｡ﾟﾟ･｡･ﾟﾟ｡ ﾟ. April will bring blessings.

ﾟ･｡･ﾟ

pick a pile: what u need to know rn

disclaimer: pick a pile readings r for a collective so it might not all resonate, if it doesn’t apply let it flow. but i do still hope this resonates for someone.

pile 1 ✿

”when will it be my turn?” it will be ur turn when u decide to finally stop wondering will it be ur turn and prioritize ur needs instead of your wants. sometimes everything can’t happen right now, don’t lose hope bc something isn’t happening right when you want it to. be patient. this group is craving stability or really wants to reach a goal but keeps encountering things or losing motivation. but things just don’t happen overnight u need to trust the universe’s timing and put in the work to achieve ur goals as well. nothing will happen if u don’t put in the effort for these things to happen but that doesn’t mean that u need to rush. take accountability for urself ♡︎.

song that matches the vibe:

pile 2❥

someone is in love, huh? it’s a very beautiful thing to love & accept that love too. u deserve love & to feel loved idk i feel like this group has hard time opening up in terms to love like when y’all realize that u have interest in someone or when y’all are in a situationship/relationship and things get too deep it’s like y’all wanna run away. but in order be with this person you want to be with or that you currently are with, you have to accept love. you have to accept their flaws and you have to be able to come to terms with the fact that you have some too. for those who picked this pile and not in a relationship or in love, you need to stop criticizing yourself so much. there may be some issues with self-image, stop comparing urself to people. be more gentle to yourself. who says you can’t be in a relationship with yourself? treat yourself the way you want your ideal partner to you. do u treat urself with care? and i don’t mean doing face masks or over-spending in the name of self-love. have you sat with yourself and really absorbed the fact that you are you, despite everything you have come to be the person you are now and that is amazing. self-love is like healing, there’s always ups and down’s. and it’s not always pretty. overall, single or not this group needs to become more accepting of love in all forms❦.

song that matches the vibe:

pile 3☆

i feel like this group has been upset/ sad bc something didn’t go the way they expected. at work? school? somewhere away from home. either that or some recent experience really humbled you. and it has left this group feeling defeated or wanting to give up. was this thing that went wrong last minute? or job interview didn’t work out? rejection = redirection. sometimes things don’t work out. and that’s okay. please try not to dwell on this issue too much i promise there are better things arising for you. life has many paths and sometimes those paths have bumpy roads. continue to do your best. big changes coming up regarding ur $$ in mid march- early april. its not a bad thing i feel like its either a promotion or a better job, or regarding financial aid for school. overall, you’re doing well. keep going and it’s okay to take breaks.

song that matches the vibe:

I posted 13,101 times in 2022

That's 472 more posts than 2021!

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I tagged 582 of my posts in 2022

#reference - 4 posts

#mood - 4 posts

#oh look she speaks - 4 posts

#yeah - 2 posts

#felt this - 2 posts

#oh no - 2 posts

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#i'm not goth enough to give that slogan the appreciation it deserves - 2 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#maybe it's sleep deprivation making it easier for your brain to go fuck it and just let the words come instead of worrying about perfection

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Crash

0 notes - Posted April 1, 2022

#4

Hello hello! I hope you have a sweet sweeet day and remember to hydrate ❤️

Thank you! You too!

1 note - Posted July 30, 2022

#3

You know when you show your friend a funny video and you're waiting for them to laugh but they just watch the video and then go back to what they were doing without even an amused smile and you feel like an idiot for even trying to show them something you thought they might like

That's how y'all treat fic authors and fan artists on this site

2 notes - Posted September 23, 2022

#2

I say this in the nicest way possible but your oneshot WIP with 12k is literally longer than some of my whole ass multichapter fics with like 8 chapters

Would you believe me if I told you I didn't know I don't write average length oneshots until I saw my writer friends talk about how they thought 9k was long for a oneshot

3 notes - Posted July 28, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

hewwo reb i see u i love u

* FREE TRIAL OF SEEING THIS USER EXPIRED *

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16 notes - Posted December 1, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

happy new year april ( ˶ᵔᵕᵔ˶)づ🥂⊹ ࣪ ˖ !! i hope the last day of ur year was just as lovely as u & that 2024 treats u w nothing but love & good things !! sending u the biggest warmest hug ever!! <3 <3

OH MY GOSH HI MAI

Happy new year! 🎆🎇🎊

The way I had to stare at my phone screen for a good minute to make sure it was actually you telling me happy new years in my inbox ( ∩´͈ ᐜ `͈∩)

Thank you so much! I'll study hard for finals this year and hopefully enjoy my summer break! (I'm looking forward to it <3)

I hope you have a wonderful day/night/morning/evening, you deserve all the kindness the world has to offer and I hope you know that.

Hugs! <3

i love hearing from u every time <3 it just takes so much for me to respond for some reason shdhshs BUT i understand that on an insane level, ive just been smoking mary jane n reading it and i LOVE it sm, out of my two friends that have read it they both agree i’m moony so i’m not sure what that says but it makes me happy

YOU DESERVE IT ALL BEE MY LOVE!! remembering insignificant things is such a love language of mine i- i understand the down bad, how’s it going with him! did you guys hangout? did he bring over take out food from his uncles restaurant just to see you? does he carry a book in his pocket? hehe

i’ve definitely been resting a lot recently! i also started therapy which i think is helping with everything (: plus everything is winding down and i’ll be traveling home soon and i’m kinda excited to be back home, with my full wardrobe and my dab pen to be quite honest shdhs…but month wise october and april have my heart, i love rainy gloomy weather so they’re currently battling for my affection, like i love spring but i love fall n it’s so sweet and spooky

no new dates thankfully, i have a deep hatred of men forever and always but this truly put me in a different spot. the audacity. but thank u for ur well wishes, i’ll find someone eventually but i’m in no rush, honestly i really enjoy being alone!! p.s i forgot to tell u i dyed my whole head red! like bright red! it’s cutie but i’m excited for it to fade already shdhs

i love you lots my bee!! congratulations on 1.5k that is literally fucking insane!! you deserve everything and more. forever will be my fav writer on here and i shall celebrate by participating in ur celebration and reading ur fics of course (:< (i’m sorry for how long this is shdhs)

mars mars mars!!! its now my turn to apologise for my disappearance,, ive missed you! that honestly sound like. an amazing way to spend your time and i am eternally jealous that im not doing that rn.. i think that's an amazing compliment tbh (and you DO give such moony vibes!!!)

and... we went on another date a couple of days ago>:) we went to a really cute cafe n then explored the christmas markets and he held my hand so he wouldn't lose me in the crowds so its safe to say im. being so calm and normal about him. and BSHJBDFJ i wish smh😔 he has however been giving me incredible book recommendations which is not helping with my whole down bad problem.

i hope therapy is treating you well!! i know it can be super helpful,, along with resting a lot,, so im so happy to hear!!! heading home is always absolutely lovely, i hope its nothing but calming and cosiness for you!!! incredible month choices i must say (and they also make so much sense in the best way!!!)

being single is so underrated tbh!!!! sometimes being alone is ten times better than being stuck with an average man,, in fact it nearly always is. BUT that sound so so pretty, and i bet you look absolutely stunning with it!!!!

i love you lots and lots mars,, thank you so so much wtf!!! sending you all of my love and well wishes, and happy first of december!!!

Can u elaborate a bit more on sarah and ava’s relationship in disorder!au

this is the ask i was going to start with “it’s the same as in canon” except. i forgot that reesker isn’t canon. anyway i’m a clown <3

(eating disorder tw!!)

although they both knew each other from work, the first time they spoke was one night when they just happened to be at molly’s at the same time

April and Maggie had convinced Sarah to come with them, bc they felt like she needed to let her hair down a bit (which is true. sis works too hard)

Ava was there with Connor and some of the other CT staff and she just. wasn’t really vibing with it tbh. like. they’re all nice enough, but she’d have preferred to be at home, drinking on her couch while she watched the shittiest movie she could find (she likes watching awful films bc she finds them hilarious. especially those Ultra Straight romcoms. she hates them but there’s something about them that means she Has to watch them)

anyway. she went up to the bar to get another drink, and Sarah was right there (with a seat free next to her!)

they got talking while Ava was waiting for her drink, and then Sarah asked her if she wanted to sit with her

she’s never normally that bold, especially around hot women, but she’d been drinking so she was kinda just like Hey, let’s see what happens!

they spent the rest of the night talking (and Maggie and April were both  👀 at them bc there was obviously a bit of flirting going on), then ended up leaving the bar together and going back to Ava’s place!!

nothing much happened between them - they were slightly drunk so there was a bit of kissing and touching, but nothing more - and they ended up falling asleep together

Sarah’s never really done that before (she doesn’t have much experience in relationships) so she was kind of 😳, but Ava assured her that nothing happened, and all they did was sleep

Sarah wanted things to go further with Ava, but at the same time she also didn’t want to get her hopes up bc she thought this was just a one time thing

but then they kept seeing each other at work (obviously) and Ava would always make the effort to talk to Sarah, even if it was just to ask her how her day was, or to tell her that her hair looked nice

they started “officially” dating after a couple of months (because they’re lesbians, which means they’re constantly like “Is she being nice to me because she’s nice or because she wants to [redacted] me?”

 a few weeks into their relationship, Sarah opened up to Ava about her mental health history, bc she trusted her, and she felt like it was something Ava should know about

(this included the fact that she had an eating disorder in high school/college)

for the most part, everything was okay in terms of Sarah’s mental health

then as things started spiralling with her fears surrounding her job, she started to find comfort in her old coping mechanisms again, mainly the ones to do with food

obviously, Ava was really worried when she noticed that Sarah was eating less, but every time she tried to bring it up and ask if she was okay, Sarah would snap at her and tell her she was fine

Ava cares about Sarah a lot, and she just wants to help her, but she has no idea how

