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nightlyshades · 1 year

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stay ready (what a life)

mingyu x fem. character || smut / angst || 2.8k - part 4 of SAIL OUT series, inspired by jhené aikos album. can be read alone.

warnings: description of toxic relationship, sex without condom, pls lmk if i missed anything!

We do not exist in any other instant. Here in this dimension, you and I are meant to be.

“Let’s go for a ride” Mingyu says.

“Now?” she asks, still focused on her phone.

“Yes” he answers and taps her legs thrown over his lap.

“It’s 2AM” she says, and finally looks at him.

“I know” he leans over where she’s laying on the couch and gives her a light peck on the lips, “So, let’s go” and then he gets up. She bites her lips and looks at him still from the couch. It felt weird. Being here. With him.

Their dynamic had changed in the past few weeks. He’d called her after their morning together, which was expected. And then she would return the same call after a night out, which was expected. Then he’d let her come on his tongue, fingers in his hair, which was also expected. But then weekend calls turned into weekday calls, and then she’d stayed the night, and the night after that. And after almost a week, she wasn’t sure what to make out of it. She’d forgotten how nice it was being with him, when the alcohol didn’t poison their bodies and minds.

But she can’t help feeling a bit uneasy- like they were on borrowed time. As if at any moment it would again turn bad, with ugly words thrown between them- a mixture of her stubbornness and his persistence. She hates how she’d let her insecurities continuously take over, hates how mean she could get, hates how she’d let other people's opinion affect her- but even moreso, she hates how he forgave her each time.

Mingyu returns with a jacket on, he gives her his hand- and again, she takes it.

The radio is playing some indie-song, and except from a few trucks, they are the only ones on the road. She looks out the window, counting the street lights as they drive by- she gives up after twenty-five.

“Are you cold?” Mingyu breaks the silence, his hand reaching over. “No” she answers, but he still turns up the heat before slipping his fingers between hers. She could almost scream of how domestic everything was, holding his hand, wearing his hoodie, going on a spontaneous late-night car-ride.

Before she even can register it, her eyes are welling up, a single tear-drop hitting their intertwined hands. Mingyu notices, and immediately looks over at her. “Hey, hey, hey” his tone worried, he pats her head as he takes the first exit. Trying to calm her down while he finds a parking-lot.

“What’s wrong?” he asks and turns to her, right after he parks the car. He takes off his seat belt and leans over so he can wipe her tears. His concern only seems to make it worse, as she sobs harder. “Are you hurt?” he tries, and she manages to shake her head. “Okay” he goes “I’ll just drive us back, okay?” she shakes her head more firmly this time. “Okay, okay. We’ll stay here” Mingyu bites his lips, doesn’t know how to make it better. Not even sure if he’d ever seen her cry before- he hates it. He leans over again and helps her take off her own seat-belt, his hand coming back up to her face. “Baby... Just… I just need you to take a breath, please” he goes.

She tries to calm down and speaks “Ple- please stop.” Her words coming out in hiccups “Sto-op being so nice.”

“What do you mean?” he asks, confused.

She tries to even out her breathing, so she can continue “I’ve been horrible to you.” She sniffs and wipes her nose with her sleeve. “I’ve been so nasty to you. And you still hold my hand, and wipe my tears, and call me baby. I don’t deserve this” she finally looks at him, her eyes red, “You don’t deserve this.”

He looks at her with furrowed brows, trying to make sense of what she just said.

“Okay, okay” he goes when he sees tears brimming her eyes again, “Just try to calm down.” His hand stroking her arm.

“____” he says her name to make her focus. “I think we both can do better at being nicer to each-other” he winces, thinking back on all of the stuff he has said in anger. “And, I know this is hard for you to accept, but” this time it’s his sleeve that wipes her nose “But, you don’t need to do anything in order to be cared for. Just please stop fighting it.”

He continues when she doesn’t respond, “____, I care about you, because I do. I’m not going to ask for anything in return, and it’s not fair for you to ask me to stop.” Her eyes are casted down, her tears free-falling down on her lap- feeling embarrassed, overwhelmed and so apologetic towards him. Folding her arm over her face, she takes a deep breath. She rubs her eyes against the fabric, tries so desperately to stop crying, his hand patiently rubbing her back.

“I’m scared” she says when she looks at him again.

