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pupkashi · 8 months

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gojo’s favorite hobby is being your personal nurse

a/n: hi friends ! this is incredibly self indulgent seeing as though i am currently sick and need comfort as i fight this tough battle (studying for exams) i have no idea if this good or not because my brain isn’t really working ,,, sorry if it sucks </3

wordcount: 2,036

masterlist

it started off with the itch in your nose, just the slightest sensation that you brushed off. the pollen count wasn’t too high anyway, the short walks between lectures should be fine.

you ignored the scratchy and sore feeling in your throat, maybe it was just because you had too much of a fun time at the football game? but you were not sick.

“sweetheart you look like death” satoru pouted, closing the apartment door behind him as he walked in. he easily slipped his uniform jacket off, holding it loosely in his hand, leaning over you and gently pressing his lips to your forehead.

“are you sick? why didn’t you tell me this morning before i left?” he frowned, tossing his jacket to the side and immediately b-lining for the kitchen.

“‘toru what are you doing? I’m fine!” you mumble, the scratchy feeling in your throat making it harder for you to argue back.

“what is it? your allergies? were any of your friends sick? they said the cold was going around again…” he’s mainly mumbling the last part to himself as he trails off.

you can only hear the light clatter of mugs and pots as you peer over the kitchen bar from your spot on the couch. your laptop was open, still untouched as you pulled the blanket closer to your body.

“what are you even doing? i can take care of myself” you sigh, already standing up, heading to the kitchen before satoru’s deep voice has you stopping in your tracks.

“sit down sweets” his voice is firm, leaving no room for argument as you settle yourself back into the couch. only moments later he’s walking over to you slowly, a mug in his hands.

“drink this while it’s still hot, i added some honey in so it tastes a bit less bitter” he smiles, setting it on the table. “I’ll be back in a bit, i want that tea finished by the time I’m back, ‘kay?”

“where are you going?” you ask, eyes peeking from behind the hot mug, the hot liquid soothing your throat.

“gonna get us some pho” he smiles, pressing a kiss to the top of your head before he’s vanishing in front of your eyes, the slight gust of wind hitting you softly.

you let out a small sigh, sipping on the tea in front of you, thankful for the brief relief of pain it brought you. your eyes fell on your laptop, a pout on your lips as you realized it was already 6pm and you had yet to do a single thing on your to do list.

before you could even think of grabbing your laptop and doing some work satoru was unlocking the front door, bounding in with two bags of food, setting them on the table and heading over to you.

he didn’t hesitate in closing your laptop, stopping your protests as he sweeps you off your feet and places you softly in the dining chair.

“here take this medicine once you’ve finished all the food” satoru hums gently, sitting down next to you and handing you the gel capsules. “wouldve made you chicken noodle soup but all the chickens frozen” he smiled sheepishly.

“it’s okay angel boy” you hum, sipping on the hot broth, “this is great too” satoru can’t help but smile, glad that you hadn’t lost your appetite.

he’s carrying the dishes to the sink, making sure to wash them and put them to dry before you can even mutter a word argument. ‘you’re sick you should be resting not washing dishes’ you had reprimanded him, a soapy finger pointing to the bedroom, ‘now go get ready for bed.’ your own words biting you in the ass as he repeated them back to you months later.

it wasn’t long after you’d brushed your teeth and changed clothes that satoru joined you in bed, frowning at how badly you were shivering.

“c’mere sweets” he murmurs, already pulling you into his chest.

“what if-” satoru doesn’t let you finish, brushing your hair out of your face a bit before placing a gentle kiss on your forehead.

“stop worrying your pretty little head about me, I’m not gonna get sick” he smiles, pulling you even closer to him. you relish in the radiating heat of his body, more grateful than ever that he had always ran much warmer than you did. “I’m the strongest remember?”

the words have you rolling your eyes at him, not having enough energy to argue back. you’re only mustering a light smack on his chest, fighting back a smile when satoru whines out a soft ‘ouch!’ before squeezing you a bit tighter.

the nighttime medicine kicks in quickly, and between your body aches and runny nose, there isn’t much protest on your end when giving in to the drowsiness.

“gnight angel boy” you mumble, already half asleep as the words tumble from your mouth. satoru peeks his eyes open a bit, taking in your flushed skin, parted lips and messy hair.

“goodnight sweetheart” he smiles, heart pounding against his rib cage. how do you manage to look like the epitome of love and perfection even when you’re sick?

the next morning satoru’s side of the bed is empty, and there’s a hot cup of tea sitting on the nightstand. it’s as you’re taking the first sip of the steaming liquid that satoru walks in with oatmeal and fruits for you.

“how’s my sweetheart doin’?” he asks, his lips pressing to your forehead, the gesture doubling as affection and assurance that your fever didn’t come back.

“‘m okay” you mumble, blowing a bit at the food infront of you to cool it down. “i have lab at 8 though i need to get ready” you sigh, muscles screaming at you to stop moving.

“you feeling better?” he asks, sitting at the foot of the bed, making sure you took your medicine and ate your fill.

“worse actually” you sigh, setting aside the now empty plate and swallowing the gel capsules along with the warm tea.

satoru frowns at your words, your skin still flushed and goosebumps trailing along your arms despite being swaddled in the fuzzy blanket. he’s holding out the thermometer infront of you, hoping for his initial guess to be wrong, but as he reads the thermometer his frown only deepens.

“you’re burning up” he sighs, already pulling his phone out and dialing shoko, walking out the bedroom before you can say anything. “yeah can you make a doctors note for y/n? they’ve got a fever and i don’t want them leaving the house for another couple days.”

you can hear the smile in his voice as he thanks his friend, walking in with a wide grin on his face as he takes the plates from your lap.

“shokos making you a doctors note so you don’t have to worry about working or class or anything until next week” he grins, pressing his lips to your forehead.

“i still have some homework i have to finish up tonight” you frown, falling back on the plush pillows behind you. satoru’s footsteps are quiet as he leaves the room, and you can vaguely hear the sound of the kitchen sink running as he washes the dishes.

you don’t realize you’ve fallen asleep until you wake up hours later, the sun shining through the still closed blinds and your just a tad bit sweaty, most likely from the fever your body was still fighting off.

your muscles are still aching as you throw the blanket off your body, suddenly feeling much too hot for the layers of clothes you have on.

you’re peeking your head out from the hallway, the tv playing softly and satoru has your laptop in his lap, fingers typing away as his eyes land on you after a minute.

“what are you doing?” you ask, slowly making your way towards him, fatigue hitting you the second you sit down.

“i wrote your paper already so you didn’t have to worry about it, you can check it over before you turn it in, also emailed your lab instructor so you can get a makeup assignment for todays stuff” he smiles, turning the screen to you.

“toru you didn’t have to” you pout, warmth blooming in your chest, this time not related to your illness. satoru is smiling at you, pressing his glossy lips to your nose, taking a second to smooth your hair down before shaking his head.

“it’s the least you deserve,” he replies, “don’t want you stressed while you’re sick, focus on getting healthy for me again.” the slight twinkle in his blue eyes is enough to make you cave, knowing there was no way to talk him out of this one.

your body wiggling it’s way under one of his arms is enough of an answer for him. he can feel how hot your skin feels against his, but he doesn’t mention it as you doze off against him, only waking you when his timer goes off.

“what’re you timing?” you ask, still slightly asleep as you watch him head to the kitchen.

“your soup is done! it’s time for you to take medicine again.”

your lover is attentive and doting if nothing else, serving you a generous bowl of his home made chicken noodle soup. he’s explaining the benefits of each vegetable as he plates the food, telling you how he made megumi some when he used to get sick and how the boy always seemed to get better soon after.

“it has everything to do with the secret ingredients and not with the medicine i was making him take” he grins, placing the bowl on the dining table and ushering you over.

you bring the first spoonful to your lips, fully expecting to have to lie through your teeth and tell your lover how amazing the soup was. but you didn’t have to lie, and the evident shock on your face was enough to boost satoru’s ego through the roof.

“oh wow” you mumble, bringing a second spoonful to your mouth, “this is actually really good.” your brows are slightly furrowed as you finish the soup, sniffling a bit as you set your spoon down.

“not bad huh?” there’s a giant grin on his glossy lips as he smiled at you, and even sick and feverish you’re rolling your eyes at him and crossing your arms over your chest.

“what’s the secret ingredient?” satoru is quick to light up at your question, pressing his lips to your cheek before replying.

“love!”

you can’t help the smile that plays on your lips, giggling a bit at his one word reply. “no wonder it’s the best thing I’ve ever eaten,” you reply, the words making his smile grow wider as he follows you back to bed.

satoru doesn’t say anything as you burrow yourself under the blankets again, instead he helps tuck you in, kissing your forehead the moment you’re finally comfortable.

it’s like that for the next few days.

breakfast in bed, satoru waking you to make sure you take your medicine every six hours. he’s taking your temperature avidly, holding you tightly when you’re sleeping, pressing feathery kisses to your flushed skin.

he’s cooking you home made meals and buying you anything you want, keeping an eye on you at all times when he’s home. he’s waving yaga off when he calls, telling him there’s a much more pressing issue at hand and leaving nanami in charge of his students until further notice.

“angel you know i can take care of myself right?” you mumble, your fingers are tangled in the hair at the nape of his neck. “I’m not even that sick anymore actually.”

satoru furrows his brows at your words, shaking his head softly at you, “don’t be silly sweets, I’ll always take care of you.” he doesn’t bother giving you time to respond, instead he’s squeezing you a bit tighter, pressing another gentle kiss to your forehead before letting out a soft sigh.

“now get some rest, you need all the sleep you can get.”

“whatever you say dr. gojo” you tease, smiling as he grins down at you.

taglist (send an ask to be added!): @chilichopsticks @anime-for-the-sleepless @4sat0ruu @safaia-47 @nanamikentoseyebags @fushironi @nineooooo @the-mom-friend-dot-com @gojoshooter @sat6ru @luna0713hunter @torusmochi @orihimeii

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snotbuggle · 23 days

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Omega when she gets to jail and realizes that she now has to big sister four other children. One of which is nowhere near her age.

Going to try and condense some more serious thoughts about these episodes down below so I can avoid spoiling someone as much as possible and not post a dozen times. I don’t want to miss tag any one of those.

Jex/Jek?? I can’t completely remember his name, but the mirialan kid is for sure not going to trust her at all. Can’t say much for the pantoran kid since they haven’t shown much of them so far, but Eva is going to love her.

I think the mirialan kid is definitely going to be skeptical of Omega’s prior knowledge of the facility, Emerie, and why they’re there. Although he might overlook these things hanging on her promise that her brothers will get her, and in turn them, out of there. I can’t help but wonder what Omega and the others will think after about a week and there still not being a rescue. (These two are assuming that she will be placed with the other force sensitive children. Although she may be moved since her blood actually works for project Necromancer)

Crosshair is definitely going to hear it from Hunter. ESPECIALLY after he threw Hunter’s past failure to keep her out of Tantiss in his face. What I think will weigh on his conscience more though is the fact he thinks she’ll be alone this time. In a way she definitely will, but I have no doubt that he realizes he was probably the highlight of her day. He was probably the one thing that kept her hopeful even if he tried to talk down on her and get her to leave. Yes, she had hope that Hunter and Wrecker would find her, but she also needed someone there with her. A familiar face and not someone who just revealed they were your sister out of the blue. Her situation has changed, but Crosshair doesn’t know that. The Crosshair guilt is going to be so real in these last episodes.

Switching gears, CX agents are always a cool and interesting topic for me. While the identity of CX-2 isn’t usually as engaging, I have to say that I’ve drifted from the standpoint of “there’s no way that’s Tech” to “it’s a possibility” over the course of the last two episodes. I’ve seen some fun ideas for who it is otherwise. Personally, I think that they’re probably just another copy paste man with no autonomy anymore.

ANYHOW! I haven’t seen anyone talk about it much, but the scene with Hemlock reviewing the CX agent data and the capsule has me thinking a little harder on their creation/conditioning. The way Hemlock talks about the other operatives as well. “The others aren’t ready to join you” (paraphrasing) seems to show that after the mental conditioning through obviously brutal means, it takes a load of time to physically condition the agents. Seeing as CX-1 was most likely initiated around the same time as Crosshair (I choose to believe that they were near each other’s tables which is why they’re familiar), that took around five months to half a year. In that time span there had to be a lot of soldiers who Hemlock saw fit to be “reprogrammed” but we see very few operatives throughout. This means that if they make it out of mental conditioning, physical conditioning is most likely very dangerous and often times fatal. I’d like to draw attention to the capsules as a part of that physical conditioning. There were several capsules that Hemlock was observing, along with the foggy one that is most likely that new Huyang-lookin-ass operative. If these capsules are the final stage of physical conditioning, it adds meaning to CX-2’s first line, “Why have I been activated?” (Once again paraphrasing). Although the capsules could be for something else entirely.

Also a bit of a gripe, why in the world do you need a new secret-secret operative, Hemlock? You have the commandos, and then the first X troopers, now the CX’s, and what? You wanted a new one? I can’t tell if this man is an overachiever or just way too absorbed into the advanced trooper rabbit hole. Also for you Tech theorists, it’s kinda suspicious that he makes a new version of agents isn’t it? Almost like there’s something…deviant about him?

Completely side tracking here, I really like Phee’s awareness in the station. Yeah she didn’t hear the blaring alarm, but she was in a room where it’d be hard to hear anyways. However, when she got back she felt something was off about the ramp. We’ve seen how slick CX-2 is, so her noticing something is up was a nice touch imo. Also was very appreciative of her caution and readiness with her knife. I love when female characters get to be aware of their surroundings and ready to throw hands if things go south.

In conclusion, thank you for listening to my dump-rambling. I’ve been trying to keep my lips shut so I don’t miss tag anything and spoil it for someone (because I know that I’ll forget to tag everything right). I hope Wrecker is okay. And even if I’m not a Tech CX theorist, I have to admit that I’ve been seeing some fairly strong parallels.

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frannyzooey · 1 year

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Short Days, Long Nights: 1

Joel Miller x f!Reader

Rating: none — I’ll change it to E when we get there (slow burn, forced proximity, age gap — no age actually mentioned but rather more implied, competence kink)

Summary: Part of a band of travelers, your party is slowly picked off one by one, until there are only two of you left. Finding an abandoned cabin in the woods, you decide to make camp there until you figure out your next move. As the seasons change, the nights get longer and longer…..

A/N: Thank you endlessly to @mourningbirds1 for the incredible feedback, beta, and comments. As always, I couldn’t do it without you. Thank you also to @write-and-buried for her TLOU knowledge and constant support, and @the-ginger-hedge-witch for reading this one over and making me confront how much Joel Miller has rotted my brain 😉 Enjoy!

—

SPRING

The copse of trees surrounding you is dense, and from the overgrown path you’ve been following by groove alone, you almost miss it. A flash of muted, dingy blue in a sea of green.

“Hey,” you call to him. “What’s that?”

He turns, his features and body already taut with a practiced, ready tension and when he sees your face isn’t one of concern but rather curiosity, he relaxes. Walking over to you, he follows the line of your finger with his eyes.

At first, he sees nothing. Just a wall of clustered vegetation: sturdy trunks that hide behind branches heavily weighted with rain, the floor beneath them obscured by ferns that brush against your legs and growth that softens your footsteps. His eyes catch on something too angular for the setting and he frowns, focusing on it.

Barely visible in the distance and seen only through the filtered sunlight that catches the sharp edge: a moss covered roof. A structure, isolated like the two of you.

He glances over at you for a moment, reflexively reaching back for his rifle.

“Let’s take a look.”

Weapon out with his steps steady and slow, he approaches the cabin with a careful, defensive slink. As it slowly comes into view, you brace yourself for any type of movement. Second nature to now activate the constant thrum of self preservation inside you, you check for visible traps as you follow him, your eyes flitting between the building and the ground.

A specific sort of tension fills the air when something is close: you know that feeling now, have become so sensitive that it can wake you from dead sleep the second you feel it. Like a sixth sense forced to emerge due to evolution, you focus on it and feel none of that tension here: just the trilling sound of birds, the soft crunch of pine needles underfoot and the peaceful silence of total seclusion.

Joel catches your attention with the jerk of his head, motioning to stay close.

You approach the front of the cabin together. His hands white knuckle the gun, the butt tucked tight against the worn strap of his backpack where it curves around his shoulder and as his fingers flex in anticipation, you hold your breath.

There is a weighted beat as you wrap your hand around the knob and turn.

In the end, it’s all for nothing - the cabin you find, after roughly working the warped door open, is abandoned.

–

It’s like a time capsule in the middle of the woods.

A thick layer of dust covering everything, motes of it swirl lazily in the beam of Joel’s flashlight as you wander from room to room. His boots scrape against the floor with heavy footfalls, the two of you silently surveying the causally cozy and completely still disarray: a moth bitten handmade quilt thrown over the back of the couch, outdated magazines in a stack on the counter, cobwebbed toothbrushes by the bathroom sink. Bookshelves packed with faded spines, grime covered windows, dead plants in pretty pots lining sills.

Someone loved this cabin once.

Used to your partner through circumstance by now, you anticipate an order to scavenge for everything you can carry and then move on, so you’re surprised when he sets his pack down on the floor and lets himself fall back onto the couch. A cloud of dust bursts into the stagnant air, his hands coming up to wearily scrub his face. They rake through his damp, messy curls as he closes his eyes before laying his head back and letting out an exhausted sigh.

“This should do for the night,” he says. “Could stay until the rain lets up, at least. Be nice to sleep on something other than the ground for a change.”

You nod in agreement, rolling out the kink in your shoulder you woke up with. Your eyes drift over the exposed line of his tanned throat, lingering on the hollow just above his collar. You force yourself to look away. “Yea, the beds didn’t look too bad.”

There had been two of them, across the hall from each other and the idea of a mattress - no matter how old - had you yearning to climb into bed already. Nothing saying you can’t, you reason with yourself. Not when time is more of a concept than anything else these days but the gnawing hunger in your stomach immediately disagrees, knowing exactly how long it’s been since you’ve last eaten.

“I’m gonna go look for some food,” you tell him and he hums in acknowledgement, seemingly indifferent.

Not really expecting to find anything of substance, you feel a swoop of scarce felt joy when you discover a cache of canned goods in the pantry. A treasure trove.

“Hey Joel,” you call, wiping your thumb over a peeled, dried out label. “I think I found dinner.”

He doesn’t answer, most likely asleep given his ability to succumb whenever and wherever he can when he gets a moment and you take several, bringing them over to the counter. Brushing away the dust that sticks to the labels, you survey your choices: baked beans and peaches, two of each. Just what you would expect at a lake house.

Letting him rest and holding the beans in your hand and a spoon you find in another, you take bites straight from the can as you wander down the hallway of the cabin, looking at the pictures on the walls. Using the heel of your hand to wipe away the dust that covers the glass, smiling faces emerge from the fog. You study them one by one, slowly chewing.

They look like stock photos you used to see in stores: generically bland smiles, posed to perfection. An elderly couple with their children of various ages, a large family gathering photo, parents with children sitting between them. You try hard to picture those people here: sitting in the living room, sleeping in the bedrooms, playing outside. The concept seems too foreign to grasp, too far away to be real and you take another bite of food, pushing away the sudden unbidden reminder of similar photos you once had in your own home, now lost.

You hear the couch protest as Joel gets up, coming to pass you in the hallway. He stops for a moment behind you, looking to see what you’re staring at and when he sees what it is, he frowns. Letting a deep sigh escape him, he keeps moving down the narrow space and with his pack in his hand, disappears into a bedroom.

–

Wanting the safety of his nearness and given that it’s the only other bedroom, you set up across the hall when you’re done eating. Placing your own worn pack on the floor, you start to methodically strip the mattress, shaking out the bedding. Minimal creeping mold darkens the seamed edge of a mattress in otherwise good condition and you flip it, hoping for the best. Shaking out the pillow to make sure there is nothing hiding in it, you take the pillowcase with you, wanting to air it out on the deck now that the rain has stopped.

Wanting to do the same for him, you walk into the bedroom he’s claimed and even though he’s not in there, it already feels like an invasion of privacy to be standing in it. His pack slumped on the end of the bed a visual claim, you grab his pillow off the bed and start to tug off the case.

What does he look like, sleeping in a real bed? Does he bunch the pillow or tangle himself in the quilt? When he gets up, is there a rumpled form left behind, still warm with the heat of his body pressed into the sheets?

For all the time you’ve spent with him, the majority of Joel is a mystery to you. He gives away more than he knows, but that’s still not a lot. You knew of him back in the QZ: his broad frame a hard one to miss, his reputation even bigger and while your paths rarely crossed within the borders of those high walls, once you set out, it was hard to stay out of his orbit.

His handsomeness drew your eye initially, but it was his usefulness that made you stay in his shadow. His determination to fight for his own made you feel protected by proximity, even more so when he extended it to you.

Had to, once your group got picked off one by one.

You had been thankful, in a sick way, that he was the one that remained. The best one. The most ruthless one. A ruthlessness you admired, then revered, then thought about at night as you tried to drift off to sleep.

Without needing to sleep clothed to protect himself from the elements, does he still sleep in them, or will he be in less? If so, how much less?

Sharply snapping the pillowcase in the air, the sound brings you back to the present and you shake away the thoughts, leaving the room.

“Whatcha got there?” He’s sitting on the couch, a can of peaches in his hand and when you face him, you have to look away from the glistening juice on his lips.

“Oh, I was going to hang these outside, see if I can get some of the dust smell out.” Your nose crinkles and he smirks, taking another bite and shaking his head.

“Thought you’d be used to that by now.”

You shrug, taking a seat in a chair by the woodstove. Leaning forward to inspect it, your chair wobbles; the front leg rotted.

He nudges his chin in the direction of the stove when you open its door. “I thought about lighting it, but we better not. Don’t want the smoke showin’ people someone’s here.”

You nod, sitting back in the chair. “I can’t believe what a good find this is. There’s all sorts of stuff. I found some clothes in the closets, some more blankets too, if you need one.”

You watch him chew, his jaw flexing under the salt and pepper of his beard.

“There is more food where that came from, if you’re hungry. The pantry is pretty full.”

He acknowledges it with a nod, taking another bite and you glance towards the windows that run the length of the room. A miracle none of them are broken, thanks to the secured tarp that lined the outside.

“I think I’m gonna clean some of these and see if I can get a better view.”

“Cleanin’ the windows, doin’ the laundry. You lookin’ to move in?” His teasing tone is a dry one, and you smile, shrugging.

“Just so we can see what’s out there. In case someone comes.”

He looks at you, his eyes narrowing for a moment before he finishes the can, drinking the juice.

“Well don’t wear yourself out too much,” he says, standing with a soft grunt of pain. “We ain’t gonna be here that long. Not worth makin’ it all homey.”

He sets the can down on the counter, grabbing his bow and supplies off the surface. You watch him check his stock of arrows before reaching back to feel for the knife strapped to his belt.

“I’m gonna go see if I can find us something for dinner.” He gives you a look, his eyes quickly sliding down over your form and then back up. “Yell if you need me, okay? I’ll stay close.”

You nod, holding his eyes for a minute and when he goes, you use the pads of your fingers to wipe clean a clear circle on the window.

A creek lines the edge of the property, one that you didn’t even hear from the path with how thick the vegetation is and you watch him walk down along the edge of it for a moment, his head bowed. His hair is lighter in the sun, ruffling slightly in the wind and you keep watching until his form disappears behind the trees.

–

Searching the cabinets methodically for anything of use while he’s gone, you find them buried deep in a junk drawer, sealed inside a faded, dirty ziplock.

Seed packets. A lot of them.

“Holy shit,” you whisper to yourself, opening the plastic pouch. You handle each pack delicately, spreading them neatly and carefully out on the counter and marvel silently at the whole vegetable garden you’ve found in this tiny bag. The haul would be worth more than you can imagine back at the QZ, but the potential for it is even higher here, in this dim kitchen, with that patch of moist, fertile soil outside.

You pick them up one at a time, sorting them by recommended growth timelines and a thought takes root in your mind; the paper packets eventually gathered and put neatly back into the bag.

