Every norribeth au ever is either "they lived happily ever after" or "she crushed his heart and soul", and that's good and all, but I propose a different route:

They're in Port Royal. They get married, like they're expected to. They're good friends. The marriage is just a cover, though, because they're both seeing other people (Lizzie with Will, James with Jack) and they cover for each other constantly because oh! The social taboos! The Governor's daughter and a blacksmith? Preposterous! The commodore and a goddamn pirate? Unthinkable!

They're a sassy pair of bitches and can act completely in love when the situation calls for it, but at the end of the day, they're having the last laugh and a fist-bump because they've damn well fooled society into thinking they're the perfect married couple.

I watched all the Chinese idol survival shows so you don’t have to (but you should anyway)

About three years ago, I watched 创造101 Produce 101 China, and it kinda changed my life. Yes, really! This show dragged me down a rabbit hole that eventually led to me watching many more Chinese shows and listening to almost exclusively Chinese music. I’m even branching out to cdramas now. All under the guise of, um, improving my listening comprehension!

OK, so “all the Chinese idol survival shows” might be an exaggeration. I’ll be talking about these three classic idol group survival shows from the “golden age” period of 2018-2021:

>> 偶像练习生 Idol Producer/青春有你 Youth with You (iQiyi)

偶像练习生 Idol Producer

青春有你1 Youth with You 1

青春有你2 Youth with You 2

青春有你3 Youth with You 3

>> 创造101 Produce 101/创造营 Chuang (Tencent)

创造101 Produce 101 China

创造营2019 Produce Camp 2019

创造营2020 Chuang 2020

创造营2021 Chuang 2021

>> 以团之名 All For One/少年之名 We Are Young (Youku)

以团之名 All For One

少年之名 We Are Young

Here is the order I actually watched these 10 seasons in:

创造101 Produce 101 China

青春有你2 Youth with You 2

创造营2020 Chuang 2020

创造营2019 Produce Camp 2019

偶像练习生 Idol Producer

青春有你1 Youth with You 1

青春有你3 Youth with You 3

创造营2021 Chuang 2021

以团之名 All For One

少年之名 We Are Young

I started 创造101 Produce 101 China in late 2019/early 2020 and finished 少年之名 We Are Young on Christmas Day 2022. I was literally tearing up. Three franchises, ten seasons, something around 1000 contestants, and three years of my life.

In order to refresh my memory for this post, I rewatched almost all of the performance clips from these shows. I didn’t watch the initial evaluations or any practice room videos (it’s simply too much content). It was simultaneously fun and exhausting. I will go over why you should/shouldn’t watch each season and give any other notable remarks. Let’s get started!

*Please note that for any YouTube links below, there is a risk of muted sections, parts/entire episodes being unavailable, and missing/out of sync subtitles. For official links, whether or not a VIP subscription is needed may change in the future. Fansubbed content may have sections or entire episodes missing.

>> 偶像练习生 Idol Producer/青春有你 Youth with You (iQiyi)

iQiyi rebranded the series by changing its name from 偶像练习生 Idol Producer to 青春有你 Youth with You after the first season. However, they really didn’t change much about the format at all. From what I’ve heard, iQiyi doesn’t have as large a budget as Tencent, which you can see reflected in the show’s production quality. However, I’ve long felt that this franchise has a real charming quality that makes up for lack of flashy sets.

偶像练习生 Idol Producer

Watch on iQiyi (English subs, VIP needed) Watch via Idol Producer Subs (English fansubs, missing part of finale)

Why you should watch it: Though not China’s first idol survival show, this show was the first of a new era. It’s iconic! The theme song is a bop, 10/10. Also, I had heard of all of the winners before I watched this season, so there’s some real cultural relevance. I can’t believe it was nearly five years ago! The whole top 20 remains iconic to this day. In most seasons, there are at least one or two popular contestants who I don’t really like or don’t see the appeal of, but that wasn’t the case this season. This season is also a lot shorter than later seasons, so it’s easier for those who are new to survival shows.

Why you shouldn’t watch it: As I mentioned, there is a lack of flashy sets/stages here. The background of the stage often looks empty. There were some performances that were better than I remembered, but there were others that were...not. I’m pretty sure 黄明昊 Justin was 15 when the show began, which shocks me in a BAD way. And if you’re a Jackson Wang fan, I think he barely appeared in the second half of the show.

My picks: 郑锐彬 Zheng Ruibin, 周彦辰 Zhou Yanchen, 蔡徐坤 Cai Xukun, 王子异 Wang Ziyi, 朱星杰 Zhu Xingjie, 周锐 Zhou Rui

Favorite performance: PPAP A组 PPAP group A This was a powerhouse group. And it was hilarious to watch the boys’ reaction when they heard the whole song and realized the style was not at all what they had initially expected! They totally pulled it off though.

Iconic moments: 蔡徐坤 Cai Xukun’s outfit (and ego) in the initial evaluation, B-A-L-A-N-C-E, when we realized 朱星杰 Zhu Xingjie can sing too, 林彦俊 Lin Yanjun's platinum hair, one of the songs was called Mack Daddy which causes me great distress to this day, 周锐 Zhou Rui aka 周美锐 Zhou Meirui, I’m still laughing over 朱星杰 Zhu Xingjie’s resemblance to 胡巴 Huba.

Verdict: Though this was not my first idol survival show, I think it would be a great first foray for anyone. It’s iconic for a reason. You should watch it (and I might rewatch it). 

青春有你1 Youth with You 1

Watch on iQiyi (English subs, VIP needed) Watch via Qing Chun You Ni Subs (English fansubs)

Why you should watch it: This season is the forgotten child of the franchise, but it still had some great performances and a lot of talented contestants. The theme song is also probably my favorite out of all ten theme songs! It was love at first listen. Personally, I enjoyed this team of mentors more than the first season’s. I also feel that the vocal-based performances were stronger this season. For instance, there were great performances of 李荣浩 Li Ronghao songs.

Why you shouldn’t watch it: I feel that some of the magic of the first season was lost, and overall the contestants were not as memorable or charismatic in my opinion. There were also several contestants I found extremely irritating and some contestants who ranked much higher and last much longer on the show than I feel they should have based on their skill level...but I won’t name names.

My picks: 夏瀚宇 Xia Hanyu, 李振宁 Li Zhenning, 周士原 Zhou Shiyuan, 连淮伟 Li Huaiwei

Favorite performance: 隔壁泰山 A组 Neighboring Tarzan group A This is a very unusal song, but it’s so catchy and memorable. 夏瀚宇 Xia Hanyu really made this performance for me. And this song still gets stuck in my head months later!

Iconic moments: 冯俊杰 Feng Junjie and 夏瀚宇 Xia Hanyu trying to outdo each other, 胡春杨 Hu Chunyang looked angry 24/7 for no reason, they literally got 蔡依林! Jolin Tsai! as a mentor, 李汶翰 Li Wenhan was everyone’s older brother, their performance made me fall in love with the song 耳朵 Erduo, they kinda did a steampunk concept which I love.

Verdict: It’s not necessarily a must-watch, but I still enjoyed it. If you’ve fallen into the black hole of survival shows and want more, I think it’s worth your time.

青春有你2 Youth with You 2

Watch on iQiyi (English subs, VIP needed) Watch on YouTube (English subs) Watch on YouTube (no English subs, missing several parts/episodes)

Why you should watch it: As iQiyi’s first time with female contestants, this season was highly anticipated. iQiyi stepped it up with subtitles, got Lisa from BLACKPINK as a mentor (I saw people say they came for Lisa and stayed for the trainees), and made a lot of content available on YouTube. As a result, some of the performances from this season have millions of views. It’s well deserved—a lot of the contestants are overflowing with talent and charisma. And honestly, you should watch this for 蔡徐坤. He’s a great MC/mentor to the girls and was truly a highlight of the season for me.

Why you shouldn’t watch it: This is the only season that I watched week by week as it was airing. It was EXHAUSTING. iQiyi started pumping out two episodes a week, doubling the overall episode count. I was literally burnt out by the finale. So if you watch this, please take it slow. Also, I forgot how much they did that thing where they cut away from the performances to show other contestant/mentor reactions and then have to go rewind on the performance...it really drives me nuts. They overdid it for sure.

My picks: 刘雨昕 Liu Yuxin, 喻言 Yu Yan, 王承渲 Wang Chengxuan, 刘令姿 Liu Lingzi, 许馨文 Xu Xinwen

Favorite performance: 不奉陪 No Company This was a tough choice! I went with this performance because I actively sought it out for relistens. That’s so rare for 主题考核 theme evaluation songs for me. All the members got to shine yet they were a very cohesive team.

Iconic moments: Bad Guy was the ultimate dark horse, how no one knew the song 想见你想见你想见你 Miss You 3000, 王承渲 Wang Chengxuan defeated the evil quads, 乃万 Nineone basically replaced Jony J as rap mentor, seeing 刘雨昕 Liu Yuxin with a wig was terrifying, they let the girls wear shorts if they didn’t like skirts #feminism, I still think about 张钰 Zhang Yu and 王清 Wang Qing’s initial performance all the time.

Verdict: I don’t think I could rewatch this season due to its length, but if you can commit the time, I think you should watch it. I’m sad I’ll never get to see a second 青春有你 Youth with You female season.

青春有你3 Youth with You 3

Watch on iQiyi (English subs, no VIP needed) Watch on iQiyi (no English subs, no VIP needed) Watch on YouTube (no English subs, missing several parts/episodes)

Why you should watch it: This season was probably the one I felt most emotionally invested in. I feel like I got to know the boys and was in it together with them (parasocial relationships, I know). And the friendships between contestants were so touching. Like 青春有你2 Youth with You 2, this season was also extra long, but I watched this season after it aired, going at my own pace. There were so many charming contestants and memorable performances. The dancing especially shone, but we got some great vocal moments too. I think iQiyi did a really good job picking songs this season.

Why you shouldn’t watch it: Sadly, the finale never aired. Due to the infamous milk-wasting scandal, the show was cancelled (but a winning group still formed and debuted). Even though I knew this before watching the show, it was still quite sad to never see a conclusion. Additionally, I believe this show started with more like 120 contestants, and I felt that increased number. Lastly, there was some painful singing and lots of very uninspired rapping. I feel like the gap in skill between the contestants was larger, and some of the teams felt very unbalanced as a result.

My picks: 姜京佐 Jiang Jingzuo, 杨昊铭 Yang Haoming, 十七 Shiqi, 徐子未 Xu Ziwei, 张思源 Zhang Siyuan, 连淮伟 Lian Huaiwei

Favorite performance: 燕尾蝶 Wings of Love This performance was everything I could ever dream of. 徐子未 won the world over instantly. He has the voice of an angel. Love the song, love the concept, love everything about it.

Iconic moments: 罗一舟 Luo Yizhou and 余景天 Tony Yu Jingtians’s friendly rivalry, 徐子未 Xu Ziwei’s back-to-back victories, Yuta’s adorable accent, 王南钧 Wang Nanjun would not shut up about 竹 Bamboo, touch 梁森 Liang Sen’s head for good luck, 刘隽 Liu Jun dances like he’s possessed (in a good way), that 雨爱 Rainie Love stage was a trainwreck tbh.

Verdict: Despite the scandals and lack of a finale, it was worth the watch for me. I feel so fond thinking of this season. Truthfully, season three has surpassed season two for me.

>> 创造101 Produce 101/创造营 Chuang (Tencent)

I read somewhere that Tencent officially licensed the Produce 101 name from Mnet, making this franchise more “official.” For season two, they ended up changing the name to 创造营 Produce Camp. The Chinese name remained the same for seasons three and four, but the in English they started promoting the show under the name Chuang. I think they wanted to beat iQiyi in the contest to see who can have the most titles for the same show.

创造101 Produce 101 China

Watch on Tencent Video (English subs, no VIP needed) Watch on 腾讯视频 (no English subs, VIP needed) Watch on YouTube (no English subs) Watch on YouTube (no English subs, episode 7 here, episode 10 here) Watch via Produce 101 China Subs (English fansubs)

Why you should watch it: This is the only season I’ve seen twice, so that says something I guess! This season holds a special place in my heart as my first survival show, so I rewatched it earlier this year with some friends who hadn’t seen it previously. One thing that stood out to me about this season was that it felt like there were several dark horses who started to shine closer to the middle/end of the show. I liked this because it’s boring when the debut lineup is completely predictable! And if you’re not already a 孟美岐 Meng Meiqi fan, you will leave as a 孟美岐 Meng Meiqi fan, guaranteed.

Why you shouldn’t watch it: Not gonna lie, I was not a huge fan of this mentor team. I am fine with these people individually, but together it was not an ideal combo in my opinion. They collectively made some very odd decisions that I strongly disagree with. After my rewatch, I’m just kinda done with 黄子韬 Huang Zitao. I also realized there were a lot more instances of...rough singing than I remembered, so be warned.

My picks: 孟美岐 Meng Meiqi, Yamy, 刘人语 Liu Renyu, 许靖韵 Angela Xu Jingyun, 吴映香 Lucia Wu Yingxiang, 李紫婷 Mimi Li Ziting

Favorite performance: 别人家的小孩 Other People’s Kids This is one of the most iconic performances (and one of my favorites) ever from all of these shows! It’s so unique and really has everything you could want. It was truly a perfect collab performance.

Iconic moments: When they had to tap 杨超越 Yang Chaoyue so she wouldn’t miss the beat, 王一博 Wang Yibo’s blue hair was gorgeous, Triple A group reunion, Look What You Made Me Do with creepy marionettes was perfect, when 陈嘉桦 Ella went barefoot on stage, 黄子韬 Huang Zitao literally screamed at them all, I’ll never forget the iconic 乐华 Yuehua performance.

Verdict: Even the second time, this was a season filled with surprises. It’s not perfect, but I think it will manage to charm you anyway. There are some real hidden gems here.

创造营2019 Produce Camp 2019

Watch on Tencent Video (English subs, VIP needed) Watch on 腾讯视频 (no English subs, VIP needed) Watch on YouTube (no English subs)

Why you should watch it: This was the first ever male season I watched, and I remember being apprehensive. I ended up having a lot of fun! This season really tugged at my heartstrings with the touching friendships between the boys and the intense 导师推荐生 mentor recommendees segments. I felt like I went through the wringer with them as they were forced to repack all their belongings, endure the brutal F班 demotions, hike across the beach, and more. There were countless hilarious moments too. If I were to rewatch, it would be for 周震南 Zhou Zhennan AKA 南南 Nannan. He just dominates the stage (despite his short stature)!

Why you shouldn’t watch it: I’ll admit, this season probably has the greatest number of contestants that annoy me. Sometimes it’s for no good reason...I just look at them and go ugh. The first round especially has some pretty painful singing, so be warned of that as well. Also, my rewatch made me realize I remembered very few performances from this season, which probably isn’t a good sign. Also, a lot of the performances were very short, sub-three minutes, which personally bothers me.

My picks: 周震南 Zhou Zhennan, 高嘉朗 Gao Jialang, 姚琛 Yao Chen, 陆思恒 Lu Siheng, 李鑫一 Li Xinyi, 贺俊雄 He Junxiong

Favorite performance: 开门见山 Kaimenjianshan I’ll admit that this performance was not as good as I remembered it being (probably because now I’ve heard the original by A-Mei many times), but I picked it anyway to acknowledge the amazing 高嘉朗 Gao Jialang.

Iconic moments: 张颜齐 Zhang Yanqi giving away jars of 老干妈 Lao Gan Ma, we never saw 王晨艺 Wang Chenyi again, 姚琛来了~ (Yao Chen is coming), when 周震南 Zhou Zhennan had his hoodie on but his ears were sticking out omg, try saying 李昀锐 Li Yunrui's name ten times fast, they had 30+ year old men here, this was the OG 乘风破浪 chengfengpolang.

Verdict: Among so many seasons, I don’t think this season stands out that much, but I still remember it fondly. If you want a good laugh and some fun, check it out.

创造营2020 Chuang 2020

Watch on Tencent Video (English subs, VIP needed) Watch on 腾讯视频 (no English subs, VIP needed) Watch on YouTube (English subs, missing episode 3) Watch on YouTube (English subs, missing episode 3) Watch on Viki (English subs, no Viki Pass needed)

Why you should watch it: They went all out on the sets, the location, the accommodations, everything. The performance setup was that the seats were in the middle and various stages were located around the perimeter. The seats would rotate to face the stages!! Some of the stages were stunning. I also want to mention that there were some great vocalists this season and I feel like they got to shine, which always makes me happy. The best round by far was the second round (专业方向). We got some beautiful vocal performances and intense dance performances.

Why you shouldn’t watch it: This season felt messy to me. I think they tried to mix things up, but not everything landed. The beautiful sets almost got distracting…they were more interesting than some of the performances. Several very talented and promising contestants never even made it past the first round. And since the final group only had seven people, the finale was just a frustrating experience. I never want to hear that 小摩托 xiao motuo song or 夏天的风 Summer Wind again. I don’t feel this season lived up to 创造101 Produce 101 China (unless you wanted MORE comments about weight/thinness).

My picks: 王柯 Wang Ke, 华承妍 Hua Chengyan, 刘些宁 Liu Xiening, 苏芮琪 Su Ruiqi, 朱主爱, Joyce Zhu Zhu’ai, 王一桥 Wang Yiqiao

Favorite performance: Manta There were a lot of performances I liked, but I really struggled to pick a favorite. I ultimately went with this because it’s one of the most memorable dance performances I’ve seen on these shows.

Iconic moments: That thin waist contest was simply the worst, they were in a literal castle, we all went crazy for the band and 王柯 Wang Ke, 朱主爱 Joyce Zhu Zhu’ai won the collab stage, wtf stop filming 姜贞羽 Jiang Zhenyu, I want to ride that cute train up the mountain, 毛不易 Mao Buyi did not want to talk, pretend that 吴亦凡 Wu Yifan wasn’t there.

Verdict: This season was competing against 青春有你2 Youth with You 2, and I chose to prioritize 青春有你2 Youth with You 2. I would make the same choice now. If you decide to watch, just be warned it may be a frustrating experience.

创造营2021 Chuang 2021

Watch on Tencent Video (English subs, VIP needed) Watch on 腾讯视频 (no English subs, VIP needed)

Why you should watch it: I wasn’t sure I was going to watch this season because of its international theme. Having foreigners is nothing new, but such a large number was certainly going to alter the show’s dynamic. Well, I watched it anyway. Overall, I’m glad I did. There were some talented and lovable contestants that made this season all worth it. The mentor squad (mostly 宁静 Ning Jing, 邓超 Deng Chao, and 周深 Zhou Shen) were so entertaining. Lastly, compared to the 2019 season, there were more popular vocalists this season, which I 100% support. I’ll be honest, I didn’t remember a lot of the performances from this season, but I ended up pleasantly surprised by how many great ones there were!

