#get your man before someone else does
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the opinion for today is that john’s never really needed to be fixed and pairing him with any character for the sole purpose of “fixing” him belittles both the character and john himself. john does care a lot for people, but a lot of people want to ‘fix’ him in ships when in reality, he does care. he can be a great boyfriend who understands boundaries ( as shown with kit, for example, and dani ), but he does run away when he thinks that significant other might be in danger because of him and he’s aware of that fact ( like with oliver, in the newer constantine: the hellblazer run ).
is he an asshole? absolutely. but does he need to be ‘fixed’? no. he’s fine. he’s a decent guy, who’s willing to do just about anything for his friends and feels immense guilt if anything happens to them. he’s never needed to be a hero. he doesn’t want to be a hero. don’t force his hand into being one in the dc universe. keep him his little chaotic neutral self. has he saved the world? yes, but it’s more of a “well, no one else was going to do it” mentality and at one point, he only saves the world because there’s a lack of cigarettes and the shipments of cigarettes weren’t coming in, but that’s also because of his “well, i keep saving the world, and it keeps ending. there’s no point anymore”. poor guy, honestly.
anyways, in sum, i don’t like the whole “they can fix him” ships with john. i think it’s demeaning. can someone be with john without needing to fix him please. thanks.
#john constantine#ship stuff in general#don't fix him#i like him as a little insane weeping wet rat of a man#though i think mostly i just hate the mischaracterization when they put him with someone and suddenly he's all sunshine and rainbows#then the character acts surprised when he does something extremely risky that puts people at risk#which suggests that they didn't know him before they got into a relationship#which is really strange to me but whatever#JUST. PLEASE LET MY LITTLE WET RAT MAN STAY MY LITTLE WET RAT MAN.#but this is mainly based on some oc i saw on wattpad#i don't mind oc x canon ships!#i just prefer that the canon character isn't entirely mischaracterized for the sake of that ship#or if the oc seems ot have no substance beyond that ship#BUT I LOVE OC X CANON SHIPS#so i hate feeling upset by one#BUT#keep their character please or else i get sad#AND SHOW ME YOUR OC OUTSIDE OF THEIR ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS PLEASE.#anyways random tangent sorry gamers
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"Though I don't know exactly what you are or what you're up to... My bullets will find you — until then, you best find a casket store in Penacony, and ask the owner to reserve a good quality casket for you, imposter!"
Hardly could get more Western film than this
#That one scene in A Fistful of Dollars#The casket maker doesn't appear that way in Yojimbo if I recall#I love those films so much#Boothill has such a... soft youthful voice? I didn't recognise him at first. His voice is beautiful though#I talk too much#Boothill#The way he awkwardly laughs a little and asks almost shy 'Did I make a mistake?' lmao#I was wondering how he got her number and she gave it to him but gave him Black Swan's?#Or was Black Swan talking about Constance when she mentioned that 'she' who gave Boothill her whereabouts? Or someone else altogether?#He was kind of cute with that 'Did I make a mistake?' haha#'get that forehead clean and wait for me' this man is hilarious and has watched far too many movies xD#'are you asking me to write your will? Sure‚ go ahead' omg stop hahahahaha#'Not quite' responds Black Swan. Truly an elegant lady. I would have mocked him to no end#Hilarious too the idea or possibility of her apparently clocking him by the way he talks#'She's clearly not a Pathstrider of The Hunt. But you are‚ aren't you?'#Of course it could be context but it'd be funny if simplistic perhaps to think it's his manner of speaking lol#'go buy a bottle of Asdana's White Oak and warm it up‚ and I'll raise a glass to you' this man is hilarious and would be unbearable irl xD#I love the idea of an Emanator of Nihility existing despite the impossible. It seems very fitting#Also‚ unrelated‚ but I love Aventurine's little whimpers before his 'Didn't think you'd have the nerve to show yourself'#When Ratio claims he 'is the manager of this task' does he mean as undertaker or something real in the mission?#When he says Aventurine won't be seeing the Strategic Investment Department because he's the manager#did Ratio mean he will be the one dealing with the funeral or that there won't be a funeral at all because he's in charge?#I found this confusing
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found out that rascal's owner took him again while i was out, and he's probably not gonna be back since the semester's almost over. i don't even know if his owner's coming back next semester, if i'll ever see him again. if he'll ever see me again. why do they wait until im not around to do this? why do they never let me say goodbye to him?
