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xcrystalzero · 3 years

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to understand you

pairing: xiao x gn!reader

summary: as far as you know, xiao hates humans. so why is he offering to come to liyue harbor with you?

note: listen to this, then read plz! warning, these are leaks so don't listen to it or read this fic if you don't want to be spoiled for coming content!

"If you have free time, we can go to Liyue Harbor together."

Never in your life did you think that you would hear those words coming from Xiao. He had been warming up to you in the months that had passed since you had met, enough so that he would actually stick around after the missions you went on together for lunch or just to rest instead of immediately disappearing as he had in the past. He even talked to you now, about things that weren't conquering demons or karmic debt!

Baby steps, you had thought, just happy to able to share his company for some time. So this was a bit out of left field. Of course, that didn't mean that you would treat such a suggestion lightly! The light dusting of pink on his cheeks and the way he wouldn't meet your gaze told you that it must have taken a lot of mustered courage for him to bring this up himself. If you refused him here, you doubted he would ever open himself to you again.

Not that you had plans to refuse him in the first place. No sane person would.

And now, the two of you stood at the edge of one of the many bridges leading into the harbor, you felt a strange giddiness come over you. Xiao was coming with you to Liyue Harbor, he was here because of you!

"So... you're doing this for me?" you had asked.

"Yes, to understand you."

If only he knew exactly how much of an effect those words had had on you.

When you glanced over at the adeptus however, you had to stiffle a giggle. Xiao was standing up stiff as a board, his eyes darting between the people meandering through the pavilion in the distance with a sort of nervous worry. As a man crossed the bridge across from the two of you, Xiao all but leapt out of his way, standing as close to the railing as you were sure was physically possible.

"Are you alright?" you asked, trying to keep the amusement out of your voice, though judging by the glint of annoyance in Xiao's gaze, you hadn't been particularly successful.

"There's... a lot more people than I thought there would be..." he muttered, eyes downcast now as though not looking at said people might somehow make them disappear.

At that, you audibly laughed, drawing the adeptus' gaze back up to you. "Well, it is a harbor! Don't worry, I doubt you'll get recognized or anything like that!"

"That's not what I'm worried about..." For a man pretending to be so cold, his eyes certainly were expressive. Was that, guilt?

"Xiao... you know that you're not going to hurt anyone just by being here right?"

Bingo. Xiao flinched slightly. "... you don't understand my debt... It is supposed to be my burden to handle and yet, with all these people here..."

A soft smile made its way onto your face as you slowly reached out, wrapping your fingers lightly around Xiao's wrist. His initial reaction was to try to pull away immediately, though when your grip remained even then, he relaxed slightly. "Xiao, you're not going to hurt these people. Think of it this way! If the one in a million happens and things do go south, I'm here to take care of things right?"

Xiao was silent and for a moment, you were sure that he was about to drop all of this and make his way immediately back to Wangshu Inn.

"... alright, I trust you."

