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#help tell me how to stay awake
nobodysgf · 2 years
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the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak (i need to study but i have heavy eyelids)
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stereax · 2 months
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woohoo spiraling out of control right now (what else is new really I've been fucked up and spiraling for weeks now) and trying to figure out reasons not to delete my tumblr and discord and myself along the way
but you know. talking about myself on my blog automatically means I'm attention seeking and fishing for pity right? should just shut up and stick to the news eh, it's all I'm good for :D
anyway if you need me I'll be in the corner reliving the past, coming to terms with reality, and trying to convince myself I'm not the problem despite every indication to the contrary ✌︎︎
#sterechats :)#09:58 pm - this is a bad idea but scheduling it anyway#what's the worst that can happen really? everyone leaves again? nobody talks to me again?#probably gonna delete this in the morning so. meh. not like it matters not like I matter :D#10:29 pm - wow it feels like my head is on fire#like my brain is actually burning and I can't do a damn thing about it#I should be happy right now! the devils are winning! my favorite guys are scoring!#but no! I'm barely keeping it together around my family and praying I don't wake up tomorrow <3#11:00 pm - I need to get out of here#I need to get out of here out of here out of here I can't stay here any more this is killing me#everyone hates me and I need to chew my arms open maybe then everything will make sense#why am I even writing these tags what does it matter#I was so much more in control of myself when I was sh-ing#maybe I should get back to that maybe it'll help I don't know anymore#I just want my friends back but they hate me hahahaha#11:24 pm - wonder how many people are gonna block me after this one#how many people will finally be fed up and leave for good#everyone leaves and I should be used to this by now#here's a truck stop instead of saint peter's (yeah yeah yeah yeah)#11:41 pm - it's friday afternoon/there goes antigone to be buried alive#in the next world I want to be something useful/like a staple gun/or in love#I would fall off a cliff for you/a thousand times and call it a good day#maybe I'm just incapable of being human! maybe that's it!#maybe I'm not even human at all... but something worse instead...#1:22 am - moving the posting of this back from 3 to 6 am#not that that matters and not that I matter but I don't think I'll sleep#and I don't want this to post when I'm awake#I know I'm just going to get unfollowed and blocked and left behind as always#because happiness and good things and friendships just aren't things I get to have really#I just wish people would stop lying and telling me they're different and they'll stay when they're not different and won't stay
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steampoweredskeleton · 6 months
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Ignore
#delete later#god i wish i was neurotypical#found out my flatmate is going to be away for a few days after they left and bc id had no warning my anxiety spiked so hard#that i had such a wave of nausea i had to lie down#idk why that fucking happened. ridiculous. irs not like it really affects that much. just the thing of my home being changed in any way#without warning freaks me the fuck out. couldnt do any work til id laid under my weighted blanket at lunch#and like obvs this is an entirely me thing. i dont expect my flatmates to tell me every detail of what they're doing#not sure how to keep myself from freaking over it though. will think on it#but yeah. if i was neurotypical id be fine. i also want to play ky video games after work but im akways so exhausted that all i can do#is lie in bed under my weighted blanket. it is so frustrating. im so tired. not helped that pain is fucking me up in new ways#so im also upset aboit that. and that christmas is approaching abd that changes the routine completely#and is always overwhelming#but this year im staying home so i will be able to keep it quiet and low key and it'll be just me so i dont have to think about#masking in any way which is kind of nice as even the vibe of Christmas takes a lot oit of me#i enjoy the thought of it and always hate the day. same as my birthday. fun in theory. incredibly stressful actually#idk whether it's work stressing me oit long term but right now any change to what im expecting from my routine is making me#so so so frustrated and upset#i had to go get meds after work on tiesday and became so upset by it that i was awake until 1am and was super nauseous#not enjoying that as a primary symptom of anxiety rn. i find eating hard enough as it is#the hair washing routine has given ne sone stability this week which was very nice abd made me feel calm. abd mt physio routine#the energy it takes to do it is outweighed by the relief i get when ive done that part of my routine and then go to bed#work is hard. working full time is so hard. im coping but not well. defo think i need to try getting regular therapy sessions if only#to help me plan for what i need to do and work through coping strategies bc im really hitting a wall. i need to problem solve all#these things but im so exhausted that i can't. so they just keep piling up
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arthur-r · 1 year
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(vent cw sorry i ran out of room in the tags to say that. it’s illness-related anger as usual. content warning for medical everything)
im so fucking sick though. just in general
#and i am so tired of people acting like they know my experiences better than i do#stayed home from school today falling behind in everything couldn’t fcuking get out of bed and my dad said that yesterday my energy was up#so i’m obviously faking it today. like yeah yesterday i laid in bed for hours then came to your house and sat in a chair. saw me for 30min#you don’t get to tell me that yesterday i was feeling well because i fucking wasn’t and you have never noticed or cared#when i fucking passed out got a black eye from hitting my head on the way down. he didn’t fucking bat an eye#now i’m stuck awake because i have stomach pain and my heart has been pounding so loud for hours#and i’m trying to sleep and i need to make it to school tomorrow but i can’t#and i’ve been trying and i’ve been lying awake. and at this point i don’t know how to deal with this anymore#i get sick three times a month you’re supposed to be sick three times a year. this isn’t even counting days where i can’t stand#when i say i’m sick i mean i have sore throat congestion and sometimes fever. and it’s almost always a direct result of trying to live life#like i went to the mall thursday prom shopping. walked a few hours. woke up next morning sore throat runny nose couldnt focus on school from#all the pain in so many places and all of my regular symptoms just being escalated so badly. cant think can’t see cant stand#and that is messed up!!!! that is messed up!!!! and my mother tells me she finally agrees i need anxiety medicine#like hey thanks!! that’s helpful!! however!! why do you only endorse mental when it’s the only alternative to physical#why has my mom always denied viewing my anxiety as anything i shouldn’t just push aside. until it becomes a way to tell me that my physical#problems should also just be pushed aside. why is it so hard to get an audience with a doctor#ANYWAYS i have my stupid follow up appointment. this friday. i dont know how it’s gonna go down#i’m just going to tell the doctor how much it fucking sucks. i guess i’m going to ask for a referral to a neurology specialist in the cities#which will drive my family insane they don’t want to enter the cities to help me. but our clinic doesn’t have what i need#i might get the doctor to do a stress test on friday though if they can do that. but i want specific autonomic testing#and like yeah. i get that anxiety is in the autonomic system. part of fight flight freeze and what EVER i’m not trying to say it’s not!!!!#but does it occur to anyone that my heightened anxiety is one of several symptoms. rather than somehow being the cause#heart rate in panic attack sitting down is 120bpm. heart rate in normal brain walking down the hallway is 140bpm. it’s not my fucking brain#anyway i just need a doctor to actually fucking look at me. actually do the tests actually monitor. because it’s there if you look#but nobody cares enough to look and i just have to sit here falling behind in all my classes and not able to do my job that i love#and just wait for it to somehow get better when i’ve been like this as long as i can remember and maybe it’s worse now but it’s always been#there and everybody writes it off as me being lazy or not putting in enough work and maybe i would have been in sports as a kid if i could!!#people act like my fitness now is because of choices i made as a child but i have ALWAYS had worse reaction to exercise than my friends#and anyway i just. idk. sore throat and stuff is gone now but overall discomfort and disability is not. but i’m going to school cause i cant#keep missing it for health reasons just have to watch my heart go insane and do nothing. out of tags i’m sorry. i’m just so tired.
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lilgynt · 1 year
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obligatory dad i will beat the shit out of you if you put ur hands on my mom moment
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#personal#just broke up a fight then put my dad down for bed with a whole lecture#but definitely a moment#i think forcing them to let go of each other was more emotionally than like#more emotional for me#idk sternly talking to my father#anyway i didn’t tell him but i did tell my mom next to him in a normal speaking voice#if he gives you any issues call me if he touches you yell and i’ll fucking take care of him#then emphasized to him again my mom needs to sleep for both their sakes or else she’s gonna attack him#he cannot talk to her touch her he doesn’t have to sleep but he can’t bother her#and then left but i heard him talking to her so i came in and was like#why do i hear you talking to her? no talking no touching. let her sleep. if i hear it again i’ll come in again. then left#oh and mentioned how my mom has to be awake in four hours and i have to been awake not to long after we need to sleep#anyway i don’t like talking to him like that bc like#a lot of this isn’t his choice his brain is actively fighting him and making him like he is#and good news we’re getting someone to stay with us sunday and physical therapist coming in tomorrow to help dad#a lot of this isn’t his choice but there’s only so much my mom and i can do 24/7#i hope my mom knows i’m not kidding about that like#not in a weird way but also ma’am he’s just some guy who beat me as a kid most days and ur my mom for better or for worse#like that’s genuinely not asking a lot#i mean kinda fucked up old dude with dementia but like i know him and he had it coming and if he puts his hands on my mom etc etc#and i mean mostly i just want him safe and comfortable i don’t want to upset him or hurt him#but like if he tries it honestly probably won’t even be hard to just keep him down#he might still have a decent amount of muscle mass over so can’t ignore that but also he’s an elderly blind man#and i outweigh and am taller than him#like not gonna say oh easy peasy cause he does have a decent amount of strength left but pretty sure i can keep him down or kick his ass
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My roommate was telling me how I’ve been up until almost 6am every night and how she tells me all the time to be quieter and when I told her that coming out of her room to ask me when I’m going to bed and telling me she doesn’t know when I ask her if something is wrong doesn’t tell me to be quiet is apparently gaslighting??
