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#former friend
virginpornstar · 7 months
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Gay Friendships Die At 30
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Once my gay best friends turn 30 the friendship is over. Doesn't matter if we've been friends for 5 years or 15+ years. Gays want to start acting different and doing immature shit we weren't even doing in our 20s. I'd rather be former friends than fake friends. So once the fake shady immature bullshit starts, I gotta exit. Well make them exit my life.
The reason this friendship ended is so stupid, and I knew it was stupid from the beginning, but I can't repair things with someone on a mission to want to destroy them.
So my BFF (well former BFF now) and I were planning to meetup in LA. I was going to already be in California anyway or a work trip, and I wanted to go to LA anyway. I had a bad experience in LA last year, and I wanted a do-over. Plus I really wanted a picture with the Hollywood sign since I didn't get one last year.
My BFF was going to be in LA because he was flying to Asia with friends for his bday trip. Which I chose not to go on since I've never really had any interest in going to Asia. Plus the trip was originally supposed to be to Europe, but he randomly changed it. I was excited to go to Europe with him, since we had originally planned to go in 2020, but Covid happened. Plus I ended up going to Europe with another friend earlier this year, and had an amazing time.
Granted I never told him I was going to Europe until after I landed there. Which was shady and passive aggressive on my part. There's been a lot of shady and passive aggressive things over the recent years, which I'm sure slowly contributed to the demise of the friendship. It's like on Insecure when Molly and Issa fell out. It didn't just suddenly happen, but a gradual buildup. I'm definitely Molly and he's Issa.
Since we were both going to be in Cali at the same time, it made sense to be there together. Even though he basically told me I was inconveniencing him with hotel costs since he was planning to spend his first night there with some random guy he was talking to there, and then then the next night with his friends that were coming.
Granted...I don't even share hotel rooms with friends when I travel. The last friend I ever shared a hotel room with was him last year. When I travel with my other friends we get our own rooms. I prefer to have my own space. My job has me spoiled with my own hotel rooms, and when I travel I just prefer to have my own room. Plus I'm a slut. I love to be able to have a guy over whenever I feel like it.
Both of us were financialy strapped, and had put off booking a room as long as possible. I had sent him a suggestion the day before I left, but he said not to book it now. He was going to look the next day. Well I was already in Cali the next day, and was starting to get anxious about not having my next hotel booked since I had to be out of my work hotel Monday.
After I woke up from my nap, I saw he'd texted me that he booked a room at a hotel by the airport. I was immediately annoyed, because I don't stay by the airport. Usually airports are so far from everything, and everything I wanted to do in LA was in the Hollywood/West Hollywood/Beverly Hills area.
Granted LA is so big, that the airport isn't even that far or inconvenient, since everything is far an inconvenient in LA. I was looking at a hotel in Koreatown, since the places I'd originally wanted in WeHo/Beverly Hills were too expensive/taken now.
So I was like whatever. I wanted to book my own room anyway since I wanted the Hotels.com/HIlton points that I'm trying to upgrade my status before the year is up. Plus when he said he booked a room already the message said "if you're interested". I interpreted that as I have the option to still book my own room.
I tried to call him for clarity, but we were on different times. So I just booked a room at the same hotel for 2 beds to be safe.
Then when he woke up he told me he'd gotten that room for his friends, and he could get us a different room at the same hotel for the same price. I told him I already booked us a room.
Then he asked the price. It was nearly $400 for 2 nights, but the double bed room was more expensive than had I just reserved a single bed room.
Then he got pissed at me because I had already booked the room and it was more expensive than whatever random site he was using. I didn't want to use the site he was using, because I'm already loyal to Hotels.com, and also it's sketchy. It like shows you pictures of a room based on how much you're willing to spend, and you pick the one that looks best, and then it tells you the details of the hotel afterwards. WTF.
Also I wanted the room in my name since I'm already in Cali and would most likely be at the hotel before him anyway. I want to be able to just get there and check in, and not have to wait for someone else to get in my room. So that's easier if it's just in my name anyway.
Then he was pissed because he didn't want to pay more to stay at the same hotel where he could get a cheaper rate, and I wasn't willing to cancel because I already booked/paid for it, and I wanted my points to upgrade my status before the year is up.
Then he got booked that I booked something else when he booked something, but he'd already told me he just booked that for his friends earlier. Then I explain that I wanted to book something ASAP since I'm already in Cali and prices are going up each day we don't have something booked. Plus he booked something at a hotel without even asking me first. I was going along to get along, by just going for the same hotel, since there were cheaper hotels in other parts of LA.
