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meltwonu · 4 years

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| 🎃 𝕸𝖔𝖓𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝕸𝖆𝖘𝖍 🎃 |

↪ ✦ playdate ✦

this chapter pairing; yandere!wonwoo x reader, side mingyu x reader

genre&warnings; yandere!wonwoo, kinda asshole!mingyu, creampies, sloppy seconds, intoxication, exhibitionism AND voyeurism, masturbation, dirty talk, one sided pining for all!!, kidnapping, stalking.

✖ That being said, I do NOT condone yandere-like/obsessive/possessive behaviour in real life. this is a work of fiction therefore I will indulge in it. If you do NOT like this kind of content, please just ignore it.

notes; if I’m being honest, the draft for this originally was completely different and I reworked it because I wasn’t satisfied with how it was turning out bc it was too similar to sea castles except mingyu and wonwoo were brothers kjdhfdkjh 😭😭 As always, thank you sooo much for the love and interest in Monster Mash! I know last chapter was.... erm, a lot. LMAO 😆 Have a great rest of your day/night and I’ll see yall tomorrow~! 🎃 👻 💕

word count; ~3800

chapters; 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - x - x - x - x - x - x

you call me on the telephone, you feel so far away;

you tell me to come over, there’s some games you wanna play

i’m walking to your house, nobody’s home;

just me and you and you and me alone.

The relationship you share with Mingyu isn’t necessarily one that you like to talk about, much less acknowledge on most days.

“O-oh, fuck, M---Mingyu!”

It’s purely physical and a little destructive, in your opinion. Especially when you found yourself frustratingly liking him more than you ever imagined.

He bends your leg, ankle resting against his shoulder as he angles his thrusts to graze against your sweet spot. Shapes dance behind your eyelids, lips parting in a silent moan when you feel yourself already close to cumming.

But it’s Mingyu that cums first, hips stuttering as he growls, “That’s right, fuckin’ take all of it, baby.”

He rides out his high, pulling out of you and letting your leg down before you can even process what’s happening. “Hey, wait, but what about me?” You ask, voice small as you watch him get off of the bed. He tugs his pants on, plucking a shirt off of the floor as he throws it over his head.

“Sorry, I gotta go take care of some business back at campus, Mr. Lee needs the papers graded before tomorrow’s 8AM and I’m already late. You can stay here if you want though, bed’s all yours. I’ll be back in a bit, I---sorry, I’ll make it up to you later.”

He’s gone in a flash, door clicking shut behind him as you sit with your legs still parted. Typical.

Groaning, you flop onto your back against his bed sheets.

“Thanks for nothing.”

Wonwoo says it’s the last time.

But every time is the last time.

He wraps a hand around his cock, soft breaths making the window fog up in front of him as he watches you and Mingyu through the window. He times the movement of his hand to match Mingyu’s thrusts as he pretends it’s your warmth wrapped around his cock and not his own fist.

“Fuck, fuck , fuck…” He whispers in succession, feeling his abdomen tightening as he gets closer and closer to an orgasm.

Wonwoo watches as Mingyu bends your leg over his shoulder, mental images of you underneath him instead.

He remembers the first time he’d seen you in Mingyu’s bedroom, curiosity making him watch through his bedroom window as you fell to your knees in front of the other male. Wonwoo knew better than to watch, so he looked away, cheeks burning crimson before he ever so slowly turned back to the window.

He couldn’t help it.

Wonwoo had seen you around the university campus too, hanging around the art kids in the building opposite the Sciences building where he typically stayed with his small group of friends; Mingyu included. He thought you were cute and kind, especially when you happened to hang around their group for the day. And he liked you, even if he was too shy to ever say it.

Which was precisely why he couldn’t understand your attraction to Mingyu, of all people.

Mingyu was selfish, almost irritatingly so, and Wonwoo knew.

Wonwoo knew you deserved better too, someone much like himself. Someone who would take care of you better than Mingyu ever could.

Movement in the opposite window has Wonwoo pulling himself from his thoughts, brows furrowed when he sees Mingyu leaving and you still alone in the bedroom.

“What…?” He mumbles, slightly confused when he watches you flop onto your back.

God, what he would do to eat you out right now.

He tightens his grip around his cock, this time imagining himself eating you out, tongue against your clit while you moan out his name and tangle your fingers into his hair.

A stuttered moan falls from his lips as he cums into his palm, eyes clamped shut as the pleasure washes over him.

Wonwoo promises it’s the last time.

“Hey, did you hear about Jeonghan’s Halloween party next Saturday?”

“He’s throwing one?”

“Yeah, I heard everyone’s invited too.”

Wonwoo pretends to go through his textbook as he eavesdrops instead.

If everyone was invited, that surely meant that you’d be there too.

Mingyu glances over at you, tapping his pencil against the corner of his textbook. “Hey…” He starts, “Did you hear about Jeonghan’s party?”

You glance up from your own textbook, bored eyes on Mingyu who looks up at you from his bedroom floor. Neither of you had talked about the previous time; opting to forget about it since it wasn’t the first time either. “What about it?”

“Wanna go with me? I’ll make it up to you for last time.”

No, he wouldn’t.

“I guess.”

You step out of the Film Developing room, arms full of negatives when you accidentally run into a body that walks up from behind.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” The negatives spill to the floor, scattering all around you as you and the other person kneel down to collect them.

“It’s okay.” The deep voice replies.

“Oh, hey, Wonwoo!” You smile, “What are you doing in the Arts Building?”

He blushes a deep red, kneeling and stacking the negatives before placing them back in your arms. “Oh I--I do some film editing on my own and I--um, I was just wandering around. I had some free time, so I was curious.” Wonwoo shoots you a shy smile as he pushes his glasses up on his nose bridge.

Wonwoo was very cute.

“Oh! I didn’t know that! I feel like I’ve never seen you around here…” You trail off.

“Ah, yeah, I actually have a personal studio on the east end of town. It’s small but… I don’t have to share my things, which I’d prefer.” He smiles, eyes twinkling. “It’s no fun when people mess around with your things and ruin them, y’know?”

“Oh my gosh, I knooooow. Minghao always messes up my developing station and moves my shit around.” You keep talking but Wonwoo barely acknowledges it. Instead, he takes in your appearance, admiring you as you talk animatedly about god knows what.

God, why’d it have to be Mingyu.

“Hey, so are you coming on Saturday?” He blinks confusedly at you, “Huh? Sorry, I--I didn’t quite catch that last bit.”

“Oh, Jeonghan’s party! Everyone’s invited so I was wondering if you were coming!” His blush burns darker; were you asking him out?

“I’ll be there with Mingyu but if you show up, you should save me a drink!” His excitement falters slightly at the mention of Mingyu, but he does his best to send you a reassuring smile.

“Of course, I’ve got one with your name on it.”

Wonwoo was kind, patient and understanding from what you knew.

You’d only met him a few times and you knew he lived in the building across from Mingyu’s but all of your interactions with him had only ever been pleasant.

In another universe, maybe you would’ve been in a happy relationship with someone like Wonwoo.

A sigh escapes your lips as you get ready for Jeonghan’s party; short dress barely covering your ass when Mingyu saunters into his bathroom where you currently were.

“Jeez, who’re you trying to impress.” He mumbles, sidestepping you as he checks himself in the mirror.

“I just felt like being cute, that’s all.”

Mingyu grins, hands on your waist before they slide down to your ass. He squeezes hard; a chuckle on his lips when you mewl.

“Cute isn’t the word I’d go for with this ‘lil number but okay. Let’s get going.”

Mingyu drinks more than he should and he knows it.

He takes any drink someone puts in his hands and downs it before trying to find more which usually leads to a lot of 2AM drunk phone calls and quickies in the backseat of your car.

This time, however, you’re just as bad as he is; taking any drink available as you try to drown out the way you feel when you see Mingyu chatting up someone else across Jeonghan’s living room.

To be fair, you weren’t exclusive anyway.

But his eyes dance over to you, a cocky smirk on his face when he sees the effect he has on you. He knew how you felt too, even if you never said a word about it.

Mingyu didn’t want to ruin what the two of you had, even if he benefited from it more than you did. And the two of you were friends, albeit you weren’t sure for how much longer.

He leaves the other girl as he makes his way over to you, eyes unfocused when he presses you into the wall you’d been standing in front of.

“Let’s go somewhere more private.”

“Ngh, M--Mingyu, fuck--fuck, harder!”

Mingyu keeps you bent over the sink, hips slamming into your ass as he fucks you from behind in Jeonghan’s upstairs bathroom.

The loud music drowns out your loud moans and his filthy words as you eagerly fuck yourself on his cock. “Fuck, this tiny little dress of yours doesn’t do a damn thing. Bet you wanted me to fuck you just like this, huh? Bent over a fuckin’ sink at a party.”

Neither of you had even made the effort to get undressed as you hiked your dress up and tugged your panties to the side, hands planted firmly onto the mirror in front of you as you watched yourself get drunk off of his cock.

“G-god, yes, yes! Fuck me h-harder, damn it!” You whine. Mingyu slaps your ass at this, low grunts spilling from his lips. “Your cute ‘lil cunt begging to be filled with my cock at every second of the fuckin’ day. “ He slurs.

He feels his cock throbbing as he erratically thrusts into you, only a low groan on his lips before he’s cumming.

“O-oh, shit…”

You feel his thrusts slow down as he cums inside of you, a soft mewl on your lips at the feeling. You clench around him, shaking your hips slightly to get his attention back on you.

A sharp knock scares you both as Mingyu pulls out of you; panties slipping back into place like they’d never been touched.

“Hey! People need to use the bathroom, assholes!” Someone yells from the opposite side.

“Fuck, we need to go.” Mingyu grumbles, readjusting himself and zipping his denim back up.

You very slowly lift yourself up from leaning on top of the sink, tugging your dress back down quietly.

Of course. Of, fucking, course.

Mingyu can sense the annoyance even without you saying anything, lopsided smile on his features. “Later, okay? Don’t be a brat.”

“Whatever.”

You head for the door, unlocking it before you step out first and leave Mingyu behind. Your body still buzzes with the urge to cum when you start heading down the hallway, panties sticking to you like a second skin with Mingyu’s cum pooling into the material. You turn a corner into an empty part of the upstairs hallways, sighing slightly as you lean up against a wall.

You hear your name being called as you turn your head, finding Wonwoo jogging up to you.

“Hey! I was looking for you!” He smiles, noting the way you seem to sadly smile back at him. “Something the matter?”

“Ugh, it’s Mingyu…” You start. Wonwoo tenses up, hands balling into fists at his side. “What did he do?”

“He’s so fucking selfish! I don’t know what’s up with him lately but he always leaves me hanging!”

Oh.

It’s quiet between the two of you as your words sink in and Wonwoo’s demeanor changes in the blink of an eye. He takes a step closer to you, fingertips under your chin to lift your head up as he meets your blown out pupils.

“I wouldn’t leave you hanging, y’know.”

You feel a wave of arousal wash over you at his deep voice; did Wonwoo always sound like that or was it the alcohol? “W-what?”

“I said, I wouldn’t leave you hanging. I’d put you before myself, if you’d let me.” He smirks at you, eyes twinkling with promise.

“Show me then.”

Wonwoo drags you into the nearest bedroom; excitement coursing through his veins.

In another universe, he would’ve been more romantic about this.

Dinner and candles, picnics at sunset. Ah, well.

“Well, it’s not much but it’ll do.” He says, locking the door behind himself before he turns to you. He takes in your mildly disheveled appearance, walking you backwards until the back of your legs hit the bed.

“You deserve better, y’know? Someone who’ll take care of you.”

“I know… But you promised you’d show me, didn’t you?” Pouting, you hike your dress up before you sit down on the edge of the bed. You spread your legs as you let Wonwoo see your panties that were practically transparent.

“Fuck, you let him cum inside your tight ‘lil pussy and he didn’t even let you cum?”

“How do you know I’m tight if you never fucked me before.” You retort, shooting him a smirk of your own. Maybe it was the alcohol in your system, but you felt more confident now than you’d been in a long while.