Why you shouldn’t watch it: It felt like there was so much focus on Nine and Patrick, Santa and Riki, the Intersection boys, and eventually Lelush as well. The other foreign contestants honestly had very little impact. This didn’t ruin the show or anything, but sometimes I got a little sick of the Santa and Mika show, you know? Also, none of my favorites made it into the winning group unfortunately. While I acknowledge the talent of the winning members, for whatever reason I wasn’t really that invested in most of them.

My picks: 俞更寅 Yu Gengying, 井胧 Jing Long, 林墨 Lin Mo, 奥斯卡 Oscar, 张星特 Zhang Xingte

Favorite performance: Lover Boy 88 This performance was simply infectious! I even made my friends watch to it. 林墨 Lin Mo is so charming. And 张腾 Zhang Teng and 张星特 Zhang Xingte’s vocals were perfect. Just wish it had been longer!

Iconic moments: Mika and 曾涵江 Zeng Hanjiang = my last two brain cells trying to communicate, I still can’t believe Lelush went viral worldwide, 刘宇 Liu Yu broke the Produce curse, Nine and Patrick only learned Chinese for how long???, Caelan kinda does look like Leonardo DiCaprio, Oscar AKA 熊熊 Xiongxiong, the 网红 wanghong group was so talented actually.

Verdict: I think this season got more international attention than 青春有你3 Youth with You 3, and while I prefer 青春有你3 Youth with You 3, this season is worth a watch for its uniqueness and improvements over the previous year.

>> 以团之名 All For One/少年之名 We Are Young (Youku)

I watched both seasons of Youku’s shorter-lived franchise in 2022 only after (and only because) I had finished the other two franchises. I think Youku had a smaller budget and thus tried to stand out by shaking up the traditional survival show formula. I think they made some poor choices and some good choices. I don’t know the story behind the name change between seasons, but the seasons are so different from each other that it makes sense.

以团之名 All For One

Watch on Youku (no English subs, VIP needed) Watch on YouTube (no English subs)

Why you should watch it: I’m going to say a lot of negative stuff below, but I wanted to add at least a few positive words. During the finale, the remaining contestants sang S.H.E’s 你曾是少年 Wings Of My Words, and I don’t think I’ve ever gotten so emotional over a performance ever. 任家萱 Selina was a delight throughout. I also really grew to appreciate 奶茶 Naicha and what a great and thoughtful leader he was.

Why you shouldn’t watch it: As I mentioned, this show had some unique features that made it stand out. The contestants formed ten groups of eight, and the composition of the groups remained unchanged throughout. Entire groups got eliminated together. This created a dynamic where some really talented contestants went home too soon due to their group. It also meant that some groups were popular really just due to having one popular member. In the end, one group won...but I guess they realized this was a bad idea, so they formed a second winning group of the most popular contestants from the non-winning groups. I didn’t like this format and felt is really negatively impacted my viewing. Personally, seeing new team lineups form is one of my favorite parts of survival shows. And because the leaders were constant, they had there was too much focus on them. Also, the mentors were so harsh all the time. Maybe it was deserved, but it really bummed me out to watch them constantly talk about how disappointed they were.

My picks: 奶茶 Naicha, 田书臣 Tian Shuchen, 龙泓昊 Long Honghao, 赖煜哲 AJ Lai Yuzhe, 热亚提 Reyati, 赵品霖 Zhao Pinlin

Favorite performance: 饕餮 Taotie This was not one of the performances that stood out in my memory, but it stood out to me when I did my rewatch. I feel like they really nailed every element, and I don’t think the other teams could have pulled off this song.

Iconic moments: 何展成 Jonathan Ha gave up on speaking Chinese and 袁娅维 Tia Ray had to translate for him, the 王霏霏 Wang Feifei and 孟佳 Meng Jia reunion, 龙泓昊 Long Honghao’s beautiful dance to a Shawn Mendes song, I’m not sure why 奶茶 Naicha chose milk tea as stage name, AJ vs. the hidden snacks, they made 周艺轩 Zhou Yixuan perform a UNIQ song.

Verdict: Maybe you can skip this one. I definitely didn’t devote my full attention while I was watching it. And it felt like the show and the mentors were being mean to the boys all the time.

少年之名 We Are Young

Watch on Youku (no English subs, VIP needed) Watch on YouTube (no English subs) Watch via We Are Young Subs (English fansubs)

Why you should watch it: They improved on basically all the issues I had with the first season, and I was pleasantly surprised. Also, this is basically a 青春有你1 Youth with You 1 mini reunion with a few 偶像练习生 Idol Producer alums plus some future 青春有你3 You with You 3 contestants. It was so wonderful to see how the contestants I already knew had grown, and I loved seeing them get new opportunities to shine. There was surprisingly a lot of good raps/rappers on this show! Also, there were some truly incredible performances this season that aren’t like anything I’ve seen on other idol survival shows. And I enjoyed almost every performance—there were only a few that I disliked or thought were, um, not good. The mentors did not always agree...but I don’t care!

Why you shouldn’t watch it: Because they have to be different, when doing the initial evaluations, only about 50 contestants advanced to the next round. This was nice because it meant fewer names/faces, but wow, it felt so mean. Sometimes I wished they had stuck to a more traditional format. Besides that, I don’t have much else negative to say!

My picks: 郭震 Guo Zhen, 寇聪 Kuo Cong, 胡文煊 Hu Wenxuan, 左林杰 Zuo Linjie, 李希侃 Li Xikan, 崔少鹏 Cui Shaopeng, 杨超文 Yang Chaowen

Favorite performance: Don’t Start Now I don’t think I’ve ever seen this exact concept on one of these shows before. This performance was instantly a standout for me, especially because it had some of my favorite contestants!

Iconic moments: They literally had a corgi, 林 (Lin) MUA, everyone shipping 薛恩 Xue En and 程潇 Cheng Xiao, 胡文煊 Hu Wenxuan in a CROP TOP, 胡彦斌 Hu Yanbin told 寇聪 Kou Cong to wear less to show off his body what, 崔少鹏 Cui Shaopeng’s entrance through the pink smoke, 左林杰 Zuo Linjie really bungee jumped with his eyes closed, how 郭震 Guo Zhen, 左叶 Zuo Ye, and 胡文煊 Hu Wenxuan were in the same group four times without anyone noticing.

Verdict: This season ended up being better than it had any right to be! I think it’s worth checking out, especially if you are missing the boys from the 偶像练习生 Idol Producer/青春有你 Youth with You series.

>> Conclusion

If you actually read this entire post, I’m thoroughly impressed. If you, like me, have spent way too much time watching these shows, feel free to send me a message because I need someone to commiserate with. 

I honestly have this weird feeling that a chapter of my life is over. I have so many treasured memories from watching these shows—moments of laughter, tears, shock, pride, and more. They’ve provided a way to ground my language studies and engage with Chinese pop culture. They made me feel less alone during earlier COVID times.

Well, I’m off to find something to fill the survival show-size hole in my heart...maybe I’ll just rewatch 偶像练习生 Idol Producer.

This Week In BL

April 2021 Part 5

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs.

Ongoing Series - Thai

Close Friend Ep 2 (JaFirst) - First is a cat. No actually a cat. It was WEIRD. Cute, but creeping towards beastiality. It reminded me of that strange series out of China (@heretherebedork says Youth in the Breeze). The most amusing thing to me was that the cat used Thai formal linguistic register when of course cats would use informal rude guu mueng with EVERYONE. No cat would use pom. Don’t be ridiculous, Thailand. 

Second Chance Ep 5 - still invested, things progressed for all 3 couples, in one direction or another. They cuties. I love them. Carry on. 

Y-Destiny Ep 5 - the “virgin scoreboard” is gonna make the seme real hard to redeem with this pairing. If they bother. This might be a life lesson episode. What does it remind me of? Oh yes. Kids. *SHUDDER* Point of interest: did you notice Team uses ha with Mon? What a pushy flirt. 

Lovely Writer Ep 10 - honestly I just love it when Poppy shows up in anything, why is he such a delightful screen presence? (Gene’s brother) Sorry, distracted. What happened in this one? Oh, ya know, stuff and things. Family drama. (It is just me or have they been giving us some long ass episodes lately?) Obligatory beach trip activated. (Result = dumb probability mathematics jokes.) Next week it looks like we have Keeping Actor’s Closeted 101. You know the Casting Couch? This is the Casting Closet. 

Fish Upon The Sky Ep 4 - early stage confession, how fun. It’s not unprecedented it just usually means we are in 4 act structure, not 3, which means Fish might go more serious than I thought. Honestly? I’m losing interest mostly because I’ve gone from mild annoyance to active dislike of Pi. Happened to me with Tine too. They better redeem this obtuse tsundere uke soon or he’s not tsundere at all he’s just a jackwit. 

Brothers Ep 13 fin - a kiss and the family finds out about the not-so-brotherly brothers, drama, graduation, THE END. My side-dish happy heart made thumps over Q + delivery boy, I’m sad they got so little screen time. My babies KhunKaow did get a tiny coming out sequence as such. I’m seriously considering doing myself a bootleg of just the KhunKaow plot, but that means I’d have to rewatch the whole darn series and I can’t STAND the idea. Which should give you insight into how not good this show it. Very NOT good. Must we get a season 2? Please stop now, Line. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

HIStory 4: Close To You (Taiwan) Ep 7 - Muren is the cutest peanut and anyone who says otherwise can fight me, although they probably have to go through Licheng first. I was NOT invested in these two at the beginning, but as a couple? They own my soul. The other storyline is still the dumpster fire that I can’t decide to roast marshmallows over (knowing they’ll get tinged with eu de trash) or flee from in horror clutching my pearls and my nose. H4 continues to provide the quality psyche torture I’ve come to expect from this franchise. *sarcastic thumbs up*  *** A word on seeing Boxiang show up (side dish from H3:MODC). It was an unexpected pleasure, I loved his pairing (May/December is a winner for me *glares at Method*) but I do think it was a bone from the franchise telling us that we are never getting that spin-off or reboot that people yearn for. However, how AWESOME that Licheng has someone to go to and ask about topping properly. Otherwise he’s sure to have screwed it up. (Pun intended.) 

Papa & Daddy (Tailwan) Ep 1-2 - this came out of nowhere and is ADORABLE. Applies a ton of BL tropes (cheek kiss, his closet, B&W stripes, drag baby around, boop) but what IS it? More slice of gay domesticity than romance. Like 2019′s Kinou Nani Tabeta? or currently airing Close Friend. I enjoy this style, very wholesome, but I’m not sure what to call it. (Bonus points for cutie lesbians.) A bit weird to have a kid with your partner and STILL not be out to your parents. I hope they aren’t going to throw in a break up for dramatic effect. 

My Lascivious Boss (Vietnam) Ep 4 - I’m really enjoying this series. It’s unabashedly queer, although there’s some problematic stuff lurking under the wig. How it ends is gonna dictate if they handled this stylishly. But hot damn the leads ZING on screen together and their crackling prank-flirting is a joy to watch. 

Word of Honor (China) Ep 31-33 - moving into the home stretch. Big rescue and the band is back together (presumably for the final slaughter). Then a death! *this is my shocked face* Did I tear up? Of course I did. 4 act structure is designed for maximum pathos during the final 1/4. Did we all faint from the symbolism of the love token hair stick being gently thrust into Ah Xu’s bun? Sure we did. All that and sill I’m flagging. This is a long-arse show. Save me, Korea, with your iItsy bitsy teenie weenie...

Nobleman Ryu’s Wedding (Korea) Ep 5-6 - I am getting such strong 12th Night vibes from this. Tae Hyung is now brigadier of BL’s historical himbo brigade. (To be deployed whenever you are in need of poetry or a cut sleeve.) This show is all ridiculous charm and I LOVE it. Although, five seconds of Lee Sang is not enough Lee Sang. I had to immediately rewatch Wish You. 

Gossip

Nitiman gave us an actor intro BTS teaser. 

Kang In Soo (AKA Kyang Insoo) posted a cute behind the photo shoot of Nobleman Ryu’s Wedding plus a silly interview with Jang Eui Soo on his YouTube channel (you should subscribe, it’s a fun channel, his fitness regime is both insane and inspiring). 

My Engineer 2 dropped a couch interview with the boys but it feels like one that was filmed a while ago (oh and no subs).  

STARTING SOON: Nitiman, Love Area, Top Secret Together, Be Loved in House, & I Promised You The Moon  

Nitiman (Thai) May 7, One 31. University set, moons, engineering students, enemies to lovers, adapted. - Looks to be a solid 2 Moons knock off, I’m in.

Love Area (Thai) May 8, AIS Play, 10 eps total. Restaurant set, stars Pak Chavitpong (the only good thing about Cupid Coach) and the OST is sung by Jeff Satur (Ingredients). - It’s boys in love revolving around food = my kryptonite, try to stop me from watching this probable trash. 

Top Secret Together (Thai) May 14, Line TV. 5 couples, one IRL (Newyear from I Am Your King), story arcs revolve around secrets.  - I’m getting fatigued by these multi-couple sampler pack dramas, but I’ll try it for Newyear’s sake.  

Be Loved in House: I Do (Taiwan YES!) May 20, Viki. Office set, relationships prohibited at work by a new boss, one of the employees is determined to figure out why. Grumpy/tsundere pairing so loads of drama. - I am so flipping excited for this one. A 4th BL series from Taiwan in less than a year? That’s unprecedented. GO BABY ISLAND GO! 

I Promised You the Moon (Thai) May 27, Line TV. Follow up to I Told Sunset About You with the boys now at university. - I won’t be watching this as I have yet to finish season 1. 

Possibly Gameboys season 2.  - Rumors are all over the place right now on this. 

Next Week Looks Like This: 

Some shows may be listed later than actual air date for International accessibility reasons. 

Upcoming 2021 BL master post here.

Links to watch are provided when possible, ask in a comment if I missed something.

Mortal Kombat (2021) Review

Well, well, well....here we are, a Mortal Kombat movie -- not the first, obviously. I will say, it's much better than both films from the 1990s. I will also say that, for the most part, I enjoyed it more than "Mortal Kombat 11" and its garbage DLC "Aftermath."

Come for me all you want, but I am standing by my thoughts on that game and its DLC.

Overall, I did like this new "Mortal Kombat" movie. It was entertaining. However, I have...a lot of issues with it, too, pertaining to lore, acting, and special effects.

What was the best part of this movie? If I had to pick one? Oh, definitely Hiroyuki Sanada as Hanzo Hasashi/Scorpion. He is one of the best Japanese actors working today. He's one of the best actors working today. Having him play such an important character was probably the best choice the producers made.

Also, quick side note: Hiroyuki is 60 years old. HOW?! I mean, he doesn't look 20, but 60? I have my doubts.

Also, this is the first time I've heard him speak English. Interesting.

Another wise decision the producers made for this movie is casting Josh Lawson as Kano. I don't like Kano. He's a dick, but Josh gave the idiot a sort of douchebag charm that you couldn't help but be amused by.

So, what did I like, broken down:

Josh Lawson and Hiroyuki Sanada

The opening scene and final fight were the best scenes in the movie. Fantastically done, both of them.

Some cute little references to MK lore: a picture of Nightwolf, the use of "flawless victory," the use of "fatality," some suspiciously MK-sounding music cues, the massive statue of Shao Kahn...There were some nice fan service moments.

The fights, even the training ones, were all entertaining. Kind of like with "Godzilla vs Kong," the action is one of the strongest points of "Mortal Kombat" (2021).

The concept of the dragon brand to indicate who would fight in MK tournaments was actually a great choice. It does give the writers an excuse to not worry about including EVERY MK character; only the ones who have been "chosen" can fight at this time. It makes sense, it works, it's intriguing.

Kung Lao slicing Nitara in half (Sorry, Nitara -- love ya, Girl!) with his "spinning hat" technique was probably the most Mortal Kombat kill of the movie. It was extremely graphic, bloody, gross, over-the-top...it was perfect.

Hanzo toasting Bi-Han with his classic fire breath was a badass move if I ever saw one.

I did like how Mileena's mouth "worked" in this movie. She had sharp teeth and reddened skin(?) around her mouth to indicate that there was something not quite right with her face. Then she gets pissed later in the movie and opens her jaw completely, revealing an almost snake-like mouth, the skin tearing in the process. It was pretty badass. I liked it.

I actually liked Raiden a lot in this movie. I don't particularly like him in the games (don't come for me -- it's just my opinion) but I thought he was awesome in this movie, a truly intimidating but wise presence. His lack of full assistance made more sense in this movie, too (again, don't come for me because this is just my opinion).

The special effects were sometimes quite good. Sub-Zero's ice powers were well made, for example. Another example is Goro, who was fantastic (so much better than he did in the 1995 movie).

The backstory behind the main weapon of Hanzo was a pleasant surprise: it was a gardening tool to being with, and he just so happened to find it and turn it into a weapon.

Mixed thoughts:

The acting was decent overall. The only two I thought did great were Josh Lawson and Hiroyuki Sanada, but everyone else was ok. Some of the performances got a little hammy at times, but...I'm not going to take too many points off for that.

I liked Mileena but also was disappointed. She wasn't as malicious and flirty as she normally is; like she was watered down in this movie for some reason. However, she still was a dangerous fighter and her mouth was crazy! 👄

What I didn't like:

Some things didn't look so great. When Jax lost his arms, it looked...well it looked like blatant CGI. The lighting barrier Raiden created to protect his fighters from Shang Tsung looked pretty cheap as well. Some set pieces looked a bit too much like set pieces. I know we're on a set because this is a movie. However, when it looks kind of obvious, it really distracts you. I know this is a Marvel movie or something, but I think the special effects and sets could have looked a bit more refined.

I preferred the Quan Chi twist in regards to the death of Hanzo's family. It provided a much more complicated revenge story, and...I just think it was a better choice than making Bi-Han the murderer, like in this movie. I get that if they did use the Quan Chi twist, this movie would have become, like, 5 hours long or something, and would have had yet another character to develop (or attempt to develop). Still, it's not my favorite take on the Sub-Zero vs Scorpion story. So...meh.

Reptile looked impressive. He was more like a ... reptile than usual, you know, as opposed to a humanoid reptile creature. However, he didn't speak and didn't wear any armor, and his role in the movie seemed forced. It felt more like a badly executed fan service moment, like, "Heeeyyyy, it's Reptile, Guys! Ok, kill him because we have too many characters already...."