#i didnt really get to process it bc i found out when i was hanging w a friend but. im processing it now#sigh.. i dont know. i dont know.#at the end of the day he is and has always been someone else's cat. i can't control what she does with him#no matter what i think of it. she can always take him away. but every time it happens im just. im tired yknow?#it's worth it to me to have him around. i love him dearly and i want him to be in a home where he's actually cared for (which i have done my#best to provide) but he's just. not mine. and every time it happens i back up and think man. im such a sucker.#i don't think people manipulate me often. not in an ongoing way i mean. i don't think ppl see me as valuable enough to most of the time.#but damn. she really found my weak spots didn't she. free petcare courtesy of one chump who can't live without animals around. sigh#he deserves stability but he deserves love more. this weird shared custody thing is better for him i think. and frankly i also love him.#im not the priority here but my feelings are like. there. him being taken away without even telling me first hurts. i'd like to be able to#say goodbye to him. im not saying he has to stay or this has to go on but couldn't they just.. consider my feelings a bit more?#just bc you're fine with dropping your cat off somewhere for weeks not knowing when you'll see him again and not visiting doesn't mean i am#and i kind of feel like my roommate is part of this. after all it's not like his owner can just break into our room and take him#and if im always out when they do it there's a chance roomie's just shipping him off whenever she gets sick of him.#she's done it before. even after she agreed so vehemently with me about never wanting him to go back to such treatment and stuff early on.#she's been spraying him for little reason lately too. and i mean i get being a little more cautious with some things bc her neck's broken#but she's really fixated on how much he smells and bites and stuff and talks about how if i wasn't around she'd consider eating him#and then other times she's like that's my pookie. i don't get it. like yeah i tell rascal to fuck off sometimes bc he hurts me but it's not#like a hateful thing. i dont resent him for it i'm just annoyed sometimes bc he's maiming me a little. he's my baby. how could i loathe him?#so it makes me think that roomie might be blaming his transfers on his owner bc she doesn't want me to judge her#and like. this is her room too. it's not her fault she's more bothered by the smell than me. if she doesn't want to be bitten and clawed all#the time i can sympathize. i don't wanna force her to house him. but i wish she'd just be honest with me i guess#like. what if his owner decides to give him away without telling me? i'd take him in in a heartbeat. even though i know it's a bad idea.#but i'm worried he'll fall out of my reach completely. and at the very least I'd like to be able to say goodbye first. that's all.
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#also okay#this coworker i was complaining about earlier#mr women music#so theres this other coworker#who is. a tad odd#mostly in that he uses weird sort of archaic words a lot#but anyway mr women music has this habit of every time this other coworker does something a little weird#as soon as he thinks hes out of hearing hell turn to me or whoevers closest and make Some Comment about how weird he is#which is not very nice okay. but today he was like 'wow i feel like everything he says is sarcastic'#and im like man#it is so easy to tell when this guy is being sarcastic#because literally every time he does it he then proceeds to say 'that wasnt sarcastic AT ALL'#like every time he uses sarcasm he then proceeds to loudly announce that he is being sarcastic#you just think hes being sarcastic because youve never heard someone say 'warms the cockles of my heart' in real life before#and because its so foreign to you your brain refuses to process it as genuine#anyway then someone else came and jumped all over me for assuming he didnt know what 'warms the cockles of my heart' meant#no i think he knows what it means#hes just never heard someone say it out loud before#which is a personal issue that he needs to get over tbh
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everything always peaks me. then im on the other side, see so much hostility, just as bad as what peaked me, and its like nvm. damn. oscillation at its finest.....
#i made a post like this before but i fell into a very bad trap where i just ranted about “both sides” and thats never really helpful#i think there is just a lot of “us VS them” in this world. no one is ever willing to hear others out. they just look at characteristics#of yours and make broad assumptions about you.#i dont know. i feel like everyone in my generation is so willing to jump for your throat these days for different opinions#its their right of course; but i dont know. its like if you have even a slightly different opinion on something; you cant discuss it 2gethe#i want to meet some other fellow normies man; idk#and i say that as someone who isnt really “normal” in most peoples eyes#but i can chill and talk with ppl who have diff opinions from me as long as... they arent super hostile and think in black&white...#mostly feminism and lgbt stuff im talking abt here but yeah. i just want this world to be safe for women & lgbt+ folks yknow#i base a lot of my opinions on that#im trying to just. not care anymore. im just a human at the end of the day and so is everyone else#everything feels so black and white. i just want to belong somewhere. i dont know.#my parts all have different opinions on things so i never have a stable stance on anything#i just try to have compassion and reduce my cognitive dissonance as much as possible#that led me to veganism. lgbt rights. feminism. but even within these groups there is so much hate and fighting#i cant pretend i dont fall into the black and white thinking but i always actively try to challenge it#i tell myself: the world is not out to get you. but why does it feel like it is? clearly everyone else feels like that too
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Soulmate AUs are the number one way to make me insufferable ngl
#people never think about how any type of world where you have a way of knowing exactly who you are meant to be with would change everything#it raises SO many questions and no one ever thinks to answer them! how do we know these are soulmates in the romantic sense? are they truly#always correct? what is the history of soulmates? how does this affect casual relationships? is it considered wrong to date someone who isnt#your soulmate? and for specific aus like maybe you find your soulmate the first time you make skin to skin contact-#this would change so much societally. would people become much more stingy about touching or would people be (by our views) overly familiar#in the attempt to find their soulmate? same deal with the ones where it’s your first words this would result in so many weird and intricate#rituals for meeting new people#and this isn’t even getting into the massive amounts of amatonormativity that come with aus of this type#lots of time when reading them you can tell some of its coming from the author too but man. there’s no way people in these worlds wouldn’t b#eveb more insufferable about love than in the real world#idk i just finished a sm au and it was pretty good but at the end there was a throwaway line like. everybody knew your soulmate came before#everyone else. which made me see red cuz Yeah but also of course you’d have that pov in a world where soulmates are real!