#bestie has been moved around 5 times now for housing bc she can’t get along with anyone#I’m seeing why#literally. first time she’s said she wants me to be quiet. and I’m like oh yeah for sure#and then she’s like I’ve told you so many times to be quiet at night just because you’re up all night doesn’t mean I have to be#and she was like I want to change our roommate agreement bc ur such a problem#clearly you’re only doing this bc I enforced the overnight guest rule that they can’t stay past 1am#and I’m like. none of that is true?? and she’s going on and on#and then she’s like well how would you like people being awake when you want to sleep?? and I’m like that’s something I’m super used to#and then she’s like well you have no empathy at all you’re so defensive and rude it’s just not nice#and it’s like. bestie. i knew all about u before u moved in. there’s a reason we had to fill out our agreement with the housing coordinator#she’s like and you should know I’ve been in contact with our ra. and I have someone one the phone right now as a witness#this was like 20 mins into the conversation like buddy if that’s the route you wanna go I will go#also me and our ra? besties. i make her cake pops and desserts. she really liked the lemon cake pops I made#and she can’t stand my roommate bc she goes out of her way to cause problems and lie#so like. we were already talking about her today when she stopped by for a cake pop#she was just telling me earlier like hey you really should email the housing coordinator for her doing those things it’s really not alright#the things being every time I have a conversation with someone she cracks her door open to listen in#but now I can’t send that email or else it’s retaliation#this girl is an absolute trip. universally hated by every ra on this campus#also she tries to freak my ra out by telling her we talk about her all the time. i do by best to not interact with her at all if I can help#oh oh oh. and she texted my ra saying I was having people over past what’s allowed every night for a week straight. which I haven’t at all#she really underestimates how good of friends I am with my ra. I’m dating a very close friend of hers and on top of that she used to be at#my apartment like every other day until roomie moved in. and she’s a known liar! why would either of us listen to a word she says about us#so yeah. those r the updates that I’m battling against#soup talks#no but for realsies tho. bestie has been moved so many times. her old roommate is an ra friend of mine and they cannot Stand each other#I’m pretty sure this is her last chance with campus housing. and god do I see why#also girl hates sound. Hates it. calls the ra on call whenever there’s wind bc we have old windows that r noisy#oh it’s also important to note we aren’t roommate roommates. we have our own bedrooms it’s like a normal 2bd apartment#so if she wanted to shut herself in her room she could. but noo she’s gotta crack open the door to listen in to everything I say and do
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ventcode · 1 year
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i feel like my only emotions are Upset and Angry or Very Really Gay which isn't true but most people just see those two!!
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swagging-back-to · 2 months
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i find it so interesting how mice from a petstore will always be awake during the day and sleeping at night until they're left to acclimate and make their own schedule.
#there are no breeders in new england north of new york so I have to go to a petstore#thankfully tho the two i go to seem to somewhat provide for their mice. like#i havent gotten a pregnant female which tells me they separate them by sex properly#none of them have been sick right from the petstore either.#none of them have injuries from stress fighting#and they actually throw in a few toys for them to play with.#it isnt great by any means but it's way better than it could be. it's better than some mice from breeders are.#ive seen people talking about how their mice are sick the day they got them from the breeder/died right after/have no socialization at all#all my mice except for EXACTLY two (out of 12 mice I've had now.) have been socialized and liked to be held right out of the carrier box.#a lot of them chose to stay on me instead of going into their new tanks.#but no anyway no longer getting side tracked; you'd think mice from a petstore would sleep#during the day and be awake all night long bc that's when no one would be at the store to watch them#and they wouldnt have bright fluorescent lights#but it's the exact opposite. theyre wide awake all day long. They don't even go into their house until it becomes night time#and ig you could say it's bc they're exploring their new enriched environment with all the new smells#and houses and toys and foods#but#i think it has more to do with their time at the petstore. even tho the petstores put the mice and rats out back way out of view#to the point i got lost my first time in there and had to ask for help#it's like they dont even really know how to be mice yet#and given the fact all my girlies were babies when I got them (super tiny) they're just doing what they've done their entire lives
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schrodingerscougar · 2 months
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Note: Wow, the roommate!Simon story blew up. Anyway, here's part 2.
Following his conversation with Johnny, Simon begins to think. He begins to consider the possibility that maybe, just maybe, he’s developing feelings for you. Why else would he be so protective and mad when the sergeant talks this way about you? The thought scares him at first.
For one, being near him is a death sentence, he saw that with his family. He can’t even imagine surviving losing someone he loved again. Then there is another thing, the fact he isn’t sure you would return his feelings. If you didn’t, as he suspects, living with you would be torture, and he’s honestly too lazy to look for a new place to stay.
The next time he arrives home in the middle of the day, the apartment is empty since you’re at your workplace most probably. Not seeing your face brighten at the sight of him makes his heart ache, but he knows you’ll be home in two or three hours, so he can most certainly survive that by lying down to catch up on sleep. He leaves a post-it for you on the small table next to the front door where you always put your keys, warning you that he’s back home.
He’s woken by the smell of fresh coffee and something sweet. When he checks the clock on his bedside, he notices it’s past seven, which means he slept a good four hours without interruptions. The new record of the past weeks as the most he slept peacefully was two hours tops. He climbs out of bed and goes to the living room, surprised to see you in the kitchen, humming a song to yourself as you admire the neatly cut brownies on the kitchen island.
“You’re awake!” you exclaim happily, quickly pressing a button on the coffee machine to make him some coffee too, then pick up an empty plate and put a slice of brownie on it. “Welcome home. Here, try this. I thought you might use some homemade things after being away for so long.”
That damn smile of yours. It’s wide, happy, and it easily warms his heart and makes him smile too. Your good mood is infectious and he finds himself stuffing the cookie into his mouth as he stands next to you, nudging your side with his hip playfully. “It’s perfect, thank you,” he says while chewing, earning a roll of your eyes. You hate it when someone talks with their mouth full, so he quickly swallows the remains and goes, “Sorry.”
You shake your head with a laugh then turn away to get his coffee. Simon can’t help but wonder if this is how things would always be if you were his wife, if you would be this kind and caring all the time. He certainly could get used to this. He wouldn’t believe he deserves all the love, but he would definitely enjoy your attention.
“What got you thinking so hard?”
Simon lets out a questioning hum before realizing he zoned out for a while. “You,” he replies honestly.
“Me?”
“Mm-hmm.” Before you could ask more questions, he moves in front of you, trapping you between the kitchen island and his body as he leans down to you. “I had an interesting conversation with someone and it got me thinking while I was gone,” he says with his lips moving so close he almost kisses you. “Do you have any idea how much I miss you when I’m deployed? How many times do I wonder what you’re doing while I’m away?”
It’s easy to tell, especially from this close, that your heart is racing and your breath is caught in your throat as you watch him. Your eyes are moving back and forth between his lips and his eyes, unable to decide what to focus on. You’re both under a spell that he doesn’t want to break, in fact he wants this moment to last forever, this anticipation before he finally makes up his mind to kiss you. He wants to do it, but he can’t help but think about whether or not you would be against it.
Maybe he thinks too much, maybe his brain is too focused on the negative thoughts, and before he knows it, you move your head to capture his lips with yours in a slow and sensual kiss. Simon is aware that he has issues. He understands that his brain is only on high alert because deep down he doesn’t believe he deserves your attention. After all, he’s not a good man. Well, not always. He does his job like a good little soldier, but the lines are blurry between good and bad.
He knows that you know this too. Shortly after he moved in and found out what he did for a living, you had a lot of questions, many that he simply wasn’t allowed to answer. But you probably sensed that he was keeping things to himself, certain aspects of this position that civilians would never understand. He didn’t want to scare you away, he didn’t want you to throw him out, so he kept his mouth shut. You knew that and never pried for more information.
When your nails dig into the skin on his back in a desperate attempt to pull him closer, Simon finally returns to the moment, returning your delicious kiss while his hands grab your ass and help you on the counter behind you. His lips trail from your lips to the shell of your ear, whispering praises until he feels your hands moving to his belt.
As much as he wants that, he knows he has to stop you. So he reaches down to grab your hands, pulling them away and lacing his fingers with yours as he kisses the tip of your nose. “Not yet, love. Let’s go on a proper date first, yeah?” he asks you with a small smile.
