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atlafan · 4 years

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Girlfriend - One Shot

a/n: I have no fucking self control! I was going to save this for Friday, but it’s fluffy and cute, so here we are. If you haven’t seen Charlie Puth’s mv for Girlfriend, I strongly suggest you watch it. It’s so cute, and so is the song, which inspired this quick little piece. Enjoy!

Words: 2K

Warnings: FLUFF!

“Do you want to come over for dinner Friday night?”

It was a simple question that he had asked, and yet he was the one ready to shit his pants. Harry had been seeing Y/N sort of casually for about two months. They had met through mutual friends. It was cute, actually, he was having a pool party and one of his friends brought her.

“Harry, this is my friend, Y/N.” Greg had told him.

“It’s nice to meet you, thanks for having me.” She smiled. She was so cute, and polite. She excused herself to go change into her swim suit, and put her drinks inside.

“Where have you been hiding her?” Harry asked Greg.

“We work together! She’s super funny, thought I’d bring her along. That’s cool right?”

“Yeah, of course.” Harry peered over to watch her walk inside. “Might have to get to know her myself.”

“Good idea, sort of another reason why I brought her. I thought you two would get along well.”

And they did, maybe a little too well because she stayed at Harry’s house pretty late. She was one of the last people there, Harry gave her a tour of the house, they somehow ended up in his bedroom, and one thing led to another. She didn’t spend the night, which was just fine with him, but he did give her his number in case she ever wanted to come over again.

They started doing more things as a group: going to bars, dancing, movies, and game nights. Most nights ended the same, going back to one of their places and shagging.

“You know…I wouldn’t hate it if you spent the night.” She had said to him one night just as he was pulling his boxers on.

“Oh?”

“I really like fucking in the morning.” She said without missing a beat. Harry smiled big at her.

“Can’t say no to that now can I?”

He settled in next to her, spooned her all night long, and when they woke up she delivered. They had sex in her bed, and then had sex in her shower. They made breakfast together, and then he headed out. Harry was having so much fun with her he completely forgot he was sort of seeing a couple of other girls too. Unanswered texts and calls displayed on his phone…maybe he didn’t want to see them anymore. Maybe he only wanted to see Y/N. Did she feel the same way? Did she have a couple of other guys too? That’s what led him to ask her to a dinner at his house. Sure, she had been over for dinner before, but usually it was a long forgotten pizza as he fucked her on the couch.

“I’d love to come over! Can I bring anything?”

“Just yourself, babe.”

He took a deep breath after they hung up. He wanted to make her a fabulous meal, show her how serious he was about wanting things to move forward. Harry hadn’t had a proper girlfriend in quite some time, but he felt ready to take this next step with Y/N. He only wanted to be with her, he was sure of it.

He picked up a ton of ingredients to make a roasted chicken, and a ton of other sides. He was going to make mashed potatoes, and green beans, and…well…he didn’t let the potatoes boil long enough, so they were lumpy when he mashed them. He added sour cream and butter, but it looked disgusting. His chicken also was still frozen when he put it into the oven, so the skin burned.

“She’s gonna think I’m a fucking moron!” Harry was usually a pretty decent cook, but he was so nervous he couldn’t get any of the recipes right. “Fucking, Christ, get it together Styles.” He runs a hand through his hair and opens his drawer that he kept his takeout menus in. “Hi, yeah, I’d like to place an order for delivery…”

While Harry waits for his food to show up, he swiftly cleans the kitchen. He looked cute. He had a patterned short-sleeve button up on with a pair of shorts and loafers. His door rings, and he grabs his food. He takes everything out of their containers and plates it up to make it look like he made it. He essentially ordered what he wanted to make anyways. He gets everything onto the table and lights a couple of candles. He was happy with his work. His nerves were shot, but he was excited. Although, there was that little bit of fear in the back of his head that she’d just want to keep things casual.

When his door rings, he sprints over to it, and smiles when he sees her there. She looked adorable, as always. She was wearing a pair of jean-capris, and a peasant style shirt so her shoulders were exposed.

“Hi.” He says.

“Hi.” She smiles and holds up a bag. “I know you said I just needed to bring myself, but I brought dessert. I hate going anywhere empty handed.”

“You’re sweet, thanks.” He kisses her cheek, takes the bag, and lets her in.

“Wow, Harry.” She says as she looks at the table. “Fancy.”

“Expecting pizza?” He winks, and kisses her. “Please, sit.” He pulls a chair out for her and she sits down. He sets the dessert down in the kitchen, and then comes back out to sit with her. “You look really nice.”

“It’s just my usual.” She looks down at herself and then at him. She takes the glass of wine he already poured and has a sip. “Mm, my favorite, thanks.”

“Of course.” He takes a sip as well, maybe it would help him calm down.

“This looks really good, Harry. How’d you have the time after work?”

“Got some of it done this morning, it was no big deal.” He scoffs.

She takes her knife and fork, and cuts into her chicken. He watches as she licks her lips after and then dabs her mouth with her napkin.

“It’s delicious! Tastes like the chicken from that place we went to a couple of weeks ago with everyone.”

“Huh, you don’t say?” He takes a bite of mashed potatoes. “I’m glad we could get together tonight.”

“Me too.” She smiles and reaches to give his hand a squeeze. He stops her from taking her hands back to her fork. She furrows her brows at their hands and then looks at him. “Kinda need that to eat, Har.” She chuckles.

“I know, I just, uh, I wanted to say I like spending time with you.”

“I like spending time with you too, Harry.” She smiles. “May I have my hand back now? I don’t want this to get cold.”

“Right, sorry.”

“It’s okay.” She smirks. “You can hold my hand all you want after we eat.”

He smiles and continues eating. They both talk about their days and what they did at work. He loved watching her lips move as she spoke. He loved her toothy smile, and they she’d sometimes bite her bottom lip to suppress a laugh or two.

“I’d clean my plate, but I don’t wanna get too full. I promise it was really good, though.”

“No worries, gotta save room for dessert right? What did you bring?”

“I just snagged some cupcakes from the grocery store.” She shrugs. “Those ones with the lemon frosting you like so much.”

“Y/N?”

“Yes?”

“Would you…uh…would you…” He was sweating, and so incredibly nervous. He just needed to spit it out. She was looking at him, waiting. “I really like you, and I haven’t been talking to anyone else, and you’re really the only person I want to talk to. I hope you’re not seeing anyone else, but I get it if you are since this has been pretty casual.” He rubs the back of his neck. Her eyebrows were raised, waiting for him to say more. “I guess what I’m trying to say is…I wanna keep seeing you, I wanna see where this goes, and, well, would you want to be my girlfriend?”

Her mouth falls open. She smiles and bites her bottom lip, but still she doesn’t say anything.

“Oh god, you don’t want to do that yet? Is it too soon? I’m-“

“Harry.” She puts her hand on his shoulder. “You’re a wreck.” She giggles. “Calm down, babe. I’d love to be your girlfriend.”

“Really?” He says with relief.

“Yes…I was sort of expecting this conversation with the way you asked me over. Usually you’re not so formal over the phone.” She takes a sip of her wine. “I’m not seeing anyone else, either. I don’t know what kind of girl you think I am, but I’m usually a one guy kind of person, even when it’s just casual.” She licks her lips. “Besides.” She stands up and sits on one of his thighs, wrapping her arms around his neck. “I don’t quite think another guy could satisfy me the way you do.” He wraps his arms around her waist, and hides his face in her chest. She strokes a hand through his hair.

“Can we have the cupcakes now?” He mumbles.

“I’d like that.” She kisses the top of his head and gets off of him. She helps clear the table while he gets them out of the container. They each pop a small cupcake in their mouths. “Mm, I didn’t like lemon much until you showed me these, but I like it a lot now.”

“It’s tasty and refreshing.”

She bursts out laughing and he loves the way it sounds. Her arms move back around his neck as she continues to laugh.

“So, what stereotypical girlfriend things should I do first?” She asks, playfully.

“You could tell me you secretly hate all my decorations and take me shopping. That’s a pretty good one.”

“Or I could ask you to clean out one of your drawers for me way too soon and make you panic thinking I want to move in already.”

Harry presses his forehead to hers as he laughs.

“Let’s compromise on the most important one.”

“Which is what?”

“Leaving tampons in my bathroom.”

“Oh, Harry, I already started doing that.”

“You did?! How’d I miss ‘em?”

“I just put them in the cabinet under your sink…”

“Oh…I, like, never look in there.”

“Exactly.” She taps her temple. “Always thinking.”

His hands grip on her hips as he smiles.

“Alright, alright, what about other toiletries? Leave all your shit all over my bathroom, I don’t care. And then I’ll do the same to your place.”

“Sounds good to me.”

She pulls him close to kiss him, and he swings her around in his arms, hoisting her up to sit on top of the counter.

“As long as the sex doesn’t stop being so hot, I don’t really care how we do things.” He says against her lips.

“Oh, so that’s why you wanna lock me down, for the hot sex?”

“You caught me.”

His tongue swipes along her bottom lip and she opens up for him, letting him lick into her mouth. She tugs at his shirt as his hands slide up her thighs. She wraps her legs around his waist to get him closer, but it still wasn’t close enough.

“Harry.” She nips at his bottom lip. “Take me upstairs.”

“So demanding.” He smirks as his hands grip her ass to lift her.

“And yet, you have no problem listening.”

“That’s what good boyfriends do, right?”

“Mhm.” She kisses him as he brings her up the stairs to his bedroom.

“What do I get for being so good?” He kisses on her neck as he sets her down, her pulling him onto the bed with her.

“Anything you want.” She whispers in his ear. “I feel so bad that you were nervous earlier.” She pouts at him.

“You make me really nervous.” He kisses on her neck. “Butterflies in my stomach and everything.”

“Aww, well, no reason to be nervous now.” She cups his cheeks so he’ll look at her. “I’m all yours.”

#harry styles #harry styles one shot #harry styles imagine #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfic #harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n #harry styles y/n #harry styles fluff #harry styles fluff fic #pls tag if you reblog #feedback is always appreciated

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madsthewordclown · 3 years

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Fire Lily | Pt. 13

warnings: some angst?

summary: y/n is surprised to run into a person from her past.

a/n: AGH I’m so so sorry this chapter took so much time and isn’t very long :/ I really struggled with motivation and inspiration this past week with my classes picking up again. But! I am back! This chapter takes place during “Sokka’s Master.” Hope you guys enjoy!

reminder: my taglist is OPEN! send me a message or ask to be added :)

Fire Lily Masterlist

Y/N had barely managed to fall asleep when she felt someone jostle her shoulder.

“Y/N, get up,” Katara said gently. Y/N groaned, rolling over uncomfortable on the lumpy ground.

“Y/N,” Katara repeated. “You need to see this.”

Y/N yawned, slowly coming to sit up, blinking slowly. She absentmindedly lit a fire in her palm to illuminate the space.

“No, we don’t need fire. Come on.”

