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soleilnewspaper · 10 days

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Ever since Potions class…

Series masterlist

Summary: In the wake of your feelings being revealed, Sirius and Remus are forced to face the aftermath. James grows increasingly frustrated with the two and decides to play matchmaker.

Pairing: poly!wolfstar x fem!reader

Warnings: Angst, mentions of self loathing and one’s inner demons, swearing, use of Y/N.

Word count: 3.6k

AN: Okay so I’m not sure if I entirely love how this turned out but here we go. If you do enjoy this, please do all the tumblr things, reblog, like and ect!! Feedback is always welcomed and appreciated.

In the wake of your impulsive rush out of class left your classmates were left in a state of shock and amusement.

A few snickers from the group of girls situated near left wing right at the back was the Professor’s last straw. It goes without saying. Hormonal teenagers and love potions never pair well together.

“Could we perhaps return to the lesson?” Slughorn’s voice momentarily brought the classroom to a silent halt. “I highly doubt this will be on your potions exam.” He stated making sure to put extra emphasis on this in reference to the gossiping girls.

His voice fell to deaf ears as the class continued to grow louder.

“Bloody hell, do ye not have anythin’ better to do your lives?” A voice shouted from the back of the classroom causing everyone to focus on the blonde Gryffindor girl it had come from.

“Thank you for your effort, Miss McKinnon but I urge you to consider a calmer approach.”

If looks could kill, Slughorn would be done for with the way the girl was death glaring him. Yet, she had still managed to shut them all up.

Slughorn attempted to get back on topic, his patience wearing thin but he prevailed for his love for the subject outweighed it. A hand raise from Lily Evans was quick to send the man back into a warm smile as she answered the questions about the potion.

Not long afterwards the lesson fell back into place. Slughorn droning on and on about Amortentia. His words seamed to blur together for Remus. Despite his multiple attempts to focus his efforts proved unsuccessful.

The werewolf glanced down at his notes and came to the conclusion that none of it would be useful. Much of it was incoherent and jumbled together in a sea of words.

Thankfully he was not the only one struggling to understand what had transpired only moments ago. His honey brown eyes met sliver ones. Those belonging to his beloved boyfriend next to him. Who was receiving a very concerned look from one James Potter and two Peter Pettigrew.

James mouthed something to Sirius but for the life of him he couldn’t understand it. Growing more frustrated by the minute as he tried to speak to his best friend in hushed tones. Neither boy wanting to get detention, for the third time this month.

“Of for-“ The black haired boy was interrupted by the feeling of his boyfriend’s hand on his shoulder. A silent message was conveyed between the two; not here.

The class was excruciating long before the professor finally dismissed them. The walls of the dungeon seemed to feel longer than normal. That unmistakably English autumn breeze making its way through the cracks.

Students blurred together in a sea of red and green. Some rushing to their next class, others looking for a spot to spend their free period.

“Moons..” Sirius’s voice brought Remus back into reality. The elegant sound dripping with concern and undertones of confusion- no that wasn’t it - it was fear.

“Hmm, love?” Remus responded with tired eyes, and a smile which was far from being real. The werewolf wasn’t sure who he was trying to conceive, Sirius or himself.

Remus felt as Sirius hands slipped into his own. Far more gentle than usual. Public displays of affection were often very much not gentle when it came to Sirius Black. The protective nature of his presence was anything but subtle with his affections.

The two boys remained just like that for a few moments. Silent, in a crowded hallway but their eyes only remained on each other.

A chuckle escaped Remus’s lips which left Sirius frowning his brows in confusion. That confusion only intensified when his chuckle turned into a roar of laughter. Very much uncharacteristic of Remus John Lupin.

“Merlin, do you need Madam Prompery?” Sirius said with a mild grin starting to grow.

“Fuck-“ Remus put his free hand on his lover’s chest his expression betraying his serious tone. “Your cologne really is strong.”

“I hate you.”

“As if you could ever.” Remus warmth was spread into his smile. Sirius shaking his head before running a hand through his hair.

James Potter hated how his friends claimed he ‘mothered’ them to much, but in all honesty they needed it. Not so secretly he loved it.

Most recently his patience was wearing dangerously thin. Due to two of his best friends.

It had been over a month since your incident in potions class. The school had long since moved on and it was old news by now.

A fact which James was not fully content with. He had told himself that this was just the process. Remus and Sirius were dealing with it on their own terms. No need to meddle. Simple as that.

However, day by day it becomes more difficult to not meddle. Surely, they should have some reaction by now. Well, a normal reaction.

Their reactions were not what he wanted to classify as normal. First, it started with Remus using sarcasm as a coping mechanism to brush it under the rug. Then Sirius added in the combination of avoidance and lashing out.

James loved his two friends dearly. Truly, he did but they were driving him into insanity. For James Potter had an ego the size of England but a heart of gold.

So when two of his best friends continued to avoid dealing with the fact that you had feelings for them, he was granted a little lean way. Especially, since he knows they both feel the same for you.

Years of feeling unloved has undoubtedly left a mark on Sirius. Where he refuses to disrupt the balance he has created with Remus in fear it’ll all come crashing down.

Remus, on the other hand, was full of self loathing and stubbornness. Meaning he would not be admitting anything either.

Which is exactly what lead James to break his own rule of no meddling.

Sirius had just began to remove his Qudditch gear when James dragged him by the ear. Causing the rest of the team to watch in confusion as the two boys walked out of sight.

Once they reached out of earshot from the rest of the team, James let go of Sirius ear. The black haired boy’s hand instantly went to touch his ear rubbing it. While his best friend stared at him through his glasses.

“Merlin, what the hell Prongs?” Sirius asked in attempt to understand the sudden change in his mood.

“You can’t keep avoiding it.”

“Avoiding what?” Sirius frowned his brows having absolutely no clue what James was on about.

“Pads, you cannot seriously be this blind.” James dumbfounded running his hands over his face.

“Mate you’ve lost me.”

“Oh for the love of Godric.” James removed his hands from his face and took a deep breath before stepping closer towards Sirius. Placing his palms on Sirius’s shoulders.

“You. Have. Feelings. For. Y/N.” James stated drawing out every word individually.

“You. Are. Actually. Mental.” Sirius replied in the same tone James had used on him.

“Pads, I see how you look at her. I’d been be blind not to.” James voice soften as he looked into the eyes of his best friend.

“I cannot stand her.”

“No, that’s just want you’ve been telling yourself to avoid your feelings. You did the same thing with Remus.” James concurred.

“I never hated Remus.” Sirius scoffed at James’s statement.

“You’re right, you never hated Remus but you did push him away when things got to real.”

Sirius and James stared at each other for a few minutes until Sirius broke. It felt like it would last an eternity.

“Fine, I do.” Sirius shrugged Jame’s hands off his shoulders. “It’s driving me fucking crazy, alright?”

“It is all I think about most days. Not matter what I do, how hard I try, I can’t get her out of my goddamn mind. “ His voice begins to raise with every word that leaves his mouth but he didn’t stop there.

“How fucking screwed am I-that- that I can’t stop thinking about some girl when I already have most wonderful guy to ever exist. Huh?”

“You don’t think I see that. You don’t think I carry that I feel like shit every day-“ Sirius breathing became heavier with every moment that passed practically hitching after every syllable.

“Hey, hey, hey, deep breathes Pads.” James steadied Sirius holding him in place with both hands on either side of his arms. Sirius nodded in response allowing himself to calm down.

“Did you forget she smelled Remus too?” James smiled making sure to remain eye contact with Sirius.

“Course not. I’d never forget someone else smelling my boyfriend in Amortentia.”

“Siri, she has feelings for both of you. You have feelings for both of them. Is it making sense yet?”

“But what about Remus?”

“Were you dropped as a child?”

Sirius hand flew to hit his best friend lightly across the head at his comment.

“Oi, don’t hate the messenger.” James smirked before ducking his head before Sirius could land another hit. “Remus wants what you want. The two of you are just to stubborn to see the other feels the same way.”

As almost if a lightbulb went off in his head, everything became clear to Sirius. Without another word, the dark haired boy sprinted towards the library leaving James alone behind the tents.

“Thank you James for opening my eyes.” James threw his arms up into the air while intimating his best friend’s voice.

“Sure no problem.” James made his way back to the Quidditch locker rooms, mumbling incoherently under his breath.

The library was filled with the imperceptibly squeaking recognisable as the souls of Madam Pince’s shoes. The librarian’s breath felt down the hairs on the necks of students who dared touch her precious books. Outside the setting sun could be spotted in the distance. Its rays streaming through the glass windows.

A tall werewolf sat hunched over a wooden table brimming with books of all kinds. Pools of chocolate irises trained on the words displayed on the worn pages. Sandy brown waves framed his scarred face.

A gush of wind blew over the boy drawing him out of his reading. His head rose allowing his eyes to scan the room for what the cause of the wind was. A soft smile creeped up his cheeks when he spotted his beloved.

Nevertheless the smile was fleeting. Not lasting longer than a few trivial seconds before turning into a concerned frown. Sirius ‘s form darted towards Remus rapidly.

Beads of sweat dripped from his skin. A result of running directly after qudditch practice from the pitch to the library. Strands of black hair fell from his ponytail to lay around the ends of his jaw.

“Everything alright, love?” Remus asked gently. Not fully sure or ready for what would be awaiting him once Sirius decided to open his mouth.

Slowly he took a step towards Sirius, followed by a few more until he was inches away from him. Only then did he notice how his sliver eyes were glossy and red. The sight sent a shiver through Remus’s core causing chain reaction to occur.

His hands found their way to the contours of Sirius’s face. “What happened?” The hints of anger from protectiveness in Remus gentle voice told Sirius he truly had no idea what he was about to say.

“We have feelings for Y/N.” The use of we told Remus everything he needed to know. Remus pulled his brows together. Nodding his head to try to comprehend the thought.

“Okay, and we are both sure of this?” Remus conceded.

“What do we do, Rem?” Sirius breathed out, leaning into Remus’s touch. Using him as the pillar which supported him and kept him from falling apart.

“Honestly, er, communication is good, or so I’ve been told.” Remus fingers softly rubbing the sides of Sirius face in circular motions.

“Wait, hold up, when did we come to this conclusion?” Remus dropped his hands but didn’t make any move to leave Sirius’s side.

“Twenty minutes ago.”

“Right, er, well, I’m goin’ to need more than that, love.”

“Let’s just say James was involved.” Sirius explained blankly. Remus chuckled at that, imagining James in full ‘mom’ mode.

“Moons, you do feel the same, right?” Sirius interwoven his fingers with Remus’s letting his eyes fall onto them for a moment. His voice insecure now, betraying himself.

“You’re not the only one. I feel it too.” Remus hung his head low. Staring at his fingers interlocked with his boyfriend’s. “Ever since…”

“Ever since potions class.” Sirius finished his sentence for him.

“Siri, why did you not say anything before?” It was Remus’s turn to be concerned now.

“I thought you would hate me.”

“Sirius, what gave you that fucking idea?” Remus started to ready his speech he’d given his boyfriend countless times before, but then stopped, deciding this situation called for a different approach.

“You already forgave me for…well..everything..I couldn’t tell you I had feelings for someone else..” Sirius attempted to avoid Remus’s glaze, but of course he wasn’t having it. Remus used his index finger to lift Sirius’s chin to ensure he was looking at him.

“I thought I was betraying you in some way. By having feelings for someone who wasn’t you.” Remus confessed what had been lying heavily on his mind for a long time now.

“I didn’t even fully accept that I had feelings, until James forced it out of me.” Sirius let out a deep breath.

Remus closed the distance between them, wrapping his arms around Sirius who in return wrapped his own around Remus’s lanky waist.

The darkness of Sirius family name haunted him in more ways than one. Vulnerability was not something he was taught. Therefore, Remus needed to tread carefully. For he knew the consequences Sirius’s darkness could cause. Remus understood that Sirius almost never dealt well with such situations.

Remus had his own demons, which differed from the ones Sirius battled. Self loafing was Remus’s chosen method of poison. Purely created by the treatment he had seen his kind receive. The same treatment which his parents, friends and lover had sworn to protect him from.

In spite of the fact that their darkness were far from the same. The two wizards had learned to navigate through each other’s absence’s of lights.

Yet in the wake of their newfound discovery they were facing uncharted territory. Your pure existence had thrown disrupted the balance between the two of them. Yet, neither one seamed to feel any resentment towards you for it. Instead the thought of your presence only brought warmth and comfort to them both. They had known you for years, not candidly. Rather in the form of sharing classes with you or passing you in the hallway. Additionally, there was the fact that you seamed quite close with Sirius’s younger brother. That they knew to be a fact.

They did know you, they had been picking up on things about you for months. Perhaps for Sirius he had been doing so since the moment his brother invited you to their home all those summers ago.

Neither one ever thought anything would come from it, which is why they denied any interest in you. Not that anyone had ever thought there was to begin with.

With heads hung low and fingers intertwined, Sirius and Remus entered their shared dorm.

James was in the midst of writing an essay for charms class. His reasoning for leaving said essay to the last minute was the pressure would advance his argument. Pranking first years with Sirius three days ago had nothing to do with it.

The sound of water coming from the faucet indicated that Peter had taken the chance to shower.

Sirius padded over to his empty bed and let himself fall back onto the red blanket. Laying flat on his back with his feet dangling off.

Remus began to untie his tie feeling a relief when he was able to undo his top button. Exchanging his robes for a sweater and comfortable loose fitting pants which hung low on his hips.

James peered through his glasses to see for any indication that his efforts had been successful.

“I take it you two talked?” James temporarily turned his attention away from his essay. He would pull an all nighter if it meant his friends were happy.

A nod from Remus and a grunt from Sirius were the only responses he received.

“We’re still deciding what our next steps are.” Remus sighed leaning against one of the pillars of his bed.

“Our lives are fucking screwed.” Sirius mumbled into his pillow.

“Okay, that’s a tad dramatic.” Remus moved to sit by the foot of Sirius bed. Moving his legs to lay them on his lap.

“Here’s a thought.” James began, making sure both boys were listening before continuing. “Talk to her.”

“Got any other ideas?” Sirius raised his head from the pillow to side glance James earning himself a disapproving head shake.

James lounged forward on the sheets of his bed to grab the nearest pillow which was sent flying to Sirius’s head.

“Oh Godric, OH GODRIC.” James sudden outburst caused Remus to raise an eyebrow.

“Must I do everything for you, then?” James stood up from his bed planting himself in the centre of the room with hands on his hips.

It had never been your intention to come between a couple. Nor did you ever hope to be the cause of any issues in a relationship.

You had actively planned to get over your feelings for Sirius and Remus. Yet, they only grew more than you could have ever imagined.

In order to try move on you avoided Remus at every available opportunity. While you annoyed Sirius beyond expectation making him hate you. Which in turn made you somehow convince yourself you hated him.

Neither fact was true. You did not hate Sirius nor did he hate you. Both of you were just trying to ignore what you felt for each other.

Even so, your avoidance of Remus never proved successful. Your heart longed for him as much as it did for his boyfriend.

Thankfully, you had thought no one had noticed your growing infatuation with them. Then, potions class happened. Now everyone knew.

Avoidance had proved again to be your saving grace. You honestly do not know how you would have survived the week without it. Skipping classes might have been detrimental to your overall grade but it was a cost you were willing to take. For the time being, anyway.

The only problem was when you avoided them your friends grew increasingly suspicious of your intentions. Particularly Regulus, who had heard in passing about your ‘incident’.

You missed being able to stare at them in hallways when no one was looking. Or watch the way they laughed with their friends in the great hall.

Unknowingly to you, the boys had been trying to track you down all day. They could not go to your dorm because you resided in a different house to them. House members would undoubtedly become suspicious if word spread of the two attempting to find a way into your dormitory this morning.

Remus made the suggestion to entrust the guidance of your friends. Sirius opposed the idea as one of your friends including Regulus.

Luckily, fate had other plans for the three of you.

After a long day full of classes you could hardly wait to return to the tranquility only your dorm could offer.

The moment your eyes met the sliver and brown hues of your favourite boys. You gave up on tranquility entirely.

Every instinct streamed at you to run away. If it hadn’t been for Sirius, you would have listened to them.

“Y/N!” Sirius called out to you, as if you could ignore him now.

“Hello Sirius.” You offered some general decently, it was the least you could do, you thought. “And hi to you Remus.”

“Could we please talk?” Remus’s voice was timid, more so than you had ever heard before.

“Listen, I truly am sorry for what happened. Please know that I don’t expect anything from either one of you-“

“Stop, Y/N, could you let us speak please?” Remus’s voice warmed your ears more than you liked. That voice could fix anything you thought. You offered a small nod in response to his ask.

“Rem and I, we’ve-well…you see..fuck. God, why is this so hard, okay. I-we wanted you to know that..have feelings for you!” Sirius barely managed to get out his sentence before he blurted it out point blank.

“Excuse me?” Your eyes widened in complete and utter shock. This was not at all what you were expecting.

“Both of us. When you smelled us in the Amortentia, it got us thinking-and-well we realised that we both share feelings for you.” Remus explained more gently than Sirius, emphasising his syllables.

“What does this mean?” You chocked out.

Sirius and Remus exchanged looks sharing a message between themselves which left you feeling more despondent.

“We did some research, well, Remus did and I consulted James and Lily.” Sirius stated, choosing to use the word consulted instead of admit that Lily and James had been piecing it together for him for the last few days.

Remus waited for you to give any indication that you still felt comfortable before he continued for Sirius. A simple head nod from you gave him the reassurance he needed.

“Are you aware of the term polyamory?” Remus asked you gently, bringing his hands together before himself.

“I’ve heard of it, yes.” Your voice took on a different tone as you continued to feel confused by the boy’s actions.

“Well, we want to try it, with you, I mean.” Sirius breathed out.

“What he means is, if you’re open to it of course. We were wondering how you would feel being a third in our relationship.” Remus stepped towards you, leaving little to no distance between him and you.

Remus’ honey brown eyes shimmed with affection. Though you weren’t quite sure who it was meant for.

Sirius’ head cocked to the side ever so slightly resembling that of a lost puppy. Dark hair falling in disarray. Whilst Remus kept his focus on you. Resisting the urge to take your fingers into his own.

They both desperately awaited your response.

Taglist: @maraudersforlife2005, @h3arts4strs

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gyunglitter · 8 months

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➷ 02 ➷

-“oh, the way he makes me feel that love isn’t real -– cupid is so dumb”

unlike you, your brother’s best friend just doesn’t know when to quit

word count: 3,626

warnings: probably one or two curse words, longing from beomgyu ehe, not much tbh

tags: brother’s-best-friend!beomgyu x reader, ??? to ???, angst, fluff(??), beomgyu is the cool boy-next-door, reader is an independent girlboss (or trying to be, at least), beomgyu’s gonna be GROVELING, simp!gyu, pathetic pining from both sides lol, maybe some cringe from reader (she was a teenage girl in love, have some empathy plz😭)

notes: yall, i ACTUALLY edited this chapter. if it sucks, no it doesn't😘

i would actually love it if some of y'all that are enjoying the story to leave me some feedback? some of you guys reblogging leave the funniest things and i super appreciate it! hope you guys like it!!

–> masterlist <–

It had been a long dinner with an even longer catching up at the dinner table afterwards. Your brother was very curious about how the culture was where you went, while your parents were eager to hear about the education. Beomgyu, ironically, had been quiet for the rest of the night. He seemed to kind of fade into the background while you and your family were catching up, which you definitely weren’t complaining about. But that didn’t stop the nonstop questions about your personal life, to which you masterfully avoided by distracting everyone with funny stories from yours and Soobin’s childhood. There were a lot of laughs, shouting, and tears by the end when everyone decided to call it quits.

“I can do the dishes, eomma,” you suggested.

“Thanks, bean,” your mom sighed, leaning back in her chair.

You got up from your seat and started picking up a couple of stray plates around the table. Your brother took it upon himself to grab the remaining dishes you missed and stacked them on top of each other for you.

You silently thanked your brother as you went to grab the pile, but you were interrupted by Beomgyu swiping them just a bit faster.

He looked at you and said, “I’ll help, too.”

You opened your mouth to deny him, but your mother beat you to it.

“That’s so sweet of you, Beomgyu!”

You bit the inside of your cheek to hide your slight annoyance, and merely turned on your heel and went towards the kitchen to the sink. You’d caught the way Beomgyu’s lips quirked up at your expense, which only irked you more.

