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sluts4matt · 1 month

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Can you do one where y/n is inlove with nate since she was 14 but she's the sturniolo tirplets little sister and her best friend is in love with nate now she's 19 and still in love with him, she is dating this bot but he's not so nice to her and nate gets mad at him and one night y/n gone to nate while he was in LA and tells him that her boyfriend broke up with her because she didn't want to lose her virginity to him, nate is there for her so she kisses him realizing she betrayed her friend and brothers but nate tells her he likes her back they go on a couple of dates and 8 mouths later y/n loses her virginity to her high school crush meanwhile they have sex y/n best friend comes over and her best friend and her brothers didn't know they were dating till they hear her moan/or nate and y/n feels like bad friend but none of them actually care

SECRET

pairing: nate doe x sls!erika sturniolo

summary: she had hidden her feelings away for years, but with growing up and toxic relationships it was all starting to resurface.

warnings: none

word count: 1631

authors note: a miniseries, whaaat. i am so fucking sorry this took me as long as it did @mssturniolo, next chapter in a few days most likely.

having feelings for your brothers' best friend had always been a no go. or at least that's what the movies always taught me, i found myself loving the trope from a young age, before i truly understood what liking a boy meant.

now i know, and am in fact involved with the same beloved trope of all of my favorite movies.

the feeling was planted when I was fourteen, my mom and brothers brought me to watch a friends hockey game. his blue eyes and blonde curls captivated me basically immediately. of course, i knew about the infamous nathan doe, he had been nick, matt, and chris' best friend since middle school.

i just hadn't had an actual conversation with him until he skated up to our area. nick, matt, and chris had all been freshmans' in high school while me and nate were still stuck in the eighth grade.

he had skated right up to us, the biggest smile i had ever seen, which i had thought was impossible because of the contagious one chris almost always wore. "hey guys'," he grinned, "hey erika," he said, the name falling from his mouth as if he had spoken it a thousand times before.

my cheeks flushed as i nodded and gave him a small wave. the butterflies felt instant and like they weren't gonna go away. the buzzer rang, signaling for everyone to get in their positions.

we watched as nate skated away on the ice, the silver blade of his ice skates carrying him away. "always such a sweet boy," i heard my mother marylou state from beside me.

after watching the game and watching nate score the winning goal, we all made our way out of the arena, nate quickly joining us. he swung an arm around chris' shoulder as he fell in stride beside me.

"you guys did good," i state, ignoring the heat i felt going to my cheeks. "yeah?" he asks, his boston accent thick, and i can tell he wants me to keep talking. "yeah, it was pretty impressive," i say. "im glad you thought so," he replies, and his smile is even wider now.

i feel my face heat up more as the words 'he's talking to me!' repeat in my head. "you guys staying the night?" he asks, turning to the three boys who all looked basically identical.

"can we?" the three of them ask, practically jumping up and down. "of course!" marylou answers, and the four of them start cheering.

my alarm blared, bangs coming from my door. "hurry up erika," i could hear nicks agitated voice, "you're gonna make us late," he continued with a groan.

i looked over at my phone, seeing that my alarm had been going off for ten minutes now. a gasp left my lips as i got up, frantically moving around my bedroom.

i pulled the first clothes from my drawers that my hands landed on, pulling my pajamas off and replacing them. i quickly put on deodorant and brushed my teeth before brushing through my hair. i applied a few layers of mascara to my eyelashes, watching the black envelop them and make them longer and bolder.

i heard nick groan once again, as i walked to my door. i opened it being met with his eyes staring down at me, "what's the point of an alarm if you don't wake up to it?"

"hurry up," chris sang from the bottom of the stairs, "we have to go get nate."

a smile was brought to my lips, before i quickly replaced it. nate and i had gotten closer in the past two years, most of our freshman classes were with each other so we grew accustomed to each other's company.

he always came to our house after practice or games, sometimes he would just show up unannounced to hang out, typically with the boys, sometimes me if they were busy.

he was an incredibly sweet person, he was always helping around the house and never expected anything in return. he was also extremely funny and had a great sense of humor and could make even the toughest situations funny.

"bye mom," the four of us stated, walking out the door. me and nick got in the back of the van while matt and chris sat in the front, matt being the driver.

nick started a conversation with the three of us, one that i mostly tuned out, only catching a few words here and there. the drive to nates house was short, like always.

matt parked by the curb and i watched chris pull out his phone to send nate a text. not even a minute later nate was walking out of his front door, a black baseball cap sat backwards on his head, his blonde hair peaking out slightly.

he wore a grey sweatshirt and black jeans, a bag slung over his shoulder. a wide grin appeared on his face as he saw the car, running and throwing himself into the back.

"morning," he smiled towards us all, scooting in beside me. "morning," we all mumbled, giving tired smiles. "why are you so happy," nick grumbled, leaning his head against the window.

"because we get to go to school, where they'll teach us, and fill our heads with knowledge," he said, grinning. "okay, now the truth," i giggle, poking his side.

his hand grabbed my finger, holding it. a smile stayed on his face, as his thumb grazed over the back of my finger, sending goosebumps up my arms. "i just have a good feeling about today," he answered. "okay psychic," chris joked, not taking notice to nate's hang wrapped around my index finger.

"well im glad you're so happy," matt added, smiling at nate. "are you guys excited for homecoming?" nate asked, looking at us. "no," me and matt respond at the same time, neither of us were one for big crowds and god knew that's what homecoming would be.

chris and nick on the other hand, had already bought tickets and were planning their outfits. chris was planning to take some girl named juliette while nick was trying to figure out how to ask his best friend to go as friends.

no one knew who nate was going with, at least not me. he didn't talk about it much in all honestly, today had been the second time i've heard anything from him about it in a month.

"who are you taking again?" chris asked, turning back to the three of us. "ava," nate smiled, causing my heart to drop. ava michaels was pretty, i had always envied her.

the way her skin looked flawless and clear all the time, her clothes, everything. her eyes were a deep blue color, and her hair was a dark brown color, almost black. her lips were plump and naturally pink, she was known as one of the prettiest girls in our school.

"lock it down bro, we'll be popular forever," nick joked. "it's not a date," nate chuckled, "just friends," he added, causing me to let out a breath i hadn't realized i was holding.

out of the corner of my eye, i could see nate look over at me, though i chose to ignore it. the rest of the drive was silent, except for the occasional joke or two.

when we finally arrived, matt parked the car in his original parking slot, putting it in park before he turned the key over, shutting the ignition off.

the four of us unbuckled and exited the vehicle, following the stream of kids entering the school.

the day seemed to move by in a flash, and i had found myself in the library, sitting next to nate, waiting for the bell to ring so the librarian could tell us what our english teacher had planned.

"did you do the homework?" i heard nate whisper. i looked over at him, his head was laying down on his crossed arms. "yes," i state, already pulling the paper from my bag so he can copy the answers.

i watched his eyes widen slightly, before a small smirk fell onto his lips. he sat up, scooting his chair closer to mine. his knee brushed against mine as he copied the answers, the touch sending a shiver down my spine.

he was close enough that i could smell his cologne, and i had to admit that i liked it. "thanks," he whispered, putting his paper away as the librarian began speaking.

"welcome, welcome, mrs. wilson called out sick very last minute, not giving us time to find a substitute," she explained.

"so instead you all will be working with a peer partner, groups of two, mrs. wilson says she doesn't mind who you work with as long as you're quiet and respectful," she finished, a smile appearing on her face.

"any questions?" she asked, but no one raised their hand. "perfect," she grinned, "get in groups of two," she said.

"hey partner," nate grinned, and the butterflies in my stomach erupted. "hey," i smiled, feeling a blush fall onto my cheeks. "so what do you wanna do?" he asked, his knee bumping into mine again, this time purposefully.

"shakespeare?" i suggest, and he nods, a smile on his lips. "what's your favorite play?" i ask, pulling out a sheet of notebook paper. "romeo and juliet," he smiles, making me smile as well.

"i knew you were basic," i joked, and his jaw dropped. "im not basic," he defended, a fake gasp escaping his lips.

i laughed, rolling my eyes as i wrote the title of the play on the paper. "we could compare and contrast the original play with the movie," he suggested, and i nodded, writing.

"good idea, let's start."

tag list:

@hysteria-things @tillies33ssss @soimightlikeoldmen69 @sturniolossss @freshsturns @lily-strnlo @etvar12 @iloveurgf @sstvrnioloo @junnniiieee07 @sturnioloa @chrryclouds @sturniolho @mayhem-72 @nicksmainbitch @sturniolowhore @imwetforyourmom @novasturniolo03 @catalina-island @stars4chratt @gbaabyyyy @monkeyscientist22

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starryblueeyesandstarryblueskies · 3 months

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Officer Down | J.H.

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader

Summary: Jay takes a hit to the chest during a shootout and gives you quite the scare. Based on episode 6x2.

A/N: I finally wrote something!! (Shocking I know) it only took me 7 months but I’ve finally got a new fic for yall. I’m sorry for being so slow to write but the last 7 months have been ROUGH.

I’ve been wanting to write this fic forever and was finally inspired to finish it after rewatching the episode. I don’t really like how this turned out but that’s what happens after writers block I guess

Warnings: near death experiences, guns and shooting

Word Count: 637

This case had been difficult for the team, Jay getting hit his hardest with his dad being one of the victims on the fire. The longer the chase for the arsonist, the more you could see him spiraling. You expected it, all things considered. Jay may have said they didn’t have the best relationship, but it was still his father. What you didn’t expect was for Jay to disobey a direct order from Voight and go after the suspect on his own.

After you took his truck and two way, you thought he would be safe, far away from the action. So when you heard his call come in over the radio, your heart sank to your stomach.

“This is 5021 George. Emergency. Shots fired. Offender down, need an ambo. Lower Wacker and Columbus.”

As soon as you heard his location, you took off running, Kevin close behind. Rounding the corner, you saw Jay unmoving on the pavement, his side covered in blood.

“5021 Victor. Officer down. I repeat, officer down. Lower Wacker and Columbus. Get us an ambulance!” You rushed to Jay’s side, leaving Kevin to take care of the offender.

You tried to stay calm as you ripped open his shirt, panic threatening to override your training. You could see he was bleeding from his side, but you couldn’t tell what the damage was from the other bullets.

“Jay? Hey, talk to me.” Your voice wavered.

Jay was breathing heavily, looking at you with wide eyes. You pulled his vest away from his body, feeling under it for the bullet.

“It didn’t go through. It didn’t go through.” You pressed on the wound at his side with shaky hands. “You’re gonna be okay. It’s okay. Just breathe.”

You watched intently as the paramedics patched up Jay in the back of the ambulance. There were officers all around you, blocking off the scene and questioning the other members of the team, but you tuned it all out.

Once the paramedics were done treating him and he had gotten a thorough scolding from Voight, you made your way over.

“Hey.” You took a seat next to him. “You gonna be okay?”

Jay looked at you sheepishly. “Yeah, I’m okay. No serious damage, just a few stitches and some major bruising.”

“Good.”

“I’m really sorry, Y/N. I just couldn’t stop myself.” He said quietly.

You nodded lightly, giving him a small smile and patting his leg gently. “I know.”

The paramedic came back over and you used the interruption to excuse yourself. You could feel the aftermath of the situation setting in and you needed to get away from the scene.

You heard footsteps behind you and Kevin appeared at your side. “Hey, you okay?”

“Yep, I’m good. I’m fine.” You replied, unable to keep the emotion out of your voice.

Kevin put a hand on your arm, slowing you down and turning you towards him. “Woah, woah.” You couldn’t stop the tears from welling up in your eyes as you met his gaze. “Yeah, that’s the adrenaline wearing off. It’s okay.”

“I thought he was dead.” You choked out the words.

Kevin put his arm around your shoulder, pulling you close. “So did I.”

As the two of you made it back to the cars, he brought you in for a hug. You gripped his shirt tightly, embarrassed by your crying, but soaking in the comfort after the emotions of the past hour. You knew out of anyone, Kevin would never judge you for being human.

“I gotcha.” He rubbed your back comfortingly. “C’mon, Sarge said we’re done for the day. Jay’s in good hands. I’ll drive you home.”

You spared one last glance back towards Jay as you got into the car, only to find him looking right at you, his face etched with concern.

Writing Masterlist

#jay halstead #chicago pd #one chicago #jay halstead x reader #jay halstead fic #jay halstead imagine #jay halstead blurb #jay halstead one shot #chicago pd fic #chicago pd x reader

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have-you-seen-my-sanity · 2 months

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Short Temper

Dark!Poe Dameron x Fem!pilotReader

Dead dove do not eat - you'll get exactly what's in the tags!

Tags: Leia being such a sweetheart to reader, 18+!!, punishment, Poe being kind of possessive, p in v, blowjob, deep throating, overstimulation, dark Poe, Black Squadron members being silly lol.

Today was a rather stressful day at the Resistance, a pilot in Black Squadron was sick and you had to jump in and take his spot for a training simulation. But today, everyone knew Commander Poe Dameron had bad mood, he couldn't sleep the last night due to a Generator near his quarters kept beeping.

You just finished up preparing your X-Wing as General Leia Organa came up to you along with C-3PO by her side.

"Hey," she gave you a warm smile, "I saw how nervous you looked earlier when you had to jump in for today. Don't be, Black Squadron has the nicest pilots I've ever worked with." Leia placed a gentle hand on your shoulder, giving you a reassuring squeeze.

"I know. Well, except Poe today." you laughed making Leia chuckle

"Yeah, except him. But please keep an eye on him, I don't want the whole base being moodier than him."

"Where are you going?" you asked curiously.

"I and C-3PO are going to Coruscant for a meeting. And until then, Poe will be in command until I'm back."

"Alright. But please be back as soon as possible, we don't want Poe to lose his shit." you chuckled.

"I promise I will. Take care." she gave you a pat on the shoulder and another warm smile, turning around and leaving for her meeting.

Soon enough, all pilots of Black Squadron gathered at the hangar, they all welcomed you, immediately cracking jokes with you and sharing laughter.

After a while one member spoke up, "Well, here he comes, Commander bad mood himself."

You had to suppress a laughter and went to your X-Wing. Then Poe approached you,

"Hi there, jumper. Got everything prepared?"

"Yes, sir." you nodded.

"Good. All you have to do is to follow my lead and don't do anything stupid." with that Poe walked to his X-Wing and climbed in.

