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workofheart · 3 years

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eren jaeger relationship hcs

eren’s turn! modern relationship hcs. nsfw under the cut as per usual <3 levi ver.

really clingy. when ur away on a trip or something, he definitely cuddles your pillow and buries his head in it. might also spray your perfume on his hoodie so he can be reminded of you throughout the day (as if you aren’t already on his mind 24/7)

on that note, LOVES seeing you in his clothing. i feel like for most guys this is true and people mention it all the time, but eren especially. it makes him feel mushy and horny at the same time (more on that later) bc it just drapes over your shoulders perfectly. like he sees you and has to suck in a breath and look away to collect himself or else he’ll just become a puddle on the floor

likes hearing verbal affirmations. when you compliment him, tell him you’re proud of him, he gets all warm and fuzzy inside. it means so much coming from you and he knows you're genuine

really goofy, this is to be expected - tries to get you to laugh bc it raises his self esteem and confidence. he just likes looking at you being happy and smiling, it makes him feel so warm inside

definitely hides behind corners when he hears you walking or coming down the stairs so he can jump out and scare you. don’t worry though, because he always proceeds to hug you and kiss your forehead or temple to say he’s sorry but only kind of bc ur reaction was priceless. the little whack u give his arm in annoyance? he lovessss it bc it’s like he knows u still love him even when he is a little obnoxious

eren is definitely one of those enemies to lovers kind of guy bc he desperately wants someone to love him not necessarily in spite of his flaws, but with his flaws. he needs u to acknowledge that he’s far from a perfect person but still love him regardless

his favorite kind of dates are park dates. he likes going on warm & sunny days to throw a frisbee around with you in the open fields. i feel like he’s a basketball guy so he’ll bring you onto the court and play knockout... when he loses, will tell you he let you win on purpose for the sake of his ego

lolll imagine him critiquing your free throw form or something and coming up behind you to fix it (it wasn’t actually that bad, he just wanted an excuse to be near you)

really needs physical touch. he’s the kind of guy who will always be in contact w you in some way or another. when driving, his hand will be on your thigh or holding yours on top of the center console, same for if you’re out at restaurants but under the table. he’d definitely try and play footsies with you if you’re sitting across from him rather than beside him. when sleeping, he holds you really tight and won’t let you roll over so you better just get comfortable.

doesn’t mind being ur photographer and taking pics for you. he takes some time to learn the methods for the best pics but he eventually gets it

this is kind of random but when playing minecraft, he always blows up creepers and never fills in the creeper holes :| sorry. to make up for it he’ll get you music discs. also likes just going on little adventures to find a sand biome two thousand blocks away and just walking with you in game

on this topic actually i LOVE the idea of gamer bf eren. like not the league-and-monster-drinking kind but sumn about him in a headset and sitting at the edge of his bed... but he’ll definitely teach you how to play shooter games and will be so nice about it, won’t get mad at you, will give you little kisses when you’re not doing well and getting frustrated, and if you’re playing in online lobbies together he’ll stick by you the whole time and carry you

always sending you tiktoks & tries to get you to do all the trends with him. they never go viral but he goes back and watches them when he misses you

i peg him as a cat guy! really good with animals in general. i think most people would expect him to be a dog person since he can be loud and rowdy and excited, but on an emotional level i think he also just likes to be calm and relaxed and would get along with cats well. also teases you when animals reject you for him.

definitely writes about you in his journal. he jots down funny things you say or do or moments you shared so he never forgets any of them, and when he misses you he’ll read through them :( imagine when you’re so much older and he has documented proof of his love for you back when he was young please it makes me cry

also writes down little poetic words or things that remind him of you. he’ll hear a quote in a movie or a book or a song that instantly makes you pop into his head and he just has to write it down. he’s probably tried writing poems or songs about you, but he keeps those really secret because he’s embarrassed

this is kind of random but i think he’s a total beach person! likes going to spend days in the sun, builds sand castles and asks for your rating, drags you into the water to swim with him, will dive under and grab your ankles to freak you out, also looks really good in swim trunks but that's besides the point

he hates to see you upset and tries to cuddle the sadness out of you. when needs be, he’s a really good listener and doesn’t mind letting you just vent. when you cry, he pulls you in for a really tight hug and cradles your head - also because if he sees you crying, he’ll start to cry too because he genuinely feels for you

tries his best to take care of you when you’re sick. not really a good cook or anything, but he’ll make you a grilled cheese or a pop tart, albeit a little crispy even though it’s his third attempt. doesn’t mind being near you and isn’t afraid of getting sick so he’ll cuddle you anyway

loses focus when you’re talking to him sometimes but it’s not because he’s not listening, it’s because he just gets caught up in staring at you and how you look when you talk bc he just adores you. when you snap him out of his, he always gets all red and blushy :(

nsfw under the cut (18+)

really likes sending & receiving nudes/lewds. he always goes for the torso selfie to show off his chest/abs when sending, and it doesn’t matter to him what you send back because he’ll like anything you have to offer

and his responses aren’t lame either. NOT the type to send you a thumbs up or a “ayo you sexy as hell fr doe” - he will hype you up with dirty talk because he seriously means it. honestly might just send you a voice message, or call you if you’re alone and available bc while he might look at pics of you from time to time for aesthetics, the majority of the time he’s jacking off

so you know how i said he likes seeing you in his clothing? he especially likes nudes of you in his clothes. send him a pic wearing his zip up hoodie & nothing else and he’s yours

he prefers being in control/being on top but doesn’t mind if you want to take the reigns every once in a while

throws his head back and groans when u give him head. that's the image.

one of his favorite positions is when you’re in doggy but he pulls you up by the arms so your back is against his chest. he’ll snake a hand around to rub tight little circles on your clit, might put his hand around your throat if you like it. heavenly.

reallyyyy dirty mouth omg. asks sooo many teasing questions, likes hearing you say his name. “you like that, princess?” “louder for me” “who’s making you feel this good?” ugh and it’s not awkward either he makes it sound so good

has a lot of energy and a lot of stamina. stroke game will make you pass out, he’s so smooth and sets such a rhythm with his hips

things that get him going: kissing under his jaw, especially up by his ear. sucking his fingers. tugging on his hair. running your nails down his back.

pins your thighs to the bed when he eats you out. likes to make you squirm and loooves to edge you. super teasing in every way

can we just talk about his voice for a sec... he has the prettiest moans and isn’t afraid to let you know how he’s feeling. when you’re in missionary, he’ll hold himself up with one elbow, hold your hand with the other, and will lean down to moan right in your ear. sometimes does it on purpose bc he knows it turns you on from how you clench around him

usually has a death grip on that sensitive spot between your hips and your waist so he has something to hold on to while he pounds you

when he cums, he 100% buries his face in the crook of your neck, might even bite down from time to time

can totally see him going harder if he knows there’s people around, he doesn’t care who it is that’s outside the door but they’re gonna hear how good he’s making you feel whether you like it or not

wants to see your face when you cum. will definitely tell you to cum for him and keep your eyes open when he’s really feeling it - your expression makes him nut so fucking hard lawwddd

daps u up after sex just cause he’s weird like that lol

#eren jaeger x reader #aot x reader #snk x reader #eren jaeger fluff #eren jaeger smut #eren jaeger headcanons #eren jaeger hcs #eren jaeger imagines #aot imagines #snk imagines #aot headcanons #eren hcs #eren headcanons #eren fluff #eren smut

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pepperful-qt · 4 years

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Hi there! Can I request hcs of kuroo, kita and semi with a big brain s/o? It doesn't just apply to s/o academically, but more so about life in general (like having ~streetsmarts~) thank you!

you said street smarts my mind went to jj bittenbinder. ngl i kinda used the wisdom proficiencies from d&d as reference for this hahaha nerd i hope it’s what you want! also i just want to thank you for requesting my not-so-secret fav semi semi

Kuroo, Kita, & Semi with a big brain s/o

* * * * *

Kuroo Tetsuro

oh this man appreciates it. he’s so entertained

you know that drinking game that Tyrion does with Shae where he guesses something about your past and if he’s right you have to drink, if not he does? that’s what you do minus the drinking part obv,, unless

as a person with high charisma himself, you make it a game to see who can bluff out and/or fool the other (you almost always win)

any time there’s a game night and you’re playing a social deception game you always win. no one can get a lie past you

if it’s a teamwork one, you and Kuroo crush everyone else

you find ways to skimp on your hw but still come out fine. he has no idea how, and it both annoys and impresses him

“i thought you stayed up watching buzzfeed unsolved instead of studying last night??”

“yeah so what?”

“but you got a 96%”

he knows that intelligence isn’t just defined by what you’re able to memorize out of a book, and you’re a perfect example of that. he respects you a lot

you’re the type of person that reads random articles and therefore has the most random bits of trivia that you throw in conversation

he can have an intellectual conversation with you, since you always come up with unique perspectives. he loves asking your opinion on things, bc who tf knows what’ll come out of your mouth

you don’t know what a derivative is to save your life but you know the location of every 7/11 in a ten mile radius, and if they carry a specific type of onigiri or cup noodle flavor

but fr you give the best advice and are always there to lend an ear

you watch murder mystery movies together and try to figure out the culprit, sometimes actually arguing over it

other times you’ll watch a drama and make bets on who’s gonna do what or end up with who

rip Kenma in the corner just trying to live his life

it’s hilarious seeing you interact with someone who is not “big brain” or street smart

let’s just use Lev as an example for no particular reason, just bc

you quickly learned that Lev would believe almost anything you said, he was that fascinated by your apparent wisdom

so you and Kuroo will sometimes join forces and see what you can get him to believe. you once convinced him that if you kill an insect you’d become that insect in your next life and die the same way, and for a solid month he would start crying if he ever stepped on an ant

chaos couple™

you have this whole atmosphere about you that is just “do not fuck with me” bamf if i do say so myself

which tbh is one of the things he finds most attractive about you. you knew exactly what he was up to the first time he started flirting with you, but you weren’t intimidated one bit. you became a challenge~

10/10 best looking couple of the three

* * *

Kita Shinsuke

the two voices of reason, bless you both. you’re very similar, but also very different

he’s the definition of high intelligence & high wisdom with low charisma cleric kita omg, while you have both high wisdom and high charisma with an intelligence stat you barely use (high or low lol)

he’s the kind of guy who always thinks things through with logic, and he’s always sure of his decisions

you on the other hand, have an intuition based logic

freaks him out when you rely on your gut instinct but somehow it always pays off

“why?”

“just because”

“but why??”

you’re adaptable in almost every situation, always know what to say, and have an uncanny ability to read people

which actually comes in handy in your relationship

he’s not the best at expressing himself but you always seem to know his emotional state and thought process, something no one else except his granny has really cracked yet and you do it so easily. sometimes he wonders if you’re a mind reader

you knew he liked you before he did & you asked him out first ~

“Shin-kun, you look happy today!”

“Ah, I was able to clean all the volleyballs after practice and still had time to fold and organize the scrimmige vests by color.”

meanwhile Atsumu: “hE litERALLY?? looks the sAME??!”

speaking of the twins, you’re great at handling them

Atsumu tried to scare you away the first time you showed up at practice before you and Kita announced your relationship, but you were calm and polite

which tbh put him off more than if you’d clammed up or gotten angry. he almost felt bad for being rude. almost.

imagine how bad he felt when Kita found out

the both of you are both feared and respected by the team

you’ll help Kita out with his self-assigned chores sometimes, figuring out new ways to be efficient and not lose quality

he also loves how he can trust you to take care of yourself, whether it’s walking home alone or losing you in a crowd or just looking after your health. he still worries and dotes on you but it’s out of love, not because he’s concerned you’ll hurt yourself unintentionally

he loves a person with common sense @ inarizaki

you’re both really good at getting gifts for each other, since you’re both very perceptive

one time you guessed his favorite flavor of ice cream and it made the butterflies a’flutter

there’s this silent competition between you two of who can give the better gifts

wishes you would study more though ngl. he knows you’re smart you just don’t always dedicate that intelligence to your schoolwork

he finds it charming how you’re always looking at things from different angles rather than the straightforward path. he thinks it’s a very good quality

that “yeah but what if...” kind of mentality

we already know he appreciates that attitude if he doesn’t really take it on himself

you’re both able to appreciate the nuances of life and enjoy the moment together

your relationship is one of the most balanced and strong out there tbh,,

* * *

Semi Eita

you’ve got this charm that makes people respect you. a certain type of confidence, if you will, that made him first notice you

lots of students were intimidated by the members of the volleyball team, for their height and reputation etc, but you never showed any reservation, not even with Ushijima

as well as your conviction, you have take no shit attitude that comes in great handy with certain members of the team it’s also hot af

you can banter with Tendou and you provoke Goshiki all day long but never Shirabu bc you know what’s up

you do however irritate him with mind games, bc you know he’s a little shit who stole your bf’s spot and needs to be taken down a peg sometimes

you: *describing the quantum wave trolley problem”

Shirabu: *screams*

all the while Semi is trying and failing to hide the smug little smirk on his face

with Semi though, you’re able to just talk

he enjoys conversation with you bc he’s never bored. you make him think and you make him laugh, both good things

sometimes you’ll point something out that just makes him go “oh” bc it seems so obvious when you point it out

other times it’s something so outlandish that he can’t help but crack a smile or let out a laugh

sometimes it’s the connect the dots meme “you didn’t connect shit” lmao

again, solid advice giver with no holds barred. anyone who needs to be straight up told what they need to hear comes to you, bc you're usually right

and Semi himself can get lost in his own head so it's nice to have you to ground him

you’re decent in your classes sure, but where you really impress is your strategy in game. any game

once you were invited to play laser tag with the team and you whipped out a battle plan that annihilated the other team

alternatively, you show no mercy in monopoly or uno, damn your relationships

it’s actually very annoying how quickly you pick up the rules and nuances to games and use them to your advantage

if you’re both very competitive, it’s usually better for everyone if you’re both on the same team

but he likes a challenge heh

okay, we know he’s bad at dressing himself when it comes to casual outfits. no common sense. you notice this too