Oh. You hoped the grin that had spread over your face covered the way your cheeks and ears were heating up like a furnace. "Alright then, let's go!" With the hand still around his wrist, you gently tugged him forward, pulling the two of you across the bridge and into Liyue Harbor.

~~~

As much as you wanted Xiao to try out Liyue Cuisine, you were a bit worried. After all, the only thing you had seen the adeptus eat was Almond Tofu, a steep departure from the spicy seafood cuisine that was served in Liyue Harbor. You brought the issue up to Xiao and his reply was a bit unexpected

"I said I wanted to learn about your world didn't I? If this is the food you are always speaking about, then I must too experience it to be able to relate to you."

As it turned out, you were correct in being worried because for all his strength as a Yaksha, Xiao had the worst spice tolerance you had ever seen. All it took was a single bite of Xiangling's signature Wanmin Restaurant Boiled Fish and he was coughing his lungs out. Were those... tears in the corner of his eyes?

"I'm so sorry Xiao, I had no idea it would be like this!" you sputtered, waving down the nearest waiter with urgency. "Could we please get a plate of Almond Tofu! And some more water!"

"I'm fine-" Xiao hacked out, evidently not okay. "Just... give me a moment..."

"I'm sorry, it's my fault! I should have given more care to your tastes!"

"I told you didn't I! I want to experience what you talk about, and if it ends like this, then that's fine as well," he managed between coughs and if he wasn't currently hacking his lungs out in front of you, you thought you might have tackled him in a hug.

When the Almond Tofu arrived, despite all this protests, Xiao seemed intensely happy and gulped it down within minutes. Eager to put the meal behind you, you paid quickly and pulled Xiao back out onto the street with you.

The next few hours were honestly a blur. There was just so much to show Xiao. Despite his initial reluctance to make conversation with the people wandering about, you found that it was actually rather easy to get him to talk. All it took was a sentence or two on your part to draw him into conversation and he would always grudgingly join in. There was often a scoff involved, or a "humans..." muttered under his breath, but at least he was talking to people!

He also didn't seem to want you two to leave. Every time you thought that you may be running out of places, he would make some innocuous remark about a landmark you had mentioned or a certain stall that you frequented that he hadn't seen so far. If you didn't know better, you'd think that he was looking for excuses for the two of you to remain in the harbor.

Not that you were complaining of course, especially since your special plan for the day hinged on you two remaining there until the sun set. Finally, it seemed as though you two had exhausted your sightseeing list, you look a seat on the steps overlooking the harbor, sitting in comfortable silence.

Despite his apparent lack of love for human food, you had managed to get him to try a certain pulled cotton candy dessert. He must have absolutely loved it because he had gone back for seconds about three times before you managed to pull him away from the stall.

"Such a sweet tooth!" you had teased, bringing a slight blush to his cheeks as he took another bite.

"... shut up it tastes... nice."

The sun had gone down a little while ago and from where you sat, you could see the edge of the wharf, as well as the activity you had been planning the entire day. Hopefully Xiao would like it... You were't sure though if it would be particularly to his taste. After all, he had refused to come to the Lan-

"Are you ready to head back now?" Xiao questioned, drawing you from your thoughts.

You shook your head, perhaps a little to enthusiastically based on the questioning look he aimed at you. "N-No not yet! There's just one more thing I think we should do before we leave!"

Xiao shrugged at that, though the way he was glancing at you out of the corner of his eye was a dead giveaway that he was at least a little interested. "Well, let's get it over with then."

Beaming over at him, you stood, making your way over to the edge of the wharf. There was a woman you had never met before standing there, a pair of glowing lanterns in her hands. As she saw you, she gave you a warm smile before extending the lanterns to you. With them in your possession, she bowed quickly and turned to leave. Xiao's curious gaze followed her as she retreated, though his attention turned back to you and your lanterns quickly.

"What are these for?" he questioned.

"They're lanterns! You weren't here during the Lantern Rite, but people release them with their loved ones! You're supposed to make wishes on them too!" Your tone is a little too peppy, but you can't help it. Not being able to get Xiao to come to the Lantern Rite had felt like a genuine failure to you, mainly because there was nothing you wanted more than to just see him happy. If he left now too...

Xiao aimed a skeptical look at you before examining his lantern. "I don't see how this contraption has the power to grant human wishes..."

You giggled at that. "It's just a tradition! Don't think about it too much, and just make a wish!"

Xiao was still staring at you rather blankly. "How do I?"

"Well, close your eyes. Then think of your wish and when you're done with that, just release the lantern!"

You closed your eyes as though to demonstrate, though they opened quickly once more to glance over at Xiao the moment you knew he was no longer looking at you.

Despite his hesitation, the adeptus went along with your instructions. With a soft sigh, he closed his eyes, holding the lantern between the palms of his hands as he angled his face up to the sky. You weren't sure if it was just you, but there was something different about him right now, but you couldn't pinpoint what it was.

"I just want you to know-" When he started talking, you almost dropped your lantern in shock. Immediately, you closed your own eyes, hoping that he hadn't noticed your staring. "I... I saw part of the Lantern Rite this year."

"Really?"

"You were speaking so highly of it, so I watched from a distance... The lanterns drifting into the sky looked so beautiful, even from far away and... and I wished that I had gone with you."

Your eyes opened on instinct as you turned back to him, mouth agape. Xiao's eyes however, remained closed as he continued to speak softly into the sky.

"Thank you, for this." The words were so soft you may have missed them if you weren't so captivated. It was then that Xiao softly let go of his lantern, finally opening his eyes to watch it drift gently up into the night sky.

You couldn't drag your gaze away from him for a moment, but when you did, you let out a soft sigh before releasing your own lantern.

"These are called Xiao Lanterns you know. They are beauty and hope and a light in the darkness. I wonder who they might be inspired by..."

If you didn't know the man next to you, you might have thought that the small sound he just let out had a hint of a laugh to it.

"Perhaps one day, you'll be able to meet him. Someone worthy of such a legacy."

As the Xiao Lanterns floated up into the heavens, the two of you sat the the edge of the pier, watching them. Eventually, you broke the silence with a soft question.

"So tell me, how did you like my world? Did you enjoy experiencing all that you've heard about?"

Xiao sighed, though the sound lacked the usual grit. "Today was certainly... interesting. I suppose humans and their strange rituals aren't always terrible..."

"You could just say you had fun you know?" you giggled as you nudged him gently, bringing a slight glare to his face as he pulled away first before taking his turn to pointedly nudge you back.

"Well, some humans are quite adept at ruining the mood..."

You laughed at that, turning your face to the sky as you basked in this moment. "That, we are!"

note: he's so precious. i just want him to be happy...

#genshin impact #genshin headcanons #genshin impact fic #genshin fic #xiao #genshin xiao #genshin impact xiao #xiao x reader

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natsukitakama · 4 years

Note

Hi, i loved your general hcs about Kuroo 💞 Could you write for oikawa and kageyama too, please?

Author note : Hello there ♡ Thank you for your request and your kind work it means a lot for me ! it took me a long time I’m sorry about it. I hope you’ll enjoy it those two dorks are my favorite (honestly I can’t dislike a character from Haikyu). Again I tried to be as impartial as possible.

Warning : None just me daydreaming about them / Spoiler-free i base my G headcanon on the anime for now

i do not own those gifs credits to their owner (the Oikawa”s one comes from tenor)

Masterlist

General headcanon Oikawa edition aka pretty boi ... How am I supposed to be impartial ?

A lot of people tends to think he is a lady boy which he is not. Sure the man is handsome, he is very nice and pretty funny but honestly he is married to Volley ball.

Have you seen his reaction when his girlfriend dumped him ? He asked himself what did he do the wrong way. It doesn’t mean that he is blind, that he doesn’t care about you. But Volley ball is his passion. You need to understand that, he is breathing volley, he is eating volley, he dreams volley, he literally went as far as to hurt himself from training. You need to understand that he craves for Volley Ball

It doesn’t mean he won’t take care of you, when this man let someone getting close to him it’s means the world. Have you seen him ? He is self-conscious, he has a low-opinion on himself even when he tried to be cocky it’s just a way to brush off his own insecurities.

He thinks he is not a good setter, he is probably doubting his leadership even his own ability as an athlete (it probably started when he hurt his knee)

I won’t be surprise if he got some trust issues too, despite being pretty popular he is only around the same people which include his best friends Iwa-chan (which he knew since he is child) and his friends from his team that he knew since 3 years. So I don’t think he was in relationship with a lot of people.

Speaking of relationship, i think he will talk with Iwa-chan about his crush you know just to be sure he doesn’t misunderstanding things

He got a tone of buddies but don’t have much friends, it means a lot for him

I do think he is the kind of people to run into your house if you say you’re feeling down, probably because he’ll appreciate if you do the same for him

I highly doubt he can take care of himself, I’m not saying that he can’t live on his own but he tends to forget a lot of things because of volley ball. I do think he’ll skip meal time to time especially night meal because he is too focused on analyzing a match but I also think he is smart enough to know how to stay healthy.

Honestly he needs someone to domestic him, I’m sure he’ll crave for it

He really loves his fans they’re nice with him but sometimes he wish he could be less popular. They put so much hope in him and he is… well him. How is he supposed to support them while he can support himself ? It melt his heart to see how cute they are but it puts much stress on himself

I do think he struggles for sleep because of his anxiety especially when he is fighting a good team

When he got hurt, he was afraid he might no be able to play anymore. He never thinks about what kind of job he would have if he can’t play volley ball. But I can see him being good into social science or something related to language.

I don’t how I know that but I’m 100% sure he smells something sweet like vanilla don’t ask

Despite having some childish attitude, I think he uses it to hide his resentment. Especially when he is with Kageyama, he knows the boy does nothing to hurt him. But the fact he is literally made to play volley ball while Oikawa has to work hard, even hurting his body, is pissing him off. He is jealous of him.

Since he is very close to his nephew I think he is family guy and was probably heart broken when he has to leave his family. I’m sure he FaceTime them as much as he can. I think he bought them ticket so they can travel to see him when he can’t travel.

Probably the kind of people of doing aesthetic things on his instagram, remember the time when he nephew took a picture of him ? We can see a selfie with Takeru, a picture of a Sunlight, a selfie and a tone of picture of his nephew. His instragram is tidy.

He is hard-working, he isn’t afraid of what he takes to achieve his goal. It could be a quality or a fault.

We knows that his previous girlfriend dumped him because he was too focused on Volley ball. It probably means that despite his Monday, he can’t afford much time to date someone. But that doesn’t mean he won’t care about his significant other, maybe sometimes he’ll need you to tell him that it’s okay to live for his passion but that you need to have some times alone together.

He won’t mind quite contrary, he’ll feel so relieve knowing you miss him but at the same time he’ll blame himself for not being able to notice that you were a bit sad lately.

Speaking of notice, don’t even think you can lie to him. The man is able to adjust to anyone he is playing with. That means he is pretty good with people and especially good at reading them. Within a couple of weeks he’ll be able to read your body, he’ll know what makes you feel happy, what bother you and when you lie to him.

