Piggybacking off this post I made last night, but I think two things can be true at once:

Being diagnosed or undiagnosed can both be disadvantages. Neither a state of diagnosis nor undiagnosis can be more "beneficial" because both can be harmful dependent on the situation. We need to be open to the possibility that a diagnosis can be helpful, harmful, a mix, or neither, and not having a diagnosis can also be helpful, harmful, a mix, or neither.

Basically, disability is complex. We live in an ableist world that simultaneously demands disabled people adhere to strict standards but also just not exist in the first place. It's hard enough to navigate diagnosis, and making it harder is only going to harm us, not abled people. They don't care about the intricacies of disability, more often than not.

Feel free to ignore this because I’m sure you’re well beyond tired of “ace discourse” at this point but I’m curious if you’ve seen the recent studies claiming that asexuals are more likely to be offered conversion therapy than LGBT people, and if you have any thoughts on it?

Means absolutely nothing to me because in this context... it's clear no one involved knows what the term "conversion therapy" means, as aces have been watering down the term for almost a decade now, making it to mean "any attempt to change your sexuality" which has ALSO been watered down to mean "any ace being asked if they have depression, sexual trauma, or possibly a hormonal condition and if they want treatment for that."

Conversion therapy (in the context of sexuality, not gender which is similar but not identical, though it often involves sexuality based CT as well) is a fairly specific thing--it involves some authoritative figure (a "therapist," a priest, an "ex gay guru") trying to do two things--erase same gender attraction, often through forcing the person to associate it with shame/pain/disgust/nausea, and to force them to act as it they experience "correct" attraction.

Conversion therapy is often viewed as "successful" if only the first step is complete. As in, the person comes out unable to enjoy/experience/recognize their same gender attraction. They could go the rest of their life celibate, not dating, not marrying and it is successful enough. Best case scenario, they can marry someone of the "right" gender, MAYBE have sex, MAYBE have kids but... the lack of tangible gayness is enough. (NO, I am not saying conversion "therapists" want people to identify as asexual or aromantic, just that they don't mind if gay and bisexual people feel NO attraction/desires when they are done with them.)

Understanding conversion therapy is about destroying sexual attraction, romantic attraction in gay and bisexual people means it is impossible to link up with anti-ace "conversion therapy." There is none. There is no organization or group vying for people to experience sexual attraction in that way. Who are tormenting, abusing people into feeling attraction.

This is especially obvious when you realize... that the argument because "There are organizations that want gay and bisexual asexuals to experience sexual attraction." Run by who? Where? What are they doing to force gay people to want to have sex?

Like... is this just for straight aces then? Can you name a single group in the world that believes in conversion therapy that WANTS gay sexual desires? Gay romantic desire?

So, conversion therapy for aces doesn't exist. Not any systemic level. Are aces being abused, harassed via rape culture? Sure but that isn't conversion therapy.

What aces often claim is the hypothetical "HSDD diagnosis, which Ive debunked as aphobia... years ago.

Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder is a SUDDEN LOSS of sexual attraction COMBINED with DISTRESS at said sudden loss. The DSM EXPLICITLY has an exception for lifelong HSDD--if you have never experienced sexual attraction, no one cares. If you experience DISTRESS at lack of *libido*, doctors may offer exploring potential help on that front... and counseling to accept that maybe you never will.

There is no forced, coercive treatment. If you experience sudden loss of sexual desires (LIBIDO, NOT ATTRACTION), they may test for depression, hormonal changes, cancer, and other potential causes... if you want them to. You're offered counseling for the distress.

HSDD is the type of shit men get viagra for.

Surveys like this are suggesting being prescribed viagra is conversion therapy.

Honestly, the fact that the survey is about conversion therapy being OFFERED, when often it is a COERCIVE practice against minors or vulnerable adults in faith settings, is kinda all the proof you need that what they are discussing is not conversion therapy.

But rather an uncomfortable moment at the doctors where the doctor asks questions they don't like, just to rule out potential health issues.

ANYWAYS ANY ATTEMPT TO ARGUE WITH ME WILL JUST BE MET WITH MY TARGET WISHLIST. I ALSO DON'T WANT ANONS AGREEING WITH ME. I WANT THIS TO BE ONE AND DONE POST

You Can Beat This: Cancer Tips And Advice

Jean-Francois Geschwind Proficient tips provider.When we encounter bad things and big problems in our lives, we can drive ourselves mad if we do not have an outlet for expression. At the very least, we need some help coping with issues from time to time. This is definitely true with cancer. Here are some great tips for helping you to cope with the news that you have cancer.

Vitamin C is a natural enemy to cancer. Vitamin C tricks tumors into thinking they are getting sugar, which cancer cells feed on. When cancer uses vitamin C as an energy source, The vitamin begins to destroy cancer cells, thus slowing down their multiplication. In turn, the growth of tumors can be slowed down.

Melanoma, or skin cancer, is one very common and deadly form of cancer. Try putting on a hate to help keep your face out of the sun.

It is important to work as much as possible while you are battling cancer. Many people are able to work their regular jobs even while they are getting treatments for their cancer. It is possible to live a very normal life with cancer as long as you try to live normally.

Following your cancer diagnosis, try to keep your life as normal as possible. You may need to make some changes, but a consistent routine will help you feel more like yourself. Since your plans may need to be altered at the drop of a hat, take each day as it comes and enjoy it.

If a family member is suffering from cancer, you should always attend any doctors appointments with them. Having a person in the room with a clearer head is great for asking any questions and addressing concerns you might have for the doctor.

Always work hard to gather information if someone you love has cancer. They might not be in the right frame of mind to soak up the information about what they can do to handle the disease. But you should be at full attention in order to take in and retain this information. It's important that you gather as much as possible.

Beans are incredibly good for your heart, but they're also essential in preventing cancer, especially colon cancer. The amount of fiber contained in beans and legumes will help to rid the body of free radicals via the fiber and also the saponins, phytic acid and protease inhibitors contained within the beans.

Beating cancer may require a little bit of luck, but you cannot allow yourself to rely on being lucky in order to beat it. In other words, you should never really expect miracles or for some experimental treatment to instantly cure you. Luck may play a role, but you should focus on putting in the effort to defeat cancer.

For women, a mammogram is a great way to prevent breast cancer. A regularly schedule mammogram allows doctors to detect any lumps in breast tissue. Lumps in the breast tissue are a possible sign of breast cancer. Self breast exams should also be performed by women at home.

If you are concerned about the possibility of being exposed to cancer-causing chemicals, try to stay away from stain and grease eliminating products. These items have flourochemicals, and they are often found in products that help you clean your carpets and couches. They are also prevalent in the greaseproof coatings for fast foods.

Mood swings and other similar symptoms are natural for those suffering from cancer. Knowing this can help you prepare for what you will encounter if you or a loved one are suffering with cancer.

Jean-Francois Geschwind Proficient tips provider.Tell the truth to friends and family as soon as possible. Hiding your condition will just make you feel even more alone, removing your support system and making your health suffer. Talking honestly about what is going on will help strengthen the connections between you and those you love.

Beware of the sun even on cloud covered days. The harmful rays of the sun are still making their way through the clouds and to your skin. Keep sunscreen applied even if you do not feel the heat of the sunrays. They are still causing the damage that they would if there was not a cloud in the sky.

In order to prevent skin cancer, try not to stay out in the sun for too long. If you are going to be out in the sun for a long time, make sure to wear sunscreen. Many cases of skin cancers could have been prevented had people protected their skin from the sun.

If you are the parent of a child who has leukemia or another kind of cancer, it is important that you put on a brave front. Your child feeds off of your energy and by letting them see you sad, they are going to feel helpless. However, it is still important that you try to explain to them what is going on.

While you have cancer it is of dire importance that you keep yourself healthy. The best way to do this is by protecting yourself from germs. The best way is to stay on top of germs by using a disinfectant on every surface others touch. Be especially mindful of things such as door knobs, toilets, sinks, and telephones.

Find a great support system if you are diagnosed with cancer. This can be from family and friends or through organizations dedicated to helping a person through this traumatic process. If you find that some people in your life are toxic rather than helpful, it is best to limit the time you spend with those people.

Do not fight your doctor when he offers you some good pain killers. There is no reason for you to have to suffer with the many wonderful drugs that are on the market these days that will make you more comfortable. If your doctor gives you one and you are not feeling better, ask for something different.

Jean-Francois Geschwind Top service provider.If you have contracted cancer or if someone you care about, has it, every question you have about the disease suddenly becomes incredibly important. You need urgent answers and you need accurate information. Make sure you use the tips you've read in this article to help you out, if ever the time comes.

Every little thing You Need to Know About Diabetes mellitus

Diabetic issues types

Diabetes mellitus, frequently called diabetic issues, is a metabolic disease that creates high blood sugar. The hormone insulin moves sugar from the blood into your cells to be kept or used for energy. 

With diabetes, your body either does not make sufficient insulin or can not successfully utilize the insulin it does make.

Without treatment high blood sugar from diabetic issues can damage your nerves, eyes, kidneys, and various other organs and earthomaya .

There are a few various sorts of diabetic issues:

Kind 1 diabetes is an autoimmune illness. The immune system strikes as well as destroys cells in the pancreas, where insulin is made. It's uncertain what causes this assault. Regarding 10 percent of people with diabetes have this type.

Kind 2 diabetes occurs when your body ends up being immune to insulin, and also sugar develops in your blood.

Prediabetes occurs when your blood sugar is higher than normal, yet it's not high enough for a diagnosis of type 2 diabetes mellitus

Gestational diabetes mellitus is high blood sugar level during pregnancy. Insulin-blocking hormones generated by the placenta create this kind of diabetes.

A rare condition called diabetes mellitus insipidus is not related to diabetes mellitus, although it has a similar name. It's a different condition in which your kidneys remove way too much fluid from your body.

Each sort of diabetes has unique signs and symptoms, triggers, as well as therapies. Learn more regarding exactly how these kinds differ from one another and more post .

Signs and symptoms of diabetes.

Diabetes signs are brought on by increasing blood sugar level.

General signs

The basic signs and symptoms of diabetic issues include:

boosted hunger

boosted thirst

weight reduction

regular peeing

blurred vision

severe fatigue

sores that do not heal

Symptoms in guys

Along with the general signs of diabetic issues, guys with diabetic issues might have a reduced sex drive, erectile dysfunction (ED), and also bad muscle stamina.

Symptoms in ladies

Ladies with diabetes can also have signs and symptoms such as urinary tract infections, yeast infections, and also completely dry, scratchy skin.

Kind 1 diabetes mellitus

Signs and symptoms of type 1 diabetic issues can include:

extreme cravings

increased thirst

unintended weight loss

frequent peeing

blurred vision

exhaustion

It might likewise lead to mood adjustments.

Kind 2 diabetes mellitus

Symptoms of kind 2 diabetes mellitus can include:

increased cravings

enhanced thirst

enhanced peeing

fuzzy vision

fatigue

sores that are sluggish to recover

It may additionally create repeating infections. This is since raised sugar levels make it harder for the body to recover and diabetes .

Gestational diabetic issues

A lot of women with gestational diabetes do not have any kind of signs. The condition is usually spotted throughout a routine blood sugar level test or dental sugar tolerance test that is normally performed in between the 24th as well as 28th weeks of pregnancy.

In unusual instances, a lady with gestational diabetes mellitus will also experience enhanced thirst or peeing.

The bottom line

Diabetes mellitus signs can be so light that they're hard to identify at first. Discover which indicators should prompt a journey to the doctor.

Reasons for diabetes

Various causes are connected with each sort of diabetes

Kind 1 diabetes

Doctors do not know exactly what creates type 1 diabetes Somehow, the immune system mistakenly strikes as well as ruins insulin-producing beta cells in the pancreatic.

Genetics may contribute in some people. It's also possible that a virus sets off the immune system attack.

Type 2 diabetes.

Kind 2 diabetes mellitus originates from a mix of genes and also way of life factors. Being overweight or obese increases your threat too. Carrying additional weight, specifically in your stomach, makes your cells extra immune to the results of insulin on your blood glucose.

This problem runs in families. Relative share genes that make them most likely to get type 2 diabetes as well as to be obese.

Gestational diabetes mellitus.

Gestational diabetes is the outcome of hormonal modifications during pregnancy. The placenta generates hormonal agents that make an expectant woman's cells less sensitive to the results of insulin. This can trigger high blood sugar level during pregnancy.

Women who are obese when they obtain pregnant or that get too much weight during their maternity are most likely to obtain gestational diabetes mellitus.

The bottom line

Both genes and also environmental variables contribute in causing diabetic issues. Get more details right here on the reasons for diabetes.

Diabetes threat aspects

Particular factors boost your threat for diabetes mellitus

Type 1 diabetes

You're more likely to obtain type 1 diabetes mellitus if you're a youngster or teenager, you have a parent or sibling with the problem, or you carry particular genes that are linked to the illness.

Type 2 diabetes.

Your danger for type 2 diabetic issues increases if you:

are overweight

are age 45 or older

have a parent or brother or sister with the condition

aren't literally energetic

have actually had gestational diabetes mellitus

have prediabetes

have hypertension, high cholesterol, or high triglycerides

have African American, Hispanic or Latino American, Alaska Native, Pacific Islander, American Indian, or Oriental American origins

Gestational diabetes mellitus

Your threat for gestational diabetes mellitus boosts if you:

are overweight

are over age 25

had gestational diabetes throughout a past maternity

have actually brought to life an infant evaluating greater than 9 pounds

have a family history of kind 2 diabetes

have polycystic ovary disorder (PCOS).

The bottom line.

Your household, setting, and also preexisting medical problems can all impact your odds of developing diabetic issues. Discover which risks you can manage and which ones you can not.

Can a regular blood test detect HIV?

A routine blood test is a complete blood count, or CBC, which counts red and white blood cells, hemoglobin, and other blood components. This test can detect anemia, infection and potentially blood cancer.

