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whatiwillsay · 3 years

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submission: we need to talk about ttb (spade-riddles)

Hey Cam. Seeing that ask defending TTB’s doxxing has sort of pushed me to finally share some of my story on Tumblr, I guess. I haven’t had the opportunity to talk about this to anyone fully, so this will probably be long, but I hope you don’t mind me venting.

I’m one of the people that got emailed by TTB. I don’t feel comfortable posting this off anon, but I was in a Discord server with you and @bisluthq and some other people back in Dec/Jan. I don’t know if you remember me, but my name on there was one word and began with an L and ended with an S.

I want to share the full story, but I also don’t feel comfortable with sharing certain details publicly because I’m still very wary of getting outed further by her if she sees this, so I’m gonna be vague about some things

Request to her followers — If you see this, please don’t send this to her. Like I’m genuinely asking you not to because I don’t trust her not to cross any more lines. My dad is a major homophobe with serious anger issues who has literally been arrested for violence before, and she doesn’t really think carefully or maybe even care about how any actions she takes could lead to people being harmed, so I’m not eager to see how she might react.

Anyway, I first got an email back in December, and I was really freaked out by it at first. I spoke to one of my mutuals about it, and although we both agreed it was super weird and invasive and creepy, we ended up trying to see the funny side of it. So, I kinda just brushed it off and moved on. I was mainly just really confused about why I had been targeted because at the time, I thought it was only me who’d gotten an email like that. I didn’t understand why she’d specifically targeted me instead of other people who she clearly disliked a lot more.

About a week later, I saw someone on Tumblr mentioning a strange email, and I realised other people must have gotten them too. I spoke to Nat about what happened to me and ended up in the Discord

At the time, I felt like I’d gotten off really easy comparatively to others because I initially didn’t realise that she’d contacted anyone else. And so I tried to act chill about it because I didn’t want to make things about me, but honestly, I was extremely anxious. I felt on edge for over a week. I would keep checking her blog again and again because I was super worried that she would post our personal details publicly. I scrolled through my entire blog from start to finish and deleted a lot of posts that were either personal or that I just didn’t want anyone I knew in real life to read.

This part I have to be vague about because it would basically give away who I am, but it was only a while later when I thought I was in the clear that someone I knew in real life texted me and mentioned seeing a weird email about me. The email had been sent a while back, and they’d been shown it by the original recipient/s. Multiple people had been shown it, but luckily (kinda), only two of those people were actually people I saw on a regular basis

I’m mostly closeted, but I’m kind of technically out to a few of my immediate family members. But it’s very much a DADT situation because they’re not accepting, and they like to just pretend I’m straight. And so I basically have to act closeted even when I’m around them, and I can’t even ALLUDE to being gay.

But with my dad, it’s different. He’s very homophobic. I’m only gonna mention this next part so that people understand what kind of dangerous situation that TTB could have put me in. (And the other people that she doxxed too because she didn’t know how safe their individual situations were). It’s all really personal, and I wouldn’t ordinarily feel comfortable sharing any of this at all, even anonymously, but I think it needs to be said because her actions were extremely fucking irresponsible.

Right, so when I first “came out” to my dad, it was actually an accident, and he reacted… extremely badly. This was back in like… 2018 or 2019, I can’t remember the exact year

(TW // physical abuse, homophobia)

He was extremely angry, literally shaking. He yelled at me, he described in graphic detail how he was going to “break every bone in my body”, “strangle the life out of me”, “drown me”, etc. He kept telling me that I’m disgusting and going to Hell, you get the idea. He was having a lot of fun with making strangling motions and stabbing motions with his hands, and he kept slamming his hand onto the table. That went on for about 15 minutes, and then he stood up and threw a chair from the dining table at me. That was fun lol. And he punched me in the head pretty hard which kinda knocked me back. I felt dizzy, I had to sit down on the floor. At that point, my mum who had been crying and asking him to stop physically intervened, and he ended up storming out of the house instead. My mum’s a genuinely good person btw. She’s a little homophobic, but she cares about me a lot, and I’m very grateful for her. She hates him too, but she’s kinda stuck with him… It wasn’t her fault

He literally hates gay people. He complains about us on the regular. One time, he threw the remote at the TV and cracked the screen just because there was a gay male couple kissing onscreen. Another time, he threw a rock at a gay man on the street. There was also a time where he forced a few of my siblings (who didn’t want to do it) to throw peeled oranges out of the window at people celebrating pride while he drove past them and yelled insults at them. He found that really funny. Anyway, I’m sure you guys get the idea of what kind of person he is

He hasn’t laid a hand on anybody in several months though, so I do think he’s trying to be better at least. Like he’s still verbally abusive and controlling and awful, but I appreciate that he’s at least making an effort to calm down with the hitting and kicking and stuff

Anyway, with my dad, it’s less DADT and more that I think he’s got it in his head that he managed to scare me into “seeing the error of my ways” and that I’ve “stopped choosing to be gay” and that I’m now straight. So, if it had been HIM who had gotten that email, it would’ve been like… extremely bad. Like I’m getting anxious just thinking about it. And this is why I’m so angry at TTB. It was extremely, extremely irresponsible of her to not consider these kinds of possibilities before she sent out her stupid emails. She’s supposed to be an ally, but it didn’t even cross her mind that these emails would lead to people being outed and possibly even harmed?? It’s not okay at all. I’m just very grateful that she didn’t send one to him because I don’t even know what kind of situation I would be in right now.

Anyway, enough about my fucking awful dad… I feel uncomfortable that I even typed all of that out, but I wanted people to understand how dangerous her actions could have been. Like I mean, my dad’s got PTSD and extreme anger issues from his teenage years, so I do try not to judge him TOO harshly, but there’s no excuse for being a huge bigot or occasionally violent. The idea of him being the one who got that email is still so scary to me. Like my heart is racing just thinking about it

One of the people that DID read the email was the male friend I mentioned earlier though. He was shown it by someone else for a particular reason, and he was a very important person to me. Like he was a good guy, we were close, he helped me out with certain personal issues I have and is one of only two people that I know in real life that I felt comfortable confiding in about them. We’d always meet up once a week, sometimes twice, and we’d just talk about stuff and make an effort to help each other out with things. Like he was very important to me.

It turns out that he’d looked through my blog before I’d got around to scrubbing it, and he asked me if I was gay in person the next time we met up. I couldn’t lie because like… he’d have known I was lying right to his face. So, I told him I was, and you should have seen his face. It made me feel so awful about myself. He looked really stunned and shocked and kinda uncomfortable. Like it got so awkward, and I started rambling and making things worse. He was avoiding eye contact, and my voice was shaking.

I ended up making up an excuse to leave about 5 mins later and had an actual anxiety attack. Again, this is embarrassing and something I’d never usually talk about online, but I just want to get it all off my chest so that I can move past it all.

So, I was like on the verge of tears (I don’t cry easily), I couldn’t breathe properly, I was pacing around the building, and I just wanted to escape, so I headed straight for the doors. There was a queue of about 100 people lined up and waiting to leave, and I couldn’t think straight or breathe and just needed to be outside, so I tried to go out through the other exit which is for staff only. The security guard stopped me and basically publicly humiliated me in front of all of those people. He loudly shamed me and said I “didn’t have any decency” for attempted to jump the queue, lectured me in this really condescending tone, and then sent me right to the back of that huge line. Meanwhile, I was literally in the midst of a bad anxiety attack.

And then I eventually got outside and had to call my mum to come and pick me up instead of just making my own way home like I usually do. She’s amazing though tbh because she actually came to get me and didn’t even question why. I had to skip all of my plans for the rest of the day and instead just hid upstairs in my bedroom with the lights off until the next day. I refused to tell any of my family members what had happened even though they kept asking. I just felt so, so awful, and my anxiety was through the roof

To be honest, before that happened, my mindset was like: “I mean, if I get outed, it obviously wouldn’t be good, but I think I’d be able to deal with it fine”. But then, when it actually happened, and I saw the way my close friend reacted, I had like a whole emotional breakdown lol. It’s like, you think you’d be fairly chill in a situation, but when it actually happens, your reaction can be really unpredictable. I was so embarrassed by everything about that entire incident. I didn’t even want to show my face the next day.

It’s been almost two months since that happened, and in that entire time, my friend has contacted me once. We literally used to meet up once or twice a week (and during lockdown, we’d do video calls or phone calls instead), but since then, we’ve barely even spoken. Things are just so awkward now. I know this sounds stupid, but I feel like TTB’s taken one of my best friends away from me. I don’t think he’s a homophobe or anything, he has openly gay friends and is fairly accepting, but I think it’s just the way that he found out that has just made things so weird between us now. I feel like if I’d had the chance to come out to him myself in my own way, he wouldn’t have reacted like that. But I’m gonna text him next week and see if we can maybe try to fix our friendship, but I doubt it at this point

The other people who were shown the email, I mostly just avoid. I don’t really care about them knowing that much because I wasn’t close to them, but it’s just really embarrassing knowing that they probably scrolled through my Tumblr blog before I scrubbed it

And about Tumblr… This used to be the only place that I could fully be myself. It was like a “safe space” for me which feels ironic now. But I haven’t been active on my blog since December. I still lurk occasionally, but I just don’t feel comfortable here anymore. I did consider deleting my current blog and starting afresh with a new one, but I don’t think it’d make much of a difference… Like she’s kind of ruined Tumblr for me. I do still enjoy reading people’s blogs every now and then, but I don’t feel relaxed here anymore, I just feel on edge.

It’s mainly the fact that SHE’S still here. She still has a platform, she still has a bunch of followers. It’s been so hard seeing her face next to no consequences whatsoever for the horrible things that she’s done to so many different people. And it upsets me that she hasn’t even acknowledged that what she did was wrong. Plus, it makes me feel even worse that the Hard Kay blogs and some other people are still supporting her and pretending that this whole thing just didn’t happen. Like do they just not care? Or is it that she’s twisted things and made them believe that the situation was different to what it actually was?

And tbh, this whole situation has even set me back in my own sort of personal self-acceptance journey. I had such bad internalised homophobia when I was younger, and it took me so many years to get to a place where I had mostly accepted myself. But now I just feel ashamed again, and I’ve gone back to my old habit of trying to force myself to be attracted to men. Like I downloaded Tinder the other day and set my preference to men and was swiping through profiles. It’s kinda silly actually. I did snap out of it and delete the app the next day though. But I don’t know, I feel like this whole thing has just kinda fucked with me a bit. I am trying to work this stuff out and get back to normal though. I think I’ll be good again in maybe a month or so, hopefully.

And… yeah. I just really resent her, and this situation upsets me. Because the reason she did this was so petty and ridiculous, and I guess she didn’t even realise how much it would impact people? Like I do know that my situation wasn’t as bad as some of the other people’s situations, and I feel really bad for them, and I hope they’re all doing okay. I can’t imagine what it must have been like for them. But it still has impacted me a lot more than I actually thought it would. I thought I’d get over it within a couple of weeks. But it’s been like two months, and I’m still not completely over it

I know it might not sound like a huge thing, but being outed really does affect you, even if it’s only to a few people. Because to me, I feel like I’ve had my sense of like, security and comfort taken away, and it’s kinda distressing. Sorry if I sound dramatic with any of this, I just really needed to say all of this stuff to other people besides myself lol

Like her actions have literally led to me being outed to a few people. A close friendship that I had has basically been ruined. I don’t feel comfortable or secure on Tumblr anymore, even though it used to be an important outlet for me. I’ve had a resurgence of anxiety about my sexuality. Etc.

And again, my dad is extremely homophobic and literally made death threats to me and physically attacked me back when I accidentally came out to him in 2018 or 2019. And if he had gotten that email, I don’t even know what would have happened. I don’t think he would have like… SERIOUSLY physically harmed me, but there would definitely have been a repeat of the first incident. More throwing chairs at me and hitting and screaming and death threats. I don’t really want to think about it.

It just bothers me that she didn’t even consider that? Like did it not even cross her mind? And my dad is bad, but I’m sure there are people in the fandom who have even worse parents, and she could have got one of those people instead. It’s just so… I don’t know, it’s just so frustrating to me.

Anyway, I just hate her for what she did… Like maybe I shouldn’t, but I really do resent her so much, and I don’t think I could forgive her even if she apologised to us all (which I don’t think she even would because she doesn’t seem to have any decency whatsoever). The least she could do is at least express some kind of remorse, but she just genuinely doesn’t care, and that’s super messed up. All over some stupid Tumblr blog that is much less important than she thinks it is.

But anyway… I apologise for the whole rant, and if anybody read all the way down to here, I appreciate it. I do actually feel a bit better now that I’ve got this all typed out. And I’m sorry for the oversharing lol, I usually don’t do this, but I just felt like I really needed to tell people and get it off my chest so that I can try to get over it — L

submisssion⬆️⬆️⬆️

ok L i am trying to remain calm here because this isn’t about me. but i am very emotional right now. i am so so so infinitely sorry that you had to go through this harrowing and terrifying experience. ttb (now blogging under spade-riddles) is absolutely disgusting, lower than dirt, that she would put your life, safety, and well-being at risk over a fucking kaylor blog.

please please please im me or get in touch somehow because i want to offer you support. have you been financially impacted by this? we can raise money. do you need therapy? we can help you find the support you need. this community is unequivocally here for you. whatever you need, if it’s in my power to help you get it, i will. you have my solemn promise on that.

i am so deeply and desperately sorry that you have gone through this. i was shaking while reading your story.

i am in touch with other people and we are in discussion about the best way to let tumblr know what happened. this will be a safe space for you (and all of us) again if it’s the last thing i do. this community is 100% here for you in any way we can help, sending you all the support and love we have.

#submission #tw: abuse #tw: homophobia

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aelysianmuse · 4 years

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DESTIEL FIC REC

Okay, so, fanfiction is something that has brought me so much joy, entertainment and comfort during these hard times. These are the Destiel fics that I have bookmarked and would suggest for everyone to read. They are top notch in every department and I’ve read each and every multiple times. I wrote them down from the lowest word count to the highest and I linked the authors to their tumblr accounts, whenever I could find them, so please go shower them with love!

Touchstone - by xylodemon - Words: 3,519 - Summary: "You're in pain," Cas says finally. He sounds sad. (Episode tag for 11x03, the one where Dean is hurt but doesn’t think he deserves Cas healing him. Cas disagrees and makes heals him in loveliest, most tender way. Everything is beautiful.)

Colette - by englandwouldfall - Words: 4,218 - Summary: Cain’s prediction keeps ringing in his ears. He’s going to kill Crowley, then Cas, then Sam. It makes sense to him. He hates how much sense it makes, but there’s something almost poetic about it; it’s circular, neat, the Mark wants it. The Mark wants to destroy everything, but most of all it wants to destroy Dean. And that would do it. (Episode tag 10x14, Dean struggling with the Mark, unable to deal with all the anger and urge to kill and Cas trying to be his savior Collette. Feelings are acknowledged but things are far more complicated than that.)

Newton’s Third - by felolle - Words: 6,220 - Summary: “How can I be running from something when I’m racing toward it?” “I dunno -- kinda your thing.” Thanks for the call out, little brother (Episode tag 14x03, Cas helping Dean deal with Michael possession. Awesome character portrayal!)

Take me home tonight - by persephoneshadow - Words: 8,111 - Summary: The one where Cas wants to have sex and Dean is there to help (It’s a PWP where it takes some jealousy for Dean to get his head out of his ass - and Cas knows exactly what he’s doing)

Boys on film - by loversantiquities - Words: 8,540 - Summary: But maybe that’s what it is—maybe Castiel’s finally realized something Dean is too chicken to admit, despite the fact he’s been jerking off to the idea of Castiel fucking him for the past few weeks. The idea warms him as much as it pains him to think about, his friend not being able to talk to him about something like that. That has to be it—it’s the only explanation. Castiel likes him.“Or maybe he knows you do cam shows.”Dean chokes on his burger. (Basically Dean does cam-shows, Cas knows. They get it on in the end.)

Cuckoo and Nest - by komodobits - Words: 10, 190 - Summary: For a long time, Castiel thought that every earthly possession other than the immediately necessary was excess to requirement. But Dean – Dean who named his car, who keeps a photograph of his mother in his wallet, some thirty-plus years after her death, who still has the crumpled ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign with a sleeping pelican emblazoned on it from the Microtel outside of Roanoke where he first kissed Castiel, clumsy and unsure, under the unsteady fluorescence of an exhausted bathroom bulb – is sentimental.It puzzles Castiel, where Dean draws the line between what is meaningful and what it is worthless. (Boys walking on eggshells around each other, Castiel mistaking Dean’s neatness for annoyance about Cas’s lack of thereof, Dean mistaking Cas’s apprehension for having one foot out of the door. Miscommunication that gets resolved. It’s delightful!)

Just turn around and go - by Porcupinegirl - Words: 11,320 - Summary: Dean should be happy. His best friend and housemate of five years, Castiel, is moving out to live with his boyfriend, Balthazar. Dean's career is going great, so he can easily afford the house on his own now. This is just growing up, moving forward to the next phase of their lives.It would be awesome, if he weren't in love with Cas. (Some angst and miscommunication among roomies who are in love but needed a little push to finally do something about it, and that push is Cas deciding to move out and live with his actual boyfriend. Things work out just fine.)

So glad we made it - by annie d (scaramouche) - Words: 16,421 - Summary: At twelve years old, Dean makes a friend, who becomes his best friend, who will eventually become the love of his life. (Destiel fic in which they know each other since childhood and take their sweet-ass time with admitting to each other that they’re otp: meant to be. But it happens. Timeline of little snippets that show them falling in love and owning that shit up, at last!)

I know who I want to take me home- by annodominique - Words: 17,548 - Summary: The one where Dean and Cas are new workmates who hate each other's guts, are somehow forced into driving each other crazy because they secretly want to fuck, and they might have fallen in love with each other in the process. (Lots of sexual tension, mutual pining and enemies to lovers storyline - all in a nursing home. It’s amazing and absolutely heartwarming.)

Welcome to humanity - by winnywriter - Words: 19,944 - Summary: Castiel is falling, slowly but surely becoming fully human. Every day there is something new to discover, and many of those discoveries are not wholly pleasant ones. And the whole time, Dean can't help but worry about the fact that the further the angel falls, the more he finds he likes the human Cas is becoming. (It’s exactly what the summary says it is. Moments of Castiel slowly becoming human and Dean trying to help him navigate that path while navigating it himself in the most Dean way possible)

On air - by wincechesters - Words: 21,219 - Summary: Cas and Dean are radio DJs who host the second most popular morning show in Lawrence. They’ve been co-hosts for years at different stations across the country, and they own a house together out of necessity, even though they’re just friends. But for some reason, a lot of their listeners and even some of their friends and family seem to think that they’re secretly in some kind of relationship, which they’re totally not (besides that one time that totally doesn’t count). In spite of that, Dean thinks he’s got everything figured out, until an ill-fated on air game of Truth or Dare turns everything upside down (and the billboards around town aren’t helping either). (Friends to lovers story that’s very well summarized, so I have nothing to add except that it’s such a wonderful read, this author is absolutely amazing and you should definitely read it.)

The Beach House in the Winter - by englandwouldfall - Words: 23,715 - Summary: They're not exactly in a good place right now, so it was probably a bad idea to agree to a full Milton family reunion at their old summer haunt to mark a year since Cas' father died.Obviously, he did it anyway. (This is a second part of a series, I absolutely suggest reading all of the works ‘cause they’re equally wonderful, but I read this one first and individually and loved it the most so I’m suggesting it. Look at tag warnings. It’s about Dean having panic attacks mid sex due to trauma, Castiel trying to treat him right and handle the situation properly. They love each other so much ugh)

There are many things - by imogenbynight - Words: 28,807 - Summary: In which Dean and Castiel learn, through trial and error, how to be together. (What starts out as an angsty fic that follows Cas’s human experience after Dean kicked him out of the bunker, turns into a Destiel falling in love fic as they find their way back to one another)

Sometimes it fits - by ballsdeepinwinchesters - Words: 37,720 - Summary: Castiel is an over-worked, socially awkward neurosurgeon; Dean is the ruggedly handsome paramedic that asks him out for drinks. The rest kind of fell into place. (Two hotties with busy work schedules having lots of sex and being domestic. It’s a lot of fluff and smut. No angst.)