You let it stew the rest of the afternoon, into the evening. As the sky dims, then darkens, as he comes back with a skinned rabbit and cooks it, as you both sit in the living room after dinner, your dirty plates resting on the coffee table between you.

He’s sprawled on the couch, his arm behind his head with his thighs spread wide and the denim around his thighs is molded tight; his other hand resting limply against the inside of his thigh. When his eyes close, your eyes drop from his face to his hand, and then back up again.

“So I found something today,” you begin, and he answers with a slow drawl, content and full.

“Oh yea? Anything good?”

“Really good. Like, something really, really good.”

He opens his eyes then, looking over at you with a tilt of his head.

“Well? You gonna tell me what it is?”

You draw one of the packets from your pocket, holding it in your hand and he sits up immediately, leaning forward on his elbows to reach for it.

“Careful,” you warn, scared some will leak out of the thin, dried out paper.

“You found these here?”

“Yea, in a drawer. In the kitchen.”

You can tell by the way he is looking at them that he knows their value. His hands hold them more tenderly than you thought his hands capable of, and he flips the packet over, reading the front.

“I would kill for a fresh squash right now,” he mumbles, more to himself than anything, as he studies the front.

“Well…” you start, suddenly unsure of your idea when he brings his eyes back up to your face. It’s intimidating when he looks directly at you normally, but you feel it tenfold now. He’s always been the one to call the shots, his experience in this world outweighing yours and while you’re nervous to throw yours out there, thinking of the alternatives nudges you forward.

“I was sort of thinking this afternoon. About this place, and about these seeds.” You pause, looking away for a moment and then back at him. “About us, maybe staying here.”

He immediately frowns, scoffing to discourage the idea. “You can’t be serious. Stay here?”

Though you expected it, his immediate dismissive tone flares annoyance in you.

“Where else is there to go, Joel?” you ask, your voice gaining confidence. “Be serious. Every settlement has been a nightmare, every place we’ve tried —“

He shakes his head, cutting your argument off. “I said we could stay for a night, not stay forever goddamnit. We’re like sitting ducks out here, just waitin’ to get killed. In the middle of fuckin’ no where —“

“Exactly!” you say louder, before bringing your voice down. “Exactly. We didn’t even see this place from the road. Not even from the path off the road. Who is going to find us here? No one knows about this place, or else it would have been looted ages ago. The tarps hid it, the trees block it, the –”

“And then what, huh? The second we light that wood stove, it’s gonna give us away. Even so, what then when someone wandering down that path sees the same thing we saw, and they decide to come take a look for themselves? They are gonna see everything we have – everything you’re suggesting we start – and they are gonna kill us for it.”

He pauses, the next statement forcing you to look at the ground. “Just like we would have done if we found someone else here. Just like we do.”

You say nothing, letting the words hang in the air.

“Just —“ you pause, looking down at your hands. Flashes of the last few months play back in your mind: the hangings, the strict enforcement of rules for all made to benefit the few, the bleak apartment you live in. This mission, all the things you’ve seen along the way, all the fear and terror you’ve felt and how the only person who has ever made you feel safe since the Outbreak began is sitting right here in this room.

If ever this could work, it would only work with him.

You bring your eyes back to him, pleading. “Aren’t you tired of it? So restless, always fighting against everything. For everything you have. Aren’t you sick of it, Joel?”

“Don’t worry about me. I’m just fine.” His tone is clipped, but you can tell he’s thinking. He glances at his watch, the broken face staring back at him. It’s been broken for as long as you’ve known him, but he’s always treated it as carefully as his weapons, his supplies. You can see him illuminated by the moon profile in your mind, his fingers skating around the face as he kept watch, or brushing it with his thumb to delicately keep the dirt off. Seeing your opening, you take it.

“I’m not saying forever,” you press. “Hell, I’m not even saying a month. But let’s just stop for a second. Let’s… just stop. Nothing says we have to go back there. We could be dead, for all they know.”

He brings his attention back to you and placing his hands in his pockets, he straightens his spine. “Probably will be, sooner or later, if we stay here.” He looks you directly in the eye, holding your gaze. “It’s not just the supplies they’ll take. They’ll want way more than that.”

You raise your chin, ignoring the tightening of fear in your chest. He hasn’t let that happen yet, and even if it's foolish to believe, you know he won’t let it happen. When he sees you’re not going to answer, he sighs.

The lantern is bright between you, illuminating the room in a soft glow and his deep brown eyes study you. His expression is stern, like he wants to say no…but he doesn’t.

“It’s a dumb idea.” His statement is said with resignation, but with the authority of the last word and deciding not to push it any further tonight, you stand.

“Well, good thing it was just an idea.” Glancing over at the seed packet, you chew your bottom lip while he watches your face with a frown and your voice gets softer, quieter.

“I’m gonna get some rest. I’ll see you in the morning.”

—

He isn’t there when you wake up, and finding his bow gone, you know he’s out hunting again.

You wander over to the coffee table to pick up the packet of seeds you left there last night when you see a book facedown next to it. Like he was reading something he found on the shelves after you went to bed, and left it there.

Picking it up and turning it over in your hands, a smile unfurls at the edge of your mouth and you sit down on the couch, opening it to the first page:

The Basics of Gardening

#joel miller #joel miller/you #joel miller/reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x reader #the last of us fanfiction #pedro pascal character fanfiction

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lucid-loves · 1 month

Text

First Light ~ Simon "Ghost" Riley Part 4

Pairing: bodyguard!Ghost x princess!reader (fem!reader)

Word Count: 4.4k

CW: angst, violence, blood, strong language, scars, verbal abuse by parents, physical abuse by parents, psychological abuse by parents, opposites attract, forbidden love, slow burn, fluff, attraction and sexual tension, reader POV and ghost POV, minors DNI, smut, virgin reader, first kiss

Let me know if I missed any CWs.

Story Synopsis: After receiving death threats from a mysterious terrorist organization, your royal parents make a decision to reach out to the United States for help. Specifically, they want the US to send a bodyguard to protect their precious princess. When the 141 is called upon to investigate, Ghost is the one assigned to protect you. With your lack of experiences outside of your royal life and his experience with nothing but deadly, worldly affairs, opposites attract.

Chapter Synopsis: It’s time to head to the safehouse that Ghost set up for the both of you. Before you leave though, Ghost introduces you to some new experiences in your own country. While he takes care of you, you find yourself falling for him even more to the point where you want to test curiosity of yours.

Part 1 ~ Part 2 ~ Part 3 ~ Part 4 ~ Part 5

“Has the duke spilled his guts yet?” Ghost asked Soap, making the last minute arrangements for the safehouse as quick as he could. While he would’ve liked to have been the one to interrogate the bastard in his own special way, he didn’t want to leave you alone for too long. Luckily, Soap arrived quickly to take care of the interrogation for him. He was glad that his sergeant didn’t mind talking with his fists too.

“Bits and pieces. Not much though. At least, nothing that will really bolster our investigation. He seems like he genuinely doesn’t know much about the organization he decided to trust. They just made him safety and financial promises which he took without question.” Soap revealed, wiping stray specks of blood on his arms with a warm, moist cloth provided by a maid.

Ghost hummed in annoyance. An idiot like the duke, who was so willing to sell out your life along with your country, wasn’t worth breathing the same air as you. He would kill him if he could. It would be doing the world a favor. “What about the servant?”

Soap shrugged and shook his head. “Still working on that one, Lt. He’s been asleep.”

“Asleep?” Ghost repeated, hardly believing what his sergeant just told him.

“According to the guards, when the man was taken in for custody, he just dropped dead asleep. Coma-level sleep. We can’t get him to wake up. I’ve contacted the team about it and Kate is going to send an expert to test for drugs. We think that he might’ve taken something before being taken into custody. Capsule in the teeth kind of shit.” Soap explained carefully, making sure he covered everything that he needed to cover.

“What about guest statements? Anything useful?” Ghost continues, his patience wearing thin. He needed a win. They all did. This was no longer just a concerned parental request. A whole country was truly at stake of being taken over by terrorists.

Once again, Soap shook his head. “Sorry, Lt. Everything is on record so you’re free to read through everything just in case I missed something, but the only thing we can do is continue our investigation and wait for the servant to wake up.”

Little did they know that you were just outside the doors, listening to their whole conversation. You were finished packing what you thought you needed with the help from your maid staff. So, you ended up leaving the room in search of Ghost to let him know that you were ready to go.

You didn’t mean to eavesdrop. You only meant to wait patiently for their conversation to wrap up. But you couldn’t unhear what was being discussed. It scared you that they haven’t been able to uncover much regarding these terrorists that were after your country and life. It was even scarier to know that there wasn’t much you could do except trust in Ghost and his team.

Finally, you mustered up your courage and gave the door a light knock before coming in. “Pardon me. I’m all set to go to the safehouse.”

Soap’s expression lit up at the sight of you, his lighthearted, playful side coming through immediately. You were fascinated with how different he appeared compared to Ghost. A little shorter, stylish faux mohawk, and a smile that brought life to the prim and proper room. A part of you was expecting Ghost’s teammate to be more like him. Was the 141 actually quite diverse? What was the rest of his team like?

“Well hello, Princess Y/n! I’m Sergeant Mactavish, but people call me Soap. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you after all the things Ghost has said about you.” He greeted you warmly, holding out his hand for a casual handshake. Without thinking, you took it, your own eyes brightening up along with your cheeks.

“A pleasure to meet you as well, Sergeant Mactavish. Ghost talks about me?” You couldn’t help but clarify, your eyes meeting Ghost’s who just averted his gaze. God damn it, Soap!

“He-”

“That’s enough, Sergeant! Get back to work.” Ghost shut him down swiftly, the word of the lieutenant being final. It didn’t hurt Soap though. In fact, he was used to Ghost reacting this way which he thought was hilarious.

With a chuckle, Soap took his leave out of the room. “Aw well, maybe next time! See you later, Princess.”

As he walked out, you smiled, feeling uplifted by the interaction. Meeting Soap was like meeting an old friend. You hoped that you would be able to meet him again, especially to hear the kinds of things Ghost said about you. For now, you redirected your attention back to Ghost who looked more tired than usual.

“Are you feeling alright, Lieutenant Ghost? You look like you need some rest.” You gently pointed out, your brows furrowing in concern. Ghost’s soul warmed up like a fireplace being started at your consideration.

“I’ll be alright. No need to worry about me. You said that you were all ready to go?” He switched topics quickly, not wanting you to worry too much about him. He would catch up on rest later. The most important thing was getting you to a safer place. That would be his safe space to rest too.

You gave a sheepish smile as he redirected the attention onto you. “Indeed. I would prefer to leave sooner rather than later. I hope that me being ready does not rush you.”

He wanted to shower you with praise over you being such a good girl. Ghost was incredibly grateful that you weren’t fussy whatsoever. “No, that’s perfect. We should be getting out of here now.”

An armored car was waiting right outside the palace to take you to the safehouse, already loaded up with just a few suitcases. You weren’t sure how long you were going to be at the safehouse, but you only packed necessities. No formal wear, no jewelry. Nothing that would take up too much space. As you stood on the palace steps, you took a deep breath of fresh air. Birds were chirping excitedly, a slight breeze cut through the would-be heat. It was a perfect day to finally leave your marble prison. Not without protests from your parents, though.

“Are you absolutely sure that this is necessary? I mean, how else will we know that the princess is safe if she is so far away?” Your father nervously blurted, his eyes shifting from Ghost to you to the car in an anxious cycle.

Your mother wasn’t too happy either, though for different reasons that almost had Ghost snap. “How will we know that she is keeping up with her studies?!”

Before Ghost could combat their nerves, you huffed and faced your parents for the first time in your life. This new courage was found in knowing that there was really nothing your parents could do to stop this from happening. “Mother, father, I will be perfectly safe. I will continue to study as usual. However, this will also be a great chance for me to learn what the world is really like outside of the palace. We won’t do anything unsafe, so please, just let me learn what I need to learn.”

For a moment, there was pure silence between everyone. No one was expecting you to stand up for yourself, even if it was about time that you did. Then, your father places his hands on your shoulders, his gaze softening. “Y/n, when did you become such a wonderful young woman? It was only yesterday that I was holding you in my arms for the first time.”

Your eyes widened for a second, not expecting your father to become so affectionate all of a sudden. He was certainly more affectionate than your mother, though, you couldn’t remember the last time your father told you that he loved you. You blinked back tears he pulled you in for a sweet hug as if you were leaving forever.

As Ghost watched, he felt his anger begin to melt. As much as he hated the decisions your parents made regarding your life, at least he knew that it came from a place of love. At least for the case of your father. Your mother, on the other hand, still had a sour look on her face. Thankfully, she kept her mouth shut in a tight line.

“Lieutenant, keep my daughter safe.” The king ordered to which Ghost gave a firm nod to. He would rather lose his life than have you in danger again.

After you pulled away and said your final goodbyes, you got into the armored car. Ghost got into the driver’s seat and started it up, eager to help you see the world outside of the palace walls. As you looked out the window, seeing your parents get smaller and smaller with the distance, you felt a surge of excitement run through you.

Ghost noticed how your demeanor changed. Now without the pressures of royal conformity, you were free to be yourself. More courageous. It seemed like you had some bark and bite in you as well after all. He wanted to know you even more. “You wanna choose the music for the ride?”

You perked up at his offer, eagerly nodding your head as he handed you his phone that was already connected to the car’s bluetooth system. After perusing some options, you settled on a playlist that surprised Ghost. Even under the mask, you could tell that he was questioning your choice. “I want to hear all kinds of music. I want to hear every single song that was banned for me.”

He gave a chuckle for the first time that you’ve been together. The sound had your heart skip a beat. You didn’t even know that he was capable of laughing with how serious he looked all the time. “Very well. I’ll make sure you get your chance to experience anything you want that you normally wouldn’t.”

You bit your lip, trying to contain the utter joy you felt, completely forgetting that your life was in danger just for the moment.

It was a long drive to the safehouse in the deep countryside. Your eyes were trained on the views through the window like it was television. You never knew how pretty your country looked. The architecture was classic with plenty of brick buildings and natural curvatures. There were plenty of sidewalks to cater to pedestrian travel rather than cars. Ivy vines with flowers crawled on the side of buildings, the natural beauty of nature colliding with man-made structures.

There were plenty of open-air markets as well. Produce stands, custom art pieces, coffee trucks. Everything was conveniently available, no matter if you were heading home from work or just taking a stroll. As you passed a farmer’s market, you noticed how busy it seemed with families. Kids running around, parents picking out ingredients, business owners offering samples to treat the good children.

Ghost noticed how you looked out the window, longing to join the streets to really experience what life was like. He debated if it would be safe to allow a little time for you to explore. He wasn’t keen on the idea of so many people around you. However, if he stuck close to you, then it should be fine, right? Besides, how could he deny the pretty little look you gave as you yearned for a little adventure.

Before you knew it, Ghost found somewhere to park and got out of the car. Then, he opened your door and held his hand out for you to take. “Just for a little while, okay? Stick close to me.”

The smile you gave was so big and bright that it almost hurt your cheeks. You couldn’t help it, though. Ghost was granting you one of your biggest wishes. You took his hand and stepped out of the car, taking in the sounds of the city. People conversing, bike bells ringing, dogs barking. It was unlike anything you have ever heard.

Obeying his orders, you did stick close to Ghost, your arm naturally looping around his without much thought. This was the usual hold for an escort that you have performed many times. It was a natural instinct as Ghost led the way to the farmer’s market. That wasn’t to say that you didn’t notice how strong his muscles felt underneath his shirt. You definitely felt how hard your heart pounded as he held you just as securely to his side.

When he paused to swap out his balaclava for the skeleton face mask that he wore at the party, you nearly tripped over yourself. In the natural light of the sun, his blonde hair seemed brighter like sunshine itself. His eyes seemed more open as well. Warmer. You blushed and stared down at the sidewalk for a moment, trying to catch your breath that he ended up stealing from you.

“Everything alright? Having second thoughts?” He wondered, compassion present in his voice as you all of a sudden seemed shy.

With a shake of your head and a smile, you reassured him. “I’m fine. Just eager is all.”

With that, he led you into the market that was flooding with people. Ghost kept a careful eye out on everyone that passed by. His arm also tightened just a little more firmly to ensure that you didn’t get separated from him. As you walked, your eyes scanned over all of the products up for sale. Baked goods, ripe fruit, crocheted clothes, beautiful art. Before you knew it, you were dragging Ghost from stall to stall to ensure that you could see everything that the market had to offer.

Ghost found it amusing. He noticed the way your eyes lit up when you tasted a free sample of fresh cheese or juicy apple slices. He noticed the way the corners of your mouth lifted into a grin as you admired the craftsmanship of art. He also noticed when your eyes lingered on a particular homemade hair claw clip that was decorated with pearls, thin gold chains, and delicate flowers.

“You want it.” He pointed out as more of a statement rather than a question. Your cheeks flushed pink, feeling a little embarrassed by your obvious infatuation. The truth was that most of your clothes and jewelry were chosen for you. You were allowed to mix-and-match with what you were given, but you have never really chosen out anything yourself.

“I’m just impressed with the details. It is quite a beautiful hair clip.” You danced around the topic, wanting to seem more humble. However, Ghost didn’t really buy it. With a swift motion, he fished out his wallet from his pocket and took out some bills.

Your mouth opened in shock. “Lieutenant, you don’t have to-”

“It’s fine. Consider it a souvenir for your first real outing.” Ghost dismissed you with ease, handing over the money to the seller. He picked up the hair clip and handed it to you to try on, happy to indulge in your wants.

For a moment, you separated your arm from Ghost to put your hair up, loose tendrils naturally falling to frame your face. You let them be as the rest of your hair was fashioned up with the clip. The seller handed you a small mirror to see your reflection. You almost cried when you saw yourself. You never imagined that your bodyguard would buy you such a wonderful gift. “Thank you, Lieutenant Ghost.”

Ghost found his heart skipping a beat as he took in your new appearance. The clip matched your princess personality perfectly. The delicate chains that dangled down pearl and flower beads guided his eyes to the smooth nape of your neck.

The thought that he wanted to kiss that nape crossed his mind.

Clearing his throat, he took your arm again. “It suits you. Wouldn’t look better on anybody else.”

It was hard not to fall even deeper for him when he complimented you like that. Your heart pounded as you walked beside him again, your steps feeling lighter than air. Nothing else at the market caught your eye as his compliment kept echoing in your head, turning your feelings into goo.

As the market neared closing time, the amount of people began to dwindle down. Ghost felt his shoulders fall, feeling more at ease with less people around. Circling back around, he led you back to the produce stalls, wondering what ingredients he should pick up for the safehouse.

The safehouse would be stocked with food, but not with a lot of fresh ingredients. He wanted to continue making this a good day for you with a homemade dinner rather than whatever TV dinners were waiting in the freezer. He wasn’t a chef by any means, having spent most of his life eating MREs and military canteen food. At the very least, he could make you something simple yet good.

Remembering the cheese you seemed to enjoy as a sample and how it was tomato season, Ghost picked out all the necessary ingredients to make homemade tomato soup and grilled cheeses for tonight. You watched him curiously as he picked everything out before something in the distance caught your attention.

“What kind of bread do you like?” He asked you, holding two different loaves of bread in his hands while he considered the options. When he looked to you for an answer though, he could tell that your gaze was trained far into the distance. He turned to look around, trying to find what you were staring at.

In the distance was a person with a dark hoodie and a bandana covering their face. Bright paint brought color to their sleeves and jeans. The figure was walking away, but it was obvious what they were just up to with what was close to him.

“Shit.” Ghost cursed as he pulled out his phone with Captain Price on speed dial.

The other line was picked up quickly. “Lieutenant?”

“Tagger going east on Clover Street. Black hoodie, blue jeans, red bandana, covered in paint.” He informed, his voice low as he kept an eye on the distant figure. He observed how they walked down the street, waiting for them to change directions if they were planning on it.

“Getting a hold of local cameras now. You’re with the princess?” Captain Price inquired, his hands moving fast to find this figure through the city cameras. Finally, he found the person that Ghost described.

“Affirmative.”

“Sending Gaz to pursue. I recommend that you two get to the safehouse pronto. I didn’t think they would be out in broad daylight.” Price advised, already contacting Gaz to give him his new assignment. Once Gaz accepted the orders, the captain hung up. Ghost knew that his captain needed to focus on this immediately, so he wasn’t offended by the sudden hang-up.

He bought the groceries, now in a bit more of a rush. Securing your arm around his once more, he began to lead you back to the car. “Let’s go, Princess. It’s not safe here anymore.”

Your face fell as the day seemed to be ruined by another case of danger. However, there was something that was bothering you. You noticed the paint on the person’s clothes and a strike of color against one of the brick walls he was near. Curiosity was getting the better of you.

“Wait!” You paused, your stance suddenly strong and pulling back from Ghost.

His bold brows rose as you defied him for the first time. Surely you had a good reason to. “What is it? Something wrong?”

You all of a sudden grew a little shy as his intense eyes bored into you, waiting for your explanation. Despite how bashful you grew, you persisted. “I want to see the graffiti they were making. Can we? Please?

“Oh, Princess, it wasn’t a piece of art they were making.” Ghost said knowingly, flashes of the pictures he’d seen crossing his mind. Tags of revolution. War.

“I still want to see. Please, Lieutenant?” You pleaded, trying to follow your instincts as closely as you could.

With the way you looked at him, it was hard to say no. He wasn’t sure if you knew that there were tags around the whole city calling for your head. Probably not since your parents didn’t tell you the truth about your life being in serious danger. But. . . he supposed that you deserved to see them just this one time. This was your country after all. “As long as we’re quick. You have to stay close to me too. Got it?”

You eagerly nodded and latched onto his arm, letting him swiftly guide you to the spots of paint on brick in the distance. As you got closer, you could make out specific shapes and color switches. Getting even closer proved Ghost wrong.

This was art.

You stared in awe at the giant mural before you. A crow with a golden crown in its ebony beak. Feathers wrapped in fire and barbed wire. The crow was about to drop the crown into a pit of hell below it, filled with skulls, demons, hellfire, and sharp blades. Ghost was surprised as well. The pictures he saw depicted small tags here and there of the crows. Here, this was a full blown work of art.

Your free hand drifted up to touch the now colorful bricks. The paint was still a little tacky, but nothing that would stain you. As you looked up, drinking in every detail, Ghost watched you. He was nervous about what you were going to say.

What you did say startled him. “Crows are a symbol of transformations, prophecies, and death.”

“Your mother said the opposite, save for death.”

“For her, death is an inescapable darkness. Evil. In reality, crows can bring fortune during bad times. Death is good fortune since it is a new beginning. This message isn’t a threat. It’s hope.” You concluded, tracing the swooping beak with your fingers. The shadows and highlights made the crow look almost three-dimensional.

Ghost wasn’t sure how to respond. He normally had an answer for any situation, yet what you said stumped him. How could he respond to something so poetically profound?

You did give him something new to look into though. He would find the time to talk to his team about it later. For now, he had to finally take you to the safe house. “Come on, we gotta get moving.”

The drive through the countryside was long and soothing. Ghost took control of the music once you began to doze off. Something light at a low volume was played so you could continue sleeping peacefully. You had a long day out. You probably burned a lot more energy than what you were used to as well.

Once the car hit the dirt road, you stirred awake. The stars were beginning to come out, having driven for hours. You were surrounded by endless fields of local wildflowers with only the occasional tree. While you did love the looks of the city, there was something to love about the countryside too. The land that felt infinite made you feel like you could do anything. You were eager to see what the land looked like during a beautiful sunrise.

Soon, the car pulled up at a rustic cottage with a large shed beside it. Ghost stepped out of the car for a second to open it up, turning it into a garage that would just barely fit the vehicle. Once the car was parked, you were led into the house.

A thin layer of dust hung in the air along with the fresh scent of nearby wildflowers. The cottage contained the essentials as far as you could tell. A living room, a kitchen, two bathrooms, and two bedrooms. Generically decorated, yet cozy compared to the sterile fanciness of the palace.

