"I told you I would always come for you. Why didn't you wait for me?" "Well, you were dead." "Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while." "I will doubt again." "There will never be a need."

True love! a bit ineffable, wouldn't you say?

I think that Good Omens is similar to The Princess Bride in that both are full of humor and maybe don't take themselves too seriously, but are also full of love <3

Happy Valentine's Day! Have a little silliness and a smooch!

more princess omens

Not A Quitter

Pairings: stepbro!JJ x stepsis!reader

Warnings: MDNI, unsolicited dick pic, stepcest, p in v, unprotected sex, creampie, oral (both receive), slight dark JJ at the end, etc.

Summary: stepbro JJ accidentally sends you a dick pic meant for someone else

Authors Note: Hi! Another Random Dick Pic! Please don't click unless you are 18+!!! Proceed at your own risk! Unedited, sorry if it's terrible, this was a quick finish up from my drafts.

You were just trying to study in your room peacefully. The lyrics to 18 by One Direction filled your ears as you were writing down notes for your exam in history class tomorrow.

As your favorite part was coming up, you paused so you could sing along to it. You were waiting to hear Niall's 'we took a chonce' but it never came. A notification had interrupted it. You received a snap from your step-brother JJ. He probably wanted to know what you were going to make for dinner since your mom and his dad were out.

You clicked on the picture not expecting what you saw next.

🔥Jayj🔥:

(Authors Note: MDNI!!! This is a RANDOM dick pic I found online. Please proceed at your own risk.)

"Whatcha doin tonight baby?"

*Y/N POV*

I knew it was meant for someone else but he really turned me on. I figured he didn't even notice yet. This was probably so bad of me but it felt really good to do this.

I took my top off and snapped him back with a picture of my tits. Next thing I know I hear a few slams and what I assume is JJ running to my room. "What the fuck??" He said exploding into my room like I did something wrong. I was still sitting topless at my desk. "Why did you send me a picture of your tits??" He questioned but it looked like he was starting to blush. "Why did you send me a picture of your dick??" I yelled back at him. His face went pale. "What do you mean?!" JJ seemed very anxious at this point. "You sent me a picture of your big cock and asked what I was doing." I gave him doe eyes after my statement, but I could tell he couldn't keep his eyes on anything but my 38DD's.

"I-I didn't mean to send that to you I'm sorry." JJ looked softly at me bending down to his knees when he realized I was a little upset. "I'm not saying I didn't enjoy what I saw, or what I'm still seeing, it was just, my picture was meant to go to Kiara." I still hung my head low. "Hey you're gorgeous, and I love your tits, they are so perky and fucking perfect." He said reaching out his hands to touch them and I let him. "So...fucking...perfect." I looked into his eyes. I could tell something was bugging him.

"What's wrong?" I begged, wanting to know what was clouding that beautiful head of his. "I just- I'm getting nowhere with Kie and I still sent that shit anyway, knowing I'd be alone in my room, playing with myself." He tried to look down but I wouldn't let him. I tilted his head back up with my pointer finger. "I can help you Jayj." I say almost too fast. "But wouldn't that be wrong? We are step siblings now." He had a point but so did I. "True, but we aren't blood related, and you break the rules 24/7. Plus are you really going to turn down getting your dick sucked, and possibly more?" His eyes widened as I continued my statement. "And, you just fondled my tits, I think it's a little too late to worry about being step siblings." I let out a small chuckle.

He let an awkward pause sit between my last speech and what he did next. JJ put his hands on both sides of my face pulling me into the deepest kiss I've ever had. His lips never left mine as he started pulling my shorts and panties off. Before I could say anything his hand snaked between my legs and his fingers started toying with my clit. He pulled our lips apart and rested his forehead on mine while I moaned for him.

"You're already so wet for me baby." My eyes were closed but I could see his dumbass smirk in my head. He slipped his finger between my folds, but never went further. This bitch was teasing me. My eyes were pinched shut, hoping for more contact. Next thing I know, I feel his warm, wet tongue slowly lap at my clit. I couldn't help but lightly hump his tongue. "More...Jayj-" I moaned out. He reached up and grabbed my right boob which caused me to look down at him. I was greeted with the darkest, sexiest, hungriest, pair of eyes I have ever seen, and they were between my thighs. Without taking his eyes off mine he licked my clit back and forth painfully slowly. I went to shut my eyes again when I felt a sting on my pussy, he had just slapped it which of course got my attention. "Eyes on me princess." That was almost enough to send me over the edge. He went back to my clit, sucking on it this time and actually inserting a finger. I was a moaning mess for him. He loved every minute of it. He also loved hearing his name or his nickname slip from my lips. "Jayj- I'm-Im close."

I shouldn't have said a word. He stopped everything he was doing immediately after I said that. I frowned and whined at the lack of contact.

Without saying anything he got up and tossed me over his shoulder, taking me to my bed and playfully throwing me onto it. Before he got on the bed with me he undressed himself which was very pleasant to watch. I know I just saw his dick over Snapchat, but damn it was even better in person. He was on his knees on the bed in front of me. His hand found the back of my head and lightly nudged me forward. "Come here princess, help me out a little."

My lips met his tip, giving a few small pecks before slowly taking him in my mouth. I swirled my tongue around which resulted in JJ throwing his head back. He gripped my hair and began pushing down so I would go up and down.

(A/N: A little background information, if you wanna skip go to the next A/N.)

I did whatever this man wanted me to do. I had always liked JJ, even before our parents met. We were actually the reason they met. JJ and I have been best friends since middle school and with all the trouble we used to get into, our parents met several times. We grew a bit apart because of them deciding to marry each other. JJ and I had a weird..thing going on before our parents became a couple. Sometimes when we were curious we would go to each other and see what would happen. Nothing ever really came from it other than lots of kissing and sometimes some heavy petting. We called all of that off two years ago though. When he had come to the conclusion that he couldn't have me anymore, he ran to Kiara, and she was ready for that immediately. Everything was going great for them I guess, other than now, she's not even really responding to his messages.

(A/N: End of Information.)

When he was near his breaking point, I released my mouth and laid on my back. He crawled on top of me, starting a little make out session. I couldn't help my hand from finding his cock and rubbing him as we kissed. "Here baby, let's get you in a nice position." He flipped me over into doggystyle. This man was not wasting time anymore. He stuck his cock inside me as soon as I flipped over. We gasped in unison as he slipped himself into my tight pussy. "Are you trying to make me bust right now?" He let out a little chuckle which made my response a giggle. "Didn't take you for a one minute quitter Maybank." I had to tease him, I knew it would stir him up and in turn I would get dicked down harder.

And I did.

Without saying a word he began pulling my hips back to meet his. He was defending his honor, no one insulted him in such a way. He grabbed my hair and tied it around his hand, pulling me back far enough to feel some strain. He pounded harder making sure I would remember every detail from this moment. I couldn't stop my moan from exploding out of my mouth. "What was that baby? Is this too much for you? You wanna quit, slut?" I knew what he was fucking doing. He's not slick, I mean he is but not like that. "I'm not a quitter, unlike you." This riled him up even more. He went harder, spanking me until my ass was nearly bleeding. My vision was foggy and I knew nothing but pleasure. He only went harder and faster with every thrust. "Fuck I'm g-gonna cum." I barely got out. Before he could even react, I came all over his dick. Damn it. He didn't finish yet. I was tossed onto my back, into missionary, without his dick ever exiting me.

I felt a hot sting on my cheek. "Did I say you could cum, slut?!" It was almost difficult to take JJ so seriously while calling me that. He continued fucking my tight hole, I was already very sensitive so tears began to prick at my eyes. "N-no.." He lightly tapped my sensitive nub, repeatedly. "Then why did you?" JJ asked with a stern voice, keeping his quick pace. "I don't know, I'm sorry." "You're gonna be sorry slut, cause we aren't done yet." His thrusts were getting sloppy so I knew he was close. Eventually he came inside me, making sure he shoved all the cum that slipped out, right back in.

I started breathing and getting comfortable in bed. "What do you think you're doing princess?" He asked with that same harsh tone. "Getting ready for bed." I was a little confused. "I said, we. aren't. done. yet." He settled behind me reaching his arms out in front of me. "But you-u" "Oh, are you quitting?" He smirked. This bitch. "Game on." We went all night long. Needless to say, I think we are both very competitive.

I do think that last pic is interesting bc it's like Ortega is too clueless to figure out when someone/sidestep has a crush on them. but also if you have a step who had a secret crush on them, visit ortega at the hospital, and chose the " 'Of course I care about you.' Even though I shouldnt" option ortega will figure out your crush right there which changes your relationship from secret crush to 'its complicated'. oh ortega can also figure out sidesteps crush at hoots of they answer the 'are you flirting with anyone?' question with the 'its complicated' option. idk ! i just think its neat that they Can figure out sidesteps feelings but overall they are pretty clueless about it. I also like that if ortega does figure out their crush they dont make a big thing of it. they just offer themself as an opportunity that sidestep can take if they want to act on it. "I just found out that you have a crush on me, and rather than have an Actual Conversation about this I'm just going to let you know that I'd like to kiss you. And that maybe I feel the same. Do with this what you will." I love them

[ 𝕥𝕖𝕩𝕥 ] - 𝓉𝑜𝓂 & 𝑜𝓁𝒾𝓋𝒾𝒶

tom: do we come to the reality that friendships as adults is just another area in out adult lives that we have to figure out? i do miss the days when you could just say you liked someone's shirt on a playground and they become your best friend. i try to be but you're kind and i can't overlook that. it takes a lot to be kind these days. it was lovely to see you in berlin, love. did you have a good time getting to be a part of the culture? it fascinating to be at a proper oktoberfest. when i tell you that mia loved getting to meet you, i truly mean that. she absolutely loved your little family and that makes me realize we need to get together more often. care to make this a monthly thing? now that would be hilarious to see! went the opposite direction on the skills but how lovely your house would be when he's older and can play music for you all. christmas carols on the piano? i may have to crash your holidays. i have a feeling that scarlett and mia will be running over these boys before they even know it. i can only send pictures if you promise to send me them in return because this smile? why are they always so precious when they don't have teeth? pure gums. she's got a beauty to her then and i have no doubt that she gets it from you. would you say that weston looks more like danny then? i can see the similarities in their features. oh, i would never. besides, we all get overly emotional about our kids. they're our greatest treasures, least that's how i see it so you're fully warranted to go off about how much you adore them. they're yours and the best parts of you, yeah? has it been nice having kids close together? i tend to think about having more kids, now more than i ever have because mia is getting closer to being one but... it's mental thinking about her growing up and being a big sister eventually. i know that i'm ready but i just need the greenlight from nat since she's the one that calls that shots. she had a relatively easy pregnancy with mia but i want her to be ready more than anything. one of five? ah, one more and i am so i do get it. are you the youngest? oldest, like me? how has the season been going for danny?

Liv: it's just harder. when you're a kid, you see your friends every day at school or in the neighborhood. when you're an adult, your friends could be all over the world so it takes actual effort to keep the friendship. which i don't hate at all, because the people who want to be in your life make that effort. it doesn't mean you talk every day, but effort is effort in my eyes. what's the sense in being mean? feels like a wasted effort in my opinion. germany was really fun! i'd never been before so it was amazing to be there during such an iconic time. big fan of the dirndl. have you been before? aww, what a sweetheart! mia is stunning and you might have a little model on your hands. can we? i could kiss her cute little cheeks all day long and scarlett loved having someone a little more alert than her brother to play with. if you ever want to come to vegas to catch a game, let me know. though i wouldn't be offended if vegas is the last place you want to visit 😂 my entire family is musical – we all sing and play at least one instrument. danny has a nice voice and plays the guitar, so it's really not an option that these kids will be musical in some way. you're more than welcome to crash any time, especially if we're in rhode island because christmas there is nothing short of pure magic. of course! you don't have to ask me twice considering my camera roll is mostly of them. and you better be sending mia pics in exchange! aww, thank you. obviously i think she's gorgeous but it's nice hearing it from an unbiased source too! a little bit! his eyes are darker, but he reminds me a lot of scarlett so it'll be interesting to see if he grows more into his amendola side. ideal for me, because a mini danny would be the cutest thing! hopefully they're the best parts of us. it's all any parent wants for their kids, right? i've enjoyed their close age range. it's hard right now because they're both so dependent on us but i think that they'll be close when they're older. and it helps that we're still on diaper duty with scarlett so we didn't get spoiled with having to go back to them. i've heard that's the worst, haha! one is still little, but there's no right or wrong way to go. you have to do what's best for you and your family, and sometimes it just happens and it's a nice surprise when it does. whether mia is one or eleven, she's going to be an amazing big sister! smart man to realize it's your wife who calls the shots! every pregnancy is different too. scarlett was a fairly quick birth and weston came twice as fast, which was slightly terrifying but not at the same time since we had already been through it once before. you're the oldest? how old is your youngest sibling? no, i'm right in the middle – the neglected middle child, which speaks so much to my personality haha! @tcmhcll

Cosmic~... Ch. 3

And as they made their way inside the club, Galatea remained still with her head on his shoulder. His jacket remained draped over her shoulders, glittering in the dimmer light still. His arm remained wrapped around her shoulders as he pet her hair & pressed a kiss to her lips & cheek before intimating to his angel. "I can't wait for you to meet Richard, dear. He oughta love you!"

Just as he said that, in short order they were lead to a table where a man with close cropped hair, moustache & goatee waved them over.

"Richard! There you are!" Jimmy smiled.

"Jimmy!" He greeted, before casting his eyes in Galatea's direction in evident bemused surprise. "And just who might this lovely young thing be?..."

~

"A surprise!" Jimmy laughed, greeting Richard with a hug. "We met when she returned my runaway scarf after the show. She's the most marvelous girl! Despite being a local here she was even at the Royal Albert gig if you can believe it!"

"Well! What a fortunate surprise! And such a lovely surprise too! The name's Richard. Pleasure to meet you, luv." He leant over the table to shake her hand.

"Nice to meet you as well." Galatea nodded, smiling at Jimmy as he pulled her chair out for her to sit. "The name's Galatea."

"Wait..." Richard's eyes narrowed slightly, something clearly twigging for him. After studying her as she pulled her chair in, Richard nodded. "I thought you looked familiar..."

Jimmy peered curiously at Richard at that last remark.

"What?" Galatea froze.

"You've been in the Daily Mirror lately back at home haven't you? Miss 34E or DD - 22 - 37?"

Galatea's cheeks flamed red as she gaped & then covered her mouth. She pulled Jimmy's coat closer around her, shrugging and scrunching her shoulders, huddling into it. Her hair shielding her face slightly, she gazed up at Jimmy nervously.

Jimmy's mouth was in a tight line. He cut his eyes over at his old friend, holding up a hand. "Richard, lay off! You're clearly making her uncomfortable. She doesn't like it, so lay off."

Richard just laughed, placing a big mitt over hers as it moved to lie on the table. "I'm sorry, my dear. I don't mean to unnerve you. It's just my way. It's my plight it seems. I apologize."

Galatea nods softly, speaking just as softly. "I-I-It's alright. It's alright. I guess I'm just a little sensitive. I'm a little new to this. Those were some of my first pics so, I'm just not used to the attention."

Slowly, her posture regained its elegant yet still shy poise. Shoulders gently squared, gaze lifted off her lap & arresting Richard enough to make him gasp & hush out another. "Sorry." Though it was hard to tell if her chest was thrust out due to her ladylike - and likely parochial school-trained - posture or just due to nature and the many blessings it bestowed upon her. And despite his "better inclinations", Richard TRIED his best to figure it out.

In the meantime, menus were perused and Galatea remarked. "Oh they serve Italian here! I like making a few of these dishes for fun."

Richard & Jimmy's eyebrows raised, both chorusing in the single word response. "Really?"

