#house. idk. this is so fucking stressful and i won’t make enough money and i can’t fucking drive which is my biggest problem bc i could
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ok so i have spent basically the whole day apartment searching. in conclusion i don’t think i can live in an apartment 👍🏻💕
#purrs#im SO fucking limited by being unable to drive and everything within walking / shuttle distance of campus has bad reviews and everything#farther away is too expensive which is fine bc i need roomies anyway probably but i can’t ask someone to be my roommate and my carpool like#that would be so complicated to find. also i CAN. NOT. deal with roaches or bugs or like any of that. i can’t. that and mold and sound#issues are my biggest thigns and i can’t do that like we already have 2/3 here LMFAOOOO so yeah. so i think im better off trying to see if a#anyone living in the neighborhoods around campus are leasing a room or something but then i probably won’t get my own bathroom or kitchen w#which is fine but like it would be awkward if im living in a room and then sharing that room with ppl who actually permanently live in that#house. idk. this is so fucking stressful and i won’t make enough money and i can’t fucking drive which is my biggest problem bc i could#split costs w roommates and suck it up to share a kitchen and bathroom again as lo ng as i have my own bedroom. but i can’t do a 2 star#apartment LOL. i wish i could’ve just stayed where i was living on campus like it wasn’t perfect and the walls were thin but it was clean an#and there were hardly any bugs and it was right on campus and so convenient and everything nearby is so shitty. i fucking hate this#also i don’t even have a credit card yet and i need to have a credit score to apply for some of this stuff and im like 😃🔫
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YES MAKE THAT BOY A SMOKING ADDICT . After Nathalie leaves with her now wife to London and decides to leave him on his own ( it makes sense ! ) he doesn’t feel right about keeping all the money because it’s dirty money to him so he donates most of it to several charities ( and some people would think he’s stupid for doing so but ..the trauma ) and he has just enough to buy a little apartment and he has to find a job to make it through the week ( he almost went homeless at some point ) and his hair has grown longer and it fits him and he’s so stressed he just needs some cigarettes you know ! A lot of his money goes to Plagg’s camembert because he feels bad about starving him with plain old cheese and the rent is though . He’s still traumatized from the death of his two abusive parents ( amongst other things ) and he wishes he could’ve been more loved and now he never will because they’re dead :(
Anyways he has his friends and things changed after all the lies and stuff but he still loves them very much and they grow closer somehow and Mari and my son get back together eventually ( it won’t be until they’re on the last year of high school- SPECIFICALLY)
Yeah I got a whole scenario from that
ok u know what if Natalie left him after ALL THAT i do think his life would get fucked up 😭😭 idt she would but hey stranger things have happened. idk if he would wind up homeless tho bc his friends are too loving and generous to keep that from happening. unless like. he insisted on it. but also it’d be dangerous bc he’s a celebrity. i do agree that he would try and give as much of his money away. i feel like marinette and nino would be desperately trying to open their homes to adrien if he had no form of accommodation, or if he had to live ALONE i swear nino would get his family to adopt adrien somehow. btw why have we never seen nino’s house. where are nino’s parents. why do i know who mylene’s dad is and know her fucking mom abandoned her but I don’t know who the fuck ninos parents are. it’s not just me fforgoeting right. this is canon information we lack? where does he live. is he rich? is his family working class? do they live in a tree house? why don’t I know these things. why don’t we know more about nino. god fucking damn it sorry to derail but Jesus Christ who is that boy. who made him
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my friend/ex was really upset yesterday. his body is all messed up from various injuries, he needs dental work. i told him to call out of work bc he wasn’t going to get any sleep before his shift
he moved near his hometown with some planning but not a lot. he wants to go to school. but he won’t have in-state tuition since he was living in my state prior to moving. he works really hard at work but it’s physical labor and it only makes his health issues worse. he also doesn’t want to move up to a less labor-intensive position :/ he honestly needs to take medical leave
and he’s upset with my brother for various reasons, but last night he was drinking and it all came out and he messaged my brother and my mother about how upset he was about my brother breaking something of mine and not paying in full to replace it. he’s struggling with money on his own and he resents my brother for having a cushy job that he complains about and flouts authority on. in many ways my brother IS entitled and probably WOULD benefit from being punched in the face at least once for his shitty political views, especially bc my ex is genderqueer. but he has definitely not spoken frankly about it with my brother
speaking of which, now he’s in a less accepting place and tho he “toned down the queer” he still gets looks from ppl and it’s stressing him out a lot. he worries about going thru backroads in case his car breaks down and someone kills him
all his friends from back home are druggies or complete deadbeats or both and he’s had a falling out with everyone since he moved. he’s also worried one of his older friends won’t live beyond this year. so now all the friends he does rely on are in my area and not his and he’s very lonely and isolated. and that also means i’m his best friend rn, which he’s told me several times
a week or so ago he wanted to make a risky and illegal change in career and after i told him i wouldn’t have been friends with him anymore if he decided to do it, he told me he still wants to fuck me. when i told him i can’t be casual with him anymore so don’t say that, he said he didn’t say it properly and that he meant he wants to be with me, eventually. and it’s just a whole fucking thing. he can’t even articulate what he wants. i told him not to mention it again unless he was sure and confident he could actually be a good partner to me. and i told him i need time to get over him too
and last night, we were chatting and i realized he’d been drinking, and he’s in a negative spiral/combative. he messaged my family. i told him he should wait til the morning and he did it anyway. at that point i said whatever. the call dragged on for hours tho he needed to sleep for work. he was in such a state i didn’t feel comfortable getting off the phone with him in case he did something very risky, like driving drunk or idk what else. he talked about wanting to lay down on some train tracks…
AND he called me again at work the other day. like. on the work phone. he used to work there but it’s just… not professional. feels weird. esp bc he was doing it cuz he was drunk. told him to text or call my phone next time
he gets drunk and disregards boundaries. bc he also mentioned the dating thing last night while we were talking. and when i told him not to he sidestepped and kept going on about whatever rant. and he just argues abt everything when he’s drunk. DUMB shit. like me taking my bike apart to store it easier. like bruh leave me alone ??
in the end he called out of work, then talked to his sister and i guess she convinced him to drive up instead of doing something dumber. i asked if he was sober enough and he said yeah. which he would’ve said no matter what i’m sure :|
so. he got to his family’s place and i guess i’ll see him today sometime. i told him i don’t want to drink and my brother doesn’t wanna drink with him either, so we’ll avoid that at our house at least
he’s trying, but he’s also falling back on stupid habits. i just hope he can figure out how to get the help he needs
and i need to figure out how to keep my boundaries
the cats woke me up earlier. i need to sleep more before i see him. good night
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negative vent
the state of my life rn feels like a runaway train
man idk how people can just cook and clean up and not just completely feel like they’re turning to dust afterwards from exhaustion
idk how my family made breakfast lunch and dinner and navigated me not liking the main dinner as a kid and having to have something else bc just making one meal for three of us is enough to put me in the ground so the thought of having to do an additional meal alongside the first one makes my brain feel like it’s ripping itself apart with stress
I end up completely mentally and physically drained bc of all the different steps plus the anxiety of making sure I tidy up afterwards bc if I don’t do it immediately it won’t get done and it’ll build up
there’s got to be some neurodivergence making this extra hard but whether that’s just the good old fashioned depression or something else that makes it feel like torture trying to maintain just regular daily upkeep idk
my dad is trying desperately to make money in a self employed job that hasn’t fucking paid anything in years bc it relies on business deals he facilitates actually going ahead and reaching the payment stage which has literally never happened in the years he’s been trying to do it bc he lives in a fantasy land where he thinks he can make big money on big deals with people who do not give a fuck that we are struggling to hold onto our fucking house and who could fix our problems with one payment that wouldn’t even dent their mountains of money
so he is on the phone constantly and unable to find time to feed himself or my brother who sleeps until 6pm, won’t eat anything after midnight and is losing weight while already considered underweight despite me now spending nearly all day in the kitchen trying to get meals and snacks and shit for him to keep him from getting any more underweight
and I’m just buckling man
I have no time for myself to just sit and chill properly. Even when I try to get a drawing or something doodled out it’s done while I’m sitting in the kitchen waiting for my legs to stop throbbing so I can get back to cooking or washing up. I keep talking about wanting to get back to digital art and commissions once I have my hands on a laptop but the reality is even when I get that I might still just not have the actual time to do what I used to love doing
I haven’t been out of the house much since before the pandemic. I haven’t seen any friends since then either. My life has become a slog of wake up, spend the day in the kitchen in a constant frenzied anxiety cooking state, go to bed and be plagued by the Horrors making me just want to die and not have to wake up to more of the same and there’s no end to it
I’m still waiting for the dwp to give me the extra money I am eligible for and I’m dreading the winter after the struggle the last one was.
