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keicordelle · 2 months

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Chapter 12: None but the Brave. They've finally reached the starting point, after all this time. An apology, a clarification, and a kiss, to set them on the right path at last.

Read it on Ao3 at the link above, or check out the first chapter on Tumblr here.

Thancred’s teeth dug into his lower lip, worrying at the already chafed skin there as he paced another line across the living room. The heavy thud of his feet against the floorboards counted time all too clearly, each step another second that Urianger was gone who knew where. He should be back by now, shouldn't he? No matter how mad he was at Thancred, he wouldn't make him worry by staying out all night, right?

Anxiety clawed at his belly. His palms itched for the hilt of a dagger or the hefty weight of his gunblade — anything to distract him from the swirling vortex of his thoughts. His resolve to offer Urianger space until he was ready to talk wavered. Maybe he should go out and find him after all. If something had happened to him while he was out there alone, in his blasted nightgown and without a lick of defensive protection...

The creak of the front door opening wrenched Thancred from that thought before it could reach its distressing conclusion. His head shot up, gaze immediately seeking out the figure silhouetted in the frame.

He’s okay. Relief spilled through Thancred, hot and liquid through his veins as it swept away the scrabbling worry that gripped him as easily as that. Urianger lingered there in the doorway, the blaze of light that framed him rendering it hard to make out his features, but he looked fine — physically, at least. Still in his nightgown, the frumpy robe fluttering around his ankles, but he sported his usual divining cards at his hip, and Thancred couldn't see any injuries on him.

Thancred stepped forward without thinking, overcome by the urge to walk up to him and reassure himself that he was really alright. He stopped himself before he could take more than a step, forcing himself to rock back on his heels, hands shoved into his pockets. The last thing Urianger needed right now was to have him fussing over him. Not when he'd just spent the whole day hiding from him. No, Thancred needed to let him have his space, and to not mess this up any more than he already had.

But damn, he hadn't expected how badly he'd want to touch him. Just seeing him standing there made Thancred’s hands itch, the phantom feeling of Urianger’s lips on his returning in full force. Hells.

No, he could do this. He could be normal. He would not ruin their relationship by pushing Urianger’s boundaries. He could pretend it never happened, and they would go back to being friends, just like before. Eventually, these desires would fade. They had to.

The silence dragged on between them, neither of them quite sure what to say. The awkwardness was palpable, hanging thick and heavy above their heads like a guillotine. One wrong move and—

"Thancred, I..." Urianger started after what felt like an eternity. He shifted awkwardly from foot to foot, letting to door drift shut behind him. He cleared his throat before trying again. "I wish to apologize. I should not have fled from thee this morning. I was... unprepared for the consequences of mine actions, and I reacted poorly. Pray forgive me."

Spending the whole day anticipating it didn't make Thancred any more prepared to hear it. Disappointment banded around his chest. His heart gave one dismayed thump before he schooled his features into heartfelt compassion, one hand lifting casually to brush off Urianger’s apology. "It's alright, no apology needed. Can't blame you for being a little out of sorts after waking up in my arms like that. Sorry about that. I'll be sure it doesn't happen again." No more bed sharing, and no more fantasizing. Bad enough he couldn't stop thinking about him, about touching him and kissing him and— Ahem. Better to simply avoid any situation that sounded like it came straight out of a romance novel. Avoid the temptation. Thancred didn't want to do anything that would risk damaging their friendship more than he already had. "Let's just forget it ever happened." The false smile rose easily to his lips, the charming mask falling readily into place despite the knife that twisted itself between his ribs. You'll get over it. A quick lay and a bottle of booze or two, and you won't even remember the way his tongue curled novicely over your teeth or how his hands clutched at your hair like it was all that kept him grounded.

Urianger's head jerked up, something like alarm flashing over his face. Before Thancred could quite puzzle that out, his face fell, confliction twisting his features. Oh gods, that wasn't going to be enough for him. Did Urianger want him to leave? It was only fair that he did; Urianger had been too generous by far in taking them in, and they’d long since overstayed their welcome. If he woke Minfilia now, they could be gone before Urianger’s nightly tea. They could go to the Crystarium, maybe, if Ran'jit were off their trail for the moment. Or maybe further east, into the wilds that lurked there, and try to eke out a living within.

"I do not want to simply forget our kiss," Urianger said, his voice quiet but filled with surprising conviction. Thancred braced himself for his scorn, the walls that had long guarded his heart falling back into place with each second that he hesitated. Urianger’s hands twisted in his nightgown, nervous and restless. Longing for the glittering chains that belonged there, if only to have something more tactile to fidget with.

Then he stilled himself, his chin lifting until his eyes locked with Thancred’s. The ardency within them froze Thancred in place, his breath caught in his throat as he stared into a golden affection so deep he felt he could trip and fall into it. "I regret not the kiss that we shared, only my reaction to it. How could I wish to forget a kiss so tender, with thy lips so gentle upon mine and thy hands so sweet upon my waist? 'Twas not for want of rescinding the kiss that I fled, but because I wished only to experience another. The taste of thy lips hast lingered upon my tongue the day entire. Thou did naught more than fulfill the request I so selfishly asked of thee, and yet I would seek to claim still more. I..."

