#he is still hurt but he finds ways to feel happiness too
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“F IS FOR FLIRTING” BI-HAN X COMEDIC RELIEF FEM!READER
SUMMARY : Bi-Han is aware of your crush on him but decides to spar with you
A/N : not proof read. Just wanted to post something. Let me know what I should do next
Bi-Han absolutely could not wrap his head around the idea of you having a crush on him.
He wasn’t stupid. He knew you had a crush on him. The way you spoke to him, the things you said under your breath, your actions. They all pointed to you having feelings for him.
And he wasn’t happy about it one bit.
This time, you had baked him fresh chocolate chip cookies. You walked over to him where Kuai Liang and Tomas were.
“Hi, Bi-Han.”
Bi-Han didn’t look up to meet your eyes. He continued to put his wraps on his hands. “Hello, (Y/N).” He said with zero emotion.
“I baked some cookies for you.” You held out your hands for him to take the cookies.
“I don’t eat sweets.”
“Oh…”
Bi-Han heard someone clear his throat. He looked over and saw Kuai Liang motion for him to take them. He rolled his eyes slightly before taking the cookies away from you. “Fine. I’ll take them.”
You smiled at him. “I was wondering if you could help me and spar with me.”
Bi-Han sets the cookies aside and almost laughs at you. “I do not spar with female warriors.”
Before you could say something, Kuai Liang spoke. “But he does today.”
Bi-Han gave Kuai Liang a death stare before ultimately sighing and standing up straight. “Fine.” He walks over to the center a little and you follow him. He gets into his fighting stance. “Just don’t be surprised when-“
You didn’t even let him finish. You immediately kicked him in his stomach. He didn’t have the chance to block it. Then you spun around and kicked him in the face, causing him to fall to the ground.
Bi-Han fell to the ground and grunted a little. He was surprised. Even if you did take him by surprise, usually he would be able to block it with the second hit.
“Sorry.” You held out your hand to help him up.
Bi-Han stared at your hand for a moment before taking it. You helped him up. “How did you do that?”
You giggled slightly. “Do you think Liu Kang chose me as champion for show?”
Bi-Han squinted, irritated by your comment but got back into fighting stance. “I’m not going easy on you.”
“I definitely don’t want you too.”
Bi-Han went to hit you but you blocked it with ease. He went to kick at your legs but you grabbed his leg and threw him off of you.
He went to punch your gut and you blocked it. You spun around and slapped him across the face with your hand.
Bi-Han felt his face. For the first time he had ever fought a woman, the hit hurt.
He saw you smile so innocently. And he didn’t understand how he was starting to find you attractive.
From the way you could keep up with him and how cute you looked when you did it. He never even noticed how good you looked until now.
Bi-Han straightened himself up a little. The two of you were walking in circles, eyeing another.
“I’m beating you with no magic. How does it feel frosty?” You questioned him but it was all playful.
Bi-Han was still in amazement that not even your snarky comment irritated him. “Don’t get full of yourself.”
“Don’t be grumpy. Be better.”
Your confidence was even more attractive and he couldn’t help but notice how you carried yourself.
This entire time you had been vulnerable of your crush, not caring if he had reciprocated his feelings for you. You said and did everything with the utmost confidence and he found it incredibly sexy.
He was starting to see why his brother was pushing him to you.
The two of you stood facing eye to eye. You stared down at each other, waiting for the other to make the first move.
You pointed behind him. “Hey! Look over there!”
Bi-Han gave you a look. “Do you really believe I’m falling for that?”
You shrugged. “Worth a shot.”
You went to hit him and Bi-Han blocked it. You tried to use your other hand to hit him but he grabbed onto your arm.
He kicked you in the stomach and you hissed in pain. He went to kick at you again but you dodged it.
Being off his guard, you kicked him in the back. He stumbled onto the ground. You tried to stomp on him but he moved quick.
He swept your feet which made you fall to the ground. He got on top of you and made his hand ice cold. “Concede?”
You laughed in his face. “Jokes on you but I’m into this.”
“Really?”
“Yup.”
Bi-Han pressed his hand on your stomach and you instantly felt cold. Your entire body was shaking. You couldn’t move as he had you pinned down.
He was waiting for your surrender but you didn’t let up. He tilted his head at you. Then placed his hand harder on you. Your skin was turning blue. “You know I only have one more setting before you freeze to death right?”
You hugged, shivering to your core. “Fine. I concede. Or whatever.”
When Bi-Han pulled away from you, you instantly felt the cold go away.
He stood up from the ground and held his hand for you to take. “Not bad.” He said. “But you couldn’t beat me.”
You shrugged at his statement. “Who said I planned to beat you?” You dusted yourself off. “And I did pretty good since you cheated and used your magic.”
Bi-Han laughed. “There are no rules to kombat.”
“Yeah, yeah.” You waved him off and went to walk away.
Bi-Han stopped you. He grabbed your arm and pulled you close to him. Maybe even too close for talking distance. It shocked you a little.
Then he said something even more shocking.
“Same time tomorrow?”
The question brought an instant smile to your face. You started to giggle and nod. Bi-Han tilted his head at you, questioningly. Were you this noticeable with your crush on previous men?
He let go of your arm. Then you did something that shocked him.
You gave him a kiss on the cheek which made his eyes widen. “See ya!” You waved over to Kuai Liang. “By Kuai!”
Kuai Liang waved back at you and watched you leave. When you were gone, he smirked over to Bi-Han.
Bi-Han noticed his facial expression and shook his head. “Don’t.”
“I didn’t say anything.”
“You were thinking it though.”
Over the span of a couple of weeks, you and Bi-Han had grown closer. So close to the point he didn’t mind your longing stares or even you hugging him, and he did not let anyone hug him.
You were an excellent fighter. Bi-Han saw that and furthermore, respected you.
The two of you continued to up the stakes with every fight but it was this time that Bi-Han was unsure.
“We’re not doing this, (Y/N).”
You rolled your eyes at the Grandmasters overdramatize vision. “Come on.” You threw him the sword and he caught it. “First one to make the other one bleed, wins.”
Bi-Han watched as you held onto your sword. “This is not a good idea.”
“Aw. Worried you’ll be bleeding? I’ll go easy.”
“It is not me that is worried. I have never seen you train with a weapon, much less a sword.”
“You would be correct!” You confirmed. “I haven’t! But it’s good to practice now isn’t it? And I know you’ve been wanting to do this. Stab the only girl that annoys you. I get it! Come on! It will be fun!”
Something about what you said made his heart twitch. You weren’t annoying to him. At least not anymore and he didn’t want to hurt you. He had never wanted to hurt you at all.
You being hurt, especially by the hands of him didn’t sit right with him. “(Y/N)…”
You ignored him and started counting. “Three, two, one, go!”
Bi-Han ducked when you swung your sword at him. He sighed. There was no turning back now.
He jumped back when you swung again. To the left and to the right. He then crouched down to sweep your feet. Making you fall.
You groan at the impact. He shook his head at you. “You’re not fighting. You’re just swinging the sword.” He told you.
You got up quickly. “Isn’t that the whole point?”
“No. It is not. See. This is why-“ he couldn’t finish his sentence. You began to swing your sword again and he ducked.
You went to jab at his arm but he used his sword to block it and threw you away from him.
You spun around and took a jab at him gain but he blocked it with the sword once more. The two of you stood in that position. “You’re not even trying!” You tell him. “Don’t be a loser.”
He rolled his eyes at you. He kicked you in the stomach. Then took a jab at you.
This jab though actually got you.
You weren’t blocking and his sword stuck in your right arm. His eyes widened and he quickly pulled it out and threw it to the ground.
You started to fall on your knees but he caught you. “You won.” You said through out the pain.
Bi-Han ripped off a piece of his shirt before then tying it to your arm. “I told you this wasn’t a good idea.”
You’ve never seen Bi-Han so worried before but you could understand why. It was a minor wound. You would be fine.
The two of you were inside, where he resided at. He was constantly hovering over you. Making sure you were alright.
Just to get some peace of mind, you decided to take a shower.
His head was spinning. Bi-Han couldn’t understand it. How he was actually worried for you. That the feeling on his chest made his blood pressure go up. He couldn’t explain what he was actually feeling.
All he knew was that he felt guilt. And that did not happen so frequently.
He was the Grandmaster of his clan. How could he feel guilt for something so simple yet so important to him?
As he was consumed by his own thoughts, he heard the shower go off. Then he heard footsteps that came from the entrance to his room so he looked up.
When he did, he saw you. In nothing but a towel. You clutched the towel close to your body and he noticed that water dripped from your head and down to your legs.
You washed all the makeup that was on your face which made you look vulnerable. But Bi-Han thought you were beautiful.
That’s when it clicked for him. He almost sighed out in reality. Just wondering how the hell did he fall for you, Liu Kang’s champion. How he fell for you, the girl who didn’t take anything serious in her life while he took everything serious.
How did this happen?
“You got a shirt I can borrow?”
Bi-Han was surprised you didn’t notice his staring. He was making it pretty obvious that he was checking you out and in a manner that he didn’t care to be found out in.
He grabbed a shirt from his dresser and handed it to you. You took it, waving finger guns at him before walking out of the room.
Bi-Han could not understand how he fell in love with you of all people.
He shook his head and sat on the edge of the bed. “Liu Kang is going to be mad about the wound.”
“Since when did you care about what he thought?” You called out from the bathroom.
“I don’t…I’m just saying. You’re impulsive.”
You scoffed, coming back in the room with only the shirt he gave you and your underwear on. “And you’re not? You’re not exactly a world class thinker, frosty.”
Bi-Han rolled his eyes at the nickname. He stood up from the bed to take step towards you. “Better than you. I told you it was dangerous.”
“We fight in Mortal Kombat tournaments to Lee the realms at balance. Anything is dangerous.” You said.
“It’s one thing to do something dangerous because you’re supposed to. It’s another when you intentionally be reckless.”
At that comment, you couldn’t understand why Bi-Han was acting like this. He was the last person to worry about safety. “Are you okay? What’s going on with you? You’ve never cared this much about anything so minor before.”
Bi-Han sighed. He rested his hand on his forehead. He did not look at you. “Do not make me say it.”
It took you a minute to understand the situation. It was at that moment you smiled. You let out a gasp and pointed to him. “Oh my god! You have a crush on me?” You then straightened yourself out, boosting your ego. “I mean, I knew you would.”
Bi-Han could not take any more of your talking. He grabbed you by the waist and pulled you towards him before kissing you.
Never would he think he’d feel this way about you.
#mortal kombat#mortal kombat x reader#mortal kombat 1#mk#mk x reader#bi han mortal kombat#mk bi han#sub zero x reader#mk sub zero#liu kang#kuai liang
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Hiii I saw ur Scar hcs, and the TD Hybird part really piqued My interest. If Reader (gender-neutral), agreed to it, how would Scar react to it! And also Maybe, if it’s painful (because it probably is, considering it’s like shoving a whole New Lifeforce into your body) would He feel sorry for Reader? (I would feel sorry for myself if it Hurt 💀)
✧˖° scar's reaction to you agreeing to merge with a tacet discord. | scar headcanons.
⋆ ˚☁️ ⁀➴ synopsis: after some thought, you agreed to merge a tacet discord with your body just like your lover scar has kept asking you to do! how does he react, and what's the process like?
⋆ ˚☁️ ⁀➴ characters involved: scar, gender neutral reader.
⋆ ˚☁️ ⁀➴ warnings: none! no serious details of the transformation process, but if it's too much let me know and i'll change the warnings!
⋆ ˚☁️ ⁀➴ notes: hi hi pretty anon!! thank you for sending this wonderful ask in!! had me wondering for a long while how exactly scar shoved that whole other being into himself LOL!! (~ ~)" hope you enjoy this! requests are open as always! ദ്ദി(˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧
ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅ scar ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅
when you first come to him with the idea, he’ll blink once. then twice. then a third time.
did he hear you right?
he’d at first be shocked that you’d agree
he’s used to asking many people to join the organization and insert a tacet discord into themselves just to be met with rejection time and time again. it's a normal part of his job.
but for you to agree? and it being his lover nonetheless!
scar is over the moon, so happy that you’re aligning with his ideals! he knew you’d come around!
he’d immediately begin talking energetically to you about the side effects that he experiences, and what it’s like being able to transform and merge your body with a whole new life form.
it takes a lot of preparation for you two to be ready for this event, and when you’re all set up and ready to go, he’s the one that flicks the switch to begin the transformation.
sparks fly, and a bright white light appears in an instant, almost like lighting.
and he knows it’s a part of a process, and he knows what it’s like to be in there.
heck, he’s kind of got a manic happy expression seeing how successful the process of putting the tacet discord into you is going.
but can’t help how a small part of him feels his heart drop as he hears you scream, hears the way you’re in pain, sees the way that you’re in tears because of how painful it is.
watching you, his lover, get ripped apart in real time, and then getting pieced back together, hurts a part of him he didn’t expect to feel.
he almost wants to turn it off, to go back, but that in itself is risky. if he stops it now, he’ll be threatening you with being seriously injured or worse, dead.
so he lets the process finish, basking in your glory and shoving down his worries before it finishes with a halt.
some smoke appears, but when it settles, there you are.
you most likely have some new scars now or other physical changes due to the process, but he still finds you just as beautiful as you were before.
he’ll quickly rush to your side and for the next week or so, he’s stuck to your side. his eyes are always on you, and he’s essentially nursing you back to health.
you will be doted on to the fullest extent, and he’s suddenly the best house husband in the world.
he keeps telling you during this time how excited he is for you, how much of a stronger duo you two will be together, and how he’ll train you to be the best of the best just like he is.
but on the first night that he’s taking care of you, he’ll have his back towards you, sitting on the edge of the bed as you lay down. his tone gets softer, a little out of character for how usually smooth and charismatic he can be. after some silence, he breaks it.
