sure why anyone would bother to read.

He shakes his head and huffs a dry laugh, chucking the phone onto the dash. He flicks on the radio, Zeppelin IV blaring from the speakers, and throws Baby into gear.

“Over the river and through the woods,” he murmurs, and he pulls onto the road in a cloud of gravel dust.

~*~

Though stately and finely architectured with pillars and white stone, the building that houses the Library is surprisingly small.

He’s driven past it a few times, but never gotten too close; there’s something mildly forbidding in the way it juts out of the earth, its stamped concrete walkways a jarring foil to the surrounding flora. From his perch on the front steps, it looks like any other city library - modern and well-maintained, if a bit oddly placed.

Dean presses his phone closer to his ear, eyes fixed on the tall, imposing doors at the top landing. “You sure this is a good idea?”

Charlie’s voice comes through, clear and a little echoey. “Well, it was your idea, so… No, not at all.”

Dean’s eyes roll skyward at her chipper tone, and he fiddles with the odd little trinket in his other hand. “I mean, is it gonna work,” he grunts out.

Charlie makes an offended noise, and there’s a low thud that sounds like a book snapping shut. “Of course it’s gonna work,” she says, tone sharp with a nerdy bluster that has Dean cracking a smile. “I poured my flesh and blood and a tiny bit of weapons grade plutonium into that amulet.”

Dean feels his smile slip, and he peers down at the little talisman. It’s a rusted iron triquetra with shining gemstones inlaid, the whole thing no bigger than his palm.

He’d called Charlie just as he pulled up to the garden. After a brief back-and-forth, she’d given a disgruntled “you owe me one,” and - through some sort of Heaven-magic that he doubts anyone besides Charlie could pull off - the amulet had appeared in his glovebox.

She definitely hadn’t mentioned any fucking plutonium. “Did you say—”

“This isn’t my first rodeo, Winchester.”

Dean pulls the phone away from his ear and briefly presses the back of his hand into his eye socket. He nods to no one in particular, pulling his lips through his teeth. Sure, plutonium. Why not.

“Jesus,” he grumbles. “Yeah, okay.” He holds up the amulet, extending his arm as far from his body as possible; he’s pretty sure nothing can kill him now, but he’s not particularly interested in testing the theory. “So how do I use this thing?”

Charlie clears her throat. “Push on the gems - red first, blue last. Plop it on the door, and it’ll automagically—” Dean frowns, automagically? “—open. Badabing...”

“Badaboom, right.” Dean nods around a grimace and casts his eyes about the courtyard. It’s quiet and empty, the last rays of the evening sun glinting on the white stepping stones. “And if someone from the Arch sees me?”

“Well,” she begins, lofty and facetious. Dean gives a preemptive sigh. “They can’t kill you, can they. They’re angels, not juggalos with rusty barn nails.”

Forty years. He’s been dead forty years, and he still hasn’t lived down the juggalo thing. “Alright, first off,” he says, gesturing wildly with the nuclear weapon in his hand, “it was rebar. Not a nail. Rebar. And second,” he ticks two fingers up, “they were vampires,” he complains. “Big, scary vampires.”

Charlie snorts indelicately. “Yeah, well, I got gutted in a motel bathtub by a frickin’ Frankenstein. So, I win.”

“You—” Dean pauses for a moment to consider his argument. But toeing up against Charlie is a bit of a nonstarter, and, well... Frankenstein is pretty badass.

He sighs, resigned, and gives a shrugging nod. “Yeah.”

There’s a crack and hiss in the background - a beer can opening, Dean thinks - and he can hear the snarky smile in Charlie’s voice. “Tell Kevin I say hi.”

Dean blanches. “I—”

“Toodles!” Charlie says, and the line clicks dead.

Dean pulls the phone from his ear, glaring at the black screen. “Toodles,” he sneers, and slips it into his back pocket.

Dean peers around the plaza again, though there’s not a soul (he snorts) in sight. He squares his shoulders and straightens his spine, giving himself a little shake.

The steps are short and shallow; he takes them two at a time until he comes to the landing. Up close, the building looks bigger, the door a huge, imperial thing towering several feet over his head. It’s a smooth, dark wood, its wide panels inlaid.

Dean grasps at the amulet, sucking in a deep breath. “Here goes,” he murmurs.

He ghosts his fingertips over the gemstones. Red first, blue last. He pushes his forefinger against the red stone, face screwing up in a wince. It depresses and clicks into place.

After a tense moment, during which his entire body clenches like a vise, he opens his eyes. He peers down at himself, patting a hand around his chest. He’s still— well, not alive, per se, but at least he’s not a smear on the stone floor. He breathes out a relieved sigh and wipes the sweat from his brow with the back of his hand.

He runs his tongue over his chapped lips and clicks in the green stone, then the blue one.

For a moment, nothing happens. He frowns down at the amulet, turning it between his hands. Then there’s a soft pop and a little sizzle, and the metal begins to glow, warming against his palm.

“Uh...” His eyes go wide as it glows brighter, nearly scalding him now. “Shit, shit—” He approaches the door in two long strides and smacks the amulet against the lacquered wood.

He draws back his hand, blowing out another sigh when the damned thing stays put. It’s glowing almost painfully bright now, the light leaving red spots on his retina. He peers around the landing, wondering belatedly if he should take cover.

There’s a soft click and a groaning creak. Dean turns toward the sound just as the amulet winks out and falls, clinking as it lands. He stoops down to pick it up; it’s cool to the touch now, and Dean shakes his head. As he slides it into his pocket, a musty draft hits his face - the scent of old paper and tanned leather tickling his nose.

The door is open.

~*~

Dean gets the sense, as he steps over the threshold, that he’s walking through several doors - all of which, he presumes, are marked ‘staff only’. Confirmation comes when he steps fully into the room - not a foyer or a lobby, but a sprawling study, densely packed with overstuffed bookshelves.

He turns around to shut the door - quite a different door than the one he opened, knotty pine and regular sized. Dean feels the weight of the amulet in his pocket and gives an involuntary shiver; this magic shit always gives him the willies.

He steps further into the study proper. There are two rows of bookshelves to his left, one directly before him, and several more a little ways down on his right. The books are all bound the same, in a deep beige leather with some sort of gold insignia etched into the spines. He doesn’t recognize the symbols, or any of the books themselves. He doubts any of them are Vonnegut.

He peeks around the nearest shelf and finds a central area with several long oak tables. He glances left, then right, then down at his feet.

It occurs to him, of a sudden, that he’s got no damn idea what he’s doing here.

“You’re late.”

Dean sucks in a sharp breath and whirls around, hands going for the gun he no longer carries.

The door he came through is gone, and the wall along with it. Instead, there’s a raised platform with short stone steps before it, and what appears to be an exact replica of the Resolute desk at center stage.

Seated behind it, slightly frazzle-haired and scribbling away, is Kevin Tran.

Dean feels his jaw go slack, and his eyes get a little misty. Kevin is in Heaven, and he’s sitting at a giant desk with a frickin’ eagle carved on the front, and he’s running what Dean imagines is the celestial Library of Congress, and Kevin is finally - finally - in Heaven.

Dean gets a sudden, painful urge to hug the kid. He takes a faltering step forward to do just that, and the amulet jostles in his pocket.

Oh, right. This is a B&E.

Dean’s arms flop down to his sides, and he feels his face warm.

He runs a hand over the back of his neck and tries for nonchalant. “Heeey, Kevin,” he says, wincing at the slight crack in his voice. “How ya doin’, bud?”

Kevin glances at the little clock on the desk, then turns back to the tome he’s scribbling in. “Your appointment was ten minutes ago.”

Dean frowns and takes a cautious step forward. “I... didn’t make an appointment.”

“I made it for you,” Kevin sniffs. He turns a page, unperturbed.

Dean frowns harder. “How’d you know I was—” He bites down on his tongue, swallowing down the stupid question with a snap of his fingers. “Right,” he nods. “Prophet.”

Kevin gives a hum of confirmation and continues his writing. Dean clenches his jaw against the sudden awkwardness; he feels out of place (which he is, it’s a frickin’ library), like an interloper (which he also is, in an almost too literal sense). He sucks his teeth and saunters over to one of the long tables, running his fingers over the polished surface.

He glances up at Kevin, still scrawling away. He looks different than Dean remembers - broader in the shoulder, stronger around the jaw. There’s a dusting of stubble across his chin and a line etched into his forehead. He’s gone a little grey at the temples.

Dean squints, perplexed. While he himself looks almost exactly as he did when he bit the bullet, nearly everyone else in Heaven looks younger than he remembers them; Charlie looks about the same as when he first met her, and his mom looks almost as she did in his childhood memories. Kevin, on the other hand, looks quite a bit older. Certainly older than he was when—

...when he died.

Dean curls his fingers into a fist, pressing his knuckles into the table until zinging pain shoots up his arm. Dean’s not a complete idiot; he gets Heaven’s schtick. It gives people what they want - what they couldn’t have during their lives. Charlie wanted a 64K TV. Mary wanted a house with a white picket fence. Apparently everybody wanted endless spring days.

And Kevin wanted to grow old.

Dean swallows dryly, and his teeth grind together.

“So,” Kevin says, setting his pen down finally. “You’re here.” He looks up at Dean, and his eyes are dark, lined with crow’s feet. “Did you...” He pauses for a moment, head tilted in mild expectation, “...need something?”

Dean stares for a second, jaw working soundlessly. Then he bites down on the inside of his cheek, giving Kevin a tight, crooked smile. “Oh, just,” he gives a twitchy shrug. “Thought I’d stop by.”

Kevin watches him for a short, taut moment, eyes flicking across Dean’s face. Dean swallows again, shoulders coming up.

Finally, Kevin gives a solemn nod and picks up his pen. He turns back to his notebook and jots something down. Dean thinks he sees a tiny smile around his mouth.

Kevin turns another page. “If you’re looking for Lady Death in Lingerie, it’s been checked out.”

Dean frowns for half a second, then his chin drops to his chest. Right. Cartoon porn.

Dean nods his head, pursing his lips. “Funny,” he murmurs, and Kevin’s eyes flick to his for an instant, squinted and wry.

Kevin goes back to his scribbling, and Dean inches closer, curious, but a low harrumph from Kevin has him taking a step back.

He sits down on the end of the nearest table, twiddling his thumbs. From this distance, he can barely hear the pen scratching over the paper, and the interminable silence grows oppressive.

Dean clears his throat. “So,” he says, and waves a hand in a broad gesture. “What, uh. What all you got in this place?”

Kevin turns another page and doesn’t look up. “Everything ever written, said, or done by everyone in the universe.”

Dean’s eyebrows pop up, and his head tips in a bemused nod. “Oh, is that all.”

Kevin sniffs. “And the Ark of the Covenant.”

Dean’s eyes go wide, brow furrowing. “Wh-. Seriously?”

Kevin gives him a flat, baleful look that clarifies precisely zero, then turns back to his giant book.

Dean nods at nothing in particular and chews his lip. “How do you keep it all organized?”

A muscle in Kevin’s jaw twitches. “Automagically.”

Dean blows out a sigh, making a note in his head to inform Charlie that he’ll be cheesing Scorpion for the rest of eternity, thanks. Presuming Kevin doesn’t send him off to Heaven jail.

Dean winces. “So you heard all that, did ya.”

Kevin hums, scribbling away.

Lost for words, Dean casts his eyes about the study. Now that the door through which he entered is gone, there don’t seem to be any doors at all. He sighs and peers around at the walls; maybe there’s a window he can throw himself out of.

His eyes catch on something high up on the far wall - not a window, but a block of text in a language Dean doesn’t recognize. It looks to be handwritten in some sort of deep gold paint. It glows faintly against the eggshell wall.

Once he sees that first scribble, he begins to notice several others. There’s one nearly at the ceiling kitty-corner to Kevin’s desk that looks like it might be in Japanese. Another on the wall opposite him that’s comprised of funny little hieroglyphs in a spiral pattern that he thinks might be Linear A.

Dean points a finger toward the script and glances at Kevin. “These wards?”

Kevin looks up briefly, eyes flicking to the symbols on the wall. He shakes his head, going back to his notebook. “Inspirational quotes.”

Dean gives a rumbling snort of laughter, and Kevin peers up at him, one eyebrow arched. He gestures with his pen towards the far corner of the room. Dean frowns and looks over.

Smooshed up against one wall is a rudimentary drawing of what looks like a fluffy kitten clinging to a tree branch. Underneath, scrawled in plain English: Hang in there!

Dean’s eyebrows pop up, and he nearly laughs before wrestling his face into a bland smile. “Oh,” he says, glancing back at Kevin. “Uh. Cool.”

Kevin huffs a dry laugh and leans back in his seat. “It’s not really,” he says, and points a finger toward another quote Dean hadn’t noticed. “That one’s a proto-Germanic joke about a walrus. And that one—” he points towards the circular one done in hieroglyphics, “—is in a pre-Sumerian language. No one has any idea what it says.”

Dean’s lips turn down, and he nods. “Huh.” He cuts his eyes sidelong to Kevin. “Who wrote them?”

Kevin shrugs and hunches forward, eyes settling again on his book. “Senior members of the Arch. Angels mostly.” He breathes out a little sound that might be a laugh. “Pretty sure a couple of them are just graffiti.”

Dean nods and stands up. He spins in a slow circle, looking for any that he’d missed, and finds one directly to his right. It’s one of the only ones written at eye level, but its lettering - Latin, Dean notes - is pale, almost translucent. As he stares at it, it appears to grow darker, bolder against the wall.

Si ego loqui, it reads, lingua angeli, autem ego sine amare, ego modo sum turpi strepitu.

Dean’s face scrunches up in a frown. He wouldn’t have called himself fluent in Latin, even on a good day, but now that he hasn’t read any in forty odd years, he can barely suss out any meaning at all. Lingua angeli, he thinks. Angelic mouth? He smirks a little bit. Kinky.

He stares at it for another few moments. It’s eerily familiar, though he can’t place why. There’s something manifest, nearly recognizable about the handwriting.

“I’ve read this one before,” he surmises, nodding towards the text.

Kevin glances up, following Dean’s eyes. “Yeah,” he says, matter of fact. “Most people have. First Corinthians thirteen.”

Dean frowns for a moment. Corinthians. Corinthians. Corinth—

“The Bible?” he says, incredulous.

Kevin gives him a bland, slit-eyed look. “This is Heaven, Dean.”

