#forever going with the flow
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so, as you may or may not know, I have a fic in which evan is a youtuber and barty is a streamer and his viewers made him watch evan's videos
and like, they're at the point where they're gonna meet up to film a video for evans channel together. and.
let me tell you HOW I WISH that the video they were doing was eating and reacting to ship edits that ppl make of them. HOW I WISH.
but describing the edits would be IMPOSSIBLE and also... that probably wouldn't happen bc evan is far too shy.
#marauders#ao3 fanfic#rosekiller#writing#forever going with the flow#evan rosier#barty crouch junior#giggling and kicking my legs
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i think they would get along
#one of these characters actually tried to kill her classmates and the other is emu otori#project sekai#emu otori#revue starlight#daiba nana#[nonchalantly as possible so nobody knows i take screenshots of any nana-esque thing emu says to cough up blood about]#mfw runninf away from the changing flow of time i've forgotten even who i was#MFW I HOPE THAT NOTHING CHANGES AND WE CAN KEEP THE STAGE HERE FOREVER#pjsk#prsk#proseka#revstar#all these damn tags#im going to spend the next 6 hours on one assignment due at midnight and the other six on the assignment due tomorrow morning. adios#WAAAAAAAH. WAAAAAAAAH. just kidding it's fine. ^_^#its funny this got more than 1 like on twitter i made this for an audience of Me#it seems the pjsk and revsta overlap is pretty high. thank you satohina tomoriru and the star button on tsukasa potatos suit
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I think about Owen and the Chimera surveillance network a lot, because to me it isn't a question of having a surveillance network or not. It is happening. The question is: who will control it?
The surveillance network is an arms race between Chimera, the U.S. government, and I would imagine also the Russians and the British as well. One of these entities *will* succeed, Chimera is just the furthest along. Its like the race for the atomic bomb- each superpower pursued its own nuclear weapons program simultaneously, the US (collaborating with the British) just crossed the finish line first.
Here's my argument.
The first crucial piece of the puzzle is Barb Larvernor. The first time we hear about the concept of computers making spies obsolete, it isn't from DMA/Owen. It's from Barb. In A1P5, Barb says:
"Well picture this- the world's first, large-scale, information collective and archival system... Its just an idea I've been toying around with. If it worked, we'd be able to take down syndicates by doing the detective work from the safety of our desks. It would take the guesswork out of your job, hopefully saving some lives in the process- including your own. Can you imagine if this technology existed?"
There's also this conversation between Barb and Tatiana from the interludes during One Step Ahead.
Tatiana: I need you to search for an island, the size of a compound, that can store hundreds of computing systems
Barb: Easy, I have actually already been researching locations that fit that exact criteria... see, I have been thinking of a technology that can revolutionize- found one!"
From these two exchanges, we know that at the very least Barb is working on this "information collective and archival system" for the US government to use, although she seems to still be in the research and development phase.
Now, let's move on to what we know about Chimera's system, and what Owen wants from it.
First, we have this dialogue from A1P8, of DMA outright telling Curt his plan:
*recording of Cynthia plays*
Curt: where did that come from?
BVN: a little birdie told me
DMA: that little birdie being an advanced network of information surveillance that we've been-
Curt: boring!
Then, from A2P5, we have Owen explaining the system and why he wants to control it:
Tatiana: bird? Little birdies? His scientists developing... you're after the technology
Owen: Pop goes the weasel! An advanced Nazi information surveillance network to collect and archive state secrets.
They discuss why Owen wants the land (silicon babyyy), and then:
Owen: Don't you get it? Those stores of silicon from beneath the Earth's crust will allow us to mass produce Von Nazi's technology and deploy his system on a global scale! I'd have all the world's secrets. I'd be God. Now what a world that would be, eh?
The conversation continues:
Curt: my government will never allow this
Tatiana: not even the Soviets will
Owen: not at first, no. Everybody likes to do the watching, but nobody likes to be watched
Tatiana: you can't just invade the privacy of civilians without reason or suspicion
Owen: well, I like to think we are just turning everyone into a spy, they just aren't aware of it
Moving on to A2P6, the staircase scene:
Owen: YOU STILL DON'T SEE, DO YOU, CURT? There won't be any agency to go back to, once the system is global. I'm going to single-handedly dismantle everything you've ever believed in
Then
Owen: the future is happening, Curt. And it's not going to wait for you. What use will one man be, when a box in a room can do his job in seconds, huh?
