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milkttea · 4 years

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Damsel, Not in Distress

Jungkook x reader, Spiderman!Jungkook, GN!Reader: one shot

:: warnings: swearing, school

Pain is temporary, GPA is forever — @finah on Twitter

I’m a Damsel with Distress, but I'm pretty fine here.

How you found yourself in the situation you’re currently in, you didn’t entirely know. Was it incredibly weird? Oh definitely. Actually, let’s go to the beginning of your day and see how you found yourself bound with rope and feeling your nihilistic attitude grow so much more.

Now it had been a relatively normal day, at first. You got out of bed a little later than what your alarm had been set to. You’d stayed up the night before to work on an assignment that wasn’t even due until the next week, but you wanted the weekend to be free so that you could relax. Still, you did leave in time to get to school without being late though, which you considered a win considering you really didn't want to be in the building.

When you got to your classes, the students were a little too loud for your sensitive ears and you wanted to just sleep the day away, but just went through the day best you could. The end of the day for you had come around pretty quick, nothing really happened, not that you’d expect anything to, but the events that would lead to you being tied up with rope started with lunch with your friends.

“(Y/n)! Over here!”

You’d been called over to a table where your usual rag tag group of misfits were, but there was an extra guy there. You recognized him as someone you'd talked to a couple times and he was pretty cute, you’d say you had a minor crush on him. His name was Jungkook, really smart guy, super sweet, kind of quiet unless he was with his friends, an all around Nice Guy, but actually a nice guy.

He didn’t look like he could hurt a fly. Oh how wrong you were.

To be honest, seeing him at your table surprised you, he was a mutual friend of yours, but it was weird seeing him in the lunch room. He was more the type to stay away from large groups of people and staying with his friends, only coming in occasionally if they were desperate for food, but you weren’t opposed to him joining the group.

“Oh hey Jungkook, hope I don’t sound like a jerk, but what’re you doin at lunch? You usually don’t come in here.”

It was a genuine question and you hoped you didn’t come off as rude, since you often didn't see him within the general vicinity of the cafeteria, to quote him from a conversation you once had asking about the same general topic: “people are gross and I would rather stub my left pinky toe than step foot in that nasty ass room.”

"Oh— Namjoon, Jin, and Yoongi had some studying to do for their exams since they have them next week, Hobi finished his classes for today and bailed, and Jimin and Tae are hanging with some of their friends in the gym. I didn't feel like tagging along this time, they were really sweaty."

He pushed his hair back as he was talking, what a cutie.

"Damn, well welcome to our little trouble group."

With that all of you ate your lunches with little pieces of banter here and there, nothing really significant to point out. Once lunch ended though, you and Jungkook headed out together since you'd started an interesting conversation about the city's Friendly Neighborhood Spider-man™.

"I don't know man, Spider-man needs a break, poor dude goes out like every day! He gets his ass beat—"

"Wow, rude—"

"He wins! I'm not saying he doesn't win! I'm just saying he gets hurt and probably doesn't have enough time to heal completely before going out the next day to deal with the next day's bullshit!"

Jungkook had to admit, this isn't how he thought the conversation would turn out. It started with you saying how you’d give your left lung to give him a hug and then it diverted into the current topic. The conversation ended once you had gotten to your apartment, and after saying goodbye Jungkook went back to his place. It was near, gotta stay close to the school to save gas money, and he thought a little about what you said. You were right, he didn't get breaks and was rarely healed up enough, even with his super regeneration. It was... nice to see some concern from someone other than Tony.

Deciding to not think too much about it, he put his stuff away and got suited up for his usual patrolling around the city. He also got ready to his favorite person, you. At some point on one of his patrols he wasn’t really paying attention to his surroundings, he was thinking about what he should have for dinner, ramen or do his homework until 2 am, truly an important question to ask himself. Anyway, he had been swinging by the apartments that were nearest the campus and saw your window open with you belting out the lyrics to Chop Suey!

This caused him to stumble and he flew directly into the space right by your open window. This scared you and embarrassed him, he truly never wanted to perish more than in that moment. You, being the nice person you are, asked if he was okay and after hearing confirmation invited him in to your room to have a drink. Was it dangerous of you to do so? Yeah, but at that moment you weren’t exactly thinking too clearly, Spider-man just smacked face first into the bricks of the wall after all.

From that day on, he had visited your apartment and a little friendship had begun to form. Back to the present day, Jungkook just made it to your apartment window when something didn’t seem right. For one, your window was wide open. Now it wouldn’t seem to weird to anyone else, but you only kept yours halfway open and with the big screen over it, this time there was no big screen and it was open all the way. The second thing to tip off that something wasn’t right was that there was no sign of you in your room, but it was like a tornado went through it.

The papers that would usually be on your desk were all over your floor, your water bottle had spilled everywhere, and your backpack looked like it had been thrown across your room with the contents all over the place. You weren’t here, but you had been briefly before you disappeared.

Now he was panicking, as both Spider-man and Jungkook, you were significant to both his hero life and his personal life. Frantically he began turning over stuff in your room trying to find anything that could point to where you could have gone. He then found an envelope, no address, it didn't say your name on it and it wasn't opened. There was something about the envelope that just didn't seem right, so he opened it.

It was written for him, and he took off to the address within it.

You were kidnapped. Because of Spider-man, no, because Jungkook had been around you too often as Spider-man and now you could be in danger or worse, dead.

He'd never swung through the city so fast. At this point he wasn't being careful he was just frantically swinging as fast as he could to the address of a warehouse that was used to house cranes and bulldozers. He arrived and swung into an open window, it led to the top floor where workers could go to fix the roof.

As he landed there he finally let some rational thinking take hold of him and surveyed the area, where were you?

"Karen, could you do a check for heat signatures?"

"Of course, Jungkook."

The eyes in Jungkook's mask had changed the vision from the usual clear view to a heat radar, with it he could see every person and got a scan for them. You weren't there, he looked harder and eventually found a body, tied to the top of a crane, placed over a makeshift kennel, with the roof open, of rabid animals fighting each other. Well this certainly can't be good.

"Karen, that's not a good sign right? Rabid animals attack whatever moves in front of them?"

"That would be a yes, Jungkook."

Immediately he springs into action, webbing together everyone he saw to different areas and wrapping them up in webs. He narrowly missed the shots of guns that were pointed towards him, and stayed high up in the building to make it harder for them to aim at him.

He lands on the crane that you're on, the crane swinging slightly and makes a move to grab you, but the sound of something powering up stops him. There, on the ground with a smirk aimed at Jungkook is a man with a scar that takes up most of his face and a large weapon shaped like a bazooka and with other weapons pointed towards you both.

"Well, if it isn't Spider-man, here to save the damsel in distress?"

You, who had been blindfolded turned your head in the direction of the voice, "I'm not a damsel in distress so shut your trap, you soggy testicle looking ass bitch!"

