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kaxtwenty · 18 days

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I think the thing I like the most about Mandalorians is how much it sucks to be one.

Like, the older I get the more I understand Satine. A society that revolves around fighting and conquest as much Mandalorian society tends to probably sucks to live in.

Pretty much every major Mando character has this moment where they’re just like, “Why are we like this?” And it feels real in a way that few bits of SW lore ever come close to.

To gloss over it a bit. Nearly every planet they’ve inhabited has been glassed 1-12 times. The foundling system, while cool, has its roots in slavery and forced assimilation (which can still be seen in some cases). Pretty much every major clan or house are the descendants of people who were forced to assimilate to Mandalorian society (not even that far back in Clan Wren’s case). They fought so much that the original Mandalorian race, the Taung, went extinct.

And to top it all off the literal inception of their entire culture was when they saw a planet full of Kaiju and one guy decided they should subjugate and hunt them to extinction. Which is to say nothing of all the civil wars their whole feudalistic house/clan system practically encourages; along with the ever lingering question of how often do Mandos who aren't soldiers get to have full citizenship?

Hell, there was one time a Mandalorian straight up became a Jedi, ruled as Mand’alor only to have his kids steal his saber from the Jedi Temple and use it as a symbol of violence and supremacy.

I’ve always liked to think of Mandalorians as the sort of “wildcard” faction of Star Wars. They can be either the heroes or the villains and vary wildly in how they fulfill those roles, you never quite know what you’re gonna get with them on an individual level. But just about every one of them has had to confront their history and how it affects them now. And their views are often informed their upbringing and different experiences.

There's this constant through line of characters trying to reinvent what it means to be Mandalorian, all of them coming to their own conclusions, usually with the help of a Jedi or two.

Idk, I wouldn't say I'm an expert on Mandalorians or anything (I'm much more of a Jedi guy), but I got a lot of thoughts about them and how their current culture is informed by their history of imperialistic warfare.

"I think... I think I need something more than killing and fighting in my life." - Canderous Ordo

#me rambles #Mandos are so cool but damn does it suck to be one #Can't say I blame Boba for deciding that he doesn't want much to do with these guys #his life is chaotic enough as is #star wars #mandalorians #I'm still wondering how exactly they operate when they ain't using slave labor cause no way in hell is EVERYONE fighting during a war #cause who the hell is making you food?#anyway play KOTOR 1 Canderous Ordo is the definitive Mandalorian #Sabine is the best one tho (at least before Ahsoka but I've had that rant already)#may or may not be projecting somewhat but hey that’s what fiction is for sometimes

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archerofunspeakablelove · 3 months

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Russian Roulette update: Yassen's conversation with John towards the end of Командир (The Commander) genuinely made me tear up a bit. Y'all if I hadn't started shipping them at the start of Eagle Strike the first time I saw them interact this scene would've 100% convinced me because the way Yassen was so hesitant about working for Scopia at the start and had considered his other options, but now that John is tutoring him he desperately wants to prove his loyalty and competency. In the jungle John tells him he could leave if he wanted to, Scorpia had taught him enough about disguise - all this he had considered before himself, yet when John brings it up Yassen immediately shoots it down, becomes agitated. Why? Because he feels like John is questioning his competency. Remember what he said? "I can do this." John wants Yassen to not have to walk down the same path that he did, but ironically he is the reason Yassen even cares so much about succeeding in Scorpia in the first place. His cover worked a bit too well and now Yassen has a very fixed idea of who John is, and he will do anything to prove himself to his version of John.

You get it, right? The way they want completely different things out for each other, completely incompatible things, because they do not understand each other. These types of dynamics really just eat me up from the inside

#chaotic ramblings #alex rider #russian roulette #yassen gregorovich #john rider #man they really need a ship name i need SOMETHING to tag these posts with #the fact that yassen's relationship with john is very much personal to him even though he would never admit it #and it just so happens that to him john is basically an embodiment of scorpia #and he wants to impress john so by proxy he decides the best way to do that is to prove himself to scorpia #do you get it. do you get the dynamic #the tension in that scene was phenomenal i felt like i was reading fanfiction #which i suppose means that every fic author in this fandom does a wonderful job of capturing their relationship #just. the way yassen is so on edge whenever john says something about how he could still leave if he wanted to. before it's too late #the way he is so confused as to why john would bring this up because it doesnt fit with the very fixed idea he has in his mind about #who john is. the way he says “i killed some of them” as if to say see? i am like you. i can be like you. please give me a chance #his admiration for and attachment to john is so incredibly unhealthy which is unsurprising given that he has not had a normal #relationship of any sort since he was 14 and everyone he knew died #he wants so badly to be who he thinks john wants him to be. and that means that he will never be who he wants to be or who john wants him t #be or who he thinks john wants him to be. he is pursuing something that just doesn't exist #god i am so normal about these two

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owls-den · 1 year

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Simon Snow TrollHunters AU Concept

Hi everyone. I have not escaped the Simon Snow fandom. It is dragging me down into the deepest depth of fandom hell. SO, huh, I decided to pair this hyperfixation with ANOTHER ONE OF MINE (not Pokemon... Y E T.) It's TrollHunters!! Because I freaking love this and my best friend held me at gunpoint to watch it with her a year ago :DD The following sketches helped ME drag her into reading the books so THANK YOU TROLLHUNTERS!

Anyways, pictures are worth a thousand words so BEHOLD!