“thank you for doing this for me. for a while, it felt as if this side of me was something i couldn't explain to you, but now, you truly are able to understand me for who i am. i will guide you through this new journey, and i will love you with all i can.”
probably also kisses the back of your hand after he says this KICKING MY FEET AND GIGGLING-
#the epitome of the “pissing all by yourself handsome?~” meme during the week of helping you heal#will not leave you alone#wuwa#wuthering waves#wuthering waves x reader#wuwa x reader#wuwa headcanons#wuthering waves headcanons#wuthering waves scar#wuwa scar#scar#wuthering waves scar headcanons#wuwa scar headcanons#scar x reader#wuwa scar x reader#wuthering waves scar x reader#qi writes
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... Can I request something///
The Kings *especially Satan and Lucifer* discovers today is your birthday! How would they react?
♡》 The King Finding Out Your Birthday At The Last Minute :0
┊ ➶ ｡˚ ° Aww! Mah birthday is a week later! Could this be a ⛥sign⛥of⛥destiny⛥? :0 Can I get and "aye!" on the comments?? ♡
»»-----------►
Satan
Whether he is the first or the next to find out it's your birthday, he would be angry, yes, but he will also be happy and excitement will lighten in his eyes.
Satan would be angry because he could have made plans earlier but now he's all over the place;;;
Or so you thought… you thought he worries that he won't be able to celebrate it but on contrary…
This reached Sitri’s ears and Ppyong who told it to other nobles who told it to their subjects who told it to their family who told it to their children who told it to their friends who told it to their pets—
And the whole Gehenna started celebrating!
They don't have a feast like in Avisos. Or mountains of luxury like Tartaros. Their streets aren't as beautiful as Hades’ due constant construction of damage caused by attacks but be certain that the people of Gehenna will make you feel at home!
In fact, Satan is more worried that uncontrollable things will happen during the celebration;; demons of Gehenna are very open afterall!
If you don't like crowded places, Satan would be by your side as you both watch the others.
They'll understand but it won't stop them from celebrating!
It's like a festival… like??? Did they just add your birthday as a festivity in Hell’s Calendar??? Yes. They marked Solomon’s Birthday, they'll mark yours too!
The event will last for days. You don't have to expect to participate in them all by the way.
The next time, expect a normal birthday!
I headcanon that demons have birthday celebrations longer than humans. Maybe an eve-day, birthday and day after celebration? They start preparing a month earlier! ^u^)
Even if Satan likes seeing Gehenna so lively, he still has to make it up for you with the list of plans he just made~
He will drag you here and there like it's a date~!
Yeah, even if it's last moment he'll make sure you'll have fun throughout the day~ >uÓ)
Mammon
He would be hurt that he only found last minute
You're his master! He wants to spoil you AND he will spoil you!
But he accepts it as a challenge. In fact, he was already thinking about it and already has plans a, b, c,.....
He can start right at the spot with a snap of a finger!
Or… he will make this chance as a day to spend with you :3
He'll accompany you to various places where you'll get spa, massage, hairdo, nice and all dressed up, dates~
A date on the boat~ Except the boat is a ship and you're in one of Tartaros’ biggest golden lake.
At midnight, you thought he'd be treating you for a dinner until you arrive at the palace extravagantly decorated~
High-glasses of champagne. Tall-golden-chocolate fountain to dip the sweets, a feast for every invited. Waltzing~
A mountain of gifts too! I headcanon most Tartaros’ demons have the tendency to buy objects that remind them of those they care about so at your birthday they have already accumulated many gifts for you!
It's a ball just for you~
Owwie, you can't dance? Don't worry. You can just sit on Mammon’s lap while he sits on the throne where the demons can be blessed of your presence uwu)
Leviathan
He wants to hang and make you to be the piñata for your birthday.
He will feel offended as if it's his birthday you have forgotten.
If he finds it through another demon: instant hang. Good. Two piñatas.
Don't expect to spend the day with someone else and cancel what you planned that day.
He is like Mammon. He will take you to places but you'll feel like walking with a ticking bomb who will go off if you don't choose what you like asap.
His eyes are sharp and attentive at your movements.
Even when he took you to dinner.
Will ask if the food is of your liking while he hasn't touched his food yet.
He is a perfectionist and will glare at anyone who dares to ruin this day and if it doesn't go perfectly even if it's on the last minute.
Man… he is trying, okay? :”)
He doesn't know how humans celebrate their birthdays so he wanted to find what makes you more comfortable but failing at it.
Please, notice it. He is trying his best TTuTT)
Beelzebub
Ahah, is there something you can hide from this man?
You'll be the one shocked because he comes in, sweeps you off your feet and now you're on a date.
It's just a matter of time before Bael and the nobles find out about this.
Would be on guard since it's a date but it's also your birthday so they couldn't help but to congratulate you.
Normally, Avisos would celebrate it. More like a parade or something but no one knows so it wouldn't hurt just for now to celebrate your birthday in a small group, right? ^u^)
They'll take you to Avisos’ most popular places to have fun!
Please, I hope you realize what kind of places are you going as quick as possible because it can be quite a… culture shock ( ㅍ÷ㅍ);;;
Lucifer
Found it through Gamigin and Jjok who are preparing you a gift and ruined the kitchen for trying to prepare you a cake;;;
The child of Solomon's birthday?
Consider him very curious about how you'll spend your day. Do you have someone else to celebrate it with? What will you be doing?
He concluded to just see it himself. It's easier than wondering about it.
He would be stopped by the young dragon and red lump because… why come to a birthday without a gift? Now he must ponder about getting a gift for you but he doesn't know you very well…
A gift? Like an offering? Now he is pondering what kind of offering he must give you... maybe himself?
Lol say sike lololol
Will give you a bouquet of flowers first as congratulations and to test the water!
It is canon that he made a bouquet of flowers he tended himself for his seraphim brothers and are knowledgeable of their meaning~
If you recognize the meaning of the flower(s) he gave to you he'd be twice as proud ♡
Lucifer will make his mission to stay with you throughout the day and make sure you'll enjoy it >u0)9
If you get tired or do not want to do anything big in particular maybe you and the nobles can have a tea and pastries in his garden later? ♡
»»———- ———-«
AuthorNote: Thanks for the ask~ Ngl, this helps me see how I percieve the characters. I guess I have more trouble writing Leviathan but I have fun imagining what a character like him would do. What a particular dude lol.
#what in hell is bad#what in “hell” is bad?#whb kings#whb satan#whb mammon#whb leviathan#whb beelzebub#whb lucifer#.sweeteaa writes#.sweeteaa answer
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Title: The uncertain future
note: im sorry if i hurt anyone.... believe i cried while writing this too.... i wanted happy ending but.....yea..dont hate me pleas.
Summary: As the sister of Lewis Hamilton, you watched the friendship between him and Nico Rosberg flourish and then crumble. Your heart, however, has always belonged to Nico. Now, with old wounds reopened and hidden feelings exposed, you find yourself torn between the love of your life and the brother you adore. In this tragic love story, you must make a heart-wrenching decision that will change everything.
Warnings: Angst, emotional conflict, family tension, panic attack
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The sound of engines roaring in the distance was a constant reminder of the world you lived in. The world where your brother, Lewis Hamilton, was a star, and where your heart had silently but steadfastly clung to Nico Rosberg.
You were standing at the edge of the paddock, watching as Lewis and Nico avoided each other, the tension between them palpable. It had been years since their friendship had broken down, and yet the pain was still fresh. You could see it in Lewis’s eyes whenever Nico’s name was mentioned, and you could feel it in the pit of your stomach whenever you saw Nico.
It wasn’t supposed to be like this. The three of you had grown up together, sharing dreams and ambitions. But as Lewis and Nico’s rivalry intensified, so did the cracks in their friendship. You were caught in the middle, torn between the love for your brother and the hidden feelings you harbored for Nico.
Nico spotted you and walked over, his eyes softening as they met yours. “Hey, can we talk?” he asked quietly, his voice a blend of hope and hesitation.
You nodded, your heart pounding. “Sure, let’s go somewhere private.”
The two of you found a quiet corner away from the prying eyes of the media and the team. Nico took a deep breath, running a hand through his hair. “I can’t keep this to myself anymore. I know it’s complicated with Lewis and everything, but… I’ve been in love with you for as long as I can remember.”
Your breath caught in your throat. “Nico, I… I’ve felt the same way. But Lewis… he’ll never accept it.”
Nico reached out, taking your hands in his. “I know it’s not fair to ask you to choose, but I can’t pretend anymore. I need to know if there’s a chance for us, despite everything.”
Tears welled up in your eyes as you looked into his. “I want to be with you, Nico. But I don’t want to hurt Lewis. He’s my brother, and he’s already lost so much.”
“Then what do we do?” Nico’s voice was barely a whisper, his eyes searching yours for an answer.
“I don’t know,” you admitted, your voice breaking. “I don’t know how.....how to choose between you two.”
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The next few days were a blur of races, press conferences, and strained conversations. You avoided Lewis, knowing that your face would betray the turmoil inside you. But you couldn’t avoid him forever.
One evening, Lewis cornered you in your hotel room, his expression a mixture of confusion and hurt. “What’s going on with you and Nico?” he demanded, his voice tight with emotion.
You sighed, feeling the weight of the secret you had been carrying. “Lewis, I didn’t want to tell you because I knew it would hurt you. But… I’m in love with him. I have been for a long time.”
Lewis’s eyes widened, and he took a step back, as if physically struck by your words. “You’re in love with Nico? After everything he’s done?”
“It’s not that simple,” you pleaded, tears streaming down your face. “I love him, but I love you too. I don’t want to lose either of you.”
Lewis shook his head, his expression hardening. “You have to choose, [your name]. You can’t have both. If you’re with him, you’re betraying me.”
Your heart shattered at his words, the decision you had been dreading now laid bare before you. “Lewis, please don’t make me do this.”
“I’m sorry, but you have to,” he insisted, his voice cold and final. “It’s him or me.”
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That night, you met Nico in the hotel lobby, your heart heavy with the decision you had made. He looked at you, hope and fear mingling in his eyes. “What did he say?”
You took a deep breath, the words tasting bitter on your tongue. “He said I have to choose. And I.....I choose him, Nico. I’m..... I’m so sorry.”
Nico’s face crumpled, and he pulled you into a tight embrace. “I understand. I always knew it might come to this. I just… I wish things were different.”
You clung to him, the tears flowing freely now. “So do I. More than anything.”
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The days that followed were a blur of pain and heartache. You watched as Nico moved on, his eyes losing some of their spark. Lewis, too, seemed more distant, a part of him closed off forever.
You had made your choice, but the cost was more than you could bear. In choosing your brother, you had lost the love of your life. And in losing Nico, you had lost a part of yourself.
As you stood alone at the edge of the paddock, the roar of the engines a distant echo, you couldn’t help but wonder if you had made the right choice. But some choices, once made, can never be undone.
One particularly grueling day, the weight of your decision bore down on you more heavily than usual. Every interaction felt hollow, every laugh forced. You felt like a ghost of yourself, drifting through life without purpose. The pressure built until you could no longer hold it back.
You were in the paddock, surrounded by the familiar noise and chaos of race day, when the panic attack hit. Your chest tightened, and it felt like you couldn’t breathe. The world spun around you, and your vision blurred. You stumbled, clutching at your chest as you tried to draw in a breath, but it felt like your lungs were being squeezed by an iron fist.
Lewis was the first to notice. He rushed to your side, his face etched with worry. “[your name], what’s wrong? Talk to me!”
You couldn’t speak. All you could do was shake your head, tears streaming down your face as you fought for air. Lewis wrapped his arms around you, his voice a soothing murmur in your ear. “It’s okay. Just breathe. I’m here.”
Gradually, the world came back into focus, and you managed to draw in a shaky breath. But the relief was short-lived. The emotional dam broke, and you snapped.
“This is all your fault!” you screamed, pushing Lewis away. “You....you made me choose! You made me give up the love of my life!”
Lewis’s face fell, hurt and confusion mixing in his eyes. “[ your name], I didn’t want to hurt you. I thought I was protecting you.”
“Protecting me?” you spat, the anger boiling over. “You tore my heart in two! You made me choose between you and Nico, and now I’m broken. I can’t....I can’t live like this anymore, Lewis. I can’t live without him.”
Lewis’s expression crumpled, and he reached out to you, but you stepped back. “I need to fix this. I need to be with Nico.”
Before he could respond, you turned and fled, your heart pounding as you made your way to Nico’s home. Every step felt like a race against time, a desperate bid to reclaim the happiness you had lost.
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When you arrived at Nico’s door, you hesitated, your hand hovering over the doorbell. What if it was too late? What if he had moved on, leaving you behind in the wreckage of your choices?
But you had to try. Taking a deep breath, you rang the bell.
After a few moments, the door opened. But it wasn’t Nico who stood before you. It was a woman, her expression one of polite curiosity. “Can I help you?”
Your heart plummeted. “I… I’m looking for Nico. Is he here?”
The woman hesitated, glancing over her shoulder before looking back at you. “He’s not here right now. Can I tell him who’s asking?”
You swallowed hard, fighting back the tears. “Just… tell him [your name] stopped by.”
She nodded, offering a sympathetic smile. “I’ll let him know.”
As the door closed, you stood there, feeling the weight of the world crashing down on you. It was too late. Nico had moved on, and you were left standing on the doorstep of what could have been.
----------------------
The drive back was a blur. You felt numb, the pain of your decision and the realization of its consequences settling like a leaden weight in your chest. When you arrived at your hotel, Lewis was waiting for you, his expression a mixture of concern and guilt.
