truly believe ran is a kisser

one or two is not enough, a peck is never enough, his mouth is chasing, always chasing

sometimes you wonder if he even needs to breathe at all because the way he suctions himself to you feels ridiculous. sometimes you gently nudge him off, tutting that hes going to be late again

he mumbles right onto your mouth that he doesn’t care, maneuvering his tongue right back slotted into your lips. the room sounds are a filthy symphony; mouths smacking, his rough breathing, your squeaks and whimpers

he loves you like this, pliant under his hands, nirvana finds him here, pressing himself as close to you as he can, and if it were up to him hed crawl into your being entirely.

this is so incredibly self indulgent but. hear me out

𝗚𝗮𝗹𝗲 𝗵𝗮𝘀 𝗮𝗻 𝗮𝗳𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗹𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗮𝗻 𝘂𝗻𝗰𝗮𝗻𝗻𝘆 𝘁𝗮𝗹𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗻𝗲𝗰𝗿𝗼𝗺𝗮𝗻𝗰𝘆. For him, the feeling of the latter—striking, palpable, entirely all-body—is addictive. It feels the most potent, singing through his body in a manner that thrills, and after calling down lightning in a flash of blue, its the fragrance of a storm that he's proud to wear. It makes his nerves feel alive. His every muscle feels wired. In a way, life's at its brightest when he plays with lightning, and mad in his eyes and wild in his hair, there's no element that comes close to besting it.

That said, however, it is necromancy that he's grown most adept in. Unfortunately, his relationship with it isn't half as kind as it is with lightning. Rotting from the inside, skin cracking nastily, Gale had grown desperate to control the orb. Because he's dying, he thought it best to study dying, poring himself endlessly in necromantic textbooks and experimenting (unsuccessfully) on his blight-gotten wounds. To note, necromancy itself isn't inherently evil. For example, it doesn't mean you support the raising of the dead. Rather, it's a study that's neutral just as any other, and as a study on forces from both death to life, Gale, with urgency, obsessively learned. With his year in solitude, it is feverishly that he took to necromancy. Somatically and verbally, his aptitude for the field is practically bar-none, and after Elminster helped tame the orb, the breadth of his studies comes to fruition. It isn't his favorite field, but he'd be lying if he said he didn't thoroughly enjoy it. It works well, anyway, considering his leaning for lightning; with necromancy chilling him, those violent bolts warm.

Is it too late to mention that it’s always irked me when writers add to a finished story on twitter, and then it gets treated as canon?

This is, of course, different from the tweets where writers answer questions about unclear scenes that were already put in a story, or gaps in the narrative from scenes/chapters being cut. Those types of additions don’t bother me at all. But adding in completely mundane facts or events seemingly out of nowhere—on twitter no less—seems… like it shouldn’t be allowed?

I might be misreading how the fandom responds to this stuff though. I’ve always thought people took it with a grain of salt but it’s hard to figure out the line in the transformers fandom, when even undisputed canon is taken lightly and shuffled around in a blender.

I don’t write this with heat but I do have big feelings about it all the same. Jro’s tweets about random character facts that didn’t happen in the comics shouldn’t exist on the same level as, y’know, actual canon. I will die on this hill

Y’know, I’m all for giving the crap about forgetting the poor lizard babies but there’s a part of me that’s always genuinely wondered if Kathryn’s aware that there were actual babies and not just… y’know the dog’s version of a beloved toy.

That moment of panic when you're a book and a half into a multi-book series and you realize that you're getting too attached to a secondary character.

really really obsessed w the idea of rebooted media being just like.. reincarnation of the characters.

I am convinced the only possible way to be happy is to have absolutely no sense of the self or of one's own needs or desires

But the problem that I keep hitting upon is, there is a certain amount of food you need to live. There is a certain amount of oxygen you need to live. No amount of zen indifference to your surroundings is going to keep you alive in the vacuum of space.