She nodded. "Certainly not the whole menu. Just a few dishes. Caccio e pepe. Fettuccine Alfredo. Spaghetti with homemade marinara."

"Homemade?" Jimmy quirked a brow as his mouth quirked into a slow wide grin. "Well! I'd love to taste this homemade work of yours one day. That is... If I should be so lucky..."

Galatea broke out into a smile that started slow & shy & turned into the brightest, beaming smile he'd ever seen on her. She lit up from with in. And with that, for Jimmy & Richard, she lit up the room.

"I'd love that. I'd love to cook for you one day. Should you find the time that is..." She giggled.

The only thing that broke her merriment momentarily was the sight of Jimmy shivering slightly & rubbing his arms. Galatea, without even thinking, removed his jacket and draped it back around his shoulders.

Richard saw something flicker between Galatea & Jimmy. He figured upon first meeting - and reciting the attributes of - the young miss, that he knew or at least had an inkling of an idea of just what drew Jimmy to her. But now, he wondered if there wasn't more to this between the two. More to the couple, coupling, or potential coupling. More to this young girl.

It went beyond just the juxtaposition of her sipping Shirley Temples to his Johnnie Walker.

It went beyond their holding hands over the table. His thumb caressing her as she gave him soft little squeezes back.

Their gazes locked often, a secret passing between them, a secret flame flickering in their eyes & flicking the corners of their mouths up in a smoothly painted smile.

Richard knew that look. He'd seen it much before. Many times before. Jimmy was lost in her eyes. And she was lost in him. Loose and on the prowl for the first time in awhile, the "Dark Mage" as some might call him, had finally found his prey.

They protected each other instinctively. He shielded her from prying eyes & her anxieties as she did him. He shielded her with his cloak & anything he could. And she returned the favor with anything she could offer. Even the figurative "broken wings" he supposed that Jimmy saw in her.

Each time their gazes strayed from each other they seemed to look upon the world as if just awakening or reawakening. Starry eyed, faintly surprised & curious as to what if anything they missed.

The night went quickly from there. And to Richard's less than total surprise, when they decided to wrap things up, upon paying the tab Jimmy took Galatea by the hand once more & led her out into the night. What was a bit more surprising was Jimmy's leaving a hefty tip before spiriting his stunning young find out into the night & back to the car.

What sort of effect did this young girl have on Jimmy exactly?

And how?

What sort of girl is she?

But before he can even think to contemplate that much, Richard finds his thoughts cut off by a departing salute from Jimmy.

"See you in the morning, Richard!" Jimmy called as he disappeared.

Galatea adding a quick. "Nice to meet you!" Over her shoulder as she was led out.

And then they were gone...

~

Hope you guys enjoy~!

As ever this is forever under construction~!...

I saw your pic of Winona and Helena and I was wondering if you could do a short ficlet of maybe young Joyce discussing her fling/friendzone/love with Hop with her older sister cause hell she's desperate about it

Like the sister could ask her out, give advice, tease her about it, they could talk about each other's experiences or Joyce could even ask her for advice cause she's afraid to fuck things up if it gets physical

I'm not a writer so I'm leaving all my ideas here, I'd love if you wrote this but don't worry if you're too busy or sth

Dear Anon -- I don’t normally take many fic requests because I’m such a slow writer, but this one just sprouted fully formed from my brain the moment I read your ask! It still took me a few days to get after since life got busy for me. It also turned out to be about 1400+ words so I’ve pasted below under the cut. I’ll be uploading it to Ao3 soon too when I get a chance :) I’d be happy to dedicate it to you if you feel comfortable dm-ing me your username on Ao3. Thank you for sending it along!

"Hey, you! What's wrong?"

Joyce nearly jumped out of her skin at the disembodied voice that called out from the empty bedroom -- or at least, the bedroom she thought was empty. She turned on a dime, clutching for her heart. Joyce might’ve been sixteen going on seventeen, but she was far too young for a heart attack.

"Jesus!" She gasped at the familiar figure sitting at the edge of the bed. "I didn't know you were home."

"Ma didn't tell you I was coming home for Thanksgiving?" Stella stopped unpacking the small duffle at her feet and raised an eyebrow at her sister.

Joyce sighed and leaned against the doorframe.

"Ma's not even here! She went to Chicago this morning with her new beau."

"Color me surprised," Stella deadpanned, throwing the pair of socks down on the bed in disgust. "Which one? Tom?"

Joyce shook her head.

"Randy. Tom was married."

Stella rolled her eyes and reached for another handful of clothes.

"Of course he was," she snapped. "How does she keep falling for that same old line?"

Joyce only shrugged and toed the door jamb, waiting for her sister to invite her into her room.

They hadn't seen much of each other since Stella ran off at sixteen to live with her boyfriend in Philadelphia, almost two years previous, and as the months and then the years passed by, Joyce felt more and more distant from the sister she grew up with. It was beginning to feel like eons had passed since they would spend all their days together, playing dolls and dress-up in that exact bedroom, performing plays for the neighborhood kids in the backyard or riding their bikes downtown to go try on perfume and makeup at the five and dime.

Joyce was still a little miffed at Stella for running off and leaving her behind with their mother and not taking Joyce with her when she left. It didn't seem fair that she had to stay when she was the baby -- the baby with the most responsibility -- the one who ended up making sure Ma didn't go completely off the rails, dependent on the bottle again or running off with a third husband. The resentment Joyce still carried always made her forget just how much she missed having her big sister around and how much she still needed her.

Stella looked up from her duffle bag and saw Joyce standing there, looking at her with big, red-rimmed eyes.

"Sorry Ma skipped town. I'm glad you're home," Joyce said, meaning it.

Stella's frown melted, and she dropped the clothes in a heap, patting the bed beside her.

"I am too. Now tell me what's wrong."

Joyce sighed deeply.

"Nothing. It's stupid."

"Boys?" Stella asked with a knowing grin.

Joyce sighed again, and her eyes fluttered up to the ceiling, embarrassed at the degree of stupidity she was feeling that very moment. She willed herself not to cry over him.

Stella pushed Joyce's bangs out of her eyes and off her cheeks, where they stuck to pale skin, and gave her little sister a look. But instead of imbibing confidence, it just made Joyce want to cry more.

She made a face and sucked in a breath before letting it all out.

"Karen and I saw Hop behind the bleachers with one of the cheerleaders today at lunch."

Stella's eyebrows shot up.

"Oh. Which cheerleader?"

"Chrissy Carpenter. That bottle blonde bubble-headed... bimbo!"

Joyce glared out the window and across the street at the edge of Hopper's front lawn, the only piece of his house she could see from that angle.

Stella choked back a giggle when she noticed how intensely Joyce was staring.

"Woah. That's some serious alliteration."

"Yeah, well," Joyce grumbled and shrugged. "I'm upset."

Stella went back to emptying out the rest of her bag, but not before throwing her sister a loving look.

"I can see that. But I thought you and Jimmy were just friends?"  

"We are!" Joyce finally dragged her eyes off his house and pouted at Stella before trailing off. "It's just that…"

"Oh come on," Stella said and ruffled Joyce's bangs. "You know you can tell me!"

There was another eye roll from Joyce.

"I just thought that something had changed between us this year. Maybe... Oh, I don't know anymore."

Then she clammed up.

Stella walked over to the window, took out a pack of Slims, and lit one up before opening the window a crack.

"Know what? Spit it out, sis!"

Joyce couldn't look at her older, prettier, more elegant sister, sitting there smoking at the windowsill like some french model who could have any man she wanted -- wrapped around her little finger. Joyce wished she could only look so mod and in charge.

Instead, she felt pathetic for pining after the boy across the street.

"Well," she started, flopping back on the bed, finding it easier to confess without having to worry about seeing the look of judgment cross Stella's face. "He'd been acting weird since we went camping this last summer. Then I realized by the second week of September that he was over here almost every night. At first, he said he needed help with his schoolwork because he really wanted to graduate, and since we're in all the same classes, it made sense, right? But by October, he was coming over for the dumbest reasons, and then I started to think he was gonna ask me to the homecoming dance. Like, I was so sure he was gonna do it. A few times, actually. But it was like he chickened out or something."

Stella held up a hand to pause Joyce there, even though Joyce couldn't see it.

"Waitaminute. Didn't you say on our last phone call that Lonnie Byers asked you out that night?"

"Yep, and what a date that was." Joyce rolled her head to the side and looked at her sister with a scowl.

Stella smirked, tapping the end of the cigarette out over the eaves.

"I warned you about him."

"Yeah yeah, I know: 'Lonnie Byers is scum.' But I'm pretty sure we're talking about Hop here?"

"Pardonne Moi! Please... continue."

"So, he seemed a bit distant after homecoming, but he'd still come over to study sometimes, and I'd catch him staring at me. It almost looked like he wanted to kiss me or something. And one day during gym, he told me I looked pretty when I knew for a fact I was a sweaty, frizzy mess. I guess it got in my head because I started to think, well maybe I want him to kiss me. And maybe I like him too? I was gonna tell him this weekend. I had it all planned out. But then he runs off and swaps spit with Chrissy, and now here I am, crying over a dumb boy. Stupid, stupid me."

Stella put the last bit of the cigarette out and moved back to the bed, pushing Joyce's legs out of the way.

"Not stupid," she said. "Just young and in love."

Joyce sat up on her elbows, nose turned up in protest.

"Gross. I am not!"

"You are." Stella chuckled.

Joyce frowned as she slowly realized her sister was right and succumbed to her lovesick fate.

"I am, aren't I?"

"'Fraid so, my dear."

"Cripes -- this sucks!”

"Oh, don't worry." Stella smiled. "I know just the thing to fix a broken heart! Ma might not be around but we can still have fun. What’s say we stay up late, paint our nails, eat our way through an entire tub of ice cream and I can give you some pointers for when you find yourself a real man. You'll be over that silly Hopper boy in no time."

"But what if I don't want to be over him?" Joyce whined, feeling sick for even thinking it let alone admitting it out loud. He was her best friend, since before they could walk, and those feelings had remained strictly platonic but lately, she couldn't imagine being without him, let alone sharing him with anyone else. Especially bottle blonde bubble-headed bimbos.

Stella held her hand out to Joyce and helped her sit up.

"Trust me, sis. It's for the best. Boys like Jim and Lonnie will ruin you for life. You belong with someone sweet and kind, who won't rush you before you're ready…"

Joyce scoffed.

"Boys like that don't exist!"

"Sure, they do!" Stella nodded. Then she had an idea. "Say -- isn't there a Sadie Hawkins soon?"

"Yeah, the Snowball," Joyce said, cluing in, trying not to look too excited. "You think I should ask Hop?"

"No!" Stella sighed. "I'm saying you should ask a nice boy to go with you."

"A what?"

"Think of the nicest, and well... let’s say the nerdiest guy in your class, and ask him to the Snowball. Not Lonnie or Hop! No more bad boys who play ping-pong with your heart."

"No, no way!" Joyce shook her head and dove headfirst into the pillows. "I am not asking Bob the Brain!"

Stella threw her hands up in the air.

"Fine, be miserable and alone forever then. See if I care!"

"Fine!" Joyce shouted, muffled by the pillows before dissolving into a fit of giggles as her sister beat her over the head with another frilly embroidered pillow.

"I'm glad you're home," Joyce said when she caught her breath.

"Me too, sis," Stella said. "Me too."

Tony Stark x Chubby Self Conscious reader.

One Shot.

Requested.

Warnings- Slight Language, Slight NSFW so slight if you blink you'll miss it, Tony Stark might be more OC than some may like, insecurities, and light bullying.

(Also I don't own any of these pictures I just made the collages.)

Tony decided today instead of staying in the tower and relaxing, maybe having a movie marathon or something that we should go shopping to get me some more clothes since I keep telling him that I only have a few outfits to wear that are comfortable when he asks why I'm wearing the same outfits again and again.

The outfits are mostly my old sweats and sweatshirts along with a couple of baggy dress shirts and dress pants that I feel comfortable lounging around the tower or going out in, because they cover me completely and hide my plushness from the prying and judging eyes of other people.

I've been wearing the same outfits on rotation for the past month or two instead of wearing the new dresses or skirts I said I loved and fit good when he bought them for me, even when they were a bit snugger and showed more skin than I'd like them to. But at the time they seemed like a great idea to get because while they were a bit snug, they were beautiful, soft, and lovely material that highlighted my figure and bust. But lately I haven't been as confident as I was when I first got those outfits and wore them around and out and about.

But now looking at myself in these dresses, skirts, and tight shirts they just show to much of me and dont look right on my body anymore, they show too many of my rolls and plushness. "You need more than a measly few outfits to wear love and you know it. If those clothes we bought didn't fit comfortably you should have just said something and we could have gotten a different style or size for you that would have been more comfortable."

He says with a sigh not budging about going shopping and seemingly pouting that I didn't tell him about the clothes not fitting comfortably until now especially since some of the ones I'm refusing to wear are his personal favorites. "I don't think they have any bigger sizes." I muttered. "Hmm what was that?" "Nothing give me a minute to get ready and we can go." I said heading to our shared bedroom to put some light makeup on, tame my hair, and change out of my sweats.

Once I'm finished I walk out and over hear Tony talking to someone so I stay behind the corner to eavesdrop. "Yeah Y/n and I are planning on going on a quick shopping spree but I'll see if she wants to go to afterwards and meet up with everyone and maybe I can talk her into getting a new bikini while we're out to wear to the beach."

"Okay we'll see you there but don't try to trick her into wearing anything she isn't comfortable with Tony." I think that was Steve he was talking to and said "we'll" see you there so is the whole team going to be there? If it's just us that could be fun but last time the "private" beach we went to was anything but. Luckily I had my one piece on and could cover up with my towel. Tony takes any opportunity and turns it into a party. "Me!?! Trick her! Never!" He said sounding appalled making me giggle and reveal my hiding spot.

Knowing very well that he's always up to something and trying to get me to do all kinds of crazy things from experiments in the lab, to getting me drunk from the expensive alcohols that he loves but I can't really stand the taste of. Knowing I was busted I walked around the corner and kissed Tony on the cheek from behind. "Oh there you are Y/n! Are you ready to go sweetheart?" He asks smirking at me with playful look for catching my eavesdropping. "Yeah I'm ready."

(Small timeskip to the shopping center.)

"Oooh I like this one!" Tony says swinging around showing me a nearly see threw black button up shirt with a plunging neckline. "Tony that's basically see threw I can't wear that!" I said embarrassed cheeks heating up at the thought of anybody seeing me in something like that. "Yes you can, if you only wear it for me!" He says with a cheeky grin. I sigh and continue look it through the rack of clothes in front of me.

Most if not all of these clothes are way to small for me. I sigh and continue down the isle looking for cute but comfy clothes that won't hug my body. Which is proving to be more and more difficult with nothing being in my size, and with Tony only picking out provocative clothing. I'm feeling more discouraged and upset by the minute deciding to give up on finding anything today I turn to tell Tony let's just go to the bathing suit store to pick out a new bathing suit for the "not a party at the beach" he managed to convince me into going to.

Until I see Tony with an armful of clothes that upon further investigation are a bunch of outfits I wanted to get but were way to small for me to wear there must be 20 something outfits in his arms while he's talking to the sales associate. "Hi, yes I need all of these 3-4 sizes bigger." He says dumping the clothes into her arms. Looking closer it looks like he got the biggest ones of each outfit which would only need to be 2-3 sizes bigger to fit me well. "I'm sorry sir but these are as big as we carry and besides these would just be a waste on someone like her if that's who their meant for. I mean no offense but they wouldn't even fit like they were made to on someone of her size." She spat sounding irritated and disgusted not apologetic by any means.

