Tumgik
#feel free to use or send to me idc tbh
byanyan · 1 year
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♡ this post and the bright pink knife child will come cause some trouble in your inbox
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hiro-doodlez · 7 months
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LIST OF ENGLISH ACRONYMS AND ABBREVIATIONS (the random letters that people use sometimes)!! FEEL FREE TO USE AS A REF (reference) SHEET!! In alphabetical too!!
Tone indicators at the bottom!
GENERAL:
AFK- away from keyboard
AKA- also known as
ASAP- as soon as possible
ASL- American Sign Language
B4- before
BC- because
BF- boyfriend
BFF- best friends forever
BTW- By the way
BTS- Behind the scenes/back to school / that one band
BRB- be right back
CW: content warning
Cya- see ya
DM- direct message
DW- dont worry
EZPZ- easy peasy
FB- Facebook
FW: flash warning
FAQ- frequently asked questions
FYI- for your information
GF- girl friend
GG- good game
GJ- Good job
GL- good luck
Gnite- good night
GTFO- get the fuck out
GTG- got to go
Gud- good
H8- hate
HBD- happy birthday
Hella- really
HMU- Hit me up
HW- Homework
IDK- I don't know
IDC- I don't care
IG- I guess / instagram
IK- I know
IKR- I know right
K- okay
Lmao- laughing my ass off
Kewl- cool
Kk- okay
Lol- laugh out loud
ILY- I love you
ILYSM- I love you so much
IMO- in my opinion
IRL- in real life
IYKYK- if you know you know
JFC- Jesus fucking chrkst
Jk- just kidding
L8R- later
LMAO- laughing my ass off
LMK-let me know
LOL- laughing out loud
Mkay- mm okay
NE- Any
NE1- anyone
NGL- not gonna lie
NM- Nothing much
NP: no problem
NSFW- not safe for work
NVM- nevermind
NW- no worries
Obv- obviously
OFC- of course
OMW- on my way
OP- original post(er)
OTP- one true pairing
Ova- over
Pic- picture
Pls-please
Plz-please
POV: point of view
Ppl- people
Prolly- probably
QOTD- quote of the day
R- are
RB- reblog
Ref- reference
Rly- really
RN- right now
RP- role play
RPG-role playing game
RT- retweet
Sec- second
SH- self harm
SMH- shaking my head
SMP- survival multiplayer server (Minecraft) / social media platform (?)
S.O- significant other
Sui- suicide
Sus- suspicious
STFU- shut the fuck up
T- testosterone
TBA- to be announced
TBF- to be fair
TBH- to be honest
TF- the fuck
Thnks- thanks
Thx- thanks
TLDR- too long didn't read (usually a summary)
TMRW- tomorrow
TOS- terms of service
TTYL-talk to you later
TW: trigger warning
Vid- video
WTF- what the fuck
WYD- what are you doing?
YOLO- You only live once
YT- YouTube
YW- you're welcome
—————
If the one youre looking for isnt here, either i forgot or its a fandom! Id suggest looking it up if youre confused!
Extra note: if you see 8 in one of the acronyms, then it usually is used as an “ate” sound. So h8= ate, gr8= great ect.
—————
TONE INDICATORS:
/aff- affectionate
/c- copypasta
/cb- clickbait (?)
/f- fake
/gen- genuine
/genq- genuine question
/half joking
/ij- inside joke
/j- joking
/lyr- lyrics
/lh- light hearted
/lu- little upset
/neg- negative
/nf- not forced
/nm- not mad
/npa- not passive aggresive
/nsrs- not serious
/p- platonic
/pa- passive aggresive
/pos- positive
/q- quote
/r- romantic
/ref
/s- sarcastic
/srs- serious
/t- teasing
/th- threat
I HOPE THIS HELPS!! and if i forgot to add one feel free to send an ask ^^
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mr-orion · 14 days
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☆I heavily appreciate comments/reblogs on my work☆
☆ Lgbtqia+ friendly ☆ POC friendly ☆ any other minority friendly ☆ Disability friendly ☆ working on adding image ID to all future drawings ☆
Fujioshi UNFRIENDLY ♡ Terf UNFRIENDLY ♡ "LG community" UNFRIENDLY ♡
Turn on your notifications for me ♡ plsplspls (you really dont have to, i do shitpost a lot when I'm not drawing)
Otherwise I can add you to my taglist so you will only see the FINISHED things I make. This will not include sketches. (Primarily art, sometimes writing!) Just comment or drop a private ask saying you want to be added. Additionally if you want to be removed then just say so, no hard feelings.
If you make original works add me to YOUR TAG LIST. TAG ME. YOU HAVE MY PERMISSION, I WANT TO BE TAGGED IN ART AND WRITING AND ADJACENT THINGS. IDC IF WE'RE STRANGERS.
My DM's are open, feel free to strike up a conversation about anything. I will not respond if your blog is ageless/underage. I understand I'm very cool and all but practice internet safety and do not message adults privately online. Just because I don't have bad intentions doesn't mean other people don't. If you'd like, you can send me an ask instead!
☆About☆
Hi! I'm Orion, he/him, 20.
My favorite color is pink, I adore my black cat, and I love drawing and worldbuilding. I don't tend to spend a lot of time posting so you may notice the worldbuilding bit is lacking. I plan to start publishing more writing!
I typically scower the OC art tag for new artists to follow. I try to leave comments and likes everywhere! Occasionally asks for my mutuals too.
☆Tags☆
Here are some general tags I use
#Writing
#Oc Art
#Sketch
#Art Reblogs
#Others Ocs - Typically my fanart and reblogs
My textposts are rarely tagged. Stumbling upon them is a privilege
☆Writing Tags☆
🚧 ;l under construction 🚧
☆OC List☆
I get asked a lot if people can draw my ocs. YES! I usually draw something back if I have the chance too (no promises). I do ask that you do not whitewash my OC's, especially Mzamaki. It's incredibly awkward as it has happened way too many times for me to be comfortable with. His coloration is based on what I think is most aesthetically pleasing, and very intentional. It kills my excitement to see a free work of art get it wrong, and y'know. I can't really complain because it's free, so it just sucks... I don't believe it's an intentional message of whiteness being better, I will always give the benefit of the doubt. I strongly don't like it though
Art trades are always welcome too
My OC's are grouped by who they most interact with. Additionally if there have been any posts made about them they will have a hashtag
Favorites are highlighted in blue, but tbh, I love them all
#mr orion Ray
#mr orion Icarus
Quinn
Luciel
Maurice
Rika
Achilles
Cameron
Brenda
#mr orion Caelum
#mr orion Avin
#mr orion Armir
#mr orion Apache
#mr orion Liam
Marshall
Fantasy OC's
#mr orion Mzamaki / #Mzamaki
#mr orion Rhian
#mr orion Baron
#mr orion Lezna
#mr orion Neve
#mr orion Elliot
Lastly #mr orion misc oc one off characters and designs
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dnangelic · 3 months
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A quick and dirty RP policy guide
Bold all that apply to you and your blog. Italics if you’re on the fence about something. Either reblog or repost. Feel free to add anything I may have missed in the appropriate category, or recategorize something that is in the wrong place!
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My blog is ______
Open to all
Semi-selective
Selective
Moderately Selective
Highly selective
Exclusive ( ^ idc for any of these labels for myself tbh whats below is more important🏃‍♂️ )
Only going to RP with mutuals
Mostly going to RP with mutuals ( if you have a sideblog that's fine! )
Indie
Affiliated with a group
Spoilers free (it's a 30 year old series nobody pays attn to anymore though??? dark's been dead for over 10 slutty slutty years 😭 laksjlkdjg)
Spoilers tagged
Spoilers mostly tagged
I will RP with ______
Any fandom
Most fandoms (there are a few i'm uncomfortable with!)
Only fandoms I know
Mostly fandoms I know
Only people in my fandom (aslkdjf all five of them?? 🥺)
OCs
OCs with no fandom ties
OCs who are related to/know my character in their backstory
Only one version of any particular character
People who have the same muse as me
People who do not have a rules page
Multimuse blogs
People in RP groups
Indie RPers
When RPing, I like to use _______
Paragraphs
Shorter forms of text (i get very bored of single one-liner exchanges very fast!)
*Action* (dark will text like this. errybody watch out for teh glompz XD sorry)
Icons
Gifs
Gif icons
Formatted text
Whatever my partner is using
My own style regardless of my partner’s reply ( i'll usually match paragraph structure + text size of my partner but very rarely i can't be bothered alsdkjlg. )
I will ship with _______
No one
Anyone
Chemistry
Select ships
OCs
Others of my own muse (this goes for dark x daisuke, not just dai x dai (or dark+dark) too. i don't do any of that romantically ever ❌)
Crossovers with characters from different fandoms
Only one version of a particular character
One person in my main verse
Multiship, all ships independent of each other & main ship
One main/canon ship within my main verse
My blog WILL contain ______ in its content
Fluff
Light fluff
Angst
Gore
Violence
Smut
Blood
Torture
Shipping
Death
Dark humor
Cheating
Assault
I will follow ______ back
Everyone
Only some people
Most people
Only people in my fandom
Every RP blog
Only people I actively wish to RP with
People who do not post a lot of OOC (i love ppl who can't stop talking ooc abt their muses actually, but i don't like too much random irrelevant content, esp if it's untagged)
People whose posts I am comfortable with on my dashboard
To RP with me, you should _______
Follow back
Answer an open
Message me OOC (i'm very very spotty and slow/negligent with ooc messages due to my bad eye health/short free time timeframes so it helps to skip small talk if you message me specifically through ims or discord!)
Message me IC (i try to at least get my inbox completely free and clean asap, so asks are always your best bet if u want the fastest response to something!)
Make a starter (as long as we're mutuals, random starters are completely ok! tag me in whatever whenever. )
Answer my starter
Send in a meme
Like a starter call (i don't usually reblog memes or make starter calls! i do try to like others' calls though and sometimes send in memes or random unprompted asks! i often respond IC-ly a lot to replies on my posts! if you reply to a reply i make on your post IC-ly, (or otherwise tbh) i will probably turn it into a proper interaction thread!)
Plot with me
Other:
I practice reblog karma with memes
I expect reblog karma with memes
I expect my rules/about to be read
I always read the rules/about before following/interacting
If you follow me, I would like my triggers tagged
I expect all smut to be beneath a read-more
I am multi-muse (i kind of am, kind of am not, but i don't reaaaally consider myself one due to the bizarre way dark and daisuke.... well. work. 'i don't get it' appearances and superficials aside they're genuinely the same character, have the same motivations, conflicts and inner feelings about themselves, bonding with one is bonding with the other, relationships or dynamics can potentially end up repeating if you treat them separately as a duo instead of a whole single unit, which is ehhh to me. if that makes sense!)
I do not wish for my OOC posts to be reblogged
I do not wish for my threads to be reblogged by those not involved
I expect post length effort to be matched
I expect icons/gifs to be used in a reply if I have used them
I don’t expect post length to be matched, but I will try to match your own.
I am patient when waiting for replies and expect the same courtesy. (you can also just drop stuff whenever forever! i dont mind at all. alternatively if there's something you want to see moved along, feel free to tell me you're dying to continue a certain thread/scenario and i'll push it to the top of my priorities✨)
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anime-and-i · 11 months
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Thoughts on AOT and its’ finale.
These are MY own opinions. You’re free to agree or disagree. Also AOT spoiler warning obviously!
1. Marley arc was stupid as hell
After establishing the main cast and basically who we’re supposed to be rooting for in the first half of the series, it was so dumb to now add these irrelevant annoying new characters. Literally audiences wait years to see familiar faces and then you throw in some irrelevant fucks into the mix. Suddenly we’re supposed to be cool with seeing the lives of these Xenophobic bigots. I understand the whole “showing that there’s two sides of war” thing and also revealing more of why everything played out how it did so far. However, the Marley citizens were always shown as racist to the Eldians. Not a single instance of anyone feeling bad for Eldians or having some common sense like “why tf are we even doing this?”. It was just them victimizing themselves for something that happened like 100 years ago. And the rest of them were always on some “oh man I just want this to end; I don’t like war; I wanna go see my family UwU” after they come back from depriving Eldians (who’ve had their memory erased) of their own families. Maybe if we acc saw them showing some remorse for their actions I’d be more inclined to hear their side out. Reiner was having some split personality thing going on. He should’ve been inside a therapist’s office for the remainder of the series. But literally none of the other characters are ever like “shit I’m doing something bad to someone”. Even if they were shown thinking it in the back of their heads it would make me more inclined to like them. The only Marley folks I acc liked were Falco, Zophia and that kid with glasses they hung out with. They seemed normal despite the brainwashing so idk wtf Gabi’s problem was.
2. Ymir (not the og one)
Suddenly having a conscience after not giving a fuck the entire time, when the main cast needed her the most (esp Historia) was pure garbage. I get the author tryna keep the mystery of the titans and warriors going until later on but her going back with Reiner and Bert-whatever tf his name was- is pure and utter horseshit. She wasn’t a warrior kid so she didn’t have to answer to anyone! She could’ve gone back with the corps members and explained everything about the outside world right then and there and lived out the rest of her days with Historia idk. It would’ve been better if she died tryna save Historia or one of the corps members or something. Then the jaw Titan goes to a random Eldian and Marley can’t use it. Absolute garbage plot line. Her also not explaining to Eren wtf is going was bs too.
3. Warriors did not deserve a happy ending
ESP the RBA trio. Idc if they lived or died tbh but the one thing they shouldn’t have gotten was what they wanted the most: to see their families again. Their parents didn’t deserve it either. This is what they get for sending their kids off to war bunch of shit for brains. The best ending would’ve been when their parents got turned into titans, Annie and Reiner either get eaten by them or have to kill them. No happy reunion for any of these “honorary Marley” shits.
4. Pieck (however u spell it)
She should’ve faced some consequences and then died. Literally one of the most bland characters in the series. The only thing she had going for herself was that weird one-sided rivalry thing with Yelena and even that dissipated. Very irrelevant and not the strongest Titan idk how her boring ass survived. Also she has no remorse for any of her crimes either. She gassed Connie’s village and turned those folks into titans. Her backstory is boring. We already got a sad dad story from Annie. Ugly ass Titan and also tried to lecture Yelena about her crimes. Glad Yelena put her in her place tho. Along with the rest of the ppl at the campfire. Best ending for pieck would’ve been if she accidentally killed gabi. One of the kids she cared about so much died to her hands and not the enemy’s. Maybe it would’ve given her character some needed development.
5. Zeke
should’ve put up more of a fight and then gotten beheaded by Levi. Idc about his tragic backstory. He stole a troop member’s gear and let him get eaten by titans alive. Him looking down on the troops, risking their lives going against his Goliath baboon ass, sealed the deal for why he deserved a gruesome death; not one where he practically offers his head on a silver platter to get sliced.
6. Gabi should’ve died after shooting eren.
Pain in the ass character. Tell me how she shot Sasha and then continued to go around Paradise calling eldians devils and her ass doesn’t die. Her character is supposed to be like “oh look some bigot learns that the thing they hate the most is bc they don’t know about it well enough and then they stop hating it once they learn”. Okay well Marley isn’t about to stop conflict bc an Eldian kid had a change of heart and told them about it. Plot wise, prick should’ve killed her inside her ugly ass cart Titan mouth.
7. Original Ymir
should’ve had more of a dialogue. Her being in love with that creep ass stupid head Fritz was such a weird way to define her character as the founder. She should’ve had a Historia moment where she’s finally free and done with everyone’s bs and actually vocalizes that to the Eldians inside the Paths.
8. The Rumbling should’ve ended all of humanity and the only survivor (that we know of) should’ve been a random kid. Make Erwin’s words true: “The only time humans will stop fighting is when there’s one human left”. The 80% cop-out AND the warrior parents surviving? Absolutely not.
9. King Fritz’s soul should’ve been put into his own nightmare realm at the end; designed by Ymir.
Things I acc liked about the series:
1. When Eren first becomes a Titan and the audience feels like there’s hope for the cast.
2. When they overthrow the false king and establish a new government.
3. Hange.
4. Erwin (esp his long shot plans).
5. Levi (esp when he beats the shit out of zeke).
6. Falco.
7. Yelena- only fault was being a Zeke stan.
8. Armin- excluding all the weird Annie shit.
9. Historia after breaking the Titan syringe. That entire scene was so good.
10. The owl guy. He seemed okay.
11. That one pure Titan that acc looked kinda hot.
12. Dina’s last line to Grisha. It was so sweet :(
13. Eren unlocking his coordinate ability. Loved that whole scene.
14. Kaya almost murdering Gabi. It was done so well.
15. Niccolo giving that rage speech and saying “…yeah well I acc loved that girl who was one of these hellspawn devils”. The raw emotion was so well conveyed.
16. Yelena shooting that one dude when he started insulting Sasha.
17. Pixis shooting off into space after tasting some boar steak. It’s not part of the official plot line but that ova was so funny.
18. The aot chibi series
19. How strong the writing and plot was for aot during the first 4 seasons.
20. Hange and Levi trying to make the MP dudes rat out info and they make the second guy read the funniest shit on paper.
21. Hange making pigeon sounds after Eren in Titan form nods to her command.
22. Sasha becoming an actual demon after she senses food.
23. Etc.
This was very therapeutic for me. Ever since I finished this series, it left me feeling disappointed, dissatisfied, and anxious. I’m glad I wrote all this out; I can make peace with this show finally.
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vanillatalc · 8 months
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today was alright for most of it then it took a turn for the worse later on lol
ben came home from work after another attack of Sad (he walked throug the door crying + stayed sad for a few hrs, i think the length of sad attacks are lessesning which is good), i am kind of at a loss as to how to help tbh bc it's so out of my remit to be like super sad after the end of a big social thing like as ive said before im fully delighted to be back to my normal life + am waiting hopefully until i can take all the wedding cards down to be honest!!! like genuinely if anyone has any ideas on how to combat the "post-wedding blues" (as google calls it, but i think that's such a gross phrase lol but just like "emotional hangover after extreme life event that you've been planning for over a yr etc etc) pls do feel free to message either anon or not idc. i have tried to be as helpful as i can be but i think people with similar experiences might be useful bc i cannot state enough how pleased i am it's all over lmfao
later on we went on a pokemon walk and it REALLY went downhill later bc (boring pokemon go stuff incoming) my daily incense lured a fucking articuno, insane, then it ran away after one throw (with a golden razz berry AND an ultra ball) and i was just like :| then like half an hr later we did a raid w/ our friends jelly + hali and i didnt catch the pokemon with 16 fucking balls it just jumped out every single time. it was unreal. i used a golden razz on every single throw too. the others all managed to capture it as well which tbh only increased my rage like i know its just a game obviously lol but it was just really fucking annoying lmao i was so incensed i just went mute for half an hr or whatever and ben (who had cheered up by this point) was just like shall i leave you alone for a bit :) and i was like yup :|
THEN we were gonna watch x files in bed bc ben loves it so we went to log into my disney+ and it just would not work, ben found the saved pw on his firefox, wouldnt work, i got them to send me a login reset with a 6-figure code, i input the code they sent me, they were like "that's not the right code"! and it was just. oh my fucking gOPFDGJKFDKJKJGFDJK ben found it elsewhere in the end
idk man im worried about ben + feeling fed up myself + just generally feeling like :| fuck you pokemon go for real i just needed them and you wouldnt let me have them
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lord-shitbox · 1 year
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entire ask game. send me asks too or ill bite you really ahrd
assuming you said this for the 'weirder asks' game. godbless
who is/are your comfort character(s)?
Gozu and mezu
lighter or matches?
I like lighters more but i only have a matchbox (the striking paper on it is shit anyways)
do you leave the window open at night?
ye
which cryptyd being do you believe in?
none
what color are your eyes?
brown
why did you do that?
do wot
hair-ties or scrunchies?
Hair ties
how many water bottles are in your room right now?
None. 2 glasses and a mason jar though 
which do you prefer, hot coffee or cold coffee?
Cold. on ice
would you slaughter the rich?
Idc about killing them i just want their wealth redistributed
favorite extracurricular activity?
Fucking around at the grocery store en masse
what kind of day is it?
Did not do a single piece of schoolwork but i did every other possible task
when was the last time you ate?
Within the hour. Had a bowl of rice on my desk
do you love the smell of earth after it rains?
ya
are you a parent? (all answers qualify)
no
can you drive?
no
are you farsighted or nearsighted?
nearsighted
what hair products do you use?
none
imagine we’re at a sleepover, would you paint my nails?
If you want me to ya
do you say soda or pop?
soda
something you’ve kept since childhood?