----------------------------------------------------

The training simulation went well for the most part, but at one point you pulled off a stunt inside a nearby asteroid field to destroy the target. You chased the target through the field, doing some really close manouvers but at the end you successfully destroyed the last target while Poe was barking at you over the comm to get back and not risk your life for a dummy target. But you got sick and cut off your comm.

Now Black Squadron was back at the hangar, you changed into your mechanic uniform to re-new some paint on your X-Wing. Soon everyone else got out of their X-Wings and up to you. You thought they all would scold you but instead they laughed,

"Damn, you pulled off quite the show! Ha!"

"I wish we could have seen Poe's face when you've made it out of there alive."

"Poe did not like that at all!"

"I bet if you pull off more stunts like that, you could be even better than Poe!" Another one laughed.

"Oh oh... Poe's coming." one pointed at the black X-Wing that has just entered the hangar and landed.

All the other members of Black Squadron quickly pissed off to avoid Poe's temper but you decided to stay to prevent further provocation.

Poe removed his helmet and climbed out of his cockpit, immediately walking towards you. As you saw him coming closer, you took a deep breath and prepared mentally for the scolding you're about to get.

"What the hell was that?!" Poe barked, his tone was authoritive and demanding answers.

"Poe- I'm sorry, I-" Poe cut you off,

"You risked your life for a fucking training target, pulling off dangerous stunts inside an asteroid field!" Poe left no room for arguments.

"I'm sorry! I won't do it again!" You pleaded but he sighed in annoyance and shook his head.

"Sorry won't cut it." he responded sternly.

"What do you mean, Dameron?"

"Oh, you'll see. Come with me."

You stood there confused and Poe raised an eyebrow, "Don't make me repeat myself. Come with me now." he ordered almost coldly.

You did as he asked and followed him. He lead you into an empty supply room with a table and some chairs inside. He turned on the lights and motioned for you to enter first. After stepping inside, Poe typed something on the console beside the door and it turned red, signalizing the door is locked.

"Uhm, Poe? What are you doing?" you asked slowly and carefully.

He turned around to face you, "I'm going to teach you a lesson. A lesson to never risk your life for some stupid stunts." he walked towards you and pulled out a chair from the table and sat down.

"Get on your knees." he ordered.

"On my knees?" you asked confused.

"Do it." he growled.

You hesistated but slowly getting down on your knees. You slowly realized how Poe wanted to punish you.

Poe slowly unzipped his orange flight suit, "You know, I had a really bad fucking night. And your disobedience was the last drop."

He reached inside and pulled out his already hard cock, giving it a few strokes.

"Suck it." He ordered, tilting his head to the side slightly as if daring you to disobey.

Slowly, you leaned in, his other hand coming up behind you and grabbed the back of your neck. His hand was hot against your cold skin, it almost made you afraid of Poe.

You gave his cockhead a few licks, looking up at him and saw the desire in his eyes. A desire to grab your head and fuck your throat so hard it will be sore the next day. But he wanted you to do everything.

"Go ahead." His hand on the back of your neck gave you a warning squeeze.

You leaned in and took his girth in your mouth as far as you could. He was so big you couldn't fit him all the way. Poe groaned deeply and you looked up to see his eyes fluttered close and his head thrown back.

"Fuck, keep going." he looked back down at you and licked his lips hungrily.

You kept sucking him, the only sounds filling the small room were the wet sounds and Poe's groaning.

"You're so good at this." He praised and moved his hand upwards to tangle into your hair.

"I'm gonna cum. You better swallow every drop or else you will suck my cock again and again until your stomach is full of my cum."

Poe warned as his breath got ragged and he suddenly plunged his cock all the way down your throat, making you gag as he came down your throat.

He released you and you got back up, turning around and ready to leave.

"Where do you think you're going? I didn't say we are finished here. I'm not done with you yet. Come back here."

Poe stood up and walked towards you.

"But you just came." you protested and he chuckled,

"And? Did I say you could leave? We're not finished. Not by a long shot, sweetheart."

Poe grabbed you and pushed you against the wall face first.

"This is a lesson in obedience after all." he leaned close and unfastened your uniform pants, pulling them down along with your panties.

"You know, maybe I will keep you in my squadron. See how you will be become my good little girl and follow your Commander's orders like you should."

he reached out and stroked your clit rythmically, the pace increasing stroke after stroke.

Your moans filled the room and Poe soon pushed two fingers inside you after you were dripping onto the ground beneath you.

"Yes, keep moaning, let the whole base hear how much of a good girl you are for me." He incouraged, your breath getting ragged as you felt your orgasm approach.

Poe felt your cunt clench around his fingers, but his pace only slowed down momentarilly as you came down from the orgasm.

He kept pumping his fingers in and out of you, slowly. Your poor pussy was overstimulated, you couldn't take anymore and Poe suddenly removed his fingers.

"Now I think you're wet enough."

Poe was already stroking his once again hard cock.

"What do you mea--" you got cut of by the sudden intrusion of his big cock into your overstimulated entrance.

Poe leaned in close, "Ohhhh, your pussy isn't going to be spared from my cock." he drawled out and leaned down towards your neck, kissing and sucking on the skin. Then he suddenly bit down.

You gasped, and squeezed him in response which made him groan.

"Fuck, you're so tight, honey." his thrusts were slow at first, but he quickly increased the pace as he heard your moans and whimpers getting more needily.

His grip on your hips got tighter and his thrusts harder and faster.

You felt your second orgasm build up, making you arch your back into him and your moans getting louder.

"I knew you would love my cock, baby. But Don't worry, you will get more of me."

Poe felt himself getting close again too, and soon enough he buried his whole girth inside you and came hard. He buried his face into the crook of your neck as his breath slowly returned to normal. He pulled out and handed you some tissue to clean yourself up. Poe cleaned himself up too and put himself back into his boxers.

Poe turned his attention back to you, watching as you pulled your panties and pants back up.

"You better listen to me from now on and do what I say. Because if not, then this will be a common thing." He waited for your answer.

"Yes." You nodded weakly.

"Good." With a satisfied nod, Poe unlocked the door and stepped out, leaving you there overstimulated but satisfied.

#oh my god what have i created #dark poe dameron #dark!poe dameron #poe dameron smut #poe dameron x reader smut #poe dameron x reader #poe dameron #star wars #oscar isaac

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skywlker-sluvtt · 1 year

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jealousy angry sex to fluff what do you think I really love a jealous ani like in the clone wars

I adore jealous clone wars Anakin. The whole Padme and Clovis thing was just so 🤤 especially when Anakin beat the shit outta him. Here's a lil headcanon-y piece. I went a lil overboard but...I kinda like it 🫣 I hope you enjoy lovey.

Warnings: degrading, dirty talk, no protection (please be safe), spanking, possessive asf behaviour, and more 18+!!!

Word Count: 1.5k

༄ؘ ۪۪۫۫ ▹▫◃ ۪۪۫۫ ༄ؘ

➮ Anakin is so vocally jealous. He’s a cocky ass hole and he will talk to the person flirting with you in the most condescending way ever and it gets on everyone’s nerves.

➮ He’s just so possessive of you and wishes you just wore a sticker on your shirt saying “Anakin’s my husband go away” so everyone fucks off. He also starts getting annoyed at you if you seem to be entertaining someone's flirtatious behaviour. Anakin’s watching you with some douchebag and he’s thinking “Yeah I bet that dick head can’t make you cum as good as I can” cause his mind goes straight to sex.

➮ It starts with his firm assertive ‘I’m the most powerful Jedi in the galaxy, fear me fucker’ voice. He stands up straight, with crossed arms and a clenched jaw as he storms over to retrieve you. (this part is incredibly sexy because he’s so hot and jealous)

➮ You can just feel the envy radiating off his body and you almost enjoy it. Anakin will make some shitty excuse to take you away making it somewhat obvious you’re his and only his. He’ll firmly grab your arm basically pulling you away from the guy. Anakin shares his partner with no one. If anyone is even talking to you with any kind of suggestive tone Anakin will go for their throat and sometimes it can be a little embarrassing if he makes it seem like you can’t take care of yourself.

➮ “Anakin! That was humiliating I can look out for myself I don’t need you constantly lurking around me asshole” You complain pacing your shared bedroom. “Oh I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to embarrass you in front of your new boyfriend,” He says sarcastically. “You possessive jealous little boy. Get over yourself” You roll your eyes frustrated with his behaviour, but knowing where it will get you is the real goal here 🤭

➮ “Possessive? I’ll show you possessive” He growls standing up and towering over you. His large muscular frame is just too much to deal with. He grabs your face gripping your jaw to make you look at him. “Do you not value my protection love?” He asks his eyes are dark with lust. “I don’t need you over my shoulder constantly” You huff. “You’re so naive Y/N” He states. You turn your head avoiding his dangerous gaze. “Darling, who do you belong to?” He asks in such a fake-sweet-sounding tone. This is when he decides he’ll just fuck the bratty attitude out of you. “I don’t belong to anyone” You reply. He scoffs before pressing a hard, lewd kiss to your lips.

➮ Knowing what’s coming next you return the kiss threading your fingers through his hair as you both fight for control in the kiss. His tongue dominates yours and he pulls away smirking. “Strip for me, then get on the bed” Anakin whispers lowly in your ear giving your ass a smack and you’re quick to do as he says. As you take your panties off he snatches them from you. “Hey!” You try to grab them back and he smirks. “I think I might keep these in case I have to gag you” He replies swinging them around his finger and making you turn bright red.

➮ He’s the kind of guy to act fake sweet and humiliate you before angry fucking you till you can’t cum anymore.

➮ Slowly, you get on the bed as he takes off his own robes. “Touch yourself” He states still standing at the end of the bed. “What?” You reply shocked by his request. “Touch. Your. Self. Don’t make me repeat myself” He says again as you hesitantly move your hand down to your dripping heat. Biting your lip you slowly begin to circle your swollen cunt and Anakin can’t help but smirk watching the way your eyebrows are drawn together and the breathy moans you let out. “For someone who doesn’t need me you’re soaked princess” He sneers coming even closer to you, his eyes trained on your pussy. “Not for you” You reply. “Really?” Anakin laughs. “Should I leave? Maybe I’ll find someone at a bar who wants me” He sighed getting up. “N-No, no Anakin I-I didn’t mean it,” You whine reaching up to grab his arm and pull him back.

➮ He puts you on your back and cages you between his arms. “That’s what I thought, you're just my needy little slut aren’t you,” He chuckled, the sound of his breathy laughter making you rub your thighs together in pleasure. “I am” You whimper pulling him down for kisses. You yelp as he flips you on your stomach and roughly squeezes your ass while kissing your neck and back. Anakin’s a sloppy messy bitch and decides to lick up your spine and make you squirm first. “Ass up,” He says firmly. You shift positions gently and he gives you a few hard spanks making you moan.

➮ “God you’re so easy,” He tells you grabbing your hips and pushing his hard cock inside of you. “You just love all this attention don’t you, is that why you flirt with these creeps? You’re an attention whore huh?” He asked. You stay silent and he grabs a handful of your hair tugging you upward and keeping your back to his chest. “Answer me” He whispers biting your earlobe. “Yes” Is all you whisper wiggling your hips desperate for him to move. “Please Ani” You continue before he lets you go and starts fucking you at a merciless pace letting out his pent-up anger on your tight pussy.

➮ You’re whining into a pillow moaning at how deep he is inside of you. Anakin’s hands gripping your hips, his cold metal hand probably leaving marks. “You like it when I fuck you, dumb sweetheart, I bet your boyfriend couldn’t make you feel this good” Anakin grins in your ear. “H-He’s not my b-b-boyfriend” You stutter barely being able to speak from pleasure. “I’m the only person that can turn you into such a dumb cock drunk whore” Anakin continues his dirty talk the whole time.

➮Then he reaches down and grabs your throat pulling you back into him. You let out a loud moan at the angle change and he’s holding you up tight against him while he’s fucking you. “Ani” You whimper and he gently squeezed your airway closed. “Good girl taking me so fucking well” He rasped. He lets go of your throat he uses that hand to play with your clit. “Tell me who owns this pretty little cunt baby” His sadistic grin is crazyyy. “You do Anakin! You” “Mhm yeah I do”

➮ “Please l-let me cum Ani I promise I’m yours all yours” You moan before he flips you on your back. Anakin loves the sight of you all messy and sweaty desperate for his dick. “Good girl, you are mine. You don’t need anyone else” He continues fucking back into you causing you to start scratching his back. “I’ll make sure they all fucking know your mine” He groans leaning down to suck the biggest, purple hickeys across your neck to get his point across. “Cum on my cock sweetheart,” He says licking across the marks. “Anakin! Oh, fuck Anakin” You moan coming undone around him quivering in ecstasy. “Mhm, baby I’m gonna cum so deep inside you, get you all p-pregnant with my child. No one will ever touch you if you see you big and fucking swollen with my baby” He growls before finishing deep inside of you.

➮ Afterwards he goes all soft on you. “I love you so much” He whispers so softly making you grin at his sudden change in tone. “You know that?” He asks. “Course I do…I love you too” Laying beside you he smiles and presses the softest kisses to your face. “Y’know I don’t mean any of that right?” He makes sure. “I know, it’s fun” You grin squeezing his bicep. “Let me get you cleaned up pretty girl” He grins.

➮ He’s quickly cleaning you up and getting you a cold glass of water. Eventually, you’re just cuddled up to his chest as he strokes your hair. “I’m sorry for getting so jealous. I just hate seeing other guys talk to you like that. I know you can handle yourself…I just like protecting you” He blushes. “It’s okay, I like how possessive you are Skywalker. It’s cute” “I’m not possessive, I just love you” Anakin whispers kissing your temple making you giggle. He he fully believes with his whole heart he is not possessive, but like bro he so is “Don’t laugh at me” He grins kissing his cheek. “Love you Ani…m’all yours,” You say softly. “I’m all yours too” Anakin replies pecking your lips once more.

#anakin skywalker #anakin #anakin smut #anakin headcanons #anakin fic #anakin x you #anakin x reader #ani wani #tcw anakin #jealous anakin #anakin angst #star wars fic #star wars smut #sw prequels

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doukeshi-kun · 6 months

Text

𝙙𝙖𝙙!𝙣𝙞𝙠𝙤𝙡𝙖𝙞 + 𝙩𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙤𝙤

featuring ⨳ dad!nikolai gogol x fem!reader

content ⨳ fluff, a bit suggestive, tattooed!nikolai, oc kids (yuri, mari, karol)

notes ⨳ this has been marinated for a while... i finally did something with it :D i'm proud of myself

Something very attractive appears when your husband is sitting at the dining table, without a shirt, with his tattooed arms on display. You cannot take your eyes off Nikolai at all. He doesn't seem to notice you are staring at him as he is munching on his rice, eyes on the television.

