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nineteenninety-six · 1 year

Note

HI EJDBJEBJ pls pls can u do a banda sunato imagine?

where he meets reader at the jack of hearts game and he fell in love at first sight and he was not expecting it because he's a serial killer and there he sees reader (doesnt need to be fem) and like gad damn hi why did i just meet u today. and he swears to like,, protect the reader.

bonus ig is that reader is close to chishiya

I change a few things from the episode but hopefully, it still makes sense lol and Banda is ooc. Also, it's funny seeing the likes go up for my Arisu fic since the second season was released.

I made this gn but if you see any gendered language please tell me so I can correct it!

YN trailed behind Chishiya as they entered the prison where the Jack of Hearts game was being held. After being separated from the rest of the group, the two of them were trying to get back to them whilst entering the face card games.

Well, YN was focused on getting back to the group whilst Chishiya took his sweet time, eagerly seeking out the blimps that flew over Tokyo.

His eyes lit up when he realised that they were near the Jack of Hearts game, and though he says he was not suited for them, YN believed that Chishiya was intelligent to the point he could adapt to all of the card types, except maybe Spades but he would figure a way out for that too as he did with the Tag game.

If it wasn’t for the fact that their visa was going to expire soon, YN would be sitting outside of the prison waiting for Chishiya to return but unfortunately, the borderlands were cruel so here they were putting their life on the line yet again.

They slipped the collars on as instructed and made their way into the guard room where about ten people were waiting and judging from the table of collars by the entrance, it was going to be a high-number player game.

Chishiya found a shadowed alcove where he could see the entrance and everyone else who was already there. YN took their place next to him and together they waited for the rest of the players to join.

Eventually, the last player joined and the tension and fear in the room amplified as the screen in the room lit up and the automated voice rattled through the speakers and everyone’s attention was directed to it.

“Difficulty, Jack of Hearts.”

“Game, Prison Cell”

┆彡

Banda stepped into the guardroom and set his gaze upon the other players in the guardroom. Some nervously avoided eye contact, others squared their shoulders and made themselves bigger as others hid in the shadows.

Nothing unusual, he noted. After all, they were all forced to participate in these death games but some adapted better than others. Some people thrived and dominated the games whilst others simply rode on their coattails, surviving off the backs of others.

Banda turned his attention back to the screen, listening to the instructions as they were explained.

“Rules. Guess the suit that appears on the back of your collar. However, you cannot see your own suit. The time limit per round is one hour. Five minutes before the time is up enter one of the prison cells and guess what your own suit is. If you do not guess your suit correctly, the game is over for you. When time runs out, your collar will explode and you will die. In addition, your suit will change at every round.”

People fiddled with their collars, twisting and turning but their design made it impossible.

“But we just need to have someone tell us what it is, right? That'll be easy” A young man excitedly exclaims on the other side of the room, bringing Banda’s attention to him and consequently to YN as they move out of the shadows when the man next to them responds.

“I wouldn't be so sure. They haven't told us how to clear the game.”

Banda pays no attention to the voice as it finishes explaining the rules as he was hooked on the mysterious person on the opposite side of the room.

He was down bad and they hadn’t even shared a word.

┆彡

YN watched as everyone started to team up but distrust was thick in the air. Reality has settled in, it would be hard to clear this game and most will die as distrust and backstabbing fester.

The young man in what YN thought was quite an adorable set-up of a yellow t-shirt and dungarees, turns to them “Hey, let’s tell each other”

“If you want to survive, you need to observe everyone here very closely. You need to remember everyone who doesn’t lie. Besides, I could be the Jack of Hearts myself…”

YN tunes out Chishiya, their gaze focused on the man who is steadily approaching them from the other side of the room. He was cute, with a sweet smile and broad shoulders.

His eyes are only on YN and as he stops in front of them, it pulls Chishiya from his conversation but he remains silent as he watches on.

“Do you want to partner up?” The man asked eagerly, “We’re stronger in pairs.”

Chishiya makes a noise of amusement which causes the man's eyes to flicker over to him.

“...Unless you’ve already partnered up” The man glared slightly at Chishiya

“No, no… we can all group up.” YN quickly spoke up, trying to diffuse the tension between the two men. Chishiya had the ability to piss anyone and everyone off, including YN several times.

When the man looked back over at YN, they introduced themselves, holding out a hand that the man eagerly shook and introduced himself.

“Banda.” He smiles, “Banda Sunato”

YN returns his smile and twists around, showing him the back of their collar, “Do you mind telling me mine?”

Banda steps closer to look at the collar before gently tugging YN back around to face him. The physical contact was unneeded but YN didn’t mind. In fact, they kind of liked it.

“Club.”

YN tells him and Chishiya’s theirs before they have to go into the cells to call out their suit.

There are no deaths this round and everyone breathes a sigh of relief as they step out of their cells.

Immediately Banda makes their way over to YN with a smile, not wanting to be separated from them for longer than he has to.

Chishiya watches as they head to the food room, racking his brain, trying to remember where he remembers the name Banda Sunato from.

┆彡

“You know, I wonder how long this will last”

The words of the man next to Banda catch YN’s attention, so they listen in on their conversation.

“Either the Jack will start killing people, or someone who’s afraid they’ll be killed will start killing others. Until one of those things happens, this will never end.” Banda explains.

“That’s exactly right.” Chishiya jumps in.

“As long as we’re all telling each other, we’ll be fine.” The man in the yellow shirt, Ippei, tries to look on the brighter side of things.

YN gives him a sympathetic smile, “I wouldn’t be so sure.”

Their conversation is interrupted by shouting and a young man being shoved to the floor. Everybody turns to watch as a bald man shouts at the frightened younger man to tell him his suit.

YN tries to move forward to help him but is stopped by Chishiya who shakes his head at them, motioning to what Banda was currently doing.

When YN hears the muffled explosion and thump that echoes through the prison at the end of the round, they realise what Banda had done.

┆彡

Banda watches as YN snacks on a packet of cookies, finding everything they do utterly endearing and adorable.

“You know…” He begins to speak, catching YN’s attention, “I would never betray you. I’ll protect you.”

He takes YN’s hand in his, holding it tightly but their moment is interrupted by the arrival of Chishiya.

“Eyy, for all we know you can be the jack of hearts.”

Banda glares at Chishiya. So does YN. Trust him to stir up shit.

“So could you.”

Chishiya points at YN, “They can vouch for me”

Banda looks over to YN who rolls their eyes and nods, “I’ve had the misfortune of knowing Chishiya since I came to the borderlands. He’s not the Jack. Neither am I, by the way.”

Banda quickly shook his head, “I would have never thought that.”

YN saw Chishiya make a face from the corner of their eye but ignored him.

YN didn’t tell Banda that they knew he kickstarted the series of deaths in this game either.

┆彡

Players were dropping like flies. Backing stabbing and fear had crumbled groups until there were only seven of them left.

Ippei couldn’t take it, the game had broken him and as YN watched him sob on the floor as Chishiya tried to comfort him, they felt bad for him. They understood how these death games took everything from you and if you manage to survive one, you barely have enough time to recuperate before you’re forced to join another lest you want your visa to run out.

When YN heard the muffled explosion at the end of the hour, they knew Ippei chose death.

Banda approached YN, seeing how upset they were about Ippei, bringing them into a hug and comforting them.

“He’s at peace now.”

YN nodded and snuggled further into his hold, melting into his warmth. YN had needed that hug desperately, the last one they had was with Kuina at The Beach which felt like a lifetime ago.

YN took a backseat role for the next round, Chishiya told them their suit and vice versa. Watching as he planned something with Banda and Yaba but did not get involved as they laid a trap for Matsushita, the Jack of Hearts.

After the trap fell in place, YN watched as Yaba dragged Matsushita into an empty cell as Banda made his way over to where they were standing and Chishiya made himself scarce, giving them a moment of privacy.

Banda cups YN’s cheek in his hand, “I think this is where we part but we will meet again. I promise you that.”

YN nodded, placing their hand over the one that rested on their cheek, “We will. I know it.”

Banda gave them a rare smile before leaning down and pressing a soft kiss on YN’s cheek before he let them go and walked back to the cell Yaba was holding Matsushita in.

As YN and Chishiya left the prison, the blimp above it exploded, signalling the Jack of Hearts had been defeated.

YN cast a worried look back at the prison as they walked further away which Chishiya rolled his eyes at when he noticed.