Curt: sounds boring
Owen: you're a caveman, and I've invented fire
To me, this absolutely reads as Owen being aware that somebody- be it Chimera, or the US, or the Russians- will have this surveillance network. The future is inevitable. The future is surveillance (he was soooo right), the future is computers. Curt just can't see it yet, because he doesn't know technology the way that Owen and Barb do.
Going back to "I'd have all the world's secrets. I'd be God." Makes me believe that Owen is doing this so that *he* will control the flow of information. That he will be able to protect himself against what is coming. That he will never have to be vulnerable to his secret again.
Because here's the thing: we don't know if Chimera is going to use this information to punish or harm queer people. Given that Owen believes he will be in charge of the surveillance system, I'd say at the very least he does not believe it will be.
His goal seems to be "a world without agencies, a world without spies, a world without secrets." It seems to be the destruction of spying as an institution, and undercutting the nations which make use of spies to influence global events. At no point does he say that he will expose queer people if he is in charge of the surveillance network.
But, the US government absolutely will.
The US government is already hunting down queer people, even without a fancy surveillance network. Having control over Chimera's network would only make that task easier for them. Curt's secret, the secret of any queer person in this time period, is almost certainly safer in the hands of a gay man than it would be in the hands of a bloodthirsty global superpower that is already hunting down queer people.
Finally, at the end of the show, after Cynthia says that pretty soon nerds in lab coats will be running the show, we find out that Barb is getting the resources to fully work on the technology she has been talking about the entire show:
When Curt killed Owen he did not kill the surveillance network. Not for Chimera. But also, by handing A.S.S. evidence of what Chimera was doing, he likely influenced the US government to fund Barb and make her surveillance system a reality. A surveillance system that will invariably be used to hurt people like Curt and Owen.
Its possible that Curt never takes down Chimera precisely because the US now has a surveillance system to tell them that their ex-agent, the agent who went rogue, is also gay. And I don't imagine they would be very Gay Rights about it.
From a real world perspective, Owen and Barb were right: surveillance technology was the future in 1961. It is the present we currently live in. Warrantless, invasive, built into every piece of tech we use. The future happened, and it didn't wait for Agent Curt Mega.
#jesus why do i do this#this is about to get 4 notes hahaha#spies are forever#tin can bros#curtwen#owen carvour#agent curt mega#saf#tcb#carvernor#seriously sincerely no disrespect meant to that owen surveillance network post going around#i just genuinely do think about this a lot and kept meaning to make a breakdown#and that post got my autism flowing
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it feels cosmically unfair that i think about writing all the time want to write all the time and sit down to write all the time and i come up with two sentences at best. there should be some reward system i think
#RAAAAAAAAAA#the thing is i know why i'm stuck it's because i get overly wrapped up in meaningless details of word choice and sentence structure#and i need every word to be perfect before i can move on to the next and that just creates an interminable cycle of being so slow to#progress i feel like even more like a failure and imperfect and respond by being even more intense about it#in spite of the fact that almost no reader is going to look at my work and go hey nice i noticed you used a word with an aesthetically#pleasing number of letters here as opposed to a word ending in t which would have ruined the flow and disgusted me forever#but it's not about the readers i'm the one who reads it and gets disgusted forever#and i know this does not matter but it feels like there is no conceivable way i could write something without it being perfect first try#fucking hilariously i edited the tags of this post for a good ten minutes because the spacing of the words was bothering me so i had to#find words with different lengths as replacements#RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#anyway i'm doing wonderfully#this is about soulmate au i think maybe because it's so important to me i'm especially perfectionistic over it right now#brain can you stop it i'm on my hands and knees#also t is the worst letter invented hands down. no question.