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i understand that if you’re sapphic and also incredibly and unironically into the mcu like i was a few years ago then the hand kiss from love and thunder might seem like a big deal and might make you feel really good but. it’s nothing. it’s literally fucking nothing. it’s a few seconds with an unnamed character and then valkyrie talks about her dead, also unnamed girlfriend for a bit. there are movies and television shows and books and idk podcasts that actually feature sapphic characters and/or relationships. you cannot, should not, and do not have to rely on the fucking marvel cinematic universe for queer representation. and the mcu should not be praised for “steps in the right direction” or whatever when we have actual representation elsewhere, and they are the ones lagging behind.
#yes this is somewhat paraphrasing another post (that i already reblogged) but#idk its just that as someone who used to be an mcu stannie who wanted gay rep from it i understand where the people#who are hyped about love and thunder are coming from but also like. they're really just deluding yourselves.#and if you just love popcorn entertainment so much there's stuff that isnt 'pretentious' bc i know some tumblr folks hate art /hj#like there's but i'm a cheerleader (a cultural reset) more recently there's first kill#i promise you that there is actual tangible sapphic representation that will fit your tastes you do not have to rely on the fucking mcu#for your queer rep#and you also SHOULDNT#anyway this is why i feel a similar way about baymax cartoon trans man like. there's actual trans representation elsewhere#yes there isn't a lot but it exists and its better than this#we don't have to give disney this much credit when they want us dead#people act like this is the first time trans characters/queer characters in general have been done when it isnt#its just the first time DISNEY has done it#disney does not care about us and just wants our money i stg get that in your heads before you freak out over#the next disney's first gay character that comes around#also side note that i already said in the tags of another post but#a character doesn't have to be actively in a queer relationship to be 'good queer representation' but#that doesnt mean that valkyrie is good queer representation#especially compared to everything else that's available#like besties maybe val would be good sapphic rep fifteen years ago??? 🤨#i speak#mcu#mcu critical#thor love and thunder
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Trying to think if there’s anything that could genuinely get Roger upset or angry at any of his boys, and honestly yeah nope there’s there’s really not
#[ ooc ] ✧〖 bid farewell to weaver’s town 〗#[ i have talked ab this SO much but you'll hear it again---- dhjsdjklsd#[ just#[ unconditional love man#[ those are his Boys!#[ even in situations where one of them gets hurt from their own stupidity or something#[ roger's a selfish man he'll take full blame himself#[ he's their captain he's responsible for them whatever negative thing they do is because of him#[ roger will forcefully yoink the blame from their grips and claim it for himself and refuse to budge on it#[ i'd imagine rayleigh or gaban or someone else usually having to take role of actually Teaching the kids lessons because roger just#[ doesnt know how to do that fdjdskl#[ and he recognizes it and he does try and he is thankful that others do what he cant but he Knows he could never blame them for anything#[ sure he'll get playfully all >:ccc!! @ the kids for fun but honestly just in general roger Doesnt get genuinely pissed often#[ nearly never @ crew at least only to those outside who mess with his crew or loved ones#[ love isnt so much as blinding as roger fully seeing and being aware of fucked up stuff but deciding its not as important as his boys#[ not approving but accepting 'i see you i see what you've done and it hurts me so much to see but i see it and i accept it#and i still love you can we go home now? i'll hold your hands and wipe the blood from them with ginger touch'#[ again!! selfish man!!!#[ like even with extreme cases like say one of them somehow ends up killing rayleigh roger's. Utterly inconsolable and heartbroken#[ but he's still just ruffle their head before going to hide in a corner and cry---#[ i am just#[ shakes fist#[ unconditional love </3#[ does apply to most people he loves but its just taken to an extreme with his boys#[ sighs#[ can you tell its half past 4am fdsdskl
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that post I made lamenting about kung pow penising keeps getting notes, and while I do stand by what i said in it, i’m also lowkey hoping it doesn’t blow tf up like that onceler post did and murder my notif page again
#fr though like. it really makes me feel sad that Every Other Social is just so. so. ugh#they’re like. designed in a way that almost ENCLURAGES starting controversy and arguing if that makes sense#because like. on twitter ANY engagement on your tweet boosts it in the algorithm#and i’m assuming insta and tiktok probably have similar things going on#so it makes even calling someone OUT on their shitty take/behavior kind of a double edged sword#because on one hand side you’ll probably ratio them and it’ll be funny#but on the other hand it gives them a spotlight. and then they can USE that spotlight to promote whatever they want#and then because they’re GETTING all this extra attention/people defending them it sort of encourages them to keep being shitty#because they want attention and doing that gets them attention. not GOOD attention but still attention#at the very least with tumblr there isn’t much of an Algorithm™️ to worry about#and most of our users only get content through the other people they follow#and only reblogs are able to actually make posts circulate through that method because a lot of people also private their likes#so because of that on here we’re able to ratio the fuck out of a shitty post but still keep it CONTAINED#and even if it DOES start circulating it’s usually just because everyone’s pointing and laughing#a post having a chain of kungpowpenis added onto it basically like. marks it.#it basically tacks a big glowing ‘‘we all decided this post sucked please disregard it’’ sign onto it#which is like!! so much more visible and effective than a twitter ratio or whatever else!!#and tbh it’s probably stopped a lot of unnecessary drama/arguing on shitty posts before it could start#idk man it just. fuckin sucks that we have such a powerful tool for shutting down dumbass controversies here but it can’t work ANYWHERE else#because everyone sees the kung pow penis and can just go ‘‘lol’’ and keep scrolling#ace screams into the void#lots of tags#vent//
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you see this guy???