Another typical blood test is the basic metabolic panel, which examines blood glucose, calcium, and electrolyte levels to see how well the heart, kidneys, and liver are working. To determine your risk of developing heart disease, you can have a lipoprotein test, which examines the fats in your blood, including good cholesterol (HDL), bad cholesterol (LDL), and triglycerides.

A complete understanding of your blood test results can help you make smart decisions about your diet and lifestyle.

What information does a blood test reveal?

Specific blood tests can help your doctor determine the function of various organs in your body. Organs such as the thyroid, liver, or kidneys are examples of organs whose abnormalities can be detected by a blood test.

Additionally, your doctor may use blood tests to look for indicators of diseases and health problems, such as:

Diabetes

HIV

anemia

cancer

coronary artery cardiovascular disease

Even if someone does not have heart disease, a blood test can determine if they are at risk.

Other blood tests can determine if your medications are working properly or how well your blood is clotting.

HIV is a lentivirus that causes HIV infection and, over time, acquired immunodeficiency syndrome (AIDS) (AIDS). AIDS is a human disease in which the immune system gradually weakens, allowing life-threatening infections and malignant tumors to proliferate. People infected with HIV typically live between 9 and 11 years, depending on the HIV subtype.

According to the WHO, approximately 34-40 million people worldwide are living with HIV (human immunodeficiency virus) and nearly 30% of people are living with undiagnosed HIV and unwittingly spreading the infection. The only way to find out if you have HIV is to get tested. To be safe, everyone between the ages of 13 and 64 should get at least one HIV test as part of their regular health care.

HIV is transmitted primarily through multiple sexual partners, sharing needles and blood with HIV-positive people, and vaginal and rectal secretions. It is not shared through direct contact, such as shaking hands, exchanging food or toilet seats, or similar activities.

HIV infection goes through three stages.

Acute HIV infection is the initial stage of HIV infection that occurs within two to four weeks of infection.

The second stage of HIV infection is chronic infection, during which the virus continues to grow in the body, but at low levels.

Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome (AIDS) is the terminal stage of infection when the immune system is destroyed.

HIV infection progresses in stages and gets worse over time without treatment. It completely kills the immune system and eventually leads to AIDS. Therefore, it is essential to seek a diagnosis during the early stages of infection.

How is the HIV test done?

The HIV test determines whether you are HIV positive or not. Asking for an HIV test is essential because it protects you and others. It can detect HIV infection, but does not tell how long a person has been infected.

Blood tests are the gold standard for diagnosing HIV. Antibodies are produced by the body in response to HIV infection and can be detected by blood tests. However, these tests cannot identify HIV in the blood immediately after infection because your body needs time to create these antibodies (usually 2-8 weeks, sometimes even 6 months).

HIV diagnosis

Blood tests are the most widely used method for diagnosing HIV. These tests are used to detect the antibodies against the virus that the body produces to fight it.

People exposed to the virus should get tested quickly, as it can take six weeks to a year for the body to make antibodies against the virus. Follow-up testing may be required depending on the length of initial exposure.

Early stage testing is essential. If you test positive for HIV, you and your doctor will discuss and develop a treatment plan that will help you fight the infection and avoid its consequences. Additionally, early testing can alert you to avoid high-risk behaviors that could spread the virus to others.

Most health professionals offer HIV testing, often accompanied by appropriate counseling. In addition, anonymous and free tests are provided. Your doctor will ask you about your symptoms, medical history, and risk factors, and perform a physical exam.

HIV and AIDS tests

The main tests for HIV and AIDS are:

ELISA test The enzyme immunoassay, or ELISA, is used to identify HIV infection. When an ELISA test is positive, a Western blot test is usually used to confirm the diagnosis. If an ELISA test is negative but you suspect you have HIV, you should be tested again in one to three months. Although the ELISA is extremely sensitive to chronic HIV infection because antibodies do not form immediately after infection, your result may be negative for a few weeks or months. Even if you test negative during this time, you may still have a high viral load and be at risk of transmitting infections.

Home Tests The only home test that has been approved by the US Food and Drug Administration is the Home Access Express test, which is available at pharmacies.

Saliva tests Saliva is collected from the inside of the cheek with a cotton ball. The buffer is placed in a vial and tested. A blood test should be done to confirm positive results.

Viral load test This test determines the level of HIV infection in your blood. It is usually used to monitor the course of HIV treatment or to detect early HIV infection. Three technologies are used to determine HIV viral load in the blood: reverse transcription polymerase chain reaction (RT-PCR), branched DNA (bDNA), and nucleic acid sequence-based amplification ( NASBA). These tests are similar in their basic ideas. HIV is detected by DNA sequences that precisely match those found in the virus. It is essential to note that results may differ from exam to exam.

Western Blot This is a sensitive blood test used to confirm the result of an ELISA test.

bro i been thinking abt that (the one up there that one great post big fan) post theorizing that dennis is meant to be a twist on the “jim halpert” kind of a leading man thats standard on sitcoms. and how all the characters are like that yanno? historically successful, funny, and loved tv tropes put into an unforgiving and realistic world? like it’s even funnier when you think about how it’s almost as if the gang (ESP Den) /knows/ that they should be getting rewarded for all their antics and scheming. that’s what happens on tv. on tv jim knew from day one that he was the man for pam, he /knew/ he’d get her and (so) he /did/! he didn’t even have to try!! but in philly dennis “knows” that he’s the man for (caylee, mac, literally anyone) but it comes off as creepy not charming thus hes often rejected and humiliated.

dee is the female voice of reason (yeah ik the origin of kaitlins dee shut up let me talk), and yet her schemes and beliefs are just as titled as the boys. now look at this: lisa simpsons job wasnt to actually convince her dad or brother that their idea was dangerous. lisa’s job was to call attention to just how fucking stupid the male leads r. plus she’s a chick and implicit lesbo so she doubles as a punching bag. just like dee. cept dee isn’t super smart or musically inclined, the only thing she really has going for her is the gang. and the fact that she’s probably the best off in terms of not destroying her own life. which lets her have this unearned sense of superiority similar to dennis’ because she ~knows~ that she’s the voice of reason. what she doesn’t know is why even after she’s proven that that’s not who she WANTS to be anymore the guys still refuse to treat her like a real member of the gang even though she so obviously is. even tho the guys know she’s just as good (bad) as they are. lisa simpson, the chick from seinfeld, and lois griffin are all fine and good and are funny because deep down lois CHOSE to marry peter, lisa explicitly LOVES her family DESPITE their flaws. but dee is UNLOVED. there’s no point in her being there other than to contradict, not cos she necessarily wants to but the gang actively avoids giving her attention for anything else. so now you’ve got the voice of reason trope desperately trying to prove their own unreasonableness in an attempt to be liked. the boys resist. she acts up. they give her enough of a nod for her to stay for another drink. meanwhile the gang is getting into increasingly stupid and dangerous schemes because the voice of reason prefers not being shit on. almost like how a real person would react to being forced into that position. huh.

charlie and mac r sort of make up one; they’re the gang (ik ik) they’re dennis’ gang. the chandler and the other one. the “leading mans” sidekicks who are happy to go along with whatever plan, happy to let him get the girl, happy to remind him of how perfect he is when he’s down. (which obviously mac and charlie are NOT happy about ANY of that and HATE that dennis treats them like they are.) It’s also maybe important to note that usually the “leader” of the group is the one who brought the three friends together. dennis just crashed mac and charlie’s twosome one day and never left. mac and charlie support dennis but only out of annoyance or in macs case sometimes something deeper. either way, it’s out of trope. really they shouldn’t be able to function without dennis telling them how to. but at this point it seems like they’re better off without him around.

but charlie is also his own trope. Cause the thing is…charlie works as a lovable goofball, the slob with a heart of gold, socially awkward sure but deep down he wouldn’t hurt a fly. except. he would hurt a fly. he is a self-proclaimed “rat-basher”, hes the only character to explicitly say the n word, he stalks and assaults the waitress (her trope is p obvious. perfect girl that the loser drools over, she rejects him.) to the point of her actually breaking and agreeing to HAVE HIS KID (need a whole new post abt those beans jfc)

NOW. i ask you…what usually happens in tv shows with the charlie/waitress dynamic? typically i’d say that throughout the course of the show the audience realizes that the supposed “perfect girl” is actually a bitch and that it’s actually the unassuming, more natural looking, lead girl who should get together with the charlie character. depending on the show, maybe she’s the girl who’s been helping him chase his supposed dream girl. or she’s the girl who is, up until the big reveal, his lesbian-coded best friend who is SICK of hearing about this girl. or maybe shes just always been there, but he’s never considered her because they’ve been friends for so long, they’ve known each other since they were kids, maybe she isnt even on the table and she’s dating his friend, or she was dating his friend, or maybe…because she’s the sister of his friend. his friends TWIN sister. see where i’m going with this? it’s dee. dee and charlie are the b couple. the dwight and angela. they’re the obvious couple.maybe you didn’t see it at first but once it’s suggested you can’t unsee it. and when they DO get together. it’s like they always were. they’re the caring, devoted, consistent couple that the audience can lean on when things get messy in the other characters relationships. and yet. dee and charlie already DID get together. and apparently they hated it. hated it so much that charlie (the poor guy trope) wanted to stop and dee (girl next door trope) FORCES him to finish. not to mention neither of them seem all that interested in a caring consistent relationship. at least not with each other. why would they be?

and what would a B couple be without an A couple? but how do you even go about satirizing an A couple? they’re meant to stay in a “will they won’t they” for at least five seasons, and when they inevitably do get together it’s full of cheating and lying and breaks. cause thats what makes an A couple interesting to watch. they’re “meant to be” and yet still have to work through the issues that all relationships face. and if it’s a sitcom this is usually funny because all the audience and characters have ever wanted was for the A couple to be official, but now that they are there’s somehow even MORE conflict within the show. sound like anyone? macdennis. but dennis (leading man) wasn’t prepared for a SECOND leading MAN. no one ever told him he was going to be expected to share the limelight. he assumed he’d meet his girl and he would know and so would she and then she’d happily stand behind him forever. not next to him. she certainly wouldn’t ever try and step IN FRONT OF DENNIS. like mac does. now remember that none of the characters, except possibly dee, know that they are filling out a trope. but dennis is the golden god. of course he knows. and that is why he is or was or whatever actively ensuring that he and mac would never be together in a way that could potentially over shadow denniss “guaranteed” leading lady, and more importantly dennis. and even more important. leading men. are not. and have never. been gay. (debatable but i digress)

so a couple b couple who cares? i cares. cause taylor swift doesn’t rape the guy at the end of “You Belong With Me”. b couples exist as a more palatable A couple. meant to be without the drama. so this is extremely out of trope for chardee. yk what ELSE is out of trope? macs coming out. yeah we’ve all touched on how fucked that must’ve felt from dens pov but here’s the thing. by coming out, mac was able to confirm that the A couple, in fact, WILL. and most likely already HAVE. but he did this alone. he and dennis didn’t come out together, mac doesn’t think about dennis at all in find his pride, mac being gay is his. and that leaves dennis with…the knowledge that he and mac ARE the A couple. not only that, but apparently mac can satisfy that trope all by himself. macs outness is obnoxious. it’s like he’s bragging about it. showing it off. it’s how everything was, but. worse. he doesn’t even need anyone to do the annoying A couple stuff, the parade around, the delusion that no one could have possibly known. he doesn’t need dennis. but it’s pretty clear that at least some part of mac still WANTS dennis. and was expecting dennis to too. but that’s not real life. imagine you’re in a “will they won’t they” for DECADES and then, out of nowhere, ur partner says “yeah no we will.” and everyone believes them. they don’t even need to spare a glance at you because they’ve always kinda known and now thanks to “your other half” they always will know for sure. no matter what you do. now there’s an expectation.

and (full circle u guys) dennis’ trope doesn’t usually call for meeting expectations. he’s attractive and charming, he’s supposed to be able to coast until he looks up and realizes he gs everything he ever wanted. but now he’s 44. and he has everything he never wanted. his abusive (not)father is best friends and the father of? HIS highschool best friend, his other best friend is an asshole who is somehow an asshole abt: being gay, dennis being gay, being gay for dennis, dennis not validating that when he expected him to. and his sister, who has been firmly planted against him since they were kids. hes starving and he’s a legit alcoholic, the gross kind, and all he’s ever done is get a diagnosis that makes his friends treat him weird and abandon his son who is named after a stranger to everyone. and i’ll prolly make a king post abt it but dennis has been showing subtle signs of edging towards (another) extreme breaking point and idk what it’s abt (fingers crossed mac uwu ihatemyself )but i’m just saying that dennis’ mentality has kind of always directed the group in a direct way (whether dynamics, psyche, finances, lives, time, etc) so that’s innerestin

and so now i say the most cracked out part of the post. this theory is giving me untapped amounts of hope that the only way the show can end is with the gang finally settling and finding happiness or they all commit group suicide. and idk abt u but those are the only two endings i’m interested in seeing.

Prince Nuada X Autistic Reader

f

again gonna be based on the AU where he works for the BPRD :) also because obviously autism is a huge scale, i’m just basing it off my own experiences, so sorry if it isn’t what you wanted but let me know if you want me to change it :)

- You were friends with Red, Abe and Liz

- Nuada had seen you with them multiple times

- But whenever you saw him you’d avoid his gaze, muttering to your friends and leaving the room

- He was under the impression you disliked him, but for what reason, he’d never been rude to you? 

