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Signing Off, 05/02/2021

“Letting go is the easy part. It’s the moving on that’s painful. If I were to go back in time, there are a lot of things I will choose to change. But in the end, I will always choose you, over everything else.” 

It has been almost half a year since we completely stopped talking to each other. No form of communication, at all. It happened so fast yet so gradually. We went from talking non-stop everyday to zero communication. 

During this period of time, there isn’t a day where I stopped thinking about you. There are countless days where I almost wanted to drop you a text but it never happened. I still have our picture in my wallet and whenever I feel defeated by life, I look at it to give me some strength to carry on. You are still so alive in my head and in my heart. You are still, sometimes, the first thought I have when I wake up in the morning.

I think of you when I am commuting and passed by some places where we used to hang out. When I listen to songs such as “Yellow Lights”, “Us” and a lot more, especially “You Complete Me”. I still remember how you sang this song to me and it still warms my heart so much. When I go to a nice restaurant and the food taste great because you are such a glutton. When I watch a nice series on Netflix which I know you will definitely like. When I see cute dogs on the streets knowing you will shriek and wanting to pet them. Sometimes I just stare into space without any thoughts and you will just appear out of nowhere. All these thoughts always make me smile. The thought of you always makes me smile.

I wonder a lot if you think about me too. 

I still wish we didn’t have to go separate ways. But I understand that’s what was best for us at that point in time. You had too much on your plate and I had so much frustration with the situation I didn’t know how to handle it myself. I understand you did what was best for us and I think that’s the way you chose to love me. You saw what I couldn’t see. And for that - please know that I will always be grateful to you. For being so brave and for choosing this path to allow us both to heal properly. 

I will never be as brave as you. And maybe that’s why you will always be one of the strongest person I will know. Maybe the fact of you being so stubborn is good in this regard. You never give up no matter how tough the road ahead is. You never even flinch. You just continue marching on and choosing to fight the battle, even when you had to do it alone. I am so fucking proud of you and I will never stop saying that. 

I wish I wasn’t so afraid to wish you a proper “happy birthday” last year. I think love always makes me do stupid things. I recorded and uploaded a 25-minutes long video just to wish you a happy birthday weeks before 2 November 2020. But in the end, the video was never made known to you or to anyone. I even went to the Apple store wanting to pick up an Apple Watch for you because I know you have always wanted it. I replayed a lot of scenes in my head - how will you react? Will it stress you out? Is this doing more harm than good? It’s such a stupid idea. It was a tough battle and then at some point I realised I had no place in doing all of these. So, in the end, nothing was said and all these will forever remain as scenes played in my head. 

I think after all these time, you still care for me in your own way. Maybe watching my Instagram stories is one of the ways to let me know you still care, or maybe not. Maybe it’s all in my head. I don’t know and I think maybe I won’t ever know. 

To me, it doesn’t really matter that much anymore if you will ever get to read all these posts. Because I know, you are slowly achieving your goals. All I ever really wanted was for you to be happy and to have your inner peace. And I know you will have all that - slowly but surely. Remember? You appear to be happier and truth to be told, I am so so so happy for you. My heart still gets this tingling feeling whenever I see you smile and that’s when I know I will take a very very long time to get over you completely. Why do you still melt my heart?

Never thought you will have such an impact on someone right? You do. You are such an amazing person and I hope you will never stop telling yourself that. You brought me so much peace and happiness among the chaos. You taught me how to love myself better. And the list goes on. So please do know that you are not a bad person for hurting me because I know I hurt you too. It didn’t matter who hurt who and how much who fell short, a relationship is a choice to commit and I love you, that’s why everything else didn’t matter. There’s always bound to be hurt in a relationship and I quote the song “The Black and White” - call it what you need, but don’t blame yourself for me. 

You are so special and don’t you dare for one second think you are not. You are so precious. You always make me want to take care of you no matter how strong you appear to be because I know deep down, you are not. I ended up hurting you even though you are truly the last person I would ever want to hurt. I've always always wanted to protect you from this world, from anyone who wants to or who will hurt you. You will always be that special person in my heart holding that special place. And you will always be worthy, no matter how bad a person you think you are. Just so you know, you were never the bad person in my story and you never will be. Maybe I will forever have this regret of letting you get away but as long as I know you are doing well, everything’s going to be fine. 

I will probably always carry this hope of you coming back, no matter how much time has passed.

But for now, maybe this is the last thing I can give to you and also to myself. I forgive the long distance. I forgive the lack of communication. I forgive the pandemic for taking away the last chance I had to spend quality time with you. I forgive myself, I forgive us. Most importantly, I forgive you. 

I will always choose to forgive you because this lifetime is too short. Even though we were together for 2.5 years, I still feel like I wasn’t given enough time with you. I could have spent forever looking at you and not get bored because you will always find ways to either make me roll my eyes hard or laugh real hard. I could have spent forever getting lost in your eyes and the warmth of your hugs. I could have spent forever getting to know you - each and every version of you throughout this lifetime. 

But I know for now, greater things are waiting for you to achieve. I hope you will continue to be you. Never let anyone and any thoughts of not being good enough bring you down. Continue growing, continue scaling greater heights and continue fighting life. The future will always be daunting, perhaps it will overwhelm you and leave you doubting yourself. But please don’t ever give up, okay? Take a break when you are tired and continue to soldier on. I will continue to work hard and aim to achieve more too. And I can’t wait to hear good news about you in the future. I know I will be so happy for you for finally getting into the place in life where you always wanted and deserved. You deserve happiness more than anyone else.

We might never talk to each other again. Today could have been our 1000th day together. You are not mine anymore but I'm still a little bit yours. And I know after all these months, it’s probably time for me to move on from us. It’s time for me to move on from you. It was a privilege to love you, and it was a privilege to let you go. You are a tough act to follow but I gotta follow through.

I will try my best not to scream in my head “cute” or “beautiful” the next time I see your picture on social media. I will try not to pause for a short while the next time I come across your profile because trust me, I still do. If you happen to read this someday down the road, please just know that I still care so much for you but I think this is the best I can do for you. I will always care for you in my own way. I will always keep you so close to my heart.

I still love you and I am aware that I am still very in love with you. But I know if you felt the same way, you would have spoken to me because the ball has always been in your court ever since we stopped talking. 

Maybe someday we will meet again as better versions of ourselves and the time will finally be right for us.

But for now, as of this moment, here’s me signing off from this platform and taking baby steps to move on from you. It will take a lot of self-awareness, a lot of effort and a whole lot of time. Maybe I will spend this lifetime moving on from you. Or maybe I won’t ever move on from you but I know I gotta try. 

I don’t know what is waiting ahead of this road but I know, you will always be living somewhere inside of my heart and this I promise - nobody can ever take away. 

If along the way you meet someone who treats you well, from the bottom of my heart - I truly wish you well and I hope the person will know how to cherish and love you because you deserve all the good in this world. 

Please don’t tolerate bullshit again, okay? Don’t be stupid hor please (so singlish on Tumblr I know but it’s ok no more aesthetic after all these wordy posts). Grow up already so must know how to protect yourself please. Don’t be so stubborn also. I know your love hate relationship with cats but please do not get your allergy triggered by petting them especially at your void deck. Stock up more cooling water at home in case of emergency headache or fever. Also try not to scratch the spot on your head whenever you are in deep thoughts if not later really become baldy (HAHA)!! And lastly, avoid your black hole at all costs. I repeat - avoid at all costs. If you ever fall into it, just know that those thoughts are not real and get out of that place asap, okay? 

Go be weird, go be you, go conquer your demons and the world. I'm so thankful I met you in this lifetime you have no idea.

Important things must say thrice: 

I will always miss you and I will always love you. All ways. I will always miss you and I will always love you. All ways. I will always miss you and I will always love you. All ways.  

Till we meet again, take care.

Signing off,  Jes 

between good posts, miscellaneous aesthetic content, and astounding selfies, sometimes the mask slips and it becomes obvious that i am an extraordinarily troubled person. why? well, there are many reasons. but i can give you a microcosm from the sort of things that are done to me to make me this way, even by other trans women.

this is a vaguepost about me with zero notes. let’s break it down! but before we break it down, let’s take it at face value. the kind of picture she’s painting here insinuates that perhaps i horribly mistreated her and then, in HAL fashion, made sure she was exiled from all the communities we shared using vague accusations and extremely loaded language. something like that.

factually, the opposite happened. we’re all familiar with reversal of accusations done by people who hold power over these they hurt, aren’t we? so here are the disturbing and crude circumstances from which this disgusting screed emerged:

we initially shared an online space together. at some point we started conversing privately. as almost the first thing she said to me, she confided to me that she used to hate women like me: brash. assertive. confident. self-loving. not afraid to take up space or to refuse to put up with mistreatment. the product of a ceaseless struggle against conditioning to let people exploit me, abuse me. one of two directions each trans woman can take, the other one to become fragile and let oneself stay fragile.

she said that once she met me and got to know me, she dropped this worldview and seemed embarrassed she ever held it. in response, i, simply grateful to not have someone reject me for being the wrong kind of trans woman — an etymological baeddel, if you will — told her that i understood, since i know people like me aren’t allowed to exist. i wish i hadn’t.

because she didn’t drop it forever. she only dropped it conditionally.

we had a dalliance of sorts, and eventually it turned out to be deeply unhealthy for both of us, so i broke it off for both our sakes. i told her that it was probably for the best that we ‘stopped talking’, by which i meant to not contact me individually and to refrain from using group environments specifically to solicit me. i hoped that this reduction of contact, while making room to share the same spaces, would be better for both of us than our unhealthy and mutually damaging association.

then soon after day her girlfriend who shared the same space and who i still spoke to told me — as part of a larger diatribe concerning a reciprocally harmful situation — the following.“It’s ridiculous - it’s a completely irresponsible way to handle a sitution with someone you're supposed to share a community with. You completely disposed of her. You forced her out.”

alongside this, a series of quotes from hot allostatic load on her blog, very clearly meant for me.

apparently respect for the dignity of trans women like me ceased the moment i denied someone access to me— respect from her, and the people i thought were close to me but who were apparently still quite willing to suddenly assume the worst when i was simply trying to set boundaries. i wasn’t setting boundaries as a real trans woman may be entitled to, i was forcing people out, i was made the aggressor simply for daring to set boundaries based on a prior judgement that was made the moment people met me and the way i talk, the particular trauma responses i have. what might be praised in a more feminine and mild-mannered (trans) woman was in me, proof of guilt and evil.

it didn’t matter what actually happened, what exactly both of us respectively did to each other. what mattered is how she felt. how she felt aggressed against by the wrong kind of trans women daring to deny her access to her body and person.

other people got involved and other conflicts got aggravated. she kept stoking the fires— other situations, if they were resolvable beforehand, weren’t because of the poison she put in people’s heads about me. through all of this, neither she nor her girlfriend were ever in the slightest genuinely repentant for the way they made it difficult for me to set boundaries.

all of this happened in the acute aftermath of me being raped in an alleyway — an event they had knowledge of — during the few months after. i was so, so carefully trying out if it was even possible for me to be intimate with others. it was, briefly, until i pulled out, until i told people that i felt violated by things that happened.

and all of that, all of my attempts to set boundaries and to protest against violations committed, were not even met with direct answers or where not possible, dignified resignations to that fact and attempts to atone. instead, what happened is that they leveled narratives at their friends and girlfriends until they felt so overwhelmed that people refused to sincerely listen to my side of things and i was put in a position where all i was to do to make amends for my own actions, with everyone else completely protected. i was told people are very upset, that i had made them feel very bad, and this hurt is what ended up mattering, not what they did to me.

it broke me, for some time. i behaved disrespectfully and harmfully to a number of people in the months after. i was in such an aggravated state of trauma from having it be repeatedly proven to me that my body is fair game for anyone’s carnal drives that i was oblivious to the ways that i was exhausting people by trying to play politics in a vain attempt to get some recognition for what happened to me and how it was enabled, facilitated by both perpetrators and others in that space.

and then, eventually, after months of building tension and stress which nobody felt able to resolve, nothing could have happened but that i was forced out of the one space where i was told that the bad kind of trans woman could belong and be treated well, too.

that we could ‘build alternatives’ to the traumatic things that are done to us and then do to ‘each other’ (although really, just to those among us who aren’t deemed worthy of protection).

---

i do not believe she is actually a predator— i am not from an english-speaking country, and my throwaway post in which i said “no sympathy for sex pests who got rejected months ago and still whine about it” was based on an understanding that it meant someone who harmed others in the context of sexual interactions, but not necessarily an actual ‘predator’, insofar that essentialist, individual, reactionary idea of one who does harm actually holds meaning to me. certainly she is not as bad as actual literal alleyway rapists, not that it is fair or reasonable to have it fall to me to reassure anyone of that.

however, she is oblivious to the fact that reacting to people setting boundaries in this way and that projecting transmisogyny on them along the lines she did damages their ability to set boundaries in the future, especially since i was recently raped, which she and everyone else involved knew about. she’s not a predator, but her behavior chipped away at my ability to set boundaries and is completely irreverent of them regardless of context or intent. most consent guides have vile things to say about those who hear that they hurt others, freak out in an emotionally incontinent way and make it everyone else’s problem instead of working towards taking responsibility. unfortunately, she made it so that this behavior ended up being enabled and rewarded, simply because the way in which she was violent is not seen as violence by many in our circles.

i stopped taking progesterone. i refused to be intimate with people. i wanted to be sexless and recoiled at all expressions of attraction from others, experiencing them as a prelude to violation since i couldn’t conceive of people being into me and acting on that in a way that wouldn’t end up humiliating, traumatising, heartbreaking. i didn’t feel like i could exist with other people anymore, and believed that never, ever would i be treated in an equitable way where my hurt matters just as much as theirs.

i don’t want to be sanctified over my own mistakes i just want to get treated as all the other people who made awful, horrible ones— i wasn’t, people refused to level with me about it until they had already made up their minds about me and cut me off first individually, then collectively. i was treated as a perpetrator by default.

even with what i did and my role in all of this, i did not deserve to be treated this way.

---

i didn’t make any actual threats. what i did was the following.

if i don’t stop it from happening, a payload of information about the actions and identities of people who violated my boundaries will be released, with the understanding that this only happens if i don’t periodically reset a timer when it will be uploaded, with the understanding that this will only happen if i die. this gives me some sort of comfort that if i kill myself, i’ll at least get to finally have the voice which people with immense amounts of social capital are preventing me from having, inadvertently or on purpose. if all of this kills me, does she really believe she deserves to get away with it, my voice forever lost?

i also made a post that next time someone forces me into something i don’t want, i won’t freeze up— if it is a physical situation, i know i will fight back and win against someone literally sexually assaulting me, that is what the post was about! that’s not even something she wants (presumably). so to make this out as some threat against her is frankly preposterous, and i can’t really find any way to take it as another cynical attempt to portray me as the wrong kind of tranny: the one without a lithe body and who doesn’t perform a fetishisation of her own (pretended) lack of power over others well enough, with the wrong set of traumatic personality alterations.

---

allow me to end with a few choice screenshots from this person’s blog, and an ask she sent me to circumvent my block on discord.

what’s the deal with people who have a certain access to feminine fragility (cis women, certain kinds of trans women) and comparing people to their abusive fathers?

stop postmodernising about my boundaries. please.

what’s worse? ending something awful for both of us as well within my entitlements, or circumventing a block in order to chastise me for it as a prelude to unleashing the full power of the whisper network? i guess all things are fine when the first is done by a trans woman who can deadlift 1.5x her bodyweight and the second is done by a trans woman who prides herself on being sensitive and who is just so easy to hurt— not like she has plenty of means to passively aggress or cut trans women like me off from their support networks, murder them in a thousand ways which our community sanctifies, which is exactly what she did, both while we knew each other and after.

this, for months and months and months. making me wonder what the next way she will hurt me is going to be.

---

it is a genuine relief to hear that this person never wanted to see me again. because of her behavior, i was under the distinct impression she wanted me back in some sense. you may see why when you look at all these strange attempts to undermine the boundaries she knows i struggle to maintain.

all this talk invoking the concept of radical transformative justice after she did her best to escalate situations to get me exiled simply because i didn’t want to have a personal, individual association with her. it’s not enough for her that she managed to get rid of me, me daring to feel hurt by it is another violation of the values that were supposed to prevent what happened to me from happening, in fact, me feeling hurt is portrayed as worse as what she did to hurt me, and as invalidating any demand i have at all to be treated with any dignity or receive any defense or protection from anyone at all, simply because of the way it made her feel that i dared to be hurt by what she did.

what matters is what happened. what matters is what people did. what matters is what factually happened, not transmisogynistic interpretations of it, forgotten at convenience by the people who were there. what matters is who is decided to be worthy or unworthy of protection, who is actually capable of being hurt instead of considered unrapeable, unviolable, invulnerable and dangerous for it, which frankly, seems what patterns of ‘disposability’ always seem to revolve around. it is disturbing that this language was invoked to ironically, argue the status of my body as public property at pain of isolation.

what matters is power, and statements like “i don’t hate you” are cheap from those who will always have the social capital to hurt me like this so long as the gendered heuristics of the circles we share remain hegemonic.

Ready to answer 151 Questions? 1. When was the last time you swam in a pool? Like 6/7 years ago. 2. Do you like to party? My idea of a party is a small get together with friends just chillin’ with food and music. Maybe play some boardgames. Just super laid back. Crazy party scenes with a shitload of people I don’t even know is not my thing at all. That all being said, I haven’t been to a party in like 3 years. 3. If your ex suddenly kissed you right now, what would you do? I can’t even imagine a scenario where that would happen now. We haven’t talked or seen each other in almost 5 years. For that to happen, that would mean we were talking and hanging out again and yeah, don’t see that happening. Plus, SO much has changed for the both of us. Our ship sailed a longggg time ago. 4. Are you a virgin? Yes. 5. What are your parents views on your relationships? Ty and I never dated, but my parents really liked him. My mom definitely thought something was going on and she was rooting for us, ha. 

6. If you ran into your current boyfriend/crush in 10 years, would you marry them? I don’t have a boyfriend or a crush right now. But also, I wouldn’t just marry someone I bumped into 10 years later. Like, a LOT would have changed in that amount of time. Just because I dated or was interested in someone doesn’t mean things would be the same seeing each other that many years later. Would the feelings come back? Would we still vibe? What are we doing in our life at that time? Are we both single? 7. Is your best friend dating anyone?  My mom has been with my dad for over 30 years. 8. Describe the shirt you’re wearing? It’s a tie-shirt with pastel colors.  9. Do people who wear Hollister and Abrerbrombie every day bother you? I really don’t care. 10. Could you go out in public without wearing make-up? I’ve been doing that for the past few years. To think that there was a time I would have never done that... 11. What is one feature that you don’t like? On me? I mean, everything, but my smile/teeth for one. 12. Would people describe you as happy? No. 13. Are you single? Yep. 14. Does it bother you that pretty much every survey you take asks if you’re single? Yes or questions about relationships. 15. Do you have Tumblr? Duhhh.