Y/N reluctantly stood, letting the fire in her hands flicker out. Katara led Y/N out of the tree-covered area they had camped into a clearing on a hill, where Sokka, Aang, and Toph were waiting.

“What exactly am I looking at?” Y/N mumbled. What time was it? Two in the morning?

“Just look up,” Katara giggled. Y/N obeyed and raised her head to see the bright streaks painting the sky.

“Oh,” Y/N breathed, watching the spots of light soar across her vision. Y/N felt the tension leave her shoulders as she watched the sky. “It’s beautiful.”

“Yeah,” Aang agreed, reaching his arms out to invite them all to throw their arms around each other. Y/N moved closer and felt Katara’s arm settle across her shoulders, but she never took her eyes away from the sky.

Y/N had never seen a meteor shower before. It was better than she had imagined—the stars were so bright here, not like Ba Sing Se. The night sky went on forever, meteors leaving trails of brightness across the comforting deep blanket of darkness the sky provided.

Tiny stars blinked down at her, and Y/N felt the warmth growing in her stomach. It made her think of the tea shop, if only for a moment.

Something about staring up at the sky made her feel small, but it wasn’t an unwelcome feeling. There were so many small people in the world, and even though she was traveling with the Avatar, even though she was on the run, and even though her life had been upended, she could be one of those small people, if only for a moment.

“Um, guys,” Sokka pointed up at the sky. “That one looks a bit close.”

“Oh, really? Which one?” Toph panned sarcastically. Y/N suddenly remembered that Toph couldn’t see the meteor shower. The girl was sitting on the ground with her arms crossed a few feet away. “You’ve seen nothing once, you’ve seen it a million times.”

“You’ve never not seen anything like this,” Sokka said. The ground seemed to shake for a moment, and Y/N watched as the meteor dipped out of view behind some trees. The ground seemed to shake, a loud crash echoing.

“Oh,” Toph started, standing. “You’re right, Sokka.”

Y/N followed the others through the trees, seeing the meteor, a ball of flame that was already beginning to catch the surrounding grass.

“The fire is going to destroy that town!” Katara shouted. Y/N could see the rooftops in the distance. Katara was right, and before Y/N could come up with any sort of response, they were rushing into action.

Katara was already heading to a nearby creek, bending the water towards the flames while Aang and Toph lifted large chunks of earth from the ground.

“What can I do?” Sokka asked. Y/N could tell how much he wanted to be helpful.

“Umm…” Aang replied, continuing to create a trench, “watch Momo?”

Sokka turned to Y/N. “Aren’t you going to help?”

“I barely know how to make fire, Sokka,” Y/N replied, sighing as they watched their friends go to work. “I haven’t figured out how to stop it. Plus,” Y/N smiled, “this is space fire.”

“Pretty sure it’s just regular fire,” Sokka grumbled, but Y/N saw the corners of his mouth upturn slightly. It was better than nothing.

---

Sokka was a shopaholic, Y/N decided. He’d been in a sour mood since the night before, when he was left to babysit Momo. But Katara had offered to let him look around in a weaponry store, and suddenly he was acting like a giddy little kid.

Y/N wandered around on her own in the shop. She could hear Sokka’s giggles from across the store. She looked around at the distinctly Fire Nation items—swords with red accents in the hilt, armor pieces made of dark, gleaming metal. It was much different from the craftsmanship of Jet’s swords. These were made with aesthetic in mind, with the time to add the red embellishments and tassels and inscriptions.

Jet’s swords were finely made, but they weren’t things to marvel at. They were made to work, work well, and nothing more. The blades were getting dull—she’d have to figure out how to sharpen them later. Y/N ran a finger along the inscription of a dagger on the wall—Honor and country—and started when someone coughed behind her.

Y/N whipped around, hands poised on the swords at her waist. Behind her stood a boy, with dark hair and a little bit of stubble on his jaw. He looked oddly familiar, and then the realization hit.

“Jain!” Y/N cried. She didn’t move her hands from her swords. He was dressed in a dark red tunic and black pants, his hair in a bun on top of his head.

“So, it is you.” Jain gave Y/N a once-over, his dark eyes taking in the blades and the Fire Nation clothes. “I wondered where you went off to.”

“What are you doing here, Jain?” Y/N couldn’t decide whether or not to be angry. She wasn’t sure if Jain was an enemy or not.

“Just visiting my homeland,” Jain drawled, as if it was obvious. Y/N supposed it was. Jain glanced around, assuring no one was near.

“Look,” he sighed, “I can’t here, but if you want to talk, I can meet you later.”

“What?” Y/N gaped. She still couldn’t process the fact that Jain was here. In front of her. Right now. More handsome than she remembered, though she’d never admit it. He wasn’t a string bean anymore.

“I can catch you up on what’s happening back home,” Jain offered. “I can take a message back for you, if you want.”

“Okay.” Y/N didn’t hesitate to answer. Jain would know about her parents. Maybe Bihun was back. Y/N hadn’t heard anything about her colony since she had left.

“I can meet you in the marketplace this afternoon,” Jain said, already turning away. Y/N diverted her eyes back to the dagger in front of her. Honor and country.

“Alright,” Y/N agreed, listening to Jain’s footsteps fade.

---

“You what?!” Katara cried. “Y/N, we can’t trust Fire Nation.”

“Why are you just telling us now?” Aang added in agreement.

“I knew Sokka wouldn’t like it,” Y/N admitted. She had been relieved when she learned that Sokka would be away to train under a master, and not just because she was happy for him. He wouldn’t have let her go meet with Jain. Or worse; he’d insist on coming along.

“Well, we don’t like it either,” Toph piped in. “Why do you need to go talk to this guy anyway?”

“He was a friend of my brother’s,” Y/N explained. She could remember Jain from Bihun’s first years at school. He was one of the few friends that Y/N’s parents allowed to visit the house. “He lives in the colony. He can tell me what’s happening at my home.”

“I don’t know…” Katara trailed off, her eyes sharp.

“He can tell me about my parents, Katara,” Y/N pleaded. “I… I don’t know what happened to them after I left.”

Katara thought for a moment, but Aang spoke for her.

“Okay,” he said. “If it’s important to you, it’s important to us. But if you aren’t back by sundown, we’ll come to look for you.”

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” Y/N surged forward, pulling Aang into a hug. “I’ll be careful, I promise.”

“I still don’t like it,” Katara said, and Toph nodded, “but we’re here for you. Be safe.”

“I will,” Y/N promised. She didn’t think Jain would hurt her, but the words kept ringing through her head. Honor and country. Would they outweigh his care for her? She thought of Zuko.

Y/N tried to remember that she had no reason to hide while she walked through the marketplace, keeping an eye out for Jain. He was taller than she remembered, and definitely looked older. She wondered if that was how old Bihun would look, if he were here.

She spotted Jain by a food stand and did her best to approach casually. Jain turned around and faced her, two bags of fire flakes in his hands.

“Why are you walking like that?” Jain gave her an odd look, an eyebrow raised. Y/N immediately straightened her posture, her cheeks warming. So much for being casual.

“Come on,” Jain beckoned after a moment, leading Y/N around a street corner. He handed her one of the bags of fire flakes, using his now free hand to fumble with the doorknob on the nearest home.

Y/N’s eyes widened. “I hope you’re not breaking in.”

“No, I—” Jain jimmied the handle some more, and it finally turned, the door opening. “There we go.”

Y/N followed Jain inside, her nerves building. It was a nice enough place. Small. Flammable, if it came down to that. Y/N hoped it wouldn’t.

“Whose house is this?” Y/N asked, looking around at the many potted plants that filled the room.

“My aunt’s,” Jain replied, stuffing a handful of fire flakes in his mouth. He noticed Y/N looking at the greenery. “I know, she has a ton of plants. She’s a little crazy.”

“I think they’re nice,” Y/N frowned, gently touching the leaf of a small, white-flowering plant by the window. She still hadn’t taken a bite from her fire flakes. “Why did you buy me these?”

“Hospitality,” Jain answered simply, like it wasn’t weird. Y/N was fairly sure it was weird. They were in the Fire Nation, and the Fire Nation would be anything but hospitable if they knew she were here, with the Avatar, no less. “Don’t tell me you’ve never had them.”

“I have,” Y/N scoffed. She took small handful of flakes and popped them into her mouth. Damn, they were spicy. She tried to stifle her reaction, taking a seat across from him at the table. “What are you doing here?”

“Like I said, visiting the homeland.” Jain took a seat at the small wooden table in the center of the room. “My aunt is gone to the capital for a few weeks, so she said I should come here to ‘experience the true national culture.’” Jain made air quotes with his hands. “I think she just wanted a plant sitter.”

Y/N nodded, looking down at her hands that were still wrapped around the back of fire flakes.

“What are you, doing here, Y/N? I thought…”

Y/N wasn’t sure she wanted to know what he had thought. He probably thought she was dead or imprisoned like her brother.

“I went to Ba Sing Se,” Y/N explained. “And I met friends. We’re traveling together.”

It wasn’t a total lie. Really, it wasn’t a lie at all, Y/N rationalized. Just an omission of some details. Jain had a look on his face that said he knew that wasn’t the whole story.

“Do…” Y/N trailed off, unsure of how to continue. “Does everyone know? About me?”

“You nearly burned down your parents’ house and singed the eyebrows off of two soldiers, Y/N.” Jain chomped down another handful of fire flakes.

“Oh.” Yes, she had done that. Of course everyone knew.

“Not much has changed since you left,” Jain reassured. “Well, it did at first. A lot of soldiers came through at first, looking for you. The village is doing well enough.”

“What about my parents?”

Jain’s expression darkened. “The Fire Nation believes that your parents committed a crime by hiding you from them. Your… father is looking for you.” Jain shimmied uncomfortably at the word ‘father,’ and Y/N felt her stomach churn.

“Are they okay?” They had to be okay. That was the whole point of her leaving. If they weren’t okay… it was all for nothing.

“Yeah, for now. There are soldiers stationed at your house, in case you try to return. But your parents are safe. Your father was too close to the Earth King before Ba Sing Se fell, and he’s still got powerful allies in the smaller cities that are left. They won’t touch them until they know where you are. Some people are dead set on finding you, Y/N.”

“And you aren’t going to turn me in?”

“Of course not, Y/N.” Jain’s expression seemed hurt. “Bihun is my best friend, and he’d want me to help you. And you haven’t done anything wrong.”

Y/N wanted to correct him. I’m helping the Avatar to defeat your nation. We’re planning to invade your capital as we speak. She tried to hold back the question at the tip of her tongue. “Have you heard anything about my brother?”

Jain frowned and shook his head. “I’ve actually managed to do some asking around, but I haven’t found anything. I’m sorry, Y/N.”

Y/N stared at the table as her eyes stung.

“I miss him, too.” Jain put his hand out, resting it on the table in front of her. “He’d be happy for you, you know. That you made it out of that house. I know you’ve struggled,” Jain eyed the scars on her hands from her months of traveling and fighting that hadn’t been there before, “but he’d be happy. And I’m not going to stop trying to find him.”