"The way they fit, or look, are up to her to decide. Not you or anyone else and say something like that again and I'll have your job by the end of the hour. So again I would like all of these 3-4 sizes bigger so they are comfortable for my girl over there." He motions to me with his head looking as pissed off as he sounds, and the way he said 'my girl' was very possessive. My eyes widen and my face heats up from embarrassment from what she said and the confrontation in general but I'm touched and happy with how he's defending me.

"And if you don't have any bigger sizes then custom tailor it to fit. If you need her measurements I'll send them to you. Here's my card and I expect to be contacted by the end of the day with all of these resized and ready for pickup." The women looks deathly pale after taking and reading the card realising she just offended Tony Stark. Knowing that his threat to her job moments ago was in fact real and emanate if she didn't comply. Seeing her so petrified makes a part of me smug knowing next time she'll think before she speaks at least.

"Yes! Right away, I'm so sorry sir they will be ready by the end of the day! You can pay for them then. I'll be right back." She squeaks out and runs off with the clothes with her head down and tail tucked between her legs hopefully feeling as embarassed and upset as am from her comments. I wrap my arms around my self with head down now that she's gone I feel tears pricking the edges of my eyes hearing her say that just proved what I've been thinking about myself is true that I'm so big that it's repulsive to be this size, hell I can't even fit into a single thing in this entire store without it being tailored to fit, that should say something.

"Hey don't listen to her sweetheart she's just jealous I'm with you and not her. Everything she said was just a spiteful lie trying to get under your skin." He says lifting my head up and wiping under my eyes where a few silent tears slipped past without me knowing. He kisses me softly and hugs me tucking me under his chin while his hands rub up and down my back. I snuggle closer with my eyes closed holding him tight. "C'mon Y/n let's go pick out that swim suit!" He says sounding excited and let's go of me grabbing my hand and dragging me out of the store and down to the next trying to get my mind off of the rude sales associate.

(Another small time skip where we just arrived at the beach.)

"Hey you guys made it!" Steve runs up in just his swim trunks, hair wet, and sand sticking to him like someone pushed him down onto the sandy shore of the beach just moments before. "Yeah we're just gonna go set up our stuff then we'll join you guys in the water." Tony replies with his arm wrapped around me. Steve smiles and nods then runs off down the beach. I'm not sure about getting into the water looking around there's a lot of strangers here all swarming the infamous Avengers wanting to get pictures with them or of them.

The beach isn't packed but it defiantly isn't as dead as it should be if just the team was here, and I don't want a rerun of what happened earlier especially now that Tony talked me into a bikini after all. Though I picked it out and hid it from his view until I changed into it. When I put it on and it actually fit really well supporting me and being snug but not tight when I wasn't expecting it to fit at all with just how small it looked, I couldn't just put it back and pick out a different one. (It's the bikini in the pic above.)

But thinking about it now I should have picked a much less revealing bikini, but I knew Tony would appreciate the colors if you know what I mean. So I put it on in the changing room and put my clothes back on over it, only taking the price tags up to the cashier so I could pay for it and said I wouldn't let him see it until we got here because I was worried I would loose my nerve and pick out another one piece bathing suit after all. Plus I knew that if I let him see me in it that we would never make it to the beach and would more than likely be banned from the store. So he's been rushing to get here and to get me out of my dress shirt and knee high shorts since I checked out at the store. "Hurry Y/n I can't wait to get into the water!" Tony yells twenty or so feet away and winks at me suggestively, dropping our things onto the sand not bothering to actually set anything up.

"Don't lie Stark you only want to see her in her new bikini! You don't really care about getting in the water!" Natasha yells back at him from a ways down the beach playing volleyball with Wanda and few other people I don't recognize against the boys. Both of them wearing their own bikinis. 'That's probably how Steve got covered in sand.' "How did you know about that?" He yelled back pouting harder than he would willingly admit, because she's seen me in my new bikini but he hasn't been aloud to. Natasha stopped playing and said something to a couple of the people I didn't recognize that were on her team and walked up with Wanda right behind her.

"Oh don't get your panties in a twist Stark she sent me and Wanda a few photos wanting some feed back before deciding which swim suit to get." She grumped at him. "But trust me you'll like what she picked out." Wanda said with a knowing smirk. My face heats up when his gaze locks with mine. "Oh I never doubted that I wouldn't like it. Now come on let's get into the water that's the whole point of going to the beach." He said pulling on my hand. "Fine but I have to take these clothes off and I'm not comfortable just stripping on the beach and you have get changed to."

I say holding my towel close to me nervous about showing so much of myself in front of everyone, especially in front of strangers. Tony not needing me to tell him twice took off to the changing rooms with his swim trunks yelling for me join him. "No way or I won't get to swim today! I'll change and be out in a few." I say while walking towards an empty room. I strip out of my clothes and look at myself in the full length mirror they had in the changing room. Feeling insecure and like this was a very bad idea all of a sudden.

Seeing all of my rolls and stretch marks in plain sight is making me feel ugly and disgusted with my self. I'm about to say hell with it all and put my clothes back on and say I'm feeling sick and that I want to go home even though Tony will know its a lie and will be worried about me, I can't handle this, I'm not ready, this is to much. That's when Tony's voice comes through the door. "Almost done in their my beautiful girl? You aren't going to keep me waiting all day are you? I could just come in there and get you if you'd prefer?" He purrs out but sounds worried.

I hurriedly wrap my towel around myself and unlock the door but I don't make a move to come out. "I'm not sure I can do this Tony. This is a bad idea I wanna go home." I'm hugging myself again degrading and upsetting thoughts are rushing through my head making me so overwhelmed that I don't notice Tony's in the changing room with me until he wraps his arms around me from behind making me jump. "Where's all of this coming from? Is it because of what that lady said earlier because she's wrong, so so wrong baby girl your beautiful in everyway!" I cringe trying not to cry knowing what he's saying is true but I can't help but let what she said and what I've been thinking lately get to me anyways.

I whimper and turn around in his arms letting him hold me again. "I'm sorry I don't know what's going on I've been more and more insecure lately for no real reason. That's why I don't wear those clothes you bought me anymore, they fit but they show to much of everything I hate and I wanted to cover up by wearing my old baggy clothes." I pull back looking up at him. Tony's silent for a moment looking at me with a thoughtful expression. "Well we'll just have to fix that now won't we?" He smiles softly grabbing my hand and leaning towards the door.

"Tony no I really don't want to go out there not like this at least." I say pulling back and looking down. "Like what? Your all covered up by your towel. I cant even see that little swim suit you bought earlier that I've been dying to see since we left the store. I love every single part of your body but if you don't want to go out there we don't have to. We can go home or stay right here in this changing room. Hell I bet if I text Capsicle he'll bring us something eat and drink then we can stay in here all day." I giggled at that imagining a confused and flustered Steve coming to the changing room bringing food and water.

"There's my girl." Tony coo's running his hands up my sides trying to tickle me. "Hey hey, No, Tony, Dont you dare!" I squeaked out jumping back hitting the wall of the changing room realizing I'm trapped my eyes widen and I'm about to yell at him again when he launches at me tickling me and I don't feel my towel falling while trying to squirm away laughing until I feel Tony's bare hands on my hips and he stops tickling me. I look up worried about the sudden stop in his "attack" and his silence until I see the desire in his eyes.

"As much as I absolutely love this." He leans close to my ear his grip tightening on my hips. "I'd love even more to see it off and on the floor." He kissed my neck once he finished. Making me gasp as heat floods my cheeks. He mumbles into my neck. "How about I show you just how beautiful you really are." Pressing his body up against mine nipping the sweet spot on my neck.

Let's just say I never got to go swimming in my new swim suit and Steve got more than just an eyeful when he came to check on us because we forgot to lock the door.

@lilacprincessofrecovery

Hey, I saw that matchups were open? This is my first time doing this lmao Anyway, I'm about 5'3, i have brown shoulder length hair with bangs and brown eyes. Sadly, my resting face makes me look intimidating, or so I've been told. If I had to describe my personality, I'd say chaotic and unpredictable. I'm rather easy going and friendly, but I'm also quite apathetic and overly curious. I don't really have hobbies but I stay up till ungodly hours of the night sending cursed pics in the group chat

Hey! Thanks for the request, let's get right to it!

I match you with....................... Beel!

• The first you sent him a cursed image at 1am he got really confused because he didn't understand it. He stayed up all night trying to figure out what it meant. The next morning he asked you and you said its just a cursed image. He asked "Why is cursed? Did someone put a spell on it?", when you started laughing he got even more confused, "What's so funny?". Once you explained it to him he said you owed him a cuddle nap session.

• He likes to take you place you wanna go. He'll give you a tour of the Devildom and of course you guys will try the many delicacies of the Devildom along the way. He likes spend time with you thats why he takes you on so many dates. Your feet are sore from walking around the Devildom all day? Don't worry about it! He'll happily carry you around, as a matter of fact, he loves holding you!

• He's a big cuddler and gives the best cuddles. Always there to give you a hug when you need one. He'll always say how small your hands are compared to his when you two hold hands. He likes to hug you from behind and rest his chin on top of your head. He loves it you play with his hair, please do it, it makes him so happy! His favorite place to kiss you is your lips and his favorite place to be kissed by you is his forehead.

@elliechan once again thank you so much for the request and sorry for the super long wait! I hope you like it and have a wonderful rest of your day! -ooffies✨

rules: tag people you want to get to know better!!!

tagged by: @transseven (kinda im just bored and wanna do it)

your name and what you would’ve named yourself: finn...and i named myself that:))) i considered kalen and max also but finn felt right. might fuck around n change it again tbh

astrological sign (sun/moon/rising if you know them): virgo sun/libra moon/aries rising

when did you join tumblr and why: 2012 maybe?? i was a ~hipster aesthetic blog~ until i became the mess i am today

top 5 fandoms: i dont consider myself really IN any fandoms but,,,mortal kombat, overwatch, polygon, animal crossing, and unus annus are things im really into rn!!

top 5 films: i really dont watch movies much um....jawbreaker, my neighbor totoro, howl's moving castle, spirited away, clueless, pretty much anything ghibli or disgustingly 90's

go-to song when you want to feel something: i have a playlist that is all megan thee stallion for when im extra mentally ill and need to feel like a bad bitch again

what’s your religion or faith if you have one: i don't feel strongly about any really?? i used to relate to wicca when i was younger until i realized a lot of it is stolen closed practices and cultural appropriation and it just didnt feel...right i guess?? im actually a very spiritual person in private though u might not guess it from the everything about me!! im just still not sure if there is a religion i would feel totally comfortable in, although buddhism has always intrigued me!!

a song that makes you feel seen: dog teeth by nicole dollanganger ... teen idle by marina ... vienna by billy joel ...

if you could have any career: i'd love to perform, idk what but i just wanna create for people!!! even as a youtuber, a streamer, or more original performing like in a band or doing drag i just..love to be seen and make people happy:)))

do you have a type: um not really??? hot alt queers to the front of course, and i prefer someone else to be able to take the lead in most things, but that rarely factors into my attraction. if u cute u cute and i will kiss u

what does my heart/soul yearn for: to feel cared for:))) to be a first choice:))) independence:)))

if you had to describe yourself in 5 words to someone: blunt, compassionate, easygoing, impulsive, ditzy

favorite subjects in school: music, english, and forensics

where does your soul feel the most at home: anywhere there is fresh air and some peace and quiet

top 5 fictional characters: mileena, yuri, dva, kuromi, howl

top 3 moments in a show that made you ugly cry: FUCK um. many moments in the promised neverland i cant even pick one so just the show as a whole....the abortion scene in sex education......and also all of your lie in april just so much of it

earth, the sun, the moon or the stars: the stars

favorite kind of weather: that time in either fall or spring when its perfect sweater weather, the sun is shining but the breeze is cool enough that u don't sweat at all, and it stays that way until the sun goes down:') and everything smells so nice....it's different for spring and fall but they both smell lovely

top 3 kins: mileena, yuri, and kuromi

favorite medium of art: to do? graphite or digital bc im bad and must erase a lot! to enjoy? all of it literally all art makes my heart go whoosh

introvert/extrovert/ambivert: ambivert

favorite literary quote: i had to search so hard for this bc i couldnt remember it all but my fave book in my early teens was across the universe by beth revis and i always really liked this quote idk why: " I stare at the stars... And even though there are so many and they look so close together, I know they are light years apart. The glitter in the sky looks as if I could scoop it all up in my hands and let the stars swirl and touch one another, but they are so distant, so very far apart, that they cannot feel the warmth of each other, even though they are made of burning. This is the secret of the stars, I tell myself. In the end, we are alone. No matter how close you seem, no one else can touch you."

some of your favorite books: i dont read as much as i used to so most of the books i loved are young adult books but: the crank series by ellen hopkins, the painter from shanghai by jennifer cody epstein, every day by david levithan, i am the messenger by marcus zusak

if you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?: i want to travel as much as possible, but i think i'll always wanna come home to canada. maybe not where i live now, but canada just feels the most like home and id love to live somewhere beautiful here

if you could live in any time in history when would it be?: i mean i guess my gay ass is in the most ideal timeline right now, but bigotry and such out of the picture i would have fucked w the 70s so hard....big hair big shoes and just not giving a fuck??? gimme

if you could play any instrument masterfully what would it be?: guitar or piano are obvious choices but tbh id be an iconic saxophone player

if you have one, what mythological god or goddess do you have a connection to?: artemis and apollo were the first deities i was drawn to when i started my craft and figuring out religion and such, but recently i have been very drawn to persephone and dionysus??

lastly, favorite recent selfie from your camera roll: (i never take selfies this is the most up to date pic i have and its bad but oh well)

i'm not gonna tag anyone bc i dont have friends but pls do it if u wanna!! i wanna know yall better!!!

notes I took during my second viewing of tros (on my phone in the theater because I'm that asshole)

Warning: many a spoiler for the rise of skywalker ahead. if you haven't seen it this post will ruin the whole movie

kylo ren is a nasty ass emo boy with gross hair but adam driver's voice? god tier

what are they doing with Palpatine in this why wouldn't they just leave him dead

goddammit my dad figured out the big twist in the first five minutes

JJ ABRAMS IS A LIL BITCH FINNPOE WAS RIGHT THERE BUT HE GAVE POE SOME FUCKIN RANDOM ASS HETERO LOVE INTEREST OUT OF NOWHERE

cannot emphasize enough that kylo ren is gross

"I'm just... not feeling myself." -rey skywalker, 2020

okay is it nighttime or daytime make up your fucking mind

hold up the sith have their own goddamn LANGUAGE

wait who tf is rose. didn't she die last movie

my assholery is really showing as I spoil the movie for my family

leia: "never be afraid of who you are." rey: does the exact goddamn opposite

okay darth vader wannabe

the festival scene was actually really cool

rey you're too good for ben, he's a freaking douchebag. don't take his hand blergh

a thought: polyamorous rey x finn x poe

way to make an entrance lando

what is disney's thing with bloodlines?? WHO YOUR PARENTS ARE DOESN'T FREAKING MATTER 90% OF THE TIME. WHO YOU'RE RELATED TO DOESN'T MAKE UP YOUR PERSONALITY TF

they fly now? seriously?

yep. star wars would definitely kill all the important people a third of the way into the movie /s

I know they did their best because Carrie Fisher died, but all of her scenes fall flat. she barely talks and when she does it's ridiculously vague.

are the sith a nation? do they have their own planet? lore? are they ALL bad?

yes I just healed the snake thing with my magic, what about it

now we know what the baby yoda healy thing is ig

is Finn force sensitive? could he become another jedi?

just the IDEA of facing ren is giving rey a panic attack but sure reylos they're meant to be

how the fuck is kylo even ALIVE what the FUCK

they both be vibrating doe

POLYAMOROUS REY X FINN X POE THOUGH

[leaves to refill popcorn]

what is a spice runner? why is that significant?

zory's alright but I just HATE that they gave pie a hetero love interest

they gotta stop killing characters just to bring them back

jj abrams is still a lil bitch

how did they remember what 3PO said? I IMMEDIATELY forgot

ngl poe damaron is kinda hot. my inner bi is showing

oh what your girlfriend never tried to kill you before?

oh what your boyfriend never tried to control you by making him your only option?

oh what your girlfriend never stabbed you in the gut?

oh what your boyfriend never pinned you down and almost murdered you?

