#how to hide a body | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

trash-king-coal · 8 months

Text

My grandpa might think I'm a sociopath

Long post, skip if you want.

My grandfather was visiting recently, and we were at a community picnic, so this all happened in public, outside, very casually. Note, my grandfather is a sarcastic shithead. I love him dearly, but he is a sarcastic little shit. I don't think I've heard him go 3 sentences without joking ab smth. Now, The Story.

I had just gotten food, and had been thinking about how to hide a dead body, like ya do, so as I was sitting down, I told my dad, 'when hiding a dead body, bury it really deep, then cover it a bit, then bury a dead dog or smth over it, so that's what the cops think the cadaver dog is smelling.' and, my dad is used to me saying these kinds of things, so we got into a discussion about the ideal way to hide a body. Like ya do. At some point I said to go even further and bury 2 dogs like that, so if the cops dig deeper, they just find another, and he mentioned that that would be suspicious, etc etc.

Eventually I came to the conclusion that you should bury the body in a garden, and then you should plant a protected species of flowers over it, bc then, legally speaking, cops can't dig it up. You could go even further and plant some corpse flowers nearby so the cops don't see any reason to try in the first place. You'd be successfully hiding the body *and* helping the ecosystem, bc the body will act as fertilizer.

So, I had this, completely calm and somewhat sophisticated, convo with my dad, at the table, at a communtiy picnic, in public, while we were eating, in front of the rest of my family, who are also used to this, and my Grandfather. and, I kid you not, He turned to me, gave his opinion, and then said, completely serious, 'why are you asking about this kind of thing anyways?' and I did not have an answer.

TL;DR, my grandfather might just think me and my dad are sociopaths.

#storytime #tumblr stories #short story #grandpa #how to hide a body #corpses #death mention tw #body #gardening #corpse flower #protected species

3 notes · View notes

emeraldhearts-podcast · 11 months

Text

You know those people that you absolutely can't stand, and they have done practically nothing to make you not like them but like you know.

Like they could breathe, and you get annoyed. Like anything they do, you absolutely demolish them for it in your head even if you do the same thing.

Honestly, I have that type of person around me, and they are constantly in the way. Like I might not see them all the time, but the very fact that I know that they are on the same property as me or I will see them late absolutely irks me.

This person is the very bane of my existence. Their very presence makes me want to shove them off a building. Everything they do makes me angry. Just being around them makes me agitated.

This person may have done one annoying thing directly to me, but they will never escape my judgment. I see this person , bare with me, as less than. I don't think I'm better than them, no. It would be an insult to compare myself to this person.

Anytime this person looks at me, I have the violent urge to sock them in the eye with a pitchfork. This person does anything, and I will immediately roll my eyes. My usual composure disappears, and I find it hard to hide my disgust.

I refuse to interact with this person or be alone with them, and if should such a situation happen, I limit any and all conversation. This is another such person who makes me annoyed but not to this point. I would rather jump off a cliff than have to be nice to this person.

As you can tell, I am around this person right now, which is making me feel so strongly. If this person should ever call me for help, I would ignore them even if it causes them to die, probably not because people I know know this person too.

There are far more foul words that I could use to describe how I feel, but I am trying to be as calm as possible. Were I, to use such foul language, I would cause myself to have a stroke or to drown on my own spit.

In the process of writing this, that person managed to tick me off. Hell be eternally damned, the f-

#mini rant #personal stuff #send help #boutta finish watching Antman #how to hide a body #jk #for legal reasons that was a joke #ahhhhh #i think

1 note · View note

yourgirlalyssa17 · 2 years

Text

Anyone know how to hide a body? All opinions wanted…

#how to hide a body #murder #need help

5 notes · View notes

scrib-scribbles · 2 years

Text

my teacher just told me how to hide a body without getting caught????? she said to bury it under an endangered plant species so they couldn't dig it up and like ma'am i was NOT talking to you what