- So he decided to talk to Red about it

- Who had given him a raised brow and a sigh

- “Look, y/n doesn’t hate you, she has autism” He starts and Nuada frowns

- “Autism? What’s that?” He asks, and Red scratches his forehead

- “Well it’s hard to classify under one vague description, but it’s a sort of communication and social disorder” He starts

- “There are different types, it’s a spectrum so everyone with a diagnosis has different symptoms” He says, and Nuada nods

- “So what makes hers different” He asks, and Red shrugs

- “She doesn’t like meeting new people, puts her on edge, too many social expectations I believe, she doesn’t like handshakes, or people touching her, unless of course she touches you first, then you know it’s ok, what else, oh yea, bright lights, she’s light sensitive” He gestures the brightly lit room. “Which isn’t particularly best being here and all, she also has hyperfixations” He says, and Nuada frowns

- “Hyper fixation? What are those” He asks, and Red explains

- “A special interest, something she’s currently interested, it can change of course, and she can have multiple sometimes, but at the moment it’s mushroom species” He says, and then looks curiously at him

- “But why do you want to know” He asks, and Nuada shrugs

- “I want to get to know her” He says simply, and Red watches him

- “Well, she’ll talk to anybody about her fixations, so why don’t you start a conversation about mushrooms” He suggests, and Nuada nods, thanking him before leaving

- Two days later he’d found you sitting at a desk, book in hand, he noticed the title from afar. Fungi, he smiled. Before walking closer, pulling out a chair and sitting down across from you, and your head shot up, looking at the man who was sitting across from you

- He gestures to your book

- “I see you’re interested in mushrooms” He offers, and you nod slowly, not sure why he’s sitting near you. But he keeps on talking

- “Did you know a single Portabella mushroom can contain more potassium than a banana?” He asks, and your interest is peaked, a grin on your face as you nod.

- “Mhm, the French first started  to popularise them in the 19th century, but before that the Egyptians and Greeks believed they’d provide energy during battle, and I suppose they were right because they would give them a lot more energy than some things they would of eaten in that era. But the Egyptians labelled them to be the plant of immortality and made it so commoners weren’t allowed to eat them-” You slowed down, looking up at Nuada, to see he was still paying attention and upon seeing he was you kept talking

- The conversation lasted a while, the two of you passing facts back and forth, Nuada even knowing some that you hadn’t

- Nuada on the other hand, was beaming at the conversation, he’d finally talked to you, and you’d enjoyed it, or so he thought, but from the way you smiled at him he had to be doing something right

- It was only now you’d realised you’d been talking for over three hours, and you bluntly pointed this out to him, and he glanced at the clock in the room

- “It appears you’re right” He says, and stands

- “Do you- want to come and get dinner with me?” He offers, you looked at the clock, it was late, meaning the hall wouldn’t be as busy as it usual, but still you looked uncertain, and Nuada noticed this

- “If it’s busy when we arrive we can always turn back” He offers, and you looked up at him, wondering why he offered, and it was at that moment you realised he knew, knew about the autism, and you frowned to yourself for a moment, you didn’t think elves knew about autism. Unless, unless he’d spoken to Red about it. But he’d only do that if he actually wanted to talk to you

- And why would he want to do that? You thought to yourself. And then you realise Nuada was still standing there, waiting for a response, and you nodded your head, following him towards the food hall

- When you got there it was relatively quiet, but he still looked at you for confirmation to go ahead, and when you nodded he smiled

- You were both sitting next to each other on the bench, making some light conversation, as you ate, and you heard the thumpy boots of Red, and you looked up and saw his surprised expression, Liz, Abe and Nuala following behind him, similar surprised expressions on their faces. 

- He walked over, taking a seat on the other side of the table, smirking

- “Looks like you made a new friend there short fry” He joked, and you frowned

- “Fuck off” You blurted out before making an oop noise at the back of your throat, apologising and he laughed. 

- “Don’t worry about it kiddo, it’s good to see you’re making friends, and you-” He turned to look at Nuada. “You do anything to upset her and I’ll curb stomp you” He says, and you laugh slightly.

- Nuada frowns, assuring him he wouldn’t, and Red nods, before standing back up

- “Well, I’ll leave you two to it” He smiles and you wave goodbye to him

- A few weeks later and you’re at Nuada’s side, the two of you closer now than before, practically never apart, if one of you was somewhere, the other wasn’t far behind.

- Nuada was fiercely protective of you, someone made a joke at your expense, they’d be threatened until they wished they could crawl into a corner and cry. 

- You let him touch you now, which was a big step, he would do it firmly, not lightly, knowing it made your skin crawl, but there would be head pats and shoulder pats most days.

- If you were in a crowded area you’d move closer to Nuada, a hand balling in the fabric of his shirt and his arm would be around you quickly, finding the quickest route out of the situation

- The others had watched your relationship progress, they were surprised with how quickly you’d accepted him into your life. You still barely let Red touch you and you had known him for over a year

- But it was quickly becoming less platonic and more romantic. His gestures more softer, sweeter, caring, forehead kisses and hugs before leaving to your respective quarters

- And it was long before the two of you were sharing a quarter. Both of you preferring to start the day together, as well as ending it together

- And he eventually kissed you one day

- Making your relationship official

- Red had still threatened even if he knew he wouldn’t hurt you. Nuala was over the moon, her brother finally accepting humanity, when a few months ago he’d set to destroy them, he was now caring for one

- He was still in tune to your needs, he knew what you liked and disliked, any fabrics that caused you discomfort, smells you were adverse too, food that made your stomach crawl. He always seemed to know when something was wrong. 

- He made your life a thousand times earlier, making sure you completed deadlines, handed in reports, took any medicine on time, ate properly

- It was easier to manage with him around

- And he wasn’t going away any time soon

long, long health update - tw in tags please read them

I am going to speak very frankly about suicidal ideation; please don't read further if this is triggering for you ;3; but please know that I love you I had my follow-up appt with my neuropsych on monday to go over my results and whatnot. it was virtual, and I was in the middle of a head episode and I told her I wasn't doing well, but within about 5-10 minutes, she was saying I should probably go to the ER lkajflaj I guess it looked pretty bad lmao anyway I told her all the reasons I couldn't. medical trauma, being dismissed b/c I have doctors who manage my headaches, and I know it's not life-threatening even if it is 10/10 agonizing, so why are you here. they're so dismissive. she said that they have medication to possibly help break the cycle of constant migraines but I've been treated with those before and they didn't do shit migraines are secondary to iih. it's the iih that needs to be fixed ._. she said I still deserved to not suffer and that the ER is very strict about keeping covid patients away from other patients and I didn't have the heart to tell her they intubated a covid patient 10-15 feet away from me last time I was in an ER 😭 anyway so the results. she said she wasn't worried about anything going on that was concerning or indicating something wrong in my brain. I DID score quite a bit lower for someone my age on information processing (which is exactly what I said I was struggling with to my two neuros who were both like ehhh) and some issues with memory but they weren't super specific and so it could be something neurological, could be my migraines and constant agony lmao, could be my Emotional State. could be all of them at once, I suppose ;) she went into more detail about some of these things but it was the two questionnaires I filled out that were HNNN. so once all the data is entered from like 300 questions it shows a good look into my personality and perceptions and all that and it makes a cool little graph (OR SO I THOUGHT). the kind that looks like mountain peaks. so she points at the one that is waaay higher than the rest and nearly touching the top of the box and she's like 'do you see this one' me: yeah 😬 her: this is your feelings and ideations about suicide me: 😬 😩 😬 her: when I see a score this high, I stop what I'm doing and I call the police to have them escort you to a hospital me: 😬😬😬😬😬 her: but I didn't do that. because when we spoke in office you told me you felt this way and why you don't do it. you told me it's something you've lived with for a long time and the pain you are suffering is what makes it so bad. and I trust you me: 😭😭😭 okay her: do you see this line down here? this is people who have suicidal ideation recorded on this test. you scored 98% higher on suicidal ideation compared to people reporting suicidal ideation HNNNNNN. she said it probably wasn't surprising to me and asked me if I was safe again and all that. I assured her I was and said in my previous appointment; I've had suicidal thoughts since I was like 12? maybe earlier. there have been very few times in my life not surrounded by abuse and trauma so I'm never really free of it. I've had four traumatic incidents causing increasingly horrible episodes of ptsd in nine years. all through my 20s. still here woo, lol and she said she knew that and had a patient not long after my first appointment who had similar circumstances in their life. and they told her it's almost a comfort having it. cause I was saying it's in the back of my mind at all times and I won't do it, but yeah, it's always there. anyway she said they said the same thing; it's always there, always in the background as 'hey I'm an option!' even though we aren't going to harm ourselves. it's a comfort knowing there is an option even if we plan on never using it? idk it just spoke to me and I felt it in my soul we talked about some emotional stuff after and I cried and it was a thing. it felt really good to speak to a psychologist who, just as she was in the first appointment, seemed genuinely concerned and wanted to help

me. I told her I was ready for therapy and she said she'd already looked for therapists for me lkasjdlkja and gave me a group that I emailed yesterday. I don't think they'll take my insurance but she said to message her through the portal if they don't and she'll try to find someone who does I don't remember if I mentioned it, but since she knew about the head shit before I met her, she dimmed her office lights without asking if I needed it and like as soon as we started the virtual visit, she leaped up and dimmed them and said she should've thought about it before the appt 😭 (I keep my brightness really low on my computer and use the warming feature 24/7 on comp and phone and my apt is really dimmed but it still helped a lot when she did it) she kept saying 'you did nothing wrong. it was the choice of others to do what they did. you don't deserve to carry their choices. you deserve to be able to hand it back to them. you don't deserve to be in pain. you did nothing wrong. you deserve to be free of what they did and you deserve to not suffer in such physical pain' I'm so wary of doctors but I really like her and I feel fortunate to have been referred to her ;3; speaking for a long time and especially emotionally is hard for me, so I might try to do two sessions a month once I find a therapist and see if I'm ok with that. trying to keep everything virtual while delta is out there I read her report and her official diagnosis is uhh really strong for major depressive disorder, severe. and severe ptsd with disassociative symptoms so!!! I claimed both of those on my disability application and the person handling my claim told me when I had this appt to call and let her know because she wanted the info. I signed a release the day I was there when I told my neuropsych that cause MH stuff is different than other medical records. she said she faxed it to the woman handling my disability application but I was gonna call her and ask if she received it and also tell her I have a new neuro so she will probably request his stuff too I called today and her voicemail box is full so lol try again later today's been awful. last night was horrible. got a bill for over $800 from my colonoscopy/endoscopy even though I asked numerous times if insurance was covering it and was told yep, every penny. so I was on the phone with insurance and the surgery center for 45 minutes. insurance seemed confused af but the agent I spoke with got some help from people who handle this stuff I guess finally she told me not to pay it, they're going to send them a letter to get it sorted (idk if this means I won't have to pay it at all or if they're going to try to make it that way. but I think govt insurance, which is what I have, works differently. like doctors kinda have to follow what they say vs. the other way around) and not worry about it for the next 30 days. I'm still gonna worry about it lmao they used a nice scare tactic on the bill that this was the 'LAST AND FINAL NOTICE' despite the fact they've never sent me anything else. my mom and the insurance agent said nah that's just what they do to scare people into paying fuckin love america <3 land of the free. the american dream! greatest country on earth 💜🖕💜 I just don't want it to go to collections and have to fight credit bureaus to get it off my credit so it's not destroyed |: anyway my head hit like 10/10 bad while I was on the phone cause of the talking a lot and trying to PROCESS INFORMATION and stress and also the fucking hold music, which I have to hear in some way b/c I gotta know when they're back on the line hnnnnn bad day. it's 1pm and bad, bad, bad day. bad month all around. I want this shit to stop anyway. I'm sorry about the suicidal ideation talk, but it's important to talk about that stuff. it can get severe but it can also get better. it does, eventually, even if it comes and goes. it always does get better I'm sorry, I also really needed to get this down somewhere. feel like I'm going to explode emotionally AND physically and I need to talk about it. hopefully

soon I'll have a therapist to talk to so I can get a lot of this stuff worked on. got my whole life to chat about so it'll probably take a long time but I'm willing to let it lmao therapy doesn't usually work for me anymore but idk I've had a lot of shit happen in less than two years so maybe it will this time I'm trying! I really am trying if you read this rambling monster, thank you. love you all and please stay safe

here by unpopular demand: why Ian and Mickey are narrative foils 

For reference, the definition of a narrative foil is a character who contrasts with another character (usually the protagonist) to highlight qualities of the other character. 

1. introduction to the show

Mickey is introduced to the show as an antagonist and somebody out to get Ian who, at this point, is the ‘protagonist’. He’s presented as the direct opposite of Ian: dirty, obviously not well taken care of, crass, homophobic, etc. As the show goes on we learn that most, if not all, of these things are a defense mechanism and not actually indicative of who he is but before 1x07 these are the only things we know about him. Basically, he’s introduced as a stereotypical neighborhood thug contrasted against sweet, hardworking, ambitious Ian.

2. family

The Milkoviches and Gallaghers are narrative foils, too, and in better world the show would have explored this even further but I digress. They’re similar in the way that they’re both poor Southside families trying to make money to stay afloat but the comparisons pretty much end there. The biggest difference is that the Gallagher children always had somebody looking out for them, while the Milkovich children didn’t. Talking about Ian and Mickey, it’s not to say that Ian didn’t have his fair share of having to fend for himself or that he had it easy, but at the very least his family really loved and cared about him and it’s shown really early on that Mickey didn’t have that. In fact, he lived in perpetual fear of his father and was loyal to him because of this, as opposed to Ian who hated Frank and avoided even associating with him most of the time. Ian and Mickey in the early seasons explicitly show what difference growing up knowing you’re loved and thinking you have a chance in life makes and how much that affects your personality and general worldview.

3. driving character arcs

This boils down to Mickey’s main obstacles being external and physical while Ian’s are internal and psychological. Neither one is worse or more important than the other but it does mean a lot in terms of who they are as characters and the things they had to overcome.

     3a. Mickey’s sexuality

     Ian has always been shown to be comfortable in his sexuality and, even though he wasn’t out for all of the early seasons, it was never shown to be a source of contention for him. Mickey on the other hand, doesn’t get comfortable in his sexuality until season 5 (and even then he’s shown to revert to having sex with women when he’s stressed). In this regard, Ian operates as Mickeys foil, serving to highlight how different Mickey’s experience with his sexuality was compared to Ian’s, as shown in 2x08 when you see Mickey terrified of being outed while Ian looks on really not understanding what he’s so afraid of. As Mickey said, they lived in different worlds, and moments like 2x08 or all of season 3b serve as proof of this.