I’d have takeout more often if we could justifiably afford it. But my brother is particular about those too and only eats certain things so even if I had the money and energy I don’t have much I can work with. How do you fit a full day’s worth of meals into less than 5 hours when your options are further limited by what he’ll accept
I’m worried about him and his low energy. I’m worried about dad and his high stress. I’m worried about the house being taken if our money runs out. I feel guilty that I’m failing my brother and dad despite turning myself inside out to cook for them and tidy up after myself and make sure they get food even tho it’s clearly not enough.
and on top of that I’ve had a shitty wheezy chest for months presumably bc of the air quality in here bc of the dust and clutter that just has sat for ages bc who has the time to go through it and there’s fucking clothes moths hanging around spiders everywhere and I can move the clutter to clean around it enough
I’m absolutely clawing my way through each day and the only reason I don’t just give in to the exhaustion and spend the whole week in bed is the fact they both need me to do this
pre-covid my uncle used to spend more time here bc my granny was here so things were so much more balanced and maintained but after his mental health struggles in lockdown knocked him for six the state of the house stresses him out so much he can’t come near and it depresses him and as a result I haven’t seen him since last year at my granny’s birthday at the care home and before that it was sometime in 2020 the last I’d seen him
I’m on the brink of collapse and I’ve had a whole bunch of dizzy spells in the kitchen lately and yet I push on bc I can’t stop
I’ve become some kind of spindly pillar trying desperately to hold up a crumbling household and I’m splintering in the process under the pressure but what can I do? If I don’t do this it’ll only be much worse
fucking hell im so tired
#I just need to get it out bc I’m stressed and exhausted and tired of everything#weight mention and just. Generally a bad time#personal shite
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so goddamn sick of people telling ppl there’s a right and wrong way to be poor/homeless/on welfare/whatever.
i’m poor. i’m making 16 an hour, 80 hours a paycheck, make enough for bills and rent and phone bill but guess what? i’m bad at money. i’m responsible enough to try and make payments on time but if i’m at the store and i see something that’s just outside my budget but i really want it? it’s bought. i see something tasty on clearance? mine. i wanna spoil my cat with slightly better food than i usually get? she’s getting it. final space has a LAST EVER shipment of merch coming out? you bet your ass i did the shop pay “pay in four”. and yeah, this is fucking stupid of me. but if i wanna get myself a nice snack because i’ve been having a rough and anxiety-filled few days that’s on me. the people who help me out, whether by commissioning me or by lending me a few bucks here and there, have seen me do this. some of them encourage me. because life fucking sucks and it’s nice to spring for the latest ffvii compilation release even if it puts me a bit in the hole because while i’m playing it i can relieve the fucking stress and anxiety that won’t otherwise go away. (doesn’t stop me from crying at the end of crisis core but fictional tears are better than real ones.)
on to rent. idk if it’s everywhere and i definitely have no idea if that’s what loke is doing (guess what? i have her blocked so i don’t know ANY of what she’s doing! 😯 shockerrrr) but here in college-rich utah if you need to move before your lease is up you can sell that lease to someone else. sometimes you have to. rent is being fucking gouged to hell. the last place i lived? i had to move because rent was going up by FOUR HUNDRED BUCKS and my sister, whom i was housing after a bad breakup and who didn’t have a job for more than a month at a time during that entire year and a half, wasn’t helping.
oh, and messy houses? mind fucking off about that? my house is a disaster atm because not all of us have the necessary executive function to keep an area clean. ever had adhd? y’all go on about ableism and then bitch that someone’s got a dirty house...literally check yourself.
you don’t know the circumstances. and people who are poor don’t owe you every single detail of why they’re poor. they don’t owe you their grocery receipts. they don’t owe you a screenshot of what their landlord is charging. and they don’t owe you the time of day. there is a certain level of transparency needed if they’re asking people to give out of the goodness of their hearts, but for the most part i’ll refer you to one of my favorite posts:
#ooc; out of cookies#anti-callout#use this as a screenshot for your callouts idc#all your callouts are is complaining that someone hurt your feelings#and you caused me very severe anxiety over all this but now? now i just realize you've got nothing#call me out for whatever i don't care anymore#what you think you have on everyone is misinformation and 'wah they won't let me play with their toys'#i'm going back to more important things
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I’ve been experiencing suicidal thoughts more frequently for almost a month now.
I figured this would happen.
I’ve been going through cycles of back-to-back bad news, stressing over money, my job, hating my weight gain and feeling ugly because I can’t go do feminine things. I can’t express myself the way I want or feel like I’m a part of my racial identity. I can’t just get my hair done to feel beautiful. I don’t have any clothes that comfortably fit me, to the point where I probably need to throw out my clothes because I’ve had them since middle school. My eating habits suck. Either I eat too much or I eat nothing. I hardly have enough money for anything because bills, inflation, and everyone else’s needs. My needs can’t be met because I just don’t have the money or time for myself.
I thought moving away from my hometown, away from my dysfunctional family, away from a shitty job market, would help me feel better. I thought it would help me become more independent. In some ways it did, but my happiness has not improved in the long run. It’s been a year. I don’t see much change other than that I’m just working now. I work enough to keep myself off the street and to keep my car (that’s not even in the same state I current reside in) from being repossessed, but I don’t have money for my personal enjoyment or my long term goals. My friends are nowhere near me. I don’t get go out or on road-trips anymore. I can’t afford time off or transportation for concerts or to even visit family. My family and friends rarely call me. I’m the one that always needs to reach out first, and hope that nobody ignores me.
I don’t know if I’ll ever make it back overseas like I wanted because everything is so fucked now. I’m behind my peers, all of whom are living in other countries, teaching, working the jobs they actually like… and I just here trying not to think about dying. I’m trying to convince myself to be patient and suffer just a little bit longer, until I can finally see my hard work pay off. Except, that hasn’t happened in that last decade of telling myself that. I’ve busted my ass for little in return. I’m behind in my studies and in my adult life. I’m forgetting everything because I’m too focused on surviving. Now, I just don’t know what to do anymore. I’m exhausted and demotivated. The more I think about my goals, I have to worry about money that I can hardly hold onto. No language studies or art because I can’t even pay for textbooks or materials. I have to keep pushing things back. I hate it.
I’ve been frustrated with myself as a person for a very long time. I honestly hate everything about me at this point. I wish I had it together and that I wasn’t mentally ill. I wish I was normal. I feel like I should hurry up and die, but I don’t think I’ll act upon my ideations. I don’t think I’ve hit my actual limit yet. I’m just living so that my death won’t inconvenience my boyfriend and roommate because we just got a rental house. My grandmother is turning 90 in December and wants to see me, so I still have some reason to stay. At least until she finally goes. Idk. I don’t want to make others sad but I’m so tired of crying other day and being alone.
Still, I wonder how much more it’s going to take for me to crack. I need help but I can’t afford it right now. It feels like a race against time to just find help.
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hell and other things
So first positives. Cazza was extremely well behaved in front of two other dogs in the waiting area. She sat really close to a small heeler/cattle dog breed and they chilled out. Then a lab came in and she remained chill. Was very proud of her.
She is healthy enough for her chemo today!
And of course now the slew of bad.
I guess because of how long she’s been unable to have her vincristine the vet decided to give her doxorubicin today. For reference, doxorubicin is the stupidly expensive one. All my desperate attempts at budgeting this appointment along with the mystery amount my roommate was going to be able to contribute ended up being thrown off kilter because of the difference.
There was the added stress of them not taking her in until I had paid the withstanding bill from last time, which was also more than I thought it was going to be.
In the end, after today I am owing them $150 dollars. Which I will be able to pay because I’m still getting gofundme money coming in from Rob any day now. But after that idk what’s gonna happen. Roommate also wants me to pay him back $100 for some reason???? Even though he said he would cover two appointments and I gave money to him and blah blah blah I don’t even have the energy for this anymore. After the con he is saying he’ll pay that back to me again but *vibrates in a knowing and experienced way*
More good news is I get paid again in two weeks. I just have to hold out until then.
I have decided for this reason: the convention is a big no. There’s no reason for me to go when Cazza is sick and I don’t have money. Socialization be damned. My roommate doesn’t need my help setting up his table that bad. And it’s not fucking safe yet. Also I was debating buying a birthday present because next month is my birthday but lol nope.
I’m still also getting robot call spam multiple times every day often stupidly early in the morning which is adding more to the mental degradation I am experiencing. I’d shut off my phone when not using it if the vet didn’t sometimes call randomly and unexpectedly at random hours of the day. The spam calls are actually pretty scary with their tenacity. It’s the same shitty scam shell company but with a hydra head selection of phone numbers. I keep blocking them but the calls keep coming. It feels like I’ve been doxed. (I am 99.9% sure I haven’t, but as someone who almost was it does feel similar) I did get scam calls before but it was always on a once a month basis.
So Cazza is not here she is at the vet. I am alone in my room wanting to die of crying to death or whatever.
Seriously considering learning how to fast and significantly limiting my food intake. Puberty and stress makes me so fucking stupidly hungry. I am a beast. An animal. It is blatantly obvious to me why we hunted mammoths. Lots of meat lmfao. Anyways suffering lol
So while I might not outright be starving myself I did change my passwords for the food delivery sites and put those passwords on a flash drive and will hide it in a place where it is difficult for me to get it so that I don’t use them. I will only eat food if I get it in-person. Because no no no no delivery fees ever. This does mean that whenever there isn’t food in the house I won’t eat but that’s just going to have to do for now.
It feels I keep slipping further and further towards insanity. But then I remind myself that I was so so fucking bad as a teenager and in comparison I probably have it together right now. I am still not functional but at least uhhh... idk. I don’t remember where I was going with this tangent anymore.
Just writing out this stupid thing to pass time because I’m anxious about Cazza.
Ultimately I’m very glad Cazza is well enough for chemo today but damn am I not agonizing over literally everything else.
I should be prepared for Cazza coming back home extremely sick and throwing up everywhere. Fortunately I got to go to the dollar store after all and got packages of the puppy training pads and I will line my bedroom floor with them or something.
Going to be streaming throughout the week I think. Idk what else to do.
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❝ idk you yet ❞ - p.js
park jisung x reader | angsty, fluff | 1.6k words
WARNINGS | TW: mentions blood, abuse, drug and alcohol abuse, smoking, lowercase au, non-idol au, high school au, badboy!jisung, mature language/cursing, reader is like an angel sent from heaven for him, jisungie just in need of love :(
SUMMARY | being an outcast has him wondering if he’ll ever be happy. cue you, the new girl, stumbling into his life (literally).
AUTHOR’S NOTE | inspired by the song “idk you yet” by alexander23! also AHHH this is my 100 followers special fic :) THANK U LOVES FOR 100 IM SO SHOCKED CJSBFKEJD <33 the writing is a little crappy because i’m currently on my period and my patience for sitting down and writing this went down halfway through lol but I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, ENJOY THIS JISUNG FIC BC JISUNG MY BABIE AND SO ARE YOU GUYS!
whenever anybody thinks of park jisung, they think of the chains and dark clothing he wears. they think about the faint smell of smoke and men’s cologne that follows him wherever he goes.
they think of the boy who grew up on the wrong side of the tracks.
but what they don’t think about are bruises on his face he fails to hide whenever he walks into school, the dejected look on his face whenever random people give him disapproving looks, the way his smile slowly faded into a permanent frown wherever he went.
jisung quickly accepted his reputation at school and in their little town, not having enough energy to feel insecure about it like before.
the only group of people that even remotely cared about the boy were his best friends in the whole entire world, nct dream.
they were outcasts just like him, the most “fucked up group of boys” in their town (the people’s words, not theirs).
see, they were your typical bad boy group straight out of your typical fanfic. bad grades, smoking in their free time, getting into fights, always being late to class; not a single person had hope in them.
but behind their scary and intimidating facade, all seven boys were big softies with misunderstood hearts and difficult backgrounds.
people were just too dense to look into it, only judging them based on their looks and personality on the outside.
