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s4ijoh · 3 years

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meet me halfway (across the globe). suna rintarou

SUNA RINTAROU X GN! READER

GENRE: slice of life; facetime call; fluff

WORD COUNT: 1.4k+

WARNINGS: established relationship; mentions of stress

in which suna is somewhere far away…

[10:22] rin: “you up?”

[10:23] rin: “big game tomorrow morning.”

[10:23] rin: “cant’ sleep. need to see u.”

the phone buzzing on the bedside table startles you out of your morning somnolence. the empty spot in bed next to you feels a weird type of unfamiliar. you drowsily stretch your arms out, reaching for the ringing device while dragging out a loud yawn.

you are taken aback by surprise once you take a look at the numbers displayed on your phones lock screen: 10:25am. its already past midnight in his timezone. he shouldn’t be up this late.

swiping through your phone's screen, you waste no time in dialling his number once you come across the green facetime icon and luckily, it is only a brief moment until he is picking up and oh boy are you met with a sight to behold. if it werent for your concern, you could’ve just stayed there, marvelling in awe at your boyfriend, sitting shirtless against the headboard in all his glory. his pale skin is gleaming a beautiful shade of orange under the dim light of the table lamp thus reminiscing a statue made of gold; his tousled, black feathery hair sticking in all different directions yet with just a few loose strands cascading down the sides of his temple and framing his face in such way that made him look effortlessly handsome.

he looked as beautiful as ever. however, despite the apparent picture perfect scenario, you would be a fool not to notice the clear signs of restlessness showcased on his features nonetheless.

“sorry, did i wake you?” suna apologizes tenderly with a doting frown on his face once he notices your lids still heavy with vestiges of somnolence just barely peeking from the bottom of the screen. your phone is propped up on your chest, the lower half of your face hidden away from him as you refuse to get up from your comfortable position laying under the warm blankets.

“dont worry about it, baby.” you hurriedly push his apologies aside whilst rubbing the sleep off your eyes to try and not make him feel too bad about it “you know you can call me anytime. im always waiting for you on the other end whenever you need me”

he offers you a subtle smile, although its odd — its weak, not sincere. it is not the usual signature smirk with a teasing remark on the side you earn whenever you say something cheesy. it is also hard to miss the darkening spots growing under his tired eyes, his usual sparkly green orbs now nearing dull, heavy with underlying frustration. it made it all crystal clear.

rintarou is not an outwardly emotional person and definitely not one to voice his concerns. his pleas for help were often left unspoken and it takes a sharp eye to see through his unwavering surface. for the most part, the blank expression he's seen wearing most of the time did a pretty good job at shielding his feelings yet his eyes often betrayed him.

he had taken off a couple days ago to somewhere foreign for an important match. you know how sometimes, before a decisive match takes place, he lets pressure get to that pretty head of his and relies on you to keep him grounded and soothe his racing mind. for the longest time, he had been capable of keeping his emotions at bay and deal with his troubles on his own but ever since you came around, rintarou found himself growing selfish and craving your comfort, finding solace in your reassuring words and warm embrace.

you miss the old days when your lover was just at an arm's length and all it took was for him to say the word for you to drop everything and come running to his house, to hold him in your arms and make it all feel better. you remember people in highschool claiming suna was bound to fade into the background given his lazy tendencies and lack of enthusiasm. (what a waste of potential, they would say) suna would shrug. he never payed any mind to it — you praised him on his unshakable nature. it should be a major ego boost for rintarou to know that, not that many years later and against the spiteful tongues of some of your classmates, he made a name for himself as a first division professional volleyball player, thus proving them wrong.

however, he still has quite a few demons to tame inside his head. one of which was self-doubt.

you let your eyes roam his tired features for a moment. “you need to get out of your head, rin”

suna knew you could read him like an open book. you made him feel vulnerable under your scrutinizing gaze. he felt exposed. to have you stare directly into his naked soul was intimidating, more so than to have you stare at his nude body, like you have done dozens of times before. but just like you did with his body, you had taken your time to get to know every corner of his soul. you knew him like the palm of your hand — both mind and body.

“i know.” he tears his gaze away from yours, looking down while running a hand through his disheveled hair and down to scratch his neck in frustration. “tell me how have your days been?”

the silence of his hotel room was eating him whole and he needed you to distract him. most of the time, suna was fond of the silence. after a rough day he found comfort in laying down in his bed and basking in the quiet. he found peace in it. sometimes it was in the quietness of his own little world that he found the solution to his problems. but upon your arrival to that mysterious world of his, your voice soon became his favorite sound. he craved you to fill in the silence that he once treasured.

and so he listens. suna listens as you talk throughout the night (who would’ve guessed you had just woken up), rambling on about your days as other trivial things — namely how you could never get used to starting the day without his morning cuddles. he found it endearing how you seemed to speak enough for the two of you. he was a man of few words so he was lucky to have found someone to fill in the silence for him. and so he listens until his eyes start progressively feeling heavy, your voice lulling him to sleep.

“hey, baby” he calls in a barely audible raspy voice. suna lays down on his side under the cold unwelcoming bed sheets, holding his phone next to his face on the pillow “put your pretty face on the phone”

a soft smile crawls its way up to your flushed face at his sugar coated words, his voice although drowsy sounding sweeter than saccharin. you were so lost in the lovely image of him that you failed to notice that your face was barely on the frame, just your eyes peeking shyly from the bottom of the screen.

you shuffle in bed, turning on your side to mirror his position. its almost as if you’re not a hundred miles apart and he's lying right next to you, if you squint hard enough.

“there you are” he mumbles weakly under his breath, a loving smile on his pillowy rosy lips that you miss dearly.

his eyes appear weary through the screen yet he never fails to look at you with the utmost love. dumbfounded, you wordlessly stare at each other as you fall into a comfortable silence that is however, filled with a hundred unspoken words.

his love is quiet, hesitant at times but never shallow. he felt deeply and feared he wasn't the best to put it into words so sometimes, his love, it hides beyond lingering stares and shy touches. it remained unuttered most of the time but words are futile when he has shown his devotion to you countless times before.

“hey rin. you think you can go to sleep, now?” you notice him fighting the urge to let his eyes close shut, battling to stay awake for a little longer to try and memorize your face for later so he can dream of you tonight.

he simply nods with his eyes shut, too sleepy to pronounce a single word.

“call me tomorrow after the game, alright?” he nods yet again, noticeably starting to drift away at last but not before muttering a quiet i love you before the last hint of consciousness leaves his body, eliciting a tender smile from you.

“i love you, rin. ill meet you in your dreams tonight.”

[a/n]: so! writing this fic made me realize that im undeniably in love with suna and he now owns a 51% share of my heart. (oikawa. ill never forget you. its not you its me (suna) maybe its time i move on. 🤒 jk jk ill have both pls and ty 🥰)

anyways ye i guess im back from my mini hiatus (as a full suna whore) :))

this is honestly a word dump, initially this was supposed to be like... what.. 500 words long? i just thought of the prompt “put your pretty face on the phone” and the rest is just me pouring my love for him into words ah-ha. (you probably noticed how it is unnecessarily cheesy 🙄)

just for the record!! i havent finished season 4 just yet 🐸 lmao. i took inspiration off of nooras (@/inarzki) characterization of suna because she was the one who made me fall in love with him in the first place.

#suna rintaro x reader #suna rintarou #suna x reader #suna fluff #suna rintarou x reader #suna rintarou fluff #haikyuu x reader

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abrakophile · 3 years

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I was looking through a bunch of junk and found some letters from my dad when he was in the army. I’m afraid I'll accidently toss them, so maybe I’ll put them here?

OPs Name JUNE 02 03

I LOVE YOU

THIS IS MY NAME IN KURDISH

*my dad wrote his first and last name, and under it, in Kurdish*

ILL TRY AND FIND OUT HOW TO WRITE YOUR NAME AND MOMS TOO.

ITS STILL HOT. I WORK AND READ BOOKS TO PASS THE TIME AWAY.

HOW ARE YOU DOING? GOOD I HOPE. WHAT DO YOU DO FOR FUN? DO YOU EVER HANG OUT WITH YOUR FRIENDS? TELL THEM I SAID “WASSUP?” NAH, DONT TELL THEM. TELL ME WHAT YOUR THINKING. I’M TRYING TO SEND YOU SOME MORE OF MY DRAWINGS. WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DRAW YOU? DID YOU LIKE THE DRAWING I SENT YOU OF YOU NAME? ITS ALRIGHT IF YOU DIDNY. JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU DO WANT ME TO DRAW YOU.

(Flip Page)

THIS IS WEIRD! (The page does not have lines on the left side of it) i WONDER WHAT HAPPENED TO THIS PIECE OF PAPER. HaHa

I MISS YOU ALOT. PLEASE SOND ME SOME MORE OF YOUR DRAWINGS, YOU CAN DRAW ME ANYTHING YOU WANT TO.

ARE YOU BEING GOOD FOR YOUR MOM? ITS NICE IF YOU HELP HER OUT WHILE I’M AWAY.

HAVE YOU BEEN ANYPLACE NEW? HOW IS SCHOOL GOING FOR YOU? IS MOMMY GOING TO SCHOOL? I KNOW I WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL WHEN I GET BACK. HOPEFULLY I GET THE CHANCE TO LEARN EVERYTHING THAT THERE IS TO KNOW. THAT WOULD BE GREAT.

ALSO, ID LIKE TO DO SOME FISHING? HOW ABOUT YOU? I GUESS ILL END HERE. BE GOOD AND STAY IN SCHOOL. AND JUST SAY NO TO DRUGS.

THEYRE BAD.

I LIVE YOU OP

*hearts and x’s* DADDY

---

(I don’t know if all these pages are in order or if it’s missing any, but this was the letter in the same stack as the last but this one was for my mom. In some places his indents indicate passage of time.)

I HAVENT HAD ANY TIME TO WRITE SINCE WEVE BEEN ON THE ROAD, NOT TO MENTION THAT WE CAN’T SEND MAIL WHEN WE’RE MOVING ALL THE TIME.

WEVE BEEN ON THE ROAD FOR ABOUT FIVE OR SIX DAYS, I HAVENT REALLY BEEN COUNTING. I KNOW I TOLD YOU THAT WE’D BE IN KUWAIT FOR A WHILE, BUT THAT WAS SO YOU WOULDNT BE WORRIED. I’M GOING TO KEEP THIS LETTER THOUGH, TILL I GET HOME.

ABOUT TWO NIGHTS AGO, WE DROVE THROUGH BAGDHAD, SOMEBODY SAID THAT THERE WERE PILED BODIES, I DONT KNOW IF IT WAS TRUE.

AND I GUESS YESTERDAY, A COUPLE OF PEOPLE SAID THEY SAW A MISSILE OR SOEMTHING SHOT AT US. I WAS TRYING TO FIX A TRUCK SO I DIDNT SEE IT.

ITS NOT AS DUSTY HERE IN IRAQ. IT REMINDS ME OF THE CONVOYS IN KOREA.

MOST OF THE PEOPLE WILL WAVE “HI”. SOME OTHERS DONT.

I SAW A KID OPEN HIS HAND ONCE WHILE MOVING, AND IT SAID “BUSH” THAT WAS KIND OF COOL.

OH YEAH. HERES A STORY. WHILE OUT DOING A MISSION, ONE OF OUR “BRADLEY” TANKS FIRED ON AN ENEMY AMMO TRUCK AND CLIPPED A KID. THE ROUNDS BLEW ONE OF HIS LEGS OFF AND SOME OF THE OTHER, FROM THE KNEE DOWN. SO THE MEDICS PICKED HIM UP AND BROUGHT HIM TO OUR RECONCOLIDATING POINT FOR MEDICAL TREATMENT. I GUESS HE EVENTUALLY DIED FROM LOSS OF BLOOD THE NEXT NIGHT AND YESTERDAY THEY TOOK HIM OUT AND BURIED HIM.

ALSO WE PICKED UP ABOUT 25-30 P.O.W.s AND SENT THEM SOUTH.

IT GETS PRETTY COLD AT NIGHT. AND THE DAY’S ARE VERY HOT.

SINCE WE LEFT KUWAIT ITS BEEN ME AND MENDOZA IN THE FIVE TON WRECKER AND I HAVE TO ADMIT THAT ITS BEEN EXCITING. WE KEPT GETTING SEPERATED FROM THE CONVOY AND BREAKING DOWN. BUT I THINK THAT WERE BETTER NOW. HOPEFULLY.

IM STILL WAITING TO BE AMBUSHED TO MAKE ALL THIS SEEM REAL TO ME. A PART OF ME WANTS IT AND ANOTHER DOESNT.

AND IT SEEMS LIKE ONLY OUR UNIT HAS TO STAY IN UNIFORM, EVERYONE ELSE WEARS T-SHIRTS AND BANDENA’S AND RAGS ON THEIR HEAD

WERE STILL GOING NORTH. NOBODY KNOWS HOW LONG WE’LL STAY. ITS NOT THAT BAD HERE. MEANING, IT COULD BE WORSE.

I USED A “SHIT-CHAIR”. ITS JUST A METAL CHAIR WITH A HOLE CUT IN THE MIDDLE AND THE SEAT FROM A TOILET BOLTED TO IT, GROSS.

HELICOPTERS CAN BE HEARD ALL DAY AND NIGHT. I GOT TO SEE THEM DROP BOMBS ALL DAY ABOUT 3 DAYS AGO, FROM A DISTANCE OF COURSE.

ILL BE DRIVING AGAIN, IN A MINUTE. PROBABLY RE-FUEL AND BACK ON THE ROAD AGAIN. IM ENJOYING IT.

I HAVE 8 MAGAZINES FULL OF ROUNDS. NO GRENADES, BUT I LIKE IT LIKE THAT.

SOMETIMES IT SMELLS LIKE SHIT.

I GUESS ILL END IT HERE FOR NOW

I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU TWO TWICE IF NOT THRICE AS MUCH AS YOU MIGHT MISS ME TOO.

HELLO AGAIN. WERE SOMEWHERE NEAR TIKRI + MOSUL. YESTERDAY, ME + MENDOZA WENT LOOKING FOR MOMENTO’S. WE BROKE A LOCK TO A NEAR BY BUNKER AND FOUND 6 A.K.47s! BUT ON OUR WAY BACK TO TURN THEM IN, MAJOR TATU GOT THEM FROM US. I WAS SO PISSED. BUT I GOT A GAS MASK w/ FILTER, A FULL MAGAZINE CLIP FROM ONE OF THE A.K.s AND A BERET WITH IRAQ 1 RANK ON IT.

I MADE A STENCIL FOR THE TRUCK WERE RIDING IN. ITS CALLED THE “GAMBLER.” YESTERDAY MENDOZA DROVE, SO TODAY ILL BE DRIVING.

