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savagebisand · 8 months

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I saw it be said a few times that Boeing is mature and whilst that man is a lot of things that have me questioning if I'm like... Mentally okay to have such a carnal desire for them. Mature is not one of the traits I'd assign. This is a man who is literally playing games with not just one now but two of his exes. He's spent what months? years maybe? being Tops go to call when he doesn't want a lonely night, the second he feels threatened of his security in Tops fucked up life, he makes a move on the so called threat aka Mew. He's master manipulating. Everything he says is double edged and eery and unsettling. Just how much does he pull strings on Top? You see it in how he talks to him, how he touches him.

Boeing doesn't care for Tops boundaries, he may have even been the start of Tops issues with fighting for his own boundaries being respected. Boeing does this thing where he keeps Top coming back to him for more, and he lords it over him. How long has it been, are you still sticking to the three month rule? He knows exactly the power he has and by god does he wield it. Sabotaging Tops other relationships so he can keep number one spot. Deceiving Mew so easily into believing it's a revenge that won't bite him in the ass, that he's a friend and not a wolf in sheep's clothing.

And as if that's not enough, he then next episode targets Sand again, purely because he hears about how Sand has moved on. Kinda like how he doubles down on his position in Tops life because he thinks Top can finally move on with Mew. Like he's terrified of someone replacing his legacy as The Best Option. Boeing likes pulling puppet strings, he likes keeping people stagnant in a place he can leave them and come back to peck at what's left later like a vulture. And the worst part is he does it because he needs attention.

There he is simpering to Mew and Sand about how he thinks he can be a better boyfriend than their current partners. Using Mews history against him, spinning this tale where Top is selfish and Boeing is "The Good Guy", then using his own history with Sand to delude Sand into this vision where he's blameless and just wants him back bad enough he's willing to be "The Bad Guy".

Funny how Boeing only starts caring if he still stands a chance when he thinks his position is threatened as Sands most important ex. He's still got his little revenge plot with Mew in the works but he wants Sand on his belt too. Also, all this man does is talk about his exes. He tells stories of the past where he and Sand played quiz nights at the bar, where Top took him wakeboarding and made him a pro. Constantly trying to undermine what his exes newest partners may see as special time for them because oh hey btw I did that first. The sheer audacity to bring up dates Sand and him used to do whilst at the same time he was prioritising Top over Sand? As if they're like fond memories?

Boeing presents himself as this true friends stab you in the front archetype but he's just a lost, lonely man desperate for even a shred of someone's attention and value. And that's kind of sad actually. Like babes move the fuck on? Get a life outside of these men's business and stop bothering them?

We love Boeing because he steps on the scene and emits this mean girl Regina George energy where you're like oh this vindictive little bitch is truly a supreme conniving pussy slaying cow. But when you peel back his layers it's like you are the most pathetic man to ever breathe sir. How hard is it to just move forward in life?

Boeing is that smart and that pretty and that good at pulling strings to get to high places and he wastes his time circling the flakey little meal that is this group of men. He literally invented gaslight, gatekeep and girlboss specifically for his exes and even Boston would shake in his leather studded cunt serving boots at the sight of Boeing. And yet, he's insignificant. He means nothing to anyone. He's indisposable at any time and he Knows it. He knows one day Top will say he no longer needs Boeing to play ghost of his past still haunting. That Sand will eventually see why Boeing was never the right one. So he claws for control by removing options. Because he'd never be a first choice all on his own.

I'm obsessed with him, I crave him carnally and viciously. I'd do truly wicked things to that maleficent poisonous man. But he better leave Sand tf alone. It's about time someone tells Boeing they want someone whose actually willing to change for them, to see past what is so say "not enough" within them to make Boeing truly loyal or commited, to choose someone who genuinely tries rather than someone who clings to falsified memories of a past with a significance that didn't and doesn't exist.

And yes I do want Sand to be the one to say it because my biggest fear is that Ray will go in all guns blazing when he overhears Boeing making a move on his man, take over the situation and then Sand will lose his chance to get closure and put autonomy back on Boeing for his part in the downfall of their relationship. If ray interferes, it's a loss of a chance for sand to make a point that he chooses ray no matter what in a way Ray can witness and feel the significance of. Because Ray knows but he's still learning that Sand will choose him over everything and he needs to hear Sand of his own volition, let go of such an important part of his past because Ray is the future he picks.

Top got the chance to clearly tell Boeing he picks Mew and now I need to see Sand do the same for Ray without Ray "forcing his hand" to use Rays expression from the ep when it came to making Sand make a big choice the first time around.

#only friends the series #this is such a weird fear for me bc i know sand would pick ray now over boeing #bc it makes no sense for sand atp in his growth to go back to boeing anyway #he just managed to get ray to let him love him whilst being a better version of himself #then hes gonna settle for bare minimum boeing anyway? nah dont make no sense #but im still fearful of how this goes down when boeing has been shown to have such a strong influence and grip on sand #to the point sand removed blame from him for going to top and views him as the one who got away #and also bc i really dont want impulsive mode ray to make the choice for sand in that split second #it takes from a key moment we could see ray heal by standing aside #still hearing sand say fuck that i cared once but it will always be ray

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channydraws · 1 year

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Who is your favorite Happy Tree Friends character?

me, a basic ass bitch, holding Flippy and Flakey plushies.

BRO YOU DONT UNDERSTAN-

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH BRO

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carli-meows · 3 months

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im tired but it's whatever other people have it worse and i have to keep living or else

oh yeah, im bummed out about the world ending, i've given up hope

anyways, donate to what causes you can when you can

wear a tail to your next outing to the grocer, fucking reclaim media that your ex ruined for you

watch nostalgic videos, call your friends, apologise to the relatives you feel you've wronged

pray or don't

all that matters is we get through this or we die trying

i dont know if that's sound advice or not

suicide is literally not an option for me, hasnt been since i was 12

i just hope something really cool happens that fixes all our problems. specifically something really cool, that's good, not like in an evil way

maybe if an alien or a vampire takeover happens thats fine

anyways i have faith in you, just not humanity

god no

"never forget" oh and we're just supposed to forget these genocides? these fuckin direct actions meant to make life misrable?

literally just telling us not to worry about the world falling apart, im supposed to just sit back and watch some rich bitch go on the grammies and tell me how good of a year is was

bitch shut the fuck up

i wish ever billionaires gets their money stolen and they die a slow painful death, no backsies

and if you defend them- the fuck for?

what they suckin your cock or somethin?

want some seasoning on that boot? flakey ass bitch

anyways rant over im tired and i know i shouldn't say that but work has been fucking me over and i just want my parents to know i love them and i dont want my brother to be alone

i dont want to be alone either, i really dont

#ramblings #vent #the world is ending

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deyadee · 11 months

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I haven’t been able to write any posts on my phone recently because I cracked the screen and I just LOVE when companies need to actively fuck up older equipment to force you to buy new phones and shit. I’ve had this phone since my 16th birthday, so yes it might be old but it worked fine for half a year after cracking the bastard. It started with not being able to type specifically the letter E but then it spread across half the fucking keyboard so I can’t type E, D, S, R, X, or C. I have to use the fucking voice command for goddamn everything on it now and it makes doing anything a four fucking hour process. I feel even more lonely than usual because I can’t even go on the discord chat with my two only online friends.