Ghost brought the luggage in, setting yours in the bedroom of your choosing. He gave you some time to unpack and settle in while he got started on dinner.

As you placed some of your clothes in one of the empty dressers, the fact that you would be living with your bodyguard for who knew how long began to hit you. Your heart picked up speed along with your breath. Not that you expected anything to happen or develop between the two of you, a part of you still had a sense of hope that your relationship would grow stronger at the very least.

Before heading back out towards the kitchen, you caught your reflection in a bedroom mirror. The hair clip was still fastened to your hair, giving you butterflies. It was still hard to believe that he had bought you a gift so easily like it costed him nothing. You could’ve sworn that he seemed a little stunned when it was in your hair too. In a good way.

Ghost was a gentleman. He was just being kind. He wouldn’t do anything that could be considered unprofessional or unfriendly.

Bodyguard protecting a princess. That’s all your relationship will ever be. Right?

Tag List: @angel-anna @ghostlythots @maiyatheprettiestprincess @cum-tea-and-towels @littleghostbride @meowzerzstuff @izziyuwh @literaturewh0r3things @bi-witch-bxtch @victoriareadsbooks

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queenshelby · 8 months

Text

Auctioned (P. 4)

Pairing: Dom! Thomas Shelby x Virgin! Reader

Warning: SMUT!

The night of nights had finally come and you stood nervously in your lavish bedroom of Arrow House, the place you now called home. It was all so overwhelming - the grandeur, the opulence, and the weight of the responsibility that came with being in the service of Thomas Shelby, the infamous leader of the Peaky Blinders.

Tonight, was the night you would be losing your innocence to this man, and with this on your mind, you were startled when, suddenly, the door creaked open, and Alison sauntered in with a knowing smirk. She had been tasked with preparing you for your first time, and you couldn't help but feel a mix of anxiety and curiosity.

"Alright, darling, let's get you ready," Alison said, her voice filled with a mixture of sympathy and matter-of-factness. "We'll start with a bath. It's important to be clean and presentable for what's to come."

As you undressed, Alison filled the large, marble bathtub with warm water, fragrant oils, and rose petals. The room was filled with an intoxicating scent as you stepped into the water, feeling a strange mix of comfort and apprehension.

"I know this is all new to you, and it won't be easy, my dear. Thomas is a man who knows what he wants, and he takes it without remorse,” Alison said, handing you a soft sponge. "But trust me, whilst Thomas Shelby may be rough around the edges, he does have an eye for innocence. He is a complex man. But he's also passionate and caring, in his own twisted way, and you may even enjoy yourself."

You nodded, your heart pounding in your chest, unsure of what lay ahead.

And then, you tilted your head, curiosity getting the better of your fear. "What is it that he sees in me you think? I am sure he could have money women for free,” you wondered as Alison's eyes sparkled mischievously.

"He sees a vulnerability that he can't resist. A purity that he longs to corrupt,” she determined as she gently washed your body, guiding your hesitant hands along your curves.

"Remember, he likes to be in control. Don't resist him," Alison said, her voice filled with a hint of warning. "You're here to please him. Understood?"

You nodded again, the weight of the situation sinking in. The thought of pleasing Thomas Shelby felt both terrifying and strangely exciting.

Once the bath was over, Alison helped you out and wrapped you in a fluffy towel. She sat you down on a plush velvet chair and moved to a nearby vanity, where she laid out an array of cosmetics.

"Now, my dear, let's talk about what to expect," Alison said, her voice tinged with a mix of anticipation and compassion. "It may hurt, and there may be some blood since it is your first time. It's perfectly normal, love. Thomas won't be fazed by it, and neither should you."

You bit your lip, your anxiety swirling like a storm inside you. You hadn't anticipated the reality of the situation being so raw and gritty. But you were committed, having agreed to Thomas Shelby's terms.

Alison then handed you a small bottle of painkillers, a stark reminder that this encounter would not be without its consequences. "Take these before you go to him. They will help with any discomfort you may feel afterwards. You can thank me later," she smirked as your trembling hand took the vial, the tiny capsules, a stark reminder of the pain that awaited you.

Numbly, you accepted the painkillers, but your mind was filled with a flurry of thoughts. Was this really what you had signed up for? Was it worth it?

Sensing your doubt, Alison leaned in closer, her voice low and gentle. "Honey, I won't sugarcoat it. Thomas has tastes that may seem unconventional to you. But you must do as you're told and please him, in return of which he will look after you,” she explained.

Her words offered a small glimmer of reassurance, but deep down, you couldn't shake the nerves and uncertainty that clung to you like a heavy fog.

Alison stood up and retrieved a beautifully embroidered silk robe from the wardrobe. She helped you slip it on, tying the delicate sash with a practised touch.

"Now that you're ready, my dear, let's talk about what Thomas expects from you," Alison said, her tone shifting to a more direct and business-like demeanour.

You leaned in, hanging on her every word, desperate to understand your role in this twisted dance of power and desire.

"Thomas likes it when you're attentive and when you anticipate his needs," Alison explained, her voice laced with a hint of admiration. "He's a dominant man, and he expects you to submit to his commands. You already had some practice this week, and I doubt that he would go as far as he usually does with me. That will happen in due course” Alison explained and, again, you nodded while fidgeting with the sash of the robe, trying to come to terms with the contradictory nature of Thomas Shelby. A man of darkness and light, capable of both cruelty and compassion.

"Now, let's talk about clean-up," Alison continued, a hint of mischief glinting in her eyes.

"To avoid any unwanted consequences, you'll want to take some precautions after your encounter," Alison told you and her tone held a hint of macabre humor, as if she were discussing the mundane rather than the grotesque.

She took you to a small room adjoining the chamber, where supplies awaited. Bottles of antiseptics, cotton swabs, and instructions that felt more like warnings. It was a ritual you must perform after every encounter with Thomas.

"You'll need to be thorough," she explained, her fingers gently demonstrating the motions. "Cleanse yourself of his touch, his seed. We can't afford any slip-ups, my dear."

The realisation of what she meant hit you like a punch to the gut. The thought that this encounter could lead to something more permanent than just a night of submission and pain hadn't crossed your mind until now.

"But what if I'm..." you whispered, your voice barely audible. "What if I'm with child?"

Alison's eyes softened for a moment, a glimmer of empathy breaking through the walls she had built around herself. "Then you'll do what you must. But let's hope it doesn't come to that."

The words hung in the air, the weight of the unsaid echoing in the silence. You knew what she meant - the desperate measures that would need to be taken if you were to avoid the consequences of bringing a Shelby child into this world.

"Now, love, I've taught you all I can for tonight but if you need anything, if there's anything you're unsure of, don't hesitate to come to me. I'm here for you,” Alison finally told you before leaving you to your own devices.

Gratitude welled up within you as a small smile tugged at the corners of your trembling lips. In this dark world, you had found an ally, someone who understood the intricacies and dangers that lay ahead.

You took a deep breath, drawing upon the newfound strength that Alison's words had instilled in you. Ready or not, you were about to face Thomas Shelby, the enigmatic and dangerous man who held your fate in his hands.

***

The hallway outside the bedroom was dimly lit, its worn carpet muffling the sounds of your anxious footsteps. As the door to Thomas' bedroom came into view, your heart began to race, pounding in your chest like a drum.

You hesitantly pushed open the door and stepped inside, feeling the weight of his gaze immediately upon you. The atmosphere in the room was heavy, suffused with his dominant presence. Each step closer to him felt like walking to the edge of a precipice, unsure of what lay below.

Thomas Shelby, the formidable leader of the Peaky Blinders, sat on a luxurious armchair near the fireplace, a cigarette hanging loosely from his lips. His intense gaze locked onto you, causing a shiver to cascade down your spine. "Ten thousand pounds, eh," he quipped, his voice laced with arrogance.

You swallowed hard, your voice barely above a whisper. "I hope you won’t regret it, Mr. Shelby," Your eyes darted around the room, unable to meet his piercing gaze. The nervousness in your voice was palpable.

Thomas then stood up and circled you, his eyes tracing every contour of your body, his gaze filled with undisguised hunger. "I won’t," he then said, before making his first command.

“Now undress,” he commanded, his voice leaving no room for disobedience. With trembling hands, you began to peel away the layers of protective silk, feeling a blush creep up your cheeks as your vulnerability became more exposed with each passing second.

“Show yourself to me, Love. Show me your innocent body,” he then cued and your heart skipped a beat as Thomas' words infiltrated your mind.

The contrast of light against shadow, innocence against raw power - it captivated you and frightened you all at once. Thomas moved closer, breathing in your delicate scent, his fingertips grazing the fabric of the robe that still hugged your trembling form. He leaned down, his voice seductive and filled with authority.

"Remember, Love, you are mine tonight. Every thought, every breath, every moan belongs to me. You are my property,” he told you as his gaze roamed over your trembling form, his lips curling up into a satisfied smirk.

You nodded, your voice failing you once again. You were but a canvas, ready to be painted with the brushstrokes of Thomas Shelby's desires. Slowly, Thomas stepped back, his eyes locked on yours as he began to strip away his tailored suit. The muscles of his chest and abdomen rippled with each movement, revealing a powerful physique that left you breathless. The air in the room crackled with a potent mix of anticipation and apprehension. There was a dance happening, an intricate choreography that only Thomas knew the steps to.

"Come closer," Thomas commanded, his voice soft but commanding and you took a hesitant step forward, the floor cool against the soles of your feet, your heartbeat hammering in your ears.

In that moment, the line between fear and desire blurred, and you knew you were at the mercy of a man who thrived on both. He circled you like a predator stalking its prey, his fingers grazing the soft skin of your exposed neck. A shiver ran down your spine, your body instinctively seeking the warmth and safety of his touch.

"Your sister wasn't wrong, eh," Thomas mused, his voice laced with a hint of amusement. "There is a certain innocence about you, a vulnerability that intrigues me. It's rare in this world."

“My sister?” you asked, trembling, as you dared to look into his eyes, searching for any cracks in the façade. But all you found was an enigmatic intensity, a fire that consumed everything in its path.

“Your sister was the one who suggested that I attend the auction which I, may add, I considered to be somewhat distasteful,” Thomas pointed out and, whilst you had so many questions now, you knew that they all would have to wait when Thomas leaned in, his lips brushing gently against your ear as he whispered, sending delicious waves of electricity through your entire being. "But, enough of that now. Tonight, I will show you what it means to be mine and you will submit to me, completely," Tommy said and, with that, Thomas took your hand and led you towards the bed.

The soft sheets cradled your weight as he gently pushed you onto the mattress, his dominance like a spell that held you captive. His touch was electrifying, searing your skin as his hands roamed every inch of your trembling body. Each caress, each brush of his fingertips, sent quivers of anticipation through your core.

"Do you trust me, Love?" Thomas asked, his voice dripping with a mix of lust and possession. It was a question that held more weight than mere words could convey. You looked deep into his eyes, seeing the raw vulnerability that lay hidden beneath the layers of darkness.

"Yes," you whispered, your voice barely audible. "I trust you." A fierce fire ignited within Thomas' gaze, his control slipping for a moment as he passionately claimed your lips, his kiss a mixture of tenderness and hunger. It was a whirlwind that consumed you, making you lose all sense of time and space.

Every touch of his lips, every stroke of his fingers, made you forget about everything else except his commanding presence. He expertly navigated your body with the view of getting you ready for the inevitable.

"Spread your legs, Love. Let me see how wet you are," Tommy commanded, his voice low and husky. Your heart hammered in your chest as you followed his instruction, your breath coming in short gasps.

"You are fucking soaking, eh," he determined, his finger stroking your inner thigh. "You really want me to fuck that virgin hole of yours, don't you Love?" he then asked with a devilish grin. Your face flushed red, your eyes fixed on the ceiling, unable to meet his gaze. The thought of giving yourself to him, of surrendering yourself completely, both terrified and excited you.

He pulled you closer, his large hands tracing gentle circles across your back.

"I can see it in your eyes, you want this," he murmured, his breath tickling your ear. Your heart hammered wildly in your chest, and you could feel the heat radiating off his body as you pressed against him.

"I do, Mr. Shelby," you gasped nervously as he slid his hands along your hips, guiding you to straddle him. "But I am scared that it will hurt," you then admitted as your body shook slightly, fear and excitement coursing through you as you felt his fingers teasingly brush against your entrance.

"Don't worry, love," he whispered into your ear, his deep voice a soothing balm to your racing thoughts. "It will hurt, but only for a little bit. I won't fuck you until I make sure that you are ready," he assured you before beginning to trail kisses down your body.

"I will use my tongue on you first, sweetheart. Just like last night, eh" Tommy determined, his eyes burning with intensity. Your heart raced at the thought of what he meant, and the thought made you even more aroused. You nodded, unable to speak due to the throbbing pulse between your legs and Tommy smiled knowingly, adoring your shyness.

As he slowly lowered himself to your level, his gaze fixated on yours, ensuring you were comfortable with every move he made. His hands caressed your hips and thighs, easing any discomfort that might arise from his actions.

Thomas's lips brushed gently against your sensitive skin, trailing tender kisses along your neck and shoulders. "Trust me, Love," he whispered, his breath hot against your ear. As you allowed yourself to melt into his embrace, you couldn't help but acknowledge the intoxicating sensation that overtook you with each deliberate stroke of his fingers, each soft press of his lips.

Eventually, then, he reached your glistening core and started circling it with his tongue, eliciting soft moans from you as he explored every inch of your nether regions.

Gently, he lifted your leg, spreading you wider with his firm hands, taking full advantage of your submission. You gasped as he probed deeper, teasing your tightness with his tongue, drawing tiny circles around your entrance.

"Fuck, you taste amazing," Tommy groaned, his voice thick with desire. He continued to torment you, pushing you further and further along the edge of ecstasy. With each flick of his tongue, your body seemed to writhe with uncontrollable pleasure.

"Please, Mr. Shelby..." you begged, your voice hoarse from the intensity of your arousal.

Tommy smiled, knowing he had you exactly where he wanted you. He continued to torture you with his skilled mouth, pushing you to the precipice of orgasm.

You squirmed underneath him, trying to find some sort of release. The tension built up inside you, reaching almost unbearable levels.

Your breath caught in your throat as you felt the pressure growing stronger. "Tommy!" you cried out, your body shuddering violently. "Tommy, please! I need..." You didn't get to finish your sentence, as he shifted his position and smiled.

"No, Love. I won't let you cum until I fucked you thoroughly with my cock," Tommy smiled, unbothered by the fact that you had just dropped the formalities and called him by his first name.

The way he said it, so matter-of-factly, made you realize how much power he held over you, your body. It was an erotic thrill, the thought of being taken by him, of surrendering your body fully to his demands.

"Now, get on to all fours for me Love. It is time!" Tommy ordered, causing you to swallow hard, thinking that this position in particular would be more uncomfortable than you had anticipated.

Nevertheless, you complied, getting onto all fours, presenting your backside to him. You heard the rustle of the sheets behind you, as Tommy undressed, tossing the remainder of his clothes carelessly aside. His powerful presence filled the room, leaving no doubt as to whose domain it truly was.

Your breath hitched as he came up behind you, his hands resting lightly on your hips. He took his time, running his fingers lightly over your body, leaving trails of goosebumps in their wake.

The anticipation was almost unbearable, and yet you couldn't bring yourself to ask him to hurry.

"Are you ready for my cock, Love?" he asked, his voice laced with authority. Your heart pounded faster, the thought of him filling you, bringing not only terror but also a strange sense of exhilaration.

"Yes," you managed to utter, feeling a flush of pride at your own boldness. "I am ready, Mr. Shelby." Your words carried a newfound confidence, a sense of control that had been missing earlier.

Tommy smiled, pleased by your bravery. He leaned down, pressing a kiss to your shoulder blade. "Good," he whispered.

"I expect you to take it like a good girl, eh? And I want you to hold nice and still when I fill you," Tommy told you and you could hear the excitement in his voice, a fervour that mirrored your own. He lubricated his fingers, preparing himself for the task ahead. Gently, he pressed a single digit into your entrance, causing you to gasp and clench involuntarily. Slowly, he worked another finger inside of you, stretching you incrementally, building up to what was about to happen next.

"Relax, Love," he instructed gently, his fingers working rhythmically in and out of you. "Let yourself feel the pleasure I'm going to give you." Your breathing became increasingly erratic, your entire focus narrowed to the point where you could only concentrate on his touch.

But, just before you could cum, Tommy removed his fingers and replaced them with his thick cock, which now pushed against your entrance.

"I am going to push in now," Tommy warned you and your eyes widened, your body trembling with anticipation and fear. But there was also a sense of triumph, as if conquering something deeply personal, something that made you feel both vulnerable and powerful at the same time.

You braced yourself, tensing as he began to push into you while you held on to one of the pillows.

"It hurts," you cried out while Tommy watched as his thick length pushed past your pussy lips as he forced another inch into you.

"It's okay, Love. Breathe through it," he murmured, gripping your hips tightly. He knew that you were new to this, that it wouldn't come naturally to you. But you had to learn, you had to adapt.

You gritted your teeth, tears stinging your eyes, feeling the pain sear through your body.

"You are doing well. I am halfway in," Tommy told you as, eventually, he could feel your barrier. Your body tensed even more, but he kept pushing, gradually forcing your virgin walls to yield to his advance.

"This is your first time," he said, his voice full of admiration. "And I will be the one to claim your innocence, eh," Tommy groaned as, with a final forceful thrust, he was entirely sheathed within you, filling you completely.

"Fuck, you are tight," you then heard Tommy curse as you felt a warm kind of liquid tickle down your inner thighs, which you knew may have been blood as Alison had warned you to be the case.

Your body was on fire, and it was only now that you realized the true extent of the physical impact of what had just occurred.

"You are not so innocent anymore," Tommy groaned before slowly beginning to thrust in and out of you and you closed your eyes, trying to ignore the pain.

Your body ached everywhere, yet a strange kind of pleasure mixed with the pain coursed through you.

"Now tell me Love, who do you belong to?" Tommy asked, his voice gruff with desire. You couldn't believe you were really having this conversation, yet somehow, the heat of his body against yours and the ache inside you caused by his cock, made you believe it was real.

"I belong to you, Mr. Shelby," you replied, your voice shaking slightly. Despite the immense pain, your response was met with a smile of approval from Tommy.

He pulled out slightly, allowing you a moment to catch your breath, before plunging back in, harder this time.

"That's right Love. You belong to me," he groaned as he picked up the pace, thrusting into you harder and faster. Your body was starting to adjust to the intrusion, and despite the pain, a deep and powerful wave of pleasure washed over you with each thrust. The rhythmic slap of his hips against yours filled the room, drowning out everything else.

You bit your lip, trying to maintain composure as you clung desperately to the pillow, your nails digging into the fabric. You could feel yourself getting closer to the edge, but you weren't quite there yet.

Just as you were about to reach the peak, Tommy suddenly stopped, pulling out of you with a grunt.

"What are you doing?" you cried out, frustrated and disoriented by the sudden change.

"Shhh, Love," he whispered, placing a finger on your lips. "Just trust me." His intense gaze held yours, making it difficult for you to resist him. You nodded hesitantly, unsure of what he had planned.

Without warning, Tommy scooped you up in his arms, carrying you effortlessly across the room.

You gasped in surprise, wondering what was happening.

"Where are we going?" you asked nervously, unable to hide your apprehension.

"Trust me, Love," Tommy reassured you with a gentle smile. "You'll see."

As he reached the window, he carefully lowered you onto the ledge, standing close enough to support you if needed. Together, you looked out over the land surrounding Arrow House, the moonlight casting a silver glow upon the landscape below as well as the streets of Birmingham, far in the distance.

"Do you see this?" he asked, gesturing toward the breathtaking view. "This is mine. All of it. Everything you see here, belongs to me." He paused, turning to face you with a look of determination in his eyes. "You too, belong to me. You are my fucking property and I want you to remember that every time you look at these streets, these buildings, everything that makes up this empire."

A cold chill ran down your spine, understanding the weight of his words. You were nothing more than a possession, belonging to him like any other material thing he owned.

The thought of being considered as valuable as the buildings below filled you with both anger and shame. You wanted to argue, to protest, but you couldn't deny the truth in his words.

"Now bend down, Love. I want to fuck you some more," Tommy growled, his voice low and commanding. Feeling the power in his words, you bent over the ledge, presenting yourself to him once again. He grabbed your hips firmly, positioning you perfectly. The wind gently brushed against your skin, chilling you to the core, but it didn't stop you from obeying him.

"That's it, good girl," he cooed as he lined himself up with your sore entrance again.

You felt the familiar burning sensation as he entered you once more, your muscles struggling to relax around his sizeable member.

"Remember, you belong to me, and I can do whatever I want with you," Tommy reminded you as he started to thrust into you.

Your cheeks flushed red as you felt a mixture of humiliation and arousal at his words.

You bit your lip hard, trying to focus on anything but the sensation of him sliding in and out of you.

With every thrust, you could feel him claiming you, marking you as his own. The intensity of his grip on your hips left no doubt about the strength of his dominance over you. It was as though he was branding you with his touch, leaving an indelible mark that would forever be a part of you.

"Come on, Love," he urged, his voice rough with passion.

"Take me deeper." You obeyed instinctively, burying your nails into his shoulders, holding onto him for dear life. The pleasure-pain combination was reaching new heights, making you realize how unprepared you were for this intense experience.

As the tempo increased, the wind howled, matching the frenzy of your own cries. The air turned colder, sending shivers through your body, only making you crave more of his touch.

"You are making a mess all over the floor Love," Tommy groaned playfully, his grip on your hips tightening.

"I am sorry," you managed to utter, barely able to form the words due to the intensity of the sensations coursing through you.

"No apologies," he snapped, a dark gleam in his eye. "You enjoy it, don't you? Letting yourself go, feeling the sensations washing over you."

"Yes," you moaned, finding yourself helplessly lost in the moment.

"Good girl," he praised, his thrusts becoming even more forceful.

"Keep looking out, let it remind you whose property you truly are." You obeyed, feeling your resolve waver under the intensity of his touch. The cold wind whipped against your skin, adding another layer of discomfort to your situation. Yet, the pain seemed to amplify the exquisite pleasure coursing through your body.

His grip on your hips tightened as he continued to move in and out of you, the rhythm matching the beat of your heart.

Your cries became louder, mingling with the wind and echoing through the silent corridors of Arrow House. As your body trembled from the intense sensations, you tried to suppress the growing fear that overwhelmed you. How could you possibly give yourself fully to such a man without losing yourself in the process?

With each thrust, you felt your connection to Thomas deepen, your vulnerability exposed, and your independence diminished. You found yourself struggling to reconcile the reality of your situation with the idealized image of love and devotion you had envisioned for yourself.

"Do you want to cum?" Tommy eventually asked, seeing that you could not take too much more of this.

You nodded vigorously, eager to release the pent-up tension coursing through your body.

He continued to thrust into you at a faster pace, his breath coming in short, ragged gasps. You felt a building pressure within you, an uncontrollable need to explode.

"Cum for me, Love," he commanded, his grip on your hips tightening further.

Your orgasm crashed over you like a tidal wave, engulfing you in a wave of pleasure unlike anything you had ever experienced before.

Your entire body shook with the intensity of it, your grip on the ledge tightening almost painfully.

"So good, isn't it?" Tommy asked, his eyes burning with pride. You couldn't find the words to answer him, still reeling from the aftershocks of your climax as he sped up again, finding his very own release.

Sweat dripped down your forehead, mingling with the tears that stained your cheeks. The cold wind whipped against your heated skin, adding another layer of discomfort to your situation. Yet, the pain seemed to amplify the exquisite pleasure coursing through your body.

"Almost there Love. I am going to cum in this virgin cunt of yours, eh" Tommy groaned loudly, the sound filling the quietness of the night as your orgasm subsided and you felt increasingly sore.

"You better learn to love this feeling because it's going to become the norm. I will fill your holes with my cum every fucking day from now on," Tommy howled as he thrusted into you harder and you tried to catch your breath as you struggled to understand the extent of your submission to him.