Cole was a likable guy, but I didn't see a point in his character being in the movie. He isn't an MK character from the games, and this just doesn't seem like the time to make a new character for the franchise. There are so many more MK characters to choose from, I think they could have avoided making up someone.

At the same time, though, this movie does suffer from having too many characters to focus on: Cole Young, Kano, Sonya Blade, Jax Briggs, Liu Kang, Kung Lao, Reptile, Mileena, Reiko, Kabal, Shang Tsung, Raiden, Hanzo Hasashi/Scorpion, Bi-Han/Sub-Zero, Goro, Nitara...I mean, damn, that's a bunch of characters to cram into one two-hour film. People who know little to nothing about MK may not be bothered by this, but fans like myself most likely will feel disappointed with how certain characters were handled in the movie.

Reiko, what...did they do to you? Did...he even need to be in the movie? I mean, he was just.....there.

Having the concept of "arcana" was just...I don't know. It wasn't a terrible idea but it also made things even less believable. No one got their unique traits due to some sort of weird-ass prophecy or whatever in the games. I suppose the writers used this "arcana" thing as a way to keep the movie flowing and avoid having it be hours long. However, it just didn't sit right with me.

I know this movie is only two hours but I would have liked a little more development for Mileena, Reiko, and even Kabal. Kabal gave us the short version of what happened to him but, again, it was so quick. Like, blink and you'll miss it. I think Mileena and Kabal are two very interesting characters in MK, and having them be so one-dimensional was disappointing.

Hanzo was barely in this movie. It seemed....weird to me. Bi-Han was out there wrecking everyone's shit and Hanzo was somehow trapped in the Netherrealm until Cole was forced to fight Bi-Han one-on-one? I mean, eh? They chose the absolute best actor to play Hanzo but didn't use him much.

I was so disappointed to see Kung Lao killed off. I mean, characters that die in MK games don't always stay dead but still....he was so much fun in this movie (as he should be).

I didn't care for the portrayal of Nitara at all in this movie.

I didn't hate "Mortal Kombat" (2021), but I didn't love it, either. I'd watch it again, and I would watch a sequel, but there is definitely room for improvement. There is a lot of potential for the next MK movie(s) to be much better (this movie had clear potential, too, to be honest). I just hope that maybe the writers will realize this if a sequel is made.

Final grade: C+

Personally I like flashpoint as a story itself. It’s ooc for Barry but I like it. What I hate is that they used It to reboot everything.

LIKE WHO AT DC THOUGHT NEW 52 WAS A GOOD IDEA?! WHO!?!?!

Like I get it, it brought new readers but at the same time old readers lost everything they loved about characters.

And then it was all pretty much blamed on Barry. When he just came back from being dead for +20 years. There was so much they could’ve done with it but no. They’re gonna make him reboot everything so that none of that matters.

And sure they later changed it to Dr. Manhattan but still..

Oh yes no the Flashpoint comics were fun and I enjoyed seeing a different world you know butterfly effect stuff.

I think maybe it would have made more sense if right from the start if was maybe the Reverse Flash pulling the strings. You know give Barry a taste of happiness to rip it away seems like an Eobard thing to do. I never liked that it was Barry doing it cause it goes against everything he stands for. So the retcon that he was being manipulated I accepted cause it soothes the anger in my heart lol.

Now the New52 Ah a shit idea it was. But because Flashpoint was for a reboot of the franchise it actually makes sense they used Barry to do it.

Back in 1956 comics were dying. Like as a whole. And then boom Showcase #4. Barry Allen races onto the scene and basically saves the comic book industry. Start of the Silver Age. Characters are rebooted to pair well with Barry. New characters are made with Barry in mind for example Hal Jordan.

The Silver Age saw a change in the comic world and a shift to different types of stories. More progression. Just a lot of new stuff.

And he’s their shiny Silver Age Knight so why not have a new comic book age introduced by Barry again. It should only be his right after all.

But unfortunately the New52 sucked. A lot.

They wanted to redo their characters to be shiny and new but they lost the original spark that made us love them. It wasn’t a new polish it was a new model.

No one wanted that. We got some fun new characters but at what cost you know?

I didn’t mind some of the New52 stories. And I do enjoy some new characters. But I am a Green Lantern fan and they didn’t change too much. However I am also a Green Arrow fan and they got fucked over so much it still hurts to think about.

I really would have wanted things to stay the same and progress from there. I think DC has a fear of their characters aging but they shouldn’t. We love our dilfs and milfs time to give us those gilfs.

So yeah I agree Flashpoint cool concept weird execution. New52 bad concept terrible execution.

Hopefully Infinite Frontier can help us out with fixing our babies.

Third Language.

With her debut film Farewell Amor out now following a successful journey on the festival circuit, Tanzanian-American writer and director Ekwa Msangi tells Selome Hailu about the third language of music, growing up on knockoffs of the Rambo franchise, and her favorite African filmmakers.

There’s a subtle musicality central to the way Ekwa Msangi carries herself. She finds melodies in her words: “You hum the ‘m’,” she says when asked how to pronounce her last name. “Mmm-sangi.” And perhaps to a more subconscious degree, she speaks with rhythm, too: “I do think, and I know, and I can see…” she trails off, ruminating on how much hope she feels for the future of Black filmmaking. Naturally, this musical quality meanders into her work.

Farewell Amor is a quiet film, except for when it isn’t. Three Angolan immigrants revolve around each other in an awkward orbit, each trying to make sense of their dynamic now that they’ve left their home behind. Kept apart for seventeen years by the bureaucratic intricacies of war and paperwork, Walter (Ntare Guma Mbaho Mwine) is finally joined by his wife Esther (Zainab Jah) and daughter Sylvia (Jayme Lawson—soon to be seen as Bella Reál in The Batman) in New York City. But they don’t know each other anymore and spend much of their time in silence, until music and dance burst forward as a chance at common ground.

Msangi’s screenplay never dwells on the technicalities of the family’s struggle against the American immigration system. Instead, it plunges into softer, more personal after-effects of dreams deferred. Walter’s walls bear a faded calendar with Barack Obama’s face on it, even though his empty apartment complicates the “hope” the president promised people like him. When his family arrives at long last, Esther wears a silver cross pendant, having made sense of these years as a married-yet-single mother by drawing closer—almost too close—to religion. Sylvia barely speaks at all, caught between a faith that isn’t hers and a home that isn’t either.

Ntare Guma Mbaho Mwine and Nana Mensah in ‘Farewell Amor’. / Photo courtesy IFC Films

The film’s triptych structure emerged after Msangi spent months grappling with how to create a feature-length screenplay out of her original short film. “Having just come off of the short, I was focusing on Walter’s story. But [I] didn’t think that was the most original story I could tell,” she says. “And then, out of indecision between whether I should make it Walter’s or Sylvia’s story, I decided to just do both. Initially it was two perspectives that I was looking at. But I realized that Esther’s story was really the linchpin for both of their stories, and it wouldn’t make sense not to have hers.”

Giving Walter, Esther and Sylvia their own chapters makes Farewell Amor a stronger film than if it had followed a singular, traditional protagonist. Extreme conservatism in one chapter is revealed as a desire to avoid pain in another; one character’s cramped living room is another’s space to dance freely. Writing on Letterboxd, Tabby points out how the three-part narrative structure grants meaningful subjectivity to characters who deserve it: “It’s so easy for Westernized perspectives to steamroll over films that deal in cultural disparities and thematics, but Farewell Amor takes important steps in showing all sides of the story,” she writes. “It was refreshing to see [the characters] each given the space to exist.”

This layering of voices happens in the camerawork, too. Each section of the narrative is marked with a visual language of its own, complete with specific color palettes and cinematographic techniques. Msangi thinks fondly about the work she put in with cinematographer Bruce Francis Cole to make the chapters distinct. “For Walter’s, it’s sort of a slow cinema, where there’s a lot of still framing. It’s almost like he’s stuck, you know? Stuck in the frame between two surfaces, two hard surfaces, a window frame, a door frame. And in Sylvia’s, we wanted to have it reflect her livelihood, her restlessness. All handheld cameras, all movement. And then for Esther, she’s very observant. She’s been taking everything in, almost in an investigative style, but also a little bit romantic. She’s romanticized this setup, so a lot of close shots, a lot of soft lighting.”

Jayme Lawson as Sylvia in ‘Farewell Amor’. / Photo courtesy IFC Films

Music gives Farewell Amor a cohesion across the different storylines. “Music is, for these characters in particular, and for me, kind of a third language,” Msangi says. “It gives you a glimpse under the covers, what’s under the sheets.” The soundtrack underscores strong performances from Mwine, Jah and Lawson, lending depth to their quietude and vibrance to their movement. Msangi also notes how sound became a cornerstone of her collaboration with the actors: “As I was writing from different perspectives, in order to help me get into each character’s skin, I would listen to the music that they would be interested in.” She later shared these playlists with the actors, using the songs to communicate what words couldn’t.

Msangi has a good laugh as she tries to think about the major films that inspired her to become a filmmaker. “You know, I don’t have that. Well, I do have that, but not for the reasons that most of my film peers have,” she says. Growing up in East Africa in the ’80s and ’90s, little to none of the programming on television was local. What did kids watch instead? “We watched Rambo for probably ten years straight, and then Rambo knockoffs for another ten years after that. I decided to become a filmmaker because of horrible Rambo knockoff films.”

“I grew up surrounded by such colorful and delightful and interesting and funny people,” Msangi says. “And none of that was reflected anywhere in the media.” As she grew older, she sought out African films she couldn’t access in her youth. Now, they’re some of her highest recommendations. Ousmane Sembène is the first African director whose filmography she ever got the chance to dive into. Sembène’s 50-year career has garnered him the affectionate title of ‘Father of African film’ among many critics and scholars, who laud him for his dramas, including Black Girl and Camp de Thiaroye. Msangi, however, finds herself taken with his unique sense of humor. She has also been inspired by Safi Faye, another Senegalese director, who became the first sub-Saharan African woman to attain commercial distribution in 1975—and whose film Mossane portrays sexual intimacy with an openness Msangi hadn’t seen elsewhere.

Writer-director Ekwa Msangi. / Photo courtesy IFC Films

In Farewell Amor, Sylvia’s chapter reads like a compacted coming-of-age film. Msangi points to South African director Darrell James Roodt’s Sarafina! as an influence in that regard. “It was showing for two weeks in Nairobi, and I lined up for four hours to watch,” she says about the film, a drama about youth involvement in the 1976 Soweto uprising. “Even though it’s from a different part of the continent, I’d never seen young African teenagers on a screen before.” More recently, she has loved 2011 TIFF breakout and Oscar contender Death for Sale by Moroccan director Faouzi Bensaïdi, and Radha Blank’s The Forty-Year-Old Version is her favorite film of 2020. She’s hopeful about the future of Black American cinema: Ava DuVernay and Ryan Coogler are two of her favorite working directors.

Msangi’s selections are wide in range, but there’s still one thing holding them together: themes of vulnerability, community and celebration of identity, across different decades and genres. In fact, her approach to watching movies isn’t far off from the way she made her own—Farewell Amor maps concurrent experiences of disparate people, and Msangi’s tastes seem driven by the same balance of vastness and specificity.

“I’m a filmmaker who really abhors working on the same kind of story over and over again, the same genre, the same kinds of characters,” she says. “So I’m not going to make my career just telling stories about immigrants or about, you know, their wretched troubles,” she laughs. “I don’t want to do that.”

Msangi’s next project will be an African-American period piece; beyond that, she hopes to make films in several locations: the Caribbean, Europe and all over the African continent. “I really would like to just have a lot of fun with my career. You know? Because it’s a fun and magical industry that we work in! The work that we do in creating these stories and hopes and dreams—we create magic, so it should be fun.”

Related content

Adam Davie’s Black Life on Film list

Shachar’s 20 Films by Black Directors 2021 Challenge

Screenpaige’s list of Black Women in Film

Follow Selome on Letterboxd

‘Farewell Amor’ is out now in select theaters and on demand through IFC.

Where’s Ace Attorney 7?

A few days ago it was the third anniversary of the most recent Ace Attorney game, Dai Gyakuten Saiban 2- which means we’re going through a 36-month hiatus; longer than any we’ve had before, excluding the gap between Trials & Tribulations and Apollo Justice.

So what gives? Why haven’t we seen AA7 yet? Will we ever see it in the future, or is the franchise dead? 

Well, I have a few theories for the first question, and some evidence concerning the second. This will probably get long, so I’ll put it under a cut.

Why is this hiatus so long?

Theory #1: Difficulties in porting the franchise to Switch

Ace Attorney has been on handhelds for its whole lifespan, so the sudden change to consoles may be slightly problematic in terms of gameplay- forensic evidence mechanics, the loss of a touchscreen, etc. The problem with this theory is that by all (w)rights, it should already be resolved; a port of the Trilogy already came to consoles last year, fingerprinting and all, and it worked just fine. It’s possible that creating a new AA game from scratch is difficult in its own way, and/or producing games for multiple platforms takes longer, but it doesn’t account for such a long delay.

Then again, Switch games might just take longer to make. I’d rather have a well-crafted AA game every three years than a rushed/poorly-made one every year.

  Theory #2: Difficulties in finding a new director for the franchise

As most people know, Yamazaki, the director for the AAI duology, AA5, and AA6, left Capcom about a month ago. However, he said all the way back when SoJ was released that he only really stayed as AA’s director because of the fans, and also had Fuse, the games’ artist, step up as co-director for SoJ.

Takumi, the original trilogy/Apollo Justice/DGS writer and director, should theoretically have been available since 2018, but he has stated that he’s done with Phoenix’s story, and given that his last games haven’t sold very well (more because of marketing and bad timing than any flaws in the games, but I digress) it’s not guaranteed that he will return for AA7. Maybe if he does, we’ll get some answers to the many loose ends and questions left by AA4, but given that Apollo’s relocated to Khura’in as of the end of AA6, that’s not guaranteed either.

This leaves the only other candidate, co-director of SoJ Takuro Fuse. Personally I think his involvement as a full-on director in the future is quite likely, for reasons I’ll explain later.

  Theory #3: We were supposed to get a game in 2019

This is just a pet theory of mine, but hear me out.

Dai Gyakuten Saiban was originally supposed to be a trilogy of games, until the Switch absolutely flattened the 3DS as the definitive Nintendo handheld, and Takumi decided to compress the remaining two games into just DGS2. This is why the third-case culprit and twists in DGS2 feel so sudden; the culprit was supposed to appear all throughout DGS2, and be arrested at the end, with DGS2-3’s big twist as a finale cliffhanger. DGS3 would have then completed the story.

My point is that DGS3 was likely slated for a 2019 release, given the release pattern of DGS (2015) and DGS2 (2017). That would have lessened the current three-year hiatus to just a two-year one, more standard for the AA franchise.

  Theory #4: The franchise is dead, there are no plans for more games.

I find this difficult to believe given that Capcom is still creating content, running café promotions, releasing ports, and has stated plans for more AA games in the past, but I have to acknowledge the possibility.

Is Ace Attorney 7 coming soon?

After the 2018 Kotaku UK rumour (suggesting that ports of all six games and a new game were going to be released on the Switch by the end of 2018’s fiscal year) was disproven, I almost lost hope for any future AA games- but this year, there’s been a lot to suggest something’s coming soon.

1.       The July 2020 Café

This one pretty much explains itself. If Capcom has decided to put money towards a café feature that promotes both the Trilogy and Apollo Justice- with Klavier and Apollo both featuring prominently on the café’s menu and in its merchandise- it stands to reason that they’re doing something with it. You don’t promote a franchise if there’s nothing to promote, after all.

2.       The Café Art

So, remember two months ago when Ace Attorney dropped this new official art of Phoenix, Edgeworth, Maya, Apollo and Klavier, and the fandom lost their shit to the point of Ace Attorney trending on tumblr for about half an hour? Well, what I personally found most interesting was the style of the piece- because it was new. A quick scroll through Capcom Café’s twitter proved that as far as I can tell, when non-chibi art is called for, the official artists of the brand in question are the ones to draw the art. So who drew this one?! I could rule out Iwamoto, Fuse, Suekane and Nuri by their styles (Apollo especially looks quite unfamiliar)- so unless there’s someone I’ve forgotten, it seems like there’s a new Ace Attorney official artist.

And, well… they don’t hire new artists for fun. This artist, whoever they are, probably weren’t hired for a one-time café promotion either; as far as I know, most of the old AA artists are still working at Capcom. They’re probably doing something for the franchise.

Remember when I said Fuse, AA5/6’s art director, was a candidate for full time director? My personal theory is that he’s become the main director, and this new artist has taken his role as art director. It’s all speculation, of course, but it stands up to scrutiny.

3.       Capcom X B-Side Label Maya Acrylic

Capcom have also had a recent merch collab with B-Side Label, and a certain merch image of Maya stood out to me… because it’s an entirely new design.

I could understand if it was only a discrepancy in the fact that she has four necklace beads while appearing to be an adult, or that she has arm guards but lacks an under-robe; they’re minor details. But to leave out her topknot, one of the most distinctive parts of her design?! Either the artist made a major mistake and no one called them up on it, or it was intentional- that this is a design meant to be an older and wiser Maya, who we’ll see in an upcoming game. I wouldn’t be surprised.

4.       The 20th Anniversary

This is more of a meta point than anything else, but it’ll soon be 2021, the twentieth anniversary of Ace Attorney. AA is usually very good with anniversaries; in 2011 (10th anniversary) we got Investigations 2, and in 2016 (15th anniversary) we got both SoJ and an AA anime. I think if they’re ever going to release AA7, they’ll do it next year: at the very least, we’ll have another orchestra and more official art. And with TGS 2020 hosted online and fast approaching, I’m hoping for news very soon!

Either way, the future of Ace Attorney isn’t as dark as it seems! Keep your hopes up!

The Development of the Zelda Oracle Games

Sweet Bit Gaming Mysteries: The Legend of Zelda The Seed of Courage

The Legend of Zelda Oracle series of games is often overlooked when it comes to focusing on the franchise as a whole. Certainly, there are more popular handheld Zelda games out there than the aforementioned pair; however, what if the entire concept for these games was fully realized? What if the trilogy Nintendo had promised fans was a reality and not just the topic of the day? Within this article, I’ll go over the development of the Oracle games. From many name changes to cut storyline ideas, this is the history of the Legend of Zelda the Oracle games. 

Some of the earliest information out there in regards to the Triforce Series of games came to the public on July 28th, 1999 within an article published by IGN. IGN would state that Nintendo is “hard at work” on six different Zelda Gameboy Color titles. Within the article, it mentions that four of the new Zelda titles were being produced in conjunction with the Japanese design studio Flagship. This development studio was headed by Resident Evil lead Yoshiki Okamoto. Okamoto had revealed earlier in the year that Flagship would be working closely with Nintendo’s EAD team in regard to future titles on the Gameboy Color. Within this same interview, Okamoto would also reveal that Flagship’s work was restricted to the design of scenarios and storylines. While not much information was given, this “leak” would take place roughly a month before Nintendo’s Space World 1999 event was set to take place.

