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#evie was mentioned
bizarrelovesquare · 7 months
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Phineas and Ferb: Across The Second Dimension (2011)
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evipineschi · 11 months
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may i request an Aradiabot in h1 and a Vriska in e3, they are kissmesisng (or not) (only vriska is tbh)
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hannahssimblr · 3 months
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There’s an argument at the nightclub door tonight. Actually, there is an argument at the nightclub door every time I show up here without fail, because I do not possess ID. 
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“Of course I don’t have ID,” I explain to the bouncer, the same guy that’s here week after week yet refuses to admit that he remembers me, “C’mon, we both know how it’s going to be, we can do this silly little dance for two to three minutes and you’re going to let me in.”
“You’re too drunk.”
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He’s right. “Look,” I sigh, “I’m here with girls, nice girls. Lovely girls and they’d like to come in too, wouldn’t you like for them to come in?” I cup the chin of Alison next to me, who theatrically bats her eyelashes and juts out her bottom lip, “Please,” she says, “we’re all so lovely and nice.”
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The bouncer shuffles from one foot to the other, checking over his shoulder, and I know we’ve won. These men have a problem with underage boys coming into their clubs, but girls? The more girls the better. It doesn’t matter if they’re seventeen. 
“Go in,” He says through clenched teeth, “and no hassle from you tonight, you hear me?”
“What?” I say loudly as we pass, “Sorry, couldn’t hear you. Anyway, bye.”
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The club is vibrating, strobe lights flash and music pumps so loudly that I can’t hear what anyone is saying. I think Alison is talking to me, at least her mouth is moving, so I lean in closer and bellow into her ear, “What?”
“I was singing,” she screams back, “I just like this song!”
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Everyone around us is shrieking at one another too, either that or swaying exotically against each other on the dancefloor, college aged girls all wearing the same shoes, men in the same shirts. In one fleeting, sober moment I look around me, at the clouds of dry ice, feel the floor sticking to my shoes and wish I was hanging out with Jen and watching TV instead. The moment ends abruptly as soon as Fitzy from rugby throws himself onto my back and starts chanting “shots, shots, shots!”
“Yeah, okay shots,” I say, attempting enthusiasm, “fuck it. Anything but tequila.” 
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As per my request we avoid tequila and we do some sort of hideous rainbow shot instead. I think that we are supposed to be impressed by the way the bartender pours it out, ten shot glasses in a line, each one of them a different colour, poured from the same nozzle. “You shouldn’t have bothered with that whole thing, they’ll all be down us in one second,” I tell him, but he doesn’t hear me. 
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We dance for a while, or at least we try to as a dozen secondary school kids without a shred of poise or grace to share between us, and mostly we just leap around the place and do stupid moves so that we cannot be accused of earnestly trying, and open ourselves up to the risk of real humiliation. 
When Fitzy spots some girl he likes the look of, I try to force him to go and talk to her, but we won’t. He says he needs more shots for that, which is probably true because he’s a bit awkward, so I reckon Fitzy needs a few shots to get most things done. Maybe it’s a sign that one day he’ll be an alcoholic, but I try not to think about things like that when I’m jumping around on a crowded dance floor, it’s neither the time nor place for existential dread. 
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“Puh puh puh poker face puh puh pokerface” Alison sings as she dances around me, “Can't read my, can't read my no he can't read-uh my poker face....”
Alison knows the lyrics to everything. Even songs that I’m only just hearing for the first time, and I don't know how. Either she listens to this kind of thing in her spare time or she just has an amazing memory. It’s an interesting and charming detail about her. She's a good dancer too, even when she's just being silly, and I've often noticed the way that other girls copy her moves, looking to her for choreography whenever she's on the dance floor.
“Oh, ohh oh oh, ohhh oh,” She vocalises, “I’ll get him hot, show him what I got…”
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I smile at her, “What’ve you got, Alison?”
Her hand curls around my neck as she pulls my ear to her mouth, “MDMA, if you want it.”