this guy is named peter sqloint and he killed god with the help of his magical girl boyfriend and a giant robot with emotional issues.
this mans parents are tailors. this guy became god and used all the power in the world to create an immortal lizard so his robot friend wouldnt get lonely. this guy worked at the rock factory for most of his young adult life (before The Possession). this man mooned someone to win a fight. this man cries a lot. this man threw rocks at god and won. this man got dragged into the woods and fucked. this man instinctively knows when youre looking at him. this man is autistic and has avpd. this guy does not think and he does not ever want to start thinking. this guy painted rocks for a friend that killed him. this man has died before becoming god. this man is the coolest guy ever.
his magical girl boyfriend became his magical girl WIFE btw. and they are in t4t love living in a cottage in the middle of the woods with so many lizards . btw. if you even care
[og post said:]
[controversial opinion but top surgery and other trans healthcare shouldnt be trans exclusive. so what if an autistic woman wants top surgery because boobs are a sensory nightmare?? good on her. she isnt "mutilating" herself any more than anyone else who gets cosmetic surgery for anything. ]
[it doesnt have to be exclusively "trans healthcare." maybe a cis guy just wants boobs or a cis girl wants a dick. who cares. your bodys yours. customize that bitch. the more normalized it is to just do whatever with your body for any reason the easier itll be for the people who need to do it to actually go through with it because they wont be socially pressured as hard or harassed afterwards.]
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satoru wasn't a fan of lingerie, he hated the fabric and hated the fact that he had to be delicate when stripping it off of you. of course, he's all for making love, satoru was the king of making love, but he also likes when you can be comfortable before the both of you start fucking.
the thing that turned satoru on the most and had his dick standing at attention for you was some shorts and a tank. when it looks like you just got out of the shower and settling into bed, that's what got him going.
everyone else can keep the lingerie, the only thing he wanted to see from you was no bra and your shorts riding up on you so that he has an excuse to get them off.
“fuck, you look so good.” whispering in your ear how good you look while his hands jointly slide down into your shorts. there was no need for you to dress up for him, especially when it came to panties and a bra.
natrually he loved how everything fit and looked on you, there was no doubting that, but he didn't want you to get into a frenzy about what new set to get to please him and him only.
“hey… don't even worry about it, just throw those shorts on hm?” and you'll smile at hus reassurance, because he loved the basic shit and there was no need to get riled up over not knowing which color bra to get.
satoru loves to get down and rough with things, it was in his nature too, he just can't help it. the feeling of the thin fabric on your skin got him aroused, it's like your tank top was telling him to rip it out of you and to not hold back.
those tiny shorts that you wore that didn't even go mid-thigh brought out a side of him that by the end of the night he couldn't even recognize. his mouth gets dry at the sight, and his dick gets harder when he sees your nipples poking through the shirt.
“that's something i wouldn't be able to see if you had a bra on.” he joked while rubbing over your inflamed nipple he was playing with as he rubbed over your aching core.
whenever he comes home to you wearing that tank top and shorts combo, he will bend you over and pick you up and put you on the counter and gets to work. that was his favorite thing ever, seeing you in comfort with that pretty face of yours made him cum in 0.5 seconds, there was no denial there.
he wouldn't even bother taking them off, he just slides your shorts to the side and does what he needs to do. satoru knew what he liked and was a man of his word when he says that he needs no impressing from someone as beautiful as you.