Then he said I was "acting like a bitch, but what else would he expect" for saying the "if you're interested" leaves the door open for me to book my own room. Which is my preference. Then he says "girl fuck you" to me after I say I'm not being a bitch since I went with whatever hotel he picked to book a room.
I said "if I was acting like a bitch than I would've booked the cheaper room with one bed" but instead I paid extra to make sure there were 2 beds for both of us.
Then the next morning he texts me with a fake ass apology saying he was half asleep, and was mad because he thought I'd booked a room at a different hotel in another part of LA.
WTF. You clearly complained about the price of the room I booked at the same hotel you already booked a room.
He apologized for calling me a bitch, and then quoted neNe "well I said acting like a bitch".
I sent him a meme of Molly from Insecure looking annoyed. He then doubled down on being half asleep and claimed he reread the messages. Hence his apology.
WTF. You were mad about the price. It was very explicitly clear that I had booked a room at the same hotel, and also calling me a bitch and saying "fuck you" to me was a ridiculous response for this trivial situation.
So I was annoyed his apology didn't even match what was said. Like don't say you misinterpreted what I said, when you very clearly were upset about having to spend more money at the same hotel. I don't like bullshit apologies. Honestly I don't like apologies in general. I'm a Scorpio. I'm not going to forgive you regardless, so I'd rather you just not fuck up in the first place.
So then I say that he wasn't arguing about me booking at a differnt hotel, and he was mad about me booking a more expensive price at the same hotel. Granted I don't even know if he made sure to make sure he was booking rooms with multiple beds, or just going for the cheapest price, which would've been a room with one bed. I only think he apologized because of realizing he may not have booked a room with 2 beds, and had just gone for the cheaper price.
I didn't even want to keep this argument going. But I also wasn't accepting an apology that wasn't real. Like apologize for what happened, not make up some bullshit when the texts clearly say otherwise. He kept trying to say he was sleepy and thought I booked somewhere else on the other side of LA, when the words he texted me never mentioned any of that. No one is about to gaslight me into some bullshit.
Also don't tell me you "reread" the messages, yet what your saying was never mentioned in any of the messages. So I wasn't backing down, and he kept defending his lie. then he had the audacity to say all he's apologizing for is ccalling me a bitch, and then said if I think he's such a liar than we don't even gotta link".
That was the dealbreaker for me. We didn't talk for 2 weeks after that. That is some bullshit I don't play with. Like you're my best friend of 5 years, we haven't seen each other in 5 months, and we've talked about going to LA together for years. So you're going to just essentially abandon me in LA by myself, since he had his other friends he was traveling with coming, because he refuses to apologize for the bullshit he caused and the fucked up things he said to me.
I'm an only child, so I don't mind being on my own. I actually do better that way. Thankfully I had an amazing time in LA. Both nights I met local guys that showed me a great time. I had more fun in these 2 days in LA, than I had last year when I was in LA for 2 weeks.
I did everything I wanted to do in LA. I got the pics I wanted, and when sight seeing to see the places I'd not gotten to see. I went on dates, got dick, went bar hopping in WeHo, and even went to the dispensary. I had an incredible time in LA. Regardless of my BFF abandoning me.
But I still find it incredibly fucked up that he'd even be that childish to rather we both be in the same city at the same hotel but not speaking, because he refused to apologize for what he actually said to me.
Also that's such bum nigga shit to cause an argument to get out of paying for room. Granted I already paid for it, and got my wish of my own room with one bed, so I didn't care. But this is exactly why most gay friendships end due to trips. The broke friend causes all the problems, and then the friendship is over.
But I also am pissed because i knew this was a dumb argument from the beginning. I knew that. I was willing to move on, but I also wanted the apology to be genuine and not some made up bullshit. Even re-reading the texts now this whole thing is so stupid. Yet I'm not letting someone talk to me crazy, and then refuse to apologize for acting ridiculous.
He's an egotistical Leo, and I feel like after he moved to Florida and got his own friend group. he feels like he's Regina George now. In our friendship he was always the Nicole to my Paris. Guys have literally called him my "ugly friend" to his face. Now I never viewed him as my ugly friend. He has no problem getting niggas, but I was always the more social media famous of the 2 of us.
I feel like he's even more big headed thinking he's queen b now because he's "in charge of the girls" of his friendgroup. That ain't me, never been me, and I'm not afraid to be all by myself. I don't even do friend groups, because I am a selfish bitch and don't give a fuck when people hate me. I can't fake anything to get along with a group.