“Ha! Where’d you get that?”
“Someone at school.”
“Yeah? What else do you have?”
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She laughs, “Do you think I’m a pharmacy? C’mere,” She takes my hand and leads up away from the dancefloor, up a set of carpeted stairs and to a quieter landing near where the toilets are. We sit on a fancy little couch that is coated in years of filth while she digs through her little handbag. 
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“Look, I’ll tell you the entire contents, a few pills, I’ve a little weed, three pretty squashed cigarettes, um, oh, a small bit of bag.”
“Oh, bag. I’ll take the bag.”
“Expensive taste, yeah?” She chuckles, “And you know, the idea of you on cocaine is like some kind of nightmare to me.”
“Why’s that?”
“You don’t need it babe, you’re already annoying enough.”
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I gasp, “You’re awful, how can you say that?” but quickly give up acting offended and peer into the depths of her little quilted purse. My mother once told me to never, under any circumstances, go through a woman’s handbag but I honestly don’t think that rules like that apply to me.
I discover the saddest looking bag of cocaine I’ve ever seen and change my mind. “Fine, I’ll take the MDMA, but only because you insist.”
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“You don’t have to.”
“I'll do it if you do it.”
“I know it's not your favourite...”
“Nah, no, come on, nobody should do pills on their own, that breaks my heart,” I hold out my hands like I’m receiving holy bread, and she tips one out of the little bag for me. 
“Hey,” I rest my neck against the back of the couch, “We could do it the way those old ladies do at mass, yeah? Put it right on my tongue.”
Alison snickers, “I thought you were protestant. Have you even been to a mass?”
“No but please, I know how it goes,” I stick out my tongue while she delicately places a pill onto it. It starts dissolving straight away, the bitter chemical taste makes me wince and I wonder, just like I do every time I do this, whether it’s really worth it. They make these pills look so tasty with their bright colours and funny little imprints, but they're not exactly flavourtown.
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“Are you single at the moment?” Alison wants to know, and I nod, grimacing as it goes down, “Yeah, why?”
“I knew it, you know why? Because you act like an unstable person when you are. You seem unwell at the moment.”
“Do I?”
“Yeah, though it’s fine.”
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I look into her eyes, the blue of the sky before rain, and allow my pathetic feelings trickle in for a second. Sometimes I feel as though there is some crucial, working piece of me that’s been plucked out, leaving all of the other parts churning aimlessly like a clock with a missing cog, hands twitching desperately, uselessly, unable to move forward. I don’t think I like to be alone, in any sense. I think I need other people to feel complete, and I don’t know why that is.
I brush my fingers lightly along the side of Alison’s thigh, “And you?” I say softly, “are you single?”
“Yes, Jude.”
“Will you kiss me, then?” 
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Alison, when she kisses me, feels holy. She’s like a shrine whose feet I weep at, begging for healing. She and I, this is how we are, this is the cycle we repeat, when I’m lonely, when she’s lonely and we find ourselves in purgatory. She doesn’t want more from me than this, than this shallow kissing, masquerading as something with depth, and sex, sometimes, when we can find a place to have it. I shouldn’t want more either. I don’t think I really do, not if I’m honest with myself, but sometimes I want to ask her why not. Maybe she’s confusing on purpose. Maybe she just likes to punish men. I think that it’d be fair enough if she did. We as a collective have mostly been cruel to her.
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“Are you going to bring me home?” She murmurs, and I tuck her wavy red hair behind her ears, “Not as long as I share a wall with my eight year old sister.”
“Oh, not ideal. Where can we go?”
“I think all of our options are outside.”
“Fuck sake, and it’s freezing. Why aren’t you ever around in the summer?”
“Sorry, but look, I’m going to start learning to drive soon. Once I have a car I’ll have a decent place to take you.”
She laughs, “A car?”
“Yeah,” I clutch our hands together and hold them to my heart. It’s thumping now that I am coming up, “Alison, when I get a car, I’ll ride you in the passenger seat any day of the week.”
