Ahhh got harassed by a random guy at the concert after-party could y'all just fucking not

I don't think the take away of actors being uncomfortable with the like insane mix of heightened objectification and parasocial relationships from hell because of the accessibility of the internet (for example, that Elardi fellow recently had to get legal help because he has a stalker now, which is horrendous and I feel bad for him) is to never show attraction to a public figure ever which is what some people are doing in the notes. Like attraction be it sexual, romantic, or affectionate is not inherently bad, the action you choose to take as a result of that attraction can be what's crossing a line.

The take away should be to remember that the person who's making you go 👀👀👀 is a person and A STRANGER on top of that. You literally truly know nothing about that person, and that person doesnt fucking know YOU, so why the hell would you assume a fan relationship is entitled to things of such a degree from public figures? Like idk it's so wild cause people used to thirst tweet and shit in the privacy of their lil corners of the internet but theres a wild uptick in people just straight up trying to have this shit SEEN by their faves either by directly tagging or tweeting in mass to draw attention to certain shared thoughts (especially after buzzfeed started giving people their 15min of sexual harrassment fame) cause they idk want their wattpad fantasies to come true or some shit but its sexual harassment its literally sexual harassment and it SHOULD be called out and ended and that achieved attention has exacerbated other peoples absolute lack of social boundaries.

Like other people being told they're sexy or attractive isnt necessarily bad (some people dont mind being called sexy, some do, someone expressing whether it does or doesn't should then be respected) what's bad is inherently thinking that sense of attractiveness entitles you to certain things FROM them, like say, constantly harassing famous dudes to take their shirts off, showing off their bodies when it clearly makes them uncomfortable, calling them sexually loaded shit like Daddy or Mommy or whatever when they're not comfortable with it, etc.That's no longer appreciating someones good looks or physique when THEY have made the decision to utilize either for themselves, again, its sexual harassment and a violation of personal boundaries and thats absolutely what should be called to question in our behavior as like fans of public figures.

Drink-Addled

Why can't your best friend be your soulmate?

Harry's had too much to drink, that much is clear. So has every other man apparently, because they won't respect Draco's boundaries.

Word count: 1776

--- This work was inspired by @bisexualronaldweasley ---

Read on AO3

Find the rest of my work here

-----------

Harry emerged from the toilets, wiping his damp hands on his jeans. The music thumped loudly around him, shaking the floor as the strobe lights added to the disorientating, heady vibe of the club. He searched the mass of bodies for the last of his friends standing. Hermione, Ron, and Pansy had all retired for the night. Or should he say morning?

Finally, after a minute or two, his gaze landed on a flash of white-silver hair pressed against the wall in the far corner. A broad figure loomed over Draco, speaking into his ear as the Slytherin locked eyes with Harry, flashing them wide in a helpless manner. Harry gritted his teeth, peeved at the amount of self-entitled twats that had ground their desperate bodies against his unwilling friend. Couldn't they take a hint?

He marched through the crowd, narrowly avoiding drinks in his determination. He approached the two steadily, coming up beside them and slinking his arm around Draco’s waist. The broad looked over at him, confused, as Harry pecked the blond's cheek. "Everything alright?"

Draco smiled, placing his hand on Harry’s chest. "Perfect." He mouthed over the music.

The broad shot them both an annoyed look and ambled back into the crowd. Harry dropped his arm as Draco leaned into his ear. "Thanks!" He shouted. Potter shot him a lopsided smile, taking his hand and leading them back out to the dance floor.

The two had been friends for well over a year now, and it was comfortable as they lifted their joined hands above their heads, throwing their heads back and singing along to the music. The two danced the hours away, until the club closed and they found themselves stood on the street, drunken smiles on their faces as they stumbled down the road.

"I can't believe I used to hate you." Harry giggled, his arm linked through Draco’s.

"We were both horrid gits." The blond nodded.

"Oi!"

Draco snorted. "You're gonna act innocent? You-" he jabbed his finger into Harry’s chest, "-were just as guilty as me."

"Stop being right." The darker man grumbled, his hazy gaze landing on a group of people at the end of the street. "Is that..?"

Draco followed his gaze, and cursed. There was his ex and his friends. Panicking, he shoved Harry against the doorway of the nearest shop. "Fuck, shit, bollocks!"

Harry chuckled, his hazy mind cocky with drink. He put his hand on Draco’s face. "Don’t worry, I've got this." He said, pulling him in close. Their lips touched and Draco let out a small gasp. He tasted of mint gum, beer, and the salty sweat of the night. Harry kissed him hard, his arm around his waist. After the initial shock had faded, Draco leant into the kiss, their lips moving together hungrily. They stayed like that for a long moment, bodies pressed together, lips colliding, until the group had walked past. Finally, Draco shoved himself away.

"Oh, Merlin...I…" He trailed off, running his hand through his hair as he stared at Harry, his pink cheeks illuminated by the street light.

"I wish I could have seen his face." Harry chuckled, his drink-addled brain applauding his quick thinking.

“You kissed me!” Draco whisper-shouted.

Harry laughed again. “Was I really that bad?”

“No, it’s just…”

“Come on.” Harry looped his arm through the blond’s and tugged him down the street. They walked in silence for a minute, the darker man completely oblivious to Draco’s frantic thoughts. “Do you wanna stay at mine?”

“At yours?”

“You might as well. It’s closer.”

Draco thought about it for a moment. “Alright.”

They continued on, lips swollen, warm with drink. When they finally reached the flat, Harry dug out a spare set of pajamas and a towel, and left Draco in the spare room. He went through the motions of getting ready for bed, the whole process taking far too long and making him feel nauseous. He downed half a glass of water before climbing into bed and falling into a restless sleep.

Dreams of Draco’s lips chased him relentlessly, only for him to wake up breathless, his legs tangled in the sheets. Each time he woke, he was quickly dragged back under, finding himself once again pressed in the doorway of the shop, pouty pink lips pressed against his. The taste of Draco lingered in his mouth, sweet and bitter all at once.

“Harry.” Dream-Draco mumbled against his lips. The Gryffindor took it as an invitation, diving right back in, pulling him as close as he could.

----

Draco sighed, turning over for what felt like the hundredth time. He couldn’t sleep, his slowly-sobering brain racing around the memory of their kiss. He’d left his school-boy crush behind him long ago, content with their friendship. But all his resolve had come crashing down the moment Harry’s lips touched his. How long had he yearned for this? To finally know what the darker man tasted like, how he felt pressed against him? He groaned into the pillow, his eyes flicking up to the clock on the wall. It was just past 4 in the morning. The kiss had probably meant absolutely nothing to Harry, just another drunken adventure. What was he talking about - probably? He was sure of it.

Draco sighed again, pushing away the covers. He stood up, glancing down at the pajamas that were doing nothing for his sanity. They smelt like Harry, like wood and spice and mint chocolate. He resolved himself to making a cup of tea, padding quietly down the hallway, and stopping just outside his friend’s door. Opening it slowly, he poked his head in.

The Gryffindor was sound asleep, or so Draco thought. Just as he was about to retreat, the other man let out a loud breath, followed by a word: “Draco.”

The blond’s heart stuttered. “Harry?” He whispered. He opened the door further, taking a couple of steps inside. “Harry?” He asked again, louder.