I tried to slightly imitate the TrollHunters artstyle for this but it's a little difficult haha! Anywho, I'll stay vague about this AU as I don't want to spoil either franchises if you're not familiar with them (WATCH TALES OF ARCADIA/READ THE SIMON SNOW TRILOGY THIS IS A THREAT /j)

In this AU, most of the cast is Normal (well at least the main trio in here: Simon, Penelope and Shepard). Watford is a normal boarding school (... or is it?) near London. Just like in the books, Simon lives in care homes and stays at Watford over the school year (as Baz's roomie). The headmaster, The Mage (taking the role of Merlin TH), scouted him out and offered him a once in a lifetime chance of coming to Watford to study though it comes to no one's surprise that this was a decision fueled by ulterior motives (testing Simon's abilities before offering him the Trollhunter amulet). Shepard is not a student at Watford and just sticks to the group after seeing Simon in action accidentally (I like to think Trolls let him into their home without much fuss haha). Probably pops out of a bush or something to hang around the gang when they're at school (he's charming enough to have the professors let him even ENTER the class or something) As for Baz, as you noticed, he is a Changeling (and, just to make you laugh, is replacing Steve Palchuk OF ALL CHARACTERS)! I thought that's what would be the closest to his whole condition as a vampire in the books. Simon's accusations seem wild but HE TURNS OUT TO BE RIGHT (love that for him). Plus it'd mean that he is, once again, on the other side of the war. Well shit. Ebb replaces Blinky :)) I think she's the closest to a healthy mentor figure Simon ever got so that fits!

I just want to say, if I DO write that fanfic, it'll be a SPOILER FEST for both of these. I tried to keep all of this relatively spoiler-free and I hope I did a relatively good job haha!

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allmpa · 1 year

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This exam season im trying to channel the Sirius Black “doesn’t study but somehow excels in all his exams” energy but tbh it’s looking more like I’m gonna have to pull a Peter Pettigrew and start studying like a maniac the week before my exams

#Peter Pettigrew is a chaotic student #he’s just like me fr #pretends like he’s gonna be totally fine then it hits hit at the last minute that he’s not a genius and needs to study #but it’s kinda too late at this point #so like… I could just fail my exams we’ll see #I desperately wish I was Sirius black #that man has never studied in his life and yet somehow gets some of the best grades possible #last semester I managed to keep up with the Remus Lupin mindset aka study study study study study all semester long #but this semester is a bit of a flop era #Peter Pettigrew 🤝 me 🤝 stressing about exams way too late #marauders era #remus lupin #james potter #sirius black #regulus black #marauders #wolfstar #peter pettigrew

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bluebudgie · 1 year

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Alright gw2 peeps, here's one for all of you with a lot of alts:

All your characters of the same class (e.g. all your rangers) are stuck together in an escape room.

Which of your "class groups" is off the worst and who gets the job done with no problem?

#edit: yall did this way more detailed than my word salad so lemme redo this class by class as well:#eles: not awful. overall a relatively cooperative group despite very differing personalities.#wouldnt be the fastest in finding the solutions but definitely are getting out of there without casualties or other damages #necros: shit tier dynamics. hostile charr that wants to be left alone vs. volatile chak madman vs. way too gentle sylvari plant #communication would NOT go well but they would make it out (neljje contributes NOTHING to this)#mesmers: nightmare courtier who is out to be as destructive on purpose as possible vs. just some guy vs. tvekks (enough said)#tvekks will suffer but they'll probably make it out. maybe. im unsure.#rangers: actually competent. if we ignore the hostile inquest rat in the room we're left with a competent charr leader and a #very cooperative norn huntsman (and bobbie but he contributes absolutely nothing). they will get out just fine.#engineers: disaster. there might be dead. too many egos in one room and a poor norn who just wants to get out beween everyone fighting #she might jus solve this on her own while the other three are about to slice each other's throats #thieves: absolute hell tier. mordrem sylvari trying to eat everything he can possble dig his teeth into.#a mildly confused human who probably just tries her best while the asura in the room is suffering psychic damage caused by #the mordrem and the charr that will simply not shut up for one second #i do not see ANYONE managing to get a solution in these conditions even if individually they might just be able to.#revs: awkward atmosphere between happy upbeat asura kid and really grumpy charr but they're getting through it #warriors: also a weird clash of personalities but they'd pull their asscheeks together and get out of there #and finally the guardians: no destructive force in here. just two very mature people and a slightly chaotic but otherwise clever bard #absolute dream team coming up with solutions. peace and happiness.#budgie plays gw2

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kiwibirdlafayette · 1 year

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does anyone else think a lot about ruxomar!dianite being like a father figure to Tom post-canon who is trying to understand what it means to be a dianite beyond just the powers and the title and who otherwise hasnt had much guidance in the way of non-fighting life related things (bc that’s all s1 dianite really instilled in him when he revived him) or just me

#i had like. a oneshot idea in my head last night and i just started thinking about them #like Rux!Dianite just seems like such a chill dude in the same way ianite’s like that aunty who you turn to when you’re fucked up #s2 dianite seems like that uncle/father who’s got geniunely the best life advice #like hes super intimidating lookin and could beat up anyone who wronged him #sit down with him n he’ll drop the realest fuckin fucking shit yknow #but like. compared to s1 dianite he’s like. yknow someone who u can just talk to #which is what i think cTom fuckin needs lol #anyway. brainrot for the day #mianite #mianite s2 #lord dianite #dianite #i could also have horribly misinterpreted his character but in all fairness the most we see of him is bejn a chaotic ass fruity ghost so

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boxwinebaddie · 4 months

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i gotta know.. how tall is bebe from ur universes because she GIVES tall, she's giving 5'6, 5'8 MAYBE burt her personality also screams 5'2. SO HOW TALL IS QUEEN?

you know something...That's A Very Interesting Question, Anon.