“Jesus Christ,” she groans, and buries her face in my neck, “That’s the most romantic thing a guy has said to me in ages. How depressing is that?”
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helluvabun · 1 month
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Val's daughter Headcannons 2
Darker edition
TWs and A/N: mentions of grooming and unhealthy relationships. Mentions of eating disorders if you squint. This was written in one go at 2:30am. not proof read. I can't stop thinking about her. She has my heart. (I'll edit her name in whenever voting finishes I just couldn't wait to write another tiny something for her)
Part one Master list
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Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ I don't see incest being a problem but Valerie does have an unhealthy attachment to her Valentino, including talking about XXX topics
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ She does also still do things like call him 'Daddy' and 'Papi, sitting on his lap, and kissing his cheek, but neither see them as an inappropriate gestures
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ She's only been in one serious relationship that wasn't a publicity stunt by Vox, and ruined it by being possesive (texting 500 times a minute, calling over and over) Otherwise just prefers sleeping around, so much that it's part of her branding
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Due to the mix of her dad's power and being half succubus, she does accidentally manipulate almost everyone she finds attractive without thinking. She thinks everyone just happens to also be attracted to her
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ She works with Vox as an actress, working in horror films primarily as the bimbo sterotype. Since it's Hell horror movies are primarily... practical effects. And she's the most extreme masocist ever. This combo is the main reason she's so popular
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ She's is a nepo baby to the bone. Very nice girl but what's the big deal about having a soul contract? Didn't you choose to sign it silly? On the plus side any souls she have are very well taken care of, Mainly being used as attendants, makeup artists, and 'besties'... if they're not completely left alone to go about their life as normal
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ She definitely thinks lolita is a love story
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Because of seeing the women Valentino works with, and due to off hand comments her father made (never about her but about his employees), she had alot of body insecurities during puberty and still now (though now she handles it a lot better)
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Valentino doesn't mind seeing her flirt and hook up with men; They often go to the clubs together so it's impossible to avoid. He does draw a line at Vox, and doesn't have patience for men who keep pushing after hija has already said no.
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ It wasn't normal to be a child in Hell, so she was pretty lonely, which she copes with now by being the life of the party
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teecupangel · 10 months
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It would be very funny if all the Assassin's just turned into FNAF Animatronics and just terrorizes all the Templars lol
I feel bad but when I read this ask, my immediate idea was:
Numbskull is the new security guard and has to go thru the horrors of the first FNAF game with Melanie taking the role of the phone guy who is either trying to downplay the horrors Numbskull is seeing for the sake of the company or is trying to keep Numbskull calm because there’s really no other option for the both of them.
Okay.
So before we give each Assassin an animatronic to haunt, our initial setup would be that Abstergo Entertainment has become haunted. No matter where they move, even if they leave behind lots of shit, the moment they are set up (maybe a month or so), people would encounter the creepy animatronics that they specifically left in the last location.
They can’t destroy them because they’re company property and, well, Abstergo wants to make money, not lose them.
If they hire unsuspecting cannon fodders, the Animatronics would just ignore them and start destroying other equipment.
But Templars?
Oh, they would focus on terrorizing the Templars, playing some sick game (like that game which I cannot find the name of where the other ‘players’ move if the ‘it’ is not looking at them but will freeze if the ‘it’ is looking at them) which… usually ends with the Templar being so scared that they would need therapy.
So yeah, Templars were being used to keep these animatronics from destroying expensive shit but… Melanie was freaking sure that they were getting more animatronics the more memories they look at!
The Animatronic-Assassins:
Altaïr: Chica (Chica’s a chicken which is a bird. Altaïr’s name means ‘flying/soaring eagle’ which is a bird. Altaïr gets the yellow animatronic chicken with the pink cupcake because I kept giving Altaïr the bird motif ones so yeah.)
