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#haven’t Yami been through enough?

kleftiko · 10 months

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Could you do a Yami post like so you remember when Yami recruited Asta his first time but Asta was also messing up becuase if his grimwore well could you redo it but with a reader and he somewhat kinda starts liking her cause she’s trying real hard but she’s not meaning to mess up or anything

❦ HARDWORK

cw: none, this is fluff

this is cute :) not much romance, but this is what i came up with

the only time you could practice was on your break from work.

you were blessed with a rare magic attribute, but cursed with not having enough mana. it didn’t help that you were a commoner and no one expected great things from you, but all you wanted to do was protect people. after your first failed attempt at joining the magic knights when you were 15, you were devastated. its been years since then, but you haven’t tried again, you had no confidence in your magic, no matter how much you tried.

that’s why you were sweating, panting, and barely holding on as you amassed mana together in the sky. the powerful swirls solidified together, strengthening the attack, and it would have all gone perfectly if you didn’t slip up. you lost control, causing the dense magic to fall, bonking your head and sending you crashing to the ground.

the painful groan you let out shook your head, you didn’t even bother trying to get back up. that’s when you heard a bellowing laugh. the embarrassment turned to rage as you rolled onto your stomach and pushed yourself off the dirt. heat burned your face at the thought that someone saw you mess up that badly.

without looking to see who it was, you mustered up as much mana as you could and sent it flying at the person.

the laugh quickly stopped, a flash of black and silver easily slicing through your attack before you were met with the silhouette of a big man. he glared down at you with an unimpressed look.

“that wasn’t very nice.” he said, voice deep.

you huffed, “it’s not nice to laugh at people.”

“it was funny—” he mumbled.

“—it was not! what are you doing here anyway? don’t you have something better to do, stalker?”

if it were possible his look became more menacing, eyes narrowed even further as he puffed out a breath of his cigarette. he took a step closer, and you felt the overwhelming presence of his mana.

“you got a mouth on you, huh?” he said. “you got the power to back it up?”

with wavering determination, you were about to snap back another nasty remark when, in the soft breeze, you caught sight of the emblem sewed into his robe. unmistakably, it was the symbol of a magic knight’s squad.

the breath caught in your throat, the only sound emitting from you being a squeak.

he let out another laugh, darker this time, and if you weren’t already drained from training, you would’ve blamed him on the wobble in your knees.

“you’re funny.” he stepped closer, enough to reach out and gently flick your forehead.

it didn’t hurt, but you pouted anyway. “if you feel like it, join my squad.”

the magic knight tossed a black robe into your arms. dumbfounded, you just stared at it, trying to comprehend what just happened.

when words finally came back to you, you looked up only to find the man retreating.

“thank you.” you whispered.

#black clover fanfiction #black clover fluff #black clover x y/n #black clover x reader #black clover #yami x reader #sukehiro yami x reader #yami sukehiro x reader #yami fluff #yami sukehiro #sukehiro yami

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steve0discusses · 10 months

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Ep 45 Part 2: I, Again, Did Not Expect Ryou

The revolving door of characters wandering into this boss arena continues, and this time it’s Pharaoh who is trying to catch up to the plot with the dead woman on the ground, the giant tablet to the side, and Seto who is cackling to himself in a corner.

And Seto does a big ol laugh and it’s been a while since we got a villainous laugh out of Seto. Been a LONG TIME. Probably felt great for this voice actor to go back to his roots.

(read more under the cut)

Y’all.

It’s been a while I’ve been doing this blog, right? And I take it slow, especially right now with chronic fatigue stuff, but MAN I really thought we’d be dueling SETO. Not Aknadin in a Seto Bean! That’s a different guy!

Yugioh! That’s a completely different guy!

And there’s time for the big showdown between Pharaoh and Seto to actually happen. But trying to write it so we no longer develop this rivalry between Seto and Pharaoh feels like...they had to do that because Seto became a friend maybe kind of unintentionally.

It still works, they haven’t lied to us, I just...I have mixed feelings about it.

Mimicking Blue Eyes in Season 1 and Season Zero, this dragon will not work for you if you are not Seto Kaiba. Or Yugi. She’ll sometimes allow Yugi to play her in his deck. But definately not Seto Imposters. And like that, Aknadin is dead by his own hubris.

Hubris be killing a lot of billionaires lately, amiright? Yugioh just leaning into my love of killing billionaire gentry with hubris.

This romantic moment somewhat ruined by the animation team refusing to draw fingers and always keeping everyone’s hands clenched like they’re gonna furiously poop.

Yami watches as Seto recreates the vision that Kaiba had seen several years prior on the blimp. And Yami I’m sure felt entirely 3rd wheel. But he’s used that. He lives in Yugi’s bean. He probably thinks 3rd wheel is normal and how everyone feels all the time.

And then THIS HAPPENS.

Seto decides he’s had enough of watching behind a pillar, and now that everyone is dead and sobbing he should go out and harass Yugi. Youknow, at this funeral. The funeral of his beloved from like a previous life or whatever. Seto is kind over it and for once he is the one that needs a ride home.

And he’s like “hey so...I noticed that guy looks like me”

And then, when you think “well I guess Seto joins the party?” they just start screaming at eachother, within earshot of Seto, within earshot of the dead dragon card, within the earshot of like the entire world.

Remember that no one can actually see Seto but Pharaoh, which makes it even more funny.

Bakura segue’s us back to Yugi and his cursed friends, where he’s trying his best to explain the logic of cursing your classmates with dark magic so you can go on playdates.

The idea that you go through all the trouble to curse people into liking you, but the puzzle itself is made of dark magic, so it finds the most terrifying people to make your friend, is funny to me although it is completely my headcanon.

Anyway, get ready for the still my computer caught for this next one.

(it’s “surprise” but eh I don’t feel like fixing it at this point.)

It DOES look like Tristan is doing a weird cross punch, he’s actually tossing both of them and his hands over extended to the other side, which is a thing we do in animation, we go past the point you intend to go so it looks more fluid--but it does make the tweens funny.

The floor gives way and creates scales made out of the eyes.

Will Yugi leap from his scale and send his friends to purple doom, or will he find Pharaoh’s name and save the world?

which like, wouldn’t be a good episode of Yugioh unless multiple people were asking to die, and Joey nailed it in the most Brooklyn way this Japanese boy knows how.

And so Bakura was like “never mind.” which I guess was an option in the footnotes that only he could read.

Not shown is a hard to cap animation where Yugi leapt from his edge of the scales and just clung to Joey’s waist and Joey was like “gotta hang on to your friends, right Yuge?” And Yugi was like “Does that mean you forgive me already? Or are you being sarcastic right now?”

Inside of the room is this.

I LOVE the outline tool in photoshop. Good stuff. I LOVE it. and so does this animation team. Outlined the HELL out of those birds.

They leave the name zone room, with no idea at all how to say Pharaoh’s name. Where, they ran straight into Tristan and decided enough was enough, it’s time to have a chat. Because no, they haven’t figured it out.

You may be asking “so where did Tristan go?”

I DON’T KNOW.

He’s probably not fine. But um. No idea where Tristan went.

Also, guess who we haven’t seen in like 20 episodes since Seto stepped over his prone body on the steps?

Ryou! Little Ryou is back!

This guy who we...thought was a good guy? Anyway he’s off to literally kill Yugi, just like he’s want to do.

Straight up...I can’t fully predict Ryou, mostly because we rarely ever see the kid, but damn, he sure did wake up just ready to do a murder today, didn’t he?

And yes, this does mean that Ryou was pretending to be Bakura pretending to be Tristan, just so we the audience could get a fun triple reveal in this episode.

For some damn reason Ryou brought a duel disk to ancient Egypt. So we WILL get actual proper cards. And by proper cards, I mean Yugioh TV show cards, which line up not at all with the actual card game. Can’t wait to spell FINAL and then die.

Anyway, here’s the link to read these in chrono order.

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

We are quickly running out of people in this season to kill, but we still got a few of Pharoah’s ancient friends left, and as for who dies next episode? My bet is on...Isis. Sorry Isis, I know you got a cool hat and you’re the token girl but, she’s super dead next right?

#Yugioh #YGO #Yu-Gi-Oh #Yami Muto #Pharaoh #Seto Kaiba #Priest Seto #Bakura #Theif King Bakura #Ryou Bakura #Yugi muto #Tea Gardner #joey wheeler #tristan taylor

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thoughtfullyrainynightmare · 1 year

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May I request nozel, fuegoleon and licht with a chubby s/o? 🥺

Hello love~! ^^

Of course you may ^^ I hope you'll like these

Pairing: Nozel x gn!reader, Fuegoleon x gn!reader, Licht x gn!reader (reader is referred as "beautiful", but I think it can apply to any gender) Fanfic type: Headcanons Genre: Hurt-comfort (?), general Length: ~0.8k total Warnings: mention of "if you don't feel confident in your body/appearance" so no specific mention of weight but because of the theme it's implied/can be interpreted, but the men love you and find you beautiful as you are

Nozel

The noble world is enough focused on keeping up appearances, but it’s not something Nozel enjoys. Sure, he might be armed with harsh words to people he finds annoying, such as “foreigner” aimed at Yami, but the concept of beauty and attractiveness haven’t been on his mind that much. He’s not sure if he would have considered anyone he has seen before you as “beautiful”, despite having been able to say that they’d were ‘lovely’ by the traditional standards set by the noble circles.

He might also not be the best at verbalizing his thoughts, but he is an observant man, and took notice in who you were, which is why he fell in love with you in the first place. He fell in love with your smile, your eyes, the things that made you, you. And you are gorgeous to him.

He does also notice if you’re feeling insecure about your body, and he tries his best to offer comfort to you. He’ll hug you, hold your hand, or try to say something, even if words are not his forte. But especially if you’re in public, he can’t exactly hug you, because there are appearances to be upkept since he is royalty. Thus, it might be a quiet “are you alright?” or then tell you how much longer whatever event you’re attending will last, by which he means that it’s only that much until you can be alone together.

But he prefers holding you close to himself. Or if you’re not in the mood for cuddles, he’ll do you some other act of service in an effort to make you feel better.

And if he as much as hears someone implying an insult about your appearance, he will be using very harsh words, in the way that he can. The trademark Silva glare and a few carefully chosen words will be directed against anyone who dares to insult you.

You are beautiful to him, just as you are.

Fuegoleon

He is much more concerned about the people for who they are, rather than their heritage or how they look. Because ultimately people are who they make themselves to be. And he noticed you for the lovely person that you were. Being chubby wasn’t a problem to him in any shape or form. In fact, he thought that you were beautiful. End of discussion.

He’s also not afraid of holding you close, running his hand over your shoulders, your arms, or your waist as long as you’re comfortable. But in public he does usually keep it to a minimum, because he also wants to keep the private life private. It’s not about shame, it’s about not making your relationship about a topic of gossip. Because people are interested in the love lives or royals no matter with whom they are.

But when you are in public, he makes a note to stay close to you, and refer to you as his spouse whenever convenient. It’s his way of showing that he isn’t shamed about being with you.

And if you show signs of being insecure about your body for any reason, he’ll make a note about “how lovely you look”, perhaps mentioning something that he finds particularly beautiful, or simply tell you that he loves you.

Not to mention him being fiercely protective of your honour. So, if someone was blind to his gestures of showing that he is together with you, and very serious about it, he would be adamant on quite clearly stating that he loves you, and won’t tolerate any disrespect towards you.

Because he does love you, through and through.

Licht

Licht is a very open person, and has always been. He’s sought to understand the people around him as longs as he remembers, and you were no different. Beauty is a complex concept to him, and he would use it more in the context of who the person really is, rather than what they look like, how much time they spend on their appearance. The elves didn’t use make-up for example anyhow. Everyone is beautiful in their own way.

But you were different from the rest to him. There was just something about you just made your laugh more melodic, your smile brighter and your eyes more captivating than the rest. And he gladly told you about it.

Praised you and held you.

Any concerns about your appearance would be met with a kiss on your cheek and a gentle hold of your hand. “You are beautiful.” He would tell you.

If anyone was to imply about your looks, and he was told about it or was around to hear it, he would calmly but firmly talk to them about one sided views to beauty. Because you weren’t “beautiful despite”, you were “beautiful”. Quite so simple as that. He loves you as the gorgeous person that you are, inside and out

#nozel silva x reader #nozel x reader #fuegoleon x reader #fuegoleon vermillion x reader #black clover licht x reader #black clover fanfiction #black clover x reader

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yeonsclover · 2 months

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Hi! Can I request a depressed Noelle? Thank youuuu <3

Thank you for sending this(not proof read) I tried my best

Walking through the corridors of the black bulls hideout Asta walks through the passage way to the common room. “Have you guys seen Noelle? We’re patrolling the noble realm today”

“Now that you said something I haven’t seen at all in a while” finral says “last time I seen her she said she was going out and left.” Zora said “And when was that.” “Like last week.” “cmon we’ll go search the kingdom” Asta grabbed finrals hand “why do I have to go?” “How else are we supposed to get there?”

“I have a feeling I know where she could be. Let’s split up” Asta added before finral could protest.

Walking through crowds of people saying excuse me every 10 seconds asta finally arrive at the Silva estate. Luckily he knew by now to take the back way inside. The guards at the estate aren’t prone to let commoners set foot in house Silva. Let alone black bulls. He’d had been here before many times. Noelle always set a latter outside for him to climb up without anyone noticing.

As soon as he stepped foot in the estate he could hear screaming, and sobs calling for help ,and he swore he also heard laughter. “Here we go again.” Asta already knew what was going on. He thought that he had but a stop to it for good. Apparently the two oldest Silva didn’t know when enough was enough. He walks down the stairs of house Silva

Asta was fuming. How dare they? How could he have not noticed. How could he have let this happen again, how could the squad let this happen again. All of the sad looks, the declining of missions which was never like noelle, the refusing to eat. And wave of sadness washes over him. She’d been gone for a whole week! How did no one notice.

The sounds of Noelle’s cries, nebras laughter , and solid casting magic spells all became less that distant. That angry he once had came back at the sight in front of him.

He grabs solids wand, and snaps it in half stopping him from finishing he’s final spell. He lands a punch right dead center on solids nose sending him flying. He turns to the sight of noelle on the ground coved in water to being able to catch her breath. “I’m here it’s ok now he Scoops her up in his arms walking towards the exit

“You’re lucky I don’t but my hands on women.” He turns to nebra. He had almost forgotten she was there. “Well I for one don’t give a damn” Vanessa bust through the doors to the estate immediately pointing her wand at Nebras neck.

The rest of the black bulls behind her “we got it from here kid” yami puts his hand on Asta shoulder. Standing beside him is Noelle’s eldest brother Nozel Silva. “Take good care of her. I got the other two.” Asta can see the pain in his face he Nozel wants to have a relationship with noelle. Asta decided a long time ago that if he want it he’d come around eventually.

Walking through finrals portal Noelle still in arms he’s in Noelle’s room at the black bulls base. He gently sits her in her bed then heads for the door. “You’re just gonna leave me? Please don’t go im scared.” “Then I won’t.”

“ I’m sorry” Asta shakes his head “don’t apologize you did nothing wrong. We should’ve stepped up. We should’ve paid more attention to you, and your needs”

“You don’t look like yourself noelle.”

“I know.” She says before closing her eyes

“Asta my clothes are wet.”

“Do you want me to change them for you?” Asta says in the most cheeky innocent voice ever

“Get out! Of course not” she says pulling the covers over her face.

#black clover #blackclover #noelle silva #asta #noelle #blackclover headcanons #noelle black clover #nozel silva #black clover scenarios #nozel #yami #asta x noelle #nozel and noelle #black clover x reader #black clover nozel #vanessa black clover #finral roulacase #zora black clover #yeonsclover

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pastel-rights · 7 months

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"…"

"Is this working?"

The camera fizzles and sparks, the video feed struggling to process what was going on. In the midst of static, a voice can be heard— one that belonged to a familiar detective.

After a few buzzes and the static clears, the feed shows the familiar sight of Verity. Yes, they were in a different attire, but they were in a different train entirely… And one that was, unfortunately, snowed in.

"Oh! It's working. Thank God."

Verity clasps their gloved hands and sighed in relief, their gaze turning to the person recording. With a nod, they face the lens once more.

"If you're seeing this, Lee, I'm sure you must be confused on what's going on. I can't blame you if you are, after I've left with only a journal for you to find."

They chuckled, but they sounded sad. Bittersweet, even.

"… I'm sorry, Lee."

…

"I… Wanted us to leave. Together."

They paused, closing their eyes for a moment.

"… But as fate would have it, I have to abandon you for the sake of the truth. That man wouldn't let me on, and if it wasn't for that enigmatic worker on the train, you would've actually saw my dead body for the first and final time."

The feed seem to lose its focus, but it regains after a while, making them chuckle nervously.

"While I'm not one for… Celebrations, I remembered that today is your day of birth. Forgive me if this is a bad time for this, but if you're seeing this now, I must be right."

They grabbed what seemed to be a box, and opening it was a birthday cake. It was… A little toppled over, some of the frosting and decorations already moved to God knows where, but the look of pride from them was enough to show that it was their own effort to make it.

"… Happy birthday, Lee. I, Orfeo, and the others in the train made this for you. I reasoned with Andrew to have us make something… Edible, and after a bit of confrontation, he helped out."

They paused when they heard him speak, "That's because you'd force me if I tried to deny," and they scoffed and muttered, "And you know I will."

Coughing, they gave the camera a smile.

"I don't know where you are. You could be gone, dead, or— heaven forbid— you may as well have been consumed by something, and I would've done this for nothing."

Turning their head down to the cake, though, Verity sighed. Their shoulders slumped, and they adjusted the jacket on their person.

"… Wherever you are, if you ever get to see this… I hope you're safe."

…

"… I wish I can celebrate this day with you, and have you meet everyone. It would be like old times, my friend, but… Things have changed."

…

"I hope… Today will be the day life will be kind to you. I doubt it will for me, but I know you would kill me if you heard me say it."

… They sighed.

"… Please, stay safe. And thank Sam for me."

…

The video ends there, and the gift next to the camera was but a stitched doll of their friend.

Despite how worn it is, the two dolls are joined together— she can recognize the attire of the detective she met on the train, and herself back then. Back when things were... Not as cruel.

...

Where could the detective gone?

Only God knows the answer to that.

———

Happy Birthday, my dear friend, Yami.

May the years be as kind to you as you were to me, and may life give you the strength to when things get you down.

Things don't last forever, but I hope with this drabble, it'll make things feel like they would.