“Neither will I.” A warm tear traveled its way down Y/N’s face. “Will you check in on my parents for me, when you can?”

“Yes, anything,” Jain offered a smile. “I can bring back a message for them?”

Y/N shook her head. “I think it’s best they don’t hear from me until it’s all over.”

Jain nodded understandingly. “Y/N, I want you to know that my allegiance is to my family first. Bihun is like a brother to me, so you’re my family too. If you ever need anything, you can ask.”

“Thank you, Jain.” Y/N glanced out the window, the sun beginning to dip in the sky. “I should go.”

“Alright,” Jain said, standing. Y/N stood with him, leaving her fire flakes on the table. She’d pass on those. Before she could convince herself not to, Y/N pulled Jain in for a hug, letting out a shaky breath when he wrapped his arms around her. “Take care of yourself, Y/N,” Jain whispered softly.

“I will,” Y/N promised again. “You too.”

---

“How did it go?” Katara asked as soon as Y/N came into view of their camp outside of town.

“Good.” She noticed Sokka pouting on the ground. “How was Sokka’s training?”

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me about this!” Sokka cried indignantly. “It’s not safe to be talking to the Fire Nation!”

“She’s obviously fine,” Toph groaned. “And no one followed her here. And we all look like Fire Nation anyway!”

“Hmph,” Sokka grumbled.

“What did he tell you?” Aang asked curiously. Y/N recounted what Jain had told her, about her parents. About her father. When she was done, Katara smiled.

“I’m glad you went to talk to him, Y/N. It’s great that your parents are safe.”

“Yeah,” Aang agreed. “And after we defeat the Fire Lord, you’ll be able to go back home. I promise.”

Fire Lily Masterlist

taglist: @kaylove12, @akariblue, @wolfiemichele, @aquatickanye, @sunflowerr-mami, @nadiblue. @la3divine, @sarsky, @aangsupremacy, @good-ones-are-taken

#atla fanfic #eventual zuko x reader #zuko x reader #zuko x y/n #atla #avatar: tla #avatar fanfic #atla x reader #Katara being the mom friend #sokka is sokka

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pinktintedmonocle · 3 years

Text

The Taste of Christmas - A Cobra Kai Fanfic - NSFW

In which Daniel and Johnny’s plans for Christmas Eve sexy times are derailed due to Daniel’s questionable choice of condoms.

Cracky smutty lawrusso fluff. Merry Christmas everyone!

Daniel was already at the front of the line, unloading his groceries onto the conveyer belt, when the message from Johnny flashed up on his phone.

Need condoms.

Daniel swore under his breath.

“I’m so sorry”, he said to the disgruntled cashier, holding up his hands in what he hoped was a placating gesture and flashing his most winning car salesman smile. “I’ll be back in moment, I just gotta grab something else quick.”

He ran to the sexual wellbeing aisle, picked up the nearest box of condoms and sprinted back to the checkout. The cashier was waiting for him, lips pursed and arms folded, while a few of the other customers started to tut and shake their heads at him.

“Hey, hurry up buddy!”, yelled one guy a few places down from Daniel in the queue. “It’s Christmas Eve, some of us have got places to be!”

“Look, I’m sorry OK?”, Daniel replied, handing the condoms to the cashier.

The guy snorted in derision. “Yeah? How about we take this outside, old man? Then we’ll see who’s sorry.”

Daniel looked him up and down. Mid-twenties, about 170 pounds, poor muscle definition. A single crane kick to the face would probably be enough to take him out.

“Yeah”, said Daniel as he paid and packed up his groceries. “I’m sure we would.”

**********************************************************************************

Daniel’s phone rang as he pulled out of the store parking lot. He pressed the button on the steering wheel to put it through to the car speakers.

“Hey.”

“Hey yourself”, replied Amanda. “Please tell me you’ve got the cranberries, I can’t have a repeat of last year with your mother.”

“Yeah, I got them.”

Amanda let out a sigh of relief. “Thank God. Although I still don’t understand why you have to go out on Christmas Eve to buy fresh cranberries just so your mom can make her own sauce when she gets here. The sauce that the caterers are bringing is just as good if not better than the lumpy stuff she makes.”

Daniel rolled his eyes. “It’s tradition, you know that. And anyway, it keeps her busy.”

“Well, that’s true. But don’t roll your eyes at me.”

“How did you know I was rolling my eyes?”

“I could hear it in your voice.”

“You know that doesn’t make any sense.”

“Whatever”, said Amanda, and Daniel suspected she was rolling her eyes at him. “When will you be back?”

“An hour or two; I’ve just got to stop off at Johnny’s.”

“Oh yeah?” asked Amanda, and Daniel could hear the smirk in her voice. “Fitting in a little karate before Christmas?”

Daniel felt a blush rise up his neck. “Hey, you can talk. Didn’t Carmen come over this morning?”

“Yeah, but we just had sex. We didn’t feel the need to fight in a tournament, pine after each other for thirty years and then open rival dojo’s while secretly banging each other like rabbits.”

Daniel pulled a face. “Touché.”

“Hey!”, said Amanda. “I’m only telling the truth, don’t pull a face like that at me!”

“How did you know I was pulling a face? And since when could you tell what my facial expressions are without actually being able to see my face?”

“Since I’ve been married to you for twenty years. Anyway, have fun and I’ll see you later. Oh, and put the cranberries in Johnny’s refrigerator, don’t just leave them in the trunk. If you get home with them all hot and mushy and your mom starts shouting I will not be held accountable for my actions.”

**********************************************************************************

Daniel had barely knocked on Johnny’s door when it flew open, revealing a tousled haired, plaid shirt wearing Johnny Lawrence on the other side.

Daniel grinned. “Were you waiting for me, Johnny?”, he asked as Johnny backed up so Daniel could enter the apartment.

“In your dreams, LaRusso”, said Johnny as Daniel closed the door. “Thought you were the mailman; I got Miguel to order me some nunchucks from the Internet for class. It’s going to be badass.”

“You know giving actual nunchucks to teenagers is a terrible – “, Daniel began, but Johnny cut him off mid-sentence with a kiss.

As the kiss deepened and they began to stumble towards the bedroom, Daniel went to wrap his arms around Johnny’s neck when he realised his hands were still full. He pulled back reluctantly.

“I just – I just gotta put these in the refrigerator”, he said apologetically, holding out the cranberries.

Johnny wrinkled his nose at the berries and stepped back as if Daniel had been holding something horrifying, like a dead rat or a severed finger.

“You got me fruit, LaRusso?”, he asked, disgust evident in his voice.

Daniel rolled his eyes for the second time that day. “They’re not for you, Johnny. They’re for my mom.”

Johnny stared at Daniel incredulously. “Your mom’s coming here?”

“No, my mom’s not – look, it’s a long story, OK? Go get ready, I’ll be in in a minute.”

Johnny disappeared into the bedroom, still looking confused, while Daniel walked quickly over to the refrigerator. By the time he’d made room for the fruit amongst the bottles of Coors Banquet and discounted meat and hotfooted it to the bedroom, Johnny was already undressed and lying on top of the covers with one hand propping up his head.

Daniel batted his eyelashes at Johnny flirtatiously as he started to quickly shed his own clothes.

“What’s a guy like you doing in a place like this?”, he asked huskily as he unbuttoned his shirt.

Johnny blinked in bewilderment. “It’s my bedroom LaRusso, and I’m in here ‘cause we’re about to bang. Wait, did you just forget that? What, did you trip over one of those tiny trees and hit your head or something?”

“I know where we are, Johnny and no, I didn’t fall over a bonsai”, Daniel said, exasperated, as he pulled off his pants. “I was just trying to be – you know what, never mind. Just come here and kiss me.”

Daniel took off his underwear and joined Johnny on the bed, climbing on top of the blonde. They kissed, passionate and hungry, and Daniel ran his hands through Johnny’s hair.

After a minute Johnny broke the kiss, panting heavily, before moving his lips to Daniel’s ear and nipping the lobe.

“Tell me what you want, LaRusso.”

Daniel’s breath caught in his chest and Johnny moved his lips lower, nuzzling Daniel’s neck as he ran his hands up and down the smaller man’s back.

“I – I want you to blow me”, Daniel moaned. “And then I want you to fuck me.”

Johnny raised his head and grinned wolfishly at Daniel. They kissed again and as they did so Johnny rolled them over so he was on top. He started to kiss his way down Daniel’s body until his reached his cock.

“You get the condoms?” he asked.

“Jacket pocket”, Daniel panted, and Johnny reached over the side of the bed and fished the packet out of the pile of Daniel’s clothing on the floor.

Johnny fumbled with the box for a few seconds before he got it open, then plucked out a condom and ripped his open with his hands before sliding it down over Daniel’s erection. (Daniel was just thankful that Johnny had stopped trying to tear them open with his teeth; he had ruined a lot of condoms that way since they’d starting seeing each other. “It’s an alpha move, it gets the chicks wet”, Johnny had explained to Daniel one night. “It’s a wonder it doesn’t get the chicks pregnant”, Daniel had retorted, looking at a condom studded with teeth marks and tiny holes. “Well, there is Robby”, Johnny had replied.)

Daniel gasped in pleasure as the wet heat of Johnny’s mouth enveloped his cock, although it only lasted a few seconds before Johnny pulled back, face screwed up.

“What?”, asked Daniel as he bucked his hips, desperate to get that feeling back. “Why did you stop?”

Johnny licked his lips. “The condom tastes weird.”

“Weird how?”

Johnny frowned. “Like… toothpaste.”

“Toothpaste?”, asked Daniel, eyebrows raised.

“Yeah, like peppermint. You get flavoured ones?”

“I don’t think so”, said Daniel, thinking back to the store. “Although I didn’t actually check the packet…”

Johnny grabbed the box again and looked at the back.

“’Holiday flavours”, he read. “A selection of latex condoms with the flavours of your favourite Thanksgivings and Christmas treats.’” He looked down at Daniel still sheathed penis. “I think this one is ‘Candy cane’. Jesus LaRusso, really? What were you thinking?”

“I didn’t know they were flavoured!”, Daniel protested. “I was already at the checkout when I got your message so I just ran back and picked up the nearest box! Look, there must be some flavours in there that are OK.”

There wasn’t.

Johnny refused to try ‘Green Bean Casserole’ (“I don’t like green stuff!” “How have you reached middle age without dying of scurvy?” asked Daniel), ‘Eggnog’ (“I don’t want to get drunk off your dick.” “I don’t think there’s any actual alcohol in these condoms, Johnny. And anyway, aren’t you already drunk?”) and ‘Gingerbread’ (“I hate those little men with their tiny eyes, they’re always looking at me.” Daniel had no response to that). Eventually, Johnny agreed to try ‘Turkey’, and Daniel had his cock sucked for a blissful ten seconds before Johnny’s stomach rumbled and he pulled back.

“No, can’t do this one either. It’s just making me hungry.”

Daniel groaned. “Fine, forget the blowjob. Just fuck me, OK?”