Put up your dukes - by saltyfeathers - Words: 38, 282 - Summary: Dean can't sleep. Cas offers to tire him out. (Dean struggling to accept the sexual tension relief Castiel is oh-so-eager to offer. So much tension, sparring goodness and bed sharing.)

All’s well that ends well - englandwouldfall - Words: 52,326 - Summary: Dean knew the second he took off that he shouldn't have left, but that didn't mean he could have guessed what he'd be coming back home to. (It’s actually a part 4 of the series, and I do suggest reading the entire series, but I read it first and individually before even realizing this and I absolutely loved it nonetheless. It’s about both Dean and Cas having made some poor choices in the past, abandonment and infidelity and two of them loving each other so much that they’re willing to forgive and fight for each other no matter what. Angsty and beautiful.)

A midterms night’s dream - by englandwouldfall - Words: 75,756 - Summary: There's at least fifteen good reasons why they're not sleeping together, it's just that Dean can’t remember them when Cas sends him one second dirty snapchats to goad him into doing the dishes. (One of my absolutely favorite fics and one of my top 3 fic authors (does a lot of series, which gets you really emotionally invested!). I suggest you read literally every single Destiel story written by this author, ‘cause it’s consistent in character portrayal and in invoking emotional response and I’ll probably explicitly write down at least one more story that I particularly liked from them. This one’s about them being college roomates who’re basically oblivious to sharing sentiment of wanting to be in relationship with the other, so they pine emotionally while having exceptional we-are-strictly-fuck-buddies sex)

Version 2.0 - by elizabeth1985 - Words: 75,937 - Summary: Life is nothing but a series of processes. We rise, we work, we function within the walls we’ve designed for ourselves. Dean Winchester does not deviate from this system. Heavily tattooed and a certified genius; Dean necessitates control. Relationships are a no-go. Too messy, unpredictable. And yeah, he knows having casual sex with his best friend, roommate, and business partner is a dumbass move. But Cas’ suggestion is impossible to resist.What Dean doesn’t expect and couldn’t possibly predict is the unique way Cas manages to shut down his mile-a-minute mind, giving him a level of inner peace he’d thought to be unattainable.What starts out of convenience morphs into a dynamic emotional slide neither of them were prepared for, forcing them to decide what they’re willing to risk. (Cas and Dean being business partners turning to fuck buddies turning to mutually pining idiots, where Cas won’t let things progress further ‘cause Dean is so entwined in every single aspect of his life that he’s absolutely terrified to lose it all. But Dean makes an effort to show him otherwise!) + It’s hard to fool around in a tent (Words: 5,861)

Any little heartbreak - by followthattardis - Words: 76,897 - Summary: Dean Winchester knows everything there is to know about the human heart. Well. Anatomically speaking. (Very Grey’s Anatomy-y, Dean is a thriving cardiosurgeon, Cas is his new surgical nurse assistant, there are so many well written characters, so much gossip, gratuitous sex and eventually a relationship. It’s so lovely, ugh I love this writer.)

A crash course in computer safety - by followthattardis - Words: 85,269 - Summary: On the day of his 29th birthday, Dean receives an email from his old nemesis: Michael Milton, the guy who got him kicked out of college and stole his girlfriend. The email contains encoded images with top secret CIA/NSA intelligence – and now their only copy is in Dean’s brain. Both agencies send their best operatives – Castiel Novak and Victor Henriksen respectively – to handle their accidental asset and protect the invaluable data in his head. To justify their sudden appearance in Dean’s life, they adopt covers: Victor as Dean’s new co-worker and neighbor, Cas as his new boyfriend. Needless to say, Dean’s brother and his girlfriend are thrilled to see him in a relationship they believe to be real. Clearly, there’s no way this could go wrong. (This is a NBC: Chuck AU and one of my top 3 fics ever. I haven’t watched Chuck at all and regardless of whether you have or not, I don’t wanna write anything else in this section ‘cause I enjoyed discovering every bit of information on my own. I’ve literally taken this fic and studied/analyzed it as a writer myself to take pointers on accurate character portrayal and writing style. It’s book material, I’d literally buy anything this author writes. It’s becoming a series and more content is to come so I suggest subscribing.) + Curtain up (Words: 10,311)

La hantise (The only work in progress fic here) - by quiettewandering - Words: 87,468 - Summary: Castiel’s mother dies, leaving him the family home that sits abandoned on the moody coast of Maine. He’s forced to return to the past ghosts of his trauma, as well as meeting the mysterious and nomadic Dean Winchester. Dean offers to help Castiel fix up the house so he can sell it, which quickly becomes problematic as Castiel begins to develop feelings for Dean; especially when details of Dean’s troubling past come to light.This is a story about the sea, second chances, and two broken, forgotten people building a love between them while restoring a broken, forgotten house. (Romance, ghosts, house renovation, cliffhangers, angst - I am awful with WP’s, never read them till they’re done ‘cause I’m an impatient one but this is the one I couldn’t resist and thoroughly enjoy)

Ignore the butterflies: best friend advice from Dean Winchester - by impatient14 - Words: 114,837 - Summary: Dean likes his doctor, but his doctor doesn’t like him.Accidental friendship ensues, heartwarming bonding type moments occur, and oops!friends become best!friends.But best friends aren’t supposed to feel the way Dean feels about Castiel. He knows this. So he ignores all the things that he can’t help feeling. When he sits and watches a movie with his best friend or when they are arguing about which method of coffee brewing is best, he pointedly doesn’t look at his friends lips, or the adorable way he tilts his head when he doesn’t understand.Dean ignores his feelings.That’s the way he knows how to keep his best friend.Just ignore the butterflies. (Dean is a heroic firefighter who ends up in stand-offish Castiel’s ER and flirts mercilessly with him, but to no avail. Cas is not made of stone, though, he’s just trying to protect his little heart ‘cause Dean does scary heroic things. It’s super emotional, go read it.)

Keeping you in sight - by gingerswag - Words: 136,374 - Summary: Castiel valued his solitude, and was happy to stay hidden away in the mountains for the rest of his life. But when his seeing eye dog dies, that solitude is suddenly broken when Gabriel shows up not with another dog but an actual human slave. Castiel doesn't believe in slavery, but he can't turn away the very hurt and broken man he's given. (This is a slavery fic, look up the tag warnings! It’s extremely angsty, it has a very human and rational ending which not might satisfy those looking for a conclusive, expressed fairytale ending for these two. It’s about Dean having gone through a lot of trauma and Cas being extremely lonely and two of them trying to mend each other while going through an excruciatingly painful healing process. I don’t think I can summarize it in a way that envelops everything that happens in this fic - it’s a tougher read but absolutely wonderfully written and very angsty)

Stay with me, sweetheart - by mandalarose - Words: 142,926 - Summary: A single moment's distraction ends with a serious car accident that leaves Castiel trapped in his vehicle. Fortunately for him, fire fighter Dean Winchester is there, never leaving Castiel's side as the rest of his company work to free him from the mangled remains of his SUV.When the two meet again in the ICU, Castiel finds himself just as drawn to and comforted by the handsome fireman as he was during his accident. Dean is certainly attractive, but single father Castiel doesn't have time or space in his life for a romantic relationship.Then again, there's no harm in making a new friend, is there? (Dean is so whipped, so is Cas but he tries really hard not to get invested ‘cause everyone leaves and it’s not a commodity he can afford now that he’s got a baby. Thankfully for him, Dean is all-in kind of guy who’s gonna make all the right choices, one after another, fighting to show Cas that he can have what he desires and deserves, even after multiple attempts of Cas’s to push him away. Love conquers all!)

Four Letter Word for Intercourse - by bendingsignpost - Words: 194,739 - Summary: As a grease monkey turned college freshman, Dean's constantly three seconds away from being stressed out of his mind. It hardly helps that he's finally figuring out his sexuality in his thirties.What might help with that stress is a little phone number (and a big credit card bill). If he can't figure out how to be bisexual in person, he can at least give it a go over the phone, right? (I think I probably read this story a hundred times. Fantastically written fic where Dean is a student discovering his sexuality through a phone sex line, struggling with having to take over family business and Cas is a professor with a sidejob, with whom Dean interacts wordlessly at the library. It tackles on mental health, on wonderful sex dynamics, coming out and lots of other stuff. It’s one of the best writen fics out there, along with the other works in this series that I highly suggest to read: A Little Anal - Words: 18,805 and What makes a man kneel - Words: 9,920)

#destiel #deancas #supernatural #destiel fic #destiel fic rec

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cherryonigiri · 4 years

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the retrospective: alice’s 1k special || lover masterlist

matchup requests: CLOSED

@differentballooncollection asked: hi bb!! congrats on 1K you totally deserve it!! could I get a match up please? I'm a ENTP and a slytherin. five adjectives about me are: ambitious, bluntly honest, straightforward, tenacious, and kind (like I'm tough energy but it's a front I'm really soft inside haha). I've been getting into dark academia style recently. my hobbies are: flying (I'm a pilot) painting and reading. my favourite drink is probably iced jasmine tea!! THANK U AND CONGRATS U DESERVE IT

A/N: Omg hi!!! I remember you were one of the first people to follow me when I came back to tumblr and started to write again! Thank you so much for sticking around until now!!! That’s so cool that you’re a pilot 😱- alice

Your matchup is: Bokuto Koutarou

How you met: I feel like you somehow had mutual friends with Bokuto! Maybe you met Hinata in Brazil because you fly those small planes for the tourism industry in Rio! You end up back in Japan though, and once you’re back Hinata immediately wants to hang out. Probably invites you to a house party one time and Bokuto happens to be there. He’s immediately drawn to your ambitious nature - you seem to be really passionate about what you do + it’s so cool that you’re a pilot! (hey hey hey). He charms you into exchanging numbers and the two of you flirt over text + occasional coffee chats for a bit before he asks you out!

Your first date: Honestly you probably plan your first date - maybe you take him flying in a small plane (i’m so sorry I do not know how piloting/flying works exactly) and ofc he helps pay for the charter/plane rental because he is making that $$$ as a pro-athlete. Either that or you’ll probably do something active like going to a beach for a day or hiking! Treats you like a complete gentleman and insists on paying, but will compromise on splitting 50/50 if you insist.

Your first kiss: I feel like Bokuto is the kind of guy who makes a big deal out of a lot of “firsts” in your relationship, and your first kiss with him is no exception. I feel like once he starts thinking about kissing you it’ll be pretty obvious - he won’t be able to stop staring at your lips and will get all blushy whenever you get close to him or kiss him on the cheek. Is definitely a sweetheart who asks you “can I really kiss you?” with the widest most genuine expression. When you say yes he has the biggest smile before enthusiastically pressing his lips to yours.

Anniversary: Definitely will plan a surprise celebration. He kinda isn’t the best at keeping secrets, so you know something is going to happen, but you’re not quite sure what. He ends up having a game on one of your anniversaries so he’s a bit upset he can’t spend the whole day with you, but ends up surprising you when you come down to the locker room to congratulate him! He convinced his teammates to help him set up the hallway outside the locker room into a cute little celebration with a poster + confetti and streamers. After he showers and changes the two of you enjoy a dinner at a fancy restaurant you made reservations at.

How they propose: Once again, plans it out pretty meticulously. He spends a whole day taking you around the city to different places that have meant a lot to you throughout your relationship. Probably ends the evening with a picnic at the local park. While you’re distracted by the night sky he pulls out the ring and kneels behind you. He practiced what he wanted to say because he wants this to be one of the moments you both remember for the rest of your lives.

What your wedding looks like: a large wedding bc he has a big family + he wants to invite a lot of his extended family + at this point he’s friends (either directly or by association) with half of the volleyball players in Japan so there’s a pretty long list of people who are invited. Doesn’t mind spending a lot on making sure the wedding is great. I feel like you two would have an indoor ceremony that has a very luxurious feel. Nothing over the top but definitely have some exquisite centerpieces and a giant cake.

Newlywed/domestic hc: He always gives you a good morning kiss and a kiss before he leaves for practice. Now that you live together his favorite thing is cooking breakfast together. He’ll start playing music at 8 AM and sing-along to it while frying eggs (imagine shirtless Bokuto COOKING). He’s a sap - his rule is that the minute he gets home he has to kiss you first before anything else. He also loves kissing/playing with your hands + wedding ring while you two are cuddling on the couch.

#haikyuu matchups #bokuto x reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu #bokuto koutarou #bokuto koutarou x reader #bokuto kotaro #bokuto kotaro x reader #haikyuu imagines #fukurodani #the retrospective #alice's 1k special

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inacatastrophicmind · 5 years

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hi! do you have a fic rec page? i'd love to see what your all-time fav destiel fics are

I don’t have a fic rec page. I've been thinking about making one for a long time, but I haven’t. Still, I’m going to list some of my favorite fics and add the summary.

Burden by riseofthefallenone (WIP, mutant!AU)

Mutants are considered second class citizens, or worse. Discriminated against at every turn, mutants are marked and monitored by The Registry and any deemed too dangerous are taken away to The Facility. It’s no surprise that many try to hide or choose a more permanent way out if a mutation develops.

Castiel’s parents hid his mutation and hid him away from the world. He’s grown up with the knowledge that the world will hate him, no matter what he does. If he leaves the house, he can only do it with a long, heavy coat that covers the most beautiful part of him.

It takes a pair of brothers to help him really spread his wings and live.

Cuckoo And Nest by komodobits (canon!verse)

For a long time, Castiel thought that every earthly possession other than the immediately necessary was excess to requirement. But Dean – Dean who named his car, who keeps a photograph of his mother in his wallet, some thirty-plus years after her death, who still has the crumpled ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign with a sleeping pelican emblazoned on it from the Microtel outside of Roanoke where he first kissed Castiel, clumsy and unsure, under the unsteady fluorescence of an exhausted bathroom bulb – is sentimental.

It puzzles Castiel, where Dean draws the line between what is meaningful and what it is worthless.

the cost of a thing by quiettewandering (canon!verse)

16 months ago, Cas became human.

12 months ago, Cas left the bunker and a broken-hearted Dean behind.

Now they must work a case together, where married couples are dying mysterious deaths and the only way to earn the neighbors' trust is by pretending to be married. Slowly, Dean finds that he loves being in a relationship with Cas, fake or not, and Cas finds his loneliness retreating, despite the harsh reality looming right around the corner. As Dean and Cas navigate this fake, but all too real, relationship, can they find the monster that is on a mysteriously motivated killing spree before it’s too late?

'Cause I'm Yours by FeaRauko(canon!verse)

He steps outside during Sam and Eileen's wedding reception for a breather.Dean follows him.

That one where Cas is so very tired of pretending that he isn't madly in love with Dean...or as though he can't clearly see the way Dean loves him back.

Scarsby lemonsorbae(punk!dean and hipster!cas AU)

Dean Winchester doesn’t answer to anybody about anything. Not about his ever changing hair color or tattoos, not his music, and definitely not about all the fucks he definitely doesn’t give. Of course, then he meets pretentious, skinny jean wearing, ugly sweater buying Castiel Edlund who’s hardest lot in life is probably alphabetizing inventory at his uncle’s record store, and suddenly Dean has to answer for everything.

Castiel, on the other hand, had long since accepted his fate as an anti-social, directionless, and misunderstood soul, with his cat, Meg, and a bottle of whiskey being the only company he needed. But then fate threw him Dean, the abrasive, infuriating punk who wears guyliner, and walks around like the chip on his shoulder is something to be proud of, and Castiel’s carefully constructed life was turned ass over teakettle.

After a heated exchange upon first meeting, a mutual loathing afterwards, and the glaring opposites in their lives, neither of them sees the point of mixing oil and water. Which would be all good and well, except neither of them seems to be able to stay away from the other.

Stand By Me by whelvenwings (post-apocalypse!AU)

Dean Winchester has been alone for a long, long time.

When he and Castiel happen to find each other - a couple of survivors in a world that’s been all but wiped clean - Dean’s looking for his brother; Castiel is looking for something to look for. They stick together, because neither of them much wants to be alone. They hate each other at first, of course. Dean hates Castiel for being weird and quiet and ironic and antagonistic and proud. Castiel hates Dean for being blunt and reckless and coarse, for drinking, for refusing to talk about how he feels and just pretending everything is fine. Most of all, they hate themselves and each other just for being alive. What right do they have to be alive? No one else seems to be.

But against his own will, Dean starts to notice things about Castiel that he likes. Starts to hope that Castiel might like him, too. And together, they start to fight for a world where they're both alive - and that's a good thing.

Rest in Pieces by xylodemon (canon!verse)

"Goddamned ghosts," Dean snaps, stabbing his shovel into the dirt. "Goddamned Heaven."

(or: the one with the Ghost Apocalypse)

A Priori by K_K_TiBal, whelvenwings (WIP, Hogwarts!AU)

Dean Winchester and Castiel Novak are headed to Hogwarts.

Castiel, as a member of the old Novak wizarding family, is fully expected to be sorted into Ravenclaw, like all of his ancestors before him. Dean, as a Muggle-born, has no idea what the Houses even are. With a surprise sorting and classes starting soon afterwards, they're both pitched headfirst into the unknown - and they find themselves in competition with each other almost at once, both of them needing to prove themselves to the people they left at home, and the people with them at Hogwarts.

Over the course of their seven years at Hogwarts, Dean and Cas learn what it means to prove yourself, what it takes to discover who you are, what it feels like to fall in love, and what it is they'll fight for - what matters most of all.

Love: A Retrospective by xylodemon(canon!verse)

Pretending Cas is just his friend has been the only thing keeping Dean's head on straight for years. He never realized how much doing that depended on him making himself scarce in the morning ─ not until Cas came back and moved into the bunker.

where the weeds take root by loneprairies (canon!verse)

“Are you happy? Y’know. Just—being here,” Dean says, gesturing to the yard with his beer bottle. “Being with—I mean, you used to fight in celestial wars and—and save the world. Now you’re growing vegetables and talking about chickens.”

These Violent Delights by Persephoneshadow (canon!verse)

A newly mortal Castiel wants to understand humanity, and a little Shakespeare is just the thing to help him. Of course, it takes a little bit of prodding, but soon the Winchesters (along with Kevin and Charlie) are all part of the world's weirdest reading club. Of course, the poetry starts having an effect on everyone...

The Five People You Meet in Heaven by amarillogrande(canon!verse)

Heaven is white.

Well. Isn’t that fucking stereotypical.

Dean isn’t really sure how he got here. Or even why he’s here. And hell, for all the times the Winchesters have died, he thinks he ought to know the drill by now. But what he doesn’t know is when most folks go, they find something different.

There’s a system God put in place. That when you’re gone (for good), there are a couple things you gotta do first. There are five people waiting for you.

They are the five people you meet in heaven.

Castle on a Cloud by whelvenwings (fantasy!AU)

Dean Winchester has his whole life planned out. Becoming a warrior is all he’s ever dreamed about, since he was tiny - saving people, hunting monsters; quests and deeds and swords and glory. He’s done his training and he’s ready to become a Savaşçı, a knight of the realm. All that stands in his way is the Vigil, a night-long contemplation of his past and future in the chapel just outside the city walls. The only rules: no eating, no speaking, and no opening the door.

Easy, right?

Very easy. Until there’s a knocking, and a voice from outside that pleads for his help…

So begins Dean’s journey, and his path will take him far - across the desert, through the forests, over the mountains and beyond. But his mysterious blue-eyed companion is keeping secrets, and Dean has a few of his own. Will he be able to let go of his fear before they come to the Castle on a Cloud?