( its different in both fanfictions, i'm coming to find -- which is a shock to no one!!! nina makes her fanfics different but the same -- but boils down to the same conclusion: i love you, barbara stevens. )

because OKAY! so in peppermint, i Did canonically make bebe like 5'11", which i wrote in because her gigantic personality is easily 6'3"/i was playing into her limited edition south park barbie small town supermodel thing, but tbh...i did it moooostly becauseeeeee...

....i wanted to make her taller than stan just to Torment him w/ it. ;*

WHICH SKHDLSKHD!!! okay! take a shot [ of water ] every time uncle nina says One Of My Favorite Parts of Peppermint because I Knooow chapter nine SPECIFICALLY was meant to be very Emotionally Impactful because of how tenderly and earnestly stan talked about kyle, the crinkle in his nose when he concentrates to counting every freckle on his face, stendy being platonic soulmates and stan's mind finally accepting his love for KP but his body violently rejecting it??

like stan slowly succumbing to lovesickness was Gutwrenching n all

(literally)

BUT STAN & BEBE BEING SWORN ENEMIES?? PLEEEEAAASEE!!!

that was the Best part of writing nine: HANDS DOOOWN!!! like i was fucking losing my mIND. it was hard to type bc i was laughing so hard. smh its the way that stan is so nice to like every person ever...

BUT DRAWS THE LINE @ BEBE!!! STAN WOULD /FIGHT/ BEBE.

i actually had all of the stan and bebe dialogue drafted four chapters before nine was even fully sculpted out from sheer Anticipation of their catty ass interactions!!! idk abt yall but i genuinely think they're so funny and Underrated as a duo bc they r literally just...Eachother?

AKA dramatic blonde crybaby bisexual demons (bebe is bi & tall in pep, ig, more on that later) and are Fiercely overprotective over their bestfriends...in a way they both did not know was homoerotic...Smh?

anyways: i swear to god, making bebe tall in peppermint was just to make myself laugh and make stan's life more miserable like wHEN SHE INSULTED HIM AND HE FULL ON GOT ON HIS TIPTOES JUST TO GET IN HER FACE I WAS KHDSSLKDHD SMHHHH x7327392

like: bebe stevens in her full beat full glam like 6ft tall and stan like hunched over, caked in v*m, looking like literal death, using his very last vestiges of strength to try and spite bebe & passive aggressively call her Barbara? Iconic! xx like when i say stan's walk of shame to wendy's house in peppermint shambled so that ravenstan could hot boy walk to whole foods for a 4am hangover green juice in the sharchanclas on TMZ i meant that. ( sidebar besitos 4 rs: ilysm bb )

so bebe in peppermint, ofc, must b canonically tall in order to tower over pep stan/make him extra miserable during Stan Season, but regardless of plot? she totally does just Give Tall vibes...and thats how i justified that hc. like her hair is so big n full of secrets! she IS giving Bombshell, Goddess n Skyscraper...buuut even tho in RM, i DID call her 'a leggy blonde' in and probably referenced her being Tall often...

I TAKE IT BACK, TBH!!!!

because i actually...feel like in RM...

barbara angelica stevens is SHORT?

*COLLECTIVE SHOCKED WHAAAT!!! AND GAAAAAAAASP*

but i digress!!! bc!!!!

...now, i did not intend this when writing rm ( i did not think it would end up being this complex or thought out tbh i'm insane ) but its largely my weird lesson on how Looks Can Be Very Deceiving..for example: how frightening and put together jerseykyle appears to hide how broken/lost/fragile/loving he is inside? or even just ravenstan being like a hot boy celeprettyshittyboy sex symbol on stage and actualy just being boyfailure idiot eco emo boy stan off stage?

i feel like bebe's like that in the sense that she Gives steponme thick thighs save lives, mommydommy42069 vibes and oozes POWER and pure seduction...but does that all while being literally like 5 ft tall.

like ok i see you!! my pint sized polly pick those pockets QUEEN!!!!

wow jfc nonnie...tySM for this message!! ur a Genius, my friend! bc like actually, no, it makes so much MORE sense for bebe to have all that Personality in that little body ( which, kyle is bone thuggin enough for everyone in RM, bebe stevens is a plus size princess and has definitely obliterated a watermelon w/ her thighs for money. )

also because i totally think that jerseykyle sees her acting a mess at parties and just like Carries Her Out under his arm like yeah no thats enough for tonight barbie ok lets go princess *exaggerated eye roll*

( which...does it make perfect sense that jerseykyle would use pet names? no? but u know what!!! i Do think he would flip u off n call you sweetheart sarcastically!!! and whats more!!! i bet it sounds crazy stupid levels of B.A.D. in the jersey accent so anyways! its canon and its making me Blush! rm bebe stevens having been in love with one man and it being jersey kyle broflovski both at age 11 and age 21 is so REAL!!! he does not do bfs but he does do girlfriends sometimes just for marj and bebe...especially when weird guys are out at bars okay!! )

kyle broflovski is not a boys boy but he is a Boys...Girl. LHDLKSHD.