“What's wrong, love?” Nikolai suddenly asks, turning his head to you and you quickly avert your gaze away, flustered.

“No! Nothing, nothing.” you laugh awkwardly as you continue to chop the bananas to drizzle them with chocolate sauce for Yuri who is sitting beside you.

“Really? Hey, Yurochka. Did mama stare at me or something?” Nikolai grins teasingly. Yuri seems surprised by his question and he looks at you before he looks at his dad.

He nods. “Yes, for three minutes."

“Yuri…! You are supposed to be lying!” you screech but Yuri pouts.

“You said it's not good to lie,”

“Well, that's because your dad—” you glare at Nikolai. “—gave you the wrong advice about lying.” you huff, embarrassed. You finish chopping the bananas and drizzle them with chocolate sauce before you give the small bowl to Yuri. Yuri takes it, wanting to eat it right away but he seems to realise an incoming, so he quickly hugs the bowl, dashing to the living room.

“Wah! Yurochka! Banana!” Karol is waddling to the dining area with a colouring book in hand. Mari is running towards him, whining and almost crying.

Nikolai frowns, seeing Mari is tearing up and Karol is now waddling towards you to demand a bowl of banana for himself. He figures that Karol probably bothers her again and while he doesn't really mind them bantering, it does make him uneasy when he sees Mari crying.

“Mama! Mam! Banana please! Banana for Karol!” Karol is trying to climb up your chair. You try to keep him on the ground, worried that he might get hurt.

“Karol.”

A stern voice from Nikolai is enough for Karol to stand straight and look at his dad. “Give back Mari's book and then you can get your banana chocolate.”

You are used to Nikolai's happy voice and jokester persona. Years of being in a relationship with him do reveal more layers of himself to you. But there's always something about Nikolai being stern (mostly to Karol) and authoritative.

God, it actually makes you flustered and all giddy inside.

Karol coos sadly as Mari approaches him. Nikolai pats her head as Karol reluctantly returns the book to her. “Say sorry, Karol,” Nikolai says and Karol pouts.

“Karol sorry…”

Mari huffs, seeming to be sulky still. Nikolai gently reassures her and she softens quickly. She then silently sits on a chair beside him and starts colouring in her book, focused on an unfinished drawing because she got interrupted by Karol.

“Mama, make him some banana chocolate. Karol, come here.” Nikolai says to you before he pats his lap and Karol waddles to him. Nikolai bends a bit to get him up his lap and takes one of Mari's glittered markers before giving it to Karol. He puts his arm which is tattooed with some geometrical design in front of Karol. Karol gasps happily before he tries his hardest to take off the lid of the marker. He hovers over Nikolai's arm and starts colouring and filling in the lines of his tattoos.

“He likes to colour a lot. I think he wants to be an artist. Don't you see the vision?”

“Huh?”

Nikolai chuckles, seeing your flabbergasted face. He knows you have been staring with something in your gaze. He repeats his words and you nod with an agreement ‘Ooh’.

“Yeah, he definitely likes colouring. Mari is still at her second colouring book and Karol already coloured five books by now… well… he probably can be a future tattoo artist.” you look at how focused Karol is while trying to fill the lines of Nikolai's tattoo carefully. Even his little tongue is sticking out, showing how focused he is.

“Awh, that's cute.” Nikolai cackles before he pats Karol's head, kissing it. “You're gonna give me free tattoos every Saturday right?”

“Waoh? No! No free! Papa give me… uh… uh… one bili dollars!”

You giggle at Nikolai's snort. Karol is just happy returning to his little artist moment. Nikolai turns to you, smiling slyly.

“Whatcha looking at now? Didn't I tell you to make him some banana chocolate?” he says, voice deep and teasing. You grumble but your hand reaches a banana from the table anyway.

He should give you more commands, maybe.

©doukeshi-kun 2023 — do not copy, plagiarize and repost my works to any platform, more @/cherikolya

if you like my works, consider buy me a ko-fi!

#道化師-jest❃ུ۪ #bsd x reader #nikolai x reader #nikolai gogol x reader #bsd imagines #nikolai imagines #nikolai fluff #bsd fluff #bungou stray dogs x reader #bungo stray dogs x reader #bsd nikolai x reader #bsd nikolai gogol

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sturniozo · 1 month

Text

Our Lips Are Sealed VI

Masterlist

The car ride home was silent. My dad had decided very early in the morning to wake me up and take me home. The sun was barely even coming up when I was dragged out of bed. I guess my dad decided he just couldn’t wait to get me out of the house. He just couldn’t wait to get rid of me for good.

I keep staring out the window during the silent drive. I wonder if Nate or my mom are even awake right now. Honestly, it wouldn’t surprise me if Nate hasn’t even gone to sleep yet. He probably spent the whole night staying up and playing Fortnite with Matt and Nick.

Chris had stayed up almost all night with me. He stayed on the phone with me until we both fell asleep, something we used to do all the time. Chris and I had spent almost every night on the phone together almost two years ago, but I had stopped it from happening again once I had realized my feelings for him.

I hadn’t noticed when my dad had pulled into the driveway. He snapped me out of my thoughts by shouting.

“We’re here, did you not fucking notice?” He says loudly. I flinch slightly.

“Sorry, dad, I was just a bit tired.” I mumble and open the door to get out.

“I’m tired too, you think I wanted to get up at the crack of dawn to take your ass home?” My dad says spitefully.

“I didn;t ask you to, I was supposed to stay until Sunday night.” I tell him.

“Well last night you couldn’t wait to go home!” He shouts.

“I didn’t want to go!” Tears fill my eyes. “You never listen to me.” I step out of the truck.

“You were a lot easier to listen to when you were five and all it took was a doll to make you happy. Now I can never make you happy, no matter how hard I try. You’re just like your mother!”

I slam the door of my dad’s truck loudly and make my way to the front door of my house. I see the light from Nate’s room turn on from the upstairs window. His shadow makes its way to pull the curtain where he sees me walking to the door. He quickly moves away from the window and leaves his room. He makes it to the front door as I do, indicating he ran to the door.

“Is everything alright?” Nate asks as he watches my dad pull out of the driveway.

I just nod, hiding my face so he doesn’t see my tears. Nate wraps his arm around my shoulders and pulls me inside with him, closing the door behind us. We sit down on the couch and I finally look at Nate. His face softens as he sees my tear stained face.

“Tell me what happened?” Nate asks.

I take a deep breath to calm myself down as I begin to tell Nate everything that happened. Everything that happened with my dad over the weekend, or just the one night I spent there. Once I had finished explaining everything Nate pulled me in for a hug.

Nate’s always been a good brother. A nice brother that I could always count on when I needed anything. “Everything will be okay.” He mumbles against my shoulder as we hug. I pull away and wipe off my face. “It’s okay, hey, it's okay.” Nate repeats. “Do you need anything?”

“No,” I say. “I’m fine, really. I wasn’t going to go back anyways.” I shrug it off.

“Yeah, but you still like your dad, at least a little bit.” Nate laughs softly.

“You never talk to your dad anymore. It’s been like, what, two years?” I snort.

Nate scoffs. “My dad is a piece of work.”

“Piece of shit’s more like it.” I say, which causes Nate to laugh softly.

“Yeah, it is.” He smiles and leans back against the couch. “You never got to meet him and know just how true that is, though.”

I lean back against the couch with Nate. “No, but I got to hear you talk shit every time you came home.”

“Those stories were watered down versions.” Nate mumbles.

I sigh and close my eyes. “I didn’t mean to piss my dad off so bad.”

“I know.” Nate says. “Do you want breakfast?”

I shake my head. “Not really. I just want to go to sleep. Dad woke me up early.”

“Okay.” Nate mumbles.

I sit up from the couch and pick up my bag, going to walk up the stairs.

“I’ll wake you up in a few hours, when Nick, Matt, and Chris get here.” Nate says as he follows me up the stairs.

“Nick, Matt, and Chis are coming over?” I ask.

“Yeah, they were gonna spend the night here before we go camping for your birthday tomorrow.” Nate says, stopping at the door to his room.

“Well thats nice I guess.” I mumble as I stop at my door.

“What, you suddenly don’t like them?” Nate laughs.

“What? No, I love them like they’re my brothers.” I laugh.

“Good, because they are.” Nate leans against his door.

“What?” I ask.

“I- I don’t want you to see them as anything but your friends, brothers. Nothing more.” Nate says.

“I don’t, they’re just friends to me. Brothers.”

“Good.”

“Whats this about?” I ask.

Nate just sighs. “Nothing, just… Just get some sleep. You need it, you look like shit.”

I snort. “You’re one to talk.”

“Hey!” Nate laughs. “I’m always looking great.”

“You always look like shit.”

“That’s a lie.”

“Stinky boy.” I tease.

“Go to bed, before I tell Chris about your doll collection.” Nate crosses his arms.

“Good night!” I say with a laugh and open my door, walking into my room. I plop down onto my bed, tossing my bag onto the floor. I kick off my shoes and shimmy up to my pillows, snuggling against my stuffed animals. It doesn’t take me long to pass out.

I’m unsure of just how long it had been since I had fallen asleep, but I’m awoken by the weight of four nineteen year old boys doggy piling on top of me. Chris was at the bottom, right above me, supporting the weight of all of them so I wasn’t absolutly crushed to death.

“Jesus!” I wheeze out. “What’s wrong with you guys?”

Nate laughs from the top of the pile. “You would’t wake up.” He says.

“Yeah,” Chris chimes in. “ We thought this would wake you up.”

“What, killing me?” I wheeze out a laugh. “Get off me, before I become like that kid from the weird book we read in elementary school.”

Nate flops off the top of the pile, followed by Nick, and then Matt. Leaving Chris hovering over me.

“You too.” Nate says sternly.

Chris says nothing as he sits up and steps off my bed. I turn over to face the boys in my bedroom. “What time is it?” I ask.

“Almost noon.” Matt replies.

“Oh, so early.” I mumble and sit up.

“Yeah, extra early.” Nate sits on the bed ext to me. “Get some breakfast or something so we can start packing for the camping trip.”

I groan and lay back down. “Five more minutes.”

Chris takes my hands and pulls me back up. “You’ve had six hours.” He laughs.

“Come on,” Nick says. “We convinced your mom to let us start the camping trip a day early.”

“What?” I ask as I sit up straight.

“Yeah.” Chris smiles at me. “We’re leaving tonight.”

TAGS: @urfavpouge @savageking3 @tastesousweet @jko3005 @sturniolo0ntop @dwalk41202 @stvrnise @iloveneilperry @luvmxtt @blueeyedbesson @iloveurgf @mattswifr @that-chris-girl01 @sturniolho @remussbitch @chrisstankyleg @bernardenjoyer @sturniolosreads @mbbsgf @xxsadlovexx @whicked-hazlatwhore @sturnsgirl @keira324 @stuniolobbg @timmyscomputer @meg-sturniolo @sturnioloenthusiast @nickdevora @hearts4chris @carolinalikesthings @mattscokewhore @tillies33ssss @junnniiieee07

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hearts4golbach · 2 months

Text

The Night Shift.

Johnnie Guilbert x Fem!Reader.

chapter 13.

it was another night in the cafe, the same routine seemed to be never ending. as i scrubbed the counter down after spilling my own drink, i thought about Johnnie. i didn't want to have my hopes up that he'd continue to come and see me every night, so i had myself convinced i'd only see him a couple times this week, if even at all. i scrubbed the counter until it sparkled, wanting to keep myself busy with anything i could. if Johnnie was up, he would've texted me. and if he is up and didn't, then that's fine. i kept telling myself the same thing to try and quiet my mind, but i gave in and just put in one of my headphones.

it was around 11 pm when a trio of girls stumbled into the cafe. 2 of them were very obviously under the influence while the other must've been the designated driver because she had a miserable look on her face. the sober girl shooed them off, telling them to go sit somewhere. she walked up to me with an exasperated smile. "you seem like you're having a great night." i say sarcastically, trying to lighten the mood.

she sighed, "yeah. so sorry if they cause any trouble." she says shyly.

"all good, what can i get for you?" the bell on the door rings as someone else walks in. i didn't glance over while i was listening to her order. whenever she was finished ordering snacks for her friends, she thanked me and went to sit with them.

johnnie walked up after her with a tired smile. "hey."

i tilted my head and smiled softly. "why don't you take melatonin or something? your sleep schedule must be shit if you come and see me every night." i tease

"i mean, it's worth it. in the day you're usually asleep." i looked at him, confused, "so i can't see you." he explained further, lightly laughing.

"well, i'm so glad you come see me so often," i smile, but my mood immediately flipped as someone else walked in. a sweet looking old lady stood behind johnnie in the line. "you ordering anything?"

"probably not tonight. i just planned on seeing if i could talk to you for a bit." he moved out of the way and went to sit at his usual table. after i served this customer, i planned on going to sit with him.

"hello, ma'am. what can i get for you?" i repeated the words i had at least a hundred times in the past month. as she went through her order, i took a couple glances around the cafe. johnnie sat on his phone, leaving back in the chair lazily. meanwhile, one of the intoxicated girls was really eyeing him. it looked as if she was undressing him with her eyes, and i hated it. i watched as she turned to her friend and whispered before smiling and blushing and looking back at him. i think i visibly rolled my eyes.

"that'll be all!" her bottom lip slightly quivered as she smiled.

"i'll have that right out for you." i walked over to our case of pastries, occasionally taking glances back at the girl. she seemed to be scheming something. i collected her two cheese danishes before going off to make her vanilla latte. i set her things on the counter in front of where she was standing before telling her the total. she paid and went on her merry way.

i exited from behind the counter and sat across from johnnie. whenever he realized i was done, he shut off his and fixed his posture to face me correctly. "seems like a busy ass night."

"yeah, i mean, luckily i get off at, like, 3." which was about 3 hours before the day shift started. johnnie nodded. i watched as the same girl walked up behind johnnie. she had long, red, pin straight hair and the cutest freckles i had ever seen, which almost made me mad. she was beautiful, and if she was about to hit on johnnie, i didn't stand a chance compared.

she tapped on his shoulder while staring me dead in the eyes. " hi, i'm amelia." she smiled sweetly, sticking out her hand to johnnie.