IM NOT POSITIVE, BUT, I THINK WERE GOING TO TURKEY. NIETO SAYS THAT HE OVERHEARD SOMEBODY FROM S1 (or SI, I’m not sure) SAYING WE MIGHT GET PAID EXTRA FOR GOING THROUGH BAGHDAD.

I THINK NIETO’S MAD AT ME. CANT EXPLAIN WHY. MAYBE ITS BECAUSE IM RIDING WITH MENDOZA AND HE DOESNT LIKE MENDOZA TOO MUCH. OH WELL, WHATEVER REASON, HOPE THINGS GET NORMAL AGAIN. HAVE TO GO,

*hearts and xs*

TODAY IS THE 25th OF APRIL, I RECEIVED FIVE OR SIX (OR SEVEN) LETTERS YESTERDAY. THE LATEST WAS DATED 07 OF APRIL. THAT TELLS ME THAT ITS GOING TO TAKE A WHILE TO COMMUNICATE.

WE HAVENT RECEIVED MAIL BECAUSE WEVE BEEN MOVING NEVER STAYING IN ONE PLACE MORE THAN A DAY, OR TWO, UNTIL NOW. WE’VE BEEN IN THIS SPOT GOING ON FOUR DAYS TOMORROW?!

GIVE ME A MINUTE...

FOR THE LAST COUPLE OF DAYS IVE BEEN HELPING MENDOZA PULL THE ENGINE OUT OF A 5 TON TRUCK AND SWITCH IT w/ ANOTHER ONE. IT WOULD HAVE BEEN EASY BUT THE FLY WHEEL SEIZED UP INSIDE THE BELL HOUSING. ITS FINISHED NOW AND THE RUMOR IS WE’RE LEAVING (OR MOVING) AGAIN TOMORROW.

ITS 10:33 THURSDAY MORNING. YOUR TIME IS 12:32 JUST TURNING THURSDAY.

I ALMOST CRYED WHEN I SAW ELIS PICTURE. I REALLY MISS BOTH OF YOU. LET ME BACK TO BEFORE I GOT DISTRACTED. I HAVENT BEEN ABLE TO SEND MAIL BECAUSE WE’VE BEEN MOVING. BUT I GUESS THAT WHATEVER THREAT THERE WAS (IF ANY), ISNT SO THREATFUL ANYMORE, WE CAN START RECEIVING AND SENDING MAIL. NO PHONE TO CALL FROM, AND NO INTERNET TO E-MAIL FROM.

THE WHOLE UNIT IS SCATTERED, SO EVEN IF I GET WHAT YOU NEED IT’LL TAKE FOREVER TO GET IT TO YOU. LET ME PULL THOSE LETTERS BACK OUT. OH WAIT. I DID LAUNDRY AND SOME UNDERWEAR THATS DRY, FELT HARD, OH WELL, WAIT A SECOND, K

I HAD TO FOLD SOME T-SHIRTS. ALL MY SOCKS ARE STILL DAMP.

YOU CAN USE MY CONTRACT TO SHOW THAT I ENLISTED IN TEXAS AND HOWS THIS

*On a separate sheet my dad wrote a detailed note for my mom to give to someone to confirm that he did want to buy a house. He writes “I AM ALIVE AND WELL.” and “PLEASE ACCEPT THIS PAPER”, then he signed it with his scribble signature, and underneath it wrote his name in print and added “1st SQUADRON 10th CAVALRY HEADQUARTERS TROOP (I have no clue what this means)*

HOW’S THAT? HOPE I SPELLED EVERYTHING CORRECTLY. IM ALMOST READY WITH A DESIGN TO COVER THE OTHER TATTOOS ON MY LEFT FOREARM.

I JUST FINISHED LOOKING OVER ALL THOSE LETTERS YOU SENT FOR ME

IM BACK! I GOT SLEEPY SO I TRYED TO LAY DOWN FOR A LITTLE BIT. NO SLEEP. I DONT THINK. I DIDNT HAVE ENOUGH WATER TO WASH MY DCV’S AND A PAIR OF BDV’S. BESIDES FOR DRINKING WATER, BUT WE HAVE TO CONSERVE IT.

LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THE RUMORS. TOMORROW WE’LL BE LEAVING FOR THE IRAN/IRAQ BORDER TO DO “PEACE KEEPING” FOR 3 TO 6 mths. OTHERS SAY THAT THE 4ID (i think is what this says) GENERAL WANTS TO KEEP US HERE TILL NOV., THATS WHEN 1 CAV WILL COME TO REPLACE US. WHILE OTHERS SAY WE MIGHT LEAVE BY JUNE. NOTHINGS FOR SURE.

SMALLER RUMORS FLOATING AROUND THE SITE ARE; RAMSEY AND SFC BACON ARE SLEEPING TOGETHER. SGT SIREK HAS PLANS TO TAKE NIETO AS HIS APPRENTICE AND PADIWAN LEARNER OF THE DARK SIDE. LITTLE BLACK ARNOLD IS MILITARY INTELLIGENCE FOR SPECIAL FORCES OPERATING UNDER COVER A SURVEILLENCE AS PART OF

*the rest of the page is blank*

IM BACK. TODAY IS THE 27th. I GOT BACK TO THE LITTLE CAMP AREA ABOUT AN HOUR AND A HALF AGO. I LEFT YESTERDAY MORNING TO, WELL, AS PART OF DE-CON (DE-CONTAMINATION) MISSION. HERES THE INFORMATION THAT I GATHERED.

A SITE HAD BEEN FOUND THAT WAS THOUGHT TO HAVE CHEMICAL WEAPONS AND 1-10 WAS APPOINTED TO GO TO THE SITE AND DE-CON THE CIVILIANS THAT WERE GOING TO OPEN THEM. AS IT TURNS OUT THE CIVILIANS HAVE BEEN DE-LAYED AND WOULD BE SET BACK 1 DAY.

THE NBC TEAM THAT I WAS WITH WERENT PREPARED TO STAY OVER NIGHT AND AS FORCASTED BY SSG MINOR WE MIGHT HAVE HAD TO STAY 3 TO 4 DAYS. EVERYBODY WAS PISSED.

LATELY ITS BEEN GETTING REALLY COLD AT NIGHT AND WE JUST HAPPENED TO BE NEAR A RUNNING RIVER. SO THE, ITS ABOUT 9 O’CLOCK AND IM BEAT, NO SLEEPING BAG OR ANYTHING TO COVER UP WITH AND I DECIDE TO TRY AND SLEEP. I GET AS COMFORTABLE AS POSSIBLE AND I GET ATTACKED BY MOSQUITOS. NOW IM PISSED SO I DECIDED TO JUST TO STAY UP ALL NIGHT. ABOUT 10PM ONE OF THE HEMTT (this might just say “hemi”, I don’t know) FUELERS SHOWS UP AND SGT TORRES SAYS HE HAS EVERYBODYS SLEEPING BAG! THE SITES ABOUT 45 MINS AWAY AND THEY LEFT SOMETIME MID AFTERNOON TO GET OUR SHIT, I HATE THESE PEOPLE.

RIGHT NOW ITS 9:01 PM AND ITS 11:02 AM YOUR TIME. I MISS YOU.

RIGHT NOW IM GOING TO ADDRESS AN ENVELOPE AND HAVE IT READY TO SEND TOMMOROW THE 28th. IM SORRY IF IT SEEMS THAT IM NOT WRITING VERY OFTEN. FOR A WHILE WE COULDN’T. AND NOW THAT IT SEEMS WE MIGHT BE HERE A LITTLE WHILE, THEYVE KEPT ME REALLY BUSY. LET ME ADDRESS THE ENVELOPES (he drew a star here)

ALL DONE. I THOUGHT ABOUT THE HOUSE A LOT TODAY AND YESTERDAY. IM SURE BY THE TIME THIS LETTER REACHES YOU, YOU’LL HAVE EITHER GOTTEN IT OR GAVE IT UP. IM O.K. WITH EITHER DECISION YOUVE MADE.

YOUVE KEPT THIS FAMILY TOGETHER, AND THAT MAKES ME PROUD. YOUR SMART, ATTRACTIVE AND FUNNY. AND YOU DONT TAKE ANY SHIT FROM ANYBODY. I LOVE YOU.

I HOPE THAT OUR DAUGHTER TURNS OUT TO BE LIKE YOU.

I GUESS ILL MAIL THIS TOMORROW, FIRST THING, SO

EVER YOURS

EVER MINE

*my dad signed it with his scribble, and wrote his name under it. under that are hearts and x’s with my mom’s name and then my name under hers.*

#very personal but where the fuck am i gonna put them? you know where i kinda cant lose them?#letters from the guy that was my dad #pt 1 #long post

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wolferals · 4 years

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🇪🇸champaña y flores🇪🇸

finally fallin' chapter 8 / FINAL CHAPTER

arón piper x reader

(The spanish is all google translate, i wont take responsibility for mistakes)

chapter 8 / (this is it guys⭐️)

Your last encounter with Arón was now exactly one week ago. It was Friday night and your actual plan had been to stay in, watch some tv and snack meanwhile.

As you put on your sweatshirt, your phone rang.

Arón. Again.

He had called you about 10 times the past 6 days. He wasnt lying about that he'd annoy the shit out of you.

You had never picked up but you did this time.

„Arón." you spoke and tried to sound annoyed but started chuckling right after.

You heard him laugh as well.

„Good evening, y/n." His choice of words made you grin.

„Whats up?" you asked and sat down on your bed.

„Well, its Friday night. What are you up to, can I maybe join?"

You rolled your eyes.

„No you can not join, im just home too. Watching tv."

-„Can I come over, I wanna see your place. Por favor?"

Immediately you shook your head after looking at this mess of a room. Clothes everywhere. Dirty dishes on your desk and a thick layer of dust on the floor.

„Arón." you started but got interrupted by him right away.

„Come on. I wanna do something and you got nothing to do either, I wanna show you some things you havent seen before."

You lied back on your bed and stared at the ceiling with the call on speakerphone, resting your phone on your chest.

„I dont wanna dress up now." you groaned as you thought of going to the bathroom, doing your makeup, picking a cute outfit and ACTUALLY leaving the house.

„Please y/n, i really want you to see something."

He sounded frustrated almost. You sighed.

„Also you dont have to dress up or anything, just come outside, I'm in front of the building."

Quickly you jumped off the bed and ran to the nearest window that was facing the street. You tiled your head out the window and couldnt believe it.

„You fucker." you spoke and looked down at him as he was standing at your door in his usual black jeans and a loose band shirt.

He grinned at you and then waved.

„Come outside. Ill be waiting here."

Then he hung up.

Your first reaction to this was by giving him the middle finger and then going back inside.

Since you looked like absolutely trash, you rushed to apply some concealer because girl, we need to cover them eyebags. As well as brushing your hair out and quickly moisturizing your face.

Then you threw on a top and a cozy little jacket on top, making your sweatpants look a little better.

This whole look didnt even take 5 minutes and you were off to go downstairs to meet this dude.

„I cant believe you." you spoke and hit him in the chest as you walked past him on the sidewalk.

„Nice to see you too." he laughed and caught up with you, now walking beside you.

He was wearing a strong cologne. But you liked it. It always reminded you of him.

„I promise you're gonna like this place."

You tried to play this „annoyed little girl" but you were just too bad at it.

The laughters slipped through everytime you tried to say something mean to him.

„Be honest, how much do you like me on a scale from one to ten." He suddenly asked and you could feel his eyes on you.

You smiled a bit and looked up to him.

„Ill tell you later."

He just laughed.

And then he did something unexpected.

He took your hand. He was holding your hand. And you didnt pull away. It felt good though, it was warm and comforting somehow.

„We're almost there." he broke the comfortable silence at some point as you turned a corner.

„You keep walking, I'm behind you, I just want you to see it first." He smiled at you and eventually let go of your hand.

And this comforting feeling was gone. The one you already missed.

But you did as he said and walked through the little alley somewhere inbetween people's houses.

And then you saw it.

In the middle of 4 small houses was a hidden location, with a small white table in the middle and two baby blue chairs.

There was fairy lights everywhere and it smelled like flowers due to the beautifully decorated balconies over your heads.

„Wow." was all you could say as you felt Arón's chest hit your back.

„Come."

He took your hand and lead you to one of the chairs.

„I even got food." He smiled and grabbed a brown basket from close to the bushes.

You were in awe. Had he set all this up for you? And you had the fucking audacity to reject him first and now sit in this beautiful little garden with your black dirty sweatpants on? Girl you need to step up your game a bit if you want this boy to stay this nice.

„Arón, you." you started but he just smiled at you, hypnotizing you with his beautiful eyes.

„I know you're not sure what you feel and all but I wanted to do this because you said that no guy has ever properly taken you out. And I know its not a fancy restaurant or a nice bar but i figured you'd like this more."

You couldnt help but be speechless.

He seemed to notice and grinned.

„Here, Itzan said you always stole his strawberries at lunch so I got you some."

You intentionally grabbed a strawberry and bit into the sweet little fruit.

Spanish strawberries did taste different than what you were used to. They were a lot sweeter than the ones you had at home.

„You want some champagne as well?" He asked and held up a nice bottle of „Veuve Clicquot".

You just nodded. He poured you a glass, then one for himself and you just looked at each other for a little while before happily speaking a „cheers".

It tasted like magic. Not only the champagne, this entire moment was magical to you. No guy had even remembered how much you loved strawberries and Arón had bought what looked like an entire bucket full.

This felt too good to be true.

„Y/n?" Arón asked you after a while of you just stuffing your mouth with strawberries since they were just too delicious.

„Hm?" you asked with half your mouth full. He laughed.

„You're so fucking cute, do you know that?"

There it was again, the blushing.

„Thank you." you then spoke and looked around before looking back at him.

„De nada, of course." Arón smiled again and took another sip of the champagne.

You then got up to walk around the rather small table to observe the scenery. You could feel Arón's eyes following your every step as you were looking at the different kinds of flowers, even smelling them.

„You're so beautiful." you heard him say behind you. It made you smile brightly but you were glad he didnt see that.

You continued looking at everything for a couple of minutes until you then heard Arón get up and he walked closer to you, hitting your back again.

„You dont know how happy I am right now." he whispered and placed his chin on your right shoulder.

„I'm happier." you whispered almost inaudible only for him to hear.

Out of reflex you turned around to him, his eyes were lit by the lights above your head. He smiled at you again.

„Y/n, I dont even..."

You cut him off by softly pressing your lips to his.

He immediately reacted and cupped your face to deepen the kiss.

This guy did have deeper feelings for you and he made you genuinely happy, you knew that now.

The kiss lasted a few moments before you needed to take a breath. You slowly opened your eyes and looked into his beautiful brown eyes.

He was brightly smiling, showing off his tooth gap.

You had noticed it right away and it made you remember him immediately. It was just cute and unique.

There was this silence again, his hands were still holding your face and your left hand was placed on his side.

The warm air was moving your hair, some bees were buzzing in the flowers around you.

