#fear of homophobia
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misc solangelo pen doodles
#dunno how well received this'll be because usually anything that isnt comics aren't! but yk i dont post much so#here you go!#featuring: will thinking he's smooth vs nico being bold as shit as soon as hes better with the internal homophobia#And Will being unable to sleep together with nico without either sticking to him or grabbing him like a fallen teddy#And last but not least. nico getting over his fear of the colour yellow because he wants to steal his bfs shit#thats it thats the post#solangelo#nico di angelo#percy jackon and the olympians#percy jackson and the olympians#pjo#will solace#the sun and the star#rrverse#tsats
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Something that is canon in my mind that I forget to tell people:
The reason why Steve can’t get bitches in his Scoops Ahoy era is because there’s a rumor going around that he’s gay (probably because someone caught him hooking up with Eddie)
#how else can you explain it???#he is so so babygirl#all the girls would be literally at his feet begging for this man to date them#unless… they think he’s trying to make them his beard#also with the lipgloss and mascara…#it just adds fuel to the fire#and think. if Steve and Eddie were hooking up before scoops in a fwb gone wrong or secret relationship gone wrong type of situation…#aka Steve catches feelings and runs because of internalized homophobia and a fear of getting caught#there could be a season three rewrite of Steve catching feelings for Robin because she reminds him of Eddie#and after Robin comes out to him#Steve’s like “oh. maybe there are more people like me in Hawkins than I imagined. if she deserves a happy ending with a girl#why can’t I get a happy ending with a guy?#and steve slowly is able to come to terms with his sexuality#meanwhile eddie seeks out Dustin and the kids who steve has ranted and raved about#but he plays it off as him happening to find lost sheep#lots of thoughts… lots of thoughts…#all thoughts to explain why Steve isn’t able to get bitches#steve harrington#steddie#stranger things#scoops ahoy steve#stranger things headcanons
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what was the point of putting Adam in the tub. did jigsaw just want that twink to be as uncomfortable as possible
#tis the homophobia i fear#john really said fuck this twink#saw#saw franchise#saw 2004#jigsaw#adam faulkner stanheight
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The thing is, Steve has learned, that becoming untouchable isn't all he wants it to be.
People were too quick to try and reach out for him, ask for more than he was willing to give. He hadn't wanted to give up his first kiss to some random girl at some random boy's twelfth birthday party because of spin the bottle. He hadn't wanted to play Seven Minutes in Heaven with Jenny Jackson or Linda Simons at Tommy's birthday party the following year. He did want to take Mary Linscott to Snow Ball, but she just wanted to make out behind the bleachers instead of dance with him. He didn't want to do that but then Brian called him stupid for not wanting to, and asked if he was queer. So, Steve had turned right back around and dragged Mary back under the bleachers, kissing her until it was time to go to prove Brian wrong.
(Even though Steve knows Brian isn't wrong. That Steve had wanted to ask Brian to the dance as much as he'd wanted to ask Mary but knew better than to do that. He saw how they treated Eddie Munson last year for the suspicion of liking other boys and Steve wasn't going to let that happen to himself.)
Brian had congratulated him after and asked what base he got to. Steve didn't want to get to any bases, but he couldn't say that, so he just punched Brian in the arm and said 'more bases than you' which was true because Brian's date didn't kiss him even once.
Then Carol Perkins approached him at lunch, shortly after Snow Ball, and asked if Steve would be her first kiss. Not because she wanted to kiss Steve, but because she wanted to kiss Tommy H, but didn't want to be bad at kissing. Steve agreed because he liked Carol. Not in the way she liked Tommy, but mostly because she'd asked.
No one had done that yet.
She came over to his house on a Saturday because she didn't want Tommy to catch them and think she didn't like him. They made out in his room because, despite his parents being home, they didn't really care who was in his room with him or if the door was open or shut. Probably didn't even notice he had someone over. She leaves an hour later.
By Tuesday Tommy and Carol are an item and by Friday they were Steve's best friends.