Wonwoo leans over you, easing you down until your back touches the sheets. “Only someone as pretty as you would have a tight ‘lil cunt and I’ll prove it.” He pulls away, undoing the button and zipper of his pants before he shimmies his boxer briefs down enough to pull his half hard cock out.

You lick your lips at the sight; he was slightly bigger than Mingyu. “Fuck, your cock is huge, Wonwoo…” He smirks at your compliment, tugging on your legs until your lower half hangs off of the side of the bed. He eases your wet panties down, pocketing them before he spreads your legs wide.

“I’m not typically one for sloppy seconds, but…” You blush at his comment. “...If it’s you, I don’t care.”

“Usually I wouldn’t have someone else’s cum already inside my fuckin’ pussy before I hook up with someone else...” You mumble.

Wonwoo guides his cock towards you, letting the shaft rest against your folds. He starts grinding against you, coating his cock in your wetness and Mingyu’s cum. His cock is already throbbing as he continues to tease you and himself, resisting the urge to fuck you hard and fast like he knew both of you needed. “S’okay, I’ll just have to cum inside you too and fuck it so deep into your fuckin’ cunt that you won’t even remember Mingyu ever did.” He grins.

“God, yes, make me cum too, I wanna cum with you…” Whining, you buck your hips up to meet his teasing touches.

“Don’t worry, baby, I’ll make sure you get my cock nice ‘n wet.” He positions his cock at your entrance, teasing you one more time as you whine and squirm underneath him. “Fuck, you’re so cute when you’re whiny.”

He slowly eases his cock in, meeting no resistance with how wet you already were and the cum already inside you. “God, you really are fuckin’ tight…” Wonwoo mumbles under his breath.

It takes you a second to adjust to Wonwoo’s size before he’s drawing his hips back and thrusting back into you and a mewl cuts through the air when the head of his cock taps against your cervix; eyes fluttering shut with how well Wonwoo filled you up.

“Oh, god, ngh, Wonwoo I--I don’t know if I--I can hold o-off…” A choked cry rolls off of your lips, fingertips digging into the sheets underneath you as you cant your hips up to meet his thrusts. You’d already gotten close to an orgasm before and now that Wonwoo’s cock was snug between your walls and curving into you perfectly, it was hard to hold back.

“That’s okay, baby. You can cum as many times as you want. Use me how you want me.” He offers; voice gentle and inviting as you wrap your legs around his waist.

“P--please, ah, touch my---my clit…”

Wonwoo obliges, pinching and rolling your clit between his fingertips. “O-oh, fuck!”

Your body locks up, Wonwoo’s name spilling from your lips as he throws you over the edge and into the first mind-melting orgasm you’d had in weeks. He smiles dreamily at you, hips still snapping into you as he fucks you through your high.

“So fuckin’ pretty when you’re cumming.”

You can only whimper in response, blushing when you can hear how much wetter you’d gotten after just one orgasm. He takes his fingers off of you clit, licking the wet digits.

Wonwoo looks down to where the two of you are connected, a soft groan on his lips when he sees how much of your wetness coats his cock. “You really did get my cock fuckin’ soaked, baby. Think you still have it in you to give me one more? I’m close too and, ah, I’d love for you to cum with me.” He shoots you a sweet smile and you feel your heart beat out of your chest.

You nod feverishly, “Mm--Mmhmm… I---I haven’t c-cum in a few weeks so… I--”

“A few weeks?”

You avert your eyes from his inquisitive stare, already knowing how he’s going to react. “Yeah, s’just Mingyu’s been so busy so… He’s been, hah, kinda’ leaving me h-hanging and---Ah!” Wonwoo thrusts into you hard, grinding against you once he was fully bottomed out.

“For weeks now? He’s been treating you like that?” It’d made sense now why he’d seen you in Mingyu’s bed alone that one time. “Y-yeah… but---but he’s just busy, y’know, ah, being a TA and a-all...”

He shakes his head in utter disbelief; selfish Mingyu, as always.

Wonwoo leans in until he’s face to face with you, kissing you on the lips gently before pulling away. He doesn’t say another word and instead works on getting you worked up to cum with him and even through the muffled music, he can hear your loud whines and whimpers and the sound of skin slapping as his thrusts become erratic.

He licks the pad of his thumb before he brings it back towards your sensitive and swollen clit. “Baby, ‘m close…” He whispers; only loud enough for you to catch.

“Ngh, fuh--fuck, Wonwoo, please cum i-inside me… I wanna feel your, ah, cock throbbing i-inside of me when you fill me up with y-your cum…” Wonwoo’s thumb presses harder against your clit and he opts to grind against you instead when he feels the tension in his abdomen start to snap. He moans your name shakily, brows furrowed and eyes clamped shut as he lets the pleasure wash over him.

You lick your lips watching his face contort in bliss and you bring your fingers down and over his thumb as you press down harder onto your clit and the action is enough to throw you over the edge again, head thrown back and a sharp whine on your lips as you cum for the second time.

Wonwoo slows down his thrusts as he starts to come down from his high and he works you through yours. “Shit, you really are so fuckin’ pretty.”

A blush coats your skin as your orgasm starts to ebb away and Wonwoo is careful to not hurt you once he starts to pull his cock from inside of you.

He watches the cum drip out of you, lips pursed into a tight smile. “Guess you should get these back, huh?” He fishes for the wet panties in his pocket; helping you slide them back on and up your legs before he pulls away and starts to smooth down his own disheveled appearance.

You laugh breathily, “I’ll let you have another pair next time.”

“Oh? There’ll be a next time?” He grins.

Biting your lip, you stand, readjusting your dress and grimacing at how gross you felt now that your panties were even wetter and covered in more cum.

“I---I mean, I still... I still have feelings for Mingyu but--but...” You pause; Wonwoo’s eyes on you. “I know I should end things with him, it’s just gonna take some time and I--I think you’re a really great guy, Wonwoo, and I’d like for there to be a next time... It’s just... I think I need some time to get over Mingyu first.” You mumble the last few words, a little embarrassed you even admitted you liked Mingyu.

“No, I---I get it. It’s no worries! Just---Just come find me when you’re ready.” He shoots you a beaming smile, “I’ll leave first, okay?”

You nod in response, smiling at his back when he turns to leave.

“Thank you, Wonwoo.”

You end up heading home, leaving Mingyu at Jeonghan’s party all-together.

He’d find his way home eventually; maybe even puke in the backseat of a taxi and get what he deserved.

You giggle at the thought, stepping into the lobby of your apartment building.

Huh, the lights are out.

You’re a little confused, but you make your way towards the elevators; stumbling slightly with the alcohol still in your system. Pressing the button, you wait patiently in the dark lobby -- only the moonlight providing a soft glow.

The elevator dings and you quickly enter it, pressing the button for your floor before resting against the banister.

Hey, is that a person?

Your eyes catch a glimpse of a figure not too far off and only half visible from around the corner, brows furrowed.

But you didn’t hear anyone enter the building.

The door closes and you shake the thoughts out of your head; it was probably just the alcohol making your eyes hazy.

Eventually you reach your floor, sighing in relief that the lights were still working. You stumble down the hall, dropping your house keys a few times before you can even make the turn to get to your hallway.

You reach your door, sliding the key into the keyhole and turning the lock.

God, it was so good to finally be home.

“Good Evening, this is Boo Seungkwan reporting live on Channel 17’s 4 o’ clock news. We’re live at the scene here, as you can see behind me, at the apartment complex were Mr. Kim Mingyu resided. The police and detectives are still going through Mr. Kim’s apartment in hopes of finding any clues. His whereabouts are still unknown as well as his female companion. If you have any tips or information of where they both are, please do not hesitate to contact the police or the TV station.” Seungkwan pauses, waving down a pedestrian. “Sir? I’m a reporter for Channel 17 news, can we please have a word with you? It’s about the missing university students.”

Wonwoo sadly smiles, nodding. “Of course.”

Seungkwan gestures for the cameraman to come closer, holding the microphone in between himself and Wonwoo. “Sir, did you happen to know the missing couple?”

“Ah… Kind of. They were attending the same university as myself. He was kind of a friend of mine, and I know he lived in the building across from myself but…” Wonwoo pauses, shaking his head. “I--I don’t know what happened. They seemed like such kind people. I’ve heard rumours that they just fled to another city, but… that’s it really.”

“Did they tell you that, themselves?” Wonwoo shakes his head no. “No, just rumours flying around campus. Everyone saw them at a party last weekend, myself included. That seems to have been the last time.”

“I see, so have the police interviewed you? Do they have any suspects?”

Wonwoo shakes his head again, smiling sadly. “The police just think they ran away, which, I guess isn’t too far fetched. We’re all stressed university students, after all.”

“You mentioned he’s a friend of yours. He didn’t bother to say anything? Do you think he kidnapped her?”

Wonwoo bites the inside of his cheek, worry clear on his features. “I mean, Mingyu was kind of aloof and he was very drunk at that party. I’m not sure if they got into an altercation. We never really hung out outside of campus so sadly, I can’t really say I know if it’d be in his character or not.”

“Thank you sir, for your time.”

Seungkwan lets Wonwoo leave, stepping away to finish the live report.

Wonwoo nods, turning to make his way back into his apartment.

He enters his place, toeing off his shoes before he heads towards his own bedroom.

By nature, he steps in front of his window; the same one that faced Mingyu’s now empty bedroom.

His lips ease into a small peaceful smile.

He would have to make a trip to the east end once all the news vans and patrol cars were gone.

He was sure you’d love the food he’d be making for your candle-lit dinner. It was one of his favorite recipes.

And he was sure Mingyu wouldn’t mind watching from his place in the corner, either.

#yandere!wonwoo #yandere!svt #wonwoo smut #seventeen smut #svt smut #yandere!seventeen #wonwoo scenarios #wonwoo imagines #seventeen imagines #seventeen scenarios #svt scenarios #monstermash!svt

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mywritingonlyfans · 3 years

Note

ok i spent 20 minutes trying to find my angst prompts christ

so a long while ago (think before iwbys mv dropped) i share some angst prompts of what i think each of the band members would be anxious about

we are picking up damiano cause i am writing about him in parallel to this

i had made the assumption of damiano always overworking himself to succeed. he sees overworking himself is the only way he will trully have any chances to produce great work

"i feel like damiano is more likely to stress work, like burning himself out cause he thinks thats when he does his best work." to quote myself lmao.

personally, when im overworked i tend to be mor aggravated and moody, snapping easily and feeling sad and shitty

so imagine as his s/o, you see damiano working on lyrics from home over the winter. he sits on the couch, scribbling furiously every few minutes in a notebook of some kind

the next morning, you wake up and damiano isnt in bed. and he wasnt there when you went to sleep last night

so you go to the living room and he is sitting in pretty much the same spot, coffee on the table and a cigarette burning in the ashtray

you ask him about and he says he did sleep but woke up early to work

you doubt it at first but then you decide to believe him.

the entire day, dami is just sitting on the same spot on the couch, he hasn't moved in a certain 7 hours and he still is scribbling in that lyric notebook.

after some persuation he eats something and drinks something other than energy drinks or coffee (water) but he goes back to work instantly after that.

you understand he has to work but you are still mad that he is working non stop, giving almost no attention to you

you go to bed earlier that day, and you wait for him to come to bed until around 2am, when you lost hope and slept.

the next morining he is still there, with the addition of too many cans of energy drinks and too many finished cigarettes.

he actually looks dead and you try and talk to him but he doenst even aknowledge you.

for the entire day you tried to get dami to eat something or drink some water or to go lay down but he just shakes his head and works on the lyrics.

at this point hes been working non-stop for 3 days consecutively and you are worried

by night he keeps sighing loudly and scribbling on the notebook, getting mad at himself, sometimes even softly hitting his head. you know its from frustration but you couldn't break him out of the mindset. you had talked to vic and she had told you about this 'state'

at some point while you are sitting inside the bedroom, on your phone, you hear damiano curse very loudly after something fell on the floor.

you thought it was just a glass, so you got up to clean up and you just see damiano sitting on the godforsaken couch, this time looking down at the floor where water was spilt and where some tissues lay

