#fuck cringe culture its our tumblr LOL
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hmm. might actually at least make a couple kin blogs.
#probably for t ubbo and a ntfrost#maybe p arvis??#thats the ones we've been sitting in most so#- collective#//tubbo shift#mmyea i think we will#fuck cringe culture its our tumblr LOL
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Was reading thru ur answered asks again (also hey lol i CAME BACK--) and like. Oh my god. It gave me The Most Idea.
So you get isekaied to Teyvat right? They hear your og language, they revere every single worf from your mouth, yadda yadda yadda. But like. How does SLANG AND THE OTHER ASPECTS OF UR OG LANGUAGE translate. I am having VERY heavy flashbacks to Pokemons "jelly filled donuts".
So like-- for example: (this is the first one that came to my head dont judge me i am tumblr trash) (lets also assume that traveler has perfect understanding of ur language and slang and all the nuances of it)
Lets say you and the traveler were hanging out with some of the Vision holders, and the traveler had some shenanigans and pranks or something planned. After they pull their shit, you say "i hate you so much (affectionate)". Which kind of throws the Vessels in for a loop because like-- their god literally just said they HATED someone. And hate is a PRETTY STRONG WORD. So they should DEFINITELY strike them down for catching their gods ire but-- AFFECTIONATE????? how does one hate someone affectionately???????? Does this mean their god hates the traveler but decided to recind their hate last second? Is it some form of Divine and Holy emotion that cannot be described by the mere words of their language????
Meanwhile youre just there vibin and having a blast with the traveler while you casually give them a philosophical crisis AHAHAHA
Another example is shortened words-- because i know teyvat doesnt have shit like "ily" or "omg" or "lmao" or "fyi" or "brb". Because honestly, without the cultural knowledge and background of the internet, these sets of letters are just fucking GIBBERISH.
And i know that like-- i know enough internet slang abbreviations that i can literally just talk in jumbles of letters, so how in the WORLD would the vessels interpret that? Because its very clear that their god is just using the letters of their language, HELL they might even use Teyvatian letters so what in the world are they saying????
So theyd just hear a convo between the traveler and reader thats like:
Reader: traveler, i gtg asap; tldr i forgot some stuff back in the cr brb
Traveler: wait fr?
Reader: yeah fr
Traveler: lol f
Reader: (sighs) ffs man-- anyways brb for real
Traveler: cya
And the vessels are just watching the exchange like "huh?? What????? What just happened here??????" And theyre just wondering if they used teyvatian to talk in the "divine language of the gods" but nah-- yall are just dickin around AHAHA
Hey, so it came to my attention some of this was AAVE, and while i am southern so things like "ya'll" got included w/o me thinking - thats not an excuse for me to use this as a white person.
so if you wouldnt mind letting me please know if i do this as we talk abt language more and more - i do not want to repeat shit like this again.
I'm genuinely sorry to any black readers out there.
I've personally seen and cringed with you when I see imagines/reader things that assume a white person as default,
All I can do in ur eyes is promise that I am actively putting a stop to my ignorance of things like AAVE, and ask for forgiveness (which you arent obligated to give, never feel that way).
So with that in mind, read the ask below with caution, although it has since been edited.
____
ITS YOU!! >:D
A treat for ur ask my liege 🤲🍪✨️
I think u were literally the first asker after my first SAGAU/Isekai language brainrot post!! Omg u came back with a banger LMAO
What in the public menace is this...
(Gif is traveler and u pranking bitches)
Traveler knowing our world + language + SLANG?? INTERNET?? is SUCH A CONCEPT
So much room for inside jokes
I absolutely love the first one u said about phrases these days/gen z ig? slang
Its like so dramatic now that i think about it
Hate / love / dead / die / just straight up threats towards ur friends as affection or if theyre annoying u 😭
So many explicitives that make it hit harder too "go fucking die, my love <3"
^^^Or yeah like contradictions lol
♤
I think it was @nexylaza (srry abt the tag!) who replied to one of my earlier asks about blunt language how that might sound like to Teyvatians like ur emotions sound more extreme than what u actually feeling (which makes sense ur literally using hate = mildly dislike LMAO)
Same situation here like what u said ^^^
♧
(Ok i did lovely Aether awhile back so we'll go w/ Lumine this time! <3 u Aether!!)
.
*idk at an event/party for your arrival or something, and ya hungry fucks r hoarding the buffet table lol 🍻
.
You: "Shut the fuck up Lumine-"
Lumine: "Why r u pouring ur drink like ur in a earthquake lmao? Shaky hands lol"
.
*The immediate area of people around you go dead silent
*Lumine laughs
💀💀!!
.
Lumine: "Your gonna miss our cups LMAO"
You: "Bitch!" (u grinnin too lol)
.
*the whole rooms now quiet 😭
.
Lumine: "Don't spill- 🤣"
You: "I fucking hate you u whore <3"
(And u give the most genuine like abt to laugh smile🥰 )
.
*...a confused and kinda scared tension fills the room lol
*So poor Noelle, is like, oh. my. god. Creator is that upset with Lumine?? I must try to see what happened, how I can help! I dont remember Lumine doing anything bad to them! Shes wonderful y u do this to her 🥲
.
Noelle: "Uh, um, e-excuse me? Is every-everything al-alright, Y-y-your Majesty?"
You: "Huh? Yeah why??"
Noelle: "...w-well..."
UR FACE LIKE "😗?" LMFAO
.
*The room is staring at Lumine, in a mix of like shock, fear, and a little admiration for taking ur hate?? mood swing??? so well,,
theyre just waiting on Noelle to get an answer from you as to why you hate someone u seemed to care so much about, esp since they were ur first vessel 💀
look what you did their poor hearts u gonna give them a heart attack soon
.
Noelle: "A-a-a-a-are y-y-you s-sure??"
SHE IS SWEATIN
You: "🤨🤨??"
.
*Lumine finally notices why theyre all quiet and kinda concerned looking, bc u sure as hell wouldnt 😭 (i mean it is normal speech for u)
.
And Lumine's like: "No Noelle we're all good! It's just how Your Grace's home world, er, speaks for slang? Its overexagerated purposely dont worry love"
...
...
*Im sure they dont all believe her (or even you if u tell them 😭) and are just like,, REALLY NERVOUS CHUCKLING WHILE LIKE SWEATING-
And it takes a good like 10 minutes for the conversations to start getting back to their volume again, and they all still are looking over their shoulder checking on you guys 😰
.
(U did pour drinks w/o spillin tho🍻)
♡
THE TEXTING SLANNGGG
Ok, but u and Lumine would fucking write letters to people, and being the little shits pranksters u are,
(Bc u kno Teyvat dont got nothing else bc we're in the medival ages, besides having cameras- 🙄 )
And u guys r constantly-
"oh yes yes, that sounds all well and good Keqing, please inform the Qixing that I'll be there ASAP"
AND THEN-
"oh haha, silly me, i forgot that only Lumine/you get that stuff, sorryyyy 😋!!!"
SOME PUBLIC MENACES LMFAO PLEASE
.
And it just spreads to ALLLL the official documents u write or literally any letters sent to anybody-
And everyone else is feeling like the friend that got sacrificed to walk in the grass instead of the sidewalk 💀💀
While also being like "??¿?¿??? 🥲🥲😀😀???"
Is this ancient code?? Why does Lumine get to know it??
Why dont the like??? really old deities understand it??!!
But then nerds like Tighnari, Albedo, Alhaitham, Zhongli, Sucrose, Ayaka, Kokomi, Xingqiu, Childe, Yanfei, Shenhe, Kazhua, Sara, Ayato, Heizou, Cyno, Kaeya
Try to "solve" the letters or slang, poor things and not a single one of them gets it (y did u do this to them lmao)
(God i finally looked at a character list so i wouldnt leave anyone out, but theres so many of these fucks by now help)
^^^But all these ppl try to solve it in different ways/for different reasons that im too lazy to type out individually, u can see it right??
