#horrible but hilarious
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slimecicle community, i present to you jort storm and juanaflippa, at the same time. the best and worst thing you'll hear today! feel free to use this however you want
jort storm loops twice, juanaflippa loops three times. skip to 3:07 where the high notes sync up!!
brought to you by a combined effort and brainrot of me @swagaythor and @s0up1ta :D
#i'd like to make a sensory overload warning#this is an EXPERIENCE you've been warned#add more sounds! add to the horrors!!#do with this whatever you please#its not a perfect loop i did modify it a bit so the high note sync was even better! you can still achieve it by playing the audios yourself#the first time i listened to both at the same time i had one playing through wired earbuds from my laptop#and the other playing through an airpod with my phone so i was getting different input left and right#horrible but hilarious#i laughed the whole time while listening to and making this#thanks to soup and ash for the experience :D#(oh and i made the cover art. in like two seconds in photoshop but i didn't want to take someone elses)#also not claiming ownership over this at all. just having fun :)#this was my way of coping with charlie's stream today#slimecicle#charlie slimecicle#juanaflippa#qsmp#qsmp juanaflippa
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Imagine if one of the soldiers lost control and dropped the coffin
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ok idk if people on here are talking abt this idk if I’ve seen it but one of the funniest/most awkward things about the immediate aftermath of the queen’s death was audiences that night going to see musicals on the west end, specifically Wicked. apparently before the show some official came out and called for a minute or two of silence in honor of the queen. makes sense. silence concludes, lights come down, show begins. the overture begins very loudly with dramatic and fast-moving music, moves to a slower section, and at around the minute mark, becomes a very brassy, loud, cantankerous kind of aggressive melody. and then, after a minute of silence and a minute of overture, the audience is greeted with the first words of this musical, the words that have started the musical every night since 2003, now being sung loud and proud in london on September 8th, 2022:
“Good news! She’s dead!”
#wicked#queen elizabeth#rip queen#like regardless of how you feel abt this you can’t deny that that’s horribly awkward and objectively hilarious
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if they made a homestuck movie:
VOICEOVER: it's coming...
*two drum beats*
JOHN EGBERT: *puts the disk for sburb into his computer* i'm in
VOICEOVER: this summer
*two drum beats*
ROSE LALONDE: *rolls eyes* john, stop goofing around
VOICEOVER: prepare to be stuck...
*two drum beats*
JADE HARLEY: *wakes up and looks around*
VOICEOVER: at home
*two drum beats*
DAVE STRIDER: *spins record* woah, this is off the wall, yo
*shitty orchestral cover of sburban jungle plays*
ROXY: but you don't understand! this game is dangerous!
*cut to dave leaving his clone behind at his quest bed*
DAVE: i can't do it... i just can't kill another me...
*bec noir appears next to alt dave*
ALT DAVE: he's right behind me isn't he
*fades to black as bec noir slashes a sword at alt dave's neck*
*text on screen reads "ASCEND"*
*cut to rose in her shed*
JOHN: rose, the meteor's gonna hit!!
ROSE: *grabs computer* *rolls eyes*
*text on screen reads "DESCEND"*
*cut to scenes of the war on the chess field*
*text on screen reads "RISE UP"*
*cut to john, running out of his kitchen*
JOHN: these imps are everywhere!!
*text on screen reads "ABSCOND"*
ROSE: it's all over...
*cut to the various sprites being sprited*
*cut to jake kissing dirk's head*
DIRK STRIDER: *standing nearby* *coughs* awkward...
*cut to terezi and john after game over*
TEREZI: john, 1t's 4ll up to you now...
JOHN: *gasps*
*cut to john and dave hugging*
NEPETA: *grins* :33< i ship ittttt
KARKAT: *facepalm*
*cut to terezi and vriska facing off*
TEREZI: vr1ska, you c4n't do th1s!
VRISKA: watch me!
*montage of vriska doing a bunch of random and cool stuff*
VRISKA: i can do anything!!!!!!!!