“You know he is a serial killer right?” Chishiya told them still walking away, “ He’ll be fine”

YN did a double take at his words, “A what?”

“Serial killer. Killed four women”

YN gaped at the back of Chishiya’s head before chasing after him, “Why didn’t you tell me this before?”

Chishiya looked behind him and picked up his pace at the sight of YN’s mad face gaining ground on him, “I thought you knew! I thought he told you!”

┆彡

One week later, YN sat outside the supreme court waiting for Chishiya as he played the King of Diamonds game when they heard a voice call out to them.

“Waiting for someone?”

YN looked up and couldn’t help the smile that spread on their face,

“Banda!”

#banda sunato x reader #banda sunato #alice in borderland #alice in borderland imagines #alice in borderland imagine #alice in borderland x reader #aib imagine #banda x reader #banda imagines #banda sunato imagines

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spacexseven · 1 year

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tunaaaaa I've been reading ur Childe Thing sooo much that I've been thinking of I Love Amy aus nonstop. its a problem. in honor of bsd s4 im gonna rapid fire a couple out for the Bsd Boys!

lets talk dazai. I feel like this could go a lot of ways with him. like, if its ada dazai, you probably don't really get the sense that something is kinda off with him until you're a bit too deep to back out. he seemed so sweet when you first met- fuckin weird, but sweet! no harm in trying to help him win over a crush, right? for pm dazai, you obviously know hes fucked in the head the second you meet him, so you agree to help him out of a fear of what he might do to you if you dont rather than a sense of altruism. either way, its kinda hard to notice him getting a little overly-attached to you just cuz of how naturally obnoxious and clingy he is. even if he starts to escalate you might not get it cuz hes pretty fast and loose about LITERALLY kidnapping you and tying you up in his apartment/mafia holding cell right off the bat (gets very pouty about you "ignoring" him). doesnt help that hes so out of touch with his own emotions he probably doesn't even know he has a thing for you for a whiiile. trust me tho, being nice to him and taking care of him when hes sick or injured WILL wear him down. you'll only kind of get it when you try to give him some new pointers on his crush and he seems to just get? annoyed? mutters something about you talking about someone else while you're SUPPOSED to pay attention to HIM. or when he keeps being weirdly affectionate with you in full view of X when hed usually forget you exist as soon as he sees them. or you woke up chained to a chair (again) but this time hes perched in your lap and scolding you about avoiding your "boyfriend" before shoving his lips against yours. couldve been any of these occasions really.

cant BELIEVE I didn't think of gogol the first time I talked about this this is almost EXACTLY what yes doing to sigma rn. when this fuckin 6'2 clown terrorist traps you against a wall and starts questioning about why you were talking to "his darling", you are 10000% sure you're gonna die. almost gives you whiplash how fast his tone changes once you convince him you have NO interest. all smiles all of the sudden, picks u up under the armpits like a cat to right ur posture and pats you on the head, declaring that you will be his magicians assistant for a while! you do not have a say in this, if you'd like to keep your skin. while you feel bad about aiding and abetting this stalking case, you get the sense that hes. not ever gonna actually make a move. kinda just Wants To Stalk. goes on about how he cant let himself be tied down like that (whatever that means). he does talk about just murdering his darling a lot but you've managed to convince him that thats unnecessary baggage connecting them to him so hopefully that keeps him sated until his goldfish-esque attention span finally moves him onto a new target. and it does! the problem is that its you. I think that once he realizes he likes you, he's just gonna vanish. poof gone. hes had a lot of fleeting obsessions with ill-fated darlings before, but youre something new. hes never actually gotten to know someone before! ugh. hes caged by his feelings for you, but the despair hed feel from killing you would be a cage all its own! frustrating!!!!! maybe if he just leaves and never thinks about you ever again this'll just go away like all of his other crushes. doesnt work. expect him back in a month, snuggling into your neck and babbling inane about having missed you. he tied you up again so youre just gonna have to let him do that. its fine youre used to this with him.

really wanted to do this with chuuya and fyodor too but im scared of them being OOC help me.

- 🩹

omg so this turned out to be Very Long :O quick context for any1 who is unfamiliar w i love amy—it's a webtoon (highly recommend btw) where the yandere character starts to fall for her 'target/rival' instead of her initial love interest. for more info + the childe version, check out this post.

cw: yandere characters (dazai, fyodor, nikolai), stalking, kidnapping, imprisonment, obsessive behavior, threats of violence to reader. (this whole post came off a little silly instead of serious But mind the cws anyway!)

this is best read with a male reader (to keep it consistent w i love amy) but there's no pronouns used or descriptions for reader, so do as you like. also, reader makes morally questionable decisions :>

(pm) dazai is to be avoided at all costs. that was the rule you put down for yourself after witnessing one of his very public threats to some poor pedestrian who had bumped into him. the dramatic coat, the blank expression, the natural ease with which he handled the weapon in his hand—everything about him was just...alarming.

however, despite all your efforts, he's obstructed your path home with a deadly glare and a hand in his pocket.

according to dazai, he did not appreciate your recent conversation with X, (as he claimed, they were too popular to spare most people more than a few friendly greetings—so why were you having a full-fledged conversation with them?) who were you, even, to get in his way? you sputter out some excuse, some explanation as to why he misunderstood the situation and it was all just work-related, and fortunately, he seems convinced, at least enough to relax his hold on you and shift the blaring malice in his stance to something less frightening.

obviously, you couldn't refuse when he offers you what he calls a mutually beneficial proposition. you help him get closer to X, and he won't kill you! win-win, don't you think?

the thing about dazai, you soon learn, is that despite the murderous energy he gives off, he's painfully annoying, more so than frightening. it almost feels like you're dealing with an obnoxious child, with how he's constantly whining and tugging at your sleeve and complaining about how useless you're being.

and it also makes you wonder if he's ever really had a friend, because he's got some strange expectations for you. he's all too possessive, too paranoid, and expects you to be perfectly fine with it. you consider telling him that he's not supposed to hold you hostage every time he thinks you're spending "too much time with someone else", but after the 4th attempt, you've understood that there was no getting to him. at least he stopped with the threats to your other friends (well, he promised you that he'd stop), and that seemed like the only thing he was willing to compromise on. he doesn't ease up on the breaking-into-your-room-to-visit-you stunt, either, especially when you're "ignoring him". despite all that, maybe out of some form of pity, you still help him out. you drop off food when he's sick and try to explain that imprisonment is not the key to a healthy relationship. you hang out with him even if you're terrified of all the mafioso you come across when you visit the hq with him, and after all of it, you're mostly convinced that he wasn't going to kill you anytime soon. in fact, the two of you seemed to be building an unusual friendship.

but when he comes to visit you one day when you're sick and actually knocks on the door and texts you beforehand, you tell him that this would be the best way to approach X if he ever hears that they're sick. though you're expecting some excitement, or some self-satisfaction for improving a little, instead of looking excited, dazai looks frustrated. for the first time, he looks genuinely...upset. and when he asks you why you can't appreciate that he was looking out for you and not X, you're left at a loss for words. you're not sure if this was a sign that he was starting to learn not to cross your boundaries or a warning that he was beginning to like you a little too much

and things only get stranger. he becomes more observant, asks you more questions about yourself rather than X, and even starts holding your hand in full view of X. when you mention that X was really looking forward to a new movie coming out and that he should try to ask them out, he gets upset by your suggestion, grumbling about you paying more attention to X and only caring about them instead of asking him if he wants to see the movie with them. so, unsure of how to respond, you echo his question. he beams at you and happily declares that he only wants to watch the movie with you.

somewhere along the line, it happened that dazai himself started to realize just how much he liked you, and he spirals out of control. the already overwhelming physical contact turns more intimate, with dazai holding your hand at every possible moment, pressing himself as close to you as humanely possible without squeezing the air out of you, and sitting on your lap whenever the opportunity presents itself. he stops responding to anything that isn't an endearing pet name and introduces himself as your boyfriend. X seems to be eradicated from his mind, as well as anyone that wasn't you, though it feels as though you're the only one that has a problem with this change. dazai takes to it naturally, seamlessly inserting himself into your life.