"hi," johnnie replied, sounding confused but not taking her hand. him not taking her hand made me want to smile, but it was such a small gesture, i convinced myself it was nothing.

she cleared her throat as she put her hand down. "well, i think you're really cute," she blushed, "can i get your number?" her hand grazed his shoulder.

he slightly furrowed his eyebrows, glancing towards me before turning back to her. "i'm not looking for a relationship right now, no thanks." he said nonchalantly before turning back to me. she opened her mouth to say something but ultimately walked back to her seat without saying a word. "did i ever get your tiktok? i wanna send you shit." he immediately changed the subject.

"no, one sec." i pulled up tiktok and showed him my username. as he was looking me up, o began to spam text jake.

me: jake

me: jakeee

me: jake!!!

and so on for at least 30 seconds before he texted me back.

jake: whaaat why can't i sleep D:

me: because this girl was tryna get his number but he said he's not looking for a relationship is that true???

jake: i can't say much but that is not the case for that inbred

me: well damn good but what 😭

jake: is that it

jake: can i sleep now 🙃

me: yes get your beauty sleep cause you need it lol

jake: girl have you seen me?? gn

me: lol night

i turned off my phone and looked at johnnie, feeling much better. "you find it?"

"damn, sorry, i'm slow." he smiled awkwardly, a blush growing on his face. i smiled back.

#fanfiction #fanfic #johnnie guilbert #jake and johnnie #jake webber #johnnie guilbert x you #johnnie guilbert x reader #cafe aesthetic #cafe #tara yummy

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vivian-pascal · 3 months

Text

Rainy days ║chapter 2 ║

skies under the stars.

dbf!joel x f!reader

summary: When Joel invites you and your dad to come on a vacation with him and Sarah to a beach house for a couple days, you thought it would be relaxing and you wouldn't see Joel that much, well, let's just say, you two get a little too close for comfort.

warnings: sexual tension, mention of period products, unspecified age gap, description of readers clothes and swimsuit, f!masturbation, use of toy, praising.

Its been two weeks. Two weeks since he had called you out on fucking yourself in his home. Two weeks since he had kissed just under your earlobe and made you stand all alone in your driveway flustered. Two weeks since you last saw him.

You sit on your bed trying to finish a collage assignment they had given you before you left but his words keep repeating over and over again in your head. It's like you can't escape him. His hands on your skin, his soft lips on your neck. "Fuck this." You slam your hands down on your keyboard and shut your laptop.

You hear a faint knock on your door and sit up straight. "Yes?" You ask quietly. The door opens and it's just your dad. "Hey hon, heard some noise in here, you alright?" He sits down on the bed next to you and pats your leg. "Yeah, sorry just this assignment I have to complete and i'm really stressed about it." You weren't.

"Well, how about we go on a little vacation? I know you seem to be a little stressed this past week and I think you could use a break." He says sweetly. You do think you could use a break, all the pent up emotions from Joel and stress about college, it could do you some good to get away for a bit.

"Sure! Where would we go?" He moves closer to you and sets the laptop further away. "Well, Joel invited us to come with him and Sarah to a beach, he rented a beach house and said it would be a lot of fun. Whatcha think?"

Your brain seems to stop. Joel? A beach? Oh god. You can't even begin to think what your feeling right now. "Honey?" your dad interrupts your thoughts with a soft pat to your hand.

"Oh, uhm, sure." You smile awkwardly and give him a nod. "Great!" Your dad says with a smile. "I'll give him a call." And with that, he leaves the room and closes the door.

"Shit." You run your hands through your hair and lay back staring up at the ceiling. The fuck am i getting myself into?

The next morning you begin to pack your things. When you look in the top drawer of your bedside table, you find something. A vibrator. You look at your bag and then to the little pink toy in your hand. You stare at it for a moment. Fuck it. You put it in your toiletries bag and zip it up.

You walk over to your closet and pick out a swimsuit, you stuff it in your bag, not realizing what kind you grabbed of course, and head into your bathroom.

You grab your toothbrush and some toothpaste along with pads and some tampons, just in case.

You walk back into your room and rummage through your clothes. You pack some leggings, a sweater, an over sized shirt and some shorts. Before heading downstairs, you make sure to grab some underwear and socks.

Once downstairs, you put your bag next to the front door and begin to make breakfast. You decide on a fresh fruit salad to begin the morning with. You chop some strawberries up along with some grapes and put them in a bowl. You also add some banana and apples.

"Morning sunshine." Your dad says as he makes his way downstairs with a backpack. "Morning." He puts his bag next to yours and heads into the kitchen. "You excited?" He asks smiling. Sure, you could use the break and it could be fun but you're not sure how cold the ocean is. The winters in Austin weren't that cold, but the ocean certainly was.

"Yep, how long's the drive?" You ask while eating another spoonful of your salad. "Oh I assume about three hours. Not too long." Your dad begins to make his morning coffee and puts it in his 'to go' mug.

Once your done eating, you walk over to the sink and put your bowl down. Then you walk to the front door and grab your bags.

"I'm just gonna put these bags in the back." You say carrying the bags out while opening the front door. "Oh, no, wait a second."Your dad comes out and checks his phone. "Joel's gonna pick us up, we're goin' with him." What.

Just as your about to reply, you hear a car begin to pull up behind you. When you turn around, you can see Joel and Sarah in the truck.

Sarah gets out of the car and begins to run straight towards you. She crashes into you with a massive hug. "Hey!! I missed you so much, this trip is going to be amazing!!" She squeals in excitement. You bring her in for another hug as you both giggle.

You see Joel from the corner of your eye but make no notice at going over to him. Sarah grabs your arm and begins to drag you to the truck. "Cmon, we can sit in the back while our boring dads sit in the front." You both chuckle and begin to get in.

Joel and your dad get the bags and throw them in the back. Your dad gets in the passenger side while Joel gets in the drivers. You both quickly make eye contact through the mirror before you go back to talking with Sarah. Joel starts the engine and begins to drive.

About an hour into the trip, Joel makes a pit stop at a corner store and all of you head in. You follow Sarah towards the bathrooms while your dad and Joel make way for the snacks and beers.

"Oh shit." You look towards what Sarah is talking about and see a big sign on the womens bathroom. "Looks like the womens are closed, we're gonna have to use the family bathroom, together." She trails off the end of her sentence with a smirk. You both burst out laughing and continue to giggle.

"Good one Sarah, i mean, i wouldn't mind but i'll wait out here f'ya." She gives you a shrug and heads in. "Suit yourself." You chuckle at her remark as you get your phone from your pocket.

You're too invested in whatever video you were watching to notice that someone had come up right next to you. As soon as you smelled that musky cologne and woody scent, you knew exactly who it was. Joel miller.

You look up at him and he gives you a sly smirk. You look back down at your phone and try not to seem so nervous. It wasn't that big of a deal that the first day you were back he caught you fucking yourself right?

"Haven't heard from ya in a while." You breath in deeply. "How've ya been darlin'." Damn that pet name. You didn't think you would miss it as much as you did. You've just got here and now your yearning for a man's touch you can't have.

"I'm okay." You say keeping your eyes glued to your phone. He chuckles then leans in closer. He's so close you can physically feel the heat radiating off of him. Just as he's about to say something, the bathroom door opens and he backs off quickly.

"Hey, it's all yours if you need to use it. Hi dad." Sarah looks at her dad and gives him a smile. "No, it's okay, I think i'm good." You give her a nod and walk with her to your dad. You look back at Joel and catch him looking at you. This is going to be a long trip.

After three hours of driving, you arrive at the beach house. When you look out the window and see the house, your mouth drops in shock. The house is absolutely gorgeous. It has a giant balcony and two sets of stairs leading to the front door and the side door.

Joel parks the truck and you all get out. He walks towards the back and just barely skims your arm, making you shiver all over.

"Alright, i'll grab your bags, you girls head in and explore." Your dad gives a reassuring smile as you and Sarah walk up the stairs and into the house. You walk around for a little bit and both squeal in excitement when you see that it has a giant pool in the back with a hot tub and a barbecue.

When you walk upstairs, you easily claim the first room. It overlooks the backyard and Sarah's room is right across from yours. When you guys walk downstairs, Joel and your dad had brought your bags in and set them in the kitchen. You walk to grab yours and head back upstairs.

You could hear your dad and Joel talking as they went and sat on the couch while you and Sarah unpacked in your rooms. You opened the zipper and pulled the first thing out. It was your swimsuit. Your mouth dropped in horror since you didn't realize you'd grabbed this suit.

It was a small bikini, a skimpy little thing. The top had two small strings attached to two tiny triangles leaving much to imagination. When you held the bottoms up, you sighed in disbelief. It had the smallest piece of fabric with no back, just strings.

"Holy fuck." You looked at it once more than threw it across the room. It's not that you didn't like the suit, it's just you had worn that on your very last day at home before college at your family cook-out, and so many men tried to hit you up because they just wanted a quick fuck, you got sick of it.

You remind yourself that you need to buy a new swimsuit whilst you're here and you go back to unpacking. You throw all your clothes in the top drawer of your dresser and put your little pink toy in the first drawer of your night stand.

You get changed into an oversized shirt and some boy shorts and head downstairs. Sarah and her dad are sat on the couch watching tv and you could see Joel staring at you. "Hey, do you wanna come watch tv with us?" Sarah looked over at you, hoping you'd join them. You assumed your dad had already gone to bed and walked into the kitchen.

"Sorry Sarah, i'm really tired and could use some sleep, it's been a long day." You gave her a frown and grabbed a glass from the cabinet and began to fill it. "Boring." Sarah rolled her eyes and slumped back down.

"I think i'm gonna head up too, maybe we all should go, c'mon Sarah." Joel turned the tv off and grabbed onto Sarah's arm. "It's only like 11, it's so early." Joel rolled his eyes and walked into the kitchen, downing the rest of his whiskey and putting the empty glass next to the sink.

"C'mon now, get to bed, i ain't gonna wrestle you t'sleep." Sarah giggled as she ran upstairs, in hopes to get away from her dad. You grabbed your glass and began to head up with him. As you turned into your room, you looked back at Joel and gave him a subtle smile. He gave you a nod and headed to his room.

You walked in and shut the door. You put the glass on top of your dresser and walked over to your bed. You got in and turned the light off. You were wide awake. You tossed and turned and listened to the crickets outside and the whistling of the trees. This all felt too familiar. Fuck this.

You reached over and opened your bedside drawer. You pulled the vibrator out and layed back. You trailed it down your body and into your shorts. You made sure to have it on the lowest setting, as to make sure it didn't make that much noise.

Once it was on, you groaned as it made contact with your clit. You reached under your shirt and began to toy with your nipples. You moaned quietly as you turned it on at a higher speed. The motion and the speed was just right as you squirmed at the feeling. You bit your lip as you reached up to hold onto the headboard as you began to grind against the toy.

You felt your orgasm begin and covered your mouth at the feeling. You close your eyes as you move the toy up and down your clit. You bite your lip as your orgasm is right there and your about to come-

"Oh fuck- shit, Joel, I-" The door opened. It was Joel. He stood in the doorway, bare chested, just in his boxers. He walked into the room and shut the door. "I'm sorry Joel i didn't think-" He walked over to you and sat on the bed.

It was quiet. The soft humming of the vibrator and the low whistles of your breaths. He shook his head and chuckled. You quickly turned the vibrator off and looked at him confused. "Well well darlin;." He looks over at you with a grin. "That's the second time, ain't it sugar?" He slowly begins to crawl over you and you lie back.

He's just mere inches from your face as he brings his hand up to your ear and tucks a hair away. "Need a little help there sweetheart?" He looked down at your hand that held the little pink toy and you nodded in desperation. What the fuck is about to happen?

"You have some goddamn manners, dontcha baby?" Those pets names are making you spiral out of control. You groan as he begins to grab the toy from your hand and move it to his face. He breaths in and moans at your smell.

He kicks the blankets from your body and moves to lie on his side. "Now i'm only here t'help ya darlin', so no touchin or kissin, ya hear me?" "Yes" You say with a shaky breath. "Good."

He moves the toy back between your legs and into your shorts. He turns it on the lowest setting and watches your reaction. You quietly moan at the feeling. "Be quiet, f'i hear any noise from ya, i'm leavin." He whispers into your ear as he drags the toy down to your weeping pussy and back to your clit.

He turns it on the second highest setting and you grab onto his arm. "Joel-" You know you shouldn't be touching him but you just can't help yourself. "There ya go darlin', doin so well." He toys one of his fingers at your entrance and pushes in. You whine as he curls his finger upwards. He then adds a second finger and you have to stop yourself from screaming.

His fingers feel so good inside of you, they're so big and they hit every angle just right. His fingers begin to move even faster and your mouth opens in a silent plea. "So fuckin tight baby." He turns the vibrator on the highest setting and moves his fingers faster.

You feel the coil in your stomach begin to tighten once more and you bury your head into his chest. He speeds up his movements and within seconds you're coming. You silently scream into his chest as your orgasm washes over you, "Good girl, good fuckin girl." He whispers against your hair as he slows his movement.

He removes his fingers and you groan at the loss. You watch as he slowly inserts his fingers into his mouth and sucks. He closes his eyes as he tastes you. He pulls his fingers out and sets his hand on the bed. "So sweet." He looks down at you and grins.

You could easily see the bulge in his boxers so you reach out to grab onto him. He closes his eyes and groans at your touch. "Now now sugar, I said no touchin." He takes your hand off of him and begins to get up. He gets to the door and grabs onto the door knob. "Hey Joel?" He looks at you. "Thanks." He looks down at the floor then to the handle. "This won't happen again, was just helpin"

He opens the door as quietly as he can then leaves.

Oh my god.

tags!!

@iamsherlocked-1998 @pinkcrystal44 @tupelomiss @simplewanderer @ursagittariusgirlfriend @amyispxnk @livingonthehems

#joel miller #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x you #dbf!joel #joel miller smut #joel miller x reader #pedro pascal #pedro pascal characters #joel miller x f!reader #joel the last of us

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babydollmarauders · 1 year

Note

I absolutely love the el!hughes series can you do a blurb of Jack and the team/ Hughes family finding out reader is in labor if not that is totally ok. Have a great day!!

i wasn’t sure how to write the devils finding out y/n is in labor because i already kinda knew how jack would find out and it didn’t match up with the team finding out, so i apologize and i hope you still like this! i might write another blurb in third person pov with the devils on call with jack and finding out!