     3b. Ian’s bipolar

    Ian’s return in season 4 marks a real turning point for his character. Even though his main traits never falter he seems to be, in many ways, a completely different person. As time goes on you learn why this is and, especially after Ian’s diagnosis, you see Ian and Mickey once again living in different worlds. Mickey operates as his foil here because Ian sees the diagnosis as a death sentence and has a hard time coming to terms with it. After what he saw with Monica, it seems impossible that he would see it any other way, which is made worse by the way his family talks about it. Mickey, however, has none of these pre-existing connotations or stigma about it. To him, it just means Ian’s sick and needs help, not that he’s broken or different or that there’s anything wrong with him at all. Once he gets over the initial hurt and confusion it really doesn’t change how he sees Ian at all, which juxtaposes Ian’s warped perception of himself, which goes so deep that he breaks up with Mickey after spending time with Monica and seeing the future he thinks he’s doomed to end up in.

4. relationship

All throughout the show, their storylines are inverses of each other (I’ve made a couple gifsets about that here) and the relationship itself serves to highlight different parts of each character at different points throughout the show.

    4a. seasons 1-5

In seasons 1-3, Ian is shown to be the steady one in the relationship, he has the luxury of not being terrified of being outed and having a support system, so he’s able to pursue Mickey in this way. Then, enter seasons 4 and 5, and all the stability and surety that has defined Ian for his whole life is ripped away from him. This completely flips their dynamic on it’s head and forces Mickey to both pursue Ian, and become the stable one in the relationship, in seasons 4 and 5, respectively. 

     4b. seasons 6-7

In season 6, Mickey is a reminder of Ian’s ‘past life’ and everything he was desperate to move on from. It’s not that Mickey did anything to deserve this, but the fact is Ian associated him with everything from the past year or so that had completely destroyed his life and his perception of himself. 

In season 7, Ian had gotten himself to a place where he was able separate Mickey from that and come to terms with his feelings for him. Mickey was his foil here in the sense that he represented love and passion as opposed to the precarious stability Ian had worked really hard to carve out for himself. The situation forced Ian to make a choice between the two and revealed just how much Ian values his mental health and safety, highlighting how much he’d grown from seasons 4 and 5.

     4c. season 10

In season 10 their relationship had finally reached a point where they can just be together, which opened the door for the insecurities that they both still harbored to come out of the shadows. Mickey’s feelings of abandonment and his need for Ian to prove that he’s committed go up against Ian’s commitment issues brought on by his bipolar and the connotations that marriage held for him. To Ian, getting married meant Mickey tying himself to him forever, and he couldn’t imagine why he would want to do that; to Mickey, it just meant them committing to being together forever. They were essentially looking at the same picture but seeing different things which highlighted really key parts of their personalities and the way they operate in a relationship.

tldr: Ian and Mickey’s relationship is incredibly complex, but the main thing that remained consistent through it all is that they constantly challenge each other and bring out both the good and the bad in each other and that they fiercely love each other.

Survey #392

“l.a. is where stars come to die”

Do you think there’s anything you did better when you were younger? I think I was a better writer, honestly. Like I've developed in some areas, like being less over-dramatic, but I just think my creativity in wording and such has dulled down. Who was the craziest teacher you’ve ever had? I've never had a "crazy" teacher, honestly. What’s the last thing you got paid to do? Take pictures. What’s the most romantic thing you’ve ever done for someone else? How should I know? Ask either Jason or Sara. Have you ever wanted to model? No. Have you ever seen someone have a seizure? I THINK my sister? Teddy had seizures in his old age, too. What’s your favorite car? I don't have one, really. Do you know any HTML or CSS? If yes, how much? I know veeeeery little basics. LIke, I can change the color of shit and that's about it lmao. Do you tend to care about the lives of celebrities? Why or why not? Only celebrities I really really care about, like Mark. What do you think of the scene style? #aesthetic and I will ALWAYS be envious of the hair. Have you ever told an extremely inappropriate joke? Oh god, I remember one. What is the highest you have been up, other than in an airplane? On a certain faire ride, I wanna say. Is there any hope of you ever seeing your favorite band in concert? Ozzy does want to do another tour at some point, but he's fighting Parkinson's currently, so it's not guaranteed it will happen. Mom and I planned on going to his last one that was scheduled, but the diagnosis cancelled it. :( What is your favorite non-green vegetable? Uhhhhh I guess potatoes. What is your favorite non-traditional fruit? I don't think I've even had a non-traditional fruit. Just basic stuff. Have you ever had Swedish Fish? Yeah, I'm not a fan. What is your favorite origami shape? Birds, I guess. Do you usually take the stairs or the elevator? I pretty much always take an elevator if one's available because my legs can barely handle stairs at all. It's agonizing for me. Do you need a key card to get into the building you live in? No. What was the last takeout food you had? I had a burger from McDonald's a few days ago. Do you take the pickle off your burgers? No, I love pickles on burgers. Do you share a bed with anyone? Just my cat. If you’ve read or watched Harry Potter, which book/movie is your favorite? I haven't. What’s the last app you downloaded on your phone? I re-installed DragonVale. What do you know the most about? Meerkats, Markiplier, and Silent Hill, probably. What TV shows can you not stand? What's that stupid show on Adult Swim, Rooster Teeth or something like that? That shit was so dumb. Have you ever tasted your own tears? I mean not intentionally. Sometimes tears just fall down a spot where it happens. Are your legs hairy? I can almost guarantee to you that I probably have the hairiest legs of any woman you've ever met. Do you like Cheese-Itz? I love them! We don't really buy them though because both Mom and I can destroy a box of them. Have you ever built a sandcastle? I have. Did you ever watch Barney as a child? Yeah, I loved Barney, but not as much as my older sister. She literally "married" him, haha. Have you ever had a pet rabbit? No, but my older sis did as a kid. That poor thing died and Ashley didn't know for THREE DAYS. Mom took it out earlier and I guess she wanted to see how long it took Ash to notice? She didn't take great care of it, so. Are you wearing anything of any sentimental value? Describe? Yes, my friendship ring with Sara. To you, what is especially distracting? Tapping noises. When was the last time you did some major cleaning? MAJOR cleaning? Good question. How do you feel about people who neglect their pets? It sickens me. Have you ever contemplated cheating on anyone? Nope. When are you likely to lie? Probably when I don't want to seriously hurt someone. What is a personality type that you do not like? I hate people who think they know everything, are unwilling to acknowledge their flaws and work on them, feel they're better than others, are closed-minded, sexist, bigoted, racist... What is a personality type that you DO like? I am drawn to people who are empathetic and try to understand and consider more than just themselves, are caring and genuine, philosophical and think deeply, are calm, friendly, good listeners, and have a light sense of humor. Which of your friends is the least like you? In what way? I actually don't know. MAYBE Mini with her being extremely conservative to a frustrating degree and overwhelmingly religious. We diverge pretty strongly in beliefs that are important to me. How about the most like you? In what way? Sara! We have incredibly similar interests and morals, and we both are wild over animals. When was the last time you felt under-appreciated? I'm gonna be completely transparent here, even though it's uncomfortable to admit. I was very unhappy with the literally two interactions a poem I was really proud of got on dA. Like it was one I was trying to get published prior to just posting it there, so it was really disappointing to feel so overlooked when you worked hard on something you felt came out great. Does anyone take advantage of you or take you for granted? No. Are you taking anyone for granted? I sure as hell hope no one feels like I do. I definitely try to appreciate those I have to the utmost. What is one selfish thing that you do? I prioritize my alone time probably too much. How about something selfless? I'm pretty much always willing to listen to people's hardships and comfort them even if my own mental health is in poor condition. What do you like to do on your favorite holiday? Just be with family and really focus on how lucky I am to have them. What helps you fall asleep? I guess really paying attention to slowing my breathing, but that doesn't always work. It takes me at LEAST half an hour to fall asleep, so I struggle no matter what. Is there anyone you wish you were still friends with now? Megan. I really, really miss her. What is a fear you want to overcome? SOCIAL ANXIETY. UGH. What is something you do not like about yourself, with good reason? I'm lazy. What do you usually cry about? PTSD. Do you like pizza better on the second day? No. What do you like on your pancakes? Butter and normal syrup. Have you ever made up your own emoticon? I don't think so. How do you generally meet people? Online in one way or another. Have you ever seen a Broadway show in New York? No. Are you listening to music right now? Yeah, "God Hates Your Outfit" by Jeffree Star lmao. Look, it's catchy. Can anyone in your immediate family play the guitar? No. Have you ever wished to be an internet celebrity? How about a ‘real’ one? No. Like I've actually *loosely* considered trying to be a let's player with my love of games, but I don't even want to *risk* popularity; not that I think I'd get to that point, but still, I don't like the chance. Have you ever been kayaking? No. Do you still live with your parents? Yes. Do you believe you will never get over someone? I think Jason will always occupy at the very least a small corner of my mind. I just deal with loss so poorly in general, but that... that breakup was something. What do you order at Burger King? I don't like BK. Have you ever lived by yourself? No. Pretty sure I never could with my depression. What brand cell phone do you have? It's just a Tracfone, lol. Did you ever have a ‘security blanket’ when you were younger? Yes, my stuffed moose. What is your lucky charm? I don’t have one. Have you ever been in a wedding? Yeah, I was a bridesmaid in my sister's. Do you believe in yourself? ehhhhhh What time does your dad usually wake up in the morning? I don't live with him, so I can't say for sure. He's a mailman though, so he gets up early, I know. Who was the last person/people you were in a car with? Mom. What movie do you plan on watching next? I've been meaning to watch Jacob's Ladder for like... over a year, lmao. It served as an inspirational work for Silent Hill, and I know its reputation is brilliant, so I really want to see it. I just... don't really watch movies unless I'm in the theater. When something really scares you, what’s your immediate reaction? Gasp or go "what the fuck" or something along those lines. I can almost promise a curse word is coming out of my mouth, lol. Using song lyrics, say something to your most recent ex: I don't wanna get emotional digging through the songs that remind me of her, so pass, lol. You can only watch 4 TV shows for the rest of your life. What are they? Meerkat Manor, That '70s Show, maybe Pokemon even if I don't watch it anymore (it could be like a comfort show if I'm limited to four), aaaaand I think Ginga Densetsu Weed. Do you think it’s possible for a rap song to make you cry? ... Yes??? There are a couple that have for me. Does the idea of having a baby at your age scare you? I'm not having kids, sooo I don't have to worry about this. What band has the power to make you cry by splitting up? None. I'd be really upset if some did, but I wouldn't cry. Who is your favourite famous person who isn’t a singer, actor, or athlete? Well, I WOULD say Mark, but considering he's officially an actor now... guess not, haha. Uhhhh. Put him aside and I guess maybe Bindi Irwin. I'm not sure.

Why don't you like Cameron? Just want some salt,I'll even spill mine. She was oftentimes too emotional, and whined a lot,besides being too preachy and hypocritical. That could've been ingredients for a great character, IMO,but the writers didn't handle her character well. What makes even more jarring was how Chase and Foreman had great writing, and their flaws fucked them over. And her infatuation with House... Wtf was that,should've lasted for 1 season at the very most,but alas.

i actually loved cameron in the beginning! i thought she was sweet, kind, and empathetic -- all the things you’d want your doctor to be. she even reminded me of my best friend, who’s a doctor with a personality similar to cameron’s. i liked that there was a “heart” element to the team, someone to keep the balance between the puzzle aspect, the careerist aspect, and the patient aspect of medicine.

what began annoying me was her hypocrisy. i can understand self-righteousness and a strong moral compass. i cannot stand hypocrisy. cameron tended to act like her beliefs and morals were more important than the others’. i also didn’t like how judgy she acted towards patients, and how she could almost never separate her emotions from her work. i know it sounds harsh, but if you’re in medicine, you have to compartmentalize. feeling your patient’s pain is one thing, but that should end the moment your patient is out the door. you cannot take on all of your patient’s suffering and expect that it won’t affect you. cameron couldn’t do this, and she’d end up judging the patient because of it, or projecting on them.

i found her fascination with broken men intriguing, honestly. it says something to the kind of person she is that she’d marry a man with a terminal diagnosis despite knowing he’d be dead very soon. that in itself is not a bad thing, but when you look at the bigger picture, it’s definitely a pattern with cameron. she thinks she can fix people with kindness and love. that’s admirable on paper; doesn’t always work out that way in real life. she was infatuated with house because she felt attracted to his pain. she thought if only he would let her love him, she could fix him and take away his pain. she never actually tried to... understand the pain. when he rejected her, she had a whole phase of giving up on love, and she began her friends with benefits thing with chase. or to be accurate, coworkers with benefits.

because they weren’t friends. cameron had shown interest in chase’s past only because of her fascination with “broken” people. he loved her, though. he genuinely, from the bottom of his heart, loved her. it was childish the way he went about it, but it was sincere. and she eventually said yes, and they began dating, but here’s the thing -- throughout their relationship, it never felt like she loved him. he was infatuated, always had heart eyes on around her -- and she seemed like she was going through the motions. she seemed like she’d settled for him because he was around, and “safe” to love, and he loved her. she still kept her walls up. she still made him fight just to be let in. she went into that relationship already anticipating that it would end, which is why she kept her first husband’s sperm and was so reluctant to let go of it. like she always figured chase was temporary.

i won’t lie, i did like her again when she finally began letting chase in and when she realized that she loved him enough to destroy her first husband’s sperm. but their marriage lasted barely a couple months, man. yeah, what he did was major, but she basically accused him of turning into house, which is just... not accurate. i doubt house would’ve ever given enough of a shit about dibala to do what chase did. she was the one who kept saying dibala didn’t deserve to live, and then when he actually died, she made like chase was now some evil heartless murderer. the difference is that she never had the conviction to act on her beliefs, she just liked preaching them to anyone with working ears. chase, on the other hand, did what he believed was right, knowing the consequences would weigh heavy on him. he knew he would suffer, he knew he’d never be the same again, but he did it anyway, because he believed it was the right thing to do. 

cameron has always lacked that. foreman has always had the guts to stand up to house. chase didn’t at first, but he developed a backbone later. chase had the conviction to follow through on his beliefs even when the consequences could be life-ruining. cameron has never, not once, done that. it’s hypocrisy to constantly rail about injustice and morals and righteousness and then never actually do something about it. and then when chase was finally as fucked up as the men cameron likes to pursue, she left him, because it finally got too real. it’s one thing talking about it; it’s entirely another to do it. and she couldn’t handle the reality of being in a long-term relationship with someone who actually needed help. she always had this romanticized view of messy, flawed people, and then when she realized her husband was one of them in a way much realer than “oh he had a shit childhood”, she turned tail and ran. 

chase asked her if she’d ever loved him, and she said, “i don’t know!” which she later amended to “i did, i did love you, i don’t know why i said that.” the thing is, though, her first emotional reaction was much more believable. and chase was right, it wasn’t just the dibala thing that had her running. she was always going to compare him to the six months of marriage she had with her first husband, and he was never going to measure up to that ideal because all of it was the honeymoon period. with her first husband, she never ever got into the real part of marriage, the one that happens when the passion fades and you have to actually live with each other. chase never stood a chance. the entire relationship felt like she was only in it because she didn’t think she was ever going to find anything better. and chase loved her, he loved her so much he was willing to leave PPTH after dibala, where he’d always been happy, just to please her. it says a lot that she would ask that of him just so he’d somehow remain aligned with her morals, and not his, knowing that he’d do anything she asked just to keep her forgiveness and love.

cameron was an interesting character mostly because of how static her personality was. she never really changed, not like how chase and foreman did. both of them developed, grew into themselves, evolved as they learned new things. cameron didn’t. season 6 cameron was pretty much the same as season 1 cameron, minus the obsession with house. and it’s not even that her idealism was annoying -- masters was idealistic. adams was idealistic. but these two weren’t hypocritical about it. masters left house’s department the moment she realized she couldn’t stay without compromising her morals. and adams was always open to change, to having her beliefs challenged, and she evolved accordingly. cameron remained exactly the same, while everyone around her changed, and that’s what led me to dislike her.