ANYWAYS!!!!!

long story short ( lmaoooooooooo )

peppermint bebe: taller than you and cooler than you, has a legit modelling contract as a senior in high school -- so does tolkien btw, runs her big mouth, runs shit but never EVER in PE, sphs hbic and had to stand on the step BELOW stan to kiss him during the spring musical (YES STAN THREW UP!!!! FOR REAL ACTUALLY!!!! HELP!!! )

rm!bebe: a beautiful gorgeous five nothing nothing wo(menace) who scams rich dudes out of their bitcon online, claims she wears bigger heels than ur dick & is like a lil purse dog pomeranian personified tbh

hope this helps!

uncle nina, who posted the least helpful ask reply ever

p.s. re: bebe stevens -- i have an ask about her where i talk about her more in detail so i'm trying not to go into too much detail, but she means a lot to me and i'm glad ur thinking of her!!! tbh it's funny? other than STYLE tbh, i get the most compliments about my bebes!!! which is so CUTE AAAA!!! i feel her in my soul so i'm glad u like her!

p.s.s. I WAS THINKING ABT HOW I I MADE BEBE A RAVENSTAN STAN IN RM ORIGINALLY HOW MUCH DO YOU WANT TO BE THE SECOND SHE KNOWS STAN IS RAVEN SHES LIKE WOW EW NEVERMIND COMPHET WAS CRAZY HER AND STAN IN EVERY NCU WANT TO KILL EACHOTHER ITS UNSERIOUS SHLKDKDHSD

#i said so much and nothing #bebe has to stay tall in pep to torture stan #but bebe can be short in rm and still That Bitch #i know this was abt bebe but like honorable OR DISHONORABLE BC FOR A LAWYER THAT MAN IS PERMANENTLY FINED #like whew scary skyscraper jersey in the power suits at parties protecting the girlies picking bebe up and throwing her over his shoulder #while shes screaming at some girl across the bar like Smh #their bestie dynamic is so iconic and its funnier putting her next to him when hes tall asf and shes short but both scary hot #they do show up at the bar and take twins home #iconic #a ryan and sharpay level of iconery #but either way regardless of height bebe stevens is just Tall like idgaf if shes short shes TALLER THAN ANY NCU CHAR #like bebe and stan mirror eachother in terms of their romantic rivalries and their best friends/relationships and stuff #but i do think that kenny and bebe #are like...glamazon and trailer park copies of each other #like kenny and bebe in my fanfics are just the chaotic friend #and thats so real they are my favorite characters to write #also pep wendy is short and rm wendy is tall....#js js js #WAIT I WAS THINKING ABT HOW STAN AND BEBE WERE ALMOST FRIENDS AND THEN HAD THAT MISUNDERSTANDING IN PEP 11 #LIFE IS SO BAD I HATE IT HERE Y DID I WRITE THAT

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air-mechanical · 7 months

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Thinking about Dr. Gorst's introduction and how messed up it is. The first thing he does is smile and wave to Bix, a little, 'Hey there, nice to meet you, don't worry about me barging into your conversation and trying to make things all about me. I'm not like that. I'm not weird! I know my place. I'm comfortable with my place. I actually like my place. I really, really like it. I know that we're going to be spending time together soon enough, so I'll just wait here as unobtrusively as possible. I'll be called when I'm needed. Which I know I will be. I wasn't brought out here for nothing. I have things to show my colleagues that will make them happy. I like making people happy.'

The first words we hear him say are 'thank you.'

The second thing we hear him say are words of reassurance to his patient.

He's polite, calm, and professional. The joy he feels in developing a torture device made out of massacred children's screams gives him a warm glow that can be felt on your skin.

#andor #star wars #watching episode 9 again and it's great in so many ways #dr. gorst #such a great character so much more horrifying because he’s smart and takes such pride in his work #the unhinged smile and chuckle when he thinks back to the earlier experiments when patients weren't restrained and things got chaotic #those were the days #but it wasn't in the best interests of his patients. so to help them they need to be strapped down #I'll finish writing the oneshot I have about him one day #his messed up cheery dialogue with rotton sick undertones is actually fun to come up with

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hanakihan · 8 months

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while jinwoo had game mechanic, imagine jinchul having writer mechanic

jinchul died and received an enlightenment on that their entire world is pretty much someone’s story and that it has a set progression path

depression and crisis aside, jinchul, since he now knows (aka fell beyond book boundaries upon his death which shouldn’t happen at all but happened because he’s one of the important background characters and his death pretty much ruined story structure on significant level and that by itself was a huge anomaly) he’s been gifted (more like cursed) with an empty pages book

‘The Author’ assigned him to overseer story progression and correct it so it will reach its end and won’t fall apart with least possible damage without giving Jinchul full picture of entire plot. Jinchul wondering why he should even bother since all of them are a mere fictional characters in a fictional world for others’ entertainment and the answer was ‘it’s because you care about them even if they’re fictional’. There was a really vague promise of their existence continuing as they will go after story ends, that’s pretty much the single tread keeping Jinchul going.