#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jujustsu kaisen x reader#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#x reader#gojo satoru#jjk satoru#satoru gojo#jujutsu kaisen satoru#satoru smut#gojou satoru x reader#jjk gojo#gojo x reader#jujutsu gojo#gojo smut#satoru#jujutsu satoru#satorugojo
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Virgin!Reader who is shy and closed off about the idea of their first time. Who is hesitant when first getting with Ghost.
Virgin!Reader who gets in bed with their collosal boyfriend and is immediately a blushing mess when he touches them.
Virgin!Reader who has almost zero stamina and can cum on Ghost's fingers easily as he pumps his thick, calloused fingers deep inside. Purring sweet pet names in their ear and making them feel so good. Whimpering from the sensitivity.
Virgin!Reader who drools over Ghost's cock despite it's large size. Whimpering and asking if it'll hurt and if it'll fit as he lubes his cock.
"Only a little bit sweetheart. It'll feel really good after, I promise." He whispers against your ear, feeling so fucking hard from the idea of corruption you into his sweet little whore.
Virgin!Reader who clenches on Ghost's cock, mewling and letting out the sluttiest, unfiltered noises as Ghost starts to move, loving the feeling of just his cock sliding slowly in and out of you.
Ghost who is slow and gentle with you at first, peppering you in kisses and making you feel loved and adored, but the lewd sounds of your hole absolutely begging for more of him makes him feral.
Getting rough with you, fucking you hard, rubbing and stroking you, making you feel so fucking good. Hand clasped in your hair, calling you his sweet girl/boy. "There it is, fuck, you're so tight around me angel," he will curse, teeth grit against your shoulder or watching your back arch.
Virgin!Reader who absolutely eats it up. Cumming on his cock until their hips jolt and they have salty sweet tears rolling down their cheeks. Puffy lips and sore vocal chords from everything he's done to you.
Ghost who can feel the damp sheets under him from you absolutely leaking from the way he's treating you.
How you try to dirty talk back but your words are slurred and you can't make out a thought with his thick cock stretching you out ruthlessly.
Virgin!Reader whose told not to cum but can't stop from jerking, hips uneasy and organ abused and oversensitive from the amount of orgasms.
Virgin!Reader who passes out when Ghost gets really going, the pleasure too much for them before they find themselves back awake and being pumped full of seed.
Ghost who couldn't help himself, filling his baby to the brim with his nut, tainting your insides as his and only his. Claiming you, ruining you into his perfect partner.
Ghost who gives you the sweetest aftercare. Full of kisses, soft words of praise, caressing and holding you. Chances are he'll keep his cock buried in your warmth for a while longer, or maybe he'll pull out and watch his cum drip from your writhing entrance. If he does he'll be instantly hard and ready for more.
Seeing your fucked out look and how much rest you need just from one round of him playing rough up with your body.
Knowing that he's left you unable to ever seek pleasure from another man because your first experience was with him and he has never left anyone unsatisfied.
Knowing he's tainted you into someone who now thinks of his cock two times a day and whimpers when he has to leave for long times at work, knowing you'll miss his cock.
And that's how he likes it. Knowing you'll be missing him, wanting him and no one else. He's made you hungry, he's corrupted you and he couldn't be more proud.
#cod smut#simon ghost riley#simon riley#simon ghost riley x female reader#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost riley x reader smut#cod mw2#simon ghost riley x any reader#simon riley x reader smut
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Sea Cryptic! Danny AU- Pt.2
[Pt.1] [Pt.3] [Pt.4][Pt.5][Pt.6][Pt.7]
Danny dragged up another plastic wrapped body from the bay.
“It’s you. What are you doing?”
“Oh, holy smokes!” Danny screeched. “What-! Oh, it’s you! The litterer!”
Batman stood in front of Danny, cape draped around his shoulders and a far better sight to see than the last time Danny had seen the guy.
“… I’m Batman.” He introduced himself to Danny awkwardly.
“Uh huh. You missed a couple of things cleaning up the beach last time.” Danny dropped the body on the pebbled shore of the bay and crossed his arms. He sent Batman an unimpressed look. “You’re just like your city. There’s trash all over the water!”
Batman glanced down.
“That is a body.”
Danny scowled.
“No, that’s plastic. Plastic does not belong in the ocean.”
Batman sighed. For some reason, Danny thought he seemed less… antagonistic. Wait, did he think Danny killed the guy?!
“That is a body wrapped in plastic.”
Fuck it.
“If it was a body, then bury it. Or decompose it before you people decide to dump it into the water. Even the sharks have the decency to decompose when they’re dead. Do you know how long plastic takes to deteriorate??”
Batman glanced to the side, where the line of plastic wrapped masses had caught his eye to begin with.
“I do. Did all of these come from the bay?”
“Quite obviously, yes. I don’t have enough time to clean the waters! Ancients, it’s like they’re multiplying!” Danny knew why they were multiplying. It’s because Gothamites were getting murdered and dumped weekly. The problem is that Danny has classes and assignments to complete and he couldn’t be out here every week.
“I’ll handle it.”
