That’s very cool, I have always wondered how many writers/accounts speak arabic…

Please let me know who do, I would love to follow them!

i don’t know much to be quite honest with you…😭😭stumbling upon arabic speakers on girl group smut tumblr surprises even ME!

but you might wanna check out oomfie @lilacura (hey girl) she mostly writes angst but she’s an arabic speaking queen so likee

hihihiiii!!!!

can I request the main 4 with an fem s/o who is a actor in a famous tv show? I love ur work SM!!!

Team Stan with an s/o who is an actor in a TV show📺🎬🎬

Warnings: None

Gender: Female

💙 Stan Marsh 🌀

This boy probably never knew you were an actor of a TV show until he was watching Terrence and Phillip and an ad of the show you're acting for came up on the TV.

He was a little annoyed at first because this random TV show out of nowhere interrupted his session of watching Terrance and Phillip.

He was about to change the channel back to Terrence and Phillip until he saw an actress come up to the front of the stage and announce the next episodes they're going to be playing in.

Stan immediately without another second recognized you by your voice as soon as you started talking.

You're an actor of a TV show? Why didn't you tell him? How is this even possible?

When he met up with his friends at school, they told him about this famous TV show that is going around in south park and it's the one that had you as an actor in it.

And that's when Stan saw you organizing your locker for your next class, mostly everyone in the school didn't know you were the same actress that was on TV.

You had no idea how much Stan enjoys watching the show, he mostly only watches the episodes that features you in it.

Stan wonders if he should or should not confront you now that he knows you're an actor.

He will confront later, for now he just wants to enjoy your presence and hearing your voice in this TV show that he's now going to get addicted to watching to.💙💙💙💙💙💙

💚 Kyle Broflovski 🌲

When his mom heard this new TV show that has gotten really popular recently, she had to check out it before she lets her son watch it.

And let's pray that she doesn't find anything wrong with it or else she probably might complain and start a war with the state or country that owns this TV show you're performing for 😭😭😭😭

But anyways, just like Stan. Kyle never knew you were a famous actress for the TV show that has gotten popular.

That was until he saw everybody in school crowding you and talking about how they saw you in the TV show they watched.

Of course Kyle didn't believe it but went to go check it out for himself to see if everyone was lying.

He was actually surprised when he saw you acting as a character in one of the episodes, I guess everyone was telling the truth after all but why did you never tell him about this?

But he brushed it off since you probably weren't comfortable enough to tell him so he won't hold you accountable for that. But he is still curious.

Even if you didn't tell him you were an actress of the TV show, he didn't mind it either way.

This TV show probably might be even better then Terrance and Phillip 💚💚💚💚💚

❤️ Eric Cartman 🍔

Okay kewl.

You actually told him about it yourself and he responded with his normal 'kewl'. It may seem like Cartman doesn't care but he actually watched the TV show you're an actress for.

If the company that owns the TV show is holding an intermission standby where fans of the show can come in and meet the actresses. He's definitely going to go to it so he can see you.

You were actually surprised to see that Cartman came. You don't know how big of a fan he is of the TV show.

If his friends find out they'll probably tease him about it with Cartman also denying and saying that he thinks the TV show is shit and whatnot.

Even if you talk to Cartman about it, he'll still be in denial but you know your boyfriend's ways, he definitely likes it.❤️❤️❤️❤️🏵️

🧡 Kenny Mccormick 🐁

You indeed also told Kenny about it, but he probably won't be able to watch it since the television he has is really old and rusty and it doesn't always work.

But he is also amazed to see you actually being an actress of a show that has gotten popular in his school even his friends are also talking about it.

Kenny probably begs Cartman to let him use his TV so he can watch the episode that has recently aired that involves you in it.

Cartman of course has to be an ass about it so his mom gladly allowed Kenny to use the TV.

And when Kenny is watching the episodes, he barely even sleeps because he doesn't want to miss a single moment when you are on screen. The mf needs some sleep 😭😭

So you decided to step in and help Kenny get some sleep.🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡

What do your moots remind you of?

wait wait this gonna be a long ass list. all under the cut. interesting question tho anon 😵‍💫

@tojiluv ⌇ ory

the smell of office documents and coffee. you radiate a comforting vibe but at the same time you have like 7261616377271 works for complete so you escape to cafés.

@amourlyns ⌇ ven

sports cars speeding through the night. maybe it's the previous batman theme, but you really remind me of those soothing late night drives through cities.

@itonashi ⌇ shina

bone china mug and any type of tea. i can picture you sitting and drinking tea from the bone china mug and humming to yourself saying "mm yes yes... tea."

@syomi ⌇ syo

wine red stilettos and a jazz bar. you remind me of an elegant woman in an old jazz bar just fancying her night through with a drooling group of men who tries to get your attention.

@anqelically ⌇ angel

japanese cherry blossoms and spring mostly. you're like a pretty sakura. you LOOK like a pretty sakura. you are a pretty sakura. so cute right. ily angel ur really an angel 🩷

@yuquinzel / @luvmequmi ⌇ hana

flowers! definitely a white tulip or a camellia. you're so sweet and you treasure + honour your friends more than yourself. so, you deserve a flower or two occasionally as achievement.

@noomon ⌇ noo

raincoats and gumboots. noo you're like a soul that always goes out after the rain stops just to jump in puddles. or or, you'd go out in the rain just to dance in it.

@caelivir ⌇ kory

a stoic apothecary. idk you remind me of someone who'd be so obsessed with testing poisons and finding a cure/medicine to everything. all done in pure stoicism.

@saewako ⌇ winter

snowy trails and misty fogs. you highly remind me of a tired village girl escaping from home and now she walks through the snow and mist with sore, red feet. heha.

@milyz ⌇ mila

clouds and a farm. you're not working on the farm though. you're a visitor of the farm and you'd sit by the balcony of the inn just to stare into the clouds. bonus if you're drawing.

@hyoismbbg ⌇ vy

konapun toys. especially the popin' cookin' ones. or a japanese drugstore. you're definitely someone who likes to buy bags of stuff from cheap drugstores.

@httpshujii ⌇ ray

red lipstick and leather jackets. add in some knee-length boots and you'll rock the look. to put simply, you remind me of a sweet, kind, and cool rockstar girlfriend.

@okkalo ⌇ kalo

bubblegum and cotton candies! you actually remind me of very sugary treats that either melts in your mouth or will have an enjoyable time chewing.

@saelestia ⌇ rain

vivienne westwood's gunmetal orb heart lighter. fancy and classy, that's the vibe that you give off. i chose a lighter because there's also a fierce and fiery side of you.

@kyoghurts ⌇ kenji

i've said this before, and it's the smell of a bakery. like the scent of a very sweet dessert. red velvet cakes, soufflé, grape-flavoured cheese tarts.

@rninies ⌇ kylin

yves saint laurent's opyum sandles. no because honestly my first thought after like checking your blog out, it reminded me of those ysl heels. and honestly? you'd look good in it.

@iluvies ⌇ luvie

white butterfly koi fishes. they're so majestic and beautiful and they honestly remind me of you, someone's who's so kind and beautiful like a butterfly koi. you're very gentle too!

@todorokies ⌇ knives

would it be funny if i said actual knives? okay maybe not... but daggers or swords. the ones which are freshly forged and ready for battle. you're like a honourable warrior. so kewl.

@steleir ⌇ vegas

penthouse night parties. along with some cool fruit punches, party music, a pool, disco lights, vice versa. all the cool fun stuff during the night because you're a cool and fun person!!

@omitea ⌇ sinnie

green tea and zen gardens. you remind me of a japanese girl who sits by the engawa (wood corridor) of an old japanese-style house's garden, relaxing with nature.

@wishmemel ⌇ safi

pearls. simply... pearls. because you're a really elegant person and all you remind me of is fancy and naturally expensive pearls. you're like a gem, an unobtainable one.

@noirflms ⌇ zen

laces and ruffle skirts. cute, coquette, soft. those are the elements that heavily reminds me of you. maybe even some strawberry shortcake and strawberry milk.

@saturvue ⌇ nyyra

gold jewelry. very specifically gold bangles. those really detailed ones worn by southern asian princesses. your name kind of sounds like a goddess' name too.

@kaiser1ns ⌇ kiki

love letters. those sweet, corny, and super romantic ones. oh and one of the letters which is from a secret admirer definitely talks about being crazy in love with you...

ok that's all. i think i missed a few people but these are all i got LOLOLOL i love all my moots and friends and sennies and senation

1, 4, 9, 12 for fandom love game :3

list 3 positive things about your current fandom(s)

-It has been around for decades, which means there is a rich and interesting history surrounding the community.

-The way some fans take background characters with very little screentime and build them up into something unique and compelling which can stand on their own.

-Honestly just the fact that there is an active fandom with AUs and OCs and stuff for a media that everyone and their grandma knows about is really cool. You might be shocked by how common it is for well known media to just not have an active community; so that makes this fandom really special.

4. say something nice about a ship you don't ship (it can be another ship in your fandom, a mutual's OTP, etc)

Shout out to Kyle and Eric shippers for utilizing Eric's fat, letting Kyle go apeshit, and writing hot smut. Also red and green is a nice combination.

9. a ship that isn't your OTP but that you enjoy

For the sake of answering this, I'm gonna say that Kenny x Everybody is my OTP. So, non-Kenny ships I enjoy:

-Rebecca and Estella

-Kyle and Nichole

-Stan and Tolkien

-Carol and Stuart

-Mayor and Victoria

-Laura and Mrs. Tweak

-Kevin and Shelly

12. compliment someone else in your fandom

-She hasn't been active in a while, but @princessmarionette is always a delight to see on my dash or in my activity. Also she made what I consider to be THE BEST kenny comic EVER, like PLEASE go check it out.

-@butters-flower-mom has lots of lovely headcanons about Butters and is generally nice to talk to. The way she depicts Butters is so in-character that sometimes I wonder if she's secretly a writer working for SP Studios.

-@trans-dwightschrute has been nice to me and her AUs are fun to hear about.

-@mystqueerion has an endearing amd infectious love for kenny and marj.

-@muttsterion has been a professional kenny lover for over ten years and counting. This place would not feel the same without her. Also she puts awesome fan art and nature vids on my dash.

-@buttfrovski a kewl dude. I have officially run out of ways to say "he is nice to me and fun to talk to" lol. Also his art is really cool; the shapes are canon accurate and there's lots of little touches added to make his digital art look like it's made out of paper. He's also really good at making the SP kiddos look good in different poses, something that can be surprisingly difficult.

-@green-alien-turdz is one of those artists whose work I can always recognize from art style alone. Detailed backgrounds, uniquely unconventional designs for the characters, and lifelike atmospheres, really elevate his fan content to the next level.

-@cheylouwho is an archivist queen who has been in the community for a very long time. She is the organizer behind the re-animate project, the official forum archival, and much more.

I posted 11,302 times in 2022

66 posts created (1%)

11,236 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@the-king-of-lemons

@okcomputerrr

@lamoorgalore

@yb-cringe

@bananasofthorns

I tagged 858 of my posts in 2022

#happy tap - 35 posts

#double life - 20 posts

#asdfghjkl - 18 posts

#goodtimeswithscar - 12 posts

#gtws - 11 posts

#empires smp - 9 posts

#hermitcraft - 8 posts

#grian - 7 posts

#minecraft - 7 posts

#mcc - 7 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#but i got the general area down tho letters that i dont often do i need to double check where they are and if i go too long without glancing

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

love wins

625 notes - Posted April 2, 2022

#4

AN: STOP FLAMMING DA STORY PREPZ OK! odderwize fangs 2 da goffik ppl 4 da good reveiws! FANGS AGEN RAVEN! oh yeah, BTW I don’t own dis or da lyrics 4 Good Chralotte.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

On the night of the concert I put on my black lace-up boots with high heels. Underneath them were ripped red fishnets. Then I put on a black leather minidress with all this corset stuff on the back and front. I put on matching fishnet on my arms. I straightened my hair and made it look all spiky. I felt a little depressed then, so I slit one of my wrists. I read a depressing book while I waited for it to stop bleeding and I listened to some GC. I painted my nails black and put on TONS of black eyeliner. Then I put on some black lipstick. I didn’t put on foundation because I was pale anyway. I drank some human blood so I was ready to go to the concert.

I went outside. Draco was waiting there in front of his flying car. He was wearing a Simple Plan t-shirt (they would play at the show too), baggy black skater pants, black nail polish and a little eyeliner (AN: A lot fo kewl boiz wer it ok!).

“Hi Draco!” I said in a depressed voice.

“Hi Ebony.” he said back. We walked into his flying black Mercedes-Benz (the license plate said 666) and flew to the place with the concert. On the way we listened excitedly to Good Charlotte and Marilyn Manson. We both smoked cigarettes and drugs. When we got there, we both hopped out of the car. We went to the mosh pit at the front of the stage and jumped up and down as we listened to Good Charlotte.