Any hope for the public to demo the game was seemingly heightened by an IGN web article published on August 20th, 1999. Their source of information would be cited as Weekly Famitsu. IGN within the headlines were promoting they were the first to have screenshots of the upcoming Game Boy Color exclusive Zelda game. This article was published roughly a week prior to Nintendo’s Space World 1999 event, which took place on August 27th-August 29th of that year. The game at the time was believed to be called The Legend of Zelda: The Mysterious Acorn and was also cited as being published by Capcom and Nintendo.

In the preview of the game within the article, IGN would mention that Princess Zelda was managing the four seasons within the Land of Hyrule. Zelda would be kidnapped by Ganon and it would be up to Link to manage the Rod of the Four Seasons and track down the eight pieces of the Triforce to save Princess Zelda and also bring balance to Hyrule. With Hyrule’s seasons becoming jumbled up, chaos would ensue and Link would have to travel between Hyrule and this “other dimension” while being guided by spirits residing in the “Tree of Mystery” and also a strange “Uura Tribe” which would be found in this alternate dimension.

Ricky the Kangaroo and Maple the Witch were mentioned briefly within this article as well. Not much information was given on these characters other than they would be allies to help aid Link in his quest to save Princess Zelda.  Also mentioned were more details about the Rod of Four Seasons and how it would be required to solve certain elemental puzzles throughout the game. Possibly the most infamous amount of information detailed within this article is the mention of the Link System and how there would be three upcoming Zelda Gameboy Color games and they would all be a coherent story without getting lost within each other due to the Link System that Capcom and Nintendo were developing. 

With Space World 1999 taking place, a lot of hype and media focus was still latched onto the Nintendo 64 DD, another story within itself. Zelda Gaiden, later to be renamed The Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask was also playable at this event. Demo copies of The Seed of Courage were also seemingly playable at this event. An interview would be conducted with Miyamoto by Nintendo Power Source and Miyamoto would give more detail and insight on Zelda Gaiden and the recently renamed The Legend of Zelda: Mysterious Fruit.

Q: After hearing rumors of Ura Zelda for Nintendo 64 Disk Drive, Zelda Gaiden for the Nintendo 64 cartridge format was a pleasant surprise. Can you tell me how these two games came to be developed?

A: We are working on two follow-ups to The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. "Ura Zelda" uses the same system as Ocarina of Time but uses the 64DD to add game data. The story in "Ura Zelda" will be similar to Ocarina of Time but with new maps and scenarios. Zelda Gaiden, on the other hand, is a completely different game, although it too uses essentially the same game system as Ocarina of Time. Everyone has enjoyed the Zelda series but there's typically at least a 3 year wait between sequels! People who are in Junior High School when they play one Zelda game would be in High School by time the next game comes out, and those in High School will graduate before the next game came out! So, we wanted to make a new game in the series sooner. "Ura Zelda" will use the existing Ocarina of Time cartridge but with different dungeons, and new locations for the treasures. Since the 64DD media is cheaper than a new cartridge, this is an inexpensive way to make a sequel. We may also consider using network technology for "Ura Zelda." Right now, most of the staff is concentrating on Zelda Gaiden.

Q: How involved are you with the different Zelda games?

A: As time goes on, my direct involvement has become less. On the first Zelda, my involvement in directing the game was, say, 100%. With Ocarina of Time, my involvement was about 60%. For Zelda Gaiden, it will be about 20% and for Zelda: Mysterious Fruit for Game Boy, only about 10%. Until Ocarina, I was the Producer and Director of the game-not of everything but some parts. For Zelda Gaiden I will be in a Producer role. In that capacity, I'll decide the overall direction of the game, but I won't write the actual specifications myself. If Zelda Gaiden turns out to be fun to play, from now on we'll see new entries into the Zelda series with shorter time intervals in between. And, I'll probably have less direct involvement in the games. I've been saying all along that I have a lot of confidence in my teams, and I think they will make some good games.

Q: What kinds of things do you do as a Producer?

A: I just tell the staff members what kind of game it should be. The staff then figures out the details of the scenarios. So far, we've had thee big meetings to reviews the game's scenarios. As Producer I approve and disapprove of ideas in these meetings. Mainly I say things like, "If you try to go in this direction, you will never finish the game!" I help set the development priorities, and make staff recommendations. Q: So, what are some of the overall directions you have given to your game developments teams on Zelda Gaiden? What are some of the things that you want the players to experience in this game? A: I had several ideas that I wanted to incorporate into Ocarina of Time but that didn't make it. I've already given those to the staff. In Zelda Gaiden, players will meet some characters that they previously encountered in Ocarina of Time. There were many characters in Ocarina of Time who were in the background-- those characters will be more involved in the story of Zelda Gaiden. You'll talk to them more, and in the end you'll feel a deeper connection to the story of Ocarina of Time. Another thing we want to work on is time in the game. In so many games, you have, for example, eight dungeons. Finish four of them, and you're halfway through. You can guess how far you have to go. But that's not the true nature of interactive entertainment-it shouldn't be like reading a book and knowing you're halfway through it. That's not just something we're working on for Zelda Gaiden, we need to improve this for all of our games. The beauty of interactive media is it is different from other types of media, so we need to concentrate on those differences. Finally, we really want Zelda players to come away from this game feeling that they've played something totally unexpected. Q: In Zelda Gaiden, the moon is slowly falling towards the planet, and the player has a limited amount of time to save the world before it is destroyed. So how does the time limit in the game work? A: What can I tell you….hmmm. There are certain time limits in the game, but, you can play it again and again. If you don't do something in one game, you can try to do it in the next game. The amount of different things you actually do in the game will depend on the player's ability. This isn't a totally unique concept, but we do want to try something new with game time in Zelda Gaiden. To do that we are working on improving the "density" of the world. For example, say you have three days of game time. We are trying to see how many different events we can fit into those three days. That is why we need the Expansion Pak for this game-to keep track of all the events that are happening simultaneously in the world. Q: So the world actually exists and different things happen in real-time, even if you're not there to see them. OK, how about the masks? How many different ones do you think will be in the game? It looks like there is space for a lot of them on the Subscreen! A: There are three main masks-these are the only ones that make you actually change, or morph, into something different. Several other masks will have "human" like faces, and will be necessary to trigger certain events. You can use these masks to disguise yourself as different people. As for the actual final number of masks in the game, that will depend on time. I'm aiming for just under 30 different masks, but that depends on how long things take to develop.Q: You mentioned that the story in Zelda Gaiden will be closely connected to Ocarina of Time. How about the Running Man-will you finally be able to beat him?

A: Maybe you didn't see him in the Space World version, but there is a Running Man who is four times taller than the one in Ocarina of Time! We are experimenting with this character to see if we can make him interesting and fun. Did you see the dogs? In Ocarina of Time, they would follow you. In Zelda Gaiden, their reaction will vary. When you morph into a Goron, they will bark at you and run away. As a Zora, they will approach you. Don't try to become a Deku Scrub if there are dogs around, though! They will try to bite you! Q: What about the other fairy that is shown with Navi in the introductory cinema scenes? A: I don't know, I need to ask the staff about that! I have a feeling it's going to be an important character! Q: Things are busy on the Zelda front with the Zelda games for Game Boy Color that Capcom is developing. How did that deal come about? What is the plan for these three titles? A: Well, it's the same situation as when our team develops a Zelda game-the quality has to be high. Mr. Okamoto (head of development at Capcom) is a young and energetic game developer who says he came into the industry because of games like the original Donkey Kong and Zelda. He came to me and was very serious about developing a Zelda game. He has great teams of developers and he promised to use his best people on this project. A company called Flagship has 20 or so people who are working on the scenarios. Some people have asked me if this means Nintendo will be allowing other companies to develop games using our characters. But this is a very special case. I felt good about Mr. Okamoto and his team. We're not going to be letting everyone work on our characters. We'll be checking the quality of these three titles. Q: What is the connection between the three titles?

A: This project originally started to convert the original NES Zelda to Game Boy Color. So one of the titles will be a perfect conversion of NES Zelda. However, in working on this game, we have come up with a lot of new ideas, so there will be some new features. Basically I can tell you that there is a connection between the three tales. You can start with any one of them, but if you play them in a different order than someone else, the two player's games will be different....

 In January of 2000 IGN would publish an article stating that a new Zelda game was planned to be released every six weeks. The first of these Gameboy releases in the “Tri-force Series” was set to be The Legend of Zelda: The Mysterious Acorn: The Tale of Power. After this initial release The Legend of Zelda: The Tale of Wisdom was set to be released and then the trilogy would conclude with The Legend of Zelda: The Tale of Courage. These games were also mentioned within this article to have the capability to link up with each other and exchange data. Miyamoto would do an interview with IGN on May 11th and state that the games would link up using a “password system.” No other details were given about the games during this interview.

By May 13th Nintendo would officially release some promotional images in regards to the Tri-force series games which were now titled: The Legend of Zelda: Mythical Seed of Power, Zelda, Mythical Seed of Courage, and Zelda Mythical Seed of Wisdom. Also on May 13th, IGN would conduct another interview with Miyamoto about the Triforce Series games and Miyamoto would disclose:

IGNpocket: What is your opinion on the Legend of Zelda trilogy in the works for Game Boy Color?

Miyamoto: Mr. Okomoto from Capcom is the producer on the games for the Game Boy Color, and he has been giving me the materials for the games. And what we have now is the games are becoming late, especially because of the "link system". With the link system, we're thinking about letting the gamer play whatever game first, and what happens in one game affects another game. And with that, the variable scenario is just increasing the work, and that's why we are late in schedule. But we can release the games later this year.

IGNpocket: How does the link system interface work?

Miyamoto: Well, for example, there are similar events in all cartridges. So if you've already finished one event on one cartridge, it makes the quest in another cartridge a little easier. Another example is if you find a specific item in one cartridge, then something special will happen on another cartridge.

IGNpocket: But how does that information get from one cartridge to the other?

Miyamoto: Password system.

By July 24th, Nintendo of Japan would decide to cut one of the games out of the Triforce Trilogy. It was reported that this was due to numerous delays and difficulties getting the link system to work properly. This was an effort to still have the other two games out by Christmas of 2000. Nintendo within this press release didn’t mention which game was on the cutting room floor. Nintendo of America hadn’t commented on the cancellation of the game at the time and it was unclear if the two remaining games would still be released six weeks apart from each other.  By October 20th the concept within the unique release schedule was scrapped and rumors were abundant on IGN that the games would release sometime in January of 2001 in Japan.

By November 9th, IGN would report a brief “Chapter” of the latest Zelda game, now being titled The Legend of Zelda Chapter of Time and Space. This is the game that had been covered mostly in American publications through screenshots and leaked information while the remaining Gameboy Color game would go without much new information being provided. This other game in development would be rumored to go by the name The Legend of Zelda: Chapter of the Earth. It was suggested that this game would play much like the other Gameboy Color game and a link system was still set in place for the two games.  By January of 2001, more information would be released by IGN in regards to the Chapter of the Earth title. This article would feature screenshots and storyline concepts for the upcoming games. By the end of the article, it was mentioned that the two games would be released in February and a potential American release date was planned before the start of Summer.

In an article published by Nintendo of Japan on their Director Interview series, Hidemaro Fujibayashi would be interviewed and give details on the origins of Capcom becoming involved with Zelda on the Gameboy Color.  Here is that interview:

t seems that you first started making Zelda with Capcom.

Fujibayashi　Yes. At first, it seems that my Okamoto  (Yoshiki Okamoto, managing director) had proposed to Shigeru Miyamoto,  "I want to make Zelda with Capcom." That was about two years  ago. After that, a free man started making 2D games based on the Famicom  Disk System "The Legend of Zelda". The concept is to convey  the goodness of Zelda in the NES era to children today.

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■ Was Mr. Fujibayashi also a Zelda  fan?

Fujibayashi　Yes, when it came to the Famicom Disk System, I  went to a toy store first to buy it. I remember squeezing New Year's  gifts and running to buy them.

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■ Did Mr. Fujibayashi participate  in the project from the beginning?

Fujibayashi At　first, I participated in the form of a clerk  who summarized the overall opinions. At that time, I was only told about  the concept, but gradually I became involved in the game production  itself. First of all, I decided to give a presentation to Mr. Miyamoto,  so I wrote a proposal based on Okamoto's concept.

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■ Was the content of the game  decided at the time of the proposal?

Fujibayashi　Almost the pillars of the current game have  been decided. In other words, it should be released as a Color Game Boy,  use the four seasons, and retain the taste of 2D Zelda. It was decided  that it would be released in a series of works, so I thought of a link system  as an idea to make use of it. For example, if I missed a bad guy in the  first game, I wanted to make the software so that the bad guy would appear in  the other game. Since Zelda is a game with a solid view of the world, I  thought that even a Game Boy could fully bring out the "living feeling"  of the characters expressed in the 64 series.

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■ How was Mr. Miyamoto's reaction?

It　was  your first time to meet Mr. Fujibayashi Miyamoto. I  went to a presentation with Okamoto, but it was my first time to work  directly with Okamoto, and I was thrilled because I was going to meet a  famous person from another company. While explaining the proposal, Mr.  Miyamoto was silent from beginning to end, so I was nervous. But when I  finished reading, I was told, "I was thinking of going into it because  there would be various holes, but it looks like it's done." I liked  it, "I think it's good."

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■ After that, do you work at  Capcom?

Fujibayashi　That's right. After that, I proceeded with  the scenario while reporting the situation to Okamoto. As a role, I am a  director and planner.

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■ I heard that Capcom games create  scenarios first.

Fujibayashi　Yes. However, I think that the scenario came  out in the Zelda series after the hardware specifications went  up. Originally, Zelda in the early days was a pure action RPG, and there  wasn't much talk about it. This time, I was hoping that the two could be  fused. However, at first I was supposed to make a work that was one  tenth of the current volume. However, as I made it, it got bigger and  bigger, and it gradually became my own work.

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■ Did you make "Chapter of  the Earth" and "Chapter of Space and Time" by different teams?

Fujibayashi　No, the same team made them in order. At  first, I was interacting with the scenario team alone. So, while I was  making the scenario, I secretly talked to the graphic artists and programmers  who thought "I like it" in Capcom. Such personnel were  actually decided by Funamizu (Producer Noritaka Funamizu), who reports  directly to me, but I thought it would be better for me to consult with him  first. I was angry at Funamizu, saying, "It's my job," but I  was able to get the staff I wanted.

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■ After that, I think it's the  work of actually making a game, but please tell me the procedure easily.

Fujibayashi At　first, I'll start with an image. After  thinking about what kind of terrain it is, start making a map. After  making it roughly, I thought about the character next. We will modify  the scenario while making the game.

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■ Do you sometimes rewrite the  entire field?

Fujibayashi　That's every day. If you actually move it  and think it's different, fix it. When about 60% of the total was  completed, Mr. Yamada of Nintendo participated as a supervisor. From  that time on, I had the opportunity to hear Mr. Miyamoto's story. So I  absorbed something like Mr. Miyamoto's view of Zelda.

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■ Are there any interesting  episodes about the joint development with Nintendo?

Fujibayashi I　was playing Nintendo games and thought that  every game had a common scent. When I met Mr. Miyamoto, it became clear  that there was a way to make sense in the game that Mr. Miyamoto  thinks. It was a great learning experience for our team to get  it. After that, Mr. Yamada and his colleagues ask the character that we  casually placed, "What is the name of this  character?" Certainly, giving a name brings the character to life  and makes the staff feel different. It seemed as simple as "give a  name", and the important thing was that I was surprised. That's  just one example, but I feel like I was taught the know-how of Nintendo's  "making warm games." What I was most happy about was that both  Mr. Yamada and Mr. Miyamoto treated me as if I were an employee of  Nintendo. Rather than Nintendo or Capcom, he talked to me as a staff  member who made games together. In the end, I think that kind of  personality is reflected in Zelda.

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■ At the same time, I think this  is a game that has a Capcom feel to it.

Fujibayashi It's　more about the individuality of Capcom's Zelda  team than it is about Capcom. I tried to make the world view interesting  with a slightly dark character. What is the difference between Kyoto and  Osaka? The place where a little outlaw character appears may be  Capcom-like. However, I don't think there is any difference in the  system in the game.

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■ Please tell me if there is a  story behind this.

Fujibayashi In　"Chapter of Time  and Space", there is a tower called "Tower of Darkness",  and there are people working there, but there are lines that say "I  can't finish my charge" and "I can't go home". Some of  our team couldn't go home (laughs), so I put them in a parody. However,  we are a very homely team, so I was happy with the Nori. The person who  came to give the message was involved in the meeting and talked for about 2  hours.

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■ That kind of homely atmosphere  may be oozing out in the game. Then, what are the highlights of  "Mysterious Tree Fruit" from Mr. Fujibayashi's point of view?

Fujibayashi　This time, Zelda was created with the  individuality of the entire team. The highlights are the many events and  mini-games, and the dungeon gimmicks. I thought about various big tricks  that Game Boy can do. The ideas of all the staff are included, and I  think it's quite full.

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■ What do you recommend for the  link system?

Fujibayashi If　you play the two software as a continuation of  the story using "Aikotoba", you can enjoy a deeper view of the  world. You can also experience the true ending after the story is  over. There will be new characters and there will be many events, so  please give it a try.

 On May 14th, 2001 both of the games, now titled the Oracle series, would release here in America. The games would receive positive reviews and critical praise for the link system that Nintendo and Capcom had developed. Over the years, the games have seemingly faded out of the minds of Zelda fans. Only hopes and rumors of potential remakes are the only true discussion these games draw these days. The concept within the trilogy of games was very similar to Ura Zelda to where Miyamoto wanted what was done in one game to affect that area in the other game. Also, did Majora's Mask overshadow these games? The development of these games runs parallel with each other and Majora's Mask is a beloved game within the Zelda community. Here's to remakes of these games happening on the Switch here in the near future. 

Medea’s Worst Year of All-Time Anime/Game Superlative

Nobody saw this year coming…except for maybe Barbara Walters! Who could have predicted that this year would bless us with Australia burning, the entire west coast of the U.S. set on fire, stupid people setting fires because they wanted to reveal a baby’s gender, murder hornets, Ruth Bader Ginsburg dying, an almost war with Iran, serial killer mascots arrested, policemen killing unarmed black folks for having a counterfit $20, policemen killing unarmed black folks for breaking up a fight, policemen killing black folks for holding sandwiches, policemen killing unarmed black folks for fucking sleeping, a wide variety of “Karens” coming out of the woodworks, the end of Bojack, the end of Steven Universe, the end of Empire, and a pandemic so huge it’s killed the economy, canceled fun, and given the U.S. president the dumb-fuck idea of injecting bleach to kill the virus!?