Empty pages gradually fill up with plot events, only hours before they actually happen in their world. When story suddenly ends, Jinchul knows there’s been a serious disturbance and he needs to figure it out and fix it before everything falls apart. Jinchul can tear off pages to rewind time to certain event but he can’t do it forever since book has limited page count and Jinchul has no idea how long the story will run for and what will happen if it runs out of empty pages for story to be written on.

It’s a pressuring decision making process and resource management, he’s pretty much having almost a single attempt try to reach correct ending with least possible amount of mistakes. Even worse that even small anomaly can in future result in insane damage so it’s really a question of ‘do I sacrifice some pages for small disturbance while story keeps going or do I leave it as it and see what happens’

#solo leveling #woo jin chul #he’s trying his best okay #people living their lives and then there’s a man making sure they can do so #jichul can’t write a story but he can navigate it #Jinwoo probably feels something is wrong because of his protagonist status #and then he incorrectly assumes jinchul is responsible for this all #misunderstanding fight happening while it definitively SHOULDN’T #jinchul chaotically trying to think of a way to fix it without them dying #please jinchul got assigned as an editor HDDNDJSNS

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akkivee · 9 months

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hitoya likes people who are bad at thinking and i assume that’s because it’s easier to steamroll over them to get his desired result and i wish we got to see that side of him more often lol

#vee queued to fill the void #this was a wild question he got asked btw lmao #the bat rep skit where he swindles kuukou and jyushi into his favour is peak grey hitoya lol we should get more #it doesn’t have to be as overt as rei’s general conman schtick or hitoya himself willing to fabricate evidence to get his way lol #just more situations where you see he’s a bit of an asshole too LOL #it would have also been fun to see more of his money grubbing personality too lol #like it’s connected to his high class taste and desire to have the best where the pay off is that he wants to share that with his team #but man he bragged he enjoys looking at his bank account for fun lol pls give us more of that #i like it when bat are visibly chaotic good lol!!!!!!#kuukou making a steam bath for temple patrons but then sabotaging it to show them if they can suffocating steam they can handle anything!!!!#hitoya lowkey shading this girl by saying this is common sense but come to my law firm and i’ll make sure you win!!!!!#and while i’m at it i wish jyushi was Slightly more narcissistic lol!!!!!#he likes looking in mirrors so that makes him narcissistic????? he lacks confidence he’s literally hyping himself up?????#i don’t need terra charisma house levels of narcissism lmao just let jyushi flex sometimes lol #some guy: wow that was amazing jyushi!!!!! jyushi: i know✨#at least that!!!!!!!! confident jyushi in all aspects arc WHEN 😭😭😭😭😭😭

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bludsfinest · 1 year

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i know dick has canonically gone to school (and famously got kicked out) but he has the energy of a person that was home schooled all their life

#>#hes just incredibly shameless in the best chaotic way possible #and u wanna say hes a little awkward but hes just so unaware of certain social cues that hes unphased by any disdainful looks towards him #dc #dc comics #dick grayson #batman #robin #nightwing #if anything he was definitely homeschooled while he was in the circus

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jemmo · 2 years

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bad buddy + my co-star roasting me pt 13

for #badbuddyweek day 4: architecture squad or engineering squad

#aka a wai special #bc i do love the architecture squad #but wai is just such a complex and messy and incredible character that i cant not love him #hes the best and the worst #hes trying his best and yet fucking everything up #he is chaotic and pissy and cant keep his mouth shut #and hes so pitiful and laughable and i wanna pick on him and punch him and hug him #what a man #bad buddy #badbuddyweek

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cherry-velvet-skies · 1 year

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It's so lovely to get jumpscared when I open Instagram /lh

#Ringo bby what is this #He sure loves those filters doesn't he #He's so chaotic in the best way tho ❤#ringo starr #richard starkey

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starlooove · 9 months

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Whoever said their voice claim for tim is the diet Dr kelp guy bc it’s whiny and annoying we’re making out rn ily

#yeah #daily reminder that I like tim you guys I just hate the way y’all interact with and woobify him #the best part of his character is that he’s kind of entitled extremely annoying and prone to delusions 🤞🏾#in a BAD say bc yall like to..girlbossify doesn’t rlly fit but its the closest I can think of #when y’all mentione his bad traits it’s like #‘yeah He’s so chaotic and such a gremlin 😼’#like no he’s an asshole and it’s not cool that’s the point #and It’s ok to love the bad but y’all don’t actually see it as bad which wouldn’t be annoying if tim wasn’t already put on such a pedestal #anywaaayyys #that nigga is annoying that’s really it

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chuluoyi · 4 months

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the secret wife

- nanami kento x reader

follow the first years’ misadventures as they find out that apparently, the infamous 7:3 sorcerer is also a dutiful and loving husband in private!

genre/warnings: crack, fluff, the first years are simply chaotic, an attempt at humor, gojo cameo (he’s so insufferable), mentions of pregnancy, nanami being the best husband there is

note: based on an anon's suggestion, this is a spin-off to love entries' wife (so gojo is married to love entries reader naturally!) this is full chaos and crack omg so sorry and isn't proofread bc i’m kinda tired so pls forgive any mistakes and my dry humor :')

series masterlist | oneshot masterlist

On one fine, sunny day, which was supposed to be a calm and relaxing afternoon...

“Hello? Yuji—”

Megumi could've sworn, they weren't usually this nosy.

“Gojo-sensei! It's urgent!”

Call it indulgence, because Nobara's curiosity just got the better of her.

“Oh? What's—”

“Does Nanamin have a wife!?”