Is there some baseline of emotional well-being you need to have even to begin to abandon your sense of self yet continue to live? If depression is an excessive self-regard or self-obsession, is the problem that you have your legitimate needs met but you don't know, or you have your legitimate needs met but selfishly want more, or could your heightened self-awareness actually be caused by a legitimate problem, in the same way that you can be hyper aware of your leg because your leg is actually broken

been rereading Partake (and WOW Elrond's come such a long way <33) and was really struck by the moment at the beginning of c2 when Gil tells Brimb that Elrond had asked if he'd join them again, because at this point Elrond doesn't ask... so was just wondering how you imagined that conversation played out. I'm assuming Gil isn't out and out lying bc that isn't his style, but wondering whether he more told Elrond 'this is what's gonna happen' and it just happens to dovetail with what Elrond wants

ok first of all thank you so much for rereading. It just blows my mind when people say they're rereading any of my fics -- and second of all thank you so much for sending me a question and letting me ramble! This was so nice to wake up to today!

And GOD yeah Elrond has come so far! It's kind of crazy looking back at those old chapters fr...

You're right, Partake!Gil (and in my opinion thus far: Showgalad) doesn't lie, but he does twist things around to suit the outcome he wants out of a situation. For me, the key to how that conversation probably went down is in this later window into Elrond's mindset from ch3 when he's talking to Brimb: “I very much enjoyed myself when you joined the king,” he says at last. “I thought that perhaps… you seemed to enjoy yourself too. I am not under any impression that it had anything truly to do with me,” and that is said with a self-deprecating smile. “You were there for the king, of course."

Elrond really, genuinely does think of himself as an afterthought when it comes to those first two chapters. He has no idea that Gil suggested the encounters because Gil noticed that Elrond & Brimb are into each other. He has no idea that Brimb had any interest in him beyond like, something very surface level/casual. In his head he's like...it's terrible to say but it's true-- really no different than any other toy or enhancement a couple might bring into the bedroom. Those nights were about Brimb and Gil primarily and he was just along for the ride because they enjoy him.

So, I have always kind of imagined that the conversation went something along the lines of Gil mentioning that he was going to invite Brimb over again for the night (in Gil's brain, with the obvious understanding that 'well, it seems like you two enjoyed each other, let's have a second round'), and Elrond -- not at all understanding that subtext -- asking whether or not they might need him/want to include him.

Which is not the same thing as Elrond outright saying "I had a good time, could we do it again?" but that's what Gil is twisting that question into when he rephrases it to Brimb -- because in Gil's brain, that's really how that conversation went. I'm not sure if I'm making complete sense but to me it's just one more thing that highlights the complete disconnect between how Gil-Galad views his relationship with Elrond (Elrond is a playmate), and how Elrond views their relationship (Elrond is a plaything).

It's also another small example of Partake!Gil's double-intentions-- because he always has a surface-level intention and a subsurface intention when he acts. His surface-level intention of twisting the question "do you two have need of me?" to "could Celebrimbor join us again?" is well that's obviously actually the conversation we're really having, Elrond just isn't direct with things. But I know what he's trying to say. -- and the subsurface intent here is getting Celebrimbor to agree. Gil knows Brimb just as well as he knows Elrond, and also Brimb is broadcasting all over the place that he's reluctant and uncomfortable regarding joining them a second time, and Gil rightly guesses that it's because Brimb isn't sure Elrond is consenting properly, and Gil also knows that Brimb won't accept Elrond wondering if they want him there as consent. Saying "Elrond wants you here, he asked about you", indicates Elrond is consenting to this, loosen up & have some fun.

Because, again, that's how Gil is viewing this situation. And in a weird twisted sort of way he's right. Because Elrond does want Brimb there. That doesn't mean the consent issues that Brimb's worried about aren't present, though!

