#god i have so much to do today and instead i procrastinate with this | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

unforth · 6 months

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I had a day off yesterday.

And I can already practically hear the assumptions that such a statement is prompting the reader to make. Those assumptions are wrong. I don't mean I didn't work. I did, for about 8 hours. That's not at all what I mean.

I mean my wife took the kids out at 9:30, spent the night with her mom, isn't back yet the next morning.

There are things I NEED people on this website to understand about parenting. And I've talked about it before, and I'll talk about it again, because honestly the way that Tumblr as a cohort talks about parents makes me sick. Multiple polls have shown that only about 2% of people on here are parents. We're a huge minority, and we're constantly talked over, ignored, or accused of being bad parents (like, personally, I have had people reply to my comments or come on to my posts and tell me I shouldn't have my kids). In my case, being a parent means I'm almost 41, I'm married to @ramblingandpie, and our children are inching up on being 8 and 6 years old.

My entire day, and therefore my entire life, revolves around them. I'm up most mornings at 5 AM, because that's the earliest they're "allowed" to wake up, and so my brain just defaults to being awake around then - better to wake up before them, at least then I get a few minutes in the morning. Between 5 and 7, I sit with them, do my social media, work on side blogs, study Chinese. Then it's helping them get ready for school, then my wife or I or both get them on the bus, and then I work until the last possible minute, which is either when I need to go pick them up for an after school activity or when I need to go down and meet them off the bus. My afternoons are after school activities, chores such as washing the dishes and cleaning up toys, talking with them, working with them, playing with them. Their bedtime starts at 7:40, and my son gets scared if I leave before he falls asleep so I sit with him until about 8:15. As soon as he's asleep, I go fall on my face, sleep as best I can, then wake up and do it again. Overnight, it's hard to sleep deeply, because about once a week someone will wake up in the middle of the night and need help. That could be as minimal as a hug or as complex as having to completely change the bedding on a bunk bed at 2 AM while also comforting a child who is afraid they'll be in trouble, or afraid they're sick, or afraid of their nightmare, or, or, or. Further, if a child is awake, there is always noise. I usually study Chinese with two or more competing sources of noise. I read the same way. My life is loud, and active, and consists of constant interruptions.

I adore my family, and I love my children, but this is terrible for me.

I do all of this as an neurodivergent introvert. My clinical depression is at least medicated, mostly because post-partum depression after I gave birth the first time nearly drove me to suicidal in under a week (we were expecting this and were prepared, fortunately, getting help was as simple as a phone call). The constant noise and interruptions and forced socialibility are about the worst combination of home-life I could be subjected to. I spend far too many early mornings just breathing deeply and gearing myself up to be subjected to the wall of Loud, Boisterous, Needing-My-Attention that is every minute when anyone else in the house is awake.

So what did my day off look like?

I helped get the kids ready to go and did some morning chores. I'd been up at 4:30 AM so I also had already social media'd and studied. Then, while my wife finished the preparations, I started work, and I worked from about 8 am to about 4 pm, straight. I didn't get hungry so didn't bother stopping for lunch. No one interrupted me, no one asked me to look at anything they'd built, no one broke my concentration, no sounds could be heard except those I'd chosen myself.

I'd been out the day before at a local shopping street and listened closely to the things the kids said they wanted, so at 4 I grabbed a couple orders I needed to ship for work and drove to our local downtown, dropped the orders in a post box, then went back to the shops and did some Christmas shopping in the 45 minutes or so before everything closed. I think I'm basically done with what we'll get them - other bigger things will be left to grand parents - so that's a load off, I literally had a stress dream earlier this week about it being 12/24 and having forgotten to do the shopping and having to go to (oh horrors) the mall on the day before Christmas. (Reminder: I'm a Jewish atheist. It's just virtually impossible not to Holiday in the Culturally Christian Hellscape that is the US. Also, my wife is Christian. So.) Found something cute for my wife, too, even tho I already know the main thing I'm getting her. Then, I realized - one of my favorite restaurants is on that block. So. I went there. I sat by myself at a table, only the indistinct restaurant hubbub around me. I read four or five chapters of my book, and ate a savory crepe, and drank lovely fruit tea, and got a scone to-go that I'll eat for lunch today. It was more than I probably should have spent on myself - about $25, including tip - but fuck it. I only get maybe a handful of days off all year, and I'm allowed to indulge a little.

Then I came home. There were no lights on. There was no noise. I had considered doing some more merch work while watching TV on the actual television (my kids are too young for subtitled shows, so usually if I want to watch My Shows I either have to do it on my computer when they're not around, or put them on and read all the subtitles aloud while trying to keep up and process the actual meaning of what I'm reading). But when I got back, the quiet and dark was so goddamn NICE that instead I curled up on the couch and read more of my book. I did that until bedtime - still about 8:15, because I'm exhausted. Then...I went to bed. And I slept long and deep, knowing that there was no chance I'd be interrupted and woken up, I didn't have to be, even in sleep, alert to every noise and possibility that I'd be needed.

I'm still exhausted and burned out, but even one night to myself felt really, really nice.

Saying "Tumblr does X" as a universal statement is doomed to failure, but generally speaking, the parenting posts I see on Tumblr, the ones with tens or hundreds of thousands of notes, speak what's apparently widely seen as a truism on here: that unless someone wants to spend 24/7 with their kids, to be 100% emotionally available at all times, is always kind and patient and perfect, they are a bad parent, maybe even abusive. I remember when covid started, there were multiple posts actively mocking the "oh god, my kids are now home all the time, how am I supposed to do this?" attitude that a lot of parents posted in despair. WhY dId YoU hAvE kIdS iF yOu DoN't WaNt To SpEnD tImE wItH tHeM?

Look at what my usual day looks like.

Look at what my day off looked like.

Do you really think I don't want to spend time with my kids? Do you really think I don't love my kids?

But I'm not a fucking MACHINE. I'm a PERSON. That's what people on Tumblr seem to forget. PARENTS ARE PEOPLE. The same tumblrinas who post ~uwu be kind to yourself rest if you need to, you should forgive yourself for that mistake you made~ will turn around, with zero sense of irony, and post "you're a bad parent if you ever raise your voice around a child."

Expecting parents to be perfect means expecting parents to be inhuman. It also means that a parent can't be poor (can't spend all your time being the perfect parent if you have to work multiple jobs or weird hours!), can't be introverted (can't be a perfect parent if you're not completely emotional available, god forbid socializing is exhausting for you), can't be on the ADHD or autism spectrum (what do you mean you forgot to get your kid to a doctor's appointment once? what do you mean over-stimulation can make you angry? how dare you get angry at a kid!), can't be depressed (gotta get out of bed every single day, gotta always be upbeat, patient, happy, or else that's Evil), can't be (like my wife) physically disabled (what do you mean your hands hurt too much to hold a child's hand? are you denying them touch?? CRUEL). And when the only answer you can offer to that is, "if you can't be that perfect you shouldn't be a parent," then you're saying people who aren't middle class to wealthy, people who aren't neurotypical, people who aren't physically able, shouldn't have children.

And honestly...what the fuck is your problem?

I'm not perfect. I tell my kids to just leave me alone sometimes. I raise my voice, especially when one of my kids starts punching the other, but also sometimes just cause I'm exhausted and Can't Anymore. I've forgotten an appointment by accident and felt like a total fucking idiot, and I've skipped an after school activity because I just wasn't up for taking them. I've served them more unbalanced, unhealthy meals than I can count. I've made many, many mistakes, but I've also done my best, and I love my kids, and I hope that when they grow up, they'll still love me even as they recognize that I wasn't perfect, just as I've come to accept my own parents' short-comings while still loving them very much. They're people, too, and the older I get, the more I understand where they were coming from.

When I fuck up, I apologize.

When they tell me they're unhappy with something I've done, I apologize, and I try to do better. Sometimes I even succeed.

This shit is hard, yo. And it's getting harder every year.

I'm BEGGING Tumblr: you need to start seeing parents as people. The way y'all talk about parenting on here is toxic, and genuinely harmful, and frankly exhausting. You have no idea what the reality of raising kids is like, and you need to shut the entire fuck up.

I had a day off yesterday.

I might get one more before the end of 2023.

I already can't wait. I am so, so, so tired. sigh

(if you actually read this whole rant and even a single word of it resonated for you, please reblog it. I'm tired of never seeing positive posts about parenting while I see negative ones with a bajillion notes.)

#unforth rambles #parenting #momblr #nothing prompted this #i just think about writing posts like this all the time #because the low-level background buzz of how much tumblr hates parents is a constant stressor tbh #and every once and a while i tip over the line end up Writing the Thing #and so here we are again #god i have so much to do today and instead i procrastinate with this #oops

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cheekblush · 2 years

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having a mental breakdown over school starting again tomorrow

#like the new school year hasn't even started yet & i'm already overwhelmed #i'm honestly sooo anxious every time i look at my new schedule i get nauseous it's just waaaay too much #there are papers scattered all over my bedroom bc the night before school starts i finally remembered to sort out my folders 🙃#i can't stand myself like i always put myself through so much unnecessary stress bc i procrastinate so much 😩#we have a test immediately in the first week as well and i haven't studied anything yet someone kill me 🤐#i also need to catch up with a laboratory day i missed before the summer holidays & i need to prepare 4 protocols for that...#and you guessed it right... i haven't started with that either 😶#at least i managed to do 5 loads of laundry today which i also should've done way sooner...#i should be ironing my clothes but i just want to sleep.... god i'm such a mess #like i'm already done with this school year and it hasn't even started yet 😭😭😭#i'll be struggling sooooo much this year going in witch such a negative outlook girl heeeeelllpppp 😭🧎🏼‍♀️🤕🤸🏼‍♀️🕳💀#i feel like such ungrateful bitch rn like education is such a privilege but like why does it have to be so mentally taxing??? 😭😭😭#pls pray for me that things start looking up for me like i have absolutely no motivation 😞#i want to be the girl with the cute stationary who's always revising her notes and is on top of her game..#but instead i'm the girl with the eyebags who scrambles to study everything one night before the exam #apparently i love to suffer </3 #this was way tmi if you read all this i'm kissing you on the forehead ily and i'm sorry 😭😭😭#☁️

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orcelito · 1 year

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me gearing up to hate my Fucking life as i work to finish this damned texting bitch of a program due tomorrow, logging into the school website to get the lab info page... only to see the due date's been pushed back a week. probably bc many people, like me, are really... not close to done with it lol

i wouldve known this if id gone to class today probs lol, but i was too busy being gay. so uh. yay? this is a genuine relief lol i was feeling Particularly destructive about it all.