16. What about Xanga? Aww, RIP Xanga.  17. Have you ever babysat before? Yeah, my younger brother and a couple of my cousins when they were kids.  18. Is there a teacher who you absolutely hate?  I had two awful math professors in community college. Like, they were horrible. 19. Ever shopped at Sephora? Yeah. 20. If your current boyfriend/crush suddenly moved away, what would you do?  21. Do you have any university plans? I graduated with my BA five years ago. I’m not going any further. 22. If your best friend revealed she was a homosexual, what would you do? I mean, it would definitely come as a huge shock if my mom came out now. Of course it wouldn’t change anything between us, but things would be different for awhile. Like, it would take time to get used to a new normal, one where she’s not with my dad who she’s been with for over 30 years and one where she’s with a woman.  23. What are your views on sex? Be safe. If you’re an adult and it’s consensual then I don’t see an issue. 24. Do sexual questions bother you?  No. I just don’t have much to say on the matter. 25. Would you rather have sex with your boyfriend or break up? Wth. 26. Have you ever dreamed about your wedding?  Nope. 27. Does it bother you when people TYpe 1yk dis’?  Omg. I’m so glad I don’t see that anymore. That seemed to die when Myspace did. 28. Do you delete pictures of you and your exes off of Facebook? There’s still photos of Joseph and I. *shrug* 29. Would you ever date a friends Ex? No. 30. What’s the last book you read?  The Girl and the Hunt by AJ Rivers. 31. Ready for 10 simple questions? Sure. 32. What is your last name?  Stephanie. 33. What grade are you in? I graduated college 5 years ago, I’m done. 34. What school do you go to? 35. Summer, Fall, Winter or Spring? Fall and winter. 36. Favorite Color? Pastels, rose gold, yellow, coral, mint green. 37. Are your parents together? Yes. 38. Any siblings?  I have two brothers. 39. Favorite subject?  Psychology.

40. Least favorite subject?  Math. 41. Favorite song? I could never just choose one. 42. Okay. Simple questions are over. Happy?  I don’t care. 43. How many friends do you have on Facebook?  150ish. 44. Ever been requested by some old guy from another country? They weren’t old, but yeah I’ve had several requests from men from other countries.  45. Have you ever googled yourself? Yeah. 46. Have a Formspring? I used to. I suppose it still exists out there since I never deleted it. I haven’t been on there in several years, though. 47. You’re offered free tickets to a Justin Bieber concert. What do you do? Probably decline the offer. I actually do like both his current and previous album, but I don’t know if I’d want to go to his concert. *shrug* I also don’t know anyone who would go with me and I wouldn’t go alone. 48. Would you rather spend the day at an amusement park or a water park? Amusement park. I don’t do water slides and whatnot.  49. Been to Disney world?  Nope, but I’d love to go. I’ve been to Disneyland several times, though. 50. If someone posts their status “9 Inches :(” do you know what they mean? Sounds like one of those things where people post a random status from a list of things that will likely get people’s attention and whoever comments on it is privately sent said list of thing and they then choose something to post as their status and so on. That was a popular game thing on Facebook years ago. 51. Ever had a boyfriend?  Yes.

52. Ever had a huge crush on someone who still doesn’t know? I’ve had crushes on guys who never knew, but the really serious ones (there were 5) all knew. 53. Have you done something in the last week that you regret?  Yes. 54. Ever drank alcohol?  Yeah. I drank in my early 20s until I was 24. 55. Know anyone who’s currently doing drugs? Yeah. 56. Ever watched The Hills?  Yeah, the OG one and the reboot that came out last year. 57. What about Jersey Shore? No, I never got into that one. 58. Ever called someone a slut?  I’ve said that jokingly to friends. 59. What do you think of short shorts? I don’t wear them. Or any length of shorts.  60. Does it bother you if people swear around you? No. I think it’s funny because my dad is still weird about cussing in front of me and so is our family friend. She always apologizes to me if she does it.  61. Have you ever gotten an A in a subject? I mostly got A’s and B’s throughout school with some C’s because of stupid math. 62. What about a B?  ^^^ 63. And a C? ^^^ 64. How about a D? No. 65. Ever skived? What’s that? 66. Would you consider yourself popular and outcast or somewhere in the middle? I’d say I was the outcast. I mean, I had some friends, but I really just didn’t stand out or fit in.  67. Are most of your friends older or younger than you? My friends were my age or a year younger. Ty was the only one who was older than me (just by a year). 68. Ever been stabbed in the back by a close friend? Yes. 69. Do you think it’s immature when people laugh at the number 69? I have my immature moments, too. That one doesn’t do it for me, though.  70. Ever watched porn? I’ve seen it, but it wasn’t for my viewing pleasure or anything. I just personally don’t get the appeal. 71. How many laws do you think you’ve broken in the past month?  I don’t think I’ve broken any. I don’t do anything or go anywhere, ha. 72. Do you wake up with an alarm clock? Yeah. I’d sleep later than 3PM if I didn’t and I don’t know, for some reason I don’t want to. Not like I have anything better to do, but *shrug* 73. Do you prefer Wednesdays or Thursdays? Makes no difference to me. 74. If your school had a Glee Club would you join?  No. I can’t sing. I’m surprised I did choir for a few years in elementary school. 75. Ever performed in a talent show? My 2nd grade class did. We did “This Little Light of Mine” with a few very simple hand movements that went along with it. 76. Have you ever cried in public? Yeah. For the most part it’s only been at funerals and doctor appointments, but there have been a few other times in public where I felt the tears coming and tried to fight them back, but they started coming out anyway. I’m definitely someone who doesn’t like to cry in front of other people, so when it happens then you know it’s bad. 77. Do you have a favorite between your Mom and your Dad? I love both of my parents, but my mom and I have a closer relationship. She’s my best friend. I truly don’t know what I’d do without her. 78. Would you audition for a reality talent competition? Nooo. I have zero talent. 79. How many celebrity crushes have you had?  A lot. 80. How many non-celebrity crushes have you had?  A lot. 81. Name 5 male celebrities who you think are attractive. Alexander Skarsgard, Henry Cavill, Chris Evans, Matt Bomer, and Chris Pratt.  82. Name 5 female celebrities who you think are attractive. Margot Robbie, Jennifer Lopez, Ariana Grande, Hailey Baldwin, and Natalie Portman.  83. Ever been compared to a celebrity?  Ha, no. 84. Have any embarrassing pictures on Facebook? If someone uploads a photo of me that I don’t approve of it gets deleted asap. 85. Do you think spending £20 on Lip Gloss is a waste of money?  That’s too much to me.  86. Are you opinionated?  I do have my opinions I feel strongly about, but I also consider myself to be openminded. I’m open to hearing different sides of things. I want to. And it’s certainly possible for my opinion to change.  87. Do you have a favorite store? BoxLunch, Hot Topic, Kohl’s, Target, and Bath & Body Works. 88. Would you ever wear Flare Jeans? No. 89. Do you own jeans that aren’t skinny? Nope. 90. Have you ever worn the same outfit twice in one week?  Yeah. *gasp* Call the fashion police! 91. What’s the longest period of time you’ve been away from school?  Well, I graduated college 5 years ago if that counts. But if you mean like while I was still going to school, then a few months. I had to miss school 3 times for a few months because I had to have surgery. One of the times was when I was supposed to start UC, but ended up having to start the following semester instead. 92. Do you google abbreviations you don’t understand? Yeah. 93. Does it bother you when people have cats as their profile picture? I don’t care? 94. Own a pair of converse?  Yes. 95. Is there a teacher at your school who has obvious favorites? 96. If yes, are you one of them?  97. Do you text in class?  I never did that. I was a goody-goody lol.  98. What brand of jeans do you wear the most? I haven’t worn jeans at all in like 3 years, ha, but anyway most of my jeans are the Arizona brand from JCP. They’re the perfect fit for me and they’re reasonably priced. 99. At what point do you think sizes are “Plus Sized?” According to Google, it starts at size 16. 100. Do you want to lose weight?  Nooo. I’m too underweight as it is. I need to gain weight. 101. Ever seen a therapist?  No, but I should. 102. Ever watched porn?  Yeah, I’ve seen some of it. I didn’t watch out of enjoyment, though. I don’t get the appeal, personally. 103. Ever purposely ignored a text?  Yes. 104. A facebook message?  Yes. 105. A poke? I always ignored those. That was a dumb feature Facebook had. 106. A friend request?  Yeah. I don’t accept a request from anyone I don’t know. 107. Would you say you read into things too much?  Yepppp.  108. Is your best friend more likely to be the one suggesting something stupid or refusing to do something stupid? Refusing. 109. Do you have a “fun friend?” (A friend who you have tons of fun with but you never really have deep conversations?)  No.  110. Ever been called a bully?  No. 111. Ever purposely hurt yourself?  Yes. 112. Ever gone to church? Yes. I used to go sometimes with both sets of grandparents when I was a kid. They were of different religions, so that began my complicated and non-existent relationship with religion. That changed a few years ago, though, and now I’m a Christian. For over a year I’ve only been listening to the audio version a local church uploaded to their website every Sunday until they started uploading video earlier this year. The past few months they’ve been doing live streams because of the quarantine/lockdown, but they’ll be continuing that going forward for those like me who aren’t able to physically attend. I plan to when I’m able, though. 113. Would you call either of your parents screw ups? Absolutely not! 114. If you turned out exactly like your mom would you be pleased? Yes. 115. What do you want to do with your life? I don’t know. That’s the problem. 

116. Let me guess… You have brown hair? Naturally, yes, but not currently. 117. Already know what you’re being for Halloween? I don’t dress up or do anything for Halloween anymore. The past few years I’ve just stayed home and watched scary movies. I do for the whole month of October, though. 118. Do you still go Trick or Treating? Uh, no. I’m going to be 31 years old this year. 119. Ever liked someone WAY older than you? Celebrities, but not anyone “in real life.” 120. Does it bother you when people have really loud conversations on the bus?  It didn’t really bother me back when I had to take the bus sometimes in college. 121. When you have sunglasses on, do you stare at people?  I don’t wear sunglasses. Also, staring is rude. I’ve had to deal with people staring at me, mostly kids, all my life. Not cool. 122. Ever had a credit card denied? No. 123. What’s the last movie you watched?  Parts of James and the Giant Peach yesterday. 124. Last TV Show?  The Golden Girls. 125. You see your Ex making out with one of your friends. What do you do? I don’t have any friends, but I imagine I wouldn’t like seeing that. 126. Ever been called a whore?  Jokingly. 127. Are you american?  Yes. 128. Ever made yourself throw up? No.  129. Have you ever kissed someone who wasn’t your boyfriend?  Yes. Joseph and I did that for the entire time of whatever it was we had going on.  130. Are you Cute or Gross?  I’m trash. 131. Does it bother you when people say “LOOK HOW MUCH YOU’VE GROWN!”? No one has said that to me in a very long time. I don’t recall being bothered by it, though. 132. Can you say intelligent things around the guy you like?  I don’t like anyone, currently.  133. Ever had the lead in a play?  Nope. Never tried out for a play either. 134. What about a solo in a concert?  Ha, no. I was in choir in elementary school for a few years, but there definitely weren’t any solo parts for me.  135. What kind of a student are you? I did well. 136. Worst subject?  It was always math. 137. Best subject? English. 138. Ever had a crush on a teacher? No. 139. Would it bother you if you found out that your mother was pregnant?  She had a hysterectomy several years ago. 140. How late do you sleep in?  Until like 230 or 3ish. 141. Do you edit your profile pictures before posting them?  I use a filter.  142. Be 100% honest. Do you have any friends who are uglier than you? I was the ugly friend. 143. Do you believe in love? Well, yeah. It exists. I just feel like I’ll never experience romantic love. I’ve been in love twice, but both times were unrequited. I can’t imagine finding love in return and someone who actually wants to be with me.  144. Would you consider yourself a good student?  Didn’t you ask this? 145. Does it bother you when Surveys ask “Did you like this survey?”  It just seems kinda pointless cause they likely won’t see it.  146. Salty, Sweet, Sour or Spicy?  Salty and sweet. I would have said spicy back in the day, but I can’t eat spicy food anymore. Haven’t been able to for the past few years. D: 147. Are you going into High School this year?  Nooooo. Thank goodness. I did my time and graduated over 10 years ago. 148. What about Junior High? Omg, no. I’m old. 149. What is one thing someone could say to you right now that would make you cry?  Let’s not try and make me cry. It’s almost 7AM, I should be asleep. 150. Where did you find this note? LiveJournal.  151. Last question. How many unread messages are in your phone?  I don’t leave any unread text messages. 

Fire Hazard

As y’all could apparently tell, a certain fic author has inspired me to write some gay. So here’s some fluffy gay.

Original fic for @fictober-event​.

Prompt 19:  “Yes, I admit it, you were right.” 

Rating: T+

Title: Fire Hazard

Warnings: Alcohol mentions, light harassment

AO3 mirror here.

Sophie moved like a skillful calligrapher’s brush, leaving behind deliberate, knowing strokes with every footstep. When she got close enough, the scent of freshly brewed lattes drifted through the air, and when the sun was shining, you could see pretty auburn dots run along the nape of her neck. Even her dorky glasses paired absurdly well with the gently cresting waves of her umber hair.

Sophie was beauty. Sophie was grace.

And Sophie was irritatingly straight.

“Why don’t you take a picture, paintcan? It’d last longer,” she smirked, shimmying into her usual chair.

Cait glared and stuck her tongue out. “Tough luck. I’m stuck with you until the lease runs out. And… I was staring at your shirt. You have a rough night?”

Sophie tilted her head to the side and absentmindedly ran two slender fingers over one of the holes in her shirt, revealing just a little more of her smooth, pale skin. “Hmm, I seem to recall you having a rough night yourself a while back. Or, more accurately, waking up next to one.”

“She was a mistake. A drunken, mistake, you overpaid coffee machine, and that was three months ago.” Cait avoided her roommate’s gaze by lifting her mug of scalding tea to her face. HOT HOT HOT. Keep it together.

Sophie giggled, a sound so bright it could make the sun wear sunglasses. “Well. It’s costume day at the cafe! Isn’t that exciting?”

“You going as ‘laundry night’? You’re gonna be freezing your butt off.”

“Think more ‘drop-dead gorgeous werewolf,’” Sophie shot back, a hint of honey in her voice. A few keys jingled, and suddenly she was waltzing her way to the front door. “I’ll post the finished look on Insta, ‘kay? Look forward to it! And I’ll get tonight’s groceries. Just grab a good lunch, sleepyhead!”

And just like that, the scent of lattes disappeared, and the sky was downcast again.

See? Irritating.

Cait let out a beleaguered sigh and sank down in her chair. “Sleepyhead” was a new one. And with every new one came a new emotion she didn’t know she could have, and certainly not one she knew how to deal with.

She didn’t sign up for this. Not at first, at least. Despite their constant bickering, the two had been good friends since high school. When they managed to get into the same university, they decided to move in together. Sophie was kind of a mess back then, and she had terrible taste in men. So moving in was for her own good. Yep. That was it. Cait could think of no other reason.

Until Sophie became less of a mess. She started to go through boyfriends slower than one a month, thank god, until the number finally dwindled down to zero. Then came her brushstroke movements and the way she would gently lift that lucky soup spoon to her lips. She started to do heart-melting little gestures, leaving fresh plates of cookies on the countertop, placing little sticky notes on the fridge to wish her roommate a good day. And then she landed that new job at the cafe. Cait was always weak for a good latte. She never stood a chance, really.

It had been almost two years since then, two tantalizing years. “Never get with your roommate,” her friends had cautioned her. “It never ends well.” That, plus the fact that Sophie had loudly proclaimed her love for men after a drunken night or two of revelry. Ah, how love can fizzle out as quickly as it sparks. Really, Cait never stood a chance.

“So can my dumbass heart stop for just one second!!” she yelped, leaping up in her chair. She couldn’t think straight with her roommate around, damnit! How inconsiderate. How irritating. She had commissions to finish, and a strongly worded letter to send to her professor, and that 200k slowburn wasn’t going to read itself.

That last one sounded good right now. Drawing could wait. Cait slapped her mug into the sink and trundled her way over to her laptop.

A few tear-jerking hours later, she felt her phone buzz on the tabletop. She took a glance. The barista of her dreams had just shared a post on Insta.

Cait had never unlocked the screen faster.

Sophie always looked cute in her uniform. But today, she was positively heavenly. Her apron caressed the generous curves of her torn shirt, giving the slightest peeks to a sight that could make anyone’s stomach churn. Her black stockings stretched over her short but heinously delicate legs, ending inside her fuzzy brown boots. She was holding a drink and biting the straw with a vengeance while wearing a playful expression on her face that really did not help Cait’s problem. Actually, the adorable creature was even baring a set of fake fangs, which really, really did not help the problem. Her hair was tied back in a loose ponytail, and a soft wolf-ear headband sat atop her head. And she was winking, her long lashes practically kissing the lenses of her big round glasses, showing off a hint of her brownish-red eyeshadow that unfortunately drew the line of sight directly to those irritatingly honeyed irises.

She was probably violating a few dress codes. She was a fire hazard. A horribly dangerous fire hazard in Cait’s heart.

Another notification broke the silence. This time, it was a DM.

Soupie: Paintcan!!

Soupie: New look uploaded!!! ;>

Soupie: Pretty fired up today.

Kitcait: Oh. Didn’t notice

Soupie: Well, NOTICE!!!

Kitcait: Still wearing that shirt in the freezing cold I see

Kitcait: Blogger to the core

Soupie: ...

Soupie: If you didn’t like the look, you can just say so.

Kitcait: No!! No. I actually think it’s really cute. Really. I don’t think anyone else could pull it off as well. Cute and seasonal. Nice ears lmao

Soupie: I--

Soupie: Thanks.

A moment passed.

Soupie: Suspicious thanks, but thanks, Cait.

Kitcait: Ye

Soupie: How’s your lunch going? You eating well, you vampire?

Cait snorted and sent Sophie a quick selfie with her half-eaten cup of instant noodles.

Kitcait: Meal of champions

Soupie: HEY!!!

Soupie: You’re gonna pass out from malnutrition some day!

Soupie: We’re going to have a decent dinner and I will cook the whole thing and feed it to you by hand if I have to.

Kitcait: Looking forward to biting your hand

Soupie: Worth it. Break’s over gotta go see you in 4

Ahhh,

Oh, jeez.

That adorable, kindhearted, devastating idiot.

How was she supposed to concentrate on anything now?

“Deep breaths, dumbass,” said Cait, clutching her comically pounding chest.

It was a bright, crisp autumn day outside. Some fresh air couldn’t hurt. A quick stroll might help. Maybe she could go get those groceries instead. But she would have to meet Sophie as she got out from work. You know, so they didn’t accidentally double up on expensive produce. Yeah, that’s why. Not because the short, peppy woman happened to be Aphrodite in an apron.

Cait stood up tugged on her overcoat. She paused as she saw the enormous orange blanket scarf that hung by the door, a relic from the previous tenants of their apartment.

Well. Just in case, yeah?

Cait lifted the fabric and hung it on her arm, and she was out the door as well.

Her arms were starting to get sore from lugging around two full bags of food, but luckily for her, she had the gift of long legs and a quick gait. And she was already getting close to the cafe. It would be all worth it if she could just see--

Sophie, standing right outside her workplace, in all of her ‘drop-dead gorgeous werewolf’ glory. The bottom of her shirt was tied in a little knot now, lifting above her midriff and her long plaid circle skirt. Cait tried her very, very best not to get lost in the sight of the most dazzling roommate in the world.

A roommate who, to her immediate dismay, was chatting with a local frat boy.

“Jerry, I’m too tired for this, I really have to get home--”

“Come on! Hey, you look great today.” His voice rumbled up and down the street like a revving engine, attracting more than a little attention from passers-by.