“Eita, sweetie, if you go out like that you will get mugged,, even in Miyagi.”

you’ll walk down the street hand in hand and you make random guesses or stories about the people you see

“that guy is totally a scammer” or “bet that lady looking at the papaya is trying to start a diet for the third time, look at her face” and he’ll chuckle

he knows there’s always something going on inside your mind and he wants to know

when you’re lost in thought he’ll tap your forehead

“hey what’s going on in there?”

he enjoys listening to your musings and thoughts and opinions. you either have a crazy gut instinct or have some unique thought you’ve internally debated over for months

gets inspiration from you actually, even if he doesn’t realize it

likewise, you realize he has a lot on his mind he doesn’t say, but you have a way of making him say it, even if he is hesitant and abrasive at first

you’ll call him at 3am with a random thought and he’ll grumble a bit but actually will listen to you with the smallest smile on his face

* * * * *

i hope??? this was good??? also lmk if this is too long without a read more i’m not sure :P

#kuroo tetsuro #kita shinsuke #semi eita #kuroo tetsuro x reader #kita shinsuke x reader #semi eita x reader #haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #kuroo x reader #kita x reader #semi x reader #haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu writing #haikyuu imagine #haikyuu headcanons #the way i got so excited seeing my boy semi on here #don't look up the quantum wave trolley problem unless you want your brain fried

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konietzko-sylvoran · 3 years

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Let the Memory Live Again

"But here? Here is where I decided this year's tradition simply had to happen." Talthorn had taken Konietzko to the highest most peak of Highmountain, a place he’d seen time to time in his life but had never climbed nor flown too before in truth. And yet as they stood there now he couldn’t help but stand there and stare in complete awe. The chill of the winds this high up was almost as cold as the Northwind winds... almost. But the skyline and the stars that he gazed at all around them had truly taken his breath away. Never had he seen such vibrant colors this high up, the stars all just seemed to shine brighter than he’d ever seen them before.

"Now, this a personal tradition and this one just happens to fall around this particular season. I admit I have not been able to do it every year due to unexpected happenings, but! I do always make a conscious effort that if I am capable to do this. I shall. You're the only person I've ever wanted to share this with. For a multitude of different reasons."

"It's... beautiful. Breathtaking even. I've never seen the sky quite like this." he admitted to him as he was pressed to look away and over to his lover at his side. "What, is your tradition?" He asked him curiously. "I'm honored that you wish to share it with me."

The magi would go to put down his pack and unearth some specially made lanterns of his own making. They did have a glimmer of magic about them most certainly, but the way that the stars and moons were painted with a certain skilled hand, it was clear they were specially made for this small event. One was a blue color, another of pink color. He would happily hand one up to his beloved, the blue one with the starflower preserved on the side. On the other, aethril was painted much the same. "Well tonight is going to commemorate life. A very special life." he smiled hoping that he didn't shock Kon with that information. He was the only one that knew, and it truly was a time to celebrate something that changed his life forever. "Will you help me do such, my heart?" He would not blindly assume, but it was something he knew Kon could appreciate in his presentation. And appreciate it he did. In fact, he looked deeply touched as he loved the symbology of everything he and Talthorn shared and the fact that he put these little elements into it made it all the more special to the venatic. But when he said that this was to commemorate life his eyes instantly raised to look to Talthorn then with a very knowing look. He knew exactly who he was talking about, his gaze took on that touched look that also held an edge of sadness to it as he studied Talthorn's eyes very closely. "I would be honored to celebrate with you and to pay my respects as I hoped I might get too one day."

Talthorn knew Konietzko would be looking over for maybe for his sorrow, or his pain but there would be none to find this night. Rather he had deluded himself so deeply that this just was such a happy thing because of his promise, or if he adopted this idea fully as part of his life it could not really be seen. The magi believed right now, with all he was that this was a beautiful time and there was nothing that could change that for him. "Wonderful! So...let's start at the top. With this! This is truly a landmark of grand proportions. Giving inspiration to want to reach the most high of places." he gestures to the landmark with the hanging scroll and reads it. "In honor of those who ascend to unimaginable heights. May your spirits continue through the dreams of others who follow..." Talthorn casts a nod and hold out a wand like item. He takes a moment to mutter a word and it sparks of a magical fire. "We will light our beacons to symbolize our souls this night..." he would move to light the bottom of his, and hand it over to Konietzko slowly to take and light his own.

As Konietzko took it and began to light his own, he would repeat the very words Talthorn had spoken in honor of who this was truly about. His actions made Talthorn hold his breath as he looked to him. "We'll do this all in spirit, together...." Talthorn spoke gently and weaved his magic out in front. An illusioned image of a young boy would conjured up with his lantern in his hand, looking bright eyed to the sky with wonder and happiness. He would turn to them both as if he could see them both, smiling with warmth that was not at all just a vision. This....happened. Sometime Kon could not be sure, but that image was Ka'ness motioning when he was well.

This was the first time that Konietzko had ever seen the boy he’d been told so much about, and while it was merely an illusion of a memory that Talthorn held dear it was almost as dear to him that he would share it at all here and now and touched him deep within his chest. "Tether not the soul to this mortal realm with this offering, but have it be a brilliant light of memory to soar with and bring joy to that which still lives here. Let it dance as our hearts do this day, in remembrance of you." The magi would look over to his beloved and motion up slowly to have the lantern move up into the air without letting go to get him to follow along and he did. Talthorn would then move to push his moon and star lantern up so it could float upward, kissed with a little bit of arcane to help it not lose course. Reaching out for Talthorn’s hand in his, together they’d watch the lanterns rise even the one of Ka’ness and his own imagined lantern. But as his rose up into the sky, it dissolved into beautiful stars. The actual lanterns would begin to revolve around each other, as if locked in a gentle dance. Holding at the hand offered gently at first, it was then squeezed tighter. ".....and now...." he said in a melodic whisper. "It's our turn. To dance in that sky."

Before Kon knew it, Talthorn was pulling out and assembling a glider! The sails on it unfolding out before them as he assembled it with his magic words, the perks of being with a magi of course. He realized now what he meant by dancing in this sky as butterflies filled his stomach at the prospect of this. He didn’t know why, he’d flown many times in his life but this was just different, something... more! As he stepped forward to take position next to Talthorn and hold onto the glider’s bars with him, he’d see the magi produce a magic orb that was playing music just for this occasion! As always, when Talthorn wished to make an impression and impress someone he loved he held nothing back, and this was one of the reasons why he had grown to love him as much as he did. Every moment with him was an adventure, as much as it was a performance. While it was a bit too much for most everyone that knew him, it was anything but that for Konietzko who lived to embrace this extravagant side of the magi who took his breath away in such passionate moments like this!

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As the music played, they both ran off the edge together as they made their giant leap side by side!

Memory, all alone in the moonlight I can smile at the old days I was beautiful then I remember the time I knew what happiness was Let the memory live again

Daylight I must wait for the sunrise I must think of a new life And I mustn''t give in

When the dawn comes Tonight will be a memory too And a new day will begin

Memory, all alone in the moonlight I can smile at the old days I was beautiful then

As their flight came to an end and they touched down, both elves were entirely breathless from the experience itself and filled with laughter. Yet as they settled in to enjoy the end of their night together, a touching moment was shared in further remembrance of Ka’ness. In his own way, Kon helped Talthorn navigate his feelings and tried to teach him that it was alright to feel, to cry and to miss someone dearly while reliving the memory of days spent with them. After tears, smiles and some feelings were expressed yet another moment that was soon to be written in the stars as the elves made their stage to tread another measure in time together.

"I...think we need to get back to embracing this life a bit more hm..." Talthorn found his grin coming over his face. "Dance with here?" A soft call back to the orb was made as he whispered a song into it and looked to Koniezko. Just as Talthorn explained, their night was truly meant to be wrapped in song it seemed and yet neither of the star crossed lovers would discourage these events in the slightest. As Talthorn started to set up his stage on their blanket he pulled Kon to rise with him as he informed him something special. "I've got one more to share with you. I found it when we were first allowing ourselves to feel for each other, and sharing more. Indulge me? Let me dedicate another little piece of my ever burning heart for you." With smiles and laughter from both, they took their positions as the music began and both began to slowly sway wrapped in each others arms as the music started with a catchy beat! But then to Konietzko’s surprise this wasn’t just a dance but... a performance!

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Talthorn would beam happily and pull the other in close, the music would swirl around them as the orb moved to give them a beat. "Save my soul tonight, you could be my hope, my heart, my light...." he winked and moved a little with his beloved. "So let's not fear the fight. Things go wrong but we can get it right." the magi hugged at Kon's waist and continued to fill his ears with warm melody. "So I'll reach out to you. Take my hand and I will hold yours too. Pain will come it's true! Don't give��up and we will make it through." There was a bit of breath that held in as the song picked up and the words become more filled with feeling! He adored this verse! "But when we look back and we see who are. And don't like what we find...can we still keep on trying? And fast will we run!" his hand flared a moment before coming back in to hold at the other's."... though the end feels so far. But brave be my soul...While the daylight is dying!"

With a happy smile and a little bit of a laugh from Kon’s heart's joy he stepped in close and started to move with Talthorn's lead. The fact he was singing to him while this occurred meant even more to him! Hearing Talthorn sing his heart out like that truly stole his breath as he swung about and returned back to him in their sway feeling the beat easily!

The magi continued to enjoy this song really getting into it with such an easy way to express himself now with no fear in how the other might feel on these words. "Wouldn't it be better if we hold on. Though everybody's gone. If we go down, we'll go down singing. And swinging to the ground. Wouldn't it be better if we hold on. Though everybody's gone. If we go down, we'll go down singing. And swinging to the ground." he made a few punching motions lightly down to the ground. As the next verse came he looked in Konietzko's eyes. "And when you learn to fly. Tell me how it feels to touch the sky. Then we'll travel back in time. And tell ourselves that everything is fiiiiiine." he sang this one with such warmth! "But when we look back and we see who are. And don't like what we find...can we still keep on trying? And fast will we run though the end feels so far. But brave be my soul. While the daylight is dying~"

The lyrics to the song were like it was written by Talthorn himself, but that was the beauty in music. It was always there to help one express what they felt in ways that a good dance and heartfelt cry into the sky could always fix. Kon laughed as he punched at the ground with him and then met his eyes once more as the lyrics he sang to him touched his heart and soul in ways Kon still could not believe but here it was happening all over again! His heartbeat pulsing so strong and true.

"Wouldn't it be better if we hold on. Though everybody's gone. If we go down, we'll go down singing. And swinging to the ground. Wouldn't it be better if we hold on. Though everybody's gone. If we go down, we'll go down singing. And swinging to the ground. Whoa oh oh oh oh." There was a sparkle in his eyes as he continued to dance and sing unable to hide even more emotion. "When your load increases. Fall into pieces. It’s alright I will hold you until it ceases." his head moved and then he began his heartfelt chant that he believed in here, so very much. "No pain no feeling. No hurt, no healing." he shook his finger to show he could appreciate this sort of sentiment. "If there are limits then we will break that ceiling. When your load increases. Fall into pieces. It’s alright I will hold you until it ceases. No pain no feeling. No hurt, no healing. If there are limits then we will break that ceiling."

Konietzko was getting more and more and more into this song as it went on. His heart danced with such joy hearing how Talthorn sang to him! For the two of them to go down singing! Breaking through the ceiling and holding on! He couldn't hold it in anymore as the chorus repeated he reached out to his hips to take ahold of them and tried to get him to dance with him even more! Twirling away and then back at him as he started to pick up on the chorus near the end chanting out the. 'O-oh-oh oh!" 's with him!

Talthorn would let that note float and full in feeling adoring the other singing with him! By the Moon it felt so good! The orb seemed to take that verse the magi was singing and for his love, he goes a bit off the cuff in letting his voice play with more notes and heartfelt parts of the song while he takes time to be dramatic and dance with Kon! "We'll go dooown. We'll go dooown." The notes would go in their octaves and then fade to ending.

As Talthorn truly sang his heart out there in the end Konietzko grabbed his hands tightly and pressed his body in against his as he gave one last slowed sway before bringing his lips in to press against his. He would then suddenly and quickly reach down to grab Talthorn by his hips and would attempt to raise him up just a little into the air as he would give them both one last twirl as he laughed and then drew him down to the ground and tightly into his arms. "-You ARE- my heart, my hope, my light in every way. And you are an -amazing- singer Talthorn! Oh my stars you should have seen yourself, heard yourself! It is -I- who needs to ask you how it feels to touch the sky! You are already there in every way." Look who was babbling now! Oh my it was contagious as they both spent the rest of the night lost in this measure of time together.