(tw blood and mention of intrusive thoughts) (i am self projecting yes shush)

when you go there there you see the tissues on the floor also had ink on them

it was weird and it was weirder there was so much ink you could see from the kitchen

you go there and damiano is covered in water and ink, and on top of it, his hands are bleeding.

that was a traumatising sight in and of itself but seeing him with tear stained eyes made it worse

you slowly help him up from the couch to the bathroom to help him wash off the ink and to see why his hands were bleeding

while you tried to clean the ink from his chest, he explained how he was so stressed cause he forgot a deadline with the band (it was the next day)

so he pulled 3 all nighters to hopefully get different drafts of some lyrics, and every day he was slower but he didn't allow himself to rest in any way cause his brain thought it would slow him.

as a coping mechanism he would scratch his hands a lot, hence why they were bleeding, especially where his tattoes are

he couldn't get work done since his in his mind "finish the song, meet the deadline, no matter what" played on repeat and he was really mad at himself and thought he just sucked at lyrics

he was so worried about not meeting the dealine and disappointing the others that he didnt allow himself to do anything but try and write lyrics, all because his stressed brain made him think the others would be really mad at him and hate him (yay anxiety)

he bit down on his pen too hard while he was thinking and broke it, and got his face covered in ink

he still didnt want to get up so he tried to take it off with tissues and water but he dropped the cup and the water.

he didnt want to bother you either cause he knew you would try to break his 'concentration' (anxiety fueled all nighters) and he wouldnt get anything done, plus he thought you were mad at him for ignoring you while he worked

this whole time you were washing the ink off you re-assured him constantly, both about himself and the band members forgiving him for the dealine, and also about his self worth as a lyric composer

then you help him out of the bath and to your bedroom, putting some cream on the irritated skin to help it somehow heal and you forced him to stay bedbound while you cleaned up

then you go lay with him and obligatory cuddles ensue

he falls alseep almost instantly and you just sit there petting his hair, still in disbelief cause you didn't know damiano got so stressed so bad

you made a mental note to always supervise him when he seemed stressed

it scared me a but but it looks good, i mean worryingly good... you're doing great babe!!!

#måneskin #maneskin talk

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vigilvntes · 3 years

Text

Bruises - Kylo Ren x Fem!Reader (Star Wars)

A/N: the way i had the opening of this in my drafts for ages and then at the big time of 2am i decided i wanted to rewrite the whole thing and get it published ;) i’m so much more motivated to write than usual when i should be doing uni work but oh well more kylo content for you guys <33 inbox is always open for requests while im actually writing so feel free to send and i hope you enjoy <33

Word count: 1900+

Warnings: mentions of minor injuries.

You walked out of the casino, wincing as the harsh evening winds hit your bare arms. The dress you wore did little to nothing to protect you from the weather, but the last thing you expected to be doing was leaving the venue in search of your date.

Canto Bight was never your favourite place. In your opinion, it was filled with sleazes, who only came to the city for three things: money, booze and sex. However, you were the daughter of a noble family and despite your wishes, your family often sent you along to the gatherings they were expected to attend, assuming that you would fit in with the crowd more than they would. They thought you’d enjoy the party, enjoy the alcohol, even the attention you often seemed to draw to yourself. How wrong they were.

However, there was always one saving grace to evenings like these: Commander Kylo Ren, of the First Order.

The two of you weren’t official, as much as you would like to be. You understood that he had work to do, with his grandfather leaving big boots to fill, he barely had time to sleep, let alone date. But for some strange reason, you were different. You caught his attention, and he made sure to make time for you, whether that meant attending parties and events with you, or simply going out of his way to visit you, if only for an hour.

Truthfully, you had spent many nights lying awake, tears in your eyes as you thought about your future, which you hoped would be with Kylo. Would he eventually ask you to be his girlfriend? Would he want to marry? To him, those questions would seem trivial, of no importance. He loved you, and would find ways to show you. But to you they meant a lot, and you were hoping for some kind of answers sometime soon.

You shook your head as you made your way over to the short wall which surrounded the casino, leaning on it, using your elbows to keep yourself propped up as your head rested in your hand. Your gaze flitted between the city and the body of water beyond, which seemed strangely calm despite the mean winds. For a moment, you forgot about the cold, forgot about why you had even come outside in the first place as you watched the waves slowly made their way towards the shore.

Your peace was soon interrupted.

A pair of hands snaked around your waist from behind and you let out a yelp, turning around quickly to face whoever had touched you, ready to defend yourself as much as you possibly could. Until you heard that familiar, smug chuckle come from behind a mask. You knew exactly who it was before you.

You rolled your eyes, “Way to make an entrance, Commander.” Despite your annoyance, you truly were happy to see him. Immediately you pulled him towards you and wrapped your arms around him, smiling into his chest as you felt him return the gesture.

Eventually, you pulled away and narrowed your eyes at the man. “Don’t think you’ve gotten away with it. I still have a bone to pick with you.”

Despite how hard he tried to hide it, you heard him sigh lightly underneath the mask and mumble a disgruntled, “Go on.”

“First of all you’re late.”

“(Y/N), I had bus-”

“I’m not finished.” If anyone else spoke to him that way, they would surely be punished. But not you. He allowed you to put him in his place, mainly because he couldn’t ever bring himself to snap at you, but also because he found you too cute when you were pissed off with him.

You took his silence as a go ahead to continue with your rant. “You’re late. Your clothes are ruined. Your helmet still has smoke coming from it. Do I need to continue? How did you even get here? Where have you been?”

“Like I said-”

“Take it off.” You demanded. You were sick of hearing the robotic voice coming from the mask already. You wanted to speak with Kylo, not Commander Ren.

An almost stunned silence washed over him and he replied to your demand with a quiet, “T-take it off?”

“The helmet, genius. Take it off.”

The two of you stared at each other for a moment, but eventually he reached his hands up and pulled the helmet from his head, revealing a mop of dark, curly hair, which had grown longer since the last time you saw one another, and just as you had expected, new cuts adorned his face, almost nicking the gauze of the scar he had attained during the destruction of Starkiller. But what really caught your attention was the black eye.

He simply stared at you, waiting patiently for you to react, prepared to accept anything you threw his way. But for a moment you said nothing, all you could do was sigh.

After a minute, you moved closer to him and reached up, your fingers tracing the scar on his cheek, offering him a small, sympathetic smile, “If I remember correctly, the invitation said black tie, not black eye, Ren.”

Kylo couldn’t help but smile at your comment, and you were glad to hear his deep voice, which you had missed so dearly, reply with, “I must have read it wrong.”

“You wanna tell me how Kylo Ren, Commander of the First Order, has ended up with a black eye?”

His smile dropped at your inquiry to know more about his injuries, and your smile followed suit as you realised exactly what had happened. “It was them, wasn’t it?” You asked.

“Who?”

“Don’t play dumb with me, Kylo. It was the Scavenger and her Resistance friends, wasn’t it?”

His silence said everything. He pushed his tongue into his cheek and looked away from you, almost embarrassed. And truthfully, it was quite embarrassing. He was Commander Ren. He was feared. Respected. Yet he couldn’t even manage to capture and kill a scavenger girl.

You turned away from him, moving your attention back to the sea, crossing your arms. He knew you were pissed and he’d have to talk his way out of this one somehow. His silence simply wasn’t enough.

“(Y/N). I’m sorry that I turned up so late.” You didn’t even move, let alone reply, so he continued. “And I’m sorry about the state of my attire.” No reply. “And.... I would also like to apologise for the state of my face.” He wasn’t usually one to apologise to anyone, but a genuine apology from him was the only way for him to bounce back from his fuck up’s.

You tried your hardest to keep your composure, but one of the most powerful men in the galaxy apologising for his face was enough to bring a smile to anyone’s lips. “I guess she got you good, huh?”

He came to your side after hearing your joking retort, “You could say that.” He found himself thinking this too often, but if anyone else had mocked him this way he most likely would have destroyed a wall or two. He knew you would never think of him as a failure, or an embarrassment, as many probably did. Your light-hearted jabs at him were mainly for your own comfort. To make light of any bad situation he often found himself in.

You sighed, leaning your head onto his shoulder. You hated how quickly you could melt back into him again, but you couldn’t waste any more precious time you had together being angry or upset, “I just worry about you,”

“I know. But you shouldn’t,” He mumbled. “I can be reckless. I throw myself into danger. But I also come back fine.” He knew to you those words would probably mean nothing, but he was trying his best to comfort you.

“You make it so hard not to worry. I mean, this war you’ve got going on... It’s so much bigger than you, or me, or the Scavenger girl. And truthfully, I’m scared. Terrified, actually. For you, for me. For my family. For everyone, really.” That was the first time you had ever admitted your fears to him. There was no way he’d give up his title, give up the First Order, but you hoped he’d provide you with a little reassurance that things would be okay.

His grip on you tightened, not so much that it would hurt you, but enough to know that he felt every word you spoke. “You know I wouldn’t ever let anything happen to you, or anyone you care about. I care about you too much to hurt you like that.” He stepped in front of you and knelt down, taking both of your hands. “As for everything else, I can’t make any promises. No one, not even the Supreme Leader knows what’s coming next. All I can ask is that you trust me enough to make the right choices.”

His words, for some reason you couldn’t quite decipher, felt like they held some hidden meaning. Like he was planning something drastic, or he knew something drastic would happen in the future. But you took these thoughts with a grain of salt, choosing not to press him any further, and instead choosing to trust him, as he asked of you. Squeezing his hand lightly, you offered him a small smile, “Of course I trust you. I’d trust you with my life. Just... Do what’s right. And if it doesn’t feel or seem right then... Don’t.”

He nodded and stood up slowly, “Of course.” After a few moments of peaceful silence shared between the two of you, as you processed each other’s words, he broke it. “You’re going to have my head the next time I see you, I know, but I have to go.”

Your eyebrows furrowed, “You have to go? As in you’re not staying?”

“I can’t tell you how sorry I am, and I know I said I’d join you for the night but given how today went, I’m not even supposed to be here.”

“Oh, and where exactly are you supposed to be?” You knew the answer already, and you knew he’d probably be in some deep trouble, you just wanted him to say it himself.

Once again, he pushed his tongue into his cheek before replying with, “The Supremacy.”

Bingo, you thought to yourself. The Supremacy. The Supreme Leader’s ship. And Kylo chose to go out of his way to see you first, prioritising you over his master. You couldn’t help but feel flattered, even though your plans for the night had been ruined. You gave him a small smile, “I suppose because you came to me first, and because I’m almost certain the Supreme Leader is gonna give you a harder time than I ever could, I’ll let this one go,”

“I appreciate that.” He leant down and pressed his lips to yours gently, and when he pulled away, he left another on your forehead. “I’ll see you soon, I promise.”

As you watched him walk away, towards the steps, you wished you could go with him. Be by his side, be able to see him everyday. Even though you knew that wasn’t exactly possible at the moment, you couldn’t help but ask. Before you could stop yourself, you had called his name, and he, already a few metres away, had turned to look back at you.

He knew what you were going to ask, and this time his answer was more hopeful than it had been before. He couldn’t tell you what was to come, but he hoped it would work for the both of you.

“Kylo I-.... One day, will you take me with you?”

He nodded his head slowly, and spoke only one word, “Soon.”

#kylo ren #kylo ren x reader #kylo ren fic #kylo ren fanfiction #kylo x you #kylo x reader #ben solo #kylo ren imagines #kylo ren imagine #kylo imagine #star wars imagine #star wars #the last jedi #the force awakens #rise of skywalker #star wars x reader #kylo

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surgeonsoath · 3 years

Text

— ♡ AFTERNOON!! I need to start getting ready for work as I picked up another shift yesterday before everything happened but I want to be known as the reliable one and that I can prove that I have grown since when I first started the company. So despite everything that happened last night and the pain I feel in my feet, I am heading into work at 5pm. Admittedly that is 4 hours away, but I didn’t shower when I got home yesterday as it was like 2am and I like looking nice for work because then I feel confident when I actually go into work.

I’ve found that doing drafts on my phone does not post them straight away so in my down time before work and on my break and when I’m waiting for my bus home, I will try do some drafts and then I’ll put them in my queue or post them when I’m home. That way I shouldn’t get too far behind.

I hope you are all having a great day. Thank you for being so patient.