However, for reasons Steve doesn't understand, more girls keep asking him to be their first kiss. And maybe it's because he's already got a reputation, or maybe Carol let slip he'd said yes when she asked, but Steve finds himself kissing a lot of girls he doesn't want to. He doesn't know how to say no. Can't find a reason too. Brian's words play in the back of his mind every time he thinks about saying no.
(Are you stupid? Are you queer? He doesn't want to be either of those things, and given his grade in biology and pre-algebra, he's really only got a hope of avoiding the queer label. His father would tolerate a stupid son. He doesn't think he'd survive if his father had a queer one.)
There are a few girls he's been crushing on that ask him and that was nice. One, Alice Baker, even becomes his girlfriend for a month. His first relationship.
Soon eighth grade gives way to being a freshman and Steve, who has always been handsome and cute, catches the eye of upperclassmen now.
And Steve's not sure how it happens, but he ends up moving past first base with another girl whose name he can't remember, or possibly never knew. He doesn't remember asking her for hers when she led him into one of the bedrooms at the house this party was at while he was way too tipsy.
And then it just grows. The reputation and what people expect from him, and he doesn't want it, but he's never said no before so can he start now? Doesn't he need a reason to say no? If he doesn't have a reason, does that make him queer? He should be wanting this. What boy doesn't want this?
And maybe he does want it. But not like this.
He doesn't want to be slightly drunk at yet another party, following the first girl that grabs his wrist and pulls him after her into whatever secluded area they can find. He doesn't want to keep saying yes when he wants to say no.
The summer between freshman and sophomore year he confides in Carol. It's a risk. Carol can be cruel, quick with her words to tear you down, to spread the rumor that will ruin your life. But she's also fiercely loyal.
He tells her he's tired of kissing people he doesn't want to.
Carol is quiet for a long time, and Steve almost thinks he's made a mistake. But then she speaks.
"Okay. Let's make a plan."
And they do. Then suddenly Steve is untouchable. Carol teaches him how to see the weakness in people and call it out. How to wield his facial expressions as a weapon and a shield. How to put on the air of being the most important person everywhere you go so well that everyone else begins to believe it. How to fall back on the fact his parents are rich, gone often, and, almost most importantly, well known in the community. It gives Steve's name a weight to throw around.
More importantly, all of that culminates in people no longer asking things of him. Instead, they look to him to take the lead, they wait to be asked. It makes Steve feel in charge of his life for once.
But now.
Now, years later, having survived a spring break from Hell and averted the apocalypse, Steve watches Eddie hang off Argyle with ease, fling an arm over Jonathan's shoulder while laughing at a joke, easily pull Dustin into a headlock or wrestling match.
Easy touches that Steve should be able to do, too. A jealousy wells inside him almost as much as the unease he feels in his stomach at the mere thought of letting them know they're allowed to reach out and touch him, too. That Eddie's allowed to reach out and touch.
But then he remembers what happened when he let people have that power over him and he can't bring himself to do it.
It settles in Steve, then, the realization. When you become untouchable, you're unable to touch.
-
@nburkhardt @i-less-than-three-you adding my own lil bit of angst into the mix now (:
#pre steddie#my fic#cw dubious consent#internalized homophobia#steve kisses a lot of people he doesnt want to because of peer pressure and his own fear of not fitting in#it is also implied steve has sex with people when he didnt really want to#steve harrington has bad parents#touch-starved steve#also if you know the song that last line is from i am smooching the top of your head softly
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It’s not my fault! I’m not to blame. It is that wretched girl, the witch who sent this flame!
