#i added more cheese bc i fucking. i fucking love cheese
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please be kind i am but a humble murderclown peddling its humorous and horny wares
#nevvy speaks#god i hope when i wake up in the morning i remember to delete this#im too drunk to be posting things#also i heated up some chicken parmesan i made the other night and it is SO GOOD#i added more cheese bc i fucking. i fucking love cheese
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I can see Carmy loving when you cook for him, even if you’re not the greatest cook. You could make grilled cheese and tomato soup and he’d devour it
oh god non, i'm having big thoughts about this one.
it's close to mikey's death date, and carmy always gets a certain way. either he buries himself in work to the point he can barely breathe bc he doesn't want to think about it, or he just refuses to speak to anyone. just recluses himself to be in his own misery and depression.
this year was the latter.
carmy had called out of work- well, not called out. he just didn't show up, which was unusual. you'd texted richie that morning and he understood entirely. the bear was successful, he was making mikey's dream a reality, and still, it hit him hard this year. he stayed in bed, just rolled on the side to look out the window, watching the rain pour down over the city.
carmy wasn't great with words, truly. he struggled to tell you how he felt, find the right things to say, so he would always bring you food as an apology or a way to show you he loved you. you recognized the gesture as an act of love, one that was constant. making your favorite meals, cooking for you in a celebratory way, "i made that recipe you sent me", or when you were sick. it was his love language, what he loved to do and what he was certain in.
you, while you were far from skilled the way carmen was, wanted to show how much he meant to you back. you knew he wouldn't want to talk, he would talk to you if he wanted, but you didn't want him to feel so alone. so you made the one thing you knew to make- a grilled cheese and tomato soup.
it was juvenile, a little silly. you used the sour dough bread and the three layers of cheese- a far cry from the white and american you always made before carmy- and heated up a campbell's soup on the stove, adding your own spices to try and spruce it like carmy would. it wasn't great, you knew that, not close to what he could make, but you put it on a tray anyways, making your way to your shared bedroom.
"carmy," you called softly, peeking into the still dark room, illuminated only by the grey skies spilling in from the window.
he rolled over, dull, blue eyes meeting yours in a half lidded, sullen expression. your heart fell. "i, uh, i made you some lunch, baby." you hummed, moving closer, the spoon rattling against the bowl.
carmen sat up slowly, looking at the contents on the tray carefully. you rolled your lip under your teeth. "it's, uh, it's not like fancy or anything." you said quickly. "it's just... when i used to feel bad, i-i would always make this and, um, i just thought you might like it too. or-or it might help but-"
"-thank you." carmen's eyes shined, looking up at you sweetly. "this is... it looks great." he swallowed around the lump in his throat, thick with emotion.
you beamed, looking down at your feet. "thanks. it's nothing, really. i just thought you'd want something." you muttered, running a hand over his greasy curls. "i'll, uh, i'm gonna finish the laundry but i'll-"
"stay with me." carmen looked up at you, eyes rounding so sweetly how could you possibly say no? "please?"
so you did. sitting next to him in the bed, stealing nibbles of the grilled cheese, muttering sweetly next to him. was it the best? to you, no. it needed more flavor and was not even comparable to anything carmen made. but to him? it was perfect. the best meal on earth. he'd eat it every single fucking day if he could because it came from you.
#carmen berzatto#thebearer#thebearerblurbs#carmen berzatto fluff#carmen berzatto fic#carmy berzatto x reader#carmy berzatto#carmen berzatto x reader
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MR SANDMAN BRAINROT EUEUUUGGHHH
okay yay brainrot won the poll. also i might psot dragon chan headcanons requested by wallet becuz yaaaaaayyy
uhhh also i dont really gaf about timelines. so if something doesnt line up time wise. ignore it. shh
ermmm cw for child fighting!! mr sandman didnt have the best middle school experience
BAZOOKA'S THOUGHTS:
i need this man so badly PLS MR. SANDMAN ONE CHAAAAANCEEEE
who typed that omg…
GENERAL SANDMAN INFO (canon + headcanon)
full name: isaiah joseph banks
birthday: april 12th
age: 31
height: 6’5” (197 cm)
weight: 284 lbs (129 kg)
origin: philadelphia, PA, USA
gender: cis male
sexuality: bisexual (might be in denial lmao. men say theyre fighting demons and the demons r bisexuality LMFAO)
family:
victoria banks, mother, alive
george banks, father, alive
no siblings
HEAD CANON TIME:
- insomniac. goes between sleeping for 11 hrs during the day and not sleeping at ALL, also explains the eyebags in his TD
- incredibly horrible sleep schedule. stems from his childhood
- also stems from his childhood but not exactly the best at socializing w other people
- somehow is friends w glass joe. don't ask me how it works they just ARE (and they may be a little. fruity.)
- has one of those light up squishy things that u hit to change the color. yeah he either fucking SLAMS that thing or gently pats it when he wants to change it. it’s a bunny for anyone curious
- goes thru the 5 min nap to the 5 hour nap pipeline. “oh im just gonna take a small nap,” then wakes up w the blankets all over the fucking room, the god damn windows r open, he’s somehow upside down, etc etc
- him and the ref have beef after his TD victory animation
- was one of those kids that would be on his knees near some mulch playing w the roly polies on the playground. he'd have like 20 in his palms in 5 minutes
- if u catch him right when he wakes up (like. RIGHT right when he wakes up) he accidentally calls people “baby.” it’s a habit he picked up from his mom and he’s pushed it back into his mind, but it slips when he isn’t exactly thinking (totally not projecting my own habits onto him guys)
- adding to the above that the person who originally found this out was glass joe. take that as you will
- he sends some of his boxing money to his parents to support them (he’s a mamas boy LEAVE ME ALONEEEEE)
- doesn’t exactly search for a relationship, believes that when he decides he’s ready for one the right person will find him
- gets dragged into world circuit outings by either super macho man or aran ryan. on the rare occasion it’ll be soda. one time they all went bowling and sandman watched aran ryan throw a bowling ball like a fucking baseball and it broke the ceiling
- knows how to make a MEAN philly cheese steak. will be mentally freak out (positively) if someone mentions they’ve never had one before. if he wasn’t so stoic he would be jumping up and down and going “YAAAAAYYYYY🎉🎉🎉” becuz he finally gets an excuse to make one for someone
- has 100% almost broken the world circuit ring's ropes (see his intermission animation in contender)
- his locker in the locker rooms is either completely spotless or dented to hell and back. bonus points if theres like. a fake succulent in there or some shit
- luvs animals. takes pics of cool animals he sees anywhere
origin backstory thing under cur bc its long
origin:
isaiah joseph banks, known as his boxing alias mr. sandman, was born on april 12th to victoria banks and george banks in the Doylestown Hospital. born to loving parents, isaiah grew up as an only child.
isaiah learned to keep to himself and care for himself very early on, as both of his parents were usually at work. they worked hard to provide for isaiah and themselves, but always put their son first. they
the time they spent at work would be made up at home, albeit this time could never be fully made up for a young isaiah. he had spent more time with babysitters and nannies than his own parents. of course, isaiah knew his parents loved him, but all the bonds that were supposed to be formed hadn’t; the time frame had passed.
the time they did spend together was… memorable, really. not in a bad way, but every moment— every waking minute— made isaiah into the man he is today.
every night, when his mother was home early enough, she would sing him a soft lullaby. when she wasn’t, his mother had recorded this lullaby onto a tape for him to listen to. this lullaby was the song that made mr. sandman: Mr. Sandman by The Chordettes. it wasn’t a typical children’s lullaby by any means, but by god he loves that song— present tense intended.
then, a problem arose: school. starting middle school is one thing, but isaiah found out how cruel children could be.
isaiah was big, to put it lightly. five foot six at age 12 was enough ground for bullying, and being dropped off by a few different babysitters/nannies in the morning only added to the ammunition.
with how big he was, the bullying never went farther than verbal harassment. soft giggling every time he talked in class, glances from across the classroom, the bullying was subtle except for the occasional direct blow to isaiah.