Anyway, I don’t know what I’ve posted about and I what I haven’t so I’m just going to bitch about everything in order of what I remember not posting.

I spent nearly two months meticulously planning on going to a pride street fair with the cute girl at the front desk and surprisingly she said yes. So over the course of a few weeks I would show up pretty much every day I could find out she was there and ask if everything was still good to go on the meetup. I was so excited, I finally felt like I was worthy, like I finally had a friend or that I wasn’t a complete waste of human meat for once in my pathetic ass life. So, after everything was planned out down to the last detail I showed up the day before we were supposed to go to make sure we were still good... and that’s when reality had to prove to me that no matter what I did I am not destined to have even a fleeting day of happiness.

She told me that she might not be able to go because of last minute car trouble and just remembering that tomorrow was her mother’s birthday. She said she try to work it out and text me early in the morning the next day. Now, I can understand the car trouble but who the hell forgets their mom’s birthday until literally the day before? SHE LIVES WITH HER MOM. I’m not good with dates either but it all came off as kind of flakey. She did seem genuinely sorry that she couldn’t go but it still had this underlying feeling of “Oh thank god I don’t actually to spend a fucking whole day with you.” I tried to smile and pretend it was alright but when I got home I just fucking broke down. Of course this had to happen. I try to reach out and make a connection, try to make myself not feel like a complete fucking social outcast from people my own age and this is what happens of fucking course. But I still got up and got ready the next day, still grasping to the pathetic delusion that even in the last second something might fucking go right. I called off work two months ahead of time. I planned all this out. This piece of shit event had to be at least somewhat fair to me right?

She said she couldn’t go. So my parents offered to drop me off so I could go by myself. And boy, is it really fun to look around and see all the happy fucking couples and people having fun with their friends while I’m creeping around trying to pretend I’m on the same social level as all these people. I was overwhelmed at first but got used to it, and anytime I got near anyone who wasn’t trying to sell me some stupid shit I was looked at either like I was a hideous sweating fucking pig parading herself around for all to see at the church picnic or like I was some creepy dude in his forties trying to sniff girl’s hair. I bought some earrings and hung out, but it just was a subtle reminder that I’m not like other girls of my age. I’m not getting a partner, going out to events, and figuring out how I want to make a difference in this shit world- I am an ugly repulsive wall of blubber leeching off of her parents and drowning her self-pity in children’s media and whatever shit I can shove down my fucking throat.

I felt a bit better afterwards because my dad asked me to go with my family to this restaurant to meet this family that goes to my little sister’s dance studio. He particularly wanted me to go because he said the dad was annoying and said all this shit about how shitty and rude LGBT people are for whatever reason and how he’d “beat the shit out of them if they ever tried that shit on him.” So I of course was like “Yes, I would love to.”

Which, nothing was more funny than when I walked in, wearing a rainbow shirt, rainbow hat, rainbow scrunchie, and asexual/gay pride bracelets and just saw him nervously look me up and down. I noticed he tried to avoid any conversation whatsoever with me, and how any time my dad would say anything about me he’d look away. It was even more fun to give his daughter (who was really sweet btw) a pink bottle of bubbles that I got from the pride street fair.

That happened a while ago, but why did I particularly want to make a post today? Well it was a bit of a story.

I just remember seeing a cute redhead with glasses and knowing I had to talk to her. We spent all night talking and though she was a bit more of a hipster than my kind of style, it was like we were meant for each other. I couldn’t look away when she was in the room and the hours we spent together felt like seconds. At the very end of it all we sat at the foot of my bed, holding hands, and we leaned in towards each other and... I woke up.

It was all a dream. All a fucking dream. She felt like the greatest thing to happen to me. It felt so real. When I woke up I genuinely thought we were going to spend another day together. Until I realized that I need to turn off my alarm and go to work. She never existed. I was never even slightly appealing to even the lowest common denominator, let alone someone like her who felt like she was ripped right from a movie... which I mean basically she was. I kept trying to think about her, but more and more details were slipping away. I couldn’t remember her name. I didn’t know how we met. Yet, I couldn’t feel sad because I could still feel her warmth on me, her cold hands. The feeling she left within me. Even when I knew she wasn’t real I couldn’t stop smiling. Even now I can’t even process that she doesn’t exist. I’d rather believe her to be dead than to think we never crossed paths. She made me feel like I was the most special person in the world. That every tiny detail of this fucking shithole world isn’t built just to make us suffer. She made not even question that life was worth living, that every horrible thing that happened was worth it as long as we had this moment to be together. I can’t even think of other people now, all I can think of is her. I miss her, yet she’ll never come home.

I heard this story on one of the thousand Youtube videos I watch everyday where this guy got knocked out and lived an entire life with having a wife and two kids until he noticed that this lamp didn’t look right and he eventually realized everything in his past seven years of life was fake. He went through a deep depression knowing that his family never existed. I wouldn’t say mine is anywhere near as extreme but, I can’t help feel like I actually spent that day with her. I still feel that comfort she left me with like everything in the world was alright. I’ve never felt like this with anyone else, and now I’m scared I’ll never feel it again. But this is still not why I made this post.

I tried to ignore it for the rest of the day and about ten minutes before I got off of work I had nearly forgotten, when this group of three girls came up to checkout. They had streamers, plates, table covers, regular stuff for a party so I asked what kind of party it was for. They said “Oh, we’re just grabbing a few things to surprise our friend for her 21st birthday we’re gonna take her out!” and something in me just cracked because all I could say was “Oh that’s great.” and try to check them out as fast as possible. These girls in front of me were 21. These cute girls having the time of their lives on the beach with their friends is what the average girl would be doing at this point in their lives. So what am I doing? Obsessing over a girl I had to dream up to cope with a lack of affection and attention. Working at a fucking dollar store. Still no college classes. Living with my parents. Still not a fucking clue what to do with my life besides wallow and cry over the fucking waifu I never had. Guess my fucking neckbeard status is complete. I’m fucking sitting in my bedroom, typing for nearly an hour and a half now, full on fucking weeping because I’m fucking pathetic and so goddamn irredeemable in every fucking way that I’m dreaming of girls. It’s so fucking fun to be idealistic and want to hope that things will get better and that all people deserve love and all that hippie shit but I just have to face it. “Certain girls are meant to be alone”

Why can’t I build an endless dream where I can be confident? Where I can have her, and she can have me? Where I can finally be happy and not just questioned why I too lazy and too much of a pussy to just fucking do it already? I’m an atheist, but I’d rather take my chances in possibly finding an afterlife with her than staying here for another forty years until I die of a heart attack from eating myself to death and reluctantly marrying some shitbag abusive stain of goddamn man because I think I have no other fucking option. I’d rather die now just to have the chance to see her again than suffer a slow miserable death that the average hideous woman calls a life. Give me strength to take me there. Give me just one last moment with her again. I can’t do this anymore.