“You come in cold, you're covered in blood They're all so happy you've arrived The doctor cuts your cord, hands you to your mom She sets you free into this life.” sang Joel (I don’t own da lyrics 2 dat song).

“Joel is so fucking hot.” I said to Draco, pointing to him as he sung, filling the club with his amazing voice.

Suddenly Draco looked sad.

“What’s wrong?” I asked as we moshed to the music. Then I caught on.

“Hey, it’s ok I don’t like him better than YOU!” I said.

“Really?” asked Draco sensitively and he put his arm around me all protective.

“Really.” I said. “Besides I don’t even know Joel and he’s going out with Hilary fucking Duff. I fucking hate that little bitch.” I said disgustedly, thinking of her ugly blonde face.

The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Draco. After the concert, we drank some beer and asked Benji and Joel for their autographs and photos with them. We got GC concert tees. Draco and I crawled back into the Mercedes-Benz, but Draco didn’t go back into Hogwarts, instead he drove the car into……………………… the Forbidden Forest! 

Chapter 4.

AN: I sed stup flaming ok ebony’s name is ENOBY nut mary su OK! DRACO IS SOO IN LUV wif her dat he is acting defrent! dey nu eechodder b4 ok!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“DRACO!” I shouted. “What the fuck do you think you are doing?”

Draco didn’t answer but he stopped the flying car and he walked out of it. I walked out of it too, curiously.

“What the fucking hell?” I asked angrily.

“Ebony?” he asked.

“What?” I snapped.

Draco leaned in extra-close and I looked into his gothic red eyes (he was wearing color contacts) which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness and then suddenly I didn’t feel mad anymore.

And then…………… suddenly just as I Draco kissed me passionately. Draco climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree. He took of my top and I took of his clothes. I even took of my bra. Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time.

“Oh! Oh! Oh! ” I screamed. I was beginning to get an orgasm. We started to kiss everywhere and my pale body became all warm. And then….

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!”

It was…………………………………………………….Dumbledore!  

763 notes - Posted April 22, 2022

#3

IM LOSING IT

867 notes - Posted January 29, 2022

#2

canary

1,091 notes - Posted February 5, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

happy neil banging out the tunes

45,193 notes - Posted April 12, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

Okay so I'm back and wow I have so much to say

Firstly, welcome 🦄,🌺,🗽!

The ashnon family is genuinely becoming so much fun I just wish that we could have a group chat where we're anonymous too cause I'm better at small ass messages than lengthy paragraphs. Anyways, for the zodiac stuff, I'm a Libra, Sagittarius rising and moon in Libra too even though I barely know what that means because I haven't really checked out much in those terms, all I know is that Libras tend to have alot of crushes and are super lovey dovey people while I'm not really attracted to people and as I said before, in my picrew thing, people are kinda scared of me so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Also, LOVEGAME ANON HAS SUCH BIG BRAIN WITH SO MUCH BRAIN CELL WOWWWWWW HELP ME PLEASE AND DONATE SOME BRAIN I POSSESS AN EMPTY SHELL OF A HEAD

And dw bs, I know you're not cheating, so can we simp for lovegame anon's sexc brain together? Cause damn damn damnnn

But I'm sure that lovegame anon wouldn't be able to read into the characters this well if Ash didn't write them with so much thought behind each of them, so thank you Ash, you have big big brain too

Also am I the only person who thought that candy was definitely Hyunjin from the teaser because the synopsis literally says, "Definitely not like Hwang" or something like that which always means "it's definitely hwang" like okay anyways wowowow

Also Ash, you being a lyING SNEAK CHEAT HOW COULD YOU I GENUINELY THOUGHT THAT YOU MEANT THAT YOU WERE A SCORPIO AND THEN I PANICKED BECAUSE IT'S SCORPIO BIRTHDAY SEASON COMING UP IN A FEW DAYS AND I NEED TIME TO GET SOMETHING TOGETHER FOR YOU LIKE ???? I NEED WARNINGS

No but when you said that you were lying, I genuinely thought that you just wanted some gifts real quick and not the whole scorpios are bad ass bitches sort of thing 😭😭😭

Anyways, SLC is really vavavoom if you get what I mean, it's just so damn interesting. Your girl currently thinks that Ryujin is the hottest person in this entire series because she is, just look at her vibes and personality and everything. She's perfect. Felix is giving me very mysterious vibes, this boy really gotta sneak around and apparate and disapparate. Teach me your ways sir 🙇‍♀️

Also Lovegame, can you do an analysis of pp heart cause like ahahaha, bs anon, ash and I absolutely love it cause it's genius

ANYWAYS THAT'S ALL I THINK

-🍕

(CURRENTLY IN THE BATHROOM. WILL EDIT A REPLY TO THIS LATER BUT WANTED TO GET IT POSTED IN CASE OTHER ANONS GO ONLINE TO SEE IT)

(this is my new “reply is under construction photo”)

NEW EDIT:

was gonna remove the standholder reply but honestly it’s funny so i’ll keep it there.

ASHNON FAMILY pls, it sounds like im some shitty youtuber pls “HEYYOW 💫WELCOME BACK 🤪WHATSUP ASHNON FAM 💁‍♂️”. same i wish there’s an anon chat thingie somewhere idk 🤧. i checked out my astrology chart and i can’t find the rising but i’m a capricorn moon apparently so i’m ~emotional~ from being a cancer but i’m also ~cool, calm, and collected~ from the lunar capricorn thingie. i’m so 4D.

yes, honestly, lovegame such a smartie 😭🤧 she’s so kewl. and thank you 💀💀💀 you don’t have to sneak in a praise for me everytime JSHWJSHHSHSHWSH.

I ALSO THOUGHT IT WAS OBVIOUS FROM THAT TOO “iTs DefinIteLy NOT hyunjin 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️”—though i can excuse BS anon, because she knew right away that it was hyunjin, i just gaslit her into thinking otherwise bc haha 🙆‍♀️ got em. she was like “oOoh hyunjin” n i was like “ya sure?? 🤔🤔🤔”.

LMFAO. I DIDNT EVEN KNOW IT’S SCORPIO SEASON 😭😭😭 i just wanted to give off bad biddie vibes why would i want gifts, all ya’lls presence are presents on it’s own~ (jkjk) dw, i’ll remind you two months in advance if my bday’s coming HSHWJSHSHS i told ya’ll it’s coming up next year 💔💔💔

FELIX IS NOT REAL. he is indeed a mere ghostly apparition, everyone just has supernatural powers hence why they see him. the big reveal is that he’s actually candy and is like the supernatural force in Unfriended.

PP heart please 😭 someone requested a part two and i was like,,,, i’m sorry, i’m not doing one JSHWJSHSJSH. like i can’t even believe people READ it.

It girl pt. 3 - First training

Pairing: Mentor!Natasha Romanoff x Mentee!Reader, Platonic!Avengers x reader, Peter Parker x Reader (In the future)

Warning: Fluff with Mentor Nat, mention of family issues, a little low self-esteem reader :(

Summary: Natasha had once joked about picking a random new recruit trainee to teach all her skills since Tony had recently become Peter’s mentor. Fury sees this as a legitimate idea, and asks Natasha to choose her protège, code name: “it girl”.

Prologue Part 1 Part 2 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

———————————————————————

“Hey, ‘it girl’.” As soon as you walked into the ginormous gym, Captain freaking America and another buff guy with the name ‘White Wolf’ stood in all their glory. And, to top it all off, you’re pretty sure Captain America called you an ‘it girl’.

“Oh, yeah. ‘It girl’ is your code name. I think a lot of people are gonna be calling you that.” Natasha smiled, walking in beside you.

“Steve, Barnes, meet Y/N. Y/N, Steve, and Barnes.”

“My name is Bucky, Bucky Barnes.” He eyed Natasha warningly before his eyes softened, smiling as he shook your hand. “If you need anything, I’ll be in the tower, Doll.” The metal arm didn’t surprise you, as you already read, watched and knew about every single Avenger.

“And I’m Steve.” Steve took your hand, squeezing with a grip of a supersoldier. “You must be very talented if Nat picked you.” You opened your eyes wider to take in his appearance, he was bigger, taller and cuter than you imagined. Too bad he was like 100 years old.

“Thank you- I, I’m so honored.” You couldn’t think of anything else to say, still star-struck. You only ripped your eyes from the two when Natasha called out from the boxing ring.

“Don’t steal my Y/N, Rogers!”

The combat training was going pretty well, you learned how to knock someone out with your thighs today. Weapons training was moderately good, you hit your target around 60% of the time.

But you weren’t in real training until Steve and Bucky left after teaching you the basics.

As soon as they left, Natasha worked the hell out of you. About 2 hours later, you were dying.

Your lungs felt like they were being squeezed and shoved around, you literally could not feel your legs, sweat rolled down your neck like a waterfall, and you were questioning yourself for agreeing to be recruited.

“Ms. Nat, I think I’m dying.” You laid down on the yoga mat, looking up at the bright ceiling feeling helpless.

“You did good, Y/N. I’m proud of you.” Natasha’s voice toned down at the last sentence, so quiet that is was almost like a whisper. But you heard it, and it fills your heart up with pride.

“Thank you.” You restored the energy to sit up, grabbing your water bottle and chugging down the remaining liquid.

She chuckled from her spot at the boxing ring, leaning against one of the pillars in the corner. “How do you feel now?” She jumped out of the ring, walking up to you.

“It feels amazing. Unreal, I just...” You broke eye contact with her, gaze moving to look out of the glass wall. “I don’t know if I deserve to be here.” It was now your turn to quiet down, gaze falling onto your shoes.

“Hey, Y/N?” Natasha sat down beside you and placed her hand on your head, caressing it until you looked up again into her eyes.

“You’re here because you do deserve to be here. Sometimes, when we just keep seeing super-soldiers and Gods being heroes, we forget that there are heroes that live among us. I saw what you did in that shop the other day. You’re special.” Her features were soft, accepting and warming, something you desperately sought in your whole life. Your mother was a sweet lady, but her attention was always, constantly on your father, who never came home. She’s never really looked at you.

Your eyes turned glassy, tears welling up. Never in your life did you think that you’d find a sense of belonging, acceptance, comfort in the woman you’ve only met 2 times. But she was someone who’d say that she was proud of you, who’d give you a chance to be a part of something.

“Hey. Come on, Wanda baked cookies this morning.” She stood up and extended her hand to you, and you happily took it. By the time you stepped out of the gym, the smile had already returned to your face.

“Hey! There’s the ‘it girl’ I keep hearing about!” In the kitchen were Wanda Maximoff, Sam Wilson and Vision. Wanda was the first one to run up to you, pulling you in for a hug. The scent of roses tickled your nose, probably from her shampoo.

She let you go and looked over at Natasha, sending her a look of approval.

“I’m Wanda, this is Vision and that’s Sam.” The robot-looking human waved, and the falcon, or Sam, gave you a high five.

“I’m Y/N. Great to meet you guys.” You flashed them a smile while you deduced everything about them while they were distracted. The Avengers were interesting, and no harm in studying a little bit about them, right?

Wanda went off into the kitchen to grab her cookies, which she offered more than you could eat. While Nat made some calls, you hung out with the three of them for a while, stuffing your face with Wanda's delicious snacks. You bonded with them, especially Wanda with her age being closer to yours than anyone else in the building. The four of you gossiped endlessly about the Avengers until Natasha came in with Tony Stark around 6:30pm.

"Well, well, well, kid. You must be the famous Y/N." Tony revealed his striking brown eyes as he ripped his sunglasses off. You nodded and he shook your hand politely, looking up and down at you. "You look exceptional. No wonder they call you 'it girl'." He let go of your hand and again, you were met with this warm sensation of being accepted. You guessed that the Avengers had that effect on people.

"Thank you, Mr. Stark. You look dazzling as well." You played with your words graciously, commenting on Tony's million-dollar tailored suit. 

"I like you." He nodded to himself and patted Natasha on her back affectionately. You didn't miss Natasha's small smirk of contentment.

"Anyways, the car's here for you. You'll be sent home with the spider-ling, though, I hope you don't mind." He checked his wristwatch and made a quick exit, and you waved goodbye to your 3 new friends then walked with Natasha to the main door. 

"I see a lot of myself in you, Y/N. Come back tomorrow, I think Thor and Bruce'll be back by then." She pushed you towards the waiting car, standing back at the entrance with Tony. 

"Be safe." She whispered as she watched the car drive away, oblivious to the commotion happening in the car. 

"Y/N?!"  "Peter?!" 

"You're it girl??" "You're spider-man?!"

“You know, I heard that.” Tony side-eyed Natasha, while she gave him a death glare.

“They start to grow on you, don’t they?” Tony called out at Natasha as she walked away, he knew that you’d be a vital part of Natasha’s life in no time. Just like how that spider-ling of his became the son Tony never thought he’d have.

“That’s why you had the Stark internship?!”

“Well, yeah, it’s not exactly an internship...”

“Did a spider bite you too?”

“A spider bit you?!!”