———

i wasn’t even awake yet when my water broke. in fact, i woke up on wet sheets and to dull pain in my back and lower abdomen.

the baby isn’t due for another week, so immediately i assume that it’s braxton hicks contractions and that i accidentally peed myself while i slept, as i’ve heard it can happen to pregnant women.

i rise from the bed, deep breathing through my pain as i change the bed sheets, just glad Jack was at morning skate and wouldn’t be privy to my embarrassment.

padding down the hallway, i throw the old sheets in the washer before making my way back to Jack and i’s room and into the en suite bathroom. turning the shower water on warm, i strip my pajamas, determined to power through the pain.

it’s not long into my shower that i hear Jack enter the bathroom, obviously home from morning skate.

“hey, how was skate?” i ask him through glass shower walls while i rinse the conditioner out of my hair.

“it was good. i think we’ve got a high chance of beating them tonight.” he tells me. through the foggy glass i can see him sit on the bathroom counter top, not an unusual occurrence, as Jack often sits in here and converses with me while i shower.

“mother of hell!” i curse, grabbing at my bump as i hunch over in pain.

“woah, you okay? what’s wrong?” Jack jumps off the counter when i don’t respond, ripping the shower door open to look at me.

“it’s just braxton hicks. i’m fine, i just need to drink some water and put my feet up.” i tell him, turning off the shower water. he hands me my towel as i step out and holds me by my arm as i walk into our bedroom.

“are you sure? maybe we should go to the hospital.” he’s panicked, his words fast.

“seriously, Jacky, i’m okay. it’s my body, i think i would know if i was in labor.”

i get dressed as normal, Jack watching me worriedly as i do so, before making my way to the kitchen to eat some breakfast.

in the midst of pouring my cereal, the pain gets worse, and it’s at this moment when i decide that maybe i’m wrong. the pains aren’t as spaced out anymore, it’s possible i could be in labor. maybe it was actually my water breaking and i didn’t wet the bed. however, i refuse to go to the hospital before i can eat.

sitting at the table, i call out to my husband in between bites.

“Jack?”

“yeah, babe?” he’s sitting on the couch with Luke, watching Top Gun when he replies, his eyes never even leaving the screen.

“you should call your mom.” i tell him.

“hmm? why?” he keeps the same distracted tone, never looking away from the movie.

“because i’m in labor.”

“oh okay.” i can’t help but laugh, he obviously didn’t hear me or wasn’t paying enough attention. but Luke definitely did because he suddenly sits up straight on the couch, his head snapping to look over at me as he smacks Jack on the chest.

“ow, what?” Jack groans, finally tearing his eyes from the tv to look at his brother.

“you wanna ask your wife to repeat what she just said? because you obviously weren’t listening.” Luke says, nodding over to me. Jack turns to look at me as i shovel the last bite into my mouth.

“sorry, babe. what did you say?”

“i said you should call your mom.” i respond.

“yeah, i heard that. but, why?” he furrows his brows at me as i put my bowl in the sink, rinsing it out.

“because i’m in labor.” i repeat. his eyes grow wide as he shoots up from the couch.

“oh my god. do we have everything? did we even finish packing the hospital bag? we’re having a baby, holy shit.”

i’m about to speak up, but Luke beats me to it.

“bro, calm the fuck down! just take Lovie to the hospital. if there’s anything missing from the bag, i can bring it. just go!”

Jack nods, ushering me towards the front door as he grabs the hospital bag from our bedroom.

it doesn’t even seem like he’s calmed down once we arrive to the hospital. we sit in the waiting room for no longer than fifteen minutes before getting taken back to a private room. doctors and nurses rotate out of the room for a good hour before we’re finally able to relax.

“i should probably call my parents now? right?” he asks, sitting down on a small couch in the room. i nod, breathing through a contraction.

he calls Ellen. the phone rings a few times before the call connects and Jack switches it onto speaker.

“hey, sweetheart! you ready for your game?” she asks him.

“oh shit, i still need to call coach.” he looks over at me like a deer in headlights.

“what, honey? what do you mean?” Ellen chimes over the phone.

“uh, Lovie’s in labor, mom.”

“what?! i told your dad we should’ve come this week instead of next!” she chides. “how is y/n feeling? are you guys at the hospital yet?”

“she’s-” Jack looks back over to asses me and i give him a thumbs up. “good. she says she’s fine. yeah, we got here about an hour ago.”

“okay! i’m glad she’s feeling okay! your dad and i will be on the next flight we can get out there!”

“okay. i’ll see you then, mom. i gotta let coach know i can’t play tonight, so i gotta go.”

“okay, bye honey! see you as soon as i can!”

Jack sighs after he hangs up, holding his head in his hands.

“we’re gonna be parents.”

#el!hughes au #jack hughes x reader #ask faithlynn ✨

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freedomfireflies · 1 year

Note

hi! if you’re still taking requests could you please write something about being pregnant and you’re getting some hate from harry’s fanbase about your body and harry reassures you about how you’re beautiful and all that, maybe some smut if you can?? i’m feeling a bit insecure about my body today and i really wish i had someone to help me through that 😓 if you don’t want to no worries, i love your work 🫶🏻

I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to do this, but I hope it can help remind you exactly how wonderful, stunning, and loved you are!

“No.”

“Angel…just come here—”

“I said no.”

Harry’s eyes narrow playfully as he regards you from the bed. “Baby, if I have to pick you up and carry you back over, I promise you aren’t gonna like what happens next.”

You snort from your place inside the closet, although truth be told, you don’t doubt that he will. “I’ll be there in a second, okay—”

“No, not okay. I want you here now,” he insists, and you suck in a quiet breath as your lids squeeze shut, willing yourself not to cry.

After a moment or two, you turn around and face him, taking a hesitant step closer as he offers a sympathetic smile.

“Good girl,” he murmurs. “That’s it, come on. Right here.”

He pats his parted thighs until you slip yourself between them. And once you do, he takes hold of your hips and keeps you firmly planted to your spot.

“Now…tell me what’s going on up here, hm?” he whispers, reaching up to tap his finger along your temple. “Tell me, Angel.”

A beat as you debate how much to share. “It's...nothing. Really,” you sigh, not exactly in the mood to divulge the abuse your mind has been putting you through for the past few days.

Well…weeks, actually. Months. Years.

“Eh, wrong,” he declares teasingly. “Try again.”

You look down at him, throat burning from the force of attempting to keep yourself together. “I just…I don’t know. I can’t seem to find anything to wear that I feel…good in.”

His playful attitude seems to diminish, brows pulling together as his lips purse and he looks up at you. “S’your mind being mean to you again?”

“Probably,” you mumble, glancing down at his shirt, hoping to focus on that instead. The look in his eye isn't helping the pit in your stomach. “Or maybe I’m just finally seeing myself for what I am.”

“And what are you?”

You tangle your fingers in the material on his chest. Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry. “I’m exactly who they said I was.”

“Who?”

You go quiet, not exactly thrilled with the idea of reliving it.

“Who, Angel?” he repeats a bit sterner, shaking your hips once.

You roll your lips into your mouth. “The comments. All the comments. Everywhere. Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, Tumblr. At your shows, on the street, from some of those girls at the party. They’ve made it very clear that I’m not your type and I just…I don’t know. I guess I didn’t see it before, or I didn’t want to see it before but now I do, and I just don’t—”

He shakes you again until you stop, palm reaching up to cup your jaw and force your eyes on him. “Hey, easy, okay? Enough. That’s the fucking love of my life you’re talking about, yeah? I don’t wanna hear that shit—”

“Yeah, well I don’t either, but here we are,” you huff, yanking your head away so you can look back down at the floor.

But Harry isn’t so easily deterred, quickly taking your face in both his hands this time around as he brings your attention back to him. “All right, well let’s start with this: they can go fuck themselves. They don’t know my type. They don’t know jack shit about me or what I like—”

“Har,” you interject with a pointed look. “It’s not that hard to guess that your type is skinny and blonde—”

“No, see, fuck that, too,” he scoffs. “Look, am I gonna sit here and pretend there haven’t been a few coincidences? No. There’s a pattern, I see that. But that’s not why I dated them. I dated them because of who they were. Because of how I felt when I was around them. Because of their intentions and their morals not because of the way they looked.”

It’s a nice argument. Almost believable, too. You know Harry like the back of your hand. You know what he’s drawn to. Know that he cares about what’s in someone’s heart first and foremost.

But you also know that he’s a man and men are pigs and horny all the goddamn time.

“I believe that you believe that,” you tell him. “Doesn’t change the fact that the world expects you to be with someone that looks like…you know, not me.”

That handsome face of his falls into a frown. “You think I make my choices based on what the world expects of me?”

You sigh, head shaking once. “No,” you whisper, rather ashamed. “No, I just…I guess I wished I saw something else when I looked in the mirror.”

He stares at you for a moment. Quietly. Purposefully. Then, he stands.

You scramble back as he grabs your hand and leads you toward the corner of the bedroom where your full-length mirror resides.

Oh, great, you think, feet dragging a bit as he places you in front of your reflection and settles in behind you.

“I’m gonna tell you what I see, yeah?” he declares as he peeks over your shoulder to meet your eye in the mirror. “And you’re gonna fucking listen to me. Not to them. Not to your anxiety or your overthinking. Me. Just me. Deal?”

Not like you really have a choice, you sigh again as you nod once.

“Good girl.” His fingers delicately begin to trace down the slope of your shoulders and down your arms as your breath hitches. “I see the arms that held me the night I found out my friend had died. The arms that make me feel safe and loved. The arms that carried each and every one of those flowers to my mom’s house for her birthday and the arms that let me be the little spoon when I need it.”

Your teeth pull at your lip in an attempt to keep from smirking as his touch travels from your arms to your waist and you watch rather intently.

“I see the hips that I grab onto when I’m fucking ruining you against the wall. The hips that I grab onto when you sit on my lap and grind that pretty ass against my cock when you think no one is looking. I see the hips that I squeeze when you’re dancing with me in that pretty red dress I fucking adore,” he continues, his voice a gentle purr, and suddenly, you don’t feel like smirking anymore.

He moves back up, fingers sweeping down the back of your neck before dancing around your throat and along your jaw.

“I see the face of the woman I love. The lips I love to bite until they bleed. The eyes that look at me when I’m doing something annoying, or stupid, or just a little bit dangerous. The eyes that watch me when I ruin you with my tongue, or when I dance around the stage, or when I get into the shower even though you think I don’t notice.”

You’re not quite sure you’re breathing at this point, his pointed gaze still on yours through the reflection as his hand begins to fall to your chest.

“I see the body that brought you to me. I see your heart in the little things you do. The way you speak. The way you make sure everyone around you is okay before you check on yourself. I see your heart in the way you trust me. The way you sacrifice your sanity just to follow me around the world on the world’s tiniest tour bus. In the way you play my mom’s dumb Rabbit, Rabbit game every month because it makes her so happy and no one else will play it with her.”

Now you do laugh, head shaking as you glance down at the floor.

But he brings two fingers to your chin to raise it back up once again as he leans closer, lips ghosting the shell of your ear.

“I see the legs that shake when I tease you,” he murmurs. “The thighs that squeeze around my head when you come. I see the skin that looks so beautiful when it’s sweaty and sticky and soft under my touch. I see the ass I could bounce a quarter off of. I see the curves I love to run my tongue along. I see the dips that fit mine like a fucking puzzle piece. Like it was always meant to fit. Your body in mine.”

You’re leaning back against his chest, now hardly able to stand as he nearly brings you to his knees with his words alone. You’re almost annoyed at the way he’s managed to play you and yet…you know that everything he says, he means.

When he’s sure he has your full attention, he slips his arms around your waist until he can press his palms to your stomach, chin on your shoulder as you suck in a longing breath.

“I see the body that holds our baby,” he says softly, and you feel the tears sneaking their way to your eyeline. “The body that made our baby. The body that carries it, protects it, nourishes it. The stomach that looks just as glorious now as it did the first time I saw it. The stomach that I love to run my lips along. To taste, to have, to bite until it’s my name you see when you look in the mirror.”

Your head is spinning, filled with more voices than you can count. And every comment. The ones online, the ones telling you that you’re not who you should be, and now…his.

And then suddenly, it goes quiet.

Until all you hear…is him.

“I see the love of my life,” he continues as your eyes meet his again. “I see you. I see the only person I want to see. The only person I want to come home to. The only person I’ve ever truly wanted. No matter what they tell you, no matter what you tell yourself…it doesn’t change what I see. No numbers, no sizes, no comments. I just see you. I see the person that makes me feel safe and the body that gives me the kind of hard-on that has me wanking off in a coat closet just to get some relief.”

You’re not sure whether to laugh or cry, so you do both as he smirks and reaches his knuckles up to catch a stray tear falling down your cheek.

“I know that this isn’t something that I can fix, no matter how good I am,” he adds teasingly. “But I want you to promise me something, yeah?”

You nod.

“Next time you hear anybody else’s voice but mine…you come straight to me. So I can show you exactly who you are to me.”

You don’t answer with words. Instead, you turn around and kiss him. Fingers in his hair as you slip your tongue past his and try with everything you have to let him know how much you love him. How much you appreciate him.

How much you need him.

He’s more than grateful to have you on him like this, already attempting to pull you back toward the bed, but before the tender moment can pass, you take a second to breathe and press your forehead to his.

He waits patiently, keeping his hold on you tight as you work to find the right words.

“I love you,” is all you can say, lashes falling shut, overcome with emotion and need. “I really fucking love you.”

“I love you, Angel,” he replies, laughing a bit as if he can hardly believe how lucky he is.

Then, he kisses you again.

“Now let me see you.”

~ Full Masterlist

~ Other Harry Blurbs

#harry #harry styles #harry edward styles #harry styles one shot #harry styles imagine #harry styles x reader #harry styles x you #harry styles blurb #harry styles request #harry styles fluff #harry styles prompt

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donteattheappleshook · 3 months

Text

(not so) young, drunk and alone 1/1

“Swan, it’s me. ‘M so sorry I ‘avnent called for… September, October, Nov… three months. Shit that’s too many months. ‘M sorry but I need your help. The sherrffeff won’t let me leave. He says you have to pick me up - well not you but ‘ynow someone. I don’t know anyone else. Oh! It’s Killian by the way. Killian Jones. I don’t know how many Killians you know but I’m that one. The dickhead who ghosted you. ‘Nway, if you could call me back that would be just - awesome. Yur prolly not gonna call me back. I wouldn’t call me back. ‘Nway… yeah. It’s Killian. Thanks.”