(P.S.: feel free to yell at me for the amount of hurt I put you through this one, I deserve it lol)

— Navina

“… it’s already that time of the year? bah. Cake? Haven’t had one of those since my last meal. Death-iversary and Birthday, it’s quite a combo. Cute video, Ver. It’s… not really the same cake you tired so hard to make, but, I wouldn’t have one otherwise… so, thanks for that, I suppose. That’s a lotta cake though, Ver, not sure what I’m supposed to do with it, though.“

———

GOD.

NAVI…

OH...

OH! I'M. NAVI??????

OH THAT VERITY FIC...

OH THE DOLLS...

AND THE CAKE...

AND NOT THE TRAIN CONDUCTOR ANDREW BULLYING BWAHAHAH

OH...

OH NAVI...

I'M.

i'm in shambles /pos

why must you people hurt me so on my birthday arc 😭/lh

#( birthday arc shenanigans )

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lyranova · 2 years

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Children of the Future:

Chapter 26: Unlikely Events and Heroes

Hi guys! Here’s chapter 26, this time there’s a bit more explaining on the time gates and we finally get to figure out who’s going to the past and how they’re getting there hehe. I hope you all enjoy~!

Taglist: @eme-eleff @thoughtfullyrainynightmare @crazyclownthanos @flow3rbudz @simpingforthisonedeer @bowandcurtsey @elysianluv @luminouslion @vwdxwnsk (if anyone else wants to be added let me know!)

Word Count: 3,065

Warnings: None

———

The next few days passed in a blur. After the training incident Alistar didn’t leave his room much and had completely quit training, with William and the others, when asked why he just said he didn’t feel like he needed to train anymore. Everyone knew that was a lie. In actuality he was scared he would lose control and hurt someone again.

But Hikari and William gave Alistar space and instead focused on helping the others.

All the kids were steadily improving, their magics were becoming stronger and they were all getting better at controlling them. But the adults weren’t sure if it would be enough.

“ As long as they have us and each other it will be.” Charlotte had said with a firm nod, the others agreed as well. As long as the kids were in a team with each other or were with the parents, then they would be okay.

On the last day of their training the adults were called out by Julius for a small meeting. They had been a bit confused since they were supposed to meet tomorrow, but they agreed.

“ Alright listen up!” Yami started as he had all the kids gathered in the common area. “ We’re all going to be gone for a while so you’d all better be on your best behavior while we’re gone, if not then every single one of you will be training all night!” Yami added, to which the kids nodded.

“ Good. Now Hikari’s in charge so anything she says goes!” Yami said, to which Josslyn and a few of the others grumbled.

Soon the adults left and headed to the Capital using Finral’s spatial magic. Hikari turned to the others with her arms crossed.

“ You heard him, I’m in charge and whatever I say goes!” She reiterated but with a mischievous look in her eye.

———

The adults walked into the meeting room to see Julius and Marx at the head of the table. Everyone saluted him before sitting down. Julius looked out at everyone with a smile.

“ I apologize for calling you out so late, especially since we’re supposed to be meeting tomorrow but I wanted to give you my congratulations on your hard work these past two weeks a bit early.” Julius told them happily, Yami looked at him suspiciously.

“ I don’t think that’s the only reason you called us out here.” Yami pointed out, to which Julius nodded.

“ You’re right as always Yami,” he said with a sheepish laugh before becoming serious. “ I actually had something I wanted to discuss with you all before the Witch Queen arrived tomorrow.”

“ I went down to the basement and inspected the Time Gate myself, andI found something unusual.” Julius started, Charlotte frowned.

“ That’s the Time Gate Hikari came through, correct?” Julius nodded in confirmation.

“ Yes, that's correct. There’s a panel off to the side of it with strange writing that I’ve never seen before. I looked through all the books the previous Wizard Kings had and I didn’t see any writings that looked similar, so all I can assume is it’s either from a different continent we haven’t explored before, or it’s something else entirely.”

“ Maybe another race of people created it? Such as the elves?” William asked, Julius shrugged.

“ Possibly. But it doesn’t look elvish or anything similar. The dwarves could have made it but I wouldn’t see for what purpose.” Julius said with a sigh.

“ Do you know how we can make that thing work?” Yami asked, Julius shook his head.

“ I tried to use my Time magic to activate it, but for some reason it wouldn’t work. In Miku’s memory Yuno was able to make the Time Gate in Spade work with what remained of his mana so I’m not sure why this one isn’t the same.” Julius muttered to himself.

“ Could they have been made differently or each made by different people?” Asta asked curiously, but Neva answered before Julius could.

“ That’s pretty unlikely. If the Time Gates are a pair, as they appear to be so far, then it’s more likely they were made at the same time and by the same person. Also most times when a pair is made they are made nearly identical, although there are a few rare occasions where they’ll be different.” Neva explained, Julius nodded.

“ Neva’s right for the most part, but since we don’t know if there is one currently in Spade we can’t be sure that they’re exactly the same or completely different.” Julius said with a soft sigh.

“ But changing the subject somewhat, how are the kids doing with their training? I heard it’s going well?” Julius asked more lightheartedly.

“ It’s going well, although there have been a few hiccups-.” William started but Nebra cut him off.

“ By ‘hiccup’ you mean when your son lost his mind and attacked everyone with his magic?” Nebra pointed out in a snarky manner, William sighed.

“ He’s already apologized to everyone, as have I, what else would you like us to do, Nebra?” William asked calmly.

Julius had seen what happened between Josslyn and Alistar, and as shocking as it was, he was also amazed! Who would have thought the kids would develop new abilities that their parents hadn’t? He had started to fanboy a little bit, but Marx calmed him down and dragged him somewhere safe.

“ It’s good to hear that the kids' training is going well,” Julius said, effectively cutting Nebra off as she opened her mouth. “ Do you think they’re ready for tomorrow?” He asked, he noticed the parents all give each other a look.

“ I think the older ones are, the younger ones would need to be in a team together or with their parents.” Charlotte said, the others nodded in agreement as Julius leaned back in his chair.

“ I have a feeling The Witch Queen won’t like that very much, but there isn’t much we or they can do. Especially since they’re all children who don’t even have their grimoires yet.” Julius said. “ It’s the adult's job to protect the young, so that’s what we’ll do.” Julius added, he hated how so much rested on these kids shoulders.

“ You may all head back to the house now, and get some rest because tomorrow our scouting mission begins.”

Everyone walked out of the meeting room, most were talking amongst themselves and few were quiet in thought. Charlotte belonged to the latter group. But she wasn’t thinking about what the Wizard King said, her mind was somewhere else entirely.

As she stared at Yami’s back Charlotte couldn’t help but think back on what she heard from his and Hikari’s conversation a few days prior.

“ Your mom, I’m not good enough for her yet. She deserves someone like her, a noble from clover, instead of someone like me.”

Those had been Yami’s words to Hikari as to why he and Charlotte weren’t dating yet. She remembered how her heart ached at them, Yami Sukehiro didn’t feel good enough for her? He was more than good enough! So what if he wasn’t a Noble and was a foreigner? That didn’t matter to her and she thought it didn’t matter to him as well, but apparently when it came to his feelings for her it did?

She wanted to talk to him about it, and tell him all these things. But she knew it wasn’t the time nor the place, maybe once this was all settled and the kids were sent back she could, but right now that had more important matters to attend to.

———

The adults used Finral’s spatial magic to get back to the house, Yami frowned when he noticed that they were outside instead of inside. He turned to look at Finral.

“ Hey Wheel’s what’s the deal? Why’re we outside?” He asked, Finral took a quick breath before answering.

“ Sorry Captain, but I have to use a lot more mana when transporting lots of people so I was only able to bring us outside.” Finral said tiredly, Vanessa patted him on the back and gave him a thumbs up.

“ You did your best, Finral. At least you got us all here in one piece so that’s all that matters.” She told him with a smile, which made the spatial mage blush.

“ Yeah, at least he didn’t drop us off in the middle of the woods or something.” Nebra muttered with a roll of her eyes.

Yami rolled his eyes before walking towards the door and opening it, and when he did the adults were met with a very surprising sight.

The kids were laughing and playing, the younger ones were using their magic to make things fly and were having small battles. While the older ones watched over them and sometimes participated themselves. Meanwhile Hikari was in the kitchen preparing a meal with Alistar, much to William’s pleasant surprise!

“ Oh you guys are back already?” Hikari said as she looked over her shoulder, the kids all stopped playing when they noticed their ‘parents’ were back.

“ Yeah it was just a small meeting,” Yami said slowly as he and the others walked into the house. “ What happened here?” Hikari turned around and gave her father a thumbs up and a bright smile.

“ You left me in charge of course!”

Earlier while the adults were away

“ You heard him, I’m in charge and whatever I say goes!” Hikari reiterated but with a mischievous look in her eye.

The others looked at her almost nervously but Josslyn smirked at her.

“ So we get to party? Or can I go out to the city?” Josslyn asked as she stood up, but Hikari chuckled.

“ Oh no, we’re not going to party and no one’s going anywhere so I suggest you sit your ass down!” Hikari said loudly, suddenly looking identical to Captain Yami. All the kids gathered around quickly and sat as still and quiet as though Captain Yami were there himself.

“ Now, we’re going to talk and work these issues out!” Hikari said firmly and everyone knew what issue she was talking about: Alistar.

“ You two,” she pointed to Josslyn and Aloys. “ Alistar apologized to both of you. I’m not quite sure why he apologized to you Aloys but he still did!” She then pointed to Kaiyo, Ezio, Maelie, and Mizuki.

“ You three are in the middle with all of this so I don’t really need to say anything to you.” Hikari said with a shrug before pointing to Ace, Brielle, and Miku.

“ I appreciate you guys standing up for Alistar and I’m sure he does as well, but he still did something wrong and everyone does have a right to be mad at him. But they don’t have the right to continuously hold it over his head even after he apologized for it.” Hikari said pointedly at Josslyn and Aloys.

The kids all looked at each other, most of whom had never been scolded by Hikari before. But after this they definitely would never let it happen again. Hikari crossed her arms and looked at them all.

“ Now, since we have a big day tomorrow can we just put what happened behind us and enjoy tonight?” She asked the group, they all looked at each other again and nodded. “ Good. Now I’m going to bring Alistar and you guys are going to forgive him, even if you don’t mean it you’re going to say it, and we’re all going to get along again!” Hikari added before going down the hall and to Alistar’s room.

Present

Yami blinked as Charlotte chuckled next to him, Hikari was as stubborn as Yami was.

“ So now we can all sit down and have a ‘family meal’ together! I’m not as good a cook as Charmy but I think I’m okay!” Hikari said cheerfully as she and Alistar finished cooking and were beginning to set the table.

“ I’m sure the meal will be lovely, I’ll help you two set the table.” Charlotte said as she and the others walked up to the table.

As the meal started and went on the atmosphere in the room became warmer and livelier. It reminded Yami of the many Black Bulls dinners they had at the Hideout. He watched as the ‘parents’ talked with their children and amongst each other as they ate. It almost seemed like everyone was just one big happy family. Yami suddenly became sad as he realized the kids could all be leaving soon, and when they did life would go back to normal somewhat. He had to admit he would be pretty sad to see them all go, especially Hikari.

“ You’re awfully quiet.” Charlotte said softly as she took a sip of her water, Yami turned to look at her and shrugged.

“ Sorry. Just got to thinking.” He muttered as he took a sip of his wine.

“ About what?” The blonde asked curiously, Yami sighed softly.

“ About how it’s going to feel pretty empty with all these knuckleheads gone.” He chuckled, Charlotte laughed softly with him as she nodded.

“ You’re right, it will feel a bit empty. But they aren’t leaving just yet, tomorrow’s just a scouting mission to see what’s going on, and if we can fix it. If we are able to fix it tomorrow then that’s a good thing isn’t it?” Charlotte asked, Yami grumbled. He knew she was right and it was a good thing. But that still didn’t mean he liked it.

“ Now,” Charlotte started as she looked at the clock. “ It’s getting late and we all need our rest for tomorrow, so I think we should turn in for the evening.” She added, the kids all looked down sadly and with a bit of a pout. But eventually everyone agreed and they all began to turn in.

———

The Next Morning

The ‘parent’s’, children, Julius, and the Witch Queen all sat in the meeting room quietly. Everyone was so anxious you could almost cut the tension with a knife. The Witch Queen and Julius just stared at each other, it was as though they were speaking telepathically or something.

“ I see you’ve all trained and got stronger,” The Witch Queen started slowly. “ That’s a good start. But it still isn’t enough to defeat your enemy.”

“ Seriously? But we worked so hard.” Brielle muttered sadly as Asta gently patted her on the head.

“ Your enemy has worked just as hard as you have, and they’ve been working harder longer. So their strength will be much greater than yours.” The Witch Queen told her.

“ So have you decided who’ll be going to the future?” Julius asked her curiously, she nodded.

“ I have. There’s only five of you who are strong enough to take on the enemy.” She said before looking at Yami. “ Captain of the Black Bulls, Captain of the Blue Rose Knights, Captain of the Golden Dawn, and your children will be going to the future.”

Everyone sat there stunned, just those five? They were the only ones strong enough?

“ Hey, no fair! What about Yuno and I? We’re nearly as strong as the Captain’s so why don’t we get to go?!” Asta shouted, the Witch Queen smirked a bit.

“ Because I said so.” She told him as she leaned back in her chair. Asta opened his mouth to argue but the Witch Queen cut him off.

“ Were you able to figure out how to work the Time Gate?” She asked Julius curiously, he shook his head and leaned forward resting his arms on the table.

“ No we weren’t, but I think you already knew that.” He told her with a tilt of his head, the Witch Queens smirk only widened.

“ I did. Only certain Magic users can activate them.” The Witch Queen stated matter of factly.

“ If that’s the case then why was I able to open the Time Gate in the future?” Yuno asked curiously, the Witch Queen turned to look at him.

“ Equivalent Exchange. It’s a law Alchemists used to use hundreds of years ago, but it’s still very much active today. For example, in order to save a person's life something of equal value must be exchanged.” The Witch Queen turned back to the table. “ A life for a life.”

“ So an ‘alchemist’ made the Time Gates?” Charlotte asked curiously.

“ That I couldn’t say, all I know is those gates were here long before we were.” The Witch Queen answered simply before standing. She suddenly walked over to Ezio who stood as still as could be.

“ Luckily for us we have a Magic User who can open them,” she stated before sighing. “ it’s a pity that this power was given to a man, but I guess I must be grateful that this gift was given to my grandchild instead of someone else.” She muttered before placing a hand on Ezio’s chest.

“ What are you doing?” Vanessa asked as she and Finral went to move in front of their ‘son’, but the Witch Queen held up a hand.

“ I’m unlocking your child's true magic. It was something he was supposed to inherit when he was older, but it can’t be helped.” She explained as, suddenly, bunches of pink thread began to pop up around Ezio. But these weren’t Vanessa’s threads.

“ Ezio’s ‘true’ magic?” Finral asked softly as he watched the thread swirl around Ezio, these threads looked very different then Vanessa’s, they almost looked like Finral’s spatial magic but pink and, well, threads.

“ Yes. Spatial Thread Magic.”

Everyone watched with shock and awe, Ezio, was a Spatial Thread mage? What even was that? It was the first time anyone had heard of that. Julius sat at the head of the table with wide and bright eyes, he was resisting every urge to go over there and see what kind of magic this was.

“ I-I’m sorry,” Ezio stammered as the Witch Queen moved to sit back down. “ When you say ‘S-Spatial Thread’ what um, w-what does that mean?” He asked nervously, she sighed in response.

“ It means you can connect the threads of time and space together. You can connect the past with the future, the present with the past, etc;. You can also send your enemies to different time periods if you wish, maybe you can send them to alternate realities if you work hard enough.” She said with a laugh.

“ S-So, what you’re saying is-?” Ezio started as his face paled significantly.

“ You’re the key to getting everyone home.”

———

Thank you all so much for reading I hope you all have a good day 🥰~!

#black clover fanfiction #children of the future #oc; ezio #oc; hikari #hikari is not my oc #charlotte roselei #yami sukehiro #the witch queen #julius novachrono #black clover oc fanfiction

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loosesodamarble · 2 years

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Nacsele Part 11: Horse and Deer

Horse and Deer (music video)

First off, I would like to address the title of the song. The kanji for “horse” and “deer” are used in the word “fool” or “idiot” which could imply that the song has to do with something foolish. However, on their own, horses and deers have more positive meanings. Horses are considered noble in Japanese culture while deers represent happiness and harmony in Buddhism. With the animal’s kanji separated, the title actually indicates that the topic of the song is noble and harmonious in nature. Another thing about the song’s title is how it works in relation to Nacht and Josele. Nacht is obviously the horse with Slotos and his Equus form. Meanwhile, I associate Josele with deers as they are creatures associated with grace but can also be quite powerful (the moose is the largest type of deer and they are frighteningly strong) which suits Josele being a tough swordswoman with a gentle heart. And that’s just the title.

With that said, I’m happy to say that with “Horse and Deer,” we finally have a song at a point in Nacht and Josele’s story when their relationship is really mending. This song would take place after Josele is freed from her devil and curse. Josele is finally able to express her love for Nacht and he’s facing his own love for her. However, there are lingering doubts that hold Nacht back from pursuing a romantic relationship.

In a warped and wound-covered spring, I walked, without so much as anesthesia Echoing in the depths of my body, A strong sense I'm not living enough...

Spring is considered the season of life and rebirth and for Nacht, his own world has been reborn with Josele back to normal. But the spring isn’t pure and innocent, instead marked by emotional scars of the past. Despite the pain though, Nacht lets his self-loathing and guilt fester, refusing to allow himself to heal. He’s stuck in the past and thus unable to fully live in the present.

I still taste it, the flavor of chewed-away gum, With a heart that still hasn't fully cooled After losing it all one thing at a time, What finally remains in the end...

Represented by the gum’s lingering flavor but also stated outright, Nacht’s feelings from the past haven’t truly gone away. They have, in a sense, been lying dormant and are ready to be reignited. There is a lot of loss in Nacht’s life: Morgen’s death, the rift in his friendship with Yami, Josele’s curse, and years of self-loathing as he tried to make up for hurting them. Nacht lives with many regrets in life but his heart still cares for those in his life, Josele most of all.

If this thing isn't love, then what would you call it? I didn't have any idea... Call out the name of a flower, just a single one, To the point of bursting open...

I think Nacht would question his love for Josele. He would ask himself if what he feels for Josele is instead a sense of obligation to her to make up for causing Morgen’s death or if his devotion has become a desperate obsession. In the end, he will figure out that, yes, his feelings are genuine love. The way I see it, the “flower” could be a number of things. It could be Nacht telling himself to openly proclaim his feelings of love. Or it’s him calling out to Josele. I even see it as Nacht asking Josele to call out to him. Either way, someone is calling out with repetition because of how strong the feelings in their heart are.