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rileychester · 11 months

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There is a woman at work who I don’t like for multiple genuine reasons.

She is all about drama, she’s flakey, and she doesn’t pull her weight at work.

But when I’m around her, I admit I act like a child and I don’t like myself.

I finally realized why I’m such a bitch concerning her, it is because she reminds me of my oldest sister C.

And I need to grow up, pull my head out of my ass, and start being more proffesional at work.

I can’t control her, but I can control how I act around her and I need to behave like a better more mature person.

#personal post

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pcrfectstorms · 1 year

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dibs infinity

love you roxy <33 seems like forever ago i dragged my ass back onto tumblr dot com and reconnected with you, its been a wild year, but i am so glad i came back to this hellsite, and you are stuck with me, no matter how flakey i am, i am here bitch! p.s you're so getting a festive starter now regardless if you liked the post or not, maddy and fez being cute and festive, i think so yes. ♡

#notcruel #❛ talk like an open book ; sign me up ❜ [ answered asks ]

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obxcline · 3 years

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Waiting Game |Topper Thornton Imagine|

SUMMARY: Rafe knew all along that Top and Y/N we’re more than just friends, too bad Topper ruined it

PAIRING: topper x y/n

WARNINGS: swearing, topper being a flakey dick, sexual jokes. maybe a part one of a part two?? Who knows

REQUESTED: yes!! who knew so many people like top! thanks lovely for the request. requests are open💕

“Bro-you’re fucking blind. She’s head over heels for you. It’s honestly kind of pathetic.”

Rafe told his friend as they watched the girl go up to grab them ice cream from the counter, looking back to throw her friends a small smile.

Y/N was the third member to the chaotic trio that was Rafe, Topper, and Y/N. If Y/N wasnt bailing their asses out of trouble, it wouldn’t be a normal summer.

Rafe and Y/N had always been close. Just not as close as the other two, but the Cameron boy was smart enough to catch the stolen glances Y/N took of Topper. Even though he was too stupid to see and too ignorant to realize he liked her back.

“At least get your dick wet or something man. It’s killing me.”

Rafe was dramatically acting out getting shot in the head, pushing Top’s shoulder. The younger boy just denied the truth in front of him and told Rafe to fuck off.

Rafe did this every time Y/N smiled at Top or even offered to pick him up his favorite takeout on the way home. Or when she told him to drive safe.

“You know you can just be friends with girls, right?”

“Not her though, you guys are destined to end up together.”

—

Rafe’s advice went unfulfilled as Topper perused something with Sarah. Rafe had been absolutely disgusted from the start and told Topper to never talk about his sex life with him ever again. And as for Y/N she had been upset to hear the news, hoping that it was all just a bad joke.

But much to Y/N’s luck. Their relationship ended just about as quick as it had started. Burning to flames relatively quickly in the three months they had spent together.

“I’m so done being sad over this-this girl. Look at her, already off with her new boyfriend.”

Topper spat, showing Y/N the picture she had posted of her and John B on Instagram. The girl just rolled her eyes and told him that he was overreacting, they would’ve never worked out in the first place. Anyone could’ve told him that, and Rafe had actually tried to tell him.

“Trust me, I live with the bitch.” Had been Rafe’s exact words, followed by a laugh from Y/N.

There wasn’t anything particularly wrong with the girl, but she didn’t look at him like Y/N did. Even Sarah had known of the girls feelings. Apologizing to her when Topper had asked the blonde to Midsummers and not her.

But she was stuck in the friend zone and would be fine staying there as long as she got to be in his life somehow. He was an extraordinary person who spread love and positivity everywhere he went.

He made her a better person.

“Listen, screw that. Let’s go to the restaurant I had reserved for Valentine’s Day. It will be my treat.”

Topper offered up the date like no big deal and Y/N knew that she was reading too much into it. Even though they would be hanging out on February 14th, it didn’t mean that is would be a romantic date at all. Or so Y/N tried to convince herself in the moment.

She had helped Topper plan this romantic dinner, in a restaurant on the water front to impress Sarah. But the couple had broken up before making it to their first Valentine’s Day.

“Deal, it’s a date.”

—

y/n🦞: how close are you?

y/n🦞: should I cancel the reservations?

y/n🦞: are you okay?

y/n🦞: top plz respond im really worried

The texts appeared on his phone as soon as he turned his phone on, pulling into the parking lot. Y/N had the violent urge to key the side of his ugly ass Jeep.

“Sorry, my phone was turned off and I had to go take Sarah home from this party. It was absolutely insane how drunk she was.”

Topper went off to describe how when he had picked her up he had been roped into a game of pong. Resulting in him being two hours late. While he was playing pong, Y/N had been sitting outside of the resturaunt waiting for him.

He took notice of the nice dress that she had worn and the fact that her makeup was done. Sitting on the bench outside the front door.

“I waited for you, Top.” Y/N exclaimed, frustrated with tears welling up in her eyes. Topper took notice and started to panic. Not wanting to see her cry, it would break his heart.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. But I wasn’t even that late.” He was confused by the over reaction. He had been late other times, but this was the first time she had reacted like this.

“No, Topper. I waited for you. I waited while you dated Sarah. I waited while you went off to some party to take her home. I’m done waiting for you. It’s stupid and useless.”

“I didn’t-I,” Topper stuttered while the girl had practically confessed her feelings in front of him. He could tell her had fucked up big time when she stood up from the bench and approached him.

“Just don’t ever speak to me again.”

And with that Y/N figured she would be better over walking home and never looking back. She was tired of being second best to Sarah, or anyone. She wanted someone who appreciated her enough to be on time and not play with her feelings.

“Shit!” Topper yelled. Throwing his phone onto the ground in sudden rage. Watching her leave, he knew that she would never want to forgive him, but he would die trying. He could imagine her not being in his life. Suddenly, wishing that he had just listened to Rafe from the beginning.

#rafe cameron #rafe cameron imagine #outer banks #topper thornton #topper thornton imagine #topper thornton one shot #topper thorton x reader #topper obx #outer banks imagine #obx imagine #austin north #topper x reader #topper outer banks

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the-bjd-community-confess · 2 years

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This post actually reminded me of a recent sales attempt that pretty much hit all of my selling pet peeves.

Prospective buyer messages about an item. Asks for more pictures. I provide them same day, within hours of the original message (after letting prospective buyer know I was at work but would do the photos once I got home.) Prospective buyer says that they want the item. Awesome! We confirm shipping amount and I provide them with my PayPal information.