Chili Peppers by justanothersong(professors!AU)

Dr. Winchester hears an off hand comment from one of his students and find himself browsing a website dedicated to rating university professors. He's not surprised by his rating -- but is a little miffed to see the department chair has an even better one. Clearly, something needs to be done about this.

Chasing Cars by ratherbehere(college!AU)

After an awkward accidental encounter at a local strip club, Castiel discovers his college roommate, Dean, has a secret career as a stripper, and their relationship begins to change and a bond begins to form. They face the joys and challenges of life together and discover along the way how deeply they've come to care for each other.

Redemption Roadby spnredemption (canon!verse)

Given that this is a huge series, and each part has a different summary, I’ll summarize it as a post season 6 fic in which Team Free Will try to save the world.

A Little Patience by riseofthefallenone (modern setting AU with elements of High School, College and Coffee shop)

The first part summary: It sometimes feels a little wrong thinking debauched things about a guy who could very well be one of Sammy’s teachers. But then those wrong feelings go up in smoke when the downright sinful fantasies kick in just from thinking the word ‘teacher’. Those are always pretty darn amazing and Dean has a very vivid imagination.

The second part is basically Cas’ POV of the story.

Casturbatus Interruptus by smallhorizons (canon!verse)

post-9.01, in a slight AU wherein Cas comes to live with the Winchesters at the Bunker. Written before 9.03. Crossposting from Tumblr. Written for a prompt from hightopsandsharpies: "Okay, so Cas is a virgin, and has no idea what pleasure is and Dean decides to show him and Cas gets all cuddly and needy afterwards."

Dean walks in on Cas masturbating. He’s doing it all wrong, but when you’re a bazillion-year-old virgin, that’s to be expected. Dean decides to lend him a hand in a totally platonic, non-romantic way. Things get a little out of control.

Not Part of the Planby Annie D (scaramouche) (Royalty and Human AU, this one is hard to describe. Better read all the tags)

Castiel's spent most of his adult life keeping his head down and staying out of trouble. This is a deliberate choice on his part, because as a cousin of the King, he'd rather stay unimportant and forgotten. This changes abruptly when King Michael decides that he has a better use for Castiel: he is to be wed to a noble member of the neighboring Republic, as part of an agreement between their two nations.

Castiel knows he has to obey, but that doesn't mean he won't rebel in what small ways he can. Unexpectedly, his actions end up having far-reaching consequences.

To Raise A Kingby riseofthefallenone (medieval!AU)

This must be some kind of horrible joke at Castiel’s expense. Is he truly expected to protect a King? One who has been their enemy for as long as he can remember? He is much more suited to being a part of the army, or at the very least someone who helps to train the knights. That would be far more preferred than having to watch over the King. It means Castiel would get to keep fighting – and that’s the only way he knows to give meaning to his life.

Painted Angelsby WinJennster (modern!AU with writer!cas and artist!dean)

Author Castiel Novak has finally hit the big time, with a book based on his failed college relationship with a brilliant painter. He's put all his pain behind him, but at a book signing, he comes face to face with Dean Winchester for the first time in twelve years, and the reunion doesn't go like Cas hoped. Dean's a broken man, with a lot of scars and secrets, shoulders weighed down by his demons and self loathing.Cas sees a second chance with the man he's never stopped loving, but Dean's moved on, and is about to get married. Sam launches a "brilliant" plan to reunite his brother and his best friend, but Cas is worried it will all blow up in their faces, and he'll go through the agony of losing Dean a second time.

Angel's Wildby LimonadeGaby, riseofthefallenone (Wing fic!AU)

But that’s the whole reason he’s here, isn’t it? He’s not out here hunting Humans. He’s not even hunting deer, or bears, or anything else that featured in Bambi. He’s out here, freezing his nuts off every night, because he’s hunting Angels.

Sometimes Dean wishes that Angels were like how they’re described in the Bible. How people from time too old for him to care much about thought Angels were messengers and warriors of God, protectors of Humans. He knows that how they’re really described in the Bible is actually pretty terrifying, but at least they were told by God that they’re supposed to love Humans, right?

That’s a thousand times better than what Angels really turned out to be.

The Pillow Verse byAnythingtoasted, clockworkrobots, inplayruns, nyoka, outpastthemoat, thepillowverse (canon!verse)

The Pillow ‘Verse was a tumblr-based Dean/Castiel round-robin fanfiction challenge that took place over Supernatural’s 2013 summer hiatus.

A canon-based domestic!fic shared universe set in the Men of Letter’s bunker, The Pillow ‘Verse follows Dean, Castiel, Sam, and their small cohort of rabble-rousers through stories of love, nest building, family, and healing following the 8x23 Supernatural finale Sacrifice.

This is a story of the things that happen after the fall.

#fic recs #Anonymous #my answers

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serenlyss · 5 years

Text

Concordat

Rating: G Relationships: ritsu&reigen, ritsu&shigeo Summary: He’s expecting another old woman searching for a beloved family cat, or maybe a young man concerned about a cheating partner, but instead he finds himself face-to-face with a kid. “Is this… Spirits and Such Detective Agency?" (When Reigen Arataka, PI, decided to pursue a career as a detective, he'd never expected to take on a missing persons case. Then again, he hadn't expected to receive said case from a literal child, either, and yet, here he is.) Crossposted to AO3: Concordat

Concordat - An agreement or treaty relating to matters of mutual interest.

This is a gift for my dear friends @winsstar-writes and @pigpantpoop on tumblr for their Detective AU, which I've just fallen in love with so fast hahaha. So here's more Ritsu and Reigen content bc I love their dynamic So Much. I hope you two like it, ily <3

---

Reigen sinks into his office chair, letting his whole body slouch with a long sigh. Business is slow at the agency today, and he’s bored out of his mind waiting for someone to show up and give him something to do. Outside his window, he can hear rain hitting the sill, a gentle summer storm outside chasing the pedestrians indoors. He has no clients scheduled for the rest of the day, and it’s only just past lunch, which means he’s going to spend the rest of the work day sitting around, doing nothing.

He rummages around in his suit pocket for a cigarette and lighter, leaning over his desk. He holds the cigarette between his lips and lights it up, uncaring of the cloud of smoke that leaves his lips and hangs around him. Briefly, he thinks that he must stink of it, and that it won’t make a very good impression if a client walks in on him smoking in his own office, but he can’t bring himself to care, today. He leans back in the chair again, blowing smoke toward the ceiling. Maybe I should just pack it up, move on to something else, he laments with a frown. He’d left a comfortable office job for this, but, well, he’d always been a bit of a drifter. Perhaps the detective life just isn’t what he’s cut out for, after all.

The chime of a bell reaches his ear as the front door to his office is opened, and he hastily moves to put out his cigarette, pressing it down into the ashtray at the corner of his desk. “Come in,” he calls, voice cracking slightly as he attempts to put on his cheerful customer service voice, and pushes himself up from his chair to greet his guest.

He’s expecting another old woman searching for a beloved family cat, or maybe a young man concerned about a cheating partner, but instead he finds himself face-to-face with a kid.

“Is this… Spirits and Such Detective Agency?” asks the literal child who’s come to greet him. He can’t be older than ten, considering the primary school uniform he wears, and he looks up at Reigen from beneath a furrowed brow, dark gray eyes scrutinizing him carefully. His black hair sticks up in all directions, like he’d just rolled out of bed before coming here. Reigen is deeply unimpressed, but, well, it can’t hurt to humor a child for a little while.

“Yeah, this is the place. What can I do for you?” Reigen asks, opting for a plastic smile as he beckons the boy inside.

The boy shuffles a bit on his feet, looking around the office with undeniable skepticism written all over his face, and then reluctantly takes a step inside. The door falls quietly shut behind him, and he hovers in the entryway. His gaze is more deliberate and calculating than most adult clients Reigen’s had. “You’re the detective?” he clarifies, flashing Reigen that uncertain look again.

Reigen resists the urge to sigh. What was with this kid? “Reigen Arataka, PI, at your service! I must say, I don’t get a lot of kids coming here, though. What’s the matter, you lose something?” He can’t fathom why an elementary school student would come to him for answers, of all people, or what a kid would find so important that he’d need the help of a detective to find. It must be some kind of prank.

The kid shakes his head, clinging to the straps of his backpack as though he can’t figure out what else to do with his hands. “No--I mean, yes, but not like what you’re--I’m looking for my brother!” he stammers, fumbling over his words nervously. He looks away, seemingly embarrassed, his face flushed pink. “Nobody else I talked to would take me seriously… the police keep saying they’re going to find him, but they won’t even listen to me when I tell them--” Suddenly, the kid freezes, cutting himself off abruptly.

The mention of a missing brother makes Reigen pause in his tracks, halfway to his desk where he usually sits and consults with clients. He’s an only child himself, but the thought of losing a sibling… He shakes his head, turning to face the boy and raising a brow at him. “Tell them what?” he prompts, though he honestly isn’t really sure he wants to know.

The kid looks up at him with uncertainty, eyes filled with distrust, then glances away again. “My brother… he was kidnapped because he’s an esper,” he mumbles, and quickly adds, “I know it sounds stupid and crazy, but it’s true! I’ve tried to tell the police, but they don’t listen to me! Your sign said you specialize in psychic cases, right?”

Reigen freezes. He’d known at the time that adding that caveat was a stupid idea, but he hadn’t expected anyone to come to him about a missing esper. He’d only done it to attract the easily-manipulated types, the older folks who believe in spirits and the gullible people who think throwing around a little table salt is enough to exorcise them, but this is in a league of its own. “Esper?” he echoes, feeling the dread inside of him multiply.

“Yeah, that’s what I said!” The boy says, impatient. “Everyone keeps telling me to give it more time, but it’s been months now. I can’t give up on finding him!” He fixes Reigen with what is potentially the most determined expression the man has ever seen on such a young child, hands balled into tight fists that quiver with barely-contained emotion. “So? You can do it, right?”

For a few long moments, Reigen can do nothing but stare, and then he clenches his teeth, glaring. “Is this some kind of joke?” he blurts, annoyed. “It’s not funny, kid, so just give it up already.” The words come out a bit harsher than he intends them to be, a hint of spite behind them, but he can’t find it in himself to be remorseful.

He expects the kid to give up then, to either admit to his prank or burst into tears or do some other kid thing, but instead he gets angry. “I’m not lying!” he snaps, stomping a foot on the floor in his outburst. “Two months ago, my older brother disappeared while he was walking home from school. I wasn’t there ‘cause I was in the hospital, but I know he wouldn’t have just wandered off! Someone took him, and I need to find him!” He’s rambling, the words tumbling from his mouth without much forethought, and Reigen can practically feel his desperation in the air. He continues, “I-I can’t just leave things the way they were, I can’t. I have to find him, I’m going to find him. I have to be someone for him, be there for him! If I don’t try, then what kind of lousy brother am I?”

The kid sniffles and reaches up to his eyes, just inches in front of Reigen, and it’s only then that Reigen realizes that the child has begun to cry, big crocodile tears that leave his eyes red and puffy and his nose a little wet. He can feel his brain short-circuiting at the sight of the crying boy; he has very little experience with kids, and would never, in a thousand years, consider himself the kind of person a child goes to for help or comfort. And yet here one is, crying in the middle of his office and all but begging for his help. He takes a breath, steadying his racing thoughts. I’ve never attempted a missing person case before, he thinks to himself, but something keeps him from outright refusing. Ask me to find a cat, sure, but a whole-ass person? I’m not equipped for this… Then again, had he ever really been equipped for a job? He’d always prided himself on being flexible with the kinds of jobs he would take--’flexible’ is a lot nicer of a word than ‘unqualified’--and, well, crying children have a certain persuasion of their own about them.

He isn’t sure what possesses him to do it, but he reaches up and pulls the tan hat from his head, pressing it against the boy’s mop of dark hair with a gentle puff. “Alright, enough of the tears. It’s not exactly my line of work, but what the hell--heck, what the heck?” He corrects himself with a cringe of embarrassment, but the kid doesn’t seem to mind all that much as he peeks out from beneath the brim of Reigen’s too-large hat in bewilderment. “Why don’t we start with a name, huh? Since you barged in here and demanded I help you out.”

The boy blinks, and a little light returns to his dark gaze. “Oh, my brother’s name is Shigeo,” he says, a little breathless, like he’s still processing the fact that he’s finally receiving the help he’s been searching for.

“Well, I was talking about your name, but that’s important, too,” Reigen corrects, flashing the boy an amused smile.

The boy flinches, and immediately the bewilderment is gone, replaced by a childish little pout that’s probably meant to be angry but comes across more endearing instead. Endearing… god, what is wrong with me today? Reigen berates himself. He’s in way over his head. “Kageyama Ritsu,” the boy replies stiffly, clearly embarrassed and attempting to hide it behind a stubborn frown.

Reigen moves over to his desk and flips his pad open to a new page, retrieving a pen and starting to jot down the two names. There will be lots of details to gather, still, but for now he’ll stick to the basics. Once he’s written down the two names and started to organize his messy thoughts, he gestures Ritsu over to sit in the chair across from him. He sets his pen down and clasps his hands in front of him on the desk, putting on his business face. “Alright, then, Ritsu, let’s talk.”

#mob psycho 100 #mp100 #reigen arataka #kageyama ritsu #kageyama shigeo #fanfiction #mp100 fanfic #serendipitousfics #im posting this to escape the vore conversation ghpgihpgohigpi #gift fic

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mcveriicks · 5 years

Text

have you seen [ MAVERICK ST. JAMES ] since the storm? some say they look like [ HERMAN TOMMERAAS ] but they’re [ TWENTY-TWO ] & go by [ THE PARADOX ]. [ HE ] lived in halloway for [ THREE YEARS ] & they are originally from [ WASHINGTON, D.C. ]. before the town vanished they were studying [ PHILOSOPHY ] and lived at [ UNI BLVD ]. most people knew the [ CISMALE ] as [ +CLEVER ] but i’ve heard they can also be [ -APATHETIC ]. for some reason, they feel [ UNEASY ] about the town’s disappearance. ( riley, 20, she/her, est )

hello !!! my name is riley and i’m ????? so so extremely very much excited to get the ball rollin, down n dirty, into this rp !! i’m a sucker for angst and sadness, so … expect MUCH of that w me !! mav is a new muse of mine but i’m SUPER excited to get to dev him with all of you guys !! below the cut is a … long-ass intro post bc i have no chill !! if, per chance, you’d like to plot w me and my know-it-all, assholey but suprisingly soft child, please feel free to GIVE THIS POST A LIKE or to DM ME ( either tumblr or discord i check both, i promise i don’t bite ) !!!

tw: drugs.

* / BACKGROUND.

maverick hobbes st. james was born into a life filled to the absolute brim of expectation. his mother and father met at halloway’s law school, and both went on to become highly respectable lawyers who dealt with constitutional law in washington d.c.; they work highly demanding jobs, which often left maverick, who is an only child, alone at their impressively decorated family townhouse, staring at family photos and wondering how his definition of family had become so different to his friends’ growing up.

growing up in middle and high school, maverick assumed that getting good grades and excelling at school would make his parents proud, would get them to turn their attention to his successes –– but surprise, surprise, they didn’t. they’d pat him on the back as they headed out the door to tend to their daily schedules –– that is, if he was lucky enough to see them in the morning.

he studied. hard. trying to understand the ins and outs of what his parents did, trying to see if following in their footsteps by studying law would warrant a smile or beam of pride. it didn’t. but it still got him an acceptance to his parents’ alma mater, halloway university. he made friends quickly –– he always did. always the charismatic friend, he’s learned to rely more on his friends than his family in his life.

when maverick was a senior in high school, he finally reached an age to realize some of the shady deals his parents would make on the regular, the random bonuses his parents whispered about finally making sense to him. one case in particular had apparently caused one of his classmates’ parents to be publicly humiliated for a scandal and an incident that was apparently unrelated to their careers –– but ruined them in the process.

he felt guilt, himself, knowing that his parents could be making deals like that every day. it made him shake his head, made him cry into his pillow, made him absolutely disgusted to call people like his mother and father his own parents. he wrote so many fucking speeches that he’d recite to them once he got the chance, berating them for their practices and lack of morals in their workplace. but they never came home –– and hypocritical as he was, he still enjoyed the fruits of his parents’ work. they gave him unlimited checks with his name on them, as if it was some sort of sick version of love.

while maverick was fulfilling some of his general requirements, he fell in love with philosophy, with questioning life and ethical choices that mankind has made in the past, and would make in the future. he ended up pivoting his studies, moving from pre-law to philosophy at the end of his freshman year of his undergraduate studies.

and of course –– with this twist in the system, maverick is about to make this world his playground, living in his very own simulation of how a fresh new world reacts to infinite freedoms. he’s partially excited to see what will unfold, partially scared that things will fall to absolute shit ( ever the pessimist, maverick st. james ! ) because he has little faith that his company will collectively make the right decisions.

* / PERSONALITY.

maverick st. james is quite the paradox ( hence, the label ! ). he’s charismatic, funny, and has a witty sense of humor –– and is generally appreciated by his peers because he’s able to move conversation and discussion without making topics seem dry. and generally, he’s only like this in classes that he’s passionate about –– otherwise, you’d see him in the very back corner, doodling amongst his haphazardly written notes. what’s funny is he used to always be like this –– happy, smiley, obviously intelligent and driven. but it all sort of changed when he had this big epiphany that some people aren’t what they seem like on the outside ( re: his parents ).

he’s certainly a bit arrogant, given that he’s intelligent, innovative, and clever, and knows it –– however, even if he might not show it on the outside, he appreciates a good challenger. he thinks it keeps his wit sharp, and of course, his ego would never show it, but he does appreciate learning from people. after all, his passion in philosophy makes him certainly interested in how minds work.

at social events, you can probably see him flirting his ass off, but always having a good time, too. he’s definitely the type to sleep around, but he likes to pick at people’s brains, too. probably the most deep-ass pillow-talker halloway has ever seen. it probably borders on the line of being too romantic with flings –– the way he asks questions, but also borders on being annoying.

those who happen to get to know maverick outside of the surface-level stuff, outside the initial cockiness and flirtatious front he puts on will know that he’s actually quite thoughtful. his lonely childhood has made him extremely loyal to those who have shown him similar trust and friendship –– he would never turn his back on them. he asks probing questions, is a good listener –– perhaps because he’s interested in human decision making, but is also because he doesn’t quite know what it’s like to be loved unconditionally –– though he wants to. he’ll hold back hair and rub a friend’s back while they yak, walk his friends home, maybe throw a few punches or two –– but spicy comebacks are really more his speed.

deep down, what almost no one knows is that he’s really quite soft. he passes his curiosity off as wanting to understand people, when really it’s a mechanism for hoping someone asks him questions in return, to give him the time of day he wished his parents had given him.

* / AESTHETICS.

coffee-stained mugs, walking with headphones in, untied shoelaces, black hoodies, a cheeky smirk, small books in his back pocket, writing in the margins, quoting old authors on a daily basis, incessant eye-rolling, pen ink stains, unmade bed, mismatched socks, floral ties, empty bottles of liquor, rose thorn pricks, old worn poetry books, polished dress shoes, calloused fingers, unlit cigarettes between teeth.