A lot of things. Stuffed animals, jewelry
what type of person are you?
chilling
how do you feel about chilly weather?
👍 but i prefer mild temperatures. The kind of just-barely cold that isnt really cold. I don’t like wearing lots of clothes
if we were together on a rooftop, what would we be doing?
Depends on who you are. for u specifically, probly not much
perfume/body spray or lotion?
Mmmm…i dont own any body spray but i have mixed feelings about the texture of lotion. It’s not actually that bad but i don’t like putting wet stuff on me (same genre of sensory dislike as wearing lots of clothing)
a scenario that you’ve replayed multiple times?
Uh.. like daydream? There’s one i used to have but its really really edgy and embarrassing 
about how many hours of sleep did you get?
Last night, 12. On weekdays its like 6
do you wear a mask?
No sorry
how do you like your shower water?
warm
is there dishes in your room?
Yes leave me alone
what type of music keeps you grounded?
Heavy stuff. Like fast and hard noises. Nothing slow
do you have a favorite towel?
yeah
the last adventure you’ve been on?
Went 2 bowser movie wth an extended group of people last night and afterwards we walked to winco and did funny things in shopping carts
is there a song you know every word to by heart?
Tbh…no. Im really good at remembering song lyrics in general but i dont think there are any in particular i memorize
what’s your timezone?
Doxx me why don’t you
how many times have you changed your url?
Never <3
someone in your life, other than a relative, you’ve known for 10+ years?
Uhh.. not really? Am not in much contact with childhood close friends (theres one ive seen a few times recently but we haven’t actually talked). I believe i’ve known tuna for upcoming 8yrs though
a soap bar that smells good?
I dont like bar soap i like the liquid kinds. Old spice
do you use lip balm?
During dry lip season (i forget when this is) my lips get dry as fuck 
did you have any snacks today?
ye
how do you take your coffee?
With ice and chocolate in it
an app you frequently use besides this godforsaken site?
Discord & instagram 
what’s your take on spicy foods?
yum (reasonable spice tolerance)
you get a free pass to kill anyone, who is it?
Nobody…i hate some people 2 death (i dont think about them so i forget who they are) but theyre not bothering me rn so idc
can you remember what happened yesterday?
Bowser moive
favorite holiday film?
Year without a santa claus (IM MR FREEZE MISER)
what was the last message you sent?
“so far i think the only red text thats restricted to origin is mhin's”
when did you first try an alcohol beverage?
Idk ive had sips in young youth. Parents would give me some so i could go “wow this tastes nasty” and not crave any ever (they were right for this)
can you skip rocks?
I may have done it successfully like twice in my life
can i tag you in random stuff?
Ya sure
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tamedgod · 1 year
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  i. this is an independent multimuse rp blog for my ocs; includes my half-cat scout and the god of death. this blog is very lore heavy and has its own map, timeline, and overarching story. it is multiverse as well if you don’t wish to partake in the main world’s events, and all verses are listed with info. i am very adaptable to other fandoms and simply want to write!
  ii. this blog is not selective -- i’ll write with anyone -- but i don’t always follow back. this is for genuine ocd purposes, as when the number of people i follow is above or below a very very specific count, i have a full blown mental meltdown. it is not personal if i don’t follow you, please feel free to send memes or like my starter calls if you want to interact!
  iii. i have an active discord for those who would like to hang out or plot there. it is available for anyone interested, just ask me! i like to rp there as well.
  iv. my name is madeline; howdy! i’m 28, in the usa, on est timezone. you can use whatever pronouns you want for me, idc. this blog is currently my only active one, but i can be sporadic due to my job and fluctuating energy/mental health levels. if you like animals we’re best friends already tbh.
  v. links: rules & basic info | promo | memes
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miwtual · 6 months
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i can’t think of a single album but infamous so that’s what u get. talk to me abt infamous
ty acey <3
the first song from this album I heard: im fairly certain it was america but im not entirely sure bc it was. many years ago at this point HSJBHDKFJ
do I own the album?: i dont :( i so badly want to tho
my favorite song: its from the deluxe edition but idc its fatal i love that one so much. from the og tho i think it'd have to be either devil's night or burned at both ends!!
my least favorite song: i honestly cannot think of one but if i have to put someone at the bottom.... idk. underdog. even tho that doesnt feel right thats the only one coming to mind for this question
a song I didn’t like at first, but now do: im ngl i only liked america at first because of the mv and not bc of the song ? if that makes sense. secret kai lore <3
a song I used to like, but now don’t: i dont have one with this album (or any miw album tbh)
my favorite lyric: i have a few but one that comes to mind immediately is burned at both ends "nothing is like it was before / i know not who i am anymore / chasing something that's behind me / when will i be set free?"
overall rating out of 10: fixation brain says 100000/10. but as a real rating, i think a solid 7/10
send me an album!
0 notes
savnofilter · 11 months
Note
i know it's been years since the bnha drama you had to go through in 2020, but i wanted to say that i've thought about really it for years and years and i was on your side for when it happened. i still remain on your side, and i hope you were given proper apologies from yk who and their defenders. you most likely never want to think about it again, but i hope you know that what you did mattered. i think about it really from time to time remembering how the internet was so eager to go against a bunch of teens and how cruel it was really at the time. i know you endured a lot of hate for it, and i hope you're doing better now!
let's be real here, aint nun of them ever apologized to me and never will. it's pretty evident how past the few troll hate asks i got recently, everything is 100% lbh and them and it's not made up cuz apparently mfs think i send hate to myself LOL.
atp idc cuz everyone else ive ever had a problem with that werent part of their circle or used to be, ive actually amended and made up with. but thank you for this, it def doesnt effect me like it did back in the day (idky i aged myself like that). i definitely am better now! mentally, emotionally (i think; im stunted there if we're being quite honest) and overall i love life. i love everything in it like im just chilling... if anything that whole thing made me realize that i was limiting myself being on here 24/7 and straining myself worrying ab shit that didnt need to be worried ab.
so even if i took the L and there are so many fake fuckass niggas on this site (or left) who said they know ab whats happened but still fuck with nonces they can go die like the rest of them. 🖕🏽 it's truly disappointing how cowardly most are to refuse the idea of not supporting someone simply bc they wanna read degenerate bakugo fanfic. i would be lying if i wasnt honest on how hurt i really was when ppl also lied on my name saying i did shit i never did or the fact that no shade no tea, anonie, getting asks like this and then crickets publicly. and to that if there are more recent victims or ppl effected by her and her friends actions you deserve it!!!! lol.
im apathetically bitter but im just glad i can finally talk my shit on my blog LOL. i used to be so scared of talking ab what was really going on, walking on eggshells bc i still wanted to be seen as just funny little Sav who makes borderline crack fics. i am not one to sub a bitch, imma call you out your name but yk who tf im talking ab!! it feels good to be free to speak ab what i want, not feeling pressured to conform to ideologies i dont agree with (proship, dark content, politics etc etc). so tbh im very happy with the outcome. bc at the end of the day i know i spoke nothing but the truth and even with no support i can sleep at night knowing i got no skeletons in my closet. i own to the things i do, i will admit when im wrong and i love to grow as a person. i speak my truth and dont need everyone to agree with it or debate me. 🤷🏽‍♀️
also yall choose your friends wisely. use your intuition. dont ignore that gut feeling and dont fw ppl yk do shitty things. you will get caught up in it, and thats past tumblr cesspool drama advice. it's very tempting to be that bad person. it's tempting to do whatever you want but everything has a consequence.. everything you put out, you receive back.
n ik im not mf saint either bitch ☠️ cuz i made a choice at 14 y.o joining this site, i was either gonna be some wholesome pushover or a bitch. i took the latter, did the time and now ive learned that i dont need to be rude or a bully in order to be assertive. that having respect for yourselves and others doesnt mean to be unnecessarily mean to mfs who DONT deserve it. everything just feels like a life lesson tbvh. im gonna keep arguing with niggas online cuz i eat everyone up even when im outnumbered. 🥴 but to everyone who genuinely deserves an apology from me has received it and likewise. and that's all i can ask for.
tldr; ive learned a lot, that time was very sucky but we up. 🤪🤳🏽
p.s shoutout to ms gworl @/mci bc she kept me in check and helped me a lot. no bum on this site will ever compare to her at all. oh yeah and i will talk ab the callout any chance i get so neva tell me to let it go!! <3
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recklessmoon · 7 years
Text
märchen starters
Taken from Defade’s english translations, use these as you’d like! May imply triggering content additionally because of the nature of the album. I’ve included lines from the prequel album IdoIdo too!! Have fun! Feel free to edit where neeeded. Placed under cut for length.
“And history alone remained..”
“Hey! Something’s dropped beside the well!”
“There…watch your steps.”
“Are you doing okay? Not scared?”
“Well, I’ll bring you to a nice spot today. Let’s go!”
“Sins require punishment.”
“This deserted village…is just like a graveyard…ufufu…”
“[Insert Name], fairytales always begin from the graveyard.”
“Come here to me.”
“Dig me out...”
“Such a tragic era.”
“The goal of life is to survive.”
“The goal of life is to multiply.”
“Hey! Young mister/miss!”
“Mother/Father! I’m back!”
“Welcome hom..…who are those men?”
“Don’t scream like a pig! You’re disgusting to look at!”
“Don’t make this so hard on us!”
“That brilliant era in which you’re smiling now, without hating anyone or regretting death, let’s meet there for sure.”
“I’ll kill you…”
“I wanted a friend, but I had no idea what that was…”
“Until I met you, I didn’t know the color of loneliness, nor the meaning of love…”
“I’ll put a flower in your hair.”
“Really? Make it look cute, okay!”
“Let’s go over there next time!”
“I’d like to say goodbye to my friend at least.”
“I will be the last one to bear darkness. Please go into the light…”
“[Insert name]…you’ll definitely come for me, right?”
"Come, your [father/mother/ect] is waiting.”
“Why…why wouldn’t you accept this child as a successor to this house..!”
“That topic is closed and done with.”
“I don’t want to hear it, [Insert name].”
“Is it because I’m a concubine….no, is it because this child is disabled?”
“[Insert Name]….I deeply feel for you, so much that it hurts. However I will not forgive you.”
“Aren’t you cold, [Insert Name]?”
“[Insert Name], the light is warm!”
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, so sorry…”
“Even if I pray to God, my cries will never reach.”
“So I’ll embrace my sins and cease my prayers.”
“Lady/Milord [Insert Name], please remain strong!”
“You standing there, can you hear me? Then come here to me….and dig me out!”
“Kill the witch! Kill [Insert Name]!”
“You should just die!”
“Look! ….look at this comedy! Then I shall become a true 《witch》 that curses the world!”
“[Insert Name], even if you fell into hell, I’d still love you.”
“This story is fiction”
“But that doesn’t mean everything is made up.”
“『Who』 am I?”
“Ufufu…I love you, [Insert Name]. Now we’ll be together forever and ever, right? Ahahahaha!”
“Let’s take revenge, okay?” 
“It’s too late for laments.”
“Now that death has come, no matter how many regrets you have, it’s too late.”
“My [lady/lord/ect], you are alone, a corpse wandering the paths of night.”
“Come, sing for me…”
“I feel like I once loved someone.”
“I feel like I’ve been loved by someone as well…”
“It’s just your imagination.”
“I didn’t want to perish here.”
“[Boy/Girl/Child/ect], I can say the same of you, right?”
"Don’t you still have things left to do on earth?”
“The time is ripe. Come [boy/girl/child/ect], take me into yourself.”
“They killed me…they stole my future…”
I won’t let them…live on…without judgment…
“Gooooodbye! Ahahahahaha!”
“Now, come again once you’ve died a noble death.”
“Let’s continue our revenge forever and ever!”
“Helping those fools get their revenge is how we’ll get ours.”
“We can go on forever like this, because human beings can’t help but hate each other! Ahahahahaha..!!!”
“Get out! Get out!”
“Witch! Witch!”
“You’re disgusting!” 
“Don’t follow us!”
“But still, [Insert Name], I was happy.  Did you know why? Because you were with me.”
“Life has its ups and downs.”
“It’s stale bread, but did it match your tastes?”
 “I can eat this forever!”
“[Madam/Sir/Ect.], do you not know who I am?”
“What are you babbling about...?”
“My prayers don’t reach.”
“So that’s how you were sacrificed? Even against your will…”
“I understand the sad feelings of abandoned children, painfully so.”
“The breadcrumbs are…getting eaten!”
“Hey [insert name],  that’s an interesting bird!”
“Look, [Insert Name]. There’s a house over there!”
“But [Insert name], that might be a scary witch’s house…still.”
“Is anyone here?”
“This is delicious! [Insert Name], you have some too!” 
“Yeah, it’s delicious, [brother/sister/ect]!”
“Delicious! [Insert Name] if you’re not going to eat, let me have your portion!”
It’d be B-A-D if we don’t kill [her/him/them/ect] before [[her/him/them/ect] kills us!
“You won’t be able to eat us
“You’re great, [Insert Name]! Now the witch’s finished!”
“Yep, the evil witch was burnt, and now all treasure Belongs to us!”
“So every lonely old woman who live in the forest are witches.”
“Geez, children are such shameless liars. I hate them!”
“People can only be saved by faith”
“This is for the village!” 
“We’re gonna come back!” 
“It’s a war in name only, a true massacre”
“And I was sold t’ a faraway city.”
“What now~?♡”
“Geez, shut it!”
“Watch your mouth!”
“Ahhh shit!”
“There you are! Where were you!?”
“I’m sick of that, sick of being poor and hungry.”
I don’t want to feel miserable like that again!”
“I tried my hardest to live, but nothin’ ever went my way.
So in the end, what’s up with life…I don’t get it…”
“Give me back my liver.”
“I see, so that’s how you were hung.”
“Mirror, o mirror…who is the fairest in this world?”
“Nooo!! Don’t come here, geezer!”
“I didn’t really…want to do this.”
“Then why did you?”
“[Princess/Prince/Your Majesty], I can’t defy the [queen/king/ect].”
“Please, spare me!”
“Princess, I find it hard to kill you myself.”
“Then I promise you, I’ll never go back to the castle!”
You! Who the hell are you?”
“Stop screwing around! Where’s [Insert Name]?”
“I have no obligation to tell an imbecile like you.”
“I’m sorry, [m’am/sir/ect]. I can’t let anyone inside the house…”
I’ll give you one of these red, ripe apples[apfel], here you go!”
“I’m sorry, m’am. I don’t need it. I can’t take anything…”
“I’m diggin in!” 
“I see. So that’s how you were deceived?
“Wait for your fated other in the world of dreams...”
“Where is my ideal bride/groom?”
“You, dead while looking asleep within the closed glass are more beautiful than anyone else. I’ve finally found you!”
“[Insert Name], will you give me that corpse?”
“Now, those fools are going to mess up soon, are you prepared, my [princess/prince/ect]?”
“Make sure you carry it carefully.”
“If your sin was being jealous of them, wear burning boots and dance until you die!”
“What is that? Can’t you dance any better?”
“Good grief.”
“Oh? So you fell in as well?”
“This should be our first meeting, so where is this mysterious familiarity coming from…”
“Whatever.”
“Do you want to get kicked out? You dullard!?”
“But I’m working hard today as well, [daddy/mommy/ect!]!”
“Do you want me to tell on you? You dullar!”
“ If you don’t get it back, no dinner for you tonight!
“I see, you’re a pretty miserable but energetic child.”
“If you’re unsure about your revenge, I’ll give you some time.”
“ Am I dead? Is this heaven? Or my imagination? I don’t know.”
“Shoo-bee-doo-bee-doo-bee-doo♪”
“If you ever want to meet winter, just tell me ♥”
““That’s a reward for all the work you’ve done.”
“Don’t hesitate to take it.”
“See, your lazy attitude is your sin, you reap what you sow!”
“Hey, why don’t you work hard from now on!”
“No! I can’t get this off! It’s not coming off!”
“My, my, isn’t that nice. It fits you, [Insert Name]”
“Why is this happening to a good kid like you!?”
“The reason I sleep, embraced by wild roses…”
“Good evening to you all, a fine one indeed.”
“Watch your mouth!”
“The [princess’/princes’/ect] destiny is to live for fifteen years. Let [her/him/them/ect] be pricked by a spindle, fall on the floor and die!”
“So only time will tell which of us holds the greater power…”
“I’m so excited…”
“I see, so that’s why you were embraced by wild roses.”
“Do you want a kiss leading towards your awakening?”
“But too bad, I’m not your prince charming!”
“I heard a wonderful rumor.”
“I’ll overcome any kind of hardship!”
“Now, [princess/prince/ect]. Are you prepared?”
“Listen to this! I couldn’t really get any sleep recently.”
“Oh my, lack of sleep is bad for your skin.”
“How many times do I have to say it before you get it through that head of yours, brat! I’m really gonna beat you up!”
“Give it up, you chicken.”
“You already beat me up, didn’t ya, boss~
“How  dare you curse a noble [princess/[prince/ect]!”
“You are the arrogant one!”
“Don’t even think you could ever step foot on this land again!”
“[Insert Name]! Don’t ever forget this! I’ll leave you with another curse as a parting gift!
“That [woman/man/person/ect] really takes advantage of every situation.”
“Hurting a woman’s pride leads to disastrous results, huh.”
“With what kind of face did I smile? With what kind of voice did I sing…?”
“Why…is my favorite…white…[fave outfit]…so…red…?”
“That’s right I was killed…by [her/him/them]…!”
“But I can’t fake it anymore, because I loved [her/him/them] more than anyone else”
“Who was the one embraced and loved in the depths of your eyes?”
“Dear! Stop it!” 
“You want forgiveness!? Knee!”
“Hey, what’s wrong? You’re not your normal self?”
“Sit, you pig!”
“Ahahaha…now, go on your journey!”
“I’m sorry, please stop!”
“That’s right! Cry! Yell!”
“It’s painful…”
“No matter how much I prayed in faith, salvation wasn’t bestowed…”
“I won’t forgive those ungrateful pigs who judged you as a witch!”
“A wonderful treasure is hidden in the forbidden room of the golden key…”
“Women truly seek embrace for their souls, not their bodies
“Oh? So you disobeyed me.” 
“Alright. If you want to see it that badly, I’ll give it to you. You’ll be the new residence in that room today.”
“You’re a sinful [man/woman/ect], but you’re my beloved too.”
“No! Please, let me say my prayers before I die, at least.” 
“Hatred will not bring healing to sadness.”
“Let’s put an end to your comedy!”
“Save me, [brother/sister/ect], come-!”
“Are you done yet? Hurry up!”
“I can’t wait any longer!”
“What? Damn, you monster!”
“Revenge might be a twisted form of love.”
“Still, why can’t humans separate love from lust? How disgusting. Ahahahaha!”
“Even now, I don’t forget.”
“Even now, I can’t remember.”
“No, [brother/sister/ect], I have no intention of marrying anyone!”
“If I have to live on while faking love then I don’t mind dying with the truth.”
“[Insert Name]. You and [Mother/Father/Ect] even faked your identities to protect [her/him/them], and this is how it ends.”
“Hahahaha! Crucify that foolish [girl/boy/person].”
“I see. So that’s how you were crucified.”
“You did well in following your own will till the very end.”
“But would he really have wished for that at the cost of your own life?”
“No. I don’t want any of that”
“Everyone has their own circumstances and fates to bear.”
“You came to see me. That’s more than enough for me..”
“Hey, do you really not remember? Those days that seem so bright even now…”
“[Insert Name], you kept your promise, didn’t you? Even going that far...
“But… I don’t regret this at all, for this is my life.”
“Neither (《A Noble Lady》[von Wettin] Insert Something here!  ), nor (《The Daughter of the 7 th Elector》[von Sachsen] Insert something here!), I am [Insert Name].”
“Just the one who loved only you… Just【(Insert Name here!】”
“What now, [Insert name], you’ve been acting strange since a while ago. What’s wrong?
You can’t take that [woman/man/ect]’s words seriously! Let’s just forget about [her/him/them]!”
“That’s the reason for our existence, isn’t it!?
“Aaaaaaah! For crying out loud! Why won’t you understand?! Mär, you blockhead!
“It’s alright, [Insert Name]…”
“I’ve always wanted to live through the same times with you.”
“Born in a time of darkness, I met you.”
“Our attracting feelings do not cease even after death.”
“The animals in the forest…”
“It’s good.”
“Okay, I’ll work hard!”
“I’m so excited.”
“A treasure is hidden…”
You kept your promise.”
“Our time is already over.”