“What?” Johnny exclaimed, “You think I’m going to put one of those things on my dick, LaRusso? I don’t want my penis to smell like vegetables or roast meat!”

“The flavour is on the outside, Johnny!”, Daniel explained, but Johnny refused to back down.

“And I’m not going bareback”, said Johnny. “I don’t know where you’ve been.”

In truth, Daniel hadn’t been with anyone apart from Johnny for over six months. When he and Amanda had decided to try an open marriage, he had explained the situation to Johnny and suggested they try a casual relationship. This in itself was ridiculous because of all the words that could be used to describe his and Johnny’s relationship over the years, ‘casual’ was not one of them. But although they kept it informal, there wasn’t anyone else Daniel wanted. After Amanda had started seeing Carmen, Daniel and Amanda had come to realise that although they still loved each other the physical attraction was gone from their marriage. They hadn’t talked about separation or divorce yet; they were still happy in their own way, for the moment, but maybe one day they would. Daniel also secretly suspected that Johnny hadn’t been with anyone else either since they’d started hooking up. He’d tried to ask Johnny a couple of times if there was anyone else, but just got vague answers about there being ‘hot babes’ that he hooked up with from time to time. (“So just women? Daniel had asked once. “You don’t see other guys?” “Oh yeah”, Johnny had replied hastily, “There are also loads of hot – er – guy babes.” He had quickly changed the subject after that.)

But even though Daniel did really want to have sex with Johnny in that moment, he wasn’t ready to have that conversation yet; to admit that they could probably go without protection because neither of them had been interested in being with anyone else for a long time.

So instead he just sighed and removed the condom from his softening cock. Johnny stood up and pulled his underwear on, before Daniel followed suit. He rubbed his temples as they walked into the living room and Johnny stretched out on the sofa and turned on the TV.

“I think I’m getting a headache.”

Johnny rolled his eyes. “Quit your bitchin’, LaRusso. Just grab me a Banquet from the refrigerator and I’ll give you a handjob while we watch Iron Eagle.”

Daniel walked across the room to get Johnny’s Coors, and as he did so pulled open a drawer in the kitchen area, searching for Advil. There weren’t any painkillers in the drawer, but just as he was about to close it something shiny caught his eye. He moved aside a case of old batteries and saw underneath a handful of metallic squares. He picked one up and flipped it over. It was still in date.

“Johnny”, he said as calmly as possible. “Did you not know that you have condoms in this drawer?”

Johnny turned to look at Daniel, eyes wide. “Oh shit, do I?”

Daniel leaned on the kitchen counter, gaze fixed on Johnny. When he spoke, his voice was almost a growl.

“Get in the goddamn bedroom right now, Johnny Lawrence.”

**********************************************************************************

Afterwards they lay tangled up in each other, boneless and sated. Daniel’s head was on Johnny’s chest, and he felt so warm and comfortable that soon his eyelids began to droop.

Just as he was about to drift off to sleep, Johnny poked him in the side.

“Hey, LaRusso, don’t you have to get going and give that weird fruit to your mom?”

“Yeah”, Daniel said sleepily, snuggling up closer to Johnny. “I’ll go in a minute.”

“Are your family coming to yours for Christmas?”, Johnny asked.

“Uh, yeah. My mom, cousin Louie and Amanda’s parents come to ours every year.”

“Must be nice to have a family who actually want to spend time with you”, Johnny said, a little sadly, and Daniel realised with a pang of guilt that he had no idea what’s Johnny’s Christmas plans were. He had a sudden vision of Johnny sitting alone in his drab, undecorated apartment, drinking himself into a stupor before passing out on the couch.

“What are you doing, Johnny? Look, if you’re going to be alone I can always see if I can escape for an hour or two and come over. Or, ah, maybe you could come to mine, you know, just for a bit-”

“Relax LaRusso, I’m fine. Carmen and Miguel invited me over. And even if they hadn’t I couldn’t come to yours and you know it; your family hate me.”

“My family doesn’t hate you!”, Daniel protested.

Johnny raised an eyebrow.

“Well, at least Amanda doesn’t hate you.”

“I’m good LaRusso. But, ah, thanks for thinking about me.”

I’m always thinking about you, thought Daniel.

They lapsed into silence and Daniel felt sleep tugging at his eyelids again. Reluctantly he got up, leaving Johnny’s warm embrace, and got dressed. He fetched the cranberries from the kitchen before returning to the bedroom to give Johnny a lingering kiss goodbye.

“I’ll message you next week, let you know when I can come over again”, said Daniel, cupping Johnny’s face with one hand and rubbing his thumb over his cheek.

“Yeah”, said Johnny.

They smiled at each other for a moment before Johnny cleared his throat and looked away.

“I mean, whatever LaRusso. Not like I don’t have tons of hot babes who I can hook up with if you’re too busy.”

“Oh yeah”, said Daniel, trying not to laugh. “Hot babes and hot guy babes. Gotcha.”

They kissed again before Daniel pulled back and walked across the room. Just before he reached the doorway he turned back.

“Johnny?”

“Yeah, LaRusso?”

“Merry Christmas.”

I don’t think all of these exact condoms exist (seriously, what mad person would make green bean casserole flavoured condoms? Who would buy them?), but I saw an article about Christmas flavoured condoms a while back (think they were the Candy cane ones) and just ran with it.

Anyway, hope you enjoyed this! Merry Christmas all you lovely lawrusso shippers!

#cobra kai #cobrakaifanfic #the karate kid #Daniel LaRusso #Johnny Lawrence #lawrusso #lawrusso fanfic

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luci-in-trenchcoats · 5 years

Text

Follow Me Home (Part 6)

Summary: Dean and the reader take a detour with Hawkins to get his side of the story and figure out who to believe once and for all...

Pairing: Cop!Dean x reader

Masterlist

Word Count: 3,200ish

Warnings: language

A/N: Enjoy!…

______

“What?” said Hawkins ten minutes later, pulling out of the highway rest stop.

“Did you really have to steal a car?” said Dean from the passenger seat. “And insist on driving?”

“You just punched Dean in the face, Hawkins,” you said, crossing your arms.

“I’m sure he’s been punched before. He seems the type,” he said, getting onto a side road and heading South.

“I don’t think your dads like me very much,” laughed Dean, rubbing his face.

“Well most guys that knocks them right out so I guess you’re tougher than you look,” said Hawkins.

“Why’d you punch him,” you asked, pulling out your knife.

“Because he takes too long and I don’t have time for the cop to agree to taking a car we’ll be sure to give back. We need to get off the highway, off the road, and lay low for a minute. I haven’t slept in two days and I need to know we’re safe while I find a place to crash,” he said. “Now put that knife away before you hurt yourself, Y/N.”

You stared at him for a few minutes before you slipped it back into your pocket.

“Could-” started Dean, Hawkins turning on the radio and blasting the volume.

“No more talking.”

“I got to say, I preferred Jim’s cabin to this one,” said Dean, sitting down in a hard chair hours later, smiling when you grabbed some ice from the freezer for his face. “Thanks.”

“It’s a friend’s hunting cabin. Bare bones,” said Hawkins, walking around and pulling down some shades, locking the door and turning to where you and Dean sat at the small kitchen table. “I have a feeling you two are going to run off on me when I sleep.”

“Give us a reason to trust you and stay then,” said Dean. Hawkins reached behind himself and pulled out a handgun. He held it out grip first to Dean.

“He won’t think twice about killing her this time. Any of us. You make sure that doesn’t happen, understand?” he said.

“Yeah,” said Dean as he took it.

“Just get her back to her mother if it goes bad,” he said.

“Why?” asked Dean.

“I promised her a very long time ago I’d bring her home,” said Hawkins, heading into a backroom. “Give me a few hours, then I’ll answer whatever questions you have.”

You both waited for him to shut the door, Dean looking back at the gun in his hands.

“What do you think?” you asked. “Do you think his story makes sense?”

“He’s kind of a son of a bitch,” said Dean, looking over at the closed door. “But he feels...different. He’s scared but not like Jim was. If my daughter was kidnapped from me for 26 years, I probably wouldn’t be the most easy going guy either. We barely got his story so we’ll have to see on that front. What’s your gut telling you?”

“Hawkins is my father for sure. He looks too much like me. Jim is definitely the one that raised me from the time I was six though. You saw all the pictures at the cabin. I never knew the difference,” you said.

“Which one do you think tried to kill you?” Dean asked.

“Hawkins has shown he’s not afraid to be violent. And Jim left us both alive when he had us,” you said as you picked up Dean’s makeshift ice pack again. “If we’re looking at facts alone, I think Hawkins is more untrustworthy.”

“Funny. The facts are telling me Hawkins would rather throw himself off a cliff than ever harm you,” said Dean.

“What do you mean?” you asked, Dean leaning into your touch.

“Sure, he hates me. I don’t blame him. It sounds like someone grabbed you at the hospital you were born at. The cops probably let him down over and over again and there’s resentment there. But you, he’s gentler with you. He’s trying to be nicer to me, for you. Y/N, he’s an ex-super solider. You’ve seen him. I’m not a wimp and he could kick both our asses without batting an eye. But he’s trying, for you. If we can confirm a baby was taken from a hospital, belonging to your mom and Hawkins, I think...I think maybe we can be a little inclined to believe him,” said Dean.

“I thought I believed Jim. Now I don’t know who to believe besides you,” you said.

“We’ll figure it out. Why don’t you take a nap, sweetheart, while I keep an eye on him, okay?” said Dean.

You nodded, giving his forehead a kiss as you made your way over to the lumpy couch.

“Hey,” said Dean, shaking on your shoulder. “Hawkins is up.”

“My name is John by the way,” he grumbled, digging through your cooler that’d been brought in. “Were you two planning on surviving off of jerky and gummy bears?”

“We were going to stop for food,” said Dean.

“Benny’ll be pissed,” mumbled Hawkins, going to a door and returning with a frozen slab of meat. “I hope you two like cured venison.”

You made a face, Hawkins smirking at it as he turned back to the stove.

“It’s not that bad, honey. Oh and hey, cop,” he said, waving Dean over.

“It’s Dean,” he said, stepping over carefully.

“Well, Dean, you mind poking through the cupboards? I’m sure there’s some plates around here somewhere,” said Hawkins.

Dean eventually found some silverware while Hawkins dumped some chunks of venison in a pot with some beans on the stove. He said it’d be done in about an hour, not that it looked all that appetizing.

“So,” said Hawkins as he sat down at the table across from you and Dean. “I’ll take fact that I didn’t wake up arrested or dead as a good sign.”

“You tell us your version of the story, then Y/N and I will decide if we believe you or not. Got it?” said Dean.

“Where would you like me to start?” he asked, taking a deep breath.

“The beginning,” said Dean.

“Of what? This mess? My rollercoaster of a marriage? My career? The assholes that took her?” he said.

“You and my mom,” you said, his face turning softer. He bit his bottom lip but nodded.