No payment yet, but we strike up a friendly conversation. This conversation lasts a couple of days. Prospective buyer again confirms--several times--that they want the item during these several days. Provide them with my PayPal information again and let them know what days I ship.Prospective buyer suddenly brings up the fact that they can't pay in full right now and asks for a layaway....okay, that was never discussed, but I suppose I can do that. I agree. Prospective buyer now asks for a hold on the item until X day and then buyer would do first payment. Again, reassures me that prospective buyer DOES want the item.

...okay, now I'm a bit irritated because NONE of this was previously mentioned or discussed in payment terms, but I've asked for hold on items before. So I agree because I DO try to be as flexible as I can be under most circumstances. Later on that night, I get a message from prospective buyer that they no longer want the item from me and that they've actually purchased it from someone else already. Fine, that's your right--but it's also my right to block your ass from seeing any future sales because you're a flakey-ass bitch and have wasted DAYS of my time and changed the terms of the sale without previous discussion at least twice.

~Anonymous

#BJD #ABJD #BJD Confessions #Community Confessions #Buyers and Sellers

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bakusdumptruck · 3 years

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Bakusquad Crack Post Pt.2

Hello you beautiful bitches 😌 hope you had a good day today! I was stuck on what I was going to write and decided to make a side story on what happened with the LoV in the first part! So now i’ll give you high bakusquad ft. The LoV🤩

Pairing: Aged up Bakusquad x gn!Y/n x LoV

Warnings: Use of marijuana, swearing, injuries, slight manga spoilers

Summary: Bakusquad gets kidnapped by the Lov, but it turns out better than expected.

✨QUICK RECAP ✨

You and the Bakusquad were v e r y faded chilling on a hill watching the stars

A nomu pops out of no where and you all start attacking, but completely miss

The nomu starts chasing you and ends up knocking everyone out

OKAY NOW LETS GET IT 😈

So... you got kidnapped by the infamous League of Villains

B💥: *waking up* “Fucking shit what hap- oh shit hey crusty 😏 never thought i’d be here again.”

ST(Shiggy)🧴: “Never thought you’d be this easy to catch you little bitch”

B💥: “WHO YOU CALLIN A LITTLE BITCH YOU FLAKEY FU-”

Y/n🥵: *evil/scary ass voice* “Bakugou if you don’t shut the fuck up right now i’ll let his flakey ass disintegrate you. You’re beING TOO FUCKING LOUD 😃🔪”

B💥: “uh... where’d you get that knife from :D”

K💪🏼: “Hey guys, sorry to ruin your moment but shouldn’t we be concerned that we got kidnapped.”

M💅🏽: “I agree... We literally got kidnapped by the people who want to kill us.”

S🕷: “Oh shit, that’s who they are? No wonder they looked so familiar.”

All: 👁👄👁

ST🧴: “Ya’ll are dumber than I expected... anyway we want you guys to join us. You all have powerful quirks, especially you Baku-”

B💥: “YAWWNNNN. No thank you. I already said no.”

ST🧴: “Did you just s a y the word yawn 🙃 *scratching neck* You’re pissing me off. I’ll just kill you then.”

S🕷: “Hold on mr.saltine, before you kill bakubro can we smoke our last joint? This weed was expensive and I AM NOT letting it go to waste. Plus I have even more and it needs to be gone before I die.”

M💅🏽: “Sero please tell me you didn’t bring your stoner pack.”

S🕷: *pulls out his so called “Seros Super Stoner Pack”*

Shiggy’s starting to regret his life choices.

All of a sudden Dabi pops out of no where

DB🔥: “Is that weed? I smell weed. Where is it.”

Sero had the most amazing idea, but not for them to escape no, he has had the most amazing idea to make sure he finishes his weed.

S🕷: “...Wanna smoke with us 👀 I already rolled a joint and I can roll at least 4 more. Don’t wanna let it all go to waste 😃”

DB🔥: “Let them out of the cuffs. I need to smoke.”

At this point Shigaraki is over everything and decides to smoke to distract himself from the stupidity.

So, ya know, Sero does his thing and hands yall the other papers to roll up

*30 minutes and 5 joints later...*

DB🔥: “NO BUT LIKE ENDEAVOR IS A FUCKING B I T C H. HE CAN KISS MY BURNT ASS.”

This smoke session somehow turned into a therapy session.

DB🔥: “I KNOW HE’S MY DAD BUT HOLY SHIT. FUCKER PUSHED ME INTO FAKING MY OWN FUCKING DEATH AND NOW HERE I AM. IM BURNT, MUSTY, AND STUCK WITH THIS CRUSTY ASS BITCH.”

Y/n🥵: *patting his back* “There there, let it out... uhuh just like that”

DB🔥: “I CAN’T EVEN FUCKING CRY. MY TEAR DUCTS ARE BURNT AND I FEEL DUMB AS FUCK CRYING WITH NO TEARS. I LOOK FUCKING CONSTIPATED.”

ST🧴: “Bitch please, you look constipated all the time.”

DB🔥: “Square the fuck up. 😃 Right now.”

D⚡️: “So... we just gon ignore the fact that he’s Endeavors “dead” son?”

Eventually Dabi lets everything off of his chest and goes off pouting in your arms

To lighten up the mood Sero connects his phone to his speaker and picks whatever song came up first

It was WAP by Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion.

Denki was the first one to get up and starts to rap the first verse. He knew it word for word.

Sero joined in after but also started dancing

Mans was MOVING them hips. Them shits were swaying like it was nobody’s business 💅🏽

WAIT SO HEAR ME OUT, I feel like Bakugou would be a completely different person when he’s high

Yeah he’s still angry and shit but he’d be sooooo fucking funny

This bitch would get up all of a sudden and be like

B💥: “YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG FUCKER. THIS IS HOW YOU FUCKING MOVE”

Then he starts aggressively twerking anyway he can 😭

He’s twerking on the wall, on the floor, ON PEOPLE

You all eventually form a circle around him and start hyping him up

LMAOO ITS LIKE THAT DANCE CIRCLE AT SCHOOL DANCES AND EVERYONE HAS THEIR PHONE OUT

Y/n🥵: “BEST FRIEND SHOW EM YOUR MOVES”

K:💪🏼: “GO, OUUU YUH GET IT I GUESS 💅🏽... OKAY IM NEXT BEST FRIEND. GET THE CAMERA 🤩”

KIRI FUCKING PUSHES HIM OUT

K💪🏼: “dougie 🤪 hype me up 😤🥵”

He does it REALLY bad, but that’s not gonna stop the hype

ST🧴: “AHAHAHA WHY HE MOVIN LIKE THAT. MANS STIFF AS FUCK”

M💅🏽: “Like you can do any better than that 😗”

ST🧴: “Baby please, watch this”

Shiggy starts voguing... and he’s really fucking good.