You whine, then you beg for more, asking him why you have to go on a date when you've been living together for over a year now. He tells you that the reason is simple; he spent a bigger part of it away from home so you have to get to know each other.
“I know you, Simon,” you push on, your fingers tracing the tattoos on his forearm as you speak. When you see the determination in his eyes, you finally let out a sigh of defeat and say, “Okay, fine. Let's go on a date first. But don't even think about something fancy. Let's keep it simple.”
With a short laugh, he leans down to give you a quick kiss. “Understood.”
Later in the evening, way past eleven, the two of you finally say goodnight and he returns to his room. There's a message waiting on his phone, one that came from Johnny. “I’ll send her a DM if you won't introduce me,” it says.
“Better not. She's taken,” he replies.
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stalkerr-daddy · 18 days
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Laying in bed, cuddling with you after a long day. As we’re talking I notice that you’re getting sleepy, having a hard time staying awake, I stop talking and let you fall into a deep sleep. Seeing how pretty and vulnerable you look gets me horny, I can’t help myself, trying not to wake you, I slowly pull your shirt down, revealing your perfect tits while you’re innocently sleeping, at first I take a few pictures because I don’t want to wake you up. But I start getting desperate just looking at them, I start groping you, recording a video of my hands all over your tits, squeezing and pinching your nipples, I spit on your tits and rub it in. Getting more and more desperate I can’t take it anymore and I pull your panties off, recoding the whole thing. When I pull them off and notice how wet you are I let out a gasp, taking my finger and lightly touching you to see how wet and sticky you are, even when you’re asleep your pussy is wet, ready to be fucked. I push my finger in, seeing how deep I can get before you start clenching around it, having a wet dream. Filming the whole time as I explore your unconscious hole with my fingers, spreading you open to see how pretty your insides are. I truly can’t take it anymore, I pull my hard cock out, rubbing the tip between your wet lips, making sure I’m nice and lubed up to push it in. As I’m doing that you start moving around, and I stop making sure you stop moving before I continue anymore. When you stop, I slowly shove my cock inside of you, feeling you clench around it with every inch going inside, slowly fucking you, filming my cock going in and out of your unconscious hole, groping your tits. The more desperate I get for your pussy the faster I go, and as I start going faster, harder you start stirring awake more and more, I don’t even stop anymore, I just keeping fucking your little hole, until you’re moaning and awake, wondering what was happening. You call out my name and you feel me wrap my arms around you and I tell you “it’s ok baby, it’s just a dream i promise. Go back to bed sweetheart, the dream will end very soon” slowing my pace down to fuck you back to sleep so you don’t get suspicious. And when I get you back to sleep, I make sure that I drain my balls deep into your stomach, filling you full of cum and going to sleep with you in my arms. Once we wake up, you tell me about your crazy little dream last night and I reassure you that it was just a dream, and everything is ok, knowing I have the whole video hidden away in my camera roll
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tia-222 · 8 months
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Enter the void on command by turning off your left brain and how to do it.
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❥ About this post :
Hey angels, so today's post is about " how to turn off your left brain to enter the void state instantly" , when I say instantly I mean it. So, most of you know that the left brain is basically the conscious mind. When we turn our left brain off completely our subconscious is fully emerged ready to accept any suggestions we offer it. I realised that many of us struggle with limiting beliefs and doubts when entering the void or doing a method. Well, in this post you will learn how to make these limiting beliefs disappear Instantly and this is also a scientific method for your logical brain. Also, by turning of your left brain you will naturally go into a deep meditative state bypassing all the necessary work you need to do to reach deep consciousness. Ready to enter the void state ??
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Let's get straight into it :
Firstly, let me say that this method is extremely easy and don't overcomplicate it. This is also very helpful, if you are trying to shift or manifest something instantly. When the left brain is turned off expect Manifestations in seconds...
✩°。⋆⸜ 🎧✮
Step 1 :
(Optional) Setting an intention : before doing this method , you can set an intention like " I intend to enter the void state and be successful in it" or whatever you want, you may say this out loud or in your head. Now, i know some of us just go with the flow and there's nothing wrong with that. But before, have you ever considered making an intention beforehand that you are gonna enter the void state. Intention governs our brain into focusing on a specific task and make sure, we get it done.
Step 2 :
Get into a comfortable position. You can either sleep on your back or lay on your side, anything works tbh. And there's no specific position that you need too lay in. Choose whatever makes you comfortable, love.
Step 3 :
Keep your right brain awake! Guys, this is so easy istg. You can keep your right brain awake by :
- Listening to your fave song ( just like the zone out method by ghostfest), now tell me what's your fave song? Just pop into YouTube, play your fave song for about 15 minutes on loop. Don't blast it, play it like at a medium volume.
OR
- MAJOR TIP, you can imagine your desired scenario. If you're a daydreamer like me and can't stay still then doing this will most definitely help you. All you need do to is imagine something, ik some of us can't sleep without our romantic scenarios, so you can do that. Whatever you want to imagine , GO AHEAD!!
Step 4 :
Stay still! Don't worry, you don't have to stay still for hours, but only for 15 minutes. By staying still, you are convincing your brain that you are sleeping. You only need 15 minutes :-). And when you're staying still, begin moving your eyes fairly rapidly in all directions - imagine you’re looking at the night sky and you’re trying to look at every star. If your eyes start to feel tired or hurt, slow down a little. You can do this with your eyes open or closed - up to you! You’re doing this to trick your body into thinking you’re in REM sleep. This also helps keep your mind awake. You can do this about 15 times.
Step 5 :
In about 15 minutes, you will start feeling like you are floating. But, about 15-20 minutes you will start to feel like you're floating. Also, you may feel like your body is numb, twitching, etc. Now, don't get excited or move! It's just your body telling you that your left brain is completely shut off and your subconscious is awake.
Step 6 :
Start affirming and you'll literally tap into the void state instantly. You can affirm " I'm in the void right now"and your subconscious will make that immediately to happen because our conscious mind is completely turned off and won't interfere with our Affirmations. And once you're in the void state, you can say your desired Affirmation ♡. Once exiting the void state, you will have what you affirmed for instantly.
✩°。⋆⸜ 🎧✮
Q and A's :
What's the best time to do this method?
- Before bed and right after you wake up.
Is this method Guaranteed?
- Yesss!! It's really popular in the shifting community and helped a lot of people to shift and manifest their desires.
What happens if we move and does it ruin the process?
Honestly, nothing will happen. Start again and don't put pressure on yourself. It's only for 15 minutes. Remember, we do move in the night, but after that we tend to become still again. So, if you moved, don't panic because you can start again.
Does it really take 15 minutes for left brain to be shut off ?
Scientifically, yess.
Is moving the eyes necessary?
I'd say yess, if you want bypass going into Rem sleep and stuff. It's all about convincing your brain and this is perfect.
Can we listen to any music?
Yess!! Whatever song you like <33
Will we enter the void right after our left brain is asleep?
You will enter instantly because your conscious mind is asleep and your subconscious is super suggestible.
Summary :
1. Set an intention that you will get into the void state ( optional).
2. Get into a comfortable position. Whatever position that makes you comfortable.
3. Keep your right brain awake! You can listen to your fave sings, or imagine any desired scenarios. You can do anything that relaxes you.
4. Stay still for about 15 - 20 minutes. When you staying still move your eyes either closed or open around in circles. By doing this, it will convince your brain that your in REM sleep. You can do this 10-15 times.
5. It takes 15 minutes for your body to be convinced that you're sleeping. You'll start feeling symptoms like floating, tingling, etc.
6. Start affirming for the void state and you'll get there almost instantly because your subconscious is full awake. Start affirming for your Manifestations.
7. Live your dream life! <33
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luxaofhesperides · 3 months
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Soulmark AU + Sleeping Beauty ; requested by @candeartist422!
For the last few years, Duke’s been waiting for his soulmate to die.
It sounds cruel to say it that way. But the waiting is more painful, he thinks, than just mourning a lost love. It’s not like most people ever meet their soulmates anyways; his parents weren’t meant to be, but they still loved each other and had a life together. He wishes he could turn his focus away from his soulmate, but Duke is a romantic at heart and has always wanted to find the other half of his soul.
But since he was fourteen, his soulmark has dulled, fading in and out of color. What was once a vibrant blue crystal star, with eight points and a swirl of watercolor hues around it, dimmed more and more until Duke was sure he was watching his soulmate die slowly. 
His soulmate didn’t die then. Whoever they are got better, his soulmark gaining color, but it never went back to the way it was. For years after, Duke would check at the beginning and end of each day, keeping track of when it faded and when it regained its color. 
He thought his soulmate was sick. In and out of hospitals, fighting to stay alive.
And then it went nearly colorless. 
Duke doesn’t remember much about that day. He knows he woke up, brushed his teeth, the lifted up his shirt to check his soulmark in the mirror. The blue was almost completely gone, the star on his left hipbone nearly gray with how colorless it was. He started at it for a moment, shocked, and reality slid away from him as he retreated into the safety of his mind, fully dissociating. 