“I met your mom when I was on a weekend pass from duty. I guess...I was never much for school. I grew up in a military family. My dad, his dad, so on. I joined straight out of high school. I was in the army, then army rangers, then went to sniping school and then the rest you technically need a clearance for but I joined a black ops team. I was very, very good at what I did. My parents were both gone by that time. Family was never much of a thing for us. Relationships were off the table. Until I was at a bar one night and met Lila. She was...she looks like some delicate flower but she’ll kick your ass without a bat of her eye. You remind me of her,” said Hawkins, glancing down at his lap.

“So you met a girl and fell in love?” asked Dean.

“Yes. I never told her details of things of I’ve done, not in the beginning. But I broke down one night, told her my dirty secrets, people I’d killed. Strangely, she just smiled and said it was okay. I wasn’t the monster I thought I’d turned into. She saved me. She taught me how to be my own person again. I left the military, took up a job doing house renos, became a general contractor and we got married. We decided to have a baby. We were happy. It went smooth, the little girl popped out like that. Lila was fine and you were fine. I love your mother but I knew I could never love her as much as I loved you. So we had you about a day and then, you went to the nursery and you never came back.

“I’ve seen some horrible things but that takes the cake. You just feel so helpless. The police assured us they’d find you, find who took you. We went home without you and a day went by, another day, a week. We had one picture of you. This was before phones were everywhere. We just had the one. We put up signs and it was on the news and we got our friends to help. I even got my old military friends to help hunt you down. We never found you. Eventually we were told that we should be happy because a newborn meant they might not kill you, might not do horrible things to you as you grew up. We should think on the positive side that maybe we’d get lucky and you’d have a normal life with whoever took you. We tried to get through it. Lila and I started to fight, a lot though. We took a break away from each other for a few months. I spent years searching for you, driving around this whole damn country. Sometimes I stayed away just so I wouldn’t have to see her. We lasted about four years until we thought about divorce. We were miserable.

“But we had a long night of talking and decided our daughter would probably be pretty ashamed of us if she saw how we were. So we started to go on dates again, fall back in love. You weren’t the subject of every conversation. We still looked but we started to stop drowning in it so much. We tried for a family again. You have younger brothers even. One’s 22, in his senior year at Ole Miss. Your other little brother is 19. He’s at Notre Dame. We never stopped looking sweetheart, not once. I promise. But we had to try and live again before it was too late. We spent 26 years looking for you and then you walked straight into my lap,” he said.

“Why were you at a bar on a Monday night?” you asked, Hawkins wearing a half-smile.

“Lila does a spin class girls night thing with her friends on Monday nights. Both your brothers are away at school right now...I’m not perfect, Y/N. Sometimes when I’m on my own, I just want to forget for a little while,” he said. “Lawrence isn’t that far a drive from Kansas City. It’s easier to get shitfaced out where no one knows you.”

“How’d you find out about Jim Jones?” asked Dean.

“Maybe about six months after Y/N was taken. The cops started looking at me as a suspect. There were police reports of me allegedly doing stuff to kids up in the Dakotas. I’ve never even been there. But the stuff looked real and the cops turned on me, on us. It took some digging and a few favors from some of those old friends but I found out about Jim Jones. I didn’t understand at first, never understood really, not until I saw you Monday night. It all started to click, who this father you were complaining about was. He took you. That was it, that had to have been why. But I did some digging and he never had a child, not until some six year old popped up in his life. Well, I did some more digging earlier this week and found a six year old had gone missing a few months prior in Lawrence. I found out who the mother was, found out she was dead, got the story, started putting it together. She was Jones’ old girl. Only she couldn’t have a kid so he’d ditched her. I figure she went nuts and stole one so she could win him back. Years go by and he finally responds to her again, he comes down, spews her some bullshit story about needing to take you away and lying about it, promises in a few months time she’ll come up with him and the kid. But he only wanted the kid so he gets rid of the woman and raises Y/N as his own.”

“If he wanted a kid so bad, why not just freaking adopt one?” you asked. “Or hook up with some chick?”

“He can’t have kids, can he,” said Dean with a smile.

“Nope,” said Hawkins as he returned it. “Figure out the rest of it?”

“There’s something in his past that would prevent him from adopting a child, isn’t there,” said Dean.

“It’s sealed under a juvie record but yeah. He practically killed a kid he bullied when he was a teenager. He’s kind of a psychopath. It’s how he’s so successful actually. But if someone were to do a background check, they’d see it and he’d be declined,” said Hawkins.

“Why didn’t we see it then?” said Dean.

“You didn’t search the juvenile database and sealed records I bet. You wouldn’t have a reason to,” said Hawkins. “But I hate the guy’s guts so I went all out. My working theory is he wanted a kid, probably wasn’t ever going to do anything about it, but this chick that was infatuated with him stole Y/N for him. Jimbo saw it as the kid he wanted and then cleaned up the mess.”

“Why would he want a kid though? As far as I remember, he never hurt me,” you said. “Up until sometime Monday night at least.”

“Kids are nice, they make you happier. If he’s as fucked up as I think he is, he probably wanted a child to help keep him relatively normal. You probably did do that for him...up until the part where you started to figure out he was being shady,” he said.

“What are you thinking, Y/N? We’ve heard a lot of stories the past two days,” said Dean.

“Let me see your wallet,” you said. Hawkins reached into his back pocket and set it on the table. You flipped it open, his license saying he lived in Kansas City and he was an organ donor. You skimmed through the cards, finding two pictures tucked into a pocket. One was recent, four people standing in it, Hawkins, an older woman who had the same hair color as you, and two young men. The other picture was worn away at the edges and was creased all over the place, a baby in a pink hat staring back.

“We’re your parents. We’re supposed to protect you and we let you down. I understand if you want nothing to do with us when this is all over. We’re strangers to you. But let us find a safe place for you until Jim is caught or dead. I prefer dead but I’ll take what I can,” he said.

“Dean says we can’t kill him,” you said.

“I said you can’t kill him, Y/N,” said Dean. “Last time we talked about this, we were talking about killing John here.”

“Well I guess what happens next is which father you believe,” said Hawkins.

“I know which father I believe,” you said, handing him back his wallet. “Dean.”

You both stood up, Hawkins staying seated as you went over to the side of the cabin.

“It’s another story,” said Dean. “It makes sense and I didn’t hear him slip up on any facts. But still, he could just be a good liar too.”

“If you had to pick,” you said, Dean looking over at Hawkins.

“I know who I pick,” he said. You nodded and went over to the table, Hawkins turning in his chair.

“If I asked you not to kill Jim, what would you say?” you asked.

“I’d say you’re a better person than I am,” he said. “Most people are better than I am, Y/N.”

“I think you and Dean will get along quite a bit once this all settles down,” you said, giving him a smile.

“How’d you wind up with a Lawrence cop for a boyfriend anyways?” he asked.

“It was a quick relationship,” you said.

“Yesterday we weren’t even dating,” said Dean with a chuckle.

“I will try not to kill Jim but I will if I have to,” said Hawkins. “If the cop is okay with that.”

“I don’t condone murder,” said Dean, lifting his chin.

“You’ve killed someone before,” said Hawkins, looking him up and down, Dean swallowing. “Trust me. You sleep easier when the person’s gone.”

“I don’t think I ever said I don’t want him to not die. He did try to kill me after all,” you said.

“Well that settles that then. We kill him if we have to,” said Hawkins. He stared at you for a moment, looking you up and down.

“What?” you asked.

“You’re very beautiful,” he said, a sad smile on his face. “So aside from the cop boyfriend and the tendency to be kidnapped, do you...do you remember much else about yourself you’re willing to share?”

“I’m an architect apparently,” you said, Hawkins breaking out into a laugh.

“No shit! That’s what Kyle’s going to school for. He’s the youngest,” said Hawkins, chuckling and you saw how much gentler he looked with a smile on his face. “Your brothers are going to be so excited to meet you.”

“Let’s save the family reunion for when it’s over. We don’t need more liabilities,” said Dean. “Speaking of which, after what is probably going to be one of the worst dinners of all of our lives, we need to get somewhere with cell service. I need to catch up with Sam and hopefully that kid is smart enough to have already sent some protection down for your sons or he’s bringing them up to our station.”

“We’re on the same side?” asked Hawkins as he stood.

“We always were,” said Dean with a nod. “We got a long drive ahead of us and Jim will probably be in Lawrence waiting for us by the time we get there. You have to let us call some of the shots though, agreed?”

“Alright,” said Hawkins, going to the stove and turning it off. He grabbed the pot and opened the back door, tossing it outside before he returned. “We’ll run through a drive thru. We need to get her home.”

“Let’s get going then.”

_____

A/N: Read the Final Part here!

#supernatural #spn #dean x reader #dean winchester #supernatural fanfiction #dean winchester x reader #dean #winchester #dean spn #au #cop!dean x reader #series

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bluepenguinstories · 5 years

Text

Happiness Overload Chapter Twenty-Four

The device attached itself to the nape of the neck and burrowed its way into the skin, integrating until the device and the body were one. Once the lights flickered to the tune of the heart's words, the first word was spoken:

“OMIGOSH!”

Wow. I MUST try that again. I opened my mouth and:

“OMIGOSH!DIDYOUSEETHOSEGIRLS?THEYWERESOCUTE!IWANNADATEONEOFTHEM!AND!AND!GUYS!MYVOICE!IT!IS!SOCUTE!”

Gumby puffed his cheeks and croaked. You don't have to make it look SO obvious that you aren't impressed. GOSH!

“Calm thyself,” Gumby tapped on my froggy shoulders. His smiling salamander mask did NOT match his tone, if you were to ask me.

I puffed my cheeks as well in protest.

“Come on, don't be like that, Polo. We're just as happy you're alive and that you get to speak. All I ask is that you talk a little slower.”

“I'm SORRY! It's just that I saw GIRLS while I was hopping about!”

“Yes, but remember: humans are our enemies. Those who are not frogs nor wish to become frogs ought to be eliminated.”

“I know, but...GIRLS!”

Gumby turned to “Marco”, my “brother”. HA!

“I must say, it is rather impressive that you knew of device that allowed Polo to speak in English. What I would like to know, however, is how Polo managed to survive the building's destruction.”

“Marco” tugged at a beard that seemed to have grown out of a puff of smoke. “His” eyes looked sunken, as well, and wrinkles around “his” face. Perhaps such a jester was trying to mimic how Conrad looked, but then again...maybe “he” was going for an “old man” look.

“Many doors,” wheezed “Marco” in what was a DEFINITE “old man”impression, though ALL I could think of was a chain-smoking chipmunk.

“BRO kept ME in 'HIS' pocket!” I piped up.

“Hmm...yes...sadly, I could not fit Mr. Periwinkle in my pocket,” my “brother” surmised, hunching “his” back now. Really playing SOME kind of role, but anyone's guess.

“OMIGOSH! You said we'd ALL be okay!”

“Yes, my dear sister. Mr. Periwinkle will be fine as soon as the facility is rebuilt. I imagine he may feel a little different once reawakened, maybe a little hungry...”

“Well, either way, I'm sure glad we've made some progress. Not much further now and we'll be able to create a new world for frogkind!”