Dean’s jaw snaps shut, lips pursing, and... yeah, that tracks. “Right,” Dean murmurs, tipping his head back in a nod.

Kevin’s eyes roll, softened by the tiny smile around his mouth, and he goes back to his writing.

Dismissed, Dean turns back to the latin inscription. He wracks his brain for Corinthians, but comes up empty; generally, everything he remembers from the Bible is out of Revelations, since he’d essentially lived his entire life in a state of on-again-off-again apocalypse.

He eyes the script, following its neat, angled lines. He recognizes a few of the words - ego, loqui - but can’t quite attach them to their meanings. He squints his eyes tight, as if by looking hard enough he might divine a translation.

There’s a deep sigh from behind him, and he turns to see Kevin, weary-eyed and grumpy, peering past him to the inscription.

Kevin taps his pen against his open book. “If I speak,” he recites, “in the tongue of angels, but have not love...” he squints his eyes in a frown, “...I am only a vile noise.”

Dean stares blankly at him for a moment, then turns back to the wall. He remembers the verse now, and the bit that follows: love is patient, love is kind. He recalls seeing it printed on greeting cards, boxes of chocolate, Valentine’s bouquets - the sort of shit normal people busied themselves with.

That first bit, though. If I speak in the tongue of—

Dean sniffs and hunches his shoulders against the swelling pressure in his chest. Kevin said these were written by Arch members - angels. He clenches his jaw, grunting, “Funny sort of thing for an angel to say.”

Kevin hums. “It’s also mistranslated.”

Dean frowns and cranes his neck to glance at Kevin. “Oh?”

Kevin peers up at the verse again. “Amare should be caritate.”

“Caritate,” Dean intones. He rolls the word around in his mouth, and it’s coming back to him now. “Charity?” he guesses.

Kevin tips his head side to side with a little shrug. “Literally, yes. But it’s usually used to connote a—” he frowns, chewing his lip, “—a general kind of love. Caritate would mean love for all humankind.” He tips his head toward the inscription. “Amare is love for one person.”

Kevin holds Dean’s gaze for a split second, face inscrutable, before hunkering back down over his work.

Dean’s face goes hot then cold - the thing growing in his chest reaching some sort of critical mass - and the words resound in his head:

Love for one person.

Love for—

Dean sucks in a breath like he’s breaking the surface.

Because you cared, I cared.

His hands clench up tight, fingernails digging into his palms. The whispering voice speaks full volume now, coming from somewhere near his heart, echoing through the hollows inside.

I cared about you.

No. Shut up. Just—

I cared about the whole world because of y—

Dean’s fist comes down on the table - harder than he’d intended - with a dull thud and a sharp, throbbing pain.

He looks over at Kevin scribbling away, oblivious. Dean calls his name, but it comes out in a cracked, stammering whisper. He clears his throat and tries again. “Kevin.”

Kevin’s head tilts, but he doesn’t look up. “Hm?”

Dean licks his lips, dry tongue sticking to the skin. “Who wrote this,” he whispers.

It’s a stupid question. He already knows the answer - knew the second he saw the sharp, looping script. The instant he read the word amare.

It’s almost funny, really. Turns out living in the Happiest Place Not on Earth hasn’t changed Dean much; he still divides his time evenly between knowing he’s wrong and hoping he’s wrong.

Trouble is, with the thrum of a headache pulsing at his temples and the ache in his eyes from the overbright sun, he’s not sure he’s even got it in him to hope.

“Couldn’t say,” Kevin says, voice cutting through Dean’s wayward thoughts. “It was there before I got here.”

Dean’s jaw clenches, and he nods to himself. Kevin scribbles on for another few seconds, then stops and glances up, face bemused. “Kinda weird though,” he says, squinting, “the mistranslation.” He shrugs mildly and turns back to his book. “Guess even angels make mistakes.”

Dean frowns and curls forward, chin dropping to his chest. The whisper in his head makes a short utterance, and Dean sees himself, greyscale in his memory. Face blank in the aftermath, bones numb from the onslaught, and all he can think, can feel, can say is—

Why does this sound like a goodbye?

“Yeah,” Dean says, and his voice is gruff and too loud. He thinks one of his fingernails might have pierced the skin of his palm. “Yeah, they do.”

Kevin looks up at him - face blank, eyes opaque. He stares at Dean for a long moment, and whatever he sees on Dean’s face has his eyebrows rising.

Dean holds his gaze for barely a second, then looks down at his feet. His boots are scuffed, layered in fine dust. He glances at the floor - pristine white marble shot through with gold rivulets - and wonders if he’s tracked dirt onto it. He figures he must’ve done. It’s sort of his M.O., after all. Messing things up.

“Look, Dean,” Kevin says, sotto voce. “It’s...” he shakes his head, thumping his pen against his palm. “It’s nice to see you and all—”

Dean snorts a bitter laugh, and sucks in his lips. He peers up at Kevin with sharp, squinted eyes.

Kevin sighs, and his face softens, mouth forming a flat line. He gives Dean a look - admonishing, with the barest hint of pity. “It is good to see you, Dean,” he reiterates, and the sincerity in his tone nearly makes Dean believe it. “But...”

Kevin sucks in a breath and gestures to his open book, then to the stack of several more at his elbow.

Dean’s spine stiffens, and he nods. Right. Some people do more in Heaven than just drive around in circles, listening to the same six cassettes on an endless loop.

“Yeah,” Dean says, clearing his throat. “Yeah, no, I- sorry, I just, uh...”

He just... what? Broke into Heaven’s Library? With a frickin’ plutonium bomb? Drove a hundred miles (or maybe a thousand, he didn’t check the odometer) because, what, his SpacePhone™ told him to? What is he doing here?

What is he doing here?

“There’s a- a place,” Dean blurts, then scrubs a hand over his face, shaking his head. “Just past the mountain. A little forest in a field. Apparently there’s rain and lightning, and I. I’m just—” paranoid. Terrified. Losing my goddamn m— “It’s pretty close to Sam’s place,” he posits, which is ostensibly true. “And I—”

Dean’s not sure what more to say - what more he could say without making him sound crazier than he rightfully is. Fortunately, Kevin is already pushing back his chair and rising to his feet. He comes around the desk at a trot and descends the stairs.

He arrives at the head of the table, nearly abreast of Dean, and smoothes a finger over the pale wood surface in an intricate pattern.

Instantly, the tabletop is transformed. From the tight woodgrain rise sweeping swathes of squiggly lines, odd little symbols and soft, muted colors. Dean’s eyebrows shoot up, and he leans closer.

The whole thing is a sprawling map. Not the sort he’d seen on his phone, but the sort at the beginning of a fantasy novel, with little hand-drawn forests and ink-flowing rivers. Dean stares for a moment, dumbfounded, his eyes running over the fine details and cross-hatching.

A soft harrumph draws his eyes to Kevin, staring at Dean with mild amusement and open expectancy.

Dean frowns, face warming. “Sorry, what?”

Kevin gives a crooked half smile and nods toward the map. “Your little forest,” he says. “Where is it?”

Dean sucks in a short breath and nods. He steps forward, thighs nudging the table edge, his shoulder nearly butting against Kevin’s. He does a quick double-take when he realizes that the kid - that Kevin - is nearly as tall as he is.

He shakes himself and peers down at the map. His eyes follow the mountain range, inked in broad jagged lines, to the river - a flowing swirl in a dull, washed blue. North of the mountain is a colorless expanse, marred only by a cluster of tiny dots.

Dean points. “There. I think.”

Kevin notes the location, tapping the spot with his finger. A tiny block of text appears next to the cluster, its symbols strange and unfamiliar.

Kevin gives a little hum, then extends his other arm, hand outstretched. A book - identical to all the others lining the shelves - materializes on Kevin’s palm, as Dean watches with wide eyes.

Kevin lays the book on the table, rifling through the pages. Dean peeks over his shoulder, but the text is inscrutable, Greek to Dean.

Apparently not to Kevin, though. He stops on a page about halfway through, tapping his finger near the top.

“It’s a domicile,” he murmurs, squinting at the little symbols.

“A—” Dean starts, then shakes his head. “Someone lives there?”

Kevin gives a humming nod, inching his finger across the crinkly page. “An Arch member, it looks like.”

Dean’s jaw tightens, molars grinding together. An Arch member.

That could be any number of people. Eileen, Jo, Ellen. His parents, Bobby. Even Charlie has offered a hand here and there.

But it isn’t any of them.

Dean bites the inside of his lip, pressing his palms - clammy and tense - against his thighs. “Who lives there,” Dean asks, and it’s a stupid question again, barely a question at all. Dean’s heart beats in his ears.

Sine amare.

Kevin shakes his head. “No name listed.”

Sine amare.

Dean’s fingernails scratch against his pants, hangnails catching on the denim. “How would I find out?”

It’s another stupid question, and Kevin clocks it quick. He sighs a dry laugh and snaps the book shut.

“Well,” he begins, making a swift volte face toward his desk. “You could do it in some—” another soft chuckle as he climbs the short stairs, “—convoluted Winchester way.” Dean rolls his eyes, head tipping forward, but he doesn’t offer a counter.

Kevin moves around the desk and settles himself in his chair, grabbing his pen. He clicks it once, twice, three times, and presses it to the page, jotting something down in quick, spare movements.

“Personally,” he murmurs, as he inks a full stop, “I’d just knock on their door.”

chapter four | chapter six

table of contents

#corinth rains #destiel #deancas #fanfiction #post-canon #slow burn #dean-centric #chapter wc: ~5.1k

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unreliable-narrator · 5 years

Note

would u slaughter me if i asked u to do all of them. all of the greek goddess asks

i spare u from slaughter and do all of them

aphrodite - who do you love most in this world?

i love a lot of people and i love a lot of things so this is a hard question but i love my mom and i love my cat and my friends and-

hebe - what’s you’re fondest memory from childhood?

ok ill expose myself. playing roblox w my first online friends when i was like 9 and roleplaying all casually was really my peak i was so happy!!!

melpomane - what is your favourite song?

i love a lot of music. just an absurd amount. it really depends on any given moment but i think ill give the general award to “it only gets much worse” by nate ruess because i love that song so much. or darkside by shinedown. or lg fuad by motion city soundtrack.

nike - what are you most proud of?

it was the summer of 2018. i was going crazy on farming simulator 17. i found all 100 gold nuggets in 3 hours on the bonus hunt for 1000000 in-game dollars. god save my soul

thalia - who can always make you laugh when you’re feeling sad?

@avothoto and @madpanda14 are both peak comedians and i love them very much

urania - do you believe in astrology? why/ why not?

the logical part of me would love to say no but there’s that part of my brain thats like...what IF....i can’t lie on this post or ill get called out. i know too much about astrology. i need to know people’s signs. i always know what season it is. i wish i didnt. help

selene - would you rather the sky had no moon or no stars?

i’d rather keep the stars at all costs. the stars are everywhere and they are bright and their dust makes up all of us and they’re beautiful and we as a species have done so much with them. that being said i love the moon and i think if we got rid of either the moon or the stars there would be like? physical consequences? maybe we should keep them lmao

polyhymnia - do you belong to a religion? which one?

i do not but i do believe in a general deity or higher power that i refer to as the Universe

pheme - which celebrity do you find most inspirational?

ngl i have absolutely no idea. i love celebrities but like i don’t know their life stories? i dont know who is inspirational and who isnt srtjhksdfjsdfgjhk

hecate - if you were a witch, what kind of animal would your familiar be?

i KNOW its a cheap answer but 100% a cat. specifically, my cat, peanut butter. she’s a bastard and would currently be laying in front of me if she had not been whisked away to bed only a moment ago. she’s 11 years old, she has no teeth, and certainly no braincells

clotho - do you want children? what do you want to call them?

NOT GONNA LIE w/ the right wife i think i might like some kids. i go crazy for kids. they’re so small. as for names? good question all i know if i love traditionally masuline names for girls and i’d definitely name a son Daniel and i have no logical reason

artemis - are you a vegetarian/ vegan?

nope

athena - do you have a favourite piece of art? what is it?

i don’t know art at all. i know absolutely nothing about art actually. however i’ll take this opportunity to say that everything ever drawn by @buzzybez is the most beautiful and talented thing ive ever seen

enyo - do you get angry easily?

no but i DO get unhealthily angry at small things that have no relevance so there is that

harmonia - if you could learn to play any instrument, what would it be?

oh my god the drums 100% i’ve always wanted to learn but i have no idea what drums even. do. aren’t they just for the background? how do drums work? what’s sound?

hestia - would you rather live in the countryside or the city? why?

not to sound gay or anything but i dream of cooking eggs for my wife while the window of our ranch house is open and i can hear the animals outside but also sitting on the fire escape with my wife looking over the streets. maybe what we’ve learned from this is that i want a wife

hygenia - are you a tidy person?

not particularly my room is cluttered and small but it is cozy and entering gives you a sleepy buff

nyx - when was the last time you stayed out past midnight?

probably never. i genuinely can’t remember it’s 8pm right now and it’s already my bed time late night is Not Lexi Hours

hehe that was fun thank u very much <3

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swishandflickwit · 5 years

Text

Deckerstar — if life is a movie (you’re the best part) 1/1

Summary: In which Lucifer divulges a bit of his divine history to Chloe.

Ratings: General Audiences

Words: 666

Warnings: Post-reveal. Established relationship. Cotton candy fluff.

AN: Story inspired by Tom Ellis’ body cause he really does have a lot of beauty marks albeit tiny ones and when Inbar Lavi (who, if you don’t all ready know, plays Eve and whom I love with all my mind, heart, body and soul) did this because of fucking course she can sing.

It’s also where the title is from, specifically, Best Part by H.E.R. & Daniel Caesar, which I highly recommend ya’ll play in the background while reading this for maximum feels and good vibes all around really.

EDIT: Changed "moles" to freckles, CAUSE THAT'S WHAT THEY ARE AND MY DUMBASS BRAIN COULDN'T REMEMBER??? Thanks a bunch to @thepoisonofgod for being literally heaven-sent and pointing this out to me!!! You have my heart!!!

Also on ff.net | AO3

Other writing

The Devil’s Lucky Number series: I | II | III | IV | V | VI | VII | VIII | IX | X | XI | XII | XIII | XIV | XV | XVI | XVII | XVIII | XIV | XX | XXI | XXII | XXIII | XXIV | [ XXV ]

Lucifer thinks about Heaven more often than one would assume, given his loudly-documented distaste for the locale.