I'm starting to ramble, but hopefully this all makes some kind of sense. It's just one little tiny example of how differently Elrond and Gil view their relationship and how Gil has a habit of twisting/reading into things and manipulating situations. I'm so glad you caught it!!!! Thank you so much for asking about it and giving me a chance to talk about it!!

being neurodivergent is all fun and games until you remember those hourly quote bots on twitter and think well maybe I can't make a bot anymore but I could schedule a few quotes a day, that shouldn't be hard. it sounds fun to have a bunch of quotes of my favorite character Thirteen from hit mobile game Obey Me! and its sequel Obey Me! Nightbringer. and then you think about how arduous collecting the quotes is going to be but she's only been in the games for maybe a year and a half with little screentime and you love collecting things so you start but then you remember that you love collecting things so naturally you have ALL of her screentime in the game and suddenly you have 45k characters of quotes and are several lessons into season 4 (which is truly a trial in and of itself) but not nearly close enough to the end but you refuse to just stop collecting the quotes and make the account with the EXCESS of what you have already because you literally only have season 4 to get through and if you don't do it just seeing the bot (because now you've been informed you can make tumblr bots instead) will haunt you with that knowledge even if nobody else would ever know. this is a general anecdote of a situation that could easily happen to anyone though and not in any way related to my life

I'm taking your post as permission to poke and prod and say, 'you can do it!'

Don't let this chapter kick your butt, you got this!!

it's kicking my butt :( it really, really is

Look, I like the idea of Bowser not recognizing Luigi when he's disguised as Peach as much as the next guy, I really do, but I feel like there is a lot of unwholesome potential between Bowser and Luigi if the Koopa King almost immediately found out that he kidnapped the wrong Peach.

Hi Rachel,

How do you find songs for your character/story playlists?

ok so I have an extremely limited music taste because I’m resistant to change and new music makes me uncomfortable <3 (DESPITE MY WISHES) so I only listen to a roster of ~10 artists that I’ve collected in my pocket like lil shiny rocks over the last ~10 years. (I really wish I could listen to new music just casually but I need to invest my entire life into an artist lol—the difference is for songs everyone hears frequently on the radio or songs I used to listen to at my job when I was 16 which you’ll find in a lot of my Spotify playlists). The reason why is majorly autism but also I buy all my music and don’t stream haha (unless it’s for the Spotify playlists, see above), so it’s an investment!

My ~~artists:

Nothing But Thieves

The Strokes

Surf Curse

Current Joys

Daughter

Greyson Chance

Jeff Buckley

Julia Jacklin

Marika Hackman

Sarah Kinsley

Billie Eilish

Near Tears

Other artists I’m not as invested in now but that teenage me was so invested in that they also appear in playlists:

Ed Sheeran (chokehold on 13-yr-old Rachel)

Katy Perry (I actually… should buy her recent music)

Paramore (was going to put paramore up top because I own most of their discography haha but haven’t kept up with the new albums!)

Whitney

So when I make a playlist, I queue up iTunes and just go through the same 600 songs I’ve been listening to for the last ~10 years LMAO and go like “oh this is relevant!” and add it to the playlist.

What’s fun is seeing how those same songs hold different meanings for different characters as time goes on!

btw it's simply hilarious to read accounts of carlos painted as a victorian era orphan who has to plead for Some Scrap Of Affection (daily getting cakes and surprise parties and compliments and cuddles from management and mechanics) and puts on a Brave Face in front of the Humiliation of Leaving Some Space For Charles Il Predestinato Leclerc' Signature on a Cap They Both Have To Sign... and the mental side eye to the reader with the sarcastic reminders that ferrari insists of not picking up a number 1 driver despite all these Clear Signs Of Favoritism (picking out bad photos i guess??)... british comedy truly is something else

i love interpreting spamton as like, someone who was some kind of pathetic, excessively timid, and constantly sickly victorian child, one who could barely get a word out edgewise back then and had an immune system with the strength of an autumn leaf that's already been stepped on

not for the purposes of woobifying him or anything but because a) the more that was in his way at the start the more desperate he'd become to prove himself, make it big, finally do anything right without being looked down upon with pity at best and outright ignored otherwise, that he'd give his life to the devil over the phone and b) it's funnier to me to imagine he was a sweet child that became such a deranged fucked up creature on the side of the road that is occasionally spotted and documented like he's cyber city's own bigfoot

i want to taxonomically categorize all of richters redesigns as though they evolved from a basal species (rondo of blood)