Don’t lie to him honestly. As I said before I’m pretty sure he suffered from lack of trust on himself and everyone, he got trust issues. So don’t hide something to him, don’t lie. Tell him when something is wrong. It might not be good, maybe you’ll argue but at least you told him the truth and in the end he’ll be back to you.

Lying means you don’t trust him and if you don’t trust him why would he date you ? I can see him dumping someone because he knows they’re hiding something. Of course if he noticed you hide something because you wanted to buy him a gift he won’t be mad and he’ll act like he didn’t notice (he is a great actor you won’t know he knew)

Despite not being able to date you as much as he wants, he’ll be sure to be around you. If you two went into the same high-school, he’ll have lunch with you, he’ll walk you home, probably text you a lot (morning and night text are the most, he can’t sleep if you do not send him a have good night text)

Like Kuroo, I think he won’t mind getting married earlier. He is part of people who knows when they met their soulmate you know ?

He will never give up on his career though, that means you’ll have to move with him If you want to spend the rest of your life with him.

It’s kinda selfish but volley is too important for him, you need to respect that

I also think he wants children, I can see him being a good dad (he claims he wants only boy but he’ll love his daughter with his life)

At this time, we all know he is fan of science fiction. He is probably interested on everything related to space.

X-files is his favorite shows.

Deep down I think he’ll study to become astronaut but he fells in love with volley ball

He loves to show off about his knowledge on space (and if you praise him about it … damn he would never stop)

I need to talk about Glass!Oikawa cause he is too handsome, since he used it to watch a match. I think he might be short-sighted and wears contacts when he plays otherwise he won’t see shit.

Since his favorite meal is milk bread (can relate buddy don’t worry) if think he has a sweet tooth

To conclude, Oikawa is really great character with an interesting development and he is not as « superficial » as people tends to think he is more deeper than that.

General headcanon Kageyama edition

Another volley ball’s addict

You’re all pictured Tsukishima as a tsundere which is 100% true but do not forget this boy

He is obsessed with volley ball and is own skill, he looks like Oikawa more than he would like to admit. Both of them are perfectionist, both of them are hard-working, both of them are passionate about volley ball to the point they might forget everything else.

Oikawa tends to not really taking care of himself while Kageyama struggle with relationship, we all see that he is not good with people. Not that he didn’t try.

For now I know nothing about his past, but I think he used volley ball at some point to counterbalance something about his life. He worked harder to forget a situation who hurt him. Especially during his junior years.

I do not think he is the nasty type, I think he is someone shy who struggle with relationship. All he needs is some help, he is completely aware of his lack of skills when it came to socialize, he tends to talk a lot with Sugawara because he is capable of talking with everyone. I won’t be surprised if they talk a lot you know to help him relax around his teammate. He even worked hard so he’ll be nice with Tsukishima

I think we all know that the reason he hates being called « King » is because it reminds him times when everyone left him, when everyone decided they will be better without him. I think he got so abandonment issues which tends to stop him from making friends.

After all why will he bothers making friends while he knows they will leave him eventually ?

At the same times, he loves being surrounded by friends so that’s why he worked so hard on his social skill : cause he knows not everyone could be as easy-to-live as Hinata can be. Not everyone can’t see beyond his « king »’s behavior

I think he loves animal especially dogs and the fact that he is afraid that animal might not like him prove it. Just picture him with a Shiba while going for a run ?

I think he sees Hinata as a best friends or at least someone close, he helps him going through some of his fears, forces him to do better In order to be a good setter for his teammate. They are rivals but they are friends too.

Deep down I think he would be a great friends with Tsukishima both of them haves some issues, but if they went through this they would be great friends

The CD-Drama confirm this, but he is very popular ; girls really like him probably because he is an athlete with dark hair and blue eyes (or it’s just me fangirling over him ?)

Like Oikawa I don’t think this man he thought about an alternative job if he couldn’t be an athlete unlike Oikawa he is not good at school. So it was volley ball.

Despite his inability to make friends, he can talk to people as we saw during his training on Tokyo with Atsumu he is pretty easy to talk as long as you’re talking about volley ball.

I’m pretty sure people of his class tries to talk with him but since he only talks about volley ball they just stop. I wasn’t lying when I said he is obsessed with volley ball.

Nonetheless, since he is pretty strict when it came to health ; I won’t be surprise if he studied so he could have a healthier way of live. I’m sure he knows a lot of things about food, what kind of food he needs to eat before running etc, I won’t be surprise if he would send some text to remind his teammate (especially Hinata) to eat properly … in his own way.

Yeah he insults them but not in the mean way more like « you don’t know you need to eat banana after running ? How stupid are you »

He would be a great nutritionist for athlete

Despite everyone calling him special, he doesn’t see himself as a genius. That’s why he was so jealous about Hinata because to him he was the genius, cause he got so many potential while he barely has to work to be like this (Kageyama despite being awesome, worked hard to be how he is).

The truth is he is too lazy for school which is a shame considering the memory he got and how dedicate he can be when is interested on something

I also think he never date someone unlike his teammate he isn’t ashamed on that. He needs someone special, and he is too busy with volley ball to think about it.

For what it worth I think he is into someone kind, not the mummy type but some who is into domestic things. I can picture him being overwhelmed every time he saw you cooking for him

He is probably the type of guy who can break you if heard you talking shit about someone he cared about

He isn’t very talkative especially about his feelings so he uses his action to show people he cares about them. For example the fact that he knows how to give you the ball so you could spike it’s his way of telling you that he consider you as someone close to him (don’t disappoint him)

If he’ll stop yelling he would be a good teacher, he can analyze almost everything quite quickly so he can tell you what you’ve done the wrong way. 99% of the time he came with a solution.

During his junior high, one of the reason of his behavior was the fact that he became a setter after Oikawa, we all know that he is still his biggest rival because Oikawa is everything Kageyama isn’t. He had to become setter for his team while they all know Oikawa, he probably felt like he had to so much better so he could beat Oikawa even if he left for high school. Kageyama was already a perfection before he met Oikawa and his obsession became stronger after Oikawa left. So yeah it could explain why he was such an asshole to his team and how he looked so shocked and kinda depressed when his team left him.

Even if he actually beat Oikawa, Oikawa still win a match so there is a draw between them. However Oikawa is still a better setter at Kageyama’s sight, no matter how hard he will work it won’t be enough. And he knows that.

But his insecurity is also his strength, it’s because he is insecure about his skill as a setter than he is working hard to be even better. While people would give up he stands up and work harder

I’m pretty sure he is addict to milk and yogurt because he believes it’ll help him getting bigger (also because he loves the taste of it and I couldn’t agree more)

I’m not seeing him being the type to get married or having a baby, but he’ll easily settle down with someone if he believes you’re made for each other

I think he is dog type (probably into Shiba or Husky)

Since his room is pretty empty judging by what we saw, I don’t think he is materialist. I think he tends to buy things if he really feels like he needs it.

Apparently he run earlier in the morning and since he is very strict about his health I believe he doesn’t need a lot of hours of sleep. Probably something like 7 hours are enough for him maybe less.

He valued punctuality a lot it probably bothers him when someone is late ; no matter what time it is he will be there, he isn’t afraid of waking up at 4am if it’s important for him. Besides we saw that he can sleep even on Saeko’s car so I guess he can sleep everywhere he just has to want it.

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miss-tc-nova · 4 years

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The Cat’s Meow - Jumin Han x Fem!Reader Pt 17-Finale

Okay, look, I know the first half of this is kind of...Anyway! Maybe not my best ending, but I giggled writing it so there. I promise that the bonus chapter coming out tomorrow will be better.

Part 17: Thank You/Finale

Grumbling, I flop into the chair and let my head fall onto the table. The chair beside me moves and, with a grumble, Saeran sits and lets his forehead meet the table as well.

Things went a little crazy in the hospital following the incident with Rika. Out of it came Saeran, Luciel’s, or rather, Saeyoung’s brother who’d been manipulated by Rika. He’d caused havoc his first night at the hospital, but had come around to understand Luciel’s true intentions and Rika’s misdirection. He came to apologize to me the following day and we actually get along pretty well, taking on the suffering together in cynicism. We’re only a week in, with the doctor stating it may not even be the halfway mark.

“You too, huh?” I mumble, feeling the deep-set ache in my muscles.

“I considered cocaine today,” he groans. “But Saeyoung said I had to find it myself and I’m too tired for that shit.”

I laugh a bit, turning my head to look at him. “Jumin’s making every employee remove all cigarettes and medications from the C&R building. I think he’s even put all his wine in storage.”

Saeran lets his head fall to the side, giving me a suspicious look. “...None of that would work for our withdrawals.”

“I know...”

“Aww, look at our little druggies sulking together!” Saeyoung teases, sitting across from us. He’s also become a bit brighter since everyone’s been working to get him out of his secret agent job.

“_____, are you okay? Do you need anything?” Jumin asks, resting a hand on my back.

“Mmmeth.”

Saeran starts snickering.

Jumin replies in a warning tone, “_____.”

Giggling, I push myself off the table. “I know. Meth is expensive.”

“_____, get your facts straight. Cocaine is the expensive one,” Saeran says, earning a frown from Jumin.

“It’s not that price that’s the problem,” Jumin states.

Still chuckling, I play with the end of his sleeve and look up at him. “I’m just kidding. I could really use a water though.”

His stern expression softens and the heir leans in to kiss my forehead. “Very well.”

We quietly watch him go before Saeyoung adds, “You know he’d probably find you meth if you were truly desperate for it.”

“Noooo...Couple months ago, maybe. But definitely not now.”

“But we have withdrawals now,” whines Saeran.

Reaching out, I half-heartedly take his hand in comfort. “Be strong, Sae! We will overcome this!”

He’s not impressed. “I hate you so fucking much right now.” Even he can’t keep a straight face through his insult.

“I see non-druggie Sae likes to swear.”

“He has no respect for my innocent ears!” Saeyoung complains.

“You were watching porn last night!” shouts Saeran.

Saeyoung points a finger at his brother. “It was holy porn.”

“Holy porn, my ass!”

By now, I’m lying on the table crying from laughing so hard. That’s when the rest of the group finally enters the room.

“Hey guys!” Yoosung greets. “Oh wow, you guys look awful.”

“Shut it, blondie,” I retort, sitting up and wiping my eyes. Jumin passes me a water bottle. “Thanks sweetheart.”

“Hello Saeyoung, Saeran, _____,” V greets, Zen pushing him in a wheelchair. Not only was he still miraculously recovering from the gunshot, but also the eye surgery Jumin finally convinced him to have.

Now the situation with V was much more strenuous than making friends with Saeran; I had killed the woman he loved. Honestly, the moment I could walk on my own and was allowed to see him, I fell to pieces, sobbing and begging for his forgiveness. The man assured me multiple times that it wasn’t my fault but I know it still hurts him. Still, even if I will always feel the guilt, he doesn’t outwardly hold it against me.