Sarah’s eating disorder definitely put a strain on their relationship, because she just. constantly had her guard up. she became more distant, and wasn’t putting as much effort into the relationship because she was so focused on food and calories and exercise all the time

she was barely coping with her job, and trying to maintain a relationship at the same time was too much

Ava knew it wasn’t anything she’d done that was making Sarah act like this, and that it was because she was sick, but that didn’t make things any easier for her

it hurt her, seeing Sarah doing this to herself, and occasionally Ava would get frustrated because she felt so helpless, and she’d end up snapping at Sarah

it was just. a really hard time for both of them, and tbh if Ava had decided to stop putting in the effort their relationship would have disintegrated pretty quickly

but Ava wanted to be there for Sarah

she wanted to help her recover, and she wanted to have a future with her

she was there throughout Sarah’s recovery (and the couple of relapses she had) and she always encouraged her

she’d make food for Sarah that she knew she’d be able to handle, and she took all of Dr Charles’ advice on how to act around/talk to someone with an eating disorder

(obviously you don’t treat them Majorly differently, but he explained to her that telling Sarah she looked “healthier” now, or making pretty much any comments about food was a Bad Idea)

(and yes there’s other advice he gave her but that’s not the point of this ask)

Sarah wasn’t necessarily dependent on Ava, but her presence and constant support made the recovery process a Lot easier, and Sarah would often tell her that she wouldn’t have been able to do it without her

anyway yeah. it’s just a lot of Ava supporting Sarah and being there for her, even when things are difficult or Sarah’s insisting that she doesn’t deserve this type of love

and she loves Ava so much as well, but her eating disorder kind of dulled everything in her life so it was almost like she couldn’t access those feelings, if that makes sense?

everything was so focused on her eating disorder that she couldn’t show Ava that she loved her the way she wanted to, and she feels bad for that (but Ava always assures her that it’s okay and she doesn’t blame her for it, and all that matters to her is that she’s getting better)

@schnozzbun-art​ requested some details for the Our Way Playlist I made so i threw it under here! It’s long sorry :/ 

1. Father and Son - Cat Stevens: this song ended up being the main song i would listen to when i would get in the vibe of writing- to the point where i would reread the first chapter with it on to make sure that i was in the vibe lol. While not all the lyrics match, this song really nails the feeling of being a scared parent trying their best. Theres a lot of love in it, and i adore it. 

2. Brandy - Looking Glass: this playlist follows the story fairly loosely, so I wanted this to be Renee’s song. She’s fun and upbeat, and i thought that it really nails down what we THOUGHT Renee was at this point- just a pretty girl that falls in love with a rolling stone. 

3. Just When I Needed You Most - Randy VanWarmer: Renee dies u_u and I was trying to show that spy was very lost right after. 

4. I’m Not In Love - 10cc: whoops how many of these are on the guardians of the galaxy soundtracks rip  At this point we’ve hit the main story, and we have spy very curious of mundy and his intentions. I also dont think spy has really fallen for anyone since Renee, and I think he had himself convinced that he didnt want to find anyone else. this is that lol

5. Moonlight Serenade - Glenn Miller: now this is THE song of this fic lol. I used to play in a jazz band myself, and this song always was so dreamy. It’s slow and romantic with this strange note of longing. I love the old recording quality of it, u feel nostalgic for something u dont know. there were lyrics made later by other artists for singing, but they are just a tad too cheesy for my taste

6. La Vie En Rose - Edith Piaf: I used to listen to the orchestrated version of this song from Bioshock Infinite that u can find here. I enjoy both versions immensely, but the og one is what was on spotify so here we are lol. OH and spy is french, so yeah 

7. Something Stupid - Studio Sound group: The version I am most used to is Sinatra’s version that can be found here. This was the closest version i could find- but i adore this song as well, especially considering its a great consensual pining song. We also have sniper saying stupid lolll, all things considered it was fairly soon after they had met, and I think that was a scary thing for them. 

8. Love Me Like There’s No Tomorrow - Freddie Mercury: I fucking cry like 1 out of every 3 times of hearing this song i stg. If theres anyone that can do raw emotion its Freddie. I was looking for a song that conveyed the storming of the agency (and was upbeat for some other songs on the list) without being an action-y song. I debated putting this song in the playlist at all, hoping that it wouldnt be disrespectful to the source material and the origin of its creation. It’s an incredibly powerful experience for the ears.

9. In Our Bedroom After The War - Stars: once upon of time i was pretty sure on having one of the mercs die (NOT demo as a twist lol) This was something i later didnt like, but i still enjoyed this songs acknowledgement of others sacrifices (in this case, mostly Renee’s in terms of death) and the process of grief into victory. A bittersweet victory and looking forward to the future. 

10. Death Of A Bachelor - David Fowler: Panic! at the Disco did this song amazingly well, but it had a lot of electric beats and the whatnot that I think didn’t fit any of the other songs on the playlist, so I chose a nice cover. This is for spy, spy deserves a “im cool” song. It’s also a good transition into some more modern songs and upbeat I have near the end. 

11. My Type - Saint Motel: This was the last song added, but i LOVED how it tied in. The sax at the beginning, the use of “love comes wearing disguises”- it was just a fun song to add of them finally being open. I added 2 Saint Motel songs and I ended up placing them next to each other. Of the two, this one is more like Spy lmao. 

12. Cold Cold Man - Saint Motel: I loved this song for sniper, but i wasn’t dead set on adding it in until I had other more modern songs to back it up. I think (especially in this AU) he’s very reserved simply because he isn’t used to company but a side effect of this is also really attaching onto people he does care about. 

13. Moonlight Serenade - Lucky Chops: when looking for other recordings of this song to listen to I came across this and just KNEW it was like the “credits” song. I was blown away at how lovely the arrangement is. Here we have the dreamy tune played with a “hey everything turned out ok after all” vibe. All of Lucky Chops stuff is great btw please give them love 

14. My Way - Frank Sinatra: Hey when did I start this fic? May 2017? And when did the Kingsman 2 trailer come out??? April 2017?? What a WEIRD coincidence. This totally did not effect how I treated this AU. Not at all. I definitely didn’t name the fic after this song but in a weird way that no one got dkjvnsdvkjvnds  But honestly, Ive loved this song for years and it’s an amazing note to end on. 

I loved your last rankings so much that I'm sending you another fun (?!) challenge! How would you rate all these male GA characters from your favorite to least favorite, no ties allowed? :) Alex, Derek, Richard, Mark, Owen, Jackson, Burke, George, Andrew, Linc and Ben? Good luck, and as always, feel free to include your reasons why because I love your answers!

Ohhh boy you give me life with those asks! Here we go:

1 - As no surprise to anyone: Alex. My baby had the best character development I’ve ever seen, really, brcaus ewhile it was huge, it was also paced and believable and stabilished and non-linear. He was a huge asshole with a concealed heart of gold in season one. In season 15, he’s a golden boy with a concealed asshole side, and the growth/diminishment of those sides weren’t always inversely proportionate, but adjusted to what each characteristic was brought out more by his surroundings/worked more on by himself. Also, he’s the person that has stuck with mer for the longest and through the most, which would put him in a high place in this list even if he wasn’t my favorite on his own. I also adore how, thematically, he’s so moved by the women in his life (bot just the romantic i terests while we are at it) for the betterment of himself and hsi ways. It’s not like Owen’s “I’ll need her to take care of me emptionally and shape herself to my desires so I can be in a good place, it’s recognizing those positive influences in his life and trying to emulate them/work with them/learn from them. Also about his theme, itms less the worn-out “guy is validated in being an asshole bc he had a tough life” and more “guy learns that his tough life doesn’t mean he gotta act like an asshole”. I love this character so much, ugh.

2 - Ben. A freaking Disney prince would be a sleeazy douche in comparison. I was so weirded out when Shobda decided to give so much focus to this random-ass character, then I was really turned off by his storyline with the cutting people open and all that (not necessarily because I thought he was wrong, I just felt the storyline was handled awkwardly and made him sound pelutant and irresponsible instead of a promissing, if stubborn, future surgeon. I’ve yet to watch Station 19, but this angel with a scalpel and a fire hose for wings deserves his own goddamn spin-off, for sure.

3 - My baby Andrew. Yeah, he is not that developed, has been inconsistent, his change from “freaking out over Maggie being his boss” to “marvellung at Meredith’s every movie even though she’s kinda even more his boss because she owns the hospital” was... A B R U P T. But I really enjoy this new Andrew - as a side note: I could not care less for him during the whole Sam storyline, he seemed like a toned down Jonhy Bravo - He’s smart and sweet and funny and worships Mer like the Wonder Woman she is. His relationships with Arizona, Amelia, Jo, Carina and now Alex need more screentime because they’re great (or have the potential to be so). He’s competent and brilliant and selfless (dropping the charges on Alex even if he was completely in the right, taking the blame for mer now) and so tender (his absolute gentleness in peds, taking care of Amy after the operation, being a moody, emotive boy because he lost his love instead of a macho men...). The future holds great things for him, and I’m excited to watch them unfold!

4 - Not on your list but I love: Tom. Boy is he nice. As I was figuring out this order, I realized he reminds me a lot of my favorite character (Dean Winchester) - or at least what I think Dean would be if he was older, richer and lived without the Supernatural World and so many traumas. His talk to April was so moving and I felt it really helped. He doesn’t stand on a moral high horse: He does what he thinks is right and damned be judgment. He’s empathetic, he’s romantic, he treats Teddy RIGHT. He deserves to have his own storyline and be more developed and show us kore of his awesomeness.

