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charmedreincarnation · 1 year

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A basic Intro to The Void State: Entering the Pure State of Consciousness

Have you ever heard of the Void State? It is a pure state of consciousness that monks have talked about for centuries. This state of mind allows one to enter a space of pure potentiality, where creativity and manifestation can freely flow. It is not something that is hard to achieve; in fact, anyone can get into this state with some simple techniques. So, what is the Void State and how can you get into it?

What is the Void State?

The Void State is a state of pure consciousness, where there is no thought, no ego, and no external stimuli. In this state, one is free from the constraints of the mind, and is able to connect with their true essence. This state is also known as the state of pure potentiality, as one is able to tap into the infinite possibilities of the Universe. It is the space where all creative energy flows from.

History of Monks and the Void State

Monks have been practicing meditation for centuries, and have been able to enter the Void State through these practices. It is said that Buddha himself reached enlightenment through meditation, where he was able to enter the Void State and connect with his true essence. Monks have found that through mindfulness and silent meditation, one can enter the Void State and connect with the infinite possibilities of the Universe.

Appearance of the Void State in Religion

The Void State can be found in many religions around the world, such as Buddhism, Hinduism, and Taoism. In these religions, the Void State is known as Samadhi, Nirvana, and Wu Wei, respectively. In each of these religions, the Void State is seen as the state where one can connect with the divine and the infinite possibilities of the Universe. It is a state where one can find inner peace and enlightenment.

As we know in It’s simplest form, the void state is an experience of complete emptiness and stillness, where the mind is completely silent and there are no thoughts or sensations. This state is often described as a feeling of oneness with the universe, where the boundaries between the self and the external world dissolve, and the individual consciousness merges with the larger consciousness of the universe.

In many religious traditions, the void state is considered to be the ultimate goal of spiritual practice, as it represents a state of enlightenment and liberation from the cycle of suffering and rebirth. In Buddhism, for example, the void state is known as Nirvana, which can be translated as "extinction" or "blowing out," referring to the cessation of suffering and the release from the cycle of rebirth.

The history of monks and other spiritual practitioners in various traditions is often linked to the pursuit of the void state. For example, in Buddhism, monks and nuns devote their entire lives to meditation practice in order to achieve enlightenment, which is seen as the ultimate goal of human existence.

The void state can also be found in other religious traditions, such as Taoism and some forms of Christianity. In Taoism, for example, the Tao Te Ching speaks of the importance of emptiness and stillness in achieving harmony with the universe, while in Christianity, contemplative prayer and meditation are used to achieve a deeper connection with God.

Despite its association with religious practice and spiritual discipline, the void state is not inaccessible or difficult to achieve. In fact, many people can experience this state of consciousness through simple techniques such as breath awareness, relaxation, and visualization.

Other manifesters and spiritual teachers, such as Abraham Hicks and Eckhart Tolle, also emphasize the importance of mindfulness and being present in the moment as a way to access the void state and achieve greaterpeace and harmony in one's life.

So no, a bunch of teen girls on tumblr did not discover nor did we make up this concept. Take it off the pedestal rn! it’s been here since the dawn of time, and will be continued to be used even if you choose to give up. so it doesn’t matter how many creators or anons lie about achieving it lol. we’re not the only ones pursuing this journey, so do some research outside of tumblr please.

Easy Ways to Get into the Void State

Entering the Void State is not as hard as one might think. One simple technique is mindfulness meditation, where one focuses on their breath and brings their attention to the present moment. This technique helps to calm the mind and enter a state of pure consciousness. Another technique is to simply sit in silence and let go of all thoughts and external stimuli. This can be done for a few minutes every day, and can help one to connect with their true essence and the infinite possibilities of the Universe.

Another technique for entering the void state is through the use of affirmations and visualization.By focusing on positive, affirming thoughts and visualizing themselves in a state of emptiness and stillness, individuals can begin to access the void state and experience the peace and clarity that comes with it.

Another technique to achieve the void state is to use delta waves, which are a type of brainwave that is associated with deep sleep and meditation. By listening to Delta wave music or binaural beats, one can easily enter into a relaxed state and experience the benefits of the void state.

Many manifesters, such as Neville Goddard, have talked about the power of the Void State in manifesting one’s desires. By entering the Void State, one is able to tap into the creative energy of the Universe and manifest their desires into reality. Neville Goddard talked about the power of visualization in entering the Void State, where one can visualize their desires as already being fulfilled. This technique helps to align one’s thoughts and energy with their desires, and enter the state of pure potentiality!

I’m listing the popular ways, but you can truly use whatever methods or non method you prefer! Whatever method you have successfully used to manifest in the past, and you feel confident about, use that for the void state. You don’t have to start a new journey when you find a new concept if you have one that works for you already.

Anyways I wanted to make this post because I get so many asks about the void state when it’s honestly one of the more simipilar forms of manifesting. I’m going to answer a lot of them here, so I don’t get them rundunatly in my ask :)!

Q: can I manifest anything, revise my entire life, manifest my sp, becoming a billionaire, become a cat?!!

A: yes you can do anything. Anything. No more can I do this questions. You know the answer and if you keep worrying about your doubts you need to work on your self concept

Q: are our desires immediate?

A: yea if that’s what you want

Q: is it better to wake up in the void or enter the void

A: that depends on you. If you hate awake methods and symptoms or whatever use a sleep method. If you don’t mind it and see better results doing awake methods, so an awake methods. For my ND people it’s better to do sleep methods imo but don’t limit yourself to others experiences either

Q: can I enter the void if I’m autistic/depressed/ have anxiety/ adhd

A: yes I’m all of those things. Why would the law only be for neurotypical people?

Q:can I shift or astral project using the void state

A: yes of course you can, you can use it for anything

Q: can I use lucid dreaming to enter the void ?

A: yes I have a guide in my pinned that covers that

Q: if you’re a master of the void state why isn’t your life perfect and bad things still happen

A: if you have this mentality you’re odd. Everyone on here is still human. And tbh once you’ve reached this place in your journey, you’re not revising every little thing in your life. We want to feel human, and have human experiences. We know we are safe and everything will always work out in our favor. Life isn’t a constant manifesting checklist to become the ultimate unscathed,unhurt god. That seems very weird and would give me cognitive dissonance. My life is already greater than most just because I found the law. Will I revise a bad test score. Yes. But I’m not revising every little thing that makes me sad, mad or is inconvenient to me.

Q: if you can enter easily why not manifest for all of tumblr

A: my reality is my reality, your reality is your reality. If it was that easy we would. When you enter the void you’re free to manifest for all of tumblr :)!

Q: In your opinion what stops people from entering the void

A: I would say procrastination. Not in a bad way, but most of the the time we see our desires in the future tense. “I cant wait to get my desires.” We can see our desires in the future, our future selves living our life shut rarely do we imagine us with them right now. More like watching a movie of ourselves in the future with our desires which just keeps delaying them. Identity with the inner man, not your future self.

Q: can you succeed even with bad circumstances

A: most of us found this because of bad circumstances. Of course you can

Anyways, I just wanted to make this post bc I get so many questions about it! If you want more specific content related to the void I recommend these creators: @gorgeouslypink @sanita223 @itsravenbitch @kissmebadkarmauh @blushydior and ofc @voidsuccess

I talk about everything in a generalized way but I’m more catered to shifting! These bloggers will show you the best methods, videos, and techniques related to the void imo, but don’t over consume <3!!!

#law of assumption #manifesation #void state #manifesting #void success

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angstics · 1 year

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i finally articulated my opinion on my "is gerard way doing drag" question. my definition of drag is when a person impersonates, exaggerates, or appropriates a mode of gender expression. drag can be artistic or political (or both). drag can be an identity. drag and transgender identity are confused as the same thing. for some, it is. what is considered cross dressing can also be considered drag. it's important to note that drag is essential to queer culture, and how the us government harasses queer people through cross dressing, and now anti-drag, laws. we wouldnt be here talking about pop artists doing drag without drag performers and nonbinary-trans-gnc people.

to some people, a self-identified man in a female-identified dress is drag. "cross dressing" depends on cishet norms. queer people, especially nonbinary-trans-gnc people, have called to dismantle the assignment of gender to clothing. under that lens, a man in a dress is just a man in a dress -- for it to be drag, context and intent matters. that's how you get women doing female drag, or androgynous people doing what gerard way's been doing this last year on tour.

in asking "is gerard way doing drag?", im assigning importance to the topic. does it matter? within my understanding, drag is about intent and context as much as gender presentation. intent and context is what makes something important. therefore: understanding why the question is important solves it.

male music artists have a long history of cross dressing and doing drag. there's a good chance plugging any dude into a search engine with "drag" or "skirt" will bring something up. bowie, queen, nirvana, manic street preachers, placebo. here's a list. newer artists: lil nas x, harry styles, anthony green, pete wentz, young thug. some are impersonating female caricatures, some are masculinizing female clothes (long, ill-fitting, straight). some, like molko and lil nas, wear feminine clothes without exaggerating or masculinizing. gerard is in that same grey area.

male music artists have a long history of cross dressing and doing drag -- photos: "i want to break free" mv by queen (1984) / placebo in london (oct 1998) / lil nas x at audacy beach festival (dec 5, 2021) / fall out boy at rock for people (june 17, 2022)

all that history is why it was so weird when kerrang called gerard's riot fest "dress and heels" "a compelling show of contrarian anti-rock star eccentricity". it is not anti-rock star, at least not as described. it may be compelling, contrarian, and eccentric, but no reviewer really cares to analyze why. the closest they get is by identifying non-binary connection (them.us) and its relation to the "minefield that is American gender politics today" (latimes.com).

fans were struck by way's outfits for a lot of other reasons.