Some see this as an ancient scholarly code thing, some of them think of it like a rlly hard puzzle, and some just rlly want to put the mental effort into knowing/not being left out 😭😭
.
And if anybody happens to see some letter exchanges w/ Lumine or like any written responses, you do not. stop. using. text slang. back to back.
(Like what u put in the ask💀)
And its so miserable for those characters mentioned especially, bc they look like scrambled letters 😭
.
Honestly them seeing u two talk to each other via letters just proves that the letters even mean anything at all to them, bc how did u understand each other, otherwise???!!
.
(No one would ever realize u guys were fucking around unless u told them 💀)
✨️Sorry✨️this✨️isnt✨️that✨️great✨️i✨️just✨️wanted✨️ to✨️ expand✨️ on✨️ what ✨️u ✨️already ✨️had ✨️nothing ✨️new✨️ 🧚🏽♀️🧚🏽♀️
I felt feral and out of it when i wrote this, i literally dont remember a single word i typed on that bullet list..
SO i still have asks/requests im gonna answer but i will be posting my follower event poll!! CLICK ME :) ♡
Yall get to choose what i write about for some posts :D
(You can be a new follower!)
✨️
BTW
UR SO BIG BRAIN SMART 2ND RANDOM U EVEN THOUGHT ABT TEYVATIAN LETTERS GETTING INCLUDED ADHJSLALASLL
WHAT A GENIUS
I hope my shit writing was somewhat ok of a reply to read to pay u back for that great idea lol
Cheers,
🌒🌧🌊Aquarius♒️🌌🌘
♡the beloveds
@karmawonders
#2nd random u just wanna be a public menace i stg#gen z slang/phrases r so dramatic#genshin impact#ask box open#my asks#genshin sagau#sagau#genshin imagines#genshin sagau ideas#gender neutral reader#please send asks#genshin scenarios#genshin god reader#genshin isekai#genshin noelle#noelle x reader
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The tumblr q&a is over, but I was curious! I love all the different phrases the characters in isat/sasasa:p use--If it's something you can say, where did inspiration for "gems alive" and other phrases come from?
THANK YOU FOR ASKING BECAUSE I GET TO TALK ABOUT WORLDBUILDING AND SWEAR WORDS AND BRANDON SANDERSON
long post ahead
ok so when I was figuring out the world, I found this lecture on worldbuilding by Brandon Sanderson (go watch it, and also go read his books), and (im gonna paraphrase heavily here) one thing he mentioned is that, to make a memorable world, one thing you can do is pick a couple areas of culture, and go real deep with it. So like, pick fashion, and architecture, and interior design, and develop those a bunch, and bam! you convinced people you have a whole dang world, even though you only developed 3 areas of this world. hollow iceberg everyone thinks is a real iceberg.
he also mentioned the idea of like... getting weird with it? and develop based on a weird detail? for example, in his book The Stormlight Archives, one detail is that women have to hide their left hand at all times. ok, so what does that mean, whats taboo about a left hand? is the left hand shameful, or lewd somehow, the same way ankles were for us? what about fashion, what does women's fashion look like? and how do you live your every day life, knowing you can't show this hand, can you carry things the same way? etc
SO, for me, one of the Big Worldbuilding pillars i picked was, uh, swear words lol. or language and common expressions, more generally. i went on a whole journey where i was like... ok swear words in a LOT of languages (including french and english, both languages i speak fluently) are either sexual, or about gross bodily discharges. you know what words i mean!!!!!
and, well, i also didnt want the game to be full of those words, mostly because i think its a tightrope to use those words without seeming cringe, and also because i have a Core Memory of showing a comic to a colleague and she said "well i wouldve liked to show it to my kids, but you said fuck 12 times in there" and i didnt show my face to her for a week. family friendly family friendly family friendly
so what swear words should my characters use, that arent the same ones we use? and could those swear words actually tell us something about the world they live in? could i actually use those swear words... to show the characters come from different cultures???
and what COULD swear words be like, if theyre not about sex or body stuff? well irl they're usually about religions or belief. "oh god", "goddamnit", etc. as a sidenote, stuff like "oh my god" or "geez" arent used, because jesus christ is not canon to the ISAT universe. alright
i decided very early on i wouldnt have those in the game either, but i COULD have them be about the religions specific to this world. and for insults, i could have them be about stuff those beliefs would see as lesser.
anyway instead of talking about "gems alive" lets talk about "crab"
isabeau+mirabelle+bonnie use "crab" as a swear word because they follow a religion all around change, bettering yourself, evolving, and, the crab meme,
for those who dont get the joke, its about carcinisation, and about how a bunch of non-crab-like forms somehow evolved to a crab-like form. which would be horrible, for a religion all based around change!!! you mean we change and evolve, but theres a chance we might all become crabs??? CRAB!!!!!!!
anyway having "crab" kinda reads as 1. swear word 2. thats funny and weird (sets the tone) 3. tells you they know what crabs are (world not that different from ours, AND means they live close-ish to the coast, aka not land locked) and 4. crabs are somehow hated/feared, even if as the player you dont get why, it shows this country has its own culture (even if you dont get the crabs joke, which uuuh apparently doesnt work as well in countries that dont have this specific meme. WHATEVER!!!!)
(a few people came to me saying "heh, i get it, because crab and crap are very similar words" and um actually i did not think about that. crab is just a funny word on its own, and also i am a comedy genius without even trying)
anyway tldr: swear words as a worldbuilding tool. soon in theaters
#in stars and time#start again start again start again#'adrienne isabeau says 'oh geez' 1 time in the prologue'#quite honestly this is a mistake and im retconning it. he said 'oh change' instead. will fix whenever i get around to making a new build#reference#also yeah canonically bonnie swears all the time#everyone has just given up and lets them curse like a sailor. bonnie has won#i added a cut but actually no you WILL read this whole post#long post
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Could we see the southern gothic playlist, please?
Oh shit, I missed this, I'm sorry!!
I don't really know how I would share the SG playlist given the current format of it, but everything on there is also on my main playlist! So like. If you don't mind also learning about the REST of my absurd music preferences, you can probably pull together your own.
If I ever do manage to share the SG playlist specifically, I'll make sure it goes on Tumblr too lol
To be fair, tho, it's actually a lot easier to find southern gothic music than you'd think, it's just that you have to be willing to ignore the fact that a lot of people who DON'T LIKE southern gothic are going to mock the aesthetic for being "cringe" or whatever as just like. A cultural staple of socialization?? So some of the artists you get recommended are artists that a lot of people are used to reflexively belittling without knowing much (or anything) about the artist or thekr music. It's not uncommon to really need to push past that "why the fuck would I listen to THEM" response that a lot of us have sort of gotten conditioned into us. Country genres tend to be like that, is the thing. It's this weird combination of people managing to find an angle from which to hate on the majority of country music and its musical dialects, no matter what their socio-cultural position is. And like, yeah, not every country dialect is gonna be for everyone. But if you aren't actually willing to listen to The Devil Went Down to Georgia with an open-mind and a curiosity towards its narrative role in our collective oral tradition, then why would you seek out The Devil Wears a Suit and Tie, or Bottom of the River, or Love's Death Bed?
The barrier I think a lot of people (especially in progressive circles) experience in trying to actually get into Southern Gothic is the Southern part. There's this real mental and emotional block people have around the idea of Southern aesthetics being compatible with their ideological and political concept of "being a good person".
And like. Fine. But that makes it sad how often some of the same people will purport to love Southern Gothic but have a hard time finding enough. That happens when you exclude its originational context from your environment. It's not a bad thing inherently or anything just....an implicit bias that I think a lot of people still carry with them and don't really flag for themselves as being anything other than beneficial for their judgement and decisions.