“Ho ho ho!”

I tilted my lumpy head. “You Santa now?”

“New world for frogkind, or preserve frogs worldwide...either way, a new world is upon us. I project that the happiness meter is already off the charts. Think of how much higher it can go.”

“Why does it matter if humans are happier when they are our enemies?” Gumby groaned.

“Your enemies. I love all my brothers and sisters. Humans, frogs, beings from other planets, you name it. They're all so precious, ho ho ho!” Chuckled “Santa”.

“Who ARE you trying to fool? You're less like “SANTA” and more like “SAT--”

“Never mind that, think about where we are right now.”

Right. RIGHT. Oh WOW. I was SO absorbed in my new voice and how CUTE it was that I forgot about where we WERE.

So, I looked around and noticed a room full of machinery with buttons all over that did WHO KNEW WHAT. All I knew is how sleek and silver it all was, SO shiny. The air around tasted manufactured and rubbery, but not the GOOD kind of rubbery you get from eating flies. Even the floors where I lay my CUTE little frog legs were shiny AND smooth. I think “Saint Nick” wanted me to look further, but the only other thing of note were strange devices secured in cases. Gumby must've opened up the case that held what's allowing me to speak and...

“OMIGOSH!” I blurted.

“Ho ho! Amazing, yes, sister?”

“Shut IT! I was just remembering how CUTE those girls were! I hope I can see them again! UGH!”

“Ol' Scratch” gave me a pat on the back.

“Fret not, sister. You failed to kill them and they have survived their ordeal. Right now they are in a separate part of the whole.”

“YAY!” I hopped and flapped my tongue about. Alas, no flies in sight.

“Yes, I too am relieved. If the two were to have died before I got a chance to meet one of them, I just don't know what I would have done.”

My “brother” looked mournful, but was quick to change demeanor once again.

“For the moment, you two should look around the area. I, on the other hand, have a bit of soul-searching to go on. Fret not! We shall meet again!”

“Excuse ME?” I croaked. “That's it? Not much instruction, huh?”

The eternal imposter closed “his” eyes and cracked a smile. “Henceforth, you and Gumby may squabble to be the de facto leader!”

I crossed my upper frog legs with displeasure. My humanly physique was not having it, but what else could have been done but let the wanderer wander?

As “he” walked away into another room, or faded from view as if the presence was but a mere memory, Gumby turned to me and the two of us nodded in understanding.

From a control room, two esteemed scholars were having a little chit-chat with each other as they observed an unsatisfactory situation. I would soon be in that same control room.

“I am glad everything's coming together, but I hate how easy everything has been,” I lamented to Gumby just a little while prior.

“And why would that displease you?” Gumby had asked me.

I gave my colleague in amphibious studies no answer then, and if I were to have an answer now, it wouldn't be a satisfactory one. All that ran through my head were jelly beans and the knowledge buried somewhere that if things weren't complicated further in any way, shape, or form, then I would be one angry beaver.

“And then I said 'he had a booy that just wouldn't quit!'” One of the scientists threw a laughing fit.

“Dr. Chekhov, entertainer!” The other congratulated. “Maybe once reset, the next Sgt. Michaels feel a certain attraction toward our type!” The other one suggested, bearing a thick Russian accent.

“I concur, Dr. Tolstoy! To be kissed by such a hunk of muscles is what all scientists dream of!”

“Gentlemen,” I greeted as I hobbled up to the two.

“Who-Who are you?!” Dr. Chekhov struggled to speak. Poor sap must've been paralyzed with fear.

“Dr. Erikson, at your service,” I inched closer, introducing myself in the process.

I noticed Dr. Tolstoy reach his hand toward a button. Before he could press, what I presume would have been a button for weapons to appear, or to call security, I sandwiched myself between the two men and drew out my knives from my cloak, stabbing each one in the side.

“I agree, Dr. Chekhov. Guns are so excessive.”

Both seethed and winced in pain. I licked my lips in response. They writhed and squirmed and I noticed them reel back and try to reach for those buttons once again. Oh, I wouldn't let them hit that spot. Just as they were about to press their hand against the surface, I pulled my knives out of their sides and rammed them into their hands, forcing their palms to be stuck to the monitors just inches away from their security buttons. As I watched them attempt to struggle free, I shoved the knives deeper, and listened close to their screams. Just as I was sure the two would let something out, I covered their mouths and made shushing sounds.

“There, there, all will be well.”

I let go of them and Dr. Tolstoy spoke right away.

“What you want?”

“Let me tell you a story: God walks into a bar and announces loud enough for everyone to hear, 'I'm an atheist!'”

Shock and confusion filled Dr. Tolstoy in equal measure.

“I don't understand,” he whimpered.

“I want you to have a little faith,” I soothed once more. “Nobody bats an eyelash. See, the joke is that God showed up as a straight, white man! Isn't that funny?” I burst into a fit of laughter until I noticed that neither scientist looked amused. Such a brash reaction caused me to grimace.

“...Did I leave that part out?” I knew I had to remedy this somehow.

“Okay, so the bartender asks God what it'll be and God denies any drinks, saying, 'I don't believe in any spirits'. Now, this is how the bartender knew he was dealing with a smartass, and any rational person would have kicked this guy out, but the bartender had already met the quota on tips and it would soon be closing time, so as long as there wasn't too much of a disturbance, he figured all was good.”

“Just tell us what you're doing here!” Dr. Chekhov demanded. I covered his mouth again and shushed.

“It's rude to interrupt. Now, where was I?” I had to pause once more as the good doctor broke my concentration. “Ah, so one of the patrons decides to humor God. They walk up and go, 'now, what of heaven? What of hell?' To which God replies, 'what about it?' The patron shook their head. 'Even still, are you going to mock those with faith?' God shrugged in reply and told the patron, 'I just don't believe in a higher power.' By coincidence, God took a sip of a cider.”

Dr. Chekhov's eyes widened, a great revelation thrust upon him.

“You...! Dr. Magellan!”

The two looked at each other, a loving gaze of despair. Each helped each other to break free from the knives that held down their hands, but I wasn't done yet. I grabbed two more knives from my cloak and slammed them into the scientists' other hands. Now they were nailed down to their machinery.

“You wanted to know what I was doing here, yes?”

Tears filled their cheeks. Blood trickled from their hands. Yet, they nodded.

“I am but a Steve looking for his Adam.”

I could sense confusion but I knew past their agitation, they knew.

“Were Adam and Eve both siblings and lovers? I love everyone, but sometimes this love is a blurry one.”

Though bound, the two were able to point me in the right direction. Kind gestures went a long way. As thanks, I pressed my hands against their faces, feeling the palms of my fingers against their flesh. Yes, those two were going to make great masks.

I bid them farewell and took my knives with me.

I took note of every item we passed through, mapping out the layout of our surrounding in my head. Polo, meanwhile, hopped about.

“Now that we can communicate, I have many questions I wish to ask you,” I mentioned as I took my strides, never averting my gaze from the foreign objects.

“Oh, I BET! This is all SO exciting!”

I think I preferred it more when all you could say was 'Polo'.

...But then I wouldn't have the chance to gain insight. I should take this opportunity, however it presents itself.

“But y'know, dude, we could ALWAYS communicate. Remember when you signaled which direction for us to go?”

I shook my head. I already knew we weren't going to find what we came for in the current room. I pointed her in the direction of the next door.

“SEE? That's what I'm saying!” She pointed out before hopping through.

I shook my head again. That wasn't what I meant.

We made our way to the next set of halls. Alarms began to sound. Marco had been a fool. If he had taken the time, there was little doubt he could have disabled the alarms. My third arm tried to reach up to my ear to block out the noise, but couldn't reach far enough. Soldiers ran out in droves to investigate what set off the alarm. Their armor, thick and metallic. Their weapons, strange and box-like. I would have to examine their technology and take note of it all as soon as possible.

“Who goes there?” The soldiers yelled.

Polo tilted her froggy head.

“Umm...RIBBIT?” She must have still been getting used to this new voice. My third arm reached up to my face and rubbed my forehead.

“You don't have to say 'ribbit'...” I groaned.

She made a leap into the air just as the bullets fired in every direction. My third arm was enough to protect me, and Polo's speed matched with her acrobatics meant that the soldiers' efforts were futile. She would grab some of the bullets with her tongue and spit them back at the soldiers. None of them doing any damage, due to their armor, but the acidic nature of Polo's mouth was strong enough to corrode bits and pieces of their armor. Glimpses of skin could be seen, and knowing what said flesh was made out of...

I only hoped salvation could come soon enough.

Polo managed to land a dropkick on one of the soldiers, and as I watched the hunk of alloy that carried such a clumsy species fall to a sleek floor made of unknown metals, I lifted my mask and licked my lips.

“Why are you just standing there?!” One of the soldiers barked. The surrounding oafs had their weapons raised.

“Are you going to alert others?” I looked around. “Or maybe others are already on their way. I would like to see what happens next, yes...” I licked my lips again, anticipating the next move. My gill rakers twitched like the little whiskers they resembled and I sucked up the air around me. Free from the soldiers' grasp came their weapons and I felt them make their way into my mouth. I took a big gulp and swallowed. Later on, I would have to regurgitate them and study the anatomy of their weaponry and see about crafting any upgrades.

The gasps from the soldiers were unsurprising; a natural reaction that anyone not used to my behavior would have.

Turrets and lasers appeared from panels in the walls and floors. Again, not a surprise. If these 'elite' soldiers were having difficulty, other measures would have to be taken. I shielded myself with my third arm and watched as it fell apart, other arms forming and unforming, filling in whatever gaps my old third arm left.

“This too...is fascinating...” I looked down as the lasers continued to do their work and holes were made into the arm. As much as the pain was on a higher threshold than most could handle, I made the effort not to flinch, and instead turned my head toward Polo and nodded.

“You GOT it, BOSSERONI!”

With her tongue, she tore a strip off the wall and crawled her way in where I presume she next found some panel to control the turrets because what came next were the robotic weaponry shifting their target from my beaten hydra of miniature arms and toward the soldiers.

“Et tu?” I asked the devices. They responded by ignoring my quip and taking fire at the soldiers who helped raise them.

Astonished, I took note of how the armor prevented the artillery and energy blasts from piercing through the armor and instead knocked each soldier back.

“...It's not easy being green,” emitted from each of the soldiers' helmets a song and Lilypad's calling card.

“Just what have you done to our communications?” Erupted the cries of a soldier.

“Not my doing,” the smile upon my face stretched. “Our esteemed engineer, Polo, has that honor.”

“YO! I found a mini PC and I can do all SORTS of junk on it!” Her voice box boomed. That voice was still one I would have to get used to.

I relaxed my face and exhaled a soft sigh.

“This has been a valuable experience. However, it would be far more valuable for us to move forward.”

Polo made a mighty leap while I walked forward, stepping on one of the fallen soldiers.

“Just what are you?” The one I had stepped on asked.

I leaned down, removing their helmet with one of my more presentable arms, and took a look at the face I would soon forget.

