There are a lot of conversations on my dash today about why Astarion might have been chosen as such a cornerstone to the Ritual, why he got so much "special attention" (because he used to be a magistrate/noble-adjacent and Cazador liked to degrade him because of it, because he resisted the hardest and was hardest to break, because Cazador saw himself in him, etc.), and it had me thinking, so without littering all over someone else's post, I'd like to add my personal little theory:
I don't think there was a real reason to it at all.
Like, for starters... I don't think Cazador really thought of his spawn as people. Maybe in the beginning, when he turned his first, there was something almost special to it, a connection, but after already having turned thousands, someone having been at one point a magistrate, or a doctor like Dalyria, or something would, imo, be of little importance to him. The person is already his spawn, his slave, and to care at all about their past life as a person would imply that he is not fully thinking of them as just playthings at best (and cattle at worst), as implements to be used, which I kinda... don't think he's about? He doesn't seem to care beyond who or what is useful and/or entertaining to him, not even for his own niece: even her, he seemed only to care about breaking, but afterwards... didn't really seem to pay much actual attention to her, or favor her much at all. Amanita could just stay in the attic for all he cared.
By thinking of them in terms of who they once were, he'd be temporarily giving them back their personhood, even just in his head, and that to me would imply that Cazador doesn't believe his control to be unshakable and absolute, which... the dialogue to me says that he probably does. Like there's dialogue if you go to him without Astarion in the party, when he says something like "[when you don't return from this place] he will come here, because he knows nothing else"- not a shred of doubt in his mind that Astarion is still under his control, even in absentia, and will come back if only there isn't another influence (the player) to keep him from it. Because Astarion's identity to Cazador is that of a spawn, and not a person. (Really uncomfortable to think about how Cazador probably sees more of himself in the player than he did in any of the spawn, just from the way he talks to you.)
This kind of plays into the whole "morality of immortal beings" thing I've already talked about before with Mystra, that Cazador, believing himself immortal (especially as vampire ascendant, I fully buy that he thinks himself a god then), also thinks himself and his will inevitable. He doesn't conceptualize his own mortality, he's content torturing the others and staying in veritable stasis for as long as it takes, and while it annoys him that Astarion is taking a long time and would prefer it if things sped up, he's certain that he will eventually get what he is "due". The suffering of others in the meantime be damned.
I think that there was honestly no real, thought-out reason for why Astarion specifically was "chosen" to be in such a precarious position of being the "favorite-but-not-favored" of Cazador. I don't think there was a true reason for why any of the seven were chosen over the other seven thousand to be the "family"- maybe they were the most, shall we say, aesthetically pleasing ones, or the ones with talents Cazador thought would make their "hunting" easier... or just the ones to whom he, for some reason, took a shine, like one would prefer one pair of socks over another. Maybe he just picked the nicest-looking pieces out of a pile of pebbles for no reason other than amusement.
I think many of us want to try to think of reasons why something so horrible could have happened to someone (especially someone that we care about, even if they're fictional), and try to find logic in abuse, if only so it can make some twisted sort of sense in our heads: He was prideful, he was hardest to break, he reminded the abuser of himself, etc., but... abuse is kinda inherently illogical. More often than not, it's less about conscious choices, and more about opportunity.
I genuinely think it was on a whim that Astarion was the focus. Forcing him to ask to be made into a spawn, a slave, and having him claw his way out of his own grave was probably enough of a "putting the magistrate in his place" thing, and maybe the true reasons were literally only as frivolous as he says, that his screams "sounded sweetest", and Cazador just... liked seeing a pretty face ground into the dirt.
Sometimes it... really is that simple.
Yeah.😕
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