The other man groaned, opening his eyes blearily. “Draco?” He held his hand out and the blond walked forwards to take it. He pulled him in, lifting up the duvet with his other hand. Draco crawled in beside him. “Turn.” Harry grumbled, and he did as he was told, putting his back to him. Apparently, Harry wanted to be big spoon. “Better.” He mumbled, before his breaths quickly fell into a more rhythmic pace.

Draco’s heart was racing, Harry’s body heat behind him only making things worse. They’d never done this before. Never spooned, never even slept in the same bed. He knew it was only because Harry was half asleep, and still probably half drunk, but still his heart was in his throat. Draco listened to his breathing, trying to focus on anything but the growing warmth in his loins. Soon, Harry’s breaths lulled him into a shallow sleep.

-----

Harry woke with a start, letting out a small gasp. His arm was draped over Draco’s waist, his face nestled in his hair. Strangely, he felt almost content, warm and safe, surrounded by Draco’s scent.

What the fuck? Draco was one of his best friends. He hadn’t thought they’d crossed a boundary last night, but his racing heart begged to differ. Harry had never thought of the Slytherin as anything but his friend, though he wasn’t blind to his attributes. Draco was gorgeous, and kind, and made Harry laugh. He even enjoyed their bickering. But why had he pulled him in to bed? Why had he had dreams about them making out? Draco was his friend. Seeing him as something more? He’d never really thought about it.

He hadn’t moved, but he was flustered, and half-hard, and more than a little bit confused. He needed to calm down, cool down. He needed a cold shower. But how could he move? He didn’t want to wake Draco, deal with his questions. He could barely remember pulling him into bed, yet alone why he did it. Oh that’s right, he was too busy dreaming about kissing him. Fuck! What was he gonna do?

He tried to move away as gently and slowly as he could, worried his semi would be too obvious. Maybe Draco was still asleep.

“Harry?”

Maybe not. Harry scrambled away, and Draco turned to face him. He almost looked… hurt. The Gryffindor rubbed at his head, and nodded to the glass on his nightstand. “Can I have that?”

Draco passed it over, looking far too perfect in Harry’s bed. He appeared almost ethereal, the sunlight streaming in through the window illuminating his ruffled white locks, his silver eyes locked on Harry’s throat as he drank. Suddenly, all thoughts of a cold shower went out the window, and all Potter wanted to do was pull him in for a kiss, taste those sweet lips of his.

“I wish I knew what you were thinking.” The blond whispered, and Harry dragged his eyes from his lips up to his eyes to find them watching him sadly.

He looked away with a gulp. “Nothing good.”

Draco leaned towards him, and Harry watched as he put his hand over his. “Last night…”

“Was a mistake.” Harry said quietly, trying to convince himself more than anything else.

“Yes,” Draco agreed, shuffling closer on the bed and using his other hand to grip Harry’s chin, tilting it up towards him. “But I’d make it again,” he whispered, “If only to spend the night in your arms once more.”

Harry could’ve sworn his heart stopped for a moment. He didn’t know what would happen if he kissed Draco, what would happen to their friendship. Hell, he didn’t even know where all these new feelings had come from. All he knew was that it felt right. And if he wanted this, Draco was giving him the opportunity to take it.

He let out a half-hearted chuckle. “Don’t be a sop.”

“Don’t make me a sop, then.” Draco replied lowly, leaning in closer.

This was it. This was the time to back out. But Harry had never been one to back down, and certainly not now, with his stomach full of butterflies for the first time in a long time.

He met Draco’s lips slowly, almost cautiously. He felt so right, and so warm, that Harry let out a little moan, and that’s all it took for Draco to crawl onto his lap, deepening the kiss. Harry wrapped his arms around his waist, their lips crashing together hotly. It felt so good.

As much as Harry could worry about what this would mean for their friendship, it didn’t mean that it had to end. After all, soulmates are best friends first.

What is your opinion on trans people? Like, the trans people who have transitioned and such?

OK, well, here are my thoughts, which are pretty nuanced so this gets long. I have bolded the main points to help break up the textwall.

First, the surgery thing. Whether or not a trans person has had gender reassignment surgery does not change my basic perception of them as a human being. They do not “qualify into womanhood or manhood” by getting surgery. They are not more or less valid as people because they treat their dysphoria with surgery or treat it in some other way. That’s an individual choice that should between them, their doctors and their loved ones. 

It may change their bodies to inspire people at large to treat them according to their gender identities, which in turn helps their dysphoria. But I honestly feel like the FIRST goal of all people who are considering surgery that drastic shouldn’t be surgery to get others to accept your womanhood or manhood so you can accept yourself. It should be radical self-acceptance. You cannot afford to define yourself by others’ perception of you. There are just too many shitty people in the world.

If you can get to the place where you can truly say, “other people’s issues with me don’t define me” and have a basic foundation of self-respect to stand on, you’re in a better headspace to contemplate things like whole-body surgery, or deal with the side effects of a lifelong hormone regimen.

Now for the rest of my thoughts.

Unless they’ve done something awful, like Yaniv, I don’t come for individual trans people. Anyone who does that is a huge asshole and an actual transphobe. If I have a problem with a trans person it is 100% with something they did or with their politics, not their transness.

I am highly critical of modern transactivism and the way it eats away at the rights and boundaries of others, tries to politicize sexual entitlement, fucks with the definition of words, seems to specifically target cis women with demands, boundary violations and antagonism, is homophobic in its demands for sexual “access” to same-sex-attracted people, and encourages behavior such as nailing dead rats to rape recovery center doors, threatening people, and in my sister’s and my case, beating them.

Yeah, I got my ribs cracked by a trans woman tree times my size on the RUMOR that my sister was a TERF. A rumor spread vindictively by a drunk because she wouldn’t cheat on THE AWESOMEST WIFE IN THE UNIVERSE with her. I fucking HATE the TERF patrol. They silence and harm women. But that doesn’t give me the right to hate trans people.

Trans people are human beings who should be able to live their lives without abuse. That includes everything from idiots marching into their journals and bullying them and their partners on up to the Hell trans POC face in places like Brazil. 

There is a difference between biologically-based sex and socially defined gender. “Trans women are women” doesn’t mean trans women are biologically female. Otherwise they would not be trans. 

You can’t deny biological reality to cater to your dysphoria without putting yourself at risk healthwise, and without ending up at odds with pretty much everyone. I will call my trans brothers “dude” and laugh at their dropped-my-packer-in-the-bathroom stories and acknowledge their gender as male, but I’m still going to feel like I should say something if they’re having PCOS symptoms or something and won’t go to a doctor because dysphoria. Your body may not fit your soul, but it doesn’t deserve neglect.

Because gender is socially defined and often toxic, it’s up for grabs. Defy it, redefine it, jump gender boxes, set up new ones, whatever--do you. 

Just don’t scream at people with no experience of it who don’t quite get it at first. I have no fucking idea what gender box you’re sitting in if you give no outward signs at all, so don’t yell at my scramblebrained self for not being psychic. 

I try not to misgender people because I don’t like hurting people who aren’t even part of the conversation. That does not mean I don’t believe there’s no difference between the life experiences of transgender people and (what’s most commonly called) cis people. Of course there is.

Sex criminals who reinvent themselves as trans women to try and get into female prisons are absolutely fucking suspect. 

If you want to change your body to match your sense of gender, that’s your business--so long as you pay real attention to the medical implications. I hear about trans guys hurting themselves with binders and my response is 100% like “Ow, oo honey, please be careful” and 0% like “look at this crazy person blahblahblah here’s some transphobia”

Puberty blockers and transing kids horrify me, in part because I know a kid going through it and he’s already suffering massive side effects. He’s. Nine.