His harsh, possessive tone only served to make you tremble in fear and arousal simultaneously. You knew then that there was no escape from this life, no way to break free from his grasp.

"Y/N," he growled, pounding into you with renewed ferocity. "Your body belongs to me. Your pleasures are mine to control. Do you understand?"

Swallowing thickly, you nodded reluctantly, your throat raw from earlier cries. "Yes," you whispered, barely audible even to yourself.

"Good girl," he praised, his thrusts becoming even more forceful as your cries became louder, mingling with the wind and echoing through the silent corridors of Arrow House.

"Now, hold nice and still for me, eh" Tommy groaned, pulsating inside of you, and filling you with his warm seed.

"Fuck," Tommy groaned, pumping himself into you until he finally shot his entire load into you.

His body convulsed in ecstasy, and you felt the hot stickiness of his semen pouring into you, mixing with your very own wetness and the blood from your torn innocence until, eventually, he pulled out of your sore pussy.

"Look at that Love. Look at you leaking my cum," Tommy cooed, forcing you to turn around and making you look down at your soiled body, stained with his seed and the evidence of your lost virginity.

"It's going to happen a lot more often now, eh?" Tommy smirked while your body was still trembling from the force of your orgasm.

"Yes Mr. Shelby. I will be at your service whenever you need," you said, your voice wavering slightly as you regained your composure. You looked away, unable to meet his gaze as you processed the implications of his last statement.

"Good girl," he said, the praise laced with his characteristic blend of authority and desire. He placed a gentle hand on your shoulder, causing you to flinch involuntarily. His eyes flashed with a mix of tenderness and menace, his expression conveying the complexity of his feelings towards you.

You took a deep breath, trying to regain your bearings after the intense encounter.

You stared at the mess you had made on the floor, feeling a strange mixture of shame and excitement. You glanced back at Thomas, who stood proudly watching you with a satisfied grin on his face. Your heart raced as you began to comprehend the true extent of your predicament – you were now owned by him, bound to fulfill his desires whenever he wished.

As you stood there, the wind whipping around you, you realized just how far you had come from the innocent young woman you once were.

"Now, you should get cleaned up Love. I am sure Alison explained the procedure to you?" Tommy asked casually, breaking the silence that had fallen upon you both.

"Yes, she did. She said it is to avoid pregnancy," you answered, feeling a sudden surge of panic at the thought of getting pregnant.

"Correct, so I will leave you to it, eh?" Tommy smiled, his fingers brushing against your cheek affectionately.

"Thank you, Mr. Shelby," you replied, attempting to mask your anxiety behind a veil of gratitude.

He gave you a slight nod before turning and walking towards the door, leaving you alone to process the events of the evening.

Standing there, you found yourself surrounded by the evidence of your defilement - the sweaty sheets tangled around your legs, the faint scent of sex in the air, and the knowledge that your innocence was irreparably shattered. Tears streamed down your cheeks as you thought about the future that lay ahead of you.

Even though you had been warned about what might happen, experiencing it firsthand left you reeling.

Your entire body ached from the intense physical exertion, yet your mind still buzzed with the aftermath of your loss of innocence. The cold draft of the night seeped through the open window, chilling your naked skin and reminding you of the vulnerability you felt.

This was your life now and, for some twisted reason, you already enjoyed it.

Tag List Insert

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#cillian murphy #cillian murphy smut #cillian x reader #cillian murphy x y/n #cillian murphy x you #cillian murphy imagine #tommy shelby #peaky blinders #tommy shelby x reader #thomas shelby smut #thomas shelby fanfic #thomas shelby x reader #thomas shelby #cillian murphy x reader #tommy shelby smut #thomas shelby imagine #peaky blinders fanfic #peaky blinders fanfiction #peaky blinder

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nelkcats · 10 months

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Not everything is what it seems

When Young Justice found Superboy, the heroes began to think, were there other similar places? Were there more cloned heroes? How had it all started?

So they investigated, there wasn't much to salvage from the destroyed place but they managed to trace the plans of the cloning pods to an abandoned mansion in Wisconsin. It appeared to be normal at first glance, although no one had set foot there in a while, that was until they got to the basement.

The basement was a mess, one side was destroyed as if something had exploded, on the other side were notes, capsules and DNA samples, though these were clearly useless, if the files could be trusted. It appeared to be old research, all of this was addressed at the weekly League meeting.

The worst part of it all was learning that the sample did not belong to any of them; what might have seemed like relief turned into torture when they discovered the existence of a "hero" in the past, a young hero who had acted before them all, and about whom no one knew anything. Another concern was a possible clone of said hero on the loose, though they didn't know how to address either issue.

Bruce couldn't get out of his head the image of a scared kid, out there without any support, fighting an evil version of himself. The League's priority was to find that boy immediately, and see if his clone was still active. They had to do something about it.

Most of them ignored Captain Marvel's advice to leave the matter alone, as it had been a long time and they didn't know the current circumstances.

At Amity Park, Danny felt a chill, he had a bad feeling. He decided to ignore it as he continued to scold Dan and Dani for using their powers irresponsibly, he knew the citizens of Amity wouldn't care, but the rest of the world would. Danny feared the world wasn't ready for them.

It really was hard being a single parent, although it didn't bother him, after the initial awkwardness everyone had adjusted and were quite happy.

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lessirussoss · 11 months

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georgia stanway as your girlfriend

• physical touch. lingering touches when standing next to one another, pinky’s intertwined when around those who aren’t completely familiar with the two of you. you aren’t massive on pda but there’s always a hand on your hip or an arm wrapped around georgia’s bicep.

• MATCHING OUTFITS. but not the cringy ones that are like exactly the same but matching colours or coordinating ones and the same shoes. everyone loves it too, but georgia’s never the one choosing, you always choose the colours or the shoes and it’s known that it works like that too.

• always posting eachother, but like off guard pictures always of them when looking away or pictures of you two that teammates and friends took of you during a conversation or a quiet moment between the two of you.

• no one would ever pin georgia as a jealous person before she got with you. her jealousy wasn’t overly possessive but protective in the best way possible. her eyes were always on you, ready to confront anyone who’s eyes were wondering for too long.

• definitely a few tattoos of georgia’s that are dedicated to you, small moments capsulated in a doodle, nights in your city whenever she comes to visit, small trips with just you two and so many more memories are sprinkled over her torso.

• she LOVES when you do her hair, although most of the time her hair’s only in a ponytail or left hanging over her shoulders, she lives for the quiet moments between the two of you while laying in bed after a hectic day out.

• she knows you like the back of her hand, always knowing what to order you at a restaurant if your running a bit late and whenever friends or family ask what to get you for christmas or your birthday she always has the perfect answer.

• you are a main part of her game day rituals, if you play together you’ll do your hair the same while in the changing rooms, if you play separately or don’t play at all you’ll send her a message of encouragement that she’ll read before getting herself ready for the pre match rituals.

• for night outs you’ll get ready in your shared bathroom with music blaring and pre drinks already half empty. you’d always be the last one ready so as she’s waiting she’d stand behind you with arms around your waist admiring your unready state.

• CAFE DATES!! every time you go to a new town or city you have to have at least one date in a new cafe. you’ll always get a tea and georgia will forever be getting a hot chocolate, you always end up sharing a muffin of some sort (probably chocolate) because that’s what she always insists upon buying.

#woso x reader #woso #woso community #woso fanfics #woso imagine #woso masterlist #woso one shot #woso soccer #georgia stanway #i don’t know why i decided to post this now but oh well have this ig #lots of love

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captainmalewriter · 9 months

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Hello there Mr, crazy day it seems. You won't believe this, i was out lost in the woods from my buddies, one of them is getting married and just HAD to have his stag-do as a long no contact nature trip in the Romanian wilderness. Took a few steps off the path to take a leak and before i realize, they were all gone and i was lost. Saw a shiny thing in a clearning a while after, thinking they made camp, but turns out there was only this odd green prizeball someone left behind....wonder what's inside, might be fun to pass the time until i'm found..........

Congratulations, you found my missing green capsule! Here's what happened when you found it...

You zipped up your pants after taking a much needed piss and returned back to the trail you and your buddies had been hiking through. You looked around for your buddies but didn't see any of them. You were certain that you told them that you needed to take a leak before wandering off the main path. You scanned your surroundings once more but still saw no one. It was odd to say the least, but you decided to shake it off and just continue hiking up the path. You figured you'd run into them eventually if you just picked up the pace a bit.

Although you were initially annoyed that your friends left you behind, annoyance soon turned into worry as more time went on. You were getting deeper and deeper into the woods but without any sight of another person! Suddenly, the idea of a zero contact nature trip in the wilderness went from being just bad to outright terrible...

You sped up your walking pace again to a brisk jog. As you walked, a bright light flashed across your face for a brief second. You shielded your eyes from the sudden light as it nearly blinded you. You stopped momentarily but resumed when an idea hit you. You remembered that instead of sleeping in the cabin that night like usual, everyone had decided to pack camping gear for a night outside. You looked up ahead the hiking trail and noticed that there was a clearing not too far off.

With that in mind, you ran towards the clearing. You ran with the hope that you'd find your friends setting up camp, but unfortunately, you were met with nothing but an open field of grass. You looked around and surely enough, nobody was there except for you. You sighed, then continued walking along the trail. However, you stopped when a glint caught your eye. You looked down and spotted a green capsule resting on top of a flat boulder. You then pieced together that it must have been the capsule that caused that blinding light. The capsule was sitting directly in the sunlight. It had a metallic sheen to it, which made any sunlight reflect off of it.

You had planned to just ignore it and keep walking, but a little voice inside your head told you to open it first. You couldn't think of a reason why you shouldn't open it and decided to give into the impulse. You bent over, picked up the capsule, and popped it open. Resting inside was something you never expected to see inside a children's prize ball: a joint. The dank smell of weed quickly filled your nose, causing you to slightly recoil due to you not expecting it. You were off put by the idea of finding a ready to smoke blunt just sitting deep in the heart of the forest. You scanned your surroundings again. You thought some undercover police must've planted it here to catch someone red-handed, but nobody was around.

Your wristwatch chirped. The sun was due to set soon, which meant that it wouldn't be long until you were by yourself in a dark forest with no idea where anyone was. You shuddered at the thought. You then looked back at the blunt sitting inside the capsule. You were no stranger to smoking, but smoking a random joint did not seem like the best idea in the world. However, against your better judgment, you decided you needed some stress relief and said fuck it!

You took out the blunt. It was the most perfectly rolled blunt you had ever seen in your life! Then suddenly, the end of the blunt ignited by itself. You held it away from your face, but the potent smell of weed filled the air with its intoxicating aroma. You took a sniff; you knew from the smell alone that this was some grade A weed you were holding. Not able to hold back anymore, you helped yourself to a hit. You took a quick inhale and puffed out a breath of smoke. One hit alone was enough to start the high. You immediately felt better as your worries seemingly melted away with every hit of the magic blunt you took.

It was the best damn weed you’ve ever had in your life. Each hit took you further to the moon. You alternated between deep, slow hits and quick, rapid-fire hits. While you were getting high, the magic embedded within the blunt began taking effect on you. Your body began transforming with every exhale of smoke you let out. You felt your face begin to stretch and change. You felt pricks poking all around your face; your facial hair receded and grew in until the changes settled in, giving you a new goatee. The prick pains were stronger on your eyebrow, nose, nipples, and earlobes; almost as if holes were opening on your body. Despite the pain, the high you had going made the body transformation pleasurable, causing you to moan as it continued on.

In between hits, you ran your finger along your new jawline and played with the silver piercings you now possessed. The pricks then moved onto your body. As you continued smoking the magic blunt, ink began forming all around your body. Although you already had a couple of small tattoos, several larger tattoos appeared on your new body. You noticed the sudden changes in your appearance, but you were too high to really do anything about it. You took your new appearance in stride and continued smoking the magic blunt.

Your body continued transforming. Your body weight seemingly melted away until you were as slim as a twink. Some mass from your former body stayed intact despite you losing body weight overall; though it morphed into muscle, giving you a more of a twunk look to your new body.

Finally, the pièce de résistance— the dank smell of the weed began seeping into your skin. The magic blunt gave you a man’s musk. Your body odor had a mixture of pheromone filled sweat and the natural smell of trees. You took a whiff of your own scent and were immediately intoxicated by it. It was just as addicting as the magic weed but the potent smell now carried a man’s musk along with it too.

By the time you had finished smoking the blunt, you had completely transformed into a typical stoner complete with multiple body tattoos and various piercings. You sighed a heavy breath full of satisfaction; your eyes were red and your head was high in the clouds. Your body tingled with pleasure and relief after going through the transformation. You could feel precum leak into your underwear, your heavy balls hanging low due to how much cum they were carrying. You felt really relaxed thanks to the weed… but now you were in need of a good jerk off session too.

“What the fuck?”

“Huh…?” you heard a familiar voice coming from behind you. You turned around and saw your buddies walking up to you with confused looks on their faces. “Oh, heyyy guys! I’ve been looking all for you…!”

“Looking for us?” your recently engaged friend said. He looked you up and down, then his eyes widened. “Hey, aren’t you— Wait a second, is that weed? Were you smoking? …Yo… That shit smells goooood…”

You smirked. Then, as if on instinct, you reached into the pocket of your new clothes and pulled out several more magic blunts. You handed one to each of your friends and watched with delight as they started smoking them. The sweaty smell of several men began to fill the air, thus marking the beginning of their stoner transformations. You sniffed the air, their musk filling you with a rush of ecstasy. Soon enough, the real stag-do full of bro-ing out in the forest with good weed and mutual circle jerks was about to begin.

Hope you enjoy the new body prize you won from finding my lost capsule!

#male transformation #male body swap #male body switch #stoner tf #magic tf #reality change #tattoos #musk #infection #toy capsule stories

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marymary-diva17 · 8 months

Text

Trouble fitting in

sully family x human daughter reader

It was the next day after arriving at the village of the metakayian, and you could see some of the villagers were keeping their distance from you. That was something you couldn't blame them for as you had just arrived and not that many knew of your existence as well. It was going to take them so time to trust you as navi and trust you as human as well. They will soon learn that the human girl lived up to her family name and title

Norm " so are you kids ready to started lesson today"

y/n " yes uncle norm"

spider " sure dad we are ready for our lessons and learn the ways of water"

Norm " well eat your breakfast kids and once you are done you, can go to your avatar bodies" you and spider soon nodded your heads in agreement and soon finished the breakfast, that was given and soon went inside the capsules and the transfer took place.

y/n " ummm" you soon open your eyes waking up you soon stepped out of the bed. You soon stepped into the common area of the new home, soon seeing your mom making breakfast and you dad cleaning his blade.

neytiri " good morning my daughter how did you sleep last night"

y/n " I slept well as navi and human still getting use to seeing I'm in a new place"

Jake " don't worry baby girl you will get use to this place soon" you soon saw down on the mats, and soon enough your sibling had come dash into the room.

tuk " y/n you are really here I thought lats night was all a dream" tuk soon hugged you making you laugh as you pat her forehead.

y/n " yes I'm here sweetie"

kiri " when you woke up your bed was already empty so we thought you were gone" you were sharing a room with your sisters, kiri and tuk soon took a sit on the mat.

y/n " I didn't mean to worry anyone I just crawled out of bed and came In here for more breakfast"

lo'ak " so you still have to eat as human and navi"

y/n " yes I have to keep both bodies health and well taken care of as well"

lo'ak " oh"

neteyam " see now we can our family meals as whole family again"

y/n " what do you mean you guys were not eating together"

Jake " we were and there were night your grandmother and uncles came over but it was not the same, we missed having you here and as the barrier between siblings fights"

tuk " kiri and lo'ak will always fight"

y/n " really I'm gone for months and you two fight"

kiri " it was not my fault it was his being a idiot and all that" you just scoffed and shake your head, it was good to be back with your siblings. Once breakfast was over you soon went off with your sibling and spider for the lessons.

Tsireya " it good to have you both here I hope we can help you learn the ways of water"

spider " it cool to finally me here"

rotxo " well come on lets get started" soon the lesson had started all three metkayain teens were very amazed on how, well you and spider could I've and swim.

Aonung " you seem to be a better swimmer and diver then your siblings" The group had decided to take a break and sit down somewhere and just talk and relax. It seem like all the metkayian teens had many question about the two new teens that arrived here just yesterday.

y/n " thank you"

rotxo " so you are two are human as well"

spider " yes we are human as well but we were given this body so we can living a life, like the rest of our families"

rotxo " wow" the group had stayed together talking more and more to each other, along with enjoying each other company as well. You were walking around the village, doing some chores for the family. You were carrying a basket of fruit for the family and your grandmother when you caught, some of the metkayian adults looking at you.

y/n " hello" you had spoke towards a couple who stepped away from you and looked disgusted when you spoke to them. This was something that was not new to you as not that many of the navi, were welcoming toward the humans that were here do to the actions of the RDA.

y/n " well here we go again" you soon sighed and started walking back home there were some navi that gave you a smile, while others just looked at you with disgusted or confusion. You were walking when you had accidentally bumped into a child, it seems like either one of you were paying attention.

y/n " oh I'm sorry" you had help the child back onto their feet and soon collect the fruit, that had fallen.

navi child " it okay I'm sorry as well I was not ...."

navi mom " demon you hurt my child" a navi women soon came towards you hissing at you making you, take a step back you didn't want to do anything to cause a problem. A crowd had form to watched what was taking place right now.

???? " what going on here" everyone soon stopped what they were doing and looked up to see tonowair and your dad standing there, soon Jake saw you and went to you aid.

Tonowari " I asked a question what happened here"

navi women " this demon girl pushed my child over and could of harm my child, that what happened this what we get for only the demon of their clan here first the youngest of them and soon the older ones"

navi man " yes they are all evil why should we allow them to stay"

Jake " y/n what happened"

y/n" I was not paying attention to where I was walking soon I and the kid bumped into each other, I meant no harm dad"

tonowair " this what the girl speak true did anyone witness this" no one was peaking up at the moment, as everyone was very quite or scared to say anything.

tonowari " Jake and y/n I'm so sorry for what has happened here today"

Jake " tonowari i will not have my daughter insult over something she ...."

y/n " dad it okay can we just come home I have to drop these off mom and grandmother" Jake knew his daughter didn't wish to cause anymore trouble and nodded his head, soon escorting her home but it seems like him and tonowair and shared a look about something.

At home

neytiri " how dare that women insult my daughter on her character and actions" sharing with what happened to the rest of the family didn't go well, and now your mom was very mad about the whole situation.

Jake " neytiri"

neytiri " no Jake don't try to clam me down I wont let somebody insult our daughter she never harm a child at home, she was the one that some parents will ask her to babysit their kids for a while"

y/n " mom it okay"

lo'ak " no sis it not okay that women insult you and telling us how they been looking at you with disgust is insult as well on you"

y/n " baby brother it okay I can't change everyone mind about me"

lo'ak " but still sis you are amazing you a good fighter and smart, you take care of our family and people how those that make you a demon"

neteyam " lo'ak calm down" lo'ak soon calm down a bit as the family looked at you.

neytiri " what do you do next Jake they didnt juts insults our daughter they also insult spider and the rest of our clan"

Jake " I will speak with tonowari right now tension are high"

y/n " then I think it for the best I stay with uncle norm and the otter for while until matter die down"

kiri " no we can't lose you and spider again"

y/n " I won't be lost I will be an inland away but I think it will be best if I stay away I don't need my action risking the family and clan safety, and refugee"

Jake and neytiri " ......."

y/n " mom and dad I will be fine I'm not far away and I will have uncle norm, aunt trudy, and spider with me with the rest of our clan"

Jake " fine we trust that norm and trudy will keep you safe"

y/n " mom"

neytiri " you can go my daughter I know you will be safe but we will be checking up on you"

y/n " yes mom"

lo'ak" maybe we cna bring our new friends over as well"

Jake " that will be good but you might want to ask their parents first before you act"

y/n and her siblings " yes sir"

neytiri " come we will eat dinner together before y/n has to leave us" everyone had nodded their head in agreement everyone had family dinner together, it was agreed that you and spider will stay away for a few days until everyone die down. Even due you were not being with them as navi you were still with them as human, and they will make sure to still spend time with you. Everyone and even you were hoping that one day you and the rest of the clan will be able to gain the trust of the rest of the metkayain clan.

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iikatsukii · 1 year

Text

illicit love

synopsis: what are the odds of someone confusing you for a world famous scientist, kidnapping you, and sending you to another planet at age 18? apparently it’s very high odds because that’s exactly how you found yourself on pandora.

pairings: lo’ak x femhuman!reader

warnings: mentions of death, mentions of child abandonment, swearing, kidnapping (accidental)

word count: 4,000

a/n: this is gonna be a series... this is only the prologue, please bare with me. ik lo'ak isnt in this part like at all but he will be in the next part i alr writing it.

pt. 2

theodora willisin was grace's apprentice before grace got a location change to pandora. though theodora was sad, grace promised to send back as much intel as possible to keep up with her studies and eventually join grace in exploring pandora one day.

it took theodora 10 years, but by 26, she was on a cryo ship, being sent off to pandora. she didn't have any rda affiliation. she was just a young 16-year-old girl who had admired grace's studies. one day she decided to take all her savings in hopes that she could walk into grace's office and beg on her knees, explaining how she left her whole life behind to become grace's apprentice. grace, of course, loved the enthusiasm and accepted her immediately.

during her time on earth, theodora became a very well-known scientist. she was famous for her studies on the na'vi. she was so well-informed for someone who lived on earth. of course, her studies were only fueled by grace's information. this wasn't a secret, but the girl made groundbreaking discoveries regarding language, fluency, and pronunciation. and don't get me started on her wildlife studies. she and grace could talk about trees when they studied together on earth, and she couldn't wait until she got to pandora to discuss everything new she had learned with grace.

but there was one thing that theodora hated that she had to leave behind. her two-month-old baby. nobody knew she was pregnant except her mother. bless be to eywa that her mom was an obstetrician (a baby-delivering doctor). she hid her pregnancy from the world, and thank god she had a good workout routine and breastfed a lot because that helped her shed all her pregnancy weight just in time for her to be shipped out to pandora. theodora dressed herself in disguise and dropped her baby off in the early morning hours on the steps of her neighborhood firehouse. by the time she got home from abandoning her baby, she had to shower and get ready, so she would get on the ship by her assigned boarding time.

as horrible as theodora felt about this, she tried to look on the bright side. going to pandora to pursue her studies was her dream. she has an avatar growing on pandora, ready for her upon her arrival. she was finally living her dream, and nothing could ruin it.

except something could. the trip to pandora and getting settled had been a success. theodora was living her best life researching, studying, and living on the planet she had spent her entire life studying. unfortunately, when she got here, she was given the heartbreaking news that her boss had been killed in a war that broke out. she was the last and only person to get on that previous cryo capsule. the natives saw the ship in the night and set out to destroy the sky people who dared to land here right after they had sent everyone back.

when they got to the ship, it was empty, but there were traces of human life trailing in the direction of the lab. jake decided to investigate the situation himself. when he arrived, he was met with max and norm, which had a new person with them, and they quickly explained. they said that theodora was merely a scientist who studied under grace when she worked on earth. she had no weapon training, but she dedicated her life to studying the planet, the people, and the culture. theodora posed no threat to the na'vi. she wanted to join their everyday life and help, maybe even become one of the people.

of course, that was wishful thinking because neytiri was very hard on the young scientist. giving the human attitude and throwing threats around as if they were compliments. the young scientist knew this was nothing personal as the na'vi had just gone through a war with sky people, so she never took anything to heart. hadn't gotten to use her avatar yet as she was still gaining the trust of the clan's people. she decided to occupy her time, so she went on walks in the forest to study the trees.

unfortunately, one day she got way too close to a baby thanator that was asleep on its own by a stream. the mother, hunting nearby, caught a whiff of the unusual scent near her cub. one thing led to another, and there was one less human on pandora. but as theodora's life flashed before her eyes, she couldn't find it in herself to care because she could only think about her daughter. the one who she abandoned and didn't even give a chance at a happy childhood. she remembered the letter she had written and left with her baby. she wished she had written more. she wished she had written about how she was ticklish and an adorable baby. she wished she had written about how she was easy to care for. she wished she had written about how she never cried. she can wish and wish and wish all she wants, but it kills her on the inside that the only thing she had written was

'her name is y/n.'

jake was upset because he knew max liked having someone back at the lab again, given that norm was usually out studying in his avatar form. he could do nothing; it's not like a native killed her. her death was an accident. neytiri said it was eywa, getting rid of the skydemon from their home. max couldn't bring himself to get rid of her avatar, so he left it in the corner of the lab, knowing nobody would ever be able to use it. it was a memory of her.

you were walking out of the mall, having just gone shopping for the party you were invited to this weekend. it was the talk of the campus, the biggest frat was having a huge party, and it was invite-only. if you got invited, you were on another fucking level. did you really know what that meant? no. did that matter, though? absolutely fucking not. you were just ready to get blackout drunk with your friends after the stressful week of finals everyone just had. and you and your friends were the only freshmen to be invited, so you had to go!

you were at a crosswalk waiting for the light to change when you considered taking a different way back to campus. you figured it wouldn't do any harm, and honestly, the change in scenery was lovely. you got to walk through the park and see the wildlife. you even got approached by a few stray kittens weaving in between your feet. you laughed as their fur tickled your ankles, but your attention was stolen by a man in what looked like jungle exploration gear??