Anyway. I really hope people DO get more into southern gothic as a whole! It's a great scene and there is such rich metatextual conversations to be had and experiences to revel in! But some of yall may have to get comfy being uncomfy if that's what you want to do
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Tumblr decided I wasn't allowed to send an rant the other day, so you get a marginally better thought out ask now.
As an Icelandic person Icelandic and Nordic language speaker I am very very tired of people throwing in random "old norse" or Icelandic or any of the Scandinavian languages into their fics for idk "Woke" points.
Ended up in the Norse mythology tag on ao3 through some Loki fic exploring and the amount of incorrectly used words was just like *sigh* instant turn off to read that fic.
Some tried their best but obviously didn't research how names work, much like the Eurovision movie writers. Others just took a place or character name with Icelandic letters and then added English grammar rules to it..... its not Ásgarðian it would be "frá Ásgarði" conjugation is a thing and even then in the context they used it should have just been Ásgarðar.
I'm just tired of I guess people attempting to be different and then completely screwing up in that language. Its the same cringe I get when someone throws in random Japanese into a fic.
But since its not as common, our languages much smaller it doesn't get much notice or attention or even discussion.
Its like people even do not realise that Norse Ásatrú is still practiced, it has never truly died out, only gone underground.
Some years ago, about when the second Thor movie was released I had the energy to send someone a message on ff.net and became a sort of translation Beta for them but now I just sigh and move past those fics.
I'm just like am I being unreasonable in asking that people properly research their writing before attempting to use my native language in a fic.
-
Icelandic is so fucking cool. That slow-ass linguistic evolution, man... *chef's kiss*
I don't think you're being unreasonable. Well... okay... expecting people to put even one second of thought into their fic is unwise and possibly unreasonable. LOL.
But being kind of down because you come from a culture people overlook and have no clue is alive and extant is completely reasonable. It's common to everybody who isn't from a tiny handful of countries--and only the most dominant cultural strains therefrom.
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bro..... im sooo tired of ppl being whiny freaks about ppl liking fictional shit ‘~too much~’. like bitches are literally fully convinced if you prefer acting out certain ideas in fiction but not irl, thats not your normal preferential boundaries but rather your brain is a mental illness BOMB and you need to be fucking hospitalized for being imaginative and having autonomy. like yall if its not taboo or smth shut uuuuhp man you’re not ‘concerned for their health’ or w/e you’re fully just tryna get away with being a nihilistic asshole who lacks sympathetic reasoning skills. listen to me. fiction is valuable. the thoughts we have on it are important. the personal lack of value you happen to put on a media is next to worthless. its not a fuckin waste of time dude, creators are people, who live in the real world, they experience it and have ideas through it and about it, they form and tweak their ideas while still definitely existing in the real world, and then put that back into the world with a new angle and new perspective, to share with other people definitely encountering it in , you guessed it , the real world. thats not disconnected. its not nothing. these things do not magically appear from fairytale land, they are created. stories mean smth, people tell them for a reason, its ok to feel smth for any story, why would we even tell them if not with the intention to impact others emotionally somehow i mean??? fiction does not Just affect reality, it is valuable to real life society, it is a functioning thriving part OF reality.
humans have told stories since the dawn of our existence. it is literally all but an inherent species trait for us to imagine things, its tied to each and every one of us, and to reject ‘fantasy’ as smth worthless to human life is frankly just fuckin wrong and weird of you. bitch we are Supposed to get outside the box, the fandom ppl you cringe your pants over arent thinking abt fake shit too much, you guys very often just arent exercising abstract thought and imagination enough, which actually hurts your ability to engage with it critically in all the ways its meant to be. if you dont see the value in fiction its because you put in no effort to form the analysis skills. in other words, you idiots dont get the hype bc you’re too stupid to get how you're supposed to compare a book to the real world it came from. ‘uu but cmon not everythings valuable what about [tumblr designated cringe media]-’ 1. ok! somehow you havent come to this conclusion yourself yet but thats not real, whatever ppl get to enjoy is not all abt you, your bias means less than dirt to others outside of hivemind social medias, you can keep it to yourself, ppl shouldnt care about it bc it means nothing outside of ur own space, its literally funny to me that you’re so elitist you want me to cater my interests to you, Your Standard Of Quality Isnt Universal, 2. ranking the values of fiction is the waste of time here, if you compare mlp to pride and prejudice ill dissect your teeth, different emotional impacts from tragic to funny to Just A Vibe are all able to be assessed as ‘valuable to somebody else so leave well enough alone’ if you dont have 2010+ funnyman brainrot disease that makes you incapable of reflecting on anything you can find a way to joke abt first.
i mean seriously like. whenever randos start engaging with medias you ppl dont like or in ways you dont get, the strawmans yall make up to get to be cringe culture vultures abt such benign shit, and almost Always at the expense of neurodivergent people with a deeply rooted undertone of extreme ableism might i add..... its just so selfish. u have a brain ok, you’re manipulative but we both know you dont Actually think ppl automatically default to being a waifu obsessed incel rotting away at their basement computer, stagnating their social skills and straying further and further from reality with each passing day, a poor disturbed wretch that you just HAVE to save from themselves, all bc they say they. prefer fictional porn or w/e to having sex irl. buddy thats not a big deal, theyre normal, just different from you. theyre fine, you’re just uncomfortable. as a functioning adult you’re gonna have to try and recognize that sometimes that feelings gonna be 100% on you, and you cant always just lie abt the validity of it to make ppl feel obligated into agreeing with you. this is gonna be one fragment of their personhood and your self obsessed brain imploding over how unrelatable that is doesnt fucking matter, grow up bitch like. how detached do you have to be to think thats so unstable or morally wrong.... its just a completely inconsequential preferential decision that only affects them and isnt a wrong choice at all cuz nobody has to get their dick wet if they dont wanna for any reason ever and thats gotta be that tbh.... and it kills me cuz they still inherently experience the real world and are capable of thinking abt it critically,,, even tho they... masturbate to drawings or w/e the fuck ppl think is unhealthy ???? like? imagination is just fun we dont need to moderate it anymore than we moderate other fun activities i mean lol ksdjfsd this is the DEFINITION of ‘just vibing’ no one FUCKING cares and it deosnt fucking matter the way you desperately try to make ppl think it does just so u get to be loud abt ur shortcomings as a decent understanding person.
‘uuuuuu im sorry but thats unhealthy :///’ you sound like a goddamn maniac dude stories are not unhealthy having feelings abt them is not unhealthy thinking some anime bitch that was DRAWN TO BE HOT , IS HOT, is not UNHEALTHY and you clowns arent convincing anybody you ‘care’ abt that concept anyways !! im losign my mind here skdlsdfsd medias are literally DESIGNED TO DO THIS TO PEOPLE... WE’RE SUPPOSED TO FEEL THINGS FOR IT.... IT IS WHAT MAKES THE ART WE’VE TAKEN PART IN FOR CENTURIES, “ART”.... ITS JUST... HAVING IDEAS AND EXPERIENCING IMAGINATION..... whats wildly unhealthy actually is yalls toxic obsession with ‘harsh truth’ and validating your stupid ass cwinge feewings to the point where everything that gives your underdeveloped selfish ass hives has to be a matter of health and morals and whats ‘best’ for everyone. u dont know that shit!!!! ur a petty brat and im not ur mommy ok i wont baby you so u dont feel like the shitty whiny person you are, you need to grow and do better and think outside urself already, dont put the responsibility of making u feel right for judging somebodies benign hobbies on me. i wont bc its wrong and unnecessary. you’re not a savior no ones falling for that lmao you’re just a bitch girl xoxo get over it shit truly does not matter. let them write nsfw self insert fics instead of banging !!
to make it real do yall really not Get that basic consent kinda doesnt just mean ‘no when im not in the mood at the time’ but it means ‘no if i just dont fuckin feel like having sex ever for literally any reason at all bc i choose what i do’ and pressuring them, even with what your warped brain translates as the best of intentions, is inherently disgusting? especially with the ‘i know how to help you’ attitude like......... ohhh die soonly ew lmao! lay off this nasty shit already please it doesnt matter! stop trying to make it matter!! its not hurting you or them you stupid tumblr phd ass!! and like again yeah some media shits just truly gross but tbr now its like even That kind of shit, the Real social issues caused by Actually problematic media that ppl should discuss Genuinely without ulterior motives, is being used more and more rampantly as just a stepping stone to get to the needless mockery of other harmless things in the media they want an excuse to bag on.......... like a bitch cant just be grown and talk about problems at face value without getting a bully jab in. smhhhhh you all fuckin suck please just stop talking already. so anyways yeah being attracted to fictional characters instead of real people or w/e IS funny, funny how many boyfriends they have when u have none xoxo theyre having fun and you can die sad abt it they get to die 5 times in an angsty fantasy fic and be brought back with mouth to mouth by fuckin kakashi every time and then they go get lunch irl while ur updating tinder bitch ... different fucking strokes ig !