Next chapter: Part 4

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Tales from the Dark Multiverse

Hi! Thanks for finding this tumblr. The plan is to share and write about comic books, comic book art, other things that interest me and such, thus the name of the tumblr. Maybe you share some of the same interests, or maybe you’ll discover something new.

I’m going to try to post as frequently as possible, but that frequency will vary depending on what real life is like week to week. On slow weeks, there will be more stuff, on busy weeks less.  You get it.  Hopefully if you check in now and then you’ll find some new content.

I work (worked?) in a comic book shop, but as I have been recently reminded, due to the COVID-19/Coronavirus epidemic, I am non-essential.  Thanks State Government! Always good to have a self esteem boost! 

Anyway… I love comic books, reading them, talking about them, (thinking about) making them and so on. Always have, always will. I wanted to have an outlet for sharing that while I can’t be in the shop doing it face to face with customers and random strangers. 

I’ll be writing short reviews for what I’ve been reading, new stuff, old stuff, posting pics, etc.  

 Feel free to comment, but please keep it friendly. Assholery will not be tolerated.

To start with I just finished reading all of DC Comics Tales of the Dark Multiverse one shots. 

                                     I made this in MS Paint!

These started coming out in 2019 and the last one was released in early 2020. The idea behind each is Tempus Fuginaut, a sort of Watcher type character for the DCU (who I think debuted, or at least I fist remember seeing in the Sideways ongoing, a Dark Nights Metal spin off) observing the multiverse and introducing a story that takes an important moment in DC history and asks “what would have happened if things had gone differently?” DC’s version of What If?  in a nutshell.

       That’s Tempus Fuginauts big ol’ head in case you were wondering

 As the “Dark” in Tales of the Dark Multiverse might imply, these are not happy stories.

The first one shot that was released was Tales of the Dark Multiverse Batman Knightfall by Scott Snyder and Kyle Higgens with art by Javi Fernandez.  

This was probably my least favorite of the five issues. Since the “No Justice” mini series event I’m over Scott Snyder. I feel he has so many ideas rattling around in his head that he begins one story, gets too excited about the next one and leaves you underwhelmed with the current arc but dying to read the next. (That being said I of course checked out Batman Last Knight on Earth, having read his and Capullo’s entire New 52 Batman run I didn’t want to miss their “final” word on Batman, but have not read his just wrapped run on Justice League which I hear was quite good). 

I read this one right when it was released a few months ago, so my memory of it might not be the best.  

This one centers around the Knightfall event where Bane breaks Batman’s back and Jean Paul Valley/Azrael takes on the role of Batman. In this reality Bruce never recovers and Jean Paul remains Batman becoming Saint Batman, a Bats Azrael mash up. Javi Fernandez does a great job on the art and Snyder loves chopping people up. 

                                                      Gross.

Definitely worth the read if you’re interested in it or are a fan of Batman or just the Knightfall era. If you grab this series in collected format it’s not so bad that I recommend skipping it, just not my favorite from this batch of books. 

Next up is Tales of the Dark Multiverse Death of Superman by Jeff Loveness with art by Brad Walker and Andrew Hennessey. I really enjoyed this one, it was a good quick read and had a nice arc to it. One of the better issues from this series if you’re asking me.

Right after Superman dies defeating Doomsday in the Death of Superman story arc, the rest of the Justice League shows up, literally as the blood is drying.Ten seconds too late. Lois Lane blames Supes’ death on the heroes for not being there to aid him. 

She makes her way to the Fortress of Solitude and thanks to the Eradicator gets herself all the powers of Superman. She then goes about dishing out justice, with extreme prejudice, to the villains the heroes normally let the revolving doors of the DC justice system handle. This involves a couple of great scenes with Batman and Lex Luthor. Loveness nails the dialogue and the character arc he puts Lois on is great to read. 

                                  Walker and Hennesey do it again!

There’s more to this story than I’ve put here, but I don’t want to say too much and ruin your enjoyment of it if/when you read it.

Special shout out to the art team of Brad Walker and Andrew Hennessey. I feel like they don’t get enough love. They killed it on the Demon Hell is Earth mini, and from what I can tell are crushing it on Detective Comics. Dudes can draw. Spread the word!

Then we move onto Tales of the Dark Multiverse Blackest Night by Tim Seeley and Kyle Hotz. 

This one was a bit wordy, but a lot of fun! I would put this one in the middle of the pack. 

Seeley brings together an interesting bunch of characters including Sinestro, Dove, Lobo and the New Gods! The plot is a little complex, but basically after the Color Corps lose the battle against Nekron in Blackest Night, Sinestro is looking for a way to undo the damage done and becomes a pawn in Scott Free’s plot to do the same. 

Give Seeley a Lobo book or a Hawk and Dove book, or a Mister Miracle book!. He gives each character a unique voice which makes their joint travels through the plot that much more fun to read.

Kyle Hotz’s  art in this issue reminds of a 90’s Image Comic in the best possible way. Lots of detail and cool poses. I also see a lot of Bernie Wrightson in there with Hotz’s heavy use of black and the sinewy musculature of the characters. The book is worth the price of admission to see his renditions of Dove and Mister Miracle. 

                                                          kewl!

 I’m glad to see Hotz working more or just seeing more of Hotz’s work. I don’t know if he fell out of the industry after drawing the original The Hood mini for Marvel with Brian K. Vaughan, working with Eric “The Goon” Powell on Billy the Kid’s Old Timey Odditys, doing art on Carnage Mind Bomb and more I’m sure ( I just can’t remember it all), or I just wasn’t paying attention to what he was working on. If it’s the later, shame on me, if it’s the former, welcome back Mr. Hotz, you’re crushing it and I look forward to seeing more from you. Check out more Kyle Hotz work by following him on Instagram @kylehotzcomics.

Let’s not neglect the oft overlooked inkers! I’m not sure who inked what, but on a guess, Dexter Vines and Walden Wong brought a smooth, cleanness to the proceedings with lots of nicely tapered lines. Again just guessing here, because I don’t know for sure, but Danny Miki used a finer line bringing a scratchy-ness the others didn’t but also amazing detail and clarity on some of the portraiture in the later half of the book. 

Who’s next? Why it’s Tales of the Dark Multiverse Infinite Crisis!

This one may have been my favorite. When the original Infinite Crisis series came out it was a period  where, due to personal lack of enjoyment, I wasn’t reading much of DC’s output, but I did read the Countdown to Infinite Crisis one shot this issue takes as it’s jumping off point. After having read this issue, it makes me want to go back and read Infinite Crisis. I would say that’s the sign of a good issue.

In this alternate reality Blue Beetle, Ted Kord, kills Maxwell Lord instead of vice versa, making himself the head of Checkmate. He then goes about trying to prevent the coming crisis. It’s kind of a tale about absolute power corrupting absolutely, it’s also an underdog tale about getting in over your head.

                Sorry if these images aren’t the best, I’m new at this!

James Tynion IV does a great job catching you up on any old DC continuity plot points you may have forgotten or never knew about in the first place.If you’re reading Tynion’s current run on Batman, or his work on Detective Comics and Justice League Dark, you know he can handle a complex plot like this and does a great job condensing it all down to a single issue.  Aaron Lopresti and Matt Ryan handle the art and they do a great job. Always happy to see Lopresti’s name on a book I want to read.

Bonus points: You can never have too many Ted Kord, Blue Beetle comics, especially when Booster Gold pops up, even if only momentarily. 

If this series leaves you wanting more Blue and Gold action may I direct you to Booster Gold (2nd series) #32 thru about 38ish for some quality comics.

Final one, Tales from the Dark Multiverse the Judas Contract!

I’m not as old as my writing may imply so I had to read the Judas Contract in collected format about 20 years after it was originally released and after having seen it on many a fanzine’s (Wizard) best of list.  When I finally got to read it I wasn’t super familiar with the Titans of the era and already knew the big twist in the story, so it just washed over me without any great effect. None of the shock that someone who was reading it fresh in the 80’s might have experienced. 

I ended up liking this twisted take on the Judas Contract much more than when I read the original. “Sacrilege!” I know, I know, but like I said there was no surprise when I first read it, while this one zigged instead of zagging multiple times and kept upping the ante in scale. 

Kyle Higgins and Matt Groom do a great job reinventing a classic that I’m sure many people had high expectations for. This was a fun faced paced tale.  I enjoyed the hero moments Dick Grayson and Wally West were given. Like the Knightfall one shot Higgins co-wrote with Snyder there’s no shortage of dismemberment and disfiguration, which is neither a plus or minus in this situation, just thought it was worth noting.

Tom Raney handles the art chores here and he does a fine job.  Some of the figures seem a little squat, and their heads are too big in certain panels. Could I do better? No, so who am I to say anything? I just noticed it, here and there, it took me out of the flow of the story every now and then. That’s all. Big fan of his work on Stormwatch and Outsiders with Judd Winick. I also hear he’s super nice, so if you’re ever at a convention where Tom Raney is, seek him out! 

                                      They seem squat, right?

It’s worth mentioning these books are all done in DC’s prestige format and are extra long at about 48 pages each. All covers are by the fantastic Lee Weeks. A nice way to spend the afternoon.

There’s the first post. A little longer than I thought it would be. If you made it this far, I hope it was clear and you understood what I was saying and I hope you liked it and want to return for more. 

Until next time!

Slightly different format, because I just needed y’all who didn’t know this song to hear it, okay? Okay, so I’m about as old as the characters parents could be, maybe slightly younger, because they probably had them a little later in adulthood than I’m far off from them, but I figured, close enough to use MY childhood/youth music for Charlotte’s mom’s taste. At least the general timeline. I named songs and artists, if y’all wanna ever listen to any of it. I haven’t/don’t know if I’m making a Determined Soundtrack/Playlist.

Pretty Brown Eyes

Alright. It was one thing to lean into his kiss, reciprocate his embrace and shift herself into his lap. But, she didn't have to go off the way she did for their first kiss. Because, not only did Charlotte do these things, but she also rocked against him a little, which in turn, he took as an invitation to explore her with his big, strong hands. 

She wasn't quite sure how awkward it must've been for Henry and Amelie to see them there when they left through the front door trying not to make any noise for the pair making out on the floor of the main hallway. But, she had to guess it was as bad as her realizing that they had to have seen them whenever they left, because the front door was right down that, very, hallway.

Eventually, she was the one who caught herself and ended the fun. Her head was spinning, nerves tingling and legs wobbling, but she found her senses and pulled herself together. Jasper was a pile of mush, except for the one thing, what, with her doing all that rocking against him. Ugh. Girl, a first kiss is supposed to be soft and sweet. You're not supposed to half grind the dude into the floor of your parents' house. She shivered thinking about his hands on her body, but it was time for that kiss to be put behind them.

"We can't be doing stuff like this," Charlotte said and helped him up. "I had a point before you did that and I don't even remember my middle name right now."

"The magic of love has rendered you temporarily futile…"

"No. The coursing of hormones has thrown off my equilibrium and it does not feel good."

He panicked. "But, it did though? The not good feeling is an afterthought, right?"

"You have to go and I need to lie down." He nodded and tried to give her a hug, but she placed her hands up to halt him and took a step back. “I’m serious.” He nodded and left her, scratching his head and hoping that his stunt hadn’t done the very thing that she was afraid of - ruined things between them.

.

Morning meetups were awkward. Jasper brought her breakfast, she brought his and Henry’s, but they didn’t really say much to each other. Instead, she spoke to Henry about everything but Jasper and whenever Jasper did speak, she was weird about her reponses. 

Work was atypical. While they generally spent most shifts around each other, she now felt like the store needed to be watched at all times, but if he came up, she took that time to go make scans in the Man Cave to be sure they hadn’t missed any calls for help.

In addition to avoiding him big time, she told him that she looked into Amelie pretty deeply and couldn’t find any reason that he couldn’t “get back on track” with her.

“You’d find that reason in the mirror,” Jasper said and she just rolled her eyes and walked away from him. Whenever he told her that things were weird at home and asked if he could crash, she politely asked Henry if it was okay if Jasper crashed at his, instead. Jasper was exasperated, or as Henry said, in an attempt to be funny, exJasperated. Jasper commented that would be the name of his next podcast, and she left them to that conversation to return to the store.

“So… She’s really just moving on like it didn’t happen?” Henry wondered. He’d waited outside for Jasper that night, because he figured that Charlotte would catch herself and kick him to the curb. But, he thought that by now, she would have talked to Jasper about it, fixed their friendship and outlined how it could never happen again.

“No. It’s worst. She’s moving on like it did happen and it was horrifying for her. She refuses to be alone with me and she hardly talks to me, now. I feel like I did something bad to her, but I thought she liked it. I thought she liked me.”

“She liked it and she likes you. You know what this is really about? Self control. She doesn’t trust herself to be alone with you, because she might wind up on your lap, in your arms again and she thinks she shouldn’t be there. You gotta show her that she should be there.”

“How would I do that without being the very creepo that both you and her have told me numerous times to not be?”

