Fascist filth in Dublin are using the stabbings of 3 kids outside a school to go on a racist riot. These fucking pigs using the blood of children to spread their evil

Twitter continues to go really well

you have to be fucking joking

eat my shit

Bit of a personal post

One of the problems I've had for some time now, since my breakdown in 2018 and made worse by the pandemic, is not being able to properly gauge the passage of time. A recurring theme in my Read More's is that I wake up and 3 months have passed and I've not done anything with them. It's one of the reasons I keep meaning to keep a diary, so I don't lose things in the fog and forget my life, but I can never commit to it. I have a lot of diaries in my house that are mostly blank.

However, I do have a lot of personal text posts that I've written over the years I've had this blog. Inspired by a post about being someone's oldest tumblr mutual, I decided to go through my tags and retag the posts that were like a diary to me.

Going through them has brought back memories, painful and joyful, reminded me of things I'd forgotten, but most of all it's given me a sense of lucidity I haven't had in a long time. I can start order events in my memory again, I understand again the years that have gone by.

Remembering some of the dark places I've been in and the regrets I've had has been a hard day but I also remember the good times I've had, on Tumblr and IRL and that's brought a wave of nostalgia and contentment. I don't deal with nostalgia well but it's been nice going through some of those old interactions with people.

It was sad to see all those usernames I knew and loved that are no longer online or who I never kept in contact with. I'm terrible with establishing and maintaining interactions like that, I wish I was a person who did talk to my mutuals and my followers more.

I'm a naturally awkward person, I always think that people wouldn't want me to talk to them but I'd like to break that shell again and have fun again. I'm also going to make a few more in depth posts every now and again to keep track of my life so in another 10 years I have something to look back at and remind me what I was like during this episode.

And if we have been mutuals for a while, say Hi. I'm terrible at responding but I always appreciate and cherish it

Britain is no longer on a descent towards fascism, it is a fascist country.

The government is openly and proudly committing human rights abuses and pledging to commit more and the state broadcaster is silencing anyone who even mildly criticises the government line

And our opposition? Our brave representatives in the Labour Party? They’re not only pathetically following the government, they’ve purged themselves of anyone with any human decency. They’re Franz von Papen

This country deserves to burn

I feel sick with fear and helplessness

I slept in late and missed the coronation (nothing to do with the fact I stayed up late drinking last night deliberately)

I did see the clip of the archbishop trying not to give charlie a hangman’s fracture was amusing but a load of boring shite otherwise

the *bonk* go to horny jail meme except the doge is the New York district attorney and the cheems is the 45th President of the United States

I don't know where I am, when I am or who I am. All I know is I'm scared and want to cry

After weeks of nothing, I’ve suddenly had a load of spambots follow me in the last few days

Would it be alright to ask how its been off sertraline? I've found it gives me vivid nightmares

Of course! I will be honest, my memories of the last year are not very complete due to stress but I'll do my best.

Vivid dreams are a side effect of any antidepressant but mine weren't as bad on Sertraline as they have been with other medications, in particular Venlafaxine/Effexor. With that I was having very intense dreams that would leave me tired and anxious when I woke up. On Citalopram I'd also get dreams that weren't as vivid or realistic as Venlafaxine but were more psychological - I would dream that my Dad was still alive which was confusing and painful when I woke up

My experience of Sertraline isn't the best to get and idea of it's effectiveness: I wasn't on a very high dose but I felt like it was slowing me down and not doing anything for my anxiety. In fact, when I went unmedicated for 6 weeks I didn't feel too much of difference; I did stop having the dreams. I'm now on Escitalopram which does give me slightly more vivid dreams but nowhere near the likes of other medication,

My advice is to talk to your doctor and try something else. The nightmares can make you feel a lot worse which negates the point of taking the medication. Everyone reacts differently to meds and so you do need to test a few until you find one that's suitable; one whose side-effects are manageable and helps you overall.

I can’t believe that the Paddington films and merch is being used to memorialise the queen based on a fucking 3 minute sketch, especially when the James Bond sketch they did for the 2012 Olympics where she parachuted into the stadium was clearly better.

And to celebrate that they should push her coffin out of a helicopter into the Thames

another prediction for 2023: graham linehan dies during a stranglewank

I've been off Sertraline for 4 weeks now and this longest I've been unmedicated since 2014.

Honestly I feel better than I did on Sertraline; today I cooked twice, washed, did 6 hours of work (don't tell my work, I'm gonna still put 8 on my timesheet), hoovered and cycled to the shops. For the last two years I'd be lucky if I did all that in a single month.

I had really high hopes for Venlafaxine but I felt drawn out and had a lot of nightmares on that and Sertraline basically removed all energy and motivation.

I don't know what path I should take from here. I have a lot of energy at the moment and I'm bouncing all over the place but I know this could lead to burnout again quite quickly. Ideally I'd like to see the ADHD service but It's been 18 months since I was referred and I've heard jack shit from them

I hope someone has shown the Gandalf Big Naturals memes to Ian Mckellen. I feel like he would appreciate them

Friendship ended with Venlafaxine

Now Sertraline is my best friend