(Just not in the way that’s expected)

Chloe’s breath is hot on his skin and still, shivers dance forth his spine.

“You have,” her finger trails the curve of his shoulder as she murmurs, “so many freckles.”

He barks a surprised laugh at that.

“Is that what you think they are?”

She meets his amused stare with a confused one of her own.

“What else would they be?”

He cocks his head, contemplating whether to tell her—because that’s a thing he can do now… share with her his unfiltered celestial past and have her actually believe him.

It’s odd, after bearing her ignorance for so long. It’s strange and novel and uncharted and exhilarating and wonderful and, well—s’pose there’s no question after all.

“They’re scars.”

She startles at that.

Equally baffled, he glances downwards and says, “What? They’re not that bad, are they?”

She plants a chaste kiss on his sternum as her surprise, and his brief flare of insecurity, dissipates at the touch.

“You’re perfect,” she hums, and he can sense rather than see her smile blooming. “Vain, sure. But perfect.”

She sits up and runs her palms tenderly down the length of his arms.

“There’re just so many of them?”

“The perils of building your own stars, I’m afraid.”

Her eyes widen, almost comically. He purses his lips to contain his charmed chuckles.

“You… got these creating—creating stars? Like, the stars?”

“I know what you’re thinking—” he sighs.

“I seriously doubt that.”

“—how could I have gotten injured when I make everything I do look so effortless?”

(She shakes her head and mutters, “Not even close.”

He elects to ignore this)

“Well, I was a wild and experimental thing in my youth—”

“Yeah, cause you’re not like that at all now.”

Rude.

Abruptly, he hefts her over his shoulder and stands. She squeals.

“Lucifer,” she pinches his bum even as she giggles.

“Oh, spicy detective!” he exclaims, joining in her chortles.

“Put me down!”

He doesn’t—not until they’re on a chaise in his balcony, the sky a canopy of diamonds at this late hour and this far from the light pollution of LA. He seats her so that she remains on his lap as she had on his bed, except with her back to his front now.

He parts her hair to one side of her shoulder. His lips descend onto the delicate curve of her neck where he breathes in the scent of her—of the frankincense of his sheets and the citrus of her perfume, like the fantastic 1787 Chateux Margaux and the mind-blowing sex they’d partaken in earlier that evening.

He trails his own hand down her arm before twining their digits and lifting them towards the piceous empyrean, where he proceeds to narrate the creation of the earliest light forms of the Universe.

“Stars were such unwieldy things then. I oversaw their genesis till, well,” a shadow falls over his visage. “Till I didn’t.”

She swivels to face him so that she may cup his cheeks in her hands, nipping gently at his bottom lip and eliciting a low moan from him that banishes whatever demons might’ve eclipsed his mind.

“Which one is your favorite?” she breathes.

He looks to the horizon.

“Shall we wait for it together?”

She nods, seeking haven in the hollow of his throat as she settles her exquisite form aloft his.

Except they don’t make it to dawn, languid as they are in repose and merely waking when they’re bathed in a patch of sunbeams. Other, lower parts of him arise, and Chloe offers to… relieve him, only to bolt. A matter of pride, he gives chase.

And when they fall into each other, tittering and turned on, Lucifer thinks about Heaven—in that he need never yearn for its divine delights.

Heaven was all ready here—right in his arms.

AN: Guys, this one was seriously the most fun and joyful for me to write. Had I not put a limit to my word count, there would have been balcony sex like that’s how deliriously happy I was writing this it was like I was possessed lmao. This is legit peak!cai (that’s me btw hi I’m Cai hahaha) writing because like, this is my favorite way to write my otps, lazy and loving. I was grinning like a fool the entire time I wrote this while listening to these covers of Best (this one’s the literal best cause they were legit in a guitar shop and just did their thing like they were in a recording studio hahaha) Part because no one does only-one-awake-on-a-cool-morning-with-a-cup-of-coffee-watching-the-sunrise acoustic like Filipinos do. Sorry I don’t make the rules lol (as you can see I am ridiculously patriotic haha).

The Devil’s Lucky Number series: I | II | III | IV | V | VI | VII | VIII | IX | X | XI | XII | XIII | XIV | XV | XVI | XVII | XVIII | XIV | XX | XXI | XXII | XXIII | XXIV | [ XXV ]

#deckerstar #lucifer #lucifer morningstar #chloe deckerstar #deckerstar fanfiction #deckerstar ff #lucifer fanfiction #lucifer ff #post-reveal #established relationship #fluff #he is risen #the devil's lucky number series #swishandflickwit ff

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faunusrights · 5 years

Text

OFFAL HUNT REMASTER LIVEBLOG // CHAPTER 8? IS IT 8 ALREAD- YEAH IT IS.

oh god its been 8 weeks already i dont like that these chapters reveal how much time im WASTING but c’est la vie as always lets put these assholes on blast:

moving SWIFTLY on!!!!!!!!!!!!

(also what do you mean ‘it’s the meat chapter’. wh. what meat. hello.)

She slumped back against uncomfortably warm stone, trying to tuck her feet back into the shade.

it’s a known fact that glynda is all Long all Angles and also a lot of Beef,

this is? the date, right? the date chapter? yes? all the chapters have been shuffled around i have NO sense of where i am because all thats happened for 7 chapters is ive been assaulted by lesbians but given the distant chanting of meat meat meat this must be the date.... right.........................................

OH THAT MEANS WE GET TO SEE CINDER’S DRESS NICE

Cinder’s smile flashed through Glynda’s mind, and she shifted against the stone wall, reaching for her Scroll.

my favourite thing is how whenever cinder and glynda think of each other its never not got crazy gay energy............. this is LITERALLY like the whole ‘i sleep next to a photo of my enemy’ deal!!!!!!!!!!! they’re both just attracted to dangerous (and also stupid) people, is the thing,

The Grimm swarmed, biting insects with snapping mandibles, their chitinous exoskeletons all scraping against one another with their constant, eager writhings.

YES thats some GOOD IMAGERY RIGHT THERE IF I DO SAY SO MYSELF UH-HUH

honestly i- OKAY LOOK I SAID IT BEFORE BUT I STAND BY HOW OFFAL HUNT IS SO VISCERAL... i love writing thats like............ kinda Uncomfy to imagine but also rly detailed and just rly digs into the gore and the grossness............ its GOOD CONTENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thank god offal hunt just whaps u in the face w/ it like a damp sock,

we’re got a bit of slow start here which is a nice way to slice the difference between earlier ‘gotta go fast’ glyn and this ‘actually i’m way out of my depth’ glyn. wow! i can BREATHE. and we havent had anything massively cheeky pop up yet which may be a new record all round

The ripples of its being reached Glynda with ease, consuming those of the smaller Grimm. It was dangerous. More dangerous by far, even out here among these ancient beasts.

mmmmmmmmmmm this is- okay slight spoilers but i presume this is hati? aka he who had like a handful of lines in the first version and was generally just... look hati was winner of The Most Vague award in the first version so i’m hoping its hati because i am CURIOUS ABT THIS BOY.................. who i coincidentally love. who is he? we’re not sure (yet) but i love him. its just a fact!

It wasn’t just consumption. It was desecration. Vile unmaking. The Grimm stripped away her flesh. Tasted of her marrow. Gorged itself on the gristle between her bones and peeled back her ribs to reveal the chasm within. It sucked the soul from her chest in a wash of red and agony that spanned centuries, each running over the raw meat of her like long, black claws—

I JUST LOVE THE WAY THIS SHIT GETS DESCRIBED ITS SO SATISFYING also i feel like there should be a tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiny fingerguns in here t e c h n i c a l l y but im not gonna cause its vague enough i can kiiiiiiiiiiiiiinda move on kinda slightly maybe

It felt like death itself had caught her in its massive maw, chilling her organs, reaching for the soul at the core of her.

OKAY FINE 👈😡👈

OKAY FINE YEAH THE REST OF THIS IS ALL CHEEKY FINGERGUNS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that said this is all RLY VITAL STORYTELLING and im rly glad we’ve got some expanded Glynda Lore because it was Lacking in the archived version... but now we’re full on until glynda backstory babey!!!!!!!! yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fear itself couldn’t touch her, and even as she thought this, she felt it drain away.

Her breathing slowed. Her body relaxed. Information trickled in, unburdened by emotion.

👈👈👈😡👈👈👈

glynda rly DOES only have half a braincell Huh

OKAY DATE TIME? DATE TIME? YES? MAYBE?????????????? god ive been looking forward to this stupid gay date for so long. EIGHT WEEKS. EIGHT.

A pause. “Are you familiar with the Hill of Roses Massacre?”

ah the return of the Plot (that Isnt The Gay Bit)

i was gonna Say A Thing, and then answered my own question, and then realised it’d be spoilers anyway. YAY SPOILERS! YAY NOT BEING ABLE 2 SAY ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so yeah theres a lot going on here dsdjhgf

“Well, it was your class, so.” She couldn’t help but smile at the memory.

/ticks off ‘anything to do w/ ozpin’ off the bingo card, again,

“I’m afraid it’s a bit more complicated than that, Glynda. With this meeting on the horizon… I fear I would cloud your judgement.”

oz i love u and yr cryptic bullshit but this will not the first Nor The Last Time glynda and i are both exasperated w/ u. please. blease.

Ozpin had never misled her before.

👈😂👈

“I’m only following orders.” Written with the same implication as a wink. “Now, is there anything else I can help you with, Professor?”

i fucking adore winter schnee i’d DIE for her

i may have to make a spoiler version of this later because theres Some Shit being said here and i DIRELY have to expand upon it but that will have 2 wait dskfjsdf

When they saw she was human, they waved her through without any trouble.

i still feel like im being targeted for my url!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! U ASSHOLES,

As much as she could, Glynda tried to avoid the constant bump of shoulders and too-tight quarters. As large as she was, it was nearly impossible,

what did i say!!!!!!!!!!!!! we LOVE one beefy bitch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(im literally getting SO excited for the date reveal im VIBRATING)

She still didn’t have much of an idea what waited within, but she had quite a few reservations about using the front door.

me: knows whats coming also me: glynda please

As a Huntress who’d been trained in both subtlety and stealth, Glynda had a few ideas.

The next person who stepped outside was thrown roughly aside,

ME: GLYNDA PLEASE,

you have no idea how often im just. i have my face in my hands. glynda’s never heard of a repercussion in her life. cinder once saw the word ‘consequences’ and broke out into hives. im. where’s the thinking-

And then she noticed Cinder.

here comes the peak gay im so ready HERE IT COMES-

Her hair was tossed over one shoulder as always, but in place of her usual crimson dress, she wore black tonight. Dark fabric with but a hint of iridescent specks rippled around her ankles, rising up to stretch tight across her hips. It rose all the way to the hollow of her throat and was cut to be sleeveless, though Cinder wore gloves of the same material that rose nearly to her shoulders.

HERE IT IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh my god u may know i drew a shitpost of this scene and now i Have to redraw it to be even Sexier!!!!!!!!!! also i know glynda could argue she’s being Observant but i also think, she’s a home of saxophone, and is gay,

LIKE ‘stretch tight across her hips’ WHY YA L O O K I N

Glass heels clicked over the dark stone floor as Cinder stopped right in front of Glynda, looking up at her from beneath lofty bangs. Gold eyes swept from the crown of Glynda’s head to the crop gripped so tightly in her hand—and then Cinder smiled.

there is No heterosexual explanation for this

Cinder clicked her tongue. “Well, now that you’re here, shall we?”

“Shall we…?”

“Glynda,” she chided, rolling her eyes. “Dinner, of course.”

IM LOSING MY MIND AAAAAAAAAAAAA THEY’RE LESBIANS HAROLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAROLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

okay. okay. this still isnt QUITE THE DATE CHAPTER BUT WE’RE RLY IN IT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im so scared that a whole chap has been saved for this meal because its going to be so long and charged w/ lesbian energy and its gonna kill me BUT OH WELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! anyway i loved it. the end.