Bruce had found him when Duke didn’t show up for breakfast. He held him and offered quiet words of comfort that Duke couldn’t understand, but just having someone with him lessened the hurt of losing his soulmate. 
Seeing the color come back the next day, faint as it was, hurt even more.
A year later, Duke still can’t break the habit of checking his soulmark twice a day. It hasn’t changed at all, still faint and dim, but carrying just enough color to show that his soulmate was still alive. At the very least, they were still breathing, but his chance of ever meeting them is basically zero. Still, he can’t help but hope, wishing that he could meet them even once before they die and leave him forever. 
“Same as ever,” he murmurs to himself as he brushes his thumb against his soulmark. He’s terrified that he’s forgotten how beautiful the blue of it was when his soulmate was healthy. 
Duke doesn’t let himself think on it too much anymore. Though his thoughts often turn to his soulmate during quiet moments like these, the busy nature of Gotham is usually more than enough to pull his attention back to the here and now. There’s no use in obsessing over his soulmate anyways; they’re just going to die, sooner or later, and Duke knows he’ll never get to meet them. They’ll just be another empty space in his life, right next to his parents. 
“Come on, Thomas, focus,” he tells himself firmly, then gets dressed and heads down to the kitchen for breakfast.
The manor is quiet. It usually is in the mornings, with everyone from the night shift dead asleep and trying to get as much rest as they can before they have to start their day. Not that many of them stay in the manor these days; Duke and Damian are the only permanent residents at the moment, but Steph usually stays half with her mom and half in the manor during the summers when she’s home from college, and the others drop in whenever they feel like it. 
Bruce lives more in the Batcave than the manor, so he doesn’t really count. It’s also why Duke is surprised to see Bruce awake and dressed like a normal person, drinking coffee in the kitchen as if this is a normal occurrence. 
“Morning,” Duke offers.
“Good morning, Duke,” Bruce replies. “Sleep well?”
“Well enough. Alfred out or something?”
“He may have kicked me out of the Batcave to clean it up a bit,” Bruce answers tiredly. “Want me to make breakfast?”
Duke has heard the horror stories of Bruce’s attempts to make edible food in a kitchen. In the interest of not dealing with food poisoning, Duke shakes his head quickly and says, “Nah, it’s fine. I was kinda wanting to eat out for breakfast. Get out there as me, and not a mask, you know?”
“Mind if I join you? Alfred may forgive me for not sleeping if I willingly go outside.”
Duke laughs. “Sure man, as long as you pay.”
“I’ll drive, too.”
“What, don’t trust me behind a wheel?”
Bruce gives him a tired look, eyes dead and dull. “I have taught all my children how to drive. The day I willingly let them take the wheel when I am not actively dying is the day I’ve been replaced by a robot clone of myself who doesn’t know better yet.”
“That is… very specific. Is that a thing you usually worry about?”
“I’m Batman. I have to worry about everything.”
Yeah, that tracks. Duke wouldn’t be surprised if he has at least five contingency plans for that scenario, should it ever happen. “Well,” he says, “Right now, all you need to worry about is having your wallet and driving us down to The Foodie Nook. I’ve been craving their breakfast plates for ages.”
Bruce doesn’t object to his choice of restaurant and follows Duke down to the garage, grabbing a random set of keys and pointing it out to the many cars he owns. One near the front blinks its lights as it unlocks and Duke cheerfully tosses himself into the passenger seat as Bruce opens the garage door. 
The drive into Gotham is smooth. They don’t hit traffic until they reach the bridge that leads into the city proper, taking them away from the quiet of Bristol. The morning is busy, but not enough that Duke worries about being out as the Signal to help keep the peace. It’s a normal type of busy, one borne from people going about their lives, feeling safe enough to go out. 
The Foodie Nook is entirely local and very popular, so the parking lot is nearly full. But they expanded their space last year, which means he and Bruce don’t have to sit outside while they wait to grab a table. Bruce keeps conversation light and casual, well aware of the many listening ears around them, and it’s nice, feeling normal for once. 
Well, as normal as life can be with Bruce Wayne™. The server who comes to lead them to a table realizes who she’s talking to after she gets a proper look at them while holding open the door and promptly stutters over her words. 
“No need for any special treatment,” Bruce laughs lightly, “We’re just here for breakfast. Nothing special.”
“Of course,” she replies, cheeks red. “Um, right this way! We’ve got a table by the windows for you. Just two, yeah?”
“Yup! Just two. Thought this was a good day to spend some time with Duke. He’s a great kid, you know, I’m glad I was given the opportunity to foster him.”
The sunny, cheerful Bruce Wayne persona is so different from the usual Bruce he works with that it feels like he’s standing next to a stranger. But his words are sincere and warm his heart, filling up the gaps that his soulmate has left. 
“Here you are!” their server announces, showing them to their table. “I’ll be right back with some menus.” She’s gone in a rush, and other customers glance over before quickly averting their gaze. 
It’s one of the unspoken rules of Gotham: give the Waynes their privacy while they’re out in public. Questions and conversation are for public events only, but if they see a Wayne out and about during a normal day, everyone leaves them be unless spoken to first. Duke used to follow those rules as well when he was just another Gothamite. It’s strange being on the other side of that now that he’s in with the Waynes.
Duke barely has to look through the menu when it’s handed to him. The breakfast plates are his favorites and he gets one every single time he comes to The Foodie Nook; stacked full with breakfast foods from around the world. As a kid, he loved the Mexico Plate, but these days he’s craving either the Brazilian Plate or the Vietnamese Plate.  
He can’t decide on which one and thinks about tossing a coin to decide, but seeing how that’s Two Face’s whole thing, he decides to hold off and settle the matter with eenie-meenie-minnie-mo. 
He gets the Vietnamese Plate.
Bruce, on the other hand, reads through the entire menu like it’s a novel, then leans over and says rather loudly, “Duke, what’s a tort-illa.” 
The pain he feels hearing that is only worsened by the amusement in Bruce’s eyes. He’s doing it on purpose, playing up the Brucie act for the public so he can psychologically torment Duke. A few nearby customers choke back laughter, turning away to hide their smiles. 
Duke shakes his head and says, “Don’t worry about it. It’s just food. Don’t ask any more questions, I just want a peaceful breakfast.”
“Well then,” Bruce replies, “I suppose I know what to order now.”
As if she was summoned, their server reappears before them, cheeks still looking a little flushed. “Hi! Ready to order?”
She writes down their orders quickly, valiantly keeping a straight face at Bruce’s mispronunciation of tortilla, then heads off to deliver their orders to the kitchen. 
Rather than draw out a conversation with Brucie Wayne, Duke settles for playing a few idle games on his phone; his current favorite is one quiet cat cafe game where he directs cats into fulfilling cafe orders. 
Bruce, despite being out in his civilian identity, is working. He’s on his Batman phone, which looks the same as his other cell phones except this one has a bat symbol sticker just barely hiding a Superman sticker on the phone case. His brow is slightly furrowed as he reads whatever file he’s accessing from the Batcomputer. It’s a little worrying but it could be anything. Bruce makes the same expression when he reads one of Tim’s snarky comments getting quoted in the news.
But that’s not Duke’s problem! He’s here to enjoy his breakfast and it will take the end of the world itself to remove him from his seat before he’s done eating.
The game takes most of his attention until their food comes out, and by then Bruce has tucked away the smallest of his Batman mannerisms. They enjoy a normal, peaceful breakfast. Bruce ends it by asking their server if she has any debt that’s weighing her down, then giving her a tip that’s at least five thousand dollars above that. 
She does cry and Bruce hugs her. It’s very sweet. 
As soon as they get back into the car, his easy going smile drops and Duke knows some superhero nonsense is about to take over his day. 
“Duke,” Bruce starts, seriously, “I received a message from Zatanna.”
“Don’t drag this out,” Duke says, “Just give it to me straight. What terrible thing is about to happen to us?”
“It’s nothing too big. They just recently defeated a magical being who had been tearing apart secret government facilities in Illinois. He had both magic and a high tech weapon, which they confiscated and are delivering to me. The government agency he was fighting was suspiciously interested in the weapon, and based on their behaviors and newly revealed work, Zatanna made the decision to turn the weapon over to us so it doesn’t fall into the wrong hands.”
Bruce smoothly merges into traffic as he speaks, getting them onto the road back to the manor. There’s a look in his eyes that means he’s keeping a lot unsaid, and Duke knows without a doubt that whatever this government agency was doing is bad if Zatanna needs Batman to act as extra security. 
He’s not sure about her decision to trust the weapon to be safe in Gotham, either. Sure, Batman will keep it as safe as he can, but with their luck, it’ll end up in the hands of a Rogue and lead to a lot of death and destruction. 