Ezio: Bonnie (By the rule that the main four original haunted animatronics will be Desmond’s four ancestors (and technically the four main protagonists of the AC games), this means Ezio gets to be the blue animatronic rabbit)
Ratonhnhaké:ton: Freddy (Ratonhnhaké:ton can use ‘bear power’ in the DLC so he gets to be the animatronic bear. And I think it would be like a slap on the face if Ratonhnhaké:ton gets to be the main ‘mascot’ haunting Abstergo since Abstergo spent sooooo many years ignoring him.)
Edward: Foxy (Foxy’s the pirate, seems a done deal)
Desmond: Golden Freddy (only appears rarely and seems to be the most docile of the animatronics… although his appearance is said to be a message that this would be the Templar’s last night as all other animatronics becomes more vicious once he makes his appearance)
Arno: Either Circus Baby or Ballora, although I’m leaning more on Ballora mainly because of the blue color scheme. Also, the Minireenas can be considered as a reference to the coop mode avatars and Arno can use them to mess with the Templars.
Evie and Jacob: I feel like it would be fun if they were like the Sun (Jacob) and Moon (Evie) Daycare Attendant. They share one body but, instead of Jacob being a more or less harmless animatronic, Jacob is loud and focuses more on scaring Templars thru sounds and the impending doom because he can walk slowly even with lights on (very very slowly though) while Evie will be the silent and fast stay-in-the-shadows type. It’ll be easier to figure out where they are by keeping the lights on to keep Jacob as the main ‘personality’ but that means he’s pretty much the decoy that can easily empty batteries or short circuits the electricity if the Templars are not careful.
Alright, if you want Haytham or Shay in this AU, they’ll be the one trying to help the Templars survive… as Helpy and Wet Floor Bot.
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whyoneartheven · 4 months
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Helllooooo everyone! i just wanted to say sorry to anyone who has tagged me in like the last 3 weeks or so; i've been busy and rather sick and never got around to answering pretty much any of you. I'm gonna start afresh, but i just wanted to say sorry, and also that i really appreciate you guys thinking of me! you are all so sweet :)
i know i really haven't been on here much at all tbh, but i'm ok! i 'm kinda just taking a bit longer of a break than i planned XD
i still wanna try to answer you guys tho; so feel free to continue tagging me if you want!
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bunny-lovers · 10 days
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Magic / Ghost for the copy ability asks! KYO WA have a nice day! :D
Hope you & your f/os have a wonderful weekend & thank you for the ask! 😊 @stoneshipper @sweethardtz @goodmorningawfulbye @deregirls @magicalmousey @panshipper
⭐Tornado - What would you and your F/O do during a power outage?
We just cuddle & drink water during a power outage.
⭐Leaf - When vacationing, do you prefer a bustling place like the city? Or somewhere quiet like a forest?
I prefer somewhere quiet since Rumi & I love to hike.
⭐Water - Beach time! What do you and your F/Os do?
Walk on the sand, play volleyball & go for a swim.
⭐Ice - Beat the heat! What’s one cold dessert you and your F/Os would eat?
Ice cream!
⭐Fire - Are either of you a fan of spicy foods?
- I'm a fan of spicy foods. Rumi isn't a fan of spicy foods.
⭐Cook - What’s one food that your F/Os can eat, but you can’t (or vice-versa)?
- The one food that Rumi can eat but I can't are cherries. The one food that I can eat but Rumi can't are hot peppers.
⭐Cupid - How did your F/O confess their feelings about you? Or how did YOU confess to THEM?
I confessed Rumi by telling her my feelings for her since I had a huge crush on her.
⭐Magic - Name a memory you treasure with your F/Os.
When Rumi & I meet in person for the first time & our first kiss.
⭐Stone - What’s something you do with your F/Os to relax?
Watch a TV show/movie, eating healthy foods on the couch. Sometimes Rumi & I take a nap together in bed.
⭐Mike - Who’s the better singer? Do you sing duets?
Rumi is & we sometimes sing duets.