* / HEADCANONS.

funnily enough, maverick’s name means ‘independent, a noncomformist’, which is exactly the path that he has taken to stray away from his family’s expectations of practicing law, specifically constitutional law as a career. he’s like. nah. fuck that.

maverick has some form of synesthesia, which allows him to remember a lot more than the average person. he associates colors, smells, sounds, to words –– and allows him to efficiently study any subjects he doesn’t have immediate passion for.

in the privacy of his own bedroom, he sometimes writes poetry and sketches his thoughts and muses –– when he knows he’s in complete privacy. faces and features that appear in his sketchbooks are often those he’s thinking of often, those who intrigue him. he’s actually quite good a sketching, maybe not quite as good at writing poetry.

tw drugs. he more than dabbles in drug use, smoking marijuana maybe every other day, while partaking in harder drugs like cocaine and adderall and others probably once a week. he feels like he’s in control of his use, but it may start to get the best of him. end tw.

maverick is left-handed. he hates that he gets pen ink stains when he draws, writes poetry, takes notes. his left palm is probably perennially covered with ink.

though he’s often wearing headphones ( airpods, of course, the nerve of this rich kid ), half the time, nothing’s playing. sometimes he forgets to press play on his phone, sometimes he purposely likes listening to decision-making and conversations of strangers. it lets him think about the nature of mankind.

maverick’s favorite philosopher is albert camus, known for his work that heavily developed the idea of absurdism ( much to do with the meaning of life, and human inability to discern an answer ).

* / WANTED PLOTS.

CHECK OUT MY WANTED PLOTS PAGE HERE !

childhood friends: again, someone who would have known him from pre-cynical, arrogant asshole days. they could be friends now still,

ex-friends: perhaps maverick went a bit too far with the questions, about trying to probe into someone’s mind. maybe for this reason, or for others, these two fell out of touch / argued and might be forced into new places due to the disappearance of the other townspeople.

unlikely friends: maverick’s reputation isn’t exactly favorable to some crowds. maybe they became friends in one of their shared classes or through mutual friends, and actually get along well, despite coming from different backgrounds / having different values. they probably see a bit of a deeper side to mav than most people !!

good influence (?!): maverick gets into his shit, has probably a less-than-favorable reputation, but he still cares about people, deep deep down. maybe your muse is a bit lost, and maverick is worried about them and wants to help them get back on track –– especially with all the changes happening in the society !! we can plot lil details about this, esp bc it’s a v unique side of mav i’d love to explore !! ( insp: x, x, x )

bad influences: those who partake in the sins that maverick just loves to lap up. they feed off of each others’ energy, often encouraging more drinking, more drugs, more sex. it’s a bit of a never-ending circle, but one that maverick keeps coming back to, for some reason. ( insp: x )

frenemies: this could be some sort of intellectual challenger kind of deal ? someone mav actually appreciates having in his life, though they butt heads a lot maybe for some reason !! ( insp: x )

disliked: they probably find maverick’s personality appalling or annoying, they probably find him pretentious af and super hypocritical for preaching so much about morals, when he drinks and uses drugs and just fucks around half the time. they could call him out for his flaws, or we could go down a completely different route of them having some weird history of mutual plots ??? so so much room for possibility here !!

+ have a couple more in my wanted plots tag here ! but literally, as a self-proclaimed angst and plot ho, please hmu with any and all ideas you might have !! i can’t wait to get started w all of u !!!

#tw drugs #hallowayintros #hallowaypoints

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lasersheith · 6 years

Text

Lasersheith’s Fic Masterlist

Thanks so much to everyone who reads/likes/comments on/shares my stuff, it means the world to me!

Finished works

AU:

Take It If You Want It | Complete | Ch.13/13 | 57k | M

Tags: Modern AU, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, fluff, light angst with a happy ending, pining, irresponsible use of alcohol, side pairing: Mattor, side pairing: Allurance, side pairing: Hidge

Written for Sheith Big Bang 2018!

Keith and Hunk make New Year’s Resolutions to finally tell their respective crushes how they’ve felt for years. Hunk takes all of 3 minutes, but Keith needs… a little longer.

Birthday mishaps, misunderstandings, self discovery, exciting new job opportunities, minor blackmail… a lot can happen in a year. Surely the perfect moment for a years-overdue love confession fits in there somewhere?

Serendipity’s Wings | Complete | Ch.7/7 | 24k | E

Tags: Modern AU, Childhood Friends to Lovers, Fake/Pretend Relationship, bedsharing, fluff, hurt/comfort, pining Shiro, sidepairing: Allura/Kuro, Shirogane twins

When Shiro receives bad news about his grandfather, he immediately books a flight for Japan. Luckily for him, he finds a familiar face in the pilot. It's been a long time since he saw his childhood friend Keith, but they pick up where they left off almost immediately.

Unluckily, his twin brother has decided to jump to conclusions, and now his family thinks he and Keith have rekindled a flame that was never there. Rather than disappoint them in a tense moment, Keith gamely agrees to play along. What are friends for, after all?

Oh Brother | Complete | Ch. 6/6 | 17k | T

Tags: Modern AU, fluff, humor, salt, sidepairing Matt/Allura, one-sided kl

What do you do when your boyfriend is in the hospital and they only let in immediate family? Lie and say you’re married? Not if you’re Keith, you don’t. Thanks to Keith’s inner turmoil, he and Shiro are stuck pretending to be brothers while he recovers. But Keith has to admit, “Mr. Shirogane” has a nice ring to it.

The Gravitas of a Mattress | Complete | Ch. 7/7 | 16k | M

Tags: College AU, fluff, humor, oh my god they’re banging each other’s roommates, sidepairing Latte

From the prompt: My roommate got it on with yours yesterday and I don’t think I can face them for a while after hearing the sounds they made last night. Mind if I stayed with you for a while?

Keith gets sexiled from his dorm room because Matt and Lance won't stop hate-fucking. He decides that it's only fair that he gets to crash in Matt's room if Matt gets to keep him out of his own. Shiro is confused but accommodating. Very accommodating.

Matt and Lance have their own fun side adventure in learning to like each other and play nice. Pidge doesn't like it. Allura might.

Flowers don’t always mean “I love you” | Complete | Ch. 8/8 | 14k | T

Tags: Flowershop AU, Slow Burn, pining Shiro, PTSD, fluff, humor

Takashi Shirogane had fulfilled his dream of becoming a test pilot, but after a terrible accident that left him without an arm and in sudden need of a new career, he moves back home and starts working at a family friend’s flower shop while he focuses on recovering and finding a new direction for his life.

Things are going as well as can be expected until an attractive stranger shows up out of the blue, and keeps coming back. Who's this guy buying all these flowers for?

DDY 1138 | Complete | Ch. 3/3 | 7.2k | T | My favorite thing I’ve ever written

Tags: Modern AU, fluff, humor, meet ugly, disaster gay Shiro, smooth Keith

alternate title: Have you ever seen a man so beautiful you crashed your car?

Shiro learns that it's possible for the best day of your life to coincide with the worst day of your life in the dumbest way possible. He gets into a fender bender due to some distracted driving, and his cute mechanic doesn't make things any easier... until he does.

Hat Trick | Complete | Ch. 2/2 | 6.5k | E

Tags: Modern AU, Frat AU, Frat boy Shiro, Frat boy Keith, light angst with a happy ending, humor, crack played straight

No one has ever seen Takashi Shirogane without a hat on his head, or so the legends say.

...

“I tell you what,” Matt said after Keith told him he'd figure out Shiro's secret, the real secret. “If you find out the true story behind Shiro's hat before your initiation ceremony, I will personally pay your dues until you graduate.”

Keith's eyes glinted as he took another long swing from his beer. The steep price of brotherhood had been one of the few reasons he'd been wary about pledging. “What if I don't?” He asked suspiciously. It hadn't taken long to work out that Matt was an agent of chaos. No matter how confident he was in himself, he had to make sure it was worth the risk.

Matt smirked. “You have to wear a Santa hat to the Christmas party.”

Keith furrowed his brows. The punishment didn't add up with Matt’s smug look. His face paled as the realization dawned on him. “Just the hat?”

Matt's smirk shifted into an impish grin. “I knew you were a smart one.” He said with a wink, sticking out his hand. “Do we have a bet, then?”

Never one to back down from a challenge, Keith took Matt's hand and pumped it twice with determination. “You're on.”

Hey Sugar | Complete | Ch. 4/4 | 5k | G | I’m gonna rewrite this one soon rip

Tags: College AU, fluff, humor, pining Shiro, disaster gay Shiro

Autocorrect can be a beautiful thing. It can also be a Very Bad Thing. Keith accidentally sends a text with an embarrassing autocorrect to the hot guy he's been crushing on all semester.

Check Yes Juliet | Complete | Ch. 2/2 | 2.8k | T

Tags: College AU, fluff, humor, mistaken identity, Shirogane twins

Who knew a little Shakespeare knowledge could get you a midnight kiss from the hottest guy at the New Years party? However, young men’s love then lies not truly in their hearts, but in their eyes... Just ask Keith.

Melt | Complete | Ch. 1/1 | 1.4k | G

Tags: AU modern setting or Post-canon, domestic fluff, established relationship

It's way too hot outside, and the AC is busted. Short and sweet domestic fluff featuring Spot the fluffy wonder and a trip to the store for some much needed ice cream.

Canon-Verse:

The way you looked at me | Complete | 17k | M

Tags: Amnesia, crack played straight, one sided fake dating, shiro is a mess, humor, fluff

Keith wakes up in the hospital and he's not sure of much, except that he and Shiro are definitely together. Shiro doesn't have the heart to correct him- much to their friends' amusement.

It’s not you, it’s me (also it’s you) | Complete | Ch. 3/3 | 7.5k | T

Tags: Canon-verse, pre-kerberos mission, humor, miscommunication, disaster gay Shiro, Matt is a Bad Friend

Keith catches Shiro doodling hearts in his notebook. When asked who the hearts are for, he blurts out Matt's name so he won't have to confess his feelings for Keith. Now Keith has made it his mission to help Shiro woo Matt at all costs. Matt is very unhelpful.

The Sweetest Apology | Complete | Ch. 1/1 | 2.3k | Gen

Tags: College AU, fluff, humor

Everyone hates those tiny little desks every college feels the need to cram into huge lecture halls- they're way too small and there's never enough of the left handed ones. Keith thinks he scored big time getting the only left handed desk in his new class, but didn't realize he'd be stealing it from a classmate who's missing his right arm... How do you even apologize for that?

Not the right time | Complete | Ch. 1/1 | 2.3k | T

Tags: Canon-verse, angst

fic request: Sheith and "It is always not the right time for us, isn't it?"

They've had so many chances to tell each other how they feel, but for Shiro and Keith it just never seems to be the right time.

Ringing in my ears and one on my finger | Complete | Ch. 1/1 | 1.5k | T

Tags: soulmates, shiro is trying, fluff, humor

Canonverse soulmate AU: Colleen notices a soulmark on Shiro's finger...

Head over heels | Complete | Ch. 1/1| 1.5k | G

Tags: Canon-verse, established relationship, fluff, humor

Keith's lost an entire Saturday to detention because Iverson is jerk. What better way to get revenge than a practical joke?

from the prompt "Shiro getting caught up in Keith pranking Iverson"

With a little help from my friends | Complete | Ch.1/1 | 1.4k | G

Tags: Canon-verse, pre-relationship, everyone loves Shiro, thirsty Keith

A malfunction in the engine room has left the castle a sweltering nightmare. Hunk has deemed it time for a team underwear party, but Shiro's nervous about his scars. His friends help him feel a little better.

p=mv | Complete | Ch. 1/1 | 1.4k | T

Tags: Canon-verse, humor, meet ugly

The story of how Keith and Shiro met at the Garrison.

Or, the first time Keith saved Shiro.

Or, how a concussion led Shiro to the love of his life.

Or maybe it was all 3.

Love, Shiro | Complete | Ch. 1/1 | 1.3k | G

Tags: Canon-verse, fluff, established relationship, humor, kerberos mission

Shiro and Keith decide to write each other letters while Shiro is away on his mission. This is a collection of some of Shiro's.

Getting there | Complete | Ch. 1/1 | 1.3k | T

Tags: Canon-verse, hurt/comfort, Shiro whump, fluff

A lot of things changed in the year they were separated, but Keith's feelings aren't one of them. Shiro needs a little convincing after everything that's happened, especially with how much of an obvious physical toll it's taken. Keith is happy to oblige.

Just In Case | Complete | Ch. 1/1 | 1k | G

Tags: Canon-verse, humor, fluff, established relationship, pre-kerberos mission

Shiro is accidentally late for a morning inspection because he spent too long snuggled up with Keith. His commander isn't super thrilled about it.

Series: It’s killing me when you’re away | Complete | Works 4/4 | 4.8k | T

Tags: Canon-verse, Keith’s time in the desert, angst, pre-kerberos mission

Keith’s devastated over losing Shiro

Tumblr Drabbles

Sheith Month 2018 | Canonverse Pre-Kerberos | 20k | G-T

My collection of prompt fills for Sheith Month 2018. All of them are pre-kerb fluff and/or humor!

As Many Drabbles As It Takes | Mix of settings | 10k | Ch. 14/? | M

Collection of sheith drabbles and prompt fills originally posted on Tumblr!

Posted WIPS:

Series: Easier with you | Ongoing | Works 6/? | 15k | M

Tags: Modern AU, Veteran Shiro, Veteran Keith, hurt/comfort, PTSD, Mutual Pining, Shiro Whump, Shiro & Matt, Allura/Matt,

Shiro's just returned back from the military, having been medically discharged from service after losing his arm. Matt is his best friend and is trying his best to help him deal with the loss. He convinces Shiro to go to a VA support group that will end up changing his life.

Best laid plans | Ongoing | Ch. 1/? | 2.3k | T

Tags: Canon-verse, crack, humor, fluff

Was Keith proud of the fact that petty revenge was his first thought upon being given an amazing stealth suit? Not particularly. But was he going to let that stop him from enacting said petty revenge? Absolutely not. Turns out, Karma isn't so much a bitch as a… well, you'll see.

Or, how to attempt to counter-prank your buddy and end up stuck as a cat, a memoir by Keith Kogane.

We’ll fix it in post | Ongoing | Ch.1/? | 2k | T

Tags: Modern AU, Barista Keith, humor, mistaken identity, Shirogane Twins

Shiro is a producer on the hit animated show "Voltron: Warden of the Cosmos" and a huge fan of it himself. Keith is a new barista at the coffee shop across from his studio and a lover of his show. A fortuitous meeting leads them on the path to romance, but there's just one problem: Keith thinks Shiro is his brother, Ryou, voice actor for Keith's favorite character on the show.

#samwrites #long post #way too long #why am i like this #fic masterlist #if anyone has organizational ideas for this beast please please dm me i'm drowning #updated september 2nd #sheith

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echelonlab-blog · 6 years

Text

Echelon Author Interview -- Lolainblue

Echelon Author Interview

Your URL: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/lolainblue

Your name: Missie (Blue is my nickname)

Link to your Masterlist: https://lolainblue.tumblr.com/post/174506158608/masterlist-20

What was your first experience with 30 Seconds to Mars? A friend had bought their first album and brought it over while hanging out. We listened to a few songs, I immediately fell in love. She asked me “Guess who the lead singer is? It's Jordan Catallano!” I was so stunned.

Your Favorite Mars song? I could never pick one. There is one for whatever mood I am in. I love Attack, a lot of the old stuff, Buddha for Mary... They have changed so much over the years but I still love all their sounds.

Has anything ever happened to you solely because of being a 30STM fan? There are people that I met only because of Mars, and friends I have made in the fandom I wouldn't have otherwise.

What is your favorite thing about the fandom? Your least favorite? I think this is a very welcoming, supportive, and open fandom for the most part. It does have certain cliques, which is all right, everyone has their things they're into, but it would be nice if they got along a little better.

Is there any advice you would give to someone who is new to the fandom? Don't get too caught up in rumors. There are some people who are crazy obsessive and love to trash talk. It's a strange combo.

How long have you been writing? Since I was in elementary school.

Why did you start writing? (Either in general or for Mars specifically) I went through a catastrophic health event a few years ago. I found myself stuck at home and mostly bed bound, looking at a slow recovery. I started reading more, and also reading more fanfiction. I restarted my Tumblr account and came across some Mars writers. @thepromiseofanend and @fyeahproudglambert were actually among some of the first writers I read here and very much inspired me to keep writing for the fandom.

Do you write for other fandoms? If so, which ones? I have written for other fandoms in the past but right now the only one I am writing for is Mars.

Do you share everything you write? If not, is there a reason why? No. Not everything I write is Mars related, and some of the pieces I am working on only sporadically and I will share when I have more of them written.

Have you written things that aren't fanfic? If so, could you tell us about those works? I have written plays and screenplays, short stories.. I write a lot I am currently working on a paranormal novel that is original fiction.

Of all your works, which is your favorite and why? I think Fangs and Fairytales is probably my favorite, I love horror and vampires and the paranormal, and it's fun to play with an alternate timeline like that.

Is there one that was particularly difficult to write? Why? There is one I am working on currently that is not yet published that I draw from some difficult personal experiences and struggles. I am not entirely sure I will share it when I am done.

What is the ideal writing environment for you? At your desk? Quiet? Music? I work on my laptop and I prefer to have silence. I can't stand having the television or music on when I am writing. The location doesn't matter much but the silence does. If I can't get silence I will put on headphones with ambient sounds, like thunderstorms. When I was writing the first part of Thunderbirds, I had a site that had cafe sounds that I listened to a lot.

What type of fanfic are you most comfortable writing (drama, fluff, angst, drabbles, series, etc.) I absolutely love to write angst. I torture my characters mercilessly. I also tend towards long pieces.

What is your favorite fanfic trope? Enemies to Friends, Ooops there's only one bed, Mutual Pining

Is there any trope or subject that you won't write? There are certain kinks that I don't care for, and extreme stuff is off the table. Don't make me name them all.

Are there any special tools that you use when creating or writing your story? I use either Open Office for short pieces or Scrivener for longer more structured stories. Grammarly is a lifesaver.

Do you write your story in order or do you jump around and then string it together at the end? Mostly in order. I am a very linear thinker.

Do you outline, or do a great deal of prep work or do you 'fly by the seat of your pants'? I have a general outline and a plan for each story. Some are more detailed than others.

How do you usually get your inspiration? Dreams, music, other stories, movies... I get so many ideas, it's the execution that's an issue more than inspiration.

Do you have ideas on the drawing board or in progress currently that you haven't shared yet? Yes. I have two series that I am working on. One I had originally planned to be ready in a few weeks but due to illness I am behind.

If you have an unpublished work in progress, please pick two to three sentences and share them without context.

Jared assured me however that he was fully prepared, gripping me ever tighter as he pressed me into the upholstered bench seating, no sign of shyness in regards to the driver who was currently ferrying us through damp and intimate back streets. The evening's earlier rain had broken and everything was left looking freshly glazed, colors amplified in reflection. It would have been a lovely drive through the Latin Quarter if he had paused from his advances long enough to look out the window.

Do you like requests? Would you like more or less of them? I love requests but I don't always have time. I have several series I am actively working on for myself, several things in the lab, another collaboration as well as original work. But one of my favorite oneshots (Overtime) came from an anon request. You can always ask. I may not be able to fill it but you can always ask.

Is there an upcoming project from you that you are excited about? Why, and what can you share about it? I am excited about all my writing. There is one piece that won't be coming for a while but it's a new Shannon series with a rather different romantic interest.

The best piece of writing advice you've ever received? Eliminate your inner audience. Whenever we write we have a tendency to think of the people who might be reading it and how they will react. It can limit us from being true and fearless with what we are producing. Write for the characters, focus on the story, and don't mentally allow other people to look over your shoulder. Especially when writing smut.

The worst piece of writing advice you've ever received? For overcoming writer's block: Just sit down and write. If I could do that Karen, I wouldn't be complaining about writer's block.

What piece of advice would you give to someone just starting to write fanfic? Don't worry if you don't get a lot of attention to start. Don't worry if your stories aren't as good as others. Just keep writing and try to make each piece a little better than the last one. Compete against yourself. Your writing will grow and develop as you continue to work and as it does you will find your audience.