He pushes a tray onto the table. “I brought treats for everyone.”

Saeran apparently hasn’t had enough of our shenanigans. “Is it drugs?”

Poor V is so confused. “I-...What?”

“Sae! No one is going to bring you cocaine!” I exclaim, slamming a hand on the table.

The room is silent for a minute before Saeran breaks, laughing. “I hate you so much.”

I lean back heavily in my chair, staring at V. “But seriously, what’dyu bring?”

“Uh, I brought cookies.”

“Yay,” I whisper loudly.

Saeran and I are the first to partake. Cravings and increased appetite are withdrawal symptoms; that combined with the fact that Saeran and I both naturally have a sweet tooth, we’re sugar monsters.

Jaehee sits down, looking concerned. “Though you two do seem to be suffering from serious withdrawals. Are you going to be alright? Are you going to therapy or counseling or anything? I read somewhere that people suffering from withdrawals often relapse without secondary treatment.”

“Dis is mah ferapy,” Sae replies through half a cookie.

Saeyoung speaks up, “He’s meeting someone on Friday.”

Jumin folds his arms. “And _____ has an appointment next week.”

I huff. “I’m telling you, I don’t need a therapist. My addiction didn’t come from voluntary use so what’s a therapist gonna do? Tell me not to take any more drugs? That’s great ‘cause Sae won’t make me any anyway!” I glare when my boyfriend takes my cookie away.

“Don’t look at me,” Saeran growls. “I wasn’t part of the group that made the elixir. The bathtub would be full if I knew how to make it. We’d probably just poison ourselves trying to replicate the stuff.”

I grumble, “So, much to our dismay, Saeran and I will not be relapsing.” I reach for another cookie. “We are, however, scouting new substances to abuseTHAT’S MY COOKIE!” I snap at Jumin, who’s taken the fourth from me.

“Substance of choice? Sugar,” hums Saeyoung.

“You’re going to that appointment. And you’ll just complain later if you keep eating all these sweets,” Jumin replies, not bothered at all.

Grumbling, I fold my arms. “I’m complaining now.”

“Also, it’s polite to share and Saeran has already taken the extras.” He passes off the cookie to Yoosung while pointing out the pile Sae is hoarding. The former-cultist pulls his stash closer to his seat when he catches me staring. We glare.

“Dammit.”

V clears his throat. “Alright, sugar and withdrawals aside, I’d like to begin the first official meeting of…of…Did we ever decide on a new name?”

“We did not,” Jaehee replies.

“Oh, well then I guess that’s the agenda of our first meeting. Would anyone like to make any suggestions?”

Jumin raises his hand. “Jumin Han, we are not naming the new organization after me,” I growl. He puts his hand down before raising it again. “Or either of the cats.” Hand goes down.

From there, the brainstorming goes on and on until it comes down to Sunrise Charity, mostly because V didn’t want it to be called VFA, which is fair enough. After discussing some dates for the inaugural charity party, we end the meeting there and Jumin takes me home, and I mean my home.

“Mako, I’m home!” I sing. The fold comes padding out to greet us with his chirping. Jumin kneels down to scratch behind his ears. “That took longer than I thought it would. I should start working on dinner.”

“I could have something ordered,” offers Jumin.

“No. I’m a big girl. I can cook for myself.” I eye him for a minute. “Can you even make anything edible?”

He thinks for a moment. “Pancakes.”

I gasp, hanging against him with my arm around his neck. “You should make me pancakes in the morning.”

An embrace that brings comfort engulfs me. “Is that what you want?”

“Yes. Also, maybe…” Supporting myself, I trace the pattern on his tie. “You could spend the night?”

I’ll admit it, since the incident, being alone has been a bit distressing. I’ve gotten over a lot of my withdrawal symptoms while recovering in the hospital, but there are a few that still plague me. My first night home, I woke up in a sweat my first night home and didn’t go back to sleep. Jumin made a point of staying on the phone with me until I fell asleep after that.

“Do you think we’re ready for that?” He’s concerned.

I scrunch my nose at him. “Afraid you won’t be able to resist me in my sloppy pajamas and bed-head?”

“Yes.”

My shoulders droop. “Wow. Okay. Maybe we aren’t ready for that.”

Jumin’s forehead rests against mine. “If it’s what you want, I’ll spend the night. It might be tough, but I’ll practice my restraint.”

I sigh. “I don’t want to push it.”

“Perhaps we should. How will we ever get anywhere if we don’t try?” He chuckles. “Besides, even if I do end up pushing it too far, you’ll just threaten me with a knife.”

I hide my face in his chest. “You’re never going to let me live that down, are you?”

“You threatened the life of a high-profile corporate heir.” A gentle hand beneath my chin encourages me to look up. “I promise; I’ll keep myself under control. Do you still want me to stay?”

“Please?”

I receive a kiss to my brow. “Very well. But first I need to run to the office to sign some documents and stop by my home for some things.”

“Okay. I’ll have dinner ready when you get back.”

With a kiss goodbye, Jumin heads out and I change into sweats and a t-shirt before I prepare food. Before long, he returns with a small bag.

“How was the office?” I ask, stirring the pasta.

“It was fine. Just needed a signature so we can begin analysis on the coffee chain tomorrow.”

“Ew…”

“Yes. Ew.”

I giggle. “Well dinner’s almost done. You should go change.”

He glances at the suit he didn’t change out of. “You want me to change?”

“Yes! Look at this!” I pick up a magazine from ages ago that had a page of Jumin lounging in the sun in a t-shirt with a blue over shirt. “I know you own normal clothes and I demand you wear them more!”

A corner of his mouth quirks. “Demand, huh?”

“Yes! Especially if you’re going to be lazy with me!”

Apparently, I amuse him. “I see.”

“And I swear to god, if your pajamas are some ridiculous matched set they wear in comedy family movies, I’m going to have to seriously reconsider this relationship!”

A hand feebly covers up the laugh he’s trying to contain. “So…*ahem* So I should probably go then?”

“Are you serious?! What are you, twelve?!”

“I sincerely hope not or you’re at serious risk of going to prison for romancing a minor.” I glare. “Also, can we discuss why you have a magazine from last year with that page dog-eared?”

I turn back to the stove in an attempt to hide my blush. “Shut up and go get ready for dinner.”

Sure of his victory, Jumin ambles away. With two bowls in hand, I get comfortable in the living room when in walks that man in a gray t-shirt and sweats. The bit of water in my mouth goes right back out.

“Where did you get those?!” I shout, temperature rising.

His smirk signals that he’s still playing with me. “I’ve had these for a while now.”

“And yet you lounge around in slacks and a dress shirt?” I retort, picking up my bowl. “I’m going to corrupt you with my laziness.”

“We’ll see.”

Throughout dinner, I can’t help my wandering gaze every time I let up the reins on my brain; I begin zoning out and my eyes immediately drift to Jumin. Not only am I very much addicted to how he looks being casual for once, but the fact he’s here to spend time with me as my boyfriend is a nice thought.

“Are you okay?” he’s caught me.

“Uh, yeah. I’m fine.”

His brows furrow. “Are your hands numb again?”

The question draws my attention to my hands that I’ve been flexing mindlessly, trying to work through the pins and needles. This is part of my recovery, part of the withdrawal. “Yeah, but it’ll pass.”

Jumin takes a hand and beings gently massaging my palm with his thumbs. He’s been doing things like this since I woke up. The nausea was terrible the first few days and he was there to endure it with me. The lights and volume were turned down when they became too much. He even fed me a few times when my hands would shake so much I couldn’t do it myself. I hate it but at the same time, I’m so thankful to have someone here looking after me.

“How’s that?” he asks.

I test my movement. Most of the foreign sensation is gone. “A lot better. Thanks.” Jumin suddenly pulls me against him and leans against me until I collapse onto the sofa. “What are you doing?”

Jumin hovers over me, grazing his nose against mine. “I wanted to cuddle with my girlfriend.”I’m positive he can feel the heat radiating from my face. “Am I making you uncomfortable?” his deep voice rumbles.

“No,” I say softly.

“Good.” The man wedges his hands beneath me before relaxing on top of me, his head resting against my chest. Once he’s comfortable, he gives a very satisfied, content sigh. Adjusting to my cuddly partner, I settle in to watch the movie while running my fingers through his soft hair. It doesn’t take long for me to hear a deep, steady breathing. Seeing this man, whose entire wardrobe consists ninety percent of suits, who’s known for living high class, who’s always been the ever-vigilant business man; seeing him here in my tiny home, in a t-shirt, and fast asleep upsets the butterflies in my stomach.

The movie ends and I have to come to terms with the fact that I need to use the bathroom and that requires disturbing Jumin. I savor the sight for just a moment longer before attempting to wake him.

“Jumin. Sweetheart, get up.”Groaning, he tightens his grip. “Jumin, stop! I need to pee!”

Flinching, the man props himself up. “What? What’s wrong?” he grumbles.

“I need to use the bathroom, but maybe you should go to bed if you’re so tired.”

Jumin sits up, rubbing at his eyes. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”

I slip off the sofa and reach out to brush some hair from his eyes. “It’s fine. It is getting late though; you should go to bed.”

The man stands up too. “Only if you join me.”

Rolling my eyes, I let a smile pull at my lips. “Alright. Let me shut everything down. Go on; go get ready for bed.”

Once the bathroom problem is solved, I shut down the movie and clean up a bit. Ambling into the bedroom, I find my boyfriend sitting on the bed, providing Mako with enough ear scritches to get the motor running. Interrupting the bonding, I sneak my way onto Jumin’s lap, wrapping my arms around his neck and planting a kiss on his cheek. The response is a soft, reverent kiss in return that puts me under his spell almost immediately. For a while, I bask in the comfort of Jumin’s presence and the love he emits. My muscles ache, my head is full of dull pain, sometimes pins and needles overtake my hands, and sometimes I can’t sleep, but right here I get complete solace.

Jumin groans and breaks the kiss. “You’re tempting me, love,” he says lowly, and I can see the lust alight in his eyes.

“Says the man who made it much easier for me to strip him down,” I hum, slipping a hand beneath the hem of his shirt against his abs. I immediately notice the pink bleed across his face and the passion flare up. I nearly tear his shirt trying to rip my hand out. “No! Wait! I take it back!”

He sighs, pinching at the bridge of his nose. “How cruel you are.”

“Eheh, sorry. We should go to sleep now.”

I flip the lights and sneak under the covers with Jumin. An arm snakes around my waist, pulling me flush against him. With a bit of a giggle, I hook a leg over his waist and latch onto him. The musky sweet scent accompanied by the warmth of his presence quickly envelopes me and I feel like I could just melt.

It’s been only a couple years since I met Jumin Han, and my life since then has been everything except perfect, but all the seems so far away now. The tears, fears, worries, none of that matters now. I have the love of my life in my arms; we struggled and suffered so much to get here, but we can finally be happy. I can finally give him everything without getting in my own way. The relief is so overwhelming I could cry, but instead I just revel in the peace.

On the exhale, I hum.

“What’s wrong?” he asks.

“Nothing. I’m just…happy,” I reply, resting my forehead against his chest. “Thank you for staying. And thank you for taking care of me.”

His arms tighten briefly. “I already told you, I would do anything for you,” he murmurs into my hair.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

#jumin han #jumin x reader #jumin han x mc #jumin han x reader #jumin x mc #mm jumin #mysme #mysme jumin #mystic messenger #fem!reader

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polygamyff · 4 years

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38. Part 3

