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rainyfestivalsweets · 8 months

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9/7/23

Big day today, have to get mom to town for an appointment with her lung doctor.

Not as much pain but God I need more sleep, I feel untested beside my best efforts.

And gosh, the idea to start a YouTube channel is hitting again and again. But I don't want to be one of those people who needs to regain to keep the channel going, you know? I see that alot.

Made it to work and watching a Biggest Loser expose. I used to watch that show. I actually loved that show because it gave me hope.

I have always been an avid exerciser. Even at my fattest I was going to the gym often.

However it is really scary to see that 5 out of 6 contestants had regained the weight.

As a person who topped the scales at over 300 pounds as a woman- It is scary. Am I going through this whole process to inevitably gain all the weight back?

And here is my evaluation. The Biggest Loser lost because it did not create a lifestyle, it leaned more towards an "all or nothing" mentality. They were working out 5-8 hours a day....who has time for that in real life?? It was unsustainable! It also creates the idea 💡 that... if you don't have at least 5 hours to workout, you shouldn't even bother.

Which isn't true, really. If you are moving from a sedentary lifestyle, every minute counts. Every minute either on your feet or walking counts. It makes a difference, especially considering at a certain point of weight, standing hurts. Walking HURTS.

Do you need 8 hours to workout? No.

But how about a 20 minute daily walk? 🤔

This really does need to be a lifestyle, no matter how many "dietista" tags I use, LOL. You need to build a life that you love & enjoy and I feel like I am doing that.

The other point to note about The Biggest Loser is that the contestants obviously needed more of a reverse diet, to rebuild their metabolisms after the show.

My plan is to use a controlled reverse diet when I am at my goal weight so that I will eventually be able to eat more and still maintain my weight loss. My suggestion is to google how bodybuilders do it if you want to learn how... it is basically a process where you slowly add calories back in to find your maintenance level, and keep working out, weights especially, to eventually increase your muscle mass.

The trainers on the show likely knew how to do that so I don't know why they left their contestants unsupported. Maybe they tried & failed, idk. Maybe there needed to be a ranch after the ranch, haha.

I am only halfway thru my journey, I need to make sure I don't get discouraged by stuff like this.

Can I go back to the way I used to be? Sure. But that will mean I will be going back to the life I aimed to leave behind. What have I had to change? Everything, it seems!

Diets don't work.

Lifestyles do. Build the life you want.

Stay safe, lovelies. Slow and steady. You got this.

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pageyfit · 7 months

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Yesterday I weighed myself for the first time in quite a while. I already knew I had gained some weight.

17 stone, 10 lbs.

It was a shock that I had gained so much so quickly. And hopefully, a bit of a wake up call.

There is a lot in my life that I cannot control. There is a lot in my life that I cannot undo. There is also a lot in my life that I cannot change right away - changes that will take time.

What I put into my body is something I can change right now. It is a decision I can make today and keep making every day going forward. I will be in control of what I eat. Food will not control me.

Losing the weight, getting healthier, getting fitter... these are all things that will take time to happen after putting in work. And of course there are other factors that help or hinder those things along the way.

Today I choose to start being more mindful of what I am putting into my body. That is something only I can control, and something that I have the power to influence immediately.

First goal: get down to under 17 stone 7lbs.

#weight loss journey #weight loss #fighting obesity #health journey #health and wellness #lose weight #dieting #mental health #ed recovery #binge eating disorder #self improvement #healing

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latenightsundayblues · 7 months

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How bout that hoffman? How about THEM apples?

#spent so much time making this lmfao #its really messy bc its been years since my last flipaclip animation pls be nice to me or i WILL cry #picked this audio over “OCD? you mean obesity”#moooooooooooom the girlfail and the manwhore are fighting again #saw #saw hoffman #saw amanda #amanda young #mark hoffman #saw fanart #saw franchise #really shouldve looked up references of cars before starting on it #latenightsundayblues art tag

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encouragepiggies · 1 year

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I’ve been stuffed full nonstop for like 2 weeks now lol…. Like waking up, eating, lazing around the house, napping, eating, gorging on ice cream in between snacks for fast food meals, sleeping, repeating….

I’m sure this isn’t going to have lasting effects on my relationship with food. It’s not like I’m going to start needing to be full and content all the time now, right?

#weight gain #I use to go to exercise classes LOL #get addicted to getting fat it’s good #I’m stuffed while eating some icing with my nontyping hand #it gets easier everyday #and harder to fight #fatter is good for you #fatter is better #glorify obesity #promote obesity #glorifying obesity #eat up #eat eat eat

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flolio · 5 months

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exposing flos 100 percent real fat phobia towards my dog

UHMMM?????? Ok what’s this ur practically telling ur hosrse u want him to run me over….