❝ how can you miss someone you’ve never met ❞
love was a foreign thing to jisung, the only form of love he’s ever felt being from his friends. his parents were… interesting to say the least.
jisung’s father was a hard-core alcoholic, his mother being a major druggie. with no siblings in the house, jisung was usually their main target to push around and beat up.
and so because of this at a young age jisung learned to distance himself from other people and found different ways to release stress.
he started smoking when he was 14, the warm and hazy feeling of the smoke entering his lungs comforting him.
if jisung humored himself enough, maybe smoking could count as his first love. it was always there for him, never leaving him alone even if he wanted to quit.
he relied on it knowing it was the only constant in his life.
now of course the boy has heard of proper love, love like in the movies or shitty romance songs he hears on the radio.
and he won’t lie, there were moments he thought about what it felt like to be in love. but he knew that would never happen, at least not in their small town anyways.
he just wanted to be loved.
jisung would never admit it but sometimes he’d be jealous of the old couples walking down the street in their own world like it was just them two against the universe. he was jealous of the happy kids running around, their mother’s and father’s fondly smiling at their child. he was jealous of all the “normal” kids in his neighborhood.
jisung wanted that, craved that.
but most importantly, the boy wanted love.
❝ cause i need you now but i don’t know you yet ❞
everything hurt.
his head, his body, his mind, his heart; everything was in pain.
jisung walked down the empty streets of their city, a trail of blood following behind him as he accepted his fate. the boy was 99% sure he had a concussion and at the very least had a few broken ribs.
he felt like this was the end, and he was ready.
-
wandering aimlessly around town, you decided to take a late night walk to familiarize yourself around the area. you had just moved into the city a week ago, spending all seven days trying to help your family unpack and rearrange your cozy new home.
now that you were finally free of the smell of tape and the dust of the boxes, you decided it was best to get to know the place you were living in.
the autumn air seemed to settle at night as you shivered, cursing yourself for not bringing a jacket of some sort. the sight of a convenience store up ahead of you brought you relief as you rummaged through your pockets wondering if you had enough money for ramen.
your steps became excited as you found a couple dollars, fondly thinking about what type of ramen you should buy. you became so lost in your thoughts you didn’t even notice the poor boy who was staggering in front of you, or the trail of blood he left behind.
-
jisung pushed himself to reach the convenience store a couple feet away from him, in desperate need of supplies to at least try and fix himself.
if it didn’t help in any way then oh well, maybe death was indeed an option.
grinding his teeth though the pain, he did not expect to feel a small body bump into him. had he been at his regular health, jisung would’ve easily been able to keep still but because of how much blood he was losing the boy was knocked down like a bowling pin.
“holy fuck.” jisung cursed the feeling of the concrete floor colliding with his ribs. he didn’t even notice the girl who had bumped into him sitting on the floor dumbfounded, freaking out over his state.
“oh my fucking god.” the girl said, capturing his attention. jisung glared at the stranger, mentally acknowledging the fact she was pretty.
but her being pretty won’t get you anywhere, he scolded himself. she’ll leave you just like everyone else.
“a-are you okay?” she said, eyes glancing at his black eye. jisung rolled his eyes, already annoyed. “does it look like i’m okay?” he replied, his deep voice catching the girl off guard.
“just, fuck off.” jisung said closing his eyes as he laid back down on the floor, knowing he couldn’t force himself to get up anymore. he didn’t even have to open his eyes to know she left, hearing the sound of her footsteps walk away.
the boy sighed as he laid idly on the floor, wondering what sin he committed to lead him to where he is now. not even she wanted to stay, the tears threatening to fall as his thoughts buried him alive.
“why can’t i just die?” jisung said out loud, asking no one but himself.
“because i won’t let you.” a voice replied as jisung forced himself to sit up in confusion. it was the same girl he had bumped into, but this time she had a first aid kit with her. he gave her a lost look despite knowing what she was here to do.
jisung’s mind just couldn’t wrap around the fact that a total stranger would even bother to help him.
“now sit up.” she said softly as she bent down to open the box, the boy slowly followed her instructions. “i’m sorry this might sting.” she said though jisung didn’t mind because she was much prettier up close.
-
the next ten minutes were you trying to fix his wounds against the shitty chairs outside the convenience store.
jisung didn’t even bother mentioning his broken ribs, not wanting you to freak out. you cleaned up what you could and the boy was beyond grateful for that.
you subconsciously rubbed his back in a comforting way whenever you’d apply alcohol to his open wounds, trying to ease the sting. you held his hand for him to hold and though he was a big boy and had a high pain tolerance, he still gave it a squeeze just to keep your hand there.
what the actual fuck is this feeling, jisung asked himself as he watched your determined figure work on him.
it was cold and in order to better work on his wounds, the boy offered to give you his hoodie which strangely had no traces of blood on it. you gladly accepted, the faint smell of blood and his cologne engulfing you up.
the sight of you in something so big and so him made his chest swell in pride.
jisung couldn’t even formulate a sentence as you cursed at the time once you finished patching him up, fleeing the scene before he could say anything with a small smile, his hoodie still on.
❝ and can you find me soon because i’m in my head ❞
the thought of your soft hands on his, your voice, your whole presence; everything about you couldn’t seem to leave the poor boy’s mind. it was now monday, and waiting for his class to start already made him want to go home.
if only i got her name, jisung daydreamed with his head resting on the palm of his hand. the classroom was loud and bright, people occasionally giving him looks but the boy didn’t mind.
“jisungie~ did you hear we have a new kid?” jaemin asked, poking the boy’s cheeks. the boy only gave him a pointed look before sighing.
“hyung i don’t really care.” jisung replied, looking back out the window.
jaemin only gave him an offended look before grumbling a bit. “i don’t know maybe you will.” he muttered under his breath as their teacher walked into the room.
❝ yeah i need you now but i don’t know you yet ❞
their homeroom teacher stood in front of the class, jisung tuning out his voice. the boy once again sighed as his teacher called for their attention, explaining they had a new girl in their class. “now make her feel welcomed,” he said before turning towards the door.
“y/n, please come in.” the teacher said and jisung almost fell out of his seat when he saw you walking through the door with the same smile you gave him a couple days ago.
“hi i’m y/n and i hope we can get along.” you bowed to the class, a familiar hoodie you were wearing catching his attention.
isn’t that mine, jisung thought to himself as he bit back a smile knowing you kept it all along.
#park jisung#park jisung x reader#park jisung x y/n#park jisung fanfic#park jisung imagine#park jisung imagines#nct dream#nct dream x reader#nct dream x y/n#nct dream fanfic#nct dream imagine#nct dream imagines#haung renjun#lee jeno#lee mark#lee haechan#lee donghyuck#na jaemin#zhong chenle#nct angst#nct 127#wayv#nct 127 imagine#nct 127 imagines#nct 127 fanfic#nct 127 x reader#nct 127 x y/n#huang renjun x y/n#huang renjun x reader#lee jeno x reader
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Hey!! Could we please get more sugar daddy fics with a black reader ofc 😋 idk if you've done shoto already but that'd be nice or hawks and deku💕
A/N: “wrist on glitter, waist on thinner, imma show you how to bag a eight-figure nigga” 👅💋
I enjoyed this way too much
All characters are 18+
Warnings: it got a lil spicy so imma put the line
Todoroki Shouto:
this mf has money to burn
we all know todoroki came out the womb w cash from his hair to his ass
he’s on some “yes, jeff bezos knows me” type shit so if you’re tryna end up with someone that’s gonna possibly buy you a house, he’s your guy
he slid into your dms after you posted a pic with your skin moisturized and glistening under golden hour and your body had him wanting to run laps
he had been plottin on you for a min but never got the motivation to do something about it until then
he’s a no strings attached type of sugar daddy
todoroki is a big name even outside of hero work and he’s well aware of all the people that have tried to use him. so instead of letting that happen, he’s decided to do things on his own terms
when yall first started talking, he questioned you like this was managerial position at apple 💀
best believe he ran an in-depth background check and made you sign an NDA 💀💀💀
he was a tough one
but you passed w flying colors and y’all settled on an arrangement
you have a weekly allowance that hits your bank account every saturday with some bonuses that he’ll give you depending on how the week goes
todoroki isnt needy nor is he one to be all up in your business
it’s actually weird in an endearing kind of way?
he only wants to have conversations with you
i mean, dont get me wrong, he’s up for anything you are
todoroki would be a liar if he said he never ended some nights with a picture of you and a hand down his pants
but that’s not what he’s mainly looking for
you figure out very quickly that shouto just wants someone to talk to
he’ll randomly hit up your phone and have a 30 min convo about something like the weather or hero politics, and then he’ll dip
next thing you know, you got $1000 in your cashapp
you kind of panicked bc like...wtf?
your dumb ass messaged him: “did you mean to send $1000?”
sis, dont put a question mark where God put a period
him: “Yes.”
and that was the end of that
you dont question anymore
he’s not doting in any kind of way, and sometimes you lowkey think he forgets about you, but you still get your allowance
doesn’t send a lot of gifts unless you explicitly state you want something
he doesnt text back a lot, but he tried to respond when he can
but i do see him liking it when you send him mundane things you do throughout your day, like pics of cookies you baked, or a cool plant you saw at home depot
and he enjoys the times you and him end up just trashing his father for nearly an hour. expect to find flowers, with some expensive ass coats or something at your door the next morning
he really fucks w your laid back vibe
sometimes he forgets you guys arent really supposed to be friends
Takami Kiego (Hawks):
this is not hawks’ first time being a sugar daddy
he’s hot, rich, and one of the most eligible bachelor’s in japan with a life that prevents him from having anything too serious
so, long story short, he’s a veteran at this
he used to be the type to reach out to instagram baddies but he had a couple bad run-ins and decided to stick with the official sites because it was a lot more secure on both ends
the funny thing was, you set up your account a long time ago as a joke. though at one point, you did take it seriously, but you came in contact with a lot of super creepy men that sexualized you for your skin and ethnicity.