Aróns breathing was just as heavy as yours, you could feel it.

You had to smile again, you were just too bubbly inside right now. And excited. You finally had a guy who loved you for who you were and even kissed you in a beautiful yard with your damn sweatpants on.

The next thing you did was running your fingers through his short hairs on the back of his head. They were slowly growing back from when he had to shave it off for Élite.

You noticed little curls forming already.

He leaned his head back, fully enjoying your movements.

„Hm y/n?" he spoke quietly and looked back down at you.

„Hm?" you replied but were too concentrated scanning every part of his beautiful face.

„I dont know if they still do this. This is probably dumb. But do you want to be my girlfriend?"

It made you chuckle. You werent sure either if it was still a thing to officially ask since you figured it was just a state to be in. „Dating".

You looked at him once again before replying with a short little „yes".

And this boy smiled brightly again. And just looking up at this man made you realize how much you missed in your life so far. Love wasnt about feeling you have to tell someone what you actually feel. Love was a lot more than that and you had never had the chance to experience it.

No guy ever gave you the feeling you were worth more than sex, making him happy and occasionally getting a compliment.

But Arón, he was treating you like the queen you are.

You were important to him, and he was important to you.

He loved you. Someone finally loved you the way you deserved it.

And you were sure it was that love too what you felt growing inside you.

You had fallen for him.

And you were still falling for him.

You were finally fallin'.

☀️thank you guys so much for commenting and complimenting me on this story, this is it. thank you☀️

#elite #aronpiper #cute #preference #omander #aronxreader #ander #preferences #smut #the end

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missblissy · 5 years

Text

Title: Free Fall Fandom: Red Dead Redemption Genre: Reader-insert, one-shot Character: Arthur X Reader

Follow me on AO3!! Read it there too!

Description: You and Arthur go for a hunting trip into Big Valley but some trouble comes along for the ride too. Things don’t turn up as planned. At all..

It wasn’t all that bad this morning. The rain from the night before had finally started to dry, and everyone started to come out of hiding.

Hosea was already up long before you, sitting by the campfire of the Horseshoe Overlook camp. Pearson had just gotten up too along with Grimshaw. You walked over to Hosea and sat down beside him.

“Good morning,” He said, handing you a small cup of coffee he had waiting beside him.

“Morning,” Your voice was still a little rough, “Thanks,” You took the cup, bringing it right up to your nose and let the steam flow over your face. It was far more refreshing than the chilly wet morning.

You look at Hosea, he seemed worried like always. All this stress of moving and running from the law has turned his hair even whiter and put more wrinkles on his face. He wasn’t looking too good. Every morning though, at every camp, for the last several years, you’ve woken up to spend your morning coffee with the old man. He was the father you never got to have.

“Got any plans for today?” Hosea took a drink from his coffee then looked over to you.

“Mhm,” You weren’t much for words this early. You took a sip of the coffee and then shrugged, “I’m not sure yet... We just got here, it’s only been a couple of days. There is a lot of work to do around camp still.”

“Yes, there is,” He sounded tired, “Maybe you should go hunting. The weather is perfect,” All of a sudden there was a little twinkle shining in his eye, “Years ago...” He started his story with a little smile, “When I was out in this country with some old counterparts, we heard of this huge- I mean really huge buck, right in the heart of Big Valley.”

“Yeah? Did you go after it?” You sat up a little straighter trying to get the hunch out of your back. You saw Abigal and John already having some sort of argument.

Hosea laughed a little and shook his head, “Didn’t even see it. Spent a whole week out there. Not a single damn thing. Nothing. We had better luck hunting the flies that piled around our shit.”

You both laughed at that. Chuckling under your breath, you asked, “You think it’s still out there?”

“Maybe,” Hosea took a sip of his coffee, “I’m not entirely sure, but it’s possible it’s still out there,”

“What’s still out there?”

You nearly jumped out your skin and screamed like a little animal. Arthur was standing behind you two with a bowl of stew in his hands. He had the smallest smirk on his face. So small you could barely even see it. Your heart started to pick up and inside your head, you were spazzing out. But you calmed down from the surprise and cooly said, “Huge buck, up in Big Valley,”

“You don’t say?” Arthur looked interested. You tried your best not to look at him too much. Some days you just wanted to stare from dawn till dusk at that man. Rarely did you ever get the chance to. He was always off doing this and that, running around like a little pack mule for Dutch.

You looked between the two men, and listened as Hosea said, “Why don’t you two go hunting?” You didn’t say anything and just kept sipping at your coffee. Truth is... You and Arthur... Haven’t been getting along too well recently.

Since the whole Blackwater incident, since you saw Dutch... Do that.. do what he did to that girl, your faith in the gang, in Dutch, has been unshaken. Hosea was the only one you could stand to even be around because he was the only one here who knew any better than Dutch, but nobody listened to him much.

It was hard, having to see the small family you loved finally start falling apart. From the start, it had just been the five of you. Hosea, Dutch, Arthur, John and little you. You watched people come and go, many of them died, but it was always you guys.

The last time you spoke to Arthur though, was up in the mountains during the blizzard when he came back with Kieran. You fought over letting that poor guy go, but Arthur insisted on following Dutches orders, and you argued that Dutch wasn’t fit to lead this gang anymore. That was about a week ago. You haven’t spoken since.

There was silence for a bit, you didn’t want to answer or get your hopes up that Arthur would want to go on a hunting trip with you. You did miss him a lot. Arthur was by far one of your favorite people, probably the only person you’d die for. He was, to say the least, the man of your dreams. He was just so... wrapped around Dutch’s finger.

Finally, after a minute or two, Arthur said, “Sure,” and looked down at you. He trapped a finger on your head a few times, “You up for it?”

“Yeah, I suppose. A buck that big could feed the camp for a week,” You were actually very excited to go. It was so hard to keep all those emotions inside and keep your cool and laid back facade.

The three of your got up and started walking through camp. Hosea spoke up and walked between you and Arthur, “Excellent!” He seemed so happy to have the both of you -sort of- talking again, “You’ll need some supplies and I’ll let Dutch know you’ll be out,” Hosea handed you a small bag filled with who knows what he meant by ‘supplies.’

He rushed you off and left with a smile and a wave about how he was going to go read some book. The silence returned between you and Arthur and you felt the need to fill it.

You climbed up on your horse and got comfortable in your saddle, “You know which way we’re headed?” Arthur just let out a little grunt. That meant yes, “Take the lead then.” You said.

The ride, for the most part, was silent and little slow paced. You watched Arthur up front as he took his time to look at the world around him. He seemed just as tired as Hosea. You wanted to fill the void with between you and Arthur so you caught up and rode beside him.

The sun had just barely made it over the hills, the sky was a painting of red, pink, blue, orange and purple. It was beautiful. So you chose that to be the topic of your small talk, “A perfect sunrise, don’t you think?”

“It is,” He agreed, “Aren’t they your favorite?”

“Yeah, it is.” You felt a little smile twitch at your lips. He remembered... It made your heart swell in your chest and your brain scream. It was so difficult being around Arthur now. Since your fight with him, things have changed in a way you didn't think possible. The fight... you both said something that hurt and shouldn't have been said.

The real problem was the denial you were in about how you felt about Arthur. You loved him, honestly, that's what it was. You loved him more and more and every day you shoved those feelings down and told yourself I'm not good enough for him. He's had so many heartbreaks. He's not looking for love. While at the same time you also told yourself he didn't want someone like you. Someone stubborn, someone temperamental and someone who he probably saw more of as an annoying sibling and less of a romantic interest. You know what he wanted. He wanted Mary.

There was silence again. It was awful. It never bothered you until the fight. You use to sit with Arthur for hours on end, never speaking a word, just reading a book while he wilted a stick with his knife. You had to fill the silence, you wanted to talk to him. You wanted him to talk to you.

The sun was well and high into the sky now. You cleared your throat and said, "Do... You remember..." You paused to see if he was listening. You could tell he was because you saw the side of his face and ear facing you, "You remember that time when we were really young, and Hosea was teaching us how to hunt with a bow?"

"Oh yeah, I couldn't shoot an arrow worth nothin," There was a little smile on his face. You rode your horse up to match his speed.

There was a grin on your face and gave him a look, "But I could! I remember the look on Dutch and Hosea's face when I got a bullseye on my first try!"

You both chuckled, while Arthur said, "And John was being a little shit because he couldn't figure out how the hell to shoot an arrow," You remember that day fondly.

"Dutch was so proud of us. He couldn't shut up about how his three kids were learning to hunt and shoot.... and kill," You said that last part with a little bit of regret. You've come to blame Dutch for making you the person you were. But you kept that part to yourself.

"He was. Hosea too," Arthur carried the conversation on, "They share whiskey with us for the first time too, didn't they?"

"Ha, they did!"

As the day went on and you rode on, you and Arthur shared memories of better times. Talking about the old days made you nostalgic in a bad way. It made you realize how much has changed, how much the world was changing. How much you wanted to go back in time and live there forever. Eventually, the ride came turned from open fields to trees and mountain paths. When you finally go to Big Valley you were greeted with huge meadows filled with flowers of all kinds. It was so amazing and beautiful as the flowers made waves of there own in the wind. It was like watching the water on a beach.

You chose a spot to make camp past the open fields and more into the trees. While you hitched the horses and took care of them, you watched from the corner of your eye as Arthur rolled some logs over and made a little fire pit. He was busy, so you tried to leave him be. You didn't want to force him to deal with you. While he was doing that, you started going through the bag of 'supplies' that Hosea gave you.

Sitting down on one of the logs, you until the little string holding the bag closed. You find some pretty basic things. Berries, oats, bait, can of coffee, some cans of beans... And.. Did...? Was that? Moonshine?

Really now? "That god damn bastard," You smile and mutter those words under your breath as you pull out not one, but two big bottles of moonshine.

You looked around for Arthur, wanting to tell him about this little surprise, and you find him a few feet away chopping logs in half. By... God. That was a sight to see. There he was, Arthur Morgan, in the afternoon sun. Sweating. Showing off his arms with his sleeves rolled up like that. You quickly looked away. There those feelings were again. Strong and loud. Your heart raced and you shook your head to push those thoughts away. Instead, you stared at your hands and thought... Just once you thought, what if... Arthur loved you back. It made your face heat up, it made your palms sweaty. You thought and thought and started to get scared because you knew you were only going to hurt yourself if you actually kept feeling those feelings.

"(Y/N)!"

"Huh!?" You sat up straight and looked up. Arthur was standing right in front of you, he must have been talking to you. Oh no... "What?"

"I said... What you got there?" You looked down at the moonshine he was pointing at.

"Oh... uh," You were still a little flustered from before and your brain was having a hard time catching up, "Um," You handed him one of the bottles, "Hosea must have packed it to celebrate maybe?"

Arthur cracked it open and sat down beside you on the log. You were so lost in your thoughts earlier that you didn't even notice that he had set up a tent and even got the fire going. You were surprised when Arthur started during the moonshine. He took a long swig and cringe as the alcohol burned down his throat.

When he handed the bottle to you, you asked, "Don't want to save it? You.. know... for later? After we get the buck?" He shook his head, "Why not?"

"We'll get the buck tomorrow," He said as you took a little sip of the moonshine. You waited for him to explain a little more but he never said anything.

“So..? Why did you come out here then?” You stared down at your fingers as you twisted them together. You set the moonshine down between the both of you.

Arthur just let out a little grunt and nodded his head side to side slowly, “I needed a break. From all of that.” He waved his hand in the air like you knew what he was trying to say.

It took you a few seconds but then you suddenly got, “You mean the camp?”

“Mhm,” Arthur was back to drinking more of the booze, “Everyone has been getting on my nerves lately, it’s ridiculous. I can’t stand those idiots.” He made a face that reminded you of just how much Arthur enjoys his silence and isolation from the vast majority of the world. He was a loner and a stubborn one too.

“Oh…” You said as he offered the moonshine to you and you turned it down, “Well I can…Leave.”

“Nah,” He drawled out, “I can stand you. It’s Micah… Bill. Uncle. A little bit of John too,” He paused then put the moonshine back and his face grew dark, “And Dutch.” You felt something in the air that you couldn’t quite put your finger on. You arm hairs stood up and you got a chill that ran over your skin. Arthur hunched forward resting his elbows on his knees and looked down at the ground. His hat was covering face for the most part.

He started to talk, but he got stuck on the words, “I… I know…” He stopped and cursed under his breath, “I know what you saw back in Blackwater changed you,” You didn’t really want to have this conversation right now. It bothered you that he was bringing this up again, “I know you’re not happy with the gang right now,” He took a breath and let out a heavy sigh that carried more weight than you could ever know, “And… I don’t blame you…”

His words surprised you. This was far different from the Arthur you argued with a week ago. He didn’t want to listen to you or even consider what happened in Blackwater. He blindly looked to Dutch and didn’t question his actions. Now it looks like Arthur was confused, even hurt a little.

“I’ve heard around from other people about what he did and I-” Arthurs words were cut off by the sound of gunfire incredibly close to your campsite. The both of you looked around quickly and into the trees. The evening sun painted the sky orange and white, making it a little harder to see if anyone was coming from the tree line.

The gunshots got closer and closer still and you could faintly hear shouting too. Arthur tapped your shoulder and pointed to the little creek down the hill, “Look,” You both found some cover behind a large boulder, “Someone’s being chased,”

You saw a man running for his life. He looked beat up, bloody and broken. He was screaming and stumbling every step he took. Following him close behind were a group of men on horseback.

“O’driscolls,” You muttered with malice in your voice, “Why are the O’driscolls up here too? How many of those bastards are there?”

“I don’t know, but it looks like they’re headed this way,” They killed the man they were chasing and started looting his body. You saw one of the men point in your direction. The fire! It was leaving a smoke trail for them to follow up and find you.

You looked at Arthur and he looked back to you. You shared some unspoken words and a simple nod. He ran left into the cover of some bushes and you went right and found a tree to hide behind. You pulled your revolver out and gripped the gun tight.

As the O’driscalls got closer you could hear them speaking.

“Ya think they still here?”

“They couldn’t have gotten too far,”

You peeked out and saw four men. They had walked past the bushes Arthur had hid himself in and closer to the tree you were at. The tallest O’driscoll said something about your horses and got yelled out, “We know ya still here! Come on out now or will kill ya nice and slow!”

This was it. You took a breath and calmed yourself down. You’ve done this before. No need to get nervous now. It’s just some O’driscolls, they’re nothing.

You walked out from behind your tree with your hands in the air, “I’m out!” You yelled at them. You took them by surprise and they all pointed their guns at you, “I’m out! I came out!” You slowly lowered your revolver down, “I don’t want any trouble now,”

“Well you got some trouble,” An ugly looking man pointed from you to your horses, “What about your friend? We know there are two of ya,”

“He’s hunting,” You lied coolly. Your revolver was still being lowered, “It’s just me. Take what you want,” The O’driscolls started lowering their guns too and walking closer towards you and your camp. As soon as your gun was by your side was when Arthur jumped from the bushes and gunfire cut the silence of the valley and gunsmoke filled the air.