(We'll give this a light M)

Oh hey, it's me, neglecting all the WIPs for something new.

This fic is a little birthday present to myself. It's completely ferral and I had very little control over it but I listened to Dial Drunk on repeat for 3 days and then this happened. This fic is unbetaed but thank you @the-darkdragonfly for answering all my texts and rambling calls while I was writing it!

A Silver hook story because apparently everything I write is now...

Read it on Ao3 (where my italics work)

******

(not so) young, drunk and alone

She shouldn’t be allowed to look at him like that. Not with a smirk caught between her teeth in a way that makes his throat dry and his pulse race. Not with the barely restrained promise of a laugh he’s sure would come out in different company that makes his face burn and and his eyes unable to meet hers. He can’t look at her when she looks like that, and she’s looking at him like that, and he looks - he assumes not great.

So he focuses on the floor instead. The floor is safe. The floor doesn’t stir up conflicting and confusing feelings he’s managed to ignore for the better part of a year. The floor doesn’t make him question every terrible decision he’s made in his life that led him to this exact moment. The floor is… moving. It’s not supposed to do that. Although that’s likely the booze, he rationalizes. But the floor isn’t interested in being rational so Killian lets his forehead fall against the bars he’s already holding onto in an attempt to stay upright. The bars are nice, they’re cool and solid and it slows the spinning in his head a fraction.

“Big night?”

He takes a full ten seconds, counted slowly, and a few deep breaths before raising his head again and facing that smirk. It doesn’t help. The absolute delight in her eyes delivers the same gut-punch it always does - even if it’s at his expense - and the soft blonde curls that have fallen from her probably hastily pulled up bun make him ache to reach out and brush them away from her face just so he can feel the strands between his fingers.

He shouldn’t have called her. He knew it was a mistake when he did it. He should have just let the sheriff keep him in this bloody cell. It’s not as if he hadn’t slept it off a night or two in another cell in another town throughout his youth. But he’s not so youthful now and the sight of the cold, hard bench, the thought of his aching back and the copious amounts of rum still coursing through his blood had been enough to send him over the edge into madness apparently. So he’d pressed the blurry little “absolutely not” in his contacts and called the only person he knew in this whole bloody city.

“Swaann.” He attempts a smile but it turns into a wince as he manages to slur the single word. When he works up to meeting her eyes again - so green, like the sea glass he used to collect on the beach when he was a boy and that takes his breath away every time - there’s a bit of pity mixed in with the amusement.

He feels pretty pitiful. Forty-five and so stumbling drunk that he’d been tossed out of the pub and into a police car, only to be forced to face the one person he’d hoped the rum would chase from his mind. He’s too old to be acting like this. Even with his wits sloshing around in the drink he’d tried to drown them with he knows he’s too old to be acting like this. When you’re young, it’s funny, an anecdote for another time - spending the night in the drunk tank. When you’re his age, it’s just pathetic.

“Alright, let’s get you out of here.” Her voice is sweet, with a laugh still hiding somewhere behind it, and it’s the first sound since he was brought here that hasn’t made his head feel like it was being scratched at from the inside.

“You shouldn’t’ve come here. S’the middle of the night,” he tells her. She doesn’t belong in this sad little room in this sad little jail with the lightbulb that keeps flickering in and out. Still, he can’t stop the stupid smile that finds residence on his face whenever she’s near - because she is here. She came to get him.

Emma raises a brow in a way he thinks she may have picked up from him. “You called me three times.”

He blinks. Fuck. He doesn’t remember that. He looks at the sheriff waiting a little ways back who nods in confirmation, giving Killian his own pitying wince like he tried to stop him. Killian sighs. “‘Mm usually much more charming.”

She rolls her eyes but smirks again as the sheriff slides a key into the ancient looking lock. “Yeah, I know. Come on, Graham’s going to let you off with a warning -”

He nearly falls flat on his face when the door he’d been leaning against swings open.

“You sure you’re gonna be okay with him, Em?”

Oh great, they know each other. He’d be more annoyed at her cozy relationship with the unreasonably attractive sheriff if he wasn’t a little bit grateful to the man who caught him and is still holding him up now. If he can just get his legs to go back under him where they belong…

“I’ll be fine. Thanks.”

Killian feels himself being passed from the man who smells strikingly of the forest, to the woman with the irreplicable scent of honey and drugstore soap that overwhelms him with the memory of every time he’s had his mouth or his hand on her skin. The fingers of his one remaining hand burn with the urge to feel her under them again so he balls them into a fist as she drapes his arm over her shoulders. “What about you?” It takes him a moment to realize that he’s who the question is directed at. “You going to be okay to walk out of here?”

Sheer determination not to make an even greater fool of himself than he already has in front of Emma Swan is the only thing he can attribute to both not falling right over with the nod of his head, and the steadiness of his first step as she leads him out the door.

He stumbles three times between the building and her car. She catches him every time with a hand on his chest, her head turning so that her hair brushes his cheek and he’s pretty sure he doesn’t do it on purpose after the first time - though he can’t really trust his own thoughts at this point since they have to be yelled at him through an ocean of rum.

“It’s your bug!” he beams at the old, yellow car. “I love your bug.”

“You hate my bug.”

Oh, right. He does hate the car that broke down every other time they drove to his hotel in the middle of the night, the one that had broken down the night they met. ‘I swear I’m not trying to stand you up. It’s just my car is literally on the side of the road right now and the tow won’t come for another hour at least and there’s… smoke.’

It had been an interesting night, getting an Uber in a strange city to go pick up a stranded woman from a dating app who'd been on her way to his hotel for anonymous sex - a woman he found out had lied about her age when she pointed out that the 1993 beetle was older than she was. ‘I didn’t think you’d swipe right if you knew there was a whole high school senior between us.’ ‘Anything else I should know about?’ he’d teased when they were back at his hotel room where she’d managed to get him out of his shirt with impressive speed. ‘Is Anna even your real name?’ ‘Uhhh, about that…’

She leans him up against the aggressive yellow of the door as she fishes in her pockets for her key. Her cheeks have gone red from the cold and it reminds him of the flush that would sometimes come over her skin if he found the right words or the right touch.

“You’re so lovely.” His thumb is tracing over her cheek though he doesn’t remember raising his hand or reaching for her.

She snorts. “Yeah, okay, Jones. So not gonna happen tonight, but nice try.” This time her smirk is wicked and if he had any real control over his body or his brain he would kiss it right off her smug mouth.

“I wasn’t trying to do anything!” he swears, prosthetic on his heart as she unlocks the passenger side door. “I’m just grateful you came all the way out here to rescue me. My knight in awful yellow armour.” He gasps. She rescued him from a dungeon. “Bloody hell, Swan -” He speaks slowly, managing to get almost every word out coherently. “I’m the princess.”

He’s waiting for her to come to the same mind-blowing realization as he has, but she just shakes her head and rolls her eyes. “Get in the car, your highness.”

It takes an impressive amount of self-control for him to sit still and keep his hand to himself despite his racing heart and thoughts as she leans over to help him secure his seatbelt. Because he’s not supposed to have those thoughts. And his idiot heart can keep its cruel reminders to itself. He shouldn’t have called her. He hasn’t called her - not in months. Not since he realized his mistake and knew this thing between them had to come to an end.

He’s missed her so bloody much.

“Killian.” She’s beside him now in the driver’s seat and saying his name like it’s not the first time she’s asked him this question. “Where are you staying?”

“Oh, I…” Shit. He knows this. He’s got this. Think. There was a hotel. A big hotel with really good room service. Maybe they could go there and he could buy her room service. She always liked that. ‘Listen, I know I came over here for sex and that was great and everything, but there’s a freaking lobster grilled cheese on this menu so do you think I could be here for sex and room service tonight?’ She’d looked at him with that same wicked, eager smile and he was already reaching across her for the phone. ‘I feel like I should be concerned that you seem more turned on by this sandwich than you did by anything else tonight.’ ‘Well, it’ll probably take them a little while to deliver it if you want another go at out-seducing bread and cheese.’

“A hotel,” he tells her finally.

“Yeah, I kind of figured. Which one?”

“Which what?”

“Which hotel, Killian? Which hotel am I driving you to?”

“Oh.” He knows this one! “Mine.”

She sighs, forehead falling against the steering wheel for a long moment. He waits, not sure what he did wrong but positive that he did something. “Okay,” she says, sitting up and starting the car. “It’s late. You can sleep it off on my couch for tonight and I’ll drive you back in the morning when you’re less… wasted.”

She sounds frustrated and he thinks it might be his fault. He looks at her carefully as she turns out of the parking lot, really looks at her for the first time since she walked back into his life a moment ago. Holding his breath against the eyes and hair and skin that always try to steal it away, he takes note of her messy hair, the lack of any makeup, the grey sweats he knows she likes to sleep in. He looks at the clock next, the late - or rather early - hour shining angry, bright and orange. He can figure this out.

“I’m sorry.” He’s an idiot. She glances at him before turning back to the dark highway ahead of them.” “I shouldn’t have called you.”

“It’s fine.”

“No, it’s not.” He hangs his head, hoping he looks sincere and not just as pathetically pissed as he is. “I woke you up.”

“Really, Killian, it’s fine. I was just going to bed.” He looks at the clock again and he envies her youth not for the first time since meeting her. He supposes he’s up this late as well, but that wasn’t by choice. That was the rum’s decision. The rum always makes bad decisions.

“But it’s cold.” She must be cold. She’s always cold and he made her go outside. She hates outside. She probably hates him now. ‘Listen, I’m all for this whole hooking up when you’re in town no strings thing.’ She waved a hand in his general direction. ‘Big fan of everything you’ve got going on here. But it’s cold as balls outside, so from now on you can come to mine and I can stay inside where it’s warm, or I’ll see you in the spring.’

The smirking curl of her mouth tugs at her cheek but he doesn’t reach for it again. “Yeah, it’s November.”

November. The last time he saw her it had been the dead of summer, both of them hot and sticky and barely dressed, stretched out in front of the single standing fan by the bed in her little apartment with no bloody air conditioning.

He misses that apartment. Misses being there with her and letting her make him boxed mac and cheese while he complained about her eating habits. Misses the ridiculous sheets with little Millennium Falcons on them that she’d found when he was running late to meet her that one time. He’d made her wash them before putting them on her bed - ‘fine, mom’ - and then listened to her make Star Wars puns from between her thighs until they tightened so hard against his ears he couldn’t hear anything at all.

And he misses the way she would smile at him when she opened the door, just before she dragged him inside, asking about his flight between heated kisses and frustrated hands. ‘I hate your stupid ties’.

He’s a bloody idiot and he should have never stopped calling. Or he should have stopped calling a long time ago, before there was anything to miss. They had a good thing going, an understanding, no strings. He’d reach out when he was in town for work and they would meet for one or however many nights he was staying. No expectations or dates or sleepovers, none of the complicated stuff. And he’d screwed it up.

His feet slip dangerously against the icy ground - at least he’s pretty sure there’s ice, or the ground isn’t staying still again - as Emma practically hoists him out of the car. “You remember the stairs right?” she asks, ducking under his arm again to steady him. She fits well there with her arm wrapped around his waist.

He hadn’t remembered the stairs. Though he should have, he’d complained about them enough times. ‘What’s so wrong with an apartment with an elevator?’ ‘Aw, can your old knees not handle it?’ He’d caught her as she bolted up the last few flights at his glare, laughing the whole way, and he’d spent enough time on his ‘old knees’ to make her take it back. This time, he’s not so sure he can handle it as he looks up at the rotating stairs that seem unable to settle on a height.

“It’s either that or you’re sleeping in the lobby, Jones.”

He considers it. “Is that David guy still your landlord?” The one who was particularly hostile to the man in his forties coming over at random hours of the night to visit his twenty-eight year old tenant. ‘Give him a break, he still thinks I’m the sixteen year old kid he illegally rented to when I first moved here.’

In fairness, Killian would probably judge himself too if he were in the landlord's shoes. He has judged himself many times for becoming a stereotype of Dicaprio-sized proportions. But the alternative would have been resisting Emma Swan, something he’s incapable of doing - or at least had been until that morning he ruined everything.

“Okay.” The stairs are still moving.

“Hold on.” She takes out her phones - there’s definitely two of them - and holds them in front of his face. “I just want to get you on camera saying that I’m not liable if you fall down these stairs and break your neck.”

“Is that really necessary?” He got that whole sentence out in one try.

“I know you have a lawyer.” ‘You have a what? Wow, I knew you were older but I didn’t know you were like, old old.’ ‘I don’t think it counts if you’ve stolen from parent’s liquor cabinet.’

“Fine. Don’t sue Emma if I die. She’s very nice and doesn’t have any money anyway.”

“Thank you.”

“It’ll never hold up in court.”

“That would be way more convincing if you could pronounce all your consonants.”

The climb takes twice as long as it should and he’s forced to stop once when he makes the mistake of looking down and his stomach rolls violently. ‘I swear to god if you puke in my hallway I’ll leave you here to sleep in it.’

“I don’t remember there being this many floors.”

“It’s four floors. You’ve done two.”

He might die.

He doesn’t die, but just barely, and when Emma leads him through the door and into the studio, she practically drops him onto the old couch. It’s not her fault; he’d made himself very droppable in the last few minutes. At least he landed on the couch and not the collection of wooden crates she’s glued together next to it. ‘That’s not a coffee table, Swan.’ ‘Oh, I’m sorry, is that or is that not your coffee cup on it right now?’

He doesn’t see her for a few minutes, his head too heavy to lift, but he can hear her moving around the apartment and he can picture her, walking through the kitchen on her toes. ‘It’s not weird, shut up.’ ‘I just thought you’d like to know that most people use their whole foot.’

When she finally comes back, he forces his eyes open, unsure who exactly glued them shut or how they did it without him noticing. Fuck she’s beautiful. Even through the boozy marinade he’s made of his head he can see that, and he wants to tell her. He could. He could blame it on the rum. But that would be a bad idea. Complicating things between them would be a bad idea. They’d already gotten complicated enough. God, he’s such a fuck up. Things were good, they could have stayed good. He just had to go and ruin a good thing with his stupid, greedy heart.

“Here.” Two little pills and a frighteningly large bottle of water are set down in front of him. He’s not sure what the pills are but he’s also pretty sure she wouldn’t try to poison him even if he is an asshole who called her in the middle of the night after ghosting her for months. Pretty sure. The water sounds like a good idea.