#speculation nation #ive been increasingly irritated today bc of the knowledge that this was waiting for me at home #i knew i wasnt going to finish it in a way that was favorable to me. i was going to need to sacrifice sleep.#but it seems like i wont have to. thank fucking god.#anyways yea my girlfriend was visiting for the past few days (aka why ive been largely absent from here) but she's left again #i only had a few more hours with her so i decided to skip class and be gay instead of going. Lol #and then i had to go to work to do some stuff but i procrastinated leaving bc i was watching critical role #and then the stuff took longer than expected bc i had to make creme brulee bc we were completely out but got more powder for it #did inventory. prepped my notes for the meeting (that is starting. soon.)#then came home. prepared myself for Shit Night. got started looking into shit #and then found this thing. so like lmfao like Hell im going to work on this bitch tonight. fuck that.#uhmmm sorry professor for not going to class for two consecutive class periods i was busy prepping for being gay and then being gay #Finger Guns. lmao #anyways yeah life resumes as normal. im not really getting a day off this week.#WELL depending on things maybe i could get away with not coming in on thursday #i was only scheduled an hour today but it turned into 3.5hr. im not scheduled tomorrow but it's payroll week so i'll go in to do tips #then thursday im scheduled 2 hours for recipe restocking but if no recipes need restocked then like. no need & all #the other days r proper shifts. Though if they dont give us our tapioca by the weekend i'll end up not having a sunday shift #bc BOBA MAKING IS BACKKKKKKKKK (crying tears of joy and pain)#but we're getting a new machine for it so it'll hopefully be Much easier than it used to be. which is good! i fucking hated my Life with it #anyways i know i need to sleep after the manager meeting bc lol. lmao even. staying awake any longer in this kind of mood isnt gonna help

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nomazee · 9 days

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Um hello! Is the 1k event thingy still up?? If so I would like to request a classmate! Dr ratio x reader at 2:47 am?

it's actually sickening how much fun i had with this i was giggling at my own jokes while typing this out... this was so fun to write THANK YOU FOR REQUESTING!!!

my 1k event!

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A blaring, aggravating, shrill sound wakes you up. Your hands go to cover your ears, protecting your sanity from the noise ringing somewhere from the tangle of sheets on your bed. Hands flailing around desperately to find the source of the piercing chimes, you writhe around in agony until you finally latch onto your phone.

The brightness of the screen digs into your corneas as you lift up the device to see the caller ID of whoever had the guts to bother you on a school night.

It comes to no surprise that the caller name reads “VERITAS FUCKING RATIO” in all caps with no contact photo. Your eye twitches and the grip on your phone tightens, just a hair away from leaving finger-shaped dents in the metal.

Begrudgingly, you answer the call, tucking the phone next to your ear with nothing less than displeasure. “Veritas. Why are you calling me at—” you pull your phone back to check, “—almost three in the morning?”

“The works cited page,” Veritas Fucking Ratio informs you matter-of-factly. There’s no hint of sleepiness in his voice, nothing that could possibly chip away at his good image, of course. “You did it in the wrong format. It’s supposed to be APA. This is a science project, not a literature project.”

You might kill him. The project in question is to be presented tomorrow— today at ten in the morning. Ratio and you had been working on it for an entire two weeks, broken up into intermittent hour-long sessions because he was adamant that you split up the work instead of rushing to do it all the night before. Stupid self-righteous gorgeous beautiful academic genius-freak. Yeah, it definitely helped you in the long run, but he acted so sanctimonious about it that you refused to admit the benefits.

“Veritas,” you imbue the syllables of his name with poison, as much as you can when you’re swaying as you sit up on your bed and fighting demons to not fall back asleep. “This is such an easily-fixed thing. Do you know what time it is right now? Why are you even awake? You know, I am supposed to get a full seven hours of sleep every night, and I was already cutting it short today, and you woke me up before I could even hit REM sleep. Do you know how upsetting this is? Fix the goddamn works cited yourself!”

For once, Veritas is at a loss for words. The other end of the line is so quiet that you have to double check and make sure he hasn’t just hung up on you. Perspiration builds on your palms, thinking that this is it—this is the exact moment that you make Veritas-Fucking-Ratio snap and delete your name off the project credit slide, and you’re going to get a 0 because he will wipe off any evidence of your work from this plane of existence, and you will spend the rest of your measly life chasing after your MLA-turned-APA works cited page, too-little-too-late.

“I’m awake because the— well.” He pauses, and his voice sounds so far away and unobtrusive that you’re almost worried. Your breath stills in the middle of your diaphragm. Waiting. “The works cited is one thing. But I wanted you to look at the slides, if you can.”

If you can, he says, as if he’s giving you a choice, which he literally never has during this entire process. You had no role in choosing the topic, or the slide theme, or what days you worked on the project, or how often you worked on the project (because god forbid you procrastinate a little bit, right?!), but now, at almost three in the morning, Veritas is saying something along the lines of oh please my dearest project partner, I request that you open the Google Slides at once, but only if you would like to! I would never infringe on your free will at three in the morning, because I respect you as a partner. Or something like that. That was pretty much the gist of it.

A raspy sigh escapes you, and you claw your busted laptop off the nightstand next to you, opening it up and squinting at the LED screen as you punch in your passcode. “You know, I have done a good job at going along with all of your whims, Veritas, the least you could do is fix the works cited for me. Seriously, how did you even miss that? You’re so detail-oriented, but you didn't even realize the format was wrong until tonight? Who even cares, seriously… it’s just a slideshow…”

Your voice trails off as the slideshow presentation finally loads in. You see Veritas’ default profile picture blink in the upper right-hand corner, signaling that he’s viewing the slideshow with you. The slideshow which has apparently undergone a huge makeover.

It’s—pleasant to look at. This entire time, you and Veritas had been editing a default, white-background black-serif-font-text slideshow. He refused to change it, telling you that it’s unprofessional to do anything too embellished, to which you fruitlessly said, Veritas, we will die early deaths because of the hole in the ozone layer, would you at least make it easier on my poor soul by letting me choose a pokemon-theme slide? Veritas had pretended like he couldn't hear you (in a very quiet library room, mind you), but the twitch in his brow gave him away.

Now, though, the slides are decorated. It’s a really nice theme, complete with custom icons and graphic blobs of color—your favorite color, might you add. It’s—pretty. Dare you say, cute, but you think Veritas would vaporize your entire presentation if you called it cute.

“Did you— this— did you pay for this slide theme?”

“You— n— mn,” he trails off into an unintelligible mash of mumbling, and you hear a loud THUD that sounds awfully like the phone being thrown onto a mattress. Fabric shuffles around, before you hear Veritas’ voice again, clear and composed. “Sorry. I dropped my phone.” What a loser, and a liar, and an endearing freak. You really wish he video called you because you need to see his totally-very-ugly face.

“I thought this was unprofessional, Veritas,” you say teasingly, a smile lining your words as you try not to giggle right into the phone. “What made you have a change of heart?”

“Nothing,” the typical firmness of his voice has returned, much to your dismay. “The works cited is still wrong. You have to fix it.”

“Oh, whatever you say, honored Ratio,” you open up your trusty citation-generator, ready for a long fifteen minutes of copying and pasting information. “Hey, you must be free after class tomorrow, right? Since the project is pretty much over, right?”

“Yes,” Veritas answers after a moment of hesitation, only a hint of doubt in his voice.

“That’s great. Keep your schedule clear, then.”

(You fix the works cited slide, wish Veritas sweet dreams, and then wake up in the morning to completely ace your presentation. The minute the period ends, you drag him out of the classroom and into a coffee shop, paying for some five dollar pastry and joking that it’s payback for the cute slideshow theme that he definitely paid five dollars for. Veritas is an awful liar, and you tell him that, and he can’t even find the strength to deny it.)

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gen taglist: @tragedy-of-commons @lasiancunin

fill out my event taglist (pinned) or general taglist (navi) to be tagged in upcoming works!

#nora hits 1k #dr ratio x reader #veritas ratio x reader #hsr x reader #honkai star rail x reader #dr. ratio x reader #honkai x reader #ratio x reader #i love this man he's like a wet piece of bark #like a rained-on plank of wood #this drabble is longer than my dan heng one im sick... dr ratio will not overtake my favorites leaderboard.

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iu-xo · 2 months

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"Like we've always hated each other"

Tantrum.

intro part 1 part 2 part 3

It took much less time than expected! I hope it's enjoyable to read, god this is so slowburn, so they still hate each other! But... do they really?

The sun... the sun that comes through the window... the fucking sun.

The most recent being to move into the hotel after its restoration, he was fighting a battle to the death with nothing more and nothing less than the sheets of his bed, nothing new for the king to say the least, In his mind it was the eighth time he told himself he would get up, And this was the real thing, he thought for the eighth time...

When he heard a door suddenly open, and even though he loved his daughter with all his heart, he couldn't wish for anything other than that she would leave him for another hour to rot for a little longer in his nest of depression and procrastination, Which didn't happen that way.

-DAD! I'm sorry to bother you... I know you were still sleeping and stuff! despite being past noon.. But your help would reeeeaaaally help me a lot rigth now!

Even though his body betrayed him and made him want to sink and become one with the mattress, knowing that his daughter needed something from him gave him enough motivation to sit up in bed.

-Whatever you need honey..

His voice was still hoarse and sleepy, revealing his little to none desire to exist at that moment, but surely when he did something he would feel better... he hoped.

The princess gave a happy squeal to take out some notebook pages with lists and colorful crayon drawings, and grabbed one in particular which she put on her father's nightstand while she put the rest away with some clumsiness.

-Today I have an activity planned but I mixed up my schedules with next week's, so I have nothing to start with!

The blonde looked very worried about this problem she had, and Lucifer thought that maybe she would ask him for things to buy and he could just magically appear them, piece of cake.

-So while I fix this I wanted you to put these flyers in the businesses that already gave me permission!

Wait. What?

the angel really thought He could get away with doing this quickly with a little magic trick, but he really had no way of appearing flyers in specific places which he had no idea where they were..

-erm.. Dear.. Can't we just put them in... I don't know... everywhere?

-Nop! Because today's topic is... consent!

She said while making a rainbow in the air with her hands , Therefore, the little angel had no choice but to personally walk through the disgusting streets of the pride ring... his ring. While he was hanging little pieces of paper on the windows of the shops of the ungrateful sinners that owned them. But... it was for Charlie... so how bad could it be, He stopped thinking about how bad it would be and instead saw Charlie's smile explaining how she wanted to deal with today's topic, he saw her eyes full of sparkle and got out of bed.

-Count on me char-char, I'll take care of it!

Charlie smiled from ear to ear and hugged him, leaning down, he had taken Lucifer a little by surprise but he gladly reciprocated

-Thank you.. means a lot.

They both felt a silence after that, it wasn't awkward, it was like they were telling each other without words that they were trying to heal something, And even if it couldn't happen overnight, they were trying, Charlie knew they would make it, Lucifer... he could only hope so.

But after that charlie decided to left the room to let her father get ready, she also had too many things to do, time was against her and she wasn't going to waste it.

-Well.. see ya!

She said goodbye with her hand, while her father did it in the same way, Once she was outside, the angel walked slowly to his closet, looking for something more casual, but ended up wearing his usual outfit but without his white jacket, he rolled up his sleeves and headed to the bathroom to fix his hair, he saw himself in the mirror for a moment, a wave of melancholy drowning him for a few moments, He saw himself worn out, tired.

He washed his face with cold water as an attempt to wash away the draining thoughts, it just... everything used to be so simple for him, at least sometimes... He left the bathroom and opened a window in his room, looking to breathe something other than his own self-loathing, A burst of sulfur aroma was what he found, he sighed, At this moment he missed the aroma of fruit and freshly wet grass... he may not be missing the regime of heaven but... that garden and it's smells sure were something else

He realized that he had gotten quite lost in thought, so he washed his face one last time Seeking to return to reality, and avoiding the hassle of seeing so many faces at the reception... he opened a golden portal under his feet that left him at the exit of the hotel, now he only had to...

walk.