his boxing interest began when he was thirteen, where his parents enrolled him in a self defense class that revolved around boxing and the sort. they had found out about the bullying from the babysitters, as isaiah had been reporting what they had been saying to him. there, young isaiah learned the basics of boxing: dodging, punching, and jabs had been added to his arsenal.
isaiah had always relished in the safety of knowing that he’d never get attacked at school, but unfortunately this was false.
it was brutal really; the poor boy had been caught in the bathroom and was attacked from behind, slammed his face into the sink, and assaulted from there. it took around two minutes for teachers to hear the commotion, but they were two minutes too late.
there, isaiah was brought to the hospital. no one truly knows the full extent of his injuries, minus his parents. if you look closely at mr. sandman, his top teeth are a little crooked.
nothing exactly eventful happened other than he moved schools, and everything was smooth from there.
his boxing career began to take off when he was 17, when he met an old babysitter of his— one who had taken care of him up until he was 13. he had become a boxing coach and offered to take isaiah up as a student.
if you ever ask mr. sandman in an interview about his boxing idol, he’d most likely say his coach. that man taught him nearly everything he knows, and even taught him the dreamland express move that mr. sandman is most known for, albeit modified.
mr. sandman picked up his alias when his coach told him about the WVBA and their boxers. it was almost inevitable he’d choose mr. sandman in honor of his mother.
he had his first fight at age 18, where it went swimmingly well. records of this fight have been lost to time, but, according to word of mouth, mr. sandman nearly killed the poor man.
i gotta be honest w u all idk how to continue this. umm mr sandman meets a wvba recruiter and then uh yah.😁😁😁
#punch out#punch out wii#mr sandman#mr. sandman#IM MR SANDMANS BIGGEST FAN IVE SAID IT BEFORE BUT IT STANDS#AAAAAARRAGHHH#half of this is me just projecting onto him#also can we talk abt his hairstyle in TD like. who is ur barber#bazooka-overkill#bazooka overkill#also maybe hourglass if u squint
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Alrighty here’s mah lil ranty rant (But long, many apologies I dunno how I could shorten it)
Let’s start with Ada bc mommy- I mean mommy- I mean- (/j)
Ada Wong:
-So I see a lot of people trash Ada for the fact her personality seems to be more cold. She has distant she’s cruel (although she still seems to have lines she won’t cross, like with Wesker and the Las Plagas sample). I see people complain about that but I would like to make a hot take, here: it’s actually better. She’s a mercenary. She’s a gun for hire- her job has to be cold because she could be betraying her friends at any given second. In the older games, she was sort of just… I don’t know… A bit too human for the job, and the role in the story that she is meant to fill. I see people describing her as a Bella, and honestly, I strongly disagree. In fact, I would argue that the original was more of a Bella then the remakes. This is because all she was really there is for the generic “Ooh look pretty woman, bad ass eye candy” trope. I’m not saying that she didn’t have any depth as a character- I’m just saying that the remake gave her much more credit as a character, and made her much more interesting.
all right, moving onto the old man. (#1 Wesker hater over here I’m sorry I’m not sorry lol)
Albert Wesker:
-I know that I hate this guy, but even I have to appreciate that out of quite a few of the Weskers that have been made, this version is just better written. I see people complain that he is too angry and honestly, I disagree. The fact that he has a hidden anger, makes sense from a character perspective. And he’s getting increasingly more cheesed off at Spencer for obvious reasons. No wonder he’s pissed. Personally, I think the fact that they’re showing that he has emotions- he’s just learned to control them- is honestly much more compelling. I still hate the guy, but I can see where he’s coming from- in a twisted and a messed up way.
yeah. That’s it l. that’s all I got for him. I don’t really like him that much so he doesn’t deserve a whole essay like Ada imo. (Still like his character, though he’s very interesting.)
that’s my rant. Thanks for hearing me out -> I know this was ridiculously long. That’s why I asked permission first. I basically just wrote an entire essay in your asks and I am so sorry lmao
hjadsg no need to apologise. I may have to contest you for #1 wesker hater tho,,, 👀 I hate his guts too
BUT you're absolutely right the DLC added so much depth to their characters. and personally made wesker MORE hate-able to me personally because we just further see how messed up he is, to the point where even Ada - who has had to numb herself to the details of the job to survive - had visible negative reactions to his genocidal nonsense. I loved Lily's performance in the base game but she especially got to shine in the DLC, she absolutely nailed the cold look with emotion hidden underneath. Ada's cold exterior is her armour against her own emotions, she can't take a second to feel as that could be the second she dies, she doesn't have the luxury of emotional vulnerability; even though she does feel, she does care, she cannot afford to let herself. And little things like eye movements, lip twitches, subtle body language, and her inflections were all techniques Lily used to portray that tumultuous relationship between Ada and her feelings, and Lily did fucking amazing at it. Best Ada performance ever. Ada's never been allowed that depth before because she's always had to be palatable to the male audience :) so I'm glad she's finally getting it. And Wesker finally feels like a real villain, rather than just another power hungry white guy (which, he very much is, but now there's depth to it lol). Wesker's dialogue in the DLC is scary, and it makes the audience more aware of what exactly he believes and what his motives are. This DLC added so much to the base game that really drives it as my favourite RE game.
#and ofc Ada is mommy#Ada Wong#albert wesker#resident evil 4 remake#Separate Ways#resident evil 4#resident evil analysis#asks
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Ari and bunny baby are just too cute 🥹🫶!!!
I can’t get over how he’s just sooooo in awe of her 🥹!!! He’s seriously sat there just looking at her and admiring her sweetness and innocence and adorableness uuuhhh it makes my heart swell that he’s actually head over heels for her 🫶🫶🫶
But fuck, you look way too cute — it should be illegal. With your fluffy little ears covering your face bashfully and your tail twitching against his leg as you cuddle into him. Goddamit, why did you have to be so cuddly and cute??
Lloyd would probably say that Ari was completely wrapped around your pinkie finger but the truth is that Ari can’t help but find you so adorable. And it’s not like you misbehave on purpose—you can’t help it that you’re so dumb and can’t understand right from wrong most of the time. Awww Ari making excuses for his baby bunny’s misbehaviours - we love a forgiving king 🥹🫶
How can Ari stay mad at you? When you look so cute and innocent? He can’t help but rain kisses all over your face till you’re giggling once more, your tears drying in your cheeks as you promise never to say the bad word ever again.
Ari says as he tugs your ear playfully before kissing your tears off your cheek.
His huge softness and awe for her with his dark depraved assertiveness (I mean he’s still ready to belt her and put her in her cage if he feels like it 😵🥵) is such a sexi combination omfg
I love that she has just his number as her only phone contact awww, and the emojis she added next to his name hnkjahshw she’s so cute 🥰🫶 And she uses her phone to learn how to cook her man yummy meals and send him adorable goofy snaps that no doubt bring a huge smile to his face 🥹 I can’t, she’s just so precious 🫶
It’s also really sweet that Ari takes some time to get to know her beloved stuffies because he knows she cares so much for them 🥹
Ari smiles, “Good bunny. Now, why don’t you play with your stuffies instead? Who’s this guy?” He picks up a toy at random, and it happens to be a golden stuffed monkey. “That’s Mr Cheeseburger.” “Okay, well, play with Mr Cheeseburger, honey. While daddy does his work.” Ari settled you down on the floor by his feet before going back to his laptop.
Mr Cheeseburger!!! Bestie you always make the cutest names for your fanfic stuffie cinematic universe!!! This is how I see Mr Cheeseburger - he’s got Ari’s blue eyes 🥹 and his dashing red corduroy overalls with the yellow buttons made me think of tomato and cheese on a cheeseburger heehee 🥰
The imagine of baby bunny playing with her cute stuffie beside Ari’s feet whilst he’s sat on a chair on his laptop doing business … HAWT 🔥!!!
And Lloyd and his kitten!! Lloyd the sociopathic heartless ruthless kidnapper + torturer + murderer the absolute menace of a man has captivated me since the second I laid eyes on him when watching TGM, so to know that here he actually loves his kitten whilst also committing sadistic acts of dominance - I am YEARNING, my pelvis is ACHING 😩 I know Lloyd and his kitty are barely side characters but oh Lloyd as a deliciously cruel owner of a hybrid who he’s in love with aaaahhhhhhh I’m sat here internally screaming and externally weeping 😩🫶
- 💙
Ahhh bestie!!! I’m so happy you liked this sweet self indulgent little drabble with Ari and his baby bunny😌🐰 they’re my fav couple fr bc they’re so cute !!