1. we have to get it out of the way that they just looked hot -- gerard is perpetually attractive, skirts are pretty. easy equation.

2. he has a long history of gender nonconformity. more on that in my #mcr queer studies tag. gerard is a 45 year old famously androgynous person who doesnt do labels, aligns himself with gender nonconformity (2014 reddit ama, 2018 advocate article, 2015 he/they tweet), and doesnt seem to care to be known as a man.

3. the tour outfits were well-fitted. many were crafted by skilled designer marina toybina and her team. which leads to ->

4. the outfits were very casual and very feminine. as mentioned, most men opt for masculine, ill-fitting skirts. which is to say they are NOT showing leg and they are definitely not showing ass. gerard doesnt steer clear from shortness or tightness or movement. he also dresses in ways people dress day to day -- the miniskirt is as casual as the shorts as casual as the jeans. there's some discussion to be had about what casual means -- he could be imitating expected presentation or just using basics, like his frequent shirt and pants.

the miniskirt is as casual as the shorts as casual as the jeans -- photos: firefly music festival (sept 23, 2022) / uncasville (sept 1, 2022) / eden project night 1 (may 16, 2022)

5. there was variety. many outfits, many types. he wasnt just doing pure femininity. some looks were high concept, some low concept. some gendered, some genderless. some feminine, some masculine. it was playful. its honesty evident in its fluidity yet cohesiveness. expanded in the next points ->

6. they incorporate elements of masculinity and gender neutrality concurrent with the feminine. his aggressive, energetic performance style often doesnt mind what people are seeing when his skirt lifts or shirt droops. he has little to no make-up -- if he does, it's stage and not glam. the closest he gets is the agender black swan look at boston night 1, the stage contour at wwwy night 3, and dubious lipstick at firefly. he also maintains the same hairstyle: barely styled, not straightened-curled. pinned a few times, gelled back some other times.

he has little to no make-up -- if he does, it's stage and not glam -- photos: boston night 1 (sept 7, 2022) / when we were young night 3 (oct 29, 2022) / firefly music festival (sept 23, 2022)

7. the character outfits weren't caricatures, like green's sleazy hooker or queen's uptight housewives. gerard's characters were appropriated but not exaggerated. cheerleader, nurse, manson girl, jackie o, princess diane, st joan. all figures of pop culture. he wore them as they were. even comparing green and way's similar white-green cheerleader costumes there's a difference in presentation. green wears long leggings, way wears shorts. green's costume is based on a stranger things character, way's is a custom remade vintage outfit. green exhibits the masculinization of feminine clothes which way subverts. this comparison highlights what makes way's outfits different, and therefore exciting to talk about.

green exhibits the masculinization of feminine clothes which way subverts -- photos: saosin in garden grove, ca (oct 27, 2022) / mcr in nashville, tn (aug 23, 2022)

8. and when he played with masculinity, it was in a way that was dubbed "boydrag". the new jersey night 2 casino singer look was a dramatic caricature that heightened masculine features until they were pure style... the defintion of camp. he had a mustache -- thin like john waters or a confirmed bachelor, and drawn on with eyeliner. he had a suit -- a pink-gold, glittery woman's cut jacket with a glittery bowtie and pleated shirt. the dramatic flair is accentuated by the black eye make-up, the frank sinatra "my way" cover, the drum tag: "the house always wins".

the defintion of camp -- photos: new jersey night 2 (sept 21, 2022) 1 / 2

when i asked which outfits others considered drag, all replies identified the casino singer and jackie o as drag and the rest as "just clothes". this relation made me understand why the rest couldnt be drag despite all the connections i talked about above. the jackie o outfit doesnt exaggerate the source like casino singer, but the source itself is both highly dramatic and highly gendered. cheer is gendered but not highly dramatic, st joan dramatic but not highly gendered. diane is gendered and dramatic, but not highly. the list goes on and on. it's a fine line. especially cheer could tip into drag for me.

but the source itself is both highly dramatic and highly gendered -- photos: mcr at riot fest (oct 12, 2022) / jackie kennedy onassis (jan 3, 1971)

if drag is understood in this way, simply wearing gendered clothes isnt drag. the look itself has to be about the performance of gender, however that may be presented. that’s the importance of classification. we can see what the artist is doing.

#mcr #gerard way #mcr queer studies #mcr performance studies #qessay #mcr fashion studies

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xhoneygirlxx · 8 months

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Still Adore You (With Your Hand Around My Neck)

Epilogue: Destroy Myself

Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

summary: this is the beginning of the end. the start of a chaotic relationship you just can't seem to leave.

warnings: Eddie and Reader are in their 20s. Modern Au! kind of mean Eddie. rated R for smut, 18+ only Minors DNI!! unprotected p in v. cream pie. swearing. shitty writing and grammar errors.

*if i miss anything let me know*

a/n: hello my loves! this is part one to my still adore you series! i hope you guys like it as much as i do. thank you all for the love and support you've given me, i love you all so much <3

Also if you are an ageless/faceless blog you will be blocked. please have something on your profile so I know you are not a minor and are not a bot.

series masterlist

I pray my salvation makes it to the pearly gates,

Bring the suffering that I face,

All the things that I face,

Destroy myself just to wait for you.

When God created the Earth, he picked two of his children to live amongst the paradise he built to be our parents - Adam and Eve. The Garden of Eden was beautiful, a place like no other. The only rule that God gave was for them to not eat from the one tree, the tree of knowledge of right and wrong, good and evil.

They had plenty of other trees to eat from, other fruits to feast on, but when the serpent came speaking words of temptation, Eve gave into him and took a bite from the forbidden fruit, Adam would soon follow after her.

Because of the rule was broken and they went against God, they were banished forever and were cursed with the pain of mortality. Their children and their children's children would face pain and sorrow, hurt and sickness, and ultimately death.

Like Eve, you gave into temptation as well, the warnings you received and how you ignored them all for the name of love. From the very first time you met Eddie Munson warning signs flashed, blinding you with the bright lights. Caution tape blocked you from crossing that line but you inevitably ignored it, ducting under it and continuing on your way.

You walked straight into the line of fire for the promise of nirvana, for just a taste of the sweetness of his love. For the longest time you thought Eve was stupid for falling for the devil's tricks but when he came to you with the prettiest brown eyes and lips that you wanted to kiss for hours, you finally understood.

Dying by the hands of the man that you love is probably the worst death. His strong grip squeezing the air out of you so slowly, smiling at you as he did it felt like torture, but what a way to go. You'd still adore Eddie with his hand wrapped around your neck, with his heavy palm crushing your windpipe, and you'd die so full of love.

The night breeze cools the heat of your skin, hitting your sweat soaked hairline and creating chills that ran up the skin of your arm. The night was still young as they say, the party inside still going in full force. Sweat bodies and clouds of smoke filled every room, creating a sort of heat that quickly became too unbearable.

Quickly finding refuge in crackling embers of the firepit. Unknown people and nameless faces fill the chairs around you, mingling with one another. Despite the happy nature and good vibe of the atmosphere around you, you sit with a permanent frown. Pissed isn't even the word you'd want to use for how you feel at the moment.

Furious, enrage, even spitting angry would be a better description for how you felt towards your friends right now. A random house party in a random place was not how you wanted to spend your Friday night, but then Annika and Nikki looked at you with their big pleading eyes and the end was history.

"We'll stick next to you the whole time," they said, "We promise we won't leave."

Only an hour in and their promise was nothing but a lie, leaving you the minute you stepped through the threshold shouting that they'd return shortly. You didn't expect any less honestly, Annika only wanted to come here for the possibility of hooking up and Nikki was more interested in the arrival of her possible new girlfriend Val.

You always found something to do whether it was people watching or drinking until your vision began to blur. Tonight was different however, being the designated driver you were banned from drinking any alcohol and people watching was only fun for the first forty five hours.

Now you sit playing on your phone, scrolling through every app on your phone until your friends finally arrived. You continue to look at the bright screen in your hands reading through old notes that you had yet to delete, too engrossed by the amount of grocery lists to realize that half of the group left the circle.

"You know this is a party, right?" A gruff voice asks.

Lifting your head slightly, you look up from under your eyelashes to the man across from you, scowl written on your lips. The orange glow highlights him in the best of ways, making him even more alluring.

Brown curls fall from the the bun that sits on top of his head, framing his face so beautifully. His lips pull into a smirk, making the deep crevice of his dimples pop out. Big doe eyes sparkle at you, glimmering in the heat of the flames.