All: “💀”

DB🔥: “HOLY SHIT THIS IS FUCKING GOLD . YO GUYS GET THE FUCK OUT YOUR ROOMS. Hehe he’s gonna regret doing this. ”

The rest of the LoV members come out and are shocked

They don’t know whether to laugh, cry, or be disgusted

TG🔪: “Dabi... is he okay, wait a minute... wHEN DID THEY GET HERE”

SP🐊: “...I’m going back to my room.”

TW👺: “OUU YUH SHIGGY. GET IT BITCH- this is so fucking disgusting.”

Mr.Compress and Kurogiri don’t even bother to see whats happening

Once the most iconic part of the song pops up YOU AND MINA GO OFF.

M💅🏽: “OUT OF THE WAY BITCHES. ITS THE BADDIES TURN.”

Holy fuck can y/n and Mina marry me already. p l e a s e.

Yall hitting every beat, every move, THE ATTITUDE. Yes. A+. 1000/10

Everyone was screaming their asses off and jumping around

After WAP, Dear Maria, Count Me In by All Time Low played

DB🔥: “OHHH SHIT ITS MY TIME WHORES”

Dabi pulls out a guitar and amp out of thin air and plays his fucking heart out.

Bakugou finds drums and plays like theres no tomorrow

Sero finds a bass and joins in

Y/n🥵: “What the fuck 😃 why is this so good 😃”

The rest of you starts head banging and singing along

K💪🏼: “TAKE A BREATH DONT IT SOUND SO EASY, NEVER HAD A DOUBT NOW IM GOING CRAZY WATCHING FROM THE FLOOR”

M💅🏽: “waYMENT- I THOUGHT HE COULDN’T SING. WHERE DID THAT COME FROM 😳”

Denki adds harmony to the next part

K💪🏼D⚡️: “TAKE A BREATH AND LET THE REST COME EASY, NEVER SETTLE DOWN CAUSE THE CASH FLOW LEAVES ME. ALWAYS, WANTING MORE”

Y/n🥵: “DENKI YOU TOO??? I’m going to pass away. This is too muCH. I’M GOING TO SIMP PLEASE.”

Oop, the best part’s coming up... who’s singing next?👀

DB🔥: “IT WAS NEVER A PHASE MOM. ITS A LIFE STYLE- CAUSE I GOT YOUR PICTURE IM COMING WITH YOU DEAR MARIA COUNT ME IN THERES A STORY AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS BOTTLE AND IM THE PEN.”

That shit was chefs fucking kiss. Dabi has the perfect voice for this song.

At this point you, Mina, and Shiggy were on the floor with tears streaming down your faces.

When yall thought it couldn’t get any better, Bakugou and Sero start harmonizing for the last part 💅🏽

B💥S🕷: MAKE IT COUNt WHEN IM THE ONE WHOS SELLING YOU OUT CAUSE IT FEELS LIKE STEALING HEARTS CALLING YOUR NAME FROM THE CROWD”

Dead. You flat lined. Your limit has been passed and now you’re a hard core simp.

Mina was so glad she started recording because there definitely won’t be another opportunity.

Y/n🥵: “Guys... WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT. HOW CAN YOU PULL INSTRUMENTS OUT OF YOUR ASSES AND PLAY PERFECTLY. KIRI WHERE THE HELL DID THE VOICE COME FROM.”

The boys were sweating and out of breath. They just did a whole performance in the hide out with zero practice.

They stared at each other at the end for a little bit and excitedly hyped themselves up.

Dabi spoke about starting a band forgetting about his occupation and why the bakusquad was there in the first place

Honestly this moment was precious. The villains and aspiring hero’s were getting along because of the weed in their system. This just proves how weed can solve all your problems 💅🏽

*knock knock* “Doordash delivery”

ST🧴: “Oh, when did you guys order food?”

S🕷: “We didn’t order food...”

ST🧴: “... FUCKING SHIT NOT AGA-”

The pro hero’s busted in 🤩

DB🔥: “KUROGIRIIII. GET US THE FUCK OUT OF HERE.”

And just like the the LoV escaped

M💅🏽: “Ya kno what, I honestly forgot where we were.”

B💥: “Same.”

K💪🏼: “We were having too much fun...”

D⚡️: “Ughhh why’d they come so early 😫 we were boutta start a band 🥺”

S🕷: “Wait... why were we here again??”

Y/n🥵: “Sero...baby, maybe you should lay off the weed for a bit 💀”

Aizawa walked in and shot his scarf out to all of you. He made sure to make them uncomfortably tight and pulled you guys right to him.

A🐱: 👺👹*gremlin noises*👺👹

Lol you guys are fucked.

HELLOOOOO I hope you guys enjoyed this story of what went on when the squad got kidnapped!! Honestly my account is gonna have ALOT of bakusquad scenarios since I literally love all of them so much. Not a day goes by where I’m not thinking about hanging out with them 😭 Credits to jazzmonster for the gif 😌 once I saw it I knew I had to use it. Anywayy thank you all so much for the support :’-) I didn’t think people would actually like the stuff I write since its all over the place 😫 Hope you have a good rest of your day/night 🖤

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dumbasscorn · 3 years

Text

Exothermic - chapter fifteen

Amalthea vs The Wolves

"Isabella Whatever-the-Fuck-Your-Middle-Name-Is Swan, get in this car right fucking now!"

previous chapter

809 words

═ ∘♡༉∘ ═

The mans eyes never budged from Bella's, and Bella returned the favor.

Thea pretended to only notice Sam now, "Oh shit, it's the part time stalker, full time cult leader Uley! What's up, man! Hey, is tiny Uley dead? Mr. Huber is gonna have my ass if he makes us miss the deadline." The elder brother ignored the girl, keeping his focus on making sure Paul doesn't shift.

Amalthea noticed he refused to acknowledge her existence, and resorted to flipping the finger up at him.

Embry Call attempted to stifle the laughter threatening to escape when she spoke about Trevor, only breaking when she gave Sam the finger. Amalthea winked at the boy, attention returning back to the others when she noticed two of the five boys begin to convulse.

As quick as lightening striking down a pole, Bella Swan swung a fist at Paul Lahote. Jaw dropped and owl-eyed, Amalthea immediately took to cheering on her cousin.

"Yo- Oh my god, Bella-- girl. I wasn't being serious, well no I actually was-- but I really wasn't expecting for you to take me serious! I'm so proud of you-- he def deserved it. Amazing job, beloved cousin of mine!" Thea congratulated, smiling brightly at her cousin. Of course this was the first time Bella Swan saw her cousin actually smile. She couldn't help but find herself grinning back.

Both smiles drop when the man convulses heavily, looking particularly cross. Jacob pushes Paul as hard as he can, sending him flying backward.

"Jacob." A gruff voice spoke. The shoved man rises once again, more outraged than before. He threw his head back and growled roughly, beginning to vibrate violently.

'Did he just fucking growl? The hell is he-- an animal?' Thea thought as she looked perturbed, concerned about how nobody else was inquiring why a man just growled.

A yell broke her train of thought, "Bella, get back!" Sam shouted to her cousin.