I miss han solo

okay tbh, Ben had potential for a redemption arc. there just wasn't enough of it there, and too much violence against his supposed love interest and everyone else.

the sith robe people don't seem real. neither does palpatine tbh. they just feel like ghosts.

why can't we explore the jedi and the sith as valid, opposite parts of the force. just like mistborn and avatar the last airbender. they're both necessary for balance.

yessss finnpoe the cogeneral boyfriends

tbh the lesbian kiss at the end pissed me off. I'm glad they know at this point that representation is important and including the gays gets them a wider audience of people who don't hate them but it pisses me off that they'll do the bare fucking minimum and praise themselves for it. a 2 second lesbian kiss, one unnamed gay man, both cut out for international audiences.

the sith audience served zero freaking purpose. they were just. there.

oh so the sith formed a choir huh. between the murdering and the evil they practice ominous harmonies

ow I ate too much popcorn

that lightning shot looks really cool

can't really see it but it's super badass

I'd be mad if they did kill someone I care about but I'm also mad they didn't. where are the stakes

They're blurry but I got a pic of the lesbians

I hate that reylo kissed but GOD the look he gave her when they pulled away.... watch me start to cry. adam driver you're incredible

I'll take this as confirmation that my rey x finn x poe ship is sailing

oh shit is it illegal to take pictures? woops

what happened to tatooine though? it's completely empty

"rey who?" *TEN HOURS LATER* "rey skywalker."

why the fuck does rey have a gold lightsaber? when did she even have time to make it?

jj abrams is still a lil bitch

You're welcome that was my commentary

Review

I liked the glimpse into Poe's past, but if I were in charge I would have made Zory an ex-boyfriend, and instead of Poe asking "can I kiss you?" it's Zory, and Poe says something angsty about being in love with Finn. I enjoyed the continuation of Finn pining after Rey, but I wish that he'd realized there was no hope and started to move on a bit. (with poe obviously.)

This is a bit of a we'll-never-be-happy-with-anything commentary, but I wish that an important character died without warning. they kept killing but bringing back characters (chewie and 3PO) and magically getting characters out of ridiculously dangerous situations (skimmer on water, climbing around the death star, about to fall off the star destroyer). I'd be mad if a character died, but I'm mad none of them did, if that makes sense.

I think that the Rey and Ben force diad thing whatever and their entire relationship had tons of potential, but they executed it terribly. They made kylo ren an unlikable character when he killed han solo for one, and the fact that they kept trying to kill each other made it impossible for me to root for them as a ship. However, I loved the ending they had, standing together against Palpatine. (side note- making Rey a Palpatine was GENIUS. big fan.) also adam driver and daisy ridley are incredible actors.

Main takeaway-- it could have been better, but I'm really happy with it. Overall I enjoyed watching it, which is the #1 priority for any movie, the twists and character arcs landed well to me, it had a satisfying ending to the trilogy. I'd watch it a third time. jj abrams is still a coward bitch but I can look past it.