Yes, Ari always makes excuses for his baby bc she’s so cute and innocent and he low-key doesn’t love punishing her! He has to do it bc sometimes he needs to be strict with her but he lets her get away with a lot!
Omg and bestie this is the perfect face claim for Mr Cheeseburger! It looks like a McDonald’s happy meal with the colours!!! I love it! Bunny loves playing with her stuffies by her daddy’s feet bc he sometimes reaches down and pets her head and sometimes he even joins in and plays with her 😭😭😭
Also omg I think I’m gonna have to write a spin-off about Lloyd and his kitten!
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Top 10 favorite albums (or whichever ones you've been enjoying the most)
it was only this year that it occurred to me to start keeping lists of our favourite things because our memory is like swiss fucking cheese (as previously discussed lol) so this is gonna be a bit haphazard and I'm definitely gonna wake up at 02:00 in a cold sweat like "FUCK I FORGOT [x]" but. 🎵 these are the breeeeaks! 🎵 anyway.
i. DARK SIDE OF THE MOON | pink floyd
hated PF as a kid listening to rock radio, their dreamy sound bored the fuck out of me, but now that I'm a stoner PF makes way more sense
that's not relevant to DSotM though, I just love this album because it's about madness and entropy and death and also has the best middle track and outro track ever invented
standout track: Eclipse
ii. BETWEEN THE HEART AND THE SYNAPSE | the receiving end of sirens
post-hardcore concept album with copious use of harmonies and haunting lyrics. this band was a flash in the pan that left scorch marks on my entire existence
standout track: Epilogue
iii. THIS GODLESS ENDEAVOR | nevermore
my introduction to Nevermore that still remains my favourite work by them. what a fucking band. Warrel Dane's vocals are insane. it's just good idk what to say
standout track: Sentient 6
iv. MABOOL: THE STORY OF THE THREE SONS OF SEVEN | orphaned land
here we start getting into albums I don't listen to from beginning to end often bc there are individual songs that I don't really care for BUT it's such a cohesive and beautiful story when you do listen to it from beginning to end that I still do it sometimes anyway. this is a concept album about Noah and the Ark by an Israeli metal band. like. come on. what more do you WANT from LIFE
standout track: The Storm Still Rages Inside
v. REQUIEM FOR A DREAM OST | Clint Mansell + Kronos Quartet
I am rabid for both Mansell and the Kronos Quartet. I would die for them. honourable mention to The Fountain OST here which not only is my favourite movie but it has the one song in existence that makes me say "if I were a song I would be this song"
standout track: listen idk it's just two leitmotifs the entire time, a lot of them are the same tune with different spices added
vi. STRANGER FRUIT | zeal & ardor
who are my favourite band so it's kinda funny it took me this long to bring them up but YKNOW
"satanic negro spirituals and btw, make it metal" is a genre that is 100% tailored to me personally (their later albums are less Specific vibes-wise which is a shame but yknow what... the shit still slaps so I'm not too mad)
standout track: You Ain't Coming Back
vii. BEETHOVEN'S LAST NIGHT | trans-siberian orchestra
they don't just make metal Christmas music!
standout track: Mephistopheles' Return
viii. GARDEN WINDOW | o'brother
vibes. pure vibes. idek how else to explain this band but. whew
standout track: Poison!
ix. THE DOOMSTAR REQUIEM | dethklok (metalocalypse)
Metalocalypse's rock opera has some of the catchiest metal songs I've ever heard. also. it's a rock opera. likeeee come ONNN *gesticulating madly*
standout track: *impales self on spikes instead of trying to choose*
x. NYMPHETAMINE | cradle of filth
you already know 🤘🏿
standout track: Absinthe With Faust
#watch tumblr break the fuck out of my formatting like usual#if it comes out lookin funny just wait five minutes i'll fix it#edit: ok fixed lol#MUSICCCCC *chews drywall*#audiophilia
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we want the charles hcs mia
of course
he's autistic. duh. but I think he had a lot more symptoms as a child and was Very Difficult. and bc people didn't rly know about autism back then I think his parents tried their best but ultimately were at a loss as to what to do with his stimming and sensory issues etc. so as he grew he learned the effect his oddities have on people, and how they perceive him as a black/native man as well. and that's part of the reason why he's so aloof and distant. isolating for protection and also so he doesn't have to put as much effort into masking. which he barely does anyway but whatever
adding on to Charles as a child. he was really into bugs. a gentle giant of a kid and loved little crawlies. and I think he got picked on by other ppl as a kid bc he was odd and big and different looking but kind, but some kid killed a bug he was keeping as a pet and charles punched him and then was treated differently after that
he hates nicknames. the only people that ever called him Charlie were his parents and no one else is allowed (except for bloom Isaac hehe). not chuck either
he whittles sticks in game but I think he carves little statues and spoons and stuff. he wants to get into woodworking but he's never lived in a house he can make furniture for :(
I know he'd be such a sweet dad. awkward but very sweet and gentle
gets insomnia. this is bc whenever I stalk him in game he never fuckin sleeps. I've only seen him in his jammies like once or twice
him and Arthur 🤝 farting in bed all night
I think it's established that Charles doesn't really believe what dutch says but I think he HATES listening to him talk for more than 2 mins. he can only tolerate dutch in small doses. he appreciates what the gang stands for + the other people in it + safety in numbers a lot more than whatever ideology Dutch has cooked up this week
also he had a lisp as a child
I think he's such a pathetic weirdo that the gang found in a sopping wet cardboard box. he's so lonely but doesn't know how to talk to people (doesn't enjoy it half the time anyway) but he's just secretly desperate for human connection and that's why he stays w the gang thru all this stuff, simply bc it's the first home he's had since he was a child and he doesn't want to be alone again. he works himself into the ground with all the chores to show the gang that he's useful so they don't leave him
in a modern world he'd be a terrible fucking driver. inspired by the epilogue mission where he says "I'll drive" and proceeds to run over 3 pedestrians. he hits every curb, he can't parallel park, he doesn't signal, and he can't drive a manual. yet he doesn't understand how he's a bad driver and gets offended if someone tells him so
his least favourite food is cottage cheese (texture)
bisexual and vers but bottom-leaning. he's just happy to be there
likes his partners to be strong or have some meat on their bones just so he knows he won't break them or anything lol
speaking of sex. um. I have a rule that I have to give all my beloved characters some weird fetish or kink to humble them. soo Charles likes sniffing pits. sorry
much more impatient and quick to anger than people give him credit for. he just has better restraint than other characters and can act reasonably when he wants to. but he's just as eager for a fight as the next guy
he's not very nice either I don't know where this perception of him being overly kind and patient comes from. he's not nice and he's not mean either. he embodies this emoji 😐
that's it for now I think. my disjointed collection of Charles thoughts
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hypothetically, if a lurking fan had written a little hellcheer demisexual smut fic (with strong stream-of-consciousness ADHD vibes [every thought comes with a bonus thought!]) for you, but didn't really want to post it publicly, how would they go about doing that? and, relatedly – how does one overcome the crippling fear of posting their fics publicly? asking for a friend x
FIRST OF ALL... *eyeballs emoji* *eyeballs emoji* etc., etc., ad infinitum
b.) you're welcome to DM me in the little chat function and mayhaps i could offer up my email (but that is admittedly iffy, just, for privacy reasons on both of our parts). BUT ALSO, you can post anonymously to ao3! which, if that’s your comfortability rn, i recommend so hard, becaaaaause—
numero tres: we need more demi eddie in the tag pleeeeeease with rainbow sprinkles on top, i'm BEGGIN. obvs i can't speak for everyone except myself and also @agentmmayy @carry-the-sky gonna go out on a limb here and say @152glasslippers too, we're thirstin for certified virgin + demisexual disaster eddie munson who does in fact have a religion and it's worshipping the ground chrissy cunningham walks on (we're talkin slo-mo, we're talkin dreeeeeeeeeam weeeeeeeeaver 🎶 i believe you can get me through the niiiiiIIIIiiight, we're talkin sudden and drastic changes to the boy's blood pressure, okay u see where i'm goin with this)
4.) in that same vein, i'm gonna be honest here and hopefully it's like, inspirational, or something, but i have hand to dolly never had any qualms, never any second thoughts or hesitations, about sharing my writing. i think, for me, it's always been The Thing that i love, and at least ummmm 47% of my personality is dreamy idealistic goofball who believes that love—in any and all of its variations—is all you really need to get through shit.