Inspired by @sharkscene ‘s tags
#to be clear it’s not her going to hell it’s her being terrified of it#heaven isn’t threatening her either she’s just breaking down from fear#vaggies the one ending up in hell after this#this was supposed to be a shitty sketch. again. I need self control I need restraint#ten productive and healthy ways to deal with your severe internalized homophobia! one: Kill Her#[my art]#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel spoilers#(vaguely)#lute#vaggie x lute#lute x vaggie#fallenwings#…..#luggie#it’s only implied but that Is what it is#Ik what the songs about but it’s real funny to imagine that she had (1) romantic thought about her sparring partner#and immediately freaked out like this#not the cover I initially had in mind but it’s the only fem one I can find that doesn’t. slur#(use a slur. I mean)
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what do you mean ‘what happened in india between john and paul?’ THIS is what happened in india between john and paul
#i can’t watch this scene without thinking of Them#it’s no use paul. paul we’ve gotta have it out. i have loved you ever since i’ve known you paul#i jest i jest#but sometimes i think this might not be too far off#other times i think it was more to do with blowjobs and internalised homophobia or depression and john’s fear of abandonment#or all of the above#who knows yoko! but i do love a bit of speculation#i can never quite decide how i think it happened or even how i view paul’s side of things in their relationship#mostly i think if older paul could go back he’d love john in whatever way he could#they’re very ‘right person wrong time’ in that sense#paul mccartney#john lennon#mclennon#john and paul#the beatles#beatles rpf#what happened in india#little women
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'I flirted with the idea that instead of being trans that I was just a cross-dresser (a quirk, I thought, that could be quietly folded into an otherwise average life) and that my dysphoria was sexual in nature, and sexual only. And if my feelings were only sexual, then, I wondered, perhaps I wasn’t actually trans.
I had read about a book called The Man Who Would Be Queen, by a Northwestern University professor who believed that transwomen who were attracted to women were really confused fetishists, they wanted to be women to satisfy an autogynephilia. And though I first read about this book in the context of its debunkment and disparagement, I thought about the electricity of slipping on those tights, zipping up those boots, and a stream of guilt followed. Maybe this professor was right, and maybe I was only a fetishist. Not trans, just a misguided boy.
About a year later, on the Internet, I come across a transwoman who added a unique message to the crowd refuting this professor. Oh, I wish I remember who this woman was, and I wish even more that I could do better than paraphrase her, but I remember her saying something like this: “Well, of course I feel sexy putting on women’s clothing and having a woman’s body. If you feel comfortable in your body for the first time, won’t that probably mean it’ll be the first time you feel comfortable, too, with delighting in your body as a sexual thing?”'
-Casey Plett, Consciousness
#this quote always moves me almost to tears when i remember it#i'm not a trans woman and i don't share the author's specific experiences with transition#but it really moves me that she frame transition as joyfully giving yourself permission to approach your body#not as something that has to be disciplined and deprived and made small in all these various ways#but as a means for experiencing pleasure and joy and delight and for insisting that our feelings and desires are worth#valuing and exploring and treasuring#i always used to think of prioritizing those things for myself as selfish and irresponsible#but who does it harm to want to experience pleasure in your own body?#it's such a beautifully simple and powerful switch to have flip in your head#and equally why are we forced to deny our own pleasure in transition and anything else related to our bodies in the name of moral rectitude#this is why i get so confused and pissed off when other trans people are fatphobic for example#like why are you so invested in politics of shame and disgust that never had any purpose other than#violently disciplining people as if they've violated moral codes by existing in a body#to say nothing of white people being racist in gay and trans communities#like again this system of violence is foundational to homophobia and transphobia#so why are you acting like it has nothing to do with you#even if you are unmoved by the urgency of other people's suffering which btw you should be moved by#what do you hope to gain by acting a collaborator and handmaiden to those systems#Casey Plett#she really is one of my favorite authors i wish more non-canadians read her#this quote is from a series of columns she did ont transition and every single one is a banger#i love when she talks about the people-pleasing elements of dysphoria and transition denial#she's so sharp about noting how many of us deny our own dysphoria on the grounds that others like and validate our bodies#that's how i always felt during my cis conventionally feminine era#it pleased other people so much and also that reception felt so hollow and joyless to me because i hated it#i get less of that positive feedback but that feels so unimportant next to the joy and pleasure i get to experience#said with the understanding that i'm very privileged in being able to prioritize those things without fear. but it was a switch flip#personal nonsense
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Or like, volcanos explode idk
(This is a joke in reference to recent homophobia towards legos, Cole Ninjago has always been gay, if you’re homophobic that’s hilarious. Also I think you might be lost, this is tumblr,the gayest website around)
#this is the funniest homophobia meme#homophobes really do act as if a ghost has possessed a cartoon whenever two guys look at each other funny#clutching their pearls and fainted#y’all#it’s okay#gay legos will not drink your blood#do not fear#ninjago#savemyboycole#<- i am laughing#tw homophobia#just in case
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I think a lot of homophobes and transphobes don't just feel hatred toward queer people, but they genuinely fear us in an almost literal sense, and so they assume the inverse is true for gay and trans people.