"theodora? theodora!! oh my god! i thought they sent you to pandora years ago," he said as he shook your shoulders.

"um? i'm sorry, who are you?" you asked the man, currently regretting your decision to walk back to campus a different way.

"oh, that's not important right now. there's an empty cryo capsule because someone bailed at the last minute. i thought you were on pandora already!! come on, the scientists will be stoked that i found you here and brought you with me!!" he said as he dragged you into this weird-looking corporate building.

the weird jungle dude passed you to other scientists dressed in white scrub suits. you don't know what is going on; you just want out! you cannot miss this party this weekend. your entire reputation counted on it.

"ms. willisin i'm gonna give you a rundown on everything that is going on. this is the first ship that were sending to pandora in the past 18 years so things may be a bit hectic. you are going to go into a cryo capsule that yu will be held in until you reach your destination you know everything else any questions? no? good? get in the capsule," the scientist said as he started to push you into the capsule, but you resisted.

"i don't know who you think i am but my name isn't willisin–"

"you're right. your name is theodora. now get in the damn capsule. i don't get paid enough for this," he said as he fought against you to get you in the capsule. unfortunately for you, the man was stronger than you, so he managed to get you in the capsule and slammed the door shut before you could even register everything happening.

"let me out!! my name isn't theodora. you have the wrong mother fucker!!! it's cold in here. get me out of this box!!" your screams were useless as the cryo capsules were soundproof so that the rocket's takeoff wouldn't affect the passengers. you felt weaker and weaker as the cold consumed you until you started to fall asleep. the rumble of the ship only aided in putting you to sleep, but the last thing you saw before you closed your eyes, looking out the window in your capsule, you saw the planet you live on. earth.

why can i see earth right now?!?!

that was the last thought to pass through your head before you fell into a deep sleep.

you feel weird when you wake up again, almost like you're floating. bright lights block your vision as you feel hands frantically moving your body to get you out of your capsule. you were barely awake as you walked, basically dragged, around this weird science lab. "sit here and don't move. the head scientist will tell you what to do next." the woman said before she walked away. by the time she turned the corner, you were at least cognizant enough to know what was happening. your memory from before you fell asleep started flooding your mind again as

these people kidnapped me. am i even still in our solar system?? where the fuck am i?

so many thoughts drowned your mind, but one thing was clear to you.

you gotta get out of here, but you knew you had to be smart about this.

"theodora! hello, it is wonderful to meet you. wow, you look great for 44 years old. is that how scientists dress on earth now?" the man who seemed to be the head scientist approached you, hand extended in a greeting. you firmly shook it, playing your role and faking a laugh at his joke.

if i act like this theodora person. they'll pay less attention to me, and i can find an opening to leave. but i know nothing about her!

you were stumped, that is, until the man next to you started listing off every accomplishment and groundbreaking discovery 'you' had made. that's your ticket, though. he mentioned that this theodora person was obsessed with trees and made some huge discoveries regarding them, so why not play that card?

you smiled brightly at the scientist before you and cut off his praise.

"excuse me, dr…?" you said, trying to get his name.

"naylor. dr. naylor"

"dr. naylor, i would absolutely love to sit here and chat with you about… me, but i am just dying to see the trees in person, so if you would excuse me." you said as you slowly started to walk towards a door in the room that looked like an exit.

"that's fine, dr. willisin, don't forget your mask!" dr. naylor said, pointing at a mask that was hanging on the wall. you simply nodded and placed the mask on your face as you attached the bulky pack thing to your hip.

as soon as you were outside, you walked toward the forest line, casually waving at scientists who gave you weird looks, probably due to your attire. still, you could care less because you weren't even supposed to be here.

as you got a few feet into the trees, you looked back to make sure you were completely out of sight before you started running as fast as you could. god bless that you were athletic, having earned a track scholarship at usc and being the most scouted track star in america. you had some legs on you, so you weren't planning on stopping soon. that is until you stop because an arrow gets shot into the tree right before you. you looked around to see where it came from, noticing a blue figure hiding in the shadows. you didn't even think twice about running. if your love for horror movies taught you anything, it was that you do not stop when you hear a noise in the distance. you run faster than your ass can carry you and pray to any god out there that whatever the hell is trying to kill you would kindly stop.

you didn't know how long you had been running and dodging arrows until one of them struck you in your left arm. it, thankfully, had been a smaller arrow. at least in comparison to the others you had seen as you had been running. it went through your arm cleanly, and even though it hurt like a bitch, the adrenaline you were feeling right now made it feel more like someone pinched you really hard rather than being shot in the arm.

running for just a few minutes more, you moved the branches and leaves out of your way until you came up to what looked like an empty, abandoned lab. it looked the same as the one you had left earlier, so you assumed it was a lab.

you busted your ass, sprinting to the door as arrows were shot by you, one skimming your calf and another grazing your cheek. quickly, you clutched the door's handle, swung it open, and slammed it shut behind you. the arrows had ceased. whoever was trying to kill you gave up. you finally give yourself a minute to catch your breath, and as your adrenaline dies down, you start to feel every scratch and cut on your body. not to mention the arrow that was stuck in your arm.

you can't believe this is happening right now. first, you're kidnapped from your home planet, then you're trying to escape an arrow attack, and now you're standing in this lab making eye contact with two men, one who looked like yet another scientist and another who was wearing similar exploration gear as the guy you saw before you were so horribly kidnapped.

"are you fucking kidding me?! i ran all that way just to end up in another fucking lab?"

the two men standing before you were in shock. not only was there a human girl standing in front of them, but she looked an awful lot like theodora. the two men's attention was caught when they heard you groaning in pain.

"who are you?" the explorer guy asked you, still in his shocked state of mind.

"what do you mean who am i just ran from here. and tell your trigger happy friends out there to knock it off with the arrows this shit hurts!!" you said as you sat on the steps in front of the door. you applied pressure on your leg injury so you could at least slow the bleeding.

"we haven't had visitors in over 18 years. i'm gonna ask you again who you are." this time it was the scientists who spoke up.

god, you were starting to hate these scientists, explorers, and everything else on this planet.

what planet even is this? it didn't even matter to you. you just wanted to be home.

"that doesn't matter. what day is it? i have a frat party this weekend and these crazy fuckers kidnapped me and put me on a ship that was leaving earth!" you said, annoyed that they weren't answering your question?

"well, first, why don't we introduce ourselves, yeah?" the explorer spoke again. your eyes moved to him, and if looks could kill, boy, would he be dead. "my name is norm, i'm an anthropologist, and i focus most of my studies on nature and the natives of this planet."

the other man spoke up next. "um, my name is max. i am a civilian scientist on this planet. i'm in charge of the linking between humans and their avatars?"

"humans, avatars, anthropology. what the hell is this shit? just tell me where i am and what fucking day it is." norm and max hadn't had to deal with the wrath of an angry woman in a while, so they were just about as terrified as when they had first met natives.

"you're on pandora. it's 2193. what year was it when you left?" max said after swallowing his fear.

"its been six fucking years??!?! i was 18 years old when i fucking left!!!"

"well… happy birthday?" norm tried to lighten the mood, but something in your head clicked; you had never heard of a planet called pandora.

"am i even still in earth's solar system?"

"no, you're 4.37 light-years away. look, we don't know how you got here. we havent had any outside contact with earth in ages so whatever scientists you came from are not associated with us."

"bullshit, there's shit everywhere in here that says rda on it and that was the name of the people who took me. i saw it all over their techy nerd stuff. you're lying so you can get me to go back there. you guys robbed me of six years of my life." you didn't know how to feel. you couldn't feel your body anymore. everything was just so overwhelming.

"six years is how long it takes to get to pandora. they didn't explain that to you when you boarded the ship?" norm question, to you, was stupid because you had just answered that.

"do your ears not fucking work? i didn't get on the ship, i was dragged onto it against my will. these idiots kidnapped me because they mistook me for some woman named theodora willisin, and i don't even know who that woman is." you sighed. you were starting to feel tired again, tears filling your eyes. you didn't know where you were or who these people were; you were just tired, and the injuries you sustained weren't helping you keep your eyes open.

your voice was quiet as you spoke again. it was almost inaudible compared to your voice's earlier volume. "please, i'm not even supposed to be here; i just need help. i wanna go home, and this arrow is hurting my arm, and i'm tired and–" you couldn't even finish your sentence before you passed out.

although they didn't know you, norm and max were quick to come to your aid. it had been several years since they heard that name. they don't know who you were or where you came from, but they couldn't lie and say that they didn't understand why these scientists had mistaken you for theodora. your resemblance was uncanny. norm quickly moved your form from the steps you passed out on. he placed you onto an empty lab table that they had while he snapped max out of his trance, telling him to grab their medical kit.

the two men patched up your wounds and moved you into the room that theodora used to live in when she lived with them. they closed the door and allowed you to rest.

max told norm immediately to link with his avatar so he could inform jake about the young girl they found. max wanted to make the natives nearby aware that the girl wasn't even meant to be there.

norm quickly made it to jake's home, finding the olo'eyktan spending time with his youngest daughter. jake could read the worried look on norm's face and quickly approached the man so he could know what was wrong.

"what is it?" jake got to the point.

"there's a human girl in our lab who passed out from arrow injuries." norm said.

"only arrow injuries? did they not kill the skydemon?" neytiri asked when she heard that there was a sky person on their planet again. that could only mean one thing, though. they were all back.

"what do you mean there's a human girl in your lab? kill her you know the rules around here norm there's no acceptions for any skywalkers."

"that's the thing. she's not a skywalker, she's not a sky demon. she's an 18 year old, well now she's 24, but she was a college student who was kidnapped. they mistook her for theodora and she lost six years in cryo. i don't know how she was able to dodge the arrows from your scouts but jake i can't kill that girl. she's harmless. she didn't even know that pandora existed until she woke up from cryo. she's terrified." norm explained to his friend. hoping jake could find it in him to let norm and max just take care of the girl.

"norm–" jake started, but norm cut him off

"look, we can't send her back, it's impossible, just let us raise her. she won't come near the people. she won't cause any issues. it'll be as if she's not here. i had to come tell you because she was almost killed trying to escape the people who kidnapped her."

"her mask has a tracker in it. she will lead them to your lab." neytiri voiced. over time she had grown fond of norm and max, them being the only skypeople trusted. she didn't want this skydemon to harm those she cares for, especially after norm said they mistook her for that scientist who died all those years ago.

neytiri hated theodora. the woman was clumsy, always walking around making trouble for herself that others would have to save her from, and now there's another one. another cursed skydemon is here to destroy her home. she would not stand for it. neytiri stood from her place next to tuk and walked over to her bow and arrows. jake looked over to his mate, seeing how she was walking out of their home with her weapon. "woah, hey, neytiri. hold on a second, just wait." jake said to his wife.

"no. i shall go kill that girl like i meant to do with the last one," she said, but norm spoke before she could leave.

"her mask doesn't have a tracker! we checked it after she passed out and even broke it and i threw it far away somewhere just for good measure but from the looks of it they gave her one without a tracker because they thought she was that famous scientist."

“see, ma neytiri, mawey. it is okay. they said they would keep her there. there's no need to interfere if she isn't a threat. she doesn't want to be here just as much as you don't want her here yawne." jake said, soothing his mate's tense shoulders, feeling her release her breath, giving in to his comfort.

"she wont bother you guys. we'll make sure she has boundaries and never crosses onto native territories. we'll even give her one of our tracker masks so we can keep an eye on her. just please don't kill her. for some reason she means a lot to max. i think he's seeing something that i'm not. that's not important, just please if she wanders off i will be the one to go get her. just don't kill her. please." norm was begging at this point. to neytiri, it was weird, but she assumed it was because he really meant what he was saying. jake was already convinced, so once neytiri put her bow and arrows down, the tension in the room dissolved. everyone could finally release the breath they had been holding.

"thank you." norm said before he made his way to his ikran, flying back to the lab.

#avatar x reader #avatar #avatar the way of water #avatar wotw #avatar 2 #awotw x reader #awotw #atwow x reader #atwow imagines #lo'ak x reader #lo'ak sully #lo'ak angst #lo'ak x y/n

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beefboyandbabygirl · 11 months

Text

Judas in the Window (18+)

pairing: priest(apprentice)!chan x fem!collegestudent!reader

genre: ANGST ANGST and smut (mdni), childhood best friends to..?

description: you return home from college, after not seeing your old town for three years. your childhood best friend has been waiting for you.

warnings: no. genuinely so sad. religious guilt, blasphemy ig, slutshaming, degradation (f. receiving), praise (f. receiving), desperation, fingering (f. receiving), humiliation, unprotected sex (do not do this shit), brief breeding kink, mentions of past unhappiness, reader has beef with her old self fr, alcohol consumption, pet names (darling, baby, some more i dont recall), LOTS of biblical references, i warned you this is incredibly sad and wether it's a good ending is certainly debatable, reader has both her parents (if u dont, same, just imagine the dad as adam sandler and the mom as gwendoline christie), the dad is the best character x

quotes from my proofreader: "i have a new pair of panties at the ready", "im horny and angry, some say hangry", "AAAAAA"

wordcount: 8.3k

a/n: it is 2:30 am. my proofreader is asleep and i might go crazy if i dont post this now, so if there are any mistakes in the last part i am sorry, ill fix it later lmao

Your room hasn’t changed a bit.

You’re not sure why the sight knocks the wind out of you. You suppose you’d thought your parents might do something with it - maybe give your dad a “man cave” or whatever other pained, heteronormative solution to hating each other. But it’s the same exact thing. Your bed, horrible orange wood, pink princess sheets, and your desk right beside you where you stand in the doorway, all cluttered with glitter pens and marker sets and a small mirror.

“Isn’t this great, honey?” your mom squeals, old hands squeezing your shoulders. It takes you a second to reply. You’re not even sure you want to step inside the room. “Yeah, yeah, it’s great, mom.”

“I’m getting dinner ready, you just settle yourself in!” she says, practically vibrating at your presence. She’s so happy, it jabs at your stomach with guilt, that you can’t even bring yourself to enter. You watch her disappear down the stairs, making a funny face when she catches your eye. You half-smile tiredly. Then you’re looking at it again.

It’s like a totally closed off time capsule. Your fingers play with the doorframe, looking at the stains in the carpet, that you vividly remember creating as a clumsy child. You see the stickers on your closet-door, and the faint outline of the stickers you’d taken down. You see toys, whose names you remember, you see terrible drawings over your bed, hung with glitter tape, and you see yourself. The you that you were certain you’d stuck in the dirt and buried. The one you’d worked over-over-overtime to never see again. She was somehow alive and well in this room. A part of you roamed with a horde of anxiety, birthed by the thought that once you entered, you and her would fuse together, and all the flaws you’d had would be reignited, and you would be miserable again.

“You not going in, champ?” you jump at your father’s voice behind you. You turn to see him exiting your parents’ bedroom, taking heavy, loggy steps towards the staircase. You shake your head: “No, I am, it’s just..” you pause and turn back to the room, letting out a heavy sigh. “It’s weird.”

Your father pauses. He has his reading glasses pushed all the way down to the tip of his nose, so he leans his head back and squints to study you. “Well- well- well, why don’t you just try out for a bit, champ, and if you don’t like it, Uh, well, we’ll situate you on the couch. How’s- how’s that sound?”

You smile softly. “Sure.”

“Alright, champ,” he pats your back and finally starts his descent down the stairs.

You nod to yourself and exhale deeply, face now turned back to the super menacing not-at-all-menacing room before you. Your fears are deeply irrational. You wouldn’t just revert back to your old self. Once you’re half believing it, you finally break the barrier, and take a step inside.

It’s not so bad after all. Everything is very still. Dust kicked up from your presence slows down around you. You’re standing under the overhead lamp, and it’s not that bad. Not so bad. You drop your duffel bag and sit down on your bed.

You feel a lot bigger, sitting with bent knees in the plush duvet. You recognize that you can’t be that much bigger than when you last sat here, 18 years old, heading off to college in the big city. And this was the kind of town where neighbors a dozen houses over came to see you off, waving at you with big smiles on their faces, an american flag hoisted up to the blue sky. You remember the grins stretched on their faces, and how you’d been panicked to start the ignition on the car. They’d looked like they were made of wax.

Movement flashes in your peripheral. You turn your head, brushing hair out of the way. The movement is coming from the crack in the curtains. Like Moses parting the red sea, your fingers delicately brush the flimsy fabrics away. You know exactly what - who - you’re about to see. Your heart presses, red and wet, into your throat.

Chan.

He’s there in the window directly across from yours. You almost don’t recognize him at first. He’s shirtless, pacing around and picking things off the floor, and, God, he’d gotten so big. His arms are so shapely and firm and his stomach is toned and when he turns his back to you, you see how it ripples with muscle, and your mouth is drooping open in shock.

This is Chan, you try to remember (memories flit of him in his dad’s baseball caps, him on the playground, or on the sandy paths that fade out from the roads on the outskirts of town), but grounding yourself in the memories of him as a kid only serves to hurt you. No, you decide, eyeing his naked torso through the glass, better remember him like this. Like an adult who has faults and wrongs, not an innocent child that you abandon in your haste to grow up.

He’s looking at you. Suddenly, he’s fucking looking at you. For a moment it seems like he’s confused, maybe fighting with the danger of recognizing you as a real, actual person in the window. Then his eyes are softened and he’s hunched over the paneled window, face split in half as he stares back at you. He used to fit so easily in the frame of that window - now you watch his shoulders press against the framework, unable to squeeze in.

Your cheeks are burning when you squeeze your eyes shut and smile apologetically. Your childhood best friend who you hadn’t seen in three years had just caught you staring at his fucking abs through his window. You fear he’ll take offense, especially considering how you’d left things off with him, but when you open your eyes, he’s grinning softly and shaking his head.

He walks away from the small window, and you take this as your cue to leave as well. You fall back on the bed and groan pathetically, body jittery with embarrassment.

“Y/n, sweetheart! Dinner now!” your mom caws from the floor beneath you and you feel 16 again. This was what you didn’t want. All the power you had accumulated was slipping through your fingers by the minute.

It’s just five days, you remind yourself. Just five, measly days.

“Coming, mom!” _____________________________

The fucking bell tower is going. Over and over again and it shouldn’t be this loud, you’re not that close to the church, but it is.

You lie flat on your back in the smoldering dark, completely still. It’s so loud it feels like it’s coming from inside your head. Like the curved, rusted sides of it are bashing against your skull. You don’t understand how anyone could sleep through this. You don’t understand how Chan could stay here all these years. Maybe that’s just because you couldn’t see yourself here.

You don’t want to think about Chan anymore, but for whatever reason - you can’t decide if it was seeing him (so manly) so suddenly, or if it’s the ever-ringing bell in the distance, like a marker of the apocalypse - he won’t leave your mind tonight. Part of you understood that what had happened with you and Chan was natural, and not particularly anyone’s fault. So why did you still carry the heavy burden of guilt? Guilt that pinched at your nerve endings like the delicate tunes in a children’s music box.

You and Chan had met as children in church. It didn’t take long for you to be best friends. You’d sit next to each other on the neatly lined benches during sermon, then you’d tumble in the grass outside, and then you’d go to his house and play until dinner, after which you’d see each other again, talking from window to window. You spent very nearly every moment with him.

Then you grew apart.

It was a slow death. Seeing each other became a sort of horrific reminder that it was ending, no longer bound by church or friendship, but a mutual understanding. There’d be a sort of solemn silence whenever you locked eyes. Is this the last time? You’d wonder, and the longer it went on, the more you started to wish that it was.

And then it was.

It was your fault. You were 13 and suddenly you were wearing makeup and your dresses were getting shorter, and you wished you were much older than you were. You started forgetting the principles they’d taught you in church. Or maybe you’d never really learnt it, only tolerated it for Chan. But years passed and by the time you were sixteen, you were being kissed and groped at parties and you were having sex in cars and smearing your lipstick on the rims of shot glasses.

And Chan was.. Well, Chan. Chan was a skinny, virgin christian. And you liked him, but suddenly there wasn’t much to talk about. From one day to the next, all discussable topics evaporated in your hand, and talking to Chan became a stumbling, bumbling mess.

After that you were just…. Gone. 18 years old disappearing down the dirt roads in the 2009 Toyota Tacoma, that you’d gotten for your sweet sixteen. Chan was standing on the roadside that day, but he wasn’t sure you saw him. Your wheels kicked up dust and that was all you left behind. A cloud of sand for him to grab at, looking lost in between your tire tracks. At that moment it felt like those last years were two seconds. You just slipped right out of his hands.

Lying in bed and your heart is so heavy. Maybe it isn’t Chan, you conclude. Maybe it’s what he represented. The face of the church; the face of goodness, of purity; the face of the life you deselected.

The cry of the bell tower becomes a song in the night. You fall asleep in the devil’s hour. _____________________________

The following day you’re reexploring. The air is dry and the sun beating down on your shoulders. You’re walking through the suburbs and then later the small town square made up of mostly parking lots. You feel peregrine, but trudging through on the pavement, it becomes clear you’re the only one who feels this way.

Every citizen, every single one of them - in polos, in flower-print dresses, in sandals, in sunglasses - stops you to welcome you back home. They’re shaking your shoulders and they recognize you and can tell you your name and your age, and they say that it’s good you found your way back. Every interaction leaves you more depressed than the last. You’re ducking your head, crumpled up like an unsent love letter.

Your steps are heavy, your own sandals dragging into the uneven tiles of the square. Then you’re lifting your head from the ground, and your feet have betrayed you.

You’re standing in the opening to another street of storefronts, and 5 rows of neatly planted trees down, the church sprouts from the earth like a stake.

It’s not just any small town church. A few steps lead up to a plateau, supported by large, white beams. They may not be Roman, but they’re there, and they’re made of smooth concrete. The building itself is made of red brick, although the color varies and looks dappled. Each side of the church has two stained glass windows, which you remember from your childhood. The door, huge and oaken, ends in a point right beneath a round window, and the bell tower shoots up, a mighty cross at its peak.

You’re left a little breathless at it. You don’t remember it being so menacing. But there’s also something beautiful about it. How it looks at you like it’ll kill you. And how blunt it is about it. You’re blinking at it and wondering how you got here. It’s as if something’s possessed you, because despite knowing better, you begin to take calm steps towards it, eyes transfixed and soulless.

You’re walking into the courtyard, gravel underfoot, and then you’re traversing up the steps, fingers barely brushing over the railing. Idling forward, you’re opening the door.

“And when Mary birthed the-”

Crrrrreeeeeeeaaaaaaaaak!

Every head snaps towards you, as you’re cracking the door open, and the trance lifts from you. Oh, shit. Your gaze grazes over the stacked benches, smiling apologetically and bopping your head.