“Did you find him?” he asked quietly.
You shook your head, unable to meet his eyes. “He’s not there. He’s with someone else now.”
Lewis stepped closer, his hand resting gently on your shoulder. “I’m so sorry, darling. I never wanted to hurt you.”
Tears spilled down your cheeks as you finally looked at him. “But you did, Lewis. And now I’ve lost everything...”
He pulled you into a hug, holding you tightly as you sobbed into his chest. “We’ll get through this. I promise.”
But as you clung to him, the void inside you remained. The love you had lost, the life you had given up, all of it weighed heavily on your heart.
#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#f1 fanfic#f1 fic#fanfic#lewis hamilton#lewis hamilton x reader#sir lewis hamilton#nico rosberg#nico rosberg x reader#nico rosberg x you#lewis hamilton imagine#lewis hamilton x you#lewis hamilton fanfic#brocedes#brocedes fic
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buddie + a kiss on the back of the neck. (bonus points for kitchen scenes, my beloved)
from this prompt list. also for the anon who requested buddie + a romantic kiss, although i may well write a separate one for that too!
AN ~ fluff. shameless, embarassing fluff.
-
Eddie has dreamed of mornings like this. Literally. The only thing missing is the blurry-edged filter his mind tends to supply – although, his sleep-addled eyes are doing their best imitation. He wakes to the sweet smell of pancakes and maple syrup and salty bacon and scrambled eggs and his stomach growls.
He pinches himself on the back of the hand. Shakes it out. Yep, unless his brain has trained in covert operations while he wasn't looking, he's no longer dreaming. So he pads out into the kitchen feeling soft and sleepy and vulnerable and wonders how quietly he can deposit himself at the tiny dining table. Could he make it to the coffee machine and back without causing a disturbance?
It doesn't matter. He lingers instead, and gets caught up in watching. Buck is currently in an argument with a pancake, cursing as the acrid smell of burning hits his nostrils and forces him to turn on the rattling range-hood fan. Eddie's eyes trace his dance backward and forward; the way his shoulders hunch as he tries his best to salvage it, muttering threats and condolences in equal measure as he scrapes it free and evacuates it to the plate.
Eddie moves closer, because he can now, and he wraps his arms around Buck's hips.
Buck just frowns down at his work.
“You need a new stove,” he grumbles. “A new fry pan, at the very least.”
“A poor workman blames his tools, Buck.” Eddie presses a kiss to the back of Buck's neck, and another to the spot where it meets his shoulder. It still kind of surprises him, how naturally this comes to him. He's been waiting for someone to kiss in the kitchen his entire goddamned life. And he smells like pancakes.
“I- I have become accustomed to a certain lifestyle,” Buck attempts to explain. “A certain standard of cookware- What are you-”
Eddie pulls away to pick up the burnt pancake and take a bite. Buck looks appalled. Eddie looks him in the eyes.
“Delicious,” he mumbles, beaming around the mouthful of it, “burnt and all. But you already knew that.”
Buck could just about melt. It's not fair how romantically Eddie speaks sometimes, let alone how fluffy his hair is in the morning, and how much of it he's been blessed to see lately. Or how much he really, really wants to kiss the crumbs off his lips all of a sudden. And so, he does, and he finds that even his morning breath isn't too bad, drenched in batter and syrup and a sizeable dose of how lucky am I?
Eddie looks at him a little bit swoony afterwards with those big brown baby-cow eyes, and Buck wonders how on Earth the two of them ever got anything done.
“You know,” Eddie offers. “We should finish unpacking your kitchen stuff, since mine is suddenly so terrible. Christopher will be back from camp tonight and expecting your finest.”
“Mm. Tough critic, that kid.”
“I dunno. I think you've got a shoe in.”
“Printed a reference from my landlord, just in case.”
“Buck.” Eddie rolls his eyes, and he's so deeply in love his chest actually hurts. “Be serious. He's going to be so happy.”
“He'll probably call us both idiots.”
“Yeah, well.” Buck kisses him one more time, and wonders how he hasn't been doing this for years. “When he's right, he's right.”
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Request for Anon!
Hellooo lovely people! Sorry to keep you waiting, literally all year, but I'm back! I had a lot of fun with these because I've been in such a big Maji' mood <3 hope y'all enjoy!
Romantic Majima HCs ♡
WARNINGS/NOTES: NSFW under the cut, gender neutral reader w AFAB anatomy, Y1+ Maji' in mind but some hcs can still work for Y0 :3
REQUEST STATUS: Open!
REQUESTS LEFT: 3!
SFW
• Loves claw games, will win everything in the machine for you if you ask. On second thought, Majima would do ANYTHING for you if you asked
• Doesn't matter how long you've been together, Majima will always be flirting with you. He'll always finding something about you to compliment and makes extra sure that you know you're loved by him <3
• Plans the most sporadic dates. Always jumping the question when you least expect it. He found this neat looking sushi place a couple blocks from your place, what about dinner at 8? Tonight? Of course, tonight! He saw some kids eating some ice cream just now and it sounded perfect! You're not busy, right? Let's go!
• If you've got a job with the public, you know he's skipping out on his duties to come visit you. You work in retail, he's holding up the line to flirt and swoon over you. Your boss hates him
• He can't let anyone know that he's the biggest sap over his s/o. You've got him wrapped around your finger, Majima isn't sure if he enjoys it or not.
• Favorite moments are early in the morning, when you both first wake up. It's so domestic. Loves getting to cook breakfast with you, holding you close from behind and smooching you up <3 his kisses taste like coffee
• Plays into the "Mad Dog" nickname a lot, calling himself your "guard dog" and being positively feral and the slightest bit protective over you.
• Loves to bite. Anywhere. He'll leave marks, and end up maybe getting punished because he left a big ass hickey where clothes don't cover it
• Loves loves LOVES to cuddle. His favorite place to rest his head is your chest. Or your thighs, he ain't picky. He could cuddle you all day if you'd let him, especially after a bad day at work. Your fingers in his hair is an absolute dream
• Sings in the shower
• Has a notebook of important dates that he always keeps on him, so he doesn't forget them! Some dates include your birthday, and your anniversary of course!
• Turns into a big baby when allergies kick in. Now he's got you around, he begs you to take care of him. Let him bundle up in your bed, feed him some warm soup, massage his jaw when it starts to ache, won't you? You just love him so much, right~?
NSFW
• Okayyyyy.... Maybe it's a little indulgent... But he'd be so down to try pet play. Probably prefers calling you his little kitty/puppy, but it feels pretty damn good the other way around, too
• As much as it hurts to say. Look at him. I don't remember seeing a spec of hair on him, minus the facial hair. That mf waxes. Brazilian. And if I am misremembering... It just feels in character, ok
• Loves to see you dress up. Loves to see anyone in a suit or dress, if it's a special occasion he will find some place to drag you to so he can show you one hell of a time. Oh, the risk of getting caught? Just adds to the thrill, doesn't it?
• Switchhhh. Through and through. Can be a big bully, or he can be a big ole masochist. Loves pleasing, loves being pleased. Majima in the bedroom is very 50/50, everyone is happy
• Fav place to cum is. Anywhere on you. Ass, stomach, face. Will he clean it up... Probably. If you tell him to.
• LISTEN.... He's down for some freaky stuff... If you tell him to lick it up, he just might. He's always been pretty unpredictable, hasn't he?
• Loves rough sex. Nothing better. However he does have his softer spells. Will go easy on you if you ask. But you better beg, he loves listening to that sweet, sweet voice of yours
• All of my faves have voice kinks. Because I said so. Solidarity k 🤝
• Like mentioned he can get pretty cuddly afterwards, but he can still take care of you if you're wiped out. Just get ready for some hugs and a whole lot of smooching
• Okay. Crossdressing. Are you surprised. Making him wear dresses, making you wear something you normally don't.. just something about it
• ALSO. ROLE 👏 PLAY 👏 HE WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND FUCK YOU HARD AS THE HANYAMAN. AS A POLICE OFFICER. GOROMI... WHOEVER. OK
#yakuza#yakuza x reader#majima goro#goro majima#majima x reader#majima goro x reader#yakuza headcanons
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hi !! could i request a annabeth chase x fem reader that’s really angsty, like im thinking that they’re close friends and annabeth is like sure that reader likes percy and so she bottles her feelings up until she can’t hold it anymore and its all hurt/comfort (i have been listening to ttpd too much lately)
“ a greater woman stays cool (but i howl like wolf at the moon) ”
annabeth chase x fem!reader 🦉
a/n kinda short
⋆｡˚୨୧˚｡⋆
When Y/N started hanging around more, Annabeth knew why. It was because of Percy. It had to be. Everyone since the dawn of time has had a crush on Perseus Jackson.
Why wouldn't they? He was handsome, charming, brave, funny, smart- that dumbass was everything someone could want. Most importantly, he was a boy.
When the mornings would come, Annabeth would never admit how she’d watch her friend as she would sit with her siblings at breakfast. The way she would laugh at something they’d say. She would throw her head back, letting her locks of hair fall out of her face, nearly catching the gray eyes in a stare. But Annabeth would quickly turn and fake a conversation.
It was more recently that Annabeth couldn't bare it. When the girl would come around when her and Percy were handing out, she would always find some excuse to leave. Or when she knew y/n would be somewhere, suddenly she was just "too busy." She knew she had to avoid y/n at all costs.
However, it was this day that she found y/n practicing with Percy that killed her. She couldn't look away from the way he had his arms around y/n, showing her how to balance her sword.
Her stomach flipped as the scene unfolded in front of her very eyes. His calloused hands over her smaller ones.
She soon locked eyes with Y/N, who softly smiled in return, “Annabeth!”
The blonde awkwardly waved before rushing off to her cabin. The two others were left confused, y/n speaking, “I’m gonna go check on her.” Percy nodded before she ran after Annabeth, awkwardly bumping into a few other campers on the way.
When she finally reached the Athena cabin, she was happy to find only a few of Annabeth’s siblings were there.
She stopped Malcolm as he began walking out the door, “have you seen Annabeth?’
“Yeah, she just ran into the bathroom,” he explained, pointing to the closed door.
“Thanks,” she waved as he left. She made her way to the white door and softly knocked, “Annabeth, it’s y/n,” she prefaced, “are you okay? I just wanted to check on you.”
Meanwhile, on the other side of the door, Annabeth was staring at her puffy red eyes in the mirror, “one second,” she called, wiping her eyes and fanning herself to look normal.
“You didn't answer my question.”
“I’m fine,” she choked out.
“No, you're… I’m coming in,” y/n responded, turning the doorknob.
Annabeth panicked, trying to get to the door before it opened. But alas, y/n opened the door, finding the mess of the blonde, standing in front of her.
“Beth-”
“Ugh,” Annabeth covered her face with her tissue filled fists, “it’s stupid, it's so stupid.” She stepped back, eventually sitting on top of the closed toilet.
“What happened?” Y/N kneeled at her, “did I do something?”
“No, gods, it’s not your fault.”
She placed her hand on Annabeth’s knee, “are you sure? Because you keep acting weird whenever I’m around you and Percy, was it because of him and I training- oh.”
The blonde nervously looked at the girl on the ground, beginning to lean back. She knew. She had to. She figured her all out.
“You have a crush on Percy, don’t you?”
Nevermind.
“Oh my gods,” she leaned back. “No, no I don't have a crush on Percy.”
“Oh?”
She took a deep breath, “I don't have a crush on Percy, and I’m not mad at you. I just,” she swallowed, “you two training did bother me, but…”
“What?”
“It’s because of you, not Percy,” she snapped.
Y/N tilted her head, standing up, “what?”
“Look,” she stood up as well, walking past the other girl, “I know you have a crush on Percy-”
“Ew, no I don't.”
Annabeth stood still, looking at y/n, “yes you do?”
She laughed, “gods, no, I don’t.”
“You guys are just friends?”
She nodded, “of course, I couldn't have a crush on him.”
“Why not?”
“Same reason you don’t.”
“Oh?”
“Oh.”
Annabeth leaned against the wall, “I’m such an idiot.”
“No, you're not,” y/n stood next to her, “you're wise.”
Annabeth just laughed, “shut up,” she nagged the girl in return.
“You shut up,” y/n nudged her back.
“Shut up.”
“Shut-” with that, Annabeth held her face in her hands to pull her into a kiss.
As they pulled away, y/n spoke again, “okay, I’ll shut up.”
#annabeth chase x reader#annabeth chase x fem!reader#annabeth chase#percy jackson#heroes of olympus#percy jackson and the olympians#annabeth chase x y/n#annabeth chase x you#annabeth chase imagine#annabeth chase headcanon#based on a taylor swift song
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Inej Ghafa parent's fanficiton reccomedations part of Lunar's soc fanficiton rec series
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what a mother was by @cameliawrites
Wordcount: 62k Chapters: 8/8
Characters: Inej Ghafa's Mother, Inej Ghafa's Grandparents, Inej Ghafa's Aunt, Inej Ghafa's Father, Inej Ghafa, Kaz Brekker
Tags: Mother-Daughter Relationship, Motherhood, Family, Romance, Coming of Age, Prequel, Time Skips, Suli Culture & Religion, Canon Compliant, Original Character(s), Canon-Typical violence, Period Typical Racism, Sick Character, Grief/ Mourning, Attempted Sexual Assault, First Love, Implied/ Referenced Homophobia, Eating Disorders, Bittersweet, Angst, Eventual Happy Ending
Author's summary: "She could recount every detail of the day she married Kolhat: the geraniums her sister had embroidered along the sleeves and hem of her dress, one of her father’s old handkerchiefs tucked into her pocket, her mother’s silk veil draped over her hair. She could recall the day she met him, when she was all of twenty years old. Inej was not yet twenty.