“Oh, will you? And how do you plan on doing that when you couldn’t even properly clean the beach of your plane? I even stacked it up nicely for you to pick up!”
Alright, so maybe Danny had a couple of grudges. Like… a solid one that’s based on the hours of sleep he missed cleaning up after Batman and the wreck.
“We didn’t get everything?”
“No.” Danny huffed. “Whatever. Just figure out what to do with these bodies. I was not looking forward to digging graves for all of them.”
“You were going to dig graves for them?” Batman sounded off.
Danny scowled again. “I’m dead, genius.” And now Batman looked like someone ran over his dog. “Respecting the dead is important and graves are important for the dead. How else would we know we’re remembered?”
Danny threw up his hands. “Humans,” he muttered, like he wasn’t half human himself.
“Anyways, I’m leaving. Handle this properly or else I’m haunting you.”
“Wait-!” Batman said, but Danny had already disappeared.
So, while Batman had an angst crises at two thirty in the morning and thirty new unidentified corpses to contend with, Danny Fenton flew back to his apartment and passed out on his shitty couch.
——
“You need to stop.”
“Pay me to stop, then. What are your villains going to do? Kill me? I’d like to see them try.”
Danny looked Batman right in his lenses and plopped another body down at the man’s feet.
“I can tell you who they are for a fee.” Danny offered the vigilante. “Some of these still have shades of their souls attached still.”
“What.”
Danny tilted his head, moon once more lighting a halo of flickering white flames around his head. “$100 per identity.”
Batman stared.
#sea cryptid Danny phantom#sea spirit au#dcxdp#danny phantom#bruce wayne#batman#bamf danny phantom#Danny the tired college student#Danny is broke#Batman is not#Danny: business opportunity???#sea cryptic! danny au
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DEFINITELY NUTS ᡣ𐭩 ⤷ next
pairing: Simon 'Ghost' Riley & model!fem!reader
synopsis: Ghost mentions you but 141 doesn't believe that he got a wife
tags: crack (well, attempted), fluff
Ghost’s strict rules for privacy are something the 141 has known for years now. He’s not the type of person to blab about his personal life and often chooses just to keep quiet. So, imagine their surprise when he suddenly says that he’s going to take a day off because his wife asked him to watch a play.
“Price, ‘am not gonna be here tomorrow. Got a date with my missus.”
All eyes are on him, everyone stills. “WIFE? Since when?!” Soap exclaimed, finally breaking the silence. His eyes were almost bulging out his eyes. “Never told you about her?” Ghost hums, unamused by the Scottish’s exclaim. “Johnny here does have a reasonable reaction. You never tell us anything ‘bout you, mate,” Price joined, chuckling and pulling out a cigar. The man just contemplates before brushing it off and bidding farewell, leaving the group confused.
“Ain’t no way he’s telling us the truth. That man ain’t got no bone in his body to bag someone,” Soap voiced out, looking for anyone to support his disbelief. “I mean..” Gaz whistles out, crossing his arms over his chest and tilting his head as if he’s agreeing to some extent. That’s when, unbeknownst to Ghost, he got the reputation of being delusional and a liar.
Soap, still doubtful days later, watches the lieutenant with a vision like a hawk. “Hey, lieutenant.” Ghost snaps his head up, looking at him. “How was the date with your wife?” Immediately, everyone else stopped what they were doing, silently listening. It was obvious he was baiting Ghost, emphasizing the wife as if putting on quotes. They weren’t as nosy as Soap but each one of them still held a bit of doubtness that the brick wall of the team managed to get a girl, and even marry her.
“It was okay. The missus had fun,” Ghost chuckles, fondly remembering how you were beaming on the way, rambling about the plot of the play. “Can we see pictures?” Soap smirked thinking he finally got the lieutenant but was taken aback when Ghost only shrugged and pulled out his phone before freezing. “Ah, we didn’t take pictures yesterday. Said she wanted to live in the moment.”
Soap whipped his head to signal to Gaz, seemingly saying ‘See? He’s definitely lying! How convenient he has no pictures.”
“How about just a picture of your wife?” Kyle suggested, now invested while Price seemed to be shaking his head in the corner. “I have none with me but..” With a few clicks, Ghost holds up his phone for everyone to see. Like birds, everyone flocked around him, curious to see. For a while, everyone was surprised and sure the man was lying. I mean, he just showed them a picture of a drop-dead gorgeous model from a magazine!
‘He's definitely lost it’ everyone seemed to think, offering pity glances at the man who had this prideful shine in his eyes. Walking up to his superior, Soap patted him on the back. “It’s fine, mate… we understand how difficult it must be.” ‘not having a lady at all’
Thinking Johnny meant about your hectic schedule, he agreed. “It’s quite tough but we make it work,” he chuckled which made everyone wince.
‘Definitely nuts!’