“Oh, goodie,” you groan.

Beomgyu laughed, that familiar tinkling sound echoing through your mother’s large kitchen. “Wow, no, ‘thank you, oppa, you’re so kind!’ or ‘you’re so progressive, oppa, I’m so grateful!’ or –”

“Shut up or I’ll drown you,” you interrupted, filling the sink with water and soap.

Beomgyu tried not to laugh in your face as he rolled his eyes and started rolling up his sleeves. You couldn’t help your eyes from wandering to his newly exposed forearms, unconsciously admiring the veins running down his arms to his hands. Oh god, his hands.

“Oh no! Not a little bit of water! What ever will I do–?!”

Beomgyu shut up the moment you shot a stream of water in his face with the sink’s spray head. He gasped when the water splashed down his face and onto his dress shirt. It was silent in the kitchen as he gaped at you, while you stared back with a blank stare.

“Told ya.”

Eight Years Ago

“Why can’t I go?!”

“Why the hell would I bring a middle schooler to hang out with my friends?”

“Who cares how old I am? I’m as tall as your friends, anyway!”

You and Soobin had been arguing ever since Beomgyu dropped by to pick up Soobin for their high school team’s senior night football game. It was supposed to be your brother’s school rivals playing, so you knew it was going to be an awesome night, regardless if your team won or not. But you knew your brother’s team would, since they still had star players Jeon Jungkook and Jung Hoseok before they were going off to college. It was their last game and you wanted to see it!

Right when you saw Beomgyu, you immediately begged him to let you come with, but your brother rejected it profusely. He wasn’t super close with the guys he was going to hang out with tonight (Hyunjin and Jeongin) since they knew Beomgyu more, and he refused to give them another reason to think he was a loser. Especially by bringing his little sister to a highschool game that would definitely turn into a celebratory afterparty.

“Why can’t little Y/n come tonight, Soob?” Beomgyu laughed, twirling his new car keys on his index. Beomgyu had just passed his driver’s test and his parents already got him a new car, which he was driving to the game for the first time tonight.

And if this may or may not be the biggest reason you wanted to go tonight, then who cares?

“See! Even oppa wants me to come,” you whined.

“Y/n, no. You’re not coming,” Soobin declared, putting his hands on his hips. “I’m not babysitting you tonight, or leaving the party early just because it’s your bedtime!”

“Dude, you’re the most introverted person I know!” Beomgyu shoved his hands into his pockets and scoffed, “I bet thirty bucks when we’re an hour into the party that you’ll be wishing you had a good excuse to leave.”

Soobin rolled his eyes but stayed firm. “She’s not coming, I mean it. Even if she were older, I’m not letting anybody near her where they can defile her, or something.”

You could feel yourself practically screaming with how mad you were. Turning toward the stairs and looking up, you called for your best back up plan.

“EOMMA!” you screamed.

“WHAT?!”

“OPPA WON’T LET ME GO TO THE GAME WITH HIM AND BEOMGYU!”

You ignored Soobin’s scoff and his complaints about you behind your back as you yelled for your mother’s help. However, his anger stopped at her response.

“IF HE DOESN’T WANT YOU TO GO, THEN YOU CAN’T GO!”

Your jaw dropped as Soobin cheered, yelling his gratitude to your mother.

“But, eomma!” you cried.

“You can’t make him, Y/n! If he doesn’t want to, then he doesn’t have to. You can do something else tonight, I’ll even hang out with you, if you want! We haven’t played Candyland in forever,” your mom reasoned, making your face drop and cheeks heat up in embarrassment.

You grit your teeth and turned back to the two boys who were throwing on their jackets and heading out the door.

“Whatever! I hope we lose and you guys get pantsed at the party,” you growled, folding your arms.

“Yeah, yeah. Have fun playing Candyland with eomma before your bubble bath!” Soobin cackled as he finished putting on his shoes and left.

Beomgyu, however, had his free hand on the door frame and stood in place for a second. Then, he turned toward you with an apologetic smile.

“Sorry, Y/n, maybe next time,” he said.

You pouted. “Yeah right I never get to hang out with you guys anymore, you ditched me after starting high school. Just go have fun with your cool new friends and drive in your cool new car, or whatever.”

“You really wanna ride in my car, don’t ya,” Beomgyu teased, but you were not amused. You only kept glaring at him, which made him sigh and stop playing with his keys to run his hand through his hair.

He’d recently started growing it out a bit, and you could tell he wasn’t quite used to it yet. Every time he got hair in his eyes or blew a strand out of the way, it made you want to run your hands through it for him. But for now, you settled with watching him ruffle it out of his face with his own hands instead.

“How about this,” he proposed, turning his body towards you fully. “Tonight, you have an awesome time with your mom before beating the crap out of her in Candyland, and I’ll take you for a ride in my car some other time?”

Your eyes widened at that.

“Seriously?” you asked, lips parted and ears heating up.

“Seriously,” Beomgyu grinned. “But only if you win!”

It took you a second, but you smiled widely at the boy in front of you and nodded vigorously. “Yes! Okay! Awesome, thanks oppa!”

He let out a laugh and went back to twirling his keys, nodding at you before walking out the door and closing it behind him.

You ran over to the window next to your front door and watched as Beomgyu approached his car, unlocking the doors while Soobin whined at him.

“Dude, what took you so long?” he complained.

Beomgyu merely shook his head with a smile on his face.

“Nothing, let’s go.”

They drove off, leaving you with the reddest cheeks and a strong determination. After looking all over for that damned game, you stormed upstairs to your parents room and demanded to start playing. Your mother was thoroughly shocked since–apparently– she was just joking. It didn’t matter to you, though. You sat your parents down and initiated the most intense game of board games that family recreational activities had ever seen.

To say you annihilated your mom and dad at Candyland was an understatement, to which you sent a celebratory selfie to Beomgyu as proof for him to hold up his end of the deal.

You’d finally finished drying off all the dishes with Beomgyu and wanted nothing more than to get away from him. After multiple attempts to start a conversation with you, to splashing you with water, then to purposefully getting the dishes you just cleaned dirty again, you’d had enough.

“Ya know, I don’t usually like doing the dishes all that much,” Beomgyu started, “so I think it’s safe to say that I couldn’t have done it without you!”

He had that same teasing tone to him, the one that always made you laugh and smile at him without a care in the world of whether his joke had gone too far or not. Anything Beomgyu did used to make you happy. But now, it seemed like his voice could only annoy you.

“Yeah? Probably because I did it all,” you deadpanned.

He laughed. “I will admit that you carried me a lot, but I think I did a good job at handing you the plates and encouraging you. I’m no dishwasher, but I’m a mean moral support-er.”

You sighed heavily as he grinned at you, trying to ignore him as you started to walk away from him.

Your parents were already upstairs while Soobin was on the phone with who you could easily guess was Yeonjun as he was insulting the person on the other side, but with the widest smile on his face. There were only three people in the world who he could easily do that to, and two of them were standing in this home.

Rolling your eyes fondly at your brother as he waved at you in passing, you went outside onto your front patio instead. It was warm enough to not need a jacket out, so you enjoyed the light breeze blowing by you as you sat down on the front steps. The sky was clear, making the stars much more prominent than you’d seen in a long time.

It was peaceful like this. You missed it.

But of course, peace couldn’t last forever when Choi Beomgyu was near.

“I’m sorry.”

His tone, unlike before, was a soft whisper. A sound so quiet that it would have gotten lost in the wind if your ears weren’t so trained to listen for his voice. Even after years of not hearing it.

You closed your eyes for a moment before scoffing.

“What are you sorry for?”

Beomgyu sighed from behind you. “You know why.”

You only shook your head, but he wasn’t taking that.

“What happened between you and me…” he swallowed, struggling to get his next words out, “before you left…was so shitty of me. You didn’t deserve that.”

You bit your lip to stop the sigh that wanted to leave you. You’d already done that a lot tonight. “Beomgyu, please.”

“No!”

Beomgyu sat down beside you, his arm lightly grazing yours as he settled down.

“I was such a douchebag to you, Y/n. A-and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it!” he cried, running a hand through his hair frustratedly. “I know you must hate me after everything, I know I would–hell, I do!”

You shook your head again. It was literally your first night back. You never wanted to have this conversation, let alone so soon.

“I don’t want to talk about this.”

You went to get up, but Beomgyu softly grabbed your arm. The action was so sudden, it surprised you enough to look down at him and notice his sleeve was still rolled up. His rough arm led to the calloused hand that held your wrist, before it slowly slid to your hand.

“Please stay, Y/n. I’ve waited four years just to talk to you again. To see you again,” he pleaded. “You don’t want to hear me apologize? Okay, fine. But just…don’t leave me without you again.”

You stared down at him, finding it miraculous to see his eyes wide with emotion you couldn’t define, but being drawn in by how much they yearned. For you.

You sat back down on the step next to him and slipped your hand out of his. There was only so much you could handle.

It was silent for a while, with you not looking at him at all as you tried to calm your mind and erase the look in his eyes before you got stuck in the rabbit hole you’d spent years trying to climb out of.

“Well,” he cleared his throat to fill the silence between the both of you. “Besides the problematic factor of myself, how does it feel to be home?”

You felt a scoff leave your lips at his question and your predicament. You couldn’t believe this was happening.

“Weird question?” he asked, making you shake your head in slight disbelief and slight amusement.

“Everything about this is weird, Beomgyu,” you murmured.

He sighed in agreement, and probably nodded, but you wouldn’t know because you still refused to look at him.

“Yeah, I know…” he mumbled, letting the silence take over you both once again.

With the absence of conversation and his words being the last thing you heard, his dejected tone was something you pondered on. You know, there was a long period of time after you left that you’d only wanted to hear that kind of tone from him: sounding just as miserable and broken as he’d left you.

But actually hearing it from him, you realized you didn’t enjoy it all that much.

“I haven’t been able to see the stars like this in forever,” you whispered, choosing to focus on the sky. “If there was one thing I really missed from home, it was the sky.”

“Really?”

You nodded reluctantly, following the different constellations with your eyes. “I lived in the city for school. But even if we didn’t have the light pollution, it’s not like I ever had the time to look up and see them, anyway.”

“That sucks.”

“Yeah.”

It was quiet for a moment, before Beomgyu spoke again.

“Did you have any stars out there?”

You sighed a little when you thought for a second on what he said. And then on what he really said.

“Not like this.”

He hummed in response, and left it at that, finally letting you just sit there for a long while in perfect silence.

From what you could remember of all the years of knowing Beomgyu, he was a loud person. Around family, friends, people he liked–he was like a ball of light bursting through every gloomy seam. Group settings were his specialty, whether he was the “coolest” guy in the room or not, he didn’t care; he would talk your ear off or tell a randomly hilarious story that either left you as the best of friends, or extremely weirded out. It didn’t matter to him, because when he was happy, everyone would know by how loud he was.

That’s why it would shock you, no matter how many times he did it, that he would get so mellow when it was just the two of you. You always adored the Beomgyu that could easily capture a room with just his laugh. But after learning about his other side, you would yearn even more for the Beomgyu that you felt like only you ever got to see. The him that came out when he was truly content and wasn’t “performing” for anyone.

You loved his loudness, but you also loved your quiet moments with him. They told you more about him than any other moments you had together. And after this particular moment with him, you realized this was probably the most you could let yourself handle for now.

“I really should head back in,” you muttered after what felt like an eternity.

Beomgyu sighed, not taking his eyes off of the sky above him. “I know.”

“You should go home.”

“I know.”

You slowly got up from your seat, patting off your legs, and started to move back inside. You’d made it to your door before you turned around and noticed Beomgyu hadn’t moved an inch, nor taken his eyes off of the stars. He had a frown marring his features, casting a deep line on his forehead that hadn’t been there four years ago. You could tell he wasn’t going to be moving for a while, which concerned you.

You bit your lip and rubbed one of your ears that you could already feel was starting to heat up.

“I don’t hate you,” you mumbled.

Beomgyu’s head snapped towards you, his eyes wide and his lips parted. “What?”

“I don’t hate you,” you repeated. “I never could, Beomgyu…even when I wanted to.”

He let out a deep breath and looked at you so softly, you used all of your energy and dignity to maintain eye contact.

“Goodnight, Beomgyu…”

You left after that, going back inside.

And despite arguing with yourself for years, you thought for a second that maybe you haven't changed that much, since you took a moment to peek outside the window beside the door to see Beomgyu slowly getting off your porch. He took his time, most likely lost in thought, as he eventually looked down from the stars to instead look back at your house. You quickly backed away from the window, glad he wouldn’t have been able to see you since it was so dark outside, but even more glad to see the line on his forehead gone as his lips parted once again with a small smile on his face.

“So, how was the game?” you asked over a bowl of cereal, looking up at Soobin.

The poor guy had dark bags under his reddened eyes, messy bed hair, and his face was puffier than usual. You’d been way past asleep by the time he had gotten home, but were eager to talk to him about his night when you woke up. Beomgyu had texted you not too long after you’d been up and about, but you figured you would “leave him waiting” to not come off as so desperate to talk to him. Instead, you went downstairs to eat some breakfast and weasel information out of your brother. Unfortunately for you, Soobin was out of commission for the next few hours. Even now, he was still not fully ready for a conversation.

“It was fun,” he yawned.

He rested his head on the table, while you tried not to laugh at him. You usually liked teasing Soobin, but he was too vulnerable at the moment, and you had a curiosity that could only be quenched by his answers.

“Define, ‘fun’. Did we win? Was the party crazy? Did you talk to that one girl you like? Did they play Bebe Rexha?”

He moaned. “Yes, yes, no, and of course they played Bebe Rexha! It’s not a party if she’s not there!”

You giggled at that, nodding in approval as you scooped another serving of your cereal. “That sounds so cool, I’m glad you had fun! Did you dance with anyone? What was the most memorable moment, oppa?”

“So many questions,” he groaned. “Why do you care so much?”

You lightly kicked his shin under the table. “You ditched me last night! This is literally the least you could do for me, oppa.”

The both of you squinted at the other, before Soobin gave in.

He thought for a moment, before he snorted and let out an ‘ah’. “I didn’t talk to any girls last night, so nothing crazy happened for me. But Beomgyu actually hooked up with one of the hottest girls in our grade and the whole grade is freaking out about it; Hyunjin and Jeongin have been blowing up my phone all morning.”

Your spoon tumbled from your fingers as you felt your stomach drop.

“Ah, Jesus, Y/n!” Soobin groaned, his head hurting from the sudden noise of your spoon clinking against your bowl, worsening his horribly hidden hangover.

“Oh, s-sorry oppa…” you mumbled, picking up your cereal.

“Hey, where are you going?” asked Soobin, lifting his head a little.

You gently placed your bowl in the sink and stuttered, “Uh, I, um–I gotta go finish my homework. I’ll s-see you later!”

And with that, you ran upstairs to text Beomgyu back.

from: beomgyuuu!! <3

did you wanna go for a ride today? this new corndog place just opened up and i was hoping you and i could go try it!

to: beomgyu

hey, i actually can’t today. gotta help my mom with something

from: beomgyu

ah bummer :(((

next time?

to: beomgyu

yeah, fs

from: beomgyu

great! I still owe you, so don’t let me forget it <3

You stared at the heart at the end of his message, feeling like it was mocking you. You should’ve known that promise didn’t mean what you thought, but you couldn’t help yourself.

Just like how you couldn’t help yourself for the next five years after that. This had only been the first of many times he would break your heart.

–> next <–

#txt #tomorrow x tomorrow #beomgyu #choi beomgyu #beomgyu x reader #choi beomgyu x reader #beomgyu imagines #beomgyu fluff #beomgyu angst #choi soobin #stupid cupid

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animeyanderelover · 2 months

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Anon: Could I please request yandere headcannons for: gokudera, yamamoto, spanner, dr shamal, basil, ryohei, dino, hibari, haru and squalo from khr?

Yandere Katekyo Hitman Reborn Hc's

Miura Haru

👘There is no chance in heaven nor hell that people won't know about Haru's feelings for you because she is anything but discreet about how much she loves you. She is openly declaring how much her heart is pounding whenever she sees you and she often awakes the impression that she is retelling a love poem whenever you are around as she confesses every sappy thought she has in her mind. Haru is very obsessive because she is very firm in her decision that she will be your future wife so she is already busily memorizing everything she can about you. This may already be a tad bit disturbing as it is although it could still be trivialised as her just being very attentive when it comes to you. The attentiveness probably stops when you realise that she has even memorized where you walk as soon as you leave the house and at which times you are most likely to go out to buy some groceries.

👘The innocent-looking cinnamon roll takes it with her observations maybe just a tad bit too far as she essentially stalks you and lies in wait for you to turn up. She would like to see her behavior as dedication to the person she loves most in the world. Can you not understand her desire to spend time with you? You wouldn't think about sending her away after she has waited for you here all this time, right? Haru is extremely single-minded in her pursuit and this makes her very delusional and dismissive if you should ever try to explain to her that she couldn't be more wrong with her assumptions. Instead you will only hurt her feelings. Whilst she would never be truly angry with you, when you see the tears bubbling up in her eyes you can't help feeling like you are the bad guy. Since Haru won't even hold her emotions back when in public, everything is made even more complicated because the last thing you want is making her cry whilst others are watching.

👘Haru gets quite easily jealous but it is at the same time also quite easy to de-escalate her emotions if you explain to her who the person is or if you simply involve her in the discussion. Her social attitude will solve the rest and by the end of the conversation she has probably made a new friend. That is if you actually notice that she is watching because otherwise things can take a more interesting turn. Haru has a very lively imagination to the point where she feels like she is witnessing a scandal in the making whenever you converse with someone she does not know and don't introduce that person to her afterwards. For whatever reason instead of simply asking you about it, she comes up with the most complex solution of stalking you and the other person in one of her questionable outfits she chose to blend in mission failed as she follows you two around. Safe to say, you have spotted her every single time and managed to untangle the misunderstanding which quickly lifts her mood.

👘Whilst Haru could always take the easy route of asking Tsuna for help who just happens to be the head of the mafia, she likes to take matters into her own hands. As kind and caring as she is, she can be very assertive if she wants to be and can whop someone's ass verbally if they should have wronged you. Her persistence and stubbornness are her finest weapons and she can very likely wear someone down by remaining so single-minded as she can use her stalking tendencies to find out where someone lives if she is upset enough with them. In situations where more caution would be adviced you better stop her because she doesn't seem to work with a rational mindset at times when she tries to solve even such problems for you by dressing up as a samurai or another fitting costume in her arsenal to defend you. Asking her friends for help is a last resort, especially since they are real mafioso.

👘She has already envisioned it all. From the house you two will buy to the colour you paint the walls with the every single furniture you're going to have in your shared home. She has even started practicing to cook your favorite meals to be able to make you really happy as soon as the both of you live together. Don't even try to shatter her dreams unless you want to summon her tears. It isn't like Haru would actually ever kidnap you because she does not have the heart to do so. She would never hurt your feelings like that. At the same time she is so painfully optimistic and delusional about the matter. She is saving up money already to buy the house of her dreams and she is even telling all the people around her very excitedly about her visions. You just have a hard time ruining her her dreams because whilst she would probably accept your decision, she would never recover from her crushed dreams and hopes.

👘Haru is very clingy and since she is always waiting for you to turn up to have the chance to spend as much time with you as she possibly can, it is quite hard to shake her off. She already has a "Haru Appreciation Day" and you get an appreciation day once a month too. It is a day where she is going to be even more affectionate and will spoil you even more than she normally does already and it is very likely that she will very soon make one to celebrate the fact that you two are a couple as well. She has a fascination with cosplaying and costumes already so she will 100% want you two to wear matching outfits or cosplay as fictional couples. She's even sewing you shirts with embroidery stating that you are her lover and she gets sad if you don't wear what she has sewn you. She doesn't understand your uncomfortableness with wearing something that has such cheesy words written on it.

Gokudera Hayato

🧨Above all else, Gokudera will be the most loyal simp you have ever seen in your entire life. He is infatuated with you to the point where he can even justify some stuff that normally should demand an apology from you as he likes to think that you are a good person through and through and that it's the fault of the people around you for triggering you. Whilst he can be a tad bit delusional with this particular way of thinking, he won't let everything you do just slide like this because even he can recognize if you were clearly in the wrong in a certain situation but even then he will probably go easy on you. Hayato, even if he likes to let you off the hook easy with his mindset, is up to a certain point still more aware of his obsession that is rapidly evolving and funnily enough he is a tad bit embarrassed about it initially. That is only a short phase though before he throws all worries out of the window and just dedicates himself to you.