I don’t really care for Thomas and his words, I am more thinking on the fact I am getting praised on the news channel, I need to get back to work, quick too because I miss it. I should applaud myself, I have done well, and then I got this little one. Reign resting her head on my shoulder and playing with my beard hair, I don’t know why that has interested her. Raising an eyebrow looking down at her, grabbing her little hand, she looked up at me and I just smiled at Reign. Pressing a kiss to her hand before letting her hand go, this girl really wants all the loving from me. Hugging Reign close, I could be a stay at home dad too, I just want to gather myself and go back to work but I still have that slight pain. Sighing out looking towards the kitchen area, I am so relaxed. You would think I had weed before coming here, which I didn’t, and I have been cutting down on the smoking, the last one I had was before we left. I don’t think Thomas bugs me like he thinks, it will be when Robyn is upset, I will care because when it’s about me I don’t care because I know this already, tell me something new. I know I look like this; I know I am ill; I know I have Naomi still, what else can he say to me. Scrunching my face up, this girl and her hand all in my face, now she out here slapping my face “no” moving her hand, the fact even though I have changed slightly in looks she knows me, like I don’t need anybody’s approval because Reign knows me, and then voices are being raised of course. Thomas is still lingering around, looking over at them again before getting up. I am ill, I am in slight pain, but I will still beat a nigga up. Reign also lifted her head up; she makes me laugh this girl. Walking around the couch “you can’t help yourself but say things, why should you stay if mom said go then go” Robyn said “it’s my house too! Not just hers!” Thomas barked “she wants you” I said to Robyn knowing full well she is fine with me “ok, but that does not make a difference. Why are you being like this” Robyn took Reign from me, she didn’t really want Robyn, she was ok with me “and look at you, billionaire boy. I mean your money can’t buy you health can it” he is funny “it also can’t buy you blood but we all don’t get what we want” Thomas’ face dropped, like I just killed his mother “you know what Thomas, you rode my jet, you stayed at my hotel, you ate my foot knowing full well you was shit to me. You don’t know me Thomas, I can make your life hell. And when you are making my mother in law sad, you really pushing it” stepping to him, Thomas stood up now he is not a small guy himself. In build I am skinny as shit right now “you’re step closer to your grave” he laughed in my face “and so are you” I balled my fist and put every ounce of energy into this because I have been waiting for this moment, punching him straight in his face but I didn’t expect him to just fall straight to the ground “Maurice!” Robyn spat; he fell straight to the ground. I cringed at my hand being in such pain “damn” walking back shaking my hand in pain.

I am more worried about my hand, now I am feeling it but that was built up anger “mom, he is ok. He’s just got concussion” Robyn said “Maurice, what the hell. Is that why you gave me Reign?” I just laughed “well he deserves it, Terry. You want me to take him outside?” she is the boss “the neighbours will see, no” he is getting up now anyways “Thomas, hey. Get up” Terry is being too nice; she is helping him get up “come on” she is helping him up “where did that come from Maurice?” Robyn stood next to me “he deserves it, but now I feel weak as shit for it just don’t” I don’t want to hear Robyn say anything “you!” Thomas pointed at me “Robyn, stay out of the way. Come on then, you think you’re funny. You have nothing” I think I may at this point get my ass beat from this, Terry tried to grab him, but he came at me “no! You stop, no dad!” Robyn stood in front of me “you leave him! You go! Get out!” Robyn shouted “leave us alone” Robyn broke down crying and then so did Reign “leave them alone Thomas, please go” Terry pushed at Thomas and hugged Robyn, she did lowkey save my ass because I don’t think I can do a fight right now with myself like this “ssshh Robbie, it’s ok I am here” Thomas walked off through the kitchen, I think need to sit my ass down to be honest. The door banged shut “I’m sorry” I shouldn’t have done that but I did and he deserved it, wrapping my arms around them both.

Robyn went to CVS for me, she is still upset and I said I would go but she refused and said she will go alone “here, new ice pack for you” Terry said “oh thank you” taking it from her “I was actually waiting on the moment you did that, I don’t blame you at all Maurice. He picked at you but I wish you was well enough for it” placing the ice pack on my hand “same, he would have beat my ass after that” I chuckled “I just didn’t like it, he seems like he was bullying you all, he still stood there and was refusing to move, he was talking shit and I had enough. It has taken it out of me” I laughed “but I made Robyn cry also, are you ok? I didn’t really want to come but then like a dumbass I said it to Robyn, I said that I hate being away from her, that I needed her and I felt lonely so she made me come, I made it worse” shaking my head, I knew this would have happened “don’t say that, you can’t fix what was already broken Maurice. Before you both arrived he was going to his mother’ home because we aren’t getting on, he just hates me, he feels like I allowed Robyn to do this and then he turned it on me saying I lured him in and made him waste his life here, so I said then go. I am just heartbroken and now I have a broken marriage, maybe it was broken already, he said he loved me for my beauty. But I said it to him, I goes you loved Robyn. You adored that girl, a daddy’s girl, it doesn’t make sense to me or her. Then he said she has a new daddy, and I went crazy on him. And he said I should have done what Maurice did, it’s like seeing you and what you did made him trip, but I am just hurt by him. I feel like Robyn probably kept us together, and apparently, he has a new girl. So, he says anyways” this is a mess “I am so sorry, this is like my fault. I am sorry Terry. He really wasn’t the man you loved anyways, I am sorry to say but that guy died, the one you loved” I answered truthfully but me and my big mouth, Terry put her head down “I know” she strained out, moving the ice pack from my hand as I got up, placing the ice pack on the table and sat next to Terry “I am sorry this has happened to you, I am sorry” placing my arm around her “don’t say it is your fault, it was there. You just bought it forward, so thank you for exposing it” I do feel bad “you’re a good son in law” she laughed “I try” I feel bad.

Terry came back downstairs “while she is doing her thing, I have always kept these” she waved some pictures around, she sat back next to me “Terry, I know a lot of people. I can get you with some rich man that deserve you, trust me. You are so beautiful, you can get another man” Terry laughed “you’re funny, I think I need to take a break from men but here” she passed me a photo “I would have dated you looking like a whole meal” Terry is and was fine as hell “stop it but this is Robyn’ father, I kept the pictures” nodding my head seeing her real dad “see, he looks like a street nigga, that smirk with the gold tooth, I see where Robyn got her nose from” I chuckled “I always thought, that. She is just as beautiful as you but she got his features more than when I see Thomas, yeah” noddimg my head “yeah she got her daddy’ feature, you know what. It’s a shame he never got the chance, I think if he was here in this world, he would adore her. Yeah, I can see it. He looks like a good guy though, he got that look in his eye, he liked you. Got that thug pose in the corner store, I see you Terry” I laughed looking over at her “oh my bad, I am sorry. Please don’t cry” I keep making this woman cry “ignore me Maurice, sorry but yeah. I was, I was smitten with him” she took the picture from me “these are such old-style pictures, but this was our first valentines. I didn’t think he would do anything because I mean it was only about a month that we been together, but here” taking the picture from her “Terry, were you a crip? I see these blue colours ma, I am starting to think” Terry laughed out “that is a story for another day, but I was so happy with my rose. Look at my smile, I was so over the moon. We were wearing matching sneakers, I just wish we never argued that night, I wish different and it’s just stupid. He was taken so young and at our peak, and I know he would have liked you Maurice. You know Thomas doesn’t like you but I know he would like you, he really would. He was a character, behind closed doors he was so sweet” smiling at Terry “I appreciate it, you know if you ever want to speak to me I am here for you. It is hard to keep such a thing to yourself. You think it’s something you want to tell her?” I asked, holding the picture out to Terry “what do you think? This is Robyn, she was born and I also found out she would be my only child, she is my blessing” taking the picture from her “she was big and white” I chuckled “It was Rell wasn’t it, it’s sad. I am sad for you both, I feel like he was taken horribly and if he was here, then you would be in a different situation and Robyn would have never been called a whore or be treated like this but I honestly don’t want her to know, not right now” Robyn was chubby as fuck “I agree, I will put these away. They mean a lot to me” Terry needs to catch a break, it’s not fair on her.

Robyn finally came back, with Pizza though “I thought we all need to eat, who can be bothered to cook, and I got you some ointment” she is so cute “cool, Reign fell asleep pretty much when you left. She is in her crib” getting up from the couch “how is your hand? You didn’t break it did you?” shaking my head, walking over to her “I am good, it’s just sore” taking the pizza from her “I love you” pressing a kiss to her lips “I love you too, I just needed some air” Robyn said and I do understand why she needed air, I mean it is a lot to take in with everything. To tell Thomas you’re not coming, her own father it must hurt her. Placing the box on the table “thank you Robbie, for getting us pizza. I was going to cook us something up, but thank you daughter” pulling the chair out and sitting down, I need some real good sleep because I am so tired but I am upset about Terry but like I don’t know what to do “come sit down” pulling the chair out “just washing my hands, be right there” I need to talk to her, I can feel the hurt. I could never do that to Reign, but then it’s not his real daughter so he doesn’t have a heart but still, I couldn’t break her heart like this and I want to honestly kill him for hurting her like this “I am here now” Robyn said as she walked around the table “come, sit with me” patting the chair “you miss me?” she sat down “I did miss you” turning the chair to me “Maurice, you need to stop doing all these things, you don’t have the energy for it. Look at your hand” she grabbed my hand “Robyn, look at me” moving my hand away from her hands “Bonita” Robyn lifted her head and looked at me, she smiles at me but I can see her sadness “I am sorry” lifting my hand up and pushing Robyn’ hair back behind her ear “I am so sorry, it’s his loss. I didn’t want to come for that reason but I am sorry” my thumb lightly grazing the side of her face, Robyn is trying so hard not to cry “I just wanted him to walk me” she blurted out and then the tears came with it “I know you did” hugging Robyn close “family I am here! I am so sorry, I just got caught up, you know me” Leon said and then stopped walking “oh my god Robyn, Oh my god, Maurice!? What is happening?” Leon half shouted in shock.

Wrapping my arm around Robyn, my poor baby is so hurt “Robyn, I am so sorry. What exactly happened? I am so lost?” Leon asked, Terry sat down “as you know Thomas is not happy with Maurice, it’s just escalated and Maurice has punched him and I sent him out” Leon’ face softened “Oh my god, that is awful, I am so upset. But what about Robyn? Why is he being so selfish, what happened to you?” he looked at me “my illness, I stopped eating to be honest that is why” Leon let out an oh “I am sorry Maurice, you poor thing. I feel so upset for you all, why is he doing this? Maurice is a great guy” if only they know the truth “because Leon, it is ongoing. Nothing is ever perfect, Thomas and I just kept it in the bedroom with the arguments but I just right now. I want my daughter to have the best day, they both want a private ceremony to get married Leon” he let out on oh “and all I wanted was for my dad to be happy for me, to walk me down the aisle” Robyn said, Terry put her head down “then, you know what. I will do it, Robyn don’t you dare worry! He always thought I was trash anyways; Robyn stop it! Friend you listen to me, you don’t waste no more tears, I will walk you down that aisle, look at me Robyn!” Leon spat; Robyn looked at him “I will walk you! I would be honoured to give you away” Robyn nodded her head and started to cry again “I am so heartbroken, oh my gosh” my poor Bonita.