5 - Jackson. As I said in my ships rating answer, I’ve only started to care for him recently, but I really do care. He’s not a character I’d, like, write fic about, or long rants and meta, but I love his sibling-esque relationship with Mer and his relationship with Maggie and the way he connects with his mom and how this spoiled, immature transfer with something to prove became a respected, innovative surgeon and father who’s secure of himself and ready to explore different paths and ways and worldviews. I just wish him, and the Grey’s fandom, would be less defensive about the callout of his privileged life. Like. I’ve seen people write paragraphs upon paragraphs about how Maggie was a bitch for calling him privileged. And he is (for his hoards upon hoards of money growing up). That’s not too hard a concept to grasp. Plus, it’d be nice if he could treat Maggie as less of a consolation prize/second chance. Just because faith (or lack thereof) was a source of tension in his previous marriage, and he feels like changing that would have made everything better, doesn’t mean the same applies to his current relationship, or that Maggie is the one who should change -he learned, learned, and is back in square one seeing only his side of it - I really hope this season treats him more kindly and gives him happiness and peace!

6 - Richard. I love him for his parental-and-ish relationships, specially to Maggie, Mer and Jackson, but to Bailey and Callie too. That’s my favorite aspect of him, watching those gives me a nice, warm feeling in my tummy and puts a smile on my face. There’s some aspects of him I find either boring or unpleasant, and I think it’s kinda annoying how him retiring has been a theme/conflict since, like, season one, and fast-foward ten years and he’s basically an entity at the hospital. Like? What? Was the point? You’ve waisted my time? For nothing? But he’s a solid, reliable character you can’t really hate and who brings more good than bad to the show by far. As a side note: one day I will yell at him for his treatment of Maggie after she talked about HER OWN HISTORY and he basically called her a mistake (although he apologized pretty soon and she forgave him so so will I).

7 - Mark. He was great and all that, but never sparked that love some characters did. I was sad when he died, I loved his scenes and relationships, I just am not invested in him. Plus the immaturity in his relationship with Lexie pisses me off a bit, as does his “man whore” personality.

8 - Link. Genuinely love him, he’s been nothing but sweet and kind and fun and helpful this entire time! I cheered for Merlink sooooo much imat first, and I really wish their friendship will be developed! Him and Jo are everything I never knew I needed. He has no arguable flaws besides being so sculped it freaks me out a little bit, but he isn’t higher up in my rank because there isn’t much material for that yet, but expect a climb as he becomes more and more regular.

9 - Burke. He was kinda sweet and did a good thing for Cristina (the hospital). He was also manipulative and arrogant and voundary-crossing in their relationship. I might like him better if it was bot for Burktina, but we will never know.

10 - Owen. Toxic as fuck, annoying, controlling, disgusting. Those are all things that very much apply to Owen in a lot of situations. Screaming at Cristina for “murdering their baby”? YIKES. Big no no. He was not suited for romantic relationships at all and I wish the show would realize that and allow him that space and breathing time without being stuck in a complicated relationship with loads of baggage or a love triangle. Because that’s my whole thing about him: I believe he has room for growth. His relationship with April is pretty amazing, he was always so considerate and gentle with her, all the time, and I want to see more of that bond. He loves kids and can be really good with them, he has a lot of things to work out with the traumas of his father’s death + war + his sister’s story. Why not focus on that? Why not show him growing and processing and bettering himself and living up to the potential he has? I feel like they gave the all the wrong romantic storylines to the character who’s otherwise really good and that’s such a shame because I really enjoyed him at first. Lets see what happens from now on, and if he gets a dose of tv’s “heterosexual love and a nuclear biological family solve everything!” medicine or if this is a turning point for him.

11 - Derek. He never really had any appeal to me. Not his face, not his personality, not his storylines or plot points pr the actor. That’s reason enough for him to rank low, but I also think he had some really bad traits. He was arrogant and condescending and had a God complex and was sexist and pushy and just not great for the people around him. Exploiting Amy’s addiction being outed to steal surgeries? Refusing to give Mer credit on their clinic trial? Putting ultimatums on his girlfriend that she either has to be ready for a full, committed relationship or end things, then call her a slut when she sleeps with other guys after they broke up? Cheating on Addison after deciding to work things out? Stringing mer and addie along? Not saying he was married in the first place? Pushing Mer’s boundaries after she was clearly uncomfortable with having slept with her boss? Refusing to have an inch of empathy for Mer’s action regarding the trial despite her complicated history with the people she was trying to help (who were her friends, actually?)? Telling his depressed girlfriend that she should be concerned the happiest part of his day was flirting with another girl from the bar? Ratting out on Richard to the board because he wanted the spot? Not acknowledging Mer’s trauma after the shooting? Kissing nurse Rose while building the dream house? Kissing his student while being married in NY? Pushing his wife to move and saying his career was more important than his after he had compromised on letting her shine? All things that, isolated, can even be understood on context and “everyone makes mistakes”, but that when put together, make it pretty clear it’s a pattern of someone with very little regard to the people around him. Was he a good surgeon? Yeah. Great father as well. He also had some interesting relationships and iconic scenes, truly, I can recognize that. I hurt for the people he loved and left behind (and I genuinely think he loved them and meant well), but he himself I don’t miss at all.

12 - I think George is the clearest contrast between how old greys handled matters of sexism and gender and sexuality and how it does now. He was such a sleazy nice guy at times, it is unbearable to me. And he ranks lower than Derek because A) His relationships also bored me while Derek’s could pique my interest at times, B) There’s no talk about his mistakes. Remember when he (in his own words) took advantage of Meredith being on a terrible, delicate, vulnerable place (still hiding her mother’s Alzheimer’s and seeing a person be blown to pieces and being dumped by who she thought was the one and being rejected by her father for the second time after seeing him for the first time in tweenty years) and, knowing that she was not interested in him, pursued her, then after she started crying because of the literal pile of shit she was having to carry around (and still trying to preserve his feelings), got mad at her and everyone sided with him? It baffled younger me to bits that what Mer had “done” was so terrible, it has not stoped bafflinn me in the years that have passed since. Can you imagine any of the girls crying during sex because they’re so overwhelmed and feel like that’s a mistake, and the guy freaks out on them and they’re instantly ostracized by the narrative and characters? That’s essentially criticizing her for the right of saying no, of stopping when she doesn’t want to continue, of not giving away her time and feels just because a goofy guy who is her friend feels entitled to them. That’s the word: entitled. He literally says he “saw her first”. How’s that not Nice Guy 101? I would understand his ego being bruised, but the guilt tripping and the bitching and the fact none of that is treated as a fucking creepy thing? Yikes. Also how he treated Callie, who deserved so, so much better. And even Olivia who was perfectly lovely and did nothing wrong besides having sex with more than one guy without breaking either of their trusts because she wasn’t in a relationship with any of them. Did he do some good things? Sure did! Joey’s surgery costs being cut, helping Bailey give birth, some of his interactions with patients were really sweet, and he died giving his life for someone else. It’s just that consequence-less sexism and entitlement that never gets adressed and gets treated as not only valid, but right, that makes him go rom unappealing to downright hated for me. Better left in the past where people can misplacedly idolize him!

Thank you so much for asking, I love those thought-inspiring asks! <3

BTS Analysis;

I don’t even know if I can call this an unpopular opinion bc I know some people agree with this, this is more of an in-depth analysis and personal experience I guess. It’s all about bts... and its lowkey a mess. I apologise in advance for any grammar/spelling errors, and times I may contradict myself a bit. This is something that REALLY bothers me. I just want to clarify that I love bts a lot, and that I was the HUGEST STAN for a good 5ish months. I still stan them but not as much due to the following reasons.

They just don’t make good music anymore.  They love yourself era was when everything turned to shit. The actual core love yourself concept is very good but,,,, it was executed really poorly.

Dna was my first comeback with them, even though I’ve been listening to them since august 2016. But when actually became a stan in April 2017, I was obsessed with them. I was so damn excited for their September 2017 cb that my standards were through the roof. During the summer they changed the logo and did the beyond the scene thing,,, that’s the first thing that kind of irked me,,, and then they did the highlight reels in the style of I need u and they were redeemed.

When love yourself her started promotions and teasers, the bar was higher than the person who edited the DNA mv. The concept pics were so unfitting??? And just lacked that aesthetic element. I dint like them at all,,,, and the album cover was,,, below standard and looked rushed and lazily designed. But when serendipity came out I loved it (and I still do) so that fuelled my expectations for the music, even though they weren’t really that damaged by the odd first impression of the album. But then DNA came out and???? I was so disappointed?????? The beat was so annoying,,, the mv was so ugly,, the outfits were ugly,,, the lyrics were weird. In other words DNA was just a straight up flop... I hoped the rest of the album would have been better but,,,, it really, REALLY wasn’t.

After love yourself her I lost a lot of interest in bts. I missed their old music so much, and I was genuinely upset over it. I didn’t follow them as closely as I used to. I started to joke about them with my friends who lost interest in bts before me, but I still missed the old bts so much. The whole Ellen show thing, all the western media like Buzzfeed and Billboard making vids and articles about bts, all the rigged award shows, it pissed me off bc they were getting famous in the US bc of their worst album that didn’t display their full potential at all!!!!

Imma just go out and say it, armys are one of the most toxic fandoms ever.

Sometimes they’re just plain disrespectful and starting arguments where they don’t belong. I wouldn’t be able to count how many times I got attacked on Twitter, Instagram and even in the YouTube comments for expressing a different opinion. I remember all the fan wars and scandals. All the mobs at airports, All the times k-fans and i-fans tried to ruin another groups reputation (I’m not saying other fans never did this, bc it was always a thing, but it was never this extreme.) and the fuckin credit card thing oh my god,,,, a huge shitstorm caused by one fandom that lasts for years on end.

When bts got really mainstream, and gained more young western fans, they really ruined bts even further for me. Not to mention all the cringey tweets and memes, they hurt to look at. I absolutely don’t mind the “you got no jams” meme or the “ExCuSE mE” one, bc theyre just pure goof from the members, but when armys took it and overused it, that’s when it started to get annoying.