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: where are you? Janis: put my coat away and everything Jimmy: weren't allowed in Jimmy: face don't fit Jimmy: 💔🎻💔 Janis: serious Janis: thought you said you could get in clubs Janis: hang on then, I'll queue up again 😑 Jimmy: it ain't my fault the door bloke's a dickhead Jimmy: fancies his chances better without me in the way Jimmy: might as well go for it now Jimmy: catch you in a bit 👍 Janis: sure, he's got it in for you, boy 😏 Janis: whatever Jimmy: he wants to put it in you Jimmy: understandable when he's going off how well you scrub up Jimmy: keep it off the snap & it is whatever, girl Janis: gross Janis: he's easily 42 Jimmy: don't knock it til you've tried it Jimmy: we ain't in the north so that ain't death's door Jimmy: & you ain't got me there to buy your drinks now, play it smart, rich girl Jimmy: that's how you stay rich, yeah Janis: well I actually got in so I can check out the talent beyond the door 👍 Janis: but tah for the tips Janis: what are you gonna do then Jimmy: big town full of Leprechauns Jimmy: maybe I'll find the pot of gold, gay clubs are the rainbow I assume Jimmy: start there Jimmy: find my own 👴💕 Janis: 🍀 Janis: funny now but when I end up dead in the river you'll be suspect no.1 Jimmy: like anyone's gonna believe I could take you out Jimmy: too 💪 you Jimmy: worry more about everyone chatting that you turned me 🌈 honestly Janis: ha Janis: like you said, keep it off the snap Janis: anyone sees you in there they'll have to out themselves first so Jimmy: 👌 Janis: laters bae Jimmy: 😘 Janis: [finds him, the kiss, walking away] Jimmy: [follows her out leaving this girl like ??!! as she also follows for the awks] Jimmy: [says 'keeping it short & sweet all across town tonight then?' because now is not the time for bants so obvs he's banting] Janis: [is just looking at the girl like bitch what are you doing and ain't gonna talk to him whilst she's there] Jimmy: [lights a 🚬 for an excuse to be still standing there when he's being blanked, sharing with the random girl just to make it worse, introduces Janis to her by one of her fake names cos actual dickhead] Janis: [completely blanks the girl like it would be obvious you were not welcome; 'how do you know no one saw you?'] Jimmy: [the girl be like UM I'm going back in, are you coming boy & he shrugs like in a bit cos still smoking obvs to prolong this & let's her go before he answers cos not trying to explain fake dating to this random] Jimmy: ['you've been in, it's well dead 'cause of being well shit'] Janis: ['so you don't then, in other words. great.'] Jimmy: ['nobody saw me. Calm down.'] Janis: ['fuck off. if you can't do this properly then why suggest it?'] Jimmy: ['I am doing it properly, I told you, it's alright'] Janis: ['for you maybe but that ain't the only part of the deal so sort it out. fucking amatuer'] Jimmy: ['piss off am I. It is sorted. She ain't from around here & nobody who matters saw us.' Janis: [shakes head 'yeah, you are. fuck sake, how old are you, 12?'] Jimmy: [is clearly fuming but trying to act not bothered. 'You'll be the one who fucks this if you don't trust what I'm telling you, girl'] Janis: ['nah, get why they didn't let you in now; what is this, under 18s night? check how old she was, did you?'] Jimmy: [just gives her a fuck you kind of look but that's a mistake cos she's really hot so has to look away] Jimmy: you got in, what did you follow me to this shithole for? Janis: [is laughing at him but it's obvs fake, then shrugs like, why not?] Jimmy: nah go on, you're such a #pro Jimmy: reasons for everything you do, all part of the plan all the time with you Jimmy: so what Janis: well no shit Janis: I didn't want to come out but it's on socials now so we need at least one decent picture together so they know it's #real Jimmy: come on then Jimmy: [poses in a really fake piss taking way] Janis: are you this shit or what Janis: I said, do it properly or I ain't bothering Jimmy: [does that sexy blowing smoke thing at her so it's basically a kiss like that gif I have of Nico doing it in MMFD & snaps a pic of it] Janis: [nods like that'll work 'cos what's she gonna say] Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: [then actually kisses her & again taking pics being all like don't say I don't do shit properly but like we both know he just wants to & its a moment] Janis: [pushes him back 'cos can't deal] Janis: that'll do Janis: keep it softcore, no one needs that much convincing Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: you're seriously going back in there Jimmy: [does the why not shrug she gave him earlier like its so obvious that you want her to tell you not to, boy please] Janis: [scoffs and shrugs back] Janis: have fun Jimmy: try not to fall or get pushed in the river, Joanne Jimmy: it'd be a crying shame that Janis: no one's pushing me away Janis: trust Jimmy: not in that outfit Jimmy: or out of it Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: you've done your snap bragging now, shut up Janis: can't make me Jimmy: 💪🏆 you Jimmy: get that too Janis: good Janis: don't get it twisted Jimmy: 👑 of the #flex Jimmy: nowt twisted here Janis: flexing makes it sound like it ain't true Jimmy: [sends her the pics so she can post them cos ultimate shade for rn that he won't] Jimmy: none of this is Jimmy: what did you say, don't get it twisted, Janet Jimmy: have fun with your #s Jimmy: [goes back inside] Janis: piss off Janis: I can get into places that ain't this dump, remember? Jimmy: you ain't let me forget Jimmy: enjoy being a hot girl then Jimmy: 👍 Janis: 🤞 you can find one yourself Jimmy: tah Janis: so welcome Jimmy: 💕 Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: lovely you Jimmy: [leaves again because it actually is shit in there & obvs not feeling it] Janis: don't take it personal Jimmy: weren't & won't Janis: how unlike you Jimmy: you reckon you know what I'm like Janis: I reckon you love thinking you're special Jimmy: if I loved that we wouldn't be doing this Jimmy: I'd just let 'em all fawn over me like its their job while I do mine Janis: better in theory and bullshit than in practice Janis: 🤷 Jimmy: say the same for this fake girlfriend bollocks Janis: 💔 for you Janis: naturally Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Jimmy: I'll live Janis: shame Jimmy: 💔 for you then Janis: yeah, should be Janis: inconsiderate Jimmy: reckon you've got that covered, my dear Jimmy: but I'll do my best Janis: excuse me? Jimmy: you heard Jimmy: & I bet you understood, smart girl Janis: are you drunk? Jimmy: you calling me a lightweight Jimmy: I weren't in there that long Janis: long enough Janis: 👍 Jimmy: for you maybe Janis: soz you didn't get stinky fingers? Janis: 🎻 Jimmy: yeah you looked proper sorry about it Janis: was I meant to be? Jimmy: don't bother saying it now then Janis: 🙄 Janis: did you a favour anyway Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: please Janis: even you could do better Janis: not doing this so you can throw all my good work away already Jimmy: than a girl who's not from around here, ain't gonna say shit & I don't need to see again Jimmy: not really Jimmy: but go on Janis: whatever, if that's your type Janis: then you may as well make your choice of the basics now and be done with it Jimmy: I don't have a type Jimmy: she did the job for tonight Jimmy: or would've until you turned up Jimmy: if you've got someone better in mind, I'm heading home, send 'em over Janis: lovely you Jimmy: I know Jimmy: tah though Janis: no, thank you for proving my point Jimmy: so welcome Janis: gone, was she Jimmy: or 💀 from the 🔪🔪🔪s you were throwing Jimmy: could've easily bled out while you were having your strop Janis: just playing the part Janis: like you were meant to Janis: or you want your fake gf to be that cool girl Janis: 🙄 figures Jimmy: I only clock in when there's actually an audience, babe Jimmy: like you're meant to Jimmy: & as I told you, there weren't Janis: sure Janis: you did a whole sweep of the club to doublecheck Janis: idiot Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: it ain't big or packed Jimmy: & anyway if you were playing a role you'd have kicked off in front of the everyone you're so sure was about Jimmy: not outside to me Janis: not my style Janis: but you did your part by following me out like a puppy so we're fine Jimmy: 'cause I ain't no amateur Jimmy: weren't gonna let you fuck it up by fucking off without a word Jimmy: thought you paddy's loved a bar fight Jimmy: actually 💔💔 Janis: and I know boys love bitch fights, don't mean you're gonna get one from me Jimmy: gutted me Jimmy: of all the fake girlfriends I could've had Jimmy: lumbered with a dud like Julie over here Janis: find another one then Janis: save me the hassle Jimmy: bit late for that Jimmy: deal's done Jimmy: posts are posted Janis: people break up Janis: ain't even that deep Jimmy: 1 day in? Jimmy: that's the rep you want Jimmy: alright then Janis: why ain't it your rep Jimmy: I'm the lad I'm always gonna come off better Jimmy: either I dumped you this fast 'cause you wouldn't fuck me or 'cause you did Jimmy: It don't matter to me Jimmy: & It don't look bad for me whichever way Janis: that's bullshit Janis: when's the soonest I can get out of this then Jimmy: yeah but it's the way it'll look Jimmy: I don't know Jimmy: not had to stage a fake break up before Janis: fuck sake Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: fuck off with that Janis: all you've done this whole time is whine you didn't get laid Janis: like I stopped you Jimmy: I ain't said shit about it even though you did stop me Jimmy: you're the one with so much chat on the subject Janis: bullshit, you're moaning on and on like I'm gonna feel sorry for you Janis: you could've gone back in, she clearly didn't care you've got a fake girlfriend Jimmy: bollocks Jimmy: & you clearly scared her off Jimmy: she didn't know about you, I don't lead with that chat up line Janis: yeah she's that fucking stupid Janis: just 'cos you're oblivious don't reckon everyone else is Jimmy: oblivious to what Jimmy: you weren't there & I didn't give her anything real Jimmy: she can't stalk my socials to check my fake relationship status without my name Janis: when I showed up Janis: to me, playing my part Janis: if you reckon she didn't clock that then you're literally braindead Jimmy: like I said, you scared her off Jimmy: & stopped me Jimmy: why am I repeating myself, are you the drunk one now Janis: bullshit Janis: don't use me as an excuse for whyever you pussied out Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: I went back in, I don't need excuses it's literally what happened Jimmy: you fucked it up for me Jimmy: I'm good but nobody's that good Janis: 👌 Janis: whatever makes you feel better about your fuck up Jimmy: whatever makes you feel better about putting on a show for nobody but me & her Janis: you wish Jimmy: if this is your coming out, sure you could track her down & crack on, you did me easy enough Janis: hilarious Janis: even if I was gay, I'd have standards Jimmy: I've got standards but I've also got a nightmare of a fake girlfriend so Jimmy: well paranoid about getting rumbled she is Janis: 1. clearly not Janis: 2. well yeah, 'cos I ain't doing this for my fucking health Janis: like you said, you're gonna fuck up my rep when you've promised the opposite Jimmy: 1. I've already told you, needs must Jimmy: 2. fuck knows why you're doing it when you're so up yourself & convinced you can get anyone else you want Jimmy: like I said & yeah, promised, a deal's a deal Jimmy: I ain't gonna do nowt of the sort Jimmy: just calm down Janis: yeah, this is 100% about getting boys to wanna ride me Janis: boys are easy, no one needs to try to impress yous Janis: and don't tell me to calm down, seriously Janis: 'less you wanna see the opposite Jimmy: I don't give a shit what it's about for you Jimmy: you agreed to do this that's all that matters to me Jimmy: but I knew that's how you 🍀 welcomed the tourists Jimmy: better late than never Janis: stop chatting like you know then, twat Jimmy: only a rule for you that? Jimmy: you've been chatting like you know me this whole night Jimmy: leave it out or show up to my door for the brawl you want & tick off another nightmare girlfriend cliche before tomorrow Janis: you reckon you can propose it and come off all mysterious Janis: nah 😂 Janis: don't worry, sure everyone else is still wondering, new boy Jimmy: 👍 Janis: we're probably good now for a few days anyway yeah Janis: so enjoy Jimmy: will do Jimmy: have a good one Jimmy: 💕 Janis: say you too but you're going home? Jimmy: like I said, I'll live Jimmy: got work tomorrow anyway Janis: best to face them not-hungover I guess Jimmy: we can say that's the reason Janis: oh my GOD Janis: give it up Jimmy: already have Jimmy: that's why I'm on my way home Janis: I mean, sadsack, I ain't apologizing Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: so much effort, you Jimmy: you too, babe Jimmy: must be #fated Janis: eurgh Janis: shut up 😂 Jimmy: alright Jimmy: night then Janis: now he listens Jimmy: not on the 🕒 girl, soz Jimmy: soon enough Janis: you hear me asking for a latte Jimmy: I mean your fake boyfriend one Jimmy: & you'd never ask for a latte, piss off Jimmy: I don't have to know you to know that Janis: MY 🕒? Janis: YOUR fake girlfriend one, own it at least Janis: alright, you can 'know' that much Janis: 'cos I'd have to throw it in your face before I drank it so Jimmy: iced it is then Jimmy: burn scars ain't the sexy sort Janis: rude but true Janis: not giving them the satisfaction of a wet t-shirt moment 🤢 Jimmy: shame Janis: like romcoms too do you Janis: seriously, give in to your pride and date fucking Janis: samantha, whatever her name is Jimmy: I watched some before I suggested this 'cause I take this shit seriously, alright, shut up Janis: 😂 Janis: that bodes well Janis: did you not make the end of any, boy Jimmy: fuck that Jimmy: I was skimming Jimmy: you ain't paying me nowt for this Janis: well I've been forced through enough to know that it never works because the people are idiots Janis: so try not to be one, eh Janis: just this once Jimmy: same to you, girl Jimmy: I get it, I'm really 💪😎 & the accent's 🔥 but don't get carried away, yeah Janis: 🙄 Janis: we're safe Janis: don't worry Jimmy: not if you keep dressing like that Jimmy: sort it out, Jasmine Jimmy: uglier the better 👌 Janis: dickhead Janis: what you want an ugly fake gf for Jimmy: be more #goals Jimmy: #Iloveheranyway Jimmy: #itaintjustskindeepladies Janis: 😒 Janis: well thanks for the insult but too bad 'cos I ain't ever Jimmy: It was literally the opposite of an insult, dickhead Jimmy: I'm saying I'm still a lad alright Jimmy: & when you look like that it's just Janis: it obviously ain't if until now you reckoned I was #ugenough to get the job done so 🖕 Janis: don't take the piss Jimmy: that ain't what I reckoned or what I said Janis: mhmm Janis: ⛏ Jimmy: you're such a knob Jimmy: what kind of fake girlfriend can't take a compliment Janis: what kind of fake boyfriend can't give one Janis: that's the real question, babe Jimmy: I literally just told you how hot you looked, babe Jimmy: try & stay with me here Janis: go on then Janis: what's the punchline Jimmy: shut up Jimmy: the joke is that I'm back home this early Jimmy: my dad's still up Jimmy: & he ain't the type to wait Janis: that's tragic Janis: poor baby Janis: could be worse, he could still be out Janis: then you'd be a real loser Jimmy: I see that & raise you he's got his girlfriend here Jimmy: might genuinely throw up in the kitchen sink Janis: oh dear Janis: least he might think you're at least drunk, sadsack Jimmy: might get drunk now to deal Jimmy: one sec Janis: honestly Janis: shoulda stayed at the nappy night Janis: weren't that bad Jimmy: if I'd known I was coming home to Michael Bublé & two sets of red wine teeth Jimmy: if you still want that fight come & 💀💀 me Janis: You'll get no mercy from me Janis: even if that's the worst thing I've ever heard Jimmy: come on Jimmy: if that's not truce worthy nowt is Jimmy: end my life & be a hot widow what could be more #goals Janis: 😂 Janis: there's no way I like you that much after a day, even faking it Janis: and no chance we've cashed in any sort of life insurance so Jimmy: actually if I 💀 myself you'll get A's in your exams Jimmy: hang on Jimmy: just leaving you a 💕 note Janis: that's definitely a myth Janis: whole school of scabs turning up at cambo like eyy someone topped themselves so now I'm a professor of theology Janis: I think not Jimmy: bit rude Jimmy: & you could've said before I blew my brains out all over my dad & the love of his week but Janis: 🤷 Janis: maybe if you hadn't left it 'til the 💕💀 note to be nice to me Jimmy: when that girl finds out she's gonna think it's because she's a shit kisser Jimmy: that's awkward Jimmy: might have to go haunt her for a bit Jimmy: make sure she knows Jimmy: play some Bublé tunes Janis: again Janis: saving it for the afterlife to be considerate Janis: dickhead Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: tell 'em none of his songs at my funeral & I won't haunt you too hard Janis: come on, sure he's murdered my way Janis: just your speed Janis: basic white boy Jimmy: It ain't my fault my parents are both too northern to branch out Janis: save it for when your Swayze'ing that bitch Janis: sure she thinks you're dead exotic Jimmy: 👍 idea Jimmy: tah babe Janis: whatever Janis: we've established you've only got 👎 ones so Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: this fake dating one is working out top Jimmy: deny it Jimmy: I saw how everyone reacted to the posts I gave you Janis: you can take a picture Jimmy: & pose for one Jimmy: this basic white boy is working for you Janis: my ancestors will be thrilled Janis: #reparationsbitch Jimmy: mine too, I bet Janis: I mean, anything beats dying down a mine, I suppose Janis: probs racists though, even if the blackface weren't intentional Jimmy: I'd take it over my present right now Jimmy: pretty sure my dad's a racist still, even if he also likes Seal Janis: lovely Janis: remind me to not come over for tea Jimmy: invite's in the post, my love Janis: 👍 Janis: give us all the chance to 'lose' it Jimmy: 'course Jimmy: but I'm giving you the chance to lose it when you come over too so Jimmy: love a fight you Jimmy: & my dad's got a very smackable face Jimmy: & personality Janis: begin to sound more and more like you've got a fetish Jimmy: shit's kicking off right now & I haven't asked you to tag team Jimmy: got me all wrong Janis: bummer Janis: he pick a minger too? Janis: should've left her at the club like you did Jimmy: he'd have to leave her in the office & that don't work for long Jimmy: perils of 😍 over the water cooler Janis: eurgh Janis: is your whole fam just one big cliche or Jimmy: piss off Janis: just saying Janis: that's two no-nos ticked off Jimmy: well don't say it Jimmy: I'm living it, that's enough Janis: alright Jimmy: alright Jimmy: don't fuck anyone I wouldn't Jimmy: saves us comparing notes Janis: the basic white girls and you are safe Janis: I'll never find out how disappointing you are 💕 Jimmy: You've misunderstood this entire thing, you're my fake girlfriend 'cause I don't wanna fuck basic white girls Jimmy: but 👌 Janis: I thought so too but you must be the confused one Janis: strobe lights were not going that hard Jimmy: she weren't top of my list Jimmy: I told you, needs must Janis: keep protesting, it's so convincing Janis: least it's just me who caught you out 😂 could've been worse Jimmy: alright shut up Jimmy: you've never had a shit night, have you Janis: obviously not Janis: have you seen me Jimmy: you ain't getting no more compliments I'm still holding onto the last one since you wouldn't take it Janis: 1. it was not a compliment Janis: 2. not like I need it Jimmy: 1. yeah it was Jimmy: 2. nah you just want it Janis: 1. no Janis: 2. and no Jimmy: Obviously you're fit that's why I asked you so leave it out Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: p sure you told me to leave it 'cos you were losing but Jimmy: need more chatting up than a real girlfriend you Janis: that's just a tragic insight into your dating history I didn't need, really Jimmy: you wish, baby Janis: ew cease and desist Janis: we definitely no'd that one Jimmy: 😂 Janis: so annoying Jimmy: I told you, #fated Janis: you call it #fated, I call it #doomed Jimmy: it's all still bollocks Jimmy: no # needed Jimmy: 💕 Janis: so poetic Jimmy: wait til you read the 💀 note Janis: I look forward to it Janis: how long 'fore I can move on with the actual hot barista though Jimmy: a day for a day Jimmy: only fair Jimmy: I get it, you couldn't score him first time round so get him with the sympathy Jimmy: well played Janis: you gave me no time Janis: not like it's my usual haunt Jimmy: it's still your home town Jimmy: get a better excuse Janis: I don't make it my business to know everyone else's Jimmy: if he's that hot no need for him to be just a rebound off my demise Jimmy: sort yourself out, girl Janis: sort yourself out for doubting his hotness Jimmy: I ain't Jimmy: I'm doubting your ability to close that deal Janis: fuck you Janis: never had an off day, remember Jimmy: only got your word for that Jimmy: & what's that worth with how much shit you chat Janis: whatever Janis: you already said you think I'm hot Janis: can't change your mind now Jimmy: you are Jimmy: don't mean that basic white lad wants you Janis: why wouldn't he Jimmy: I'll let you know when I've chatted to him on shift tomorrow Jimmy: maybe he likes his missus' more humble for a start Janis: no you won't Janis: and humble is just code for no self-esteem which you only want to cover up your own failings Jimmy: yeah I will Jimmy: & yeah maybe he's into that Jimmy: loads of lads are Janis: um he's #special and #different Janis: so don't ruin it for me with your chatter Jimmy: you're blinded by your 😍 Jimmy: & you ruined tonight for me so why shouldn't I Jimmy: makes us even Janis: no it don't Janis: she weren't no barista boy, get real Jimmy: don't matter to me Jimmy: nowt in the rules about keeping things fair Jimmy: we didn't even come up with any so Janis: even=fair so you don't get to get even by that logic, fool Janis: and pretty self-explanatory, just real relationship rules but make them fake Jimmy: even as I call it, fair as I call it Janis: fuck that Janis: you don't get to call everything Jimmy: watch me Janis: nah, you need me Janis: remember Janis: that's why it's a deal Jimmy: maybe I don't need you as much as I reckoned Jimmy: the basic white girl tonight weren't that bad Janis: like I said, call it off then Janis: in what world do I need to do what you tell me Jimmy: in the same world where you think I would do anything you tell me Jimmy: so the one we're in Janis: I ain't told you to do shit Jimmy: you are now Jimmy: call it off yourself, don't try & make me do it for you Janis: I'm saying don't act like you've got something over me Janis: at least something that I don't also have over you Janis: it ain't that deep, God Jimmy: deep enough for you to keep saying it ain't Jimmy: so convincing, babe Janis: 😑 Janis: you're the most annoying person I've had the misfortune of meeting Jimmy: nah 🥇 you Janis: well I love myself Janis: so obviously not Jimmy: let's ask about Jimmy: I reckon you'll win easy Janis: only if we were asking only the girls Janis: and you're new, you're basically anything they want you to be 'til your personality ruins it Jimmy: you're so popular with the lads, alright I heard you the first 100 times you said it Jimmy: get one of them to fake date you Janis: nah, this is the first sincere offer of fake dating I've ever Janis: so you can still feel special Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Jimmy: I can go to bed feeling like this is better than anything I could dream Jimmy: tah so much Janis: welcome Janis: do what I can Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: so far it's piss me off but let's see what tomorrow brings Janis: ain't on the ⏲ Janis: you didn't do all the convincing yourself though Jimmy: you ain't the one who needs to be convinced of owt Jimmy: thank fuck Jimmy: easy targets Janis: ain't saying I am Janis: saying give me the credit I'm owed and you'll get yours Jimmy: bollocks Janis: ? Jimmy: you were ready to slag me off earlier & loving it when you could give me credit for getting off with someone who ain't gonna ruin this Janis: it ain't the who it's the where, twat Janis: it ain't your hometown, you ain't got a clue who was or wasn't there, lbr Janis: give a fuck if you took her home but you can't be doing it in public 'til this is done Janis: simple as Jimmy: fuck's sake Jimmy: trust me Janis: why? Janis: I don't know you, you don't know me Jimmy: we're in this together or we're fucking not Jimmy: if I weren't as bothered as you I wouldn't be wasting my time Janis: fine Janis: don't be stupid about it then Jimmy: I weren't & I won't Janis: then there's no problem here Jimmy: 👍 Janis: night then Jimmy: 💕 Janis: remember to ❤ the pics Jimmy: already did Jimmy: try & keep up with me, girl Janis: 👌 Janis: keen as always, boy Jimmy: serious Jimmy: remember that next time Janis: yeah, I was the one taking it not serious Janis: 👍 Jimmy: just do better tomorrow Janis: are you actually taking the piss Jimmy: maybe Jimmy: one for the road, like Janis: mm Janis: as I said Janis: most annoying Jimmy: as I said, SUCH a good match Janis: just convince them and we're both free Jimmy: already did that too Jimmy: so say the word Jimmy: any time or place Janis: and you already said if we leave it at a fuck, I look bad so Janis: sorry, not yet Jimmy: I'm just saying Jimmy: whenever Janis: alright, I know Janis: not like it's a legally binding contract Jimmy: so I shouldn't have opened a vein to sign something in my blood Jimmy: now she tells me Jimmy: always too late you Janis: 😏 Janis: earlier it was brains, now it's veins Janis: should I call the samaritans Janis: starting to sound like a cry for help, idk 🤔 Jimmy: you heard me say what's happening in my house tonight Jimmy: it is & you should Janis: 😂 Jimmy: glad you find MB on a loop such a laugh Janis: as long as it's drowning out worse Janis: be thankful Jimmy: do you actually want me to 💀💀💀 Janis: awh babe, no Janis: I don't care whether you live or die either way Jimmy: 💕 Janis: that's the type of service you get for free, kid Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [ze next morning] Janis: I've got to come in later Jimmy: really need to throw that latte on me? Janis: ha, obviously Janis: tell me when my sister and that get there, yeah Janis: remember what they look like Jimmy: it was only a handful of kisses, you gotta get over your jealousy about last night, Jill Jimmy: & yeah Jimmy: my best customers that's the type of service you get here at the CG Janis: strangely enough, not about you or my fake jealousy Janis: just lay off the charm offensive for five when I get there, that's all I need you to do Jimmy: alright Janis: 👍 Janis: see you then Jimmy: in a bit Janis: it'll be easy, no drama Jimmy: no fake break up then Jimmy: 👌 Janis: sorry to disappoint Jimmy: yeah I'm well 💔💔💔 Janis: make it up to you Janis: you'll get tons more #lad points Jimmy: clearly my top priority tah Jimmy: what's going on? Janis: I know you're just as 😍 for him Janis: nah, nothing, my sister's just being more of a bitch than usual Jimmy: you can't know I've been so careful with my 💘 & 😍 around him so there Jimmy: & what you wanna shut her up Janis: oh babes 🙊 Janis: yep Janis: need to, actually, but that's the gist Jimmy: don't she believe we're madly in love? Jimmy: bit rude Janis: appaz, you have no control over your 😍 at all 'cos she #knows you're into her so Janis: 👌 tah Jimmy: 1. she can piss off 'cause I've never Jimmy: 2. I know exactly what to do Janis: yeah, she's full of shit Janis: well so do I but open to ideas Jimmy: you get to do what you want, she's your sister & they weren't my 😍 Janis: 👍 stick to the plan then Janis: she's an idiot, you have to be blatant or she won't get it Jimmy: you gonna tell me the plan or nah Jimmy: & I get paid not to be blatant, gutted as I am about it Janis: you won't get in trouble Janis: not gonna go that hard Jimmy: not what I asked Janis: like you're as dumb as her? Janis: just gotta come be really #goals in their faces Janis: 5 minutes, tops Janis: easy Jimmy: double it if you wanna be #convincing Jimmy: never given a girl so little time in my life Janis: #swoon 😏 Janis: like I said, not gonna go that hard 'cos it has to be in front of them Janis: that's the whole point Janis: just look like you're having fun, yeah? Jimmy: you have to go hard in front of them, that's the whole point Jimmy: not as dumb as her tah Janis: 10 minutes is a bit much for making out Janis: could get it done in that time Jimmy: who have you been making out with? Jimmy: actually gutted for you Jimmy: can't even add the piss taking emojis right now Janis: shut up Janis: I'm not gonna suck face with you for 10 minutes Jimmy: if you can't hack it, call it off now Janis: 😑 Janis: just tell me when they're there Jimmy: said I would Janis: saving the enthusiasm, I get it Jimmy: that & drying my eyes over your real dating history Janis: what are you chatting now Jimmy: nowt Jimmy: just making ☕ Jimmy: you're the one giving away your shit kissing secrets Janis: piss off Janis: there's nothing wrong with my kissing Janis: it's just the boring bit, everyone knows that Janis: may as well skip it Jimmy: if you're doing it wrong, yeah Janis: you aren't an expert Janis: people like different shit, alright Jimmy: calm down Jimmy: you ain't meant to be coming in swinging Janis: stop being a dick then Janis: it's off-putting Jimmy: if you're that easy to put off this fake relationship is properly doomed Janis: I told you Jimmy: get it together or don't come Janis: I'm fine Janis: you're the one chatting shit Janis: you've got one job Jimmy: two Jimmy: get it right, rich girl Janis: yeah, so drop the relationship therapist bit Janis: no one's buying Jimmy: I get it, you're rich 'cause you're tight with every penny Janis: You're just full of shit, and I get that for free Janis: 🍀 me Jimmy: you wish I were Jimmy: but we ain't making 'em come true until the girls get here so Janis: why would I want that Jimmy: my therapist bit's been dropped Jimmy: at your request Janis: we'll talk about this comedian bit later Janis: I've got things to do Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: me too Janis: things that require more than one braincell but Janis: happy for you Jimmy: soz I'm not performing brain surgery right now Jimmy: well patronizing you Janis: whatever Janis: unlikely to catch my sister or obs so suits my purpose Janis: on* Jimmy: happy for you Janis: suits yours too Janis: or were you looking for someone to be really into you slobbering all over them Janis: shoulda been clearer Jimmy: there's nowt about kissing you for exactly 5 minutes mid shift at my job which suits me Jimmy: but go on Janis: I said 5, tops Janis: get it done in less if you're gonna be so moody Janis: yes or no, can I come in or what Jimmy: do what you want it's your masterplan Janis: well not if you're actually gonna get in trouble Jimmy: like you give a shit about my job security Jimmy: plenty of places to make a latte in this town Janis: I ain't that much of a bitch Jimmy: who knows maybe you'll do me a favor & force me into a job that requires two braincells next Janis: shut up Janis: it was a joke Janis: and you started it Jimmy: really funny you Janis: backatcha Jimmy: 💕 Janis: forget about it Jimmy: alright Janis: nothing lost, yeah Jimmy: nowt gained either but Jimmy: whatever Janis: well despite what you reckon, my secondary goal wasn't to get you sacked so Janis: sorta outweighs the need to get back at them Jimmy: you couldn't get me sacked if you tried Jimmy: you've got one foot out the door before you're even in Janis: you want me hanging about all day Jimmy: not what I said or meant Jimmy: I've had more of a connection with a customer whose order got fucked up than what you're planning to give me Jimmy: who the fuck is that meant to convince Jimmy: but I'm the one not doing this properly Janis: maybe we should fake hang out some more after this Janis: alright Janis: but all you've gotta convince 'em rn is that you wanna fuck me Janis: that's all they care about Jimmy: then I'll let you know when they show up Jimmy: like I said Janis: yeah? Janis: alright Janis: thanks Jimmy: nowt to thank me for Jimmy: blue balls is easy to fake when my dad's getting fucked more often than me Janis: 🎻 then Jimmy: 💔 but I got all those MB jams from last night in my head to mend it Janis: come through for you after-all Jimmy: he'll come to me forever now with those words of wisdom Jimmy: I'll never be free Jimmy: mind numbing job combined with mind numbing family life Jimmy: so few braincells Janis: what was it you said at the start of this convo Janis: need to let it go Jimmy: I can say what I like Jimmy: who are you Jimmy: let go of your fake being bothered Janis: fine Janis: have fun chatting shit to your customers then Jimmy: I survive on tips so I very much will Janis: don't know if sob story is the way you wanna go but Janis: you do you Jimmy: if you're sobbing, you do you Jimmy: probably get out of the mansion a bit more though Jimmy: it's fairly common out here Janis: boohoo? Janis: lemme dry my tears on a 50 Janis: what do you expect me to say Jimmy: don't say nowt Jimmy: shut up Janis: erm, say what I like Janis: who are you Jimmy: the one you're chatting shit to Jimmy: fuck knows why Janis: fucking hell Janis: what is wrong with you this morning Jimmy: the same thing that's wrong with me every morning Jimmy: but since you don't know me Jimmy: 1. it's news to you and 2. we don't need to go into it Janis: 👍 Janis: later Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: [skip to lunch time when they'd show up & so would loads of other people lol] Jimmy: head's up, Juliet, your time to shine Janis: right Janis: okay, be there in 10 Jimmy: take as long as you need Jimmy: they ain't even ordered yet Jimmy: it'll look weird if you come through the door too soon after them Jimmy: like we planned it Janis: ha Janis: true enough Janis: they can kill a fair while, I imagine Janis: clean up properly then Jimmy: they can when they're too busy talking about us to pick up a menu Janis: ugh Janis: fun Jimmy: I'd forgotten Mia was still capable of speech Jimmy: I thought all the throwing up had destroyed her throat entirely Jimmy: she usually just communicates via 💀 stares Jimmy: I see why you two get on so well Janis: if you keep making me tell you I'm special and universally loved, you can't get mad at me for it, like Janis: and it's you that she's made the impression on Janis: that's Janis: nice Jimmy: getting mad at you for not taking a real compliment from your fake boyfriend ain't the same as not patting you on the back for being a dickhead Jimmy: yeah obviously hurry up or I'll run away with her Jimmy: won't be able to help myself & you've been warned Janis: highly doubt she can run Janis: bit cold to give her heart failure but I'm not crying here so Jimmy: I'll carry her then, more #goals anyway Janis: how Janis: she weighs sod all Jimmy: still get the rom com visual Jimmy: all that matters Janis: nah Janis: try and shift the big one Janis: that'd be something Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: easy 💪🏆 Janis: can't just promise her free pastries Janis: that's cheating Jimmy: you can't just start imposing rules now Jimmy: too little too late Jimmy: & shamelessly cheating Janis: 🙄 she'd go with anyone for a cream cake Janis: even the least hot one Jimmy: like I said, easy Janis: ugh okay Janis: guess it counts as a win Janis: not happy about it though Jimmy: I'm not happy about doing my back in for her but Janis: needs must? Jimmy: you know Jimmy: how cute that we're finishing each other's sentences though 😍😍 Janis: 😂 Janis: if you could find a subtle way to let 'em know how goals we're being Jimmy: I've been 😍 at my phone since they came in, don't worry Jimmy: not an amateur Janis: good thing I stopped chatting or it'd be more like 😒 Janis: kinda cute but not really painting me in the best light Jimmy: like you said, only got one job Jimmy: I'll paint you in the best light you've ever Janis: 👍 Janis: you want me to leave it in the tip jar or bit too obvious Jimmy: where'd your sense of humor spring from? Jimmy: MIA a bit ago Janis: that was you Janis: cheek! Jimmy: can't be a comedian which you called me & a moody cunt which you may as well have Jimmy: make your mind up, Jenna Janis: if you can't do what I want and don't do what I don't, without any helpful direction, what kind of boyfriend are you Janis: tbh Jimmy: the fake kind Jimmy: & I'll fake owt you need me to Jimmy: starting as soon as Janis: 😍 Janis: you know the drill, yeah? Janis: swear I'll piss off long before they've even asked for extra sprinkles, probably Jimmy: not my first girlfriend or barista job Jimmy: but that is an offer I can't refuse Janis: spare us both the debrief then 👌 Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: actually do hurry up though they're doing my head in Janis: you know they ain't gonna leave with me, yeah Janis: stunned into silence is a big ask, can try but Jimmy: I don't have to try Jimmy: it'll happen Jimmy: & I'll take it Janis: let the 💋 do the talking Jimmy: it will do Jimmy: louder than the bollocks they're chatting Jimmy: I told you, I know what I'm doing Janis: they do that, a lot Janis: should know better than me now Janis: I can try and avoid them out of school Jimmy: best customers remember, I do know Jimmy: & we're doing this 'cause I can't avoid them here Janis: exactly Janis: not forgot Janis: nor am I as dumb as them, tah Jimmy: skip the 'on the previous episode of the CG' bit then Jimmy: nowt you can tell me about any of 'em Jimmy: & even less I'd wanna know Janis: I ain't telling you anything Janis: it's all bullshit anyway Janis: whatever they're saying, that's a guarantee Jimmy: way ahead of you on that, sweetheart Janis: hope that's not the patronizing tone you settled on for your punters Janis: 😬 Jimmy: so you are worried about my job security Jimmy: well romantic 💕 Janis: I told you I weren't that bitch Janis: am leaving though Janis: be there in a few Jimmy: good Janis: what happened to take the time you need, boy Janis: only took a shower Janis: be grateful Jimmy: I said they're doing my head in Jimmy: & you already called me moody so Jimmy: tah for the romantic gesture of showering though Jimmy: 😍😍 Janis: so you gotta take every opportunity to be as sulky as? Janis: come on, I'll call you lots of better things if that's how it works Jimmy: do you want me to react to you kissing me like 😒 Jimmy: if the answer is yeah, take your time Janis: I thought you had this Janis: was your last gf a glutton for punishment or something 'cos no Jimmy: she weren't fake Jimmy: didn't have to pretend to be into it Jimmy: puts you at 👎 before you've kicked things off Janis: you said it weren't hard Janis: so which is it Jimmy: when did I ever say kissing you wasn't the bane of my life Jimmy: must've been drunk Jimmy: if I did Janis: grow up Janis: kiss's a kiss Janis: unless there's some unsexy scalding issue or similar Jimmy: not part of the deal, baby Jimmy: & no it ain't Jimmy: there's a whole scale of good & shit if you want me to rate you in a bit Janis: oh yeah! Janis: what girl doesn't want that Jimmy: if a kiss is a kiss what do you care Jimmy: don't matter, does it Janis: we don't trust each other, remember Janis: you'll just say I'm shit to be that dickhead Janis: and I know I ain't so who needs to hear more of your nonsense Jimmy: you don't trust me, I never said nowt about you Jimmy: I ain't that dickhead & I don't lie Jimmy: you're just shitting yourself about what the truth is Jimmy: that ain't my fault or problem Janis: sure Janis: your opinion ain't fact Jimmy: never said it were Jimmy: or that I give a fuck if you want it or don't Jimmy: I'm not 💔 that you don't like me Janis: you just called it the truth Janis: and you 100% said you don't trust me last night too so shut up, casual gaslighting here Janis: I wouldn't be Janis: don't like anyone, nothing to get upset about, ain't that deep, ain't that personal Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: how many times are you gonna try & tell me it ain't that deep like you don't have shit to lose if this fucks up Jimmy: you shut up, girl Jimmy: focus Janis: oh no, they'll bitch about me in cafes harder Janis: whatever will I do Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: end it then Jimmy: stop wasting my time Janis: as far as foreplay goes Janis: this is topnotch Janis: truly Jimmy: if I cared about you being turned on, we'd have bigger problems Jimmy: be in or get out Janis: don't worry, makes you the same as the rest of the lads Janis: I'm literally walking Jimmy: that ain't what I mean Jimmy: don't be a dickhead Jimmy: it matters to you or it don't so which is it Janis: come on Janis: ain't doing this for my health Janis: or a laugh, thankfully Jimmy: stop taking the piss then Jimmy: save your 🙄 for them on your way in & out Janis: alright, whatever Janis: I ain't asked you why you're really that arsed so you don't need to ask me Janis: it don't matter Jimmy: I ain't asking Jimmy: I'm telling you I ain't gonna keep threatening to pull the plug every time you have a strop Jimmy: & I'm the one who's acting 12, yeah alright Jimmy: sort your shit or leave me & it out Janis: oh my God Janis: who's told you to Janis: if emojis count as strops then you're fucked Jimmy: piss off Janis: literally just got here Jimmy: you're so fucking Janis: save it Janis: [comes in] Jimmy: [intense eye contact cos we know] Janis: [we know what happens not giving much chance for chat here] Jimmy: [just like we know he shamelessly ain't that good at faking anything] Janis: [when you have to bounce 'cos what was that] Jimmy: [the levels of hot it would be, I literally can't. It's a miracle they ever speak again]