#( No The Problem Is Tequila ) OOC

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a-happy-little-cactus · 4 years

Text

Midnight Cuddles

Summary: You can’t sleep, so you go to your friend Bakugou for help, though it’s a bit more than what you were expecting.

Word Count: 1,571

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: None

A/N: Hey ya’ll! I haven’t posted in a really, really, really long time, but here ya go! Let me know what you think! (Also, I’ve been meaning to write this for a very long time, but never got around to it. Super happy I finally did!)

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As much as you loved it here at UA, it had officially screwed you up.

Within a few days, you have somehow managed to go from great eating habits and sleep schedule to living off Bang, Monster energy drinks, and black coffee while getting somewhere around 2 and a half hours of sleep.

With midterms starting in a few days, for both normal and hero classes, your sense of self-preservation seemed to have taken a nice long vacation. Between studying and training, self-care was pretty much one of the last things you were worried about at this point.

As of now, you were looking aimlessly between your computer and your notes, debating how many questions you could miss on this test without absolutely failing. Hearing a sudden knock at your door jolted you back to reality, though it took you a minute to register what was going on.

“(Y/N)! I know you’re still awake in there! Let me in for a minute!”

Usually it wasn’t weird for your best friend Mina to want to have random midnight talks, so this wasn’t too out of the ordinary. Pushing yourself out of your chair and taking a swig of your coffee, you walked to the door, careful not to run into anything on your way over, since you had forgotten to turn on the light even after the sun went down.

“Hey Mina,” you said tiredly.

“Hey girl, I-” Mina paused, glancing behind you at your room, which was currently being illuminated solely by your computer screen, as well as the mess that was currently occupying your desk.

“Uh, is everything okay?” she asked.

“Hm? Oh, yeah it’s all-” you stop, having to yawn, before plopping yourself down on the bed- “It’s all good. Just a bit of studying.”

“Okay, girl, what cup number is that?” Mina asked, gesturing to the coffee cup sitting amongst the many other empty cans.

“Honestly, I’ve stopped counting,” you replied, laughing tiredly.

Mina rolled her eyes, walking over and grabbing the cup of coffee, despite your objections, “Look, you’re going to sleep. This can wait until tomorrow. Besides, Aizawa’s not gonna be too happy if you pass out in the middle of his class.”

“Ughh fine, I’ll go to bed,” you said, accepting that that was probably the most you were going to be able to cram for tonight.

“Good. Well, good night (y/n)!” Mina half shouted from down the hall, in somewhat of an attempt to not wake up everyone else.

“Night!” you yelled back, forcing yourself up from off the bed to get ready to go to sleep.

~time skip~

Despite being unbelievably tired, it had been about 30 minutes since you had finished getting ready for tomorrow morning and laid down, yet you had been completely unable to fall asleep.

‘Stupid caffeinated drinks’

You cursed yourself internally for drinking so much coffee. Frustrated, you thought about your options:

You could sneak out downstairs to the common area, but if Aizawa-Sensei happened to be down there, you’d definitely be in trouble.

You could try to cram some more, but you had a feeling if you looked at your Chem. notes one more time you would actually die.

Lastly, you contemplated doing something completely and utterly stupid and irrational: Asking to crash in one of your classmates’ rooms.

You didn’t know why, but for whatever reason, you found it a lot easier to fall asleep with others near by. Usually this wouldn’t be a problem, since none of the girls really ever minded having an unplanned sleepover. However, considering the fact that it was just over one in the morning, and class started in five hours, you guessed they were all probably asleep.

You thought about asking one of your guy friends, but Kiri slept like, well, a rock, and wouldn’t wake up without a blaring alarm. You would ask Kaminari, but he was probably still gaming, and it’s not too easy to fall asleep with him yelling at his console in the background. Sero would be a good choice, but he was at a family gathering, and wouldn’t be back until next week. Considering you didn’t really feel comfortable asking the other guys in your class, that left you with one other choice: Bakugou.

While yes, usually Katsuki did go to bed earlier than everyone else, like you, midterms had screwed that up. Even though he was still doing well in class, you had actually bumped into him during a 2am snack run a few days ago, so you guessed it wasn’t too far off to say there’s a chance he might still be awake. Even if he did end up telling you to screw off, it was at least worth trying.

Walking through the boy’s dorm hall, you noticed that you were indeed correct, as even while passing his dorm you could hear Kaminari shouting. What intrigued you though, was seeing the light peeking out from the doorframe of Katsuki’s room.

Knocking, you called for him, “Katsuki, I know you’re at least awake, can you open up?”

After about a minute of silence, the door to his room swung open, and you had a rather irritated looking Bakugou staring you down, the draft flowing from his room making you shiver.

He was wearing a black hoodie with sweats, and had a pair of glasses on, which made you notice the pile of notes, costume redesigns, and other sheets of paper scattered across his desk.

“What do you want dumbass, it’s late, and I’m busy,” he said.

“Uh- Oh right! Um, so, I was uh-” you stuttered out, trying to figure out how to word your sentence, which was proving difficult with the combination of his glare and your tiredness.

“Get to the point extra-” he warned.

“Look, can I sleep in your room tonight?” you asked.

His eyes widened, before regaining his irritated composure.

“How come? You got a room, don’t you?”

“Well, I can’t sleep,” you admitted, though that part was obvious.

“And what makes you think sleeping in my room is gonna change that?” he asked.

You looked away, before answering in a quieter voice, “It’s just, well, it’s just easier for me to sleep when other people are around.”

“Can’t you ask one of your other friends?”

“No, they’re all sleeping, and I don’t want to wake them up,” you replied.

After a moment, he sighed, before opening the door all the way and stepping aside to let you in.

“Fine. But you owe me,” he said.

To that, you lit up, nearly knocking him over with a hug, “Oh my gosh thank you so much! And yeah, that’s fair.”

Katsuki froze, before pushing away from you, averting your gaze.

“Whatever, just don’t bother me,” he said.

“Okay, that’s fine. Do you have any extra pillow’s I can borrow? I’d sleep directly on the ground, but it is hardwood, so I don’t think my skull would particularly like that,” you asked, taking in the rest of his room, which was really just a bed, dresser, and some more miscellaneous papers scattered across the room.

“Why the hell would I have extras, I’m not Mina. And don’t sleep on the floor dumbass, you’re going to wake up with bad back and neck pain, and you’re not going to be able to be at your best for when I beat your ass tomorrow,” he said.

Realizing what he had said, you felt the heat rise to your cheeks.

‘Just use his bed? But then, is he meaning he wants us to share?’

The more you thought about it, the more you blushed, so you put the thought away, and made your way into the bed. Thankfully, he only had his desk light on, so you faced the wall to deciding you should be able to sleep just fine like this.

“Oi, scoot over. You’re hogging the bed,” you hear after a few minutes.

‘Wait, what?’

You turned around to face him, confused, but he only gestured for you to move.

Blushing slightly, and glad he had turned the light off, you comply, giving him room to slip into the bed.

“Um, I uh, I thought you were working?” you ask, glad that the two of you were currently facing opposite directions, though it didn’t really help with your nerves.

“I was working. But it’s two in the morning, and I guess your dumbass reminded me to go to bed,” he said, chuckling lightly at the end.

“Oh.”

After a few minutes of silence between the two of you, you felt the draft of his room again, even with the covers. You had known he kept his room cold, but this was just stupidly cold.

“Hey Katsuki?” you called weakly, in case he had already fallen asleep.

“Hm,”

“It’s really cold, do you have any extra blankets, or could you like, change the AC settings?” you ask.

After a moment, you felt him shifting behind you, before feeling him put his arm around you, his body pressed against yours, and sending warmth back towards you.

You couldn’t do anything other than sit there, a blushing mess, and yet again unbelievably grateful that he couldn’t see your face.

“Better?” he asked.

“I-um, uh, yeah,” you stutter out, covering your face with one of your hands, making him laugh.

“Good,” he said, sounding a bit proud of himself for his job well done.

That night, despite everything, you two slept better than you had in a very long time.

#bnha x reader #bakugou x reader #bakugou fluff #bnha #katsuki bakugou #mina ashido #bnha imagines #bnha fluff

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narcissasdaffodil · 3 years

Note

48 for drabbles, Marisol x MC <3

48: I called you at 2am because I need you

So I lost the prompt list but I’m going to take these from another one, hopefully that’s fine x Also, I hit 200k fic wise, so I’m posting a little something extra from my drafts x

Alecto had decided to visit Abby for 2 weeks in Los Angeles. She had decided to go on a whim after winning Love Island with Marisol earlier in the summer, but it being so incredibly last minute meant she had to leave Marisol behind in the UK.

Abby was still the same as ever, just as obsessed with rare bookshops, coffee and trying out new things. They hadn’t seen each other for years, but appeared to catch up in no time. Abby was writing music and pursuing her dreams, uni was definitely the wrong choice for her all those years ago.

Abby had managed to secure tickets for the Dodie concert, and they were just returning back to the apartment, arms laden with food and drinks. Both of them were high off adrenaline and happiness, their throats were sore from singing at the top of their lungs. Surprisingly, there was an actual queue for takeout food, and they had got delayed. Alecto always left her phone on silent, and had no real need for it throughout the night, apart from taking photos with Abby and experimenting at taking more types of photos. Photography was a passion for her, and she had gained some great shots. She would never do it for a career, her dream was to be a doctor so she followed her destiny there.

She rested her box of food, and her tiny bag on the side table, leaving her phone face up next to it, sitting cross legged on the couch and starting to tuck into her burger. Abby sat next to her, both of them focused on their food. The apartment was silent as they ate, both of them ravenous after the concert. Long hair started to slide out of the clip, making its way down Alecto’s shoulders.

Abby finished her food first, despite starting later, and removed the large hair clip from Alecto’s hair, pushing it out of her way and putting the clip safely on the side table. She heard a loud beep, and retrieved her phone from the table, her eyes drawn to the light coming from Alecto’s phone as she grabbed her own phone.

“Looks like someone keeps trying to reach you there, might be a good idea to check it.” She said, curling up and resting her phone on her knees, checking it.

Alecto nodded, giving her a thumbs up. Her mouth was full with burger, and she was always a very neat eater. She finished her mouthful and set down the empty box, retrieving her phone. She checks the time, noticing it was 2am. Her phone lit up again, and started to ring, Marisol’s name and picture on the display. Wait. Why has she texted you so many times? You do hope she’s okay.

Alecto pressed answer, putting her phone on speaker and turning the volume up.

“Hello?” Marisol sounded unsure, and her voice kept wobbling.

“Hello, are you okay? It’s 2am, but it’s fine.”

“I’m sorry... Forgot about the time difference, it’s 10am here. I haven’t been able to sleep at all, it’s been worrying me. But I don’t want to keep you up.” Marisol’s voice breaks slightly, not as sure of herself as she usually was.

“We came back from a concert not too long ago, we’ve only just had time to have food. That doesn’t matter though, if you need to talk it’s completely fine.” Alecto’s voice was soft and soothing, the sugar and energy from the concert forgotten. She hoped she could do the thing that Marisol did for her: being able to soothe her with just simple words and a warm hand.

“I’ve just been stressed about starting my second year of uni. It’s still a bit off yet, but I’m still nervous. And I struggle to sleep usually, but it’s different with you there, I can actually sleep properly. I kept waking up throughout the night, until I just gave up. I forgot what it was like to struggle to sleep, even though we haven’t been together for long at all. Sadie has been helping though, she loves me quite a lot currently. It’s surprising how much I miss you, and feels so silly.” Her voice sounded watery and kept shaking, getting considerably quieter. Alecto had to strain her ears slightly to hear, and turned up the volume on her phone.

“Do you want to have regular phone calls before you go to bed until I’m back? Will that maybe help a bit with the sleep issues? Also it isn’t silly! The same happened to me, when Abby first moved, and when I first went to uni. My sleeping pattern went out of the window a bit. When you care about someone and love them, it’s understandable to miss them if they’re not there with you constantly. I’m glad Sadie is a good stand in for me though, it’s a miracle she loves you as much as me! That’s so rare, you must be a cat whisperer or something.” Alecto heard a teary and snotty laugh on the other end, and grinned.