You clear your throat. “I’m-”

You lock eyes with the priest, whose service you just interrupted, where he’s standing before the crowd, bible in hand.

It’s Chan.

“I’m sorry,” you squeak, voice now much meeker, and you don’t even know what to do, so you just step inside and sit down on the nearest bench. Slowly (and with low scoffs) the sea of heads turn around. One pair of eyes don’t leave you though. Chan studies you for several seconds longer, searching for something in your eyes, but you’re looking away. You just want him to continue. He does.

This is crazy, you think, and you can hardly believe you’re hearing his voice say those words, and it’s him in the clerical shirt. You supposed it made sense. You supposed you understood. But actually you didn’t, not at all. Not when he was supposed to live and change and evolve and here he is years later, dedicating his life to the one and only thing he knows!

You’re tuning out the rest of his talk, vaguely aware of how his eyes flit over to you a little too frequently. Soon enough you’re absently clasping your hands together in a prayer and then people are lining up to thank Chan for his stellar service.

You watch them from your seat, debating whether or not to leave without talking to him. Leaving wasn’t a bad idea. You were only gonna be in town for a week more, surely, you could avoid him until then.

But you know you won’t do that. You want to talk to Chan. You want to feel his hand in your own. Partially you felt like maybe you could save him from just being a decoration to this hellscape for the rest of his life. You’re not sure you could go on living your life, when you know he’s just back here - still here.

So there you are, planted in the line and hoping to save him from some dull future, and he’s shaking hands and smiling, but you can see how he eyes you, coming up on the line.

“Thank you, Chan,” you smile warmly, and his hand is grabbing yours and it’s so soft and so big. He’s smiling too. Then you’re coughing and correcting yourself: “Uh- Father. Chan.”

He laughs at your sputtering, clapping your hand between his two: “Oh, thank you, sister.” Emphasizing with pursed lips and wide eyes. You laugh along a little, but it’s strained.

His smile fades slowly, and his face relaxes. He wants to say more. His fingers are still pulling your hand to his, and you just keep shaking it, because if you stop, it’ll be weird. Officially.

“Oh, do you two know each other?” A bobbed woman from behind you in line is purring, unfamiliar hand on your back, and she doesn’t wait for you to answer before she’s talking again: “So, how do you know each other?”

“Childhood. Friends,” Chan stammers, almost looking at you for confirmation, and you’re nodding along when the woman “ah’s” and “ooh’s”. “Oh, that’s wonderful, you guys!” And then you’re listening to her talk about some trailer down in Cassandra, and how her brother is fixing it up with his old friend, but there’s water damage in the lining of the room, and it’ll mold if they’re not careful, and it’s such useless information, you’re wondering how you’ll ever forget it.

“Mrs. Lark, uh, I think my,” he looks at you, lips pursed, “my friend here needs to go, so..”

Mrs. Lark gasps, embarrassed: “Oh, I’m sorry, you’re right, I’m babbling,” and usually Chan would reassure her that she wasn’t, but he has more urgent matters on his hands. “Good day, Mrs. Lark!” he says and sends her off with a bright smile. There’s a few more people in line and Chan sighs a little.

“Can you-” he’s a little sheepish, suddenly self conscious about the clergy shirt that grips his neck, “Can you wait? Here? Just until I’m done-”

“Yeah,” you say. He smiles gratefully.

Chatter continues behind you with a slight echo in the large room. You wait by one of the stained glass windows, arms around yourself as you stare up at it. Each and every window was a different biblical figure, made up of small shards of colored glass. You always found it strange, looking back, how your small town church had this grand artwork. The eyes of the window peer down at you.

“Judas,” Chan comments, planting himself beside you. His voice echoes slightly in the now empty church. The whole place is both too big and too small for the both of you. “It’s an interesting choice.”

“What?”

“Why you chose this window over any other,” Chan breathes, eyes darting down to you, and he’s looking at you very intensely. Then, it dissipates: “I’m also drawn to this one.”

A pause.

“I wonder why they’d make this,” you quip, feeling small beside him. “I think whoever made this wanted all sides of Jesus’ story illustrated,” Chan says. You shrug. “If it were me, I wouldn’t.”

Chan tilts his head to the side and looks at you again. Your cheeks burn, so you smile a little cheekily. “Was that not the right thing to say?”

Chan’s smile is gentle and bemused - almost adoring. “There’s nothing you can say in here that is wrong.”

“I don’t think that’s true,” you laugh and Chan follows along. “Oh, you don’t?” You’re both laughing together, glee filling the crevices of the holy place, while Judas eyes you from the window. Your laughter dies down again, and when the silence returns, your heart clenches nervously. There’s a beat.

“You keep busy?” you ask and the two of you are now facing each other. He sighs and nods, looking around. “Yeah, yeah, I got a.. Like a church get-together thing in, like, two days. I’ll be.. Preaching."

“Preaching,” you repeat, smile a little too tight. You wish you could say he didn’t notice. “Big Mr. Priest..”

He laughs: “Technically I’m a priest apprentice,” he says, arms crossing over his chest. You roll your eyes. “So humble.”

“What about you? Keep busy?”

“Yeah, college,” you sigh. “You done?” he asks and you shake your head. “I wish.”

His expression softens until he’s frowning. You want to squirm under his gaze, only because he looks so sincere and worried and you haven’t seen each other in three years. “You look tired.”

“That’s not-” you begin, covering the slight ache in your heart with a laugh, “I just- Couldn’t sleep last night.”

“I thought living in the big city had you sleeping like a rock when you got to our quiet town,” he teases with a half-smile.

You shake your head, looking upwards at the ceiling. “It was that bell tower, just ringing, all night.” You shrug. Chan’s brows furrow and he looks up as well, as if he’d be able to see it through the tile roof.

“The…” he trails off, sounding lost, “The bell tower doesn’t ring at nig-”

Beep! Beep!

“Shit- sorry!” you curse, when your phone goes off loudly. Chan stands still studying you, while you squint at your phone. “I think- I think I gotta go.”

“Uh, yeah, sure,” he coughs, index finger rubbing over his taut knuckles. You’re pushing your phone into your back pocket again, when he reaches an arm out to you. “Uh-” he pulls back self-consciously, “Would you want to-.. Maybe, come to dinner at my place? Tomorrow?”

You’re a little taken aback, looking at him with a softly open mouth for a moment. “Uh,” you fight back a wide smile, “Yeah, sure. I’d- I’d like that.”

“Great,” Chan smiles too and nods. “Just- just at the house right next door, or?-”

“Yeah, yeah, it’s that one. Still,” Chan blushes breathlessly. You chuckle awkwardly. “Okay.”

“Okay. See you then.” _____________________________

You’re not sure why the prospect of having dinner with Chan has you so nervous. And it is just a dinner, you remind yourself, as you’re picking out your dress, just two friends catching up. After some 45 minute debate you pick out a pretty sundress.

You’d like to think there’s more to it than just the fact that Chan is suddenly very pretty and muscular. Maybe it’s the chance to make a wrong right. Maybe it’s to find out who this boy is, that was a key part of your life for so many years. Maybe you think you can change him.

Either way you’re just waiting for it all day, ignoring your dad trying to lure you out with trick shots from your garage. “HIYA!” he screams, throwing ping pong balls at your window all afternoon.

At 6:30 PM you’re standing at his door and hoping you don’t look too dolled up. His house also looks mostly identical to your memory of it. There’s something off about it though, and you study it momentarily, only to realize the front garden has overgrown. The grass comes up jagged and sharp, and the bushes bulge over the fence gate, brushing you when you waddle inside. You click the doorbell, wait a few seconds, and then begin to suspect that it didn’t work. Then you knock and you hear him fumbling around inside: “Coming!”

He opens the door (with some struggle), and then you’re standing before each other. He’s so domestic, in a striped, brown sweater and dark blue jeans, and curly hair is framing his face like a crown.

“Hi.”

He gives you a once over, smiling shyly: “You look great.”

“Thank you,” you bow a little, “you too.”

Then he’s letting you inside and you’re kicking off your shoes haphazardly, while he fusses back to the kitchen. “I made bolognese, if you don’t mind!” he calls and when you enter into the living space, he’s stirring a pan vigorously. You giggle a little, smile falling at the sight of a cross on the wall behind you. “Uh, yeah, of course.”

Slurping tomato-sauced pasta and drinking a half-expensive wine that Chan had bought, you two laugh together. You mostly talk about when you were kids, then he’s talking about joining the church and you’re talking about college.

“Is it hard? Out there?” Chan slurs a little, both of you tipsy and warm from the wine, having moved to the couch after eating. Now, full and face burning hot, you’re looking at each other differently. Chan’s got one arm on the couch rest, the other swirling the wine in his glass. He’s smirking a little and you hate how hot he is.

“It’s.. Exciting,” you counter, a little confused at his tone. He's close enough to radiate warmth onto you, when his eyes dip down to your lips for a second. “Yeah. You like exciting,” he drinks down the rest of his wine and sets the glass on the couch table. The moon, that’s been slowly traversing the star-speckled sky, gives the glass a faint halo. Chan basks in the moonlight, half lit and half shadowed.

“I do. I do like exciting,” you giggle dumbly, still unsure where he’s steering the conversation. Chan smiles adoringly, because there you are sitting all blushing and warm in a sundress on his couch. The warmth disappears from his eyes then.

“Was it exciting to watch me undress?”

Oh.

Shit.

You almost spit out a half-drunken sip of wine, gulping it down painfully and shaking your head. You set the glass down. “Chan! I’m-” you’re scrambling, “I’m really, really sorry. I- I was just- It wasn’t about your body, I was thinking about-”

“Shut up.”

Your mouth falls agape at his tone, offended and caught off guard. He’s still beside you, eyes much sharper than you remember, much colder. “Stop treating me like I’m still a kid.”

“Well, you haven’t changed much, Chan,” you scoff.

“Yeah, that’s why you were looking at me through your fucking window,” he scoffs as well, “because I haven’t changed.”

You sit in quiet disbelief, trying to stay mad when his face is so pretty and so close to yours, and his jaw is clenched and his cheeks are flushed from the wine. You’re deciding whether to spit back or diffuse the situation. “Look, I don’t know what you want me to say. I’m sorry.”

The hand that was previously holding his glass lands on your knee. He leans in even further and you smell the sour air of wine on his breath. You shudder under his touch when he whispers: “I want you to be honest with me.”

You’re looking up at him with wide eyes, heart beating in your chest like nails being knocked into wood. “Tell me what you want from Father Chan,” he muses, smirking slightly, while his thumb brushes back and forth on your knee.

You’re completely out of breath and squeezing your thighs together, as slick begins to build up in your panties. “Come on,” he encourages, “Let it out. Tell Channie what you want.”

“I want,” you’re shaking in humiliation, gaze cast onto the floor, “I want you to touch me.”

“Come again?” he teases, grinning.

“Please touch me, Chan.”

“There you go,” he mutters and finally gives in, hand brushing the skirt of your dress up your thighs, until your white, cotton panties are visible to him. The sight of you is so pornographic, he groans and dips his head into your neck. “Spread your legs for me, baby.”

And you do, one of them drooping over his legs, while the other bends on the couch beside you. You’re already so worked up, because Chan is so beautiful and you never, ever thought you’d experience him like this. “Shh, shh, calm down, pretty girl,” he kisses your temple, as his fingers brush over your clothed core.

“Baby,” he tuts disapprovingly, “you’ve soaked through your panties.”

You can only whine as his fingertips ghost along your dripping slit, and he’s nosing into your cheek like a big puppy. “‘M sorry,” you hiccup, and he grins and kisses your lips tenderly. “So polite for me.”

He finally dips his hand into your panties, fingers rubbing circles into your pussy. You’re mewling and thrashing into his chest, basking in the sound of his strangled moan, when you thrash the leg in his lap and brush over his hard cock.

His fingers move lower to dance along your slit and you grab his wrist strenuously. He hums a little. “Gonna put my fingers in your pussy and my tongue in your mouth now,” he’s mumbling and you can’t tell if he’s telling you or himself, but either way he does as promised, two fingers plunging into your sopping wet heat, while he dips his tongue in your hot mouth.

You're moaning into his lips. He’s kissing you so sloppily, spit spilling down both of your chins, and noses rubbing together, breathing scorching air into each other. His fingers are pumping in and out of you, then curling into that sweet spongy spot inside you.

“Fuck!” you cry when he pulls away breathlessly, “so, so, so good. Chan- Chan, fuck!”

Your orgasm is building up in your stomach, with a pleasure that is simultaneously torturous. He’s looking at you so intensely, you feel like you might unravel under his gaze. “Fuck, Channie.”

“Yeah? You feel good?” he pauses his words, still curling his fingers in and out of you. His next words are somewhat uneasy: “Is this better than those other guys?”

“Huh?” you mumble, chest arching and his mouth is watering at how inviting it is. “Back then,” he says, and it finally clicks what he’s talking about.

“Pussy so good no wonder they all wanted a piece of you, hm? Such a slut,” he’s rambling now, fingers plunging in and out of you impossibly fast, while his other hand splays over your stomach, thumb tapping your clit. You cry out in ecstasy, unable to form coherent words to respond with.

“But you’re my slut, right?” His voice is raspy and right next to your ear. The thumb tapping your clit begins to rub circles into it. “Y/n,” he’s suddenly very serious, “say you’re my slut.”

“I’m-” your voice crack in humiliation, cheeks fiery and eyes squeezed shut, “I’m your slut!”

“That’s right,” he pants, trying to stop his hips from bucking into your calf. “And my slut is gonna cum on my fucking fingers right now.”

Your orgasm feels otherworldly - maybe godly - and your whole body shakes in his hold, chest bouncing in his face and moans melodic in his living room. Chan works you through it, finally pulling his fingers out when your hands weakly push at his own.

You’re sighing heavily with hair messy and teased, slumped back on his couch. “Holy shit,” you say, grinning from ear to ear, completely dazed. Chan is watching you with a proud smirk and a tent the size of Texas in his pants.

A thought strikes you then, and your grin is fading and your brows are furrowing. “Wait- Wait, Chan? Where are your parents?” you ask suddenly, sitting up and straight and pulling your dress down hastily. You snap your head around self-consciously.

“Relax! Relax!” he laughs, “They don’t live here anymore, I bought the house from them, like, six months ago.”

Your jaw drops. You wait just a second, hoping to catch a cheeky glint in his eyes, that might tell you he’s joking. You find nothing but blackness.

“You bought the house?”

Chan looks at you quizzically, shrugging. “Yeah, I mean, they wanted to move, you know, see new things and I.. I just. Didn’t.”

You can hardly fucking believe your ears.

“Chan!” you cry, frustration blooming in your chest and pounding in your head. “Why did you buy the fucking house? You’re gonna spend the rest of your life paying off the fucking mortgage, and you’re never gonna get out of here!” you shout, flailing your arms at his absurdity.

Chan narrows his eyes at you. “Sorry, city girl, we don’t all wanna pack up and live in a closet space for three years-”

“Wha- Chan, this is not about me! How can you just.. Surrender to this place?” you shout and suddenly he’s raising his voice too. “Surrender?” he repeats, spitting it back at you.

“Yeah! Jesus, even your fucking parents wanted to leave, Chan. But you’re just- You’re gonna live out the rest of your life in this shithole and be some sort of- of priest?!”

“I can’t believe you right now,” he stands up from the couch, and you follow suit. “In what world do you have the morality to come in here and tell me what I’m doing wrong?”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” you scoff, crossing your arms.

Your voices are echoing in the empty house, wine glasses and sauced plates standing idly on the tables nearby. Your silhouettes are confined to the large living room window, standing on either side of the moon.

“You know what that means, Y/n,” he laughs bitterly. “No, please, tell me,” you invite him challengingly, wondering (or perhaps fearing) whether or not he’d actually go there. He prods at his cheek with his tongue, and hesitates.

“You were a fucking slut, Y/n.” His voice is quieter, maybe ashamed. Tears sting at your eyes, when you look at him incredulously. How could you think you knew this man? How could you think there was anything left to salvage?

“Fuck you, Chan,” you spit, spinning around before the tears can fall. He says nothing, just stands alone in his living room while you dash out his door, hands wrapping around himself.

Exiting his house into the cool, summer air, you realize one thing. The bell tower had been the call of the apocalypse. _____________________________

You were the walls of Jericho that night, crying and tumbling in your childhood sheets, muffling your cries in the fear that he’d hear through his creaked open window. What was this pain, you couldn’t decide. Was it how he stayed steadfast or how you metamorphosed, dying only to return once again?

In the morning, you’re dull and gray. You’re drinking coffee out of your dad’s old tourist shop mug from a visit to Niagara Falls, sitting at the dining table with puffy eyes. Your mom eyes you worriedly from the counter, leaning into your dad to whisper not-so-discreetly.

“Sweetheart, you wanna go with us to church today? They’re having this whole event, the kids’ choir will be there!” she suggests gently and you just want to shrug off all her affection.

“No,” you deadpan. Your mom gives your father a look. He sighs.

“Alright, champ, that’s- that’s your choice,” he nods, mustache scrunching up when he pouts. You sigh, feeling like an asshole. “Sorry, I just-”

“Don’t apologize, sweetheart, you just rest!” your mom shushes you, scrambling around the kitchen, ever in the hunt for some lost appliance. “All that college must wear you out, you should rest while you can, hm?”

They’re gone by noon. You sit in the shadowed corner of your bed, avoiding the strip of light that dances across your room from the crack in the curtain.

You’re bored, scrolling on your phone, cheek puffed up against your pillow, when it slips out of your hands and hits the floor with a loud bump. You groan, feeling like the whole world is against you today, and throw your arm off the bed to grab at it on the floor.

It’s halfway under the bed, and when your fingers finally remark the smooth surface, they brush against something else. It’s hard and it feels dirty. You lift your head to look and tug it out.

It’s your diary.

Phone long forgotten, you lift it carefully, like an old relic, and push open the faded pink cover. You feel like you’re about to snap in half, when your eyes survey the graphite-smudged pages of your horrible, horrible handwriting. The pages emanate a mysterious air that has you leaning back in your seat.

You’re skimming through angst entries, that has you cringing and wanting to put it down, before you freeze suddenly, inhaling sharply at the scribbled out words before you.

‘3. august 2016

God, I miss Chan.’

The words come with the promise of stinging tears in your eyes.

“Fuck you,” you whisper angrily at the page, because you’re crying again, and you close the book and hold onto yourself so tightly that it hurts. “Fuck that. Fuck this.”

It’s perhaps the worst feeling you’ve ever felt. It’s anger, it’s sadness, it’s humiliation, it’s confusion. How did it end like this, you think. It would be so much easier if you were kids again. If he was that dorky kid from your church, who wore his father’s baseball caps and had chubby little hands when he prayed. You can do it better, you think miserably, if you get another chance. But you don’t.

For about fifteen minutes, you curl into yourself and wait for the feeling to go away. It doesn’t. The heavy weight of realization pools in your stomach when you realize you might carry this with you for the rest of your life if you don’t do something. It doesn’t have to end like this.

Suddenly you’re light as a feather, grabbing your jacket and your keys and sprinting out the door and down the street. The cross atop the spire watches you run to it, awaiting you ominously. _____________________________

You’re disheveled and pulled apart when you arrive at the gathering, and for once the townspeople look at you like you’re out of place. You’re late, you know, because people are taking their leave, scattering and dissolving towards the town square, and the entertainment (the kids’ choir), all robed in white, are marching away together.

You’re panting, stumbling further into the church garden, jumping at the sound of grills being closed and rolled away onto the pavement.

“Y/n?” Chan can hardly believe his eyes, when he sees you standing between a bed of lilies. You turn around and see him, melting a little at how tired and sad he looks. “I can’t believe you came,” he whispers, a little sparkle of hope in his gaze. You smile fondly, “Me neither.”

Chan moves to embrace you, but freezes when he suddenly remembers where you are. “Uh, I can’t, I have to-” he stammers, scrambling for a solution, for something better than turning you away, when you’re here, close enough for him to hold. He looks around, gaze following the churchgoers as they pass through the gates, before he’s bopping his head down to whisper to you again: “Go into the church. I’ll be with you in a second.”

You walk through that heavy, wooden door, and when it closes behind you the scrambling of metal and people and footsteps and crying children is gone. With the door, you’re sealed in here, with whatever fate follows.

All the light in the church is filtering through the stained glass windows, and once again you find yourself drawn to him. Judas.

Part of you would expect such an artwork to depict Judas as greedy and grim, as glutinous and gloomy; that he would be hunched over with a pouch of shillings, giggling at his evildoing. But the Judas in the window is so.. Sad.

He’s blue and gray and his eyebrows are upturned and for the life of you, you can’t figure out how the unknown artist must have managed to portray such despair in glass. You stand in the middle of his reflection on the floor, all blue and gray yourself, and you’re not sure it’s really because of the light.

That’s all the church inhabits at that moment. You and Judas, and your shallow breaths, and the stirring of dust in the air. There’s nothing holy in there with you. Just you and him.

You hear the door open to your right. You know it’s Chan, somehow you can just feel it. He must sense something in the air, because he says nothing, just walks up to stand beside you, and only then do you speak again.

“I always felt a bit like Judas,” you muster a breath.

Chan pauses and you can feel him looking at you. “Me too.”

You furrow your brows, and finally look up at him, and there he is in his clerical shirt and his matching pants, his right cheek glowing bright blue. The whole room is so heavy, you lean against the bench behind you.

“That’s not.. That’s not how it’s supposed to be.”

Chan doesn’t ask you to elaborate. He understands. “God made it that way,” he’s nodding with a pained expression on his face, almost as if he’s trying to convince himself. You laugh a little and hate how much love you feel, when Chan half-smiles at the sound.

“God.. Yeah,” you half-gesture to the sky and Chan giggles. Then you’re both quieting down again. “I can’t tell if it was you or God I turned my back on,” you say and you’re looking at Judas again, and how one, jagged hand holds onto his chest.

“Maybe it was both,” Chan says and there’s this unreadable expression on his face. You’re laughing again, cheeks apple-round. “I’m pretty sure it’s blasphemous to compare yourself to God.”

“Yeah?” he laughs, “I think so too.” You’re looking at him again when he’s gulping hard and the joy drains from his face. A small frown curve his lips. “I’m sorry about yesterday, you know.” You look away.

“Me too,” you say. Chan can’t help the way his heart leaps when, without sparing him a glance, you grab his hand in yours and squeeze it. He squeezes back.

He gasps painfully and when you turn to him again, he’s choking back tears, face turning red. “I’m sorry,” he chokes out. “I just wish… Fuck, I mean, we’re too different, aren’t we?”

You nod. “We are.”

“When are you leaving?”

You smile disingenuously, hoping it’ll cheer him up. It doesn’t.

“Tomorrow.”

Chan is crying, there’s no denying it now, no chalking it up to sniffles. Tears, turning yellow from the sun behind Judas’ back, trail down his cheeks and he wipes them aggressively, but they just keep coming. Deep, despaired moans bounce off the ceiling and walls of the church.

“Can I-?” Chan begins, unable to form words between his heart-rattling sobs. “I just- I need to-”

“Yes,” you say, and there’s not a single doubt in your mind, that this is what you both want, as you take a step forward and pull his lips into yours.

Chan’s lips taste like every color of Judas, of blue, of yellow, of gray, of green. Salt hits your tongue when his tears trail down to where you’re connected, and he’s still crying into the kiss, hands finding your waist and clutching so, so hard.

“Please don’t cry,” you whisper in between kisses, “you’re gonna make me cry.”

“I’m sorry,” he says, but he doesn’t stop. He’s too caught up in memorizing the way your body feels under his hands, the way you’re moving against him, the way you’re pulling him by the collar of his clerical shirt, and how your nose feels shoved into his.

His warm hands slide your shirt upwards, burning against your newly exposed skin. You pull away only to tug it over your head. Chan whimpers when he sees your chest, cupped by your bra and he pulls you into his chest to unhook the back, head looming over your shoulder. Ear pressed to his neck, you can feel the way it contracts, when he hiccups.