As soon as they cross the bridge and return to Bristol, Bruce steps on the gas and the car tears down the road. Without any other cars to worry about (or traffic laws), it takes barely two minutes to reach the manor, when the gates open for them and let them into the garage. 
Alfred waits for them by the door, looking them over with a critical eye. “I see you have managed to go outside, Master Bruce. What’s the special occasion?”
“Just breakfast,” Bruce answers. “I’m heading back down to the Batcave. Zatanna will be here soon to deliver a weapon.” He’s gone before Alfred can say anything more, hurrying down the hall and turning the corner, disappearing from sight as he heads towards his office. 
“I see we have yet to break that bad habit of his. Did you enjoy your morning out, Master Duke?”
“Sure did, Alfred. I’m, uh, also going down to the Batcave. He’s definitely not telling me a lot about what’s going on, so I’m just going to read about it over his shoulder. I’ll be back up for lunch, though!”
“And perhaps you’ll be able to drag Master Bruce away from that cave of his,” Alfred comments wryly as he walks with Duke towards the office. He gives Duke a nod, then splits away from him, returning to the kitchen where Duke can hear Damian speaking to someone, probably Tim by the annoyed tone of his voice, and mentally wishes Alfred luck in handling them.
Duke sets the correct time on the clock in Bruce’s office and heads down to the Batcave, taking the steps two at a time. 
Bruce is already at the Batcomputer, shoulders tensed, when he arrives. 
“More bad news?” he asks as he makes his way over.
Bruce doesn’t bother looking away from the screen as he says, “More details about the fight. It seems the magical being called himself a ghost and was going on a rampage due to a betrayal. He says they nearly killed his son.”
“Oh, yikes.”
“And two of the scientists working with the government agency said that he stole their son and is keeping them from saving him.”
“Yikes,” Duke says with more feeling.
He doesn’t get to hear anymore details about JLD’s fight with this ghost when he catches a flicker in the corner of his eye. Duke turns and stares at the empty space in the Batcave near the medbay and watches as colorful magic gathers and swirls in dizzing circles. The portal opens a moment later and Zatanna steps out, looking exhausted and lightly singed. 
“Batman,” she greets, holding a white gun that looks like it belongs in an early sci-fi movie from the 60s. “The GIW is trying to arrest us. Constantine keeps burning their badges and documents so it shouldn’t be a problem, but they are determined to get this back. I wouldn’t be surprised if they came after you next. They’ve got some way of tracking things, but I didn’t have time to get any details before I had to leave.”
Bruce takes the gun from her hands carefully, looking it over with a sharp gaze. “Why would a ghost want to use a gun?”
“I don’t know. He had a variety of powers, too.”
“What does this do?”
“Shoots ice. He never let it go and nearly burned me alive for taking it before we subdued him.”
“We’ll keep it locked up,” Bruce promises. 
Zatanna sighs. It looks as though a physical weight fell off her shoulders. “Thanks. I’m going to head back to stop Constantine from getting into a fistfight with the GIW agents.”
She opens another portal with a waved hand and a muttered spell. Bruce is already walking away to set the gun down on a work station, so Duke is the one to wave Zatanna goodbye. 
By the time he reaches Bruce’s side, the gun is already dismantled, all pieces neatly set aside. Sticky notes denote which pieces go together and in what order. It looks the same as most guns, save for the aesthetic, but the heart of it is a glowing blue orb, large enough to cover the entirety of Bruce’s palm, and it brings a chill to the air.
Duke stares at it and feels his soulmark burn ice cold.
“Duke?”
It’s in his hands. He doesn’t remember reaching out to take it, but it’s in his hands. He can’t take his eyes off of it, cradling it gently and bringing it closer to his chest. 
It’s the same blue his soulmark once was. Before his soulmate began to fade, before every day became a waiting game to see how long his soulmate will last before they die. 
This has something to do with his soulmate. He’s sure of it. 
He won’t let anyone take it from him. 
“Duke. Give that to me.”
He doesn’t feel like he’s in his body. He’s detached, floating somewhere outside his body, puppeteering his limbs, making them move without feeling the motion. Shadows condense around his feet and Bruce takes a step back, wary. 
“Duke,” he says again, but Duke can’t find any words, can’t draw on his voice, can’t even look away from the bright, bright blue of the orb. It pulses lightly in his hand like a heartbeat. 
Bruce reaches a hand out. 
He’s pulled back by shadows before he can get close, and Duke holds the orb against his chest, right against his heart, and feels the cold seep into him. 
“Duke. I need you to look at me.” This time, Bruce’s voice has Batman’s growl in it, a heavy command that he can’t help but instinctively follow. He looks up and meets Bruce’s eyes, but he can’t focus. All his awareness is in his hands and the heartbeat of the glowing orb.
“I have to protect this,” Duke manages to whisper. “I… I think it’s alive.”
“Okay. Let’s get you to the medbay so you can sit down. We’ll figure this out, Duke.”
Bruce slowly, carefully, sets his hand on Duke’s shoulder. He keeps his attention away from the orb, so Duke allows it and lets Bruce guide him to the medbay and onto one of the medical cots. Bruce leaves him after a minute of quiet fussing, muttering about calling Zatanna.
Whatever. None of that matters when the heartbeat of the orb grows stronger, steadier, and Duke feels it match the beat of his own heart.
Time slips away from him. Distantly, he hears people move around the cave, speaking in low tones. A hand presses against his shoulder, warm, then moves away. 
The orb in his hand moves. 
Duke blinks slowly, then claws his way back to awareness, pushing past the haze that’s fallen over his mind. The orb turns over in his hand, then cracks right down the middle. The glow grows stronger, washing the medbay in blue light and a symbol appears on the orb.
It’s his soulmark. 
Later, he won’t be able to say why he did it. There were no thoughts, no reasonings, no explanations. Duke simply moved on instinct and lifted the orb up to his face and pressed a soft kiss against it. 
One moment, the orb was still.
The next, it had burst in a flash of light that blinded everyone in the Batcave, and then a thin, injured teenager had fallen into Duke’s lap. 
Hands immediately grab him, pulling him away from Duke. The teenager puts up no fight, eyes barely open, but he reaches for Duke weakly. On his wrist is the bright blue snowflake, the color strong and vivid. 
“That’s me soulmate,” Duke whispers as he watches Bruce and Tim set the boy down on another medical cot. 
“What?” Tim says, turning to face Duke, concern clear on his face. 
“That’s my soulmate,” he repeats, louder. Then, panicked, he pulls up his shirt enough to see his own soulmark; the color is still dull, weak, barely there, but it’s more blue that it has been in a while. He doesn’t need to say anything. Tim sees the dullness of his soulmark, looks at the boy, and puts the pieces together on his own.
“I’ll call Doc Thompkins,” he says, already moving to fix everything. Bruce remains where he is, making sure the boy is tucked in and breathing steadily before he returns to Duke. 
“Are you alright?”
Duke swallows roughly, unable to tear his eyes away from the boy. He’s pale and thin, as if he’d been starved, and there’s frost beginning to spread on the bedsheet from his fingers. “He’s my soulmate,” Duke manages to say. “He’s been dying for two years.”
Bruce’s eyes a hard, a determined light in them. “We’ll save him,” he promises. 
If anyone can, it’s Batman. 
If anyone can, it’s them, Batman and the Signal, and their entire network of family and friends. 
Duke’s been waiting for his soulmate to die all this time. Now, he’s going to save him.
2K notes · View notes
emmyrosee · 7 months
Text
You’ve been sneaking into Kenma’s room for years.
It started when you were very young, having left your gameboy at Kenma’s house after a few rounds of Mario. You managed to toss a few rocks at his window, and once he silently unlocked the door and let you in, you quickly scurried back out hours later with a grateful smile.
Then, you started to sneak through his window. Seeing the flashes of lights at god knows what hours was something you knew meant he was awake, and you’d climb out from your sheets and crossed the street to his place. Again, you’d throw rocks at his window, and when he’d tried to go open the door, he hadn’t expected you scale up the large tree just a few feet away.
Tonight was no different; he’s tapping away wildly on his console while you scurry up the tree in your slippers, smooshing your face against the glass when he finally sees you and opens the window.
You’d finally tumbled in, and he gave you a tired sigh, “you’re annoying.”
“And you’re still playing. I wanted to watch you play.”
“You could’ve just texted me. You left marks on my glass.”
“I needed the exercise. What time do you need me out of here?”
“Kuroo drags me by the ankle out of here by 06:30. Be out beforehand.”
You smirk and nudge his shoulder with yours, causing him to send you a glare before sitting back down on the floor. “Sleep on the bed, help yourself to pajamas.”
“You like him, kenma,” you tease. You see him tense up before he shakes his head.
“No,” he says simply. “I don’t. Not like that anyways.”
“Just not used to you having other friends besides me,” you hum. He huffs in annoyance.
“Are you gonna watch, or do I have to kick you out of my room?”
“Fine,” you sigh. “I’ll behave. Only because I hate climbing your tree.”