A @konietzko-lumenstone and @talthorn-sylvoran story and moment in time retold for our own memories to enjoy ♥

#Talthorn and Kon #Treading a Measure #Song and Dance #Go Down Singing #Memories #Memory #Performance #ka'ness #flight #fly #Stars #Stargazing

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k-l-a-n-c-e-a-c-a-d-e-m-y · 4 years

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okay whatever 🍓 go crazy

“Go crazy” don’t mind if I go stupid as well 😈.. JAMESSSSS FUXKING GLOMPS U ... kisses u on the lips and headbutts u so hard:::: jamejamejnsmwjsmns...... so ofc I have to start off by saying I love you bc u said it to me and I’m going to say that u said it first 🥺 jamelta fans how do we feel knowing James fell in love first 😈😈 OKAY OKAY BUT FR... u know I love you so totally and completely and we really are best friends... u are the perfect combo of everything I love and I’m the perfect everything so it’s why we vibe so hard.... but ok we are soulmates actually and I think I’m destined to annoy you for the rest of time.... I don’t rlly know how we like met met? Like i know YOUVE been mutuals with NEFF for a long time (samflam rights!) and the earliest interaction I remember is you making that “we irritating” nyarustones meme that made me lose my mind like that’s when I was like “omg he’s a funny guy....” I genuinely love and hate how funny you are like ... ur FUNNY.... the DTC?? Literally had me crying and when u made that server abt me?? I was on the FLOOR I cannot believe u rounded up all my mutuals and was just like “hey guys 😈” and like tht whole hour of us just being in the server for the first time I don’t think I’ve ever laughed that hard.... omg omg one of my fav things to do EVER is like bond with u.... like when we bonded over hating the twin AU ... or liking mangoes....... like idk idk I like making u happy ;-; like making u happy (and also Jonah) is legit my prime driving force for reading ALL of Naruto cause I love like seeing what u have to say in response to me losing my mind over it like.. Man U live like this..? I also love how like our interactions are infamous where like ur mutuals I’ve never spoken to know me... like that power:... wow.... and eventually ur mutuals become mine and so like bc of u I’m making more friends and 🥺🥺 holds ur hand so hard on my Lilypad..... ur also very very smart like way smarter than me and I know that’s not saying a lot but ur incredibly intelligent and I love like how u comprehend media like I have no idea STULL what A.A. is abt or dgs but I still look forward to reading ur posts on it bc ur one of the only people I trust on this site.... omg omg also I’m 99.9% sure u were the forst person I turned post notifs on bc yeah I HAD to know whenever u posted abt me (duh I love delta posts 🙄) but also I’m just looking forward to anything u have to say.... I value ur opinion highly ... *closes my eyes and looks away so fast* also I think ur the first person that turned post notifs on for me/.: I do appreciate that u like ALL my posts bc I’m comforted that like no matter what u HEAR ME... wven if it’s just me meowing for attention again.... but yes yes that one time we were all in a VC was so fun and we ahould rlly do it again... I wanna get us all together and play AU or like things like that bc ur so fun to be around grrrrr .... I’ve been diagnosed with love James disease and my symptoms are showing so mf bad!!!! Like I always like joke and stuff abt asking for kisses and stuff but I want u to know I value you and ur time so much;;;; we are best friends!!! And yes my fam also know abt u (they esp know that ur the one making me read Naruto) esp my like IRL friend ... she thinks we’re crazy obsessed with each other and yeah maybe we are keep scrolling 😑 also I have a tag for u that I sometimes go thru just when I need a smile >u< u like esp helped me come outta my shell on here so to speak... like I’ve been here since like 2012?? And I rarely if ever interacted with my mutuals... but like you and me we basically “talk” everyday and so like BASICALLY.... u gave me the confidence to be sooooo annoying on main 😈 like now? I reply to like all of my mutuals posts even when it’s smth like “I saw a dog today” I’m like MUST ACKNOWLEDGE..... and ur like the same way so we like have that together yanno.... also my fav thing to do ever is annoy u it’s so fun..... every time I act out... it’s for u personally ❤️❤️ I ALSO THINK ITS SO FUNNY THAT UR LITERALLY LIKE A TSUNDERE ITS SOOO

#JAMES.#long post #JAMELTA #I forgot. abt TAGS. 😈#OKAY BUT JAMES UR RIGHT U HAVE ADHD SO I WILL KEEO TAGS SHORT #IF THIS MADE U FEEL WHAT I FELT READING UR LETTER THAN MISSION ACCOMPLISHED #I’m sure ur gonna feel all the love I have for u from these few words #ALSO!! I don’t think I formally said but ur letter means the world to me #and I haven’t stopped thinking abt it forever I think #LIKE IK U LOVE ME BUT TO HAVE IT LIKE IN WRITKNG GRRRRR #MAKES ME GO CRQZY GO STUPID!!#it for SURE made me cry and I got emotional writing all this for u #LIKE IM SO FULL OF LOVE AND STARTS BAEKKNG #BARKRKMRM #I’m sure most of this is like incoherent rambling BUT I think you’ll be able to like comprehend most of it #I’m def all over the place...:#answered #BUT KISSES!!! idk how many times I said it but IM KISISNG U SO HARD..#also tomorrow is my Naruto reading day after my math test that’s my plans for the rest of the day..#ANYWAYSSS U LOVE ME!!!! very much may I add 😏#also u think I’m the most valid person ever soo.....#also no matter what we say we both know we’re obsessed with each other but we’re funny abt it so it’s okay #also we should dm more I love talking to u eheheh... oh also I’m discoed too....#we should get together and like watch anime or smth together idk....#I think.... now u get what I was saying when my friends had to limit me when it came to yearbooks....#imagine all this but in writkng in a yearbook....#yes I’m crazy but I’m free.....#omg also remember when I had that breakdown abt my mom being dumb #u like joking with me but also like actually being there helped me sm .....#Ur like a really good friend .... and I love u dearly.... and I want us to like be BFFL as cringe as that is....

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writeiolite · 4 years

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🧸 - i have to retake my diploma in a different uni (bc of financial problems) which sucks yk bc all my previous efforts have gone down the drain. i hate my major and it’s really draining studying for something u have no interest in. i haven’t been able to make friends either. the workload is too much so i cried off cam bc i have to endure this for another 3 years :( but college is a privilege ig so i should be grateful.

i just wanna have a break to read manga and play games, to have time for myself n be free from all this

(btw ily this is a rly cute thing ure doing. wish i had someone like u irl)

!!! omg anon holy fuck you’re incredible. i hope you never ever EVER forget that. we all have to do things we don’t like sometimes but to do it for 3 years and be so avidly immersed in it like school demands is rly rly tough, so im amazed that u dedicated to it. you can be upset and still be grateful — being grateful doesn’t compromise the rest of ur humanity!! ur efforts aren’t wasted either! yeah, they may not be used in the way u envisioned and that’s hard in itself, but ik u got rly valuable lessons and skills out of it that u can apply to ur current situation and the rest of ur life too! lots of experiences learned to give perspective and stuff like that. stuff may be dark and that’s fine, but it’s gonna get better. facing disappointments, hardships, pain, etc isn’t easy so be proud of yourself for doing that and making through each day, each class, etc. write little notes in ur phone of what u did each day and when u look back at the end of the week u can see how much u accomplished and attempted even if u didn't finish smth. every little step is smth to pat urself on the back for.

ur gonna find friends too! i’ll be ur friend 🥺we can play games when u have a small break and then get back to work at the same time — it’s a little easier to push through the sour stuff when u know there’s someone else doing smth similar waiting to come out the other side with you. and even if it’s not me, there is definitely someone in your life or soon to be in ur life that will be that person ^^ ik that can sound like i’m talking out of my ass, but life changes so abruptly and so subtly sometimes. if bad things can happen, good things can too.

indulge in some small things. curl up in a warm blanket, eat a mandarin, play your favorite songs and dance, reward yourself often because majoring in a topic you’re not interested in is so fucking hard — i’ve been there and so have other ppl so ur not alone!! if u can’t get out of it, then it’s easy to feel trapped and let that drag u down too, but don’t forget that u can lose a battle and win the war. u can break down and decompress and bounce back whenever ur ready, and myself and others will be there for it all ♡

i fr wish i could squish ur cheeks n then make u smile :< i won’t lie, this made me cry bc i relate so much ASGJASJG so frfr im here for u. i wish i had the answers to make it all better but im here to help as much as possible n ur always free to come here and let it out as much as you want.

(and pls aksjhgkjsh if i could be there for u irl i would in a heartbeat — im sincerely happy to let anyone unload as much as they need here!!! it’s the least i could do for now until i come up with another way to help ♡ ♡ ♡)

#check-in with io #anon #inquire iolite

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johannesviii · 4 years

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Top 10 Personal Favorite Hit Songs from 1991

Weirdly enough, even if I was only 3 years old, there is one (1) song on this list which is there purely because of nostalgia, so.... yep, this is where the nostalgia bias actually starts, believe it or not.

Disclaimers:

Keep in mind I’m using both the year-end top 100 lists from the US and from France while making these top 10 things. There’s songs in English that charted in my country way higher than they did in their home countries, or even earlier or later, so that might get surprising at times.

Of course there will be stuff in French. We suck. I know. It’s my list. Deal with it.

My musical tastes have always been terrible and I’m not a critic, just a listener and an idiot.

I have sound to color synesthesia which justifies nothing but might explain why I have trouble describing some songs in other terms than visual ones.

This list was wayyyy easier to make than the previous ones and I’ve actively listened to everything on it at some point or another in my life.

Also, after 1989 my sources for the French year-end lists are way more reliable, so that’s always something.

10 - Fading Like a Flower (Roxette)

US: #44 / FR: Not on the list

I swear this was already on this list in my drafts before reading the recent news. It was a bit of a shock.

Rest in peace.

9 - Shiny Happy People (REM)

US: #100 / FR: #86

Long ago, I saw someone calling this song REM’s worst song because it was, and I quote, “too happy to feel genuine, to the point of being disturbing”.

Implying that’s a flaw and not a feature.

8 - Je t’Aime Mélancolie (Mylène Farmer)

US: Not on the list / FR: #39

I don’t know who told Mylène Farmer she could mumble rap but that person needs to be found and... uh, and nothing, because the verses kinda suck but they’re just mildly annoying at worst and kinda funny at best. The music and the chorus are great though, to the point where I’m willing to put up with the rest.

That’s the point where someone who knows about her discography would go “but Johannes if you wanted to put an average MF hit song from 1991 on this list, Regrets was right there” and to that I’d answer “does this list look like a funeral?”

7 - Wind of Change (Scorpions)

US: #39 / FR: #3

Oooooh I listened to this a lot when I was 16. I even bought a battered vinyl version I found in a garage sale, just for collector purposes. You all know it, and I don’t have anything particularly interesting to say about it, but yeah, still great song to this day.

6 - Poupée Psychédélique (Thierry Hazard)

US: Not on the list / FR: #8

It’s a song mocking fashion and some of the ridiculous standards expected from women - the singer basically makes a long list of qualities and clothes for his completely artificial “psychedelic doll” who has “infinite legs” but who’s also made of “100% synthetic matter” and “needs batteries”.

This song is the one which landed on the list purely because of nostalgia, though. According to my father, little Johannes would start dancing every time it was on the radio, and yeah, I remember not getting most of the words of the song, nor, of course, the subtext. To tiny me, this was clearly a song about a guy who had an incredibly cool doll and wanted to tell the whole world about it.

I still like the song a lot today, mind you.

5 - The One and Only (Chesney Hawkes)

US: #93 / FR: Not on the list

This is on my “Fitz Kreiner” playlist and it’s one of my chosen theme songs for Fitz. I only discovered it a few years ago but I enjoy it a lot.

4 - Né en 17 à Leidenstadt (Fredericks, Goldman & Jones)

US: Not on the list / FR: #64

Nothing I could say would make that one justice if you don’t know about it yet (which I kind of expect since I’m pretty sure most of my followers don’t speak French to begin with), so here’s the song itself, and here’s a translation.

I love it but I respect it even more, to be honest.

3 - Losing My Religion (REM)

US: #33 / FR: #16

I have a strange history with this one, because it used to be very high on my lists of favorite songs. VERY.

And then... I don’t know. I got fed up with it in absolute record time. And it disappeared from my lists, my tapes, my head, everything. I genuinely don’t know. I still like it, I guess? It’s fine?

What happened? It’s like someone used one of these memory-wipe things from Men In Black to make me forget why I ever liked this song. ♫ That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, losing my favorite songs ♫

I’ve got no clue. It’s still #3 for this 1991 list, though.

2 - Crazy (Seal)

US: #75 / FR: #31

I. Adore. This song.

I mean. Of course I do, it’s almost at the top of this list. But hear me out. For literal years, I only had one (1) partial recording of it on a tape, beginning in the middle of the last sentence of the first verse, I didn’t know who was singing it or what it was called, I labelled it “? a little crazy?” on the sticker, and that was it. And yet I would listen to that song a lot. A looooooot. It is that good, and it’s a shame I never really connected with this guy’s songs again afterwards, but that one right there? Amazing.

I finally found what it was around 2004, and it instantly claimed a spot on my top 30, right next to friggin Moonlight Shadow.

If it was any other year, it would claim the top spot very easily.

Alas, this is 1991. There was always going to be one obvious winner and no one else.

1 - Désenchantée (Mylène Farmer)

US: Not on the list / FR: #2

I will forever be salty about this monster of a hit being denied its year-end #1 on the FR chart by a terrible novelty song. F o r e v e r.

About 17 years after I first made contact with Mylène Farmer, I’m no longer a real fan, I’m aware all of her stuff is deeply flawed and always was, and she’s mostly made some pretty subpar music since then.

None of this matters one bit because this song about a “disenchanted generation” is a f█cking amazing accidental Millenial anthem and it's still relevant to this day (”everything is chaos around me / all my ideals are just damaged words / I’m looking for a soul who’d be able to help me / I’m from a disenchanted generation / disenchanted”).

Did I like it back when I was making my lists on paper, though?

Um.

Yeah.

A fair bit.