“I don’t know. Maybe her family knows something that we don’t? Something that could help us get her for you.”

“Her parents never say much beyond salutations and asking about my day. But… Uncle Rox might help. He loves me and we’re friends on social media. He lived with them for a while. He had to notice something useful.”

Henry nodded, “There you go!”

.

Jasper made an appointment with Uncle Roscoe at his new house, aka his wife’s house, to set some wheels in motion for wooing Charlotte. The man was all too happy to help. “I LOVE love, Lil’ Nephew,” he told Jasper. “My niece sure can use some wooing. Does she still have an attitude about everything?”

“A huge tude… but I still love her. I find it endearing. She’s polite with people she doesn’t care about, so it’s like… a compliment of sorts when you get that sass from her.”

Uncle Roscoe nodded his head as he made some freshly squeezed juice. “Well, I had a secret weapon to soften her up when she was younger and I found out when I lived at their house that it still kinda worked, depending on the material.”

“I must know!” Jasper said, making prayer hands. Roscoe slid a glass across the island to him and he luckily caught it in his palm. Uncle Rox is super kewl. 

“You subscribe to her Spotify?” Roscoe asked.

“No. I don’t believe that we share music tastes.”

“Well, you better get used to it, because that’s gon’ be your bread and butter, Lil’ Nephew. You see, Charlotte has a love for classic R&B, particularly the late 80's/early 90's. She loves all the boy groups that were popular when me and her moms grew up, because that’s the type of stuff that her moms listened to when she was young. Now, most people stop experiencing new music as they get older. They have some nostalgia about their parents’ music, which they pretend like they don’t, like Charlotte be pretending. They have the stuff that was popular when they were growing up, that was their childhood music. And, mostly, by a certain point, they allow very little new music into their worlds. That’s how my sister was. So, a lot of her music was stuff from the 80s and 90s, and Charlotte loves a lot of it, despite her pretenses.”

“You… Think that me listening to 80’s and 90’s R&B boy groups will win over Charlotte?” Jasper asked confused, finally drinking his juice. “This juice is AMAZING!”

“That’s that Roscoe’s Tropical Trash right there. But, no. The listening is just the first step. You gotta know that music, Boi. You gotta learn it. You gotta know what to play and when. You can control Charlotte’s little ass with the right song selection.”

“That has to be made up,” Jasper said, defeated.

Roscoe told him, “Try it out. If she gets mad, pull up “You Don’t Have to Cry by Rene and Angela,” and see if by the end of that song, she won’t be a different woman. Matter of fact, before anything even happens in your day, just put on Rhythm of the Night by DeBarge and see if she don’t have the cheeriest, happiest day.”

Jasper cupped his cup in his fingers and stared at him. “I seriously can’t tell if you’re making up these songs and artists.”

“Boi, here…” He opened his phone and said, “I’m gonna send you a link to Charlotte’s Spotify. Check out them lists. She’s got some of the music by the year and some by the decade, but it’s all kinda R&B on it. She does like a few older than that, but her most frequent ones, I assure you are those 80s-90s ones, with the groups like Troop, New Edition, Boys II Men…”

“I know them!” Jasper cheered.

“Just… The songs I told you about. Use them, then get back to me when you ready to learn musical conditioning for Charlotte.”

Uncle Roscoe used to be a vocal coach for a production studio that went ass end up in the 90s. He was also a musician, DJ, and club promoter. He was a bouncer at a jazz club, at a strip club, and at a popular night club. He still tried to make music sometimes. He played many instruments and he loved to sing. None of his efforts ever worked out fully. But, he still loved the music industry and he always had a good time with his  niece, whenever a good song put her in a good mood. He knew what he was talking about, but Jasper might have to see for himself.

.

Charlotte was about to go upstairs when she heard the opening notes of Rhythm of the Night and bounced towards it curiously. Jasper and Henry were sitting around, and Jasper’s device was connected to the computer. “How do you know this song?” She wondered.

“Uncle Rox shared a DOPE playlist with me whenever I went over for juice. I can’t stop listening to it.”

“It’s a good song. A good feel good song!” She cheered, excited. “I never would have thought you’d like this, though.”

“I love a good feel good song,” he said. She just nodded, smiling and chilled for a little longer, singing along with the song and dancing by herself. It was a little weird for Henry and Jasper to see, but Jasper immediately realized that Uncle Roscoe was right! The music made Charlotte different! 

Now, she was heading to the store, but she was pulling up her own playlist, because she felt like dancing around as she cleaned up the store. Henry smiled at her on the camera and said, “This is an adorable version of Char,”

“She’s always adorable,” Jasper said, watching her, enthralled. 

Charlotte was glad for the dance party of one. She had been so stressed about letting Jasper down, trying to be his friend, trying to avoid him, trying to forget his lips and hands - she had forgotten to just enjoy herself. How lucky was it that Uncle Roscoe put Jasper onto such great music? And Jasper LIKED it? That just made him more likeable! Ugh. She was gonna groan about it, but Never Knew Love Like This Before by Stephanie Mills came on and she was right back in the feel good zone.

.

Charlotte had taken to starting her days with some feel good music, because everyday around Jasper was a struggle. She found that even when he said something frustratingly stupid, she still thought he was cute. Somehow, his ignorance was tolerable to her and even somewhat charming? She looked at him do something ridiculous and think - look at this cinnamon roll. Ugh! She hoped that whatever was going on was reversible. Until then, music therapy should do the daily trick. Today, she began her day with Square Biz by Teena Marie, which brought her mother in to jam with her for a little while and volunteer to do her hair while they hung out, singing and stuff. They didn’t often, so that was a super plus of the day. She came out of the house in the highest spirits that she had been in, in weeks.

She had two braids with puffs at the end, with some charms braided in. She had worn some makeup. Her outfit was clutch. Honestly, she was slaying, and she felt amazing heading to the bakery. The guy at the bakery saw her and almost burned himself on the oven. She pretended not to see as she fought a smile. He quickly caught himself and got her order prepared. She said, “I’m in a really good mood, so I’ll also take an assorted box of kolaches and donuts for my work. Surprise me with the flavors…” 

They were both distracted by this music outside. Everybody in the bakery looked to see where it was coming from. “Is that Pretty Brown Eyes by Mint Condition?” Charlotte asked herself out loud, right before the doors opened and Jasper came in, singing the song. 

“Pretty brown eyes, You know I see you. It's a disguise the way you treat me. You keep holding on to your thoughts of rejection. If you're with me you're secured…”

“What?” She asked herself, frozen in place at… whatever…  this was. She loved that song. There was a whole ass band outside. “Uncle Roscoe…” She said, when she saw him and his friends playing Jasper’s music. Henry was there, recording with his phone. She smiled at the clerk and pretended that they weren’t there for her. She grabbed her order, forced a smile at her friends and tried to pass by. Henry took her order and Jasper continued to sing to her. 

“You keep telling me that your time is always taken, But I keep seeing you out alone. Listen to love; Your heart is pounding with desire waiting to be unleashed…”

As he did, she tried not to blush and laugh. She walked out, and it was louder out there, with the band playing music, but Jasper’s determined self was following her and singing, much like some kind of 90’s music video. She couldn’t help but be impressed and he was a pretty good singer too.

They’d really missed out, not letting him finish his songs during the musical curse. He danced around her, singing the lyrics and she couldn’t help but bop to the music. 

“Quit breakin' my heart 

Breakin' my heart, yeah (pretty brown eyes, Uncle Roscoe was singing backup and playing his instrument)

Breakin' my heart, yeah

Breakin' my heart, sugar, yeah, yeah”

She LOVED this song! Whenever Jasper neared the end of his song, she was pretty much weak and he was so fine, and this took so much work and wasn’t she WORTH this kind of trouble? Jasper sure thought so. Maybe he was worth a little trouble too. Maybe he was worth the risks she worried about. That high pitched, “Quit breaking my heart!” Was her sign. She grabbed him, pulled him to her and started kissing him. Henry cheered him on, and Uncle Roscoe returned a favor of calling out, “Get it, Lil’ Nephew!”

Henry sniffled, “I’m so proud, right now.”

Charlotte pulled back, laughed, shook her head and told Jasper, “You’re crazy. Remember, when it sucks, you insisted on this. Now… You’ve got me.”

He looked towards the band and yelled, “We did it, Uncle Rox! She’s mine!” 

She rolled her eyes, grabbed his hand and pulled him down the street. Henry stopped recording and looked at the band, “Ummm… Well… You gentlemen, and ladies have a good day.” He caught up with his friends, holding the breakfast while they held hands and smiled at each other the whole time. “Feeling left out,” Henry said.

“You’ll pull through,” Charlotte told him. 

Jasper just laughed and gave her a kiss on the temple. “You are so pretty,” he told her. Then, with a big smile, “I can’t believe that I’m this lucky!” 

Veronica Mars Rewatch Season 1 Part 3

“Ruskie Business”

- Always happy to see Alona Tal, though I like her better as Jo Harvelle in Supernatural than as Meg Manning in Veronica Mars. (See my Alternative Ending/Cross Over Fanfiction post for details.)

- Alona Tal may be cool, but she’s not “kewl.”

- How the hell does Veronica know Meg’s flowers are native to Australia? (Unless that info was on the tag.)

- Zachery Ty Bryan is playing the same dude he played in Home Improvement.

- “You can B your own FF. I’m retired.”

- I love V and Logan as an undercover couple.

- To be fair to Manny (of flower hut fame), Duncan IS kind of bland and forgettable-looking.

- “Don’t forget you’re a high school girl. Do some high school girl things.” Helping Meg track down her secret admirer is very much a high school girl thing, Veronica’s just better at it than the average high school girl.

- Leo can’t look up phone records without a warrant.

- “The game is afoot.” I love when Veronica makes Sherlock Holmes references.

- “I don’t want to ruin your sweater.” “No, it’s not mine. It’s Caz’s. Go crazy.” I’ve been a fan of this show for five years and to this day I think Meg should have dated Martin.

- Cue classic Duncan Sucks moment. Why doesn’t HE know why his best friend’s been camped out in a hotel lobby all day? Why wasn’t he bringing Logan a pizza and camping out WITH him?

- “Granted I would look good on Caz’s arm, but do you have anything in Sensitive or Sweet?” Yeah, like Martin. (Also the “I would look good on Caz’s arm” comment makes me really not like her.)

- Trina sucks.

- Ooh, I forgot about Logan’s breakdown in the hotel lobby. Veronica looks like she doesn’t know what to do.

- Man, the Russian mob thing freaks me out. V and Keith need to start doing background checks on their clients.

- Also, why wouldn’t the feds be the ones to arrest the Sukarenkos?

- How dare Meg dress her friend that way? (Seriously, that outfit doesn’t even look very 80s.)

- I actually helped organize an 80s dance at summer camp one year, which was an idea the four girls in our cabin had and we actually got the counselors to take us up on the idea. I dressed as an 80s nerd with pigtails, giant glasses and a denim jacket around my waist. (It actually may have been a little more early 90s.)

- Ew, what is Leo doing at a high school dance? 

- (If he and V sleep together in the new show, I will riot.)

- Logan’s such a tension-cutter. Also, where the fuck are the teachers?

- “There’s no point in you going in there, Trina, Entertainment Tonight is not covering it.”

- Wasn’t crimped hair an early 2000s thing? (I wanted crimped hair in the 5th grade, but my hair was too thick.)

- I wonder if V’s mom is going to be in the new show.

ok panic concert highlights

(plus some personal adventures)

this was the portland show on the 12th k

so it was a fuckin hour and a half drive bc where i fuckin live now is far away from everything i hate it anyway that sucked & i ran my phone down to 80 percent during said drive which proved problematic

we get there (me & my lil sis) & our dad drops us off & we run up & im bitching about how weird the fucking venue is (it’s normal, it’s just not what i’m used to - in vegas the venues were typically in the casino/resorts so you lined up inside the halls & sat against the walls & tourist-watched, in this venue u stood outside in a line???? ughhh)

so we approach the line & something happens, i’m gonna make a separate post about it because holy shit

befriended two excitable gay kids, maybe 8th or 9th grade?? & i was like woah i was u once. now im old & jaded. eugh. then they bailed on me so.

we got into the arena & were on the wrong fucking side so we had to JOG all the way AROUND THE WHOLE FUCKINGN PLACE UGH

THEN WE GOT IN & SAT IN THE WRONG SEATS so the guy next to me (dad w a thick accent, maybe ukranian?? it wasn’t russian but it was close) politely informed me & i was like fuck well until they get here we’ll stay, but i had anxiety so during an arizona song i pretended to go to the bathroom & came back to look for our actual seat, someone took it so i pussied out & went back, had hella anxiety about it, then before hayley the ppl showed up so we had to move & i had to kick some preps out of their seat & they called my lil sister a bitch ;-;

OK SO ONTO THE PERFORMERS

arizona was cute, gotta check them out... singer kept getting emotional & wiping his eyes, it was sweet, and he was hella feeling himself dancing & stuff lmaoo. idk em but im proud of them.