I think that's why you have so many cishet people who smugly say that they're going to make queer people angry, afraid, "triggered" by displays of heterosexuality and/or displays of traditional gender - they think we aren't used to living in a cishet world, that we fear cishet people for their identities as much as they fear us for ours.
#gay#queer#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#homophobia#homophobia tw#transphobia#transphobia tw#queerphobia#queerphobia tw#just saw somebody brag that they're going to trigger the queers by... making straight art????#buddy i grew up indulging in straight media like...? how is that going to offend people?#the idea seems to be that queer people fear straightness because the queerphobe can genuinely fear queerness#does this make sense.#bro one of my favourite childhood movies was about a heterosexual couple and i ate that shit up (imagining 'what if i was the man...')#obviously this isn't going to apply across the board but i've noticed it A Lot
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i am doing some research for an essay and am reading an article about richie being gay in IT 2019 and the person writing the article is acting like richie coming out would have no impact on his career whatsoever because he's a comedian in los angeles in 2016... like did we watch the same movie?
like for me personally when i saw richie get up on stage and tell a joke about jerking it to his girlfriends sisters facebook or whatever my first thought wasn't "oh yeah i bet his audience is on their way to a drag show after this" i got a very clear image of a a 35-45 year old white guy who watches fox news and refers to his wife as "the ol' ball and chain" and thinks richie is a hero of comedy because he "isn't giving into the woke liberal mob who doesn't understand what dark humor is". i know this might be shocking but that type doesn't typically like it when their entertainers are queer :0
like... what? i am just very confused. like did we expect richie tozier, guy who grew up in a small town during the AIDS crisis and was tormented by a clown who threatened him with the knowledge that he was a homosexual, and now has a career that relies on a group of people who are largely at least somewhat homophobic, liking him, to be out and proud? did we watch the same film?
#its very frustrating to me when people act like homophobia stopped being a thing when ellen came out or something#like gay marriage wasn't legal everywhere in the states until 2014/5#according to the US gov hate crime statistics hate crimes against LGBT people are on the rise#so the idea that 2016 was somehow sunshine and rainbows for queer people is baffling to me#like yeah its better than it was in the 80s but that doesnt mean theres nothing to fear in coming out???#very confusing article to me#homophobia#it 2017#it 2019#it chapter 2#it stephen king#richie tozier#posts afflicted with a strange sickness#strange ramblings
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#ABSOLUTELY STRESSED THE FUCK OUT GOD KIRIO IS STILL SO FKING UGLYYY I AM SO#Homophobia at its finest. if this scRAWNY RAT MAKES ASMODEUS AND IRUMA BREAKUP I WILL GO FERAL#THE FEAR IN IRUMAS EYES THE EXPRESSION OF ASMODEUS GUYS GUYS GUYS WHAT IS GOING AWN#Bro what will happen the day m!ik ends ???? like ??????? what will I do ??????#asmodeus#m!ik spoilers#mairimashita! iruma kun#kirio#iruma#manga
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so they were doing all that gay shit in her home? damn
#with the whole her-representing-fear-of-homophobia thing it honestly makes the setting of the ep even more symbolic and fitting lmao#moomin: puzzle & design#groke#meme
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if c and t wasnt so weird about trans ppl id be obsessed ngl
oh for sure that's in there, and obv i've talked abt that being a theme in c&t but like. so is cowboy bebop and also yu yu hakusho and also bleach and also ouran high school host club (oh GOD the stuff in ohshc) and many many more. but ppl do still actively love these anime and go hard in the fandoms and doing rewatches and shit While simultaneously knowing abt the shit that's wrong w the shows. but newer stuff either is viewed as completely Pure Unproblematic or The Whole Thing Is Garbage. and it doesn't get the grace of "this anime is really good and really enjoyable but there are parts of it that are stupid as fuck"