#long post//#i would like one free ticket to pop off please. thank you#can i cash it in immediately if you dont mind
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PLEASE explain how gamergate killed superwholock omg
to massively oversimplify it, gamergate —> rise of (right-wing specifically) “cringe culture” and disdain for feminine-coded transformational fandom even in communities that wouldn’t consciously propagate something like that —> superwholock was all feminine-coded transformational fandom, the source material for super and lock at least was alien from its fanon at best and actively disdainful towards its fans at worst
and this is all just cause and effect, no value judgments, because i don’t think it’s bad per se that we collectively moved on from superwholock, i think it made a lot of people more willing to critique these previously ~venerated~ objects of media and more willing to critique media in general. plus it meant we moved on from superwholock lol. but, and this was totally at least partially dashcon too, but notice how pre and post 2014 tumblr was so different in how it thought of itself. like i don’t think that sudden shame was just from dashcon being a massive failure, i think if it weren’t for the shift in rising vitriol towards feminist fandom (which tumblr represents/represented to most people) the narrative would have been more “these dashcon people scammed OUR TUMBLR FAMILY, can you believe it?” instead of “fuck this website” yk
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TL;DR melancholic rant on why I took the writing in WoW so badly this year just to get it all out and finish my fucking five stages of grief spin routine.
Gonna read more it, it’s probably gonna end up super long and unedited really so don’t feel obligated to read lol
I am one of those losers that has been with Warcraft for the whole 25 years. I watched the company grow from “check out this FULL GAME coming with this gaming magazine! it’s called Warcraft: Orcs and Humans!” to being the biggest MMO around and celebrating 25 years while the world is burning.
And when I was younger, it was perfect. It had everything. Nice gameplay, cool and funny voices, decent graphics for its time, cool models, and it started having a story too. Perf!
I never got along well with my brother, but by the gods the only fond memories I have of him are centered around Warcraft. Watching him play WC1. Him teaching me to play WC2. Me playing WC3. Him leaving our abusive home to hide out in internet cafes, and my parents sending me to look for him, and us just staying in there for hours, me watching him play WC3. Fond memories of us getting our two toaster computers hooked up for LAN to play WC over it.
Then WoW came, and my brother first got us an US account - it was impossible to play cross-region back then, our lag was immense, in the thousand of ms on a good day. So then an EU account. First rolled on Sylvanas, one of the biggest servers back then, then on Twisting Nether. I would skip school just so I could play because my toaster wouldn’t run it, only my brother’s computer, so when he was at work I’d be skipping high school playing WoW (I did fine, don’t worry). I invested so much time into my vanilla account it’s surreal. I wouldn’t be shocked if I found out it has more /played than the rest of my life in the game.
I met my ex on TN. I still have my vanilla account and characters on EU TN. The relationship with my ex doesn’t matter, it was abusive, toxic, I was a dumb optimist that stayed in it, doesn’t matter.
He tried to get me to stop playing WoW. I still remember many instances when he went off on me for seeing me online, it’s 5 years since I broke up with him and like 8 since I stopped playing WoW with him and my heart still skips a beat when I get a whisper or hear the guild member login sound. It was that bad. He sure did his best to make me play the game only with him, “because he didn’t trust me and I would cheat on him through the game” - guys, if any of you are in this boat, please please please, put your foot down or break up. Your interests should be sacred and respected, as should be your entire person. But I digress.
Instead of breaking up, I went the mature route of buying a US license, and playing it while he was at work or I was visiting my parents. I rolled on a RP server for the first time ever, and it was probably the best decision of my life, so, gotta thank my abusive ex for that. I met many wonderful people, have many wonderful things on that account, and another 7 years of wonderful things on my EU account.
Then, the community itself. I hate it. Believe me, I hate the playerbase and fanbase of WoW with a burning passion. But at the same time, I have met amazing, wonderful, intelligent, friendly people I love and respect and wish the best for (if you’re reading this you’re part of this, yes, don’t let your brain trick you into thinking you’re a horrible person lol).
This is another fun arc. I started in the cringe culture. OCs are lame, who makes OCs lol. Then I became, I make OCs and cringe culture can die. Same with characters, but it’s different there. Oh, so different.
See, I began by loving the obvious characters - Thrall, Jaina, Sylvanas, Tyrande, Malf, the works. I didn’t even like Garrosh much as his arc was unfolding - between the thing with my ex, quitting Cataclysm, changing regions and restarting, I didn’t really have a chance to dwell into him fully. He became a villain and I was all yeah okay. Iguess.jpg. I even wanted him out of the story at his peak edgelord moments because I liked Anduin more obviously. WoD was something I did not process almost at all because I was high on a cocktail of pain meds and post-partum depression and sleep deprivation. Legion was pointless bullcrap in my eyes on the main story factor, and I sort of enjoyed BFA until the whole Saurfang sucks Sylvanas fucks deal in the writer dept and fandom.
Deciding to finally read the novels I had missed out on, and reading War Crimes, was what propelled me into “hahahahahah these idiots actually acquitted Garrosh of crimes in this book? Are they for fucking real?” and actually realizing the entire arc was a complete mess, BFA is a mess, the writer dept is a mess, and suddenly, I had no footing to stand anymore. A spit in the face, and then it overlapped the Saurfang hErOiC sAcRiFiCe special edition. I sort of had a breakdown and I hid it behind “well Saurfang was hot lol now I don’t have my orc grandpa anymore” but it was deeper than that.
See, when we get into a setting, we have this selfish expectation that it will grow with us. That it will mature with us. Keep up with us. That we will always enjoy this setting, definitely not as starry eyed as we did as children, but that it will always be good. ATLA is a great example. Dragonlance is still good. Star Wars may be hammy and have tons of issues now as an adult, but it’s still good.
But Warcraft was my lifeblood for 25 years.
And to know that not only it did not grow with me, but it regressed beyond belief, destroyed me in a strange sense. Kind of like losing a friend, a family member. They didn’t just kill Saurfang for me, the setting died with him as far as I’m concerned. Because he was the last bastion of what interested me in it.
I am that weirdo that loves, loves, war movies and books. I devour them. That was part of my downfall, and the writers and fanbase of WoW so often make it feel like it is, somehow, MY FAULT (just like Garrosh getting backstabbed repeatedly was his fault I guess?)
It feels like it’s my fault that I care about weird things like the Geneva Conventions, and the Paris Conventions, and so on and so forth. It feels like I’m the idiot for knowing basic military tactics and conventions. It feels like I’m the idiot for wanting WARcraft to, at all, even a little bit, bear any resemblance to real wars, to real military tactics, to genuine war stories with genuinely well written soldiers. In my folly and pride, I forgot it’s first and foremost, a fantasy setting, a simplistic one at that.