It was an all out shoot out. You dove to the ground and took cover behind your tree while two of the O’driscolls ran off and the other two went for you. You shot at them, filling them with bullets, hoping they die slowly. Arthur had gone after the other two men while you shot down and killed the taller O’driscoll. The other one, the ugly one, was bleeding out but still hiding behind a log. He took random shots and one hit you and grazed right through your arm. You shouted out in pain and swore. You could see Arthur a few feet away beating the shit out of one of the men. He must have killed the other one.

“Fuck! Argh!” It felt worse than it looked. There was a clean cut on your shoulder that already started to bleed, but other than that you were fine. You took a stupid risk, filled with rage and pissed out of your mind that this bastard actually nipped you, you ran out from behind your tree and straight for the O’driscoll. He didn’t even see you coming, he was busy shaking and trying to reload his gun. When he saw you, the look on his face was fear and he was crying. He started to plead with you, saying he didn’t want to do this and that hated his life as an outlaw. He even threw his gun to the side and put his hands up in the air.

Arthur had come running in and out of breath with his gun pointed at the little sad ugly man, “You gonna kill em?” He asked.

“Please! Please don’t kill me! I-I-I have… money! T-take it!” He tossed a few dollar bills onto the ground in front of your feet. You stared him down, getting closer. He was shaking like a leaf, “Look-look! You already shot me!” he did have a few bullet holes in his legs. One in his thigh and one below his knee.

“Looks like you’re already dead, don’t you think, Arthur?” You looked over to the stern man and he nodded his head.

“I’d reckon we should put him out of his misery,”

“N-no! No! Please! I-I-I-” The O’driscoll’s pleas were cut short. You shot him square between the eyes. You didn’t want to listen to him beg anymore and you’d rather get back to your campsite.

You reached down and hooked your arms under the dead man and started dragging him away, “Wanna help me get rid of the- Urgh! Shit!” You forgot you were shot and when you tried to lift the dead man your arm screamed out in hot pain.

Arthur came over and shuffled you away, “Go sit by the fire. I’ll take care of this,”

“No- I’m fine-” You tried picking up the body again but it hurt, even more, this time and it cause you to drop the body and fall with it too.

“Goddammit- Will you listen to me? You got shot for Christ's sake (Y/N)!” Arthur grabbed you by your good arm and helped you up. This was the first time you saw his face. He looked… worried? Upset? It was a mixture of many things but what stood out the most was how his brows were raised and knitted together and a sad little grimace was on his face. It was like he was the one in pain.

“I’ve been shot before,” You winced as he pulled you to your feet, “I’m fine, Arthur. It’s just a nip,” You looked to your shoulder and saw the blood stain soaking your shirt. It looked like you were still bleeding. Your sleeve was torn by the bullet so you pulled it back and gave the wound a real look. It didn’t seem that bad, just a medium-sized gash across your shoulder.

“Just go sit down, okay?”

You didn’t put up a fight anymore. You went to the campfire and sat down on a log. That moonshine looked really good right about now. You took your time swigging down have the bottle before Arthur came back. He sat down beside you an asked, “Can I see?” and gestured to your shoulder.

You nodded. He hesitated and his hand hovered over your shoulder like he was afraid of hurting you. He peeled back the clothes and started cutting the extras bits away. Arthur then reached into his satchel and pulled out some bandages.

The moonshine had started getting to your head so you found it a little funny, “You got everything in there, huh? Got any candy?”

He didn’t say anything but he went back into his satchel and gave you a chocolate bar. You burst out laughing, a little drunk, you found this absolutely hilarious. He gave you this look and raised a brow, “What on earth has gotten into you? And sit still dammit! I can’t fix you up if you keep moving,”

So you sat there drinking moonshine and chewing on some chocolate as Arthur took care of you. All those feelings you’ve been repressing started to come up again. You felt bad, guilty too. You easily feel down the trap that is the negative thoughts that can come with drinking. Arthur was almost done wrapping your shoulder when you made this sad little face.

“Arthur?” You were thinking about what he was saying earlier before the O’driscolls showed up.

“Yeah?” He didn’t look away from your arm, which was okay because you didn’t want him to catch you staring at him.

“I’m sorry…”

“Sorry?” He stopped and looked at you, to which you darted your gaze away and to the ground, “For what?”

“I’m sorry for what I said. About Dutch… and you…” You could still feel the venom and hate that you spat at him back then. You told him how Dutch was just... Not the same person anymore and how you wanted to leave the gang. That Dutch was going crazy with money and obsessed over power. You told Arthur he was a blind coward that couldn’t think for himself and depended on Dutch to keep him from becoming a sad and depressed old bag of useless shit… Just like his real father.

You waited for him to say something, but he was silent. So you rushed to talk again, “I-I… I shouldn’t have said those things. And-... We didn’t talk for a whole week. I missed you so much, Arthur. It was just a week and I felt like I lost you forever. We’re different.”

He finished bandaging your arm. He still stayed there sitting right beside you. You’re legs where touching and you stared at them as he started to speak, “Well,” he rubbed his chin, “I didn’t say anything nice either. I just really remember you saying you wanted to leave. I didn’t really get why. I didn’t see what Dutch did on that ferry but you did. And I was talking to Hosea, and John and everyone else. They all said things,” He paused and then shook his head, “I get it a little more now. You saw Dutch do something he said he’d never do. You saw the way he exploded and killed that woman. But I can’t have you leaving me just cause something bad happens.”

You’re eyes shot wide open and you looked up at Arthur, “...Me?”

“I-... I mean the gang. Can’t have you leaving the gang,” He looked down at the bottle of moonshine and snatched it up from you with a grumpy looking frown on his face, “Gimme some of that.”

“You said! Me! You said ‘I can’t have you leaving me.’ That’s what you said!!” Your drunk little brain was going wild. Normally you’d sit there and keep your cool but thanks to the booze that wasn’t going to happen.

“Alright!” Arthur snapped, “I said it! So what?”

You stole the moonshine back from him to drink some more and get up to your feet, “It means you want me around!” You smiled. You felt so much better hearing that. You were so afraid before that he’d never want to be around you again.

“I guess it does,” He had a small smile twitching on his lips, “I do want you around (Y/N). You’ve been around me almost all my life, it’d be… weird if you weren’t there.”

The first bottle of moonshine was already empty, “I want you around too. I love having you around,” You felt yourself getting a little dizzy so you sat down again. Your filter wasn’t on either, the words just puked out of your mouth like it was nothing, “I love everything about you, Arthur. I never want you to leave you or leave you behind,” You said it so casually but it took Arthur by surprise.

He was looking at with question in his eyes, “What's wrong?” You asked, “Do I got something on my face?” You started rubbing the back of your hand across your mouth and cheek.

That weird look on Arthur’s face was replaced with a warm smile, then a little chuckle, then a laugh, then huge fits of loud and booming giggles. He was laughing so much that you couldn’t help but laugh at yourself. What was so funny?

Arthur cracked open the second moonshine bottle and took a large swig, “Goddammit, (Y/N). You make it so hard,” He said between sips of the bottle, “You are one of the only good things to ever happen to me and you make it so hard for me to stay away from you,” He took another sip, “I was mad. I was mad as hell about what you said last week. I wanted to stay mad at you forever. I stayed away. I did. It didn’t work. Every morning you came out of your tent all sad and heartbroken. It hurt seeing you like that. I saw you slouch around with Hosea, hiding behind him like some kid when your just as old as me,” Arthur chuckled and it made your heart skip, “But today I saw you… You didn’t look sad anymore. Just tried. Empty. I didn’t want to do that to you. I still don’t think you should leave. I don’t want you to leave. But I see it… I see that you aren’t happy here with us anymore.”

You were too drunk to really say anything meaningful. You did something bold and leaned onto Arthur and put your head on his shoulder. You weren’t one for touching others or being touched, but the moonshine was helping you do just the opposite, “I’m happy,” You mumbled, “I’m happy when I’m with you.” You could feel Arthur stiffen up at your touch and his breath hitched as you talked, “You take care good care of me. I wish we could have our own lives though,”

“How so?” He asked hesitantly.

“You know…” You were looking at the fire flicker and flash as it burned away the logs, “Just us. Our own people. We’d be normal. We’d have land, a home… maybe a dog.” Your repressed feelings and dreams started swelling up into your throat and spilling out, “Or we’d run away and go to California. Live in those red wood forests with the big trees were no one could ever find us. We don’t rob people, we don’t steal or kill. We don’t go looking for trouble and trouble doesn’t find us.”

“I wish you told me this sooner,” He sounded solemn, upset. You started to panic and look over at Arthur. Did you share too much? Did you just out your real feelings to him? Shit! Stupid! Stop drinking! This is why you don’t drink ever, not never, because you won’t shut up. You swore off the moonshine, cursing it for being a potent truth potion.

“I-I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have said that!” You hid your face behind your hands and felt the crazy blush take over. You suddenly felt a tight grip around both of your wrist and calloused hands pull them down and away from your face.

When you looked up, Arthur was right in front of you, face to face with a serious looking expression. You blushed even more and felt the need to jump away, he’s never been this close to your face before.

“Say it again,” He said. You were confused and you gaze flickered back and forth between him and that duck shaped cloud in the evening sunset, “Say how much you want me around. Say how much you want to run away with me.”

You finally looked at him and met his gaze. His eyes were locked hard onto you, searching and digging right into you. You cleared your throat and nervously said, “I… I want you around all the time. Forever. I’ve wanted to run away with you since we were kids.”

It happened so fast that you didn’t even register what was going on until it was almost over. Arthur had close the space between you both by bringing you to him and kissing you. Your heart was pounding so hard that you felt your skull throbbing. He pulled away before you even return the kiss, but there were only inches between you two.

“I’m sorry,” He started to back away, “I should have asked- I’ve.. it’s… too much moonshine-” But you grabbed him tight and pulled him back to face you.

“Do it again,” You said, just like he asked to say it again, you wanted him to do it. Not a second was wasted, Arthur scooted closer and closer until the two of you were pressed together and lip locked in a kiss that had been going on for about a minute now. He tasted like cigarettes and moonshine, not that that was a bad thing. It was almost comforting.

You were stuck together until you both needed to breathe again. Arthur had a big cheeky grin on his face, it was beyond adorable, “I’ve waited some many god damn years for that,” He confessed.

You matched his smile, though a little shyer, “Me too” you admitted, “What are we going to do for the rest of the night?” The sun had started to set a long time ago and the sky was growing darker and darker by the minute.

Arthur grabbed the moonshine again and grinned a little, “Finish this, first of all,” You made a little giggle at that. He then lifted up his arm and gave a little wave of his hand. You slid over and got comfortable so close to him as he wrapped his arm behind you, “Then, after that, we’ll see what happens,” You just couldn’t stop those smiles and giggles. He always brought out the good in you. It felt nice to finally be this close to him. To have those feelings be returned meant the world to you, it meant everything. You didn’t even plan on this happening and yet it did. Arthur would press kisses to your cheek and pull you over to steal even more. He was so starved of attention that he took it whenever he wanted. The two of you enjoyed the rest of the night by the campfire, laughing and drinking and starting a new chapter in your lives.

#red dead redemption #red dead redemption 2 #red dead #fanfic #arthur morgan x reader #x reader #arthur x reader #van der linde gang #rdr #rdr 2 #one shot #ao3 #fan fiction #Hosea Mathews #confession #romance #cute #dutch van der linde

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0nlywateristheriver · 5 years

Text

My Second Wife

Link to story with original pictures: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1O9-fjebl_2IBrzJxBdK0zVDJ04gQLD7zc6BzmBJLzDw/edit?usp=sharing

@doctor-of-fair-play

My Second Wife

@onlywateristheriver

After over a thousand years married to the woman, the Doctor had gotten the knack of pinpointing about where River was along her timeline, without the aid of their diaries. They had to have been married by now - she looked older than she had that day. As of yet, however, River didn’t seem to know her which, despite being a bit offensive, also offered the opportunity for a bit of fun…

“D’you know?“ the Doctor couldn’t help but have the corner of her mouth twitch into a smile just barely contained. River had pulled this on her once, though now she realized that River might have been talking about her. Timelines. “You remind me of m’second wife. Well, second proper wife… there were a few others just for the fun and the party. The resemblance, s’uncanny. Course, her hair’s a bit curlier, and she has this nasty habit of carrying ‘round weapons. Once shot m’hat! Very rude. Never carry ‘round weapons, makes you look weak,“ she paced around River, tapping a finger against her holster, “Naughty, naughty. And… this is the silly bit. She’s an archaeologist. Can you imagine it? Time travelin’ archaeologist. That’s cheatin’! Don’t you think that’s cheatin’?”

onlywateristheriver

River’s eyes narrowed as the woman in front of her went on about weapons and hats and archaeology. “I’ll have you know, archaeology is the best way to find some of the most precious things that would have otherwise been lost to time. I was lost when I went to university and becoming an archaeologist helped me to find the best thing in my life. Led me to it again and again. And saved my life and the life of those I love more than once, so don’t you go on about weakness and silliness and cheating.” River tutted.

doctor-of-fair-play

The best thing in my life. Did she mean…? The Doctor stood a little straighter, a curl of guilt moving inside her. She’d never really stopped to think, stopped to consider… Anthropology she could understand, she was a bit of an anthropologist herself, but archaeology? Climbing about in the dust, going through old scraps of papers and wisps of lives long since ended when all of it was there, within reach, when one was to just step past the barrier of time. Alive and real.

“M’sorry. I was just havin’ a bit of fun.” The Doctor pulled up a chair, leaning in a bit closer to her wife, “S’really important to you, isn’t it? S’not just a way of… Why though? When you can step out in the world, amongst the living, why limit yourself to fragments? S’a vortex manipulator, isn’t it?” the question didn’t sound very convincing, she barely even glanced down at it. “You could go back, see it all for yourself. Nothin’s really lost.”

onlywateristheriver

“I didn’t have this from the beginning. I was left on my own with nothing. I had to find my own way with nothing but my own will and determination. All I knew was that there was someone I needed to find. Someone who could be anywhere, anywhen. I was as weak as a kitten and as knowledgable as a newborn. But I grew up fast and I used what I had around me. Archaeology was the best way to find what I needed. It’s served me well.”