Which is why I fell out with my ex BFF of 16 years. His new friends didn't like me so he chose them over me. Once he had a huge 30th bday, and invited all of his friends from all over the country, but didn't invite or tell me about the party, when I had just taken him out to lunch for his bday the week before, then I was done. We're clearly not friends if you're not inviting me to your big milestone events you planned celebrating yourself, and then not even having the respect to tell me. I had to find out on social media. WTF. That's so childish, and high school. We're in our 30s. We weren't even doing fake shit like that in high school or our 20s. Yeah...I just saw the best option was to end the friendship.
Now with this. I didn't want to end the friendship. After 2 weeks of not talking I sent him the mughshot I found of Zimbabwe. He's the only person that I could talk to about Zimbabwe that would understand. I'd already given up on expecting my BFF to take accountability or genuinely apologize for what he really said. I was just ready to sweep it under the rug and move on. We'd already not spoken in 2 weeks, and we'd both been on multiple trips. We'd missed out on so much of each other's lives already, and LA has passed.
But he refused to move on. He said he's not ready to talk to me until we revisit our previous argument. WTF. It's been 2 full weeks...I don't even care anymore.
Then I say "I'm not sure what's left to revisit. You started unnecessary drama, refused to apologize for what you actually said, and then didn't want t hangout with each other in LA and we didn't...
Then he says "yeah I'm cool on you. So I was petty and responded with "k" and then blocked him everywhere.
I'm over it. LIke I'm not waiting for a 30 year old man to decide when he's ready to be my friend again, when this drama was caused by him.
I was rude and inconsiderate. I knew his financial limitations, and didn't care because I wanted to book my own room for my own benefits.
Still I don't think that warranted being called a "bitch" or having him say "fuck you" to me, on top of saying he didn't even want to see each other while in LA. That's the part that really pissed me off, because I would've never said that to my best friend. Like petty drama over money isn't going to make me want to not see you while we're in the same fucking city and haven't seen each other in 5 months. Then being in the same hotel at the same time, and not speaking. Like we both still had each other's locations and were in the same fucking hotel at the same time.
It's so stupid and petty, and we both decided to escalate the drama instead of neutralizing it. Well I feel like I tried to neutralize it. I said early on that I don't want to dwell on this drama, but I'd rather if he's going to apologize to apologize for what he actually said.
I hate liars more than anything. You're not going to lie and say you're mad over a reason which literally had nothing to do with anything you said the night before. Read the fucking texts. The whole convo was in text. Right there. You're clearly mad because you didn't want to pay more when you could pay less. Don't make up some bullshit saying you thought I booked somewhere else, and then keep doubling down on the lie.
He is being a Lying Leo. That's a fact. He's clearly lying. It's there in print. That gaslighting me bullshit is what really set me off. Like all you had to do was apologize for the truth, instead of continuing to perpetuate a lie. Then this could've all been avoided.
Then we're not getting that time in LA back. it's not like we can just go fly across the country again next week. Like to miss out on that time together that we aren't going to get back, over this dumb shit also really pisses me off. Like I would've never said I don't want to see you while in LA. Especially not over this dumb shit.
Then the fact that weeks have gone by, and I'm sending you messages and want to move on and talk like normal, and he's continuing to want to stay in this negative space and keep having the same damn argument.
Like you're still not telling the truth or taking accountability. Then on top of that LA is gone. We didn't see or speak to each other, despite being in the same hotel in the same city. There's no point still arguing over a trip that not only passed, but we both had other trips since then. Like it's the past.
All I wanted was to have my best friend back to gossip about more dead gays in Atlanta, and to talk about my ex that's been in jail for months.
Instead he wants to keep having this same dumb argument, and i'm over it. Again. I refuse to wait for a 30 year old man to decide when he wants to be my friend again. Especially when he's mad about the drama he started.
I don't give a fuck how mad you are...don't disrespect me by calling me a "bitch" or saying "fuck you" to me, and then saying you don't even want to see me while we're in the same city. I have blocked many gays for flaking on plans with me.
I don't think the disrespect I received was warranted with this petty drama, and then the fact you'd be fine just leaving me alone in LA because you knew you had other friends coming was fucked up. On top of refusing to move the fuck on when weeks have passed.
Yeah. Friendship over. This is so immature and stupid, but gays don't mature with age. Yet another of my closest gay friendships has died.
I'm also probably less motivated to salvage the friendship because I've been fucking this guy he really likes behind his back for months.