#I’ll fight u #UR DOG IS OBESE THO????#LIKE NO JOKE

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anarchywoofwoof · 3 months

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the funny thing is that i don't think younger people - and i mean those under the age of 40 - really have a grasp on how many of today's issues can be tied back to a disastrous reagan policy:

war on drugs: reagan's aggressive escalation of the war on drugs was a catastrophic policy, primarily targeting minority communities and fueling mass incarceration. the crusade against drugs was more about controlling the Black, Latino and Native communities than addressing the actual problems of drug abuse, leading to a legacy of broken families and systemic racism within the criminal justice system.

deregulation and economic policies: reaganomics was an absolute disaster for the working class. reagan's policies of aggressive tax cuts for the rich, deregulation, and slashing social programs were nothing less than class warfare, deepening income inequality and entrenching corporate greed. these types of policies were a clear message that reagan's america was only for the wealthy elite and a loud "fuck you" to working americans.

environmental policies: despite his reputation being whitewashed thanks to the recovery of the ozone layer, reagan's environmental record was an unmitigated disaster. his administration gutted critical environmental protections and institutions like the EPA, turning a blind eye to pollution and corporate exploitation of natural resources. this blatant disregard for the planet was a clear sign of prioritizing short-term corporate profits over the future of the environment.

AIDS crisis: reagan's gross neglect of the aids crisis was nothing short of criminal and this doesn't even begin to touch on his wife's involvement. his administration's indifference to the plight of the lgbtq+ community during this devastating epidemic revealed a deep-seated bigotry and a complete failure of moral leadership.

mental health: reagan's dismantling of mental health institutions under the guise of 'reform' led directly to a surge in homelessness and a lack of support for those with mental health issues. his policies were cruel and inhumane and showed a personality-defining callous disregard for the most vulnerable in society.

labor and unions: reagan's attack on labor unions, exemplified by his handling of the patco strike, was a blatant assault on workers' rights. his actions emboldened corporations to suppress union activities, leading to a significant erosion of workers' power and rights in the workplace. he was colloquially known as "Ronnie the Union Buster Reagan"

foreign policy and military interventions: reagan's foreign policy, particularly in latin america, was imperialist and ruthless. his administration's support for dictatorships and right-wing death squads under the guise of fighting "communism" showed a complete disregard for human rights and self-determination of other nations.

public health: yes, reagan's agricultural policies actually facilitated the rise of high fructose corn syrup, once again prioritizing corporate profits over public health. this shift in the food industry has had lasting negative impacts on health, contributing to the obesity epidemic and other health issues.

privatization: reagan's push for privatization was a systematic dismantling of public services, transferring wealth and power to private corporations and further eroding the public's access to essential services.

education policies: his approach to education was more of an attack on public education than anything else, gutting funding and promoting policies that undermined equal access to quality education. this was, again, part of a broader agenda to maintain a status quo where the privileged remain in power.

this is just what i could come up with in a relatively short time and i did not even live under this man's presidency. the level at which ronald reagan has broken the united states truly can't be overstated.

#twitter #fuck ronald reagan #fuck conservatives

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becominghalftheman · 6 months

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I am currently on day 3 post op from a vgs that I had done in Mexico. This blog is going to be of my journey from the start. My years of being obese all the way up to and post surgery struggles. What Ive been through and what I am currently going through.

#weight loss #my journey #gastric sleeve #obesity #fight for my life

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rainyfestivalsweets · 1 year

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12/23/22 242 something

Not worried about it. Had some Alka seltzer last night so I might be a little bloated.

Long day already today. Have 2 more hours to work at my desk job. My office is still cold despite the heater running all damn day.

I spent my morning break cooking for my mom. Egg + toast + peanut butter.

My lunch break doing the dishes.

Watching The Real World Szn 3. Because I need some distraction. Puck will help, right?

Distract distract distract.

There are so many holiday goodies and such, I need/want to stay busy.

Made myself some Holiday Chai tea.

I have loads of projects to do. Loads and loads. Start somewhere and just go. Don't worry about results.