you were tired of the “chocolate king/queen” and “amazonian god/dess” comments,so you took a break. you didnt have much activity since
so imagine youre surprise when the #2 hero hit your line talking about some
“Hey~ I’ll get straight to the point. I think you’re beautiful and I’d like to talk with you about an arrangement”
you thought this was a fake account, but after he chatting for a little and sending some pictures, you knew he was the real deal
hawks is your standard tit-for-tat transaction sugar daddy
he’s the type to hit you up at night with a “how ya doing, dove? got any pics for me?”
he’s good about his respect ad won’t do anything out of line
it’s the bare minimum, be he doesnt fetishize you so that’s always nice
however, he does make you call him daddy, sir, etc. whether it’s through text, call, or when y’all get together for...reasons
ngl his dicc game is fire
he might ghost you for a week or so but he’ll always come back with a nice check to make up for it
just be careful about catching feelings bc he’s so fucking smooth. he makes you feel like you’ve got his heart, but dont fall for that shit
if you think you can “change him” or fuflfil whatever wattpad romance fantasy lives in your head, he is not your guy. you better get on w your life before you get your heart broken
he’s here to suck, fuck, send pics, do a little phone call here n there, send some money, and go
if you’re not with all that, you might as well dip
but if you’re cool with that, rest assured, you’re gonna be living your best mf life with this man in your wallet
and good news, you might not be his only, but you are his favorite
there’s just something about you that’s got him giving you a few extra thousand than he normally does
he doesnt take his sugar babies on proper dates bc he’s gotta stay away from media outlets, but he will invite you to his office for a “lunch break”
if you ever surprise him with a cute but sexy hawks cosplay, you won’t have to work for two whole weeks bc you cant walk
overall, he’s a good sugar daddy. defintely good for your pockets and any other non-romantic desires you want fulfilled
Mirodirya Izuku:
the way you two met and came to this arrangement was more or less an accident
the life of the number one pro-hero was lonely and stressful
he’s tried to dip his toes in the water here and there, but it never worked out because not many people could deal with the fact that he’d always put hero work first
he was teetering on the edge of signing up for one of those sugar daddy/baby websites until he met you at some cafe he passed by
it’s cliche really. you were his server and, honestly? he was hooked on day one
he watched you intently as you pranced around in your cute uniform. he couldnt stop admiring your brown skin and eyes and how cute your hair was. you spoke with such enthusiasm and cheerfulness that he couldnt help but swoon. and it didn’t hurt that you were very easy on the eyes
he listened to you as you went on a spiel about how college was a fortune and how you stayed up last night for a project bc you had to pick up extra shifts
that’s when he made his decision
by the time the hero is out of the door, you collected the reciept and almost fainted when you realized he left you a $500 tip and his personal number
“i enjoyed talking to you today and i hope we can continue that...here’s something small to help with your bills. and i hope this isnt too forward but you’re very beautiful. stay safe. deku.”
and what did you do that night?
you called his ass right back
you were nervous as hell bc you still couldnt believe this was real, but after talking on the phone with him for two hours, an arrangement was set
midoriya is the most gentlemen like sugar daddy out there
you wake up to good morning texts and a few hundred in your bank account almost every two days
he goes crazy over your insta posts. and if you wear something green? expect a bonus
takes you out shopping unprovoked
izuku: “are you busy? i saw you were having a rough week and was wondering if you wanted to go to that new outlet mall downtown”
you: 🏃🏾♀️💨
you most certainly had homework due that night but what tf you look like missing out on that offer?
it’s after so many “dates” that deku realizes that he prefers hanging around you more than he should but he doesnt wanna ruin anything so he keeps that underwraps
he’s the idiot that goes into this thinking he won’t fall in love
deku defintely has some dirty thoughts about you but he doesnt try to bring it up unless you do first
if you’re comfortable with anything nsfw, you gone see a whole different side to izuku
he’s a giver, giver, giver, but when he recieves, he just about loses it
send him “innocent” pics of yourself matched with a string of filthy texts and he’ll combust
when you send him pics of yourself in deku-themed lingre, he deadass sends you a whole black card with your name on it as a thank you
you guys get very comfortable with each other very quickly
soon enough, DA’s start turning into y/n stayng over for a week
you both realize this relatiosnhip runs a lot deeper than an arrangement when he accidentally let it slip that he told his mom about you
he’s profusely apologizing but you shut him up with a kiss and tell him that you’ve kinda caught feelings yourself
your next conversation works out well for the both of you
#bnha headcanons#mha headcanons#deku x reader#izuku x black!reader#hawks x black!reader#hawks x reader#todoroki shouto x reader#shouto x black!reader#takami keigo#todoroki shouto#midoriya izuku#bnha x poc!reader#bnha x black reader#mha x poc!reader#mha x reader#mha x black reader#bnha x reader
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ughshdglkwegoisglkh....
so one of my closest friends is getting married, but... i have kind of mixed feelings about it because i’m not sure... like....
for the longest time, my friend wasn’t happy in her relationship, and she and her boyfriend broke up over and over again (my friend always the one doing the breaking up)... for a lot of reasons that i won’t go into because i could write 10 pages on it
and for YEARS i’ve sat beside her while she’s cried over this relationship and been unhappy in it, which is heartbreaking for anyone, but especially when it’s one of the best people you know. and part of the problem was that she’s very insecure and she didn’t think anyone else would want her (even though she’s legitimately the catch of the century), and also she wants kids and she’s in her mid-30s now so i think she feels like, this is her only chance?
so when she told me she got engaged, i just felt this horrible chill, because... i was worried she was settling for an unhappy relationship, and she deserves so much better than that (and also her fiance does too, although every time she broke up with him he pretty much ignored it, so i guess he doesn’t agree...)
but. it’s not really my place to make that judgment for her, you know? if this is what she’s decided is right for her, then i just want to be there for her and support her as much as i can. and we talked about it when we hung out a few weeks ago, and my friend was like “it’s totally good and fine now” but i’m kind of.... worried that she’s lying to me, because now that she feels like she’s getting married, she can’t badmouth or say she’s unhappy in her relationship? like she’s picked her fiance’s team, so she can’t open up to me, which just... worries me, i guess. i would feel better about it if it felt like she was being completely upfront and sincere with me (warts and all), but... like, i get it, i guess.
so. i already have a lot of mixed feelings about the wedding itself, yeah?
but also... it’s... so... fucking expensive. and i have. so little money
i had to pay for a 200 dollar dress and accessories, gas money to drive hours and hours away three separate times in the next few months, a hotel (probably for two nights because it’s gonna be a road trip just to get to the venue for the wedding), and now i need to buy presents too and i’m just like. on the verge of tears!!!! i can’t afford this!!!! i wish i had enough money where i could buy my friend lovely things but instead i’m panicking and dreading how much money all of this is costing me
and my brother told me that i should just write her a very nice letter and basically be like, “i will take u out somewhere really nice to dinner when i have more money” which i think my friend would understand, but i’m not sure if her fiance would (and also i don’t think... i think he knows that i “don’t like” him which is really just that i know that my friend was unhappy with him, so i’m not the biggest fan of their relationship, and it’s prompted this weird like... vibe to our interactions dglkhwgegiowigsldgkh god idk. not from me, but from him. he’s kind of passive aggressive sometimes, and i know one time he was arguing with my friend and said that i was like TRYING TO POISON HER AGAINST HIM????? i literally just sit there while my friend cries over you, how is that MY fault guwheogwlgweghiosdgslkgdsgdhsdg)
but also i’m supposed to be going to the bridal shower soon and everyone opens presents there and the idea of like, giving my friend an i-o-u in front of this whole crowd of people or whatever is so humiliating...
aaaaand on top of all of that. THERE IS A PANDEMIC. and with the delta variant i’m so fucking anxious all the time about going to all these things, especially with her family and i don’t know if all of them are vaccinated? i don’t think they are??? like originally when i said i’d go to all of these things it was pre-delta variant when everyone was getting vaccinated and it seemed like it would be okay, but now i’m just....
so full of dread!!!!! and so stressed about money!!!! and the wedding in general!!!!! and i’m so unhappy about it and i don’t know what to do and i just. lskghslgsghk 😭😭😭😭😭
if i had my way, i would call in for the bridal shower and stuff on zoom (avoiding the bulk of her unvaccinated family as much as i can) and talk to my friend privately about things but.... i hate the idea of disappointing her so much, she was SO HAPPY when i said i’d be there and support her and stuff, and she’s seriously one of the best and most incredible people i know and i want to be there for her. but. at the risk of getting covid and passing it on to my family? and also when i have so little money to spare? i don’t knowwwww
if i get married one day. i want a potluck with a lot of booze and i will get speakers and we can just have like a house party and enjoy the company of my favorite people and shit... all of this traditional wedding stuff sucks so much when you aren’t rich i don’t know why people spend so much money on it all sdlkghsldgkhslkgh
ANYWAY i just. really needed to vent. if u actually read this i love u, thank u 😭😭💖💖💖💖 i hope you are having a very lovely day!!!