“Please smile In place of tears, in place of hatred, In place of partings…”
"And we will continue to circle about.”
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officiallyashley · 2 years
Text
—about me!
Heya! Welcome to my blog! My name is Ashley, but I mostly go by Ash or Ashkele (that’s ash-kee-lee btw). I write fanfics for a multitude of fandoms, and I have been writing stories for 10 years now (can’t believe it’s been that long holy shit). I reblog stuff, as well! You’re welcome to send in asks about my ocs or other stuff, if you want. I’m down to chat. Keep in mind that I’m in school, so uploads may not be super consistent. Also, this is a chill, judgment-free zone where we can all vibe and hang out, so let’s not have any negativity here, kk? With that being said, I hope you enjoy my content on my blog!
Random Facts About Ash;
My first fandoms were vocaloid, creepypasta, and sonic the hedgehog! I’m still in those fandoms to this day!
I am a part of the lgbt+ community and I’m proud of it! I go by multiple terms, so I’ll just condense it a bit: I identify with greyromantic, panromantic, demiflux, and polyamorous to name a few. I mainly use she/her or they/them pronouns, but tbh, as long as I’m being addressed with feminine leaning or gender-neutral pronouns idc.
With my writing, I aim to add in topics that need more awareness around them. I like to write about topics that challenge some of the social norms of today and even from the past.
Outside of writing, my hobbies are singing, writing songs, making book covers/aesthetics/banners for my fanfics, true crime, watching anime, reading, and hanging out with my friends.
My aesthetics that represents my fashion would be grunge, goth, skater girl, and emo.
My favorite artists I would say are Linkin Park, Avril Lavigne, Black Veil Brides, Evanescence, Icon For Hire, The Pretty Reckless to name a few. I'm not gonna lie, I also really like Britney Spears and Aaliyah— I'm a total early 2000s kid!
I'm an INFJ :)
My favorite shows outside of anime are Steven Universe, SonicSATAM, Thundercats OG & 2011, Adventure Time, The Amazing World of Gumball, and Regular Show. I could list more, since I grew up on shows that were on the EARLY DAYS of Cartoon Network (you know, when CN was known as Boomerang. yeah.), but then we'd be here all day, so I'll leave it at that.
I have a Wattpad, Fanfiction.net, Quotev, and an AO3 account. I have multiple Wattpad accounts, and I have been on the app for a very very long time, but the main one I am utilizing currently is called AshuraElaineDragneel. My Quotev account is officiallyashley. Here is my AO3 account, AshleighVioletLouise248, and here is my Fanfiction.net account, polyforluffyzoroandsanji. I have been on all of these websites for a very long time, and I am in the process of transferring my stories onto these platforms, so not everything will be on there (and there will be more content on some sites than others). I have written a shit ton, and I'm adding my works from 2020-present day onto my profiles on these sites, so it's going to be a while until everything is on there because I'm going through years of content (so please be patient knowing that, and, ya know, life gets busy, as well.) If these links don't work, please message me and I'll try and have it fixed as quickly as possible.
I just made a Twitter account as of 03-21-23! It’s called @officiallyash24. You’ll know it’s me bc I have the same profile pic and background pic as I do here on tumblr.
If I need to or if I feel like I need to add something, then I will. I'm not trying to make this simple "about me" post something so complicated and shit like that. I just wanted to put something here that gives everyone some more knowledge of who I am. The Masterlist is currently being constructed. Also, since I reblog a shit ton of stuff, search up the tag #ashwrites if you’re interested in my fanfictions!
also, don’t interact with this blog if you’re homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist, and all that other shit. i won’t hesitate to block your ass from my blog if i discover that someone is one of those things. another thing — please credit me if you take inspiration from one of my fanfics (also, i would love to see what you would do with that inspiration). if you’re someone that’s reading fanfics on YouTube and you want to read one of my works, all you have to do is ask me! as always, just credit me and leave a link to my tumblr page. please notify me if you realize that someone has stolen any of my stories. seriously, don’t steal people’s stuff, it’s not that hard to credit the original creator.
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himbo-buckley · 4 years
Text
The Big Buddie for Dummies Guide
Hello party people and welcome to whatever this was supposed to be!
Quite a while ago I got an ask by someone about doing a guide on all the canon indicators for Buddie to explain the ship to non-shippers and about 5 anxiety attacks and four weeks later, I finally did it!
So read, enjoy, reblog, validate, disagree!
Also here are some notes before we get started:
Buddie has been around a while now and there are some incredibly people writing about them and doing meta posts for them, some of which I asked for their opinion which I will link at the end and some of which I am quoting in a way / have been inspired by (Also feel free to send me all and every post related and I will link it in the text as I will try to do the same)
This Guide is organised by the following themes we find in the show with Buddie: trust - coparenting - connection and love life - subtext
I’m not gonna lie, this is incomplete af because tbh? There is so much stuff that can be interpreted as evidence for Buddie but this is too long already so I left some stuff out, I hope ya’ll don’t mind … (also the reblog  option exists for reason, just add on what I missed, I’m not gonna bite!)
I’m gonna assume the person who reads this has a general understanding of the show and its scenes because I cannot explain every scene down to it’s very detail (I mean I can but that’s another 20000 words worth of meta and not sure anyone wants to read that … again) but I will try and link fitting gifsets (again, send them my way if you feel I should include sth.)
I should also add a warning for the fact that I, personally, think I am hilarious but others might not but fellas, Idc! (Also I cuss, some people don’t like that?)
So let’s get this show on the road then, shall we? I call this meta : „We might end up real close.“
(alternate title: „Buddie stans ship hard but canon ships harder“ or „This is Timbo’s story (of becoming more famous than Joss Whedon) and I’m just it’s vessel“)
Trust
We’re gonna start this off strong (I mean all of them are strong themes) by talking about the biggest theme with Buddie which is trust. It goes all the way back to 2.01 and the gym scene and Buck basically telling Eddie he doesn’t trust him (complaining about Eddie’s comfort level, anyone?) and that he needs to earn that - which rude but also I get it.
In fact there are two main themes which I combined into Trust which begin in 2.01:
„You’re my problem“ and „You can have my back any day“ both of which sort of sum up Buddie, because from the get go Buck decides hey, this guy is my problem and then he proceeds to make everything about Eddie his business. Eddie meanwhile tells Buck he’d love to have him watching his back - meaning Eddie trusts him and wants Buck to be his partner.
(Side note: isn’t it beautiful how that is a complete reverse of their usual attitudes? Usually Buck trusts way to easy and Eddie never does but with each other it’s the opposite!)
Let’s look at the episodes in order, okay?
2.01: „I think I’ve seen this happen in porn before“
- „You’re my problem“: I’m gonna talk about the gym scene later a bit more but this sort of establishes the dynamic Buddie has? Because both are fascinated by and focused on each other from the get go. I mean: Eddie got to the 118 and everyone seemed to be nice to him except this one guy and instead of giving him a few days, thinking he’ll come around , Eddie is like: nah, I’ll confront him! Why? Maybe it’s gay, maybe it’s Maybelline, maybe Eddie „I am not enough“ Diaz was just sick and tired of everyone putting trust in him because soldier and craved the vibe check?
- „You can have my back“: Basically what happened was, they got the bomb out (being partners and in sync even when they didn’t like each other yet) and they stood outside and Eddie tries a new approach cause for some reason Eddie decided out of everyone at the 118 he needed Buck to like him specifically and so he pays the guy - who was nothing but rude to him so far but who is also very competent - a compliment and Buck gets all flustered and thankful - and „You’re my problem!“ gets rephrased into „Or you know, you could have mine!“
(Also the look of pure elation on Buck’s face when Eddie compliments him, you know the person Hen has basically said is so awesome and pretty it transcends sexualities? And he picks Buck of all people to have his back? Buck has no choice but to stan!)
- In terms of Trust we also get the pool scene which is our second instance of them being in sync and partners by both jumping into the pool and getting the guy out basically at the same time
2.02 / 2.03: „Why Edmundo Diaz hates earthquakes part 1 and part 2 (of 2)“
- „Where do you want us, Cap?“: Now looking at the timeline of 2.01 they’ve known each other for approximately four days as this is their fourth shift together (we see) and yet Eddie is already comfortable enough to answer for himself and Buck several times. He’s the one who decides they will go in and he answers the roll call later for the both of them. This is our first real instance of them being in sync and just their whole interaction, from Eddie going along with Buck’s plan about the elevator to everything else just shows how much they already trust each other.
- „I, uh, I love kids“: Also Buck in this episode, why was it so important that Eddie knows you like kids? Please share!
- “Eddie, you’re kid is in the safest place he can be.“: Connected to this is a sub-theme I like to call: ‚They know each other better than anyone else does‘ which is established here with Buck realising that Eddie is full of shit when he pretends not to worry about Chris so Buck spends some time trying to assure Eddie Chris is safe at school.
- „Is everything okay?“: Of course, the fact that Buck was the only one to check in with Eddie’s mental state from the truck scene onwards is very telling, because everyone else likes and trusts him but they don’t really care (yet)
- And the episodes end with everyone reuniting with their families, including Eddie - while Buck watches from the car because Buck drove him there because he has his back (also see Subtext)
2.04: „Hearteyes, motherforker“
This whole episode is what made several people ship Buddie and well, I can see it and I will talk about a lot of it with the other themes but for now:
- „I just feel bad for him. (…) Eddie’s working on it“: This episode really leans into the whole „You’re my problem“ with Buck apparently driving Eddie to the hospital (or at least coming along) to Buck clearing Chris coming to the station with Bobby to worrying about them at home until finally he introduces him to Carla.
Mind you, they haven’t known each other that long, yet Buck feels the need to meddle in Eddie’s life and fix his problems for him which, yes, is very Buck thing to do but still: Considering Eddie was introduced to us as this super capable guy, it’s interesting that Buck immediately saw through him and decided: yeah, that guy needs me to take care of him.
Or you know, to have his back.
2.07: „*Tommy Wiseau voice* Oh, hi Shannon!“
- „I needed someone to have my back“: This episode establishes the significance of „You can have my back“ even more because in this episode Shannon comes back and you know what they fight about? Eddie not having her back. Shannon quite literally says „I needed someone to have my back“ which is almost the same exact  Eddie tells Buck in 2.01 and with that wording as well ...
In the same scene Shannon also says how Eddie always knows best and is the one to make the decisions which  is another parallel you can draw to Buddie where Eddie began like that in 2.01 (the scene at the mechanic’s) and then began to follow Buck’s lead (the elevator shaft) / let Buck help him (Carla))
2.10: „It’s all about ‚figured it was none of my business‘“
I love this episode very much because there are several Buddie hints in there.
- “I think it’s none of our business.“: Connected to the topic of Trust is the scene between Chimney and Buck when they buy the Christmas tree and Buck keeps talking about Shannon coming to the station and the fact that Shannon and Eddie hooked up while Chim seems exasperated by this and frankly doesn’t care and he tells Buck as much, saying it’s none of their business. Except it is because Eddie is Buck’s problem, remember?
- „So … not gonna say anything?“: And then the „None of your / my business“ gets repeated in the scene when Buddie sits at the fountain talking about Chris and Shannon and they both say it’s none of Buck’s business. Yet Eddie then still tells Buck all about it sounding all defensive.
- It’s also the first instance of Eddie willingly searching out Buck’s advice about Christopher.
- And related to the topic of knowing each other well, considering how surprised Buck is by all of this, one sort of has to wonder how often they hang out outside of work. Because the way Buck acts makes one assume it’s quite a lot, which is why Buck is so hurt he doesn’t know about it.
- Also the fact that they so casually go somewhere with Christopher and the way Buck talks about him making it clear they have done this before.
- „Trying to protect your kid.“: On the topic of Trust I also wanna mention the fact that Eddie doesn’t trust Shannon with Christopher. Which is a direct parallel to 3.03 when Eddie tells Buck there is no one he trusts more with his son. And also 3.09 when Buck gets to be back in Chris’s life after the lawsuit as soon as Buddie made up yet Shannon needs to really beg for it? I mean, yeah.
2.13: „ Evan *I colour coordinate with bae while my sister is abducted and my brother is dying* Buckley“
- „Oh, no, I know what you were thinking.“: The scene at the hospital between Buck and Eddie does have a bit of subtextual relevance but I do think we should note the fact that this scene was in the show at all like this because wouldn’t Bobby have made a bit more sense? After all they spent one and a half Season before that making him the guy Buck goes to for advice and he has sisters as well, yet here we get Eddie being the one to talk to Buck.
We get Eddie basically telling Buck exactly what he needed to hear and while not exactly condoning his actions, he is also not judging them. Instead Eddie is telling Buck he might have done the same, because Eddie and Buck know each other and see each other.
So I wouldn’t necessarily call that scene Buddie-hinting but it does definitely play into the whole ‚having each other’s backs‘ and ‚knowing each other well‘ thing they got going on.
Also compare it to 3.06 in the way that both times Buck did something wrong and it was Eddie who actually took the time to listen to Buck’s reasoning and be the one to understand him, which is a very important part of their dynamic.
And the line „I wasn’t worried about that.“ in response to how Buck thought he would get away with all of this might be one of the top 10 heartbreaking lines of this show for me and that is saying a lot with 911!
2.14: „‚It’s a miracle… bro #nohomo’“
I am not fully sure if the scene of Buck freaking out about Eddie going back in to save the kid really fits in here, but I’m also very unsure were else to put it, so Trust it is!
- „Eddie, what are you doing?”: It does fit into the whole having each other’s back thing with Buck immediately jumping into action to try and help Eddie
- But in all honesty prior to 3.14 this would have not made the cut as I would have been like: eh, that’s just who Buck is as a person - but as 3.14 will proof / has proven, he can be calm and collected even when his sister, his ACTUAL family is in danger and while I would argue it was in part because there was less he could do to actively help in 3.14, it still deserves to be mentioned now
- Side note: considering 2.13 / 2.14 and 3.14 / 3.15 this marks two occasions were Buck being worried for Maddie’s life was followed by an episode of Buck being worried for Eddie’s life and that too deserves mentioning
2.18: „insert *Jane Austen film*-gif: It’s about the hands!“
- I’m not really sure if this is really connected to Trust but Eddie holds Buck’s hand the whole time, even after he has dragged him out from under the firetruck until they disappear in the ambulance.
- Also the fact that Eddie, who is probably stronger than Chimney, is the one helping Hen drag Buck out from under the fire truck while Chimney helps lift it is … worth a mention.
- Definitely connected to Trust is Buck’s insistence to going to Eddie’s ceremony because this is Eddie and he has his back
3.01: „How you know he no sleep naked?“
Yes, this scene has a lot to unpack. In terms of *trust* / how well they know each other:
- „He’s just sulking, Cap“: Eddie says about Buck. In my opinion the phrasing combined with how before that they were talking about how Maddie can’t get Buck to leave the house and he won’t answer any of Bobby’s calls implies that either a) Eddie too has tried to contact Buck with no success or b) is actually in contact with Buck, has talked to him and has concluded based on what he saw that Buck is sulking - and yes, I am leaning toward b).
- “Maybe you’ll learn something.“: Which brings me to the fact that it’s Eddie who makes the  plan to get Buck out of his funk and prove to him that he still has stuff to live for, despite how dismissive he had been about Buck’s feelings before, calling it sulking and saying Buck should just brush it off. Because Eddie has Buck’s back despite it all and is there for him and trusts him.
- „He’s hanging out with his Buck today“: In terms of actual Trust there is the fact that Buck is very much depressed in this episode - and what does Eddie do? Puts his son in his care, you know, the most important person in Eddie’s life, convinced that Buck will be able to take care of him despite how low and bad he is feeling about himself. One) because it has been the case for Eddie probably. Two) because this is who Buck is as a person even while depressed and Eddie trusts that. And three) because even before the Tsunami Eddie was very sure about how much Buck loved Chris.
- „Honestly I don’t know how to help him.“: This also parallels Maddie with Eddie in an interesting way because Maddie spends the whole episode worried about Buck and thinking he cannot take care of himself, while Eddie trusts in Buck to not only take care of himself but also his son. Which yeah, interesting.
3.02 „Eddie hates earthquakes - the remix“
- The episode sort of proves that while the others may have known what Eddie was gonna do, Operation „Buck up Buck“ was his plan because he is the one who has Buck’s back. (Considering for example Maddie doesn’t know about it as she thinks Buck is home and had Chim been involved he would have told her beforehand meaning this was Eddie’s plan and he executed it and then told the others about it while at work.)
- Also in terms of literal Trust: LA is hit by a Tsunami and Eddie doesn’t worry about his son once because Buck said they are going to the movies next and also because Eddie trusts Buck to protect Chris like he would.
3.03 „‚Do it for the trauma!‘ - Buck-edition“
Once again a subtext-mill but there is some textual evidence as well:
- “How do you tell your best friend that you lost his son?“: At the VA hospital Buck calls Eddie his best friend when he talks to Maddie which I always found weird in this context? Because it should always be hard to tell another person about how you got their child killed (which is not my opinion but the way Buck sees it here, okay?), yet the writers choose to put in a reference to how much Eddie means to Buck.
- Which connects to another subtext and text thing which is the voiceover which has Buck say the lines: „To be seen. To be found. Isn’t that what we’re all looking for?“ after talking to Eddie, which no longer just implies this is about Eddie but actually straight up says it - and it connects to the sub-topic of how well they know each other, cause Buck says in this episode: Eddie is my best friend and he sees me for who I really am. Which, yeah, is stuff one usually finds in connection to a love interest. (Will talk about it more with Subtext though)
- Also before that the voiceover has Buck say „Sometimes being lost is not knowing how to get from where we are to where we wanna be, where we need to be.“ right as Eddie knocks on the door, which basically states that Eddie and Chris might be where Buck wants to be but also how Eddie apparently knows how to get Buck there. Because he knows him so well. (He literally calls Eddie his life raft in the voiceover!)
- „Buck, there is nobody in this world I trust with my son more than you”: Now the Trust theme in regards to the loft scene is interesting in how it compares Buck to two people in Eddie’s eyes / life: Shannon and himself. Shannon, as I already said, we have with 2.07 and 2.10, both of which talked about how she left Chris (and Eddie) and how Eddie no longer trusts her because of this and refuses to let her back into Chris’s life. Which is different to how he always lets Buck back into Chris’s life, even after the lawsuit with virtually no hesitation once they made up as far as we can see. Meaning he trusts Buck more than he trusts Shannon. Who is, you know, his wife?
As for Eddie himself, I’m gonna flashforward a bit to 3.08 and the conversation between Eddie and Bobby. Because in 3.03 Eddie talks about messing up with Chris, yet how he never stops trying and how he knows Buck is the same way - which is interesting considering 3.08 has Eddie basically say that he has not forgiven himself for all those mistakes. Yet he forgives Buck both for the Tsunami and abandoning them during the lawsuit.
And now I wanna say something very controversial and hurtful but also connected to how I read Buddie and Trust which is that in my opinion? Eddie includes himself here. Eddie tells Buck here he trusts him more or at the very least just as much as he trusts himself with his son. Which is pretty big, considering he barely trusted his wife, the mother of said son, who he has known for at the very least about 11 years during Season 2? Someone he himself said he loves? Someone he at one point planned his future with? (Meaning he most definitely plans his future with Buck in it now…)
3.04 „discount!Buck in the house“
- Two things are in this episode, both of which are very much not about Trust in the literal sense but how much time Buddie spends together outside of work:
“Can’t fight city hall.“ Eddie being the only one on board with the fire drill Buck’s leading because he is a boy scout who follows all the rules but also because Buck probably talked to him about his job as fire marshal beforehand and so Eddie knows how important what is happening here is to Buck.
„You don’t know math.“: now, you can think this is another dig at Buck’s intelligence but you also have to acknowledge that at one point Eddie might have either heard someone reference Buck’s math knowledge in front of Eddie or Eddie has seen Buck try doing math and has remembered that well enough to immediately be able to pull out that dig. (Which brings us to a parallel I will talk about later!)
- “Uh, who - who’s that?“: I also firmly believe that Buck would have not been as willing to go along with the lawsuit, despite Bobby’s betrayal, had Eddie not immediately rushed off toward Lena at the firehouse, making Buck think Eddie (his partner) has replaced him. Does no longer need him to have his back.
3.05: „What if we fight like a married couple in a grocery store downtown LA, bro?“
Ah, yes, that episode! Filled with Buddie signs!
- “And if Cap says he’s not ready, he’s not ready.“: What I find interesting in terms of Buddie and Trust is the fact that Eddie apparently trusts Bobby’s judgement more than he trusts Buck’s. Which I find OOC. Or not because Eddie is a soldier and Eddie grew up fairly authoritarian it seems his first instinct will be to follow the chain of command / do as the person in charge tells him to.