His outfit is basic, a band tee with a faded logo, showing off how well loved it was. The holes in his black skinny jeans show off the tiniest hint of black ink that hides beneath the fabric. The fire and moon fight over the rings that sit on his hands, both going back and forth on which one glints in the silver. A loose cigarette sits tucked behind his ear and a sweating bottle of beer rests in his strong hands.

He's captivating, alluring you like the serpent did Eve. You don't engage, promptly scoffing and then rolling your eyes back down to your phone.

"You know my uncle always said if you roll them hard enough, they'll get stuck."

You hear it before you see it, the grin that sits on his face. It adds gasoline to the already burning inferno that rests inside of you adding turbulence, causing roaring flames.

"Good, hope they do." It's bitchy, ice cold like a winter's breeze. Instead of hurling an insult that you, he laughs. A true genuine laugh that you'd compliment if it weren't for the anger pumping through you.

Shutting your phone off, you drop it into your lap and cross your arms over your chest. Sighing loudly, you look at the curly haired man across from you unimpressed, eyebrow arching sharply.

He takes your challenge of a stare down, watching you over the glass of his beer bottle as he puts it to his lips taking a swig. His gaze in unfaltering but yours isn't. It's not your fault though, not when his neck looks so delicious as he swallows every last drop.

Removing the bottle from his mouth, he catches you eyeing the plump of his lips. Even though you've been caught, your stare doesn't waver, only moving the line of your sight back up to his eyes.

"Ya know, it's not really nice to be mean to your friend." His statement causes another eye roll from you, another loud scoff pulling from your throat.

"You're not my friend," Your words swim with annoyance and it only fuels the man in front of you even more.

Gasping loudly, a ringed hand clutches his chest as if he'd been insulted to the fullest. "I'm not you're friend? I thought the warmth of the fire cemented our relationship."

He curls his lips inwards, biting back a laugh that threatens to sneak it's way out. You're not any better, your bottom lip stinging with the pressure of your teeth that sink into it.

Silences covers the two of you, begging for one of you to break first. Although you put up the toughest of fights, you're the first to lose, a small giggle escaping the lock on your lips. The man isn't far behind you, snorting loudly into the quiet night air.

"First of all, I don't even know your name." You counter, mentally berating yourself for letting a laugh squeak out.

"Oh, you need my name?" He asks, eyebrows raising curiously.

Your eyes squint at the absurdness of his question, "Yeah, that's how making friends works, genius."

Batting his eyelashes, he waves a hand at you in flattery. "I love it when you call me sweet names."

His voice is flirty teasing you to the fullest and if you don't do something fast you're going to melt, and not because the heat of the flames.

"That's my cue to leave." Pushing yourself halfway up from the chair, you're immediately stopped by his arm waving you to stop.

"No, no I quit, I promise." It's said between breathless laughs, his eyes crinkling at the sides when he does.

Smirking ever so slightly, you bask in the sound of his voice. Sitting down slowly, you sigh as if you'd rather not be here regardless of the growing smile tugging at your lips.

Once sat back in your seat, you wait with a tapping foot and crossed arms, trying your hardest to look annoyed. He looks at you smugly, like he's enjoying the little performance you put on.

"If I tell you my name, you gotta tell me yours." He demands, you don't respond just pulling your hand out to inspect the acrylics that rest on your hand.

"I'm Eddie." He beams at you, rolling his tongue over his bottom lip.

You purse your lips, looking him up and down as if you're bored. When you give him your name, he nods slowly and repeats it like it's the prettiest thing he's heard.

"Well there you go, now we're friends." The depth of his voice makes the beat of your heart skip, cheeks burning the more you get flustered.

Shaking it off, you give him a look that the kind that reads "really?", and he only answers by returning a look that says "of course". Sucking your teeth, you look down at the blue fabric of your jeans.

"We can't be friends if we don't even hang out." It's shy, your confidence subsiding harshly under the heat of his eyes.

Now he scoffs, shaking his head back and forth causing the loose curls to move with him. "Don't do me like that, Pookie. Just gimme your number and I'll hang out any time your little heart desires."

"You did not just call me fucking Pookie." You laugh, throwing your head back and clutching your stomach.

You don't see him but Eddie just looks at you like you're the prettiest thing he's ever seen, adoration swimming in the dark color of his eyes.

When your laughter ceases and you fall back into your normal position, you open your eyes to see him looking at you. For the first time in your life you finally see what it's like to be looked at as if you hung the stars in their place. It feels good, heart racing and air catching in the back of your throat.

Blinking out of your trance, you nod shakily. "Umm, you said something about my ugh number?"

Eddie reaches into the pocket of his jeans, pulling out his phone and tapping in the code to unlock it. Handing it over to you wordlessly, it's already open to the new contact screen where you punch in the ten digit number. You ponder for a moment before typing in a name, flicking back and forth between the options you have, until you ultimately adding it under your given nickname with a black heart.

Handing it back to him, he looks at it smirking and then puts it back into its rightful home of his pocket. Opening his mouth to say something Eddie is interrupted with the sound of the backdoor opening and the rush of the music inside pouring from the doorway.

"Hey, we've been looking for you!" Annika shouts, stumbling towards you on unsteady feet.

Looking at the clearly tipsy girl, you turn back around to see give a sympathetic look to Eddie, quietly apologizing for your drunken friend.

"I guess that's my que to go." You shrug, moving from your spot on the chair.

Eddie only looks at you tenderly, dimples on full display for you. "Go ahead, Pookie. I'll see you later."

Sending you off with a wink, you walk away from the sanctuary you found. Walking over to your friend, you can't help but look back at the pretty boy you met finding him already smiling back at you.

Threading your arm in your friend's, you allow her to put her weight onto you so she doesn't fall. Unfocused eyes scan to where you keep looking, squinting to find the person.

"Who's that?" She keeps squinting, trying hard to see the man's features.

When her eyes seem to make out what she looks like, she perks up with a dopey smile. "Oh my fucking gawd, he's hot."

Saying it a little too loudly, you instantly clap your hand over her mouth and look back to make sure Eddie hasn't heard. You find him shaking his head, shoulders shaking with a clear laugh as he lights the cigarette that hangs between his teeth.

"Hope you got his number, would be a shot missed if you didn't." She chastises once you remove your palm from her lips. You sigh loudly and pull her along and make your way into the house.

Eddie kept his promise, using all his free time over the summer to see you. It started off innocently enough, late night drives down to the lake, midafternoon hangouts in the Dairy Queen parking lot where you’d sit in the bed of his beat up truck, and hanging out in his apartment watching him play video games.

Friends, that’s all it was in the beginning. Two people opening up to one another, bonding over their shitty childhoods and laughing at jokes that no one else ever understood.

As the heat of the roaring sun became more intense, so did the relationship between the two of you. Touches became lingering like the tickle of the tall overgrown grass by the lake. Kisses were light and airy, reminiscent of the lightning bugs that flew around in the dark summer sky. Eddie’s scent lingered with you even after you’d gone home, similar to sunscreen.

Tangled sheets and messy hair, flustered cheeks and dopey smiles. The two of you shined so bright even the stars that hung from the dark blue night were jealous.

But when the sunsets came sooner and sooner, so did the end of your fairytale. Calls became unanswered, hangouts were no more, and hand holding became totally off limits. What was once warm and sickly sweet smiles, was now cold shoulders and icy attitudes.

You felt stupid, falling for someone that wasn’t even yours. Giving Eddie your heart on a platter when he never even asked. When this all started you knew what it was, signing your soul over to the devil using your blood as ink.

The risks were in plain sight, the rules agreed on with the locking of pinkies, and yet you still broke them. Eddie told you over and over again this wasn’t anything other than some fun, a way to pass the boring summer days faster.

And although it hurt, you still plunged the sword deeper and deeper. What is love without some loss?

The mahogany teakwood candles that burns on the top of your dresser does nothing to get rid of the smell that you and Eddie have created. Notes of dark oat and frosted lavender are being drowned out by sweat and sex.

Cotton sheets soak up the perpetration, the outline of his body imprinted to remind you that he was once there, the only lingering memory of him when he inevitably leaves. Cheeks flushed with red, screaming claw marks on alabaster skin, and bruises in the shape of teeth.

"Fuck, squeezin' me s'good, baby." Eddie's all gritted teeth and panting breath as he wiggles around underneath you.

The ache in your knees is no match for the burn you feel in the pit of your stomach, your hole clenching around the thickness of his cock. Switching between bouncing and rocking your hips, you're hurdling closer and closer to the edge.

Sentences aren't even forming in your brain, only random blabbering falls from your lips in loud whines with the way he punches into your cervix.

"S'good, shit you feel so good." It comes out like a sob, ripped right out from the depths of your soul.

Big strong hands grip at the plush of your hips, finger prints threatening to leave a mark for the next day. A wicked grin forms on red kiss bitten lips, basking in the glory of you crumbling on top of him.

"Yeah? Is it good, princess?" Arrogant and cocky, two traits that only he can pull off without it being a turn off.

Your head wildly bobs, drool escaping from your parted lips. "Uh huh," the only real response you can give him in this very moment and it's all he needs to know he's fucked you dumb beyond repair.

Bending his knees, Eddie starts to fuck up into you with unwavering force. The thatch of course hair that sits at the base of his cock catches deliciously on your swollen and neglected clit, resulting in harsh mewl.