The shaking man had fell forward, making it halfway to the ground when a loud ripping noise sounded. The man was no longer a man as he exploded into a massive wolf, silver-gray fur standing up as he crouched and prepared to spring.

"What the fuck!" Thea yelled out, terrified at the animal positioned in front of her cousin, ready to attack. "Bella get the fuck in the car right now, I swear to god!" The girl pushed open the drivers side door, waving for attention, eyes not yet leaving the wolf. Bella was utterly horrified when she grabbed Jacob's arm, attempting to pull him toward the car.

"Run, Jacob!"-- Only Jacob didn't listen, yanking his arm from her grasping hands and running right to the wolf in front of them. He dove headfirst into the air, causing for another tearing sound, and producing shreds of cloth that fell to the ground from the jump. In place of Jacob Black was now a gigantic russet-brown wolf.

Bella reeled and fell onto the hard ground below her as the two wolves crashed into one another. All that could be heard was snarling and clashing of skin. It was all rather deafening.

Amalthea felt buzzing in her ears as tears began to build up, her entire body was shaking with anxiety. 'Bella and I-- we're going to fucking die. We're so young. Bella's friend is a fucking wolf. Bella wasn't wrong. The size of cars, they are. Car-sized wolves were going to kill them and nothing was going to stop it.' A million thoughts raced in Amalthea's mind as the two wolves fought, teeth reaching for each others necks.

Thea didn't even know who to root for. Most definitely not the guy trying to kill Bella. That's a given. But not Jacob, solely because he's a flakey bitch. Though, he did just turn into a huge, terrifying wolf to stop the gray one from murdering Bella! Still not rooting for him, Thea decided.

Bella finally stumbled backward, back still to the car as the fight between the two wolves carried them into the woods, beyond the clearing.

"Isabella Whatever-the-Fuck-Your-Middle-Name-Is Swan, get in this car right fucking now." Amalthea spoke, terror seeping into her quivering voice as her eyes hadn't left the clearing the wolves disappeared into. The sounds of the fight still painfully penetrated her ears, allowing for panicked thoughts to brew. What if they came back?

Stalker Uley kicked off his shoes, starting after them.

"Take Bella and the other Swan to Emily's."

Sam disappeared into the woods, paying no mind Amalthea's remark, "I have a name, bastard."

A long, eerie silence surrounded everybody, before the boy who laughed with Amalthea before spoke up.

"Guess the wolf's out of the bag!" He grinned, attempting to lighten the somber mood.

Neither girl was in the mood, Bella still stunned in shock as Amalthea threw a water bottle at him.

═ ∘♡༉∘ ═

i still have another chapter that i gotta edit, it’s like 1,000 words so 😉

i’m planning on writing like 2 chapters this weekend so i’ll be able to post them throughout the week. oh also if ur reading this and actively supporting exothermic i literally love and appreciate u so much

also i made honor roll for school 😎 depression be beating my ass but my grades good 😎

Tag list: @ivettt @jjpogueprincess @demigodslut

If you would like to be added to the tag list, please send me an ask or message me! Do the same if you’d like to be removed. :)

master list

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darspeaksout · 2 years

Text

“Renewable Energy”

I don’t count the ones that left, I just count the ones ahead

I remove these fake ass friends

And replace them with realer ones instead

There is no pussy boy worth my tears

No hoe that can grind my gears

All the pain and the hurt and the shit, I have processed

Being strong didn’t happen overnight

You got to keep going even though sometimes it feels

Like you’re running into dead ends

I cried about it, wrote about it, prayed about it, cried about it some more

Then I talked about it with trusted friends, focused on me,

And watched my blessings grow

Stopped worrying about the other teams ‘cuz I trusted God was keeping score

Combination of karma, the universe, and my own drive led me to become

The baddest bitch I know

Whenever people turn their backs on me, I just say condolences

‘Cuz they had no idea what they lost, question why they’re miserable

When they replace me with shitty ass friends

Will they support you like I did

Believe in the dreams you had as a kid

Do they answer the phone when you need someone to talk to

Or are they just present for flexing the squad pic?

Don’t say you want to be close with me then put in minimum effort

Treat me like one of your options then leave when you find somebody better

Miss me, blow up my phone, “we should hang out,” then never go

Wonder why I don’t text back, say you’re serious about plans

But when was the last time you ever showed?

I’ve never missed a flakey hoe

If I’m not your priority then just leave it

I’m above begging people to stay and too worthy for friendships that are one-sided

Fake friends are like plastic

They pollute the environment

I’m worried about the planet, worried about the atmosphere

All you science majors please find a way to make this CO2 fuck out of the stratosphere

I want my grandkids to be able to breathe so they can call me Lolo

Fuck single-use plastics, and taking fur and hide by killing our precious animals

I want that solar, that wind, that hydropower and geothermal

I want that ocean, solid biomass, biogas and liquid biofuels

Not a scientist so when it came to listing these, I just used Google

Pharrell Williams, Humanrace, we need to be more responsible

Like a mudpot, like a geyser, put some pressure, I will explode

“Steam vent” is another term to refer to a fumarole, and

“Duplicitous” is another word to describe a two-faced hoe

There are people out there dying and you’re crying about your earring

Bitching about late Amazon orders meanwhile the Amazon itself is burning

Sit with yourself a moment and check your entitlement

I don’t care if you’re White, Black, or anything that is not green

Pick up your trash and quit being a self-centered, whining, littering bitch

Put the trash in the landfill, don’t mix it with the recyclables

Leave your waste out of developing nations

Canada, I’m looking at you and what you did to Filipinos

Keep your stank ass away from me if you’re a pussy boy who’s broke

This planet will run out of fossil fuels and we’ll need new energy

If I were president I would install panels, and let the world run on bad bitch energy

These hoes are green with envy, meanwhile I love my green earth

Shout out to the G20 for my first publication in the field of research

By day an environmental analyst, by night a poet, let’s go

But I’m a sassy bitch always, one-third saint and two-thirds hoe

Almost one-third land, over two-thirds ocean

I want to thank Mother Earth for being the OG MILF

Making me wet and keeping me hydrated

Serums and treatments to let that moisturizer sink in

Every night using Le Lift, now luxury became my second skin

I'm looking better and these haters are looking worse

It's fine if they bash me 'cuz the more they misbehave, the more that people respect my boss bitch behaviour

I like my plankton, my algae, that Biotherm Blue Therapy

I like my Aesop, my Parsley Seed, Chanel with that Hydra Beauty

Lancôme, La Mer, Chantecaille, Valmont, and Sisley

Shiseido, Clé de Peau, Erno Laszlo, Estée Lauder, Sulwhasoo, and La Prairie

Caudalie, Augustinus Bader, Barbara Sturm, Susanne Kaufmann, SK-II, and Charlotte Tilbury

Every bitch who’s ever hated me accrued more debt, got more wrinkles, and grew more ugly