His eyes dropped, watching his hands as they fiddled with themselves. "I am unused to this sensation — to any of these sensations. In thy presence, I yearn for things I have never cared to experience before, and I must avow that I am inadept at navigating mine own emotions. But..." He made as if to step forward, but he hesitated, his hands falling lamely to his sides as he rocked back on his heels. "I would not wish thee to think that I harbored any ill feelings about that moment. I... liked it. A great deal." A blush, delicate pink staining his cheeks and out along the length of his ears. He ducked his head, looking up at Thancred through silver lashes. "I find myself... wishing that I might do so again."

Thancred stared back at him, dumbfounded. His pulse beat in his ears, heart fluttering beneath his ribs. Was that... Could he...? "What are you saying? You're... You want to kiss me?" Thancred’s cool facade cracked, strain teasing around the edges of his voice. His legs ached with the strength it took to hold still, to ask and be sure before he did something that might be misconstrued if he was wrong.

Urianger looked up, his bashful yearning bleeding into anxiety and then distress as he saw Thancred flounder. "I— forgive me," he backpedaled. "I should not have assumed that thou wouldst be— If thou wouldst prefer we not speak of this again, that is— Understood. I will—"

Long strides carried Thancred across the room, closing the distance that stretched between them until he could reach up and cup the back of Urianger’s neck. With no trace of hesitation, Thancred pulled Urianger down to him, seizing his lips in a bruising kiss. Urianger gasped, eyes going wide for the barest of instants before he sank into Thancred, hands rising to find their place on his waist. He bent for him, easing the strain that burned through Thancred’s calves as he settled back on his heels, pulling Urianger in close and kissing him with all the emotion that roiled beneath his breast. He crushed Urianger’s mouth to his, harsher than he deserved, lips moving over his and teeth catching on his lower lip.

A tremor shivered through Urianger, washing away the uncertainty that held him stiff and unsure against Thancred. He hesitated only a moment before he was kissing him back, awkward and ungainly as he was that morning, but replete with just as much passion as Thancred crammed into his own kiss. One hand rose tentatively from its place on Thancred’s waist to stroke up his back, fingers curling into his shirt to clutch eagerly at his shoulder blade.

Thancred drew Urianger against him, the heat of his body soaking into Thancred’s skin as he pulled him into an embrace. His body responded to Urianger’s nearness, and he forced his thoughts away, not wanting to make things awkward for him. Gods, he smelled delicious, like citrus and wilderness, the faint tang of sweat teasing at his nose as Thancred breathed him in.

Their lips didn't part for a moment, the kiss slowly sliding from crushing eagerness to something softer, gentleness taking over. The soft fall of Urianger’s hair tickled over the back of Thancred’s hand, his beard scratching at his jaw as Urianger’s head tipped further, lips parting to allow Thancred in. He really was a fast learner; this morning's lesson had not been lost on him, no matter the hours they’d spent apart. Then again, if he'd been dwelling on it half so much as Thancred had today, he wasn't surprised. Still, Urianger’s tongue was awkward against his when he slipped between his lips, licking at his mouth. That was alright; Thancred was perfectly happy to help him practice.

They pulled back only when the lack of oxygen forced them apart. Urianger leaned his brow against Thancred’s, their breath mingling as they both panted for air. Slowly, his hands uncurled from Thancred’s shirt, and Thancred let go of his hold on his neck to allow Urianger to straighten.

He did, clearing his throat and looking bashfully away, that beautiful pink flush staining his cheeks and neck. "That was— er... nice," he said awkwardly, rubbing at the back of his neck.

"Nice, huh?" Thancred brushed a lock of Urianger’s hair back behind his ear, watching as his blush deepened. "Does that mean I'll get to kiss you again?"

Surprised jolted through him, and he met Thancred’s eyes at last. "Thou wouldst wish to?"

Thancred laughed, a quiet huff of disbelief. "Yes, Urianger. I'll kiss you any time you want. In fact, I rather enjoy kissing you."

"I am not... experienced, with this sort of thing. I know not that I can offer thee all that thou might wish of me."

"Hells, Urianger, we're not talking about marriage here. We'll figure it out as we go. I'm not going to ask any more of you than you're willing to give." Urianger nodded, just a slight dip of his chin, his gaze uncertain but hopeful on Thancred’s. Full of possibilities and the paths this might take them. "For now, can I kiss you again?"

That made him smile, his whole face lighting up with the expression. Thancred’s heart throbbed with it, greedy and zealous. "I would like that," Urianger said.

So Thancred drew him down for another kiss, gentle and tender this time, like he deserved. And when Urianger’s arms went around him, they held him just as tightly as he'd hoped they would, holding him close against Urianger as he kissed him back, inexpert but passionate.

And Twelve, Thancred had no idea what this meant for them or where it was going to lead them, but damn, he couldn't wait to find out.

[Chapter 13]

[Kofi/Commissions]

#ffxiv #thanuri #urithan #thancred waters #urianger augurelt #thancred #urianger #ffxiv fanfiction #first for everything #my writing #~k

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