I really am a terrible friend. That's always been my biggest fear with gay friendships was having my friend fuck my man behind my back. 2 of my exes tried to fuck my BFF to get back at me, and he valued our friendship enough to resist.
Yet I was weak. Maybe not weak because it involved not temptation, as much as giving into dark urges to self sabotage. 2023 has been my year of chaos. Choosing chaos any chance I get. Blowing everything in my life up, and then finding order amongst the pieces.
I have no choice but to take accountability for my own actions in the demise the closest friendship I've had for the past 5 years. I'm still devastated things ended this way, or that I made the choices I made. I really thought he'd be my best man at my wedding...if that ever happens.
Yet that's the Scorpio way. We can't keep a friend...
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sweaterkittensahoy · 1 year
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The former friend's phone was taken off our of plan today.
After several months marking milestones off the calendar, that last connection is cut.
Sean and I briefly discussed giving them a heads up on the exact date they'd be off our plan. He pointed out that we'd said end of 2022 (today was the closest we could get), and that I'd put it in writing along with all the other dates we had to set on the other stuff we had to untangle.
Part of me still thought we owed them a follow-up reminder, but then I stopped and let that response sit with me for a second, and I didn't like it at all. It felt forced. Like I OWED the former friend a reminder when, in fact, I didn't. I'm still undoing all the mental shit from being manipulated into that caregiver role I never wanted nor offered to provide, and this idea that I HAD to give them a heads up on something that was previously established, in writing, and easily findable in their email, had that oily feeling of reacting due to emotional manipulation tactics all over it.
So, we didn't send a reminder. It's not my job to send the reminders anymore. And it shouldn't have been my job in the first place. Not the way they did it. Not the constant use of me as a living alarm clock and appointment maker and task checker. Not like that at all.
I was supposed to be a dearly loved friend, not a caseworker and caretaker. And I wasn't given the choice on becoming the other two. I was manipulated and emotionally abused into taking on all those things, and I don't owe them more of me.
It is, for the best measure of this sort of shit, officially over.
I did it.
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empty-unicorn87 · 1 year
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I'm just writing here because nobody from my rl uses tumblr and I needed to get out how much I miss an old friend of mine. People in my real life don't understand a lot about how my brain works due to my stupid BPD. I mean it's all well and good to understand what puts me in some moods but, fuck me! It shits me sometimes that people try to tell me what I'm thinking or how I'm supposed to feel about things. My old friend turned back to meth after being clean for a while, probably while I was pregnant with my now 3yo. She was there for me for my entire fucking pregnancy and the birth, aside from my partner (the baby's father), she was the only one who never once let me down and even planned a baby shower for me. Yeah when she was on meth she did wrong things, she lied, she stole, she fought, she manipulated (all the fun stuff drug addicts do). I stopped talking to her because I really didn't want drugs around my child (I saw them enough as a child).
I just have moments in my life when it's quiet and I'm either looking through pictures or thinking about things, that I really miss my old friend. I wish she knew. I wish I could talk to her without my partner and friends judging me for being soft and forgiving. It just makes me sad that I am missing someone who used to be so integrated into my world and now it's like she and I went through nothing together.
I guess I'm just venting because I have nobody irl to talk to about this and it's gotta go somewhere instead of floating around my head.
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eisheartoffantasy · 2 years
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Entry #4. The Girl Whose Instagram Page I Can't Stop Checking
Wow, third entry within the span of two days. I've really been having a hard time mentally, haven't I?
Just now I was scrolling through a girl's Instagram page for heaven knows how long, and for about the tenth time this month. No, she's not someone I have a crush on or someone I dislike. She is simply a former friend.
I have lots of former friends, as I'm sure many people do, so what is it that makes this girl special?
In short, I consider her my savior of some sort.
You know how after going through some amount of pain, a specific part of you dies? Around this time last year, one part of me was what I considered permanently dead. But then, someone unexpectedly enters your life and revives that dead part of you. This girl was that someone.
I'll refer to the girl as Emily for the sake of convenience — don't worry, that's nowhere close to her real name and despite how common the name is, I've never had an Emily in my close peer group.
Due to the circumstance of our relationship, we were pretty much forced into spending quite a lot of time in each other's presence. Emily and I are so very different in pretty much every way possible: her a social butterfly, me a hermit; her gossipy and bubbly, me taciturn and cynical; her affectionate and naïve, me stone-faced and untrusting. To put it bluntly, she was the type of girl I never would've considered a deep friendship with — I'd take one quick look at her and instantly conclude that she was too "mainstream" for my liking. I took no interest to befriend the average popular girl whose Spotify playlist consists only of the current top 50 songs by artists whose images constantly appear in ads I never asked to see.