Lovely.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•

-WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE YOU LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT.

A demon twice his size was shouting at him in the middle of the street, the lamb-like demon had bruises he was bleeding and holding the demon's hand that grabbed him by the neck while lifting him off the floor, he didn't seem scared, in fact he didn't feel the slightest bit of fear despite the dangerous situation he found himself in, as if he believed that at any moment one of his exterminators would arrive and take him out of there, or simply as if it didn't enter his head that he wasn't untouchable.

-F-FUCK YOU.. YOU.. FUCKING PUSSY!

He tried to get free even with less oxygen than required, he increasingly gained strength to kick his attacker into the pit of his stomach, leaving him breathless momentarily and falling to the ground, he took a deep breath and before the opponent could notice Adam was half a block away, he may have been out of shape, but he managed to ran into an alley and lean against the wall, while he saw the idiot run past him.

-SHIT- FUCKING- DAMN IT!

He dropped to the floor sliding down the wall, wiped the blood from his nose, then saw the blood on his hand..

Red.

His blood was... Red. Did he feel.. anger? No.. sadness? Of course not.. he was not a pussy.. He felt... To hell with what he felt all this was bullshit and he shouldn't be going through this! He shouldn't be here! He Should not.. he shouldn't be here...he was the first man...God's most beautiful creation! Fuck..he couldn't be rotting in this shit hole together with all these pieces of shit! They all came from him. where is his respect..

Interrupting his internal monologue bar existential crisis, he heard footsteps and unconsciously clung to the wall with his new claws, since he had arrived he had already escaped from five guys who were looking to kick his ass, perhaps a sixth could be avoided.

Humming a catchy melody, a familiar face passed by looking for something, looked at a sheet of paper, then at the shops, Then he approached the window of the establishment and stuck a flyer on it, without realizing the stare he had on him, Although of course, many people had looked at him since he left the hotel, he had had to send a couple flying, so it wasn't something especially peculiar

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

of all the habitants of hell... IT SHOULD BE FUCKING LUCIFER THE FIRST FAMILIAR FACE HE SEES?! This day, this place and all of this it's nothing but a stupid damn joke!

What the fuck is he doing? Hanging ruffles? Last time he tried to sell him that he was such a big deal, what was he doing hanging fucking pamphlets in the disgusting streets full of shit?

The gaze that Lucifer felt on his shoulder felt heavier and heavier, when he looked out of the corner of his eye he noticed a sinner looking towards the flyer he puted on the glass, and an idea crossed his mind, what would be better than advertising the hotel? Well, make it work of course! He could do this, it was just... talking to a stranger! Perfect, and the bad thing was that... he had to talk to a stranger. come on morningstar! For your daughter's approval!

-Heey you.

They both remained in total silence, panic could be seen on Adam's face, had he recognized him? It seemed like no... everything pointed to no, but that didn't stop his brain from wanting to run away and leave him alone in that moment, Lucifer had an ackward face and it shows in the way his eye twitched that he regretted his decision ever since the words left his mouth, but there was no way to take it back now, meanwhile Adam considered the possibility of just running away.

-I see you... watching from there! You can... read it. You know.. it's a pamphlet. They are for... reading-

He could easily smash his hand against his face in an exaggerated way, but this wasn't the time for that, if he brought a guest to the hotel today Charlie would be so happy! he can do it, it was like selling, It's not that he knew how to sell things... but how hard could it be

Meanwhile Adam looked at him with a disappointed face, his communication skills were as deplorable as they had always been, but he glanced at the pamphlet, of course, their fifth class hotel.

-It has everything! You should tell every person you see in hell about it.

Adam's disgusted face spoke for him, while Lucifer sighed, obviously it wouldn't be that easy to bring someone to the hotel in one day, but for Adam everything was going wonderfully since at least he didn't know it was him.

The feeling did not last too long, as he felt a figure forming behind him, heat emanating from near his back, the lamb-like demon feared the worst, and unfortunately he was right.

-To claim to be the first dick you are quite the pussy.

Said a demon behind him, twice his size, Shark-like, It was the guy from before for sure, shit-

-wait. what was that first thing you said?

before the words had a chance to come out of the angel's mouth in their entirety, He felt a gust of wind pass by him but as far as he was concerned, the wind doesn't scream.

As he turned around at the speed of the wind itself, he could briefly see his future guest crashing into the brick wall at the hands of the stupid demon who had interrupted his negotiation attempt, in a moment six wings came out angelically from the sovereign's back to place himself just in time between the two demons with a flutter of his wings, whit one hand he stoped the inevitable punch destined to hit Adam's face.

-Nobody taught you not get into the grown up's conversations... right?

He said this while a grin formed in his face, showing sharp teeth which this guy would remember all his life, Lucifer released the guy's fist to hold his wrist and with a twist of his hip he easily sent him to the other side of the pentagram.

-now. where did you get that phrase from?

When the angel looked behind him he could see nothing more and nothing less than two hooves walking away two meters away

-Shit shit shit shit shit SHIT!

Although Adam's intention was to lose sight of the small man following him, when he looked back all he could see was his imminent arrival to the ground, receiving a tackle from Lucifer, they both fell rolling around as if they were two little children fighting in the school garden

-SPEAK FILTHY CREATURE

He demanded, standing on top of the lamb, despite it being half his size and looking humorous, the truth is that Adam couldn't get out of his grip no matter how hard he tried.

-STOP BEING SO DAMN DENSE BITCH!

Oh God. He recognized that voice, he recognized that stupid self-nickname, and worst of all, he recognized that stupid tantrum.

-how the hell. are you here rigth now.

-Why should I say that to you, huh?!

-maybe because YOU DON'T HAVE ANOTHER OPTION?! MAYBE??

Both continued to struggle with each other, one to escape and one to have answers. Lucifer was afraid of letting him escape and that he could cause some trouble, although thinking about it carefully... he looked at his lamb's ears, his hooves, his eyes and his teeth... now he was a simple sinner, There wasn't much he could accomplish even if he tried, he'd probably be screwed, he may already had taked a few beatings even.

-Well, I have no idea! I hope that helps sucker!

He said and spit in his face, something he didn't thought about properly, or didn't thought about at all, The ruler's face was irritated, as if he were putting up with a spoiled child, well... that's practically what he's doing.

-That's all, Let's go.

He cleaned his face whit his sleve and grabbed him by the collar of his clothes and began to drag him along the sidewalk, he had an exhausted expression as if he didn't have what it took to face this situation today, although he probably wouldn't any day.

-the FUCK. ARE YOU DOING?!

He said, fluttering his black wings everywhere, managing to irritate Lucifer by obstructing his vision, forcing him to stop, to which he grunted in annoyance.

-Well. taking care of you! What else am I supposed to do! It's what I should always do! because it seems like your entire existence is made to cause me problems!

Adam's gaze could be nothing but anger, he struggled away from Lucifer's grasp, which was curious to see due to the difference in sizes, once free he turned around to look at him from the front

- YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT, I WAS MADE TO BE FUCKING PERFECT! YOU LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT.

-If you were as perfect as you say, how do you explain this eh! How do you think this happened?! You are not in this putrid pit for being the dick of the dicks PAL!

The lamb growled in exasperation as he stamped on the ground with his right hoof, after pulling his hair looking to escape from his angryness he lookef at the little one in the eye.

- IF I DON'T CARE, WHY THE FUCK SHOULD YOU CARE, YOU PIECE OF CRAP!

He felt a lump in his throat, but not as painful as the lump in the throat of the king of hell himself, Why should he care? Why the fuck should he care??

-Oh then i saw You die a fucking WEEK AGO. and You expect me to see that You are alive and let you wander through hell knowing that any demon is out there KICKING YOUR FUCKING ASS?! A THANK YOU WAS ENOUGH!

Lucifer screamed as his eyes turned from yellow to red from how infuriating he found having to argue with this idiot, he was never particularly reasonable but right now he was more irritable than normal and had no idea why

- THANK YOU?! OH SURE THEN YOU THINK YOU CAN TREAT ME LIKE A CHARITY CASE FOR YOUR BRAT'S SHITTY HOTEL HUH!? Well I have news for you DUDE!

Adam He kicked dirt from the street, dirtying Lucifer's clothes, who coughed in response to the cloud of dust

-im not your fucking guinea pig.

He narrowed his gaze in disgust, looking down literally and metaphorically at his contrary.

-Are you allergic to kindness? or why is it that you can't accept a fucking favor!?

Adam's Contemptuous face became one of intense anger and he took a step forward and brought his face closer to the angel's.

-from YOU? Of course. Good joke.

Lucifer had enough, he wouldn't wait to know where this reunion could go, It's not even worth wasting his breath on... Adam. Or at least that's what he thought.

-you know what? It's fine with me. It's not like you're not used to everyone leaving you, stay like that, as always, stay alone.

The king shook his clothes to remove the dirt, with one hand he snapped his fingers and as he arrived he left, Adam was left with an unreadable expression, he didn't move from there, he just stood there.

still and quiet.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

The golden portal opened above the hotel's front door, since he had avoided greeting people in the morning he assumed he could say hello in the aftern.. nigth, it was nigth.

Well, anyways, he would greet them at night then.

Opening the door abruptly without worrying about whether it was timely or not, he stepped into the hall.

-HEELLOOO everyone! How does the night treat you all?

From there you could easily see the bartender behind the bar along with the little maid sitting at the bar playing with some dead bug, on the sofa lay their most exotic guest and a certain deer showed no signs of being close, much to the king's liking.

-we have been better short king, But nothing that a drink can't fix, rigth wiskers?

The feline rolled his eyes but smiled at the end, and began to mix different liquids, When he looked in the direction the king was his eyes widened in surprise

- wow. It looks like you were hited by a truck.

Angel Dust looked in the same direction realizing what the bartender was referring to, It really looked like they had made him crawl on the floor, well, in fact something like that happened-

- someone played too rough whit ya~?

Husk put his palm to his face as Nifty leaned over the bar counter

- I like rough.

She said, sketching a sinister smile, to which Lucifer reacted with a certain degree of displeasure, and Husk put a donut from the bar counter in her mouth to make her shut up for a little bit

- umh.. rigth. Well no, I wasn't hit by a truck, and no! Neither, the other thing. I just ran into a few issues. Nothing to worry about.

While this small exchange of words was going on, footsteps could be heard in the distance approaching faster and faster, ending with a hug from behind to Lucifer's surprise.

-DAD! What happened? It took you hours to come back!

-Oh come on, come on... it's nothing at all! A few small issues, a few hours! But everything is fine now.

While the angel convinced Charlie that it was nothing, sounds of static reached everyone's ears, covering them in the act, everyone anticipated the arrival of you-know-who, it was nothing new for him to arrive in such a dramatic way, especially if the king was there prior to his arrival

-How interesting... I would swear it would take more than a few small matters to delay the big boss.. a couple hours.

The one who had just arrived in the room exclaimed very arrogantly, with a smile from ear to ear per usual , Charlie watched him appear on the spot and waved happily, only to receive a greeting from the deer-like demon in return.

-oh oh oh If you only knew You little shit.

Lucifer smiled evilly knowing that if Alastor ran into Adam again the last thing he would do would be act with that arrogance so characteristic of his

-Honey there is someone at the door.