I get pissed off when historical female heroes get transed. Let us have our heroes. Don’t try to redefine every brave, gender-defying woman as a man.

I am wary of self-ident because of the ways it is being abused. 

Dysphoria sounds like absolute Hell. Personally I’m not sure surgery and such is the answer, but it’s not something I have ever dealt with. I certainly don’t think people should be pressured into surgery and hormones as “the answer” or “the only answer”.

Cotton ceiling activists are fighting for the sexual coercion of women and are loathsome. Nobody owes anybody sex, and thinking otherwise is a sign of toxic male socialization, full stop.

Many of the problems such as bathroom bills could be more easily addressed through physical innovation rather than political arguing. What we need is better design of public lavatories to provide everyone with both truly private and accessible public space. This would include everything from protecting from predators and privacy-invaders, to making sure everyone can pee without having a damn sex/gender debate at the door.

Biological males do not belong on girls’ high school or college sports teams, or in women’s competitive sports. Growing up male gave them physical advantages whether they acknowledge it or not. Also if a man in his fifties is on a high school or college women’s sports team because he “feels like a teenage girl” and you don’t think that’s suspect...

Girlhood and sexism are experienced by cis women and non-passing trans men. Boyhood and male privilege are experienced by cis men and non-passing trans women. People treat you according to the sex they perceive you to be, not the gender you perceive yourself to be. How people perceive and treat you determines your socialization and experience of sexism and privilege, not how you identify.

Screaming transphobia because a conversation about biological female health “doesn’t include trans women” is simply irrational. If you don’t have the plumbing or deal with the issues, the conversation doesn’t apply to you. Derailing conversations about female biology to nitpick about the words used is also a silencing tactic.  On the other hand, I will gladly bitch about periods with trans guys and acknowledge that when it happens they’re probably wrestling with an additional burden of heavily triggered dysphoria.

Female erasure is real. The tendency of transactivists to demand that words like “front hole” and “uterus holders” be used on us to spare their feelings COMPLETELY IGNORES WHAT BEING REFERRED TO LIKE THAT DOES TO US. Half the human population should not face dehumanizing language and treatment so that a small percentage of the population can feel a little better.

Feminists have also noticed that 99.9% of the time, it’s women who are expected to give ground, change our language, and change our behavior to accommodate. Men don’t face the same expectations. They are not confronted online, their organizations are not attacked, their buildings are not defaced. Transactivists have a huge sexism problem.

It is absolutely possible to be of the female gender and yet rampantly, blatantly and deeply discriminate against members of the female sex. Any wariness I have of trans women largely stems from negative experiences of trans female sexism and assault against trans men and cis women. 

Sexism, sexual entitlement, out of control tantrum-throwing, taking pleasure in threats and use of violence, demanding to be at the center of every movement you are in (whether transgender or feminist, for example), and the demand that biologically female people cater to you are all signs of toxic male socialization. I used to rather arrogantly say that trans women should jettison these as part of their transition, but the truth is that every human being should. But it’s still causing problems.

TLDR: it really depends on the specific trans issue and how it intersects with Feminism, social pressures, self-image, and scientific fact. Transactivism has huge problems, but trans people are human beings who deserve basic consideration and respect regardless.

I've always admired you for your thoughts on roleplay and the like. I hate to burden you, but I've used RP as a crutch to escape myself for over a decade. I can't stand myself, but I want to feel worth something, so I try to make (a small group of) people happy by playing a fun character. I don't *think* I feel entitled, because I don't feel I deserve anything from people at a base level, but I'm not sure. Can I be certain I'm not dangerous? Are there things I can do? I'd hate to upset people :(

Hey Anon, it’s okay.  I’ve been there.  In around 2014-2015, I was pretty much in the worst place of my life and FFXIV and the people in it were the only bright spot in it.  Sometimes we need these places of respite to survive things.  I think as long as you’re always respectful of people’s boundaries and don’t place your desires for what you want out of the RP over anyone else’s, you’re probably okay.

That said, I also think RP-as-Escape-From-RL-Badness should be a place of temporary rest if possible.  A place that helps us get our bearings so we can venture back into the real world and feel strong enough to make slow, steady, incremental changes for the better.

Right now, something about your real world sucks so bad, RP is your only way to escape it.  Changing your real world all at once seems impossible and that makes sense, because “change your world” is a ridiculous task to ask of anyone to do ASAP.  No one backflips elegantly out of hell.  We claw and fight our way out or manage to slowly walk one foot after the other forward.

Every step feels hard, and every failure feels like an added brick to the wall obstructing you from having a less shitty life - but as long as you keep working on moving forward, you will inevitably be in a different place than you were before.  I don’t know what is going on in your IRL, anon, but if you can, I would strongly urge little, incremental, bite-sized changes.  Even one little change a week or one little change a month is a victory.  One foot put before the other so you can walk, slowly, but surely, out of Hell.

My descent into hell started at the end of 2013.  I slowly crawled my way out at the end of 2018.  It took literal years, but it was worth every painful step and stumble to find myself in a place where FFXIV was just a fun relaxing hobby and not my one place of solace and escape anymore.  And I think that’s worth all the effort.  

It will feel like chipping away at stone with a metal spoon trying to dig your way to the surface, which can be demoralizing as fuck, but if you keep at it - you will eventually get there.

dealing with toxic friends: special high school edition

Toxic Friends and How to Identify Them

They’re constantly griping at you. I’m not talking about a couple bad days, I’m talking about consistent rudeness that makes you wonder what you’ve done to them.

They’re extremely emotionally needy, requiring constant support and validation from you, but you never receive the same kind of attention from them. Your problems are never as important as theirs, and they may even dismiss them (”those aren’t real problems”) to spend more time to focus on themselves. 

They are likely to constantly fish for compliments, requiring constant praise, but nothing you do is ever good enough for them to return the favor. Harsh criticism is more likely the case. 

You find yourself choosing your words with care to avoid them blowing up with you. 

You try as much as possible to avoid running into them, because interactions with them leave you feeling defensive and drained.

You can go days without them asking you a single question about your life. They’ll never notice if you’re having a bad day.

They claim to be “socially awkward” or an “introvert” as a cover for overtly rude behavior. You are fairly certain they know exactly what they are saying. 

They are physically and/or verbally violent with you, and when you confront them about their behavior, you either receive an insincere apology or they tell you to “stop being so sensitive.”

In fact, nothing they ever do is a problem. They are likely to gaslight you (claim the incident never occurred) if you confront them about the abusive behavior, leading you to question your version of events. 

They put you down in front of other people, spread rumors about you, or share your personal information with others without your consent. 

Bizarrely, you begin to wonder if you’re the toxic friend, because around other people, they may appear charming and pleasant. (Your other friends may not believe you if you tell them about the problems you have with this person because of this-all their experiences with them have been pleasant, so they can’t imagine what you’re dealing with.)

You and/or some of your mutual friends may even begin to make excuses for their bad behavior. (”she’s just having a bad day” “he has x mental illness”). For the record, neither of these are appropriate excuses for abusive behavior, ever. 

They may claim to be one of your closest friends, but you rarely find yourself sharing personal things with them for fear they will use this information against you.