#rwby #offal hunt #liveblog

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pinkicingshopp · 3 years

Text

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8 1 ptr leveling exper a I Wise Woman Once Said Damn It I'm Getting A Maine Coon T-Shirt ce reduced fifth azerite armor ring added raid testing. So this is going to be a bit long but bear with me I had what I believe to be a pointless and incredibly frustrating experience with the assistant manager jamie at your auburn hills great lakes crossing location today I have been coming here for three years I frequent your orlando san marcos and new jersey locations as well at least once a year when we stop we usually spend 5 to 10 thousand dollars on your products the system is simple I go in park in a corner and bring bins to my corner sort them bag them move them to the front register and repeat today I brought a personal duffel bag as it holds about 8 to 12 of your bags worth of stuff I get told that i’m not allowed to use it because it’s policy not a big deal at all I say okay i’ll do that for the rest rather than rebag all of this i’ll just go up in line and pay for it and it can sit behind the counter seems pretty reasonable to me nope I got obstructed suggested that I might be stealing something and not allowed to pass stating if I don’t want to follow the system I can leave he then takes my entire duffel dumps it onto the floor and then rebags it into victoria secret bags then moves it to the front counter so it can be rang in I thought this was a little odd but hey he was doing all the work rebagging it so whatever i’m like dude i’m going to be spending about 8k today all I want to do is come in spend some money get out without any drama what’s the problem whoevers in charge should be thrilled with a sale like this we’re spending 8k keep in mind that I told him that I would do what he wanted and it wasnt’ a big deal and the response was to the effect of stop being lippy and just listen I told him what do you want from me I just agreed with you and said I would use your bags i’m not being lippy at all I know this because I said okay dude not a problem i’ll use your bags his response was maybe if you get to buy it i’m like what are you suggesting that an 8 000 order is something you guys don’t want he’s like yeah if you buy it i’m like dude we are spending 8k today why would I bag up a bunch of stuff and spend 2 3 hours picking our your fabulous product to not buy it anyway so I had 4 credit cards one card had 2 000 one had 3500 one had 2000 and one had 1000 because I am buying for multiple people I had 4 different cards all in my name I wanted one receipt for each card not a big deal to me right wrong again he cited some policy and said if the order is more than 750 items that they aren’t allowed to ring in under 750 items on any one receipt id like to point out that that amount is higher than your employees said they could take as a cash payment I asked him to please show me that I would understand better if I could just read it he was willing to do so he brought out the policy book and to my surprise what it actually said was words to the afffect of cash payments cannot be split up or over 750 items I forget the second half my immediate reply was so what’s the big deal im using credit not cash he snatched the policy book away from me at that point and said you know what you can just listen to me or I don’t have to let you buy anything it’s up to my discretion I then called your orlando outlet and your new jersey outlet and talked to the store managers and cited your policy I was given I asked them to confirm if that was accurate and both said if it was a policy it was news to them I then asked if they would let me buy my order using 4 cards and 4 receipts the woman at orlando said oh my gosh yes we do that every single day I asked if I went to her store if I would have any trouble with this in the future and was told no then she said you can always come down here if you’re in the area and i’ll be happy to take your order after that phone call I tried again here’s the video of that attempt I said listen I have 4 credit cards your register girl said you told her she can’t ring up an order under 750 items that’s 3500 if it’s 5 items not all of my cards have that much I have done multiple receipts every time I came here heck I can even supply them to show it he tells me that because I am order so many items that I can’t have less tan 750 items per receipt so I point around to everyone else and ask what about everyone else you aren’t forcing them to spend a minimum of 750 items what about the final charge i’ll have 750 items for two tickets but the leftover isn’t going to be 750 items you’re not going to let me buy them he shrugged his shoulders to say no at this point I haven’t yelled ive been a bit snarky and sarcastic because I know he’s just giving me a hard time two people ring in our order almost every time I am up there and we were there 3 times in the last 6 months spent a bunch each time so at 730 8pm or so we are done shopping assuming that two people could ring us up ended up being a fantasy he forced one employee only to ring us up later on he comes up when its now close to 9pm and says hey you mind if we ring you up on both registers I chuckle and say no I don’t but you do you don’t want to be breaking that 750 rule do you he glared at me and then sent the employee away and walked off after blinking a few times I laugh because after telling me over and over he couldn’t do it he just got caught trying to do what should have been done to begin with a short while later after 9 I find out that everyone is standing uip front except for the one girl and another associate because none of the rest of them are allowed to help her ring us up the only two people left in the store with about 700 more items to be rang in if that’s not enough since it was a holidy all of these employees are apparently being paid overtime to stand around and wait at a bit after 10 all but two girls leave and one girl is waiting to count cash while the other girl sits and keeps ringing stuff in we apologize profusely we expected two employees to ring us up like always and timed our visit to be out around 9 if this had happened instead of having one literally stand there and watch her for 1 hour and 47 minutes after close we would have all been out on time and no overtime or extra hours spent so finally at 10 47 pm our orders are done we thank the lovely girl lauren and jasmine who got stuck staying 2 hours past close because a manager made up some random policy and had to double down when I pointed out he really needed to follow that 750 rule when he was going to toss another girl on the register if this is policy fine it doesn’t seem to be no manager at your other outlets knew what he was talking about the orlando one insisted that the only restrictions are on cash payments and verified I was paying cash or credit it’s a pretty humiliating experience to get hassled trying to buy panties and bras by someone who’s on some type of power trip the only thing I said sideways to him was that I flat out didn’t believe his policy and that credit absolutely is not the same as cash I didnt call him any names scream at him or did anything to disrupt the store beyond what you see in the videos if this is not policy i’d like an apology from that manager in person or over the phone admitting he was mistaken I would hope that the next time I go there I am not hassled but if not I guess there’s always orlando or new jersey who seem to be quite friendly I also want to give recognition to jasmine and lauren lauren is the poor soul who got stuck ringing everything in alone because of the manager’s silly rule and not allowing anyone to help because it would be in violation of the 750 item rule jasmine was the cash counter who had to wait until we were out of the store to count cash even more interesting is that I had a former employee with me helping me buy and she said she never heard of this policy either but it doesn’t mean it wasn’t added since she left she was just as confused because the manager spent over 30 minutes trying to explain and defend this when that time certainly would have been more efficiently spent doing productive things instead of hassling someone who literally sits in a corner and speaks to no one while sorting through your products one bin at a time id love a call back about this or to find out what exactly is going on ive never been hassled like this before and it was a little frustrating and very trying to keep my cool joe rossetti alexandria gunn. Placed an order back in july and earned 30 in children’s place cash that couldn’t be spent until mid september ordered 60 in september so I could use the 3 coupons not only did you drop 2 items from my order saying they were no longer available you refused to reissue my 30 in coupons after you lost my package but I didn’t learn and I ordered from you again with a 30 off coupon I just received an email stating that yet another item in my new order is no longer available let’s see if the rest of my order will arrive p s I ordered from carter’s after I ordered from you and their order has already arrived get your act together children’s place See Other related products: I Wise Woman Once Said Damn It I'm Getting A Maine Coon T-Shirt

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teehamster · 3 years

Text

Christmas Funny Pajamas Let'S Get Lit Christmas Funny Raglan Baseball T Shirt

So this is going to be a Christmas Funny Pajamas Let'S Get Lit Christmas Funny Raglan Baseball T Shirt bit long but bear with me I had what I believe to be a pointless and incredibly frustrating experience with the assistant manager jamie at your auburn hills great lakes crossing location today I have been coming here for three years I frequent your orlando san marcos and new jersey locations as well at least once a year when we stop we usually spend 5 to 10 thousand dollars on your products the system is simple I go in park in a corner and bring bins to my corner sort them bag them move them to the front register and repeat today I brought a personal duffel bag as it holds about 8 to 12 of your bags worth of stuff I get told that i’m not allowed to use it because it’s policy not a big deal at all I say okay i’ll do that for the rest rather than rebag all of this i’ll just go up in line and pay for it and it can sit behind the counter seems pretty reasonable to me nope I got obstructed suggested that I might be stealing something and not allowed to pass stating if I don’t want to follow the system I can leave he then takes my entire duffel dumps it onto the floor and then rebags it into victoria secret bags then moves it to the front counter so it can be rang in I thought this was a little odd but hey he was doing all the work rebagging it so whatever i’m like dude i’m going to be spending about 8k today all I want to do is come in spend some money get out without any drama what’s the problem whoevers in charge should be thrilled with a sale like this we’re spending 8k keep in mind that I told him that I would do what he wanted and it wasnt’ a big deal and the response was to the effect of stop being lippy and just listen I told him what do you want from me I just agreed with you and said I would use your bags i’m not being lippy at all I know this because I said okay dude not a problem i’ll use your bags his response was maybe if you get to buy it i’m like what are you suggesting that an 8 000 order is something you guys don’t want he’s like yeah if you buy it i’m like dude we are spending 8k today why would I bag up a bunch of stuff and spend 2 3 hours picking our your fabulous product to not buy it anyway so I had 4 credit cards one card had 2 000 one had 3500 one had 2000 and one had 1000 because I am buying for multiple people I had 4 different cards all in my name I wanted one receipt for each card not a big deal to me right wrong again he cited some policy and said if the order is more than 750 items that they aren’t allowed to ring in under 750 items on any one receipt id like to point out that that amount is higher than your employees said they could take as a cash payment I asked him to please show me that I would understand better if I could just read it he was willing to do so he brought out the policy book and to my surprise what it actually said was words to the afffect of cash payments cannot be split up or over 750 items I forget the second half my immediate reply was so what’s the big deal im using credit not cash he snatched the policy book away from me at that point and said you know what you can just listen to me or I don’t have to let you buy anything it’s up to my discretion I then called your orlando outlet and your new jersey outlet and talked to the store managers and cited your policy I was given I asked them to confirm if that was accurate and both said if it was a policy it was news to them I then asked if they would let me buy my order using 4 cards and 4 receipts the woman at orlando said oh my gosh yes we do that every single day I asked if I went to her store if I would have any trouble with this in the future and was told no then she said you can always come down here if you’re in the area and i’ll be happy to take your order after that phone call I tried again here’s the video of that attempt I said listen I have 4 credit cards your register girl said you told her she can’t ring up an order under 750 items that’s 3500 if it’s 5 items not all of my cards have that much I have done multiple receipts every time I came here heck I can even supply them to show it he tells me that because I am order so many items that I can’t have less tan 750 items per receipt so I point around to everyone else and ask what about everyone else you aren’t forcing them to spend a minimum of 750 items what about the final charge i’ll have 750 items for two tickets but the leftover isn’t going to be 750 items you’re not going to let me buy them he shrugged his shoulders to say no at this point I haven’t yelled ive been a bit snarky and sarcastic because I know he’s just giving me a hard time two people ring in our order almost every time I am up there and we were there 3 times in the last 6 months spent a bunch each time so at 730 8pm or so we are done shopping assuming that two people could ring us up ended up being a fantasy he forced one employee only to ring us up later on he comes up when its now close to 9pm and says hey you mind if we ring you up on both registers I chuckle and say no I don’t but you do you don’t want to be breaking that 750 rule do you he glared at me and then sent the employee away and walked off after blinking a few times I laugh because after telling me over and over he couldn’t do it he just got caught trying to do what should have been done to begin with a short while later after 9 I find out that everyone is standing uip front except for the one girl and another associate because none of the rest of them are allowed to help her ring us up the only two people left in the store with about 700 more items to be rang in if that’s not enough since it was a holidy all of these employees are apparently being paid overtime to stand around and wait at a bit after 10 all but two girls leave and one girl is waiting to count cash while the other girl sits and keeps ringing stuff in we apologize profusely we expected two employees to ring us up like always and timed our visit to be out around 9 if this had happened instead of having one literally stand there and watch her for 1 hour and 47 minutes after close we would have all been out on time and no overtime or extra hours spent so finally at 10 47 pm our orders are done we thank the lovely girl lauren and jasmine who got stuck staying 2 hours past close because a manager made up some random policy and had to double down when I pointed out he really needed to follow that 750 rule when he was going to toss another girl on the register if this is policy fine it doesn’t seem to be no manager at your other outlets knew what he was talking about the orlando one insisted that the only restrictions are on cash payments and verified I was paying cash or credit it’s a pretty humiliating experience to get hassled trying to buy panties and bras by someone who’s on some type of power trip the only thing I said sideways to him was that I flat out didn’t believe his policy and that credit absolutely is not the same as cash I didnt call him any names scream at him or did anything to disrupt the store beyond what you see in the videos if this is not policy i’d like an apology from that manager in person or over the phone admitting he was mistaken I would hope that the next time I go there I am not hassled but if not I guess there’s always orlando or new jersey who seem to be quite friendly I also want to give recognition to jasmine and lauren lauren is the poor soul who got stuck ringing everything in alone because of the manager’s silly rule and not allowing anyone to help because it would be in violation of the 750 item rule jasmine was the cash counter who had to wait until we were out of the store to count cash even more interesting is that I had a former employee with me helping me buy and she said she never heard of this policy either but it doesn’t mean it wasn’t added since she left she was just as confused because the manager spent over 30 minutes trying to explain and defend this when that time certainly would have been more efficiently spent doing productive things instead of hassling someone who literally sits in a corner and speaks to no one while sorting through your products one bin at a time id love a call back about this or to find out what exactly is going on ive never been hassled like this before and it was a little frustrating and very trying to keep my cool joe rossetti alexandria gunn. 8 1 ptr leveling experience reduced fifth azerite armor ring added raid testing. 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fiercyy · 7 years

Text

to call for hands from above

Summary: Rukia’s life, 50 years onward.

Partially inspired by @deathberryprompts ‘release’, the song Heartbeats by José González and my own saltiness. This probably should have been a chapter fic, but I do not have the time sooooooo…

Also, hi yes, I do not acknowledge canon so I won’t even write post-canon fix-its apparently. They bum me out. Have a canon divergence instead:

. .

Fifty years After, Rukia stops visiting the living world.

She is a captain now, with innumerable responsibilities. Not to mention the weight of the Kuchiki name; a load her brother has slowly begun to share with her.

She fills her days with paperwork, training, a standing appointment for tea with Kyoraku-Soutaichou and Shinigami Women’s Association meetings. She fills her nights with dinners with her brother, drinks with Renji, Rangiku and Nanao, anything to pass the hours and the quiet.

. .

Tatsuki Arisawa shows up on the roster of Academy graduates and Rukia drafts her immediately. If there’s one thing that her year in the living world taught her, it’s that one can never have too many friends around.

. .

ii.

“Do you remember how you died?” Rukia asks, with little sensitivity, over ice cream.

Tatsuki, with her mouth full, shakes her head, “I hope it was awesome though.”

Never one to concern herself with the details, Tatsuki considers herself satisfied with how it all turned out. She lived a good life, became a prize fighter, had a nice girl. She was middle aged when she died, but she doesn’t feel cheated. This life is as good as any. She feels worse for the people she left behind. She doesn’t know who she worries about more; Ichigo or Orihime.

Discovering she’d been right about Rukia all along was nice.

“Do you remember how you died-? AH SHIT,” she grips her head, “Brainfreeze.”

“I was a baby.”

While massaging her temples Tatsuki grunts, “Well that’s a huge bummer. Don’t tell people that.”

Despite herself, Rukia laughs.

. .

iii.

Sex adds an element of complexity to relationships that she finds wholly unnecessary. Men can be so emotional about it. But a woman has needs.

And when you’re a captain, your pool narrows considerably. Conflicts of interest, gossip, hero-worship: all things worth avoiding in a bedmate.

In the end, she picks a fellow captain. A comrade, not a friend. They respect each other enough to be upfront about what it is. It’s sporadic but it’s good; an exercise in stress relief and banking flames.

Neither of them makes more of it than it is.

Rukia is not looking for a partner.

He has his own issues to work through.

. .

iv.

Rukia has become a good teacher. She selects her protégés for their fire and spirit. Many of them have risen through the ranks and she couldn’t be prouder.

Occasionally she’ll write recommendations, and she is never more brimming with smugness than when another captain writes back to tell her that her faith was well placed.

Tatsuki says she’d make a great motivational speaker. From what she can gather, this is apparently a profession in the living world. Just talking to people and telling them how to live their lives? She supposes she would be good at that. She’s had a lot of practice.

. .

One day, Byakuya makes an appointment with her. This is an odd occurrence, not because they never spend time together, but because they live together. He would see her later for dinner.

“Nii-sama, is everything alright?”

He nods and gracefully moves to her personal sitting area. She follows, confused.

“Is this an urgent matter?”

“Not at all.”

He stands until she invites him to sit, as is customary. She calls for Kiyone to make tea, then takes a seat across from him.

They are long past the stage when Rukia feels uncomfortable around him. She understands him far better now and he has made an immense effort to do the same.

“I came here because this is an official matter and I felt this setting would be most appropriate. Over the past few years, I’ve given you more and more responsibilities to prepare you, as my heir.”