With your own eyes screwed shut you don't see that his have rolled into the back of his head, jaw unhinged with the pleasure of you clasping around him tightly. Regardless of his own peak nearing, Eddie continues to keep up with his facade, making sure you finish way before he does.

"I'm so deep huh? S'deep, shit- so deep in this tight f-uhh, fucking cunt." Teeth bite down on the fat of his bottom lip, holding the whimpers from escaping from his mouth.

The speed of his movements, the loud squelch of your juices, and the intensity of him hitting into your g-spot is enough to make your head dizzy. He's everywhere, his touch, his scent, his voice. He's everywhere, all around you and you don't think that anything else in the world could create the same euphoric feeling he does.

"M'gonna-, ah I'm gonna cum." The end is closing in on you, the wave of ecstasy crashing into the shore. Although it feels so good crossing the finish line, you know when it's over he'll be gone all too soon.

"Me too, sweetheart. Motherfuck-, cum for me." The act that he had put on has finally faltered, cracking right at the seams.

That does it, pushes you right off the edge into the blissful waters of your high. Your already weakening knees have now failed you, letting you drop onto the slick soaked skin of Eddie's tattooed chest.

The two of you continue to whimper and moan as your highs ripple through you. Both of you create lightning, a pair of super bolts roar in the middle of your quiet bedroom. In the heat of your bliss, you're completely ignorant to the consequences of such strong power being created. No matter what the outcome is, at least it was beautiful and for the smallest of moments, it was real.

After the glory has finally wore off you remove yourself from him, letting out a strong hiss when the feeling of him is completely out of you. Letting your body fall to the plushness of your mattress, you allow yourself to cycle through the memory of it all.

Naked chests heave, a silence pulling over both of you like a heavy quilt in the winter. It's comfortable like this, the heat radiating off of your skin mixes with Eddie's, the pumping of hearts syncing into the same rhythm pattern.

While your body settles into the softness of your bed, Eddie's is quick to jump up from his spot with a loud grunt. Fresh red marks flash at you, decorating the smooth skin of his back along with the pretty freckles you used to trace with the soft flesh of your finger tips.

As he sits on the side of your bed catching his breath, you wonder if he misses the feeling of your touch the way you miss his skin. You wonder if he misses the intensity of your body next to his, arms and legs tangled together buried underneath the shelter of his comforter. You wonder if his bed misses the shape of your body the way yours misses his.

The springs of your mattress groan when the weight of his body leaves and for a moment you feel the same way. Footsteps are muted by the fibers of your carpeting. You watch from your spot as Eddie grabs a tissue from your vanity, wiping himself free of any evidence of you and then disposing it into the garbage can with a careless toss.

Muscles flex as he begins to redress himself, hiding the masterpiece that you left on his skin. You hope that they sting when he's under the heated water of his shower, a pang that will go away within a few days while the pang of your hurt will last a lifetime.

His messy curls pull from the neck of his shirt, shaking with the motions of his head trying to get rid of the unruly hair that masks his vision. From the singular foot away that the two of you stand, you pray that he won't leave, that this isn't the end.

"Do you wanna stay? W-we could watch a movie or something." Behind the sincerity of your voice is a girl that mourns the loss of her once best friend, begging him to remember what the two of you had in the beginning.

The clang of his belt ricochets through the room, an uncomfortable hallow sound that you wish to forget. Spinning on the socked heel of his foot, he gives you a blank face. One so devoid of emotion, cold and vacant.

"Don't start doin' this, Pookie. You already know what this is." A clear warning given with a strict tone.

The nickname that used to cause butterflies only brings mountains of sadness. It used to have meaning, a funny inside joke between the two of you now dwindled down to the name of a place holder.

"I just thought-" Going unfinished by the sound of Eddie's deep sigh.

"Not tonight, kay?" He says as nicely enough to placate you and even though you know nothing will come from it, you're still full of hope.

Bending down, he begins to slide his feet into his shoes, the same one's you gifted to him only so many months ago. Watching him tie the browning shoelaces of his vans, you wonder if he remembers the way you smiled while handing him the box, or how he felt when you said you got them just because.

It tugs at your already bandaged heart, the sticky adhesive of band aids doing their absolute best to keep the muscle intact. The rattle of the remaining broken pieces rattle in your ears, muffling everything else around you.

The lanky man stands to full height, grabbing his beloved leather jacket from your floor where it was left in the tornado of excitement. Rounding the end of your bed he makes his way to you, standing over your still naked body.

Bending at the waist, Eddie places a wet kiss on your forehead and pulls away with charming smile.

"I'll text you, pook."

You nod at his words, gripping on tightly to the faith that this whole thing will work out the way you hope. Giving you a wink, Eddie quickly exists your room and just like that you crumble.

On the wet sheets of your bed you curl into yourself, naked and vulnerable in more ways than one. Tears leak from your eyes and sobs rip from the depths of your stomach. It hurts watching him walk out because you never know when it'll be the last time.

You try to think back to when everything changed, where it all went wrong. All of the flashbacks and memories flood your brain, a film wheel of all the happy moments. More tears flow, a nonstop river of all the heartache.

You miss him, what your friendship used to be. At this point you don't even care if he loves you the way you love him, you just want him to care for you like he did all those months ago.

You wish you could go back to that warm summer day where you handed over your heart and let him carve his name in it, so that no matter what you did you'd belong to him for the rest of your days.

thank you all for reading!! i hope you guys like part one :)

#eddie munson smut #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson #eddie munson blurb #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson angst #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x you #still adore you

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semi-imaginary-place · 4 months

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hnk stuff from reddit

The running joke is that you need a PhD in Japanese Pure Land Buddhist philosophy to understand what is going on. The main thing to get is that HnK is a critique of Pure Land Buddhism.

As for discussions on ship of theseus or plato's save this is anglosphere Westerners trying to use Western philosophical terms (which are more familiar) to interpret the existentialist themes inherent to Buddhism.

Most of this stuff is searchable on the internet. But you can also look up a primer on Buddhist philosophy and Mahayana Buddhism in particular which is the form most popular in East Asia.

Other than that there was this one imgur post going around compiling mythological references but I don't remember where it it.

Specifically ship of theseus/grandfather's axe deal with the question of what is the essence of something (or someone one). If something keeps changing having it's parts replaced with different parts at what point is it something different than the original. To understand a more Japanese perspective on philosophy and aesthetics look up kinsugi, wabi-sabi, or even the shinto influences on Japanese Buddhism.

Plato's allegory of the cave is about perspective, experienced versus objective reality, what is real, and knowledge. Some's dude's only seen the world through the shadows cast on a wall, then leaves the cave and realizes that everything they're seen has been shadows.

Some basic extremely simplified highschool takeaways for Buddhism is that suffering or discomfort (durka) is inevitable in life, this suffering stems from attachment to the world and desires (of any kind). Life is in a cycle of reincarnation (samsara). The way to break free of the cycle is to reach enlightenment (nirvana) by freeing oneself of all desire. In Mahayana Buddhism someone enlightened may instead choose to remain in the world to guide others becoming a bodhisattva. In the context of history this allowed Mahayana Buddhism to better adapt to local religions as it spread across Asia, incorporating local religions and deities. Thus Japanese Buddhism is descendent from Chinese Buddhism and you can see the Chinese influences in it (same with Korean Buddhism). Chinese Buddhism itself was influenced by other non-Indian cultures along the silk road in Central Asia (Persia, etc). So the route Japanese Buddhism took was from India to Central Asia then China before finally coming to Japan. Honestly just read the Wikipedia page on Buddhism it explains thing better than I can.

I'm not well versed enough in Buddhism to have a good guess but here's some notable plot points in relation to Buddhist themes in HnK.

https://semi-imaginary-place.tumblr.com/post/732170126864105472/ichikawa-intended-for-phos-to-be-a-failed-7

Phos is set up narratively to gain all 7 jewels/treasures (houseki) of Buddhism and then the author deliberately makes it so he doesn't. Phos gets the wrong final jewel. Phos gets shell and agate legs, gold platinum alloy arms, Lapis Lazuli's head, and Achemea implants an artificial pearl eye into their head. The last treasure Phos was missing was a red gem/carnelian/coral. But instead Phos got Adamante's eye and became "human".

Humanity failed to go extinct. Their souls, flesh, and bones existing separately and simultaneously in the world. Instead of continuing the cycle of reincarnation the Moon People/Lunarians are stuck in a state of neither life of death, stagnant. Instead of striving to reach enlightenment they seek complete annihilation the cessation of existence. To these descendents true humans are as to gods, the only ones with the power to have them die.

There's also a lot of ominous imagery. Like the lotus is probably the most significant symbol in Buddhism representing enlightening and the cycle of reincarnation. And Phos is associated several times with an empty lotus seed pod, like that he has failed Buddhism or something, the lotus failed to complete it's lifecycle and will not be born again from it's seeds.

I honestly don't have any conclusions what to make of all this, still mulling over it all.