- Now everything else that happens after including and specifically the street fighting storyline? That was a direct result of the lawsuit and the deposition in which Buck betrayed Eddie’s trust by revealing the info about Shannon. Which Buck is aware of because up until this point we see him still looking up, yet after this he drops his eyes and doesn’t really look at anyone again during the deposition.
- “And I’m not allowed to talk to Buck.“: Yet. YET despite this massive betrayal in Eddie’s eyes what stops him from calling Buck later is the fact that he wasn’t allowed to do so! Nothing else. Also the phrasing is very interesting as it gives us three entities Eddie considered to call: his abuela, Buck and the 118, meaning Hen, Chim and Bobby - the people he will call his family about 6 episodes later - are an uniformed mass but Buck is his own person - because up to this point Buck always had Eddie’s back. And we all know he still would have had! (Sidenote: this line is what made me an actual shipper and why ya’ll can read posts like this, so maybe say thank you to Lyndsey Beaulieu? Or fuck you, depending on your opinion of me ;P)
- „And now I can’t even talk to you.“: This whole scene gives huge character exposition and I’ve talked a shit ton about the fight in the grocery store before as have a lot of other people, but basically what it boils down to is that Eddie is mad at Buck because he revealed things about them to his lawyer but mostly because Eddie thought they had each others back and trusted each other and apparently Buck doesn’t trust and care about him the same way Eddie does for him because he didn’t even consult Eddie about the lawsuit? And Eddie misses Buck a lot. And Chris misses Buck a lot. And Eddie is already mad because Shannon wanted a divorce despite how hard he tried and then she died, meaning she left him again and now Buck left him as well and why is Eddie never enough for anyone?
And of course, as always, Eddie is mad at himself the most because he wasn’t enough for Shannon and he wasn’t enough for Buck and he’s probably not enough for Chris who is struggling so much and Eddie just feels angry and lost all the time!
I think this is the moment Buck finally understands how much he means to Eddie truly. How Eddie meant every word in 3.03. How for once someone actually trusted him, depended on him - and he let them down. Which was never his intention because Buck never understood that he could (which is not the topic of this post though).
- “Why can’t you see my side of things?“: On Buck’s side, while he isn’t nearly as mad as Eddie, he does raise the question of why Eddie didn’t have his back - which is a very fair question but Eddie is still too mad at Buck here to hear it.
- What is also very interesting about this scene is that no one, not even Bobby who was actually sued by Buck, is as mad at him as Eddie is and no one dares steps between them. Probably because everyone recognises they are closest with each other, so the conversation hits a bit different and also is about a lot more than the „stupid lawsuit“. Yeah.
(Real talk I have been very mad at friends before and I am known to make scenes but damn, this scene does not read platonic at all, it reads ‘married couple fights in grocery store in LA - what happens next will surprise you. News at 11.’)
- In other news, Eddie didn’t come to the rage room in the end and Buck was very very sad about it.
3.06: „*cries about the framing*“
(Sidenote: I feel Eddie so much in this episode, I too would be too embarrassed to talk to Buck had I just screamed at him in a grocery store in full view of all our coworkers. I too would avoid everyone like the plague and maybe join a fight club just so I would not have to deal with those feelings. I get it, my dude!)
- “Whew, dude, are you okay?“: We’ll talk about it with 3.08 as well, but it is very significant and pointed that Buck immediately knows something is wrong with Eddie when no one else at the station had seemed to be aware of that.
- “I don’t know what you want from me, Buck“: The apology scene is very subtext heavy but what it comes down to in the whole having each other’s back / knowing each other well / Trust - column is the fact that after being mad and avoiding him all day Eddie still sticks around and more importantly actually listens to Buck - which, as shitty as that sounds, but considering how he acted before if Eddie hadn’t wanted to still be Buck's friend he could have said something shitty and left or stayed and not actually listened to what Buck had to say - but he didn’t because as hurt as Eddie had been by Buck’s betrayal he still trust him and he wants to understand, which I do think sets Eddie apart from everyone else because Hen and Chim forgive Buck but they don’t ever try to figure out where he is coming from while Bobby is … being Bobby about all of. Eddie meanwhile, who has the most or maybe the only right to actually be mad about the lawsuit, still trusts Buck enough to know that he had his reasons and actually takes the time to listen to them. Even if he is being sassy.
- And on Buck’s side we do have his need to reconnect with Eddie the whole episode and we have him notice stuff about Eddie no one else did and we also have the really beautiful and mature line of Buck saying: „I just want you to talk to me. Even if it’s just to say you’re still mad.“ Which I love very much and tells us a lot about Buck and communication, because Buck values openness so much.
- “And I just wanted to…“ - „Punch someone?“: Also while it was important for Buck to explain himself to someone - it was especially important for him to explain himself to Eddie, both because he considers Eddie his best friend and also because the grocery store scene showed him how much he means to Eddie which probably floored Buck because as we learned before and also after: Buck is not used to people needing him as much as he needs them.
3.08: „XOXO gossip (fire)fighters“
- “Whoo. Nice truck.“: One thing about 911 is that it’s a very plot and action driven show, meaning sometimes it will lack the time to actually show us certain things, especially when it comes to relationships, so it relies a lot on telling us things about characters and their relationships and as these scenes here show us they do a good job at it. Buddie talking about Eddie buying a new truck is very casual and banter-y / flirty (this is a Buddie post so I call it like I see it) and light and shows us: hey, they are friends again and close again and they know each other very well - while also showing us: Eddie still keeps stuff from Buck but Buck knows something is off.
- “Eddie too.“: Which brings me to my next point and the thing I love most about this episode aside from Heidi which is Buck running around and going: ‚something is wrong with Eddie‘ while everyone else is like: ‚Eddie? Are you sure? I haven’t noticed anything‘
Which leaves two ways to read this:
Eddie and the rest of the 118 aren’t as close as it seems and they do not care about Eddie that much - which considering all the deep talk between Eddie and Chimney in 3b especially and the fact that he calls them his family would be fucked up and also doesn’t seem like the vibe they are going for OR
BUDDIE! I mean, look at what has been going on with the street fighting storyline, essentially the writers went: okay, so Eddie can't talk to Buck so he goes completely off the rails but no one will know because Eddie hides it so well - EXCEPT Buck will realise sth is wrong the second he looks at Eddie and once the lawsuit is done he will spend two episodes running after Eddie and trying to figure out what is going on
3.09: „#tw: mild adult themes & implied sexual content / #pwp - porn without porn“
- “He’s kind of obsessed with natural disasters.“: Honest question: Is Buck really obsessed with natural disasters or does Eddie have earthquake related trauma and Buck has been googling stuff and telling him facts to calm Eddie down every time the earth vibrates a little because a train or something passes them by?
In any case it’s a very cute scene with Eddie once more revealing how well he knows Buck and the writers confirming to us that yes, these boys spent a lot of time with each other and talking to each other - without needing to show the scenes
- “I could still take you“: AFTER ALL they needed the runtime to do this other little scene this fandom has not talked about at all ever mainly because it is so very straight basically people stopped shipping after.
I’m just kidding, obviously the whole scene was very queer both in subtext but especially in text, I mean, what even was that line about still taking him, Buck? There is a child not even 15 feet away, where is your sense for decency and decorum? DO YOU WANT TO TRAUMATISE HIM EVEN MORE???
A few notes on this scene:
- It’s been pointed out to me that Maddie complains about how everything around there gets shared with the 118 and how Buck … turns around and shares everything about his sister with Eddie, which I love because it seems so normal and comfortable between them like they do that all the time, which is way cute and domestic!
Added to that considering the conversation Eddie had the week before with Bobby about Shannon and the throwaway reference about thinking his marriage having been complicated, I wonder: Did Eddie talk to everyone about the street fighting and Shannon after his talk with Bobby in 3.08? Did he just talk to Buck about it? Did Buck know about Shannon wanting a divorce all along? (Yeah, you know were I am leaning, right?)
- “Especially if you aren’t around to see that they need saving“: As for the apology in and off itself, I’m not gonna talk about the character implications again cause been there done that, send an ask if you wanna know more, but what it comes down to is: Buck acknowledging that he should have been there for Eddie and he didn’t consider the Eddie of it all when he sued Bobby, which is interesting because OFFICIALLY Eddie really is just his best friend and coworker at this point so did he really have to consider his feelings all that much?
Also Buck is saying - and Eddie is not contradicting this - that Eddie street fighting would not have happened if Buck had been around, which, to quote a good friend of mine: Uff!
I think we can admit that while Eddie was mad at Buck, his anger was not primarily about Buck but it was amplified by Buck abandoning him. We can admit that Buck was what ultimately caused Eddie to lose his control and considering everything that Eddie went through in the past year with Shannon and considering everything Buck went through in the past two years: this is as close to unconditional love as these two can manage at the time and that is very beautiful and does support Buddie 100%. They are each other’s anchor and person the one they turn to in a crisis.
Or well, Buck is for Eddie. Buck does have more people like that in his life with his sister there and I do think before the lawsuit he wasn’t fully aware that he could depend on Eddie so fully because Buck always doubts how committed other people are to him because abandonment issues.
3.11: „Bist du single? Nein, eher Album!“
- „This is Eddie’s house. I’m not really a guest.“: Incredibly strong indicator / implications toward how much time these two boys spent with each other, considering how comfortable both of them are in each other’s space (and I don’t mean physical but material space). Eddie has a key to Buck’s apartment and just let’s himself in willy-nilly, while Buck is around in Eddie’s place often enough to not think of himself as a guest there. (And while that might be normal best friend behaviour to some of us, Maddie’s words imply that it is not for her / the Buckleys.)
3.14: „Frank says ‚Thank you, this paid for my new house!‘“ / 3.15: „MY therapist also says ‚Thank you!‘“
I’m gonna group these two together, since 3.14 in itself doesn’t have any relevance considering Eddie isn’t even in the episode but it does become relevant in regards to 3.15!
- Basically what it all comes down to is the contrast between Buck’s reaction to Maddie being in danger and his reaction to Eddie nearly dying!
Now I already said while talking about 2.14 part of it was that Buck was aware he was in no position to help Maddie and might actually make stuff worse if he intervenes while with Eddie he was HIS ACTUAL LIFELINE! He was actually responsible for getting Eddie out of the well and home to his family. BUT (!) it’s still very pointed, especially remembering they apparently changed the order of episodes around? Meaning we are really hit with the contrast and we have to consider the implications of it all!
- Also just Buck’s reaction in general, even with Chimney and Maddie in Season 2 he wasn’t this frantic, he wasn’t freaking out like that! This really seems like all those scene’s shows like that usually do to confirm one person is in love with the other by having them completely loose it at the prospect of the other dying.
And damn, does 911 delivers here, not just with Buck literally trying to dig down to Eddie with his bare hands but also with his conviction for the rest of the episode before going sort of catatonic near the end. Basically Buck was going through the 5 stages of grief over Eddie during the course of this episode and we just? Let him?
- Of course we should mention Buck has Eddie’s back always, so he doesn’t give up on him and doesn’t entertain the notion of Eddie possibly being dead for even a microsecond because this is Eddie and Buck needs him!
- And to add to the list of heartbreaking lines we have Hen saying: „Why? So we have two cut lines?“ because yes, Buck would choose to stay down there rather than let himself be saved if Eddie was already dead - and if Eddie wasn’t he would force Eddie to trade lines with him so Buck could be the one to die because Buck thinks Eddie’s life is more valuable than his and also he is a selfless idiot who loves Eddie more than himself - which frankly is a mutual thing if we look at 3.03
Option #3 btw would be that Hen knows Eddie has a legitimate reason to cut his line and he would explain that to Buck and - considering who they are - Buck would immediately agree and cut his line as well.
Anyways, no matter which option the writers were thinking off this line is heartbreaking and the implication interesting!
To sum it all up, the episode basically said: Buck would die for Eddie and he loves him more than anything else
- The Eddie implications of this episode are mostly Subtext, so we’ll get to them later in case you thought I forgot!
3.16: „The rope was a metaphor after all“
Tbh I do not think that this episode was really about how no person can be happy / live without regrets / not be lonely unless they are in a relationship with someone or they would not have put that much focus on the relationship between Maddie and Buck and the fact that his abandonment issues stem from her leaving.
- “He’s not gonna do it alone“: As for Buddie, the episode goes back to them being partners and in sync with the roof thing and yay, it has a different ending then the reversed situation the episode before but also it features a metaphor we will talk about later
- “Hey, you’re more than welcome to come and celebrate with a bunch of 9 year olds.“: Just like we will talk later about Eddie inviting Buck to the sleepover! Because while I don’t think the invite was all that serious and I don’t think even considering everyone else, Buck would have taken him up on it because celebrating with a bunch of 9 year olds around isn’t what Buck had in mind, it’s very interesting that the first person taken out of the equation is the guy Buck is closest to and probably spends the most time with.
- And now let’s talk about the playing pool scene because it once again shows that 1) Buck and Eddie are very alike, 2) they know each other very well and 3) they care about each other the most!
Because for 1) I do wanna point everyone to the fact that Eddie doesn’t have anyone outside his family and the 911 either or they would have mentioned him staying in contact with his army buddies or something.
2) Eddie is the only one who actually listens to what Buck says and gets what Buck is really asking, while Bobby, Hen and Chim are all too focused on their own experiences to get that the reason Buck tries so hard to help Red is because he thinks he is Red (I mean they do get it, but they don’t really realise how serious this is for Buck - yet)
3) There is also a lot of focus on Eddie in this scene which we will talk about later as well but it picks up the whole ambiguous „us“ from the grocery store which technically refers to the whole firefam but the way it’s said still implies that it is about the two of them especially.
To anticipate a bit: every time the word „Us“ is used in this scene Buddie only looks at each other. When Buck says „I mean that would never happen … to us.“ he looks at everyone else but turns to look at Eddie as he very pointedly says „to us“ and keeps his focus there for a moment. Eddie meanwhile technically turns to the pool table while he says the word „us“ but he only focuses on Buck before this and doesn’t look at anyone else because to him: Buck is the important aspect here. And no one else!
Not to mention the intense look Buck gives Eddie (and only Eddie) when he says „Better not.“. Like damn, in 3 Seasons Buck has never sounded this threatening before!
Basically the way this scene is acted combined with the words that were written it sort of reads like them going: We’re all family here but you and me will most definitely never leave each other!
I mean there is a reason why Buddie used the ambiguous „us“ while everyone else talked about the firefam being friends or being family.
(And yes, that might be a bit of a reach but this is a Buddie guide after all, so we are going with the buddie-est interpretation!)
3.17: „‚Don’t say her name‘-challenge“
- “Uh no, someone else.“: More of a subtext scene but it does seem pointed that Buck refuses to admit that he was thinking about Abby here, considering Bobby most definitely knew that Buck was talking about Abby because he was there for the hot-air balloon date, so even if he did not remember right away he knew the second Buck said he didn’t know from Maddie and since Hen and Chimney weren’t there in the truck (and also, they probably would have known who Buck was talking about as well) the only one Buck was hiding from was Eddie.
Which makes sense, even if you only look at them as best friends, because Eddie only saw the aftermath and what we canonically know that he heard about Abby were things like Buck’s speech in 2.08, so … even as just Buck’s friend he must really dislike her
(Also there is that whole parallel one can draw between Abby and Shannon which I talked about here)
- „Buck invites Eddie“: So I’ve been going back and forth on what to write here for a few hours now and what it comes down to is this: despite being 6500 words deep into a meta on Buddie and knowing full well the writers so far have no intention of actively doing Buddie, I would not accuse 911 of queerbaiting. HOWEVER, if the show ends and Buddie doesn’t happen I will consider this scene queerbaiting because there would have been ways to write this that did not leave the implications it did because the way it has been written the text is:
„If I bring my romantic life-partner to dinner with my best friend he will bring his romantic life-partner who will invite her brother who will invite his best friend and then we have to invite this other couple we are all close with.“ and well, one of them is not like the others, right?
(Well, technically two but Maddie and Buck are most definitely siblings despite that scene in 2.01)
Because essentially what that scene did here was say: If I bring my wife the evening turns into this couples night with all our friends - except Buck and Eddie aren’t a couple.
And sure, just like all great queerbaits there is a reasonable explanation as well as a completely platonic way to read this because of course Buck would not wanna be all alone with two couple so he would bring his best friend and the we’d have to invite the other couple we know as well so they don’t feel left out.
EXCEPT - and this is why it feel pointed and queerbait-ey: We have already seen the 118 hang out without Athena and Bobby at Chimney’s birthday and it was never mentioned to us whether they were invited and didn’t come - or Chimney didn’t invite them. Both explanations sort of make Hen’s point moot because it does proof that they can hang out without their boss slash friend and his wife slash her best friend without it being a big deal meaning especially if this was a make-up dinner for Chimney’s birthday they wouldn’t have needed to be there.
There is also the fact that supposably Alfred is still in town? You know, Chimney’s brother? So if they wanted to avoid the Buddie implication they could have also thrown in how Chim might bring his brother like:
„I invite you, so he invites Maddie, Maddie invites Buck, Buck invites Eddie, Chim might invite Alfred,  and now we gotta invite Athena and Bobby“ - see how that has a completely different feel? Now there are three single guys and two of which are siblings of someone else in the group while the third is friends with the rest of the group, making this sound less like couples night out and more like a group of friends hanging out.
But they didn’t do it like that so now it feels like they are pointedly equating Buddie with the canon couples of the show which is quite queerbait-ey.
3.18: „TrainCRASH? More like train WRECK? *cries*“
Okay, so this episode is a little hard to do because there is so much going on and a lot of it is very hard to categorise! As for the topic of Trust and having each other’s back:
- I do think that a lot of Eddie here come down to having Buck’s back - even when Buck might not think that’s what Eddie’s doing like in the train car, but he probably realised later which is why we see Buck talk about it with Bobby but not with Eddie because they are at this point where you no longer need to have clarifying talks (about stuff like that, once romantic!Buddie hits they’ll have to do all the talking).
And that’s basically it when it comes to Trust because most of what is happening in the episode when it comes to Buddie is Subtext!
Coparenting
I think this theme needs less of an explanation - though I do wanna point out that while I think Buck has fatherly feelings for Chris and Chris loves Buck a lot, Buck is not actually his parent / father. He is slowly getting there and if or when Buddie happens he might become Chris’s other parent but right now he is not. So this theme is about Buck being a honorary member of the Diaz family in general and Eddie’s treatment of him most of all.
Because the way I see Eddie him dating anyone would always be tied to his son. Eddie has been shown to be someone who would do anything for family and his son in particular, so the fact that Buck is tied into this family is important. It also shows how much they are already a family without actually dating and proofs they spent more time with each other than we see and more than with anyone else.
I should also say that there is a very heavy overlap between this and the category of Subtext so some things will be repeated but all of them deserve to be repeated so there is that.
2.02 / 2.03: „Why Edmundo Diaz hates earthquakes part 1 and part 2 (of 2)“
- Like I already said when I discussed Trust Buck is the only one asking who Eddie is trying to reach, he is the only one trying to reassure Eddie and he does so even though Eddie is being sarcastic and pretending he doesn’t need to be comforted - also a staple in their relationship
And I think this is also were their dynamic of Buck being Eddie’s go to person when it came to Chris came from. Buck told Eddie he liked kids and then he proceeded to actually show Eddie he means it and he cares and considering Eddie says the mother isn’t in the picture and Chris has no one else (which as we learn throughout the show is not 100% true because technically Eddie's parents are there, even if they have no idea how to properly raise Chris, but in LA Eddie doesn’t really have anyone (yet) he feels comfortable burdening with his fears about Chris), so that must mean one hell of a lot.
- “Hey. Service.“: There is also the moment at the end of 2.03 when Buck immediately tells Eddie: hey, service is back! and then he drives Eddie to pick up Chris which is a scene that has so much subtext so we’ll talk about it later! It does however give us our first‚ Diazs plus Buck‘-family moment because while we see everyone reuniting with their loved ones, we see Buck with Eddie and Chris and yeah.
2.04: „Hearteyes, motherforker“
- One of my favourite things about Buddie is how they manage to be exactly what the other person needs - or in case of this episode figure out exactly what the other person needs and giving it to them. It’s happening here and again in 3.01 and 3.03 and some other smaller moments as well (see 2.01 honestly).
It’s also interesting that Buck is the one to drive Eddie again because we saw he has a car! So why is that? Maybe because he knows the way better?
