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#for those of you who don’t know them they’re an acapella band.
iced-souls · 2 years
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You know Christmas is comin when the pentatonix Christmas album starts playin in my household.
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veilchenjaeger · 4 years
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Can you recommend some good german music? And who are the artists that get played too much on the radio?
This is also for @yardstick-is-cool (whom I can’t tag for some reason), who asked for German music as well.
Disclaimer: My music taste is vague at best and I have no idea which artists have been deemed “cringy” by the general German public, partially because I emphatically don’t care.
For German music I like:
The most obvious recommendation is Die Ärzte. If you like sarcastic songs with a punk vibe and political messages (x), but also fun songs about Sylt (x), check them out. Favourite use of the German language: “Du hast nie gelernt dich artizukulieren” (You never learnt how to express yourself) in Stummer Schrei nach Liebe, which underlines the meaning of the sentence with a sexy piece of intentionally incorrect grammar - it should be “dich zu artikulieren”.
I always really liked Wir Sind Helden, because they work with this language so well. If you like lyrics you have to think about and tons of nice wordplay, they’re the band for you. They have political songs (x), cute songs (x), sad songs (x), and songs that make you think a lot (x). Favourite use of the German language: “Täglich rede ich mir mein Leben aus U-Bahnfahrplaneinzelpunkten” (Pretty much untranslatable, but vaguely means “Every day, I narrate my life to myself based on single points on subway timetables”) in Stiller, which features a very nice compound word that doesn’t technically exist - but when has that ever stopped the German language.
I won’t pretend to know anything about Deutschrap (German rap), but Sookee has been recommended to me as someone who does actually good, leftist, queer Deutschrap. (Backstory: A lot of Deutschrap is pretty misogynistic and drenched in macho vibes, which is why it has a pretty bad rep in Germany. Not all of it though; there’s good stuff.) Since I have yet to listen to Sookee’s entire discography, I can’t recommend a lot of songs, but do check out this one (x) about screaming internally as right-wing parties rise in popularity and centrist parties play along.
Another good Deutschrap song that drags gender norms three times around Troy, rec (just like Sookee) courtesy of @let-me-choke-on-alibis: (x)
If you like stuff with a club music vibe that is packed with social criticism as soon as you listen to the lyrics, check out Deichkind, especially those songs that everyone used to sing when I was in middle school, featuring criticism of egoistic consumerism (x) and capitalist work ethic, a.k.a. “Be productive even if it kills you”, complete with a dig at Trump made in 2012 (x).
I just found out that Fettes Brot made a song about queer history (x), which convinces me to put them on this list, also because this song (x) about desensitisation to the horrible things in the world remains iconic, and as a Nordlicht, I am contractually obliged to rec Nordisch By Nature (x), which you should absolutely listen to if you’re studying German, because it features the lesser known Northern German dialects as well as Plattdeutsch, which is a language (Not a dialect!) spoken in parts of Northern Germany.
If you just want to listen to fun music, there’s Annett Louisan. I haven’t listened to her in ages so I have no idea what she does nowadays, but this (x) is hilarious and she’s right about this one (x) about people just being contrary without knowing anything about what they’re disagreeing with. And of course the iconic Siezgelegenheit (x) about the inherent eroticism of Siezen.
For more fun songs, check out the Wise Guys, a band who only does acapella and has a lot of fun with the German language. I don’t like all of their lyrics, but I love the funny songs they make. There’s one about IKEA (x), one about the Deutsche Bahn that is absolutely iconic and so accurate (x), and the song everyone who is studying German should print out as a challenge to find all the (intentional) grammatical errors, which ironically is about a German teacher (x).
More artists that aren’t super well known but were recommended to me, that I however don’t know very well, are AnnenMayKantereit and Von Wegen Lisbeth.
And of course you have to listen to THE song of the German climate movement (x).
Now for what’s on the radio:
I’m already tired and haven’t even started this section yet. I feel like at least half of these artists have a song about “I’m coming back to my home town to hang out with my old friends and feel nostalgic although I’m 25″.
Tim Bendzko
Sportfreunde Stiller
Mark Forster
Andreas Bourani
Clueso
Cro (who has some fun songs, not gonna lie)
Sometimes there’s Silbermond, but never the good songs
Ich + Ich/Adel Tawil (who is or was stuck in Egypt due to Corona apparently and is pretty fun if you see him live; I hope he’s alright)
Sido (ever since he stopped making really bad Deutschrap and started making mediocre Deutschrap about the time when he was making really bad Deutschrap)
Namika
I’m not saying that these artists are bad, or that all of their songs are boring. I’m saying that they all make the same kind of music, with slight variations, and largely focus on the same topics, at least when it comes to their songs that are on the radio. There’s already close to no variety in the English songs German radio plays, but it’s somehow even worse with German artists. It’s less that I dislike these artists and more that there IS a lot of variety in German music that isn’t reflected at all by what’s on the radio.
(There usually are some songs by the artists in the first list on the radio as well, and some of them are very well known, but considering HOW well known some of them are, I don’t hear nearly enough of them when I listen to the radio, while I have to sit through at least 5 Mark Forster or whoever the fuck songs every single time I turn on NDR.)
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thomasandhissides · 4 years
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Forbidden Fruit- Part 2
ao3 | part 1 | part 2 | Part 3
Roman laughed as he walked off stage, turning to Logan as soon as they were out of view of the crowd.
“Holy shit,” Roman pushed his sweat soaked hair off his forehead. “It feels so good to be performing again. And we’re getting interviewed tonight!” He was giddy off of adrenaline and excitement. “How cool is that?” Logan smiled at his friend as they walked back to the dressing to the room to get prepared for their upcoming interview.
“I will admit it is cool until the reporter turns into an asshole and asks the dumb questions,” Logan said, shooting finger guns.
“You know they’re going to,” Roman rolled his eyes as he pulled his damp shirt off, tossing it off to the side. “You think Remus will be watching?” He asked softly as he grabbed a new shirt, pulling it on. “I mean, it’s not like I care if he does or not. You know what, it was a dumb question.” He shook his head as he changed into a new pair of jeans.
“I don’t think it’s dumb,” Logan protested, “He’s your only brother. And your only family.” He pointed out as he watched his friend pace the room.
“No he’s not,” Roman scoffed, sitting on the edge of the makeup counter. “I’ve got you. We both know you’re a better brother to me than that deadbeat.”
“The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb I guess.” Logan recited uncomfortably, shifting his weight from foot to foot.
“Exactly,” Roman smiled, glad Logan was at least playing along. “I’ve got everything I need in this room. Anyways, enough of that. Get changed, we’ve got an interview soon. I want us to look good.” Logan let out a heavy sigh and nodded.
Roman smiled as him and Logan stood in front of the camera, a reporter with them getting ready for the interview. Logan stood next to him, face solemn as the reporter asked his questions.
“So Roman, you took a six month hiatus from performing,” The reporter started. Logan looked at Roman with a ‘you know where this is going look.’ 
“That we did,” Roman nodded with his response. Their interviewer smiled as he prepared for his next question.
“What happened to Remus?” The reporter stared expectantly. Logan’s eyes widened and he looked to Roman, almost wanting to take over the question himself.
“He left due to… personal reasons,” Roman shrugged. “Not really my place to say what those reasons were. In all honesty, I’m glad he left.” Logan’s jaw dropped and he glared at Roman.
“Why would you say something like that Roman?” He hissed under his breath so only Roman could hear him.
“Was the personal reason you, Roman? After all rumors have been surfacing…”the reporter instigated. Roman rolled his eyes.
“Oh they’re just that, rumors,” He shook his head. “Why would I make my dear brother leave the band?”
“So he didn’t leave because of you calling him, and I quote ‘disgusting and filthy,’ not to mention ‘unpredictable and loud’?” Roman paused as the memories of the argument came flooding back.
“Absolutely not,” Roman snapped, crossing his arms. He was starting to get pissed off now. He relaxed a little when Logan rested a loving hand on his shoulder.
“Either ask questions that matter or we’re done here,” Logan defended, squeezing Roman’s shoulder lightly.
“WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!” Roman screamed, slamming the door behind Logan.
“Roman, please, calm down,” Logan begged in an attempt to defuse the ticking time bomb that was Roman’s anger.
“Calm down? Calm down?! That reporter had exact quotes from our argument. You and I both know who tipped him off. That incel is trying to ruin me!” Roman screamed.
“Roman, with all due respect, that is probably the stupidest thing you’ve ever come to the conclusion of,” Logan deadpanned, crossing his arms. “While I don’t disagree that the source was Remus, you don’t actually believe he wants to ruin your career, do you?”
“After I swore I would make it big. He said ‘We’ll see about that’ Logan. You think too highly of him.” Roman screamed, slamming his hands on the table.”
“Clearly you don’t know about the conversation I had with him before he left,” Logan wasn’t the least bit phased by Roman’s outburst of anger, they had been happening a lot more often recently. “He didn’t want to leave, I can tell you that. You were too hard on him.”
“If you keep siding with him, you can join him,” Roman sneered venomously, an evil glint in his eye. Now that had an effect on Logan. He crossed his arms over his chest and glared at Roman.
“I’m not siding with anyone. I’m simply stating facts. Your brother cares about you, you were too hard on the kid, and you’re acting like a bratty baby. Now knock it off,” Logan really felt like a dad chastising a particularly stubborn toddler.
“We need a new member,” Roman said after taking a breath to calm himself.
“You’re right about that,” Logan agreed with a nod. “And I think I have the perfect candidate.”
____
“Look at his face,” Janus cackled, watching Roman on TV. Remus laughed as he hopped on the couch next to Janus, bringing his cigarette to his lips.
“This is probably the best idea you’ve ever gone through with,” He took a hit and blew the smoke into the air, knocking the ashes off into a nearby ashtray. “I’m loving this.”
“Look at this buffoon lying through his teeth,” Janus rolled his eyes, “Someone should really knock him down a peg.” Remus nodded in agreement as he watched his brother through the screen.
“That’s why you’re here,” He chuckled. “Look at him making a fool of himself. Surely put him in his place.”
“You know what would also hurt him? Stealing the Battle of the Bands Award from him,” Janus looked suggestively. Remus smirked and nodded.
“That’s exactly what we’re going to do. There’s no way he’s gonna win. Have you heard their recent stuff? They were so much better with me,” He leaned against his friend with an evil grin. 
“I still have to convince our last member to join us,” Janus groaned, pushing Remus off of him.
“Why haven’t you introduced him yet?” Remus pouted, straightening his shirt as he was shoved off with a pout. “I wanna meet the kid.”
“Because we actually want him to join us,” Janus said sarcastically as a knock rang throughout the apartment. Remus pouted, mocking Janus as he got up to answer the door.
“Behave,” Janus warned Remus as he opened the door.
“I thought I had the wrong address for a minute,” Virgil laughed nervously, wrapping his hoodie around himself protectively.
“Nope we just live in the ghetto,” Remus shouted, earning a glare from Janus.
“Glad to know,” Virgil muttered, walking inside all the way when Janus stepped aside. “Is this the guy you were talking about, Jan?”
“Yep this is the trash man,” Janus said ironically. Virgil let out a soft laugh at the insult thrown towards Remus.
“I hope he’s not as bad as you describe him,” He looked towards Remus. “I’m Virgil.” He introduced himself.
“He’s worse,” Janus muttered. “Remus, manners.” He warned before Remus could even open his mouth.
“Why don’t we just get to the point?” Remus groaned.Janus shot him a threatening look before leading Virgil to the couch. Virgil sat on the couch and looked between the two band members expectantly. 
“We want to start a band and try for the Battle of the Band Award.” Janus confessed, “For that, we need a new member and we hoped you would help us with that.” Virgil sat there in silence for a second, trying to process their request.
“What exactly would be my part?” Virgil bit his lip, a nervous habit. “I’m not exactly talented.” He shrugged. “I guess I can play guitar.” 
“You just need to play guitar and look hot. Back me up here dude,” Remus said, looking to Janus for support.
“You’re the perfect addition,” Janus shrugged, doing his best to sound supportive. He didn’t want to scare him off yet. “We need a guitarist.”
“What’s in it for me?” Virgil looked away.
“I don’t know, an infinite amount of dick?” Remus responded.
 Virgil seemed to ponder on the request before nodding.
“I’ll do it,” Virgil agreed.
“Perfect,” Janus smirked. “We have a gig in two days. I’ll send you the music.”
_____
“What are we doing here?” Roman asked as the two entered a concert. There were only a few people there and the lights showed a pale blue color, “I thought we were meeting the new band member.”
“We are,” Logan shushed him. “Just be patient, trust me. He’s good.” He motioned towards the stage. “He’s real underground but I’ve met him a few times, he’s talented.”
“If he’s so talented, why did we come after the performance?” Roman asked. Logan let out a soft chuckle and turned to his friend.
“He’s debuted a new song tonight and I told him we’d be here,” He stated as if it were the simplest thing in the world. “It was sold out, I wouldn’t have been able to get us in so he said to come after and he’ll sing a little sample for you to hear.”
“Well, let’s meet him.” Roman said, gesturing Logan to lead the way. Logan nodded as he brought Roman closer to the stage.
“Hey Pat,” He said to get the attention of the man on the stage. He turned and his smile seemed to light up his whole face at the sight of Logan.
“Logan! You made it,” He smiled and moved towards them, sitting on the edge of the stage.
“This is Patton,” Logan introduced, looking at Roman.
“Pleasure to meet you. I heard you were quite a performer,” Roman complimented, smiling at the young man. Patton flushed red and nodded, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.
“I guess you could say that,” He smiled. “I made sure they left the mics on so you get the full experience. If you still want me to perform for you guys.” Logan nodded quickly.
“Of course we do, let’s hear it,” Logan took a step back, crossing his arms.
“Break a leg,” Roman smirked, taking a seat at the table in front of the stage. Logan sat down next to him and looked up at Patton.
Patton took a deep breath and stood, picking up the mic that was placed haphazardly on the ground. He let out a soft sigh and closed his eyes for a moment to calm his nerves.
“I hope it’s okay I have to sing this acapella, the music crew is iffy about staying after,” He laughed nervously.
“I don’t mind. Truth be told even I started singing acapella in my room.” Roman smiled warmly. Patton flushed and nodded.
Treat this like any other performance. Patton thought to himself. It’s just your cute friend and his bandmate that you have to impress. No big deal. 
Patton’s voice started out soft, hardly noticeable if it wasn’t for the microphone amplifying his voice. As the first notes slipped from his mouth, Roman watched with a shocked expression. He was good. Really good. The emotion and passion in Patton’s voice almost brought Roman to tears with the emollient tone. When it was over, Roman couldn’t help but stand while clapping his hands, smiling.
“You were exquisite Patton! You have a gift not many people have with your voice and emotion.” Roman complimented, coming up to the stage. Patton couldn’t suppress his smile and he hopped off the side to stand face to face with them. He was a good bit shorter than Roman and had to look up slightly to look him in the eye.
“You really think so?” He played with his hands. “I-I’d love to join you guys.”
“We start tomorrow,” Roman smiled.
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blouisparadise · 5 years
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Upon request, here is a rec list of fics where Harry and Louis fight or argue over the course of the fic. While there is at least a small argument between them in the vast majority of fics, we tried to narrow this list down to include fics where there’s either a larger fight or a bunch of smaller ones. Happy reading!
1) Forever, Uninterrupted | Explicit | 8578 words
Harry finds a mysterious picture in Louis' bag one night and drives himself crazy over it. It's definitely not what he thinks. An excuse to write Harry in rut, because there's already so many heat fics out there.
2) Poppies In May | Explicit | 9457 words
And maybe he deserves it, Louis thinks bitterly. His hand curls around the fence tightly, and he feels like if he lets go he’ll slid onto the cold ground and never fucking get up again. Maybe standing here, staring at Harry’s hunched over, retreating back is what he deserves.
3) 3B Neighbor | Explicit | 10407 words
A mysterious neighbour keeps slipping the worst sort of notes under Harry's door.
4) Rather This Than Live Without You | Explicit | 10715 words
Harry decides to give it all up. Louis refuses to be left behind.
5) We Should Get Jerseys | Mature | 12147 words
Harry is a hockey player, and Louis is his slightly melodramatic boyfriend.
6) No Bleeding Hearts | Explicit | 12651 words
“I’m going to come out,” Louis says abruptly. His grip on the controller is tight, knuckles whitening. He doesn’t look at Harry when he says it.
“What?” Harry says. Louis sucks in a breath through his teeth.
“When we re-negotiate our contracts. I’m going to come out.” Harry fumbles with the controller and manages to set it down on coffee table without cracking it in half.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Harry says. Louis is still pointedly not looking at him.
“I’m not having this argument with you again, Harry,” Louis tells him. He leans forward and deposits his own controller on the table beside Harry’s before standing up. “I’m gonna go to the hotel.”
7) Know You Got That Thing (That I Like) | Explicit | 15798 words
Note: This fic has a BH mention.
In all the ways he thought about their reunion going, watching Louis finger himself open was not on the list.
8) Wait For Me (To Come Home) | Explicit |  16066 words
A future fic of time stamps where Louis finally comes to grips with a love he'd denied for too long.
9) My English Love Affair | Explicit | 19198 words
The thing about sleeping with a member of a famous indie band is that the inevitability of having a song written about you is most likely a hundred percent. The second thing is that in the end, nobody's supposed to find out it's about you.
The one where Harry writes a song about his English love affair and Louis sleeps with someone in White Eskimo and all he gets is a stupid song written about him.
10) Dance Like Warriors On A Battlefield | Explicit | 20083 words
Down in the arena, the triumphant gladiator places his foot on the back of the loser, holding him there as he waits for instruction on his next move. Kill or let live. It’s barbaric, really, the bloodlust involved in this sport. Louis is pretty sure that if it wasn’t for his distaste for the killing there would be a lot more blood soaking that sand.
As it is, his father rarely gives the kill order anymore. He gives the order to let the loser live. Louis rolls his eyes, turning away. He doesn’t miss the way the gladiator’s eyes linger on him.
11) Up To No Good | Explicit | 26525 words | Sequel #1 | Sequel #2
Harry doesn’t think of himself as a womanizer, not at all. Sure, he enjoys sex, enjoys how women feel underneath him, and by some people’s standards he has sex with quite a lot of people, but that’s no reason to tell him that he can’t have a female PA anymore.
It’s especially no excuse for giving him a male PA who’s possibly the most gorgeous boy in the world who won’t even let Harry look at him for too long.
Sometimes Harry hates his life.
12) All The Lights are Full Of Colour | Explicit | 26727 words
So, fast-forwarding eight years from the day Harry met Louis, he is now a twenty-seven year old owner of one of the most up-and-coming eating establishments on the London restaurant scene, father of two wonderful boys and… separated from his husband. Now, that last part definitely was never a part of the original plan.
13) Time Out | Explicit | 27539 words
Harry and Louis are perfect for each other.
Everybody knows it.
They know it, their friends know it, everybody knows it.
That's why Zayn, Liam and Niall won't let them get away with breaking up.
No chance in hell.
14) Carnelian | Explicit | 30631 words
Louis finds himself donating blood to the most beautiful being he’s ever seen.
15) Where The Lights Are Beautiful | Mature | 31170 words | Sequel
The accidental bonding a/b/o fic. 
16) Close To Nowhere | Explicit | 34589 words
Louis and Harry are psychics who kind of hate each other. They go to Tennessee to investigate a haunting.
17) No Matter Where You Are (No Matter How Far) | Explicit | 35799 words
An Everest AU where Louis sets out to climb the tallest mountain on the world and meets a curly-haired guy named Harry who worms his way into Louis’s life. It’s not long before reaching the summit becomes the least of Louis’s worries. 