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alphafightmusic · 8 months

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"STOP EATING THAT'S WHY YOU'RE FAT!!!"- Kelly Hyland

#dance moms #lifetime #abby lee miller #abby lee dance company #maddie ziegler #kenzie ziegler #reality tv #fight #drama #paige hyland #brooke hyland #chair #baskin robbins #obesity

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murobrown · 1 year

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#i hate food so fucking much #and I hate that I need to eat #and I hate that I'm like this and I can't live like a normal person #i think i got myself into pretty bad place and i can't get out #because in past few weeks i decided I'm not going to care about calories and working out and eating unhealthy #and now i can't look at myself anymore #and I'm really fighting the urge to eat just once a day #I'm trying to take care about myself but it's hard when I feel so much anger towards myself whenever I eat something #so then I eat and exercise and run until I can't stand on my legs anymore #and I am trying to understand that gaining 2-3kg isn't going to change anything but I feel like a failure #i think i went completely crazy #i really don't know how to hndle this #i lost 20 kg in less than 12 months and I like my body for the first time in my life #for the first time in my life i feel sexy and attractive #and I'm so scared to gain any weight because I don't ever want to be fat again I don't want to how I felt #but now gaining a gram of weight makes me feel like I'm fucking obese again #and it's frustrating because just period by itself makes you gain weight I'm fully aware that bodies are constantly changing #but I can't stop trying to fight it #and I'm fucking tired of this #of constantly counting calories and weighing myself and measuring myself...like I want to stop... I don't want to care anymore #but i can't because then it feels like I'm not in control #i feel like I'm going in a bad direction if I'm not in constant calorie deficit #and I'm scared because I also don't want to hurt my body any more than it already is #I don't know what to do because all doctors are telling me that I'm fine and healthy #I'm sorry for talking about this I'm sure i must sound absolutely stupid #it's just that dinner time is coming and I'm trying to do everything possible so that it comes later #and hilarious thing is that I'll eat salad with tomatoes and cucumber and feel fucking guilty about it until it will keep me awake tonight #i apologse...i am aware how negative i am #i just can't say this to anyone and it feels nice to complain to the void

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velveetawabbit · 1 year

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Neutral Bodies and why I have one: the novel (for some godforsaken reason)

TW; speaking of past fatphobia, mentions of eating disorders (Is that the right stuff? Is that the right place to put it? The Void, if you could possibly give feedback on this one, it would be lovely.)

Ahem, Hello again, Void. *flourishes a crate which has crudely handwritten words "SOAP BOX" presented on all sides by ragged pieces of paper. Each misshaped rectangle is heavily taped to the sides as though caught in a tape-spiders web, setting it gently on the ground, then steps up onto it with certainty while addressing the vast endlessness of 1's and 0's*

I don't have a memory where I wasn't medically overweight or obese. (very low food quality up until about 15 pretty much) I once felt shame and envy at all the "pretty and skinny" girls, because at the time I was literally the only overweight kid in my entire class from 4-6 grade. The body hatred continued. My mother was nothing but a hinder, as she was fueling that hatred bonfire through passionate vicarious living that overall damaged my health in many varieties.

But, in middle school (my area it's only grade 7-8/12-14 years old) there was suddenly more kids my size hanging around, and I ended up friends with several of them. I compared myself to them constantly, and felt such a hungry need to be accepted that I sort of leaned into being obese, and also took less care of myself in tandem.

Very good combo, amazing, you should try it /sarcasm

In high school, I finally met people who were bigger than I was, and it blew my mind as much as showed a dirty spotlight on myself because at first I saw them and thought "ew", just like everyone else had at me my entire life. For sure mentally stomping down instead of lifting up, I held onto the "ew" thought.

Slowly, it faded, because I finally got to see and understand that you can be friends and have fun with anyone regardless of how they look or their backgrounds. It also helped that my mother moved away from me and I got to live with my grandmother (thus the jump in food quality~ #GoGrandma). One HUGE ding in the overall positive high school experience (I did and currently do theatre) was the pressure to look a certain way in order to receive a role (It's still there, but not nearly as distressing in my neck of the woods, thankfully).

For high school drama, an overweight girl being good for nothing more than overweight mom archetypes, ugly nerds, or just the physical butt of mean-spirited jokes was embarrassing and made me feel unlovable. (Did NOT help that my teacher was a petty ass queen of a man who cherry picked his favorites and then flaunted his lack of care *coughabilitycough* in acting by being excessively blatant about it. He for sure planned his season based on them. Those favorites felt bad about it too :( none of us really held any grudges because of it.)

College came and I barely even cared about weight, I still felt unlovable and ugly due to my weight, but I took care to change my poor first impressions of others once I got to know them. Sure, I still would think "ew" when meeting people, but I gave myself a moment to do better and let that person be more than their appearance. I still fumble but I think I'm doing great.