writing has always made me feel good, so if i can pour that out and share it with other people, well, that's just second nature to me to do that. and it's evolved, too, into this thing where i truly and adamantly believe that writing, first and foremost, should be for the writer—you need to put your wants first, otherwise, like, what are you even doing, yk? just feeding into trends and algorithms and mass market appeal that can and will change like that *snaps fingers*, blech, i'd rather sell my soul for a mcchicken, but, anyway, point being...
just, figure out exactly what it is you're afraid of. because honestly, if that fear is other ppl's opinions, i'm tellin you, that's so irrelevant. i know it doesn't feel that way but, take it from someone who spent a looooooong time, long time, trying to curate my work into something that was wholly for others without ever asking myself hey asshole is this even what you want to be writing in the first place? (answer: no it was not.)
like i think, at a certain point, you really do have to go into creating anything with a very fuck it i'm ballin kind of attitude. like, you need to find your fulfillment and you need to have fun, and i promise you that other ppl are going to feel that in your work, bc that's the shit that makes you shine.
(also um quick postscript but i love you for doing this for me. that's so kind and so rad and honestly like, even if the rest of this has been nothing but a mixed bag of buttered-caramel-cheese popcorn with no discernable rhyme or reason, THAT energy you've got there is worth sharing)
#so anyway i hope this helped??#i've still got one foot on my soapbox if u need more tho <3#notquitecogent#ask#eddissy#hellcheer#a/n#writing advice#the advice being 'fuck it let's party'
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Tbh unpopular as fuck opinion but I don't hate tumblr live and I might try it sometime, like to stream from camp if we have service or smth.
Listen. Do I hate and loathe the tiktok-ification of the entire internet? yes. but do i use tiktok or twitch? Fuck the no, I'm not downloading MORE apps to watch your calligraphy stream. Sorry. I do think that's fascinating but here's the thing. If my mutual was doing some nerd shit like that was on tumblr live I'd watch it. But I would not click out to twitch or any other Additional Application to do the same thing. I won't do that on most apps. I won't even stream on Instagram because I, again, hate the tiktok-ification of every app, but also bc instagram has intentionally made it SO competitive to be on their platform that you have no choice if you wan a keep your followers. Most people will avoid Doing A Thing if there are too many additional apps/windows/steps to go through, its not just me.
However I LOVE oversharing with my tumblr followers. And I love livestreams of just like. Vibes. Saxsquatch style. That's the kind of shit I want on my blog anyway, and that's the kind of streaming I would do, why would I go to a different app for that? And in terms of the commodification of our online personalities, at least tumblr isn't trying to rewrite the entire functionality of the fucking website to center around Live the way that Instagram did. That automatically makes me more inclined to use tumblr live than any established Facebook products.
I realize most everyone probably already has twitch and tiktok and all the others and you're used to using those platforms instead. If you already stream on twitch it doesn't make a ton of sense to come to tumblr, ill give you that.
But for people who are new to streaming, or who wanna stream unconventional stuff, or stuff that's related to your blog... I really don't see the issue?? Tumblr has been a multi media blogging platform since day 1, adding streams to the other post types makes logical sense? I'll also admit tumblr staff makes a lot of changes that don't always make sense and I'm not always on board, but this one seems so benign and actually potentially cool and useful, and yet everyone unanimously agrees that we hate it.
Sorry yall I don't get this one? i still simply do not see the issue with tumblr live? I see a bunch of mice angry that their maze cheese got moved bc of the menu rearrangement. Sometimes they do move the cheese. It pisses me off too! I get it! It's still good cheese tho...
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Thesis Process Journal - 7.22.23 - Experimentation
So this past year I got very into custom doll making. I’ve gotten obsessed over Dollightful’s channel over on youtube, specifically her heavily modded doll stuff - I love seeing her engineer points of articulation and make these beautiful custom dolls out of it (My favorite is her Aquarian dragon doll). So… at the beginning of this summer I asked my aunt to take me thrifting to buy some cheap dolls to cut apart. I had the sneaking suspicion I could use the techniques to make a stop-motion friendly doll.
I found these Barbies (and one old disney Belle doll I think?) with very little existing articulation. I beheaded them, cleaned up the paint, took off the hair, and then tried to figure out where I wanted articulation. I wanted to try a more ball-jointed approach with a lot of rotational capacity - so I cut one of the dolls at the hips, under the breast, at the upper arm and elbow and at the knee.
The legs have been proving difficult because they're jointed within the doll rather than in a more easy to access/ workshop way. They’re rubbery and hard to get epoxy putty to cling to because they’re flexible :( They’re also really lacking in hip mobility so I honestly might just end up breaking them off and making them wireframe because by god can I make a good wireframe puppet and they’ll most likely be covered by pants..
I tried making a cup for a ball joint in the midsection between the hips and breast, forming it out of epoxy. However making the ball waist has been impossible? I initially tried making one out of epoxy and now I’m gonna try a wooden bead wrapped in polyurethane foam and see if that flexibility helps anything. All these mods have honestly been doing so far though is fucking up the proportions in a fun and insane way… so I’m treating this as just a functional test so I know what I’m doing with my final, properly proportioned piece.
I added a coat hanger wire to hook the elastic around to create the ball joint. We'll see how this goes.
I also started thinking about the head - I want moveable eyes and replacement faces to accommodate lip syncing (because I really really love to lip sync). To make the moveable eyes took the wax on the outside of babybel cheese and spread it over a piece of thick glossy paper, cut a quarter circle out and wrapped it around my eye bead. It moves pretty smoothly but I think the wax will melt under the light (the red also kinda stains the eye bead but eyes do have red on them so I don’t find that to be bad).
I think I’d maybe try a harder thing in placement of the paper since it still kinda squishes around (though my test with an aluminum can material has pretty much failed bc I can't bend it into a cone shape well enough). Or I’ll just wrap it in epoxy and call it a day. I’ll then embed that into a skull backing and build the replacements up front like I did for Dressmaker.
Aesthetically I want to maintain a papery/fibery visual image. I’ve been considering the idea of animation on paper/cell for little cutaways/memory overlays to incorporate that 2D sensibility and maybe make everything a little more collagey? I ended up finding and looking through a bunch of old ass family photos and want to recapture that sort of hazy energy I got while looking at those. I’m not sure though - I kind of desperately wish I was around my peers so I could get some conceptual critiques before the school year started and maybe more ideas with regards to aesthetic and focus. Oh well, It’s a little under a month left before I’m back in Bmore.
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CREAMY SWEET POTATO CARROT COCONUT SOUP (WITH AGED CHEDDAR BC I LOVE CHEESE SORRY)
1 sweet potata, diced
3 big ass carrots, chopped
1/2 tomata, diced
1/2 white onion, diced
2 large garlic cloves, minced (or chopped if ur like me and dont care enough to mince lord its so hard)
cooking oil so ur veggies dont stick to the pan + pot!
2 cups water (i think. i lost count help)
1 tbsp of veggie bouillon (i think! LOL)
1 400ml can coconut milk
handful of kale, roughly chopped
cheddar cheese, sliced thin for easy melting (omit if lactose intolerant sux 2 b u bruv)
spices: turmeric, cumin, paprika, nutmeg, dried parsley, salt, black and white pepper bc why not idek the difference between them man (sorry i dont measure this shit u gotta figure it out urself. fuck it we eyeball)
NOTE: if u dont have a BZZZ BZZZ handheld thingy to blend the soup at the end u might wanna chop n dice everything super fine so that its easier to "blend" by hand. we want this soup CREAMY. UNIFORM. GLORIOUS. SMOOTH IN UR MOUTH.