Shanta still felt as young as all that, and she felt far older."
. . .
Before she was Inej’s mother, Shanta Ghafa had a mother too.
or: ten years and six suitors in the life of Mama Ghafa.
My summary/notes: A beautiful retrospective of Mama Ghafa's past, the life she has lived, and all she has loved and lost. Camelia is just an amazing writer and every part of this fic was beautfully written. You can feel the grief and joy of Shanta's life and it added levels and depth to her character that I never would've expected. While reading this I couldn't believe that this wasn't canon and its own book. I would kill to read this for the first time again.
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Sankta Margaretha and Other Tales of Sorrow by @oneofthewednesdays
Wordcount: 18k Chapters: 8/8
Characters: Inej Ghafa, Inej Ghafa's Mother, Inej Ghafa's Father, Kaz Brekker, Jesper Fahey, Wylan Van Eck
Tags: Post-Book 2: Crooked Kingdom, Hurt/Comfort, Family, Angst, Implied/ Reference Rape/ Non-con, Canon Typical Violence, Graphic Description of Corpses
Author's summary: When his daughter was stolen from beneath his nose on the outskirts of Os Kervo, Samir Ghafa lost his faith in the saints. After a letter arrives bearing the insignia of the Lantsov double-eagle, he finds his hope rekindled. But when he learns of the demon of Ketterdam, he begins to fear once more…
My summary/ notes: I'm not sure how to write this without directly spoiling it.. but a certain opinion Inej's father has about someone is surprisingly uncommonly found in fics and its so interesting to read how the opinion is formed and how Samir acts because of it. Then consequently how the others act and feel because of Samir's actions. (I was laughing my ass off while writing this so vaguely)
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Ten Minutes in the Life of a Pear by @oneofthewednesdays
Wordcount: 8.9k Chapters: 4/4
Characters: Inej Ghafa, Inej Ghafa's Mother, Inej Ghafa's Father, Kaz Brekker, Asha, Hanzi
Tags: Panic Attacks, Healing, Implied/ Reference Rape/Non-con, Canon backstory, Pre-Canon, Pre-Relationship, Post-Canon
Authors summary: Four glimpses into breakfast, lunch, dinner, and dessert with the Ghafa Family.
My summary/ notes: A heartwarming fic reflecting on the pain and the way relationships both platonic and romantic can develop and grow throughout the different points in life.
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Runs in the family by DopamineAddict
Wordcount: 99k Chapters: 16/18
Characters: Inej Ghafa, Kaz Brekker, Inej Ghafa's Mother, Inej Ghafa's father, Wylan Van Eck, Jesper Fahey. Tante Heleen, Specht, Roeder, Anika
Tags: Revenge, Family Reunions, Canon-Typical violence, Coming of Age, Inej Ghafa needs a hug, Past Rape/ non con, Post-Book 2: Crooked Kingdom, Kaz is scared of Inej's parents he knows hunger for revenge when he sees it, the Ghafa's might be a bit non canon but we only see them from Inej's pov in canon so..
Author's summary: As the Ketterdam harbour grows closer, Priya and Devnand Ghafa steel themselves for the truth of whatever their daughter had been through over the past two years. And for what they might do about it.
My summary/ notes: Priya and Devnand meet their daughter again after years, they learn about her and what's she's been doing, but the other question that will be answered is what have they been up to since Inej has been taken. (This fic is just incredible, it changed how I saw her parents)
#inej ghafa#crooked kingdom#grishaverse#six of crows#soc#kaz brekker#kanej#inej ghafa fanfiction#six of crows fanfic#six of crows fanfiction#kanej fanfic#inej fanfic#kanej fanfiction#soc fanfiction#lunars fanfiction recs#lunars fanfic recs#wylan van eck#jesper fahey
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Sunshine's Shadow - Chapter 2
WordCount: 10k
Ao3
A/N: I didn't realise how much of a slow burn this was. Also, this is unedited for typos and grammatical errors OOPSIES my adhd chaos just NEED TO POST THIS
Having your best friend back was a type of happiness you never knew you could ever experience. Especially after grieving him. There were no words to describe the way you just wanted to cling on to him, scared he would be taken away from you again.
The week went on with the both of you spending almost all of your waking time together. You had burgers during your stakeouts, listened to comedy podcasts, and you even taught Jason how to use your camera. You hadn’t noticed how much you were devoid of laughter until you started spending time with Jason and laughing until your stomach hurt.
There was definitely a pull, and you noticed the looks Jason had given you. You wondered if this was okay. You knew he had a crush on you from before, but you didn’t expect for him to still like you right now. You didn’t want to lead him on. You couldn’t lead him on.
You were with Dick, after all.
You sighed loudly.
“You okay there?” Jason asked from the passenger seat, mouth full of french fries. You couldn’t find much illegal activity from Thorne’s phone, as you suspected, but you did get to know of his accountant. It made sense for Thorne to have a personal accountant to deal with the money flow. Now the both of you were staked out of Mrs. Eriksson’s house.
“Oh- sorry,” you hadn’t noticed that you let your shadow grow. You closed your eyes and reeled the darkness in.
“No, you don’t have to do that,” Jason protested, “We’re staking out in the car at 12 AM. Some darkness would be a great cover.”
He was right. You let yourself go.
“What’s on your mind?” he prodded.
You bit your lip in contemplation. Should you bring it up? Or should you just leave it be? Jason was a smart, grown, adult man. He didn’t need to be told the obvious, right?
What was the obvious anyway? That you didn’t have feelings for him before he died? That wasn’t true. That you got together with Dick in order to replace the emptiness he left? How did you feel about him now, that he was back?
“Dick said you used to have a crush on me,” you said.
“That damned snitch,” Jason cursed.
“To be fair to him, you were dead when he told me,” you assured, “Plus, it’s not like I didn’t know. You know I can read people.”
Jason shifted in his seat. He was wearing a long sleeved gray Henley that did nothing to hide his muscles. Unlike Dick, Jason rarely styled his hair. He let the fringes of his straight dark hair down in front of his eyebrows and would occasionally push his hair back with his fingers.
“Yeah, I know,” he was running his hand at the back of his head, messing up his hair further, “Yeah, I had a crush on you. So what?”
You turned towards him and leaned closer, trying to catch his expression in the dark. You tried his method of intensity, piercing his eyes with yours. “How about now?”
You saw the minute details of his microexpressions. He blinked once, his eyebrows drawn together, his eyes darted to the left and you noticed he clenched his jaw. Finally, he smirked and looked at you again.
“You’re the one who can read people. You tell me.”
You could have said that you noticed the way he tries his best to not reach out and hold your hand, the way his eyes dart from your eyes to your lips from time to time, how he couldn’t stop looking at you, how he licked his bottom lip when you leaned in close. You could have said that all that points to at least some level of attraction, and maybe even more. You could have said that maybe you caught yourself doing those things too.
Instead, you said, “Anna Eriksson’s light switched on.”
You both turned towards the house and waited. Anna Eriksson was a wife and a mother of two. She exited her town house and unlocked her car, her long straight platinum blond hair held high in a ponytail.
“Finally, some action,” Jason said excitedly.
You tailed her dark sedan expertly until it slowly came to a stop beneath a complexity of overpasses in southwest of Old Gotham heading to Tricorner Yards. You drove a few blocks away further down the road and turned into an alley and parked the car. You could still see Eriksson from the zoom lens of your camera.
“I wanna see too,” Jason whined.
“You should have brought binoculars,” you rolled your eyes. “Really, aren’t you all a family of vigilantes? To think you’d be more prepared.”
Eriksson was leaning against her vehicle. Dressed in an all black pants-suit and smoking a cigarette, you thought she looked pretty cool.
“Oh, another car is coming,” you told Jason.
Another black sedan arrived and stopped right in front of Eriksson. You started snapping pictures.
“Who is it?” Jason demanded.
“Fucking hell,” you swore in surprise. The short, bald and overweight man who wore the tophat was known to anyone in Gotham. “It’s fucking Cobblepot.”
“Can’t say I’m surprised,” Jason crossed his arms. “Kinda anti-climactic to be honest. Such a predictive plot.”
You ignored Jason and kept snapping photos. Oswald Cobblepot, the wealthiest criminal of Gotham City wobbled towards Eriksson and passed her a briefcase. Jason was right that it wasn’t surprising because it probably was not Cobblepot’s first play in politics. The exchange itself was brief, where Cobblepot said a few words to Eriksson who was nodding intently. Then, both of them left.
After tailing Eriksson back to her house, you called it a night and drove away.
“I wonder what the deal is,” you pondered out loud.
“Probably if Thorne becomes mayor, he would have Cobblepot’s funding in exchange for immunity in the underground,” Jason answered.
“But why Thorne and not Hill? What does Thorne have that Hill doesn’t?”
“Control over Gotham’s largest shipping company?” Jason offered.
“That may be it. We need more evidence,” you concluded. “Drop you off at yours again?”
Jason was staying in an apartment in East End on Kitt Street. You haven’t been inside, and he has not invited you in. You didn’t ask.
***
“Stake out with Jason again?” Dick’s voice made you jump.
You had just reached home and Dick was still in his Nightwing suit sans the mask.
“Yeah,” you walked over to him, “Found out Cobblepot is sponsoring Thorne.”
“Kinda expected, huh?” he smiled and wrapped his arms around your waist. “We found some blackmarket items at Dixon Docks the other day in Triton shipping containers. You think that’s related?”
“Definitely,” you agreed, “Just gotta get evidence. But enough about work, how are you?”
“Better now that you’re here,” he leaned in to kiss you.
“You’re all sweaty,” you half-complained as he started down your neck.
“You didn’t complain the first time,” he smirked, “Or the second, or the third, or the-”
“Okay, I get it,” you giggled.
He kissed back up to your lips and settled on a slow, gentle pace. He broke the kiss and said “Get in the shower. I’ll be there soon.”
Your eyes widen at his command and you immediately head to the bathroom and took off your clothes. The water temperature was just right and you stepped in and sighed, washing off the fatigue of the day. A pair of hands snaked around your waist from behind and Dick got wet with you.
He pressed himself against you and you could feel his hardening cock heavy on your back.
“Dick,” you whimpered, grinding your ass on his length.
“Nuh uh,” he teased, “Gotta clean you up first.”
He reached for the body wash and started lathering up soap on you. His strong fingers gently rubbed and slid on your body, down your tummy, in between your legs. “Dick,” you whined.
His fingers parted your lips and found your clit, immediately circling and putting just the right amount of pressure. He knew your body almost better than you knew yourself. All the times he experimented with you and pleasured you meant he knew which buttons to tease and which to push.
“Need- you,” you panted at him.
“Hold onto the wall,” he instructed. You pressed both your palms against the wet tiles and bent over. His hands were placed on your hips to give you support. You trusted that he would not let you fall. This wasn’t the first time you had shower sex with him after all.
“Fuck,” you moaned when you felt him fill you up to the brim. You were familiar with his cock, and how he liked to still inside you after the first push, to get you adjusted to his size but also to tease you. You got yourself ready for what was to come.
He slid out, and with the strong grip on your hips, he fucked you hard back on his cock, forcing the air out of your lungs. You never had time to scream when he was like this with you, because he would pummel into you relentlessly. All you could manage was eyes rolled into the back of your head, and an open wide ‘O’.
In no time at all, you came, and he still fucked you while you got down from your high before pulling out to finish on your ass. The water immediately washed away his cum. Dick was a silent lover, the only sounds he made were soft and quiet moans, a few gasps, and a small groan when he came.
You lost your grip and almost collapsed back onto him.
“You okay there, darling?” he held you up by embracing you in his arms.
“Mmm,” you hummed.
“I’ll take that as a yes,” he chuckled and kissed your temple. “Let’s get you all dried up and tucked in.”
You laid on his chest, hearing his heartbeat. Your eyes were droopy.
“I’ll be going on a mission for a few days,” he informed you. “Leaving tomorrow night.”
“Oh,” you responded, slightly disappointed. “Batfamily or a team thing?”
“Team thing.”
Your chest squeezed.
“Will she be there?”
“Not sure.”
Liar.
“Jason will be there, though,” he added.
That surprised you. “Oh? How come?”
“I asked him if he wanted to do something with the others that didn’t involve Bruce or Tim,” Dick explained, “He agreed. I think it’d be good for him, don’t you?”
“The fact that he agreed means that he is trying his best,” you agreed, “I’m so proud of him.”
“I think spending all that time investigating with you helped him,” Dick said, “Like it was the first step to getting out of his rut, you know?”
“He didn’t even seem like he was in a rut when he was with me,” you wondered back, “I mean- I knew that he was struggling in general with the whole guilt and self-loathing. But I didn’t know he was completely cut off from everyone else.”
“Not completely,” Dick sighed, “But he might as well have been. He tries, though.”
You smiled. Jason always tried his best at anything. “How long will you be away for?”
“Just three or four days. We’re going somewhere south this time. Nothing too big. Bane sighting, so just a recon for now unless we hit something big.”
“Looks like I’ll be on my own for a while, then,” you thought out loud, “I think I’ll just send in my first round of evidence and report to my client. It’s just Thorne’s accountant that is linked to Cobblepot for now, so if they want a deeper investigation linking back to Thorne, they’ll have to wait a little longer while I figure it out.”
“Try not to stir up the pot too much with Thorne, please,” Dick insisted, “I know you can take care of yourself, but I also know you don’t want any attention. It’ll be harder to do future jobs too if everyone knew who you were.”
“Yeah, you’re right,” you conceded. You were getting sleepy again. “I’ll figure it out without exposing myself. Considering that I’m high in demand right now means that I should start laying low.”
“They should pay you more,” he stated. “Sleepy? Goodnight, darling. I love you.”