“Your guidance and trust have been greatly appreciated, I am honoured by it.”

“When you were promoted to Captain, I had something commissioned for you. It is deservedly yours, as it should have been long ago.” Byakuya places a cherry wood box on the table. It’s so smooth that it shines and gleams in the light. Her name, in full, is written in ornate characters on the lid.

Rukia flips open the gold latch and opens the box. Nestled on a bed of pure, white silk is a kenseikan. Three perfect white ridges. She runs her fingers along each peak and looks up at her brother with wide eyes. “I- I don’t know what to say.”

Byakuya stands and walks around the table then kneels at her side. The panic of unknown variables and unfamiliar territory makes Rukia’s heart flutter. “Allow me.” He takes the kenseikan and begins to braid it into her hair. Yuzu used to practice braiding hers and Karin’s hair. This feels just like that; like family, familiarity and home.

She respects her brother, always has. She loves him, has for many years now. She has grown comfortable with him. But this is something new. This is normality, this is intimate and real. This is the final mark of his acceptance. This is a welcome that she has never expected, never could have dreamed up.

She feels the tears burning in her eyes, but her smile is wide. And when he’s done and pulls away, she can see him clearly.

“Thank you Nii-sama.”

“You are very welcome, Rukia.”

And Rukia feels it.

. .

vi.

Rukia relearns lacking dignity.

Alone in Soul Society, she allows herself to be the way she was in the living world, in Rukongai. She allows herself to be gruff and impatient and silly. She tells jokes and draws all of her officers birthday cards by hand. Her characters have become famous. Kiyone and Tatsuki tell her that they pass them around the division like trading cards. Kiyone is the first to collect a full set.

. .

vii.

She asks Renji to give her a tattoo.

She spends half a day, lying on her stomach as he takes a stick and poke to her back.

“Mine are about all my battles,” he tells her, with the needle in his teeth as he dabs at a painful bit where it’s started to bleed. “Yours is about you.”

He only laughs a little when she whines at the pain.

Rangiku, who holds her hand through most of it, laughs a lot.

. .

viii.

She has a good life. She’s surrounded by people who love and respect her. On her own merits, for herself. She has work worth doing. A world to shape. People to lead. She has followed her dreams and ambitions, and they led her here.

Her life is not empty without him, it’s not. It’s full to bursting with purpose, light and love.

But sometimes.

In the dark, in a bed that is empty except for her, she wonders. In the morning, when she wakes up alone and has no one to kiss goodbye. When she has a quiet moment in the park and a breeze lifts her hair just right and she can practically see him in the distance. In battle, when she can hear his voice and feel him at her back.

She wonders what might have been.

What if she had let him love her? What if she had stayed? What if she had taken him with her? What if she shared her life with him?

She does not often second guess herself, but somewhere in the living world there is a human boy who always gave her pause.

Her life is good and full. But having him would be so much better than not having him.

. .

And you, you knew the hand of the devil And you, kept us awake with wolf teeth Sharing different heartbeats In one night

footnote i.

Fifty years after the war, Rukia stopped visiting the living world and this is why:

It was a warm summer day, the pavement swam under the sun’s scrutiny. Ishida was the one to call her. He had retired from the hospital and spent his days with his family or sewing dresses and costumes for loved ones and on commission. His hands were just as steady and capable as they always were, despite his age. Though, his glasses had slowly thickened over the years.

“How are you?”

“I’m well, how are you? How is everyone?” She didn’t mark his brusque tone as anything out of the ordinary, that was just Ishida.

“…Everyone is fine,” It was in the pause that she found something to worry about. “You should visit. Today. Before three o’clock.”

She hesitated, “I have a lot of work to do, I don’t know that I can get out to the human world before then.”

“Make time,” he told her.

The fear manifested in her chest like an anchor pulling her down, the air left her lungs in a gasp. “Ishida, what’s happened?”

“I can explain when you come.”

She left that very minute. Kiyone was left in charge.

She bolted through the senkaimon and did not bother with a gigai. They met at the entrance to the hospital. Ishida’s wrinkled expression was grim and familiar. He gestured for her to follow. He led her through the white halls, the milling doctors, nurses, patients and families, before stopping at the entrance to a third-floor ward.

“What’s happened?”

He must have seen the fear in her eyes.

“Rukia,” he had never before called her that, “It’s Ichigo.” She moved to shove past him, but he stopped her. “He’s been here for a while. We’ve been thinking about how to tell you-“

“What have you been keeping from me?!”

“-Today is a good day, that’s why I called you. He’s having a good day.”

“What does that mean? Then why is he here?”

Ichigo was 67 years old, any manner of horrible things could have befallen him, weakened and wizened as he’s become. She saw him. She just saw him. When was that? A few weeks? Maybe a few months. She couldn’t recall but she just saw him. He had to be fine.

“He’s sick, I just wanted to warn you before you saw him.”

For fifty years she had tried to keep a respectful distance. What was it for? So much time wasted.

“Take me to him,” she said imperiously. “Right now.”

Ishida obliged.

He had his own room. Yuzu was sitting beside him in a faded brown leather chair. Rukia was glad that he wasn’t alone. They were chatting quietly and he had a smile on his face. Relief washed over her body like a warm shower.

“Ichigo.” It hadn’t been that long since they’d seen each other, but she’d missed him. She took her place on his other side and smiled down at him.

His hair had faded into a peachy white fuzz, his eyes were milky with cataracts. But the folds of his face couldn’t conceal the man he was. If anything, they were just his teenaged scowl lines made more prominent.

She could shake herself. Death wasn’t the end for them. She had to remember that.

“Rukia,” he smiled, “Been a while.”

“Yes, how are you feeling?” the knot of anxiety was loosening now that she could see him. He was fine. He seemed fine.

“As good as can be expected.” He smiled up at Yuzu, who was not looking reassured.

“It’s good to see you Rukia-chan.”

“You too Yuzu.”

“Why are you dressed like that?” asked Ichigo.

Rukia quirked a brow and looked down at herself. She supposed he meant why wasn’t she in a gigai, but she didn’t always have the time.

“You look like you’re playing dress up, midget. I mean, unless you got promoted twice and didn’t tell me.”

“Excuse me?”

“You’re wearing a captain’s robe,” he said like she was the one being an idiot.

Rukia didn’t know what to do. She glanced back and forth between Yuzu and Ishida helplessly. Something was very wrong.

. .

footnote ii.

Dementia, she learned later, was a horrible human disease. It ate at the mind until there was nothing left.

It was explained to her that sometimes he was out of place in time and sometimes he didn’t recognize anyone at all.

For months she returned to the living world as often as possible. It was an immense strain. She was caught between feeling guilty that she couldn’t visit more often and never ever coming back again.

Because more and more often, he stopped knowing her face. As he grew weaker, he grew more confused. His mind was failing him. He would have fits of anger and frustration that she would quell as best she could, but sometimes she felt like she was making it worse.

She wanted to be there for him. She wanted to be his partner.

But she had other responsibilities that yanked her back.

She was considering taking a leave of absence, but then she visited the living world one last time.

. .

footnote iii.

Ishida said this could go on for years yet. She wondered if dying sooner was what was best for him. He’d have a life waiting for him. He’d be healthy, he’d have his full faculties. Here, life was cruel. There was no end in sight. He was out to sea, far from the relief of shore.

But for today, he was alright. Today was a good day.

“You saw Tatsuki on the roster huh?”

“Yes, she’ll be graduating soon. I’ll tell her you say hello.”

“I miss her, she’s been dead for 20 years, send her over for a visit when you can?”

“Of course,” Rukia promised, willing to deny him nothing. “You’ll be upset, she’s looking a lot better than you.”

“Most people are, these days.”

“Well, you were never that handsome to begin with.”

“Hey, I did alright.”

Her hands found his. “Passable at best.”

They lapsed into a companionable silence.

“Do you ever think of dying now? Of skipping this part?” she hated herself for saying it, but also wondered if anyone else had asked him if he wanted the option. “We agreed you should stay because you deserved to have a life. This isn’t living, this is waiting. This is disappearing. This is exactly what I wanted to spare you.”

“Nah,” he said, sighing a gust of 67 years of breath. “I think I’ve gotta see this thing through.”

“I understand,” she didn’t, not really, but that may have been because she loved him.

“You don’t have to watch, you could-“

“If you finish that sentence I’ll put you out of your misery now,” she growled, without thinking. How dare he? But that was out of bounds.

“I don’t want you to watch. I want you to see me as the man I was.”

“You’re still that man, the same man you’ve always been in my heart.”

“I’m not. You think I don’t know how you feel when I don’t recognise you? Let me paint you a picture.” His tone was light but she flinched nonetheless. “It feels like the person who knew you better than anyone else in the universe suddenly doesn’t know who you are. It feels like talking at a wall. Like no matter what you do it won’t leave an impression. It feels like you’re on fire and no matter what you do, nothing helps and you can’t breathe and living hurts. Except-“ And here he took her hand in his and squeezed it as tightly as he could, which wasn’t much. “Except I dealt with it for hours. I could fight to fix it. I can’t drag this out for you. It’s a disease, there’s no fighting it. Only waiting.”

Ichigo touched her face and it was the first time she realised that she had been crying.

“I’ll still be waiting, here or there, it doesn’t work like that. I can’t just stop-”

“Let me go. I’ll find you, I swear I will. When this is all over I am going to come back to you.”

“I don’t understand why you have to go through this,” she drew that hand to her mouth and held it there. “Please.” She didn’t know what she was praying for.

“Thank you, Rukia, for giving me this life. For giving me this time. Wait for me a little longer?”

“Please don’t make me go.”

“It’s not up to you.”

“Well it’s not up to you either! What was this all for?!” she demanded, “Am I your partner or aren’t I? You can’t have it both ways.” She was screaming now. “I don’t need you to be brave for me, you idiot! I’m plenty brave. I love you and you need me!”

“Rukia, please-”

“Ichigo, I can stay. I can help you, I don’t care if you don’t remember me. You shouldn’t have to be alone. I don’t want to leave you!” Kuchikis do not get hysterical, but it was a near thing.

“What did I tell you? Your opinions are hereby rejected.”

That was ten years ago.

One night to be confused One night to speed up truth We had a promise made Four hands and then away

. .

ix.

She’s been grooming Tatsuki.

She’s a powerful woman with raw talent and the instincts of a prize fighter. Rukia enjoys training her. It’s like directing a tornado or a hurricane. “Again.” She commands. With a twitch of her wrist, Tatsuki’s zanpakuto flies into the air and plants itself twenty feet behind her.

“Every time we do this it gets more humiliating,” Tatsuki moans, “I feel like you’re trying harder. Were you not trying before?”

“She just wants to look cool while she kicks your ass,” Renji chimes in from the sidelines.

“That’s just not fair,” she pants, hands on her knees.

“If I’m making eye contact with you, it means you’ve improved.”

“Oh come on!”

“I could bring out the paperwork and read some of it over while we do this if that would make you feel better.” Rukia’s grin shows all her teeth. She smugly turns her nose up as she goads the other woman into battle. “Come on Arisawa, don’t you think you can hold my attention?”

“I’ll hold your attention alright…” she grumbles under her breath before picking up her sword and charging again. “Haaaaaaaayaaaaah— OW! OW! OW!”

Rukia pushes Tatsuki’s sword aside with the back of her knuckles, putting her off-balance. She then hits her directly in the funny bone.

“You’re the worst.”

At Renji’s snort, Rukia’s gaze cuts up towards him, “Glad you’re enjoying yourself, want to take a turn?”

“You want to pick on someone your own size? I don’t want to embarrass you in front of your squad.”

“What was that Lieutenant?” Given that the air in the courtyard lowers by several degrees, Renji does the wise thing and shuts up. Rukia’s disposition immediately shifts to sunny. To Tatsuki, she crooks her finger, “Come at me again, this time try to remember that you were a championship fighter and cover yourself when you strike.”

When she turns around there is a man in the centre of the courtyard. “Yo.”

A roundhouse kick would have knocked the wind out of her if Rukia hadn’t already lost her breath.

She goes from doubled over to running before she has the chance to think. Rukia collides with the man full force. She threads her fingers tightly into his orange hair and pulls from the roots, yanking him towards her in a passionate, feral kiss.

Eventually, she forces herself to pull away so she can stare at his face.

“I told you I’d come as soon as I could.”

Her life was full. She did not need him. She missed him. She wanted him so badly.

And now that he’s here, her world is complete.

. .

To Call For Hands From Above, To Lean On

#ichiruki #ichigo x rukia #bleach fanfiction #ichiruki fanfiction #deathberryprompts #deathberry100 #ichigo kurosaki #rukia kuchiki #my fic #woah this thing is a monster #should have been a chapter fic #I know it's sappy but have you seen canon?????#bleach

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monolid-monologues · 6 years

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Re: Sep 9-Oct 7th horoscope

sun: aries rising: scorpio

{ horoscope as a tool for reflection }

CLICK TO KEEP READING. >>>

From Chani Nicholas

for Aries sun:

Remaining open to opportunity feels near impossible when life has been relentless with us, but be careful not to shut down the entire system just because you’ve run into a challenge.

You need to know you are on your own side.

So im moving to LA because my mom happens to live there and ive been really nervous about moving so close to the mainstream entertainment capital of amerika. i reject industry assimilation. this problematizes any pursuit of lucrative/popular/obvious opportunities in my art field. im going back to socal where i grew up, knowing virtually nothing about dope LA theatre. im not excited about working in mainstream theaters. My experience at GFTF here in Davis has been really complicated. The devised performances i made with Ahash and Karina were beautiful experiences; i’m proud of us!!! Outside of the devising space, my last two weeks at GFTF have been spiritually, politically, creatively difficult for me. My interest in mainstream spaces is near ZERO. But i am skeptical of my absolutism. i reflect on the doors presented to me, particularly the ones i might ignore, thinking i know myself and i know what i want and don’t want for myself. If the “entire system” is in reference to the industry i am entering.....maybe i could loosen up on its potential; being in LA, entanglement with mainstream practice is perhaps unavoidable. But also, as i write, i grow more certain that my dreams, and goals, can’t be found in mainstream processes. So i’m back to this: take it slow, take it confidently, take it humbly.

Reclaim yourself from the isolation tanks of your ego each and every day. Your ego loves to trick you into thinking that you are in this alone. It loves to trick you into thinking that your problems are too unique to be understood by any another. It loves to trick you into thinking that being defended against life is your only option against being hurt by it.