"what's wrong?" dazai's sprawled across your lap with the biggest grin on his face, the remote in your hand long ripped away by him, "come give your boyfriend a kiss~"

you've...heard of fyodor. it was more overhearing whispers shared between people, but the mention of his name seemed to intrigue everyone who heard it. you've heard that he was a mysterious man who walked into the city one day and never left, and you've heard that he was the owner of an expensive casino. you've even heard that he had a tendency to stand on top of rooftops at night, but you've heard tons of variations and rumors. one statement, however, rang true in everyone's ears.

fyodor dostoevsky was taken with X.

that was putting it lightly—obsession was exactly what it was. though X was clearly unaware of what was being said, because, as they assured you one day while you walked out with them, fyodor was just a friend! and he was a very interesting guy, with some strong beliefs. he wasn't some criminal mastermind! all he did was keep to himself. and that, as they confidently declared, wasn't a crime.

but you had reason to not believe X, after all, it wasn't them at the receiving end of a laser focused gaze and a creepy smile. (it scared you so much that you ran home and ordered a burglar-proof lock for your door the same night) and it also wasn't them who sat down across from you while you were having your breakfast in the café nearby. anyone would have been better than who it was.

"hello," fyodor waves a fork at you, his fingers positioned gracefully on the silver cutlery (and of course, you think bitterly, he was evil and beautiful. just your luck), "i hope you can spare me a few minutes."

he wasn't asking, but you melted at his soft tone. for all people loved to talk about him, why hadn't they mentioned how hard it was to take your eyes off him? awkwardly, you take another bite of your food, nodding at him.

he asks you about X, though it's more of an interrogation disguised as casual conversation. he easily waves around his fork, smiles at you with an unnerving expression, and stares at you a little too long. by the end of it, your food is finished and his fork is placed neatly back onto the table and you've sustained no injuries. better yet, he finally seems to have (reluctantly) removed your name from his hit list.

what you weren't expecting was for him to start seeking you out. you get strange looks when fyodor waits outside your workplace with an umbrella—your umbrella—leaving you with no choice but to walk with him unless you wanted to get home soaked. he lists off X's habit and asks you to add on to his list, ignoring your reply of "that's just creepy". he tells you that he wants to respect X's privacy by not using cameras to spy on them so will you answer him or should he use the cameras? and what else could you do then?

at the very least, he didn't seem serious about attempting to kidnap or imprison X. he seemed fascinated by them, if anything. like he was...studying them. being with him wasn't as bad as you'd though, no matter how much you hated to admit it, despite the foundation of this friendship was built on how amusing he found X. if he was in a particularly good mood, he'd even offer to help you out with your struggles in the pursuit of love. his ideas, however, were all sure to land you behind bars with a retraining order to boot. when you voiced your opinion to him, he only smiled and told you that he knew a thing or two about breaking out of a prison cell, much like he was recalling upon a fond memory.

the only good thing about this strange arrangement was that fyodor was really nice to look at. there was something mesmerizing about his every action, even the slight quirk of his lips or the way his hair fell on his forehead. the ease with which he slipped on his hat (which, by the way, what was with all his not-weather-appropriate clothing? was he not sweating?), and the commanding air around him. so while he spoke seriously about X and his distaste for most of the human population, you tuned him out and focused on admiring his pretty eyes and how his lips wrapped around his fork and—ugh, you were starting to sound as creepy as him. but honestly, you had a feeling he already knew that you found him attractive. fyodor was far too good at reading people, far too perceptive to let something as obvious as your attraction to him slip.

your mistake was foolishly believing that you'd be safe as long as you didn't act on those feelings.

it felt strange, however, when he started reaching your usual table first, having already asked for your go-to meal and watching with thinly veiled delight as you stared down at the hot plate. and it's your coworkers now that get stared at, your friends who get the silent threat of a fork pressed against smooth skin, and you that everyone whispers that fyodor dostoevsky is taken with.

the meaning behind his increasingly strange behaviour doesn't really hit you, not until you've bumped into X again, who you haven't seen around in a while.

"i see that you and fyodor are becoming good friends now," they grin, "i'm almost jealous of how quickly you warmed up to him."

long fingers reach to caress your cheek before a perfectly poised hand places itself on your shoulder. fyodor's unmistakable voice replies in your stead.

"we're friends? is that what you've heard?" fyodor dips his head down to lock eyes with yours, "why don't you correct them about that, darling?"

you should have trusted sigma when he told you that nikolai gogol was bad news. as he clarified, so bad that, coincidentally, the ministry of justice hq was moved away at least by two states when nikolai came to visit.

but how were you to know that he was in love with one of your acquaintances? and how were you to know that his idea of love was this frightening? just when you were making your way back after a lukewarm conversation about work with X, you were slammed up against the wall by a person with a top hat and a coat and an honestly terrifying expression. then nikolai, as he later introduced himself, started grilling you with questions, ruthlessly asking about why you were with X and why did they smile at you and where does your family live, after which he happily told you about his many previous experiences with torture and how he would love to show you.

you're not sure what convinced him to let you go, whether it was your trembling legs or your teary promises that you had no interest in X in that way, but here you were now—alive, terrified, and offered the position of 'magician's assistant' (though the magician himself refused to tell you why the position was open for so long) and all it took to land the increasingly strange job was to talk to X and listen to nikolai threaten to torture you in graphic detail.

(among all the crazy people you had seen around here—that so-called 'world's best detective' who snatched your bag of candy right from your hands, that other person who started doing push-ups in the middle of the road, and someone giggling holding a bag of lemons by the port—you thought that nikolai definitely fit right in. not that you were going to tell him that)

while the position wasn't exactly what you wanted, nor were you too keen on spending more time around nikolai, something about the glint in his uncovered eye and the hand gripping your shoulder told you that you really wouldn't want to reject his offer. contrary to what you may have assumed, assisting nikolai only meant becoming a partner to his criminal activity, which revolved around stalking X, talking to them to find out all the information nikolai can't get by stalking them, and stalking them even more to find out any more details that neither of you could get. (you've considered helping out as much as you can, leaving hints in the form of obscure drawings of nikolai and danger symbols, but later, when you catch sight of X waving to him, you realize the message did not come across the way you intended it to)

fortunately for them, (and for you. at least now, you won't be behind bars for assisting in abduction) nikolai seems to have no interest whatsoever in pursuing them any further. sure, he keeps books filled with information about X, and buys their favorite drink alongside his order, but he doesn't seem to want to do anything more.

while you could care less about why he does whatever he's doing, already chalking it all up to the fact that he was off his rockers, nikolai decides to enlighten you all the same. when he excitedly rambles on and on about freedom and feelings and why X must now die, you pretend to listen, never actually telling him that nothing he said made any sense to you. still, after insisting that he won't be very free behind bars either and that if he really didn't want to be tied down by his feelings, he should actually distance himself from them instead, it appeared that you finally got him to understand, and he hesitantly agreed to listen.

for the most part, everything is great after that. your life returns to normal, with no top hat wearing, cane wielding magician in the vicinity, and no more having to invade someone's privacy. and it was great! really! even if it was a little bit boring without nikolai's spontaneous plans (maybe that time in the amusement park was pretty fun, even if the only reason you had to go was because X was going there with someone else, much to nikolai's horror). there was something both unsettling and addictive about the crazy adventures nikolai swept you on, though it was for the best that he disappeared.

but then nikolai came back…acting a little odd.

his clinginess and a sudden desire for physical affection set off alarms in your head, though he acted like this was perfectly normal. at first, you told yourself that this must be some new jealousy plot—maybe he got this idea from a tv show he watched over his 'break', but he hadn't asked you if you wanted to be part of this ploy (not that he ever did, really).

and your suspicions only grew when he refused to let up on the act, holding onto you as if his life depended on it. his trips with you became increasingly frightening, and his grip on you increasingly tighter. he takes his new position by your side, not at all focused on X anymore, and instead observes you with the same look that was fixated on X not too long ago.

it only hits you that you've become his new target when you find yourself tied up to a chair, with him seated right in front of you with his face up to yours. the exact scenario you convinced him not to put X through.

"your advice sucks, by the way," he pouts, "i tried staying away but i couldn't stop thinking of you! don't be too upset, alright? we can have even more fun now that we're together!"