Your eyes closed as you mumbled back a reply.
***
The days that went by were uneventful, but that meant that you had time to sit back and reset.
Dropping off the evidence and report at a different locker from the first, you now had to wait a day before Dick and Jason came back from their mission. You usually dealt with being alone well, but for some reason you felt a tension in your shoulders. This usually happened when Dick was on a mission that lasted more than a couple of days, and especially if she was involved.
Unpleasant memories gnawed at your mind, so you forced them away by reorganizing your case files, your liquor cabinet, and your wardrobe. These were basically the only things you had in Dick’s apartment. You didn’t get attached to things, so the clothes you owned were just the essentials based on occasion- for when you needed to be professional, for when you needed to dress up, for when you needed to seduce, and for the everyday casual. You noticed a lot of dark colors. Navy, midnight, dark brown. Those were the colors you felt most comfortable in. Muted, and in the shadows, where you felt like you belonged.
That was how you kept yourself busy until both of your boys came back. You were anxious and on edge even worse than before, your gut making you feel uneasy. Intuition was one of your strengths, and that made it easier for you to tell what other people are thinking.
Dick had texted you before he returned, a ritual of his. He would always let you know when he was on the way home, safe. A portion of the tension was relieved, but you still felt like a rubber band stretched and waiting to snap.
It was sunset when you heard the familiar jingle of keys muffled behind the door. You stood up from the sofa and straightened your clothes, ready to greet him.
When you saw his face, you gasped.
“Dick! What happened?” you rushed to your partner. He had a large bruise forming on his left cheekbone, spreading to his slightly swollen eyes. “I thought you said it was just a recon.”
He averted his eyes from yours as he closed the door. You went to the freezer to get an ice pack you always kept handy and went to press it on his face.
“I’m fine, really,” he tried to awkwardly smile.
“It’s not everyday you come back with a bruised face,” you worried, “Who managed to hit you? Bane?”
“No,” he couldn’t meet your eyes again. He took the ice pack from you and sat down on the sofa. You took a seat next to him.
“Then?” you persisted. “Tell me.”
Dick closed his eyes and sighed. “Jason did.”
“Jason? What do you mean Jason?” you questioned, perplexed. “Jason punched you in the face?”
He turned his head away from you. It was obvious based on his body language that he was extremely uncomfortable and was hiding information from you. You didn’t need to be a pro to tell that.
“Yeah.”
You blinked. “Dick. I want to hear everything.”
“Yeah, I know,” he replied quietly, “You should know.”
Silence.
“Well?” you probed.
“It was, uh, after the mission. Everything was done and everyone had packed. We were at HQ,” he began, still speaking quietly and averting his eyes. “I was in the living room with Kori. We were just talking.”
At the mention of her name, you now knew where this was going. You felt a heat creeping up your neck and settling in your cheeks, burning. Your heart started racing. Your chest tightened until it started to hurt. Suddenly, all the memories you wanted to push away came flooding back.
Her touch on his shoulder. His eyes lighting up at his phone. You mistaking his phone for yours and seeing her messages. You crying, him apologizing. Nothing has happened between us, he promised. They’re just text messages. We’re just good friends. She’s hardly even on Earth these days.
You bit your lip and turned away, eyes brimming with tears you did not want to let fall.
“…one thing led to another, and,” he continued, “We kissed. Only for a moment. It was less than a second, I swear. Jason walked in on us and he just- he flipped. He grabbed me and punched me in the face. Said a lot of nasty things to both of us. Roy had to break it up, or things would have escalated.”
You remained silent, not knowing how to respond, not knowing what to even feel.
“Darling?” he turned toward you this time to look at you. You were staring straight ahead. “I promise, it meant nothing. It hardly even counts as a kiss. Nothing happened after. I didn’t even say goodbye to her, I haven’t said anything to her after I left.”
You turned to him, now feeling something. Heat, and anger. How dare he.
“It was just a short kiss?” you asked.
“Yeah-“
“But it would have been longer if Jason had not interrupted,” you stated.
“W-what-“
“But it would have possibly led to more than just a kiss if it weren’t for Jason,” you monotoned.
“I… I don’t know,” he admitted.
“Then, Dick Grayson,” you stood up, “We are done.”
You stormed off to your room, Dick following behind you.
“Darling, please!” he called, “Let’s talk about this. Please.”
You grabbed your phone and sent a quick text to Jason.
“There’s nothing to talk about,” you said coolly. You opened your closet and reached for your backpack.
“Where are you going?” he asked, eyeing your overnight bag.
“That’s none of your business,” you fumed, walking past him toward the door. “There are so many things I want to say to you right now, but I am not in the right mind, and I will end up saying things I will regret.”
“I deserve everything you say to me.”
“You self-pitying bastard!” you turned and roared at him, “How dare you use your own guilt on me. You manipulative piece of-“
You stopped in your tracks, trying so fucking hard to reel in your shadow, to control yourself. You counted backwards. Dick knew not to disturb you at this state.
With one last deep breath, you left.
***
coming over. be there in 30.
Jason had not expected that text from you so soon. He knew you would have found out eventually, because if Dick had the nerve to lie to you, then he would be the one to tell you. It must have been difficult for Dick to tell you the truth, Jason thought. But Dick must have weighed out his options. His older brother knew that lying would have made him looked worse because there was no way Jason was going to keep you in the dark about something like that.
He was worried. Any other man who was in love with you would have been happy to hear that you were coming to them teary and heartbroken by your boyfriend. Any other man would have taken advantage of your vulnerability.
But Jason genuinely did not want you to feel that kind of pain. He wanted to protect you, he wanted you to be happy. You were his best friend. Which was why he was so fucking angry with Dick. How dare he.
He waited outside by the road for you and saw your familiar black sedan pulling over. The next thing he knew, you were in his arms, sobbing into his shirt. He placed a hand on the back of your head, and the other on your waist.
“I know, sunshine, I know,” he whispered to you. The both of you just stayed there in that position for a while. The streetlights were on, and the working class were heading home for the day. Some stared, but quickly averted their eyes when Jason glared at them.
Once you calmed down a little, Jason guided you up to his apartment. “It isn’t much,” he said, anxious about you seeing his tiny place.
It was a single bedroom, with a small battered up sofa and an unplugged TV on the floor. The kitchen area consisted of a single stove next to a small sink with overhead cabinets. One lone fridge stood next to the stove, and a circular dining table with a plastic chair was placed in between the kitchen area and the living room. He hadn’t invited you in this whole time because he didn’t want you to see the sorry state of his current home.
“I haven’t had time to properly get furniture or like, decorate or anything,” he continued. Not like he thought that you were going to judge, but Jason was proper in that sense, where he felt like his guests needed to be comfortable. He did eventually want to do some interior designing, but he wasn’t sure if he wanted to put in effort into a temporary space. He eventually would want to move to a bigger apartment.
“It’s fine, Jay,” you sniffled, moving towards his sofa to sit down. Jason gave you a glass of warm water and sat down next to you. “Thanks. Sorry to barge in on you like this.”
“You can barge in anytime, you know that,” he nudged you with his shoulder. “So, come on. Talk to me.”
You looked at him with large watery eyes, and a trembling lower lip. Jason’s heart broke for you.
“He told me why you punched him,” you started, “Thanks for that, by the way.”
“I would have done more,” he grit. Roy shouldn’t have stopped him.
“Can you tell me what happened?”
“You already know what happened.”
“Not all of it,” you bit your lip, “He said that you were cursing at them. And Roy had to break it off.”
’You piece of shit, Grayson. What is wrong with you? Who do you think you are where you can do anything you want?’ Jason had said to a guilty looking Dick who was massaging his face after the punch. Starfire was next to him, silent. ‘Your whole Golden Boy persona was just to fool everyone around you, after all, huh? No wonder Barbara left you.’
‘Jason-’ Starfire had interrupted.
‘And you,’ he turned towards her. ‘You’re supposed to support other women, not sabotage them and tear them down.’
‘Don’t bring her into this, Jason,’ Dick defended, ‘You know her customs are different.’
‘Bullshit. You don’t get to use that as an excuse anymore. You’ve been here for what, a decade already? You know how we are. You can feel how we are. Time to stop fucking playing dumb, you’re not fooling me.’
‘Jason,’ Dick angrily stepped up to him, ‘Take a walk.’
‘How about you go fuck yourself, you cunt,’ Jason shoved him back, ‘Do you have any idea how long it took for her to trust anyone? Do you have any idea how much of a fucking asshole for you to be in order to hurt someone like her? You’re a fucking sham, Grayson. You’re a narcissist who manipulates people into doing whatever the fuck you want them to.’
‘What’s going on here?’ Roy had stepped in.
‘That’s what you did, didn’t you?’ he went on, ‘She was grieving, and one day she was crying and I bet you swooped in just to fuck her-’
‘You going to tell her, then?’ Dick had smirked. He had fucking smirked at Jason. ‘Isn’t this the perfect opportunity for you? You wanted her all along, right? So you’re going to tell her so she can finally see you as her knight in shining armor? Because whatever you did wasn’t working, trying to sweeten her up by calling her- what was it? Sunny, and Sunshine-’
Jason had it, then. He looked at Dick straight in the eye and-
“I spat at him,” he told you, omitting the rest. “Roy had to stop us then.”
“You didn’t,” you gasped. “Oh Jason, you really didn’t have to.”
“It just happened,” he said honestly, “Everything that happened, it was just instinct to me. I couldn’t let him get away from hurting you.”
You stared at him, and then tackled him into a bear hug.
“Jason, you’re the best,” you said into his chest. “I’m so glad I have you.”
Jason’s chest tightened with longing.
“I know, Sunny. I’m pretty awesome.”
You giggled.
Jason loved making you laugh.
“Could I stay here for a while?” you looked up at him with pleading eyes. “Just a week or two. I’m going to talk to the landlady and see if my old place is still available.”
“Stay as long as you like,” he smiled, caressing your hair.
“I’ll take the couch.”
“What? No. You take the bed. I’ll take the couch.”
“I can’t take your bed,” you rolled your eyes at him, “This is your place. You’re doing me a favor.”
“I’m not letting my guest-” he booped your nose, “take the couch.”
“I’ll just sleep here then and you can’t do anything about it,” you insisted stubbornly.
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah.”
Jason stood up without warning, and then grabbed you by the hips, lifting you up and throwing you onto his shoulder in a fireman’s carry.
“Jason- what the fuck!”
“I’m doing something about it,” he chuckled.
“Jason, put me down!” you slapped his back.
He carried you to his room and-
“Put you down? Okay,” he threw you onto his perfectly made king sized bed. He stood looking down at you with his hands on his hips and grinned triumphantly.
You pouted at him. “Fine. How about we both take the bed.”
Jason’s heart skipped a beat. “What? No.”
“There’s plenty of space for the both of us!” you argued. “And we used to have sleepovers all the time.”
“That was before!” he argued back, “We can’t share a bed now.”
“And why not?” you demanded.
“It’s inappropriate. You’re a girl, and I’m a guy.”
“It’s only inappropriate if you’re planning to do something inappropriate. Which you aren’t, are you?”
Jason felt heat in his cheeks and silently cursed himself for acting like a school boy.
“Of course not!” he huffed.
“Then there’s no problem, is there?” you gave him a smug look.
Jason silently scowled at you. “Fine.”
“Great, now I call dibs on the bolster.”
Jason didn’t bother arguing with you, because whatever you wanted, he knew he couldn’t say no.
***
In truth, you didn’t want to be alone.
It was funny how you were so used to being alone, and have always found comfort with your own company. Yet this time, the loneliness scared you. You didn’t want to be alone anymore, and Dick doing that to you triggered a kind of fear that you didn’t know existed.
A long time ago, Jason had made a joke about how sharing a room with you meant he could get better sleep since you made it dark and he didn’t need blackout curtains. You realized now that everything he said to you was a way to make you feel better about your shadow, even if you didn’t show any insecurity. He found little ways to let you know how much better it was with your shadow.
After dinner, which was just instant ramen and eggs that Jason had overcooked, the both of you watched a movie on your laptop in bed. Jason had fallen asleep halfway, and you suddenly felt bad for imposing on him. He must have been tired from the mission. You put your laptop away and layed next to him, attempting to fall asleep as well.
But there you were wide awake, suddenly hyper-aware of your own looming darkness around you and Jason’s back facing you. Dick was not your first, but he was your first serious partner. You really loved him, even then as you lay heartbroken.
Fighting back tears, you tried concentrating on Jason’s steady breathing.
He was breathing. He was alive. This time last year you were still mourning him, trying to move on by clinging onto Dick.
Was that what Dick was to you? Were you with him just so you could have an idea of how it would be like if you were with Jason?
Then why did this hurt so bad?
You woke up the next morning to Jason still sleeping next to you. His slight frown that was ever present relaxed slightly while he was asleep. You used to do this last time, too. Whenever you had sleepovers, you would observe him. How his lips were slightly parted, how he would bundle up in the sheets like a burrito. He hadn’t changed in that aspect.
Small scars littered his face, more than before. His eyelashes were slightly longer and darker, as were the circles under his eyes.
He stirred. You quickly turned to lie on your back.
“Hnggh,” he stretched and yawned, “Oh, you’re awake. Mornin’. Sleep okay?”
“Mhm,” you nodded and moved to get up, “How about you?”
“Not so good,” he rubbed his eyes and looked at you, “Someone was snoring super loud.”
“I do not snore!” you hit him with a pillow.
He laughed.
You cooked breakfast this time, scrambled eggs on toast while Jason waited. While you were eating with him, you asked, “Hey. Do you think you can come with me to Dicks’? I told him to pack up my stuff. It’s not much, but I’d like the company.”
***
Jason noticed you were biting your nails as you drove to Dicks’.