Vaggie entered the room and to the conversation to warn her girlfriend about the presence of someone outside, so charlie left the two old men arguing to answer the door

-Oh but tell us your highness, what were these "issues" then.

-Nothing that your walnut-sized brain can understand piece of-

Two brown hooves entered, stepping on the red carpet that covered the hotel's entrance hall, to which Charlie said very excitedly and taking small jumps until they reached the area where everyone was, her girl on one side of the stranger and her on the remaining side.

Lucifer's sight changed from being fixed on Alastor to seeing the newcomer and although the king was already prepared to smile at the person to receive them, when he looked at him carefully, the only thing that came out of his mouth was..

-FU- ADAM?! THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE.

When everyone heard who he was talking about, they stayed cold and glued to the floor. With his new demonic form, no one would have guessed that it was the leader of the exorcists in person, or rather... in demon.

-ADAM?!

-adam??

-THAT ADAM?!

-OH OH estás muerto CABRON!

-Mhhh..

After the domino reaction Adam with lowered ears tried to talk keeping his dignity and pride, not very successfully, with a stupid smile on his face he speak

-heey bitchees.. so.. what's for dinner?

You could swear there was the sound of a cane breaking in the background followed by a static sound.

#hazbin hotel #lucifer morningstar #hazbin hotel lucifer #lucifer hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel spoilers #hazbin hotel fanfiction #fanfic #adamsapple #guitarduck #adam x lucifer #lucifer x adam #i liked this one i think

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yoisami · 9 months

Text

[12:23 AM] — ୨୧

tags. mikage reo x gn!reader, 690 wc, fluff, late night studying, cramming last minute, both reo and reader are in high school, established relationship, this is v self-indulgent, slightly proofread, use of profanities.

you were staring blankly at your computer screen, blinking every few seconds as you mentally revised through everything you did this whole week, wondering why the fuck you kept losing your battles against the temptation to procrastinate every time you sat down at your desk with the intent to study.

as you internally prayed to the gods above that some unfortunate miracle (such as you falling down two flights of stairs and breaking a limb tomorrow morning) can come true, you're anxiously tapping the tip of your pen against the desk.

tap, tap, tap, tap.

the waves of anxiety has finally washed over you the first time in this whole week. as you lightly bit your tongue in hopes to chew away the guilt, the ghost of your actions are haunting you as you're trying to memorise all the content you needed to know for tomorrow's (technically today) quiz.

usually, you could care less about such a minute issue like a quiz, but hell, this one actually contributed to a fat percentage of your final score for this subject.

and while you've been a full-time procrastinator since middle school, you still seek self-validation from As and A pluses in your academic career (straight As give you a divine boost of self-esteem).

hence, as a product of your procrastination and desire to do well, you're feeling absolutely shit about tomorrow, and you're plotting ways to squeeze in even one more day to study for this quiz.

could you catch a fever? definitely.

you're willing to stand in the cold night for two hours to make sure that your core body temperature becomes erratic.

broken arm? you're hesitating, but bones can heal—

scrunching your face at the sight of your phone vibrating beside you, you sighed when reo's caller id took up the screen. accepting the video call, you placed your phone against a pile of folders.

"hi baby! didn't think you'd pick up at this hour."

to reo's surprise, your lips displayed a scowl instead of your usual, cute smile. you enviously watch reo pull his blanket closer to his shoulders in his bed, and a "tch" slips past your lips.

"i'm studying," you grumbled, with a sour expression on your face. "for the econ quiz."

"then why do you look like you wanna kill someone right now?"

"because i wished i fucking studied before! god — i keep procrastinating and i'm actually so mad at myself for this," you groaned, flipping through the pages you've marked in your textbook. looking at the amount of content that you needed to know was enough of a stimulus to make you faint right here, right now.

"hey, hey... it's okay. how much have you done so far?" reo asked, tone cheery and lovely. you can tell he's trying to spread some optimism to you, but to your dismay, your screen is blocking it out.

with a final sigh, you dropped your head against the desk. "like, half. but i don't even have that half thoroughly memorised."

you notice that his smile slightly falters as he sits up. "i mean, you have nine hours until the quiz. you have time."

"reo, i don't just need time — i need luck. i seriously don't know if i can pass."

reo runs a hand through his hair as he leaves his bed. you watch him bring his phone with him somewhere before you sat up again, frowning at your textbook. you furrowed your brows as he props his phone up, and you can see that he's at his desk now. reo shoots you a charming smile as he leans closer to the phone.

"lucky for you, your boyfriend is top of the class, so i-"

your lips fall into a straight line. "that's not what i needed to hear, mikage reo."

"baby, you didn't even let me finish. i was going to say — i can help you! i'll teach this to you," he says, sending you a wink from his side of the call. "we've got this!"

finally breaking out of your vexed mood with a laugh, you returned his wink with a smile. "thank you, reo."

"of course. anything for my darling."

#૮(ˊ ᵔ ˋ)ა — ୨୧ by saki #reo i love u pls tell me u love me too #blue lock #bllk #blue lock x reader #blue lock x you #mikage reo #reo mikage #reo x reader #reo x you #mikage reo x reader #mikage reo x you #reo mikage x reader #reo mikage x you #reo fluff #reo imagines

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weird-is-life · 1 year

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Can I make a self indulgent request please 😅, I'm a middle school science teacher and I'm stuck in my apartment all grading papers because procrastinated. I line alone with my little dog and I just need some fluffy comfort with Spencer. Maybe he just sits with the read on the couch with some soft indie music playing in the background. Helping her grade papers. Just a very comfortable silence and he just looks at her when she is not looking and he is just so in love.

Hiii, thank uuu so much for this cute request! I'm sorry it took a bit longer😅(0.6k)

It's Friday night and you're sitting on the couch, surrounded by a pile of tests. You've put off, grading the papers all week, not feeling like doing them at all. You don't really feel like doing them even now. But Spencer's been gone for the last few days and he called you, saying he'll be home tomorrow.

You don't want to waste the little time you usually get with Spencer by grading papers. So you decide to do them. It's easy at first, but the longer you are at it, the more tired and irritated you are.

You are now regretting, putting it off for the whole week. But you try to push through, you even put your favourite music on to help you.

It works for a bit, but the pile never seems to get smaller and you are beggining to wish for it to just dissappeared.

You are just about to give up and put a movie on instead, when you hear the unlocking of your door and a few seconds later, you find yourself clinging tight to your boyfriend, Spencer. He didn't even get 2 steps into your apartment, before you were jumping on him.

"Spence! What are you doing home?" you question. He told you, he was coming tomorrow.

"The team decided to catch an earlier flight, so here I am" he says as he hugs you tightly, he missed you a lot," I'm so glad, I'm home."

"I'm happy, you are home, too" you mumble into his chest. Spencer hums in agreement, content to have you in his arms.

You part after a few seconds, "you must be hungry, let me make you something to eat." You start to walk towards the kitchen, but Spencer catches you by your arm.

"Wait," he says and before you can ask wait for what, he kisses you. You immediately melt into the kiss. When your lips move apart, you sheepishly smile at him, give him one more peck on his lips and head for the kitchen. You fully expect him to go get a shower as he always does.

And he does. But on his way to the bathroom, he notices the mess of papers in the living room. It's like, there was an explosion of papers in the room. Spencer doesn't even need to think about why is that.

He takes a very quick shower and goes to you. He finds you making him his favourite sandwiches and quietly humming some song.

"Sweetheart?" he gets your attention, you look at him with a sweet smile, "is everything okay?" he asks.

"Yeah, why?" you look confused at him, but after a few moments, you remember. You completely forgot about the pile of papers.

"Oh."

"I-I was trying to grade all the papers. I put off grading them all week, because I didn't feel like doing them. But you said, you were coming tomorrow, so I wanted to get them done before you came, " you ramble swiftly, "But I didn't finish, it was a lot. So I'll do it in the morning when you'll sleep, I don't want to waste the time we have together by grading stupid tests."

"In the morning? Nope. We'll get it done today," Spencer's always up to help you with anything.

"We?"

"Yeah, we. I'll help you."

"But you are definitely tired, Spence. You should just go to bed, I'll do it alone-" he instantly cuts you off.

"What? Babe, I'll help you. It will be quicker this way." He doesn't give you anymore space to argue, he takes the plate with the sandwiches, kisses your cheeks as a thank you and pulls you to the living room.

You both sit down on the couch, the music is still playing. "What should I start with?" he asks and you only just think about how this man just got home from a tough week, full of work and wants to spend god knows how many minutes grading middle schoolers tests. Your heart warms up as you think about it.

"I love you, thank you for doing this" you blurt out, looking very softly at him. He pauses his looking through the piles and smiles big at you.

"I love you, too." You two spend the next hour grading the papers, while comfortly sitting on the couch and listening to the music. It's much more better doing it with Spence, than alone.

#spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid #spencer reid fluff

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duchi-nesten · 1 year

Text

Right?

Summary:

After a talk with Jazz, Danny realizes that he maybe kinda procrastinated confessing his feelings for Tucker. Just a little bit.

He was waiting for the right moment, okay!

Wordcount: 4135 || AO3 Link

My first phic for Phic Phight using the prompt by @hpwot !

Danny had wanted to tell Tucker that he had a crush on him the day of the accident. It never went away, but in all the chaos since that day, he's never been able to just say it out loud. A talk with Jazz helps, there's never going to be a right moment, he just has to do it.

Also first fic I have written in literal years, so I hope it’s alright! The plot has escaped me so many times it’s unreal lmAO

She knew.

Danny knew very well that Jazz knew. Of course she knew. She was always incredibly perceptive and caring. All she had to do was look at him to know something was up, reading his emotions like an open book. She was a very loving and overprotective sister and that is exactly why she just couldn’t keep her annoying nose out of his business.

She tried to corner him for a few weeks now, but he always managed to give her the slip. Sometimes even using his ghost powers to do so. Yet Jazz wasn’t known for simply giving up. No matter what he did, Danny knew that sooner or later he would be dragged into an impromptu pseudo therapy session with his sister.

He could at least try to prolong the inevitable though.

He was down in the lab on a Tuesday afternoon. His parents have finally had enough of waiting on him to start on his chores, so they threatened to ground him if he didn’t do it today. Not the worst thing they ever threatened him with, but still.

He was scrubbing on a very persistent ectoplasm stain when he heard footsteps coming down the stairs. Danny turned around just in time to see his sister descend the last steps into the lab.

Oh Ancients, here we go.

‘’What do you want, Jazz? I’m cleaning.’’ he stated flatly, turning back around to the stubborn piece of ectoplasm. Why was it not coming off? Maybe he should add more peroxide to the cleaning mixture?

He started making his way to the bucket and cleaning supplies laying on a counter in the corner of the lab, but was stopped when Jazz moved to stand in his way.

‘’When are you going to tell Tucker about your feelings?’’ she asked with a pointed look, arms crossed over her chest.

Ah, cutting straight to the chase. She was probably making sure to not give him any chance of running off again. Though it’s not like he would run off this time. He had to clean this god forsaken lab and she knew that. It was exactly why she came down to torment him right now when he couldn’t leave.

Only thing left to do was play dumb.

‘’Who’s Tucker?’’

Okay, not that dumb.

Judging by the flat stare he received from her, Jazz was not amused by that answer either.