18) The Things I’d Do To Wake Up Next To You | Mature | 36019 words
AU. Harry wakes up to a pregnant Louis Tomlinson and a wedding band on his finger.
19) Bloodsport | Explicit | 40283 words
“You know how our next game is against the Cardinals, right? You remember how vicious those guys can get. I wanted us to come up with some plays, maybe work on a block from the left--” Louis stops when he hears a chuckle. He doesn’t think he’s said anything particularly funny, so he turns to Harry, waiting for an explanation. "‘S funny, ‘s all.” Harry throws his finished bottle somewhere near the other discarded ones. “This is the first time you’re talking to me in eight months, and it’s still about football.”
20) The Sweetest Incantation | Explicit | 40598 words
Harry is a witch who's still working on developing his powers and Louis is a werecat who falls into his life and turns it upside down. 
21) Falling Into Place | Explicit | 40754 words
Louis and Harry spend nine years apart but inevitably find their way back to each other.                        
22) Another Hazy May | Explicit | 41043 words
Louis is a terrible poet and Harry lives in the now and they have six weeks to fall in love but, really, it only takes six seconds. Bookshop meets military meets summer romance AU ft. Malboros, the Backstreet Boys, and underrated literary devices.
23) Show Me Life Like I’ve Never Seen | Mature | 42953 words
Louis never expected to leave the small art studio three blocks down from his job with anything besides the painting he caught a glimpse of and simply couldn't forget.
24) Can I Not Like You For A While? | Explicit | 43346 words
Louis Tomlinson is awful. Harry is just as difficult, and they’re both terrible to each other. It makes being in the same acapella group together quite complicated. 
25) Just A Feeling | Explicit | 43977 words
Note: This fic is a sequel to this fic.
The first time that Harry thinks about marriage in relation to Louis, he’s eighteen years old, standing in the middle of a crowded frat house, six drinks down and another in his hand.
It’s not the first time that he’s laid eyes on Louis. It’s not even the second time, or the third time, but Harry doesn’t believe in denying what his brain is trying to tell him, and his brain has been telling him that Louis might be the prettiest person in the world ever since that first fateful meeting, when Harry hadn’t been able to stop looking and Louis had ‘accidentally’ spilled his tea all over Harry’s lap in retaliation.
26) Love's Truest Language | Explicit | 48193 words
“I don't want your flowers.” Louis chided before directing all of his attention to the arrangement in front of him. Harry laughed under his breath as he stood to his full height, “Who said anything about them being for you, love?”
27) Tug-Of-War | Explicit | 55475 words
Louis' husband dies suddenly and he is left with nothing. Well, not really nothing. He has Harry. And a St. Bernard puppy named Link, whom his late husband left behind for him. Louis takes care of Link and Harry takes care of Louis. Everything is okay until suddenly, it isn't. 
28) Into The Midnight Sun | Explicit | 63523 words
It's 1983, Harry embarks on his first world tour and Louis is a budding actor in LA. Life spent apart isn't easily adjustable, but somehow they make it work.
29) Why Can't It Be Like That | Explicit | 63567 words
A fashion AU with a royal twist, where Louis doesn't need a stylist, Harry's thrilled to have a real life Barbie doll, and they're both very wrong about each other.
30) Perfect Storm | Explicit | 80230 words
What do you do when your best friend asks you and your (now) ex to be the best men at his destination wedding? You can either tell him the truth, tell him you’re not together anymore, and deal with the consequences, or you can pretend you’re still together and roll with it, just pray you don’t spiral. Fake it ‘til you make it. You know, for the sake of the wedding. Harry and Louis choose the latter.  ��
31) Pinkies Never Lie | Explicit | 83615 words | Sequel
AU in which Louis hates his job and loves Harry, Harry just wants a distraction, everyone else wants them to get their shit together, and Louis learns the hard way that new beginnings are only possible when something ends.
32) I Want You So Much (But I Hate Your Guts) | Mature | 83648 words
AU in which Louis gets accepted to play for the Manchester University Alpha-Beta Football Team. The only problem: Louis is actually an Omega. He is determined to make it big in the football world, though, and he can't do that bound to an Omega team. With the help of a faked doctor's certificate and some pretty strong suppressants he is ready to fight for his dream. That Harry Styles (Alpha, second year and youngest football captain of the A-B team in ages) doesn't seem to like him complicates matters, though.
33) Electing Strange Perfections | Explicit | 84757 words
Back for the summer from university, 19-year-old Louis is faced with a massive problem: their new gardener is quite possibly the most gorgeous man he's ever met. Over the course of the summer, Louis and a 25-year-old Harry will learn that love can be found where you least expect it.
34) For Reasons Wretched and Divine | Explicit | 94655 words
Ten years ago, Harry Styles was just a nerdy kid with one friend and a debilitating crush on the captain of his school’s football team. He thought the stars were smiling down on him the day he and Louis Tomlinson were paired for their end-of-term Literature project. But because Harry’s life is decidedly not a fairytale, the budding friendship quickly leads to the least happy ending of all time. Now, Harry Styles is a household name. Barely twenty-seven with two Grammy nominations to his name, the singer-songwriter is poised to take the music industry by storm with his highly anticipated third album. So, what happens when the best producer in the business is also the only person Harry’s vowed never to speak to again?    
35) Blue Ice | Mature | 102967 words
An AU where Louis finds himself in a marriage he didn't bargain for. 
36) A Taste Of Desire | Explicit | 104414 words
A Victorian ABO where Harry is the owner of the most successful cotton mill in Manchester, and Louis is an opinionated social activist about to disrupt Harry’s world.
37) Tainted Saints And Velvet Vices | Mature | 126056 words
A self-fulfilling Hogwarts AU in which Louis is new to seventh year and Harry is the resident devil-may-care Slytherin set to make his entire experience a living misery. Due to less than favourable circumstances they're forced to forge an unwilling, tentative relationship for their own survival. Repressed emotions, decidedly unromantic ballroom dancing, Triwizard Tournament tasks, creative jinxes and twilight flying above the Forbidden Forest ensue.
38) All I Want | Mature | 289307 words
When Harry and Louis got together it wasn’t under the best circumstances. Louis was taken by another. But go figure that the way they ended up together is the very same way it ended. And Harry left Louis. He left him with a lot more than he thought. A story about how people’s misconceptions almost destroyed a love that went beyond measure.
Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.
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today’s been fucked. it was good until I saw my ex post some stupid video of him doing one of those spread love singing challenges. and my eyes weld up with tears at first bc he was playing guitar and it sounded so good and I thought I ruined this, I threw this away, this is all my fault and I theee away the one good thing for me.
and then he hit a sour note and everything shattered. I realized he was playing basic chords with poor fingering techniques. and he’s let himself go, and even though he’s wearing the sweatshirt I bought him, he let it get permanently stained. his voice isn’t as lovely as I remembered, it’s breathy with a lack of support. it’s the kind of breath you hear out of a person who’s convinced they’re a wonderful singer with no need for vocal coaching. which is the kind of person he is. he couldn’t stay on key and went flat, and tried to desperately cover it with a riff that went sour.
and I realized this is the man that chastised me for five years, who told me I’m not a musician, that I don’t know how to sing, that I would never get in his Acapella group, that I should always sing his backups, that he doesn’t want me in his band bc I’m an embarassement. that my songs are trash and I shouldn’t perform bc I embarass him every time. my songs are not valid. my feelings are not valid. I’ll rewrite them for you hallie. Because you can’t.
I took lessons. I still take lessons. I practice every day for years and years to get better and learn, I was ready to throw myself into this industry. I know more vocal theory than he ever will and his stupid books or YouTube videos can’t help him there. And I will never pretend that I can’t stop learning. I take every piece of criticism I get, even his horrible ones that set my technique back some because I want to grow. I started an Acapella group with my friends and learn from 12 of the most talented singers I’ve met in my life. My mom sang opera and she’s the toughest critic I’ll ever meet. And I take all of those harsh words and grow.
I am a professional fucking jazz vocalist and a professional singer songwriter dammit. This a my job. I get paid. I have a following on campus. I have fans in multiple cities. He can’t even sing hey there Delilah on an acoustic guitar.
I can’t listen to car seat headrest anymore. It actually makes me sick. Which sucks bc it’s the only thing my college talks about. I can’t listen to jazz without my stomach turning, which is really hard, given my profession. I can’t listen to Beach Bunny. Sometimes I can’t listen to gorillaz or mitski. I hate snail mail now on principle.
Why did I ever let someone like this destroy my love of music
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alexandrasavior · 4 years
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Alexandra Savior AMA !!
COMING IN HOT BITCHES!!!!
Hi Alex! How much of the instrumentation was figured out before heading into the studio? Did you just bring in bare minimum demos and then fleshed them out in the studio? Or did you have most of it prepared and just recorded it? I really loved the album by the way!
Thank you! It was different for each track. A lot of the songs I had full fleshed demos that my band and I had recorded in Portland, and Sam Cohen and I worked around those. Some of the tracks like "But You" I had some Garage band demos I made on my own that we worked around, and some of the tracks like "Soft Currents" were just raw iPhone recordings of me playing and singing, and Sam and I worked out together in the studio.
Your music has some really interesting chord progressions and melodic phrases. To what extent do you consciously apply music theory to your songwriting, and how much just comes naturally from ear and instinct?
To no extent :/ I am not super skilled in music theory, I just play around until it seems like it makes sense to me
You described your desire for Belladonna of Sadness to sound "murderous", and I thought that darkness and dangerous feeling really shone through. What adjectives would you powerfully ascribe to your sophomore album? What tonal differences were important to you while recording?
I like this question! hmmmmmm. “honest"
I'm pretty new to your music, but, everyday I can't stop myself from liking it more. My two current favorite songs are “The Phantom” and “Bad Disease”. I've seen that many people prefer other songs from the album, so that made me think. What is your personal favorite song from your new album? Thanks!
“But You”!
Hypothetical: You’re making a new album and need to assemble your dream band. Anyone dead/alive. Who are you choosing?
My best friend Emma, my boyfriend, Mel, and like my therapist
Is there anything that you do in terms of practice when it comes to vocals/guitar/songwriting to improve yourself? Interested to hear
Try to play everyday
I'd love to know if you've got any cool, hidden talents that you haven't shown in public. Also I badly want to know who's done the cover for both “Saving Grace” and “Crying All the Time”.
ME! I painted them
What are your tips for marketing your music and getting more people to stream/buy your music?
I am lucky because I have a team that guides me through social posts, and a publicist. But don't post pics of your butt
Your music and music videos have so many cinematic elements to them. Does an affinity for film influence your music? If so, do you have some favorite films you can mention?
yes! Bonnie and Clyde, Rosemary's Baby, Don't Look Now, Fargo, Daisies
I've seen a few people comparing your latest work with Lana del Rey's. Do you listen to her? Was she really an inspiration for the record?
I like Lana she's talented, I understand the comparison in some ways , people tend to compare things naturally. But, no she wasn't my personal inspiration in any conscious way
Did you make a conscious effort to distance yourself from the sound of Belladonna of Sadness with this new album?
No, I have gotten mixed feedback some people say its the exact same sound, some say it is different, I just created what came naturally to me and used sounds that I am personally drawn to.
If you were to try to make someone a fan of your music, but could only show them three of your songs, what songs would you show them?
oooooh! hmmmmm. “But You”, “Audeline”, “Crying All The Time”.
Excuse me Ms. Savior - I fell in love with your duet "We're Just Making It Worse" many moons ago. What can you tell us about that song?
Thanks! Well my homie Cameron Avery wrote that tune, he just asked me to sing on it and I was glad to!
What do you think was the biggest difference between writing The Archer and Belladonna of Sadness?
i was alone
What advice would you give to up and coming musicians in the LA scene? Any Dos or Don’ts? Thank you :)
Don’t be gross and creepy! Don't worry about that hipsta shit. Do be nice and make your own shit!
What is the most unusual thing that you do to help you write or to help you get some inspiration?
Stalk all my exes’ new gfs on insta and then eat an entire chocolate cake
Will we ever get to hear your version of “Miracle Aligner”?
probs not
When does the vinyl for The Archer ship? I am hoping to get one of you drawings with mine!
First batch tomorrow 1/17/2020. Second batch Tuesday 1/21/2020. Thank You!
I saw a clip from a concert you gave recently. It was you with a couple of bandmates singing something acapella. What's that song? Is it yours? It was gooorgeous. Any chance you're coming to Barcelona?
"The Oak and The Ash", an old celtic song. I will be playing Sala Nau May 13th!!!!!!!!
Can you talk about the differences in recording your first album while signed to a major label and this album while signed to a indie label? I know you’ve spoken about why you left Columbia, but I was wondering how your personal process differed this time around, especially with different resources and personnel?
Yeah it was a lot less pressure making this record, I had more say and more freedom of expression.
You said in an interview that you wrote the songs for The Archer on piano or guitar and brought them to the studio recorded on your phone. Would you ever consider releasing these as bonus tracks? 
I might ya! They’re probably a lot less interesting than you think
Do you have any tips on how to overcome writers block/find new ways to approach writing ? I've been struggling a bit lately... Have you been reading lately? If so, what books would you recommend ? :)
Just be kind to yourself, do what is natural, don't beat yourself up. I just re-read "My Year of Rest and Relaxation" by Otessa Moshfegh, now I am ready " Conversations With Friends" by Sally Rooney. I would recommend any Joan Didion, also I enjoy Salingers "Nine Stories"
This album feels a lot more personal than the first one. How would you say it compares in relation to how you expressed yourself as an artist?
I was very insecure while writing my first record, and I was co-writing so I used a lot of techniques to shelter my own opinions and feelings, in The Archer it was just me, so it was more of a journal entry than a big fancy record
Which artists did you grow up admiring, and inspired your style? Also, do you have any poetry recommendations, seeing how all your lyrics are poems in their own right?
hmmmm. ok Hilary Duff, Elvis, The White Stripes, Billie Holiday. Poetry: I don’t read much poetry but I like Rimbaud and Sylvia Plath
How did you feel when you found out “Risk” played on True Detective?
I cried
On Belladonna, what inspired the lyrics and melody for “Till You're Mine”? That song is always on repeat in my household.
Thanks! I would say my own insecurities and jealousy towards a specific woman in my life
Do you write the melodies as well as the lyrics or is it a collaborative effort?
For this record I wrote the melodies, lyrics, and chords for every song aside from "The Phantom" which was a collaboration with Sam Cohen.
What inspired you to make this new album?
I just make songs, and each song was inspired by something different, but mostly I needed to show people I WRITE MY SONGS
Do you have plans to sell more merch? I would really love to get my hands on signed stuff or one of your drawings/crafts.
yes workin' on merch now! <3
As a budding songwriter and musician myself is there any advice or wisdom you could pass on when it comes to making a career out of it?
I think writing as much as you can and trying to write honestly is important. I was lucky in a strange string of events that started my career, and every dream is different, but I suppose just keep writing and releasing your songs wherever you can
Often when I listen to music I tend to relate the song to places I've been to or places I'm at while listening. Is it the same for you when you write your songs? Do you think about a specific place for each song?
Yeah totally!
Would you ever be interested in collaborating with another artist on their record?
Yeah! Depends on who, I have always wanted to sing on a rap song.
Collab with Weyes Blood coming anytime soon?
i wish brah
Any tips on staying sane with dating apps?
don’t do dating apps
Romance is a topic which you touch upon in both of your albums. Do you have any words or phrases that have helped you through a difficult time, both in dealing with or exploring relationships past or present, if so what are they? What is your favorite set of lyrics ever, i.e. phrases etc.
"fuck hem he's a deck", "Kathy's Song" Simon and Garfunkel, "I Remember" Molly Drake
Do you use more real life experience or do you use more imagination/creativity when writing lyrics?
Depends how boring my personal life is at the time haha
What's your favorite Beatle, favorite Beatle album and favorite Beatle song?
Georgie boy <333333333
Are there any plans to record/release that “political song” with the violin that you played at Homiefest last year? For a third album maybe? Thanks, loved you since 2015 when I first heard that “Risk” demo for True Detective. The Archer is a masterpiece no bullshit.
maybe! lol
Where is the love for Chicago? How come we haven't had any shows yet?
Give me a break homie I don't plan this stuff! Would love to come to Chicago! It all depends on timing and $$$$
What was the most challenging song to write on this record?
maybe bad disease
Will there be more music videos?
I dont think so :/
I noticed for both of your releases, theres been a decent amount of time.. between when they were recorded and released. Have you found this frustrating more than anything or is it nice to have time to sit with the album?
Well, sometimes it is hard to move on and write more, with so much time between the final touches of the record and the actual release.... But, it ebs and flows and its out now so its no difference to me now
Who are some artists/bands that you personally enjoy listening to?
Jessica Pratt, The Jhamels, Molly Drake
You also seem like a prolific painter, who would you point to as inspiration/muse? My best guess would be Picasso.
Alice Neel 100%
When you feel like you’re stuck when you’re writing a song, what do you do to get around it?
I stop writing for a while, don't force it. Everyone's process is different so I try not to beat myself up too much about it
When Kevin Parker hit reddit someone asked him about if he can upload a new song and he did so... Can we hear a new song ?
If Kevin Parker jumped off a bridge WOULD YOU ?!
Who's your dream musical collab? If you were to make a soundtrack what director would you work with?
dream collab: Snoop Dogg, director: Quentin
Can you say a little bit about the creation of the album art? It's understated but there is definitely a mood there!
my dear friend Dana Trippe took the photos, and my dear friend Aaron Mitchell did the fonts
Noticed your music has a very “old horror movie/spaghetti western” vibe to them. Any films/soundtracks that inform your sound you’d recommend?
ooooh Anything Coen Brothers or Wes Anderson
How much was growing up in Portland an influence on your music?
I would say the rain had a lot to do with my melancholy, but also the music scene in Portland has always been very DIY and rock-based so “ guess that influenced me in some way.
What’s your favorite song of your’s lyrically and your favorite song to perform?
fave lyrically: Bad Disease, fave to perform: But You or Mystery Girl
The whole record was amazing but “Soft Currents” keyboards are really something else, are you planning to write more on the piano?
thank you! yes been writing a lot on the ole ivories
I love how a lot of your songs sound very cinematic - would you like to get into movie music in some capacity? Either scoring or soundtrack?
Awh hell yeuh
Is there a particular song that you're most proud of?
But YOu!
What would you say is your favorite guitar that you own and what is your dream guitar to own?
I am not much of a gear-head though I would love and old nylon string
Do you think that “Risk” will ever be made available on Spotify and Apple Music?
Unfortunately, because it was released on T-Bone Brunette's label, there was a legal situation that made me unable to release it separately. :/
Will you be making more of those amazingly weird embroidered underwear for your new tour? Obvs need some Savior swag on this tush.
I wish! I don’t have a sewing machine anymore but I will be selling my lil boxes online soon
Any chance for a show in Toronto? I'm a big fan, and I introduced my mom to your music and she absolutely loves you (her words) so I'd love to take her to one of your shows
hahah awh <3 None planned at the moment :(
What song on The Archer was a struggle to finish? Or were they all easy?
easy peasy lemon squeezy
Don't want to take away from your latest release (because it is an amazing album) but was there a reason you decided to not work with Alex Turner or James Ford for any of the new songs, writing or producing?
-__-
Since both your albums have been about relationships mostly, would you ever consider making a political song/album? What is your stance on that old debate?
I write what comes naturally to me
What should I name my snail stuffed animal?
gail
Why didn’t you get a proper promotional run from Columbia for Belladonna? It’s an amazing album but I just found out about you through The Archer (which is equally amazing).