Three (stories, series, scenes, etc) written by others that you really like or that inspire you? Only three? I think Save Me by @spillinginkwithlove was probably the thing that truly drew me in. Closer to the Edge (@thepromiseofanend) has my OTP of Mia/Jared. @darklydelicousdesires has my favorite piece of Shannon smut, Double Measures

Are any of your characters closer to being “you” than others? Any reason in particular? All of my characters have tiny pieces of me in them, whether it's a taste in food or future aspiration. In a lot of ways, I think I'm more Jane than anything, a lot of Jane and Roger’s childhood memories come from my own experience growing up in small towns in Illinois and Indiana -- but there are characters in two pieces I am working on that draw deeply from a lot of my life experiences.

Are any of your characters based on someone you know? Roger (from Thunderbirds) is actually very strongly based on an old boyfriend of mine.

Are any of your plots based on something that happened to you? The upcoming pieces Bodies, Rest and Motion and Mirror Ball both draw strongly on my own personal experiences, although the characters are unique as are the circumstances. The stories aren't autobiographical in any way, I have just drawn on things that I have been through and know to create something that conveys those experiences.

Favorite font for writing? Segoe UI ( In 14pt because I'm blind)

Do you consider yourself a reader outside of fanfic? Yes. I love to read.

Your favorite book? I don't know about any one book, but I love Brandon Mull, Tad Williams, and Charlaine Harris. Also Poppy Z Brite, Terry Pratchett, so much science fiction and horror.....

Your favorite things to do when you're not writing? I love to cook, watch movies, binge Netflix, hang out with my dogs, play video games and just be with my family.

Two truths and a lie? I owned and ran my own catering company, I lived briefly in Italy, I was the drummer for a punk band

Something surprising about you? My original career ambition (and the college program I started in) was for experimental high energy (particle) physics. I still love science. I am a huge nerd.

Favorite food to enjoy while watching Netflix? Popcorn, of course.

Favorite way to spend a Saturday night? The activity doesn't matter to me as much as the company. I just want to be surrounded by good people. I love a good meal and a card or board game with friends and family. (I love tabletop games and have a small collection. Gloom and Betrayal at House on the Hill are two of my favorites.)

Blankets Tucked or Untucked? Untucked!

Do you have any pets? Would you like to tell us about them? I have two rescued pit bulls that are big love bugs (Twilight and Lokii) and two cats, Coyote and Mayhem. Lokii is the only one that is technically mine (Twilight is my son's dog, and the cats are just household pets) and Lokii never leaves my side. He is very protective and watches over me when I am feeling ill. He is also very goofy and loves to play

Are there any particular battles or struggles in your life you'd like to tell us about? I've been through a lot. I have somehow managed to pick myself up and keep going each time I've been knocked down. You have to keep putting one foot in front of the other, no matter what. There's really no other choice. Just keep going. There's always something good ahead.

Anything you'd like to add? I am horrible at initiation and maintaining friendships. It's mostly an anxiety issue, I feel like I'm annoying people, I think they don't want to talk to me, that they simply tolerate me... I know there are lots of you that can relate to that. Chances are really good that I'd like to talk to you, even if I seem stand-offish or seem to have withdrawn. Please don't ever take it personally. And if we've never talked, well feel free to say hi, or ask me a question. I love to chat, I really do, I'm just bad about keeping things going until I get used to people. I take ridiculously long to get used to people. I guess what I'm saying is I'm a big mess and I have social issues but if you're into that, come chat with me.

#Interviews #echelonlab #lolainblue

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dragonlands · 6 years

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Friendship vs queerbaiting

"Can we stop shipping all (m/m) friendships as romance?"

First of all, no. Why should we? Shipping is supposed to be fun, and we can ship whatever we want as long as the characters are fictional. With real people it's a little trickier but this is not about real people shipping so I'll leave it at that. People don't usually choose a ship, shipping happens a little like falling in love: we find ourselves attracted to the dynamic of certain characters and the ship just kind of happens.

Shipping is not activism, like people often remind here. We fans don't need to ship the ship with the most under represented dynamic, we should ship the ship that makes us happy. It's not homophobic if you don't ship the popular gay ship. Its not racist if you ship the main character with the white person instead of poc bc you feel like these two have a better dynamic. And so on. But I need to add here that if a queer/interracial couple is canon but you ship them in a straight/white relationship with someone else it's a little... questionable at least. It depends the dynamic and the history of these characters and so on, but I'm just saying that there are exceptions to the rule I just presented.

So, if you feel like friendships between two men are under represented you have no right to tell people they shouldn't ship it because you prefer their dynamic as something else than romantic. And also: where did the idea come that they are under represented? The sole reason why so many non canon ships are m/m friendships is because THEY ARE EVERYWHERE. Plus, all kinds of friendships are shipped, f/f and f/m too but they're much rarer in mainstream fiction which is why they are also less popular in fandom. If you think "Fandom only ships canonically straight white men", look at Clexa for example. They only had one season together, and it got to the top of tumblr's most shipped list immediately. Stormpilot is very popular and it's interracial while neither is white. Don't blame the fandom for something the creators are responsible for.

The idea that we shouldn't ship friendships tells something about how our society portrays romance - an instant connection, physical attraction, something that consumes your soul after the first glance and makes you leave everything, even your friends and family behind. As if you were ready to die for them after one conversation, one night together, sometimes even just one look. This doesn't sound healthy or even normal to me.

Romance and friendship are not mutually exclusive. Healthy romances are often build on friendship, and even if infatuation comes first and dating second, any couple who has been married for years will tell you that the secret to a happy marriage is being good friends too. Best friends, actually, since they have to spend most time together. Of course I'm not saying we shouldn't ship different kinds of dynamics, I enjoy love/hate relationships as much as the next person, but popular ships that are accused of queerbaiting are usually canonically close friendships.

Drawing a line between close friendship and queerbaiting can be tricky, I admit. Sometimes even if I do think something is queerbaiting I understand the opposite opinion, sometimes not. Often, the opposite argument is something like this: "Yes, they clearly do love each other very deeply, deeper than most friends, but that's because they're like brothers/siblings." And I'm like... no. I know brotherly love is a saying but it isn't really... a thing. For people who aren't actually brothers. Because there are two things that make people siblings: 1) Biology, as in they are genetically siblings. 2) They have been brought up as siblings, they have the same parents and have known each other since birth.

Often siblings are both, but there are adopted siblings, and biological siblings who haven't met each other before adulthood. So if you can't check either of these for your ship, it's not incestuous. No matter how brotherly you think their love is. Because yes, people can form strong bonds to people outside family, but even childhood friends don't have the experience that siblings have. They don't have the same parents and the same happy family memories or shared trauma. They've never had the kind of authority that a parent is, who is close for both and able to decide who's right about the fight and who gets a punishment, who gets the bigger cake slide etc. And when you're biologically related the biology actually affects your relationship: it's just part of surviving the natural selection that we protect those who are genetically like us. Also there's a natural repulsiveness towards our relatives which prevents us from getting mutant babies. These things obviously apply to adoptive siblings too, but not to "bros".

So if someone says that these two characters have a deep connection but it's brotherly, sure, they can think that, but they have no way of getting actual evidence for their claim. Whereas if I think some characters are in love I can present evidence. I obviously can't prove it unless it becomes canon, but I can make it pretty clear why I think so.

Now, I'm all for having male characters be close friends without it making them gay. We need to show that men should be able to talk about their emotions with each other, just like female friends do. It's proven by many studies that straigh men are likely to have their girlfriend/wife as their only emotional support, and that needs to change. Male friend supporting the other when he talks about his crush on a girl: hell yeah. Male friend supporting the other when their parent dies: hell yeah. Male friends talking about games and selfcare and literature and their interests just like female friends do: HELL YEAH! I would like to see male friendships where they need each other because they have shared interests and memories and because they can be open with each other. Being physically comfortable with each other. All that.

But, you see, most so called friendships that are popular as ships and accused of queerbaiting, are not what I just described. These friendships are codependent. If the other died or was taken away from the other the other wouldn't just be sad for a year or so, but they would lose their grip of life and themselves. They are contradictory, and the characters are bad at describing their feelings for each other, unaware whether the "friendship" is mutual, surprised when the other shows that they care. They are full of misunderstandings, and the narrative seems that there's something that they're going towards. Normal friendships are solid and stationary, and while they do change with time and circumstance, they're not constantly evolving as if what the people involved have right now is not what both want.

Friends have fights over petty things, and sometimes just can't be around each other. These characters usually fight - if they fight - because they leave things unsaid and the viewer is forced to think: what did they mean to say? There's tension, neither of them knows how to quite be around the other but they need them like they need air. It is sometimes even shown that even if the other is in a relationship with another person, they can't share the most important parts of their life with that person - they need their "friend" for that. As if love was just physical, no common interests or chemistry needed.

Obviously there will always be some things that can only be shared with a certain person and that person may not be your lover, but at least in my opinion it makes sense if your romantic partner is the one who gets you the most. Especially if the love is supposed to be ideal or even supported by the audience which mostly is the case in fictional romance. And if the "friends" have most in common with each other, have shared their most vulvenerable moments with each other and seem to have romantic chemistry to many of the viewers, why not make them a couple? Because they are both straight men? (Or women, but most often men since most main characters are men.)

The argument against queer ships is usually just "not everyone is gay". Yes, well, obviously not. Some people are straight, that's true. They don't feel attraction to the same sex even if their life depends of it (So I've heard. As a bisexual myself this sounds like a weird concept. Whatever.)

And the conversation continues: "I think these two men you ship together are both straight, so they can't feel attraction towards each other."

"Fine, that's your opinion. But how do you prove that?"

"He slept with a woman/flirted with a woman/ loved a woman etc."

"Bisexuality. Exists. Also, some gay people try to date the opposite sex before they admit they are gay, because society teaches that's the normal thing to do. They could be in denial, or pretend to be straight so they don't get beat up or something like that, it's often hard to be queer. But once again: BISEXUALITY EXISTS."

So, the person saying they're straight is usually just basing their thoughts on heteronormativity, thinking that they're straight until proven otherwise. Fandom, on the other hand, looks at how the character acts around different genders and bases their opinion of their sexuality on that.

Back to "Not everyone is gay". What do people even mean when they use that phase? I look at the fictional universe that I love and see zero canon queer people, or maybe two minor characters that were in one episode. The world is filled with characters, and I'm only pointing at a few of them and saying that they seem to have potential for a romance, why not? Straight people already have almost every popular character, is it really too much to ask if we could get one or two too? That's not everyone.

The fans don't want the show/book/movie to become a romance suddenly, we're in this fandom because we like the thing that makes it what it is. We're just asking to acknowledge the romance that literally is already there. WE'RE NOT ASKING FOR A SEX SCENE. We're asking for something that could make the people who watch/read the thing from their heteronormative viewpoint see that it was actually queer all along. So that they would stop ridiculing us queer people for "seeing things that aren't there." Something very small will do: Hannigram didn't even have to kiss because everything needed to make a romance were already there, they just needed one conversations to make it clear that yes, Hannibal was in love with Will and yes, Will did ache for him too. Simple. Korrasami just walked off together in the end. With both cases the fans were happy, and it proves that the idea that "fangirls just want to see two men fuck" is wrong. We just crave to be represented.

The final argument against the queer interpretation is: "Relationships are complex, and sometimes you don't fall for the person who seems to be the perfect match for you." Yes. Real life is complex. Sometimes love is just physical, often you don't fall for your friend. BUT. As a writer, you're not trying to recreate real life. You're showing things and emotions that are important to the story, so why make a multi season/movie/book arch for a relationship between two men if you're just going to pair them off for someone else?

As a person who's into writing I get really confused by these things. One of the first lessons I learned that I still hear daily is: "show, don't tell". If you've shown us the two men falling for each other, telling that one or both of them suddenly love someone else won't fix it. And if every other character in the universe seems to think these two are a couple then it's not very hard for the viewer to see that too.

I am tired of hearing about "platonic love stories". The creators have called so many popular ships that, as if it somehow excused their queerbaiting. Platonic and love story are each other's opposites, and platonic love stories don't exist - unless they're talking about the platonic concept of love: that humans had four legs, four arms and two heads but they were too powerful so the gods divided them in two, and that's why people need a soulmate. But usually they don't mean that - however, sometimes they do. Thank gods for Hugh Dancy. But when creators literally call the ship a love story between two men yet insist it's not romantic, it probably aren't the fans who are reaching. If it's a love story, let it be a love story.

#johnlock #destiel #hannigram #clexa #merthur #korrasami #stucky #stony #stormpilot #sherlock #marvel #captain america #idk how to tag this like i spent days writing this i need people to read this lmao

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akaiitokoibito · 6 years

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Hello! Could I possibly get a matchup for Naruto and Haikyuu? I have all my matchup info here dinodiegos(.)tumblr(.)com/matchup (just remove the parentheses) but if you need a different link or something shorter just let me know! Thank you very much and congrats on the new blog!!

Yo~!

We’ve pinned your soulmates to be Itachi Uchiha from Naruto and Kozume Kenma from Haikyuu!!!

“You…really are an amazing person, aren’t you?”

tl;dr The couple that’s way too comfortable with each other and sort of dated before you confessed already

You two first met when Itachi was had just finished retrieving a paw print for Nekobaa.

Unfortunately, Itachi had been wearing those signature cat ears when he saw staring at him and froze. He was usually quick enough to go unnoticed by civilians, but he had been too busy thinking about what to buy for Sasuke’s birthday to be paying attention.

To his surprise, he vaguely recognized you; you were the daughter of the man who ran the dango stall.

You stared at him, the Uchiha prodigy clad in cat ears, and began giggling. Itachi, mortified, was about to steal away and forever abandon his favorite dango stand when you blurted out: “Would you like some free dango?”

He was really surprised by your offer; you didn’t seem like the type to approach people so easily. (Later, he learns that it was because of the cat ears. Itachi vows to never regret wearing them again.)

Never one to refuse such kind offers, he accepted and promised to meet you after returning to Nekobaa.

Itachi’s endless patience and kindness surprised you: you thought all Uchihas were sort of stick in the muds, but he didn’t seem to mind your initial quietness and filled the awkward silence with small anecdotes about his little brother.

You two chatted for an amiable hour at the stall, and you didn’t notice that he left some money to pay for the dango until several minutes after his departure.

He began frequenting the dango stand more often, and you two slowly grew acclimated to each other.

When he began taking dangerous missions, he’d always stop by the stall to tell you goodbye. You’d always laugh. “Don’t go dying, or I’ll kill you myself,” you chide, punching his arm.

“Never,” he vows, a smile tugging at his lips.

In a non-Uchiha Massacre AU, you two would grow up to be quite the adorable pair. Whenever Itachi was in the village, he’d do every single gentlemanly gesture he could (helping you with your groceries, holding the door open, etc.). You didn’t want to be the only one accepting things, so you’d gift him with dango or other sweets in return. It was a comfortalbe rhythm you two had, and you gradually got used to engaging with Itachi in idle conversation as you walked around the village.

Itachi fell for you first; he began trying to subtly hint about his feelings to you. First were the compliments (”You’re so kind, you know that?”) which you thought were just his way of cheering you up. Then came the gifts (”I happened to see this necklace while on a mission to Rain and the color reminded me of your eyes.”). And, finally, came the day when he confessed to you.

Itachi had just come back from a mission when he saw some little shits crowding you. They were saying all sorts of things (”You’re ugly.” “What the fuck did you just say?” “Stop laughing, bitch!”) but immediately shut up when they saw the Uchiha heir with his activated Sharingan and hateful gaze. (”I thought he was a pacifist!”)

He turned around, unusually furious to the point that even you shrunk back from him. When he saw how honestly terrified you were, his expression softened. “You know none of that is true, right?” Itachi asked quietly. “They don’t know anything about you, but I do. You’re beautiful. You’re amazing. And you are undoubtedly, most certainly, the kindest person that I’ve met and I wouldn’t have you any other way.”

Then, sensing the awkward atmosphere, Itachi shuffled his feet and looked the most awkward an Uchiha has ever looked. He, too, wasn’t that comfortable with vocalizing his feelings, but he cared for you more than that. “Let’s get some ramen, my treat,” he blurted out. (It was Kushina’s influence; the loud redhead frequently visited the Uchiha compound with her toddler son in tow to play with Sasuke.) (Itachi did not mean for your first date to be at Ichiraku’s and would forever curse himself.) (You didn’t mind, though.)

You couldn’t help but laugh, your heart thudding loudly in your chest. “It almost sounds like you’re asking me on a date.”

“And if I am?”

Itachi is the most understanding, amazing, intelligent, and wonderful person you’ve ever met, in your unbiased opinion. He doesn’t mind your somewhat pointed jokes and understands your subtle actions that convey your affection. He enjoys doing anything that makes you happy, really: the look in your eyes is enough for him. He’d always remind you with little gifts (nothing too expensive, because you told him that you didn’t need things like jewels or flowers every week) of how much he loves you.

“I just...want you to be happy, you know?”

tl;dr The couple that’s so comfortable with each other that you don’t even realize your mutual feelings for the longest time. It’s painful to watch.

You two didn’t really have any special, amazing meeting; one day, Kenma happened to see you playing one of his favorite games in class, and offered a small tip out of the blue after witnessing your struggles.

After that, you slowly began building a tentative friendship.

At first, you simply exchanged small talk about games. It was almost weird how easily you two clicked: Kenma was quiet and reserved, but you could tell that he was very kind. He, on the other hand, appreciated your humor and interest in games, movies, etc.

Eventually, you two didn’t really need words to communicate. From an outsider’s perspective, you two were interesting to watch (especially when discussing movies and games)..

Kuroo, by the way, is your mom/dad friend who has literally vowed to protect you and Kenma with his life. He loves how you make his childhood friend happy. (He also realizes you two like each other way before either of you realize it yourselves.)

One day, you had been discussing a movie you were particularly invested in. Kenma mentioned something about one of the characters, immediately setting you off on a tirade about the shitty character development, cinematography, etc. Kenma watched you with large, rounded eyes (he never knew you could be so talkative).

You abruptly paused in the middle of your passionate monologue when you realized his quiet Kenma had grown.

“....Kenma? You alright?”

Then, to your ever-growing surprise, he burst into laughter.

Ever since that day, you decided to make him laugh as much as possible.

Kenma likes your jokes, for the most part, but disapproves of your self deprecating ones and won’t hesitate to voice his objection. (”You’re not stupid. You can be loud, yes, but you’re so much more than that.”)

Basically, Kenma is willing to step out of his comfort zone for you. You’re the same way.

You two did all sorts of couple-ish things even before formally dating.

Movie nights, game nights, and cuddling (well, more like huddling together in a blanket while watching a horror movie) were the norm for you two. Sometimes, Kuroo would tag along and snicker at both of your reactions.

There’s this running joke between the two of you about creepy, horror-movie stuff. It started when you freaked out over a horror game you two were playing together. (Kenma was pretty surprised: after all, just the other day you were making fun of a creepy horror movie.)

Kuroo was there to witness your reaction and took both of you to a supposedly haunted house (really, just an abandoned building). You started to freak out...in a good way. Ever since then, both Kuroo and Kenma, on special occasions, gift you little trinkets relating to creepy horror material. (”Here’s a Sadako keychain.” “I got you that new yandere dating sim?”)

You realized your feelings for Kenma while talking with Kuroo (who had honestly been trying to push you two in the right direction for the past three fucking months, dammit--).

You...well, even though you hoped Kenma would confess to you, you squared your shoulders and decided that you...would confess.

After all, this was Kenma, the boy who you’ve visited nearly everyday afterschool for some kind of video game marathon or movie spree. He was worth the extra effort.

You knew you’d be a stuttering mess if you tried to do the cliche “confess behind the school” thing, so you decided to give him a gift instead.

Kenma was very, very confused when he saw how flustered you were, holding out a keychain to him.

“A...Frankenstein keychain?” he asked confusedly. Usually, you’d gift him with sketches or something relating to cats (being Nekoma’s heart and all).

“To match with the Frankenstein’s bride keychain you gave me before,” you mumbled, wishing you could hightail it out of there. You steeled yourself, though. You would not run away.