🧨His dedication can go indeed quite far as he does some good research on you because even if he has quite a bit of a temper, Gokudera is also awfully smart and methodical. That naturally includes that he literally notes down the habits and preferences he is able to figure out by observing you and he will even go as far as casually stalking you, although he is smart enough to not let himself get caught. There is a possessive streak he has and he likes to express that often because of his hot-tempered nature. He has sworn loyalty and dedication to you after all even if you never asked for it and due to this oath he has made he tends to be more arrogant as well as very protective. After all none of the other people you waste your time with would know as much about you as he does not would they be willing to go as far for you as he would. If you don't see that yet, he will gladly prove himself to you.

🧨His explosive temper is going to be quite difficult to handle as he is almost always irritable and hostile to the people around you. It is because he has promised himself that he would be the one to love and protect you best that he gets even more frustrated and angry whenever someone else thinks they're the shit and can do what he can obviously do better. If his patience snaps he will beat someone up and that without much consideration or regret. Hayato is still lucid enough to realise that you probably wouldn't appreciate him beating someone up in front of you so he tries to not get physically violent if you are around, although he certainly can't hold back all of his jealousy as he instead vents out his frustration through his words. He can always beat them up later when you aren't around. Everyone who tries to charm you and protect you is his rival but he will most certainly fight for his spot for you to want him as your lover and protector.

🧨I believe the most evident sign of his sheer dedication and willingness to really uphold his oath of protecting you from all harm is shown in the almost jarring difference in his attitude when he is presented with no other choice but murdering someone. His jealous and violent behavior, as immature and harming it can be, is still a mere child's play. Even Gokudera knows about the weight of killing someone and that hasn't changed even if he is the Storm Guardian of the current mafia generation. Taking someone's life is a serious matter and for that reason he will take it just as serious as well. Instead of impulsively storming to his victim and killing them, he is far more methodical and meticulous with his plans. Depending on whom it is he sees the need to murder he either only uses his dynamite to set a trap or uses his Box Weapon. If he is going to murder someone in cold blood, he will do it properly and not play around.

🧨He will most likely show enough understanding that an abduction might be a bit more extreme but at the same time he is a part of the Vongola Family. He knows very well that the life he has chosen is not safe and that is why he tends to be very overprotective and in urgent situations even controlling as he then wants you to listen to every instruction he gives you. There is this bad reputation clinging to the mafia so Hayato greatly hesitates to even inform you about his occupation. A scenario where you get kidnapped by him is usually one where he finds himself in a desperate situation that could either include the danger of your own life or the danger of the relationship. Whilst it will be more of a spontanous decision, Gokudera still somehow manages to squeeze in a plan as he has to act swiftly, especially if your life is indeed in danger due to another gang targeting you. He knows that it'll be confusing and frightening but he is begging you for a chance to listen to him at least.

🧨Despite the bad boy image that Hayato is often cultivating, he gets surprisingly easily flustered whenever you pay any attention to him. He always becomes hyper-aware of every twitch of his lips and tries his best to not embarrass himself. Instead he's always trying to use the chance to look cool and impress you so if someone else steals your attention away whilst he is in the middle of attempting to amaze you, his jealousy quickly returns. You will be the sweetest thing to him with every small affection that you give him because he will always turn a bit red in his face. His tough appearance melts when he is around you and specifically if he is alone with you because then he can truly dedicate all of his attention and focus to you instead of getting triggered by the people around you. As soft as he can be with you though, Hayato is very serious and will enforce decisions on you if he should ever suspect your life to be at risk.

Yamamoto Takeshi

💧Yamamoto is terribly oblivious as he will probably remain forever ignorant of his obsessive feelings. This is after all the same boy who has been treating the whole mafia affair as some sort of role play and even as he grows older and matures more, you can not hope him to ever consider his love as something that could potentially be a tad bit dangerous. At least you are lucky enough though that Yamamoto is such an easy-going and relaxed guy who isn't very possessive nor is he really controlling. What he will be though is protective and I can definitely see this as a trait that will amplify as the years go by and he gains more knowledge and especially more battle experience as the Rain Guardian of Tsuna. After all he can be as relaxed in battle and with his overall life only as long as no one he cares about greatly is brought in danger because of it. He learns that it isn't all fun and games to him the moment you are in danger.

💧Even if you were to somehow know of his obsession with you, you will have a very hard time convincing others of it and chances are that even you will have troubles believing it. It is Takeshi's very personality that makes it so hard to accept and believe it. He is kind and warm-hearted and he has a very special ability to get on friendly terms with most people he engages with. This will mean that you will be in troubles if you would try to avoid him because not only is he going to charm most of your acquaintances and friends anyways but they will most likely pick his side and would think that you are in the wrong. If Yamamoto wouldn't be such a good and kind individual, he would be a frighteningly good manipulator so just be thankful that he is always so painfully sincere with every gesture and word of his. That doesn't mean that you will be able to avoid him if you choose to do so though as even your own friends might try to help Takeshi.

💧Differently from Hayato, Yamamoto will showcase a great amount of patience and respect with most people you engage with. His own willingness to befriend the people you hang around with regularly only aids in this as this means that he is already familiar with most people around you anyways. Even if he were to feel jealous it is not like he is going to make a big drama about it but is going to handle the situation maturely. If he doesn't know someone yet and he gets uncomfortable with the way they behave around you, he will tell you so whilst also asking who that was. He's just informing you whenever someone has made him slightly uncomfortable with the way they are behaving around you and he will tell the other person about it just as much. It is all fine though but only as long as he can expect the same level of respect and maturity from the other person. If they instead choose to act immature, Yamamoto will make sure to keep them away from you.

💧Usually known as a peacekeeper, Takeshi is fully capable of acting accordingly if a situation should turn dire and that is easier if you are involved than if it would be only him. He is able to maintain a level of calmness in combat but he tends to be more frantic and panicked if you should get involved which is why he takes according preparation to ensure that you won't get involved and will be used as a distraction against him. He has a code of honor though as he doesn't walk around and beats everyone up who gets on his nerves nor does he stain his sword in needless blood. He only ever draws his sword in a dire situation. Whilst he is considerate enough to give someone a warning if they should slowly get on his bad side, the fun has already stopped for him there. All signs of a warm smile on his face are already gone at that point and instead there is this serious and almost somber aura around him that makes the air heavy. Don't underestimate him, although be reassured that at least he will give his victims a swift death.

💧Despite the existing obliviousness that he has when it comes to the ability to recognise his own wrong feelings for you, Takeshi also draws a line he tries to not tresspass under normal circumstances. Next to the act of taking a life, the act of abducting his darling is also something he normally wouldn't dare to do. His position as the Storm Guardian may be one filled with more risks and danger but he also makes sure to enable you to live a normal life. I don't really see him permanently abducting you but he will take certain meassurements for your safety if the situation calls for it. That can include relocating you to a safer and better guarded and protected place and restricting your ability to walk freely and alone around for an unknown period of time. Those conditions are never something permanent though as they only last as long as the situation is still grave.

💧His good-natured personality might to more harm for you than it can do good for you at times because you somehow always end up being blamed for misunderstanding the situation if you truly try to avoid him or just aren't interested in him as he ends up stealing the hearts of all the people around you. Almost chivalrous in his courting, Takeshi is also unable to be stopped in his attempts to woo you. His determination is overflowing and he never gives up his hopes no matter how much you try to tell him that you aren't interested. Even if he may be considerate enough to back off and stop, you can always sense that he is waiting for the next chance. He often invites you over to the sushi bar his father owns and ends up preparing you sushi for free, even if you insist on paying.

Sasagawa Ryohei

👊As someone who lives by the motto of living to the extreme, you can probably already imagine how Ryohei is. He gives 120% all of the time and that naturally includes his behavior around you. Ryohei dabbles into the full-blown delusional area of his obsession. You are his passion, his heart is set on fire whenever he sees you and all the potentially worrying behavior he starts exhibiting due to his feelings all fly over his head as he can easily dismiss them as acts of his passion for you. You think that it is quite creepy that he is always insisting on following you around wherever you go to the point where he even sprints to you if you try to leave earlier in order to be freed from his company? You're being silly, he just wants to make sure that he can protect you if something should happen. A particular focus of his seems to be his fixation on thinking that it is his job to protect you since he is your boyfriend.

👊His delusional streak makes the normally already obstinate boy even more sturdy as every rejection coming from you flies over his head to the point where he even forgets that you ever had the conversation with him in the first place. Whilst he is at least not that bad to the point where he literally misunderstands everything from you as a sign of your secret feelings for him, he is still quite good in erasing everything "inconvenient" from his mind. Did I mention that he is clingy? He has to be involved in your life as much as he can and he does so even if he ends up making you a tad bit more uncomfortable by inserting himself arguably more forceful into your daily routine. If he doesn't do exactly that, he in fact can get quite twitchy as he doesn't really like not being up to date and actively involved in your life for a longer amount of time.

👊Bring. It. On. Jealousy from Ryohei's side can very quickly activate his competitive nature where he sees every provocation from someone else as a challenge and since it really isn't his personality to back away from a fight, he will accept the challenge that probably only exists in his own mind. It isn't even out of character for him to actually ask someone if they would fight him in a boxing match. He really doesn't think such things through and he is quite fine with that as he is always ready for a fight and that eagerness is especially triggered if he finds a "rival" he has to compete against. The problem here is thst Ryohei is exceptionally quick to feel jealous, don't underestimate how passionate his feelings for you actually are. Chances are due to this that someone gets involved who isn't even interested in you and Ryohei insists on a fight because if someone isn't even couragous enough to face him, they are not worthy of you.

👊His willingness to battle even extends to more life-threatening fights where his own life is on the line as he sees every obstacle as a chance to grow stronger. However, Ryohei is firm in his belief that his lover has nothing to do with his battles so he always makes sure never let you get involved in any dangerous activities, especially once he starts working for the Vongola Family. The thing is that he doesn't really think too much the moment someone infuriates him because then the result is usually a broken jaw as he impulsively punches them. His passion can turn quite deadly if you are at risk as it can turn into mindless wrath where he just starts violently attacking someone without stopping until he has calmed down. Whilst this reckless and impulsive behavior dies down a bit as he gets older, I would argue that the new maturity he brings to the task is perhaps even more terrifying as he lets his victim know that he is going to kill them and that they should at least show him that they have some honor by fighting back instead of begging pathetically for their life.

👊As a student this is honestly a tad bit amusing but for the biggest portion just scary. Ryohei doesn't force you in his life because it has always been the other way around. He forces himself in your life. Whenever he is in the mood, he just pops up in front of your house and screams in front of your window that he wants to see you. The whole neighborhood knows about his feelings because he really doesn't hold back to express them to you in about every loud way possible. So during his younger years he always comes to you when he feels like you might be in danger, fully prepared to defend you. He only really gets the needed capacities to kidnap you when he joins the mafia and matures as it is only then that he realises that an abduction is a thing. At this point he has fallen out of his worst delusional phase though and only uses that option if your life is in grave danger. The whole plan will be more or less a spontanous act though as he is the one who then comes storming to your house to bring you to a safer place.

👊Ryohei is not a good planner, especially during his time as a student. He tends to forget important stuff and details though and he becomes quite conscious of this when he starts gaining feelings for you. It would be incredibly unfitting for him to forget important details about you since he wants to be your man so he starts writting memos to not forget it. He has those same memos still years later although he doesn't need them anymore at that point. He is quite verbal and physical to express his love to you and at times he even sees it as a challenge to show you as much of his love as he can, especially if someone else is very nice to you and in this case it doesn't even matter if they are interested in you or not. He's constantly begging you to visit his boxing club or to just watch him train because he does like to show off his skills at time. Whilst the wildest parts of his personality weaken over time as he grows older, his feelings for you certainly don't.

Hibari Kyoya

🐤Hibari is going to pose a big problem for you due to his solitary and indomitable nature as well as his naturally scary appearance. He is very possessive and shows little to no consideration to you nor to others as he wants you and he does whatever it takes to have you. Your consens isn't even really needed for that matter because as long as Hibari knows that you are his, he is going to be satisfied no matter how you may currently feel. Whilst he is actually not blind to the fact that he is very obsessed with you and that he does a lot of things that are anything but good and moral behavior, he just frankly doesn't care. Hibari is only interested in what he values and wants so he doesn't have time considering everyone's feelings, not even your own. Since he is known to use authority and even violence to everyone who doesn't follow the rules or who gets on his nerves, you can probably already imagine what that implies for you.

🐤You have your own lovely set of rules he has made for you and he expects you to follow them as well. It is quite hypocritical that he despises being controlled or restrained but inflicts the very things he hates on you. You may be tempted to try to escape or simply ignore the rules because Hibari is actually not that present in your life but whenever you do such a wasted attempt, he finds out and will approach you quickly after with a displeased glint in his eyes. What you don't know is that whilst you may not see him every day, Hibari is watching you more often than you think. He is stalking you often from somewhere, those cold eyes trailing after you as he mentally notes every thing you do. It is due to this stalking nature that he has gathered a ton of information on you, more than you are confident with. His lonesome and possessive nature is going to isolate you naturally more, even if you aren't a social butterfly to begin with.

🐤He values rules and expects others to stick to them. The moment he sets his eyes on you, one unspoken rule instantly becomes that no one should dare to get close to you or try to take you. Since Kyoya is quite confident in his own abilities and his strength, jealousy is perhaps not the right word to use. He is displeased and annoyed more than anything because some idiot here thinks that they can just ignore his rules. Well, it usually doesn't end well for the person anyways and unfortunately even you may become a victim to his displeasure if you should have acted in a way that has awoken the impression that you forgot that you belong to him. If this should happen often, whether it is your fault or someone else's, Kyoya will see it through to isolate you from people a lot more so that you learn your lesson. Honestly, he is being unnecessarily harsh with you but that is mainly to blame on his introverted traits.

🐤Due to his little regard for the well-being of others, Kyoya will be especially ruthless if he decides to attack because he is always going to hurt someone. Whilst he doesn't let people die needlessly for his own interest, he will be everything but gentle on them as he just believes that people who don't value rules have to be punished. He knows that establishing his own dominance and letting others know what happens if they break rules or annoy him is the most efficient way to make them listen and obey so he does exactly that. Since you are his possession after all, he won't allow anyone to touch you nor will he allow anyone to hurt you. As cold and scary as he may be, this makes him awfully protective over you as he will go after everyone who does as much as threaten you. He is not joking around in the least bit and that means that Hibari will have a considerable kill count as the years pass by, especially once he gets involved with the mafia.

🐤He hates crowds, he hates people, he just hates being around others in general. He prefers to be alone and he prefers you to be alone as well. It is easier to keep an eye on you then and see what you do and he also doesn't have to get irritated by the people around you. Yet I don't see Hibari going instantly for the forceful abduction because he likes to believe that you will know what you are and aren't supposed to do without him needing to actively surveil you. Don't get cocky though because if you misbehave one too many times, he will lock you away in his house and not let you leave until he believes you have learned your lesson. A permanent abduction doesn't sound appealling to him because he doesn't want to become some sort of caretaker for you as that would just tie him down. He wants you to be independent enough to get through your normal life by yourself yet obedient enough to him to know what you aren't supposed to do.

🐤Sometimes days go on where you do not see Hibari personally but you never know if he is currently watching you from elsewhere in that moment or not. Truth is that Kyoya actually needs his solitude as well and will leave you by yourself then. If you break any of his rules, he will find out somehow after all but sometimes he just needs some time for himself. Whilst he has been acting on his possessive feelings for the most part, sometimes he gets really strict with you precisely because he has a soft spot for you. In a way one could see this as a way of you having control over him too but to not let you even get the idea that you may use his feelings against him, he is very keen on establishing his own dominance over you. It is this mindset that gives him a tough time being soft around you although he eventually mellows out slowly as years pass by until he even entrusts you with the care of his Hibirds.

Basilicum

🟤Basil may be a part of the CEDEF but don't even expect for a minute that this means that he is aware enough to know about his own feelings. He is quite a good example of being a delusional Yandere though because despite working for a Secret Intelligence Organisation, he is quite prone to misunderstand things. Yes, he will completely misunderstand it whenever he catches you looking at him or whenever you are just simply polite and helpful around him. Apparently politness from your side is seen as signs of attraction for him from his side. This can get quite out of hand as he slowly starts reciprocate your gestures in the way he thought they were meant. He also starts helping you in your daily life and he even buys you small gifts every once in a while which he gives you whilst a blush is on his face.

🟤He is quite shy though because whilst he is talented in many things and is the apprentice of Iemitsu, he has never been trained how to court someone and how to confess to the person he loves. This does cause him to feel awfully hesitant and insecure at times because he is constantly worrying that he does something wrong and tends to dramatise gestures and behavior from your side to the point where he believes that he has done something terrible to offend you. Whilst Basil is quite gullible and for that fairly easy to manipulate the tables can turn quite a lot when he gets desperate and looks like he is genuinely about to cry. He's on his knees and begging you then to forgive him because he doesn't know how he could continue living happily if he wouldn't have you in his life. If you think that this outburst is only going to last for a little while, you couldn't be more wrong. Are you really heartless enough to let him drown in such eternal misery?

🟤If you worry that his insecurities might make way to jealousy, don't. He's got you covered already. He has gotten over those feelings by pretty much keeping tabs on all the people around you and spying on them as well as stalking you and noting down who all the people are you have in your life. This might be quite disturbing for you if you were to ever find out but knowing such things is very reassuring for Basil who feels less threatened by having potentially someone else who would be interested in you. If he ever does feel jealous, there is always this black hole that is mainly there because he feels like he doesn't understand them enough so he intensifies his research until he digs very deep into their life just to fill that empty hole in his heart. If he knows them after all, he can prepare himself accordingly and that helps him to feel at ease.

🟤As a member of the CEDEF, despite his innocent looks Basil actually holds a lot more power and possesses much more skill than the average person could ever hope to have. As such he would be in theory quite dangerous but luckily he is on the kinder and polite spectrum. He may know at one point everything about you as well as all your family members, friends and acquaintances but that is just how he works as he feels uneasy if he doesn't know everything. His obsession really won't let him rest when it comes to this. This automatically means though that he can use his position as a member of the organisation to dig up some secrets that shouldn't be known if he should ever classify someone as a threat to you. There is no real use for violence for Basil unless it is a last resort because he can just blackmail someone with the information he has obtained about them.

🟤He would be lying if he would claim that he has never imagined living with you before. In fact he starts fantasising about it quite a lot the more time you spend together with him and the more he finds out about you. He has his hopes even up that those dreams won't be dreams anymore as soon as the both of you are old enough because he tends to see things with rose-tinted glasses. There is no real threat for Basil to kidnap you though, at least for the most part. He may start shedding tears the moment he asks you if you want to move in with him and you reject him, he may beg you to change your mind but he won't do much else. You do think you see him at night standing in front of your house at times though. Basil can be quite efficient though with the load of stuff he knows about you as well as your family and friends which can be used as a very lethal way to blackmail you into doing as he says. Let's just hope that it doesn't get that far.

🟤His extremely obsessive tendencies imply that he also knows all about your secrets and fears that only very few people may know but at least he seems to possess enough common sense to understand that he shouldn't let you know about the knowledge he possesses about you. At times he may slip up though by accidentally mentioning something to you that he shouldn't know about you but he is smart enough to always cover his mistakes up. Basil definitely uses the huge amount of information he holds in his hands to charm you as well as all the people who are important to him in hopes that they will like him. It is quite important to him that all the people you love will like him so he would be quite distraught if one of them wouldn't think much of him or even go as far as thinking that he isn't suited to be your partner.

Dino

🐎Dino is just smooth. He is tall, he is handsome and he is quite skilled with his words as well, sure to flatter all the women around him, Dino has set his eyes on you though so he only cares about how his charm will affect you. Dino is actually quite lucid about the entire situation and he won't lie, he has spent some nights thinking about how he should feel bad about it. After all he is a very caring individual to everyone who works for him and who means something to him. Despite the hint of guilt that he manages to experience at times though, for the most part there is just a dwelling possessive feeling that demands him to claim you as his. He is careful with the way he approaches you though as he keeps his identity as well as the true extend of his feelings a secret. Even as a mafia boss, he chooses the honest route of courting you for the most part and he is actually quite confident in his ability to pull it off.