And it’s accompanied by a ten-minutes-long music video depicting a rebellion against some generic unnamed fascist regime in some sort of prison or camp, and ending with the victorious rebels facing an endless plain and wondering where to go next and where to start again. The music video itself is, again, very flawed but still impressive and I really like the general idea of “rebellion is difficult, and messy, and scary, and sometimes it has to happen regardless of all of that”.

If you’ve never seen this music video before (the actual song starts around 1:30), well, it’s Mylène Farmer right in the middle of her Ultimate Goth Phase(tm) (for crying out loud there’s a crow on the album cover) so, uh, here’s various trigger warnings for fire, people getting hit in various ways, firearms, stones and glass bottles being thrown, blood, rats, and also, someone eating a bug. Enjoy, or not.

Also, this is what convinced me to cut my hair super short as soon as I was able to do so (2003 - my mother was not pleased) AND to wear a black cap on my head. I still have that cap. I still wear it. That’s just a footnote but yeah. Thanks, Désenchantée. I owe you one.

Next up: the list where I definitely lose the respect of everyone reading these lists hoping for actual quality.

#Johannes’ bad not good pretty terrible music lists #music #long post #flashing lights #eye contact tw

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umbralogia · 5 years

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Any story can be happy if you end it at the right moment :o) please enjoy this fic where magnus goes to ask maryse for her blessing so he can propose to alec

(read on ao3)

It had been heartbreaking to hear Alec so upset over the phone. He had kept his voice low and soft, most likely making the call from his office. He told her about the night before, about his attempt to propose to Magnus and how it had ended with heartbreak.

“Magnus said he had something he had to talk to you about, could you just… ask him how he really is? He’s shut me down every time I’ve tried to ask. He insists he’s fine, but--” Alec cut himself off, a trait that Maryse had passed onto her eldest son. She wanted him to go on, but knew better than to push him to do so.

She mixed in a little more cream with her coffee than usual. “I’ll do what I can, Alec, but you have to be more receptive to how Magnus might be feeling. He loves you with all his heart, and this is a lot for him.” She felt silly for not realizing that Alec had come to her to ask for the ring because he wanted to propose literally the next day. Maryse had been a fool to think her son would wait for a better time.

Alec was more than a bull in a China shop. He was an unstoppable freight train headed straight down the tracks, incapable of avoiding or preventing whatever stood in his path.

He exhaled softly, not strong enough to be a sigh. “I know, I’m trying, it’s just… it’s hard. He only talks to me when he’s already upset, and he doesn’t let me in enough to help him.”

“All you can do is be there for him, sweetheart, remind him that he has someone in his corner, that he’s not alone. Don’t make him feel like he’s lost more than his magic.” She thought of how all of her new freetime had helped her, how she had taken the opportunity to finally enjoy New York for what it was, how she had let herself date Lucian even when her gut instinct told her the opposite.

Alec was quiet for a moment, either too caught up in Institute work or thinking over what she had just said. She hoped for his sake that he was taking into account the few pieces of advice she could truly give him. “Thanks, mom.”

“No problem, sweetheart.”

“Magnus said he’ll stop by sometime this afternoon. I have a few meetings with the Clave because of Heavenly Fire.” He had told her some about what had gone down, and he had insisted that she didn’t worry, but she did. She had gnawed her fingernails to nubs as he had recounted all of what Isabelle and her vampire friend had done.

She spent the rest of her time working through the inventory that she had started. Maryse had yet to find a lot of things in Elliot’s little antique bookstore-- an inventory, keys to the back room, any sort of marks for wards or protective spells. She knew that they were still in place, she could feel the cool breeze of the wards when she walked up the stairs to the apartment spaces that were now hers, and sometimes in the back room where she had found a box of book repair supplies.

She had just finished rebinding a book of old French folktales when she heard the bells ring against the door. Maryse left the room to the store, finding Magnus standing there with a box in his hands.

“Magnus!” She smiled and walked over to meet him as he set the box on the table.

“Maryse, you’re looking as beautiful as ever.”

Her eyes were focused on the box, on the gold and flowery things poking out the top of it. “What is this?” She said with a small laugh, pulling out a large, heavy gold bookend.

“Some decor, I thought I’d help you a little with your store.” He smiled kindly and looked to the table that he had set the box on. “It looks like you’re doing some reorganizing.”

Maryse pulled out a bouquet of flowers, colorful and bright against the dark lighting of the shop. “These are beautiful.” She smelled them, fresh cut and sweet. “I’ll get these some water. Make yourself at home.”

She took the flowers upstairs with her, into the small apartment space above that she had started using as an office. It held a few things from home-- a handful of scarves, a jacket, some extra glasses, and a vase from the flowers that Lucian had given her to celebrate her purchase of the shop.

Carefully, Maryse filled the vase with water and recut the ends of the flowers to place them inside of it, then walked back downstairs.

Magnus already had a book in his hands and it took him a moment to realize that she had returned. He smiled. “You have quite the collection.”

Maryse laughed tiredly, “I’ve been trying to inventory them, but I can only work through the English, French, and German texts.”

He sighed, setting the book down. “Elliot had an obsession with German. He used to say that it was the only language for higher thought.” Magnus relaxed a little and Maryse was sure that it had to do with the familiarity of the store.

“Were you and Elliot friends?”

“Elliot wanted to be rivals.” Magnus explained, picking up another book and flipping through a few pages of it. “He turned to the Clave, harbored Circle members, hid their documents and correspondence.”

Maryse settled into her seat and rested her head on her hands. “You were High Warlock, why didn’t you have him exiled?”

He smiled a little, reminiscing. “Jocelyn and Dot convinced me that Elliot was a double agent, that he needed to stay in the City. Now that I’ve seen the Clave’s safe, I'm not so sure they were right.”

She turned to look at the safe that she had worked with Lucian to crack. “It had information about the Morning Star sword.”

Magnus looked a little intrigued by that.

“I do, however, need your help with these, if you’ll provide it.” She motioned to the books in front of her, scattered all over the table, some in piles, some not.

He smiled, “Of course.”

“Any language, or?” Maryse stood and moved to the side of the table to look through the piles that she had somewhat arranged on her own. “I’ve got everything from Armenian to Russian.”

Magnus looked at the piles, “I can translate anything, but Armenian.” He smiled and accepted the first book she placed into his hand, along with a notebook and pen.

She settled back into her own seat with her own notebook and pen. “I’ve been making note of the title, the author, a publishing date if there is one, the language, and what it’s about if I can figure it out.” Maryse looked at her own notes which had started off neat and slowly turned into a mess of shorthand and quick scribbles. “Anything you want is yours to keep.”

“That’s very generous of you.” He clicked his pen a few times and started to write, his beautiful cursive carefully filling lines with information about the spellbook in front of him.

Maryse had to focus on her own work, on the book that was sitting in front of her, written in Latin. She had figured out that the book was about early love potions and incantations, small superstitious things that didn’t seem like true magic. She jotted it down in her notes and moved onto the next book.

They worked in silent for a few moments until Maryse couldn’t stop herself from pestering Magnus again. It was strange being able to spend so much time with a man she had heard so much about. Magnus had always been on the other end of something-- either her Clave duties, the other end of a phone call, or in the conversations she had with Alec.

She knew that Alec hadn’t proposed yet, that Magnus was struggling with life as a mundane. Maryse couldn’t really imagine what he was going through. Losing her runes had been like losing and limb, but for Magnus to lose his magic? Something so intimate and personal, something so unique to him that it couldn’t be shared; she knew that it was losing a type of identity she had never experienced.

“I know that Alec asked you to do this.” He said after a few more moments of silence. “I appreciate that you haven’t asked me how I'm doing.”

Maryse’s heart broke a little, hearing Magnus suddenly sound so dejected. “I know, on some level at least, how hard it is, and I know that working helps. If you want to talk about it, I’m here for you, but I’m not going to ask you to tell me what I want to hear because Alec wants to hear it.”

Magnus’s breathing hitched a little as he exhaled. “Does it ever go away?” He looked up from the pages in front of him to meet her eyes. “The feeling that it’s gone?”

“There will be times when you forget entirely that you had another life, and sometimes remembering will make it all seem so far and distant, like a dream.” Maryse answered. She thought about how different it was, to lose her runes, Robert, the Institute, all at the same time. It had been like having her feet taken out from underneath her, only to find her own ground.

He seemed to relax with her answer, the tension in his shoulders eased and his fingers went back to the book in front of him. “I hope I adapt to feel more like that.” He placed the book off to the side and picked up another, flipped a few pages and put it in front of himself. “Right now, it feels like all of the air has been sucked out of the world.”

Maryse let herself relax, too. She hadn’t realized just how much tension she had been carrying in her own shoulders. “I know that feeling goes away. You have to let yourself mourn. You can’t hold in that hurt; let yourself be angry, let yourself cry and be upset, because if you hold that in, it’s only going to make getting better so much harder.”

Magnus’s spirits lifted a little, a small smile on his face. “Thank you.”

“No problem.” She turned back to her work, turned a page of one of the books in front of her. “Can I ask you a silly question?”

“Sure.”

“Was it you or Dot who had the relationship with Mark Twain?”

The hours went by quickly.

Maryse made tea, Magnus filled her afternoon with anecdotes about life in cities and countries she had never heard of with people she could have never imagined. They laughed, sometimes until they cried, chatting away through everything they could think of while working through a selection of Elliot’s old books.

“I know you know French and Isabelle knows Spanish, but Alec has never told me what languages he speaks. Is he the only non-bilingual Lightwood?” Magnus asked, his teacup in hand.

She rolled her eyes at the question. “Alec and Isabelle are both trilingual. I grew up speaking French at home and Robert grew up speaking Spanish. Izzy always took after her father. Jace knows French. Alec and Jace used to get in trouble for speaking French in front of their teachers, Izzy only wanted to communicate in Spanish, so when Alec stopped speaking both languages, they were forced to follow his lead.”

Magnus smirked a little at that. “I’ll have to use that sometime.”

Maryse snickered. “Don’t get me in trouble, please.” She begged, sipping her tea.

He shook his head and closed the book in front of him. “Do you mind if I keep this one? It’s an old Spanish herb book. I have a friend who would probably like it.”

“No problem, and let your friend know they’re welcome to the family and friends discount.

Magnus tensed a little, “Speaking of family and friends, I have something I’ve been meaning to ask you. I didn’t just come here because Alec wanted me to.”

Maryse sat up a little. “Yes?”

“I… I want your blessing. I want to ask Alexander to marry me.”

Her heart hit the bones of her ribs hard. She couldn’t find the words to speak, only a smile on her face.

“I know it’s soon, and sudden, but… Alec has been there for me like no one else and I don’t know what I would do without him. I’ve never… I’ve never loved anyone this way in all four hundred years of my life.” Magnus set down his tea. “If I had another four hundred years, or even four hundred thousand years, I’d want to spend them all with him.”

Maryse blinked through her tears. “Magnus, oh my god, of course you have my blessing.” She dabbed at her eyes with her fingertips. “You’ve had it ever since you stopped Alec’s first wedding. You’ll have a wedding to plan now, and if anyone interrupts, they can take it up with me.”

He laughed, tears of his own in his eyes. “Of course.”

“I expect it to be the biggest party New York has seen-- the party of the century.”

He laughed and took a sip of the tea she had placed in front of him. “Small wedding, but the engagement…” Magnus turned away to look at the floor, stunned by something. The mug slipped through his fingers and crashed against the floor, sending little glass shards all over the original tile.

“Magnus?” Maryse was already on her feet, she placed a hand on his arm, hoping to bring him back to the present.

He blinked twice and breathed in. “Sorry.”

“Are you okay?”

Magnus remained quiet for a second longer, his breathing still slow, eyes unfocused on the floor. “I… just… it feels like,” he stopped, his fingers curled into a fist and relaxed again, just as Maryse was going to reach for her phone and call Alec. He looked up and relaxed slightly.

“Sorry, I think it’s best I head home.” He shook his head a little, standing from his chair. His foot stepped down on a shard of glass, crunching it underneath. He stepped back, “I’m so sorry.” He brushed his hand over the glass shards in front of him before he pulled on his jacket.

Maryse let go of Magnus’s arm and looked down to avoid the shard of glass around them before she went to find some napkins to mop the spilled tea, only there was no glass to be found. She frowned and looked under the end of the table.

Magnus’s teacup sat there, in one piece.

She picked it up, tea inside of it still warm, and handed it to him wordlessly.

He held it, his eyes wide, looking at the tea in his hand. “I… I need my phone.” His hands were beginning to shake, tears flooded his eyes and before he could even realize he was crying, he was looking through the pages and books they had tried to sort through.

Maryse wanted to do something, to hold him? She wasn’t sure. Her hands went to the piles and started to sift through them.

Magnus laughed, rubbing his tears and smeared eyeliner on his face. “I don’t have to.” He murmured, and he straightened, snapped his fingers, and the device appeared in his hand. “I have to go call Alec, thank you, Maryse, thank you so much.” He said, as though she had somehow given him his powers back. “You’ll be the first person to know about the engagement party.” He said through a sniffle, and hurried out of the store, bells banged against the door behind him.

She picked up the book he had forgotten to take with him and placed it apart from the others, her hands shaking with the absolute miracle that had taken place before her. Maryse blinked away her own tears and turned out the lights of the store before calling Lucian.

#shfanficnexus #shadowhunters #malec #magnus bane #maryse lightwood #alec lightwood #mine #nothing hurts we're all fine this is all fine

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sammysdewysensitiveeyes · 5 years

Text

@thecorteztwins

In honor of Fabian’s abrupt and hilarious death, here’s a piece about him being so obnoxious that he gets kicked out of Hell. Warnings for some descriptions of torture (not in great detail, but kind of comically gruesome) and a vague reference to rape (NOT committed by Fabian, or any character we know).