Stay open to yourself.

i’m working on balance. Balancing the privacy i truly need & the open communication that allows vulnerability. These days, i am raw. My heart is on my sleeve. i am working hard on my demons. At this time, i must remember that all the work i’m doing to know myself better should beware of cementing who i think i am, who i think i want to be..that the beautiful fluid multiple nature of my existence also thrives from never knowing quite enough.

September’s full moon articulates the challenging. Peaking in your sign, this full moon makes very clear the obstacles in your path and what it will take to get around them. Professionally, what you are up against is considerable, but it is incredibly important to become familiar with its intricacies. Knowing what you are dealing with is half the battle. Knowing your opponent allows you to choose your strategy with care. Knowing the scenario means that you can have a better understanding of where you are and why.

Bringing me back to thinking about unavoidable entanglements with an industry I disagree with on so many levels.... Bringing me, also, to my anxieties around working in an office job, working for my dad, while working as an artist.

Like glitter from last week’s party, how you respond to the things that you are faced with now will tend to hover around you for a while. You don’t have to know what to do to solve the entire situation. You just have to show up and be willing to work it out as honestly as you can.

Honesty, honesty, honesty What am i feeling, what am i doing, what am i feeding myself.. What am i sabotaging? Where am i stuck? The stakes....my dreams..my goals..my integrity. my character. my work ethic. Postgrad transitioning feelin sooooo fkng vulnerable to EVERYTHING RIGHT NOW. Everything i do, everyone i share time with, every decision i make or don’t make. it all feels so fking formative. i feel like an open wound

for Scorpio rising:

September’s full moon wants you to reap the professional benefits of all you have poured your heart and soul into these past few seasons. The fields that you have tilled and toiled over are providing life-sustaining substance for the months to come, though they may not be as easily harvested as you’d like.

Follow-through/fall out on creative projects is a source of anxiety for me. As u and me plan for a future project, i ask myself to have faith in what we’ve built together so far. Question: when is a good time to worry? when is a bad a time to worry? “not .. as easily harvested as you’d like”.. - my pace, your pace, and the universe’s. three different entities seeking synchronization. Are the odds in our favor?

What you do in the difficult times matters. You might not be able to solve every problem, work out every difficulty, or find every solution to your situation right now, but the way you carry the load that you have been given has a lasting impact.

This moment is supposed to feel a little like a tight squeeze. Don’t mistake a slow flow for an all out drought. Cultivate patience, persistence, and a trust in what leaves.

This is a time to cut away the parts that are taking too much from the whole.

As the end of September and the beginning of October unfold, give yourself permission to retreat from any unnecessary noise. There is a deep and private energetic reboot going on within you. Time and space is necessary to do the required releasing. Scorpio is home to Venus’s next retrograde. Preparing for that long, and incredibly deep, journey is a wise and much needed strategy.

i lost some things in September that i’d found in Vermont. Living off-grid, at beautiful Sable..retreat is plain. But here? +to do: proper prep as a self-care item, in anticipation of the coming 2019 year. I AM A BLOOMING WOMXN. I AM A BUD. i am paying attention.

#aries #chani nicholas #scorpio #writing

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yasandtaetae · 7 years

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Get To Know Me Tag

Rules: Answer the 20 questions in a new post and tag 20 blogs you would like to get to know better. Nickname: My middle name is Yasmine which is what I go by, but people call me Yazzy for short sometimes..., I don't really have a nickname, I guess Im kinda boring since no one has given me a nickname😂

Gender: Female

Star Sign: Pisces 🐠 Height: 158cm / 5'2

Time right now: it's 12:47 am 😬hehehe

Last thing I googled: The King Of Queens(TV show) LOL because Ive been watching that show a lot lately and I wanted to find out what year the show aired and when did it end.

Favorite Bands: Kpop: I actually am not an actual "fan" , in the sense of the word, of any other group other than BTS but rather casually listen to other groups. I really like some of Big bangs music, and also really like song "Fly" from Epik High. The only girl group I have liked is 2ne1, but they're gone :(

Non-Kpop: A while back I was into Backstreet Boys' music. Since I was little I have always liked Destinys Child, and still do and I also still listen to them regularly.

Favorite Solo Artists: Kpop: This is a side of kpop I need to explore more. I dont know many, but I would say Taeyang! I like his songs and love his voice.

Non-Kpop: I mainly like Soul and Hip Hop music. When it comes to Hip Hop though, I only like the hip hop music that doesnt have sexually explicit lyrics and has more of a life lesson and meaning behind it, also songs with a good beat lol. I like Alicia Keys Music, lately I’ve been listening a lot to her album “Songs In a Minor”, I love that album. Also I have been liking the Weeknd music, and listen to older Rihanna songs.

Song stuck in your head: Burnin Love by Elvis LOL my grandma is watching Elvis Presley’s concert in the other room so it’s stuck in my head now

Last movie I watched: I dont like watching TV all that much, so I cant even remember what movie it was... oh wait nevermind the last movie I saw was Frozen lol and that was like a month ago.

Show I watched: She Was Pretty/ King Of Queens

When did you create your blog: Over a year ago, I want to say December 2015

What kind of stuff do you post: Nothing special, I just reblog posts I like.

When did your blog reach its peak: It hasn’t

Do you have any other blogs: No

Do you get asks regularly: No

Why you chose your URL: I made this account when Taehyung was my favorite member, so it’s the first three letters of mine and Taehyung’s name together

Following: like 40? Posts: over 300

Hogwarts House: I took a quiz for this three times on different websites. The first time I got Slytherin, then on another quiz I got Gryfindor, but the last quiz my results were this VVV

“So, you're 27% Hufflepuff, 26% Gryffindor, 24% Slytherin, and 23% Ravenclaw! You seem to be an almost perfect combination of all four houses, which is incredibly rare – you’re equal in your intelligence, bravery, loyalty, and ambition. As we know, though, the Sorting Hat takes your preference into account...so it looks like you get to choose your own house. Congratulations”

I guess I would say I feel I would belong more in Huffle Puff. But a lil bit of Slytherin maybe

Pokémon Team: Based on the description probably team instinct

Favorite colors: I love so many colors honestly, but to be real I tend to gravitate towards black most of the time.

Average hours of sleep: I dont have a speific time I go to sleep, but I take a lot of naps so I think through the whole day I get maybe 10 hrs sleep a day? I would sleep longer but my grandma wont let me lol

Lucky Numbers: I wanna say 6 or 3 or 10

Favorite Characters: Courage from courage the cowardly dog.

What are you wearing right now: My pajamas! A white spaghetti strap tank top and some pajama bottoms

How many blankets do you sleep with: I love fluffy warm blankets, but I get hot easily so I sleep with either a sheet and comforter, or a throw blanket. Unless it’s Summer and I have my air conditioner on full blast I like to cuddle in a big fluffy blanket.

Dream job: Well if it were a dream I would want to be singer, songwriter, or something with music, but let’s be honest, I aint got no talent, so a realistic dream job would be to be a language translator.

Dream trip: I love learning about different cultures so I most definitely have one too many places I want to see, but I reallyyyy want to go to Dubai or Japan for a trip one day.

I got this Tag Game from @lolbtsaus so Im going to tag just a couple of my fave blogs to follow. But dont feel obligated to do it, you dont have to if you dont want to(: @kimmy-trans @bangtan-mental @officerjungkookbts

#gettoknowmetag #Im not known on here but oh well I thought it would be fun to answer

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aliencrybby · 5 years

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Nov/Dec 2018 Monthly Tarot

1. The Chariot VII

2. The Emperor IV

3. The World XXI

4. 10 Wands (reversed)

5. 9 Wands (reversed)

6. 7 Pentacles

7. Page Wands

8. Queen Swords

9. The Magician I

Conscious (Ideas, dreams & aspirations)

Past: The Chariot

Present: The Emperor

Future: The World

Card 1, Conscious Past: The Chariot

The Chariot is a card of willpower, determination and strength. You have discovered how to make decisions in alignment with your values with the Lovers card, and now you are taking action on those decisions. When the Chariot appears in a Tarot reading, take it as a sign of encouragement. You have set your objectives and are now channelling your inner power with a fierce dedication to bring them to fruition. When you apply discipline, commitment and willpower to achieve your goals, you will succeed.

Now isn’t the time to be passive in the hope that things will work out in your favour. Take focused action and stick to the course, no matter what challenges may come your way – because, believe me, there will be challenges. You may be pulled in opposite directions and find your strength and conviction tested. Others may try to block you, distract you, or drag down the pursuit of your goal. But the Chariot is an invitation to draw upon your willpower and home in on what’s essential to you, so you can push past the obstacles in your way.

If you are curious about whether you have what it takes to achieve your aim or complete an important project, the Chariot is a sign you will be successful so long as you keep your focus and remain confident in your abilities. You need to use your willpower and self-discipline to concentrate on the task at hand. You can’t cut corners or take the easy route, or you will fail. Instead, see this endeavour as a test of your strength and conviction, and recognise that victory is within reach, but it’s up to you to follow through.

The Chariot calls you to assert yourself and be courageous. Be bold in expressing your desires and laying down your boundaries; otherwise, you will not get your way. You need to have faith in yourself and know fundamentally who you are and what you stand for (thus building off the personal belief systems and values established through the Lovers card).

In a very literal sense, the Chariot can represent travel, especially driving or taking a road trip. You may even be considering selling your home and buying an RV so you can head off and roam the country!

Source: ‘The Chariot Card Meanings’ by Biddy Tarot

This card speaks to me about the efforts I have made this year to fight for my career & artistic direction, particularly after a low blow in a menial job and finding myself unemployed 2 months after moving to a new area on my own. It also makes me think about the arduous process of my recent arts grant application which saw me putting myself out there by sharing my vision & ideas with other working artists & practitioners. The grant application-writing process tested my discipline & made me seriously contemplate my desires & motivations regarding my creative practice. I had to ask myself who I want to be as an artist & why? What do I want to achieve; how do I want to achieve it; what purpose does it serve? Which communities does it speak to & why? Completing the grant application & project outline meant actioning things I didn’t think I could do, contacting people who I thought were ‘out of my reach’ or ‘too important to talk to me’. That might sound like no big deal to some ppl; but as a working-class immigrant WoC outside the gates of accumulated privilege or white liberal arts circles of academia, this is a big deal. I had this division in my mind about who I was allowed to reach out to, what I had access to. I allowed myself to believe these lies due to repeated conditioning & systemically enforced idealogies. But I made it easier for it to permeate because deep down I feared my own failure/success. For a while now, I’ve been working to shift this perception. And I’m in the constant process of dismantling this ingrained colonialist idea in my life. Hopefully, my efforts can help others do the same too.

In a spiritual sense, I’ve done a lot of work to rise above & grow beyond the limitations of past traumas and hurts. I’ve worked this year like a dang boss to seek the roots of my anxieties & fears, in this life & in other iterations, addressing my experiences and the legacy of intergenerational trauma.

I’ve done an excavation of my dankest inner sludge built up from years & many years of traumas and bottled up hurts. I turned the soil inside my soul and planted new seeds of health, love, strength & courage. I befriended my shadows and learnt to trust my darkness as precious to me, teachers and friends just as much as my light.

Before the helm of the chariot are four figures, each with the face of a lion, a bull, a man, and an eagle… The figures represent the four directions and four corners of the physical plane that the Chariot traverses. The lion, bull, man, and eagle also represent the four fixed zodiac signs in astrology—Leo, Taurus, Aquarius, and Scorpio, corresponding with the four elements, Fire, Earth, Air, and Water. Fixed signs in astrology are the signs of divine order.

Source: ‘The Chariot with Benebelle Wen’ via Biddy Tarot

Card 2, Conscious-Present: The Emperor

So after so many years of hating on the Emperor, I decided to step up, take back my power and become the Emperor: I gave myself the position of CEO of my own life. I was to be my own Emperor. I stepped into the role with not very much confidence at all. I was like a Page of Cups work-experience kid, all nervous and knocking things over.

But when you embrace your inner Emperor, suddenly no one is there to judge you, reprimand you or roll their eyes when you spill your tea down your front. No one but you can decide how ridiculous or fabulous you are. Now that’s freedom.

Embracing my inner Emperor has given me courage, helped me to stand in my own power, allowed me to believe in myself and given me the drive and ambition to learn and develop the business skills I needed to take New Age Hipster from blog to successful business. And all with no one else’s approval needed.

The Emperor has taught me that although there will always be dumb council decisions, uni profs who don’t get your point and bosses on power trips, no one is in charge of my life but me.

The Emperor reminds us that we all have the power to rule our own lives. Whether we work for someone else, run our own biz or look after little ones at home. Whatever we do, we can do with the Emperor energy. Your boss may be a hard task-master, but he will never control your thoughts, what you have for lunch or how you spend your time out of the office. That’s all you baby!

The Emperor asks you to stand up to those who would try to pull you down by saying you’re not the boss of me, instead of blindly following someone else’s rule…

The Emperor understands that in order to be a successful leader of your own life you must balance the logical with the heart. You must follow your heart and work towards your dreams by taking focused action, having fab time management skills, get the work done, be able to minimise conflict and also gain the love and trust of your people (i.e. yourself).

So next time this guy comes up in a reading, don’t freak out that your boss is going to start being more demanding or that the new guy you just met is a total control freak. Perhaps it’s simply a sign from the universe for you to start running this ship that is your life.

Source: ‘The Emperor with Vix’ via Biddy Tarot

The Emperor card never really resonated with me either until I read this write-up. It’s so timely that he shows up as my Conscious Present card now when I’ve been thinking a lot about career direction, art practice, lifestyle & relationships, authenticity and basically: TAKING CHARGE OF MY LIFE.

Ofc the gears are always set in motion long before we feel any outward movement so it’s honestly impossible to define a clear start to this shift. Every experience is a lesson after all. But if I had to try, I’d say my 28th birthday marked the start of a conscious awakening. The Lion’s Gate opened and my spiritual ascension began. I felt the magic stirring. Looking back now, it’s so clear to me, that was the start of my levelling up. A new consciousness awakened like a new way of seeing — a way of sensing, really — though I know it’s always been inside me, just waiting until I was ready.

Now I’m at a certain peace with myself, where I’ve learnt to listen to the water and know it’s always flowing even when the surface seems still. I’ve journeyed inwards and pushed myself where I needed to. I’ve worked to forgive myself & others where holding on was holding me back. I wept, slept and waited when it was right to and stood to face my desires and fears when it was time. Now I feel ready for the next step and learning to glide. Continue with this work, commit, be courageous and before long, I have a feeling I’ll be learning how to soar and fly.