SERIOUSLY, WHO COULD HAVE PREDICTED ALL OF THIS WAS GOING TO FALL IN OUR LAPS LIKE HOT COFFEE ON THE CROTCH?!

At least there was anime this year.

…

At least there was SOME anime this year.

…

Biden won the election and Vickeblanca came out with Black Catcher this year.

Hey internet, it’s Medea here to give you her trashy opinion on this years anime and games that she’s watched or played. Because for some reason, my loser-ass loves to do out-dated as fuck memes! I shouldn’t complain, this shit brings a lot of attention to my page every year when I do this. Yes, 2020 was a complete dumpster fire so large that Domestic Girlfriend is crying foul. Many of us had to go on lockdown and ended up binge-watching the entire 957+ episodes of One Piece. I did no such thing. I am one of those “essential workers” so I didn’t hunker down for 9 months straight. But when I was home, I was watching anime. Actually, I would have done that even without the pandemic. I’m an introvert and find the human race to be deplorable.

You all know how this goes. I go over the best this year had to offer me. I had to search really hard to find the good in this year, especially in the anime world. Many things had to be put on hiatus or were delayed to a later date. Just a reminder, I don’t discriminate in what year the anime or game came out. If something came out in the happier times of 2007, that anime or game counts! Let’s get at it!

First Fandom of 2020: Interspecies Reviewers

Did anyone expect a fan-favorite of 2020 was going to be a hentai? Did anyone have on their batshit 2020 bingo card that a hentai was going to grab everybody’s attention? At the beginning of the year, my mind was set on the Railgun sequel and Eizoken. It wasn’t until licensors, streaming sites, and TV stations in Japan dropped this series that I started to pay attention. And got immediately hooked! It’s about three men going to different brothels and reviewing their time with the ladies. And these ladies are of different species! So with every bang comes possible enlightenment, new kinks, or a night of having your dick sucked off more than humanly possible. This anime blew away all of my skepticism and first impressions right out the window. Maybe it’s because I’m a degenerate and am often curious about sexual content, but this was a guilty pleasure of mine this year.

Favorite Main Character of 2020: Moroha from Yashahime

I know the majority of this story is going to revolve around Towa and Setsuna, but can we please focus a little more energy on the spunky, quarter-demon girl?! I know they’re pitting Moroha as the comic relief, but I’m hopeful that she’s going to surprise us one day. We fans of InuYasha would spend the past decade and some change wondering what InuYasha and Kagome’s daughter would be like. This year, we got our answer with Moroha. She’s got this wild side to her, probably due to the fact that she’s spent her entire life on her own. And while she’s silly at times, she can get down to business in a pinch. She has her father’s sense of smell. She has a sword. She’s able to shoot sacred arrows much like her mother. And to top it all off, she has this special rouge that if she puts it on, she’s able to unleash that ¼ demon power inside her and become Beniyasha! Yeah, I know the power only lasts a minute, she’s only 14, give her a break! I will gladly go through another week scratching my head at the confusion this story gives me if I get to see one more second of Moroha and her crazy antics or her bad-ass slaying.

Favorite Villain of 2020: The Devil Believers from Black Clover

This was one hell of a year for Black Clover. It would have been an easy choice to pick the devil and possible super devil that appeared during the elf fight. But I’d like to give a nod to the filler arc villains. And you can’t blame this group for wanting the power of the devil. They’re literally the bottom-rung of the Clover Kingdom and ones with little to no power or mana. So I can agree with why they would want the power of the devil. For one thing, they’d have more power. And for another thing, they’d be able to exact revenge on those who have wronged them. On some occasions I agree with exacting revenge and when it comes to the nobles and some characters in Black Clover, some folks do deserve death. I mean, have you met the king of the Clover Kingdom? Plus, this town and many other poorer towns get looked over by the kingdom. Peasant uprise! Anyways, I thought these people were really crafty in their crimes. I mean, they were able to knock Asta out on his ass with specially made poisons. I was actually hooked to this story of Black Clover (despite it being a filler arc). I know we’ll never see them again as they have been exiled, but it did have me semi-rooting for them.

Favorite Video Game Character of 2020: Honey from Pokemon – Sword & Shield (Expansion Pass)

Sorry Raymond from Animal Crossing!

Honey is the saucy wife of Mustard…I did not expect that to come out the way it did, but here we are! She has one hell of a team you can fight once a day. She looks out for her husband, the dojo, and the students of the dojo like they were her own children by providing food, drinks, and others. However that does come at a price as you do have to give up a sizable chunk of your watts that you collect in raid dens. I’m sure a bunch of MILF chasers were more than happy enough to give her all their hard-earned watts just so they can have their one-on-one moment on the beach with Honey.

What won me over was when that one guy from a rival dojo bad-mouthed her husband’s dojo and she…I think she kicked this guy’s ass herself. I don’t think she used any of her pokemon. Game Freak won’t show it, but we all know she kicked this guy’s ass to a point where he’s begging for mercy.

Honey, for the win!

Favorite Game of 2020: Animal Crossing New Horizons

This game was just Zen for me. I know the release of this game came with some controversy like Gamestop saying it’s an essential business and will remain open for people to get their copies of the game. Hell, I was one of those assholes in line waiting to get a copy on March 20th. Did I predict that a pandemic was going to rage out of control when I got a prepay copy of this for Christmas 2019? NO! I only predict political things, not deadly pandemics! The good news, we social distanced, didn’t catch the covid and got the game.

Anyways, this game has been a non-stop calming and fun ride. I can even forgive their botch-up of Bunny Day. They even have events for holidays I never thought they would ever touch. I mean, does anybody know when Museum Day is? Probably not until Animal Crossing had an event for it! I’ve been able to let my freak-flag fly with designing my island. And this goes way beyond New Leaf for the 3DS. I can make a sign post with the words “Fuck Trump” on it and post it in my yard. I can dig up trees and plant them elsewhere. I can poop in a toilet. I can craft furniture and put my own design on it. My furniture can have Tracey Sketchit’s beautiful mug on it. I can sit on Tracey Sketchit’s face. I am a sick fuck and I don’t care. I can give Raymond and Bob maid outfits. Magical time in my game! My hopes for next year…I don’t know, get the Festivale furniture, get Papi and Olivia to join my island, maybe visit Danny Trejo’s island, who knows, sky’s da limit!

Favorite Het Couple of 2020: Nasa and Tsukasa Yuzaki from Tonikawa

This is one of the most unorthodox marriages I’ve ever seen. But in this 90 Day Fiance world we’re living in, I shouldn’t pass judgement on these two getting married in episode one and not knowing much about each other. Nasa meets Tsukasa as he was about to be plowed by a truck. Tsukasa saves his life. Nasa says she’s beautiful. Tsukasa says she’ll be his girlfriend if they get married. He agrees. She disappears. Four years later, Tsukasa appears in front of Nasa’s front door with a marriage registration form. Congratulations buddy, you’ve got yourself a waifu! In some way, this felt like watching Yamato and Takeo from My Love Story. I was fascinated with them progressing through their relationship. The only difference is that Yamato and Takeo took the old-fashioned route. This couple did everything ass-backwards in terms of having a relationship. But I couldn’t take my eyes off Nasa and Tsukasa’s relationship during each episode. I find them cute.

Favorite Yuri Couple of 2020: Karin Asaka x Emma Verde from Love Live Nijigasaki High School Idol Club

AAAAAAAAAH! I’M IN IDOL HELL AGAIN! Yeah, no kidding! I came this close to putting Miu x Nicole from that abomination 22/7. But thank God for Love Live! There’s no telling if any of the girls from the Love Live franchise are confirmed to be lesbians. But fuck it, all of them attend all-girl schools, no males exist anywhere, and Sunshine gave us Kanan x Mari! Yeah, you know Kanan and Mari is canon as fuck, don’t at me. So naturally, I found more third-years to ship in the new Love Live series. Now I know I should have put up Ai x Rina or Ayumu x Yuu. Especially the latter due to recent events! But Emma x Karin is my OTP.

Now Emma is an exchange student from Switzerland and in coming to Nijigasaki, she first meets Karin and they became instant friends. When Emma said she wants to become an idol, Karin helped her quite a bit. Even though Karin had no interest in being an idol as her modeling career is starting up, Karin would occasionally help Emma out. And surprise, surprise, Karin ends up fascinated with the idol world and Emma helps her come to the light to be herself there. Okay, I’m totally reading this in some fragmented way, but I’m currently playing Love Live School Idol Festival All Stars and the app game has a lot more stuff involving stuff the anime has yet to talk about. Confirmed or not, Karin x Emma for the win!

Favorite Yaoi Couple of 2020: Eiji Okumura x Ash Lynx from Banana Fish

It took me a while to get here, but I finally made it to 2018’s overlooked gem. Forgive me for not being fully caught up, but from what I’m watching at the moment, I’m sticking to my guns and supporting the hell out of this. I mean, I could have mentioned The Titan’s Bride here…but fuck no, I ain’t goin’ down that mess! Ash has gone through a lot, I mean a helluva lot in his past. His cute boy looks have made him a target on the streets of New York, with mafia dons, and with prison inmates. But dude can kill if you mess with him. Then you have Eiji, who is just a literal example of a “pure cinnamon roll (until episode 8)”. These two are as opposite as you can possibly get. Ash is from New York and Eiji is from Japan. Ash likes hot dogs with everything on it. Eiji likes grilled fish and natto. Ash spent the majority of his life killing on the streets. Eiji was a track superstar. You get my meaning. But when we got these two together it’s quite adorable. Ash is really able to change when he’s around Eiji. Ash isn’t some heartless killer on the street about to kill a thug with prosthetic fingers. When he’s with Eiji, he’s a joker that can easily get scared of pumpkins. And even in later episodes, you got these two acting like a husband and wife.

Fandom That You Didn’t Expect to Get Into: Les Miserables – A Girl Named Cosette

Let me explain a little something. Les Mis! I have never seen the play, watched the movie, or read the novel prior to picking up this anime. Not a single one of those! And that’s a bit of a head-scratcher when you realize I was a bit of a musical theater nut in my teenage years. But one thing I do like is when Japan does an anime based on plays or historical events (like Romeo x Juliet or Rose of Versailles). The second I popped in Les Miserables the anime, I wanted to binge watch the whole 52 episode series. It is by no means a perfect adaptation of the Victor Hugo novel. Several key players end up surviving all the way up to the end of the story! But because this was my very first viewing of anything Les Mis, I took to the story of Cosette and was eager to see what was going to happen next in her tale. Unlike the movies and play, Cosette was the main focus of the story besides Jean Valjean and Javert. And thanks to watching the unfortunate stories of Cosette, Jean Valjean, the Thenadiers, Javert, Marius, and the rest, I thought it was time to watch the OTHER adaptations to Les Mis.

…

Russell Crowe sucks.

Fandom That Made An Unexpected Comeback: Higurashi no Naku Koro Ni

Higurashi or When They Cry is one of my favorite fandoms of all time! So naturally when we heard that it was making a comeback, I was excited. It was also very odd that Higurashi was given this sequel or reboot. Ahem! There’s another franchise that needs a face-lift. Umineko still deserves a better treatment. Plus, now that this series was out of the faulty hands of Studio Deen, Higurashi will get the special care it deserves. Believe it or not, it wasn’t just the anime that made a comeback for me, but the manga as well. Since 2009, I’ve read several volumes (out of order) and would every now and then come back to read the story. Back to the anime, this reboot or sequel…you know what, I’m gonna call it a “rebooqual”! This rebooqual sucked me back to the town of Hinamizawa and all the murders. Every week, I find myself comparing the current episode to one from the 2006 version. But then the fourth episode of each arc seems to catch me off guard.

Where are they going with this story and these twist endings to our favorite arcs? I did not expect Rena to turn a simple attempted murder into the end of School Days! I didn’t expect Rika to die in the most disgusting fashion they could think of. Could someone kill Teppei fucking Hojo? I will pay ¥5000 for someone to do that job. So yeah, because I know how much of this plays out and who does what, I’m usually watching and reading while making wise-ass remarks. But I still have fun with it.

Fandom That Inspired the Most Crack: Konosuba

In a year where I caught up with the popular Isekais like Shield Hero and Re:Zero, I found the wacky misadventures of Kazuma Satou to be amusing as all get-out. From the first 5 minutes, I found myself laughing at Kazuma’s misfortune. Seriously, how the fuck do you mistake a tractor for a car, have a heart attack, piss yourself, and fucking die in the first couple minutes to the series? You can only get away with this shit in gag animes! But it’s not just Kazuma’s dumbass, there’s a mage who only does explosions, but loses all her energy after one blow-up. Then there’s a busty, blonde who gets turned on by getting hurt and can’t strike anything with her sword. Anime’s biggest masochist or Cheryl Tunt incarnate, I haven’t decided which one to believe! Then you have this loud, crazy goddess chick named Aqua. She’s also useless about 86% of the time! Watching their unfortunate missions is all the crack that I need to get through this year. Seriously, Darkness is just all kinds of fucked up, but we love her.

Last Fandom of 2020: Yashahime

That’s right, the InuYasha sequel gets top spot here! Even though week after week I find myself asking more questions than when the episode started, I’m still hooked. If you’re like me, you watched and fell in love with the series InuYasha. So if they’re doing a sequel, you’re expecting to see all of your favorite characters from the prequel like InuYasha, Kagome, Miroku, Sango, Sesshomaru, Koga, Rin, and the rest. Actually, no! Quite the opposite! We’ve got Sesshomaru’s daughters, but no Sesshomaru. Rin is sleeping in a tree we think! We’ve got InuYasha and Kagome’s daughter, but they’re M.I.A. None of the girls even know a thing about their birth parents.

Now are these new characters a catch like the ones from the previous series? Some are! The three main girls, yes! Especially Moroha! I’ve already praised her name earlier in the superlative. Towa and Setsuna do take on some personality traits from their parents. Setsuna is definitely serious like Sesshomaru and Towa sometimes has a carefree yet loyal aura to her like Rin. I know I’m always skeptical when a series gives us a sequel featuring the offspring of the main characters. Especially when you’ve got some lame examples like Boruto and Eureka Seven AO (I might retract my diss on Boruto later)! As each week gives us a new episode, we’re unraveling new clues into a lot of things involving our old favorite characters, as well as the new ones. So I have high hopes for Yashahime for the time being!

Zack Snyder’s Justice League (2021) - Movie Review | SebKijk

This movie review was originally published on: https://sebkijk.nl.

Zack Snyder’s Justice League is finally here. I can joyfully say that this movie has been well worth the wait. This movie is truly amazing. Not only is this my favorite DC Comics movie since The Dark Knight, but it is also one of my favorite superhero movies of all time. I’m just going to say it. Zack Snyder’s Justice League is also one of my favorite movies of all time. It is currently my number one movie of 2021. I have to limit my enthusiasm so I don’t just type in capital letters full of joy, but nonetheless, I’m going to fervently tell you why this movie is simply epic. My thanks to Warner Home Video and Day One MPM for their cooperation and screener copy of the film.

Synopsis Zack Snyder’s Justice League

In Zack Snyder’s Justice League, we see how Bruce Wayne is determined to make sure that Superman’s ultimate self-sacrifice was not futile. That’s why he teams up with Diana Prince. Together they try to form a team of meta-humans that can protect the world from an upcoming threat of catastrophic proportions. The task proves tougher than imagined for Bruce, as each member must deal with their own demons before they can form an unparalleled team of heroes together. United, Batman, Wonder Woman, Aquaman, Cyborg and The Flash may not be up to the task of saving the planet from the cruel plans of Steppenwolf, DeSaad and Darkseid.

Snyder’s Vision

I want to take a moment to talk about the making of Zack Snyder’s Justice League. This film is the director’s cut of the 2017 American superhero film Justice League. It’s directed by Zack Snyder – duh! The film reflects the original and true vision of director Zack Snyder. Zack Snyder outlined his visionary foundation for the DC Extended Universe with his films Man of Steel (2013) and Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice(2016). Snyder’s original plan was to create a five-film arc. The films Man of Steel and BvS were to be succeeded by a Justice League trilogy. Snyder’s original vision was to show the dark and epic mythological side of superheroes.

This did not please everyone – including myself. I am not exactly a fan of Man of Steel, but I could appreciate BvS. However, I have only seen the theatrical version of this movie and not the Ultimate Cut. This ultimate version is also, according to many, the better version. After seeing Zack Snyder’s Justice League, I have also been itching to see this Ultimate Cut. Batman v Superman was mainly poorly received due to its dark tone, slow pace and lack of humor. Distributor Warner Bros. reconsidered changing the tone of the upcoming DCEU films, including the Justice League film which at the time was a month away from shooting.

Reshoots & other Difficulties

The shooting of Justice League began in April 2016 and concluded in December of that year. Months later, multiple versions of Snyder’s Justice League were shown to Warner Bros. executives. These executives considered these versions to be unwatchable. For this reason, Warner Bros. hired director Joss Whedon. Whedon had worked on superhero movies before. For example, he is the director of the Marvel Studios films The Avengers (2012) and Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015). He was hired to rewrite the script and help with extensive reshoots. CEO Kevin Tsujihara determined that Justice league should not exceed two hours in length, and Warner Bros. also decided not to push the release date. This made it more difficult for the filmmakers to finish the film properly. Zack Snyder was expected to film the scenes that Whedon rewrote.

They worked together until Zack Snyder’s daughter Autumn killed herself in 2017. Zack Snyder continued working on Justice League for two more months to distract himself, but finally stepped down in May. His wife – and producer of the film – Deborah Snyderalso left the project. Whedon took full control of the production, although Snyder retained directorial control. It is estimated that Whedon’s version used about 10% of the footage Snyder shot. Composer Tom Holkenborg was also replaced by Danny Elfmanmidway through post-production. The scenes Whedon wrote or reshot for the theatrical release had a different tone and more humor. In addition, the level of violence was reduced in Snyder’s darker direction.

#ReleasetheSnyderCut

More than 90 minutes of Snyder’s footage was removed, but the result still remained the basis of the story. Although the initial cut was poorly received by test audiences, the early screening of Whedon’s cut scored as high as the first Wonder Woman film. For this reason, Warner Bros. decided to go ahead with it. Justice League was released in theaters in November 2017. Many critics and fans were disappointed. The film was described as one in which the work of two different directors – with competing visions – totally failed to come together. Warner Bros. lost about $60 million with this film, according to Deadline Hollywood. Fans rebelled against this version of the Justice League film and created an online petition to see Zack Snyder’s vision of the film.