As for the coparenting happening here, aside from Buck introducing Eddie to Carla because he knows she is what Eddie needs, we also have Buck clearing Chris coming to the station with Bobby which is something Eddie apparently hadn’t considered but Buck had and instead of telling Eddie he needs to do that - he does it for him! Because that’s who Buck is but also because Buck realised in this episode how much Eddie really needs someone to have his back and just do stuff for him.
2.07: „*Tommy Wiseau voice* Hi Shannon“
- And in terms of having each other’s back this episode really shows the significance of this phrase with Shannon pointing out, like I said before, that from her point of view Eddie didn’t have her back. She needed him to be her husband and her coparent and he wasn’t.
Now we can argue whether that is true or not but it’s still an important parallel and puts Eddie turning toward Buck for advice into a new light.
Because as Shannon points out Eddie was never good at letting other people make decisions for him or with him before yet we continuously see him turning toward Buck for exactly that: sharing the load with him. And to put that even more into perspective: Buck is the youngest from their friend group, he is the one considered immature and he is the one without kids or younger siblings, yet he is the one Eddie choose for helping.
2.10: „It’s all about ‚figured it was none of my business‘“
- The interesting thing here is that Buck as Eddie’s friend really doesn’t have any right to know about what was happening between Shannon and Eddie if Eddie didn’t want him to, but Buck as Eddie’s family does (a little).
But either way this episode gives us another instance of Eddie confiding in Buck about his family problems - problems he again is the one most inexperienced with. In other words Eddie talking to Buck about it was really about Eddie wanting Buck’s opinion specifically.
There is also the fact that Buck came to see Santa with Eddie in the first place which is most definitely a family affair as far as I know US customs? (We don’t do this in Germany / Bavaria, okay? We have the Child of Christ and around the 6th we gather in the town square and shoot at it.)
It’s even brought up in text with the Elf telling Buck they make a beautiful family - and Buck not disagreeing because honestly it’s just easier and he probably knows how they looked. But yeah. That!
- Also not to repeat myself but the topic of trust is important here! Eddie not trusting Shannon in 2.07 / 2.10 with Chris vs. trusting Buck in 3.03 / 3.09 / 3.10 is important!
Yes, sure Shannon is his actual mother so Chris has stronger feelings for her and the potential to get hurt is way bigger. Yes, Buck was only gone from their life for a few weeks while Shannon was gone for about 2 years. Yes, Buck apologised twice while Shannon just played the victim card tbh (even though she did have a point with some of the stuff she said). But still:
Eddie is very hesitant to let Shannon back into his son’s life (and really his as well) while he does have no such qualms about Buck once Buck apologises to him in 3.06. In fact their relationship returns to normal with Eddie asking Buck for help with Chris numerous times while say 2.15 makes it clear Eddie still keeps Shannon at arms’ length and out of a lot of aspects of raising Chris.
Of course, giving advice to Eddie is not the same level of involved as actually parenting the child and part of it is probably growth on Eddie’s side when it comes to Season 3 but right here: it’s a stark contrast and it deserves a mention!
2.17: „*fridges female character for man pain* Haha, we’re so random!“
- „Ice cream? Oh, I do not envy you putting him to sleep tonight!“: There is the scene here where Eddie facetimes with Shannon and she is out and about with Chris and Abuela and they are getting ice cream and Eddie is all like: damn you’ll regret that later - which is the same thing he says about Buck in 3.02
3.01: „How you know he no sleep naked?“
- Buck gets a card from Chris which is a child thing to do but also should be mentioned because Buck does not get a card from Danny or Harry. And considering how much Buck likes children and how good he is with them we do have to mention that we only see Buck interact with Danny once and never with Harry while it’s been implied several times before the tsunami already that Buck does spend a lot of time with Chris. (Of course, in part this is due to how much closer Buck is with Eddie than Hen and especially Athena but still)
After all the season ends with Chris giving a card to his literal father, tying these two scenes together. And pointing out once again how important Buck is for Chris and the Diaz family.
- Also as I mentioned during Trust there is that parallel / contrast between how Maddie and how Eddie see Buck with Maddie sort of treating him like a child who needs to be dealt with while Eddie is basically like: let’s give him something to do so he feels less useless! (Guess who had the right idea! Just guess! And you have one try!)
- „Are we the only one’s without kids?“: There is also the cut from Madney talking about being the only one’s without kids and then remembering Buck to Buck getting woken up by Eddie so he can babysit Chris which I won’t say confirms Buck being a father to Chris but does accentuate everything he does for Chris after and gives the vibe that Buck does indeed have some fatherly feelings for Chris. It does at least place the idea of the Diazs WITH Buck being a family firmly into our heads.
3.02 „Eddie hates earthquakes - the remix“
- „How’s operation Buck up Buck going?“: Buck sending Eddie updates and pictures of Chris and himself hanging out is just really cute
- Also Eddie isn’t worried about his son at all!
- And we do have that tweet from Oliver Stark about jumping into the receding water at the end of 3.02 being basically suicide but Buck still doing it because the director told him, he’d do it for his own kids.
3.03 „Do it for the trauma - Buck-edition“
- I talked about it before with Trust but basically Eddie, who has parents who are still alive and physically able and love his son very much, even if they have different ideas of how to raise his son, and a sister with at least one child not that much older than Chris and a grandma and an aunt and probably some more family in LA AND Carla who he literally pays to take care of his son, literally tells his best friend he is the one he trusts the most with said son. That is fucking meaningful!
3.05: „What if we fight like a married couple in a grocery store downtown LA, bro?“
- „You know how much Chris misses you?“: The fact that Eddie brings Chris up at all and to hurt Buck specifically is - in part about Eddie deflecting from himself but also about Christopher actually missing Buck, which says a lot about the relationship Chris and Buck have and how much time they spent together if that is something Eddie would bring up here.
3.09: „#tw: mild adult themes & implied sexual content / #pwp - porn without porn“
- „I’d rather be at home with my kid, enjoying the one good thing I got going on.“: Eddie says these words during therapy and where do him and his son spent the following evening or at least an evening that same week? With Buck at his loft. Because even though Buck wasn’t mentioned here as part of the family time Eddie would much rather have, apparently he is part of it.
3.10: „Parenttrapping for Beginners“
- „Well, I thought it would be nice to bring the boys together for a playdate.“ - „All three of `em.“: this speaks for itself, Buck being invited in the first place was … an interesting choice? A dig at Buck’s mental age? Exposition? What exactly, Tim? Like what was the vibe in the writers room here?
- „Hey, Buck? (…) Can I spent Christmas with you?”: The fact that Chris would rather spent Christmas with Buck than with his grandma and the rest of their family is interesting as well and again points toward Buck being an integral part of the Diaz family.
- The way Eddie looks at Buck here and the little head shake implied to me that Buck and Eddie had the same conversation Eddie and Hen have right then already.
3.11: „Bist du single? Nein, eher Album!“
- “Well, that’s what the 118 is. The family we chose.“: Again maybe more subtext than text but when Eddie talks about the 118 being his family the camera pans to *drumroll* Chris, his actual blood family, Albert, Chim’s actual blood family - and Buck, who is basically Chim’s little brother and Eddie’s, well, best friend? Coparent? Partner in work and life? SOULMATE?
Yes, it’s a little subtext, but it’s interesting that this scene shows only one character neither of them are related to and it’s Buck, emphasising once more that these two and especially Eddie (because he’s the one talking here) think of Buck as their family.
3.12: „There’s a horse loose in a hos… school“
- “(…) we should try it together”: Again with the emphatic inclusion of Buck in family scenes! (But this time Carla gets to be there as well - though only to record them?)
This episode introduces Ana Flores as a potential love interest for Eddie and then spends the whole episode contrasting and paralleling her with Buck, as one does …
In this episode as well Eddie gets advice about Chris from several people and it’s interesting that the one person whose advice he follows without disagreeing or trying something else first is once again Buck. 
The episode also maybe implies that Buck was the one to built or buy or find out about the skateboard.
But really what matters here is Eddie reaffirming that there is no one he trusts more with his son (because he refused to take Carla’s advice right away but he did listen and think about what Buck had to say right away - despite his joking) and Buck being included in the family scene.
3.15: „MY therapist also says ‚Thank you!‘“
- „I’m always gonna fight to come home to my family.“: I’m not gonna comment on the lack of Shannon in the montage because I do believe part of it was that they didn’t really have scenes that fit and would have had to film them specifically which would then have to fit into the timeline / storyline before and also mostly it was about Shannon already being dead meaning she is no longer part of the family Eddie can come home to, so it makes a hell of a lot of sense for her not to be included, guys!
That being said I do believe Buck being in it quite a lot means something about how much of a part in Eddie’s family he is! Which is a big part and something I love about them a lot!
- Also Buck was so very happy Chris came to visit and then immediately walked over, which doesn’t really have any relevance except I thought it was cute and this is my guide.
3.16: „The rope was a metaphor after all“
- Obviously it was meant jokingly, but Eddie would have loved if Buck came and not just because being alone with a bunch of 9 year olds is no one’s idea of a fun evening and Eddie could probably use the help (still hoping Carla was there with him and still surprised Eddie was in such a good mood during the pool scene after), but because he likes to spend time with Buck and he did wanna celebrate with him - but he was also very aware that spending the evening with 9 year olds was not what Buck envisioned so he said it jokingly.
3.18: „Traincrash? More like train WRECK? *cries*“
- “Whoa! Whoa! Two weeks from home? Isn’t Chris kinda young for that?“: I don’t think I need to say more about that scene really, I think everyone who saw it understood that it confirmed the 118 but especially Buck being fairly involved in Christopher’s life and how that confirms: Buck = part of the Diaz family.
- Also all the interactions between Buck and Chris at the party both with and without Eddie around I mean, yeah, again, meaningful!
- In conclusion: Eddie, Chris and Buck are family and dems the facts!
Connection and love life
Now, this is where we are slowly going subtext and also really interpretation heavy!
The title might be a bit missleading but I didn’t really know how else to sum all aspects up. Basically this theme is about their love live but also about the parallels between their storylines - especially when it comes to their love life!
Also this theme isn’t organised by episode but by subtopics because I summed up so many different aspects here.
Parallels in their storylines:
- 3.15 / 3.16 and the rope metaphor as a metaphor for their dating life:
Technically the rope is a metaphor for their lives and them letting go of things in general but especially about their dating life because for Eddie in my opinion this is when he really fully comes to terms with Shannon’s death while Buck finally admits to his abandonment issues, in part caused by Abby leaving.
(Side note: the fact that Eddie choose to cut his line just like he choose to actually do therapy to deal with his issues for Christopher’s sake while Buck’s burns away and he is literally forced to deal with his issues through being confronted with Red and running into Abby at the train crash is … something.)
Their dating life is being paralleled:
This really isn’t technically something that explains why you should ship them but I do think it’s interesting that from the get go their love lives have been happening in parallels / contrasts to each other? As if they were connected? Magnets?
So yeah, that and also it goes like this:
- 2.01: Eddie references Buck being single
- 2.02 / 2.03: Eddie first mentions Shannon but indicates a break-up / Buck meets Ali and seems to bond with her
- 2.04: both refuse to hook up with any of the girls at the bar and don’t want to date because they consider themselves taken (I know Eddie says it’s about Chris but Buck called bullshit here and text told us to trust Buck on what he says about Eddie)
- 2.06: Buck flirts with Taylor and Eddie acts a bit jealous
- 2.07: While Buck finally comes to term with his break up with Abby in her absence, Shannon returns and we learn that Eddie has sort of been holding out hope so far (they kiss in the end) (Also Eddie and Shannon and Buck and Taylor both happen in parking lots which probably only means they ran out of location money but still!)
- 2.08: Buck hooks up with Taylor, then meets with Ali and begins dating her
- 2.10: it’s revealed that Eddie has been sleeping with Shannon and Buck is miffed
- 2.11 - 2.16: we get a few mentions of Ali and some scenes between Eddie and Shannon reminding us both these relationships are happening and they are growing closer
- 2.17: Shannon thinks she is pregnant, Eddie wonders about their relationship, Shannon wants a divorce but dies before they can go through with it
- 2.18: Buck gets a new apartment because of Ali, their relationship seems ready to become more serious, then Buck gets hurt and Ali is traumatised by this and tells Buck she needs to rethink the relationship
- 3.01: it is revealed that Ali and Buck broke up
- 3a: both of them work through the trauma of the past few months, no references to either of them dating are made, romantic and / or domestic scenes happen between them instead, the ambiguous „us“ happens
- 3.11: they are asked about their relationship-status to remind us about them being single (AND THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER? Wow.)
- 3.12: It’s pointed out again that Buck is single but he says he prefers it that way while Eddie meets Ana and shows some interest in her, then during a call Buck indicates that he might not be as happy being single as he told Madney and Josh while also seeming a bit happy Eddie won’t be dating Ana (probably)
- 3.15: Eddie finally fully comes to terms with his past, including his relationship with Shannon and her dying
- 3.16: Buck reveals he might still be hung up on what happened with Abby and he realises he needs to move on, the ambiguous „Us“ is brought back
- 3.18: Buck runs into Abby and actually moves on
- Side note: considering 2.08 and 2.10 and 3.09 and some remarks made throughout the show, Buck and Eddie are somewhat aware of the relationship struggles the other had which isn’t really relevant but also sort of is
Parallels with canon couples
This is TV and TV and especially shipping lives through tropes and parallels inside the story to subtext tell you something you need to know without actually having to say the words, but just to plant the idea in the viewers head.
For example, and please I am just spitballing here, you are writing a show about Lifeguards. And there are these two characters who are named … Paddie and Tucker. They have amazing chemistry and they are best friends and love each other a lot. Now, you, as the showrunner, are considering making them a romantic item but you need to do it slow cause while you do have queer characters and a queer following this show is fairly mainstream and also the characters have presented as straight in text so far. So you need to do crumbs, right?
Okay, so how do you best do that? Well, Tucker is known as this really caring guy and very open with his feelings and he freaks out when someone he loves is in danger - so you put Paddie in danger, right? Proofs he loves him, right?
But then you want it to have some deeper queer implications, right, in case you do decide on making them romantic? So how do you best do that? Well, lucky for you, Tucker has a sister. And you were planning on putting her in danger as well this season anyways, so you just have Tucker react a bit more subdued here, right?
But then you really want it to hit people, like you need people who are more casual and mainstream and might not have noticed the romantic undertones Tuddie has had to notice that, right? So you put these two episodes back to back.
Except „Paddie Begins“ is set to air first and well, Tucker IS known to lose his shit about people he cares about being in danger, so they might not actually notice anything more. Or they will just consider Tucker not reacting as hard about his sister, Sadie, being in danger bad writing. And you can’t have that!
So how do you fix that? Well, you just change the episode order! Now the episode with Sadie in danger airs first and people will spent a week complaining about how out of character Tucker was and it will be still on their minds when „Paddie Begins“ happens and Tucker goes feral and it will hit EVERYONE! Like damn, apparently Tucker cares more about Paddie than Sadie? Why? What makes Paddie so much more important?
Anyways, this is how you test out an idea in TV and why tropes and parallels are important…
Moving on:
- 2.14: „‚It’s a miracle… bro #nohomo’“: Now I have already written a bit about Buck’s reaction to Eddie potentially dying to safe the kid and while it is fairly tame for Buck it’s still something you usually see a guy do for a love interest (Any of ya’ll watch „Chicago Fire“? Because I watched like the first two Seasons and the main „Will they / won’t they“ - couple had a scene like that about once every three episodes. Cause it’s a trope!)
- 3.02 „Eddie hates earthquakes - the remix“: This is a teeny tiny bit of a stretch and there wasn’t even any nice cuts to anyone in the firefam to indicate they were referenced (which I found odd, considering this would have also fit for Bobby) but the guy who got impaled with his son in law said: „She‘s the love of my life but he‘s her‘s.“ which considering this episode has Buck doing everything to protect Christopher means a lot and I think about it once a day, okay?
- 3.14 vs 3.15 vs. 3.16 vs. 3.17 vs. 3.18 - Losing the love of your life and how to deal with that:
This may be the biggest parallel of all, and maybe I could have included 2.14 as well but I didn’t because it’s a whole season removed. It also seems meaningful that this episodes happen one after the other, making us naturally compare the scenes and see / look for patterns.
But to explain real quick:
In 3.14 Maddie is in danger and Chimney, who is her boyfriend and told her he loves her just one episode earlier, freaks out completely
In 3.15 Eddie might die / is considered dead by several of his friends already and Buck utterly looses it! We are talking frantic screaming and trying to dig Eddie out by hand and running around trying to figure out ways to save Eddie only to turn full on catatonic when none of that works. I mean, his mood turns faster than mine when I am hangry while on my period and that is saying sth!
3.16 could be considered a bit of a stretch but we do see Red lash out a lot when he realises that Cindy, the woman he considered the love of his life and someone he pined after for quite a while doesn’t exist like that anymore.
In 3.17 Athena is put in great danger and Bobby is forced / able to listen to it and while I am not sure if the blank look on Bobby’s face is bad acting, a deliberate but accidental acting choice OR done consciously in a way that mirrors Oliver’s acting in 3.15 - it’s there and it’s a parallel and we can watch it and compare it and see it.
To bring this whole thing home for us they contracted another outside player in the form of Connie Britton playing Buck’s ex-girlfriend Abby, who similarly to Red and Buck, turns frantic upon possibly loosing her fiancé and starts panic and lash out a little, which is fair and also part of a motherforking pattern, ya’ll!
- Another fairly obvious parallel between 3.14 and 3.15 is Buck telling Sue - as the watch Maddie and Chimney hug - that Maddie already has everything she needs when Sue asks him why he didn’t immediately rush toward his sister. Which can be compared to 3.15 were he does immediately rush to Eddie’s side and support and hug him!
-  I’ve already written about 700 words on 3.17 and the line „Buck invites Eddie“ so I’ll just point you back toward that part of the guide where I pointed out that Buddie was actively compared to the three main canon pairings here. Which is a lot and also could have been avoided and probably queerbaiting.
- Again, teeny tiny bit of a stretch maybe but like, we’re here to talk about anything in canon pointing toward Buddie and also this is my guide and I do what I want but in 3.18 we learn that Abby is now engaged to a single father and considering she was only gone for about two years (Season 2 takes place over the course of one year and in 3.13 we learn that Madney has been dating for just under 11 months so unless there was a time jump somewhere in the last 5 episodes we weren’t really told about, we clock in at about 2 years and maybe one or two months, tops, at the end of Season 3), they have been together for less than that time, even if we think Abby already knew him when she was still dating Buck. Which timeline wise puts them meeting maybe around the time Buck met Eddie, maybe a bit after, meaning Abby met and began dating and fell in love with and decided to marry a single father in the same timespan Buddie did … whatever it is they are doing! Which is meaningful because for the viewing of the Abby/Buck relationship which I am glad more and more people are realising was very unbalanced and provides an interesting parallel to Buddie because this means Abby and Buck met and developed feelings for a single father around the same time. Idk, I understand that the whole father thing was to make Buck care even more but damn, it’s a parallel so I mention it!
- Michael and Doctor Hale vs Eddie and Ana (3.17/3.18 vs. 3.12ff.)
Now, of course we need to realise that Eddie and Michael are fairly different characters and Michael has way less relationship related baggage than Eddie has which is why he goes after what he wants way faster (also, carpe diem, he just found out he won’t die). Also of course, there is no moral component to address in Michael dating some doctor vs. Eddie dating his son’s teacher, but still:
Michael and Dr. Hale had one scene together and it wasn’t even overly flirty and yet, we knew where it was heading, we felt the chemistry and everyone ended the episode saying: I ship it, more of that - which they did give us, just one episode later. They had some awkward moments, yet the show never left a single doubt in your mind where this is heading.
Now look at Eddie and Ana:
First of all we learned more about Doctor Hale in the two short scenes than we did about Ana in four scenes. That seems deliberate.
Second, while we do realise Eddie thinks Ana is attractive from the get go she repeatedly shuts him down by pointedly saying „Mr. Diaz“.
Third, every scene between Michael and Doctor Hale was romantically coded and we know where this was heading while aside from the initial scene between Ana and Eddie and maybe the second scene there were no hints of romance between the two. In fact in 3.15, an episode that is about Eddie moving forward in his life and letting go of the past she is both mentioned and actually appears, yet there are no hints of romance and romantic interest, not from Eddie and not in form of teasing from Buck and especially Carla, who pointed out Eddie’s interest in her previously. Soooooo…
Parallels with Love Interests
Now, obviously we also cannot talk Buddie without talking about them dating in general and then relating this to each other. In other news: there are parallels between each and every love interest Eddie ever had and Buck and also between Eddie and Abby.