Emily, on the other hand, seemed enthusiastic from the beginning. "Let's hang out before I go meet my friends today!" She said something along those lines the second day we met; before that she had already brought me greeting presents. "Let's hang out" — such a common phrase for most people, yet something I rarely heard anymore. Only out of politeness, I agreed.
"I like your outfit, it looks 'boujee.'" "I can't believe we're physically here! It's like I'm in a dream!" "This girl I'm gonna meet, she's just so cool. I hope we'll become best friends." "Ran into this celebrity today, my friends back home will go crazy." The way Emily spoke always felt uplifting and bright, even when it was about things I saw no significance in. Is this really how average college girls talk? If so, I must've always surrounded myself with "weird" crowds, for I had never walked side-by-side with anyone who spoke like that.
And just like that, slowly, Emily started to grow on me.
"Oh my lord, that guy we met today turned out to be a total weirdo. You won't believe what he asked me," Emily ranted one evening. I turned to her, half-sympathizing and half-amused, "Oh, I will. He looked weird to me since the beginning."
"WHAT!? How could you tell?"
"From literally his entire existence," I had to suppress a smirk, for I didn't want to come off as making fun of the poor girl's lack of judgement. "You really suck at reading people, don't you?"
She really did. As I already stated, she was affectionate and naïve, anyone who was nice to her face would easily win her trust — at least on the surface level, I noticed; it's not like she wouldn't have doubts, but even when she did, she didn't let it show in consideration for the other person. She was childlike that way and I, a self-proclaimed expert at reading people, felt an urge to protect such a childlike quality.
Perhaps that was how Emily's arrival in my life happened to bring the dead part of me back from its grave. In the brief, luxurious few months we spent together, my life was brightened up by this girl whom I would've unhesitatingly rejected under different circumstances.
My friendship with Emily came to a rather unfortunate end. On one night where my mental health was at a low point, I let Emily see...what I consider a shameful part of me. It was too much for her untainted eyes, I assume, and Emily decided to exit my life within a matter of days.
At that point, I was long used to losing people; but losing Emily hit much harder than I expected. I kept asking myself: so what? You didn't care about girls like her anyway, your personalities already determined that the two of you won't share the same path. Why bother crying over losing a friend you were never meant to have?
But no matter how hard I tried to kill off the part of me Emily awakened, it seemed to have officially come back as an undead, set on haunting me forever.
Do I resent Emily? I want to say no, because rationally speaking she didn't do anything wrong — neither did I for that matter; it was a situation where nobody wanted to hurt anyone, yet the hurting was done. I wanted to reconcile with the undead part of me, this time more than ever as I knew it was here to stay, so I made many attempts to have a talk of closure with Emily — a major difference from how I'd dealt with ends of friendships in the past few years — but Emily seemed to have grown scared of me and avoided me. Or, who knows, maybe she was genuinely busy.
When that part of me died the first time, I vowed to not linger on past friendships ever again. But since it's now sticking around as the undead, I check Emily's Instagram page every now and then, frequency depending on my mental state.
I have no other intention than satisfying my own curiosity — I would just like to stay somewhat up-to-date with how Emily is doing now. She is well, living her naïve happy life, the seemingly unlimited brightness in which must have cleansed her sight of the "taint" I left in her. And I'm glad.
Stay this way, Emily. The world needs more untainted individuals like you, and fewer like me.
With warmth and hopefulness,
Ei
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distressedoverajinx · 9 months
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Pretending to be okay is taking a lot of energy lately. I don't want to be here anymore. I'm tired. I'm lonely. I'm not meant to be here.
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conatic · 2 years
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Chez un ancien copain
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The past few days have been super hard and has made our mental health absolute dog-shit. We just lost a few friends all because one of them decided to pull the same bullshit our highschool bully pulled six years ago. Of course this was super triggering for us because, once again, we literally didn’t do shit plus false claims we’re made about us and one of our friends, calling us xenophobic, toxic, using violent speech, an inability to cooperate with them or the mods of the discord server we were in, bullying people into leaving the server, shunning people we didn’t agree with, passive aggressiveness(this is the only right one), hostility towards them and their girlfriend(We barely talked to their girlfriend and our friends constantly tried to avoid conversations with her), and abuse of the blacklist channel by targeting specific members(which also not true, we’d communicate with everyone we had and issue with and *then* put it in the blacklist so there wouldn’t be any further issues). We’re fucking pissed off because they then sent us a message saying that we were now banned from the server and that they were “terminating our friendship from here on out.” Then they blocked us without even letting us defend ourselves. They never even showed us or our friend any of the apparent evidence that they have! But we have piles upon piles of evidence of other shit that they have done to us! And we can’t even send it to anyone! I’m fucking pissed off. I’m pissed that we’re also being lied to and gaslight by this person again and being lied to and gaslight by a former friend again for shit we didn’t even fucking do. This has literally caused us to dissociate so much to the point where we can’t recall the majority of the past 72 hours. The gaslighting is finally even starting to get to us too. Its ringing around in our head like an echo chamber. This fucking sucks.