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first ur gonna wanna take ur sweet potata and ur carrots and roast them a bit on medium-low heat. i did this in a pan bc i have an aversion to ovens i just hate waiting also that shit gets so hot help girl im scared! anyway u do this so it can be very soft and easy to blend in the pot, or not crunchy if u dont wanna blend ig
when the potata n carrot r soft, sautee the onion a lil bit in the pot on medium heat, then add in the garlic for another lil bit
once thats done add the potata and the carrot to the pot with ur water and veggie bouillon! also the tomata lol almost forgot her. add ur spices, mix, turn that shit up medium-high, put a lid on the pot n let it hang out
idk after like 5-10 min add the can of coconut milk, make sure to shake well. stir that shit up, it should be a beautiful turmeric yellow! let it simmer for however long ud like lol idk how this stuff works. another 5-10 min seems safe
when the soup is lookin good, BZZ BZZ blend it babey! give it a lil taste to make sure u added enough spices, and put some more if needed
add the cheddar cheese (or omit if god nerfed u at birth) and kale and turn off the fire. stir until the cheese is melted
taste the soup and again, if its lackin in flaveur add whatever da hell u want to it! chili powder is delishes with it, but my brother would die if i made it spicy so i added that to my bowl after
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UM i added some cornstarch sometime after i put in the coconut milk bc i wanted it to be thicker, ig another solution would be to use more veggies! i only had 1 sweet potata and didnt wanna overwhelm the soup with carrot so this is how it went for me
served with buttered bread <3
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KinnPorsche ep 4 Rewatch Rambles:
Hahaha Pete and Porsche being besties and joking around while Kinn is having a whole crisis about kissing Porsche
VEGAS WITH THE LIGHTER ugh I know he's just trying to get on Porsche's good side but damn he's good at it
Lmao jealous Kinn is almost as scary as jealous Mile
And again I'm distracted from the awkward "do you remember what happened last night" convo by the huge Deutsche Bank building lol
POL NOT NOW
KINN'S SMILE WHEN HE SEES PORSCHE IN THE SAUNA THAT MAN IS WHIPPED ALREADY
The way he sits right next to Porsche after putting more water on the hot rocks AND PUTS HIS ARM BEHIND PORSCHE LIKE A SCHOOLBOY TRYING TO GET HIS ARM AROUND HIS CRUSH BY STRETCHING OHMAHGAH
He has such a crush on Porsche "isn't your girlfriend mad that you're here?" is like 1 step away from "so, uh, are you single? Do you like men?"
"Since I've been here, I haven't seen you with any girls" yeah Porsche and what is that telling you? You literally escorted his hookup home. CLUELESS BISEXUAL BEHAVIOR
"If you were a girl, would you like a guy like me" KINN IS TRYING SO HARD TO FLIRT I'M SORRY KINN YOUR CRUSH IS THE MOST OBLIVIOUS GUY ON EARTH
Yeah yeah it's cute that he just keeps Porsche's head in his lap and smiles like that BUT PORSCHE JUST FAINTED GET HIM TF OUT OF THAT SAUNA YOU DIMWIT
Fuckkkk Vegas Bible is so pretty
I wanna steal Vegas' wardrobe, at least the less obnoxious shirts and that necklace he's wearing
Early VegasPete interactions... boyyyy they don't know what's coming
Jealous Kinn ayyyyy
Oh yeah just squeeze a little cheese ad into this very tense and awkward situation
BIBLE'S SOFT VOICE ADDS SO MUCH TO VEGAS AS A CHARACTER I AM (STILL) IN LOVE
I replayed Tankhun hitting Vegas in the head several times and at 0.75x speed bc it just never stops being funny
Porsche bragging to Big about being in the sauna with Kinn xD poor Big, he's been through enough
Especially bc he was supposed to bring the paper bag to Kinn (knowing damn well what's inside and who it's for) so I really can't be mad at him for transferring that responsibility to Porsche
Now I want a teddy bear like Arm's to hide behind, the secondhand embarrassment is too much
Lmao Big thought Porsche would be shocked that Kinn's gay, I smell internalized homophobia 👀
Porsche's little speech and Kinn watching with a that smile ahh
Pete is so cute aaaaaa
"Kissing is for people that we like only"
CHAYYYY MY BABYYY
JEFF I MEAN WIK I MEAN KIM I MEAN AAAA PRETTY BOY I WANNA STEAL HIS GENDER AND ALL OF HIS JEWELLERY
HIS SMILE AHHHH
HIS FACE WHEN CHAY KNOWS ALL THE WIK MVs THAT HAVE CATS IN THEM
At that point he didn't know who Chay was right?
"Take off your shirt" and I oop-
"He's mad, so he returned you to me" - "if he hadn't returned me, would you ever think of taking me back" I'm gonna break something
Just remembered what happens after the diamond auction - aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa why did it have to happen like that
THE CORKBOARD
Why is Pete the only one wearing a black turtleneck instead of a white shirt? Why are Ken and Arm not wearing ties? I really thought their dress code would be more strict
VEGAS SEEING RIGHT THROUGH KINN'S LIE ABOUT TANKHUN BEING MAD AND RETURNING PORSCHE
"Saved by the bell" ashdjskdmfnsjdkdb
Tay! Give me your gender! Ahhhh he's so beautiful
Lol everyone sees through Kinn's lie EVERYONE BUT PORSCHE ONCE AGAIN FOR FUCK'S SAKE
Porsche trying to ask Kinn if it's ok for him to accept the water + Kinn trying to smile at Porsche = recipe for disaster
I can't believe I didn't realize it was Vegas who had Porsche kidnapped when I watched for the first time - but then again I was pirating it and the quality was fucked so I couldn't see shit and I didn't know anyone's voices well enough yet
But oh my god "I'll try to be gentle" AAAHHHH WHAT THE FUCK BIBLE YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME
Lol I paused at exactly the right moment to see that Vegas had a bit of a wardrobe slip-up... his black boxer briefs are visible through his white pants lol
WHEN HE FLIPS PORSCHE OVER LIKE THAT UMMMM I-
Oh no I know what's coming. Kinn no. He's drugged. KINN. STOP.
Yes he threw up but he's obviously not sober. The whole scene just makes me uncomfortable
On another note, Kinn's tits. 10/10
Porsche agrees
I'm sorry I just can't enjoy this scene as a fan of 1) slow-burn and 2) consent
Finally I'm seeing Vegas' ass in full HD - why is he naked while smoking in front of the mirror in a room full of candles anyway, like just for the aesthetic or...?
The "reveal" that he was the one who had Porsche kidnapped - THAT I MISSED WHEN I FIRST WATCHED IT BC HIS FACE WAS SO PIXELATED I WAS LIKE WHO TF IS THAT GUY STANDING IN A DARK ROOM WITH RED LIGHTING I'VE NEVER SEEN THIS FACE
This is the only reason why paying for TV shows kinda pays off
#these keep getting longer i am so sorry#but on the other hand im not fircing anyone to read them lol#this is just me blogging into the void bc it's more fun if i can share my reactions#kinnporsche rewatch#kinnporsche the series#kinnporsche ep 4
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Feu's December 2022 BL/GL Wrap-Up
A little monthly wrap-up of all the shows I’ve watched or am watching in December 2022, general thoughts, and ranking of them all.
Recommendation of the month:
To Sir, With Love is just so good if you’re into this sort of thing and I hope we get more lakorns with queer main characters and queer romances since it seems to be pretty popular in Thailand. This month I hope more people come across Love of Secret so that they also see there’s an audience for GL and make more.
youtube
Ranking
To Sir, With Love
Ghost Host, Ghost House
My Secret Love = Love of Secret
Catch Me Baby - side BL
My Esports Genius Brother
Average Rating: 5.9/10 (but it was still overall a great month bc of my rewatches)
MDL Updates - Added to Watchlist:
A section because I’m curious about how many shows I decide to add to my Watch List a month and also the ratio of watching them:adding them
Happy Ending Romance
Legend of Yunze
Yes or No
Tsukuritai Onna to Tabetai Onna
Catch Me Baby
Weak Hero Class 1
Choco Milk Shake
Alice In Borderland
To Watch List At Start Of Month: 46
To Watch List At End Of Month: 47
Removed from To Watch List:
Happy Ending Romance (lol removing it the same month i added it)
What Zabb Man!