Playboy Pt. 1

The pics are of what Yuridia's suit looks like of course along with one of the inspirations for her looks alongside Sasha Montenegro & Rossy Mendoza, Turkan Soray.

As ever, forever editing...

Might alter or change the title...

Please be kind...

Let me know what you think!

Enjoy!

...

Late 1972

London, England

...

"Hold still!" The Bunny Mother instructed as she did her best to help her new charge into a black suit. The suit was new in a sense, and similarly, so was the bunny. 18 and a new recruit. She had just come from Los Angeles with a rather unusual name. Yuridia. Yuridia Garcia. Her full name was impossibly long as she herself had admitted. Hearing it once made Joan's head spin & her jaw drop in shock. It was like one of those names straight out of a Spanish drama or swashbuckler. Thankfully Yuridia wasn't offended. She just laughed it off.

She had been sent over for a short while to pad out the holiday shift & to allow Yuridia a chance to show her full potential as opposed to having her options limited in terms of hours & places in the club she was allowed to work as she would otherwise have faced at home due to her young age.

At first Joan didn't understand why they didn't just tell the shy, soft-spoken child with the admittedly terribly sweet, soft accent to come back in three years when they could use her to her best advantage in the LA club...

Save her the trip...

Pick someone else...

And then she met her...

And dressed her...

"Won't need these..." Joan teased as she removed the stuffing & padding from the cups of the suit. A lot of bunnies secretly padded. It was no big deal. A big secret kept from the public...

But no big deal...

The bunny bodice held and hid a multitude of sins...

Not that Miss Garcia had much to atone for at the ripe old age of barely 18...

Still...

You'd be surprised what a suit like the bunny suit could do for a girl's figure...

Across all sorts of body types...

Like it was made out of magic & fairy dust instead of just satin & stays...

Joan had seen it herself firsthand...

And right now even without the padding - admittedly unnecessary on Yuridia - the suit was still working it's insane, inconceivable magic...

Emphasizing every last one of her curves & her mile long legs to full effect!

It was doing her all kinds of favors whether she needed it or not!

Every. Last. Favor. On. Earth!

As Joan fastened the suit around her newest charge, who would be known as "Bunny Yuri" to the patrons of the London club, Yuridia herself fixed her cuffs. She made sure that the Playboy Bunny logos on the cufflinks faced each other when she put her wrists together as was the rule. Made sure the bunnies kissed" as was the rule. "Kissing Bunny cufflinks" was just one of many little details that had to be filled out just so. And she knew failure to do so would result in warnings, admonishments & demerits. Another such detail was daintily perched ears which seemed to "quirk" just so. This was the next thing Yuridia handled as Joan handled yet another detail. Fluffing her bunny tail. Yuridia cast a shy smile in the mirror at Joan, nodding a polite. "Thanks..."

"Any time, luv. It's my job..." Came the reply based in soft laughter.

This shy little thing. What kind of a bunny would she make out there?

Yuridia then gazed in the mirror to inspect her reflection as suddenly another bunny burst through the room.

"Yuri! You're working the VIP room with me and Diana right?" It was Bunny Kitty, panting in breathless excitement for God knows what reason.

"Yes, of course. Although I have a short shift tonight. I worked a split today. Why? Is anything the matter? Any problems? Anything wrong, Kitty? Any changes?" Yuridia gazed at her breathless friend curiously.

"No... Nothing's the matter... Nothing's wrong... No changes..." Kitty sighed after a drink of water, finally calming down. "It's just that we got some very, VERY important people that are being put into your section right now. VVIP... VVVIP!..."

"Oh? Anyone I oughta know, luv?" Joan asked as she made the last few adjustments to "Yuri's" suit.

"Or me? Even though I'm new here and not from around. Or are they more locally known & famous?" Yuridia asked.