Kenma studied you for a long minute, making you squirm. It was...disconcerting to know that your crush was analyzing you, observing everything about you from head to toe. Slowly, a smile stretched across his face. (He understood your confession.) “Want to walk home together?”

He totally ditched volleyball practice that day out of giddiness. Kuroo -- when informed of your pseudo-confession -- nearly sobbed out of relief. (”Alright, so no more inviting me on your...sort of...date things. I don’t want to be a third wheel again.”) (You knew that was his way of caring for both of you.)

Your first kind-of date was to the movies. Cliche? Yes. Not much opportunity to speak with each other? Yes.

But you didn’t need words. Besides, that was your thing. Movies. When you two exited the theater, pinkies intertwined and light pink dusting your cheeks, Kenma took you to a family restaurant where you could rant as much as you wanted about the movie.

When the rest of the volleyball players (not only Nekoma, but the other schools) found out about your relationship, they were initially hesitant. After seeing how soft Kenma’s expression was around you, though, they welcomed you into the community with open arms. (Hinata, in particular, promised to forever be your number one supporter.) (You two both smiled, but didn’t say anything, knowing that Kuroo would get jealous if you agreed to the prospect.)

This was so long ugh sorry for the wait, everyone! RL has been hectic. Hope you enjoyed this, @dinodiegos! Your detailed matchup bio was amazing lol, so we deliberated for awhile about your matchups. It was a lot of fun! :)

- Mod Camellia

#naruto #itachi uchiha #uchiha itachi #kenma kozume #kozume kenma #haikyuu #haikyuu matchup #haikyuu matchups #matchup #matchups #anime matchups #anime matchup #naruto matchup #anime #hq!!#hq!! matchup #hq matchup

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agent-kentauris · 6 years

Text

im really happy with how this WIP is going right now. it needs work especially with timeline-ing, but i’ll be offline for awhile and it will be a few weeks until i can come back to it, so im gonna put it here on tumblr for now, then probably ao3 once the whole thing is done.

[[WC 5000]]

This is how it feels to watch your best friend fall.

It starts simply.

One day you get a call.

It’s a professional interest.

Your IGNR talk - you were working on neural progenitors. I’ve found a way to control for the effect you mentioned. It goes like this. Can any of your people confirm?

Who is this?

David Sarif. We met at a conference last year.

You don’t remember.

You’ll always regret that.

It’s an academia thing. It isn’t obsession.

It’s late nights, because there is so much to do. He in America, you in England. Skype is a long way away, but Picus has experimental ways to talk, he in the air around you like the ideas, alive. Nano-scale artificial epidermis. Direct epiretinal enhancement. The implication of replication of optical illusions in eye prosthetics. There are things beyond the imagined.

It’s an academic thing. It’s early mornings, because the time difference exists. Though time, you say the first time an early morning effortlessly becomes a late night, time too is purely academic. An exercise in human imagination. Overclocking, he says. Hm? says you.

Overclocking biomechatronics for heat preservation in low temp environments. Read a study about it.

You look up, though he’s thousands of miles away, and smile, because you remember writing that one.

It’s an academic thing, though.

It’s an exchange of ideas.

The mutual pact of similarly minded people walking in the same academic field.

He admits that he was nervous. To call. The first time.

It’s astonishing. You can’t imagine him any less than he is – absolute.

Nervous? Him?

You’re the damn head of the field, he says.

It’s personal.

The academia is slipping.

Let’s not talk about this again, you say.

Alright.

Trick yourself into believing he sounds relieved.

It goes like this.

It’s academic.

His struggling company goes public and you, with a handwave, get him a pass to Tai Yong’s first industry showcase. You owe Ru a favor. It’s a bad position to be in. You present your joint paper on nerve interfaces. He’s alive on stage in a way that captivates even the jaded. Nerve interfaces become unquantifiably fascinating, become the future, become something…with more potential than they possibly have. He paces and points and invites conversation and we are all, for the moment, involved. Way up there, are you beside him, or is he beside you? It doesn’t matter. You owe Ru a favor but you and he are side by side. These places your are at, they equalize.

The paper, you tell yourself, is academic.

The pride when Ru, without prompting, invites him back next year is...

Personal.

It’s a tradition. The start of a tradition. Every year. You and he, at the top of the new world order.

You’ll miss it when it’s gone.

It’s personal.

The integrated workspaces are a given, by now. There was a time when you could work alone, and there was a time when you wanted to, and there was a time when you didn’t. They’re all past. He is a given, outside any conscious choice. Sometimes, it is hours of silence and one typed out what do you think of this, and sometimes, it is a day and a half of discussion you don’t understand when you look back over your notes except one or two sparks of engineered brilliance. Sometimes you don’t take notes. Debate for the joy of it. Scholastic. There is something you missed about the theoretical. And so, the integrated workspaces become a given. The audiolinks. The shared screens. The general document access. A bloody security nightmare, says your IT team. A fucking security nightmare, says his.

But.

It’s acknowledged that you both work better together.

It’s acknowledged that it’s simple synergy.

It’s personal.

In those quiet moments when there is no work to talk about he mentions his family. His company is small enough that it is still a family. You don’t tell him that will change. It might not. Given the way he speaks of them…

You learn their names, slowly. Athene, Josie, Vasili.

You learn to know them as well as anything else you know.

They are an extension of his life, and so you extend a degree of interest towards them.

It’s a personal thing, nothing more.

Lies.

It’s familial.

He’s supposed to be there.

It’s a Nobel prize, for god’s sake.

Is the concern misplaced?

Likely.

Unlikely.

Likely.

I’d like to begin, you start.

Your aide enters the back of the room, panicked eyes. She waves.

Excuse me, you say, immediately, to the titans of the industry.

There’s been an incident, she says.

You are on the next flight.

Your titles and persuasions mean nothing to the doctor standing resilient in front of you. An obstacle unpersuaded by a final desperate do you know who I am?

He’s family, Athene says, squeezing past the doctor and through the door, gesturing, grabbing your arm.

You’ve never seen her in person, but you’d recognize her anywhere.

David’s done a good job bringing things to life, as always.

An assembly line accident, Athene says as you walk.

Will he survive? you ask.

There are several more of them sitting in the waiting room, heads in hands, half-asleep.

One looks up.

Maybe, he says, with a light Russian accent, and shrugs. Maybe not.

Your aide reminds you that the Nobel committee called while you were somewhere over the Atlantic.

They aren’t family.

They don’t matter anymore.

It’s industrial. David’s new arm. The first model. Nothing like the best available at the time, the most realistic, the most integrated, and yet…

You look at the schematics, and the plans, and the design philosophy and it is breathtakingly industrial. Conceptual. Its potential for adaptation far exceeds everything else. It isn’t designed to perform, it’s designed to change. Constantly. It is replicate of a living thing so closely that but for the presence of alloys and angles, you’d forget what you are looking at. It will be an industrial standard, if not today, then tomorrow.

He doesn’t look happy with it.

“I…” he says, trailing off. Two months of rehabilitation therapy and he still has difficulty lifting it. It is industrial, not intuitive. He’ll adapt. He’ll make it better.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this, he says. This was supposed to be yours first.

What? you say.

The schematics were for you.

He shows you. Months of work, kept off your shared workspaces. Biomechatronic prosthetics designed for you, designed for your leg, your knee.

The arm he created will become an industry standard. This, though…

This is science fiction.

He flexes his prosthetic fingers with difficulty. This is just an adaptation, he says. Not a good one, either. But that one…that’ll work.

It doesn’t.

They call it DDS.

He has several folders full of the research on your shared servers. Studies based on your DNA.

If you were more astute perhaps you would have noticed, then.

If you were less lost you might have noticed it then.

You could have saved him.

Stopped him.

One or the other.

It’s academic.

It has to be.

It’s all you can handle, at the moment.

The first year of recovering is hell. The migraines. The dizziness. The flashback imprinted memories of those first few days of seizures, the first sign that anything was truly wrong. You should be glad, people say without thinking, that it was only the control chip they implanted. The chip is one centimeter by one centimeter. You had it for twelve days. You can’t see straight for a month. You can’t leave the house without sunglasses for four months. Walking was never easy for you. You don’t recover enough of your balance to stand for half a year.

You miss the Tai Yong conference.

He presents a paper on rejection syndrome.

You can’t even listen to the audio recordings without the migraines getting bad enough to black your vision out.

You don’t hear from him for a year, because, you can’t.

The flashbacks lurk so quietly.

The things you ignore for the sake of your survival.

He’s shaking during a presentation in New York ten pm local, and another one in Berlin one am local. At home, in the dark, you leverage your connections to discover he took a Concord between both places.

He calls you. You don’t pick up.

Did you sleep? you wonder.

We’re getting there, he says in a BBC interview at seven am local. It’s all theoretical, but we’re doing genometric sequences. If we can find the right code, we can reverse DDS. Universal augmentations.

They’re taking questions from twitter.

You make a fake account.

Augmentations? you ask.

PR says it’ll be beyond prosthetics, he says, looking at the camera. There are lines under his eyes and he can’t hold steady but his voice is unwavering. I agree.

The things you ignore for your survival.

The new American Recession rippling out across all the Illuminati’s plans. One emergency council meeting after another. They call you to several. Why don’t you go?

Picus reports financial news. One day, SI is down fifty points. The next day it is not. The things you ignore. The council in intrigued. Ru is annoyed.

He calls you. You don’t pick up.

Find out what is going on, they instruct.

He calls you. You don’t pick up.

It’s DARPA contracts, the council’s military insiders eventually discover. DARPA contracts and military money. They’ll be keeping an eye on him.

The things you ignore for your survival.

The Tai Yong conference gets moved from Shanghai to Hengsha. DI sends representatives. So does SI. Sarif himself is busy, it seems, working on personal projects.

Vasily comes to England for an official Darrow-Sarif Industries collaboration. No one tells you. You learn about it when the paper is published.

It’s a wake up call.

It goes like this.

Dowd says, in New York, then?

Morgan says, the new kids don’t take too well to old money.

Ru says, the new kids?

Lucius voice breaks in, commanding. Hengsha is the seat of our power in this regards, and you, Ru, our primary control mechanism on that sector. It will take place at TYM’s headquarters.

Rand says under his breath, if Hugh will leave London, that is.

The things you’ve ignored for your survival. None of them admonish Rand for his remark.

“Forgive me,” you say. The voice-scrambler controls for the way you struggle with the efforts of still being awake right now. “We’re discussing…?”

There is a moment of silence on the line.

Perhaps it’s disbelief.

Perhaps you don’t care.

David Sarif’s recruitment? Dowd says, a question in his tone.

Ru is far more blunt.

Are you with us? she asks.

“No,” you say. “When?”

There is another moment of silence on the line.

There is no room for sympathy at the top of the world.

Next week, Ru finally says. No one else says anything.

Ah, you say. Next week, then.

It’s a wake-up call.

It’s four a.m. in David’s part of America.

s’David, he answers, slurred in the middle of a yawn.

“Tai Yong is going to ask you to meet with them in one week. Don’t say yes, David.” Urgency infects the speed at which you speak, making it less likely that he will understand. You can’t slow yourself.

Hugh? he says, sleepy, surprised, in shock. Is that you?

“David, listen to me-”

Now he’s awake. It’s instant. He’s furious. You can’t get a word in edgewise. Where have you been? Where have you goddamn been?! It’s fury covering up for something sadder, though, something that tinges his voice with a nervous tremor you haven’t heard since- since- since I’ve found a way to control the effect. It goes like this.

“DON’T,” you insist, your voice harder than it’s ever been with him, “tell them yes.”

It stops him in his verbal tracks.

If it injures him, you’ll forgive yourself.

And yet, the quiet you suffer far worse than the preceding tirade.

“Why?” he asks.

You don’t have an answer. Only urgency.

“Please, David,” you say instead.

He’s fast on the uptake. Maybe too fast.

“Is someone threatening you?” he asks. It’s an academic interest, you tell yourself.

You open your mouth to say something, then close it.

Is someone threatening you?

Are they?

Who are they threatening, exactly?

What’s wrong? What’s so wrong?

What is so wrong with you?

“I’m asking you this as a friend,” you say. “I won’t ask again.”

A bit of a laugh from David. This time the disbelief is present.

“Are you threatening me?” he asks.

“The only threat,” you say, “is Tai Yong Medical. You will not go.”

“Fine,” he says coolly. It’s another thing you’ve never heard from him.

Nonetheless, it is perhaps the most relaxing thing he could have said.

“David-” you start, not knowing how to explain.

Except.

He’s hung up.

On you.

Two weeks later the council convenes and invites you so they can berate you for your absence at TYM’s headquarters, and then they proceed to talk about integration steps for their latest member, and where he will fit in, and what rank Sarif will be given, and you are certain that the DDS should no longer be causing extreme dizziness, yet. You can barely keep your world still.

It’s a wake-up call.

It’s the first time you’ve stepped foot inside his Detroit headquarters. It’s the first time you’ve come into contact with it. Sarif hasn’t connected it to your shared workspaces. Why would he? You’re never online. It’s cold, and gold, and alight in an inorganic way. The lights are replicas of something that used to come naturally, to him. The angles celebratory in their unfamiliarity with nature. We are something more than real, the construction says.

Much of this was paid for by DARPA contracts, you think.

There are several lightboard pillars displaying the history of biomechatronics – no, augmentations. You’re on one of them.

Hugh Darrow’s groundbreaking work with human enhancement has altered the very fabric of society.

It would not be a mistake to say that he changed the world as we know it.

Past tense.

You’ve got time.

You’ve got time to stop this.

You don’t recognize him. His new augment is solid black, with silver in the joints. The lines of it are sharp, and unapologetic. Artistic. Aesthetic.

The industrial is a memory.

Athene sees you before he does. She’s past shock, going straight to anger.

“You,” she hisses, eyes flaring, cutting David off mid-sentence. “Absolutely not.”

David leans off her desk as she snaps around it, a security officer in her wake.

“Hugh?” he says, tone empty. “What are you doing here?”

Athene holds up a hand. “You don’t have to talk to him, David.”

The security officer at her side crosses his arms. Your own security bristles in response.

“If you don’t mind,” you say.

“Oh, but I do,” she says. “I very much do.”

You look past her, towards David. He meets you with a tired stare.

His eyes are silver, too.

It’s a shock.

What happened?

When did it happen?

Why weren’t you watching?

“David,” you say.

He says nothing.

“If you want to speak to Mr. Sarif,” Athene says, “you’ll need an appointment.”

“That’s beneath you, Athene,” you inform her.

“I don’t think you have a right to say that,” she says.

The jab lashes at some vulnerable part of you, stings, because, there is no defense. Perhaps it’s beneath her. Perhaps it was beneath you, to wait so long, to stay away so long. To live as if underwater for so long.

Perhaps it wasn’t.

Perhaps it doesn’t matter.

This is more important.

“It’s about Them,” you say over her shoulder.

“Who?” she says.

You watch him. You still know him. Under the framework of these past few years, under the new things and the learned things, it’s still him. Considering, calculating, weighing, even though he’d already decided the moment he heard you. He taps his hand against the side of his desk as he thinks, but his subconscious has already decided.

The only thing you don’t know is what conclusion he’s reached.

You would have assumed…

But he went to meet them.

And you don’t know anymore.

You can’t guess anymore.

His eyes should be bright under the lights in the office, but instead they are muted and dull.

He nods his head towards his office.

“Come on,” he says. “Athene, let him through.”

Her eyebrows shoot up, and she gives a half-laugh.

“Athene,” he repeats. “It’s about Hengsha.”

She locks into neutral with alarming speed. Every tell concealed. How bad was it? What happened? What was he told, and why did he buy it, if Athene is…? The piece don’t add up. The concern is growing. Spiraling. Now is not the time to lose control.

Control it.

She steps back wordlessly.

Your security looks at you.

“Wait here,” you tell her.

Back then, there was no danger.

It should be a relief.

“They’re called the Illuminati,” you begin.

Everett. Lucius. Ru, Rand, Dowd. The Council of Five, Versalife, Picus. Everything David knows, everywhere he comes from, everywhere anyone who is anyone comes from these days is under their influence. All under their purview. All under their control. Their goal? The new world order. You tell him everything.

He laughs at first, then he grows quiet, then he grows somber. He stops pacing around the office and sits across the desk from you, and watches you, and fidgets with a pen in his hands.

When you finish, he stops twirling the pen through his fingers.

“You’re telling me this why?” he asks.

It’s the only thing he says.

You don’t have an answer.

“You aren’t curious as to how I’ve come to know about their plans?” you ask, deflecting.

“Easy,” he says, with a shrug. “You’re one of ‘em.”

“I could be a rebel, fighting against a corrupt system,” you say, in jest.

In jest.

“Corrupt?” he asks, and he’s dead serious. “From what they said, sounds like they’ve got the right idea.”

You can’t speak for a moment. You never expected he’d agree with them.

“I know you don’t believe that,” you say, when you can.

“Why not?” he says, shrugging again. “Tai Yong’s on the forefront of innovation. So are you. They’ve got the money and the power to make it work. To do what we have to so we can get it done.”

“They-” you say, slowly, struggling to work past the flat astonishment at hearing him say anything in line with Illuminati beliefs. “They believe in... they believe in control, and stagnation, and they will never let humanity achieve our potential, never let you achieve your potential, David, surely you must understand-”

“What makes you think they won’t?” he challenges, leaning back into chair. “What makes you so sure about that?”

“You can’t be so naïve,” you say. “Look at the larger picture, David. Your work with human enhancement has the potential to alter the very fabric of-”

“-society,” he finishes, rueful smile. “You’re gonna have to do better than that, Hugh, I wrote that damn paragraph.”

“It applies,” you say. “Doesn’t it?”

He pushes himself up.

“You’re wasting your time.” he says, with an air of finality. “I told them yes. I meant it.”

He walks around you, towards the door.

“David, you can’t trust them-”

“Then I can’t trust you,” he points out. “You’re one of them, aren’t you?”

A sudden, sore pain encircles your throat.

“David,” you protest. “I’m not here as an Illuminatus. I’ve never been here as an Illuminatus.”

“Haven’t you, though?” he says, tilting his head slightly.

“No,” you say firmly. “I haven’t. And I’m hurt you would think that of me.”

“Think what?” he says. “I’m not the one accusing them of being all that bad. Athene?” he adds, pushing the door open. “We’re done here.”

It’s not fear. Why would it be? The Illuminati are…are not that bad? Correct? They are a part of you and they have never been the threat to humanity. Chaos has. And yet…it’s something.

Imagine him, with cold eyes, and control. Looking down at the world from someplace disconnected. Imagine him, unchanging. Unevolving.

Static.

Cessation.

You’ll lose him.

It’s not fear making breathing a conscious act, it’s not fear making you feel the impact of your heart rate. It isn’t fear making your voice rise. It isn’t, you tell yourself. It’s not. It’s not fear, because it’s not possible he’ll go through with this. They are antithetical to him. The two cannot coexist. They’ll destroy him. Everything that is him. The telos inherent.

“David, it’s critical that you listen to me,” you insist.

“I did,” he says. “Next time you want to stop by too late you feel free to.”

He gestures towards the waiting area, a please leave sweep of his augmented arm.

“Me, I’ve got work to do,” he says.

It doesn’t make sense.

It doesn’t.

This hurt encircling you doesn’t. His decisions don’t.

“This can’t be what you want,” you say.

“Would you know, Hugh?” he asks. “It’s been three years. Would you really know?”

You haven’t heard it counted out loud.

“Three years?” you repeat.

It’s a sarcastic snort. “Almost. You weren’t counting the days? I was.”

“Don’t make this about you,” you say. “I was injured.”

“Yeah, I know,” he says, Athene appearing briskly beside him with a scowl on her face. “You really thought the best way for me to figure that out was from your press secretary? It was my design, Hugh. You were my friend.”

Past tense.

“Don’t pretend as if you don’t still care,” you say, feeling like you’ve lost a battle that was suddenly more important than you realized. “This issue doesn’t go away because you feel slighted.”