Jungkook whips his head at you, Karen offhandedly commenting on him getting whiplash, and takes off your blindfold.

"Name calling? At a time like this?"

Blinking at the sudden flooding of light into your oh so sensitive eyes, you see your friend, absolute madd ladd of a companion Spider-man.

"Spider-buddy! Nice to see ya!"

Jungkook could have fallen off the crane had his feet not been stuck on it.

"I– you're tied up right now? How are you so calm?"

Shrugging best you could, you make a face, "can't really do much considering I'm pretty tied up at the moment, pun intended."

Now he had been expecting you to be panicked, terrified, maybe crying? This, though, was definitely nothing like he had anticipated. You always continue to surprise him.

You wiggle a little and wince as your side stung a little. When you were taken from your apartment they hit you in the side and knocked you out. Felt a bit like overkill to you, but you did say some obscene things and threatened their genitals so you found it fair. Jungkook just stares at you, making you just a bit uncomfortable, but he spaces out pretty often so you didn't think too much about it. Ignoring the very possible death that is only about a hundred feet away and the pain in your side and head, you try to start a conversation.

"Sooooo how's it goin?"

Both Jungkook and the dude who kidnapped you look at you incredulously and yell:

"Really?!"

Startled, your body jolts and the ropes binding you slip a little and your body falls just a bit.

"Oh that's probably not good—"

"Are you really asking that now? You– you're tied… to a crane… above rabid animals? Along with multiple weapons pointed at you? You're not even the tiniest bit worried?"

In your mind you’re thinking, ‘why hasn’t he gotten me down yet?’ To be fair to Spider-man, you are placed pretty precariously over rabid animals and have multiple weapons pointed towards you both. Anyway, the words that leave your actual mouth:

"Gotta be honest, my GPA and financial status instill more fear in me than the dude that looks like literal bacon over there."

Your voice got louder towards the last bit of your sentence and both of the men look at you. Jungkook at this point was on the verge of having a heart attack. The other man in the room with you (the only one that isn't tied up) was feeling pretty offended and debating just putting you out of your misery.

You continued speaking.

"I mean, is this ideal? No, but it's something different and I can't exactly free myself, y'know no powers or anything like that, so I guess I'm just here. Oh and uh Spider-buddy? My ropes are kind of slipping by the way, so if you could pretty please with a big fat cherry on top pick your dick up and help a friend out that'd be great."

Jungkook, finally snapping out of his stupor, just noticed that your ropes were in fact slipping and grabbed your torso, untying you and swinging you both away as the villain below began shooting, narrowly missing each fire.

"'Pick your dick up,' really?"

You put your face into his neck, telling him to shut up.

Before Jungkook left with you he told Karen to call the police and to arrest the people in the warehouse. He places your body on the top floor, where he came in through a window, and went back down to the villain to web him up. This time, he was not as good at avoiding the weapons firing at him while he goes around him firing his spider webs. By this time the people who had been webbed up were freed by their comrades with knives. He gets hit in the side by a bullet and falters in the air while he grips his left side, well this isn’t good.

"So I didn't get to ask this before, but why did you take this school suffering student?"

The villain just looks at Jungkook's mask, where the eyes are.

"Well to hurt you of course, being close to others only makes it easier for people like me to hurt you. Be grateful I didn't do anything too bad. I may be a villain, but I’m not a monster."

Jungkook stills, did you end up getting hurt? He didn’t recall Karen mentioning anything about you being injured. Then again he was too worried about you to think clearly. His thoughts slowly began taking over his mind and during this the man in front of him pulled a knife and slashed it at his face. That action startles Jungkook, the knife cutting through his suit and marking his face.

He knocked the man out and went back to you as he stumbled, hearing the police with his super hearing and swings away with you held close to him. Finally your both back at your apartment, and go into your room where you see how much of a mess it is.

"Ugh this is gonna be a pain to clean up, sorry about the mess."

Jungkook, kind of upset with how nonchalant you've been, rips off his mask so fast your mind begins reeling and just starts to shout at you.

"What the fuck are you talking about?! You got kidnapped, because of me! I could care less about how your room looks like right now, how are you so calm? You could have been hurt or been killed and your saying sorry for your room? I could have lost you today, (y/n)! What if I hadn’t visited you today and because of that you died? This is serious!”

He finishes his shouting, panting heavily while you just stare at him. It’s Jungkook. Jungkook is Spider-man and has been visiting you for months. Once it finally dawns on you that his mask is now off and his face is showing, you run to your window closing and shutting the blinds. As well as locking your bedroom door after quickly checking to see if your roommate is home.

Thankfully they aren't, most likely spending the night at their girlfriend's place. Bless them and their relationship.

"Okay, you can be mad at me for being all nonchalant, but you've been hiding this! You're Spider-man, you're constantly in danger and you're getting mad at me?! Jeon Jungkook you could have died on any of the patrols you do and I wouldn’t know what happened to you, none of us would know!"

Jungkook, realizing he took off his mask in a short fit of anger, steps back a little. Both of you are breathing slightly heavy, taking a pause to think over all the events that had just happened in a short time. The one to make the first move is Jungkook who just grabs you and hugs you tightly to his chest.

Not expecting it, you awkwardly place one arm around his shoulders and the other around his waist. Closing your eyes and just rubbing his shoulders blades to help calm him down, he was shaking ever so slightly in your grasp.

“Jungkook, not to ruin the mood, but did you get hurt? I know that sounds dumb because you have a cut on your face, but I’m just asking to be sure you’re not hurt anywhere else.”

His shoulders tense under your hand.

“And don’t lie to me, I can feel the wound on your left side and it’s kind of grossing me out right now.”

He let's go of you and sits down on your desk chair, his head was down and he looked a little dazed. You left your room briefly to get a towel, a bowl of water, your first aid kit and a glass of water for Jungkook.

"Here, I'd say drinking some water is good right now."

He leans his body back in the chair, wincing at the ache in his side, and looks at you.

"What about you? How are you feeling?"

You were getting the hydrogen peroxide and a gauze pad from your kit when you stopped. Your head had a dull ache, but you didn't think much of it. You were coherent, able to form sentences and move freely, so technically you were fine. The chances of you having a concussion though? More likely than you think, but you’ll get it checked out when your done with Jungkook. The ache in your side though, that needed some ice.

"For the most part… good? I got hit in the head so I'll need to get that checked out later, and I have ice so I can slap that on my side."

He lets out a loud sigh, bordering on groaning.

“Please take care of yourself, I’d rather not hear that you died from getting a concussion.”

You let air out through your nose in a silent laugh, which was so inappropriate it's not funny you're just uncomfortable. Spraying some of the hydrogen peroxide on Jungkook’s face causes him to wince as the solution fizzes, you walk around your room tidying up a little bit against your own better judgement. You should probably be laying down or calling an ambulance, but with Wonder Boy here you feel guilty just leaving him.

Also if your friend decided to come home early and just walk right into your room it’d be damn near impossible to explain why he was there in the first place.