If they don’t get their way, they are likely to get dramatic or start sulking. You end up letting them do pretty much whatever they want to do so they don’t have a meltdown. 

They are constantly trying to wind you up and manipulate you. They lie to you for no reason. 

They are willing to throw you and your feelings under the bus to get what they want, whether it’s an s.o. or a teacher’s attention. 

They threaten to stop being your friend for inexplicable reasons and warn you of the dire consequences you will suffer without them, or they will suffer without you. (ha, as if!) They are weirdly possessive of your time, to the point where you find it hard to do things with other people. 

They ignore you or give you the silent treatment without telling you what’s wrong. If they’re ever angry with you, you are expected to make up all the difference and apologize, oftentimes for offenses you are not aware you have committed. 

You feel like this friend is going out of their way to make you insecure. They are constantly bragging about themselves, and they seem to be talking up points they know you yourself are lacking in. They make sure to let you know that they are more successful than you, and will make sure to tell you that your successes are not all that. They are not happy when you succeed, and they cannot handle it when you do better than them.

They only spend time with you when their “best friends” aren’t around, making sure to let you know that you are not a priority. You get the uncomfortable sense that you are not as important to them as they are to you. They avoid you or purposefully exclude you from some things. 

They pressure you into doing things you feel uncomfortable with. They willfully ignore/make fun of your boundaries. 

Your toxic friend(s) may engage in all of these behaviors, or a combination of a few. If you recognize any of these signs, you have a toxic friend. Period. It doesn’t matter if your friend is mentally ill, if they have a bad home life, if you’ve been friends for a while, or any other rationalization you give yourself for their behavior. No one deserves to be treated poorly, and no one should treat their friends like this. 

The Cutoff

A lot of people will tell you to “just cut them off.” However, when it comes to high school friendships, it is often easier said than done. It can make the classes you share extremely awkward, can force mutual friends to take sides, and make you look like a person who starts “drama.” (More on that in a minute.) 

[Of course, if the friendship is taking an exceptionally dark turn (i.e. illegal activity is involved, they are thinking about harming themselves or someone else) you NEED to report this behavior to an authority figure and have them deal with it. It is out of your hands at this point. I am not endorsing putting yourself or anyone else at risk for the sake of maintaining a toxic friendship. I simply am stating that it is difficult in high school to fully get these people out of your life because you see them every school day.]

If you feel ready to “cut off” your toxic friend or friends, go for it. Be direct and honest-don’t sugarcoat anything. DO NOT WORRY ABOUT BEING “RUDE” OR “HURTING THEIR FEELINGS.” They have not treated you with respect, so they have not earned your respect. Do it in a place in which you have the most control. If you feel better doing it over text because you don’t want to do it in person, that is FINE. Do not expect your ex-friend(s) to be pleased about your behavior. Whatever they say to you or about you afterwards, remember:

They were the toxic person in your relationship. They were the person who was using you, not the other way around.

You will find other friends who treat you well. 

Assholes are not entitled to your time. 

People who you barely interact with who judge you based on a biased estimation of your character from 1! person...are shitty people. 

You can’t please everyone. 

I see a lot of “if you have a problem with me, be sure to tell me so i can fix it and if you don’t tell me that’s on you uwu” posts lying around. But here’s the thing, a lot of times toxic people find it inconceivable that they could ever be at fault. Whether you tell them as soon as the issue occurs or when you’re ending your friendship, you’re likely to get a fake-sounding explanation or a cop-out apology. Plus, if your friend is a real threat to you, putting yourself out there might only be a waste of your time, but a risk to your safety. So for the record “but at the time you told me you were fine with it?!!” should NEVER make you feel guilty. 

It’s okay to be upset about the end of a toxic friendship, but you will get though this. You were so strong to cut them out of your life; you are sure as hell strong enough to survive your life without them. 

The block button is a thing. 

Fracturing the Circle 

Cutting off your toxic friend(s) may put strain on your other friendships, however, especially if you guys have mutual friends. And in high school, this is very likely. The problem is, your mutual friends may not see your toxic friend or friends in the same way that you do, or, if the toxic friend in question is especially vicious, may sympathize with you but want to avoid picking sides for fear of retaliation. And sad as it is, if your mutual friends are questioning your version of events, accusing you of starting “drama,” or talking to your toxic friend behind your back, it’s time to let them go as well. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: you do not have to settle for shit friends. 

Here’s the thing a lot of toxic people will accuse you of (and what can wreck your other friendships): drama. Everyone knows that so-called “dramatic” people start problems and pick fights constantly. But here’s the thing-it’s not “dramatic” to demand to be treated with respect. You’re not starting “drama” if you’re sick and tired of toxic bullshit. Anyone who calls you “dramatic” or accuses you of starting “drama” without full grasp of the story does not fucking deserve your time. It’s worth damaging your reputation to treat yourself with a little self-respect. 

And just a PSA for anyone reading this, if anyone ever approaches you with a valid complaint about a mutual friend’s toxicity, SHUT THE FUCK UP and LISTEN to them. Don’t try to explain the behavior away. Don’t accuse the person of making it up. Don’t defend your friend just because they haven’t treated YOU like that. Show a little compassion. You don’t have to confront the mutual about the behavior if you don’t feel like it. But give the person the common courtesy of an audience. 

I’m Stuck With Toxicity. What Now? 

You don’t necessarily have to jump straight to cutting your toxic friends off. But you can establish boundaries at school. Here are some ideas for slowly distancing yourself from the person. 

Sit with a new group of people at lunch or in class. Just physically moving yourself away from the toxic person can do wonders for your mental health. 

Wait 10 minutes before replying to messages from the person. Or don’t reply at all. 

Join a school group you know they’d never be interested in. It’s a great way to push an overly clingy friend away. 

Create a secret social media space that only trusted friends can view. Warning-this can backfire if you have mutual friends. 

Stop sharing personal information with the person. Only talk about school or neutral topics of conversation. 

If your friend puts you down in a group of people, say (loudly, so other people can hear you) “That was really rude and unnecessary.” They’ll have to apologize. 

For the friend who only talks about themselves: “Aren’t you going to ask me how my day went?” 

Avoid gossiping about the person. It’ll just escalate conflict. 

“Chill out. You’re acting like I <insert dramatic simile here>.” (Gets some laughs from the crowd.)

“Why are you yelling at me?” (Draws attention to their behavior.) 

“I can’t apologize for something if I don’t know what I did.” (Logic, the great bane of the irrational.) 

Avoid spending time with them outside of school. 

Done dirty: Weiss.

Because according to at least someone, Weiss getting hurt is all the repercussion jaune is supposed to have.

Ah, Weiss. The Atlasian girl with white hair. The only character to use a rapier, and has an interesting semblance, fighting style, and motive.

What the hell happened?

Okay, so I’m going to be honest here: Weiss isn’t exactly my favorite character. She’s not my least favorite of the titular team, but she’s not my favorite. But even as someone who really isn’t that interested in Weiss, I can tell that she’s been done dirty. Especially by the narrative.

Let’s start in volume 1. I’m going to be honest here again: Weiss not respecting Ruby as a team leader is actually an interesting idea to explore. It creates conflict, and sets up for some interesting character interactions down the line. But the way it’s handled isn’t that great. One talk with Ozpin causes Weiss to change her mind. It shouldn’t be that easy. The way that this should have gone down is Ozpin’s talk making Weiss give Ruby a chance to be the team leader, and act like it. She gets robbed of character interaction because of that.