“If it’s not too much of a bother, that would be lovely. It’s surprising that I’m actually upset hearing your voice on the phone. I never got homesick when I first left home in the slightest, I was so independent from my family in general that I didn’t really miss them when I left. But you...it’s different. You care about me so much, you’re my safe space, my home. Sadie has been amazing company though, having her has helped a little. I’m not sure if part of my issue here is that...I don’t really have many friends in uni, or in general. I’ve never felt overly lonely, but for some reason, now I do.”

“Not actually surprising. When I first heard my dad’s voice on the phone, I did get pretty upset. Aww, the fact you feel that way about me does warm my heart. I guess if you’ve always been an outcast, it’s hard to deal with other people being different and actually having friends. I was the same when I first got closer to Abby, having two very toxic friends landed me with a shed load of issues and took a lot of courage to let them go. So finally having a healthy friendship and healthy family relationships was strange. But once you find your own friends, you’ll be okay. I understand that scares you, and you prefer to cut yourself off instead and stay at a distance, using the analysis thing as a defence mechanism but I hope that you’ll stop relying on it so heavily with me by your side. You’re not alone either, you still have Hope and Bobby, and both are long distance friendships but still equally as valuable.” Abby prodded her in the arm, trying to hint that she wanted to speak.

“Abby wants to speak to you, let me know if that’s okay.”

“That’s definitely fine.”

“Cool, handing you over now.” Alecto handed her phone to Abby.

“Hi. You clearly mean a lot to Alecto and you’re super special to her, so as her best friend, I’d like to talk to you more and get to know you better. Most of the people she’s dated previously I haven’t been too keen on, but you’re different. I know it might be a little weird, as I did date her before, but we’re still friends and all, and I’d love to extend that to you.”

“Really? I don’t have an issue with you two being friends in the slightest, from what I know, you two were friends first then started dating, so it wasn’t great that people expected you to give that up. Exes can be friends, there’s nothing against it! I’ve never done that myself, but ended up having a lot of messy breakups, even dated my best friend in secondary school and that completely broke the friendship. Olivia did break my heart, so the fact that I could open my heart up enough for Alecto is a big deal. I’m rambling now, but if you’re fine with it, cool.” Marisol was speaking pretty quickly, causing Abby to grin.

“Yup. I definitely mean that, the fact you don’t see me as threatening means a lot. Some people who Alecto’s dated, like only once or twice, had such an issue with it, that it did both of our heads in. I mean, I have a girlfriend now, so I’m not going to ruin anything, like people assumed. I do understand though, and I like you because of the way you and Alecto operate. So that’s all, I just wanted to let you know. I’ll hand you back to Alecto then.” Abby grinned, her voice warm.

“Okay, thank you! It does mean a lot.”

Abby grinned, moving to sort the boxes of food out and sort the mess in her apartment.

“Back to me again. Does that help? You do seem considerably happier, which is reassuring.”

“Yes, I am. It’s sweet of Abby to care about me, so that helps. I’ve never talked about Olivia to anyone apart from you before. So that’s a big deal. But I should probably let you go to bed soon, it’s really late in LA, I know.” Marisol’s voice was still watery, but she had gained enough stability to reassure Alecto a bit.

“Goodnight then. Call you tomorrow, well later today! Let’s organise a time via text or something.”

“Goodnight. See you.” When Marisol hung up, her voice sounded warmer already.

Alecto yawned, getting to her feet. She made her way to Abby’s guest bedroom, getting ready for bed. Once in bed, she dropped off quickly.

#litg #love island the game #litg marisol #marisol x mc #litgs2 #litg fanfic #bubblelaureno

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hopelessromanticvirgo · 4 years

Note

Hiii. I just wanna that THAT LAST CHAPTER WAS AMAZINGGGGGG. I hope you accept constructive criticism: you need to review your grammar. There are some small mistakes, but honestly that doesn't really matter, because THEY FINALLY KISSED!!!!! YESSSS. Also wanna say I appreciate how much work you put into your fic. Thank you so much for that ❤ Have a good night (its 3 am where I live 😂)!!!

Yes I know! I usually reread my chapters like thousands of times to check every typo or grammar mistake and even after that, some things will still go without my notice. But I have been writing that the whole day and I didn't have any power left to reread it one more time again. I started at like 1 pm and finished at 2am. (I actually got them ready for posting one by one. I'd finish one "part" aka one date, edit it and already put them on the post in my drafts, so that way I would make it and finish it faster.) So, I'm very sorry about that little mistakes. But thank you!

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rumours-spiral · 4 years

Text

help is other people- catherine & anne.

any feedback is obviously appreciated! this is the longest thing i’ve ever written & i’m proud that i could actually finish a draft for once. i don’t know if catherine’s song was based off of janet jackson but this is a fanfic & i can do what i want so

(also yes i took the title from a good place episode but it was rly cute :( )

summary: catherine and anne aren’t good at asking for help. but they can notice.

word count: 2,744

warnings: panic attacks

---------------------------------------------------x---------------------------------------------------

Catherine often pretended she was emotionless.

She had emotions. She did.

She wasn’t the most emotional, mind- there was a reason why she had practically never cried in front of the others, why her song was a powerful, Janet Jackson (who she would later be informed was a ‘bad bitch’. Even though she didn’t care for the language, she appreciated it all the same) inspired anthem. There was a reason why she was the one the queens went to when they needed logical advice. And that was who she was. It was who she had been in her past life- pious, reserved, kind, not one for foolery. And it was who she still was, and she liked it.

Most of the time.

Upholding this stone persona (although usually effortless) could become tiring. Pretending that she didn’t sometimes stay up at night wondering what was so wrong with her that Henry was forced to create an entirely new religion to cast her away was hard. Acting confident and sure of herself in the show while she sung what at the end of the day was a glamorised version of the torture that was their marriage was sometimes impossible. But she did it all the same. Because she was Catherine of Aragon. Because she had to, almost as much as she did 500 years ago. Her friends depended on her, as did the show, as did her reputation even now. She couldn’t take a day off because she hadn’t slept, and she most certainly couldn’t break down in front of anyone but God. Because that’s how it was.

To recap, Catherine very much had emotions. She just wasn’t allowed to show them.

So, when she woke up from a nightmare of Henry’s dangerous eyes and disgrace squeezing her chest, she allowed herself a second of whimpering, desperate sobs, before she clamped a hand over her mouth. A glance to her alarm clock told her it was two in the morning, and she knew she wouldn’t receive any more rest. She forced shaking breaths through the tears, reprimanding herself for being so loud as she made herself calm down. It was something she had become scarily good at doing.

She turned her phone’s torch on, knowing it childish to be afraid of the dark but apprehensive to be in it all the same. After swinging her legs onto the floor, she toed on her slippers, standing with her phone in hand and taking her robe off of a hook. She turned the light off once the door was opened, being greeted with the fluorescent light emitting from the bathroom that they always kept on. It lit the hallway enough that she could pick her way down the stairs, and then she was quite shocked to see the kitchen lights already on. She paused, frowning when she heard no noise, but continued her descent while wiping dried tears from her face.

After rounding a corner, she saw Anne sitting at the table, a glass of soda beside her and her hands gripping her phone. Catherine couldn’t decipher the emotion on her face. She cleared her throat softly, and Anne flinched.

“Oh! Sorry, Catherine, I didn’t see you there.” Anne said through a chuckle, but the smile on her face looked forced. Catherine gave her one of her own in an attempt to calm both of them down, but Anne seemed to have been thinking the same thing, as her smile had slipped of her face at the sight of Catherine’s effort.

“No, I’m sorry. I hadn’t meant to scare you,” Catherine upheld the niceties, not being quite ready yet to pretend that they were both in the kitchen at 2AM with red eyes. Anne frowned deeper, her mouth opening to ask,

“Are you okay?” Aragon felt the smile on her face crack the tiniest bit, but she kept it there anyway. She moved to put the kettle on, turning her back to Anne and giving herself a moment’s reprieve, before glancing over her shoulder. “Yes. I just woke up because of a notification from my phone.”

The only notifications she got were from the other queens, and no one would be up this late. Anne’s frown deepened impossibly, but she blessedly allowed this poor excuse, giving Catherine a knowing look instead. Aragon turned her face back to where she was pulling a mug out of the cupboard, taking a second in addition wordlessly when she thought back to Anne’s puffy eyes.

“Are you alright, Anne? Would you like to talk about it?” Catherine already knew it was a nightmare, of course. She read Anne like a book, and the simile almost made Anne snort. She gave a dismissive hum instead, thanking the other woman softly when she sat a cup of chamomile tea before her. Catherine sat down across from her, apparently having pulled a bible from nowhere, and Anne did snort at this. She looked up from where she was flicking through the pages and gave a sort of smile. Anne’s amusement faded quicker than it came on, and she felt tears begin to prick at her eyes. She hadn’t brought herself to read a bible since she came back- it reminded her too much of her final days in the Tower, praying to a God that hadn’t deigned to bring her any peace. Of her last words, begging for his kind mercy.

“I pray for you,” Catherine said quietly, a sadness in her voice as she regarded the other’s tears. “I pray that you find true happiness. That you’re no longer haunted by a life long passed. That the Lord will bring upon you some type of reward for your suffering.” Boleyn sniffled, staring down at the table now. Her last words had also been her pleading with anyone that would listen to pray for her.

“I think of you as I read this book, and I hope you find the peace it brings me one day, in whatever form it may come in.”

Her tears dripped freely.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered at the small puddle of tears collecting on the cold surface.

“For what?”

“For ruining your life.”

Catherine sighed softly, placing her book on the table and reaching a hand out to hold Anne’s.

“You’re apologising for a life 500 years old. For actions that you have already apologised for, and that have already been forgiven,” she squeezed the pale hand in her grip, and it squeezed back.

“We’ve been granted a second chance. I would much rather spend it your friend and listen to your jokes and your songs than spend it your enemy, constantly grieving the friendship we had before it was eroded by jealousy and crowns.”

Anne was crying in full now, raising a hand to cover as much of her face as she could while gripping Aragon’s with the other.

“Don’t cover your face, bella- you have a right to be in pain.” With a warm hand, Catherine took hold of the wet one, connecting them and bringing them both down to rest on the table. She squeezed her hands again before letting go of one, standing quietly.

“Come.” Was all she said, and Anne felt more than obliged to follow. Catherine held the book under her folded arm, and held her tea with her free hand. She led them both to a single armchair, setting the objects down on the table next to it and pulling Anne down to sit half on top of her, half on the armrest. Anne hadn’t the heart to comment on this, quite preferring to settle into the warm, sturdy body beneath her, still crying softly despite her will. Their hands were disconnected and Catherine instead brought one to wrap around Boleyn’s shoulders and play with a long section of hair that had fallen out of the sleep-mussed bun. With the other she wiped the tears as she shushed Anne softly.

Once Anne had calmed, she breathed heavily, and asked (almost tentatively, a shocking adjective for her), “read to me?”

A small smile graced Catherine’s face, and she pulled the Bible towards them.

—

She noticed Anne’s quiet sounds of sleep about twenty minutes into reading aloud. She stopped talking, listening to her instead.

Catherine didn’t sleep for the rest of that night. She either read her Bible or pulled Anne closer to her. The brunette didn’t wake, even when the other queens had begun to come downstairs.

Jane came first, bustling about in the kitchen for a few moments before padding into the living room and pausing at the sight on the armchair in surprise. She smiled widely after a moment, and she whispered “Can I get you anything?” as she set a tray holding her breakfast on the couch. Catherine gave a gentle shake of her head, humming in thanks as she did. Jane (ever the mother) picked up a blanket she had knitted herself, and threw it over the pair wordlessly. Aragon just smiled in amusement as she enjoyed the serenity that apparently came with a warm, sleeping Anne Boleyn curled into top of her.

——————

By the time 7pm came around, Catherine was exhausted. She had barely dragged herself through the first show of the day, running on only a few hours sleep and her emotional state shaky at best. Anne noticed.

She came over to the sitting queen, speaking in a low voice even though no one else was in the dressing room. They looked at each other in the mirror.