River leaned back in her chair and looked the woman up and down. “Why am I telling you any of this anyway?”

doctor-of-fair-play

“Just have one of those faces, people can’t help but talk when I’m around. Sometimes. Honestly, I’ve not the knack for it I used to.” It was probably the height. Or the breasts. The Doctor leaned forward, elbows on the table, and twirled her straw around the emptying glass.“And, I mean, m'also your husband and I’ve been dropping hints all night. So there’s that. Really, River, you’re usually quicker on the uptake. How many people d'you think have a time travelin’ archaeologist for a wife?”

onlywateristheriver

River stared for a good minute or two at the woman in front of her. It was the eyes that finally convinced her. “I never thought I’d see you again.” Slowly she smiled. “And I certainly never came across this in my research. How long has it been for you?”

doctor-of-fair-play

The Doctor waited for some reaction from River, trying to read the expressions that passed over her face. Eventually, River smiled and a smile brightened the Doctor’s face too. “Y’know me, m’like a bad penny.” Her smile wavered, the unwelcome memory of their last goodbye pressing into her mind. “Been a while on my end, haven’t seen you since a bit before I last regenerated - don’t think you’re there quite yet. M’two thousand and something if that’s any help?”

onlywateristheriver

“Two thousand? It has been a while then. For me as well. I haven’t seen you in probably a hundred years, maybe a hundred and fifty?” She tried to hide the sadness that always surfaced when she realized how long the Doctor had left her alone. She knew they couldn’t spend all of their time together, that was dangerous. But she still missed him, ‘her’ she corrected, terribly when they were apart.

“I’m glad you found a way to go on. I know you were worried that you were at the end.”

doctor-of-fair-play

“S’not what I was worried about. But you know me, never liked endings.“ She let out a slow breath, hands stuffed in her pockets, and looked inside the cafe. The light of the grimy fixtures shone a warm gold, and the clink of dishes and silverware, the murmur of voices could be distantly heard. It would be better to laugh, better to pretend they weren’t both moving towards a goodbye, than to stand out here in the rain speaking of things that couldn’t be changed. “Come have dinner with us. I think you’ll like them, m’friends. And there’s a lot of catchin’ up we have to do, you and me. All the bits we missed.“

onlywateristheriver

River took a deep breath and put on a smile she didn’t really feel. “Okay. Lead the way.”

doctor-of-fair-play

Slipping a hand into hers, the Doctor led her back into the cafe. The chill of the rainy evening faded as the door closed behind them, though the Doctor’s hair was dripping and her shirt was tight to her skin, sticking and cold. She gladly slipped back into the booth, as it was near to the faux fireplace in the corner which gave off a very real glow of warmth from glowing plastic logs. Humans, they couldn’t just stick a space heater in the corner. Very few races were so focused on the ‘atmosphere’ of a place.

“We got you both another round of hot chocolates,“ Graham said, holding one out to each of them. The Doctor took hers gratefully, wrapping icy fingers around the warmth of the mug. “I’m amazed you’re not half froze, standing out there.“

“So is one of you going to explain?“ Ryan asked. “I didn’t take you for the married sort, Doctor.”

Yaz gave him a nudge under the table with her foot - the Doctor knew this because she missed Ryan and caught the Doctor’s shin instead. “What he means is, we thought you’d have been around, River? We were just saying, we’re a bit surprised we haven’t met you before, that’s all.”

onlywateristheriver

So, they were going to hold hands then. They’d never actually done the couple-thing before. Not with anyone they actually knew personally outside of her parents and not even then, as her dad had always been a bit overprotective for the brief moments they’d had as dad and daughter. River found that she liked it very much. She didn’t release her wife’s hand even when the older man held out the hot chocolate for her. “Thank you.”

She turned to the girl. “Well, the Doctor and I have had such an interesting history, always meeting out of order. Has she told you about any of it?”

doctor-of-fair-play

No. The answer was ‘no’. She’d not said a word. So many names she never let past her lips, because it hurt too much, because she didn’t want to scare her new friends by letting on how many had been lost while she’d carried on. The Doctor, such a survivor. Always living while those she loved… Perhaps the tension showed - a tightness in her neck, an expression on her face - because Yaz seemed to understand and saved her. “I think we scared the Doctor off talking about personal things when she let on she was two thousand and we threatened her with two thousand birthday parties.”

A small look of confusion touched against Ryan’s face, for she’d once mentioned her age in passing but there had been no talk of parties, but he caught on after a moment, “Right yeah.“

“Love a good party, me,“ the Doctor said, feeling able to take a breath, “but so many candles. Don’t really want to be blamed for another fire - Rome was bad enough.” She took a sip of her hot chocolate. “Why don’t you tell them ‘bout the Byzantium, dear? That was a good one. This one decided the best was t’drop by the TARDIS would be to fling herself out another ship’s hatch.”

0nlywateristheriver

“Two thousand birthday parties? I don’t even think she’s ever had even one.” River nudged the Doctor with her shoulder. “Dad and I tried to throw him a surprise birthday party once. Mum was supposed to keep him occupied for a couple of hours. They didn’t come back for two days! He never could quite explain why, but I think Mum had let it slip somehow what we’d been planning.” River’s eyes got misty for a moment.

She gathered herself back together. “The Byzantium. Right. You were so young then.” She smiled at the Doctor then winked at Yaz. “He looked about twelve years old, and so easy to get all flustered. Particularly when I landed right on top of him when he pulled me into the TARDIS.”

#doctor-of-fair-play #rp #13 #river song

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parksfabray-blog · 6 years

Text

Stand By Me | Dominer

Who: @dominicjamesjones, @skypucks, & @pfabray

When: Friday, January 12th 2018

Where: Dom’s place

Notes: Parker goes to Dom’s place confronts him on why he has been distant and she gets heartbreaking news.

Triggers: Death, Alcohol.

Skylar knew that today was important for her to be there for her friend. Granted she didn't feel right about being there, like she didn't feel right be there a year ago. She placed the empty bottles on his counter and walked back into the living room where she came from "Im gonna go, I didn't find anyone to cover my shift, but obviously there's water in your fridge." She said as she fixed her hair as she looked at her friend. "Are you going to be okay if I leave? If not, I can text Parker and Im sure she'll be over here in two seconds."

Dom had been drinking a little bit but wasnt completely wasted, at least not like the night before. Today was a hard day and he wished he could just fast forward it all. He didn't want to feel it anymore. That loss the day his grandpa died. He was sitting on the couch and the one person that he called but shouldnt have was Skylar. She was the only one that understood. She was there that night when he got the call from his mother. He didn't even get to say goodbye. "It's fine" he shook his head. "You can go if you want I'll be fine" he stood up and felt dizzy a bit. "I'll walk you out." he said nodded towards the front door of his new house. Dom blinked slowly and he moved towards the door. "Thank you." he spoke. "For being here. I'm sorry I'm a mess."

Skylar slowly nodded. "Alright." She said softly and watched him stood up. "You dont have to, its fine." She followed him towards the door and stopped as she looked at him. "Not a problem, we're friends now right? Nah, no need to apologize. Really, you're allowed to grieve and work through your grief." She gave him a small smile before she gave him a hug. "Now, call that girl of yours." She gave him a knowing look and opened up the door. She started to walk and stopped before she turned to face him. "I mean it Dom. She needs to know."

Dom hugged her back briefly and he walked her outside. "I know I know. I'll tell her." He nodded. Dom paused as they were outside and he leaned over and pulled her into another hug. "Thanks again. I just..needed someone you know." He watched her leave and as he walked back inside he got his phone out to text Parker. -hey, so i need to talk to you about that thing that I told you i wanted to talk to you about. can you come over?- He pressed send and starred at his phone waiting for a response.

Parker was glad that Avery's regular babysitter was able to watch her, since she couldn't help but think about what was going on with Dom. She didn't want Avery to worry about her. She slipped her hands into her dress pockets as she paced back and forth, waiting to hear something from him since he ghosted, kind of anyways. "Fuck it." She grabbed her keys, grabbed her phone and headed over to his new place. She made sure that her door was locked and headed over to his place. Parker felt her heart dropped when she saw Skylar leaving his place and hid some bushes when she saw him outside with her. Was it the thing he wanted to talk to her about? She couldn't believe this was happening, nothing was making any sense. She poked her head above the bush and saw him pulled her into a hug. No, no. This was insane. She felt her phone vibrate a bit later and pulled it out. She stood up once she knew that Skylar was gone and headed up to his front door. -I'm at the front door.- She pressed sent, pocketed her phone and felt her blood boiling.

Dom sat up straight on the couch when Parker texted back so quickly. That was fast. He frowned and then went to the front door. He was a little tipsy but not drunk drunk. Not like she's seem him before. He opened the door and smiled. "Hi" he said. "What did you do run over here?" he asked a little sad chuckle came from his lips. He let her inside. "I'm sorry its still a mess. I havent had the motivation to unpack just yet" Dom wasn't in his usual chipper mood and for good reason. But Parker seemed upset maybe? "Is everything okay?" he asked.

Parker took a couple of breaths as she tried to control her emotions and looked up when she heard him open up the door. "Hi." She said softly and shook her head. "No, I was actually on my way over here." She looked at him, knowing that he was tispy and swallowed hard when she heard the chuckle. She shut the door behind her then moved into the living room, liking the place better than her own and closed her eyes. "No, um. I need to know if Skylar and you are back together because I refuse to be that girl who had high hopes of us getting back together when apparently she's over here and how much have you drink? Because if you're going to be drinking again, then Avery's not going over here until you're sober a.and I wont be with you if you're heavily drinking again and." She rolled her eyes at herself since her nerves got the best of her.

Dom frowned. "What?" he was so confused and Parker seemed so upset. He knew that telling her what he wanted to know was going to break her heart. "Im sorry, I'm sorry" he walked towards he and put his hands on her shoulders. "I'm not with Skylar. I'll explain okay. Just let me explain. I had a couple drinks I know I'm sorry. I just...today is a hard day." he couldn't help it when the tears started to fall from his eyes. He shook his head and sat down on the couch. "I don't want to tell you. Because I don't want you to feel the way I'm feeling right now and how I felt this way last year." he was almost balling now. "You might want to sit down" he said as he looked up at her.

Parker looked at him before she let out a breath and rested her head. "Thank god or I mightve done something stupid. Im sorry, Im sorry." She said. She looked up to see tears rolling down his cheeks, making her on the verge of tears and wiped them from his cheeks. "Baby, what's going on." She sat down next to him and rubbed his back. "Hey, whatever it is, we can work through it together as a team." Her head was spinning in all kinds of different directions now.

Dom shook his head. "I shouldve told you last year. But we werent in a good place and I didn't know how. I didn't want to break your heart again. I just couldnt." he swallowed thickly. "Grandpa passed away last year. Exactly one year ago today." He looked at her and he started to cry again. "Im sorry I didn't tell you. I just couldn't." he shook his head. "Skylar was with me when I found out. We were trying to be friends. Like actual friends and this whole week when the anniversary was coming up I panicked and she came over. We're jsut friends kinda of...not really. It doesnt matter though and I'm just so sorry."

Parker furrowed her eyebrows again as she rubbed his arm and stopped when she heard that grandpa passed away. "No." She said as she stood up, taking a deep breath and started to cry as she walked away from him. "No, not grandpa. H-How?" She swallowed hard as she tried to focus on him and sat down as she couldnt focus on him anymore. Her grandpa, the one family member who adopted her into the family. The other person she wanted to see while they were in Ohio, was gone. She buried her face in her hands as she bawled, feeling heartbroken and wasn't for sure what to feel. Between hearing that grandpa Jones was gone, the fact that Skylar was with him when he found out and the fact that she had been with him this whole week. She wasn't only grieving one death and heartbroken because of losing grandpa jones, but she was heartbroken to learn that Dom had kept this from her and had his ex there instead of her. The supposed be the love of his life, the mother of his child. "I-I don't care, you should've told me that he was gone, Dominic. I would've been there despite being in a bad place, not her." She looked up at him. "H-He was my grandpa too a..and now he's never going to meet his great granddaughter because of me and how selfish I was when it came to keeping her a secret from you guys." She let out a shaky breath as she rubbed her hands on her shorts and sniffed as she gotten up. "Do you have anymore alcohol?"

Dom hated to see her cry because it made him cry in return. He shook his head. "I know I know I should have. I'm sorry Parks. I'm so sorry" He frowned and shook his head. "You did what you thought was best and I should have told you. I didn't want to hurt you again. I didn't mean for Skylar to be there. I didn't want her to be there but she was and I can't change that. I can't change any of this and I just...I'm sorry." he took a deep breath and looked up at her as she stood. "Yeah in the kitchen." he said.

Parker "No, I didn't. Its obvious I didn't. Between two years ago and now, I didn't make the right choice." Parker said as she looked at him and shook her head before she let out a bitter chuckle. She walked into the kitchen, grabbed whatever she could find and took a swig of it. It had been years since she had straight alcohol, but she needed it. She spotted some whiskey, drank some and put the lid on it as she swallowed it. She could feel herself kind of tispy, but she wanted more. More to numb the pain. She grabbed the bottle, sat down in front of the couch and took the cap off of it before she took a drink from the bottle.

Dom watched her walk off to the kitchen and when she came back he looked over at her. They sat on the couch in silence for a long time. It felt like forever. He reached over to hold her free hand. He said silent not really knowing what to say. What could you say at a moment like this? He already apologized and explain. He felt horrible. He didn't want her to feel the same and here she was drinking on his couch, a place he never thought she would be.

Parker sniffed as she licked the whiskey from her lips and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand that held the bottle to get the rest of it off of her lips. "Was the funeral nice?" She finally asked softly as she looked at him and looked back ahead after she put the cap back onto the bottle. "I take it that she went with you there too?" She shouldnt be like this, but she was distraught, heartbroken and not knowing what else to say.

Dom frowned. "I wouldn't know. I didn't go" he said looking down at his lap and away from her. He couldnt look back at her and see the hurt in her eyes. "This week was the first time I talked to Skylar since last year.. Is that what you are really upset about here? That she was there and not you?" he asked finally looking over at her and shaking his head.

Parker glanced over at him and pulled her hand out of his hand before she placed the cap onto the bottle. "I honestly don't give a damn about Skylar now. I was a little upset at the fact that she was there and not me, but right now Im really upset at the fact that you didn't tell me that grandpa jones passed away when it happened. Im really upset at the fact that you chose to keep that information from me and I get that why, because you're in the grieving process and sure we were in a bad place, but I would've put that to the side to be there for you because I knew how much he meant to you and to your family." She swallowed some as she looked at him. "You didn't want to open up to me right away and wanted to wait to tell me. I get that, I do but dom. We're trying to be a couple again but we can't when one of us closes the other one off." She placed the bottle onto the floor and looked at him. "Your issues are my issues, your problems are mine. Your loses are mine." She swallowed hard as she studied him and shook her head. "We cant be Dom and Parks if we don't tell each other things. If we don't then we're going to end back in the place when we broke up the first time. And I am glad that she was there for you, because at least one of us were and is there for you."