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 6 months
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He was just being a silly little guy!
[First] Prev <–-> Next
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nelkcats · 10 months
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Invocation to the wrong deity
Diana needed help, but it was a burden that fell on her, since the danger was on Themyscira. She wasn't going to bother her companions with a personal problem so she didn't inform the League.
Or at least, she didn't think to ask for help until she realized that she required an experienced mage to perform a summoning. She could ask Zatana for help but she was on a journey, and Constantine was not an option. With a sigh she decided to contact Captain Marvel.
Her partner agreed to help her immediately, and with much reluctance on her mother's part (no one was happy with the Captain's participation but they accepted it) they managed to perform the summoning. Just in time, because one of the "evils" from Pandora's box had landed on their land.
Unfortunately, instead of summoning their old guide "Pandora", someone else appeared. A teenager in a star-spangled cloak looking around excitedly. Of course, no one was happy with such a development.
Except the summoned one, Danny was happy to leave his meeting with the Observants, the excuse of the summoning was always convenient.
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mileenaxyz · 2 months
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I love this man. He's really on the ground, building shelters, feeding and clothing people. 🥹 He's working tirelessly in Congo.
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yardsards · 13 days
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"i don't ship laios and marcille-" oh yeah same, their relationship is so much more compelling to me viewed through a platonic lens than a romantic one
"-like, marcille clearly hates laios" are we reading/watching the same series??? did you just stop after the first couple chapters??? look at their relationship development, that's her friend! her bestie, even!!!
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cicicolorao · 6 months
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fingers crossed that season 2 reveals more about Dimension X and what the hell happened
also I think Ramon still has his own skills, but he needs to get back into the habit of using them, and get his strength back
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sweaterkittensahoy · 2 years
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Back when the local library still charged late fees, the former friend first ended up in financial straits and had a large stack of fees for overdue/lost books. At the time, I was unemployed, and when the friend said, "Look, I can't afford to pay all my fines, but I also can't get books out. Can I use your account?"
And, I said yes.
What I should have said was, "I'm sure if you talk to the library, they'll find some way to help."
But I didn't. Because we were both broke and stressed and in need of entertainment. And I wanted to help my friend.
Some months later, the local library dropped late fees all together, and I texted my former friend. "Hey, no more fees! You can go back to your own card!"
The former friend replied: "Oh, but I like sharing an account with you and seeing what you're up to!"
So, I thought, well, with no more late fees, what could it hurt? So I went, "Okay, whatever."
What I should have said was: "We follow each other on Goodreads. You can always see what I'm reading."
Now, the library has a policy that if a book is lost (not returned after X amount of time), then the fee for a new book gets added to your account. If you return the book at any time, the fee is waived.
Sometime in 2020, I decided to try and get through the giant pile of to-read books cluttering my apartment. It's a LOT of books, so I haven't actually used my library card for more than the occasional ebook in a good, long while. I've never had a problem getting the books I want, so I assumed the state of my library account was fine.
Some months ago, the former friend mentioned they'd lost a book and felt terrible, since it was on my card. I assured them it was fine. It happens. I could handle covering a new book.
I think we all know what's about to happen:
It wasn't one book. It's 10 (so far; they still have several outstanding checkouts they have to return). It's not the 20-30 bucks I assumed for one book. It's currently 191 dollars.
And these losses have been happening since March of last year.
And I heard of ONE.
One.
Like, I'm mad about the amount of money because it's part of the ongoing lie my former friend was knowingly perpetrating. The actual amount, financially, is something I can handle. But to tell me months ago, "Oh, I lost a book," when, in fact, by the time they told me, they'd lost SEVERAL.
The layers of dishonesty that continue to come to light are making me fucking rageful. To be used like this makes me want to start some SHIT. And believe me, I've got the details and personal contacts to do it.