“I’m not gonna ask if you’re okay,” the brunette began, and Catherine found herself grateful that she was being spared from the stiff politeness she herself had forced upon the two last night. “But I do want you to know that we have alternatives for a reason, and that I’m here if you need anything.” To the surprise of them both, she placed a gentle kiss on the crown of her head. Neither commented, and Anne returned to her seat just as Anna came into the room.

Catherine mulled the words over as she put finishing touches on her makeup. Anne was right, of course. To any other queen in this state, Catherine would have told them very plainly to take the night off- there was still time for an alternative to get in costume. But then she thought back to her reputation.

Her breathing quickened slightly and her chest began to squeeze at the sudden weight upon her shoulders, but she fought it back with deep breaths and listening in to the stupid conversation currently happening between Boleyn and Cleves. Not now. This wasn’t the time. She finished her makeup, and forced herself out of her chair upon the five minute warning.

Obviously, performing when feeling on the edge of passing out from a frankly concerning mixture of physical and emotional exhaustion isn’t a good idea. Catherine knew it. But she did it anyway, missing a few marks by just a second and hearing her voice waver too much while she sang “please tell me what you think I’ve done wrong”. Too many mistakes. Far too many. Anne noticed, of course. For someone with such a tempestuous attention span, she noticed everything. So anytime that she could, in any song that she could, she edged herself close to Catherine, giving her encouraging looks or smiles or pats, and it was about the only thing keeping back the tears.

Catherine was off the stage the second they had said their farewells to the audience, and she struggled to keep herself from running to the dressing room. She held herself well as she walked past the technicians, trying to smile convincingly as they gave her their congratulations. She wasn’t sure how well it worked. Anne followed closely behind and she stopped only to mutter a quick request to their dressing-roommate. She slipped into the room after Catherine, immediately shutting and locking the door. The other queen was well into hyperventilating, her previous efforts in stifling the panic only making this one come on all the more powerfully. She began tugging at the collar of her costume, whimpering as the heavy necklaces seemed to crush her throat. She supposed it was only just punishment for how badly she had failed the other queens.

Anne moved to her in a few short strides. “Can I touch you?” She asked firmly, squashing the tears threatening to well in her eyes at seeing Catherine like this. The woman in question gave a jerky nod, and Anne placed her hands on her shoulders, wanting to touch but not overwhelm her.

“Can I take your costume off?” Was her next question, and she wasted no time in undoing the clasps and zips at the confirmation she received. Catherine was still only heaving in gasping gulps of air and was trembling under her, and Anne sped up her movements when she heard sobs. She helped Catherine shrug the heavy material off, and she was left in an undershirt and her costume’s shorts.

“I’m s-sorry,” Catherine sobbed, and Anne just shushed her gently, pulling them both to the floor. Catherine slumped against the door, and Anne knelt before her. She stroked stray curls away from the wetness on her cheeks and her heart contorted painfully at the twist in Aragon’s face. Her fingers pulled pins from her hair before ultimately pulling the spiked headband off. “No, don’t think about that now.” She said softly, and she moved back slightly to take the gold studded heels off.

“No, I-I messed up so much and I-“ Anne only got one shoe loosened, but she moved back up to Catherine’s face and cupped her cheeks with both hands. “No,” she repeated firmly, “you did nothing wrong.” Catherine only whimpered, and her face met Anne’s shoulder when she brought the two together in a trembling embrace. She stroked her back, her arms, her hair, anything she could touch, as if it would calm her. But she was still crying and not breathing properly, and she shook so hard that the tremors moved Anne as well.

“Hurts,” Catherine whimpered softly again. She supposed she mainly meant the painful fist in her chest that was choking her heart, but she really could’ve meant anything. Anne hummed.

“I know. You’re okay.” Was Anne’s reply. She moved them so that she sat with her back against the door, her legs encasing the other, and she pulled Catherine into her. Catherine obliged, burying her head back into her neck. Anne allowed her a time of just crying, but the fact that the attack was lasting for so long was starting to worry her, and she needed to get her breathing normally. She rubbed her back again for a time and closed her eyes against the pain she felt hearing Aragon’s stifled sobs against her. She gave them both a minute, before tapping Catherine and moving them away from each other the tiniest bit.

“Can you try breathing for me?” Her hands how held her shoulders, and she made herself give a reassuring smile at Catherine’s indecisive and panicky pause. “Just try? It’s alright,” she whispered, and she led one of the other queen’s hands to her own ribs so that she could feel her deep breaths, leaving both hands there. “Just breathe with me.” Catherine only looked up at her with wide, wet eyes. Anne was reminded starkly of a lost child. She gave another smile, and breathed steadily.

Catherine replicated for a few breaths, before she grew tired of the shakiness of them, and whimpered softly in frustration while squeezing her eyes closed. Anne brought their foreheads together with her free hand. “It doesn’t have to be perfect. Just follow me.” She spoke softer than she perhaps ever had, and it was enough, as she felt Catherine’s regular exhales puff against her lips. They were shaky and of a smaller size than Anne would like, but she was breathing, and tears of relief welled in her eyes. “There we go!” she whispered with a smile when brown eyes opened to meet her own, and she thought it was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. Aragon’s head fell back on Anne’s shoulder after a few more minutes of breathing together, and Anne hugged her.

“You did so well,” she muttered into the curls next to her face, and she hugged the woman tighter at the hitch she heard in her breath after the comment.

#six the musical #six the musical fanfic #fanfiction #fanfic #anne boleyn #catherine of aragon #anne x catherine #panic attack #hurt/comfort #aralyn

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trenchcoatkitten · 4 years

Note

So I’ve been reading Temperature of the Heart, and you’ve mentioned how you have the whole thing written already. Can you describe what that’s like? What’s your writing process? How long does it take for you to write everything start to finish? Do you plan it all out or just kind of wing it? How long do you sit in an idea before you start?? Sorry about all the questions, I’m just so curious >_

bro!!! are you sure i will scream about writing for days omg

first of all THANK YOU its so freaking cool that you came to ask your questions and that you like my writing, im still sort of getting used to my writing not just being garbage that i read in the dark at 2am and never share with anybody, and i am always excited to answer questions waaaah

(THIS IS GOING TO BE LONG I APOLOGIZE IM PUTTING A READING BREAK IN CAUSE I WENT OFF BRO, IM THE WOOOOORST)

my process is pretty weird, it’s kind of all over the place? I’m kind of a halfway planner halfway pantser. I have an idea and usually make some disjointed notes about character and the main idea, in my phone or maybe on a google doc, and then a pinterest board maybe? Something to get excited about, a visualization. I ALWAYS tell myself im going to make an outline first and then i ALWAYS just jump right into writing because I’m too excited/impatient to wait. give me words on a page. give me dialogue.

Usually when I’m a little bit into the project, when i know that I’m not going to abandon it to the depths off where my WIPs go to die (rip like literally over 300 individual and unique works, this is NOT an exaggeration, you should see my document bank its gross) Ill say “ok fuck you sami its time to actually know where you’re going” and I’ll sit down and make the grossest outline you have EVER seen. like im talking, my outlines are littered with memes, me yelling at myself, actual stuff thats going to end up in the final project, and just general random garbage? its so gross. Ive literally only showed one of my outlines to one person ever (hi akira!) bc im super self conscious of them and hate the way that i write them. making an outline usually sucks up an entire day of writing. they’re pages and pages because some parts will be INCREDIBLY specific and other parts will be so vague you dont even know

From there, when im done with my garbage outline, (after going back through what I’ve written and fixing the shit that was just me going off like a psycho) I usually start writing in earnest. I’ll highlight the parts of the outline that I’ve done and I’ll go back and check it often to make sure im following through on my plans and the character arcs and such, making sure that everything ties in and such. This section is me like. every day getting home from work or whatever and sitting down at the computer and not moving until 2am, this is the section where i forget to eat and I dont sleep enough and i forget to drink water or take my vitamins and I do word sprints with myself and have days where I write 10 thousand words in one sitting. (very not healthy and also terrible i do NOT recommend) this is the section where I’ll handwrite anything i can in the back of classes and at rehearsals because im pouring out words.

during this section I go back and edit ENDLESSLY. i cannot write something and just let it be. I go back to the section I wrote the night before, I go back to the section I just wrote, i go back to the very beginning. I generally dont have to do 1st 2nd 3rd draft this way, but it is much more time consuming as Im just writing. i dont know if i reccommend this its a MESS

THeN once i finish writing the whole thing, i sit down and reread/edit the whole thing once through. this makes sure i have good flow, the paragraphs go together well, the prose feels right to me, timelines make sense. during this time i make ENDLESS paper notes with calendars, section notes, additions, drabbles, thoughts about my own shit. i have notebooks full of just garbage. im not kidding. full notebooks.

Once I finish that read/edit through I’m usually happy. only once something is completely finished will I consider posting. I go back too much, I add shit, I can’t let go of shit, not until it’s done. While I’m posting - I go through the chapter I’m going to post with a fine tooth comb, try to catch any tiny little mistake, add words here and there, but never change anything large if I can help it. Then i format it on Ao3 (this is literal hell, fuck the HTML editor it wants me to die) and then post it. Deciding to post a chapter to actually hitting ‘post’ usually takes me 1-4 hours, depending on the length, the difficulty of formatting, and how many goddamn links i wanna put in the chapter notes cause im the worst~ (insert jean ralphio voice)

~~~

LISTEN im probably super extra but I’ve been writing since I was in sixth grade (thats twelve years! time is an enigma and i hate it!) and so I have a bit of practice, i have a bit of experience and while I’m not the best me that I can be, I KNOW myself, and this is just what works best for me.

As for timing - it depends on the length of the project and how motivated I am. It took me about a month to write Royal (~50k), just a little over a month to write All Might’s All Night Shop Stop (~75k), and just about two months to write Temperature of the Heart (~115k). I try to post every few days, because as a person I hate waiting and I don’t want to do that to my readers!

~~~

As for the ‘how long do i sit on an idea before writing it’ it really depends. Some things I will receive inspiration or a sliver of an idea and start writing it in the next ten minutes, even if I have to stop working on something I’m already working on, because that was Brain Has Decided. Sometimes I will consider an idea for like. months before actually doing it. I’ve had the idea for FBoW (the newest thing im working on oops? have i told anybody about this NO cause that will make it REAL) since before I started Royal, which was like. Last november. But I just couldnt quite do it for some reason, and it wasn’t pressing. My brain is super broken, and a lot of times I get sick over ideas. I can’t sleep or eat until I’ve written, and I will repeat phrases to myself until i can get them out of my head by writing them down. (Sometimes this is something nice or poetic - “The golden hour lights up the whole world, wiggling its fingers into every nook and cranny, lighting up two people lounging on a bench-swing, someone leaned onto porch stairs with a mug of tea, the space between those walking down a dirt road, a couple of dogs laid out on the deck.” and other times its literally “Ranch Fiddlesticks.” I’m not kidding. i have a note in my phone that says ranch fiddlesticks because I was actually going to Die if i didnt write it down.)

I do wish my brain didn’t do this - but I guess it makes some fun art, doesn’t it?

WOW OKAY THIS WAS SO LONG im so sorry jesus christ. SOrry i will ALWAYS go off about my process and what it’s like to write. Writing is so so important to me, I LOVE it with every tiny atom of my weak, alcohol-infused, overworked heart. Despite how scary it is sometimes I am very glad to be sharing my work with the world, seeing peoples’ reactions and hearing things about my words, hearing how this little picture in my mind has gone into yours.

okay jfc im done now im so sorry. thank you again and again and again, a thousand times over, for reading my work and enjoying the worlds that i enjoy building. It makes me feel like I’m worth it. It makes me feel like I’m doing something good.

ily :’)

#my writing #dont open this unless you're ready #its like 1.5k words long #I WENT OFF #i have so many feelings ok #i have so so so many feelings #thank you so much for sending me an ask #i love you nonny #sami answers

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metalbatandzenko · 4 years

Note

All of them. All the questions.

oof

1. Do You Sleep With Your Closet Doors Open Or Closed?

I have sliding doors on my closet so it’s one open one closed.

2. Do You Have Freckles?

Nope!