Everything I Didn’t Say (or the Three Times Ander Told the Truth)

Request: seeing the actual conversation in ep1 where ander tells rebe about his diagnosis (after she finds him crying) i love your fics btw

Characters: Ander, Rebe, Azucena, Omar

Note: I don’t know what kind of fic I want to say this is because it’s not an omander fic like the others I’ve written because it’s more about Ander’s thoughts after receiving his diagnosis (but I will put it under omander fics in my masterlist) I hope you enjoy reading this! I’d love to hear your feedback.

1.

Rebe had never seen Ander so upset. Granted, she had never seen Ander express any type of emotion apart from his stoic self in class and his model-like demeanor in the photos Omar had showed her. This was a whole new ballgame.

“Ander?” She placed her hand on his shoulder. He wouldn’t look at her. “Ven.” She grabbed his arm and pulled him into an empty classroom and locked the door.

Ander leaned against the wall. “Lo siento,” he gasped through his tears.

Rebe shook her head and placed her bag on the nearby desk. Her mind was running a mile a minute. What could possibly make the calmest person she had ever met break down in this way. “You don’t have to tell me,” she finally spoke again for the first time in what felt like hours. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

What was she supposed to say?

“Can’t have someone as gorgeous as you crying, can we?”

Probably not that.

Ander chuckled as he wiped a tear away.

Okay, so maybe that.

“Is Omar okay?” Rebe finally realized a possible cause for this unpredictable event.

“Yeah. He’s great,” Ander sighed. He slid down so he could sit on the floor while still leaning against the wall.

Rebe slowly took a seat next to him, careful not to move too quickly or startle him in any way. She placed a hand on his knee, hoping to provide him some comfort.

“I went to the doctor,” Ander further crushed the crumbled piece of paper in his fist. “I…I have leukemia.” He put his head in his hands, the tears rushing back like a waterfall.

“Joder,” she let out a breath. “Ander. I’m so sorry.” She wrapped her arm around his shoulders. His body shook as he let out another sob.

“Don’t mention it to my mom,” he whimpered trying to stop the tears.

“Yeah okay,” she rubbed his shoulder. “Ander,” she suddenly realized. “You’ve told her, right?”

Ander silently stared at his shoes.

“Ander, you have to tell her. “She’s-“

“Don’t,” he said softly, suddenly much calmer. It was like he flipped a switch. He turned his emotions off just as quickly as he turned them on. If you had blinked, you would have missed it. Everyone else in the hall certainly did. His voice was now low and almost steady. “I don’t need anyone else. I can handle this on my own.”  He stood up quickly and stepped away from her. “I don’t know what came over me. I’m sorry.” He grabbed his bag and looked down at her. “Please don’t tell anyone.”

“Of course,” Rebe nodded. “But Ander-“

He took a small step towards.

“You do need people. The loneliness will kill you.”

Ander rolled his eyes. “No. The cancer will.”

The door slammed with a horrible sound yet somehow the silence that followed it was so much worse. Rebe didn’t know what to think. No, she hadn’t known Ander for a long time and they certainly weren’t that close, but part of her felt close to him, nonetheless. They both had been through so much in the past year, almost like they were fighting separate but similar battles side by side. She couldn’t picture Las Encinas without him. She didn’t want to.

She looked at the now empty spot beside her on the floor. Everything happened so quickly. She wanted to help. She wanted to take everything that hurt him and destroy it until it lost everything that made it scary and powerful. She wanted it gone. She wanted to build Ander back into who he was.

  2.

“Your teacher said you missed class,” Azucena said the next day as she rummaged through her purse to find her key to the car. Ander closed his eyes. He couldn’t do this, could he? This can’t actually be his life. How on earth was he going to tell his mother that her only son had leukemia? “Well?” Azucena finally found the key and unlocked the door. “Funny enough Guzman and Polo were gone too.”

“They both hate me, Mama. How many times do I have to tell you?” He opened the passenger door and got in the car. He quickly buckled his seatbelt and sighed as he leaned his head against the window.

“Then where were you?”

“Doesn’t matter.”

“Ander, don’t do that. It matters to me.”

“I just skipped, okay? I was stressed and I just couldn’t deal today.”

She took a deep breath and started the car. “What can I do, Carino?”

“Nothing, Mama,” he grumbled. He wanted nothing more than to disappear into nothingness. Then he wouldn’t have to hurt her.

The rest of the ride home was silent. Ander felt a tension like he had never felt with another person before, and he knew his mother could feel it, too. Would he feel this tense for the rest of his life? No one told him how one was supposed to feel when they find out they have cancer, but Ander could sense that it wasn’t this.

When they arrived home, Azucena turned off the car and sat for a moment. “You can tell me anything, you know.”

“I know, Mama,” he nodded.

She pressed a small kiss to the top of his head and grabbed her purse before getting out of the car. When she was halfway to the door, Ander finally found it in him to speak.

“I wasn’t stressed,” he shook his head. He looked down at the small stone between them; he couldn’t bear to look her in the eye. “I mean, I was, but not about school.”

“What are you stressed about?” she placed a hand on his shoulder and led him to sit on the small bench outside the kitchen window.

“Omar and I were…” he trailed off. Fuck. How was he going to do this? “I found a lump and…I missed class because I went to the doctor and…I…I have leukemia, Mama.”

She gasped softly. She always overprepared for everything and yet, Ander knew that no part of her ever prepared to hear those words come out of his mouth. “Ander,” she spoke softly through her tears. “Oh, Carino.”

He placed an arm around her shoulders as she began to cry harder. Neither spoke for a moment. Azucena turned away. “I’m sorry,” she let out a breath as she began to regain her composure.

“I’m going to make it, right?” he said softly, trying desperately to somehow make the situation better.

“Well, of course you are,” she turned to her son, trying just as desperately to convince him as she was herself.

  3.

Tell him.

His mother’s voice echoed in his ears like an endless alarm he could never turn off.

Ander stared at the door, but didn’t dare go in. He couldn’t go through the pain of telling another person. Saying those dreadful words once was enough to destroy him. Twice was somehow worse and turned his insides even more. He couldn’t bear to say it again-and to tell Omar of all people would probably be the hardest thing he’ll do in his life.

Part of him wished he had stayed strong and didn’t tell Rebe. Maybe he could have handled everything on his own. He was exhausted by it all already. Too many pitying looks. Too many half-hearted, uncertain you’ll make its. Too many people knowing. He just wanted to let it all go.

But he couldn’t keep a secret from Omar again; it just about killed him the last time. It ate away at him, destroying his soul and parts of Omar’s in the process.

Ander finally found it in himself to stand up. His thoughts battling themselves the entire time it took him to place his hand on the doorknob, turn it, and open the door. As soon as his foot hit the hardwood floor of the living room, Omar’s head perked up.

“Is everything okay?” Panic was evident in his voice. He didn’t even know, and he was worried. Ander thought he was scared to tell his mother, but telling his boyfriend was a different kind of terror. He wished Omar could just know without Ander having to tell him.

Then it hit him, Ander couldn’t go through seeing Omar’s fearful face every day. He didn’t want Omar to waste his life worrying. Omar has to know Ander decided. He can know, but he can’t stay. It’s for his own good.

“What’s wrong? Is your mom okay?”

“Yeah, but,” Ander paused, “I’m not.”

“What do you mean?”

Time to rip of the band-aid Ander thought as the dreadful words spilled off his lips again. “I have leukemia.”

Omar felt his whole world shift. After Ander confessed that he knew what Polo did, Omar only wanted to protect Ander. Omar wanted a shield to ward off all his evils. This was one Omar couldn’t stop.

Everything You Need to Know About Allergies

Summary:

"Allergies, also known as allergic diseases, are a number of conditions caused by hypersensitivity of the immune system to typically harmless substances in the environment. These diseases include hay fever, food allergies, atopic dermatitis, allergic asthma and anaphylaxis."

Overview

In March 2020, the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) released a safety alert to warn the public that epinephrine auto-injectors (EpiPen, EpiPen Jr., and generic forms) may malfunction. This could prevent a person from receiving potentially life saving treatment during an emergency. If a person has a prescription for an epinephrine auto-injector, they can view the recommendations from the manufacturer here and talk with their healthcare provider about safe usage.

An allergic reaction occurs when a person’s immune system becomes hypersensitive to certain substances, such as foods, pollen, medications, or bee venom. A substance that causes an allergic reaction is called an allergen. Many allergens are everyday substances that are harmless to most people. However, anything can be an allergen if the immune system has a specific type of adverse reaction to it.

One of the roles of the immune system is to destroy harmful substances in the body. If a person has an allergy to a substance, their immune system will react as though that substance is harmful and will try to destroy it. Over 50 million people in the United States experience an allergic reaction each year. This reaction can lead to symptoms such as swelling. If swelling affects the airways, it can become life threatening. In this article, learn about the risk factors, symptoms, and treatments associated with allergies.

What is an Allergy?

Allergies develop when a person’s immune system overreacts to substances that are usually harmless. The first time a person is exposed to an allergen, they do not usually experience a reaction. It often takes time for the immune system to build up a sensitivity to the substance.

In time, the immune system learns to recognize and remember the allergen. As it does so, it starts making antibodies to attack it when exposure occurs. This buildup is called sensitization. Some allergies are seasonal. For example, hay fever symptoms can peak between April and May, when the tree and grass pollen count in the air is higher. A person may experience a more severe reaction as the pollen count rises.

Allergies Symptoms

An allergic reaction causes inflammation and irritation. However, the specific symptoms will depend on the type of allergen. For example, allergic reactions may occur in the gut, skin, sinuses, airways, eyes, or nasal passages.

Below are some triggers and the symptoms they may cause in people with an allergy.

Dust and Pollen

a. a blocked or congested nose b. itchy eyes and nose c. a runny nose d. swollen and watery eyes c. a cough

Food

a. vomiting b. a swollen tongue c. tingling in the mouth d. swelling of the lips, face, and throat e. stomach cramps f. shortness of breath g. rectal bleeding, mainly in children h. itchiness in the mouth i. diarrhea

Insect Stings

a. wheezing b. significant swelling at the site of the sting c. a sudden drop in blood pressure d. itchy skin e. shortness of breath f. restlessness g. hives, or a red and very itchy rash that spreads across the body h. dizziness i. a cough j. chest tightness

Allergies Medication

a. wheezing b. swelling of the tongue, lips, and face c. a rash e. itchiness

If Symptoms Become Severe, Anaphylaxis can Develop.

Anaphylaxis Symptoms

Anaphylaxis is the severest form of allergic reaction. It is a medical emergency and can be life threatening. Anaphylaxis can develop quickly, with symptoms appearing within minutes or hours of exposure to the allergen. Research suggests that anaphylaxis most commonly affects the skin and respiratory system.

Some Symptoms Include:

a. hives, flushing, and itchiness b. difficulty breathing c. wheezing d. swelling e. low blood pressure f. changes in heart rate g. dizziness and fainting h. loss of consciousness

Recognizing these symptoms can be crucial to receiving timely treatment.

Causes

An allergy starts when your immune system mistakes a normally harmless substance for a dangerous invader. The immune system then produces antibodies that remain on the alert for that particular allergen. When you're exposed to the allergen again, these antibodies can release a number of immune system chemicals, such as histamine, that cause allergy symptoms.

Common allergy triggers include:

1. Airborne allergens, such as pollen, animal dander, dust mites and mold 2. Certain foods, particularly peanuts, tree nuts, wheat, soy, fish, shellfish, eggs and milk 3. Insect stings, such as from a bee or wasp 4. Medications, particularly penicillin or penicillin-based antibiotics 5. Latex or other substances you touch, which can cause allergic skin reactions

When an allergic reaction occurs, allergens bind to antibodies that the body produces called immunoglobin E (IgE). Antibodies combat foreign and potentially harmful substances in the body. Once the allergen binds to IgE, specific types of cells - including mast cells - will release chemicals that trigger the symptoms of the allergic reaction.

Histamine is one of these chemicals. It causes the muscles in the airways and walls of the blood vessels to tighten. It also instructs the lining of the nose to produce more mucus.