‘’I don’t know what you’re talking about.’’ he tried again and made a point to not look at her while he swiftly slipped by to get to his bucket. ‘’I don’t have any feelings. None at all. Ask mom and dad, they’ll agree.’’

‘’You’re not fooling anyone, little brother.’’

He knew that very well. He knew he was extremely obvious about it, Sam has already pointed it out to him on multiple occasions, thank you very much.

That didn’t mean he would let Jazz meddle though.

‘’Just leave it Jazz, it’s none of your business.’’ he huffed and for a while the lab remained silent. He focused on adding more peroxide into his cleaning mixture instead and …oh great the bottle was empty.

He looked around for something else he could use. There was a can of SpriteTM on dad’s working bench. If it’s carbonated would it bubble like peroxide? He needed something that bubbled right?

Yeah, that sounded about right, it could work.

‘’You should tell him, you know.’’ Ah right, Jazz was still there.

He turned around, ready to tell her to get lost again, but stopped when he saw the look she was giving him. Her gaze was softer than before, a little smile on her face. Almost as if she knew something he didn’t. But behind that was also determination. She was tired of his bullshit and would not let him off the hook this time around.

He sighed loudly, throwing his head back in a dramatic fashion. He put the cleaning rag away knowing that he couldn’t avoid this conversation any longer.

‘’Yes I know.’’ he admitted, still slightly irritated. Taking off the cleaning gloves and throwing them on the counter, he fully faced his sister. ‘’I want to tell him. I’m going to. I’m just… waiting for the right moment.’’

‘’And how long have you been waiting now?’’ she asked raising one of her sharp eyebrows skeptically.

‘’...Since… around the accident?’’

It wasn’t just around the accident. It was specifically on the day of the accident, but she didn’t need to know that. He was supposed to tell Tucker all about his little crush on exactly that day. He often wondered, if the portal didn’t decide to fry him, would he have confessed already? It was the plan after all.

In his defense the accident complicated everything by a lot. Becoming half-ghost was a terrifying experience at first. Not even mentioning all the ghosts that started attacking the town shortly after. There was always something else to worry about.

So yeah he kinda procrastinated confessing his feelings. A little bit. Death does that to a mf.

‘’Danny! That was over a year ago!’’

Okay, he might have procrastinated slightly more than just a little bit. Sue him.

Now it was Jazz’s turn to sigh loudly. She uncrossed her arms and moved to sit on one of the metal tables.

‘’There’s never going to be a right time you know.’’ she said beckoning him to sit beside her.

‘’What?’’ he gruntled, begrudgingly following her lead. They were really going to talk about this while sitting on a table he might get dissected on one day. Joy.

‘’Tell me now’’ she started putting an arm on his shoulder. ‘’when you think of a right moment, what does it entail?’’

‘’What do you mean?’’

‘’What would you call a right moment?’’ she tried again.

He considered her question for a second.

He’d definitely want them to be alone for this. It’s personal after all and he’d rather spare Sam from witnessing this. No matter how many times she said she can be there for him as mental support whenever he gets the guts to do it. (Which he did have, by the way.)

School was unquestionably out. Even when Sam wasn’t with them, there were still plenty of other students around. Not to mention Dash, who would not let him live this down. Besides it was school. Who does this stuff at school?

And their usual after school hang outs weren’t special enough. Like hell was he going to confess in a Nasty Burger. Or what? His stinky bedroom?

The cinema? Well they did go to the cinema often, but they went there to watch the movies. And after the movie ended it was time to either have an excited geek out session over it or diss it entirely. No good time for deep conversations.

During fights was obviously also a big no-no. After the fights? They hated their existence after fights. (At least Danny did.) He also often got hurt during those and sometimes Tucker got to tend to his wounds and-

Yeah, after fights was not the right time.

‘’Can’t think of anything, little brother?’’ Jazz’s sudden soft giggles brought him out of his thoughts.

He focused on her. He was sure he looked like a lost puppy at that moment.

Whenever he thought of the right moment he always saw some abstract concept. Something along the lines of you’ll know when it happens. Tucker was important to him, he deserved the best god damn confession. A perfect one, like in those romantic movies they watched sometimes in secret.

But as crazy as his life may be, it wasn’t a movie. And now that he thought about this from the perspective of actual real life…

‘’No moment will ever feel right, Danny. I know you’re scared-’’

‘’I’m not scared.’’ he reacted on instinct.

‘’-but open communication is very important, not only in romantic relationships, but in platonic ones as well.’’ she stood up from the table to stand in front of him instead. Putting both of her hands on his shoulders, she continued;

‘’If you want your friendship with Tucker to be healthy you need to talk to him about your feelings. No matter if he feels the same way or not. You can’t put it off forever.’’

He wasn’t going to put it off forever. Only until the right moment. Which apparently might never exist.

‘’You just have to do it.’’ she shook him a bit for emphasis.

Danny scrunched his face and looked away. He hated when she was right.

He did just have to do it.

He still wasn’t going to do this at school or the Nasty Burger though. He had some dignity.

It wasn’t until a few days later when a true occasion presented itself.

It was a Saturday, he and Tucker decided to sneak some of his parents' inventions up to his room. Finally try to find some way of making them ignore his ecto-signature like they did with the specter deflector. It was way overdue at this point.

It would be very nice to not get attacked by his own parents for once. Plus Tucker looked cute while he worked. Danny almost got his fingers caught in the lock of one of the guns while staring at him with his tongue out in concentration. He always did that when focused hard on a task. Idiot.

Danny even had a thought to confess right at that moment, but they were actually doing something important. He couldn’t interrupt their work, right?

Yeah, exactly. He could tell him later.

With that in mind he continued unscrewing another metal plate from yet another device before handing it to Tucker, who worked his hacking magic.

They didn’t even notice that it got late, too invested in their work. The sun had long set when they sneaked the last of the updated equipment back into the lab. Danny offered Tucker to just stay the night over if he’d like and after a quick call to his parents they were pulling out the inflatable mattress.

‘’I swear to god whoever lost our pump will pay for this.’’ Danny ranted before taking a deep breath and continuing to blow up the mattress. No one in this family has seen that god forsaken pump in years now. His parents always said they’re gonna buy a new one, but no one remembered to do that until the mattress was needed again. Which was always too late.

Actually, how did his inventor parents not have a pump in the lab?

All this blowing was making him dizzy. He paused and took a look at the barely half blown mattress spread across his lap and the floor. This was going to take ages.

The fact that Tucker was laughing at his misery didn’t make it any better.

‘’Don’t faint on me dude.’’ he chuckled from his position on the bed. He was watching Danny struggle while scrolling on his phone and refused to help him whatsoever. ‘’You’ve got so pale in the past 5 minutes, you look like you’ve seen a ghost.’’

Danny would punch him if he didn’t think that his giggles were adorable. And also because he was wearing glasses. You don’t punch people with glasses.

‘’Actually, why am I doing this?’’ he asked instead, raising the corpse of a mattress by its valve. ‘’It’s your bed for today.’’

‘’Because if you don’t provide me with a comfy place to sleep I’ll just steal yours.’’ he said that while cuddling up to Danny’s pillow like it belonged to him. ‘’But here, I can help you stay awake.’’ with an evil grin he shoved his socked foot right in front of Danny’s nose.

‘’wHa- DUDE-’’ Danny yelled startled. It reeked so bad. ‘’Get it out of my face, do you want me to fully die?’’ he pushed the foot away but Tucker just moved it back in front of his face. While Danny was busy wrestling with his leg, he swiftly took off his other sock and threw it at him unexpectedly missing his head by an inch.

Nevermind the glasses. This was clearly a declaration of war.

Danny turned intangible to phase through the attacks. The moment Tucker realized what was going on he retreated, rolling off the bed from the other side. He barely managed to escape before Danny threw himself on the bed sheets that Tucker was occupying just a second ago.

‘’CHEATER!’’ Tucker screeched while he scrambled to his feet. He ran to the desk chair and put it in between them like a shield. As if that could stop someone who can phase through solid matter.

Actually, in this house it was quite a safe assumption to have. Nevermind.

Danny was about to give chase, but stopped when out of the corner of his eye he spotted something laying on the bed.

‘’Oh no, would you look at that.’’ he said smugly, picking up Tucker’s beloved phone and showing it to him. ‘’What’s this?’’

‘’...No..’’ Tucker’s eyes widened at the sight of his poor little electronic device in the hands of enemy.

‘’Looks like your phone…’’ Danny teasingly turned the phone in his hand as if studying it.

‘’Danny...’’’

‘’Would be a shame if someone… hm I don’t know… posted something embarrassing onto your techno geek forums…’’

‘’You wouldn’t dare…’’

Danny just smirked at him and started unlocking the screen. Honestly Tucker did this to himself by letting Danny know what his passcode was. And by sticking his stinky sock into his face.

‘’NO.’’

Before he even managed to sneak a glance at Tucker’s unlocked phone he was being tackled by his best friend. He stretched the arm holding the phone out and used the other one to keep Tucker from reaching out.

‘’Give it back!’’

‘’No, I don’t think so.’’ he laughed. He had half a mind to phase the phone into the wall, but before he got to do it Tucker jabbed him in the hips. Hard.

His grip on the phone faltered for a small second, but it was just enough for the other boy to steal it back.

‘’HA! I WIN!’’ he threw his hands out in victory and started coddling his phone. ‘’Don’t worry my sweet child. I won’t let that menace touch you ever again.’’ He didn’t even notice that he was pretty much sitting on said menace’s lap.

Danny did notice though. He felt his cheeks warm up while he stared up at his best friend.

Should he say it now?

…

But they were having fun right now. He can’t do it while they’re having fun. What if Tucker didn’t feel like having a serious conversation right now? It was silly goofy time…

But it was always either silly goofy time or serious ghost related issue time…

So was this a right moment after all?

It didn’t feel quite right.

No moment will ever feel right, Danny. His sister’s annoying voice rang out in his head.

Right.

‘’Uh… Tuck-.’’ he tried, but no more words came out as his throat closed up. He could hear how his heart started beating faster. His core following right after by vibrating uncomfortably out of sync. A sudden and unexpected dread overcame him out of nowhere.

What the hell.

‘’Yeah?’’ Tucker looked down at him finally realizing what position they were in. He blushed as well and quickly moved to sit beside him instead.

Danny barely noticed though. He still struggled with finding his voice, not understanding what was wrong.

Why couldn’t he just say it? He wanted to tell Tucker. He always planned on doing it. He wasn’t afraid to tell him about his feelings.

…right?

‘’Uh… Danny? You good man?’’ he heard him ask. His voice was filled with concern. Danny would feel bad for making him worry if he wasn’t busy trying to sort out his feelings.

Tucker was very important to him. That’s why he always waited for a perfect moment to confess. But he knew he could do it at any time. He wasn’t afraid to say it out loud.

Or that’s what he thought at least.

He realized now that waiting felt like a shelter. He didn’t have to worry about Tucker’s reaction if he just waited for the right moment. He didn’t have to fret change or be anxious over losing what they had if he just waited instead of fessing up.

Nothing would ever change if he put it off forever.

‘’You’re actually scaring me man.’’

Danny’s eyes focused back on Tucker. He was staring right back at him worriedly.

‘’Yeah- uh.’’ he cleared his throat. He felt like he was about to throw up, but at least he could speak again. ‘’I just… realized something.’’ Danny said, slowly raising into a sitting position.