(Side note: I could probably also find parallels between Eddie and Taylor and Eddie and Ali but tbh both of these barely qualify as love interests, especially Ali, who despite actually being in a relationship with Buck we know nothing about (hi, original Ana! You did good and I am sorry people hate you for having boundaries!))
Eddie paralleling Abby
I mean the truth is we don’t even need Eddie paralleling any other girlfriend of Buck cause there are so many between Abby and Eddie!
- Abby and Carla vs. Eddie and Carla:
The biggest one might be parallel that both employ Carla and why. Which is in part because Buck brought Carla to Eddie but goes deeper than that.
There is that conversation between Bobby and Buck about Abby and her mother in 1.09 when Buck wanted to break up with Abby and Bobby basically said: if you wanna date someone you have to love them baggage and all and should be there for them as well - and while Buck did try doing that with Abby, well, Patricia died before he could fully step into the ring and then Abby left, BUT he showed no hesitation after that to step right into Eddie’s life, into his issues, with him. And he even brought in Carla as a baggage carrier, isn’t that nice?
Also the whole reason why they need Carla around in the first place as both of them are taking care of a family member (plus the fact that Christopher is a literal child so even without CP Eddie would need help taking care of him working the hours he has).
Also tía Pepa quite literally calls Eddie a saint and I am pretty sure Abby was called sth similar by Carla and Bobby in Season 1 though I don’t care enough to check mainly because the implication was there all through the first ten episodes about how Abby was such a great person for taking care of her ailing mother.
But really it comes down to the parallels between Bobby telling Buck that a real relationship is about sharing the load and the conversation between Maddie and Buck as well as anything else in 2.04 where Buck is so desperate to be there for Eddie and help him.
- There is also a definite parallel to be drawn between the conversation Abby and Buck had in the Jeep while looking for her mom about how Abby hasn’t had sex in a year and Buck asking Eddie about dating in 2.04. It’s a little subtextual, but between the expression on his face and the topic and the teasing and the walking shoulder to shoulder it does feel alike to me so I mentioned it.
- street fighting vs. the apology: losing yourself
Now this one I love a lot because while it does happen half a season apart and isn’t explicitly expressed on the show: Eddie’s whole ark in Season 3a is about losing control and by extent losing himself because Buck wasn’t around. Abby meanwhile talks about how she found herself after she left LA and how she would have lost herself again if she returned to Buck (which is absolute bullcrap but not the point).
- There are also some parallels to be drawn between Buck, Eddie, Abby and Shannon (and technically also Maddie) and the whole leaving each other thing, with Eddie leaving Shannon for the army without consulting her about it while Abby left Buck for Ireland and then also the lawsuit where in a way Buck left Eddie like Shannon did, being so caught up in his own feelings he didn’t consider what Eddie (and Christopher) were going through.
But we can also acknowledge how it must have felt to Buck with Lena / Eddie taking Bobby’s side like he was once again replaced / left for someone else, much like Abby left him for Ireland and Maddie left him for Doug.
Buck paralleling Ana, Lena and Shannon
Buck on the other hand side parallels Eddie’s love interest a lot sometimes down to the clothes (and yes, technically Lena isn’t a love interest but Ryan Guzman thought she was and aside from the fact that he’s into women that could beat him up (which for once, not judging you, bro) and considering the parallels with Buck … that means if Buck was a woman, well, ya know?) so let’s talk about that
- Buck and Shannon:
I’ve already talked about that one a lot so I will only mention it here real quick but the whole Eddie not trusting Shannon vs. trusting Buck despite his betrayal again like right away once he apologised (which yes, what Buck did was not as bad and far more justified) and letting him back into Christopher’s life IS a parallel, considering for example how Shannon asks about Chris missing her (though it’s been over two years, at one point children just stop asking as we know Chris did) and Eddie telling Buck Chris misses him in the grocery store scene.
Also Eddie not trusting his wife and Chris’ mother with him fully even after they reconciled and him telling Buck he was the one he trusted most in the world when it came to his son is … something.
There is also a little parallel to be drawn between 2.17 when Shannon goes for ice cream with Christopher and Abuela and Eddie is all like, well, don’t come crying to me when he won’t sleep because sugar high and saying basically the same thing to Hen and Chimney in 3.02 when they ask about „Operation: Buck up Buck“ because Chris ate loads of pancakes.
Also Shannon in 2.07 said she needed Eddie to have her back and Eddie says he always did but Shannon disagrees (which might be a little how Buck felt with the lawsuit) and you know, Buck and him agreed to have each other’s backs just six episodes earlier.
- Buck and Lena:
 Now, with Lena, despite her being most connected to Eddie, the first (and second) time we actually see her is in 3.01/3.02 through Buck, which connects the two from the get go.
Eddie then finds out she was at the pier in 3.02 (before meeting her) just like Buck (though he doesn’t know that) and then meets her in 3.03 and she spends the whole episode running around LA trying to find her Captain while injured, much like Buck is doing in the same episode.
I also mentioned in my meta-series how I think one of the reasons why Eddie likes Buck so much was that Buck wasn’t impressed by his military background like everyone else (or his looks, I mean, it was probably more about his looks tbh) and how when Buck started liking him it was really about Eddie and not whatever he had heard about him - yet Buck was / is still never afraid to call him out bullshit, much like Lena from moment one.
There is also the fact that Eddie goes to her for advice and she literally uses Buck’s locker (and will I ever stop laughing about the tape? Probably not, I think it was hilarious, okay?)?
Then of course we have Buck in 3.04 reacting quite similar to seeing her for the first time as he did with Eddie in 2.01, even saying basically the same thing.
- Buck and Ana
Now, Ana is an interesting case because we see her a total of four times and she is mentioned two more times throughout the show and each and every single moment is connected to Buck somehow and sometimes so very unsubtle to.
In „Fools“ we cut from Buck saying he likes being single to Eddie doing parent-teacher conference and yes, meeting some other teachers first but also Ana, showing us that while Buck is fine with being single - Eddie might not be. And then Eddie introduces himself as Eddie and Ana knows immediately this is short for Edmundo - unlike Buck in 2.01 who guessed Eduardo? Also, Carla’s „big blue eyes“ line which is a little clown-y, so take it with a grain of salt that it could connect us to Buck.
Then of course her next scene is Eddie getting in her face about Christopher being hurt. Later in the episode we see Buck reference this on a call, meaning either Carla or Eddie told Buck about it (I am leaning a little toward Carla making fun of Eddie in front of Buck and Eddie then having to come clean about all of it, because I cannot wrap my head about the idea of Eddie telling Buck about having a crush, I’m sorry.) (And will I ever be over Buck being so gleeful that Eddie will now be dating the teacher after all? Because boy was close to cackling which even if he was in love with Eddie at the time and therefore happy he wasn’t off the market - still quite rude for a best friend if you ask me! Like, sure, do that but in front of strangers?)
Her next scene is Eddie coming to apologise to her and she gives her speech about limitations - which we can of course connect to Buck and Eddie talking about Christopher and his limitations before that and then afterwards going skateboarding with them. (It does feel a little deliberate.)
And then of course we have „Eddie Begins“ and you guys, they could have very very easily have either Carla or Buck make a joke about Mrs. Flores and Eddie’s crush in the firehouse scene, but they didn’t! And then we do get to see her at the end where she has one whole line and Eddie barely looks at her and you know what happens? They have a child ask the same question Buck asked at the beginning about ever just wearing the medal (which sounded very not straight in its delivery, Mr Stark, what were you thinking about?), making us think of Buck. Like, it would have been enough to establish Eddie doesn’t feel like a hero if the question was asked only once - twice in the span of 45 minutes constitutes a callback, meaning we are supposed to think of the other scene and that means thinking about the other person that asked, which was Buck.
Is this … flirting
Now, some of these are quite ambiguous but there are several scenes that imply they consider each other attractive or feel like flirting and here they are:
- 2.01: „I think I’ve seen this in porn before“
Now, we all know Buck’s initial dislike of Eddie was about Eddie being to good at the job and Buck being afraid of being replaced, but considering one of the first things we hear about Eddie is Hen saying that boy is so fine it transcends sexualities and considering they talked about the calendar which chooses them based on hotness just before and then all the references to the calendar throughout, it stands to reason that Buck considers Eddie attractive.
Also their whole conversation during the gym scene, what was any of that? I mean, Buck thinks the pictures of Eddie are professionally done which means he thinks they are good which means, yes, Buck thinks Eddie looks good in those!
Plus the whole scene is riddled with (sexual) tension. From Buck constantly increasing the weight he is lifting, while throwing looks at Eddie as if double checking that he sees he could bench press him and the way he gets in Eddie’s face to Eddie’s veiled barbs about the girlfriend breaking up with him and doing the same thing as a firefighter but he was getting shot at. I mean, what was that if not the beginning of a porno? (And here we have our first parallel between Buck and Eddie as we find out later because Eddie, too, has been left by a woman. Now the real question would be does he consider them broken up?
Not to mention that when Bobby tells him at the end of the episode that he wasn’t chosen Buck immediately assumes Eddie was and also is so very happy for his new friend, because he thinks he’s hot (right?).
- 2.04: „Hearteyes, motherforker“
In 2.08 Buck has a conversation with Chimney about his pick up technique and well, did anyone in production watch this episode because when Buddie walks away from tailpipe-girl-emergency he literally does everything he described.
Also Maddie says the words „Does this man crush on Eddie mean you are finally over Abby?“ to Buck and his only reaction is „Cute.“ meaning one) Maddie has teased him about his Eddie gushing before and two) maybe Buck does have a bit of a crush?
- 2.06: „Bucky Barnes murder strut - 911 edition“
Again with the Maddie and Buck scenes!
Basically what happened was Maddie talked about how cute Chimney was but Buck assumed she meant Eddie because apparently if someone says cute, Buck thinks Eddie. This is just a fact, okay?
- 2.14: „‚It’s a miracle… bro #nohomo’“
Like my name for the episode already says, there is this scene were Buck and Eddie stand next to each other and Eddie says „That was incredible!“ and Buck who is already standing in Eddie’s space leans in further to basically whisper the words „It’s a miracle.“ into Eddie’s ears and then lean back a little and I am not sure if that wouldn’t fit better with Subtext but also Buck looks at Eddie like he wants to eat him alive and Eddie looks like he would let him and say thank you after while still embarrassed because he cries during sex.
You know, acting.
- 3.04 „discount!Buck in the house!“
Listen, I am convinced this is all Ryan considering the reaction of Kenny / Chimney and Aisha / Hen but that doesn’t change the fact that they used a take which had Eddie stare at Oliver / Buck’s butt the whole time and I mean, what horrible things happened in the other takes that made production choose this one unless they want us to see Eddie looking at Buck’s butt while Chimney and Hen stand around looking amused?
- 3.09: „#tw: mild adult themes & implied sexual content / #pwp - porn without porn“
Listen, from the moment Buck says „Cause you would prefer working it out in the ring?“ and then does this dorky thing with his arms while Eddie smirks into his beer about how he fought in a cage not fenced in (which, I’m a little unclear on the distinction I think, but I am nitpicky af so who am I to judge? Probably just stuff getting lost in translation) that whole scene changes vibes, going from apologising to teasing. And I think it’s very interesting that this is when Buck chooses to come closer (and then keep coming closer until he is right in Eddie’s personal space while touching his belt which we all learned by now means he is thinking about sex) and they have this whole conversation about who could take who which happens in sort of half sentences and does not feel like they are talking about fighting each other at all.
I mean, Buck keep coming closer, while Eddie stands there rooted to his spot, leaning against the bar, smirking, like every hot guy in a bar ever who knows one smile and a bit of smolder and they will come to him (which Buck does, playing right into it, I mean, come on, bro, weren’t you once a serial dater? How do you not know how to play hard to get?) and holding the beer (you know, phallic shaped obj- okay, I’ll stop here, it’s a reach), occasionally drinking, like maybe he tries to draw attention to somewhere or he has a very dry throat and honestly: this is how porn starts!
I don’t think my writing (or anyone’s writing really, not that ya’ll aren’t talented af) can properly express how very not platonic and innuendo-heavy this scene felt.
- 3.13: „‚Bro, what if I flirted with you in a bowling alley while out on a call?‘ - ‚Bro, what if I invited you out to lunch after telling a friend to say I love you before it’s too late?‘ - ‚BRO 😍‘“
Again, the title gives everything away but like so many scenes between these boys that moment at the bowling alley when Buck channels Arnie and Eddie is all: you’re a dork and also wrong! and then later when Eddie invites Buck to get lunch (which is sort of Eddie’s thing, remember 2.01?) after earlier telling Chimney to tell Maddie he loves her if he has a chance because he might regret it. And to really drive the point home or maybe make it in the first place, after Eddie asks Buck - and only Buck - to have lunch with him, Buck then declines because of a little blood (Evan, come one, you’ve seen worse! I know I have!) - only for Chimney to consider this the push he needed to invite Maddie for dinner so he can tell her he loves her.
So, you know, platonic.
- 3.16: „The rope was a metaphor after all“
I mean, what was that scene in the locker even with Eddie leaning against the doorway all cheeky and grinning like: yeah, come hang out with me! - obviously it was about Buck never saying yes to babysit a group of nine-year olds when he could be out drinking (as someone who works with kids, I approve), but yeah, that’s not what it felt like? So unless ya’ll cannot act anymore this was deliberately a bit over the top and ambiguous.
Jealousy
Now, no good ship works without jealousy and neither does Buddie so here are some examples of Buddie being jealous.
- 2.06: „Bucky Barnes murder strut - 911 edition“
Now, your probably saying: Bucky Barnes murder strut? That’s a tall order! But damn, Ryan nailed that, okay? Listen, we’ve seen Eddie walk out of uniform several times at this point and NEVER before and never after has he struted this predatory. Eddie walks tall and military, you know, the way he stands, Eddie doesn’t strut!
Yet, here he does! And what I love about this scene is that we see him in the background while Bobby talks to Taylor, working out with no care in the world - and then Buck comes over and flirts with her, suddenly Eddie feels the need to be part of the conversation?
And he doesn’t even wait until he is standing next to them to talk, he calls over while still sitting on the lifting things.
So yeah, that one is him being jealous.
- 2.10: „It’s all about ‚not my business‘“
- Now 2.10 is a great episode for Buddie and in part it is due to Buck’s facial expressions in the background and out of focus of the camera when Shannon comes to the station.
I mean, Oliver always plays Buck very intense and expressive and with his whole face but that was a bit much, you’d think he just found out Eddie broke a vow of chastity or had an affair while being married (which technically is what Buck compares it to later so kinda makes sense he looks like that but also doesn’t, Buckeroo, what’s the big deal? Did Eddie show up at your doorstep a week earlier telling you what a punk ass bitch his wife was, or…?)
- 2.17: „*fridges female character for man pain* Haha, we’re so random!“
„Talk to Bobby. Maybe he can get you guys a discount.“: There is a point to be made about Buck just not liking Shannon considering everything he knows about her and has heard about her, the same way Eddie doesn’t Abby, but still. This scene and this line, Buck does not sound happy for Eddie or truly interested and yeah, it’s off and it seems jealous.
- 3.04 „discount!Buck in the house!“
It’s actually not just my interpretation, it’s actually - between the similarities to 2.01 and everything that happens after with the lawsuit and how Buck explains himself - literal text that Buck was jealous here with Lena. So there!
- 3.09: „#tw: mild adult themes & implied sexual content / #pwp - porn without porn“
Tim Minear please send me over some scripts or have someone call me and explain what they were going for with the „You had sex with your therapist?“-scene because Eddie was so huffy and offended and I need to know!
- 3.12: „There’s a horse loose in a hos… school“
Buck sounds awfully gleeful Eddie will probably not date Christopher’s teacher and while that might just be him making fun of his best friend being so very overprotective and short tempered when it comes to his son (Mr. Control has left the building!), still, it reads a little like jealousy over some unknown pretty woman Chris might have mentioned some time and Carla probably described in great detail when she told Buck all about Eddie losing his cool!
- 3.17: „LegsTM“
It’s technically not really a jealous moment because it’s not Eddie being jealous but Buck simply refusing to mention his ex-girlfriend here, but considering 3.18 and also and most importantly the fact that there are only two other people in the truck, one being an unknown firefighter driving the truck and the other Bobby, who very much knows how Buck was supposed to take a hot air balloon ride with Abby, for who but Eddie was Buck concealing her identity for because Bobby already knows?
There really is only Eddie left, who probably figures out what Buck was about as well because bro may not be Buck and his out of the box thinking smart but he is fucking smart and he can figure shit out as well! Yet Buck refuses to mention Abby’s name and for what? So he can pretend Bobby and Eddie don’t know he is still bitter about her? I mean, fucking hell, send over the motherforking scripts, Minear, I am done with you!
- 3.18: „Traincrash? More like train WRECK? *cries*“
While I think Eddie is being more protective than jealous here, he is awfully involved and he is uncharacteristically out of control and emotional here and I wanna know why? Does Abby being back remind you of Shannon? Is it jealousy? WHAT IS GOING ON??? WHY YOU SO MAD, ARMY BOY???
Subtext
Now, I am first gonna talk about Subtext things in general like clothing choices, music and cuts between scenes and I am gonna be honest, I probably missed quite a few!
- One of my favourite is that while Buck wears the same colours in 3.03 as Shannon does in 2.07, Eddie wears the same exact shirt - and considering the fact that Ryan got buff between Season 2 and 3 that was deliberate, someone bought that shirt again because we are supposed to connect these scenes with each other!
- As I wrote before in 2.10 we can see Buck and his reaction out of focus when Shannon comes to the firehouse to talk to Eddie and ya know, why?
- Tim Minear himself said the elf in 2.10 was an easter egg for us Buddie shippers and he also said we can make out of the fountain in the background what we want, so there, Buddie is talking about Shannon and Eddie having sex and how much that messes shit up while a fountain shoots water in the background and yes, that is an innuendo and subtext and I hate it a little.
- 2.13 has this hospital scene I love a lot and you know what? Buddie is basically dressed the same, because the subtext of this scene is these two are alike and connected and they GET EACH OTHER.
- Another scene I really love is in 3.01 when Buck comes in for the surprise party because not only does he not hug his sister or Athene but runs up to Eddie first, Bobby actually shoves Eddie at Buck so he is the first person Buck hugs (and then the hug itself, what was that? The way they hold onto each other for a moment just looking while their hips are still touching?! Is that how you two hug because I want in!).
- Also they are dressed basically the same, should we discuss this as well?
- And still in 3.01 when Buck thanks Bobby and they talk and Bobby tells Buck he’ll find someone better and then asks him if he is doing okay, the first person the show cuts to is - nope, not Evan Buckley’s sister who is also there but his best friend, Eddie! Jup!
- And still in 3.01 when the firefam talks about helping Buck in the firehouse, Eddie first acts dismissive but the scene ends with Bobby saying Buck has them even though he may not believe that right now and half of that is said while the camera is on Eddie’s face who looks thoughtful - only to cut from them to Maddie and Josh discussing the same thing and mainly how Maddie doesn’t know how to help Buck and what he needs from her. Which you know, the episode ends with Eddie basically giving Buck a swift kick in the butt like she though he might need (and then 3.03 has Eddie basically telling Buck everything is gonna be okay, so we see Maddie talking about helping Buck but never see her doing it and instead we get two scenes of Eddie being there for Buck and also no Maddie in relation to the lawsuit but an extreme focus on Eddie? Writers, I see you and you aren’t wrong!)
- Also worth another mention is the cut between Madney talking about children, saying Buck didn’t have any either - to Eddie waking up Buck so he can babysit Christopher and specifically calling Buck „his Buck“ to make us think on their relationship and let us know how close they are and also to tell us to not trusts everything Maddie says about her brother because she gets shit wrong.
- In 3.03 after Buck tells Eddie he lost Christopher and then Eddie sees Christopher and rushes over and and Buck collapses and while Eddie holds Chris after he checked for injuries and Chim and Hen and Bobby hold Buck and Bobby asks Buck if he is okay, well, this whole time Buck is staring at Chris and Eddie and Eddie is staring back at him and Bobby, if you wanna know about me, gotta tell you, I am not okay?!
- And then we have the loft scene and yeah, okay, this deserves 5000 words of his own, from the fact that they played „Photograph“ by Ed Sheeran which includes lyrics about how they will never be alone and how loving can heal and mend your soul and the fucking song ends on the words „Wait for me to come home“ just as Eddie knocks and brings Christopher over and tells Buck there is no one he trusts more with Christopher than Buck and I am sorry, what are we supposed to think here? This show is from the US, these people speak english, it’s not like these lyrics leave much room for interpretation!