🐎Nevertheless though, a sprinkle of manipulation here and there will still be used to just stir you in the right direction. His mature and calm exterior combined with his good looks and his smooth words can make a quite lethal combination after all and he even learns to use his occasional clumsiness to make himself appear even more endearing in your eyes. He only uses subtle manipulation for the most part though as he still wants you to choose him out of your won free will. Quite protective of those who mean something to him, this naturally starts applying to you as well to the point where his skills even increase when around you. Whilst his clumsiness then doesn't work anymore, he learns to act like he is sometimes still quite ditzy either to make you smile or de-escalate a possibly tense situation between you two. Whilst he ensures that he never reveals his more intimidating side to you though, he will be much more willing to reveal it to others.

🐎How blessed you are to have someone like him who is not only skilled and handsome but also so mature and collected. Confidence really can do wonders and Dino showcases that perfectly. He knows that he is physically appealing and since he has gotten so insanely dedicated to you which has led to the disappearance of his clumsiness when he is around you, he is very skilled in most things he does. There aren't many people who can do the same so he can be quite relaxed as he lets you spend your time with other people. Even if there should be someone who tries their luck with you, he just watches with an amused look on his face. He doesn't even have to say anything as most lose their courage the moment he steps next to you and just looks at them with that entertained look on his face. He can switch a flip though by becoming more serious when someone is actually more than just talk. He respects that but that doesn't mean that they can just think about trying to court you.

🐎He is not going to take it lightly the moment someone threatens his darling. Dino is very protective because he is a mafia boss who has been in this business for quite some time now. He knows how dangerous it can get in his world and that you wouldn't last long if you were to get ever involved. He is vicious to guarantee that no one can ever get that close to you simply to protect your unawareness of what he really does. Perhaps it also the fear of what you might do if you were to ever figure out that he is the head of his own mafia family. It is going to be difficult to touch even your hair in any harmful way though because not only is his organisation very big but his subordinates are also extremely loyal to him. Then there is of course also Dino who is a force that has to be acknowledged because Reborn has trained him truly well as he murders anyone who poses a serious threat without any hesitation. You must never know about all of this though.

🐎He is definitely going to ask you to move in with him after a while of being a couple. If you reject him, that is fine. He understands that it may be still a bit too sudden and then he just waits for a while until he repeats his question to you. If it would be someone else than Dino, you could get in trouble but to your huge luck Dino is as composed as he is. There is a limit to this all though and that will be when he decides to propose to you within only two years of being a pair. That is your last chance to accept him on your own free will because after that Dino will get involved otherwise to give you the needed push to accept his offer. Even if he attempts to not be too horrible in the course he chooses to take, what he does cannot be excused as he gives you some financial troubles or sees it through that some essential things like your car or your keys get stolen.

🐎Your life is going to be quite an easy one as long as things between Dino and you go smoothly. You will be pampered and spoiled by him a lot as a sort of excuse for his absence whenever he has to fulfill his role as the mafia boss. Lavish clothes, delicious food and expensive trips around the world all become part of your life and technically everything could go smoothly. Unfortunately Dino has never really told you what he really does for a living so the essential break might happen if you find it out in a most unfortunate moment and react horribly to the reveal. Because at this point in your life, you won't go anywhere anymore. He hasn't married you for you to leave him just because you found out who he really is. He feels sorry and believe him, he understands. He didn't desire to be the boss of the Cavallone Famiglia until Reborn trained him either.

Squalo

◻️Whether Squalo really has any understanding for his obsession or not is not really of importance, although I like to imagine that as a second-in-command he is smart enough to recognise it. Even if he knows about it though, it does not matter in the least bit to him as he just takes it as it is with no signs of guilt or mercy which spells trouble for you, my dear. Squalo has an awfully huge ego and is very possessive to top it all as he takes pride in his strength and his skill. There is no such thing as courting you or trying to win your heart over as this is way too time-consuming and too much work for this man and since he is as powerful as he is, the easiest way is just forcing you into everything by abusing his influence and his power. You are just his one day suddenly and from that day on he makes sure through often radical ways that you learn to understand this by adjusting your social activities and your closeness to others.

◻️Squalo has no troubles simply blackmailing you into doing as he tells you to do and isn't even shying away from threatening those around you to make everything even more efficient. His overly possessive antics definitely lead you into an isolating condition where you are partially stuck because you are too scared of him and are partially stuck because you are too scared of what he may do to other people if you would break his rules. You are constantly put under stress as you are never feeling safe even if he isn't pysically within your proximity. Your unease is not unjustified because even if Squalo has a short temper it is important to consider that despite everything he is still part of the Varia and an extremely talented assassin. It is part of his skill to watch people silently from afar to wait for the right moment so you never know when he might watch you either.

◻️Squalo is threatening and noisy if he should ever feel jealous because he for sure will let you and the other person know about how he is feeling. You should know better than to engage with someone else, you should know better than to question his possession over you like this but sometimes you just seem to be amazingly stupid. Think about it and consider that this man is very violent and extremely deadly too. He could probably murder someone within only a few seconds, if he is feeling merciful that is. Needless to say, such events never end well for you as he is not only threatening your company but will also violently drag you away from the scene. You cannot say anything unless you dare to add fuel to his flaring temper as he frags you away, his grip on you tight and painful but it's not like he cares. You better pray that he won't search for that bastard later on to quench his anger.

◻️Squalo is arguably one of the most vicious and violent people you could have in this cast. He is already a trained assassin, he loves fights and he has been described by Dino as a shark that has smelled blood. The only thing you can do is pray when he leaves to hunt someone down. He kills everyone who has gotten on his nerves or triggered him in regards to you. Whether the poor victim he hunts down is someone who would have been an actual threat to your life or is just someone who you seem to be too attached to is of no matter. He experiences a euphoric bloodlust whilst hunting his prey down as he displays a sadistic vein, enjoying the sight of them trembling in fear and begging for their life. Even more twisted is the fact that he tends to take his time when he is feeling especially sadistic, cutting his victims slowly down until they have either succumbed to their injuries or he got bored of them.

◻️Technically he already exhibits a great influence over your life even whilst you are still living by yourself but as he wants complete submission from your side, you just have to wait for a bit until he finally makes the decision to relocate you somewhere else. He does it as he has always done everything in your life which is using force to have you comply with his demands. The new place you can call your home from that day on is isolated which reduces your social contact significantly and will also be installed with cameras and a security system so that you don't get any stupid ideas if he should be gone on missions. You still receive everything you need to survive and keep the house clean as he doesn't want to be your babysitter and whenever he returns to the place where you are stuck, he sort of expects from you to have taken care of the house in his absence.

◻️He displays an extremely shitty and arrogant attitude around you where he isn't even scared to draw his sword against you if you should get on his nerves too much. Other members of the Varia definitely know you as he sometimes drags you along to show you off like a trophy, looking and sounding unusually proud as he shows you off and actually getting mad for your sake if someone else from the other assassins should insult you. That is only as long as you behave yourself because Squalo will punish you if you were to embarrass him in front of other members of Varia. He is actually willing to give you compliments if you happen to be exceptionally talented in something he deems as useful as he likes having something he can brag about to the Varia about you. He also expects getting a lot of compliments from you because of the pride he takes in himself. Don't try to insult him though because he will be quick to make you regret it.

Spanner

🔧Spanner is willing to betray his own side when it helps him to find out more about something he is interested in. Now crank that up a few notches and give him an obsession centered around his darling and you have yourself a prime example of an obsessed man. Spanner is very willing to break private rights and throw away commonly accepted morals if it helps him to find out more about you and whilst he is careful about not to betray the Millefiore, he is willing to lie to them to keep them away from your life as much as possible. Despite those actions he takes, he is actually quite good in deceiving you to see him as someone else. He just presents himself with a laid-back and chill exterior which manages to make you feel at ease around him. What you don't seem to notice for a long time is how he observes you as you let your guard down around him, gauging your every reaction with a keen interest.

🔧He is an engineer and he is quite talented as well so obviously he is going to abuse the skills he has to spy on you even better. Whether he wires your house when you invite him over or even installs a tracker on your phone to always be able to know your exact location, he is not holding back. He in fact occasionally even causes some devices in your house to malfunction without your knowledge when he is in your house just to have you spend more time with him because he is always the one who offers to repair them for you when you complain to him that they aren't working properly anymore. If he considers his feelings and the actions he has chosen to take so far more carefully, he guesses that his interest in you might be quite unhealthy but somehow he is far too nonchalant to really care. He doesn't have any bad intentions after all and is actually even protecting you so it can't be that bad.

🔧With the way he is installing the listening devices and at one point even tiny cameras in your house and tracks you down via your phone, it is safe to assume that he has a very good idea with whom you choose to spend your time with when either he or you don't have a chance to see each other. He thinks it is better that way because by being able to hack your phone or other technical devices, he always knows what is going on between you and others and it saves him from being worked up over nothing. There is very little chance for him to misunderstand the situation as he can constantly spy on you. He handles jealousy fairly composed in comparison to some other members but he is definitely going to have to know more about anyone who triggers such an emotion inside of him. He just likes to be prepared in case he has to interfere before they get any closer to you by being able to blackmail them a bit.

🔧I'm pretty sure he is just going to invent something instead of killing someone with his own hands. It's not like he is just going after everyone's threat because he actually enjoys his peace and wouldn't want too much trouble in his life. Sometimes Spanner knows that he has to do something before something happens, especially if your own life is in any danger. Then he has of course also the option of asking Shoichi for help if your life should be in potential danger and he does use the influence of his friend at times. Other times he feels like he should be the one to make sure that your life is protected though because he is the one obsessed with you and then he just builds something to assist him in his task to protect you. He is uncomfortable with killing someone personally but this seems to be a different matter if he kills someone with one of his inventions and just watches from the sideline or from behind a monitor.

🔧With the data he collects on you as time passes by, he has technically quite a bit he could use against you if he were to ever feel like forcing you. For some reason Spanner instead likes to savor the time he has with you right now as it is. The time where you don't know that he has cameras and listening devices in your home, has a tracker installed in your phone and has hacked into your laptop and phone already multiple times. He isn't as optimistic as to believe that it will all stay a secret forever though. After all life can always take an unexpected turn and so he starts thinking ahead how he should react and what he should do the moment you would find out about the people he works for as well as his own creepy behavior he has secretly done without your knowledge. He's sure he would have to restrict you within your life somehow, partially also to protect you from the Millefiore.

🔧You are going to be given quite a few of his lollipops and depending on what your favorite flavor is, he will adjust his candies accordingly whenever he gifts you some. He will even shape them differently if you would ask him to do so. If we ignore the fact that he always sabotages your electronical advices to his own advantage, Spanner is actually quite helpful as well as useful in your life. He is an expert when it comes to everything electronical and next to fixing your stuff for free whenever he has time, he even builds you some devices to help you in your household. He's normally quite relaxed and just likes to lean back and listen to you instead as he is not a big talker and thinks that whatever you could tell him would be much more interesting over what he could talk about. Well, not like he can really talk about some of the activities he does in his daily life to you anyways unless he wants to scare you away by revealing that he has been spying on you.

Doctor Shamal

🩺´Shamal is a simp who is down bad for his darling and their gender doesn't even play a role in this case because will act even worse than he has already done with every other woman he has been trying to flirt with. It is highly likely that his darling thinks of it as nothing serious because Shamal is such a womanizer and has been flirting with a lot of people. You'd think that the doctor would assume so too, especially if his darling is biologically female. However, somehow Shamal has known that he feels differently for you after only meeting you one time. You are different and the fact that he feels something very special when he as much as thinks about you causes him to be quite clingy and obsessive as a reaction. He wants to be with you as much as he can and he will openly creep you out with it as he has no shame to follow you around in public and even wait for you in places he eventually comes to realise you tend to visit often. That or he's just standing in front of your door all of the time.

🩺In Doctor Shamal's mind though, he doesn't see any of this as scary or creepy. Instead he goes down the delusional path as he is absolutely enraptured with you. He has fallen in love with someone for the first time and he just knows that his feelings for you will always be there and that he will from now on always be genuine when around you. So he makes absolutely no attempt to try to hold his feelings for you back as he showers you in presents and even tries to steal kisses from you even if you do not consent to it. He is downright reckless at times in his attempts to declare his love to you. If you lock the door and refuse to acknowledge how he is knocking on your door, it has happened that he has even climbed up the roof of another house or to your window to see you and to make you see him. As you can see, he really has no chill.

🩺Struck with the attention-seeker-syndrome that he has, he will never be happy if you ignore him for someone else and you do it quite a lot. That's alright though, he likes how you try to play the tough game with him but he is still quite unhappy if you ignore his presence even if he is standing right next to you. You may hope that you will discourage him by doing so but instead you only fuel his passion as he sees it as a sign that he has to fight for you and prove to you that he is the right man to be your lover so in a way all people you rather spend your time with become his rivals. He is especially competitive against those who are neither family nor close friends of yours as he views them as love rivals. This all seems ridiculous and pathetic until he pulls out his mosquitoes to inflict someone with a harmless, but still severe disease because if they don't appear, you won't be able to ignore him.

🩺All of his silliness aside you better keep in mind that this is a notrious assassin who was even offered a position in the Varia for his skills. The best and simultanously scariest part is that Shamal doesn't even have to do much to kill someone. He merely has to send one of his mosquitoes after his victim and then has to simply wait until they die from the deadly disease the insect has infected them with. He isn't a crazed doctor though so he at least doesn't let anyone around you drop dead within a day. His main motivation behind it is mainly that he doesn't want to push you into the depths of despair so we can argue about whether he is acting noble or not. He has no such problems if it concerns people who endanger your life or just don't treat you right as he can switch to a more cunning and serious side then. Everyone who doesn't respect you or even dares to hurt you will receive no mercy from him and he will get rid of such people quickly before they can pose a even bigger threat in your life.

🩺Shamal is totally convinced that you two will live together later on. He has envisioned it all. You two will move in together, he will propose to you and then both of you will get married and be the sappiest and most lovely couple that people will have ever seen. You may not share those fantasies and dreams of his but it is not like you will ruin them for him anyways. There is going to be no competition to consider besides him anyways because all of them are battling with some tough diseases and as soon as they seem to recover, they are struck with the next illness. You see, you won't have any other choice besides him. That's alright though because he is the only one who can truly love and worship you as you deserve to be treated.

🩺There is a potential where he could simply use his mosquitoes against you and weaken you to force you to rely on him but that is a more unlikely scenario. As indecent as he can be towards you at times, he genuinely doesn't intend any harm to come your way. Whilst he will openly admit that he enjoys it whenever you do come down with something and need his medical assistance to get better, he would never infect you with something. He can use the illnesses of others around you though to boost his image as he will offer you his assistance for free only to then take advantage of the debt you oew him after, even if he doesn't demand any money from you. You just feel too guilty to deny him some of his requests where he wants you two to spend some time together. He's going to praise you nearly all the time though for everything as your mere existence is wonderful.

#yandere katekyo hitman reborn #yandere khr #yandere reborn!#yandere haru #yandere miura haru #yandere gokudera #yandere gokudera hayato #yandere yamamoto #yandere yamamoto takeshi #yandere ryohei #yandere sasagawa ryohei #yandere basilicum #yandere basil #yandere dino #yandere squalo #yandere superbia squalo #yandere spanner #yandere shamal #yandere doctor shamal

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suchalonelysunflower · 1 year

Text

You Are What You Love (l.h)

Pairing: Luke Hemmings x Fem! Reader

Requested? Yes! (requests are currently closed)

Summary: Based on the song "Daylight" By Taylor Swift. Luke's thinking about his perspective of love while he reminisces about when he first met you

Warnings: Fluff, language, mentions of alcohol and toxic relationships. Some grammatical errors (English is not my first language, im sorry)

Word Count: 2.4 k

Author's Note: I just really wanted to write this one and give it my own lil twist. Remember that REBLOGS are super IMPORTANT and so are COMMENTS AND INTERACTIONS. PLEASE SUPPORT YOUR WRITERS. Hope you like it and Happy Reading

My masterlist // tag list in bio!

The day was getting to him and they’d practically just started. Doing promos all day is something they all got used to when they first started, but it has become repetitive and unhealthy after years of being in the spotlight.

It’s not like Luke isn’t grateful for the opportunity he has of making music with his best friends, he loves what he does and why he’s doing it. But he has to admit priorities have changed for him lately, and being away from home for too long was making him angsty.

“Dude, cheer up!” Ashton would say, giving him a big smile and patting him on the shoulder as they waited for the next interviewer.

Luke would give him a half-hearted, tired smile that mimicked his feelings on the inside. He would see how Michael, Ash, and Calum would joke with each other a little bit, already getting in the mood for another seven minutes of answering questions - although everyone knew Ashton would be speaking the most again, thank you very much. And for a moment it was nice to see them slip from the personas they present in front of the camera and just let them be.

He also took this moment to check his phone and take it out from “do not disturb” when a text message showed up. After reading it his smile was for real this time.

“Is it Y/N?” Michael asked, noticing the grin on Luke’s face.

“Yeah, she says hi”

Quickly, Luke texted you back, noticing the interviewer was already making their way to them. Still, he couldn’t shake the smile off of his face.

* A few years ago.

The party was a success - or a mess if you’re the one cleaning afterward, which is pretty much what Luke promised to do if Ashton threw a party that weekend. This time it took more than ten minutes to convince the eldest of 5sos to throw a party, which is more than anyone would’ve expected coming from him.

“Luke, I already hosted a party three days ago” Ashton sighed while doing the dishes, giving his back to the youngest of the band.

“But Aaaash,” Luke pouted even though Ashton couldn’t see him “It’s the weekend!”

“Don’t you think you like partying too much?”

“Funny you’re saying it,” Luke rolled his eyes, but when he noticed Ashton stare once he turned back, he knew he was serious “C’mon, dude”

“Luke, you’re deflecting” Ashton crossed his arms in front of his chest “Don’t think we don’t notice how you use parties as an excuse to avoid the elephant in the room”

“I’m fine,” He scoffed, and the eldest raised an eyebrow at him.

“Oh? So you’re ready to tell me what happened the day you showed up at my house with your dog and a U-Haul filled with your things?” Ashton sighed again when noticing Luke’s eyes deflecting his gaze “Look, you know I love having you here, but it’s not fun to see you hurting, Luke. Whatever happened with her… you know we’ll support you, right?”

And Luke knew they would. Fuck, Luke loves his friends because of it, they will never leave him behind if the ship was sinking. But the ship was already at the bottom of the ocean and they were still looking for the remains of his broken heart, not knowing there was nothing left to save. Not even himself.

“Luke…”

“Fine, if you don’t want to have a party then forget it,” Luke said, turning around and going to his room.

Ashton groaned loudly and threw his head back before calling out “Okay! We’re having a stupid party! But you’re cleaning up the next day!”

And so came Saturday and the house was packed. Except for one lonely soul sitting outside against the wall, drinking a beer, and not being able to figure out what was so wrong with him. Ashton was right, he was deflecting. But what was wrong with wanting to have a little party to try and forget the past?

The lights were low, so no one could recognize him that easily as he slipped out. The loud noises of the party drowned the sounds of his mind telling him he was the one that fucked up and that he should go back to what he knew was an unhealthy environment. At least that’s a place familiar to him; the feeling of not being enough but still trying to make it up somehow; being the butt of the joke everyone and laughing along even though they never knew the struggle or the pain behind every word or comment he read on the internet.

He was in love, or at least he thought he was. Damn, there was his whole life ahead of him and he thought she’d be by his side through all of it. But love doesn’t have to be black and white, it doesn't have to make you doubt every single word or move or Instagram post. He never thought love could be so cruel… or maybe he didn’t know what love was after all.

What’s worst of it all is that he knew he hurt some people along the way. Fuck, he even made Ashton throw him a party every week to try and cheer him up even though everyone knew it was all a charade. After everything that he did wrong, his friends are still there for him when he least deserves it. All because he was too hung up to see the reality, or too scared to face it.

Still, at least he was sound of mind and heart and didn’t plan to go back to her, even if that meant waking up and facing the unknown future again.

“Cheers to that,” He mumbled as he brought the beer bottle he was nursing to his lips.