And Yuji... well, he just needed answers, because the three of them were now in the ‘Mom and Baby’ section of department store, having just witnessed a monumental sight of their esteemed mentor, Nanami Kento—

—with a remarkably stunning woman hanging onto his arm.

“Huh?” Gojo's confusion was evident from the other line. Oh, yeah. Yuji had decided to cut to the chase and call him too, hoping for a swift clarification.

Okay, so why were the trio—plus Gojo on the speakerphone—hiding behind a pillar just to spy on Nanami and his very possible wife? Let us rewind 30 minutes before...

Yuji considers himself to have an exceptional eye and taste for women.

And 30 minutes ago, when he fell on his butt on the rough, hard asphalt in the jammed Shibuya crossing after accidentally getting shoved by the crowd, and encountered a kind, vivacious older woman—you, who extended a hand to help him up, he was even more convinced of that.

“Are you alright, Itadori-kun?” your soft voice entered his ears, catching him off-guard, and Yuji was certain of two things then.

One, that you were just like a literal angel descended from skies above, all dolled up and pretty with your flowy sundress.

“Ah, uh—” he stammered, eyes darting everywhere and anywhere at once as his palm started sweating after clasping your hand. “I-I am…”

And two, for the life of him, he had no idea who you were.

But it registered late in his mind to ask as he was busy controlling his ragged breathing and instant crush, and before Yuji knew it, you graced him with another kind smile and went on your way.

And did he feel so miserable afterwards.

. . .

“She’s sooo hella pretty, Fushiguro! And she knows me! Me!”

Megumi sighed, eyeing his friend in disgust. Truthfully, all he wanted was to return to the dorms and collapse onto his bed, and not listen to his friend’s incoherent ramblings.

"You sure you weren't imagining things?" Nobara questioned with slight irritation. "After you embarrassed us in front of Gojo-sensei's wife a while back, please think more before you act."

"I'm not, I swear! She said my name!"

"Itadori, can you please just not?" Megumi grumbled, having enough of this ruckus. "I want to walk back in peace."

And so tucking away his pout, Yuji walked in silence just as his best friend asked, and he was really going to leave it at that when suddenly he caught the sight of a familiar pristine coat and the sundress from earlier. “Oh?”

"Isn't that Nanami-san?" Nobara also spotted him, her eyes widening when she saw you, who was happily beaming as well as Nanami's light chuckle. "And wait, who is—?"

"That's her!" Yuji burst out, pointing decisively in your direction. "That's who I was talking about!"

Oh, no. Megumi dreaded it already. He could already see the utter catastrophe—

"I'm going after them!"

"Wait, Itadori! Me too!"

Too late. Before he could stop them, Nobara and Yuji had followed the pair. Reluctantly, Megumi trailed behind them too, albeit wearing a vexed scowl. Yet despite his misgivings, he couldn't deny that the things he saw over the next 30 minutes were genuinely unexpected.

Nanami consistently led you to a quieter spot away from the bustling crowd, his hand holding yours firmly. He would occasionally throw you a smile, or when you didn’t hold hands, then he’d wrap an arm around your waist. And to the trio's bewilderment, they also saw him tenderly brushing his lips against your head while on the escalator.

Soft and gentle. It was a side of Nanami Kento they had never witnessed—either with anyone else or even himself.

The two of you ventured through home appliances, visited food stalls, and eventually... the ‘Mom and Baby’ section.

"Do you want to rest for a bit?" Nanami's voice held a touch of concern as his hand settled on the small of your back, and seeing that, Nobara positively swooned.

"Oh, no, I'm fine," you responded with a reassuring smile. "Let's head over there. I'd like to see that next!"

Watching you and Nanami meticulously going through strollers and cribs like a pair of would-be parents was apparently too mind-blowing for Yuji and Nobara, leading to the decision to call Gojo right then and there. And, as they say, the rest was history.

"Last I heard, Nanami wasn't married," Gojo answered resolutely. "If he is, then it's the ultimate betrayal because he never told me!"

"But we see him with a woman! At mother and baby care section!"

Gojo hummed in thoughtful manner. "Okay, students. Now I'm tasking you to see this to the very end! Keep me on the line!"

With that, Operation: Uncover Nanami's Wife was officially underway, and frankly, the way the three of them were clumsily tailing the 7:3 sorcerer made Megumi want to facepalm. How was it that Nanami hadn't noticed their rather conspicuous attempts at all?

Now you were fawning over baby clothes, cutely trying not to squeal as you picked a little blue and yellow overalls. "Kento! Kento! Look, how cute!"

And all of them were floored once again when the expression on his face softened, as a warm smile adorned his lips. "Yeah, they are."

"Is she pregnant? She doesn't look it..." Nobara remarked, squinting and frowning, still watching the two of you like a hawk.

"Or maybe they're shopping for someone else?" Megumi suggested, earning teasing grins from Yuji and Nobara, to which he quickly rolled his eyes, as they chorused, "Looks like you're curious too!"

After a while, you moved from the clothes to sections stocked with mother's necessities. Yuji leaned against one of the racks, pressing his ear against it, with Nobara and Megumi crowding behind him, attempting to catch a snippet of your conversation with Nanami.

"I think we should get some heat packs and these pillows—"

"Oh, Kento! You're such a worrywart, I still won't need them for a few more months—"

"Wait, what?" Yuji whipped his head around in surprise, causing Nobara, who was leaning on him, to stumble and inadvertently collide with the racks.