Dom shook his head. “Really because it seems like oh do when you’re passive aggressive with me about her.” Dom stood up. “I told you why I didn’t tell you and yeah maybe it wasn’t the right thing to do but you have no right to blame me for not telling you when you kept a big ass secret from me for two years. It’s just as worse and hypocritical.” He shook his head. “I don’t want to fight with you today parker. Not today. I just can’t. I’m sorry and I’ll say sorry over and over again as much as you want me to but I can’t change it.” He had so much more that he wanted to say but he just couldn’t. It was exhausted and felt like before they broke up when they fought all the time. He looked at the floor. “I’m sorry,” He said quietly with sadness in his voice. He could feel himself starting to cry again.

Parker shook her head when he apologize. "No, don't be. You have a point. Im the one who should be sorry." She whispered after she let everything that he had said settled in and sat away from him. She wasn't for sure what else to say, so she stood up, grabbed the bottle of whiskey and placed it on the counter. She quietly found a box that was marked glasses, grabbed two and filled them with water after she washed them. She placed a glass for him in front of him and sat down where she was at and placed her glass next to her. "I think you should stay with Avery and I, I don't want you staying here by yourself. If you want, that is. Im not going to force you to stay with me though. I'll sleep on the couch and you can sleep in the bed."

Dom took the glass from her and he took a big gulp. He closed his eyes and ran his hand over his head. “Okay.” He agreed. “No it’s okay I don’t want to be alone tonight.” He moved behind the couch and put his hand on her shoulder. He leaned down and kissed the top of her head. “I’ll pack a bag.”

Parker nodded. "Okay." She spoke softly. She closed her eyes when she felt his hand on her shoulder and bit down on her bottom lip as she stopped a sob from escaping. She nodded again as she grabbed her water, took a drink, placed it next to her and pulled her knees close to her chest. She let out a shaky breath as she placed her hands on the back of her neck and rested her forehead against her knees. She knew that they would be back where they were because of her and they didn't that. Especially when there was their daughter now.

Dom went to his bedroom and packed a small bag of clothes. He moved back out to the living room seeing parker crawled up in a little ball. He frowned and moved quickly beside her. “Parks.” He said her name and pulled her into a tight hug. “Come here.” He spoke.

Parker wrapped her arms around him and stuffed her face into the crook of his neck. "Im so sorry." She whispered, knowing that she had a plan to take their family to visit grandpa Jones now.

Dom held her close and rubbed her arm reassuringly. “It’s ok” He whispered. “It’s gonna be okay.” He held her close for a while and pulled away slowly. He looked at her and touched her cheek. “I’m sorry too.”

Parker felt him rubbed her arm and let out a shaky breath. She sniffed as she nodded against him, wiped away some of the tears before she looked at him and shook her head. "You dont have to be sorry." She gave him a small smile and looked at him.

Dom looked down at her and he nodded. "Yeah I do" he kissed her forehead and pulled her closer. "Who's watching Avery right now?" he asked. He didn't want to walk in all crying and stuff with some babysitter he didn't know.

Parker shook her head. "No because you had a point." She whispered as she closed her eyes when he kissed her forehead and rested her head on his shoulder. "Her regular babysitter, Monica that watches her during the week and she's over there at her house." She swallowed some as she let out a breath.

Dom nodded. "You wanna get into bed and just watch movies all night and get a big tub of ice cream?" he asked. "Like we used to? Order pizza then?" he asked. Dom wanted to distract himself from the day. And he knew she probably needed it as well.

Parker sniffed as she nodded and stayed close to him. "Yeah and I'll tell Monica that Avery can stay there tonight. She has a daughter who's Avery's age and I don't want her to see us like this. Not yet." She closed her eyes as she licked her lips and listened to his heartbeat.

Dom nodded. "Yeah me either." he took a break. "You wanna just stay here for a little while then" he said as he kept her in his arms. He didn't want to let go. Ever. He wished he could keep her safe and stop all the hurting she was feeling right now because he knew how it felt. He was feeling it too.

Parker "Yes please." Parker replied as she rubbed his arm the best she could do and closed her eyes. She stayed quiet for a while before she opened up her eyes and looked around the best she could. "By the way, when we do order pizza, you're gonna answer the door."

Dom nodded. "i can do that." he smiled. "Lets go back over to your place yeah?" he asked. Dom stood up and he reached out his hand for her to take. He helped her up and kept her hand in his as he picked up his overnight bag. He walked out the front door with her and they walked down the road hand and hand towards Parker's.

#para:dom #para:#para:sbm #death tw #alcohol tw

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cauldronoflove · 7 years

Note

Ok so this is really obscure, but I've had this idea for a while now, and I'd love to see you work with it? Headcanons for a time travel AU in which Peter Parker is messing with Stark Tech and gets sent back to the 1940s? He could work with Peggy Carter in the SSR to solve the case and pretend to be her little brother. Plus in 2017 Tony and Steve working together to get him back. If you think it's weird or want to skip it no worries! If not, then thank you so much, I love your headcanons!!

i love this concept so much you dont even know?? but also okay i realized abt halfway through these 2.5k+ words that this wasnt exactly what you asked for and i feel kinda bad about that but i hope you still like it all the same!! also i wanna say thank you for thinking of me for this prompt im super flattered????

- peter wasnt technically supposed to be in the 4th basement of stark tower

- technically he was on his lunch break and was supposed to be using said time to both eat and work on his spanish homework

- but he'd heard these whispers from a couple of the older interns about some of the old stuff that mr. stark had thrown down there because he never had time to finish them and peter had an idea

- see, he's been wanting to move up a bit, have mr. stark trust him a little more, and what's better then maybe taking one of his old designs and making it better and making it work

- so thats why he's in the fourth basement of stark tower, trying to remember if he's had his tetanus shot because some of this stuff is seriously Old

- and then he stumbles onto this little pyramid shaped....doohickey

- its the only thing in 4 floors of Things that doesnt have a label or a file or a crude drawing taped to the front of it so now peter is Officially Curious

- he kinda fiddles with it for a few minutes until his phone beeps with his 'hey pete youre gonna be super late getting back to work again' alarm and he about drops this thing on the floor because like everyday the alarm scares him to death

- but because hes clumsy and because hes pete he actually does drop it and everything goes black

- but everything's fine because he wakes right back up and he's pretty sure that he electrocuted himself but thats happened dozens of times so he picks himself up and brushes himself off and realizes that he may have been out longer than he thought because theres fewer boxes in the room than before and geez his head hurts

- "are you quite alright?"

- oh god he mustve hit his head harder than he thought because that looks like

- "m-miss carter, no sorry, ma'am? oh, oh god i'm so sorry that was so rude, agent? agent ma'am?"

- "this is howard's fault isnt it"

- "howard? as in....oh god oh god"

- "do you know where you are?"

- peter parker loved a lot of things and one of those things was museums and one of those museums in particular had an exhibit on a certain mr. rogers and adjacent to that exhibit was a small plaque about the woman standing in front of him and oh god he was going to hyperventilate and throw up in front of a literal legend and hero at the same time

- "remind me to kill him later. right now lets get you something warm to drink, yes? maybe some new clothes, youre looking a little singed"

- flash forward half an hour and he's sitting in front of the agent carter sipping at some terribly bitter coffee while she pursed and unpursed her lips a few times

- (annnnd time skip back to present day)

- friday: mr stark theres a woman downstairs beating on the door asking for youtony, 47 names going through his head: ...go on

- enter may parker, in her pjs, fire in her eyes, carrying on the legacy of brunette women ready to end a stark's life

- "it is ten o'clock on a school night, i've talked to ned, i've talked to mj and liz, i've talked to every corner sub shop owner, i even had a nice long chat with pepper, yet no one could tell me anything so you better have answers as to where my nephew is anthony"

- and in that moment, tony stark's life flashed before his eyes

- "hey, friday, where is the kid?"

- "peter's vitals havent been detected since 1:32pm on floor D"

- tony: fu-

- (back to pete and peggy)

- so he's quickly caught her up on the gist of whats going on (aka he told her he's from 2017 ny and hed really just like to go home) and she's taking it surprisingly well, all nodding and hmm-ing and cursing howard stark under her breath, kinda how may is when tony does like.. anything

- but now shes leading him through their super secret base and he's trying not to stare because, has he mentioned, hes literally standing next to peggy carter

- "right, well, here's your cot. if you need anything, dugan can help you. he's that one, there, with the cigar. you get some rest and i'll find howard and see if we cant get your...issue squared away. oh, and whatever you do, dont accept anything dernier tries to give you, you've already blown up once today, i dont think you can afford another"

- present day

- tony's been working through the night, a marginally-more-than-slightly disgruntled may beside him, and an even-more-than-marginally-more-than-slightly peeved happy beside her

- ("how do you lose a teenage boy, tony" happy moans to his phone when he wakes up and sees all the missed calls and texts he has)

- good news: it only took like 2 1/2 hours and three shots of espresson for tony to figure out what happened to peter

- bad news: it wasnt even a Tony Stark Exclusive Design, it was a Howard Stark One-Time Use That Was Actually A Malfunction Design, he'd had several more coffees that werent even close to being strong enough, and he had a growing black eye from the punch may landed before happy could pull her away and calm her down (maybe that last part should be in the good news column)

- "so he's just stuck in the 40s alone, then" may surmises, rubbing at the tension headache in her temples

- tony doesnt respond because at this point he needs his other eye for miracle working and depth perception

- "well, probably not alone," happy begins. "i catalogued everything in that level, and that stuff came from one of howard's london facilities, so it was probably calibrated for that time, so he's probably with-"

- tony: "hap, please dont finish that sentence"

- may: "1940s london. so he's with steve, then, safe. with captain america. okay, i can handle that."

- tony: "no, ah, a little later than capsicle, probably"

- may: "so not safe with captain america"

- happy: "safe with agent carter, more likely"

- pete and peggy

- good news: pete made it through the night without being blown up by the howling commandoes

- bad news: once howard was finally located and sobered up, he explained that he hadnt built that particular device yet, so peter was kinda stuck

- peter wasnt coping well

- "i have a spanish test tomorrow! and a trig test on friday! and i'm supposed to hang out with ned on saturday, and then may's gonna kill me when i dont show up for sunday dinner, and shes gonna kill me in general because i never checked in because holy shit i never checked in!"

- howard: peggy he's crying what do i do

- peggy: do i have to do everything myself

- she advances on peter and takes his chin in her hand, locking eyes with him: peter, you know who i am, dont you?

- he nods as best as he can

- "then you must know that i'm going to do everything in my power and then some to get you back home, dont you?"

- "yes ma'am"

- "good. go take a walk while i talk to howard, and if anyone asks, youre my american brother in for a short visit." and then she pats him on the cheek and his soul kinda ascends then and there because agent carter just patted him on the cheek AND gave him permission to tell people he's her brother

- so he goes to take his walk but the thing is when he gets anxious, he likes to fiddle with the loose legos he keeps under his bed, building and rebuilding tiny structures to help ease his nerves

- needless to say, he's an Absolute Nervous Wreck while he waits for some kind of something from peggy or howard and there arent any legos to keep him busy

- so he kind of takes that walk right on down to the lab and starts poking around because even if he is a certified nervous wreck he's also thr most inquisitive little shit that ever did walk the earth

- peggy finds him two hours later with a pair of loose fitting goggles on his forehead, his sweater sleeves pushed up to his elbows, and some . substance on his hands

- "please dont tell me youre somehow howard's long lost son too," she says, taking his appearance in

- he shakes his head as the beakers in front of him emit a puff of green smoke directly into his already scrunched up face "no ma'am; it's just that mr. stark kinda has me on desk duty and never lets me get my hands dirty so i like to take every oppurtunity i can get"

- she nods, "good, because howard needs you to describe what you remember of the device, and then you and i are going to begin the slog through the logistics of it all"

- "ooooookay"

- which is how peter parker ends up sitting across from peggy carter, the both of them scribbling extremely advanced mathematics onto yellowing sheets of paper as howard stark tinkered with some spare parts he had lying around as he tried to construct a crude rendering of the device

- peggy mostly doesnt talk, actually, she hasnt spoken since explaining that shed picked her math skills up on an assignment shed once had where she learned she actually loved numbers and then howard had been letting her do calculations for him in her free time

- peter was too impressed to respond bc from what he gathered she'd only been on that mission for six months and she didnt have much free time which meant she'd had to pick it all up FAST

- anyway, they got at that for hours, until peter cant keep his eyes open and even howard is dwindling; peggy waves them both off to bed but stays and keeps scribbling away

- they repeat that routine for 3 days

- on the 5th night, after she waves them off, peter goes to his cot and he tosses and turns for hours, listening to the commandoes play poker and crack jokes, but he cant sleep

- finally he gets up and just starts walking, anywhere his feet take him

- coincidentally, his feet take him past what he quickly realizes is peggy's room

- "peter why are you still up? is everything all right?" she asks, pulling off these big hulking glasses that made him incredibly homesick because she reminds him so much of may in that moment, big glasses on, hunched over a book in her lap, hair pulled back out of her face

- and he apologizes, but she Knows something's terribly wrong, so she gets up and ushers him away from her doorway, and leads him down a hall or two and then theyre standing in an open space, and she's looking at him like shes trying to solve one of her equations

- "do you know how to throw a punch, peter"

- " whatever youre thinking i dont think its a good idea we dont have any gear and i dont want to get hurt-"

- she shakes her head and asks again, and he finally answers with a kinda

- "'kinda' will get you hurt; watch me" and she begins to demonstrate a few slow punches and he follows her movements and tries to copy them but hes a little sloppy but its ok because she corrects him and finally theyre just standing beside one another counting out punches when she asks "whats on your mind"

- and he doesnt even hesitate he just lets loose everything, how much he misses may and how terrible he feels that he cant get in touch with her, how much he misses ned and mj and liz, how much he misses his fire escape and the deli on the corner and the buildings and then he's crying again, but she gracefully doesnt point it out

- once he's done spitting out everything thats bothering him she gets this kind of sad smile and says, "you remind me of a man i knew. he cared so much about his friends, sometimes to the point of not even worrying about himself, whuch meant he was always in some sort of trouble, as you can imagine. but he always found his way out of a problem, even if he was the one who created it." she laughs slightly then. "i guess what i'm getting at is even if i cant get you back home, even if howard cant, i believe that youll figure it out."

- "are you comparing me to captain anerica right now because i'm already crying and i dont think i can take much more" he says through sniffles, his arms slack by his sides now

- she smiles and nods, keeping her stance, and peter feels an overwhelming sense of gratitude for this amazing woman who immediately helped him without much of a pause and who's made sure he was okay for the past 5 days and who's up at god knows what time showing him how to throw a punch and being his borderline therapist and he just wants to give her something in return

- "im not sure if im supposed to do this, because for all i know it could tear a hole in the fabric of time and space but i really want to show you this," he begins, pulling his wallet put of his pocket.