‘’Are you okay?’’

Danny looked at his best friend and for the first time wondered if there’s even a slight possibility that he likes him back. Sometimes it felt like he did, but he wasn’t so sure now.

He never dared to think about it much. Maybe that’s what helped him keep his confidence for so long. He always knew they would be fine no matter what. They were best friends for goodness sake. Some silly feelings weren’t going to ruin that.

…

…Right?

…

Jazz was right. He was scared.

‘’Danny?’’

But she was also right when she said that he just needs to do it. He can’t hide it forever. It wouldn’t be fair to Tucker. Just say it out loud. Rip the bandaid off. Now or never.

Just look him in the eyes and say ‘’I like you.’’

…

Wait shit he actually said it out loud.

‘’What?’’

Danny quickly hid his face in his hands. Curse his impulsiveness. He didn't get to overthink it fully yet!

The room was quiet. It felt like neither of them were breathing. Which Danny probably actually wasn’t, since he didn’t need to. It was hard to tell when the silence slowly suffocated him.

He had to finish what he had started though. He was a big boy, he could do it.

After what felt like years, but was probably only a minute, Danny finally took a deep breath and lifted his head.

‘’I like you.’’ he repeated with a little more confidence. It took a lot to stop his voice from shaking. ‘’As in… you know.’’

He chanced glancing at Tucker’s face and saw his friend’s shocked expression. His mouth agape and eyes wide staring right back at him.

Danny looked away.

‘’What?’’ Tucker asked again softly, cocking his head to the side.

‘’It’s fine if you don’t feel the same way I just- I just needed to say it because well I-’’ he was interrupted before he could stutter any more.

‘’No. No no no. It's fine, I just….’’ a quick glance back at Tucker made it clear that he was unsure of what to say as well ‘’...You just surprised me, is all. Did you… realize this now or…?’’

‘’Pft. No.’’ he said like it was obvious. ‘’… I… I’ve- uhm it’s been like this for a while and I.. I wanted to tell you for a while too, but… turns out I was scared. And that’s what I realized now.’’ he explained lamely.

‘’You realized you were scared to tell me…now?’’

‘’Yeah.’’

‘’And right after realizing you were scared… you went ahead and did it…?’’

‘’...Yeah..’’

‘’What.’’ Tucker laughed a little bit. ‘’You’re dumb.’’

Danny didn’t waste a second throwing a pillow at his face. ‘’You’re dumb.’’

Tucker laughed a little bit more, but Danny could hear a slight nervousness in his voice. They were quiet for another second, but it was only getting more awkward again.

He told him. It took all his courage (or more like impulse) to say it out loud and he did. What else was he supposed to do? This was not how he imagined it to go at all. He was supposed to be confident god damn it.

Tucker looked like he wanted to say something, but struggled. Great, Danny made him uncomfortable.

Good job, Fenton. You ruined it.

It was time for his favorite coping mechanism. Ignore it and pretend nothing happened.

‘’Anyway… uh… gotta finish …with the mattress.’’ he started climbing out of bed, picking up the abandoned piece of vinyl monstrosity.

Tucker didn’t say anything. He just continued looking at him as Danny sat down on the floor, back turned to the bed, so he didn’t have to look at him.

It was another few minutes of silence. The only sound being Danny slowly blowing up the mattress and some small fidgets from Tucker.

Ancients, he shouldn’t have said anything. Should’ve just kept it to himself. And now Tucker had to spend an entire night here too. Should he offer him an escape? Offer to fly him home so he doesn’t have to be here and be awkward with Danny? Or would that be more awkward?

Really he should’ve at least waited until morning. No such thing as the right moment, screw you Jazz. He could think of at least 3 better moments than this.

‘’Danny?’’ Tucker said weakly. Danny flinched a little bit at the sound of his voice, but slowly turned around to face him.

‘’Yeah?’’

They once again stared at each other for a while. This time Tucker broke eye contact first.

‘’I-uhm… like you too…’’

…

What.

It was Danny’s turn to be shocked. He just continued staring. Blinking. Absolutely dumbfounded.

‘’Oh. Uh… Cool.’’ he replied like an idiot.

Tucker nodded slowly, gaze still directed elsewhere.

‘’Yeah…uh… cool.’’

A pause.

Tucker picked on his fingernails.

Danny played with the valve of the mattress.

They heard a car drive past, right under the opened window outside. A muted explosion sounded from the lab.

The phone they were previously fighting over chimed with a new notification.

‘’God this is so awkward.’’ Tucker muttered, followed by another nervous laugh.

‘’I KNOOOW.’’ Danny whined, slamming his head face first onto the bed. He dropped the mattress to tug at his hair.

‘’Why are we so awkward?’’ Tucker asked. Danny could hear him anxiously playing with the bedsheets now.

He lifted his head back up, putting his chin on the bed instead.

‘’I don’t know man.’’

It turned out he didn’t screw up after all. Apparently they both liked each other.

He felt relief flooding him when his brain finally registered what this meant. His heart was still beating loudly in his chest, but at least the vibrations of his core became softer. Almost like a very quiet purring.

He liked him back. They liked each other back.

So why were they being so awkward about it? Both of them knew now how the other felt. It shouldn’t be awkward anymore.

But on the other hand both of them were also clueless nerds with little to no experience in dating, too shy and afraid to initiate anything.

At least they were afraid together.

Danny took a chance and very slowly reached his hand out to Tucker’s. The other boy flinched a bit when their shaky hands made contact, but instead of retreating he just awkwardly adjusted the position, so they were softly holding hands.

Danny smiled at Tucker and he smiled back.

It was something new for them both, but they’ll be fine. They’ll figure this out at their own pace. Small steps and all.

Before Danny could voice his thoughts Tucker pulled on his hand and pushed his sock under his nose again, laughing maniacally.

‘’EW TUCKER. Way to ruin the moment!’’ Danny yelled laughing and threw himself on the other boy.

‘’You were being too awkward!’’

‘’Says Mr. Confidence!’’

Yeah, they will definitely be just fine.

They wrestled again. Maybe it was still a bit awkward. Maybe they were more aware of the other's movement or where and how they touched. But it was fine. Danny felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of his chest. And judging by the genuine smile on Tucker’s face the feeling was mutual.

When they got tired of playing around, they laid down on the bed and talked a bit more under the cover of darkness with Danny’s glow in the dark stars acting as a source of light. (They’ve had so many sleepovers at his house that even Tucker learned to ignore the big, bright FentonWorksTM sign casting neon light from the window by now. Only the stars mattered.)

They fell asleep like that, the god forsaken half-inflated mattress laying forgotten on the floor.

And when they woke up the next morning, cuddled up to each other, everything finally felt right.

…

‘’Dude, is that you purring?’’ Tucker gave a half suppressed laugh. Danny only hit him with a pillow in response.

#take a shot every time a right moment is mentioned #kad writes #thats a new tag #danny phantom #savant par #phic phight 2023

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studentbyday · 6 months

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me on monday: decided to make a merve-like study schedule so hopefully i can overcome overwhelm and procrastination. 🤓 "+" means any amount of bonus time if i feel up to it, but i don't *have* to do more than already specified here.

D-40 DAYS TO FREEDOM

me today: i really wish i didn't have to study today. despite the study schedule, i spent way too much time procrastinating in bed.

also i started using obsidian today and it's...basically like OneNote?? the learning curve isn't even that huge. maybe the confusion starts when you try to zettelkasten and use plugins. i like it (zettelkasten) in theory, but i don't think it's for my already overwhelmed (and highly unorganized and scattered) brain struggling to understand the info for the first time on a tight schedule 😵‍💫

study:

send biochem paper (1st draft) ✅ (it's not done, but the 1st draft is ungraded and i have bigger fish to fry today)

write biochem discussion post ✅

1 section of mol bio notes (2 long sections total this week 😵‍💫) ✅ (why is it that accepting that i can't actually store in long-term memory all the new info they throw at us in the time they allot feels like giving up? i just got my midterm mark back and i didn't actually score that bad but i am exhausted just thinking that i have to do it all over again in december 😭 and then i'll wanna review the course content so that i don't feel so awful about myself not remembering things long-term, but this time at a more leisurely pace)

start mol bio assignment ✅ (and by that, i mean 1 tiny question 😂)

notes on 1 of 2 psyc ch from last week ✅

watch psyc overview + start 2nd ch from last week ✅ (thank god it's sm shorter than the 1st one 😵‍💫😌)

self-care:

physio exercises ✅

⏰: i expected the struggle but i made it to 5h today! i really need to take the breaks seriously tho, if i'm to last for longer...tmr i might have to try for 8 or so hours again, instead of the 4 planned above bc tHeRe'S sOoOo mUcH tO dOoOoOo (and i wanna finish them asap) 😵‍💫

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jehilew · 1 year

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I’m chipping away at a one shot for the fake dating prompt, but true to fashion, I procrastinated (or rather, my muse did), and I’ve only just started. I might not finish it by today, but I’ll give y’all the intro. This is still in word-splat stage, I unfortunately have a lot of shit to do today, so it’s not edited. As soon as I finish, I’ll polish it up, so this will likely look fairly different as an end product. But I hope you enjoy the set-up nonetheless!

The show has gone exactly as expected.

What hadn’t gone exactly as expected was the character couple hitting true star status.

The X-Men has a fabulously talented and well established cast, and theirs were characters never slated for stardom. They’d only ever meant to be supporting drama, perhaps a fling one season, and moved on by the next.

According to some articles, that’s not the case at all.

“Rogue and Gambit, played by the unreasonably beautiful and talented pair, Anna D’ Ancanto and Remy LeBeau, are the next season’s must-watch couple, coming to the forefront next— oh my lord,” Anna huffs out a soft laugh, dropping her phone unceremoniously on the table. The headline of the article she’d just read still blares off the screen, piquing the interest of her lunch companions.

“Forefront, huh?” The decidedly handsome man across from her snorts through a lopsided grin. Remy reaches for her phone and scans the article, brows scrabbling up his forehead. “Talk about making a mountain out of a molehill,” he chortles, “they’re going on about that picnic ‘date’ like it was actually anything remarkable.”

“Pfft, what was remarkable about it was that god-awful outfit I had to wear. That top itched.” Anna wrinkles her nose in memory.

“We all could tell,” Isabel laughs, brushing her blonde pixie curls out of her eyes. “You were scratching along the hem of your titties so much, you had that red spot everyone insisted was a hickie.”

“I’m never living that one down,” Anna states in long sufffering tones, very vividly recalling how fans of The X-Men had gone positively feral over that stupid rash. Speculations had somehow deduced that she and Remy were dating, and he’d given her the hickie. Rumors had flown through all possibilities of when and where, finally (through much triangulation involving photos before and after the scene shoot) settling firmly that they’d hankie-pankied off somewhere on set, and she’d gotten it then.

“Nope. I’ll never allow it,” Isabel declares around a French fry, “because then they’ll come after me again.”

“You just have a way with fans, huh?” Remy teases, “they just love to hate you.”

“Oh, shut up,” Izzy snits back, “they love me. They just can’t pair us off ‘cause we’re cousins, and so they have to hate me.”

“They figured out we were cousins because they hated you,” he chortles back, referring to yet another rabid fan shenanigans resulting in it being figured out that Gambit and BellaDonna cannot be together (or shipped), and therefore not in the way of their precious Romy, as they’re called, because ones Remy LeBeau and Izzy McLean are, in fact, cousins.