“Amen,” A voice said behind him, making him spill his drink all over his shirt “Oh shit! Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you”

Luke wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, counting to ten in his head so that he won’t curse this person out. But soon a hand was stretched out to him, offering some napkins to clean himself out.

Finally, his blue eyes were able to look at the person who so rudely interrupted his self-deprecating moment. And for a second there he was speechless.

“I’m truly sorry,” The girl gave him a shy, awkward smile, “I thought you heard me get out and- Well, that’s what I get for trying to be funny, I guess”

Luke blinked up at her, losing his train of thought when he noticed how cute she looked when blushing and the way her eyes sparkled before she looked down. He couldn’t help but chuckle as he accepted the napkins.

“It was funny,” He said, dabbing his shirt “I always hated this shirt anyways, so thank you for helping me get rid of her”

The girl smiled “I don’t know if you’re making fun of me… but, yeah, that shirt is very 2015”

Luke fake gasped in surprise “Are you saying I have bad taste?”

“I’m saying that maybe you did but are now repenting for your sins”

“So quick-witted”

“One of my many talents”

“What’s another one?”

“I can run faster than a wolf”

“Don’t you get tired?” He asked, scooting to his side so that she could sit beside him. She did.

“Maybe when I do I’ll finally find the place that makes me what to stay” She shrugged “Do you have a talent?”

“I can’t seem to differentiate heroes from villains”

She looked at him, resting her chin on her hand “What do you think I am, then?”

“I don’t know yet” He laughed, looking back at her and getting lost in her eyes for a second before asking “Should I be offended you'd rather be out here than at my party?”

“Should I be offended that the host of the party would rather sit outside in the cold than at his own party?” She challenged him “My friend dragged me here, but I’m not much of a social butterfly and I need a moment to charge my battery before she tries to set me up with another stranger”

“Ooff, tough crowd?”

“The toughest”

“Good.” Luke said, leaning back and looking up at the sky “Easiest way not to get hurt”

“Maybe,” She shrugged. “But if we don’t get hurt once in a while then why bother to feel anything at all?”

Luke turned to her, frowning as he examined her face. “Did Ashton send you here?”

The girl looked at him quizzically, “I literally have no idea who Ashton is, but if he’s like- I don’t know, your “guide” in the universe, then maybe?”

Luke laughed “He’s my co-host”

“Oh! The one singing “I will survive” in karaoke! Yeah, no, I haven’t talked to him. But if you want me to call him I could-”

“No!” Luke said way too quickly and she noticed that as well “I mean if he sees me he’ll know he’s right and I would rather eat another one of Calum’s veggie lasagnas than do that”

“Ouch, tough crowd?”

He groaned “You have no idea”

“I might, a little bit”

“Yeah?” He bumped her arm with his “What’s your story then?”

“Who wants to know?”

“Luke,” He said, extending a hand for her to shake.

“Y/N,” She took his hand in hers, shaking it firmly “Well, Luke, I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours”

“And if we never want to see each other after we do?”

“Then that’s a risk we’ll both have to take”

The memory faded as he noticed all eyes were on him.

Shit.

At least there’ll be more elevator memes after this interview.

“Sorry, could you repeat the question, please?” Luke asked, ignoring Calum’s chuckle.

“Of course!” The interviewer smiled “I said that you were one of the main writers in almost every song of this album. What’s the inspiration behind it?”

“Oh,” It was an easy answer, of course, something he had rehearsed with the guys beforehand. But as the memory of your first encounter was still so fresh, another answer came to mind “Love,”

“Love?”

“Well, I guess that the right way to say it would be the feeling you get when you know you’re safe” He started, “When you feel safe around that special someone, no judgment nor fears or doubts. When that person means the world to you and you would do anything to give it to them just to see the smile on their face even for just a second. Or when you make a mistake and you’re willing to put everything on the line to try and make it right, just hoping the other one will forgive you when you think you least deserve it. “I had my doubts about love for quite some time. Thinking I was defined by it when we just create the context ourselves when we find the right person to share that love with. I always believed love would be…”

“Burning red?” Michael smiled, finding the words right out of Luke’s mouth.

“Yeah,” He smiled “But love is not supposed to burn or to hurt. Love is supposed to keep us warm and safe. Love is golden, like daylight”

“But not our old song Daylight,” Ashton said, making everyone laugh “That truly was a mistake”

“But it is part of our history,” Calum added.

“Like heartbreaks and hurt,” Luke chimed in, going back to the original question “But without them, is it even worth feeling anything at all? They’re just passing by until you find the place you want to stay, with the ones you love”

Luke watched with a smile as the other guys answered the rest of the questions, knowing full well that this is where he was meant to be. But there was someone missing.

The car dropped him off first, his friends all saying their goodbyes or see you tomorrow and saying I love you to him before he got out. He cracked his back before he grabbed his bag and made his way to the front door, waving one last time at the guys.

The moment he crossed the door he hung his keys and got rid of his boots. He was about to call your name when a faint mixture of sounds got to him. He frowned as he walked toward the living room, quickly finding you under a pile of blankets, wearing his hoodie and with an arm wrapped around a very sleepy Petunia whose snores were drowned out by the sounds on your phone.

Luke smiled as he shook his head, walking over to his two girls and sliding down next to you, wrapping you with his arms.

“What’ you doing?” He said, kissing you on the cheek “Are you- are you watching 5sos TikToks?”

“What can I say?” You said, turning into his embrace and facing him “You guys are very entertaining”

You ignored the rolling of his eyes as you leaned over to kiss him sweetly on the lips, feeling how he relaxed against you.

“Hi,” You mumbled once you pulled back just enough to have only your noses touching.

“Hi, darling” Luke smiled, kissing you briefly one more time.

“Long day?”

“The longest without you”

“Sap” You giggled, trying to scurry away before his hands found your waist and started to tickle it, but not being able to succeed.

This is what he meant about love. Coming home after a long day and having your laugh be music to his ears. Being able to touch you and kiss you like it was the first time every time. Just relaxing with you on the couch with your dog, watching hours and hours of tiktoks before any of your stomachs started to grumble. Talking about your respective days while you cook dinner together with Fleetwood Mac’s music surrounding the house, listening to all the good and the bad and the ugly, and just being there for each other.

The words “I love you” never made sense to him before you came along. But when you kiss him goodnight and whisper those words to him, he knows them to be true. And when he says them back, he knows he’s falling short. Because a love like that is impossible to describe.

A love like that is golden. A love like that is kind.

So every night he adds:

“Loving you is the best thing I have” * * tags: @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof @mystic-232 @talksoprettyjjx @theshyspy @hoodhoran @hoodharlow @littledrummeraussie @bubblegum183 @irwin-fletcher-ash @wiiildflowerrr @another-lonely-heart @aabc5sauce @in-superbloom @sadcupofcoffee @personalmuyverypersonal @vtte @as-hs-blog @himbohood @sofiaaraee @irwindoll @weasleytwinscumslut @fairytrice @colourfulcal @nibin0912 @hfkait @savagejane1 @youneedtocalumdown @ashtonsunflower @nicebasscalum @calumspupils @secretsicanthideanymore @alltimesos @wontlastimokwiththat @whywontyoulovemecami @theimpossiblehologramtree @perriexed @abiancajg @rewmuslupin @icelily13 @bookthingz @gracieboogirl @fastandtheformula1 @kingxnichole @wildflower98

#luke hemmings #5 seconds of summer #5sos #suchalonelysunflower #luke hemming imagines #luke hemmings fanfic #luke hemmings fanfiction #Luke 5sos #luke 5 seconds of summer #5sos Luke #5 seconds of summer luke #5sos luke hemmings #5sos fic #5sos fanfiction #5 seconds of summer pic #5 seconds of summer fan fiction #luke hemmings one shot #Taylor swift #daylight

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blueicequeen19 · 1 year

Text

Part two to this and timed 6 months later…

@fiction-is-life @haven247 this one’s for you

Warnings: none, just angst

You’d hidden it as long as you could. You’d cut off your friends. You hid from your parents. You stopped partying. You blocked certain people on your phone. You even wore baggy clothes. Thankfully, it was winter time so no one really questioned that. But two people were very persistent. They both showed up everywhere and you did everything in your power to avoid them.

Rafe knew about JJ but JJ didn’t know about Rafe. And god help you when he does. But he’d soon figure it out. Everyone would now that you were showing and would continue to only get bigger. The secret was out and you were waiting for one or both of them to corner you and demand answers. It didn’t take long.

“Is it mine?” Your hand froze on the handle of your car and you saw his reflection in the glass, his face hard as he waited for your response. You slowly turn and face him, your emotions threatening to bubble over. You expected this but not this sudden.

“No.” You said softly, your chest tight with anxiety. His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed, hurt written all over his face. You wanted to cry and beg for him to forgive you. You didn’t want this.

“It’s Rafe’s, isn’t it?” JJ asks, his voice cold and his expression blank. You don’t answer. You don’t have to. Word spread pretty fast on the island and it only took one person witnessing how many times you had to run Rafe off.

JJ shakes his head, his hands trembling as he scratches the scruff on his chin.

“I wish it was yours.” You blurt, blinking back tears. He chuckles humorously. His rage washed over him and you knew there was no use trying to talk to him like this.

“Do you?” His words are laced with malice and you flinch. “Seems like to me that you’re going to be set for life. Cameron won’t let his kid grow up a Pogue. You sure as fuck won’t be one anymore. We all know how he is with his toys and now you’re one of them.” Your eyes fall closed as tears stream down your cheeks. His words hurt but that didn’t mean they weren’t true. You were relieved your child wouldn’t have to go without. If Rafe decided to step up.

“How could you do this to me?” JJ steps towards you, his angry eyes full of tears. Your own anger blooms and you plant your hands on his chest, shoving him.

“Me? I did this? You broke up with me!” You cry, your vision blurry with tears.

“That doesn’t give you the right to fuck the one guy I hate more than my dad!” JJ yells back.

“We weren’t together anymore!”

“And yet you found some way to make sure you hurt me. Good for you.” JJ turns to leave but you grab his arm, not ready for this to be the end.

“You left me. You don’t get to be mad over what I do when I’m single. I didn’t plan on getting pregnant. It only happened once and we were both drunk and I felt like shit afterwards. I wanted you back but I knew you wouldn’t have me after what I did. Especially now that I’m pregnant by someone else.”

“It’s not even that you’re pregnant by someone else. It’s because of all the guys on the island you could screw, you chose Rafe. You were trying to get back at me. You wanted to hurt me.”

“Well you hurt me too! Doesn’t mean I stopped loving you!” Everything seems to freeze at your words. Minutes seem to tick by as your eyes remain locked. So much time passed that you opened your mouth to beg him to speak when he takes a step back, his head hung.

“It’s not enough.” JJ turns his back on you and heads back to his truck, leaving you broken more than you already were.

You got into your car and drove with no real destination in mind. People stared at you as you drove with tears streaming down your face. One person even tried to get your attention at a stop light but you ignored them.

It wasn’t until the white mansion came into view that you’d realized where you’d ended up. You hadn’t even exited your car when Rafe appeared. He opened his mouth to speak until you pushed the door open and stepped out, letting him take you in.

Rafe was genuinely shocked but he wasn’t angry. His hand immediately went to your bump and you wanted to back away, wishing it was someone else but it didn’t matter what you wanted anymore. You had to do right by your baby. He or she deserved a father.

You thought he’d be angry that you’d ghosted him for the last 6 months but whatever he had wanted to say had dissolved and he only wanted to talk about you and the baby. He seemed to want you both taken care of and he wanted to be the one to do it.

That night, he introduces you to his father and step mother and although you can tell they’re both faking their happiness for the two of you, you have no doubt that they will be there no matter what. Rafe seemed to crave his fathers attention and approval so you went along with whatever he told him. Plans for the baby, plans for you, plans of being a couple. Whatever he said, you agreed with.

If only you’d taken the time to return home before dinner. You’d have found a defeated stubborn blonde with a bouquet of flowers and your favorite chocolates waiting on your door step.

#smutwarning #outer banks smut #jj maybank smut #jj maybank fic #jj maybank imagine #obx2 #jj maybank fluff #jj maybank x you #jj obx #rudy pankow

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just-my-type-x · 2 years

Note

Truth or drink with Colby where the questions reveal some kinks and secrets you never knew about each other as best friends. Afterwards he keeps teasing you (in a flirty/sexual way) about your answers so you flip the script and do it back to him and it leads to something more than just messing with each other for fun

Call me by my name

Smut

Rare occasion, pic is mine

"Are you ready to start and answer the questions that will cost you your dignity?", Sam asks from behind the camera. My eyes grow wide.

"What did i sign up for?", i question Colby and he just laughs at me

"Hey, I've already been through it, i got drunk as hell."

"Yeah, i know, because the answers cost you your dignity", i laugh and drag the vodka bottle closer to the leg of the table where 2 shot glasses were standing. Colby brings closer his Jack bottle as well and smiles at the camera.

"Let's go"

"Ok, starting with an easy one, y/n, have you ever had a one night stand with anyone from our group?", Sam asks and i raise an eyebrow, thinking.

"I don't think so, no i don't. Oh wait, yes, i have", i blush and grin at the camera

"Woaaah, i was not expecting that", Colby yells laughing. "Give us the name or you have to drink"

I look to my right to look at him. "The question didn't say to say his name", i smirk when Colby remains with an open mouth.

"That's true, who wrote these questions?", Sam asks scrolling up and down on his notes. "Colby, your turn", Sam waits for his friend ti nod. "What did you do last night? Meaning the type of sex you've had"

Colby blushes and i turn to him to look at his awkward face expression. "Uhm, just oral sex", he blushes again and shakes his head laughing.

"Was it good?", i ask and i catch both of them off guard. "What? Maybe i want to go to her too", i put my hands up in the air and look at Colby for an answer.

"Am i really supposed to answer you?"

"Well, i was curious, but it's ok, we can move on", i say and i chuckle

"Well if you really wanna know and, since you've already thrown the bait for the fans' curiosity, no, not really. Left a bit disappointed, not gonna lie", Colby shakes his head, resting his arm on the back of the couch.

"Woow, that went from 0 to 100 real quick", Sam laughs behind the camera. "Now you, y/n, answer Colby's request.", he says as he cracks open a white claw. I look confused at him and then remember about him wishing i gave him a name. I look from Colby to Sam and from Sam to Colby and i reach on the site to grab my alcohol. They both go" woooah" when i pour the shot and take it down at once. I make a face at the bitterness and i straighten my voice because of the burn i feel down my throat.

"Fuck you Colby", i say as i move the bottle away from me this time.

"This is how we know it wasn't my name which was supposed to come out of her mouth", Colby points to the camera, giggling

"And it never will, trust me. Not when it involves sex", i look straight into the camera and wink, hearing Colby scoff next to me.

"Alrighty, next question for our friend here. Y/N, have you ever masturbated thinking about one of us or our friends?", Sam asks pinning me with his eyes, dragging the word friends for more impact.

"No, it'll just distract me from what i am actually doing", i laugh and the boys follow

"She's such a savage. We're no good for her ni matter what", Colby says and rubs one of his eyes.

"I'm selective", i point out

"You still had sex with one of our friends.", Colby also points out.

"I wasn't selective when it happened", we laugh again and i wipe a tear from the corner of my eye because of how much we laughed

"Colby, have you ever had wet dreams about y/n? If yes, tell one of them", Sam takes a sip of white claw and we both turn our attention to Colby, who was smirking.

"Well, since i have nothing to lose, nor to gain, I'm gonna be honest. A few weeks ago, i had a wet dream of you", he faces me, then his head turns to the camera, "and i had a dream that we were in a jacuzzi and we were having sex, while you were on top of me and i was slapping your ass and moaning in your ear.", Colby's eyes are locked somewhere on the floor and he puts his hands on front of him like he'd be holding my ass. I chuckle when he comes back from his trance of telling us the dream. "That was so embarrassing to talk about", he faces me and he scratches his jaw.

"Did i have a nice ass?", i ask, trying to make him more comfortable

"I couldn't see because of the jacuzzi bubbles, but it felt big", we laugh again and i see him pour himself a shot. We ask him what's he's doing, while the shot is already down his throat. "I needed that"

"Y/N, have you ever faked an orgasm?", Sam asks and i blush

"I know y'all are going to say I'm lying, but I'm not. And no, i have not", i smile devilishly and flip my hair over my shoulders

"You're lying", Colby slaps his thighs looking at me

"As i was saying, I'm selective", i intertwine my fingers from both of my hands together and hold my knee, moving my foot from left to right, playfully.

"Colby, what's the most cringe way you've been called in bed?"

"This is so bad, but I'm gonna say it cause its funny as hell. Master of sex"

Sam and I look at each other for a second and burst out laughing like crazy. Colby joins us and for two minutes we only make fun of the pet name. "Please tell me you didn't keep on thrusting into her after that", i put a hand on my stomach, feeling it hurt after the giggling session.

"I did actually", he regains his position as sitting on the back of the couch with his arm extended, almost touching my shoulder

"You're a freak, what the fuck", Sam states and i agree with him. A few more questions pass by and Colby and i take around six shots. He does the outro and i wave at the camera, saying goodbye to the viewers.

"This was such a messy video", i say as i stand from the couch and feel a wave of dizziness hit me. I hold my temples withny palms and i feel Colby grab my arm gently.

"You ok? Need to sit down?", he asks worried while Sam was already out of the room, cleaning the room of cameras, wires and ring lights.

"I'm fine Colbs, don't worry. I just haven't drank in a while. Feeling tipsy.", i face him and he let's go of my arm.

"Yeah, same. I'm tipsy, not that i haven't drunk in a while", we both chuckle and i give him a sign to go to the kitchen to go grab a bite from the kitchen. "Pretty wild questions, right?", he asks while opening the fridge and grabbing a protein pudding.

"oh yeah, you name them, master of sex", i laugh while munching on some peanuts.

"Shut up, oh my God. How would you call me in bed, if not master of sex?", he extends his arms, acting like he deserves and owns the name. I bite my lip and think about it for a second.

"Colby."

"Yeah? You're already talking to me.", he takes a spoon and opens the pudding

"No, dumbass, i would call you by your name", i roll my eyes at him, amused. His eyes sparkle with interest.

"Why? Don't you like being called baby or babe? Babygirl, princess. I mean the guys who've made you cum before definitely used those pet names", he licks the spoon clean

"My pet names in the bedroom are not your concern, baby. And i just think it's so much hotter when you moan a name.", i pour a glass of water.

"By the way, who's the friend you've had a one night stand with? Was it so bad you don't want to make him feel bad?", he intertwines his fingers of both hands and looks me dead in the eyes. I narrow my eyes at him and copy his move.

"No, i want to keep him a secret so i can go to him whenever i need to feel good. He knows i love it when we moan our names", i sip on my glass. Colby shifts in his seat and i smile victoriously. He gets up and comes behind my back, putting his hands on my shoulders and rubbing my arms up and down, getting closer to my ear.

"So, you're telling me that he's better than me?", his voice is low. I get goosebumps down my spine. "I bet your name sounds better moaned by me", he pulls my hair to the side and i feel his hot breath on my skin. I turn my head to face him, millimeters away from his face. I smirk at him and he bites his lip, moving away from me. I get up from ny chair and lean back on the table with my ass pressing on the edge.

"You can be all giggly about the way i see hot and steamy sex in comparison to your ideal type of sex. At least i know i could call you better pet names than that.", i grab him by one of his hands and he raises an eyebrow, surprised. Colby takes a few steps until he meets me, a few inches away from me. "oh and", i grab the collar of his jacket, pulling him even closer to me, "i can definitely make up to you for that unpleasant blow job.", i smirk and bite my lip, Colby's eyes dropping to my mouth, licking his lips. He shakes his head and comes next to me, copying my position. A few seconds go by and i decide to leave, as i already have other plans for the day. As i step forward, Colby grabs me by my waist and glues my body to his, my back hitting his chest. I gasp when i feel his boner on my ass. He breaths heavily.