- he flicks the little photo holders out and theres may, and theres ned and mj and liz, and theres that cat he found that one time, and theres him and tony, and there, at the bottom, is the time he officially met steve after the whole fight thing and all

- "this was taken a couple months ago; well, a couple months for me, it's decades from now, but here," and he holds out his wallet for her to see and she looks over the photo curiously before she understands and a tear slips down her cheek and she smiles the most grand smile

- "thank you, peter" and she passes the wallet back and puts her hand on his shoulder and says "i promise i'll have you home in time for sunday dinner"

- and she does

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survivor-kuwait · 5 years

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Episode 6 - "Going to bide my time before I could take a shot at any of them." - Maynor

Damn, between Renee and Chloe to get the choppy choppy and it's Renee. the two people I have been speaking to. Wtf. Also clearly Chloe has not been stepping up that much with the social game. i need to find better people to align with.

Well, that didnt go according to plan and now Im by myself. I really trusted Renee in this game. Like I dont have anyone else in this game like that kind of connection. If Im being honest i dont think any of these people really want to work with me 🤷‍♂️ There like 3 people i feel like i can trust but they might just be total bs but theres Ian, Matt S, and Timmy. Even tho i feel like Timmy is gunna want to kill me soon. The only good thing is that i know F2,G2 were hits. So i need to guess at 5 am for 2 days to have all the hits me and Renee discovered. Hopefully no one has found this one either. Cuz i feel like i really need an idol if I end up in warzone again.

God not being us to Skype is really causing me inactivity. Hopefully it doesn't bite me in the ass.

These people are dumb. That is all. Miss you Renee :(

Can i just scratch everything i said before? Im just gunna play a solo game from now on and not care about anyone else. No one really seems they want to play with me. So im just gunna be a floater in the game to try n make moves happen. Hopefully if i end up in warzone these people would actually try and talk game then waiting to the last ugly minute to is so annoying. The only person i hope voted with me is Matt. I really enjoyed talking to him so hopefully he is trustworthy. Like i also want to believe Trace voted Cloe but he doesnt seem someone you should trust but he was the one to tell me it was between Renee and Cloe so like he told the truth but maybe not the way he was voting. Rant down for now. Might have more.

Renee was voted out at the last Warzone, my initial reaction was she was voted out because she had won multiple immunities and people wanted to pick off others that were perceived as challenge threats. This is partly influenced by my prerogative to vote off people who can beat me in challenges. My whole premerge game is about me being perfectly average in challenges, I don't do the best but I don't do the worst. I'm always a solid contributor to my tribe, this format has me second guessing that motif I have for myself. I questioned Corey when he was added back into the Nar chat as to why Renee was voted out, he reminded me of the fact that he felt Renee has had it out for him since the get go. I believe him in that sense because he did say that to me on founding day of Nar. If Corey fully swayed that vote to go to Renee because of those reasons that's a player I want to ally with and be my shield. I think there were ulterior motives going on behind it though. That being said, I do want Corey to see me as a long term partner in this game, I shared with him the fact that I have an advantage, but not my true advantage. I told him that I have a double vote, a double vote is probably the weakest power any one could have in Survivor but seems powerful in a Warzone type setting. Letting him know I have a "double vote" endears him to my side, without him actually knowing I have a pretty strong advantage, The Topaz Idol. It's like a double vote but more like a multiple vote. Chloe keeps surviving and I am so fucking here for it, the more her tribe wants her gone the better it is for everyone on Nar if we can fucking stick together, I don't trust them to stay strong but who knows how people will hide when their neck is at risk. Chloe is an "easy vote" shield but also a vote with Nar the more Ma'an, henceforth will be refered to as "Mane", wants her to be booted.

okay uhm.....so this confessional is coming after the tribal council in which renee was voted out. i was completely blindsided and not in the loop at all about the vote there. i ws told by literally everyone that the vote was chloe and that she was 100% going out. so when renee's name came up 6 times, i was completely shocked. corey told me that the reason i was left out of the loop for the vote was because i'm close to madison and madison is close to renee. so they didn't tell me so tht i wouldn't tell madison. hmm....seems fishy! let's just say i came out of this tribal council not trusting anyone but madison. i'm glad she is my partner and i'm gonna try and get us both immunity this round so that we don't risk going to another tribal bc i could def see us becoming a target soon

youtube

I had my masters exam today so i couldnt spend all day doing it which sucks. I only got up to 31. I dont think imma win immunity. Im most likely going to warzone and Imma be going home most likely if Madison/Jacob/Kage are in there. It sucks. Imma keep trying but i also work at 5pm and challenge is due at 7 so i lose 2 hrs there and its 3:20 right now. And cuz all this I havent eaten at all today.

What I have learned from this challenge is that both the movie Sausage Party as well as Female Genital Mutilation have more average searches per month than World Hunger..by a large margin too, and if that doesn't show what's wrong with this world then I don't know what will.

Corey sending me a message ‘i want to touch up on the vote from last night’ I said okay amd what happened? He has not responded at all. Like you lied thats the simplest answer. Because Renee and I werent coming for you so there wasnt a main reason that I could think of to take out Renee. But gunna be nice and play like oh no worry, i understand. Going to bide my time before i could take a shot at any of them.

This is it, corey and devon are safe, nehe isnt. If I can get chloe and others on board nehe will go home tonight. However.... nehe told me he has an idol, so that complicates things. Ideally I can blindside him and we’re good, but doubting that I just have to make sure the other votes dont land on me. Which means... subtlety. Never my strong point.

Ah shit here we go again. Last tribal really left me with a lot of pieces to pick up and I’m really wishing we had done the easy thing and voted chloe. I like her but I worry that I won’t be able to salvage a relationship with Maynor and Madison who I do like. I’m content with being honest about flipping, even tho I did sort of augment the circumstances. It’s better than doubling down and saying I voted for chloe when I didn’t. And truly I do wish I had voted with them so I hope I can convey that. Being back with Adrian is interesting because he is super close with Corey and Corey sort of has some followers here who I don’t really have strong relationships with without him connecting us. I also feel really nervous about playerslike him and Nehe who are bringing old game shit in, and I don’t want to be collateral damage in their wars against one another. I’m ready to do my own damage.

With immunity again after last week's tribal council, I am feeling pretty good. Devon, Ian and Trace are immune with me and there p much couldn't be a better group of immune people (Trace and Adrian are interchangeable). I hope, from those who are at tribal, Madison, Matt, Adrian and Cullan make it out unscathed. Renee leaving last week was a success to me. I took the first shot and I didn't miss. It also gave me 5 people who I built trust with who will want to use me as an asset later on (those who were part of the plan). As for this tribal council, Maynor or Thomas leaving is ideal. We left Maynor out on the vote this week so I don't know if he'd flip easily to the other side (sort of like Chloe voting with us to get Renee out). However, to keep 4 available immunity positions in our tribe, ideally it's someone from the other side that leaves. I have not interacted with Thomas once nor Stevie (but Stevie is Owen's capricorn tribe mate). Those two boys leaving would be fine by me. I hope there are fights and drama and whatnot as the more things happen and we focus on other people's business, the more I can fade back into the background after getting Renee out last week. With Nehe at tribal this time, who knows. Ian and I have gotten really close and I hope to get far with him. He told me about his double vote and we made our loyalty/alliance to one another official I guess? I also am part of a 4 person alliance, termed "Golden Boys" of Devon, Adrian, Matt and myself. I am trying to set myself up as much as I can so that when we merge or tribes get swapped around, I have people I can rely on. We'll be down to 17 people tomorrow night which is still a very big number and way too early to be loud or making flashy moves. I'm in the process of uncovering an idol or some power of sorts and believe I will have it tomorrow because I have 4 hits on it as of today. I will tell Ian about it. I trust him. I am staying alert and continuously developing my social game to the best of my abilities.

I’m so happy I am safe this round! Kait, Owen, and I are the only ones on our tribe who have been immune every round. I would love for us to group together to keep each other safe, but also I know out of the three that I am the weakest one. But for the time being it seems like at least an okay idea. I will try to make it happen and see where it goes because we could all be good together and work something out because when merge comes people will try to target those who have been safe for the longest time. At least naturally that’s what i would try since they are more likely to win individual immunity. I just hope things work out well for the next couple of rounds.

So I learned lots of things from Matt in this warzone. It looks like it was gunna 5-5 vote last time but he flipped last second not wanting it to be a tie. Im some what upset cuz Renee left but Matt wants to play with me so I feel like I can trust him. I hope. Turns out that Madison actually did vote with me last time so she is in my good side again and i feel bad for doubting she was with me. This vote I want it to go my way. Im hoping i can pull it off. My target is still unknown for right now. Im not the only one that feels like Nehe is a snake. Adrian and Matt know that he is a sneaky player. Tbh I would want to target him sooner rather than later.

I'm starting to think Madison is sitting out all of these challenges to get into the warzone to try to build relationships to propel herself forward if she makes merge, it's a risky strategy but would have huge pay off if it works. I'm gonna go ahead and subvert her expectations by pointing that out to Corey and hopefully get the rumor mill going against her. I see you and I don't like it.

So the vote looks like its gunna be Nehe and Im okay with that. I dont really trust him after he lied to me about the first vote we were together. It may bring my schances of immunity down to 3 but its worth having people to trust in this game.

Love the safety again...naturally I don’t have much to say because I haven’t gone to tribal in a while and I’m so thankful for that. Tbh I’m assuming Chloe will go tonight because it’s the easiest vote but who knows. Hoping it’s someone from the other tribe though that way there can still be 4 safe on my tribe. But also I want a twist tonight.

Tirns out I dont need to plot, we’re voting nehe tonight. Thanks Cullan. However, in case of an idol play I’m voting thomas, plausible deniability and all that.

Ok, so this vote I am controlling very well in my favor as long as I’m not the one going home. I believe I have everyone on Nehe and Nehe is voting Thomas. Nehe thinks all of Nar is voting with him to vote out Thomas who is inactive so let’s hope I don’t get blindsided.

#survivorstarzone #episodes

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itsdjjones · 7 years

Text

You’re My Home | Dominer

TAGGING: @notpeterxparker & @itsdjjones

WHEN: 8/31 Thursday night

WHERE: Dominer’s apartment

NOTES: fluff stuff. Talking about their relationship - recovering from a hard week

Parker wasn't really looking forward to be talking to Dom since she wanted to focus on him and his boxing, but she knew that she had too. Ever since the weekend's events and what happened the other day, Parker had been on edge. She tried to hide it, but of course that failed because of how easy Dom could read her and has been like that since high school. Something that she kinda hated but loved at the same time. She let out a breath as she left the bathroom, turned off the light and picked up Pajamas after she adjusted her shirt. She placed their dog at the edge of the bed, slipped underneath the covers and snuggled into her boyfriend after she got close to him. She opened up her mouth, before she closed it and stuffed her face into his chest. "Can we get thousand of puppies?" She asked with her voice muffled.

DJ knew something was going on with Parker. The past weekend hadn't been easy with the dinner and then him getting hurt. He pulled her into him as she got into bed and he kissed the top of her head. "Sure" he said softly. After a moment of silence he looked up at the ceiling and spoke. "So you gonna tell me whats going on babe?" he asked softly. "You're not mad at me are you?"

Parker nodded as she laid her head against his chest and heard his heartbeat before she ran a finger down his arm. "Yeah." She replied softly and shook her head against his chest. "I can't be mad at you for more than three hours, everything falls apart and you have this look that you do it kinda kills me to be mad at you and Im rambling, Im sorry." She sighed softly as she swallowed hard and ran a hand over her hair. "I feel like ever since the weekend happened, I have this anger that I have no idea what to do with so I've been a bitch and being sassy towards a ton of people and I don't know what to do besides isolating myself from everyone and I trashed my studio the other night and I was a legit meme for I knew you were trouble because I legit was lying on the cold hard ground because it was the only place that didn't have paint brushes." She sniffed some as she paused. "And on top of it all, I feel like you can do so much better than me and deserve someone who's parents love you for you because you're this great guy and I don't know what I did to deserve you to love me. If you think about it, I was an ass towards you when we met."

DJ chuckled a bit and he smiled. "I guess that's good for me then" He looked down at her and listened. "You did?" he asked frowning at her. Dj laughed a little and he held her tighter. "oh baby" He pulled back at bit to talk to her. "Parker...you're the love of my life. I don't give a crap about your parents. Sure it would be nice that they werent assholes but I'm dating you not them. You are all I care about and it's understandable why you're so upset this week. You're parents are horrible and then finding out about me boxing and getting hurt on top of that and worrying you I know didn't help." He leaned forward and kissed her softly. "I love you, I always have, even when you were an ass" he smirked.

Parker nodded with a small smile. "Yeah, it is." she replied. She nodded once more, knowing that she was on the edge of tears, hating what she had done and licked her lips. She wiped away some tears and let out a breath. She listened to him, sniffed and looked at him before she returned the soft kiss. She smiled a little as she looked at him after she propped her head with her hand. "Im still an ass, but Im more milder now and I love you too." She kissed his lips once more before she sat up and grabbed his hand before she interlaced their fingers together. "I, uh. Burned all of the things I had of Jeremy's and pictures along with what I wrote in one of my diaries. I already got rid of his clothes after the breakup, I figured since you burned that picture of Skylar, I should do the same."

DJ shook his head. "Not to me you're not" he looked at her for a while in silence just thinking about how much he loved him. "Is that what you were doing the other day?" he laughed. "i thought you were trying to burn the house down" he teased. His squeezed her hand gently and smiled. "I think it was good for us. Burn the past you know. I mean like the great and wise Taylor Swift once said. "As far as I'm concerned, you're just another picture to burn" he nodded.

Parker shrugged a bit. "Thank you baby." She swallowed as she looked at him. She let out a laugh as she nodded. "Yeah, that's what I was doing the other day." She smiled as she glanced down at their hands and shook her head. "I'm sorry." She looked at him when he squeezed her hand gently and listened to him as she returned the squeeze. "Yeah, that way we can embrace our relationship to the fullest without those anchors from the past dragging into now." She dropped his hand and cupped his cheeks. "Exactly. Besides, the old Parker and Dominic are dead."

DJ looked at her and he laughed. "Oh my god, you just referenced taylor swift and I can't be any more turned on than I am right now" he smirked and leaned in, kissing her again. DJ ran his hand up her side and around to her back as he pulled her closer. He pulled away after a few minutes and kissed her nose. "You still want that back rub baby?" he asked.

Parker raised an eyebrow with a smirked. "Oh, Im sure you can. In fact, I know for sure you can be more turned on than what you right now." She leaned in slightly as she returned the kiss. She had to fight the urge to straddle his hips and smiled when he kissed her nose. "That, I do. I do love your back rubs and massages."

DJ raised an eyebrow. "Oh really?" he laughed. DJ smiled. "Alright flip over" He said as he sat up. He moved over her back to start giving her a back rub. He lifted her shirt and gasped. "Parker!" he said looking at the huge bruise on her body. "Where did you get that bruise?" he asked concern in his voice.