Robyn went to bed, she was fed up, so she went to bed and for me, for a guy that has been feeling tired I am awake still. I know Robyn said don’t scratch my leg, but I am, I can’t help myself but now I am in pain, my fault “you want anything to drink?” Terry asked, shaking my head “I will probably go to sleep soon because Robyn did text me, that was twenty minutes ago about coming up, but she hasn’t replied so she could be asleep” Leon sat next to me on the couch “you ok now friend? What is wrong with you now? You need to moisturise, look at your face” I have Robyn saying that and now Leon “it’s the tablets I am on, I know I look very skinny and things. I am better than I was, I just need to shave, I will be good looking again, don’t worry. But I am ok, just stressed a little bit. I don’t like Robyn upset” Leon sighed out “that Thomas, he is such an asshole. I still think he didn’t like me anyways, always side eyed me” Terry finally sat down “Leon, I need to tell you something. Thomas is not Robyn’ real father” Terry just said it, Leon near dropped his drink “what!?” he shouted, “you’re lying!?” Leon spat “I’m not, we decided to not ever tell Robyn this because Thomas was in her life. He’s decided to go against what we both said we would do for her, he has hurt my daughter so much and I can’t take it, Thomas is not her father” Leon looked on in horror “I am telling you this to get an idea of her reaction” Terry said “I feel heartbroken and lied too and it’s not even my life, no. Oh god no, my poor friend” Leon started sniffling, he got up from the couch “I just needed to test it out, get a feel for the reaction and it’s not good” I don’t want her to know this, not before I get married to her, like that is a no “what do you want to do Terry? Either way she is going to be hurt” Leon is actually crying “this is just too sad, mom why?” Leon said, rubbing my face “Leon, I need you to keep quiet for a while” clearing my throat “you tell Thomas, he can do it seeing as he wants to be such a big man in this. I don’t know what to do, do I wait or tell before the marriage. Tell him, he says it and he can explain why he’s such a shit person” I am so angry with him “none of this shit would have happened if he didn’t just be a man, my dad hated everything about this now that nigga can’t stop calling Robyn. Leon, just don’t ever say anything right now” it’s just a mess “I won’t but it’s so sad, I am hurt” I wish I could have beat his ass better “Maurice, are you coming up. Leon why are you crying?” Robyn is awake, I hope she didn’t hear anything “I said his hair looks weird” getting up from the couch “and then he said he would get me fired so I cried” Leon said, Robyn shook her head “stop teasing him Maurice, you know he’s sensitive” Robyn said “I know, but how come you ain’t sleeping? You legit waiting for me?” Robyn went up the steps “yes, I need to do your leg” she is such a wife to me already.

“Ah!” moving my arm away from Robyn “I told you not to scratch it what did you do? Scratch it, look at it Maurice, now this is going to sting when I apply it. I swear to god, you deserve that slap” Robyn gets so violent “boo thang don’t like you abusing me, she gets upset” Robyn shook her head “I will throw that bear in the trash soon, how about that?” I chuckled, she is so violent at times “don’t be mean, anyways” I hissed out, that does sting “how are you feeling? Talk to me” this is a weird sensation, it’s like cooling my skin down too. I moaned out in pleasure, the feeling is so pleasing “mhmmm, keep doing that” I like the feeling “I’m going to put a dressing on it, this will hopefully work and, I am ok I guess. I knew he would be an ass, but your hand is sore, I didn’t want this for you. I didn’t want you stressed Maurice; this is not good for you. I want you to sleep now, rest up too” she says rest up but I am not sure if Thomas has the balls to do it, if he does come and he doses do it then her world is going to fall apart, if he doesn’t then he is a bitch ass and I rather keep it low for after the wedding but I feel like Terry wants to lift this burden from her, she wants to unload it so she can move on, I am not sure at all.

#Chrianna #Chrianna FF #Fanfic #Fanfiction

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flickerofcalum · 5 years

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once bitten, twice shy | part two

part 1 // shoot me a message if you wanna be added to a taglist!

The worst part of it all was, despite the changes, Luke could still see all the parts of Brinley that he’d fallen in love with. The parts of her he was still in love with, if he was being honest with himself. He was more fucked than he’d previously realized.

“It was the craziest thing, bro. One minute she was throwing a drink in my face and the next thing I know, she’s got her hand down my pants and her tongue down my throat. I mean, I’m not complaining, but it was confusing as hell.”

Luke rolled his eyes from where he sat on Michael’s couch, listening to him recount the previous evening’s events to Ashton and Calum, Michael hadn’t stopped talking about hooking up with Olivia since they stumbled into his parents’ home early that morning, but thankfully, he’d mostly been too distracted to really pay close attention to his friend anyway. He was unable to stop thinking about his run-in with Brinley the night before.

When he’d decided to come home for Christmas, he’d prepared himself for the worst. He’d known immediately that she wouldn’t want to seem him and honestly, he couldn’t blame her. The two of them had been together for such a long time, had their whole lives planned out with each other, and Luke had selfishly flipped the script on her at the very last minute. He hated himself for it every day.

And god, he had missed her the entire time he’d been gone, but it felt even worse now that he’d laid eyes on her. Brinley had changed so much in their time apart – she was even more gorgeous, which he really hadn’t ever thought would be possible. Though it may have been a little creepy, he’d spent half the night watching her from across the room. He couldn’t stop picturing her long legs in the red dress, the cute way her lips curved up into a smile whenever she’d teased Calum, the delicate blush on her pale cheeks whenever someone gave her a compliment.

“Earth to Luke,” Ashton’s fingers snapped in front of his face, breaking him out of his thoughts. “Are you alive in there?”

Luke blinked a few times. “Sorry. I was just…thinking.”

“About Brinley?” Calum questioned bluntly, raising a dark eyebrow at him. Luke had never really been comfortable discussing Brinley with Calum, and since their break up, he’d tried to avoid the topic all together. While the dark-haired man was one of his best friends, he knew that Calum’s history with his ex went back further than Luke’s history with either of them.

Luke chewed on his bottom lip, scratching his fingers along his stubbled jaw nervously. “I just didn’t think that seeing her again was gonna be so hard, you know?” He sighed a bit. “And she wouldn’t even look at me.”

“Well, you did abandon her right before the two of you were supposed to go off to college together, mate. Can you really blame her?” Michael pointed out, barely looking up from his phone. Luke shot him a glare. He didn’t really need a reminder of what he’d done to Brinley. It was already on his mind more than he would ever admit out loud.

Ashton reached over to pinch Michael’s thigh, eliciting a shriek from red-haired boy. “Not helping, Mike.” He looked back at Luke, his eyes soft and pitying. “She probably just needs some time.”

Luke shrugged sadly. At the party, Brinley hadn’t been able to get away from him fast enough – the chances of her changing her mind about wanting to speak to him were probably slim. He wasn’t stupid enough to think that Brinley was still in love with him. Not only was she beautiful, but she also was incredibly smart, talented, funny, and had the kindest soul out of anyone Luke had ever met. If they hadn’t already, it was only a matter of time before someone else came into her life and swept her off her feet, treated her the way she deserved to be treated. Luke was afraid that he was too late.

“She looked good, though, right? Like…she looks like she’s happy,” Luke said finally. Even if she was never his again, that was all he wanted for her.

He watched as Calum shared a look with Ashton he couldn’t quite read before he reached over to pat Luke’s thigh. “Yeah, man. She’s happy.”

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

The cold air stung his skin as he walked outside, causing him to curse under his breath. When he’d promised his mother he’d come home for the holidays, he’d forgotten how goddamn cold it got there. He didn’t have a lot of warm clothes since he lived in Los Angeles, so he wrapped himself up in one of Jack’s old winter coats. There was a gap between the sleeve and the gloves he was wearing, but it was better than nothing.

Normally, Luke avoided going outside at all costs in the winter, but after being locked up in his childhood bedroom for nearly a week, his mother forced him out of the house with a grocery list. Worst of all, he was without a car, so he had no choice but to make the small trek to the store on foot. It was only about a ten-minute walk, but the frigid weather made it feel like hours.

His cheeks and the tips of his ears were red by the time he arrived at the store. The heat was blasting, something he was grateful for when he walked inside. He grabbed a cart and furrowed his brows as he looked at his mother’s list. It occurred to him that he hadn’t been grocery shopping since he moved to Los Angeles. Most of the time, Ashton took care of that sort of thing or they ate take out. “Milk, egg whites, cereal…” he mumbled to himself underneath his breath as he wandered down the aisles, putting the items in the cart. He was pretty sure he had grabbed the wrong brand of cereal, but it was his mother’s own fault for sending him here.

He stood in front of the milk, thoughtfully looking between all the different types. His mother had been on a health kick lately, so would she want almond milk instead? Was he supposed to buy the store’s off brand version since it was cheaper? Luke had been standing there for far too long whenever he heard his name called out by a sweet little voice.

Brinley turned the corner, an exasperated look on her face as she tried to stop her little sister who was barreling towards Luke. He took in a sharp breath as he saw her. She was only in a pair of leggings and a sweatshirt, her hair thrown messily on top of her head, but she still looked as beautiful as ever to him. “Mallory, no running! You’re going to hurt yourself.”

The man grinned as he bent down to Mallory’s level, catching her when she launched herself into his arms. Luke had always had a soft spot for the younger girl, partly because she was the spitting image of her sister. He was a little amazed at how much she’d grown since he’d last seen her, a heavier weight against him than he was used to.

“There is no way you’re Mallory,” He said teasingly. “You are far too big to Mallory.”

Mallory rolled her eyes, propping a hand on her hip as she looked at him. “That’s ‘cause I grew up, dummy.”

“Mallory, be polite,” Brinley chastised. She locked eyes with Luke for a moment before she looked away with flushed cheeks.

Luke turned his attention back to the younger girl. “My apologies, Ms. All Grown Up. Who said you could grow up while I was gone, hm?”

His smile only grew as the little girl giggled, revealing her missing tooth. “I can’t help it!” She insisted, gripping Luke’s hand once he stood up.

Looking at Brinley again, he dared to speak. “It’s good to see you. It’s a shame we didn’t get to talk at the party.”

Brinley tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, looking up at him through her long eyelashes. “Oh, well… you know, Olivia kind of loses her mind when Michael’s around. I had to make sure she didn’t do anything stupid.”

“Right,” Luke said with a nod, looking back down as Mallory started tugging on his sleeve.

“Luke, Luke! I’m in a Christmas play at my school. I play an angel!” She said excitedly.

Luke grinned. “An angel, huh? How fitting,” he teased, smoothing down her hair.

Mallory rose up on her tiptoes to speak to him. “Will you come see it?”

Brinley coughed. “Mal, I’m sure Luke is really busy…”

Although he knew Brinley didn’t really want him around, he hated the idea of disappointing Mallory by saying no. “I’m actually really not that busy,” he blurted out, chewing on his lip again. “I’d love to come, Mallory. If it’s okay with your sister.”

He felt only slightly guilty as Mallory turned towards her older sister with big eyes, a small pout forming on her lips. “Can he come? Pleaseeee?”

The older girl let out a sigh, giving Luke an exasperated look. “I guess so. Can you let me talk to Luke alone for a second?”

Mallory’s smile was wide as she hugged Luke around his legs for a moment. “Bye Lukey!”

“Bye, petal,” Luke said fondly.

He bit his lip as Mallory ran back over to their nearby cart, pulling the doll she’d left inside out. He’d gotten enough lectures from Brinley to know when she was about to chastise him about something, so he prepared himself as he looked at her. “Brin, look…”

“Don’t call me that,” Brinley snapped, holding one finger up to cut his sentence off. Her gaze felt like it was piercing right through him and he had never felt quite so vulnerable in his life. “I know we’re going to be seeing each other a lot over the next few weeks, but I want to make it clear that I’m not interested in reconciling with you. You can come to her play, and we can be civil when we’re with our friends, but I don’t want anything to do with you other than that?”

At her words, Luke felt his heart jump into his throat. While he didn’t necessarily expect her to jump back into his arms, he at least thought she’d be willing to talk things out. “Can’t you just give me a chance to explain?” He said, a bit more pleadingly than he would’ve liked. “There’s so many things I have to say to you if you’d just give me five minutes.”

Brinley let out a humorless laugh. “If you wanted to explain yourself that bad, you would’ve done it by now. You can’t just show up here after all of this time and expect me to just bend to your will and listen to you.” She insisted. “I just… I just want to forget everything that happened between us. I’m done, I’ve moved on. And I suggest you do the same.”