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now hear me out,,, an au where lan wangji is an editor who works for an erotica publisher and wei wuxian is essentially chuck tingle. (also lwj writes romance novels on the side)
wei wuxian didn’t plan to write erotica he wants to make that really clear, he was actually studying like biomed or something equally “oh wow my parents can brag to the other parents about this”
but, as frequently happens in wwx’s life, he got drunk with nhs, like really drunk and they woke up the next morning with a laptop on the floor beside them and loose paper strewn everywhere
they don’t really remember what they were doing or thinking last night but they’ve both drawn a bunch of really shitty and weird porn (the less said about the anthropomorphic version of wen chao’s pet turtle the better) and wei wuxian has like 20,000 words of an erotica story on his laptop
when he starts reading it, at first he’s like haha what the fuck this is so weird but then it turned out to be really good??? and nhs blushed at some of the ~sexy~ scenes so that’s how wwx knew he was writing the good stuff
anyway they’re sitting there, eating their hangover food and wei wuxian goes so uh my story was good right? and nhs is like yeah it was, top stuff i would buy it and wei wuxian goes what if i actually wrote it,,, haha just kidding,,,,, unless?
and in his defence he doesn’t actually write anything for the story for another like three months but then he finds himself in the middle of exam season and he’s like fuck it stress relief let’s write some erotica
he finishes the book and his exams (which he does well in but whatever) and then spends his summer holidays editing the book
when he comes back, he slaps down a paper copy on nhs’ desk and is like i finished it. nhs, thinking he meant his latest lab write up, opens it up to a random page and starts reading it out loud which was a Mistake
he trails off mid-sentence, and whips around to glare at wwx with all the wrath he can muster. it’s raunchy nhs says and just read it wwx tells him so nhs does
like 2 hours later nhs turns to him and says if it wasnt for you and the librarian staring at me the whole time i definitely would’ve felt something and wwx is like so it’s good? and nhs is like fuck yeah it is but i dont get what you want from me?
pretty much wwx passed out after exams, slept for like 20 hours and then woke up and went i should publish this and decided that nhs should draw the cover art.
nhs agrees of course and a month later wwx self-publishes bc there’s no way he can walk into a publishing house with his porn and not just combust on the spot and he decides to go by the name yiling patriarch
wwx clicks the final button to upload the fic and nhs just toasts him and goes yknow what,, this is the closest you’ve ever gotten to having sex and i’m proud of you
wei wuxian is the man who guarded his first kiss for the first twenty years of his life for someone special,,,, wwx definitely wants his first time to be special and there’s no way he’s putting out for someone he doesn’t think is important & despite having dated before, he’s never gotten close enough to someone to go yeah let’s do it so our boy is still a virgin
so wwx’s entire erotica writing inspiration comes from porn, nhs’ way too in-depth answers as to how his latest date went and uh more porn
wwx blusters about a bit bc how is he meant to respond to that and nhs is like maybe you’ll finally move on from reading those trashy romance novels and read something more exciting and wwx is like how dare you call them trashy!! hanguang-jun is a master of the romance novels!! he understands the heart in a way that no other person has ever!!
and nhs just chugs a bunch of wine and is like yeah hon okay, do you still blush when the main characters hold hands? and wwx is like no! of course not! (it’s a lie, he blushes a lot)
so nothing really happens with the book at first and wwx forgets about it for the most part but then he wakes up one morning and he’s got an extra like RMB 1000 (i dont actually know much about currency so it’s roughly $200 if my quick interneting is legit)
wwx is like wtf? and once he finds out it’s from his novel he’s doubly like wtf? but then he finds out that someone had purchased his book and did a dramatic reading on youtube bc wwx decided that regular erotica was boring and decided to make it satirical or whatever and people loved it??
he’s got nothing better to do so he just goes hm yeah remember that Author i dated who had an “incredible idea that would absolutely amaze The Critics and helped explore his own convoluted mind” let’s make something of that and he writes another book kinda mocking that idea in a very horny way.
he publishes it and someone writes a review of his two books on their blog and now he’s actually starting to get popular - he’s got more money from those two books than he did by working at the local cafe for the whole week
wwx is poor and broke and semi-disowned anyway by this point so he goes fuck it and spends every moment he’s not studying writing erotica.
he publishes another like five books by the time the year is out (i know the maths isnt working here but this is a book world where wwx can just do that via the power of loneliness and friends who egg you on)
also?? he varies his books. some of them are porn parody things a la chuck tingle and some of them are genuine porn and one book was just him writing a recipe book but making it sound as horny as possible
by the time he’s published his like 8th book or so he starts getting reviews that are critiquing his book and most of them boil down to the fact that he needs an editor or something
he ends up asking nhs for help and he’s like oh sweet my brother’s boyfriend works for a publisher who does that sort of thing
cloud recesses actually specialises in erotica and i hate the idea that lqr has spent years reading and editing erotica but sacrifices must be made
(side note that i know nothing about the writing or publishing process so pls don’t judge me too harshly)
wwx goes in with his latest manuscript and ends up arriving like ten minutes late, he rushes into the room sweaty and hot, takes one look at the guy sitting on the other side of the desk, flushes an even brighter red and runs back out of the room. he checks the plaque on the door and walks back in slowly and goes hm i didnt expect you to be so hot
cue lan wangji
lwj has always enjoyed being an editor. what do editor do specifically? idk? edit? regardless, he enjoys it.
while most of the time he’s happy working from this side of things he also likes writing
lwj fucks. he deserves it tbh. but, while he’s had a tonne of one night stands and fuckbuddies, he’s never actually dated someone. so the fact that he’s writing romance novels under the pseudonym hanguang-jun makes his friend jzx laugh a lot
he tried writing porn once and he just couldn’t do it. it was always too clinical or vague and lacked any actual passion bc he was always going oh okay mc sucks a dick but the guy i slept with last week was like a 6.4/10 when it came to sucking dick so maybe mc should also be bad at it or whatever and it just ends up falling apart,,,, but romance he can do
as an editor lwj has pretty high standards for good erotica but he’s really found himself enjoying yiling patriarch’s work even though he’s clearly just been editing himself so when the guy sent cloud recesses an email asking whether they’d be interested in his latest book lwj was ecstatic.
he also didnt expect wwx to be so hot
anyway,,, we now get to enjoy a week of lwj thinking that wwx is super hot but even more annoying and then him deciding that annoying is hot and now wwx is just absolutely amazing and wwx is just panicking the entire time
i want my publisher to rail me so hard wwx texts nhs and nhs just responds has he read the bdsm scene with the alien who has a tentacle dick and a knot yet? and wwx is like no??? nhs just goes shame, it will give him so ideas for if you ever grow a backbone and just ask him out
they publish one book together and nothing happened between them the entire time other than yearning and horniness,, of the heart and body.
when wwx realises this means that he won’t get to see lwj again he immediately writes a new book and like a month later he’s back in lwj’s office, lying on his couch while whining about the cafeteria prices at university
lwj is very enamoured by the fact that wwx is writing erotica and studying biomed bc wow
they do this for like another three books and wwx’s eroticas evolve from here’s a dinosaur man fucking a politician while a mary sue watches on to be like here’s a dinosaur man with black hair and golden eyes and a stern look to his face fucking a politician while a mary sue watches on
and hanguang-jun’s latest book?? i dont want to say that this au’s version of wangxian is hanguang-jun finally finding inspiration to write porn (his muse is wwx of course) and writing the most amazing porn with feelings and plot novel ever,, but it is.
wwx read it five times in the first week and when nhs finally tried to read it he was like uhhh wwx are you a narcissist, the love interest is exactly like you? and wwx is like ??? no???? he’s nothing like me??
anyway one day wwx gets called into lxc’s office and lxc is like so i’ve read your latest book (not the dinosaur man, a serious one with like normal people and not overly humorous thank fuck but still full of lwj yearning) and wwx is like okay? and lxc goes yes, see i was worried that you didn’t care very much for my brother but after reading your book i’m not so sure and wwx gets the weirdest shovel talk ever which is interspersed with like compliments for his porn writing skills
anyway lxc accidentally mentions that lwj writes books too and before he can take it back wwx is like who??? and lxc is like are you fucking stupid?? you told lwj to his face that you loved his books,,, he broke his theme of tender romance to write kinky sex with a character that’s a lot like you and wwx is like .,,,,,,,,, hanguang-jun??? HANGUANG-JUN???!!
lxc barely manages to confirm it before wwx is sprinting out of his office and across to find lwj.
regretfully for everyone else, lwj is in the lobby so thirty people get to hear it when wwx comes in and shouts LAN ZHAN!! back then, i really wanted write porn about you! ... i think i have actually? but i want to write porn about you and i want to be able to do the research to make it accurate! and i also want to go on dates and hold hands and feed each other food! and i love you a lot!
lwj is dying inside bc his brother’s bf is there, his uncle is currently waiting for the elevators and a whole bunch of staff are also there but also wwx likes him??? dinosaur man was lwj??
he goes over and they make out for a really long time right there in the middle of the lobby but no one wants to get between them when they’ve been pining for so long
after that they start dating and they do all the romantic stuff but also,, let’s just say that the next book wwx publishes is a lot more creative than all of his previous books
and they become some writing power couple with horniness of the heart and body and sometimes wwx will be like hey lwj i don’t really know how the logistics of this sex scene will work and lwj will be like we could try it out ourselves? and wwx just pats him on the head and is like im sorry but you dont have enough dicks for it to work ),: better luck next time
#mdzs#modao zushi#wangxian#wei wuxian#lan wangji#im so sorry everyone#i just got the idea and it wouldnt leave me alone#cql#the untamed#mo dao zu shi#have i read any erotica? no. have i read any chuck tingle? also no. am i an editor? no#so this is gonna be very shit#this is why people should be sending me prompts instead of me just writin shit myself#nsfw-ish?
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Just Little Ventrue Things ~
I finished a Camarilla Ventrue run of VTMB. Mostly, the only thing Ventrue these days know how to do is Dominate, run screaming, eat hot chip, and lie, and [high falsetto voice] here’s a list of other nonsense I discovered:
PC’s name is Christina; she’s a Dominatrix because I’m bi. Her sire was one of her clients, and she’s actually very, very angry about his death. She doesn’t mind being a vampire. She’s Wiccan and part of a coven
In this Camarilla run, I decided I would only do quests given by Camarilla members. My justification was that, while Christina is intelligent and curious about lore, she focuses on tasks that immediately relate to her and her goals. She’s not curious about others; won’t go out of her way to talk to them. She’s not a bleeding heart, like my other PCs, and she believes in the Camarilla’s laws. She just hates LaCroix for killing her sire. Her plan during the game is to curry as much favor within the Cam as possible and cozy up to LaCroix so she can stab him.
Enough backstory
Nonsense time
Smiling Jack laughs at you if you don’t eat a rat in the tutorial. LOL. The Ventrue dialog is like “I could barely choke down the homeless man: please don’t make me eat a rat!”
The blood in the Santa Monica haven’s fridge is now blue blood. Does regular blood make Ventrue sick? I was too scared to experiment.
[spots Mercurio] I am going to steal that ghoul
Rosa: The people you’re looking for are up there. Christina, assuming Rosa is a Cam agent: Okay, thanks, bye
Never spoke to the Thin-Bloods again (sorry Lily baby ;-;)
Everyone except Julius still leaves when the PC reaches Hollywood
If you try to feed on Julius, he WILL kick you in the head and you WILL glitch into the fire, be on fire; run away screaming in Prada
You can skip the whole basement of the Ocean House Hotel if you manage to jump over the hole in the staircase???? Like?? You mean the spookiest fucking level has been optional this whole time I”M
[ghost appears] [Christina smacks it with an axe] None of that.