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hi hi hello i have been gone forever due to various reasons such as “work” and “mental illness” and “having developed a kpop hyperfixation that has been occupying most of my attention recently” but i need everyone to know that i saw off book live twice last week (in philly with a friend and then in nyc with my girlfriend) and it was truly so everything. i didn’t get many pictures but i did get a few and none of them are very good but one of them is of jess’ amazing stool balancing act and that’s all i need really
#flow of the rings a volcano story i love you forever and ever#tryin’ the musical i love you also#also i asked a question during the talkback at the philly show :]#if it gets released as an episode and you hear someone named will asking about the hedgefrog logo that’s me <3#i want to be active on here more i miss it#i’m thoroughly enjoying being a little unhinged about kpop with my friend bee (the one i saw the philly show with actually)#but it does make a little sad that i haven’t been as fixated on zach and jess lately#they are still everything to me though don’t get it twisted#it’s very much a Special Interest TM so i will probably have other z&j phases#but regardless i do enjoy this silly little corner of tumblr#and i love that pibe has like Actual Fan Content now it’s beautiful#and i AM going to finish and post my malpal fic i PROMISE i just. don’t know when 😭#accidentally wrote an essay in the tags whoops#anyway i can’t promise i won’t disappear again but i’m gonna try to be more active#mine#off book#play it by ear#pibe#zach reino#jess mckenna
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"C'est La Vie" / Gale & Astarion ramble 1k words, as I try and figure the characters out... ✦
✦ I wrote all night,
Like the fire of my words could burn a hole up to heaven,
I don't write all night burning holes up to heaven, no more... ✦
Gale sat near the heat of the blazing campfire, his brown eyes reflecting the stars above him. Everyone else had gone to bed not too long ago, and he would leave for his tent after a moment.
Just…a few moments more.
He just wanted to watch the stars a little longer. He wouldn’t have too many moments left to do so, he could feel it. Be it Mystra’s will, or his own mortality beckoning, he felt it like it were breathing down his neck.
Gale took in a steady breath, the night air crisp, like it could rain any second now.
Oh, how he wished it would rain.
He closed his eyes and pressed one palm against the Orb, feeling it pulse beneath his skin. He tried to quell the hurt there, taking in a steady breath. The Orb wasn’t really the problem anymore, but his soul. It ached in his chest, a thrum of anxiety wedged deep between his ribs.
Everything he was raised for—everything whispered to him, given, was all to come to an end. It was his fault, all of it.
He was already planning how to accomplish his task, even if he felt his fingers tremble upon his chest.
He would try and separate himself from the group—thinking on how to save them from himself. It wasn’t their fault, their sin. Gale would do everything and anything to see to their safety.
Everyone had all been so terribly gracious to him as it was. Even after learning his folly, they would go out their way to see that he received the magical item that would both quell the weave’s hunger and sate their pockets.
They shared their fire, food, laughter, and sometimes even their pain.
He was so terribly thankful.
He felt like such a burden.
Gale huffed a small laugh and rubbed his eyes, blinking away the burn he felt behind them. He had no right to cry about it. He was given a chance of redempti—
“Not getting all weepy, now, are we?” A silky voice asked, and Gale felt the anxiety bloom in his chest again, taking a moment to blink away the pain.
“Gods, Astarion,” Gale hissed at him, the vampire’s hands raised in the air, fingers spread wide. Astarion looked at him, his head cocking to the side curiously. His red eyes looked concerned—wary, even.
“Is it giving you hell? That thing on your chest?”
Gale looked up at him, nodding when Astarion gestured at the log to the left of him: may I?
“Not like it was,” is all Gale could say, looking away. Which was true. Mystra had given that one blessing, at least until he could finish his quest.
“You sound content, considering what has been asked of you. Or rather…demanded of you.” Astarion spoke, his words clear. Gale looked at him and Astarion’s red eyes pinned him there. He had a stiffness to his jaw he hadn’t before.
This was a glimpse to the man’s own hurt—one Gale had only been seen revealed to Tav a handful of times. Now, those too red eyes revealed something to him.
Gale took a short breath, looking up at the stars again. His brown eyes were glassy, reflecting the sky. “It’s no more than I deserve.”
Astarion tsked with a grimace, one corner of his upper lip lifting to reveal a very sharp canine. He started fiddling with a spot of something on the sleeve of his blouse, annoyed or nervous, Gale wasn’t sure.
“You deserve better than that. A God demanding yet another sacrifice…” Astarion trailed off, his eyes dimming, his fingers pausing on the spot.
“But if I hadn’t done what I had, I would still be—”
“Used,” Astarion finished for him, firm. Gale felt hot rage then. He stood up quickly and just stared at the vampire, brown meeting red.
He was so mad, but…
Astarion tilt his head, his eyes the softest Gale had yet to see them.
Pity?