#my teacher #how to hide a body #what #pardon me

6 notes · View notes

rhettandlinkelonmusklover · 2 years

Text

bestie just said she hates the hunger games :/

#disowned #euthanized #how to hide a body

2 notes · View notes

panrayofsarcasm · 11 months

Text

My brother drank my fucking lemonade. His days are numbered

#i feel betrayed #murder is okay #how to hide a body

1 note · View note

puppetmaster13u · 4 months

Text

Prompt 160

Constantine might have made a slight mistake. Just an itty bitty one. Okay maybe not an itty bitty one, but it’s not like he usually deals with Realms beings! No one deals with Realms beings if they can help it, and never willingly!

So maybe he had been a little more drunk than usual, and maybe a tiny bit more desperate. But he’s pretty sure he didn’t do any hanky-panky with anyone. So he’s very confused as to how the fuck, he apparently has not just one, but three Realms-cores?!

Seriously, what the actual fuck, who looked at him of all people and decided, yeah, he looks like he could be a dad?! Mom!? Whatever the fuck it is.

What the fuck is he supposed to do in this situation!?

#DcxDp #DpxDc #prompts #Constantine is having a meltdown #He’s the one whose always telling other people to not mess with stuff they don’t understand #And then This fuckin happens #Halfas are like phoenixes when they emerge from their cores because they have to completely regrow their bodies #Constantine is Not prepared for three Realms-babies #How did this happen? Good question- Go wild #He is going to hide this from JL & JL Dark for as long as he can manage #It's either the Dannys; Team Phantom; or 3 of Danny's clones #does it count as mpreg if it's ghost cores

1K notes · View notes

ibrithir-was-here · 4 months

Text

Sooo I wrote a…weird little thing, a certain comic by @mayhemchicken-artblog got my creative juices percolating and under the press of staying up far too late for several days this came to fruition, enjoy!

The Eye of the Beholder

Link to the Comic

589 notes · View notes

pikinanouart · 6 months

Text

Having a spy and an assassin as parents is hard.

#spy x family #sxf yor #sxf loid #sxf anya #anya forger #loid forger #yor forger #twiyor #It's True Love when your SO is willing to help you hide a body.#This is how they flirt lol #10 years after THE MISSION

420 notes · View notes

crabsnpersimmons · 2 months

Note

I’m curious about the onesie now

also @pizzaplex-stargazer cuz you noticed too!

here's what Moon was rocking before Clip started making clothes:

after their PizzaPlex went under, the DCA bois had to figure out a lot of things, one being: clothes. unfortunately, Moon's really big, so he struggled to find things that fit him and were comfortable. the onesie is the first thing he found that fit him and made him feel really cozy. so he still wears it at home (he prefers comfy clothes at home anyways) when he needs a pick-me-up.

of course, he can't work at the salon in a bunny onesie, so here's what Clip made him (under Sundrop's direction):

Moon does prefer comfy clothes, but he has to admit, sometimes he likes the attention these clothes get him. he's iffy about them though, he feels that they show too much of him and he prefers the specific kind of comfort that comes from being an amorphous bundle of coziness.

#fnaf moon #fnaf sun #fnaf dca #dca fandom #New Do Same You AU #Moon New Do Same You AU #Sun New Do Same You AU #this AU is full of silly and angst i swear #look Moon in a rabbit onesie! (:#he likes it because it hides his body and he can momentarily forget that he was forced into a body that isn't his ):#he can be a silly little gremlin again (:#and not think about what he looks like under the fabric ):#the bunny onesie was honestly just a silly idea i had early on even before i thought of Moon's body upgrades #i just thought it would be in-character for Moon to like comfy clothes and would wear comfy clothes when he's not out in public #but i was worried the bunny onesie would be too silly?#but after chatting with friends about it #i just #i had to keep it in #look at how happy Moon is!#he's a little moon bunny!#let him have some joy #i've wrote a painful backstory for him anyway let him have this #traditional art #crab art #bright colours #ask the crab

281 notes · View notes

bjurnberg · 8 months

Text

@stealingyourbones I have the perfect dog for you. Look at this good boy.