*cut to grimdark rose and dave*
ROSE: to win... we're gonna have to blow up the sun
DAVE: awww snap
*text on screen reads "NIC CAGE"*
JOHN: and i mean, of COURSE con air is the best movie ever!! what other movie would you even suggest
*text on screen reads "LIL NAS X"*
DAVE: man, this isn't even the best song in obama's whole rap career
*text on screen reads "AMANDLA STENBERG"*
ROSE: *rolls eyes* whatever, mom! i'm summoning cuthulu!
*text on screen reads "ZENDAYA"*
JADE: *petting bec* oh, who's the best dog! is it you?
*a bunch more celebrity names on screen*
*text on screen reads "BASED ON THE WEBCOMIC BY ANDREW HUSSIE"*
ANDREW HUSSIE: *sitting in chair* wait, am i still in this movie? do i still die?
VOICEOVER: yes
HUSSIE: oh poop
*text on screen reads "HOMESTUCK: THE MOVIE"*
JOHN: we're gonna save the world... or die trying
*quick montage of every single death scene*
DAVE: i think we're gonna die trying
JOHN: daaaaveeee
*text on screen reads "COMING THIS SUMMER"*
*cut to dave beatboxing*
KARKAT: CAN YOU SHUT UP?!
DAVE: are you gonna make me?
NEPETA: :33< ooooh—
DAVE and KARKAT in unison: DON'T SAY IT
NEPETA: :33< ship it
*they both sigh*
*cut to black*
#homestuck#sorry this is horrible i didn't mean to bring it into the world#john egbert#rose lalonde#dave strider#jade harley#vriska serket#terezi pyrope#roxy lalonde#jake english#dirk strider#karkat vantas#nepeta leijon#this would be hilarious though because i don't even know HOW they would fit homestuck into a two and a half hour long movie#it would be impossible
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sometimes I think of all the on-the-surface warm, well-meaning but deeply ineffectual advice and attention john gives harrow through harrow the ninth (make some soup and get some sleep! get a hobby! don't be so hard on yourself! self care harrow! as long as I need take no actual responsibility in this relationship whatsoever I would have loved to be your dad!) set up against the stark truth that with his other hand he has been staging her attempted horrific murder again and again and again like a living nightmare on the logic that it will 'put her down or fix her'. and then I find that I wish there is a hell. a special hell where twitch streamers turned necromantic death emperors go
#the locked tomb#harrowhark nonagesimus#john gaius#harrow the ninth#this is why I don't buy john as misunderstood and initially well-meaning AT ALL#this is a pattern you see with him again and again and again -- right down to his interpersonal relationships#(and indeed it's in the more grounded interpersonal relationships you can most clearly see him as he is I think#the fantasy death empire of a thousand years doesn't register quite as viscerally because it's like. heightened; not quite real#but the emotional violence and manipulation that surrounds him? oh boy that is EXTREMELY real and scarily well-observed)#there's a premeditation to so much of what he does (contracts with planets that only end 'in the event of the emperor's death' anyone?#yeah john we get it you're hilarious and I wish you weren't)#the greatest trick john ever pulled was making anyone think he's just a lil guy. what does he know he's only god#when you first read the book the complete callousness of the other adults is so horrible that john seems like an oasis of care#(though you start to get this uneasy feeling when that care never seems to translate to like... relief or soothing or resolution)#and it makes it feel almost obscene when you find out what's actually going on#it's the mercy & augustine enabler hour but at least they're completely honest in their cruelty there#while john is -- well he sure is being john huh#this is just me being angry with him btw philosophically I don't think this is how the story will or should end#(with john slam dunked right into hell that is)#it's just... harrow is so vulnerable. and what he does to her is so insidious and fucked up#john is very deeply human. unfortunately the capacity to quite simply suck so much is deeply human too
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Prompt 195
“Oh. It’s you.”