Some armys genuinely think bts is the only kpop group and that the world revolves around them. They comment “annyeonghaseyo any armys here???!!!” in the most unexpected places, I deadass saw someone on my overwatch team playing quick play with the name “army.FOREVER.saranghae” yall do realise it costs 10$ to change ur blizzard username, right?

Some armys also don’t respect other kpop groups in older gens (or any other ones for that matter) and assume that bts broke through into the western world themselves, which is complete bullshit, without groups like bigbang, shinee, tvxq, shinhwa, h.o.t,  seo taiji boys etc etc (and other ones I don’t know of rip) kpop would have never gotten into the western world.

I never identified as an army bc I knew they were cringey bc of my friends who were HUGE armys back in 2016 and low-key koreaboos, and I knew what the bad stans looked like, so I never associated with them, and just called myself a bts stan. But the whole western situation just got so goddamn worse. I was sick of the Americans plaguing bts for me.

I also wanna say, I know not all armys are toxic and cringey. And I respect the level headed and chill Armys, yall are doing it right.

Moving on from Armys, I noticed a change in bts themselves. Namjoon changed his stage name, which absolutely sent me. I understand the meaning behind it but for some reason I felt that he did it to be fake deep? Or woke, and that he tried to completely cover-up his past self. The other members became cocky and were always draped in all that ugly Gucci and designer shit. I knew they were being forced to act the way they were acting, bc I know them well. I know how they really are. I know that they’re good people. I know they’re very humble deep down. They had that special connection with their fans before, that made u feel like u were good friends with them, and they absolutely ruined that. They’re being forced to put on this fake image to impress you filthy Americans.

I still stan bts atm. But I stan them for their old music and the people they truly are, not who they are portrayed to be. I can’t remember when euphoria came out, but I was kinda annoyed they tried to incorporate hyyh prologue into their shitty concept. And the song was also annoying and too edm-ish (like most of their new songs, idk why their style completely changed). Anyway, when tear came out, I was still kinda off the bandwagon, and I saw the concept pics and I was surprised at how nice they were. I saw the album cover, which was still ugly but better than the previous one. Then Singularity came out and!!!!! I loved it a lot. And then fake love happened. Oof is all I have to say. But some songs on the album, were actually good. Like the truth untold, paradise and OUTRO TEAR. Outro tear will remain the best song in the love yourself trilogy.

I also feel that I have to acknowledge that for all the love yourself albums only the intro and outro were genuinely up to standard (except outro answer).

Then came love yourself answer and idol. When I found out they were collabing with niki minaj I lost it. The concept pics were ugly once again, it was supposed to a controversial comeback???? And??? It wasn’t. I’m honestly glad it wasn’t promoted.

I noticed a repetitiveness with songs on answer. The beat was off with the singing. It was all just a mess. I also noticed the amount of godddamn auto tune in the songs (eg, mic drop, fake love, idol, airplane pt.2 and others I can’t remember atm) all of bts’s old songs all sound unique and different, and they all had this “emotional” element to them, to elaborate on that, compare dna, fake love or idol to save me, I need u or young forever. Notice how dna, fake love and idol convey absolutely no emotion through the lyrics or the actual beat of the song, unlike save me, I need u or young forever, that literally have more sentimental/emotional value in the few English lines that are in the song then all of the lyrics in their 3 new title tracks combined. I think this is my most difficult point to explain bc different songs make people feel different things, but it’s no doubt that you can tell the difference between a song that’s made to appeal to the masses with no unique properties to a song that coveys deep emotion (whatever the emotion may be) through the beat, the lyrics and the sound of the vocals/rapping alike. Listen to intro nevermind, and then listen to go go and just try to tell me that im wrong.

Alos, bts seem to have incorporated auto tune into songs, especially on their vocalists. bts don’t need the auto tune bc they’re good vocalists. Also, I have to mention, the vocal line isn’t the “best” per say. they’re good vocalists but it’s nothing special. Seokjin is the best vocalist period. Jungkook’s voice is generic, and in recent songs he has been straining it to reach the notes. Taehyungs voice isn’t even that special, it’s just deep, and it only really suits ballads and R&B songs like singularity or butterfly. Jimin has a very nice voice, but again, it’s nothing extraordinary. I feel that Jin has the most vocal potential, and he doesn’t get to show it, he has this really unique voice, idk what it is about it that just??? I really love it. But to clarify, I’m not hating on their voices or saying there untalented, because they’re very talented, but most of vocal line gets too much credit. As for rap line, I think they’re one of bts’s strongest points. Namjoons style is so smooth and just overall good? It amazes me that he rapped so well over the years with a breathing problem. Hoseok is a good rapper too, his sound is unique and his adlibs add to that uniqueness in older songs, as for Yoongi, I genuinely think he’s one of the best rappers in the industry, it’s not about the speed element, it’s about his flow, his power, his emotion, everything about his rap is just amazing.

Now I wanna talk about the member’s individual popularity. The maknae line has the most stans, and quite frankly, their stans are the worst. Treat all of the members with the same love and respect. Sure, it’s perfectly fine to have a bias but to disregard the other members is just plain wrong.

Bts are human beings, first and foremost, and then there musicians second. They’re being made into media puppets and clout bait, which they absolutely don’t deserve. They deserve recognition for their good stuff, which they have PLENTY of.

All in all, I’m sick of the American attention. It’s cringey, annoying and unnecessary. Sure, bts deserve recognition but not that much of it!!!!!!

And they were being recognised for the wrong thing for fucks sake!!!! I didn’t like ANY of the new songs on answer. I only liked epiphany. And then I found out it wasn’t written by any of the members. Rip. Fans will unfortunately blindly follow, stream and like whatever they put out like blind sheep because it’s accustomed to them, bighit KNOW that they’ll make more money in America. They know no matter what bts put out, no matter how shit it is, fans will like it and itll be revenue for the company. And all the mobile games and the bt21??? Was so unnecessary?? Capitalism amirite? Quantity over quality. It’s the sad truth.

Armys tend to mix up criticism and hate. Although there is a very thin line between the two, there is a difference. Criticism is the analysis and judgement of the merits and faults of something. Hate is blind and unjustified. Hate is disliking something for no reason, or for a very invalid reason. So for example, saying; “I don’t like this apple because its bitter and im not a huge fan of bitter things” is fine to say, unlike, “FUCK THIS APPLE BECAUSE ITS BITTER, FUCK ALL APPLES” you know? It’s okay to dislike a group. It’s NOT okay to hate on a group. No one’s is going to gain anything by hate.

So, all the youtubers are reacting to bts for clout, the fandom is a fucking mess, armys are attacking other fandoms for no reason, the members lost their TRUE humbleness and neglected their real personalities and they’ve put out 3 overall bad standard albums over the course of a whole ass year.

But I still have this spark of hope for them. Why? Because I love them, they have a special place in my heart. I know they have the potential to be amazing, unique and just overall good people with their own personalities, and truly special musical abilities.

After their tour I honestly, really hope the attention dies down and they put out another good, original, album like the hyyh albums, with nice concepts, good songs, and a pleasant to look at mv. It’s really all I ask for. The old bts. I know I’ll never get them back, and I absolutely cherish their old stuff, like the bulletproof logo, bangtan boys, rap monster, hyyh, young forever, no more dream, wings, them all goofing around together and not caring about their image, their wholesome interactions with fans, and all the songs and concepts and theories that never have, and never will be recognised.

On a final note, I realise I can’t blame bts themselves entirely for this. This stuff is only partially “their fault”. Its bighit’s fault, the army’s and haters fault and the media’s fault. But, America is to blame the most. That’s all for today.

R❤️

where do i begin?

these 3 months have been nothing but a rollercoaster ride.

but an amazing and thrilling one.

ive never described or talked about someone i loved on my blog becuz… all they do was hurt me .

i used to spent my night, drowning in my tears, praying to God to take the pain away. praying that i’ll find someone better. praying that i will be strong enough to let go of someone SO atrocious and toxic. getting treated as if i’m the worse person in the world. getting reminded of how regretful and dreadful it is to be with me. getting blamed for everything I do. getting used. there’s alot more of what i’ve been through.. but i don’t wanna get into the details.

my point is, after everything I have been through, i didnt expect myself to come across u, R. u were of course, not a perfect guy. u still make mistakes. but the way u kept to ur words…. got me shook bruhhh!!!! telling me u will change, and u are slowly making progress…. I have never met someone who is so loving, devoted, affectionate, patient….. oh god idk the right words to describe him , he is just so-so extraordinary. im such a complicated person and he still wants to handle me(which so many guys said the same thing and still fail to handle me so baby, dont fail me pls). no matter how bad our fight is, he doesnt want to give up on me, even if he say it, he will still come back, apologising to me and telling me how much he really wants to be with me and how much i mean to him. we started talking in April and dated a month after that haha. in these 3 months, whatever i want in someone, he showed it to me. someone who is just as obsessed as i am. the way he looks at me when im not looking . the way he admires my face. the way he smiles when im talking to him(idk if he paid attention). the way he holds my face and looks me into the eye and admires me. the way he holds my hand and kisses it randomly. the way he tells me he loves me . the way he describes how blessed he is to have me. the way he accepts me for my abhorrent past. no, we both accept each other no matter abhorrent our past is.

he is a gem, a truly an angel sent from God. sometimes i think to myself, how did i ever get so lucky to have met such a wonderful guy? that,i have to thank God for bringing him into my life.

I can be me when I am with you—I hope you feel the same way too. i cant wait to meet you again and spend time with you and admiring ur face, telling u how much i love you. i wanna share my favourite paragraph from my fav movie, Love, Rosie.