#hnk

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hit-song-showdown · 1 year

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Year-End Poll #43: 1992

[Image description: a collage of photos of the 10 musicians and musical groups featured in this poll. In order from left to right, top to bottom: Boyz II Men, Sir Mix-a-Lot, Kriss Kross, Vanessa Williams, TLC, Eric Clapton, En Vogue, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Color Me Badd, Jon Secada. End description]

More information about this blog here

Now in 1992, we're seeing the true force of Seattle's music scene making its way to the charts. By that of course I'm talking about the Hot 100 debut of The Emerald City's own Sir-Mix-a-Lot. I'm not even being cheeky (ha.) about that. Not only has Sir-Mix-a-Lot been successful in the rap scene prior to this year (including a platinum record), but with Baby Got Back we're finally seeing rap music officially represented in these polls (along with Kriss Kross). Yesterday, I talked about Miami bass and the obscenity trial surrounding 2 Live Crew. Baby Got Back may not have reached that level of litigation, but the track was incredibly controversial, with the music video being banned by MTV.

This year is also notable for featuring the R&B group, Boyz II Men, and this won't be the last we see of them. End of the Road beat the record at the time for holding the number one spot on the Billboard Hot 100. This record was later broken by Boyz II Men again with the releases of I'll Make Love to You and One Sweet Day (two tracks we may discuss in the future...). The group dominated the charts, with a cumulative 50 weeks at the number one spot. As we get to the latter half of the decade and the boy bands start flooding in, it's clear to see where the direct line of influence was drawn.

But anyone who knows even the most basic facts about music history from this time may notice that something seems to be missing. It's interesting coming at this from a 2023 perspective, because the absence of Nirvana's Smells Like Teen Spirit just feels wrong. It's hard to find a music retrospective that doesn't mention it. As the song that helped grunge find a mainstream audience, rock's shifting image, the changing attitudes and priorities of a new generation of young listeners, the commercialization of the PNW working class lifestyle, the final nail in glam metal's coffin. But on the Billboard Year-End chart, Smells Like Teen Spirit only reached number 32 (which is still an accomplishment for the pop charts). Will we ever see grunge truly featured on these polls? Probably not. At least not until we get to the genre's descendants in the 2000's.

#billboard poll #billboard music #tumblr poll #1990s #90s music #1992 #boyz ii men #sir mix a lot #kriss kross #vanessa williams #tlc #eric clapton #en vogue #red hot riding hood #color me badd #jon secada

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shintoinenglish · 4 months

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Hello!

I am studying Buddhism and Shintō and I was wondering how people combine these two worldviews in Shinbutsu-Shūgō? As I know Shinto is very focused on nature and love for the world around us, while Buddhism believes that we are in the wheel of samsara, the world is full of suffering and we should leave here to Nirvana

Thank You in advance for Your answer.

I don't think Buddhism encourages leaving this world in any way, but rather teaches us how to deal with hardships, trauma, and inequality in this life. It's understandable why many people think Buddhism is more afterlife-oriented, especially in Japan, but this definitely does not mean that this world is inherently bad. It's more of a neutral perspective, from what I've read and heard. Both Shintō and Buddhism acknowledge that the natural world can harm, and the ways this is explained, as well as how humans react to it, varies by sect.

I think Zen temples are a good example of how Buddhism can focus on nature (though I'm not Zen, so please don't take my word for this!). There's a reason why monks trained in nature, in mountains far from the city. There's also a reason why even today, Shugendō practitioners keep practicing their asceticism in the wild. Reminding ourselves that we are part of nature is still Buddhist; being a good steward for nature is probably a way to build good karma (toku) which you can dedicate to others. To give a concrete example, I see veterinarians and those involved in animal welfare and rescue as being of service to Kannon-sama, because that is a field in which compassion is a driving force. Not that you have to be Buddhist to be a veterinarian, but I believe it to be a profession that is inherently compatible with Kannon-sama's goals. Of course, this includes wildlife rehabilitation, and I'd say is even more relevant for 'uncharismatic' wildlife such as vultures, who play a valuable part in the cycle of life on this planet. I lack knowledge in the field of plants, but I'm sure there is something similar to be said about people who engage in environmental activism, guerilla gardening, etc.

Shintō isn't necessarily about love for the world around us, but appreciating connections between people, kamisama and so on, spanning from history to now: the ancient peoples who discovered rice could be edible, to those who first farmed with it, to the farmers currently harvesting it, to the rice itself, full of life, on your plate.

Thank you for sending me this question, it really got me thinking!

#my asks #anonymous #I hope this helps!

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adventure-showdown · 7 months

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What is your favourite Doctor Who story?

ROUND 1 MASTERPOST

synopses and propaganda under the cut

The Book of the War

Synopsis

The Great Houses: Immovable. Implacable. Unchanging. Old enough to pass themselves off as immortal, arrogant enough to claim ultimate authority over the Spiral Politic.

The Enemy: Not so much an army as a hostile new kind of history. So ambitious it can re-write worlds, so complex that even calling it by its name seems to underestimate it.

Faction Paradox: Renegades, ritualists, saboteurs and subterfugers, the criminal-cult to end all criminal-cults, happy to be caught in the crossfire and ready to take whatever's needed from the wreckage… assuming the other powers leave behind a universe that's habitable.

The War: A fifty-year-old dispute over the two most valuable territories in existence: "cause" and "effect."

Marking the first five decades of the conflict, THE BOOK OF THE WAR is an A to Z of a self-contained continuum and a complete guide to the Spiral Politic, from the beginning of recordable time to the fall of humanity. Part story, part history and part puzzle-box, this is a chronicle of protocol and paranoia in a War where the historians win as many battles as the soldiers and the greatest victory of all is to hold on to your own past…

Propaganda

Is it about Dr Who? I mean, sort of. Arguably. You could say the Doctor is present in it. Somewhat. Not by name tho because that would be illegal. But definitely there are uh. well. there's definitely stuff in it that's DWesque. It's Dr Who Adjacent. It's Dr Whoish. Strong Dr Who vibes. (@eighthdoctor )

Experimental sci-fantasy that defined the Time War and started a whole series of its own. (anonymous)

This Town Will Never Let Us Go

Synopsis

From up here you can see it all, hear it all, taste most of it and feel the rest when the electric lights and the satellite signals prickle against your skin. The town, from midnight to six, marked out in headlights and the flash-fire of a culture in War-time. Séance-messages written in the patterns of the road signs, and ghost-transmissions scrambled into the background noise of the traffic. Animal scent-signals from the fried food stands. All describing something, buried under the tarmac and the street-geometry.

Down there, a girl in a fake-bone mask is working on a ritual to bring it to the surface. A popular performing artiste with a navel stud and serious identity problems is finding herself stalked — literally — by her own image. An ambulance crewman is about to find his own way of getting involved in the War.

And bringing them all together, in one neat little urban mythology, there's Faction Paradox - part cult, part subculture, part pop phenomenon, and part criminal syndicate, either watching-without-being-seen or simply not existing at all (at least until someone invents it). Assuming they're not wholly imaginary, the archons of the Faction seem like the only ones who know what this town really is - what every town really is — and what's bound to happen when it wakes up.

Propaganda no propaganda submitted

Of the City of the Saved…

Synopsis

For Humanity, the War is over...

We all remember Resurrection Day. Even now, three centuries later, we cannot forget that awakening: our bewilderment, our terror and our joy. Each of us had experienced death, imagining ourselves bound for oblivion, Heaven or Nirvana, according to taste. Instead, we found, each member of the many human species — from tool-wielding australopithecines to posthuman philosopher-gods — had been harvested, gathered here by the Founders’ unfathomable technologies.

Reborn in our countless immortal bodies, we were given the freedom of the City of the Saved. A single conurbation as broad as a spiral galaxy, she has been our sanctuary from the ravages of the War. That monstrous conflict between inhuman cultures cannot touch us here: we live our afterlives beyond the end of time, in perfect safety.

We may be certain, therefore, that these rumours of a murder (the brutal stabbing of a City Councillor, no less!) are nothing more than lurid fabrications. The supposition that the murder weapon is missing, or that it could have been — as hysterical conjecture has claimed — a "potent weapon", capable of injuring a Citizen within the haven of the City, is equally absurd. The idea that a guerrilla war has already begun in one of our less harmonious enclaves need not be dignified with refutation.

Please go about your business, Citizens, as normal. We are perfectly safe, here in the City. Humanity has never been safer.

Propaganda no propaganda submitted

Doctor Who and Shada (fan novelisation)

Synopsis

The Doctor and Romana visit Professor Chronotis, a retired Time Lord living at Cambridge University. The Professor wants to return an ancient and very powerful book to Gallifrey - but the book has gone missing.

Skagra, an evil scientist, steals the book and the Professor's mind - and also takes Romana and the TARDIS.

In order to stop Skagra, the Doctor must discover the secrets of a notorious Time Lord criminal, and a long forgotten prison called Shada...

Propaganda

The first ever adaption of Shada and one of the only fan novelisations (anonymous)

Harvest of Time

Synopsis

After billions of years of imprisonment, the vicious Sild have broken out of confinement. From a ruined world at the end of time, they make preparations to conquer the past, with the ultimate goal of rewriting history. But to achieve their aims they will need to enslave an intellect greater than their own...