But let’s get into the nitty gritty here. Weiss’ racism was poorly handled. For a start, she has every right to hate the White Fang. That’s a natural thing for her to feel, especially since she describes what she’s seen.

So her hating the WF is reasonable. But her lumping in all faunus is irrational. And that’s also an interesting thing. Racism doesn’t follow rationality, so it makes sense for her to be this paranoid. This doesn’t make it okay by any means, but it would create an interesting development if Weiss were to learn a lesson on racism, and ultimately become a better person from it.

The bigger problem is that it was her father who got mad about everything. So while her blaming the actions of her father on the WF is irrational, it makes for an interesting character insight. It’s possible to have a racist character overcome their racism, and start to make amends, but the problem is that… in this scenario… Weiss has every reason to not trust Sun. The guy stowed away on a ship, and stole from a fruit vendor. In a way, Weiss is right about Sun being a criminal. This is more of a problem with Sun’s character introduction than it is with Weiss’ racism, so let’s move on. 

The search goes on for twelve hours, and apparently, that’s all that’s needed for someone to not be racist anymore.

She still doesn’t trust Sun, but again, that’s sort of justified considering Sun’s introduction…

So yeah.

Volume 2 rolls around, and this is the big problem here. We never got to see Weiss making up for her racism. Just because she sits with Blake doesn’t automatically make up for it. What would help is her asking about what she can do, what ideas to try when she takes over the company, etc. She could even defend Velvet when she gets bullied, and offer to have her over at the table she and her team are sitting at until the rest of Velvet’s team shows up. But no. We don’t get that sort of development. Weiss hasn’t apologized for her racist behavior. This got resolved off-screen.

Off-screen resolutions isn’t just bad writing, it’s lazy writing. There is no reason to have a conflict on-screen if you’re going to resolve it off-screen. It’s an insult to the audience to do so. Not only that, but this doesn’t automatically fix Weiss’ racism. She didn’t apologize (at least not on-screen), so what reason do we have to go off of to assume that she did?- The fact that she’s sitting with Blake? Look, that’s not how it works. What is needed is an on-screen apology.

Then jaune starts constantly asking her to the dance. Now, had it been clear that this was a form of karma for her being a racist, that would be understandable. But the narrative seems to have forgotten that whole debacle of a character arc, so we have to move on. Like to jaune not being able to take ‘no’ for an answer. I haven’t been on either side of this dilemma before, but jaune’s persistence got really old, really fast.

And for some reason… The narrative seems to think that jaune is sympathetic in this scenario. Which I can get. Being rejected is tough. But you gotta accept it. Whomever you’re asking out is their own person, and has every right to. But the scenario also says that Weiss was in the wrong here. Which is something I don’t get. Weiss has every reason to not like jaune. She doesn’t think he’s all that impressive, he’s pretty dorky, he’s annoying, and there’s so much more about this scenario that it’s not even funny.

jaune lies to try to get in close, and puts Weiss in a public position. You know how those public proposals are really dickish because you put them in a public position and them saying ‘no’ could make them out to be heartless?- Yeah. That’s basically what jaune does. And the infuriating part is that it somehow works on Weiss’ team!

No, they call Weiss ‘ice queen’ because she was rude to Ruby.

And I guess jaune is the one to come to Weiss’ defense and defend her honor when just a few episodes ago, he wasn’t respecting her boundaries at all, and didn’t back off when she said no.

And for some reason, even some audience members seem to think that Weiss owes jaune an apology for how she acted. Even her VA thinks so too! Now, apologizing for being harsh and cold to jaune, I can somewhat understand. But for her to make up for it by becoming his girlfriend is too far. There’s a difference between apologizing because you acted cold to someone, and pitying them to the point that you become their romantic partner. She had every right to reject him, and she has every right to tell him no. She doesn’t owe him an explanation, she’s her own person. Not some prize to be won. She doesn’t need to ‘give him a chance’- that’s a bunch of bullshit that media has constantly been feeding to people so that males feel entitled to women.

And volume 2 continues to rob Weiss of what little development she got off-screen by making it so that she acknowledges that what her company did was wrong, and already knew it.

So, she went to Beacon… To fix her company’s racism problem… And then acted like a racist towards Sun and Blake in volume 1…

Yeah, it’s pretty clear that the writers had no fucking idea what they wanted to do with Weiss.

Volume 3 just craps on Weiss by just making Winter act indifferent. But gives Weiss a random summon that she only trained once for.

Here’s an idea of how to improve that: She tries to summon in the middle of the doubles round, and that brings her down due to her not being quick enough or being too vulnerable. Not only would it serve as a means to showcase an obvious weakness that is present, and make it so that the summons should be a last-resort move, but it would also provide a combative reason as to why Weiss went down.

And if this had happened, then her sword summon later in the volume wouldn’t come off as if it were your regular anime protagonist attaining a power at a super convenient time.

But alas, this isn’t what happened. And before anyone asks, yes. There are people who think Weiss saving Velvet makes up for her past racism.

Look, saving Velvet is something that literally anyone would have done in that situation. In fact, literally EVERYONE was trying to save her. Weiss doesn’t get brownie points for doing something everyone else was doing.

Again, this is a problem with the fact that the creators likely retconned Weiss’ racism because they didn’t feel that racism would make good waifu material, and that the products featuring Weiss wouldn’t sell as well because of it. That’s how it feels, anyways.

Volume 4 actually… is kind to Weiss in terms of character development. Hell, she practically carries that volume. But she gets handed things. Like her full summon after one practice session and the fact that she doesn’t get caught when she’s being MAXIMUM STEALTH WEISS!

But I guess her back gave out after carrying volume 4, because she doesn’t seem to be capable of holding the umbrella while volume 5 craps all over her.

First she gets captured. What?- Her escaping her abusive family meant that she has to trade one prison for another?- This makes very little narrative sense. I get that the world isn’t fair, but this just seems unnecessary. Weiss gets reduced to a damsel in distress. At least it isn’t jaune who comes in and saves her.

But that doesn’t last long. Because jaune apparently is the only person who’s allowed to be concerned over Weiss after… this…

Seriously. Only jaune reacts, and then he gets to save her.

At least Weiss acknowledges that this isn’t a position that she would enjoy being in.

But this means that jaune got to feel useful and got rewarded, after he inadvertently got Weiss impaled. And for some reason, nobody else reacts to this?- How about Yang goes rage mode, charges Cinder, and they crash into the vault?

Or how about that’s what triggers Ruby’s silver eyes?- Because apparently, seeing Weiss mortally wounded isn’t enough for her to activate those damn things, but seeing jaune charge Cinder is? - I mean, how about she goes rage mode and starts trying to tear Cinder apart in retribution for what she did to Weiss?- Yang reacted violently when Adam stabbed Blake, so why is Ruby’s reaction to her partner less volatile?- She’s a young girl who just saw her partner impaled, and she… hardly reacts?- She doesn’t even scream Weiss’ name!

That just undermines the relationship that Weiss has with Ruby!- They couldn’t develop it on-screen, but now they’re saying that it didn’t develop off-screen either?- What about Yang?- the girl she was bonding with up until that point?- No reaction?

This just undermines a lot of the relationships that Weiss has with the other characters, and that hurts more than it helps (obviously). This means that Weiss hasn’t even developed relationships on or off-screen. How are we supposed to care about her if we don’t see how she interacts with others, and that paying off?