Fabian Cortez – Spanish royalty, key member of the Upstarts, leader of the Acolytes, right hand of Lord Magneto himself and the chosen heir to carry on his legacy – was certain that there must have been a mistake. Because his abrupt demise at the laser blast of a Sentinel had deposited him in what he was fairly certain must be Hell. The screams of agony echoing out of the suffocating darkness certainly seemed to suggest that.

Obviously, Fabian Cortez did not belong in Hell. Obviously a mistake had been made. Except that it was the fourth time this particular mistake had been made, and Fabian was starting to think that some celestial file clerk had it in for him. Probably just jealous of how truly noble, pious and brave he was, outshining even the angels themselves.

“Really, this is unacceptable,” Fabian grumbled, crossing his arms in the sweltering heat. He stood at the end of a line that wrapped back and forth across an enormous cavern, the mass of people stretching out as far as the eye could see (not very far, in the smoke and dim light). This was new, the last time he had fallen directly into a lake of fire, which had really done a number on his outfit. And there had been piranhas, somehow.

“Of course it’s unacceptable, it’s Hell,” shrugged the woman just ahead of him, well-groomed and dressed in an expensive suit. “What did you expect?”

“I don’t deserve to be here!”

“Sure you don’t,” the woman scoffed. “No one does, right?”

“I’m a hero for mutant rights! My entire life, everything I’ve done has been for the cause! I’ve never been anything but noble and selfless,” Fabian protested.

“Oh, me too!” said a young man who had just appeared behind him, apparently college-aged and oozing “frat bro” out of his pores. “I’m totally a good person, man. That accident wasn’t even my fault. I barely had anything to drink, and what was that minivan doing out at like, 2 AM, anyway? It was just, like, bad timing.”

“No, no, you don’t understand,” Fabian said. “I’m actually a good person, and there has been a terrible mistake!”

“No, there hasn’t,” said the businesswoman. She was attractive, despite appearing to be over forty (Fabian had some appreciation for beauties who aged with grace and dignity), with short dark hair and fine features. “You belong here, just like me. We chose this life, at least you could be honest enough to own it.”

“You clearly don’t recognize me, woman. I’m Fabian Cortez.” He waited a moment for her memory to kick in, then frowned as the woman just raised an eyebrow at him.

“The leader of the Acolytes?”

“Oh, a terrorist, then. That explains it.” Clearly the poor woman was just overwhelmed by Fabian’s masculinity, and had become confused.

“No, a freedom fighter for mutantkind.”

“One person’s freedom fighter is another person’s terrorist,” the woman countered, giving Fabian a cold stare. “I’ve read about some of the things the Acolytes did over the years. You’ve murdered people. Justify that however you want, you’re still in Hell.”

“You’re obviously too small-minded to understand,” Fabian bristled, deciding that the woman was not terribly attractive after all. “I don’t belong here, and once the people in charge hear my case, they’ll agree.” Fabian ducked under one of the metal railings, ignoring the angry shouts as he pushed people out of the way.

“Hey, put in a good word for me, too, man,” the bro called after him. “It wasn’t drunk driving, I was just buzzed. I’ve got a high tolerance. And that thing with Kaitlynn last month was just a misunderstanding, she was totally into me before she passed out. It’s not my fault she changed her mind the next morning. Mixed signals, right?….” The young man’s voice faded out as Fabian continued to elbow his way through the crowd, disappearing into the smoke.

As Fabian fought through the line for hours (or was it days?) the demeanor of the queue gradually changed. At first the masses reacted angrily when he shoved past them – shouting invectives in various languages, reaching out to hit or claw at him – but their reactions slowly began to dull. The people that now pressed in against him on all sides began to resemble penned cattle – glassy-eyed and stupid, without a hint of spirit or personality. They would simply stumble forward or backward when he forced his way past them.

How long was this line, anyway? The back of the line had vanished from sight hours ago, and the front seemed no closer. He was lost in a sea of stupid, inferior humanity, holding him back, just as it had always been in his life. Perhaps there was no end to it? Perhaps the line itself was the torture? No doubt Fabian was the first soul in all human history with the insight to discover this trick – because, of course, he wasn’t really supposed to be there. And he wasn’t going to let it continue.

Fabian shifted direction, and pushed his way over towards one of the far cavern walls. It was, Fabian discovered, climbable, if one ignored the slime and stinging gnats, and the faces that formed in the stone and whispered surprisingly personal taunts to him. The faces also bit, but he jammed his fingers into their eyes as he clambered up and over them. Fabian endured the climb stoically (he definitely did not yelp and swear as the gnats tried to burrow under his clothing), and was rewarded to discover that the cavern wall did not quite meet the ceiling at the very top – there was a crack that he could squeeze through.

For a moment, Fabian shut his eyes against the glare that flooded the next room. In the next moment, emerging from the crack, he found himself tumbling down the rocky slope. This side of the wall appeared to be on fire. And there were cacti. At least Hell provided him with some variety. Landing in a heap at the bottom, he reflected that the screams had gotten louder.

“Shut up! I’ll be with you in a minute,” came a voice. Fabian’s mouth snapped shut, cutting off the noise that he hadn’t been aware he was making. He blinked away tears, brought on by the smoke and glare of the fiery cavern he had tumbled into. (Not brought on by pain or fear, obviously.) Somewhere under the wailing of the damned, there was an insipid pop song playing. Fabian was certain he had heard it before, he’d know it for certain when the song hit the chorus, but the music seemed to constantly loop around, never quite hitting the most familiar part.

He slowly climbed to his feet, taking in the sights. A long assembly line stretched out before him, with demons manning various points. People were being pushed onto a conveyor belt that carried them through various stations in which they were rolled in broken glass, rolled again in salt, then misted with what smelled like lemon juice. In another corner, demonic toddlers chased the blind-folded and barefoot damned across a field of Legos. A massive demon, lizard-like but with patches of mangled fur, stomped over to Fabian.

“Couldn’t wait your turn, huh?” It grunted. Fabian just gestured at the conveyor belt.

“It’s certainly efficient, but don’t you think it’s lacking a personal touch? You always lose some quality when you move into mass-production.”

“See, that’s exactly what I said!” exclaimed another demon, absent-mindedly spearing a human that attempted to flee the conveyor belt, and flinging him into the Lego field. “We need to be more hands-on, and really make the torment fit the individual-“

“Alastor, we are not having this argument right now,” interrupted the furry lizard. It grabbed Fabian by the arm. “C’mon, onto the belt. I don’t have time for stragglers.”

Fabian yanked his arm back. Hands on his hips, he straightened to his full height, tilted his chin up, and called upon the generations of wealth and privilege that had led to his own glorious self.

“I’d like to speak to your manager.”

It was days later, or possibly weeks, or maybe centuries. Time in Hell tended to ooze slowly like a rotting sore. The demons had thrown everything possible at him, and Fabian had endured like a man. Despite the screaming, and an embarrassing amount of crying that Fabian would never later admit to, he had refused to back down. And most importantly, he had refused to shut up.

He had demanded an audience with those in charge, despite being constantly denied. He had explained to them, sometimes angrily and sometimes with slow, condescending patience, that there had been some kind of mix-up and he absolutely should not be in Hell. Apparently this was a common ruse for the damned, which was quite irritating, it made it so difficult for the real cases like his to be resolved. The demons laughed and mocked him, often while sawing off limbs and peeling skin away. His body reconstituted itself after each round of torture, so it all seemed to flow in an endless loop. Except….his demonic tormenters keep changing. Fabian began to suspect he was working his way up the chain of command.

He’d begun on the conveyor belt, which, he’d pointed out between screams, was really beneath his dignity. Tossed in with the masses, as if he was no one important! He’d spent time in the Lego field, and discovered that the demonic toddlers would rip your organs out if you managed to drop-kick one (but it was worth it). A demon covered in flies had dunked him head-first in filth, ignoring Fabian’s protests that Hell should not lower itself to this juvenile crassness. A creature that appeared to be made up entirely of sharp edges had jammed massive needles into every orifice Fabian possessed, and made some new orifices that weren’t supposed to exist. Rather uninspired, Fabian had to inform his tormentor, any idiot could think of sticking something with a pin. A seductive female demon had teased him into frenzy, then transformed his penis into a giant snake that swallowed him whole. She didn’t seem to appreciate his constructive criticism that the symbolism was rather heavy-handed, and that she had completely misunderstood his psychological profile.

And so Fabian had been passed from demon to demon, each quickly giving up when they understood his pure and indomitable spirit. Occasionally they tried removing his tongue, or getting rid of his mouth altogether, but it was always restored when his body reset for the next round. The most recent fiend had moved Fabian’s eyes to the soles of his feet, and swapped the locations of his mouth and anus. It was disconcerting, but tremendously childish.

A sudden burst of hell-fire heralded the arrival of another demon, apparently someone important, as his tormentor dropped to his knees. Fabian tried to get a good look by lifting one foot up, but grit was obscuring his vision.

“Is this one? The soul that’s been giving everyone trouble?” demanded the newcomer, sharp and authoritative.

“I think I can break him, my liege. Let me re-arrange him a bit more, then we’ll start in with the rotating knives.”

“Enough, Berith, let me take a good look at him.” Fabian suddenly found himself restored, blinking the dust from his eyes. It took a moment for him to recognize the figure standing before him, but the figure was quicker.

“Oh, by the pit! It’s this asshole again!”

“Mephisto!” Fabian had met him after his previous deaths. The self-proclaimed king of Hell had been rather unhelpful in sorting out whatever cosmic mishap kept landing Fabian in the wrong afterlife.

“As you can see, it happened again. A complete mistake. Surely there’s some higher authority you can speak to, otherwise we’re just wasting both of our time.”

“How are you back here again so soon? Did you return to the living and immediately step in front of a bus? No, wait, I want to see. At least that’ll be good for a laugh.” Mephisto summoned a glowing sphere, and gazed into it, then burst into harsh, grating laughter.

“We were under attack. I heroically went out to help my companions –“

“Hey, Berith, check this out,” Mephisto interrupted, expanding the sphere so that Fabian’s gruesome demise was projected on a large scale. Fabian tried to make himself heard over the two demons cackling.

“Look, Mephisto, obviously some error has been made. If you’re quite finished, perhaps we can sort this out. I mean, letting this slide really doesn’t reflect well on your position as leader –“ Fabian was cut off, as Mephisto abruptly decapitated him. This being Hell, of course, it had no major ill effects, besides being extremely painful and inconvenient. Mephisto lifted the head by the ponytail, his burning eyes starring directly into Fabian’s.

“Listen to me, you little speck of filth. You have the gall to fall into my realm, and complain to me about leadership?”

“Well, yes.” Speaking was somehow still possible as a severed head, despite the strange sensation of his wind-pipe sucking at the empty air. “You really need to-“

“Shut. Up. Shut up for once in your pathetic, delusional, narcissistic life. You think you don’t deserve to be here? You are selfish, arrogant, cowardly, cruel, manipulative and treacherous. And worst of all, you aren’t even good at it. Every scheme has backfired, every plot has exploded in your face. You don’t even have the dignity of being one of the worst people down here because you have utterly failed at every attempt at major villainy. You aren’t even important enough for people to hate your memory. Your life is an insignificant little blip in the universe. You are unmourned, and quickly forgotten.”

There was a moment of shocked silence as the wheels turned in Fabian’s (severed) head. Something clicked, and he understood the truth at last. He began to laugh.

“Of course! I get it! I understand now! This is a test! I am being made to endure these trials in order to prove my goodness and nobility. Or perhaps my soul is being tempered in this fire, like a sword, to return to Earth in triumph and perform great deeds –“

Mephisto screamed in frustration, and kicked Fabian’s head across the cavern. It bounced off a stalactite and landed by the genital-smashing station. Fabian wasn’t particularly bothered, as he currently had no genitals to smash. A moment later, his head rejoined his body as he was restored again. Mephisto was pulling him roughly to his feet.

“You’re going back up,” the demon declared. “I’ve had enough of your crap to last a millennium. You miraculously survived the Sentinel attack,”

“I’m fairly certain my body was actually disintegrated,” Fabian felt the need to point out. He just didn’t want any screw-ups when returning to his physical form. God forbid he wind up with scars.

“You miraculously survived,” Mephisto continued through gritted teeth, and suddenly the scene rewound and replayed itself in Fabian’s memory. The laser hadn’t hit him at all, he’d heroically leapt of the way, heroically ducked behind a nearby tree, and then heroically fled the country in a strategic retreat. That was, indeed, how it had happened. The demon yanked Fabian forward by the throat, so the two were practically nose to nose. Fabian could smell brimstone and rotting meat as the demon growled at him.

“For Satan’s sake, stay up there a little longer this time, Cortez. And find some way to get into the Other Side’s good graces before your next ridiculous death. I do not want to deal with you ever again!”

The fires of hell faded out before Fabian’s eyes, and suddenly he could feel a cool breeze against his skin. The sun on his shoulders was pleasantly warm instead of scorching, and he could smell the ocean. It was heavenly. He took deep, grateful breaths of the refreshing salt air. As light and color swam back into his vision, Fabian saw that he was standing in a familiar beach-side bar. He smiled. This was exactly where he wanted to be. After that ordeal, he’d earned an extended vacation.