Club girls speak to Christina and I’m on the FLOOR
Therese “kills” Jeanette, even though I had enough oompa to make that not happen.
Therese joins the Camarilla and says she’s in good position to be the next Prince??? Hello??? Where is our Prince Voerman ending????
Went straight to LaCroix, called him “sir,” and he name-dropped Napoleon.
LaCroix tells Christina to go visit the Anarchs. She blows the Anarchs off (Nines made a growly face, Damsel dialog yowl-exited out after I asked if she wanted to join the Cam; Skelter threatened to murder me twice). When LaCroix told Christina that, while he admired her Cam loyalty, she must listen to her enemies to understand what they wanted, it felt like he was actually being a good sire and mentor.
That’s weird.
When Christina asked for his history, he very carefully explained his lineage, like the important part of Ventrue culture it is.
Overall, I found LaCroix-being-nice-to-me extremely unsettling.
Sir. Stop smiling at me, sir. Stop being impressed I don’t ask for money. STOP MAKING ME UNDERSTAND WHY PEOPLE LIKE YOU, SIR.
In contrast, LaCroix sounded genuinely betrayed at the end
Also made it more obvious when he started to lose track of his marbles
Ventrue PC seems juuuuuuust tall enough for her forehead to glitch into the ceiling of literally any confined space
The dirty Elizabeth Dane policeman didn’t psspspspsp at Christina so the whole ship was 15 white-knuckled minutes of making police dance and scuttling about
There is!!! A lot less!!! Talking in this game!!! Than I remember!!! She is only good at talking and ordering people around i am bEGGING
All EXP goes to Dominate and making Christina extremely charismatic and buff.
Ventrue himbo????
Beckett un-himbo-ifies her
She insults Beckett on their first meeting, spitting out “What do you want, wolfie?!” I thought this was appropriate because she died like, 4 times on that warehouse mission and was Extremely Stressed And Under Duress
Beckett’s response of “Oh, you’re too young to have mouthed off to the truly old ones yet.” makes his later snide remark of “the young ones are so temperamental” 900% funnier. Yeah, LaCroix! Beckett thinks I’ve grown and am now more mature than you! XD
Missions involving sex workers hit different when you’re a sex worker.
Christina was incandescent with rage at the Brotherhood
Grout’s mansion mission was a lot of “I have no interest in this nonsense.”
For the first time ever, I didn’t kill anyone during the Museum quest! This is because Christina ran very fast and Dominated every guard as quickly as possible. Every single fucking guard knew she was there, but could do nothing about it, because they were dancing. The door to the sarcophagus locked (it will do this if too many guards are agro), but locked doors are no match for noclip hack.
Entertaining image of a tall woman absolutely blasting into this museum room and Beckett tackling her to the floor like wait! I must snark at you! You are legally obligated to speak with me!
Isaac is still somehow a pretty chill guy to work with if you’re Camarilla.
Christina didn’t visit VV or Ash. Interestingly, Ash didn’t show up at the hunter monastery later. Did he just die in his club? Is he still there, waiting, deciding?
Christina @ Andrei: what the fuck is this shit
“I don’t care. It’s ugly. Clean it up.”
SEWERS.
Not as bad as I was expecting
Did take shortcut, run away from fights, ducked out in the middle for a snack, and bring 7 blue blood packs tho
Gary threatened to shred her face with a cheese grater, which I thought was Toreador only dialog?? It must be connected to the Appearance Stat. Which Christina has maxed out.
When Heather became Christina’s ghoul, I was delighted because I thought this meant Christina would always have fresh blood.
No
If you ask to feed on her too soon after the last time, Heather says she feels light headed and wants to lie down. The dialog exits out
I love you, Heather bb
Perfected the art of nudging NPCs into corners
Mitnick’s quests now feature Enforced Nap Time for all guards
Seriously, Dominate is ridiculously powerful, hooooly shit. I get why people like it. I also like it when people do things I ask them to do.
Christina can’t sneak, but she CAN strongly encourage everyone to choke on their own tongues.
Very high contrast in the beginning of the game: 2 punches would knock her over, but anyone she spoke to would obey immediately and without question
Chinatown goes by ridiculously fast if you can’t sneak and don’t do any sidequests besides Mitnick’s.
For the first time ever, Zhao survived! This is because Christina made him take a nap.
He just told her to leave
You’re welcome, my good dude
IDK if it’s a game glitch, but Christina would vocalize? In battle, she grunts with effort and pain.
Got to the point where I kept expecting Dominate dialog in every interaction and would get disappointed if it didn’t show up. What do you mean I have to actually convince people? That’s lame.
Christina was polite and charming to Ming Xiao, who also conveyed a deeper betrayal than normal at the end. ;-;
I promise to give you a Ventrue boy toy soon, Xiao
Finale arc quests went by VERY FAST because Christina can’t sneak for shit. Just run in, Dominate blazing
You can skip the outside bit of the Hallowbrook Hotel if you find the open door on the top level what the fuuuuuuuuuCK
[“A Little Party Never Killed Nobody” plays while Christina wipes out the Sabbat in 10 minutes]
Andrei disappeared mid-fight and didn’t come back until I complained that only I was allowed to run away from boss fights
I’m categorizing “triggering the interaction to save Heather” as something quite difficult to do. The timing has to be just right. I’ve missed it twice now. BUT hacking into the game to save her is easy.
I love you, Heather bb
Final Beckett talk had the vibe of “You’re a very different person than me, but you’re also High Humanity and trying to do good. You don’t deserve to die.”
Damsel threatens to kick the shit out of Christina and is extremely reluctant to tell her where Nines is
“Out of all people, they send you? All right, let’s just talk terms.” - Nines because Christina was short with him one (1) time
WEREWOLF HARD
You can just?? Walk out of your haven?? Without speaking to Jack at all???
I didn’t do that
But I could have
[”Dust in the Wind” plays while Christina kills entire Camarilla hit squad in 3 minutes]
You can visit Mercurio and Trip on your way out of Santa Monica??
Mercurio makes no comment on the blood hunt. Business as usual with him. This is fine.
Christina: I’m SO going to adopt that ghoul. And perhaps Isaac can be convinced to part with Romero...
(For the first time ever, my PC boinked Romero. Twice, to receive the break up email)
This is definitely a glitch, but Christina brushed up against Caine, and a worried voice said, “Are you all right?” It sounded like the same voice actor, but a higher pitch?
Always nice to think about Caine demonstrating care
Christina asked Caine who he is, and Caine replied that he “gets people where they’re going. [He’s] a driver,” which is a nice nod (lol) to both his literal job as a driver and as a shepherd/creator/god to Kindred. Caine creates and makes fate.
Caine triple checks with Christina that she’s sure Strauss won’t betray her. Thanks, Vampire Dad. :’D
For some reason, only other Ventrue guarded LaCroix’s tower. I wonder if this is intentional. Like all the other Camarilla Clans backed Strauss and left? So only LaCroix’s Ventrue lackeys remain? Anyway, it created some weird moments where Christina fought her double.
KILL YOUR DOUBLE
Sheriff laughed in haughty joy that he was to kill Christina. I don’t remember him laughing in other playthroughs.
Christina ruining Caine and Jack’s prank oh noes
#vampire the masquerade#vtm#vtmb#ventrue#Vampire The Masquerade Bloodlines#camarilla#smiling jack#sebastian lacroix#vtm mercurio#vtm caine#max strauss#heather poe#nines rodriguez#vtm damsel#vtm skelter#therese voerman#gary golden#vtm mitnick#vtm romero#cuthbert beckett#ming xiao#andrei the defiler#text post
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Preference: Reservoir Dogs.
How they celebrate Valentine’s Day with you.
CHARACTERS: mr. orange/freddy newandyke, mr. white/larry dimmick, mr. blonde/vic vega, mr. brown, mr. pink
TAGS: n/a
NON REQUESTED
AUTHOR’S NOTE: this took me two weeks to draft lol idk but i’m sorry if i keep spamming the feed w/ reservoir dogs content, but i’m also not sorry - leave a like/reblog + feedback and send in requests (check my blog highlight to see what’s open!!)
MR. ORANGE ( FREDDY NEWANDYKE )
he tries his best to make valentine’s day special
that would include surprising you with a bouquet of flowers at your door and a letter with his messy handwriting all over it
you still love the gesture, though and you just attack him with kisses on his couch
orange is gonna spend this day with you and you only
he plans on cuddling on the couch and letting you pick a movie this time, and of course, he kinda rolls his eyes playfully if it’s a movie not to his liking
orange is wolfing down the chocolates he actually got you........
you don’t mind, though, you’ve already fallen asleep on his chest while your movie is still playing on the tv
_
MR. WHITE ( LARRY DIMMICK )
lots of flowers, chocolates, stuffed bears, you name it!
and he’s taking you out to a candlelit dinner!!!
he’s a true gentlemen, and literally holds the door for you, wraps your arm around his, etc
oh and he would pop champagne or a glass of wine during the candlelit dinner
mr. white is definitely making this day extra special, as if it’s your birthday
and he’s paying for the dinner, of course
to put the cherry on top, he surprises you with one last thing; he got you a watch or a nice ring
_
MR. BLONDE ( VIC VEGA )
he puts in enough effort ok
its the fact that he knows he’s good at it, like he’s too confident of his charm
this guy is wearing a fucking tux??? but you make him change into something casual cos you start to feel awkward but blonde already has you convinced to wear something nice for the night out which is the fancy restaurant date (he obviously is paying for it)
lots of flowers, chocolates and a fucking record player!!!
oh and this guy is so bold enough to buy you jewelry from the same store the guys plan the heist at (he doesn’t tell you that, though. he left that detail out)
he’s definitely making valentine’s day extra romantic and that would honestly include bringing you back to his house
_
MR. BROWN
mr. brown gets so hyped on valentine’s day
it reminds him of the 1929 valentine’s day massacre which is kinda why he gets excited over the holiday name
but anyways he prefers using this day to spend more time with you
he’ll take you to see a rom-com or rent a movie at home
and brown definitely has chocolates for you two to share
but to be honest mr. brown would lowkey forget about the flowers and valentines card, but he’ll quickly brush it off and think the chocolates is enough
_
MR. PINK
nah he hates valentines day lol
he’s so bitter, mr. pink hates the idea of spending money - and he hates seeing couples being couples
would literally be walking and have a heart shaped balloon hit him in the face - he’d be so annoyed that he would try to pop it and kick it to the ground
but if he was dating you, he would be the one to stress over surprising you with gifts as if it was a chore
pink does love you, though and he won’t try not to bitch and moan at you about him hating valentine’s day cos he doesn’t want to start an argument on a day about love, so he would probably just buy you flowers from the local market and call it a day
and he doesn’t expect anything in return, but you buy him stuff anyways - maybe spend the rest of the day curling up with him in front of the tv, cos he wants to hide indoors after seeing the world coloured in red and pink for one day
_
TAGLIST: @locke-writes
#reservoir dogs preference#reservoir dogs imagine#reservoir dogs x reader#reservoir dogs#mr orange x reader#freddy newandyke x reader#mr white x reader#larry dimmick x reader#mr blonde x reader#vic vega x reader#mr brown x reader#mr pink x reader#reader insert#preference
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More Fire Emblem AU
So next house is The Blue Anteaters, where those from The L’Manberg Alliance reside!