I can't really say, but I don’t think I was ever gonna make the kind of $$$ Columbia wanted
Would you like to tour South America at some point in your career?
awh hell yeuh!
Is there any particular era/motive which inspires your music visuals (album covers, music videos)? All the best from Split, Croatia!
70s!
Based on your Spotify stats, what are the countries that listen to you the most?
IDK! France seems to be very supportive
Any artist that you like that you could recommend?
Jessica Pratt, Sudan Archives, Vagabon
What's your favorite thing to draw/paint?
women
Who is your favorite artist / what is your favorite album at the moment, and how would you say this impacted on how The Archer sounds? Also please come to the North of England 😂
I AM!!! CHECK MY TOUR SCHEDULE AND COME BB!! favorite album rn "The Colour Green" by Sibylle Baier
What’s playing in your head now?
the click clacking of a mac keyboard
How do you like your coffee?
a lil bit of almond milk
Will The Archer be getting a cd release?
no :(
That's all folks! Thank for all of the questions, and most of all thank you so much for listening to my songs, it is a dream come true <3 Come see me play at my upcoming shows ! Can't wait to see you there <33333 amour my homies
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charmingcentry · 5 years
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Summary: Beca discovers about Chloe’s vocal nodule surgery over spring break after their acapella performance with the brunette’s change to the setlist. She decides to visit.
Entry for Day 5 - Why Are You Here?
AO3
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It was the beginning of spring break and Beca couldn't feel more unhappy.
She could see the steam blow out of Aubrey’s head and Beca felt tears rise to her own eyes when the blonde made the choice of removing the brunette from the Bellas.
And no one stood up for her.
Not Fat Amy, not Stacie, not even Jessica, the most optimistic and smiley person in the group, no. Not even Chloe Beale, the co-captain. The only person who did defend the brunette, Beca screamed frustratedly at. She had turned right on her heel and stormed out of the auditorium.
Because that's what she did best.
If all else fails, she runs.
-
Beca misses strolling over to rehearsal every day at 4:00, even if she wasn't particularly fond of the captain or the cardio activity. She misses the parts where Stacie couldn't stop groping herself and the group would end up in a laughing fit. Beca misses how Fat Amy occasionally orders pizza during cardio and would dine in front of the girls with absolutely zero fucks given. She misses Lilly’s ominous comments and how her face would spontaneously pucker up.
Most of all, she misses that person who she sang Titanium in the shower with.
Beca misses Chloe Beale with her bright blue eyes full of hope.
As cliché as it may sound, the redhead made practice more enjoyable and worthwhile. The little winks Chloe would throw Beca during their stretching, the compliments of how good Beca executes a dance move even though the brunette is aware of how she's been half-heartedly doing these dance moves for the past couple of months. She misses how Chloe and she would usually be the last ones to leave rehearsal because the redhead insisted on walking Beca back to her dormitory.
Those were times Beca took for granted and now she may not even see the girls on a regular basis. Her first female friend group disappeared right before Beca’s very eyes just like that.
Everyone has each other's phone numbers, Aubrey created a Bellas group chat with everyone's number on it and was left with a text from Chloe.
Bree and I are proud of everyone's hard work put into this season… hopefully, you guys can carry on and get into the Championship next year! xxx
It was left on read by everyone, even Aubrey… looks like everyone was bitter after that performance. No one has texted the group chat ever since the performance which isn't surprising. Hell, no one even texted one another separately, even if Beca was on good terms with the other Bellas - must've felt awkward.
At this point, Beca didn't have any friends around with the exception of her roommate Kimmy Jin. Well, more like she's the only person that the brunette is able to communicate with… the Asian roommate still wasn't fond of Beca. Even if that may be the case, Beca still preferred to keep to pent up all of her frustrations.
She didn't know what else to do.
-
Beca's huddled up in the corner of her small bed, watching a movie. She's sniffling and crying when she notices her phone vibrate - it's been on vibrate ever since the group's fallout. The brunette wipes her tears away and picks up the phone and notices her father’s name.
Dad 1 text message
Beca quirked up an eyebrow as she removed her headphones, it's odd that her father would message her out of the blue, the two haven't talked or seen each other since Beca had gotten arrested even if they’re on the same campus. Before the brunette could answer, her phone pings again.
Dad 2 text messages
Beca decides to open the texting app.
Is your friend Chloe okay? I heard she got surgery and that’s why she hasn’t been attending study groups lately.
Surgery? What could Chloe be getting surgery for? Beca begins to text until her father sends another message.
Do you not know?
Beca swiftly types across her keyboard, head tilted.
havent talked to her since the performance
Oh. How’s the Bellas?
Beca looks up to the ceiling to prevent more tears from falling. havent talked to them since the performance.
I’m sorry.
Beca hovers her thumbs over the keyboard, circling around letters. She tugs at her bottom lip, she knows what she will ask might become a mess - but Beca is tired of running. do u know the address of the hospital?
Oh! Let me ask one of the students here… Chloe’s really close with the study group people.
The brunette nodded and removed the blanket on top of her along with the bulky black headphones. She shut down her laptop as she waited for her father to respond, slipping her boots on. Her phone pings and Beca immediately opened her phone.
423 Carnegie Way. You planning to visit?
It was too obvious at this point to lie. yes. can i take ur car?
Go ahead. Parked by your dormitory. You have the spare key right?
yeah
Okay, drive safely.
Beca shuts her phone off and just as she’s about to run out the door, her roommate stops her.
“Your makeup, idiot.” Kimmy Jim deadpans, the brunette turns around with a slightly amused expression as she walks over to her mirror. She notices her eyeliner smudged from the crying and somehow forgotten. Beca walks over to her bedside drawer and grabs a packet of makeup wipes then walks back out. “Beca?”
The brunette turns around. “Yeah what’s up?”
“Good job.” Kimmy Jins answers, Beca could tell she was fighting back a smile.
“Cya Kimmy Jin.”
The brunette exits the dormitory building towards her father’s car in the parking lot. Beca unlocks the vehicle and sits in the driver’s seat, wiping off the heavy eyeliner from her face and immediately starts the car once her makeup is completely removed. She pulls out of the parking lot as she starts the GPS for the hospital Chloe is located at. This is either going to be a big mistake or the greatest thing Beca has done.
The brunette parks her father’s car which is intact - Beca accidentally scratched his car against a tree during high school and he won’t forget it. Beca turns off the engine and exits the vehicle and enters the quiet building. She walks towards the receptionist and notices the “Visting Hours” sign is lit, luck is on Beca’s side today. The receptionist looks up and smiles gently at Beca, she looks like she hasn’t received much sleep.
“How may I help you?”
Beca clears her throat and speaks in a lower octave. “Is there anyone by the name of Chloe Beale here?”
The receptionist quirks up an eyebrow. “Who may you be? Visitors can only be friends and family.”
“Oh, I’m her friend. I’m in the same acapella group as her, the Barden Bellas.” Beca groans at herself internally, she has a tendency to overshare when nervously speaking with strangers.
“Alright… yes, she’s here. Would you like to visit her?” Beca nods. The receptionist logs information into the computer and grabs the untearable visitor bands from underneath her desk. Beca holds out her wrist as the receptionist wraps the band around her wrist and cuts off the excess part. “She’s on level 3, room 303. Enjoy your visit.”
Beca waves goodbye at the friendly receptionist and walks to the elevators, pressing the third-floor button. She feels her heart rate pick up and hands go clammy, not sure whether if she’s nervous for Chloe’s reaction or seeing the redhead in general. The brunette’s mouth goes dry as the elevator doors open, Beca immediately being able to see her room on the right-hand side of the building. She slowly approaches the door and takes a shaky breath. The brunette opens the door.
Chloe is dressed in a hospital gown and she manages to make those displeasing gowns look good. She’s staring out of the window, earbuds plugged into her ear as she nods slowly along with a beat. Beca walks closer to her bed and the redhead slowly turns her head towards the brunette, she gapes her mouth open as she removes her earbuds.
“Hi Chlo…” Beca awkwardly waves, confused when Chloe turns away. She’s relieved to find the redhead turn back around with a pen and notepad.
Why are you here?
Beca takes a seat at the edge of her bed. “Just wanted to see how you were… did your surgery go well? What was it for?” The brunette asks, nervously fidgeting with her hands. Chloe smiles and writes her response down once again, Beca notices she switched hands for writing this time… ambidextrous.
It went well, I’m on vocal rest. And it’s cute how you worry. Remember my nodes? I removed them…
The brunette’s jaw drops as she inches closer to Chloe. “Oh wow, that’s… shit. Can you still sing?” Chloe nods and writes a note down.
Can’t sing above a G# maybe ever. Probably have to take voice therapy for like four to six weeks.
Beca brushes a stray hair behind her ear out of nervousness. “I’m sorry about that. At least you can still sing after right?” The redhead nods and writes a reply down.
You’re the first person to visit me you know? I expected maybe Aubrey or something but no… it's you. How come?
“I don’t know… felt like I was required too. You’re my friend.” Chloe’s smile washes over her face, that’s the first she’s smiled since Beca walked in. “Also… I’m really sorry for what I said to you after the performance. It was so fucked up and I wish I could take it back.” The redhead grabs Beca’s hand as she writes down another note.
No, it’s fine. I’m sorry too, I should’ve stood up to Bree. And that’s the first time I’ve heard you mention that I’m your friend :)
Beca laughs at the smiley face drawn at the end. “Yeah… don’t tell anyone. I have this whole ‘badassery’ vibe going on here.” The brunette gestures to her body with the hand not being held by Chloe’s. The redhead rolls her eyes and the smile grows wider. There’s silence between the two as Beca stares into Chloe’s bright blue eyes, blushing at the sight of her smile. Beca breathes in and lets out a shaky breath. “I really missed you Chlo.” The redhead’s eyes widen a bit as she writes once again.
I missed you too. Have you talked to any of the other girls yet?
Beca shakes her head no.
Wow, I’m the first? I’m special, aren’t I ;)
“Don’t get too cocky there Beale.” The brunette teases while smirking. “You just, I miss seeing your smile and going to practices with you and shit…” Chloe tilts her head. “I’ve never really felt close to someone until you? Maybe that’s because you saw me naked within like a week of meeting each other… that’s at least two bases you skipped there.” Beca jokes, causing Chloe to bite down her lip to prevent laughing too much. “I just… really really like you and I was worried about you and… yeah.” Beca is confused as to why Chloe’s eyes were huge until she realized what she just said. She stands from the bed, covering her mouth. “Shit I- fuck.” Chloe quickly scribbles down something on her notepad.
Wait, Beca no it’s okay! Sit back down.
The brunette clenches her hands into fists and slowly sits down. “I’m sorry I just… I tend to ramble and just, ugh fuck! I’m just so bad with this type of stuff…” Chloe gestures for Beca to come closer and so Beca does. The redhead plants a soft kiss on the corner of Beca’s mouth and smiles when Beca appears to be dumbfounded. Chloe immediately scribbles something on her notepad.
I really like you too idiot.
Beca rolls her eyes as she slowly grazes over the corner of her mouth with her fingertips, the feeling of Chloe’s lips still lingering. The brunette blushes as Chloe slips her hand into Beca’s. The redhead notices the time and frowns. She writes in her notepad with her free hand.
Hospital people don’t like it when you stay for too long… you should probably get going.
Beca frowned as she slowly stood up, still holding hands with Chloe. “Yeah… probably.” Chloe scribbles something down.
I hope the Bellas will regroup sometime soon.
The brunette nods. “Yeah me too…” Beca plants a kiss on Chloe’s forehead and waves goodbye to her possible girlfriend. The brunette leaves the hospital with a smile on her face and the feeling of Chloe’s lips still tingling the corner of her mouth. When she enters her father’s car, she immediately gets a text from Chloe.
FOOTNOTES LEADER WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL AND GROUP WAS DISQUALIFIED. WE’RE BACK IN BEC!
She smiles as she starts the car… luck was really on her side today.
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fil-jannah · 5 years
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I wanted to mention something about music.
Frankly, people are not mature enough for this discussion. Many folks can’t accept that the huge majority of scholars deemed it impermissible. Conversely, many of those who follow the "haram" opinion don’t realise that the key hadith which the case is built upon aren’t as strong as they could be. Then you have some non-Muslims who can’t imagine what kind of barbaric death-cult would avoid music because music to them is like life itself, indeed perhaps the only source of happiness they have left in this miserable existence we call Little England. Sorry I couldn't resist, I've still got Brexit on my mind. -_-
Anyway, God help you if you consider music haram because you must be the most backward extremist on the planet, and God help you even more if you ever considered it halal because all your other good deeds and orthodoxy might as well be thrown in the bin and you must be boycotted like as you have apostated!
There are way too many emotions in this debate. It’d made Brexit look like a walk in the park. Ok that's the last EU reference I'm going to make, I promise.
So that’s why so many religious folks avoid the subject of music in fear of upsetting their followers. It’s professional suicide basically. But I still want to reflect on the issue because one man’s suicide is surely another man’s martyrdom right? And since when did I care about followers anyway?
Ok so play along with me here:
I want you to put aside all bias, emotions and opinions about music, its scene and its people and imagine a clean slate walking into Ramadhan.
In the UK especially, many mosques are quite central and close to clubs and bars etc. The one where we pray our Tarawih at is very close to this popular karaoke bar. And their whole show starts right at the same time we start our Tarawih prayers. And yes we can all faintly hear it throughout the Prayer. It’s quite an experience I tell you.
I reckon 95% of the tracks that they play from all the old classics I know by heart from my youth, and it only needs a single riff or opening line, even if muffled at very low volume quite far away, for me to immediately connect with that track and subconsciously soak it up.
The interesting thing that came to mind though is this: as soon as that opening line kicks in, so does the young guy who grabs the mic and tries to sing it for the rest of the crowd. Everyone’s usually a bit tipsy and in a party mood so there’s lots of generosity for the rather poor attempt each time, and anyway they all usually knock down a serious amount of drink, food and other activities to create what is for them a brilliant night out. Truly, it was a night of worship for them. Speaking to some of them afterwards, you wouldn’t know any better with shiny happy faces and enchanted eyes as if in rapture itself: the phrases “it was divine”, “we worship this place” and “he’s god” flow freely.
This is their ‘ibadah.
I then reflect upon where I am, standing as part of another audience just next door, with another young guy who also goes forward and grabs the mic and tries to sing for us. Except his singing is not so much focused on creating a great sound but rather for us to hear the actual words that he recites from the Book of God. Most of us are not helped to enhance the experience as we don’t have drink, food or even an understanding of what’s actually being said, forget about whether we think it *sounds* great or not. But we do realise at the end that even though we might not have enjoyed it so much as the karaoke, it was an even more brilliant night out. We might not understand it but it was for the Divine, it felt like worship and it was certainly for God Himself.
This is our ‘ibadah.
Listen, we cannot compare the instant feel-good power that music brings to every single person, versus what the Qur’an does for some people and what the majority wish that it *would* do for them but they just haven’t invested enough time and energy studying it into *letting* it impact them.
Don’t compare, trust me. Music sounds better. That’s what it was created for. The ultimate sound test for ears. That’s why it’s a supreme fitnah for millions. Nothing compares to it so don’t try to fight it. Just accept that it wins and that the Qur’an is instead dealing with a whole different paradigm in getting its message to you direct to your heart and not so much via your ears and serotonin levels.
Obviously there are exceptions amongst people who don’t care for music whatsoever and can listen to the Qur’an 24/7 but they’re called the Awliya’. This doesn’t help the mass majority of Muslims.
However in this dunyawi mis-match, what audience would *you* like to be in?
How many of those who really love music want to be on this side of the wall with us, or the other side of the wall with them, on the 21st night of Ramadhan? Or the 22nd? Or the 2nd? Or indeed any night from the rest of the year surely, because if something is attractive for this month then it should be the same outside this month too, and if something is ugly for this month then does it lose its ugliness afterwards?
It’s amazing that even the most diehard music-head wants to disassociate themselves from that crowd, that culture, that scene, when they stand in prayer listening to the Qur’an even though they feel the other lot sound better and are having more fun.
Why is it that we wouldn’t want to be part of that audience at this exact moment? Why don’t we want to spend the night there? Why wouldn’t we want to die there? Why wouldn’t we want to be raised up and meet God with those same people who were next door?
The answer is simple. Because we are ultimately people of ‘ibadah.
It’s because our fitrah, our innate natural state, can never be suppressed. Our natural state is one of ‘ibadah, we just need to be reminded of it that’s all. When push comes to shove, we all know that we’d rather do what’s *right* as compared to what we might love from our desires. We can never lie to ourselves. Our souls are far too honest for that. The greatest ecstatic moment you have ever experienced listening to your favourite artist's best chorus, is trumped by a single Sajdah that you prolong for more than an auto-pilot three tasbeehs. Once you actually wake up and realise why you're there, tell me now that your heart doesn't tremble!
And that’s why deep down despite whatever we might think, we know the right side from the wrong side, we know who we want to be associated with as opposed to those we’d politely refrain from, we know whom Allah loves and whom Allah will pass by.
It is for this reason why I ask folks to not get caught up too much in the legalities surrounding whether music is halal or haram or whatever. Leave the debates about music and instruments and what is a human voice and what is acapella and what is a sound effect and what is going too far ad infinitum. That only creates people who try to get round it. Once you get involved in technicalities then they’ll make “Muslim” boy bands instead, and “Muslim” sounds, and “Muslim” God knows what. You create the absurdity of copy-cats who sing the same songs but do so “Islamically” whatever that means, whilst the same diseased culture remains. Being obsessed with music is more than just a sound and an instrument. It’s a mindset. And it’s a mindset that doesn’t befit believers.
But you’ll be crucified by the “cultured” elite Muslims for saying any of that so don’t bother. It’s not worth people hating on you over this. I’m gonna say it anyway though cos' I'm cool with it; I eat hate for suhur *and* iftar.
So instead, tell yourself and tell those whom you love: just be honest. Who do you want to *be*, who do you think worships Him like *He* wants to be worshipped and ultimately who do you want to be raised up from?
That’s why I’ll choose the young lads with the mics trying their best on *this* side of the wall, and I’ll let the other lot enjoy themselves on their side.
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alphabees-writes · 4 years
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Glee - S1 E3 (Acafellas)
“I’m excited to watch this one, only because I remember actually really liking the Acafellas covers? Let’s see how hard I cringe now!
I’d have to guzzle wine if I had to have dinner with Terri too, Will’s mom...
“Oh it’s just hamburger casserole! Look out for bones.” Lucky for you she likes her casserole boneful!
Sign #8 That Mr Schuester Is An Asshole: Deciding to announce Terri’s pregnancy to his parents WELL before the 12 week standard, without asking her first. He literally springs it on her. Yeah she’s awful, but so is he right now!
“I started at Zuckerman and Zuckerman while I was in college” Alternate timeline where Lauren Zises and Puck start a business together confirmed?
Is it mean of me to be distracted by how HUGE Will’s dad’s ears are...?
Theme of the day: Placating William Schuester’s ego
Quinn calling Rachel “sweetie” even though it’s dripping with sarcasm just makes my Faberry bones jingle
The way Quinn says “Did you ever perform Mr Schuester?” is a god damn SMACK! DOWN! 
Emma roasting John Stamos, who will be her husband in about a season’s time, is golden
Will spends too much time in Emma’s office. Aren’t the students meant to have appointments? There’s no way there’s a single school in the world where the counselling service isn’t totally overwhelmed with a mile long waiting list
The “For he’s a jolly good fellow” scene is me and my sister every time we hang out
Will turning into the camera to kick off “THIS IS HOW WE DO IT” is one of the better transitions on this show, honestly
This is one of the few occasions I actually like Matt Morrison’s delivery a lot. He genuinely sounds like he has no idea how awkward this group would be to watch...