Cousins so very far removed, genetics and society wouldn’t give even half a damn, and so very far removed, neither of them had even been aware of the fact or even of each other’s existence prior to joining the show, but cousins nonetheless.

Fans, Anna has come to understand, are goddamn bats.

“Hey, but listen,” Izzy leans forward, “what if y’all did date?”

In unison, Anna and Remy throw her quelling looks.

She shrugs in immediate defeat. “It was a thought, is all. You’re both gorgeous and single,” she stresses at Remy, “it’d be absolutely phenomenal press.”

“Yeah, he’s freshly single,” Anna argues, “and a lot of that circles around the rumors. I doubt he’d want that attention. I know I don’t,” she firmly adds, glancing across at the man of conversation.

Remy refrains from comment, instead pushing up his glasses and paying an awful lot of attention to his food.

She feels a little sorry for the guy. The divorce had been nasty, and the fans had been brutal. Thus far, he’s been tight-lipped about it, carrying on with his usual content, nerdy self. She knows it’s hit him hard though. He and wife had been happy once, and they’d been ridiculously cute together.

Alas, Hollywood is a rough on marriages, and had eaten theirs for snack.

She lets the crickets chirp in the awkward moment, having nothing to add to it, and focuses on her food, too.

Not a chance on this side of hell will she allow the business to eat her alive next. She’s got a little too much skin in the game, and not just her own.

#fake dating #gambit #rogue #remy lebeau #anna marie lebeau #romy #rogue/gambitweek2023

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inkofamethyst · 2 months

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March 5, 2024

This was the week I entered the Slog, officially, I think. I'm tired, science is against me, I have so much due, I don't want to do any of it. And the longer I procrastinate, the later I stay up, the more miserable I am in the morning. Repeat ad infinitum or whatever.

I think I might go through The Crane Wives’ discography again when I learn bass lol (I promise I’m going to let this mini-fixation fade eventually (for now), it’s just that I’m antsy). There’s a range of simple to intermediate bass lines that I can appreciate by ear even now. From what I can hear, I think Upstate might use an upright bass to fit with their more acoustic sound (not that I’d be against playing grooving along, it’s just that it wouldn’t sound quite the same). (I'm gonna stay strong lol; it is literally not even possible with the current budget to push up the timeline.)

Also sticking to a four-year cycle may not actually be feasible because that'd put my next instrument at the end of my sixth year which is when I'm meant to graduate... An optimal time for a gifted new instrument, yes. Not optimal for learning one especially if I'm moving after graduation. Maybe I'll go three years before the next instead of four? Or dedicate more time to just improving on the ones I already know (/taking lessons)? Even still, I have no idea what I'd go for next, anyway. Sense would indicate a brass instrument, but ughhh I'm just so not a brass girl. Maybe bari or euph? but certainly not trumpet or tuba and lord knows I haven't the temperament to learn the french horn. If I was going for a one-woman band situation, drums would make sense, but I don't think I have a drummer's.. dexterity (also all my life I've been told to not touch percussion so I think I'm gonna keep it that way).

Anyway I'm going to have to figure out if/when I can bring my other instruments up here. Def after I move out of this apartment.

Finally finished Kim Possible, excellent show, 10/10, no notes. Watched Batman: Mask of the Phantasm because I wanted a bit more time to veg out today, and it was in the style of s1/2 btam which was a fun throwback (esp with the music style). Also finished The Fifth Wave trilogy. The subsequent books weren't as good as the first, pacing-wise, I don't think, but the ending was appropriate and the character arcs were circular which I love. Cassie started out as my fav but I adore Ben's arc. Marika's and Evan's were not as compelling for me what whatevs.

God I really don't want to do my hw. Time to pack my lunch then, ig.

Today I'm thankful for occasional conversations with the second-year in my lab. What a lovely person to talk to and share ideas with.

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tohokuu · 1 year

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rant - mentions of death and suicide and blah blah blah

i feel like i only come on here to fucking rant lmfao

but hey ! at least it’s being put down somewhere and not shoved inside so then i can let it all out when things get too much and have a nervous breakdown LNFOAJF

i need therapy

like genuinely i need to get help !!

but help does not exist !

western therapy does not work on eastern minds ! and ykw- it’s fucking true. therapy doesn’t fucking work for some reason. that’s a beef reference

i just finished beef btw. great show. binge watched it and ignored all of my missing work… ahaha…

i miss when i was motivated my first semester of college and used to have the mentality.

“hey, if you get it all done now, you won’t have to feel guilty about procrastinating ! and then you’ll actually enjoy doing other fun things !” fuck.

so i lost 3 of my closest friends, so i’ve got nobody to text ya know ? but like we never really texted like that anyway but these were my go to friends yk ? the ones i always hung out with but they’re no longer here so now i’m lonely asf w nothing to do and i’m like …. heehee

just hanging there looking like a fucking L

like i’m a fucking loser LMFAO

i’m a loser

i bring nothing to the fucking table

i’m failing my classes bc i don’t understand anything anymore

i cant fucking write

idk how to fucking write

i don’t have friends

i’m fucking ugly

i actually serious hate everyone

my reputation is actually a lot worse than i had assumed btw ??? like … apparently there’s rumours abt me saying “she likes to ruin relationships for fun” and how “the things ppl hear abt me are unbelievable”

like is this fucking highschool ??? why are you focused on spreading rumors abt me instead of trying to fucking graduate college you stupid piece of fucking shit ???

and then this dickhead today i was talking to 😀 i tell this mf i need a job and ask if his place is hiring

he says “start an onlyfans” are you kidding. that’s so rude, inappropriate and disrespectful.

he knows i’m somebody that believes in God and i’m religious LMFAO ik i literally write porn on here for leisure but like … cmon 😀 seriously ? and this is a guy i barely know and ykw, everything in me was like “they’re all the same. they’re all the fucking same.”

and rn my sister just knocked on the bathroom door tryna fucking irritate me bc she can’t find my fucking gua sha like bitch you didn’t fucking ask to use it and no i don’t know where the fuck it is god leave me alone please

and then my mom keeps annoying me about coming down and grinding the chicken bc i was supposed to make dumplings today and freeze them but i’m fucking tired and it’s 10 pm and i’m not grinding chicken and then cooking it and making wontons. no. no. no. no.

i just want it to all stop. i just wanna breathe without my mind thinking a million fucking things at once. i feel like i can’t breathe without inhaling problems. i just wanna crawl into a fucking hole and fucking die. i literally want it all to stop. i don’t wanna actually die but i want to be happy please this week was shit. it was shit. i feel like shit. i just want it to stop. please.

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ferociouslycreativemystery · 1 year

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Thanks for the tag @timespacegirls !! :D

Get to know someone better tag game

1. Three ships

Ineffable husbands have chopped out and replaced a disturbing proportion of my brain. They're all I never knew I wanted and I will never need anything more in life no food no water no air no-

Then there's thasmin, of course! Love me some thasmin, and then... ohh I'm not sure? I usually go in for canon more than shipping, thoughIf I do fall in, I'm in hook line and sinker lol. Let's say destiel (or nandermo) for completeness sake—they're amazing too :)

2. Last song

Domino - Jessie J. The pre-chorous just popped into my head today for no reason (did I even know English well enough to understand it last time I heard it?) so it's been on repeat all day while I studied. Hope the neighbours appreciated my ugly-sing-along 😇

3. Last movie

Oh god this is gonna sound so pretentious, but Citizen Kane 🙈 Mum's on a "classics binge" and I suggested it, so since my brother's dragged dad into gaming and they'd occupied the living room with Fallout, we cozied up on their bed upstairs instead. It's been a very nice evening, and it is a very good movie!

4. Currently reading

THE LIGHT FANTASTIC. I'M 💕LOVING💕 ITTTT!!! Literally just put it down to write this and it's AMAZING! Twoflower as a blorbo is on par with Aziraphale and the Doctor imo, and I'm burning trough the discworld novels at a speed I didn't think I was capable of anymore (I guess there's also the fact I'm procrastinating uni work by reading to consider, but hush let's not dwell on that). I'm one-and-a-bit week(s) in and already on the second book, HIGHLY recommend to anyone who sees this and hasn't read them yet!! Can't wait to find out what other stories and characters await in the series 🤩

5. Currently watching

Ummm... nothing I think? I'm veeerryyy slowly making my way through A League of Their Own, but since I started reading I'm taking a bit of a break from getting into new series atm. Just finished Wednesday a few days back though, and thought it was quite good! 🙂

6. Currently consuming

Nothing 😂 had kalops (a like in Amanda, o like in Oliver. amazingly nonsense-name for a dish, sounds like a horse galopping lol) for dinner. Apparently it's just a swedish/finnish thing, but it's a meat stew with carrots, allspice and bay leaf. It's very nice!

7. Currently craving

Not much actually, which is quite nice. Sure, I'm always open to stuffing my face with some Fazer chocolate, but rn it would feel a bit 'meh'. It's nice not having sugar cravings 24/7 since I limited myself to one day of sweets a week. Otherwise just for exams to be over. And sleep!! 😵

God that's a lot of text, I'm incapable of restraint in writing 😂 tagging @aracloptia , @sevenmilliongoldfish & @sp-aace if you'd like to share! (no pressure though!!) 😊 Anyone else who wants to, feel free to join as well!

#maddie debrief

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sjweminem · 2 years

Note

Random question but you would know better than me lol uhm.👉👈 how do you deal with procrastination, if you deal with it at all? I have qn opportunity that would be great for me but i keep putting all the shit i need to get done for it off and now i have a week and im still sitting here freaking out instead of doing anything and it truly kills the man

honest to god? personally? drugs. stimulants. just look hard enough. research thoroughly. but also i DON'T recommend this lol

on the sober side, if you can establish a legit exercise (at least 1 hour) regimen you'll find your other life obligations start to seem smaller, manageable, even way easier, and your motivation will have grown in strength as well. it takes time but it works.

with this being said, i have severe executive dysfunction, ALWAYS have, and my brain damage makes it hard to physically see objects like trash or laundry so i avoid tidying UNLESS it is specifically requested and within a specific timeframe. i haven't been in school in a very long time but believe me all those grade-A essays and research papers got done the night before ( 😎 ) today, much older, i have the same problem.

oh yeah also utilize those browser extensions that block sites you specify, phone and computer, for selected periods of time. make sure there's no way of getting around those blocks!!!! a very very permanent decision for desktop browsers is an unremovable app called 'self control' which has NO way of overcoming, even if you delete the extension. i'm sure there are mobile versions too.

now go find yourself a browser extension, dip your toes into exercise (if you don't work out already), and stop using this website to message me!

#i kinda have a head start on the exercise side at any time but. you know.#anonymous #correspondence

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thegodshavehorns · 2 years

Text

Into Thin Air (3/4)

Chapter 3. Without Awareness

Your name is Roxy Lalonde, and you are a single, working mother of a precocious little four year old daughter. You work from home, mostly, and can afford childcare services for when you need to be at the office.

Today, Rose is going away to preschool for the first time. You escort her to the bus, pat her gently on the top of her little head, and away she goes.