#like that would be a reason to not watch it if you know it's going to make you feel awful#but it's Not the reason why it doesn't have a cult following#otherwise almost nnnnnno anime... would have a fandom ever#except mushishi and that's IT#sergle answers#even mp100 had a scene that had ppl wondering if that was meant to be transphobic so mushishi is the only untouched one I fear#i'm not saying it's not a reason to dump on the writing for any given anime#but if anime lost its chance at being popular due to the presence of transphobia or homophobia or misogyny#then none of it would ever be popular. bc it's always sprinkled in#with either a generous or a gentle touch
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i think we should start saying it as “oh they have homophobia” instead of being homophobic. hope you heal up from your illness soon sweetie
#lgbtq#lgbtqia#gay#oh no they have homophobia!! too bad gay people are wonderful hope they get better#lgbt#queer#this was prompted by me thinking “huh strange how we talk about fears like arachnophobia as like. a condition”#and then thought. yknow whatd be funny
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ok so I was already going through it after the preview but the ep doubled down and continued to explore buck's feelings in a way that was so surreal how messy and relatable and real it was. the way it portrayed his first gay dating experience as a bi adult: the nervousness and the overthinking and self-criticism and identity crisis and just mess that can come with it.
He is on-guard and ultra-aware. He is analyzing not just his surroundings but himself. He lies and hates it. He avoids telling Maddie, makes an effort of not saying it's a guy he dated, but when confronted he tries to downplay it: "Could be very much the point" VS "It shouldn't be though right". Because Buck knows that liking a guy isn't a big deal and should be normal etc but he feels and acts like a mess?? So he feels like a fraud. There are too many thoughts about expectations that clouds his thoughts. "I dont think you're a fraud, i just think that maybe you're not sure of your own feelings yet" Maddie says and it helps. The moment when Eddie makes that comment about him being single and he gets that distant look in his eyes and realizes this is the moment of no return as he embraces the words that he has been afraid to say out loud. The way the tension starts to loosen once it has been said, the way he can breathe. Buck deciding at the end to just allow himself to be and let himself crush on Tommy and see where that takes them, because he knows he likes Tommy, and that's enough.
#911 spoilers#911 abc#911 blogging#911#this was literally brutal like i have never felt so personally attacked by an arc holy shit#im a half-closeted bisexual and like#sure ive known ive been bi for a while but actually getting close to dating a girl for the first time as a 26 year old and it#it has put me through it#there are a handful of bi reps that hits unlike anything else and in a bizarre turn of events this might be one of them.#like the SPECIFICITY of these moments and the direction has me reeling#was a while since i felt like a character went through it#*points* HE'S ME#like moments where ive been assumed straight and ive had that fucking same look as buck did#and more often than not ive said nothing and i just#felt it in my soul#so when he DID say it was a date i like??? fuck#but also just. the fact that there is no CLEAR direction of bucks fears and acting here#it isnt a conversation of 'im afraid people will be homophobic'#there is an INTERNAL struggle and it isnt even like. internalized homophobia.#it is just messy and real and just. 'who am i'#the way he wants to avoid the topic bc it is this new side of him thats been unexplored and#yeah. they designed this to be specific towards me for sure
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Day 15: “Who did this to you?”