Watching On-Air
Nothing because I don’t want carry over to 2023 :’)
Completely Watched
Ghost Host, Ghost House
Country: Thailand
Release Dates: Oct 5, 2022 - Nov 23, 2022
Watch Via: Youtube (free)
Watch Dates: Nov 28 - Dec 3, 2022
Rating: 6.5/10
Overall Impression: Pluem and Kevin, bro they were soooooo fucking cute just unbelievable I was cheesing throughout so many of their interactions. they really felt like people who liked each other and also just bounced off each other so well. Idek how I feel about the last 1.5 eps because in terms of writing, I have some qualms but like Kevin and Pluem are so cute that I can’t even think critically. Also, I love the deliberate choice of using you/I so much and what it means when it’s used vs not used (meung). The ghost stuff was intriguing and I’m glad they didn’t somehow make them come back or anything. I wish we got some more background in terms of how things actually worked and some more lore building but I’m still generally okay with the way it went, combining the comedy and sadness. I wish we had more of the GL rip
tags: ghost host ghost house
Also Appears In: Ghost Host, Ghost House Live Blogging
The next two weeks where I finish up assignments and study for exams will be for rewatching some of the stand-out shows for the year! Might watch fully for some and might watch some parts for others.
Rewatch
I don’t think I’ll do Live Blogging for these and I’ll instead have a different type of watching summary here.
Bad Buddy - full rewatch
Country: Thailand
Rewatch Dates: Dec 4 - 8, 2022
Rating: 9/10 || Changed? No
New Thoughts: One of the best things about the rewatch is truly just coming at it with the knowledge of Thai particle endings, titles and honorifics, and more of a cultural knowledge. Also can’t believe I rewatched so much of the show, usually I rewatch only parts I love. Continues to be my favourite BL of the year, hope something comes along next year that takes over my brain just as much to be honest.
Fave Ep: 7 (fave series of eps is 4 - 8)
Fave Scenes: Mentioned in Bad Buddy Rewatch Blogging
tags: bad buddy
My Year in 2022 - Tumblr
KinnPorsche: Vegas scenes
Country: Thailand
Rewatch Dates: Dec 9, 2022
Rating: [no change bc only watching parts]
New Thoughts: Pete’s “Khun Vegas” and “Pom” and “Krub” turning into “Gu/Meung/Vegas” is fun. A lot of post-canon fics turn VegasPete into very healthy and well-adjusted people which is just not true, I love how Vegas is dishonorable and shitty even throughout ep 14. The acting continues to be great and also I was less irritated during this rewatch bc I didn’t watch KP or KC or “plot”
Fave Ep/Scenes: the ep 10 - 14 VP stuff is great
tags: kinnporsche, vegaspete
Love Mechanics - Skim Rewatch
Country: Thailand
Rewatch Dates: Dec 10, 2022
Rating: [no change bc only watching parts]
New Thoughts:
Fave Ep:
Fave Scenes: Ep 2 - 2 (Vee taking Mark to a restaurant, Mark tying Vee’s shoelaces), Ep 3 - 1 (Vee talking to Ploy on the phone in front of Mark and Mark distracting himself by picking out garlic from Vee’s plate bc he doesn’t like it), Ep 4 (Mark buying instant noodles to cook for Vee + being protective of them. interesting bc VegasPete also have the noodles motif lol), Ep 6 (can I call the VeeMark fight scene a fave, Mark-Kan and Vee-Bar’s parallel convos), a bunch of other scenes I didn’t keep track of, ep 10 after credits (roleplay reverse phi/nong and cnc woahhhh)
tags: love mechanics
Not Me - Skim Rewatch
Country: Thailand
Rewatch Dates: Dec 11 - 13, 2022
Rating: [no change bc only watching parts]
New Thoughts:
Fave Ep:
Fave Scenes: a lot of the earlier interactions are cute, 6-4 choking out scene is insane fr the emotions and acting in that ah, 7-3 protest and pride, 7-4 Yok and Dan in Dan’s home, 8-1 Sean coming to White’s home and apologizing and baring his soul, 8-2 Yok being cheeky while painting Dan, 9-4 when Black and White meet again and Black takes back his piercings, 11-4 Sean finally finding out about Black vs White
Fave Scene: 9-1 the best section without a doubt - I loved how SeanWhite checked in on each other in the beginning and also afterwards with the “are you okay?” and it felt like they each actually cared about each other and the interactions held emotion more than the other “consent scenes” that make me feel like it’s just smth to check off rather than something you actually want to communicate to a partner and is also not cringey to watch. Also cheeky Yok coming over to Dan’s station at the end
tags: not me, ship names
Secret Crush on You - Skim Rewatch
Country: Thailand
Rewatch Dates: Dec 14, 2022
Rating: [no change bc only watching parts]
New Thoughts: I love how Nuea isn’t overly cocky and doesn’t pressure Toh into admitting his feelings and isn’t 100000% certain that Toh likes him and would be perfect with him. When Nuea sulks or gets hurt by Toh’s carefully put on callousness or uncaringness (ep 3 him being annoyed that Toh keeps saying shit! everytime they met, 3-4, 5-3, 8-3 Nuea sulking at Toh insinuating Nuea might wanna break up in the future, 9-3 when Nuea’s upset that Toh didn’t say they were faen to the girls and told them to join what was gonna be their date, 13-3), it feels so real like the feelings really matter to Nuea and that he can be hurt by the lack of reciprocation.
Fave Ep:
Fave Scenes: 3-1 when Nuea visiting Toh’s dorm to see the photos he took, 3-4 when Nuea comes to Toh’s room to ask about why he left the event early and sulks and there’s hurt from both ends because each think the other doesn’t care T.T so good, 5-3 Nuea/Toh lip kiss because of the Kung King game and Nuea being so sad that Toh had no reaction and was brushing it off and saying it was just a game, 8-2 their little heart to heart after confessing in the last part about why Toh takes photos, 10-4 just friendly friends playing games, 13-3 when Toh’s collection is revealed and Nuea’s reaction to Toh insinuating their relationship will end and them baring their souls to each other
tags: secret crush on you
HIStory2: Right or Wrong - Skim Rewatch
Country: Thailand
Rewatch Dates: Dec 15 - 17, 2022
Rating: 6/10 [Updated: 0.5 increase]
New Thoughts: yeah it's enjoyable and fun but i skipped almost entirely of ep 4
Fave Scenes: it’s so short, just reach the whole thing at that point
tags:
Catch Me Baby (side BL) - not a rewatch
Country: Thailand
Release Dates: Oct 6, 2022 - Dec 15, 2022
Watch Via: WeTV (free)
Watch Dates: Dec 17, 2022
Rating: 5.5/10 [unrated on MDL]
Overall Impression: saw a few clips of the show on tiktok and was thinking of watching it through these tiktok vids but now that I’m anticipating Bed Friend even more after the trailers, I think I’ll watch their parts on actual weTV lol. They made them both friendless, annoying losers who don’t have friends bc their classmates don’t like them but they still have money and get girls; it’s like two opposing tropes in one. Thought it was interesting that Foie was basically open about really liking Tan from after the kiss but he didn’t think they’d be good or that Tan was serious, so didn’t pursue anything. The car crash was a useless decision but the asking to be bfs scene was cute, though they disappeared from the story after that lol. They have really good chemistry and ability to play off each other, think that with some more acting skills, Bed Friend would have great chemistry/acting.