What do you say with those weary eyes? I walked, hiding my scars And yet I scattered my shadow around, Hoping to be noticed...

The first line is Nacht addressing Josele, trying to get a read on what she’s thinking. I think the reason why the eyes are described as tired is because of being world-weary or from previously crying, either working for Josele who has been through so much. The next few lines express Nacht’s loneliness, his self-inflicted isolation from Josele and anyone else. He takes on guilt and keeps his pain to himself because he sees himself as undeserving of love. But still, he tries to be present in Josele’s life, wanting to express his love. Also, scattering the shadow just works with Nacht and his magic.

Can you still walk? I chew down and taste sand, On grass damp with evening dew Questioning words within an impatient chest Surely it's still too soon for this to end…

After so much struggle, Nacht asks if he and Josele can still continue towards the future. The taste of sand is frustration when they’ve stumbled along the way. But the mention of dew implies that the pain can be washed away, not entirely but at least in part. Nacht has his doubts about whether he deserves Josele but then he thinks to himself that maybe it’s time to not give in to hopeless thoughts and actually try.

Smiling so that no one would be made sad - I was never able to do that well… If I were just able to protect one thing, one single thing, That would have been enough…

My all too worthless wish, it won't vanish My soul is one no one can steal…

I interpret the smile as showing kindness, which Nacht has never been good at. But he still has a heart and he wants only safety and happiness for Josele after so many years of suffering. If he could make up for the way he hurt her, that’d be enough. His desire might mean nothing coming from a tainted man like himself, but he wants to do things right by the woman he loves. No one is going to stop him, not even himself now.

To what should I compare you and me? How to describe the similar wounds on our heels? After the gap in the rain closes, it continues on; Let's go, before the flowers even bloom…

Though still fearful, call out the name of a flower; Say "it can only be you"…

Nacht is trying to find some way to describe his relationship with Josele, how they’ve both been emotionally scarred by the same event. The only word that would come to mind is “tragedy.” The mention of rain and flowers about to bloom brings back the image of spring from the beginning, so I read the lines as Nacht reaching out to Josele so they can head into spring, the reborn world, together. Though Nacht is afraid to love Josele, he calls out to her or asks her to call out to him. And for him, he can only love Josele.

The tips of our noses touch, my breath stops And I'm fine with the pain never going away

My all too worthless wish, it won't vanish… I won't stop...

As I said with the previous song, touching noses is just a step behind touching foreheads which Josele does to show affection. I imagine this line in the song as Josele going in to touch foreheads with Nacht. He’s simultaneously caught off guard by the gesture and enamored by it that he forgets to breathe. And that second line is Nacht believing he will never truly be forgiven. But where earlier in the song, he accepted eternal pain because of self loathing, at the song’s end, Nacht would be fine with the pain because Josele is there to comfort him. The final lines show Nacht’s determination to move on. He still has a way to go but he’s not holding himself, his love, back any longer.

There is so much in this song that I love. The feeling of determination despite enduring pain. Having doubts in oneself but still wanting to do right by others. The image of facing what is to come alongside someone you love. Being unsure of that love but wanting to believe in it. It hits me right in the feels. It’s beauty born from tragedy which suits Nacht’s love for Josele.

..........

Intro | Previous | Next

#nacht faust #josele canty #nacsele #black clover oc #the music of faustsele #soda asides #soda's ocs #quick funny: imagine that the background dancers as the Black Bulls

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cloudstation · 2 years

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thoughts on ygo gx

Ok so for reference in this post when I'm talking about YGO GX I'm talking about the subbed version because that's the only one I've seen and I know the dub varies pretty greatly.

There's also going to be some comparing and contrasting to the original series because I’ve only seen the original and GX so that’s the only thing I have to compare it to. If I had any significant knowledge of the series that come after (like 5ds, zexal, etc.) I would pull from that as well, but I haven’t gotten around to those yet. Forgive me if I’ve got the details wrong, I haven’t watched GX in a minute.

So, GX as a series starts as a villain of the week scenario, basically every episode Judai must duel someone who we will probably never see again. Which in hindsight, is sort of a confusing choice from a writing standpoint because the anime (that GX is a direct spin off of) didn’t really follow that format, it was almost always about a certain story arc. The YGO manga started out as villain of the week as well, but the anime cut those parts out almost entirely and there's several things in GX that make it clear that it is based on the anime only.

That said, I do not mind that format at all! I loved the early YGO manga and I enjoyed most of early GX as well. The only thing I will say is that I did get bored with some episodes after a little while of watching when 1.) the stakes are usually pretty low and 2.) you know we are never going to see this antagonist ever again. I think that would’ve been a great time to build up Judai’s rivalry with Manjoume more and I think giving Judai one consistent rival to focus on could have done a little to keep the momentum of the show going.

Speaking of rivals, Judai doesn’t really have one clear rival the way Yugi does. Manjoume is supposed to be his rival, but as the show goes on he starts taking a backseat to other characters like Edo and Kaiser. At one point even Misawa. It doesn’t help that Manjoume also becomes the butt of a few jokes about not being a very good duelist and his main goal in the end is more about being a successful pro duelist rather than being better than Judai. Do not get me wrong, Kaiba’s record against Yugi was not exactly inspiring, but it was his insane dedication and off the wall strategies that makes it so you think he actually has a chance of winning. And I don’t think Manjoume should have been more like Kaiba, I just wished he wasn’t shoved in the “comic relief” box because it would have been more interesting in my opinion to have him and Judai be neck and neck. I think you still could have even done the thing where Manjoume is begrudgingly friends with Judai by the end and it would have all worked out fine.

The characters though are the best thing about GX. I think they are very lovable, at least the versions of them in my head. Just wish they had more to do in the first 2 seasons or in Johan’s case, introduced earlier. Judai himself is SUCH a great character when the show finally gives him a chance to show it. There are so many parallels to him and Jounouchi (one of my favorite characters period) that it absolutely KILLS me the earlier episodes weren’t more engaging.

Which brings me to my biggest problem with GX: the actual plot of GX doesn’t really start kicking in until season 3 which is [checks notes] 105 EPISODES IN. Maybe I’m remembering it wrong, but it really did not feel like that much had happened until season 3. I think a large part of that is that Judai didn’t experience a whole lot of character growth during the first 2 seasons. The whole Supreme King plot is a direct result of Kazuki Takahashi thinking that Judai had not grown enough “to beat someone like Yami Marik.” Its like the writers were scrambling for things for Judai to go through that would actually test who he is as a person and they threw everything at the fan all at once. And it worked tbh I was glued to season 3, there were so many interesting things happening AND they gave Judai a friend (Johan) who was a really good match for him and they clicked together really well. Which makes it all the more interesting when they take Johan away and put him in this terrible situation and make Judai deal with it.

My only real problem with season 3 is the way the situation with Yubel is handled. I’ve seen a lot of people say that its romantic that Yubel and Judai fuse at the end and I just could not disagree more. Yes they were in love in a past life I get it. But 2 things: 1.) Yubel says that the love Judai felt for them in their past life now belongs to Johan 2.) After all the torment and grief Yubel put Judai and his friends through, for them to fuse at the end being seen as anything, but self sacrifice on Judai’s part is kind of a slap in the face. I really don’t care about why Yubel did those things, it doesn’t excuse it in my opinion.

That said I will always have a fondness for GX because I love the characters, I just wished they were used more efficiently. Wish we got to seem go through even MORE situations. I want to see how they react when they are pushed to their limit and how they get through it. I think that’s when Judai especially shines. I think the POTENTIAL that GX has is the most frustrating part and I wish they had acted on it more. For now though I will simply be imagining my own version of GX and probably making some art.

#gx #ygo #season 3: now add a little spice

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1kook · 3 years

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HIII MISS YAMI PLEASEEEE do barista!yoongi and his fave customer plsss vv soft and fluffy <333

He hates you. He really does.

You always order the same, complex, monstrosity of a drink. Something about adding in fruit to cancel out the sugar, only to add the sugar back in the form of a syrupy liquid. Yoongi doesn’t get it. Yoongi doesn’t get paid enough to get it.

The worst part is you’re too sweet for him to actually tell off. “Good morning, Yoongi,” you chirp, aura brighter than the beaming summer sunshine outside. “How’s your day going?”

“It’s okay,” he replies, already reaching for the reusable cup you present him with every day just before noon. It’s teal, the same color as your coin purse. Yoongi can appreciate a subtle aesthetic when he sees one. “And yours?”

It’s the same answer he’s given you every morning for the past two months, ever since he got switched over from the evening shift to this ungodly hour. Yoongi’s been in customer service long enough to know that even the smallest change in tone can lead to an abundance of complaints to the manager, so he tries his best to answer you. Luckily, you don’t push too much.

“That’s good,” you hum, already shuffling through the contents of your purse for your card. It’s Tuesday, which means you’ve collected enough points for a two-dollar discount on your drink today, same as you do every Tuesday after a long week of point collecting.

Except, when Yoongi scans your loyalty card, your points fall short. One purchase off from getting the two-dollar discount that makes you go, “yay!” every Tuesday morning. And for some reason, that doesn’t sit right with Yoongi.

For the past two months, you have been somewhat of a constant in his life. From his shift change to his apartment move, everything around him had been sort of messy. Except for you and your stupidly complicated drink.

For a second, Yoongi isn’t sure what to do. He’s not exactly sure where your two missing dollars are, just that they’re missing. You haven’t noticed his extended pause, busy chatting away about something at work like you always do. Gentle smile, warm eyes, hands that brush along his when he gives your card back. Before Yoongi can think twice, he’s swiping his own employee loyalty card and placing the half price discount on your drink.

You don’t notice, and Yoongi doesn’t really give you a chance to. He yanks the receipt off the machine and rushes off to make your complicated drink. It’s like muscle memory at this point, his hands doing the work as he remembers to respond with “mmhm,” to your animated storytelling.

When he returns, you’re wrapping up. “Oh, did you scan my—“

“Yes,” Yoongi interrupts, quickly pushing the drink off into your hands. “Two dollars off. Yay.”

You level him with an amused, if slightly confused, grin. But still, “yay,” you beam, taking a sip of your drink. And all seems right again.

#Yoongi fic #min yoongi fic #suga fic #yoongi x reader #min yoongi x reader #suga x reader #yoongi #suga #bts x reader #bts fic #mygd #720 drabbles #mine

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bugsyfics · 3 years

Text

Could’ve Just Asked

Yami Sukehiro x Reader

Fandom: BC

Summary: After touching one of Captain Yami’s most prized possessions, Y/N finds herself on thin ice.

Warnings: Smut/notsfw, spanking, masturbation, very slight praise and domination

Word Count: 1.3k

————•————•————•————•————•————•————•————

Captain Yami was out with the other members of the Black Bulls upon request of the Wizard King. Today you weren’t needed, because you visited him a couple days prior about the new mission. While you could’ve gone anyway, this was a good time to catch up on some well needed cleaning. You dusted, moved someone’s random pair of shorts, and threw away an oddly immense amount of trash. You got to the split corridor and took a little detour down the men’s living quarters. You’ve only been down there a couple times, but curiosity was getting the best of you.

There was no denying that you enjoyed looking at your captain and often wondered how he would feel on top of you, but because of the dynamic you two shared it made it almost impossible to express how you felt. Since you’d joined the Black Bulls, it’s always felt deeply inappropriate how hot this man made you with only a couple words or a pat on the back. It was even worse when you two would train alone, away from the others. Maybe your little flirts weren’t enough for him to catch on or possibly he was simply ignoring your advances.

As you passed Yami’s bedroom it took everything in you not to look at his door. You walked a little further, but quickly turned on your heel to walk back towards his room.

“Hm, I don’t know if I… no…” You contemplated intruding while your hand remained on the doorknob.

“Fine.” You opened the door.

It was… normal? A small pile of clothes and an unmade bed but nothing out of the ordinary. You did notice though, a shimmer from across the room. After quickly shutting the door, you made your way to the glimmering object to find a brand new katana placed against his nightstand. You knew it was a bad idea, but you really wanted to see the beauty of this finely crafted sword. You pulled it out slightly admiring the polished finish — possibly too long to not notice Yami entering his room.

“Get out or I’ll kill you!”

“Ahh! I’m so sorry! I’ll leave, j-just let me explain!” You sputtered hoping he wouldn’t kick your ass.

“I was cleaning a-and I wandered down the hallway a-and I saw your room. Then I-I saw—”

“Shut the hell up!”

“I’m sorry capitan,” you apologized.

Why did you have to keep doing stupid shit like this? No only did you invade his privacy but you also touched his brand new katana— Yami’s katana. Shit, you put your position in the squad in jeopardy and ruined the chances of him ever being interested in you. What would the other squad members thi—

“Hello? I asked you to hand it over,” Yami pointed to the sword with his eyebrow raised.

“You’re being creepy…” he continued and eyed you.

Yami grabbed your arm and released the katana from your grip. He laid the sword flat on his palms and pulled it out completely, inspecting it.

“Well, I guess you didn’t mess it up too bad. You know, acting like a dumbass and all,” Yami spoke and shook his head.

You opened your mouth to protest but remained quiet instead.

“You came in here just to look at a sword? Gonna steal it or somethin’?”

“No, I was just snooping. It was rude of me,” you muttered.

“Stop apologizing. Don’t care, just don’t do it again,” Yami grumbled.

He closed the katana back down into its scabbard and sighed.

“Ok, get out,” he spoke suddenly and walked you to the door.

After you walked out, Yami leaned against the doorframe.

“You know Y/N, you don’t have to sneak around. If you wanted to visit and talk you could’ve just asked,” Yami laughed and closed the door.

Did he say visit? What did that even mean? Well, you were just glad you made it out alive. Your palms were sweaty and after that encounter you needed a cold shower.

The next day...

After breakfast, all the squad members sat in the main room chatting. You assumed no one knew about what happened the day before, but you sat by yourself just in case. Well, not entirely by yourself since Zora was across from you snoozing, as always.

“Be quiet and sit down,” Yami clapped his hands together, “I’m sending a couple of you on a mission.”

“Julius needs to speak to Asta, Finral, and Charmy again. So, go do that or whatever,” Yami announced nonchalantly and sat back down to read the paper.

Everyone else traveled to the Noble Realm to shop or went outside to train. You quietly sat and drank your coffee hoping no one would notice that you were missing.

You heard a gruff voice from above you, “Y/N, come here.”

Yami?! What does he want? He stood over you and motioned you to follow.

“Yes, captain.”

You both ended up outside his room.

“What are we—”

“We have free-time. I thought you wanted to talk,” Yami shrugged.

“Sur— I mean, yeah we can,” you smiled awkwardly.

Yami sat down on his bed and stared at you, blowing out a puff of smoke from his cigarette. You stood against his desk, in the corner of the room, assuming it wouldn’t be appropriate to sit on his bed with him. The uncomfortable silence made you flustered and you slightly pinched your leg to right yourself.

“Are we gonna stare at each other all day?” Yami surmised.

“I don’t really have anything to talk about necessarily,” you spoke.

“Mhm, ok well we can leave—”

“Wait! I-I mean um… hold on. Tell me about your katana, please captain,” you blurted.

“You wanna hear about my katana? Nothing else you want to talk about?” Yami asked.

“Yeah… Well, no. I’m just interested in learning about it. It looks like it’s made with good craftsmanship.”

Yami stood suddenly, pulling his katana from the holster on his waist and motioned you over. He sat back down on his bed and waited for you to join. You awkwardly sat beside him and you couldn’t help your cheeks from turning bright red from the closeness.

“Put your hands out,” Yami instructed, “The blade is sharp so don’t do anything stupid.”

The sword laid balanced across both of your palms.

“The handle is called tsuka,” Yami began and stroked the top, “...and the blade is called sori.”

He took two fingers and slowly ran them across the surface of the blade.

“The only authentic ones are from back home, but since I haven’t gone back, I get them imported.”

“Wow, it’s a really beautiful sword,” you admired softly.

“Mhm, it’s quite… personal to me,” Yami cleared his throat and grabbed the katana from your hands.

He glanced over at your face with an unreadable expression and shifted away.

“I think that’s enough talking for today. I’m gonna take a nap,” Yami rushed and stood from the bed.

“Can I come back tomorrow?” You asked quietly and walked to the door.

Yami pulled his cigarette from his lips and crushed the butt into the cigarette tray on top of his nightstand.

“Eh, I don’t know… I think today was enough,” he responded curtly.

“Did I do something wrong?” you began to pry.

Yami stood silent staring at you for a moment. He finally made his way over, and towered over your small frame.

“I hate it when you act innocent,” Yami growled lowly and tilted your chin upwards slowly, “You know exactly what you’re doing, princess.”

“Captain… What are you talking about?” you questioned, puzzled by his sudden change in mood.

“I haven’t caught on for a while, but I’m not stupid. You like when I tower over you like this… or when I command you to do what I want,” Yami taunted and rested his hands above your head.

“You snooped in my room because you couldn’t get enough of me, huh?” Yami chuckled and stared deeper into your nervous gaze.

“C-captain I-I,” you stuttered and clenched your thighs together to suppress the tingling from your core.

“There’s no need to confess, Y/N. I already know how you feel,” Yami said. “I guess I was a little oblivious. I thought you had a childish crush, but it seems like there’s something more.”

Yami scratched the back of his head and his eyes traveled down your body to your clenched thighs. With one hand still above you, the other traced down your side and gripped your thigh gently. He began to rub small circles on your skin with his thumb.

You bit your lip and glanced up at Yami’s dark gaze from under your lashes.

“D’ya like that princess?” he teased as his hand traveled further underneath your skirt.

“Yes captain,” you sighed.

You were soaking through your panties and you were nervous about what Yami would think. His low voice and his digits pressed on you made your skin burn.

Yami’s eyes grew a little when he reached your panties. He took his middle finger and ran it over your heat feeling how your wetness pooled under you.

“You want me to touch you some more?” Yami spoke into your neck.

You nodded eagerly, opening your legs wider for his massive hand.

“Mm…”

Yami rubbed faster over your clothed pussy. He pulled his hand away and leaned down to your ear.

“Get on the bed. Head down and ass up, now.” Yami ordered you.

He could tell you liked being dominated, but you also like being praised and he stepped into that role nicely.

You scurried over to his bed and did what you were told. A little part of you wanted to push him further.

You reached under your skirt and played with yourself, bucking into your hand. You pushed your ass out and turned your head to watch him.

Yami cooly walked to his nightstand, grabbed a cigarette and lit it while he watched you. That was definitely not the reaction you expected.