I won't do it. Tempting as it is. I won't. Because my ethics start at "If I wouldn't do it to a friend, I won't do it to an enemy."
But fuck me the temptation.
The library card, by the way, was one of the first instances of my former friend tying our lives together in a way that would make it harder to untie them should something go down. The first, baby red flag. That I didn't see because this former friend had never been anything but genuinely kind, hopeful, and caring towards me. Always respected my boundaries. Always listened to what I needed. Why would I suspect the library card was anything but a little bit of a quirk?
I won't speculate their own thought process. That way lies several hours of obsessive thinking, and I won't do it.
I'm gonna stay fucking mad, though. That much I can give myself.
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haunted-xander · 2 months
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It's Riku! Riku's here!
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misstycloud · 9 days
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Yandere.childhood sweetheart ex X reader
Imagine a yandere childhood sweetheart ex going to visit his darling at university, but unfortunately she isn’t so happy like he thought she’d be.
“What are you doing here?” You asked, horrified at the sudden appearance of your ex-boyfriend.
He attempted a soft smile, but you could easily see the storm beneath it. With a small laugh, he said, “what do you mean? I’m here for you, obviously.” He stepped forward and reached for you hand, you pulled it away from his reach.
“No, like- why are you here at all?” You punched your brow in frustration. “I get that you’re here for me or whatever, but why? It’s not- we are not together. We broke up.” To emphasise your point, you used your hand(the one he wanted to hold) to gesture between the two of you.
He gulped, “Yeah, but that was just because you wanted to go to university here in the city- even though there are completely okay universities in our hometown.” His tone soured at the end of his speech. As if he somehow couldn’t believe your decision to leave that small, boring, hillbilly town that you were forced to grow up in.
You scoffed and rolled your eyes, “only if you want to learn how to milk a cow 50 different ways.”
Your ex frowned and expressed his clashing opinion, “don’t say that, it’s where we grew up, where we lived-“ he got quieter “-and…where we fell in love.” The man looks like he was on cloud nine remembering the good ‘ol’ days.
“Sure, yippie!” You sarcastically cheered and noticed how his mood went sour again. He definitely didn’t enjoy how you easily played off your past relationship. Too bad for him you were completely over it; he’s stuck in the past and needs to move on.
The young man chose not to call your out on your(in his opinion) somewhat rude behaviour. It was not your fault, after all. The city and its people clearly haven’t been a good influence on you. But wasn’t that the reason he was there? To convince you to come home with him. He sighed before putting on another smile.
“Well, are you gonna invite me in?” he easily looked over your head, into your apartment. “It’s a little cold out here, y’know.”
Ignoring how ridiculous it must look from a passerby’s point of view, you stuck your arms up to obstruct your ex-boyfriend’s sight. If you’d been as tall as he was, you’d simply stand in his way to keep him from checking out your home. Unfortunatly, not everyone can be built like a skyscraper.
“No, I’m not going to let you in. You aren’t even welcome!” You exasperated. Why couldn’t he understand you didn’t want him there?
He was quiet for a moment, which made you think he was finally getting the message, but your hopes were crushed when he said in a cold voice, “Don’t be rude. It’s not like you to act like this. I told you going to the city was a stupid idea.” You were a bit shaken at this new side of him. In the past, he was always happy and sweet to you. On the rare occasions(usually when he thought you were hanging out more with your friends than him) you did fight, he was never like this; chilly and looking at you like you were in his way. While both were objectively bad, you thought you preferred when he was all hot instead of…this.
You were silenced and could do nothing when he pushed past you and entered your apartment despite your previous objections. Not knowing what else to do, you closed the door. You turned around to see your ex standing in your living room, examining the room top to bottom with an unimpressed face.
He hummed, “It’s cute. Although, I could build you a house much better than this. But as long as you’re happy, I suppose.”
“Excuse me?” Ain’t no way you’d let this dude come and diss your home like that. “Did you come here only to insult my home? Because, if so, you are free to leave.”
He shook his head, laughing softly, but you could still hear the insincerity in his voice when he said “No, no, I didn’t mean it like that.” (He definitely mean it like that) He walked to the wooden bookshelf you had placed in the corner and picked out a book right away, even though the large selection should’ve kept him busy for a while. With his back turned to you, it was impossible to see which book he'd pulled from its spot.
When he finally faced you again, you understood why he chose it. The book’s cover was clumsily made, it was clear that the creator was not a professional. It was uneven and did not line up with the stack of pages of the book, thereby leaving paper sticking out. Despite its rough appearance, the title was made with gold lettering which still had its shine, even though years has passed since its creation.