HAYLEYYYYYYYYYYY her dancing & drumming & outfit??? also all the lesbians/wlw getting crunk in the crowd was so damn good haha

ALSO shout out to hayley’s band, they were so cute??? the guitarist & her kept having moments & he seemed like a cool dude, & the girl on synths was so pretty omg??? & smiley i loved her. & the drummer, they were goin so hard i couldnt get a good look, but they had kewl hair

“if you don’t know anything about me, there’s one thing you should know: I LOVE GIRLS” there was so much gay energy at that show i was teary the whole damn time

k confession, i love everything about hayley but i find her voice a little grating on the ears, something about it, but it was super angelic live & didn’t bug me once, & wanna be missed fucked me up cuz it’s my fucking f a v

SHE DID THE DRUMMY IT WAS HOT 

her oufit was so damn iconic rlly tho, the pants & shoes totes fit her but wouldn't look good on anyone else, but that shirt, the hot dad look w the open v & all the jewelry, holy fuck that’s how im tryna be

during girls like girls, everyone had their lights out & there was a bunch of pride flags out, and i got this gorgeous shot of a gay pride flag illuminated by lights (i posted it)

most of the songs they played between the breaks were gay themed too which was powerful dude i was so damn emotional

then during the countdown to panic, they played the next episode by dre (the “smoke weed every day” song) & then africa by toto jsfndjfndjskfnjdk

THEN PANIC CAME OUT 

WHOLE ASS STRING & BRASS SECTION BDEN RLLY WENT THERE WOAH

KENNY & NICOLE WERE SO CUTE THE WHOLE TIME THEY KEPT GOOFING AROUND ESPECIALLY KENNY IT WAS ADORABLE

THEN BREB POPPED OUT THE DAMN FLOOR

ok several things about breb

one, i never was heavy into panic, but considering how obsessive i was into bandom a few years back, i still know a lot about early panic, livejournal shit, ryden bullshit, etc, so it was really weird being there with normies who were just like “he’s hot & sings good” when i was like “yall lucky fucks never heard of myrtle beach ” dsjfnjsdnfds

two, four years into panic & i never was attracted to brendon, but dude, EVERYONE fell in love with him at this show, myself included, & i was starin at this bitch ass motherfucker in a trance before i was like “wait ur a bastard STOP U ENDEARING DICKWAD” he was so fucking endearing it was ANNOYING cuz i’ve seen some of the shit he’s pulled damnit. srsly tho, so absolutely charming, wow.

three, and what stuck with me most; brendon loves what he does. a little bit of exhibitionism, i think; he likes ppl looking at & admiring him, he’s that type of person, a showman, but also, i think he just loves making music, people singing along to the music, etc. ive been to eight concerts now, and i don’t think i’ve seen someone who clearly loved being on stage so much. a lot of ppl act like it’s a chore to tour, but brendon clearly loves it, and it made me happy, especially as an aspiring musician. 

four, the straighties drooling over him and the gays drooling over him was truly straight/gay solidarity

ok what else happened... brendon would throw in random ass high notes towards the ends of songs... my sister looked at me super alarmed when he first did it during dtmwagt lmfao... ppl would cheer & it was impressive, but kinda piercing & i was like “show off” lol

HE DID THE ‘I MAKE THESE HIGH HEELS WORK’ thing, i thought he retired tht?? so i was pleased lmfao

i dont rmr anything that stands out about ready to go or la devotee but the lights & backgrounds during them were very pretty & i got some good pics of brebbois face (i finally got semi decent quality pics im rlly happy abt tht, concerts r so hard to photograph)

hallelujah was cool cuz there were, like, those catholic(?) church windows projected on the top part of the stage, it was pretty af, they rlly outdid themselves with the visuals

and mona lisa had like pipes & industrial stuff?? idk it looked dope, and it contrasted rlly cool it was super pretty

nine in the afternoon,,,, the only pretty odd song... i dont even like pretty odd but it was like,,, damn. & he had the piano, total live in denver vibes ;-; but he wasnt dripping sweat this time lmao

golden days, brebweenie knows hes hot, kept winking & doing mic flips & shit & i was like u fucken weenie ive seen that pic of u w a bowl cut in a bra, die

k he’s a fuckin bastard but hhe’s pretty & talented fuckin big ego bitch ... can yall tell i hav a lovehate relationship w him bc i do

I GOT THIS ONE PART ON VIDEO DURING GOLDEN DAYS WHERE KENNY & NICOLE R FUCKING AROUND & MAKING FACES & GOOFING IT’S SO CUTE

during casual affair in the chorus, the mic would echo each word (just lay (lay) in the atmosphere (sphere) & the ‘lay’ was rlly good on my ears idk sometimes certain vocal notes sound GOOD & that was one i keep replaying it

SO VEGAS LIGHTS as yall kno i was born & raised in vegas & a vegasfucker69 it’s my fucking home i moved last november (not my choice) & miss it violently & i was CRYING during vegas lights hard & it was so beautiful im gonna watch the video i got over & over & over that song means so much to me IM SO FUCKING HOMESICK

speaking of which, im pretty bitter i didnt see panic in vegas, this was my first panic show & that kinda bothers me, like i should’ve seen them in vegas a few yrs ago but it never worked out.... still, im grateful i saw them at all & im glad i saw the song live. i had my fob snapback on too, it says ‘las vegas’ on it cuz i got it there haha, wore that on purpose

he did the fucking running man thing towards the end & everyone cheered & i was like dONT ENABLE HIM

sat down during dancing’s not a crime cuz im a bitch who doesn’t like half the new record & also my knees hurt cuz im old apparently, anyway this chick glared at me then sang every word wat a fuckin prep lmao

o yah i forgot, in golden days he got in the crowd & let a girl sing the last chorus it was amazing i bet that made her life

AND DURING DOAB HE WALKED THRU THE CROWD that was SO FUCKING ENDEARING i was like “wow what a guy” then i was like “HE’S A BITCH U KNOW HIM” & i was like “hmm??? what a guy” but omg he made so many people happy it was really beautiful & sweet & i was like... half in love & then i came to my senses jksjfhjsdhfkjsdn

RLLY THO HE WALKED THRU THE CROWD & HIGH FIVED PPL & SHIT & GAVE HUGS & TOOK ART/LETTERS IT WAS SO DAMN GOOD HE WAS SO SWEET & LEGIT EVERYONE WAS FALLING FOR HIM & I WAS LIKE SUFFERING

legit guys, like it’s weird i used to watch his parascopes in 2015 or w/e & he’d say some Bad shit on there sometimes, like ik he does some messy shit BUT HE ACTED SO FUCKING LOVELY BLEH

also he’s very short, like he’s 2 inches taller than me but he looked so little in the crowd i was like... aw

the piano thing ;-; it was rlly pretty but my paranoia & anxiety was off the charts i was like that things gonna fucking fall & crush the crowd it’s gonna fucking fALL but it didnt ofc but i was stressed bleghh

but ok on a positive note, that was soo fucken lovely, bden stopped to try to make eye contact with as many ppl in as many places of possible, like he made the effort to get to everyone & make them have a special moment & it was ... magical ok thts fucken cliche as shit but it rlly was

ok i did smth lowkey embarrassing, i doubt he saw, but when he faced towards us i was just overwhelmed w like.. gratitude?? ive had a bad 2 years in every way, so being somewhere filled with love & fun & kindness & joy & all around good vibes, i was so grateful? i just wanted to thank him for creating that kinda atmosphere. so i like,,, blew kisses but not in a weird way, like later i was like oh that was kinda weird whyd i do that, but at that moment i didnt use my head & it was jus my instinctual way of saying thank u idk it’s lame but it happened so there ya go idfk

fun fact, my vid of it is out of focus cuz i was so enamored watching him & watching the crowd react it was pretty fucking magical it rlly was

once he got down from that piano he went “wow i feel so fucking inspired now” & i was like “bitch me too tf” 

legit it was absolutely indescribable, even watching my vid now.... wow. and u can hear me lightly crying in the back of my video too lmao, and i was shaking p hard, it was so fucking magical. like im getting emotional rn cuz it was exactly what i needed to remind myself that there is good stuff in the world thats worth staying for. 

i never was super big on panic or breb like i said but if i ever meet him im gonna thank him bc that. wow. transformative.

also that transition from the piano cover he did to dying in la was smooth af. it was all around gorgeous.

OK GIRLS GIRLS BOYS, I WAS SO CONCERNED W FILMING I COULDNT PUT MY LIGHT ON (i had a red heart) BUT OMG

he got a bi flag first, then a rainbow one, then another rainbow one... one was those hayley ones lol, and one ended up on the stage out of his eyesight & he never saw it & i felt so bad fjdnfds

G-D ALL THE GAYS SINGING WAS SO EMOTIONAL & THE RAINBOW BEHIND THEM ON STAGE (AND PAN FLAG COLORS AT TIMES?!??!?!)) IT WAS FUCKING MAGICAL & BRENDON LET A FLAG DRIFT IN THE WIND FOR A SEC BEFORE HE PUT IT ON IT WAS GORGEOUS

AND ALL THE RAINBOW LIGHTS IN THE CROWD FUCK DUDE

breb might be a turd but he’s the only one of these emo dudes who parades around draped in flags & so aggressively empowers gay fans through it, and for that, i respect him. ik the song has more perverse origins but now it’s a bi anthem that rlly connects w lgbt fans & it’s rlly beautiful, AND i got another gorgeous shot of a pride flag surrounded by lights & im just. wow.

after, breb said “that is gorgeous btw” about the rainbow lights, and “thank u for participating in love” & giggled, i got this shot of the lights in the dark lookin incredible ;-;

also said “this a record number of flags tonight, very cool” so portland is rlly gay apparently, kewl

nicole doin the nicotine bass line slayed me dead wowie u can hear me go “WOO” on the vid lmfao (im a bassist so i lov her double)

ive seen miss jackson live twice now cuz at my monumentour show, new politics brought lolo out to cover it so that’s dope lmfao

anyway bden did the fuckin valley girl voice for “the scenery is so loud” which was delightful

he had us do the ‘ayyyy’ bit woo

NICOLES BASS,,, SPARKLY

drum thingy ;-; speaking of monumentour, andy & patrick famously did a drum off & i MISSED IT cuz the stage at my venue wasnt large enough to fit both sets ;-; so they didnt do it ;-; but bden doin his own drum solo kinda made up for it a little bit

fuckin show off tho he played like 3 instruments & i was like u bitch stop

there was some kinda audio sample that went “i got a fever & the only prescription is more caffeine(?)” & bden mouthed the words along, and some girl behind me went “SAME” 

UPDATE: googled it, i knew i recognized chris walken’s voice, he says cowbell not caffeine & it’s a skit from snl that i’ve SEEN im a disgrace anyway that was fun also woo cowbell

the big screen kept cutting from bden drumming to a shot of the crowd & someone holding a pride flag & i was like yah drumming is gay now

lmao i only filmed like a minute of a song unless i rlly liked it so i could spend the rest of the song gettin funky right?? & i like king of the clouds but not a ton, but i filmed the whole thing cuz the visuals were so pretty lmfaooo i jus was staring at them like wowwww prettyyyyy

during the ‘i dont feel anything at all’ he looked rlly sad & i couldnt tell if it was genuine or if he was goin for like a pouty look djfdsjfndjks then right after he winked so ig pouty thx breb

at some point he introduced nicole&kenny plus the strings & brass ppl as “his friends” it was sweet & he was like “these lovely ladies” about the strings & “these handsome men” about the brass & i was like WOO GAY RIGHTS

FIRE DURIN CRAZY EQUALS GENIUS. BOZ FLASHBACKS. FIRE ON MY FACE HUNDREDS OF FEET AWAY. FEAR. DONT LIKE FIRE. SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTION. KENNY WAS TOO CLOSE. FEAR.

a whole arena singing bohemian rhapsody 25+ years after freddie mercury’s death was Incredible, i dont believe in afterlives but if there is one i hope he was watching & enjoying & knowing his legacy was staying alive bc wow that was powerful

THE END WAS CRUNK AF HOLY SHIT BDEN GOT DOWN

i cant believe i remember the day emperors came out like,,,, jeez. so lit live tho

I HAVENT MENTIONED HIS SPARKLY SUIT YET. KING OF SPARKLY SUITS

BRENDON DOIN HIS HIGH NOTE BIT & THE STAGE LIGHTING UP FULLY ON FIRE FUCK DUDE

bitchden took his shirt off when he came out for the encore..... bitch

SINS,,, FUCK DUDE,,,, MY CHILDHOOD WAS CRYING HHYSTERICALLYYY, 

in the background of my vid u can hear me do the ‘ily’ ‘ily’ from the mv emo ass

my lil sis got fucken turnt to sins lmfaooo??? danced her ass off???

us: W H O R E bden: ily

VIOLINISTS GETTIN WILD TOO

they played footage of the music vid & breb & his fuckin iconic outfit & i was a lil emo kid again omg i cant believe i saw it live

he did funny voice durin calls for a toast nerd ... least he’s not entirely bitter abt songs ryan wrote anymore tho lmao... or maybe he is considering theres only two on the 30 song setlist ;-;

i gotta listen to afycso again damn it’s so iconic

oh yah at some bit he said “ive been doing this for 14 years, im 31 now” & it reminded me like.. most of these emo bands, they started so young. & got successful at such a young age. it’s so crazy. idk. wow. 

he got growly during the chorus, that’s pstump’s thing beeb dont steal it lmao

CONFETTI fitting ending, & i got him walking off which is cool, other bands it goes dark & they just kinda disappear & it’s unsatisfying ;-;

so yah i finally saw breadman live, i got 400 pics and 30 videos so that all got spam posted over the last few days lmao

It’s an open air amphitheater sort of thing. It was really a good performance. Different to be backed up by a symphony. Different to here him harmonized by music instead of back up singers. He admitted that some of his songs are tougher to sing in range and a song was taken down a step to accommodate. Half a step isn’t bad but on other songs he didn’t hit the higher/highest note. He played mr. curiousity on piano by himself and didn’t hit the high notes on the operatic part but instead remixed it in a way to add a comedic routine and played homage to victor borge as inspiration. The one song that really stood out to me and gave me chills was the remedy slowed down with the symphony backing him up with him just on vocals, no guitar. He told the back story of the song how he was driving down the freeway one day on his way to a gig and saw fireworks in the distance taking place over Disneyland and the song was inspired by a friend battling cancer. It was the juxtaposition of how he was where he was in his life and where his friend was in their life. He said he was reluctant to record the song at first till someone told him to just listen to the words of the song and just sing. It was so hauntingly beautiful. Even though it’s a good song, it was never a go to of mine but that slowed down/raw version with the back story, it definitely gave me a different appreciation for the song.

