The urge to cut off like 99% of my friends is constantly growing.
1) They keep calling me slurs(I'm literally OK with being called a faggot and tranny by the ones who also fall under those slurs, but somehow not wanting to be called a cripple, by able-bodied people no less, is somehow toxic???)
2) They make fun of me for having to have my phone on 'light mode' even though I've explained a billion times I literally CAN NOT SEE THE TEXT OR PICTURES OTHERWISE
3) They constantly mix up my lazy eye and strabismus and say it makes me look like a token idiot from movies(I wonder fucking why?! Could the answer maybe, possibly, be ableism in the film industry?!)
4) They take my cane without asking which I don't really mind when I'm sitting down but they'll literally take it while I'm standing and leaning against it, knowing I'm a severe fall risk and that falling is extremely dangerous for me, which they also make fun of
5) They treat me like I'm being ridiculous because I'm upset that after 13 years of modern, contemporary, and classical ballet and 2 of tap and hip hop I can no longer dance at all(not even with my arms as they tire easily or my head cause moving it too much triggers tic attacks)
6) They refuse to slow down for me when walking to class, even on staircases, but also get mad when I don't walk with them(not to mention walking alone is dangerous for me for multiple reasons)
7) They treat my absence seizures as if they're not serious because they don't involve shaking on the ground and said it's basically just dissociation(which they also get mad at me for doing)
8) They call me dramatic for having trauma responses to things like cars back firing and plastic water bottles popping even though they know I have untreated PTSD from my house being shot up by my neighbor when I was 11
9) One of them gets angry at me if I'm upset about being called a slur because "they're just telling the truth"
10) I told them that I want to go by Nora-Zachary and They/Them this year instead of my old 'preferred name'(it was never my preferred name I just had to pick the first name that came to my head the first day freshman year so I wouldn't be called my deadname) and He/They, but only one has complied on pronouns and no one has on my name
11) They laugh and call it 'cute' on days where my rhotacism, struggle to verbalize, and/or accent(both regional and autism accent)are more prominent
12) A couple have said I don't have a lisp, which is true, but what they actually meant is that I don't have a speech impediment(literally why do able-bodied people think only lisps and stutters exist, I'm pretty sure rhotacism is one the most common articulation impairments along with lisps and lambdacism, yet not even my parents know what it's called)
And like a billion other things too. Being around them is quite literally making me more suicidal. But IDK. Do I just need to suck it up? Is this as good as it gets? Before literally a year ago I only had 3 friends, and before 2 years ago I had 0, so I don't know what's acceptable.
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Fell down the stairs, again, last night while I was trying to walk my puppy. The overhead light in the hallway burnt out, and none on in the apartment complex has changed it out.
So, my puppy is fine.
Me however? My foot hurts, and I cannot put weight on it.
If it's not better by tomorrow, I'll be going to urgent care no matter how much I say "I'm fine."
Because this keeps happening, and my house mates are concerned for my well being. I'm a fall risk, and it worries them.
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Should I spike up my cane? On the one hand I'm worried about accidentally jabbing people in crowded situations but on the other hand if I'm a cane user in a crowded situation and people aren't giving me leeway then that's on them and I'll make it everybody's problem
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Sapphic short film with Victoria pedretti incoming girls i REPEAT SAPPHIC SHORT FILM WITH VICTORIA PEDRETTI INCOMING ‼️🚨‼️🚨
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