“I really have to--”

“Just one drink? I’m buyin’! We can go get the good stuff!” The wild gorilla-man gesticulated a little too enthusiastically. Enough was enough.

“Sophie!” Cait stepped forward and ruffled the barista’s hair. “Funny I should see you here.”

“Hey!” Jerry’s tone soured. “I saw you at that party. You’re that dy--”

“Six-foot-tall, MMA-certified lesbian,” snapped Cait, “who would love an excuse to smack your scrawny ass into the leaves. Or, you know. To call the cops.”

The man scoffed and thankfully began to trundle away. “You’re no fun anyway.”

Cait let out a shaky sigh. It really wasn’t like her to pick a fight, but hell if she didn’t look at least a little bit cool in the heat of the moment.

She turned back towards Sophie.

“Hey. Are you hurt?”

Her roommate shook her head and stepped a little closer, holding the sides of her arms. “I’m okay. I don’t think he was going to do anything, he’s just kinda pushy, but...” Sophie looked up with soft eyes. “Thanks. Cait.”

Suddenly, fireworks.

So irritating!

“Anyway, MMA? Really?”

Cait chuckled, thankful for the change of topic. “I did taekwondo as a kid. Same difference.”

Her roommate let out a heart-stopping giggle, and they started walking back home. Somehow, up close and in person, she was a couple thousand times cuter. And suddenly the sidewalk became an object of close scrutiny.

“Achoo!”

Cait quickly glanced back over and let out an involuntary snort. Sophie was shivering in her scandalously frayed top, her nose and cheeks growing pink.

“Come on, wolfie, let’s sit down somewhere.”

As they made their way to a park bench, the taller girl slipped off her overcoat and draped it around Sophie, who let out a noise somewhere between a grunt and a breath of appreciation.

“Told you you’d get cold,” said Cait in a hushed tone, tucking the scarf around her friends’ neck.

Sophie scrunched up her face in a way that made the lesbian say a quick internal prayer of thanks that the two could exist at the very same point in time, just centimeters apart in this cold, cruel world.

“Yes, I admit it, you were right.”

Ugh.

Even her pout was perfect.

Then she flipped around and pressed up against Cait, filling her mind with nothing but coffee grounds and confetti. Sophie’s hair was on fire in the golden-hour glow as she leaned her head against her roommate’s chest. A couple stray threads tickled Cait’s jaw and positively set her cheeks ablaze as well.

“You know,” Sophie said with a playful sigh, “you’d be pretty good boyfriend material.”

Cait gave a slightly bitter scoff. “What about girlfriend material?”

They said nothing for just a moment too long.

The world passed by a mile a minute around them, and the feisty barista was uncharacteristically silent.

Suspiciously silent.

Sophie buried her face in that annoyingly orange scarf.

Cait fought back her heart as it threatened to leap up to her throat. She’d felt this before. But something was different this time. Oh gods, maybe, just maybe, something was different this time.

“Soph,” she whispered softly, her voice breaking with every heartbeat. “Can… can I see your face right now?”

The shorter girl disobediently turned the other way.

But Cait leaned forward, reaching out, and suddenly she was slowly easing her pouting crush’s head to face her own and gently prying the warm, soft scarf back downwards. It revealed a constellation of vivid freckles set aglow. And Sophie’s face was the most beautiful shade of red in the world, even redder than Cait had imagined in her wildest dreams.

“Holy cow,” Cait exhaled.

And for a single, heart-stopping moment, all the two could do was stare.

Until all of a sudden, fingertips were combing through umber hair, and slender hands were clinging on to the others’ back, and lips were meeting each other in near-painful desperation.

Sweet, soft, tender paradise for just a few seconds.

“I thought--”

“Cait. Hush,” whispered Sophie, looking directly into her roommate’s eyes this time.

And they both obliged and came together once more, a whirlwind of emotions kicking up in Cait’s heart that managed to settle on something warm and almost tearful. The kiss was gentler the second time around, a little kinder, and just a little harder to pull away again.

Then they both sat back into the bench, wide-eyed, looking off into the treetops.

“Weren’t you straight?” blurted Cait.

“Back then? I said I liked guys, you disaster, not that I exclusively liked guys.” Sophie seemed to be fighting back an enormous smile, cheeks still holding their brilliant rosy tint. “Plus, you didn’t hear what I mumbled after that. That I was maybe starting to think about girls. Well. Girl. To be accurate.” She continued, voice trailing off.

“Oh,” was all said girl could manage, as she felt soft arms wrapping gingerly around her.

For a beautiful moment, Sophie was all there ever was.

“You know,” the barista giggled mischievously into her roommate’s ear, “I can maybe. Think of some other nicknames I’d like to call you now.”

And Cait was on fire again.

“How about we make dinner first?”

The spider that bind us.

Pairing: peter parker x female!reader

Word Count: 1.7k

Warnings: a little cussing, nothing major.

Plot: You were nervous about getting your soulmate identifying mark. It turns out you didn't have to worry at all.

N/A: the gif is not mine! I uploaded it to AO3

I wasn’t supposed to be this anxious over this. I was having a full-blown mental breakdown because in half an hour I’d know something about my soulmate. The thing is: you never knew what it would be.

Some people had Words - the first words they would say to each other, some shared a mental link to their soulmate, some had a thread connecting them, some could feel everything their soulmate felt, some had Soul-marks - a mark in their bodies exactly the same in the exact same place, some even had the name of the other on their back, following the shape of their spine, clocks counting down to the exact moment they would meet was common, too.

Soulmates also didn’t have a big age gap between them, some people had months of difference, some had days, but the rule was clear: it never exceeded one year. 365 days.

I went through all the known signs of soulmate links in my mind. Knowing any of these could happen calmed my mind because it seemed at least I could brace myself for what would happen.

10 minutes. I was going to turn 16 and have something that connected me to my soulmate.

Sometimes I hated that soulmates existed, it was like you were bound to your fate, you couldn’t decide, you couldn’t be freed from them. I just hoped whoever was out there for me was good.

My phone chimed, indicating I received a message.

“Brace yourself, pretty girl. Almost midnight.” It read. I smiled. Peter sure knew how to get on my nerves.

“Brace yourself, pretty boy, yours is a month away.”

I got distracted, the clock turned and I didn’t even notice. Stripping to look for a piece of physical evidence I went to stand in front of the big mirror in my room.

There it was. A geometric spider, right in the middle of my boobs. I sucked in a breath. It was the evidence my heart belonged to someone else. A touchstone I never knew I’d like or cherish. The visual representation of our bond calmed my mind like nothing ever could. Shit, I was in deep and haven’t even met them.

“What is it?” Peter’s message flashed on my phone.

“Soul-mark”

“Can I see it?”

“Too personal, Mr. Parker”

There was no way I would be sending pictures of my boobs to Peter Parker. It was bad enough I had to figure out how to get over my crush for him because now I had a soulmate to care about. My nudes were exclusive to the person who carried the exact same spider on their chest.

This line of thought had me frozen for a second. There was a person who carried the exact same spider in the exact same place swinging around in Queens. Could it be Spider-Man? My very own soulmate? Why would he carry his soul-mark so visible? Wasn’t it dangerous?

I groaned, it was too late and I was too emotionally exhausted to think about it right now. I went to bed and decided I had time to deal with this later.

Time seemed to fly by, sometimes I even forgot I had already gotten my soul-mark. And I was glad it wasn’t somewhere super visible, I could still wear tank tops, crop tops and even some kinds of swimsuits if they were the right shape.

I wasn’t the kind of person flaunting my soul-mark to everybody. If my assumption was right and Spider-Man was my soulmate, it could be potentially dangerous for people to know my Mark.

It was August 9th, 11:58PM, and I was in my room wondering if Peter was as nervous as I had been waiting for my soul-mark. I decided to call him.

“Hey, Penis Parker.” I heard him groan.

“You know I hate it.” I chuckled.

“Gotta keep you on your toes, Pete.”

“You sure know how to do it.”

“How are you?” I asked softly.

“Excited,” I hummed and he sighed, "A little nervous, too.”

“It's okay to be nervous, you know that, right?”

Peter made a noncommittal sound.

“Peter,” I paused, “Would it help if I stayed on the line?”

“Yeah,” He breathed out.

“Okay, go on, check yourself out.”

I heard a breath being sucked in. And a small “Shit” being said.

“What is it?” I was curious to know as much as he had been with mine.

“Soul-mark,” He said reverently.

“Can I see it?”

“Too personal, Ms. (Y/L/N)” I chuckled, it was the exact same conversation we had through messages when it was my turn.

“Can you tell me if it’s cool?”

“It's ironically cool,” He said as if it was an inside joke I wasn’t allowed to know.

“That made me only even more curious.” He snorted.

“I'll show you mine if you show me yours.” I blushed hearing those words.

“Uh, it sounded much better in my head.” He said sounding embarrassed.

“You think I can’t handle a little innuendo, Penis Parker?” I totally couldn’t handle an innuendo coming from Peter. Peter who was my crush since 8th grade, Peter who now filled out his nerdy shirts so nicely, Peter who was so awkwardly sexy with zero effort.

I could almost hear him thinking, “I'm just kidding, I have to go, though. See you later?”

“Yeah, see you in a bit, pretty girl.” I blushed and ended the call, I knew Peter was just joking around, but it still got to me.

The next day at school everything was exactly like before. I think we put so much weight into turning 16 when it changes effectively nothing. Or at least that’s what I thought. Fate is something that should never, ever, be played with. Spider-Man saved me that same week from a car crash. Our chests were touching and both of us were breathing hard from the adrenaline.

I felt my chest burning, not from the adrenaline, though. I looked down at where our chests were touching and his spider insignia was pressing down exactly were my soul-mark was located.

“We need to talk.” He cursed lowly.

“Tonight?” He pleaded and I nodded, and he put me back on the ground.

It wasn’t until later that I realized that Spider-Man had never told me where to meet up. I frowned sitting on my bed that night, mad at myself for not having realized that earlier. That was when I heard a tap on my window. And he was there. Outside of the window of my bedroom. Fricking Spider-Man.

I opened the window to let him in. And three seconds later he was standing awkwardly in the middle of my room.

“So…” I started, now that he was here I didn’t really know how to start.

“Uh…” It seemed like he had no clue, too.

“I have a question,” I said tentatively.

“Ask away,” He said motioning with his hand for me to go on.

“Is your soul-mark the same as the spider in your chest?” I said everything fast, like ripping off a band-in. He seemed taken aback.

“Yeah, but how-” He let the question hang in the air as he came to the realization, the eyes on his suit going wide. I gave him a small smile.

He pressed the spider in the middle of his chest and his suit got loose and slipped from his shoulders. There it was. The exact same soul-mark I had. I was about to say something when he took off his mark as well. It was like my breath was punched out of me as I faced Peter Parker in front of me. My Peter. My best friend Peter.

“Peter,” I whispered, astonished.

“Hi,” he said waving at me, shy and standing half naked in my room.

I was in utter shock, that’s the only reason for my next move. I grabbed the hem of my shirt and took it off. As easy as it sounds. So it was Peter in his boxer and me in my pajama shorts and bra.  I really hoped my parents didn’t choose today to come barging in my room.

Peter walked to me slowly until we were facing each other, a foot away.

“May I?” He asked raising his hand before stopping himself.

I grabbed the hand that was still halfway lifted and let him touch my mark, my bra run right in the middle of it. The only way for him to see it completely would be to take it off and my cheeks burned at the realization. He didn’t ask me to, which I knew Peter never would. And I was glad my soulmate respected me so much. It dawned on me.

“You’re my soulmate, Pete,” I whispered. Peter looked up from where he was watching his own hand touch the soul mark.

“I am.” He smiled whispering right back at me. He pulled me close, “would it be okay if I kissed you right now?”

“More than,” I said leaning in.

Peter’s lips lowered to mine, and we kissed slowly and soft at first, getting to learn each other's movements, but then it wasn’t enough, Peter grabbed at my hips and I pushed at his shoulder to get impossibly closer and our kiss turned fast and wild. He licked into my mouth and my whole body melted into his. Our hands and lips never getting enough of each other.

As soon as we parted I rested my forehead to his shoulder, “I've wished for this for long” I confessed.

“Have you now?” He teased me lightly, his tone changing when he said the next sentence, “Me too, (Y/N). I wished you were my soulmate ever since I knew both of us had soul-marks.”

“I guess our wishes came true,” I said touching our foreheads and noses.

“I love you,” Peter said as if it was the most trivial thing in the world.

“I love you,” I said it back. I’ve known I loved Peter Parker for much longer than that I had this soul-mark to back me up.

masterpost with all my works

Becoming a Digital Nomad: A quick and dirty guide to UpWork

(My “office” on the Isla of Flores in Guatemala)

Freelancing is one of the best jobs I’ve ever had. 

Although now I have moved off of freelancing and am more of an independent contractor, I still pick up a few freelancing projects ever quarter.

Because it is simply a great way to make money. Loads of people are leaving their office and opting for something more flexible: according to the FreshBooks Self-Employment Report, potentially 27 million Americans will leave the traditional work in favor of self-employment by 2020. This shift would triple the current population of full-time self-employed professionals bringing the total number of workers to 42 million.

And that’s just in the US, imagine what these figures look like globally.

I’m guessing if you are here reading this, we’ve talked about it already and I have sent you the link, so you are pretty sold: but let’s review:

You choose your hours. No bosses saying “You’re ten minutes late!” or having to suffer through another 8-hour shift that just never seems to end. You pick when you work. If you are hungover and can’t bring it to the table: that’s your call. (But warning: you will not get the money if you don’t work.) 

You choose your projects. After the first couple projects (which is a bit of a mad and dirty dash, I am afraid) you get to start to get choices. Storytime! Once I was working for this American Museum Tour company. At first, they were loads of fun, and they even flew me to New York City multiple times, and I got a paid trip to Switzerland. Things were great, until the point they weren’t. Then I began to hate it with the passion of a thousand suns. So one day, I just quit. The next day, I found another project, and they paid me more money, and were a better company. It was bloody easy. Stop suffering. Pick a project you like and only stick with it until/if you stop liking them.  (Note: I have been with the new client for 3 years, and they are still a dream to work with.)��

You get paid real money. There is this idea that if it happens on the internet, maybe there is something sketchy about it. This could be true in some cases: but in this case, you get actual money (ok, sometimes it is in a different currency then the country you are living in, but you can turn it into your currency) that goes into your actual bank account and you can actually buy and pay for things. For sitting at home.  Doing stuff on your laptop. 

You can learn new stuff on the job. I definitely didn’t start out with all the skills I have now. I started off as a modest internet researcher, and through time, worked my way up to having this whole jetpack of skills that clients not only want, but need. Don’t feel daunted about not being able to do everything right away. Start with a good project, and be a sponge. Learn as much as you can, because these skills are valuable (remember the part about making real money?) 

You can go anywhere in the world. As long as they have wifi, and your clients are ok with you being in a different timezone? You can go anywhere. Since working as a freelancer, I have travelled to, get this, 30 countries. Screw waiting around for a two-week vacation. Go see the world. And make some money while you do it.

Now, here comes the part where I bring that excitement down to a reasonable level.

There are some hard truths about freelancing I am going to be frank about.

The first is that it is real work. You’ve got to be dedicated and you absolutely have to have a rock-solid work ethic. If you don’t, you will not get very far, because this is not the kind of job you can “float by” on. People will drop you like a hot potato the second you stop performing. And there is no safety net. You will have to hustle your own projects for the first bit: people will not be chomping at the bit to get you. In fact, they will probably, most like, almost definitely ignore you for the most part. There are literally 12 million users on UpWork: if you aren’t hustling, you aren’t going anywhere. Apply for ten positions a day. Get up at 4am for a Skype interview. Be charming af. Follow up, then follow up again. Don’t let them forget you, and if they don’t hire you, ask why and then get better. You’ve got to get your own work. Lastly, you are probably not going to make mad money right away. The money is there, and you can have some of it, but you are probably going to have to do a bit of grunt work first, and I am talking up to 2-3 months at a low rate. But keep at it. There is a bunch of money and magic at the top of the mountain.

Still with me?

Ok. Let’s get into it.

Why UpWork?

So, when I first started freelancing, I signed up for a few different Freelancing websites that were around at the time: oDesk, Elance and Freelancer.   There were others I looked at, like Toptal and Fivrr. But I couldn’t see how people could make actual money to pay bills on Fivrr, but didn’t have high enough skills or experience for Toptal.   I got work within a few weeks of signing up for oDesk, and after seeing the cut that Freelancer was taking after one project, stuck with oDesk. oDesk merged with Elance, they changed their name to UpWork, and here we are.  

That being said: I love UpWork. At one point, one of my clients asked me if we could leave UpWork, and he would pay me directly. I agreed. That is $1000 I will never get back. He was a nice guy, but at that moment, I was screwed over, and there was nothing I could do. UpWork protects you from that happening. 

Secondly, with the sheer amount of freelancers on the site: clients are simply drawn to UpWork. They aren’t just looking for the cheapest: they are looking for the variety.

Note: I am not longer using UpWork, and work 100% on my regular clients and referrals. But there is no way I would have gotten there, or gotten so many skills, without UpWork, so I still think it is the best place to start.

Setting up your profile

Here are three great articles on how to set up a great profile:

Enhance Your Upwork Freelancer Profile for Greater Success

How to Create an Upwork Profile That Gets You Clients, FAST

Sample: Profile

I am not going to rewrite what they’ve said. Because that is a waste of time (hurray for understanding time management!)

But here are my top 6 tips:

Upload a profile picture where you look good. I mean real good. Don’t be an a** about it either. Clean, professional, and hot. That’s all. No party hats or dogs or sunglasses or duck-facey, off camera looks.

Pick 5 skills. Even though they let you have 10: be clear about what you can and want to do. Now, on the topic of skills: you do not need a journalism degree to be a writer. Or a photography degree to manage an Instagram account. Think about the kinds of things you like. Are you a grammar nut? Put those skills to work as an editor. Do you speak multiple langauges fluently? Become a translator. Do you love spreadsheets? That is a freaking skill, (wo)man! Are you generally a happy-go-lucky, I-can-get-shit-done kind of person? Be someone’s personal virtual assistant. You do not have to be defined by what you’ve already done, focus on what you like to do.  

Watch out for typos. I was hiring for this client once, and found a woman who was amazing. We had a skype interview and I was ready to sign on the dotting line, but at the last minute, my client looked at her profile and found a typo and said “No.” Simple as that. I was gutted, because she was really fantastic. Have someone proofread your profile, because it’s that easy for potential clients to move on to the next person.

Don’t worry about tests. Very few clients look at them. Or care. Even if you are in the top 5%. They are nice, but also, kind of a waste of time. 

Fill in your profile so that your bar goes up to 100%. Just do it. I know it’s work, but you’ll get more clients.

Set a reasonable rate for how long you’ve been on the site. Yes, I know you’d love to be paid $50 and hour, but if you’ve got zero experience or hours, you are not going to get clients. Honestly, start at $7-$10 an hour. Then after your first 100 hours, you can bump your rate up to what you think you should be getting. Why 100 hours? Because it puts you in a different search category: a better one. Wait...what are these search categories? Well, when a client is looking for someone, this is what it looks like:

See that massive jump in the number of  Freelancers (the bracket number) on the “Hours Billed” section? That means your competition decreases by more than half, and you can start to get more choosy about your gigs. 

On getting hired

Remember that thing I said about hustling? Yep. You’ve got to do that.

But here are some more tips.