“Slighted?” he says, looking away, nodding. “That what you think? Is that what you think?” He bites on his lip. “Huh,” he says. “Slighted. Who’d have thought.”

“You need to leave,” Athene says, her voice a hard line, the security behind her an ultimatum.

Walking in a straight line is difficult. Walking in a straight line and making it look as if it takes no effort is not possible.

He moves aside, and does not look at you.

“David,” you say, not knowing what to follow it up with, not knowing what to say. You have to say something. You have to stop this.

He gives you a tight, professional Picus-polished smile, and clips back into his office. Athene shuts the door behind him, keeping her eyes fixed on you the whole time.

“Why is he doing this?” you say, half to yourself, half in the hopes that Athene will answer.

“You should already know that,” she says, walking back over to her desk. “I’m not inclined to help you figure it out, Mr. Darrow.”

It’s not encouraging. But she is answering. And David is not.

“Please,” you say. “They’ll be the end of him. I know they will.”

Her steps falter, for a beat.

And it is opportunity.

A chance.

It might be a chance.

“What has he told you?” you ask.

“I’m not at liberty to discuss that,” she says, but she turns around to face you. “What do you know?”

Oh god, it is a chance.

“Much,” you say, talking fast, because if you miss this chance, and if this is the last one, you will never forgive yourself. “I know that they and he are not alike. Their natures are dissimilar. I know that the he and they can’t coexist, that they have ulterior motives far beyond anything he can understand. No. Beyond anything he will allow himself to understand. I know this can’t be what he wants.”

Her eyes soften, a bit.

“I was worried it might be so,” she says. “Tell me everything.”

“No,” you say, an instant reaction. David is a different matter from all the other people you know. He’s different.

“It isn’t safe for you,” you add, in response to her newly crossed arms.

“Then I suppose,” she says, “you’ve done all you can. Thank you for your concern, Mr. Darrow.”

It’s slipping away. It’s getting away from you.

“I…” you say.

“Yes?” she says.

“I…no.”

“Hm,” she says, and crosses the rest of the way to her desk.

The sound of her typing accompanies you to the lift.

You reach it. You press the call button. You imagine David in ten years, twenty. With every passing minute the outcome seems worse. The two cannot coexist. And the Illuminati is too powerful to be brought down by one man.

They’ll kill him.

Will they kill him?

It’s not like them to waste an asset.

It’s not like him to be controlled.

What can’t be controlled can’t be called an asset.

The chaotic can only be a threat.

Who is being threatened, here?

It doesn’t matter.

All that matters is the man sitting twenty feet away alone in his office, and all that matters is that if you leave, you’ll never be this close to him again. The personal stake is academic. The academic stake is irrelevant. The thing invoking fear and causing your chest to tighten and calling forth the seizure-fringed flashbacks is something far deeper. Something essential. Something deep-rooted and complex and related, perhaps, to love. No. It’s something simple.

You can’t lose him.

Not to them.

The lift arrives with a ping, and it becomes a conscious thought.

I can’t lose him. Not to them.

You don’t realize it then, but it is perhaps the first time you’re aware that you can lose to them. That you and they are distinct. That your losses are not their losses.

That your gains will not be their gains.

The doors have opened. And now, they are closing.

Your security says, Mr. Darrow?

You turn around. Athene is looking up.

“Well?” she says.

It’s money.

That’s all it is.

That’s all it comes down to.

You’ve underestimated the depth of his research into DDS.

The media has grossly underestimated the depth of his research into DDS.

He’s been killing himself over this, she says, hardly pulling her punches. She takes some pity on you, though. When she says this, you know she means you.

Half the company is devoted to it. He’s determined to beat it. He blames himself, she says. For what happened to you.

He couldn’t have known.

Don’t play that game with me.

He couldn’t have.

It comes down to money, though. He’s burned through his resources, his connections, reached the end of every route he knows and he still hasn’t solved it.

It’s a last resort. They must have known. The Council has offered him the power to reach a higher level of enlightenment.

He’s taken it.

All you have to do, she says, is offer him an alternative. Any alternative. Coming from you, he’ll take it.

Athene accompanies you back to SI, back to the lift.

She holds to door to his office open for you.

The frown flashes fast across David’s face. “Don’t-”

“Neuropozyne,” you say. You’ve invented the word right then and there. Even the merest idea of the drug is still only a concept. You say it with confidence, as if it is a certainty.

“What about it?” he asks, with a suspicious that is only tempered by Athene’s presence.

“You don’t know it,” you tell him. “We haven’t released any information about it. But it’s designed to treat DDS – minor cases, at least. We could work with it, though.”

“Yeah?” he says, still leaned over his keyboard, still unwilling to engage.

“We could have it commercially viable as soon as the end of the year,” you say, the promises coming wild off the top of your head now. Why not?

“I would have heard about it,” he says.

“You wouldn’t have.”

“Yeah?” he says again, this time pushing his chair back, and resting his arms on the sides. A false air of open congeniality.

“Yes,” you affirm. “Because I only invented it a moment ago.”

It is the highlight of your arrogance. The breadth of your assumptions. A desperate hope that you can take this leap and some god-forsaken-how, your intelligence will catch you.

He regards you for a second, then two, then more. You catch yourself breathing too quickly.

The wearied lines in the corner of his eyes disappear as he breaks out into a smile.

“God, I’ve missed you,” he says. “Where the hell have you been, Hugh? You got a lot to catch up on.”

He’s out of his chair and across the room in an instant, grabbing your free forearm and pulling you into a hug, always the one for the importance of tactility, and he says come on, I’ll take you on a tour of the place, and Athene’s dangerous edge dissipates, a bit.

It should be a relief. It should all be a relief.

Instead, it is the first time you’ve felt fear. True fear.

Your goals and their goals are no longer the same.

And you are well aware what happens to their enemies.

You are well aware of what happens to their traitors.

The council is lousy with misunderstanding.

Dis-understanding?

Un-understanding?

They’ve only heard yes for far too long.

You watch it defy their framework of understanding so uniquely.

Lucius and Rand are ready to write David off. Morgan and Ru are taking a long game stance on the issue. Dowd seems caught somewhere between American patriotic pride in Sarif and aristocratic perturbation.

“I can convince him,” you tell them. You are lightheaded with the defiance. It is a risk beyond any other. Beyond anything you’ve taken since…

Since your skiing incident, you think.

Oh, how have you missed that adrenaline.

You tell them that you can convince David, and they trust you.

The risk is heady, but you don’t think about what happens if-

When that trust becomes eroded.

When that trust becomes eroded…

Well. We can’t all live forever, can we?

Best not to let them catch on, then.

#WIP #deus ex #david sarif & hugh darrow #david sarif #hugh darrow #what how are we still pre dxhr with this

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artificialqueens · 7 years

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Supersonic; Stars Are Falling And So Are You (Pearlet) - shadyqueenie

A/N: I know I should be posting “It’s not personal, it’s fiction” but I had this idea and I wanted to write it so, so, so bad… that I did. End of the story. It’s a collection of one-shots, each one has a focus on a specific pairing. The only leitmotiv is the setting – the fashion business. The title is Supersonic just because I’m obsessed with Detox’ songs (you can listen it here). K! Today’s pairing is Pearlet, with Matt and fem!Violet – Matt sees Violet a year after their breakup. Based on a personal story of mine. (Actually, I’m using this collection as an outburst. Sorry!) Hope you’ll enjoy it! (catch me on @shadyqueenie here on Tumblr if you want a specific pairing, or (as always!) correct my grammar mistakes!) Your duh, shady

SUPERSONIC – STARS ARE FALLING AND SO ARE YOU (PEARLET)

They don’t pay me enough. Matt repeated this line like a pray, sit in the backseat of a luxurious car. Traffic was so dead slow Matt couldn’t bear anymore his restlessness. He suddenly realized he was eating his nails. It was something he started doing since he accepted the job as Michelle’s personal assistant, almost a year ago. When he gave up modeling, he wanted nothing to do with that world a single moment anymore. But he had bills to pay and had almost no education. Since he was sixteen Matt has been doing nothing but modeling, and gravitating towards fashion business. So, as Michelle offered him a job he immediately took it. And immediately he regretted it. Being the assistant of the stylist of one of the most important fashion houses of the country sounded like an appealing job – but in the end was a never-ending series of “bring me a coffee”, “carry the models to the sets” and sometimes even “do the laundry”. Matt went from being the spoiled model to the one that spoils the models in a handful of days. He didn’t even have enough time to sleep, and that was the most triggering aspects of his new job.

Yes, Matt was bored stiff. But then, that day, Michelle called him at her office for his daily schedule. “Just one thing today Matt, and I know I might ask too much but… A model is arriving at the airport for tomorrow’s runway show. I need you to come and pick her, since she doesn’t want to reach her hotel by taxi” she looked up to the sky, giving him the impression that she wasn’t really pleased by that behavior. Matt raised an eyebrow – Michelle wasn’t an easygoing person. Usually when models come with ridiculous requests she was used to ditch them, searching for someone else. “Ok” he simply replied. Honestly, it was none of his business. “Don’t you even ask me who she is? Aren’t you curious?” “Do I have to?” “Well…” Michelle took a deep breath and played for a bit with one of the enormous ring she was wearing “I will tell you, so you won’t be surprised… Nor that I think your face can handle more than expression that you always have” she joked, but then suddenly she became serious as she looked at Matt right in the eyes “It’s Violet.” “Oh.” So, that’s why Michelle had that ridiculous smile printed on her face. Did she choose Violet on purpose? Knowing Michelle, it could be – after all, she knew why Matt gave up modeling. He’s been Violet’s fiancé for years. He imagined a happily ever after life with her. Maybe with children, a tiny countryside house, a medium-sized dog with a pedigree and a bunch of shits about what he didn’t care anymore. When they broke up Matt felt so heartbroken he didn’t want to model anymore, as it remembers him all the good times he had with her lover and job partner. “Ok, no problem. When do I have to leave?” “Now? There’s a car outside waiting for you” Michelle was surprised Matt didn’t bat any eyelids at her request. But Matt era was made that way – he didn’t let go out even a single emotion “And Matt…?” “Yes?” he stopped by the door as Michelle called him. “Don’t waist time during the travel.” Matt didn’t even bother to reply, but waved at her and exited. Michelle sighed. Matt was unprofessional, but she grew fond of him since the first time she hired him as a model, almost seven years ago. Even if he looked like a sleeping beauty he was focused on his tasks, and in the end he became an excellent assistant. Moreover, his carefree attitude didn’t let him cry when Michelle shouted at him because she was stressed-out at the Fashion Week – and that was definitely a bonus.

He waited for Violet at the airport entrance. Unexpectedly, he didn’t felt nervous, nor anxious. Not even happy, though. Seeing her didn’t matter anymore. But… was she expecting to see him? The answer arrived minutes before. As Violet realized he was the one that was waiting for her, she stopped walking. She paused for what seemed a century, and then continued walking slowly, step by step. Behind her large sunglasses Matt could tell she was looking at him right in the eyes, her usual and mischievous smile printed on her pale face. “Well” it was the only word that exited her lips in a long time. “Hi, Violet. I’m Michelle’s assistant” “And what’s your name…?” She said playfully, handing him over a leather carryall. Matt simply looked at her. A year has passed, and she still looked as the day they spilt. Apart from her hair color – now a platinum blonde that hardened her features, there were nothing remarkable of new on her. She kept on wearing those old-fashioned dresses and curling her hair. Of course, she was beautiful. Matt heard form mutual friends that that year she travelled the world and was on the cover of a lot of fashion magazines. He couldn’t complain Michelle for wanting Violet to be one of the leading models in her Fashion Week’s runway. “I’m working Violet, and I don’t really want to play those kind of games” he replied annoyed as he took her luggage. Not that it was his duty carrying her luggage, he just wanted to be polite – a real gentleman – and avoiding sparks for an argument. “That’s a pity… I remember you were really into role playing” she tried to tease him once more. Her voice was loud as she was trying to call the entire airport’s attention. And she succeeded, but the only one who didn’t look at her was the focus of her attentions. Rolling her eyes, Violet followed him three steps back.

“That’s what you do now? Michelle’s lapdog?” she asked once they entered in the car. She protruded towards him, a bit too way flirty for Matt’s taste. “It’s called assistant. I needed a job and was the best one I could have found” he decided to ignore her as much as he could – that’s why he kept his glance on his phone while talking. He was also trying to reply at Michelle’s message. She asked how things were going, but Matt was so pissed off he replied with a simple ‘done’. ‘Just act professional’ was the only thing Michelle replied. He could her sighing for miles. “You’re too old to model?” her sneaky comment called his attention, though he found it pretty rude. She knew, he was sure of that. He raised an eyebrow, looking at her ex fiancé “And you?”, but the tone he used was more like a joke than a dare. Violet smiled at him. She wasn’t really used at Matt doing jokes so, even if she didn’t think that was a good one, tried to laugh. But Matt never tells jokes, and Violet never laughs. “Do you remember last year? Today, a year ago, we staying in that beautiful suite…” she whispered those words, slightly touching his arm. The blonde kept looking at her, nauseated by that behavior. It was like he didn’t want to talk to her. Well, he actually didn’t want to talk to her. Matt avoided the ‘Violet topic’ for almost a year, and remembering the good old times wasn’t easy. Especially the old, good times with her. “Violet” Matt sighed “I don’t want to talk about us, honestly” “Then you can at least tell me why did you stop being a model? You know you were good” she tried again. “Why do you want to talk?” “Because we have never had the chance since…” “…since I found you and Miss Fame in our bed?” he finally told it. He couldn’t take it anymore. It was last year’s spring. They were hard times for them, always arguing and fighting. In spite of that, they were still together and Matt was even thinking about proposing. But then once, when he entered their home he found Violet having sex in their bed with one of the models he hated most. He felt his heart cracking. Matt swore he actually heard a faint sound – like a glass crushing into the floor. He locked himself in a hotel room for days, avoiding his friends, his family and most of all he avoided Violet. He cried and slept and drank way too much. A week later he exited the room and he felt as if he was a new person – he decided that Violet was a bitch, that she didn’t deserve his tears. And never spoke of her again to anyone. “Yes.“ she breathed. "I don’t really feel like talking. With you, about you” “I know it was wicked of me letting you know I was in love with someone else in that way. But it has been a year. Can you just…?” she looked at him with puppy eyes. It made Matt’s blood boiled. That glance was something Violet used to do when they argued, because she knew that was one of Matt’s weak spot. He was aware of what Michelle wrote him moments before, but he couldn’t handle it. Not after a year, as Violet remembered him. “No Violet, I can’t ‘just’. And you know why? Because you’re a spoiled bitch. You don’t love anyone but you. Not me, not Miss Fame. And I’m so sorry for her when she’ll find it out. Because that’s it – everything’s about you, your desires and your life. You want to talk now? I don’t want to listen to you anymore! Guess what? I’m here because I’m forced to, not because I’m delighted to stay by your side – as you might have thought” he paused, just for a second, trying to catch his breath. Yes, definitely too many words for him “The world does not revolve around you. And you’re not a princess, you’re just a whore.” Since he started talking, Violet looked at him with mouth open. She didn’t think of Matt capable of such a long speech, or such a loud voice. She was almost impressed. But he tried to harm her with words and Violet couldn’t let him got away with it “Maybe I’m not a princess, maybe the world does not revolve around me, but you know what? I was trying to stay in good terms. You don’t want it because you’re jealous of me.” “Of you?!” “Yes! Because I’m still a famous model, because I travel the world and have a fucking gorgeous girlfriend. While you are just Michelle’s assistant. You are a loser, Matt.” Two minutes after, the car stopped. Matt took her luggage and carried Violet to the hotel for the check in. “I’ll come and pick you tomorrow at 11a.m. Don’t be late” said Matt as soon as she was given the key for her room. He didn’t bother waiting for an answer, and left the building without saying goodbye. The next morning Violet did not try starting a conversation with him. She kept her glance down to her phone during all the travel. It has been a difficult night for Matt. He felt bad because of what he told Violet, but he knew that it was good for him. After a year he felt a bit lighter. Luckily the travel didn’t last too much, and as soon as the car stopped Violet rushed towards Michelle, who welcomed her with open arms “My dear”, she said with a beaming smile. “Michelle” Violet kissed her cheeks and smiled in turn. Matt knew she was not happy at all, he could tell by her eyes. He cursed himself for knowing Violet so well after all that time. “How was the trip? And how Matt behaved?” Michelle asked apprehensively. The last thing she wanted was that one of her leading models was pissed off. Violet looked at Matt “Fine. Matt wasn’t suited for being a model. This jobs suits him better” she had a pop at him “Not everyone can be stars”. “Watch out, Violet” Matt replied glacial “Sooner or later, all the stars will fall” “Not me” she rebutted with a malicious wink, before heading to the backstage. “Matthew James” Michelle said nothing but his full name. Her tone sounded like a scolding. “Yup, sorry. It’s just- she’s so…” Michelle smiled and patted his shoulder in sympathy “Got it. But I expect you to act more professional next time” as soon as she said that, her phone rang “Ok, I’ll be there in a minute. Matt” she raised a hand towards him, trying to catch his attention “I think your job’s done. If you want to stay in the backstage and see the runway show that’s fine. I could use some help later” The blonde guy nodded and put himself on the bench, trying to avoid nervous seamstress, clumsy assistants and hysteric models. Most of the people might have thought that the scenario was insane – but Matt missed it. He missed the sensation he was feeling every time spotlights were on him, how professional make up artists gave him those fancy looks, how people looked at him – envious of his grace. And now, he was no one. Just Michelle’s assistant – Violet was right. And that was all because he couldn’t divide his personal life with his career. After their breakup with Violet he tried to walk the runway, or posing in front of a camera – but he always looked tired, annoyed and, most of all, sleepy. So people started not to call him anymore. There were rumors about him abusing of drugs. Once he heard a photographer saying “this could be the only reason why he looks always so sleepy. He must have an addiction on Xanax, or Valium. Or some shits like those. I don’t think we can work with him anymore”. His heart cracked again. He was 24 and his career was already over.

Following his train of thoughts, he didn’t even realize that the lights went off. It was the sign the runway show was about to start. For his position he could see all the models entering the runway, while he was standing just next to the exit. As models walked next to him, they waved at him, or breathed a “hi!” – after all most of them knew Matt since they worked together. But every time Matt lowered his glance – in their eyes he must have looked pathetic, standing there as if he was trying to relieve his past. Then his glance met Violet’s. She was the next one on the runway, and she was looking at him back. She blew him a kiss, cocky as Matt remembered her. The second after she was ready for walk the runway. Michelle wanted only beautiful models, and Violet was no exception. She knew how to seduce his audience, how to walk in a professional yet super provocative way. The way she looked in front of her, confident because of her charming glance, was part of her allure – and was also what made Matt fall in love with her once. Violet turned around, ready to cross the exit. Matt, attracted like a magnet, protruded in order to see her better, and that was one of the best decision he had made in ages.

Otherwise, he wouldn’t have been able to see Violet falling, just a few steps before the exit, as one of her heels collapsed. It was a massive fall. The audience went with some laughs and “oh!” and Matt was so sorry, he couldn’t help but laughed too. Still, as he saw Violet struggled standing up, he was the only one who helped her. He walked shyly towards her and extended his hand. His first time in a runway after a while and he was next to Violet – how ironical. Not everyone would have helped Violet, if they were Matt. But he has been in love with that beautiful woman. And she has been in love with him. They used to watch old fashioned films, enjoying expensive cocktails in luxurious bar, traveling together. He loved spoiling her with jewels, and she loved buying him neckties. They spent almost five years together, maybe the time of their lives, and they both knew it. Violet and Matt were once in love with each other, and that was undeniable. That’s why he couldn’t stand seeing her that way. She looked at him imploring, tears coming in her eyes. Matt has never see her more humiliated. It was strange, painful but still satisfying. For the first time in a year, Matt felt like he was a winner. For once, he was right. “Stars are falling, my dear Violet. And so are you.”