Not to mention her fight with Vernal is horrible. She goes straight for the summon. There’s no sight of her trying different things like using her rapier to impale her, or using the other Glyphs to deal some damage, Weiss just goes straight for the summon. If she had used her other techniques and they had been ineffective, then it would be understandable as to why she would be so desperate to summon- it would be her only option left. Her stalling for time to even get a chance to summon again would be seen as more of a desperation move, and it would convince the audience that Vernal isn’t someone to be messed with.

But we don’t get that.

What happened to the Weiss that used her Glyphs to strike at the WF lieutenant on the train? Or the Weiss that used her Glyphs to run circles around the mech in volume 3?

Those versions of Weiss seem to have vanished… Just like any development she could have gotten.

The mods let my core's (we are a system) abusive ex who I reported several times vague us in his journal and TC and didn't do jackshit about it. I'm also account locked until I choose to reconcile but that was partially per request, and we were about to leave pokefarm to get away from him. He literally blamed us for him being suicidal when all we did was throw him out of our life like the bitch he was. He threatened to burn down our house because I reported him after violating a DNI. I am account locked indefinitely until I choose to come back and talk about it (The mod who handled this was actually really sweet) and it seems like they're more trying to tell us 'hey you can come back when you chill the fuck out' tbh but that's aside the point. This went on for about 4 days and I had reported him because we don't want our name being ruined, and nobody came. He kept lying. And I know his user ID through stalking ModWatch, so if I see him ever be unlocked, I'm gonna be pissed. I was locked for 'extremely inappropriate dms' with him, which I can understand, but he blamed us for him being suicidal to make us feel bad, so we said 'Good luck with that', and in my memory, that is the worst we got, aside from reminding him that he called me a 'toxic bitch' for not wanting to affection core did, and telling him to essentially (not exact wording, I'm not checking pfq for a while) fuck the ever loving hell off. 

HE THEN threatened to report me because I was calling him out for vauging in my TC, and passing it off as 'venting'. He said I took his only friend with him, who is another system, who left him because they disapproved of his ableism.

The following is a direct transcript of one of his posts.

'hhhhhhhh i just read the message my hella abusive ex sent me that was very clearly meant to make me sound like the bad guy in this situation even though i obviously wasn't. he called me toxic and mentally abusive multiple times just because I told him to stop treating me like dirt and now it's making me feel like I'm the one who was wrongggg. this isn't helping my already extremely fragile mental state especially when I have nobody i can talk to about it.. if anyone has tips for getting over this kind of thing please just.. message them to me. And if he's told you anything bad about me he's just trying to ruin my life more than he already has. don't listen to him.'

this message is honestly making my fucking brain rot. Even with our collective imposter syndrome and always believing we're the bad guy, I know that I'm not. I would send an entire google drive of proof, but that'd count as doxxing, so I'll have to send censored screenshots of shit he said on site. said. For more context, I am an introject of the system, basically an alter who is based off of something else, and I find it a pain in the ass to tell people, and he got pissy when I didn't tell him who I'm an introject of, as he isn't entitled to know jackshit. (also bro fuck the hell off you're fourteen and this was an online relationship, we didn't ruin your life by telling you to grow the fuck up.)

For more context, though physically speaking, I am a minor and so is our core, I am based off of a grown adult, even if I don't act like it, and was uncomfortable with his affection. BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE!

I know I literally asked to be account locked, but I swear, to honest FUCK, if I see this bitch online EVER AGAIN I will fucking scream. He then turned around and bitched in his journal about us being the abuser. What does this kid have to gain from lying? 

And why did the mods NOT FUCKING DO ANYTHING ABOUT THIS UNTIL NOW?! I'm not even mad I got locked until I can reconcile, as I took him out with me, it seems. But yeah, if you've seen someone 'venting' in their journal about their 'abusive ex', this is what REALLY went down.  (Btw, he didn't try, he said 'sorry' like that excuses his actions, when Echo, one of our other alters, tried time and time again to teach him on dissociative disorders, he still called us fancy kins on discord and shit)

For context he got pissy when I told him to respect my boundaries.

The fact this bitch got away for two seconds pisses me off. I'm really sorry for ranting. If you saw a user 'venting about his toxic ex' recently, this is what he really did.

Do you give your two cents on comparing shipping parties? If not, disregard my ask. If so, I will continue. I have been in the BB community and it used to be happy until different factions have formed and BB shippers started blocking each other due to different opinions like some have given up on it being canon while others still hope they would still become canon. After the Arryn twitter incident about BMBLB, that's my cue to change sides I guess. (1)

Because that’s when people are harassing the poor VA and now DEMANDING the ship to be canon. As much as I hate BS, I tried hanging out in their community for a change to see their views on the matter. Even if their community is small, they are united and they actually voice positive stuff about the incident. They are violent as heck but they aren’t toxic. They are actually friendly if you get to know them. They’re frank and open. I feel much more peace with them. What are your thoughts about the two parties?

Sorry this is probably way longer than you would’ve wanted.

In my eyes the biggest difference between the BS and the BB fandoms is the treatment of each ship’s “rivals” within the shipping communities aka how Sun is treated in the BB community versus how Yang is treated in the BS community. In every shipping community I’ve seen in r\/\/by I’ve never seen any specific character collectively hated and shit on to the same extent that I’ve seen Sun hated in the BB community. It’s one thing to criticize the way he is written (and there are MANY valid criticisms to be made) and a completely different thing to bitch and scream every time he looks in Blake’s general direction. The way Sun’s character is completely villianized whenever he does anything that may be even slightly problematic while Yang can literally do the exact same thing and nobody gives a shit is by far my biggest frustration with the BB fanbase.

For example, when Sun asked RWY if Blake was being “Blakey” in V2 I saw (and still see) BB shippers claiming this is proof that Sun is “selfish” and “disregards” Blake’s problems and mental health. Meanwhile a few episodes earlier when Weiss called Blake out on her being “quiet antisocial and moody” and Yang just shrugged it off with a “Uh, have you met Blake?” nobody gave a shit about that. Or when Sun followed Blake to make sure she didn’t try taking on the WF alone many BB shippers said that it was “not respecting boundaries which is horrible to do to an abuse victim” which is a completely valid point. But when Yang raises her voice at Blake and shoves her against a desk when she’s too weak to properly defend herself that’s apparently fine to do to an abuse victim. This isn’t about trying to make Yang out to be a malicious chracter (because she isn’t), but it’s pointing out the huge double standards a lot of BB shippers have towards her compared to Sun.

BB shippers at their worst want Sun (and in some cases his entire team) dead every time he interacts with Blake which is super hypocritical considering the fact that they’ll parade the “We want representation!!1!” card around trying to pass off their desires as being more noble than others yet in the same breath they’ll turn around and wish that one of the few relevant sources of PoC representation in the show is killed off. BS shippers at their worse are indifferent towards Yang and she will never be treated with the same disdain as Sun in the BB community.