Not to mention the whole monologue Buck did about being lost and not knowing how to get from where you want to be to where you need to be before Eddie showed up and then talking about how a few choice words can sometimes be the life raft one needs to get home and how we are all just searching for someone to see us? I love Maddie and I love the Buckley siblings, but damn, she’s not the one he has been searching for!
(And I keep bringing up Maddie here because as his sister she is the person Buck could feel closest to and should care about the most and be cared about the most by and yet all canon evidence points to Eddie being that person! Also she is the person next to Eddie Buck has the most scenes outside the firehouse with.)
- This one is a bit of a stretch but Buck looks very uncomfortable during the whole deposition in 3.05 but he looks everyone in the eyes until the lawyer mentions Shannon and suddenly his lap is so much more interesting and yes, after is when all of them get asked the really hurtful question but still, this is when Buck stops being despondent and realises, fuck, I went a bit to far
- Someone please find for me where the director talked about purposely framing them as romantic in the apology scene because I cannot find the post for the life of me, but never the less: In 3.06 during the apology, in the beginning of the scene we see Buddie from quite a distance and Eddie has his back turned toward Buck and there is a column in the shot to visually indicate the divide and yeah, the whole framing is quite something and the way the camera angle goes from far away making it seem like unbridgeable distance cutting to closer shots and how we slowly see alongside the words hey, they aren’t actually that far apart, like yeah, this scene was something else!
- Not a direct cut but during therapy Eddie talks about how he wants to be at home with Chris because he is the one good thing he has going for him and the one thing he gets enjoyment out of (because he is so fucking depressed and I cry), yet when we later see Chris and Eddie together it is neither in Eddie’s house nor are they alone, nope Buck is there as well, meaning Buck is considered a part of that one thing even if he wasn’t explicitly mentioned!
- During 3.10 when they take the photo with all of them Buck is grouped between Madney and the Diaz family, like right between and not just next to them. Also earlier when the eat Buck sits next to Christopher who sits next to Eddie and therefore on the opposite side of his sister and her boyfriend.
- Yes, they were probably amused by the meddling mom asking then „Are you boys single?“ in 3.11 but come on! They look at each other and smirk? For real? Hand over the script, Timbo!
- Also as mentioned before the fact that when Chim and Eddie talk about family and the 118 being the family they choose the camera is on Albert, Buck and Christopher, no one else is in the shot. And of course the song that is playing here, another song about home.
- The callback to Buck in 3.12 of Ana immediately guessing Eddie is short for Edmundo unlike Buck as well as Carla saying blue eyes (which Buck has) is also Subtext.
- Said it before but: the scene in 3.13 when they arrive at the hospital and Eddie asks Buck out to eat and then Buck changes his mind but Chimney runs off to call his girlfriend because he wants to have dinner so he can tell her he loves her like Eddie told him to do at the beginning of the episode is … interesting.
- I already explained why I think Shannon wasn’t in that many scenes in the video in 3.15 yet Buck was in most of them but it bears repeating. Also again it’s subtext that Buck is part of Eddie’s family and Buck is very important to Eddie and Eddie loves Buck.
- Also the question about the medal in 3.15 and the little boy at the end repeating the question, sorry, were we not supposed to think of Buck here, Tim???
- Also just in general 3.15 focuses very very heavily on Buck and Buck’s reaction - much like 3.18 later does with Eddie. All the non-Eddie scenes feature Buck and Buck freaking out about Eddie potentially dying and Buck making plans and being frantic and the driving force of hope cause homeboy cannot even for a second entertain any thoughts on Eddie’s passing.
- The rope metaphor in 3.15 / 3.16 is of course also subtext but I already explained that one and don’t have anything to add really.
- This one is a little bit of a stretch but I do think there is a reason Eddie was the first one to be taken out of the equation in 3.16 and because of his son and not a love interest.
- Also the pool playing scene in 3.16 there visually we see Eddie and Buck together in nearly all shots, there are two shots of Eddie without Buck in it but not a single one of Buck without Eddie in it and considering camera angles and actors literally being told were to stand it is deliberate that Buck is only seen with Eddie by his side here.
- I’m repeating a lot of things here but Buck refuses to say Abby’s name in 3.17 even though Bobby clearly knows who he is talking about.
- „No. He stopped waiting for me a long time ago.“ cuts to „Summer Camp?“ I mean sorry, what were we supposed to think here? Because this does imply he really did stop waiting because now he has Christopher and Eddie!
- Not to mention it sort of hammers home what I wrote before how Abby is dating a single father and Buck is sort of dating a single father.
- Also 3.18 puts a lot of focus in general on Eddie and his reaction to everything when say, Bobby, who actually knows Abby and was there for the relationship would have made more sense - unless they are pushing an agenda here!
The first person we have Abby interacting with at the traincrash is Eddie and then Buck joins them and the scene literally goes: Eddie *talking to Abby* > cut to Buck, coming closer > Buck: „Abby?“ > cut to both Abby and *Eddie* > Abby: „Buck?“ while the camera is still on her and Eddie > cut to just Eddie’s face having a realisation > cut to Buck
So sorry, why do we focus so much on Eddie here, Mrs. Lynch? Is there a particular reason, oh director, who art also directed 3.01 and which has also loads of Buddie subtext?
There is also Eddie coming to stand visually between Abby and Buck when Sam is loaded into the ambulance as if he is physically putting himself between them and then Buck running back toward the traincrash and Eddie following him after and all the shots of them and Christopher during the party together and once again having Bobby asking Buck if he is okay visually connected to Eddie, though in reverse this time because the scene goes from Eddie and Chris having fun to Buck and Bobby talking. (And should we talk about how this is the first time Buck actually answers the question because finally he has an answer or are we thinking about that right before sleep today when it’s easier to cry?)
- Also very interesting subtext is the fact that Buck and Eddie wear nearly the exact same colour and a similar cut pullover when Buck talks to Abby at the end and when Eddie says goodbye to Christopher and I mean, thematically both scenes are about saying good bye and letting someone go? But also it connects Buddie with each other and connects these scenes, which Idc, I probably wouldn’t have done without the clothes?
Not sold seperatly
- Also subtext / visual thing is the fact that Buddie is basically always with and next to each other at the firehouse and on calls (and before anyone says: well, they are partners, Hen and Chim aren’t as much), and that is a long list so I am just giving examples: in 2.05 they sit next to each other at the table while in 2.06 they sit next to each other on the couch and in 3.08 they sit next to each other at the table again and then we have 2.02 standing outside and 2.04 walking away from the scene together and Eddie handing Buck a weapon in 3.17 and walking toward the ambulance together in 3.13 and several other times, the point is there are a shit ton of scenes of them being right next to each other in case you thought that was a fanfic thing!
„The Buck lens“ / „The Eddie lens“
I’m pretty sure there is an actual technical term for what I am trying to describe here but basically there are several instances where we see Eddie the way Buck does, meaning while the scene shows us Eddie doing something the focus is on Buck watching this. Sort of POV but not quite I guess? Also the reverse is true as well, even if those scene aren’t as pronounced!
- Let’s talk about 2.01 once again as we have done for most of this meta and finally, finally look at Eddie’s first scene which we all know is sort of gay and the first time we see Ryan shirtless because Tim accidentally wrote a certain quota of shirtless scenes he needed to do into Ryan’s contract and he needed to get started on those right away.
Also please remember while we as well as the core four are watching Eddie get dressed „Watta man“ plays in the background, which, considering we are introduced to Eddie through Buck’s point of view might be the song playing in his head here? Anyways, back to the topic at hand and how we as the viewers don’t see Eddie until Buck turns around and sees him as well. Which is significant because several times through the conversation between Buck, Hen, Bobby and Chimney we see the locker room in the background so they could have filmed that differently.
Instead they had Chim, who stands off centre, noticing something while Buck banters with Bobby about how he will get to represent the 118 in the calendar, then the camera changes angle so we no longer stand between Bobby and Chimney but rather behind Buck, making him centre stage and putting a focus on his reaction to Eddie. In this scene we have Buck framed by two people commenting on Eddie’s attractiveness. Now we don’t get to see Eddie until we have gotten all reactions of the core four to him, with special attention to Buck, both in filming and text with everyone taking a jab at Buck before walking over to introduce themselves to Eddie which leaves Buck alone, watching.
(Now keep in mind this scene also has Hen basically say Eddie is so hot it transcends sexualities while „Whatta man“ plays as Buck slowly turns around and Idk, mate, that does seem shippy to me.)
- Another scene that focuses very heavily on Buck is when Eddie rushes and hugs Chris at the end of 2.03. In fact for most of the scene we see Buck in the car watching them.
- Also, the hospital scene in 2.04 and how once again we see Eddie interact with Chris while Eddie watches them because fuck knows why.
- Similar to the Buck lens we have 3.10 where Eddie talks to Hen about Chris while the two (or rather Eddie since he sits at the centre) watch Buck play with Chris and Danny. This is significant because Buck is also placed in the middle, putting him opposite Eddie and also making him the focus of the camera for most shots when the scene was about Christopher and Eddie feeling guilty. Huh, we say!
- Something similar happens in 3.11, which is the next episode several months removed when Eddie talks to Chimney about the 118 being their family and while this time Chris is the one sitting in the front, Buck once again is in the middle and also in focus in a scene shot from Eddie’s POV.
Other people reacting to them / commenting on them
Now, I am not sure if this is really Subtext but who knows where else it fits in? (This is a rhetorical question, only my opinion counts around here while I write!) So It goes here! And I think the title is self-explanatory enough.
- I’m a little on the fence on the Bobby looks because - no offence to Peter Krause - he doesn’t have that many facial expressions in general, but yeah, at the mechanics Buck watches Eddie and Bobby watches Buck.
- Our first real one of those scene is the truly savage tía Pepa who is a woman after my own heart because she says the mean shit to your face and the nice things behind your back because she loves you but she loves vibe checking egos more! And well, she is understandably confused by Buck’s being there at the hospital and asks Eddie who that is and why he is here and gives one of the best lines of the show by being so sarcastic, because oh, you work together? Damn, wouldn’t have guessed from the fact that both of you wear LAFD t-shirts! (I love her!)
- In the same episode Maddie comments on Buck’s boycrush on Eddie and while I am unsure whether that is supposed to make it sound less gay or it’s Maddie saying: Bro, you sound 12! but oh well! It’s a comment on them!
- I loath a little to include the elf in 2.10 because Tim has said that was an easter egg for Buddie shippers and a tongue in cheek thing but yeah.
- Also Bobby watches the whole „It’s a miracle“ exchange in 2.14 with that look.
- In 2.18 we get some text on the screen when they help instagram girl about how hot the both of them are and also how THEY should be dating which I’m putting into the same box as 2.10.
- The fact that Bobby shoves Eddie at Buck in 3.01, like sorry, why was it so relevant that this is the first hug?
- When Eddie / Ryan stared at Buck’s / Oliver’s ass in 3.04 we see Hen and Chimney grin about it.
- I know I have said myself that Maddie’s reaction in 3.08 was due to the fact that she just said: can ya’ll stop gossiping - and Chim and Buck were like: sure thing! and then started gossiping but still.
- There is Buddie flirting at the bowling alley in 3.13 and once again Bobby gives them the look and yeah.
- In 3.15 everyone seems very worried about Buck especially and they keep reassuring as if he were Eddie’s next of kin.
- Again a Bobby look I am unsure of but in 3.17 we see him giving them the look in the truck and yeah.
Other people’s heartache
Now, as I’ve said in the beginning, I didn’t wanna just include my perspective on Buddie, so I asked a few other people about this and while this isn’t a representative statistical number it’s still interesting, right?
(Also originally this Guide was organised by episode and I would have included the comments when the things came up but alas that didn’t work and I think I turned a little grey because of that)
@buckleysbabe:
When i first watched 9-1-1, I had no idea that Buddie existed (i hadn’t been on tumblr a lot at the time so I hadn’t seen gifs or anything) and when i started s2 I really thought they were just best friends, but then 2x10 and the ”you two have an adorable son” scene happened and Buck’s ”thank you” and the shy smile AND I WAS ON BOARD!! That was really the first moment, then I got the confirmation after 3x03 and the scene where Buck sees Eddie in the tsunami scenery, and then the whole Eddie saying theres nobody in this world....like in that moment I felt like they were seriously in love 😍❤️
About the 2x10: that scene has so many things. Like the water fountain in the back, Chris in the scene with them (like they are a family), then the elf saying what she said, Buck being for a second like ”huh?” and then you see the light bulb going on when he’s like ”ohhhhhhhh yeah” and then he says thank you 😍😍😍 saying HE IS CHRIS’S COPARENT. AND THEN THE SHY SMILE
@theleftboobgrabber
Right off the bat I thought they had chemistry but I think the entirety of 2×04 is when I genuinely started shipping it. Like.... the constant heart eyes, the support, Buck trying so hard to be there for Eddie and Eddie absolutely never questioning it, the look Buck gives Eddie at the fire house was absolute fire (when Bobby tells Eddie Buck asked for Chris to stay with them) like Eddie's like you did this for me??? And Buck has just this massive Big Buck Energy from where he's sitting like "get used to it" and I remember absolutely loosing my mind that Bobby got the hug and not Buck at the end of the scene like in what universe??? And yeah the rest of the episode is just the same but that feeling of 'that's the wrong man you're hugging' was the tipping point
@emotionalsupportfirefam
Okay so mine was kinda two moments?1) when Buck took Eddie to Chris' school after the earthquake and we see his reaction to Eddie's joy and relief as he holds Christopher and then spends the next episode trying to find ways to help Eddie with finding a suitable caregiver/ support for Chris and 2) the fact the took them whole of five minutes to go from 'rivals' to the 'dynamic duo' after the grenade call.
@evaneddie
Honestly? Literally every scene they have is romantically coded. The first scene of them, with Eddie being shirtless and us seeing it from Buck's perspective with „Whatta Man“ playing? That's subtext.
You can have my back any day? Yo.
The scene when the elf Blair(e) said they have an adorable son and Buck just said thank you instead of correcting her before he literally skipped away?
Eddie showing up at Buck's apartment and Buck not even questioning how he got in?
The way Buck is like a second father to Chris and protects him like one in the tsunami?
"THERE'S NOBODY IN THIS WORLD I TRUST WITH MY SON MORE THAN YOU"?! REALLY EDDIE? WHAT ABOUT LITERALLY ANY OF YOUR FAMILY? OR CARLA? Baby, that's love.
THE HALLOWEEN HUG?!
THE KITCHEN SCENE, THE WHOLE SEXUAL TENSION IN THAT SCENE?! BUCK'S HAND ON HIS BELT, THE GLANCES, "I'D STILL TAKE YOU", ON THE COUCH EDDIE LOOKS TO BUCK'S LAP, LIKE COME ON!
"You boys single?" *Looks at each other*
"This is Eddie's house, I'm not really a guest"
Buck's breakdown when he lost Eddie under 40 feet of mud. That was not the breakdown of losing a friend, that was the breakdown on losing someone you love. There's a meta I saw once literally just for this scene alone, the way Buck dug so desperately at the mud with his bare hands, the screams of heartbreak, the way he collapsed into Bobby, the pure dissociation as Bobby was giving instructions later on, Eddie's memories filled mostly with Christopher and Buck. Sure, the others were there, but, it was FILLED with Buck and Chris.
Then the ending scene of the season?! What was he trying to do with the necklaces? Thrusting his hips towards Eddie, hitting him in the face, then that soft touch on his face?
@adamngoodbuck
Hey! Nice question and for me really easy to answer. I started watching the show back in 2018 when it first aired but I was a casual viewer. Very casual. So casual I actually watched everything up to 2x10 and then I thought it was the season finale so I forgot about it. And then season 3 started. And nothing made sense. So I checked and welp, I had to catch up. And I did and something started brewing inside of me. I wasn't part of the fandom yet. And then. The THE SEARCHERS happened. And that scene. The there's nobody in this world I trust with my son more than you scene. My icon scene. And I was done. Hook, line and sinker.
@the-family-we-choose-118 
My main ones were all the big ones: the kitchen scene, the end of 3x03, the Christmas episode one where Buck is helping Danny and Chris make gingerbread houses and then plans a whole party for the firefam, Buck clawing at the ground in 3x15, Eddie interrupting Taylor Kelly when she came to the station to do the documentary in Dosed, the fact that Eddie was introduced from Buck's POV with „Whatta Man“, the entire earthquake episode where Buck is reassuring Eddie his kid is okay and then drives him to get his kid later on, and the scene where Buck introduces Eddie to Carla in (I'm pretty sure it's) the same episode where Maddie asks him if his boy crush on Eddie means he's over Abby (that was my main one). And I was fully convinced when Eddie walked in Buck's apartment in the beginning of S3 and ripped his blankets off him and was so sure he doesn't sleep naked/wouldn't have anybody over.
And the „official“ part of the guide is done but I do wanna say something else real quick which is:
You have just read about 20.000 words I painstakingly wrote over the course of several weeks and while I get that meta is even more harrowing to reblog than gifsets or fics because meta involves so much opinion and interpretation and what if you disagree with parts of it?
Well, again, I invested a lot of time in this and also: IF YOU DISAGREE TELL ME!!! TELL ME IN THE REBLOG OR IN THE TAGS!!! Because different to fics and gifsets meta is a dialog and I can’t have a dialog unless people talk to me! I’m not here to lecture you on right or wrong, I am here to tell you: okay, this is how the scene looks from my point of view, what do you say? So honestly, please consider liking and reblogging and tagging and maybe talking a little about it with me, because screaming into the void is so very boring
(And also in general: reblog reblog reblog! All these funny posts you see on buzzfeed and instagram screenshoted from tumblr? Half of them were made great by reblogs and all of them were noticed by these sites because of reblogs)
Anyways, before I (REALLY) let you go it would be hypocritical now to not talk about some people who inspired some of this (but ya’ll have to understand I cannot talk about everyone)!
I can however say these four especially helped me write this:
- @diggorypuff , who I have never talked to but whose posts about interesting parallels actually sort of got me into thinking deeper about this show: (X)
- @ingu, who fairly recently did a series of gifsets on Buddie and how Buck is framed as Eddie’s love interest which gave me life: (X)
- @matan4il, who is such an amazing friend and does the most concice and well thought out metas on Buddie without having to watch the show a million times like other people we shall not name have to (me, I am talking about me). Find her buddie metas here: (X) 
- And most importantly my girl, my babe, my love, @chimbuckleys who is the voice of reason between us and always lets me rant about stuff and was the sounding board for this and so much else I have written - I couldn’t do this without you! (ALSO I AM GOING TO BED NOW, BABE!!!)
AND DEAR READER, you made it! Now go have a blessed day and plant some trees because earth is dying and we with it!
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symphonicmetal101 · 3 years
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Wishlist For Someone Special
Ok, so I'm feeling really sappy and just a little lonely. All my friends are boring and my family members are too young for me to take to do some stuff.
This is kind of a wishlist of things I wish I had someone to do with or look forward to doing eventually...not necessarily romantic, but I wouldn't mind if it was. (broskis, I ain't never been on a date, not even, like, a platonic one, so bear with me if it seems ridiculous)
Stargazing- lying on a blanket in an open field or in the bed of a truck, just watching the stars, pointing out constellations, and making up stories
Watching the Northern Lights- bundling up in our warmest winter clothing, grabbing a couple campchairs and hot chocolate as we watch them dance and flicker.
Laser Tag- sneaking around, just trying to one up each other, or being on the same team and still- try to one up each other😂
Paintball- a little more painful than laser tag, but still fun. Checking up on each other afterwards to make sure there aren't any really bad bruises
Graffiti- I've always liked the way it looks. I would love for someone to teach me, or for us to learn together in one of those public graffiti houses
A Willow Tree- I would love to find a weeping willow tree and climb it's branches, only to sit and read there with my loved one enjoying their company.
Just Drive- just take a roadtrip with someone I love, blasting music, laughing, singing, and snacking as we blaze down the roads. It doesn't have to be long.
Visit an Animal Sanctuary/Reserve- I find animals fascinating, but also find that sanctuaries and reserves are more educational and often more humane than zoos.
Volunteer at the Food Bank or SPCA- just general acts of service. They make me happy.
Pillow Fortress- I didn't really get to make blanket forts when I was younger, so I want to try doing something even bigger! I want to convert the couch into a cuddle palace.