“I know.” he scratches the back of his neck, trying to find the right words. Mingyu had a feeling that this conversation was bound to come up, and if he were to be honest, he’d tried to ignore it just as much as she was. Happy to just continue living in their bubble, with their somewhat normal routine- eating breakfast together, having her there when he came home, her toothbrush adorning his in the bathroom. Getting a glimpse of how it could be, if they were to actually be together. It really did feel different this time, and Mingyu knew he would regret it if he didn’t give it a final try.

“But, I also think that we deserve a fair chance” he finally tells her firmly. He grabs her hand, and stops her from picking at her nails “Without any self-sabotaging, no more games- just you and me.” She bites her lip, wishing she could just agree and let it happen, but the uncertainty still clouding over. He seems to notice her hesitance. He dips his head so he can catch her eyes “It’s okay. We’ll take it one day at a time. I really think this is it, ____.” And she could feel it too- that this was their last chance at making it right. He continues, “Just trust us.”

His eyes are almost begging- he looks so young. Her heart hurts for him a bit, like she is reminded that he too is just as scared as her. This was Mingyu, her Mingyu. She nods slowly “Okay.”

“Okay” he returns with a small smile. He lets his thumb run over her lips, before leaning over the console. She meets him halfway. It’s ungraceful and a bit awkward at first, with her sniffing and lashes still wet- but in some ways, it calms her to feel him close. All was out. There was nothing more to hide between them. He pulls her closer to him, trying to relay his feelings. Their breathing synced, her thoughts seeming to zimmer down. This was familiar, this they knew. She gives a small moan when his tongue swipes against her bottom-lip, she pulls away and says,

“Let’s go home.”

Back at the apartment, it feels like the place that she had grown used to in the last couple of days, has gotten so unfamiliar now that the chance of permanency was looming over it. She has a loose grip on his hand as she follows behind him with small steps. Mingyu grabs the remote from the couch and turns off the TV which had been left when they went out, his hand still holding hers.

In the bedroom, he finally turns around and faces her. He brings her closer, hands cupping her face, fingers rubbing against her dried tears. She’s all of the sudden aware of her looks, and closes her eyes embarrassed. Mingyu leaves tender kisses around her face. “So, so pretty” he goes, and a slight blush colors her.

Wanting to feel him, she goes up on her tippy-toes and kisses him. It’s slow and gentle, almost if any sudden movement would make the moment vanish. Mingyu leans into the kiss, his hand on the curve of her back, his other resting on her neck. He groans when she presses against him. He sneaks his hand up her shirt, and then breaks away.

“Up” Mingyu instructs, before taking the hoodie off her. He backs towards the bed, guiding her with him as he sits down on the edge. She grabs his shirt by the shoulder and pulls it off him. He returns his kisses on her skin, from her collarbone down between her breasts, one of his hands coming up, his thumb teasing her nipple. Her hand has a soft grip on his hair, as she lets him kiss and nip at her skin, can already feel the faint marks forming around her chest as he moves. Unbuttoning her pants, he lets her take them off, leaving her bare. She stands back over him, his hands resting below her ass.

Mingyu places one last sweet kiss to her chest and looks up, waiting for her to make the next move. He sits there patient as her fingers move across his face- traces the mole on his cheek, runs her finger over his eyebrow. The air is quiet, both focused on each-other- not rushing through like they usually did. It feels oddly intimate seeing him like this, feels her heart beating a bit faster. She brings his hand to her chest, lays it flat so he can feel the faint thumping.

“I’m nervous” she admits to him, avoiding his eyes as she focuses on tracing his lips. “Don’t have to be” he responds and grabs her hand, kisses it, can feel the words against her fingertips as he continues to reassure “I’ll take care of you, promise”.

Pushing the back of her thighs, her knees come on either side of him. He has one hand on her hip, steadying her as he swipes her hair from her neck, before placing a kiss there. He continues up her jaw, his hand pushing her more firmly on him. Her breath gets caught when he pushes up slightly, making sure she could feel him through his pants. She leans in closer and tries to kiss him, but he holds his lips just out of reach, both of them breathing heavily against each-other.

“Oh my god” she moans when one roll hits her clit, her grip tightening around his arm “Please, Mingyu” she begs. He places a kiss to the corner of her mouth, before bringing her back with him as he moves and lays down on the bed. Her lips find his, fingers working on his pants, letting him kick them off. She breaks the kiss when her core slides over his cock, her head going to the crook of his neck. “Fuck” Mingyu groans, feeling her wetness, his fingers pressing deeper into her thighs as he glides her back and forth on him. Her breath hitches before moaning into his ear when his tip slides into her, nails sinking into his shoulder.