Angst, knife wounds, bruises, rope burns, scars, shivering, crying, brief fear of homophobic hate crimes, vaguely referenced internalized homophobia, referenced death of a minor, referenced murder, firearm mention, implied past torture
[Directly follows Mouse]
Jackson was going to be in so much trouble for dipping before back-up could arrive. He was going to be in trouble for frisking a corpse without gloves. He was going to be in trouble for forgetting to re-enable his comm when chasing after a target of unknown threat level.
But mostly, Jackson thought he would be in trouble for taking that target to a quaint hotel at the edge of the city. If he was a less valuable agent, he might not be allowed to get away with a stunt like this.
The walk was long, cold, and dreary - at least Jackson’s heavy trench coat kept everything but his head dry. The stranger - ‘Wolf’ - didn’t seem to mind the weather, or at the very least didn’t complain and wonder aloud why they couldn’t flag down a taxi. He always kept a pace and a half behind Jackson, just out of arms reach. The same way he had followed Agent Smith when Jackson watched them from afar.
Curious.
Half the reason Jackson was willing to get in trouble was this stranger’s curiosities. The gun he had shot Smith with was Smith’s own weapon - Wolf himself appeared to be completely unarmed. (Not that a man of his physique needed a weapon to be lethal.) That was the first curiosity. The second was…everything after Jackson opened the closet door. He expected an ambush - a trap made from expired chemicals or improvised weapons. Not a man curled on the floor, trying to make himself as small as possible. Like a child hiding from a wrathful parent.
Jackson still wasn’t completely sure what a freelancer was, but it sure as hell couldn’t be this - skulking behind him like a shadow, avoiding eye contact, speaking so low he almost couldn’t understand the man. Command hadn’t been forthcoming on his identity - and Jackson knew they were keeping him in the dark, at least until the mission was done.
He was curious.
It wouldn’t kill him.
Probably.
—
The hotel wasn’t the best, but it was nice enough. Low profile, but off Command’s active radar for illegal activity hot-spots. Any good agent worth their salt had a few personal fake IDs, just in case. They wouldn’t be found here, not anytime soon.
“You can clean up first, I’m sure you could use the hot water more than me.” Jackson flashed a smile, but Wolf’s expression hardened as he nodded in reply, stalking to the washroom like a soldier on a mission.
Another curiosity.
Aside from a well disguised limp, Wolf moved like a soldier. He didn’t have the purposeful poise of an agent - American or otherwise. He took orders white seriously. Wolf hadn’t moved since he and Jackson entered the room, as if waiting for instruction. Blunt, to the point, comfortable in a hierarchy - now that didn’t sound like a runaway spy’s associate.
The bathroom door locked, and Jackson turned to the bed with a sigh. Of course they only had singles left. He paid for a couples room, even if it left his skin buzzing. It shouldn’t have bothered him, but his paranoia was acutely aware of how the secretary had raised a brow at his refusal for separate rooms.
(God, what did Wolf think of that?)
(...)
(What did they care? It was 2004 for God’s sake.)
(…)
(He still felt like the eyes of others always seemed to know what he was.)
Jackson tossed the duvet and the spare pillow to the ground. He could sleep on the floor just fine. He didn’t want to make Wolf uncomfortable. (And a small voice in his head whispered he didn’t want to give Wolf any more reason to kill him. How easy it would be for Wolf to kill him here, alone, without witnesses, and for his death to be brushed off as just another murdered poof.)
The agent turned out his coat pockets, setting what he had collected from the dead American on the bedside desk.
A room service receipt - it matched the hotel he had been staying at, but the wrong room number. Smith certainly seemed the type to choose two rooms for two people, but the sheer scale of the bill - the wine, the dinners - it didn’t meet the income of a spy in hiding. He had friends in high places (literally - Jackson would have to case the penthouse tomorrow).
The hotel room key was additional confirmation that Smith was likely traveling within the hotel. It was for the room Jackson had been stalking the last few days. The blinds were always drawn, but he could see light and movement from time to time.