Ahh... Nothing squicks me out quite like the face of William Schuester when he knows he’s about to get some coochie
Sign #9 That Mr Schuester Is An Asshole: Rachel and Quinn tell him his dance moves are old fashioned, and he starts being completely absent in rehearsals... Very professional of you William
The way he says “whatever” to Rachel makes me want to throw him into a bonfire
“Do you see anybody else in here with a plate of ‘I’m sorry’ cookies? BOOM! Smack DOWN!
Again, Finn just straight up not knowing what anything is is making my god damn day
Of COURSE she’s still upset Finn, you bozo! YOU PULLED A KISS-NUT-RUN!
How Many Times Can We Fit The Word Guts Into One Episode Challenge
Quinn and Santana are filling Sue in, but Brittany’s missing. I like to think she’s lost.
Wow for a while I forgot Santana and Puck were ever a thing... Can I re-forget it?
How can Mercedes look at Kurt in THAT jacket and think “yeah, that’s a heterosexual right there” I just. I can’t
Mercedes: Have you ever kissed anybody? Kurt: Yes. If by someone you mean the tender crook of my eLbOw... I’ve never wanted to be an elbow before wow!
Kurt and Mercedes reminding one another that they’re the best people within a 100 mile radius? Perfect.
“Every moment of your life is an opportunity for fashion” is a GREAT philosophy until you’re me and have about as much style as a dumpster raccoon
POISON! I hate that I actually like this cover...
You ready Ken? I’m ready. You ready Oooooonrie? I’m ready Will, are you?  Like, just pull the plug RIB
I can’t complain about how supportive Will’s parents are tbh it’s kinda wholesome?
Why was Figgins at this random acapella show...? Nice of him to show up anyway
“Is it too late to call Will Schuester the next Micheal Buble?” YES. Don’t sully the name of Mr Christmas himself
Oh wow. They really dragged Josh Groban into this! I nearly forgot...
MERCEDES LOOKS CUTE AS HELL IN THOSE SUSPENDERS!!! AND TINA’S WEARING THE MOST BEAUTIFUL SHIRT??? GIRLS!!!
Ah, the form-fitting sweaters that stop at the knee... Where would we be without them? Well, idk, if Burt Hummel was in charge apparently we’d all have nice cars
Kurt bb you have no idea you’re being asked out do you??? Bless your heart. Also poor Mercedes, she thinks he said yes...
I’m sorry, but NO car wash is going to raise you $8000. I don’t care if you’re washing those cars with caviar, it’s just not gonna happen!
Sign #10 That Mr Schuester Is An Asshole: Henri ends up in the ER because he’s been chugging cough syrup like it’s Redbull and all he cares about is not being able to twerk for Josh Groban :/
Imagine seeing an ad for the Acafellas on fucking craigslist. Sign up now, feet pics optional!
Sign #11 That Mr Schuester Is An Asshole: Belittles Finn for wanting to quit glee, while completely ignoring and neglecting glee.
Imagine your high school Spanish teacher holding you back after class to ask you to join his acapella band ._.
Puck join glee for MILFs and ONLY for MILFs. That’s all he wanted
Santana told Puck she ended it over his credit score but really it was all the heterosexuality
Oh god for a second I thought the first cougar was Santana’s mother I nearly flipped
“I also stopped beating people up so much” is ICONIC
Hey Ken! Maybe stop grabbing your student like that? Thanks! fuckhead
“My BOWELS have better moves than you” God damn it. I want to hate Puck, and I think we all know why, but... I love this character. 
ThAt BaSeBaLl ThInG sUrE wAs GoOd Mr ScHuE!
I know this isn’t the point of this scene, but I NEED to see Kurt just walking around school in a corset. Just chilling in his lessons like that? Icon.
Mercedes asking Kurt to be her boyfriend is PAINFUL but also I fucking love her confidence? She knows what she wants! It’s just a shame she vandalises his car right after :/ 
Kurt’s FACE when Mercedes says “Rachel?!” He can’t believe he lucked out like that oh my goodness
SHE SMASHED THE WINDOW. HIS FACE OH MY GOD. Why are all the half-naked Cheerios polishing the busted car now 
Amber busts some MOVES for this number... She kills it. I mean, don’t smash cars up kids, but if you do make sure you know your choreography for after!
It must’ve been so much fun to smash up that car for the dance oh my goodness. Did they have to shoot that in one take? Or did they just have a line of Navigators out back? RIB will never wear form-fitting sweaters that stop at the knee ever again...
“Well you busted my heart!” Ok Mercedes but like... He didn’t put a fucking ROCK through it he just doesn’t know what dates are???
Mercedes sticks up for Artie, and then Kurt sticks up for them both when Dakota Stanley starts being a bitch... They’re wonderful friends! So proud of them
Ok he’s a little gremlin man but “I feel like a WOODLAND CREATURE!” is still something I quote
I know Rachel’s nose is a recurring thing but... It’s not a bad nose? Like, at all? It suits her perfectly, and it’s not noticeably large?
Will you really don’t need to be that close to fix Finn’s tie. In fact, you don’t need to fix it at all?
I know you’re not gonna sing THAT song!
They did NOT pay Josh Groban enough for any of this. Especially not “Josh Groban loves a blousy alcoholic”
“I’m a teacher... And a really good one” Are you, Mr Schue? Are you?
The look on Kurt’s face when he comes out to Mercedes... You can see the panic there. His eyes. Oh god. And then she ACCEPTS HIM because HE’S WONDERFUL THE WAY HE IS and she’s a GOOD FRIEND!!! Oh god he’s tearing up I’m going to cry...
Although I’m not 100% in love with the way she implies that telling everybody in the glee club is as simple as being true to himself. He’s not ashamed, Mercedes, he’s terrified... Although I know her heart is in the right place. She just wants him to know they’ll accept him at the end of the day!
He’s crying... My baby boy...
Sue permanently has old Cheerios footage playing on the TV in her office, because of course she does!
Quinn can say Sue taught her that lesson, but we all know she learned it from Rachel. With whom she is in love, of course.
Ahh, the first real Faberry moment... Delicious. Finally, some good fucking food!
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yiqiie · 5 years
Text
IDOL PRODUCER S2: E2 THOUGHTS
every week, i’ll sit down and watch the newest episode of Idol Producer Season 2 《青春有你》and write down all my thoughts. nothing get’s left out so get ready for a bunch of memes, shit posts and rants as we get through another season of our fave survival show 
feel free to send me any questions to my inbox and i’ll answer them asap!
a/n: sorry this is late! i forgot the episode was released yesterday welp but tbh saturday night is probably gonna be my upload day anyway 
start time: 10:42 am 
my internet is experiencing problems woooooo so this will be interesting 
so many goddamn ads 
wait who’s the team who were playing like instruments and shit??? they sounded AWESOME
oh damn recap of zyx being pissed off 
MILK ADS 
that chewing gum is actually pretty good ngl 
also the theme song is getting catchier so don’t be surprised if i start liking it 
i still feel so bad for the kids who are sitting out IN THE COLD 
[break while my internet decides if it wants to continue being an asshole]
MC JIN YOU’RE HILARIOUS I LOVE YOU 
‘if you’re a rapper, PLEASE LEAVE’ i’m dead 
zhang pd is sighing lmao 
chen si jian leggo 
IT’S A RAPPER I’M CRYING AHAHAHHAHAAH 
*awkward silence* 
he’s shaking omfg poor baby 
also minghao is really cute ily i never said it before 
HE WROTE THAT?? oof you got talent boy 
he got a zyx serious nod 
wtf he was so quiet??? and now he’s just rapping the shit out of this song 
HE CAN SING YES YOU GO BABE 
oh damn those lyrics 
is it an A? i saw in the description there might be an A today 
IT’S A B YOU GO SWEETHEART 
IT’S THE SMILER FROM LAST EPISODE 
i love their suits 
LI ZHENNING BABE YOUR SMILE 
black pearl i’m crying his skin is GORGEOUS 
HIS POUT 
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ALL OF THEIR SMILES ARE SO BEAUTIFUL 
zyx and mc jin talking about shi mingze being similar to kris wu 
LOOK AT ZYX’S FACE MY EXO FEELS 
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he looks like my uncle I SPIT MY WATER OUT LMFAO 
jia yi’s CLAPPING I AM IN LOVE 
THAT ENTRANCE 
HIP WIGGLING I LOVE IT 
the song was damn good 
mc jin lmfao HIS SOUNDS 
even the trainees know that their bets on other trainees’ grades are probably gonna be wrong lol 
YOU’VE SCARED THEM ZHANG PD 
jia yi why are you so fcking cute 
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NO ONE IN C EITHER 
well their prediction wasn’t wrong they said all of them would be D together 
but :( i really liked their perf 
HE WANTS TO GO ON STAGE JUST TO SEE ZHANG PD 
what a precious bub i shall protect 
stretchy bendy boi
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xu long han uwu 
WAIT 
HE WAS THE ONE WHO CALLED ZYX A DIMPLE LIAR 
AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH 
[pls excuse as my wifi loads again]
LI RONGHAO NOT UNDERSTANDING THE JOKE 
i actually love him 
oh jesus this song brings back the memories lmfao 
THIS KID IS FCKING HILARIOUS I LOVE HIM 
stretchy bendy boi again woooooo 
I’M CRYING HE’S SO FUNNY I LOVE HIM MUM 
we already knew he was F but still ;; 
YOU MADE A GOOD IMPRESSION THOUGH GORGEOUS ILY 
YAO MINGMING ILY HE’S SO CUTE 
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LOOK AT HOW ADORABLE ALSKDJALSD
6 years as a trainee damn boi 
oh shit 
how is being this good at dancing fair holy goddamn 
THEY CAN SING TOO WTF THIS IS NOT FAIR 
[wifi cut off again so guess what i GET TO WATCH THE PERF AGAIN] 
zyx has his serious face on 
wait they just got up from that position WITHOUT THEIR HANDS 
HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE
uh oh they ain’t getting As or Bs 
A C AND A D NOOOO 
okay i agree with his comments but c’mon they were nervous 
don’t worry babes you have plenty of time to improve! ;;; 
zhou shi yuan oh god i need to remember names 
HE DOES BIOMEDICINE?? DAMN BOI 
deep voice holy shit damn 
VOCALS VOCALS VOCALS 
omg so many vocals today 
BROMANCING ALREADY SHARING MILK 
okay that sounds weird 
THE BOY HE CHEERS AT EVERYONE WHO IS HE 
others: :| 
this boi: :O
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omfg he’s a fcking meme too 
[paused while my mother makes me watch a David Attenborough documentary on bamboo] 
MAVERICKS LET’S GO 
MR X’S SONG WHOOP WHOOO 
IDOL PROD S1 FEELS LEGGO 
IT’S ACAPELLA HOLY SHIT LET’S GO 
vocals damn holy shit 
okay the dancing may not be as on point because there was a bit where they weren’t doing anything 
BUT I STILL LIKE THEIR VOCALS 
YAO CHI WHAT THE 
WE HAVE A B BABES 
GUAN YUE FINALLY 
MY BEAUTIFUL SMILING BABY BOY I’VE MISSED YOU 
even yixing is in love with his smile i can tell 
those sharp dance moves though 
I LOVE GUAN YUE GUYS 
honestly that was my favourite performance i don’t care what other people say 
it’s probably gonna be a B 
even though i want him to get an A 
LIAN HUAI WEI MY FAVOURITE BUB 
li wenhan holy shit you are fcking adorable 
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YUEHUA LET’S GOOOOO
he forgot to bow WHAT A CUTIE 
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LI WENHAN BEING A LEADER I LOVE 
babe don’t say you don’t want an F because zyx can sense fear and he’s gonna give you one 
i’M PRAYING FOR YOU ALREADY 
wenhan is such a soft boy omg 
JIAYOU BABES I’M ROOTING FOR YOU 
oh goddamn these slow mo shots are killing me 
OOF WENHAN GAVE ME A LOOK 
picking up the rose petals I AM DEAD 
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guys i still really love jolin she smiled at me and i just forgot about my love for all the others 
jks li wenhan is singing at me now 
i want him to get an A but my bet is on a B 
NO Fs OR Ds WE DOING GOOD 
hu chun yang is really cute just saying 
told y’all so 
even though i wanted him to get an A
YES IT’S THE BAND HOLY SHIT 
THIS WAS SUPER GOOD IN THE PREVIEW 
oof i love it i love it i love it 
probs not gonna get the results i want them to get but WHO CARES I’M STANNING 
all Cs i can deal with that 
LIKE MY DAD POOR LI RONGHAO
i really like this guy’s suit 
wait i forgot his name 
i’ll wait till zyx says it again lmfao 
ZHANG PD SAYS HE’S HANDSOME 
chen you wei THAT’S HIS NAME 
HE GOT AN F WHAT 
oh here we go gramarie
okay i gotta say gramarie is really good at picking songs 
like last year it was a really good song too 
when are we getting an A 
the accents are so cute AHAHAHAHA 
zyx is losing his shit 
i missed their names though and their company 
there aren’t any left????
are there seriously no As?
oh damn 
i just noticed that the new trainee clothes are from new balance 
I AM CRYING FROM LAUGHTER 
such a good reference to ‘balance’ 
they’re really not going to give zyx a break lmfao 
theme song practice leggo
IT’S THE SM PRACTICE ROOM 
MY SM FAMILY FEELS 
i really do love the new uniforms 
THE DORMS 
WE’VE MISSED YOU 
bruh the gifts are better than last year 
wenhan you’re adorable omg i’ve said this so many times 
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SOMEONE HAS A YODA AHAHAHHA
XU MINGHAO YOU’RE A GORGEOUS BOI 
and you’re a cutie too 
he speaks so softly too ugh ily 
lmfao their hands look like jellyfish ngl 
but damn xu minghao you’re a good teacher 
wang jiayi ;;; working when everyone left already 
ngl i’m not feeling the broship like last season where people would go out of their way to help each other 
he’s literally by himself and it’s nearly 6am 
jesus this boy is hard working 
LMAO once one person comes in everyone comes in ahahhahha
okay okay previews here we come 
wait removing the centre decision 
TO WHAT
oh damn future stages what a look 
I LIKE 
sidenote: i took a ss of this beautiful boy but forgot where i was going to put it so i’m gonna leave it here anyways. enjoy :)
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finish time: 9:47 pm 
that’s all folks; tune in next week for another episode of mai’s shitposting whilst we suffer through another survival show together!
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wannabe-bella · 5 years
Text
What's a Raincloud without Sunshine?
She watches them. Watches him throw his arm over her shoulder while she beams in delight. Watches as he pulls her closely, almost as if he owns her. But then Jesse's voice brings her out of her stare and she's back to reality.
"Alright guys, let's get to recording!" He calls out to them, them being Luke, Beca, and Chloe. His gaze then falls to the brunette, "Beca?"
Snapping her head up, or more importantly from the redhead opposite her, Beca gives him a nod before standing from the chair she's slouched in. "Yeah, yeah... Let's do this." She claps her hand, grabbing the guitar beside her.
"You alright there, Becky?" Luke asks as they plug their guitars up to the amplifiers. He has a look on his face as if he knows. And then his eyes flicker over to the redheaded girl who places a kiss on her boyfriend's lips and he gets it, only tipping his head in understanding before adjusting the sound of his guitar.
Noticing that Chloe and her boy toy of the month have yet to un-lock lips, she ungracefully slams down on the guitar letting out an unmerciful screech causing the pair to jump back. The boyfriend,Chad, sending her a glare as he almost trips over the amp.
She sends him a cheeky smirk and a lazy shrug, "My bad."
Giggling, Chloe skips her way towards her. "Why?" Is all she asks, her voice low.
"You know I don't like him," Beca replies, now tuning up the guitar.
"I know... But he's my boyfriend, Bec." Chloe reminds her, her eyes watching as Beca's fingers fiddle with the tuning pegs.
"That doesn't mean I have to like him."
To: Beca Mitchell
From: JonathanHolland jukeboxbar
Hello, this is Jonathan Holland, owner of Jukebox Bar. I recently saw a video of you and your band performing through Facebook and would like to give you the opportunity of performing at my bar next weekend. I spend my time researching newer bands in hopes of giving them a push in this business and luckily for you and your bandmates, I found your Facebook page.
If you're interested in this offer, please email me back ASAP so we can talk about the details.
Jonathan Holland – Jukebox Bar
...
Rolling the van up outside the bar, Jukebox Bar to be exact, Beca and her friend stare up at the neon sign lit up above the building.
"You sure this isn't rigged?" Luke asks from the passenger seat beside her. Shrugging, Beca opens the door, "Guess we'll find out."
The pair load up their equipment onto the stage set up within the bar, having volunteered to be the two to do it before the rest of the band arrive later that night. As they set the gear up, an older man, around his mid 30's makes an appearance. The sound of his footsteps making them glance over.
"You must be The Trebles?" He guesses. His eyes glancing between them, "I thought there were more of you?"
"We are. And there is," Luke answers for them, looking over to Beca, "They'll be here soon."
"And you must be Beca Mitchell?" The older man says, his eyes falling onto the brunette. He holds his hand out to her.
"That would be me," She says, shaking the hand. She tips her head towards Luke, "And this is Luke."
"Pleasure to meet you," The blonde says, his British accent shining through as he shakes his hand after.
"I'm Jonathan Holland, owner of this place," Jonathan explains, gesturing to the bar around them, "I'll let you guys get set up and check in on you later." He says, backing away, "If you need anything, just let me know." As he then goes to leave, he pauses, turning round to face them with a smile, "Oh... And drinks are on the house for you guys tonight."
An hour later and the two have the stage set up with their gear. Beca sits on the stool situated on the stage, playing a riff on her guitar as she patiently waits for the rest of the band to arrive.
At first, she messes around with the notes, freestyling sounds before she finds it turning into a familiar riff. And she can't help but smile as she gets lost in the sound of electric.
Chloe and Jesse shuffle their way through the bar doors, the sound of a guitar taking over their ears. Before they even see who's playing it, they look to each other and mouth the word, "Beca."
Jesse ventures over towards Luke, who watches from the side as he sips from a drink whereas Chloe's eyes never stray from the brunette on stage. She closes the gap between herself and the stage, taking a seat at the edge of it as she stares up at the girl.
It's only then does Beca's eyes open from the trance she was in, them falling onto the redhead below her somewhat startled. But she eases back into the song, adding more volume to it.
"Sunshine of your Love, huh?" Chloe grins, sending her wink. Beca only chuckles before her gaze lands on Jesse hopping onto the stage and towards the drums. He adds a beat to the riff, and then before she knows it Luke's on bass. Which leads to-
"Get up here, red!" Beca calls down to her friend, tipping her head towards the mic.
Chloe stalls a second and looks like she's about to leave, but twists back around, jumping up onto stage and bursts out the chorus of the song. She beams wide as Beca walks over to sing along with her.
After a quick rehearsal and overview of the setlist, the bar suddenly becomes flooded with people; with some regulars, and some new folk around.
The band are off to side, Jonathan standing beside them.
"Okay Trebles," He says catching their attention from the 'audience' they have, "It's Friday night, which means the people are going to want good music. Now I know you guys are capable of delivering that, so go out there and put on one hell of a show!" He says, giving them a small pep-talk, hyping them as he does so. Beca and Jesse glance to one another before nodding.
"Let's do this guys!"