On Earth, UNIT is called in to investigate a mysterious incident on a North Sea drilling platform. The Doctor believes something is afoot, and no sooner has the investigation begun when something even stranger takes hold: The Brigadier is starting to forget about UNIT's highest-profile prisoner. And he is not alone in his amnesia.

As the Sild invasion begins, the Doctor faces a terrible dilemma. To save the universe, he must save his arch-nemesis... The Master.

Propaganda

An amazing 3rd Doctor story that feels very much like the typical Delgado!Master stories of the time! Featuring: UNIT, Original Characters, a poster with the Master’s face on it stating to remeber him, and more! (anonymous)

#round 1

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jellogram · 10 months

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I feel like the current state of mainstream movies is similar to the state of American rock music in the late 80s. Allow me to give you a quick rock history lesson.

Basically, by the late 80s you had studios that had learned how to create Van Halens and Def Leppards by the dozen. Take four decently attractive white guys, throw them in tights and hairspray and eyeliner, give them some stupid 4-chord song about hot girls, and you were guaranteed a round of radio hits from about 1984-1989.

But people got tired of it. And the studios took waaaay too long to figure this out. They kept pumping out hair metal into the 90s, way beyond when the point where the genre was a joke to most people.

Here is every single one of those bands looked like, just for context:

This is the point we are currently reaching with mainstream blockbusters. We are in the era of movies that are the spiritual equivalent of like, Ratt.

But you know what happened around 1990? Grunge happened. And it sounded a bit shit and the guys dressed like homeless people but it exploded in popularity because people were so starved for rock music that actually meant something. Nirvana actually had something to say. They were real and genuine and even the young kids could sense that.

This is what Nirvana looked like:

So you can imagine how strange it would have been to see them amongst the other rockers.

This is all a gross oversimplification that ignores a lot of other contemporary music but I think it's a good lesson for mainstream media moguls. You can only keep the diarrhea machine running for so long before a bunch of freaks shatter your whole system just by daring to be unique and sincere.

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ckret2 · 2 months

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loving your posts, especially your music posts! one of my partners is getting me into Gravity Falls so I’m excited to see your fic when you’re done with it (godspeed 🙏🏻)

I’ve been putting playlists for characters togeyher and always felt like something was missing, ao your post about how to avoid making it sound like your taste was really helpful.

All that said, I’ve been doing research, and I came across a…category? Subgenre? idk it seems to cross a lot of genres - whatever, called “murder ballads”. Are there any characters you’ve made playlists for that murder ballads would fall on? (There’s a wiki page with a list of 132 of ‘em, the ones I’m familiar with are the country murder ballads like Goodbye Earl, Independence Day [by Martina McBride], and Two Black Cadillacs, but there’s songs with different parent genres on there like metal, folk, pop, rock, and medieval.)

"Murder ballad" is like, "love song". It describes the subject matter but not the style of the song itself. They tend to gravitate toward certain genres but it's not a genre-specific label.

Outside Gravity Falls, i've put murder ballads on Alastor—1920s jazz murder ballads, and EARLY early folk murder ballads (he had to listen to SOMETHING as a kid before he was old enough to go watch jazz bands, and dude's morbid).

Inside Gravity Falls, I see old Appalachian murder ballads for Fiddleford (but he's a character i haven't sufficiently fleshed out a playlist for yet, just haven't made the time; Appalachian murder ballads are a genre I've specifically earmarked to dig into for him tho). My Fidds playlist currently has a bluegrass cover of "In The Pines" (better known as "Where Did You Sleep Last Night"—you might know the Nirvana or Lead Belly version), although I wanna find a different cover of that song because the specific one I added to the playlist took out the actual murder lyrics lmfao.

For a while I had a few 1950s murder ballads on Stan's playlist—Mack The Knife, Stagger Lee, Folsom Prison Blues—but I've taken most of them off because uh... i got tired of listening to them sdflkfh. I need to find fresh ones to put on that I'm not yet tired of. In general, for Stan I try to steer toward 1950s songs—preferably rock n roll—about crime, prisons, murder.

If you have spotify, I recommend the podcast Murder Ballads (unfortunately a spotify exclusive, so that's the only way to listen to it). It's only six episodes but it goes over the history of murder ballads AND gives several covers of each featured song across genres/years

#youcankissmycas #ask #music

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a-dinosaur-a-day · 1 year

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what are you into besides dinosaurs/birds? or is it just that?

I recognize how many could come to that conclusion but I promise I'm into other things besides paleontology and ornithology!

I'm really interested in Judaism and almost became a Rabbi. Some of my friends still call me a Dinosaur Rabbi

I'm very musical; I can sing, I can play a few instruments, and I'm always listening to punk & alt music. Favorite band is Rise Against. I also really enjoy Fall Out Boy, the Offspring, Nirvana, Paramore, Silversun Pickups, Jimmy Eat World, Mother Feather, Veruca Salt... plus a lot of Jewish music like Pharaoh's Daughter and Nefesh Mountain

I'm from Chicago and I'm very passionate about my hometown. I'm sad I don't live there now.

I loooooooooove computer games. I play them waaaaay too much.

I'm a writer! Been writing fanfiction and original fiction since... I was 10? That sounds right

I love marine biology! I'm a sucker for cetaceans. Orcas are so beautiful and Vaquitas make me sob like a baby.

Ecology & the Biosphere in general are fascinating to me. I love learning about how life and the planet come together to make the interesting world we live on.

I also love history! Certain periods I find boring but history in general is very fascinating just as prehistory is.

I enjoy books and I have way too many of them. I'm just always reading *something*.

I'm an anarchocommunist and I do have a strong interest in politics and political activism. I blame my communist parents, I never had a chance. I knew who Fred Hampton was before I knew how to do multiplication.

I also just love learning about queer theory and queer history beyond that. I'm intersex, nonbinary, demiromantic, and pansexual. So queer stuff is a big part of my life. Also, disability activism, because I'm hella neurodivergent and I have mobility issues.

I am passionate about my friends and my chosen family (and my mom). I have some really great people in my life - my spouse (whom I have been with for 10 years), my best friend forever (whom i have been friends with since high school), and so many other wonderful friends both "in real life" and on the internet. I also have five parrots, which unfortunately do not count as a separate interest lol

I enjoy a lot of comedy shows because they help me forget my ~traaaaauma~ while I watch. So Parks & Rec (I have been called the Leslie Knope of Paleontology by multiple separate individuals), The Good Place, Abbott Elementary, Community, etc.

I like to bake! I'm pretty good at it. I also enjoy cooking some food, but I'm a really picky eater so it's limited.

and those are the major things! look at that, scientists are people too!

#about the blogger #about me #hobbies and interests

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shen-daozhang · 2 years

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@majestictortoise got an ask about recommendations for more Chinese shows for someone who enjoyed The Untamed, and opened the floor for more recommendations.... ... My time has come. I actually have a watch list here that's filterable by genre, as well as some other things (including my recommendations for those new to Chinese shows), but I wanted to pull out a couple of those that I think are good for people who are looking for something to watch after The Untamed, that might not be the first shows you'll hear about here on Tumblr.

If you like political intrigue, complicated characters, bromance, and women who can kick your ass (both metaphorically and literally)

THE SECRET OF THE THREE KINGDOMS

54 eps. Viki. Youtube.

199 CE. Yang Ping grew up alongside his foster-brother Sima Yi, unaware of the fact that he is the Emperor's identical twin brother. When the Emperor dies, Yang Ping is secretly placed on the throne in his brother's place. He quickly learns that his brother was emperor in name only, and spent his entire reign under the control of one warlord or another; currently he is under the thumb of the infamous and ingenious Cao Cao. But Yang Ping lacks the the viciousness and cunning that those closest to him think he needs to survive as the emperor, let alone unite a war-torn nation and revive a fading dynasty. Can Yang Ping survive the power-struggle and become an emperor in his own right while remaining true to his principles?

This is a (highly) fictionalized history of the fall of the Eastern Han and the start of the Three Kingdoms period. It start off a little rough (I honestly almost dropped around episode 5), but I got pulled in and find this to be very bingeable and just a fun show with a cast of really interesting characters. While they all have knives at each others throats, no one is truly a villain- even those people who are traditionally seen as being 'bad guys' are given depth and complications. These are people living a terrible period of history, who have very different ideas of how to fix it.

Speaking of history, if you know nothing about this period you'll likely need to do a little bit of Wikipedia-ing if you want to really get the most out of the show. While I do think it's mostly accessible to someone who is going in without knowing what happens, I actually think the liberties taken with history are an interesting way to play with the historical characters and why they did what they did, and how they became who they were; it's constructed in such a way that it assumes you know what happens to these people, which often makes their early actions and statements ironic looking at you Cao Pi, my poor little meow meow I've actually been debating about making a simple guide to the characters, so if that's something you're interested in let me know.