tags: catch me baby
Blueming - Skim Rewatch
Country: South Korea
Rewatch Dates: Dec 18, 2022
Rating: [no change bc only watching parts (tbh I watched 80% of it lol but yeah no change)]
New Thoughts: idek man there’s something about the way this show is made and shot and acted and THE DYNAMIC that makes me delirious and like my brain is knocking around loose in my skull
Fave Ep: no specific ep sticks out to me but the middle few eps where they’ve become friends and before the drama reveal, they are sooooo alksdfj
Fave Scenes: Ep 4 “ “Well, if you do me wrong, will you buy me bread too?” + the over-the-hand kiss, Ep 6 the confession scene and before and after it too, Ep 8 kiss where Siwon’s too eager
tags: blueming
His (2020) - Full Rewatch
Country: Japan
Rewatch Dates: Dec 19, 2022
Rating: unchanged
New Thoughts: so good still T.T my fave japenese show/BL
Fave Scenes: just rewatch the movie lol
tags: his (jpn)
Semantic Error: The Movie - Full Rewatch
Country: South Korea
Rewatch Dates: Dec 19, 2022
Rating: unchanged
New Thoughts: I was gonna skim rewatch the show but the movie turned out to come out on Viki, so rewatched the full movie instead. I like it a lot, still so cute >.< Want second season after Seoham finally gets out pls I continue to like Yuna a lot. Also, during this rewatch I think I noticed more just how often they (Jaeyoung, Sangwoo, Yuna) swear or call each saekki
Fave Scenes: rip i was too busy watching to keep track
tags: semantic error
End of Rewatches
End of my 16 day rewatch journey of rewatching most of the 2022 stuff that I enjoyed. Not rewatched but 2022 shows I rated high were The Eclipse, Badhaai Do, Boku mo Aitsu mo Shinrodesu - We’re Both Grooms and I might rewatch them. I had a handful of non-2022 releases that I rated high and out of those, I might rewatch Life: Love on the Line (Director's Cut), No Touching At All, P.S. I Hate You, Utsukushii Kare.
Now onto To Sir, With Love because it’s like 17 70 to 75-minute episodes lmfao and now is a good time to let it consume my life since I have no school
Thai BL/GL Filming Schedules
To Sir, With Love
Country: Thailand
Release Dates: Oct 3, 2022 - Nov 28, 2022
Watch Via: Youtube (free)
Watch Dates: Dec 20 - 24, 2022
Rating: 7/10
Overall Impression: Definitely enjoyable and also different from other BLs I’ve watched because this was a lakorn that had a huge component of Tian being gay but the actual romance took up very little screen time. Very dramatic, gives me Indian serial vibes. The acting, characterization, occasional action were all good. The focus on women, even though they were mostly fucked in the head, was also a welcome change in the midst of all my BL consumption.Yang and Tian’s brotherhood was everything!!! I love siblings and sibling bonds so much T.T Yang/Pin were also freaking adorable!! Tian and Jiu were not the biggest part of the story, didn’t really even have much interactions before ep 7 but they were sooo romantic.
tags: to sir with love
Also Appears In: To Sir With Love Live Blogging
My Secret Love
Country: Thailand
Release Dates: May 28, 2022 - Aug 20, 2022
Watch Via: Youtube (free)
Watch Dates: Dec 26 - 30, 2022
Rating: 6/10
Overall Impression: When Mek-Kim were cute, they were cute but there were some poor choices with their writing that made it boring sometimes or just lacked sense, like with the separation. Park-Lee my lovelies who call each other ‘ter’ and propose at the same time and are physically affectionate and have feelings like insecurity or jealousy. Bomb and Bear were so cute in the beginning but then became :< sad in the end but it felt like something that could happen with wonky work-life balance. Tim and Mai were sooo rancid and passive aggressive in the middle, I was liking it but then the confession was anti-climactic and then they fizzled out. This show had a lot of heart. Don’t think I’ll remember much except Park and Lee but it was a fun enough watch while it lasted.
tags: my secret love
Also Appears In: My Secret Love Live Blogging
My Esports Genius Brother
Country: China
Release Dates: Aug 13, 2021 - Aug 26, 2021
Watch Via: GaGaOolala
Watch Dates: Dec 31, 2022
Rating: 4.5/10
Overall Impression: I read that this didn’t have actual brothers or incest, so I gave it a chance cuz I wanted some esports competitive enemies to lovers + celebrity trope. instead it’s like some Deluded vs feelingless person enemies to lovers with lots of other plotlines that were too complicated for this 12 ep show with 4 mins an ep agh. also was this dubbed or was the audio just weird? also the acting lmfao man this show kinda just irritated me
Love of Secret
Country: Thailand
Release Dates: Nov 5, 2022 - Nov 12, 2022
Watch Via: Youtube (free)
Watch Dates: Dec 31, 2022
Rating: 6/10
Overall Impression: my last piece of media watched for 2022! It was cute and tackled a few things (Punpun working to realize her idol dream, her relationship with Tim, Punpun’s dad’s approval, Punpun’s aunt and the guy who keeps breaking watches, along with plenty of other characters and scenes), it would’ve been so good as a 10 ep show, oof. now it was a cute watch but too short and speedy to really empathize with what the characters are going through beyond the initial ‘oh that sucks’. I liked the stuff it focuses on: girlfriends, chasing dreams, (complicated) familial bonds and looking out for each other, but it would’ve been better if fleshed out
tags: love of secret
Whew, last show of the year and last monthly wrap-up of 2022! Now to finish up this post and then things like my 2022 show overview and 2023 Shows post and such.
2022 Overview + Stats
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tagged by @thatoneweirdhumanisback owo! the other post is CRAZY fucking long with the reblog chain so im just separating my own lol
(and im glad u think im cool hehe :3 n i get being afraid to reach out to Cool Online People but if u ever wanna chat with me or somethin im down owo! i swear as a cool as hell person im also Just Some Guy. i contain multitudes JGKBZJF)
Rules: Tag 10 people you want to get to know better.
Relationship status: im dating my wonderful girlfriend @ megalo-station :3 shes the best i love her so much ♡♡♡ (also shadow the hedgehog and hiei are both my husbands-)
Favourite colour: pink!!!!!!!!!! hot pink, light pink, dark pink, reddish pink, purplish pink, magenta, bubblegum, fuchsia, i love every kind of pink!!!! pink like this specifically is my fave (this exact color is what i use as my name color on discord owo!):
Favourite food: my fave food of EVERYTHING would be hard to pin down so im gonna go for Categories-
if im going savory, then 1000% pasta. like any kind of pasta is fucking amazing. whether its more like spaghetti, alfredo, ramen, simply buttered, or anything else, im gonna eat the FUCK out of that.
with sweet stuff... ough man i love so many sweets. strawberries are probably my fave fruit, and i love having them added to or dipped in various stuff (like put on cake or in brownies, dipped in chocolate, sugar, or cream cheese, etc).
and i fucking LOVE desserts man. i cant even decide what my fave kind of dessert would be bc whatever id prefer just depends on the moment. cookies, cake, brownies, fudge, cheesecake, its all DELICIOUS. i just recently made some rasbperry brownies and ohhh my goddddd they were so good. mixing fruits with dessert is the gd best. adding coconut to them is Top Tier
Song stuck in my head: its only vaguely in my head atm but animals by architects! i just discovered the song yesterday and i fuckin LOVE it. actually i think im gonna listen to it again now lol. addendum: listened to a couple more songs afterward and now i also have god complex by vira and nightmare by megumi ogata going thru my head
Last thing I googled: well, lol. i was looking up a site i could get a quick pic of the color i put up there ^ and apparently #FE0071 is also some sorta technical number for an electric fuel pump?
Time: it is 1 minute after 2am as i get to this part. i just woke up like an hour or so ago. my sleeps fucked up rn lol (i really dont like waking up this early, i much prefer waking up at like, anywhere between 10am and 2pm)
Dream trip: id love to go to japan someday with my girlfriend- once i actually like. learn some of the language lol. theres so many cool things over there related to series i love n i wanna experience them soooo bad. i HAVE to go inside a pokemon center some day!!!! miku concerts!!! series themed cafes!!! and id LOVE to go to the cat island and fox village, i love those animals sooo much.