407 notes · View notes

inkskinned · 1 year

Text

what is considered "beautiful" by society is inevitably sexist, racist, ableist, classist, transphobic, and bigoted. it targets and attacks any perceived difference, and it particularly villainizes women of color while co-opting aesthetics; as if features and cultural norms can be worn as accessories.

and the scary thing! you can see all of these things, know them to be true logically, and also know that you are treated better if you are perceived as beautiful. if you have ever been treated as "ugly", you know exactly how much society reviles you if you don't manage to scamper along and perform to their rules.

and how are you supposed to balance that? do you want a nose job to fix your broken nose, or have you just recently been seeing videos about how many people look better after nose jobs. do you want to lose weight to feel good, or is it that when you lose weight people treat you better. do you want to wear this outfit, or is it just the thing that's least likely to get you harassed. do you want to get lip injections for your reasons or is your whole reason that you don't feel beautiful unless you get those lip injections?

and the definitions shift. the goals get more specific. in the way that you only become aware of your tongue when someone mentions it; parts of your body are introduced as problems. i had never heard the term "hip dip" until about a year ago - and it was in the context of how to get rid of this. i'm 30, i know this shit is invented, and yet! i still find that strange voice saying but do you think someone is going to notice?

how the fuck am i supposed to say "this is my genuine choice i am making for my body" when i also know that years of my life have been spent socializing me to accept this as my inevitable fate? how do i know i'm actually doing this out of love for my body - or am i doing it for how i want others to see me, which will be lovely enough to feel loved? how am i supposed to recover when my unhealthy habits are seen as self-discipline but if i relax i'm openly mocked for "letting time win"? how the fuck am i supposed to say "i'm doing it for me" when i'm also very aware that i'm doing it to stop myself from being teased or demeaned? is it my choice if the other option is being bullied?

we are living in a hostage negotiation - either consent to the demands or spend the rest of your life being treated like you're a despicable person.

#i also have things to say about how gender plays into this #but it became like 1450 pages #so i saved the rest in a draft #btw? hip dips used to be like valued in the 90s & 2000s during the ultra thin craze #which is so fucking wild to me bc i am old enough to REMEMBER that people WANTED them #bc they're literally the shape of your bones. they're your hipbones showing. & you literally CANNOT 'target' that area #that would be like targeting your elbow. it's a fucking JOINT.#it is a place where you either do or do not carry mass. the lower ur bodyfat percent and the higher ur thigh & glute strength #the less that you will carry weight there #which is even MORE fucking cruel bc !!! the type of people who are already trying to improve themselves helplessly #are going to be aware of their body! and ur literally GIVING them an insecurity they LITERALLY do not decide!!!!#“it rounds out ur figure” here's something my guy! maybe people shouldn't have to look uniform and sleek !!!#maybe you just want to fuck a manatee !!!#if we're really at the point that you have to apologize for LITERALLY HAVING BONES.....#like sorry my legs had to connect somewhere in my form :( i will hide that from u. my apologies ur honor #(fashion bloggers gagging bc there's evidence other people have skeletons)

1K notes · View notes

skneees · 1 year

Text

walks into a dead fandom. hello. i have gifts,

#im only on season 9 so no spoilers please #but heres my babygirl. holds him out #hi rvb fans i come bearing gifts #rvb #red vs blue #rvb church #do i uh. tag all of his names.#rvb epsilon #rvb alpha #rvb fanart #red vs blue fanart #leonard church #this is my s1/human design for him #he gets a little funky later on #see i wanna know how they gave him a human body. explain that one.#did they get a clone?? an empty body?? was it an android programmed to look and think its human and feel pain???#so many questions #regardless i am standing strongly by my brown eyes church idea #im telling you if theyre HIDING THE AI. WHY WOULD THEY MAKE HIM REMOTELY INTERESTING OR OFF-LOOKING #like dont get me wrong i love the neon blue eyes #however. this i feel strongly on. they said make a genaric white man and they did just that #anyway hes my favorite teehee #my art