“Oh, fucking crikey! Dom, it’s that wanker again,” exclaimed a voice. Fabian looked up to see Pyro behind the counter with an expression of distaste. Fabian assumed that Allerdyce was reacting to the presence of an unwelcome bar guest standing somewhere behind him, and was too flustered to give Fabian the friendly and courteous greeting that he deserved.

“What’s got you pissed off enough to go full Aussie, Johnny?” Avalanche emerged from a back room, and scowled. Fabian glanced over his shoulder, trying to locate the customer that was causing such irritation in his two hosts.

“Cortez? You were just here! It hasn’t even been a month.”

Fabian grinned at them both. “Yes, I know you’re delighted that I am gracing you with my presence once again. How about a drink? I’ve had a rather difficult morning.”

“You’re not getting any more of our top shelf rum until you pay your bloody tab, Cortez. We ain’t seen a dime of that supposed family fortune you keep bragging about.”

“My very presence must be drawing in all sorts of business for you gentleman, surely that has some value in itself?” Obviously these two plebes had no idea how to deal with the upper crust of society. Demanding payment, as if Fabian’s word couldn’t be trusted, was so gauche.

“You’ve been coasting on that for years. We can’t restock the kitchen with your ‘presence.’ We want some actual cash,” Avalanche demanded. Fabian patted the pockets of his costume. It wasn’t as if Hell was well-stocked with ATM’s.

He surveyed the bar – surely some enthusiastic fan would be willing to spot him a measly few thousand to get back on his feet? The crowd appeared to be largely a collection of losers and morons (no wonder the co-owners were in such a foul mood), most of whom he could not recognize. He caught a glimpse of unruly dark hair and realized, with a sinking stomach, that Maximus was bent over some complicated mess of wires and circuitry that he had rudely spread across both his own and three adjacent tables. Maximus could be useful, but he was also a royal pain in the ass, and Fabian did not have the patience to deal with him at the moment. Luckily, the lunatic was completely engrossed in his work, and had not noticed Fabian’s arrival. But then, off in the distance, Fabian spotted a likely prospect on the beach. His attention was first drawn by the gorgeous dark-skinned woman, whose flowing garments did not completely hide impressive curves. But right next to her was a familiar face from the Upstarts – Shinobi Shaw. Not exactly a friendly face, but close enough, and - more importantly - incredibly wealthy. He wouldn’t grudge Fabian a couple of drinks on his tab, especially since his attention was taken by the weird bodily contortions that he was performing alongside the woman. Fabian could only assume it was some kind of odd foreplay.

“Put it on Shinobi Shaw’s tab. He won’t mind, we’re the best of friends,” Fabian commanded, turning back to the bar with a triumphant grin. Pyro and Avalanche exchanged a long look between them, then Pyro finally shrugged.

“All right, then. He probably won’t even notice.”

“And Shaw actually pays once in a while,” Avalanche added. “But we’re only gonna let you coast for about a week on Shaw’s account, then we want some actual money.”

“Fine,” Fabian sighed. It was not fine, and he would most certainly argue his case with these two crass, ungrateful, unsophisticated, money-grubbing peasants at a later date. But he had just rescued himself from Hell, and he did not need any more aggravation for the rest of the day. Instead, he took his drink and drifted out onto the beach, where Shinobi and the dark-skinned woman were now sitting cross-legged. Fabian hoped they would have the decency to move to a more secluded area before they began their copulation. Or perhaps he didn’t. The woman would be a sight to behold after all the horrors of Hell, perhaps that was worth a glimpse of Shaw’s naked ass.

Shinobi opened his eyes as Fabian walked over to join them, but seemed too blissed-out to react to his presence. Perhaps the copulation had already happened. He merely nodded at Fabian.

“Decided to hide, too? Good choice.”

“Strategic retreat,” Fabian corrected. He wouldn’t tell Shinobi about jumping onto his tab, no need to bother his dear friend with petty details, especially when he seemed so at peace. He’d find another time to discuss it, or possibly never. The woman remained perfectly still, but had also opened her eyes. They were beautiful dark pools that seemed to draw Fabian in. Her smile was brilliant.

“Welcome, friend! We’re just finishing a yoga session, but please feel free to join us in meditation.”

“That would be lovely, dear lady. Just like you.” Fabian let himself flop down onto the beach, sinking into the cool sand, hearing the soothing rhythm of the waves. He was absolutely going to bed the woman, his charm would be irresistible. But for now….this was nice.

Notes:

Fabian is absolutely not going to bed Haven. No one at the bar is going to sleep with her, they are all too sleazy. But after a whole ficlet of Fabian being too annoying to stand, I wanted to end with someone actually being happy to see him.

#fabian cortez #mephisto #pyro #avalanche #shinobi shaw #haven

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phanchester · 5 years

Note

For the positive asks!! ❤️😊📖📺💕😍🎶🎙️(That's a lot sorry you can ignore some of them if you want akksksk hah)

don’t worry, i love answering asks. if i missed any please tell me i am very careless and probably forgot to answer lol)

😊: what are some things you do to cheer yourself up when you’re having a rough day?

well, i guess it depends on what i’m feeling like. a lot of the time i watch dan and phil and sanders sides while curled up in bed wearing two hoodies. sometimes i get myself a plate of biscuits, because i am kind of addicted to those things. i try to do things which involve very little brain power so i can just sit and relax and calm my nerves. that also means i try to not go on any social media so i can just relax. i also sometimes sit and reread a book while listening to some calming music or i watch a musical bootleg on youtube.

📖: what’s a book/series you could read over and over again?

this is super cliche, but i could reread harry potter over and over again and i would never get bored of it. yes, i may hate jk rowling’s guts and yes, i may have read books with much better writing techniques and a much better story, but i have to give it to her. the world she creates with harry potter? marvelous. beautiful. a classic i could reread a thousand times and never get bored of it. i also love rereading a series of unfortunate events because it honestly is such a brilliant series with a such a unique vibe. i am also guilty of rereading friday barnes wayy too many times. friday barnes is basically a book aimed to a demographic who is a lot younger than me but it’s still so funny and it flows together in a wonderful manner.

📺: what’s your comfort TV show/movie that you watch to feel happy?

look, okay. i hate voltron. i absolutely despise voltron because of how they dealt with klance and how season eight turned out but the earlier seasons? so so good and so so rewatchable. i also love doctor who to an unhealthy degree. i think i’ve rewatch season two of new who about a thousand times - and yes, i cry every single time i watch those last two episodes.

💕: what’s something you love about yourself?

idk man i like singing i guess lol

😍: what’s a trait you admire in other people?

ngl, i envy other people’s happiness and strong will to live. i also admire people’s obliviousness to the terrible things happening in the world around them. sure, they may be hit with the harsh and cruel reality when they grow older and they may internally collapse with grief, but as dancing through life from wicked says - “life’s more painless for the brainless”.

🎶: name a song that reminds you of a happy time, or of someone you love.

for this, i’m just going to list a bunch of songs without context and see what people think.

history maker - dean fujioka

bohemian rhapsody - queen

the schuyler sisters - hamilton: an american musical

biggest blame fool - seussical the musical

doctor who theme tune - murray gold

hedwig’s theme - john williams

what is this feeling - wicked

circle of life - carmen twillie and lebo m.

take me home, country roads - john denver

naughty - matilda the musical

🎙️: what’s your favourite song to sing along to?

again, going to list a bunch of songs.

the entirety of the death of a bachelor (especially emperor’s new clothes, death of a bachelor, crazy = genius, the good, the bad and the dirty and house of memories)

okay fine basically anything by beebo (especially say amen (saturday night), hey look ma i made it, high hopes, this is gospel, girls/girls/boys, i write sins not tragedies, lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off, northern downpour, nine in the afternoon and the ballad of mona lisa but like any of them)

any heathers song (especially beautiful, candy store, the me inside of me, seventeen, lifeboat, shine a light (reprise) and meant to be yours)

any hamilton song (especially alexander hamilton, aaron burr, sir, my shot, the schuyler sisters, you’ll be back, helpless, satisfied, wait for it, guns and ships and washington on your side)

sincerely, me - dear evan hansen

any mcr song (especially helena, i’m not okay, welcome to the black parade, i don’t love you, cancer, mama and na na na)

any fob song (especially centuries, immortals, my songs know what you did in the dark, sugar, we’re going down, the phoenix, thnks fr th mmrs, this ain’t a scene, it’s an arm race, the kids aren’t alright, just one yesterday, uma thurman, what a catch, donnie, golden and the last of the real ones)

any dodie song (especially would you be so kind, human, sick of losing soulmates, she, in the middle, an awkward duet, dear happy and secret for the mad)

any jon cozart song (especially youtube culture, harry potter in 99 seconds, tourist and after ever after 1, 2 and 3)

sweet dreams (are made of this) - eurythmics

take on me - a-ha

toxic - britney spears

bohemian rhapsody - queen

sorry that was a lot i just like a lot of songs and have a lot of feelings. thank you @uwillneverknowwho for asking these questions, it was a lot of fun and i really enjoyed it.

positive asks

ask me more asks!

#emilee's asks #em answeres questions #asks #answered #uwillneverknowwho

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sadlittlenerdking · 6 years

Text

Patchwork Love

The Magicians

Word count: 2.8k

Summary: Apparently there’s a spell that can conjure things from memory. Which is all Quentin needs to create a Grand Romantic Gesture to convince Eliot he’s serious about Them.

He’s not even sure it’ll work. But Kady mentioned it once, absentmindedly, from her place at the center of the couch in the physical kids cottage. And they’ve (once again) successfully stopped another disaster, and beat the library, and got magic back.

The only thing that’s not how it should be is entirely Quentin’s fault, and even if this doesn’t work, he has a back up plan. Because things are finally going to be perfect. They’re all going to live, no more monsters are coming to kill them or fuck shit up, and they’re going back to Fillory. For good. He just . . . needs to make something as abundantly clear as is possible, so nobody (read: Eliot) gets it into their thick skulls that what he’s asking for is less than what he wants.

He walks through the shops doors, flinching as he crashes through the curtain of stringed beads, and a loud bell chimes to announce his presence, loud and assuming in his ears.

“Ah! How can I help you?”

Quentin opens his eyes, then, tilting his shoulder up and swiping at the beads clinging to him, until they all fall and clash noisily behind him. “Uh—I,” He looks back at the beads, contemplating an escape, before turning back around. “I hear you, can. My fr—well, she’s not really a friend. I mean, kind of? We’re not close—“

“Sir?”

Quentin clears his throat. “Right. Sorry. I—I hear you can create things pulled from memory?”

The shopkeeper makes a face, before leaning forward conspiratorially, “And who did you say sent you here?”

“Kady? Orloff-Diaz?” He expects he’ll have to describe her, but the shopkeepers eyes brighten with recognition.

“Ah, yes. my favorite little hedge witch. Tell me, how is she? She’s not stopped by in a while. Though, I expect that has to do with the chaos surrounding magic.”

“I—she. It’s a long story? But she’s okay? Now?”

“Brilliant!” He motions over his shoulder, “Follow me, then. I’ll just have to ask a few questions and then we can—“

“There is, uh. One. Thing? I should mention.”

“What’s that?”

“The memory is… from a separate timeline? That didn’t happen, but also kind of did.”

“But it’s still clear?”

“As if I’d lived it in this lifetime, yeah.”

The shopkeeper grins, “Brilliant. That’s all we need. A clear image and moment from which to pull from.” He steps out from behind the counter, and holds a hand out for Quentin. “Come on my little lamb. To the slaughter we go!”

“What?”

“You’ll see. Memory stripping isn’t too much fun. Some women have likened it to child birth.”

“Oh.”

“Doubts?”

Quentin swallows thickly, because no. There aren’t any doubts. Not anymore. Not after six months as Brian, and four more with Eliot as a nameless creature inhabiting his body. Not after quests and deaths and mayhem. No more fucking doubts so long as …. his anxiety reddened mind allows him to go without. Which probably has a time limit of about five more minutes.

“No, but—"

“Best get started, understood. Come along.”

And then they disappear through the back and there’s really no going back from here, is there?

During the quest, he didn’t tell anyone, but he’d created a journal. A timestamp of every quest related moment that mattered, or had an affect.

The day they stepped through the clock, but also didn’t, is preceded and followed up by three empty pages. So Quentin can always find it easily enough, without bookmarking it with hearts and enchantments that basically screams at any onlookers (read: his nosy-ass friends) to HEY COME LOOK AT WHAT QUENTIN’S GOT UNDER HIS BED.

So, he knows what today is. Has known for weeks. Months, even. But the last couple weeks are all that matters. Because there’s a disconnect from their feelings and their actions, now. Whereas before, everything came easy. Or, as easy as things involving Eliot Waugh can possibly grow to become. But now, there’s an invisible wall built up. From Quentin being Brian and crying over Eliot’s (second) death upon getting his memories back, without knowing that Eliot had been very much alive, but hiding beneath the creature, watching everything around them unfold without any control. To that moment, just a few weeks ago.

Of the fire beneath Eliot’s eyes slowly fading to confusion, to Quentin being pulled into a world crushing hug, and all of their friends piling on top of them.

To Eliot looking at him like he wants to say something, but being just as frightened as Quentin for once in his life.

Because so much has happened.

But beneath all their trauma and pain and loss, they’ve still got feelings piling up high and wide for the entire world to see if they just take one look at either of them.

But Eliot sees rejection and regret, when he looks at Quentin. He knows it. Because every time Quentin’s taken the opportunity to mention his feelings, in the past or in recent weeks, Eliot politely reminds him that he’s passed the point of experimenting and having stress related romps in the darkest nights of war.

Eliot, as closed off as he can be sometimes, is looking for a fairytale. Or, as close to one as he can graze his fingertips up against.