Something I want: since im a huuge rouge and kurama kinny and have gotten ear, wings, and tail phantom limbs, i sooo badly want to get these:
tho id be ordering the ears without the lil slices on the ear. but OUGH i want these. so gd fucking badly. once i have these ill be unstoppable. ultimate kinny mode
as for people to tag, uhmmm... perhaps @pinkcatminht @yoko-kurama-the-sex-god @hiei-doesnt-like-waffles if yall wanna? :'3
#do i have a tag for these kinds of posts. i cant remember lol#tag game#anyways thanks for the tag :'3 these r so fun to do
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Made a sweet n sour curry variation— it was meant to be a pineapple chicken, but I had a few missing ingredients (namely uh the chicken) and so I played around with it a bit.
No chicken to coat and cook, so instead I threw in boiled potatoes and sweet potato. I'm really becoming the boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew potion concocter, eh! But I'm moving next week, so this was less of a 'let's go get ingredients!' thing, and more of a chance to use up what's in the fridge so I have to carry and move less stuff.
So we made the sauce as is:
Base:
Sauté chopped onions: heat them in oil on low heat until they're a bit soft
Add spices to it: garlic powder, whatever else your heart fancies in small doses: I used some cinnamon powder and some cayenne. Your salts and peppers.
The sweet n sour bit of the sauce:
Pineapple juice (loads), brown (or w/e) sugar, vinegar, soy sauce (all in equal quantities) and some flour (about half of the sugar, etc.). Technically, the recipe called for cornflour, but if you give it a good five minutes to cook properly, flour is okay.
I also used some of the sweet potato boiling water because it's also kinda sweet and I didn't have as much pineapple. Chicken broth would also do, but like I said. No chicken in my fridge rn.
Keep whisking as you add each bit in so you get an actual sauce without lumps of flour/sugar or stuff settling in layers.
Pro tip: if the flour is the last thing you add, you can taste the proportions as you add stuff. Too sweet? Add more soy. Too much vinegar? More of everything, sorry, you're fucked
Cooking:
Into the base of sautéd onions, add the boiled (and cut, because I'm not a heathen) vegetables: for me it was potatoes and sweet potatoes, but I also had some frozen veg so that went in. Bell peppers n stuff is lovely with this. My pot's (potatoes; this did not look like I thought it would in my head) were soft enough from boiling so honestly I sort of ended up just coating them.
Then add in the sauce, keep stirring, add more broth of choice if you like.
If you've got too much pineapple sweetness, then actually do add non-sweet broth. How much is really you vibing it and sizing up your onions: the minute you've got too much water and not enough onion, you will taste the water; the unfortunate truth of cooking is that water is cool, but water is not food. If you want more quantity of food, you uh, need more quantity of food (this was for me, I am bad at proportions).
If you'd like a thicker, more jam-like texture, then firstly the stickiness of pineapple juice from a pineapple helps with that (I got one of those pre-cut ones from the grocer's, they tend to release juice over time). Secondly, go for less liquid, but also remember to account for the fact that some will evaporate because you're cooking.
Sorry if you're smarter than this; if you check the premises of this blog (pinned post) this is basically cooking for dummies. For idiots. For vengeful, low-skilled bastards that want to make something so good, it makes everyone in their life who has doubted their cooking re-think their whole life so far. Such idiots are often so focused on the revenge part of this dish that we forget little details. Like. Water boils when you heat it and then there's less water.
I ended up also adding a finishing sweet and sour (possibly Thai; I can't remember bc it is 2 am) sauce I was enticed to buy at the grocer's even though it was 10 days before I move house. How we all fall. So anyway, I must use the sauce, and in lieu of just coating cooked chicken/shrimp/other meat or veg, I just kinda threw it into the sauce.
Again, this is all optional because it's cupboard-emptying stuff, but I threw in some flax seeds on top, and honestly, when serving, I have also enjoyed it with a dollop of mayonnaise and a small cut of a cheddar cheese slice, but I don't really think using mayo in everyday cooking is a great idea? But also, I had soft-boiled eggs, which also did a fantastic and really fancy-looking job of drizzling into the stew at the very end ('plating', if I may be so bold (<- sucks at plating)).
That's vengeful cooking, baby!
And of course, me being me, I finished it with rice. My whole existence is stews for rices. I bought a 3 kg pack of rice because it was 1) long grain (my mum nods in approval) and on discount. But. 10 DAYS BEFORE I MOVE. So yeah, rice bonanza. I am having so much rice. Living a real regal life out here.
And that's the dish! Revenge may be best served cold but please for the love of god have this while it's still hot and mmm so yummy.
Pics tomorrow maybe (though it'll be of a reheat) because it was mmm so yummy that I never took a picture.
(Quick rice tip: water : rice 2:1, + maybe a quarter glass of water extra to keep it from burning if anything fucks up, 18 mins on the timer, start at high heat, when you hear the boiling, turn it down to medium (that's like a 5 on a numbered stove, think 6 o'clock) and then just taste and monitor when you've got around 4 mins left. People say rice is hard, please, rice loves you and it's very easy give it a chance.)
Update:
With some sesame sprinkled because why not. Extra flavour. Lovely eh?
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things that make me happy:
- reading romance books…oh how i love love love my books! theyre the best part of my day.
- listening to nice songs as i lay in bed or go about my day. there are just some songs that i love more than myself.
- halloween themes
- jumping around
- dancing in the shower with cold water blasting on me
- spending time with my family…sometimes
- the idea that one day i’ll fulfill my super fucking awesome bucket list!
- being alone/ not talking to anyone
- talking to myself
- cold temperatures + cozy clothes and blankets
- when my bed feels like a hotel bed. sometimes i just really need those vibes
- fresh air
- smelling good/feeling soft after showers. i dont know but it just makes me so happy.
- nice hair days. need i say more.
- lighters. something about holding it and igniting the flame is so comforting to me
- building legos! i love legos so much. my biggest set as of now is the hogwarts castle from harry potter with exactly 6,020 pieces. i have yet to build it but when my family’s new house gets finished building i’ll finally have the space to build the hundreds of lego sets my dad bought.
- learning spanish (when im not tired)
- sending/receiving emails. there’s something so special about it that makes me love it so much but no one uses email for personal matters anymore which i find so sad.
- organizing. in a way it makes me feel like i have control over some aspects of my life.
- taking walks around my ginormous school…but only when im alone
- drinking tea in my living room as the sun’s out and it’s windy. it makes me feel as though im actually living and enjoying life.
- physical touch (only from people i like). even though im deathly afraid of it, to me, physical touch in any way in so intimate and loving that it makes me feel all warm inside when it does happen.
- people who i can talk to without constantly having to filter myself or give great thought into what im about to say
- chocolate cake. i am obsessed with chocolate cake i’ll eat it any form or shape. they make me so indescribably happy.
- receiving (unexpected) compliments. as u can tell, im extremely attention deprived so any compliment really just makes my day.
- chicky! my emotional support stuffed duck who i hug every night as i go to sleep
- my website!! a while back i made a simple html coded website that acts as a journal of all the books i have ever read along with my rating for it and nothing beats the feeling of adding another book into the roster. as of now, my review/thoughts about my books are up on a twitter account i made specifically to talk about my books but one day (when im not lazy) i’ll create a page layout where i can insert my reviews about books.
- grilled cheese sandwiches. wowowowow how i loove grilled cheeses. theyre an all time favorite food!
- living rooms! no matter what house im staying in, i always always hang out in the living room and theyre especially great in afternoon bc i love the atmosphere where the sun is shining and its slightly warm out
- pool/beach days :) i love everything about them—the sun, the water, swimming. if i could live in the water, i would!
- the feeling of sun shining on me
- sushi. i am actually obsessed with sushi and will eat it for every single meal if left unchecked.
- anything fuzzy really. fuzzy blankets, socks, shoes, headbands. despite what everyone says about it being too hot, its my favorite material!
- fandoms. i love seeing other people geek around and be equally excited about certain tv shows and movies as me. its such a nice feeling and makes me feel bonded to them especially when its about a rather niche fandom.
- freshly baked cookies
- when people ask the right questions about me
- random acts of kindness. not just to me, but experiencing it around me as well is such a beautiful thing
- tumblr and reddit :) i love anonymous apps and how everyone is so real about themselves. there aren’t any facades and pretentiousness.
July 2, 2023 (Sunday)
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