He felt bad for you in your anxious state, the interior of the car much darker than outside. He would have to keep a cool head while he was there, because it wasn’t about him. He was only with you for moral support.
You unlocked the apartment door with your key and turned the knob.
“Baby!” Dick approached you but paused when he saw Jason. “Oh, you’re here too.”
Jason raised an eyebrow.
“I told you not to be here, Dick,” you groaned. “Did you even pack up my stuff?”
“I did,” Dick followed you into your room, “But I wanted to talk.”
Jason let you and Dick have some space, but hovered closeby to make sure you were okay.
“There’s nothing to talk about,” you shoved a box into Jason’s arms. “Could you help carry a couple of these? It’s not much, I promise.”
“Sure,” he mumbled back as you stacked another box on top.
“You can bring these to the car first?”
He glanced at Dick. “You going to be okay on your own?”
“I can take-”
“I know you can take care of yourself, but that’s not what I meant,” he said sternly.
You paused. “I’ll be alright. Thank you.”
He left and loaded the car. He walked back to the apartment.
“-you know how I felt about you. How I still feel about you,” Jason overheard Dick. He entered the apartment quietly to watch the two of you talk.
“No, I don’t. I have always felt insecure about her and you knew that. I always suspected that you guys weren’t actually over,” you put a box on the counter and crossed your arms at Dick, lips trembling.
“I’m really sorry that I made you feel that way,” Dick replied, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “But we were there for each other. We both mourned together. That’s not something I shared with anyone else.”
You turned away and glanced at Jason for a moment, who gave you a small encouraging smile.
He hated seeing Dick touch you the way he was.
“And I cared for you and stayed with you,” Dick continued, “Even though I knew that it wasn’t me that made you stay. Even though I knew the whole time you wished I was Jason.”
Jason saw a flash of anger in your eyes, and you slapped Dick’s hand away.
“Richard John Grayson,” you fumed.
Jason recognized the change of aura even though he had not felt it in years. Suddenly, the room grew dark, as if an eclipse were happening right outside.
“How dare you insinuate that I was thinking of another man while I was with you,” you growled, “How dare you think that I stooped that low. That you think I have no decency and dignity to do that to you, when you were the one who kept on running behind my back.”
Behind you, a darkness grew and grew, distorting the lighting in the room in impossible ways. Dick took a step back from you. This was what scared everyone else away from you.
But to Jason, this was one of the most beautiful forms he saw you as. A dangerous, powerful dark queen. He stared in awe at you, his heart racing because he forgot how much he loved seeing you like this. It was as if he had fallen in love with you all over again for the very first time.
Then, Jason remembered where you were, and he knew you would regret it if you were to accidentally cause any harm to Dick.
“Hey, Sunshine,” he stepped in, “The car’s all loaded and ready to go.”
Your eyes snapped back at Jason, and then darted towards Dick. There was a slight panic on your face before the room was bright again.
***
There was a specific kind of anxiety you felt when you feared judgment coming from someone you love, and whose opinions matter to you. You noticed that Jason had been sneaking worried glances at you as you drove back from Dicks’, and even as you both carried your things up to his apartment.
Was he wary of you now? You had lost control of your shadow for a moment when you were angry at Dick. Jason had snapped you back to reality, but you saw the look on his face. Eyes wide with shock and worry.
“I understand if you don’t want me to stay here anymore,” you said when the both of you finally put all your things down in Jason’s apartment. “I have money and I can find a place to stay.”
Jason crossed his arms at you. “What do you mean?”
“I mean…” you hesitated, looking anywhere but his piercing gaze. Suddenly the peeling paint on the walls felt more interesting. “You saw what happened. I understand if you don’t want that kind of danger around you.”
“That kind of danger?” Jason repeated before realizing what you meant. He sighed and walked toward you, skipping past the boxes on the floor. Towering over you, he lifted your chin up with a finger. “Do you think I’m afraid of you?”
“You looked like you were…”
You saw his frustration. “Tell me, amongst the both of us, who here has actually hurt Dick?”
You blinked at him.
“You have this- this darkness, right? Do you think getting beaten to death, resurrected in some weird magic cartoonish toxic waste looking pit and then brainwashed wouldn’t affect me and make me have some kind of darkness as well? Between you and me, I have caused way more destruction than you have. Way more. Do you really think I’d be afraid of you?”
“Well- but- you don’t have this uncontrollable power that could hurt the people you love at any time!” you argued.
“Sunny, listen to what you’re saying!” he responded incredulously, “I literally tried my best to hurt the people I love. You have been trying your best to protect them. Haven’t you?”
You avoided his piercing gaze by looking away. “I guess.”
“So don’t be silly,” he booped your nose, “Put away your things and stay as long as you want. Make a grocery list to stock up the fridge, and maybe help decorate the place a little, huh?”
“Yeah, okay,” you smiled sheepishly at him. “But I don’t want to stay for long. Just until I get somewhere more permanent. There’s only one bedroom and you snore.”
“I do not!” he huffed as he helped pick a box of your clothes to bring to the room.
“Jason?” you called out. “Thank you.”
He shrugged. “Don’t mention it.”
The days flew by and you found it hard not to enjoy this new routine that you and Jason had built. It wasn’t dissimilar to Dicks’ as Jason also went out at night for patrol. The only difference was that he didn’t have a day job, which made you question how he could afford his bills and rent.
“I have my ways,” he simply replied when you brought up the subject. It was dusk on the eighth day you were there and he was armoring up for the night, double checking his weapons and gadgets.
“Are you still doing illegal nightly activities?” you asked.
“We’re a family of vigilantes,” he managed to give you a roll of his eyes before putting on his helmet. “Everything we do is illegal.”
You approached him and placed both your palms on either side of the shiny red metal helmet that were littered with scratches and scuff marks. You could hear his crackled breathing through the built-in voice changer.
“You know what I mean,” you said, rubbing off a mark where his brow should be.
A pause. “Yeah, I have some arrangements with some contacts. But it’s nothing that can harm anyone. No drugs or trafficking or anything. Some smuggling of rare goods. Antiques.”
“That’s good,” you smiled, “I’ve dabbled in some black market antiquities myself.”
“You have?” you heard the surprise in his mechanical walky-talky like voice.
“Mhmm,” you nodded, “For a client a couple years ago, and only for a few months. I enjoyed the research, but I find that investigating interpersonal relationships and people was more fulfilling. Which is why I try not to take cases that want me to help take down someone’s competitor. Unless it’s a whistleblower type, then it would be my number one priority.”
“How honorable,” he joked.
“Shut up, Darth Vader,” you laughed, then without thinking, tip-toed to place a peck on the cool metal. “Stay safe, Jay.”
He didn’t reply immediately, and the only thing you could hear was his breathing. The silence made you anxious. Perhaps you shouldn’t have done that?
“Good night, Sunny,” he finally said, and then left through the balcony.
***
It was 6 in the morning on the eleventh day you were staying at Jason’s house when he returned from his night out. His shoulders and neck ached, and he didn’t know whether he wanted to eat or sleep. But the thought of getting under the covers with you by his side helped him with his decision.
He climbed down the fire escape and jumped onto his balcony, avoiding the new potted plants you had gotten him just a few days ago. He slid open the door and started to take off his boots at the same time before pausing at the sight of his dining table.
You were asleep with your head rested on your crossed arms on the table, papers scattered everywhere. He made you promise that night before he left that you would sleep early and take it easy with your work, but since the published article and the following public statement from Thorne, you heard back from your client to go harder.
He took off his helmet and threw it on the sofa. Approaching you quietly, he tip-toed to the dining table and smiled softly. He contemplated carrying you to the room, but he knew he couldn’t pick you up without waking you up.
“Hey there, sleepy head,” he softly whispered and put a hand on your back. You stirred awake.
“Jason?” you mumbled, lifting your head up and blinking. “What time is it?”
“Just after six,” he answered. “Go to bed. Come on. I’ll join you in a sec, too.”
You nodded and yawned, then stumbled to the room. Jason held back a chuckle when he saw you sprawled on top of the sheets.
He washed up and looked at his own reflection in the foggy mirror. He frowned at the hideous scars on his body. Mostly old, some new ones. A bruise was forming across his left rib where he got punched the day before. He quickly put on his shirt, trying his best to hide his ugly body from you.
***
Your neck was stiff when you turned to your side and saw Jason sleeping soundly next to you. He was on his back, his head turned away to the other side. You watched as his chest rose and fell with every breath. You smiled to yourself when you remembered he had woken you up and made you sleep in bed. You needed to move out soon. You felt bad for taking up his space.
As you were watching him, you noticed out of the corner of your eye that his shirt rode up slightly, revealing his tummy that you knew were hard to the touch. You frowned at the faint scars that littered his skin. You had always liked that about him. Scars on a man was so badass, and you knew Jason was very very skilled at fighting. Those scars showed experience in hand to hand combat with multiple weapons and tools, something you respected.
Your eyes trailed down to his sage green shorts. It wasn’t your fault, you were just following his happy trail in that direction. Your eyes widen and you blushed at what you were seeing. Was… was he hard? No. Not fully. But still, you could see the loose fabric of his shorts stretch out and form the silhouette of his bulge. Your heartbeat quicken and you felt a familiar warmth at the base of your stomach.
Men often got hard when they slept, and contrary to popular belief, it sometimes did not have anything to do with spicy dreams. As their body phased into the rest and digest state, their heartbeat slows, their breathing deepens, and well, they get erections. So now you found yourself breathing hard through your nose at the sight of Jason’s chub, his semi-boner, his leaning tower of-
You closed your eyes.
You had a crush on Jason before, yes, but that was before your sexual awakening. You never had dirty fantasies of him. Just holding hands and kissing in the cinema. And when you were hanging out with him, perhaps you had forced those thoughts away since you were with Dick and would have felt bad for thinking of his brother that way.
But now there was nothing stopping your thoughts from running wild. You opened your eyes again, but looked upwards instead, to his neck stretched out and bare to you. Subconsciously, you licked your lips at the sight of his jugulars, the curvature of his well-developed SCM muscle that made you want to litter little love bites on-
You got ahead of yourself for the first time regarding Jason. And now that you have, you knew there was no way your overactive imagination was going to calm down everytime you looked at him.
You spent the next couple of hours outside on the sofa with your legs up and stretched, switching back and forth between reading a dirty novel to scrolling on your phone. Around 4 in the afternoon, Jason woke up and took a seat next to you with his own book and phone. You curled your legs to make room for him to sit, which he did, but then he took your calves and pulled your legs to rest on his thighs.
You tried hard to read the paragraph you were on. ‘His chocolate brown eyes burned into hers as she watched him crawl between her legs-’
Suddenly you felt the skin of your lower legs burn as Jason rested his forearms on them to read his book. You peeked at him from above your novel and saw his messy bed hair and frown and oh, God he was looking at you.
“What’re you reading?” you quickly blurted to cover up the fact that you were staring at him.
“Middle Eastern history,” he replied, “You?”
Oh, no. You hadn’t thought this far. “Oh. Just a novel.” You hid your face behind your book again.
You felt Jason shift closer to you. “Ooh, a romance novel?”
“Yes.”
He was leaning nearer to read the synopsis at the back. You quickly closed the book and glared at him.
“What’s wrong?” he chuckled, “I just wanted to see what it was about.”
“You wouldn’t like it anyway,” you crossed your arms.
“Or, you don’t want me to know you’re reading smut,” he grinned.
“Am not!” you huffed, putting your knees up in a fetal position, but with your back leaning against the sofa arm.
“I think I saw the word sexy and breathless there,” he teased, reaching out to grab the book from you.
In panic, you threw the book across the room. Jason’s eyes widened in shock at where the book landed. Then he looked at you. And then he burst out laughing.
“So it was smut!” he guffawed.
“Shut up!” you yelled.
He rested his chin on top of your knees and watched you. “Aww, you’re blushing!” he teased again, “No, no, don’t cover up your face, you’re cute when you blush!”
That made you blush even harder. You peeked at him through your fingers and saw that he was still resting his head on your knees with a massive grin on his face. “Don’t call me cute!”
His grin turned into a soft smile. “But it’s true.”
Now you felt like it was your eyes that were being burned into by Jason’s blue ones. His stare had always been so intense, even back when you were teens.
The both of you suddenly were staring at each other for what felt like eons. Suddenly you felt awkward, and you broke eye contact.
“Anyway,” you looked away and got up to a proper sitting position, causing Jason to resume his as well, “What’s for dinner? Wanna go out? I feel like going out.”
You couldn’t bear to be in close proximity with him any longer. You felt like you were going to explode into flames.
“Oh, finally leaving the rabbit hole of old corruption cases, are you?” he retorted.
“You can’t blame me, Jay,” you pouted, “Didn’t you read what they said! It was so infuriating. I would have preferred if they came up with a lie instead.”
After sending your client the photos of Thorne’s accountant meeting up with Oswald Cobblepot, the article made the front page of Gotham Gazette, the author under a pseudonym. The relationship between a well known criminal and the mayoral candidate’s accountant was reported along with the photo you took. There was an uproar on social media and a press conference. Two days after that, another report.
Thorne basically didn’t bother to cover anything up but denied it with a smirk on his face, ridiculing the journalist. Whoever wrote that he had said, has been skulking old internet forums full of conspiracy theorists- and probably has seen one too many YouTube videos on Photoshop. I wouldn’t be surprised if they were a Flat Earther. However, I must express my disappointment in Gotham Gazette. I thought they were a proper news source and not a tabloid magazine.
Along with his smile, charm, and wit, his statement won over everyone again. The next day you received another text promising even more money if you get concrete evidence, bank and witness statements, audio or video recording, or official documents from legitimate sources incriminating Thorne.