The movement to see the Snyder Cut continued to grow tremendously on social media under the hashtag #ReleaseTheSnyderCut. On May 20, 2020, Zack Snyder announced that his version of Justice League would be released on HBO Max in 2021. Fans around the world reacted to this news with enormous happiness. Additional scenes were shot in October 2020 that featured cast members such as Ben Affleck, Henry Cavill and Ray Fisher. In January 2021, it was announced that Snyder’s version of the film was completely finished. So this film has a long history, but how glad I am that this film still came out.

Zack Snyder’s Justice League is DC’s Crowing Achievement

Zack Snyder’s Justice League feels like an epic comic book movie adaptation that evokes profound emotions. The film may be longer than 4 hours, but the strong quality makes it feel even too short. Snyder put his full vision and passion into his version of Justice League. The film is full of scenes that you’ll have not seen before. These are not only incredible action or mythological scenes, but also storylines where more empathy is generated for the characters. All the main and supporting characters are more strongly underpinned with backstories and motives in this film. Even a weak villain like Steppenwolf is much better fleshed out in Zack Snyder’s version of Justice League. As a viewer, I almost couldn’t believe it, but Steppenwolf genuinely came across as a danger to the heroes. In the 2017 Justice League film he looks and acts like a joke.

The villain’s design may be slightly over-the-top, but in terms of visual effects and CGI, it is certainly as good as the Marvel villain Thanos. Zack Snyder’s Justice League feels like DC’s epic. This is their answer to franchises like the Marvel Cinematic Universeand The Lord of the Rings. Zack Snyder’s Justice League is grandiose, spectacular and exceptionally deep. For example, the character elaborations are so good that as a viewer you start to care about fairly weird DC characters like Cyborg and Aquaman. Your empathy is not only created by the strongly written story and great acting. The camera work and editing also provide many symbolic shots that develop the characters.

Zack Snyder’s Justice League is the Better Version

Take for example shots where Cyborg is looking out of a broken window. This symbolizes the fact that this is a broken character with a damaged view of the world. Each superhero gets a chance to steal the show, in that each character is much more fun and better than the characters in Whedon’s version. The Snyder Cut is simply a dream come true. Not only for Snyder, but also for the fans. For those who weren’t already aware; in my opinion, Zack Snyder’s version of Justice League is way better than the 2017 version. The film may be very long (and, according to some, slow), but this does not take away from the fact that the added material has a purpose. It doesn’t just consist of extra fan-service scenes.

These new additions serve a purpose and do not feel like a weakening of the material. On the contrary – it strengthens the entire film and its supporting characters. In Joss Whedon’s version, the superheroes only come together because it’s a superhero movie. In Zack Snyder’s version, the choices and motives are so much better substantiated. As a viewer, you believe that these characters must come together to stop the enemies. This is due to the sincerity of the new scenes. You get to see how these characters must learn to appreciate and understand each other. You get to see how they must learn to function as one team. According to some critics, the story still does not feel earned. The reasoning behind these criticisms rests mainly on the idea that all the characters should have been worked out in solo films first.

Unnecessary Criticism and Minor Flaws

While I can appreciate the idea of previous solo films, I personally think this is bad criticism. It is not based on what the end product is, but on what the end product should have been according to the reviewer. In my opinion, this is not how (film) criticism should work, even though I sometimes understand the urge to review like this. Of course, every reviewer is free to write however they want. The problem is that these critics allow their written opinion to be presented as the truth, when in fact it is their personal opinion. Still, I must say that I (also) have some minor problems with Zack Snyder’s Justice League. For example, there is an overuse of slow-motion scenes in the first and last hour of the film. This can get quite irritating at certain points, but that’s a personal taste issue.

In addition, the CGI and special effects don’t look quite finished at some points. For me, these are the only two minor points that I would like to criticize. Other than that, I for one thoroughly enjoyed Zack Snyder’s Justice League. Also, the work of composer JunkieXL is simply brilliant. It brings together musical themes from different films and characters perfectly. The acting by the entire cast is top notch. In this movie I particularly enjoyed Ray Fisher, Ezra Miller and Ben Affleck. The powers of the superheroes are also used to their full creative potential. This makes for spectacular scenes full of action and suspense. After watching Zack Snyder’s Justice League, I have a huge desire to re-watch Man of Steel and BvS. It has also created desire where I hope Zack Snyder gets to continue and finish his vision for this franchise.

Conclusion

Normally I write an extensive conclusion, but I only want to say two things briefly now. My thanks to Zack Snyder. Not only for creating a top-notch movie, but also for continuing your original vision. And also I hope Zack Snyder can make his two other Justice League movies. In short – #RestoreTheSnyderVerse.

★★★★★

20 Mewtwo Fanfics Recs

Since I’ve been getting more Mewtwo asks recently, I thought I would make a post to promote some of the Mewtwo fics that have caught my eye over the years. Here is a round-up of the ones that were the most memorable and influential to me when I was growing up, as well as some that look promising for other fans to check out!

MEMORABLE FICS:

1. Damaged by Cheshire Kat24

Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8906040/1/Damaged

Summary: Living life to its fullest is never easy. A lesson Mewtwo learns the hard way after sustaining an injury that even his abilities cannot heal without help. With his new friends, he embarks on a journey that will define not only his place in the world, but that of his entire species.

My thoughts: While I never managed to read the entire story, this is a classic and was probably the first long, multi-chapter story with Mewtwo as the lead.

2. Shadows Like You by cosmicmewtwo

Link: Not available, though you can hit her up on Tumblr for the file.

Summary: Driven by his hunger for power, Giovanni creates three new Mewtwos. The clones seem to be under control...but for how long? And how will Mewtwo himself be affected?

My thoughts: This was incredibly influential to my writing, being a huge part of the inspiration behind “TPRS.” The Mewthrees introduced here were great and I checked every day for updates until this fic was complete. As a humorous aside, when I was a wee lass with barely any fic to my name, I sent cosmicmewtwo a message asking if I could use Mewthree characters in my own story, without realizing that cosmicmewtwo didn’t own that concept. She, bless her heart, confusedly told me to go ahead with my story and supported some of my earliest fics.

3. Anomaly by Dark Magician Girl Aeris

Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/3173119/1/Anomaly

Summary: When Mewtwo erased his memory from the minds of Team Rocket, he overlooked the computers they used in studying him. Now a second member of the race has been created by even more unorthodox means than the first. And boy, is she mad!

My thoughts: Aeris is excellent at writing Mewtwo, to the point where this is probably the most canon-compliant depiction of him that I’ve come across. This adventure story is also well-written and has a lot of feel-good moments. I wish that she’d managed to finish it, but what she has, along with the connected one-shots, is worth digging into.

4. The Sword and Shield Series by Kayasuri-n

Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/3535877/1/Sword-and-Shield

Summary: Detective Brenda Johnson was looking for something suspicious when she entered the lab, not a connection between Team Rocket and gym leader Giovanni Rocketto. She certainly wasn’t expecting Mewtwo. Rated M for Murder and other subjects.

My thoughts: So if you’re looking for a super fun murder mystery ride, this one is for you! I still desperately want to see what the remake would look like. That said, there are several entries in the old series, all of which are great.

5. More Than Just Shadow by Kirlien

Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/3602934/1/More-Than-Just-Shadow

Summary: Amy was sitting quietly on the doublebed, watching over the wounded Pokémon. “Mewtwo…What are you?…Who are you?” she whispered faintly, her fingers brushing against his cheek slightly in a soothing motion.

My thoughts: I remember this fic for how it captured the golden feeling of innocence in the Pokemon franchise. While dark things were happening in this story, there was a sense of warmth and compassion that I’ve always admired. This is another one that I wish had been finished, but what is here is worth digging into.

6. Between Two Worlds by Leonardo Mystic

Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/505048/1/Between-Two-Worlds

Summary: Ki is a teenage girl with special powers. Who one day accidentally discovers the Team Rocket project of Mewtwo. 

My thoughts: This was one of the first Mewtwo fics I ever read and was the most memorable in the romance category. I’d call it one of the classics and an interesting rewrite of the original movie. 

7. Forgotten by Melora Maxwell

Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/926885/1/Forgotten

Summary: The humans have a most strange saying. Curiosity killed the cat. I suppose in my case, it would be curiosity killed the clone. For it is what I am.

My thoughts: This one was responsible for the genesis of “Angelic Shadows.” It’s angsty and, despite being lean in the way of descriptions, it has a strong emotional impact. It’s a shame that it never got an ending, because it seems like it was within a few chapters of being complete. Even so, if you like gritty, this is a good one to look into.  

8. Eclipsed by Meriah

Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/4468231/1/Eclipsed

Summary: A young woman named Sutichay carries Arei, a miraculous child, whose birth will bring about a religious conflict. Later in the chaos, Arei is made the priestess of Mewtwo, and her growing attraction to him stirs the anger of Sabrina, his wife.

My thoughts: While this fic only has a few chapters, the premise is imagination, the writing is lovely, and it deserved more attention than it received. This was also the inspiration for my story “Hollow.” When Meriah discarded the original prologue for “Eclipsed,” she allowed me to use it—and the character Arei—as a jumping off point for my own story. The result was two very different tales with similar thematic cores.

9. The Incomplete Soul Saga by Miyuutsuu

Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/u/888889/Miyuutsuu

Summary: What is my true purpose in life?

My thoughts: If you’re looking for more grit, we have this odd series by Miyuutsuu, who wrote his stories with the Rule of Cool. Want Mewtwo to have a sword? An angsty romance with a gym leader? Possibly some loss of limbs? Then here you go! It’s a dark action/adventure story with a different flavor than anything else on this list.

10. Of Moonlight Shadows and Echoes Past by ZeoViolet

Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/620186/1/Of-Moonlight-Shadows-and-Echoes-Past

Summary: A Psychic teenager named Sharie, daughter of one of Mewtwo’s creators, finds a baby Mewtwo Giovanni forgot about…and eventually, runs into Mewtwo himself.

My thoughts: This was my favorite Mewtwo fic and one that I still think of fondly. The writing is lush, the premise is solid, and I definitely wanted to see where it would have gone. It’s another classic of the fandom.  

11. If You Let Me by Byoshi

Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/4129309/1/If-You-Let-Me

Summary: Every Pokemon Smasher must have a master, and the rule is no different for Mewtwo. A tug-of-war begins between Peach and Ganondorf, conflicted but united in their attempt to use Mewtwo to overthrow Master Hand.

My thoughts: I don’t have much to say about this one, other than I really enjoyed it, found the premise intriguing, and wished I could have seen more of the central relationship in it. Sadly, like many of these entries, it was discontinued.

PROMISING FICS:

These are fics that I haven’t actually read, but appear to have pull in the fandom and have definitely had a lot of hard work put into them.

12. Mute, Too by FalconPain

Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/3931388/1/Mute-Too

Summary: After losing a battle to the dark Pokémon Darkrai, Mewtwo awakens to find that he no longer has his psychic abilities. No longer able to float, read minds, or even talk to humans or Pokémon, he must rebuild his life. But how much of this can he take?

13. Forsaken by lilpurplebird

Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5842142/1/Forsaken

Summary: Being a Legendary isn’t always a good thing—they realized that too late when the world came to an end. Mercifully, they were given another chance, but at a cost: They had agreed in a previous life to become mortal should they have failed to uphold their duties. Unbeknownst to them, however, there is a dark power lying in wait, targeting Mew and Mewtwo to do its dirty work…

14. Crossing of the Paths by MMMAJ Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/1252581/1/Crossing-of-the-Paths

Summary: Mewtwo can no longer stand living with humans, so he creates a dimensional portal and randomly wanders the web of infinite universes. This is the tale of the places he sees and the people he meets. 

15. Lines in the Sand by Shinymonkey8

Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6847646/1/Lines-in-the-Sand

Summary: After finally escaping from Giovanni, Mewtwo has a chance to live his life free, and sadly alone… But when fate leads him to something he would have never expected, a female of his own species, his life is turned upside-down…. 

16. Human, Monster, Hybrid Series by TheFrogFromHell

Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/3082844/1/Human

Summary: When Mewtwo lured six trainers into his trap on New Island, he’d planned to begin his reign of terror on the human world. He hadn’t planned on being nearly destroyed by the battle that ensued, or on being nursed back to health by a human—a member of the species he’d despised enough to want to eradicate from the earth. Now, Mewtwo is torn between his hatred for his creators, and the new, mysterious emotions he feels for Misty, the human that saved his life. One again, his true purpose is in question: will he still choose to destroy the world, or will these unfamiliar insights change the way Mewtwo views humans, pokémon, and even himself. 

17. From Dark To Light by Whozawhatcha

Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7659746/1/From-Dark-To-Light

Summary: Mewtwo falls for a Gardevoir, but hesitates to reveal any of his past to her, considering the circumstances. However, his past and Team Rocket do catch up to him, and how will they manage? And with strife with this Gardevoir’s mother, how will they continue to be together? What are her true motives for keeping her daughter from this mysterious pokemon?

18. The Mewblade Series by Vaporeon Lugia Krabby

Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/2967855/1/Her-Beginning

Summary: Welcome to the real complexity of the Pokemon World. Here we experience the full extent of this world alongside Mewblade, a Mewthree. This prologue introduces Mewblade, following the beginnings of Mewtwo. This opens a larger plot, full of depth and death.

Note: While this isn’t a Mewtwo-centric fic, it has been a prominent work in the fandom for ages.

SOME CAUTIOUS SMUT RECS:

So looking up Mewtwo smut can be dicey, since many of the writers of said smut tend to prefer dub-con or non-con scenes, with Mewtwo being a dominant alpha male/sexually-aggressive character. This can be triggering for some readers. The following two stories are not exactly exceptions to that pattern (well, “The Mewtwo File” is, but I have different qualms about it), but the romance in them helps to mellow them out.

19. The Mewtwo File by Alisonven

Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/4200365/1/The-Mewtwo-File

Summary: This is the story of the young clone Mewtwo and Aiko, his only human friend, the daughter of his creator.

My thoughts: This is a well-written story and has some good Mewtwo/Ai content in it, albeit features an AU version of them. That said, I have qualms about the sex in here, thanks to the difference between Mewtwo’s and Aiko’s psychological maturities. Aiko is clearly an adult, while Mewtwo reads more like a teenager. Some readers were fine with that; I felt squicked. There is also a casual use of sexual assault in a later chapter, so be aware of that going into this.

20. Primial Instinct by Sonic Sunshine

Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/3486169/1/Primial-Instinct

Summary: Mewtwo tells us the story of how he found and nearly lost love through his eyes. His journey of discovery is one filled with dilemmas, and even the most powerful Pokemon is helpless to stop it. Mewtwo x Lucario.

My thoughts: There are also casual uses of sexual assault in this, including from Mewtwo, which I wasn’t keen on. That being said, this is well-written and the central relationship is interesting, so who knows, it might scratch the yaoi itch for those of you who love the genre.

More Top 20 Must-See Horror Movies

 Especially now we are in isolation, who doesn’t crave a good horror movie to watch? To that purpose, I have created yet another top 20 must-see horror movies, along with why you should be watching them. So get into your comfy clothes and blanket, grab some popcorn, and settle in to watch these horror gems (WARNING: May contain spoilers).

1) Ginger Snaps (2000)

I first saw this movie when I was fifteen years old, and, watching it recently, I was still impressed how it handles the perils of transitioning from teenhood to womanhood. Ginger Snaps follows the story of two outcast sisters, Ginger (Katharine Isabelle) and Brigitte (Emily Perkins), in the mindless suburban town of Bailey Downs. On the night of Ginger's first period, she is savagely attacked by a wild creature. Ginger Snaps is a terrifying movie with good character development, acting is convincing and it has a fast-paced story line. If you're into well-done horror movies Ginger Snaps is the movie for you. It is one of the best modern werewolf movies I have seen.

2) Annihilation (2018)

Drawing on mythology and body horror, Annihilation is an intelligent film that asks big questions and refuses to provide easy answers. It is Sci-fi horror at its best, boasting a very intriguing and unique idea whilst entertaining the viewer throughout the film. Definitely a must-watch.

3) Green Room (2015)

A punk rock band becomes trapped in a secluded venue after finding a scene of violence. For what they saw, the band themselves become targets of violence from a gang of white power skinheads who want to eliminate all evidence of the crime. Influenced by exploitation movies of the 1970s (and punk music of the 1980s), this horror-thriller is rooted in a gripping, grisly kind of realism without resorting to lazy coincidence or stupidity. This is again a fresh take on horror and worth a view.

4) 1922 (2017)

I learned from a great film critic many years back that your own best judgement of a movie is best discovered when you realise that you are still thinking of it many days later. This Stephen King film stays true to the iconic master with all the tell-tale signs of a Kings classic: A haunting grimness that lingers throughout the movie, a tragedy and of course, outstanding performances. The mother that returns from the dead leaves you in a crazy suspense of whether it is simply a dream, a man’s demented insanity, or an actual reality. Thomas Jane’s performance was stellar and totally believable as a farmer in rural America in 1922. He actually takes you through the movie as if you were part of him and what is going on. The message that Stephen King leaves you with is dreadfully powerful of how greed can destroy all. Definitely worth the watch, especially for Stephen King fans.

5) Evil Dead (1981; remake 2013)

Both versions of this movie are great, but I have a special fondness for the original, which was Sam Raimi’s directorial debut. The camerawork is amazing for a low-budget film, and the creepy atmosphere is eerily accurate. We feel Ash’s pain when his friend, sister and girlfriend are one-by-one changed into Deadites, and the ending keeps you guessing, and wanting, a sequel. I am quite a fan of the Evil Dead franchise actually, and have just finished watching the TV adaptation Ash vs. Evil Dead. I’m savouring the last episodes, and am sad that it got cancelled. I look forward to more from this franchise, hopefully in the not-to-distant future.

6) Get Out (2017)

This film is unique, telling the tale of young black man who meets his white girlfriend’s parents for the first time. Jordan Peele’s film delivers a chilling satire of liberal racism in the US. More than just a standard-issue thriller, this brutal, smart movie is impeccably made, as well as surprising, shocking, and funny, while also offering a compassionate, thoughtful look at race. Expect only the very best a film has to offer, with a nasty twist at the end that you won’t see coming. 

7) Hell Night (1981)

One of the best things about this movie which follows fraternity and sorority pledges who spend the night in a mansion haunted by victims of a family massacre is that it stars legendary Scream Queen of The Exorcist fame, Linda Blair. Other than that, prepare for a fun, wild ride, the way every good slasher movie should be.