The entity that had been summoned practically growled, a cloak like swirling galaxies- or was it swirling galaxies molded into a cloak- shimmering around their form. One pair of arms crossed over a chest where a star pulsed with the heartbeat of universes, alive yet dying as lazarus green eyes glowered down at the league and bats alike.
“You know you could, fucking call, right?” they whined, aura of terror suddenly broken, unnatural fear torn away and leaving all of them wrong-footed and confused.
Well, apparently all of them except for Ras, who had an honest to fuck grin on his face, one that looks almost carefree, if a little feral. Nope. No thanks. Not this timeline-
“But phones didn’t exist last we spoke, ya ‘amar.”
#Dcxdp#Dpxdc#Prompts#Danny got sent to the past by Clockwork for a vacation/training the first time he met Ras#They became rivals of sorts and just kept meeting up#Did they maybe fall in love as well? No one knows but them#On the other hand Ras did get his main Lazarus Pit as a wedding gift#and both Ellie & Dan were half raised like weird siblings/cousins to Ras’ kids#do with that as you will#Fellas is it gay to call your eternal rival your moon?#Ras for once wasn’t doing anything evil- though he’s a horrible person#A good dad yeah but a good person? Eh Danny has gotten used to it and finds him hilarious#They have matching death humor to their past teachers’ dismay and horror#They’ve gotten divorced seven separate times and gotten married three#Depends on the century#half of the time it was either done drunk or for tax benefits
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he makes this joke every time.
#sissel#yomiel#ghost trick#ghost trick phantom detective#ghost trick spoilers#art#my art#fanart#comic#halloween 2023#bad horrible pun this joke has to have been done to death already#you wouldn't believe how long it took me do to the ghost world on god#all done in the mac equivalent of ms paint btw. yes those transparent people were painstakingly drawn by hand.#sissel thinks he's hilarious but it's not like anyone can see his jokes. his talent is being WASTED.#there's a reason sissel is purple yes.#the kids go “nice costume” to yomiel every time. he's not wearing a costume.#depending on when you think this takes place it's absolutely hilarious#pre-canon? dead man answering the door (interrupted from plans of revenge) and getting his fashion sense annihilated by preschoolers.#post-canon? catsitter forced by wife to go answer the door and getting verbally destroyed by kids because she knew it'd be funny#deserve#no watermark or signature because i forgot again. and because it'd look out of place#the big brain play is to make a joke so bad they won't wanna steal and reupload your stuff anywhere#took off the halloween tag bc there are GT spoilers
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Thank you. I'm sorry.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#jin guangyao#lan wangij#jin ling#LWJ shifting into fight mode was so damn cool. He is always ready to start throwing hands.#It's in a way that befits someone with a bit more bloodlust that his calm demeanor lets on - but nearly always in defense of someone.#What a great synergy with his personal philosophies! see that he is a Genuinely Noble Guy time and time again!#Is is also way more hilarious and unhinged than most people give him credit for? Also yes.#Nothing and no one ever said he did not or would not rip off JGY's hat mid-fight. I think LWJ needs to snatch more wigs LITERALLY.#Yes I'm delaying the part where I have to address the emotional turmoil of Jin Ling stabbing wwx. It gutted me terribly.#What is worse that realizing that someone you respected has done horrible things#than discovering someone who did horrible things being a kind and trustworthy person?#What is more horrifying that realizing other people are extremely complex and cannot be categorized into black and white?#When people hurt us or our loved ones we very much want to make them out to be irredeemable monsters. But they are not.#It is not actually such a terrible fate to just be a person. To be forgiven and forgive is possible. To change is possible.#This lesson is hard. It is something you have to actively challenge yourself to do. Black and white is the innate path to go down.#And its *why* I love Jin Ling so much. He is the character who fights the longest and hardest to challenge social and personal beliefs#He gets a pass for stabbing wwx for being so deliciously conflicted and tormented by it.#And with wrists THAT limp I can't imagine the wound was particularly deep
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With episode 7 on the horizon, I'd like to share an interesting observation before I leave the house today
#murder drones#shitpost#fingers crossed that episode 7 continues this#because it would make whatever horrible incident that lead up to it hilarious
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that's basically how it went, right?