(to my ex boyfriend – you shady little bastard, what an amazing experience seeing you falling from the runway)

#supersonic #shadyqueenie #pearlet #violet chachki #pearl liaison #rpdr fanfiction #m/f au

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whalefairyfandom12 · 7 years

Text

Lie To Make Me Like You

Summary:

“Phil Lester.” Dan supplied. “He’s my plus one.”

Charlie raised an eyebrow, eyes darting between the two of them suggestively. “Oh? How long have you two been together?”

Dan blanched. “Sorry, we’re not...actually--”

“A little over seven years, isn’t it Dan?” his mum piped up cheerfully. “I remember the first time you stayed over at Phil’s. You still haven’t stopped talking about him.”

“Maybe the next Howell wedding will be yours,” Mae teased, flicking the end of his tie.

Dan shot a look towards Phil, panic rising. Enough awkward socializing had made them fairly fluent in speaking through eye contact and minute gestures, and as their eyes met Phil smiled lightly as if to say ‘I’m okay with it if you are.’ Dan, being the incompetent, horribly introverted idiot he was, latched onto the idea and ran with it.“Yeah,” he said, laughing in a way that he hopes comes off more as fond and less what the fuck did I just get myself into. “Maybe.”

Notes: This was written for alittledizzy as part of Fandom Trumps Hate using the following prompt:

-Someone assuming Dan and Phil are a couple who doesn't recognize them and Dan and Phil letting them assume that and enjoying being able to act like a couple.

I had a lot of fun writing this and getting to work with you; thank you so much for bidding on my writing and I really hope you enjoy it :))

Word Count: 2302

For the most part Dan tried to keep his personal and business lives separate. He wasn’t very close with most of his family, and enough encounters with viewers who didn’t quite grasp the concept of boundaries only served to reinforce this decision. Aside from his immediate family he rarely saw the rest of the Howell Clan, and so it was a bit of a surprise to receive an invitation to his cousin Mae and Charlie’s wedding.

He vaguely remembered Mae--a precocious eight year old with a habit of pulling his hair, and the smiling woman on the front of the card bore a passing resemblance. To be perfectly honest he’d forgotten she existed; he didn’t think they’d spoken since they were children and he’d never heard of Charlie. His mum had wanted him to go, though, so naturally he’d forced Phil to come and suffer with him. While Phil might have had reservations about taking Dan to the Lester family gatherings, he had no such qualms about taking him to the Howells.

His parents loved Phil, and even Adrian had a grudging respect for the man. Besides, Phil was better at tying ties, remembering general wedding etiquette, and covering Dan’s social ineptitude so there was that, too. The wedding ceremony had been quite long, but the food had more than made up for it. Dan had finished dinner feeling so full he felt a little like throwing up, but based on the heaping pile of food on Phil’s plate it didn’t look like the feeling was mutual.

“It looks like you took half the dessert table,” he noted, taking a bite of the cake--some sort of lemon with vanilla frosting.

Phil made a satisfied noise, popping another biscuit in his mouth. “It’s not my fault, I’m a growing boy.”

“You’re pushing thirty.”

He smiled sweetly. “You should keep a better eye on your cereal, then.”

Dan noticed absently that Phil’s tie was the same shade of blue as his eyes. “I gave up a long time ago. I did try, but somebody kept stealing it.”

Phil tried to straighten his features into the picture of casual concern, but the glimmer in his eyes betrayed him. “Hmm. Maybe you should try hiding it in a smarter place.”

Dan rolled his eyes. “Or maybe I should find a new roommate.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“No, I wouldn’t,” he agreed. Someone tugged on the back of his hair, and he turned to find Mae standing behind him, beaming. It was good to know some things never changed. “Congratulations,” he said, the sentiment echoed by the rest of the people at the table. Charlie wrapped his arms around Mae’s waist, resting his chin on her shoulder. She smiled, resting a hand on his cheek.

"I don’t think we’ve met,” Charlie said, eyes warm and brown.

“Dan, Adrian, Donna, Steve, and…” Mae trailed, off, making a face and gesturing at Phil. “Sorry, I don’t think we’ve met either.”

“Phil Lester.” Dan supplied. “He’s my plus one.”

Charlie raised an eyebrow, eyes darting between the two of them suggestively. “Oh? How long have you two been together?”

Dan blanched. “Sorry, we’re not...actually--”

“A little over seven years, isn’t it Dan?” his mum piped up cheerfully. “I remember the first time you stayed over at Phil’s. You still haven’t stopped talking about him.”

“Maybe the next Howell wedding will be yours,” Mae teased, flicking the end of his tie.

Dan shot a look towards Phil, panic rising. You didn’t live together for half a decade as openly bisexual men without some rumors circulating, and that wasn’t counting the speculation online. But while he and Phil weren’t strangers to people assuming they were in a relationship, this was the first time it had been shoved unavoidably in front of them.

Enough awkward socializing had made them fairly fluent in speaking through eye contact and minute gestures, and as their eyes met Phil smiled lightly as if to say ‘I’m okay with it if you are.’ Dan, being the incompetent, horribly introverted idiot he was, latched onto the idea and ran with it.

“Yeah,” he said, laughing in a way that he hopes comes off more as fond and less what the fuck did I just get myself into. “Maybe.”

He startled at Phil’s hand, the other man’s fingers curling around his reassuringly. It helped quell the impending anxiety by about five percent. “We don’t want to rush things,” Phil said smoothly.

Mae snorted. “You’ve waited seven years. That’s way longer than Charlie and I did.”

He shrugged. Dan had no idea how he was able to keep his calm so convincingly. “Neither of us would mind getting married someday, but our relationship has never been confined by things like that.” Phil’s gaze drifted back towards Dan, soft and gentle. They might be in danger of overdoing it,now. “Our--our bond has never been that simple. All I know is Dan is the most important person in my life, and I don’t think I could ever sum up all that means in one label.”

His mum cooed, patting Phil’s cheek affectionately while Adrian mimed gagging from across the table. Mae was saying something else, but everything had faded into white noise. Dan found his eyes locking with Phil’s again, and he ducked his head, neck flaming crimson.

Because the thing was, cheesiness aside, Phil sort of had a point.

“I think you might’ve stolen the show for cutest couple,” Mae said.

Charlie feigned hurt, pressing a hand to his heart. “Is it too soon to ask for a divorce?”

“You never made an official announcement, but we always knew,” Donna said serenely, patting Phil’s free hand. “I’m just so glad you finally feel like you can tell us.”

“What she means is you’re about as subtle as a fucking train inside of Buckingham Palace,” Adrian grumbled.

A laugh escaped Dan, Phil’s brow furrowing in bemused amusement from beside him. “Nice analogy,” he said dryly, pushing down any lingering guilt from his mum’s statement. Sometimes he envied Phil’s relationship with Martyn; the two had always seemed close while his and Adrian’s relationship had been more turbulent. It was getting better now that they weren’t forced to live together, but they still had a long way to go.

“How did you two meet?” Charlie asked.

For some reason, explaining that he’d basically stalked Phil until they’d become friends tended to concern people. “Work,” Dan said. Technically it wasn’t a complete lie, but it was a far cry from the whole truth. Before the inevitable question of what he did for work could be asked, he tugged on Phil’s hand and dragged him towards the dance floor. “Sorry,” he said. “They're playing our song, but we’ll be back.” Needless to say, they didn’t have a song, but Phil smiled anyway and followed his lead.

“I didn't know Justin Bieber was our song,” the other man said once they'd reached the center of the floor, stepping closer and resting his free hand on the small of Dan’s back.

“What else would it be?” Dan could sense his family's eyes boring into the back of his head, but he kept his focus trained on Phil. “Just pretend we’re back at the Brits.”

“I’ll try not to step on your toes this time.” Phil led him backwards into an awkward makeshift shuffle, eyes trained on his feet in concentration.

“You did beat me at Dance Evolution. Maybe it’s a sign you're getting over your clumsiness.” As if on cue, Phil’s elbow collided with the couple beside them.

Phil cringed. “Sorry!”

Dan snorted. “If we weren't dancing that'd be worthy of a slow clap. After all, this is you we’re talking about.”

“Alright Mr. ‘Fell Up An Escalator,”

“Thanks for reminding me. Way to reopen the repressed, aching wounds on my heart.”

It's not often Phil makes barbed comebacks, but whenever he does there's a sparkle in his eyes that's otherwise absent. “What heart?”

Dan stepped on the man’s foot a little too hard to pass off as an accident. “If only your subscribers could see you now, they'd know what a black cloud you are.”

“A black cloud?”

“Everyone thinks you're the sun, but we both know the truth.”

“Huh. That's strange, I could've sworn I saw multiple gif sets on Tumblr of you calling me the sun.”

Dan grumbled, slumping against Phil in defeat. “I changed my mind.”

“At least I'm not darker than your soul. That's impossible.” At Dan’s glare Phil widened his eyes slightly, blinking up at him with a bright smile. Despite their (many) years of living together, Dan was still weak to Phil’s puppy dog eyes and the they both knew it.

“I'm breaking up with you,” Dan said, pushing him away in an exaggerated movement as the song drew to a close. “I thought what we had was real, but I guess I was wrong.”

“Not that I don't like being dumped, but do you want to continue this conversation outside?” Phil asked. “It's getting a little hot in here.”

Dan grimaced, pushing his own sweaty fringe further off his forehead. “Good idea.” His hand found Phil’s again, the two weaving their way through the crowd and past the doors outside. He collapsed on one of the benches, Phil sitting beside him. The garden was almost empty, and the few people that were outside were talking in hushed tones.

“It's a lot quieter outside,” Phil said softly. “Mae did a lovely job with the decorations.” Dan made a noise of agreement, the lanterns lining the path casting everything in a rosy glow.

A couple are sitting on the bench across from them, heads bowed together and giggling quietly. It strikes Dan that their position is almost identical to theirs. “It's funny.”

Phil started, head tilting to face his. “Sorry?”

“Mum thought we were a couple all this time, but she never told me. And it's not just her, Dad and Adrian thought the same thing.”

Phil shrugged, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “Martin asked me if we needed to have a ‘special talk’ after meeting you.”

Dan smiled slightly, picking at a loose thread on his tie. The next question bursts out before he can stop it. “Does it bother you that everyone thinks we’re dating?”

“Not really, no. Does it bother you?” The implications behind the question were loaded, and Dan knew they were both thinking of 2012. But things had changed since then, and he'd come a long ways as a person.

“No.” Dan said quietly, stomach twisting into knots as he pressed forwards. Something had been nagging him all night, but he was almost afraid to ask. “But...do you wonder if maybe they have a point?”

“It's not like much would change,” Phil pointed out. “If we started dating.” He ducked his head, almost shy, and Dan wondered if he was just as nervous. “I’d still steal your cereal, leave my contacts on top of the sink, and leave every cupboard open,”

“And I’d still yell at you for forgetting.”

“And I’ll still knock on the wall and tell you to be quiet when you're awake at three in the morning.”

“As long as you still make me a cup of tea when that happens I guess I’ll survive.”

Phil eyes were bright, and something warm began to unfurl. “Only if I can pick the next anime.”

Dan sighed, shaking his head. “You drive a hard bargain, Phil Lester.” He wondered when they'd started talking in ‘wills’ instead of ‘would’ves.’

“So is that a yes?”

“You haven't asked me anything yet,” Dan said, fighting the rising smile.

Phil took a deep breath, eyes meeting Dan’s resolutely. “We could try it, if you want.”

“Dating?” Phil nodded. “Does this mean I can change my Facebook status from ‘it’s complicated’ to ‘in a relationship?’”

Phil rolled his eyes, punching him lightly in the arm. “If you're not careful you'll have to change it back to ‘single.’”

“You love me too much.” As soon as the words left Dan’s mouth he froze. He hadn't meant the ‘l’ word to slip out so soon, (or easily,) but Phil didn't look phased.

“I do.”

Dan smiled, the feeling almost as warm as Phil’s body beside his. “I love you too. So does that make this our one and a half minute anniversary?”

“I think you’re right. Happy one and a half minute anniversary,” Phil said. Dan laughed, resting his head against his boyfriend’s shoulder.

“You too.”

“I still get to pick the next anime,” Phil said seriously. “We made a deal.”

Dan sighed. “I guess I’ll trust your judgement just this once, but you’d better not let me down.”

“Will you dump me if I do?”

He considered this for a moment. “Depends on what anime it is.”

Phil laughed, shaking his head. “You’re the worst.”

They sat in a companionable silence for the next few breaths, music and laughter drifting through the open door outside. Before meeting Phil, Dan had never thought it would be possible to fully relax and feel comfortable sitting in silence with another person. Phil was always proving him wrong, though, and Dan wouldn’t have it any other way.

“How long have you two been together?” The couple across from them had finally separated, and the woman was regarding them curiously.

Dan glanced down at his phone. “Three minutes and fifteen seconds.” He stifled a laugh at the surprised look on her face, turning to look at Phil instead.

“Come on,” Phil said, pulling Dan to his feet. “I’m hungry.”

“You're always hungry.” Dan rolled his eyes good naturedly, though he happily followed his boyfriend back inside. For once the crowds didn't feel suffocating, Phil’s hand warm and grounding in his.

#lie to make me like you #ltmmly #phan #phanfic #phanfiction #fanfiction #phan au #phanfiction au #fandom trumps hate #fth

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tays-role-plays · 7 years

Note

The ship thing. (MGS!Evalynn, Stax and HO!Zude)

MGS!Evalynn

How did they they meet? At School.

Who developed romantic feelings first? They never really talked about their individual feelings with each other, but I’m thinking Sam may have developed some kind of feelings first.

Who is their biggest “shipper?” I don’t think anyone is. With the virus going around, no one really pays attention to other people’s relationships.

When did they have their first kiss and under what circumstances? The first time they had sex, which was outside in a field somewhere, was the first time they kissed.

Who confessed their feelings first? I don’t remember, but I think it was just a mutual understanding between them two.

What was their first official date? They haven’t had a date.

How do they feel about double dates/group dates? I think they feel fine about it. Not something they actively look for, but if someone invites them for a double date, I don’t think they would turn it down.

What do they do in their down time? Sam works, and when he isn’t, him and Chloe just hang out like friends.

What was the first meeting of parents as an official couple like? Sam’s parents embraced Chloe as their own. Sam doesn’t really go around Chloe’s family. Not sure if he actually met them face to face. I don’t think he wants to meet them.

What was their first fight over and how did they get past it? They haven’t had any fights, but if they did, it would be Sam be upset with how Chloe sees herself.

Which one is more easily made jealous? I don’t think any of them are jealous.

What is their favourite thing to get to eat? Probably just some junk food a bit.

Who’s the cuddly one? What their favourite cuddling position? Chloe, and I think when Sam is the big spoon

Are they hand holders? Not really. They aren’t dating, and they don’t really do public displays of affection

How long do they wait before sleeping together for the first time? What’s the circumstances? Probably a few weeks after meeting.

Who tops? Both

What’s the worst first they’ve ever gotten into? I have no idea

Who does the shopping and the cooking? They shop together, and Chloe cooks since when Sam tried, he almost burned down his kitchen.

Which one is more organized and prone to tidiness? Chloe

Who proposes? If they get this far, Sam would probably be the one proposing.

Do they have joined Bachelor/Bacheloette parties or separate? Separate.

Who is the best man/maid of honour? Any other groomsmen or bridesmaids? I think Sam’s siblings would be in the wedding, and maybe a few Chloe’s friends.

Big Ceremony or Small? Small

Do they have a honeymoon? If so, where? Yes, but I’m not sure where. These two are unpredictable.

Do they have children? How many? They don’t have children, but if they wanted to, maybe 1 or 2 would work.

StAx

How did they they meet? Their first interaction happened on Tumblr.

Who developed romantic feelings first? I think Stephen felt something for Max, and Max felt some kind of attraction for Stephen. So the feelings developed around the same time.

Who is their biggest “shipper?” Me.

When did they have their first kiss and under what circumstances? They had their first kiss when they went to dinner. I think Maxen initiated it. When they were talking and felt connected.

Who confessed their feelings first? I think Maxen since he initiated the kiss. That let Stephen know that Maxen did feel something deeper for him.

What was their first official date? I would say the late dinner, but Stephen didn’t even know that was a date until afterwards.

How do they feel about double dates/group dates? Not for them. They rather spend their time together instead of with other couples.

What do they do in their down time? They camp, sail, have sex, work on Maxen’s car. Anything as long as their together

What was the first meeting of parents as an official couple like? Stephen meeting Max’s parents were pretty awkward, but he was glad that he did it.

What was their first fight over and how did they get past it? I don’t remember them having arguments, but I’m sure they did. I just don’t remember what it was about and it never really lasted long.

Which one is more easily made jealous? They aren’t jealous people.

What is their favourite thing to get to eat? They don’t really have preferences.

Who’s the cuddly one? What their favourite cuddling position? Stephen laying on Max’s chest or Max laying on Stephen’s chest.

Are they hand holders? They are.

How long do they wait before sleeping together for the first time? What’s the circumstances? They slept together maybe a few weeks after they became an official couple. There were no circumstances, Maxen just felt like he was ready.

Who tops? They flip.

What’s the worst first they’ve ever gotten into? Maybe the first time Stephen confessed to who he really was. But they bounces back from that.

Who does the shopping and the cooking? They both do.

Which one is more organized and prone to tidiness? They both are organized.

Who proposes? Maxen proposed in the most beautiful way.

Do they have joined Bachelor/Bacheloette parties or separate? They don’t have a bachelor party at all. It’s not them.

Who is the best man/maid of honour? Any other groomsmen or bridesmaids? There were no best man or maid of honor. Rowan and Gavin serves as witnesses

Big Ceremony or Small? Very small civil ceremony.

Do they have a honeymoon? If so, where? They haven’t had a honey moon yet. And if they did it would be somewhere secluded.

Do they have children? How many? They don’t have children, and I don’t see children in their immediate future.

HO!Zude

How did they they meet? Jude is Zero’s sport’s agent.

Who developed romantic feelings first? Probably Jude

Who is their biggest “shipper?” No since they aren’t together and Zero is kind of in the closet.

When did they have their first kiss and under what circumstances? They haven’t had their first kiss.

Who confessed their feelings first? No one.

What was their first official date? They haven’ been on a date, but if they would go on date, it would probably be a nice dinner at Jude’s place prepared by a famous chef.

How do they feel about double dates/group dates? They don’t do them.

What do they do in their down time? Just hang and go to stores or watch movies.

What was the first meeting of parents as an official couple like? Zero has no parents and Jude hasn’t mentioned his.

What was their first fight over and how did they get past it? They haven’t had a fight.

Which one is more easily made jealous? Neither.

What is their favourite thing to get to eat? Maybe Sushi.

Who’s the cuddly one? What their favourite cuddling position? Zero isn’t too cuddly. So maybe Jude.

Are they hand holders? No.

How long do they wait before sleeping together for the first time? What’s the circumstances? They haven’t slept together at all. They are friends.

Who tops? Don’t know.

What’s the worst first they’ve ever gotten into? Don’t know.

Who does the shopping and the cooking? Jude.

Which one is more organized and prone to tidiness? Jude definitely.

Who proposes? Probably Zero. He’s big on grand gestures.

Do they have joined Bachelor/Bacheloette parties or separate? Separate.

Who is the best man/maid of honour? Any other groomsmen or bridesmaids? Zero doesn’t have too many friends, and neither does Jude so they may not have maid of honors and best men.

Big Ceremony or Small? Small.

Do they have a honeymoon? If so, where? Yes, probably somewhere overseas.

Do they have children? How many? I can see them adopting a few kids later on down the line.

@bloody-gorgeous-rps

#otp: mgs!evalynn #otp: stax #otp: hozude #answered meme #bloody-gorgeous-rps #Answered

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