"How would you call me? When you're underneath me? While i pound in you like crazy.", his hand falls on my hips, his hot palm making my jeans and skin burn. A cry escapes my lips. "What was that, princess?", he turns me around so he could look me in the eyes. My face is burning and he notices is first hand. "Is it how you like to be called? Did my friend call you like that when you finished under him?". Colby is as hot and bothered as i am. His cheeks are reddish, his pupils are like he's on drugs and his lips look swollen, even of there was no kissing between us. The alcohol in our veins makes things worse and we both know that. I look down at him, his member being very visible even through his black jeans and poor light that comes through a small window. He takes off his jacket and let's it hit the floor. I put one hand behind his neck and the other one on the back of his head. I come closer to him, pressing my body firmly on his. His heart skips a beat while my crotch is touching his, desperate for more than this kind of touch. I lean towards his ears, talking softly.

"I didn't lie when i told you i would call you by your name. Imagine having me moan it so everyone knows who makes me feel this good. Imagine having me moan your name only for you, only because of you, anytime you'd fuck me.", i lean my head back to see hid reaction. His head was tilted back, eyes closed until i stopped talking. He needed - he wanted, what i was telling him. Not moving his head, he looks down at me. "And yes, in fact, i like to be called Princess.". My hands travel down his abs and i feel him flex under my touch. I bite my lip. I lift his tank top above his belly button and stare devilishly at his well defined muscles. I get on my knees in front of him, my eyes locked with his.

"This is such a dangerous game you're playing, y/n", he breaths heavily, his voice raspy as he's looking down at me, while i unbutton his pants. He exhales loudly as i take them down, tilting his head backwards. Through his black boxers i can barely see the wet spot caused by precum. I lick my lips as i take down his boxers and my eyes widen at the sight of his length and width. Not many have both and clearly i wasn't expecting for Colby to have both.

"Fuck", i curse, capturing Colby's attention

"Too big than what you're used to? Don't worry, you'll do great", he smirks at me and i gather all my hair on one side, but he's quick to help me with it, so he would hold it. I take his dick in my hand and give it a few strokes, having Colby a mess under my touch. I take the head in my mouth and suck on it, his body shaking. "Fuck, y/n. Don't be a devil.", he chuckles and i feel his hand on the back on my head pushing me forward. I do as I'm instructed and i take him in my mouth half of him and my hand compensates the rest. I start to bob my head and move my hand, while Colby is panting and buckling his hips forward. I take my hand away and only move my head, trying to get more of it into ny mouth. "Mmm, yeah", he groans and i push it a few times until it reaches my throat. Colby moans loud each time and i stop what I'm doing. I'm met by his foggy stare as he's coming down from his high moment.

"Colbs, love, keep it a bit quiet, we're not alone"

"i don't care even if they come and assist what's happening. I'm going to fucking enjoy your mouth", i gasp at his words and i nod, understanding that he's too turned on to spend his precious time talking about his heavenly moans. I take his member back into my mouth and bob my head faster this time, Colby's grip on my hair being harsher. I moan when he puts his other hand on the back of my head, holding it there for a better support. "Jesus, fuck princess", i moan again as the vibrations send him closer to the edge. "Please use your hand too, i'm so close", his head tilted back, eyes closed, flushed cheeks and hard as a rock, i obey and put my hand to work on the same movements as my mouth. "That's it, baby", i bob my head two more times and let out a moan, feeling Colby twitch and release his hot load into my mouth. His whole body shakes, while he keeps my head still so i wouldn't move too early. When he stops cuming, i easily take him out and move to the sink to spit it out. I clean the sink and wash my mouth with water, before looking back at Colby.

He's out of breath, sweaty and numb. He clearly enjoyed every bit of it and i smile widely. "How was it?"

Colby inhales deeply. "Unbelievable. Fuck, you feel so good.", he shakes his head and gets dressed. He comes next to me near the sink. "Kiss me", he demands, but leans in before i could make a move, but i instantly kiss him back. He puts his hands on my hips and pulls me closer to him. "You called me love. Weren't you supposed to call my name?", he smiles and bites his lip. I blush.

"I got carried away."

"So you were never in the moment with others", he analyses my face. I shake it no and he kisses me again and again.

"Not that you really care, but our appetites just went away", Sam points out from the doorframe. Colby laughs and i bury my face in his chest.

"I told you to be quiet", my words come out as muffled sounds and we all laugh once more.

#colby brock #sam and colby #colby brock imagine #colby brock smut

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oathkeeperoxas · 1 year

Text

Codywan rec list – fics I had open in my browser for 4+ months in 2022

Surely I’m not the only one who opens fics and then leaves them open for ungodly amounts of time before I read/comment on them... anyway I have cleared my browser out as a first act of 2023, and I am here to share with you some of the gems that I found there which deserve more appreciation 😤 please find several excellent codywan fics below!

Dream you not of broken men [38.9k] by aceofsuns

Clones are disappearing from the Imperial Army. CC-2224, haunted by the memories of the man he loved and killed, decides to investigate. Its a question of what exactly is up with the clones' medical examinations, what has happened to the missing troopers, and how CC-5052 is mixed up in all this. (Featuring Imperial Clone Commander CC-2224, Cody and Obi-Wan trying to navigate what they are to each other during the Clone Wars, and the clones doing the best they can to support each other despite everything else)

Only read this if you want to cry 👍 no but for real it messed me up in the besttttt way like oh my god this fic is so excellent in everything it sets out to do – the POV of an Imperial chipped Cody is so tense, and the flashbacks to the clone wars and codywan’s developing relationship will tear your heart out. Tragic codywan my beloved!!!!!!!!

Travelling at the Speed of Light [32.2k] by @anaclastic-azurite

Cody’s General has feelings for him. It’s not a problem. *** In which Cody spends the years of the Clone Wars dealing with things that are a problem, and then a little longer afterwards dealing with the things that are not. OR: A festering pile of loosely connected one-shots following the years of the Clone Wars, featuring (mostly) one-sided pining!Obi-Wan and Cody, who very much does not have the time to deal with his General’s shit on top of his own.

Honestly contender for favourite fic of last year, this one just has everythingggg the humour is packed in alongside the angst and the developing relationships so so well. I love slow burn codywan, and this delivered – the trust and the friendship between Cody and Obi-Wan in this feels so earned and so real, and makes the cumulation of their feelings at the end even more sweeter for it!

when our truth is burned from history [23.6k] by writerforlife

"'You are so good at protecting others, my dear, that you often forget to look after yourself.' Kenobi hesitates, then briefly, briefly enough that Cody thinks he has imagined it, squeezes Cody’s shoulder. 'I am not keen to leave you in the ice.'" Or: When a mission to a snow-and-ice-covered planet goes wrong, Cody and Obi-Wan are forced to flee across treacherous terrain with only each other for warmth. Along the way, they confront all the things they have been avoiding -- including their feelings.

Every cold weather trope you could want, plus a few more on the side! This has great prose and some juicy scenes to sink into, the hurt/comfort is exquisite and the set up for codywan and Cody’s character particularly is awesome

Good Man of War [16.2k] by @ooboowoonkoonooboo

During a medic’s first mission with the 212th, everything goes wrong. In the midst of it all, Cody deals with his growing feelings towards General Kenobi.

Very very good!! The mission here was very tense and the punches kept coming. Mind the gore/violence tags though, the author is very much not kidding about that, but I adored every OC in this fic, and loved loved loved how Cody was written in it!

The Raephens’ Gifts [8k] by @lttrsfrmlnrrgby

After the end of the Empire, after seeing the remaining clones and Jedi and a rebuilding Republic to something stable and close to real peace, Obi-Wan and Cody take some time away from their duties and take a vacation on a backwater planet in Wild Space to rest and recover. They sleep a lot, catch up on the last decade's books, go for long walks, and work to enjoy just being them, instead of Generals on whose shoulders the galaxy rests. They also make friends with some smart local birds.

A soft epilogue for my boys!!! I adore post-canon fics, and domestic established relationship, and healing and dealing with what happened in canon, and this is a fix it on top of all that deliciousness. Excellent prose and a unique set up finishes off this lovely treat.

deep in your marrow [2.7k] by @redminibike1

Huffing out a chuckle, Obi-Wan stood, moving across the small space to Cody’s cot and resting one knee on the mattress. Pressing his palms to the indented cheeks of Cody’s helmet, he sought out the catches, releasing them with a quiet hiss. “Head up,” he murmured. Obliging, Cody propped himself up on one elbow, blinking sleepily as Obi-Wan tugged the helmet up and off. “Hi,” he rasped, eyes warm and melting in the low light. Or: After a long and difficult campaign, Obi-Wan seeks out his commander. For Codywan Kiss Bingo 2022: kiss on the stomach/fingers/[redacted]/lips

Obi-Wan taking care of Cody hits soooo good, and this is a very soft get together that has lots of layers going on underneath. The contrast between how Obi-Wan deals with what he’s feeling and how Cody deals with what he’s feeling is sooooo much like oh okay I’m going to have shrimp emotions about this ship just thinking about it!

#codywan #fic recs #codywan fic recs #thank you beloved authors for my many stories i love you

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mazuriri · 8 months

Text

4.1 archon quest

I'm continuing my thread on Lyney x traveller as I'd promised to do another analysis if they interact together in the future (and I write here because I've run out of space to put photos in the other thread).

＊ Fontaine quest Act 4 :

In this quest, they meet again ✨ Of course they were not ready to see each other especially in prison but it shocks more for the traveller since they will not understand why Lyney is here in the first place since they managed to defend him.

(Every time they meet , it's always ‘’awkward’’ but it makes it even more funny personally, like here, I laughed when they looked at each other with surprise as they weren't ready to see each other in prison lol.)

Lyney explains how they ended up in prison but the traveller knows that they are not here just because of that.. or more importantly : ‘Why are YOU doing here?’ They suspect that he is hiding something else but I don't think they are angry with him like last time at the trial. Lyney understands and decides to tell them everything, it’s pretty cute how he no longer wants to hide secrets from the traveller because he doesn’t want to hurt them again (so I suppose it affected him pretty much, poor guy…) but even if he says he will say everything, I still have the feeling that he will hide something from them at some point, still we all want to trust him and we know that he doesn’t have bad intentions, it’s already been ‘’proven’’.

★ Fun fact : Lyney JP VA even said that ''Lyney doesn't have the desire to betray or deceive the traveller''.

(He doesn’t want to hurt or make the traveller angry aww….)

This is where Lyney has a suggestion : he asks the traveller if they would like to team up with them. You will think that it is ‘normal’ he asks this so that it would be more efficient for their objective (Tartaglia + secrets) even if we can find it shady at first. However, there is another reason why he wants them to team up (I will explain later) but the traveller refuses because even if they have "reconciled" in Lyney's story quest, it doesn’t mean that they completely trust him. They want to trust him but they hesitate, preferring to remain on their guard. We already know that they work with Arlecchino and her goal is to capture the gnosis but we still don’t know what is her real goal. Again, don’t blame the traveller : their reaction and action are understandable, you should already understand until now.

-> Imagine : you became friends with someone where you had a good time together even if it was just for a short time and you already trust him but right after, they lied to you as they were part of an ‘evil’ organisation that somehow traumatised you and where you had the most difficult times. Even if they don’t have bad intentions, they shouldn’t have deceived you, besides that doesn’t mean you can completely trust them after what happened even if you became friends again.

So, Lyney thought about trying to find another way to convince them (he won’t force them if the traveller really doesn’t want to). You may think that he is trying to do this to advance in their research but there is another reason too. He is not wrong because it would be more effective if they cooperate to share information afterwards but more importantly : Lyney also wants to get closer to the traveller and try understand them a little better.

(And I like how he ‘quickly’ changed the subject from Arlecchino to team up. He really wants to get closer to the them huh?)

Here, Lynette says ‘’See? I told you’’. Does that mean that Lyney had been ready to ask them this question for a while? Like he spent his whole day thinking about how he was going to approach them? He told Lynette about it but it turns out that she wasn’t sure that they would accept? Or, did Lyney feel that the traveller was going to refuse but still wanted to try, ignoring Lynette’s answer?

I love when Lynette ‘really’ makes us understand how Lyney feels towards the traveller, to the point that it makes him embarrassed (as he rubs his head and looking in all directions). She really decided to end this situation so that Lyney could stop thinking too much like an idiot lol. We already know that Lyney is always trying to reach an understanding with them and he can no longer hide his feelings when Lynette is here lolol. This guy was all confident in front of the traveller but when his sister tells us how he felt about them, he becomes all shy and embarrassed lmaoo

No one can change my mind that : LYNETTE SUPPORTS LYNEY X TRAVELLER 🫵 she even said that he should open up a little => he should express his feelings more openly if he wants to get closer to them. (Something like : ‘’Come on brother, don’t be a coward and tell them how you feel.’’)

Yeah, so basically he had the feeling and knew that the traveller was going to refuse but still tried lol, but hey it’s better to try than to do nothing. Plus, he was prepared so I was wondering what he might have been thinking to prepare for the worst. That is why he didn't really react when the traveller refused, which means he was ready for their answer but when they ‘’agreed’’ to cooperate with him, it rather surprised Lyney because he wasn’t really ready for them to accept ‘’so easily’’ because according to him, he thought he still had to think about how to convince them (it would take time). But look at him, we can notice that he knows the traveller remains vigilant but is still happy that they have agreed to work for them since basically, it was a bit part of his plan to get closer to them and he knows very well that they agreed to have more information on Tartaglia of course.

—————————————————————

A few days later, they meet again to give news on their investigation.

We can see that they work well as a team and do their best to look for information about the place. I find that the traveller is starting to ‘’open up ‘’ to Lyney and are ready to communicate together as soon as they can. Anyway, before leaving on their own for a new mission, Lyney tells them to be very careful and that security always comes first but it is just after he realises that he used to talk like that to his siblings. I like it here because the options here are different and have different answers, this is where we have a cute little moment where the traveller asks if they were the big brother/sister instead? Basically: ‘’Would it change anything if I was older instead? Will you see me in the same way or otherwise?’’

I leave your imagination to this conversation but I find it kinda cute that Lyney thinks like that of them, it means that he already see them as his ‘family’ (he will confirm that later)

—————————————————————

Once again, Lyney is grateful to the traveller for their help, he knows very well that the only problem in their relationship is their identity. The traveller helps the twins because they care and see them as a ‘friend’, as I already said : even if they’re still hesitant and vigilant towards them, it doesn’t mean they don’t care about them, in the contrary, the twins are already in the traveler’s heart in some way. I also think that’s where the traveller start to change their point of view towards them : their relationship is gradually starting to recover, knowing that they pretty much know that Lyney and the siblings care for them, which is sweet.

(‘’As long as it comes from you’’ - I love this sentence, Lyney really trusts the traveller when he doesn’t trust people easily normally.)

——————————————————

So later, Lynette and Freminet were captured by Wriothesley. Of course, it drives Lyney in rage as he is really worried about his siblings because he doesn’t know what’s going to happen to them. If you notice correctly, the traveller will have a lot of thoughts towards Lyney. They understand why he’s acting like this, that’s why they keep describing Lyney’s face and know what he’s thinking. If you still think that they don’t care about him and his siblings, then you’re wrong. In this quest, it will ‘’clarify’’ all the misunderstandings of what happened in the trial. The traveller will notice that Lyney cares a lot about his siblings as we can really see that he is sincere to save them. They will also notice that Lyney was ready to give himself to Wriothesley if only he releases Lynette, this is also where it touched the traveller in my opinion.

They stopped Wriothesley to help Lyney who was very hesitating. I would like to make it clear : the traveller cares for the siblings and they want to save Lynette and Freminet. ‘’ Why would they want to save them? They don’t care about them at all.’’ I don’t know you tell me? Stop saying that the traveller doesn’t care about them at all. Move on, I will not repeat myself since I have already explained in my previous thread.

During the investigation, they got along well together and helped each other when they crossed paths (also because working as a team is pleasant.) However, it is true that the traveller wanted to work with them just to have more informations but they ended up enjoying the teamwork. Besides, they have talked about themselves during the investigation : the traveller will notice that the twins are sincere and do not look for the bad side of things (they will also see that the siblings really care for each other which the traveller can understand this feeling). All this will change the feelings of the traveller. They ended up ‘’trusting’’ them in this quest, they really ‘reconciled’ as this will lead to a new kind of friendship ✨

Of course, I think the traveller will still remain on their guard but at least in this quest, it has clarified suspicions and misunderstandings they had in their relation (especially with Lyney) because now, after everything that happened between Wriothesley and Lyney, the traveller begins to « understand » Lyney as they ended up caring for him (and the others) for real and will not hesitate to work with them in the future, I guess they really enjoyed working with them.

Yeah the traveller doesn’t care about Lyney. So why do they ask him if he’s okay? Since all this time, they had a lot of thoughts describing Lyney’s face and everything? Of course everyone can do that but what I mean is: even by having thoughts about him, they really understand why he acts this way and make sure to take care of Lyney who was about to lose his mind. If the traveller didn’t care about him, then why do they often ask if he’s okay? Why have a lot of thought about him while observing him? They were even relieved that he was feeling better now after reuniting with his siblings. Yeah, they still don’t care about him at all~

After meeting Arlecchino, the traveller decides to tell the siblings about it. They remain suspicious of her but Lyney reassures them that ‘everything’ is fine that they should not worry. Even if at first, he was surprised because he didn’t think their 'Father' would be happy to work with the traveller. But I really like how happy and excited Lyney got when they told him that Arlecchino was looking forward to working with them in future. I mean I get it why he’s happy but why though lol? Sorry, i just found this funny and cute at the same time because it’s like : ‘’Wow Father approves them, that means I can spend time/work with them in the future!’’

I can’t help but find it cute because his goal was to get closer to them when he has the opportunity and when Arlecchino said she would be happy to work with the traveller, that allowed Lyney to have a chance with them lol.

I love this: Lyney is someone who does not open up and trusts others easily. And here, for him to say that he considers the traveller as a family is really important for Lyney’s character. At first, I thought he friend zoned them but when I reread, I understood what he meant by that. For him, family has another meaning too : being part of his family means someone he desires to protect, it’s something that can give him the right to get closer to the traveller. I guess he meant that he has ‘special feelings’ and would protect them as he protects his own family.

( Tho, I also think that as a marriage proposal LMAO : Being part of the family = let’s get married 😂)

But also the fact that they spent little time together, Lyney always has an attachment to the traveller. It’s incredible how this magicien who tells lies and doesn't open up easily to the others, has opened up to he traveller, where they still ‘’barely’’ knew each other. Still, the traveller helped and defended them until the end so I can understand why Lyney began to ‘’open up’’ to them and same for the traveller thanks for 4.1 quest.

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wolfsbane-if · 1 year

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How would the characters (childhood friend!Garamond, Harlow, Katja, Pamina, and Calder) react if the MC died before they could be turned? Would this change their demeanor in the long-term?

Ooooh, what a question! Answered under the cut because it got real long:

While everyone mentioned would be saddened by the MC's passing, a childhood friends Garamond would be hit the hardest, no question. They've endured a lot in their life but losing the MC, the one person who's been by their side for the entirety of it, would leave them absolutely gutted and distraught. Their relationship with their father has been strained ever since their mother's death so, as far as Garamond is concerned, the MC is their family. Their pack. While I believe Garamond is persistent enough to eventually carry on with life in the wake of the MC's passing, it would definitely take them a great deal of time to come to terms with it and find their feet again, and they would have trouble welcoming new people into their life going forward. They would likely retire from being a Wolfsbane immediately and lead an unfocused, directionless life for a time afterwards, wondering if it was their fault the MC died, and if they could have done something differently to save them.

A Garamond who joined the MC more recently would feel similarly in a lot of ways. While lacking the childhood history with the MC, they're still extremely close now, and likewise view the MC as their family. Having had some experience living and working alone in the time before meeting the MC, this Garamond would likely try to return to said lifestyle and continue hunting independently in the MC's honour, but grief would make them reckless and the lack of a partner to assist them would quickly see Garamond in over their head. If the monsters didn't get them eventually, other hunters probably would.

These are all things that the MC could probably guess would happen, knowing Garamond as they do. In the part I'm writing now, the MC has a chance to explain why they went through with being turned as opposed to accepting their death, and one of the possible motivations the reader can choose is that it was for Garamond's sake.

Harlow would also take the loss of the MC rather hard, despite only having known them for a short time. For the first time in 15 years, Harlow felt as though they had a chance to be something more than they were, and the MC was largely responsible for facilitating that. To not only lose that source of hope and optimism, but to feel personally responsible for failing to protect the MC in the events leading up to their death, would be a struggle.