“I get it,” Jason nodded, “And the offer for help is still up.”
Jason had suggested breaking into his home.
“I know. When the time comes, Jay. Not now. I still need to piece some things together. And his security is tight. We might need another method.”
“Just let me know when, and I’ll drop everything to help you,” he said seriously. Before you could protest, he continued. “All this Middle Eastern reading makes me want shawarma before going out tonight. I have a… business meeting.”
“Antiquities?” you asked.
“Yeah, some stone inscription.”
“Can I tag along?” you inquired excitedly. “I need to take a break from the cases and come back with a fresh perspective. Only if you’re okay with it. I know there’s probably some hierarchy thing going on.”
“Hierarchy thing?” he raised an eyebrow.
“Yeah, you’re the boss man aren’t you?” you poked him. “You can’t just bring some girl to a business meeting.”
“Because I am the boss man, I can do whatever I want,” he shifted towards you and booped your nose. “And you’re not just some girl.”
You looked away to hide the creeping blush again. What was wrong with you?
“Anyway, sure you can tag along.”
“Yay!” you got up and grinned. “Let me find something to wear.”
You dug through your box of clothes and found black tights, a form fitting black jersey jacket and a black mask that covered your mouth. This was what you usually wore when you had to sneak around.
“Uh,” Jason scratched his head, “No. Wait, turn around.”
You obliged.
“Yeah, no,” he stated, “That material is too thin. Do you have a kevlar vest or something?”
You frowned and went to dig up your old kevlar vest from another box.
“Perfect!” he clapped, “No, hold on. Here.”
He forced you into his oversized black hoodie over the bulky vest. “Now it’s perfect.”
“Jason, I look so chonky!” you complained. “Why can’t I be cool and stylish like you?”
“Because my outfit is already bullet-proof,” he said smugly, “You need to be protected just in case. Now stop pouting and wait here while I change.”
After the both of you got ready, he took you down to another alley into a garage he bought and revealed his 1969 Chevrolet Impala.
“We’re not taking your bike?” you asked, slightly disappointed. You sat in the passenger seat and heard him turn on the engine, the loud rev making you jump.
“We have precious cargo,” he explained.
“Oh, right! The slab,” you facepalmed.
“That, too,” he smirked, “But I was talking about you.”
***
You noticed that Jason changed his body language when he was in Red Hood mode. He stood up straight with his head held high, asserting dominance in the way he walked and moved. You would be lying if you didn’t think it was hot.
“As promised,” the tall and slender man with olive skin and dark facial hair said with his heavy accent. “6th century Byzantine inscription.”
He opened a heavy duty black metal briefcase that showed a gray stone slab with carvings on its surface. You were next to Red Hood, who took a closer look and nodded at you to come closer.
Upon better observation, your eyes widen. No… It could not be.
“Is your consultant satisfied?” the man asked.
Red Hood had introduced you as his consultant in Middle Eastern antiquities for a second opinion. You nodded at him curtly.
“Yes, she is satisfied. As am I,” his distorted voice agreed, “Here is four hundred thousand. As promised. You did well, Malik.”
“Thank you, sir,” he nodded, taking the duffel bag of cash that Red Hood had handed to him.
The both of you exited the dark building where Malik was running his business next to a dodgy law firm and got into the car.
“Jason!” you immediately squealed as he turned the engine on. “How much are you selling that for to the auctioneer?”
“A Byzantine slab would go for eight hundred, probably,” he shrugged.
“Jason, that’s not a Byzantine slab! That’s the ancient Sabaean alabaster stone inscription from the third century. Its last known location was at an auction in Paris, but it originates from The Awwam Temple in Yemen-”
You didn’t finish your sentence because you had noticed Jason’s body language. He hadn’t reacted to you at all. “You knew what it was.”
“Of course I did,” he said. And even though his whole head was covered, you knew he had that smug smirk on his face.
“And you let Malik think it was Byzantine,” you stated, “Because, of course. If he had an inkling of what it was, the price would have went up.”
“You knew what it was too, and you let Malik believe it,” he shrugged, “Proud of you, Sunny, my little con artist.”
Jokingly, he patted you on the thigh to commend you. It was only a few seconds, yet your heart had started racing.
“Who is this auctioneer? Does he know what he’s getting?” you quickly tried to distract yourself.
“Harry Willowman,” Jason replied, “He thinks he is getting a sixth century Byzantine slab, and he is going to try to get away with buying it for less than what it’s worth.”
“Willowman,” you repeated to yourself.
“You know him?” Jason made a right turn into a large estate.
“I’ve dealt with him a few times in the past, but it was a while back. I don’t think he would remember me.”
“Would it be bad if he did?” he inquired, driving the car to a stop in front of the large mansion.
“We’ll just have to see.”
It was weird, going up to a mansion and ringing the doorbell, as if it wasn’t three in the morning, as if you weren’t wearing a kevlar vest underneath the atrociously large hoodie, and as if you weren’t accompanied by the six foot something vigilante wearing a red motorcycle helmet.
You were greeted by the butler, because of course these people had butlers, and the interior really did remind you of Wayne Manor in its classical finishing, but this place had many more things.
From vases and pots, to paintings and tapestry, to old cabinets and random statues of forgotten Gods and Goddesses, the hallway into Willoman’s office itself already looked like a museum. The butler, an old man about sixty years of age, led you up the marble staircase to the second floor and knocked at the first door, the largest.
“Come in,” said the muffled voice behind it.
Red Hood entered first, and you followed behind him.
“Red Hood,” Harry Willowman acknowledged, “And you brought company.”
Harry Willowman was an Englishman in his mid-forties, and was wearing a beige waffle sweater and khaki slacks. His salt and pepper hair was styled back, and he was as handsome as you remembered.
“This is my associate. She is my consultant during exchanges to make sure items are what they say they are.”
Harry leaned forward from his leather chair to get a closer look at you and frowned. “Have we met before?”
“No time for introductions. Here’s your slab.”
Red Hood set the case on Harry’s heavy wooden desk. Harry proceeded to click the locks open. “Ah, my Byzantine-”
You noticed the way his eyes sparkled just for a moment when he saw what was inside.
“Ahem,” he cleared his throat, “This is a beautiful Byzantine specimen. I shall offer you eight hundred for it, like we promised.”
“Ah, but you see, Mr Willowman,” Red Hood protested politely, “We agreed eight hundred for a Byzantine inscription.”
“And you brought me a Byzantine inscription,” Harry acted confused.
Red Hood turned to you and nodded. You knew what he meant.
“Red Hood will take no less than two million dollars for the third century Sabaean alabaster stone inscription,” you said curtly.
Harry raised an eyebrow at you, and proceeded to laugh. “My dear, you don’t think this is the inscription from Awam Temple? The script here is clearly Koine.”
“I am not your dear,” you snapped, “And Koine is a Hellenistic script. As you can see here, it is clearly Middle Persian, or more specifically Sabaean. Some Parthian scripture has Hellenistic influence, but Sabaic specifically, since it is derived from ancient Aramaic, utilizes mater lectionis- a common variable in Semitic languages. Not Hellenistic.”
Harry stared at you in wonder, but then his eyes narrowed, and a smirk appeared on his lips. “I couldn’t recognise you with that ridiculous outfit you have on, Jade. Whatever happened to the tight leather?”
You clenched your jaw. “Two. Million.”
“Downings,” Harry called to his butler, “Fetch our friends here four of those bags, will you? Turns out one of them is an old associate.”
The room was suddenly tense. You could almost feel Red Hood next to you, coiled up and ready to spring.
“Jade The Judge,” Harry recited again, “What a surprise. How did you get her out of her little hiding hole, Red?”
“I don’t make comments about her outfit,” Red Hood snarkily replied.
Harry laughed. “No, Red, you don’t get it. You didn’t see Jade when she was in her prime. What was it that people used to say? When Jade The Judge walks, darkness follows. People used to be terrified of her. But I was completely infatuated. She left as swiftly as she arrived. But we used to have some fun didn’t we, Jade?”
You felt an icy cold shiver run down your spine in disgust. It was before Dick, when you were still mourning Jason.
You noticed Red Hood’s fists clench.
Before anyone could say anything, the butler arrived with four briefcases, struggling to juggle them in his arms.
“You’ll find that every dollar is accounted for,�� Harry explained, the mischievous twinkle in his eye still ever present. “Because I know you will have my head if any small amount is missing.”
You picked up two briefcases, and Red Hood picked up the other two. Without saying any goodbyes, the both of you turned and left the room, but not without hearing Harry’s voice in the distance calling out to you. “I’m looking forward to more leather tights, Jade!”
The ride back home was silent. Jason drove into the garage and parked, taking off his helmet. The both of you walked to Jason’s apartment, and upon entering, you took off your mask, the hoodie, and the uncomfortable vest.
Before anything else was said, you quickly blurted out. “We did.”
Jason turned to you with his eyebrows raised. “Hmm?”
“Harry and I. We slept together. A few times. It was a long time ago,” you shuffled your feet. For some reason, you felt like you were a deer caught in the headlights of a car. You didn’t know why you were confessing this to Jason, and you didn’t know why you felt such shame doing so.
“I wasn’t going to ask,” he came up to you and smiled softly.
“I know, but you were thinking it.” Tears were brimming. “It was before Dick, when I was mourning you still. I was in a very dark place, and I was reckless for the sake of being reckless.”
Jason then frowned. “Does he know your real identity?”
“Oh, God, no!” you shook your head furiously, “I had my mask on, or it would have been in the dark.”
“Why are you telling me this?” he whispered.
“I don’t know,” you looked down at your feet. “I figured I might as well get it out of the way.”
“Well, thank you for telling me,” he replied. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m okay,” you forced a smile. “Go shower first. I need a drink.”
You downed a shot of vodka and took a long, deep breath. After a while, you heard the shower turn off in the room. You head to the shower.
You opened the door to Jason’s room and was greeted with him shirtless with only his sweatpants on. He was drying his hair with his towel, but droplets of water fell onto his skin, running down his body. You gulped and blushed before saying “Oh my God! I’m so sorry!”
Jason’s eyes widen when he realised you were there. “Sunny! No! I’m sorry. Fuck! Let me put on a shirt real quick.”
He rushed to his closet and put on his shirt, but not before you caught a glimpse of his toned back muscles flexing with movement. Fuck.
“I’m really fucking sorry,” Jason said.
“What? Jason, no. I’m the one who intruded. I’m sorry, I know you’re shy,” you exasperatedly tried to calm him down. But Jason looked like he was in pain.
“No. I know how fucking disgusting my body is. You weren’t meant to see it. Sorry.”
You were shocked into silence. He was standing in front of you, but his head turned away.
“Jason,” you gently approached him, “Who told you that?”
“No one,” he denied, “But I know how I look, and I don’t want you to have to see that shit.”
“Oh, Jason,” you sighed. “I don’t find you disgusting at all.”
“You don’t have to be nice,” he grit, “I saw you looking.”
Suddenly, you felt the familiar heat creep up to your cheeks. “I- uh, I. I was looking. Yes. I was. But not because I think you’re disgusting. I was- uh. I was… admiring…you…”
“What?” he frowned.
“Look,” you gathered your courage and pierced his eyes with yours. “I’ve seen your scars, yes. And the way I see it, your scars means you are a skilled fighter. All those lessons learned. All that experience. I wish I had your skills. But I just have this stupid shadow. So I respect it. I respect your scars, and your body, and you.”
Jason was still quiet. You could almost see the gears in his head turning as he contemplated on your words.
“And,” you decided to come out with it. “I think. That. Your body. Is. Superhotorwhatever.”
Now you were blushing furiously, but was still watching Jason’s expressions. His frown subsided, and then the corner of his lips twisted upwards in a smirk. “You think I’m hot?”
“Ugh, I should not have said that,” you groaned and turned to walk away.
“No, no, tell me more about how you like my body,” Jason laughed.
“Stop!” you whined, “I’m going to shower.”
“Wait,” he stopped you in your tracks. “Thank you. Really. I wouldn’t have believed you if you hadn’t been blushing.”
“Go away!” you ran to the bathroom and closed the door on Jason chuckling at you.
You stared at yourself in the mirror, processing the day, the night, and the feelings that you felt since the day before. You groaned to yourself when you hit the realization.
You had a crush on your best friend. Again.
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Ur a pretty fair voice in my opinion when it comes to the whole mess in miraculous. Would you mind telling me what your favorite things are about Marinettes appreciation of Chat Noir in Canon? Not fanon, CANON.
I'm still grieving LadyNoir and recently I'm feelin very down in life in general and now I don't have my comfort show and ship anymore the way I used to love them for.
The way Marinette treats Chat Noir in and outta her transformation never stops hurting my poor broken LadyNoir heart n as much as I wished I could love the potential of her love for him as I once did, it just feels so paper thin and shallow to me now after everythin this show did.
The show is clearly trying to have her feelings for him be smth now, but for me it never seems to go beyond her infamous vague heart eyes the show likes to hav her throw around for damage control & surface level appreciation of his presence when she has to. But if you'd tell me that she still has no real feelings for him, I would believe u, cause he as a person doesn't truly matter at any given moment her words have to MEAN something more than a vague "<3" she's never asked to back up with anything worthwhile (srry, I know you've heard that complaint a million times before. It's at least comforting to know that others feel the same)
Wasn even her taking any interest in Chat for his person in the first quarter of season 5 only caused by Marinette wantin to proof Alya wrong and that her love for him instead of Adrien is real and valid? That's so disheartening...
Going through the tags isnt helping either, cuz most i find it is either much more fanon than Canon, or it's in line with Chat prrty much being her servant now instead of her finally giving care back
Idk, I hope I'm not bein too much of a downer. So imma get back to my question now. Maybe u can help me see Canon in better light again.