It insulted me these guys can’t even google what consists a war crime. It insults me to my core these guys paint the ONE (1) character who goes all “hey maybe.... weird concept but..... maybe not kill kids, or torture prisoners, or kill unarmed soldiers and civilians. Maybe show COMPASSION”, that this guy had to go. It also insults me the only other character who listened to him - Garrosh, yes - was written as the setting’s biggest fucking villain to this day, and it needed some real fucking propaganda and twisting of the OBJECTIVE narrative to get that to pass, and yet it successfully passed by so many, including myself years ago as it unfolded.
At this point, it’s insulting to see the same themes - mentally unstable or hurt people deserve to suffer and die, there is no happiness because happiness and happy endings are for toddlers, we are just edgelords jacking off to our self inserts, world isn’t fair because real world isn’t fair anyway kiddo grow up, and what the fuck is honor even we just make it up no? Also objective facts and lore? Fuck that who cares lmao.
Here’s the deal.
War stories NEED hope. I can handle watching a whole regimen be killed in brutal ways in war, because REAL war stories always leave you SOMETHING at the end that was worth the whole pain. In a REAL war story, perhaps Saurfang would have still committed suicide by proxy in front of everyone, but people around him would have actually then gone and maybe fucking went “you know what he was correct. Let’s write the Geneva Conventions.” In a REAL war story, it would have been handled so much better. And perhaps, in a REAL war story, he would have survived. With so much loss, so much pain, and yet - with HOPE. Hope, for HIMSELF, for the future. Not the generic bullshit hOpE they tried to write into him. yOu CaNt KiLL hOpE.......
Yes, you can.
You fucking can.
By killing off the last fucking character in the setting that cared about actual military honor (not just the buzzword it is in this fandom and setting), the last fucking character that cared about tomorrow, about fighting for a better world.
That’s how you kill hope.
And in my eyes, they did so damn well.
Because I don’t want to sit around and be insulted for another 25 years that I’m the only idiot who expects tactics, honor, a good outcome, a hopeful ending. Because I have reached the point I hate being in this game only to hear sTrEnGtH aNd hOnOr when it literally means nothing. Because I reached a point I hate watching the double standards they apply to their precious babes while the minor characters get thrown under the bus for way less. Because I reached a point where the fandom trying to go all “but Alex, someone has to set a precedent for a war crime trial!” means jack shit when nobody ELSE has been tried for any war crimes AFTER Garrosh (which would’ve been PEACHY by the fucking way). Because I got to a point Blizzcon gave me goddamn anxiety every time someone IMed me to tell me an announcement, and I got to a point I blacklisted half the tags on tumblr because I walk in to read what my friends have been up to and some damn Discourse makes its way to my dash, only for me to find myself feeling stupid and in the wrong for liking Saurfang. Not even Garrosh, which I would admit is Problematic(tm) but goddamn Saurfang.
Leave it to this setting and fandom for making me feel stupid and idiotic and in the wrong for loving the goddamn war movie protagonist.
And at the end of it all, after much debate, I don’t think I will quit the setting. Writers don’t care, about their lore, about their characters, about us. The other fans don’t care who they hurt with their edgy rhetoric, I sure as fuck didn’t when I was younger and dumber myself. I’m sure eventually the wound will close completely and I’ll dissociate again from the story and fanbase and enjoy the gameplay and my very wonderful friends. First step in that, just for me, is to not buy Shadowlands. The xpack after, perhaps, it depends. But just out of spite, I will be that one idiot who has a sub running but doesn’t give a +1 sale on Shadowlands. Just for myself.
Second step...? Who knows.... Who the hell knows what tomorrow will bring... This has indeed hurt worse than anything in my life. I have been going through the stages of grief - jokingly or seriously - since 8.2.5 now (and a whole load of 5 months of pure anger before that processing Garrosh’s arc from an objective standpoint). I cried more over the death of Saurfang (and the setting) than over my ex of 10 years leaving me as a single mom, or over all my other relationships combined. I’m not ashamed to admit that even if it’s cRiNgY. Like I said, it wasn’t just the death of one fictional character, but the death of a setting I loved and grew up with. The final acceptance that there is nothing left for me in the setting that shaped my interests, art, writing, and all that. That my interests have gone too far in other directions - optimism, actual war stories, good stories, being a mature individual, acknowledging mentally ill or divergent characters and not making excuses for author darlings. It’s a weird thing... Like the final acceptance that I have lost what could qualify as a dear friend or family member. While they are still alive and interacting with me daily. Like a breakup. But way worse.
It is a pain I wish on noone honestly.
But I do hope against hope, like an idiot, that other settings, other writers, future generations of writers, will do better. I know they won’t. But I’ll take my sliver of hope.
And if you read this far, I do genuinely hope the game - this game, any other interests - will keep bringing joy to you. And also, help yourself to a cookie. Thanks <3 I wish you a good day/weekend.
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endgame thoughts, not because i think i have anything valuable to say abt it, more just bc i want to get my initial unsullied opinions out before various overly nitpicky or overly praisy internet thinkpieces come around
okay so. first of all, i’m tired to death of the way folks talk about the mcu. like, it’s either a godly feat of everything and the most important thing ever or the literal devil incarnate and the source of all evil in this world. i am literally so fucking bored of both these perspectives and have zero time for either of them.
yes, the mcu is emblematic of a lot of problems in the current state of the film medium as a whole. yes, it is also a really cool feat of storytelling that a whole bunch of movies spanning a whole bunch of years could all come together and culminate in a big huge blowout finale. yes, it could have been far better, but yes, it also could have been far worse.
i wasn’t a fan of thor being a punchline in this film. like, the whole “lol thor fat” thing was like, really tired and not cool. and the fact that his genuine moments of expressing grief and the significant trauma he’s been through were played off for laughs more often than not bc “lol thor supposed to be big many man but he’s crying like a wimpyboy instread.” like, fucking please. it’s 2019 and other male characters were allowed to be shown crying and processing their trauma but thor’s??? not allowed for some reason??? anyway they did him dirty in this movie and i’m not super pleased abt that.
i didn’t like that they fridged natasha. i’m not a fan of scarjo so much these days, but i did like natasha. 2012 me adored her and was 100000% behind her as the Only Woman (despite being miffed that she was the Only Woman) and i really liked her character and redemption arc through the films that she appeared in. and like, i get the justification for fridging her. like i get that she was this assassin who killed a bunch of folks and in the end, not only wiped out the red in her ledger, but saved the whole damn universe in doing so. i get that. i’m just annoyed that they literally went and fridged the Only Woman to give the boys manpain before the third act.
speaking of the ladies.... the One Scene Where Women Get To Do Things. my god. the critical feminist part of my mind greatly resented the obvious lip service of that scene, and the fact that the ladies only got the one shining moment before we got back to the sausage fest. but lord, the lesbian part of my mind hella enjoyed it. like i was legit bouncing in my seat like YESSSS FUCK EM UP LADIES i was just completely stoked.
and my god. MY GOD CAN WE TALK ABOUT CAROL’S HAIRCUT AKA A GIFT TO THE LESBIANS. THIS MOVIE HAS MANY SINS BUT WE CAN ALL THANK IT FOR THAT HAIRCUT. (and again, feminist me is like, hey, dont focus on her appearance, focus on the important shit she did in singlehandedly turning the battle around for everyone, but lesbian lizard brain is hhhhhhhhhhhhh girl hot)
anyways. 2012 me was a month out of a major jaw surgery when i saw the first avengers, puffy faced, on heavy painkillers, and unable to eat any solid foods, and just generally weak and miserable. i dragged myself to the theatre and i smiled the whole way through that movie bc even though i was feeling super shitty, that 360 shot of the team made me so excited and happy. so happy that i watched and rewatched a bootleg download over what was probably the worst summer of my life, and it made me happy and gave me hope, dumb as that may sound.