As soon as he’s done, straps sliding gently down your arms, you’re pouncing on each other again, lips meeting rhythmically in the blued sunlight. Blindly, you’re unbuttoning his clerical shirt, fingers shaking against his chest. His hands clasp over yours soothingly, urging you to slow down.

The whole ordeal is strangely silent, even Chan has stopped crying now, and the only sounds filling the church are the brush of fabric and your muffled moans into each other’s mouths. You’re whining though, when his shirt finally pushes off his shoulders and his torso is right in front of you and under your hands.

You whimper at the sight alone, running your hands over his arms and over his chest down to his abs. Chan smirks at you. “I knew you liked it,” he mumbles to himself, almost childishly.

This comment slows you down, as you’re pulling back to laugh, and you’re both shirtless in front of each other, hearts huge and glowing. Chan smiles at you adoringly while you laugh, face scrunched up and eyes crescents.

“You can’t say that when I’m trying to fuck you,” you say finally, hair a mess on your head and lips pursed to keep yourself from laughing again. Chan loves your dumb face. He takes your hands in his and rubs the palms with his thumbs. “I know.”

“Can I-?”

“Yes,” you whisper, agreeing before he can even get it out. Chan nods and holds you, gently guiding you onto the floor, where your entire body is marbled by the light hitting the glass. Chan stands over you for a moment.

“You’re just gonna stare at me?” you joke, but your arms are sneaking their way up your torso. “Yeah,” Chan responds, but he’s already kneeling down in front of you, moving your arms away.

“You are so beautiful,” he says it as if it almost pains him, but he’s straddling you and fumbling with your jean-buttons, beginning the tedious task of peeling them off your legs. You want to say something snarky, but he has you breathless and blushing, all you can muster is a meek: “Thank you.”

He looks up from his work on your jeans at that, smiling at you fondly.

You kick your jeans off your legs, while he begins to undo the buckle of his own pants, shoving them down his legs at the first opportunity. You’re both almost naked, you in your panties and him in his boxers, and you’re wondering why he’s showing no signs of moving them off you, dick hard and scorching fucking hot against your clothed core. Then he plants his arms on either side of your head, and rolls his hips into yours.

The moan you let out is coming from deep in your fucking soul. Only something godly could pull that out, you decide, sopping fucking wet from the star-like heat it has against you. “You sound so pretty,” he whimpers and does it again. Then again and again and again, and you’re arching your back and the both of you are moaning and groaning, filling the church with humidity.

“Chan,” you muster, sounding on the verge of tears. His head is lowered onto your breasts, panting hard into the impossibly soft skin. “I-Inside. Now.”

Chan wants to say something sexy, but he’s so desperate for you, that all he can manage is: “I agree.”

He’s scrambling wildly to tear his boxers off and you do the same, lifting your hips to remove your drenched panties from your core. When you’re left bare, he lets out a choked moan, because immediately your hole clenching and gushing slick onto the tiled floor. The church floor, no less.

“So fucking beautiful, and mine. Belongs to me,” he babbles, eyes wounded, but fingers spreading your folds open, as he lowers his head to remark on them. You mewl, fingers clawing at his shoulders. “Miss you,” you squall and he looks up at your face again. “Okay,” he responds, body moving back up to your face. Then he mutters against your lips: “Miss you too.”

He’s kissing you again, so warm and wet in your mouth and humming into you. You claw at his back and whine wildly, when his hand steers his dick through your folds, lubricating itself in your plentiful wetness.

He pulls away and you chase after him with sorrowful eyes. “I need to see your face when I push in,” he explains very sincerely, and you somehow understand that, yes, he needs to see it. You nod.

Then he’s pushing into you. He bursts through your gates, all thick and veiny and totally raw against the walls of your pussy. He’s slow, studying your face tenderly for any signs of discomfort, even when he grimaces from the euphoric feeling. And God, your face is so perfect, all scrunched up and twisted in pleasure, mouth agape and eyes squeezed shut. He will remember it forever.

He’s rocking in and out of you, and it’s slow, and it’s love, and it’s mature, and you’re moaning simultaneously, foreheads pressed together, as he fucks you into the floor.

“Are you close, darling?” he pants against your cheek and you nod, because you are. Because it feels like your body has been working its way up to this final point, and every other milestone has just been a hillpeak on the way to a mountain. “Yes, yes, yes, I am.”

“Good, so good for me,” he’s speeding up just a little bit, working the two of you closer and gaining leverage from his bruising grip on your hips. Your hand slides up his neck, from where he’s nuzzled into the side of your nose, and you whisper breathlessly in his ear: “Please cum inside, please, please.”

And Chan’s head spins at that, thrusting so hard you’re entire body jerks. You, all filled with his kids, all soft and big stomached. The thought has his thrusts - now quite swift - becoming sloppy and has him spurting cum. You come at the feeling of him spurting inside you, spluttering you full of white seed, so much that it’s spilling out at the base of his cock.

You’re both stilling, bodies expanding eagerly for air, and he’s still so close to you, still inside you, still buried in your hair, nose huffing breaths into your ear. The church is so painfully quiet, you begin to hear your own heartbeat. This was it. This was the narrow end. There was no other way.

Lying your head on the tile and tilting it, so your eyes dance over the floor beneath you, you realize that Judas is no longer the artwork, no longer the masterpiece: It’s you and Chan on the floor, arching into each other and bathed in his light. To an unknowing outsider, the expressions you carry would also seem misplaced, just like Judas had to you. But you both know, still clinging onto each other like angels that flutter from the sky and into hell, that it was because of the end you had ensured for each other.

“I love you.”

Chan whispers the words into your neck, voice thick. You realize he’s crying again, because you feel burning hot tears dribble down your neck, and his shoulders are shaking. You curl your arms around him.

“I know. I’m sorry. I love you too.”

#svt smut #svt x reader #svt chan x reader #svt dino x reader #svt chan smut #svt dino smut #svt angst #svt chan angst #chan x reader #chan angst #lee chan x reader #lee chan smut #lee chan angst

354 notes · View notes

strniohoeee · 3 months

Note

Please could you write something based off 13 going on 30? I love your writing💕

Au Revoir

Pairing: Chris Sturniolo X Female Reader

Synopsis: Rummaging through her old collection of photos for a work campaign, Y/N enters a time capsule. And her one mission is to find the boy she once called her best friend☁️

Warnings⚠️: NONE, I lovedddd this idea sooo much, and I tried to make it as long and cohesive as possible LOLL. The whole wishing dust thing is a bit unrealistic, so I tried to make it as real as possible🤞🏽

Song for imagine: Vienna- Billy Idol, Crazy for You- Madonna

You’re gonna kick off

Before you even get halfway through

When will you realize, Vienna waits

For you?

“Enough with the embarrassing photos of me, I’m on a mission here” I said snatching the photo book from my friends hands

“What is even the project? I’m confused” she said rolling her eyes

“My boss wants us to be more authentic with our work. Our covers are becoming a bit too. What's the word?? Cliche? And unrealistic. So I figured I’d dip into my high school pile of photos” I replied looking through my pictures

“You’re a magazine company not a school yearbook committee” She replied laughing

“Okay…but we target towards young adults high school through college years” I said to her huffing

“Well how about your yearbook?” She suggested rummaging through the box

“Oh duh! Why didn’t I think about that” I said placing the photos down

She cracked open my high school and middle school yearbook. Slipping her fingers through the pages as she giggled.

Her mouth dropped and she gasped

“Holy shit” she said flipping the book around to show me

“What?” I said squinting at the book

“Chris sturniolo babes” she said dropping the book on my lap

I grabbed the book, ghosting my finger over the page. My mind immediately raced as the memories rushed in. I hadn’t seen or spoken to Chris in 12 years. I was 25 now and I honestly forgot all about him.

“It’s just Chris” I said looking up at her

“Yeah your ex best friend who’s famous with his brothers and living in LA just like you” she replied in a duh tone

“Okay? And?” I replied placing the year book down on my lap

“Well he’s also a photographer, so I’m sure he could really help you with this. I mean this project is due in a month. I say reach out to him” she said shrugging

“Reach out to him? He doesn’t want to see me” I said shaking my head

“Why not?” She said furrowing her brows

Flashback

*snap* *snap*

“Chris! No more photos please” I said laughing and pushing him away

“Off guard pictures are the best! They show their true beauty” he said looking down at his camera

“Yeah right” I said bumping his shoulder with mine as we walked down the halls

“Y/N! I heard you were having a party tonight, and we really want to go, but Ms. Teller assigned us this huge project due Monday” Jessica said coming up to us

“Oh man that sucks” I said opening my locker and looking at her

“Josh even said he wanted to go too, but he’s coming over to help us with this project” she replied twirling her hair

“Oh umm I can do the report for you guys and have it ready for tonight” I replied shutting my locker

“PERFECT! We’ll be there” she said winking

“Oh please” Chris groaned

“Shut up loser” she said snapping at Chris

“Whatever, Y/N I’m going to head to the main office to get my new assignment” he replied

“Do whatever you want Chris it’s not like she needs a play by play” Jessica said rolling her eyes at Chris, I giggled a bit before offering Chris a sympathetic smile

He rolled his eyes and walked away.

“Okay so we’ll be there by 7?” She asked

“7 is perfect” I replied smiling at her

She nodded her head and she and her group left.

I met up with Chris at the exit as we walked home together.

“I don’t know why you want to be their friend they’re just using you” he replied as we walked down the street

“No they’re not! They’re my friends” I said sucking my teeth at him

“Yeah and pigs can fly” he said rolling his eyes

We got to our houses that were next to each other.

“I’ll see you tonight?” I asked him

“You sure will” he said before winking at me

“Perfect” I said stepping onto my lawn

“Arrivederci” Chris said waving

“Au Revoir” I replied waving back

We parted ways and I got to working on Jessica and her group's report. Finishing within two hours and beginning to get ready for my party.

Chris came over at 6:45 and we went down to my basement. Put some music on and add the last bit of snacks to the table.

“Oh god you’re even dressed like them” he said looking at me fully

“Am not! I just like fashion” I said rolling my eyes

“Yeah sure” he said rolling his eyes

“Chris just play nice please” I said looking at him

“Will do” he said throwing his hands up

The bell rang and I jumped up heading upstairs to let them in. Jessica, her group and Josh came. I ushered them downstairs and we sat around talking, laughing and eating.

“Y/N I’m going to get my camera” Chris told me as I was talking to Josh

“Do whatever you want Chris I don’t need a play by play” I responded, everyone laughed and I smiled at their reactions.

Chris scoffed, stomping up the stairs and out the door.

“So Y/N how about we play 7 minutes in heaven. And you get to go first” Jessica said grabbing my hand so I can stand up

She walked me over to my closet, opening the door as I got in

“I hear Josh wants to go first” She said in a whisper

“No way” I said giggling

“Way” she responded

“Oh and before I forget where’s the report? Thank you so much for doing it” she said smiling at me

“It’s on the table by the stairs” I said, she nodded and shut the door

I stood in the closet while I waited for Josh. Anxiously waiting for him as I had my back to the door. Suddenly I heard footsteps and my heart started racing.

The door opened and I turned around

“What took you so-“ but I cut myself off once I realized it was Chris at the door

“Chris? Where’s Josh? Where’s everybody” I said pushing him out the way and stepping out

“They left” he said

“What did you do?” I replied in anger

“I didn’t do anything! They just left” He replied

“God Chris! Just leave” I said looking back at him

“What? What did I do?” He said concerned and saddened

“JUST GO OKAY I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN” I yelled at him and pointed to the stairs

Chris hung his head low and walked away leaving me in anger. That was the last time I ever spoke to Chris….

Flashback Over

“Let’s just say I wasn’t the nicest person ever” I replied shaking my head

“I’m sure it’s water under the bridge, but you’re about to be late it’s 11” she said looking down at her phone

“Oh shit” I said, jumping up and grabbing my phone, purse and keys.

Running out my apartment and to my car, hopping in and basically speeding to work.

I rushed up to my office placing my purse down and sitting in my chair. The phone calls and emails started as soon as I opened my desktop.

*knock* *knock*

“Come in” I called out as my fingers typed faster against the keyboard

“Good morning Y/N, I have some messages for you and Rachel wants to know if you’re still on for lunch tomorrow?” My assistant Vicky asked me

“Place them there for me, and yes tomorrow at 1:30 works perfect” I replied looking down at my calendar sitting on my desk

“Is there anything I can get for you?” She asked me

“Actually there is one thing! There’s this person I need you to find. His names Christopher Sturniolo, I need his phone number” I said to her

“On it” she replied before walking out the room

My mind raced as I tried to focus on my emails and calls. Maybe this was a bad idea? Contacting someone who I haven’t seen in 12 years especially after being a bitch to them made me uneasy. However my thoughts were pushed away when Vicky walked back in

“ so I found one phone number online and it happens to be his parents so when I called them, I told them that it was very urgent and that I was with debt collectors, so they gave me his phone number and his new address” she said handing me the paper

“Holy shit! You’re heaven sent! Thank you” I replied as I grabbed the paper from her hand

I finished my day of work at about 5, clocking out and rushing to the parking lot. I put in Chris' address and surprisingly it wasn’t far from me or my job. About 30 minutes?

Once I was on the freeway I started to have second thoughts, but there was physically and mentally no turning back now. After what felt like eons I arrived at the apartment complex. Super boujee might I add. I parked in the visitors area and looked for his building number

“Building 9” I said as I walked past 7 and 8

Opening the door and walking into the massive apartment unit.

“Whewww okay unit number 102, floor 4” I say with a shaky breath

I got in the elevator hitting floor 4 as my breathing got shaky. Stepping out and following the arrows to the 100’s.

“99,100,101,102” I replied looking to my right, fuck I thought

I slid the paper in my purse as I inhaled sharply. Wiping my sweaty palms on my slacks as I brought my fist up to the door.

*knock* *knock* *knock*

I stepped back a bit as I waited for someone to come to the door. Within seconds the door opened and my heart started racing even faster.

“Woah” he said confused

“Chris?” I said tilting my head a bit

“Yeah?” He replied confused as ever

“You’re so different” I said smiling a bit

“Yeah…” he stated as he scratched the back of his neck

“You don’t know me?” I ask a little hurt

“I mean I don’t blame you! I wasn’t the nicest, and I haven’t seen you or spoke to you in 12 years” I said rambling nervously

“Y/N….Y/N Y/L/N” he said as his face softened

“Yes! It’s me” I said to him

“Hey” he said

I immediately hugged him, not realizing what I was doing.

“Uhh come on in” he said stumbling back a bit

I let go of him looking at him shyly before stepping in.

His apartment clattered in cameras and pictures everywhere. Stepping further into his living room as I looked around

“Still taking pictures?” I said smiling at the wall

“Uhh yup helps pays the bills” he said awkwardly

“Uhh…hey Y/N why are you here?” He asked confused and blinking at me

“I’m sorry I just….I just came across our yearbooks and realized how long it’s been” I said tucking my hair behind my ear

“We’re not friends anymore, you can’t just drop by like nothing” he said laughing awkwardly

“We were so close” I said looking at him

“Yeah we were, but not anymore” he said furrowing his brows at me

“Oh god what have I done” I said stepping back

“No it’s okay, calm down” he said sensing my anxiety

“I…I think I need some air” I said breathing heavily

“Hey it’s okay” he said looking at me

“Oh my god I need air” I said realizing how dumb this was

“Let's step outside I’ll walk you to your car” he said

I nodded my head as I followed him out the door. Walking down to my car before stopping at the hood of it.

“I mean what happened to us” I said shaking my head

“I mean we went different ways you know” he said apologetically

“No I mean what really happened to us” I said shaking my head again

“You uhh went along with those girls and I went my way” he responded

“I was so stupid, I don’t even know why I did that” I said rolling my eyes at myself

“Listen we all fall down the wrong path and it’s okay” he said

“No it’s not, and I’m sorry” I said nodding my head at him

“Don’t beat yourself up over it” he said laughing

“I wish I didn’t fall down that path and be friends with those girls” I said to him

“Nah don’t worry about it” he said waving his hand at me

“I can’t believe it’s been 12 years since I last saw you” I said to him

“If it makes you feel better I think I saw you through a frosted window one time 2 years ago” he said smiling and to this I laughed nodding my head

“It was great seeing you but uhh I got to go” he said pointing behind him

“Yeah…yeah okay” I said to him

He began to walk away before I spoke up

“Chris?” I said

“Yeah?” He replied

“Arrivederci” I replied waving at him and he smiled

“I’ll see you” he said laughing

“Chrisss” I said to him waiting for him to answer

He laughed and rolled his eyes

“Au Revoir” he replied waving at me

Chris went his way and I went mine. Getting in my car and heading back home. It wasn’t until I was home that I realized I completely forgot to ask him about the photo shoot.

A few days went by and I was sitting at a bar finishing my drink. Taking notes for my new campaign before I decided to head out.

Stepping out onto the dewey street as I pulled my phone out to order an Uber.

“Y/N?” I heard, immediately turning my head and smiling

“Oh my god. Chris! Hi” I said cracking a wide tooth smile

“Hey” I said walking over to him

“Hey, how are you?” He said smiling at me

“I’m good” I replied

“Hey I’m sorry about the other day for the awkward interaction” he said laughing

“Oh that’s alright I bombarded you” I said shooing him

“But uh what are you doing here?” I asked him

“I’m actually uh, I’m actually here with my girlfriend” he said to me looking over his shoulder as I saw a girl stepping out of a store. She walked over to us smiling

“This is Bonnie my girlfriend” he said to me

“I’m Y/N” I said a bit shocked as I shook her hand

“Aww Chris told me all about you! It’s so nice of you to stop bye” she said blinking her hazel eyes at me

“Oh no Chris is the nice one! Talking to me after so long” I replied smiling

“Are you in the influencer world too?” I asked her

“Oh no, I work in a corporate position over at HLC” she said nodding at me

“Ohhh nice nice” I said nodding my head at her

“But it was so great to finally meet you” she said smiling at me

“Likewise! I’ll let you guys go. It was great running into you” I said waving at them before walking away

Walking two blocks down before ordering my Uber. Many thoughts running through my head. Girlfriend? Since when?? He was notoriously known for being afraid of women. I guess I didn’t really know him.

I went home that night with many questions in my head and a burning desire to see Chris again. I opted for stalking his instagram. Over 2 million followers and not a single photo of Bonnie. I guess he wanted to keep it private.

My finger hovered over the message button. Chewing the inside of my lip as my thumbs swirled around. I mean I don’t want his girlfriend to think anything of it, so I closed out the Instagram app and threw my phone to the left of me.

Groaning at this new found problem I was having. I decided to let it go and move on with my life. Too scared to reach out to him I decided to take a crack at the project again.

Confused on where to start as my living room was a mess of photos and photo albums of my life. I was now at 3 weeks and I was neck deep in work not even a single idea written down.

I decided to rest it for the evening and head to bed.

A few days later in a moment of weakness I grabbed my car keys and headed over to Chris apartment. Slowly punching myself for this crazy behavior.

Knocking on his door as I picked at my fingernails.

“Okay…you’re not pizza” he said laughing at me

“Want to go for a walk?” I asked him

“Sure” he replied grabbing his house keys and shutting the door behind him

We walked throughout his apartment complex

“I can’t believe you have a girlfriend” I said laughing

“What? What’s so shocking” he said laughing

“You were known for being scared of women” I said giggling

“And I’m 25 now, times have changed” he said laughing with me

“Is she your soulmate?” I asked him

“Ehhh I don’t believe in that” he said shrugging his shoulders

“Oh come on! Does she give you butterflies? Does your skin burn when she touches you?” I said bumping his shoulder

“Oh please I don’t believe that” he said bumping me back

“So what’s the real reason you came to me the other day?” He asked me

“Well I realized I wasn't a nice person to you and my friend convinced me to reach back out to you” I said half smiling at him

“Really?” He said looking at me

“Yes and I also may need your help” I said giggling

“There’s always a but with you” he said shaking his head

“It’s a Y/N guaranteed” I said shrugging my shoulders

“So what’s this you need help with?” He asked

“Sooo my company wants us to redesign our magazine for next month, and I only have 3 weeks to finish it. We’re trying to gear more towards the younger population. After looking through our yearbooks I had an idea, and it was an idea you’d help with perfectly” I said to him

“I’m down, that sounds awesome” he said nodding his head

“You’re amazing” I said hugging him and he reluctantly hugged me back

Chris invited me back to his apartment to eat pizza and brainstorm some ideas. As we sat in his living room sharing pizza my mind began to race

“Chris, do you ever wish you could go back?” I asked him

“I wouldn’t mind going back” he said laughing

“If you were given one do over,anything in your life, what would you do?” I asked him taking a sip of my drink

“Mmm nothing” he said swallowing the bite he just took

“Really?” I said shocked

“Really” he replied nodding his head

“But did you ever make a big mistake? One that could change your life? What about that?” I asked him

“Well I’ve made many mistakes, but I don’t regret any of them” he said wiping his hands

“How come?” I asked him getting a bit sad as tears threatened to come out

“Because if I hadn’t made them, I wouldn’t have learned how to make things right” he said nodding his head

At this moment I was feeling so much regret for cutting off my best friend since birth. We shared every birthday, every holiday and every event till we were 13. And of course it was me who had to ruin it. So I truly sat here fighting back tears.

I smiled at him before looking down and taking a sharp inhale.

“I’m sorry I treated you horribly” I said licking my lips and swallowing thickly

“It’s okay” he said offering me a reassuring smile

That night we brainstormed some ideas. We also caught up on life, even cracking jokes here and there. Even though we hadn’t spoken in so long it felt like we never missed a day.

Later that week Chris met me at a park.

“Chris you made it” I said standing up and hugging him

“I wouldn’t miss this for the world” he said hugging me back

“So here’s half of your payment and the rest of it will be when you finish” I said handing him a check

“Thank you” he said grabbing the check

“No thank you” I said as we walked over to the photo shoot set up

“However I looked at your magazine and my photography style is nothing like yours” he replied looking over at me

“Exactly” I said smirking at him

We walked over to the set up and began setting all the models up. Setting everyone up how we wanted. Throwing leaves and balloons as we laughed.

Stopping to look at the shots offering my advice on how certain people should be photographed. Chris listened to me intently and the photos came out awesome.

That night we had a photoshoot again and it was prom themed. Chris was taking pictures of this one couple and he just wasn’t liking the way it was coming out

“Hey let me show you something, it seems a bit fake. We want this shoot to be fun and authentic” Chris said to the guy

He walked over to me, grabbing me.

“Wrap your hand around her waist and have her place her head on your shoulder, get close like this and just sway to the music” he said to them as he swayed us around while placing my head on his shoulder

They readjusted their positions and really enjoyed themselves.

“Perfect! Just like that” he said as he snapped some photos

Offering a smile to me as I stood on the sidelines.

Two nights later Chris and I were in his studio looking at the developed photos. His gaze on me as I glanced at the photos

“God these came out beautiful” I say running my fingers over the photos

“Yeah they came out good didn’t they” he said as his was looking at me

“I love them, do you?” I asked him

“Yeah….I do” he said pushing hair behind my ear

My breathing hitch in my throat as I tried to ignore the gesture. Not realizing what he did Chris cleared his throat

“Uh it’s getting late we should uhh we should head home” he said standing up

“You know what I wish for right now? I wish to go on a walk” I said looking at him

“Uhhh yeah sure” he said grabbing his stuff as we headed out of his studio

We walked to the park that was across the way. Walking the track as we talked about everything. Mainly about the photos because I knew they’d be a hit at the office.

“You know I’ve had a really great time working with you this week” Chris blurted out

“Me too” I replied smiling at him

We stopped at a swing set, sitting down as we swung back and forth. Enjoying the silence and the wind rustling through the trees.

“Wanna know a secret?” I said as I glanced over at him

“Yeah?” He replied looking over at me

“You’re the sweetest guy I’ve ever known” I said smiling at him

He looked down, chuckling as he smiled. Nodding his head but not sure how to go about the flirty compliment I just dropped on him.