The L’Manberg alliance is the youngest nation of the three, the second nation to secede from The SMP after The Badlands. L’Manberg fought a bloody war over it but victory was achieved. L’Manberg has no king or emperor and is instead ruled by a council of noble families, with one noble representing each family. The Soot Representative has traditionally been considered the main leader. Well, he was until tragedy struck the Soot Family. With a power vacuum currently in the alliance, infighting in the council has increased to an all time high. L’Manberg will need a strong and charismatic leader if it wants to survive. The Anteater is considered adaptive in the alliance and as such was chosen as the symbol. This years students in The Blue Anteaters are
Wilbur- Wilbur Soot is set to be the next leader of L’Manberg. He’s considered charming and friendly by most but those who have known him for a long time can see that something has changed since The Tragedy. The Tragedy involved Wilbur’s entire family being killed, along with many of his guards and servants. It happened when his family was traveling to meet foreign nobles. The family decided to stay in Eret’s family’s territory but while they were there disaster struck. The official story is that a gang of thieves found out where The Soots were staying and killed everyone there. However, most citizens believe that this is to cover up Eret’s family and even most of the nobles believe they had something to do with it. As a result of this, Wilbur is highly paranoid and doesn’t trust easily. He’ll be friendly to you sure, but that doesn’t mean he trusts you. He’s also developed a more violent streak and has many nightmares about his family dying. He’s very good at hiding most of this under a smile and a wave. All it would take is a little pressure for him to crack... Wilbur has a strength in authority, axes, and swords. He has a weakness in riding. He has a crest
Tommy- The ever energetic and loyal retainer to Wilbur. Tommy’s family has a tradition of serving the Soot family. Tommy’s older brother(probably one of The Business Bay boys, but idk who they are. I’ve just heard about them) was Wilbur’s retainer but he was unfortunately killed in The Tragedy. Tommy was very quickly trained to be his replacement and shipped off to Wilbur. While the two were intially hostile to each other, due to the age difference and both feeling mournful over their losses, the two eventually became less like retainer and lord and more like brothers. Despite Tommy being the one who’s supposed to protect Wilbur, it goes the other way around just as often. Tommy is desperate to prove that he’s just as good of a retainer as his big brother was. He struggles at times with a short temper and having a tendency to let his emotions get the better of him. He’s recently made a new friend in Tubbo, who he’s become very attached to, which makes Wilbur happy because Tommy finally has a friend his age. Even if he won’t admit it and will just call the other clingy. Tommy is very loyal to his nation and especially Wilbur and would never turn against him. He has been worried about him as of late. He’s waking up screaming in the night more often than Tommy likes. Tommy has strengths in swords and authority. He has a weakness in bows and heavy armor. He’s your classic glass canon, high offense but low defense. He has no crest
Eret- Eret’s life has been...rough these past few years to say the least. With his family being accused and though of by most to have killed the Soot Family, he’s used to whispers of traitor behind his back. He’s basically a commoner in all but name after his family was taken off of the council. However, Wilbur was suprisingly the one to provide Eret with the funds to go to the monastery, under the condition that he keep it a secret. Eret is here to clear his family’s name, even if he is a bit of an outcast among his classmates. He does eventually make some friends, such as Fundy and Niki. Eret is looking for a chance to prove his loyalty. He has a strength in faith, bows, and riding. Weakness in axes and heavy armor. He has a crest
Fundy- Fundy is a commoner from a small village somewhere in L’Manberg. At least, that’s what he claims. Fundy is actually a forest spirit who longed to see the human world. After sneaking out of the woods and saving enough money, Fundy is at The Monastery. Fundy can transform into a kitsune like beast using his beast stone. He rarely does this and prefers to rely on his own strength in order to blend it. While he tries not to get to close to his classmates due to him living longer than they will, he accidentally does anyway. Fundy is very creative and has learned to make patterns with magic. After completing his paralogue, Fundy can use his kitsune form in battle. Fundy has a strength in bows and reason (wind). He has a weakness in flying and faith. He has no crest
Niki- Niki actually is a commoner who lived in a small village. One day her village was attacked by thieves, but then the knights came and saved them. Ever since then, Niki wants to help people like the knights did for her. She actually meets one of those knights when she arrives at The Monastery, the now retired Philza. Niki saved up enough money by baking and her village helped her out a little. Niki is determined to become a knight so that she can protect her village. Niki is very kind and sometimes has a problem with making her voice loud enough for other to hear. She has high morals. She’s friends with Puffy, Jack, and Fundy. Her and Jack have started a prank war on Tommy due to the fact that they tried to prank him once and it didn’t work. Their other prank attempts have also not worked and Tommy’s not even aware they are doing this to him. She’s also close to Wilbur, which is a surprise to her considering her social class. Niki has strengths in lances and flying. She has a weakness in heavy armor. She’s a Pegasus knight basically. She has no crest
Jack Manifold- The Manifold family was the family sent in to replace Eret’a family. As such, Jack is set to be apart of the council once he graduates. However, he kinda doesn’t want to. Jack wants to become a mercenary and travel Carmine and beyond in order to see what’s out there. He has siblings but his parents his high expectations of him. As a result of this, Jack is a bit of a slacker in school. He’d much rather train than do bookwork, unless it’s geography related. Jack has become partners in crime with Niki. He has a strength in brawling and swords and a weakness in reason. He has a crest.
If Karl chooses to teach The Blue Anteaters, he helps them win the war against SMP. He also snaps Wilbur out of it when he loses it during the five year time skip. Basically it’s the therapy route for Wilbur, hooray! Also HEGEMON DREAM HOLY CRAP
Also Tubbo and Tommy have a paralogue together in this route. If Karl doesn’t do it, the Tommy dies during the five year time skip. If Karl does do it, Tommy is thought to have died helping Wilbur escape his execution (which does not help Wilbur’s mental state at all) before arriving during battle with a small group of defectors from Tubbo’s territory.
Tommy can recuriet Tubbo during battle if they have done their B-level support, even if Karl didn’t recuriet Tubbo. If not, Karl has to recuriet him before the timeskip and then convince Tubbo to come to L’Manberg’s side during battle. Or you can have Tommy murder Tubbo because extra dialogue and we Three Houses players thrive on angst.
Help, I need some ideas for Bad’s house I’m struggling
Oh god. I love Dream’s side of things but at the same time, I love Wilbur’s side of things. Fuck. This is why I don’t do well in choice-based games. It stressful. Oh god.
I love all these characters and I love Eret’s backstory especially. I love that a lot. I love it so much.
Also, ouch! Tommy dying if Tubbo isn’t with him? Oh no. That hurts. Oh d e a r.
As for Bad, uh. Okay. So I’m not sure what to think of but maybe something with the fact that they are neutral with the Church? I’m not sure.
#dream smp#dream smp au#smp three houses au#wilbur soot#tommyinnit#eret#the eret#fundy#nihachu#jack manifold#jack manifold tv#karl jacobs#tubbo#ask#tack-tick
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Y’all- let’s talk about how online school fucking SUCKS
Like we have too wake up at around 7-8am and having our parents telling us too get all dressed up and be positive just for us too not turn on our cams 90% of the class and slack off doing work. And during every 5 mins you have your parents telling you if your in class or too remember too finish your work.
Do parents not understand how annoying and Unmotivating that is? Being told too do your school work and asking if your in class or not when they could legit hear the teacher talking-.that makes children not wanna do work anymore. Like I know that I have 50+ missing assignments and I’m already stressed enough and having you remind me that I do makes me 10X more stressed.
And the amount of assignments they give too- idk if it’s just my school or whatever but they give way too much work then complain that it’s hard for them because they need too grade a lot of assignments. The answer too that is too. Not. Assign. A.lot.of.work.then. And if your in like in middle school or high school where you have different classes it’s even hard cause now you have a bunch of work not from just one class but from 7-8 classes.
And lastly I hate how people are like “iTS shOudl bE eaSy yOur DOing iT AT hOme”okay then but what if your in a bad house hold and that school was the only place where you can get away from it? What if your family is loud and you can barely concentrate on your laptop? And what if your family is in bad conditions right now? As in they cant pay their bills so their laptop won’t work until they saved up enough money too pay the electrical bill? There is so many kids doing online school that are failing because of stress and tiredness but teachers and parents still continue too make it hard for them.