⭐Wheel - Favorite locations to go to? Any travel stories to share?
Anywhere it's warm & no, there isn't.
⭐Ghost - Halloween!! How do y’all celebrate?
We just hand out candies to the kids while watching a Halloween movie.
⭐Sleep - Favorite sleeping position? Also, who’s more likely to crash during the middle of the day?
The honeymoon hug! That would be Rumi.
⭐Fighter - How do you protect each other?
We both stand up for each other & being there for each other in times of need.
⭐Doctor - How would your F/Os take care of you if you got sick? How about the other way around?
Rumi would take my temperature, make me some chicken noodle soup, tells me I need to rest & grab me a glass of water. I do the same thing.
⭐Wing - Cutest moment with your F/Os?
It was when I first saw Rumi interacting with the kids, talking about her quirk & her job as the #5 Pro Hero. She was talking nicely to them.
⭐Festival - Do you go to any events, like a party or concert?
No, we don't.
⭐Yo-yo - Any fankids? If you don’t have any, do you have intentions of having one?
Nope, we don't have any yet & yes, we do want to have fankids someday.
⭐Artist - How do you two express your love for each other?
Mainly cooking, telling how much we love and appreciate each other, gifts & touch.
⭐Spider - If there’s a spider in the house, how is it taken care of?
It depends on the size, if it's small, I just kill it. If it's big, Rumi kills it.
⭐Needle - How would your F/O comfort you?
Rumi would just lie down with me & hold me while she says how much she loves me. Sometimes Rumi would bring my favorite food to make me feel better.
⭐Animal - Are there any pets you have? What kind?
Nope, no pets yet.
⭐UFO - Ever gone stargazing with each other? What was it like?
Yes & it's amazing!
⭐Beam - What’s your ideal date with each other?
Play tennis!
⭐Archer - If anyone tried to flirt with you, how does your F/O take it (or vice versa)? Do they (or you) get jealous?
She's stays calm, tells the person that I'm hers & move along. Mirko would ask me if I'm alright. Yes, Mirko does get a little jealous.
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naitosutan · 8 months
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What if I wanna make things for myself 👉👈lololol
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moonlightsmasquerade · 2 months
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What if Submandela Adam and Evie met their swap counterparts? How do you imagine it would go?
Oh man, swap Adam would be terrified of a deep one version of himself, probably thinking it was going to replace him. Submandela Adam would see the "real" Adam, as swap Adam was never replaced, and despite the fact this guy is paranoid and skittish, he had the life submandela wished he could have had (mainly being able to live with his mother). I have a feeling they wouldn't get on
As for the Evelins, submandela Evelin would also be pretty scared, but swap Evelin would try her best to show she's not a threat. Another case of seeing what you're life could have been, but swap Evelins more melancholic about it, an Evelin who's life hadn't been ripped from her and lost her friend. They'd def get on better
As for both meeting, I do not think Submandela Adam and Swap Evelin would like eachother, two fish beasts just hissing at eachother. and Swap Adam and Submandela Evelin are just... awkward.
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reginaphalange2403 · 4 months
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tw controversial:🤡
i lowkey need Chris Evans to get his ass UP and end these nasty motherfuckers on here (aka his own weirdo fans) who keep saying the most foul things about his own wife, like??? idk defend your fucking woman, she gets torn apart every time she’s seen with him and he damn well knows it. maybe it doesn’t bother her one bit (which if not, slay, good for her she’s stronger than me lol) but STILL . Mr Evans grow a pair challenge 💀 and don’t come at me with WElL maYBe hIS TEaM iS teLliNg HIm NoT TO yeah I know, I’m not an idiot I just needed to wack him real quick for having no balls lmao
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insomniacwriter17 · 1 year
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I do perceive Billy as a big cry baby, at least in the show he can cry so easily… We had seen that little Billy is definitely one crier adorable baby, and how about big Billy?
- big billy tries not to cry. It’s never been acceptable, and weakness was always frowned upon.