i havent watched the first avengers movie in a long time, and i’m not sure if i’d feel the same way seeing it now. remembering how it felt then still makes me happy, but seeing that same 360 shot repeated in endgame didnt stoke much emotion. tumblr fandom took a lot of my avengers joy away. the drama and character hate and constant complaining and cringe culture bullshit exhausted me. and the recent turns of the mcu also contributed to that. a lot of things contributed to it, i guess. but i dont feel as happy as i once did. so a lot of this movie rang a little bit hollow, needless to say.
that being said, though, i did feel a little flicker of that joy. for all the movie’s and the franchise’s faults, of which there are many, i can say that the moment where all those portals opened up and the revived characters stepped though, i felt that happiness again. i legit almost cried when i saw shuri’s silhouette step out of that circle. that moment when the score came in with that booming version of the avengers theme, i was 2012 me again, just for a moment, and i think that’s worth something. to me, that’s worth something. so for all its sins, i thank the movie for that.
this is rly rambly and im tired so im just gonna say 2 more things. things i’m not personally super invested in, but other people are, and so i feel i need to have an opinion on em.
first is bucky. i fucking adore him, and i am kinda miffed that he got like, no interactions with steve. i know steve/peggy is the canon ship, i knew it was always endgame (heh) and that stucky is just a fandom thing. but god damn it, even if they were never gonna have their relationship go there (which tbh i literally never even came close to expecting to happen) it still feels a little bit unfair to have steve basically ignore probably the most important person in his life. like, i know he wanted to live his happy straight life with peggy, and passing on the shield and identity of captain america to sam is super important, and i loved that moment and would never begrudge him that bc i adore sam. i was just... really sad that bucky had to get kinda shafted for that. (literally all i was saying in the last half hour was “but where’s bucky? but what about bucky?” our boy deserved better.
second is tony. tony tony tony. i know folks have a lot of strong feelings about him, both ways. i know of folks who think he’s the scum of the earth for some dumb reason, and i personally know others who think the entire mcu should revolve around him, for equally dumb reasons. i’m more neutral. i think he’s a good character who made questionable decisions in the past. i feel for him and his struggles with PTSD. i respect him as a character in-universe and also for what he and RDJ accomplished. like, if he hadn’t hit it out of the park with that first movie like a fucking decade ago, none of this would have been possible, and i think that’s pretty damn cool, regardless of feelings on the monster juggernaut the mcu has turned into. basically, i know some folks are maliciously rejoicing at his death while complaining that he got a hero’s send-off when he is a Bad And Not Morally Pure Man, which is. boring. and other people (namely one who i know personally in my family) who are mad because he is an Angel and deserved the Best Happy Ending Because No Bad Things Are Allowed To Happen To This Perfect Boy. i’m not here for either opinion. i’m okay that he died (peter crying over him did get to me in a huge way, but i think tom holland just has a power that if he’s crying, i’m crying so idk). i think it’s cool that he got to save everyone and got a heroic and well deserved send off. this isnt a revolutionary opinion i just wanted to throw it out there bc im bored with the polarization.
and... yeah? i think that’s it? sorry, im really tired and this probs doesn’t make sense but i just felt like i had to get the initial reactions and feelings down before the thinkpieces get to me lmao.
oh, also nebula deserved better 2kforever i just love her a lot and want her to be happy and not suffer, kthxbye
#og#a4 spoilers#spoilers#endgame spoilers#avengers spoilers#avengers endgame spoilers#do you think i've tagged this thoroughly enough yet?#this is legit just boring and nonsensical rambling sorry
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yes, english :3. it's funny my country is literally known for its diversity & endless languages (and it flexes about it too lmao) but in reality does nothing to help in/encourage learning other languages. hindi & eng are the only languages schools teach & 3rd one depends on what state you live in. minority languages are not even in options.
ahhh learning that people out there are trying to preserve their languages and culture <3 it feels good to know, i hope they keep doing it that's really great!
hehe that's good no? :3 trying out new stuff even if only for some time also has its charm <3 and oh godddd those are great picks! 24h & fallin flower will never fail to amaze me <3 callx3 & hit, so trueee i agree! i personally like 'oh my' too! along w/ these. since it clearly speaks for the song's lyrics. like wonu controlling the human cube in start & the thinking poses during chorus. it all vibes so well with the song's concept. i really like when choreo clearly speaks the song to the audience.
yesss ofc! i plan to complete vincenzo before year ends dhjdjdkd. NO WAYYY! PLEASE COME TO HOMECHA UNIVERSE <3 you'll love it here!! dimple couple are very wholesome so are others 🥺.
yes those are the playlists made by spotify! usually i don't like playlists' made by the app for other songs but with kpop especially for indie and rnb songs, i do sometimes check it.
cringe domestic boy made ME a cringe fan today, yza 😭 feeling so deranged rn </3. so many pictures by mr joshu??? are we living in right universe? (maybe i should b*lly him more? this is a sign) ALSO omg i've never heard abt joshua and woozi covering a 1d song fhdjjrkrkedn good for them djjdkddk.
HFJDDKSK 'forgotten love' <//3 next project. but yeah that's true, there is literally so much happening i feel like if i were to pay attention to everything i'd be overwhelmed.
the way you asked abt cb and they dropped the poster dhdjjdkd, i was going to say i actually don't have any particular thing in mind but i'd really like something like fear or good to me or getting closer. something stronger, also yes i agree w you we need some cock music <3 ( ik the insta pictures are behind pictures from their merch shoot but all these soft nature pictures on insta while their other social media accounts have dark layout is so funny to me 😭😭😭 pls don't shatter my strong fiery cb expectations svt)
i'm so surprised that they dropped the poster one month before cb, even more surprised with the scheduler too omggg 😭😭 i've become so used to 2 - 1.5 week before, cb announcements now lmao.
something abt this cb feels so different <3 ( also hoping for studio choom & dance relay this time </3 i miss it 🥺)
that's good to know <3 hope this good energy with uni persists for you <3. also saw that you'll get time during cb release that's so good <3 hope you get to enjoy it to the fullest. i'm doing great! it's raining too much here (it shouldn't rn 💀) so that's lil meh but overall i'm good, thank you for asking <3. omg pls 💗🥺 sending you a hug back!
hjdkdsk i was trying different font to make ask look lil smaller hddjdjkd but yes i do copy- paste bcoz i type in notes first :3 (in case tumblr decides its hungry which has not happened yet hdjdjd) - 🪂
ohh now i get it </3 it's still mostly like that here too, and a lot of native languages of ours are dying as well. it's one of the things i'm so sad abt :/ that's why i was v surprised when they somehow started incorporating more into secondary education!!