He sits upon a large stone throne, adorned with four rams’ heads (symbolic of his connection with Aries and the planet Mars). In his right hand, the Emperor holds an ankh, the Egyptian symbol of life, and in his left is an orb representing the world over which he rules.

He wears a red robe, indicative of his power, passion and energy for life. Underneath it, he wears a suit of armour, suggesting that he is protected from any threat (and any emotional response or vulnerability). His long white beard is symbolic of his age-old wisdom and experience, and along with his gold crown, he is an authority figure who demands to be heard.

Behind his throne looms a tall, impenetrable mountain range, signifying that he is backed by a solid foundation but resistant to making any changes unless he deems it necessary. Beneath the peaks flows a small river, giving some hope that despite his tough exterior, he is still an emotional being – it will just take a lot of digging and trust to open him up to his softer side.

Source: ‘The Emperor Card Meanings’ by Biddy Tarot

The Emperor points to the role of providing for family, protecting & defending loved ones. This is super in key with what I’ve been experiencing as an adult child this year in particular. A Gemini Moon child is said to often have difficult relationships with their parent/s (it normally says mother but I guess it means ‘caregiver you are emotionally closer to’). The Gemini Moon’s parent is normally said to have issues with mental or emotional instabilities (e.g. depression), often positioning the Gemini Moon child in the role of parent to their parent.

My mama raised me as a single mother, an immigrant with low socioeconomic status in a xenophobic society with terrible bias against Asian women. She raised me without a network of family to rely on in this country, though she has constantly done all that she can to help them in whatever limited ways from across the seas. She has survived domestic, psychological, emotional and financial abuse at my papa’s hands. Now she suffers from a diaspora which she cannot name. It affects her self-belief, her access to livelihood, work and friendships. But she is full of strength, joy, wit, love & laughter. She gets a real kick out of cooking and gardening. I believe she is a born creator.

My papa grew up traumatised by the Japanese occupation of Hong Kong in WW2 at a time when boys could not easily talk about their pain and men even less so. Throughout his life he has accomplished a lot and shared his wealth and prosperity with many of his friends & family who are in need or haven’t been as fortunate. Yet he has also led a life of his own emotional untruths. His relationship with my mama and the anguish it caused for his wife & sons has lived like a toxic elephant in his home all these years; and I don’t believe any of them have ever tried to look it in the eye. I know he has suffered emotional, financial and, it’s becoming increasingly clear, physical abuse, at his wife’s hands for close to thirty years.

Now as an adult child, I often parent my parents, specifically emotionally & mentally. I hope I give them some kind of spiritual nourishment giving them someone to talk to who will not judge them, but loves them & seeks to understand them. I was never ready before now. And yet now it seems to come with ease. It’s definitely not easy, but that’s difference between easy and ease.

You have a clear vision of what you want to create, and you organise those around you to manifest your goal. You listen to the advice of others, but you prefer to have the final say. Conflict doesn’t scare you, and you won’t hesitate to use your power to protect those you care about. And in return, those people will repay you with the loyalty and respect you deserve. Claim your authority as leader and influencer and don’t let others put you down.

This comes back to career/creative/life direction for me. I floundered about for so long finding work where I could hide my gifts & not risk my passions. I flopped about unfocused on a path I couldn’t find or follow. I ignored my skills, downplayed my desires, and sold myself short to match the unspoken expectations of others. I made myself smaller, made myself ‘easier’ to categorise as a ‘quirky Asian’ with a whitewashed tongue in order to make them feel ‘comfortable’. To be less of a ‘threat’ to their preconceived order of things.

Then for a few years I took the total opposite approach as I learnt more about the intersectionality. I would explore at people for ignorant opinions and take their views to heart (there are so many ways to respond instead of react). I called out every man & his dog for every racist, classist, sexist, gender-essentialist thing uttered — even if it was just for their sport and I was just amusement, even if I was upsetting myself, even if it was a total waste of my time. I don’t regret all of it though. I learnt a lot about myself in this period. And I will always stand in between rich yt folks calling the cops on elderly and disabled PoC. I will never let rich yt capitalist class-loving colonisers work me over and paint me as a bully for calling out racism in their workplace. I will never let those same colonisers get me to do their dirty work when trying to fire me for it. But the point is, I taxed myself dry. I needed direction, something productive to channel this into. I needed to face myself and ask, what’s the anger behind the anger? What lies behind the obvious? Figure it out, seek the source and figure out what ways exist within your power to address it.

I’m angry at the injustice, obviously. Angry at the enormity of these colonial, capitalist structures & even angrier at the passivity, denial and wilful ignorance oozing from cushy, comfy ‘nice’ folk with all the privileges in the world. But I can’t control any of that. I can’t control them. But I had let it control me.

What I needed was to take back control of my self. The things I can choose: my actions, my words, my thoughts, my energetic output, my boundaries. My connection to Sprit & this entire earthly universe. This is the fucking cornerstone of decolonising but it eluded me for years!

This year I began to interrogate my self with love & patience. I looked at myself & my hidden motivations with an unflinching eye. I didn’t aim to paint myself out as an intersectional WoC hero or a spiritual saint. I looked at myself as a complex human woman wanting to know her humanity better and realign with her Divine.

Among many things, I came to understand the best way to serve is by using our skills, talents & passions. That’s how we learn/unlearn and grow. It’s how we do our work here. As Diane di Prima said, “No one way works. It will take all of us shoving at the thing from all sides to bring it down.” We must all do our work in this fight for Earth & Great Spirit against the murderous systems of exploitative capitalist colonialism. We can only do it by living in authenticity & honesty in all things and in all facets. That means addressing our complicity, putting our flaws into the light and having the courage to create as a being rooted in Truth.

The Emperor reflects a system bound by rules and regulations. You create law and order by applying principles or guidelines to a specific situation. Create calm out of chaos by breaking down any problem into its parts and then mapping out the actions you need to take to resolve it. Be systematic, strategic and highly organised in your approach, and stick to your plan until the end.

The Emperor card also signifies world knowledge and expertise. Through the course of your life, you have gained valuable wisdom and life experience, and now you enjoy offering guidance, advice, and direction to someone who might benefit from it. You may be a teacher, coach, boss, or just a good friend who likes to take what you have learned and pass it on so that others can be as wise and powerful as you.

For me, drawing The Emperor in this spread is like a direct call to action. Step boldly into your destiny, bisssh!!!

Card 3, Conscious Future: The World

The spirit having form is a dance of sorts. It is the blending and sometimes the clash of different rhythms and desires. Our bodies crave comfort, our spirits crave growth…

The World Trump card reveals this vital and visceral integration of our passion and talents within the Mandorla, the blending of the two spheres of the Spirit and Human. The Mandorla (the elongated oval shape which provides the sacred stage for the World Dancer) is a sphere where the love of our own life gives and receives fully with the love of Life, the greater source and connection of us all. It is very much like the dancer becoming the music becoming the audience. It is the point of sacred merging and remembering. In some ways, the Mandorla itself is a world between the worlds. It represents that “orderly arrangement” of magic.

My very good friend Beverly Haskins once told me that the World card is essentially service. Once you have reached a certain prime and potential, it is important to give back to others. With the continuing journey of truly loving your life, help others with the love you do discover.

Source: ‘The World with Nancy Antenucci’ via Biddy Tarot

What a follow up to the previous card!! I talked about nurturing & cultivating passions & talents as the essence of our Divinity here on Earth and here she is singing her confirmation.

If the Emperor is about stepping into the role of Datu of my life, then The World is an invitation to dance in it.

The World card shows a naked woman wrapped in a purple cloth, dancing inside a large laurel wreath. She looks behind her to the past, while her body moves forward to the future. In her hands are two wands or batons, like the one the Magician holds. It is a symbol that what was manifested with the Magician has now come to completion with the World. The wreath is circular, symbolising a continual cycle of successful completion and new beginnings because, as the woman steps through the wreath, she is completing one phase but beginning another one almost straight away.

Around the wreath are four figures (a lion, bull, cherub and eagle), similar to those in the Wheel of Fortune. Both the World and the Wheel of Fortune speak to the cyclical nature of your life and your progression through its cycles. The four figures represent the four fixed signs of the Zodiac—Leo, Taurus, Aquarius, and Scorpio. They are symbolic of the four elements, the four suits of the Tarot, four compass points, four seasons, and the four corners of the Universe. They are here to guide you from one phase to the next, bringing balance and harmony to your journey.

When the World card appears in a Tarot reading, you are glowing with a sense of wholeness, achievement, fulfilment and completion. A long-term project, period of study, relationship or career has come full circle, and you are now revelling in the sense of closure and accomplishment. This card could represent graduation, a marriage, the birth of a child or achieving a long-held dream or aspiration. You have finally accomplished your goal or purpose. Everything has come together, and you are in the right place, doing the right thing, achieving what you have envisioned. You feel whole and complete.

Source: ‘The World Card Meanings’ by Biddy Tarot

Part of my vision of my life is one with community, healing, creation and reciprocal, self-sustained spiritual empowerment. I define myself as an artist and a person through this lens, even though at the moment I still feel like I’m in a transitional phase (forreal, when are we not tho). Relating this back to the Emperor once again feels like encouragement to find my bliss in new experiences, in rising to new challenges, in learning more, giving back more, and stepping boldly into my destiny.

Now, the World card invites you to reflect on your journey, honour your achievements and tune into your spiritual lessons. Celebrate your successes and bask in the joy of having brought your goals to fruition. All the triumphs and tribulations along your path have made you into the strong, wise, more experienced person you are now. Express gratitude for what you have created and harvested. Finally, make sure you don’t rush into the next big project; celebrating your journey will set you up for success when you are ready for your next challenge.

If you have not quite reached this point of completion, then you are very close! You may still need an added level of understanding to graduate to a higher level and enjoy real success. Look back at your past experiences and acknowledge how far you have come and what you learned along the way. It may surprise you to look back at your progress and see how much you achieved. This reflection may also be what you need to bring your project to its final stages.

If loose ends still remain, the World card asks you to bring them to completion. In doing so, you will clear the space for new beginnings and opportunities to emerge.

More literally, the World can mean world travel, particularly on a large scale. You may be lucky enough to embark on a six-month overseas trip, or are working, studying or living overseas for an extended period. This card reinforces Universal understanding and global awareness, and you will you will find a new appreciation for people and cultures from across the world.

P.S. YES PLS TRAVEL HMU

Material Realities: Current state, day-to-day life

Past: 10 of Wands (reversed)

Present: 9 of Wands (reversed)

Future: 7 of Pentacles

Card 4, Past Reality: 10 Wands (reversed)

Reversed, the Ten of Wands indicates that you are unnecessarily holding on to this burden when you do not need to. If you are feeling weighed down by your present circumstances, look at different ways you can lighten the load. Can you delegate certain tasks and responsibilities? Are you worrying about matters that do not concern you or cannot be changed? Do not become a martyr and take on more than you can realistically handle.

If you are going through a challenging time, then the Ten of Wands reversed indicates that this time will soon pass and you will feel less of a burden weighing on your shoulders.

You may be actively identifying those activities that do not bring you any value in your life and you are starting to release yourself from these unnecessary responsibilities. You may even be going through a purging process, clearing out old clothes and selling old furniture, in order to de-clutter and simplify your life. You will benefit from better organisation and prioritisation at this time.

Sometimes, the reversed Ten of Wands indicates that you are avoiding responsibility and making it even more difficult for others who must take on your share. Thus, the saying, “You have made your bed, now lie in it,” is very appropriate for this card.

Source: ‘Ten of Wands Card Meanings’ by Biddy Tarot

As I talked about in The Emperor, I used to burden myself with this self-appointed task of Racist Micro-and-Macro-Aggressions Officer, trying to ‘teach’ people who didn’t want to know, instead of concentrating on what I could do to feel fulfilment in the work to raise the global consciousness. I went through extreme burn out during this time, also relating to difficulties in my long-term relationship, feelings of isolation, smoking too much and just being generally unhappy without getting at the root cause. Since actively identifying what did not bring value in my life and actually brought pain, agitation and frustration into it, I released myself of them and freed up space in my soul for better things to grow.

Card 5, Present Reality: 9 Wands (reversed)

The Nine of Wands reversed suggests that you may be hesitant to make a long-term commitment. You may be feeling as if life is all work and no play, and you may feel overcome by responsibilities or a lack of support from those around you. You may also be lacking the necessary resources, such as finances, skills or time, in order to deal with the challenges head on. As such, you are hesitant to make any commitments in fear that your responsibilities will become all too much.

You may also be more inclined to be a little ‘on edge’ and on the defensive. The boundaries you have set around yourself are now becoming your cage, locking you into your old habits and behaviours. Be careful of dwelling on past frustrations and grievances. Just try to let go.

The Nine of Wands reversed asks you to be mindful not to make assumptions or hasty judgements. Lighten up a little and return to the Eight of Wands where you take life as it comes in all its various forms. Go with the flow and release yourself of the pressures you are feeling. A holiday or a break might do you some good where you can re-energise and rejuvenate yourself.

Sometimes, the reversed Nine of Wands can indicate extreme paranoia or even schizophrenia. You may feel as though you are constantly under attack or are being watched. Oftentimes, this is indicative of a fear from within, rather than an actual external threat. Counselling or psychological help is advised.

Source: ‘Nine of Wands Card Meanings’ by Biddy Tarot

I’ve experiences a few ‘firsts’ this year, working in box office & ushering at a theatre and as an artist’s model to make ends meet. I’ve also been working to cultivate and maintain relationships with arts organisations & practitioners in the hope that exciting opportunities might open up. This might sound simple enough but it’s pretty anxiety-inducing for me, having varying degrees of social anxiety and being born outside the privileged walls of capital-A Arts institutions & white academia.

On top of this, I’ve been working on illustration commissions and poster designs; trying to run my small online business; find employment as an arts worker with a living wage; as well as trying to organise my next videopoem & other video content — while also enjoying some cute social times.

This time last year, I moved further away from the city to a beautiful place where the rents are cheaper, the people are more ‘low SES’, a lot of the land hasn’t been built on (yet), and it’s easier to hear the spirits in the trees. This has been hugely beneficial for my development & overall health, but it’s a fair way to travel so I spend a lot of time at my lover’s house during busy periods when I need to be closer to work & the city. Which I’m so grateful for. But I also love the comfort of my own space and my bed, and have had less and less time to spend in it.