"Oh my god, that was insane!" Jesse gushes later that night after their set is over. There's a new band on the stag as the group of friends line up in a booth, drinks in each of their hands.
"You're telling me," Luke agrees in all his British charm, nursing his beer. He sits next to the brunette boy, with Chloe to his right and Beca beside her.
Tipping her beer bottle towards him, Beca nods, "Agreed." She chuckle's, their bottles clashing together before taking a sip. To her left, she notices Chloe on her phone.
"Watcha' up to red?" She asks.
"Oh, just texting Aubrey." She replies, setting the phone down before angling herself more towards Beca now that the boys seem to be in conversation.
"Posen?" Beca furrows her brow.
Chloe nods, "The one and only. She couldn't make it tonight and told me to text her how we got on." She explains. "We did aca-awesome." She then adds with a smirk.
"I knew I shouldn't have let you sign up for that acapella group." Beca says, her eyes downcast as she plays along, looking defeated.
She feels Chloe bump her shoulder, "Hey, I got you to sign up for that as well!"
"My biggest mistake was saying yes to that." She admits, taking another sip before setting the bottle down.
"As if you'd say no to me." Chloe teases, leaning in with a giggle. Beca brings her hand up to wiggle a finger in the girl's face, "You see those?" She gestures to Chloe's eyes, "Those are your killer weapons. No one could say no to those big blues."
"Awe, how sweet." Comes a new voice out of nowhere making everyone's head snap up. Stood at the end of the booth was-
"Chad!?" Chloe calls out, sounding confused. She slides her way out of the booth, purposely landing on Beca making her groan, before standing before her boyfriend. "What are you doing here? I thought you had work?"
She leans in to hug him and Beca can't help but notice that he seems to be sending her some kind of death glare.
She shakes it off by taking a nice large gulp of her beer.
"I was able to leave early." He says, bringing his gaze back to the redhead, "Besides... I couldn't miss my girls first gig, now could I?" He catches Beca's eye once again, but only for a split second. His grin looks way to proud as he brings his hand to Chloe's waist pulling her in close. "Hey, my friends are at this club nearby, I was thinking we could go down there?"
"What?" Chloe's brows furrow. "You... you want me to just ditch my friends for yours?"
"Well..." He trails off, rubbing at his neck, "Yeah."
And oh god, Beca wants to punch this douche so much right now, it's not even funny.
But she chooses to scoff, instead standing from the booth before making her way towards the bar, her shoulder shoving past Chad's rather roughly. She fails to notice Chloe's eyes following her as she takes a seat at the stool.
"So, what do you say?" Chad asks, his eyes hopeful, bringing her out of her daze.
"Chad..." Chloe sighs, taking a step back. She catches sight of Beca again, now conversing with the bartender and shakes her head no. "I can't... just abandon my friends for you."
"But I'm your boyfriend, Chloe!" He exclaims, his voice rising in tone.
"Yeah, but Bec-" Chloe stops herself, taking a deep breath. She then gestures to the booth, "But these are my best friends. I've known them all my life. They're my family and this was our firstgig."
Beca now chooses to slowly begin walking back to their booth, keeping her distance but enough to hear the conversation.
"So...?" Chad raises his eyebrows, "My friends have got VIP access and-"
"You just don't get it, do you?" Chloe snaps, not caring that her voice is raised. "You know what?" She says side-stepping him, "If you're going to be like this, then maybe we shouldn't be together."
"Are you serious?!" Chad exclaims. "You're breaking up with me just because I want to hang out with my own friends and not with your mediocre band, not to mention that dyke of a best friend of yours?"
"You've stepped over the line there, mate," Luke voices from his seat, catching his attention.
"Fuck off, mate. This isn't any of your business."
Luke slams his drink down on the table, almost smashing it in the process causing Chad to flinch back.
"Okay, easy there boys," Jesse tries to diffuse, standing from the booth. He notices that a few people are staring at them, "We don't want to bring attention to ourselves."
Chloe shakes her head at Chad, "We're done." She says, moving past him towards the exit. Before she can make it, she feels a grip on her wrist pull her back. "Chad, let go of me!"
She glares at him and as he goes to mutter a word, a fist is flying in his direction, hitting him square on the nose. His hand automatically flies to the wound as he stares up at his attacker.
"You son of a bitch!" He angrily screams at Beca, who only smirks at him. "You broke my nose!" He whines out.
"You know..." Beca starts, "I've been wanting to do that for a while now."
Suddenly Jonathan makes an appearance from behind the bar, "What the hell is going on over here?"
"That bitch attacked me!" Chad cries out, point towards Beca as his nose continues to gush blood.
Jonathan turns towards the girl, "Is this true?"
"He was harassing Chloe." Beca explains.
The older man only nods, "Well, I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask you all to leave." He says to her, before turning to Jesse and Luke, "You two, go get your gear packed up." As he goes to leave, he twists over to them once again, "Oh and your set tonight was really great. The guys and gals in here loved it. So, I'll see you all again next week?"
"For sure," Jesse says, with a smile.
"Hey, do me a favour," Jonathan looks down to Chad, "Get the fuck out of my bar."
It's around midnight when the four of them stumble back to Luke and Beca's shared apartment. They'd stopped on their way at a 24-hour store to stock up on liquor and gas before deciding that it was best if they crashed together that night.
Beca and Luke had moved in together not long after high school, they both were the 'originators' of their band and had first started out as a DJ duo. Beca more-so than Luke. Then Chloe and Jesse sang in for vocals one day on a track that the brunette had produced and suddenly came to realize that they clicked well as a band.
Which leads them to now, 3 years later with only one gig under their belt as a band and crammed into a small apartment on the outskirts on New York.
Sitting around the small living area, they pass around a whiskey bottle, each taking a sip. They joke about their childhood and share inside jokes. Chloe leans her head on Beca's shoulder as Beca lays her feet across the coffee table in front. Luke's sat on the floor below Beca, his own head lazily bumping against her calf whereas Jesse's sat on the armchair beside them, the whiskey bottle in his hand.
"I think it's time we call it a night." He announces, his voice slurring slightly.
"I second that." Luke says. Ungracefully, he lifts himself off the floor, holding his hand out to the brunette boy who takes it. They lean on each other for support as they stumble their way to the Brit's room, leaving Beca and Chloe the couch to themselves.
A few moments of silence go by, the faint sound of the clock ticking in the background before either of them speak.
Chloe's the first as she raises her head to glance up at the girl, "Hey, Bec?"
"Hmm?" Beca responds, lazily drawing circles on Chloe's hand, which is splattered across her wait.
"You didn't have to punch Chad you know."
"Yeah, I know..." Beca nods, "But I wanted to."
"Why?"
"Cos' he's a douche and doesn't treat you right." Beca replies, not even needing time to think about it. "You're honestly incredible, you know?" She continues, her voice low, making this moment seem almost intimate, "You're Chloe Beale for crying out loud. You're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen and probably will ever see. You're the sunshine to my raincloud, you're-" With a sigh, Beca pauses, her movements stilling.
"What?" Chloe eases, bringing her hand to Beca's.
"You just deserve so much more than him, that's all." Beca shakes her head, leaning it back on the edge of the couch as she shuts her eyes.
Chloe toys with her fingers as she replay's the girl's words in her head. Her eyes flicker over Beca's face, over the curve of her cheeks, her lips, her nose, her eyes and decides to make a conscious decision that could change the relationship she has with Beca.
For either worse or for good.
Raising her head from the brunette's shoulder, she leans ever so slightly up, so that she's almost level with her. Taking a shaky breath, she tips her head forward so that her lips gently fall onto Beca's.
She feels Beca tense up and her eyes snap open. Leaning back, she stares into Beca's confused wide eyes, they flicker between each one before gazing back down towards her lips.
Beca finds herself doing the same and without thinking leans in to capture Chloe's lips with her own. The kiss itself is fast and needy, nothing like either of them would expect their kiss together to go, but neither complaining.
Beca's hands hold onto the side of Chloe's face as Chloe's grip onto the collar of Beca's shirt. Her hands slip between the gap at the top, sliding over her collarbone's before creeping up to her neck to pull her in closer.
Sighing into the kiss, Beca's hands fall to Chloe's waist as she angles her head to deepen the intense lip-lock. Pulling back for air, she's left breathing heavy into Chloe's face, their breath mingling between them.
"What are we doing?" She asks, her eyes focused on Chloe's lips.
"Let's not think about that," Is what Chloe replies with before crashing their lips together again.
From that night on, neither said a word to each other about the kiss, yet they'd find themselves back in the same situation. Whether it was because they were drunk, or it was after a gig, or even when sober just hanging out in Beca's room, Beca and Chloe would always find themselves lip-locked again.
Which brings them back to the present. They just completed, once again, another successful gig at Jukebox Bar and are now inside the lady's bathroom.
Stumbling their way through the door in a fit of giggles, Chloe leans in to capture Beca's lips. "You were so good tonight!" She says into the kiss.
"Speak for yourself, red." Beca replies as she's backed into the door.
"I love it when you call me that," Chloe husks into her ear before kissing her way down Beca's jawline and neck.
"Is that so?" Beca smirks, "I'll keep that in mind." She says. Then suddenly uses her strength to back Chloe up against the counter, her hands flying to the girl's thighs to hoist her up onto the countertop.
"God, that was hot." Chloe can't help but say, her lips finding Beca's again. Her hands fly to the brunette's shirt, undoing the first couple at the top. She leans in to kiss the newly found skin, while continuing to undo the rest. When she reaches the bottom, she feels her hand hit the metal of Beca's belt and halts.
Pulling back, she stares into Beca's eyes.
"It's okay." Beca says, nodding her head.
Just as Chloe's about to undo the girl's belt, the door to the restroom flies open making the pair spring back from each other.
In comes a group of drunk girls, too drunk to take notice on what they just walked in on.
To: Beca Mitchell
From: dax residualheat
Yo, Beca! This is Dax from Residual Heat Records, based in Atlanta. I couldn't help but find your YouTube channel. Safe to say, I think your mixes are awesome. Not to mention your original tracks are pretty dope. I showed them to our head producer here, Sammy, and he believes you have some real potential to be a hit producer. He spoke to the head of department here and has managed to set you up for a Skype interview if you'd be interested in joining our label. If you wish to, let us know ASAP so we can begin.
Hope to have you with us soon!
Dax – Residual Heat Records.
Beca sits at the small kitchen counter in her apartment as she stares down at the screen in front of her.
She almost thinks this is a fake, but then she does research on the label and finds that it's real.
She's nearly 22 years old, her dream career is right in front of her but there's one thing that's stopping her.
Gentle arms wrap around from behind her as a head leans on her shoulder. And Chloe sighs into her neck before placing a soft kiss there.
"Good morning..." She mumbles, with a smile. Leaning back up, she reaches over to take hold of Beca's cup of coffee but halts as her eyes read over the email on the screen. Reading over it, once, twice, three times before letting out a shaky breath.
"Beca?"
Shaking her head, Beca turns in the chair to face, her. "I know, I know..." She says, running a hand through her hair. "I can't do this. I can't say yes-"
"Beca."
"I mean, how can I go work on music, solo, when I have a band-"
"Beca..."
"No, I won't do it-"
"BECA!"
Pausing, Beca brings her eyes to Chloe to find her beaming down at her.
"Beca, this is amazing!" She glee's pulling Beca out of the chair to bring her into a bone crushing hug.
"Wait, what?" Beca asks confused. "What about you guys?"
"What about us?" Chloe asks, once they've pulled back.
"You guys are my band members, my family... I can't go do music without you."
"Beca..." Chloe sighs, taking hold of her hands. "Ever since we were kids, this has been your dream. Not mine or Luke's or Jesse's."
"But-"
"No but's... you deserve this Beca. The reason the band ever got to the stage it's at now is because you produced our songs, you wrote the lyrics. You were the one who got us gigs and advertised us. You are who deserves this opportunity."
"So, you think I should go for the interview?"
"YES!"
"But... if I get this, I'll most likely be living in Atlanta." Beca reminds, her eyes downcast. "I..." Shaking her head, looks back to the laptop.
"What is it?" Chloe asks.
"I don't think I can leave you." Beca confesses, her gaze coming back to Chloe. "You're my everything..." She admits, her voice low almost distant.
It's been a wild ride, Beca thinks. Ever since that first night they kissed, her and Chloe haven't been able to keep their hands off each other. It's almost to the point where they'd consider themselves girlfriends but... unofficial. Chloe hasn't seen anyone else since kissing Beca and vice versa. Growing up, Beca always had had a crush on the redhead, the feeling only growing stronger as time went on. For Chloe, she'd always admired Beca. Her talents, her charisma, her charm, her love. And she'd later find in her late teen years that this was because she had fallen for the brunette but was convinced they'd never be together.
Now though, she knows that there is a chance that they finally could. But Beca's dream is more important than anything else. Or so she thinks.
"Becs..." She takes a step forward, "Please don't put me in front of your dream." She pleads, tipping Beca's face up towards hers.
"But-" Beca's interrupted by Chloe's index finger going to her lips. Chloe takes her finger away and replaces it with her lips, giving Beca a kiss fuelled with passion.
This kiss feels different from all their others. Those kisses were driven by hunger and lust, this is instead filled with love. This is what they thought their first kiss would feel like.
"I'm so proud of you, Beca." Chloe mumbles into the kiss.
...
The Skype interview went better than expected.
Beca got the job.
She flies out to Atlanta in 3 weeks.
Beca settles down into her new apartment in Atlanta one Friday evening. It's been just over a month since she left New York for her new job. Said job has been going really good for her, her boss, Sammy has shown keen interest in her after he heard a song she produced with a young girl named Emily.
Emily was a year or so younger than her, she was one hell of a lyric writer and singer. That combined with Beca's producing skills left for a great opportunity which they thankfully did not screw up.
Switching on the TV, Beca lets it run as background noise before searching for her phone. When she grabs hold of it, she taps the home screen and is met with a picture of her and Chloe.
The picture was taken a few months ago, just after a gig of theirs. They were sat in 'their' booth, Chloe's arm draped over her shoulder as she grinned into the kiss she had planted on Beca's cheek.
Beca smiles at the memory, but it quickly fades as she remembers that Chloe's currently in New York, probably with some new dude, having completely forgotten about her and is probably engaged and ready to have kids-
Knock, knock, knock...
Furrowing her brow, Beca glances to the door.
Knock, knock, knock...
Getting up, she makes her way towards the door with cautious steps. Reaching the handle, she twists it open only to find-
"Chloe?!"
"Becs!" Chloe squeals launching herself at the brunette. Beca catches her just in time, almost tripping over backwards.
"What the hell are you doing here!" Beca asks, holding Chloe tight to her.
"I wanted to come see you." Chloe says, pulling back from the embrace, "I have some exciting news for you."
"Yeah?" Beca eye's her warily. She then remembers that Chloe's bags are still out in the hallway- wait, bags? "Why... do you have these with you?" Beca questions, bringing the luggage into the room before closing the door behind her.
"That's kind of what I wanted to talk to you about." Chloe says, looking sheepish. "After you left, I felt empty. Like there was a part of me missing and I came to realize that I made the wrong decision." She takes a step forward, "I shouldn't have just let you leave like that, I should've come with you." She says. Biting her lip, she then goes on to explain, "I did research and found that there's a teaching programme around here, so I applied..."
"And?" Beca dares to ask, too scared of what she might hear.
"...I got accepted!" Chloe beams.
"You did?" Beca exclaims, a smile on her face.
"Yep!" Chloe nods.
"So... does that mean..." Beca gestures between them.
"We can finally be together?" Chloe finishes. "Yeah, we can."
Author's Note: FYI... Jesse and Luke were totally fine with Chloe moving to Atlanta. They may have even insisted she did.
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bellatrixobsessed1 · 5 years
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Wrought Iron Machine (Part 3)
The wail of Baatar’s guitar echos around the venue as it dies off. The sound of P’Li’s rhythm guitar had done so only seconds before. Taking a deep breath, Kuvira finishes off the acapella ending of the song. Once upon a time it had been a highly experimental move...to end a song with no instrumental backing. It had been a successful risk and it still does the trick when she decides to bring it back.
The crowd bursts into a series of cheers, claps and, whistles. Louder and more intense than she has heard in a long while. And, for a moment, Kuvira remembers the jubilation of their early days. For a moment,  she feels as though she has regained some of the band’s former traction.
She smiles down at the crowd and nods at their kind reception. It is the best she’s gotten since coming into the Fire Nation. She watches Ming toss her drumsticks into the air and then catch them again. It is something she does when she thinks that all eyes are on Kuvira and off of herself. This time she gets a few claps, so she does it again, this time giving the drums a few hits.
Kuvira lets the impromptu display continue until the woman has had a full on drum solo complete with drumstick twirling and throwing. Ming ends it with a with a final toss and a final hit. The crowd cheers and she flicks one of the sticks into the crowd and then the other.
P’Li and Gazhan mirror the action with their guitar picks. The crowd momentarily, but frantically congregates in the directions of them. Once all of the picks save for one per band member have been distributed, they take their bows. “You guys have been wonderful.” Kuvira notes. “I try not to pick favorites, but I think that this is one of our best crowds of this tour.”
Baatar nods in agreement.
“How would you all like to take a picture with us?” She asks. The act of taking pictures with the crowd is a relatively new tradition, a trend started by Fire Of Agni and a few bands like them. As much as she loathes to admit it, it is a brilliant idea. A way to commemorate things and bring in a little more revenue. It isn’t very easy to distribute the photos taken and their film reel is limited so they have to pick and choose which crowds to take the shots with. The rarity of the photos typically warrant decent money when their record label auction them off.
After claps and cheers of approval P’Li adds, “then give us your best Vaatu horns!”
Many years in and Kuvira still has to laugh at whoever coined that term. Vaatu didn’t have horns, more like flared out whisps. No less she faces away from the crowd and slings an arm around Baatar and makes the hand sign with her free hand.
The Hakodak camera flashes. It’s a fine model, she must say; a folding autographic model, black-brown in color. It isn’t the latest model, but it is nice enough to get the job done and still earn a few buyers. The camera flashes thrice more. Kuvira makes a mental not to look through the four images after they print and decide which one to keep.
She leads them backstage and listens to the whooping and hollering until it becomes a familiar chanting of their band name, rather a shortened version. “Wrought Iron! Wrought Iron! Wrought Iron!” She lets them continue for sometime, building up the anticipation. “I think that they’re ready for us to come back out.”
“Do we have to?” Gazhan asks earning him a glower from P’Li.
“Yes.” Kuvira answers. “We do. This is our best show in a long time. Let’s end it that way.” She leads them back out and stands before the crowd once more. The cheering intensifies until she believes that it is reaching its peak. Kuvira nods in approval.
They scream for her, for her band.
Staring out at them is like looking at an army awaiting orders from a general.
“I’d say that they’re in the mood for one more.” Baatar announces. He looks at Kuvira but she knows that he is addressing the crowd.
They give another collective and affirmative cheer.  
“I don’t know about that.” Kuvira replies, eliciting a more energetic round of applause. “Maybe they are, after all…” She trails off.
They begin chanting the band name again, it is nearly lost under cheers and whistles.
“Alright, but you’re all going to have to convince Ghazan.”
And they go from chanting the band name to Ghazan’s. It isn’t quite the response she had in mind, but it will do.
“Think you can handle this Ghazan?” P’Li asks.
Kuvira detects the taunt in her voice and goes tense. Raava, she hopes that they don’t start on stage. Not when they are having such a good night. And perhaps she is radiating this because Ghazan brushes the comment off and says, “I can. But can they?”  He points his guitar at the crowd and they go wild once more.