1K notes · View notes

taylorrepdetective · 21 days

Note

I know she had era tour but I don’t think I can do it w a broken heart is actually eras tour

I thought of this too. Maybe sometime down under? No way to know, but I did think the line she threw in at the end “Try and come for my job” might have hinted at something. I can read it both ways. As always, we’ll never know for sure. But I think it’s fair to say she has felt this way many times. It reminded me of Katy having to go on stage immediately after having her husband tell her he was filing for divorce. And it’s relatable. We’ve all had to put on a happy face at work and pretend things are fine at home.

#on a personal note #it reminds me of one of my depressive episodes where everyday I just didn’t want to get out of bed or do anything #and as a result I lost 15 pounds in a short period.#and when I did get out of bed and smiled I got a lot of comments about how great I looked #so I don’t think we need to necessarily dissect this so much #the point is sometimes she is deeply unhappy and we won’t know because like everyone she hides her feelings #and we should remember this always. we don’t know her.#body language experts should shut up because if she’s in public she knows she can be video’d or photographed at any moment always #so she always has the face on she wants people to see #that sounds so exhausting

75 notes · View notes

radiance1 · 9 months

Text

A 'No one knows' Au and that one au where Danny leaves behind a corpse after death.

With a twist.

Jack and Maddie, not fearing death but fearing becoming a ghost after death have perfected what one would call functional immortality.

Clones.

Which is kind of why they're pretty careless about danger outside of combat, they just, quite literally, cannot be bothered to care less. If they die? Then their souls would just be thrusted into a clone body.

They didn't just cheat death, they walked all over it, spat on it, and continued walking over it a multitude of times.

Which accidently became a plus for Danny and his secret identity.

See, when Danny went ghost to save the day, he came back only to find his body gone. Safe to say, he panicked and looked everywhere for it, or tried to at least, because if that got out he wouldn't really know how to deal with it.

Only to then learn his parents hid and are quite literally experts at hiding bodies, his included.

Jack and Maddie are quite happy that they were the ones who stumbled upon Danny's body and not anyone else, since it would take a quite long amount of explanation as to why their son was found dead yet seemingly walked to school fine hit Monday!

Well, they weren't happy he died really, as any parent wouldn't be, but they're glad they prepared extra bodies for both him and Jazz in case the day ever came.

Danny awkwardly slid himself into said excuse while trying not to externally freak the fuck out. But hey, at least it's a plus that whenever his parents find his corpse they just, hid it no questions asked.

Good, it would be so weird if anyone managed to find either of their multiple corpses.

But hey! At least Jazz hasn't died yet!

398 notes · View notes

thejadecount · 2 years

Text

I’d like to think that upon seeing 18! Mikey, all the other iterations of the TMNT (including the other versions of himself) would instantly go into “protect child from danger” mode

without realizing 18! Mikey IS the danger

#it’s all fun and games until Mikey gets ahold of fire #it’s all fun and games until they seem him throw a cargo boat LIKE ITS A BASEBALL #I’m just saying there should be more respect for rise Mikey #OUT OF FEAR #rottmnt #rise tmnt #rottmnt mikey #rise mikey #I feel like we should all remember how insane he is #like how actually insane he is #rise mikey is like every other Mikey except he has expert knowledge on how to hide bodies #jesus christ mikey calm down #especially if one of them calls him little then they’re fucked #rottmnt michelangelo #rise michelangelo #and then he’s like ‘watch this’#AND DOES FUCKING MAGIC AND RIPS THE FABRIC OF SPACE #CALM DOWN MIKEY #tmnt crossover

880 notes · View notes