Mingyu holds her close, his hand brushing down her hair. “It’s okay. Just take it slow” he says, his hand on her hip as she takes more of him. She lifts her head when he’s finally sheathed inside of her, keeping still. He kisses her softly, his hand going down her sides, letting her take her time. Always appreciative when she didn’t rush through it, feeling like she actually needed him in these times.

But when she finally moves her hips, Mingyu can’t help the groan coming from his chest. She leans a bit back, and raises her hips before going back down, and then she sets a steady rhythm. “Fuck, that’s it” he encourages. She moans when he brings his thumb to her clit, mouth latching on her breasts, his tongue flicking her nipple before sucking it.

“Shit Mingyu, you feel so good ” she says breathlessy, before quickening her pace a bit. Keeps moving her hips fast, her thighs hitting his on each bounce. Their foreheads pressed together as she fucks him, and then he takes his hand and gives her a hard slap on her ass. “Fuck, mark me, baby” she says, wanting to feel the sting. He brings back his hand and slaps her until he feels her skin hot under his palm, gripping her flesh and kneading it. The vibration goes straight to her core, and she curses, unable to move because of the pleasure.

Mingyu is quick to take over, raises her hips a bit, and holds her still while he fucks her from below. “Can fucking feel it. Come, baby” he says through gritted teeth, not slowing down. Her face is pressed into his neck, her hand gripping his on her hip, a moan ripping through her when he goes faster. “Fuck, Mingyu! Stop” she almost screams, trying to get off his lap when he doesn’t ease his grip on her. Mingyu is too gone, wants to feel her tight. With his feet planted on the bed, he ruts up into her, keeps her hips steady.

She cries into the pillow as she comes, her hand gripping the sheets. His hips still moving under her, only stopping when her body is limp against his. He then sits up with her, cradling her in his arms, as he shushes into her ear. “I got you, I got you” he says out of breath, this time feeling his own heart beating hard in his chest, his fingers running down her spine. “You did so well, baby” he praises, and tries desperately to ignore the squelching sound when she keeps clenching around him, gives her a chance to calm down.

When he drags her away from his neck, her eyes are teary. He kisses her tears as they run down her cheeks, keeps shushing against her swollen lips, kissing her gently. He can feel her take deeper breaths, steadying her breathing. “There you go, just like that” his hand squeezing her thigh, groans when she gives him a small roll. He moves his hand to her ass, palms the supple flesh. She then kisses him with a bit more intent. Moaning into him when he licks into her mouth, spit exchanging as they kiss messily. “Shit” she curses when he stirs his cock inside of her.

Sitting back a bit, she looks at him. “Remind me to never share you again” she finally speaks, her eyes still a bit glossy, voice a bit rough. He smiles “Yeah?” flicks his tongue on her lips, “Want my cock to yourself?” She gives him a peck “Mmh. Not ‘gonna let you leave the house.” He doesn’t get to respond, before she starts a small wave again, grown too impatient.

“Fuck. Feels too good. Need you” he says, still so unbelievably hard inside of her. “Come here” he says and lays down on his side, his cock pulsing, waiting for its release. He brings one of her legs over his hip, and then he starts to move again. Holding onto her waist as he pushes deep. He fucks her a bit more selfishly now, wants to come so badly. Think she looks so fucking sexy with her breasts pressed together, her lips parted as she lets him take her. She licks her fingers, and brings them to her clit, wants him to feel her tight around him as he comes.

“So fucking deep, Mingyu” she moans, the angle making his cock hit her just right. He keeps fucking into her, almost thinks her skin breaks under his hard grip on her thigh. Planting one of his feet on the bed, he thrusts harder and faster, feels it rushing through his body. “I’m so close” he warns her, his body hot as he moves. She presses into him, his close release only pushing hers. She shudders as she comes, her core clenching around him. “Fuuuck” she draws out “Fuck, baby. Need your fucking cum, please” she moans, aids him with her, keeps her clamped around him. “Shit, ‘gonna come” he groans, before pressing his hips up, keeping her so tight on him as he spills inside of her.

Mingyu keeps thrusting gently, the position not great at keeping his cum inside, both of their releases trickling out of her. He kisses her, trying to ease them both, his hand lazily going up and down her spine. His cock still inside of her, tired, body feeling numb.

With a final kiss, he speaks three words against her lips. Then eyes closing as he falls asleep, leaving her there in the dark with the lingering feeling of his confession in the air.

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