It was just an amazing performance overall. With my symphonic background it helped me to appreciate it even more. My brother and I were wondering what kind of crowd would attend. I think we were about right. Majority was the middle age/younger crowd but there was still a decent amount of the older population that was there more for the symphony which I thought was kewl. They were exposed to Mraz in a setting and style where they prolly wouldn’t have given him a second glance and I was really happy about that. Makes me wonder how many of those people walked away with the push to check out his music. How could you not, right? I’m pretty sure you would have loved it as much as I did. So inspirational and motivational in wanting to sing even though my voice isn’t the way I like it compared to the way it was but I know I’m still okay/decent. No one at work knows how I like karaoke. I still think about that brief moment when we walked from the place across the street to where we parked. Such a random subtle moment but it def was something to me. Just like when we randomly ran into each other at those parties. I sometimes wonder what I noticed about that moment. If maybe I over romanticize the moment. Was it maybe more simplistic? Did I see things that weren’t really there? Did I see, notice things more so because it was you? I play it back in my mind to see if there are other things I remember. Things I may have forgotten. Maybe we should play it back and see if your memory matches mine. I remember how I was sitting on the bed. Where you were positioned. I remember you weren’t feeling well and me wanting to help you in some/whatever way. I’m not so sure if the interaction between us would have gone down the same way if it was someone else. I prolly would have checked up on them, made sure they were okay, but I definitely wouldn’t have lingered as long as I did with you or tried to make as much small talk as I did with you. I don’t know if I even asked your name or introduced myself. I might have been intimidated by the person I thought you to be in my mind.

Still makes me smile/chuckle in randomness and disbelief how I was in my pajamas and dead set in just calling it a night till you texted your picture being all dressed up for karaoke. I did feel bad how people were dropping out of plans when I knew how much you tried to make the plans happen to begin with but had no idea that it was almost already decided to be canceled while you were doing your best to do what you needed to do in order to get out by a decent time in order to meet with everyone. I was just thinking, “oh gosh…what’s she gonna say. Here she was doing her best to keep people posted in what she was doing and already said she wouldn’t be able to message till she gets out but would catch up with everyone once she’s done. And now it’s cancelled through no fault of her own. Errr…” 🤷‍♂️

clarissa explains it all season 3 finale livewatch

before we watch sherlock’s season finale, let’s dive into clarissa’s! :D

this ep is called ‘blind date’... i hope it’s not with sam! :o

clarissa: “the more they tell you how great something is, the more likely it is you’ll be a total washout!” preach it sister!

clarissa: “like that ride at the carnival you’re finally big enough to ride”

i think younger bigger than that clarissa...

OMG TODDLER CLARISSA!!!! :o

EW FERG you’re not rhett and link!

oh no.... BLIND DATE!!!!!

clarissa: “why would anyone agree to that?” um i hate to break it to you claire...

YAS INTRO!!!! :D

na na na na naaaaaaa :D HEY KEWL!!!

and we start off with a classic sam!

cool outfit sam! :D

clarissa: “same hair, same clothes, same earring..” wait SAM HAD AN EARRING??? :o

sam has a ‘seamonkey incident’...?

sam’s surprised she’s never been on a date? with who, a car?

sam is setting clarissa up with his gf’s cousin and my first thought was ‘issa girl BI CLARISSA!’

sam: “hey i’m going on a blind date! i must be a teenager!” clarissa: “i’m going on a blind date... i must be going out of my mind!!!” lol :D

why is ferg saying ‘hearsay’

oh no what happened to marshall’s best suit?

THE WASHER LOST HIS PINSTRIPES NOOOO :o

ferg: “mom, dad-” *ad plays* thank you! :D

ferg's middle name is ‘w’ oooh....

also why is he a lawyer now

OMG THE NEIGHBOR PUT UP A WALL????

ferg: “i could be a supreme court justice!” clarissa: “you’re already a supreme pain in the butt!” OHHHHH!!!!!!!! :D

marshall: “i told my girlfriend, ‘i thought you were blonde!’ and she said ‘and i thought you were handsome!’ then she slammed the door in my face.” lol poor marshall

NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! :o

ooh no bangs clarissa! :D

yeah i’d be screaming too! :o

also is that SMOKE COMING OUT OF HIS MOUTH???

oh no her date is MILTON!!!!!

sam: “would you go out with a keanu or a river?” ooh keanu reeves? :o

clarissa made a blind date video game how clarissa of her! :D

i love how her graphics look! she truly has a future in vidya games!

clarissa: “no one normal goes on blind dates!” ...you mean ferg? ;)

speaking of ferg HE SPOKE WITH A JUDGE TO SOLVE THE NEIGHBOR THING :o

omg is that the judge :o

simply a mailman... WITH NEWS FROM THE JUDGE!

THE NEIGHBORS ARE SUING HER??? FERG!!!!!!!!

oh no not again!

mailman: “you guys make my job easy!” lol :D

his laugh is so cute :D

marshall is being countersued too!!!!

AND FERG SUED THEM NOOOOOO

OH CRAP HE DED

OMG BI CLARISSA IS THAT YOU????

oh it’s just a deliverer aw man :/

aww milton sent flowers! :)

clarissa: “it’s my blind date from hell!!” cue the title card!

clarissa: *is coming up with excuses not to go* sam- oh hey sam!” perfect timing! :D

sam saw amanda early and she’s a ‘totally happening girl’ ;)

...wait what’s a ‘happening girl’

milton has a ponytail, rides a motorcycle and has a band... my dad in the 70s? :o

sam needs new shoelaces for his high tops...

TRANS JACKET TRANS JACKET!!!!!

also her face tho!

clarissa: “if mom and dad catch you with all those law books, you’re dead!” ferg: “you tell them and i’ll kill you.” clarissa: “try and i’ll sue” OHHHH!!!! :o

FERG WILL SUE IF THE BLIND DATE DOESN’T GO WELL NOOO!!!!! :o

now they’re on blind date court! :o

nice hair court clarissa! :D

WHAT DOES THE ‘W’ IN FERG’S NAME STAND FOR

clarissa: “and those people get to check themselves out on videotape!”

ooh she’s giving it a shot! :D

sam: “it’s the dorkiest shirt i’ve ever worn!” well... that’s the 90s for ya...

oh no sam has doubts!

clarissa: “are you nervous?” sam: “no... yeah... maybe” that went from 0 to 10 to 5 really quick!

AMANDA DOESN’T WANT TO GO EITHER YAS! :D

but what about milton...? ;)

sam: “i can’t believe she blew me off!” and i can’t believe you just had an epic voice crack! :o

clarissa wants them to meet randomly at the roller rink nice! :D

why is ferg saying ‘hear ye’

he wob the case! :D

ferg: “i love the law!” lol :D

FERG HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AND HE’S GROUNDED LOL :D

clarissa: “there is justice in this world!” indeed there is! :D

and it cuts to breakfast! :o

ooh nice beadhead clarissa! :D

marshall has a new suit yay! :D

and the fence is being taken down!!! :D

janet and marshall are quoting a robert frost poem together awww :D

a harbor freight ad just played with epic guitar music i wonder if miltpn made it ;)

clarissa: “when it comes tp blind dates, the jury is still out!” indeed! :D

bye clarissa! :D

this was a great way to end such a great season! while it’s not one of my fave eps of the season, it was certainly entertaining! i can’t wait to see what s4 brings! :D

...but the jury thinks we should wait for a bit. case dismissed! ;)