And, in all honesty, after all that they’ve been through, Quentin’s on the same page.

He’s not in love with Alice, or bored, or desperate for a time killer.

He doesn’t want Eliot because it’s convenient. Because it’s not. It’s messy and consuming, and they keep finding ways to hurt each other. They keep fucking everything up. It’s mostly Quentin, but Eliot has his moments, too.

But it’s time for Quentin to take a stand. Because it’s always Eliot, watching and waiting and willing when the time comes. It’s always Eliot willing to take the plunge. To get hurt. But he’s been hurt enough. He’s suffered enough.

So, Quentin didn’t say anything. Until he remembers an offhanded comment Kady said once. About a stuffed bear she loved as a toddler that was stolen. About her mom, tapping her temple and saying, “ My Kady girl, you never have to worry about losing the things you love, so long as you have them up here .” Of the secret magic shop that spells items from memory into existence.

He looks down at the bag as he makes his way up the stairs of the cottage, still surprised the shopkeeper had managed to find it with all his digging. His head and body are still so, so sore. But today is the day preceded and followed by blank pages.

Today is the only day to Make A Point.

There are no girls with baskets of peaches and plums to distract him. Only a girl he once loved, who’s grown into herself, and has moved on. A house full of friends. No distractions. Nothing.

He can’t think of a place he’d rather be.

Which is why, when he reaches the top of the stairs, and stops in front of Eliot’s door, that he shakes his head, turns away, and heads for his own bedroom. He sets the bag on his bed, gently, and thinks, as loud as he can for Penny to appear.

He should know by now to specify, but it’s too late because new and old Penny are standing in his room, staring at him with matching looks of disappointment. “What?”

It’s eerie, how their voices echo when they speak at the same time.

He smiles guiltily up at them. “I was just wondering… if you could help me set something up.”

“ What ?” New Penny asks, just as Old Penny scoffs.

Quentin’s grin turns up three degrees. “I’m going to tell Eliot I love him.”

“Ten years later…”

New Penny shoots Old Penny a glare, and turns his attention back on Quentin. “You know I can’t do that for you, right?”

“No, no, no, yeah. i know. I just. Was hoping, you could convince him to step through the clock and go to Fillory? Maybe, make it seem like a group outing kind of thing?”

“You could just walk into his room and say ‘hey love you, let’s fuck,’” Old Penny says, raising his eyebrows, “It literally doesn’t need to be this difficult.”

New Penny scoffs this time. “Man,” He says, “Did you lose your sense of romance in the underworld or something?” He rolls his eyes and grabs Old Penny by the elbow before shooting Quentin a look. “We’ll get it handled.”

“No we w—“

“No more pining .”

Old Penny stops struggling, and levels Quentin with a look Quentin can’t quite comprehend. “He’ll be there in an hour.”

He just opts to take that as a win and grins.

Not even forty five minutes later, Quentin hears the tale tell sign of someone walking through the woods, as leaves and twigs break beneath their feet. He straights out the blanket beneath him, and adjust the plates of food, swallowing anxiously, as the footsteps get closer.

“Hello? Look—not that I’m not into the cabin in the woods vibe, here, guys, I just—“ Eliot stops mid-sentence as he breaks through the trees and comes face to face with Quentin and the picnic. “Oh.” He doesn’t move. Even his hand stays planted on the side of the tree, where Quentin’s pretty sure the bark is digging into the palms of his hands painfully.

“I thought we could--“

“Where did you get that?”

Eliot still hasn’t moved. But his eyes are drawn to the ground in front of Quentin. And his voice is higher, slightly panicked or shocked, Quentin’s not sure.

But, he will admit that he’s starting to feel a bit panicked as his own eyes slide down to the blanket he’s sitting on. He clears his throat, and shrugs, before looking back up at Eliot. “I was hoping we—we could. Uh. Eat, and you’d notice it somewhere around the strawberries? And then I could give this—this speech. It’s not really a speech. I mean. It is but—“

“Q?”

“Right, sorry. I—“

“How—“

“I had a magician pull it from my memory and give it a form?”

Eliot’s eyes snap back up to Quentin’s, then. “What? Why?”

“Because I—uh. Wanted—Shit.” He shuffles up to his knees, panicking truly now, as the plates and drinks shake dangerously around him, until he can push onto his feet and stand up. He looks down at the slight state of chaos overtop the blanket. “See—you. You ruined it, you know?” He says, looking back up. “You were supposed to—to, just. Walk through and be like, ‘oh, what’s this?’ and I’d grab one of the cups,” He pauses, pointing shakily at the cup that had been by his foot just moments ago, “And I’d say, ‘Happy Anniversary, Eliot’ and you’d think on it, all confused like, what, but then you’d see the blanket. And then, you’d look up at me, then the cup, then the blanket—“

“And then I’d kiss you?”

Can a person's heart stop without it killing them? Can Quentin’s heart stop in his chest? Is that a thing that can happen?

Because if not, help, someone call an ambulance or something because he’s almost definitely dying.

“Q?”

He wills himself to look back up at Eliot, with the tiniest of nods. “Yeah, actually.”

“Like last time.”

“Yeah.”

“Last time, we—“

“We could have done better,” Quentin interrupts, taking a needy step closer. Just because they haven’t been as close lately as they were before, doesn’t mean he doesn’t long for the proof of Eliot’s existence, in either touches, or just the proof of life given by the warmth he emanates. “We—we can. We still have a chance, to. To do this right. We’re not in any danger—“

“Which is the only time you’re—“

“That’s not true. I just—I fucked up. A lot. But I’m not only interested when we’re in peril or something. I—I. I always want you around. And, I—I don’t know. Fuck,” He hisses, reaches up to run a hand through his hair in frustration, “I forgot my speech. You—you weren’t supposed to see it and then this gets all confrontational. It—it was going to be romantic and. And I was going to tell you I love you, in that really weird, all consuming, sometimes fucks up my spells because I’m too happy for them to work, kind of way. But I can’t even—“

“Q.”

“—do that right because I’m such a fucking disaster. And I just wanted to prove—“

“Q.”

“—to you that I’m in this for the long run, and that I’m not—“

“Q, you’re panicking.”

“—just looking for a quick, time killing problem solving fuck, or anything like that. I mean, obviously—“

“Quentin—“

“—I want to sleep with you again, because hello, but I—“

Eliot comes striding forward in four long steps until he grabs Quentin by his shoulders. “Q, you’re spiraling. Stop.”

“But I—“

“Stop.” He looks him in the eye, mimes taking a deep breath, which makes Quentin realize that he’d somehow said everything without taking any breaths in, so he follows the mime, until he’s not panting for air. Until they’re standing beneath the Fillorian trees, staring at each other. He’s not sure if it’s the exercise, or just because of how intoned they are with each other, but their chests are rising and falling at the same rate. Touching on the inhale, and separating on the exhale. Again and again.

Quentin keeps getting little glimpses of the feel of Eliot’s heartbeat.

“Are you good now?”

“Am I ever?”

“Are you going to faint?”

“No.”

“Good.” He half expects Eliot to pull away, but the concern in his eyes slowly fades, as the crinkles at the corners of his eyes appear until he’s staring down at Quentin like he knows something Quentin doesn’t—which is always dangerous.

“What?”

“You told me you love me.”

“What?” He furrows his brow, before sighing, because yeah, he had just blurted it out. “Shit—I—“

“Don’t apologize, Q.” He leans down, pressing his forehead to Quentins. “You got the blanket. From the night we kissed outside the house by the mosaic.” Quentin nods, his eyes fluttering shut. “You didn’t buy something similar, or go to a shop in Fillory and see if there were any. You went to a hedge witch parlor, and had it literally ripped out of your memory like it's some kind of mix tape CD from the early 2000’s.”

“A mixtape would have been a lot less painful.”

Eliot chuckles. “Physically, maybe. But mentally? The emotional harm? It wouldn’t be worth it.”

“Are—“

“For the record, I love you, too.”

Quentin opens his eyes then. “But you’ve been avoiding me. I thought—“

One of Eliot’s hands come up, his thumb grazing against Quentin’s cheekbone, while the palm of his hand wraps around his jawline. “I figured it’d be less traumatic.”

“What?”

“What the creature did to you…it was in my body. I figured the less you had to look at me, the easier it’d be.”

Quentin swallows thickly. “I mean,” He says, “I kind of never want to—to stop looking at you.”

“Oh?”

“No.”

Eliot grins down at him, and before Quentin even realizes what's happening, he finds himself pushed up against the same tree Eliot had held onto. And Quentin was right—the bark is sharp. But so are Eliot’s teeth, and they’re glinting in the sunlight as Eliot looks him over. “Then you don’t have to,” He says, leaning back in, until his nose presses against Quentin’s.

“Okay. That—that’s—“

“Do you want to keep talking, or do you want to make use of the blanket you so painfully collected?”

“I—I also—cooked…”

“I’m hungry,” Eliot nods, “But not for food.”

“That was—disgustingly cheesy.”

“Coming from you? The one who had his friends trick me into thinking there’s a big, creepy picnic in the woods. When instead it’s a poorly crafted love confession?”

“Ouch.”

Eliot chuckles, “I’m sorry,” He says, “But you really didn’t think it through, at all.”

“Do I ever?”

“….Fair enough.”

They stand quietly for a few moments, breathing each other in. Until Quentin, impatient and expectant, pulls back enough, just to say, “So… are you going to kiss me? Or?”

Eliot’s laughter is the last thing he hears before he feels his lips on his.

When they get back to the cottage, they wash the blanket, and fold it up, setting it alongside the back of the couch, so they can see it whenever they’re home, to remind them.

“I swear to god if that is the sex blanket on the couch that we all sit our happy asses on, I am actually going to murder you both. I don’t care if Eliot is my best friend! ”

It finds its new home on Quentin and Eliot’s shared bed.

#the magicians #queliot #quentin coldwater #eliot waugh #riz writes

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calumcest · 3 years

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oh tumblr had a wonderful update and now asks aren't limited anymore and all the fun script stuff like this is possible but i don't think everybody has the update yet? i'm unsure. you can send pics in asks as well now but only off anon

oh don't tease me with a britpop update 🙈 i'll cry. i missed losing my mind over my dumbass lying boy.

helen i'll really cry that's so sweet and yes rereading your fics was me coping with your absence here 🙈 (also they just make me very happy)

dein deutsch ist gar nicht schlecht!! ICH WEIß!! (apropos wer hat sich den ß-scheiß ausgedacht) warum kann man nich einfach alles klein schreiben? funktioniert doch in so jeder anderen sprache auch super 🙄 oder? es is so seltsam aber jedes mal wenn ich hier was auf deutsch schreibe bin ich so :) nur helen versteht mich :) oh weil wir gerade beim thema deutsch sind, ich hab ne vielleicht etwas komische frage ich weiß nich mal wie ich drauf kam und zwar wann feiert ihr weihnachten? weil wir feiern ja hier eigentlich am 24. und in england is es doch am 25. (oder?) und ja ich hab mich gefragt wann genau du und deine familie dann feiert?

thank you so much 💕 you're truly already doing the most i really mean it when i say that it makes me incredibly happy to hear from you (though i would of course not say no to more wilde kerle au)

oh science of medicine sounds soooooo interesting! (technology not so much i'm sorry it's included) also i kinda like science or like theory of science? very interesting to me. but philosophy? nah. hurts my brain. but very happy for you that you found some nice people 😊 and i hope at least the subjects you're actually interested in are going well

ooh and actually can you explain to me what the fuck the tier system is. i have only seen memes and i can't even manage to sit through the entirety of our news here without going mad so like i've not had the mindset to just google it 😅

well i am glad you wrote more after that scene i might have murdered you otherwise.. i could not have lived with that cliffhanger being the end 🙈& that is perfectly fine you should also take some time off! get some rest!! -spoiler twin

HELLO thats so exciting...how do you access it my asks still only have the regular box am i going to have to start coding like some kind of stem student

!!!!!!! ok listen. i know i have been shocking at responding i was unfortunately in a p bad mental situation over a large part of the christmas holidays but that has been largely solved now and your comments!!! your comments literally keep me fucking going i cant even Tell you how important they are to me GOD your comments as you were rereading britpop...i literally was refreshing my ao3 every few hours to see if you’d read any more and commented any more i cant even Explain how much serotonin they give me like the detailed comments you leave! the character analysis! the reactions to me mentioning noel writing songs :) ! the reactions to liam GOD i really do love that boy alongside you liam supremacy when . anyway i’m hoping to be able to write some more soon so!! we shall see but anyway i just want you to know How much of an impact your comments have and i’m genuinely very sorry i havent been in the right mental place to respond to them </3

GENAU ich hab KEINE AHNUNG warum man nur auf deutsch die blöden nomen großschreiben muss smh sitz immer da so ‘der...die...das...ok kleinschreiben. der...die- ok großschreiben’ deutsch-war-meine-muttersprache-aber-ist-jetzt-ECHT-nicht-mehr probleme </3 omg genau irgendwie fühlt es sich so geheim hee hee nur spoiler twin weiß was ich hier sage :) obwohl es was so 100m deutschsprachler in der welt gibt skdfjwhebf ooh ja also wir feiern eigentlich richtig am 25. aber machen ein bisschen so ein hybrid-weihnachten also am 24. öffnen wir die geschenke von der oma, tante & onkel und am 25. dann die anderen aber wir machen auch nikolaus und advent usw. was man in gb nicht macht weil die alle LANGWEILIG sind

kjwefnkwjenf honestly if i get around to rewatching the films and coming up with a plot that isnt just the memories of my 8 year old self fancying jimi blue...malum wilde kerle au is on the cards

god i know i hate history of tech i cant lie history of science is also fairly boring ot me i just care about history of meidicne wkefbjwhebf but i’ve managed to swing it so this term i’m only going to be doing history of medicine so! lets hoep it goes well <3 although i have the same professor for both my modules this term so if he doesnt like me im FUCKED bout to start arselicking fr...