You go to the car and drive back the way to the house (you don't mind walking the distance, when you're not wearing heels, but you think it might be a bit far for Rose). The mansion seems awfully quiet, without Rose in it. Still, you are both a workaholic and an alcoholic, and your country estate is very nearly bucolic. You have no shortage of things to do.

You check your email. You have a message from TwinArmageddons, but do not feel fear or dread at encountering the handle. It's not at all out of the ordinary, to get company mail from the CEO. The contents of the message are, however, personalized and somewhat cryptic.

there2 2omeone you 2hould meet. contact thii2 number a2ap:

Followedby a phone number. Odd. Well, you are in no rush to please the god, CEO or not. By now, you are aware that, despite your lack of choice as to the role of your own destiny, you can still rebuke the gods in other, more subtle ways. Procrastinating getting in touch with... whoever this is... is one way to do so. After all, the gods can only punish you so much before it starts to interfere with their plans.

You feed the cat. You mix yourself a martini. You scan your newsfeed (mostly bad, which is normal). You go down to the lab to check the latest readings (mostly normal, which is bad). You do some calculations and refinement of the data. Then, you mix yourself another martini.

The house is very quiet. No television, no shrieks of joy or displeasure, no Rose's piping voice, reading aloud to herself or to Jaspers. You mix yourself a martini.

You should probably call that number before you get too tipsy.

"Hello?" The voice on the other line sounds male. "Stanley speaking. Who is this?"

"Roxy Lalonde of SkaiaCorp Labs, pleased to speak with you," you reply, putting on your most chipper tone.

You pause and wait for him to recognize your name, but instead he responds: "I'm sorry, but I'm not interested in anything you're selling."

The smile you'd plastered on falters. "Well, I'm not selling anything, Stanley. I'm calling because a certain acquaintance of mine suggested we should talk?" Silence. "...A certain_ divine _acquaintance? Is any of this ringing a bell?"

More silence, then a slight rustling noise. The sound of a door shutting, in the background. Then, in a faint, near-whisper. "Is this about... John?"

"Uh, sorry?"

"No." His voice sounds ragged, desperate, entirely different than when he picked up the phone. "This is his first day of preschool, please, please, is he, did they... did they find him?"

You frown. "I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about, I-"

"My son."

Ah. This, at least, is something you can connect with. "You know, it's my daughter's first day at preschool, too. It feels strange, doesn't it, letting them off into the world like that? I didn't expect it, but I'm feeling rather adrift without her," you confide. Still more silence, so you continue; "I'm sure your son is doing fine."

"Did they tell you to say that?" His words are harsh.

"Stanley," you say kindly. "I haven't the faintest gods-damn clue what you're talking about, so I'll stop mincing words. My boss is the Mage of Doom, may his eyes burn forever, and he told me to call you without explaining who you were or what I should say or why. 'Kay? You gotta throw me a bone here."

"The Mage," Stanley says, and lets out a long, long breath. Then, "He's the one who told me about John, years ago."

"Great, tell me about that."

You talk about John for a while, his strange origins and Stanley's hopes for his future. You assure Stanley that John will be all right in preschool. Then, you talk about Rose. You say rather a bit less about her origins, but freely brag about her cleverness, her huge vocabulary, her above-grade level reading. The two of you commiserate about being single, working parents. Of course, you pick up right away what is going on, that his son is like your daughter, but keep your cards close to your chest about the apocalypse. You have a feeling that telling him won't end well. Then... shit, it's time to pick Rose up from the bus stop. You bid Stanley, who seems to be in a different time zone, a hasty farewell.

In the car, Rose chatters nonstop about preschool, and you smile and nod, shelving away mentions of ponies and music lessons for future extracurricular options.

You save Stanley's number in your phone. It might come in handy, later.

Your name is Roxy Lalonde, and for the first time in a long while, you have a friend.

"-So that's the note I left under the television," Stan finishes his story, sounding proud.

"That's good parenting strategy," you reply, smiling into the phone. "I'll have to think of something fun like that for Rose."

"It's not _only _for fun," Stan objects. "It's also to mark the milestone, as he grows up."

You make a noncommittal sound into the phone. Your thoughts about Rose growing up are... complex. "Hold on, I've got to show you something."

Rose is psychoanalyzing Jaspers in the next room, and it's cute as all get-out. You mute the phone, sneak up to the doorway, and try to poke the camera lens around the corner for a clandestine 'candid' photo.

Unfortunately, your efforts are to no avail. "Eek!" your first-grader yelps, hurriedly trying to conceal her notepad. "Mom!! This is a confidential psychiatric session! You can't see!"

Jaspers simply looks at you and blinks slowly, unfazed.

"Okay, alrighty, sorry Dr. Rosie," you say, inclining your head, not sorry at all. "Not even to put in a holiday card, huh?"

Rose pouts. She's just so damn cute. "No! You're undermining the patient-doctor relationship!"

"Okay hun, okay, I'll leave you be." You close the door and look back at the phone. You have a lovely picture of Rose flailing and shouting at you. It'll have to do.

You send the picture to Stan and unmute yourself. "Isn't she precious? She says the cat suffers from a Napoleon complex. I didn't even know they taught about Napoleon in first grade, L-O-L!"

Stan chuckles, the sound rich and deep. You like it when he laughs. "She's quite talented. And grown a lot, it looks like, since the last picture."

"No kidding! She's gonna eat me out of house and home, at this rate!" That last is not true. You have more than enough house and home for Rose's appetite.

You pause. Over the course of your friendship, you've learned that Stan always appreciates questions asked of him to be straightforward. "Why don't you ever send any pictures of John?"

Silence, and you can hear Stan breathing. You wait. "I... still have a hard time giving identifying information about him to... someone who works for the gods. You understand."

You nod, though he can't see it. "Sure, but, I work for the Mage, and he already knows about you and John. I don't exactly talk to a lot of other gods on the regular." You pause again. "Look, he introduced us, and that's not a coincidence. He clearly wants me to help you, or you to help me, in our respective... roles. Just because we don't know exactly how, isn't a reason not to engage with this stuff."

"I'm not interested in playing a god's game." Stan's tone is firm.

"Oh, Stan..." If only he knew. You want to tell him, very badly. But, even if John is like Rose, Stan is not like you. He's not necessary to the gods' plans, and that makes him expendable. You don't even know the real extent of how bad it could get, if he learned about the apocalypse at this stage. "I know it's not a game. I understand. You don't have to do anything you're uncomfortable with. But... I do value our friendship. I hope that doesn't count as 'a god's game,' for you?"

"No," he says, after a moment. "It doesn't. I value our friendship as well."

"Sure." You smile. "Maybe one day you'll even send me a picture of yourself. I bet you're real handsome."

He coughs and sputters. Your smile grows wider. You like having that effect on him.

When he hangs up, you notice a faint smell of smoke, and your heart nearly stops. Rose.

Thankfully, it's just Rose trying to burn Jasper's psychiatry notes on the stovetop in the kitchen, and nothing important is on fire. You scold her for using the stove without asking permission, and have her help you clean up the scraps of paper. As you do, you can't help but glance at what's written on the still-legible ones.

How odd. All they say is MEOW.

Your name is Roxy Lalonde, and it's late. You swish your martini in its glass, then speak into the phone. "Maybe one day we'll meet in person. Somewhere in the middle of the country equally far from both of us, in some ratty motel where no one suspects a thing."

"Roxy?" He sounds taken aback by your forwardness.

"Nah, you're right, I don't do 'ratty.' We can wine and dine on a cruise ship with fireworks going off in the background like proper grown-ups."

"Roxy, you're an exceptionally lovely woman, truly, but I can't take so much time off work, and I'd have to get a sitter for John..."

You sigh. You dated boys when you were younger, but your whole adult life, you've never gone steady with a man. But this single dad in Washington, he makes you blush like a schoolgirl, and you've still never seen his face. You allow yourself the fantasy, and forget, for a little while, to worry about the future. Nine years.

"...so I don't think a trip makes sense right now."

"Well," you consider. "I could come visit you. Rose will be in school."

"I don't think... what about your work?"

"They can live without me for a weekend."

Silence on the other end. You close your eyes."You're still worried about the gods." Deep breath. "Stan, I'm not asking you as an agent of divinity or anything, I'm asking you as a friend and as a confidante, and as someone who... would like to be more than that."

"Roxy, you don't even know what I look like." He sounds uncertain. Doesn't he believe your words?

There is a pause. Then, you hear your video-chat app chime.

He comes on screen, and you smile. He doesn't look like how you expected, but you don't mind. When he smiles back at you, that's all that matters.

Your name is Roxy Lalonde, and you are completely sloshed tonight. You're holding a mop, because Rose is asleep and you're going to clean your immaculate floors. Properly housewife-style, despite that you're no one's housewife and probably never will be. "Eight years, after all!" you say to the mop in a sing-song tone. The mop can't hear you, it's a mop, and the past doesn't predict the future but the gods sure do, so you brandish your cleaning implement at the floor a bit then realize that you forgot the bucket of soap and water. Oopsie!

You realize your phone is ringing. You can hear it. How long has it been ringing? You're not sure! You go to look for it, lightheaded, swaying a little as you walk. Where is it? It's stopped ringing. Fuck.

By the time you find it, it has a text message from Stan. Fuck! Stan called! It is probably for the best you didn't pick it up; he doesn't like it when you're like this. But you want to talk to him! You decide to call him back, but first you read the message.

HE TOLD ME HE WAS TOO OLD TO SLEEP IN ONESIES, BUT HE'S WEARING THE DINOSAUR PAJAMAS YOU SENT. I THINK HE LIKES THEM AFTER ALL.

There's a picture. John, eight years old today, standing in his room with a gap-toothed grin, displaying his birthday haul: a bunch of robot toys, a few Magic Treehouse books, and wearing the t-rex onesie you sent him. Kid's going through a dinosaur phase, you see.

You start to smile, but what catches your eye next strangles your happiness in its crib.

The clowns are everywhere, scrawled in indigo paint. Fanged, vicious, purple clowns, on the walls, the windows, the hardwood floor of John's room. Towering, looming over John's bed like horrible painted giants. And arrows, in purple likewise, pointing directly to where the boy would lay while asleep.

Well. That's ever-so-slightly sobering. You text Stan.

wow wuts wiaht the calown?s

A few moments pass before:

YOU'RE DRUNK, ROXY. YOU SHOULD GO TO BED.

dunno if i can afta seen all thoes clownz!!

YOU REALLY SHOULDN'T DRINK SO MUCH. IT'S VERY BAD FOR YOUR HEALTH.

ur 1 2 talkc u SMOK.

PLEASE, GO TO SLEEP. YOU'RE NOT YOURSELF WHEN YOU'RE THIS DRUNK. YOU'RE NOT EVEN SEEING STRAIGHT. I SENT YOU A PICTURE OF JOHN, NOT A CLOWN.

i meen the clowna on his wall omg there creppy af

WHAT CLOWNS?

purpl clonwns drawins in teh pic ture im not crazy

I DIDN'T SAY YOU WERE CRAZY. PLEASE GO TO BED. WE CAN TALK IN THE MORNING WHEN YOU'RE FEELING BETTER.

You continue to text him, describing the clown drawings in some detail, but he stops responding. Eventually, you pass out on the couch.

#alcoholism #drunkenness #roxy lalonde #rose lalonde #dad egbert #john egbert #godstuck fic #godstuck #homestuck fanfiction #homestuck #into thin air

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