Besides the constant demonization of Sun, the overwhelming entitlement complex that a lot of BB shippers seem to have is also very irritating. Even before the whole bmblb fiasco many of the shippers acted as if the crwby was obligated to make BB canon because they have the most fans and it pisses me off to no end how that behavior still continues. YOU. DON’T. DECIDE. WHAT. HAPPENS. IN. THE. SHOW. This is by no means specific to BB shippers as fandom entitlement is extremely prevalent throughout this website, but BB shippers are the only shipping fanbase I’ve seen within the r\/\/by fandom who have this complex to such a large extent. Somehow RT saying “Yes there will be at least one gay character” got translated over to “Yes Blake and Yang will be romantically canon” and as such many shippers feel the only valid source of LGBT+ representation the show can have is through BB becoming canon which is a huge middle finger towards any mlm, trans, ace, non-binary. ect. fan hoping they’ll get to see themselves in the show. Hell, a different team r\/\/by ship could happen down the line like FB or LB or one of the girls could be confirmed queer without having her get into a relationship and these bastards would still complain because apparently LGBT+ representation isn’t valid unless it involves their favorite ships/characters becoming canon.

What’s worse are the shippers who try to twist being against BB as being an Attack on Gay Women™ especially when they’ve harassed Arryn, an openly bisexual woman, over BB not being confirmed (something she literally has zero control over) or how they harassed a popular wlw artist out of the fandom for daring not to ship BB (even though her otp is still a f/f ship) just to give a few examples. Or how anyone who criticizes/dislikes BB is assumed to be homophobic even if they’re fucking LGBT+ like myself. Don’t fucking act like you speak for all the wlw in the fandom when you’ve alienated/harassed many of us away from your ship to the point where some of us now consider BB a notp despite the ship itself being completely fine.

BS shippers do have issues that piss me off as well (internalized/outright homophobia from heteros who conveniently ship BS being the biggest), and I will say recently the behavior of the BS community has gotten worse, but the outright terrible behavior towards others in the fandom/the crwby is few and far between compared to what has been going on in the BB community for YEARS now. With the constant bashing of BS from BB shippers it’s no damn surprise the behavior of the BS community has gotten worse. Until I see a collective attitude in the BS tags that involve demonizing Yang as an individual character for doing anything remotely problematic while praising/ignoring when Sun does something similar and wanting Yang dead every time she interacts with Blake I’m not going to say BS shippers have sunk as low as BB shippers.

Hell was boring

Should send u a bill fir my time you wasted

Rip out his ego with your fresh nails

Art is the stored honey of the human soul

Ladies and gentlemen we are floating in space

I killed a part of me to keep you alive

If someone does not want me it is not the end of the world but if I do not want me the world is nothing but endings

Nayyirah Waheed

You do not have to/be good

You do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert/repenting

You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves

“There are many ways to talk about loss;
it is like a body walking next to you in the night, ghost
of the lost one keeping you
company, or only your own grief stumbling
beside you in the darkness.”

Birdy wings

Oops I did it again

Passive with the things you say

Mmbye

I have a deeply hidden and inarticulate desire for something beyond the daily life

Sit down be humble

I'm 19 and I'm on fire. When we're dancing I'm alright

Just another graceless night

We're lost enough, have another drink get lost in us

Just might've tapped into your mind and soul, you can't be sure

I like when you sleep for you are so beautiful yet so unaware of it

Meet me in the hallway

Higher than a mother fucker dreaming of you as my lover

Martha sways

Muzzy c

Where is the love

Tryna be a Good girl but falling for a bad boy

“I’m in an abusive relationship. Not physically but mentally, verbally. He calls me names and breaks me down yet I’m so afraid to tell anyone because they’ll make me leave him but I love him. I love him, I’m trapped in this small box of caged Privileges and orders, they’re like laws and if I break one he leaves. He calls me beautiful and showers me with love but his temper terrifies me to the point of tears. You wonder why someone would stay in a relationship like this you would just leave I said the same thing until I was in the position. You love them with everything you have despite they’re temper, because they have a heart of gold. You want to leave the pain and caged box but you want to stay with the person you love so deeply. You don’t understand until you are here, how hard it is to leave

“When we killed what we were to become what we are, what did we do with the bodies? We did what most people do; buried them under the floorboards and got used to the smell. I’ve lived my life like a serial killer; finish with one part, strangle it and move on to the next. Life in neat little boxes is life in neat little coffins, the dead bodies of the past laid out side by side. I am discovering, now, in the late afternoon of the day, that the dead still speak.”

Jeanette winterson ?

All these drugs and I want to do you

* So we kissed goodbye and swore we wouldnt hurt anyone as bad as we hurt eachother

If you were born with the weakness to fall in love you were born with the strength to rise

Wannabe luv'd

Cracking open a cold and broken hallelujah

Risqué

I'm a slut for reassurance

Lighting up a fat one with the girls

The rumours are true; I'm soft and want to be loved

Anyone who can talk to me for longer than a week deserves an award

I am so gentle and kindhearted and stupid

I'm crying my best

What, with all due respect, the absolute fuck

Once you learn that you deserve the best, losing people doesnt

“Sometimes I think I have felt everything I’m ever gonna feel. And from here on out, I’m not gonna feel anything new. Just lesser versions of what I’ve already felt.

Since it's impossible to know which part of my life is the middle, I've decided to have an ongoing crisis

Don't need to be perfect just happy

Give me the popcorn and free my soul I wanna get lost in the popcorn bowl and drift away

gimme the soup boys and free my soul , i wanna eat soup out a little bowl , and drift away…

Beauty is a strange place - Warsan Shire

You are entirely up to you

What ocean will bear witness to our sighs?

Here I lie disturbed, crushed and buried by this cruel world

I've been dancing with th devil I love that he pretends to care

Be of good heart

You are all the colours at once at full brightness

The observer is not seperate from the object observed

Driving off the bridge and wishing you was in the car 2

She shatters the earth with her own core

She is always moving, always singing with the wind.

Her eyes tell stories of how to enter and exit the universe

Come over. I don’t really mind whether we talk for hours, get blind drunk, or sit in silence and look up to the stars. Sometimes, the world down here just gets a bit much, and I need to lose myself in someone’s company for a little while

Beau taplin

I wasn't born to be soft and quiet I was born to make the world shatter and shake at my fingertips

Maybe all we need is someone to make us forget about growing up, someone who makes our inner child happy

We've made it this far kid

We'll survive by telling lies we've rationed well

Blood + honey, push + pull

Manifest wisely

Would call you a cunt but you don't have the depth or the warmth

You want smooth sailing? I've always been a tsunami

Figures

Poetry beauty romance love, these are what we stay alive for

You are still growing on the days you feel empty

Healing is when you become something else, something better, and not something you were before

Vacation town

Hey man I love you but no fucking way

I dwell in possibility

Am I coming out of left field?

Is there a god at the bottom of the bottle?

Yes offense I don’t give 2 bitches and a flying cooch 😘

Turn the lights down low I found me an angel I can see it in your halo

And I know it’s coming save it till morning say what’s on your mind cause I’ve been here a thousand times

Tell me smooth

Ice age

Is young love still stupid if we have old souls

33721

You look good

Why chase you when I’m the catch?