Do it on the table, on the piano, on the bed, on my knees

I’m gay so I don’t have to worry about pregnancy

If you busted like a hot spring and got her pregnant

Your pullout game is weak

Let me ride that submarine as you hit that ocean floor

Don’t need an oxygen tank, I’ll just take it down my throat

His dick got a curve so I called him “seahorse”

There are billions of men in the world

It’s useless crying over a fuck boy when dick is an infinite resource

- dg

#poetry #nature #fossilfuels #energy

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arse-crack-thistle · 3 years

Text

10 characters, 10 fandoms, 10 tags

okay so yay i was tagged in something!! (thank you @overwhelmed-blueberry-muffin!) but i’m not super involved in fan culture like i was in high school (the exception being mcquiston books obvi) so this is just my favorite people from the first ten things i could think of! :)

henry fmw - rwrb - i almost picked alex bc he helped me realize my own sexuality, but it’s henry for me. i just connect with his character on a completely different emotional level than alex. (and i’m a sucker for soft boys.)

percy jackson - pjo/hoo/toa - it’s nearly impossible to pick a favorite character from riordan bc there are so many, and choosing percy might be sooo basic, but this boy right here got me through middle school and makes me laugh out loud during every reread, so as much as i love nico and reyna and lester, i gotta go with my main man percy.

christina yang - grey’s anatomy - i love this woman with my whole heart, and she never had a bad episode. knockout after knockout one liners too oh my god. beautiful and brilliant. 10/10.

calum hood - 5sos - i used to run a 5sos blog in high school, so i thought it only fitting to include the band that got me on tumblr. calum keeps to himself and does what he does. respect for a king living a quiet life with his dog. also he’s a bassist so it’s a given.

catherine howard - six - dudes, her song live just kills me. like i jam out to the cast recording, but watching her live is so emotional. if i ignored the message at the end of the show, catherine would win the “saddest life” competition imo.

peeta mellark - hunger games - he’s a soft bread boy. what else is there to say?? (fun fact: my longest piece of writing to date is a hg fanfic i wrote on wattpad when i was 15 lol.)

blair waldorf - gossip girl - it’s queen fucking b. who else am i going to pick?? (but fuck chuck tbh. did not deserve redemption imo.)

zuko - atla - not to steal one from blueberry muffin, but i can’t ignore a perfect character arc. let’s here it for our boy who recognized his trauma was not an excuse to terrorize people and worked to redeem himself. honor restored, zuko. love ya, buddy.

summer roberts - the oc - this girl had me going for a second there in the first season but then kicked me in the stomach with how amazing she was! my opinion of her at the end of the show was a complete 180 from the first few episodes. we love an environmentally conscious queen who uses her privilege for good!!

galleria - the cheetah girls - i’m talking specifically about the second one when this boss ass bitch wanted to win the festival, and her flakey friends complained about her hard work. are you kidding me?! not only did she write killer songs but she slayed every outfit she was put in. like strutting down the streets of barcelona in heels?! living her best life...living my best life tbh. and she was chubby which made 8-year-old me and makes 22-year-old me feel seen!

idk who my mutuals are since this is technically a secondary blog, so here are the first 10 people that came up: @henrygeorgeedwardjames @allthoughtisfeedback @sonecta @obsessed-bisexuwhale @bi-disaster-fsotus @claremonts-diaz @hufflepuff-ass-bitch @fucking-eyelashes @twohomessidebyside @gwen-stacey

anyone who wants to do it, feel free! (and tag me if you want to!) :)

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randomestfandoms-ocs · 3 years

Note

What’s Kirsty’s relationship with Jess like? (I know you touched on it a bit in the Yale ask but I wanna know more!)

Short answer: “true friends don’t judge each other, they judge other people together” meets “slow burn found family”

Long Answer: oh boy buckle up we’re getting an Outline™ bc I really don’t know how to sum it up bc it’s a lot of growth and shit! it’s like... many many paragraphs so I’m tossing this under a cut bc i don’t want to be murdered lmao

(I’m just... v proud of how much work went into planning out their whole arc and how the dynamic shifts and how certain plots play into things and I just wanted to share it all I couldn’t chill and I’m like half sorry but thank you for this ask I love them)

So when they first meet they don’t really get along because they’re just generally both kind of abrasive and shit, like it’s not personal on either end but they both generally push people away so that they don’t open themselves up to get hurt which makes their first couple of meetings kind of rough

but then there’s the dinner at Lorelai’s and Kirsty went outside because the whole vibe was just setting her on edge, and she hears the Lorelai rant bullshit (hi lorelai he’s seventeen and your an adult grow the fuck up) and as he leaves she goes after him — she tries to apologize for “my mom being... well, the way she is” and Jess immediately snaps back that he doesn’t want her pity, and Kirsty just shrugs and goes “nah dude I get it, parents suck. My dad is a piece of shit and my mom, well, you’ve met her... not to mention she named Rory after herself and me after my piece of shit dad so I’m sure you can guess who her favourite child is” and just keeps it very chill and Jess takes that a lot better than pity and they end up talking for a bit and are like “yeah okay I can get along with you” and like they aren’t close but they both like pissing Taylor off and giving Luke ulcers so it works well enough

Kirsty absolutely flips her shit when Taylor calls the town meeting about Jess like she tears into him more aggressively than anyone has seen before and basically tells them all to shut the fuck up and “let him at least settle in before you pull out the fucking pitchforks” and goes off on them all for trying to bully a seventeen year old kid out of a town he didn’t even choose to move to and like Luke still gets there and flips his shit too but Kirsty is completely feral calling out the hypocrisy and telling them to get off their high horses and pull their heads out of their asses — like they might not be close but Kirsty is so far beyond pissed at the idea of Taylor calling a meeting literally just to get everyone to hate Jess that she can’t just stand there quietly

Fast forward a bit and they’re getting along a bit better, Kirsty spends so much time at the diner that she and Jess have taken to talking during Jess’ shifts and Kirsty helps out when she can so they’re starting to actually get along, Kirsty has figured out the tells for when Jess just can’t deal with people anymore and will make up all sorts of excuses to get him a break (anything from ‘hey can you read over this essay’ to ‘hey did you remember to grab that book from upstairs’ to basically anything else that comes to mind) which he appreciates and when he’s on his breaks he sits at the counter to do homework with her