“Turn your head to me,” you wipe the solution from his face with the gauze, “you’re lucky that the cut isn’t too deep, it doesn’t look like you’ll need stitches.”

He lets out a puff of air causing you to scrunch your face.

“That is some musty ass breath, Kook.”

He laughs, which makes him wince as he grabs at his side. Immediately, you move his hand to look at his side.

“Alrighty so I’m gonna need you to turn yourself so I can look at both sides, if the bullet is still there it shouldn’t bother you, but if not then that’s where the problem is.”

It seemed luck had finally been on both of your sides, there was no exit wound and he wasn’t coughing up any coffee grounds looking substance so there was no internal bleeding. All pretty good, just gonna need to clean the wound which would be a bitch and a half, but better than getting an infection.

Telling Jungkook this was not fun, going through with it was worse. He immediately went to bed in your clean, nicely made— just kidding your bed was a mess. You made him take off his suit and gave him some sweatpants that were big on you, and a giant shirt that you had. You really liked oversized clothes, so what?

With the shower he took, the bandages on his side and face, and the medicine you gave him for pain the minute his head touched your pillow he fell asleep. In the meantime, you picked up the things in your room that didn’t make much noise.

Eventually you went to bed on the couch in the living room, a little uncomfortable but you refused to sleep in the same bed with Jungkook. He had other plans though, he had sensitive ears and could hear you tossing and turning in your sleep. He left your room and went to the couch where he picked you up and brought you to your bed and laid there with you.

Arm draped around your form, you both slept soundly after such a stressful day. Truthfully, you were the “Damsel in Distress,” but if your hero was Spider-Man, and Jeon Jungkook, you didn’t mind.

#spiderman jungkook #jungkook x reader #bts jungkook #bts jk

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diabolikdiabolik · 4 years

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Commando Wild Cat (aka Violent Killer, 1987)

The German VHS cover promises “her bazooka destroys them all“ and “thousand deaths overkill”!

#commando wild cat #violent killer #barang terlarang #indonesian #action #rape and revenge #eva arnaz #bazooka #rebell video #vhs #cover #movies

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bazooka-overkill · 2 months

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do you guys think aran is the kind of guy to go "im literally mewing right now. you guys should start mewing🙄🙄🙄" or do you think he'd make fun of people who mew

face of a true mew maxxing king (idk wtf any of those words mean btw. this came to me via the butter popcorn.)

#please tell me this makes sense #aran ryan #punch out #punch out wii #thought of this while eating microwave popcorn #butter lovers for anyone curious😋😋#bazooka-overkill #bazooka overkill

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radroller · 3 years

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Massive step down from Ant Bazooka. Piranha face + piranha crotch is a little overkill imo

#stephen watches jetman

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reversemoon255 · 4 years

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RX-78GP02R天 Gundam GP-Rase-Two-Ten

I feel like the Build series seriously underestimates the abilities of the GN Drive. A single GN Drive is able to fuel a high firepower unit like the Virtue or Seravee, and two in sync can bend the laws of physics. This thing has FIVE. It and its weapons are powered by three, which is already overkill, but then the Two-Ten adds two rapid-fire bazookas that are each powered by one. Again, think of the final fight scene from Trailblazer and remember that part of each GN Drive’s power is also diverted to moving the machine itself. All that raw energy funneled into a single blast. I hope this guy’s in Re:Rise because I want to see the destruction.

The Good: An overall very solid kit. With a wide array of weapons, and different ways for it to use each; there are a ton of poses and variations you can come up with for this unit. The shoulder binders also function as extra arms, allowing for even more options. Storage for almost all of its weapons is a plus, too

You have the option of building the GP-Rase-Two featured in Build Divers, or the GP-Rase-Two-Ten from Re:Rise. The only differences are the storage locations of some weapons, the addition of the GN Revolver Bazookas, and the claws on the binders. It’s easy to swap between the two forms, as the claws can be easily disassembled.

The Bad: While you can achieve a variety of poses with the GP-Rase-Two-Ten, its actual joints are a bit lacking. There’s specific molding in the shoulder armor to allow for great outward range, but the elbows can’t even bend 90°. Similarly, the knees and ankles can’t adjust very far, and with a back-heavy unit like this having good feet is important for maintaining balance. It does fall backward if you’re not careful or don’t use a stand.

The Details: Like the 00 Sky and AGEII Magnum, I did the panel lining in gold. There were quite a few recessed areas I did in black (such as the holes in the wrists, the feet and toes, behind the orange in the head, and all the weapon barrels), with parts of the hip skirt done so as well to break up the red. The panel lining around the GN Drives was done in metallic green to simulate GN Particles, and the GN Eye Blasters were done in metallic red.

(I know all the Drives are Tau variants, but the unit is already monotonously red.)

Overall, this is a great kit that is able to get over its lack of movement with a good accessory pool and multiple limbs. It’s also that one unit from Divers you wanted but they never released (or in my case, thought they did but when you looked it up it was just display mock-ups). I don’t know if I’d recommend it in a vacuum, but if you like the base unit, the series, or the character there’s no reason to avoid it.

#Gundam #Gunpla #Gundam Build Divers #Gundam Build Divers Re:Rise #Review #Gundam GP-Rase-Two #Gundam GP-Rase-Two-Ten #Gundam Physalis #Ogre #Gundam 00 #Model Kit #HGBDR #1/144 #1/144 Scale

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bestfrownsforever · 4 years

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Frown of Doom: Chapter 1

(Cover art by me)

That’s right, it’s FINALLY here, everyone! :D Now prepare yourselves, it’s a big one…

The Unikingdom was sunny and bright as always, and as some of the citizens watched from the bright pink bleachers by the castle, others hopped around in a three-legged race. They were all enjoying themselves except for Q.T. and Toaster, who struggled to stay in the lead. The competition was very close behind them, making them sweat. But before they knew it they tripped and crossed the finish line. Confetti spread, party lights shone, airhorns went off, and Toast popped out of Toaster with an “OOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!!”

Princess Unikitty cheerfully flew over to the finish line. “And that’s the end this year’s Unikingdom Three-Legged Race Festival!“ she announced, "Congrats on a job well done, Q.T., Toaster, and Toast!” All the citizens cheered.

“In fact,” Unikitty continued, “I’d say you guys have made this race the kingdom’s best one yet!”

“Yeah sis,” her little brother Puppycorn agreed as he ran her way, “it was a lot of fun!”

Dr. Fox walked over with a clipboard in her hands. "Numbers don’t lie,” she said as she typed away at a calculator, “and even analytics determined that this was been the best three-legged race in the kingdom’s history!”

“Especially when everyone who fell got back up again to keep going,” Hawkodile said as he swooped in.

“Couldn’t agree more, Hawkodile!“ Unikitty chirped. She flew up into the air again, announcing "Now let’s all party!” to the racers and audience alike.