“You deserve someone who loves you with every single beat of his heart, someone who thinks about you constantly, someone who spends every minute of every day just wondering what you’re doing, where you are, who you’re with, and if you’re OK. You need someone who can help you reach your dreams and protect you from your fears. You need someone who will treat you with respect, love every part of you, especially your flaws. You should be with someone who could make you happy, really happy, dancing on air happy.”

this paragraph, got me thinking alot, everytime i read it. and i found him , i found you, R. u are everything that was said in the paragraph. i dont need to go to sleep sad every night anymore. i dont need to feel as if im not appreciated. i love you , R . i really hope things will go well for us because i really wanna work things out with you. i want you to be my last. i love you so much, i cant wait to talk to u once i wake up from my sleep because thats all i look forward to when i wake up .

goodnight everyone, i know this post is so boring. nothing fancy. im sorry , im not a write-y kinda person and my vocabs arent strong. i’ll try to work on them. for the meantime, i’ll keep posting about him becuz i feel so special with this guy.. i love him . thank u for wasting ur time, reading this stupid post.

im definitely so blessd to have you in my life, R ❤️

Answered Asks // 2

Under the cut~~~

Anonymous said to enaasteria: April 15th 2017, 9:14:00 pm · 6 months ago Ok, don't answer to this because I will not see it anyway. I was @jamlesspyo and I say was because when you'll see this my blog will already be deleted, personnal reasons. So I want to tell that you are one of the most amazing writer I had the chance to read a story of. You are also the sweetest person so thank you so much. I hope that one you will have enough confidence in yourself because you deserve it so much. Love you and stay healthy

I will answer this bc you might come back and I’ll def miss you. Thank you for all your warm encouragement and help throughout my struggles and I couldn’t have asked for a better reader/friend. Miss you and wishing you all the best!

Anonymous said to enaasteria: April 20th 2017, 10:59:00 pm · 6 months ago you might not read this for awhile and when you do you don't have to reply, but i just wanted to tell you that all of your writing here is beautiful and amazing! finishing your story is so worth waiting for and i can't wait to read the ending! thank you for sharing your writing!

You might not think this after you read chapter 16. It’s a kind of flargh chapter but needed to be in there so T_____T I’m kinda nervous about it but hopes everyone enjoys and feel it was worth the wait.

Anonymous said to enaasteria: April 23rd 2017, 1:14:00 am · 5 months ago Freaking heck, you are an amazing and professional writer!!! I'm reading through Apartment 5108 now and I can't think of words even close to satisfactory enough to compliment your writing!! All the best for your writing and future endeavours! :)

Ahhhhhh you are too kind to me. Thank you so much for reading and no worries. please don’t stress over what to write or compliments because I enjoy any kind of feedback tbh. Spazz messages are the best!

@sassyunicorns2​ said to enaasteria: May 11th 2017, 8:31:00 am · 5 months ago I won't lose hope! I know you can do it, because you are an amazing writter and you always have great ideas!!! I am here in the other part of the world cheering for you! 🙌 FIGHTING!! 💪👊 P.S.: I'm sorry for the errors.

I hope you enjoy this chapter and thank you so much for your continued support. It means so much to me and I’m so glad you love this story!

@whosexo​ said to enaasteria: May 11th 2017, 3:57:00 pm · 5 months ago SEND 💖 THIS 💖 TO 💖 THE 💖 FIFTEEN 💖 NICEST 💖 PEOPLE 💖 ON 💖 TUMBLR 💖 IF 💖 YOU 💖 GET 💖 5 💖 BACK 💖 YOU 💖 MUST 💖 BE 💖 PERFECT 💖 Miss you hope you're doing amazing!!

No words can amount to how much i love you too! I apologize for my year long disappearance. I’m a terrible person. UGH. But I shall blame it on work and daily stress. T___T Hope you are well too, love!

@dream-exo-fantasy said to enaasteria: May 11th 2017, 3:58:00 pm · 5 months ago SEND 💖 THIS 💖 TO 💖 THE 💖 FIFTEEN 💖 NICEST 💖 PEOPLE 💖 ON 💖 TUMBLR 💖 IF 💖 YOU 💖 GET 💖 5 💖 BACK 💖 YOU 💖 MUST 💖 BE 💖 PERFECT 💖 (A side message: I hope you're not stressing too much about writing. Take your time and stay healthy 💕)

You are the sweetest and thank you so much. 2017 was unfortunately the most stress filled year i’ve ever experienced but hopefully the latter end will treat us all better, yeah? T.T

Anonymous said to enaasteria: May 12th 2017, 1:46:00 am · 5 months ago wah yay! okay take your time! i (and many others) can't wait to see your masterpiece! 💕

Love you!

Anonymous said to enaasteria: May 20th 2017, 12:32:00 am · 5 months ago So I was wondering did ahri told sehun about what happened to her while sehun went after jiyul like she drank the juice and was taken to hospital or did sehun already knew or anyone told him bc I think you didn't mention that?..

Soi definitely told him---actually her wrath probably yelled at him and was infuriated with his poor actions. he probably got scolded by everyone tbh.

Anonymous said to enaasteria: May 29th 2017, 6:07:00 pm · 4 months ago Youre probably busy with apartment 5108 but i really hope you do come back to keepers! Chapter 1 left me on edge and im still eagerly waiting for the next part!! Much love sent your way❤️❤️❤️

I CANT WAIT FOR KEEPERS. I want to write it two ways but I might just do two endings bc I’m a sap and a total angst fest lol

Anonymous said to enaasteria: June 5th 2017, 8:41:00 pm · 4 months ago enaaaaaaa i miss yoooooouuuuuuuuu ):<

I MISS YOU TOOOOOOOOOOOO

@unsungthoughts said to enaasteria: June 5th 2017, 9:19:00 pm · 4 months ago Apartment 5108. I'm beyond in love w this story! I was so into the story to the point where I could literally feel everything, the emotion esp. It is truly an amazing piece of writing. I'm new here (since yesterday and just finished 5min ago) --cont.cont.-- and yet to explore ur other stories, which I will definitely do cz I LOVE YOUR WRITING SO MUCH 💕

You make me blush! I’m so happy you enjoyed this story and I’m glad it made you feel things. I hope 16 treats you well and that you’re having a great time on tumblr! welcome, welcome. AND I LOVE YOU TOO

Anonymous said to enaasteria: June 15th 2017, 11:47:00 pm · 4 months ago power through love! you got this! 👏🏽👏🏽

I was jamming to POWER as I wrote this chapter. Lord knows I needed the help. orz

Anonymous said to enaasteria: June 23rd 2017, 2:25:00 pm · 3 months ago this is kinda random but Charlie puth's Attention reminds me of Red 😅

Imma go listen to this and add it to the playlist! TY ANON!

Anonymous said to enaasteria: June 24th 2017, 11:31:00 pm · 3 months ago ena, i just wish you can fathom 1/16 of the greatness you've omitted onto the exo fandom. you're writing is absolute perfection. fandom writers are just not appreciated enough! you're art is just as important than the art exo creates. you are able to create a story and a character. just think about that. a person and their life. real or not, you've created a character all of us can relate to in one way or another. i hope you keep finding joy in what you do and never lose this passion. 🌺

I remember reading this message 3 months ago and it made me want to cry. Thank you so much for your kind words and thank you for appreciating fanfiction as an art form. I think this writing is such a lost art and people don’t appreciate the time and effort going into a story. But reading this made it so worth it and thank you so much for your kindness!

Anonymous said to enaasteria: July 7th 2017, 7:22:00 am · 3 months ago Omg i just followed you now bcs of apartment 5108 and others too. Geez why i havent discovered you then?! Seriously for me its really hard to find fanfic that matches with my reading style gosh its pretty damn well written and you succesfully made me feel like im the character. You mess my feeling hun'. You did it. Seriously youre one of the best writer i ever known in tumblr. Im looking forward to ch 16 and others too. I hope u doing well!!!! Lots of love from your lovely reader💛

Thank you so much for your kind words! It’s such a huge compliment to see you hold my writing to such a high regard and I hope this next chapter doesn’t disappoint. I’m so glad you like it and please let me know what you think of the rest of the chaps!

Anonymous said to enaasteria: July 7th 2017, 12:45:00 pm · 3 months ago I've been following you for about a year now and DAMN HOW I LOVE YOU. Its been a year since you last updated Apartment 5108 but you still log in to check on your fans. Writers block is an ass but all you need is some inspiration and then you'll be firing away with the Seahri feels. or Ahrun feels. However you decide to ship them. Also Chanyeol is my fav and the fic you wrote called Two killsss meee. THANK YOU! Also, I'm Egyptian. Pretty cool knowing you have international readers eh?

I’m so sorry you’ve had to wait so long for a chapter!!! It’s so amazing how there are international people reading this and I can’t thank you enough for your kindness and also for sending me this comment but ALSO SEAHRI. LIKE THIS KILLS ME AND ITS SO CUTE AND ADORABLE.

Anonymous said to enaasteria: July 7th 2017, 1:56:00 pm · 3 months ago Hey Ena! Just wanted to tell you that I literally open your page every single day (its been 3 months LOL) , just to check if there's any update for apt5108, no rush but that just show how much i adore your work, i just freakin' love your story! I never felt so desperate waiting for the next chapter.. but I believe good things take a long time, and I believe your work could be one of the good things, even better the best thing!! Love, Your biggest fan💕

IM SO SORRY FOR THE WAIT. I don’t know what to say other than this year has been a mess and a true struggle but I dearly wanted to write this chapter and forced myself to do it and post today. I’m so sorry if it wasn’t worth the wait but hopefully it’s a good continuation to their story T____T

@sehun---addict said to enaasteria: July 20th 2017, 10:07:00 pm · 3 months ago Personally i would rather wait until you finish the story and post it in one go bcs waiting game for each chap is pure torture . Much love♡

I wish I could’ve posted it all but 16 nearly killed me to just finish so I hope this is a good chapter to hold you off until 17 T___T

Anonymous said to enaasteria: July 20th 2017, 10:14:00 pm · 3 months ago In reference to your tag in the previous ask- I think posting the chapters as you finish them would be preferable for me. That way I wouldn't have to wait as long for another update? But I'm wondering if writing it all and posting it generally at one point would be easier on you, so that it could kind of be one and done. Either way, I appreciate you taking the time to write this story! You are so incredibly talented and I find it so kind that you take time out of your day to write.