By the Bracebridge dinner they’re like actually friends, and when Jess meets Tristan for the first time he’s fully prepared to hate him but when he sees how shitty Lorelai is being about Tristan he’s just like “okay guess we’re in the same boat” so the three of them end up working together to stay as far away from Lorelai as possible for most of the night and Kirsty is just very grateful for the buffer because like she just can’t deal with Lorelai and Jess remembers her comment on the “you can guess who the favourite is” and starts to see how much Lorelai’s disapproval actually bothers Kirsty

fast forward even more to Christopher coming to town and with Sherry and all that and oof Kirsty is not okay like her relationship with Christopher is terrible and Jess kind of knows this already (based on the fact that Kirsty asked Luke to stand in for her dad at the debutante ball because she wanted nothing to do with Christopher; and he’s heard her bitch about him before) but when Christopher and Sherry come to the house, Kirsty excuses herself for “dance rehearsal” and runs over to the diner and Luke is out at the moment and Kirsty is Not Okay™ and Jess is the one who sees her just standing in the doorway shaking and clearly about to start crying and he just quietly leads her up to the apartment and sits down and lets her sort of collapse on the couch and she tells him about Christopher and about how unreliable and flakey he always was and how Luke has always been more her dad than him and he always shows up and tries to play happy family and then bails as soon as he gets bored or something comes up and about how now he’s apparently changing and becoming mr family man and why wasn’t she worth changing for

and jess has no idea how to handle this whole breakdown because he's a little bit emotionally stunted (which is fair and so is she) but it definitely resonates with him and he ends up sitting next to her and telling her that if Christopher wasn’t willing to change for she and Rory then it’s because of him not her and trying to comfort her even though he really doesn’t know how, and ends up opening up to her about Liz and his life before Stars Hollow too. It’s more than either of them have shared with anyone before and it’s very strange tbh — at this point they’re definitely veering into the friend category but neither of them would admit it, not to mention they don’t talk that often because neither of them wants to deal with a Lorelai Gilmore Hissy Fit, you know?

(also a sidenote, Tristan is completely chill about literally all of this like he and Kirsty are the healthiest relationship and have very good communication skills now and he's just like “hey I don’t live nearby and Kirsty hates cars, I’m just glad she has someone to talk to”)

and okay so now we’re at the episode where Lorelai accuses Jess of stealing the bracelet and this is just as Kirsty is getting home, and Lorelai is more of a bitch than in canon (but seriously Lorelai grow up and let Dean deal with his own relationship issues ugh) — as Jess is leaving, Kirsty turns around and calls Lorelai out on being an absolute bitch and on the fact that she’s an adult and Jess is seventeen and to grow the fuck up because she’s acting like her mother and believe it or not she doesn’t actually know everything. Kirsty then sort of storms off, and Jess ends up walking with her and just goes “hey, thanks for that” and Kirsty goes “don’t mention it” and they just sort of laugh and part ways so she can go to Miss Patty’s but anyways I’m soft for Kirsty fighting the entire town for him

then we have the hilarious scene of Kirsty looking Dean in the eye, knowing full well that he literally just saw her getting out of Tristan’s car, and going “yes I’m completely in love with jess is that a problem” and jess going “oh Kirsty I’m really flattered but while you were gone I started talking to Paris and I think I’m in love” and they’re just such little shits I love them

and okay now I promise we’re getting close to the speedrun part of this relationship lmaooo

so Kirsty is the one who ends up tutoring Jess and like he’s not on the verge of flunking because Kirsty has already been forcing him to do his homework semi regularly but he has trouble staying on task (he’s a mood) so Kirsty is basically there to make sure that he gets all of his final projects done — they take a break to go get ice cream and the car accident happens and Kirsty gets injured and she’s having a panic attack and she begs Jess to stay with her so he does, she lies to the hospital staff and tells them that he’s her step-brother so that he can stay with her because she’s afraid of hospitals and doesn’t want to be alone. He stays with her until they hear Lorelai and then sneaks out the window; at this point Kirsty has finally called him her friend — while high on painkillers and introducing him to Richard and Emily, who she had him call because she knew Lorelai wouldn’t (they like him much better in this !verse than canon because Kirsty knows how to play them lmao)

Lorelai still pitches a fit to Luke and Jess still leaves and jesus christ when Kirsty finds out about all of that she flips her shit even more than she did at the town meeting, calls Lorelai petty and selfish and a shit mother and tells her that she’s more like Emily than she wants to admit, and this is very possibly when Kirsty finally drops one of my favourite lines of hers — “you and Rory might be best friends first and mother daughter second but I never needed a best friend, I needed a mom. And now I don’t want either.” — and crashes at either Luke’s or Miss Patty’s (and is not thrilled when she finds out that Lorelai called Christopher and that he’s now back and awnting to play dad again)

fast forward and Kirsty knows Jess is in New York but they haven’t talked and Sookie’s wedding happens and Kirsty and Lorelai have their huge fight (this is the other point where that favourite line might happen, I’m torn) and Kirsty packs up and moves to New York for the summer to play Victoria in Cats on Broadway

She gets to New York and she’s staying at a hotel provided by the production company and she’s lonely and miserable and she’s never really been alone before and low and behold she stumbles into some diner on the verge of tears (just a bad day and everything is too much and she’s about to break) when all of a sudden she hears “wow, deja vu. Coffee?” and she turns around and low and behold it’s Jess Mariano. She accepts and sits at the diner until his shift is done and then they leave together and catch up and he offers to be her tour guide, and over the next week they become really close (all of both of their coworkers think that they’re siblings at this point) and blah blah lots of details I won’t get into bc seriously how many paragraphs is this thing, but Emily and Richard end up renting Kirsty this huge penthouse apartment and she manages to convince them to let Jess live with her and they become super close and kind of codependent and skip right over the friend stage to the “this is my brother, Jess” stage lmao and basically everyone in stars hollow except for lorelai and rory (bc kirsty and lorelai aren’t talking for most of the summer and rory is in dc so she and kirsty aren’t talking much either) know because they all came out for her opening weekend and everyone thinks it’s hilarious and their new york friends think Luke is their dad bc he called them “my kids” without thinking about it

also Tristan visits as much as he can get away with and seriously he and Jess become really good friends too and they’re just like, an iconic trio okay I love them

fast forward they go back to stars hollow together the day of the summer festival thing and that’s when Lorelai and Rory find out about their friendship and Lorelai is Not Happy and then Tristan shows up and the three of them are being adorable and having a great time and Lorelai flips out and there’s yet another fight (seriously Lorelai pls stop assuming you always know best, you don’t) and the fight is angsty but there’s the softness of jess finally really accepting that Kirsty meant it when she said that things weren’t going to change when they got back to stars hollow and they don’t and it’s just great

and in season 3 they’re just still all soft and codependent and Lorelai is forced to accept that Jess knows Kirsty better than she does and Rory has some really fun “what the actual fuck” moments watching Lorelai & Luke and Kirsty & Jess have the exact same arguments because Kirsty did inherit Lorelai’s ability to annoy people into doing things like participating in town events and season 3 is just very very soft and there are so many scenes/episodes that I’m so excited for

and anyways this was so long and I’m sorry but also I’m not because like i just really love this dynamic and I want to just like skip two seasons and just write new york & season three because i love them so muchhhhhhhh and anyways yeah

TLDR they’re a slowburn rivals to found family with a speedrun towards the end and i fucking love them so much

#ask #answered #papergirlverse #kirsty gilmore #about kirsty #kirsty x jess #but like platonic

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