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For the ultimate ship meme, Lion and Doc? I'm sorry, I'm LionDoc trash-
it’s all good!! whenever someone sends in an ask, i get an excuse to talk/write about one of my interests! really, it makes me so happy to be able to create content that people hopefully enjoy!! 💝💝💝
General:
Rate the Ship - Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs
How long will they last? - until the end of time, babey
How quickly did/will they fall in love? - it was love at first sight but then they started talking i do think it was some form of ~interest~ in one another at first sight, but then all that drama and lack of communication happened so they didn’t really allow themselves to even dream about the possibility of a relationship. HOWEVER! once lion joined rainbow and they talked their shit out like people who know how to cope, there was a period of a few months that is now referred to as The Four Months of Pining™, during which glaz did a lot of paintings where the subject (who usually bears an uncanny resemblance to doc or lion) is staring at something (or someone) longingly. he calls it his french period. when they finally get together, a LOT of money changes hands. and goes straight into sledge’s pocket (he was the only one who bet that it would take them this long). diana gets a brand new collar (handmade), bed (handmade), dish (handmade), and many new toys (some handmade, some store-bought. sledge’s craftsmanship can only get him so far)
How was their first kiss? - you know how the french are supposed to be super suave and confident??? and how gay people are trying their hardest but they’re just Not Good at things????? (i know these are stereotypes but stay with me). well, with their 5/8 french blood (i hc one of doc’s parents is fully algerian while the other is half french, half algerian), and their 4/4 gay blood, they have an 81.25% chance of success in matters of the heart. sadly, that 18.75% chance of failure came into play during this situation. picture it. doc and lion. romantic, home-cooked dinner. le festin is playing in the background. they’re holding hands over the table. suddenly, doc’s cat goes into labour. all hell breaks loose. lion is getting flashbacks to his son’s birth, so now he’s hyperventilating. doc carries him to the couch and turns on the fan so he can cool off and catch his breath, before carefully moving his cat, Rayie (arabic for gorgeous, pronounced rye-ah) to the living room in his handmade Birthing Box, then grabs a pile of blankets and a heat lamp and situates himself on the ground nearby so he can help her if she needs it. once the kittens are born (they’re twins!! Sadiqi is the boy, and Amirti is the girl!!!) doc makes sure they’re nice and warm and that Rayie is recovering, and gives her pets while she cleans her babies. once the happy family is all settled in for the night, doc walks over to the couch and just. lays down on top of lion. once he’s gotten over the adrenaline of the birth, he takes lion’s face in his hands and says “promise me you’ll be more calm if we ever decide to have kids” and gives him a BIG smooch while lion’s just short-circuiting like “does he know i have a son???? did i forget to mention my son?????? also what about these kittens??? are they not sufficiently childish to count as children????? DOES HE WANT KIDS????? does he want to marry me??????? wait why is he getting so clo-”
Wedding:
Who proposed? - lion. it was the day of their two year anniversary (yes i AM saying they got together the august after outbreak don’t @ me) and they were on vacation at doc’s family’s Secret Beach House. they were vibing on the balcony, watching the sunset, when lion suddenly clears his throat. doc turns to look at him and finds his boyfriend down on one knee, looking like he might flee to Bermuda. he’s reaching for something in his pocket. doc starts laughing. lion, completely misunderstanding his reaction, flushes and stammers out an apology. doc sees this, and immediately stops, though he’s still smiling gleefully as he catches lion by the biceps, then reaches into his own pocket and pulls the ring he was going to give olivier. they exchange rings, giggling like little kids, and spend the rest of the night making out on whatever surfaces are available.
Who is the best man/men? - for lion? montagne. (his son is the ring bearer and doc’s niece is the flower girl). for doc? rook. he’s so happy he gets to participate in his dad’s wedding
Who is the bride’s maid(s)? - for lion: finka. for doc: twitch
Who did the most planning? - both of them!! do you know how hard they worked to ensure the ceremony was valid in the eyes of both of their religions
Who stressed the most? - s e e a b o v e
How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.
Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - lion’s parents. they tried to call him during the reception but doc’s grandma grabbed his phone and started cussing them out, talking about dishonor and how they tried to disown him so they’re not his parents anymore, and besides, his new family absolutely adores him, so really, it’s their loss. once she hangs up, she pulls lion into a hug and he calls her his favorite, if only, grand-mère
Sex:
Who is on top? - who’s topping? lion. but sometimes doc gets bitchy so he gets to set the pace if you know what i mean
Who is the one to instigate things? - they are both lowkey horny 24/7 so 👀👀👀
How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now (only because they do get to see each other fairly often. if one goes on a long mission without the other, once they get back they will bump it up to a 10 real quick)
How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head
How long do they normally last? - idk long enough ig. maybe longer if someone feels they’ve been left ~unsatisfied~ they might go a few more rounds ;))
Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - ok it depends on what they’re doing but usually it’s one or two each, but on ~special~ occasions it’s either doc getting edged and denied for hours, OR doc getting forced to come over and over again until he’s begging for something, whether it be more or a goddamn break even he isn’t really sure. either way he’s crying and lion is consistently asking if he needs to safeword and otherwise checking in because they may like it rough but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t care
How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.
How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.
Children:
How many children will they have naturally? - unless someone’s hormones and organs get fucked, zero
How many children will they adopt? - probably none?? idk they’ve already got lion’s son and they’re both busy enough with work so
Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - NEITHER!!!!! DISGUSTANG!!!!!!!!!
Who is the stricter parent? - god i wanna say both. like lion and his attachment to rules??? but doc and his Mom Friend energy????? but ig lion BUT HE’S NOT STRICT TO THE POINT HE’S A BUZZKILL OR ANYTHING HE’S JUST RESPONSIBLE (he will NOT allow his husband and son to go vandalize the property of some islamaphobic brits, as much as he agrees with the sentiment)
Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - doc will only allow vandalism if it’s in the name of righteousness. meaning, he’ll allow their son to spray paint the walls of a goddamn walmart with shit like “eat the rich” and a portrait of robespierre and a guillotine, but it is a HARD NO on defacing places like the library or community center (unless he has a good reason to do so). lion spends his time praying and making sure his son knows which acts of civil disobedience are acceptable and which are distorting their goal
Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - doc. he (privately) dreams of retiring (eventually) and living out his lifelong dreams of being a househusband. so
Who is the more loved parent? - SHUT THE FUCK UP RIGHT NOW GET OUT OF MY HOUSE IM GONNA BEAT YOUR ASS. but ig lion??? BUT ONLY BECAUSE THEIR SON HAS KNOWN HIM LONGER. doc is half Dad and half Cool Uncle Who Gives Me Spray Paint And Tells Me To Make Myself Heard (to clarify, i know doc is a pacifist, but im kinda projecting my own sentiment of “we’ve tried to be peaceful but you wouldn’t give us the time of day. now that we’ve “acted out” we’ve gotten your attention, and rest assured, things are going to change.” he won’t hurt anybody, he’s just tired of having to be everyone’s “muslim friend” and educating people on things they could google themselves)
Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? - it used to be lion out of necessity, but when people started asking about his “wife” he was really torn between telling them that he and his son’s mother separated, but now he has a partner and his son seems very happy about it. when doc finally attends a meeting with lion, people really struggle to hide their shock. a few clunky but well-meaning “we support you”’s and “we’re sorry for everything that’s been going on”’s later, doc has used his charm to make friends with literally everyone. from then on, he is on pta duty on behalf of lion and his ex
Who cried the most at graduation? - lion! his parents purposefully didn’t show at his, so it’s a big deal for him to show his son just how proud he is. doc tears up a little too, but manages to mostly keep it together so he can support lion, who spends most of the day heave-crying about how proud he is into his husband’s shoulder. gustave just pats him on the back and tells him that they’ll run out of donuts if they don’t get to the concession stand soon
Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - doc. civil disobedience, baby!! he has never been caught. lion fears the law after his youth, so he tries to avoid any visits to law enforcement. he also can’t stand to see his son behind bars
Cooking:
Who does the most cooking? - doc. househusband, remember?
Who is the most picky in their food choice? - doc, but only because he can be a bit of a spice supremacist. he has to get his ingredients from these very specific farms and markets or else his great grandmother will begin manifesting in their house to curse them
Who does the grocery shopping? - doc, bc he does NOT trust lion to not just sweep all of the microwave ramen and kraft mac n cheese into the cart then sprint to self-checkout
How often do they bake desserts? - whenever possible. doc and maestro live by the philosophy “don’t do anything halfway” if they’re going to go through the trouble of making a meal, it will have multiple courses.
Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - doc is more of a salad eater but only for ease of consumption with halal laws. he adores filet mignon
Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - lion! maestro enlists himself as assistant head chef after walking into the base’s kitchen one day to find lion covered in flour and lying facedown on the floor, crying
Who is more likely to suggest going out? - also lion! though he’s memorized doc’s order at all of their favorite restaurants, so he usually just gets take out and puts on a big show of being a “tired housewife who works in the kitchen all day just for this one meal” and setting up the table so it’s all nice and romantic
Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? - lion. he tried crème brûlée once. never again
Chores:
Who cleans the room? - lion. organization is everything to this man. doc helps with laundry and such, but for the most part he leaves organization to lion and his systems (think leslie knope levels of planning and organization)
Who is really against chores? - neither! they both understand that teamwork makes the dream work, baby!!
Who cleans up after the pets? - doc, since lion’s already asked him which color hanger should represent “clothes i can tear off my husband before we fuck” and he needs a Moment
Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - neither. they don’t own a broom
Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - lion because of the deep-seated catholic urge to appear perfect in front of others, and doc because people will gossip, olivier!
Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - lion. he immediately called doc into the room and asked “is this your stash of drug money?” doc, who had been asleep because it was 3 in the morning on a saturday, just stares at him
Misc:
Who takes the longer showers/baths? - it is so bold to assume they don’t shower together to “cut costs”
Who takes the dog out for a walk? - lion is known in their neighborhood as the man who walks cats. there is a facebook page where people post pictures of him walking his cats. vigil is an admin
How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - LITERALLY EVERY HOLIDAY GETS DECORATIONS. lion makes his own for the muslim holidays since there really aren’t many “of good quality” in stores. when they first started dating, doc came home to find his house covered in ramadan decorations, and lion standing precariously on a ladder, trying to string up fairy lights while learning how to pronounce important arabic words. needless to say, doc cries
What are their goals for the relationship? - mutual joy and contentment!!!!
Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - doc. he’s sleepy
Who plays the most pranks? - lion, but they’re stupid ones like replacing certain pictures with danny devito. doc gets back at him by replacing pictures of jesus with ewan mcgregor, and putting yoda into his nativity scene. lion doesn’t notice
#ask#anonymous#r6s doc#r6s lion#doc/lion#ass alert!#could you tell i forgot whether or not lion's ex and son had names#thank you for interacting!
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