3. Can You Whistle?

Nope (:

4. Last Song You Listened To.

I...don’t remember lmao, I think it was 6 Inch by Beyonce

5. What Is Your Favorite Color?

I don’t know if I have one tbh.

6. Relationship Status.

Currently juggling seven reply guys bc rona has everyone acting out of line, but single.

7. What Is The Temperature Right Now?

46º

8. Did You Wake Up Cranky?

Yes sdkjfhdlkf

9. How Many Followers?

215.

10. Zodiac Sign.

Aries/Aries/Cancer.

11. What Is Your Eye Color?

Brown.

12. Take A Vitamin Daily?

No.

13. Do You Sing In The Shower?

Yes, usually it’s Mitski or songs from musicals because you know. Former theater kid.

14. What Books Are You Reading?

The Chronology of Water by Lidia Yuknavitch.

15. Grab The Book Nearest To You, Turn To Page 64, Give Me Line 14.

“As in earlier days” from the poem The Walk by Thomas Hardy

16. Favorite Anime?

OPM is the only anime I watch. Being Japanese American and fem aligned means having. Not great associations with anime tbh.

17. Last Person You Cried In Front Of?

I honestly can’t remember the last time I cried in front of someone

WAIT YES I DO

It was November 23rd and my little cousin and I watched Over the Garden Wall. Both of us cried at the end.

18. Do You Collect Anything?

I have a knife collection and an old rock collection from when I was younger. I also unintentionally have a major makeup collection. My lipstick collection is borderline embarrassing. In my defense it started in 7th grade.

19. What Did You Have For Lunch?

I uh. I didn’t have lunch skfjhdsljfh

20. Do You Dance In The Car?

I do!

21. Favorite Animal?

Dude I fucking love crows.

22. Do You Watch The Olympics?

Some of them! My mom was really athletic growing up (as in one of those kids that plays a sport every season in high school), so she watches a lot of them. We tend to watch figure skating (which I know little about but have strong opinions on), gymnastics, synchronized swimming, track, and judo.

23. What Time Do You Usually Go To Bed?

Usually I’m in bed by 11 but I don’t go to sleep until 2am. Recently I’ve been getting to sleep at 7am.

24. Are You Wearing Makeup Right Now?

It is currently three in the morning so no akslkjsahd

25. Do You Prefer To Swim In A Pool Or The Ocean?

Ocean. I grew up in Northern California near the coast, and now I’m in a landlocked state. And you can kind of feel it, you know? The air doesn’t smell like salt and redwoods, the mountains aren’t there to hold up the sky so you just feel it pressing down on your chest. I miss the ocean.

26. Favorite Tumblr Blog?

I don’t know if I have a favorite. erikkillmongerdontpullout is funny and insightful, and I love dostoevskydocs’ poetry compilations.

27. Bottled Water Or Tap Water?

I grew up somewhere with access to really good tap water, so I’ll go with that.

28. What Makes You Happy?

Writing, spending time with friends, the feeling of dappled sunlight through the tree canopy.

29. Post A Gif Of What You’re Currently Feeling Right Now.

30. Do You Study Better With Or Without Music?

With :)

31. Dogs Or Cats?

Dogs but I love cats too!

32. If You Were A Crayon What Color Would You Be?

Moss green!

33. PlayStation Or Xbox.

Xbox.

34. Would You Swim In The Lake Or Ocean?

Ocean. I don’t trust lakes.

35. Do You Believe In Magic?

I believe in the supernatural, I don’t know if magic’s the right word. It’s more like a belief that there’s something more to the world than what we’re able to perceive.

36. What Color Shirt Are You Wearing?

Charcoal grey.

37. Can You Curl Your Tongue?

Yes! I can also make my tongue into a clover.

38. Do You Save Money Or Spend It?

A bit of both. I can be pretty frugal when I’m by myself but I inherited the need to pay for everything for my friends from my mom, so if my friends are around, I will try to muscle my way into paying for everything. This is usually unsuccessful bc my friends are in the same boat.

39. Is There Anything Pink Within 10 Feet Of You?

Yes. I’ve got a pink water bottle on my bedstand.

40. Do You Have Any Obsessions Right Now?

I mean. OPM lkjshdflkjdh I’ve been hyperfixating on it, but I also am pretty obsessed with OTGW (I have been for years).

41. Have You Ever Caught A Butterfly?

No but I’ve had a few land on me.

42. Are You Easily Influenced By Other People?

Depends on the person. Overall, I’d say no, but my friends have significant sway over me.

43. Do You Have Strange Dreams?

Yes.

44. Do You Like Going On Airplanes?

I actually do. But only for short flights. Anything longer than 4 hours makes my body really hurt.

45. Name One Movie That Made You Cry.

Moana.

46. Peanuts Or Sunflower Seeds?

Sunflower seeds!

47. If I Handed You A Concert Ticket Right Now, Who Would You Want The Performer To Be?

Orville Peck or Carseat Headrest.

48. Are You A Picky Eater?

Nope!

49. Are You A Heavy Sleeper?

Yeah.

50. Do You Fear Thunder/Lightning?

No, I actually love them. I sleep best when it’s thundering.

51. Do You Like To Read/Write?

Yes to both. I’m a Creative Writing major so dkljfhljkdf

52. Do You Like Your Music Loud?

Yeah! Though not as loud as some people, my ears are sensitive.

53. Would You Rather Carve Pumpkins Or Wrap Presents?

Wrap presents. I’m not a big fan of the smell of pumpkin, and wrapping presents is a tradition for my mom, brother and I. We’d put on some music, drink some hot chocolate, and wrap as many as possible. Then my brother and I would smuggle some wrapping paper to our rooms and wrap our mom’s gift.

54. Put Your Music On Shuffle, What Is The First Song That Came Up?

Somebody that I Used to Know-Gotye (listen the song still slaps)

55. What Season Are You In Right Now? (Weather)

Winter/Spring transition. It hailed for 15 minutes straight yesterday.

56. What Are You Craving Right Now?

A popeyes 5 piece spicy chicken meal with fries and ranch. Can you tell I’ve thought about this?

57. Post A Screenshot Of Your Tumblr Feed.

I don’t wanna.

58. What Is Your Gender?

Nonbinary, but vaguely girl adjacent.

59. Coffee Or Tea?

I think coffee. I drink more tea, but I also drink exclusively green tea and chai (like the traditional chai made with milk not the chai teabags) and I really am not a black/white/earl grey tea person.

60. Do You Have Any Homework Right Now? If So, What Is It About?

OOF Yeah I do

I’ve got a thousand word readers response to “The Other Boat” by E. M. Foster, a one thousand word journal about WWI, a reflective journal check in and a powerpoint I have to make for Sense and Sensibility for Brit Lit and I also am tutoring a few of my classmates

In my biological anthropology class I’ve got a Unit Exam and a few lectures to watch

For my internship/Teachers Assistant position I’ve got 17 10 page rough drafts to read and give in depth comments on as well as a portfolio I have to assemble for next year’s TA bc I’m transferring, phone meetings with the 17 students who wrote those rough drafts, and I’ve gotta compile some resources for my professor

I need to finish my memoir for my independent study and I have to present. my nonfiction memoir. to my classmates. on Zoom. I’m one of two people doing a nonfiction memoir for their independent study the rest are doing fiction, poetry or a literary analysis paper so like. My classmates are gonna be talking about their fiction piece and then I’m gonna be giving a 15 minute reading and Q&A about a piece that focuses on my trauma and being hate crimed so that’s fun.

I also gotta get some stuff done for my school’s lit magazine.

61. What Is Your Sexuality?

A known bisexual™

62. Do You Make Your Bed In The Morning?

I try to but I forget.

63. Favorite Pokémon?

Togepi, Blissey and Togekiss.

64. Favorite Social Media?

I hate to say it but it’s tumblr.

65. What’s Your Opinion On Instagram Stories?

If it’s longer than six stories, I’m not watching it. Unless I know they’re gonna be fun or we’re really close then I will.

66. Do You Get Homesick?

A bit. I’m still really homesick for my hometown tbh because that’s where all my family except for my parents are. I’m really close with my extended family, so being isolated from them feels like there’s an emptiness at my side.

67. Are You A Virgin?

No.

68. What Shampoo And Conditioner Are You Using Right Now?

Redken Frizz Dismiss. I got those big fucking bottles you can get at Ulta where it’s like a gallon of shampoo so I haven’t had to buy any in over a year.

69. If You Were Far From Home And Needed To Sleep For The Night, Would You Choose To Rent A Crappy Motel Room For $60 Or Sleep In Your Car For Free?

I’ve slept in my car before and I will do so again most likely. Also $60 is too much to spend for a motel room.

70. Are Both Of Your Blood Parents Still In Your Life?

Yes. Though I’m much closer to my mom than my dad.

71. Whats The Next Movie You Want To See In Theaters?

Idk shit about movies tbh.

72. Do You Miss Your Ex?

One of them yes, the others no. But the one I miss I also acknowledge is someone who had their place in my life at the time and helped me through some rough shit, but no longer has a place in my life. I appreciate the hell out of him though, and we’re on good terms.

73. What Is Your Favorite Quote Right Now?

I’ve got two!

“I don’t know how to stay tender with this much blood in my mouth” –Ophelia, Hamlet

and

"Suffering feels religious if you do it right." –Chelsea Hodson

74. What Eye Color Do You Find Sexiest?

Brown. Especially the almost black-brown eyes.

75. Did You Like Swinging As A Child? Do You Still Get Excited When You See A Swing Set?

Yes to both.

76. What Was The Last Thing You Ate?

Chocolate covered pretzels ljhflfsd

77. What Games Do You Have On Your Phone?

Toon Blast and 2048.

78. Would You Give A Homeless Person CPR If They Were Dying? Why Or Why Not?

Holy shit I hate this question. Yes, of course I would. I don’t know why mentioning that the person is homeless is relevant. Homeless people are not somehow less worthy of CPR?? What the fuck.

79. Been On The Computer For 5 Hours Straight?

...yes

80. Stalked Someone On A Social Network?

I’ve briefly skimmed over someone’s page after meeting them but I don’t lurk.

81. Do You Like Meeting New People?

Depends on my mood.

82. Do You Wear Rings? If You Do, Take A Picture Of Them.

I hate my hands so this was pushing it.

83. Do You Sleep With Your Bedroom Door Open Or Closed?

Closed.

84. What Are Three Things You Did Today?

Corrected papers, walked my dog, did some writing.

85. What Do You Wear To Bed?

T-shirt and shorts.

86. List All Of Your Different Beauty Products You Have Right Now.

Dude I can’t do that I have too many, I’ve been buying makeup for 7 years and I used to work next to a sephora

My makeup routine pre-rona was:

Sephora brand moisturizer

Milk Hydrogrip primer

Fenty Pro Filtr Hydrating Foundation

Maybelline Age Rewind Concealer

Anastasia Brow Definer

Glossier Cloud Paint

Fenty Sunstalkr Bronzer

Fenty Liquid Flyliner

Fenty Flypencil

Fenty Full Frontal Mascara

Fenty Glossbomb

It’s...an expensive routine.

87. Are You A Day Or Night Person?

Night to early morning.

88. List All Of Your Video Games On Your Phone, Console Etc.

I answered this one and I don’t want to reanswer it tbh ldkjfhds

89. Tell Me About A Dream That You Had And When It Happened.

I genuinely can’t remember any of my dreams right now. I remember a snippet of one where I was in a cave and I looked at the wall and I could see water running down it, reflecting in the torchlight but that’s literally it.

90. Favorite Soda Drink?

I’m a big pomegranate person, so Italian soda’s my go to.

91. What Sounds Are Your Favorite?

The sizzle of meat hitting a hot wok, rain, hail, thunder, the crunch of dry leaves. I also love the sound of Simone de Rochefort’s laugh. It’s so good.

92. Do You Wear Jeans Or Sweats More?

Jeans.

93. How Do You Look Right Now?

Shitty.

94. Name Something That Relaxes You.

Skyrim ldskjfhd

95. What Tattoo Do You Want?

I really want to get my family’s mon on my ribcage and my mom’s Japanese name somewhere. I don’t know how my pain tolerance is but if I can handle it, I’d want to get at least a partial sleeve.