"Eh? Huh!?"

Unfortunately, the racks weren't sturdy enough, and the force caused them to sway dangerously. Nobara, sensing her imminent fall, instinctively grabbed Yuji's arm to steady herself. However, he got tugged instead and their combined weight exacerbated the situation, leading to the racks quickly toppling over and a deafening commotion ensued—

Crash!

"Careful!" Nanami immediately pulled you behind him, a protective arm around your shoulder, sensing your shock from the sudden crash. He was on high alert, expecting some sort of attack of cursed spirits, but instead, he was met with the most astounding sight of the bickering culprits amidst the fallen racks.

"Kugisaki! What are you doing!"

"You dumbass! Why didn't you stop me from falling?!"

"Itadori-kun...?" Nanami called out in utter disbelief, his mind couldn't fathom as to why the first years were here. However, his attention quickly shifted to Megumi, who was seething and sending his friends a glare so hard it could drill a hole into them.

Then, the boy swiftly fixed himself into a low bow in front of him, ashamed, disregarding Yuji and Nobara's groans altogether. "Nanami-san, I'm very, very sorry on their behalf."

"What are the three of you doing here?" he inquired, and poor Megumi seemed at a loss, huffing as he nervously rubbed the back of his neck, unsure of where to even start.

Meanwhile you were full of worry for the fallen kids. "Oh my gosh, are you alright?"

For the second time today, you tried to help Yuji to stand on his feet, and this time, he really had a good look over you.

It wasn't exactly noticeable due to how loose your dress was, but now he could see that under it, your belly was slightly rounded—an unmistakable baby bump.

Amidst his shock and pain, Yuji couldn't bring himself to take your hand as he inadvertently let this slip, "N-Nanamin! You knocked her up!"

Nanami blinked. You gaped. Megumi and Nobara went pale in sheer horror, ready to murder their friend on the spot for his extreme height of rudeness.

“Itadori-kun,” Nanami cleared his throat then, and if he was offended, then he chose not to show it. “First of all, I’m sorry for not introducing you sooner. This is Y/N, my wife, and yes,” his tone hardened slightly, “She’s carrying our first child.”

“S-so you are married!”

“Yes, that was what I—”

“What the hell?! NANAMIIII!”

Oh, the freaking phone. After his fall, Yuji’s phone ended up on the floor, and of course, Gojo did hear all of the entire madness, evident from how his voice blared from the phone.

Nanami frowned, unwittingly reaching out towards the phone. “Who—?”

“NA-NA-MI!" Gojo screeched in righteous exasperation, and the former immediately pulled away from the phone with a cringe. “How could you?! I invited you to my wedding! Are you a hermit or something—how could not tell anyone!? Didn’t you say I can officiate—”

“I said no such thing. Please refrain from saying outrageous things, it’s both annoying and misleading,” Nanami stressed, growing more irritated by the mere sound of Gojo's whining voice and feeling his patience waning rapidly.

"Aren't we friends?! How—!"

"Should I find you instigate one more of this... shenanigans with the kids, I won't hesitate to report you to Yaga and your wife," he interjected then with clear irritation, and right that second, Gojo shut himself up.

Yuji, Nobara and Megumi couldn't help drawing that one conclusion in wonder: So, that's what Gojo-sensei is afraid of.

Nanami swiftly ended the call with a flick of his finger, returning the phone to the still mystified Yuji. Turning back to the trio, Nanami's irritation simmered as he glanced at the mess of broken goods on the floor, as well as noticing the approaching clerks.

"You three..." Nanami started, his voice rising slightly, unfaltering even as the three of them flinched. "Do you realize what you've done? Are you so idle that you can ditch your assignments?"

"Kento, don't be too harsh," you rebuked, placing a hand on his arm with a frown on your face. Nanami sighed, looking over the situation once again. It was a whole rack of baby necessities destroyed; plates, glasses, and whatnot scattered across the floor.

Nobara bit her lip in anxiety. “Oh my god, who's going to pay for all this damage?” She could already imagine the staggering amount this mess would cost. This is worth millions, anyone can go bankrupt.

There was only one person who can and will. Immediately, both Nanami and Megumi turned to her with a shared resolve.

"Gojo," Megumi blurted.

"He will be charged for everything," Nanami added with spite.

Epilogue

"You just love those kids, don't you, Kento?"

That night, when both of you were ready for sleep, Nanami had one hand caressing your still growing belly, and you teased him with a chuckle.

"Huh?" your husband looked at you in mild confusion as he stopped stroking you. "What do you mean?"

You giggled again. "You said to put it on Gojo's name, but in the end, you were the one who covered the damages first."

Nanami huffed lightly. "That's because I can't get the kids in trouble. But mark my words, I'll make sure Gojo pays up later, by force if I need to." He made a face when he remembered just what a massive bill it was. "That's too much money to be spent carelessly. We have our child and our future to consider."

"You're always like that," you sighed fondly, taking his hand and placing it back to the swell of your belly. "Always on the first line of defense for the students." Your smile widened. "It makes me think... just how lucky our kid will be with you as their father."

"On the contrary, I'm counting my blessings that they'll have someone as soft as you for their mother," your husband retorted with a smile, kissing your temple. And your heart melted into a puddle by his affectionate gesture.