Luke gaped after her as she stalked back over to Mallory. He’d been on the receiving end Brinley’s anger before, but he had never experienced her being so outwardly harsh. He felt like there was a gaping hole in his chest as he watched her walk away.

As he finished up the rest of his shopping, he felt numb, like he was on autopilot. The wind blew the cold air harshly around him as he walked, but it barely affected him. He’d always known that he’d fucked things up with Brinley, but it was starting to hit him that things between them were messed up beyond repair. The girl he loved wanted nothing to do with him anymore, and it hurt.

So, when Luke got home, he quickly put away the groceries before retiring to his room to deal with his feelings the only way he knew how. He locked his door, grabbed a notebook, and started writing.

#luke hemmings blurb #luke blurb #luke hemmings fanfic #luke hemmings fic #5sos fic #5sos blog #luke 5sos #5sos #obts #kelly writes #this got so long #pls reblog if u read sfjdsdk

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bujeetles · 5 years

Text

a very messy (m-rated) panda shrine avengers fic. to the two people reading this, hope you enjoy!

Peter Orso fucking hated his boss. He had always disliked Francis Monogram, his blatant favoritism towards the main branch and his upper management outlook were bad enough, but this? This was the last straw.

“Ah Agent P. Apologies for calling you on your day off.” he said through Peter’s watch, voice fuzzy and picture weak, because Peter had been hiking, and there wasn’t much signal on the mountain. He didn’t actually sound apologetic at all.

“As you’ve probably heard, some of the Avengers were recently in Danville, and OWCA had a manner of cooperation.”

“So?” he signed, raising his eyebrows even further than was probably necessary.

“Director Fury feels it necessary to set up protocol, in case a similar situation arises. We have elected to send you as the OWCA liaison.”

Peter bit the inside of his cheek to avoid a growl, because seriously? They were shacking this bullshit paper-trail nonsense on him?!

“Why not yours?” he asked, carefully steeling his face so it comes out neutral, instead of infuriated. After all, Agent Perry, Codename Platypus, had been the heroic savior of the hour, or whatever. (The pictures were pretty fun to look at, if he was honest. Very Silver Age.)

“Our Agent P is busy.” He said, like that was any excuse, they were all busy. “Seeing as your nemesis is currently...offline, you are our best option.”

Offline. What a lovely little euphemism, so peaceable, so voluntary sounding. How utterly bullshit. Mystery wasn’t ‘offline’, he was missing, he might even have been abducted, though Peter didn’t have enough evidence to say one way or the other. But Monogram could never say something like that, it would imply he gave a shit. In fact, he was probably actually sending Peter because he was tired of him using paid time to look for Mystery.

“When.”

“There will be an agent waiting as soon as you arrive back in civilization, Agent P. Do hurry.” he said, and hung up.

Fucking asshole.

------------------------------------------------------------------

Peter finished his hike, but there wasn’t any of the peace he’d hoped for in it. He had thought, being away from the city, he might think of some way to find Mystery. It was strange, he’d always been a thwart and run kind of agent, never staying with one person for long. He’d seen every type of evil there was and some things that weren’t so morally defined. He was unattached, and he was good.

And then Mystery, who never told him anything, and yet he was drawn back and back again, in his traps, in his non-specific monologues. After the kidnapping turned coffee date, they’d gotten closer to traditional, what with overarching the tragic backstory out in the open, but Peter kind of liked the not-knowing, having to figure it out from what little he did know.

Now he wondered, if they were normal, functional, healthy nemeses, maybe he could find him. But they weren’t. They were weird and wrong and made for each other.

He shook those thoughts away as he made his way into the parking lot, he didn’t like Monogram at all, but most of OWCA was solid. He couldn’t afford to let them down just because of his situation.

At first, he didn’t see anyone. The lot was empty, mini-vans and sedans everywhere, the occasional non-family car. His motorcycle. One blink later and there was a woman, tight-laced, no nonsense, gray suit. Very obvious, as far as secret agents went, but well, SHIELD was secret only in name, so perhaps it was appropriate. He walked over to her.

“Identification.” she said, in lieu of hello. Not exactly incognito. Still, he fished out his OWCA ID and she narrowed her eyes at him.

“I thought Agent P worked in Danville.” Peter sighed. Monogram really was leaving it all to him, huh.

“You sign?” he asked, because he hadn’t brought his notebook with him, since it was his day off. He could use his phone if it came down to it, but he didn’t like to. The brightness hurt his eyes.

“A little. Mostly military. You might have to finger spell.” she replied. Not ideal, but at least she wasn’t forcing him to write, nor was she being rude about it.

“Not that Agent P. He’s Platypus. I’m Panda.”

“Weird naming system you guys have got going on.” she said, and he snorted, because she didn’t even know about the alliteration convention, or Agent CH out in Arizona, or was it New Mexico?

“I’ll have to verify your identity on the Helicarrier, but I was going to do that anyway. Let’s go.” she said, and before he could ask their means of transportation, he saw the light gather around him, his stomach start to lurch.

‘Shit. Teleportation.’ Was his first thought. His second, ‘I’m going to pass out.’ He was right.

---------------------------------------------------

Peter woke up on a cot, with a headache and no sound. He could still feel the vibrations of the Helicarrier under him, but his aides were gone. Not on the table, not in his pocket. He swore under his breath, he’d already been on his spares, and OWCA insurance always fought tooth and nail when he requested a new pair. He wondered if SHIELD would pay the bill, this time. It was clearly their fault.

Something hit him in the head, not enough to hurt, but to get his attention, and there was a guy in purple and black spandex in the door, grinning wide. Peter didn’t pay a lot of attention to heroes, but the bow slung over his shoulder was a bit of a dead giveaway. Hawkeye.

“New aides, if you want.” he signed, and it was confident, natural. Peter’s gaze flicked to his ears, the curling piece of plastic resting there. Huh.

“Didn’t know Hawkeye was deaf.” he said as he stood, tucking the box into his pocket. He didn’t really want to hear what he was feeling, not with the headache he was sporting.

“Try to keep it on the down low. Villains and all.” he said with a shrug, which was fair enough. “You’re from O-W-C-A, right?” Peter nodded.

“I’m supposed to feed you to the sharks, but as we are deaf bros I’m obligated to save you.” There was a dramatic tone to his signs, almost like he was performing. It made Peter smile. Perry was the only other person he could sign with easily, and he was all quick and efficient, like he was briefing someone. Of course, that could just be the circumstances. You thwart a taken nemesis one time and it’s all icy stares thereafter.

“Where to?” he asked, and Hawkeye grinned.

“We’re here to debrief, which means the gang is all here. How’d you like to meet the Avengers?”

He’s woken up to worse suggestions.

--------------------------------------

The first place Hawkeye inelegantly dragged him is a lab. Probably. Everything’s so techno-futuristic around here that it’s hard to tell. The occupant helped. It’s Iron Man, or Tony Stark, seeing as he wasn’t in the suit, poking away at screens and looking sleep deprived.

He wasn’t perturbed by their sudden entrance, at least, Peter was pretty sure he wasn’t. The damn screens meant he couldn’t see his lips, though they were moving so quickly he would probably have had trouble anyway. Well, couldn’t all be winners like Hawkeye, he mused, and popped the new aides in.

“-not to mention non-ripable pants for the Big Guy.” Huh. His voice wasn’t quite so deep, outside the suit. “Who’s your friend?” Stark asked, flicking the screens away. Bit late, but whatever.

“He’s the OWCA liaison, Agent P.”

“OWCA?”

“You know, the whole Danville thing?”

“Christ, is anyone ever going to let us live that down? Those kids were good though, hope they take up my offer on that internship.”

“Benefits of not having superpowers to take.” Hawkeye teased. Stark rolled his eyes.

“I don’t have powers either, dipshit. My suit is more zap proof now, though. So, what’s Agent P - you got something else I can call you? Seems a bit Men in Black.”

“Panda.” he signed, and Clint translated.

“That’s what the P stands for?” he asked, incredulous.

“Your name is Iron Man.” he deadpanned.

“Fair enough. Whatcha’ doing here, Agent Panda?” he asked, a little sing-song, like he was echoing.

“Avoiding my responsibilities.”

Stark laughed at that, long and deep, until his breath couldn’t sustain it any longer.

“I like this guy. OWCA might not be so bad.” he declared, clapping a hand on his shoulder. Peter should have stayed quiet. OWCA did not want to get on the bad side of literal superheroes, and overall it did a lot of good. But it felt wrong, not to forewarn him.

“My boss is a jackass.” He wore a scowl as he said it, his teeth grinding together in frustration. His rage had faded a little, being in Hawkeye’s company, but it was back now, and it burned.

“Oof. We’ve all been there. What’s his particular flavor of jackassery? Let me guess: bad insurance, overworked and underpaid.” Stark commiserated.

“My money’s on non-ADA compliance and subtle but consistent bigotry.” Hawkeye chipped in.

Neither of these accusations were wrong, and it’s not like Peter enjoyed them, but they weren’t the reasons he really hated Monogram enough to tell superheroes about it. He wondered if he should tell them the truth of the matter. Maybe they could actually help.

And honestly? Peter was desperate.

“My...” He paused. He couldn’t call Mystery his nemesis, it was a different term on their level. Part of the reason Peter didn’t pay attention to heroes was the evil that followed them, he didn’t like thinking about the cursed red Nazi still walking around. He was happiest when things were on OWCA’s scale. Preventable, personal, often petty. It was evil still, and the more extreme scientists might even be thrown in jail if schemes turned deadly, but for the most part? OWCA prevented the smart and broken from destroying the world by giving them something to do. With that in mind, the term he did use wasn’t technically a lie.

“My partner disappeared last week. He doesn’t want me looking for him.”

Stark and Hawkeye shared a look, one that conveyed information he wasn’t able to decipher, a wordless (and signless) conversation which ended on agreement.

“Let’s call the Cap.”

------------------------------------------

Everything after that was a bit of a blur, if Peter was honest. Captain America asked for everything he knew about Mystery’s last whereabouts, he told him. It wasn’t as hard as he thought it might be, not mentioning the villainy. Mystery was so closed off even his intentions weren’t obvious to see.

He’s about 70% sure they think Mystery is his lover, which is funny and fucked up and only two degrees away from the truth. There was something kinetic in animosity, similar to sex, and he’s not going to pretend he hasn’t thought about combining the two with Mystery. So many secrets he could unravel under his tongue, his fingers, and he could just kiss him and kiss him and never stop.

Reality wasn’t that kind. Reality was in the forms he finally picked up, another gut-wrenching teleportation, an empty apartment and a vague promise of news that might never come. Reality was insomnia, coffee he had to pour down the drain because one of the few things he did know is how much Mystery loves it, and he’s not here. Reality was tears that didn’t count because his eyes were still closed.

Reality could go fuck itself.

----------------------------------------------

Four months went by, slow as an ocean current, before Hawkeye - civilian name Clint Barton - texted Peter an update that didn’t include some sort of apology. A photo of a rumpled looking man in a mask with the eyes of a cursed spirit, and a caption that killed in understatement. “he’s kind of grumpy, isn’t he?”

“Yes, yes he is.” he texts back, immediate.

“your bf is kinda dumb, you know”

“like brilliant and whatever but also”

“the only reason he disappeared is b/c of some very illegal wormhole manipulation”

“good luck with the charges on that”

“I’ll manage. When can I come and get him?”

“we were just going to drop him off tbh; you don’t have a good history with teleports”

“also wtf i can’t believe you had us calling you panda for months when your name is actually peter”

“aww he’s asking if you saw anyone else while he was gone”