Smoke billowed out from his lips as he spoke, “That’s a nice show you’re putting on. Maybe you can get yourself off instead.”

“Wha- no, I was just—”

“Touch yourself,” Yami demanded.

He watched as you hesitated and moved your hand away. Yami roughly pulled your hand back under you, placing it on your core.

“Do it.”

You had no choice other than to play with yourself in front of him, but it was technically your fault. You gently rubbed over the fabric and grazed across your aching pussy. The constant friction of the panties across your clit made it difficult to stay steady on your knees. You moaned incoherently into the bedspread and began slowing your movements.

Yami grabbed a handful of your ass and smacked it harshly, “Faster. Keep going like a good girl.”

“Yam-Yami please. I c-can’t…” you panted.

“Do I have to tell you again, princess?” Yami threatened while pinching your ass.

“No, sir… but I just need you,” you pleaded and grinded into the air.

With a grunt, Yami pulled you to the edge of the bed with your ass propped. He tore your panties off of you and spread your pussy open to rub harsh circles on your swollen bud, making your toes curl.

“Mm fuck. That feels so, so good, captain!”

“Something tells me this is your favorite place to be touched,” Yami chuckled, quickening his movements.

You bucked harder, fucking yourself down onto Yami’s hand.

“Shit, it looks like your gonna come, princess.”

He pulled you back into his chest and continued his movements while you came undone. You felt yourself on the brink of tears as you slumped down into Yami’s arms. You heard him breathing hard behind you as his erection poked into your lower back.

“Damn princess, that was only the first round! Hah! I knew you weren’t that innocent,” Yami teased and wrapped his arms around your waist.

————•————•————•————•————•————•————•————

A/N: I hoped you like this Yami smut! Thanks for reading 💕

— bugs

#not sfw #black clover imagine #black clover yami #black clover smut #yami sukehiro x reader #black clover scenarios #black clover x reader #yami sukehiro #requests open #black clover fanfiction #yami sukehiro imagine

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lil-pine-mha-drabbles · 3 years

Note

Could you do a Tokoyami x chubby/depressed reader? 🥺👉👈 Or any of the characters honestly.

Of course my wonderful sapling!!

You ask, and you shall eventually receive.

This one was a little shorter but I hope you like it anyhow.

Here are some people that inspire me! @random-mha-thoughts and @alpha-bnha-boys

Tokoyami x Chubby/depressed reader

There are 775 words to read below the line!

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He knew you were hurting; that the light in your eyes had slowly dwindled out. He saw it when he looked at your gorgeous face in class every day. He didn’t know where you disappeared to every so often but he needed to find out.

He would help you.

He walked into class and you were just sitting there, smiling occasionally, he wasn’t sure if they were fake or not, he knew that people could smile and be happy sometimes while still dealing with depression.

You looked up at Tokoyami when he walked in and smiled brightly at him and he looked at you deeply. You shifted nervously under his gaze.

“Hello, Yami!” You said to him as he passed by. He smiled slightly and slipped a note onto your desk then sat in his seat.

You finished your conversation with your friends and looked at the secret note quickly. “Meet me behind the lunch hall after class.” This wasn’t uncommon occurrence between the two of you, he passed the same note to you when he told you he liked you, when he asked you to start dating, and all the times he would pull you back there to give you little gifts.

You smiled fondly at the memory of the first time he gave you a dried rose, you kept it in a small box with a red ribbon tied to it to signify the first rose. You had been given many of them over a few months and he had no idea you kept them. He thought you’d thrown them away after a couple days, it you saved them.

You smiled and placed it in your bag.

He stared at you intently, usually he would look at your soft back or your delicious thighs but at this time he was staring at the back of your head, wondering what he could do to help bring the light back to your gorgeous eyes. He loved it when they crinkled when you smiled and how you chin doubled when you laughed gleefully.

He loved you; he came to the realization. He had never loved anyone before...

You walked out of class and took the familiar steps to go behind the lunch building and smiled when you saw his black feathers come into view.

“Hi, sweet thing!!” You called to him and gave him a hug.

“Hello. May we speak about something serious today?” Oh no... you thought about all the things you might have done wrong or anything he might not like. Was he going to drop you like a hot potato?? Was it your body? Your hair? The way you dressed? You started to hyperventilate until he gently placed his hand on your shoulder.

“My love, it’s nothing to worry about. I’m merely concerned for your own mental health. Are you doing alright?” You starred up at him as tears filled your eyes and you fell into his arms and he carried you to your room to cry in privacy.

When he gently laid you on the bed you were only sniffing quietly. “I haven’t been great and no one had asked at all if I was ok.” You started sobbing all over again and he gently cared his fingers through your hair.

You told him everything. Exactly what made you upset and frustrated, what made you happy and what made you want to punch a hole through a wall, and everything that happened the past few weeks. You asked him about school and he told you that he already texted Aizawa and that he was fine with it and wrote you both passes.

It had been maybe two hours until you were calm enough that he could carefully pull out a dried rose and a small handwritten letter with large cursive lettering. You smiled and pointed to your closet.

“Can you grab the brown shoe box down from the top shelf?” To which he nodded and dutifully stood and grabbed you the box.

You opened it tenderly as he gasped at all the roses in the small container. You picked out the one with the ribbon and held it out to him. “This is the first one you ever gave me. It was when you told me you liked me, and I decided that I needed to keep these as mementoes.”

His eyes welled with tears as he laid the box and rose aside gently and hugged you tightly. His arms around your thick waist, hands sinking into your warm back. He smiled and rubbed his beak into you neck as a way of kissing you. You smiled and pet his cute feathers.

#anime #mha drabbles #mha headcanons #mha imagines #mha todoroki x reader #mha tokoyami #tokoyami x reader #x chubby reader #tokoyami x chubby reader #you are wonderful and deserving of love!!#depressed reader #romantic tokoyami #cute little gifts

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honeypirate · 3 years

Text

Julius. My heart hurts. Anyway more like a best friends mutual pining haven’t confessed yet type. Warning ⚠️ angst and death

LMAO wrote before I watched

“No no no” is the only word you can utter as you urge your broom to go faster.

You drop down beside Yami as Licht gets away and your magic is already going, purple swirls around Julius.

“Hello.. sweetheart” he says with a small pained smile, blood dripping down the corner of his mouth.

“Please” you beg, tears flowing down your cheeks as you shove more of your mana and spirit into your spell. It’s not gonna be enough.

“You’re so.. beautiful” he says and a choked sob escapes your throat

“You’re going to be fine Julius. I’m going to save you” you grit your teeth, he was still losing too much blood.

“I should have.. told you.. should have done more” he says with a pained quiet laugh “shhh Julius just let her work” Yami says and you hear his pain in his voice.

You have to do more than this. If you can’t give more than this he will die. You have to give everything. You push yourself and soon reach your limit but it’s not enough. You cry out. You’d give him your life in exchange if it was possible.

Your mana surges, your grimoire flipping through pages opening to a new spell and even though Julius is dying his eyes light up at the moment being able to witness something new again.

Your breath catches in your throat. This spell was incredibly powerful, giving you a choice that you don’t hesitate to make. You asked for a way and the mana provided.

You smiled gently at Julius, leaning down and kissing his forehead “Healing magic Purple vine interchange” you whisper as you pull back to look into his eyes with a smile and tearful eyes as purple ivy sprouts from the ground and encircles you both.

“Y/n what are you doing? What spell is this?” He asks as he gasps, his wounds healing quickly as his skin stitches back together.

You screw your eyes shut as the wound tears through your own body. White hot pain that you grit your teeth against. “I asked for a way to save you. The mana gave me a way.” You say with a pained chuckle and as the vines fade away you’re left kneeling in front of each other, and you’re bleeding out.

“It’s a .. life exchange” you say with a weak smile “and how could I sit here and choose my life over yours?”

Yami looks thoroughly confused as shit and Julius’ eyes fill with tears as he catches you when you fall back, gently laying you on the concrete and putting pressure on your wounds. “It was always you for me Julius. I’m happy. I don’t regret my choice I-..” you cough up blood and laugh softly at how gross it tastes and how you didn’t think this was how the day would end.

Julius and Yami have been speaking but you haven’t heard a word. Your eyes focused on the beautiful clouds in the darkening sky. You had a beautiful life and you don’t regret a thing.

“I’ve never.. told you yet.. Julius” his hand is taking yours as he holds his robe against your wound to staunch the bleeding. “Hush. Wait for Owen. Stay with me he’s coming”

You chuckle softly and your glossy eyes meet his “I’ve loved you my whole life” you say “I hope I’ve been able to show you that over the years.” You sigh, your body starting to grow numb “I’m really gonna miss you” your eyes flutter shut and you let out a deep breath, Julius’ hands are on your face but you just feel so numb. You’ll miss him the most.

#edit to add tags #Fuck me up. I wrote this at that episode didn’t watch anymore sobbed at wrote this.#julius novachrono x reader #black clover julius #julius novachrono

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babymetaldoll · 3 years

Text

Danger Days - Chapter thirteen: "Screaming infidelities"

Word count: 15,4K

Summary: It's Gubler's birthday and like the title says, someone will fuck it up.

Warnings: Cheating, cursing, angst, hurt, pain, alcohol, mention of oral sex.

A/N: Kids, I'm sorry. I didn't want to do this, but... it's done. Please don't hate me.

Masterlist

---

::: Paris, March 1st, 2011 :::

Joey stared at the ceiling of her room and sighed. She was alone. It was already midnight. She was happy she finally had a room on her own, after weeks traveling on a bus with the band. They were in Paris, and she was weary. But still, she couldn’t sleep. She stared at her phone and sighed. Matthew had said “I’ll call you back” an hour ago, and still, he hadn’t called her back. That was killing her.

She hadn’t seen her fiancé in over a month, and they were both in different time zones, which made it pretty hard to talk. She was nine hours ahead. At the moment, she was fighting to stay awake to talk to him, but he wasn’t calling her. Would it be wrong if she insisted? Matthew was working… maybe Joey should just sleep. She was weary after all, too much traveling, too many shows. That tour was fucking eternal, and she just wanted to go home.

The young woman walked to her bag, grabbed one of Matthew’s shirts, and put it on a pillow. Yes, she dressed a pillow in her boyfriend’s clothes. That’s how much she missed him. She could deal with loneliness ‘cos she was used to being alone. Still, somehow, she couldn’t deal with the loneliness that meant being far from Matthew.

- "It’s a good thing I decided to marry him then"- she said to herself as she stared at the ring on her finger.

A big part of her wanted to time travel and tell four-year-old Joey everything would be ok, that she was going to be happy after all. That she was going to manage to trust not one but two people. Her soon-to-be husband and her best friend, Mikey Way. If there was something she could cherish from being on tour with My Chem for months now, it was calling Michael James her brother.

Joey wrapped her arms around “Mattpillow” and smelled his perfume on it. Maybe it was better to text him and tell him she was gonna call earlier; it was… three in Los Angeles. If she set the alarm at six in the morning, she could catch him around nine. Yeah, that was much better.

- “Call you later. I’ll sleep a little, love you! Take care!”- she texted him.

::: Barcelona, March 5th, 2011 :::

Mikey, Ray, and Joey walked outside the arena, searching for the best sangria they could find before the show. Joey’s mom had sent them on that quest, repeating over and over again there was no way they left Spain without having tasted it. And considering it was alcohol, they didn’t argue a lot with Mrs. Sigmundsson.

- "Dude, I’m so fucking tired"- Mikey whined as he finished his hundredth cup of coffee of the day.

- "I know, I need a break from touring"- Joey said and yawned- "I wanna go home."

- "Me too"- Ray added and looked at his phone- "I miss my wife."

- "Oh, shut up!"- Mikey argued right away- "I don’t wanna go over this conversation again, you have someone you love, and you miss them. I don’t miss home, I have no one, end of the story"- Joey and Ray looked at each other and raised an eyebrow.

- "Is your underwear too tight today, or are you just being a little bitch because you want to?"- Joey asked right away, Ray chuckled, but Mikey didn’t think it was funny.

- "Shut up, Bug."

- "Not in the mood to be nice, then."

- "Nop"- that last “p” sounded like the end of it. But that wasn’t going to stop Joey.

- "Sorry, we are…"- what stopped Joey was her cellphone. Her eyes shone like diamonds when she saw Matthew’s face at the other side of the screen, waking up.

- "Yami! Good morning!"

- "Akumu!!!"- Ray and Mikey looked at her and walked a little faster to give her some privacy.

- "Is she still sleeping with the “Mattpillow”?"- Toro asked- "That shit is creepy"- and Way laughed, finally, he had been pretty serious that day. And the day before.

- "Yeah, that’s a thing. I’ve taken pictures I wanna use to blackmail her in case I ever need it."

- "Good plan"- Ray looked around. Joey was standing half a block behind, still on the phone- "Mikey, are you ok?"

- "Yeah, why?"

- "‘Cos you don’t seem to be ok at all,"- Toro felt it was his duty as a friend to tell what had been in his mind for the last couple of weeks- "Dude I’m sorry, I just… don’t think you… it’s shitty you are getting a divorce. I just don’t think you are taking it well."

- "Can you take a divorce well?"- Mikey simply replied, and that was enough to shut Ray up.

- "I’m just trying to tell you I’m here if you want to talk, and you don’t have to get so drunk every time we are out or whatever."

- "Is this an intervention? ‘Cos we had many those for Gerard back in the days. I can recognize an intervention."

- "No, Mikey! It’s not. Everybody should be here reading letters if it was"- Ray had a point- "I’m just trying to tell you, I’m here for you, man. And we can talk about anything."

- "I know, Ray… I just… don’t feel..."

- "You don’t feel like talking, I know, you haven’t talked about it, ever I guess… and I don’t feel that’s working for you. I’m scared and worried, and I’m your friend, I had to tell you."

Way and Toro stared at each other in silence for a few seconds. Mikey knew Ray was right; he had shut down from all his friends, basically for the last three months or so. Still, he didn’t feel ready to share any kind of thought or feeling with any of them.

- "Ok kids, around the block, there’s a place called “Las tapas de Pepe.” Apparently, they have a killer sangria"- Joey clapped and walked past them on her way to the bar.

- "Wait, how do you know that?"

- "Because, Raúl me enseñó muchas cosas nuevas, (Raul taught me a lot of new things)"- the two musicians looked at her frowning not getting a word, so the girl turned to them and smiled- "That guy over there, his name is Raúl. I asked for sangria, he gave me an address. Come on!"

Joey turned around again, avoiding looking sad in front of her friends. The truth was, she wasn’t doing that well about being far from Matthew. It was getting too hard. She was thinking about quitting. And every time she talked to him, she was feeling more sure about that decision. She never told him, though. She didn’t want to make him feel responsible in case she made a mistake leaving the job. She also didn’t want him to know how much influence he had on her, Joey didn’t want to lose power in his life, she didn’t want to stop being independent, but it was hard.

::: Germany, March 8th, 2011 :::

Mikey was sugar rushed, jumping around the bunks as the bus traveled from Zurich to Munich. He and Joey had bought most of the chocolates in Switzerland and ate half of them in less than two hours. They were in heaven. Sugar heaven.

- "Can you please stop it?"- Gerard yelled at them from his bunk.

- "Nope"- his younger brother answered and jumped like a kid on top of him.

- "Leave me alone! I wanna sleep!"

- "Fine. Come on, Bug, let’s get away from this loser"- his words were so childish Joey burst out laughing.

- "Get in, loser, we are going shopping"- Joey said and flipped her hair. Gerard stared at her walking away with his brother, and groaned as he covered his head with the pillow.

He was fucked.

The last month had been torture for him. Joey was now not even talking to him. Never. It felt she honestly hated him, and he knew he couldn’t ask. Lynz kept asking for her, and he was sure she suspected something was going on.

- "So, have you and the guys have fun these days?"- she had asked earlier that day when he called her before the show.

- "Fun like going out fun? No, we are too tired to move. These weeks have been killers."

- "So you are all just at the bus locked the whole time?"

- "Pretty much"

- "On each other’s faces?"

- "Yeah… I wanna kill Mikey."

- "And how’s Joey doing?"

- "Good… we haven’t talked much."

- "She hadn’t talked to you or you hadn’t?"- the singer made a pause thinking about that question, and most of all thinking what would be an intelligent answer to that.

- "We don’t share a lot"- that all he had- "I guess we don’t talk to each other"- he made a pause and lit a cigarette, walking on his own through the backstage- "Why do you ask?"

- "I don’t know, I guess you never talk about her, and I thought it might be because you have…"- Lynz made a pause to make her husband even more nervous- "A problem with her or something."

- "No, we don’t have a problem, we aren’t friends, that’s all…"

Now on the bus, Gerard closed his eyes, still hiding under the pillow, Joey’s laughter all around him, while Frank and Ray played video games. What was he going to do?

::: At the bus, close to Munich. March 9th, 2011 :::

It was Matthew’s birthday, and Joey was miserable ‘cos she couldn’t spend the day with him. But still, she set her alarm at eight am and locked herself in the back of the bus, texting him. She wanted to be the first one to sing happy birthday to him. And so she waited, looking at the clock.

She went through old pictures to kill time, watched part of a movie Mikey had left on the DVD the night before. Matthew didn’t reply to her text. And so she waited longer. Joey wanted to call him at midnight. She was nine hours ahead. Minute by minute, she waited. Until it was time. She smiled and dialed. Nothing. Again. Nothing.

- "Where the fuck are you?"- her stomach was made a knot as her brows furrowed. Third call. Matthew finally picked up the FaceTime call.

- "Yami!!!"- he yelled, wasted- "It’s a party!"- he pointed around and moved the camera of his phone like a maniac, making Joey dizzy right away. No wonder why he wasn’t picking up.

- "Happy birthday, Akumu!"

- "Hey! Hey!"- he tried to walk through a lot of people as Joey frowned, wondering where the hell her fiancée was.

- "Wild party!"- she said as soon as she noticed Gubler had locked himself in a bathroom to talk.

- "Yeah! The guys set a little surprise party for me"- he slurred and smiled- "I love you."

- "I love you too."

- "No, I love you more. Why aren’t you here?"

- "‘Cos I’m working, but I’ll be home in two weeks, so wait for me."

- "I want you here now."

- "I wish I was there."

- "Then quit"- Joey sighed. Arguing was useless; Matthew was drunk.

- "Hey! Akumu, is Paget there? Is she gonna drive you home?"

- "No, she’s not here."

- "You are not partying with your friends?"

- "Yeah, with the guys from the movie"- Joey raised an eyebrow, thinking she had no idea where Matthew was or with who.

- "Are you sure you are ok?"