WKJEFBWKHEFBWE thats so funny i love that youre seeing memes in germany well back before lockdown 3 every region in england was classified into a tier originally there were 3 tiers so for areas with low covid infection rates they were in tier 1, which is like you can meet indoors as a group of 6 from different households, all the shops etc. are open basically as close to normality as we’ve got since the summer here, then tier 2 is the next one up which is you cant mix households indoors but you can meet in groups of 6 outdoors, and then tier 3 was meant to be the strictest one which was you can only meet one person from another household outdoors so pubs etc were shut, and then a few days before xmas the govt introduced tier 4 which was essentially lockdown except schools were still open so non-essential shops/hairdressers/gyms etc were shut and now we’re back in full lockdown schools are closed unis are closed everything is shut we’re only allowed to leave the house for certain reasons anyway i cant lie the tier memes are incredibly funny to me sometimes the british public has rights and their sense of humour is one of the only times

how are you doing?? how was your holiday break? i hope you and your loved ones are all safe and healthy i know shits going down over there and you’re in lockdown too so i hope everythings okay and that youre holding up <3

#spoiler twin #Anonymous #helen answers

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feraldavestrider · 6 years

Text

i never check my mentions apparently @alpacalmond and @uiyutrentasei tagged me in a GTKM thing so im gonna do it oh uhhhh 2 weeks later LOL because i cant sleep and i hate myself

i tag @hal-strider if they didnt do it? and @noctiilucent, @kiyumiarashi, @whimsicmimic and @ataliaf uwu and anyone else who wants to do it!!

how tall are you: this is a cryptid question. i get a different result every time i try to measure myself and ive never asked anyone else to do it for me. some people tell me im very short, others have told me im average height for someone who is afab. im gonna hazard a guess at 5′5 tho.

what colour are your eyes: very dark brown

do you wear contacts and/or glasses: glasses. i literally CANNOT see without them. i mean like 2 inches from my glasses-less face is so blurry its unbelievable. i get super triggered by eye stuff tho so contacts are a no go ALSO i look weird w/o glasses anyway.

do you wear braces: no my teeth r p good actually. one is a bit wonky but thats life

what is your fashion style: i mean 90% panties and a sweaty 4 day tshirt because i just spend all day in my room like a goblin. BUT when i actually go out im ur basic ass post-emo trans dude with skinny jeans, converse and a too-big graphic tee. sometimes i spice it up with a plaid shirt because im fuckin GAY.

when were you born: october 12th 1999, babey

how old are you: 18 motherfucker flashes my titties and gulps a bottle of vodka im an ADULT

do you have any siblings: yes. a younger brother and hes a cunt

what school/college do you go to: im at sixth form rn (last yr of highschool technically if ur american but im not and hs finishes at 16 yrs old here deal with it). im going uni next yr tho and this years almost over for me academically since we go on study leave soon for our final exams. uwu overshares

what kind of student are you: the asshole who never studies for tests and does homework at 5am the morning before and still manages to pull straight As to everyones anger. im also the adhd class clown who makes random noises and cant concentrate half the time. ik i hate myself too im so annoying irl even more so than online.

what are your favorite subjects: in terms of actual content of the subject, english lit fs. in terms of classmates/teachers/general atmosphere DEFFO drama we spend half of our time eating cake, singing random shit and just losing our minds while filming it on snapchat which shouldnt at all be allowed.

what are your favorite movies: god idek. um. fuck. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA i cant think of a single movie. ok ok ok i got it: white chicks, premium rush, scott pilgrim vs the world, the cornetto triology too i just love edgar hes such a great director. i like a lot of the marvel movies esp the spiderman hc and thor ragnorok and both gotg were p good. i love a lot of movies my brains just a void that sucks memories up into its fat gob and steals them from me forever.

what are your pastimes: sleeping, crying, used to be rping but i gave up on that, playing overwatch way too much and getting tilted because im shit, reading fanfictions did i say sleeping

do you have many regrets: dude. my guy. come in close. let me whisper in ur ear. are you close? no, closer. ok.

YES

what is your dream job: whoo boy. im do indecisive and i think a LOT of jobs seem super cool that id never do i.e. be an actor or be in a band. my dream job since i was like 8 was to be a writer which is unlikely since i cant even finish a pwp oneshot. but thatd be cool. id also like to write plays and direct them but thats also wild and v dream > reality.

would you like to get married: honestly. marriage as an institution? angers me. i dont like a lot of things about it. BUT. part of the reason i hate it is honestly if ur in a long long term relationship with someone ur better off married than not in terms of the benefits so. id happily get married if the other person wanted and/or we felt like it was the right thing to do, i just dont really care about being married or having a wedding tbh.

do you want kids? how many if so: no. hard pass. i might adopt if im long-term with someone who SUPER wants kids but that likely wont happen because i dont want to get into a long-term relationship with someone so desperate for kids since i dont have that same enthusiasm. sorry. ill be ur uncle gabe but im not having my own children im just not well equipped to literally have a full time job of making sure little idiots (meant affectionately) who dont know fuck from shit dont just straight up die. i can barely do that for myself.

how many countries have you visited: shit dude actually ive only visited like... uh... 4??? a lot of my holidays tend to be to the same countries (portugal/america) so i dont have that much experience like i feel like i do.

what was your scariest dream: hmmmm. when i was a kid i had these recurring dreams where i worked at this like. “zoo” where these MASSIVE, i mean ABSOLUTELY MASSIVE string rays that were also pancakes were like. hooked up to make electricity? anyway i hated the job because we all abused the rays super bad to make them generate the power and it sucked and it was all dystopian. there was stuff where like we had to kill the baby rays and stuff. anyway one day it went all planet of the apes and they broke out somehow and could fly and they killed loads of people and i had to go into hiding because they were super clever and could id who had worked at the zoo plant and wanted revenge. its super weird ik but this is pretty tame for my dreams they go HARD and BIZARRE and this one always made me wake up feeling super sick and scared idk. ur welcome.

do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend/significant other: no im lonely but its ok because i need to work on me

put your playlist on shuffle and without skipping the first 15 songs: ok so i dont really have a “playlist” per se so im just gonna use my top 100 2017 songs on spotify which ignores a lot of my non-spotify non-2017 bangers but whatever.

1) ‘My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark’ by FOB

2) ‘Tuxford Fall’ - Vasudeva

3) ‘Our Lawyer Made Us Change The Name Of This Song So We Wouldn’t Get Sued’ - FOB

4) ‘Fried Noodles: Getter Remix’ - Pink Guy, Getter (listen ive never watched any filthy frank he weirds me out but this is a banger)

5) ‘Brick By Boring Brick’ - Paramore

6) ‘Thnks Fr Th Mmrs’ - FOB (i really dont listen to this much fob this is crazy)

7) ‘Death Note L’s Theme Goes Metal’ - Charlie Parra del Riego (theres no defence for this)

8) ‘Turnstile’ - Vasudeva

9) ‘Idle Worship’ - Paramore

10) ‘Monster’ - Paramore

11) ‘Miss Missing You’ - FOB

12) ‘The City’ - Madeon

13) ‘Far Too Young To Die’ - P!ATD

14) ‘Don’t Stop’ - Nothing More (really this is the band i listen to much smh these results are so skewed)

15) ‘Smile Like You Mean It’ - The Killers

#the void it speaks #lad tag #about me #i guess?#fhjdskshdsjg #this is stupid i h8 myself but also i love oversharing bye

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duckybeth99 · 6 years

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Against All Odds (Mainverse)

#Beth writing #ghosty blogging #ghosty beth #mcgillicuddy sunshine #johnny Bosteau #Makoto Bosteau #Adam Fontaine #Alice #trickster king #skeleton uncle #Esther #Neva arazel #Alejandro wilson

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dayoung-remade · 6 years

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tea on all moon signs 👀 ,, and also i !! really !! love !! your !! blog !! my heart flips everytime u post ajhssjsjdj 😤💓💘💞💖❤

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checkyesifulikeme · 5 years

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okay wow so much has gone on over the past couple of days i’m still reeling in shock but it’s almost a blissful state of shock if that’s even possible LOL. first things first i’m feeling very anxious abt getting a new job, i’ve been unemployed for a little over a month now and my guilt is picking at my brain and heartstrings like those little fish that eat the dead skin off of the bottoms of ppl’s feet.

SO i’m definitely going to Saddle Up and apply to whatever coffee spots are hiring, although i know my chances of being hired will be much greater by the END of next month (graduation = university students quitting their jobs&going back home) but i can’t wait that long because i feel like the universe is fixing me with a judgmental glare. i haven’t taken time off of working since high school really so maybe i’m just a bit of a workaholic despite Hating mindless labor idk i feel guilty/useless very easily ok !!!!!! but it’s not as bleak as it sounds. i’ve actually had an amazing month being unemployed (my bday month!) and i’ve finally started my journey on bettering my mental health which is something i’ve continuously put on the back-burner my entire life. so this was long overdue. i believe the prozac has actually been helping a ton (it’s the same anti-depressant my mom is on N we’re very very very similar in our mental health so makes Cents). i’m still looking for a therapist and i’m on a waiting list for a second opinion from a different psychiatrist in my city (there r unfortunately very few psych doctors where i live) because the one i originally went to diagnosed me in a kind of alarming manner??? i questioned it immediately but everyone told me to just trust him but fr he diagnosed me based off of 1 appointment and my answers on a sheet of paper, not even bothering to ask me about any of my symptoms in depth at ALL and immediately prescribing 3 different medications idk i was super weirded out but at least i got a good anti-depressant out of it lmfao (i’m not taking the other 2, both of which are anti-psychotics that left me brain dead).

aside from the mental health stuff i’ve been feeling extremely elated and joyous about life lately. i’ve gotten back into reading (read an entire book in 3 days and i’ve gotten a little over halfway through the goldfinch which i began reading like 2 or more years ago by now lolll) which i’ve been meaning to do for years and years. i finished my first sewing project! gotten a lot better w/ maintaining a clean space, watering my plants on a schedule/much more efficiently than before (i don’t have to haul them all into the tub every time they need to be watered) and i’ve been a lot more in tune with my emotions and needs as well as the needs of those i love. one of the worst parts of my mental health is the chafing irritability i feel for no good reason and the erratic ebb and flow of my feelings but since being put on prozac i’ve felt like i have a healthier grasp of things which makes my heart burst with joy because much of my life i’ve spent living in a perpetually ‘muddled’ state. it’s nice.

on top of all this, last night by ex best friend texted me a longggg apology/explanation of why he disappeared from my life about ~4 months ago and it made me cry. he’s flying back from london and will be back on monday so i’m probably going to meet up w him and my sister sometime next week! i almost felt this coming but didn’t at all at the same time lol idk how to explain. i was extremely hurt losing him as well as my other ‘best friend’ at the time but since then i’d sort of deaded those emotions and pushed forward and i’ve actually been doing really well for myself even if it can be lonely at times. i still had my online friends who i cherish so so so dearly, my boyfriend and my family and have been focusing on just Me and my inner workings and habits and how i can be better to myself and those around me, more involved more present more vocal about my love for them. more open to sharing myself. sharing myself has always been one of my biggest road blocks because i am so debilitated by fear (of rejection of judgement of being fully Seen). but i’m trying to move past this. i really am. i think i can overcome this fear by utilizing the even stronger force inside of me that craves connection, craves being seen but even moreso seeing others too and allowing them to know that they are loved and heard and cared for and i am here to help. although me and this friend’s relationship has been literally all over the damn place i truly believe from the bottom of my heart that he is a loving person. he has been damaged but we all have. idk. forgiveness is beautiful to me and i just feel so deeply that re-connecting will only make our friendship that much stronger. with so many of my ex friends i do not feel this way. re-kindling does not feel needed or entirely possible, really. but i have met very few ppl so in tune with my mindset, we’re very very different and have lived through VERY different circumstances but our inner workings resonate, if that makes sense. and he brought that up in our conversation last night and it just brings tears to my eyes. he said something along the lines of “i just don’t want to lose a genuine connection with another person especially in a fucked up world like this because they truly are so rare.” and i agree. i connect w so many people in different ways, i think all of us do or have the capacity to at least, but that deep understanding and history and mutual growth and love is rare, i think. i don’t feel like i can fully explain it here and now but idk i’m just super emotional over this because like i said i had previously deaded the possibility of reconnection in my mind, largely because i no longer knew how my (previously) best friends saw me anymore or had potentially even seen me to begin with. but him reaching out allowed me to understand a little bit more and i am certainly not beyond forgiveness because GOD KNOWS i have not been a perfect person. none of us have. my boyfriend is apprehensive but i know it’s just out of his protectiveness over me and he’d never hinder my autonomy to chose where i go from here. and i understand. he’s the one who had to stay up with me countless nights while i cried and lost my mind and blew up his phone with texts about how worthless and angry i felt and beat myself up time and time again so believe me i understand. it’s going to be a process but i just know forgiveness is absolutely the right choice. part of this journey for me is listening to my heart and she wants to forgive. see and be seen. hear and be heard. love is all that matters to me at the end of the day and i am not going to deny it.

#THIS IS INCREDIBLY LONG LOOOL #i can never keep my thoughts concise and to the point ok the aries+pisces energy in my chart is too overwhelming for that sorry girls #m

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