Our good friend Johnathan is waiting 😭
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Something that always breaks my heart is how during the House of Hades Nico is described as smiling and grinning actually pretty often, but later on in his pov he mentions that it's hard for him to do that, or really emote as a general.
Which means my poor most specialest little boy in the whole world Nico di Angelo was constantly going out of his way to mask and smile at the rest of The Seven even though he didn't know them basically at all.
And he had also just gone through literal hell while everybody except his sister was super rude to him the entire time.
And the whole time they are all just thinking about how he looks creepy when frowning but that they prefer that because his smile is even creepier.
They are all so mean to him whyyyyy
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reading your eiffel posts feels like you have access to another plane where you get to observe him and take notes to bring back to us. factually correct information with such detail that surely could only be gleaned after spending hours in his presence.
this is such a sweet and funny thing to say, thank you!! that is kinda how it feels sometimes. i wouldn't claim to speak for eiffel or to know his innermost thoughts beyond a shadow of a doubt, but he does feel like a person i know well enough to make an educated guess. so often i will see things online and think 'i should show that to eiffel' as if that's a reasonable, feasible thing, like, he just exists in the same part of my brain i use to think about real life people that i actually know. and that explains at least a few things that are wrong with me.
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i love satosugu
have i watched/read jjk? no
do i remember the names of the characters? no
do i know what happened with them? no
do i even know who is sato and who is sugu? no
but i’ve seen so many edits of them that i have no choice but to love and ship them. any ship that can be edited with like half of taylor swift discography has my respect
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i'm aroace, sex repulsed and don't get traditional romance or find the need for it, but I still often think how it would be neat to have a gf/partner for other purposes that arent romance and sexual. but it seems impossible to make someone want to date you if you take out those things????
sometimes I think it would be nice to have a gf to do cute gay cosplay photoshoots with. there would be mouth smooching and you usually can't do that with a friend and I don't really want to either, so a gf would be useful for that.
then there's hating showers because they exhaust me and it would be nice to have a gf to wash my hair and stuff for me??? can't call up a friend to do this every time I need to shower. that won't work and I doubt they'd want to/be comfortable doing that.
most friends will end up putting all their priority into their partner and/or family they create. I want someone that will make me their priority and not run off with someone else they start dating and abandon me??? something like that. their priority is cleaning our home together, hanging out together, going shopping and other domestic/partner stuff. they don't do that with someone else or use me temporarily until they can find a partner. so it's essentially dating/being partners. but it looks different from your typical expected romance and partnership.
doesn't matter how aroace I am, I have accepted that a relationship is beneficial in many ways and there's certain things that you can't expect friends to cover and they can't fill. but I have zero interest in looking for a partner in traditional ways that requires small talk/flirting/dates/etc. so that makes me realize i'll most likely not trick someone into partnering with me lmao
the internet seems to call this kind of thing "queer platonic relationship" (did I remember it right?) and you just need to find another sroace person to do it with. but either way, there's no textbook to study for how to get that and where to find these people. it seems harder than the puzzle that is regular dating tbh.
there's that saying "there's other fish in the sea" but i'm a worm in a puddle the other worms got out before they drowned. there's no fish here lmao. my options are so limited that I haven't met a single option yet in my life. there's barely any chance the first aroace person I meet irl will be compatible, or the first compatible person will accept a relationship with an aroace. you know what I mean? any other aroace that's interested in some kind of relationship/partnership and feel like you don't get that whole sea to choose from like everyone else and only have a dried up puddle? 😅
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I saw my psychiatrist on Wednesday and he seemed pretty embarrassed when I was like "And also the Victorians were right and that womb do be wandering" for about ten minutes discussing the issues I've been having with PMDD-like symptoms among other gynaecological Unpleasantness that have contributed to my overall emotional ~dysregulation, but also like... listen, buddy, I also do not want to be talking to you about this, but unfortunately the fucking thing is strangling my brain for half the month, and my brain is your department.
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Just thinking about how heartbroken Reyna must have truly been when Jason came back to Camp Jupiter and barely remembered her.
Because she met Percy, she does know that even when Juno takes your memories away, if you truly truly love and care and need another person you will be able to remember her, even if not entirely perfectly, but the memory will be there with you the whole way. Like the memory of Annabeth was with Percy.
And then Reyna sees Jason arrive with Piper, and it's okay really, it doesn't even hurt that much, she's Praetor, she has got a job to do, she cannot be getting distracted with silly little sentimental things like that.
And, okay, sure, Reyna can say, maybe Jason and her weren't that close in that sense, it's okay, but they were still good friends, co-leaders of a grand city, he still mattered a lot to her.
And same thing right, Percy did remember Nico, not that vividly or anything, but he did immediately know Nico and him knew each other from somewhere before, because The Ambassador was important to him, in a different way but still, important to Percy.
And then, Jason tells her that he didn't remember her at all, no name, no blurry face, no dreams, no voice, no vague sense that he was missing somebody from somewhere.
That he only started sorta remembering her days after he had already finished his quest, for his new patron goddess, and his new friends, at his new camp, in his new life, with his new girlfriend.
But it's fine, really, Reyna is mature, she doesn't let little things bring her down. She's roman, truly roman, daughter of a fully only Roman Goddess. She's Praetor, she's strong, she will welcome these strange Greek people into her city and throw a feast in their honour, she won't even be salty or rude about it. Really, Reyna is fine, it doesn't even hurt.
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