Sympathy?
Understanding?
Gale looked away, his jaw tight.
“You know, before you go off stomping all dramatically, I want you to hear something,” The vampire started again, picking at the spot again, nervously.
“I don’t pity you, Gale of Waterdeep. I pity you only in the way that you are giving up so easily. In my time upon this wretched earth, crawling in the dirt and all the shit of the world, I prayed to many a God. None of them answered. Your goddess answered too pointedly. She’s hiding something, I know it. I’ve lived it.”
Astarion’s eyes trembled with deep hurt and endless rage. A muscle in his jaw jumped, like he was grinding his teeth.
“You don’t give up, you go kicking, or I’ll kick your ass before you even get the chance to blow yourself up.”
Gale huffed a laugh at that, his eyes stinging again. Out of everyone, he never thought that Astarion would be the one to tell him to think of any other way, and not so soon after Tav.
“Thank you, Astarion,” Gale said, gently, watching him with a small sad smile. The vampire was already looking stiff—uncomfortable, like he’d revealed too much. “Truly. Honestly, I thought you didn’t like me, but I want you to know that I really appreciate the kindness you have shown me.”
“Kindness,” Astarion focused upon, mulling the word in his mouth, like it tasted awful.
“Yes,” Gale told him, a twinkle in his eye. “I won’t say more, as I know this is a territory that is making you literally squirm in your seat but…thank you.”
Astarion blinked up at him, unsure what to do with himself. His mask had fallen, revealing a very lost creature that hid behind his usual facade. Gale sighed and, very gently, pressed a feather-light touch on his stiff shoulder as he passed him.
“Sleep well, Astarion. I hope you found a nice enough dinner. I won’t forget this and hope to return it in kind.”
What kind, Gale kept to himself.
Astarion could only blink at the open space before him, the spot where Gale had touched feeling too warm. When he finally could turn around, Gale was already in his tent. Astarion’s eyes flicked back and forth, the vampire swallowing thickly.
“I don’t dislike you,” Astarion told the night, his eyes glassy. A few raindrops fell then, and he blinked up into the sky, a few more drops running down his cold cheek.
✦I waited for days for your voice to answer to me,
I don't wait up for days for your voice to answer to me no more...✦
#c'est la vie no. 2 by phosphorescent is to blame for this#and I needed a break from papers#literally just a free flow ramble#my writing#bloodweave#gale dekarios#gale of waterdeep#astarion#bg3#baldur's gate 3#bg3 fic#bg3 ramble#both these characters can go in my pocket and I will protect them forever thanks#mystra hate club
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"Aziraphale would have confessed his feelings first if Metatron didn't give him a job offer"
OKAY BUT YOU ARE NOT UNDERSTANDING ME, CORRECT, EXCEPT HE DID CONFESS
Aziraphale is an angel who more than anything loves God/Heaven and Crowley. He loves more things (his bookshop, human food, books, classical music, etc) but the things he loves more than life itself is heaven and Crowley
And so, often, those 2 loves would contradict each other. His bond to Heaven told him that all Demons were evil and wrong, that demons shouldn't be trusted. And his bond to Crowley told him everything Heaven said was wrong, or in some capacity was wrong. It took years (literally hundreds if not thousands) for Aziraphale to find a rhythm that worked best
Aziraphale KNEW Crowley wouldn't want heaven back, and he also knew heaven wouldn't want Crowley back. He respected both of those wishes and cared deeply for both still. He knew what Heaven did to Crowley was unfair, and knew heaven was sometimes wrong (season 1) but to him, that doesn't make Heaven as a whole wrong, only flawed
He also knew Crowley had done some not very nice things as a demon, that he didn't agree with. Again, that doesn't mean Crowley was wrong, just that he had some flaws
And so when given the opportunity, to fix Heaven's flaws, in the way that is proper, why would Aziraphale not take it? For 6000 years he had the 2 sides of his heart fighting over what is right, (and who/what is right, Crowley or Heaven). But NOW? He can fix Heaven, none of those Angels in charge before knew anything, they hadn't been to earth, they hadn't felt human emotions, they didn't understand TRUE good and bad, didn't understand what the colour grey meant.