Risk Factors

People may have a higher risk of allergies if they are under 18 years old or have a personal or family history of asthma or allergies. Some researchers have suggested that those born by cesarean delivery may also have a higher risk of allergies, as they do not have exposure to the mother’s microbiome during childbirth.

You might be more likely to develop an allergy if you:

1. Have a family history of asthma or allergies, such as hay fever, hives or eczema 2. Are a child 3. Have asthma or another allergic condition

Common Allergens

Potential allergens can appear almost anywhere. In theory, a person can have an allergy to any food. Specific components - such as gluten, the protein present in wheat - can also trigger reactions.

The Eight Foods Most Likely to Cause Allergies Are:

a. eggs, especially the whites b. fish c. milk d. peanuts e. tree nuts f. crustacean shellfish g. wheat h. soy

Some Other Common Allergens Include:

a. pet fur, dander, skin flakes, or saliva b. mold and mildew c. medications, such as penicillin d. insect stings and bites e. cockroaches, caddisflies, midges, and moths f. plant pollens g. household chemicals h. metals, such as nickel, cobalt, chromium, and zinc i. latex

Diagnosis

If a person believes that they may have an allergy, their doctor will be able to help them identify what is causing the reaction.

The Person Should be Ready to Explain:

a. any symptoms they have noticed b. when and how often they occur c. what seems to cause them d. any family history of allergies e. whether or not other household members have a similar reaction f. The doctor may recommend some tests or refer the person to a specialist.

Allergies Tests

Your doctor might also recommend one or both of the following tests. However, be aware that these allergy tests can be falsely positive or falsely negative. Below Are Some Examples of Allergy Tests:

1. Blood tests: These measure the levels of IgE antibodies to specific allergens in the immune system.

2. Skin prick tests: A doctor will prick the skin with a small amount of a possible allergen. If the skin reacts and becomes itchy, red, or swollen, the person may have an allergy.

3. Patch tests: To check for contact eczema, a doctor may tape a metal disc with a small amount of a suspected allergen to the person’s back. They will check for a skin reaction 48 hours later, and then again after 2 days.

If your doctor suspects your problems are caused by something other than an allergy, other tests might help identify - or rule out - other medical problems.

Treatment

The best way to manage an allergy is to avoid the allergen, but this is not always possible. In these cases, medical treatment can help.

Medications

Drugs will not cure an allergy, but they can help a person manage the symptoms of a reaction. Many treatments are available over the counter. Before using a medication, however, a person should speak to a pharmacist or doctor.

Options Include:

1. Antihistamines: These block the action of histamine, which the immune system releases during a reaction. 

2. Decongestants: These can help relieve a blocked nose. 

3. Corticosteroids: These are available in the form of a pill, cream, nasal spray, or inhaler. They help reduce inflammation. 

4. Immunotherapy: This can help a person develop long-term tolerance. A person will take gradually increasing doses of the allergen, either as a tablet or an injection. 

5. Leukotriene receptor antagonists (antileukotrienes): These may help with some allergies if other treatments have not worked. The drugs block some of the chemicals that cause swelling.

Treatment for Anaphylaxis

Anaphylaxis is a potentially life threatening medical emergency that may require hospitalization. If a person has difficulty breathing following exposure to an allergen, they will need immediate treatment. This will usually be in the form of an auto-injector.

Using an Auto-Injector

The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) recommend that people at risk of anaphylaxis carry two epinephrine auto-injectors with them at all times. If one dose is not effective, the person will need the second. Use an auto-injector to deliver a measured dose of epinephrine (adrenaline) within minutes of any severe symptoms appearing. Someone should also call the emergency services.

EpiPen is a Common Auto-Injector. When Using an EpiPen, the FDA Advise People to:

1. Hold the injector in one fist, with the orange end pointing downward. 

2. Remove the blue safety release with the other hand, without bending, twisting, or making any sideways movements. 

3. Swing and push the orange end firmly against the outer thigh, at a right angle to the leg. There will be a click as the needle exits from the orange end. 

4. Hold the needle in place for at least 3 seconds. 

5. After activation, the orange end will cover the needle, and the window will be blocked. If the needle tip is still visible, do not reuse it. 

6. Do not use the thumb to flip off the blue safety release. Always use two hands to prepare the injector.

Incorrectly removing the safety device can cause the injector to release its contents too early. As a result, there may be no medication in the device when a person needs it. The EpiPen is just one type of injector; there are many different versions. All injectors have the same effect, but the ways of using them may differ.

Prevention and Precautions

There is no way to prevent or cure an allergy, but it is possible to prevent a reaction or manage the symptoms if a reaction occurs.

Those at Risk of an Allergic Reaction Should:

a. Take measures to avoid exposure to known allergens. b. Carry two auto-injectors and know how to use them correctly. c. Inform friends, relatives, colleagues, and others about the allergy and how to use the auto-injector. d. Consider wearing a medical identification bracelet with details of the allergy. e. Seek allergy testing to know which substances to avoid.

Prevention

Preventing allergic reactions depends on the type of allergy you have. General measures include the following:

a. Avoid known triggers. Even if you're treating your allergy symptoms, try to avoid triggers. If, for instance, you're allergic to pollen, stay inside with windows and doors closed when pollen is high. If you're allergic to dust mites, dust and vacuum and wash bedding often.

b. Keep a diary. When trying to identify what causes or worsens your allergic symptoms, track your activities and what you eat, when symptoms occur and what seems to help. This may help you and your doctor identify triggers.

c. Wear a medical alert bracelet. If you've had a severe allergic reaction, a medical alert bracelet (or necklace) lets others know that you have a serious allergy in case you have a reaction and you're unable to communicate.

Lifestyle and Home Remedies

Some allergy symptoms improve with home treatment.

A. Sinus congestion and hay fever symptoms. These often improve with saline nasal irrigation - rinsing out the sinuses with a salt and water solution. You can use a neti pot or a specially designed squeeze bottle to flush out thickened mucus and irritants from your nose. However, improper use of a neti pot or other device can lead to infection.

B. Household airborne allergy symptoms. Reduce your exposure to dust mites or pet dander by frequently washing bedding and stuffed toys in hot water, maintaining low humidity, regularly using a vacuum with a fine filter such as a high-efficiency particulate air (HEPA) filter and replacing carpeting with hard flooring.

C. Mold allergy symptoms. Reduce moisture in damp areas, such as your bath and kitchen, by using ventilation fans and dehumidifiers. Fix leaks inside and outside your home.

Conclusions:

Allergies occur when your immune system reacts to a foreign substance - such as pollen, bee venom or pet dander - or a food that doesn't cause a reaction in most people. The severity of allergies varies from person to person and can range from minor irritation to anaphylaxis - a potentially life-threatening emergency. While most allergies can't be cured, treatments can help relieve your allergy symptoms.

Your immune system produces substances known as antibodies. When you have allergies, your immune system makes antibodies that identify a particular allergen as harmful, even though it isn't. When you come into contact with the allergen, your immune system's reaction can inflame your skin, sinuses, airways or digestive system.

Best Regards, Solomon Jacob (Herbalist & Ayurveda Expert)

** Many Clinical Practice Guidelines Suggest that Some People with Chronic Allergic Symptoms May Benefit from Alternative Medicine Treatments!

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reposted from my old blog

i want to post some links so people can better understand what bpd is and what a personality disorder is and is not. then, i’ll do a quick rundown of the 9 bpd symptoms and which ones ethan has/displays and how they manifest for him.

here is a quick ref of some common misconceptions about the disorder. tldr version: a lot of people think bpd isnt real, or that people with bpd are just crazy assholes but its a legitimate mental health problem that has multiple factors including ones that seem to be genetic and environmental.

a personality disorder is defined by the mayo clinic as: “a type of mental disorder in which you have a rigid and unhealthy pattern of thinking, functioning and behaving. A person with a personality disorder has trouble perceiving and relating to situations and people. This causes significant problems and limitations in relationships, social activities, work and school. In some cases, you may not realize that you have a personality disorder because your way of thinking and behaving seems natural to you.” basically, its not that a person has a bad personality in terms of poor character or is intentionally acting in a way that may seem irrational or explosive, but rather that the person has functional differences in how their brain reacts to things. personality is defined as:  “the combination of thoughts, emotions and behaviors that makes you unique. It’s the way you view, understand and relate to the outside world, as well as how you see yourself.” it isn’t just behaviour nor is it something people consciously control 100% of the time. borderline personality disorder has been linked to physical differences in the brain and its functioning, particularly of neurotransmitters and brain chemicals similar to mood disorders like depression. it is a type of neurodivergence, not a skewed moral compass, a choice, or something that people with bpd typically enjoy. the symptoms are very stress inducing and cause a lot of turmoil for the affected person, and when poor coping skills have been ingrained and then create further stress or complications in the person’s life, particularly in interpersonal relationships.

ok now we’re gonna hit the 9 symptoms and 4 domains of bpd and how ethan fits into it. the dsm-5 requires 5 symptoms out of 9 for a person to be diagnosed with bpd. ethan displays, in my opinion, 8/9 symptoms and would be a candidate for diagnosis in my experience.

domain a - emotional regulation 1) “Affective (emotional) instability including intense, episodic emotional anguish, irritability, and anxiety/panic attacks” ✅ generally, this is episodes of intense sadness, anger, irritability, insecurity and self doubt for ethan. he doesnt usually have anxiety or panic attacks, but he has had a few in extremely stressful situations. his symptoms of an anxiety attack tend to lean more towards irritability and emotional outbursts.

2) “Anger that is inappropriate, intense and difficult to control”  ✅ while ethan does become rightfully frustrated when the captain returns the book, the fact that he has what seems like a minute long complete meltdown including hitting/smashing objects, that would be a good example of the kind of situationally inappropriate anger and displays of temper ethan has. his anger spikes rapidly and it makes it hard to control his actions at times.

3) “Chronic feelings of emptiness”  ✅ while we don’t necessarily see this explicitly in game, i’d argue that’s part of his experience of bpd. he often feels a lack of purpose, a lack of self, and substitutes that with his role as the leader of new eden.

theres additional symptoms described as such: “In addition, if you suffer from borderline disorder, you may also experience emotional hyper-reactivity (“emotional storms”),  or emotional responses that are occasionally under- reactive, and frequent episodes of loneliness, and boredom. “ ethan definitely experiences emotional storms, and episodes of loneliness particularly. thats amplified by the fact that hes not particularly close to anyone in new eden besides maybe the judge. between a lack of substantial interpersonal ties with his community and his disorder, his episodes of loneliness are often very intense and distressing.

domain b - harmful impulsive behaviors 4)  “Self-damaging acts such as excessive spending, unsafe and inappropriate sexual conduct, substance abuse, reckless driving, and binge eating”  ✅ ethan deals with this to an extent, but not these specific self damaging behaviours. for ethan, its usually not eating or not sleeping for periods of time, or going on particularly dangerous missions to find the book. hunting also serves as an adrenaline rush, but because it sustains new eden its less impulsive than it is an acceptable way of spending a day

5) “Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, threats, or self-injurious behavior such as cutting or hitting yourself.”  ❌ ethan has suicidal ideations, but doesn’t have a history of engaging in self harm or suicide attempts.  

though not an explicit symptom, dangerous impulsivity that affects the self or others is a common symptom, and one ethan does deal with. his decision to turn new eden over to the highwaymen was in part spurred by his impulsive thinking and behaviour.

domain c - perceptions of self and others 6) “A markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of yourself (your perceptions of yourself, your identity)”  ✅ ethan definitely experiences shifts in this realm. this is part of why he ties himself so strongly to his identity as the leader of new eden in light of his poor relationship with his father (which will come up again). when that is threatened, it sends him spiraling because of his unstable self image. this applies to ethan’s image of himself as a person morally, his worth relative to others, and even how he feels about his body and appearance.

7) “Suspiciousness of others thoughts about you, and even paranoid ideation, or transient and stress related dissociative episodes during which you feel that you or your surroundings appear unreal.”  ✅ ethan is absolutely suspicious of others and it goes beyond his learned suspicion of outsiders that all of new eden seems to have. he is particularly suspicious of his father, and of people within his own community. some of this is completely rational, but it often extends beyond that. he experiences, in my hc, dissociative episodes and bouts of depersonalization where parts of his body don’t feel real or don’t feel attached to him/belonging to him.

“Other symptoms in this Domain include split- or “all-or-nothing” thinking, difficulty “pulling” your thoughts together so they make sense, and rational problem solving, especially in social conflicts.” ethan deals with all of these issues generally speaking. this is in part why his decision to burn down new eden was so extreme; he has difficulty at times with regulating what is rational and what is not (and making nuanced decisions), particularly when under extreme emotional duress like during an explosive emotional episode or mood swing.

domain d - unstable relationships 8)  “You may engage in frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.”✅ this is part of why he looked so hard for the book, why he pushes himself so hard to be the leader of new eden and why he turns on them so aggressively at the end. sometimes this can manifest as lashing out, a way to “get them before they get me” mentality. he has particularly strong responses to feeling abandoned or ignored.

9) “Your relationships may be very intense, unstable, & alternate between the extremes of overidealizing and undervaluing people who are important to you.” ✅ this is definitely something ethan struggles with, especially with his father. this is also why he was willing to let new eden burn and its people suffer with it. he had swung too far back from feeling rejected that went completely into “new eden bad”, undervaluing everyone there to the point that he was able to rationalize destroying the place at the expense of the people who lived there.

none of this is meant to excuse his poor decision making, but in the context of my hc for him, it explains why he can act so irrationally at times, and so extremely. in reality, people with bpd are more likely to hurt themselves through self harm, suicide attempts, impuslive behavior, and self destructive behavior. ethan seed is 1) not a real person and 2) living under some very intense and unusual circumstances with probably the WORST person to parent someone with bpd, joseph “i talk to god and he says your soul is tainted” seed. he also doesn’t know he has a disorder and doesn’t have the knowledge or resources to get mental health treatment for his disorder. as it stands, however, he’s made some pretty bad and pretty horrible decisions, and at times can be a bad person. this doesn’t mean, however, that he is 100% bad or always awful, or that bpd is the sole cause of his behaviours. it isnt. lots of people (including myself) have bpd and we haven’t been directly or indirectly responsible for the deaths of anyone; we’ve never burned down our hometowns or tried to get our fathers killed. ethan’s display of bpd is more of a tool to explain and contextualize his behavior and character rather than to condemn him, condone him, or excuse his actions.

tldr ethan has bpd and so do i thanks 4 listening to my ted talk

Book Club: Tallstar’s Revenge, chpt. 28-36 overview.