Kenma doesn’t like Kuroo. Honest! He thinks he’s cute, sure, gets why the girls like him and boys follow him around, he’s fine enough on a scale of emotional and physical attraction.
But Kuroo’s not the one Kenma’s eyes stay focused on. It’s you.
You’re funny, he likes the way you eat foods that you don’t like first, before diving into the favorites after to savor them. You’re cute, and you’re bad at the differences between contexts of words, and you have a little eye twitch that bestows you in a moment of quick thoughtfulness.
You don’t ask him why he’s up so late, you ask him the answers to homework and give him gummy worms as a thank you. You never overstay a welcome, always either leaving before the sun comes up, or staying quiet while you sleep on the bed.
He likes the way your eyes shine when you’re excited, the roll of your eyes when he tells you “no” when you want the answer to be “yes”, the little snickers that slip out at Kuroo’s expense at Kenma’s quick thinking.
“Kenma?”
“Im busy.”
“I want to cuddle.”
The way you want physical touch when you’re tired.
Yeah. As your best friend, he really is bias to that one.
With a groan, he pauses and saves his game under slot 3, shuts down the console before crawling up and into his bed next to you, the cold sheets shooting his nerves until they warm under your shared warmth. You bury your nose in his collar and he takes out his phone for you both to watch tiktok.
“Kenma?”
“Go to sleep.”
“When you marry Kuroo, can I be the ring bearer?”
“If i marry Kuroo, I want you far, far from my ceremony.”
He practically hears you pout, “you’re no fun.”
“I sure am not.”
For someone who has no fun, not one fun bone in his body, he’s amazed at how comfortable you are in his grip and he in yours, fingers fisting his nightshirt until his own eyes grow heavy.
And if Kuroo walked in just a few hours later at 06:30, only to see his best friend cuddling with someone he loves most, he didn’t say anything and closed the door softly behind him.
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Text
prompt: who did this to you? tell me now.
summary: when you end up getting hurt while out, you make it back home, but just barely.
genre: angst, hurt/comfort
characters: alastor, lucifer
warnings: talk of fighting, abuse, broken bones and getting hurt, being stabbed. essentially you’re hurt and they respond to you being hurt. blood and medical care by the characters too.
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alastor
you walked into the hotel, staggering in, barely able to keep yourself up. every breath your feeble body tried to drag in aggravated another part of your body, causing even slight breaths to feel like you were being punched again.
you grimaced as you found stability against the wall next to door, leaning against it, your head hitting the wall. you micro-adjusted yourself trying to find a spot where you could breathe, knowing if you didn’t you would pass out. you couldn't find that spot, and were near tears. you couldn’t breathe, everything hurt, your eye was swollen shut, and you didn’t know what else to do. you had to get to your room but the thought of walking up those stairs and then down the hallway to your room seemed more of a torture session then you just got through.
that’s when you heard the soft pattering of feet and you looked up to see wide eyes.
red eyes bore into yours as the momentary shock of seeing alastor stopped your brain from thinking about the mind numbing pain you were experiencing. you watched him tighten his grip on his cane as he slowly made his way over to you, like you were a wounded animal.
“can you walk?” he asked, sizing up your figure and waving the cane away.
“i’m not… sure. i… got here… okay…. but my rooms… far.” you muttered out, long pauses between words to catch your breath. he nods, a dark shadow passing over his face along with apprehension, before he shakes his head and approaches you holding out his hands.
“may i carry you?” he asks.
“what?” your shock at his question causing you to not fully register what he said.
“will you allow me to carry you up to the rooms. i’ll help you with whatever injuries you have there.” he says slow and careful.
“i don’t know if… you can carry… me.” you murmur. he smiles a bit more now.
“i’m stronger than i look.” he replies back easily. you wave your free hand at him, giving him consent to go ahead. he gently places his arm under your knees and in a swift movement your in his arms, your body searing as your injuries are jostled.
“fuck.” you moan out trying to breath. alastor stays still and waits until you’re breathing somewhat regularly. he then starts taking you up the stairs, heading the opposite direction from your room.
“my room…” you say pointing behind him.
“i know. we’re going to my room. i have more first aid supplies then what charlie put in the rooms.” he replies easily, not breaking a sweat or even seeming out of breath. his door opens and he gently places you down on a chair near the opening to the forest. you try and find your breath again as alastor quietly darts off and comes back with a box of medical supplies.
he’s quiet as he examines you and asks permission to take off your shirt. he quickly assesses the damage to your ribs, your ankle and your face. checking your hands as well and glaring at the wounds on your knuckles. he starts with your ribs first, setting them and then wrapping them, forcing your posture straight. had you not been just trying to stay awake, you would have blushed at how gently his hands trailed your sides, piecing you back together. next he hands you a cold pack for your eye. you hold it up as he wraps your hand in gauze and ointment. you switch hands as he treats the other one.
“i don’t think your ankle is broken.” he says, “but at the least it’s sprained horribly.” he pulls out a stabilizer and gauze. “this will hurt.” you nod.
“do you worse.” you mutter, finally able to take deeper but still shallow breaths. he turns your foot to face up and your eyes widen as you scream.
“it’s okay. you’re okay.” he says, his eyes wide and worried.
“it hurts al. it hurts.” you cry, tears running down your face.
“i know. but let me finish up. it will feel better.” he assured you as he reaches up and wipes your tears away.
“go ahead.” you whisper. he quickly puts the stabilizer against your leg and then wraps it with gauze. tears running down your cheeks as you keep still and silent.
“it’s done.” he says leaning back as you sit in the chair feeling exhausted.
“thank you… alastor.” you voice no louder than a whisper but you know he hears you as he nods. he packs everything up and then moves you to the bed that magically appears in the room.
“i have a room al.” you say, sitting against the pillows.
“i know you do, but you can’t do anything in this condition. so you’ll stay here until i deem it okay for you to leave.” his tone leaving no room for argument and you nod. “now, who did this to you?”
your eyes widen as your head snaps up at him. gone was the man you saw before, replaced with what you knew as the radio demon. the shift happened almost instantaneously. “it was nothing alastor. i just… fucked up.” you say looking off to the side.
“i don’t take well with lying dear.” he says, his hand hovering over your ankle as a warning. you look at him disbelieving and he just tilts his head. almost as if he’s saying ‘try me’. you sigh.
“it was an ex of mine. he worked for vox and i left him before i came here. he was abusive and i had enough. but he found me and he knew i was at the hotel. said i couldn’t get away from him, and that we were meant to be. and when i tried to get away…” you motioned to yourself. you hoped your words came across as truthful and sincere. you internally sighed in relief as alastor nodded, and sent his shadow off. moments later husk appeared and alastor murmured something to him. you saw husk’s eyes widen as he looked at you and then alastor.
“i’ll take care of it.” husk said, his gaze steely as he left.
“relax my dear. you’re safe now and we’ll help you recover.” alastor said, as you moved to lay down, him taking up an arm chair by the bed and procuring a book from thin air. you closed your eyes as guilt consumed you. you had told alastor the truth but not the full truth.
you didn’t tell him that your ex mentioned that him “giving to you what was coming” was from vox and was to be a message to the radio demon. you knew that alastor would withdraw after that and that would hurt you more than any other physical pain anyone could put you through.
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lucifer
you quickly shut the door to the house, leaning against it and taking a breath. you looked down to your abdomen and got a bit woozy seeing the blood spread across your white shirt.
“damn it.” you mutter, feeling a bit foggy from the blood loss. you shake your head trying to clear it. you knew that lucifer was home and you could only hold onto the hope that he didn't hear you come in. you were getting ready to make your way to the bathroom when lucifer popped in front of you.
“honey! you’re home!” he says, looking mostly at the papers in his hand as you straightened up much to the protest of your body, trying to seem like you had not been stabbed maybe 15 minutes ago.
“i- yup!” you responded, your voice tight as you tried to cover your wound with your hand. you moved your jacket over it so that it couldn’t be seen either. lucifer looked up at you as his eye squinted at you. 
“are you all right?” he asks, coming closer to you, his focus on those papers in his hand all but forgotten. 
“i-i’m fine, luce.” you smile, it not reaching your eyes though. you clear your throat, looking off the left, trying to figure out a way to stop him from really observing you. “i know you said you wanted to show me those new plans for the hotel, let’s go check them out!” you say, changing the subject. hoping that worked. you didn’t want to worry him, nor tell him why you were hurt.
“okay…” he says drawing out the word and then motioning for you to follow him. you start walking behind him, every footstep jostling you and causing your wound to bleed even more, when you reached the three stairs to his study. he crossed them easily but you stepped up on the one and gasped, feeling searing pain in your side. your hand coming out to hold the wall so you didn’t fall. your breath rushing in and out of you like you had ran a race, as your head swam, your body loosing more blood. you see the red substance drip from your hand and watch it fall to the floor, blending into the red carpet. you look up and see lucifer standing there, his eyes wide. 