This was proven by Gabriel CHANGING AS A CHARACTER COMPLETELY once he fell in love with Beelzebub. Gabriel in season 1 was for the war, was actively going against everything Aziraphale stood for. Gabriel wouldn't listen to Aziraphale, no matter how much he spoke about how the war is wrong. But then he did listen, because he felt love, and the love made Gabriel realise the fight was ridiculous, and unnecessary
So YES Aziraphale saw that since Gabriel left, there is only 1 Angel left who understands the complexity of right and wrong with humans. And even then, Aziraphale knows he doesn't FULLY understand it, he couldn't on his own. Because the reason he did understand it was because of Crowley
Never once did Aziraphale try to get Heaven to bring Crowley's angel status back, and never once did he try convincing Crowley to go back to Heaven (before all this anyway) because he KNEW Crowley would say no
Of course Crowley would say no to Heaven (run by Gabriel), why would he not, it was incredibly flawed and they casted Crowley out for no reason
But now? Heaven could be better. Could be fixed. By Aziraphale, and Crowley
And Aziraphale KNOWS Crowley didn't really "fall" or "become evil", and so to Aziraphale, Crowley becoming an angel again isn't a crazy idea
Especially not when Crowley is exactly what Aziraphale pictures when he thinks of what an Angel should be. Crowley cares, Crowley trusts, Crowley does things for no other reason than to be kind. Crowley is the perfect angel to Aziraphale
SO, Aziraphale saying to Crowley "Come to heaven, come recreated heaven with me" IS a love confession. It's him saying "You are my everything, you are everything right in the world. I would never dare suggest you should forgive heaven, but heaven was wrong, we both know that, but you and I both know you were the perfect angel and still are. Heaven created by you will be the true heaven"
It's Aziraphale saying "I have loved you and Heaven for thousands of years, and never once asked either of you to change. Today, I want Heaven to change as it is wrong, I want it to change, and I want it to change to become perfect for you. I want it to realise that punishing you was wrong. I want Heaven to be completely different because I love you, and you deserve so much better than to be treated as you have been for these 6000 years. I have seen what Hell does, and I have seen what Heaven does. And I have the opportunity to fix one, and you are what inspires me to do so. You helped me see the flaws, loving you is the reason heaven gets to be better"
AND I KNOW CROWLEY DOESN'T UNDERSTAND THIS, AND IT HURTS, BUT STOP SAYING AZIRAPHALE DIDN'T CONFESS FIRST BECAUSE ALTHOUGH HE DIDN'T SAY I LOVE YOU, HE MAY FUCKING HAVE
thank you for coming to my tedtalk
#this doesnt flow at all#and i kept thinking new things and forgetting where i was going#so i am so sorry for that#BUT FUCK OFF IF YOU THINK THIS WASNT SOME FORM OF CONFESSION#dont get me STARTED on “nothing lasts forever”#BECAUSE IF YOU THINK THAT IS ANYTHING OTHER THAN AZIRAPHALE TALKING ABOUT BEING IMMORTAL WITH CROWLEY#you are wrong#i dont care who you are you could be neil himself and you would be wrong (/j)#these immortal beings are idiots and terrible at communication#feel free to tell me if you think i am wrong#i welcome all disagreements but draw the line at aziraphale slander#i will defend his actions until i die#chr post#good omens#good omens 2#good omens season 2#go2#good omens s2#good omens spoilers#good omens analysis#good omens s2 spoilers#go2 spoilers#go2e6#good omens season 2 spoilers#long post#aziraphale has religious trauma and we all know it#this is a mess and a late night ramble so its all over the place#crowley#aziraphale
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the most wholesome thing is seeing that the wholesome post blog runner is probably one of the nicest people ever :3 i’m generally Terrified of sending asks especially to a blog that Does Things like this but seeing you talk in the tags instead of just reblogging and moving on makes you seem very friendly and approachable !!!! and i hope u know i appreciate that :] i hope you have a wonderful day and both sides of your pillow are always cool and that if you see a random cat on the sidewalk it won’t run away from U ♡
woah, META-WHOLESOME!! thank ya for the compliment, i try my best to carry out those kinds of traits i value!!!!! i’m SUPER super glad that ya did!!! THANK YOU THANK U!! always appreciating how much of an impact this lil blog has on top of appreciating u for sharing as much with me :-)
it’s always a TRIP getting to hear that something i do that i wasn’t even really mindfully doing makes all the difference?? i’m just really, REALLY grateful for all the different kinds of posts that get sent my way and seeing cool + uplifting + sentimental + OVERALL WHOLESOME posts that i express my thanks + ramble a bit in the tags haha !!
i ALSO hope you have as terrific of a day as you’re able to! and i hope you’ll enjoy seeing more posts pop up!