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lunatic-fandom-space · 7 months

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You know what its past midnight Im gonna make a post critisising acotar despite never having the read the series, the only book of SJMs ive actually read was crescent city but I spend a lot of time in anti acotar circles bc its fun being a little hater sometimes and I think I know enough by now to atleast critise some of the themes. I definitely know more about this series than I should, like I know about that immortal horse whose horse wife tragically died in horse childbirth and then Im pretty sure he died of horse sadness. And yet, despite cari can read being pretty good at explaining magic shit, I still dont know what the hell syphons are or why illyrians have them or why they matter so you really never stop learning huh

Anyway, I wanted to talk about the misogyny within the universe of acotar because its really bad, both in the sense that its just annoying and insufferable to read about even second-hand and in the sense that its badly written. The thing that inspired this was this short piece of flashfiction by @feynessupremacy about an unnamed girl from the hewn city being married off and having a horrible time living in this endless cycle of misogynistic abuse that her mom is still in and that her dauggters will end up in, all powerless to do anything against this kind of systemic sexism. I thought it was good and made its intended point pretty well but it also made me once again realize how borderline comical this series portrayal of misogyny is

Like, okay, once again, I have not read these books myself but it very much seems like the sexism in this world just materialized in the second book, from the summaries Ive watched it straightup seems like it was just not there in the first book. I mean hell, the entire plot hinges on the fact that Tamlin was sending all these fae disguised as fucked up creatures out so that they would hopefully be killed by a woman so she could break the curse, which implies that women being hunters was pretty normal. (Also, dont come at me with any kind of "oh, it doesnt specify the gender of the person who needs to break the curse a guy couldve done it as well", sjm is too insufferably heteronormative to consider that)

So basically what Im saying is, from my perspective it very much seems like sjm put not only systemic misogyny but like, incredibly violent systemic misogyny to the point where women being brutalized is basically completely normal, in her fantasy series for the sake of making a man look good because hes a wittle sad :( about it sometimes which is honestly pretty funny to me

But it gets even funnier because it doesnt even seem like sexism is really a widespread thing ? Like, i have never seen anyone else directly address this but its all I can think about: in the Nightcourt, the misogyny and institutionalized violence against women is literally the worst it possibly can be with genital mutilation and everything and then in the rest of Prythian its just like, not there. There are plenty of women with political power, the queen of adriada comes to mind first, Im pretty sure I read something about a woman from the wintercourt who was in a similar position of power, its unclear to me what all these fuckin priestesses do because theres no focus on the religion at all much less the institution(s) behind that religion, but they have to have some kind of power if theyre anything like priests in our world (although tbh they seem more like nuns to me functionally just with a diffrent name), especially Ianthe who was like a high priestess and directly in charge of Feyre, who shouldve been the most powerful woman in the springcourt by virtue of being with the high lord, Amren and Mor seem to be well respected outside of the NightCourt, their only deity is the MOTHER. Sure, there arent any "official" High Ladies but if being a High Lord entails being chosen by the magic of the land or The Cauldron or The Mother or whatever other kind of magic bullshit and women just dont get to have it for some reason, is that really indicative of the broader culture being sexist, or is that just God, Who Canonically Exists being sexist? Idk about you, but Im leaning towards the latter option

Thats not even mentioning the mortal lands which seem to be ruled by queens exclusively at the time of the story taking place, or Hybern which had Amarantha and I think her sister as well be these high-ranking generals and it wasnt presented as anything unusual. Like, are you telling me that the kingdom whose only value is "we love slavery, we would like to have slavery back" is more progressive than the court of fuckin Feminist King Rhysand?? I Am Going To Turn Into The Joker

Anyway, I think thats all I have to say, please correct me if I got any of this information wrong I cannot stress enough that I have not read these books and dont plan on reading them anytime soon, atleast not in english because reading the term mate a 1000 times sounds like too much for me to bear, atleast in german theyll probably use a term like "Gefährte/in" which doesnt make me think of actual animals

#im öretty sleep deprived so i hope this is coherent enough #anti sjm #anti acotar

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impishjesters · 7 months

Text

Pomni x Reader who doesn't wanna leave

warning(s): implied panic/anxiety attacks, implied Reader's life prior to the Circus might've not been so great A/N: I'm not really good at words of comfort, so hopefully this isn't too bad... request: I have a request for actually pomni instead of jax- a reader x pomni sfw thing where the reader doesnt actually wanna leave the place but understands why pomni wants to leave so they just try to help her with anything and is very comforting to her. (basically a extremely sweet and calm reader with a nervous wreck pomni)

It’s easy to see why one would freak out about being permanently trapped in a digital hellscape in a body that doesn’t require sleep or food.

You feel for Pomni, you really do, but unlike her, you enjoy living here. There’s little to worry about compared to the struggles of living in the real world, the life you had before this was nothing but stress and exhaustion.

Though it’s easy to see why that might be the issue for some people, sure you lose out on all the things the real world can give you, but for every pro, there’s a con. Something you can accept, but not Pomni.

She’s such a sweet girl when she’s not on the verge of a panic attack, even if you don’t want to leave you continue to reassure her that there has to be an exit. “Can’t have an entrance without an exit.”

The best you can do is reassure her verbally and try to bring some sense of normalcy to the place. Just last week the two of you went for a walk outside the tent and did some nature gazing, it’s a little trippy how realistic the ambiance was. Though it seemed to do just the trick to help Pomni, the fake birds flew around and chirped, accompanied by the screams of obnoxious bugs.

Then there was just a few days ago when the two of you sat and listened to music while having a fake little tea date. The tea set was real—or as real as anything in this place could be—similar to a child’s play set it was just decoration as the two of you chatted over empty cups of tea.

It always seemed like talking and acting like everything was normal was a big help to her, you know if you get past the fact that the person across from you doesn’t look remotely normal.

Today, however, Pomni had been a wreck all day—the nature walk and tea time offers weren’t enough to distract her. Instead, you settled down nearby careful not to touch her, and simply took it one step at a time. Pomni disliked physical touch so you made do with talking her through it, through what was currently on her mind all while making sure to steer the mindset from sketchy abstraction territory.

“How are you so okay with this?” She looked over her knees in your general direction, not really looking at you or anything in particular.

“I mean to say I’m okay is an understatement. But it’s an improvement in some departments compared to my life before… I understand not everyone can see it that way though. But for me, I’m pretty okay with the whole situation.”

Nobody had really opened up about their lives prior, whether they could remember or not it just never came up. It felt almost taboo for some reason.

“Like I told you before, every entrance has an exit. And if I find one, you’ll be the first person I tell.”

It’s not an entire lie, you would tell her if you actually found one, but not every entrance had an exit. In some cases, the only “exit” so to speak would be death, but saying that would only make the situation worse.

“H-how do you know that though? Nobody’s seen one except for…well Kaufmo and me..” Pomni bit her lip, squeezing her legs tighter. “And i-it wasn’t even a real exist… Caine said—”

“Sweetie Caine’s about as smart as Jax is nice.” That gets a hesitant little giggle out of her, it’s rude but true. “There’s an exit I know it, that said there’s a chance Caine doesn’t know where it is or how to access it. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.”

“I…I guess you are right…”

Pomni relaxes the death grip on her legs, letting them dangle off the couch. She’s still stuck in her head but it’s progress, and you are patient to work with her.

“Wanna go down to the kitchen and make something?”

Her head snaps in your direction so fast you swear she’d get whiplash if she could. “What?”

“You heard me.” You give her a weak shrug and lean on the armrest of your chair. “We can’t eat but that doesn’t mean we can’t cook—it’s not the same but we can still do it, sorta.”

Her expression is pure confusion, did she not know you could still cook or that there was a kitchen? Have those idiots shown her nothing??

“Mhm, maybe we could bake something for everyone. Again, can’t eat it but it’s the thought that counts yeah? I’m sure the others would enjoy that, we can all sit down with a slice and maybe have a nice chat.”

That sounded nice, domestic, and more importantly, normal. She can’t remember the last time she cooked or baked something, and while it would suck to not be able to eat it, enjoying the company of the others would be nice. Well, mostly nice.

“Yeah, I think I’d like that.”

The two of you stood and you gave her a warm smile before gesturing her to follow. Before you made it to the door she called your name, giving a weak smile as she approached. “Thank you.”

“Any time Pompom.”

#tadc #the amazing digital circus #the amazing digital circus x reader #pomni x reader #tadc pomni #pomni

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beelspillowpet · 11 months

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Also hate how Lilith is just pretty much a plot device. I don't know what the game is doing now but I hate that she's pretty much there to speedrun a relationship between MC and the brothers.