€37

Welp! Now that we've seen all there is to see in Pisa it's time to go to Florence, and y'all, y'all y'all y'all, I was SOOOOO FECKIN PUMPED for Florence and it did not disappoint. Oh no. It did not. You see folx, in searching the web to find out which churches were used for some scenes in the third season of hit NBC sitcom "Hannibal And His Friends", we stumbled upon the website "fangirlquest" and specifically an article detailing exactly where all of these different scenes in the show take place along with delightful delightful, masterful shots of their excellent screen framing and ah 🙏🏽 My peeps 🙏🏽 This humble website was our guide to Florence 🙏🏽 So we got ready in the morning, had a cheeky breakfast in the hostel cafe again, and went on down to the train station which is just five minutes down the road from it (I'm tellin y'all, I picked a goooooood hostel 👌🏾👌🏾) and we went on over to the platform and in the vending machine on the platform they had a lil snack stick of parmeggiano reggiano??? And you know we already stocked up on snacks yesterday.... But life is for the living and it was €1 so you know I bought it! And they had some salty cheese snack fried pieces of cheese 100% cheese snack too??? So you know I bought it! And for Kate we got a chocolate I think? And dangit that was good as well! Kewl! One of the stops on our list was platform 3 at the stazione di santa maria novella which just so happens to be the main train station in Florence, and we pulled in at platform three, so straight away we went around there and ticked that one off 👌🏾 Now kids, I had once again booked us a sweet pad in Florence: nice looking, friendly air b n b lady, convenient to the city, convenient to public transport. And the friendly air b n b lady had given us helpful instructions for getting to the house via bus. Unfortunately, I knew the bus went from the train station but I could not figure out where at the train station the stop was. So it ended up taking us over two hours to get to the house which was only 25 minutes from the station if you walked because we couldn't figure it out 😜 We were waiting at the wrong stop and we couldn't find the right stop and the ticket machine took my money and gave me no tickets so I had to go to the ticket man and then we finally found and got on the bus and we missed the stop so we had to walk back and it was a whooooole palava but actually it wasn't too bad because Florence is just dang nice and dangit we were at a train station some of our fave television stars have visited and ain't nothin gonna put a damper on that high! 😧 😬🙅🏻😎 Hek! So we fiiiiinally made it in and the lady was like still relatively friendly but like obviously annoyed which in a way I understand because yeah we were much later than we were supposed to arrive and for a silly reason but we had also been communicating with her the whole time so I did feel bad for taking up her afternoon and stuff but I dunno she seemed less annoyed that we had wasted her time or something and more just like annoyed because we were stupid for not figuring out the bus or something, which is not something I would ever judge someone or punish for and not something I expect other people I consider nice to do either. So yeah. It was fine it was just a little awkward 😬 But at any rate, we got in, and we got to work with our map she had given us and our websites and we made plans of when to go see which things. I was thinking there was no way we would be able to fit everything in because there was so much to do and we only had one full day and two half days (-3 hours faffing too by this point), but boy was I wrong! :) We set out from the house walking towards the Ponte Vecchio and the Ponte Santa Trinita and we visited those goddamn bridges and I fecking died because kids, mads mother decking mikkelsen walked all over that bridge and holy shit now we have too 🙏🏽 But we left that zone after not too long because damn if there was gonna be a zone for someone to target for something in Florence it's probs that ol bridge 😬😥 We walked from the Ponte Santa Trinita through a square where a really good string + accordion group was playing outside a church and for some reason a couple in their wedding gad were dancing and a whole crowd of people were either watching them or the band or both?? Weird! But cool! We watched to! Nice! We walked down the street past all these fancy ass shops with terrifying security people in the doorways who didn't move and we thought they were mannequins but they weren't and it was terrifying 👌🏾, until we got to the Piazza della Republica which is sooooooo pretty there's a square and a big gate thingy and the merry go round that Gillian Anderson 🙏🏽 walks past and dang 🙏🏽 so good 🙏🏽 We walked around the corner and there was the Catedrale di santa maria novella that Gillian Anderson 🙏🏽 also walks past 🙏🏽 which is ENORMOUS and amazing because it's green and white and pink and stripey which is just not a colour scheme I would have ever expected for a cathedral?? We tried to go in but it was closed for the day inside so we did not. We walked all around and there were lots of artist people doing art but around the back there was one art boy all by himself with these bright orange and purple colours and he was of course my favourite and I wanted to buy a picture from him but I thought maybe it was silly and Kato knew I just wanted to buy things from him because I felt bad for him all alone there and that was a fairly accurate assessment and so I didn't buy anything and we kept on our way. This had all been incredibly fun and extraordinarily pleasant and chill and that was in no small way due to the fact that Kate was navigating and found a very good seamless job of it and I wasn't worried about or concerned with where we were going in the slightest, which was a nice feeling :) We walked along and ended up where the Palazzo Medici Ricardi should have been and had the exact same problem as the people who wrote the guide to "Hannibal's Florence" in that Google maps took us to the wrong side of it so we wandered up and down the street for some time and even went into some shops seeing if they led into it and couldn't figure it out before we walked around the other side of it and eventually found the entrance :P It was. Amazing. Holy shit. We went in there and just it's places from the show and it's places my boy 🙏🏽🙌🏾 has been and it's just holy shit dog they went there and then we went there too. Holy shit. *dies* Also the building and the gardens were amazing and there was a really cool art instillation in the middle of the courtyard and a cool art exhibition on loan from Hong Kong there and it was awesome in the house because there was just like no one else there??? We just basically walked around and had a chill ass time and no one else got in our way or bothered us?! Sick 👌🏾 We had walked past an Asian fusion restaurant on the way to the palazzo so we walked up the road a bit more and looked at a square that was up there and checked out a few of the Italian food restaurants that were there but none of them were calling out to us and we were feeling p sick of pizza and pasta by that point so we went back to the Asian fusion restaurant and it was INSAAAAANNNEEEE we had 'to stay' bubble tea that was just in mason jars and not sealed on top and we had amaaaazing fried rice and fried cauliflower with egg and dumplings and some other shit I dunno but it was all baller and hell yeah Kate chose so well and and it was excellent 🙏🏽 So we started walking back and we went via the piazza della Republica because we hadn't gone on the merry go round in the day because Kate said it would be prettier at night and I agreed so then I made her go on it with me and in protest she sat on a silly carriage one right on the ground that didn't even move 😛 It was weird though it just sort of started and then stopped and some more people got on but there was no announcement to get off so we just... Stayed on for a second turn!!!! Shhhhhhhhhhhh 😉🙃😘😏 And then it was even weirder because the marriage people from earlier in the square were there by the merry go round posing for more photos with their photographer? Surely those clothes stink by now?! Go back home to rest you busy bees!!!!!!! And we did that and then we kept walking and it was sort of drizzling and starting to rain and Kate started to see these flashes in the distance which she was getting increasingly excited about and I couldn't see them but then I did and then we were walking over the Ponte Vecchio and it was properly raining and we had absolutely no jackets or coats or umbrellas of any kind despite the fact that I had two yellow rain coats and a yellow umbrella in my suitcase at the house and in fact the air b n b lady had told us when we arrived that they were having a drought and hadn't had rain in months, so just overall we were underprepared mentally and physically but it was very cool and it was Italy and Kate loves storms so Kate wanted to go to the Piazalle Michaelangelo which is up the top of a hill in a park and somewhere Jack goes on the show, so we set off in the rain and the Lightning to go there and watch the storm. It was quite a way and it was pouring with rain and we had to go up a hill and then we got to the park and had to go up allllll these stone stairs in the rain and there were like a few people coming down the stairs but hardly any people and then we finally made it to the top and it was incredible. There was no one else there, there were two people left in the cafe and the waiters were bringing the outdoor tables back inside, and the man at the drink cart was still there but there was absolutely no one else in the plaza and you could see the whole city spread out in the rain and it was just the most excellent thing and yeah 🙏🏽 Feck it was glorious 🙏🏽 And it was absolutely freezing so we left pretty promptly and started the long walk back to the house 😱 People kept looking at us from food establishment doorsteps like 'don't you wanna come inside' and we were like nope and a few street-selling-stuff dudes tried to sell us umbrellas but our skin was already soaked through to the skin so we were like nope we're being dramatic and we finally finally made it there and walked up the big steep hill to the house and it was so exhausting that walk back and so so cold but hey neither of us got sick and it was a hella rad and dramatic time and I think it was well worth it and once again Kate's determination to enjoy storms paid off prayhands prayhands 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

A Defence of Spider-Girl

Spider-Girl by Tom Defalco. It irritates me how the people who worship this book just assumed that it was continuously on the brink of cancellation either because people weren't giving it a chance, or the word hadn't gotten out enough, or that Marvel wasn't doing enough to promote it. Actually, I think the sales numbers showed that people were giving it a chance and were dropping it, I don't think there was a problem with people being unaware that the book existed (I knew about it before I even started reading comics), and Marvel gave this book way more second chances than any sensible company would give to such a proven financial failure. For me, the problem is that Tom Defalco has not evolved his writing style since the 1980s. There are plenty of writers from that era, like Peter David, who have managed to keep up with modernizing their voice. When I read X-Factor, the characters act and sound like they could be real people, so I can get attached to them. But when I read something by Defalco, it's all stilted 80s dialogue and tedious captions. It makes me want to claw my eyes out. I don't mind dated styles when they appear in comics that were actually produced back in the day, but a book in the 2000s should seem like a book from the 2000s. 

CrazyChris 

Let’s talk about how imbecilic and ignorant this is shall we?

  The most important thing to bear in mind is the series during it’s early years in the way it was written was NOT utilizing an unevolved writing style.

 The book was created in 1998 and became an ongoing series in 1999.

 People forget this but the decompressed, omniscient narrator-lite, no exposition per issue, written for the trade writing style of superhero comic books was NOT the norm at the turn of the millennium.

 Oh it existed and was used in certain places back then and even long before that point.

 But it was categorically not the standard practice of the day.

 When Bendis’ Ultimate Spider-Man book came out his writing style was actually ABNORMAL to the way most comic books were written. As he and the USM book rose is profile along with other writers who also used similar style (like Morrisson) that eventually BECAME the norm. But it was absolutely not for the first few years of Spider-Girl.

 Furthermore it is NOT the case that ANY given comic book series MUST conform to the writing styles of the day.

 Ultimate Spider-Man itself rejected that notion and did something different that was much more realistic and applied that to the Ultimate Universe at large. It was done because the intention for that alternate universe was for it to be deliberately more realistic, grounded and frankly cynical.

 Spider-Girl as it’s own sandbox alternate universe series was also at liberty to adopt it’s own style and opted to maintain an older and more traditional sensibility  to go along with the MC2 universe’s overall more traditional view of superheroes and superhero storytelling.

 Then you have the fact that the dialogue honestly is only stilted when delivering exposition. Which the comic did because unlike crappy modern 2000s comics the series was actually written with the intention that every comic is someone’s first and as such there was an obligation to fill them in.

 Now sure there are recap pages, but frankly internal story exposition is far more effective as it comes from the characters themselves, creating a better connection between  them and the readers, developing the characters somewhat as you don’t just find out what’s been happening recently but a specific POV of said events and overall making it feel more engaging.

 The omniscient narrator was also something that Spider-Girl eventually dropped altogether only using it like I said during it’s early years when it wasn’t ‘unfashionable’ and then later on sporadically.

 The omniscient narrator isn’t even an inherently bad storytelling tool within comic books. It can allow for quick details to pepper a scene and give backstory which makes it mean more without diverting the entire pacing or flow of the story towards that purpose. Check out these scenes from Amazing Spider-Man #315, Spider-Girl #18 and Amazing Spider-Girl #11.

  See people forget this but ‘modern standards’ do not inherently mean BETTER standards. Back in the 1990s the ‘modern standards’ demanded that this constituted acceptable body proportions.

Or that this was kewl

Or a more recent example, this scene from Invincible Iron Man #9

 And then a letter’s page touching on the page from Invincible Iron Man #10.

 See that?

 That is Brian Michael Bendis (the guy who’s 100% the most responsible for influencing the modern style of comic book storytelling) and the people editing him saying deciding that because of ‘modern standards’ it’s better that Spider-Man swing around Tokyo and drop clunky expositional dialogue to himself whilst speaking out loud rather than just have the more organic internal.

 Think about that.

 Modern standards demand that this modern comic book be written in this scene in a clunkier way, that is less engaging between readers and the character and rejects the use of one of the advantages comic books have over other mediums.

 If that’s what ‘modern standards’ dictate then ‘modern standards’ suck shit and should be ignored.

 Moving on Spider-Gilr’s style was written and aimed at young readers on the mass market much like traditional Archie comic books whch thereby invited that style.

 Spider-Girl did incredibly well as digests sold to that audience on that market as opposed to the insular direct market which demanded it adopt crappy written for older audiences used to buying comics written for the trade.

 Basically it was more or less a 1960s-80s (eh, maybe 90s) comic book published in a market which moved on and hadn’t existed in a long time; and it knew that. It was a complete niche and could’ve potentially updated it’s writing style but that was not really the point of it; to do that would kind of take away from it’s identity. Heck it was one of the relatively few Marvel comics in the mid 2000s which made a point to NOT be decompressed and WAS aimed at the younger audcience Marvel claimed they wanted but never tried legitimately reaching out to.

Now look I personally prefer a writing style that is a BIT more up to date than DeFalco’s Style on Spider-Girl, but the modern style we have now is utterly weaker than the styles of yesteryear. Like I said when your standards are saying it’s bad to go inside a character’s head you’ve spiralled into madness.

 Then you have the bullshit about ‘Marvel gave it plenty of second chances and it was afinancial FAILURE!’

 1)      Marvel are jackasses who place a book’s success entirely upon single issue sales and never count trade or digital sales (and Spider-Girl was one of the earliest digital comics ever)

2)      Marvel are jackasses who are shitty at promotion and did not give Mayday half the promotion she deserved. Spider-Gwen and Silk got more promotion despite one being a near universally panned character at the time of her creation and both being far weaker characters and series than Spider-Girl creatively speaking

3)      Like I said it was a solid seller in digest format

4)      It wasn’t given second chances out of charity it was given second chances because it kept DEFYING sales expectations! Idiotic marketing people within Marvel kept saying it should be cancelled at X point or Y point because it’s ‘expected’ it’s sales would dive below a certain threshold and it didn’t

5)      Marvel’s criteria for financial success is idiotic and unreflective of the modern market place. Their cancellation threshold is way too high and not adjusted on the curve of series like Spider-Girl. Alternate universe, all ages comics with female leads (in the 2000s, which is NOT like being a female lead TODAY)

 Finally...I’m sorry...the omniscient narrator and stilted dialogue = this comic is shitty?

 Yeah because...a comic book should solely be judged on that I guess.

 The lead character’s personality and character development, the relationships between the supporting cast, the battles with the villains, the general substance of the stories?

 Fuck that I guess. All that matters is HOW they express the sentiments they are feelings.

 This was an incredibly shallow assessment of the series.

But it’s not really surprising coming from a guy who in other comments said 

The Lee/Ditko run holds up but Gerry Conway’s ASM run sucks because the presence of the Kangaroo inherently negates any meaningful emotional character drama I guess.

Carnage is better than Venom because he has no motivations therefore the motivations cannot be stupid

Dan Slott might be the best Doctor Octopus writer ever

LMWTV4U: GOT S7E5

Welcome back! In case you’re new, this is “Let me watch TV 4 U,” the blog where I watch TV so you don’t have to. I’ll be recapping Game of Thrones, Season 7 Episode 5 and SPOILERS ABOUND SO PROCEED WITH CAUTION.

Tonight’s episode was titled “Eastwatch” but a more fitting title would have been “Don’t I know you from a few seasons ago?” If you’ve been following GoT for awhile, you might know that “unlikely alliances” is one of George R.R.R.R.R. Martin’s go-to-setups. He really gets off on taking 2 characters who are TOTAL OPPOSITES on paper and watching them learn to get along, just like the premise of all sitcoms. Well all of these unlikely pairs have been meeting, forming bonds, and saying goodbye for the past 7 seasons and NOW we’re apparently at the part where we have to watch them meet back up again. It kind of sounds like a kewl idea but idk about you, it just turns into a mess as a viewer because you have to remember how/when/where everyone met before. It’s like watching a livestream of a very tense high school reunion.

All that being said, some shit went DOWN tonight, so let’s go!

First of all, we get a new location on the map in the beginning, Eastwatch! If you’ll recall this is the place where Gingerbae (my fave wildling and #2 crush after Bae- Jon Snow) went to guard the wall at the behest of Bae a few eps ago.

Our first scene takes place right after last week’s epic dragon battle...