“I think that we’ve reached a decision.” Kuvira notes. “I suppose, since you’ve all been so kind, that we should play a new song.”
“You all will be the first to hear it.” Baatar adds.
The volume of the applause is greater than even before. This lot has a lot of energy. It lifts Kuvira’s spirit some. A smile spreads across her face, one that she couldn’t stop even if she had tried. Ming pounds out the first beats.
.oOo.
Kuvira flops onto the bed and blows out a tired breath. She ought to unravel her braid and shower, but she hasn’t the energy. She said that they’d play one more song, their new one. But she played at least three or four. Raava, that crowd had been a good one. It had made her feel like they were in their prime days.
“Are you going to get dressed for bed?” Baatar asks.
She gives a dismissive hand flap, too drained to do anymore.
“Fair enough.” He chuckles. “I guess I’ll just sleep in my day clothes too.”
Kuvira feels the bed dip as he crawls up next to her as he so often did. One of his hands slides to her hip and the other caresses her cheek as she presses her forehead against his. He kisses her good night. It is a rare moment, a moment where things aren’t so tense. A night so good that she can pretend that there is nothing wrong at all. Not with the band and not between the two of them.
She squeezes his hand.
She wants to savor the moment, to drag the night on. But sleep takes her without her consent.
.oOo.
As soon as the sun rises, Kuvira is thankful that she has scheduled an off day. She is sore all over and her eyes still feel so heavy. She pulls herself upright feeling sluggish as all hell. The stretches she does as she stands, do little to ease the tension in her muscles. It is a familiar ache the kind that came in wake of dancing while managing an expensive microphone. Raava had she missed dancing, she wonders why she had stopped doing so on stage. She thinks back, unfondly, of accidently falling off of the stage. Of the incident that really set in motion their steady fall from grace.
Sometimes, in sleep, the sound of her leg snapping still haunts her. It was such a sickly sound. A sickly feeling when the blood started welling and worse still, knowing that she couldn’t actually feel her leg. And faces, so many faces.
Watching.
Judging.
The magazines and newspapers had their work made for them.
Such a slow physical recovery had at least given her time to write songs, but that had hardly made up for the sheer amount of cancelled shows. They still had half a tour left. A waste it had been. A shameful waste. She thinks that, that is why it is hard for them to gain traction in the Fire Nation. They can no longer be trusted to stick to a schedule. The more she thinks about it, the harder it is for her to decide what exactly is doing the most damage; the falling popularity in their style of music or their own unexpected mishaps and shortcomings.  
Kuvira pinches the bridge of her nose, determined to think about something else. This isn’t how she wants to start her morning after such an optimistic performance. She motions for one of their firebender roadies to lightningbend their portable oven--another relatively new invention--in to useable condition and begins fixing herself a hot cup of green tea. She enters the time into the portable oven and puts the cup within.
As she waits for the thing to boil the water, she finds herself something to wear. Something very casual; a simple white T-shirt and a pair of green sweatpants. Baatar is already standing, shirtless, before the mirror when she gets there. Her eyes fall on the mechanical badger-mole he had tattooed on his chest during their first tour. He has another on his back, a large depiction of the mechsuit they had designed together. One day she ought to bring those costumes back on stage.
She watches him fumble with his small gauge earrings. She isn’t all that fond of them, but she makes no mention of it, especially since she had kind of brought it upon herself. She had been the one to suggest getting them in the first place and suggested that everyone in the band get at least one--some extra metal for an Zaofu based metal band.
While Kuvira has little ink of her own she admits to perhaps going  a little overboard with the piercings; an arch of rings on both of her brows—the final ring on her right brow linked by a small chain to a different piercing on her ear—a stud collar bone pierced, many more on her ears, and a lip ring. She has been considering getting a new nose stud.
She thinks of Ming-Hua. Ming who is a stark contrast to herself. Ming who isn’t as adventurous, she keeps it simple with only a small navel piercing… the woman didn't even get her ears pierced.
And then she thinks of P'Li  who is also pretty simple—the woman was more of a tattoo type. The only piercing she had gotten was one on her arm, a small ruby stud that acts as an eye for her fiery tigerdillo tattoo.
Ghazan is more like herself, having only one tattoo of Vaatu on his bicep but a collection of piercings. Most notably are his nipple rings, the man likes to make a point of reminding everyone of how much those had hurt. His ears are also pierced from top to bottom and more recently he had acquired himself some snake bites.
Kuvira squeezes next to Baatar and begins quietly unraveling her braid. In the mirror she sees Baatar lean in and slip his arms around her middle as he cranes his neck to press a kiss to the back of her own. Right on the one tattoo she does have; a lotus flower opening into a cloud of teeny music notes.
“How’d you sleep?”
“Very well.” She replies.
“Good to hear. And how is your throat?”
She lifts her hand and gives him a ‘so-so’ gesture. It could certainly feel worse. She hears her roadie call to tell her that her drink is done. “Join me for some tea?” She knows by now that he isn’t a fan of the drink, but she still likes to ask.
“I’ll pass.” He unhooks his hands and lets her return to her tea.
Staring into her cup she tries to come up with a way to keep last night’s momentum going. She hopes she can cling onto her spunk for at least two more shows. It could do the band wonders.
P’Li comes to sit next to her, slamming a magazine down onto the table with force enough to have some of Kuvira’s tea splattering on the table. “Look at this shit!”
Everything in the woman’s tone tells, Kuvira that she doesn’t want to. Either it is an article dragging them through the mud or something prising Fire Of Agni in a way they don’t deserve. No, she doesn’t want to know, but she looks anyhow.
Her nose crinkles in disgust. “That’s not the same picture is it?” She hopes that she is mistaken and that it is the one she’d already seen.
“Nope, brand new.”
If it is attention that the Fire Of Agni members want, they are certainly getting it. Kuvira tosses the magazine in the trash, thanking Raava that she’d never go that far for publicity.
What she doesn’t understand is why they need it, Fire Of Agni already has all eyes on them. Perhaps they want to completely overtake the spotlight.
The magazine glares up at Kuvira from the rubbish bin.
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s-o-n-de-r · 6 years
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The Final Vans Warped Tour: legacy, history and future
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The Vans Warped Tour ended in West Palm Beach, Florida, not with a bang, but with an anthem and a guitar toss. 
For those unfamiliar with the festival, it was the longest-running touring summer music festival since first launching back in 1995. And punk elders Pennywise, who were a reoccurring staple since their first slot on the tour in 1996, played the last set of the day on the last show of the tour, closing with their classic “Brohymn.” As the entire crowd and everyone on stage sang along with the iconic “whoahs” at the end of the song, guitarist Fletch Dragge tossed his guitar into the crowd.
And just like that, after fostering an entire community and subculture, the Warped Tour was finished.
The vacuum that Warped Tour has left is easier to understand for veterans of the punk rock summer camp. For anyone who has watched the tour grow from year to year, it’s an undeniable fact that there’s nothing else like Warped Tour, from all its faults to all its triumphs.
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For the alternative crowds, Warped Tour was a little haven where you felt at home. It spanned musical generations. It outlasted entire bands’ careers. The festival fertilized brands such as Volcom and Hurley. It broke bands out – one oft-mentioned example is pop superstar Katy Perry who, yes, cut her teeth Warped Tour. And, it participated in large philanthropic initiatives – one such being the canned food drive that would get fans skip-the-line passes and collect thousands of cans of food per day.
Warped Tour itself rarely took credit for any of these things. It always sort of chugged along, always in the background of the summer festival season as other names came and went. Yet, Warped Tour’s impact is immeasurable.
In the mid-2000s, after household names such as Green Day, Blink-182, and Sublime had gone through the festival, there was something magic going on. Music fans who were lucid and paying attention during that time were witnesses to something spectacular: pop-punk and emo broke out into the mainstream. You could find My Chemical Romance – a band whose gothic-dyed, theatrical music was all at once the biggest thing – on MTV’s music video rotation. Pop-punk brats Fall Out Boy were catching everyone’s ears. A band called Paramore had a girl with bright red hair, and they were stealing hearts. The 2005 Warped Tour (the only year to ever make a profit on ticket sales) featured all three of these bands at one point. Merch sales that year were through the roof. School let out for that summer, and everyone was dying to lose their shit at Warped Tour.
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Brooks Betts of Mayday Parade, a tour staple over the years. Mayday Parade earned a name for themselves like many other bands: by talking to fans in line at Warped Tour before the show and asking them to check out their music.
Punk rock stays the same, but culture changes at an alarming pace these days. Yet, Warped Tour had remarkable consistency. It’s also really easy to get caught in the mindset that the mid-aughts were the tour’s wonder years. Thanks to nostalgia and clear indication of what was popular at the time, Warped Tour back then seemed to be the glory days. But to write off the tour’s recent years would be a huge misstep.
Granted, angry internet warriors have roasted the annual Warped Tour lineup announcement since trolling has been a thing (founder Kevin Lyman has taken to shamelessly referencing and baiting these trolls in recent years), but the only serious criticisms it deserves are for certain policy decisions the tour made, rather than the lineup. In the 2010s, Warped Tour may not have had the same overall cultural draw, but it didn’t suddenly turned to C-rate, has-been bands to fill out the roster. All the cultural buzz that came with bands such as My Chemical Romance and Fall Out Boy may have faded, but Warped Tour kept trucking along and being the gatekeeper to tremendous music.
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The Maine. Vocalist John O’Callaghan is singing with a fan who he brought up on stage for “Girls Do What They Want” - something the band does almost every show.
The generation gap is important to why Warped Tour mattered, even in its last show. As the physicality of the music industry faded away, pop-punk left the mainstream, and social media introduced sweeping cultural attention deficit, it’s easy to think that Warped Tour’s impact also faded over the years. There was less of a fanfare to it, sure, but Warped Tour still had a finger on the pulse of alternative talent. What made it all different was that these bands were not blasted on TV or moving tons of CDs – they counted album streams and posted daily to social media. Relevant to our age, but arguably less visible. Bands could still make a name for themselves on Warped Tour, but it didn’t come with the same explosion of popularity as in the 2000s. Echosmith is one example of a recent Warped Tour alumnus. After playing a one-off in 2013, they were asked to join the whole tour, and they found success after the fact (they currently just finished a tour with acapella superstars Pentatonix).
In fact, in many ways, as the mainstream popularity of this style of music has faded, Warped Tour has felt like the last stronghold for the scene. When you have all these splintered shards of musical sub-communities created as a result of social media diaspora, it’s hard to see the whole picture except when Warped Tour brought it together. That’s why Warped Tour mattered, even in its later years, and why the void created in its absence is the definitive end of an era. No one knows what’s coming next or if anything will be created to fill in that magical space from June to August. Warped Tour wasn’t just the festival – it was the “everything else” around it: the artist-to-fan interaction, the constant sound of a band you don’t know playing, the endless amounts of merch, the dozens and dozens of tents, people hawking at you with megaphones, fans promoting band set times, the Buddhist guys, the running into friends, the bands trying to make a name for themselves hustling CDs in line before doors. Labels and bands would plan album releases solely around this summer run. It was make or break for a huge number of aspiring musicians.
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Walking into my first Warped Tour in 2007 was the culmination of a few years of anticipation (I had wanted to go to the 2005 tour, but I was too young and it would have been way too much for my parents). I’d like to think everyone’s first time with the tour was like this, but who knows? It was exhilarating, though. This subculture and community of music that I had only just started discovering a few years prior somehow took over a couple city blocks and was just there. People were handing out Monster energy drinks like candy. Some guy showed up to do the same for Trojan condoms. There were dudes with mohawks. I went to see a lot of bands, but I barely got halfway through the day when I realized that Warped Tour was so much more than a festival. It was keeping a subculture alive. Hell, it was keeping many multiple subcultures alive. I doubt the guys seeing The Casualties in 2010 were the same guys interested in watching Breathe Carolina. But both groups of people were there. This effect became increasingly noticeable in later years, when bands who were once on top were on a downswing, touring smaller club venues in the fall and winter and playing to 300 people, but playing to thousands at Warped Tour. Warped Tour got everyone out.
Eleven years later, on the eve before the beginning of the end in Orlando (I went to Orlando, Tampa, and West Palm Beach, the last three shows in Florida), I had the exact same sense of anticipation as I had when I was a 15-year-old kid.
The vast majority of “regular” things in life don’t last even half as long. I can think of a total of one friend I’ve been close to during that entire length of time. But almost everything else has come and gone.
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Also over those years, I went from an excited kid who was into alternative music to an independent journalist and photographer, gaining a sense of attention toward the trends and motifs of the tour. This peaked last year, when I attended Full Sail University’s live stream of the 2017 lineup on behalf of sonder. I sat in a room with a group of my peers, mostly other independent media outlet reporters, and participated in a Q&A with Lyman. In that room, there was no indication that next year’s tour would be the last, but I found myself believing for the past couple years that the tour was living on borrowed time anyway. All good things must come to an end, and despite maintaining good lineups, Warped Tour’s critical mass had been reached already. That’s why, when the announcement did come, it was a sad moment, but not unsurprising.
Warped Tour’s final moments occurring in Florida seemed a bit strange. Florida is a deeply unpleasant place in the summer. Our heat is high, our humidity thick. The sun is unrelenting and harsh. Aggressive electrical rain storms can and will sidetrack the day (which has happened plenty of times). Bands hate Warped Tour in Florida. Why not end the tour in California? Despite all of this, moods remained stable. Wandering around load-in and side stage, there was definitely a detectable presence of “the end.” There was some relief, some sadness, and some nostalgia. Crew members shook hands and hugged. But there was also a sense that this was all arguably a formality, and that this had been something coming for a while.
In Tampa, I walked into one of the main stage equipment trailers and taped on the walls were photos taken by Sean Stitt, one of the truck drivers who’s been with the tour for years. The sadness of the last Warped Tour hit me in that moment, as I realized it was the last time this trailer would be making its way around the country for the festival. Would the photos stay up? They’re just monuments to a past era now.
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JR of Less Than Jake. The ska band played an enormous number of shows during Warped Tour’s run, and those shows were usually filled with shirt cannons, toilet paper launchers, and more.
Warped Tour chose to express its longevity in the lineup of its final run. Many of the bands had a history with the tour: Bands such as Every Time I Die, Mayday Parade, Chelsea Grin, and Reel Big Fish have been repeats for years. The Maine and 3oh!3 were scene wunderkinds during the tail end of that MTV era. One-off and short-run bands such as Sum 41, Taking Back Sunday, Underoath, The Used, and Four Year Strong all helped define the scene in the new millennium. Less Than Jake had the accomplishment of being the band to play the most amount of shows in the tour’s history – nearly 440 at the final count in West Palm Beach.
It wasn’t just nostalgia, but there was certainly a strong element of it. Mayday Parade played plenty of songs from their 11-year-old breakout record A Lesson In Romantics. The Maine played a few songs from their 2008 neon piece Can’t Stop, Won’t Stop (but with decidedly less emo hair swoops). 3oh!3 moved the entire festival with scene crunk songs “DONTTRUSTME” and “STARSTRUKK.” Warped Tour was never a place for deep cuts, but there seemed to be a deliberate emphasis on some “old” stuff.
A focus on nostalgia is understandable given that it was the last. After all, there’s so much history in the tour. Trying to parse it all is a monumental task. But you can enjoy looking back on the whole of it. Most of the bands and crew have been on it before, so there’s memories lurking in the venues of different times.
Of course, most people didn’t dedicate their lives to this tour. The folks who can say they’ve been to every Warped Tour as a fan are few and far between, and they’re not young anymore. And there are certainly those who feel the tour’s end is far past due. And even more who were just plain apathetic. In West Palm Beach, I overheard a guy talking about how he’s “so glad this shit is over. The lineup hasn’t been good in 10 years” and how he “met Katy Perry when she was jack shit.” Warped Tour is certainly due certain criticisms, and has been yelled at for years for “selling out,” but it endured, even when the culture changed to accommodate weekend blowout festivals as opposed to traveling ones.
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Travis Clark from We The Kings joined 3OH!3 on stage. Both bands had played Warped Tour a number of times before.
This is why there’s a sense people aren’t hung up over its end. People are tired. People are aging. Things have changed. Engagement is down. Warped Tour was due an explosive end, anyway – much more fitting than a slow fizzling out.
That fatigue and burnout is may have contributed to the tour’s end, but it reflects the industry at large, and you have to wonder if Warped Tour’s end will refresh the system we currently have. There’s certainly an argument to be made that bands have gone for a “Warped Tour-ready” sound and that the tour having a monopoly on most of the United States during the summer often meant the only way you’d be seeing your favorite band was by seeing their 30-minute Warped Tour set. No Warped Tour means that the summer touring slot has suddenly opened up to a reality more like fall, spring, and winter tours, where bands often stack bills and get to play more than eight songs.
That being said, these are small prices to pay for the function Warped Tour fulfilled. Warped Tour was the stitching that’s been holding our little alternative community together. There was almost always a sense of camaraderie at Warped Tour, whether back stage or in the fields. That was camaraderie on a person-by-person level, but also in a much deeper, communal sense. I think this is what kept Warped Tour around so long – over time, you could develop a sense of bond to both the festival, the people around it, and the music within it. In the end, there’s only so much you can say to try to convince people into the experience. It’s sort of a “you had to be there” thing. A lot of people don’t “get it;” it’s the “it’s not a phase, mom!” of tours.
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All of this considered, it’s mostly the unknowns that stir curiosity in this post-Warped Tour era. The tour did a lot of things, kept a lot of machines moving, stood tall as the last big traveling festival in the United States (even on a basic logistics level, what Warped did every summer is astounding), but now it’s gone, and there’s a vacuum. Things will survive without it. Punk rock isn’t going anywhere. But all of the questions that it leaves in its absence are really the interesting part of the story. We’ll start seeing answers come next summer. But you also have to wonder, in a fast-paced world that already feels nostalgic toward the likes of My Chemical Romance, 2000s neon pop-punk, and the shtick of that all, if that same yearning will bring Warped Tour back from the dead in a decade or so. Or maybe we’ll get something entirely new. Either way, it’s a completely new era now. In the absolute final moments of the tour, when Pennywise finished playing, Lyman closed it out, handing the legacy to the fans:
“I still have lots of plans, but it’s time for you guys to take over the world. Take over the world.”
Words and photos by sonder editor Andrew Friedgen. Like this? Sonder is an independent music, travel and photography publication at sonderlife.com. Give us a follow here or at our Twitter, Instagram or Facebook for more content like this!
Also check out:
The Maine photo gallery - Vans Warped Tour in Orlando
American Football: The emo anomaly
All of our Warped Tour stuff ever
Taking Back Sunday - Tampa, FL - photo gallery
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elanorjane · 6 years
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California Soulmates Ch 10
Summary: Pop princess Belle wants to write her own music and get out from under her father’s thumb. Single father Gold wants to put his failed music career behind him and get the hell out of L.A. When inspiration strikes, there’s only one problem…the songs they’re writing aren’t their own. They’re each other’s.
*“Telepathic soulmates” RCIJ for @beastlycheese A/N: This thing keeps growing in chapters because I’m trying this radical thing where I post an update every Monday whether I’m ready or not. Writing is hard. 
AO3 link
It was another thirty minutes after she pressed the leather pants into his hands that he had breakfast ready for them. It had been relatively easy for him to get dressed afterwards because she had him keep the pants on when she’d climbed on top of him. She’d obviously been playing out some sort of fantasy, not that he minded.