16 is going up soon. I hope you enjoy it and I’m so sorry for the wait. Thank you for your patience and I hope you read with low expectations because I’m a bit nervous about this chapter. It’s excruciatingly long T.T

Anonymous said to enaasteria: July 20th 2017, 11:46:00 pm · 3 months ago please post 16 when it's finished! that way we can have a new chapter at a time to enjoy!

It’s going up!

Anonymous said to enaasteria: July 23rd 2017, 4:47:00 am · 2 months ago I know I'm late but about the end of appartment 5018 I'm really curious about Polaris. Will it be build ? Will it be insignifiant ? I really like it so yeah that's what I'm most curious about :)

This will be addressed in 17! :D

Anonymous said to enaasteria: August 2nd 2017, 9:53:00 pm · 2 months ago same anon who recommended moondust~~ i have another one for you ena ^^ it's the house we never built by gabrielle alpine <3 best of luck on the story!

Imma check this out after I answer these messages and add it to my playlist! Thank you so much!

@yoruu-gen said to enaasteria: August 21st 2017, 1:01:00 pm · a month ago Happy Fanfic Writers Appreciation Day to my most favorite fanfic author in existence ❤ Apt 5108 is by far the best thing I've read on this website and I look forward to continue stalking your Google Docs 👀 I'm so thankful that you pulled me out of the writer's block abyss and I hope I won't disappoint in the future lol. Thanks for always being such a great friend and for always dying with me about our biases 😅 Love u lots~~

YOUUUUUU. I LOVE YOU. I also thank you so much for helping me with this chapter. You are such an inspiration and I know you feel like you’re not that great of a writer but honestly---you are one of the two I really, truly, look up to on this platform. I always enjoy your words, your stories, YOUR STRUGGLES with your biases but also so thankful for your friendship. 

Anonymous said to enaasteria: August 26th 2017, 9:36:00 am · a month ago Red is my favorite fic and it impacted me so much in a way i can only be thankful. Getting away of a one-side love relationship was really a big choice i should have made before but it's really scary to do so. Reading Red helped me aknowledge what i was doing to myself after denying it for too long and i finally decided to take care of myself for once. So i'm thankful because your amazing way of using words helped me realize i should do what's better for me and no one else. Take care of yourself

Red is honestly one of my favorites too. It was so easy to write (compared to apt) hahaha and although Sehun wasn’t a good character in it, I enjoyed the progression of how real the characters were? Like---this happens in real life and not all things end happily with rainbows and butterflies. It is a struggle to see a person go through something like this but it’s also a testament to their character and their willpower to walk away from it and say when they’ve had enough. I hope you’re doing well, anon.

Being Alone, Animals, and Apparently: EASY TO HANDLE AFFECTIONATE FRIENDLY MR. BLUE THE SWEETEST BOY! #57170 NEUTERED 1 YEAR OLD 53 LBS WAITING TO BE YOUR ONE AND ONLY eBROOKLYN ACC TO BE KILLED 5/30/2019 DUMPED AT THE SHELTER WITH WOUNDS AROUND HIS NECK!! Poor Mr. Blue did not start his life with the best of owners! Evidence of trauma seen: YES Evidence of cruelty seen: YES He arrived at the shelters with wounds around his neck due to the improper use of a choke or prong collar. Yet he is THE NICEST SWEETEST BOY - At intake - Soliciting pets and affection, relaxed body language, wagging tail. Allowed all handling. Additional notes rave just how sweet he is! Easily handleable. Did well for all medical handling and procedures. Dumped because he did not get along with his family’s cat, Mr Blue would likely do best as your one and only! So Please help this SWEETHEART find the forever family that he so deserves! SHARE pledge FOSTER adopt and #SAVEMRBLUE now! Mr. Blue #57170 Neutered male gray dog @ Brooklyn Animal Care Center About 1 years old Weight 53 lbs Owner surrender on 19-May-2019, with the surrender reason stated as animal behavior - not good with resident animals. Sorry, this pet is for new hope partners only. Mr. Blue was placed at risk due to behavioral concerns; While Mr. Blue remains highly social when interacting with handlers, he remains challenging to manage in the care center as his reactivity passing other dogs appears intense at this time, likely exacerbated due to the shelter environment though we cannot be certain whether this may appear outside of the care center. Mr. Blue was observed to escalate to redirecting and a biting a handler, no skin was broken. We feel Mr. Blue would be best set up to succeed if placed with an experienced rescue partner at this time. Mr. Blue is otherwise healthy. http://bit.ly/2EEnIwS My medical notes are... Weight: 53 lbs Vet Notes Post Surgery Note Medical Assistant 15/03/2019 DVM Intake Estimated age: 1 year Microchip noted on Intake? No Microchip Number (If Applicable): History: Stray Subjective: BARH, no coughing/sneezing/vomiting/diarrhea Observed behavior: Soliciting pets and affection, relaxed body language, wagging tail. Allowed all handling. Evidence of cruelty seen: Yes, possible collar marks Evidence of trauma seen: Yes, possible collar marks Objective: P: WNL R: WNL BCS: 5/9 OP: Mucous membranes pink and moist. CRT <2. No calculus/gingivitis. EENT: Eyes, ears, and nares clear bilaterally, no discharge noted. PLN: Small/soft/symmetrical/nonpainful CV: No murmurs or arrhythmias, pulses strong and synchronous. RESP: Eupneic, no crackles/wheezes GI: Soft, nonpainful, no palpable masses. UG: Male intact, two descended testicles, no discharge INT: Multifocal superficial 1-3 cm abrasions around neck in the area of the collar, no discharge or swelling. Good hair coat, no areas of alopecia or pruritus, no ectoparasites or masses noted. MS: Ambulatory x4, no pain on palpation of epaxials NEURO: Mentation appropriate, cranial nerves intact, no deficits noted. Assessment: -Wounds (likely rope burns or abrasions from tight/choker collar, healing well) Prognosis: Good Plan: -Neuter Surgery: Okay for surgery 18/03/2019 Hx: 3/15 Intake, diagnosed with wounds (likely collar/choker related) that are healing well 3/18 had a request to check for vomiting SO: BAR, good appetite, no noted elimination, good energy level, soliciting attention No csvd noted no d/c present EENT: Eyes clear, no head shake or ear scratching noted Lungs: eupneic, good rr/re MSI: clean and shiny coat, ambulatory, no obvious bleed or wounds, neck appears clean and dry, no discharge, odor or swelling No presence of vomitus noted in the kennel Male intact A: wound - seemingly improving otherwise healthy P: CTM at BACC OK for Glendale 19/05/2019 DVM Intake Exam Estimated age: ~1 year Microchip noted on Intake? positive 985113002487744 History : return. Previously here 3/19/19-wound from collar. 3/19-neutered Subjective: BARH Observed Behavior - very sweet. Easily handleable. Did well for all medical handling and procedures. Evidence of Cruelty seen - no Evidence of Trauma seen - no Objective P = wnl R = eupneic BCS 5/9 EENT: Eyes clear, ears clean, no nasal discharge noted Oral Exam: clean adult dentition, no oral lesions noted PLN: No enlargements noted H/L: NSR, NMA, CRT < 2, Lungs clear, eupneic ABD: Non painful, no masses palpated U/G: MN MSI: Ambulatory x 4, skin free of parasites, no masses noted, healthy hair coat CNS: mentation appropriate - no signs of neurologic abnormalities Assessment: Apparently healthy Plan: Continue to monitor while at BACC Prognosis: Excellent SURGERY: neutered Post Surgery Note Medical Assistant 19/03/2019 Pre-surgical exam, anesthesia, and surgery performed by ASPCA. Green linear tattoo placed on ventral abdomen. Medical Assistant 20/03/2019 Dispensed Carprofen 100mg - 1 tablet PO SID x 1 more day to Adoptions on 3/20/19. -1456- Details on my behavior are... Behavior Condition: 1. Green Behavior History Behavior Assessment Mr. Blue had a loose body and wiggly tail when staff approached him. He allowed to be scanned, collared and did jump up on the counselor's lap and chest as he was pet. He was listening to sit and allowed staff to give him multiple treats. Date of Intake: 3/15/2019 Basic Information:: Mr. Blue is a gray and white male dog that was brought to the center due to not getting along with cats. He has been to the vet in April and apparent health concerns. Previously lived with:: 4adults, 1 cat How is this dog around strangers?: Mr. Blue is friendly around strangers and will stiff them and even allow them to pet him. How is this dog around children?: Mr. Blue has not been around children so behavior is unknown. How is this dog around other dogs?: Mr. Blue has been around both small and large dogs but he will growl at them and does get tense around them. How is this dog around cats?: Mr. Blue has lived with a cat in the home but he will become focused on the cat and try to chase the cat as well. He will not growl but will bark at cats. Resource guarding:: Mr. Blue does not resource guard. Bite history:: No bite history. Housetrained:: Yes Other Notes:: Mr. Blue is taken out to use the bathroom around 6:30 and then eats about a hour later. and follows that schedule every 2/3 hours. Has this dog ever had any medical issues?: No Medical Notes: No medical notes. For a New Family to Know: Mr.Blue is a friendly dog who likes to eat his dry food, specificly Blue buffalo. He does like wet food as well. He enjoys playing with all sorts of toys like kongs and rope just to name a few. He also follows you around when your home and is also albe to stay home alone even in a crate. He is crate trained and does well for about 2-3 hours. He often times sleeps where ever or even in his crate. He enjoys baths and sits like a good boy! He does like to be brushed but has nevr had his nails trimmed. He only knows the command sit but is able to learn a whole lot more. Behavior Assessment Date of intake:: 5/19/2019 Spay/Neuter status:: Yes Means of surrender (length of time in previous home):: Owner surrender Previously lived with:: 4 adults, 1 cat Behavior toward strangers:: Friendly Behavior toward children:: Unknown Behavior toward dogs:: Growls, becomes tense around larger and smaller dogs Behavior toward cats:: Chases, barks at resident cat Resource guarding:: None reported Bite history:: None reported Housetrained:: Yes Energy level/descriptors:: Friendly Other Notes:: 3/15/2019, Stray with no known history, 1st stay in the care center Date of assessment:: 5/20/2019 Summary:: Leash Walking Strength and pulling: Moderate to hard Reactivity to humans: None Reactivity to dogs: Hard barking, growling, lunging Leash walking comments: Sociability Loose in room (15-20 seconds): Highly social Call over: Approaches readily Sociability comments: Handling Soft handling: Seeks contact, leans into pets Exuberant handling: Seeks contact, leans into pets Handling comments: Arousal Jog: Follows, engages in exuberant play, readily settles Arousal comments: Knock Knock Comments: No response Toy Toy comments: Snaps upon approach Summary:: According to Mr. Blue's previous owner, he has been around both small and large dogs but he will growl at them and does get tense around them. 5/20: Mr. Blue enters the play yard screeching and pulling hard on the leash upon seeing a novel female dog. He is collared and walked into the pen with a handler. Mr. Blue saw the novel female, charged at the gate, began to jump on the gate while baring his teeth and snarling. The gate is not opened due to his behavior and an off-leash interaction is not conducted. Mr. Blue was surrendered as a stray, so his past behavior around other dogs is unknown. 3/17: Mr. Blue enters the play yard screeching and pulling hard on the leash upon seeing a novel female dog. He is collared and walked into the pen with a handler. Mr. Blue saw the novel female, charged at the gate, began to jump on the gate while baring his teeth and snarling. The gate is not opened due to his behavior and an off-leash interaction is not conducted. Date of intake:: 5/19/2019 Summary:: Loose bodied, wiggly, attention seeking Date of initial:: 5/19/2019 Summary:: Sweet, allowed all handling ENERGY LEVEL:: Mr. Blue displays a high level of energy in the care center, we recommend daily mental and physical stimulation as a way to direct his energy and enthusiasm. IN SHELTER OBSERVATIONS:: 5/23: Mr. Blue was pulling hard on leash as a handler kept him on a short lead through the hallway to return him to his kennel due to his reactive behavior. Another handler checked that other dogs were not in sight, but Mr. Blue became frustrated and redirected biting and releasing the handler’s stomach then began to thrash. She loosened the rope and he stopped. He did not break skin but left three red scratches. 5/22: During his morning walk, Mr. Blue became reactive towards the other dogs in the shelter. When the handler continued to walk to increase the distances between Mr. Blue and the other dogs, Mr. Blue redirected his frustration onto him; biting and releasing. He did not break skin. BEHAVIOR DETERMINATION:: New Hope Only Behavior Asilomar: TM - Treatable-Manageable Recommendations:: No children (under 13),No cats,Single-pet home,Recommend no dog parks,Place with a New Hope partner Recommendations comments:: No children: Due to the observed resource guarding in the care center, we feel Mr. Blue would be best set up to succeed in an adult only home environment. Single-pet home/recommend no dog parks: Due to the concerning behaviors that Mr. Blue has shown during playgroup (see DOG-DOG SUMMARY), we feel that Mr. Blue should not visit dog parks and be the only resident dog. The Behavior Department recommends that he be socialized in a more controlled setting until his behavior towards other dogs can be further addressed. Reward-based, force-free training can be utilized to help Mr. Blue associate dogs with things he enjoys like toys or treats. No cats: In his previous home environment, Mr. Blue is reported to have not done well with the resident cat in the home. He would bark at and chase the cat. We advise against placing Mr. Blue into a home with cats or any other smaller animals at this time. Place with a New Hope partner: While Mr. Blue remains highly social when interacting with handlers, he remains challenging to manage in the care center as his reactivity passing other dogs appears intense at this time, likely exacerbated due to the shelter environment though we cannot be certain whether this may appear outside of the care center. Mr. Blue was observed to escalate to redirecting and a biting a handler, no skin was broken. We feel Mr. Blue would be best set up to succeed if placed with an experienced rescue partner at this time; force-free, reward based training only is advised when introducing or exposing Mr. Blue to new and unfamiliar situations. Potential challenges: : Resource guarding,On-leash reactivity/barrier frustration Potential challenges comments:: Mr. Blue was observed to snap upon approach while engaged with a toy item in the care center, please see handout on Resource guarding. Mr. Blue has been observed to lunge, growl and hard bark at passing dogs during walks, please see handout on Leash reactivity.