- "Yeah, baby! It’s my birthday, we are gonna party like it’s my birthday!"- Joey’s heart ached at the thought of what could go wrong. But she loved and trusted her boyfriend, and she knew he would never hurt her.

- "Hey Matthew"- she said and looked straight into his eyes through the camera- "I love you."

- "I love you too."

- "I’ve got your heart here with me all the time"- she showed him her necklace, and he nodded- "There’s gonna be a present from me waiting for you when you get home."

- "Nice!"- Joey smiled, thinking it was probably Matthew wasn’t going to remember that conversation- "Listen, Yami, someone is trying to get into the bathroom."

- "That’s ok, I’ll call you later, ok dorky?"- he nodded and waved, the girl kissed the screen, but he had already hung down.

Joey hated being in Germany at the moment.

Could Gubler be an asshole and cheat? No way, Joey trusted him with her eyes wide shut. But he was hot and drunk, and she was sure there were more than just a couple of girls trying to get into his pants. If the guys were there- his friends- she wouldn’t even worry about it. But they weren’t. He was with some random people from the set she hadn’t even met.

Soon the regret of their last fight came to mind. They weren’t mad at each other, but perhaps… no, there’s no way he would be an asshole because of that stupid fight. It was a silly fight for her. Was it serious for him?

A few nights before, Matthew had gotten mad at a conversation with Joey ‘cos she didn’t want to change her last name. That’s what he picked from the conversation. She just said she didn’t think it was necessary to do so. He didn’t take it that well.

- "What’s the problem with changing your name?"

- "I’m just saying the tradition of women changing their last names after they marry it’s a bit old fashion. It makes me think women are still treated like an object that “belongs” to a man."

- "So you won’t change your last name?"- the girl frowned, staring at Matthew’s wide-opened eyes on the screen.

- "That’s not… do you want me to change it?"

- "Yes! of course, I do! you are gonna be my wife!"

- "So? If I’m still Joey Sveinbjörndottir after we marry, I won’t be your wife?"

- "That’s not what I meant"- Gubler was more frustrated than he had felt in months over any conversation they had ever had. This time, it was serious.

- "Then what is it?"

- "I’m just saying you should change your last name ‘cos we will be married, and I’d love for you to be Mrs. Gubler."

- "I will be your wife, isn’t that enough?"

- "Why do you always have to be so fucking independent?"- Matthew just yelled- "Can you just try to understand I want you to be mine? My wife! And I want everybody to know it!"

- "So you wanna put me on display?"

- "No!! Fuck no!!"- Matthew was tired and defeated. It seemed that stupid argument was more about a bunch of little things that had grown inside his head instead of just about the last name.

- "Why can’t I be independent? Is that a bad thing?"

- "No! It’s a good thing! I just... "- Matthew bit his tongue and sighed, trying to rearrange the thoughts in his head. He needed to make sure whatever he was going to say would explain his feelings clearly.

- "You just?"- Joey asked, standing in the middle of the hotel room she was staying at that night. She just stared at the wall, thinking she had no idea what had gotten into her boyfriend’s head.

- "I just don’t feel you need me sometimes."

- "What? Are you crazy?"

- "No, that’s what I feel. Are you gonna blame me for feeling?"

- "Well, you are being silly!"

Joey was real angry at him at the moment. Everything he had said hurt her. It seemed he had insulted all the kindness and love she had given him when it was very hard for her to show her feelings and let someone into her heart.

- "What is it that you want from me, Matthew? Do you want me to be needy and clingy? ‘Cos you know that’s not who I am!"

- "I know that! I just sometimes… it feels like you’d be great without me."

- "What?"

- "Like you don’t…"- but the girl didn’t let him continue.

- "Don’t say you feel I don’t love you!"

- "I know you love me."

- "Then?"

- "You don’t depend on me the way I depend on you"- the drummer was in shock at those words. Did he depend on her?- "You leave me here, you tour the world, you are happy, I’m here, I miss you. Every time we talk, you are shining… meanwhile, I am here, dying, waiting to be with you!"

- "First of all, you could come!"

- "I’m working too!"- but Joey cut him off and continued.

- "Second, who says I don’t miss you? Just because I’m not crying when we talk doesn’t mean I am not miserable! Matthew! What the fuck are you saying? I fucking love you with my whole life! I hate being here when I could be there with you at this very same minute doing anything together, even when that anything is staring at the wall! But I have to work, and I happen to love my job, the same way you love yours! You can’t blame me for not quitting!"

Joey bit her lips as she stared at Matthew at the other side of the screen. She was making her best not to cry. She had never been so mad at her fiancé before.

- "I just…"- he tried to continue, but his voice broke- "I feel like I’m going insane here without you"- tears fell from his eyes as Joey wiped off hers from her cheeks.

- "Matthew, I miss you too! Fuck! I’m going crazy, just like you! I want to be there. I wanna kiss you! I wanna make love to you! But… you can’t ask me to be someone I’m not! Can’t you just be happy your girlfriend loves you, misses you, and will marry you as soon as she finishes touring?"

Gubler sighed and stared at her.

- "I wanna spend the rest of my life with you, Matthew Gray Gubler. I don’t care about the last name. I don’t care about anything as long as you are beside me."

The young man sighed and cut her a short smile.

- "How do you always end up making me feel like a dork for getting mad at you?"

- "‘Cos I’m gonna be your wife, that’s my job"- she chuckled, and they stared in silence for a few seconds.

- "I love you so much, Joey."

- "I love you more, Matthew Gray."

That had been days before. Was Matthew still upset at her because of that? No way. He didn’t sound mad at all. He was just drunk and happy to celebrate his birthday.

- "You are overthinking this ‘cos you are far from him"- the girl reassured herself out loud and looked at the screen again- “Love you dorky”- she typed and sent her boyfriend a message. That was something he couldn’t forget.

The girl stayed still looking at the TV in front of her for a few seconds, but the knot in her stomach was too tight, and the thoughts in her head were too scary. She felt sick, scared, anxious.

Joey was jealous, shit!

She ended up puking in the bus’s tiny bathroom, just like every time she felt seriously distressed.

- "Hey, are you ok?"- Gerard found her on the bathroom floor, flushing, pale, and a little weak.

- "Yeah…"

- "Are you sick?"

- "No, I just… I’m ok."

- "Sure?"

- "Yeah, I just need an herbal tea. I felt dizzy all of a sudden"- she held the hand he offered her and stood up.

- "I’ll put on the kettle"- Joey stumbled a little as she walked with Gerard to the front of the bus.

- "Hey Bug"- she heard Mikey’s voice as he opened the curtain of his bunk. She slowly moved over and sat next to him- "Did you talk to Matthew?"

- "Yeah, he was wasted"- and Mikey chuckled.

- "That’s my boy."

- "I didn’t like it."

- "Come on, he is a good kid. He will probably drink his liver away and then go to bed, have a killer hangover, and talk to you until either of you falls asleep like he always does."

Mikey reassured her, and the girl chuckled, nodding. Her friend was right. She was still dizzy, though, so she carefully laid down next to him and felt his arms around her slowly.

- "Bug, you are freezing."

- "I’m ok. Gerard is making me an herbal tea… I should do it, actually; he ain’t my nanny"- the girl tried to stand up, but Mikey held her.

- "You should get into your bunk for another while. You might be getting the flu."

- "I’m ok, trust me"- she finally stood up and smiled at her friend.

- "Here, take my hoodie."

- "Thanks… it stinks."

- "But it’s warm, does the trick"- she smiled and put it on. Gerard had just left the cup of tea on the table. She walked over slowly and cut him a smile. An honest and nice smile.

- "Thank you, Gerard."

- "You can call me Gee, you know"- she nodded and sat down by the table.

Gerard sat in front of her, sipping his fresh cup of coffee. The two of them were quiet. Joey was thinking about Gubler. What was he doing at that very exact moment? Why wasn’t she there? How would it have been if they were together? They would probably be naked in his bed. And that would be great. It would be way much better than what she was doing at the moment, sitting on a bus staring at the window.

- "Are you sure you are alright?"- he whispered, and she nodded again- "Do you wanna go back to bed? I mean bunk."

- "No, I’m fine here… besides, we should be getting ready…"- she stayed quiet and looked outside- "Where are we?"

- "Munich"

- "Great… we had a hotel room here, right?"

- "Yeah"

- "Finally!!!"- she raised her arms, and he chuckled- "I need a real bed."

- "Me too."

- "And a long fucking bath"- he nodded and looked into her eyes. They were stuck in the cup of tea again.

- "We’ve got the Valencia gig in a couple of days."

- "Right! The MTV streamed no stressful at all show in Spain"- he chuckled and nodded.

- "Nervous?"

- "Not really"- she lied, the fact MTV was going to stream the show was freaking her out, but at the moment, she didn’t care that much. Her head was back in Los Angeles. Her phone hummed, and she quickly grabbed it. “I love you too,” Matthew had written, and a deep sigh came from her lips. Gerard was going to ask something, but not a word came from his lips. Instead, Jeff - their tour manager - opened the door and smiled.

- "I got you an early check-in at the hotel."

And those words were music for Joey’s ears.

That day was hell for the girl. The good thing was the band didn’t have anything to do but play the show, which meant: movies with Mikey and Frank, the best way to keep her head busy from thinking the worst.

- "I’m bored"- Frank whispered as he played with Joey’s hair, who was laid next to him.

- "We have to leave for the show in a while"- Mikey whispered, half awake, half asleep.

- "Great"- the girl murmured, eyes glued at the screen- "I’m hungry."

- "You just ate."

- "I’m bored. Boredom makes me hungry."

- "Come on, let’s get something to eat"- Frank grabbed Joey’s hand and stood up- "I need to move from this bed, or I’m gonna die of boredom."

- "Can you bring me some ice cream?"- Mikey asked from the bed as Joey and Frank put on their shoes.

- "Nope, if you want something, you gotta come with us"- the girl smiled at her friend, who didn’t move.

- "Damn it! Fine… I won’t have ice cream."

- "Good for you, see ya!"

Gerard was just done jerking off in his bed. He wasn’t happy about it, but he didn’t have much to do. He had tried to make music, but shit wasn’t working. He had thought about calling his wife, but it was five in the morning in Los Angeles. He was miserable. He wanted to find a way to end his agony. But all he could think about was Joey walking around the bus in her pajamas. Joey sleeping in the back of the bus in those shorts and a tank top. Joey curled on a couch reading Edgar Allan Poe. His cock was killing him, and his hand hadn’t been enough. He wanted her so bad it hurt, and masturbation just wasn’t enough anymore.

He wanted to tell her that he loved her. That he was willing to make her happy. But he knew he couldn’t do either of those things.

- “Come live with me and my wife, ‘cos polygamy ain’t illegal or whatever.”

The singer sighed and looked at the ceiling, toilet paper all over his hand, cleaning the mess he had left.

- "You have issues, dude"- Gerard said out loud and closed his eyes. Honestly, there was nothing he could do but to love the girl from a safe distance and hope for his feelings to fade as soon as the tour was over.

Way didn’t want that tour to end because he didn’t want to be apart from Joey. In fact, Gerard was starting to feel obsessed. He hated it, but still, he didn’t know how to stop.

Frank kept laughing like a kid as he and Joey sat at the hotel’s roof deck. He was drinking a beer and smoking while she finished her second ice cream.

- "Mikey Fucking Way"- she argued, frowning- "Because of him, I can’t stop thinking about getting ice cream."

- "You are so fucking high in sugar"- Frank added and grinned.

- "I know! It’s gonna be hell when I get my sugar hangover."

- "I can kiss your temples if that helps"- he answered and winked at her. The girl smiled and raised an eyebrow.

- "Why are you such a flirt with me, Frank Anthony?"

- "I am not a flirt!"- he answered, nearly insulted, but still chuckled after a few seconds as his friend stared at him right into the eyes.

- "Come on! We’ve been friends for a long while now. You are always such a flirt with me. Are you like this with all the girls?"

- "Define like this"- he answered with a lower voice and made his best to look as hot as fuck.

- "Just what you did, you are adorable and hot and cute and all innocent. Why are you like that?"

- "Why? You don’t like it?"

- "I love it, it’s so fucking funny and cute, like you. But sometimes it makes me wonder if you are like that with all the girls…"

- "Why?"

- "’Cause I know you are just my friend, and you can be as flirty as you want; I know it’s a game. But what if you do this with someone who doesn’t get it as I do… then what?"- Frank stayed quiet, looking at his friend. Then took a long drag from his cigarette.

- "What if I’m just a flirt with you?"

- "I surely doubt it"- Joey quickly answered, laughing- "I’ve seen you flirt with basically 99% of the girls we’ve met this tour. You just don’t notice it."

- "I haven’t!"

- "You do, Frank, that’s why I know you are harmless"- that frustrated the guitarist, though he knew he wasn’t going to get any with her anyway. She was his friend; he loved his wife. He just thought Joey was hot.

- "Tell you what, I like flirting with you ‘cos you are cute, and you don’t get nervous"- Iero simply confessed.

- "Of course, I don’t! You are my friend, and this is like…"

- "The nature of our friendship?"

- "You just read my mind, Jersey"- the two of them stayed quiet and smiled.

- "I would hit on you if I wasn’t married, though"- Joey burst out laughing at those words, but Frank just smiled- "I mean it."

- "I know."

- "If I wasn’t… and I did… do you think I’d stand a chance?"- the girl blushed and finished her ice cream.

- "I’d say you would if Gub wasn’t in the picture, of course. We could have gone out on a couple of dates, have fun."

- "And fuck like bunnies"- Frank added, and Joey hit his arm.

- "Dude, you are my friend. Friends don’t fuck."

- "What? So friends make love? besides, we are talking about an alternative universe that will never happen!"

- "Shut up!! You are gross!!"- Joey covered her face with both hands as she shook her head- "You are so fucking funny Jersey, I’m glad I met you."

- "I’m glad I met you too, Iceland. You should stay forever"- she smiled and nodded.

- "I’m not going anywhere today."

- "I mean, you should sign to be a member of the band, like… one of us."

- "One of the guys?"

- "Yeah"- she smiled and held his hand.

- "You are taking this relationship too fast. We’ve been together a few months. We haven’t even moved in together. I don’t think we are quite there yet."

- "You live on my fucking face, Iceland"- Frank laughed and pushed her- "Which reminds me, you have to do your fucking laundry."

- "Yeah… I swear I’ll do it in Spain, while you do all the press and I have the hotel all by myself."

- "You know, sometimes I hate you for that."

- "For not having to do any interviews?"

- "Yeah… I hate those things."

- "Why? 'cos you have to sit in front of a microphone for hours answering the same fucking questions, over and over again?"- she said, smiling.

- "Fuck you."

- "I’m sorry!!"- she laughed, and he grinned- "I bet press sucks, but it comes hand in hand with being a rockstar."

- "I hate that too"- he said and scratched his head, stubbing his cigar in an ashtray- "I just wanted to make music. I don’t know where everything else came from. Sometimes I wish I could stop it all and go home, be with my babies, with my wife."

Frank suddenly had gotten too serious and too deep, something Joey knew was like the comet Halley: it happened once in a lifetime around her.

- "Why don’t you stop?"- she innocently asked, mostly ‘cos she had thought about stopping herself.

- "I don’t know, it’s like… you somehow got trapped in this machine, and it won’t stop working, and if you take a step back, it all collapses…-" he looked at his hands as he spoke, but Joey held them and smiled.

- "I don’t think anything is gonna collapse if you stop doing tour after tour for a while"- she whispered- "There are more important things in life than concerts, you know."

- "Name one"- he said and looked into her eyes.

- "Your kids"

- "Nailed it"- and Joey burst out laughing- "It was too easy!"

- "Exactly, nothing is more important than the ones we love, so shut the fuck up and man up! ask for a break every once in a while, ‘cos this leg of the tour, I must say, has been misery for all of us."

- "I know!"- Frank gesticulated in the most Jersey Italian way that always made Joey laugh- "It’s been hell!"

- "The only good thing of it all, other than the money, I mean"- she said and chuckled- "It’s the fact I can call you my friend."

- "Awww, Iceland. You could have called me your friend from day one, even when I hated the guts out of you."

- "Why did you hate me, by the way?"

- "‘Cos I wanted to do you so bad I didn’t want you in the band"- Frank simply answered, and the drummer raised an eyebrow.

- "Are you joking?"- by her face, Iero could tell the comment hadn’t been the best he had done.

- "Of course, I am!!"- no, he wasn’t- "I just didn’t want to make a circus out of the fact you are a girl. I knew people would start making up stories, and Jamia would be nervous and jealous because of you… having a woman in the band back then meant a mess I didn’t want to deal with."

- "And why did you change your mind?"

- "Mikey forced me"- Joey nodded, and Frank smiled- "And Jamia was really into you from day one. She loved the idea of adding a girl into the tour ‘cos there weren’t enough women in rock… but mostly ‘cos I told her your boyfriend was the hot guy from Criminal Minds, and I swear, she nearly yelled. She wanted me to friend you so she could meet him."

- "I’m in this band ‘cos your wife thinks my soon to be husband is hot?"- and Frank nodded- "I owe Jamia more than I thought I would. Maybe I can send her a picture of Matthew naked"- Frank raised an eyebrow as Joey smiled- "You know she is gonna love those."

- "But he is so tall… he is gonna make me look bad"- he joked, and Joey laughed like she hadn’t laugh that whole day.

- "Of course, he is. But in your defense… he could make every single fucking man on earth look bad. Have you seen his feet?"

- "Joey!! Shut up!!!"

Matthew woke up on his bed, his head killing him and a complete blur of what his night had been. He just sat and scratched his head.

- “What time is it?... wait, how did I get home?... fuck!! What happened last night?!”

The young actor nearly jumped as he started to recap his birthday party. The cast from the movie had arranged a party in a local bar, he was really happy about it, though he almost declined it. He was tired, but his co-star convinced him it was a great idea to go out, get to know everybody a little better, and start his birthday celebration.

- "Oh fuck"- he grunted- "My fucking head is killing me…"- he reached out for his phone and found it on his nightstand. He had a few unread messages from Joey

- “I love you Akumu!”- he smiled right away- “Remember to leave a bottle of water by your bed to keep you hydrated”- and he had indeed left one there- “Save some birthday belated celebration for my comeback in a few days.”

- "Honey!"- his mother’s voice took him from his head as he looked at his bedroom’s door

- "Mom! What are you doing here?"

- "Happy birthday, honey!!"- he stood up and walked over to hug her immediately.

- "Mom! Thank you so much for coming!"