“An observer. Someone who seeks happiness. One who moves forward.”

I made good on my word and put the helmet back on as an asinine sign of respect before I stepped on their face and pressed my foot down hard enough to crush the soldiers' skull. Before I may have had a slight smile, my default expression. Now it was a full on grin, stretching far enough to reach my eyes. As soon as I heard the crunch and could confirm their forgettable face was flattened, I made my strides. Soon the two of us would be closing in on our goal.

There was a twinge of pain, to which I responded by turning my attention to the esteemed Dr. Tolstoy.

“I just had the strangest feeling,” I groaned, a pulsing headache crawling its way to the surface of my forehead.

“Just now?” Tolstoy with his thick and charming accent asked in response.

“Just now, yes. It felt like...” I was doing my damnedest to recall the feeling. “Like there was a presence that wasn't supposed to be here. Just now.”

“Non-authorized? Besides the girls set to be executed?”

I nodded, loose hairs making their way to the floor.

“Never worry about those two. Velvet shall cease and once the section of the facility is been restored, a new Mavis shall resume her role.”

“Wonderful!”

“...Then there's the matter of the amphibious presence.”

“Fear not, brother. We'll boil the frogs, then dissect them!”

“One of them seems to be part salamander. The fact that they've caused us this much trouble is worrisome.”

“As I said: boil, then dissect.”

Yes, boil, then dissect...once we get the air base up and running, that fat toad that ran around causing a massacre was sure to be apprehended and experimented on. Discovery can be a dirty business, everyone in the field knew that. Should it bother me that some hundred or so lives were lost to a unknown terror? Not particularly. We rebuild and adapt. Property damage as well, it means nothing when we can recreate what has been lost as if it never left us.

Even still, my fears were not alleviated.

“I don't know. I can't shake the feeling...someone was here in this room...”

“Would it help if you checked the cameras?”

I pondered. Yes, if I just looked at the footage of the past five, no, thirty minutes, there would lie my answer.

So I clicked through the footage. Nothing. Just me. Sitting there.

As I intensified my stare, a jolt of pain shot through my pain as if I had been stabbed. I felt as if my life was being stolen as my breath shortened, only for it to be gone again in just a split second. Maybe there was something my mind was surpressing, maybe it was my old age (doubtful considering how well I've preserved myself), or maybe it was something trying to worm itself in – a creature wriggling through, forcing itself in.

...But even still, nothing changed on the camera. It was just me.

I turned to Dr. Tolstoy and laughed.

“That's right! I always fancied myself a companion!”

I spun the extra chair a good bit. It seldom brought me joy, but being down here could be a lonesome experience. We all had our job to do and little else.

“The ETNA corporation has been kind to us. I made a note to request a companion at the next available time. After all, I had to derive happiness somewhere.

Ah, but in the meantime, I had Dr. Tolstoy.

Doors opened that were not meant to open. As it was believed, the only one with the permissions necessary was deceased. Of course, in such a line of work, the truth was more that said person was somewhere outside of space, no longer concerned with the contents within.

Ah, but I was, and I stepped through, irregardless of technological advances.

Within the confines (and they were confines, that much was a certainty), was a large laboratory, not unlike the multitude of laboratories that make the facility their home. Large cylinders filled with unknown fluids lined in rows, computer systems lined up to match each cylinder, and blueprints sprawled to indicate what each one contained. Each blueprint, with different diagrams, different formulas scattered throughout, and in various languages. Props to whoever could read such blueprints and understand the contents, but what I sought was much greater:

Within one cylinder in particular was a body of a being, once conscious, floating within the fluids. Such a creature with their head hunched over, and even still was well over ten feet tall with a thick, bulbous head and sunken eyes. Their complexion, desaturated, and limbs that resembled the limbs of trees, sprouting from their torso. There was a human-like quality to them, even if the majority of the genetic structure was far from anything of Earth.

“My Adam...” I murmured, pressing my palm against the casing. “Although we have never met, my brother, I have thought of kissing you ever since I had the memory of your existence.”

I traced my fingers across the casing, the smoothness of it soothing me.

“How unfortunate that we meet now. You, a prisoner to those you were against, and I, free to dismantle friend and foe alike.

Silk eyes told me all. I nodded, agreeing with the assessment.

“I know,” I reached out, although knowing there was little I could do. “It isn't right. There must be another way. I should respect my elders, right?”

An earful of memories rushed forward.

“I was never very good at that, I'm afraid. You see, what I seek most is not something so grandiose. I only wish to experience joy, a simple zest for life, something to justify this existence.”

“You know,” I was so casually interrupted by a voice I failed to account for. “That thing can't actually hear you.”

I turned to face the figure: a listless scholar, scientist, or student, appearing adrift in a cushioned chair and hunched onto a desk full of papers.

“Oh, of course. I was just taking the time to consider the frailty of existence, even accounting for a being of such power.”

“How did you even get in here?” Asked the bookish oaf.

“I am Dr. Oh...you know what? Forget about it.” I was too exhausted to give myself a name in this instance.

“I see. Well, if you're not supposed to be here, you'll probably be killed on sight. Maybe not. Never had a guest before, let alone an intruder, so who am I to say what will happen?”

“I came in through the door,” I explained. The very door that I should not have had access to.

At this point, the one at the desk went back to the papers. I was here for a reason, but having an audience was a treat I could resist sinking my teeth into.

“And what of you?” I pondered. Although looking toward the being in the cylinder, the question was addressed to the human.

“How did I get here or who am I?” Yawned the listless words from a tired soul.

“More, what is your purpose?” I was surprised by my ability to carry through this conversation so far.

“Ah, excellent. An all-purpose question,” The good lab rat sat up, attention now on me. “Well then, I am Dr. Lem. If you've made it here, I'm sure you already know what it is I do.”

“How much have you learned?”

“Again, if you're here --”

“So you observe this unconscious being, keep it in a stasis. Neither awake nor dead. Humor me: let's assume I don't know what those liquids are in the tube.”

“Simply put, it's bongwater.”

I stroked my chin, the same one that at one instance, whether in the past or future, wore a beard. “What strain?”

“Excuse me?”

“Indica or sativa?”

“You must already know we've been keeping this thing in an unconscious state, preserved. How else do you think we managed that?”

“That's not what I asked.”

Dr. Lem sighed. “Hybrid. It's a concentrated form of several plants, distilled into a liquid. We tried many methods to keep our subject alive and found that to be the only sufficient method.”

“Ah, that explains so much. Thank you.”

“Does it? I don't feel like I gained much from this conversation.”

My doctorate companion resigned back to the papers on the desk.

“Is this what you do when you have nothing to report on my brother?”

“My every action is monitored as well. Not much I can do, so I just find things to occupy myself. I've taken to writing a novel, for instance, as I am allowed pen and paper. I've come up with several drafts. Now if you excuse me...wait. Did you say 'my brother'?”

“It's a term of endearment. I find in some ways that the thing in the case and I are joined at the hips.”

“Every scientist, every soldier, everything with a pulse, including the facilities themselves, have a role to play. We are to stick to that role with little to no interaction unless permitted. We are monitored, though at this point I doubt it's even a human that monitors us. Artificial intelligence has become so if we do something out of line, the system will know and eliminate us well before any person does. The only reason I know this is because I am allowed to.”

“The system was offline for a few hours,” I pointed out.

“Yes. I wasn't allowed out, but even though if I tried, I may have made my escape if not for the fact that the doors were stuck shut. The one time I may have been safe to leave, and I couldn't.”

I shook my head. “Shame, really.”

“I only say all this to highlight what kind of situation I, and the others who work here, are in. Though I'm sure you're already well aware of this. Hell, all our food is made from 3D printers!”

I tapped on the casing.

“Please don't do that,” Dr. Lem scolded.

“The being you hold, they're referred to as 'the beige', correct?”

No response. Doctor was lost in the throws of creativity.

“That's a good of a name as any, I suppose. I like to call them family. Of course, I may also call you family, if it pleases you.”

“Do you mind? I'm busy writing.”

“Your magnum opus, the one no one will ever read. The thing you use to keep yourself sane. Some kind of marvelous sci-fi romp about the strangeness of memories.”

Dr. Lem leaned forward, a spark in the scientist's eyes.

“How did you know?”

“My entire life has been built on the strangeness of memories. It is said that a 'Beige' is born with the memories of all things, as I'm sure this one was, once. Imagine it, the contents of a 'hall of memories', ingrained knowledge upon birth. I can understand the interest in them.”

“Do you have an interest as well?”

“I am afraid very little interests me.”

This time, it was Lem who said, “shame, really.”

“There are qualities that a 'Beige' holds that extends past innate knowledge, of course. Molding and shifting their features in slight ways, their skin a sturdy material in which projectiles mean little to them, a hallucinogenic effect upon those in contact in them which can be used to influence others in various ways when honed.”

“I have observed similar things, yes. They're all in my notes.”

“With knowledge comes the knowledge of being able to exist near memories they have a connection with. Some may call this 'teleportation', although I would say that their methods are a little different than the ETNA Corporation's.”

“Fascinating...Is there more?”

At this point, my interest in Dr. Lem was waning, although to say there was any interest to begin with would have been a farce.

“Quite unfair, I would say. I would even go as far as to say it's cheating. But that's what things are like in the universe. We have so many powers that cheat to win that we may as well excuse this, too.”

I tapped once more.

“Could you stop that?”

I tapped harder.

“Why?” I asked as I stared at the Beige and wished they could stare back. “Will it break?”

“No...I don't think so. But the only think keeping them alive is the cannabis! If the tube were to break, they would die!”

I could see little cracks forming.

“On the contrary,” I smiled. “I think I'll be just fine.”

A little bit of this...and that...and AH! There we go!

“Are you about done?”

I tapped on the little voice box attached to me and shushed Gumby with one of my webbed fingers.

“Excuse YOU!”

“No, excuse you. I do not take well to being shushed.”

I stuck my tongue out at Gumby, who, underneath the mask of a smiling salamander lie the face of a smiling salamander.

There was a pause where both of us watched the monitor in front of us shift into a video of Frogger. Then, an announcement flashed on the screen, spoken by a representative of the World Wildlife Foundation:

“We are Lilypad: A Nonprofit Organization who seeks to enrich the lives of amphibians across the globe. Gay rights. Trans rights. Peace on Earth.”

I grinned. I believe Gumby did too. I mean, Gumby HAD to. I wrote the script!”

I hopped along the corridor, to which Gumby followed. I could sense a stench of disappointment, which meant Gumby needed a shower, like, BAD.

“Did you really have to expose the World Wildlife Foundation like that? Now The Flashbulb will go after them.”

“Not to worry, YO! We got this!”

Before us appeared an image of a tall, silver haired lady with the face of the most beautiful toad I had ever seen.

“This is Toadette. How may I assist you today?” She spoke, her voice ever so alluring.

“Toadette, really?”

“I think her name WAS Edna or something,” I shrugged, then added, “but Toadette just sounds prettier, don'tcha think? It's only temporary, anyway!”