Being Alone, Animals, and Apparently: EASY TO HANDLE AFFECTIONATE FRIENDLY MR. BLUE THE SWEETEST BOY! #57170 NEUTERED 1 YEAR OLD 53 LBS WAITING TO BE YOUR ONE AND ONLY eBROOKLYN ACC TO BE KILLED 5/30/2019 DUMPED AT THE SHELTER WITH WOUNDS AROUND HIS NECK!! Poor Mr. Blue did not start his life with the best of owners! Evidence of trauma seen: YES Evidence of cruelty seen: YES He arrived at the shelters with wounds around his neck due to the improper use of a choke or prong collar. Yet he is THE NICEST SWEETEST BOY - At intake - Soliciting pets and affection, relaxed body language, wagging tail. Allowed all handling. Additional notes rave just how sweet he is! Easily handleable. Did well for all medical handling and procedures. Dumped because he did not get along with his family’s cat, Mr Blue would likely do best as your one and only! So Please help this SWEETHEART find the forever family that he so deserves! SHARE pledge FOSTER adopt and #SAVEMRBLUE now! Mr. Blue #57170 Neutered male gray dog @ Brooklyn Animal Care Center About 1 years old Weight 53 lbs Owner surrender on 19-May-2019, with the surrender reason stated as animal behavior - not good with resident animals. Sorry, this pet is for new hope partners only. Mr. Blue was placed at risk due to behavioral concerns; While Mr. Blue remains highly social when interacting with handlers, he remains challenging to manage in the care center as his reactivity passing other dogs appears intense at this time, likely exacerbated due to the shelter environment though we cannot be certain whether this may appear outside of the care center. Mr. Blue was observed to escalate to redirecting and a biting a handler, no skin was broken. We feel Mr. Blue would be best set up to succeed if placed with an experienced rescue partner at this time. Mr. Blue is otherwise healthy. http://bit.ly/2EEnIwS My medical notes are... Weight: 53 lbs Vet Notes Post Surgery Note Medical Assistant 15/03/2019 DVM Intake Estimated age: 1 year Microchip noted on Intake? No Microchip Number (If Applicable): History: Stray Subjective: BARH, no coughing/sneezing/vomiting/diarrhea Observed behavior: Soliciting pets and affection, relaxed body language, wagging tail. Allowed all handling. Evidence of cruelty seen: Yes, possible collar marks Evidence of trauma seen: Yes, possible collar marks Objective: P: WNL R: WNL BCS: 5/9 OP: Mucous membranes pink and moist. CRT <2. No calculus/gingivitis. EENT: Eyes, ears, and nares clear bilaterally, no discharge noted. PLN: Small/soft/symmetrical/nonpainful CV: No murmurs or arrhythmias, pulses strong and synchronous. RESP: Eupneic, no crackles/wheezes GI: Soft, nonpainful, no palpable masses. UG: Male intact, two descended testicles, no discharge INT: Multifocal superficial 1-3 cm abrasions around neck in the area of the collar, no discharge or swelling. Good hair coat, no areas of alopecia or pruritus, no ectoparasites or masses noted. MS: Ambulatory x4, no pain on palpation of epaxials NEURO: Mentation appropriate, cranial nerves intact, no deficits noted. Assessment: -Wounds (likely rope burns or abrasions from tight/choker collar, healing well) Prognosis: Good Plan: -Neuter Surgery: Okay for surgery 18/03/2019 Hx: 3/15 Intake, diagnosed with wounds (likely collar/choker related) that are healing well 3/18 had a request to check for vomiting SO: BAR, good appetite, no noted elimination, good energy level, soliciting attention No csvd noted no d/c present EENT: Eyes clear, no head shake or ear scratching noted Lungs: eupneic, good rr/re MSI: clean and shiny coat, ambulatory, no obvious bleed or wounds, neck appears clean and dry, no discharge, odor or swelling No presence of vomitus noted in the kennel Male intact A: wound - seemingly improving otherwise healthy P: CTM at BACC OK for Glendale 19/05/2019 DVM Intake Exam Estimated age: ~1 year Microchip noted on Intake? positive 985113002487744 History : return. Previously here 3/19/19-wound from collar. 3/19-neutered Subjective: BARH Observed Behavior - very sweet. Easily handleable. Did well for all medical handling and procedures. Evidence of Cruelty seen - no Evidence of Trauma seen - no Objective P = wnl R = eupneic BCS 5/9 EENT: Eyes clear, ears clean, no nasal discharge noted Oral Exam: clean adult dentition, no oral lesions noted PLN: No enlargements noted H/L: NSR, NMA, CRT < 2, Lungs clear, eupneic ABD: Non painful, no masses palpated U/G: MN MSI: Ambulatory x 4, skin free of parasites, no masses noted, healthy hair coat CNS: mentation appropriate - no signs of neurologic abnormalities Assessment: Apparently healthy Plan: Continue to monitor while at BACC Prognosis: Excellent SURGERY: neutered Post Surgery Note Medical Assistant 19/03/2019 Pre-surgical exam, anesthesia, and surgery performed by ASPCA. Green linear tattoo placed on ventral abdomen. Medical Assistant 20/03/2019 Dispensed Carprofen 100mg - 1 tablet PO SID x 1 more day to Adoptions on 3/20/19. -1456- Details on my behavior are... Behavior Condition: 1. Green Behavior History Behavior Assessment Mr. Blue had a loose body and wiggly tail when staff approached him. He allowed to be scanned, collared and did jump up on the counselor's lap and chest as he was pet. He was listening to sit and allowed staff to give him multiple treats. Date of Intake: 3/15/2019 Basic Information:: Mr. Blue is a gray and white male dog that was brought to the center due to not getting along with cats. He has been to the vet in April and apparent health concerns. Previously lived with:: 4adults, 1 cat How is this dog around strangers?: Mr. Blue is friendly around strangers and will stiff them and even allow them to pet him. How is this dog around children?: Mr. Blue has not been around children so behavior is unknown. How is this dog around other dogs?: Mr. Blue has been around both small and large dogs but he will growl at them and does get tense around them. How is this dog around cats?: Mr. Blue has lived with a cat in the home but he will become focused on the cat and try to chase the cat as well. He will not growl but will bark at cats. Resource guarding:: Mr. Blue does not resource guard. Bite history:: No bite history. Housetrained:: Yes Other Notes:: Mr. Blue is taken out to use the bathroom around 6:30 and then eats about a hour later. and follows that schedule every 2/3 hours. Has this dog ever had any medical issues?: No Medical Notes: No medical notes. For a New Family to Know: Mr.Blue is a friendly dog who likes to eat his dry food, specificly Blue buffalo. He does like wet food as well. He enjoys playing with all sorts of toys like kongs and rope just to name a few. He also follows you around when your home and is also albe to stay home alone even in a crate. He is crate trained and does well for about 2-3 hours. He often times sleeps where ever or even in his crate. He enjoys baths and sits like a good boy! He does like to be brushed but has nevr had his nails trimmed. He only knows the command sit but is able to learn a whole lot more. Behavior Assessment Date of intake:: 5/19/2019 Spay/Neuter status:: Yes Means of surrender (length of time in previous home):: Owner surrender Previously lived with:: 4 adults, 1 cat Behavior toward strangers:: Friendly Behavior toward children:: Unknown Behavior toward dogs:: Growls, becomes tense around larger and smaller dogs Behavior toward cats:: Chases, barks at resident cat Resource guarding:: None reported Bite history:: None reported Housetrained:: Yes Energy level/descriptors:: Friendly Other Notes:: 3/15/2019, Stray with no known history, 1st stay in the care center Date of assessment:: 5/20/2019 Summary:: Leash Walking Strength and pulling: Moderate to hard Reactivity to humans: None Reactivity to dogs: Hard barking, growling, lunging Leash walking comments: Sociability Loose in room (15-20 seconds): Highly social Call over: Approaches readily Sociability comments: Handling Soft handling: Seeks contact, leans into pets Exuberant handling: Seeks contact, leans into pets Handling comments: Arousal Jog: Follows, engages in exuberant play, readily settles Arousal comments: Knock Knock Comments: No response Toy Toy comments: Snaps upon approach Summary:: According to Mr. Blue's previous owner, he has been around both small and large dogs but he will growl at them and does get tense around them. 5/20: Mr. Blue enters the play yard screeching and pulling hard on the leash upon seeing a novel female dog. He is collared and walked into the pen with a handler. Mr. Blue saw the novel female, charged at the gate, began to jump on the gate while baring his teeth and snarling. The gate is not opened due to his behavior and an off-leash interaction is not conducted. Mr. Blue was surrendered as a stray, so his past behavior around other dogs is unknown. 