LOOOVE THAT PERSPECTIVE SM 😭 im just out here feeling like a jack of all trades, master of none lmao HFHJFDH ALSO YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! svt's peak summer concept (... or is it the only hdshjds) tbh <3 i love the choreo on the 2nd half of the chorus sm <3 also v great point!! a lot of creative directors focus on that and the way u presented this just piqued my interest bc... wow their methods Work Well HJDHJDSH
i haven't watched kdramas in a while (mostly bc they're so long fjfhdj) until i came across vincenzo and im so glad i did <3 JHDSHJDSJ SORRY I KEEP TALKING ABT IT ENDLESSLY!! BUT ALSO OMG a lot of my classmates have also been talking abt hometown chax3 and i keep putting it in my list but i saw that it's not finished yet?? is it not?? am i crazy??? from what i've seen on netflix new eps come weekly??? and if i become obsessed and the new ep takes a WHOLE ASS WEEK to come out... what then... but IM SOOO PUMPED FOR IT the previews i have been seeing look so cute </3
ALSO OMG ME TOO!!! i was actually v v surprised when i checked out one of the daily mixes and none of the songs in them were flops HJDHJ
HONESTLY,,, I GET IT,,,,,,, JOSHUA'S BEEN TAKING UP SPACE IN MY CRAMMED BRAIN TOO LIKE,,,, SIR,,,, NOT IN FRONT OF MY SALAD,,??? ALSO,,,,, JOSH FROM THE TEASER,,, OH MY GO,D,,, I NEVER KNEW I NEEDED BAD BOY JOSH IN MY LIFE????????? LIIKE??????????????? I NEVER EVEN IMAGINED IT WAS POSSIBLE????????????????????????? THAT I WOULD BE SEEING T H A T IN MY LIFETIME????????????/ CHURCH BOY JOSH,,, LOOKING LIKE THIS????????????????????????? HELP MEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
and yes omg there were 2 performances of it iirc HFHJFDHJ here's the first one and another one 😭 also i can't find the josh x jihoon vid (i forgot the song title hfdhf) so here's predebut josh w sunday morning instead hfjhfd HJDSJHSD
and that's v v good that you're doing it at your own pace <3 love that <3 i feel like im working some kind of job keeping up w it all ngl 😭
AND HELL YEAH OH MY GODDD WE MIGHT ACTUALLY BE GETTING A MIX OF ALL THOSE BASED ON THE CONCEPT TRAILER??? WE'RE NOT ONLY GETTING COCK MUSIC, LOOKS LIKE WE'RE GETTING ROCK AS WELL 😭 ALSO UR SO RIGHT HFDHJDFJHFD there's literally no in between when u go to their official ig page they're like,,,,, here's some cute dicon teasers <3 oh and hoshi + mg being whores,,, AND THEN SOME COTTAGECORE BOYS!! <3 and now some fucking cock teasers <3 WHAT IS GOING ON 😭😭😭 everyday i wake up to new shit and although it is Some Work keeping up w them i love it sm it keeps me from going insane w real life fhjdfhj also i know we already talked abt this previously but w all the things coming out rn.... i ask... once again... How... do they have 276 hours in a day wtf 😭
ALSO YES WITH MY WHOLE FUCKING CHEST????????????????????????????????????? i was so surprised when it dropped 😭 i wasnt expecting anything so i turned off all my notifs that day so i could focus on studying and alas.... i was 40 mins late to the announcement oh my god
WHY ARE UR TAKES SO GOOD <3 UR SO VALID AND UR SO RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i just know,,, that the studio choom vid will take me out,, i KNOW IT,,, they really seem to be hyping up this cb it really does feel v diff and v Big to me <3 by the looks of it they really should tho it looks like a fucking banger!!
AND NAURR THE WAY U EVEN SAW THAT </3 i have the power of god and anime on my side this semester ig HJFHJFDHJFD i was honestly super worried (i kinda need to touch grass rn lol) that i would be late to the cb since my classes end at 7 pm and the boys usually release by 6 HJDHJSD but it seems like they're targeting another market now so i'm also relieved and excited for them!! and thank u omg, WE will enjoy it together!! <3 the global warming really is so- also do u not like rainy days or 👀 on the other hand it's SOOO fucking hot here when it should be raining so????????????? god what is HAPPENING.
also that is v smart of u <3 i've had WAYY too many asks get eaten.. you stay safe out there 😭😭😭
AGAIN!! LOVE U THANK U FOR HANGING OUT W MEEEE <3 IM SO EXCITED TO SPEND THIS CB W U!!
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All the questions
1. Dream girl + Dream date?
It’s cringe as fuck but I’ve already got my dream girl. Whoops! Date wise would be something spontaneous and finishing with a real good sunset somewhere. Taking photo of things and each other is always a good plus, so I think a good day in a city or at the beach ticks those boxes.
2. Would you say that you have a “type”? Have you ever crushed on anyone outside who’s not your type?
I think I have a little bit of a type, brunette and often more on the butch/masc side than myself. Just a genuine good person is awesome. I’ve crushed on a couple of blondes and not nice people in my time haha although most are celebs.
3. What female body part do you find to be the most attractive? What do you consider to be your most attractive feature?
Thighs and collar bone/neck area damn damn damn. I’d say my eyes aren’t too bad haha.
4. How do you let your girlfriend/partner know you appreciate her?
We get each other flowers every month which is a sweet tradition I think shows a lot and there’s always the odd surprise every now and again from us both to keep each other on our toes. We have cute little traditions too.
5. What’s the sweetest thing your girlfriend/partner has ever said to you?
Ooooo there’s a fair few. I think ‘you make me happier than anyone else does’ is a biggie of mine, but she says such beautiful stuff all the time.
6. Would you like to have kids or pets with a s/o someday?
Doggos definitely, never wanted kids in the slightest but I’m warming to the idea as long as I don’t have to push it out.
7. Do you consider yourself butch/femme? What does butch/femme culture mean to you?
I took a test once and it said I was ‘soft androgyne’ which is like in the middle but slight leanings to femme though pressure. Butch/femme is cool if thats what you wanna follow but I just wear/act what/how I like and I think its a fairly weighted balance of both.
8. Most embarrassing thing you’ve done in front of a cute girl?
Ate like a pig on a first date. :)
9. Did you identify as something different before realising that you were a lesbian? What made you realise
I came out as Bi purely because I hated the connotations and stigma around ‘lesbian’, I knew it wasn’t the case but I think I realised when I just dropped the whole gushing about boys all together as soon as a little bit of me came out haha. I appreciate the male aesthetics tho haha.
10. Have you ever accidentally outed yourself?
Oh yes I have :)
11. Least favorite lesbian stereotype? Do you fit any lesbian stereotypes?
That we’re all butch asf. I wear too much flannel for my own good.
12. When did you first come out? Was it planned? How did it go? What advice do you have for people who are planing on coming out?
I came out properly at 16 ( on International Women’s Day, ironically unplanned in that sense). I wrote a letter to my mum with the guidance of a openly LGBT teacher at my school. Mum was good at first thought but not too down with it in retrospect (spoiler turned out mint tho), didn’t go swimmingly with the teacher stuff tho. Cliche but just take your time and do it when your comfortable with yourself, don’t buckle to the pressure of others.
13. Least favorite homophobic Tumblr discourse topic?
I feel uneducated for not knowing what this means haha.
14. Favorite baby gay story?
Discovering the L Word and Lip Service
15. Which lesbian flag do you prefer?
I don’t know the lesbian flags whoops am I out of the club?
16. Do you have any favorite characters who are canonically lesbians?
Uhhhh I’m not sure!
17. What characters do you headcanon as lesbians? Do you ship them with anybody?
I used to like Max and Chloe from Life Is Strange but then I got on the AmberPrice train instead haha (geek talk lol end me)
18. Do you have any favorite lesbian ships? Are any of them canon? If you could make only one lesbian ship canon (pre-existing ships included), which one would you choose?
Pricefield is yummy but so cliche lol. Ships sounds so fangirly and that hasn’t been my thing for like 4 years haha.
19. What would you say is the best thing about being a lesbian?
Girls. (+ Hayley Kiyoko’s Expectations Album)
20. Do you have any advice or words of encouragement for young lesbians who are just becoming aware of their sexuality?
There’s no stress, rush, or pressure! Be your own person and understand yourself first before trying to understand others, although discovery is also apart of the process of course! You got this
21. Write a question of your own here!
A question would be helpful to answer for this one
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Part 2 - Jikoshoukai (it’s looooooooong so please bear reading it at your own risk orz)
* I’m in my late twenties, but looks like a teenager; one time a jeepney driver mistaken me for a college student and gave me fare discount.
* Am a Taurus, I think iirc an A+? (have forgotten about it since high school, during our physical examination at the school clinic), and my birth date sounds like a Star Wars phrase pun.
* Height’s more or less a 5’5” (until that realization a month ago, I always go on believing that I’m a 5’3” lol).
* You can describe me as a (kinda) my-pace type of girl, but in my case, more like a girl who does things in a whim and more or less likely to regret doing them.