"Oh no! No! No! No, they're definitely well known... Internationally known... Internationally famous... Or infamous..." Kitty giggled. "And you DEFINITELY should have heard of them by now!..." I'm not sure if I oughta tell you or just let you go out & find out yourself..."

"Not sure if I should even ask... I'm a little scared now with how you've talked of them..." Yuridia laughed before asking. "Can I at least ask this? How many are there?"

"Four..." Kitty replied in an awed hush, fighting back a squeal as she clenched her fists.

"Well by that reaction, Kit, I have to ask... Is it the Beatles? Have they decided to reform?" She teased.

"Noooo... But you're on the right track... Not the worst guess you could have made.

"Oh wow... That big?... That famous?... That popular?..."

"Just about..." Kitty smiled.

"Mmmm... I see..." Yuridia hesitated, nerves starting to get the better of her momentarily, prompting her to come up with a proposition. "Are you gonna shadow me then? Make sure I don't mess up? Or do you just want to take my table? I take yours? Who knows? They might like you better..." She teased hoping that she could play her nerves off well enough.

"I'd love to! But I can't... The floor manager would have my neck!" She laughed, rubbing the back of her neck for emphasis.

"Did you greet them for me? Tell them I'll be right with them? After I finish getting dressed I mean..." Yuridia laughed nervously.

Kitty nodded. "I did. Though I didn't exactly go into specifics of course." She grinned, motioning to Yuridia in her suit. "Not that I think that they'd have minded of course! But of course that would be against policy so... Your secret is safe with me." She laughed.

"Ohhh... Kitty..." Yuridia gave Kitty a playful shove as she began to blush slightly.

Kitty laughed again. "Why on earth are you so shy? How on earth were you hired if you blush at the drop of a hat?"

Joan swatted at Kitty playfully. "Don't scold her! She can't help it! Besides... You know the boys out there might actually like that... They might get a kick out of it!..."

Yuridia turned to glance at Joan as best as she could without disrupting her work adjusting her suit again. "I assume you have experience... With them?"

Kitty leant in to whisper something to Joan, making her gasp. Yuridia swore she heard a "it's..." or "they're...". Spilling the beans on the mystery patrons' identity apparently as Joan & Kitty both nodded in reply.

"You bet, honey. And they have plenty experience with us. And others!" Kitty grinned.

"Well then, you two!" Joan cut in after giving Yuridia's suit one last tug upwards & her tail one last fluff. "Why don't you be off then! So Kitty you can SHOW our little miss "Bunny Yuri" her patrons for the evening! Now be off you two! Shoo, shoo, shoo!" She laughed.

The laughter was echoed by Kitty who took Yuridia by hand as she thanked Joan one last time & lead her out of the dressing room & through the long corridor to the main floor.

"Kitty..." Yuridia hushed.

"Mmmm?" Came the response.

"Can't I get one last clue? Please? Just one little one?" Yuridia pleaded.

"Can't wait till we get out on the floor & to our section?" Kitty asked with a playful smile.

"Mmm-mm..." Yuridia shook her head.

Kitty just laughed. "Alright then... Here... Shine your light on these..." She paused just a few steps from the entrance to the main hall & presented her cuffed wrists, "kissing bunny cufflinks" and all. But the kissing bunnies weren't meant to be the focal point...

Nor were they...

For as Yuridia shone her little mini flashlight down on Kitty's cuffs she noticed something for the first time...

Kitty's cuffs were no longer pure white...

They were marred...

Marked...

Scribbled on...

Written on...

Yuridia was just barely able to make out four distinct signatures...

But she didn't trust what she saw...

Or what she thought she saw...

"Kitty..." She hushed.

"Uh-huh..." Came the slyly smiling reply.

"Kitty...

Kitty...

Kitty, these are...

These are...

These are...

Am...

Am...

Am...

Am I reading this right?...

Like am I seeing things correctly?..."

"What do you see, "Yuri"?" Kitty teased.

"I dunno...

I almost don't trust myself to read this right..."

Kitty just laughed & pointed across the room to their section. There... Tucked away in a booth... Signing the cuffs for a gaggle of other giddy bunnies were four men... Not just any men... This Yuridia knew as her eyes fell on each member & the accompanying matching scrawled signature flashed in her head in time...

For there...

Tucked away in the comfy dark confines of a booth...

In her section were...

John Paul Jones...

John Bonham...

Robert Plant...

Jimmy Page...

All four internationally popular, famous - and yes Kitty was right, INFAMOUS - members of one of one of the biggest groups on the scene at the time...

LED ZEPPELIN!!!!!

"Oh my God..."

It's just... Casual Sex

Paring: Loki x Reader

Genre: songfic!

Words: 3,565

Summary: Songfic based off the song by My Darkest Days---As the title states, you (who works as a lab tech along side the science bros) and Loki have been busy and have kept it quiet, but one morning after a exhausting night you fail to notice the thing your spy friend doesn't. This leads to the spilling of the beans so to say as she uses her skills to figure out who out of the two she suspects is the one you crawl into bed with.

The rich smell of the coffee filled the air as you pour yourself a cup of the dark liquid. With a raisin toast in hand you made your way to the closest bar stool and firmly planted yourself there, waiting for the caffeine to bring you to life. After the first few sips you closed your eyes and rubbed your temples, thank gosh you managed to make it in here before the rest of the team filled it with loud chatter and talk.

Typically no others were really around at this hour, if it was their off day then most would sleep in or even be out training already. Regret danced around your head as you finished your meal, you knew staying up and partaking in the activities that all but claimed your hours intended for sleeping would have you utterly drained today. Could you really hate yourself too much though, anyone in your situation would have done the exact same.

You'll never meet my mom,

Strings will never be attached,

We'll always get along,

'Cause it doesn't have to last,

Not sure if you drifted off or she's just that good at sneaking in on half dead to the world people, you were startled to open your eyes to a smirking Black Widow who was pouring herself a cup of coffee. “Morning Nat, sneaking about already this morning?” you question before sipping more life support. “Ha, not hardly... more like someone's been having too much fun. So tell me y/n what kept you up late this time? Project? Party a little too hard with some IT friends? Or is it maybe a guy?” her eye brows wiggled a little with the last question. You couldn't help but choke as you nervously tried to play off how her questions caught you off guard.

“Funny Nat.... it was just a work thing, you know how Tony and Bruce are with their projects... work work work.” She leaned against counter in front of you, eyeing you and sipping her drink. “Really.. so then tell me was it Tony or Bruce who left the rather large hickey on the right side of your neck?” You lost your coffee completely this time, just shy of it coming out of your nose with how hard you were coughing. “What hickey?” She quickly snapped a pic of it with her phone and showed you. Sure as the sky is blue there was a very obvious love bite on your neck right where your neck met your shoulder. “Well... Fuck... looks like ill be wearing a lab coat and t shirts for a while..” your voice was muffled by the counter you had placed your blush covered face on.

And anytime I call you, you don't have to call me back,

I'm never gonna fall, but I'm never hard to catch.

“So are you gonna tell me who this man of yours is? Or will I have to use my spy skills?” She asked in a rather eager tone. Your response was an aggravated huff. “Boyfriend? Friend with benefits? Married man? C'mon give me something. I honestly didn't know you had someone, other then your work that is. We all only ever see you busy in the labs.” You had always been so careful not to show any marks or let on about anything to anyone, and now your zombie self not only dint notice the mark as big as a truck but the best person on the team at uncovering secrets saw it.

The truth would be coming out no matter if you told her or not. Going with maybe she will keep it quiet you decided to give her enough to have her put it together. Sitting up and facing her, you took a breath, “Your not walking out of here with nothing are you?” Shaking her head she joined you at the bar, patiently waiting for you to start. “Okay.. so no I don't have a boyfriend and no I'm not with a married man....i uh.. it's not exactly friends with benefits, I mean yeah we know each other but I don't know if I'd call us friends..” your words trailed off a little as you tried to find the exact words to label what you have.

She said she's cool with it, She's down with it,

There's nothing wrong with it 'cause its easier this way,

She's so cool with it, She's down with it,

There's nothing wrong with it, Don't want it any other way.

“Oh so it's just casual sex?” she replied without missing a beat. You looked at her confused for a minute as if it was the easiest thing you could have said to explain everything. “Yeah..yeah that sounds like a good enough way to describe it.” You answer before sipping the last of your coffee before checking the time on your phone. “Basically you two hook up when ever but neither of you are together or in a relationship, and there isn't any rules or jealousy of what the other does.” She continues. “Then yeah that's exactly what it is, so no need to concern yourself, but I really should go change and get to the lab and start while I have the energy.” you say getting up to refill your cup.

Her arm on you stopped you, of course it wouldn't be so easy. “not so fast, there is more then just it being a hook up as to why you've been so careful about keeping this quiet. Clearly he's something to have caught your eye and pull you from your lab, so spill it.” slumping back into your chair you closed your eyes and watched as last nights moments played through your mind.

It's just your typical hardcore, casual sex,

We're single, but we're lovers, crazy for each other,

Just your typical hardcore, casual sex,

We're wild under the covers crazy for each other.

His lips started at yours with desire growing with each one he placed as he moved his mouth down your neck to your collar bone, going lower as he made his way to between your breasts. Suddenly his lips found your right ear and you had to hold back a moan when his silky voice whispered to you. “My dear you will not be finding any sleep here tonight..” you felt him place a couple wet kisses on your shoulder followed by more whispering. “I plan to make you beg me to take you, give you the pleasure you so desperately crave and make sure the only thing you able to say by morning is my name.” The shivers that shot down your spine with his last words make you throw out all cares on how tired you'd be for work, the only thing you wanted was to be entangled with the man currently assaulting you with his delicious lips and screaming his name as you came around him in pure bliss.

Natasha clearing her throat made you remember you were currently being interrogated by her on who the hickey leaving hook up you bang is. “Sorry.. just trying to see how to put this, and remember it if it uh decenigrats after today.” you say in a nervous tone. She didn't even try to hide the twinkle in her eye when you said that. “Ooh this got good, so it's clearly a co worker, but it is a fellow lab guy? Or is it..” her smile when the look on your face gave it away that it was definitely not lab personnel made you wish you had a poker face.

“That's why you've kept this quiet, it's one of the guys isn't it?” you wanted to face palm yourself into a coma at this point. “Yes.... I was afraid if it got out I'd get reassigned it would also affect him to because he prefers to keep others out of his personal business.” You explain. “I can understand that, but narrowing it down and knowing the guys like I do, Clint's married so not him, Sam is too much of a bragger to keep his mouth shut, Scott is too much of a sweetie to not be more public about it, Vision is with Wanda, Tony has Pepper, Thor is with Jane, Steve's got this weird thing with Sharron....All that being said that leaves two guys.. both are equally private..so go on keep talking.

We don't have to go on dates,

You don't have to like my friends,

I won't get in your face when you're making other plans,

Shit she's good, this was getting uncovered faster then you liked and the rest of the team would be showing up for breakfast soon and this is not the conversation you wanted to be having when they do. “Ever been told you're too good at this Nat” she simply smiles and waits for you to keep going.

“Well since the two I think you are referring to are Bucky and Loki, then yes, you are right there. They are both more along the quiet side and prefer to keep personal matters to themselves and not announce all to the whole team.” She Nods in agreement. “so which on is it y/n?” Shaking your head you smirk “aww c'mon Nat, don't wanna use those skills of yours...I'll help you out since your gonna make it your mission till you know anyways.” You roll your eyes and go to explain, but she cuts you off before the words leave your mouth.

“Now wait just a minute, I'll figure this out myself off of what you've given me, I was just seeing if you'd offer it up easily first.” standing she walks over to the sink then returns to her seat and looks you up and down. Your hair was in a messy bun, sweat pants clung to your hips, a light tank top and a silky long sleeved robe hung around your shoulders.

“So he likes to leave loves bites, you two definitely didn't stop at once, considering the state of your hair and lack of energy this morning, which would mean he has quite the stamina...And I can almost bet there is or has been some light bruising around your wrists..along with a few other well placed hickeys.” She watches as you pull the sleeves on your robe down and blush a little. “Mmm hmm.. so he like to be in charge and likes to mark you, but at the same time doesn't want to be singularly a couple. Either of those two fit this so far...” you can almost see her brain picking apart each clue. “Tell me y/n how did this all start exactly?”

If you're tired of the taste,

We can try another blend,

My heart will never break I'm just here to break a sweat.

Good lord he was walking temptation, all broody and dark, making it seem like he was so tough but no matter how much he pretended he wanted nothing to do with anyone, something about that made you want to prove him wrong. Working late was nothing unusual for you, happened more then you getting laid, as sad as that was. Buried deep behind your projects and formulas or one of the weapons you hardly left your space. Feeling frustrated with how your intended mixture wasn't combining like it should you opted for a break. Heading to the kitchen you found the place deserted, the quiet was nice but you'd kill to get rid of the frustrating feeling still lingering. Still processing the formula in your mind you collide with a very hard object, thinking it was the wall you were shocked to see instead you had smacked right into to the very temptation that had passed by the lab earlier and clouded your mind with not so helpful thoughts.

“Sorry!” you squeaked and moved out of his way. “Maybe you should pay more attention to where your walking.” He snapped. “Excuse me, it was an accident, sorry if I'm a little tired from working on stuff that could possibly save you on a mission.. geez no need to get a attitude with me..” You retort while grabbing a mug and pouring more coffee to fuel your night work.

Suddenly you felt the hard wall against your as he grabbed you and pushed you to it causing you to look up at him. “You have some mouth on you, coming in here and telling me not to speak to you like that when your the one who walked into me!” his nostrils flared with his words and your could see his pupils were blown as he stared at you. “So what if I do, what are you gonna do about it?” you challenged him. He stayed still contemplating his next move, before you found his lips crashing to yours with a rough kiss. You kissed him back with equal power, both of your arms roaming over each other as you continued, tongues battling for dominance before you pulled away needing air.

That's why she's cool with it, She's down with it,

There's nothing wrong with it 'cause its easier this way,

She's so cool with it, She's down with it,

There's nothing wrong with it, Don't want it any other way.

“Well it kinda just happened a couple months ago, after a really rough day at work....for both of us I guess.” you tell her as she taps her finger to her bottom lip. “I see, so probably started off as a confrontation when no one was around and lead to some intense sex... Well we don't really see either of them after missions or when they seem to be in a rather foul mood. I'll go out on a limb and say it probably goes both ways if one of you wants the other you meet up, but I bet he mostly contacts you after the missions?” You nod at her.

“Okay, both of them could still fit this, lets see what else can I get off you before I make my guess.” You shift a little under her gaze. “Do you interact with them other then when you hook up?” Looking down at your hand then back at her, “not really I mean if he's in the lab, sure but we don't really see each other much between. He doesn't avoid it but we also don't go out of our ways either. I don't care what he does and vice versa, if either of us went on a date or something the other wouldn't mind. We just have this mutual agreement to be there to release some steam in a beneficial way to both of us.”

It's just your typical hardcore, casual sex,

We're single but we're lovers, crazy for each other,

Just your typical hardcore, casual sex,

We're wild under the covers, crazy for each other.

The two of you were covered in a thin layer of sweat and tried desperately to catch your breath and steady your heart rates again. To say that was the greatest sex you'd had in your entire life was a true statement. You couldn't help but feel your pride swell a little hearing him just as out of breath as you. Who would have thought you'd have the same effect on him as he you, and that a un-mixing formula would have put you in this bed, in the room and in the arms of this man. Having calmed your heart back to a decent speed you went to get up but a rather strong arm stopped you.

“Where do you think you are planning on going?” he asked as he pulled you back closer to him. “Well I was gonna go back to the lab an--” He cut you off with another searing kiss, and you could already feel him grinding his rock hard erection into your thigh. “We are only getting started here darling, I have yet to grow tired of hearing those delightful sounds escape your pretty mouth as I make you come undone..” Immediately forgetting the formula you swing your leg over him and straddle his hips. You were in for one hell of a night.