- "I had to come, I have to give you something"- the actor frowned- "This came into the mail for you a few weeks ago, but I had to wait until today to give it to you"

Mrs. Gubler smiled as she gave her son a box. It was completely hand-drawn with jako lanterns, cute skulls, ghosts, and hearts.

- "What is this?"

- "A present that you got from very far away, or so it seems."

Matthew grabbed the box and sat on his bed to open it. Inside, there was a letter from his fiancé, a couple of gorgeous kimonos, Japanese books, art, a few Halloween shirts, and unmatching socks. Matthew was speechless, staring at the box. It was amazing.

- "I can’t believe this"

- "Joey sent it when she reached London, and we agreed I would bring it to you today."

- "Thank you"- he moved over and gave her a hug.

- "Don’t thank me for coming over on your birthday, honey. I love you, thank the girl at the other side of the world who gathered everything you might love and shipped it to you on your special day"- she kissed his cheeks and stood up-" I’m gonna make you breakfast, and you are gonna take a shower ‘cos you stick, are you still drunk?"

- "No mom"

- "Then call your wife! And thank her for the presents!"

- "Yes, mom!"

Matthew grabbed his phone, smiling, and dialed Joey’s number. It rang once. It rang twice. He was about to give up and try later when the girl picked up and smiled at the other side of the screen.

- "Birthday boy!"

- "Baby! You are amazing!"- he quickly said and laid back on his bed- "I just got my presents."

- "Did your mom give you the box?! did you like it?"

- "Hell yeah! It’s amazing, thank you"

- "Did you like the kimonos?"

- "They are the softest!"

- "I know!! I was in shock! You can hang them in the kimono closet!! So when you get home, you can get naked, grab a kimono and just relax!"

- "Are you gonna be naked under your kimono too?"- the girl giggled nervously.

- "That’s very likely"

- "I like that idea. Where are you?"

- "Backstage warming up, we are playing at eight… did you just wake up?"

- "Yeah…"- he whispered and closed his eyes.

- "You were fucking wasted last night."

- "I thought you didn’t notice"- he answered, chuckling, still feeling uneasy about his wild night out. It felt off. Probably ‘cos he was way too hungover.

- "Matthew Gray Gubler, I’m gonna be your wife. I know when you are drunk, you can’t fool me even if you tried your best"- the actor laughed softly (laughing also hurt) and nodded at Joey- "Wait, the guys wanna say hello."

Matthew saw Mikey, Frank, and Ray appear and waved at the camera.

- "Happy birthday, dude!"- Ray said smiling- "How’s the hangover?"

- "Killing me!"

- "Save some liver for our party, man!"- Mikey said and waved too

- "Hope you have a great day!"- Frank added.

- "Thanks, guys!"- Matthew said and waved, yet his eyes were glued at Joey, who kept looking at him with a warm smile.

- "Where’s Gerard?"- Mikey asked and looked around. Gerard. Gubler frowned immediately. He hated him deeply, and he hated the fact Joey worked with him.

- "He was smoking outside"- Frank answered and waved again at the screen- "See you, Gubler!"

- "Bye guys!"- the band walked away, and Joey was now again all alone- "Hey, gorgeous"

- "Hey, wild party beast. What are you doing for the rest of your birthday?"

- "I’m not leaving this bed"- Joey laughed and looked at him in silence for a couple of minutes.

- "I’m gonna be in that bed with you in twelve days, can you believe that?"

- "I’ve waited so long it seems to be an eternity, but at the same time, it feels like it’s gonna be tomorrow."

- "I know exactly how you feel."

- "Honey! breakfast!"- Matthew’s mother yelled from the kitchen, making the young man laugh.

- "I am ten years old again, or was that just a strong flashback?"

- "Go eat, I’ll play a show, and I’ll call you from the hotel, ok?"- he nodded and smiled.

- "I love you so much, Yami."

- "I love you more, Matthew Gray “birthday boy” Gubler. Talk to you in a couple of hours."

The actor hung down and sighed. He felt happy to know he had her in his life. That she was gonna be his wife. As he thought about it, he started going through some of the pictures from the night before. He remembered half of it, but it felt like he had fun.

- "Fuck!!"- he shouted and wide opened his eyes.

Maybe a little too much fun.

Matthew stared at the screen in shock. There was a picture of him kissing two girls at the same time. Two. Girls. Kissing. Him. At. The. Same. Fucking. Time. And it didn’t help when he noticed, one of those girls was his ex-girlfriend.

- "Shit! Shit! Shit!"- he kept going through the party pictures, shots, laughter, his ex kissing him while they danced. Bunch of people, more people laughing, his ex and her friend kissing him again.

- "Fucking shit! What the fuck did I do?!"

Matthew’s heart was about to come out of his throat as he started deleting every single photo from his phone. Why were those there? Why did he do that? Who saw him? Where were those pictures now?

- "What the fuck did you do, mother fucker?! What else did you do?!"

Matthew couldn’t move. He just sat with the phone in his hands, thinking if he erased those pictures from his phone, it was like it never happened. But now it was in his mind, and he couldn’t stop the memories from coming back.

He was drunk and sad after talking with Joey. He had another shot and decided to go home, but his ex-girlfriend and one of her friends- part of the team of the movie he was filming- appeared and invited him to dance. Drunk Matthew didn’t seem to think it was a bad idea and joined them on the dancefloor. They danced, the girls started kissing. Gubler liked it and didn’t move away when they moved closer to him and started kissing with him too.

- "Oh fuck!!"- he wanted to kill himself.

But that wasn’t all. He wished it was, but it was all coming back now. His ex took him to the backroom.

- "No!"- Matthew yelled, widening his eyes- "No!"- he repeated, as his mother appeared running into his room.

- "Honey! What is it?! What happened?"

- "I fucked it up!"- he simply answered and didn’t move an inch

- "What are you talking about?"

- "Last night at the party… I ran into Annie, and she was with a friend and…"- the actor made a pause and scratched his head aggressively

- "Matthew?"

- "And they kissed me happy birthday…"

- "Matthew?"

- "And then… mom sorry, I can’t tell you this"- the young man tried to stand up, but his mother stopped him.

- "Matthew Gray Gubler, what did you do last night?"

- "I made out with them, and Annie gave me a blowjob"- he covered his face with both hands, embarrassed and regretful. He felt sick, dirty, gross. He felt like an animal, like everything he had always hated, like a man who cheated.

He cheated. And he wasn’t going to be able to undo it or even forget it.

Matthew broke into tears quietly at first, but his sobbing grew bigger, sadder, and more desperate. He hated himself, he needed to find a way to forget about what had happened, but he couldn’t. Instead, the memories kept coming; Annie kneeled in front of him.

- "Mom… I fucked it up."

- "Yes"- she simply replied- "You did, and Joey is gonna find out, no matter if you don’t tell her."

- "How do you know? Maybe no one saw us"- the actor was in denial and desperate to find anything that could keep him from dealing with the truth- I might have just dreamt the whole thing, maybe it never happened

- "Matthew?"

- "Maybe I can forget about it. If I don’t remember it, then it never happened."

- "Matthew"

- "Mom, I can’t tell her!"- he nearly shouted, nervous and grossed out by himself.

- "I didn’t raise a liar or a cheater"- the young man looked at his mother with watered-up eyes.

- "How am I supposed to tell her something like this? she is gonna hate me! She is gonna break up with me, mom. I know her."

- "You have to take responsibility for the things you’ve done, Matthew. You said you wanted to marry her. You can’t start that commitment with a lie."

- "She is gonna hate me… fuck, I hate me…"

- "Well, you brought it to yourself, Matthew Gray, so you have to fix it."

Gubler took a long shower and cried half of it. He couldn’t believe what he had gotten into. Or why. What had gotten into him to get so drunk ‘till the point of letting his ex-girlfriend give him a blow job? That wasn’t him. He remembered he felt bad after talking with Joey. He knew he couldn’t stop thinking she was touring with Gerard and hated him. What if he had tried to make his move on her? What if she fell for him? She wouldn’t. But what if she did? They had been apart for so long. No, he trusted her with his life. She would never do such a thing.

Then why had he done it?

Matthew honestly wanted to kill himself. That’s how guilty he felt. He knew Joey was never going to forgive him, and he was considering not ever telling her. She was never going to find out if he didn’t confess. Maybe he could take it to the grave.

Mikey hugged Joey goodnight and watched her walk to her room. Gerard looked at them from the other side of the hallway. The girl waved at him, and he waved back.

- "Hey! What are you doing?"- Mikey asked his brother as he lazily walked over him, weary after the show.

- "I just wanted to know if you wanna hang out. James and Frank are locked in their rooms already. Maybe we can watch a movie or something. I don’t feel like being on my own for a while"- Mikey nodded at Gerard.

- "Sure, man. Let me take a shower, and I’ll be right there."

Originally, Gerard wanted to drag Joey along with his brother, ‘cos it seemed like the only way to hang out with her. But she had disappeared way too fast to make his move.

The girl took a shower, put on her pajamas, and dialed Matthew’s number. He didn’t reply.

- "Hangover man has to be hanging out with his mom"- the girl thought out loud and grabbed a book to kill time. He was going to call when he was ready to talk.

Was he?

Matthew saw his cell phone right and froze. His hands shook when he reached out to answer, and that’s when he realized he couldn’t. He wasn’t going to be able to lie to her. But he couldn’t tell her either. He was home alone. His mom was out, mainly to give him space to think and talk with Joey in private. But yet, Matthew didn’t know what to do or what to say.

- "Ok, she is the woman you want to spend the rest of your life with, and you are willing to do everything that’s in your power to keep her by your side"- he said and looked at his reflex in the mirror and then washed his face.

- "Akumu!"- Joey smiled as soon as he saw him- "How was breakfast?"

- "Chocolate chips hotcakes with a whipped cream smile on top, and lots of coffee."

- "Spoiled by your mother on your birthday, lucky man"- he smiled and felt a knot in his throat.

- “Fuck! this is going to be so hard!” And how was the show?"

- "It was good, not the finest though… we are all so fucking tired"- the girl laid on her bed and smiled at her boyfriend- "When I get home, I’m not leaving that bed Matthew Gray Gubler, I’m gonna spend every second there... sleeping."

- "I’m not planning on sleeping if you are in this bed"- he answered and felt his voice shake at the end of the sentence, guilt taking over him.

- "You are gonna have to let me sleep at least a day. I’m so fucking tired and jet-lagged all the time. This tour ruined my sleeping schedule"- Joey joked but frowned as she noticed her boyfriend had tears falling from his eyes- "Akumu, what is it? Are you ok? Why are you crying?"

- "‘Cos I miss you"- he simply answered- "I miss you so fucking much! Can we just get married when you get here? I’ll pick you up at the airport, drive us to the nearest church, and we just get married right away"- the girl sighed with watered-up eyes herself as she stared at Gubler sobbing.

- "I miss you too… and I can’t wait to marry you either."

- "Can you promise me you’ll always be with me? No matter what?"

- "Matthew, I swear I’ll always be by your side"- the girl felt broken-hearted by the emotion in her fiancé’s words. She had never seen him so sad before, was it because she wasn’t there on his birthday?- "That is the main reason why I wanna marry you dorky, ‘cos I wanna spend the rest of my life with you, in one eternal Halloween"- Matthew smiled at those words and wiped off his tears.

- "Sorry, I’m just a little emotional… ‘cos I miss you, and I need you here."

- "I’m sorry I couldn’t be there."

- "No, Yami, don’t be sorry. You are working! And you are so awesome and incredible. I swear I don’t deserve you."

Matthew kept trying to stop crying, but it was harder than he thought. He was feeling so guilty, so low, the worst human on earth. And the girl on the other side of the world was just telling him she thought he was the best man amongst them all.

- "Yes, you do! You are an incredible man, hangover boy! I should be the one telling you how amazing you are, it’s your birthday! I want to make you feel happy all the time, please don’t be sad!"

- "I just need to see your face to be happy today"- he answered without hesitation and sighed- "You know what?"

- "What?"

- "I’m gonna tour with you."

- "What?"- Joey frowned and looked at how Matthew sat correctly on his bed and fixed his hair.

- "Yes, I will. I hate this. I hate being apart from you this long. So next couple of months, I’m gonna follow you wherever you go."

- "You’d do that for me?"- the girl widened her eyes

- "Joey, I would do anything for you"- Matthew made sure to pronounce every word as slowly as possible as he looked at her eyes- "So I’ll schedule plane tickets to be with you."

- "And your work?"

- "You are more important than my job. I can’t be like this anymore, we are gonna finish the movie in two weeks, and after that, my only job will be to clap after every song you play"- Joey smiled, feeling her heart swell with love, as a few more tears fell from her eyes.

- "You are making me so happy."

- "My plans for as long as I live exactly."

Mikey and Gerard were laid watching tv. Mikey kept surfing channels while Gerard sipped his diet coke and scrolled down his Twitter timeline. Neither of them felt like talking, pretty much ‘cos they were tired, and after being so many weeks stuck together, there wasn’t much new to say.

- "Weird!"- Mikey chuckled as they caught a Criminal Minds episode and Matthew as Spencer Reid appeared on screen- "I never thought I’d friend this guy."

- "Why did you do that? he is an asshole"- Gerard simply answered and kept his eyes stuck on the phone.

- "He’s not an asshole. He is hilarious. You’d like him if you met him."

- "Not interested"- Mikey frowned and kept surfing channels- "Wow, I thought you were going to watch your boyfriend’s show."

- "Wow, very mature, Gerard."

- "Sorry"- the singer knew he had crossed the line, mostly ‘cos he shouldn’t show how much he hated Matthew because…

- "Why do you hate him so much?"- because Mikey could start asking questions, and he didn’t want to talk.

- "I don’t hate him. He is not my friend, which is very different."

- "And Joey is not your friend either"- Mikey added- "You never talk to her."

- "She never talks to me"- Gerard added, and his voice betrayed him, showing some bitterness in his words.

- "Well, maybe because you didn’t want her in the band."

- "It’s been months. Get over it."

- "Now that I think about it, you are not even close to her at all…"

- "You are way too close to her, close enough for the two of us"- Gerard spit those words, still not looking at his brother.

- "What? Are you jealous or something?"

- "No!"- he snorted- "Why? Should I?"

- "I don’t know. You are being an asshole."

- "I’m just tired…"- Gerard came up with the worst excuse ever

- "Ok, if you are tired, I’ll leave you to sleep, dude, you are not what I call a pleasure to hang out with anyway"- Mikey stood up and walked to the door- "See you tomorrow at the plane."

Mikey left the room, and Gerard groaned, annoyed. He grabbed the remote control and surfed the channels until he found Criminal Minds again. He just wanted to see Matthew’s face to hate him even more.

- "What’s so special about this asshole? He is just a pretty boy, no talent, definitely no acting skills… He is tall. That’s all he has in his favor"- Gerard was arguing with the television out loud.

- "I mean… it’s clear he is not as smart as his character, and he ain’t funny either, shit! I bet he hasn’t done anything but this stupid tv show and those 3 minutes in the Wes Anderson movie."

Gerard opened google and searched for information about Matthew Gray Gubler, just to make sure he was a loser. He hated to know he wasn’t, though Gerard thought everything he had done had been pathetic so far. Everything but proposing Joey. And that was what Gerard hated the most. It was sick, and he knew it, that obsession he had about that girl, the one he couldn’t have. He just couldn’t take the idea of being with her out of his mind. Why? Was it because obviously, she didn’t want him? Many girls hadn’t wanted him before. Why was this one killing him slowly?

- "Oh fuck!"- Gerard nearly shook with his coke when he saw a picture of Matthew’s birthday- "Oh man!! I knew you were too good for my girl!!"- Gerard wanted to jump when he saw a picture of Matthew making out with a girl and the comment: “Matthew Gray Gubler birthday, 2011”.

- "You are going down!!"

::: Munich, March 10th, 2011 :::

Ray and Joey walked out of a Krispy Kremes at the airport, waiting for their flight to Valencia, holding a huge box of freshly made donuts. Joey was in heaven, and Ray was laughing at how excited she was about coffee and sugar.

- "Touring with you and Mikey together has been the best training to be a dad one day"- the guitarist said, chuckling.

- "Are you planning on having babies, dad?"

- "Yeah, it’s something me and Christa have talked about a few times. I want to wait until life gets a little bit less… messy ‘cos I wanna be with her the whole way and enjoy our babies."

- "Oh, dad, you are so cute"- the girl pout and punched his arm- "I want babies too, but I don’t think it will happen soon."

- "Why?"

- "Well, ‘cos I guess I want to wait until I have a steady job first."

- "And what is this for you?"- Toro gesticulated.

- "I’m your drummer for the tour Ray. The tour will end at some point, though it seems endless right now, and I will have to look for another job. And what if I get another tour drummer job? I’m gonna have to travel again. When am I going to be home with my husband to make and raise a baby?"

- "Well… after the tour you could be our studio drummer too, and you can stay in Los Angeles with Matthew and start making babies"- the girl chuckled at those words, though she liked the idea- "You should name your firstborn Ray though, I’ll put that in the contract"- both of them laughed and reached their gate.

- "Kids! Sugar!"- Joey’s smile shone as she gave Frank and Mikey the donuts box.

Gerard looked at her and sighed, thinking he wanted to tell her what he knew about Matthew, but it hurt him to know how much damage it was going to mean for her

- "Hey, Gerard!"- she snapped her fingers in front of him- "This one has your name on it. I figured you’d like a cappuccino cream donut."

- "Thank you"- he felt his cheeks blushing as he held the donut and smiled at Joey- "Sugar low?"

- "Yeah, my body needs some fuel to work until we reach the next hotel, and I can sleep some more."

- "Why? You didn’t sleep well last night?"- Gerard bit his donut and stared at Joey’s cheek turning red.

- "No, I stayed up talking with Matthew until three am."

- "Wow… really? Everything ok?"- Gerard’s heart beat a little faster with those words. She wouldn’t be so happy if she knew what Gubler was doing behind her back. Or did she not care? No, it was more likely she had no idea.

- "Yeah, we just miss each other a lot, and it was his birthday. I wanted to spend as much time with him as possible, even on FaceTime."

- "His birthday!"- Gerard nodded- "Right, so he didn’t party or whatever?“Smooth dude, good”

- "He did, the night before with some friends from work, he was kind of hungover"- Joey smiled again- "So last night was our moment to celebrate."

- "Dude, please. I don’t wanna picture you and Matthew having phone sex"- Frankie showed up and grabbed Joey’s coffee- "I mean, you, that I can imagine, but him… not so much."

- "Jersey!!"- the girl frowned and smacked him.

- "What?!"