- but even billy has his limits. he tried not to let it happen, but there are times he can’t help but tear up, his chin wobbles, and he tried to keep his emotions in check. because it was never good to let neil see him upset.
- even now that he was with steve, where it was safe, that was a hard habit to break.
- it doesn’t happen nearly as often anymore, because billy generally isn’t sad anymore. and now that he drops on a regular basis as he should, his aged-up self can keep his emotions in check pretty well.
- but he still has bad days, because of course he does. everyone does.
- billy’s usually asleep when steve comes home from work late at night. so when steve comes in at the end of a very long shift at family video to find billy standing in the kitchen and staring into the fridge like it held the answers of life, steve was a little concerned.
- “bills?” he calls gently, stopping a few paces away from the other. “what are you doing up?”
- “couldn’t sleep.” billy’s voice was rough, like the words were getting caught in his throat as he said them.
- immediately, steve knows something’s wrong. “you wanna talk about it?” he asked knowingly.
- “no,” billy lies. steve waits, pulling himself up to sit on the counter while billy continues to stare into the fridge. “it’s my mom’s birthday,” billy finally admits, closing the fridge door and turning to look at steve.
- “oh.” steve didn’t know how to respond to that; billy never talked about his mom.
- “her fiftieth,” billy continues quietly. steve’s hand reaches for billy’s immediately, and their fingers intertwine almost naturally.
- “i love you,” steve whispers into the darkness between them. between the words is an unspoken im sorry and you deserved better.
- he feels it before he hears it, billy’s hand shakes and then a miserable little sob. steve’s jumping to the floor and hugging billy before billy can even whisper his name.
- billy crumbles like wet sand in steve’s arms, sobs shaking his body and his hands gripping at steve like he’s going to disappear.
- billy cries for what seems like forever, but he can’t seem to stop. he cries for ten year old him who lost his mama, cries for 18 year old him who didn’t have his mom there at his graduation, and for him today who had a life he loved and he couldn’t tell her. he cried for every version of himself in between.
- and steve just holds him, comforting him and reminding himself that sometimes, it’s good for people to be sad. to not have that emotion pent up any longer.
- eventually sobs soften to sniffles, and billy pulls away enough to look up at steve. “i’m so sorry,” he whispers, letting go of his boyfriend to wipe his eyes.
- “don’t be,” steve shakes his head, moving to cup billy’s face in his hands and swipe at the tears before billy can. “you’re allowed to be sad.”
- moonlights filtering through the kitchen window and it makes the tears welling in billy’s eyes sparkle. his eyes are red-rimmed, cheeks wet, but he looks so open and honest and raw.
- “you’re allowed to be sad that she’s missing out on you. i mean, look at you,” steve squeezes billy’s cheek gently. “you’re beautiful.”
- the tear-streaked cheeks turn pink as billy looks away. “stop it, steve.” it’s a weak rebuttal.
- “never,” steve replies, placing a gentle kiss on the tip of billy’s nose. “you’re mine and i love you.”
- “i love you too,” billy smiles, leaning forward until his forehead is resting on steve’s shoulder.
- “let’s get in bed,” steve offers, leading his exhausted partner up the stairs. they both end up in steve’s bathroom, billy washing his face while steve takes a quick shower.
- under the harsh light of the bathroom, steve can see billy is still upset. despite the blonde’s best efforts, small tears still leak out of his eyes, leaving tear tracks on red, splotchy cheeks. his eyes shined and billy’s lip was swollen from where he was biting it nervously.
- steve hates it when billy is sad, but even in the heartbreak, steve loves him dearly. that’s still his billy, his boyfriend.
- always beautiful. always perfect. always steve’s.
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kiwichaeng · 2 months
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And there I stand to the side, five minutes early to my errand, reading omegaverse fanfiction
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hannahssimblr · 2 months
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There is heat. Actual heat on my skin.