We learn that Jaime and Bronn are both still alive and we have to watch Jaime spit up seawater and I’m like who do you think you are, Euron Greyjoy?!? (lol that joke only works if you watched last season, sorry). Bronn is like dude, do you have a death wish? And Jaime is like kind of… cuz my sis Queen Pixie Cut (QPC) is a “shoot the messenger” type and now I have to tell her about all this dragon business.

Speaking of, we get some more hot-dragon-action (and I meant hot as in temp-wise, not sexual...yet...wait til Bae gets his fingers on a dragon). Tyrion is looking around at all the hell Khaleesi hath wrought and seems pretty sad about it. Remember he is a Lannister, so a lot of people who got burnt up were his home-bois.

He walks over to Khaleesi who has rounded up the surviving Lannisters and is looking FLY  AS HELL post-battle scene. Seriously, who does her hair? Probs a Dothraki cuz #goodatbraids. Khaleesi tells all the captured soldiers to kneel before her and declare loyalty to her or get killed. Sams mean dad (SMD) and Sam’s Bro Dickon (SBD) refuse to kneel because they’re #tooproudtobeg and Khaleesi is like, srsly guys? But they are truly #tooproud, so they both get burned up by the dragon, per Khaleesi’s orders. All of this is very not cool with Tyrion and he makes that pretty clear.

Next, we pop over to King’s Landing where Jaime is about to drop some #truth on QPC…

He tells her things are not looking so hot (or are they looking VERY HOT? Get it? Cuz dragons...sorry I’ll stop now) and that the Dothrakis (Khaleesi’s horse people) and dragons will kill them all. QPC suggests they hire mercenaries but Jaime is not feeling it. Then Jaime drops truth bomb #2 and tells QPC that he recently got the scoop that Grandma Tyrell admitted to killing their son Joffrey. See QPC was CONVINCED that Tyrion killed Joffrey which is what eventually led T to flock to #teamkhaleesi. Jaime is maybe able to convince her of this fact and that they might have to surrender to Khaleesi. She’s basically like well, damned if you do, damned if you don’t, ya know? The theme of this scene is TROUBLE IN PARADISE.

Now to the Bae-on-dragon action I promised…

Bae is waiting at the arrivals gate for Khaleesi and #1 dragon like a sad little chauffeur when Mr. Dragon lands right on his toes. Rather than giving Mr. Dragon a wide berth, he walks right up to him and TOUCHES HIS NOSE like he’s friggin’ Moana (Moana fans where you at?) Mr. D is like about to bite at first but then he’s like, naw, you’re cool. Probably because Bae is secretly a Targaryen and they’re all about dragons. Bae asks Khaleesi about her business trip and she’s like I TCOB’ed if that’s what you mean and says “sometimes strength is terrible” but that as leaders, they have to be strong.

Khaleesi then starts to ask Bae about the knife-in-the-heart comment that No-Knuckles (NK) made a few weeks ago and before Bae has to uncomfortably describe his weird Lazarus-situation to her, Stoney shows up, fresh off being cured of his stone disease by none other than Bae’s bestie Sam. The artist formerly known as Stoney (but let’s just keep calling him Stoney for now) is like will you still have me, Khaleesi? And she’s like DOI, OF COORS. And Bae is like oh I knew your dad he was a kewl dude he gave me this sword.

We get a brief interlude with everyone’s fave sooth-sayer, Brandon Stark! He hops into the eyeballs of some birds who fly North to get an update on the ice-zombie-army. As we all suspected, the ice zombies are CLOSER THAN EVER and headed to Eastwatch. This should not be a surprise because every time we check on them they’re just walking further South and unlike humans do not need to stop to eat or pee or get their hair intricately braided.

We pop into Oldtown, where Sam hears about Bran’s report. He tells all the other Maesters that they should listen to him but they, as always, are like naw this shit can’t be real. Also Maester-Jim-Broadbent is like BTW, Sam’s dad and bro just got burnt up but don’t say anything to him.

Back to Dragonstone…

Where  Tyrion and sleevey recap sam's dad and bro getting killed and agree that it was not cool, bro. Sleevey helpfully recalls a time when Khaleesi’s dad was always burning people alive. Sleevey reveals that Bae got a letter in the mail and yes, he did read it which is a FEDERAL OFFENSE, SLEEVEY! You can’t afford to go to prison!

Bae gets his hands on the letter from his bro Bran and learns A LOT. A. Bran is alive. B. Arya is alive. And C. The Night-King (leader of the ice zombies) is coming to Eastwatch. Again, this should be a surprise to no one. He talks things through with Khaleesi and co. to devise a plan and everyone has something to contribute, you guys! Here’s the plan

Tyrion will talk to his bro to try to convince him that ice zombies are real, who will then convince QPC.

NK will use his smugglin’ skills to smuggle T into King’s Landing (at this point it should really be Queen’s landing, right?)

Bae will head up north and capture an ice zombie to bring to everyone for proof. Stoney will use his battling skills to help with this.

Khaleesi is not about to let Bae go, though, probs cuz she wants more hot cave-action. But Bae is like sorry G2G!

Back in Winterfell and trouble is afoot!

Sansa is sitting at her in-charge-table and all the “Northern Lords” (although everyone’s fave 11-year-old-kween is nowhere to be seen) are still griping about Bae being down South with Khaleesi. Sansa doesn’t accept their offer to basically put her in charge, but she doesn’t defend Bae too much either. Arya, who was always besties with Bae when they were all kiddos, is not ok with that. She calls her out on it and notices that Sansa is staying in their mom and dad’s old room. She’s like ummm… you always liked nice things. Which is such a classic Winterfell-burn.

They chat and learn that they have very different views on uniting people and consolidating power. Arya is little more murder-y but Sansa is a little more scheme-y. Which better? IDK I haven’t read “The Art of War.” Basically, Arya knows that Sansa is still a bit power-hungry and calls her out on it. But I did read “Lean In” and I’m like, is that so bad?

Later, we pop back into King’s Landing where Arya is tailing Littlefinger cuz #shedontlikethelooksofthisguy, He’s being shady, as always, handing out poision, scheming with the Northern Lords, and then she sees the Maester give LF a piece of paper and she’s like oooohh I gotta get my hands on that. LF hides the paper in his room but, bitch, didn’t you know Arya is a trained assassin from the face-swapping-cult now?

She finds the paper which looks like this letter that Sansa wrote back in Season 1 when she was being forced by QPC. It’s basically her asking #teamStark to swear loyalty to Joffrey, all of which is irrelevant because most of Team Stark, along with Joffrey, is dead. Then we see LF behind the scenes looking all satisfied. Why you may ask? Well it seems like LF is trying to drive a wedge between the sisters by making Arya distrust Sansa even more. IDK I don’t condone violence but I really just want someone to stab LF.

Back to team Khaleesi, Tyrion and NK roll up on Queen’s Landing…

Tyrion reminds us all that the last time he was here, he killed his dad. NK is like well the last time I was here, you killed my son! You’d think there would be some sort of resolution with that but nope, NK was just throwing it out there! Tyrion heads off to see his bro and NK heads off on a secret mission that IS VERY CUTE, just wait and see.

Bronn sets up a meeting between Tyrion and Jaime, who haven’t seen each other since Jaime saved Tyrion from getting killed (per QPC and their dad’s orders). T proceeded to shoot their dad to death on the toilet, so Jaime is understandably a little peeved. Tyrion explains why he came and asks if Jaime could ask QPC if she might possibly be into checking out an ice zombie if they can get one. Jaime is still peeved but considers this helpful offer.

Meanwhile, we get a reunion of 2 of our faves, NK and Gendry!!!! So non-GoT-watchers, Gendry is this dude who is secretly the son of Robert Baratheon, QPC’s ex-hubby and the former king. Only a few ppl knew this, and to protect him from QPC, he got sent North to the wall with Arya. He and Arya developed a cute lil’ friendship and then he met up with some Lord-of-Light (LOL) worshippers, the same ones who the Hound (remember from ep 1 of this season) is now traveling with. Then the red witch lady came and took him to Stannis to have leeches eat his blood but before the red witch could kill him, NK set him free and sent him on a rowboat back to King’s Landing. So here we are…

They reunite and it’s adorbs, since Gendry is like thanks for saving my life, you were right I ended up being safe here. And NK is like oh good, so I have a favor to ask, will you come with us? It’s for- and before he can finish Gendry is like NP my bags are packed let’s go. And NK is like do you want more info...or… and Gendry is like nope this place is the pits, let’s go, lemme get my hammer. And I AM FEELING THIS HAMMER y’all, Gendry is basically Thor of GoT now. And he shall henceforth be known as New-Thor.

NK and New-Thor head to the boat to leave Queen’s Landing and encounter some guards who aren’t gonna let them off that easy. Just when they bribe their way out of there, Tyrion shows up and the guards are like...you look familiar? So New-Thor kindly uses his hammer and demolishes those dudes, leaving T and NK both stunned and impressed.

While we’re still at Queen’s Landing, we see Jaime knocking on QPC’s door, but she’s busy with Maester Qyburn, having some deep discussion. We also learn Qyburn is the hand-of-the-queen (did we know this before? It was news to me). Jaime is like what we’re y’all talking about, and QPC is like I’m sorry, HIPAA, I can’t tell you. Then she tells him that she knows he met with Tyrion and that he should punish Bronn for setting that up. She also hints that she’s willing to do a collab with Khaleesi but then she’s like “we will defeat whatever stands in our way” which doesn’t sound very collab-y to me.

Then, in a major reversal, SHE DROPS A TRUTH BOMB ON HIM and tells him she’s PREGNANT and the baby is HIS. He is shook but also very happy because he loves her a lot. He’s like who you gonna say knocked you up? And she’s like it’s 2017, bitch, I’ll say it was my twin bro cuz #hatersgonnahate. Do we believe she is really preggo? I do not. Classic desperation move when you see your man starting to slip away. But nonetheless he is happy about it so there’s that.

Next, we head back to Dragonstone...

Where Bae meets New-Thor in Bae’s fave place, a cave! They reminisce about how their dads were friends and New-Thor calls out Bae on being a little shorty-pie. We think Bae is gonna be like “ah hell naw” but instead he’s like LOL you’re right bro. New-Thor offers to head North with Bae to kill some ice-zombies with his hammer. NK is a little peeved because he told New-Thor not to tell anyone who his dad was and not to get himself into trouble. NK’s like well don’t mind me, I only lived to be an old man so what do I know about surviving? It’s a very cute scene and it all plays out like a dad playfully chastising his sons for picking a college that’s too far away.

On the shore we get some goodbyes. Tyrion and Khaleesi both say goodbye to Stoney and Khaleesi is especially sappy about it. Then she says goodbye to Bae, who is busy loading up his boats with zombie-killing-rocks from the caves. She’s like, so…I’ll call you next week? And Bae’s like umm….maybe? But you know they’re both fighting the urge to pop into a cave for a quick makeout sesh.

Next, we see Sam and Gilly in Oldtown reading books…

Gilly happens upon the MOST IMPORTANT INFO EVER in a book, which Sam, in a very-un-Sam-like way, completely ignores. It’s infuriating. Basically she finds out that Bae’s real parents, Rhaegar Targaryen (Khaleesi’s bro) and Lyanna Stark (Daddy Stark’s sis) were legit married when she had Bae, which means he is the ONE-TRUE-HEIR to the iron throne or whatevs. Sam, however, is too peeved about the Maesters not listening to him (or Bran for that matter) and gathers up some of the best books in the library (and he is in for the late fee OF A CENTURY cuz you know he won’t return ‘em) and heads out of there.  It’s a frustrating scene. I just..can’t...

Finally, we make it to Eastwatch...

Where we get to check in with Gingerbae my #2 boo. Bae tells him the plan to trap the ice zombie and bring it back as proof and Gingerbae is like you are cuckoo. NK is there to confirm that yes, Bae is cuckoo, and no, he’s not going North with them. But on the docket we do have New-Thor with his hammer and Stoney with his un-stoned-hands and arms to help! Gingerbae is like well I know some other dudes who want to get up there...cut to…

The Hound and his LOL-ers Eyepatch and Gingerbun (am I the only one who finds Gingerbun kind of attractive?) are in Eastwatch-prison, doing a very poor version of Cellblock Tango from Chicago, the musical. This is the scene where the whole-don’t-I-know-you-from-somewhere gets really messy. No need to dive into all of it, the point is, these people have HISTORY with eachother. But Bae reminds them that since they’re all humans and not zombies, they’re on the same side. So they head out into the deep, cold, winter to trap and ice zombie. And we’re left there.

Let’s recap:

Biggest surprise this ep: QPC IS PREGNANT?!?!?!

Biggest letdown: Seriously Sam. You could not listen to the most important news ever because you were distracted?

Important fashion moments: Khaleesi lookin’ so fly fresh out of battle, Sansa is really rocking those fitted armor gowns

Who died this ep? Sam’s Bro Dickon (RIP) and Sam’s Mean Dad 

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