“Alright swinging competition” I said bringing the silence

“Whoever goes the furthest the other owes a drink” I said laughing

“A Pepsi” he said laughing

“Ouu upping the stakes” I said laughing at him and he rolled his eyes

“And dinner Friday night at 8” I said to him

“You got yourself a deal” he said laughing with me

“One. Two. Three” he shouts before we jump off

Us both landing in the sand. Me ahead of him as I rolled a bit and he rolled into me.

“UHHHH” he groaned

“Are you okay?” I said laughing

“Yeah yeah I’m okay. I should’ve ducked and rolled” He said laughing

He leaned up hovering over me. Staring into my eyes as the swings creaked behind us.

“Chris” I said in a whisper

Suddenly Chris leaned down connecting our lips together. Immediate butterflies in my stomach as his hand was placed on my cheek. The kiss set me back 12 years as my mind raced.

He pulled away sitting in the sand looking into the distance as I sat up laying my head on his shoulder. Smiling sheepishly as I drew shapes into his back.

I never knew I could grow feelings for someone after not seeing them for over a decade. And I for sure didn’t expect to grow these feelings so fast.

What Y/N didn’t know was that the young man was too feeling a certain way about Y/N. His mind raced and tried to figure out what this all meant. Did he really like her or was it just actions out of pure instinct? He just knew doing this to Bonnie was wrong.

However when her hands were placed on his shoulders while he worked in his studio. He got extra happy thinking it was Y/N, but when he was met with Bonnie he felt a sense of disappointment?

Sitting at lunch with her while he mind ran rapidly. Pictures and thoughts only of Y/N eating away. Constantly having to ask Bonnie to repeat herself. Explaining he was stressed with his current workload and couldn’t focus. To Bonnie it was true but to him it was a blatant lie….

Bonnie talking about eventually moving in with Chris. Planning all these future vacations. And all Chris can think about is doing all this, but with Y/N. Feeling immediate guilt at this.

However he realized that Y/N was in his past. Yes he did have a crush on her for as long as he could remember. But she chose a different life and different friends. Simply because she came back after 12 years doesn’t mean he throws away his current life for what once was.

Chris really needed to speak with Y/N about this. They had their dinner Friday to celebrate the redesign with his photos, but he couldn’t seem to bring up the fact that what happened was a mistake.

He had gone to her office Monday morning as she was out for the day starting a new project, and it just seemed like they couldn’t catch up with each other. Missed calls from both sides and unanswered messages.

Y/N really wanted to talk to Chris too about what happened at the swing set, so she decided to head over to his apartment. Smiling the whole time because she finally realized why she should’ve never left Chris. And all these feelings were hitting her like a ton of bricks.

She knocked at his door with a wide grin waiting as she heard feet shuffling on the other side of the door.

The door swung open and to her surprise it was Bonnie.

“Hi” I said taken back

“Y/N right?” She said smiling

“Yeah!” I replied back

“I was just looking for Chris I really wanted to talk to him about something” I said looking behind her into the apartment

“Oh I’ll uh tell him you stopped by when he gets back” she said nodding at me

“Gets back?” I asked

“Oh he’s getting us dinner right now” she said nodding at me

“Oh okay” I said before stepping back

“Well bye” she said waving at me

“Bye” I said looking back at her before walking off

No matter how much we tried to communicate it was like the universe wanted to keep us apart. I shook my head, getting in my car and breaking down. Upset over ditching Chris for fake ass friends, upset for not admitting my feelings sooner, and upset that no matter how I felt Bonnie was who he wanted to be with.

The following day I paced my living room contemplating if I should even try and contact Chris again. It was a clear sign that I was not meant to be a part of his life anymore.

After some time of biting on my nails and walking back and forth I said fuck it and grabbed my keys. Getting in my car and racing to Chris' apartment.

Furiously knocking at his door praying that it was Chris on the other side and not Bonnie. Chewing my lip as I waited for him to open the door.

The door swung open and I felt immediate relief

“CHRIS” I shouted hugging him as he hugged back

“Come in” he said before shutting the door behind him

“I need to talk to you” I said to him

“Me too” he said scratching his neck

“Since that night at the park my mind has been racing with many thoughts. Thoughts I couldn’t even manage to think of, but I’m in love with you Chris” I said to him

“I…” he couldn’t even focus on what to say

“Chris, I am not the awful person that I know I was. I don’t even know that person. And I’d like to believe that if you knew that you wouldn’t be with Bonnie, but with me instead.” I said to him

“I’m not going to lie. I felt things for you these past times together that I didn’t know I could feel. But I just realized that a walk down memory lane doesn’t change the path I’m currently on” he said

“And why not?” I asked as tears stung my waterline

“Because we both moved on. We went separate ways. I chose Bonnie and I can’t just forget what her and I have” he replied

It was like daggers to my heart as I let tears fall.

“Don’t cry” he said walking up to me

“No, it’s okay I’ll be fine” I said smiling at him

“I uhh I found this picture of us from middle school and I want you to have it” he said walking over to his coffee table

I laughed a bit and wiped my eyes. He handed me the picture over. It was the both of us sitting at the beach. His arm slung over my shoulder as I made an annoyed face. It was our go to pose.

“Thank you” I said wiping my eyes again

He looked at me before swallowing thickly.

“Y/N I…..I’ve always loved you” he said looking down

My breathing caught in my throat at this.

“Fuck it! I can’t fight this feeling anymore. I love you so much and I have never been so sure about anything in my life than right now at this moment. You came in at such an unexpected time, but I want nothing more than to be with you” he said walking over to me

“Chris…” I started but he cut me off

He crashed his lips to mine wrapping his hands around my waist as our lips clashed together. My hands caressing his face as I smiled into the kiss.

Pulling away I looked at him.

“I’m so glad to be back in your life Chris” I said smiling at him

“I wouldn’t have it any other way” he stated as he kissed my forehead

Chris and I have been seeing each other for 5 months now. Breaking it off with Bonnie wasn’t easy, but he knew it had to be done. We spent so much time rekindling our friendship and taking so many pictures that now we’re clattered along his walls.

Who would’ve thought reading out to someone after 12 years would have fixed years of torture. And to that I say

Au Revoir

The End

God damn my thumbs hurt from all this writing, but I hope you enjoyed this! I wrote this as I watched 13 going on 30. It’s my comfort movie😩😩. Were so close to 1,900 followers and I’m so shook I love yall 🥹🖤🖤

-J💅🏽

#sturniolo triplets #sturniolo x reader #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo triplets imagines #christopher sturniolo imagine #chris sturniolo imagine #chris sturniolo x reader

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anopenbookunderlockandkey · 4 months

Text

The 118 Sauce Chat

Eddie: I definitely make spaghetti sauce extremely wrong but I’m not going to stop

Chim: please elaborate on the wrong way to make spaghetti sauce; it sounds highly entertaining?

Eddie: 1 chop onion and put in a pot

Eddie: Add 1 or 2 cans of diced tomatoes. Whatever makes the ratio of onion look right.

Eddie: Add a ridiculous amount of frozen peas. Peas should make up a notable portion of this sauce.

Eddie: Add frozen corn also if you wanna be real fancy. If I have bacon I’ll ad that too. But I very rarely have bacon.

Eddie: Cook on HIGH

Eddie: While sauce is cooking, grab the nearest bottle of mixed spices that isn't obviously for desserts. Add some. How much? I dunno, enough that you feel like you've added seasoning so it's technically cooking. (For me this is most often a mix called Moroccan, but it could be anything. Buck reorganised my kitchen recently so tonight it was something called Pizza Topping.)

Eddie: If you happen to have green herbs lying around, add those too. Whatever you have on hand that's green

Eddie: Let the sauce boil on HIGH until all the water is gone. Stir occasionally so the saucepan will be easier to clean later. Serve on cooked spaghetti noodles with no cheese

Eddie: Today I added a new step called "while the sauce is cooking, duck out for 15 seconds to text the group chat about spaghetti sauce, then get distracted and forget you are cooking." This adds a novel Extremely Burnt edge to the flavour profile.

Chim: I am not Italian, or of Italian descent by *any* stretch of the imagination.

I am also not one of those "cooking purists", who believes that everything must be done in a specific/ traditional way (unless you are making a cooking video with the title "how to make x" in which case if you don't specify mid video that your way is not traditional god help you).

I am a firm believer in "If it tastes good, then it is correct for you".

Chim: Except in this case

Bobby: This hurts every cooking bone in my body. The latent ancestors in my soul. The judgmental elf in my brain just bit a cyanide capsule

Hen: Why? The spices.

Using a different spice mix every time, based on what is ready at hand just ... hurts

Eddie: *sends SPICE IS SPICE meme*

Ravi: absolutely deranged, Eddie. Food crimes.

Bobby: Hey Eddie, looks like you forgot to mention the part where you obviously sweated the onions, because nobody would make spaghetti sauce that had straight up raw onions boiled in tomato juices.

Bobby: RIGHT????

Bobby: Please Eddie

Eddie: I don’t know what sweating the onions means

Hen: It means. It means you cook em a little in a pan with a bit of oil first

Eddie: A pan? How many dishes do you want me to have to wash here?

Hen: I mean you can also do it in the same pot you're making the spaghetti sauce in! The important thing is the onions get a little cooked before the wet stuff goes in, so they're not so wet and limp and boiled....

Eddie: Honestly this depends entirely on whether I remember to chop an onion first or I find the can opener for the tomatoes first. The ingredients go in in whatever order they go in.

Ravi: Eddie, who hurt you???

Eddie: A pack of wild chefs herded my mother off a cliff

Chim: Theres probably a hit out on you for this

Eddie: What kind of stupid idiot would waste money assassinating someone who's so clearly going to accidentally poison themself for free at some point

Bobby: hi Eddie, big fan of your firefighting, this is the sauce equivalent of the running up a metal ladder in a lightning storm to try to pull up a 6’0” tall man instead of lowering him to the ground

-Athena

Eddie: Athena, that is the meanest review my cooking has ever received

Chim: congratulations you found the worst way to do it! this feels like a spaghetti recipe made by AI before it got really sophisticated

-Maddie

Eddie: this group chat’s hate mail game is insane

Ravi: at this point please just eat every ingredient raw… please

Eddie: Do I look like Tony Abbott to you

Buck: As a former Committer of Food Crimes, I have decided to make this sauce this weekend after I have a chance to go to the store. I will report back.

Eddie: Excellent, I look forward to vindication.

Hen: No one's going to vindicate your boiled onion in cinnamonny tomato juice on noodles, Eddie

Eddie: Not cinnamon. Cinnamon is a dessert spice. You use the nearest non-dessert spice.

Ravi: cinnamon is absolutely not a dessert spice

Eddie: Yes it is! It's for muffins and pancakes and fruit pies!

Chim: Cinnamon powder is absolutely a dessert “spice” and Eddie if your cooking is this bad I can’t imagine your baked abominations

Eddie: I put lemon juice in everything I bake that isn't bread

Written for the only two gremlins (endearment) who find this as entertaining as I do @professionalprocrastinator22 and @gravelyhalversobbing

Inspired by:

#things i decided i could make about 911 #Eddie diaz commits food crimes #Buck is his accomplice #buddie fic #911 fic #911 fanfic #text fic #incorrect 911 quotes #911 abc #911 fox

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weixuldo · 9 months

Text

Allow me// ch 8

Vader x Reader

a/n: so sorry for the wait on this chapter- ive been on vacation this past week oops! But never the less, HERE IT IS!! hehe just a reminder, Vader has become more vulnerable with his emotions in his older age (just as he began to open up to luke in rotj) so if he seems too “kind” or “emotional”, that’s why. I hope that doesn’t ruin him for u :( but trust- he will have some iconic Vader moments later on in the series....

You get a strange visitor looking for some comfort.

warnings: cursing, anxiety, self hatred/loathing, cannon disabled character, emotional vulnerability

_____________________

Your admission to Lord Vader came as a relief; he held out a small shred of hope that you would accept his offer, but he wasn't too sold on the fact that you would actually agree. So when you did, his heart fluttered.

In the weeks following the encounter, he became much more present in your daily life.

Before the standard day started you would often wander into his quarters and feel out his location throughout the force (though you knew he was intentionally putting out a special signal just for you).

After shifts were done you would have debriefing chats with him, which mainly consisted of random conversations and his adorably flustered comments about or to you.

In your earlier days of working for the sith, you always assumed he was busy every minute of the day; he always seemed in a hurry when he strutted down the cold halls.

But as he dedicated more and more time to you, you found that it wasn’t the case.

Yes, he did have a great many things to do, but he was quite proficient at his job; after all, he had been doing it for over a decade.

Anyways, who would dare attempt to question him about his whereabouts other than the emperor?

No one.

He was one of the two most feared men in the galaxy- he would be just fine if someone noticed him spending more time with the mechanic than usual.

In the more recent days he had been inviting you to join him in his meditation chamber for some peaceful time away from curious workers.

You would enter the chamber as if you were going to work on his pod but you would actually just wait until he came in a while later.

The pod was small and truly only built to accommodate his large frame, so when you were there he would take a seat then call for you to climb onto his lap.

Once you were settled he motioned for the chamber to close so the only thing to focus on were the two of you in the small capsule.

Once you were in there it seemed much more spacious than the outside portrayed, his seat was soft and so were his thighs (apparently, they were one of the only parts of him that was left human).

You would sit in his lap and rest your head on his chest or straddle his lap to speak with him face to face (or…rather face to helmet).

Though you had basically proclaimed yourself to the Sith and spent a multitude of time with the man, you never were awarded the gift of seeing his uncovered face.

It wasn’t for your lack of trying, but most times he would respectfully decline or attempt to divert your attention.

__________________

Today Vader had been pretty busy, so after your shift you just went back to your chambers and got ready for bed.

You drifted in and out of sleep for a few hours until you heard a knock at your door.

Who could that be? It was the middle of the night.

The tile was cool beneath your feet as you gathered a blanket around your shoulders and headed for the door. You clicked on a lamp that lit the room with a warm glow.

You were barely to the door when it swooshed open to reveal a familiar figure; you tilted your head to the side with a confused look.

“Vader?”

He looked down and asked “may I come in?”.

You nodded, allowing him to enter and closing your door, “Is something wrong?” you asked, thinking something needed fixing.

“No, no. Everything is alright. I just wanted to see you” he admitted, standing awkwardly in the middle of your room.

Your shoulders relaxed when you realized it wasn’t an emergency and you smiled, “well here I am! it’s nice to see you, i missed you today ”.

You walked to your bed and patted the space beside you; he sat next to you but continued to look forward.

“Are you sure everything is alright?”.

He sighed, “It’s my master. He is asking me to have an audience with him tomorrow”.

Your brows furrowed, didn’t they meet often? Why was this perplexing him so much?

“What's so bad about that?” you asked innocently.

“He thinks I have made a mistake. I worked with an enemy- well, not really an enemy, just someone who isn’t on the empire’s side” he explained, resting his head in his hands.

You rubbed his back and decided it best not to pry, “I’m sorry Vader, Is there anything I can do?”.

He was thankful you didn’t ask details- you comforted him so well.

If he were to explain why teaming up with Sabe was so problematic he would have to explain who Sabe was to Padme and why Padme was important.

The stress of facing his master tomorrow was far too taxing to also reveal his past to you; he couldn’t do that tonight.

“No, but I appreciate the offer,” he said.

Silently, you knelt on your bed and wrapped your arms around him, holding him close in your warm embrace. No words were exchanged, yet you could feel his exhausted relief from your touch.

You opted to rest your head on his shoulder as you rubbed your thumb over his bicep. His heart cried as you held onto him- he hadn’t felt this safe in years; he didn’t want you to let go. He reached for your free hand and held it tight.

“Thank you, y/n” he said as you sat back and he finally faced you.

The blanket had fallen from your shoulders and your sage green nightgown was now visible; it wasn’t scandalous or anything crazy, but he couldn’t take his eyes off of you. Your beauty was eminent and demanded his attention.

“It’s alright, Vader. I just want you to be ok” you spoke.

His heart yearned for you and the love he knew you would give, but how could he have you when being with him would just put you in danger?

“I haven't felt that in so long…” he trailed off.

What hadn’t he felt? You became confused by his words.

He turned to look into your eyes, “I haven’t felt cared for. Truly cared for”.

His voice wavered and you gave him a sad smile before resting a gentle hand on the side of his helmet.

“I do care.. So, so much”

His breathing filled the otherwise silent room as he placed a gloved hand over yours.

“I know you do”

You looked over at your clock and it was in the early hours of the morning now, you were tired and he probably was too.

“It’s late. Why don’t you stay for a while? We can lay down.” you offered, reclining on your bed.

Any other night he would have politely declined, not wanting to get more attached than he already was, but tonight he needed someone.

Without hesitation he agreed and took his place beside you in your large bed (another perk of being Darth Vader’s personal mechanic, you got an upgraded room).

He grunted as he laid down, his armor poking into his body irritably.

You gently tapped his shoulder and offered him a solution to make him more comfortable, “Why don’t we take some of your armor off? Wearing that can’t be pleasant”.

He agreed and allowed you to help him unlatch his stiff guarding. Once it was all off, he laid on his back and you scooted closer to him and laid your head on his chest above his chest box.

“Vader- will I ever see your face?” you asked out of the blue after a few minutes of lying with the Sith.

You felt him shift under you, “Why would you want to see that?” he sounded genuinely confused.

You gazed up at him, “because, I want to appreciate your beauty. ”

“There is nothing beautiful under this mask, I assure you. You are all the beauty we need here” he said, lying his head back down.

“Plus you already see me.”

You frowned, of course you heard the stories of vader being more machine than man, but you didn’t care.

“I see your suit- the same suit everyone else sees. I want to see you, I want to see the man who shares these tender moments with me” you cooed , running your hand along his side.

“I am sure if you see my face, you will no longer wish to… be mine”

A bittersweet feeling washed over you: it was such a rush to hear him refer to you as “his”, but at the same time it pained you that he was so ashamed of his physical appearance that he would shield himself from everyone…including you.

“Alright, I won't keep pressuring you… I just want you to know, I would never leave you”.

At that, you could sense the smile that adorned his covered face.

You and Vader stayed like that for a while, just discussing random things that came to mind until you got on the topic of first impressions.

“As soon as I saw you I was intrigued. I could assess the physical beauty but once I found you in the hallway after your mother passed, I really saw you as another individual- not just another worker.” (Vader went on to apologize for his close minded opinions of average imperial officers).

“Huh? When I first started seeing you around, I thought you were going to kill me” you said to him as you ran your hand along his chest.

“What?” he asked, worriedly.

You sat up and tilted your head.

“Back when I had that spat with the trooper outside of your meditation chamber all that time ago. You killed them later that night- I heard it.”

“I knew I sensed you,” he said to himself.

“Yea, I couldn’t sleep, then I saw that and headed back to my room. I was sure you were going to kill me because the rumors were associating me with you.”

He tilted his head and his tone became more serious.

“I killed those troopers because they were harassing you and spreading false information, they did not deserve to be on my ship.”

“You probably could have just had them transferred. What made you angry enough to kill them though?”

“They disrespected me and they disrespected you. I could not have that. They were not even worthy of speaking your name.” he spoke with such a passion… you hadn’t seen him like this before.

Vader seemed genuinely upset that they had been bothering you for so long.

“It was alright, nothing I haven’t heard before” you offered

He turned his head towards you with an unreadable look, “as long as you are with me, acts such as those will not go unpunished”.

He was serious.

“Vader, it is alright, they’re just scummy people anyway-”

He gently took your hands into his and looked into your eyes, “That is not alright. Allow me to do these things for you. Allow me to protect you”.

Maker, he really did care about you.

You offered a small smile, “I will allow it, only because it was you that asked”.

He seemed to relax at your blessing.

“But I want you to know I don’t need protection, I’m a big girl, I can handle myself” you joked which garnered a smile from the man beside you under his helmet.

“Of course, my dear” he confirmed as he gently brushed his thumb over your cheek.

Never in a million years would Vader have thought that he could be this intimate with someone again; only a few years ago he would have laughed in your face if you told him he would be able to feel this way again.

His past haunted him in his early years of his time as a Sith, which made him cold and ruthless.

But as the years went by and he grew older he became a little less harsh (though he would never admit it).

Maybe he missed feeling wanted or appreciated or maybe it was because he genuinely wanted you- after all, he couldn’t imagine feeling this way for anyone else he had met as Vader.

On the other side of things you never imagined that the feared Sith could be so gentle and kind.

He was still an intimidating figure, but you felt so safe with him- so cared for.

His emotions were so strong that you trusted he would do what he said he would.

You wanted him to know that you were here out of genuine interest, not a scheme to access his power or to use him… you could imagine others in the past had attempted to cultivate meaningless relationships with the agenda of abusing his influence.

“V” you called, shortening his name.

You turned your head to look his way but found him already gazing at your beautiful face.

“V?” he asked.

A blush crept up your cheeks and you shyly smiled, “Yea, it's an endearment, is it alright?”.

“It is quite alright” he confirmed, which brought a smile to your face.

“Alright” you smiled

“I just wanted to let you know…” you trailed off as you traced your fingers down his chest and around his chest box.

“I am here because I care for you deeply- I have no other motives other than the own interests of my heart.”

You paused for a moment and he sat there bewildered at your bluntly honest statement.

“I want to see you, V” you said softly, looking into his lenses.

“I do not want to burden your beautiful eyes with my hideous face”.

Your heart fell, “You are not hideous, there is no possible way…” you said, hoping to reassure the man.

“My dear, you have no idea what you would be seeing,” he said sadly.

“But I do- I would be seeing the face of a man who has shown me nothing but kindness, the man who has looked out for me when no one else would, the man who sees himself in me”.

With a brush of your hand against his chest and your endearing words, something in the Sith caved. How could he keep denying you?

Eventually you would see him, being his personal mechanic and all, so why not just rip the bandaid off now?

He sighed and nodded his head, “Alright, but I cannot be without it for long- my lungs aren’t suited for it” he seemed almost embarrassed.

“I know your meditation chamber is pressurized, would that allow you to keep it off a little longer?” you asked, standing from the bed.

“Yes? But we cannot go there now, not like this” he motioned to your nightgown and his unarmored body.

“I wasn't suggesting that'' you laughed as you dug through your tool bag on the floor.

“What are you up to?” he inquired as you tinkered away at a switch near the door. Soon there was a noise that sounded like a vacuum seal.

A smile dawned your face as you looked up towards the vents and stood; you checked the screen near your bed and pointed towards it, “I was working on that”.

Vader looked at the stat’s screen and saw the air pressure level had increased.

“You did that just now?” he asked, amazed.

“Yes” you smiled, taking your spot back on the bed with him.

“I would go to extreme lengths to be able to bask in your presence” you said as dramatically as you could; a stupid grin plastered on your face as you awaited his response.

His head tilted to the side as he moved his hand to the side of your face, “I do not deserve your kindness, y/n.” he said sadly.

Cool air brushed against your cheek as he began to remove his hand, but before he left entirely, you placed your own hand over his and returned him to your cheek.

“You deserve every ounce,” you responded.

He exhaled and drew your hand to his chest.

“I will ask one final time, do you truly want to see me?” his voice wavered.

“Yes, I do”

“I understand if you wont want to hold this position anymore after this- But I just don’t want you to be afraid of me” he rambled.

“V, I never want to leave your side, you won’t scare me…I promise”

He relaxed at your words and nodded.

“Alright”.

***

a/n: lots of exposition… but he’s abt to take a huge step 😭 he’s whipped frrrr- also the bit abt sabe is a nod to what’s coming up soon (the thing about including the vader and palpating comic- cause the whole reason vader was punished was cause he helped Sabe) I HOPE YOU ENJOY!!!

taglist: @vadersassistant @sxoulohvn @khaleesihavilliard @kashasenpai @darling-murdock @beautifulbearpolice @salvatoresister1 @lune-de-miel-au-paradis @blueninjablade3 @jujuba096 @missmannequin @jellydodger @mirastark @wyvernthekriger @duckyhowls @monada43 @lauriidoesstuff @vienettacream @ray-rook @itswhatever06 @ilovenielperry

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