While Jen and I amble along the edge of St. Stephen’s Green I'm dimly aware that she’s saying something, and really, I should be listening because it is her birthday and she deserves my undivided attention, but the sun has just appeared from behind a building and for the first time in months I am experiencing its warmth on the side of my face. Months of dark, wet gloom have almost made me forget what this feels like. It’s a familiar rush, actually… MDMA. Yes. That’s what it's like.
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“Are you listening to me?” She says accusingly, and she snaps sharply into focus. 
“Yes, of course.”
“Well then what did I just say?”
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“Um,” I peer around for clues. It is the fourteenth of March. The shops and restaurants surrounding the park have begun to put cheery little shamrocks in their windows, and the Shelbourne Hotel has hung tricolour flags up above the grand doorway. We squeeze in close to the iron railings to allow a slow moving crowd of Canadian tourists with fluffy green Viking hats, and Guinness t-shirts under their coats pass by. “Uh, you were saying that you hate St. Patrick’s day.”
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She scoffs, “Um, well, I do hate St. Patrick’s day, it’s gimmicky, but that’s not at all what I was saying,” she makes a swing for my arm and I manage to dodge her, “I can’t believe you weren’t listening to me on my birthday.”
“I’m listening now, sorry, sorry…” The sunshine glints between a gap in the bud laden branches overhead and I squint against it. God, that really is nice…
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 “...driving me kind of crazy, like, honestly, if we could even talk about something else for a minute…”
Oh, shit. I focus really intently on what she’s saying. “Michelle,” I announce triumphantly, “This is about Michelle.”
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She rolls her eyes, “Yes. Of course. If someone could enact a ban on her going on and on about Evan all of the time, it’s like, Evan this, Evan that, ‘Evan is so sweet, he’s just not like those other boys’…”
I snicker, “Oh, they’re just in love. Don’t be such a misery guts.”
“Yeah, nobody goes on about it as much as them. I get it. It’s been like, six months now can they not just cool it?” She heaves out a sigh, “And I’m just saying, I’m not a selfish person, right?”
“Nuh uh, never.”
“But if we meet them in a minute and all they do is gaze lovingly into each other's eyes I’m going to be mad, okay? I’m going to be fully upset about it. It’s my birthday. They can bloody think of things to say to me.”
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I sling my arm around her as we amble through the gates of the park. The spring flowers are in full bloom now, and the smiling faces of the daffodils beam up at us from the borders along the path. “Of course they’ll make a fuss about you, Jenny, they’re not monsters. Yeah, they’re full on with the PDA and talking about their big feelings but they love you and they’ll want your birthday to be special.”
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“Well, good,” she says primly, “This is my one day.”
“They’ll have me to answer to if they don’t behave.”
“Ooh, big scary Jude,” she giggles, “Will you shove them in a locker or flush their heads down the toilet?”
“I never did that to anyone!” I elbow her gently in the ribs, “who do you think I am?”
“Like I don’t remember the breast-pocket-ripping rampage you went on in first year!”
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We’re both tittering as we round the gentle curve of the path and are assaulted by the sight of Michelle and Evan in the grass by the Pavillion, lying horizontal and open mouthed kissing each other. I gasp and shield Jen’s eyes with my hand. 
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“Ugh! No! Too late, I’ve seen them,” She cries, and I spin her around to me and get into her eye line instead so that she has something appealing to look at instead. “Do you think it’s too early in the year for ice cream?”
“No,” she says. “Are you gonna buy me some?”
“Yeah, as many scoops as you want. Maybe when we come back those two will have finished their little performance.”
“Ugh, yes please. How do you always know what I want before I do?”
I shrug, “talent.”
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“Jude Turner,” She shakes her head as we walk towards the exit together, “you're such a friend to women.”
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1st dagger mention!!
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coachbeards · 22 days
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i also think it's still so funny that audrey + nathan watched someone use duke for committing suicide and then like. presumably didn't check in on him????? they planned for a date instead lol?
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replaying RE7 and wondering about this picture whilst being very uncomfy
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