AND YOU’LL NEVER BELIEVE but i got new pillow cases like a week ago THAT DO JUST THAT! AND THERE’S A NEW CAT ON THE STREET WHO HANGS OUT WITH ME SOMETIMES (i’ve been planning to see if he has a microchip, but i know for a fact that the neighbors who feed all the stray cats on our street already have a cage + are well-versed in TNR, so i’ve been thinking about asking them first because the thought that someone could be out there looking for their pal is enough for me to “do it scared”) !! SO THANK U NOT ONLY FOR THE SWEET SENTIMENTS BUT ALSO FOR THE UNEXPECTED HILARITY OVER THE FACT THAT THEY’VE COME TRUE???
#and i get it!! running a gimmick blog (as i’ve heard it be described) is v v different from the other blogs i’ve got going!!#ik i’ve said it in the past but i genuinely think what makes for the lack of ambiance is the fact that i didn’t really? start this blog out#as a gimmick blog in mind?? it was kind of just for me to ‘archive’ Solidly Wholesome posts in one place#by the dates i saw/read through them + let them flow over me. because there’s already a timestamp ya know?#but the Vision was that i’d go through this blog + see that a year ago on a particular day was Important#which is still something i do when i have the the time BUT now i ALSO get sent wholesome posts!!! which WOAH#became a collective effort whether you’ve mentioned me in one post or climbing up to the triple digits now haha!!! i appreciate them all#TRULY :-)#and i’ll also admit that i don’t really remember if i kept the ask + submission channels open because i thought ‘hey maybe i’ll get one#or two someday from someone?’ or if i kinda forgot to close ‘em because i think i only block Anonymous automatically for all the blogs#i’ve got?? THAT will probs be a mystery for a long time to come if not forever BUT am glad it’s all worked out in ways i never saw coming!!#also APOLOGIES FOR NOT ONLY RAMBLING IN THE TAGS BUT THE ASK!!#Apple Pie is defs a priority for me rn and i’ve done some research + talked to my neighbors about TNR being the best bet in our area#last we spoke anyhow which was some time ago#also my parents apparently got into taking stray cats to a TNR program a few cities over so i’ll ask ‘em too probably???#BUT FIRST THING’S FIRST: checking for a microchip#10/13/2023#asks#wholesomepostarchive
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She’s truly wonderful~
Duke Windermere was pretty good, emotional and impactful enough. Figures that happened but damn.
However yes the Darknights Trio +1 having a moment of horror-comedy is phenomenally funny.
That poor little Nissan Cube… hahahaha
#arknights#w hours#same#just like me fr forever#same fucken wavelength#go girl#w mode is the best addition here#becoming aware of your own blood flow is a quite fucked-up sensation yeah
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Me: I can see my fictional world and how I imagine everything looks inside it :D
Paper: Great describe it!
Me: >:(
#what do you mean you can just interact with the silly little characters#why can’t I just grab your hand and take you there so you can see what I see#unfair! let’s all just go on a field trip#I promise world building is happening it’s just taking forever and I’m worried it’s disrupting the flow
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y'all i'm doing so well at being an adult, just ignore the inner dread i feel that's just part of life right?