And that's when MC is already developing a genuine bond with some of them.

But if there are any other instances of her being a plot device, I'd love to hear it.

i do wanna make it clear that this contrived plot point that is lilith does not drive forward the relationship on ALL of the characters. just the most difficult two to really complete the list. i refuse to believe that mammon, satan, leviathan, asmo AND beel didnt care about MC before this turd-bomb of a plot point happened, but i absolutely do believe that is the case for lucifer and belphie for different reasons.

i believe it is a method to sort of "punish" belphie by the games weird rule of telling but not showing. it was the first sign of cowardice on the writing team back then for pulling their punches and taking judgement out of our hands; something they honestly do not often enough and too much at the same time with more mundane things, but with it being a multiple choice type game, options were never really ours to make. just the illusion of it.

by making us the very distant relative of lilith we are punishing belphie for his rash action to anger and and giving us a contrived reason to feel bad for him afterwards. which doesnt work when hes still got the blood on his hands, diavolo hot on his trail, and lucifer coming to his defense.

its a plot point for lucifer because until you earn the trust of all his brothers, he could pretend to care, hell he might even care a teensy bit, but no matter how he feels about you, if there is a shadow of a reason as to how you could betray him and his brothers and use them against their will, there is a shadow of a reason for lucifer to not hesitate to kill you.

picture a scenario where all of the boys save for belphie (and consequently lucifer himself) are forced via their pacts to attack belphie as revenge for him attacking you. with belphie out numbers and his own brothers losing control of themselves to potentially kill him, lucifer would be his last defense against those odds. lucifer is nothing if not cautious and powerful, so he could hopefully subdue his brothers in due time. it also helps that in comparison to lucifer, each of his brothers as you go further down the line have a unique type of fear of him that could in theory ensnare them from continuing their assault on belphie at your command. ie. mammon is really afraid of lucifers wrath and more than anything wasnt to avoid having his credit card taken and being strung up from the ceiling for hours. aside from everyone else in the house, mammon is more powerful than THEM compared to lucifer. then next comes levi, a sort of spineless coward-like person i feel (when it comes to a fight anyway, you basically NEVER see him stand up for himself) and wouldnt want to face lucifer and deal with the punishment of that. and then you go further and further down the list and they get weaker and weaker as we go. satan cant combat lucifers spells, he himself far too busy learning how to cast them rather than protect himself from them. asmo is much like levi in that he would rather not lift a finger, if not for fear of broken nail than broken bone. despite this, he could fold beel like laundry (which still doesnt make sense to me but whatever i guess?) and speaking of beel the guy is built like a truck. hes also the only other one lucifer has physically struck with intention to subdue that was tied to a serious event. and i believe it was more than once at that.

my point being they were very specific and careful about who came in the pecking order, and it was for precaution that lucifer be the one able to straighten them all out in the end.

if there is an MC out there hellbent on destroying belphie, that is a person lucifer will never trust. and so its rather coincidental that in the heat of the moment we choose to forgive belphie, or at the very least put it off, until "months later" since the game jumps ahead in time a LOT since the killing in c.16 and the end of the years program in c. 20.

lilith being our distant relative was for belphie to feel shame, then quickly feel attachment, only for lucifer to see that if we all get along (or perhaps fall in love with belphie in that short period of time for the belphifuckers out there) hes allowed to feel something finally too. or at least let it show more.

so it was a speedrun not for all of the brothers. lucifer, while he wouldnt hesitate in killing you in an instant before belphie got close with you, i wont say didnt feel anything beforehand. he just puts his brothers before anything and everything; something he makes clear time and time again. it was a speedrun ONLY for belphie. lucifer and MC have a sort of slowburn going on, but to say that their relationship is speedran from c.16 onwards is disregarding the little moments beforehand that were special to his character.

as for if and when shes used as a plot point again later, that requires i redownload OG and look around for it there and honestly playing in a pit of spikes sounds more fun than that. playing nightbringer is already such a painful chore....

edit: im also trapped in the early episodes of season 2 bc i flopped so hard at that boring ass gameplay in the first one lol

#jinx thoughts #obey me #om!#obey me mc #obey me beelzebub #diet vent #obey me shall we date #obey me swd #jinx asks #nonna #obey me lucifer #obey me leviathan #obey me belphegor #obey me nb #obey me nightbringer #obey me mammon #obey me asmodeus #obey me satan

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etherealspacejelly · 4 months

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Okay so. This is a bit of a rant that I cant give my parents and... You're really supportive and all. I get that this might be too much, so... If you dont wanna answer this, dont. Its okay. It has helped me already to write it. And this is very clearly different to your usual asks.

Im not officially diagnosed with Autism or ADHD. Im very weird, struggle with a bunch of stuff and definitely have anxiety disorder. I kinda fell into depression? Im out of it now. Got a CPTSD diagnosis too. All the fun stuff.

Anyways. When I was in the clinic and people kept telling me I was super duper intelligent and basically could therapy myself and none of them understood that this self awareness was partially the fault of my depression, it felt like shit. They told me I was too socially adapt to be autistic and too focused for ADHD.

But they did say I could have a really high IQ, but didnt have a reason to test that.

When my parents asked why it was important to me, I didnt have words. I guess I always felt like the robot or the alien or the black sheep and that I had to make an effort to fit in. I always felt like I was missing out.

Would knowing change anything? I dont friggin know, Dude.

So why am I telling you? Its probably because you're really nice about these kinds of things and everything concidered, maybe I just wanna hear one person tell me that its okay to want to know even if it doesnt change anything. I couldnt explain it to you. I just wish I had been tested. Maybe things wouldnt have been so hard then? Maybe I could have been happier, you know.

This is a bad little pipeline to go down, but hopefully it makes sense to you anyways. Im trying not to think that way. I wanna know for myself. I want that stamp on the paper telling me Im not making it up. Validating my struggle, I guess.

Anyways. Im sorry for barging into your asks like this. Do you have any tips for people like me, who are just kinda... drifting?

oh sweetheart :(

im so sorry that you are going through that. i dont have any tips for you unfortunately, but what i can tell you is that you are not alone. there are plenty of people out there who feel exactly like this.

knowing you dont fit in but not knowing Why is such a common experience for late/undiagnosed folks. it is not at all unreasonable to want to understand why you feel the way you do, even if it wouldnt really change anything.

there is no such thing as being 'too smart' or 'too social' to be autistic. i was never considered for an autism diagnosis probably for the same reasons. we come in all shapes and sizes, and our symptoms present all sorts of different ways. and when you throw adhd into the mix things get even more complicated, and the adhd and autism can even mask each other a little, making it even harder to get a diagnosis despite the high comorbidity rate.

i see your struggle. your struggle was my struggle, for many years. just because it doesnt show outwardly doesnt mean it isnt there. you deserved to get the help you needed. and im very sorry that you didnt. i didnt either.

i hope that things improve for you as they did for me.

#inbox #ask #inbox open #autism #adhd

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nicomrade · 9 months

Note

A genuine question here, but why do you dislike The First so much?

well its a weird thing to talk about cause really its the same reason why i dislike stolen lupin or any other low tier TV special. the real question is why other people liked it so much and i think its only because its such a pretty movie, its jaw dropingly gorgeous and the lupgang banter is great but just those 2 together isnt enough to make a good MOVIE. but it is enough that u can have a good TIME if u dont think about whats happening. thats the short version, its just a bad movie. sorry🐅

i purposefully havent been too frank when talking publicly about it (why i kept a mean tweet about it in drafts for literal years) but compared to the unlimited love it gets from the fandom it looks like thats enough for people to pick up that i dislike it so much lol. so lets talk about the first!

ill be brief on each point. that ancient technology thing it does w the eclipse? thats a bad trope. its a very very bad trope. its the atlantis conspiracy theory, its 1 throwaway line away from slipping into ancient aliens, they pull the same shit in a couple other TV specials and none of them are fondly remembered so hopefully we all know this plot point sucks and is racist. if not you can google it. lets move on

the nazis. after watchin harimao i said it was more anti-nazi than the first, idk if id stand by that cause i havent seen it again since but i mention it to put it in lupin context. generally if it isnt OK to have lupin scam an ex-nazi in part 2 ep 3 by disguising himself as hitler, whys it OK for lupin to steal from nazis by disguising himself as hitler? at no point is the movie actually anti-nazi (though i wouldnt call it pro-nazi either) and its fucking weird to see lupin disguised as hitler in modern lupin cause each time nazis show up in classic lupin everyone agrees its tasteless & overdone.