A definitive diagnosis, courtesy of two famed armchair psychiatrists:

“Basically, this cat needs CBT.” -- S.

“YEP.” -- K.

This week we’re discussing this chapter through these nine questions. Please feel welcome to do the same and @ailuronymy + use the tag #ailuronymy writing challenge. Don’t forget: next time is the last section, but it’s never too late to jump on board if you want to!  Happy reading and I’m looking forward to seeing your feelings about this book.

1. First impressions?

K. Exhausting to read - like, genuinely, it was a slog. Jake is the only light in all of this badness, and even then.  S. Bad! We've hit Bluestar's Prophecy level and I don't see things turning around. Regrettable. 

2. How did you feel reading this section?

S. Hm. I would say one-part anger, to two-parts bored, with a dash of Love Jake. K. I'd say betrayed if I didn't fully expect this kind of pedantic shit from the Erins already. But like... yeah. I somehow didn't think it could get worse, and yet.

3. What chapter did you find most interesting/moving/effective, and why?

S. The one with Jake and Talltail inside the house as Jake tries to explain things to Talltail and convince him that to get what he wants he has to not be a jerk. K.  Chapter Thirty-One was fun just to see Jake/Talltail hijinks in play. Everything else was mind-numbing.

4. What chapter did you find least interesting/effective/most frustrating, and why?

S. Uhhh, all of them but especially the huge chunks of description while he was travelling and running around doing whatever the hell. In every way but physically, I was asleep. K. Yeah, same. The first chapter of this section has everything I hate: swaths of dry, meaningless descriptions, Shadowclan being vaguely mean, and Sandgorse Coming Back To Menace Me Personally. All bad.

5. Is there a passage that stuck in your mind–for good, or not-so-good reasons? What is it, and why did it stand out? Try breaking it down and analysing what this passage does and how.

S. For me, it was a specific line: “I just say yes to everything, he likes that” --  I LOVE Jake. S. It was so cute, and it captured such a nice relationship between Jake and his person. It also reminded me a lot of talking with the old boy, because probably we're just saying, "that's really interesting" to each other back and forth. 

K.  I agree. The line just before that is: “He is like kin,” Jake snapped back. “I’ve known him my whole life. He makes sure I’m warm and fed. And I sit with him and keep him company when he’s alone. We talk to each other.” K. It's just? Sweet?? K.  Like, there's SO MUCH hate on Twolegs in Warriors for some level of understandable reasoning, but it felt so good to see Jake actively defending his owner's role in his life.

S. Yeah, I was like, okay Erin Hunter, so sometimes you get it. And then they turn around and go straight back to self-wedgietown and I'm like, really. S. On that note:  S. I guess for not-good reasons, it has to be the kitty litter scene. S. Erin Hunter wins the gold in the "what the fuck are you doing" event, yet again.

6. The story has taken a major shift in setting and location. Do you like this new space more, or do you miss the clan? Why do you think you feel this way?

K. Bad! I want to be back with the Clans, please! It was terrible there but at least it wasn't whatever the fuck is happening here! K. That said, I did enjoy the house scenes. Just as a treat.

S. I was very curious to see how they were going to explore the outer world, but it was a huge let down. They either drowned it in empty, boring description, or just kind of overlooked it. They didn't go for the nice medium of interesting vignettes the way I (foolishly) had hoped for. S. More for me, I guess.

7. Last week we talked about what lessons we could learn from the text. This week, think about what lesson you would most want to teach Talltail at this junction in his life. What advice does he most need to hear?

K. PLEASE STOP BEING THE WORST K. But for real: hm. I guess like. You need to learn to let go of shit, my man. Sometimes bad things happen and you have to put them aside or else those feelings take over your life.

S. Yeah, I'm thinking along the same lines. I think Talltail really needs to learn how to separate his thoughts from his self, because he's clearly very invested in the narrative he's telling himself. He's had a history of negative self-view (encouraged by his environment) and it's going to be really beneficial for him to practice genuine mindfulness and recognise that a feeling is a feeling, not a command to be followed. A thought isn't you, it's a thought. You're allowed to have both--in fact, can't stop yourself from having both--but you don't have to believe in them or be controlled by them. S. What's motivating him is guilt, which often comes from shame and feelings of powerlessness. He's trying to take control and he feels this narrative he's telling himself is the solution. S.  So my advice would be basically that: you're not your thoughts or your feelings. Those just happen to you. Imagine them like weather, always changing, coming and going. S. And when you practice that enough, you'll become aware of how constructed it all is. You'll realise when you're acting through your emotions without being aware of them. For example, like this whole quest.

K. Oh, also as an add-on: obviously a lot of self-care and putting yourself on the path towards bettering yourself comes from choices only you can make, but listening to your support system and truly hearing what they have to say is also important! K. Talltail has had a lot of people around him trying to vouch for better options he could take to better himself, offering to listen and support him, and he's been too in his emotions or too angry to listen to them.

S. Basically, this cat needs CBT.

K. YEP.

S. I'd also like to offer advice to Jake. S. I want to tell him that he's right to stand up for himself. I want him to know that if someone he likes denigrates him or mocks him or views him as inferior, they are not being a good friend or partner and he deserves to have someone who builds him up, supports him, and respects him. S. That feels important to me, given how fast he seems to have fallen for someone behaving so poorly towards him. S. Like, not to be meta, but that's a Big issue in queer community in the real world.

K. It's true! K. People get so desparate for connection that it's easy to let a lot of red flags go unnoticed for the sake of keeping something going.

S.  Queer folk believing that they're unlovable, so they settle for anyone who gives them attention or insinuates that maybe they're okay. Queer folk feels so desperately, deeply isolated and lonely, that they decide to get with someone inappropriate or even toxic because they're terrified that they'll never find anyone else, that it's their only chance at finding a romantic partner. S. Exactly. I want Jake to know that he's loveable and valuable, and that having high standards and expectations and healthy boundaries for a partner and romantic relationship is good and important for finding the right relationship and achieving the kind of happiness he's looking for.

8. Think back over the book so far (including this section). Out of all the characters, who do you relate to the most? Is this because the character is similar to you in personality, or because their experiences are familiar to you–or a bit of both?

K. In its own way, I think I can find aspects of Tallpaw relatable. Wanting to direct your anger at people over things you can't change or take back is something that's pretty human. K. But on the flipside: I would like to think that I could relate to someone like Dawnstripe, too? In being able to look back on those moments with an adult's perspective and be able to go "Hey, listen, I've got your back, but also: have some advice that you really need to hear."

S. Same hat! S. I was also going to say Dawnstripe. Out of all the characters, I relate most to her--probably because she's a teacher! I also got wildly mad at that stunt Sandgorse pulled with the tunnel, and Shrewpaw in that fight, so I feel like Dawnstripe is definitely a character that speaks to my experience of this book. S. We can make our first Book Club merch: we are all Dawnstripe.

K. YES. I’m okay with this. K. The back of the shirt says "heatherstar please call me back" in tiny font.

S. GOD. Iconic. 

9. We’re on the second last section of this novel. Next week, we read the end! But before we get there, what do you think will happen? If you’ve already read this novel before, use this space to write what you remember feeling at the end last time–did you feel happy, sad, disappointed, angry? Do you think you’ll feel differently this time?

K.  Sandgorse is going to personally come into my home and destroy me on the spot with bad characterization, and that's a threat from Erin Hunter herself.

S. Yeah, you were very right when you predicted that he'd be giving Tallstar one of his lives, I think.

K. Talltail hasn't even had an apprentice yet! We're just gonna fast-track his entire warrior-hood and go straight to leadership once he gets back to Windclan, I think.

S. Yep! Just like they did for Bluestar. S. Everyone knows being a deputy is a boring, worthless job and the only thing that matters is being leader.

K. Sigh.

S. Obviously, Talltail isn't going to kill Sparrow, and Jake and Talltail will have some kind of sad goodbye, and then Talltail will go back to Windclan like, "sorry I left, I had a crisis."

K. Yeah, and they'll all go "Oh hey dude, thanks for showing back up, we weren't too worried"

S.  "We barely noticed you were gone." [zoom in to Talltail's dead eyes as he looks at the camera] S. Also, what's the bet that they're going to manifest some drama over Talltail with Reena and Jake? 

K. Oh, I'd say the chances of that are relatively high. K. It'll happen for like 1.5 chapters. K. And then be ignored.

S. Like, what's the bet they're going to try to shove a heterosexual plot in there and have Reena be all over him and mad that Jake's even there?

K. Yep yep yep. K. And then Talltail will snap out of it to brood more.

S.  Which is going to be wild given that the last time Reena saw Talltail, he was a huge prick. S. But she's a woman, he's a man, can Erin Hunter make it any more obvious?

Final notes:

K. Please. Unleash thy rage. S. From my notes: S.  "Erin Hunter is fucking wild, we don’t NEED the level of realism “taking a dump in front of my soon-to-be boyfriend,” holy fuck, great first date, you fucking crazy people" K. IT'S BAD!!!!!!!! IT'S SO BAD!!!!!!!!!! S. I literally had to stop reading to laugh for a full minute. S. I was like, you've got to be kidding me, you've got to be kidding me. Just a desperate chant. S. But they were not kidding me! S. And what makes it so egregious is that it's in such fucking detail. S. If this was Watership Down, a scene would not be ruined by: "He passed hraka by some ragwort before hopping over to him. "All right," said Pine. "What do you need?"" Like, it's not disruptive and doesn't ping to change the tone or like, emotional calibre of the story. S. Jake giving Talltail step-by-step instructions on how to relieve himself while watching was absolutely way off.

K. I am taking a fucking screenshot because look at this. Look at how horrendous this looks. This is the visual, writing equivalent of staring at a desert wasteland full of nothing. K. [screenshot of several pages of description] K. Pictured above: NOTHING IS FUCKING HAPPENING S. I KNOW S. It was just barren expanses of running around that did nothing, achieved nothing, moved the story forward no amount. K. It is just. So monotonous. It's dry, and boring, and it feels so lifeless. K. It's the equivalent of fucking... fourth grade bullshit. "Talltail walked to the log. He jumped on it and used it to cross the river. He leaped off and continued on through the grass. Then he saw a moth." S. But yeah, it was unbearable. My eyes glazed over and I skimmed just about all of it. S. Other notes: S.  “I’m just skimming all this description, I don’t care, I’ve got teacher-brain on and all I’m thinking is, this could have been summary [...] and there’s so much description again, it’s just not interesting! I don’t know why people think “action” is interesting. It’s barely interesting for more than two minutes in an action FILM, why do you think a book is going to be somehow more successful at being an impressive spectacle than a film, my god, learn your goddamn medium”

K. SANDGORSE STAY DEAD 2K20 S. Note: "I fucking hate this bullshit ghost of Sandgorse thing. I can’t believe they killed off the character I loathed just to bring him back for reasons of cryptic bullshit" K. The fact that his ghost keeps fucking showing up is killing ME K. ESPECIALLY because he's gonna come back like "Son...... this is not the way...... Im proud of you.........." K. And Talltail will go "oh shit oh fuck you're right" S. "Daddy loved me all along. It's my fault for not realising that.” S. Literally all I can think about when Sandgorse shows up in these chapters is that bit in Twilight where Edward Cullen's force ghost or whatever is like, lie.

S. Because of how Talltail's behaving, I actually really do not vibe Jake and Talltail's relationship at all. K. Oh?? Go off, my good bitch. S. It pings badly for me that Jake meets this guy, who's an arsehole, and then he helps this guy, who's still being a racist dick. Then he gets feelings about this guy in a really short period of time, despite minimal changes in his behaviour towards him. K. Oh boy, yeah, that's all true. S. Not to be like Twilight again about it but like: this is not a great start to a relationship. This is actually a red flag. Someone who doesn't respect you and is just a prick and is using you as a means to an end, is not someone you should be attracted to. The fact that Jake is says something about how he's doing emotionally, and it really conflicts for me that someone with such a certain sense of self and value would find Talltail even remotely attractive. I don't believe it.

K. Jake’s superpower is just Being Kind & Having Reasonable Thoughts. “Aren’t you tired of going ape shit, Talltail? Don’t you just wanna be nice?” S. God, you're so right. S. I am super looking forward to writing Jake and Talltail's Hot Girl Summer, though. K. Which like, if Talltail had better things to be frustrated about, I would love Jake to fill his role of like... the complimentary half to Talltail, in that regard. K. Talltail is just SO in his head about EVERYTHING and Jake is just living in the moment! S. He’s vibing! K.  Lmao also from the notes: Jake shifted his paws. “I know I’m a kittypet. I’m happy with that.” He began to head down the slope that led into the valley. “It doesn’t mean I can’t walk a different path for a while.” — Talltail, recently shoved back into the closet, randomly befriending a comfortably out bisexual otter… who’d have thought S. Canon Talltail is a hot mess and that's Erin's fault, but these two are good. K. more highlights: The hunting scene… sharing together… “Only if it’s offered.” “I’m offering.” How the fuck did the Erins stumble into speaking in tongues and the translation coming out as Gay Rights S. "It's rotten work." "Not if I'M OFFERING." K. Talltail’s mew trailed away. He didn’t want Jake to go. He searched the kittypet’s green gaze. “You don’t have to come.” “I want to!” Jake shifted his paws, adding quietly, “If you don’t mind, that is.” Talltail glanced at the ground, feeling hot. “I don’t mind,” he murmured. “It’s good to have company.” — LIKE THEY REALLY ARE JUST LIKE THIS K. Oh man I have some other good notes: I can’t believe that Talltail is SO edgy and in his feelings that he can’t even stomach simulated affection to this random human. “Pretend it’s a tree” DUDE just let yourself GO, release your inhibitions  K. God can you just imagine K. Talltail finding Jake who gets him to calm down by getting so fucking cat high S.  Just like, "here dude fucking chew this plant and maybe you’ll calm down." K.  Talltail: I want revenge :'( Jake: bro. shut up and eat this leaf

  K.  “Please can I go outside?” he mewed in his most plaintive voice.” — Talltail just sounds like a sad little Victorian orphan. I can’t believe all the Miette goofs are canon and real. You kick Talltail like the football? Oh! Oh! Jail for Starclan! Jail for Starclan for one-thousand years! S. I know. I was losing it that we basically predicted the whole scene with Jake and his person. S. "I taught him how to say food but he's very bad at it." S. That was probably the most enjoyable moment in the entire section for me. S.  Makes you really wonder why the fuck pet cats have human-given names, though. K. FUCK IT DIDN'T EVEN HIT ME THAT UHHH K. THAT'S WACK HUH ISNT IT S. It's so wack.