#tomgreg break up scene#i hate the fact that i find this scene horrible and hilarious simultaneously#succession#tomgreg#greg hirsch#tom wambsgans#spending too much time doing edits like this on photoshop i need to be stopped
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i know in retellings draco always befriends hermione because he's a nerd or whatever but this morning i was thinking of a retelling where draco befriends ron because he literally just bribes him. like he sees that harry won't bother with him and lbr no one wanted to be friends with first year hermione but ron seems like he'd be easily bought and draco's dad told him those are the easiest people to get on your side. and also wouldn't it be fun to steal away harry potter's anointed best friend?
so he's like "i'm willing to forget you laughed at my name on the train" and literally just buys ron things until he stops being indignant. he buys him a new wardrobe. endless sweets and toys. he writes to his mother like "hello i'm working on something here can u help" and narcissa is immediately on board.
and ron totally is easily bought. he really is. he pretends to still hate draco but also his mother taught him some manners so it's only polite to accept the little git's gifts. his siblings are sick with jealousy, it's great.
and slowly ron's like "maybe he's not so bad" and progresses to "yes he's weird but i've gotten him to stop with the slurs so" to actual friendship that harry and hermione eventually come around to, too.
#harry potter#ron weasley#draco malfoy#drarry#because teenage ron dealing with his best friends dating?? impeccable#also it's crucial that this happens in first year before ron is old enough to prioritize pride over getting cool stuff lol#harry (who's experienced spoiled dudley his whole life): but can't you see he's just trying to buy your friendship!!#ron: well yes but no one ever buys me anything so 🤷🏼♀️#this is a horrible friendship origin btw i get that the hermione nerd one is nicer but#it's also hilarious#just thinking thoughts on a star splitter friday ✨#headcanons
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congrats to bravern for making the scene where a naked and bound isami violently sobs into the shirt of his fallen comrade one of the funniest scenes of the episode
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Please I-
WHY?!?!??
*DO NOT REPOST MY ART*
#sonic#sonic the hedgehog#sonic movie 2#sonic prime#ugly sonic#chip n dale 2022#incorrect quotes#oH GOD HE'S BACK!!!#WWWHHHYYYY?????#He's horrible I hate it thanks#like it's so bad that it's hilarious#i'm sobbing#he's actually real#please#why??#i'm scared to watch the movie#hhhhhh#do not repost#my art
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I needed to get this out 'cause I've been chewing on it for a few days now but couldn't word so hot.
So have a snippet of the self indulgent project
You looked down at the man sitting on your couch, "d'you want me to bring this up now or when your friends leave?"
His brow furrows, "what's it about?"
"You told me if you forgot to-"
"Oh fuckin hell-"
"- do the one thing you had on your to-do list before you left for me to badger you."
A long, begrudging sigh, "yes."
"And did you do it."
"No."
"Okay. Do you want to do this now or later?"
He leaned back, putting his drink down and crossing his arms, "do your worst."
You nod, nudging a leg so he stopped manspreading enough for you to sit just on the edge of his knees, ignoring how his brow raised as you put your hands on his shoulders, "you acknowledge that if you stand up to try to walk away from this I'll fall and crack my head open on the coffee table, yes? Making a giant mess you'd have to clean up? If not hide a body," he gives a grunt you take for assent, "good. Do you accept the terms and conditions?"
"'M waitin' doll."
"Alright, as you wish," you move one hand from his shoulder to cup his cheek, making direct eye contact as you begin, "you have value beyond what you can do for other people or your country, people legitimately enjoy being around you."