The music and lights began again as Unikitty, her friends and the citizens began the dance party. Richard floated over to them, paying extra attention to the spilled confetti and the racers’ dirty bodies.

“Princess, in this mess? Are you sure?” he asked. “Of course!” Unikitty replied, “Besides, today’s been great! Even if we didn’t fix anything, there’s nothing that can go wrong!”

Everyone kept dancing as Richard only stared. “I wouldn’t count on it,” he said, no one bothering to listen.

(Art by @x-master-brock-x)

As the party went on, Master Frown and Possessed Brock parked their (horribly repainted) car behind Unikitty’s castle. They hopped out, shielding their eyes.

“Ughh, forgot how bright it is here,“ Master Frown grunted. “You can say that again,” Possessed Brock groaned in agreement. “Well I’m not going to,” Master Frown bragged as his eyes glowed, “because I’m too starting a ‘special announcement.’”

The speakers in the kingdom streets roared with static and the party came to a screeching halt. Everyone in the kingdom went silent out of confusion and in some cases, fear.

“Guys, what’s going on?“ Unikitty worriedly asked. “Someone must’ve hacked into the speakers!” Dr. Fox assumed. She tried to run off and fix them when Hawkodile held her and their other friends back. “This could be dangerous, everyone stay back!” he warned.

The speakers’ static cleared and everyone began listening to a familiar voice they had almost forgotten about.

“Hello? Hello? Is this thing woking? Ok, my name is…no, that’s stupid, you already know who I am. It’s just been such a looong time since you’ve even heard about me. And trust me, there’s a reason. While you bozos were ‘busy’ with your stupid little ‘positive’ lifestyle, I’ve become bigger and stronger than ever before! I’m not your pesky milk-spiller anymore, no. I’m ready to do worse. Far worse! I bet none of you will even be breathing by the time I’m done with this kingdom! I’d suggest you’d all run and hide but it doesn’t matter. I’ll find you no matter what, even if it’s just revenge that keeps me going. So hear me out, idiots: your hours are numbered, not even your days!” Master Frown finished his announcement with an evil laugh, unlike any he ever let out before.

Possessed Brock kept his stare on Master Frown as the doom lord walked back to the car. “Uhh, you mean we’re gonna find them no matter what?” he asked.

“Yeah, yeah, but…” Master Frown paused, his eyes glowing brighter yet. “…actually, I’ve got an even better idea now!” Master Frown laughed again, tossing a walkie-talkie to Possessed Brock and walking away. “Uh..’thank you Brock!?’” Possessed Brock sarcasm was almost as strong as his disappointment.

(Art by @pastel-gothicorn)

Back at the party, citizens ran in circles and screamed as Unikitty and her friends froze in disbelief, aside from Richard and Puppycorn.

“Well I did say I wouldn’t count on it,” Richard said.

“Wait, who was that?” Puppycorn asked. “Master Frown!” Hawkodile yelled at the puppy prince, “And now he could actually be dangerous!” “But this is is still Master Frown,” Richard reminded him, “We need to consider if he’s as dangerous as he says he is.”

“Well come on guys, we’ve been through a lot worse before,” Unikitty declared, “so whatever he does, we just gotta stay positive!” “Exactly!” Dr. Fox agreed, “Starting with…” Dr. Fox took out a megaphone, cleared her throat, and yelled from the top of her lungs to the citizens:

“EVERYONE RUN AND HIDE!!! THIS IS NOT A DRILL, I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL! THIS COULD BE THE KINGDOM’S BIGGEST CATASTROPHE YET! STAY INDOORS, LOCK YOUR DOORS AND WINDOWS, OR BETTER YET, EVACUATE THE KINGDOM IF THERE’S ANYWHERE YOU CAN GO! UNTIL WE’RE SAFE AGAIN, YOU NEED TO RUN AND HIDE OR ELSE MASTER FROWN WILL GET YOU!!!”

Every single citizen obeyed, flooding the kingdom streets and squabbling for their lives from someone who really didn’t care much about them. Their princess watched as the animosity grew, the opposite of what she wanted.

“Dr. Fox was that really necessary?” she asked her friend, “Even at his worst you know Master Frown can’t be THAT bad.” “Yes, possibly,” Dr. Fox replied, fixing her glasses, “But you heard what he said, and if we don’t take what he says seriously we could be goners! Luckily I know exactly what to do. To the lab!” Dr. Fox jumped down a hole that appeared through the floor, leaving her friends behind.

Puppycorn optimistically broke the silence. “So if Master Frown’s coming back, that means we can all use our super rad skills to stop him, right? Or at least I think we all have skills. What can you do, Rick?”

“I can tell you that if we really are in danger,” Richard replied, “the best course of action would be to stand our ground and raise the castle’s defen-“ “FIGHT TO THE DEATH!!!” Hawkodile interrupted. As Richard signed, Unikitty and Puppycorn came closer to Hawkodile.

“Yeah, let’s do it!” Puppycorn shouted as sparkle matter popped from his head. “Yeah! I guess.” Unikitty agreed. As the friends split up, Master Frown and Possessed Brock watched from afar.

“Good,” Master Frown rubbed his hands as his eyes dimly glowed, “now time for the perfect plan to begin!” He pointed to his henchman. “Brock, start with the fox nerd’s lab everyone should be fair game without a better way to fight back. But leave Unikitty alive. She’s mine to take.” His eyes became brighter and his smile widened. “And once she realizes all her friends are gone…” His words turned more and more into giggles until he erupted into wicked laughter again. He dashed away into his car and drove off, leaving Possessed Brock behind.

“Wait, where are you going!?”

: ~~~ :

Down in her lab, Dr. Fox's mind raced in a million different directions at once: about how amazing and complex she could make her inventions, how dangerous Master Frown really was if worse came to worse like he said, how she'd be the hero to save the kingdom by taking him down, or even how absurd it was that water could travel faster than lava but not as fast as Puppycorn could eat all the food in the castle. And all as she was working on several advanced weapons. As she finished another laser gun, Richard floated down from the ceiling to see her.

"Oh hi, Richard!" Dr. Fox turned around and greeted him, "You're just in time! Check it out," She picked up a long, thin bazooka. "This is the Higher-Upper, meant for super long-ranged distance." She picked up another gun that unleashed a sword when she pressed the trigger, but kept it in the muzzle. "And this one's called the Razor Revolver!" she announced as she swung the gun and attached blade around, "I borrowed some of Hawkodile's swords to make this one." Richard worriedly watched as Dr. Fox pushed the sword back through its cylinder.

"Dr. Fox I appreciate your determination," Richard said, "but this seems a little...overkill."

"Rick," Dr. Fox insisted, "whatever plan Master Frown has to wipe us out could be 'overkill'!"

"Yes but that's not what I mean," Richard explained, "I'm afraid that if you're not careful, these inventions could be more dangerous than Master Frown himself. You have to work with the rest of us if we're going to come up with a proper solution, I mean did you even ask Hawkodile if you could use his swords to begin with?"