Apply, apply, apply. Then apply some more. I don’t even know how many proposals I wrote in those first few weeks, but it was a lot. And here’s the thing, you can’t cheat. You’ve got to read the position, and write to them personally. All the low-end people cut and paste and never move ahead. Put some soul into it, especially at first.

Start small (I mean cheap): Although your insides might be screaming “I AM BETTER THAN THAT.” take 1-3 low paid one-off projects. Get a five-star rating and use it to propel yourself to the next freelancer level.

In the interview process: be as attentive as possible. This means responding right away to messages, and being available for interviews even if the hours are weird (remember the 4am comment? Yeah, I did that once). Follow up with them, and then follow up again. Be impressive.

On working as a freelancer

Wow! Have you gotten a gig? Good job! You rock! From here on in you are kind of a free agent, and it is between you and your client, but here are some tips.

Get really good at online communication. This means responding to emails quickly, and being clear. This means if at any point you don’t understand what your client wants: you ask them before charging them for work they didn’t need or want or is incorrect. Give them your email, Facebook and Skype, and ask them how their team communicates (Google Hangouts? Slack? Basecamp *gulp*) then be there.

Download the time tracker and stick to working when you are working. It takes three seconds to turn off the tracker, check your Facebook, and then turn it on again. But once you get a screen grab of you hanging out on Facebook, it looks bad. Also, I have come to suspect (from being caught more than once) that UpWork automatically looks for you slacking off, ie. Facebook.

Get your hours in. If they have given you hours, they expect the work to be done. Coming back without the work done with excuses and worse, not having filled up your hours? Bad. Remember the thing I said about them dropping you like you’re hot? Get the work done in the hours they’ve given you, or talk with them and discuss with them why you need fewer hours. That is far better than simply coming up short.

Getting good feedback is important. Even if this means swallowing your pride from time to time. Here is what they are going to rate you on: 

But wait: why is there public feedback and private feedback? Well, you know how you’ve got that job success thing on the side of your profile?  Over time, you get secret points. Those secret points work up to you being featured higher when the clients use the search tool. Also, you’ll get some cool perks in the future, like the Premium Freelancer program.

Lastly, and most importantly: GETTING PAID So, I have to be honest here. I have never fully figured out the timing of the payments. It goes through my PayPal, and whenever it hits a $1000 of earning, it goes into my bank account. There is a bunch of information here though. If you’d like to talk to me privately about payments (ie. Taxes and other trickier areas) feel free to message me.

I hope this gives you enough to get started. As I said before, freelancing is an amazing option if you are done with the office and dream about doing something slightly more, slightly different and have the gumption to do it. If you have any questions, want me to review your profile, or just want to talk more about freelancing— shoot me off a message, I love helping people get one step closer to freedom, be that fiscal or philosophical.

PS. Here is the list of countries I’ve been to while working as a freelancer: Austria, Belarus, Belize, Canada, Costa Rica, Croatia, Czech Republic, El Salvador, England, Faroe Islands, France, Guatemala, Germany, Honduras, Iceland, Lithuania, Mexico, Netherlands, Nicaragua, Norway, Panama, Poland, Portugal, Romania, Russia, Spain, Switzerland, Ukraine, United Kingdom, and the United States.

A Teen's Point of View on Social Apps

I read technology content articles very often and learn about quite a lot of freelance writers attempt to explain or illustrate the adolescent target audience, specifically when it comes to social media. Even so, I've still to visit a teenager offer their voice to that dialogue. I'm highly enthusiastic about social media's function in our society as well simply because how it really is presently advancing. Therefore, the perspectives stem from observation of not merely my own behaviors but also other friends' behaviors as well. I realize the simplest way to tackle this will probably be to divide by social media as well as the observations and views I've gathered year after year. Facebook In a nutshell, Facebook is out of date for almost all teenagers. Facebook is a thing we all got in school since it was cool but now, is seen while an embarrassing family dinner party we can not really leave. It's bizarre and may even end up being depressing to possess Facebook at times. That said, if you don't have Facebook, that is even more bizarre and exasperating. Weird due to the public pressure and frustrating because you need to solution that to just about everybody in classes you satisfy who makes an effort to friend you or find you on there. Facebook is typically used by us typically for its group features. I know plenty of classmates who just go on Facebook to check the groups they are part of and then quickly log off. In this component Facebook shines-groups don't have the same challenging rules in it that the news headlines feed does. It is very easy to just see the fresh information posted in the group and never have to sift through a great deal of articles and advertising you don't really care about. Messages on Facebook is also popular among our age group, mainly because they provide the methods to talk to those individuals who you were not really more comfortable with requesting their number but secure enough to send them a pal request. Facebook is usually the jumping-off point for many people to attempt to get you on-line, simply because everyone all around us offers it. In the event that I met you onetime at some special event, I'm not going to try to check Twitter to find out who you are. Rather, many choose the ease of Facebook as well as the highly effective search function that provides you results of individuals who you truly have a potential for understanding (unlike Instagram, whose search efficiency, although it improved slightly in the last update, leaves much to become desired). Snapchat Snapchat is in a short time getting to be the most used social networking application, especially with the advent of merging your Snaps to a brief history feed. In cases where I can break down a party for you personally in social media conditions, here is how it could pan out: You upload yourself getting ready for the dance, going to the special event, having fun on the dance, leaving by the end from the dance, and getting up in the morning after the special event on Snapchat. On Facebook you write about the cute, posed pictures you took with your friends at the party (definitely zero alcoholic beverages in these images). On Instagram you pick the prettiest among the bunch to publish to your profile. Snapchat is where we can really end up being ourselves while being mounted on our social identification. Without the constant public pressure of a follower count or Facebook friends, I am not really constantly having these random people shoved in front of me. Rather, Snapchat can be a somewhat romantic network of close friends who I don't care if they discover me at a party having fun. No other social apps (except Twitter probably) it really is appropriate post a bored image besides Snapchat. Generally there aren't likes you have to stress about or responses, it is most taken away.

Snapchat has a great deal less sociable pressure mounted on it compared to almost every other popular social networking network out there. This is what makes it so addicting and free. If I do not get any likes on my Instagram picture or Facebook post within 15 minutes, I'll delete it. Snapchat isn't like that whatsoever and really focuses on creating the storyplot of a day in your daily life, not some cleaned, transformed, handpicked showcase. It's the genuine you. Another quick aside about Snapchat, I only know a handful of customers (myself included) that believe Snapchat will erase your photographs. Everyone else I understand thinks that Snapchat offers some secret data source someplace with all of your pics on it. While I will save that debate for a later date, it is safe and sound to say that when images are expose or every time there is controversy about protection within the application, we truthfully usually do not really mind. We aren't mailing pictures of our credit cards here; we are sending selfies and photos with us having four chins. Twitter To be honest, most of us just do not understand the point of Twitter. There's always a key audience at every single high school that make use of it very frequently to tweet and a second clique that would make use of it to just watch or retweet, but besides that lots of avoid it. In addition, it isn't extremely easy to find friends on the webpage and many simply utilize it to complain about school in a environment where their father and mother or family (not necessarily bosses) tend not to discover it. Twitter is a place to follow or be accompanied by a bunch of arbitrary strangers, yet still have your identity be attached to this, this difference can be beneficial later on on. Your tweets will also be efficiently searchable on Twitter which is good but not good if you wish to be yourself rather than have it follow you around if you are trying to property a job. Hence, to others Twitter can be used like Facebook, you post using the assumption that your company will discover it one day. There are then 3 main groups of Twitter users: the types who utilize it to nitpick and express themselves, the types who tweet with the assumption that the prospective employer will ultimately see anything they are saying, and those who just look at other Tweets and do the occasional retweet. Instagram Instagram is the most used social application venue for teens. Please be aware the vocabulary right here, it's the most used social networking application outlet. Meaning, however the most people are on Facebook, we actually post more on Instagram. It obviously is exciting if you ask me to visit a friend with hundreds of close friends on Facebook only get twenty six loves on a photo still on Instagram (where she has 800 supporters) she draws 287. I now have several thoughts as to the motives this may show up. I'm not really fearful any time I like an update on Instagram that it'll arrive in someone's newsfeed and they are likely to either screenshot that I liked it or research it later on. The same applies to participating. I am much less required to follow somebody back in Instagram, which means my feed is often made up of content material I really need to experience. That being said, I'll keep coming back and scroll through an application that has content I enjoy instead of one where I have to look for the random gem disguising. The content on Instagram is most likely of higher level of quality. Users remember to update their photographs with many filters, work with different lighting and contrast configurations (it is also one of the techniques to posting an image), and so on., to help make the photos look the best they are able to. That suggests that the content shared on Instagram is generally a lot better (graphic-wise), therefore i am more likely to go back to the application form. Instagram was not flooded with the older generation yet (not everyone owns an Instagram profile) that means its hip and cool to the younger group. On the other hand, it is well-known enough that when you have a cellphone it's almost unheard of for you personally not to have Instagram, if never to take pictures, but to at least label users in photographs. An extra point: tagging. I need not continuously examine Instagram to make sure I was not tagged in any awkward or terrible pics. That is because you cannot very easily find these in your feed, setting up the whole experience seem to be way more discreet. Am I seeking weird in a photo you uploaded? So what?. I could just eliminate the tag if I really am that annoyed about it without dread that my friends from another friendly group (who no longer follow you) are certain to get to it initially. I understand Facebook can let you check each and every photo tagged of you before it appears on your own profile, however many people I know do not have that enabled or know it even exists. People mostly do not publish thousands of times a day on Instagram. Most are a lot more polite about publishing, often doing once a day, several times weekly, etc. Which means that there isn't any constant amount of content becoming pushed down my throat each and every time I open the application, which is possible to become caught up with my Instagram feed. A couple of no hyperlinks on Instagram, this means I'm not really being continuously spammed by the same classified ads, bad gossip news article, or news story about the "35 Brilliant Products for Your Dog You Had Not a Clue You Wished For". All those are a variety of points why a number of people my age tend to use Instagram a lot more than they in fact use Facebook. Every thing about the app makes it not as much commercial and more concentrated on this content, signifying more adolescents tend to check it out. Once we do check out the software, it is a more happy experience so we are more likely to Like and connect to the content more. That increases our connection with the software, meaning we use it a bit more. Facebook takes every single one of the images we shot, the very good one, and the terrible one, while Instagram just gets the one that really summed up the happening we visited. It is much more picky, and honestly users spend more time over the captions to make them ideal or enjoyable. In Facebook we simply provide almost everything we got therefore users can tag one another and display our loved ones that we're still functioning. A lot of those younger than me (11-15 years old) who I've talked to concerning this subject don't have even a Facebook account. Instagram is everything that they require. The Others There are other social media that some young adults employ nonetheless that may not really require a full length discussion. LinkedIn: We will have to have it, so we got it. Many wait around until college to get this (because they most likely should, it isn't because of this demographic anyways). Pinterest: It's mostly female-focused and it is for those who have an artsy or hipster concentrate. Not too many users speak about it. Kik: It's a messaging application that is mainly used for messaging users on Twitter, Maybe? I don't know any individual who needs it. WhatsApp: You download it when you go overseas, you use it there for a little bit before going back again to Fb Messenger or iMessage, then you get rid of it. I know tons of people who use it to communicate with good friends they formed overseas, but Personally i think like Messenger is definitely starting to overshadow it. For worldwide students, however, WhatsApp is a pivotal tool that I've heard is certainly useful. GroupMe: The most utilized group messaging application in college. Almost everyone has one, make use of it and enjoys it. GIF support, the ability to like others text messages, even trivial issues such as being able to adjust your moniker between group chats all make this both a useful and stress-free software. GroupMe also works for actually any phone or system such as a home pc, iPhone, Google Android, and can work over text as well for individuals who may not possess a phone.

11 Questions

@tatooine92 tagged me for the interview meme and it’s been a while since I did one of those so here goes!

Rules: 1. Post the rules, 2. Answer the questions given to you by the tagger, 3. Write 11 questions of your own, 4. And tag 11 people 

1.       What is the one name you wish humans would stop giving their children? (E.g., do you just really hate the name Bob?)

Even being a teacher, I can’t really think of one, despite the fact that there are probably a good number of names I could never stand to give my children because of negative associations with other people’s children who were disruptive or rude or anything like that.

2.       If you were offered a billion dollars but had to give up chocolate forever, would you?

Hm. Tempting. But with the taste of the double chocolate cookie I just ate still in my mouth, I would have to decline. Not giving that up.

3.       Are you a wine or liquor person?

I am a tea person… :-)

4.       What movie or book always feels like home whenever you watch or read it?

Narnia! And any C.S. Lewis or J.R.R. Tolkien book, really.

5.       Do you remember your first email address? (You don’t have to include the domain name.)

Probably my [email protected]...

6.       Would you ever consider getting a sugar daddy?

Um. No.

7.       What are your ideal pizza toppings?

Lots of veggies! And very thin crust to cut down on the carbs.

8.       What was the first video game you ever played?

Oregon Trail, probably? Or…It might have been before that that we got our first Nintendo, so it might have been Mario Brothers.

9.       If you had an afternoon entirely to yourself with zero obligations, what would you do?

Well I had that today, having stayed home sick from church, alas; and I ended up drawing art to go with the first chapter of my Lenneth/Aloth fic, then starting to draw art for the second chapter and getting distracted by needing a better angle reference of Lenneth’s face for this pose, so then I went to play PoE so I could level her up enough to take pictures in the level-gain screen, because the character sprite in the inventory window is too small for this kind of thing. Then I discovered that I’d picked up the Vailian Clothes somewhere, so now I have that plus the Ixamitl, Aedyran, and three kinds of Dyrwoodan outfits. So once I got Lenni plus a few others leveled, I took a zillion screenshots for art reference of them in EVERY POSSIBLE OUTFIT. Well, just those six outfits, plus their normal armor, plus a few extra armor that I liked the look of. Am processing them now and then uploading to Photobucket. It’s kind of epic. So far I’m only finished processing Aloth’s dressing room folder.

10.   What was the first fictional character you had a crush on?

Legolas, I think. I was…thirteen? Fanfic almost occurred, but at that age I didn’t know of the existence of fanfic and I never actually wrote anything down.

11.   And, an easy one: coffee or tea?

See #3. ;-)

Tagging 11 people: @grumpy-jedi @haledamage @fangmich @quinnlocke @shimmer-like-agirl @servantofclio @lyriumrebel @theherocomplex @queen-scribbles @storyknitter @captainofthefallen (if you wish to! Open tag to anyone else who wants to, too) for the following 11 questions:

What’s your morning routine?

If you had to pick just one creative pursuit (art, crafts, writing, music, etc.) out of those that you currently practice or dabble in, and that was the only one you could do for the rest of time, which one would you keep?

Favorite location in a video game?

A quote that encourages you?

Favorite texture – i.e. what feels best to the touch?

What do you wish people knew about you when they meet you for the first time, whether or not it’s something you actually tell them at that point?

What’s a class or course you wish you had taken when you had the chance?

Favorite kind of pet?

Favorite thing to cook?

Most indispensable item of technology you currently have?

How would you decorate your dream house if you had no limits, money-wise or otherwise?

90 Day Fiance: Season 7, Episode 4

Ooooh chile. The biggest takeaways for me this episode were thank goodness for Anny/Robert and Anna/Mursel b/c the rest of y’all sleeping on your responsibility to entertain. Let’s start with the worst and get to the best and by best I mean (5 dumpster fires out of 5 dumpster fires)

MIKE and NATALIE

We start with Mike leaving his beloved ranch in RURAL Washington state to the best side character to emerge on this show-Beau. Seriously his 10 seconds on screen was the highlight of this reel. We then flash to Natalie and her two friends in Ukraine (umm...have I been saying it wrong for years by saying-the Ukraine?) who are imitating human women going shopping. No joke, this is some earth girls are easy shit but with a gender swap. When Natalie yelled “vote!” on the dress to her two friends I had to check if they were blinking. We then get some background on Natalie via ‘exposition friend’ who she knows from work. Okay, big request to 90 day, alongside their country can you please put their profession? Everyone always says “job” “work” I NEED to know what these people are paid to do. Thank you, TLC. Natalie used to be married to a man who owned a big business. He could spoil her and give her all she wants. I needed them to call in a shady editor over from the early Rupaul’s Drag Race series to pull up some footage of the ranch. Something tells me Natalie gon be bustin out

We also hear Natalie talk about how Mike had a weight issue and that was important to her because she is such an active person. Judging by the pictures they were showing before I think Mike’s in for some serious body-shaming. He arrives and says “look at my cute little girl” and I almost vommed. Then he described her in the bedroom for a solid 60 seconds going through the entire motions of acting out a tigress and I projectile vomited everywhere. No surface in this house was left untouched. He then says hi to her mom who adores him even though neither of them can speak a word to each other and I suspect it is because the mom knows this man is her daughter’s ticket out of this home and they head off to play tigress meets the... I can’t I can. not.

MICHAEL and JULIANA

Unless I blacked out which -let’s be real is possible-they were in this episode for a solid three minutes. The kids continue to bring on wisdom well beyond their years and Juliana thinks it is a smart idea to style her hair and the daughter’s hair the same. The princess Leigh do only makes her look even younger. The kid’s bi-o-log-i-cal mother shows up and iconically states: “some women may be intimidated by someone so young, so tall, so skinny, so gorgeous, so intelligent, so traveled but I don’t have time for that.” And I said let the preacher say amen! She then says to Juliana there will be no parenting for you which- if I was 20- I’d be like fine with me brah y’all have it. I take “not mothering” to mean I’m never gonna discipline these kids, pay for anything they gotta do, and when they wanna stay up all night cool step-not mom is gonna allow it.

BLAKE and JASMIN

So we are introduced to Blake and Jasmin. It was very hard to focus because this man had straight-up JT NYSYNC bleached to high heavens Ramen hair on top and a Michael B Jordan beard in black on the bottom. But he starts describing going on a dating app after getting divorced at a young age and I’m like this looks promising. They’re about the same age, they’re both attractive, she comes from Finland which people are not fleeing in droves (in fact girl can I get trade citizenship with you- don’t ask why- it rhymes with Rump) and then a couple red flags come in each with a full music stop. The first is that this grown man lives with his parents which seems to be this season’s theme. As soon as he said that I was like hold up- hold the phone. And this is not a Norman Bates situation like Colt-e and Larissa where he is living there because his mom is his everything. This is a-I’m poor as hell and this “music thing” is me “uploading tik toks on the regular thing.” So how is he paying for this visa? The second was that Jasmin’s sister won the green card lottery and lives ten mins from Blake’s house.This got me thinking back to the  dating app they met on like hold up-he said he didn’t realize she didn’t even live in America which means this feisty minx right here probably put up like a 10-mile radius around her sister’s house. Maaaan, don’t hate the playa hate the game. Annnyyywaaay the sister and Blake drive to the airport together and the sister seems like she is not quite present. She mentions being excited to get to know Blake followed by him asking her several questions and her with the lights on, but no one home. I was very curious if Jasmin was going to have the same energy and surprise! She does. When they get back to the hotel room he says they have some alone time what should they do and she responds “shower and sleep” SAVAGE.