‘Damn it!’ you thought. Everything was so messy when you first moved and not wanting to deal with lose things forever, you just found some temporary home for items and left them there. It was now that you regretted your laziness. You should’ve put it away(throwing it seemed a bit heartless, even for you)
“You still have it?” He asked, the previous coldness gone, now he simple seemed slightly bewildered. Caressing the cover, he continued, “I thought you threw it away, to be honest, hehe.” The man glanced up at you with those loving eyes. You used to adore it whenever he looked at you like that, now they brought you nothing but unease. “I’m glad you kept it.” He finished off before putting it back in its place.
You tried focusing on anything but him; hellbent on ignoring his silenced stare. The day could go worse than this, you thought. Why the hell did he have to show up? And just as your life here in the city started going smoothly. Of course your past had to come back and bite you.
Both of you were lost in thought(with very different ideas) and the only sound was from the ticking clock on the wall.
“Why did you leave me?”
“H-huh?” You focused your attention back on him and saw his serious expression gazing back at you.
‘He seriously need to control his mood swings.’
“You heard me. I want to know why you decided to leave.”
“You know why: I couldn’t be stuck in that little town forever. It was boring and nothing ever happened. I don’t want to live out an existence like that, it’s not what I want.”
“That’s not a reason. You can life a good life without being James Bond. We were so happy together. I even-“ he stopped to take a deep breath, “I was goin to propose. I had started saving up to buy you the ring you deserve. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you.”
You sneered at him and said angrily, “Well, hate to break it to you, but I obviously don’t feel the same. I’m sorry, okay. But I never wanted to get married- I don’t even know where you got that idea from. Why would I marry you?-“
“Because we love each other.” Your ex rolled his eyes in annoyance, “that’s kind of the reason people get married, Love.”
Ugh, he acted like you were the insufferable one. Like you were the problem! He was the one with too thick of a head to understand that you don’t want to be with him. And he even dared to call you Love, just like when you were together.
“No, I don’t love you anymore. Stop this.” You groaned as you felt a headache coming in.
“You’re the one who needs to ‘stop this’. Can you see how foolish you’re being? You broke my heart and for what? Some dumb degree you’re not even gonna get.” He grabbed you by the shoulders and leaned in close. “It’s me, (y/n). Your Theo.” You held your breath as he took your and and placed it directly above his heart. The heat from his body and the comforting beats had you remembering how much you did love this man. “This is yours. All yours, Love, you only need to accept it. I can give you everything you ask for. Come home with me, and forget this dumb university. You won’t find your dreams here. You’ll only be truly happy when you’re back home with me, I can promise you that.”
You stood still and watched as Theo kissed your knuckles; a common way for him to show affection. His words stung, yet you couldn’t hate him for them. It was true, things weren’t as great as you’d make them out to be. It’s all because you didn’t want to disappoint your parents. They still lived in your hometown and had worked their asses off to give you a chance to follow your dreams and make it big.
Originally, they’d been agaisnt you moving to the city. ‘But it’s so far away’ they had said, and ‘you’ll regret it’. You knew they wished for you stay and marry Theo instead, but that’s not what you wanted.
So you gave them a piece of your mind before storming off to Theo’s house. You spent the night there in fear of facing your parents, especially after that little action of liberty. It was ironic how you threw yourself in his arms, considering the whole argument was about something that’d ultimately have you leave him.
As you were contemplating your all your life choices, Theo dropped to his knees. You gasped, first thinking he’d fallen. But that was clearly not the case, because immediately after, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a red velvet box.
It didn’t take Einstein-level of intelligence to see what kind of box it was and what it undoubtedly contained. The devotion in his eyes had you gulp.
“I know this is sorta late now, but every couple has to go through a number of challenges. So, (y/n) (l/n), will you do me the honour of marrying me?”
The ring inside was more beautiful than you’d imagined. It was, truly, your dream ring. It was also proof how attentive he’d been back when you were younger; he actually did listen to you and remembered every bit of foolish young thoughts you’d splurted out.
It was just a question. One that everyone has the right to say ‘no’ to if they don’t think a ‘yes’ is fitting. But there was something in Theo’s eyes that made you waver. You weren’t fully sure what it was apart from how feral it seemed. All your senses told you to reject his advance, however, you caught yourself wondering if that really was a good idea.
How will you respond?
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hwiyoungies · 1 year
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it’s ok wonwoo we’ve all been there
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