He hadn’t even remembered he had those pants. He assumed they’d disappeared with what remained of his music career and youthful swagger. She’d begged him to keep them on when they left for her soundcheck and he had, despite feeling damn foolish. But anytime he felt like an old man past his prime, he only had to look at her and see the man reflected back at him in her eyes. She squeezed his hand as they made their way across the parking lot and shot him a saucey smirk that made him wonder how they’d managed to make it out of his car in the first place.    
Psychic ability and sudden uptick in his sex life aside, Belle was an incredible woman. Yes, she was young and beautiful, but she wasn’t the pop singer writhing around on stage at the Staples Center or the woman lounging next to a bed on her album cover. She was by turns shy and bold. In her “new” clothes, she wasn’t some superstar plucked off the stage. She’d taken one of his white button down shirts with a hazel marrakech pattern on it and tied at the waist. She looked like the coolest girl at his favorite music festival.
He’d never brought a woman back to the apartment, for obvious reasons, and he’d rarely if ever spent the night at a woman’s place because he always wanted to be home for Bae. For thirteen year they’d lived a bachelor existence full of cereal for dinner, cold spaghetti for breakfast, guitars, and headphones. But Belle breathed new life into the apartment that barely fit one person but somehow suited the three of them perfectly. When she’d danced with him in the apartment, she’d moved not like a pro or a woman trying to seduce, though she had, but a woman who was in a moment of pure joy with him.
She’d called him Rumford a few times throughout the night and next morning and he hadn’t even cared. It sounded beautiful coming from her, just like Bae’s song. She’d thought he’d been angry that she’d recorded and released it. More painfully, it had made him wistful. It was how Bae should have heard the song, from two parents who loved him, not just him.
In these ridiculous pants, with Belle’s arm slung through his, it was as if the old part of his life and the new could coexist peaceably. Suddenly he was filled with hope and downright optimism. They didn’t have to leave Los Angeles. He knew this was insane, they barely knew anything about each other. Yet in his mind he was imagining ways they could rig up another barrier between Bae’s side of the room and theirs for privacy. The apartment would never work long-term, but it could do in the meantime while they looked for a bigger place. Nothing fancy, nothing they couldn’t afford together. They’d already talked about what they could do with the songs they wrote together. If she couldn’t record them, they could sell them to other artists since barely anyone in town wrote their own music anymore.
He’d been to the Hollywood Bowl for shows, but never got the opportunity to stride backstage like they were doing now. Watching her approach a stage that was all hers, he felt no jealousy. He could tell she was a caged bird, and an unhappy one, from the few times she’d mentioned her label and how restrictive they were. She never talked outright about how oppressive her management was, but he was getting the idea. He knew what they had together was an outlet, a release, for her in more ways than one.
She turned to him excitedly as she bound up the stairs. “What if I sang our rooftop song at the concert? They’d never let me, but I could do it acapella or acoustic if you cut it down to a few chords and teach me. Once I’m out there performing it, no one can stop me. They won’t rush the stage or anything.”
They came to a stop in the white cement hallway backstage. He was hesitant to let her go. They could be back home writing music together and ordering pizza with Bae. Instead he was leaving her to music industry piranhas who liked to dress her like a doll and wouldn’t give her an ounce of creative freedom.   
She looked up at him. “See you after? I’ll Uber back to your place.”
He leaned down to kiss her so she wouldn’t catch the dark thoughts showing on his face. “I’ll show you the chords tonight.” His hands were still on her hips and she wasn’t making any move to leave.  
“There you are!” Some assistant with a headmic rushed past them. “Mr. French has been waiting for you,” she scolded Belle, completely ignoring him.  
Mr. French?
Another assistant, equally unsympathetic to Belle, walked past them. “Moe’s so mad. You better have a good excuse. Everyone’s been wondering where you are.” This one paused long enough to give Gold a long up and down perusal where he stood, holding Belle’s hands in his. She must have found him wanting because she sniffed haughtily and turned on her heels.  
A loud whooshing sound rushed through his ears. His grip on Belle’s hands loosened.  
“Moe?” he said, his voice sounding very far away. “Did you say Moe Fr-”
“Where have you been?” a voice thundered. Belle jumped and he felt the reverberation in his arms. “You disappeared! Do you know how hard it was not to let the press find out?”
Gold barely registered his words. He knew that voice. Moe French. We own your songs now, boy.
Gold watched in passive dismay as the pompous figure of Moe French appeared in front of them.    
His eyes raked critically over Belle. “What are you wearing?” he demanded.
Belle visibly wilted. Her shoulders slumped and her eyes slid to the floor. Yet her hands gripped Gold’s hard. He wrenched one hand free.
“Moe French,” Gold ground out, the name still playing on a loop in his head. He couldn’t believe it. Out of all the record labels in this godforsaken town, she was on his.
Belle’s eyes popped up at his tone, alarmed.
Moe looked at him like he didn’t recognize him. Then his eyes narrowed. “Rumford Gold,” Moe chucked ruefully. “Are you still hanging around this town, old boy? Still trying to make it? I thought I’d chased you out a decade ago.” He put his hand on Gold’s shoulder, like they were old friends.
Gold jerked his body away, yanking his other hand out of Belle’s. The burn of past wounds ignited inside him. The band that had been his, the career he could have had, all those songs, all that young talent, wasted because of this man.
Belle stood between them, silently looking back and forth at the silent conversation she didn’t understand.
“Moe, we need you,” someone on staff called. “They’re requesting the okay on the set list and the costumes.”
Moe nodded and smiled, turning to follow the assistant. “Rumford Gold,” he snickered again, like Gold had told him a great joke he was still mulling over.
Gold whipped around to face Belle, recrimination in his eyes.
“Moe French? Moe French is your manager?” he accused.
“Well, yes,” she squeaked. Like he was already supposed to know. Then she said something even more devastating. “He’s my father.”   
Her father. Belle was Moe French’s daughter. Belle French. He was sleeping with and planning a future with the daughter of the man who single-handedly ruined his life.
At some point he’d begun to pace. He rubbed his hands over his face, the past 24 hours playing over in his head. What had he missed? How could this have been avoided?   
“Rum-” she reached out towards him.
He whirled away from her. “He took my songs, Belle. He stole my record and ended my career,” he ranted.
“Wha-” she shook her head. “I don’t understand.”
Now Gold was laughing, the maniacal laugh of a man who, just when he thought he had found something, discovered he’d lost everything. The classic joke life played on the fool. Turns out his past and his future couldn’t coexist. They were the same damn thing.
“You never told me your last name,” he said. “‘I’m Belle,’” he parroted her introduction from the previous night back to her in a high pitched voice. “You knew. You knew I’d know who your father was and you didn’t tell me.”
“What did it matter?” she cried angrily. “You weren’t with him you were with me! I am not my father.” She shook her head, “I don’t know what my father did to you. But I’m not him. I’m not ‘Belle,’” she spat. “I’m not ‘Moe French’s daughter.’ I’m me,” her voice cracked. “I’m only me. And I thought you knew that,” she sobbed.
She stood there, tears falling from her beautiful blue eyes. But he couldn’t see them. All he could see was Moe French’s daughter.   
Which is why it was so easy for him to turn his back on her and walk away forever.  
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iimaginedragons · 6 years
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album review
“pray for the wicked” -- panic! at the disco [2018]
the highly anticipated sequel to the commercially successful “death of a bachelor” album by emo pop punk gone alternative band panic! at the disco is here, and i decided that it would be the perfect start for my new album review segment. i’ll break this down track by track in a moment, but first, some background and overall impressions.
although i can’t call myself a longtime panic! fan as i only really discovered their entire discography less than a year ago, i definitely enjoy their music a lot. i’m kind of glad that i wasn’t there from the start, since i was able to really enjoy “death of a bachelor” when i first found it without having any attachment to their previous sound, since i hadn’t heard it before. if you saw my chaotic rant about p!atd a few days ago, i ranked my favourite albums of theirs, “a fever you can’t sweat out” taking the top spot with “death of a bachelor” in second. from what i’ve seen within the fandom, this seems to be an unpopular opinion since they’re so different. since i absolutely love these two very different eras of panic!, and i figured that this put me in a perfect place to await “pray for the wicked”; i felt ready for basically any sound and i also felt like brendon was really going to hit his prime as the sole remaining member of panic! especially after a “début” of sorts with “death of a bachelor.”
however, as a whole, i felt let down by this album, especially after such promising singles. although there were many positives in “pray for the wicked”, it was also riddled with problems all throughout. here’s my opinion on each track along with my analysis of what went right and what went wrong on this album.
#1 -- “(fuck a) silver lining”
when this song was first released a while ago along with “say amen (saturday night)” i really only thought it was “okay”. i think that compared to the big roaring chorus and instrumentation on the other track, this one fell sort of short. however, after more listens, i really came to appreciate the bass in the verses, the brass on the chorus, as well as the vocal hook on the chorus, which i initially didn’t like because the lyrics “fuck a” felt awkward to me -- now, however, i feel like i’ve absorbed the beat of it a little more and i actually really enjoy it. also, it took me several listens to hear brendon’s high notes in the ending chorus since i was initially so irked by and hung up on the “awkward” lyricism, but they’re absolutely incredible. say what you will about his music, but this man can sing. the whole idea of this song, of nothing ever being good enough or totally okay despite silvers linings also really grew on me. overall, i think this is one of the strongest tracks on the album and it’s definitely a song that i’ve been and will continue coming back to listen many times around.
#2 -- “say amen (saturday night)”
i was very glad this song came on right after “(fuck a) silver lining”, because this one impressed me right off the bat and still does to this day. the vocals are clean, the subtle guitar fits very well, and the brass in the chorus works within the heavy alternative beat in this amazing way that p!atd can do. the long high note is obviously impressive as hell, but i also feel like the bridge’s low notes deserve some praise too. this track feels like a strong evolution from the style in many “death of a bachelor” songs, such as “emperor’s new clothes” and “crazy=genius” which are among my favourite panic! songs of all time partially due to their thickly produced alternative choruses. i think this is truly the song that got me the most excited for the new album because it’s so grand and well-mixed. it was smart of brendon to release this one first, commercially speaking, as it got really positive reviews. sadly, i feel like it ultimately came to bite him in the ass as hardly any other songs on “pray for the wicked” were able to live up to this one. 
#3 -- “hey look ma, i made it”
here’s where we unfortunately start getting into some problems. the album was obviously going very well so far, but i was especially excited for the first song that i had yet to hear, and man, was i ever let down. i feel like since this is a positive anthem with a shoutout to his mom, fans will jump all over this song; not me, sorry. we have some lukewarm vocals over a synth riff that just doesn’t do it for me at all, and a simple mellow pop beat, which is really not typical of panic! who i’ve always found to have excellent percussion, or else enough of the other things to make up for weaker drums. i also find the lyrics weak and tacky, your usual motivational, shrug off the haters and follow your dreams song. the vocal melody, especially, in the verses, is beyond dull to me. i really don’t like the “boo-hoo” before the chorus -- that’s probably what i detest the most about this track. i know it’s meant to be funny and it’s obviously sarcastic, and who doesn’t love sarcasm, right? this, however, isn’t sarcasm done right; it’s sarcasm done lazily and stupidly. brendon could have come up with a clever line or something like we all know he can, but no, we’ve got “boo-hoo”. i don’t like the trap-inspired beat on the second pre-chorus and the final chorus either; it doesn’t fit the song. i can’t say that there are many panic! at the disco songs that i would skip when listening to an album, but this is certainly one of them, unfortunately.
#4 -- high hopes
i enjoyed this one a lot when it first came out, since i get major “death of a bachelor” vibes from it. although it encorporates many aspects of mainstream pop (which isn’t inherently a bad thing of course) such as the clicking percussion in the intro, it is done well because it is cohesive with the rest of the production, notably a far more varied vocal melody, a hook that’s actually catchy, and excellent brass, all of which the previous track on the album totally lacked. although this is another motivational anthem, the lyrics aren’t awkward to me and the rhymes flow far better; they feel natural rather than forced (a fairly common problem on many tracks of this album). i think for me the vocals really make this song, as well as again, that heavy chorus. i love that acapella bit near the end, then the entrance of another typical pop build up for the rest of that chorus before finally landing into the chorus’s final renditions. i’ll stress this again: the drums, horns, and vocal melody are crafted well enough to surround and embellish the mainstream pop aspects of this song, make it different, and increase its substance; that, to me, is what alternative music is all about. this is also among the strongest tracks on the album for me.
#5 -- roaring 20s
the start of this song really caught me off guard, but i immediately had a good impression about it. i’m really gonna discuss the lyrics on this one because i’m super conflicted on it. immediately i got a “don’t threaten me with a good time” vibe, especially with the phrase “this is the strangest of summers” and the previous lyrics. however, the following lyric, “maybe i’ll medicate, maybe inebriate” is super problematic for me; this is one of those instances where the rhyme feels forced and a bit basic. same with “maybe i’ll smile a bit, maybe the opposite” -- i mean the syllables are counted just right, the words are similar and simple... it just feels extremely weak to me, as if literally any novice songwriter could have written it. i find the pre-chorus very good, and the ensuing hook “this is my roaring 20s” is fine as well, but let’s talk about “roll me like a blunt ‘cause i wanna go home”; i hate it, i think it’s absolutely stupid and it could have been tweaked just a tad to make sense (i mean, it comes up later as “roll me a blunt ‘cause i wanna go home” which makes a hell of a lot more sense and could have a deeper meaning -- is he only at home when he is high? it would totally work as the regular chorus line for the whole song if the vocal melody was altered just a tad). it’s unfortunate because i was willing to overlook the simple rhymes earlier because sonically, i find this song very catchy and unique (love the 20s vibe), but man, those lyrics... i will say this, though: it has been bothering me far less with more listens -- the sound is gradually making up for the poor lyricism everywhere (it only gets worse with the second verse). time for a huge positive score though, probably the best thing that came out of a non-single song on this entire album for me: the slowed down, 20s take on the second last chorus. i find it so incredible, well-placed within the song, and perfectly executed. it sounds authentic enough but somehow also fitting in a modern alt pop album -- i don’t know how he does it. for me, it makes the entire song worth listening to; i soldier on through the shit verse lyrics just to hear what i find to be a huge sonic achievement for not just this song or album, but for panic! in general. as i mentioned earlier, there’s also that modified lyric in the chorus that sounds far better. i kind of wish that every chorus had been like that sonicallt, but i don’t know if it would have had the same incredibly exciting effect that it had on me the first time i heard it; thanks to that, this track is the only non-single one that i’ve really been listening a lot. also, a little sidenote i just thought of: this is really the “stay frosty royal milk tea” of this album for me; i really like it sonically but the lyric issues are cringey -- let’s hope i can eventually overlook them as i mostly have with the fall out boy track.
#6 -- dancing’s not a crime
this song kicks off with a really exciting vibe aside from the obnoxious chopped electronic sample -- i like the guitar and brass as well. i’m really not a fan of the chorus, i mean lyrically it’s weak, but as i’ve been stressing this entire time, if you have enough of everything else to embellish a weaker part of a song, it can work, especially with the amount of layers there are in alternative music thanks to heavy production; here though, it just doesn’t work for me, as the drumming and bass are pretty weak as well. i’m not a fan of brendon’s vocals on the chorus either, he sounds like he is straining too much (i have heard people give the same complaint about “high hopes” and a few other p!atd songs on other records as well, which i can understand, but i guess it’s really up to personal interpretation because i personally love the vocals on “high hopes”). i think my biggest problem with this entire song is that i find it very tacky. i understand that he was sort of going for a broadway vibe on certain parts of this album, which works in some places and not at all in others; this is one of those “others”. the issue isn’t really that the song’s about dancing which in and of itself has come to be seen as a tacky theme in music; it’s more so a lack of effort in trying to make it not tacky that saddens me. the brendon that we’ve seen over the years has written of pretty common themes in music such as sex, cheating in relationships, drugs, and partying in general, but has done so in such refreshing unique ways. i’ve personally always admired his ability to make a party song that’s always a bit “too deep” to be your typical party song -- a prime example of that, again, is “don’t threaten me with a good time”; sure, it’s goofy at times, but it’s clever and it also has this dark, almost sad undertone, as if conveying already the regrets of the following days. here, however, i hear only a surface level song that tries too hard to be a jam and not hard enough to be an actually well-rounded song.
#7 -- one of the drunks
what i just talked about in terms of party related lyrics applies very well again to this track. the verse is very basic and very un-panic!-ish -- to me it sounds like something maroon 5 would write (and i really don’t mean that as a compliment). the guitar and beat in the chorus are alright, they’re mellow but in a good way this time -- i honestly don’t really have any particular problems with the chorus, but it’s also nothing special either. another one of my issues with these verses though is the very short, choppy statements; i mean, he’s not even writing fucking sentences. if you’re into that, then it’s okay i guess, but personally i like full or half sentences rather than just individual or very small groups of words just being sort of tossed around, you know? i like a cohesive statement; doesn’t have to be a story with perfect flow, but i don’t mind some sense of time and direction rather than feeling as though i am floating around in this cloud of space where words are just being chucked at me left and right with what seems to be very little thought behind them. this style of lyricism also reminds me of lots of current trap and trending hip/hop, which i find to be very weak genres lyrically-speaking. i think this song also tried to convey that “hidden sadness/depth within the party song” that i mentioned earlier, and although i do kind of feel it in the chorus, i find the vocals and production don’t convey it as well as they could have. i don’t like the bridge, but it does make that last chorus pop a hell of a lot more. this one isn’t a song i’d purposely skip, but it wouldn’t really be my first choice to listen to at any point either.
#8 -- the overpass
again, another track with an extremely promising start. that brass, those bongos... and then our typical high energy p!atd breakdown, followed by some awesome vocals and bass -- i mean i was feeling very good about this song, probably better than any other non-single start that i’d heard on the album thus far. i like the sound of the chorus, but i wouldn’t call it grand either -- i’m also not a fan of the repetition right at the start: “meet me, meet me, at the overpass, at the overpass”. i know brendon is clever enough to fill that in with some variation; it feels lazy. the vocal run before the bridge is clean and beautiful, yet the strings (which i felt lacked both quality and quantity on this album in general) on the bridge reminds me a bit of a watered down “(fuck a) silver lining” and i dislike the way brendon articulates those lyrics. although it isn’t super impressive and got a pretty positive reaction out of me initially mostly because it’s preceded by two bummers and a problematic fave, this is honestly not a bad song. there isn’t too much that’s really “wrong” with it (as you saw, i was being pretty fucking nitpicky), though of course, “not a bad song” is not a great compliment in comparison to what we are used to saying about panic!’s work.
#9 -- king of the clouds
despite being the shortest track on “pray for the wicked”, this song undoubtedly makes up in quality what it lacks in length. i was initially annoyed at brendon for dropping a fourth single since we already knew that the album was only going to be eleven songs and it was coming out in like a week anyways, so i tried to boycott it so as not to spoil the album for myself -- two minutes later i was listening, and i fell so hard for this absolute jam that i couldn’t even be angry. the acapella intro with all those layers sounds heavenly, especially as i am lucky enough to own a solid pair of beats headphones through which to experience it. that electric guitar lick hooked me immediately and i was just immersed in this song from then on out. heavy alternative production dominates, reminiscent for me of "friction”, “gold”, “smoke and mirrors”, “i’m so sorry”, and a few others off of imagine dragons’s “smoke + mirrors” album, a deliberately overproduced alternative record that just so happens to be my personal favourite of all time. the roaring chorus just demands to played at full blast. the lyrics are decent; not as existential as brendon intended them to be, but catchy nonetheless. the “below the sun” rhyme sounds, again, a bit forced, but within such a powerful track i can forgive it. the strings are really awesome here (probably their best spot in the entire album), and the outro vocals are great as well. this all sort of brings on an interesting idea for me; if you’ve been keeping up with panic! lately, you may have heard brendon discuss the making of “king of the clouds” and the fact that it was created very quickly and added to the album only an hour before their due date. for some reason, it just bothers me that my favourite and one of strongest songs on the album was created in so little time, whereas tracks like “hey look ma, i made it” were done way before and are far inferior in quality to me. it begs the question of what the fuck was he doing the entire time before the creation of “king of the clouds”? i mean “say amen (saturday night)” and other previously mentioned songs are strong and i can see time being dedicated to writing and producing them, obviously, but if it took brendon the rest of that time (aka any time way longer than it took him to make “king of the clouds” and the other strong songs) to craft something like “dancing’s not a crime”, i'd say that’s honestly kind of sad. i don’t mean to insult brendon’s work ethic; i just find that for the creativity that we know he still has to this day thanks to the “death of a bachelor” album as well as songs like “king of the clouds”, it’s disheartening to see final products like the mediocre at best songs i’ve described above. anyway, this is my personal favourite song off the entire album, i think it’s very well done.