8) Insidious Part 2 (2013)

I actually enjoyed this sequel more than the first movie, as it was less plodding and more action-packed, with an intriguing antagonist in the form of the mysterious “Bride in Black,” who turns out to be the evil spirit of serial killer Parker Crane, who, as we know from the previous movie (SPOILER ALERT) has taken over the body of Josh Lambert, and is fighting for control of his soul. I enjoyed seeing the return of Elise Rainier, who was (SPOILER ALERT AGAIN) killed off in the previous movie. James Wan directed this second helping even more masterfully than the first. A must-watch.

9) Sleepaway Camp (1983)

This is a campy slasher gem, where they cast real teenagers, which elevated the drama of the plot somewhat. Sleepaway Camp tells the story of a young girl named Angela who goes to Camp Arawak with her cousin Ricky. Once the two arrive at camp, a series of events/killings leads the campers to discover that there is a killer on the loose. Sleepaway Camp is not in any way intense or fast paced. However, even though many initially might look at as a “rip off” slasher film, the movie does get creative when it comes to the brutal killings and certain aspects to the film that no one saw coming. Including the jaw-dropping twist at the end. I’m not giving it away. You just have to watch it.

10) Cold Prey (Fritt Vilt) (2006)

This movie takes full advantage of its snowy, secluded set-pieces, using Norway’s harsh winter landscape to masterfully build tension and heighten the sense of isolation. As horror movies go, Cold Prey is a slow-starter, committing the first third of its running time to investigating the signs of violence scattered throughout the hotel, allowing the characters to theorise about what pernicious acts may have taken place before the hotel’s abandonment. It begins at the intriguing yet deliberate pace of a psychological horror film as the sequestered friends, initially inebriated and giggly, explore the hotel and sharing secrets, but the movie’s party-hard atmosphere bursts open at the 40-minute mark to reveal a black horror centre. Slick and stylish, Cold Prey is a genuine pleasure to watch.

11) The Hills Have Eyes (1977; remake 2006)

Even if it echoes a better film (namely, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre), the original movie is still an important one to view for lovers of the horror genre.  This is a sometimes ghastly  - and occasionally absurd - shocker that really gets under one's skin. Though many critics initially despised the original outing, it has since been called one of the best horror movies of the 1970s. Scary-movie specialist Wes Craven made this viscerally-violent feature on a low budget, and some horror connoisseurs call it his best. Ultimately the "normal" people strike back with a ferocious blood-lust they didn't know they had, and the question is how much a "civilised" person can be pushed before one becomes a savage. Are the Carters really all that much "better" than Jupiter and his spawn? That is a question that you, as the audience member, are required to ponder.

12) The Dawn of the Dead (2004)

This remake of George A. Romero's 1978 sequel to Night of the Living Dead soups up the zombies, cranks up the gross factor to 11, and has a lot of cheeky in-jokes about its predecessor. In comparison with the original, out are the shrieking blondes and rampaging looters, in are smart, controlled Ana (Sarah Polley as a believable nurse not afraid to wield a fire poker) and Kenneth (Ving Rhames), who is exactly the kind of cop you want walking beside you if you are facing scores of the undead.

The zombies are a bit spryer in this film, and the pregnancy of one of the main characters is not the life-giving promise it was in the first movie. But the ending is what differs most from the original. If you're a fan of the horror genre, then this flick is a welcome, if derivative, fright-fest in the school of Romero's classics.

13) The Cabin in The Woods (2011)

What starts out as another five-band teen getaway to a cabin in the woods ends up becoming a fresh take on the trope, with puppeteers behind what is taking place, in a twisted game of Choose Your Adventure. The ending is fittingly grim, but you won’t be disappointed. Definitely worth one hour and thirty-five minutes of your time.

14) The Babadook (2014)

The feature debut of writer-director Jennifer Kent is not just genuinely, deeply scary, but also a beautifully told tale of a mother and son, enriched with layers of contradiction and ambiguity. It presents grief as a demon, questions reality, and creeps out the viewer by making psychopathology seem like something that could happen to anybody. The style of the film is not teasing exactly - it's too sad and lonely - but there is certainly a hair-pulling mixture of glum laughter and vast apprehension. Is the demon real? Does it matter? That’s for you to judge. Either way, if it’s in a word, or if it’s with a look, you can’t get rid of the Babadook.

15) Suspiria (Original and the Remake - 1977 and 2019 respectively)

Suspiria is a baroque piece of esoteric expressionism that you enter - and exit - without understanding so much as feeling. It's always fascinating to watch; the thrills and spills are so classy and fast that the movie becomes in effect what horror movies seemed like when you were too young to get in to see them. Director Dario Agento works so hard for his effects -- throwing around shock cuts, coloured lights, and peculiar camera angles -that it would be impolite not to be a little frightened. This entry stands out as it is a visually beautiful horror movie, a bright fantasy that lives off its aesthetic. If you are a horror fan and haven’t seen this movie yet, then you’re not living right. The remake is also worth a watch, something that is oftentimes unique in the horror genre.

16) A Quiet Place (2018)

This gripping, clever monster movie is one of those rare genre treats that seizes on a simple, unique idea and executes it so perfectly and concisely that it elicits satisfying squeals of delight. It's directed and co-written by Krasinski, who's best known for his work in comedy but translates his experience in that genre to the expert building and releasing of tension here. A Quiet Place is, in many ways, like an extended classic horror movie sequence, such as famous ones in The Birds or Aliens, wherein the heroes must try not to disturb packs of resting monsters.

At the same time, Krasinski uses his quiet moments like music, ranging from moments of restful beauty -- including a father-son trip to a waterfall, where it's noisy enough that they can talk and even shout -- to moments of pause. A loud noise can cause a jump, but it's immediately followed by tension and dread: Will the creatures come this time? The real beauty is the movie's primal quality, based on the most basic elements of life, such as survival and protection of the species. No explanation is given for the monsters' existence; they, like us, are just here. Images of water, sand, bare feet, crops, and plant life serve to underline the theme of life itself. A few overly familiar horror movie clichés keep it from being perfect, but otherwise A Quiet Place is so good that it will leave viewers speechless.

17) The Exorcist (1973)

Once famously dubbed ‘the most terrifying movie ever made,” this movie is steeped in urban legend, especially concerning the unfortunate happenings that occurred when it was being made. 

If you think your teen is ready for this shocking film, keep in mind that some audience members in the '70s reportedly fainted after seeing Dick Smith's grisly makeup effects on Blair. In some extreme cases, viewers even required psychiatric care. Also, the moans, snarls, and profane utterances from Regan (most are actually the dubbed-in voice of a well-known older actress, Mercedes McCambridge) amount to some of the most chilling audio ever done for film.

Thanks in part to Linda Blair's wrenching, Oscar-nominated performance, The Exorcist was a huge hit, earning back 10 times its $10 million budget (a then-lavish sum, outrageous for a "mere" horror flick). Movie historians cite it (along with The Texas Chainsaw Massacre) as the conclusive end of old-school spook shows featuring Dracula and Frankenstein and bobbing rubber bats. If you haven’t watched it yet, you may have your horror movie fan card revoked.

18) The Final Destination Franchise (2000 - 2011)

If I had to list all of the movies in the Final Destination franchise in order of quality, I would say 5, 1, 2, 3, and 4. Fourth instalment withstanding, the series is a formidable addition to the horror genre, as the invisible killer, Death Itself, stalks its victims and kills them off in creatively gruesome ways after they initially cheat death. The fifth addition contains an awesome twist at the end which in hindsight you should have seen coming throughout the entire movie. Pay close attention. The only downside is (SPOILER ALERT) that none of the characters throughout the series really survive.

19) Let the Right One In (Lat den Ratte Komma In) (2008)

Please watch the Swedish version, and power through the subtitles. This is a horror movie that is tragic on multiple levels, as it deals with a lonely and bullied boy who so happens to live next door to a pubescent vampire. When her benefactor dies, we see how the main character’s life will also unfold, and what lies in his future. A must-see film that is more than just your average horror movie.

20) Terrifier (2017)

This movie definitely gets back to basics by paying homage to the original slasher classics. Art the Clown, who we are originally introduced to in the 2013 movie All Hallow’s Eve (also worth a watch), is a vicious horror movie villain who kills just for kicks. He also subverts the horror movie trope by using a weapon which was previously considered off-limits to horror movie villains, especially those with supernatural abilites (mostly, anyway). This movie also contains one of the bloodiest deaths in recent horror movie history. I like the use of practical effects over the often-overdone CGI. What is Art the Clown? Deranged killer? Demonic entity? Who cares? Its all good fun. Watch it now on Netflix.

I’ll probably be back again some time in the future with a further 20 horror movies that are worth a watch, because there are so many of them. To everyone, take care during these uncertain times.

Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Review

So I’m going to take a break from Frozen 2 for just a minute and talk about The Rise of Skywalker. I saw it today and I wanted to talk briefly about my thoughts.

Warning! Spoilers ahead!

First, let’s talk about the movie in general. It was better than The Last Jedi (TLJ). That’s all I’m going to say. If anything good came out of this movie, it was that. However, that doesn’t mean that it was perfect. I mean no movie is perfect, but this one is a bit special. At least it was more interesting: Rey finding out who she really is, her trying to find Palpatine and destroy what he had created, Kylo Ren (I mean Ben Solo) having an interesting character development , etc.

Now, on to the part where I roast this movie politely. Again, disclaimer, these are just my opinions and everyone won’t have the same viewpoint as me and that’s okay. We can all be friends right?

So first, let’s start with Rey. She’s still not my favorite. She still doesn’t have an interesting character arc. All we get is her being super powerful and somehow being able to do anything and everything. Yeah we see her training with Leia, but come on. It took Luke and Anakin and Obi Wan years to even become powerful. It took Rey, what, like 3 hours? In my opinion, she’s still the same Mary Sue that we saw from The Forcs Awakens. Nothing has changed. Nope. Still a nope.

Oh and get this. WE GET HEALING POWERS! Yay! We now are somehow able to heal anything and everything! From snakes to bringing people back to life. That’s what we wanted right? Yeah no. We get no explanation on how people can do this now. I understand that for sake of time everything can’t be explained, but really? The Force never was able to do that before. How all of a sudden it can now? That doesn’t make sense to me.

Next is Finn. He’s okay. He’s not my favorite, but he’s alright in this one. He somehow can sense the Force now?? Yeah idk. I’m confused just as much as the next person. I get the Force is what brings balance to everyone and everything, but why Finn? Just because he believes in it, he can now use it to see things and feel things. Mmkay. Good for you.

Also, they completely ignore the fact that him and Rose had a fling back in TLJ. Like all of a sudden, there’s no love interest. Oh! And he keeps saying to Rey throughout the whole movie “There’s something I never told you”, BUT HE NEVER SAYS IT!! It’s like they comepletley forgot he said it like 20 times. I sure didn’t. Hello!! Avengers Endgame had 3 hours of runtime, can we get an extra 30 minutes to explain gaps in the story? Thanks.

Kylo Ren, Ben Solo whatever you want to call him. Yeah he’s the most interesting character in this movie. At least we get somewhat of a character arc with him, with him seeing Han and apologizing and being vulnerable and all that jazz, to him throwing his saber into the ocean because he’s just so done and wants to be good. Yeah fun times....

Time to address the elephant in the room. WHY ON EARTH DID HE GIVE HIS LIFE UP FOR REY??!! I understand he wanted to save her but goodness. Could we have gotten a more noble death? (This is my personal opinion, but whatever). He used the same magic healing powers Rey did on him and brought her back to life. Oh and get this. Shippers rejoice because we get a full on kiss scene for 5 seconds before the guy kicks the can. Umm talk about bad timing. Him and Rey never really had a relationship other than talking to one another through the Force so this makes no sense. I felt as if it was out of place.

Okay. The part where him and Rey team up to take down Palpatine, that was pretty good. I liked that part. Even though he got blown off a cliff by Palpatine halfway through.

Finally, Palpatine. He’s back and oh is he as ugly as ever. We get a moment where he says “Do it!”, which had me rolling. I think they put that in there for the fans to laugh. I sure did. The fact that he’s alive boggles me. Again, can we get those extra 30 minutes to explain how he magically survived? Thanks.

Oh spoiler alert, Rey is his granddaughter. Gasp. I’m shooketh. Not really, especially after Rey thought she killed Chewy with her electricity powers. I was like “That’s Palpatine. She’s related.” *5 minutes later* “YOU’RE RELATED TO PALPATINE!” ME: “Told you”

Anyway, this movie. What is this movie? It was interesting at least, but some moments, I was like “but why?” Like the part at the end where Rey says “I’m Rey Skywalker”. Yeah. Okay. No. I get that Luke and Leia trained you, but why? WHY?! Paying homage? That would be respectful, but just why?

One word for this movie: why?

I mean, go see it. Everyone should see it. I’m not condemning this movie. I’m just confused honestly. I’m glad it’s over because I think they have taken the franchise too far and have ruined it in the process. I still love the original trilogy. It will always be close to my heart. I still love the franchise, don’t get me wrong. I just think the new sequels ruined the magic of it.

Anyway, review is over. I hope everyone had a great holiday!

Ways I would change Solo

My other Star Wars changes

Prequels

The Clone Wars and Rebels

Original Trilogy

Sequels

Rogue One

Solo wasn’t really a bad movie, I think it is a fun movie with great potential. The problem is they focused more on the future and not in the now, a movie about Han Solo does not focus on Han Solo and it’s not necessary at all and the story is very forgettable, and it really is just a cash grab. There is nothing remarkable about the movie and the only two characters who stand out as 100% only enjoyable to me are Enfys Nest and Chewie. The rest of the characters just feel like unnecessary adds or barley passable imitations. So these are ways I would change Solo to make it a great movie

Make the movie about Han. It focused too much on other characters that don’t matter.  Solo suffers from the fact that it really isn’t an origin movie about Han, but rather a movie about how he got his stuff. Which I think is in part because Lucasfilm planned to make Solo a trilogy till it completely and utterly failed at the box office and became the most financially disappointing Star Wars movie in all of the franchise’s history. It focused too much on Qi’Ra, Beckett and L3. The movie should have been about Han. from the streets, to Imperial and to Scoundrel. The movie should have been focused on Han and his relationships with Chewie and Lando. Showing Han leaving the Imperials for freeing Chewie and the two of them work together from that day. Putting a greater emphasis on Lando would have been a smart move since he’s returning in IX, and adding Jabba and Boba mention would have made sense since Lucasfilm had really wanted to do a Boba Fett movie and testing the wasters in Solo would had been better than adding that random cameo with Darth Maul, a character who literally couldn’t have anything less to do with Han or the OT. Why is Darth Maul in a movie about Han Solo? I really feel like they should not have brought Maul back in Solo. He had his return in The Clone Wars and he got his final death in Rebels. Bringing back Maul was dumb. The majority of casual audiences do not know Maul survived TPM, they just shoehorned Maul in for sequel bait and nostalgia. The problem is they focused on the future instead of focusing on their movie.When it comes to Solo, Maul shouldn’t even be there. Han does not believe in the force and believes a lightsaber is a ancient weapon from archaic times and all he needs is a good blaster. From Han himself “I’ve never seen anything to make me believe there’s one all powerful force controlling everything.” I really feel like no one on board understood Han Solo as a character and their inability to make a Han Solo movie about Han or any aspect of Han’s character is what ultimately failed the movie.

Make it a mix between Ocean’s 11 and The Good The Bad And The Ugly. The original trilogy was influenced by Akira Kurosawa’s Seven Samurai.  Rogue One is a Dirty Dozen type war movie. Solo’s problem is it’s just a movie. An easy fix is to make it a heist film first and then make it a space western.  Solo turned into a heist film about 45 minutes into the film. Until then you just had Ehrenreich bouncing around doing stuff. It wasn’t boring but we wasted so much time with him enlisting in the empire, joining Beckett’s gang, having Beckett’s gang die, owing Beckett a favour, meeting his long lost lover and then we finally have our plot. There’s definitely a better way to get the gang together than the convoluted way we got. 20 minutes in, we should know exactly what the stakes are for the rest of the movie.

Han Solo picks his own name. Han is a rebel without a cause. He doesn’t care where he came from, so a random Imperial Officer should not be given Solo his last name. This is Han’s story, he should tell the officer that he’s Han Solo. Han not calling himself Solo was a really bad sign.

Give Han’s original Legends Backstory and how he met Chewie. Han wanting to escape his life in the gang works better in Legends and while I don’t see anything wrong with his bond with Qi’Ra, I just felt like it was really dumb for Han to want to go back to Corellia for her and just see her 20 minutes later. Show his Imperial career more. Have him be revealed as an Ace Tie Pilot, but something changed all that, Chewie. I strongly feel like Legends Han meeting Chewie was more impactful and emotional than what we got in the actual movie. Han saving Chewie from being executed by his Imperial superiors is better than Han being thrown into a pit and speaking Shyriiwook.

More Lando. Basically focus more on Han and Lando’s friendship and surprise everyone by basically pull a Jack Harkness and have Lando kiss Han and Qi'Ra simultaneously. Show us why Han and Lando have a strong friendship, show don’t tell. Have Han and Lando being smugglers in arms. And finally Lando would not leave he would patch himself up and return to help Han in the end. We really needed to see why Han sees so much reverence in his friendship to Lando in ESB. What we got from Solo makes Lando’s betrayal unsurprising. We needed to see why Lando was willing to sacrifice an old friendship to save Bespin from the Imperials, the emotional weight of Han and Lando’s friendship wasn’t there in the movie, it needed to be there so their relationship friendship should’ve been one of the core elements of the movie.

Make Han and Qi'Ra just platonic and childhood friends. I didn’t like the romance and thought Han and Qi'Ra just worked as childhood friends. It really rubbed me the wrong way that Han’s first instinct when seeing Qi'Ra again was wanting to make out with her…when Qi'Ra has been abused by Vos for years and Qi’Ra was uncomfortable about it in Lando’s cape closet. It would be more tragic imo if being betrayed by Qi'Ra that she just wants to kill to the top and stay ahead of the food chain at the cost of old attachments, which this would help turn Han into the cold smuggler we know from ANH

Take out that god-awful “I’m not saying that full name” line Cause Han calls him Chewie and not Chewbacca! Get it? It’s one syllable in the difference. Out of all the connections in the movie, that is the very worst.

Beckett is killed instead of Val. Val was rather mistrustful and skeptical of Han, imagine if only Val, Han and Chewie made it out alive. Val would have no choice BUT to stick with Han and she would grow to trust him, Beckett was a boring character and we all saw his betrayal coming. You could’ve easily changed places with Beckett. But Val would not betray the gang. Val would’ve joined Enfys Nest, while Qi’Ra would’ve been the one to betray Han and co.