A lot of those college theatre folks and friends really loved themselves, opened my head up to mental wellness, and got me more comfortable in my skin. I wasn't active, sure, but it made it easier to participate in physical activities, because there wasn't any pressure to be losing weight from peers, and in hindsight, as I was writing this I realized I was also very separated from constant advertisements. In college I streamed everything in some commercial-free fashion, unlike most of my life thus far where my main source of entertainment was received through cable television.

*the SOAP BOX creaks and squeaks noisily for a few moments as weight is shifted and a heavy sigh is heaved*

Then it started to tilt over the other way once I'd moved on to the working field. The body positivity movement was picking up, and now I had people getting in my space telling me how pretty I am and stuff. It was really frustrating, because it felt much like applauding someone with Down Syndrome just for going to the store by themselves when they're a perfectly functional adult who doesn't need you infantilizing them.

Other people now felt the need to try and heal an insecurity for me that, at the time, I had already slowly started to get over. It ramped back up my self hatred because: now I'm overweight, and people feel the need to go out of their way to tell me how beautiful I am, which could be just as harmful as mocking someone for their level of obesity. (I'm like, boss level btw) (But also wjen you talk like that to people you're literally one slight snort away from coming off as a total jackass sometimes, and it sucks that the You I'm talking to has not an ounce of an idea who they are. :T)

For me it for sure was harmful, especially because it was always people smaller than me, people I considered skinny and beautiful snapping their necks to try and virtue signal to themselves or the world that they didn't think fat people were monsters.

Then, I had people, for the first time, romantically interested in me because of my OBESITY. je ne sais w h a t ???

I am currently trying to maintain a more healthy weight due to incredible knee damage, so I've been on a health journey, one that has also resulted in steady slow weight loss. That got me walked out on one date, and ghosted the rest (RIP, but not really, lol). Even so, those brief moments made me wonder if I was being an idiot for putting in all this effort in my health because now I'm the only person who wants to treat my obesity! (Besides, you know, my doctor)

It felt like all I was again, was a fat person. But now I'm some commodity for society instead of some gross animal.

Fret not though.

Now I have a nice mental toolbox, and I took all this unasked for feedback from strangers about my weight in some abstract fashion and just chucked it right into the mental shredder. None of those people likely cared about me, they cared about themselves and feeling like a good person, which, understandable and same, but it can go overboard easily; as most well intentioned things tend to do anyways.

I entered n e u t r a l i t y.

WOAH.

My body is there to get me around, go do this stuff, experience this thing; my happy little cozy home for my neurons and synapsis to live for a time. It's got these nifty fingers and stuff, eyes are kinda shit, knees are shit... sorry my body has had it R O U G H, like I'm anecdotal proof that cheap preservative rich foods permanently damage you beyond just heart disease and obesity. My GI system is decimated, I'm fighting with my stomach acid and lower intestines constantly. I legit theorize the health problems I have are more caused by the plethora of poorly regulated preservatives and food dyes than poor early life nutrition and obesity. If I get stomach or intestinal cancer I'm going to explode from vindication.

*A screen suddenly snaps into existence from above, a non-existent film projector drops down, a video of a grainy commercial ala early 2000's begins to play. A tired looking old man sits in a sweater, speaking shortly of his troubles and health concerns, and then mentions the sorts of food he'd once enjoyed so much, specifying brands, and then finally drops into the meat of this ad:

If you or a loved once have been diagnosed with /odd but serious to say name of GI specific illness here/ due to heavy ingestion of the listed ingredients or food brands and products, please, call the number below to see if you qualify for reimbursement for your care.

The screen suddenly snaps out of existence again, moving on as though nothing had happened*

Suddenly I didn't think about how I'd look like when I lost weight, or gained weight or faded out all the stretchmarks or acne scars like I used to. I was shelling out hundreds of dollars chasing that mask of beauty to hide under until that point, and prying off that stupid mask and throwing it away felt SO GOOD. Way good. 10/10 would recommend!!

Now when I go try on clothes, I don't go "oh, but my fat looks weird :(" or anything like that.

When I feel myself a wriggling and a jiggling as I hoof it around, IDGAF. (Unless chafe occurs, all bets are off when mama's thighs be feeling like fresh fries)

Don't fit in that chair? Aha, standings not a problem!

I don't think negative things about myself. I still verbally rag on myself all the time, it keeps me humble and makes it easy to laugh at my little mistakes and dumb flaws, but in no way does it mean I hate myself.

I'm hilarious and I'm a walking joke, fuck-you-very-much.

I loathe that so many people have felt the need to project that personal trauma onto me by jumping to my own defense; as though I don't know who I am and what I'm about.