"That's too sweet... ah, yeah," suddenly, you were reminded of a critical thing. “Kento, have you ever considered telling everyone else that we're married? At least to people at school?”

Nanami always wanted privacy for safety reasons most of the time, and you understood that, but seeing that Gojo and the first years knew already, you thought it might be the best time to let everyone know.

"I honestly don’t see the need to, why?"

"People like Gojo are confused—"

Your husband rolled his eyes then. "Don’t worry, dear. People like Gojo exist to spread the word so we don't have to."

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tender-rosiey · 10 months

Text

pretty babies – gojo satoru x f!reader

a/n: idk about yall but I love me some drunk gojo

satoru never drinks, but when he does, ohoho, you’re in for quite the ride.

today was one of the days when he was less of a chaotic handful but more of an emotional mess who apparently can’t even remember his own wife. you sip on your drink, ignoring the drunk satoru leaning on the bar.

he slurs his words as he tries to flirt, “you’re sooo pretty, y’know that?”

you nod with a hum and give him no further reaction. in situations like these, you figured out that letting him go all out until he is tired and sleepy is the best solution. it really is like treating a baby.

thankfully, after many years of being in the presence of one gojo satoru, you’ve built up some patience.

he rests his head on the counter and he looks up at you, eyes wide and in awe, “I bet,” he hiccups and it is followed by a silly little giggle, “we’d make superrrr cute babies! like all round and chubby and we’d much on their cheeks like…mochi! yes! mochi…now I am hungry.”

a smirk makes an appearance on your face as you glance at satoru who is blabbering about building a family with you and spoiling you rotten.

a little teasing won’t harm anyone. so you quip, “you know,” and his attention is already on you, “you already gave me three super cute babies.”

his mouth is wide open in disbelief as he sits up, “no way!”

“yup! and they’re waiting at home for us.”

his eyes crinkle because of his wide grin, “really?!” he pulls you into a bone-crushing hug, “you got photos?! please tell me that you do!” and he switches to a pout so quickly, it gives you whiplash.

however, you gladly pull out your phone and show him the multitude of photos you have.

ones ranging from him being in a crib to help the youngest one sleep to ones with two of the three kids ganging up on him and him desperately calling for your help. satoru goes through every single photo, head on your shoulder and cheek squished.

he is silent throughout it all and when he is done, he looks up at you, “so that means that you’re my wife?”

you nod and your fingers, naturally, find their place on his head. he feels a little shiver of satisfaction before he smiles, one lovesick and silly smile, “I really hit the jackpot.”

you laugh, pressing a kiss to the top of his head, “I guess you did.”

so you take him back home where the kids are already asleep. satoru crashes on the bed right away, steady breaths filling the room. slowly, you take your place beside him and you feel his arms wrap around you.

he pulls you closer and buries his face in your hair. and you close your eyes, letting yourself be lulled to the land of dreams.

when you do wake up, you’re greeted by satoru literally on top of you and deep in sleep. you would like to let him sleep more especially since he looks so comfortable, but you’re going to suffocate at this rate. so you pat his back lightly, “satoru, honey, wake up.”

he groans and buries his face in the crook of your neck, grumbling something along the lines of ‘five more minutes’.

not budging? then fine, you decide. you take as deep of a breath as you can then call for your kids, “who will help mama?!”

it’s quiet and you can feel satoru smirking against your skin. it looks like he won, but then a bunch of footsteps are heard and it’s your turn to smirk.

your husband lifts his head to glare at you—of course, not without sporting one of his famous pouts.

the door is then slammed open and your eldest son is there, “WHO DARES HURT OUR MAMA?!”

he gasps, very dramatically like a certain someone, and points at his dad, “PAPA?! you’re suffocating mama!”

“again?!” your daughter pops up from behind her brother, staring at her dad in disbelief.

they both stand beside your bed glaring at him and he glares back, the three of them forgetting why you called for your kids in the first place. so you do them a favor and remind them, “satoru…I AM GOING TO DIE LIKE THIS!”

satoru is pulled back by his shirt and your kids take turns in—trying—to beat him up. you get up, greedily breathing air till you’re satisfied. you ignore the screams of your husband until you’re done with your morning routine.

luckily enough, when you got out of the bathroom, you found no one except your husband.

laying on the ground.

presumably dead.

with a bunch of drawings on his face and his hair contained with multiple hair bands.

you snap a picture of him very quickly then you sit on the ground next to his corpse. you poke his butt and he groans, making you giggle, “what happened to the strongest sorcerer?”

he turns towards you with a small frown, “his pretty wife didn’t kiss him good morning so he had no energy to fight,” his head snaps towards the two tiny figures giggling behind the door, “these monsters.”

they squeal and run away once again before he catches them.

you gently take the hair bands off, “you’re lucky that our youngest devil is still asleep,” you then smooth down his hair and pat his head, “I love the smiley faces on your cheeks.”

he whines and rests his head on your shoulder, “stop bullying me!”

you hum and stroke his hair, “you know, you did something pretty cute yesterday.”

“I am always cute; what’re you talking about?”

“you flirted with me, your wife, and said we would make ‘super cute!’ babies,” you reveal and satoru seems unbothered. in fact, he seems proud and very happy with himself so you continue, “so I had to remind you of our three little devils and then I showed you pictures.”

he stands up, posing all confidently, “what can I say? I excel at everything even being cute—“

“then you cried like a little baby when I showed you my picture post labor and kept apologizing.”

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