“what the fuck happened?” he cries, going to you and lifting you up, your hand falling from your wound and your jacket falling back, showing the slice through your shirt. he quickly makes a portal and gets you to your shared room. he gently lays you down on the bed, and dashes off to get some gauze. you try to get off the bed not wanting to ruin the sheets. he comes back to you flailing, trying to get up and pushes you back down, looking at you like you had completely lost it.
“the sheets…” you murmur, coughing and wiping your hand away seeing blood. “oh no.” you whisper and his eyes widen. he throws the gauze away and places his hands on your stomach.
“why didn't you tell me immediately?" he cries, shaking his head looking distraught. "i’m going to heal you, just... stay still.” he says closing his eyes. you grab his hand with the strength you had, though you felt all the strength in your body seemingly being siphoned just by laying on the bed. he looks at you, his eyes wide.
“it hurts you.” you say. 
“don’t care.” he says, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. before you can argue again, his hands glow gold and you body starts stitching itself up, cell by cell, inch by inch. you can feel it all. you cry out as lucifer healing you seems to go on forever. the few minutes it takes seems like hours, as your mind swims through a sea of pain and exhaustion. finally the golden glow subsides and lucifer drops to his knees next to you. you grab his hand as he rests his head against you. both of you trying to recover. you can barely keep your eyes open feeling them closing. you drift off to a dreamless sleep, almost like your body forcing you to rest. 
when you wake next you sit up quickly, looking around the dark room trying to find lucifer. your breath coming in short pants as you can't see anything but the darkness in the room.
“luce?” you ask, your voice hoarse and then you look next to you. lucifer was sleeping close by you. you sigh out in relief as you lay back down and brush his hair back from his eyes, kissing his forehead. “you saved me, again.” you murmur, gently resting your hand on his cheek, resting your forehead against his. his eyes open slowly.
“i’ll always be there to do so.” he smiles and sits up. 
“i’m sorry i woke you up.” you said as he turned to you, drawing you to him and situating you to straddle his lap. clutching you close.
“i was so scared.” he whispered, not like he was asleep just a moment ago.
“i’m sorry.” you respond back. your head slotting in between his shoulder and neck. he lets you rest there for a moment and then pulls you back to look at you.
“who did this to you?” he asks, his eyes steely as he cupped your face gently. you shook your head not wanting to say. “darling, who did this?” he asked, the tone of his voice sharper and more impatient.
“i-“ tears start running down your face. “you’re going to be so upset… and i don’t want you to be. i don’t want.. you to pull away from me again. it’ll make you do that and i can’t bare that lucifer. i just-“ you start talking quickly, your breaths coming quick as you hold on to his shoulders, looking into his eyes even as tears pour from yours. lucifer’s eyes widen and his eyes are misty seeing how upset you are. 
“i won’t. i promise you. i won't pull away, regardless of what you tell me. but i need to know who did this to you. tell me. now.” lucifer says, his voice firm. 
“i-they were masked. they looked like sharks?” you phrased the last statement as a question. “they cornered me in an alley and said that i needed to take a message to lucifer. that they knew how to get to you, and they could use me to do that and you needed to give them what they asked for.” you said as you recounted the tale with your eyes closed. you opened them when you felt lucifer’s claws digging into your hips. you saw his eyes had turned red and his horns were fully out. 
“and they stabbed you?” he ground out. you nodded. "that was their message?" you nodded again.
"that if you didn't do what they asked, they would hurt me." you explain, realizing near the end of the explanation that it probably wasn't needed. his eyes darkened as you spoke, and he moved you gently onto your side of the bed. he took a deep breath as he got up. he gently petted your hair and helped you lay down, his horns no longer out, but his eyes bright red.
“where are you going?” you asked, already knowing the answer.
“out. i’ll be back all right. stay here and go to sleep, you need it. i’ll be right back.” he says, a steely resolve in his eyes, and a gentle smile on his face. you nodded as your eyes felt heavy and fell asleep before lucifer even reached the door to leave. he straightened his jacket and walked down the hall. he had important work to take care of as he created a portal and stepped through it.
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garoujo · 8 months
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✩ ˛˚ . FUSHIGURO MEGUMI — it’s beginning to get colder in the mornings, so now your boyfriend is trying to steal your body heat.
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ஜ ˖ ࣪࿐ྂ warnings! aged!up megumi, f!reader, handjob, he’s grumpy :< it’s been so long since i’ve written him! ♡ ˖ ࣪࿐ྂ note! i bring you more writing, i’ve been v prepared this week with having some stuff done .. that break rly did me good <3
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it had become colder in the mornings, you realise as you wake up to your boyfriend megumi wrapped up in you — closer than normal as his chest rests flush against your back. you can feel the cool chill on his fingertips as they squeeze at your skin and you shudder slightly when the comforter falls off your shoulders as you move.
“‘gumi~ you’re freezing.” you whine as you nestle yourself back into him, feeling him grumble with the way your voice wakes him up — unruly dark hair falling over his gaze as he sends you a grumpy, sleepy look.
“it is freezing.” megumi mumbles into the pillows before his eyes close again, trying to hold you still in the hopes you’ll go back to sleep but it’s all in vain when you roll around to look at him a few moments later.
“so, you’re making me colder!” you frown at him as he lays still, eyes closed but you know he’s awake when his brows furrow after a few more seconds and he grumbles once more.
“yeah, cause you’re warm. stop staring at me.” you roll your eyes at that before you nuzzle yourself back into him, letting yourself enjoy the few peaceful seconds of his dwindling body heat before you sigh once more. you’re pretty sure you feel megumi twitch with irritation when he realises you’re not going back to sleep, trying to hug you tighter in the hopes it’ll lull you.
“you’re so grumpy.” you giggle again, knowing fine well that your boyfriend was never really a morning person and he actually looks at you with that one. there’s a pout on his lips and his pretty features are already frowning when he lets his eyes finally flutter open to glare at you— although you think he looks cute when he’s still messy from sleep.
“no, i’m cold.” megumi grits before he sighs, deliberately grabbing the comforter and pettily turning to face the other way, wrapping himself underneath the warm blanket like he doesn’t know you’re gonna hug in behind him.
you give him a few seconds of peace before you push closer once more but you remain silent this time, not only are you bored now— you’re still cold, but you seem to have been struck with an idea that could help both of this things.
you press your chest against the bare skin of your boyfriend’s back before you let your arms loop around his waist, feeling him tremble slightly as your fingers press featherlight touches up his toned abdomen. as grumpy as megumi was, he couldn’t deny how much he loved your touch— already feeling him push back into you with every warm press of your hands.
you stay like this for a few moments, until he’s relaxed and his guard is down— breathing mellowing out slightly, that’s when you act. you make sure it’s swift, the way you push your fingers down the waistband of his sweats, squeezing languidly at the semi-hard bulge of his cock as he almost jolts in your hold.
“h-hey, what’re you doing?” megumi gasps but you think it sounds more surprised than it does angry, he’s definitely awake now— you can tell with the slightest squeeze of your palm along the length of him, feeling him twitch completely hard so quickly until you can wrap your fingers around him completely.
“warming you up. my hands are warm, right?” you tease and you hear your messy haired boyfriend click his tongue before his attitude melts with your next stroke, making him shudder against you as his hand wraps around your wrist— but you can tell he really doesn’t want you to stop.
“so.. yeah but, shit—“ megumi’s hips stutter with the next languid pull of your wrist, biting on the inside of his cheek in the hopes it’ll help to muffle the needy sounds that you’re already pulling from him so easily.
it only takes you a few more moments to find a pace, one that has him arching into you, throbbing in your hold and chasing every languid squeeze of your palm as he rocks into your fist. his lips part to pant while his fingers squeeze desperately at your skin and you can already feel the pre-cum smear along the inside of his sweats. you give him a lidded look from over his shoulder, noticing the flush blooming along your boyfriends pretty features and you think it’s cute the way he avoids your gaze while you pump his cock so desperately.
fushiguro megumi wasn’t a morning person, but he sure was sensitive..
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© 2023 GAROUJO. please do not copy any of my layouts or writing and translate or repost onto any other sites.
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lina-lovebug · 3 months
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Sharkboy and his Shadow
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Percy Jackson x fem! reader
Background: reader is the only child of Nyx, and has grown up with Percy. After being claimed, lots of kids are afraid of her, and reader feels alone. To 'help' Percy see the error of his ways, Luke and Annabeth come up with a plan.
_ _ _
"(Y/N) (L/N), daughter of Nyx, the Personification of Night, and Queen of Tartarus."
Ever since that day, (Y/N) had never felt so alone.
She grew up with Percy, always being by his side, and she felt lucky enough to see him be claimed by Poseidon. She was happy for him, and understood his rage at the same time.
But when she was claimed? There were no kids staring in awe or clapping or congratulations. There were only whispers amongst them, and stares of horror.
Because no one ever thought that Nyx would have a half-blood child.