“You changed the image and personality of an AI as well as hacking into a security system. I'm impressed.”

“YO! It's only temporary! Then she'll be REAL mad and stuff!”

Gumby growled. “Toadette, can you lead us to happiness?”

“Is that what you desire?” Toadette inquired.

“Enough with THE cryptic shit, SHEESH!” I scolded Gumby. “NAH! What we WANT is the lab! Y'KNOW? Where the FROG sterilization goo is at!”

“Ah. Just down the hall, to the right. Three rooms across.”

“So, she's going to return to her old self momentarily, then she'll want to kill us,” Gumby pointed out.

“YEAH! But what are consequences?”

We made it to our destination.

“Toadette, MY fair toady, IF you PLEASE!”

She puffed her cheeks, and the doors to the lab opened.

“Thank you! You're the BEST A.I. EVER!” I hopped as my voice box squeaked, both of us in joy.

As soon as Gumby and I made our way inside, the doors closed behind us. We could see the image of Toadette shifting back to the face of a pale, stone-faced human.

“Now, this will be where you die.”

“LAME!” I bellowed. “You were SO much cuter as a toad!”

“This fast, huh?” Gumby observed.

“I commend whatever abilities you have learned, but I am nothing if not adaptable.”

The hologram image of the lady disappeared, without me being able to admire her beauty as a toad. I pined like the lovesick fool I was.

“YO! I REALLY need a FROG girlfriend!”

“First thing's first,” Gumby reminded me, rummaging around the contents, examining every vial.

As if I was going to sit around and let Gumby take all the credit, NUH-UH. I hopped about the lab and kept my froggy eyes peeled.

“Careful not to knock anything over,” Gumby scolded. Said coward never even bothered to look my way.

We continued our search. I asked Gumby if he even knew what any of those vials contained.

“No, but there should be some documents somewhere that would point us in the right direction.”

“USELESS! USELESS! Utterly USELESS!” I hissed, or as close as a frog could get to hissing.

So continued our hopscotch across every nook and cranny. I'm talking about cupboards and counter tops alike, sinks and places hard to reach. If this was some buried treasure, or if it was in plain sight, we'd find it.

“Hey! Who's there?” Called out the gruff voice of a soldier, situated at the other end of the lab in his fancy armor with that big ol' hunk of weapon in their lap.

Gumby, with his grinning salamander face, turned to face the soldier. “I have expressed my desire to study your weaponry and armor.”

The soldier picked themselves up and aimed at us. Gumby signaled for me to do the ol' tongue-twister, which means exactly what you think it does: I flung my tongue forward and wrapped it around the soldier and the chair, twisting and constricting until I was sure the soldier couldn't move.

“Sit still,” Gumby commanded.

“It burns!” The soldier screeched.

“Yes, Polo is a poison dart frog-person.”

“My tongue is good for ALL SORTS of things!” I added.

“How did that thing say that?”

Really? 'That thing'?

I pointed to my voice box and scowled.

“Right. How convenient.”

“Now,” Gumby commanded. “You will tell us everything we need to know.”

The soldier nodded.

“First of all, were you aware of our existence?”

Gumby tossed me a knife and I caught it. I raised it against the soldier's neck.

“Are you aware about this? You better not be,” I threatened.

“We were told a group would be trying to steal from us, we just didn't imagine what that group would be!” The soldier gasped.

“Even still, if you were aware, you should have been better prepared. Why would your military allow us to so easily make a mockery of you?”

I inched the knife closer.

“Because simply put, we don't care!” Even as the soldier said this, I could tell the 'we' didn't apply to the one in the chair. I could smell the panic from where I was situated.

“The base you so thoroughly destroyed has been reconstructed! We didn't prepare an ambush there because we knew what you were after! Even with your skills, did you really think we would give it up? It's gone!”

Gumby looked at me, to which I looked back. Both of us, in shock.

“Gone?”

The soldier shook their head, helmet not allowing much of a range of motion.

“You were never going to get it. Now you are trapped in this room and reinforcements will show up to massacre you.”

Gumby walked forward and pressed his third arm, which was really a multitude of tiny arms at this point, against the soldier's helmet. Even behind the grinning facade, I could tell Gumby was pissed AS FUCK.

“Where is it now? We need it to achieve our amphibious paradise.”

“Who knows? Another base, another facility. Somewhere in another state, or even just a few miles away. Maybe another country. Maybe some thousand miles underwater.”

Gumby groaned.

“You think we're going to kill you, yes?”

“Doesn't matter. Not like my life means any more than anyone else's here.”

Gumby chuckled, lifting up his mask and revealing the grinning salamander underneath. He reached into his labcoat pocket and pulled out a tiny vial.

“I never managed to reproduce it. I was hoping that if we obtained your organization's concoction to sterilize all amphibians that I could reverse engineer it. Alas, all I have is this sample from when I made myself who I am today: the next evolutionary step in mankind.

He lifted the soldier's helmet. I never even caught a glimpse of the soldier's face. All I could see was Gumby forcing the contents of the vial down the soldier's throat.

“This may kill you, yet. But if it doesn't, you shall become like one of us.”

I let go of the soldier and hopped away, the soldier now having lost consciousness. Gumby retreated back to the other side of the lab where we entered and slammed his fists against the counters.

“Marco led us right into a trap!” He bellowed.

“Well, DUH!” I retorted. “He DID say that we would be doing just what The Flashbulb expected us to!”

“No, but he must have known what we were looking for wouldn't be here!”

“Again, DUH! Bro tends to know these things!”

Gumby paused.

“That reminds me, I've always wondered how it was you two were able to communicate.”

“AH! The question that never needed answering!” I beamed. “Like Han and Chewie! Like Rocket and Groot!”

“We're going to be surrounded soon. Our odds aren't looking too great. Could you please just indulge me?”

“Yeah, DUDE! So, like, I think he explained it to me once, LIKE, he knew my memories!”

“That...doesn't register.”

“It's like mind reading, sorta, I guess? Memories of the past, present, and future. He says he's got 'em, they're just a bit jumbled, like jelly beans!”

“How is that possible? Some item he uses?”

“I don't know, YO!”

“Even though I met him before you, you know him better than I do.”

“Yeah, but not MUCH! All's I can say is trickery is par for the course!”

“Right. He did tell me he may lose interest in our goal. He also refused to become one of us.”

“YUP! Who IS he? FROG? HUMAN? NAH! More like a TREE! Or a SLIME!”

“You know, those are different things.”

“He's a MUSHROOM!”

Gumby drew a deep breath. “Is that really what Marco is?”

I shrugged. “Beats me! He's OUT of this WORLD, YO!”

“There may be something to that if he was in the city where Kelly Roger was and he managed to get here. Oh, what I would give to dissect him piece by piece and figure out just what he really is.”

“Good LUCK, YO! Dude's a tricky one!”

“Did he say what he was going to do here, by the way?”

I put my webbed hand on my mouth, tongue sticking out, and pondered.

“Said something about devouring his brother, but that could be anybody. You know how he is with calling everyone his sibling.”

“Right. Then he plans to devour Euphoria as well.”

Gumby let out a deep barrel of a laugh.

“Never did I imagine that Marco and I would end up opposing each other, but it looks like we still share the same goal after all.

I licked my nostril.

“POLO-YOLO! What's the plan now?”

Gumby placed his mask back on his face. “If we can find Euphoria before Marco, we can achieve happiness and create a paradise where everyone is a frog person.”

“Sounds good, YO!”

“I just wonder what it is Marco would want with Euphoria...”

“To experience happiness, YO! DUH!”

Before we could continue our talk of my 'brother' and his zany schemes, we both heard the thunderous clatter of footsteps. Gumby looked around and my eyes followed his until we both saw a vent in the ceiling. Gumby pointed toward said vent.

“Polo, OUT!” I darted and leaped into the vent, leaving Gumby behind. With so many weapons and explosives sure to appear, I should have been more worried for the guy, but I knew him well enough.

“Contact the World Wildlife Foundation as soon as you get the chance,” Gumby instructed. “Let them know of Marco's betrayal.”

“We are Lilypad: A Nonprofit Organization who seeks to enrich the lives of amphibians across the globe. Gay rights. Trans rights. Peace on Earth.”

The words flashed on my screen as I watched, wishing I had a cup of coffee.

“Dr. Tolstoy, what do you make of this?”

“I think it should go away soon. Our systems are good at clearing these kinds of things. This little 'Lilypad' group is just a distraction.”

“I agree, Dr. Tolstoy. By now, our base should have been recovered and our faculty remade. Such a glorious thing to behold, I simply cannot wait!”

“Ah, Dr. Chekhov, I wonder if Sgt. Michaels has a thicker mustache now.”

I knew there was no Dr. Tolstoy, but I needed someone to bounce ideas off of.

“Not just our previous faculty, but a couple more as well. Even a member of 'Lilypad' will soon be one of us. Won't it be lovely to have a toad in our employ?”

“Quite! By the way, Dr. Chekhov, I think we ought to check in on the outside world. Particularly the city where the first ETNAvator was installed.”

I did just what Dr. Tolstoy asked of me and switched one of my monitors to display said city. Sights of destruction glared at the screen as buildings burned, crumbled, and citizens crashing every which way.

“Oh my. Wonder what could have happened here.”

I zoomed in on some of the citizens, who were ranting and raving about how they were so happy meanwhile doing such self-destructive acts like swinging from telephone poles. Police officers were running around, shooting others without discretion, announcing how happy they were to murder without impunity.

“Looks like there has been a flaw in the system,” I mentioned.

“Yes, Dr. Chekhov. We knew of the possibility of error when the elevators were introduced.”

“Yes, Dr. Tolstoy. Although only a .01% chance of this occurring, here it is. Everyone feeling the effects of Euphoria to such a degree.”

In spite of the pandemonium, there was little cause for concern.

“Soon this will spread,” I mentioned. “If something doesn't get done, Etna might soon find herself out of a job.”

“That's the problem when you let a string of code run a department; who takes the blame?

Laughter erupted from the room.

“Ah, but we should be fine! The underground facility is protected from the effects of ETNA's machinations so long as none of the copies comes into contact with those working below.”

I looked back at the devastation that was the city. If such a thing could happen there and spreads, it was only a matter of time before the faculty of the base also started feeling such things. Knowing what we were dealing with, the effects could take hold any moment.

“As soon as we execute Velvet and Mavis, all will be better,” I reclined in my chair, telling myself those words. I turned to the empty chair beside me. “So what if everyone ends up killing themselves? If we can recreate our faculty, who's to say we can't recreate entire populations? All we have to do is take the time to make sure these new folks don't overload themselves.”

Yes, all would be well. Maybe a little chaos for now, but perfection wasn't built overnight. All would be accounted for. That I could still remind myself of that simple fact left a smile on my face.

#happiness overload #jeez this took me like two months #im so sorry #also I havent done much proofreading so this post may be edited several times #scifi #comedy #dark #writing #fiction #still posting these chapters to tumblr until I make a wordpress even tho I know tumblr is shit now #oh well

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