TANIA and SYNGIN

Now Tania pulls a move here that is a classic 90-day fiance guaranteed fail. As someone who has been watching the series since day 1 you never spend the first few days in a place waaaay better than the nowherelseville you live in. So after taking him to NY to stay in a hotel they go to CT to her mom’s shed. That’s no shade to CT but you could take me to a shed in the south of France and I’d be like I’m out. She should’ve had them share a room in an elderly home for a few days and been like surprise! private shed! On top of that she told him it was ready and it ain’t. And on top on top of that she is bossing him around to get the work done as fast as possible exactly how she wants it. If I was Syngin, I would’ve gone straight: 

and been like if we living in a shed it’s Syngin’s shed, Syngin’s rules, and Syngin’s way of life. But instead, they have an explosive fight on day 4, which is always great when you have 90 days.

ROBERT and ANNY

Now this couple is taking me on the roller coaster I was promised. This is the enterTAINTment a bitch needs! One minute I’m team Robert, the next minute I’m team Anny (to be fair I am like 85% Team Robert but you get the point). So it starts off with them going off to meet Bryson’s grandparents. The mom is out of the picture but the grandparents are not and Anny is so upset about it. I am like why is she acting so weird about this and saying they need to leave the past in the past.

Then grandma shows up....

and grandma is fooooooooiiiiiiine as all hell. I was like ooohhhh got it Anny, got it. Also, is Bryson’s mom 12? Nana Stephanie proceeds to have a very rational- if not a little invasive -conversation with Anny who is not having her at all. She is at an 11 straight out the gate. And when Stephanie reveals herself to be a porn star (Diamond Foxxx-you’re welcome) Anny is all that’s disgusting she’s uneducated. And that is some bullshit. If Stephanie wants to be a porn star, by all means, do you. Robert then takes Anny to a restaurant when she really should be in bed with some Theraflu. In this hoarse voice, Anny pulls out a bunch of screenshots of Robert’s exes on his fbook. I'm on the fence on this one. For the most part, I think it's fine if you keep up pics from old relationships but I suppose I could see why it might bother someone. Then Robert reveals Bryson is not his only child. Oh no-the man has FIVE children by four different women. That was a full mic-drop moment for me. I was like hey umm DJ run that back. Did you say five? Four baby-mamas? And where are these children?  They have been portraying this man as this savior single father and did not let us know about the other kids until episode FOUR. Well done, TLC. You go for that Emmy.

ANNA and MURSEL

With this couple I simply cannot. I have zero idea what this man’s motivations are. He does not seem into Americans or American culture and he does not seem into Anna. Is he a hostage? Honestly, I do not know. They go on a bee-keeping adventure which for them is foreplay but the man is shading Anna’s bee-keeping abilities!

She is trying to use this whole experience to set off a night with some bubbly and Boyz II men playing and he is not getting it. at. all. because neither of them understands a word the other one says. She’s all-”does my bee-keeping make you horny baby?” and he's like “bees, yes.” They’re then on their way to what I think is her bridal shower and she is telling him to talk to her friends but she literally has to hand motion “talk.” He arrives and understands nothing and no one commenting on how in Turkey only men have bachelor parties. Oh my non-alcohol drinking friend you have yet to see a bachelorette party. All her friends are confused because these two can barely communicate like even on the most basic of levels. In terms of relationships via google translator, I would put them BELOW Paul and Karine and that's a low ass standard.

So that is this week’s episode of 90 day fiancee! RIP to Angela and Michael and Sasha and Emily because they were not shown for a single second. We keep you in our prayers.

The B. B. Newman Spelling Theorem

This is a guest post by Carl-Fredrik Nyberg Brodda, a recent Masters student at St Andrews and currently a PhD student at the University of East Anglia. The story has personal resonance for me, because it turns out that B. B. Newman was a student at the University of Queensland at about the same time I was, though at a campus 1500km away from Brisbane where I studied – so perhaps I can be forgiven for never having met him. Anyway, here is the extraordinary story.

The full version of this can be found on the arXiv.

A group presentation is a very compact and natural way to define a group, and can carry a great deal of information about the group it presents. For example, if we take the presentation ⟨a, b | ab=ba⟩, we can directly read that the group it presents is 2-generated, abelian, and torsion-free, and hence must be isomorphic to Z×Z. Beyond compactness, group presentations have a key selling point: they allow us to ask questions about presentations of groups of a combinatorial nature, and, by extension, ask such questions about the groups themselves. A typical example of such a question is asking about the structure of groups defined by presentations ⟨A | w=1⟩ with only a single defining relation, commonly called one-relator groups. Examples of one-relator groups include free groups, the fundamental groups of closed surfaces, and the famous Baumslag-Solitar groups ⟨a, b | b−1amb=an⟩ for m,n non-zero integers. There is a natural partition for one-relator groups into those that have elements of finite order, the torsion case, and those that are torsion-free.

It is known that a one-relator group has torsion if and only if the defining word is a proper power of some other word, i.e. the only time that one has torsion is precisely when one expects it. A common adage in the theory of one-relator groups is that the torsion case is generally more well behaved than the torsion-free. This is in great part because of the following important result from 1968.

Theorem (The B. B. Newman Spelling Theorem) Let G = ⟨A | Rn=1⟩ be a one-relator group with torsion such that R is cyclically reduced and not a proper power. Let w∈F(A) be a word representing the identity element of G. Then w contains a subword u such that either u or u−1 is a subword of Rn, and such that the length of u is strictly more than (n−1)/n times the length of Rn.

This is similar to a spelling theorem obtained by Dehn for fundamental groups of closed surfaces, and to Greendlinger’s Lemma in small cancellation theory. There are numerous consequences of the theorem for one-relator groups with torsion, with the most important that it shows that such groups are word-hyperbolic, in the sense of Gromov, paving the way for the use of methods from geometric group theory to one-relator groups with torsion. However, seemingly no information about the history of the theorem or of B. B. Newman was available online, which led me to investigate this matter for myself.

The spelling theorem is originally from 1968, and the proof first appears in the PhD thesis of B. B. Newman, at the University of Queensland. However, this thesis was not available anywhere online, and neither was any information as to what two names the Bs were abbreviating. And so, writing to the university library, the hunt was on. Queensland knew some details about Bill Bateup Newman, born in 1936. At Queensland, he had there received an MSc and a BSc, but there was no sign of a doctoral degree, nor any sign of a thesis, nor even any record of who might have supervised Bill. They did have his master’s thesis, however, which was entitled Almost Just Metabelian Groups. There, in the preface, Bill had thanked his supervisor, a Dr M. F. Newman. After some digging, I wrote to now Prof Emeritus Michael Frederick Newman, at the Australian National University in Canberra. He knew some more: Bill’s PhD supervisor had been Gilbert Baumslag, one of the most influential combinatorial group theorists of the 20th century. This came as quite a shock, since Baumslag had been based most of his academic life at the City College of New York, more or less antipodal to Queensland.

Nevertheless, I wrote to New York, and received an email a few days later. However, this email was not from New York. Out of nowhere, I had received an email from B. B. Newman; I learned much later that Mike Newman had contacted Bill, finding his email through a colleague of a widow of a former colleague’s (?!) of Bill’s. Now long since retired, Bill filled in the pieces of the picture I was missing. His doctoral studies had started at Queensland, but not at the main campus in Brisbane. Instead, he had been based in Townsville, almost a thousand miles away, at the University College of Townsville, a college of Queensland. By 1968, he had finished writing his thesis, and was ready to graduate by 1969. Around that time, however, the college officially became James Cook University, the second university in Queensland; hence Bill was given the option to graduate with a degree from either Queensland or James Cook, and chose the latter. This explained why Queensland did not have a copy of his thesis, as no copy was ever submitted there.

As to the matter of his supervision, it was sporadic – Bill recalls a story of how Baumslag sent him a letter written on a German hotel letterhead, told him he was writing from England, and had two weeks later posted the letter from South Africa. It was enough that even Bill himself was not entirely certain on the matter. He thought it might have been Mike Newman initially, which then changed when Baumslag visited Australia in 1964: Baumslag agreed to supervise Bill, but disappeared almost as soon as he had appeared. Not long thereafter, Baumslag sent Bill a copy of a draft of a chapter on one-relator groups from a forthcoming book on combinatorial group theory by Magnus, Karass, and Solitar, and, in Bill’s own words, this was “the most useful help [Baumslag] provided”. This prompted the fruitful investigation into one-relator groups that would culminate in the Spelling Theorem.

After spending some time working with one-relator groups, Bill was due for a sabbatical leave, and Baumslag was in 1967 able to set up a lectureship for him at Fairleigh Dickinson University in Teaneck, New Jersey. This meant that the two mathematicians were able to meet face to face again. At their very first meeting, when explaining how far he had come in proving a Spelling Theorem, Bill realised that his proof was correct. Baumslag, enthusiastically, suggested that the theorem be presented at Magnus’ weekly group theory seminar at the State University in Washington Square, and this came to pass. In the audience that day were both Magnus and Solitar, two of the three who had taught Bill extensively about one-relator groups. What was more, one of these was, of course, Wilhelm Magnus, the man who had proven the Freiheitssatz, the most significant result on one-relator groups to date. Unfazed, Bill presented his results, and concluded his presentation. At that point, Magnus had a remarkable reaction. He jumped to his feet, and exclaimed for the entire room to hear: “I don’t believe this! I don’t believe this!”. In Bill’s own words, he was saying that “he could not believe that an unheard of mathematician, from some unknown university in outback Australia, could have come up with these results”. But the proof was correct.

After my correspondence with Bill, there yet remained a major unresolved issue in the recovery of the thesis. I wrote an abridged email to James Cook containing only the essentials of the story up to that point, for fear of the thesis slipping through my fingers in the time it would take them to read the entire story. Due to time differences, I woke up the next morning pleasantly surprised, having discovered that I had been copied into an overnight flurry of emails sent back and forth between the archivists, heads of research, and librarians at James Cook. Then, at last, the final email of the conversation stated that the thesis had been found, alive and well, and I could not have been happier. Shortly thereafter, I received an email containing the scanned thesis. I was able to read through the original proof, just as I had wanted, and I do not believe that I will ever read a proof with as much enthusiasm again. The thesis was later uploaded to James Cook’s online archives, and also passed on to Queensland, so that they may quickly help anyone in the future digging into the same story.

Carl-Fredrik Nyberg Brodda

from Peter Cameron's Blog https://ift.tt/3bTa7A0 from Blogger https://ift.tt/2V84pUg