You watch in glee as his eyes widen, realizing what exactly he just let himself get roped into, "wait-"
You don't let the mirth show on your face as you continue with a matter-of-fact tone, "you have more patience than you let people think and that's a commendable skill- no it is not just a work requirement do not try that excuse with me. That's better. You listen well- no not just to orders close your mouth there's no deflecting from this- you actually listen not just hearing. You listen to me ramble about the dumbest shit. You have excellent suggestions and a good perspective when someone needs to take a step back. Despite what you may think, if you didn't have redeeming qualities outside of your job the FC wouldn't like you. They love you- don't even try to deny it- they're all excited for you to bring Fish back around. You're funny and I love exchanging the worst jokes known to man and several known only to dolphin with you. Need I say more?"
"Rather you didn't."
"For that I'm adding you have beautiful eyes and a wonderful ass," and on that note you patted his cheek and slid off his lap to stand up, "anyway per your request it's still on your list, I did run out and pick up more of your bodywash and got you a new shampoo and conditioner. They're all separate this time it's great you should try it. While you figure out how that works I'm gonna toss your biohazard of a mission outfit into the wash. If I'm not back in 10 send for a priest they probably gained sentience and ate me. I expect you to avenge me if that's the case."
#rambles from the morgue#I have a horrible case of thinking I'm hilarious#And i wanna give these poor fuckers nice things for some reason#So here I am with this ramble that will eventually take its rightful place in the progress doc but I haven't made it here yet#So yanno. Eventually
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Yeah sorry your boyfriend got turned into a Luminous Orb. Yeah no, a Reviver Seed wouldn't have saved him. At least he'll brighten up the surrounding area and show you where the stairs are now.
#Of all the items Grovyle could've been turned into...#this is definitely the most hilarious#pmd#pmd2#Grovyle#Dusknoir#pokemon mystery dungeon#also sorry this looks horrible my phone's camera is terrible and I'm not exactly the greatest at keeping still#I wanted the video to be a bit shorter but tumblr decided to not let me upload the trimmed version :/#oh. it's queue.
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Thoughts on the Alysanne is Maegor's daughter AU? I feel like it has some interesting potential, and it vastly recontextualizes different parts of Jaehaehae (I do not like him sjsjsjs) and Alysanne's relationship (such as Jaehaehae's treatment of their daughters) but I wanna hear what you think about it!
I’ve touched on this a bit before but since you actually want to hear my thoughts, allow me to present to you my Jaehaerys Is The Goddamn Worst, And Alysanne Annoys Me Too: An Essay lmao but my answer is basically “yeah all of what you just said.”
I think it makes Alysanne much more palatable (to me) as a character because as she stands, she just fixates on forcing her daughters through these fucked up marriages at too young an age bc it traumatized her to be married and pregnant at 15 too but she’d never admit that being a willing participant in her own kidnapping by her brother-husband was the single worst thing that ever happened to her, and because Alysanne doesn’t want to admit it (and Jaehaerys would never see it as wrong or a mistake) F&B really shies away from delving into the fact that Alysanne is as deranged of a mother as Cersei is. So as she stands, she’s very flat to me because she’s presented very flatly and inconsistently. She’s so in love with Jaehaerys, she’s maritally raped by Jaehaerys, she’s a loving and doting mother, she forces her daughters into marriages when they’re the same too young age she was, she accuses her teenage girls of being scheming whores then gets angry when her husband accuses their teenage girls of being scheming whores, and worst of all we are just told “Maegelle tells them to make up so they do” so we don’t know why Alysanne gets over all of this. What is the point of riding a dragon when you never use that dragon to protect your daughters from unwanted teen marriages? We’re just not given a good enough justification for why her behavior is so weird and frustrating towards her daughters.
Make her Maegor’s daughter though…most of her behavior as an adult makes more sense. Like a worse version of Rhaenyra’s childhood almost - a father desperate for a son, but lowkey obsessed with his daughter, who makes all his hang ups about his parents the problems of every woman around him, except Maegor is out here blood sacrificing and torturing and starting wars and forcing babies on wives he discards quickly and brutally. Then here comes Jaehaerys on a white horse green dragon to save her from the horror her life has become, and he loves her so much he runs away with her even though Alyssa says they shouldn’t marry because people won’t like it. And they have beautiful children, and a beautiful marriage, and build a beautiful kingdom.