Could you tell me what you like most bout Marinettes and Ladybug's connection with Chat Noir? Things she does for him, what she values in him and so on and so forth?
I like the times we see her getting upset when Chat's hurt, or when she comforts him when he's clearly not feeling good. I adored how angry and upset she got in Timebreaker when Chat was "killed" in front of her for the first time, how she suddenly became more vicious. She doesn't want to lose him.
Or like, for times when she's comforted Chat, I adore how calmly and patiently she spoke to Chat in Reverser, after his courage was taken away, how she gently coaxed him where he needed to go. I took great solace in that, the first time I rewatched that episode, since I'd been exposed to a lot of Saltinette at the time, and I needed the reminder that Marinette does, in fact, care about people, even when it's inconvenient.
While I wish that Marinette had really thought through Chat's potential reaction to someone new showing up with her Miraculous without warning, I DID love that Marinette had this long list of protips. I especially liked this one:
Marinette: (v.o) Protip 33: When Cat Noir tells a joke, try to laugh at it even if it isn't funny. It makes him happy.
Even in episodes where I have a problem with the way Marinette conceives of Chat Noir, I generally still like elements of it. Like even in Ephemeral, while I think it was very, very wrong for her to try to trick Chat the way she did, she WAS doing it because she didn't want to risk Su-Han taking Chat's Miraculous from him. Or in Kuro Neko, when she didn't want to give the miraculous back to Plagg to give to Chat Noir, because she was afraid they'd end up back in this same situation, and she didn't want to keep hurting him.
At her core, Marinette cares about Chat's feelings and wants him to feel good, to be happy. The issue comes from her not seeing things from his perspective, from being terrible at reading him. Marinette has a lot of compassion towards Chat Noir, she just doesn't understand him.
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vax preparing for thordak by having conversations and giving away items that served him well in battle — before he acquired the deathwalker's ward and the whisper — with/to people he loves and cares for is, honestly, heartbreaking. because you can see on liam's face the pain and unshed tears of indirectly saying goodbye. goodbye is always the hardest part especially when you don't know, truly, if you'll come back.
vax gives keyleth the displacement cloak. he encourages vex to accept her feelings for percy and act on 'em. he apologizes to gilmore. he gives kynan his belt, simon. and in half of these instances he admits out loud that he might be dead tomorrow. during the other half his eyes say it.
he wants to protect his love on the battlefield because he knows he won't always be around her and a cloak will give keyleth a chance, a moment more, an opportunity not to fall. he wants vex to be happy and he wants to see her happiness before he dies. he wants to know what it's like and he wants to go, if he'll have to, with peace from knowing that she is happy. he wants shaun to know that he never lied or played him, that he actually loved him. maybe not the way gilmore hoped but he did love him and he never wanted to hurt him. he is desperately trying to redeem himself to his boy, as people claimed kynan to be, because he feels responsible, because he feels guilty, because he feels empathy. he has been there, he has been in troubled position, he has been overwhelmed with emotions and he just wants to help so hard.
what has actually brought tears to my eyes is gilmore making, pressing him to say 'till next time because vax didn't reciprocate the hopeful sentiment at first. he hesitated. he looked at shaun and almost broke before him because he doesn't know! if he will be alive tomorrow, he actually doesn't know and he is scared and he doesn't want to die but he knows that he won't ever be able to hold back if danger comes his loved ones way, his way. if an opportunity for revenge comes his way.
and my heart aches and breaks because i love this stupid guy who wears his heart on his sleeve and tries to love the world, the people and even the gods. and the universe may hurt him, may put hard-to-get-over obstacles in his way, may give things and cruelly snatch away the next second — he still loves it, because what's the point then of existing. of living. and i love him so fucking much. and i want to bring peace to the world for him to live in his happily ever after knowing that he would do the same for those he holds close.
and i would break the world for liam and that still won't be enough to show my gratitude for being unapologetically himself and creating such characters.
#may c1 watch through#ep 73#i love vax so much it hurts#i love the bits of his character in details#i love his a little bit awkward way of talking about vulnerable topics bUT TALKING and he is doing such a good job now comparing to before#i love him being so full of love he keeps trying to love amidst the ending of the world#i love him being so full of pain his own and others but he just deals with it#takes it all in goes really quiet and then comes out the other side smiling#he is still hurt but he finds ways to feel happiness too#and it's impressive to see him change his attitude toward the same actions#and it's heart-warming to see others changing their behavior towards him#i just love vax#i love liam#i am in my feels#it's six something am#i am almost in tears#vax'ildan#vax#vex'ahlia#vex#keyleth of the air ashari#keyleth#shaun gilmore#vox machina#critical role#liam o'brien
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in the amelia pond au, amelia’s aunt does still send her to therapy between doctor adventures, but since amelia is now secure in the fact that he’s Definitely Real since both rory and mels have also met him and because she lost a tooth last week from tripping on the stairs of the tardis, she doesn’t bite any therapists this time around. and besides, her therapist is a very funny lady. she reminds amelia of her doctor, with how her voice will flip and jump in volume and accent and tone on a whim, with how she’ll talk to amelia like they’re conspiring together. she keeps the pictures amelia draws of the doctor and their adventures for her, even hangs one or two on the walls. she listens very intently to every detail, which no adults in amelia’s life do save the doctor himself and river song, whenever she’s around. and best of all, whenever she tells amelia’s aunt that amelia is doing just fine, don’t you worry, she’ll grow out of this, she winks at amelia so that amelia will know her therapist is only playing along to wave away her aunt’s suspicion.
it is a little odd, though, that she insists on only being called Missy. but amelia is quite used to odd by now.
#not the point of this post but. please do imagine amelia and rory and mels and the doctor all having escaped from Real Actual Danger#rory has the energy of a cat with its fur all puffed up and looks like he’s either going to start crying or yelling at the doctor#mels is standing on the box the doctor got her so she could see the tardis console better and studying the way he flies it very intently#and amelia is still full of energy and adrenaline and can’t stop racing around the tardis like a hyperactive gerbil. because if she stops#she might have to be scared instead but if she can run long enough she’ll forget to be scared at all and when she collapses exhausted all#she’ll have left are the exciting happy memories#and then she misteps racing up the stairs. shouts! the doctor and mels and rory are all at attention immediately. mels moves first but rory#is closer and helps amelia back up. and then the doctor is crouching down in front of her. ‘let me see. oh that’s a lot of blood. that’s.#how much blood are you able to lose again? its more than this. probably.’ amelia’s whole face hurts. but the doctor’s rambling is familiar.#it helps. and he’s only so talkative when he’s sure he has a solution. besides. rory’s head’s nestled on her shoulder and mel’s got her#hands. the doctor wipes blood off her nose and her chin. tilts her head up and goes ‘aaa’ sticking his tongue out until she does it too.#and he tells her to feel her upper row of teeth with her tongue. she does until she finds the gap.#it still hurts. hurts more when she nudges it with her tongue all bleeding and raw. but she just lost a tooth! and you know what that means.#they have to find it. or else how will the tooth fairy leave her any money?#(the doctor hears her say that to mels as they search. and he glances off to the side and makes a note to go back and make sure it *was* her#aunt leaving her those coins. and not something else. which he does. and finds out her aunt wasn’t leaving her any coins at all.#he can’t just let that stand! so the doctor becomes amy’s tooth fairy as well.)#and that is how amelia loses a tooth on the tardis.#amelia pond au
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hit hardcore over the head with Vigilante Tiso brainrot again. not a single person is surprised
more specifically thinking about Xero and Tiso because god dammit those two make me so emotional
#happy screms#imagining the situation from both povs is just so…sad#one one hand: a father falling prey to an infection whilst still trying to protect-#-citizens and his family. his awareness fading as he fully succumbs to it. but knowing deep deep down he failed-#-lost in a mind no longer his own. aware in his last moments before the world becomes just light. that he attacked his family-#-waking up years later. the world has gone cold. the place is empty. you’re locked up-#-you’re weak. you can’t move or really think straight. you later realise your own children had to take up-#-protecting. they had to take up *your* role. awful feeling. you’re scared of lose yourself again. to hurt them again#THEN on the other hand: your world is falling apart#your friends are gone. your family is nearly gone. and you promised yourself you’d protect the place-#-you don’t even believe in some way that it’ll be ok. but youre stubborn. you won’t let your fathers sacrifices be in vain. you fight-#-because that’s all you know. then you find another kid. one abandoned. you had promised hornets mother you’d protect her. but this one-#-feels different. this one didn’t have anyone to make sure they’re ok. and you get what your dad was doing this whole time-#-knowing things weren’t ok. but still trying. even if it meant he wouldn’t be ok. and you do it too.#*sobbing in my hands the parallels of xero and tiso and then tiso and ghost. i didn’t even realise the dynamics until now*#don’t perceive me. or do. i’m being sad about bugs again. i need to doodle them
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who needs surgeons when you can just reread the book that defined your adolescence and get your heart ripped out for free
#i didn't get through a whole chapter before i started crying#this is about the dusk gate chronicles which nobody on the face of the planet has ever heard of lol#it's just. these books meant EVERYTHING to me#i've never connected so deeply with any other protagonist. like there are others i LIKE more but this is different#quinn (the protag) just feels... idk like the same as me. almost every decision she makes is the one i would make and our flaws are the same#the love interest reminded me so much of the real boy i was in love with too and that kills me now#the core philosophy of the book literally held our stupid dysfunctional relationship together a couple times#but even now that i'm out and regret ever knowing him the philosophy still means so much to me just in a different way#the rose garden i was trying so hard to cultivate and grow and protect turned out to be nothing but thorns#and the dandelions i used to root out are the happiness i needed all along. yes they're easier but it's easy now because it's right and good#and now it hurts bc these books brought me so much joy but now its stained with associations to someone who hurt me carelessly#in a character that made me want to fall in love#for fucks sake he has the same NAME even. Will this and Will that i can't take it!!!#god. maybe i could find a way to read kindle books in my browser so i can use a deadname replacer on him lol#rename him something that won't break my heart every damn time i read it#anyway. sorry for this i am very sad#dani.txt
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good evening i have rambled so much lately
#🌙.rambles#found out there's an acoustic version of some ff7r songs just now#sector 7 undercity melody.. uwahh tifa 🥹 fuck ff7 fanwars n the best girl n the ships n stuff that annoys me so much but#personally i relate quite a lot to tifa honestly. yeah. n yk aerith's the fav of apollo so. hehe c:#i was going to vent a bit again actually bcs it still.. hurts. yeah. i'm so torn n so confused w everything n#feels so helpless. but#idk even prom i don't really look forward to anymore i guess i can't help but be a bit sad#when i was younger. nah even last year i rmb wondering about it. n. yeah#i won't ever be able to experience myself what i dream of but. yeah.#so.. i just. i haven't met my online friends irl yet yk? i really love them i really want to meet some of them irl one day n then#there's the concert ! i was watching some live stuff earlier n music made me so happy.#i'm really. happy that yk. matty healy he recovered. he's doing so much better now n it gives me hope too#yk. helps me believe that eventually i too wld find my way again.#i really don't know right now but music just makes me happy. like yk all those instruments n it's just so beautiful. it's so beautiful.
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#I would kill my ex ‘p’ to become rich.#I would kill my ex ‘m’ to obtain even more beauty and attract even more people.#I would beat up my ex ‘b’ to the point of him almost dying to have a nice house and the best of the best of things.#I would beat up my bf ‘d’ to be more mentally stable so that I am balanced and at peace with myself and my life.#I would kill my ex ‘k’ to become a well known scholar who has many degrees in maths science and philosophy and to preform surgery&research#I would step on anybody to get to where I want to be in life if it meant making myself happy.#I just manipulated my bf into feeling bad for me because I genuinely just want to feel good and secure even if that’s at his expense.#he’s right.. I don’t care about anyone more than myself and I don’t think that’s a bad thing. why should I put someone above myself?#I’ll tell you what.. until someone can show me that being a good honest generous person can get me anywhere I’ll keep doing what works :)#grey god#puppets#and I genuinely just don’t like or care for others. there’s always something I want in return when it comes to relationships with others.#I find humans disgusting and faulty and I don’t care if I add to their pain because it’s usually to benefit me and if it doesn’t it’s to-#-get back at others for hurting me. or I’m bored. I probably have the most sick and twisted mind of anyone I know. I think people know that#-tho but they still keep me around and help me out whenever I need it. it’s all a show for me and for them. people are so stupid and they#-genuinely think doing the right think helps them. it doesn’t. it’s kind of sad. I just know that once ‘d’ realizes I’ve taken him for -#-everything he’s got it’ll be too late and he’ll have to deal with how much better I am than him and how much I’ve grown leeching off of-#-his emotional labor. I just jump from one person to another taking what I want and what I can. I don’t think I’ve genuinely loved anyone.#I’ve always been this way. I almost love people but then I just truly don’t. it’s more fun to see how far I can break them before#-they can’t do it anymore. I hope that everyone I’ve ever hurt continues to hurt forever and that they never grown or evolve.#’d’ told me tonight that I ruined his life. ‘b’ told me I ruined him. ‘m’ is a coward and he said he’ll never love again.#’k’ is a used up simple minded loser. ‘p’ is a stunted delusion addict with me issues for the rest of his life. notice I said me issues and#not daddy or mommy issues lol. I have tricked them all. they are all pathetic and whimpy fucks.#the day I grinded against ‘d’s sluty ass again after I ‘raped him’ he told me to go slow but it made me think.. what if I just raped him?#I could just do it and he won’t do shit about it. he’ll forgive me like always. he’s an insecure loser. I wanted to just take my dick-#and shove it down his throat and then ruin his hole with it#but I didn’t. I respected what he said but the fact that I thought about it isn’t good.
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