laetitia! TMS did a genius thing w her cause shes incredibly well written as a self-insert fic protag. it is very easy to watch the first & pretend u urself are best friends w the gang by projecting urself onto her. this doesnt balance out her lack of character it only helps the audience not care about it. compare her to mariya from tokyo crisis- one could be written out of her own movie and we only get info bout her to move the plot (the bad, boring plot) forward, one is essential to the core of her movie and shes realistically affected by the things that happened to her and makes believable connections with some of the gang. yay! a character!!

the movie is also very segmented between "plot scenes" and "lupgang banter scenes" you will notice everything fun about lupin STOPS when we are being explained Plot Elements. lupin talks to laetitia and its a boring nazi ancient treasure movie. then we get a scene thats not about the eclipse or laetitias grandpa or the nazis and all of a sudden its super fun !!!!!!! this is bad writing. lol. watch fuma & see how lupin at its best can blend comedy and plot and exploration and fun banter.

my personal experience w the movie! the first time i watched it i had to pause it cause i was bored out of my mind. iirc it was more or less when lupin gets on the eclipse ship thing n all banter stops cause its just him n the nazi dude n i realized hey this movie kinda sucks actually! i texted a friend about it n he was like. yeah having to force urself to finish it sounds like ure not enjoyin this movie. i did watch the first 3 or 4 times? i did gif it a lot. theres scenes i like (the banter) but it doesnt make it a good movie. like i said when i first wrote my personal review of it: "I think looking at gifsets of this would be more enjoyable than actually watching it". laetitia really embodies her movie in that sense, shes a really good character if you only look at her. she shares her name with all of her ancestors! just who is she? why is she wearing short shorts? why was she a cop? how old is she? then you realize theres nothing there

and ultimately this IS a reaction to it being an unpopular opinion. there are so many lupin entries a lot more worthwhile than the first (2019) that dont even get half of the hype. in my personal ranking its in the bottom 10 (tho ive skipped 2 specials so u can consider that the bottom 12). i genuinely dont like it but im not as vocal about lets say, angels tactics, because we usually agree thats a bad one- or at least we dont recommend it to newcomers. the first has a good reputation so i feel more strongly about it despite liking it more. i would be just as vocal about dragon of doom & voyage to danger if people talked to me about them more often. (and i have a much more coherent critique of dragon of doom lol)

so i dont really know how to explain why i dislike the first cause i just do; the same way u just dislike a bad part 2 episode, the same way most of the fandom just finds napoleons dictionary kind of boring. how do u explain why u dislike the nazi ancient tech self-insert npc girl movie- except by calling it just that? i guess i wasnt blinded by how pretty it is which makes me sound full of myself LOL. but its true a lot of animation can get away w god awful writing if its well animated enough- and if its too ugly no one will watch the best written animated movie. i love animation too and it has so much to offer and i want to see more done in the style of the first with the story of [insert your personal favorite TV special]. im glad it opened the door for vs cats eye to look that way (though lets not forget the 2012 3DCG lupin short!). but the WRITING the STORY the MEAT of the first just isnt any better than any other mid to low tier lupin TV special. is it really worth recommending the first as someones entry into lupin just because it looks pretty? is it really better than the anime that made the author reboot his own manga? why are we even still talking about the first?

#ask #anon #uhm a bit shy to put this in my lupin tags #really no hate if u personally really enjoy the movie. i love elusiveness of the fog we all have different taste. who cares what i think 👍#lupin the third

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jameswyerford · 7 months

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do you think it’s still possible that eungyeol didn’t change yichan’s fate? I was waiting all of ep 12 for some signs of the trauma affecting his hearing but there was nothing of that sort so now I’m feeling. very unsure and scared to watch the rest. also while I’m on ep 12 I thought it just in general had some weird twists. like them completely walking back on eungyeol confessing that he is yichan’s son instead of leaving it ambitious for yichan which I feel like would be much more interesting for their dynamic. and also idk I like that yichan misses cheongah but her blowing up at him like that felt a little sudden and out of nowhere as a writing choice. she’s hurt but before it was established within the show that she wants to be friends with yichan even if he doesn’t like her back so this sudden change without explanation was strange. and it could maybe make sense…. if they spent more time on cheongah. the sprinklers of her instead of a normal amount of screen time really are. frustrating

i dont think eungyeol is gonna be able to change his father's fate because his hearing loss is gonna be a canon event (it better be or else im gonna do something drastic) as i mentioned before i think yichan will lose his hearing progressively rather than immediately. episode 12 of any kdrama can be a turning point for the show because it either goes okay and makes sense or it is a mess and feels like a totally different show lmao akdbdk

and i feel like they made cheongah a side character that will only have screentime if it is shared with either eungyeol yichan and even eunyu which sucks so bad like ?? we have barely seen her on her own, this is supposed to be a drama that celebrates deaf people and instead they got the only deaf character being miserable all.the.damn.time. turning her into some kind of martyr... im kinda tired of it tbh

and i think the lack of (meaningful) screentime of cheongah explains why we dont understand her reactions sometimes,, i personally think she was angry at him because he somehow confuses her (and honestly sometimes he confuses me as well) cheongah is a person who has spent most of her life alone and now she has got a friend she happens to like and who doesnt exactly check on her (because he is obsessed with a girl who doesnt even pay attention to him akdbksns and cheongah seems to see it too and is pissed/sad for it she is a teenager after all) and yichan is someone who is popular at some extent so i believe that makes cheongah think he is friends with her because he pities her or wants to look like the great guy who is friends with someone with a "disability" which isnt true at all!! we have clearly seen yichan genuinely wants to be his friend but after everything she is going through i think she doesnt see it that way anymore

(hopefully all of this makes sense i feel like i lost myself within the lines aksbksns)

#twinkling watermelon #yoon cheongah #deaf character #deaf representation #ha yichan #ha eungyeol

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martyrbat · 2 years

Note

martyrtodd, my beloved, I see your disability takes and as someone who is physically and mentally disabled I appreciate them and hold them close to my heart.

I humbly ask for some disabled Jason headcanons

goosey my beloved <3 im so glad you're enjoying them and i offer mere samples on how far deep the disabled jason todd rabbit hole can go <3

im mixing in some that he should just canonly have and personal hcs (plus a bit of self projection) but hopefully you'll like any of these too :3

schizoaffective disorder

more prone to mania outbursts

can be extremely delusional

paranoia and anxiety -> isolating

psychosis

(lots of people give him hallucinations due to his ptsd but i think he experiences a range of it and in different levels of intrusiveness!)

(and fun fact, children under 16 who experienced trauma are more than 3x likely to have psychosis as an adult! up to 50x if its severe!)

autistic

literally just a given. look at him. autism coded.

deaf/hard of hearing

always had poor hearing

fast visual learner because of it

has multiple pairs of hearing aids he wore as robin to "keep his identity secret"

bruce taught him asl

batman and robin used a lot of nonverbal cues and their own version of sign language on patrol too. (batman teaches it to the others when hes gone and jason cries)

as a kid he had a gun shot near him & developed tinnitus

^ only worsened as time went on

it gets overbearing after he comes back to life due to the beating he received and literally dying in an explosion

it continued until he got Lazarus Pitted. but that ringing was replaced with silence & most of his hearing fully gone

gains more due to close proximity with firearms and explosions constantly

terrifies him as his hearing loss got worse.

like full on sobbing terrifies.

he spent his entire life relying on his senses and wayne techs always improving technology to keep himself and others safe. with that fully removed it leaves him feeling vulnerable

'how will i know if im alone? if someone is sneaking up on me or im being too loud? if someone is screaning for help just out of eyesight?'

so much fear !

but! he grows to accept it and use it to his advantage and

helmet rigged to have sensors that alert him of almost anything around him

and so sensitive to the vibration of any sound to where he can pinpoint anyone

will close his eyes/remove his hearing aids when arguing so he doesnt 'hear' them

really into heavier music for the bass and drum vibration

fully deaf by the time he reaches his 30s

speech

(this one can be effected by all but)

severe speech delay as a child

repeated lines/quotes mostly to express his feelings because he's autistic and its easier than coming up with the words yourself

semi nonverbal

damaged vocal cords, gets hoarsed easily/painful to talk for too long

stims by clicking his tongue against his teeth

^^ became a tic !

chronic pain

a given for anyone but especially jason

from the streets and not being able to afford a doctor

to as robin and the injuries he received

to dying

to being forcefully brought back to life

to the Lazarus Pit

just so much pain. he cant remember a time he wasnt in pain. its the one thing that'll always be consistent no matter what.

chronic migraine haver, u can tell

talia tries her best to help ease it and make sure he has meds/the fake id and doctor to keep his prescriptions

his shoulder, head, and hips get the worse flares

would push himself as robin too much and made it worse

allows his body the rest as an adult, using that time to do his scheming and think of every detail/possible route in it

misc.

had NAS

picks at his skin if overstressed

being poor can and will make your health worse. from stress to not being able to get the help you need and something small becoming chronic or permanent

extreme fatigue

so many burns and damaged nerve tissue :(

i think about that one batwoman comic where he lost an eye in a future timeline constantly

OCD

periodically gets bad tremors in his hands

again. so fucking autistic coded.