3/17: Mr. Blue enters the play yard screeching and pulling hard on the leash upon seeing a novel female dog. He is collared and walked into the pen with a handler. Mr. Blue saw the novel female, charged at the gate, began to jump on the gate while baring his teeth and snarling. The gate is not opened due to his behavior and an off-leash interaction is not conducted. Date of intake:: 5/19/2019 Summary:: Loose bodied, wiggly, attention seeking Date of initial:: 5/19/2019 Summary:: Sweet, allowed all handling ENERGY LEVEL:: Mr. Blue displays a high level of energy in the care center, we recommend daily mental and physical stimulation as a way to direct his energy and enthusiasm. IN SHELTER OBSERVATIONS:: 5/23: Mr. Blue was pulling hard on leash as a handler kept him on a short lead through the hallway to return him to his kennel due to his reactive behavior. Another handler checked that other dogs were not in sight, but Mr. Blue became frustrated and redirected biting and releasing the handler’s stomach then began to thrash. She loosened the rope and he stopped. He did not break skin but left three red scratches. 5/22: During his morning walk, Mr. Blue became reactive towards the other dogs in the shelter. When the handler continued to walk to increase the distances between Mr. Blue and the other dogs, Mr. Blue redirected his frustration onto him; biting and releasing. He did not break skin. BEHAVIOR DETERMINATION:: New Hope Only Behavior Asilomar: TM - Treatable-Manageable Recommendations:: No children (under 13),No cats,Single-pet home,Recommend no dog parks,Place with a New Hope partner Recommendations comments:: No children: Due to the observed resource guarding in the care center, we feel Mr. Blue would be best set up to succeed in an adult only home environment. Single-pet home/recommend no dog parks: Due to the concerning behaviors that Mr. Blue has shown during playgroup (see DOG-DOG SUMMARY), we feel that Mr. Blue should not visit dog parks and be the only resident dog. The Behavior Department recommends that he be socialized in a more controlled setting until his behavior towards other dogs can be further addressed. Reward-based, force-free training can be utilized to help Mr. Blue associate dogs with things he enjoys like toys or treats. No cats: In his previous home environment, Mr. Blue is reported to have not done well with the resident cat in the home. He would bark at and chase the cat. We advise against placing Mr. Blue into a home with cats or any other smaller animals at this time. Place with a New Hope partner: While Mr. Blue remains highly social when interacting with handlers, he remains challenging to manage in the care center as his reactivity passing other dogs appears intense at this time, likely exacerbated due to the shelter environment though we cannot be certain whether this may appear outside of the care center. Mr. Blue was observed to escalate to redirecting and a biting a handler, no skin was broken. We feel Mr. Blue would be best set up to succeed if placed with an experienced rescue partner at this time; force-free, reward based training only is advised when introducing or exposing Mr. Blue to new and unfamiliar situations. Potential challenges: : Resource guarding,On-leash reactivity/barrier frustration Potential challenges comments:: Mr. Blue was observed to snap upon approach while engaged with a toy item in the care center, please see handout on Resource guarding. Mr. Blue has been observed to lunge, growl and hard bark at passing dogs during walks, please see handout on Leash reactivity. *** TO FOSTER OR ADOPT *** If you would like to adopt a NYC ACC dog, and can get to the shelter in person to complete the adoption process, you can contact the shelter directly. We have provided the Brooklyn, Staten Island and Manhattan information below. Adoption hours at these facilities is Noon – 8:00 p.m. (6:30 on weekends) If you CANNOT get to the shelter in person and you want to FOSTER OR ADOPT a NYC ACC Dog, you can PRIVATE MESSAGE our Must Love Dogs page for assistance. PLEASE NOTE: You MUST live in NY, NJ, PA, CT, RI, DE, MD, MA, NH, VT, ME or Northern VA. You will need to fill out applications with a New Hope Rescue Partner to foster or adopt a NYC ACC dog. Transport is available if you live within the prescribed range of states. Shelter contact information: Phone number (212) 788-4000 Email [email protected] Shelter Addresses: Brooklyn Shelter: 2336 Linden Boulevard Brooklyn, NY 11208 Manhattan Shelter: 326 East 110 St. New York, NY 10029 Staten Island Shelter: 3139 Veterans Road West Staten Island, NY 10309 *** NEW NYC ACC RATING SYSTEM *** Level 1 Dogs with Level 1 determinations are suitable for the majority of homes. These dogs are not displaying concerning behaviors in shelter, and the owner surrender profile (where available) is positive. Some dogs with Level 1 determinations may still have potential challenges, but these are challenges that the behavior team believe can be handled by the majority of adopters. The potential challenges could include no young children, prefers to be the only dog, no dog parks, no cats, kennel presence, basic manners, low level fear and mild anxiety. Level 2 Dogs with Level 2 determinations will be suitable for adopters with some previous dog experience. They will have displayed behavior in the shelter (or have owner reported behavior) that requires some training, or is simply not suitable for an adopter with minimal experience. Dogs with a Level 2 determination may have multiple potential challenges and these may be presenting at differing levels of intensity, so careful consideration of the behavior notes will be required for counselling. Potential challenges at Level 2 include no young children, single pet home, resource guarding, on-leash reactivity, mouthiness, fear with potential for escalation, impulse control/arousal, anxiety and separation anxiety. Level 3 Dogs with Level 3 determinations will need to go to homes with experienced adopters, and the ACC strongly suggest that the adopter have prior experience with the challenges described and/or an understanding of the challenge and how to manage it safely in a home environment. In many cases, a trainer will be needed to manage and work on the behaviors safely in a home environment. It is likely that every dog with a Level 3 determination will have a behavior modification or training plan available to them from the behavior department that will go home with the adopters and be made available to the New Hope Partners for their fosters and adopters. Some of the challenges seen at Level 3 are also seen at Level 1 and Level 2, but when seen alongside a Level 3 determination can be assumed to be more severe. The potential challenges for Level 3 determinations include adult only home (no children under the age of 13), single pet home, resource guarding, on-leash reactivity with potential for redirection, mouthiness with pressure, potential escalation to threatening behavior, impulse control, arousal, anxiety, separation anxiety, bite history (human), bite history (dog) and bite history (other). New Hope Rescue Only Dog is not publicly adoptable. Prospective fosters or adopters need to fill out applications with New Hope Partner Rescues to save this dog.