"Uh..." Dr. Fox face went blank and she lowered her head. "No."

Richard floated closer. "I rest my case. It's not a good idea to come up with solutions this way." "Yeah but Rick, you gotta show a little more confidence," Dr. Fox assured him, lifting her flamethrower, "We can do this together, like you said, but not without the proper set of arms!"

Richard screamed as Dr. Fox used the flamethrower right in front of him. He could hardly stay calm like Dr. Fox suggested as she stopped and looked up smiling.

"Uh huh," Richard somewhat agreed, "well I'm staying here just in case."

"Be my guest!" Dr. Fox winked, "I guess I could use your approval after all."

She continued work on her weapons as Richard sighed, his tired eyes following her busy paws.

(Art by @friffinx)

: ~~~ :

“Come in PB, this is Best Doom Lord Ever, do you copy?” Master Frown’s voice asked through the walkie-talkie.

“Enough with the code names, I told you they’re dumb!” Possessed Brock groaned in a dead-panned voice, “But yes, loud and clear. Now where did you go!?” “Nowhere too important, just to get the Frown-copter,” Master Frown shrugged.

“The WHAT!?” Possessed Brock yelled, “You went back to Frowntown!? Why didn’t you just find her and get it over with!? You’re making things a lot harder for yourself, man.”

“First of all someone needs to remind you what the word ‘distraction’ means,” Master Frown began, “secondly I’m already on my way back, and third it’s either this or more long trips by car or foot, take your pick.”

“Neither of us have feet,” Possessed Brock said bluntly. “YOU KNOW WHAT I MEANT!” Master Frown yelled. “YES I DID!” Possessed Brock yelled back, “That was just fun.”

“Well the last thing I need you to do is make fun of me and the first is get to the lab!” Master Frown ranted as he started up the helicopter. “Don’t worry, I’m almost there.” Possessed Brock bitterly confirmed.

“Good, now don’t let me down!” Master Frown declared, “We’re getting that disgusting cat no matter what!” He laughed manically again, but Possessed Brock couldn’t stand what sounded to him like a cat choking on nails anymore. Rolling his eyes, he pressed the walkie-talkie’s power button and groaned as he continued on his way to the castle.

: ~~~ :

Inside the treehouse dojo, Puppycorn wagged his tail and eagerly followed Hawkodile’s every move as the bodyguard opened a chest of weapons. Unikitty only stared, still believing that Hawkodile was overreacting a little.

“No, you two still don’t understand what’s really going on here,” he warned again, “Master Frown’s trying to kill us all, Princess. As in actually kill us! And as your bodyguard that’s something I’ll never let him do. Besides, when he says he’ll find us no matter what, don’t you think you should take that even a little seriously?”

“Well I’m taking it seriously!” Puppycorn replied confidently, “Why else would we be here other than to test out our sweet fighting skills so we can kick his bingleberry butt?”

Unikitty and Hawkodile exchanged glances, knowing well that poor Puppycorn wouldn’t last a second in any real combat.

(Art by @pastel-gothicorn, again)

“Well you’re not wrong,” Hawkodile sighed, “It’s five of us against one pest, if you can even call Frown that anymore.” At that moment Unikitty came to a horrible realization.

“WAIT WHAT ABOUT BROCK!?” she yelled, “We were so caught up in Master Frown this whole time that we didn’t stop and think about him!” Her guilt came on fast, and it showed. “Huh, yeah what about him?” Hawkodile said, “He’s always been a real cool guy so it’s a tough call.”

“Maybe Master Frown turned him into a robot,” Puppycorn suggested, “And he’s also an evil jerkface who wants to destroy the kingdom until we stop him and save the day!” He began playfully mimicking a fight between robotic and heroic characters.

“Well, what if he’s trying to help us?” Unikitty cheerfully suggested. “Oh yeah that too, good call,” Puppycorn agreed, “Or both!” He gasped, wagging his tail. “What if he’s really on both sides!?”

As the siblings went on, Hawkodile hung and shook his head. He lifted a heavy axe. “Puppycorn actually has a point,” he said. “I do?” Puppycorn gasped happily. “He does?” Unikitty asked.

“Brock’s probably coming after us the same way Frown is, so I hate to think this way but…” he swung the axe around and held its back towards hi, “better safe than sorry.”

Unikitty gasped. “But I don’t want to hurt him! He could still be the amazingly wonderful blocky guy we always knew, even if he and Master Frown really are evil.” She paused. “Wait, I didn’t make any sense, did I?” “No you didn’t,” Hawkodile said, “You know what? He’s always been kinda confusing as is, so let’s just focus on Master Frown.”

“Ok,” Puppycorn and Unikitty agreed in unison, one more willing than the other.

: ~~~ :

“And this one was made especially for you!” Dr. Fox said as she handed another new invention to Richard; a silver dart gun. When Richard pulled the trigger, out came a tranquilizer with a paperclip shaped like a needle.

“Wow, silent but effective,” Richard admired, “You know me so well.” “Of course I do!” Dr. Fox replied, “It’s not actually effective though but hey, it makes for a great distraction while the rest of us do the actual fighting.” Richard’s face changed to disappointed as Dr. Fox pointed to another table. “I also have some cleaning supplies in some bigger and longer guns in case you need them.” Richard floated over to the table and picked up a mop rifle.

“This makes me question your decisions and faith in me more, but I think I’ll keep them. Thank you,” he complimented with a warm smile. “Hey no problem!” Dr. Fox humbly bragged.

“‘No problem?’ Hah, that’s cute,” an eerily familiar voice echoed down the lab hallway.

Dr. Fox and Richard slowly turned to their left. Possessed Brock was coming closer and closer, scraping his scythe on the wall and chuckling as if he were a Doom Lord himself, the shrill symphony accompanied by his evil smile.

“Oh no!!!” Dr. Fox yelled, grabbing Richard, “How did we forget about Brock!?” “I don’t know, but we have to do something-“ Richard’s voice shook until Possessed Brock swung his scythe in between them. Both would-be victims screamed as they dodged him and ran in different directions.

Trying to defend himself, Richard aimed his new dart gun at Possessed Brock as his body shook and he began breathing heavily. Possessed Brock looked in the floating brick’s direction in enough time to see the paperclip fired at him and flick it away. He raced toward Richard, swinging his scythe only for the brick to avoid being sliced every time.

“Dr. Fox you have to do something or we’re going to die down here!” Richard called out as he evaded death. “What does it look like I’m trying to do!?” the doctor replied, peeking her head out from behind a stash of weapons. Possessed Brock turned around and ran in her direction, jumping into the air to strike her. Dr. Fox ducked and rolled away, leaving many of her new inventions behind to be smashed to bits.

“NO, MY WEAPONS!!!” Dr. Fox cried. Richard floated in from behind her as Possessed Brock got up.