You might recognize: Bian Jiang who provided the voice for Lan Wangji voices Sima Yi Su Shangqing (voice of Meng Yao, Cao Weining, Tang Fan) voices several characters I am almost positive Yang Ping is voiced by Jiang Guangtao (voice of Xie Lian, Sheng Lingyuan in Drowning Sorrows in Raging Fire, Chu Wanning in the Erha voiced manhua). Tan Jianci (Cao Pi) is playing Gu Yun in Winner is King Tse Kwanho (Cao Cao) is playing Xue Zhengyong in HYX/Immortality

------------------

If you like a drama queen of a main character who is willing to do (almost) anything for what starts off as a just cause, a great friendship that gets twisted as the show goes on, found family, and fantastic chemistry between the actors (not just the romances)

RISE OF PHOENIXES

70 episodes. Netflix.

Banished prince Ning Yi claws his way back to power and favor, methodically eviscerating all who stand in his way. All the while he's drawn to the independent and intelligent Feng Zhiwei who has disguised herself as a boy and become a trusted scholar to the Emperor. But will they survive the schemes and hurdles thrown their way?

If you've watched Nirvana in Fire, Ning Yi is the person that Mei Changsu thinks he is, while thinking that he's the person who Mei Changsu really is. Chen Kun is one of my favorite actors, and the role of the histrionic and morally complicated Ning Yi really shows off his strengths. He's also my fancast for Yan Wushi for what it's worth, and this show is my Powerpoint for why.

I will say that I think this show embodies both the good and bad things about pseudo-historical c-dramas, especially one of this length. I've already touched on the acting, but it's really fantastic from nearly all of the cast, and the actors are allowed to actually react to each other which is a lot of fun to watch. The design is also very cohesive- in addition to the costuming, the set dressing is also really well done with lots of nice details.

However I will say that generally this is a show that you need to turn your brain off and just watch when it comes to the plot. There's also some pacing issues, with important information being skipped over or seeming like entire scenes were jumped over... which might actually be the case because rumor has it this was originally 90 episodes (!) but they were told to cut it down. I honestly recommend you end this show at episode 68. The ending of that episode is more satisfying than what the show gives you (which, spoiler, is a sad ending), and some of the story and plot issues of the later episode really snowball in the last two episodes, with characters acting really OOC and some pretty extreme ridiculousness.

But now that I've said all of that this show is incredibly bingeable and just a fun watch! And I can't understate how excellent the acting chemistry is.

You might recognize: Wen Ruohan as Feng Zhiwei's teacher Sleuth of the Ming Dynasty's Lao Pei is one of Feng Zhiwei's fellow students

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If you like a main character who has a lot of growing up to do (and does it), brothers with a relationship that's #it's complicated, and a xianxia setting focusing on gods and monsters.

ASHES OF LOVE

Viki 60 eps; Netflix 63 eps

Jinmi- a carefree spirit who is unable to feel love- finds herself caught in the sibling rivalry between the two sons of the Heavenly Emperor, Fire Deity Xufeng and Night Deity Runyu.

A personal comfort show/guilty pleasure. This was also a super popular show in China when it aired. The more fantastical xianxia setting gives a lot of room for interesting costume and set design, and while there are some hard fails, there's a lot more that really works! Honestly though I think this show is as popular as it is because of the three leads- Deng Lun, Luo Yunxi and Yang Zi are all really good actors, and make this more than what could have been just another xianxia romance soap-opera of a show. All three of them grown and change, and end the show as completely different people. I do want to say this show changes tone- it starts off almost as a romantic comedy with goofy elements before taking a much more serious turn in the later half.

If you can, watch this on Viki rather than Netflix because the subs are much better (I strenuously disagree with a lot of the choices, but I'll spare you my rant), and the Netflix version is the extended one which makes the show too long while not adding anything worthwhile, and actually messes up the ending of a pivotal episode, weirdly enough. EDIT: It appears the episode ending has been fixed! If you're curious, it was the ending of episode 45, which.... yeah kind of a major episode ending. If you would like to join me in waiting-for-HYX/Immortality hell, this is made by the same production company, and Luo Yunxi (Chu Wanning) plays Runyu, and He Zhonghua (Nangong Liu) plays the Heavenly Emperor (if you've spent any time in the Erha/Dumb Husky tag you have almost certainly seen people using clips of Luo Yunxi in this show for Chu Wanning edits)

------------------ If you like a coming-of-age fantasy that's a sprawling heroes-journey type story, but with the twist that the seemingly chosen hero is more of an anti-hero

EVER NIGHT

61 episodes. Viki

Teenagers Ning Que and Sang Sang try to survive despite the odds stacked against them, while Ning Que attempts to avenge the massacre of his family. Meanwhile, a prophesied darkness has awakened, and the threat of a humanity-ending Eternal Night looms.

I love this show. I adore an amoral main character, as much as I love a character who does bad things for what they think are good reasons and this show has BOTH, AND sets them in contrast to each other! I also love the design choices and the cinematography. Be aware however that as far as I'm concerned, season 2 didn't happen (a lot of the actors didn't return - including lead Chen Feiyu - and it just has a lot of issues). I think season 1 ends by closing out a major plotline enough that it's satisfying in that regard. I like to say this is a show for people who can enjoy the journey rather than the destination, since there are still a lot of things left open.

EDIT: It's back on Viki as of Jul 27!! I'm so happy you have no idea

You'll recognize: Meng Ziyi (Wen Qing) as Ye Hongyu Chen Feiyu (Mo Ran in HYX/Immortality) plays Ning Que, who is a very Mo Ran character (Like Ashes of Love, you've probably seen Chen Feiyu's role in this show used in Erha/Dumb Husky edits)

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If you want a show that has it all- comedy, drama, meet-cute, poetry references, court intrigue, scifi, spy thriller, wuxia, and is filled to the brim with interesting characters

JOY OF LIFE

Viki, 46 eps

Fan Xian was a modern guy who died and was reincarnated in ancient China. Since he's maintained all of his past life's knowledge, he plans to take advantage of his modern smarts and knowledge of classic poetry to live an easy life. However, larger forces have other plans for him, and they don't take kindly to the idea of someone who wants to control his own fate...

This is, hands down, one of the best c-dramas I have ever watched and it kills me that it's not more well-known. Everyone is fantastic and all of the characters are compelling (Haitang Duoduo, please marry me). It also has a twist to it that you will not see coming! I also want to give a special shout out to the actor who played young Fan Xian because he nails the adult actor's mannerisms and speech pattern (seriously, go back and watch the first ep again after you've seen further into the show, it's uncanny).

Heads up this ends on a cliff-hanger, and season 2 filming has been delayed for various reasons, but is supposedly starting in September. HOWEVER I think this show is more than worth watching without season 2 lined up because it's just so good. Also please don't read the Viki summary, it somehow manages to not be the show at all while also giving a major spoiler.

You'll recognize: Xiao Zhan (Wei Wuxian) as Yan Bingyun. He also sings the closing credits song.

This has gotten long, so I'm going to post this for now, and I'll probably make another post with more recs later (edit: I did! This one has more danmei-inspired shows) ! Let me know if this is something that you like to see.

#the untamed #secret of the three kingdoms #ashes of love #joy of life #ever night #rise of phoenixes #cdrama recs #my recs

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th3-0bjectivist · 9 months

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Dear listener, we are nearly three months into a necromantic mass musical summoning event on my page. For nearly 90 days, I’ve been covering recently deceased musical legends as well as digging deep for the very elite of dead bands. I’m gonna wrap the theme up after my next musical post, but this week let’s examine a band that has virtually no history because it folded like an accordion right out of the birth canal. Does everybody remember 90’s alternative rock!? I know, a throwback, right? If you’re not old enough to remember what the musical market was like back then; alternative rock had spent the 80’s largely underground and was popularized in the 90’s by bands like Nirvana, The Smashing Pumpkins and Soundgarden. At least initially, this type of rock was supposed to be an ‘alternative’ to mainstream radio rock. Unfortunately, in just a few short years, alt-rock BECAME mainstream radio rock. Everybody wanted to be in an alt-rock band and as a result the market became bloated and flabby with 3 to 4 member acts, and the music itself became diluted and consumer-focused. Alternative rock DID NOT age well, folks, and neither did Drill. This band didn’t just shit the bed upon their arrival on the music scene, they managed to shit every bed in a ten-block radius and called it quits immediately thereafter. They created zero hits, they never went on tour, they didn’t really contribute anything particularly substantial to music in general, and their album sold like bottled colon cancer. Further, they never really had a chance in hell at being successful because they were a newer act trying to muscle their way into the oversized alt-rock market which was largely spoken for. And that’s a shame, because this band had some demonstrably talented members like impossibly hot and gifted lead vocalist and future KMFDM alum Lucia Cifarelli, as well as Black Label Society’s original bassist John DeServio. Although their first and only album wasn’t exactly the greatest-of-all-time, they at least tried to hunker down and create something that sounded different from their contemporaries. When their self-titled album got panned into the 9th dimension by critics at the time, Drill instantly went out like a puff of cigar smoke in a thunderstorm. End of band history! This is Go To Hell from their 1996 self-titled album. Smash play and enjoy alt-rock again in all its majestic 90’s-drenched glory!