A lot of you may recognize me from the post I did a few months ago regarding selling t-shirts on Amazon https://www.reddit.com/r/Entrepreneur/comments/56xvo1/how_we_made_150000_profit_slinging_tshirts_as_a and of course a ton of comments making jokes about the t shirt industry.Since Merch by Amazon (the program I was using in the old post), is still on lockdown, I am going to show you step by step how to take graphics/designs, and sell them on Amazon on 10’s if not 100 different kind of items by using the new Shopify Amazon integration combined with print on demand services to fulfill your orders. This means you can take action TODAY.Before any of you get on your pedestal about self promotion, yes, this did come from the Merch Informer blog, and yes you can do this method I am about to lay out for you 100% without using any tools. If you want to learn something, continue reading. If not, continue on with your day. Let’s do it.What Is Merch?If you have been reading what I have been posting this last year, you may be thinking about Merch by Amazon where the focus was just t-shirts. Merch, however, goes a lot more broad than that. This can include anything from funny novelty t-shirts to flags you hang on your wall, to the yoga pants that are worn to the gym and everything in between.If you have sold on Amazon before, or pushed t-shirts and realized how many customers you have access to, then you know how lucrative it can be. Shirts are just the tip of the iceberg though. If you could start selling beach towels, coffee mugs, yoga pants, flags, and any other type of merch without ever seeing or touching inventory on Amazon, imagine how your earnings would explode overnight.Why Merch?https://merchinformer.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/Amazon-revenue-1024x768.pngAs you can see from the image above, Amazon is doing it’s very best to capture as much market share as it can. That is literally all they care about, grow bigger than everyone else! At the very end of 2015, they opened yet another program to attempt to take over another sector of the market: Merch by Amazon. This program was aimed at dominating the print on demand (POD) niche, and it was an overnight success.This program allowed everyday people and designers like you and I to put up original artwork and funny says on novelty t-shirts and sell them to Amazon customers without ever dealing with customer support or touching the actual product. Amazon sold, packaged, and shipped your products and gave the designer a royalty. Earnings from early adopters were absolutely massive and in some cases into the 100’s of thousands of dollars.Unfortunately, Amazon did not expect the monster growth of the Merch by Amazon program and quickly turned it into an invite only program. Recently they have been processing so many orders that they have completely stopped accepting people to the program and people who do have an account are not allowed to publish or are allowed to publish with restrictions.https://merchinformer.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/online-retailers.pngYou can see that if you want to make money online by selling apparel, you NEED to be selling on Amazon. There is really no other way around it. By 2020 they are going to be absolutely dominating the online market place and you have the chance to be a part of it.With Merch by Amazon closed to the public, and not wanting to deal with shipping items from China or dealing with a print shop for every order, what can be done?Fulfillment by Amazon is an option, but from our experience, not a very good good one. You would have to buy the products a head of time and send them to a ware house. With Merch by Amazon, we clearly know that selling Merch hands off is the way to go!https://merchinformer.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/Amazon-Christmas.pngUse Shopify To Sell Your Merch!Many of you reading this are at least familiar with Shopify as a content management system and online store payment processor. From here, you will be able to put your products up for sale and sell them to customers who visit your site.With recent changes and Shopify integrating with Amazon, this 100% the way to go. Why?You will have access to not only T-shirts but….Tank TopsPhone CasesBeach TowelsCoffee MugsCutting BoardsStickersLong SleevesHoodiesDog BowlsFlagsBlanketsMouse PadsShower Curtainsand much more!Are you starting to see the big picture here? You can take the artwork that you created for shirts or other mediums, and turn a single image into 10s if not hundreds of different products that you will sell ON Amazon.com. No more handling inventory or trying to drive traffic to your store anymore.This is going to be a long one, so strap in, and let’s go over step by step on how to set up everything so you are no longer held back by Merch limits.Shopify Amazon Print On Demand MethodTo make this method work for you, you are going to need 4 things.Understand Amazon BSR (Best Sellers Rank) and what sells best on AmazonDesigns/ArtworkAmazon Seller AccountShopify AccountLet’s go over how I get everything set up and then we will tie them all together.Understanding What Sells on Amazon (Best Sellers Rank)The very first thing you need to do before you start your journey is understand what sells best on Amazon, how to spot these items, and how to properly research the different niches you want to create merch around. There are two very key aspects that you need to have a solid understanding of to have any success. These are Amazon BSR or Best Sellers Rank, and the second is understanding Copyright/Trademark.Amazon BSR (Best Sellers Rank)Every single product that is sold on Amazon has something in the product information called the Best Sellers Rank or Amazon BSR. It will look very similar to this:https://merchinformer.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/BSR.pngThe BSR is a representation of how well that item is selling in its respective category. The smaller the number, the more items they are selling. The higher number, the fewer items they are selling. For example, if a shirt were to hit number 1 in clothing, it would be the most popular shirt selling on Amazon.From my experience selling, a BSR of around 100,000 in clothing equates to around 1 sale per day. This is not set in stone, but 100k BSR is usually what I focus my sites on when doing niche research.Copyright/TrademarkYou also need to have a full understanding that you are not allowed to infringe on someone else’s copyright or trademarks. This means that you are NOT allowed to simply copy someones design and put it up on another piece of merchandise. Doing so would be breaking copyright laws.If someone has a particular saying in their artwork that is selling particularly well, they might decide to trademark that term. This would mean that you are NOT allowed to use this term in any of your designs even if it looks completely different.Copyright and Trademark are both different beasts so make sure you are not infringing on someone else’s intellectual property. A lot of times, you might put something up on Amazon which then gets trademarked later on down the road. They can then use this trademark to come after you and the items you put up causing infractions and an entire mess. If you have thousands of products up like we do, this can be almost impossible to keep track of. If you are at all concerned about this, make sure you are checking daily.Getting Designs/ArtworkWhen I first started, I created some designs myself. Since I am not a designer by trade, this took a lot of my time up and I had to actually watch some tutorials on YouTube to make sure I was using Photoshop correctly. Once I saw just how well my designs were selling on Amazon, I started to scale up very quickly and this meant getting a designer (or 5), on board to start cranking out original designs.Finding a good designer can be extremely hard. You want one that you can count on to be on time, every time. You also want a designer that has some integrity and will be original when you send them ideas. I have managed to hire my entire team of designers at full time for $4 per design each. This may just be personal experience but a lot of them from the Philippines and this really ads up to a great wage in that part of the world.I have found excellent success by using Upwork. Upwork is a marketplace to post jobs you are interested in completing and then hiring freelancers. Below is the script that I used to hire each one of my designers.Hey, I am in need of 400 t-shirt designs in the time period of 2-3 months.Your task will be pretty basic, I will send you ideas of t-shirts I want to make and you make them yourself in your own unique style. For example, I might send you a link of a already existing tshirt and I would need you to be inspired by it and create a better version that is in your own creative style.I will leave a lot of 5* reviews so that you will be able to get jobs easier in the future and this is a long-term position. Once we have done the first batch of 400 – around 4 per day, we could continue if everything looks good.I look forward to doing business with you!This works well for me because I always have a lot of designs for them to do because I am quickly scaling up so they will have some long term work from me. It also works well because a lot of very talented people are new to the Upwork platform and are trying to build up their profile to find other jobs. Lots of great reviews from you as a satisfied client can help them in this journey. What this means for you is that they are going to put the best effort forward in order to earn those 5 stars.Quick Note: Weeding Out Bad DesignersWhen I first tried to hire someone to design for me, they stole images and straight up copied designs. This is wrong, and will get your Merch account banned. I was not able to use any of these designs.When I first hired someone, I let them know that they cannot use any images which are Copyrighted, or infringe on any Copyright someone else owns.Then, I will send them a T-Shirt idea that is very clearly Copyright infringement. If they copy it or do not change it enough to be considered free use, I will immediately get rid of that designer (and that design). The design may have cost me $4, but that is an extremely small price to pay to weed out the copycats!Amazon Seller AccountThe next piece of the puzzle that you are going to need is is an Amazon seller account. You can sign up for one here: https://sellercentral.amazon.comThis will ask you to sign into your Amazon account and if you do not have one already, simply sign up for one.https://merchinformer.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/sign-up-for-Amazon.pngOnce you are signed up and logged in, there are few things you are going to want to do. First you will want to navigate to the upper right hand corner to “Settings” and then Account Information. It will bring you to a page that looks like this:https://merchinformer.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/information.pngFill out the Deposit information so that you are going to get paid, and the tax information. Feel free to change any of the other information but for now all that you need to change is how you get paid, and the tax information.Next, navigate to the left hand corner of that page where you should see a “Your Services” box.https://merchinformer.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/your-services.pngClick on Manage and then upgrade your account to a Professional Account.https://merchinformer.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/your-services.pngThis offers you multiple benefits. It will cost you $39.99 a month, but…No $0.99 Closing Fee for each item sold, only a monthly $39.99 subscription fee, referral fees and variable closing feesAbility to collect US sales and use taxes on your ordersCustomize your shipping rates and services levels for all products (except Books, Music, Videos and DVDs)Manage your inventory using feeds, spreadsheets, and reportsManage orders using order reports and order-related feedsAccess Amazon Marketplace Web Service to upload feeds, receive reports, and perform other API functionsAbility to offer Promotions and Gift ServicesEligibility for Featured Merchant status and listing placement in the Buy Box.Simply put, If you are selling more than 40 pieces of merchandise a month, you are much better off get a pro account so you have higher profit margins. For this method to work with shopify, a Pro account is REQUIRED.Shopify AccountGetting a Shopify account is extremely easy and they have a 14 day FREE trial. Head on over to Shopify.com and click on the get started box in the upper right hand corner.You will then just need to fill out your email address, password, and the store name you want to create.https://merchinformer.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/set-up-shopify-store.pngClick on the big green create your store button and Shopify will start setting itself up.https://merchinformer.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/setting-up-a-store-300x177.pngConnecting Shopify and Amazon For No Inventory FulfillmentNow that you have a fancy new Shopify store for free for the next 14 days, it is time to start taking advantage of what it has to offer. At first, your store will look just like this when you log in.https://merchinformer.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/brand-new-created-store-1024x631.pngIn the lower hand corner, you will see “Apps”. Click on this.https://merchinformer.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/apps.pngWhat we are looking for here is an App that will fulfill all your orders for you. This is how we are going to print on demand without holding any inventory ourselves.Search for Teelaunch. It will bring up the page for this app that looks like this:https://merchinformer.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/teelaunch-app.pngClick on the big green “get” button to install this app. You will need to quickly confirm that you want to install it on your shopify store.https://merchinformer.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/install-app.pngClick on Install App and let it do its thing. Once the app is installed, go back to the left hand side menu, and click on Apps again. We are about to set up this app and add our first product.https://merchinformer.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/teelaunch-1024x164.pngOnce you click on the app, you should see this dashboard:https://merchinformer.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/new-product-1024x303.pngClick on the Account button in the upper right hand corner. We want to make sure everything is set up to auto accept and fulfill orders.https://merchinformer.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/teelaunch-account.png https://merchinformer.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/teelaunch-account-1.pngFill out this page making sure that the top box says “YES”. You will need to add a credit card for the orders that you send Teelaunch. While you will be paying them the base price for the shirts and other merchandise orders you send them, you will be collecting the money from the sales in the Amazon central account.You will also need to set Shopify to NOT automatically fulfill orders. To do this, go into your Shopify settings -> Checkout and then in the Order processing section, unselect to automatically fulfill the order items. In most cases “Do not automatically fulfill any of the order’s line items” will be selected which is the setting you want.https://merchinformer.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/auto-fulfill-1024x513.pngAdding Your First Piece Of MerchandiseNow we are finally ready to add our first piece of merch. From the teelaunch app, you will want to click on “New Product” on the bar near the top of the page.https://merchinformer.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/shirt-choices-1024x425.pngThis is where you can see all the products that are available for you to put your designs on! Not only can you do shirts (which is what this entire tutorial is going to go over), but as mentioned above, there are so many other pieces of merch you can print and send to customers on Amazon. All without lifting a finger for the products yourself. Teelaunch will take the orders and ship them for you while you sit back and collect money off the designs and products!For this method, we are going to be using the Gildan Unisex shirt. As you can see I have chosen that one on the screen. Once a product is chosen, scroll down to the bottom and click on “Start Designing”. This will bring up the product information and give you a little information about the shipping costs. This is also the space where you can upload your artwork to the shirts and pick what sizes and colors you want the shirt to be available in.https://merchinformer.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/publish-design-1024x536.pngAs you can see, using this shirt, it will cost you $8.50 as a base price and $4 shipping. Click on “Choose File” to upload your design and then play around with dragging and dropping it as well as dragging the edges out so it displays properly on the shirt you want to list. I just took one of my Merch ready shirts to display how it would look. Pick a few colors and a few sizes.Important: You will need a separate UPC code for every single color and size variation you pick. I will go into this in detail further down, but it is best to not automatically select every color and every size.Once the design is looking good, click on Review and publish Designs. This will bring up a page where you can add product tags, add your selling price, title and description.https://merchinformer.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/setting-up-shirt-1024x535.pngOnce you are satisfied with how everything looks, go ahead and click on publish at the bottom of the page and your shirt will start processing in all the colors and variations that you have picked.https://merchinformer.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/processing-to-store-1024x328.pngThis can take a little while if you pick a lot of sizes and colors. As you can see from the above picture, I have 48 different variants of just this one shirt! Once it goes through all of them, your shirt is now published in the back end of your shopify store.https://merchinformer.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/shirt-uploaded.pngThe entire point is to publish your goods on Amazon though right? To do this, we need to connect them now.Go back to the main shopify menu and click on “Add a sales channel”. This is BRAND new from Shopify and why I am so excited!https://merchinformer.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/main-menu.pngYou can also find the same thing from the home page. It will be at the bottom. From the screenshot here, you can see you need to hit the install Amazon button to add this as a sales channel to your site.If you are new to shopify, you do NOT need to create an online store since we are interested in only selling your products on Amazon using a print on demand service (teelaunch).https://merchinformer.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/Amazon-Channel.pngOnce that is installed, you should see the sales channel added to the menu.https://merchinformer.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/Amazon-sales-channel.pngGo ahead and click on it and it will more than likely ask you to update Amazon. This is what you want to go ahead and update the sales channel.https://merchinformer.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/update-amazon-plugin.pngOnce it is updated, you will be able to access the page. From here, you want to be able to connect shopify to your Amazon sellers account we set up earlier.https://merchinformer.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/connect-Amazon-account-1024x176.pngClick on Connect to Amazon. There is going to be a popup about Amazon MWS. You will need to agree to this. Essentially this is giving Shopify access to your seller central account so they can interact with each other properly.https://merchinformer.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/agree-to-Amazon-MWS.pngOnce these are connected, you will see a screen that looks similar to this. You will see that the account is connected properly:https://merchinformer.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/account-set-up-1024x544.pngClick on the Listings in the left hand corner. We want to take the shirt we just put online and then put that shirt we created in Teelaunch onto Amazon.https://merchinformer.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/sell-on-Amazon-1024x405.pngClick on the sell on Amazon button. This will bring up a list of the products that you have on Shopify that you may want to sell on Amazon. Since we used Teelaunch to create a shirt, this is what is going to come up in the list.https://merchinformer.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/select-product-1024x419.pngAfter you select the product that you want to list on Amazon, they are going to ask you if you are selling a product from another brand, or from your own brand. Select your own brand.Note: For all the Merch by Amazon users, this is your first real opportunity to build a coherent brand and put work into growing your brand on multiple sales channels. You have full control here and will even be able to respond to the reviews you get!https://merchinformer.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/select-your-brand-1024x326.pngWhen you pick that the product is made by your brand, you are going to come to the Amazon listing details. This is going to look very familiar to you if you have sold shirts on Merch before.https://merchinformer.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/Amazon-Listing-Details-1024x540.pngEnter in the title, your brand name, the bullet points, and description. You will need to pick a category and will notice that you cannot sell the shirt for both genders at the same time. That is perfectly fine, you can go back after the shirt is live, and then sell the other genders version under the same listing.Finally, when you scroll down, you will see variants that you have chosen when you were creating the shirt. There will be one for every color and size combo that you created.https://merchinformer.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/Shirt-Varients.pngFor each variant, go through and make sure the correct colored image is showing up for the title of that variant. As you can see from the above screenshot, I made sure the Royal Blue image is showing for the royal blue variant of the shirt.SKUYou will need a unique sku for every single varient of your shirt. Your visitors will never see the SKU or the UPC, but Amazon requires you to enter this information in for every shirt Variant.For the SKU, head on over to https://www.random.org/strings/ and select the following options and click go. You can generate however many strings you need by modifying the first box.https://merchinformer.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/use-for-SKUs-1024x622.pngYou can use each line as one of your SKUs.UPCEach product and variant must have its own UPC code. These are 12 digit codes. If you have sold on Amazon FBA before, you may have used EAN. So far with the Shopify integration, these will not work so you will need the 12 digit UPC. I highly recommend buying these on Ebay. You can get 1000’s of them for only a few dollars. Once you have them, enter a unique UPC for every variant of the product.Clothing and Apparel Category ApprovalYou will notice that Shopify tells you that you need approval from Amazon before you can list in this category. Click on the “apply to sell in this category” link and open it in a new tab.Make sure you answer truthfully to these, but you will be auto approved in the end!https://merchinformer.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/apply-to-category.png https://merchinformer.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/apply-to-category-2.jpgThe next step is going to be answering some questions about the images you will use. Go through the questionnaire and make sure you answer them all properly. Remember that the images you will be using are being pulled from Teelaunch so they are all good to go with Amazon’s requirements.https://merchinformer.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/Amazon-image-requirements-1024x515.pngAfter that is complete, fill out the information and submit your application!https://merchinformer.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/submit-clothing-application.pngAfter you hit Submit Application you will now be instantly approved and can go back to your shirt listing you were working on in the other tab!Finishing Amazon ListingNow that you have your SKUs and UPCs listed on each variant of the product, it is now time to submit your product listing. If everything has been entered properly, your listing will go through!https://merchinformer.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/listing-created-30-min-to-live-1024x173.pngAs you can see from the image above, the listing has been successfully submitted to Amazon. Your listing should be listed in a pending status. This generally will change within 30 minutes to live and you will have a link to your product on Amazon.com.Note On ShippingWhen your product finally goes live and you check it, you might notice that the shipping is higher than you expected. Well, you can change this! The shipping is all controlled within your Amazon seller central account.Head on over to your Amazon account and find the Shipping Settings and then Shipping Templates. Click on Edit Template and then you will be able to pick what type of shipping you will charge your customers.As you can see from the screenshot, I decided to change shipping from $4.49 for everyone, to $2.99 for the lower 48 states.https://merchinformer.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/shipping-times-1024x461.pngROI CalculationsThis is going to vary per shirt depending on what you price at. Keep in mind that with certain products you may be making a lot larger percentage. You might be making 100% ROI with yoga mats for example.For shirts though, if you are pricing at 17 dollars, and charging 3 dollars shipping, then the total charge will be around $20. With Amazon fees around $3, and the t-shirt costing you $12.50 (cost of the shirt plus shipping) and a 30c Shopify fee, this leaves you around $4.25 profit for something you never touched! Scale that up by a few hundred if not thousands of shirts you are making great money.Scale it up even further with the multitude of products you can reuse your designs on, and now you are talking about MASSIVE money, all from your original designs.Getting Your First Sale on Shopify with AmazonNow with your listings live, you are probably going to get some sales. When you get a sale, they will show up in Shopify (as well as seller central). Make sure you are only dealing with the orders through Shopify though.https://merchinformer.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/first-order.pngGetting your first order feels great! What is even better though is that from here it is 100% hands off.If you go back down to apps and then go into the Teelaunch app, you should see this:https://merchinformer.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/teelaunch-production-1024x360.pngWithout touching it, your shirt is now being made with Teelaunch and will be shipped to your customer as soon as it is complete. This is possible for t shirts and all other products that teelaunch offers.Fulfilling Orders ManuallyIf your orders are not automatically going through to Teelaunch, you will need to do them manually. The only reason this may be happening is that the Shopify/Amazon integration is BRAND NEW and I have been assured by higher ups that this is being worked on and will be fixed soon if anyone does encounter it.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qF9EMFzsXOIGetting Revenue From AmazonIn order to get your money from your seller account on Amazon to your bank account, you need to have a few things.The first thing is that you must have valid credit card information on file for verification and billing purposes. This is why you added this when you set up your seller account. The second thing you must have is valid bank account information so a transfer can occur. This can be added in the “my profile” section of your seller central account.Basically the way it will work is that after you get a sale, it will show up in your Shopify account. Once the order is marked “fulfilled”, the buyer will be emailed to let them know that their product is on the way. The funds held within Amazon will be deposited to your account every 14 days. The good news is that you can request funds faster than that! Here is what Amazon has to say on the subject.https://merchinformer.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/amazon-payment.pngWrapping It UpThe Shopify/Amazon integration represents a REAL massive opportunity in the print on demand space and is going to see plenty of people make millions of dollars a year. In order to take advantage of this opportunity successfully you need only a few things:Know what sells on AmazonBe willing to WORK and scale your businessKnow how to properly optimize your Amazon listingsIf you are not hopping on this opportunity today, you are 100% leaving money on the table that is there for the taking. There is zero need to run traffic, zero inventory to hold, and 100’s if not 1000’s of possibilities for making money with the crazy selection of products you can now put for sale on Amazon.That about raps it up ladies and gentlemen. Any questions ask them below.

Beach House: End Of The Year Tour!

Beach house progress, both big and small, feels like it’s happening so quickly that we hardly have time to keep up with documenting it, but I did walk through the whole house yesterday and make a big ol’ video tour… which basically catches you right up to date! So excuse this post for only having around a dozen photos (we have thousands on our phones, but they’d take us all day to upload and explain, and nobody got time for that with Christmas being less than a week away).

First let’s start at the front door. We hung a wreath (from Tar-jay) and put some battery powered LED candles with timers in the windows (so they’re auto-pilot even when we’re not there). Hallelujah, the house finally looks lived in! I mean, except for the whole it-has-no-landscaping-and-I-desperately-need-to-sand-and-stain-the-front-door thing. Also I still want to paint those white blocks behind the lanterns to match the house. Someday…

lanterns / wreath / house numbers / doormat / siding: SW Mellow Coral / ceiling: SW Breaktime / trim: SW Pure White

While things are far from finished, things are even farther from where they were this time last year. This photo is from almost exactly a year ago, and looking back is a nice reminder that wrinkly curtains and an unfinished pantry are far smaller problems to work through than THE ENTIRE SIDE OF THE HOUSE BEING TORN OFF. Here’s that whole story if you missed it (yup, we literally had to have 500 square feet removed and rebuild from scratch).

SO YEAH. It’s looking a lot better at the end of 2017 than it did at the end of 2016. And weirdly enough that picture makes me excited to get started on the duplex, because as much as I love having finished walls to decorate and finished floors to arrange furniture on, the process of planning (and dreaming about) all of the potential that’s fills the air during a big demo/rebuilding project is oddly addicting. Can’t wait to share our duplex progress as soon as we have our plans approved and all of our permits pulled! But back to the pink house, where I’m walking you guys through every room in a little video tour of sorts: If you can’t see this in a reader, click through to view it on our blog or you can view it here on YouTube.

If you can’t watch the video right now, I’d definitely recommend dropping back in and catching it when you can (a video is basically worth a million photos and I pretty much cover every crevice and explain a lot of extra stuff I couldn’t squeeze into this post).

One recent update, after months and months of debate, is that we finally pulled the trigger and painted the railing. The vertical balusters had all already been painted (SW Stone Isle), so it was just that top rail and the post at the end that were “wood.” I’ll explain why that’s in quotes in a second. It’s hard to see in this picture since that front post is getting hit with a ton of light through the open door, but we went with a deeper gray tone (SW Perpetual Gray) that’s about 3 shades darker than the trim, so it accents the post and the top rail without being too crazy and compete-y with the standout stars of the entire house (those stained glass windows).

I know what some of you are thinking. NOOOO! How could you disgrace such old beautiful wood with paint?!?! Well, this railing had been covered in a thick paint-like brown stain that showed zero grain and was sticky, roughed up, and ruined in a bunch of places (covered in paint splatters, spackle globs, and decades of other issues). After attempting to sand it down, we learned it was a darker redder wood – meaning we’d never be able to stain it to match the lovely heart pine floors. So, we reasoned that a fresh coat of paint applied nice and evenly was a heckuva lot better than its current state. And it really does look glossy and lovely in person, which makes us incredibly relieved.

The good news is that we don’t have any shortage of wood tones in this house. We have original heart pine everywhere (we stripped and clear-sealed all of the original doors that we could, brought the original floors both upstairs and downstairs back to their glory, etc). This house’s middle name could be wood. Pinkie “Wood” House. Wait that sounds bad. Forget the middle name thing.

Down in the living room, we added this cool wall-mounted bookcase, which instantly made us both say “Ahhh! It looks like an actual room people live in!” We also got to hang some cozy white curtains which need DESPERATELY to be steamed and hemmed. They’re Lenda curtains from Ikea– I just cut off the top tabs and make sure to wash them to pre-shrink them before hanging. We also have them in our home office and love how washable and easy they are. Also, my secondhand brass grasshopper (aka: Brasshopper) is a total badass and I love him more each day.

bookcase / blue pillow / curtains / rods / similar brass grasshopper 

Also bought a rug from New England Loom (if you don’t follow them on Instagram you’re missing out because they have so many lovely secondhand rugs to be discovered) and the colors and patterns and antique feeling of the rug is PERFECT for a room that will be assaulted with food and sand and everything else that a rental living room has to deal with, so I have high hopes for it holding up like a champ (seeing as it is decades old already, that really does inspire confidence). That pretty blue pillow is from this Etsy shop (I love all of her pillows) and the pink one is from Target a while back. And you guys know the sofa is the Ikea Karlstad that they no longer make, which is a straight up travesty.

We also updated the light in here to this gleaming beauty from West Elm. The old light was a one-bulb fixture that we hung and immediately said “this room needs way more light.” We love the juxtaposition of this leggier modern light and the old-looking medallion (which is actually from Home Depot – shhh). And the old brick chimney that we discovered behind the wall and exposed is probably my favorite feature in the room, along with the giant windows (this room is 9′ tall, so the windows are easily over 6.5′ feet tall – that’s taller than John!). Don’t mind that TV on the floor. We found something we think will work for in there, just gotta get it out there in our next car load. #AlwaysRoadTrippingWithFurniture

rug source / chandelier / ceiling medallion /curtains / rods

The kitchen came a long way too, with the quartz island going in (it’s Pearl Jasmine by Silestone and we LOVE it so much) and a working sink. Cue the choir of angels! You can hear two ways we saved money on our quartz counters in Podcast Episode #74, which also covers why our original plan to do butcher block there didn’t work out. There are still some things missing though. Mainly, the backsplash that we’ll add after we hang the other missing element: shelves on either side of the stove under the sconces (probably two per side, not sure yet but we’ll keep you posted).

stools / quartz  / butcher block / cabinets / range: secondhand refurbished / trim: SW Stone Isle / walls: SW White Heron

The back door was blue for a hot second, which some of you might have seen on Instagram, but as the room came together more John and I both realized that the same gray as the trim (SW Stone Isle) would let the pink stove do her thing and be the accent in the room that she has always been destined to become. Plus, we have a blue chippy door leading to the mudroom nearby, and one blue door + one pink stove is… enough. You know I didn’t love painting that door twice, so if I did it, it had to be done. Ha!

green vase / wood cutting board / wood stand / hanging rod / hood / kettle / sconces / pink salt & pepper

Upstairs the bedrooms are coming along with some art up on the walls, layered cozy bedding, and even headboards. HUZZAH! Still need to hang all the curtains up there (once we do that the headboard will look exactly as wide as the window because we are tricky tricksters). Stay tuned…

rug / large art / lamp / side table / striped blanket / headboard / fan

This is another view of that front bedroom, which is the largest of the four (the bunk room is teeny tiny and the middle bedroom and back bedroom are just fine but not giant). It also has that exposed brick chimney that we discovered hiding behind the wall, and next to it you’ll see my favorite craigslist find of all time that you might have already “met” on Facebook or Instagram when I shared a quick shot of it this weekend. Yes, I really did find an inlay piece of furniture on Craiglist, and yes, it’s currently selling for $2,000 on Restoration Hardware (I got it for $400!). Insert that screaming cat emoji face here. Seriously, it’s the score of a lifetime, and I’m going to share the whole story, including how I fix up a few missing inlay spots soon. So… stay tuned. Again.