The third item he snagged from the corpse was…odd. It looked like a car’s key fob, or a small, oddly shaped television remote. It only had four buttons. Unthinking, he pointed it at the television in the room, and clicked the most well worn button.
The yelp from the bathroom startled him - more so because he hadn’t expected to hear from his quiet guest. It hadn’t been particularly loud, but it had sounded distinctly pained. The thud that followed was equally concerning.
Jackson bolted to the door, stopping himself from trying the handle he knew was locked. He knocked softly, trying to keep his voice even.
“Wolf? Is everything alright?” When no reply came, he pressed his ear to the door. The sharp, agonized breathing between sobs was enough to spur him into action. “Wolf I’m going to unlock and open the door if you don’t say something.” His lock picking tools were easily slotted into the door’s mechanism. He had it unlocked, but he knocked again. “Wolf, are you alright?” The silence was deafening. “I’m coming in - please say something if you’re…”
The sight shocked Jackson to silence.
It shocked him to being 15 again. 15 and finding the corpse of a girl he had shared classes with stuffed behind the bleachers, obscenities carved into her bloodied and bruised flesh. That moment had led him here, more than a decade later. A professional MI6 agent looking down at a man beaten and bloodied that very same way, but by some cruel miracle still alive.
Jackson dropped to his knees, still processing the flesh in front of him. Bruises mottled from aged yellow to fresh blue along Wolf’s ribs, skin marred by scars and old burns. Cuts were tallied on his shoulder - like someone was keeping score - and the small, circular burns that trailed Wolf’s forearms were difficult to see against the thick bands of bruising from too-tight restraints and red rope burn. Wolf was kneeling next to the tub, keeled over with his back to Jackson. Between the blood and the bruises, the agent could make out two words etched across Wolf’s shoulder blades:
“BAD DOG”
Under the flickering fluorescent light, Jackson couldn’t read what else was carved across Wolf’s back, but those bloodied letters were cut deep into the muscle. Jackson let his eyes wander the room, finding Wolf’s rain soaked jacket and thin t-shirt neatly folded on the toilet seat. But Jackson’s eyes were once against drawn to Wolf when a violent shiver wracked his bare torso. The words contracted and stretched, weeping anew with fresh blood.
Unthinking, he let a shaking hand graze against the butchered carving before him. His words were soft, but the pity blooming in his chest made them waver with overwhelming compassion.
“Who did this to you?”
The trembling body under his fingertips stilled, and reality came crashing down on him as Jackson froze in turn. Wolf sat up slowly, broad back straightened until he sat taller than Jackson. (Blood ran in rivulets from the letters.) Dark eyes peered over his bloodied shoulder, damp with tears and expression unreadable.
Jackson was just about to jump to his feet, to mention that he had a medkit with a sterile suture needle, when Wolf lunged at him.
His brief panic at the sudden movement faded quickly as he realized what was happening. Strong arms had wrapped around him like a vice, but they were shaking - hands desperate and grasping at the back of Jackson’s shirt like he would dissolve without the contact. Jackson held Wolf’s head to his chest as he sobbed. He couldn’t touch his back without hurting him, and right now, Wolf just needed a shoulder to cry on. Jackson carded his fingers through sweaty, tangle hair and hummed soft reassurances.
Any thought of sating his curiosity tonight was discarded.
It didn’t matter who had done this, not right now. All that mattered right now was that they weren’t here.
[Directly before New Tricks]
(Part of my Freelancers: Changing Tides series)
#whump#angst#past torture#knife wound#bruises#rope burns#scars#shivering#internalized homophobia#fear of hate crimes#referenced murder#freelancers#febuwhump#febuwhump2024#febuwhumpday15#I had so much fun writing this one!!! who doesn't love a good 'who did this to you?'#just. mmm. *chefs kiss* big fan of the canon wolf rehabilitation story line (even if I really miss writing Harrison….)
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