L3-37 stays on the slave planet by choice. A minor one but after L3-37 liberates the droids, I think it’d work better if she stayed on the planet to live among her “people”. Her whole shtick was she didn’t like being a slave, there was no logical way she’d get back on the Falcon after freeing all the droid so they had to kill her off. A less cheap and more rewarding pay-off would be she tells Lando she’s staying. They hug, have a moment and she gets to finish her arc. Too many characters die in this film just so the plot can progress (Okay 3, but that’s 3 more than you have to kill). Sure this means you lose the connection in A New Hope where C3-PO mentions the Falcon’s odd dialect but I think we can manage without it. Also, now Han gets to do the Kessel run without any droid help. It shows he’s a great pilot and has what it takes. That’s kinda what we needed to see.

Qi'Ra and Aurra Sing would be partners and lovers. One of the most deadly bounty hunters during the Clone Wars is fridged for Beckett’s reputation. She doesn’t even get a dignified death, not even on screen. Not even a duel. She is pushed to her death. So instead of that bullshit, Aurra would be Qi'Ra’s right hand and lover and together they would kill Vos together. 

Make Dryden Vos more of a legit threatening villain. Paul Bettany used to play really fucking evil gangster characters and that’s what I was hoping Dryden was going to be playing, but he was barely there. Make him cruel, and a clear danger. Prior to the meeting, show him execute an underling for insubordination and have him say “sorry for the mess” imply his abusive relationship with Qi’Ra and show that Qi’Ra wants out, but not in the way Han might think. She wants to kill Vos and take power for herself! And make his death at the hands of Qi'Ra and Sing mean something. Show that Sing is sick and tired of seeing Qi’Ra be hurt by that scum and will say “the Crimson Dawn would be better in your hands, just say the word and he dies” Qi’Ra would say “when the time is right, my pet” 

When the betrayal happens, Aurra Sing leads the Crimson Dawn to attack The Marauders, so we get a climatic scene of Enfys Nest fighting Aurra Sing, while Han and Lando deal with Vos, however when Qi’Ra’s betrayal is revealed, show Qi’Ra killing Vos and leaving Han and Lando to fend for themselves against Crimson Dawn forces. Han and Lando fight them off and Han goes after Qi’Ra and Chewie.

Han would face Qi’Ra. Qi’Ra will boast that Han is too emotional and too good deep down inside and that he doesn’t have what it takes and this was never about him and finally before Qi’Ra can pull out her blaster, Han shoots first. This would be a way of letting the past go and Han embracing his scoundrel ways.

Han’s farewell with Enfys remains the same, but Han also bids farewell to Val to thank her for everything, but Val thanks Han for letting her see to let go of her hatred as she learned that Enfys was just a child and knew that Becket allowed his greed and hatred lead him to his death.

Val would contact L3 and together with Enfys Nest and L3, Val would be a big help to the Rebellion

Han and Lando play one last game of Sabacc and Han wins, thus winning him the Falcon and Han and Lando part off as friends.

Solo ends similar to how it ended with Han and Chewie flying off in the Falcon with a hint to his future with the Hutt Cartel and his rivalry with Boba Fett, thus giving a sign for sequels without making the movie built on sequel baiting.

The War on Used Games

Once we prepare for the coming wave of next generation systems, we should be anticipating improvements on all the good stuff we associate with the current crop of systems. Moving forward we expect: better graphics, faster processors, more fascinating games, you get the idea. But not everything that we're anticipating will be a progressive movement for gaming. At least, as far as Sony and Microsoft are concerned, you can wave goodbye to playing used games on their systems. Although these are simply rumors at this point, it wouldn't be surprising if they came to fruition. It's very plausible, especially when taking into consideration that a few game publishers have already fired shots at the used game market. Most notable is Electronic Arts(EA), who grew to be the first publisher to institute the practice of charging gamers, who bought used games, a charge to access codes that come with the game. To elaborate, Downloadable Content(DLC) codes are included with new copies of a certain game and only with those codes, can that content be accessed. EA expanded its project to provide playing used games online. Gamers would now have to pay $10, in addition to the cost of the used game they will purchased, in order to have access to the online components of their game. Ubisoft has since followed suit, requiring an internet pass for its games as well. You can identify the games which require an online pass as they uncovered the, "Uplay Passport", logo on the box. Ubisoft decided they'd take things a step further and additionally implement Digital Rights Management, a practice more often associated with DVD or CD anti-piracy efforts. Assassins Creed 2 was the first game to be effected by this practice. In order to play the PC version with Assassins Creed 2, gamers are required to create an account with Ubisoft and remain logged into that bank account in order to play the game. This means that if you lose your internet connection, the game will automatically pause and try to improve the connection. However , if you're unfortunate enough to be unable to reconnect to the internet you'll have to continue from your last rescued game; losing any progress you may have made since then. This will be the case for all of Ubisoft's PC titles, irrespective of one playing single-player or multi-player. While Digital Rights Management has been used to combat DVD and DVD piracy for quite some time now, this will mark the first time it's been used for a video game. In light of Ubisoft's guidelines of DRM, Matthew Humphries of Geek. com, cautions that it's feasible that eventually even console activities will require online registration in order to play them. So what's the reason for all of this? According to According to Denis Dyack, the top of Silicon Knights, the sale of used games is cannibalizing the profit of the primary performance market. He also claims that the used game market is somehow causing the price of new games to go up. His proposed solution is to move away from physical disks and embrace digital distribution. Essentially he'd wish to see services like Steam or EA's Origin replace traditional hard copies. There are even rumors that X-Box 720 will embrace the exclusive use of digital downloads and not use disks at all. Whether Ms will actually follow through with that plan remains to be seen. One could argue that Sony has already laid the bottom work for preventing used games from functioning on their future system. At the very least, they've already made quite hard work to make used games significantly less desirable. Kath Brice, of Gamesindustry. biz, reported that the latest SOCOM sport for PSP, SOCOM: U. S. Navy SEALs Fireteam Bravo 3, will require customers who purchase a made use of copy to pay an addition $20 dollars to receive a code for online play. I'd like to see a few quantifiable evidence to support the claim that used games are in fact hurting the sales of new games in any respect. Without some actual facts, it sounds to me like a whole lot to do about nothing. Case in point, within day Modern Warfare 3 sold 6. 5 million copies, grossing $400 million dollars in sales. Proper me if I'm wrong but you haven't heard Infinity Ward complaining about the used game market therefore affecting their bottom line. That's likely because they're too busy counting their money earned by constructing games that people actually want to play. Imagine that. Maybe the problem isn't that used games have a negative impact on that sale of new games but, the problem is instead that game developers need to make better games that people are willing to pay full price for. In my opinion, not every game is worth $60 simply because it's the suggested retail price. Considering things objectively, not every game is created equally, therefore not every game is worthy of costing $60. Whether it's since that particular game failed to meet expectations and live up to the hype or because it lacks any sort of replay benefits. It's ludicrous to argue that gamers should pay top dollar for every game especially when they all too often end up horrible disappointments, like Ninja Gadian 3, or they're riddled with glitches like Skyrim. I know that the War on Used Games is nothing more than a money grab by developers, upset that they're helpless to cash in on a very lucrative market. To put it in dollars and cents, in 2009 GameStop reported nearly $2. 5 million dollars in revenue from the sale of used consoles and used games. And not an individual red cent of that profit reaches the pockets of game publishers. Greed as the motivating factor for any declaration of War on Used Games is transparent. Especially when you consider that when GameStop began separating ones own revenue from new games and used games in their financial statements, EA thereafter instituted their $10 dollar fee for used games. In the absence of empirical evidence, I'll have to settle for anecdotal. I'll employ myself as an example. I'm planning to purchase a used copy of Ninja Gaidan 2 . I've never been a giant fan of the series. I didn't play the first one because I didn't have an Xbox and when it was an Xbox exclusive. And I never played the original version. Needless to say, I was never clamoring to play Ninja Gaidan 2 . However the innovation in the second incarnation of the game, which allows you to disembowel your enemies, is enough of a novelty that I'd like to play through it at some point. I can buy it today, used, for about 10 dollars. If it was only being sold at full price I would more than likely pass on playing the idea altogether or maybe rent it. My point is that game developers are not losing money because of used video game titles; you can't miss money you weren't going to receive anyway. They're simply not getting money they weren't visiting get to begin with. Unless you have a significant amount of disposable income and a considerable amount of free time, you're probably enjoy me and you prioritize which games you plan to purchase and how much you're willing to pay for them. You decide which often games are must haves and which games you'd like to play but are willing to wait for a price drop in advance of getting them. Then there are the games which you're interested in, but they tend to fall through the cracks because they really are not all that high on your radar and you'll maybe pick them up several months later, or even years when their release, if you ever pick them up at all. I find it ironic that the looming death of the applied game market could likely spell the demise of GameStop who, ironically, push their customers to help pre-order new games and purchase them at full price. One would think that game publishers would be appreciative about this product and not detest GameStop and treat used games with such scorn. Pre-orders not only help promote your games but they function as a forecast of potential sales as well. Even Dave Thier, a contributor with regard to Forbes Online, who describes GameStop as, "a parasitic bloodsucker that doesn't do much besides mark in place discs and sit in the mall", recognizes the folly of passing the burden of the used game sector onto the consumer. I've only once pre-ordered a game myself. At the behest of J. Agamemnon, I pre-ordered Battlefield 3, which is ironically a property of EA. I paid full price for this game and was happy to do it. In large part because I was granted access to several weapons and maps that I would have must wait to download had I not pre-ordered it. I propose that instead of punishing gamers for hoping save their hard earned cash, the gaming industry needs to learn to incentivize gamers into wanting to pony up to that will $60 dollar price tag. I titled this article The War on Used Games in an effort to be tongue-in-cheek in addition to poke fun at how whenever the government declares war on drugs or terror or whatever it usually is, they only succeed in exacerbating the problem. It should come as no surprise seeing as how the government tends to take probably the most asinine approach possible trying to "solve" problems. The end result is always the same; precious time and resources are wasted, along with the issue is that much worse than it was before they intervened. If the gaming industry does indeed drop this path; they'll only hurt themselves in the long run, fail to share in the revenue they so greedily covet and worst of all, hurt their customers, who keep the gaming industry abreast with currency. It's very ironic and actually very fitting that it's EA who are spearheading the effort to attack the used game market right after they themselves are one of the largest beneficiaries of used games. Chipsworld MD Don McCabe, told GamesIndustry. biz that EA has what he referred to as a "franchise software house" in that they "upgrade their labels; FIFA, Madden; all of these are effectively the same title upgraded each year. And people trade in last year's for this purpose year's. " He went onto say that those titles are the ones which are most often traded with. Shutting down the used games market effectively destroys a tried and true method in which fans of EA's franchises keep up-to-date with each of EA's annual releases. Aside from nostalgia, what would be the point of keeping FIFA 11, when FIFA 12 is right around the corner? Don McCabe, an executive at Chipsworld, teaches that, "consumers won't prosper under this new system, as copies of the game will lose their reselling value". He goes on to say that retailers will "just readjust [the price] bearing in mind you must buy the voucher. " The CEO of SwapGame cautions that "customers who trade in for cash and credit do so to acquire new games they could otherwise not afford. " This means that ultimately it will be the founder who ends up losing money because when retailers adjust their prices to reflect the increase in charge for used games, the resale value of the game will drop and new games are not as likely to be purchased.

Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald

I had a friend create a 10-category, 50-question Harry Potter trivia quiz for my 30th birthday. I have a Ravenclaw tattoo that takes up most of my right forearm. I’ve helped orchestrate an HP-themed baby shower. I’ve held multiple HP movie marathons. And when we were first dating and Wife told me she’d never read the books, I legitimately cried and then blocked it from my memory. When she told me for the second time, months later, I cried again. 

One could say I’m a fan of the wizarding world. 

So here we are, at the second entry in the second wizarding franchise, and the only question really worth answering is, is this a world that’s still worth visiting? Well...

Imagine someone you love - it could be anyone, but as an example I’ll use your best friend. Imagine your BEST friend, whom you’ve shared so much with, whom you’ve gone through ups and downs with. That one. Now imagine that every few months, your best friend’s mom sends you a text, or calls you, or puts up a billboard in your town that seems to be actively trying to get you to hate your best friend. Things like “She kicks puppies” or “One time, she made fun of a homeless man until he cried” or “She told me she wants to set fire to a hospital.” Like, real fucked up stuff. Would you maintain a relationship with that friend? With them both? Or would you cut ties completely and just hold onto the memories of the friendship you used to have?

I’m genuinely asking, because J.K. Rowling seems hellbent on shitting all over the things I love in some twisted effort to make me utterly baffled and repulsed by the world she has created. I never thought I’d say this, but Johnny Depp is the least of this movie’s problems, so welcome to Whose Crime Is It Anyway? where the timelines are made up and the plot points don't matter.

A spoilery summary! Our favorite Hufflepuff Newt Scamander (Eddie Redmayne) is asked by Hot Dumbledore (Jude Law) to go to Paris and find Credence (Ezra Miller). You remember Credence, the sweet emo boy from the first movie whose death functioned as the climax of the film? JK JK death is meaningless and impermanent here! It’s the roaring 20s, everyone’s drunk. Newt needs to find him because Grindelwald (Johnny Depp, doing his best impression of day-old potato salad) is also looking for him. Credence is the subject of a prophecy that everyone’s familiar with but the audience, you see, and he’s currently trapped in a Parisian street circus with a woman/snake named Nagini (Claudia Kim, and yes, THAT Nagini). Jacob and Queenie (Dan Fogler and Alison Sudol) also show up again, because they were in the first movie too so they have to be here for this. Jacob’s memory has been restored because...~handwavey reasons~ and Queenie decides to join The Mayonnaise Man’s cause as a wizard Nazi because...she wants to marry a Muggle. Somehow I think she didn’t read the whole orientation flyer. Leta Lestrange (Zoe Kravitz) is engaged to Newt’s brother, Theseus (Callum Turner) but is mostly hanging around to look sad and reveal that Credence couldn’t be her long-lost brother because she killed her long-lost brother by switching him with another baby on a ship right before it sank at sea. And she’s right, Credence isn’t her brother - he’s gone over to the dark side, where the vaguely human amalgamation of cauliflower rice tells him he’s the long-lost brother of Albus Dumbledore! Because why the fuck not, nothing else in this goddamn thing makes any sense anyway.

I would also like to point out I left out at least 40 more characters, many of whom seem to be important but are never named or introduced in any way.

SEVERAL thoughts:

Visually, this world is stunning. The set designers have done an incredible job showcasing new magical settings in rich, vivid detail. The Parisian street circus and the French Ministry of Magic building were particular favorites of mine.

Likewise, the 1927-era costumes are drop-dead gorgeous. This franchise should really be called Fantastic Coats and Where to Find Them.

50 galleons seems so steep. I wonder what the wizarding inflation rate is.

Snakes can fit through bars of cages...

Performances - Redmayne is sweet, but virtually shoved out of the way in his own franchise; Kravitz is cold and removed - is that acting choice secret pain or constipation? Hard to say; Fogler is underutilized, especially after being the emotional MVP of the first film; Sudol is fractured and manic, completely devoid of her earnest warmth from before; Miller barely gets 3 lines, and mostly looks like he’s about to cry; Law is fine as hell and kindly and wise and doesn’t give off weird “I’m going to use children as sacrificial lambs without telling them or anyone else about it” vibes, so that’s already a big step up from the Dumbledore we get in the books; and then there’s Johnny. Johnny “lightly braised tofu” Depp is giving one of his most understated performances in years, to the point that he’s almost...boring? Most genocidal fuckheads are at least compelling speakers, but this dehydrated turnip just sort of glides about, while his followers do dastardly things for him. He doesn’t even kill his own toddlers, he outsources it to his followers. Does nobody believe in honest, hard work anymore? 

Basically all of the details - the set dressing, the costumes, the overall aesthetics and feel of the film - are beautifully realized. However, the foundation is made of smoke and sand and the distant sound of JKR’s maniacal laughter.

Cast and endorse an accused abuser who is teetering on the brink of public collapse? Check. Include outdated Orientalism cliches by casting an East Asian woman as mysterious, dangerous, and literally snake-like? Check. How about a white imperialist Imperius-ing Leta Lestrange's (black African) mother and literally forcing her into sex slavery with no follow-up or reflection on the part of the film or its characters? Check. It’s like some sort of perverse bingo game she’s playing to try to alienate everyone who might have seen themselves in the Harry Potter universe as belonging, because they understood what it was like to be an outsider, to be abused, to be shunned and made fun of and ostracized. Cause fuck all those people, amirite?

And that’s just the offensive choices from a purely political standpoint. How about the offensive choices regarding more trivial matters like linear time and space - like Dumbledore teaching Transfiguration, not DAtDA. Or like Professor MacGonagall being born in 1935, yet somehow teaching at Hogwarts in 1927. People apparating inside Hogwarts. Complete reversals of characters’ personalities and motivations. Characters being introduced and never seen again (where did Bunty go?? Did she die???) Characters NOT being introduced and never seen again (what up Jessica Williams, super psyched that you’re here, sure would be neat if I knew who the fuck you were playing or why that person was important!) If the references are meant for fans’ benefit, it fucking BACKFIRED, because most HP fans I know aren’t looking for a convoluted soap opera where babies are switched, people have secret brothers, everyone's amnesia gets reversed, and people come back from the dead.

Now that I think about it, the practice of confronting a boggart is super problematic. Like people have traumas. It's not all spiders and snakes, Dumbledore! God, Hogwarts pedagogy is shit.

I’m still not convinced that Jude Law’s tasty Daddy Dumbledore could possibly still be in love with this tuna salad sandwich from a vending machine at the DMV. That flashback in the Mirror of Erised is supposed to be full of longing but all I could think was, “is this how straight people think gay sex works?” Would have loved to hear that day in the writer’s room. “Maybe we could have them kiss?” “Too gay. What if they exchange blood vows and hold hands to form a magical amulet?” “Nailed it.” *everyone high fives and chugs a Red Bull* 

There’s just...so much. So much that I wish were different. I don’t quite know how it’s possible for a film to explain both too much and not enough, but here we are. The Crimes of Grindlewald isn’t just a title, it’s a prophecy of what audiences are forced to endure here - it’s not just separating art from artist, it’s not just cultural exploitation and othering, it’s not just queer erasure, it’s not just overplotted and underwhelming narrative, it’s not just cheap shocks and winking references. The rap sheet just keeps getting longer and longer, and I have to wonder when, if ever, Rowling will atone for these crimes.