#i wanna talk on the schizoaffective thing in a separate post eventually because #as someone that struggles with psychosis and has a mood disorder.... yea <3 #jason is a bad bitch bc hes autistic and has at least one (1) cluster B disorder #ANYWAYS !#super sorry for how long this took i had ... a day... but hopefully theres something you like in it :3 #the fun part of making a character disabled is that ur just. never wrong.#goosey my beloved #company in the crypt #jason todd #the d in dcu is for disabled

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traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors · 21 days

Note

tw- family problems, parental issues,fighting, relationship problems (i think)

seeking- advice, vent

(sorry for any typos) also, can this be tagged as flower anon tyy:)

my whole life my dad has treated my mom terribly i didn’t realize it wasnt normal when i was little, as i’ve gotten older i’ve been realizing how terrible he treats everyone around him especially my mom. my eyes have recently been opening to his true character and i wont go into detail but i feel so guilty that im resenting him cause he can be so nice sometimes but even that is following by something negative. but i dont wanna make this about that cause its about how he treats my mom.

when i was younger they would fight all the time and even still hes always the one to start it. all he does is complain about everything yet does nothing about whatever it is he’s complaining about. he has my mom do his laundry, make his dinner, fold his clothes, make his bed, all of it. by the way my mom has her own job which shes in a lot of pain at the end of the day cause of it and she has to come home to his bs. if she doesnt have his dinner done he freaks out and guilt trips by saying how hes gonna go to bed without eating, when they eat out almost every night so he can easily order food himself or go pick it up. even if he wants her to make home-cooked food for dinner if shes at work, literally doing her job he’ll complain about it and make her feel bad.

he makes her pay rent even tho her hours have got cut so she doesnt make as much any more and he can absolutely afford the whole rent himself. he has literally gone to her job and yelled at her before and now she doesnt want to get another job cause she knows hes gonna go to the boss there and tell him what time she can and cant work.

he polices everything she does if she gets a package he pesters her about whats in it, she leaves the house he pesters her about that. just today she was literally at his parents house (something he never does) and got mad at her for being gone??? its unbelievable. this is all only the icing on the cake. i remember one time me and my mom were going to get something to eat and he yelled at her before we left and when we were in the car she said to me “when you marry, marry someone who will let you be yourself” and it just broke my heart:( she deserves so much better and i just dont know how to help. i want to get a job to help her with money but i have severe social anxiety and also no school or work credits to do so but hopefully once i get my GED ill be able to do something with that. but im no sure what to do. i want to help her so bad but i have no idea how. theres so much more to all of this but im not sure how to tw it 100% correctly so i dont want to say too much, but if there’s any advice you have for this situation it would be really appreciated 🥲 thank you so much for your time!

Hi anon,

It's understandable why you feel guilty for resenting your dad even though sometimes he can be sweet or well-mannered. But it's important to honor why you feel resentment and not necessarily let your dad's good behavior make you feel like you can't be upset about how he has behaved in the past. Sometimes people intentionally behave well to minimize the impact of their bad behavior and make others feel like they have no right to complain. But it's also possible that good behavior is a sign of learning from past mistakes, but even still, it's natural and okay to feel complex emotions about that shift.

It sounds like your dad puts full responsibility on your mom, both productive and reproductive labor, to the point that he acts as if he is completely dependent on your mom fulfilling unreasonable expectations. It makes sense why your mom seems to be constantly driven to a breaking point - because she is carrying the entire weight of the relationship, and more.

It sounds like the best thing for your mom is to get away from your dad, but of course it's not simple or easy. I don't know where she is located but she could potentially consider looking into nearby domestic violence shelters as they can offer a safe place to stay while she comes up with a plan to live independently.

If anyone has any other comments or suggestions, feel free to add on. Otherwise, I hope I could help, and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

#flower anon #trauma talks #tw abuse #tw child abuse #tw domestic violence #mod bun

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natsmagi · 9 months

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I think part of the issue is a lack of...Switch just being Switch. Which makes sense from a narrative perspective/how important they are in others' stories. So it ends up with all of us filling the gaps and we bring a lot of different headcanons into that. Hopefully we get a good climax story and everyone is happy (lol it'll never make everyone happy, but still).

YEA.... again like it makes SENSE for people to develop these headcanons and biases, and then in turn have those perceptions manifest in how they view the character and their dynamics. im just very shocked at how negative and bitter its been ?? like there seems to be a lack of understanding in Why theyre current being written the way they are. is some of it bad writing? YEA! but this is still the path theyve chosen to take for switch. you can be disappointed in it all you want, i think alot of their !!-stories are forgettable tbh, but its not like this is some switch exclusive issue either. so i dont get why its being treated as such? or why everyones jumping to conclusions about the progress in store for switch when theyve misunderstood their conflicts at hand

we, at the time, cant GET much "switch being switch" content unfortunately because the conflicts theyre facing are: natsume and tsumugi being too busy with work and dont have as much time to spend with the unit and sora wanting to grow independent and to rely less on his seniors. theres also things such as natsume and tsumugi now trusting and being comfortable with each other which has manifested in them having long in-depth conversations about topics sora doesnt understand, so he feels excluded. aswell as the point most people have brought up of natsume being far more doting with sora than he is tsumugi, and tsumugi and sora just dont quite have that strong of a bond in comparison to their relationships with natsume. i Do think though people have been viewing the doting part in a very surface level way....... or tbh, most of their conflicts have been viewed very surface level-y i feel, and thats whats lead to so many people being painfully negative because they havent stopped to think about Why's and How's. But i dont know. it could always be me not understanding so 🤷‍♀️ how complicated......

#i wanna see more people think for themselves!!! more people to come up with their OWN hcs and theories!!!!!#and not see people be spoonfed all their info by the same handful of people!!#INCLUDING ME!!! my word is not gospel im just some guy that likes an enstars unit!!#take everything i say with a grain of salt because my perceptions will ALSO be biased no matter how hard i try being neutral!!!#lets think for ourselves from time to time!!!!!!#ask

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pommunist · 1 month

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i hope i dont sound like i am immediately picking apart what you said because i basically agree with 99% of it i just wanted to add a couple of thoughts i had (this got so much longer than i intended i am so sorry)

I don’t like how he said to be mindful about the intentions of people who raised the question, because a lot of them had genuine concern about it being a possibility and this could have been a very serious and dangerous thing if it had been true.

i fully agree with what you said here - however i feel like the death threats/harassment he was getting kinda justifies what he was saying to an extent. in his position, i doubt he is looking at each and every account to figure out whether the individual was coming from a place of concern or was adding onto the harassment. i don't think outright dismissing things like this is a good idea so to speak, but to me it does make sense, from his pov, to tell people to be mindful. many of those people were coming from a place of concern, but i can see how some of it could have came off as less than such in addition to the threats he was getting even though they were mostly separate situations. if this hadn't been the case it would have rubbed me more in the wrong way, but i can understand why he would say it in this scenario even if its like :/.

however this is something i would encourage of everyone - he is not wrong to basically be saying check the source of where you are getting your information from. i would say 90% of the people talking about it were acting in good faith, but that is not always the case, and people acting in bad faith can still have good points that should be taken seriously. it is just something that i think everyone should take note of - in any situation everyone is going to have bias and if you're going to take someones words as fact you should recognize that. that goes for quackity's words too. he is obviously biased in one way in this situation which doesnt mean he is lying in every word he says, but take that into account when looking at what he says. same goes for the admins who speak out you know?