“Have you eaten anything or did you have rum for dinner?”

“There were peanuts at the bar,” he tells her after guzzling down enough water to drown himself with. She shakes her head and walks out of his line of sight again. This time she comes back with a bag of crisps and he thinks maybe she doesn’t hate him as much as he thought because they’re the kind he likes most.

“Eat that, drink that, and take those,” she orders, pointing to each with a stern look. “And then lie down on your side so I know you won’t choke to death in the night, and get some sleep.”

“Yes ‘mam,” he salutes.

“Don’t get cute with me.” He wasn’t trying to be cute. But it makes him unreasonably happy that she thinks he is. She rolls her eyes at his probably once again dumb smile and repeats, “eat,” before disappearing where he can’t see her again.

When she comes back this time her hair is down, falling over the shoulders of her oversized Jonas Brothers t-shirt she’s apparently had since she was twelve, and he wants to whine or cry at how desperately he wishes he could reach for her and what an idiot he is for being the reason he can’t. She’s carrying an empty garbage can, a blanket draped over one arm.

“Do not puke on my rug. It’s the only new thing in this whole apartment and I love it more than I’ve ever loved anything in my life.”

Killian leans over from where he’s stretched out on the couch that’s too small for him, running his fingers over the blue and white pattern and nods. “It’s lovely, very soft.”

She’s silent for long enough that he looks up again, only to find her with her lips pressed so hard together against a laugh that he can see her chest lurch with the force of containing it. He frowns, looking from her to the rug and back again before realizing that he’s been stroking the rug with his prosthetic hand.

“Emma… I might be drunker than I thought.”

The laugh that bursts out of her is loud and horrible and obnoxious and it’s the best sound he’s heard in a long time. He’s missed that sound, the one that had shocked him so completely the first time he heard it that they’d both ended up on the floor, stomachs hurting and eyes tearing, neither able to remember what had set her off in the first place and unable to stop giggling like teenagers.

“Aw, babe,” Emma crouches down in front of him with a pitying look before beginning to work the straps of his false hand loose. Her hand settles soft against his cheek once it’s free, smirk still lingering on the corner of her lips. “I don’t think anyone’s ever been as drunk as you are right now.”

Her face is so close to his that his heart forgets how it’s meant to work, stopping and racing of its own accord. He wishes she would close the distance, that he could feel her mouth against his for the first time in months, or that she’d simply stay here with him for the rest of the night because the distance and the silence between them has been more than he can take. He doesn't know how he ever convinced himself that staying away would eventually make the ache for her fade.

She smiles at him again, giving his cheek an affectionate pat before draping the blanket over him, the soft one he knows had been her prized possession before the rug. “Get some sleep, Killian. I don’t think anyone’s ever been as hungover as you’re going to be tomorrow either.”

He’s not sure whether or not the way his fingers close around hers before she can pull away was his idea or the rum’s, but she’s looking at him, waiting for him to say something and he doesn’t know what he was going to say or what he was thinking. He just knows that he missed her and he screwed it up - and then he screwed it up again, possibly beyond repair the second time.

Being in this city that he managed to avoid for months in the hopes that he could forget about her has been one of the worst decisions he’s ever made. To think he really believed that he could live here, that he could take the job that was offered and not be haunted by her every waking moment, not dread and hope to see her around every corner.

Being naive enough to think he could ignore the draw of her is how he ended up in that bar tonight. He’d tried to figure out how many shots of rum it would take to make him forget that he loves Emma Swan, but it seems there isn’t enough rum in the world for that - or at least not enough in that bar.

She’s still looking at him and he wishes she wasn’t watching him with a hesitation and a carefulness that hadn’t been there before. It had always been so easy between them; he’d never felt less self-conscious with another person in his life and now it’s all consuming. She’s lost the carefree warmth he used to see in her eyes, like he took it with him when he left that morning and didn’t come back.

“I’m sorry.”

He can’t tell if it’s relief or disappointment in her sigh. “I already told you, it’s fine.”

He shakes his head. “Not for calling you tonight. For not calling you. Every other night. I’ve been an ass and I’ve been a coward. You didn’t deserve that.” By the grace of whatever gods might be listening to his poor apology, he doesn’t slur a single word.

Her pause is long enough that he worries he said the wrong thing, and he can’t read her expression through the haze of booze and exhaustion swimming around in his head. He should let go of her hand, but he’s painfully aware that this could be the last time he gets to touch her and she’s not pulling away.

She sighs again. “Why don’t we talk about this when you’re feeling better?”

He lets go. “Aye, Swan, whatever you want.”

She walks away. Beyond repair then.

***

Killian jumps, heart pounding. He feels like he’s woken from a coma, body so heavy with sleep that parts of it aren't responding to him and never having been more confused than he is in these first few moments. It’s daytime, but it’s not morning, the light is too dim, and he’s asleep but not in his bed or in his hotel room, on a couch he recognizes but can’t really place. He has a vague recollection of things that may or may not have happened while he lay here; the sound of someone moving around the room, someone saying his name, a door shutting, an angry car somewhere far off and the bark of a dog somewhere close, the sound of keys and the strange sensation someone poking him in the face - hard.

All of it feels like a fever dream now as he looks towards the tinny sound of the belligerent man’s voice coming from the phone in her hand.Oh no. Oh god what the hell had he done last night? He recognizes the room, the soft blanket he’s under, the long legs clad in grey sweatpants perched on the table in front of him. He doesn’t think he can bring himself to look at her.

“Oh! It’s Killian by the way. Killian Jones. I don’t know how many Killians you know but I’m that one. The dickhead who ghosted you. ‘Nway, if you could call me back that would be just - awesome. Yur prolly not gonna call me back. I wouldn’t call me back. ‘Nway… yeah. It’s Killian. Thanks.”

If you’d like to save this message, press - there's a loud beep before another message begins to play. Bloody hell. He remembers the pub, and the cop - sort of - and he remembers that little line on his phone screen. ‘Absolutely not’. From the looks of it, he absolutely did.

“Heey, isme again. I don’t think I told you where I am. Is’not great, Swan. They put me in the jail.”

He winces, sitting up carefully, head still light and disoriented. “Did I…”

“Mhm.”

Another wince. “Are they all-”

“Oh yeah.”

“‘M not even that drunk. The sherfs just got a commpelex or something.”

“Swan, we really don’t have to -”

“Shh, this is my favourite part.”

Killian hangs his head. “I - Oy, I’m on the phone, sherirff! Don’ they teach you manners at cop school? The cops in your city are rude, Swan. Hey! No - iss my phone. I can call whoever I want.” There’s a shuffling sound that stirs up a faint memory of trying to back deeper into the cell, then a small shout and he remembers why his ass hurts and that he’s probably got a bruise on his hip the size of the one on his ego. Emma has her lip caught between her teeth again, flashing him the same look she had when she arrived at the station.

“Hello? Swan? Oh, right. Yur prolly asleep. You should be asleep, that’s good. I jus’ called ‘cus I…” For a blissful minute he thinks he might have had the sense to hang up, the silence on the other end dragging on and he almost breathes a sigh of relief. But then the message rings out again. “I can't remember why I called you. I think somethin’ made me think of you.” His voice gets softer and so does her expression for just a moment.

“That happens a lot. I been thinking ‘bout you a lot, all the time, really. And not just in a sexy way and not just yer face.” Killian hangs his head. “Even though I’m a fan of your face. And all your other parts too.”

He wishes he could just perish right here and now, wishes the dull ache in his head would become an aneurysm and take him out without a fuss.

“I been thinking about those ridic’lus tiktoks you used to send me and when I was in meetings ‘n I jus’ wanted to be with you. I don’t know anything about Taylor Swift anymore, Swan - I don’t know how to find those myself.” There’s another pause but he knows better than to hope this is over, much of this coming back to him now in mortifying waves.

“I’ve too many shirts in my closet now - It’s so many shirts. I always brought extra ‘cause I knew you’d steal ‘em an’ then you’d walk ‘round your kitchen in ‘em with no pants like yur a sexy Winnie the Pooh or somethn’ and I had to watch you climb yur counters while I had a heartattack ‘cuz you wouldn’ jus’ let me get things off the top shelf for you. Bloody stubborn.” There’s a sigh over the machine. “I don’t want this many shirts, Swan…

‘Anyway I - What? Who does? Sorry, Swan the sherf is being rude again. He wants to know if yur picking me up. Are you picking me up?” There’s so much hope in his past self’s voice that he almost feels bad for him. But he also knows what a bloody idiot that man is and it’s hard to feel anything but the overwhelming urge to disappear into this couch and not have to listen to any more of his drunken rambling. “That would be nice. But it’s okay if you don’t want to. I’d understand. Gnight, love.”

To delete this message press - She hits a button. Message saved.

Killian braces himself for the next one. Gods, how many of them are there? But this time it’s not his voice that comes out over the speakerphone, it’s another man, Irish and vaguely familiar through the sleep and the unfortunately returning memories.

“Hey, Emma, it’s Graham.” Killian’s heart drops into his stomach at the sound of another man calling her in the middle of the night. Of course she wouldn’t have sat around pining like he did, not for a man who treated her as carelessly as he had. Of course - “Listen, I don’t know who this guy is but he says he knows you. I thought maybe he was one of your clients but when I asked him how he knows you he just asked me if I’ve ever been in love...”

The brow Emma raises at him is equal parts question, challenge and amusement and he feels the blood rush from his face. Fuck. He wonders whether four floors would be high enough for him to end this misery if he just went out the window.

“Anyway, just let me know if this is another Walsh situation and I’ll make sure he stays in here, alright? Goodnight, love.” Killian can’t even begrudge the man or the endearment he adds to the end of his message when he’s only looking out for her. Probably a good thing she has someone to keep old, drunk dickheads away from her.

He hears another beep of her mailbox and braces himself for whatever’s coming next. “Hi, love, ‘m sorry for calling so much. I know I made too many ms’takes to be ‘loud to say this, but… I miss you, Swan… And I’d jus’ really like to see you again.”

End of messages. To -

Emma shuts the phone off, setting it down next to her on the coffee table. She tilts her head to see his face which he’s currently trying to bury in his hands. “Sounds like you had quite the night.”

“I thought I’d be more hungover.” His head hurts and he’s tired and his mouth is dry but he expected to be near death after the way he threw them back last night.

“It’s four in the afternoon.” Oh. He does the math of how long she’d let him sleep in her apartment after everything he’s done - after she picked him up.

“At one point I had to make sure you were alive. But I figured if you were able to leave such eloquent voicemails last night that you probably weren’t in danger of alcohol poisoning.”

“Swan, I…” He’s fully aware that he deserves her mocking but he’s too humiliated to even begin to try and explain his behaviour last night. How can he without explaining everything right down to that morning in July where he messed up the best thing in his life.

She takes pity on him, giving a small shrug. “Forget about it. Everyone says stupid stuff when they’re hammered. Everyone calls people they know they shouldn’t.”

“No, Emma -” He finally lifts his head to look at her. “That wasn’t…” He needs her to know that wasn’t what this was, she wasn’t just some drunk dial in the middle of the night. He thinks of how many times in the last three three months he’s looked at that contact in his phone, her name replaced with a reminder that he should not and absolutely could not go there. She mistakes his hesitation.

“You okay?”

“No.” He needs to talk to her, to apologize and beg her forgiveness. But he can’t find the words in his tired, muddled head to tell her without telling her everything. “I’m a bloody idiot.”

Emma smirks. “Yeah, we established that last night - a bunch of times.”

“I mean it. It wasn’t -” He rubs at his eyes, trying to clear the sleep and avoid looking at her. “I didn’t just call you because I was drunk. I’ve wanted to call you. For months. Last night just gave me an excuse.”

“You needed an excuse to call me?”

He sighs. “I was coward enough to convince myself I did.”

When he finally forces himself to face her, he finds her watching her phone, fingers wrung in her lap and lips pressed together tightly the way they always are before she asks something that’s answer matters to her.

“How much of last night do you actually remember?”

“Most of it, I think.” It’s been coming back to him in increasingly horrifying details since she played that first voicemail.

“You said a lot of stupid stuff.”

“I know.”

“How much of all of that was true?”

“All of it.”

She raises a brow. “All of it?”

“Aye.”

“Sexy Winnie the Pooh?”

A smirk tugs at his mouth. “I stand by what I said.”

He wonders which parts of what he said she’s focusing on as her silence stretches between them, heartbroken when he sees a little wall go up. This is why he stopped calling. He knew this would happen.

“It’s fine. It’s not like you owed me anything. We weren’t -”

“Don’t do that.” His hand reaches out for her, fingers playing carefully with the fabric of her too-big sweatpants. “We may not have been in a relationship but we weren’t nothing.” He won’t let her excuse his behaviour, not after they spent over a year in each others’ lives only for him to disappear from hers. “I shouldn’t have acted like we were.”

“So then why did you stop calling?” It’s the most vulnerable he’s ever heard her sound even though she hides it well and he can’t bring himself to look at her. “I liked what we had going. I liked spending time with you.”

“Aye, so did I.” Too much.

“I guess I thought - I guess I thought we were friends at least.”

“We were.” His fingers dance along her calf through the fabric he can’t stop fiddling with and he feels the muscle tense but she doesn’t pull away from him.

“So then what gives?” The anger in her voice makes his gaze snap up to hers. Finally. He’s been waiting for her to be angry with him, she deserves to be angry and he deserves it too. It gives him that small flicker of hope he’d been unable to find until now, a hope that if she’s angry, it’s because she cared enough to be hurt. “Why did you just…” She gestures vaguely with her hands. Disappear.

“Because I couldn’t do it anymore.”

“Do what? Hook up? Jesus, Killian, I’m a big girl. You didn’t have to run away because you were over the benefits part of this friendship.”

“I wasn’t. I left because I broke our rules.”

“What rules?”

The ones they’d so carefully established when they decided to continue this arrangement beyond the first and second time he saw her. The ones that were meant to keep either of them from getting hurt like they both were now.

“The last time I was here, we fell asleep and woke up in the morning still in your bed and I…”

“That’s why you freaked out? Because you accidentally slept over? That’s a bit dramatic don’t you think?” He can hear the disbelief in her voice and also the relief but he’s not done. “It wasn’t like a hard and fast rule -”

His fingers curl around the back of her knee, squeezing as he draws her attention. “That’s not why.” He traces his thumb over the fabric covering her shin and he knows he has to tell her because he can’t do this anymore without telling her and he can’t go back to how things were.