Weeks passed after that and the topic never got brought up, until Ghost came in with a bento in hand covered with a handkerchief with frilly ends. When asked about it, he replied, “Ah, wife’s testing out recipes for an upcoming TV show. ‘S been practicing and asked me to bring one.” Once again, he was given pity glances and even heard a defeated sigh from Soap.
‘He’s too far gone’
“How’s work?” you ask, dazedly paying attention to the movie you guys put, more invested in burying your face in Simon’s chest while he drapes both arms on your waist, completely engulfing your torso under his muscles. “Been getting a few weird stares,” he mumbles, playing with your hair and pressing kisses on your forehead. “Why?” you peer up, resting your chin on his shoulder. “I don’ know, princess.”
Meanwhile…
“Should we just… finally set the lieutenant on a date? I feel bad. I mean, he even lied about his “wife” making him lunch,” Johnny sighed.
“Probably the best idea,” Kyle nodded.
Now Price… he knows the truth. He met you before when you dropped by, asking for Ghost— which ended horribly— but he’ll lying if he said he’s not getting a kick out of this.
꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱: probably won't be posting for a while :] Did you guys notice the hint to my previous work? Please do. 😔
dividers by @cafekitsune
Please reblog!! Ask is open!
check out my other works in the masterlist: ୭!
#simon ghost x you#simon riley cod#simon riley fluff#simon riley call of duty#simon riley x you#simon ghost x reader#simon riley x reader#ghost x you#ghost riley#ghost x reader#simon ghost riley#task force 141#john price cod#john soap mactavish#kyle gaz garrick#ghost fluff#cod x reader#cod modern warfare#cod mw2#canary’s melodies
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holup— ima need a moment with my thoughts 🥵🥵 miguel sending reader’s ex a photo mid-sex is so petty and so him!! he would follow up with a video of himself giving you back shots (he’ll hide your face because he’s a gentlemen (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)), flip the camera around to show his face with a smirk and say “lose her number” because he’s a cocky ass mf
MAAAN you’re onto something anon, cuz a waterfall just breaks down in between my legs���🤤
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“hmm, you like that huh, baby?”
his lips pulls into a lazy smirk, heavy panting as he pounds you from behind. both of his hands gripping onto your hips, talons digging slightly into the skin giving you the perfect pain of pleasure,
“yes papi—fuck yes” you mewl, mouth slightly wide open as you release another moan that makes his cock twitch. “i love how deep you get inside me”
he exhales a dark chuckle as he pounds faster, “sé que te gusta. dirty, dirty fucking girl.” then he leans slightly to whisper on your ear. “only for me, hm?”
you nod, biting down onto your lower lip as you’re running out of things to say. your brain tends to fogged when you have his cock deep inside your cunt, but you wouldn’t have it any other way,
as he about to fist your hair up, he hears a ‘ding’ coming from your phone. his brows furrowed curiously, because who the fuck is hitting up your phone at this hour? couldn’t be someone from work,
“who’s that?” he asks breathlessly as he watches you pull your head back before grabbing your phone and check,
“aw fuck”
“what?” he asks again, hearing you groan. “who is it?”
“remember Jonathan?” you ask as you look over your shoulder at him
oh man, he does not need to be told twice.
his expression then slowly formed into anger and annoyance, grunting in disgust as he snatches your phone,
“i’ll teach him a fucking lesson” he says through gritted teeth, hips snapping back into yours as he continues to thrust even faster,
miguel unlocks your phone, pressing the camera before he starts to take a video of your backside. the sound of your dirty moans are filling the room as he plunges deeper, his other hand coming to give your ass a smack.
the word ‘papi’ and ‘miguel’ keeps falling off your lips like a prayer, and it just feeds his ego even more. because he knows that Jonathan will watch this video and learns that you don’t belong to that sorry excuse of a man anymore.
no. you belong to him.
“tell me, baby” he adjusts the camera to the back of your head, making sure that your face isn’t in it. “who’s pussy is this?”
“yours” you say without any hesitation, knuckles turning white from gripping the sheets far too hard. “and no one else’s”
“good girl” he then flips the camera to show his face. his expression is dead serious, eyes locked into the screen as if he’s staring Jonathan in person. and for the icing on a cake, his fangs make a tiny bit appearance just to creep him off.
“lose her number, tú hijo de puta. or i’ll kill you” with that he sends it to your ex, throwing your phone to the side. “now he fucking knows to not text you anymore ”
hearing that makes you flush as you giggle. miguel’s hand slowly glide down against you back and pressing you onto the mattress so he can lay his body down completely on top. “my woman” he whispers lowly into your ear,
“hm, maybe next time if he does it again, you should take a picture of me sucking your cock, right papi?” you suggest with a sly smirk,
he groans at that, his hand coming up to choke you as the other supporting his weight beside your torso.