“Well isn’t that a fitting reaction,” he commented, “Didn’t know what to expect though.” He jumped up to strike them again, Richard floating through the floor and Dr. Fox, scrambling to find what other weapons she left lying around. The Razor Revolver caught her eye, and she crawled as fast as she could to get a hold of it. She tried holding it properly until she felt the assassin coming her way and pressed the trigger. Out came a sword in just enough time to save Dr. Fox and give her more time to run back and charge at Possessed Brock. He charged back, and their blades clashed.

(Art by @samthecookielord)

As the fight went on, the Frown-copter flew through the cloudy skies, its driver’s eyes glowing with the mere though of what was to come. Nothing scared him; not the dark clouds, the lighting, or the loud engine giving signs of failing, until a crow flew by and crashed into the front window.

“Out of the way, bird!” Master Frown shouted, swiping with his hand. But before he could press the wipers button, a swarm of dim red light and fire enveloped the crow and flung it away along with the movement of his hand. Master Frown pressed the brakes.

“Wait a minute,” he realized, “I REALLY CAN MOVE STUFF WITH MY MIND!!!”

He laughed again as he drove the helicopter and controlled different of its functions at once using just his mind. Buttons, switches, and fans kept going on and off, all of it meaning nothing to the driver other than his powers were indeed getting stronger.

The forces of good and evil continued their fight in the lab, avoiding each other’s attacks and scowling, knowing that they were both so close yet so far from winning. Possessed Brock swung his scythe over himself again when he stiffened. He groaned, holding his face with one hand and his scythe with the other. Dr. Fox watched, confused as to what was going on and wondering if she should keep her guard down. The red light in Brock’s eyes and demonic sounds in his voice faded as he opened his eyes. He looked around the lab he never thought he’d miss, then at Dr. Fox, staring with equally bewildered eyes.

“W…Dr. Fox??” Brock asked, his head (or lack thereof) still hurting, “What am I doing down here? What’s going on…d-did he really get back to the kingdom like he said he would!? No no no NO NO NOOOOOO!!!” He dropped to the floor out of guilt.

“Brock, what do you mean?” Dr. Fox walked over to him, “Why aren’t your eyes red anymore?” “He mind controlled me, that’s why!” Brock clenched his fists and grunted in the middle of his breakdown. “Wait mind control? Since when could he do that?” Dr. Fox asked, “Either way it does explain why you were just trying to kill me and Richard.”

Brock gasped, tears staining to the lab floor.

“Listen, I am SO SO sorry, I didn’t mean to do any of it! I’d never hurt you, or any of our friends, or anyone who lives here! You didn’t do anything wrong, and I would’ve warned you if I could but the last thing I remember was being told we were coming back here and that he had to control me again.”

“Well,” Dr. Fox suggested, trying to calm him down, “how about we put our weapons down and talk more about this?” “Really?” Brock dropped his scythe and looked her in the eyes again. “Definitely!” Dr. Fox helped him up.

“I’ve helped people with their problems plenty of times,” she continued, “So trust me Brock, there’s nothing a little science can’t fix. Helping you out should be a breeze! Right Rick?” She turned around to find more broken machines and totaled weapons, but Richard was nowhere in sight.

“Richard?”

The gray brick floated up from behind a shelf, his eyes reflecting every inch of fear in his little body. “Is he gone?” he asked with all his strength.

“Nope, he’s right here” Dr. Fox said as she walked his way, “But he only come after us because he was mind controlled. Maybe we can help each other out now!”

Richard floated close to Dr. Fox again, this time inches away from her face. “Doctor, mind control or not he just tried to kill us! Can we really trust him if he’s supposedly under a supervillain’s control?”

“Good question,” Dr. Fox replied as she fixed her glasses, “but hey Brock’s never been as big of a bingleberry as Master Frown is.” “Uh…thanks?” Brock said from behind her.

Richard’s stare went from back and forth between Dr. Fox and Brock, giving the latter a colder focus. “Fine,” he groaned, floated over to Brock.

“So, care to explain what happened since we last saw you and your ‘friend?’” Richard asked. “I’ll tell you everything, I promise,” Brock nervously said, “just please don’t get mad, ok? It’ll just make things worse.”

“Don’t let Rick get you more upset, Brock,” Dr. Fox butted in, “All we need is to find out why Master Frown’s so different.” “Got it,” Brock understood, “Just prepare yourselves cause it’s gonna get heavy.”

“Umm, alright,” Dr. Fox still tried to accept everything warmly. “Believe me, I’ve heard worse than you’d think,” Richard reassured him.

: ~~~ :

Several moments passed before Brock could explain everything to Richard and a nearly trembling Dr. Fox.

“Wait, what!?” Dr. Fox shrieked, “I never imagined he could ever do THAT! And you’ve been living like that for how long again!?”

“Six months,” Brock answered. “Brock…I don’t know what else to say other than…well, that this is terrible!” Dr. Fox stammered. “I’ve still heard worse,” Richard said bluntly.

“Well, not everything’s completely different. It’s kinda hard to explain,” Brock admitted, trying to stay optimistic but becoming sadder with every word, “One day he’s his usual, silly self, and the next he’s as evil as his bosses were. And I don’t know if he really knows what he’s doing sometimes, either. It’s like he knows he has these weird new powers but not what they are or how to use them. Maybe it’s some cry for help when he looks at me all mad at himself, but it doesn’t change the fact that this whole thing’s a living nightmare!”

“Well,” Dr. Fox said thoughtfully, “hopefully we can figure out all these question about the Doom Lords and pummel that stupid, selfish Frowntown scum to the ground, and get you somewhere safe and sound!”

“Yeah,” Brock nervously giggled, “just try not to pummel him too much.” “You just told us about everything he’s done and you STILL- ” Dr. Fox grumbled before taking a short, deep breath. “Well, I do understand how much he means to you, ” she admitted, “and if there’s one thing I’ve learned it’s that your friends’ lives matter more than any experiment ever could. So we probably won’t punish him too bad for you.”

Brock began feeling warmer inside as he thought about it. Maybe they could get Master Frown to finally open up about what changed him so badly and they could find a solution that benefitted everyone. Maybe Brock and Master Frown didn’t have to be so awkwardly afraid of each other anymore and they could be as close as they used to be. Maybe they could be friends without constantly reassuring each other that they were, or even more, like Brock always dreamed they would be.

He cuddled Dr. Fox in an attempt to not think about it too deeply and focus on the present. “Don’t know what I’d do without you Doc, can’t thank you enough!” “Oh it’s quite alright,” Dr. Fox said, bringing Richard in, “So what do you say guys, let’s get this started!”

Dr. Fox, Richard, and Brock walked through the castle halls, just making it to the first floor when Brock’s head began aching again. He held it and tried to hold back his pain. The red in his eyes was coming back.

“Brock, are you ok!?” Dr. Fox asked as she and Richard tried to help him. “I-it’s happening again!!” Brock said, struggling, “Go, g-get e-everyone else before I hurt you!”