Call me au, cause I’m gold when I’m in my element✨

Do not look for healing at the feet of those who broke you

Meet Virginia

Side effects

The joker

“Some people survive and talk about it. Some people survive and go silent. Some people survive and create. Everyone deals with unimaginable pain in their own way, and everyone is entitled to that, without judgement. So the next time you look at someone’s life covetously, remember…you may not want to endure what they are enduring right now, at this moment, whilst they sit so quietly before you, looking like a calm ocean on a sunny day. Remember how vast the ocean’s boundaries are. Whilst somewhere the water is calm, in another place in the very same ocean, there is a colossal storm.” —Nikita Gill, People Survive in Different Ways

If I have to fight for your attention, fuck your attention

Maybe you can afford to wait. Maybe for you there’s a tomorrow. Maybe for you there’s one thousand tomorrows, or three thousand, or ten, so much time you can bathe in it, roll around it, let it slide like coins through you fingers. So much time you can waste it. But for some of us there’s only today. And the truth is, you never really know

Hope they serve sangria in Hell 🍷

In my brain drawin. Up everything I want to say but I’m still one number away

Somebody must have really done you wrong

Jared smith

We tried the world, good god it wasn’t for us

Tumblr is like, this strange parallel reality

that coexists w reality as we know it on the outside... ...this is the alternate plane of existence where we ascend to and scream. Honestly, this is where I scream so I don’t lose my voice Shit is just irritating and I just need to blow off steam more often than ever For instance, my dad is making this “mountain man” breakfast on Xmas morning “fer my Grandma,” who is always used as a scapegoat, fer better or worse, and that’s fine But this breakfast is loaded w sausage that everyone is aware I don’t eat, which is also fine, bc I’m used to bringing things to make fer myself // to share So I brought supplies to make portabella mushroom toast, which my dad won’t eat but my ma and Gma will enjoy And I will be able to have a nice breakfast, too First, my dad gets in a tizzy about how he needs both the oven and the stovetop to make his mountain man breakfast. I say, well, you get up earlier and will probably be done before I am up and/or before I am ready to make breakfast. Then he goes on about how it may take a while, so my ma says I can make it on the portable skillet they have Then he says that takes a lot of energy to power, and that we should avoid using it ((What?!? This has NEVER come up before this moment)) At this point, I’m getting angry bc I just wanna make something fer breakfast fer myself and share it since my ma and Gma don’t get to eat mushrooms much bc my dad doesn’t like them But really, I just wanna eat a nice breakfast—if only FER ME—since what he is making is something he knows I won’t He also won’t adapt it so I would eat it ((say, w chicken or turkey sausage instead)) These things are NOT problems, nor are they OBSTACLES, but he’s making them into them So I’m like, what the fuck, dad, what’s up w you not supporting how I eat EVEN WHEN I AM TRYING TO COOK AND FEED MYSELF Then he scales back and is like, oh, well, I’ll probably be done in a half hour or so, it won’t take too long to make What the hell? Then it’s not a big deal, bro, let it go Now t’day he brings it up again, and I’m like jfc why is this still a thing? This time, he spins his bs to, “Well I just don’t see how yer grandmother is still going to be hungry after my breakfast to eat yers...” Seriously? If my grandma fucking KNEW I was going to make something fer breakfast, she would totally support my efforts and make sure she maintained an appetite fer it Honestly, why is this even an argument? We all know this. And it’s not like she is picking favorites, she is just truly supportive like that. Capricorn men are honestly fucking ruined bc of my dad, who has been riding his ‘only child’ card since my entire existence Needing validation, needing praise, needing his way, needing credit, needing control... And the women in my family are still compliant enough w patriarchy that they cater to him Like, can some grown up tell this man to shut the fuck up and calm down FER ONCE Why do I always have to be the one to rise up to the occasion and tell him he is being ridiculous? Shit makes my blood pressure rise I wish I had it in me to be chill and not let this shit get to me, but that feels like being compliant I still haven’t mastered remaining calm without feeling like I am being compliant w shitty behavior. I get more angry that I need to keep working on myself fer any change to occur when they ((my family, fer instance)) don’t make any effort They just keep it up Sometimes even one upping themselves Like the breakfast thing—I was NOT expecting this to be a big deal Yet my dad makes breakfast FER ONCE and therefore he feels entitled to the whole kitchen He prob won’t even clean up after himself and expect my ma to even tho he never cleans up after her when she cooks him all his meals It makes me so angry What’s more is that this has been role modeled to me my whole life and I see traits of it within me They manifest in a variety of ways And it’s fucked up I can’t put my finger on them all the time but they’re feelings I get when I catch myself being hypercritical about anything and/or irrational I feel hypercritical about my dad, which feels ironic as all hell bc he is the person I learned it from It’s this twisted logic of “I know you could be better” except worded more specifically to our own needs “I know you could be more understanding” “I know we could meet each other where we are at more” “I know you know I am not you” “I know you know I want to be the best version of myself, and that is still not you” “I know you know you could be better, but instead you focus on me” We know these things but I feel like we’re trapped in this narrative of “this is how we communicate, this is how we connect” parent-child dynamic Do we ever grow up? Do we ever grow out of this? Bc parents don’t get a guidebook or directions on how to raise kids, does that mean we are still—in a variety of ways—dealing w children fer parents? Childrents? Does anyone actually have parents that know how to emotionally provide fer their kids? I can’t say I would know how to nail it as a parent by any means, but I am realizing how important it is to learn how to be emotionally capable This is where I’ve learned to be scrappy and find what I need as far as emotional support and learning emotional intelligence Still, I am faced w things that are beyond me. Maybe they are normal things that I’m slow to learn// understand Maybe it’s just a lot to overwrite // unlearn // rewire All I know is it’s daunting as fuck This is part of the reason why it’s difficult fer me to be close to people Bc I don’t fucking feel prepared People I love pull shit that they understand will upset me, time and time again, and it baffles the fuck outa me Now I’m thinking about my best friend They are always fucking challenging me, not even considering that maybe I challenge myself enough Maybe I need a break But no and you know what, whatev—live yer best life Except I’m upset, and I don’t feel cool about this shit Shit that I didn’t appreciate before Still don’t appreciate now But like, it’s on me bc I’m not down fer the shit that they were worried would upset me AGAIN and unfortunately, it did Is nothing sacred anymore? Is there no room fer respect? They live this fine line of caring about how I feel while also not hesitating to disrespect my feelings altogether And yet it’s up to me to be cool about it? Like why don’t you just Fucking stop? Like, ten years ago? What da fuck is with you and challenging me ALL THE DAMN TIME? We know me, we know how I am I love a good challenge and I love personal development, but not always on YER FUCKING TERMS When you upset me and then have this like, get with it or catch up attitude... Fine, but on my fucking terms Frankly, I don’t wanna kick it w you now bc fuck you fer considering my feelings after the fact Fuck you fer deflating my joy right when my winter break starts The day I go to spend time w my fam The only time I get to see you til summer probably Fuck you fer putting me in the position of “being the bigger person” and having the pressure to set aside my feelings so we can spend time together on the holidays Fuck that, I’m upset Who did it serve to tell me something you knew would upset me? Bc you thought I’d be upset if I found out some other time? Whatever, there’s a time and a place and it happens when it happens I’m not saying one has to consider my mental health before they do anything fer themself in their life, but like, if yer going to consider me at all—consider that. Bc after you left, I didn’t go to my parents right away. I stayed home and I tried to get my emotional shit together knowing how fucking emotionally exhausting it would be to visit my family You know this about me going home And yet you told me the day of. Emotional labor before anticipated emotional labor. And you know what, I was so cool about it bc I didn’t want you to have to experience any emotional labor on my part Bc you obviously already decided what you did was a good idea and once again, you lemme know afterwards Like a weird request of approval after the fact You do you and apparently everyone else I fucking love n care about bc yer evolved enough Except it’s not even about possessiveness, it’s about boundaries and respect And I’m just not feeling it Fuck that