96. Favorite YouTuber?

Polygon and Watcher.

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batbirdies · 4 years

Text

NaNoWriMo 2019 Batfam fic Part 5

Part 5 of my Jason Todd Batfam fic where Jason eventually agrees to dog sit Titus, there are some deep seated issues, unintended animal therapy, snarky text messages between robins and eventually some reconciliation between father and son. Takes place in a murky in between time sometime after Damian was resurrected.

Hopefully I get the links right in this one unlike my last post, as someone kindly pointed out, because I tried to edit the link and just holy cow. The website won’t save it, and if I try to edit posts on the app? It just deletes all the content completely. Very nice Tumblr....

Same warning as all other installments: this is a very rough draft that is being copied and pasted from my working google doc. Expect mistakes. These are also snippets, and there is skipped content in between.

Part 1,

Part 2,

Part 3,

Part 4

Some days were better than others but the flash of the fighting pits that morning put him enough on edge that in the end, he’d sided with staying in. Even if skipping out so much left him with a lingering sense of guilt, it was better than shooting someone because the pit told him to.

And hey, Bruce was right after all, he’d always wanted a dog so he might as well enjoy it while it lasted.

So he makes himself dinner, something good, from scratch that he can keep on hand for after patrol snacks on other days. He digs through his kitchen and settles on fajitas, easy but delicious and good leftovers. He takes Titus on a third walk that evening just before he eats and then he feeds him just before dishing himself up dinner.

He watches Titus fling one of his toys around a little while he eats and thinks maybe he’ll take him to a dog park the next day instead of just walking around the block. The whole point was that he needed the exercise wasn’t it? He was friendly and it was something for Jason to do in the middle of the day when he’d normally be knee deep in research for a case. So he reads up on local ones and finds one not too far away that’s an off leash park where he can throw the ball for Titus and get him some decent exercise. The demon will probably even be happy about it.

When it’s nearing the time he’d normally be leaving for patrol he peruses his bookshelves, picks out an old favorite, makes himself a mug of tea and lays out on the couch with the new blanket draped over his lower half and reads. Tries not to think about the people on the streets that might need him, that he could be leaving without protection while he’s lounging somewhere comfortable and warm.

It feels lazy, after everything he’s done and been through.

But he’s not Batman. He knows his limits, he knows when he should back off and take a break and so that’s that. He doesn’t think about it.

He tries to absorb himself in the story, and manages a little, until about ten minutes later when there’s a heavy shift in weight on the couch and Jason looks up from his book to find Titus carefully picking his feet around his legs.

“What do you think you’re— Oof-“ His breath wheezed out of him in a rush as Titus’ full weight came down on his gut, all balanced on one small foot. “You’re crushing me, what are you doing?” Another two steps and the dog was suddenly settling down, shoving his hands and book out of the way, Titus whole body resting on top of Jason’s. Nose reaching all the way up to his collar bone, front paws tucked in next to his head, the rest of him a solid, heavy weight down his front with lower legs resting between Jason’s. He gasps out a laugh and wishes his phone was within reach, he’d get another picture to send to Damian.

Titus huffs out a very soft growl and Jason settles a hand on his head, scratching at his itchy ears while he turns his head from side to side and whaps his tail against the soft leather of the couch.

“You do this to the kid too? You’re bigger than he is, you’d break his ribs.” Titus only lets out a pleased little grumble at the ear scratches before Jason finishes with a pat to the side of his neck and attempts to find a comfortable place to settle his book and read with the dog on top of him. It’s an oddly comfortable weight, even if his bony little elbows are jutting into his rib cage and his lungs feel mildly compressed. The little warm puffs of air on the backs of his hands when he finally sets the book in front of Titus’ nose, uncomfortably close to his face, are kind of...nice too.

Jason hadn’t gone to sleep before 2am in he could even remember how long, but it was just nearing midnight when he’s starting to nod off. Titus weight and body heat making him weirdly drowsy. The words on the page blur in front of him multiple times before he finally slips a bookmark in the page he could last actually remember and set it on the coffee table next to him. Then he rested his hands on either side of Titus head and closed his eyes, letting himself just fall asleep. He’d regret it later when he woke up in the middle of the night with his neck killing him or Titus crushing his sternum while getting down off the couch, but for the time being, he felt oddly relaxed.

He was drifting off before he knew it.

The dream that night is not a new one. Not that they ever are, but it does start more abruptly than he’s used to.

He opens his eyes in the dark and he’s blinking and blinking and the air around him is hot and stale and Jason has no idea where he is or how he got there, but it’s cramped and he can’t move his arms above his head and his heart is pounding so loud it’s all he can hear. There’s not enough air, his elbows keep slamming into the sides of the box he’s in and he’s crying, panicking, in seconds. Clawing at the barrier above him until his nails are torn and bleeding. His only rational thought comes when he manages to slip his belt off, when he starts tearing at the exposed wood of the coffin with the buckle, mindless, angry, terrified, it’s all he can do to keep moving so he doesn’t just lay down and die again.

Splintered chips of wood cut up his hands but the sting is nothing compared to the frantic adrenaline pumping through him. All at once the weakened wood gives way and then Jason is sputtering and coughing up soil that’s collapsing in -

Something cold and wet touches his cheek and he’s blinking his eyes open to a dimly lit apartment and Titus’ big head right in his face. He noses at his chin and whines and Jason groans, shoving away Titus’ face and feeling his skin crawl, he tries to push the dog off and Titus goes without complaint, jumping to the floor with only one well placed kick to Jason’s bladder.

He lays there, staring at the ceiling and counting his breaths. Titus licks his hand and Jason jerks upright, startled, and swallows. The dog sits down on the floor but presses himself to the side of the couch, shoves his head in Jason’s lap and he focuses on that, on the soft, velvet like fur under his fingers when he rubs them across the bony head.

“I’m fine.” He whispers to the dog, like Titus is worried about him or something. “Thanks for waking me up.” He can just see the whites of the dog’s eyes flash when he glances up at him, like he’s really listening. “The rest of that dream is….not good.” He draws in a deep breath, feels like his lungs are still compressed and counts himself an idiot for not realizing sleeping with a weight on his chest would drag up those particular memories.

“My fault.” He feels boneless. “Sorry I scared you.” Titus lifts his head and gets a solid lick to Jason’s face before he manages to jerk back, gets a face full of dog breath that has him suppressing a gag. “Christ.” He shoves his snout the other direction, feeling a slightly hysterical laugh bubble up in his chest. “You are really something, you know that?”

Jason sits there for a little while longer, letting his breathing even out and scratching at Titus’ ears and down his neck. His bladder is dying for a relief and he finally levers himself up off the couch and shuffles to the bathroom, listens to Titus’ claws clicking across the linoleum of the kitchen floor when he goes for a drink.

Exhaustion pulls at him, even after the dream, now that his heart rate is back down to normal and instead of pulling out a book or the headphones or watching stupid aimless YouTube video’s on his phone like he might normally, he crawls into his bed and lays on his stomach, face pressed into a pillow. He can feel himself drifting back off and has a minor twinge of fear that the dream will just start back up again - but then he feels the weight on the mattress shift and Titus pads up next to him, settling himself on the lower half of the bad, half curled up, and sets his chin on the back of Jason’s leg. He feels the weird sensation of the dog swallowing and he’s out before he has another moment to worry.

#Jason Todd #Fanfiction #NaNoWriMo #Batfam #I promise this is more than just Jason having repeated PTSD nightmares #trigger warning PTSD #for that matter #nightmares #someday ill post one of these NOT in the middle of the night #it’s currently 1am where i am

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ravenclawravings · 6 years

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Time is NOT social construct. It is measurable, observable, it changes and bends and stretches from gravity and it is absolutely existent. Signed, a mildy pissed off ravenclaw (but i still love you)

A'ight, so it’s 2am and I’m on my phone, so I’m not going to go through and find sources.

You’re right, kinda. Time has scientific reasoning behind it, but that’s it, reasoning. We as a species put reasons behind time and how we measure it because it’s important to us for some reason.

The Earth rotates all the way around on its axis, we call that a day. The Earth revolves completely around the sun, that’s a year. But only because that’s how we’ve decided as a collective to measure it.

Why not have 6 months a year and about 60 days in each one? Okay, so there’s the moon’s cycle, but it doesn’t 100% match up to our months, does it? And there are a bunch of other reasons, but that could also be a bit of confirmation bias.

What we consider a calendar month was not the original way we measured time. I’ll look it up in a bit, but there wasn’t always 12 months. And I’m pretty sure a month was added at some point because an important Roman dude wanted a month named after him. (July and August were actually renamed btw for Julius Caesar, and then Augustus. Also, October is the tenth month, but my dudes, Oct means 8, so like, just a little bit of digging tells you that October used the be the eighth month) (Okay, also, also, I just talked about months, but I can’t be bothered to go back to that earlier paragraph. Months lasting as long as they do does come from the lunar cycle, but also there’s the fact of people with vaginas measuring their menstrual cycles being one of the first measurements of time, because lets be real here, why would a person with a penis need to measure out approximately 30 days?) What we consider months was mapped by stars and people didn’t originally know that the Earth revolved around the sun, but they saw how the stars moved at night and throughout the year, and it’s actually amazing how similar some of the first calendars are to what we have now and how they are the basis of what we have now.

There’s also the fact that different species experience time at different rates. For example, a fly sees time much slower than we do, which is why it’s so easy for them to evade a swatter for ages while we get frustrated because we thought we hit them that time, but no, somehow they’re at the other end of the room now. And dogs and cats are especially good pets for us because they experience time at a similar rate that we do.

Sometimes there’s a difference within species as well. Maybe you’re an athlete, and when the ball is coming towards you, it’s like you can slow it down and know exactly where to be to catch/hit/whatever the ball. Maybe you were in a car accident, and right before impact, the world around you seemed to slow down, you could see exactly what was going to happen, but you were powerless to stop it. You know where your car is going to be hit, and as soon as it does, it’s as if time has sped up to 200% because it all happens so fast. Suddenly you’re slammed into an airbag and there’s a crushing pain across your chest, and an immense confusion, because ten seconds ago you were just driving along, and then your world got completely thrown out of the norm.

So basically, time is made up of constraints that we put to it to make sense of the world around us. And while it makes sense and greatly helps us in many ways, because we also tend to be a species that wants reasoning behind everything, we want an explanation for everything, and sometimes we make that reason because it’s then easier to grasp. So yeah, we put reason behind time and how we measure it. And yes, time is always passing and it is in a way an entity we cannot actually grasp. Time is a social construct in the sense that we measure it and put meaning behind it. Time is a social construct because we as a people experience it at the same rate and can communicate it to each other in these otherwise meaningless words like “second,” “minute,” “hour.” Time has meaning because we say it does. It would pass without us, but we make it into something, so yeah, time is a social construct.

There’s also the fact that the standardization of how we measure time didn’t happen until sometime in the 1800′s, which is so recent you guys, so fucking recent. (Something to do with railroads?)

-Zoe

P.S. This is all shit I just sorta remember, and as I said, I can’t be bothered to look anything up right now, but you’re all welcome to research as you please. But I will not back down that time is a social construct, I will die on this fucking hill. Basically my dudes, everything is a social construct and there are scientific articles on it if you feel like reading an actual smart person talk about it other than my babble.

P.P.S. I did write this at 2am, but then saved it as a draft because I knew there would be a lot of errors I had to fix… which there were… but I’m still not looking up sources because lazy… and that was my least favorite part of writing essays.

#i will die on this hill #don't try me #ask #anon #answer #not harry potter related #this is a response to a post from a few days ago i think?#time is a social construct #time #measurement of time #everything is a social construct #my dudes #i will have a whole existential post on here if you guys let me #don't give me that excuse #we as a species literally make up everything #we are a creative people #even if you're not a creative person #there is creativity in science #they make up the names of things #and a lot of the time you can see humanity in names #people are sometimes dumb shits when they make names for stuff #sometimes it's cuz they're petty af #humanity has tried to make sense of the world around us for forever #and we will continue to do so #this is one of those ways #we put reasons behind things because it's easier for us to grasp them

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