Though not wanting to leave him behind, his two friends ran forward anyway. After more yelling Possessed Brock opened his eyes and came to his senses, realizing that his scythe was missing. Remembering that he was last in the lab, he ran back down to find it lying on the reflective, blue floor; waiting for him to pick it up and run back out. He tried to sprint as stealthily as he could to the foyer when he heard an optimistic “And then things are gonna go back to normal!…hopefully.”

Possessed Brock stumbled mid-run and tried to pick himself up before he could make too much noise. Then he hid behind a potted plant under the staircase and listened carefully to what was behind him. He could recognize the voices too well; Unikitty and Hawkodile were getting closer.

“Princess, you seriously still think you can just go easy on them, force them to talk it out, and then BANG the whole thing just blows over!?” Hawkodile still tried reasoning with her, “This is the time for combat, not words! Just think; the announcements, the threats, all the potential danger, and nothing scares you but Brock!?”

“Oh come on, Hawk,” Unikitty confidently said, “ just think: all we have to do is…”

“…surrender or your lives end here and now!” Possessed Brock finished, revealing himself and slowly coming up the staircase. Unikitty and Hawkodile held onto each other and screamed.

“Brock!?” Unikitty asked, now fearing what her supposed friend could do to her, “What happened to you!? Why are your eyes red!?” “You won’t need answers to those questions,” Possessed Brock drew his scythe, “You’ll be too busy begging for your lives.”

“NOT ON MY WATCH!!!” Hawkodile yelled. He guarded Unikitty and winded his arm back to punch the distorted personification of his once good friend. Possessed Brock dodged the punch and made his way up the stairs swiftly.

“GO, HURRY!” Hawkodile commanded. Unikitty flew up the staircase but turned to watch the fight from the top of the stairs. She still tried to understand what was going on as her bodyguard and would-be friend fought. Hawkodile angrily kept trying to punch and kick Possessed Brock, who avoided every attack with ease as he was chased up the stairs before he made it to the top and grabbed Unikitty. The princess squealed and struggled to free herself, trapped in his grasp as he ran down the steps again, past Hawkodile and out the castle door. Possessed Brock reached for his walkie-talkie as he ran through the castle grounds.

“I got her, let’s go!” he yelled into it.

Along came sudden swirling of the wind and sound of the Frown-copter came closer as Master Frown landed it on the hill, feet away from Possessed Brock and Unikitty. The princess froze as she peeked at his grinning face out of the entrance; not just because of his new look but also how he looked at her back, eyes and all.

“Good,” Master Frown relished over the loud engine, “Let’s do this.” For the first time in his live, he felt more evil than he ever had before.

“Master Frown!?” Unikitty screamed, starting to sweat, “I guess it’s great to see you again but WHAT’S GOING ON!?!? WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING!?” Possessed Brock ignored her questions and hopped into the backseat and all Master Frown said was “Aww man, we actually got her, let’s go!” with the innocence of a child getting candy or a new toy. The Frown-copter took off, and Hawkodile made it in enough time to just see it start zoom away. He wanted nothing more than to fly up to it at lightning speed and punch the red-eyed crooks into oblivion, but he knew that in order to take them down he couldn’t do it alone.

Hawkodile flew to his dojo, where Puppycorn, Dr. Fox, and Richard were discussing a potential plan of attack, and almost crashed landed into the entrance.

“GUYS, THEY’VE GOT UNIKITTY!” He announced, “EVERYBODY GO, GET OUT THERE OR SHE’S A GONER! COME ON, MOVE, MOVE, MOVE!!!” Everyone raced outside and through the streets, following the Frown-copter. Its driver heard some strange commotion from below even over Unikitty still screaming to get out. He peeked down from the driver’s seat he found Unikitty’s friends running after him, then up his way to find Hawkodile flying after them.

“Brock,” Master Frown aggressively whispered through his teeth before yelling, “WHY ARE THEY STILL ALIVE!?” “Not now, bingus!” Possessed Brock yelled back. “WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME!?” Unikitty still tried to squirm out of Possessed Brock’s grasp as he and Master Frown went back and forth and her friends raced after her.

Puppycorn and Richard ran side by side until the prince grabbed Richard and threw him up at the Frown-copter. It took only a few seconds for the screaming brick to reach the helicopter, and one more for Master Frown to smack him away, sending Richard falling as fast as he came. He landed next to where Dr. Fox stood, aiming the Higher-Upper at the helicopter and firing a missile. It seemed as though the missile would really hit them, and Unikitty and Possessed Brock began fearing for their lives. But Master Frown effortlessly raised the helicopter’s altitude higher into the air so the missile would miss it, land on the ground, blow a kingdom shop up, and make Dr. Fox furious.

Master Frown looked down and laughed at her rage when Hawkodile caught up to him. He stood on the landing skid and grabbed onto the doorway, shaking the entire helicopter. While Master Frown screamed and frantically tried to regain balance Hawkodile reached his hand out for Unikitty.

(Art by @friffinx, again)

“Princess, grab on!” he pleaded. Unikitty reached back, but just before their hands touched, Possessed Brock knocked Hawkodile off the skid and sent him falling.

“HAWKODILE, NOOOO!!!” Unikitty cried. This seemed to be her last straw as she growled with rage, turning into her angry form and shaking the Frown-copter again.

“ALRIGHT, YOU BETTER EXPLAIN WHAT’S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU’RE DOING TO MY FRIENDS-”

A tranquilizer dart hit her cheek, and she was fast asleep on the floor in her normal form.

Possessed Brock looked up to see Master Frown spinning a dart gun with a smug look on his face and chuckling again.

“Not bad, scrub,” Possessed Brock slyly thanked his boss. “Hey, watch it,” Master Frown said with the grin still on his face.

Richard, Dr. Fox, and Hawkodile helped each other get up as Puppycorn gazed into the sky, his heart feeling heavy.

“She’s gone…! MY BIG SIS IS GONE!!!” he sobbed, “What are we gonna do guys!?” Everyone else looked to each other, waiting for someone to give an answer. After a moment Hawkodile took it upon himself to give one. “Honestly Puppycorn, we don’t know.” He put his arm around the prince, and all four looked up to the setting sun.

WOW, that took forever but HEY, it’s finally here! And don’t worry, the other chapters aren’t as long as this one. (Except for maybe chapter 4, a lot’s gonna happen in that one too)

But thanks again for sticking around and being patient for so long, and an EXTREMELY huge thank you to me co-artists, who are linked above. Please check them out and give them your love. And to the co-artists who signed up but had to leave for one reason or another: don’t worry, I’d be happy to have you on board again if/when you’re able to.

And if you’re not a co-artist but would like to be, just message me here or on Amino! I’d be happy to show you how we do it and feature your art for the next chapters!

I promise the next few chapters will take less time to release, so stay tuned! ;D

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cultgambles · 4 years

Text

Nature’s Alfredo Sauce

I saw @wtffanfiction ‘s post on weird words to describe genitals...

and my friend dared me to write something with 100 of the words haha. there’s 108 in here i think.

i dont even know.