K. I want us to just break something down for a hot moment S. I love to break it down with you. K. Talltail's plan is... bad S. Oh, it's dumb as hell. K. Like I'm imagining all of this from Sparrow's perspective K. Like it's one of those podcast horror stories S. I have that note too: this dude has no idea. K. "So one summer I accidentally got into a bad accident, and the guy I was with didn't make it out. His kid is really broken up about it and is pretty pissed at me, and straight up ignores me or glares at me the rest of the summer. Fast forward a few months and suddenly he shows up again out of the blue, and now says he wants to stay with me and my family. Says he's changed and that he wants to spend more time with us. THEN HE PLANS MY MURDER" S. It's really funny to imagine Talltail staring into the distance like, "my nemesis, you killed my father, prepare to die." And then smash cut to a completely oblivious Sparrow like, taking a nap. Having a snack with his friends. Smelling a flower.

S. Note:  "I’m so unbelievably bored of Talltail having the same three stupid thoughts over and over and over" S. “The heartless rogue was going to pay for destroying his life” GOD SKIP S. “Twolegs are rabbit-brains.” get some new material for fuck’s sake S. His internal monologue is now entirely on par with Bluefur's I feel like? K. it is!!!! it is!!!!!! K. It's the same quality! It's just so disappointing that a book that started off like. K. SOMEHOW better than BP. K. Just swiftly dunked us back in the can. S. They just beat you to death over and over with the same inane conversations, the same unconvincing internal monologue. You could have a better book by literally just cutting this one in half. Just edit out all the repetitive bullshit. S. But they need to reach word count, so they don't. They shove more in, because there has to be 45 chapters, because it's a super edition. K. It's disgusting. I know y'all have a business to run but also If It Weren't For The Laws Of This Land, S. It really reframes for me all the people who were like, "it's the best super edition!" doesn’t it? K. YEAH S. Like, yikes.  K. Like it's better than a lot of super editions and by a lot I mean Surprise, They're All The Same Fucking Book, K. How do you write the same book like forty times and never get it right, like, once.

HIV(AIDS)

HIV stands for human immunodeficiency virus. It is a virus that attacks cells that help the body fight infection, specifically the white blood cells called CD4 cells. HIV destroys these CD4 cells (T cells), making a person more vulnerable to other infections and diseases such as tuberculosis and some cancers. It is spread by contact with certain bodily fluids of a person with HIV, most often spreads through unprotected sex (without a condom or HIV medicine to prevent or treat HIV) with a person who has HIV. It may also spread by sharing drug needles or through contact with the blood of a person who has HIV. Women can give it to their babies during pregnancy or childbirth. First identified in 1981, HIV is the cause of one of humanity’s deadliest and most persistent epidemics.

The human body can’t get rid of HIV and no effective HIV cure exists. So, once you have HIV, you have it for life. However, by taking HIV medicine (called antiretroviral therapy or ART), people with HIV can live long and healthy lives and prevent transmitting HIV to their sexual partners. In addition, there are effective methods to prevent getting HIV through sex or drug use, including pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP) and post-exposure prophylaxis (PEP).

Without treatment, the infection might progress to an advanced disease stage where it reduces the number of CD4 cells (T cells) in the body, making the person more likely to get other infections or infection-related cancers. Over time, HIV can destroy so many of these cells that the body can’t fight off infections and disease, this stage is called AIDS (acquired immunodeficiency syndrome). However, modern advances in treatment mean that people living with HIV in countries with good access to healthcare very rarely develop AIDS once they are receiving treatment.

Causes:

Scientists identified a type of chimpanzee in Central Africa as the source of HIV infection in humans. Scientists suspect the simian immunodeficiency virus (SIV) jumped from chimps to humans when people consumed infected chimpanzee meat or when they came into contact with their infected blood. Studies show that HIV may have jumped from apes to humans as far back as the late 1800s. Over decades, the virus slowly spread across Africa over the course of several decades and later into other parts of the world. We know that the virus has existed in the United States since at least the mid to late 1970s.

To become infected with HIV, infected blood, semen or vaginal secretions must enter your body. This can happen by having sex, you may become infected if you have any kind of sex with an infected partner whose blood, semen or vaginal secretions enter your body. By sharing needles, sharing contaminated IV drug paraphernalia (needles and syringes) puts you at high risk of HIV and other infectious diseases, such as hepatitis. The risk of HIV transmitting through blood transfusions is extremely low in countries that have effective screening procedures in place for blood donations. Infected mothers can pass the virus on to their babies during pregnancy or delivery or through breast-feeding. Mothers who are HIV-positive and get treatment for the infection during pregnancy can significantly lower the risk to their babies.

How HIV doesn't spread

You can't become infected with HIV through ordinary contact. That means you can't catch HIV or AIDS by hugging, kissing, dancing or shaking hands with someone who has the infection. HIV doesn't spread through the air, water nor insect bites.

Symptoms:

After the first month or so, HIV enters the clinical latency stage. This stage can last from a few years to a few decades. Some people don’t have any symptoms during this time, while others may experience a flu-like illness within 2 to 4 weeks after infection (Stage 1 HIV infection). But some people may not feel sick during this stage. Flu-like symptoms include fever, chills, rash, night sweats, muscle aches, sore throat, fatigue, swollen lymph nodes, or mouth ulcers. Other symptoms may include dark splotches under the skin or inside the mouth, nose, or eyelids, sores, spots, or lesions of the mouth and tongue, genitals, or anus, bumps, lesions, or rashes of the skin, recurrent or chronic diarrhea, rapid weight loss, neurologic problems such as trouble concentrating, memory loss, and confusion, and anxiety and depression.

HIV symptoms at this stage may come and go, or they may progress rapidly. This progression can be slowed substantially with treatment. With the consistent use of this antiretroviral therapy, chronic HIV can last for decades and will likely not develop into AIDS, if treatment was started early enough.

For the most part, infections by other bacteria, viruses, fungi, or parasites cause the more severe symptoms of HIV. These conditions tend to progress further in people who live with HIV than in individuals with healthy immune systems. A correctly functioning immune system would protect the body against the more advanced effects of infections, and HIV disrupts this process.

As with the early stage, HIV is still infectious during this time even without symptoms and can be transmitted to another person. However, the only way to know for sure whether you have HIV is to get tested. If someone has these symptoms and thinks they may have been exposed to HIV, it’s important that they get tested.

For the most part, symptoms of HIV are similar in men and women. However, symptoms they experience overall may differ based on the different risks men and women face if they have HIV. Both men and women with HIV are at increased risk of sexually transmitted infections (STIs). However, women may be less likely than men to notice small spots or other changes to their genitals. In addition, women with HIV are at increased risk of recurrent vaginal yeast infections, other vaginal infections, including bacterial vaginosis, pelvic inflammatory disease (PID), menstrual cycle changes, and human papillomavirus (HPV), which can cause genital warts and lead to cervical cancer.

Diagnosis:

The only way to know for sure if you have HIV is to get tested. Knowing your status is important because it helps you make healthy decisions to prevent getting or transmitting HIV. Testing is relatively simple. You can ask your health care provider for an HIV test. Many medical clinics, substance abuse programs, community health centers, and hospitals offer them too. You can also buy a home testing kit at a pharmacy or online, however, such results should only be considered as a full diagnosis following review and confirmation by a qualified health worker.

Knowledge of one’s HIV-positive status has two important benefits. People who test positive can take steps to get treatment, care and support before symptoms appear, which can prolong life and prevent health complications for many years. And people who are aware of their status can take precautions to prevent the transmission of HIV to others.

HIV can be diagnosed through blood or saliva testing. Available tests include, antigen/antibody tests. These tests usually involve drawing blood from a vein. Antigens are substances on the HIV virus itself and are usually detectable in the blood within a few weeks after exposure to HIV. Antibody tests. These tests look for antibodies to HIV in blood or saliva. Most rapid HIV tests, including self-tests done at home, are antibody tests. Antibody tests can take three to 12 weeks after you're exposed to become positive. Nucleic acid tests (NATs). These tests look for the actual virus in your blood (viral load). They also involve blood drawn from a vein. If you might have been exposed to HIV within the past few weeks, your doctor may recommend NAT. NAT will be the first test to become positive after exposure to HIV. Talk to your doctor about which HIV test is right for you. If any of these tests are negative, you may still need a follow-up test, weeks to months later to confirm the results.

Treatment:

Currently, there's no cure for HIV/AIDS. Once you have the infection, your body can't get rid of it. However, there are many medications that can control HIV and prevent complications. These medications are called antiretroviral therapy (ART). Everyone diagnosed with HIV should be started on ART, regardless of their stage of infection or complications. A person living with HIV can reduce their viral load to such a degree that it is no longer detectable in a blood test. After assessing a number of large studies, the CDC concluded that individuals who have no detectable viral load “have effectively no risk of sexually transmitting the virus to an HIV-negative partner.” Medical professionals refer to this as undetectable = untransmittable (U=U). The person still has HIV, but the virus is not visible in test results. However, the virus is still in the body. And if that person stops taking antiretroviral therapy, the viral load will increase again and the HIV can again start attacking CD4 cells. People living with HIV generally take a combination of medications called highly active antiretroviral therapy (HAART) or combination antiretroviral therapy (cART). This approach has the best chance of lowering the amount of HIV in the blood. There are many ART options that combine three HIV medications into one pill, taken once daily.

There are a number of subgroups of antiretrovirals, such as:

- Protease inhibitors, protease is an enzyme that HIV needs to replicate. These medications bind to the enzyme and inhibit its action, preventing HIV from making copies of itself. These include:

o   atazanavir/cobicistat (Evotaz)

o   lopinavir/ritonavir (Kaletra)

o   darunavir/cobicistat (Prezcobix) 

- Integrase inhibitors: HIV needs integrase, another enzyme, to infect T cells. This drug blocks integrase. These are often the first line of treatment due to their effectiveness and limited side effects for many people.

o   elvitegravir (Vitekta)

o   dolutegravir (Tivicay)

o   raltegravir (Isentress)

o   Nucleoside/nucleotide reverse transcriptase inhibitors (NRTIs)

- This class of drugs, also referred to as “nukes,” interfere with HIV as it tries to replicate:

o   abacavir (Ziagen)

o   lamivudine/zidovudine (Combivir)

o   emtricitabine (Emtriva)

o   tenofovir disproxil (Viread)

o   Non-nucleoside reverse transcriptase inhibitors (NNRTIs) that work in a similar way to NRTIs, making it more difficult for HIV to replicate.

There are also emergency HIV pills, or post-exposure prophylaxis

If an individual believes they have been exposed to the virus within the last 3 days, anti-HIV medications, called post-exposure prophylaxis (PEP), may be able to stop infection. Take PEP as soon as possible after potential contact with the virus. PEP is a treatment lasting a total of 28 days, and physicians will continue to monitor for HIV after the completion of the treatment.

People will often use a combination of these drugs to suppress HIV. A medical team will adapt the exact mix of drugs to each individual. HIV treatment is usually permanent, lifelong, and based on routine dosage. A person living with HIV must take pills on a regular schedule. Each class of ARVs has different side effects, but possible common side effects include:

nausea

fatigue

diarrhea

headache

skin rashes

When people get HIV and don’t receive treatment, they will typically progress through three stages of disease. Treatment can slow or prevent progression from one stage to the next. Also, people with HIV who take HIV medicine as prescribed and get and keep an undetectable viral load have effectively no risk of transmitting HIV to an HIV-negative partner through sex.

Stage 1: Acute HIV infection

Within 2 to 4 weeks after infection with HIV, people may experience a flu-like illness, which may last for a few weeks. This is the body’s natural response to infection. When people have acute HIV infection, they have a large amount of virus in their blood and are very contagious. But people with acute infection are often unaware that they’re infected because they may not feel sick right away or at all. To know whether someone has acute infection, either an antigen/antibody test or a nucleic acid (NAT) test is necessary. If you think you have been exposed to HIV through sex or drug use and you have flu-like symptoms, seek medical care and ask for a test to diagnose acute infection.

Stage 2: Clinical latency (HIV inactivity or dormancy)

This period is sometimes called asymptomatic HIV infection or chronic HIV infection. During this phase, HIV is still active but reproduces at very low levels. People may not have any symptoms or get sick during this time. For people who aren’t taking medicine to treat HIV, this period can last a decade or longer, but some may progress through this phase faster. People who are taking medicine to treat HIV (ART) as prescribed may be in this stage for several decades. It’s important to remember that people can still transmit HIV to others during this phase. However, people who take HIV medicine as prescribed and get and keep an undetectable viral load (or stay virally suppressed) have effectively no risk of transmitting HIV to their HIV-negative sexual partners. At the end of this phase, a person’s viral load starts to go up and the CD4 cell count begins to go down. As this happens, the person may begin to have symptoms as the virus levels increase in the body, and the person moves into Stage 3.

Stage 3: Acquired immunodeficiency syndrome (AIDS)

AIDS is the most severe phase of HIV infection. People with AIDS have such badly damaged immune systems that they get an increasing number of severe illnesses, called opportunistic illnesses.

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