And he thinks that just maybe, she’ll want to hear it. Because as small and insignificant as it may seem, those aren’t her sweatpants, they’re his, lent - stolen - after a rather frantic afternoon in his hotel room six months ago where he may have torn her skirt in his haste to get it off. ‘You need better quality clothes, love.’ ‘Is this you finally offering to be my sugar daddy?’ They have his bloody initials on them - a strange gift from his lawyer friend. And she hasn’t gotten rid of them, didn’t toss them away when he did the same to her. She still sleeps in them.

“I freaked out because I liked waking up with you, and I started thinking that I’d like to wake up with you every morning.” He’d been hot and sweaty and sore from sleeping on her old mattress but he’d looked down at the woman wrapped around him despite the stifling heat, her cheek pressed to his chest and her hair in his mouth and he knew that he wanted this, wanted her, maybe forever. He hears her small intake of breath, his thumb still stroking her skin though the fabric as though it’ll give him the strength he needs. “And I hadn’t felt that way about anyone since…” He can’t finish and so she does for him.

“Milah?”

“Aye.” His reason for never wanting anything more, love lost in the same instant that cost him a piece of himself. He’d told Emma about her, one night when they’d lingered a little too long entangled in the aftermath. He didn’t know the details of her reason, only that she’d been far too young and that he’d hurt her deeply enough to make her wary of anyone who claimed love or devotion.

“I hoped that if I stayed away for a little while that it would fade away and that we could go back to how things were because I knew that if I told you I would lose you. But the longer I stayed away, the more I missed you and the more I wanted you and I realized it wasn’t going to go away - because I loved you.”

Killian watches her for a reaction as he tells her the truth he’d been hiding from her for months and from himself for far longer, but she remains unreadable, fingers still wringing nervously in her lap, breathing a little shaky. But there’s no abject terror in her gaze as she waits for him to finish.

“And by then I’d avoided you for too long and it was too late to tell you or try to go back to how things were and I lost you anyway. Then I managed to convince myself that it was for the best because this wasn’t what you wanted and you deserved better anyway.” Better than an old widower with a used up heart who’d run the moment things became real. “But I thought you had the right to know that I didn’t leave because I didn’t care about you. I left because I cared too much.”

Fabric slips from his hand as she stands, circling the coffee table and leaving him feeling untethered without her and with a barrier set between them. He focuses on the rug, her reaction expected but no less painful, as she paces the length of her glued together crates a few times.

“Okay two things.” Her tone snaps his gaze up to where she moves anxiously and restlessly in the small space. “First of all, that’s the last time you make a decision for me.” He hadn’t expected this reaction. “I don’t need anyone to decide what I do or don’t deserve or what I can or can’t handle. If you want to know what I want, you ask me. You talk to me like the grownup you keep pretending that you are.” That one hurts but he nods. It’s all rightly earned.

“You’re right.”

“Good.” She stops, shoulders squared as she faces him from across the table. “Second.” He waits, the anger from before no longer sustaining her as he sees the wall she hides behind slip just a little. “You said you loved me.”

He’s not sure what answer she wants, but he gives her the truth. “I love you, Swan.” Try as hard as he did not to, he knows it’s not going away. And he’s not willing to attempt another eight shots of rum a second time to make sure.

She nods. He waits, or she waits, he’s not sure who’s supposed to speak here only that he needs to know how she feels and he’ll wait as long as he needs to.

“Well? Are you going to ask me what I want?”

“What do you want?” He’d give her whatever she asked for at this point as he watches her bite her lip and definitely doesn’t wish he was the one biting it.

“I don’t know.”

“Okay.” Fair enough.

“Look, I get running away from feelings - I’m very familiar with the concept. But the way you did it was really shitty and -” Her voice goes quiet, arms wrapping around herself in a move so full of self-preservation that it breaks his heart a little. “It hurt, okay?”

Her words, thick with betrayal and rejection, pierce sharp through his chest, painful and deserved as she avoids his gaze as determinantly as he’d avoided hers. God, he’s an ass. He’d pieced together enough about her past from the small glimpses she’d given him late on those nights where they were still tangled naked in her sheets and the dark lent them the boldness to be vulnerable to know that she’d been left before.

He joins her on her side of the table, reaching to touch the soft, golden waves that he’s spent months wishing he could tangle his fingers in again. “I’m sorry.” He pushes them behind her ear, thumb stroking over her cheek like her skin could break beneath his touch.

When she looks up at him her eyes are red and wet he pulls her to him without thinking. “I’m sorry,” he breathes, Emma feeling fragile in his arms for the first time since he met her. She’s a force, his Swan, a tempest that could devour a thousand ships and it hurts to see her storms wane.

“I’m sorry,” he says again, quieter, pressing a kiss to her temple as he brings a hand to stroke the hair at the base of her neck, feels her lean into him. “I’m sorry,” he speaks against her brow. “I’m so sorry, love.” His lips brush over the crown of her head and he feels her arms slip around his waist, holding tight to the back of his shirt. He holds her just as tightly, nose settling in the crook of her neck where he presses another kiss and whispers a thousand more apologies. “I’m an ass.”

“Yeah, you are.” Her voice comes muffled from where her face is pressed against his collarbone and he laughs in relief to hear her tease him. He pulls back enough that she can lift her head to face him, eyes still red as he wipes at the dampness left on her cheeks. All he wants is to kiss her and spend the night and the next day and every day after that making this up to her, but he knows better than to push her.

Her hands slide from his back to his chest as she meets his gaze and takes a steadying breath. “I still don’t know what I want. You’re not the only one who’s bad at dealing with feelings and you just put some pretty big ones out there.”

“I know.” He doesn’t expect to hear the words back, not after three months of silence. But if she gives him the chance to stay and try to win her heart then he’ll spend forever earning back her trust.

“But maybe, if you’re still in town for a bit, you could stay for dinner.”

It takes everything he has to contain the ecstatic smile that wells up from his chest, afraid he’ll scare her off. “I’ll stay as long as you’ll have me.” He’s not leaving her again. Not unless she sends him away.

***

“When do you go back?” she asks when they’re sat at the kitchen island. ‘What, exactly, do you have against real furniture? Especially tables. They seem particularly discriminated against.’ ‘Do you see any room in here for a twelve-piece dining set?’ He swallows the bite of the boxed mac and cheese she’d made him cook ‘Because I’m still pissed at you and I’m going to enjoy watching you suffer through this.’ ‘Sadist. Can I at least add -’ ‘No.’

Killian looks at his watch. “My flight was an hour ago.”

“What? You should have said -”

“And miss all the delicacies that Maine has to offer?” he asks, lifting his mismatched bowl. “It’s fine, Swan,” he adds when she looks genuinely concerned. “I’d rather be here.” He can get another flight at the last minute before he’s due back in New York on Monday. Getting his things back from the hotel, however, may be a tad more difficult.

“That’s sweet and all but I think you’d also rather be employed.”

“Aye, well, I may not be employed there much longer anyhow.”

Her eyes widen. “Oh god, don’t tell me you left them voicemails too.”

Killian snorts. “No, I’ve just… had another offer.”

His heart pounds frantically as she asks, “where?” terrified that he’ll scare her off.

“Here.”

“Here?”

He nods. “I wasn’t going to take it, not after realizing how much I’d miss you if I was here. But, well, that was before I drank a full bar. And this town does have its benefits.”

She gapes at him and he can see the thoughts racing behind her eyes. “You’re not moving for me, right? You want the job? Because I told you I don’t know what I want or if I can even do… whatever this maybe is and I -”

He reaches for her hand, calming the rambling that had started. “I do want the job, but of course I’m moving for you, Swan. And I know you’re not ready to decide anything, and I’m not asking you to. But whether you do or don’t decide that what you want is me, I’m going to be right here while you figure it out. I’m not going to leave you twice, Emma. I don’t want to miss you like that again.”

Emma just stares at him, mouth opening and then shutting with questions that don’t find voice and he sits, stewing in the worry that he said too much, asked for too much. He swallows as she jumps out of her seat, his turn to ramble now as she rounds the island.

“I mean, I will have to go home and get my things and resign but I -”

“Shut up,” she tells him, hands sliding into his hair and mouth colliding with his.

He’s more than happy to do exactly that, wasting no time in gathering her up in his arms and pulling her close, returning the kiss he’d missed so damn much all these months, missed the feel of her soft and warm against him like this, for the little sound she makes when his own hand tangles in her hair just hard enough that he can keep he there a little longer.

“Wait,” he breathes and her hands pause where they’d been working the buttons of his shirt free. “Maybe we should slow down.” There’s a part of him screaming at his stupid mouth right now for the words falling out of it. “You said you don’t know if this is what you want. So maybe we shouldn’t rush things.”

She barks out a small laugh. “You’re moving to another city for a ‘maybe’ and you don’t want to rush things?” He doesn’t really have an answer for that.

Her brow and mouth quirk up in one devastatingly attractive motion that has him ready to go back on everything he just said. “This was never our problem,” she reminds him, fingers tugging the buckle of his belt loose. “We’re good at this part. Everything else is where we get messy.” She works the button of his jeans open next. “So just try not to make any more big confessions while you’re inside me…” She runs her teeth over the skin below his ear as she slides her hand into his jeans and he nearly chokes. “And we should be fine.”

“Bloody hell.” His rational self may judge him later, but his current self has Emma Swan with her hand around his cock trying to get him out of his clothes and he’s already established that he’s not a very smart man. “I promise.”

***

It’s a strange feeling to be laying here, wrapped up in an old duvet and Star Wars sheets with Emma’s head on his shoulder and her fingers drawing patterns over his chest. They’ve never done this part, never lingered beyond the time it took them both to catch their breaths before untangling themselves from one another and going about their day - or tangling themselves again. He likes it, but it’s strange, new, something he hasn’t done in a long time. Not with anyone.

“This is kind of weird right?” she asks, breath warm against his neck.

Killian laughs. Bloody mind reader.

“Aye, a bit. I think I’m out of practice.”

“I never practised in the first place.”

He presses a kiss to her hair. “But, it’s not bad, right?” She can probably hear his stupid heart racing as he waits for her answer.

“No,” she shakes her head, sliding her arm around his waist and fitting herself more snugly against his side. “It’s not bad.” He can feel her smile against his skin, glad she can’t see the absolutely ridiculous one stretched across his own. They lay there a little longer, the room darkening with the earlier and earlier nights as he begins to dread the fast approaching hour where he’ll have to leave, until Emma shifts. “My neck hurts.”

“My arm’s asleep.”

She sits up and his arm is flooded with the sudden relief of no longer being squished, but he misses the warmth and the closeness of her immediately. He has two arms. Who really needs both? He’s done fine with one hand. “Where are you going?” he asks when she rises from the bed, reaching for his shirt that she tossed on the floor and he made himself leave there. ‘Do not fold your clothes while we’re in the middle of having sex or I swear I’ll put mine back on you fucking weirdo.’

“Thirsty,” she says as she finishes buttoning it. “You?”

“Aye, thanks.”

“Water? Or would you prefer rum?”

“Hilarious.” His stomach rolls, not finding her so funny. She certainly seems to think she is, smirking as she fetches two water bottles from the fridge. “You know you’re going to have to give me my shirt back this time. It’s the only one I’ve got.” At least until he finds out if the hotel hung onto his suitcase when he missed his checkout. “Unless you have the others squirrelled away here somewhere.”

“I thought you had ‘too many shirts, Swan,’” she reminds him in a poor imitation of his accent and he rolls his eyes. She hops back onto the bed, climbing into his lap to sit astride his hips. His hand and wrist settle on her waist, the shirt in question riding up and making him groan at the feel of her pressed against him.

“Aye well I’ve only got the one to wear out of here tonight and while you look infinitely better in it than I do -”

“Like a sexy Winnie the Pooh, would you say?”

He sighs. “I’m never living that one down am I?”

“You want to show me your hundred acre wood?” Killian lets his head fall back against the headboard as she laughs herself silly. “I have another solution,” she tells him, hands wringing nervously in the sleeves of his shirt. “I was thinking, maybe, since you’ve already missed your flight, and you probably don’t have a hotel room anymore, that you could stay here tonight. And maybe we could give that whole waking up together thing a shot.”

Her cheeks are flushed, freckles bright against the soft pink as she looks up from her hands to catch his eye. He kisses her hard enough that she’d have fallen right off his lap were it not for his arms holding her steady and close to him.

“That a yes?” she asks, mouth curling against his and he catches that smirking bottom lip between his teeth like he’s wanted to since she showed up at the station.

“Are you sure that’s what you want?”

She nods and it’s him smiling against her mouth now. “For tonight at least. But I think there’s still a lot of grovelling in your future before it becomes a regular thing.”

He kisses her again, rolls her onto her back beneath him. “Then I’d better get started right away,” he says, lips finding the length of her neck as he begins to work free the buttons of his stolen shirt.

“Well, you did promise you would write poetry about my boobs.”

“I what?” He looks up only to see her wearing the same confused frown as himself before her eyes widen with laughter and she covers her mouth with her hands.

“Oh my god. You haven’t seen your texts have you?”

Fuck.

*******

Tagging the usual people but let me know if you want to be removed or added!

@kmomof4 @elizabeethan @the-darkdragonfly @undercaffinatednightmare @jennjenn615 @dramioneswan @gingerchangeling @gingerpolyglot @kazoo5480 @lfh1226-linda @csalltheway @xsajx @xarandomdreamx @onceratheart18 @ownedbycaptainswan @teamhook @pirateprincessofpizza @lostintheskyfaraway @zaharadessert @thejollyroger-writer @ultraluckycatnd @justanother-unluckysoul @spartanguard @jonesfandomfanatic @deckerstarblanche @jrob64 @klynn-stormz @wefoundloveunderthelight @sailtoafarawayland @tiganasummertree @winterbaby89 @hollyethecurious @stahlop @superchocovian @snowbellewells @xellewoods @sals86 @karlyfr13s @ouatpost @skairipakomtrikru @lonelyspectator12 @anmylica @alexa-fangirl-forever @inspiredbystardust @marcella2727 @paradiselady19 @koryandr @killiansprincss @goforlaunchcee @motherkatereloyshipper

#captain swan #cs fanfic #captain swan fanfic #cs ff #cs angst #but also just a lot of funny drunk Killian #killian jones #captain hook #emma swan #this thing is ferral guys #I don't even know what this is but I hope you like it #silver hook #silver killian

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