#fr tho i'm doing very well i think#if only The Thoughts of being nothing and worthless and constantly doing the wrong thing weren't haunting silly lil meee :33333#but hey i've been able to have actual conversations and good connections so that's sth!#johnny's silly rambles#also i realised i've not uploaded a poem in forever#i need to.#fr i'm going insane i think#i've started three in that time but they wouldn't flow really
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writing the next chapter for my fic and I've just read all that I have so far and im GIGGLING. barty you are down bad. also reg is being funny
#marauders#ao3 fanfic#rosekiller#girling#girlblogging#barty crouch jr#regulus black#writing#forever going with the flow
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I'm not into feet sexually, but a lot of my friends are so if you ever wonder why I draw bare feet Like That well... *points to the crowd* For all my foot warriors out there ✌️
#textpost#I'm an arms/hands guy. 3 second glimpse at any of my Sol drawings should make that super super super obvious imo#The entire arm. I saw a diagram of how the arm muscles weave together like synchronized flowing ribbons into the upper body-#-at a formative age and it changed me forever#Also the serratus anterior and the way those muscles connect up into the armpit area... 10/10#Ok I need to go to sleep now enjoy this rare Sol Radguy TMI? fun fact
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🌺 Ok one for the new kid! Kasander likes animals but keeps their distance from them, on account of not trusting the Urges
6/10 on average, I think, spiking to a 10 depending on recency of the last Incident. Kasander really loves animals and is someone who talks to them a lot, and they struggle to balance that with the precautions that would keep other creatures safe. In the end it's the same way with their companions- they could easily hurt or kill one of them by mistake, but they still travel with others. They're learning themself better all the time, and they hope that will help them have a better sense of when it's about to take them and they need to get away. They withdraw much more completely when something has gone wrong recently though. It's hard to maintain that optimism when the strategy has just failed.
[headcanon prompt]
#thank you for thinking of them <3#I think kasander has a way of managing the urge that's very high risk high reward compared to how asperia does it.#asperia feeds it very frequently at some low level (better not to think about that relationship with animals)#and by always leaning in and going with the flow they're not getting swept away. there's some direction to it and less total loss of contro#it helps that asperia (like most of the others) has very little empathy. kas couldn't do that.#kasander is much better at blocking it out completely for periods but has absolutely no control over it as a result#it's not really possible to block it out forever though. it's a lot more sustainable to let asperia take charge of it sometimes#but kasander is stubborn even when they're getting along.#now let's see if the xkit autotag thingy works. I wanna see.#kasander#ask game#emi plays bg3#EDIT: IT DID NOT.#arendaes#ask me emithing
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Why am I suddenly thinking about a butler!SE Saeran/princess Natasha au.......
#mia babbles#god this might be my next fic after i finish my current one for a different fandom#i have..... thoughts......#natasha treating him as an equal and a friend despite her status#saeran knowing things about her that nobody knows because he is always by her side#and yet they are miles apart#her feeling so trapped in her life with people who never accepted the real her#feeling like she will never be accepted or loved for who she truly is - forever stuck upholding the status forced upon her#like there is something inherently wrong with her#and saeran who has given up on his life and is just going with the flow apathetically#he knows his place in life and he doesn't care anymore to be angry or upset about it#he just does his job#he is assigned to her since he is good at what he does - he is expected to keep her in check#but they end up relating to each other in a way neither of them expected#the fleeting touches... the hidden glances... OUGH#thinking of him doing her hair and tying her corset around her waist#his fingertips ghosting over her skin in a way that probably no one but him has done#a forbidden thought that they both stiffle as soon as it appears#GOD I AM FOAMING AT THE MOUTH
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i'm not really one to post snippets but... you know, since i'm unlikely to publish any of this anyway... i was going back through my fics and i am thoroughly charmed by how much i forgot i wrote. in about two minutes i'm going to forget i'm a fine writer and i enjoy my work again but for now i'm riding the high... such is life
#i'm particularly pleased with the second one because i remember writing the entire fic in a twenty minute sprint and assuming it sucked and#never looking at it again. but it's fine surprisingly. third one is the same i got a lot done that day#having a lot of writing experience is really just accumulating a bunch of similes and metaphors you can whip out easily and knowing how to#balance action narration internal external observation feeling without thinking. maybe writing poetry helps. i really like rhythm and flow#and making sentences end in a way where if you read them aloud it's almost like they're rhyming#i'm not trying to praise myself i'm just thinking#but you know what? i should praise myself. good job sunny#you did it. you're happy with your work again. you stopped having the crazy unhealthy social media feelings#you are comfortable with yourself even with everything that's happened and everything you're still afraid of a little bit#and you never stopped writing about murder and insane unshowable things 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏#everything is going to be okay i love ME and AUTUMN and MOONIE#wow i'm really just rambling to myself in the tags of a post where i feel good about myself 🤣 how cringe. how silly#but i will be cringe forever and weird and shedding the skin of my shame 😌#i'm also listening to kurzgesagt soundtracks right now and thinking about the vastness of the universe#and how small i am and how none of this really matters and yet it's so beautiful and that just has me feeling some kind of way#🌃#miraculous ladybug#ml fanfic
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