She's Nyx. She keeps to herself, away from the affairs of Olympus and mortals.
So no one wanted to make friends with the forbidden girl.
Luke was still friendly, but it became obvious that he wasn't interested in being friends like before. Annabeth, however, still stayed by her side. She was the only one to congratulated her, and decided to explain to (Y/N) what this means now.
Not only was being a child of The Big Three forbidden, but being a daughter of Nyx? That meant more danger for everyone, and she'd become the main target for any monster who wanted her dead.
And to top it all off, she thinks Percy is avoiding her.
She hadn't seen him since she'd been claimed. She had seen him briefly during most days, but when she'd look and see him staring, he'd quickly move his gaze to the ground or the sky.
"If I thought that being a half-blood was so lonely, I'd never have come."
Annabeth felt bad for the girl, "it's not a choice, (Y/N). Nyx chose your dad for a reason."
"And yet all she's sent me is a fucking knife!"
(Y/N) yelled as she threw the dagger her mother sent her into the fire. Annabeth gasped, quickly retrieving the dagger with a stick.
The black dagger hadn't been damaged.
Before Annabeth could lecture the girl on damaging gifts from your Godly parent, she saw the tears in her eyes.
(Y/N) was angry. She'd been so angry that she started sobbing, sinking to the floor of her own empty cabin. Annabeth held her.
"I miss my dad," She sobbed, hiccuping, "I'm so alone. . .I miss Percy."
"Seaweed brain," Annabeth cursed.
Annabeth knew why Percy had been avoiding her.
Because he liked her.
Percy confessed this to Annabeth. He said he knew how important being claimed was to her. How she'd be the most sought after half-blood now.
And feared endangering her if he stayed too close.
"Tell you what?" Annabeth pulled away, "tomorrow, we'll have a girls night. I'll take you to Aphrodite cabin, and Silena will do your hair and dress you up."
She sniffled, "I doubt any of those girls want me there."
Oh, Aphrodite girls were secretly cheering (Y/N) on. They knew the consequences of having a powerful female figure in your life, but one that chose to never be present much.
"Silena does, and whatever she wants, the girls will follow."
(Y/N) didn't get much sleep that night, tears coming and going, and she only managed to find sleep when she thought of how Percy used to hold her. When they'd have sleepovers and she'd have a nightmare, Percy would always hold her until they fell asleep.
That's why she thought she was holding herself.
But her eyes deceive her.
With wide eyes, she jumped up but her head banged into the top bunk. The mystery boy awoke, asking if the girl was okay.
"Luke?! When did you-?! How?!"
"You're bleeding, (Y/N)," Luke ignored her sudden panic, helping the daughter of Nyx up. She checked her head and found some blood.
"What the fuck. . ."
Luke quickly dragged her to the infirmary, but not without notice. The few half bloods that were awake gasped, seeing Luke Castellan leaving the Nyx Cabin with (Y/N) in his arms.
And so did Percy.
"Hey, hey! What happened?" Percy called after them, catching up but hearing Percys' sudden urgency made her want to cry. He's been avoiding her for two weeks, but now he's worried?
"Put your hand on my shoulder," Luke whispered to her, and she gave him a look of confusion.
"Just do it, pretty girl," With an awkward blush, she nodded and, as a result, pushed herself closer into his chest.
"She hit her head. She'll be fine, go tell Chiron," Luke dismissed, leaving Percy with more questions than he had answers.
Why was Luke in her cabin? When did he get there? Why were you hurt?
Did he spend the night?
That last thought made the son of poseidon wish he hadn't been avoiding you all this time. It made him angry with himself that he let Luke become interested in you.
"So why were you in my room, Luke?" (Y/N) asked, holding an ice pack on her throbbing head.
"I left early this morning to check on you, and I know that Percy wanted to do that this morning. So, I figured that sharkboy might get a little jealous if he saw me in your bed," He explained with a shrug.
"Jealous?" She questioned with a scoff, "he's been avoiding me like the plague since I've been claimed."
"Did you think that because you've been claimed that he's avoiding you, or that he's avoiding you because he's scared he'll attract more monsters to you?"
"Luke, I don't have time-"
He cut her off, "it's bad enough that Percy got claimed the second day he got here. He's a forbidden child. Now, the girl he's been crushing on since diapers is the number one target of every monster out there."
"He. . .he doesn't like me like that," I said, feeling my face heat up.
Luke quirked his brow, "that's seriously what you got out of that?"
Despite her frustration and anger towards Percy, she could never despise him so much that her feelings would fade. She still cared about him and ultimately feared that her feelings couldn't be reciprocated.
"Look, if he doesn't seem interested or even the slightest bit jealous, I'll let you know," Luke knew Percy well.
In fact, Luke endured countless hours of listening to how Percy adored (Y/N). How Percy first realized that she wasn't just his best friend, or at least that's not what he wanted her to be. He wanted to be the one she sought out each morning - be the one she could lean on. As capable as she was, he still wanted to help her as much as he could.
He'd lift the entire weight of this off her shoulders if she asked.
(Y/N) had the beauty of the stars and Percy could spend the rest of his life happily staring at her.
"Okay," She nodded.
_ _ _
"Wait, I have two different outfits?"
"Of course!" Silena expressed, bringing out the second one, "this one is for our picnic tonight."
It was a gorgeous white dress that sagged off the shoulders, flowy and the top decorated with several types of flowers.
"Oh, okay," (Y/N) nodded, completely unaware that there would be no girls' night.
Just a really good plan to help force these desperate lovebirds together.
"If this doesn't get him staring, then he's blind," Silena concluded before popping on some lip gloss onto the daughter of Nyx. She could admit, she looked very pretty but her stomach became a bundle of nerves when thinking about how Percy may either ignore her and or she'd finally unblind herself to the longing looks of the son of Poseidon.
She walked out of Aphrodite cabin right as lunchtime came, and she received multiple stares as she made her way.
"How's your day been?" Luke came up behind her, swinging his arm around her shoulders.
"Honestly I still think you're crazy," She confessed, "Percy doesn't-"
He pecked her cheek without warning before whispering, "Look ahead".
And she has never seen Percy look so angry.
He clenched his tray with the fury of a God, denting it even as she looked at him. He quickly looked away, retreating back to his cabin.
Oh my God's. . .
"Percy likes me."
"Now, tonight-where are you going?!" Luke shouted as she chased after him.
She flung the door open to see his sea blue eyes filled with tears. "Oh Percy."
"I'm sorry I haven't talked to you," He immediately confessed, walking towards her, "I would never be scared of you. I'm scared of what my presence will bring to us. I'm already a target, and I didn't want to risk your safety. But I let Luke get close enough to. . ." He stared into her eyes, "I've liked you since we were eight, and I'm sorry I let my thoughts get ahead of my feelings."
"It wasn't my idea," She couldn't stand to see her sweet boy cry, "Annabeth wanted to make you jealous, make you regret ignoring me, but I didn't believe that you liked me. I never thought that you saw me as anything more than a friend."
(Y/N) grabbed his hands, "I like you, Percy. Gods, I've liked you since the first time you shared your mom's cookies with me. You're so kind, you're selfish beyond any God, and you're the sweetest. I was scared that my mother being Nyx might have pushed you away."
His hand came up to her face, "not even the Gods above could separate the two of us."
His eyes glanced between her eyes and lips, hesitating.
"Kiss me, Percy Jackson."
And he did.
The kiss was something out of a movie. She could feel the amount of love he had for her, one hand remaining on her cheek while the other held her hand. She leaned into him, and he seemed to chase her lips as she pulled away for air.
"Not everyone can breathe underwater," She reminded him with a smile.
"I think we might lose a friend tonight," Percy said, and (Y/N) frowned.
"What do you mean?"
"Luke put his lips on my girl. I'll provoke single combat," He pulled out riptide, and her eyes widened.
He gave her a quick kiss on her lips, "if you don't see me tonight, I'm drowning him."
"Percy!" He ignored her calls as he ran outside, running straight towards Luke, who laughed before realizing that Percy wasn't stopping and started running too.
"Is that Percy?" Grover asked as she walked outside, hearing the shouts coming from the forest of Luke trying to calm down Percy.
"Yup. Call Chiron, he might water board Luke."
But after Chiron managed to stop Percy, they spent the rest of the night in his cabin exchanging kisses and unexpectedly receiving a gift from her mother.
"What's this?" She questioned as the owl flew off, the small package being addressed to both Percy and her.
"From your mom, it looks like," He opened it up, and a necklace with a Triton pendant fell out. Just as he picked it up, it transformed into a black Triton that was covered in black shadows.
"Holy shit!" Percy breathed out as (Y/N) grabbed the note that fell out.
"Oh Gods," seeing her reaction, he bent down and read the note.
"Oh," He observed the Triton, "well. . .at least we know she cares."
Break my daughters heart and I'll kill you with that very Triton,
From your mother, Nyx.
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