my agab is F: fucker, failure, or faggot depending on which one is funnier to the situation
if you are part of the queer community you may add “fabulous” before any of the aforementioned terms but if you use it and you shouldn’t, i automatically morph into Ferocious Fighter and it’s your ass
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film MY FAKE BOYFRIEND with Keiynan Lonsdale
My IG : https://www.instagram.com/popandfilms/
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More Great MLM Ship Dynamics
Person A: B and I are NOT dating.
Person C: You are LITERALLY holding B’s hand RIGHT NOW.
Person A: What are you, the dating police?
Person A: Happy 1 year anniversary!
Person B: Wait... we’re dating?
Person A: Fuck you!
Person B: Fuck you!
Person A: Fuck you!
Person B: Fuck you!
Person A: David’s Dive Bar. 7 o’clock. Don’t be late.
Person A: I have a cold! This is the worst thing to happen ever in the history of mankind!
Person B: I dunno. I think a few of the victims of the Salem Witch Trials might disagree with you on that one.
Person A: I’m going to take you out! (threat)
Person B: Sweet! I’ll pick you up at 8!
Person A: Wait, what? That’s not what I meant!
Person B: I’ll call and get us a reservation. You find something nice to wear.
-hours later-
Person A: *standing outside their house in the nicest thing they own*
Person A: Why can’t there be more gay superheroes?
Person B: Think about it, all those men running around in tights and spandex leaving VERY little to the imagination. Those poor queer heroes wouldn’t be able to think straight with all those hunky men flying around in what’s basically stylish gimp suits.
Person A: Mother, I have no desire to court ladies.
Lord Stuffington: Believe me, we know. How many stable hands, footmen, and “actors” have we caught in our son’s bed?
Lady Stuffington: 13 dear. That we know of.
Person A: When was the last time you got a full night’s rest?
Person B: Who are you, my doctor?
Person A: The world is darkness. Existence is suffering. And the universe has a super fucked up sense of humor.
Person A: But this person? This one right here? He is made of sunshine. And if you do anything to hurt my sunshine.
Person A: I will send you to the void.
Person A: *the feral gremlin*
Person B: *the one holding the leash*
Person A: The hell is this?
Person B: It’s called AFFECTION.
Person A: Gross.
Person B: Do you want me to stop?
Person A, tearing up: Don’t you dare.
*A shirtless Person A appeared!*
Person C: A, put a shirt on!
Person A: I’d love to, but all of my shirts have disappeared.
Person B: *shoving A’s shirts into the dirty laundry basket* what a mystery. tragic really.
Person A: I can’t wait for you to meet my son.
Person B: Oh... you have kids? I didn’t realize...
Person A: Don’t worry, you’ll love him.
Person B: I dunno, I’m not really great with kids. It’s kinda-
Person A, carrying a cat: Tada!
Person B: That’s a cat.
Person A: Yes! This is Max. Say hello.
Person B: Hey, Max. Guess I’m your new stepdad.
Max: *meows*
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nothing quite like the formative gay experience of listening to music with your crush and "I kissed a girl" comes on and he looks you dead in the eyes during the chorus and says "i actually don't think I'd like it [kissing a girl] very much" and you think about this daily but he does not remember in the slightest
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