And before we move on, that sconce looks crazy small above the dresser (we just hung it as a placeholder and it’s looking like a placeholder, so we’ll probably get a wider double-sconce for that spot soon). Anyway, on with the tour! Or should I say “roll the next flashback!” This is that wall a year ago. Same house. Just nekkid a year ago versus clothed now. With walls. You get what I mean.

And now, the back bedroom. Aka: our room whenever we stay there! Although the front room is the largest and has that lovely exposed brick, the back bedroom has its own master bathroom (complete with my big beautiful clawfoot tub) and it has its own stairs that lead up to it, which are surprisingly useful. We originally thought those back stairs would be more of a fun thing for kids and a cool historic detail to preserve, but we weren’t sure we’d actually use them very much but we go up and down them all the time!

rug / fan / leather stools / striped duvet cover / pocked doors: SW Riverway

One of our bigger projects this past weekend was this built-in dresser that we added to the nook behind the pocket doors that you see above. We love gaining some storage and function in that formerly blank area at the top of the back steps, and there’s more than enough room to pull out the drawers and take like five steps back before you’d fall down the steps (you know I’d be the one to bite it all the way down these steps, so we have to make sure these things we’re adding won’t curse me later).

dresser / mirror / wood top / door color: SW Riverway

John would be quick to point out it’s not complete. We ran out of nails for our nail gun, so the trim still needs to be attached, caulked, etc. But basically, a Malm from Ikea fit pretty perfectly in the space, so we made it look even more built-in by removing and reinstalling the molding around it (see below) and adding a few skinny filler pieces to each side (scraps from our kitchen install). We also popped some leftover butcher block counter from downstairs on top to tie into the pine floors and we’re also planning to add some leather pulls to it to tie in the stools at the foot of the bed (you can see them in the shot two photos up). Can’t wait to finish it up and share the final pics!

Next let’s move onto the master bathroom, which is easily my favorite room because I get to soak in that big ol’ tub after hours of DIY and it feels so freaking good every time. Except for the first time. I had sort of a false start in there (more on that in this podcast) but now the tub and I are bros and only happy things happen when I’m in there. And the kids love it too.

marble table / floor tile / accent floor tile / wall hooks / blinds / tub color: SW Riverway

I’m basically salivating while looking at this because we’re back home and our house has two bathrooms that we still have to redo and two tubs that are about 10″ deep (half of my body sticks out like an iceberg) so I’m itching to add a deeper bathtub into my life here at home.

The hall bath is still my boo too, thanks to my favorite vanity ever. The top is tiled with marble and the rounded wood drawers make it look like a furniture piece we converted to be a vanity but it came that way and WE SALUTE IT because goodness knows we have other stuff to keep us busy. Still on the list: making built-in bunk beds, building out the pantry and the mudroom, tiling the backsplash, landscaping, etc, etc. That big round silver mirror is an awesome (and recent!) HomeGoods find (the same one in brass hangs above our mantel at home) so if you’re looking for one in either color, try HomeGoods. Target also has a really similar one that’s slightly smaller and thinner in gold.

vanity / faucet / drum stool  / light fixture / floor tile 

And although we haven’t built the wall to wall bunkbeds in our small-but-mighty kids room yet, we did hang art. And that’s half the battle, right? (Nope, half the battle is being halfway done with the bunkbeds, but let me lie to myself for a second, ok?). That cute colorful painting is from our dear friend Lesli Devito (remember when we house crashed her wayyyy back here) and if you don’t have one of her paintings or prints I highly recommend getting one. The door also got a sign that says Mermaids Welcome and it made my whole life to hang it up (also we took a poll among a bunch of kids and basically everyone is cool with mermaid and pirates, but don’t get me started on how split the group was on dolphins).

marble table / mermaids welcome plaque / art by Lesli DeVito

So there you have it: a tour as of yesterday of the beach house (remember: watch the video! it has approximately 98% more info than some pics and captions can convey). Also, we hope you have a very happy holiday surrounded by the ones you love and delicious food and all the mermaid-related memorabilia that your heart desires. And if you have a tub where your entire body can be submerged, know that I, for one, now know what I’m missing and am deeply deeply jealous.

P.S. To see the entire process of fixing up this beach house (from floor planning and demo to tiling and tiling and tiling and getting the floors redone) here’s a full category of beach house updates for you to flip through.

*This post contains affiliate links*

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Beach House: End Of The Year Tour!

Beach house progress, both big and small, feels like it’s happening so quickly that we hardly have time to keep up with documenting it, but I did walk through the whole house yesterday and make a big ol’ video tour… which basically catches you right up to date! So excuse this post for only having around a dozen photos (we have thousands on our phones, but they’d take us all day to upload and explain, and nobody got time for that with Christmas being less than a week away).

First let’s start at the front door. We hung a wreath (from Tar-jay) and put some battery powered LED candles with timers in the windows (so they’re auto-pilot even when we’re not there). Hallelujah, the house finally looks lived in! I mean, except for the whole it-has-no-landscaping-and-I-desperately-need-to-sand-and-stain-the-front-door thing. Also I still want to paint those white blocks behind the lanterns to match the house. Someday…

lanterns / wreath / house numbers / doormat / siding: SW Mellow Coral / ceiling: SW Breaktime / trim: SW Pure White

While things are far from finished, things are even farther from where they were this time last year. This photo is from almost exactly a year ago, and looking back is a nice reminder that wrinkly curtains and an unfinished pantry are far smaller problems to work through than THE ENTIRE SIDE OF THE HOUSE BEING TORN OFF. Here’s that whole story if you missed it (yup, we literally had to have 500 square feet removed and rebuild from scratch).

SO YEAH. It’s looking a lot better at the end of 2017 than it did at the end of 2016. And weirdly enough that picture makes me excited to get started on the duplex, because as much as I love having finished walls to decorate and finished floors to arrange furniture on, the process of planning (and dreaming about) all of the potential that’s fills the air during a big demo/rebuilding project is oddly addicting. Can’t wait to share our duplex progress as soon as we have our plans approved and all of our permits pulled! But back to the pink house, where I’m walking you guys through every room in a little video tour of sorts: If you can’t see this in a reader, click through to view it on our blog or you can view it here on YouTube.

If you can’t watch the video right now, I’d definitely recommend dropping back in and catching it when you can (a video is basically worth a million photos and I pretty much cover every crevice and explain a lot of extra stuff I couldn’t squeeze into this post).

One recent update, after months and months of debate, is that we finally pulled the trigger and painted the railing. The vertical balusters had all already been painted (SW Stone Isle), so it was just that top rail and the post at the end that were “wood.” I’ll explain why that’s in quotes in a second. It’s hard to see in this picture since that front post is getting hit with a ton of light through the open door, but we went with a deeper gray tone (SW Perpetual Gray) that’s about 3 shades darker than the trim, so it accents the post and the top rail without being too crazy and compete-y with the standout stars of the entire house (those stained glass windows).

I know what some of you are thinking. NOOOO! How could you disgrace such old beautiful wood with paint?!?! Well, this railing had been covered in a thick paint-like brown stain that showed zero grain and was sticky, roughed up, and ruined in a bunch of places (covered in paint splatters, spackle globs, and decades of other issues). After attempting to sand it down, we learned it was a darker redder wood – meaning we’d never be able to stain it to match the lovely heart pine floors. So, we reasoned that a fresh coat of paint applied nice and evenly was a heckuva lot better than its current state. And it really does look glossy and lovely in person, which makes us incredibly relieved.

The good news is that we don’t have any shortage of wood tones in this house. We have original heart pine everywhere (we stripped and clear-sealed all of the original doors that we could, brought the original floors both upstairs and downstairs back to their glory, etc). This house’s middle name could be wood. Pinkie “Wood” House. Wait that sounds bad. Forget the middle name thing.

Down in the living room, we added this cool wall-mounted bookcase, which instantly made us both say “Ahhh! It looks like an actual room people live in!” We also got to hang some cozy white curtains which need DESPERATELY to be steamed and hemmed. They’re Lenda curtains from Ikea– I just cut off the top tabs and make sure to wash them to pre-shrink them before hanging. We also have them in our home office and love how washable and easy they are. Also, my secondhand brass grasshopper (aka: Brasshopper) is a total badass and I love him more each day.

bookcase / blue pillow / curtains / rods / similar brass grasshopper 

Also bought a rug from New England Loom (if you don’t follow them on Instagram you’re missing out because they have so many lovely secondhand rugs to be discovered) and the colors and patterns and antique feeling of the rug is PERFECT for a room that will be assaulted with food and sand and everything else that a rental living room has to deal with, so I have high hopes for it holding up like a champ (seeing as it is decades old already, that really does inspire confidence). That pretty blue pillow is from this Etsy shop (I love all of her pillows) and the pink one is from Target a while back. And you guys know the sofa is the Ikea Karlstad that they no longer make, which is a straight up travesty.

We also updated the light in here to this gleaming beauty from West Elm. The old light was a one-bulb fixture that we hung and immediately said “this room needs way more light.” We love the juxtaposition of this leggier modern light and the old-looking medallion (which is actually from Home Depot – shhh). And the old brick chimney that we discovered behind the wall and exposed is probably my favorite feature in the room, along with the giant windows (this room is 9′ tall, so the windows are easily over 6.5′ feet tall – that’s taller than John!). Don’t mind that TV on the floor. We found something we think will work for in there, just gotta get it out there in our next car load. #AlwaysRoadTrippingWithFurniture

rug source / chandelier / ceiling medallion /curtains / rods

The kitchen came a long way too, with the quartz island going in (it’s Pearl Jasmine by Silestone and we LOVE it so much) and a working sink. Cue the choir of angels! You can hear two ways we saved money on our quartz counters in Podcast Episode #74, which also covers why our original plan to do butcher block there didn’t work out. There are still some things missing though. Mainly, the backsplash that we’ll add after we hang the other missing element: shelves on either side of the stove under the sconces (probably two per side, not sure yet but we’ll keep you posted).

stools / quartz  / butcher block / cabinets / range: secondhand refurbished / trim: SW Stone Isle / walls: SW White Heron

The back door was blue for a hot second, which some of you might have seen on Instagram, but as the room came together more John and I both realized that the same gray as the trim (SW Stone Isle) would let the pink stove do her thing and be the accent in the room that she has always been destined to become. Plus, we have a blue chippy door leading to the mudroom nearby, and one blue door + one pink stove is… enough. You know I didn’t love painting that door twice, so if I did it, it had to be done. Ha!

green vase / wood cutting board / wood stand / hanging rod / hood / kettle / sconces / pink salt & pepper

Upstairs the bedrooms are coming along with some art up on the walls, layered cozy bedding, and even headboards. HUZZAH! Still need to hang all the curtains up there (once we do that the headboard will look exactly as wide as the window because we are tricky tricksters). Stay tuned…

rug / large art / lamp / side table / striped blanket / headboard / fan

This is another view of that front bedroom, which is the largest of the four (the bunk room is teeny tiny and the middle bedroom and back bedroom are just fine but not giant). It also has that exposed brick chimney that we discovered hiding behind the wall, and next to it you’ll see my favorite craigslist find of all time that you might have already “met” on Facebook or Instagram when I shared a quick shot of it this weekend. Yes, I really did find an inlay piece of furniture on Craiglist, and yes, it’s currently selling for $2,000 on Restoration Hardware (I got it for $400!). Insert that screaming cat emoji face here. Seriously, it’s the score of a lifetime, and I’m going to share the whole story, including how I fix up a few missing inlay spots soon. So… stay tuned. Again.

And before we move on, that sconce looks crazy small above the dresser (we just hung it as a placeholder and it’s looking like a placeholder, so we’ll probably get a wider double-sconce for that spot soon). Anyway, on with the tour! Or should I say “roll the next flashback!” This is that wall a year ago. Same house. Just nekkid a year ago versus clothed now. With walls. You get what I mean.

And now, the back bedroom. Aka: our room whenever we stay there! Although the front room is the largest and has that lovely exposed brick, the back bedroom has its own master bathroom (complete with my big beautiful clawfoot tub) and it has its own stairs that lead up to it, which are surprisingly useful. We originally thought those back stairs would be more of a fun thing for kids and a cool historic detail to preserve, but we weren’t sure we’d actually use them very much but we go up and down them all the time!

rug / fan / leather stools / striped duvet cover / pocked doors: SW Riverway

One of our bigger projects this past weekend was this built-in dresser that we added to the nook behind the pocket doors that you see above. We love gaining some storage and function in that formerly blank area at the top of the back steps, and there’s more than enough room to pull out the drawers and take like five steps back before you’d fall down the steps (you know I’d be the one to bite it all the way down these steps, so we have to make sure these things we’re adding won’t curse me later).

dresser / mirror / wood top / door color: SW Riverway

John would be quick to point out it’s not complete. We ran out of nails for our nail gun, so the trim still needs to be attached, caulked, etc. But basically, a Malm from Ikea fit pretty perfectly in the space, so we made it look even more built-in by removing and reinstalling the molding around it (see below) and adding a few skinny filler pieces to each side (scraps from our kitchen install). We also popped some leftover butcher block counter from downstairs on top to tie into the pine floors and we’re also planning to add some leather pulls to it to tie in the stools at the foot of the bed (you can see them in the shot two photos up). Can’t wait to finish it up and share the final pics!

Next let’s move onto the master bathroom, which is easily my favorite room because I get to soak in that big ol’ tub after hours of DIY and it feels so freaking good every time. Except for the first time. I had sort of a false start in there (more on that in this podcast) but now the tub and I are bros and only happy things happen when I’m in there. And the kids love it too.

marble table / floor tile / accent floor tile / wall hooks / blinds / tub color: SW Riverway

I’m basically salivating while looking at this because we’re back home and our house has two bathrooms that we still have to redo and two tubs that are about 10″ deep (half of my body sticks out like an iceberg) so I’m itching to add a deeper bathtub into my life here at home.

The hall bath is still my boo too, thanks to my favorite vanity ever. The top is tiled with marble and the rounded wood drawers make it look like a furniture piece we converted to be a vanity but it came that way and WE SALUTE IT because goodness knows we have other stuff to keep us busy. Still on the list: making built-in bunk beds, building out the pantry and the mudroom, tiling the backsplash, landscaping, etc, etc. That big round silver mirror is an awesome (and recent!) HomeGoods find (the same one in brass hangs above our mantel at home) so if you’re looking for one in either color, try HomeGoods. Target also has a really similar one that’s slightly smaller and thinner in gold.

vanity / faucet / drum stool  / light fixture / floor tile 

And although we haven’t built the wall to wall bunkbeds in our small-but-mighty kids room yet, we did hang art. And that’s half the battle, right? (Nope, half the battle is being halfway done with the bunkbeds, but let me lie to myself for a second, ok?). That cute colorful painting is from our dear friend Lesli Devito (remember when we house crashed her wayyyy back here) and if you don’t have one of her paintings or prints I highly recommend getting one. The door also got a sign that says Mermaids Welcome and it made my whole life to hang it up (also we took a poll among a bunch of kids and basically everyone is cool with mermaid and pirates, but don’t get me started on how split the group was on dolphins).

marble table / mermaids welcome plaque / art by Lesli DeVito

So there you have it: a tour as of yesterday of the beach house (remember: watch the video! it has approximately 98% more info than some pics and captions can convey). Also, we hope you have a very happy holiday surrounded by the ones you love and delicious food and all the mermaid-related memorabilia that your heart desires. And if you have a tub where your entire body can be submerged, know that I, for one, now know what I’m missing and am deeply deeply jealous.

P.S. To see the entire process of fixing up this beach house (from floor planning and demo to tiling and tiling and tiling and getting the floors redone) here’s a full category of beach house updates for you to flip through.

*This post contains affiliate links*

The post Beach House: End Of The Year Tour! appeared first on Young House Love.

Beach House: End Of The Year Tour! published first on http://ift.tt/2qCHnUt

Beach House: End Of The Year Tour!

Beach house progress, both big and small, feels like it’s happening so quickly that we hardly have time to keep up with documenting it, but I did walk through the whole house yesterday and make a big ol’ video tour… which basically catches you right up to date! So excuse this post for only having around a dozen photos (we have thousands on our phones, but they’d take us all day to upload and explain, and nobody got time for that with Christmas being less than a week away).

First let’s start at the front door. We hung a wreath (from Tar-jay) and put some battery powered LED candles with timers in the windows (so they’re auto-pilot even when we’re not there). Hallelujah, the house finally looks lived in! I mean, except for the whole it-has-no-landscaping-and-I-desperately-need-to-sand-and-stain-the-front-door thing. Also I still want to paint those white blocks behind the lanterns to match the house. Someday…

lanterns / wreath / house numbers / doormat / siding: SW Mellow Coral / ceiling: SW Breaktime / trim: SW Pure White

While things are far from finished, things are even farther from where they were this time last year. This photo is from almost exactly a year ago, and looking back is a nice reminder that wrinkly curtains and an unfinished pantry are far smaller problems to work through than THE ENTIRE SIDE OF THE HOUSE BEING TORN OFF. Here’s that whole story if you missed it (yup, we literally had to have 500 square feet removed and rebuild from scratch).

SO YEAH. It’s looking a lot better at the end of 2017 than it did at the end of 2016. And weirdly enough that picture makes me excited to get started on the duplex, because as much as I love having finished walls to decorate and finished floors to arrange furniture on, the process of planning (and dreaming about) all of the potential that’s fills the air during a big demo/rebuilding project is oddly addicting. Can’t wait to share our duplex progress as soon as we have our plans approved and all of our permits pulled! But back to the pink house, where I’m walking you guys through every room in a little video tour of sorts: If you can’t see this in a reader, click through to view it on our blog or you can view it here on YouTube.

If you can’t watch the video right now, I’d definitely recommend dropping back in and catching it when you can (a video is basically worth a million photos and I pretty much cover every crevice and explain a lot of extra stuff I couldn’t squeeze into this post).

One recent update, after months and months of debate, is that we finally pulled the trigger and painted the railing. The vertical balusters had all already been painted (SW Stone Isle), so it was just that top rail and the post at the end that were “wood.” I’ll explain why that’s in quotes in a second. It’s hard to see in this picture since that front post is getting hit with a ton of light through the open door, but we went with a deeper gray tone (SW Perpetual Gray) that’s about 3 shades darker than the trim, so it accents the post and the top rail without being too crazy and compete-y with the standout stars of the entire house (those stained glass windows).

I know what some of you are thinking. NOOOO! How could you disgrace such old beautiful wood with paint?!?! Well, this railing had been covered in a thick paint-like brown stain that showed zero grain and was sticky, roughed up, and ruined in a bunch of places (covered in paint splatters, spackle globs, and decades of other issues). After attempting to sand it down, we learned it was a darker redder wood – meaning we’d never be able to stain it to match the lovely heart pine floors. So, we reasoned that a fresh coat of paint applied nice and evenly was a heckuva lot better than its current state. And it really does look glossy and lovely in person, which makes us incredibly relieved.

The good news is that we don’t have any shortage of wood tones in this house. We have original heart pine everywhere (we stripped and clear-sealed all of the original doors that we could, brought the original floors both upstairs and downstairs back to their glory, etc). This house’s middle name could be wood. Pinkie “Wood” House. Wait that sounds bad. Forget the middle name thing.