Then her pregnancies start getting dangerous. Gaemon, then Valerion, die. Alysanne thinks of the shriveled up mutants she called brothers, if Maegor’s taint has passed to her. Her perfect husband ignores her no, and forces Gael on her. Alysanne remembers that he said nothing to Rogar when Alyssa died, merely wept. Then her daughters start to die. Daella, Alyssa, Viserra, all within a few years. Then Jaehaerys makes Saera watch as he murders her boyfriend, calls her a whore, and says Alysanne cannot follow Saera to Lys. Alysanne thinks of Maegor torturing the Harroways over Alys’ presumed infidelity. Jaehaerys says he’s sorry, and her daughter badgers her into forgiving him, and she remembers how she helped Jaehaerys badger Alyssa into forgiving Rogar. Not two years later, Jaehaerys passes over Rhaenys. Alysanne thinks of how she was never enough for her father, how she felt so superior to Rhaena banished to Dragonstone and resented by Aerea, yet there she is dragging Gael away from court because she can’t stand to be with Jaehaerys. How her father was surrounded by dead women and dead babies and how Jaehaerys is surrounded by his own dead daughters, but surely she did the right thing, surely Maegor was worse, surely the realm is better off? Is he right to pass over Rhaenys? Is she enabling a man just as monstrous as her father? She will never decide, because Maegelle will guilt her about keeping Gael isolated at Dragonstone, and Alysanne will do as she’s told, just like Rhaena, and Alyssa, and Jeyne, Elinor, Ceryse, Alys, and Tyanna, just like every one of her daughters.
I do get why Alysanne is Alyssa & Aenys’ and not Maegor’s. The weird Targ babies, the line not descending from Visenya, Jaehaerys and Alysanne being held up as the perfect Targaryen couple specifically because they are brother and sister and dragon riders. I do even think canon Alysanne is likely traumatized by her time as a hostage on Dragonstone, and the ensuing war, and the trauma bond that caused with Jaehaerys, and it makes her idolize Jaehaerys, and then he isolates her at Dragonstone so he can swiftly and safely marry, groom, and knock her up. It’s not like,,,, a fun time, and it’s enough to make anyone crazy and weird about their daughters, but I think having her father be Maegor makes Alysanne herself much deeper because it gives her, as the most beloved Targaryen queen, a blood tie to the most hated Targaryen king, and a marriage to the most beloved Targaryen king. It fits better with a lot of the themes of the main series (again, imo) - forcing the spotlight on the outsiders to see how the affect the story from behind the scenes. The fall of Aegon’s sons, and The Long Reign, not told from the PoV or to serve the PoV of any of the kings or princes, but of the queen that tied them all together.
#anti jaehaerys i targaryen#f&b critical#fire and blood critical#asks#thesadboy#like he kind of does this with aenys & maegor by focusing on alyssa and rhaena and the wives and visenya.#but the Moment jaehaerys enters the scene he completely dominates it. the same way daemon and aemond do actually.#but this is not. it should not!! be their story. that’s not how the main series is told anyway!!#if f&b isn’t told by a dornish maester than it should have been written by a septa!!!#nuns wrote books!!!!!#rich noblewomen wrote novels and poetry!!!!!!!#GEORGE DO YOU READ WOMEN. I AM NO LONGER ASKING POLITELY.#i went to look for her mother and apparently this was just a mistake elio made and i’m even more depressed. i can’t believe i’m saying this#but elio damn your mind.#i bet he saw that and went ‘wait which one is her fucjing mother’ and george was like what in the goddamn hell are you talking about.#idk who would be her mother in this au. if we want to keep her within 3 ish years of jaehaerys it Has to be alys or ceryse. ceryse hightowe#is the hilarious and obvious choice. but don’t count out alys harroway second wife here either.#then there’s rhaena as her mother which with the canon timeline makes him 12 years older and isn’t THAT horrible let’s stop here actually.
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