Parker nodded. "Mhm, I know what my man likes." She replied with a chuckle and laid onto her stomach. She petted their dog and swallowed hard when she heard him. She had to stop herself from answering with a sarcastic answer and bit down on her lower lip. "Rollerderby."

DJ got off her and he sad on his knees next to her. "um excuse me what?" he asked raising his eyebrows at her. "I don't think I heard you right. Did you say Roller Derby? What the hell is Roller Derby?" he asked confused. DJ had heard the name before but he didn't actually know what she was talking about and why was she getting bruises from it and why didn't he know?

Parker "I said Roller Derby." Parker said as she sat up and looked at him. "Yeah, I did say Roller Derby. Roller Derby is s a contact sport played by two teams of five members roller skating in the same direction around a track. When they say contact sport, they really mean contact sport. I started last week, I didn't have practice this week due to classes starting up and I was going to tell you last week but with everything going on, it slipped my mind. I also haven't gotten the flyers done for it it yet." She knew that she should've told him sooner than him finding out like this. "I didn't want you to find out like this."

DJ looked at her and shook his head. "Babe, how did you want to find out? I didn't even know you were interested in this." he shrugged. "I mean...that bruise looks really bad babe. Does it hurt?" he asked, before she could answer right then he was talking again. "I mean shit of course it will hurt if I give you a back rub" he sighed and shook his head. "Is it for school?" he asked.

Parker let out a breath at his question and rubbed her forehead. "I was going to give you one of the flyers that I was going to make and be like, look at this and I wanna be part of it. It do-" She closed her mouth and looked at him. "It won't hurt, promise." She shook her head at his question. "No, it's not for school. There's a Roller Derby league that some of the girls from work are on and they asked me despite of my broken wrist."

DJ sighed. "I might be sounding very hypocritical here but... you're get hurt a lot I'm sure." he took a breath and looked at her. "You know I support you though. I just..I wanna know what's going on okay. I feel like with you being upset this week and then roller derby you havent talked to me you know. I want you to know that you can."

Parker nodded slightly when she heard him. "Yeah, one of the girls actually broke her nose...which doesn't help the situation at hand." She swallowed some and knew that they used to talk about a lot of things but it felt like they have closed each other off from communication. "I know and I appreciate it, I really do and okay. I wanted to focus on you instead of focusing on me because I dont want you to feel like you don't matter when you do and....And I miss talking to you about things, like random things as well on top of what's going on and I want you know that you can talk to me, about anything."

DJ shook his head and sighed at her comment and then listened to her once more. "Baby, I matter to you and that's the only thing I need" he nodded. "I miss it too. I feel like since we became a couple we kind of forget to be best friends still" he said softly. DJ took her hand and he swallowed. "Sometimes I just feel like its harder being a couple when it really doesnt have to be. Like I worry more about losing you and so I keep my mouth shut more." he bit on his bottom lip. "Like in high school it was just we were best friends and of course I cared about you and I never wanted to lose you but being a couple now intensifies that I think and it's kinda scary. I was never good at relationships even though I pretended I was. "I always feel like I'm gonna mess up"

Parker swallowed when he took her hand and ran her thumb over the back of his hand. She let him talk, knowing that she agreed with him and blinked away the tears. "What are we gonna do then?" She asked softly as she looked at him and brought one of her knees to her chest. "Because I feel like we're so scared of messing this up and losing each other that we're going to mess it up. And I don't want to lose you either and its definitely kinda scary because of one wrong move then it might be over and we would lose each other and I don't want to live in a world where I messed things up with you." She shook her head and sniffed. "Same."

DJ looked at her and he tilted his head to the side. "yeah me either." he said softly. DJ took her hand again and he kissed her fingers. "I think we just have to be honest with each other and talk to each other you know." he shrugged. "I want you to be so happy that you don't even need. But that you want me to be happy with you because I want to share this crazy life with you. I wanna be that person that you can lean on no matter what. I don't want us to be walking on eggshells because we're both afraid to mess up." he pulled her into his arms as they sat there on the bed together. "I promise that I'm not going anywhere, not matter what happens with us. Okay?"

Parker looked back up at him as he spoke and nodded as she agreed. "Yeah, no matter what its about and be best friends who are going out." She replied as she lowered her legs away from her chest. She wrapped her arms around him as she leaned against him and looked up at him. "I want to be the person who you go to just because of something random happened to you, like back in high school. I don't know how many times we've had talks that were random and I wanna be the person you can lean on too because its been Dom & Parks against the world forever." She paused a bit. "I think the reason why we're afraid of messing up is that, we both were in horrible relationships where the person didn't care about us and we care so much about each other that we're in our own heads." She whispered as she rested her hand on his chest. "I promise that Im not going anywhere, no matter what happens with us. And okay."

DJ nodded. "Yeah you're right. We both had shitty relationships and I'm just thankful that we finally found out way to each other. God, I'd probably be that same stupid kid in high school that didn't know which way was up if it wasn't for you. I can honestly say you changed me Parks. For the better." He leaned in and kissed her softly on the lips. "I love you"

Parker "Yeah, we did because I swear they deserve each other and I am too." Parker replied and shrugged a bit before she looked up at him. "Probably not because I can imagine your mom talking sense into you. And, you changed me for the better too because without you, I think I would be one of those girls who wouldnt try anything that scares me." She cupped his cheek as she returned the soft kiss. "I love you more."

DJ laughed a little and just smiled at her. He looked at her after their lips parted and he shrugged. "You scared of Roller Derby?" he asked. "Because even if I worry, I think it sounds awesome." he said softly. "I just want you to do what you love. And I'll be there every since game to cheer you on." he smirked at her. "I'll get pom poms and everything" he laughed.

Parker gave him a small smile. "A little, but the girls takes care of me and makes sure I don't get hurt." She said and raised an eyebrow. "Oh yeah? I'll make sure to get the flyer done for it." She nodded as she looked at him. "And I love it, but not as much as I love you." She smiled. "Yeah? Does this mean I can cheer you on at your matches? I can be one of those girls who wears a skimpy outfit while holding the card that has the rounds on it." She laughed and rested her forehead in the crook of his neck. "You better or I might be disappointed in the cheering section." She pulled away some to look at him. "Promise me if I do get seriously hurt, you won't jump the railing?"

DJ "Good" He smiled and raised an eyebrow and laughed. He nodded. "yes please do that. I think that might be a big distraction though" he teased. "Hmmm, seriously hurt like you black out hurt? I'm definitely jumping that railing." he nodded. "I wanna come see though. I don't really know how it works so I wanna see you in action" he smiled.

Parker laughed when she heard him. "I'll do it just for you when we're home then, since we don't want you to get knocked out because of the distraction." She replied and nodded against him. "Well, for a few minutes and alright, better over that railing in five seconds." She smiled when she pulled back to look at him. "Seriously? You do?"

DJ nodded. "yeah I wanna know what its all about. maybe I could come to a practice one day or something?" he asked. "Just to see what it's like" he smiled.

Parker pulled away and sat on her knees in front of him with a smile. "Have I told you that you're utterly the best boyfriend in this entire world? Like hands down."

DJ looked at her and he tilted his head. "Have I told you that thats crazy talk and you're the best girlfriend and best friend I could ever ask for. Like in the entire world" he smirked. DJ leaned forward and he kissed her softly.

Parker thought about and looked away before she looked at him. "No, you haven't until now and I try to be. Its not an easy job to be the best friend AND the best girlfriend in the entire world like so many things you hav-." She gotten out before she returned the kiss as she wrapped her arms around his neck and smiled against his lips. "Do you know what I hate the most?"

DJ pulled her into his lap and he smiled and kissed her neck as she spoke. "hmm, what do you hate the most?" he asked softly as his lips moved across her skin. His arms wrapped around her and his hands moved under her shirt, rubbing her back gently.

Parker bit down on her bottom lip as she tried not to smirk as she wrapped her legs around him and felt his lips on her neck. "Well, I was going to say space but that kind of ruined that pickup line." She closed her eyes and let out a sigh as she dipped her head, kissed against his neck.

DJ moved his neck to the side and he ran his hand around to her front, still under her shirt as he groped her. "you hate space? Why?" he asked confused but didn't think about it too much since he was a little distracted at the moment.

Parker swallowed hard when she felt his hands and started to suck on his pulse point as she ran her hands down his chest. "Because I wanna get closer." She murmured as she took off her shirt and focused on his hands.

DJ smirked. "God I love you" he chuckled a little. DJ tossed her shirt off the bed and he moved over her, laying her down on her back. That night went as most other nights went but DJ was glad that they were able to talk for a while. He wasn't always confident in himself as a boyfriend but he knew that as a couple they would last as long as they loved each other and DJ could never see himself not being in love with Parker.

#para #para: parker #para: home

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crumpledjournal · 7 years

Text

5.2.17

so apparently my school does this program where kids can head out into the woods for a weekend every once in a while and just… talk it out i guess. that was this past weekend, Ma (not my mom, a friend) told me to go. my old history teacher had been plugging for the trip for years, but id never actually gone. never thought id be able to explain wanting to go have a feelings jam with a buncha other kids in the woods to my dad. i didnt really until i came back and recapped a little (honoring the agreement i signed before going to not share anyones story from the trip).

on the one hand, i feel so fucking healthy!!! i feel like i have subsisted for the past year off of nothing but avocado smoothies and kale juice and like i have been doing yoga for 85 hours a day and like i finally met a person or two who i can actually speak my mind to and get more than just a “sure dude.” like, good lord does this feel good

i mean, thats what i told Ge and Di and i genuinely believe it. (both Di and i knew basically nobody other than eachother and we were alone in a sea of strangers for the first few hours.)

dont get me wrong, i feel lots better. i got a lot off of my chest. but there was also a lot left unsaid on my part. out of all the people there (about 90) there were two others who shared that they were genderqueer (and there were only like two other people who brought up the topic at all). one of them i had some p bad experiences with in middle school. the other was a student leader and facilitator of the trip, so Re (the leader) didnt really have a lot of time to talk, and in the discussions Re was mostly asking questions and… well, facilitating. plus, gender came up like once. and Re was not there.

but i was! it was nice to talk a little. i was in a meeting with the school principal about installing gender neutral bathrooms at the school a week or two ago and i talked about that with them, and i told them that being genderqueer goes waywaywayway back and lots of other stuff, i guess. but i didnt say anything about my experiences with being genderqueer, really.

and damn did i want to! idk if yall have picked up on this yet (all none of you) but talking to people about my shit is just so healing for me. thats why i have a public journal! like, talking to equals and feeling heard. i could tell my mom or the school therapist (and i do, often) about my shit and its cool, theyre supportive and shit, but since i started this class ive had no time to keep up old friendships that were based around hanging out. like, were still friends i guess, but… playing minigolf over text is just not the same, man.

there was this thing last night where from like, right after dinner until about 3 in the morning, we talked. people had seven minutes that they could use however they wanted in front of the whole group, and it was just their job to listen. and let me tell you, id been crafting my seven minutes for like, three hours before my name came up. the thing is, i planned like twenty minutes of monologue. i talked about a bunch of the family stuff ive got and that was real cathartic. i also got to talk about my struggles with depression, which was a real common topic. but… ive been thinking about the possibility of myself being a trans girl really, really hard over the past couple of months, and i still havent shared that other than with the people whove read this journal.

which is nobody, other than a couple people browsing tags when i talked about moana a little while ago. i havent told that many people i write this, but. i kinda trusted those who i did to read it i guess.

i dunno. i think im most afraid that im not going to have any healthy girl friendships. i see all these women and girls and they have such supportive relationships with eachother. i see it every day. holy shit, if you havent seen the rage and passion with which girls defend their true friends… Hoo Boy.

and im so worried i wont have that! like. i love being agender, and it’s wonderful to have the ability and the knowledge and the acceptance to be an out nonbinary person and not really have so many problems stemming from that in my life. but i have this fear that that ill be in this purgatory of a questioning period for just long enough that when i finally make up my goddamn mind and trust my conviction enough to come out as a trans girl ill have lost the opportunity to have these wonderful, girl-to-girl relationships. as an agender person i feel like so much of an intruder in these female spaces.

Like, Ha (who I met on the trip) was so wonderful and badass, especially considering the amount of shit shes had to go through. jimminy christmas, shes fucking strong. i try not to gender people here but when the topic is gender itself that kind of context feels crucial… but anyways. she came and sat with me when i was eating lunch alone in the corner and brought a couple other girls and. i mean, some of the body language of the others kind of told me they werent super interested in me being there but… it felt… so good. just to be in a female space, just to be included there for the most part, without cis guys around that i would get lumped with.

but then i think i had a panic attack like, near to immediately after that, because i felt like i was making them incredibly uncomfortable by being an intruder in their female space. and when my female friends were having a hard time during the trip (as often happened) i felt like it wasnt my place to comfort them and that as a natal male i would just make them more uncomfortable and they would doubt their friendship with me because so many guys just take advantage of women when they’re at their lowest emotional state and that’s the last thing i want to be seen as and i tried to hug a few women who were having a really hard time over the course of the trip but i just got this churning in my stomach because i might make it worse if i make them think i just want to hug them so i can feel them aginst my stupid fucking body and if i keep writing this sentence then im going to have another panic attack

i dont know what to do. i dont know who to talk to because despite the number of people who said i could come to them this weekend, nobody else talked about gender shit, and those genderqueer people who i do know have just told me to look into my heart and shit, which doesnt help because thats what ive been trying to do. i feel like i cant talk to women because to them ill just be another guy who’s venting because he feels like he can dump all his emotional shit on the closest woman (especially women i just met on the trip, i couldnt ask them to spend however long it takes out of their day to read this when i just met them). i feel like i cant talk to men because if theyre not transphobic to begin with, they either refuse to talk about emotional shit, or can neither relate to feeling like they wont have any healthy girl-to-girl friendships nor realte to being genderqueer. i know im going to send this little essay to somebody soon because i just need to hear at least one other persons thoughts but i dont know who its going to be

and on top of all of that i keep getting these stomach aches at mealtimes and no other time of day and i dont know if it was the confessions from people with eating disorders or something else but my stomach aches and then i dont eat and then it aches because im hungry until the next meal when it aches again and i cant eat and when youre choosing between not eating or eating and feeling like you want to throw up, do you have an eating disorder already? i dont know anything thats going on with my body and im depressed and i feel so ashamed because there were so many people who had stories that felt so much more real than just a pronoun and a stomach ache and they spent their seven minutes with what seemed like no regrets about not having shared things and here i am writing a fucking dissertation pity paper about myself because i feel like it wasnt enough time to talk about my dumb fucking problems even though what i have aint shit and if i fall into the spiral of ands i legitimately will have a worse panic attack and i dont know who i can comfortably ask to do the fucking weightlifting championship level shit that is required to do the emotional heavy lifting and read bullshit im putting on the page without feeling like im inconveniencing them to the nth degree

so i guess thats where im at

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