- "Stop being disgusting!"- he chuckled, and she took her coffee back from his hands

- "We all knew what you meant when you said you “stayed up talking with Matthew until three am”- Iero air quoted and laughed again- "We’ve all been there, I’ve been there like three times in the latest weeks."

- "Come on!!!"- Joey smacked him again and walked away. Frank kept laughing for a few seconds and finished his donut.

- "Hey guys, come closer"- Gerard whispered as he noticed Joey had walked away, probably to the bathroom- "I need to tell you something."

- "What?"- Mikey raised an eyebrow as he moved closer ‘cos his brother had whispered.

- "Last night, I was on Twitter, and this picture of Gubler appeared… he… he cheated on Joey at his birthday party."

Gerard had prepared the speech to make sure no one would ever know he had been looking for information about Gubler and saved the picture as proof.

- "What the fuck?"- Mikey grabbed the phone from his brother’s hand and took a look at the picture.

- "Are you sure that’s him?"- Ray moved closer and took a long look at the picture.

- "Yeah! It’s him! He cheated on the party Joey told us he had with his friends"- Mikey was in shock. He walked away and closed his eyes, thinking about Joey and how she would take the news. Frank was so mad. He wanted to kill that guy. He also walked away and murmured curses for a minute straight. Ray couldn’t believe it, and his only concern at the moment was:

- "We have to tell her"

- "How can we tell her that?!"- Mikey pointed at the phone- "We are gonna break her!"

- "He broke her!"- Gerard argued- "He is the one who fucked it up! We are her friends, and we have to let her know what’s going on"- the band stayed quiet, neither of them knowing what to say.

- "Hey kids!"- Joey appeared suddenly smiling- "Why did you all get all serious? Did something happen?"

- "Yeah"- Gerard said, and Frank quickly interrupted him.

- "I ate the last donut and didn’t share it"- the girl raised an eyebrow.

- "Bullshit."

- "No, Gerard wanted it, and it seems I tend to hoard all the sweets…"- Joey frowned at that nonsense.

- "You do"- Mikey supported his lie flawlessly- "You always eat more than us!"

- "Ok… sure…"- Joey walked to a chair and looked at her phone. Mikey turned to his brother and punched his arm.

- "Not here! Don’t be an asshole! We wait until we are in the hotel! You can’t do this in public!"- Gerard felt like an ass. His brother was right. He was so desperate to end that relationship he wasn’t thinking straight.

He wanted to end a relationship that wasn’t even his. What had he turned into? A cold-blooded asshole who craved a girl so much, he was willing to ruin her life to get a chance to be with her?

Mikey was playing with his fingers nonstop. He just wanted to get out of the plane and avoid Joey for a long while. He was thankful the girl was sound asleep next to him ‘cos he knew he wouldn’t be able to pretend things were cool and peachy. Mikey knew he was a lousy liar. He wasn’t going to act like everything was good.

- "Hey"- Frank waved and pointed to the back of the plane. Mikey stood up and followed him, there Ray and Gerard were waiting for them.

- "What is it?"

- "We have to talk about what happened. When are we going to tell her?"- Gerard said, and the four of them looked at each other in silence for a few seconds- "I know it’s crap, but we can’t leave her in the dark about it… can we?"

- "No man"- Frank said and took a look around, scared the girl might see or hear them- "But… she is gonna be a mess, and I don’t wanna feel like we did this to her."

- "He did this to her"- Gerard quickly replied- "This whole shit is his fault."

- "Gubler should tell her"- Iero added. He didn’t feel like he could do such harm to her friend. He was going to harm Gubler, but not Joey.

- "He won’t do that, Frank"- Ray said- "But… I don’t want to be a cold bitch here, but we’ve got the Valencia show in two days, and that shit will be televised… if we tell her… and she wants to leave…"

- "Dude, we can’t wait that long"- Gerard interrupted him.

- "Why not?"- Ray asked, and Way didn’t reply. His honest answer was: “Because I wanna hold her tight and tell her “everything is gonna be ok” as soon as possible. And I also want to ruin Matthew’s life in the shortest notice”.

- "Because if she finds out that we knew and we didn’t tell her, we are gonna pay. She is gonna think we betrayed her"- Mikey answered instead of Gerard, ‘cos he had a reasonable answer.

- "You are right"- Ray nodded- "And that would be hell"- the four of them nodded.

- "So? Tonight?"- Frank asked- "We should get her something…"

- "Like what? Flowers?"- Gerard asked, confused.

- "Like alcohol, chocolate, chick flicks"- Mikey frowned at his brother- "So you never helped a friend when her boyfriend dumped her?"- and Gerard stayed still- "Wow, you can’t cease to amaze me."

- "I didn’t have many girlfriends back in the days"- Gerard explained.

- "Whatever…"

- "Ok, so after dinner, we go to her room"- Frank finished, and they all accepted- "Ok, now let me go to the bathroom ‘cos I need to take a piss, come on, move it."

Ray looked around his room and sighed. He had called Christa and told her what was going on. He felt responsible for Joey’s wellbeing, and at that moment, he was scared of what would happen. His wife was in shock. She couldn’t believe Matthew had done such a thing. She even doubted it was real.

- "Are you sure that the picture isn’t photoshopped?"

- "Yeah!"

- "Really?"- Ray doubted

- "Well, it looked very real to me"

- "Why don’t you ask him?"

- "Yes, honey! He is going to come clean right away!"

- "I mean it, baby! Maybe it wasn’t a party, maybe it was a scene from his coming up film out of context, maybe it was a bad angle."

- "Christa, the tongue of two women were liking him at the very same time unless he is doing porn, there is no way that’s from his upcoming movie!"- Ray made a point, and his wife’s silence made it clear. Now he was walking in circles, trying to set his mind straight. He had never done this before, and shit, he didn’t want to.

The guitarist grabbed the Pride and Prejudice blu ray he had gotten that afternoon and sighed. It was time. He walked out to the hall and into the elevator. Just outside of Joey’s room, he bumped into Mikey and Frank. One held a paper bag with some chocolates and candies, and the other, a whiskey bottle. Of course, the whiskey guy was Iero.

- "Should we wait for Gerard?"- Ray asked

- "Nah"- Frank knocked and waited- "He is always late."

- "And you are always so on time"- Mikey joked and chuckled.

- "Hey! Ready for that movie?"- Joey opened the door smiling- "Say hello to Matthew!!"- the girl flipped her phone, and her boyfriend waved at the band.

- "Hey guys"- but neither of them smiled at him.

- "We are gonna watch a movie"- Joey turned and walked back- "I’ll call you in a while, ok?"

- "Sure, Yami. I love you so much!"

- "I love you more!"

- "Have fun"- Joey hung down and looked at her friends, narrowing her eyes, upset- "What the fuck is your problem?"

- "Bug, we need to talk"- the knock on the door interrupted Mikey, but Frank walked over quickly and opened it.

- "We are starting. What did you bring?"- Gerard frowns at that questions

- "You weren’t kidding? We had to bring something? Like a birthday party?"

- "Shit, you are an asshole"- Frank just shook his head.

- "Mikey, Ray? What is it?"- the girl sat on her bed, leg crossed, as Mikey sat next to her and held her hand.

- "Turns out we’ve got some news for you."

- "Am I fired?"- she wide opened her eyes in shock- "I am, right? Fuck I knew this was gonna happen eventually."

- "No, Bug, you are not fired"- Ray sat next to Mikey and smiled- "We are more than happy to have you here, and we would love to have you with us forever."

- "Yeah, Iceland, you are one of us now. Deal with the fact you are doomed"- Frank said and moved closer to the girl to mess with her hair.

- "Then?"- she asked and looked at the four worried faces in front of her- "What is it? ‘Cos it seems serious."

None of them knew how to say it, though each of them had practiced it in front of the mirror. And Gerard, the one who was anxious to say it, suddenly felt the remorse of being the one to break it on Joey’s face. He knew it had to happen, though. That didn’t make it less sad.

- "Joey, last night I found this picture of Gubler’s birthday party on Twitter"- the singer simply said and gave her his phone.

Mikey closed his eyes, and Frank looked down. Neither of them was able to face the girl at the moment. Joey just stared at the screen in silence for at least a minute, holding her breath. There he was, Matthew. Cheating. What she thought was impossible happened. And the most profound pain she could feel took over her body second by second.

Her world fell down. She couldn’t believe it. Matthew was kissing his ex-girlfriend. She recognized her right away, the other girl, she had no idea who she was.

He betrayed her trust. He destroyed her heart, she could feel it breaking inside her chest, with deep aching pain, and it didn’t let her breathe. She wanted everybody out of the room to cry alone. She wanted to smash Gerard’s phone against the wall. And most of all, she wanted to find an explanation, maybe an excuse for that fucking image. It was to be a lie. Matthew would never do that. Never. Thoughts kept rolling down her head. It was a lie. It had to be. Maybe a fan photoshopped it. Perhaps it was old. Maybe it wasn’t Gubs, just a lookalike.

- "Joey…"- Mikey whispered- "Are you ok?"

- "Is that the only picture you saw?"- the girl asked with a cold tone in her voice.

- "No"- Gerard murmured and frowned as he noticed the lack of emotion in Joey’s face

- "Can you send me the pictures, please?"- her voice was turning shaky while she made an effort to stay calm.

Joey hated to cry, and overall, she hated to cry in front of people. She hated when people pitied her, and at the moment, it was all she was feeling coming from her friends. Pity.

- "Bug, it is ok to be sad"- Mikey said and held her hand tight.

- "I’m not sad, I’m mad"- her eyes were filled with tears she refused to cry. Her jaws felt tight. She didn’t even want to talk anymore.

- "Hey, we are here- Ray kneeled in front of Joey and tucked away some of her hair that was falling on her face. He kept his brown eyes in hers, locked, trying to read her reaction. He realized how much she was trying to hold back. He knew his friend pretty well, and he could tell how embarrassed she was to share this with everybody. So he whispered:

- "Joey, do you want to be alone for a little while?"- and she quickly nodded, biting the inside of her cheeks.

- "Dude, we can’t leave her alone!"- Gerard immediately said and hit his friend’s arm. But Ray didn’t leave Joey’s eyes, not even for a second, and she did the same.

- "No, she is going to be ok, we are going to leave her alone for a while, and I am going to take her key, is that ok, Joey?"- the girl nodded again- "Ok, so I’ll take your key. I’ll come back in an hour to see if you need anything, ok?"

Joey couldn’t even say a word, so she nodded one last time and looked at Ray stand up.

- "Dude? What the fuck?"- Gerard was in shock, but Mikey understood immediately what Ray was doing.

- "I love you"- the youngest Way whispered and kissed Joey’s cheek. She got even tenser at his touch. She felt she was going to break into tears if anyone else touched her. So she refused to hug anybody.

- "Bug, if you need a drink, I left your favorite whiskey on the table… I’ll stop by later to have a shot with you, ok?"- Frank whispered and cut her a short smile. She nodded and watched them walk away. Gerard didn’t want to move, he took a few steps closer and opened his arms, but Joey quickly moved from him and frowned, like a frightened cat trying to escape from everything and everybody.

- "Gerard, leave her, she is ok"- Ray grabbed Gerard’s arm and pushed him- "I’ll come back in an hour, Bug"- the girl watched them walking to the door, Gerard kept looking back at her, concerned and scared she wasn’t going to be ok on her own.

- "Dude, this is wrong"- he argued the second they closed the door- "We can’t leave her there! It’s not safe!"- and just then, Joey’s yells crying froze the four of them- "Give me the key!"- Gerard argued and tried to take it from Ray’s pocket.

- "No! She needs to be on her own! She needs to cry, and she is never going to cry in front of us!"

- "What the fuck do you know?"- the singer questioned obfuscated.

- "Calm down, Gee. Ray is right"- Mikey said and sighed- "Joey needs to be alone, she ain’t going to kill herself, she just needs to yell and cry, and probably call that mother fucker and break up with him."

- "Yeah, come on"- Frank tapped on Gerard’s back and started walking- "Let’s get a beer, smoke a cigarette, and we can come back in a while. Ray has the key, so we know she won’t lock herself alone."

Gerard hated his friends at that moment. He had to be there for her, hold her, kiss her, console her. What the fuck was he doing with those guys? She needed him. He had to be with her. Why were they doing this?

- "So you don’t care?"- Gerard squabbled, and Mikey simply sighed.

- "You don’t know how she is like…"- and his brother’s words were enough to insult Gerard and shut him up.

Joey was on her knees on the floor, crying. Gasping for air every few seconds and feeling how every tear in her body came out at the same time. There was a void in her chest, right where it used to be her heart. Matthew Gray Gubler broke her heart. He broke her. All the fears she had locked inside ‘cos Matthew made her trust were now out again, and a voice in the back of her head kept telling her, “You knew this was going to happen if you were stupid enough to trust someone.”

But he was so good for her. How could he do that? Was it something she had done? Was it because she wasn’t there? You can’t be stuck with somebody to keep them from cheating. You don’t cheat. If you are not happy, you break up.

Joey felt sick in her stomach and had to rush to the bathroom. She puked crying, she couldn’t stop doing either of them. She kept choking with tears as she vomited. Until it was done. She flushed and stayed there, on the bathroom floor, crying and shaking in sadness. In fear. In disappointment.

What was she going to do? She had to break up with him. She couldn’t marry a cheater, and she wasn’t going to trust him ever again. Two fucking girls at the same time. What if he had done it before and got caught just now? For how long had he been doing that? What if she was seeing other girls regularly?

- "I knew this was going to happen. You don’t date a guy like that and expect him to be faithful…"- the girl whispered to herself, weeping- "He had nothing to do with a girl like me. Take a look at yourself, you dumb slut!"

Joey never said it out loud. She never let herself think about it. She refused to accept the fact she was weak. She had always hated herself. She felt she wasn’t worthy of anything good. All the years in the orphanage had left more than scars on her skin. They were also in her mind. You don’t spend years watching kids leaving with families and don’t convince yourself you are not good enough to be picked, to be happy. And when a family picks you up, you think it’s not you. It’s pity.

Sure, you can cover it up. You can be serious. You can stay away emotionally from people. You can find shelter in music and hide from the world in it. You can kick people’s ass when they hurt you or insult you. You can lie and say you are not “a people person,” whatever that means. But none of that can erase the fact that you feel alone, unwanted. Worthless.

- "I wanna call this mother fucker and fucking yell at him the kind of scumbag he is!!"- Frank said as he lit another cigarette and took a look at his watch- "She has been alone for half an hour, do you think she is ok?"

- "Of course, she is not ok, but she has to handle it. She is a grown woman"- Ray answered and sipped his beer.

- "I can’t believe he did this to her"- Mikey whispered- "She, of all the women I’ve known, doesn’t deserve to be treated like this."

A few tears filled his eyes, and he quickly wiped them off, lighting a cigarette too.

- "I’m gonna kill him, as soon as we get home, I’m gonna kill this mother fucker. I’ve got his fucking address, I’m gonna get there, and fucking break every bone in his body with my own hands"- Mikey was losing his cool. He stood up and walked around the hotel’s terrace, and looked at the city lighten in front of him. Frank stared at his friends and stood up too.

- "I’m with you, but we can’t be like this in front of her."

- "I know"- Mikey scratched his head and smoked in silence for a few seconds- "I’m not doing press tomorrow,"- he announced- "I’m staying with her all day long."

- "You can’t just…"- but Gerard’s words were lost in the air knowing his brother wasn’t asking, he was letting them know what he was doing.

- "Maybe we could take turns"- Frankie thought out loud- "You stay with her in the morning, Ray stays with her after lunch, and so on"- they all nodded. Gerard felt excited there was a chance he was going to get time alone with her.

- "Let’s see if she approves it first"- Ray said, and Mikey smiled for a second. He could picture Joey arguing she was ok, and him simply just staying with her, not taking no for an answer. She was going to be pissed.

- "Can we please check on her?"- Gerard tried to ask, but in real life, it sounded like he was begging- "I’m worried"- Ray sighed and took a look at his clock

- "Thirty more minutes"

- "Why at the hour?"- the eldest Way questioned

- "‘Cos she has to put her shit together before we come back, and she knows we’ll come back in an hour."

Joey walked around her room, holding a glass of whiskey. Her third glass of whiskey. Her phone was in her hand, and her finger was about to push “dial.”

- "You can do this"- she said to herself. She had cleaned her face, wiped off all the tears, combed her hair, and taken a long time calming herself down. More than anything, she didn’t want Matthew to see her cry. She couldn’t show any weakness to him.

She knew she would never be fully ready to do this, but if not now, when? So she dialed.

- "Hey Yami!! How’s the movie? Is it over yet?"- Matthew’s face filled the screen, and Joey needed a few seconds to put herself together again. His face was too much to handle. She still loved him too much to see him after what had just happened. Maybe FaceTime hadn’t been the best idea.

- "You cheated on me"- she managed to say. Matthew’s heart stopped- "It’s all over Twitter!!! You fucking cheated on me, and you just pretended it was all perfect??!"

Gubler sat on his couch and looked at his mom, who was next to him, reading. She slowly stood up and walked to the other room. He kept his eyes on Joey’s face and held his breath. Why did he think he could hide it from her? Now, what was he going to say? Was he going to deny it? Could he?

- "Yami, I..."

- "Don’t fucking Yami me, Matt"- she spit the last word with disdain, ‘cos she knew how much he hated being called that way- "You lied, you cheated, and you ruined everything!"

- "Joey, please, listen to me"- the young man stood up and started walking around the room, not knowing what to do or what to say.

- "What should I listen to? Do you think you can talk your way out of this?"- Matthew brushed his hand on his face and scratched his hair, confused and scared.

- "Joey, listen, I was drunk. It didn’t mean anything."

- "What? So being drunk is the perfect excuse for me to accept the fact your ex-girlfriend’s tongue was down your throat, and with another girl too? What the fuck?!"

- "Joey, it didn’t mean anything! It was a mistake!"

- "A “mistake”? How many “mistakes” have you made ever since I left? Tell me."

- "Please, Joey, listen to me. I was drunk, they started dancing, and they kissed me and…"

- "And you fucking took them home and fucked the two of them at the fucking same time. I can picture that very clear, the same fucking bed you said you wanted me to be in."

- "Joey! No!! That’s not what happened!"

- "Then enlighten me, Matthew. Tell me, what the fuck happened?"

Gubler sighed and bit his lips. He didn’t want to tell her, but he knew he had to. She was going to find out the truth one way or another. Maybe if he came clean with her, she would understand. He loved her. She knew that. It was a mistake, a horrible mistake, but it didn’t mean a thing, anything at all.

- "We were at the party, and you called… we talked, and I decided to go home."

- "Sure"- she interrupted sarcastically.