It's here that I imagine a divergence: a childhood friends Garamond, alone for the first time in their life, would be far more eager to remain at Harlow's side and seek comfort in their presence as the only other person present during the MC's final moments. While the rapport between them is still in its infancy, I could see the MC's passing serving to strengthen the bond between them significantly, and the two of them might continue on working together in the MC's honour at Harlow's suggestion, or at least remain together for a time to offer each other support. A non-childhood friends Garamond would feel less of a need for companionship immediately following the MC's death, and with the person that had initially brought them together now gone, Harlow and Garamond would likely part ways.

Pamina and Calder would both be upset to learn of the MC's death too, of course; especially if the MC had spent time studying magic in their home. Having never had children of their own, they see the MC as a surrogate family member in some ways and want nothing but the best for them. Pamina, having been the one to ask the MC to go to Evenshire in the first place, would feel personally responsible for their death as well. The two of them would carry on together, but there would be days where they would briefly wonder when the MC would be coming for their next visit before remembering that such a thing can no longer happen.

And Katja, finally, would initially take the news very hard. Similarly to Harlow, the MC has touched her life in a very significant way despite only knowing them for a short time, and she would always remember them as the person who saved her. She already has dreams of mastering her magic and showing the MC her progress as she continues to study under Pamina, so she would grow up owing them a debt of gratitude and keenly feeling their absence. She would consider naming her first dog after them.

#leftski answers #wolfsbane character questions #character: garamond #character: harlow #character: katja #character: pamina and calder

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61a7ax22 · 4 months

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Ghosts of the past

Content: death, grieving leon, mentions of vomit, gross misuse of the word "crying" and the word's synonyms, ghost dreams, Leon failed to save Ashley AU, Leon and Ashley being friends beforehand AU

(This is the first installment in this AU, please feel free to give me criticism as I do not write a lot of fanfics.)

Leon's hands trembled as through blurry eyes, he watched the backend veins in his hands pulse.

He looked to Ashley, or what had remained of her, he felt the bile come forth from his stomach full of raw fish and eggs depositing onto the chicken shit covered ground. He had been so close. So, so close to saving her. He had failed he had failed he had failed he had failed her, he had failed his country and he had failed himself.

The coughing and weezing that had happened shortly after the vomiting episode that looking at his slaughtered friend had endused made his lungs burn. A choppy sob moistened his dehydrated dirty face, and he clutched his side in anguish and moved to her corpse, cradling her head. Her eyes once so lively, now opened in rigamortis.

How long had he been out? How long had she been alive begging for him to wake up with her last breaths? Was she even able to call for him? Her cooled blood stained his clothing, mixed with his hot tears and he clutched onto her with all of him.

---------------------------------‐--‐-‐-----------------------

The rescue was hardly so. A half dead man desperately clinging to the remains of a dead woman was a hard sight for the helicopter operators to see. Any moment of trying to get him to let go of her remains was met with an almost animalistic protection of the corpse. Sobs broke through the pilot's headphones almost every moment of ride back home, and when they finally got 'home,' the corpse was separated from his arms did Leon finally quiet. His body shook softly.

They'd known each other for roughly a year before her kidnapping. He had blamed himself, a night off he had taken to celebrate a promotion. Maybe that's why he got so lost in killing everyone of those bastards that even made her yelp with fear. Maybe if he hadn't - Maybe if he had been more level-headed, separated his relationship from the rescue, she would still be alive.

The questions were the worst part, having to tell so many people who looked up to him as an example of how he had failed so horribly to protect her. He had to look at her body again to explain every cut and bruise he could recall. They wouldn't stop asking questions even when his sobs clouded his words. To look her father in his eyes as he had to explain why his daughter had died. The hurt of the hug that had happened afterward. Feeling the fingers of a broken father clutch the back of his finest suit in agony as he had tried desperately not to acuse the man his daughter once called her best friend of being the reason she was dead.

The sleepless nights clouded his head as if he were actually dreaming of being awake. The dark bags under his eyes and the alcohol bottles that contained a liquid almost to the same color of his yellowing used-to-be white shirt. It's then when he first saw her in his beer endused nap, the first one in weeks he had claimed to himself.

Her blurry face focusing into the woman she was, wearing that damn coat he had lost that fucking damned day. He ran to her stopping inches to her face as he didn't want to hug her, to grasp onto her just for her to be gone. He cried silently looking at her face.

"Leon." Her calling of his name was short and simple her arms opened as she enclosed the distance between them as a fuzzy hug warmed what had been cold since her death.

"Ashley." He sobbed as his arms grabbed onto her. It felt real- too real. His body shook as the feeling of remorse, regret and udder despair had washed away from him for just a moment.

"Leon." This time his name was whispered before letting go of the hug, he had harder bared it and tried to cling onto the remains but failed. "I-ive been trying to-" Her face went blurry again and when it had focused she looked worried for a moment and grabbed onto his hand as if they were as a shopping mall again, as he was about to buy her a treat.

"I've been trying to tell you. It's okay- it's not your fault you had-" her voice had become fuzzy this time. He couldn't make out the rest of her words but she smiled at him with wet eyes when her static was finished being spoken.

Maybe it was that pang he had felt realizing how much he had missed that smile. His hand entertwined with hers, almost knowing this was a goodbye.

"I'll see you again." Then first clear words in a while had come from her mouth, and leon buried himself in them as his warm dream had broken from himself. He woke up to that damnned room and was crying, his hands wrapped around air. He grasped at his own hands and covered his face.

He took his first shower in a while. The grime leaveing his body with every pelt of those artificial raindrops from the shower head. When he stepped out of the shower, he looked to the fuzzy mirror and held back the urge to punch it.

"I'm gonna see you again." He mumbled to himself as he swallowed the urge.

"I promise."

#resident evil #leon kennedy resident evil #ashley graham resident evil #61a7ax22ghostofthepastau #leon kennedy fanfic #ashley graham fanfic #resident evil fanfiction #angst #ghosts dreams for plot devices #im not very good at writing and apologize in advance

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severussquick · 7 months

Note

For the Snape asks: 4,7, and 34 please. 😁

4. Do you think Snape remained a virgin?

Yes.

I shall elaborate: I absolutely do not think that Snape had sex at school, he was pretty young before SWM so that's statistically unlikely, and then afterwards he's been pantsed in front of the whole school and then made a laughing stock of himself by begging Lily to forgive him and being rejected. This is a humongous, public humiliation and social suicide. He would have been completely untouchable after this, the most pathetic person in the school. So no, nobody would have slept with him before he graduated.

Afterwards, he's got the choice of paying, random encounters, or death eaters. Paying and random encounters require a personality that is willing to go out and meet people and engage in small talk, even just a little. This is demonstrably not Snape. And the death eaters would not want him, he's a half blood, the only half blood death eater. He's still untouchable in this company.

Once he becomes a spy the risk that someone might, however erroneously, try and get to him through an intimate acquaintance is just too high for him to contemplate.

I just cannot realistically see him prioritizing this, given what we see of his lack of self-indulgence in every other area.

7. Which staff member do you think gets along well with Snape?

So this is a very specific question. I fully do not believe any of them were his friends (no, not even Minerva, they were friendly but not friends). But the question is who got along well with him.

In terms of lack of friction, that is, never really arguing, I think it's Filch. They have similar goals: make the students behave. And similar attitudes: fuck them kids. So I reckon they mostly had very banal interactions and never any real animosity once Filch remembered Snape was staff now and stopped trying to put him in detention for being out after curfew.

34. Do you have any Snape NOTPs?

Hahahaha. Yes. All of them.

I mean not really but also yes kind of?

So definitely all marauder/Snape ships are NOTP to me. Which isn't to say I'll never read them, and good writing makes up for a lot, but that's not Snape. That's some other guy.

I find snarry and snamione to be the most tolerable of all Snape ships because the characters are malleable enough that the character growth required for them to be plausibly in a relationship with Snape and that not be horrible for Snape is still possible. But on the other hand, he's been a shitty horrible teacher to them, very recently, so it's just kinda uhhh... Hard work?

My base position is that none of the canon characters are good enough for him. Which is to say that I need to be convinced in the story for the ship to work at all for me.

Oh man these three really make it sound like I like Snape the way a collector loves action figures: untouched and alone in a box forever. This is.... Not true. I adore reading romances with Snape, I'm just super picky and easily frustrated.

#ask #severus snape #and here we get slightly more controversial. lol #thanks for the ask!!

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nachitoesmuybonito · 1 year

Text

Okay, so! I don't do stuff like this often because, frankly, I don't like my own writing (story writing, anyway, I'm more or less fine when writing for roleplay; weird, right?). But, I wanted to add a little something for the @lachowedding2023 event, because I love Lacho.

A ton of love goes out to @chocopinda for the absolutely wonderful inspiration and encouragement! No way I could have done this at all without you and your ideas! <3

Questions or comments can be left here or on my other blog @insanityofvaas and you can find the piece (a tiny thing) below.

Cold Feet

It's really happening. This is the day. The wedding. His wedding.

Oh, God.

The thought makes Nacho’s head spin again. How did it come to this? …Okay, no. He obviously knows how he got here. He and Lalo had joked about it one evening while having drinks. It'd been fun. Nothing serious.

Then it came up again, and again.

It became something they talked about more seriously. What it would be like to go through with it. What life would be like. Nothing would change significantly aside from having a title, really. It was still fun. It was like being transported back to childhood, one of those youthful moments where two kids would share their biggest dreams for the future and make a promise that they’d one day come true.

The rest just fell into place.

He and Lalo began planning. Legitimately planning. Where to hold the event. Who they should invite. What to eat. What to wear. The perfect place to have a big party afterward. The honeymoon; that one was more Lalo than him, but that should come as a surprise to no one. Regardless, all of it was meticulously discussed between them down to the finest detail, and then finalized.

Nacho was on board for the whole thing, naturally. Despite how a lot of his friends and his father feel about Lalo, Nacho likes him. He loves him. It’s absolutely true that they had a rough beginning. Nacho has never denied how much he disliked Lalo at the start. He was a Salamanca and every Salamanca prior to him had been bad news, not to mention bad for his health. So, so many days he’d wanted nothing more than Lalo to be gone, be that back to Mexico or, in extreme cases, dead. In his defense, Lalo can be really fucking obnoxious. Nacho still has more days than he can count where, if looks could kill, Lalo would be a distant memory. But you don’t talk about marriage, joking or otherwise, let alone plan a wedding without there being something real. Love.

That’s how it came to this.

Nacho remains in what feels like a deep fog even when it’s time to begin. It’s a strange state of being present, but also completely on auto-pilot. He’s distantly aware of all the people around as he walks down the aisle; those final steps before it’s all said and done. His dad is present. His friends. Lalo’s friends and family, too. Lalo himself is just up ahead, waiting, smiling in that same stupid way that he always does; as confident as ever, as if the world isn’t about to change for them.

The vows follow. Lalo goes first, because of course he would. Nacho keeps his eyes on the older man all the while, yet his mind continues to race. He looks focused despite how badly he wants to turn and run. This feeling has come up several times, the overwhelming urge to just get in his car and go without saying a word. That’s what they call cold feet, right? It’s awful. He counts himself lucky that vows were another thing they discussed at length. If they come up later, his ass is covered.

His turn follows and he prays that he doesn’t look like a deer caught in headlights for several seconds before he begins to speak. More words that he knows by heart, words that he searched the depths of his soul to find. Oddly, with each that passes his lips, he feels some of the apprehension and fear melt away. Each word is another reminder of every single thing that Lalo makes him feel: desired, loved, safe, protected and so much more. Each word, while perhaps not as blatantly, is both a confession and promise that, yes, he feels all of those things for Lalo, too.

Nacho misses the moment that counts the ceremony as finalized, but he doesn’t miss the one where Lalo kisses him. It tells him everything far better than any words: this was the right thing to do. This is where he wants to be. It’s okay to have had cold feet, to have doubted. It’s okay to be afraid, because this is a new chapter of life and new things can be terrifying. Nacho throws his arms around Lalo’s neck and he hopes, maybe he even prays, that the older man can feel every last thing that he’s feeling now.

This was the right thing to do. He’s exactly where he belongs.

–FIN–

#lachowedding2023 #nacho varga #lalo salamanca #better call saul #i hate my writing

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phyllisthefirst · 6 months

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New adventures for George and Phyllis!

As always, this fic is entirely about the fictionalized representations of the men of Easy Company that we see on the show. I mean no disrespect to the real men by writing this.

[Masterlist] [on ao3]

No tired sigh, no rolling eye, no irony - Part 4

Winter passes by quickly now that Phyllis has made some friends, the cold staved off by talks over tea and dances in crowded pubs and dance halls, and the war feels very far away even if it is the reason they’re all here. But while the men are training to kill and her nurse friends are training to save them and she’s busy trying to make sure they all have everything they need for their tasks, as soon as they meet on the evenings and weekends, all thoughts of that are pushed aside, helped along with alcohol and music.

Phyllis has never felt so young, so alive, or so at home amongst her peers. Back home, she never really fit in with other people her age - her head was too filled with all the things she wanted to do at her father’s company to take much of an interest in her female friends’ endeavors at getting married and having children, while all the other young men at her father’s office expected her to want the same thing and thought she was only biding her time at work.

Here, none of what they did and wanted before matters. They’re all here for one common purpose, even if they go about it differently.

George’s prediction that first night at the pub remains true: They do indeed become fast friends, spurred along by George’s efforts at coaxing her to come out with him and the Easy Boys, and soon they find that in between dancing and playing darts and joking around with their friends, they get to talking just as easily, about their families back home and the plans they’d made before all this and sometimes, on very rare occasions, the things they want to do after.

It’s Phyllis who brings it up one evening, when they’re tucked in a dark corner of the pub, side-by-side on a bench and looking out at their friends’ antics while comfortably sipping their beers. Earlier, she heard some of the men singing that gruesome song about all the ways a Paratrooper can die, and while she knows the men need this kind of detached cynicism for what they’re about to go through, she can never quite shake the unease it stirs in her. She needs something to remind herself that not all of them will end up squashed on the floor or tangled in their suspension lines. Some - many, all of them, she hopes - will get to go home and live long, different lives after this. She has to believe that.

“What I want to do after?” George repeats her question. “Bit of a dangerous thing to think about, isn’t it? “

“Perhaps, if you’re superstitious. I think it’s important to think about it. I mean, what else are we in this war for it not to make sure there’s a better future afterwards?”

George looks at her the way he does sometimes, like he froze in place and needs a moment to thaw out again.

“Yeah, I guess.” He takes a sip of his beer, stares into it as if the answer lay at the bottom of the glass. “I don’t know, I haven’t really thought much about it.” He hesitates, his face taking on a vulnerable expression she’s rarely seen. “I guess I didn’t think much about the future before, either. I dropped out of school and worked to support my family - didn’t seem like there was much more of a future to plan.”

He sounds lost, nothing like the confident, charming loudmouth she first met, and suddenly Phyllis wants nothing more than to put her arm around him, this bighearted young man who doesn’t seem to have done anything just for himself in his life.

She doesn’t, doesn’t dare cross that line and make him think she pities him, doesn’t want him to find out how different her own childhood was and think her a spoiled little rich girl. She isn’t, at least not rich rich - her father’s business recovered from the Great Depression somehow, but it’s only for the past few years that it’s been doing more than just barely staying afloat. Still, nothing in her life compares to the hardships in George’s.

“What about you?”, he tears her out of her thoughts. “What’s in the cards for you - taking over your father’s business? Or getting married and having kids?”

She sighs.

“Why must there always be an “or”? Can’t I do both?”

She startles when the words slip out. Usually, she keeps them to herself - too often has she been laughed at for wanting such ridiculous things, or scolded for wanting so much all for herself, when other women don’t even get to choose. But tonight, she’s at the stage of drunkenness where one gets a little mopey and overly philosophical and much too honest.

But George doesn’t laugh, doesn’t scold. He nods thoughtfully as he looks at her, his bright eyes even brighter somehow.

“You should. You should get to do all of that and more.” The fierceness with which he declares it makes something inside of her feel warm and happy, and she sits and lets it wash over her for a moment, that feeling, before she reaches out and lays a hand on George’s arm.

“You’re a good friend, George. The best.”

There’s a beat of silence, and before she knows what’s happening, George’s arm is around her shoulder and she’s squashed into his side, her cheek pressed against the insignia on his sleeve. It’s a little uncomfortable and still the best feeling in the world.

“And you deserve the best, Miss Phyllis.”

There’s something different about his voice, the usual hint of laughter notably absent, but before she can figure out what it is, something has brushed the top of her head and he’s let go of her again, allowing her to straighten up and scooch away to regain some semblance of decorum. She casts a quick, nervous glance around, but no one seems to be watching them, everyone else too engrossed in their drinking, talking, flirting and betting.

“So,” George drawls, and at once sounds like himself again, “that future husband of yours - any particular qualities he’s got to have?”

Phyllis promptly chokes on the sip of beer she’s just taken.

Once the coughing and sputtering is done with, she hopes he'll have forgotten about the question - but no such luck.

“Well? What’ll it take to sweep Phyllis Baker off her feet?”

She ponders it for a moment - it's not like she hasn't thought about it before, what with the rate her girlfriends from school have started finding husbands lately, varying wildly in quality in Phyllis’ opinion.

“I think most of all I want someone who sees and respects me as an equal.”

“That's all?” George asks, astonished, and she doesn't have the heart to tell him that that seems difficult enough. “Come on, you have to want other things - tall, dark and handsome? Rich perhaps? Someone who will take you to fancy restaurants and stuff?”

She shakes her head vigorously.

“No. I just want someone who listens to me and doesn't think it's a personal insult if I want to keep working. I don't care about fancy restaurants.”

“Why wouldn't you get to keep working?”

“Plenty of men don't want their wives to work. None of my girlfriends do, they're all expected to stay home and keep the house in order, even if they don't have kids yet.” She cocks her head to the side. “I mean, don't you want a wife who's got dinner ready when you come home from work?”

George shrugs.

“Sure I'd like that, if she's got the time. If not, I can whip up some scrambled eggs myself.”

Phyllis laughs.

“How very modern of you.” Then something occurs to her. “Really though, what are you looking for in a woman?”

“I don't know. I guess just someone who’s sweet and kind and likes me for me, not as a last resort because there are no more tall, dark and handsome rich men left over.”

“Well, why wouldn't someone want you for you?”, Phyllis exclaims, appalled that he could even think something like this.

George's face darkens.

“You'd be surprised.”

Phyllis feels uncomfortable suddenly, perhaps because it's the first time George has shown this kind of insecurity and she didn't even know he had it in him. She doesn't like it - someone like him should never doubt his worth like that.

“I think you're plenty handsome, even if you're not tall!”, she exclaims, realizing too late that it's perhaps not as much as a compliment as she intended it to be.

But George, after a moment of surprise, laughs out loud.

“Thanks, I guess.” Then he jumps to his feet and holds out his hand. “Come on, that’s enough moping. Let's dance.”

So they dance, even though they're perhaps a little too drunk, and before the night is over, all thoughts of potential wives and husbands are chased off again.

***

Reality catches up to them in early summer.

There’s been a feeling of something brewing for a while - more and longer drills and field exercises, hushed discussions between the officers, and Phyllis’ reports on increasingly large supply shipments. All of these point to one thing: They’re about to join the war, and soon.

Still, when they’re first briefed on “Operation Overlord - Timing: H Hour, D Day”, it still feels like being dunked in cold water.

This is it, then - their long-awaited entrance into one of the bloodiest wars in history.

Once the news has set in and they’ve all taken a moment to grapple with it - some men through stoic silence, some through overblown bravado and some, like George, by making nervous jokes - a flurry of activity sets in. There are letters home to write, G.I. life insurance forms to fill out, instructions for personal effects to leave with close friends, and of course, sweethearts to say goodbye to, for those who have found a sweetheart, fling, or other kind of romance this side of the Atlantic.

Somehow, this last part of their somewhat morbid last chores turns out to be the most difficult. It doesn’t take him all that long to write a letter home - longer than usual, with one individual message to each of his siblings, just in case it turns out to be his last letter ever. Filling out the life insurance form is done quickly as well, mostly because Lip keeps nagging them to do it. He instructs Tab which of his few worldly possessions are supposed to go to his family and which should be divided amongst his friends. In under a day, George has taken care of practically his entire life. There’s only one loose end left - and he has no idea what to do about it.