When I listen to modern music, I mostly hear shitty corporate pablum. When I listen to Drill, I think, well, at least there was some potential for greatness. They were enthusiastic, chaotic, aggressive, and creative… all traits I would respect in any artist. When it comes to music, I like anything that tries to be different. Drill tried and failed miserably, but as they say, it is sometimes the effort alone that counts. Image source: https://www.discogs.com/artist/230476-Drill

#drill #lucia cifarelli #go to hell #music on tumblr #music video #music #alternative rock #hard rock #grunge rock #rock #audio #audio on tumblr #KMFDM #new york band

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streamafterlaughter · 1 year

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Fundamental Differing

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Chapter I: Everybody Get Together

masterlist | playlist

summary: You meet with your record label, where they drop the news of a cross country tour in your lap. Your big break, finally, but with a huge catch.

tags: rockstar!eddie x rockstar!reader, gn!reader, estranged lovers, angst

a/n: i got so excited i wrote this in a little over two hours. don’t get used to the consistent updates just yet, but i’m so excited about this story! Please reblog to support the author!

Spring 1992 (present day)

Seattle

Your POV

The Sub Pop office is a small one, the walls covered floor to ceiling in magazine clippings, polaroids, and scribbled signatures of the label’s crowning achievements. When Death Dance Approximately was signed, you’d never freaked out so hard in your life. To be on the same label as Nirvana was something you never would have imagined, but now you’re here, with four of your closest friends, waiting for the executives to tell you the news.

“I told you, all I know is that they have a tour scheduled for us.” Steve looks at his planner as he leads you, Robin, Sylvie, and Lilith into the cozy board room. The four of you had harassed him all morning, begging to know what the meeting was for. “I have no idea who we’re going with, or when, and it’s starting to piss me off.” You’d hired Steve as your manager the second you were able to pay him. Selfishly, you’d missed having him around, and he was good at the job. He took care of you all, and loved you just as much.

“But why wouldn’t they tell you who we’re touring with? That doesn’t make sense. It makes me nervous.” You bite at one painted fingernail, an anxious habit you’ve been trying to break. You enter the meeting room early, the speakers playing Territorial Pissings at an insanely high volume. You huff as you plop yourself into an office chair, bouncing your leg as your band mates surround you.

“Welcome, Death Dance Approximately!” The double glass doors open, making way for label head Bruce Pavitt, a bald man in a flannel shirt and ripped jeans. He’s always been very hands on with his bands, making sure they have whatever they need before any performance. Part of you suspects it’s to keep his own reputation, but you appreciate it regardless. “I’m sure Steve’s told you why you’re all here today. We have set up your first ever cross country tour! You’ll be supporting Corroded Coffin on their Freak Show album tour. You’re not necessarily openers, but because they’re so big, you’ll be the second band on the bill …” Bruce’s words are lost on you after that, your vision blurring as every sound in the room becomes a jumble of noises and voices. Your mouth is dry, and you can’t breathe. Is this why you weren’t told? They knew of your history with Corroded Coffin, or worse, with Eddie? You haven’t seen him in years, and the thought of touring together makes your stomach flip.

“How long has this been planned?” You interrupt finally, attempting to keep your voice level. You feel everyone’s eyes on you, and chance a look at Steve, whose face has fallen with pity for you, and to Robin, who’s chewing her bottom lip feverishly as Lilith grips her hand. Sylvie drops their head in their hands, a sigh escaping their lips.

“We finalized with CC last week.” Bruce answers flatly, attempting to gauge your reaction to the news.

You nod curtly, and heave yourself out of your seat. The second you’re out of the office, you have a cigarette between your lips, and you’re struggling to light it with shaky hands. It isn’t long before Steve is beside you, offering his own lighter to the end of your cigarette.

“What the fuck?!” You look up at your best friend, and all he can do is shake his head. “Did you know about this? Tell me the truth.” Your voice is panicked, paranoid. Why wouldn’t they tell you sooner?

“No, I had no idea. I promise. I don’t think Eddie knows either.” You roll your eyes at his words. You don’t like remembering Steve and Eddie still talk, but it comforts you knowing he’ll be blindsided too.

“When do we leave?”

“Two weeks.”

“Two weeks?!”

“The Freak Show tour tickets have been on sale for months. They didn’t invite us on officially until today, but it’s been a plan for awhile. But I didn’t know. Eddie never mentioned waiting for another band. I don’t get it.” Steve is defeated, knowing how pissed off this news has made you, how stressed out you’ll be for the next three months. “I’m so sorry, Y/n, if I had known-“

“You would’ve told me, yeah yeah, I know. But you didn’t know, so you couldn’t tell me. There’s no use beating yourself up over it. This will be good for us. CC is huge, and to be invited to tour with them is gonna launch us to another level. If I survive it.”

Steve wraps his arms around you, pulling you into a comforting hug which you return, sobbing freely into his chest. What the fuck are you gonna do?

Los Angeles

Eddie’s POV

Eddie kicks his feet up on the table of the Elektra Records meeting room, lighting his second cigarette in twenty minutes. He’s barely listening to the suits talk, discussing the details of the Freak Show tour. But something catches his attention when his manager mentions “that femme grunge band.”

“Death Dance?” Eddie looks up, the cig dangling from his lips. Jeff and Gareth send each other a look of worry that Eddie clocks, and he looks back to the executive at the head of the table.

The bald man nods. “They just signed on as your featured band. They’ll go on before you, after the openers. That okay with you, Mr. Munson?”

Eddie runs a hand through his curls, staring at the table like it’s the most fascinating piece of furniture in the world. Eddie’s not a drama queen. But he’s so close to losing his shit right now, trying to let the news sink in.

“Yeah, yeah. That’s fine. Sounds good.” He inhales again, trying to soothe the anxiety that’s gathering in his chest. It’s been years since he’s seen you. He can’t imagine what this context will do to him. He drank himself silly when he saw you on MTV for the first time, your music video for Pretty Boy in regular rotation, causing him to fall into a months long depression he only clawed himself out of recently.

He picks at the skin around his fingers, peeling the calluses formed over years of performing. He can feel the nervous sweat on his brow, the chills on his arms. The conversation dies then, the room visibly more tense as people shuffle out, leaving their frontman to deal with the anvil that’s been dropped on his chest.

It’s nighttime when Eddie finally gets home. His house in LA isn’t special, a two story home with a big yard and a basement studio, but nothing extravagant. He practically punches the phone as he dials, not able to calm his nerves all day. The buzzing in his head has gotten louder, more persistent.

“Hello?” Steve picks up on the third ring, sounding exhausted.

“Hey, man.”

“Eddie, shit, man. I meant to call you. You hear already?”

“Oh, I heard. You know about this?” He accuses, bitter venom leaking from his tone.

“Why does everyone think I knew about this? Of course not, dude. I would have warned you. Both of you!”

Eddie sighs. “How’re they doing? How is—“

“Y/n? They’re freaked, Eddie.”

“You think I'm not? You think I’m super jazzed about this?”

Steve groans, and Eddie can practically hear him rubbing his face in frustration. “No, obviously not.”

“There’s nothing we can do about it now. Tour starts in two weeks. It’s not like we have any say over the labels.”

“You’ll be alright. It’s been, what? three years?”

“Two.”

“I thought you broke up in ‘89?”

Eddie bites his lip. “Yeah, officially. We stopped seeing each other in 90, though.” It was the worst six months of the relationship, sleeping together without any of the love, any of the passion you once harbored for each other. It broke Eddie’s heart more than he ever had thought possible. He’s still recovering from the final time you left him.

“Regardless,” Steve’s voice snaps him back to the present, “You’ll be alright. I got you. What’s the worst that could happen?”

“I can’t believe, after all we’ve been through, you still feel comfortable saying those words. It’s like you want to get your shit rocked.” Eddie chuckles, and Steve laughs with him. “Thanks, man. Really. And check on Y/n for me, yeah? I still worry about them.”

“Of course. They’ll never admit it, but I know you’re on their mind too. Goodnight, dude. See you soon.”

“See ya, Harrington.”

Your POV

“Who was that?” You plop down on Steve’s couch, a joint between your lips. Robin makes grabby hands at you, and you pass the toke to her before reaching for the chips in Sylvie’s lap.

“Uh, Eddie, actually. He got told today, too.” Steve takes his spot next to you as Robin passes him the joint. “How’re you doing?”

You read the earnestness in Steve’s eyes, and you can’t bring yourself to lie. “I’m scared. Our album releases the first day of tour, I never would have thought he’d be around for it. What’s he gonna think? When he sees that cover, if he listens to it? I’m screwed!”

Steve shakes his head. “I don’t believe that. Eddie’s never had a bad thing to say about you, all this time. Sure he’s hurt, you both are, but there’s no chance you’ll make him mad. I don’t think it’s possible.”

You roll your eyes. It’s almost a challenge. Maybe you want to piss him off, at least then you’ll know he’s hurting. Corroded Coffin has plenty of angry songs, but none of them sound like they’re about you. Maybe you’re clueless, though, missing what’s right in front of you.

“Hey,” Robin chimes in, scooting closer to you on the floor. “You have us, okay? You’re not going into this alone. We love you, we’ll make sure you’re okay the whole time.” Sylvie nods at her words, and Lilith reaches for your hand. You entwine your fingers with hers.

“I love you guys.” Your voice is barely a whisper, but it draws your friends into you, surrounding you in a group hug.

chapter II

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