#10 -- old fashioned
after what i just wrote on brendon, i feel kind of guilty because i love and respect him so much, so i really wish i had something nice to say right now about this next song... yet we open on this low horn type sound that i’m really not a fan of. thankfully it fades into the background, making place for a verse with a guitar style that sounds like it was sampled directly from the second verse of “say amen (saturday night)” -- the lyrics are okay in the beginning, yet the chorus is weak and the strings don’t fit the rest of the song at all. the “dead and gone so long, seventeen so gone” hook sounds like everything that is wrong with current mainstream pop. then for the bridge, we mix this broadway-like sound with nice brass, which works, but then we’ve also got the “say amen (saturday night)” type guitar and our current basic beat, getting this strange combination that really doesn’t work sonically for me. also, “get boozy”? like... really? i’m sorry, but to me that’s a pretty pathetic bridge. overall, this song is just not very exciting, and i don’t understand the thought behind so many of the sonic transitions, especially that final chorus. this is among the worst on the album for me.
#11 -- dying in la
my immediate thought with this one was “good on panic! for ending on a ballad again” as it really worked on their last album. this track begins relatively well with some nice piano (a little too broadway for my taste, but i can understand the appeal) and good vocals. however, it quickly goes downhill from there for me. maybe it’s because i was expecting another “impossible year” which is an incredibly difficult feat to top, and maybe it’s because i prefer mournful themes to dreaming, hopeful ones. either way, this song really fell short for me. i was good with it despite the cheesiness until the “dying in la” line where brendon hikes up his vocals -- i find it to be completely unnecessary and a huge turn off for the song. yes, he had been channelling his inner broadway on the album but it was subtle; this time all i could think of was some cheesy dreamer’s musical, with this song being the main character’s turnaround point where they then get shot into the wonderful life of stardom thanks to all their hard work and the fact that they believe! ...awful. i just can’t do it. i know this song is meant to be sad by talking about all these washed up people who came to this big city with their larger-than-life ambitions and simply turned into partiers, drug addicts, or whatever. it’s really a great idea for a theme and i would love a song about that, but broadway musical style is not the way to do it. the entrance of the strings really just kind of ended it right then and there for me; it felt like it was trying so hard to be dramatic, while i was sitting here just rolling my eyes. obviously brendon’s vocals are good, but i just can’t deal with the childishness of this song. this level of cheesiness is (and to me, has always been) beyond brendon; he’s always just been so above that, better than this. “impossible year” is somewhat cheesy, yet it’s way more raw and real than this staged shit. i don’t know, i feel like the fans are going to fall for this one as well because it’s meant to be sad and it’s the only ballad on there. for me, all it did was make me feel this aching melancholy for the better p!atd slow songs, such as “the end of all things” or “far too young to die”.
overall, the strong points in “pray for the wicked” for me truly laid in the singles and a couple of other songs. general layered production was decent though a bit muddy at times, the use of brass, horns, etc. within a variety of beats was admirable and refreshing despite it not paying off each time, and the overall cohesiveness of the album is the only thing it has on “death of a bachelor” which is a bit all over the place in terms of musical style. i think that it is really thanks to the consistent utilisation of those trumpets, saxophones, etc. that “pray for the wicked” feels more like an album.
however, the negative points in “pray for the wicked” aren’t few or small enough to simply overlook quickly. yes the album is cohesive, but as a whole it is relatively forgettable, with very few standout songs. there is an unfortunate immaturity and simplicity in terms of lyricism and some sonic aspects of the album that i’ve never really seen from brendon, which is really disappointing for me. certain songs also blatantly outshined others, which would be fine if those “others” weren’t as weak as they are; it’s as if all efforts were thrown into a select few songs and the rest were just tossed in there for length. although i praised the use of brass throughout the album for its uniqueness and its ability to make the whole thing sound far more collected than their previous album, i also think that it might have been overused, as it was dragged into settings (notably beats and some strings and synth arrangements) that really did not require it or sound good with it at all. 
i could see this album growing on me as i listen to it some more, since i find myself to become a bit of a “lazy listener” if that makes sense; to a certain extent, i’ll absorb the awkward lyrics, weird sounds, etc. and sort of set them aside and just listen, if there’s enough of a song to salvage despite all those mistakes. “roaring 20s” for example is so catchy that i’ve already been listening to it a lot and really liking it, whereas i don’t know if i could ever genuinely enjoy “hey look ma, i made it” or “old fashioned” at all since for me the blunders in those are just too prominent and/or numerous. only time will tell, i guess.
in terms of my ranking for this album in comparison to the rest of p!atd’s work, i’d rank “pray for wicked” last along with “pretty. odd.” (which i don’t even like to count in my book because it’s just not so my style at all that i feel guilty judging its quality).
essentially i had been hoping for further evolution from the great sound of “death of a bachelor” and the singles made “pray for the wicked” seem really promising; unfortunately the rest of the album fell extremely short for me.
i’ll probably get murdered by fans for this, but my final rating for this album is a 4.5/10.
i think i’ll keep doing some more of these in-depth track and album reviews like this with both new releases and old favourites. if there’s anything you’d like me to review (even if it’s not in my tags at all), feel free to just drop a song or album in my ask anytime and i’ll get it up there asap, obviously crediting you in the process.
---mel 
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dozer-moved · 6 years
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this is a dumb post you can skip it if you want.
hey i’m finally gonna do this.  i’m gonna fully gush about my favorite piece of art of all time.  something that has permanently left a mark on me in the best way.  if you actually do read this like, like it because i want to know who’s reading me ramble for this long.  the whole post is under the cut so if you don’t want to, just scroll right past and don’t in.teract please!
okay so i’ve been sitting here slowly tearing up as everything in the last chapter of my life has been swirling around me in a cacophony so i’d thought i’d put my thoughts down in a positive way by associating things with my absolute favorite body of work any musician has ever put out, gush about it, and also kinda be a little bit more personal for once.
forgive me for never shutting up about this album but it’s Dearest Everybody by Inara George.
now like for a bit of context, i’d never been a fan of folk music or it’s peer genres for quite a while.  it’s always been too slow and structureless and overall just felt like a giant sappy waste of time.  i’d gotten into Inara’s work with her band The Bird and the Bee in between the months of january and like, march or april (which is very pop) so I wasn’t expecting her solo work to be folk-y, piano pop with a bit of country influences.  that being said, this album won my heart so quickly and has slowly just become the no contest de facto winner of the “what’s my favorite album of all time” challenge that i haven’t been very quiet about how much i like this album.
as long as we’re being honest i feel stupid for liking this enough to even make this post let alone talk about it to other people.  i don’t know.  i’m not a big fan of sharing my interests with others, as they’ve been used to ridicule me or been “ruined” for me in the past, so i tend to keep to myself.
this album is special to me tho.  in so many ways.
i’ll just do a full breakdown track by track?
1. Young Adult.  so this track is the intro, and it starts off with this welcoming chord and syncopated bass.  immediately the lyrics paint a picture of a young person knowing they want to follow their gut and do what they think they should, no matter what it is.  in the context of the lyrics, it’s following Inara’s father and becoming a musician, but i like to think of it as just being general and applicable to anyone?  the chorus and second verse talk about young adult’s cynicism, depression and sarcastic nature while also showing their curiosity and natural drive, whether right or wrong, on the “what do i know?  what do i know?  i know i want to see where this thing will go” line.  i love all of this because it’s highkey relatable!  i’m turning 20 this year and i’m not going to lie, a lot of this hits so close to home.  i love the almost stubborn nature of the aforementioned “i know i want to see where this thing will go” line, it has this “i’ll show you” type of demeanor about it and i think it just works into the idea of a young adult trying to show that they’re independent and know what’s right for them.  the whole song swells as it goes on and all the layers are so simple, yet add so much.
2. Crazy.  this song is a lot more personal to Inara, and while i have official confirmation of what the song is about, i won’t be sharing it, at least unprompted, out of respect for her.  the song has this very, uneven walk about it?  i love the opening lyrics about grass coming up to your knees, and everyone stopping visiting.  i’m highkey almost a hermit myself, and these lyrics are very me.  the whole song is about loving someone and putting all your energy into them, so much so that you go crazy.  i can’t exactly relate to this feeling as it is, but i love how the chorus soars.  the background ambiance on this track is also amazing, it adds so much to the immersion of like, walking around in the tall grass.  this whole album sounds and paints images as clear as photographs, you can get every single detail out of the soundscape, and it sends chills down my spine every time.  i love Inara’s little vocal chime bits?  especially when they echo off-beat and just add to the immersion.  the whole song has this atmosphere i can’t get enough of, it’s stunning.  i love the ending eerie, almost croaking cello.  so perfect.
3. Somewhere New.  this song starts off with these beautiful vocal melodies, and immediately the vibe has perked up.  i absolutely love all the little horn touches on this track.  the amount of care that went into the production on these tracks is insane.  when Inara gets into the “live it up” part, i love how the sound becomes almost waltz-like?  it becomes soaring, and airborne, and yet still has so much movement.  i love the clapping and the reintroduction of the vocal riff after the chorus too.  it makes the whole song have this liveliness about it, i can’t get enough.  the lyrics go into this innate, unwavering, unavoidable desire to go somewhere new.  i keep making this about me but i legitimately relate so much.  there have been a lot of times i’ve almost just walked out of my house, leaving everything behind to just, explore and find something new.  it feels like an inherent desire sometimes, that you can’t avoid.  the end of the track has these squeaking metallic noises and i love them for unexplainable reasons.
4. Take Me to Paris.  this song is so, so intimate and minimalist.  the simple 6th harmonies, the minor cadence before the next section.  i love Inara’s vocal runs before the final parts of the verses.  and the “run naked through the streets” part.  the whole song is so small, so spacey, and yet so warm and tender.  each part of this track just compliments the others so much and it climaxes in the most calm way with the “and make you love me even more than you do” parts.  the whole song just is this incredibly effective, simple composition and structure, and yet it works so well.  the chord progressions are so amazing here too.  i absolutely love the way it almost feels like the song pans up to the sky with each section ending.  you get this immense feeling of vastness but it’s so close and personal that it feels yours.  this track originally flew over my head but each time i relisten to it, it just reinforces how special it is.
5. A Bridge.  an entirely acapella track!  this track is, in my opinion, the least accessible.  the structure and lack of production can be a bit off-putting, but i still love it.  i feel like this is the moment where the “paris” mentioned previously falls away, where it’s just Inara and the person she’s speaking to in these tracks, the pure intimacy of it all shines through so well.  i really love the backing vocals texture in this track.  like honestly i didn’t even notice it was all acapella during my first time listening to it.  i was too busy listening to Inara and the vocals covered the bases they had to.  i love the vocalization in the “you open up to anything... will you tell me?”, it feels so fitting and i can’t put into words how it sounds to me.
6. Slow Dance.  the album picks up again!  this track was one of my first favorites from this, and for good reason!  i love the themes across this album of identity, change and looking back on yourself.  the sound of this song honestly makes me feel like you’re flying down a dirt road, or on a cargo train or something.  i love how the chorus suspends around the opening and then swirls around Inara’s vocals and create this immense motion around it all.  i haven’t been talking about the lyrics much, have i?  sorry omg i’m really bad at this.  i love the little chord changes at the end of the chorus too.  like honestly this whole album is so good compositionally, production-wise AND lyrically, it’s really hard for me to put my thoughts together about everything.  i really love the “the end is the beginning” lyrics, it feels like it’s a new start, and that’s because it is.  OH YEAH i love the “though they say youth is wasted on the young, we never could have lasted through those nights, through streets and stars, knowing what we know now” part.  it can be so shocking to look back on what you used to say and do and act and EXIST in, and believe you did and had no problem with it.  they say hindsight is 20/20, but i think this song is about acknowledging the fact you can’t change the past, and doing what you can while you still have the time to.
7. All for All.  this track is really hard for me to put into words.  i love it just the same as the rest, but my feelings on it are really hard to put together.  i always interpolate the lyrics of standing with the sun on my face, and your words in my mind into the next track, and the sound feels like a lighter, more bouncy version of slow dance.  it’s a really good transition between the two but in all honesty it can be hard to parse this one from either of them, but that’s more on me for how i remember the tracks, rather than for how they were designed.  Inara’s explanation of what this track meant was also very eye opening, i won’t reveal it again out of privacy respect but i definitely did not get the intended meaning from it, and it made a lot more of the lyrics that i thought were random mean something more.  i honestly realize as i’m typing this that this song is the old soul manifested in slow dance, looking back on its life.  the song is about death, and i realize that now all for all is perhaps acknowledging how it’s time won’t last forever, and that’s why it goes into the next track.
8. Release Me.  okay full disclosure, i really didn’t like this track at first.  the verses were fine but the choruses always felt really cheesy and like, basic and they didn’t mesh with me at all.  BUT, then i had a personal experience with this song.  i’ve been writing to the tracks playing on loop this whole time, but i haven’t even started this song yet because i know i’m gonna tear up if i tell this story while it’s playing.  the lyrics in the middle of the song (verse 2 onward) speak about wanting to be free of a ghost of someone, free of the past, free of what’s holding you back from living your life and being in a world that’s calling you out into the wide open experience.  this, as people close to me know, hits super close to home.  i’ve spent the last several years quite literally fighting to get haunting memories and lingering fragments of other people out of my psyche, and 2018 is the year i finally started doing it.  i was standing on the beach last month, and while i was standing there, i couldn’t help but mouth the lines “now i wanna be the writer of this song, and a love, not just a longing, in a world that is just calling me to be free.”  perhaps this doesn’t mean much to anyone else, but as someone who’s spent the last 2 or so years basically fighting for my sanity, my safety and my ability to trust people again, being able to finally look up, without the weights holding you down, it can be a pretty moving experience.  there’s a whole story as to who and why and what went down to cause me to be like this, but all you need to know is that... perhaps even though these last few years have been a hell for me, that i’ve started looking upwards, i made it through the darkest part of the storm, and i can tough out the rest.  that’s why this song means so much to me.  i almost started crying earlier because i tried to explain it to a friend and i couldn’t put it into words right.  it’s the entire reason i started doing this analysis.  i wanted to put down why i love this work so much, how it changed me personally, and what it means to me.  so here the fuck i am.  as for the song itself?  the production is simple yet efficient, the lyrics are great.  i love the lines about being forever loving of someone, but not being able to forgive them for leaving you for so long.  i also really love the lines about “some people don’t believe us, the things that have been spoken, would leave anyone heartbroken.”  i’m not going to explain why but it’s a bit personal, all you need to know.  i really like the vocal melody and the part “i’ve been the best, at doing the best that i can” because, i’ve been fighting and almost giving up for so long, and only just now am i getting a footing.  the organ embellishments here are also super fucking good.  the bridge is also heavenly.  ok i’ll shut up now.
9. Stars.  this track i still don’t quite completely understand.  i love the vocal melody and simple production, the strings work so effectively.  i love the line “be brave now, who will i be in the end?”  it’ so effectively gets across a concept that not many people ever will have to face.  “you know there’s no walking away now” you can’t walk away from a changing self.  i honestly think the song is a bit of a reflection on not only the person listening’s self, but how people become and change as a whole.  the unifying experience of changing and growing and becoming someone new, without ever realizing it.  nihilism, sonder, all existential concepts about how not only we experience ourselves, but how everyone else experiences themselves too.  the waltz rhythms all over this track, while simple, really work to this tracks advantage.  the whole thing has this motion to it, i don’t think it would’ve in 4/4.  it’s a track that manages to stay still and spin so much at the same time.  mesmerizing.
10. Tusker 4.  this and the next track are the first 2 songs i really got into on this record, and they’re both fantastic.  i love the opening riff. the weird chord structure.  the vocal background textures.  i love the lyrics about all the things the subject has, from so much love, to car keys, to piles of dirt, to feelings hurt.  it has this immense motion about it again, much like slow dance.  this album doesn’t really let you sit still.  even on tracks like stars, you can feel the world spinning still.  the high background noises on this track add so much to the track while being barely audible, it’s so nice.  the vocal backgrounding on “little hands / big demands / things i don’t need” is so nice.  the chorus here soars again, this time like you’re holding hands with someone.  spinning them around, so much love to give, so you do.   i love the melodic minor esque chord structure with the majors on the upswings, minors on the downswings.  it gives this all a very otherworldly vibe, and yet it still feels like it takes place in your backyard.
11. House on Valentine.  favorite track.  hands down.  the brass here makes this song so much.  i love the way how it’s organize and sounds.  the lyrics are so nice.  this song is everything i ever wanted.  i won’t lie, even without the intended meaning, this song still works so well.  you can get vibes of personal growth, change, being afraid of the unknown, and yet still brave to jump into it.  moving on from someone, saying goodbye, goodnight for infinity.  i love how this song sounds so, sub/urban and train-like almost?  the production has this forward motion that you could almost hear a train over, and it feels so well for what it is.  also the part where Inara’s vocals soar and the song is sprung into this perfectly still air, it’s fucking blissful as all hell.  the goodbye choruses at the bridge?  fucking incredible.  everytime i hear that bridge, i get chills and goosebumps, it makes me so incredibly emotional.  goodbye!  goodbye!  goodbye!  it’s so cheery, you can feel the humanity bleeding out of every seam of it.  you know the goodbyes are cheerful, but you know the person behind them is teary eyed and scared, just a bit.  but not enough to stop them.  say goodbye to the house on valentine, say goodnight for infinity.
12. Everybody.  i love this track just the same.  the ending of a perfect album and a flawless trilogy.  the empty sound of it all, it’s after everybody has gone home.  you are left alone with yourself and what we started with.  it almost feels like a sonic parallel to crazy in a way.  i absolutely love the “the space that i have made, the parts that i have played, it doesn’t go away, it doesn’t go away, i’ll never go away.”  it feels like you’re driving out of the town this all took place in, looking back on the places you watched flourish and shine so bright, be so lively, and have so much memory attached to them.  it doesn’t go away.  it leaves you with a name, try to say it once a day.  god i fucking love this song.  it haunts you of everything this album stands for, and everything it represents.  but not in a bad way, it makes sure you remember that you were there for it.  you experienced everybody’s experiences, and even though the curtains of the play have been drawn, everyone said goodbye, it remains.  it sticks with you.  i’ll never go away.
in short, is it clear i love this fucking album now?  i’m not going to review meditation, as it’s a vinyl only track and while, not filler, it’s all instrumental.  i love the fact it’s so ethereal and spacey, it feels like you’re looking out into space the night after you went through all the photographs of everybody.  their experiences will stay with you.  or at least i hope so.
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