And great that he’s saying that there has been some restructuring made within the team, and hopefully these changes will only leave the studios with competent people who are good intentioned towards everyone involved. I won’t like though, I fail to see how asking for everyone’s feedback and taking it into account to make these changes wasn’t an option. Also the fact that this restructuring ended up causing them to massively letting go of all the twitter teams as well as some other admins is still an issue.

this is a double edged sword imo - im gonna take it in two parts. he says that the restructuring is good and full of people who are good intentioned, but there really is no way to know that? i am under the assumption that he thought the first set of people were good and they weren't, and im not saying we can't trust these people/his judgement, but there truly is no way to know until things progress. id like to trust that the new management is good, but im wary just because of everything and it is hard to put trust into the new managment without seeing anything come out of it. i know these things take time, but its hard to blindly trust that these guys are good when there is nothing to prove it.

on the twitter admins/other admins, as much as i do not agree with it, it does make sense. it sucks and i hate that it happened, but it was pretty clear that financially keeping the same amount of admins on the team wasn't going to work. removing the twitter admins seems like a logical choice (i loved what they did. i wish they weren't removed. but in the grand scheme of things it does make sense to let them go first because even if it sucks the life and some of the fun out of it, their jobs were not essential to keeping the server running) but the way it was gone about was so... not it. the way they were all informed of how they were fired was just not good. point blank not good. i dont know if there was a way to keep them on while being able to pay them, im inclined to believe at the moment he probably wasn't lying and there wasn't, but it doesnt change the fact that that situation was not handled well. they could have let them go with more communication to the situation. thats what bothers me the most.

Meanwhile people will discuss these topics that are so far removed from the main issue and focus less on what the admins went through.

THIS!!! i do understand why people have brought talks about lore and stuff into this conversation - it highlights what the admins went through using tangible examples lol, but part of me wishes they hadn't because exactly as you said. people focus on these issues and not the other ones! it happened at the start of this too, where people focus on the lore/story related problems (which isn't a wrong thing to point out) but in doing so kinda push away the other issues even if that isnt the intent. sharing these stories was not to complain about pushing x creators lore to the front and holding y creator's back but to highlight some of the conditions and i wish that didn't get misconstrued as much as i feel like it has.

Hey anon ! sorry if i took so long to answer but I’ve wanted to take the time to answer everyone of your point !

-I can also see where he was coming from, and I also don’t doubt that there were bad intentioned people in the lot (thinking of a particular group of people, i think you can guess who 🟩). It’s just that it paints people who have genuine criticism/concern as just being haters, and it’s not the first time he used the "things said by people with bad intentions" point so I’m kinda over it

-YES to everything you said about researching information !!!! Jumping to conclusions or blindly believing any piece of info you see is literally doing for harm than good for anyone involved, always always try to find sources source, fact check and look from an unbiased POV the things you see. Will never forget when the union released their first statement and I saw people either saying that they were a fake account trying to smear the reputation project or that quackity was going to jail, I was like « oh my, we are cooked » 😭

-Also agree with your next point, but as you said we don’t know who these people are (and I don’t necessarily think we should know btw), so we can only hope that they will be competent and caring people who will run the studio in accordance with the law and with better work ethics.

-On the twitter admins getting fired well first we can agree that the way it was done is fucked up. And I understand the difficulty of the financial aspect (to an extent, don’t ask me details about finance, idk shit about money numbers lmao), but it’s giving « Your work was very needed and appreciated while it was free, but now that we may have to pay you we can actually do without it, bye guys ». Especially ehhhh about it since multiple Twitter admins have expressed that getting paid wasn’t an issue, the working conditions were. Though to be fair idk exactly how volunteer work is regulated in every country the admins were from so this may have played a part in their firing.

-And finally yes, the distracting from what matters. Like fans can discuss whatever they want obviously, my argument is more about Q here, like dude are you really sure the main point of contention here is to debate whether or not you were overly interfering in other ccs lore ??? Don’t get me wrong, great that you’re saying it wasn’t the case but the main point of everything was missed by a mile.

Also don’t worry your ask didnt came across as you picking apart what I had said but even if it was, as long as you’re not rude i dont mind people coming to my askbox like « tumblr user pommunist you are wrong about everything and let me tell you why »

#qadmins situation

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crackedpumpkin · 10 months

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Ohmygod bro good job getting your coffee cause I would’ve barely survived that too!!! Good looking people in general really just be paralyzing people for some reason 😭

Cafe hopping really is fun tho, now that I think about it I have a similar story too with fumbling words. I went to this craft store for the first time and was tryna look for string cause I wanted to make those necklace bottle things, I asked the two people working in English, and since they had a hard time communicating with me they literally ran to another working person then running back to find me in the small shop! I didn’t get string in the end but I got the bottle! Could’ve avoided that if I just spoke my native language- but I didn’t cause adults (the older ones in my family) usually made fun of me for it 😭

The little moments really make the big things!! Both of you, amazing writers, no lie. I’ve been thinking of writing too so is it okay if I ask what the advice was? /nf

Michael gets arc’d! No more chip docking! But genuinely based of you to put that much care into your characters and stories 💖

Yes please I didn’t even know fruit-ade is an actual word- I was just making things up-

i aspire to one day be that pretty.

Please the way I wheezed- fr though, never be afraid to speak your own native language! My second language is Chinese and I am horrible at speaking it under pressure. I even got laughed at by my boss - that's how bad it was lmaooo, but honestly i don't really care. I'm just happy it makes people smile and laugh at it alongside me^^

As for the advice given by blake, it was focusing about the small things that led up to the big moment! This is purely my own interpretation though, but essentially always justify their actions. For example, if i make babes fall for miles outta nowhere then it's a little sudden, right? There's gotta be some form of catalyst that caused it in the first place.

Especially in the situation theyre currently in. Neither are entirely sure what they are yet, besides employer and employee. Before even progressing to being lovers and stuff they gotta form some kinda bond first, right? So the main thing for me was how to justify each step in their relationship.

Aka, is it reasonable for them to warm up to each other by this stage?? Or are they still on rocky terms with each other? It's honestly a fun challenge for me to write, because it gives me a chance to put myself in their shoes more thoroughly.

Even irl, there's gotta be a catalyst to make you fall for someone in the first place, right? Maybe one day you notice their eyes are really nice, or maybe you like the way their laugh sounds. Even before that, it's the little things that they do to make you feel safe in the first place :) relationships dont form overnight, after all~

"i would need to read the full thing through but a good rule of thumb for progression is either feeling it out and reasoning through if their reactions make sense or making it clear that time has passed between chapters and giving it a little suspension of disbelief" - @buthowboutno-spamming

bro, when you start writing please tag me in it!! I would love to read your work, and i know you can do it!! Honestly take it from me - dont take things too seriously. Writing is meant to be fun, not stressful. Like, when blank canvas started out it was just for shits and giggles and goofy and fun. thats what i was aiming for the whole time, and i wanted people who read my fic to hopefully smile or even do the lil nose huff thing we all do when we find something on the internet funny ^^

I'll add on a little advice of my own - feel free to ignore it lolol, but essentially:

I find it really helpful to have some form of plan or outline for your fic. Mine s constantly being adjusted, but it helps so much when you write your chapter and maybe realize oh wait iwanna do this here and do that there, and you know where everything should go like a puzzle piece! Something else I'd say is that there doesnt always have to be drama lmao, sometimes a sweet heartwarming fic is enough. You're enough.

Again, the little moments matter, right? That's why in chapter five i just kinda did a little hangout session :)

And omg when i say i am thrilled to write michael's character arc fr. an eureka moment hit me outta nowhere and immediately i RAN to tell @theblindhag because she has been honestly nothig but supportive and an absolutely lovely human bean. Which also kinda reminds me: having a good friend listen to all the crazy ideas in your head is so amazing fr, and i hope you have/will find that friend. Honestly, feel free to send in asks whenever - id be more than happy to have a chat or chill out!

I'll make a post on the fruitade soon, its like 1am where i am rn lmao. keep your eyes peeled for it anon!! it's the actual easiest to make, trust.

As a little bonus extra, allow me to share a little moment from upcoming chapters :)

#CPRambles

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