Down in the living room, we added this cool wall-mounted bookcase, which instantly made us both say “Ahhh! It looks like an actual room people live in!” We also got to hang some cozy white curtains which need DESPERATELY to be steamed and hemmed. They’re Lenda curtains from Ikea– I just cut off the top tabs and make sure to wash them to pre-shrink them before hanging. We also have them in our home office and love how washable and easy they are. Also, my secondhand brass grasshopper (aka: Brasshopper) is a total badass and I love him more each day.

bookcase / blue pillow / curtains / rods / similar brass grasshopper 

Also bought a rug from New England Loom (if you don’t follow them on Instagram you’re missing out because they have so many lovely secondhand rugs to be discovered) and the colors and patterns and antique feeling of the rug is PERFECT for a room that will be assaulted with food and sand and everything else that a rental living room has to deal with, so I have high hopes for it holding up like a champ (seeing as it is decades old already, that really does inspire confidence). That pretty blue pillow is from this Etsy shop (I love all of her pillows) and the pink one is from Target a while back. And you guys know the sofa is the Ikea Karlstad that they no longer make, which is a straight up travesty.

We also updated the light in here to this gleaming beauty from West Elm. The old light was a one-bulb fixture that we hung and immediately said “this room needs way more light.” We love the juxtaposition of this leggier modern light and the old-looking medallion (which is actually from Home Depot – shhh). And the old brick chimney that we discovered behind the wall and exposed is probably my favorite feature in the room, along with the giant windows (this room is 9′ tall, so the windows are easily over 6.5′ feet tall – that’s taller than John!). Don’t mind that TV on the floor. We found something we think will work for in there, just gotta get it out there in our next car load. #AlwaysRoadTrippingWithFurniture

rug source / chandelier / ceiling medallion /curtains / rods

The kitchen came a long way too, with the quartz island going in (it’s Pearl Jasmine by Silestone and we LOVE it so much) and a working sink. Cue the choir of angels! You can hear two ways we saved money on our quartz counters in Podcast Episode #74, which also covers why our original plan to do butcher block there didn’t work out. There are still some things missing though. Mainly, the backsplash that we’ll add after we hang the other missing element: shelves on either side of the stove under the sconces (probably two per side, not sure yet but we’ll keep you posted).

stools / quartz  / butcher block / cabinets / range: secondhand refurbished / trim: SW Stone Isle / walls: SW White Heron

The back door was blue for a hot second, which some of you might have seen on Instagram, but as the room came together more John and I both realized that the same gray as the trim (SW Stone Isle) would let the pink stove do her thing and be the accent in the room that she has always been destined to become. Plus, we have a blue chippy door leading to the mudroom nearby, and one blue door + one pink stove is… enough. You know I didn’t love painting that door twice, so if I did it, it had to be done. Ha!

green vase / wood cutting board / wood stand / hanging rod / hood / kettle / sconces / pink salt & pepper

Upstairs the bedrooms are coming along with some art up on the walls, layered cozy bedding, and even headboards. HUZZAH! Still need to hang all the curtains up there (once we do that the headboard will look exactly as wide as the window because we are tricky tricksters). Stay tuned…

rug / large art / lamp / side table / striped blanket / headboard / fan

This is another view of that front bedroom, which is the largest of the four (the bunk room is teeny tiny and the middle bedroom and back bedroom are just fine but not giant). It also has that exposed brick chimney that we discovered hiding behind the wall, and next to it you’ll see my favorite craigslist find of all time that you might have already “met” on Facebook or Instagram when I shared a quick shot of it this weekend. Yes, I really did find an inlay piece of furniture on Craiglist, and yes, it’s currently selling for $2,000 on Restoration Hardware (I got it for $400!). Insert that screaming cat emoji face here. Seriously, it’s the score of a lifetime, and I’m going to share the whole story, including how I fix up a few missing inlay spots soon. So… stay tuned. Again.

And before we move on, that sconce looks crazy small above the dresser (we just hung it as a placeholder and it’s looking like a placeholder, so we’ll probably get a wider double-sconce for that spot soon). Anyway, on with the tour! Or should I say “roll the next flashback!” This is that wall a year ago. Same house. Just nekkid a year ago versus clothed now. With walls. You get what I mean.

And now, the back bedroom. Aka: our room whenever we stay there! Although the front room is the largest and has that lovely exposed brick, the back bedroom has its own master bathroom (complete with my big beautiful clawfoot tub) and it has its own stairs that lead up to it, which are surprisingly useful. We originally thought those back stairs would be more of a fun thing for kids and a cool historic detail to preserve, but we weren’t sure we’d actually use them very much but we go up and down them all the time!

rug / fan / leather stools / striped duvet cover / pocked doors: SW Riverway

One of our bigger projects this past weekend was this built-in dresser that we added to the nook behind the pocket doors that you see above. We love gaining some storage and function in that formerly blank area at the top of the back steps, and there’s more than enough room to pull out the drawers and take like five steps back before you’d fall down the steps (you know I’d be the one to bite it all the way down these steps, so we have to make sure these things we’re adding won’t curse me later).

dresser / mirror / wood top / door color: SW Riverway

John would be quick to point out it’s not complete. We ran out of nails for our nail gun, so the trim still needs to be attached, caulked, etc. But basically, a Malm from Ikea fit pretty perfectly in the space, so we made it look even more built-in by removing and reinstalling the molding around it (see below) and adding a few skinny filler pieces to each side (scraps from our kitchen install). We also popped some leftover butcher block counter from downstairs on top to tie into the pine floors and we’re also planning to add some leather pulls to it to tie in the stools at the foot of the bed (you can see them in the shot two photos up). Can’t wait to finish it up and share the final pics!

Next let’s move onto the master bathroom, which is easily my favorite room because I get to soak in that big ol’ tub after hours of DIY and it feels so freaking good every time. Except for the first time. I had sort of a false start in there (more on that in this podcast) but now the tub and I are bros and only happy things happen when I’m in there. And the kids love it too.

marble table / floor tile / accent floor tile / wall hooks / blinds / tub color: SW Riverway

I’m basically salivating while looking at this because we’re back home and our house has two bathrooms that we still have to redo and two tubs that are about 10″ deep (half of my body sticks out like an iceberg) so I’m itching to add a deeper bathtub into my life here at home.

The hall bath is still my boo too, thanks to my favorite vanity ever. The top is tiled with marble and the rounded wood drawers make it look like a furniture piece we converted to be a vanity but it came that way and WE SALUTE IT because goodness knows we have other stuff to keep us busy. Still on the list: making built-in bunk beds, building out the pantry and the mudroom, tiling the backsplash, landscaping, etc, etc. That big round silver mirror is an awesome (and recent!) HomeGoods find (the same one in brass hangs above our mantel at home) so if you’re looking for one in either color, try HomeGoods. Target also has a really similar one that’s slightly smaller and thinner in gold.

vanity / faucet / drum stool  / light fixture / floor tile 

And although we haven’t built the wall to wall bunkbeds in our small-but-mighty kids room yet, we did hang art. And that’s half the battle, right? (Nope, half the battle is being halfway done with the bunkbeds, but let me lie to myself for a second, ok?). That cute colorful painting is from our dear friend Lesli Devito (remember when we house crashed her wayyyy back here) and if you don’t have one of her paintings or prints I highly recommend getting one. The door also got a sign that says Mermaids Welcome and it made my whole life to hang it up (also we took a poll among a bunch of kids and basically everyone is cool with mermaid and pirates, but don’t get me started on how split the group was on dolphins).

marble table / mermaids welcome plaque / art by Lesli DeVito

So there you have it: a tour as of yesterday of the beach house (remember: watch the video! it has approximately 98% more info than some pics and captions can convey). Also, we hope you have a very happy holiday surrounded by the ones you love and delicious food and all the mermaid-related memorabilia that your heart desires. And if you have a tub where your entire body can be submerged, know that I, for one, now know what I’m missing and am deeply deeply jealous.

P.S. To see the entire process of fixing up this beach house (from floor planning and demo to tiling and tiling and tiling and getting the floors redone) here’s a full category of beach house updates for you to flip through.

*This post contains affiliate links*

The post Beach House: End Of The Year Tour! appeared first on Young House Love.

Beach House: End Of The Year Tour! published first on http://ift.tt/2r6hzQy

Beach House: End Of The Year Tour!

Beach house progress, both big and small, feels like it’s happening so quickly that we hardly have time to keep up with documenting it, but I did walk through the whole house yesterday and make a big ol’ video tour… which basically catches you right up to date! So excuse this post for only having around around a dozen photos (we have thousands on our phones, but they’d take us all day to upload and explain, and nobody got time for that with Christmas being less than a week away).

First let’s start at the front door. We hung a wreath (from Tar-jay) and put some battery powered LED candles with timers in the windows (so they’re auto-pilot even when we’re not there). Hallelujah, the house finally looks lived in! I mean, except for the whole it-has-no-landscaping-and-I-desperately-need-to-sand-and-stain-the-front-door thing. Also I still want to paint those white blocks behind the lanterns to match the house. Someday…

lanterns / wreath / house numbers / doormat / siding: SW Mellow Coral / ceiling: SW Breaktime / trim: SW Pure White

While things are far from finished, things are even farther from where they were this time last year. This photo is from almost exactly a year ago, and looking back is a nice reminder that wrinkly curtains and an unfinished pantry are far smaller problems to work through than THE ENTIRE SIDE OF THE HOUSE BEING TORN OFF. Here’s that whole story if you missed it (yup, we literally had to have 500 square feet removed and rebuild from scratch).

SO YEAH. It’s looking a lot better at the end of 2017 than it did at the end of 2016. And weirdly enough that picture makes me excited to get started on the duplex, because as much as I love having finished walls to decorate and finished floors to arrange furniture on, the process of planning (and dreaming about) all of the potential that’s fills the air during a big demo/rebuilding project is oddly addicting. Can’t wait to share our duplex progress as soon as we have our plans approved and all of our permits pulled! But back to the pink house, where I’m walking you guys through every room in a little video tour of sorts: If you can’t see this in a reader, click through to view it on our blog or you can view it here on YouTube.

If you can’t watch the video right now, I’d definitely recommend dropping back in and catching it when you can (a video is basically worth a million photos and I pretty much cover every crevice and explain a lot of extra stuff I couldn’t squeeze into this post).

One recent update, after months and months of debate, is that we finally pulled the trigger and painted the railing. The vertical balusters had all already been painted (SW Stone Isle), so it was just that top rail and the post at the end that were “wood.” I’ll explain why that’s in quotes in a second. It’s hard to see in this picture since that front post is getting hit with a ton of light through the open door, but we went with a deeper gray tone (SW Perpetual Gray) that’s about 3 shades darker than the trim, so it accents the post and the top rail without being too crazy and compete-y with the standout stars of the entire house (those stained glass windows).

I know what some of you are thinking. NOOOO! How could you disgrace such old beautiful wood with paint?!?! Well, this railing had been covered in a thick paint-like brown stain that showed zero grain and was sticky, roughed up, and ruined in a bunch of places (covered in paint splatters, spackle globs, and decades of other issues). After attempting to sand it down, we learned it was a darker redder wood – meaning we’d never be able to stain it to match the lovely heart pine floors. So, we reasoned that a fresh coat of paint applied nice and evenly was a heckuva lot better than its current state. And it really does look glossy and lovely in person, which makes us incredibly relieved.

The good news is that we don’t have any shortage of wood tones in this house. We have original heart pine everywhere (we stripped and clear-sealed all of the original doors that we could, brought the original floors both upstairs and downstairs back to their glory, etc). This house’s middle name could be wood. Pinkie “Wood” House. Wait that sounds bad. Forget the middle name thing.

Down in the living room, we added this cool wall-mounted bookcase, which instantly made us both say “Ahhh! It looks like an actual room people live in!” We also got to hang some cozy white curtains which need DESPERATELY to be steamed and hemmed. They’re Lenda curtains from Ikea– I just cut off the top tabs and make sure to wash them to pre-shrink them before hanging. We also have them in our home office and love how washable and easy they are. Also, my secondhand brass grasshopper (aka: Brasshopper) is a total badass and I love him more each day.

bookcase / blue pillow / curtains / rods / similar brass grasshopper 

Also bought a rug from New England Loom (if you don’t follow them on Instagram you’re missing out because they have so many lovely secondhand rugs to be discovered) and the colors and patterns and antique feeling of the rug is PERFECT for a room that will be assaulted with food and sand and everything else that a rental living room has to deal with, so I have high hopes for it holding up like a champ (seeing as it is decades old already, that really does inspire confidence). That pretty blue pillow is from this Etsy shop (I love all of her pillows) and the pink one is from Target a while back. And you guys know the sofa is the Ikea Karlstad that they no longer make, which is a straight up travesty.

We also updated the light in here to this gleaming beauty from West Elm. The old light was a one-bulb fixture that we hung and immediately said “this room needs way more light.” We love the juxtaposition of this leggier modern light and the old-looking medallion (which is actually from Home Depot – shhh). And the old brick chimney that we discovered behind the wall and exposed is probably my favorite feature in the room, along with the giant windows (this room is 9′ tall, so the windows are easily over 6.5′ feet tall – that’s taller than John!). Don’t mind that TV on the floor. We found something we think will work for in there, just gotta get it out there in our next car load. #AlwaysRoadTrippingWithFurniture

rug source / chandelier / ceiling medallion /curtains / rods

The kitchen came a long way too, with the quartz island going in (it’s Pearl Jasmine by Silestone and we LOVE it so much) and a working sink. Cue the choir of angels! You can hear two ways we saved money on our quartz counters in Podcast Episode #74, which also covers why our original plan to do butcher block there didn’t work out. There are still some things missing though. Mainly, the backsplash that we’ll add after we hang the other missing element: shelves on either side of the stove under the sconces (probably two per side, not sure yet but we’ll keep you posted).

stools / quartz  / butcher block / cabinets / range: secondhand refurbished / trim: SW Stone Isle / walls: SW White Heron

The back door was blue for a hot second, which some of you might have seen on Instagram, but as the room came together more John and I both realized that the same gray as the trim (SW Stone Isle) would let the pink stove do her thing and be the accent in the room that she has always been destined to become. Plus, we have a blue chippy door leading to the mudroom nearby, and one blue door + one pink stove is… enough. You know I didn’t love painting that door twice, so if I did it, it had to be done. Ha!

green vase / wood cutting board / wood stand / hanging rod / hood / kettle / sconces / pink salt & pepper

Upstairs the bedrooms are coming along with some art up on the walls, layered cozy bedding, and even headboards. HUZZAH! Still need to hang all the curtains up there (once we do that the headboard will look exactly as wide as the window because we are tricky tricksters). Stay tuned…

rug / large art / lamp / side table / striped blanket / headboard / fan

This is another view of that front bedroom, which is the largest of the four (the bunk room is teeny tiny and the middle bedroom and back bedroom are just fine but not giant). It also has that exposed brick chimney that we discovered hiding behind the wall, and next to it you’ll see my favorite craigslist find of all time that you might have already “met” on Facebook or Instagram when I shared a quick shot of it this weekend. Yes, I really did find an inlay piece of furniture on Craiglist, and yes, it’s currently selling for $2,000 on Restoration Hardware (I got it for $400!). Insert that screaming cat emoji face here. Seriously, it’s the score of a lifetime, and I’m going to share the whole story, including how I fix up a few missing inlay spots soon. So… stay tuned. Again.

And before we move on, that sconce looks crazy small above the dresser (we just hung it as a placeholder and it’s looking like a placeholder, so we’ll probably get a wider double-sconce for that spot soon). Anyway, on with the tour! Or should I say “roll the next flashback!” This is that wall a year ago. Same house. Just nekkid a year ago versus clothed now. With walls. You get what I mean.

And now, the back bedroom. Aka: our room whenever we stay there! Although the front room is the largest and has that lovely exposed brick, the back bedroom has its own master bathroom (complete with my big beautiful clawfoot tub) and it has its own stairs that lead up to it, which are surprisingly useful. We originally thought those back stairs would be more of a fun thing for kids and a cool historic detail to preserve, but we weren’t sure we’d actually use them very much but we go up and down them all the time!

rug / fan / leather stools / striped duvet cover / pocked doors: SW Riverway

One of our bigger projects this past weekend was this built-in dresser that we added to the nook behind the pocket doors that you see above. We love gaining some storage and function in that formerly blank area at the top of the back steps, and there’s more than enough room to pull out the drawers and take like five steps back before you’d fall down the steps (you know I’d be the one to bite it all the way down these steps, so we have to make sure these things we’re adding won’t curse me later).

dresser / mirror / wood top / door color: SW Riverway

John would be quick to point out it’s not complete. We ran out of nails for our nail gun, so the trim still needs to be attached, caulked, etc. But basically, a Malm from Ikea fit pretty perfectly in the space, so we made it look even more built-in by removing and reinstalling the molding around it (see below) and adding a few skinny filler pieces to each side (scraps from our kitchen install). We also popped some leftover butcher block counter from downstairs on top to tie into the pine floors and we’re also planning to add some leather pulls to it to tie in the stools at the foot of the bed (you can see them in the shot two photos up). Can’t wait to finish it up and share the final pics!

Next let’s move onto the master bathroom, which is easily my favorite room because I get to soak in that big ol’ tub after hours of DIY and it feels so freaking good every time. Except for the first time. I had sort of a false start in there (more on that in this podcast) but now the tub and I are bros and only happy things happen when I’m in there. And the kids love it too.

marble table / floor tile / accent floor tile / wall hooks / blinds / tub color: SW Riverway

I’m basically salivating while looking at this because we’re back home and our house has two bathrooms that we still have to redo and two tubs that are about 10″ deep (half of my body sticks out like an iceberg) so I’m itching to add a deeper bathtub into my life here at home.

The hall bath is still my boo too, thanks to my favorite vanity ever. The top is tiled with marble and the rounded wood drawers make it look like a furniture piece we converted to be a vanity but it came that way and WE SALUTE IT because goodness knows we have other stuff to keep us busy. Still on the list: making built-in bunk beds, building out the pantry and the mudroom, tiling the backsplash, landscaping, etc, etc. That big round silver mirror is an awesome (and recent!) HomeGoods find (the same one in brass hangs above our mantel at home) so if you’re looking for one in either color, try HomeGoods. Target also has a really similar one that’s slightly smaller and thinner in gold.

vanity / faucet / drum stool  / light fixture / floor tile 

And although we haven’t built the wall to wall bunkbeds in our small-but-mighty kids room yet, we did hang art. And that’s half the battle, right? (Nope, half the battle is being halfway done with the bunkbeds, but let me lie to myself for a second, ok?). That cute colorful painting is from our dear friend Lesli Devito (remember when we house crashed her wayyyy back here) and if you don’t have one of her paintings or prints I highly recommend getting one. The door also got a sign that says Mermaids Welcome and it made my whole life to hang it up (also we took a poll among a bunch of kids and basically everyone is cool with mermaid and pirates, but don’t get me started on how split the group was on dolphins).

marble table / mermaids welcome plaque / art by Lesli DeVito

So there you have it: a tour as of yesterday of the beach house (remember: watch the video! it has approximately 98% more info than some pics and captions can convey). Also, we hope you have a very happy holiday surrounded by the ones you love and delicious food and all the mermaid-related memorabilia that your heart desires. And if you have a tub where your entire body can be submerged, know that I, for one, now know what I’m missing and am deeply deeply jealous.

P.S. To see the entire process of fixing up this beach house (from floor planning and demo to tiling and tiling and tiling and getting the floors redone) here’s a full category of beach house updates for you to flip through.

*This post contains affiliate links*

The post Beach House: End Of The Year Tour! appeared first on Young House Love.

Beach House: End Of The Year Tour! published first on http://ift.tt/2uiWrIt