Word Count: 1317

It was 10:30 at night, the angel lay in her bed without a care in the world. Well, she did have one care: the human that she called with such sweet words earlier that day had not shown up at the time they agreed upon. They were supposed to be boinking about now. A little bit of horizontal monster mash, one could say. 30 minutes past ten, she was quite bored. There was nothing interesting on TV to sate her being, and nothing worth listening to or reading. She couldn’t even muster up any dirty thoughts to swipe at her tainted jewel.

Ugh.

Until...a knock at her door.

Begrudgingly, she got up, using her wings to carry her the short distance to the door. Lazy. Peeking through the peephole, she saw her human standing there, a bouquet of yellow and red roses gripped tightly in his hands. She opened the door slowly, and he gave a sheepish smile.

“Sorry I’m late,” he said, “the dinner party ran super late.”

“It’s fine. As long as you do what you intended to do before.”

“I do!” he beamed, suddenly his pocket rocket becoming throbbing manliness tenting in the cotton prison of his pants. “I brought it just for you, my lance of love, for my love!”

“Ohhhh!” She crooned, her velvet underground becoming moist as he advanced toward her. Her pleasure pearl throbbed with need, as their mouths were on each other in an instant, tongues battling for dominance. He kicked the door behind him, scooping his angel into his arms and carrying her towards the bedroom. Her legs gripped his hips, and she could feel his coke bottle cock poking her hershey highway. He THREW her on the bed, shoving his shirt off, marveling at the way her eyes drank up his well defined chest. She crawled towards him on all fours, pressing her slender fingers around his MIGHTY MAN NOODLE, feeling its rigidness stiffen even more, massaging the orbs. “Do you like when I touch your organ? Your fuck stem, organic crotch gun, diego the explorer--”

“I know you’re trying to hit 100 words but that’s a little overkill,” the man frowned. “You can just say sperminator and go.”

“It’s hard, just like your engorged staff. It’s gotten so big and thicc I don’t know if it will fit in my haynannernanners at all…” She opened her mouth, licking the veins along the underside of his doggy lipstick.

“Oh that feels so good on my pulsing manmeat. This bulging soldier boy is gonna wreck your triangular area so gud beby.”

“I can’t wait,” she moaned, the DNA rifle still in her mouth, sending pleasures of vibration to the man’s brain. She swirled the tip of the holy wand, and the man groaned, digging his fingers in her long long hair. After a few more languid licks and sucks, his horrible wet mushroom was SQUIZRTING SOME BABY BATTER RIGHT INTO HER MOUTH.

“Urg,” he moaned.

“Aaaa,” she moaned back, milking the last few drops from his peenie weenie. His fuckfluid was very salty, like he had a bad diet. As soon as she popped off of him, iT (God’s pinky finger) WAS ROCK HARD AGAIN. She couldnt wait to get that cherry assassin deep in her damp canal of lust.

“Lay back,” the man said gruffly, kneeling to his knees. His tongue found purchase on her love nubbin, his fish pole fingers making their way to her weeping folds.

“Ur so wet for me beby...just for me and my giant sausage,” he groaned into her love pocket.

“Yes! Only for u, my man with the love tool! I never met anyone with a better male organism than u.”

“Really? You mean that? No one’s got a better you-know-what than me?”

“I mean it b. Hurry up now, my letter o be gettin dry over here,” the angel rolled her eyes.

“Oh yeah,” he said, returning to the attack on her valve. Suddenly, he detached from her clam cavern, his man-carrot spewing thick, hot princely milk all over the bed. “Your slit of ecstasy tastes so good.”

Damn, she thought to herself, I wasn’t even close. If his mauve avenger didn’t do the job, she would play with her kitty later after he fell asleep.

He snaked up to her, pressing hot fingers to her love pillows, pinching the rosebuds. “Was that good?”

“Yes,” she lied.

“Now it’s time for my pink stiff flobberworm. In your jewelry box.” (His crimson bird was hard for like the 3rd time).

“Yeah, I think my vagoo would love that.”

The man sat up, pulling the angel above his lap, over the one-eyed snake so her mayonnaise drain was directly in place to slide in easily. She sank down on the mayonnaise cannon, filling her up deliciously.

“Oh, babe, your communism stick is in my chamber of secrets so deep and good.” The angel readjusted herself, bracing her hands against his shoulders as she started to move her hips up and down his beef bazooka. His burrito, in fact, was so big she couldn’t even fit all of him in her moist core. COo.

She gave a sudden moan as the hungry dragon hit that sweet sweet geronimo spot deep inside her.

“Oh, ur tube flute game is so much better than your mouth frickle frackle. Yesssss daddy just like that,” she whined at the end. “SO good in my pleasure casino.”

“Baby, u feel so good on my kryptonian meat.” he gripped her anal fortress with such vigor, it was sure to leave small crecrents. He took a mythical berry in his mouth, teeth grazing the sensitive spot of her fun bags as his hips rose up to meet hers. He POUNDED into her at inhuman speeds, the angel groaning with every pump of his muatra.

He liked watching his dark spire go in and out from her forbidden fruit, the way his crown jewels slapped her poop cavern harshly every time.

“Do you like your formerly caged viper meeting my downstairs mouth?!” she purred.

“Yeah looks great. Feels great. Must be mine.” (why did i think of p!atd emperor's new clothes??)

Soon, but not soon enough, the angel felt a tight knot in her belly.

The tell tale signs of an orgasm (surprised they didn't have another word for it). It hit her like a tonne of bricks as she threw her head back in ecstasy, her chest balls bouncing from the force. Each in a different direction, just like anime girl tiddies. She was wrecked.

The man felt her penis trap tighten as her walls squeezed his hairy wolf dingaling. A few more thrusts of his hips had his hardened arousal squirt his liquid love deep in her man muncher, quickly turning it into a cave with honey.

They both moaned wantonly, so loudly that the neighbors were probably also getting off from their wonderful time of bumbin uglies.

He pulled out of her cum dumpster, his love muscle flopping against his belly, still leaking spaff a bit.

The angel flopped over next to him, feeling warm pale liquid seep out of her egg chamber onto the bed.

“Your midnight meat train never ceases to amaze me. Like why is it so big and so good?”

“Good genes I guess,” he laughed, “but your woman-tomato is givin me a run for my money.”

“That was fun, you can come use your mighty sword of eros in my cock garage again.”

“Can I use my sugar quill in your fart factory next time?” He asked, batting his eyelashes.

“Sure, why not. Only if I get to peg your man pussy too. So it’s even.”

She laughed, pressing rumblr spheres (and subsequently naked body) on his person, hugging him close. Of course, his thingy became restless manmeat ready for action in 5 seconds flat.

“Another round of belly magic?”

#smut #writing #parody #funny #writer #lemon

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