- "Listen, I wanted to go home ‘cos I missed you, but Mark found me and got me a couple of drinks. I was super drunk already when Ann appeared."

- "So you had invited her?"

- "No! No way! I had no idea she was there!"

- "But you got thrilled to see her."

- "I didn’t care! Joey, please, believe me. I was just drunk and stupid, but it didn’t mean a thing!"

- "You fucked her!!"

- "I didn’t fuck neither of them!"

- "There are pictures!! Pictures of you and her and… you were leaving together"

- "We didn’t fuck! Joey, I swear!!"

- "Sorry, but I can’t believe you! I can’t believe a word that’s coming from your lips!"

- "Joey, Yami, baby, love… I swear, I didn’t fuck with them"

- "Then what happened?"

Joey was severe and cold. She had managed not to cry so far, and that made her feel proud. She was devastated and nearly suicidal inside, but she wasn’t going to give Matthew the pleasure of seeing her destroyed because of him. Not that day.

- "Joey… nothing happened."

- "Matthew, if you are going to lie, and I discover that you did…"

- "Ann took me to the back room and decided she wanted to give me a birthday present, so she..." - Joey closed her eyes and threw the phone to the bed.

- "Hijo de la gran puta!! (son of a bitch!!)"- she managed to yell, losing it for a second.

- "It was just a blowjob. Nothing else happened, I swear, Joey! and I stopped her!"- Matthew broke in tears as Joey walked around the room, poured herself another whiskey, and looked at the phone still on her bed.

- "Just a blowjob??! Just a blowjob, Matthew?? Do you fucking believe that shit??"

- "Joey, it meant nothing!!! I didn’t want to do it!!"

- "Bullshit!!"- Joey grabbed the phone again and cut him a look so full of hate Matthew knew he was losing her second by second.

- "Yami, please, I hate myself too, and there’s nothing I wouldn’t give to undo this!! I was too drunk! I thought it was you, and when I saw her, I stopped it"- Joey scoffed and bit her lips to stop the tears- "I regret everything that happened, it was stupid, and it meant nothing, I fucking love you, Joey, you are my bride! you are my love and my whole life!"

- "No"- she quickly replied.

- "Joey, please."

- "No, Matthew. I am not your bride, and I am not your life, not anymore. I am merely the girl you fucking broke and lied to."

- "Please, please try to understand, it wasn’t me, it was a mistake! I didn’t mean it!!"

- "But it happened, Matthew, and that’s it. You can’t undo it."

- "Please, please! you have to forgive me."

- "Why should I forgive you, Matthew? ‘Cos I love you? Is that enough?"- the girl stopped talking, ‘cos her eyes were filled with tears, and she was still making her best not to cry in front of him. But it was getting too hard. Nearly impossible.

- "Joey, please don’t leave me"- the boy begged, his voice as a whisper at the other side of the line. He was crying like a baby, sobbing and walking around his house, not knowing what to do- "Yami, I need you"- every word that came from his lips cracked each of her already shattered heart into another tiny piece.

- "You should have thought of that before, shouldn’t you?"- the girl answered coldly- "You know how much it took me to trust you, Matthew, how much it took me to give you my heart, to you, for the very fucking first time in my life."

- "Please, please… give me another chance…"- he was sobbing, and Joey couldn’t hold it anymore. She broke into tears in front of him as well.

He looked at her, still thinking there was a chance she could forgive him. He didn’t mean to hurt her. It was a mistake. He loved her. She knew it. What did he have to do to change her mind? To keep her by his side.

- "No"- Joey answered, whimpering- "There are no second chances, Matthew."

- "Please, Joey, I am so so so sorry!"

- "Being sorry doesn’t fix anything."

- "I love you"

- "You didn’t care about that when she sucked your dick, did you?"- Joey managed to say, drying the tears from her eyes- "You just fucking enjoyed it, and fucked with my feelings, ‘cos I wasn’t supposed to know."

- "I love you so much"

- "So what?"- she simply answered- "So I should forgive you ‘cos you love me?"

- "I’d do anything for you."

- "You should have started by not cheating."

Joey took a deep breath and looked at Gubler sobbing at the other side of the line, desperate, honestly desperate

- "Bye, Matthew."

- "No, Joey! Wait! Don’t!"

But that was all Joey could handle. She threw the phone back to her bed and fell on the floor, crying her eyes out again. It was too much for her; she wasn’t going to make this alive. Joey loved him so much, but Matthew had damaged her to the edge of sanity. She was proud she had managed the situation mostly cold-headed. She wanted him. She wanted to forgive him so badly. But she couldn’t. She wasn’t going to believe him ever again.

- "Bug?"- Ray opened the door and found her lying on the bed. Mikey ran to her and held her. She wasn’t crying anymore. She looked in shock. He almost broke into tears next to her, not knowing what to do. She merely blinked. She wasn’t talking. She just laid there, curl up, almost lifeless. Barely alive.

Mikey hugged her tight, lying next to her, trying to keep her warm, ‘cos she kept shaking. Frank wiped off the tears from his eyes as he turned around and poured himself a whiskey.

Gerard looked at the scene from a safe distance while Ray tried to talk to Joey, and Frank started drinking, trying not to show how insanely angry he was. Gerard felt like shit. He didn’t think it would affect him so much. But suddenly, he was feeling guilty. Honestly and deeply guilty. He was the one who found out. He was the one who was eager to tell her. He was the one who told her. And an hour ago, he was excited about it, ‘cos it meant she wasn’t going to be with Matthew anymore. But he was so selfish he never stopped himself from thinking what was going to happen to her. How it was going to affect her. And Gerard felt now like a monster.

- "I’m ok kids"- Joey whispered and cut Ray a slight smile- "I’m just tired."

- "Do you want something to eat?"- he asked, but she shook her head- "I’m gonna leave these chocolates here, ok?"

- "Thank you…"- Mikey kissed the top of her head and snuggled her closer. Her phone kept ringing on the floor. Frank quickly grabbed it. It already had five missing calls from Matthew.

- "This mother fucker is gonna…"

- "Please don’t"- but Joey’s words were useless, Frank picked up, ignoring her.

- "Joey!"- Gubler yelled at the other side of the line.

- "Don’t you fucking dare calling her again!!"- Frank yelled with hate- "You are not getting close to her. You are not talking to her. You are dead! Heard me? You are dead to her, and if you fucking get close to her, I am gonna fucking kill you, heard me? I’m gonna kill you!!"

Frank didn’t even let him reply. He hung down and turned off the phone.

- "Why did you do that?"- Joey whispered and took a deep breath.

- "I’m not gonna let that guy hurt you again"- Frank murmured as he kneeled by the bed and kissed her temple sweetly- "Never, I’m not gonna let him make you cry or break your heart again, ok?"

Frank’s words were so full of honesty and emotion, even his voice shook. Tears fell from his eyes, and Joey stared at him in shock. He cared that much for her. It was shocking to realize how much they all cared for her.

- "Thank you, Frank"- he smiled

- "Hey, whatever you need"- he smiled shyly- "Now make room"- the girl and Mikey moved, as Frank crawled on the bed next to her. He wrapped an arm around her and kissed the top of her head as Mikey laid at the other side of her, still cuddling her.

Gerard stared at the scene and wondered how they could just do that, it was what he wanted to do, but he could not move from where he was standing.

- "Wanna watch a movie?"- Ray grabbed the remote control- "Let’s see what we can find"- he knew Pride and Prejudice wasn’t right for the moment, so he tried to find the most random movie he could in pay per view. Die Hard was the chosen one. He and Gerard laid on the bed with the others and didn’t say another word. The girl wanted to be alone, but she knew they weren’t going to let her. It felt good in a way, knowing they cared about her and wanted to be with her at that dark moment.

Matthew was crying, sitting on his bed. He didn’t seem to be able to stop the tears from falling. He held the phone and dialed over and over again. It was off. The wedding was off. His whole life was off at that point. He had made the biggest mistake, and now he knew he couldn’t fix it. But he had to. He wanted to.

- "Yami, please, I’m so sorry"- he talked with her voicemail- "I need you to forgive me, I didn’t mean it, I didn’t want to, it was a mistake"- the call ended, he dialed again- "Yami, I can’t live without you, I can’t, I swear, please, I’m so sorry, I’d do anything you want, anything, but please, please"- the call ended, he dialed again- "Please… Joey, I love you so much, I need you so much, I..."

- "Honey"- his mother whispered as she walked into his room and found him weeping on the phone.

- "She left me, mom"- he whispered and felt her arms around him- "She broke up with me"- he couldn’t say another word ‘cos the tears, and the sobbing didn’t let him talk. His mother kissed his temple and hugged him tightly.

- "You are gonna fix this, baby. It’s gonna be ok."

- "How?"- he managed to murmur.

- "She loves you so much, she is going to forgive you. I know she will."

- "I hurt her mom. She doesn’t deserve this... I don’t deserve her… she is an angel, and I ruined it"- Matthew couldn’t say another word. He just hid his head on his mother’s neck and cried.

Taglist

@all-tings-diego @worryd0ll

#Gerard Way #Matthew gray gubler #mgg angst #mikey way #frank iero #ray toro #mcr #mgg #babymetaldoll writes

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thewritingace · 2 years

Text

APRIL 2022 Update

Hello everyone! Welcome to my sixth ever writeblr update, my first quarterly one.

ɢᴇɴᴇʀᴀʟ

First of all: quarterly updates was definitely the right call. I was way too busy to focus on writing for the first months of the year. There was a lot going on. Life do be like that sometimes. Thankfully things have settled down now so I can finally focus more on my creative work. Thanks for sticking around!

ᴜᴘᴅᴀᴛᴇꜱ

Let’s check in on those goals I set and how well I accomplished them!

1. Continue working on Kaibutsu Class until I have enough content to post something.

So far I haven’t made enough progress on it yet, this one’s a fail.

2. Create character introduction for the Artifice main characters.

This one has been in the works for a while, but I’m stuck on writing engaging blurbs for these. A fail.

3. Introduce at least 1 new WIP I’m actually working on.

This one was successful! I did a short overview for both “Bad Apples” and “Cataegis”.

4. Finish another Bitter poem and post it.

That one didn’t happen. Poetry is difficult, honestly, and this collection lies very close my heart. I’m not surprised that I wasn’t in the headspace to work on it at all.

5. Post some actual writing excerpts (perhaps participating in Sunday Six?).

Unfortunately I still haven’t broken through the barrier that keeps me from actually starting my first drafts. Though I feel like I’m close.

Overall I achieved one out of five goals. Not a stellar record, but it’s to be expected, given how turbulent the last months were. Additionally, this is the first time I’ve set writing goals, and already figured they might not work out that well. At least this gives me some idea on what to change up to make sure I can hit my goals the next time! I’m choosing self-compassion here. Being hard on myself will not make me work harder or better. I’ll regroup and try again next quarter.

Finally finish the main character introductions for Artifice. (These posts still sit half-finished in my drafts and it’s driving me crazy.)

Start drafting for Kaibutsu Class. (This one’s more concrete than the last goal, which was way too vague. If drafting doesn’t go well, maybe I‘ll have to go back and focus on worldbuiling or character creation instead, but I absolutely need to try first to figure it out.)

Post at least 1 excerpt per month, even if it’s bad. (A more specific goals yet again, because those are easier to actualize. I need to stop worrying so much about my writing being good and just start writing. The first draft is not going to be great but I’ll never get to the second draft if I don’t finish the first one.)

We’ll only stick with 3 goals for now. If I do more that’s great, but let’s set the bar low. You’ll notice that these goals are the same as my previous goals 1,2 and 5, just reformulate to be more specific. I still want to do these things, so I’ll try again for this quarter, with a better mindset.

That’s it for now! Short and sweet, keeping it simple. Thank you for reading!

General Tag List (for Update posts and new WIP Intros, let me know if you want to be added):

@strosmkai-rum | @artbyeloquent | @yami-kada

#writeblr #writers on tumblr #wip update #monthly update

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thoughtfullyrainynightmare · 2 years

Text

So, the OC oneshot request for @hybridanafrost with her OC Odette and Zora.

They were out on a mission, but wound up soaked through while falling into a lake, and had to cuddle for warmth. And there’s *gasp* only one bed

Pairing: Odette Dumont (OC; not mine) x Zora (CC)

Genre: fluff/slice of life

Length: ~1.3k

Warnings: nudity due to having to get out of soaked clothes, romantic tension, mention of scars, mutual pining

“It’s a good thing they had a room left,” Zora sighed while opening the door to the last room of the inn.

He had been on a mission with Odette, a childhood friend of Yami, and a current member of the Black Bulls, just like him. But they had been forced to seek shelter, after Zora had to fish Odette out of an icy lake, since she followed a wild beast that had been terrorizing nearby villages onto thin ice.

“Y-yeah..” Odette replied, shaking like a leaf while hugging her sides. Her clothes were soaked through. Both of their clothes were soaked through.

The innkeeper had stated that he’d draw a bath for them, but it’d take a while since in a rural area such as the one they were in, they’d have to warm water the old fashion way. So, for now they were forced to find warmth in the confines of the room they had been supplied.

“And of course there is only one bed,” he announced, with a voice that was filled something that sounded like sarcasm. Only that it wasn’t. There indeed was only one bed.

If Odette hadn’t been shivering out of her mind, she would have been blushing. But now… it was almost like even the train of her thought had frozen over as well.

Zora sighed again, rubbing the back of his head, feeling the pricking of his hair. At least its frost had started melting a little.

“You can undress first. I’ll turn around until you’re under covers,” he said, turning his back to Odette and the bed.

“U-unnndresss?! A-are yo-u inn-sa-ane?!” She uttered, trying to get the words out despite the rattling of her jaw; her teeth clicking against each other.

“Look… your clothes are soaked through, the same as mine. We travelled gods know how long to get here, we’ve already lost so much body heat that it’s only sensible to get out of these clothes,” he reasoned.

Her jaw clenched, even more than it already did from the cold, because she didn’t like the idea. She knew that he was correct. It was reasonable to get out of the wet clothes, and under warm bedcovers. It was. He was being sensible about it.

But. She still didn’t like it.

“Yo-u pro-promise that yu won’t look?” She asked, shivering

“I won’t,” he assured her, turning his back to her again.

She hesitated for a moment, but in the end, got undressed, and climbed under the covers. The soft blanket wrapped around her, and brought warmth to her bones, little by little, but… she was still shivering.

“You ready?” He asked, still keeping his gaze to the wall.

“Yeah…” she muttered, wrapping the blanket more tightly around herself.

“Alright then,” he muttered, starting to take off his own clothes, which made Odette blush. This time she did blush.

She buried her face to the blanket, trying to hide the blush, and to keep herself from seeing Zora. Because damn, even while clothed he walked around with his six pack showing. But… in just a few moments he’d be in the same bed as her, just as naked as her.

Her heart started racing. God damn it… It’s not like I had to go on a mission with him, but now all of this is happening?! I haven’t even… okay maybe it’s better that I haven’t told him yet that I have a crush on him… But just… This is too much! Like the fuck am I supposed to do?!

She felt the bed shift next to her; the sheets ruffled. There was a tug of the blanket.

“Don’t-!” She started, swallowing. “Don’t look at me,” she said. It was bad enough that she wasn’t facing him, that her back was to him, but that they really were… just inches away from each other.

He paused for a moment, as if wondering where it was coming from, the forcefulness of it. She was safely tucked under the covers, at least he thought she was. But… he understood the sentiment.

“And you don’t look at me either,” he replied. “I’m not wearing my mask, so, don’t look at me.”

Seconds ticked between them, but it felt like they had been caught in a river without time. Because the ticking of seconds ceased to be. Instead, she was overtaken by faint amusement. They both had uncovered something on their bodies that they wanted to hide. She wanted to hide the scars on her back, and he wanted to conceal his face.

“Hey… can you keep a secret?” She asked, still lying on her side, her back hidden under the covers that were wrapped around her.

He let out a scoff. “Yeah.. ‘Cause people take one look at me and think that I’m trustworthy,” he said, sarcasm flooding through the syllables.

“Well…” she uttered with a whisper, while wearing a faint smile. “You don’t… talk a lot about yourself. Like… I don’t know that much about you…”

There was a pause, a moment of hesitation, before he spoke again. “Doesn’t mean that I’m trustworthy…” he noted.

“Yami trusts you. I think it’s more than enough…” she replied with a hushed tone.

He let out another scoff, but this one was amused. “You know… you trust too easily.”

“I don’t…” she replied. “But.. umm… I’ll make you a deal.”

“What kind of a deal?”

“I’ll show my back if you show me your face,” she suggested. “It’ll be easier to…”

“Share body heat in order to stay warm if we’re closer?”

“Yeah…”

There was a faint pause that lingered in the air again, as he thought, and she waited.

“Deal…” he finally whispered.

“Okay…” she agreed, taking a deep breath and sitting up, keeping the blanket against her chest, but letting it fall from her back.

She hadn’t been one to cower away before, and this… this wasn’t going to be one of those moments. Even if her heart was pounding. Even if she could feel her breathing getting caught in her throat. Even if she felt tears starting to rise to her eyes. This wasn’t going to be the time where she’d back down. Especially from a deal she herself had suggested.

She felt the bed shift under her again. And she waited, she waited for him to say something.

She wasn’t sure what she was expecting, but it certainly wasn’t what he finally said: “I’m sorry.”

It was such a simple statement. But there was something… something in it. A sense of… grief? Perhaps.

“Thanks…” she replied with a faint smile. “But you don’t need to say that ‘cause you had nothing to do with it so… y’know…” She turned around in her seat, still keeping the blanket tightly against her chest.

He nodded. Just nodded, while gazing down onto the bedsheets, having sat up as well.

But her eyes barely saw the nod, they were too busy inspecting his features, his beautiful blue eyes… the line of his jaw… his lips… Her eyes were too busy taking it all in.

A small giggle left her that made him look at her.

“Hm?”

“Nothing…” she uttered. “I just kinda new there was a pretty face under there… It’s hard to intimidate people with a cute face like that.” She commented in good spirit.

“Yeah, you’d know about that,” he retorted with amusement seeping through his tone.

She could feel heat rising to her cheeks with the statement, and her gaze averted from his.

“You’re even more cute when you blush,” he said, even if it didn’t sound like something he would say.

“M-mmm…”

“Well then…” he uttered, as if trying to break the awkward moment, and lied down onto the bed. “You can… cuddle for warmth when you’re ready,” he continued while averting his eyes.

Odette looked at him for a moment before lying down next to him. For warmth. He really wasn’t a bad guy. Underneath all that leather and a mask, was a really soft, genuinely nice guy.

#oc: odette dumont #bc oc #black clover oneshots #oc x canon #not my oc

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