“I mean he said thwart which is a bit of a weird word choice but seattle so who knows”

“No. I’ve been on desk duty this whole time. I got offers, but I refused.”

“double aww I told him what you said and now he’s all flustered”

“anyway meet us in this field in like an hour”

Peter put on his fedora and googles, sent an email about stopping his nemesis, his nemesis, who was back! He followed the coordinates to a park barely inside Seattle city limits, a little squalid, cameras broken or unattended. All the better for SHIELD’s fake secrecy agenda, when four people beam out of the sky. Thor and Hawkeye were holding Mystery steady, while Dr. Banner - Hulk or not the man had doctorates, while Peter had barely survived grad school - looked on with vague concern.

“Don’t you have somewhere better to be, Peter the Panda.” Mystery growled as he righted himself, and oh how he had missed it, the insults, the banter.

“Not at the moment.”

“Peachy. You know, in another dimension, you’re an actual Panda. And you still left me for Doofenshmirtz. Not exactly encouraging.” he accused, moving towards him, one, two steps.

“He’s not a bad night’s call. But you’re my nemesis.”

Mystery’s eyes went wide, and Peter regretted every second he’d spent stepping out, in downplaying how important Mystery was to him, because it was so obvious in his retrospect.

“You mean that?” he asked, a tremor muffled under fabric. When Peter nodded, the distance between them disappeared, the knife glinted against his throat.

“Very well, Peter the Panda. I will take great joy on obliterating you and bringing havoc upon the entire Pacific Northwest,” He pulled away and smirked. “Tomorrow afternoon. Don’t be late.” With that, he strode off into the depths of the greater Seattle area.

“Did we just rescue a super villain?” Hawkeye asked, blinking furiously.

“OWCA business. Don’t worry, he’s mine.”

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survivormontenegro · 5 years

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Episode 15 (Finale): “I COULD LITERALLY WIN A TUMBLR SURVIVOR SEASON WHAT IS THIS LIFE” - Ali

Did that vote make me a villain? Cuz I don't think I can avoid that anymore. But did it screw my chances of winning? Did it add to my resume? Did it make sense? Who do I work with next? Do people understand that Ali is gonna win this game? Is Ali gonna win another immunity challenge? Can I get him voted off or is it smarter to get him to vote with me, because its Benj and I and we need one more. I have more questions after last night than I started, but knowing that Benj was going to vote Jones I didn't think I had much of a choice.

JONES WHEN U SEE THIS ILY IM SO SORRY :((((((

youtube

breakdown.

Seamus enjoyed seeing me suffer with maths and black rotating puzzle

Ok so Ali won immunity so cant use idol on himself so im in the F4 hehe (unless hes seriously been playing me this entire time LMAO)

My 0 votes will prob be ruined tho but oh well still a huge improvement from 20 in kili

honestly think im losing in any F3 scenario ugh im gonna be a 2 time ftc loser LOL kinda iconic tho

regardless this has been one of the most fun games ive ever played hehe

I am trying my best to stay safe this round. I think it would be crazy for them to let me make it to F4, not that I think I am gonna win, but the momentum is definitely with Ali, Tom, and Jason, and I seem like the logical vote.

With that, there are some things I would like to say about the game. I'm actually pretty proud of the way I played. I know it wasn't the most graceful, or the most honest or loyal. I votes out Alex when he really trusted me. I flopped on Jules to win my way back in with that side. I stuck by Mo, but ultimately let him go when I had no choice, and then I did the same thing but more dramatically with Jones. I helped idol out the power player Mitch, but my strongest attribute was creating tight relationships with people who always felt they need to get that extra vote, Tom, Ali, Benj, Alex, Jones, Mo. The closeness has always made me less of a target, I hope not because they think I'm not a threat, but rather because they think I might be that swing vote for them. I feel like I have largely been the only one to make real decisions in this game except for Mitch, because Benj followed whoever told him to vote what, and Tom and Jason only make decisions because they just need to target whoever targets them. Ali and I are suppose to be in a secret bond, but the only time we vote together is when I switch and vote with him (Alex and Jones). I was the flip vote with Jason on Jules. I helped make the decision to vote out Mitch. I told Ali that I think it needs to be Jason this time. If I make it through this that would be soooo freakin fun. If I don't I worked my magic to try to get the target off of me, and so far I think the vote is Jason v Benj (sorry Benj that I had to convince Jason that I could work with him in the case that he idols). The biggest kink to that game is Ali winning those immunities, because truly I think the F5 would have been so different. Him winning rn changes everything and I can truly see the chinks in my strategy and gameplay now. I'm a mess, but I'm a calculating emotional mess, so hey points for me right?

okay so Jason left, which is really good news. He was clearly a major threat, and I acheived my goal (admittedly with no contribution to Mitch going) of Mitch, Jones & Jason being three boots in order.

So I'm in the final four with Caeleb, Benj and Tom. AND TOM IS NOW TARGETTING ME THAT MUPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPET. I saw this coming, I knew he would, he thinks he is gonna pull a fast one on me, but little does he know Benj is the KINGEST KING, and we've been allies since the first round.

So I really REALLY wanna win final four immunity, because it might be the Final Immunity and I am cautiously optimistic that if I can just make FTC, I can win this whole thing. If I win immunity, I'm voting out Caeleb with Benj and Tom, who will... kicking and screaming have to vote with me ajkdslfa.

I think no matter what, I'll be able to go to firemaking this round at worst, since I think Benj is firmly in my corner. And I've been dominant in challenges thus far, and could hopefully continue to do so? We will see ahh.

I just desperately want to win immunity this round, because then I can vote Caeleb out and drag Tom to F3. mwahahahahahahahahahaha. HE WILL HAVE TO SIT WITH ME IN A FINAL THREE, like it or not!

I'm literally so close to FTC this is gonna drive me insane. If its a F3, I think I'm literally a challenge away from winning this season, I could truly SCREAM hnnnnnnnnnngh.

youtube

There's so much riding on this next immunity challenge. Like so much. And i just realized that I have no won immunity since Merge and everyone else left has, so umm here's hoping.

I WON FINAL IMMUNITY OH MY GOD. i literally.. my heart was pump pumping so fast, when Caeleb won the first two rounds I literally was gonna throw up/throw something/throw a fit.

But HNNNGH I won (and I filmed my reaction, which I'll upload), and I need to vote off Caeleb in my opinion. Benj is a king, but he hasn't done as much as me in this game, and Tom is solidly getting third place I think at this stage, so I think I have a great shot.

IM SO CLOSE ASKLDFAF. I COULD LITERALLY WIN A TUMBLR SURVIVOR SEASON WHAT IS THIS LIFE.

I know that this game is an emotional mess. And HELL I have been an emotional mess. But this I think is the first time that I'm actually angry. 6 immunity wins? Are you fucking kidding me? What the hell? I coulda made it to FTC, and like I'm not done yet I'll keep fighting so hopefully I can make it. But in normal circumstances I would be there. I just. Am so. Livid. There's no strategy involved when you can't vote someone out consistently. Now I have to fight tooth and nail just to have a shot and go against the freakin contender to win. Like its so disheartening, and Ali is a sweet guy sure, but he hasn't even made half the moves I have. His biggest move and most unexpected? Voting out Julia. If I get my chance to make it to FTC I'll have a lot to say, but I don't think its looking up for me at this point.

youtube

this is the worst video i've ever filmed nobody watch this

I CANT BELIEVE I MADE F3 AGAIN!!!!!

WOWOWOWOW

and with Ali our day 1 duo actually did it WTF?

Tom king too the anzacs made it

I know im losing but its been SO FUN!!

Good memories only

Okay so... FTC was yesterday, and I kind of want to do a final wrap up confessional, just to kind of bring some personal closure.

So it seems unless a lot shifts, that I am decisively going to win this game. I'm so unbelievably excited, I've literally only ever come second in survivor games, so to have finally snatched the win genuinely means a lot. It shows me that 2019 truly has been a year of real emotional growth for me, and the personal roadblocks I've put in front of myself that have cost me games in the past, have been lifted and I have my act together much much more.

FTC was... just such a weird experience yesterday, I always get dragged at FTCs, particularly live ones. I've only done two ever (Athena: All Stars and BB Pokemon: Orre) and both times, not a single juror spoke positively about my game that was present. To have jurors come on, and say that I unequivocally played the best was such a bizarre experience, but I love all the jurors so much and their high estimation of me is genuinely so flattering.

With that said, FTC was also a really rough experience. I love Benj and Tom with my full heart, and watching Tom get relentlessly told he was rude was tricky because I know how good of a guy he really is, and how well he meant with everyone. Benj was rough because... it seems I just outplayed him, and him mentioning our duo in his opening statement when I didn't at all... was really rough because I felt partly at fault for his dragging. I just love both of them, so it was hard.

I also feel bad for what I was like in confessionals this season, from memory at some point, I went in on JJ, Mo and Caeleb in confessionals, and while I apologised for all, I still feel awful that I let myself get so worked up in this game to sort of snap at them? Like Mo is a genuine friend of mine, so the fact that he wrote like... a sentence and I got so pressed is really stupid, I love Mo so much and hope I can make it up to him. Caeleb I got so mad at after the Jones' idol play for literally no reason... like he outplayed me that round, and its so pathetic that I got mad at him for that. I think Caeleb played a PHENOMENAL game, and did so well.

If I had to predict the POTS of the season, I would say my top three would be Jones, Caeleb and Mitch. Jones is... Jones, she is so likable and has such charisma and hold over people, and her idol play was arguably the most impressive move of the season. Caeleb was someone I underestimated to such at the start of merge, but he played such an impressive middle game, and would've had my vote if I was voted out at F3. Mitch it sounds like was hated by the jury, but I think he played amazingly? Like he has been a target since F20, his name was thrown out so many times, and I just think he did so good? I lowkey think he would be my player of the season to be honest.

I wanna talk about the other jurors particularly that I haven't really referenced in this. Alex is someone I somehow feel most guilty about voting out? He is just such a genuinely good guy, and I think I had this preconceived notion of him as like a gamebot, when he is just so wholesome, I can't wait for him to return, and make single digits. scratch that, I can't wait for him to return and WIN.

I also wanna talk about Jules. I am such a Jules warrior? Like... such a Jules warrior? They were such a pleasure to work with, and I just love them so much. I did them dirty by not idoling them/telling them they were going, but they are someone I have SO much time, love and respect for.

Who else, omg JASON! He was the perfect final juror for yesterday's FTC, someone who went easy on Tom who needed that, and just... is such a wholesome good guy, I love Jason.

Anyway, this is already really, really long so I need to wrap this up. I just want to say how happy this season has made me, and how much of a pleasure its been apart of. I joined the ORG community right before a lot of messy personal stuff came my way, and a lot of my org memories are tied to that. I used to let my personal drama get itself interwoven in my games, and I would just be so emotional. To have a game where I could play hard, cracked and WELL, and just have fun has been such a pleasure, and Im so emo about it.

I just wanna thank the hosts again too, I literally am a full on Asya, Drew, Johnny and Seamus WARRIOR, I love all four of them for hosting my favourite org experience EVER, its been amazing. I've been such a crackhead, was the only OG Budva Tumblr Survior newbie to make merge, spammed my host chat with an unbelievable number of messages, been AWFUL at the bridge idol hunt system yet ended up with two idols, been a crackhead (bears repeating because of how much of a mess i was), its been... a time KLADSF

But yes. I just have had a phenomenal time, crackheads are gonna crackhead and this brit is joining the tumblr survivor royal family, and I truly could not be more excited.

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