What I’m saying is, I’ve been feeling overwhelmed, especially during this end-of-year period where all industries are a frazzle, sliding over each others’ slick dripping pussies in the fight to the bottom line for consumerists’ throbbing D.

But there is light at the end of the money-making tunnel (please Gaia, pleaase). As of December, I’ll be freeing up my schedule a bit and setting some goals & plans for 2019. This should help me realign and reevaluate what needs to go, what needs to stay, and what needs working on. The more tension, the worse for the MH. So keeping up an awareness, even during hectic times, is key.

Card 6, Future Reality: 7 Pentacles

In the Seven of Pentacles, a man leans on his hoe, staring down at his abundant crop. He has worked long and hard, tending to his garden, and can now finally take a break to enjoy the fruits of his labour. However, he also looks tired and exhausted – even a little bored and ‘over it’ – from having worked so much to create this successful harvest. This card comes as a reminder that success comes from hard work and patience, but be careful not to overdo it and exhaust yourself.

The Seven of Pentacles shows that you have a strong desire to invest in those things that will provide long-term benefit and sustainable results. You understand the value of putting in time and energy now for longer-term rewards, and you are not necessarily looking for ‘quick wins’. You also want to make sure that you are focusing your attention on the right areas that will give you the biggest ‘bang for your buck’ instead of wasting time on areas that will not deliver any value. When this card appears in a Tarot reading, it is an invitation to step back from the day-to-day operations and look at the bigger picture. Appreciate and celebrate what you have created, and assess and evaluate your progress so far. Are you on track? Are you focused on the right tasks that will lead you to your goal? Similarly, if you are planning for the future, the Seven of Pentacles shows that you are taking a long-term view and you are assessing where you can best invest your time and energy for the maximum output. You do not want to keep putting your heart and soul into something if you are not getting the rewards for it and, no doubt, you have started to see that there are some areas in your life that are just become energy-sappers but without the reward. If you have been working extra hard or putting extra effort into something, it will finally pay off. Your effort will definitely be worth it, and you will see the results and rewards for your labour. You may have been working on something quite challenging and important for the last few months, and this is likely to come to a culmination. You are likely to see financial or other tangible rewards for all of your hard work. Sometimes, however, the Seven of Pentacles can indicate frustration with slow results. You have been labouring away at something important, and you may be starting to feel concerned that you will never be rewarded for your efforts. Be patient and appreciate the progress you have made so far. If your hard work has not yet paid off as planned, remember that your expectations may be unreasonable. There are no guarantees. Be grateful, focus on the present and do what you can with what you have.

Source: ‘Seven of Pentacles Card Meanings’ by Biddy Tarot

I really, really hope this speaks of good things to come! Hard work paying off sounds amazing. Let’s do that one please!!!

To me, this is a reminder of what I spoke about before: knowing the difference between what can be changed and what has to be released. Being present, working IN the moment, is a reward in itself. This is important to remember, especially during moments of frustration or stagnation when impatience and not-knowing gets the better of.

I think this is also a reminder that energy out is energy in; we must work towards our goals. Manifesting isn’t wanting something and sitting back to do nothing (that’s privilege yall). Manifesting is Intention, Action, Commitment & Energy!!

Unconscious: Undercurrent shaping the situation, where we come from & what baggage we drag with us

Past: Page of Wands

Present: Queen of Swords

Future: The Magician

Card 7, Past Unconscious: Page of Wands

The Page of Wands is similar to the Fool in that he is a free spirit who represents change and new beginnings. He has a true passion for life, despite his understanding of this world is not yet fully developed. He has not yet been weighed down by the burdens of the material world, coming and going as he pleases, and usually encouraging change wherever he goes. He is like the catalyst that inspires changes that might be impossible in any other situation.

The appearance of the Page of Wands indicates that you are experiencing a creative restlessness within you that is just waiting for some sort of expression, or, you may be on the verge of some sort of discovery or new phase of life. The Page of Wands represents the sudden creative spark that comes to you, suddenly and unexpectedly, and that starts you down the road of a new creative vision. Thus, he encourages you to express yourself and your individuality with light-hearted abandon. Listen to your unconscious mind and follow your creative urges, even if you are worried about being the lonely voice crying out in the wilderness. With persistence and a balanced perspective even the immature desires of the Page of Wands can be transformed into a beautiful creative vision that can change the world… You are enjoying being busy and involved in various activities and projects. You like the freedom of being able to choose what you will work on today, and hopefully it is different from what you worked on the day before… While you may look to this Page as an immature or child-like presence, he actually has a lot to offer you if you open yourself up to the possibilities that he shares with you.

Source: ‘Page of Wands Card Meanings’ by Biddy Tarot

This is spot on describing my inner state/unconscious earlier this year. I was a little naive about some things, maybe, because I was yet to fully understand the depths of my process/journey. How can you really know until you’re in it? This sense of hopefulness & optimism is still alive in me, although maybe a little more tempered with a bit more experience, though I also think I’ve moved on from the restlessness associated with the Page. Now I seem to be seeking some form of stability, being established in my own rights & being able to embark on new adventures from a place of direction & purpose. I used to like the aimlessness a lot more, but now I feel I want to be building something more tangible now, seeking the manifestation that comes after the initial sparks of possibility!!

Card 8, Present Unconscious: Queen of Swords

The Queen of Swords sits high on her throne with a stern look on her face indicating that no-one can fool her. In her right hand, she comfortably holds a sword pointed to the sky, and her left hand extends as if she has something to offer to others. Behind her is a spring sky, different from the winter settings on most other Swords cards, and this has an emergence and growth quality to it. The sky is clear, representing her clarity of mind as she considers matters of the intellect. The bird above her head symbolises the mind’s ability to soar above day-to-day issues in order to arrive at appropriate solutions.

The Queen of Swords represents the sternness of a mature intellect which is devoid of emotion. In mythology, the feminine is associated with emotion, yet in this card the woman is stern and composed, and without much feeling. This card therefore represents the intellect’s ability to judge and discern impartially, without the influence of emotion or sentimentality. She likes to know the how, what, why, where, when and who of everything to help her make sense of her environment and to better understand others. It is not that she does not care about others but she connects to other people through an intellectual understanding rather than an emotional understanding.

The Queen of Swords is a sign that you need to be independent in thought and in judgement. You must use your unbiased intelligence in order to make a judgement of a particular situation, drawing upon every piece of information and fact that you have gathered along the way. Empathy or compassion towards others may distract you from the task at hand, so it is important that you think with your head and not with your heart at this particular time. Do not let emotion get in the way. Rather, use fact and logic to make your decisions.

The Queen of Swords also has an innate ability to tell it like it is. She is a quick thinker and highly perceptive, and as such, she can cut through the noise and confusion to get straight to the point. There is certainly no ‘beating about the bush’, or ‘softening’ of her comments, opinions and thoughts. She is upfront and honest about her opinions, and expects the same from others. The best way to interact with the Queen of Swords, therefore, is to remain as impartial as possible, and to present your thoughts and opinions concisely and honestly.

Source:

This card has always kind of stumped me, although tbh she comes up in readings fairly regularly. I believe very much in the heart as a compass, so maybe I need to get more real with how I intellectually process situations to do with decision-making. I’m a sentimental gal so this feels like guidance telling me that while emotional connectedness is key, it’s also important to not let sentimentality become a cage.

This could apply to a lot of things: my attachment to my lifestyle away from the city could get in the way of doing the work that I love, or applying for a job. It could be saying yes to projects due to emotional attachments when really I don’t have the time, faculties or resources to bring it to fruition. Right now, this card feels like a message about discernment in decision-making, ensuring I am using my intellectual strengths in balance with my emotions to make the best choices for my life. Queen of Swords helps me remember that I must utilise all my skills, gifts & passions — and to remember the importance of intellectual rigour in my life.

Card 9, Future Unconscious: The Magician

“I wanted guidance and answers as to what I could do to make my situation better. It was then that the Magician began to jump out and consistently plague me. At first I’d pick the card up, sigh, and place him back into the deck feeling done and frustrated with the answer that I had received.But he continued to show up- jumping, falling out of the deck, even so much as getting mysteriously stuck to my slipper as I walked around the house miserable and lamenting…. I noticed first the infinity sign hovering above his head: infinite possibilities, the endless movement of energy, and also everlasting love.

“Do all things through and with love, Jess. For your Self and for others.”

The powers above are working through you- meaning that where you are being guided is no longer solely about you but a higher purpose, whether the topic of your question be about the work you feel called to do or a love that you are ready to share.

The hand held above his head is symbolic of assertion but more than that it works as a channel from God to man. “Allow the Provider to work through you and move you to this greater calling/direction.”

The hand gesturing to the ground brings that energy to be shared to the earth.

The Magician moves with purpose and with clear intention. He knows what he wants and what to do to manifest and direct energy because he has been inspired and then guided. All of what he needs lies here in front of him at his table.

“You have been given incredible gifts. Use what you were given to direct powerful intentions that lead to positive and desired outcomes.”

There’s a reason this card is one of the first of the story of the unfolding of the journey of the Major Arcana.

This is the card that holds the power directly within its hands- enough power to carry us through the journey of the other four suites and the Majors within the entire tarot deck.

This is the card of incredible manifestation- the beginning, the point in your life where you instinctively rise up and know that you are and have been empowered. Your choices and vision are supported by an incredibly benevolent universe/Provider that is reminding you now how very powerful you are when you step into faith, use your God given gifts, and take responsibility and action on creating the life of your dreams. With this card anything becomes possible and you are gifted the chance to see, feel, and own your potential knowing that no matter what lies ahead of you have been given all the tools at birth that you will need to live out your divine and unique life path filled with moments of adventure that include deep love, happiness, and incredible purpose.

This card is the shapeshifter.

“I can be ANY thing. There is nothing that I cannot do or be. It starts with me here. It starts with me now.”

Source: ‘The Magician with Jessica Wiggan’ via Biddy Tarot

I only started reading Tarot around two years ago but unlike Jess, I was enthralled when The Magician first appeared to me. Maybe it’s the illustration by Serena Rocca in my particular deck* but, to me, the card instantly felt alive with promise & potential. It seemed to speak to me of the power of balance in all things and the process of manifestation. Naturally, I was all about it.

Like Jess, after the first time I met The Magician, the card would reappear continuously and soon became a regular in my readings. Now, I usually take a photo of her and use it as my lock screen everytime she shows up. It reminds me of my own powers of manifestation and my responsibility (response-ability) in this life to use my gifts and passions and not squander the abundance given to me on this Earth.

The Magician card is numbered One – the number of new beginnings and opportunities – and associates with the planet of Mercury. He stands with one arm stretched upwards towards the Universe, and the other pointing down to the earth. His positioning represents his connection between the spiritual realms and the material realms. The Magician uses this relationship to create and manifest his goals in the physical realm. He is the conduit that converts energy into matter. The Magician’s robe is white, symbolising purity, and his cloak is red, representing worldly experience and knowledge.

On the table in front of him are the four symbols of the Tarot suits – a cup, pentacle, sword and wand – each symbolising one of the four elements – water, earth, air and fire. It is also a sign that he has all the tools (and elements) he needs to manifest his intentions into being. Above his head is the infinity symbol, and around his waist is a snake biting its own tail – both of which signal that he has access to unlimited potential. And in the foreground is an array of foliage and flowers, symbolising the blossoming and fruition of his ideas and aspirations.

As a master manifestor, the Magician brings you the tools, resources and energy you need to make your dreams come true. Seriously, everything you need right now is at your fingertips. You have the spiritual (fire), physical (earth), mental (air) and emotional (water) resources to manifest your desires. And when you combine them with the energy of the spiritual and earthly realms, you will become a manifestation powerhouse! The key is to bring these tools together synergistically so that the impact of what you create is greater than the separate parts. This is alchemy at its best!

BALANCE, BB!!

Now is the perfect time to move forward on an idea that you recently conceived. The seed of potential has sprouted, and you are being called to take action and bring your intention to fruition. The skills, knowledge and capabilities you have gathered along your life path have led you to where you are now, and whether or not you know it, you are ready to turn your ideas into reality.

In your quest to manifest your goals, you must establish a clear vision of what you will create (and why) before you act. It is not enough to be motivated by ego (money, status, or fame) – you need to have a soul connection to your goals and intentions. You are a powerful, creative being, and this is your opportunity to bring your Higher Self in alignment with your day-to-day actions to create the future you want most.

When you are clear about your ‘what’ and your ‘why’, the Magician calls on you to take inspired action. You will need focused attention and intense concentration to bring your goals to fruition. Focus on the ONE thing that will move you towards your goal. Commitment to the task is essential, so drop any distractions that may draw your focus away from what you want to achieve. Be methodical in your planning to make sure that you stay on track and carry out your tasks.

One of the first times The Magician popped out to say hey to me, I remember writing down a list of my priorities (outside of family & community), then narrowing the list down until I was clear about what was important to me. This clarity was perception-altering at the time; it helped me realise what my next steps should be on my path.

In this reading, I feel like this is a huge affirmation of my efforts to reevaluate, realign & refocus as the end of 2018 draws near. The next year is going to be huge and I want to make sure I go into it with a clarity of focus and intention.

No more wasted efforts, no more beating myself with a proverbial stick and hoping for candies to fall out. No mis-manifestations, no downplaying, no playing it safe, no bowing down or out due to cowardice or fear.

I have faced my own shadows. I will continue to face them always knowing them as parts of me, as guidance, as friends.

I will not hide from my own light. I will not let my fears dull it. I shine with the love of the Divine & my ancestors — and they are with me every step of the way.

P.S. The Magician & Queen of Swords cards came out simultaneously and could be read interchangeably as Card 7 & 8.

*The Tarot deck I use is the Group Tarot Deck by Girls Drawin’ Girls available here.

Tarot Wishlist

KAPWA Tarot (Pilipino Symbology and Ancestral Teachings) by Jana Umipig: http://www.janalynnecreativeproductions.com/shop

FAIRYTALE Tarot (Myths Legends and Deities From Around the World) by Yoshi Yoshitani: http://yoshiyoshitani.storenvy.com/

DELTA ENDURING Tarot (Southern Cartomancy) by Egan: http://www.deltaenduring.com/store/

FLAGSHIP Tarot by Trungles: http://www.trungles.com/flagship-tarot/

MODERN WITCH Tarot by Lisa Sterle: https://liminal11.com/2018/04/25/the-modern-witch-tarot/

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