The thing is, he doesn’t actually have a sweetheart, neither at home nor in England.

But… he does have someone he cares about, as a friend if not more. The only problem is that he isn’t sure she knows just how much she means to him, isn’t sure she even wants to know.

George still remembers clearly Phyllis’ first outing to the pub, her passionate claim that she’s not interested in romance and doesn’t want to be bothered by the attentions of a suitor. And he’s taken those words to heart, has made sure not to overdo it with the flirting, hasn’t made any attempts to make their relationship a romantic one, and has generally just tried to be a good friend. And that, he has found, is not a bad thing to be: Phyllis, despite her occasional awkwardness, is smart and interesting and easy to talk to, and he always enjoys spending time with her even if it isn’t in the same way his friends spend time with women they’ve met in England, kissing in dark corners and sneaking into barns, sheds or the occasional bedroom for a secret tryst. And the thing is, while he certainly wouldn’t be averse to doing those kinds of things with her, he’s also not completely unhappy with the kind of relationship they do have.

But now, with the reality of war setting in, he can’t help but wonder: Should he at least tell her how he feels? Tradition seems to dictate it, as portrayed in so many of the movies about men going off to fight in glorious wars.. After all, what better time for a man to confess his feelings to a woman than on the actual eve of war?

But apart from following tradition, what would he be hoping to achieve? A confession of feelings might seem to her like he’s trying to push her towards the very kind of relationship she doesn’t want. At the end of the day, it would serve only himself - to unload the weight of his feelings just in case he’ll never get a chance to do so again. It would be a deeply selfish thing to do, and so he decides not to do it.

So, on what they have to assume is their last evening out, George meets Phyllis and her friends at the pub as usual. They talk and drink and dance, and neither of them brings up what they both know lies ahead. Instead, George makes it his mission to make her laugh as often as possible because this, he decides, is what he wants to take with him when he jumps into enemy territory: The sound of her laughter, the way her smile lights up her entire face and chases away that carefully constructed mask of strict professionalism, the soft curve of her waist under his hand when they’re dancing. It’s going to have to be enough for the coming days and weeks, because he won’t be so selfish as to ask for more.

***

Phyllis has never used her job for private means, to gain access or information she wouldn’t otherwise have. She’s perhaps told George and her friends about developments that have been casting their shadows at battalion HQ, but only when they weren’t classified or sensitive.

Today, for the first time ever, she’s breaking that rule. H Hour, D Day is approaching - overdue actually, with the jump into Normandy already postponed once - and Phyllis is feeling restless.

She won’t be jumping in with the men, of course, hasn’t had a day of training for it. No, if all goes well, she’ll follow them across the channel on a transport ship with other noncombatants and additional supplies as soon as the landing forces have secured the coastline. Which means, once her friends - because that’s what they’ve become, George and his Easy Company boys - board those planes, there will be days, perhaps weeks of danger before she has a chance of seeing them again. Some, she might not ever see again.

And it’s this thought that has kept her up half the night. They’ve spent their official last evening together, at the pub as always, drinking and dancing and laughing and trying to pretend like nothing out of the ordinary is about to happen. And on the one hand, maybe that was exactly the right thing to do, because maybe if they don’t act like D-Day will change everything then it won’t.

But if it does change things, if it does take some of the lives that have become so dear to her, then maybe acting as if everything was fine was exactly the wrong thing to do.

Because there’s one life in particular that has become more than dear to her, one person she calls not just a friend but perhaps her best friend here, and she suddenly can’t tell if he knows just how important he is - but judging by what she’s seen so far of George’s tendency to undervalue himself, she has a suspicion that he doesn’t.

And suddenly, with the mental image of all the deaths the men keep laying out in that horrible song, that seems like a grave oversight on her part.

Which brings her here, to Upottery airfield, on a day when really, the only people on that airfield should be pilots, air and ground crews and paratroopers, and she should be at HQ minding the telephones in case any news comes in. Instead, she’s made up some excuse about possibly mislabelled supplies - something that will come back later to damage her reputation and make her life more difficult, she has no doubt - and all but hijacked a jeep to drive to the airfield herself, consequences be damned.

Luckily, the chaos is so great that no one pays her any attention, and she makes her way onto the airfield without any difficulties, weaving her way through the throngs of men struggling with their heavy equipment, putting on greasepaint or reading and writing last-second letters.

It’s difficult to identify the men with their faces smeared in black grease, but luckily, George’s voice carries, and she hears him before she’s even spotted him. He’s joking around, as usual, but the jokes come with an underlying note of seriousness that tells her how hard he has to try to keep it light.

She waves to Easy Company friends she recognises in passing but doesn’t stop to talk, too focused now on her goal. Ignoring the raised eyebrows and elbow-nudges, she plows on until she comes to a stop in front of George, who does a surprised double-take when he sees her, before breaking out in his familiar broad smile.

“Phyllis! I didn’t think I’d see you again before the jump.”

“I’m not supposed to be here.”

“Oh?” The cheshire-cat-grin she expected is already sneaking onto his face, but she doesn’t give him time to gloat.

“I wanted to say goodbye, and to wish you good luck.”

“We said goodbye at the pub the other night.”

“But we were terribly drunk, and I didn’t get a chance to tell you…” She notices how many of the men around are carefully acting like they aren’t listening to every word and pulls him a few steps away. “I wanted to tell you that I’m really glad you’re my friend.”

It comes out sounding exactly as awkward as she hoped it wouldn’t, and she cringes.

“I mean to say…” She takes a deep breath. This is difficult, of course it is, but she has to say it, for him. “You’re really important. To me, and to all of your friends. So watch out and take care of yourself, alright?”

There, that came out right, didn’t it? Surely George understood that, understood how much she means it?

But George mainly looks dazed and she wonders if her words really got through to him yet or if it will take more.

She’s not going to kiss him - that’s such a cliché , the expected thing for a man and a woman to do in this situation when they’ve been courting. But they haven’t been courting, they aren’t sweethearts or lovers or any such thing (even if she has sometimes wondered what that would be like). They’re more .

So instead, she pulls him in for a hug, awkward because of all the gear already strapped to him, and leans close to whisper in his ear:

“Stay safe. Come back. You have to come back.”

George’s arms come up to tighten around her lower back, and while she had planned to step back after saying her piece, she allows herself to linger for another heartbeat, and another, and another, before she reminds herself that they have an audience and pulls back.

There, she thinks, now the message must have come through. She smiles at George, blinking rapidly before the sudden burning in her eyes can turn into tears, then she turns and walks away.

She hasn’t made it more than a few steps before the men begin to loudly declare their opinions on the encounter.

“Aww, poor George - not even a kiss from his lady friend!”, someone teases, and Phyllis freezes in place. That is what they made of this? She gathered all her courage to tell him how important he is, and his friends manage to cheapen it to some sort of consolidation prize just because she didn’t follow it up with a clichéd kiss - as if the words weren’t a thousand times more difficult than a kiss would have been.

Men and their tendency to misunderstand everything.

But if that tendency will fall back onto George and lead him to think less of himself, again… Well, she can’t have that.

She turns on her heels, strides back the few steps she just made, grabs him by the collar, and plants a quick, hard kiss on his lips.

The silence that reigns for a few moments is immensely satisfying.

By the time the men begin reacting in their usual boisterous manner, cat-calls and whistles, jeers and exaggerated claps on the shoulder for George, she’s almost to her jeep. Somehow, she doesn’t feel as embarrassed as she should - she feels lighter and stronger for having allowed herself this moment of courage, and before she drives off, she even turns back to George and his friends for a cheerful wink and a wave.

She makes it back to battalion HQ without a hitch and almost thinks she got away with her little outing, until she runs into one of the secretaries, a woman newly transferred here whom she’s just started tentatively befriending.

The woman looks at her for just one second, grins and pulls a compact mirror out of her desk drawer.

“You’ve got grease paint on your cheek,” she says and throws her the mirror with a wink. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell.”

#band of brothers #band of brothers fic #george luz x oc #band of brothers fanfic #my writing #aaand now I'm getting nervous about ridiculous details like the grease paint. was it called grease paint? or camouflage paint? aaagh #george luz

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azurish · 2 years

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Pyrrha Dve and Pyrrha of Thessaly: Survivors of the Flood

“If I’m God, I can start over. The flood, you know? You can wash things clean. That’s all the end of Earth was … making things clean.” --Nona the Ninth, p. 435

“You want Gideon the First, and Gideon the First is dead. He’s not coming back. Oh, God, Gideon,” said Pyrrha, suddenly. “Gideon … G—, you died for nothing.” --Nona the Ninth, p. 390

tl;dr: Pyrrha Dve shares a name with Pyrrha of Thessaly, one of the only two survivors of Zeus’s great deluge in Greek myth, which might connect to why Pyrrha alone seems to remember G1deon’s real name from before Jod’s “flood.” Unpacking this allusion brings to light other suggestive parallels between the two Pyrrhas’ stories, including:

Zeus and Jod’s destruction of the Earth with the intent to replace flawed humanity with a new, pious version of humankind who would worship them as gods

how the Greek Pyrrha survives without Zeus’s knowledge by hiding in her husband’s “chest” (sound like someone we know?)

Pyrrha of Thessaly’s role in repopulating Earth by disturbing her “mother” Gaia’s grave and casting her bones (aka stones) to the ground, from which arose the new human beings (who else disturbs “Earth’s” Tomb?)

and some other more out-there parallels, including a connection to the tower in the River; some thoughts on Zeus, Jod, and cannibalism; a verrrry tangential connection between Pyrrha and Gideon Nav; and thoughts on other survivors

So, following the release of Nona the Ninth, we’re now all familiar with Jod’s conception of the end of the Earth as a literalization of the flood myth with him as God. Afterwards, he claims he brought back all his friends without their memories – and, based on his discussion of renaming Ulysses and Titania and the fact that the Lyctors’ old names are all dashed out, many of us have assumed with new names. But somehow, Pyrrha Dve seems to remember her necromancer’s original name. What’s going on with that?

I don’t have an explanation, but I do have a very interesting parallel, which is almost entirely not the same thing while still justifying writing meta! :P (I mean, if you’re looking for an explanation, my best guess is that Jod talks about altering memory through changing the brain’s biological structures, suggesting that the soul still remains a blind spot of his. Pyrrha no longer has her physical corporation/brain and is solely existing in Gideon’s body, so maybe there’s something there? Soul memories, idk lol.)

Lots of past meta I’ve seen about Pyrrha Dve’s name has focused on Pyrrhus of Epirus, who gave his name to the term “Pyrrhic victory”: a victory whose losses were so severe as to call into question whether such a “victory” was really worth it at all. On that reading, Pyrrha’s name is a nod to how attaining Lyctorhood was a Pyrrhic victory for Gideon and the other Lyctors, because they had to sacrifice their most beloved companions (brother, wife, best friend, etc.) to achieve this “lesser”/imperfect Lyctorhood. I’ve also definitely seen people point out how the name Pyrrha itself comes from the Greek adjective “πυρρός”, which can mean flame-colored or redheaded: clearly apt for our girl/my wife Pyrrha. I think all of that is right, and also I think tazmuir was drawing on yet another mythological parallel for Pyrrha’s name: that of Pyrrha of Thessaly, survivor of the Flood.

Pyrrha of Thessaly and Pyrrha Dve

In Greek myth (well, more or less, depending on the version – I’m quoting Dryden’s Ovid here, so Roman reception, but I’ll stick with Zeus to make things easier), Zeus decides to wipe the Earth clean after judging humanity irredeemable. When he shares this plan, the other gods immediately complain that, should he destroy humankind, “Neglected altars must no longer smoke,/If none were left to worship, and invoke.” Interestingly, he immediately reassures them: “Lay that unnecessary fear aside:/Mine be the care, new people to provide./I will from wondrous principles ordain/A race unlike the first, and try my skill again.” In other words, after the cleansing flood, he’s going to create a new crop humanity to worship him and his pantheon at those neglected altars … sound like anyone we know yet?

However! Two humans survive Zeus’s deluge: Deucalion, ruler of Phthia in Thessaly, and his wife Pyrrha. Here’s where it gets especially intriguing, because depending on the version you read, this Greek Noah and his wife survive for different reasons! Ovid’s Metamorphoses has them surviving because they’re the two best people around – the most holy, upright, worthy, etc. But in other accounts, such as that in the Bibliotheca of Pseudo-Apollodorus, they actually sort of sneak past Zeus. Deucalion’s father is the Titan Prometheus (whom you may remember from other Zeus-defying escapades like “giving humanity fire”), and Prometheus instructs Deucalion on how to build and provision a chest that will survive the flood. Thus, when Zeus goes to destroy humanity, Pyrrha survives inside Deucalion’s chest until the flood ends and the two reach dry land and propitiate Zeus. (OK, so it’s an actual physical wooden trunk, BUT ALSO Pyrrha survives by hiding in her husband’s chest I’m just saying.)

After surviving, the two ask the gods (usually Zeus through an intermediary) how to repopulate the planet. They are told to “throw … your mighty mother’s bones” to the ground – a suggestion that horrifies Pyrrha, who refuses to defile her mother’s grave, crying out, “Forbid it Heav’n, said she, that I shou’d tear/Those holy reliques from the sepulcher” (we’re back to quoting Ovid here btw). But after carefully pondering their instructions, they find a different meaning: perhaps, Deucalion suggests, “This Earth our mighty mother is, the stones/In her capacious body, are her bones.” So they gather up “Gaia’s bones”, i.e. rocks from the ground, and when they cast those stones behind them, new human beings spring up from where they fall.

Pyrrha’s calling Gaia her mother, her disturbing Gaia’s remains from their “sepulcher,” and Gaia’s “bones” repopulating the Earth are all very interesting! It probably goes without saying that there’s a Gaia-Alecto connection here (in fact, I think you could even say John makes that connection fully textual when he calls himself John Gaius, if you read it as a Lyctoral name). I read the Greek Pyrrha’s identifying Gaia as her mother as a neat inversion of the parental relationship between Pyrrha and Nona (note that in the myth, Gaia isn’t Pyrrha’s actual mother – that’s Pandora, while her dad is Prometheus’s brother, Epimetheus (which technically makes Gaia her paternal great-grandmother)). Our Pyrrha is, obviously, involved in unearthing (heh) Alecto’s body from the Tomb, just as the Greek Pyrrha felt she was being called to disturb her mother/Gaia’s resting place.

Alecto the Ninth Speculation: Gaia’s Bones and the Resurrection

All of the above I think is reasonably textually supported, but with the last “parallel” – the repopulation of the planet from Gaia’s bones – I’m going to step off the deep end, lol, and move away from literary analysis of existing parts of TLT to pure speculation about the future. First off, the key caveat is that, obviously, I don’t think Tamsyn Muir is trying to write a literal beat for beat version of the Greek flood myth with Pyrrha Dve, so I think the actual likeliest explanation here is that the actual limit of Pyrrha Dve’s connection to Pyrrha of Thessaly is just that both (sort of) survived their respective divine “floods.” But I do have a couple thoughts about directions that “Gaia’s bones” and the resurrection could point at, which I’ll list roughly from most to least likely; and I’m also interested in hearing others’ ideas.

I think this parallel could pay off in one of two directions: either the Resurrection in the past or something in the future, in Alecto, involving a collaboration between Nona/Alecto and Pyrrha. In the past, we obviously don’t know yet how the Resurrection actually went – John’s confession in Harrow’s Alecto-dreams didn’t extend that far – but it’s easier to speculate (and to pick out speculative parallels). It certainly seems apparent that Jod’s going to be majorly drawing on Alecto’s power to do it – just as Zeus claimed he was creating a whole new crop of humanity to worship him, but was actually digging up Gaia’s bones to make the magic happen. Making bodies from earth and stones is a classic mythic motif, so I don’t think the Pyrrha flood myth is necessarily being referenced here, but there sure is something neat about John’s making Alecto’s body “from the dirt, my blood, my vomit, my bone.” Beyond that, some versions of the Greek flood myth suggest that humanity’s nature was changed by being reborn from stones, with Ovid writing, “Hence we derive our nature; born to bear/Laborious life; and harden’d into care” (the Greeks were generally huge fans of the pun possibilities between λαός (people) and λᾶας (stone)). You could maybe connect that to the suggestion that there seems to be something slightly off in Jod’s new version of people – the sickliness that affects necromancers? (I don’t think that’s quite right, though, because you’d expect stones to be harder, not brittler and easier to break.)

But the myth isn’t just about how Zeus uses Gaia’s bones to resurrect humanity – it’s also about how Pyrrha and her partner (Deucalion/G1deon) bring back humanity. Maybe the importance of Deucalion in revitalizing humanity via Gaia could pay off if it turns out G1deon has a key role in the Resurrection (Jod keeps talking about how he has “big plans” for Gideon’s arm, and he even says that “G—’ll be easiest” to bring back, although in context I think he just means that he won’t have to wipe as much of his memory because he wasn’t even at the compound)? I think that’s a reach, though, and that the arm is just important so he has biomaterial on hand (lol). But the reachiest possible connection here is to say that maybe Pyrrha’s going to play a role in some future Resurrection: something in Alecto the Ninth that resolves Jod’s “missing math” (the people he didn’t bring back, possibly the souls clogging up the river?) and brings more people back, or brings back people “correctly.” Certainly, in terms of any role Pyrrha could play in collaborating with Alecto/Gaia in something like a resurrection or rebirth of humanity in the next novel, it’s worth noting that she is now strongest remaining link from Alecto back to Nona, with all of Nona’s compassion and love.

Remaining Errata

OK, that’s all for immediate parallels from the meat of the Greek flood myth! But there are some remaining pieces of the myth that caught my attention, so those get to go at the end of this piece of meta.

The Tower

Whatever’s going on with the massive new Tower in the River is obviously going to be important! I have a LOT of thoughts about this, but that is for another meta. What I’ll say here is that, while I think the clearest reference there is to the Tower of Babel (what with Nona being the only person who can still understand all languages), another famous mytho-religious tower-y structure often identified with the Tower of Babel is the towering pile of mountains that the Greek Giants built to reach the gods when they tried to challenge Zeus et al. Per Ovid, observing the Giants’ building this tower was one of the things that made Zeus despair at the current state of the world and decide to set off the flood that Pyrrha survived in the first place.

Cannibalism

Other reasons Zeus was angry enough to flood the earth: eating human flesh! One of the impieties that drove Zeus to damn the first version of humanity was King Lycaon daring to test whether Zeus was truly omnipotent by serving him human flesh. Go on, dive in, I know y’all are thinking of that bit in Harrow where Jod says, “Ten thousand years since I’ve eaten human being, Harrow, and I didn’t really want an encore.”

Gideon Nav as Pyrrha Dve’s Achilles?

Finally, Phthia, which Deucalion and Pyrrha ruled, was later Achilles’s home. You could possibly say something here about our Pyrrha and G1deon as not-parents to Gideon, who ~invaded~ the planet of Priamhark Noniusvianus, just as Achilles invaded the city of Priam in the Trojan War. I think that’s probably squinting too hard, buttttt you could still make the case. Also, that takes us full circle back to the other Pyrrhus that Pyrrha could be named for, because Plutarch seems to suggest that Pyrrhus (he of the Pyrrhic victory) got his name from family tradition because Deucalion and Pyrrha were the first rulers after the flood in Epirus.

Other Flood survivors?

OK, I have no idea what to do with this piece, but obviously Pyrrha isn’t the only potential “survivor” of Jod’s “flood” – the fleeing trillionaires (or potentially other human outposts?), etc. Similarly, some versions of the Greek flood myth suggest that in addition to Pyrrha and Deucalion, a few other humans slip through, such as Cerambus, grandson of Poseidon. This seems kind of tangential, but hey, if someone named “Cerambus” shows up in AtN and seems to know a lot about Earth without Jod’s blessing, we should probably listen to him! ;)

Sources

Ovid’s Metamorphoses The Pseudo-Apollodorus Other Greek and Roman flood accounts overview Pyrrha and Deucalion in Greek and Roman writing On Pyrrha, Deucalion, stones, and puns

#tlt meta #pyrrha dve #john gaius #nona the nonth #alecto the ninth #gideon the first #alecto the first #nona #alecto speculation #nona the ninth spoilers #ntn spoilers #the locked tomb #the locked tomb meta #meta #pyrrha of thessaly #i have no idea what else to tag this. huh.#locked tomb

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