She so cool with it, She's down with it,

There's nothing wrong with it 'cause its easier this way,

She's so cool with it, She's down with it,

There's nothing wrong with it, Don't want it any other way.

“Earth to y/n? Are you asleep or lost in thoughts?” Nat asked as she waved a hand in front of your glazed over eyes. “Yeah sorry I'm here still thinking about how this all came to be.” She squinted her eyes at you, as if she had just figured something out. “So are you starting to get attached or want more then just hook up with him? And don't bother lying I can see right through you.” You glared at her, if she knew then why ask. “I don't know, maybe, I mean get get along well and I think maybe if we were to actually pursue this as a couple it may work out, but I haven't brought it up and neither has he, I didn't want to affect him as a avenger or bring up anything that would up set him after what he's been though. No point to lose out on a good thing just to call him my boyfriend if you know what I mean.” You both laugh but then you see her eyeing your neck. “Has he ever left a mark in such an obvious place, I mean it's basically screaming I'm owned don't even try.” rubbing the mark with your hand you think back but shake your head.

“Not that I can remember, we've both been pretty discreet, I didn't even know it was there till you showed me.” She looked as though a light bulb went off after you answered. “Last night was intense, and he left a mark intended to be seen, so what did you say or do differently that may have spurred this?” You sat there thinking and only one thing had come to mind. “I did mention I would be out of town for a few days with a fellow lab assistant do to some work we have to do off base, the assistant is a he, and after that he did seem to want to make it a point to leave a couple hickeys on my thigh.” She smiled and looked at you “Yeah I'd say maybe your mystery banger wants to do more then just bang, so damaged, possessive, dominate, kick ass stamina, and moody.. I'm gonna go with--”

It's just your typical hardcore, casual sex,

We're single, but we're lovers, crazy for each other,

Just your typical hardcore, casual sex,

We're wild under the covers crazy for each other.

 She was about to give you her answer, but the two of you were interrupted by Sam, Steve, and Bucky arguing about who knows Steve the best and who would be more help for him in a fight. You shot Nat a please don't say anything look and she winked at you. “Good morning ladies.” came Tony's chipper tone as he walked in followed by Thor and Loki. “hey guys, so thought I'd tell ya that our y/n here scored herself a date tonight with one of her hottie lab techs and she's not gonna be in this weekend, so no texting her Tony!” Nat announced. “Way to go y/n! Enjoy yourself then!” Steve said while grabbing the newspaper. Bucky gave you a thumbs up, Sam complained about how that meant he couldn't take you out, Thor gave you a huge smile while grabbing a full box of pop tarts, and Tony poured himself a cup of coffee then walked over to you and Nat.

“So was it this lucky guy your going out with the one who left that ?” he pointed to the mark you tried to cover. “Oh uh he--” before you could answer someone else did for you. “Actually no, that would be my handy work if you must know.” Loki's words caused everyone to share the look of surprise, all except for Nat who couldn't have had a more smug smile. “Now my pet if you would be so kind, I need to speak with you about this so called date.” You quickly followed him out of the kitchen out of more shock then anything after he had just declared you and he had slept together. The second the two of you rounded the corner you found yourself back in his bedroom. “Apparently I didn't make myself very clear the multiple times I asked you who you belonged to last night, as you came screaming my name.” His powerful arms resting on your hips. “Oh no you did, that was just Nat's way of say she knew who left this on me, but since we're back in here I'm more then happy for you to make it abundantly clear again.” you say as you look up through your lashes smiling.

Everybody wants a lover like that,

Wild under the covers, crazy for each other,

Everybody wants a lover like that

Wild under the covers, crazy for each other.

--/----------------------------------------------------------------

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TEXT: charlie ⇄  raquel

Charlie: good morning, babe. how was your night?

Raquel: Morning baby. It was good. Just wish I would have woken up next to you.

Charlie: i wish it too, but that would be too suspicious

Charlie: are you alone or is he there with you? just curious

Raquel: True or I could just make sure to still be stealthy.

Raquel: You actually think I'd go home with him after him being that drunk? No he's not with me.

Charlie: i would be worried if you did. he was really wasted last night, so i'm glad you're okay

Charlie: so, what are you doing now?

Raquel: In the words of a great disney icon I'm a big tough girl. I tie my own sandals and everything.

Raquel: I was going to shower and then look at emails my agent sent me. What are your plans for the day?

Charlie: nice

Charlie: i wish i was in that shower with you, but we'd waste water, am i right?

Charlie: so far, i will make myself some coffee and keep reading this business book

Raquel: You could always come over and shower with me.

Raquel: YOU'RE READING A BUSINESS BOOK? How is it? Is it hard to read? Can I help?

Raquel: Have I mentioned how happy and proud of you I am lately?

Charlie: i'm tempted, i'm really tempted to go there

Charlie: why are you surprised?! not really, this one is easy to read. plus, i have internet

Charlie: you haven't, and same goes to you. you haven't given up and you're still trying, and i'm sure something will come up for you soon

Raquel: well actually now that i know you're reading and that it's no too dense you should stay home. I can always send you something when you tell me you've finished a chapter just to motivate you.

Raquel: well maybe not surprise but just excited that you are.

Raquel: Then I should definitely say it more often because I really am. I'm not supposed to give up. This is the part where me being stubborn actually comes in handy.

Charlie: oh really? because i'm almost done with this chapter, babe. it seems like i'm getting my motivation reward soon

Charlie: i'm excited about this too. it's ambitious, but i can't wait to get this going on and open a bar. my own bar.

Charlie: i know you won't, one of your best traits is the perseverance. you'll get something soon, i believe in you

Raquel: Really? Well I sure hope you actually are reading and not just skimming the pages.

Raquel: It is a little ambitious with licensing and more people needing to be involved but it's something that you can do and if you're letting me help then we can definitely do it together. I just can't wait until my man has his bar with his name on it and other people get to see just how smart you are.

Raquel: Thanks babe.

Charlie: i swear i'm actually reading them, i'm not a cheater

Charlie: true, but it's worth the damn. i'm pretty sure it'll be rewarding once it's up and ready. of course, you can help and this will be our thing, babe. i can't wait for it.

Charlie: i'm so proud of you, you know that?

Raquel: right. I know you aren't.

Raquel: I didn't know if this would be our thing or just me being the supportive woman behind you. I would be okay with either. I just don't want you to think that this isn't yours.

Raquel: I've hardly done anything yet, but I still really appreciate it. You know you're the only one in my life that actually believes in me and I don't think you know just how much that actually means to me.

Charlie: i didn't mean that, sorry

Charlie: i like both options, i would be okay with either of them. you being supportive of me on this means a lot.

Charlie: not even nathan? how is that possible?

Raquel: no, it's okay. I might as well get used to hearing it. I did cheat and there's no reason why you should censor your words.

Raquel: I'm always going to support you. No matter what. You're the person I want to spend the rest of my life with so supporting you is supporting us and our relationship.

Raquel: Don't do that. I mean it. You're my biggest and only supporter. Nathan probably likes the idea of having a girlfriend that's an actress more than actually supporting one. He's good for my career and he has shown me a few things about the world, but that doesn't mean he is supportive or that I feel like I can lean on him. He's a mistake.

Charlie: still, i should have used another expression. all i wanted to say is that i'm following the rules and doing an exhaustive reading of this

Charlie: i like having a supporter. i like all of that.

Charlie: still, that's something an asshole does. i can't believe he doesn't do that, although i like the idea of being your only fan and supporter. well, the first of many, i hope

Raquel: Babe you don't have to treat me with kid gloves just because you used the word cheater. I knew what you meant. I'm fine.

Raquel: well now you're stuck with one so you better get used to it.

Raquel: He's not an asshole I just think we both didn't really know what we wanted. I do now. Hopefully. i don't want to be one of those celebrities with just a few fans. I'd be like the Paris Hilton of actresses and no one wants that.

Charlie: okay

Charlie: being each other's supporters is so good, and one of the best parts is that it brings benefits

Charlie: i really hope he's not one. nah, you'll have more than a few, you deserve them and it's not the fanclub president talking right now

Raquel: Benefits you say? I just might think that's the best part. Not that that's the only reason to be supportive.

Raquel: He isn't but it doesn't matter. Eventually he'll make someone happy and what we had was good. I think it's the fan club president and the whole being my man thing that is talking but that doesn't take away from any of it.

Charlie: not the only reason but it's a very attractive one, yes. like i'm the only one who gets to fuck you, or the one who gets to get nudes from you, for example

Charlie: yeah, you're right. it doesn't matter. well, no matter who's talking, i'm proud of you and you deserve success

Raquel: Is that a hint? You're the only one i want to fuck me.

Raquel: http://68.media.tumblr.com/dcc484e9f8edbc6b5f841327d881d116/tumblr_inline_o54tpvLQQw1tph66c_500.jpg

Raquel: Keep reading.

Raquel: My success means noting if you're not successful with me.

Charlie: damn

Charlie: yes ma'am, i've just started another chapter

Charlie: you'd be successful anyways but that's a nice thought you have

Raquel: you're welcome.

Raquel: good boy. You could always be rewarded with a lot more than pics.

Raquel: Babe if I want a life with you. A future I don't want us both to be happy and successful. If not his is going to get hard. I don't want to wake up one day and realize that I've lost you because we've outgrown each other. I want us to grow together and build a life together. I said before that I didn't see a future for us and now I just want a future. That's all I want for us.

Charlie: oh yes? what do you have in mind for me, babe?

Charlie: i don't want that either. i'd feel empty if we parted ways after all this time, i don't know. i can't imagine a future where you're not in it, even if i ended up opening this.

Raquel: I could always come to you. You can show me everything you learned and jot figures on my clit with your tongue.

Raquel: I think that's the most romantic thing you've ever said to me. I can't picture anything without you so there isn't ever going to be an empty feeling.

Charlie: as long as you sit on my face, babe. i feel like having you ride my face today, i don't know why

Charlie: besides, you could totally blow me and help me with this boner i have from seeing your pic. i'm almost naked already

Charlie: i don't know when i started to say romantic shit but that's the truth. i'm glad you see it that way.

Raquel: can this be an every day mood because I think I could be okay with that.

Raquel: I plan on taking care of that. Good to know I can still turn you on.

Raquel: Hey, I like the romantic stuff. At least I'm not the only one being Nacho around here.

Charlie: you're not the only one who'd be okay about that, so

Charlie: good girl. it seems like i'm going from just wearing underwear and reading with a cup of coffee to completely naked as soon as you get here

Charlie: hey, i'm not cheesy. i'm hot and badass, with an special emphasis on hot

Raquel: so I can get my throne every day

Raquel: you just described the best day ever. And deprived me of seeing you read without a shirt so you're definitely going to have to pay for that one.

Raquel: so are you saying you can't be all of the above?

Charlie: you can sit in your throne whenever you want, babe

Charlie: oh really? what are you going to do to me?

Charlie: well, i feel most identified with 'hot' and 'badass' than with 'cheesy'

Raquel: well you can't say whenever because then I'll never want you to stop going down on me.

Raquel: I'm planning on kissing you from head to toe. Kissing the tip of your cock before blowing you so hard that you're going to want to cum inside my mouth. But before you can, I'm going to lay you down and ride you until I cum all over your cock.

Raquel: you can be all three and add in sexy and intelligent.

Charlie: oh, don't stop on my account. you know i love having your pussy on my face

Charlie: is that your idea of a punishment? because i can get behind that. as long as you let me cum too

Charlie: can we say you're the cheesy one and i'm the badass in this?

Raquel: and i love fucking your tongue almost as much as I love fucking your cock.

Raquel: sure is. I didn't mention letting you cum...

Raquel: I can be the badass. I'm totally a badass with a great ass.

Charlie: wasn't that the whole point of this? i read, i get informed of how a business works, you reward me for that

Charlie: we can be badass together, but you're the cheesy one on this

Raquel: Or I led you to believe that that's what the whole point of this was. It could have just been punishment all along for reading while I wasn't there to watch.

Raquel: I still don't accept it completely but I guess if we're together that's all that matters. And I'm aware that that was cheesy. Still doesn't prove your point.

Charlie: you're meaner than you let everyone think, babe. then there's no point on eating you out, unless i can make it up for it somehow

Charlie: true, it doesn't matter who's what in this. let's leave it at, well, we are hot and awesome. and very sexy.

Raquel: I'm absolutely evil, but you just said something about always wanting to go down on me so you can't take that back. You're locked in.

Raquel: I can agree to that one. Now let your sexy and hot girlfriend try to drive.

Charlie: i didn't know you could be that evil, babe. mmm, is there anything else i can do so you can let me cum

Charlie: good, my hot and sexy girlfriend can drive and she better arrive soon

Raquel: I can be even more evil. That was me being nice. I don't know. How about you try to give me some ideas.

Raquel: Your girlfriend will be there soon.

Charlie: nah, i really want to get laid, so no, no ideas for you

Charlie: be here soon, i finished a second chapter today and i want my reward

Raquel: well the ideas could actually help with you getting laid. Don't act like you don't have any.

Charlie: well, come up with any and tell me. or better, show me.

Raquel: hmmm you could always try fucking my ass seeing if that can make you cum. Bending me over and fucking me, or maybe even just putting me face down on your bed and having me take every bit of you. If not you can just try things and see what will make you feel better. I guess i can let you cum so long as you cum inside me.

Charlie: i miss fucking your ass

Charlie: don't get that shower babe, because a fuckfest is happening as soon as you get here. i hope you don't have anything to do later

Raquel: well you should have said it and it would have happened a lot sooner.

Raquel: guess I'll just have to shower with you later. Nope I have no errands and Nathan is on a boys trip out of town for the next three days and when he gets back we'll be over so it doesn't even mater.

Charlie: it seems like we're going to have three days to make up for the little time we had yesterday. except when we have to work, but three days are three days.

Charlie: we can do plenty of things in three days

Raquel: oh so you just want to monopolize my three days?

Raquel: I never said I was going to give you all three days. You'd probably break me before then.

Charlie: well, at least two of them.

Charlie: nah, i'm kidding

Charlie: i wasn't just talking about having sex like rabbits, but that's tempting

Raquel: I can deal with all three I was kidding. I'll be yours every day any day.

Raquel: as tempting as it is I think even we have to take a break sometimes. Speaking of breaks just know that you'll be doing all of the food breaks and going out to get us food.

Charlie: good, because we're having so much fun at my place. or yours, wherever you want

Charlie: why does it have to me be all the time, babe? can't we just take turns or something?

Raquel: i always like your place more than mine. I don't know why. It just feels more like home than mine does.

Raquel: Im going to pull the non feminist card and say that the man is supposed to do the "hunting" even if it is just going to go get our food.

Charlie: cheesy but nice. we both know you like my bed so much

Charlie: but think about this: you can go get food and find me reading and naked in bed, which is exactly what you missed earlier

Raquel: it's not just your bed but sure that is part of it.

Raquel: I thought about it and the whole point is to not miss any part of the reading not just come back to it so hard pass.

Charlie: unless we order food, i'll have to get up and cook something or go get take out food, so i wouldn't be reading then

Raquel: you going out to get our take out can be counted as your mental break. See I thought that one through.

Charlie: fuck, you really did

Charlie: well, i guess i'm in charge of the food, but what are you going to do for me instead?

Raquel: obviously I'm in charge of the mind blowing sex, back massages, random conversations and making you happy. Besides every time you go out you get to come back home to me which I think is always a bonus

Charlie: sounds like i'm in charge of the food, good sex and giving you sexy views then. sounds like a deal

Raquel: well good because that's the only deal you're getting 😜

Charlie: we'll see about that. now get your hot ass here so i can fuck you already

Raquel: Patience. It's a virtue you clearly don't have.