Spontaneous Dancing- idk man, it just makes me really happy. My dad used to twirl and dip me when I was little, so that's probably where it started.
Cooking/Baking Together- so what if we make a bit of a mess? So what if we screw up the recipe? It doesn't matter, it was time well spent.
Cleaning Together- Growing up as an only child for ten years and then becoming the oldest means I've done chores alone for a long time. I want someone's company, maybe we'll talk, maybe we'll work in comfortable silence, or maybe we'll blast music. I don't care. I would be happy just to know I wasn't alone.
Learning One of Their Hobbies- I want to learn something they know!! Please, let me understand a little better, I just need them to be patient with me.
Forest Walks- especially in Fall. I want to walk down an old trail, listen to leaves crunch under our feet as more fall from above I want the blustery weather to give us rosy cheeks and noses by the time our walk is over.
Horseback Riding- I've done it before, but I would love to bring someone with me. You have more experience? Great! I love to see that confidence in you. You've done it a couple times? Yay, we're in the same boat! Never done it at all? That's ok! I'll do what I can to help you!
Outdoor Movie Night- we don't have drive- in theaters anywhere nearby, but give me a sheet, campchairs, and a projector? I've got us.
Indoor Movie Night- let's bundle up and cuddle together while we watch a new movie. Or maybe it's a classic. Idc.
Try New Food- let's go somewhere for lunch and pick something completely foreign...(I am not eating guinea pig again though, thanks.)
The Wharf- if one of us happens to live by the ocean, we'll be frequent visitors. Not necessarily the beach, bit on wooden planks where the salty sea air still reaches you. We can watch the boats come and go. (Fisherman's Wharf in B.C Canada is fun. There's a really good Mexican food place😂 There's a blind seal named Sammy that lives there, and you can buy a bucket of fish to feed him. Be careful though, seagulls are vicious, being pecked by one sucks...yes, I needed a bandaid and my finger was sore for a long time. Idk if it's still like that, it's been a while. Sorry, just reminiscing a bit.)
Painting- let's buy a couple canvases and paint and see what we can do! It doesn't have to resemble anything, just do what feels like you.
Splatter Painting- dear god I've wanted to try this for so long. Just full on globs of paint and flicking it towards the canvas. (I was never allowed to do it because it was seen as a waste of paint. I couldn't even do it with an old toothbrush on a small canvas😑)
Video Games!- Please teach me how to play! Video games are banned in my family. I mean, I've done Just Dance, but that's about it. Mobile games have been kept a secret...basically just teach me to play and don't make me feel bad about playing, and I'll love you forever, mkay?
Ice Cream Date- again, idk. The idea just makes me really happy, whether we're sitting in a small shop, eating and talking. Or maybe we're walking, maybe holding hands, trying to point things out to each other, but our hands are full, but there's no way we're letting go. Or maybe we're sharing a cup of ice cream on a park bench, just people watching.
Thrift Store Outfits- I want to go to a thrift store and pick out the most ridiculous outfits for each other. We don't have to go anywhere, but just humour me when we're alone by wearing whatever I found for you, and vice versa.
Writing- writing a poem, a atory, a quote, or learning calligraphy and just writing their name- I want to write something to you
Books- let's go to the library and choose a book for each other, one that neither of us have read so we can talk and ask questions, come up with theories as we continue to read.
Books pt.2- if you write me a note and give me a book telling me why it's one of your favourites, I'll melt. I'll do the same for you, and soon we'll have a few more things to talk about and enjoy together
Music!- you bet your bottom dollar I'm going to send you music that reminds me of you, and I would be overjoyed to recieve the same.
Music! Pt.2- if you happen to play, sing, or dance, let's make something beautiful together! If not, I'll teach you!
Improv/rp- just making stuff up as we go, not caring if other people hear our conversations.
Trampoline Park/Something Similar- I just want to try it. Don't care if I break my leg, I want to try it. I'll care if you break your leg though.
Plant Shopping- again, idk. Just the idea of choosing a succulent or two to take care of together sounds nice.
Dance Classes- maybe you're already an amazing dancer, I'll let you take the lead. Maybe you just know the basics like me, we can learn together. (I know how to do the basics for, like, salsa, cumbia, bachata, swing, and waltz, that's it. Please teach me more🤩)
Sewing/Knitting/Crocheting/Fabric Work- useful skill! And maybe we can make something for each other. (Spoiler alert: you're getting a pillow case, mask, or a scarf, I can't do much yet😂)
Rage House- let's just let loose! Make a mess! Yell! Doesn't matter, all of it's legit. I just want to destroy stuff.
Weird Cuddles- again, just the idea makes me happy. If you're lying down, I may as well just flop on you, right? Or maybe somehow we end up upside down. Cuddling while we read books or listen to music. Ok so maybe just cuddling but it feels weird because I'm touch-starved👌
Late Night Calls- I've never done this with anyone under happy circumstances. Could you help me change that? It would be nice to have the last thing before I go to sleep be reassurance and happiness.
Calendar/Planning- let's make a calendar together with pictures of the places we want to go one day. Let's talk to each other so we know what we both want and make sure we put it down.
Scuba Diving- this is something I've wanted to do since I was little- actually it was the first job I said I wanted. I don't want to do it as a career anymore, but I would love to try it with you.
Finding Random Things- little things that remind me of you. Maybe I was out and found a heart shaped rock. Or I heard a bird sing and managed to record it. Or maybe there was a cute keychain at the store that reminded me of you. And that would be enough to make me smile.
Ride a Double-Decker Bus- I've done it before, but the excitement that comes with the thought of riding one again makes me giddy. Just being able to see the city and people from a mobile throne😂
Bike Riding- let's explore nearby, just riding together. Maybe you have trails you want to show me. You can lead, I'll follow. Or vice versa. If we get lost at least we can laugh about it later.
Camping- lets share a tent and a campfire together, roasting smores as we laugh and tell each other stories. Maybe we'll try and sing a few songs too.
Punch Buggy- just playing the game properly will make me happy tbh. It's been 8 years of bending the rules😂
Board/Card Games- yes. I will get competitive. But that's half the fun. Also, I would like to play these properly as well lol
Museum Date- maybe somewhere local, or maybe we were driving by and decided to stop, or maybe we actually planned to go. Let's learn something new together, take some pictures.
Comfy- I didn't know what else to call it. Basically, take out, sweat pants, (messy buns), snacks, drinks, and a good show. Bonus if it's storming outside.
Rain- watching it rain, listening tonit rain, going outside and dancing or running in the rain, jumping in puddles- I want to do it all with you.
Little Gestures- little things we develop as we get to know each other, faces that we come to understand, hand movements we start to copy. Idk, I find it really cute.
Ok guys, sorry this isn't what, well, any of us were expecting. I guess this is my Valentine's Day post?? Idk. If you read it, I hope you liked it.
Feel free to put who you thought of in tags or comments, real or fiction. Or add to the list if you want. I would love to know😊 I know there's a lot of "I wants" but that's because for the first time, in a long time, I feel comfortable admitting that.
51. Mutual comfort characters
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staliasjeronica · 3 years
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Riverdale S5 Ep3 Thoughts *Spoilers*
Thoughts on the episode under the cut! I literally can’t wait for us to all be free of Bughead. And I heard there were some Jeronica crumbs AHHHHHHH SCREAMING!!!
- OMG THE CALLBACK TO THE FIRST EPISODE. THE FIRST VOICE OVER. Beautiful. I love that so much.
- FP having to leave </3 I’m not ready to not see Falice
- Hiram looks good roughed up tbh
- Reinstating Sheriff Keller?! YESS. They were sleeping under the boxing ring??
- FRED NO PLEASE 💔💔💔 MY HEART. He really did miss graduation just like he said before 😭😭
- Also not Riverdale but why is there always an ad literally five minutes into the ep??? But at least the Joe Keery Taco Bell ad came on so… it’s okay!
- My family was so excited when I got my cap and gown and seeing Mary just… messing with it brings me back.
- The callbacks to s1 are gonna fuck me up aren’t they 😭😭 Cheryl crying is always so beautiful
- I had to miss most of Alice and Betty’s convo because my mom’s trach came out but Betty saying that thanksgiving would be the two of them LOL as if Betty cares about her mom’s feelings…
- I was thinking that the senior’s pictures in the capsule was gonna be someone’s relative so we could find out a little bit about Sweet Pea or Fangs’ families smh
- THE “SECONDARY” GROUP HANGING OUT TOGETHER YESS. THERE’S A SERPENT PAGE AHHH
- So Weatherbee can join a cult but when Archie is wrongfully accused of murder and then placed into an illegal boxing ring, no one gives him a break… irl they probably would have lol
- Sweet Pea and Reggie hugging idc they’re step bros. The Kangs kiss was kinda cute ngl WHY DIDN’T CHONI KISS? Veronica going up to Archie unsure what to do :(
- Veronica bringing back Archie’s stuff :((( why does VA have to break up first smh they’re the hotter couple.
- Them making out was so weird… like knowing Archie doesn’t want to be with her and Veronica doesn’t either… like I get it but still it looked so forced. I think it was on purpose which bodes well for their acting skills but-
- The entire idea of break up sex is so weird esp when it comest to cheating/lost feelings like why would you want to do that… BUT VERONICA LOOKS CUTE AF RN
- Jughead’s VO on V’s face, and Jughead looks good….
- TONI’S GRANDMOTHER. AND SWANGS, glad they remember their friendship exists. “including my girlfriend.” “We’re so proud of you, Toni.” AHH
- Archie watching everyone he cares about with their parents :(
- Still wondering how Betty is valedictorian… makes little sense. But her speech is good so I’ll let this fanservice slide I guess
- ARCHIE SINGING THE SONG MY CHOIR SANG FOR GRADUATION OH MY FUCKING GOD MY HEART
- Everyone looks so cute in their cap and gown!! Alice’s gaze at FP how sweet 🥺🥺
- Swangs! Reggie!! SP’s reaction to Reggie makes me again hc them as step bros and friends that is all.
- So sad but I feel so… enlightened. Like I did when I graduated.
- NOT PENELOPE… wait she’s giving herself in for Cheryl??? Since when has she ever cared about Cheryl… but she’s doing good so-
- JB in the fucking side car lmao
- Falice 💔 “îs this is? the end of our story?” STOP HEER SWIPING GHERE FINGERS OVER HIS LIPS FUCKKKK when they have the most romantic and passionate kisses over everybody, rivaling Barchie as they should!
- FP GETTING A RIDE ALONG WITH THE SERPENTS PLS
- It’s so annoying that there’s absolutely no Barchie whatsoever like they cheat and then give NOTHING???
- Veronica’s outfit is so fucking sexy
- Veronica handing over full ownership of Pop’s to Pop 🥺❤️ I love the most selfless woman in Riverdale. GOD. The way Pop’s is both her and Jughead’s home though.
- A bobby pin why-
- Josie’s cat ears 🥺❤️
- Keeping her serpent jacket and knowing she’ll be queen later yess.
- Cheryl is all of us “finally” NOW LET THE UGLY BEANIE STAY GONE.
- I think Jeronica is on the same step mmhm
- So all V’s reaction but not Betty’s…? The woman he loves? The woman who loves him? Betty supporting him no matter what though 🥺🥺
- Veronica being worried for Archie though I totally understand.
- Why isn’t Cheryl going to Highsmith? IF YOU DON’T GO, I WON’T GO.  It’s amazing Cheryl is fixing the Blossom family name but couldn’t she also go to college…? NANA TOPAZ WANTING TO SEND CHONI CARE PACKAGES 😭😭 “Toni, you know I love you with every ounce of my soul.” I HATE THIS. “Don’t say it.” STOP STOP STOP “Then you never shall.”
- JUGHEAD ASKING ABOUT VERONICA MUAH TAKING MY CRUMBS
- JUGHEAD REALIZING TTHAT V DIDN’T KNOW WHAT ARCHIE WAS PLANNING.
- OMG IS BETTY FINALLY TELLING JUGHEAD YESS and he’s in her bed LMAO
- Betty you always say you should tell Jugheead when shit happens but you never do until you’re forced to. (aka Jughhead finding out) BUT LOL HIM NOT KISSING HER BACK. Nvm take us back to the VA sex scene…. it’s so dumb like at least break up sex makes sense for them but bh???
- So… they had Jeronica not care about being cheated on?????? lol ok
- Betty saying she should be with V so she wouldn’t have to say “Archie” after her revealing Barcheating
- V slap the fuck out of B now. WHY AREN’T YOU MAD AT BETTY? SHE LITERALLY—
- So what was the point of having Barchie cheat if no one was going to care or have any fallout… NORMAL HIGHSCHOOL ANGST? CHEATING ISN’T—
- Veronica looks so good though when she’s crying ugh we love a queen
- “I wish I had said goodbye to him” so they said that its would be someone you wouldn’t expect her to say it to and it was towards ARCHIE? What kind of actual bullshit???
- Not Archie’s main memories being with Veronica. He literally doesn’t love her anymore. This fucking show really did nothing with Barchie how fucked up is that. BUT HER WAVING TO HIM THAT WAS SO CUTE PLS
- “Barchie cheated and Archie doesn’t love V anymore.” “I LOVE YOU” literally… what the fuck is this show?
- “Don’t bro me.” ???
- They’re literally acting like Barchie never cheated. WHAT WAS THE POINT THEN??? God I wish the writers knew how to write.
- Jeronica wearing blue colors though muah
- BH IN THE SAME BED ALL SPLIT APART LMAOOOO. AND THE COUCH LOL bh break up say the words now
- Of course you’ll always love Betty, Jughead, she’s gonna be your step sister <3 for real this time
- THE COOPER’S ANYMORE…. when it was literally the Jones’ and the Cooper’s literally moved in with them. THE ANDREWS? The Bunker of course “honey I’m home” sjdkfahsjlfkak
- This is actually quite sad though. A little weird, but sad.
- But see how normal Jughead acts when he and Betty break up? I’ve been saying it!
- THE COUPLE LITERALLY BEING WHAT BARCHIE SHOULD HAVE BEEN!?  Mmmhhm
- ADULT BARCHIE SLAPSSSSSSSS.  Can’t wait for my Jeronica crumbs… can’t believe I’m actually saying Betty being FBI doesn’t seem that awful (yet, until it’s in every line and shoved down our throats)
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fairycosmos · 4 years
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TRIGGER WARNING : I know you're not a psychiatrist tbh I just need to vent and I really like you so yea, I've come to the conclusion that I am what everyone thought I was which is a lazy little bitch using depression and suicidal thoughts as an excuse to be lazy I use to feel guilty but idc anymore it just shows there's no hope for me at all the only problem is I don't have the guts to shoot myself in the head and it's the last option I have Im sorry I just don't know who to turn to
hey dude. i’m sorry to hear you’re hurting so much right now. i know it’s a complex and personal issue that words alone can’t solve, but i still hope you’re open to some comfort, some alternative narratives to center your thoughts around. and idk just a few words from someone who can understand to an extent....i think first and foremost it’s a good idea to ask yourself, when you’re in the right state of mind to, where all of this self loathing is actually coming from. whether it’s grounded in anything substantial. it’s important to remember that a massive part of depression is feeling like you’re faking, over-exaggerating, using it as an excuse etc. i’ve heard a lot of people with mental illness echo the same sentiment. and the fact that you feel this way, so violently negatively towards yourself, indicates that you ARE struggling with a much deeper problem. but we’re taught to overlook it and to blame ourselves, partially due to society’s attitude regarding mental illness. in short we’re conditioned to feel like we’re lazy and worthless if we can’t produce labor and profit, or if something prevents us from doing so, but that’s merely a capitalist myth. those around you have internalized its message and are now projecting it onto you. but now that you recognize that fact, you can begin dismantling that belief system in your own head. cause in actuality, it’s got nothing to do with you or your value as a person. it’s the system that’s the issue, and the way it sees human life as nothing more than a means to an end, when people are so much more than that. you are so much more than that. you’re not here to constantly please everyone or to be some emotionless machine. so anyone who was judging you by that standard is fkn deluded and their opinion doesn’t hold much weight to begin with. then there’s also the stigma surrounding depression itself. people who’ve never experienced it don’t get how debilitating it is to live with. how it doesn’t just prevent people from working, how it prevents people from progressing in all areas of their lives when it’s left unacknowledged. which is why the answer isn’t to hurt yourself, it’s to admit to what hurts. this isn’t a matter of personal failure, or of laziness. it’s an illness, something that needs to be confronted head on with time, treatment, and self help in order to move beyond it. it’s just as serious as any physical ailment, but you don’t have to beg anyone to understand that.  you’re going through so much just by getting through the day and the fact that you’re still here counts for so much. i promise, you are not your negative thoughts. your mind is just trying to get you to stay in the cycle of self hatred > self destruction > self hatred so that you feel more discouraged and less likely to seek the support you need, even though that could be the one thing that would break the repetitive pattern. idk who made you believe that you are this bad and unforgivable person but i hope you know that it is genuinely, truly possible to grow beyond that way of thinking. it may take time, and it may feel unreachable right now, but change is honestly constant especially if you seek it out. the way you see yourself in five years will not mirror the way you see yourself now, you know? this is all a process and as long as you’re getting through it, you’re doing so much better than you realize. 
it’s ok to recognize all of that and to still feel like shit, to still feel like giving up sometimes. sadness, anger, pain - they’re exhausting and terrifying, but you don’t have to push those emotions away. though they don’t have to control all of your actions either. because they’re never as permanent as they feel. part of being suicidal is thinking in a black and white fashion, where everything has to be all or nothing. but it doesn’t. there’s a lot of nuance and a lot of different choices you can make, if you just breathe and keep yourself in a safe environment above all else. like i said, you’re living with an illness and bad days are a natural part of that. but having the tools to be able to cope with them in a healthy way could make all the difference. and that IS an option for you, even if you can’t see it right now. are you currently seeing a mental health professional? if not, i’d really really suggest looking into that before you make any permanent and heavy handed decisions about whether or not it’s worth it to stay alive. seriously, even if you’re unable to see a therapist at the moment - there are depression/suicide hotlines you can call who can help you with the next step, there may be support groups in your area, your doctor may be able to refer you to a counselor. you are capable of reaching out, as proven with this message, which is a really good sign. and building routines around personal self help and finding what works for you would be a step in the right direction, too. there is so much that can be done in terms of identifying what you feel the way you feel, relearning how to treat yourself, developing a support network over a period of time, opening up to make room to heal - it’s possible. i promise it is. it’s possible to live a full, stable life that you’re proud of despite having depression. if you have any trusted loved ones, now may also be a good time to talk to them about whats going on. i’m sure they want to have the chance to be there for you, and it’s alright to lean on them when you need it. you’re clearly in a very emotional state right now so i don’t blame you if you can’t bring yourself to believe me, but i hope it’s an idea you can keep revisiting. because really what my main point is, is that you deserve to stay alive regardless the fact that you’re dealing with a mental illness. i don’t want to sound cliche but it’s true that nothing would be the same without you, that you’re here for a reason (which you fulfill every day, just by being who you are) and that your presence is far more precious than you know. i’m sorry you were made to feel any different. you get this one life and i would really hate to see you do something you could regret over situations and feelings that can be helped. you are not beyond hope, you are not a lost cause. especially if you live your life as if you’re not. you still exist and that means there are a million different ways things could turn out, the future is ever changing. the present is all you need to worry about. it’s just another symptom of depression to catastrophize and picture everything ending in the worst case scenario, which is something that can also be helped with therapy/practicing mindfulness. anyway, i’m aware that this is getting super long and i’m going to leave some links that may be of some use to you in terms of follow up support, but i’m really begging you. no matter how awful you feel tonight, just allow yourself to breathe through it. cry through it. call someone if it all feels like too much. keep yourself away from anything you could use to harm yourself with. and then wake up tomorrow knowing you have the chance to try again, knowing that that is a good thing, knowing that this moment is not what your whole existence is going to look like. please, please call someone if you think you’re a danger to yourself. even if you have to pick up the phone on autopilot. you mean so much. im sending you a lot of love and hoping you find the self appreciation you deserve. if you ever need a friend please feel free to message me. you’re not on this alone.
https://faq.whatsapp.com/general/security-and-privacy/global-suicide-hotline-resources/
https://www.helpguide.org/articles/depression/coping-with-depression.htm
https://www.mentalhealth.org.nz/get-help/a-z/resource/50/suicide-coping-with-suicidal-thoughts
https://medium.com/@sameoldzen/finding-intrinsic-self-worth-in-a-capitalist-system-7069be072b5b
https://serenitymentalhealthcenters.com/31-coping-skills-for-depression/
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