“ay, that’s why you’re my everything, mami”
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Ooooh~ Drink mix up? >.>
Because! Wes DID, in fact, get that dream job. HAS learned... after many, many hours of "beat about the head and shoulders with an ethics pamphlet by his great aunt", to keep his mouth shut! Family curse of Sight? WHAT family curse?
He doesn't see shit! Mind your business.
What're you? A cop?
Look, he sent Fenton a gift basket. He was a shitty, shitty "I have to be RIGHT and nothing else matters!" Stubborn lil asshole of a kid. He got better. Grew up. No one is there best Self during puberty. He DOES, in fact, regret it.
Which is WHY, he is deliberately ignoring Kent's terrible, awful, paper-thin, "who meee~?" Aw shucks BULLSHIT excuse of a disguise, like it isn't blatantly obvious he's Superman. Yep. Nothing to see here! Nothing but us chickens! Mmmmm, morning coffee! Delicious.
But see, here's the THING.
The Itty, bitty, teeny lil PROBLEM...
Wes grew up in Amity "Totally Not Supernatural Hotspot For Centuries" Park. He is... to put it mildly, genetically? A freak. His biology is ALL fucked up. Everyone's is. And it WAS NOT made better by the Fenton's playing fast and loose with their hell basement. The Ectoplasmic NUKE that was that portal.
There is a REASON his morning coffee? Is COVERED. Contained. Fenton brand, LEAD LINED, specialty cups. The sort that can't be EATEN from the inside out. Eroded after a few uses. They're ugly as sin, but they work. He even ordered a few covers from Star's etsy shop. (Apparently he wasn't the only one who hated how ugly they looked. Good for her though, he heard it was doing well.)
He SAYS this? 'Cause his morning brew is less... straight COFFEE... and more... how to put this? A blend? Brew? Potion, really. Like an energy drink. From hell. Or, partially at least, the Zone. It's the combination of roots, seeds, and a few dried berries. Kinda like a tea, actually!
Tasty. Adds this nice fruity, warmth. A zing. Goes GREAT with the coffee. And it really perks you up... if you are Limnal. If you AREN'T? It'll desolve your esophagus like swallowing straight acid. And that's not TOUCHING the... witch-y, more Seer specific bit of the blend.
That stuff is medicinal. You know, "calm the mind" and "mental clarity". That sorta thing. With a good ol helping of "don't blurt out everyone's secrets, you spacey bitch! For the love of God, those are our INSIDE THOUGHTS!". Which? Really helpful! Infinitely less likely to get decked. It's a family staple.
Poisonous, though.
They're fine cause they've basically developed an immunity to that part, but like? Wouldn't recommend. It's why he NEVER shares his drinks. Food? On occasion. If he PLANS it and knows not to add and interesting spices. But DRINKS? Never. Weston family brews are basically NEVER safe.
Which? Begs the Very Important Question ™!
Who's Coffee Is This?
Cause it SURE AS FUCK AINT HIS!
You never realize quite how fast you can go from "completely calm and kinda sleepy" to "bomb strapped to my chest, primal panic AWAKE" until it happens to you. His coffee was ON HIS DESK. People have passed by. He talked to them. Cups put down and picked up. Lazy early morning. He doesn't even register, really, as his chair crashes to the ground.
He's shouting.
People confused. They don't realize yet. His head whips around, looking for that distinct cover. Before it's too late. Before someone takes that fatal sip. He spots it. Bolting from his desk. Crashing through coworkers, over desks. Chaos and outrage. "It's 'just' coffee!" They cry.
Kent turns, confused. Pretending. Raises his (HIS! Oh god!) cup to his lips, unknowing. Wes SCREAMS a warning. But he doesn't listen. "It's 'just' coffee" They never listen. Curse of Cassandra. God's damn it. This is why his family fucking CONVERTED!
He TACKLES the man of steel.
RIPS his cup away from him, knows his eyes are frantic. How much have you had?! Spit it out! Wes voice ECHOES in the sudden silence. I'm a META, Kent! It could KILL YOU!
And oh, Oh NOW they get it. Or perhaps it is the burn in his mouth that finally registers. He rolls, spits oil slick nebulae that eat away the floor. There is blood mixed within it. It took mere moments. Superman stares, transfixed and horrified, as Wes shakes. He... he should probably get off of him.
He'll move in a moment.
When his legs no longer feel weak from terror.
The news room is in chaos. Lane kneeling by her husband, Perry trying to do damage control. He... he's probably gonna lose his job, isn't he? Wes wants to cry. Protection laws only go so far, after all. And warning his boss about his dietary needs means jack shit, after an incident like this. Beloved as Kent is. Not that anyone likely believed him.
They never do.
And now he's nearly killed Superman.
@hypewinter @hdgnj @legitimatesatanspawn @nerdpoe @lolottes @babbling-babull @mutable-manifestation @dcxdpdabbles
#dpxdc#dp x dc#dc x dp#dcxdp#dc x dp prompt#minji's writing#killer coffee au#weston family brew#will make you see god or meet im
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