* Always bullied since childhood, that’s why I hold grudges until now haha
* First impressions (when I see one) are hit or miss. When a person did something that make me, say, cringe... 👎🏻 unless I can see some progress.
* Also cringed at wrong grammar and spelling (gdi so many apostrophe S’s I kennat—), no offense.
* Is a cat person nyaa~
* Always been drawing stuff since childhood, wherever I can set my pen/pencil/coloring materials/etc on....even on borrowed books at our university library. Shh~
* Speaking of books, since the age of two I frequently read and read and read lots of reading materials—ranging from novels to newspapers to magazines etc. Had a collection of them at home btw, paperbacks and US magazine backissues, mostly. Amongst them, had a few Jan Karon books (under the Mitford Years series) and some Lorna Landvik novels.
* Speaking of library, this is like second home to me... lots of books, computer stations, wifi (lol), air conditioning system (another lol), solo study cubicles to take a nap on whenever time calls for it, and you can borrow almost all of the books (max. 5-6 at a time).
* I’m one of the lucky few who are referred to as the Batang ‘90s (‘90s Kids)—because, unlike kids nowadays, we’ve experienced watching Tagalog-dubbed anime during weekday afternoons after school in the 1990’s and 2000’s-early 2010’s, for one.
* An anime enthusiast, always watching anime and reading manga, one of the reasons why I draw until this day—the other because of my dear aunt (may God always bless her soul~ Also am the Secretary of my college alma mater’s anime club for I guess two years idk? Ahaha~
* Cosplayed twice during college: the first one is a disaster and my second one is super goooood xD (One of my club senpais joked about the colors of the cloth used on our maid costumes—during my first year, we’ve managed a Maid Cafe during our annual University Days—being bright and vivid as the colors of the jeepney routes in our province; he called mine the Marisol, after the Marisol-Pampang route—ctto pic)
* Been fascinated with Japan and the Japanese culture since childhood: during Grade 2, I’ve purchased a Highlights Top Secret Japan puzzle set; during Grade 6, my older cousin who now based in Japan with her own family gave me CDs of Hamasaki Ayumi and EXILE, among others.
* Collected anime posters, laminated cards, and stickers during Grade 6 until all my high school years. Dunno where they are now...
* Am picky with what I watch and read, whether it’s anime, manga, or a novel/book/magazine. ‘Cause I have a damn refined taste lol
* I also have multiple fandoms across some of the genres. I’m an Hello! Project fan since 2008 (first oshimen was Morning Musume’s Kusumi Koharu, now it’s the 15th gen’s Kitagawa Rio from Morning Musume ‘20; also a BEYOOOOONDS fan—but I love all of the girls like my younger sisters....even though my real younger sister’s a pain in the arse sometimes), a casual 48G fan since AKB48’s Heavy Rotation hit the Oricon charts—and kinda supported its international sister groups too, like our very own MNL48...but kinda laylowed since late last year. Aside from MNL48, I also supported its similar (but related?) local aidoru counterparts, Aidoru Sozai and CH4U, since 2018. But, ever since that goddamn COVID-19 virus and quarantine started, the need to support the members had gradually lost in my hands (don’t worry tho, I still checked out on their SNS even if not on a daily basis).
* Before, I always listened mostly to idol songs (75% of which are H!P), but when my old phone broke (and we have wifi now) I tuned in daily to Spotify and listened to some of its playlists—to which I select a few songs and gathered them in my own playlist full of J-Tracks and old stuff.
* I’m a huge fan of Takaya Natsuki’s “Fruits Basket”, ever since I have watched the Tagalog-dubbed original/Studio Deen version on TV every Saturday morning during the early 2000’s. Read the almost-150+-ish chapters during my high school and college days, read some of “Fruits Basket ~another~”, and now currently watching the 2019 version. Also have a dog-eared TokyoPop copy of the ~Cat~ fanbook skl.
* Due to the influence of some of my artist collab buddies and a certain redraw challenge (#HaikyuuRedraw), at almost three? months, I’m basically new to the Haikyuu!! Fandom. In less than a month, I’ve watched Seasons 1 until the first half of On The Top!!—including the OVAs, read the full 400+ chapters of the “Haikyuu!!” manga non-stop (because, ‘it’s fast-paced’ as I have told one colleague before), and its spin-offs “Haikyuu-Bu” and “Let’s Haikyuu”, and watched all four compilation movies. (Now rewatching Season 2 btw...) *whispers low* Not to mention countless fanfictions and doujins...... FUN FACT: If you visited my Pinterest page, you’ll be annoyingly (imo) amazed at how many Haikyuu!!-related memes, comic panels, fanarts and stuff I have saved in my two boards. Also made some chibi fanarts (first one being Inarizaki’s Capt. Kita; will post Kenma’s later tonight) and some WIP sketches (one Hinata, one Oikawa—on an UFO, duh—and a Yachi... all of them chibified) that idk when the fuck will I start to work on them again qwq (Whew... my longest paragraph so far, sorry~)
* Created my Facebook art page and began sharing my doodles and drawings to the public since 2017 (more then three years ago), then since early 2018 started doing MNL48 and other local aidoru groups’ fanarts in trad (colored ballpens and colored pencils on cheap bond paper halves). Then early 2020, I started doing anime fanarts as part of a collab for I think half a year now.
* I have been a member of two artists’ collaboration groups on Facebook—MFA48 (specializing in mostly MNL48-related group fanart collabs) and Anime Art Collaboration Group (an exclusive-for-Filipino-artists’ collab group specializing in two-week anime collabs and other art activities, to which I’m a part of its Council as the Fukaichou/Council VP). Also a staff member at a memeposting Facebook page for more than a year now (belated Happy Anniversary to me lol~).
* Did make some padorus, a few memes—including an all-in-one virtual powerbank charger, ‘patent pending’—and stuff.
* WIPs old and new kept on piling up due to many distractions (namely, this phone I’m using rn and its many installed apps) and disturbances (my fam, on the top of the list). And I really hate it qwq hence the frustration and stress...
* A lazy person actually tee hee~ (and a big eater but kinda slim like Miaka from “Fushigi Yuugi”)
...well? Ahehehe~ hope you stick on reading all of these bullshit till the end, tho. Ja~ see y’all again! （＾∇＾）
(Hope it can fit within Tumblr’s character number parameters or something...)
#introductions#jikoshoukai#sorry the post’s too long#morning musume#hello project#beyooooonds#fruits basket#haikyuu#akb48 group#mnl48#aidoru sozai#loveso#ch4u#90s kid#drawing#anime#art#fanart#taking my time tagging here lol#doodleniella#tumblrniella#Spotify
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realized the other say that I dont like thinking abt myself cuz whenever I do all I can do is self deprecate and it's so lame and gross like I wish I could list good things about myself without getting self conscious or sad I wish I could have a sense of self that wasn't built around other people's perceptions of me?? Like its so fucking lame and attention seeking to self deprecate like. whenever I can feel myself doing it I just cringe it's so bad and unhealthy but I think tumblr and some friends I used to hang out with a couple years ago have really? influenced y thinking and like. I don't even "hate myself" it's just become a habit to say that I do and act like I do. I can't like. separate the Meme from the Me u kno??? like I want to like myself and be able to know myself as a good person with inherent worth regardless of the culture we've created on the internet where it's so common and accepted to despise and talk down aspects of yourself and not focus on the good. like that's another part of tumblrs anti recovery mindset, its so widely accepted to be like "lol im trash I'm garbage im terrible lololololol im gross and ugly!! xDD" and I think people take that as being humble or funny but after a while that gets so ingrained in our minds that we can't say good things about ourselves because it's conceited or deviates from the collective persona of people who spend all their time on the internet looking at Depressing Memes and talking shut how much they wanna die?? idk it's really ducked with how I see myself and how i talk about myself.
#actuallydepressed#anti recovery#mi tumblr#actuallymentallyill#recovery#this is ok 2 rb if you want to
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