I just want folks to be better self aware, and slower to fixate on others to try and forget about their own problems. A big ask, I am very aware, so I don't keep any hopes up on that social climate change.

I took on more consciousness about when I was projecting myself on others, and took it as the feedback it was and grew like a weed, and I hang in there just as aggressively too. I couldn't hurt my feelings if I tried because I love myself more than other peoples insecurities.

*both hands lift up to eith side to form impromptu hand puppets*

Left Hand: Good job me!

Right hand: Thanks me!

*high fives and hands drop back down to sides*

In the end, I still kinda hate the body positivity movement, especially because I don't think people realize how much they tell on themselves when they always look at the biggest person in the room when bringing up body positivity. As I am often that person, I notice.

Every. Single. Time.

Luckily the movement has better meshed with corporations, and social media found more things to froth at the mouth over, so I no longer have people tossing themselves on non-existent swords for my sake when I don't even know them, but still, if you do this: you stop that. >:Y

Going from "Ew" to "Oh you're so brave" was more insulting than empowering, for me it was often super fake. If you genuinely can't find a compliment, don't force it. Sincerity makes the manners, not the words.

You can for sure still feel like a good person without inadvertently being the bad person tho. My friend suggested it to me, hopefully more people would consider more neutral ways to brighten other people's day, things those people can change all the time easily: clothing, hair style/length, footwear, accessories, tattoos, etc. (I think hair color and eye color also fall under here, but it could be in more of a grey area due to semi-permanence)

The observation while quick, should at least be more than two seconds.

Bonus effort if you pick a key feature of said focus of compliment, because that's putting in some actual effort to uplift someone else.

Example: Woah, I love your bag, you rock it great!

You got this, those-that-need-this-the-most-who-wont-ever-see-this-ever!

#obesity #bodypositivity #body neutrality #body negativity #cringe humor #fight me #don't actually tho

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keptfatkepthumble · 4 months

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You’re My Chubby Boyfriend

Text by @toptierteaser

You’ve gotten so oblivious since we started dating. You’ve been happy. That’s obvious. You can see it on your face, how content you are, how comfortable you’ve gotten. How docile. I’ve been treating you well. And you’ve let me. You’ve allowed me to spoil you, to pamper you. And all that relationship satisfaction has certainly taken a toll. On your mood, on your mental health. Everything has improved.

Everything, that is, but your weight.

You’ve ballooned, fat boy. You’ve thickened quite a bit during our time together. You’ve been letting me feed you, as you sit on that widening, pampered ass of yours. Letting me stuff you silly at dinner. Letting me bring you endless snacks, coaxing goodies and treats down your greedy throat, convincing those plump, submissive lips of yours to part for my desserts. You’ve been letting me fill you; not just filling your heart or your mind or your time. But I’ve been filling up your body as well.

You’ve changed, fatty.

You’ve let all the weight accumulate all over yourself, transforming from that handsome, fit jock I smiled at as I watched him pack away dinner, my own leftovers, and dessert as well. As I sat back, like a fox watching a plump porker fatten himself, knowing your potential, knowing what I could do to you if I put my mind to it.

And it’s unmistakable now. You’re not a fit, single jock anymore. You’re my dumb, handsome chubber of a boyfriend. A plump boytoy whose mind is filled with the thought of donuts and cupcakes and cookies and pies. All being brought to him on a plate by his loving, doting significant other. By me

You’re so obese and awkward now.

That relationship weight has accumulated all over. Your stomach, which was once muscular, is now covered in layers of lard, its dough spilling out onto your lap. Your legs covered in fat, fighting to take up space in your chair as you squeeze your enormous ass back so you can play your video games.

As you stuff your face, stupidly, watching your mind-numbing shows and scrolling on your phone. Your double chin highlighting the cuteness of your face, outlining the plumpness where your handsome jawline used to be.

But I do my best to minimize the discomfort, to make sure you don’t have to struggle into those terrible shorts with the button anymore. No, those all burst a while ago. Now, I’ve spoiled you and bought you several pairs of stretchy athletic shorts that leave little room for growth. Packing away your work shirts and button ups and replacing them with stretchy, breathable t-shirts. Shirts that crease under your juicy moobs, that rest above your belly button, exposing your chub. You don’t even notice as I hold a plate of brownies in front of you.

I love showing you off to the world, taking pictures and posting them on social media. “Look how cute my man is, everyone!” I write. While in my mind I think about how much of a pig you are. How you jiggle now, when you step. How your ass cheeks have to shift because your butt has ballooned so big.

There’s just no hope for you anymore, now, fat boy. So open wide.

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